[Haiku] never surrender

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ DeadFuze ยท 8134 points ยท Posted at 14:36:23 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)


never surrender

requested by Kai: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD67Y6zti30&lc=z12zyl5yhq3ttj1vk22ahpeowvmsczkxu04
lion king: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GibiNy4d4gc
ted cruz: https://youtu.be/IT9TWpKkHPs?t=1666
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SaladBurner ยท 669 points ยท Posted at 16:38:26 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Just zoom in on Ted's face and I'll laugh

theseleadsalts ยท 446 points ยท Posted at 20:23:31 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Obligatory www.tedcruzforhumanpresident.com reference.

RelevantComics ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 01:12:26 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I have over 42 years!

truly Spanish

9me123 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:47:21 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Or French

Pianohombre ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:48:21 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Or nearly any latin-derived language.

pokelord13 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:48:04 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I don't know about you guys but it clearly looks like English to me

biggmclargehuge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:20:35 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

It's definitely human of some form

TheUniquestUsername ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 23:16:24 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

What a wonderful website.

ThoughtlessBanter ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:56:10 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I haven't laughed out loud over something I've seen on Reddit in a very long time, that being said it's safe to say I just cracked the fuck up.

MattieShoes ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:04:31 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I have seen many people and Ted Cruz is one of them - Firstname Lastname

Haha, that's the funniest part to me

Pianohombre ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

And now for some human music.

Space__Ghost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:09 on July 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Ted Cruz is only one being and not several. - Guy Manderson

kek

ghost_victim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:40 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I want more. So funny

burnsrado ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 21:32:43 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 23:50:34 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

dat nose whine lmao

blow_a_stink_muffin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:18:54 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

It sounds like a train whistle, but high pitched

theisaacguy ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

That's a 10

Daspaintrain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:15:47 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Sounds like LBJ kinda

tomothy37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:02 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Why does that video in particular run really, really badly on my comp? Every other video works just fine, but that one is extremely jittery.

hashtagzodiackiller

Glampkoo ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:12:56 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

His face kinda reminds me of Jontron for some reason because of that zoom.

surger1 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:28:03 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I think it's because of how often JonTron is used in content aware zooms

AcerRubrum ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY_SHIT_IS_PERFECT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:25 on August 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I fucking love Jontron man

I know some people gonna hate but god damn I love that man

[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:39 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

nice sight jon

nliausacmmv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:34:02 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

That's what that's called!

Schlongloggin ยท 398 points ยท Posted at 16:58:42 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

https://youtu.be/IT9TWpKkHPs?t=27m46s

Source for anyone interested. We need more of this.

Synthetic_Saint ยท 299 points ยท Posted at 17:37:10 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

for the lazy, the context is he's imitating winston churchill

calferns ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 18:37:04 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

attempting to, at least

ohnowait ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:57:54 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Haven't you heard, he does amazing Simpsons impressions!

Lavaswimmer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:25:39 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

*Simpstons

Poromenos ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 19:39:05 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 03:55:59 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

what the fuck was winston even trying to say at 0:50?

Schlongloggin ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:29:05 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

"At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of His Majesty's Government-every man of them."

I can't stop laughing at that part since you pointed it out.

OldJimmy ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:22:21 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Churchy was famously drunk, like, all the time.

ivanover ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:55:36 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
burnsrado ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:14:31 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Is he drunk?

ThePurplePanzy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:27:20 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Dude you listen to the context? Because he was definitely not mocking.

Poromenos ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 23:54:43 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I know he wasn't mocking, but it was so horribly done that it sounded like he was making fun of Churchill.

Ricketycrick ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:02:31 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

For real, Churchil didn't put any emphasis on never surrender, whereas Ted Cruz utilized all the repressed emphasis he failed to use during any of his other speeches.

WildTurkey81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:55 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

People are so quick to make a judgement based on how something seems without knowing a thing about it. It's rather silly.

AlmightyB ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:05:03 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

The British people were rallied by Churchill's high pitch battle cries.

ingo2020 ยท 563 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

oh god i thought it was edited to sound like that

this is the best

willi_werkel ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 22:44:04 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I thought this was his actual voice because I never heard it before. Whew :D

casanovafranknstein ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:35:02 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I believe the Lion King part is edited in.

fluffkomix ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 18:44:25 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

hahaha, the way he continues after that makes him sound exactly like Michael Scott

[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:33:09 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Yeah, that was totally surreal.

wra1th42 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:35:07 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

He sounds like the aliens from Galaxy Quest

AlphabetDeficient ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:42 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

That's honestly what I thought he was going for.

Humpa ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:55:58 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Ok. I've never actually heard him hold a speech before.

He's surprisingly good. This one silly part is being highlighted, but other than that he's really competent.

He's a shit dude though.

PaplooTheEwok ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:53:12 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Yeah, he's a really smart dude with a talent for rhetoric. Always annoys me to see people discounting his intellect when they say, "Oh, anyone can get into Harvard" or whatever else. He didn't get to where he is today by being stupid, that's for sure. It just makes me sad, really, because I'm sure he could accomplish a lot of good if he weren't motivated by flawed ideology and blind ambition.

[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:03:27 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

i'm of the opinion that we need far less of ted cruz doing his awful impressions

Snake-Oil ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 18:39:46 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

LESS? I want as much of this ridiculous goblin man as possible.

[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:41:25 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

i like ted cruz

i don't like his impressions

kamicozzy ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:50:02 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 20:54:08 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

please kill me

kamicozzy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:58:38 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
poo-poo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:53:13 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CharlesMan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:27 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

He did nail that scene though, damn

Panhead369 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:52:40 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

oh my god why is this a thing

why did he think these were a good idea

who let him present these to the general public

so much cringe

BFF_With_Nick_Cage ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:59:37 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Oh pls. Everything is so cringy nowadays. He seems to like doing impressions, since it's a very recorrent thing. He's just an all around goofy character, and seems to be completely chilled.

shrekinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:34:53 on July 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

He's a fucking lizard who failed Human Impersonation Academy. It's a bloody disgrace.

K3TtLek0Rn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:11 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

All those people kissing ass, ugh.

[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:44 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KGBeast420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:58 on July 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

kill me pete

[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:43:08 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

what's a simpston?

BFF_With_Nick_Cage ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:21 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I actually think he'd make a great Flanders. He has such a goofy good guy voice.

fantasticdude ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:48:38 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

gay comment fam

dryerlintcompelsyou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:02:25 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

no homo

phonomir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:23:26 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GreatestOfAllTime96 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

holy shit dude

the cringe is too stronj

craZYmonkey53073 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 17:45:53 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Is there a subreddit for just videos of Ted Cruz?

CrimzonGryphon ยท 335 points ยท Posted at 18:55:32 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
craZYmonkey53073 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:13:43 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Ayyyyyye

Wigly3 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 19:35:44 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
craZYmonkey53073 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:22:47 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Dammit

rabbithole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:26 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Check out Vic Berger on Twitter and Vine. Dudes a jackpot of bizarre Cruz videos.

ChineseSweatPants ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:47:09 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

This is the best worst thing.

steelpan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:14:21 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

It's so bad it's good.

what_words_may_come ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 16:13:55 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

This is the type of video I come to this sub for.

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ DeadFuze ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 17:57:56 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

/u/kmlkmljkl with another masterpiece

Trynottobeacunt ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:29:58 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

When the meme monopoly is too good to criticise.

pennypinball ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:22:45 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

didn't he drop out of the race?

Gheart8003 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:00:04 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Yeah, a while back.

SabashChandraBose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:14 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Like the turd he is.

mothersuckel ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:41:56 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

That's fucking beautiful

WilliamHSpliffington ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:04:46 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

This is incredible

martzfartz ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:12:43 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Really anything that comes out of kmlkmljkl is gold

Kmlkmljkl ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 18:22:08 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

some people would really disagree with you

Sp0rks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:20 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

In the end he didn't shit gold

martzfartz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:00 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

lmfao

Puggpu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:07:48 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I'd say it's 75% good, 25% meh. Needs to upload more hamster videos.

sketch_fest ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:57:10 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

It's really hit or miss. Mostly miss

Star-spangled-Banner ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:58:33 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

The close-up of his smile at the end made it perfect.

DeVitoMcCool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:02 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Tremendous. Just tremendous.

Noorgaard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:16 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

a true gem

Francoberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:08 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I was thinking this would go differently.

Expected to hear him say 'we will never surrender' followed by his concession speech

HardcorePhonography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:19 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

"I'mmmmmmm the Zodiaaaaaaaaaaac" is what I heard.

GG_Henry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:56 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

I have no idea what I just saw but it was oddly nostalgic in a hilariously terrifying kind of way.

PM_ME_YOUR_BOOK_IDEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:45 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

Can someone add in a clip from the jontron episode about Disney bootlegs where simba hangs himself?

iamabiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:27 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

God, I love this sub

makemesweat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:28 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

This is the best shit on the Internet๏ปฟ

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:47 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:36 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)

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Mentioned_Videos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:48 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*

Other videos in this thread: Watch Playlist โ–ถ

VIDEO COMMENT
Senator Ted Cruz Speech at Annual Claremont Institute Dinner 273 - Source for anyone interested. We need more of this.
Ted Cruz 85 - I made this just for you
Winston S Churchill: We Shall Fight on the Beaches 62 - More like mocking.
jontron blizzard rant IT FUCKING SUCKS content aware scale 37 - My favorite one
Ted Cruz Auditions For The Simpsons 24 - Never
CAS Jontron - Ahh 23 - I think it's because of how often JonTron is used in content aware zooms
GOP candidate Cruz acts out 'Princess Bride' scene 14 - There is no end
Iron Maiden - Aces High (Official Video) 1 - Obligatory
Reva Unsicker - John Daker 1 - Reminds me of

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