Sawljah ยท 3091 points ยท Posted at 15:39:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right at the end, when he says "I was born by the snatch and now i want to die by the snatch" the woman is laughing uncontrollably. Award winning performance.
This. I was amused before this line, but his delivery was perfect, Someone needs to track down the writer of this porn, I'm sure the original has credits locked away in some shady valley warehouse.
I like the line after she says that she got someone out of a coma and refused her advances right after being awoken: "men... just 'cause their conscious doesn't mean they're conscientious"
Don't try to imagine it, live it. Be the change, feel the bern, just do it, be a hero!
ario93 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:10:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did hear it and I loved it too, but that line seemed kind of forced and less authentic. The kids throwing rocks at him was so organic, out of nowhere and delivery timing was perfect. So good
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"throw," not "threw."
Jesus, it's like people on Reddit try to butcher every quote every time. You literally just watched this and you instantly got the quote wrong. What is with you people?
Rob, if you're watching this, hire that man for an episode titled "Dennis and Sweet Dee meet their real dad." That guys looks like he could be Dennis' biological dad.
My vote goes to the first porn I ever saw. Some old vhs tape.
Hostage situation. Girl holding another hostage, naked. Cops bust in and a struggle ensues. Guy cop suddenly stops and says "Wait! Let's all just fuck!" The girls ask why.
All I know is that it had to be in like, 1994 when I saw this. Seem like the right era? No idea how old it was at the time, and I'm no expert on fine vintage smut.
I came of age around the same time as you, and this was also one of the first pornos I ever saw. I'm 99% sure it was produced sometime in the latter half of the 1980s.
In the course of collecting golden age porn, I rediscovered the film that this scene comes from. That's why I'm certain that the guy is Joey Silvera. I'm also pretty sure that I have it in my collection, but that's large and poorly organized.
It's a great scene, and now I HAVE to find it. Will advise.
My favorite will always be from the first one I ever watched. Cheerleader was sucking the nerd's dick while he gave her advice on her science homework: "Well, here's part of your problem. You spelled 'paramecium' with a 6. That's... Actually that's kind of retarded."
Like 6.75" (notice how I was casual with the 'like' but I totally managed to get it down to a 1/4"?)
It hasn't gotten laughed at yet, but then it's also kinda like bigfoot. Not just big and hairy, but also only gets seen only every once so often (and you'll only find shitty blurry pictures online).
Slightly related, the last woman I got a little handsy with and this is after a massive dry spell, kept giggling and laughing while necking. Says she's just really ticklish. If this goes further, I might be able to report back with getting my dick laughed at. As you can imagine I'm totally looking forward to this possibility. So fingers x'd huh?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Took me some searching but I found it. Someone sent it to me when they found out I had never watched porn, and they said, "Boy, do I have one for you."
Does he have his ears gauged? looks like he put clear spacers in so he could look more like a nerd. I love his acting , I got second hand embarrassment cause I thought he was gonna be a bad fuck then I remembered I was watching a professional porno.
My favorite still has to be imagine Brock lesner with an increased iq of twelve and the voice of the hulk quietly yelling "DROPPPPPIN LOADS!!" when he finishes I had to stop
Alright, now I need to hunt down a porn from about a decade ago. Maybe reddit can help.
There was a dude playing Flight of the Bumble Bee on a baby-grand piano while a chick was shoving a baseball bat into her ass. It was one of the weirdest, funniest things I've ever seen.
Not my first porn, but I think the first to make me laugh. I don't remember why there were two guys, but the girl was "the babysitter." She's going to town sucking off one guy, and the other waves his dick in her face and says "now, don't neglect mine." Something about his tone made it hilarious. Friends and I occasionally used that line for a few years (for example, if someone was refilling everyone's cup from a pitcher).
Moikle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah mate, "Is this YOUR bike?" "no no no sir" "yes yes yes girl" and "Suck a cock!"
I can't remember much about it, but I remember one that starts with an electrician checking on a woman's fuse box. They acknowledged that the fuse box was broken, that there was inexplicably hay all over the floor, and that the electrician was wearing something odd, all wrapped up by the woman saying "why don't I just take off your pants?"
All in a matter of ten seconds
2xCmet ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 18:54:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a joke about anal to my first girlfriend in high school not actually asking for it. She looked at me in horror and said "But there's poo in there!!!"
wuhkay ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok! So we were hanging out after school and her parents were gone for the evening. Things got a bit, you know, but it was getting late and she didn't want to be caught by her parents, so we ended up hanging out and talking. We talked about sex things that we might want to try. The conversation went to anal and that's when I asked her.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:52:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I said ok it goes a little like this and SHE said"oh! That's very uncomfortable! " and I said but it's downright painful for me but I'll do it because I love you hold still now
wuhkay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was from the Netherlands, we called him Fietsopa (bicycle grandpa) because of his famous bycicle repair porno. You can find more of his videos when you search for Sikke van der Veer, that's his real name
Edit: for those who are really curious and don't mind skipping some nasty shit to look at the fun scenes: http://www.fietsopa.nl/
Click videos to see all of his masterpieces
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In France, we have that famous line from a porn from the early 80ies, which is a guy in a suit touching his crotch through his pants, while an half naked girl in lingerie strips for him. He says, with a really monotonic voice, something like:
"Right now I'd bet you're already picturing yourself sucking my dick in sync with my balls whipping on your face."
the way they trudge into the shot, like they arent at all excited about what theyre about to do.
plarah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:37:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, a German friend of mine told me about this scene a year ago, and I was just going to mention it. He said probably every German, Austrian and Swiss guy 25 +/- 5 years old knows about this.
KToff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:52:56 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is the almost palpable sense of relief of the actress when they can finally move to familiar territory :-D
0xF013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best part of Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson is when he is flipping through the stations and Jerry Lewis is on everyone. So in disgust he goes outside for a walk.
Which is a pretty good plot advancement mechanism. I can see a room of writers sitting around a desk using it for anything,
"...so the guy decides to murder the President of France? Why?"
"How about...because he is trying to watch TV, but Jerry Lewis is on every station?"
"Brilliant!"
"Why does the guy want to get back with his girlfriend? Because he was trying to watch TV, but Jerry Lewis was on every station, which is a hell much worse than living with a woman."
"Why was the guy pan-handling door-to-door? Because Jerry Lewis was on every station, and he need alcohol to numb the pain, and a beer is about tree-fiddy"
nonofax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a bilingual English and French speaker, that's hilarious. There's just something so deadpan about the delivery, like he's reading stereo instructions.
The Netherlands you say? That makes me think of the hydraulic press guy. "This pussy Is very dangerous and may at-tack at any time. We must "deal with it."
My favorite is the classic "Old and Young" intro, just because of how broken the English is.
"How to pay here for?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I beg to differ. The best line ever is from the Hedgehog himself as he was about to have sex with a lucky lady and a "twin" brother assisting, "Double your pleasure, double your fun. Take one in the pussy and one in the bun!".
i dunno when i was 14 me and some buddies snuck into the burbank theater in san jose (google it). and this dude said I wanna put my burrito in your taco and shoot hot sauce all over your face. its been 30 years. i still think about that line all the time hah
My friend's dad had audio cassettes with just the porno sounds on them. One of the lines we still jokingly use today was, "Stop talking and start sucking."
Side note not sue if these cassettes were an actual things or something he made. Any input?
Yeah, it's not even the best plot line, it's just the fact that they did whatever the hell they wanted for the last 5 seconds because they knew no one would be watching.
parav0x ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 17:59:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's with the creepy single frame of her and the wolf at 0.02?
PTCH1 ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 18:22:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when youtube didn't let you choose thumbnails people gamed the system by figuring out the frame that would be chosen for the thumbnail and inserting a custom thumbnail at that frame.
4K_VCR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:54:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that! Didn't it always pick the middle frame of the video?
haxdal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:27:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the beginning it was a few seconds into the video. Then they gave you an option of choosing either the 25%, 50% or the 75% frame (or some other set increment, can't remember exactly) and then you could choose which frame to use (or well, the min:sec IIRC) and then we got the custom one.
haxdal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before you had the option to set an image for the preview of a video on YouTube people used to have an image at a predetermined frame to set the preview
When I first clicked the second link it looked like it was shot for HGTV. Like the scene in every show where the realtor is finding out what the homeowner is looking for.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to see the Red Riding Hood video in full, because if it doesn't include the line "Why grandma, what a big cock you have," I will lose all faith in humanity.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Le thรจme est censรฉ changer le premier samedi du mois?
Qwisatz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'est une rรฉfรฉrence ร la chaine franรงaise canal + oรน chaque premier samedi du mois il diffuse des films pornographique tard le soir, s'รฉtรฉ devenue trรจs populaire pendant la fin des annรฉes 90
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:01 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first few were fine but after the millionth one it's all the same... except recently he's just crushing things he's getting paid to advertise. Any other time on reddit you're the devil for this but hydraulic press is ok because he has a silly accent that we like to imitate in every comment section.
Edit: I can't believe my highest rated comment is a link to a porn video. Stay awesome reddit.
[deleted] ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
SPOILER ALERT
She put her pussy up to his face and leans back while he licks it, she then puts her ass in his face and they get all 69 freaky, you could see her butthole, he then proceeds hump her in all various 80's style positions with a rubber, then he titty fucks the bimbo and makes some half awkward cumming shot on her chin, oh yeah and he doesn't die.
And also. Did you just book report a porno? You typed it out yourself? It was surprisingly concise. I didn't feel any need to watch the video after your synopsis.
Many words are the same or are incredibly similar in German and English. This should come as no surprise not only because they are both West Germanic languages but many English words have German roots.
Omg I got that as a notification off of zedge. Sounded more like an Indian guy to be honest. Now that it's been going off I feel like I should have my friends bring up a bed for me
Oh yeah, I think they probably were for you. I thought the subtitles were hard coded in English in the video. It was actually a youtube translated subtitle function. I had no idea youtube had that feature.
This is exactly what it's like when I dream about sex. I realize something doesn't make sense a little, but before giving it any thought I think, "Well if that doesn't make sense.. then there should be sex."
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 18:33:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's chuck testa
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:27:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And is being sued for knowingly transmitting stds. Guy's a scumbag
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:51:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Innocent until proven guilty. We don't need your attitude. That's why Guantanamo is still open. Don't ever pass judgement on someone until they have their day in court.
Innocent until proven guilty is a mechanism courts use to not wrongfully send someone to prison. It has nothing to do with whether the public is allowed to judge the fuck out low lives like that guy.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:45:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The words of all those women isn't "proof"? Sure it might not be enough to get a conviction outright but there's definitely some proof, considering that it would be quite outlandish for all of those women to not be telling the truth. Implying that all 9 or so women who said this are lying or that their words don't mean anything just feeds into a culture that discourages women from reporting rape, especially against people with power like this dude, since it seems like no one will want to believe them.
Jiratoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:50:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody implied that the accusations of the 9 women don't count or that they are lying - the only thing said was innocent until proven guilty.
And it doesn't matter if 1 or 15 come forward, it's still innocent until proven guilty. Any other way to handle this would be very stupid - 10 people accuse you and instant guilty doesn't sound like a good idea or system.
That quite clearly implies that the women's accusations don't count or are lying, since we already know that the women accused him of rape, which is proof (unless they're lying or their accusations don't matter..). I'm not saying it's a legal conviction, I'm just saying that disqualifying the proof that's already laid out and bare to see is bad.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:00:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't proof because you can be accused of a crime without having committed the crime.
Jiratoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:54 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That quite clearly implies that the women's accusations don't count or are lying
To me that was more like "it's not proven yet" and not "they're lying".
Maybe also some confusion regarding proof and evidence in a court setting - yes, their accusations are proof against the guy, but it does not prove that he's guilty.
I think a guy saying "someone who is accused of multiple counts of sexual violence and MURDER is a scumbag" is not equivalent to "Guantanamo is good fuck due process and lets torture some bitches!"
public opinion isn't a court of law, just because they haven't been convicted doesn't mean we all don't know he's guilty. everyone knows casey anthony killed her kid, even though she was proclaimed innocent.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:36:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know he's guilty though. The reason 'innocent until proven guilty' is such a necessary social norm, especially in cases related to rape, is that even if the person ends up innocent their professional and person lives can be irreparably ruined.
I'm not telling you what to think on this guy (I can totally imagine there is some abusive misogynistic shit going on behind the scenes in the porn industry), but I do think it's a good practice both legally and publically to not condemn a person before they have been proven guilty.
Cosby was accused of more and found innocent. While I don't like to disbelieve rape claims when you are a porn actress your whole sense of credibility is diminished and they have no proof just bullshit claims.
Legacy rape cases going back decades are very hard to get convictions for. There is a marked difference between "found not guilty by means of insufficient evidence" and "totally innocent all the women are lying bitches".
Also, the whole "Your credibility is diminished" line is exactly why there is still so much violence against women going on.
I have a friend that shoots adult films and have been on set a number of times. These girls are constantly fucked up off dope and so many drugs who knows what they actually want or don't.
Now am I saying it's right to take advantage of a girl fucked up? Not at all, but when your on set of s fucking porn studio doing lines of heroine on a dinner plate expect to probably get fucked off camera. And the thing is they do it day in and day out, how could one say oh he raped me this time when I was barred out but when I took meth I totally sucked his dick. In a profession where sex is everything you should stay on point.
I think she died of an overdose, plain and simple.
Her husband was, of course, sketchy as all fuck, but/and he killed himself not long after her death. If memory serves, he was found in a room with a makeshift "altar" to her.
Now, such a suicide could be due to either grief or guilt. But, arguably, injecting someone with and overdose is quite a cold-blooded murder. Most spousal murders are hot-blooded and violent.
He might have accidentally injected her with an overdose, but then that's not murder, it's manslaughter (if that). Which, again, seems like a plausible cause for a guilt-ridden suicide.
Dude. Don't you think that if you're going to talk about stuff like this you should provide some reference links? Or at the very least name the fucking people you're talking about?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her name is Haley Paige. The other two are Joanna Angel and James Deen. Deen has his own issues, having recently been accused of sexual assault by several women in the industry.
Also there's that one clip where he was supposed to be fucking a girl dressed like a clown, but she broke down crying in a "what am I doing with my life" moment and he was a total dick about it.
I don't have a link, you can google as well as I can, but I'm sure I've seen something like this, and I'm pretty sure it was James Deen.
298 - I'm the cook Lemon-Stealing Whores But I poop from there! (NSFW) No, don't do it, I'm a virgin! Edit: Sorry, the last link was the same as the 3rd link for a minute. C/V is difficult.
129 - In France, we have that famous line from a porn from the early 80ies, which is a guy in a suit touching his crotch through his pants, while an half naked girl in lingerie strips for him. He says, with a really monotonic voice, something like: "...
63 - German porn well known for bad dialogue Girl: "This is the fuse box that causes problems all the time. Could you have a look?" Guy: "Yes, sure. But why is there straw lying around here?" Girl: "Why do you wear a mask?"...
Danny D is packing a horsecock. There was a scene where he broke into a house as a burglar and the wife and husband were in the kitchen. The wife was making the husband a sandwich and she took the piece of white bread and wrapped it around his cock. The piece of white bread only went around half his cock. Now whenever I see white bread I think of Danny D's horsecock.
Who wrote this. I want that person to write an installment of the cock goblin series.
For those of you who don't know, cock goblin is a girl dressed up as a goblin called 'cock gobblin' who attempted to have the male performer's cock for herself and the female performer says 'shoo cock goblin! this cock isn't for you!' and shoo aways the cock goblin.
Example 1:
Girl is having sex with guy cowgirl style and occasionally his dick will slip out of her vagina and she would put it back in. unbeknownsth of them a cock gobblin sneaks by and the next time his dick slips out she grabs it and starts sucking on it.
The female performer reaches back in order to retrieve the cock but grabs her head instead, she looks back and is like 'Da FUCK?!!' and scares her off by throwing a shoe at her and says 'Shoo cock gobblin! this cock isn't for you!' and the cock gobblin gimps away making a incomprehensible cock goblin noise.
Example 2:
The White House.
Michelle Obama comes into the presidential bedroom wearing her first lady lingerie, only to find the cock goblin riding Obama's cock! The cock goblin is also wearing an Isis hat.
Michelle Obama says 'Get outta cock goblin, the president's cock belongs to ME' and she throws a shoe at the cock goblin, scaring her off.
After a long days work of beating up bad guys, SpiderWoman visits her boyfriend, Marty James, for some nice relaxing evening of cunnilingus.
She pulls her costume pants down (while leaving on everything else including the mask) and Marty James gets straight to work.
She like 'oooh, ohhh yeah, that hits the spot' when she notices two sets of slurping noises. She looks down and see's the Cock Goblin sucking Marty James' cock!
She's like 'The Cock Goblin! My mortal enemy!'.
Cock Goblin: 'That's right Spiderwoman, and this cock is MINE'.
And the CockGoblin shoots Spiderwoman's hands with this glue stuff that glues her hands to the couch so she can't move. Then takes Marty James onto her hoverboard thing. 'I'd love to stay SpiderWoman but it looks you're a little stuck at the moment!'
And SpiderWoman says 'it's ok, I'm just experiencing some vaginal DISCHARGE' and SpiderWoman shoots spider web from her vagina, tying up Cock Golbin and releasing Marty James.
Cock Goblin: 'Dam you SpiderWoman. I'll get Marty's cock one day!'.
Spiderwoman is like 'Did it ever occur to you that maybe...just maybe...if you found your own cocks, you wouldn't have to STEAL other women's cocks?'
Scene idea 4: Beyonce.
Jay Z has Beyonce bent over a desk and they're doing it doggy style.
Unbeknownst to Jay Z the cockgoblin floats down from the ceiling (mission impossible style) with her legs spread and lands her crotch right into Jay Z's mouth!
Beyonce notices the slurping noise and turns around and see's the cock goblin!
Beyonce :'Aw hell NAW Cock Goblin! That's MY man!' and runs after the cock goblin'
Later, Beyonce makes an angry song directed at the Cock Goblin, and the music video recreates her encounter with the cock goblin that's unflattering to the cock goblin.
Scene Idea 5: Magic Mike.
Magic Mike is doing a strip tease for the Princess of Norway's bachelorette party. When he's naked the cock goblin comes in and start sucking Magic Mike's cock, blocking everyone's view of his cock and ruining the show. The Princess is about to cry.
Luckily Jonnah Hill runs in and tackles the cock Goblin (Magic Mike and 21 Jump Street are in the same universe).
Scene Idea 11: Star Wars
After informing Han Solo and princess she and Luke are siblings, princess Leia finally got to have that sweet sweet Han Solo Cock. As she filled her self up with it, she reacted 'Awwwwgghhh Yeaahhhhhhh, that really hits the spot!'.
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Then, in the corner of the room, from the end of a long table a swivel chair turned around and it was the cock goblin! She ran from the chair and knocked princess Leia off that forcemeat and proceeded to have her pussy hog that Han Solo cock.
Leia got to her feet. she said 'Shoo Cock Goblin, I EARNED that cock!!!'
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Leia then walked over to confront the Cock Goblin, but the Cock Goblin unleashed her light saber and said 'Not until I'm finished, aaahhehehehhehheeeeeeee' and started to really work in hips.
That cock belonged in Princess Leia's pussy. .. . . .It was hopeless for Leia but then she heard her brothers voice 'Use the force. .. . . .'
Princess Leia, after having some trouble, believed in her self and used to force to lift the Cock Goblin off of Han Solo, and throw her out the window. (Star wars theme starts playing here)
She then put Han Solo's cock right back in her pussy, where it belongs. She said 'ahhhhhgh, feels so good to have this cock back up in in here again.'
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Scene Idea 12: Captain Planet
The Cock Goblin was exploring Gaia's Island looking for cock when she found a ring and some instructions.
Later on, Dr. Blight was wiping out forests with a super weed. It was up to the planeteers to stop her!
Kwame: Earth!
Wheeler: Fire!
Linka: Wind!
Gi: Water!
(and before Ma-Ti could said "Heart!")
Cock Golbin: Cock!
All Planeteers: ". . .. . Cock?!??"
And from their ring, Captain Planet emerged from the ring. Except he wasn't wearing his red speedo! (he was still wearing the black belt though) And he totally had a boner that was showing!
Then the Cock Golbin ran up to him and started sucking his cock. Then Gaia came from the sky and threw a shoe at her, scaring her away "Shoo Cock Goblin, that's not what Captain Planet is for"
Gaia then noticed Cock Goblin had her Cock powered ring (which she used for masturbation) and chased after the Cock Goblin to get it back.
Wheeler: "Alright. . .while she's dealing with that, we have to take care of Dr Blight!'
But when the turned around to look at what's going on, Dr. Blight was now sucking on Captain Planet's cock!
All Planeteers: "Captain Planet???"
And Captain Planet just shrugs his shoulders.
Scene Idea 14: X-Men First Class
Mystique had finally seduced Magneto enough to have sex with her by being in her original form. Magneto had just pulled her pants down, exposing his juicy cock, but then the Cock Goblin threw her aside to selfishly take that cock which she absolutely did not earn!
The Cock Goblin had superior mutant powers (or scientific powers (or magical powers) ) and Mystique was no match.
Mystique then transformed into Naked Magneto, with a boner. She walked up to Cock Goblin and waved her boner in Cock Goblin's face. Cock Goblin was confused, but succumbed to her instincts and grabbed Mystique's cock.
Mystique's cock then turned into a hand, which flung her out the window! Now, Mystique was alone to have the cock that she rightfully earned.
Scene Idea 15: Subrina The Teenage Witch
Note, all characters mentioned here at of at least 18 years of age when this story happens.
Subrina was finally about to get at Harvey Kinkle's cock. Her lips were milimeters away from his dick when the Cock Goblin pushed Subrina aside to have Harvey's cock to her self!
She tried to fight off the cock goblin but the cock goblin had been training to fight off other women was was too good. It seemed hopeless for Subrina.
Subrina had an idea. She cast a spell saying "My hips are in need of Harvey's cock, that should be in my lips by the next second on the clock!" and then poof! But she didn't find her self sucking Harvey's cock, but another Subrina was sucking Harvey's cock!
Subrina couldn't tell her aunts so she called Salem who explained that the way she cast the spell, it just made whoever was sucking on Harvey Dent's Cock a copy of Subrina, instead of brining actual Subrina's mouth to Harvey's Cock.
Fortunately Salem knew exactly what to do.
'Great!' said Subrina 'lets reverse the spell' but when they looked over at Harvey, the Cock Golbin/Subrina Clone was gone.
'Where did she go?!?' exclaimed Subriana.
Harvey: "I dunno, I blew my load and she left saying something about needing the next cock'
The next day at School, Libby roughly bumps into Subrina and says 'get your own cock!'
Subrina to Valerie (her best friend): "What was that about?"
Valerie: "Well when Libby was having sex with her boyfriend last night, you picked her up and threw her into the pool! Then you had sex with Libby's boyfriend. Now all the cheerleaders hate you! I'm your best friend Subrina and I would say that's pretty mean of you"
Subrina: "It's the cock Goblin!" (laugh track)
In a few days, the Subrina clone cock gobline has sex with half the boyfriends at Westbridge High, and everyone in school hates her. Fotunately, Salem was able to put a tracking device on the clone. Subrina and Salem look at the rader for her location, and she was in . . . .Aunt Zelda's room!!! Subrina and Salem look at each other with shocked faces.
They rush into Aunt Zelda's bedroom to find Aunt Zelda yelling at the cock Goblin
Aunt Zelda: "Subrina, how could you have sex with my date!"
Then she looks over at Subrina and is like 'two Subrinas?!"
Subrina tell's Aunt Zelda the whole story. By the time they were done they look over at Aunt Zelda's date but the cock goblin was gone!
'Where did she go?!?' they said.
Zelda's Date: "I dunno, I blew my load and she left saying something about needing the homecomming cock'
Subrina: "Homecoming Cock. . . .that's the valuable of all cocks! The cock of the homecoming king at Westbridge High! They're going to announce it at the assembly, which starts in 20 minutes!
They all run to school. They get to the auditorium and they already announced the homecoming king! And Subrina saw the Cock Goblin at the end of the stage. Oh god, is she going to suck the homecoming king's cock in front of the whole school??
Subrina: "Oh no, everyone would see me suck the homecoming's king in front of the whole school"
Subrina rushed to the stage, but it was too late.
To the shock of everyone at the assembly, and to the extreme displeasure to the homecoming Queen, the Subrina Clone had pulled down the homecoming king's pants and was hard at work sucking his cock, in front of the whole school!
But Subrina was already on stage.
Random Crowd Person: 'Wait! There's two Subrinas!!!"
Subrina: "Yes. . . this is my Twin sister, who is visiting from studying abroad in another country, this is their custom there. It wasn't me who fucked all your boyfriends cocks. "
The audience believed her. On the advice of Salem, Subrina threw a shoe to scare off the Cock Goblin, who ran into Zelda, who transformed the cock goblin to her original form.
Subrina learned a lesson about using quick Magic to solve her problems, and everything else went back to normal, and Subrina could finally have sex with Harvey in peace.
it would be interesting to do a cock goblin origin story and find out why she's so skittish, like being able to be shoo'd away so easily. the story would probably be some bbc sexually broken plus hardcore femdom stuff so theres that to work on once GOT ends
Perhaps a girl who was raised by a family of Swipers, who started getting really horny after she became an adult, but wasn't able to tell which cocks are the best so only goes after cocks which are already in demand.
This is produced by Vivid who at the time was trying to make mainstream type porn. They had glamorous looking models and made basically b-movies with lots of sex. Most of their movies were softcore but always funny and with a high production value. Their models even host shows on the E Network.
Damn, so this is just some cheesy nurse sequel? I was hoping they were making movies about current, hotly contested sociopolitical issues and seminal moments in history.
like TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Euthanasia Dilemna
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the TSA
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Great Depression
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Life and Times of Louis XIV
Wonderful art direction. I see they broke out the wallpaper, brick with painting, AND blue window sets for that riveting hallway scene. Even added a thrift store painting for the brick.
Story time. I wrote essays for kids in high school for like 50 bucks. Quick cash for me and most of the time it was only like 3 pages double spaced. One kid I was writing an essay for told me his topic was euthanasia. I heard it as Youth in Asia and although I thought it was weird I just nodded and said okay. That night I did research on the activities of young Asian kids. Finished the essay and printed it for my friend. The look on his face was priceless when I gave him the paper. Deadpan look just asked me "Are you deadass?". I was so confused and asked what the problem is. He looked over the essay and asked why I was writing about Chinese kids. I told him I did exactly what he asked and wrote an essay about Youth in Asia. After explaining that his essay was not about the Youth in Asia and it was on euthanasia I have never laughed so hard in my life. I had to rewrite the essay but I will never forget the time I spent researching the Asian Youth.
TLDR: Wrote essay on Youth in Asia instead of euthanasia.
Not bad...and as someone who is a major fan of the Golden Age of Porn (late 70s/early 80s), most of the movies were story driven. "Gonzo" didn't really become a thing until the 90s. This is half the charm of porn "movies" that have a story. The really bad, campy, weird writing and acting.
And as the character of Jack Horner says in Boogie Nights:
"How do you keep them in the theater after they've come? The beauty and the acting. No, I understand you've got to get 'em in the theater. You know, you've got to get the seats full. But I don't want to make a film where they show up, they sit down, they jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film where the story just sucks them in. And when they spurt out that joy juice, they've got to just sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends."
English is not my first language, but I went to college in the US. During my first English composition class I had to write a paper on Euthanasia, and I wrote it about Youth in Asia. Then the next class everyone was arguing whether Euthanasia was moral or not, and I was completely confused wondering why people were so fucking opposed to Young Asian people.
I'm embarrassed just to remember that I made a lot of similar blunder during that class like when I wrote a paper about death penalty for rappers instead of rapists...
I can't believe I just sat here and watched this whole thing. Give me some "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, so I can DIE medicine" please...
If i read https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test correct this movie would pass the Bechdel Test.
1. There are 2 Women in the Movie.
2. They talk to each other.
3 . They talk about something what is not a men (Euthanasia)
A couple of my buddies went to Cancun Mexicao for spring break. One Asian Jeff One White Danny. The asian guy Jeff is a bit sensitive and he felt out of place being the only non-white in their group of spring breakers who were all Danny's friends.
While sitting at a bonfire on a beach the group of spring breakers began talking about euthanasia. The conversation turned into an arguement of how horrible euthanasia is, while others tried to justify the process. Danny is trying to convince euthanasia isn't the worst. All the while Jeff is quitely sitting at the bonfire feeling out of place.
This arguement goes on forever, until suddenly Jeff stands up and storms off the beach. Danny goes back to the hotel looking for Jeff but everything is gone. Jeff caught the next flight out of Mexico and headed straight back to San Francisco. How he got that flight is a bit murky and a different story, he met a guy who chartered him a plane, kind of suspect.
Anyways, Jeff won't answer Danny's calls for days. He avoids Danny at all costs. Until a few weeks later they're both at my house. Danny couldn't fathom why Jeff would storm off and leave Mexico without notifying anyone. Jeff replies with, I got tired of your racist friends talking about the horrors of youth in Asia. Danny started cracking up, euthansia Jeff! Not Youth! In! Asia!
tldr: The story of one man's thousand mile tantrum after misinterpreting euthanasia as Youth in Asia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually legitimately enjoyed this. Not in a it's so bad way. I love the youth in Asia bit and the "I was born by the snatch and I want to die by the snatch".
The delivery of "They throw rocks at me" is spot-fucking-on
ZSZ77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a video were a man was looking for his stepdaughter and he had a nice suit on. And he was calling her name all over the house then all of a sudden he's standing in a pool with his suit on yelling iggy. I had never had laughed so much.
PORNCEPTION: THEN!, the two bros experiment with homosexuality as they were in college... with the sequel being few years after college, and the bros have gotten married to their own female partners (each bro got a wife). BUT in the sequel they meet up first time in like years and then one of them suggest swinging... but in the middle of the swinging sex, the bros realize they are more into each other then their own wives... which means now they have to determine what to do, leave the wives or never talk about it again?
vin97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they steal the YouthInAsia line from Ali G or was it the other way around?
n3roman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade English, we were having debates about random topics. Our teacher asked us to read up euthanasia for the next class period. About 3/4 of the class thought she literally mean "youth in Asia".
Why would a porn movie start by talking about euthanasia.. not a topic that most people would want to think about in such a setting, and a very emotionally loaded one at that.. Jeesh..
EDIT: the last two sentences are golden though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a beauty pageant where one of the contestants was asked about euthanasia. Her response, on stage, in front of hundreds of people, was the same as this. it was brutal.
My god. This is the first porno I ever saw in my life. I was like 12 years old. Ahh the memories...
Swabia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a category in pornography. Yea, it's a throwback like NAACP, but that's what it's called. The movie was from the 80's based on the bush. I mean hair not G H W Bush.
Second, I didn't know porn could actually have some good dialogue. Do you guys know of any other porn movies that have some quality to it before the sex?
Sounds like my friend when she is drunk. She is currently out of a job too. I know what job to suggest to her now. If she doesn't want to perform, she can just write.
I recently watched Deep Throat and was delighted by how damned funny it was, especially Harry Reems. I was more turned on by how charming and witty he was than with the actual sex in the film!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find myself wanting to watch porn for the script now.
Translation:
Woman: This is the fuse box which makes problem all the time.
Man: Yes yes, but why is straw lying around here?
Woman: Why are you wearing a mask?
Man: So suck my dick.
Found the vid, spent time with the vid, and was really disappointed my man didn't die at the end. He was a funny, cool dude but the story set it up for him to die. You don't just foreshadow something like that then completely blow it off. It completely kills the tension.
8/10
bensawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:43 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit i actually saw the sequel to this in high school.
it had belladonna in it sooooo yeah i dont remember the writing that well.
SubMack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck Leo's oscar this man deserves one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay i'm seeing a lot of links to what people think are the best porn in here... and they're commendable. But I bestow you with the greatest gem i've ever come across...
Really? I use adblocker and it works for me, it's on a pretty sketchy random site, so unfortunately I don't know where else to see it lol. I wanna download it and re upload it
I disagree. It was a good 2-3 minutes and I didn't see any fucking whatsoever. And there was a scene with two chicks and neither of them took their tops off!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:47:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not.. In high school, the teacher brought up euthanasia and a girl in class said. "What's wrong with the youth in Asia?" and we all just sat silently... Poor girl
Saved comment
Sawljah ยท 3091 points ยท Posted at 15:39:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right at the end, when he says "I was born by the snatch and now i want to die by the snatch" the woman is laughing uncontrollably. Award winning performance.
Lowdownsound ยท 2373 points ยท Posted at 18:28:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely lost it at "Only if you have some of that sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever so I can die medicine."
Scumbaggedfriends ยท 347 points ยท Posted at 22:16:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Children?" "They throw rocks at me."
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:53:07 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the line that got me.
Imightbenormal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:58 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/meirl
[deleted] ยท 669 points ยท Posted at 18:45:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The delivery of that line was perfect.
Skyopp ยท 731 points ยท Posted at 19:05:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the guy was not that bad an actor, by porn standards.
[deleted] ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 19:40:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your porn has standards?
BenDisreali ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 19:55:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just like the women I date.
VelvetHorse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pornstars you date have standards?
BenDisreali ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Straight cash homie.
theTANbananas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You date?
BenDisreali ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:59:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not until I feel comfortable bringing them out of the basement.
Toshiba1point0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tough to get those shock collars and electric fences set up just right
guns_money_freedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HEYOO
MyLittlePoneh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oooooh burnnnnn... wait did you just diss yourself?
ColeSloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:23 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same as my cars transmission.
falconfetus8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:52 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. It needs to meet a quota of grammar mistakes before it can be considered porn.
east_village ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:34:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He reminds me of Dennis.
OSUfan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:29 on May 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should do a porn parody of all of Dennis's hidden sex tapes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:31 on May 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd go so far as to say he's actually a decent actor. At least as good as the cast of How I Met Your Mother.
stwjester ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 18:52:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. I was amused before this line, but his delivery was perfect, Someone needs to track down the writer of this porn, I'm sure the original has credits locked away in some shady valley warehouse.
BasedAssadOfSyria ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:59:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if /r/me_irl made porn
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:34 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/me_irl
protoknuckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the one that got me.
Tin_Whiskers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is classic.
WEIGHED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:50 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was a clip of just that part so I could post it to me_irl.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:11 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, I didn't understand that line.
Lowdownsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:04 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a play off of Nyquil's sales slogan.
joshuaoha ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From writing, directing, acting, set design, props, and costumes. Amazing work here.
TheresA_LobsterLoose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:59:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How did you get to the end? I didn't have the patient's
Jaydeepappas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:05:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This ends here
Lasagnahead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing
Tranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Godbless postproduction.
echaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:32 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lost as to how no one has said this yet...
Death by snoo snoo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:29 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Children?" "They throw rocks at me!"
ragingduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:57 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that's not the end. This is the entire scene. NSFW
Willthiswork123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on June 1, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the circle of life
[deleted] ยท 5911 points ยท Posted at 14:51:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well you must have something to live for. Children?"
"They threw rocks at me"
ario93 ยท 1217 points ยท Posted at 15:36:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best line in the entire clip
GregTheMad ยท 481 points ยท Posted at 16:10:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This clip had lots of great lines.
notleonardodicaprio ยท 448 points ยท Posted at 17:03:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the classic youth in Asia joke. I wonder if the youth in Asia would also throw rocks at him like the youth in America.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:19:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A-med-ica
AustinPlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"There's no damn "D" in America!"
toddymac1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too bad it wasn't Asia Carrera playing the nurse, then that patient would've been the youth in Asia..
Ba-DA-dum
Hugh_Jass_Clouds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:14:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing about that joke. I have seen people actually take it that way. My IQ may never recover from that.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thanks for the synopsis, dont have to watch the clip now
[deleted] ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 16:56:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GeneralJabroni ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 18:32:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I like the line after she says that she got someone out of a coma and refused her advances right after being awoken: "men... just 'cause their conscious doesn't mean they're conscientious"
smegma_legs ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:07:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was actually surprisingly witty
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:21 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But in that case, the delivery made it just a line.
hosinthishouse ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:45:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Volcacius ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you are being down voted. that is exactly what she says in the video.
hosinthishouse ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:12:39 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? People are weird...
socium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:26 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if the genders were reversed.
yaosio ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:54:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's expected in porn, everybody is trying to fuck everybody else.
SchmegmaKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:35 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't try to imagine it, live it. Be the change, feel the bern, just do it, be a hero!
ario93 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:10:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did hear it and I loved it too, but that line seemed kind of forced and less authentic. The kids throwing rocks at him was so organic, out of nowhere and delivery timing was perfect. So good
revampire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:08 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by snu snu
setfire3 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 16:50:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck, i just got the joke reading this.
IT'S NOT HIS CHILDREN THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT
AS14K ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:28:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it ๐
setfire3 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
refer to his previous line for a hint
MyRoomAteMyRoomMate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:26:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still don't get it...
justduck01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:37:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I think he just means children in general throw rocks at him because he's single and doesn't have any kids.
MyRoomAteMyRoomMate ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:43:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then I did get it after all..
justduck01 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:47:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I don't think it was that funny or groundbreaking, unless there's still something we both missed.
gologologolo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it
DerajtheOrc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:32:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched it, still dont get it
justin_tino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it is... They threw rocks at him, it was an easy dismissal for that being a reason for him to live.
DatNewbChemist ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 16:15:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually laughed at that line. Even his delivery of it was spot on.
NegativeKarmaSniifer ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 17:09:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Delivery was impeccable. Never seen acting this good in porn.
___ok ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:34:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah usually it's just simulated.
Feegert ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 18:12:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs an Oscar.
no_talent_ass_clown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yes, like an award for writing or something.
Edit: As in the point of the thread....
Feegert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:37:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come on you gotta give the guy props on that delivery! But you're right, the writer made the magic happen.
UltravioIence ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:34:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin bottle kids!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:03:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this was mis-casted, that should have been ryan reynolds. That scene is the Deadpool prequel.
hoorayforcats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really can't decide what my favourite line is.
SunriseSurprise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Airplane!-esque right there.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"throw," not "threw."
Jesus, it's like people on Reddit try to butcher every quote every time. You literally just watched this and you instantly got the quote wrong. What is with you people?
BigGreekMike ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll never understand how common misquotes are on videos people just watched
zickeli7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the feels!
accidentalprancingmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me_irl
kontankarite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed real hard.
ConbatBeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All it needed was a laugh track and it would've been perfect
mybaretibbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better writing than the 4th Season of Arrested...kill me :(
[deleted] ยท 2166 points ยท Posted at 15:28:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've always thought the guy in this video looks like Dennis from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
hobbitfeets ยท 951 points ยท Posted at 16:13:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"d-does my dick work?"
"No, Mr. Reynolds, your penis does not work."
"killl meeee"
DickmanComedy ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 17:40:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dickless Dennis
hobbitfeets ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 18:10:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"looks like a chicken pot pie down there"
aa24577 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 19:02:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haHAAAAAA, you guys! That's funny but it doesn't apply! Because my dick totally went back to normal down there, I'll show it to you
ziggmuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna see your dick.
i_smoke_php ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahaa! Dickless Dennis! But it doesn't applyyyy!
LtCthulhu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keg blew up and blew Dennis's dick off
Sugreev2001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bet he learned his moves from Dr. Mantis Toboggan.
hobbitfeets ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:51:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I offer you an egg in this trying time?"
SurpriseDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
intro music
JelliedHam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Gang Shoots a Porno
okungnyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was a scene like that actually in the show?
hobbitfeets ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it was in Dennis' daydream in The Gang Saves the Day, but yes
devosion ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 17:36:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can also picture Dennis saying, "I was born by the snatch, and I'll die by the snatch."
WrittenSarcasm ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 18:13:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the golden god
StatmanIbrahimovic ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 18:22:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a FIVE STAR MAN
devosion ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 18:25:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS!
Everybodygetslaid69 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:38:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IDIOTS! SAVAGES! IDIOTS! IDIOTS!
TacoPrince ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not burning the duster.
DisterDan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:33 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I DON'T KNOW, FETISH SHIT!
ziggmuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
EVERYBODY GRAB A WEAPON!
hobbitfeets ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:07:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I'm talkin to myself, but... that's just cause I got shit to say
LassieBeth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:40:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright alright aiiiight
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:14:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I WILL COME DOWN ON THIS HOSPITAL LIKE THE HAMMER OF THOR!
atworkbeincovert ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LEARN HOW TO DRIVE YOU COW
bigbrohypno ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:15:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you rating me?!
okungnyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is line from Almost Famous, right?
WrittenSarcasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis says it in the high school reunion episode. Haven't seen almost famous.
Nisuta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:40:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A woman's mouth is not for the the exiting of words, but for the entrance of a man's.... dick." Link to scene
berober04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dennis dies by the snatch"
superfudge73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FETISH SHIT!
random012345 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:42:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The entire scene seemed like something out of one of their Lethal Weapons.
IDrinkUrMilksteak ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:20:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Full penetration...
hobbitfeets ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:08:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah, not enough blackface. and they didn't make the lips funny
beyond_alive ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:34:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I 100% thought it was him until I read your comment
GregTheMad ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:11:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So ... you've seen this video somewhere else before?
yzlautum ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:24:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is a popular Youtube video.
gillandgolly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That guy is a very prolific pornographic actor. I believe he goes by the name Joel Lawrence.
I recognized him from a couple of dozen times I have seen him fucking barely legal teens in the butt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or maybe a porn actor appears in more than one movie
Ghostything ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:17:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dennis Does A Porno"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:57:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting this to be the top comment, looks just like him. Even sounds a little like him.
IDrinkUrMilksteak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:21:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She'll probably end up sleeping with him, you know, because of the implication...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The Gang Gets Banged"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:27 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How have they not used that title already?
2EJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, is it not!?
buffbodhotrod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the same thing.
VladimirPootietang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ive thought this ever since I saw this guy in porn WAY back
BigPackHater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is a power bottom though, so it makes sense
Mrhandyhorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing
Brompton_Cocktail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like Thomas Muller from Bayern Munich
MrMeeeseeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:37 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rob, if you're watching this, hire that man for an episode titled "Dennis and Sweet Dee meet their real dad." That guys looks like he could be Dennis' biological dad.
IIdsandsII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:36 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
even sounds like him
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:21 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan Stiles!
cltlz3n ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:57:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shaw-Deez ยท 10269 points ยท Posted at 14:36:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was born by the snatch, and I want to die by the snatch!
That's hardcore.
Osiris32 ยท 2637 points ยท Posted at 15:34:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the best line ever delivered in porn.
Except maybe that old man saying he's a virgin.
PM_ur_Rump ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 18:24:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My vote goes to the first porn I ever saw. Some old vhs tape.
Hostage situation. Girl holding another hostage, naked. Cops bust in and a struggle ensues. Guy cop suddenly stops and says "Wait! Let's all just fuck!" The girls ask why.
"Because it's a porno!"
bowchickawowow
Demokirby ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 19:26:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We need more 4th wall breaking in our porno's.
Banakai1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:40:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Deadpool porn parody when?
hunthell ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:19:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But his face looks like a burnt scrotum
Banakai1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:02:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my fetish
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It looks like an avocado had sex with an older, more disgusting avocado."
whisker_mistytits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember the movie, or who the gals were (maybe one was Christy Canyon?) but I'm 100% sure the guy in this scene was Joey Silvera.
PM_ur_Rump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:36 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I know is that it had to be in like, 1994 when I saw this. Seem like the right era? No idea how old it was at the time, and I'm no expert on fine vintage smut.
whisker_mistytits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:35 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I came of age around the same time as you, and this was also one of the first pornos I ever saw. I'm 99% sure it was produced sometime in the latter half of the 1980s.
In the course of collecting golden age porn, I rediscovered the film that this scene comes from. That's why I'm certain that the guy is Joey Silvera. I'm also pretty sure that I have it in my collection, but that's large and poorly organized.
It's a great scene, and now I HAVE to find it. Will advise.
PM_ur_Rump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:25 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, keep me in the loop!
fohacidal ยท 2237 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you haven't seen "but I poop from there!" "not today you don't"
GregTheMad ยท 985 points ยท Posted at 16:08:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still like "Who are you?" "I'm the cook."
Jacksonteague ยท 736 points ยท Posted at 16:11:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My faves are "Lemon Stealing Whore" and "chicks love cum, and the love cum on pianos!"
HelloMyNameIsChivers ยท 1474 points ยท Posted at 17:13:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite will always be from the first one I ever watched. Cheerleader was sucking the nerd's dick while he gave her advice on her science homework: "Well, here's part of your problem. You spelled 'paramecium' with a 6. That's... Actually that's kind of retarded."
joos1986 ยท 588 points ยท Posted at 18:09:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. That line. I usually expect laughter from the other party when I have my penis out.
027915 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 19:01:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww. :(
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 19:31:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually the girls response when I whip my dick out.
[deleted] ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 19:43:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't usually get a response...just quiet, weary resignation as the joy drifts away from her eyes.
ausmomo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:35:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean "life", right?
brokenseattle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about if she whips hers out?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
length?
joos1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like 6.75" (notice how I was casual with the 'like' but I totally managed to get it down to a 1/4"?)
It hasn't gotten laughed at yet, but then it's also kinda like bigfoot. Not just big and hairy, but also only gets seen only every once so often (and you'll only find shitty blurry pictures online).
Slightly related, the last woman I got a little handsy with and this is after a massive dry spell, kept giggling and laughing while necking. Says she's just really ticklish. If this goes further, I might be able to report back with getting my dick laughed at. As you can imagine I'm totally looking forward to this possibility. So fingers x'd huh?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
17 cm? What the fuck, how is that small?
mighty_mango_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that line is stolen from a Simpsons episode...
In before Simpsons did it!
Tofuboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant scene from 1996. Yeah, Simpsons did it.
JohnQAnon ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 17:29:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
HelloMyNameIsChivers ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 17:36:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Took me some searching but I found it. Someone sent it to me when they found out I had never watched porn, and they said, "Boy, do I have one for you."
djsubroc ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 18:11:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10/10 forgot i was even watching a porno I got too into the dialogue
rx-bandit ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 18:25:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iactuallydowatchitfortheplot
heilspawn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:52:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
/r/pornoplots
GoodGuyLiar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:38:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/porn_plots*
heilspawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
swats away
lnickelly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:22:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
at a friends house browsing reddit, came across this comment thread, buddy walks in on me watching porn.
theswerto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:36:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should watch the vivid star wars parody.
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:01:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better Quality
notes_for_dalia ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:14:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just found a new pastime. Funny porn dialogue is underrated!
VladimirPootietang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
im sure theres a subreddit
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/pornplots
Insanefoo ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 18:24:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahahaha holy shit this video starts and is immediately hilarious. This guy's acting is way too good for porn.
toorooluu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:33:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is a pretty cool guy in general, he does AMA'S from time to time and they are always good.
djsubroc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does he have his ears gauged? looks like he put clear spacers in so he could look more like a nerd. I love his acting , I got second hand embarrassment cause I thought he was gonna be a bad fuck then I remembered I was watching a professional porno.
iCeCoCaCoLa64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:41 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's his name?
iCeCoCaCoLa64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on May 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is his name?
toorooluu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:17 on May 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dane Cross
SLeazyPolarBear ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 19:31:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he goes from complete oblivious nerd, to throat fucking savage, within minutes.
DersTheChamp ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:47:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He realized his true calling in those moments
VladimirPootietang ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:46:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He became who he was meant to be all along. Beautiful character arc
mastah-yoda ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:36:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A free lunch is always found in mice traps."
That's a nice life lesson, writing that down...
Riddlemc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bet you never thought you'd be taking life advice from porn.
mastah-yoda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mom knocks, enters
"Son! What are you doing?! You're watching pornographic videos?"
"No mom, I'm learning life lessons!"
ugotamesij ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that why they have the comments section, so viewers can discuss the life lessons dished out by the protagonists?
Moruitelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Van, I don't have a pen
jamiejamiewilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Swear that dude says there was zerg there last time he got a bj. Zerg?!
Metiri ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:10:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cum in this book"
Worth the watch.
VladimirPootietang ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:49:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was actually more offended that he came in the book than if he had on her face.
Me_Tarzan_You_Gains ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No not in the book! What the fuck is wrong with these savages?
Melancholia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That poor book!
hazie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:51:03 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Do you like it when I slap your warlock cock on my face?" "Ohhhhhhh......don't say that."
"Oh yeah, fuck me like a nerdy little slut! Take me to Planet Bespin!"
"I'd really like to explore your Cave of Gorin." "You mean you want to fuck my pussy?" "That works too."
fatlizardgoth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:27:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came for the tits, stayed for the storyline.
fit4130 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:15:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It happens around 2:50.
And here's the non-mobile link.
he-said-youd-call ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, can some pre-Disney Star Wars dork come over here and tell us if Lando actually had any super geniuses advising him in Cloud City?
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That seems like an interesting story.
Do you now do it or did you just do the one?
Graham_R_Nahtsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.
iamjakt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mind if I save this link, thanks.
skylitfear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Commenting for science
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At the 3:00 minute mark for those who are interested.
Moruitelda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be in my bunk
LMGgp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:45 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will watch later
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:59 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone thought this was a great idea. That's kind of retarded.
SerenadingSiren ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He belongs in r/verysmart
I_banged_Rosa_Parks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/mchniu8b1iM
relayrider ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:50:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ya like that ya fuckin' retard?
iamjakt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:14:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that line. Also this bit.
relayrider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
droopy dog
ElCompanjero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lean back and touch the beanbag!
-SPIRITUAL-GANGSTER- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
iamjakt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:48 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"YA FUCK YA RIGHT ON HELL YA."
The_Duckster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:55:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely lost it at, "They're snaps, actually..."
RancidLemons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for funny moments in porn?
mrmoe198 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha! Sauce good buddy?
puffthemagicdragoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite still has to be imagine Brock lesner with an increased iq of twelve and the voice of the hulk quietly yelling "DROPPPPPIN LOADS!!" when he finishes I had to stop
Clever-Username2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, now I need to hunt down a porn from about a decade ago. Maybe reddit can help.
There was a dude playing Flight of the Bumble Bee on a baby-grand piano while a chick was shoving a baseball bat into her ass. It was one of the weirdest, funniest things I've ever seen.
GrewpieDoll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was it Dane Cross? That sounds like Dane Cross.
Chronoblivion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not my first porn, but I think the first to make me laugh. I don't remember why there were two guys, but the girl was "the babysitter." She's going to town sucking off one guy, and the other waves his dick in her face and says "now, don't neglect mine." Something about his tone made it hilarious. Friends and I occasionally used that line for a few years (for example, if someone was refilling everyone's cup from a pitcher).
Moikle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah mate, "Is this YOUR bike?" "no no no sir" "yes yes yes girl" and "Suck a cock!"
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:41 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked the sound effect when his pants come down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:57 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I need a source for that. That sounds amazing.
DukedeBois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wizards key from the dragons heart. :)
Emay75 ยท 368 points ยท Posted at 16:49:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All these quotes and no links... Wtf Reddit
[deleted] ยท 412 points ยท Posted at 18:49:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 19:09:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're forgetting one very important gem: How are you to pay here for?!
Oh my god... It's the same guy from "No, don't do it, I'm a virgin!"
Pickled_Kagura ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:50:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His "dat ass" face is hilarious.
jgo3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:02:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, "You're not a real doctor!"
thefonztm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He ain't a virgin no more.
Hi_im_from_uranus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:20:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck wants to watch a porn with an old man?
Norway_Master_Race ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:39:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
old men
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:26:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, who doesn't love Sikke talking dirty in his weird half-Dutch English?
You have to like it. Fun fact: that's also a quote from one of his videos
doppel66 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:48:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From now on I'll refer to my bicycle as "him".
NickPickle05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha! That delivery was perfect!
Demokirby ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:22:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The i'm a virgin one feels like they mixed up the dialogue on that one lol.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last two links are the same.
rymden_viking ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 19:02:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go. I'm a virgin (NSFW)
I think this is what he's looking for at least.
MrAppleSpiceMan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:01:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can we have full length movies directed like "I'm the cook"?
SyrioForel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:05:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like this?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105690/combined
DiaDeLosMuertos ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 'I'm a virgin' did they accidentally reverse the scripts?
Aggressive_Reposter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:02:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, can I tag one on there? Without hyping it up too much, it's the best thing I have ever seen:
http://www.youporn.com/watch/8311905/Party_gets_hot_and_sexual____Visual_Images (NSFW, obvs)
VladimirPootietang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was great
tearyouapart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:56:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Steven seagal is a cook? I knew those moves worked
Eloykwik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:36:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cook one is definitely referencing the Steven Seagal in Under Siege
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time stamp on "I poop from there"? I don't have 8 sessions to spend on that 17 minute clip
kblkbl165 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:30:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
13:14
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you kindly :)
SerenadingSiren ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:54:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/NLYzj7fwS1E
StevenFa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:26:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice easter egg in there, buddy
DasWyt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"what do I look like?" - "a lonely man" holy shit I'm dying
skynet2013 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6teJKyk2ihc
"My faith is all mine...... but the rest of me......... is yours"
theyareamongus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:37 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there
Lovingfaces ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dudes just got them on hand. Lol
SerenadingSiren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing
Fumane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gild this man
clubswithseals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lolol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just found another great one: the long con.
doppel66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Being a porn actor does sound like a lot of fun. Because of the plots of course. *cough
LinT5292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how you only tagged one of these at NSFW.
NickPickle05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What time does she say the line in the second one?
monkey4love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:19 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are doing God's work
CleanGenitals ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 17:49:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm Skeletor!"
justanotherepic ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 18:22:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god that was fucking amazingly bad
Morningxafter ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 19:27:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/pTCEfJn.png
SLeazyPolarBear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:35:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody please pause and snapshot the single frame somewhere between 2-3 seconds in??
Edit: nevermind, its nothing interesting, just a frame from another part of the video.
Hi_im_from_uranus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:21:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thank mr. skeltor
plazmablu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit did I just have a stroke what is this
ShitsInSinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am the WIZ- And nobody beats me!!!
FourZoko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:48 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That movie looks pretty greasy.
sgtpepper901 ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:33:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whhaaaat? No money? Here! Suck a cock!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:06:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was the best.
The Dutch exchange students at my college showed it to me a couple years ago, apparently it's a common joke in the Netherlands
sgtpepper901 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every single time I say "Whhaaaat?" My friend goes "No mahney?" In such a thick accent.
caliform ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, my favorite.
Is this JOER bike?
Swabia ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 18:24:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was a tranny movie where a guy gets the girls pants off and finds out there's more than he bargained for.
"Hey, you're not a real blonde!"
ActualKrillin ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 18:53:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
watch the language there bud
BoneFistOP ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:22:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Krillin.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 20:01:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ElCompanjero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats bullshit. Its just short for transexual or transgender. Its only derisive in bad context.
hairyhank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
QQ
Pickled_Kagura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it was a how-to on transmission repair.
astupidho ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
reddit really hates that being pointed out, for some reason.
nolotusnotes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:13:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Not today, you don't."
SacredShmoke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:35:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't a beach, it's a bathtub!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was coming here to post this. There's no contest. This is the all-time champ.
tonufan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How can you say you love her if you can't even eat her poop?"
SouthTippBass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, this is a fuckin cheese pizza, I asked for a pizza with everything on it!"
Pizza delivery boy proceeds to jizz on a slice of pizza and feed it to her.
postbroadcast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's cum on the piano from? I only know that as a lyric: https://youtu.be/F_aDAKlaEOw?t=46s
Jacksonteague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:49 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She finished him off next to the piano and he came on the keys, and had her licked it off the keys
d1rron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw one with the line "Suck that cock for Jesus!"
It was a televangelist themed porno that someone showed me. I probably laughed for a solid 20 minutes.
fromthesaveroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think one of those might be a quote from the end of "The Happening".
Fanatical_Pragmatist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the lemon stealing whores thing. The "im the cook" one was funnyish, but I just didnt get the lemon thing.
thisxisxlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must have missed "Im not really a wolf, I'm actually Skeletor!!" proceeds to pull off fake wolf mask to reveal fake skull mask
muzakx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:34 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What I want to know is, where's the cum?"
monkeybrain3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:23:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the weirdest most hilarious video I've ever seen. The only wya it'd have been better if it was actually Steven.
MyUserNameTaken ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:50:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that Under Seige?
wildmoosespirit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:11:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The recent one i liked was "I'm not at the beach, this is a bathtub." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLYzj7fwS1E&feature=youtu.be
VladimirPootietang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed hard at that for some reason
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone have the gif of this? I love the karate shit that goes on beforehand.
VladimirPootietang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/hJaV4Mh
Zywakem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is this, Hunt for Red October?
BleedingThumbsMurphy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm very disappointed with myself that I understand this reference.
detroitvelvetslim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or the ever classic "I'm not the big bad wolf, I'm skeletor!"
ASYMBOLDEN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sanji?
peasant_ascending ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 18:25:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "not right now, you don't"
Benjaphar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:19 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand people who botch quotes like this.
CryoftheBanshee ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:16:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember much about it, but I remember one that starts with an electrician checking on a woman's fuse box. They acknowledged that the fuse box was broken, that there was inexplicably hay all over the floor, and that the electrician was wearing something odd, all wrapped up by the woman saying "why don't I just take off your pants?"
All in a matter of ten seconds
2xCmet ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 18:54:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the Part where He asks: why is here so much hay? Or sth like that. Here is the Video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=19K3EhUln4k
kekstee ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, that's the fuse box we're always having problems with. If you could take a look at it..."
"And why are you wearing a mask?"
CryoftheBanshee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:16:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did. But thank you for finding it!
GarbageCanDump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"well then blow me"
LenaFare ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this one! It was in German, right?
LifeguardLizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you're thinking about this german masterpiece:
warum liegt hier รผberhaupt stroh?
jackryan006 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 17:20:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is only smellz.
AtticusLynch ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:08:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why you heff to be mad?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:17:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not right now you dont.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:19:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Not right now, you don't"
unafraidrabbit ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:44:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a joke about anal to my first girlfriend in high school not actually asking for it. She looked at me in horror and said "But there's poo in there!!!"
fohacidal ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:11:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude thats so cool tell me more
wuhkay ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok! So we were hanging out after school and her parents were gone for the evening. Things got a bit, you know, but it was getting late and she didn't want to be caught by her parents, so we ended up hanging out and talking. We talked about sex things that we might want to try. The conversation went to anal and that's when I asked her.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:52:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AutumnCrystal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:27:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I said ok it goes a little like this and SHE said"oh! That's very uncomfortable! " and I said but it's downright painful for me but I'll do it because I love you hold still now
wuhkay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:44:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm.
charlietango13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least she told them both no.
Mountin-man46 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oops that was my alt
wolfdarrigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:48 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, it was the same girl.
Tanked_Goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:17 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same girl though
PerpetualYawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, you're not the guy!
OrdyHartet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:35:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right the old "check-how-they-react-to-the-joke-to-gauge-viability-of-anal" routine. Works just about every time half the time.
stretchpun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:59:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually, "Not right now you don't" ... Uhh, what I meant was, what are you talking about?
SidNhis1911 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:05:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly I must has. Where can I find this scene?
dartsman ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:11:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://butipoopfromthere.ytmnd.com
Ryan_Wilson ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:20:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively: http://superpoop.ytmnd.com/
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:09:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Internet
weed4lyfes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source?
Rocket_McGrain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Melissa Ashley aka Anne Howe. One of my true favorites even after so many years.
ladymoonshyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's in the same one that he puts the girl in the chair and says "if your feet touch the floor your old enough". Ugh
GEARHEADGus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only smells.
Keytrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://butipoopfromthere.ytmnd.com/
curious_umbrella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha amazing
MoonlitDrive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can we ask for a source in this sub?
2manycooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*not right now ya don't
I_can_pun_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It only smellz
BigMcLargeHuge13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
philmcracken27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THAT'S good writing.
ChickenCopII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Riiiiiight..."
guyver_dio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly you haven't been shown one smoker
evilmonkey00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or this isn't the beach, its a bath tub.
Condomonium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How has no one posted this yet... It's the best of the worst.
https://youtu.be/BuoaGPlWr-4
Toastalicious_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's only smells"
KingHavana ยท 247 points ยท Posted at 18:09:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was with Ron Jeremy fucking a girl in a flower costume: "I haven't had sex with a vegetable since I worked at that nursing home."
027915 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 19:02:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a greasy hedgehog
D3Construct ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 17:18:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm about to bestow upon you the wisdom of the ultimate porn line (sfw).
https://youtu.be/1oatH_gOQOk?t=1m49s
Cthulhu__ ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 17:44:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How to pay herefor?
D3Construct ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 18:21:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat?! No munnie?
WorldCop ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:18:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes yes girl!
doobied ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:11:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suck a cock!
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come here! And suck it!
Strive_for_Altruism ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:36:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ask no monies! :(
joos1986 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:12:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This looks like the 'I'm a virgin guy' haha
These are real porns right? Not just sketches?
Hilariously bad, but porn storylines are hilariously bad. Could go either way.
Hostillius ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 19:16:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
He was from the Netherlands, we called him Fietsopa (bicycle grandpa) because of his famous bycicle repair porno. You can find more of his videos when you search for Sikke van der Veer, that's his real name
Edit: for those who are really curious and don't mind skipping some nasty shit to look at the fun scenes: http://www.fietsopa.nl/ Click videos to see all of his masterpieces
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:13:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, he was an actual porn actor, he passed away a few years ago. He made all his videos himself I think. RIP Bicycle Grandpa.
Hostillius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:38 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He did an interview with some guy on skype, he was just bored because he was retired or something and started to fuck hookers and make videos
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:26:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's it, Bicycle Grandpa will be the username for every account I have from now on
BATISTAS-DICK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP :(
caliform ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor guy died a few years ago. :(
Hostillius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:44 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, I still miss him and his videos
Ladathion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:50:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its the same guy
markk116 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:28:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fietsopa rulls over all.
pian0keys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like the 80s cable access version of Game of Thrones.
ritschi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:24:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's NSFW
D3Construct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully it doesn't include the parts afterward that were truly nsfw.
ritschi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed
zeelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow reminds me of this shit (NSFW):
http://efukt.com/21052_Czech_porn_is_hilariously_horrible.html#
Watch from about 01.20. "Eyyyyy! What is! Green garnish!"
Wang_Edge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hier, suck a cock
disrespectfulcyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works on bikes, this is horribly laughable attempt at fixing a bike.
tyranid1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Tywin Lannister?
hand_sex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm proud to say I've choked to the chicken to this video at least once.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:55 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
suck a cock
FkIForgotMyPassword ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 16:52:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In France, we have that famous line from a porn from the early 80ies, which is a guy in a suit touching his crotch through his pants, while an half naked girl in lingerie strips for him. He says, with a really monotonic voice, something like:
"Right now I'd bet you're already picturing yourself sucking my dick in sync with my balls whipping on your face."
Classic.
NSFW Link
[deleted] ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 19:21:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 21:02:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was the most efficient porn I have ever watched.
VladimirPootietang ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:59:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the way they trudge into the shot, like they arent at all excited about what theyre about to do.
plarah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:37:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, a German friend of mine told me about this scene a year ago, and I was just going to mention it. He said probably every German, Austrian and Swiss guy 25 +/- 5 years old knows about this.
KToff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:52:56 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is the almost palpable sense of relief of the actress when they can finally move to familiar territory :-D
0xF013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's on the "you're a big guy" level
losangelesvideoguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:35 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then he fixes the cable?
Giygas77 ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 16:57:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I should've learned French. That wasn't funny at all:(
Goddamn_Batman ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 17:01:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it sounded pretty classy though
HippieSpider ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:33:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is super classy, I have to wonder if that's actually from a porno or from some kind of horrible B-movie, because that guy speaks like a man.
hoilst ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:58:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's from a country that worships Jerry Lewis.
TaipanTacos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHO?
MIKE JONES
YouWant500Dolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best part of Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson is when he is flipping through the stations and Jerry Lewis is on everyone. So in disgust he goes outside for a walk.
Which is a pretty good plot advancement mechanism. I can see a room of writers sitting around a desk using it for anything,
"...so the guy decides to murder the President of France? Why?"
"How about...because he is trying to watch TV, but Jerry Lewis is on every station?"
"Brilliant!"
"Why does the guy want to get back with his girlfriend? Because he was trying to watch TV, but Jerry Lewis was on every station, which is a hell much worse than living with a woman."
"Why was the guy pan-handling door-to-door? Because Jerry Lewis was on every station, and he need alcohol to numb the pain, and a beer is about tree-fiddy"
nonofax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know french and it is hilarious
fulthrottlejazzhands ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:41:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a bilingual English and French speaker, that's hilarious. There's just something so deadpan about the delivery, like he's reading stereo instructions.
JohnLaCuenta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:24:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The whole scene is amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDGveJYmL-Q
That last line is a classic as well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alpha-france <3 ! Best porncompany in history! I have all their flicks :P
stanhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'est รฉnorme. C'est bien รฉcrit et bien jouรฉ (mรชme si doublรฉ)!
please_help_me____ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
T'es pas sur /r/france, parles en anglais!
A_Math_Debater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I wish I was bilingual. I only speak French.
Asshai ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How sweetly poetic. This is the Audiard of the porn industry.
abraxsis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure that guy was just trying to sell her life insurance.
strip_sack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
NotGloomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:34 on June 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that voice.
hackermaster900 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finally porn I can relate to, link?
JamesOfDoom ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 17:38:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SFW https://youtu.be/xr2_gtHCGBM
cookehMonstah ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, this guy is kind of a national hero in the Netherlands, he sadly passed away not too long ago. Remarkable acting.
Another clip, arguably his best work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TEKU_f4bGc
RocketCow ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:21:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sikke van der Veer is my hero
Another good clip:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHdke9yHeEg
VladimirPootietang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:05:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dont say to your mother you have seen this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpYk8CME-TQ
shhhtupot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
saw this on efukt a while back. emergency!
VladimirPootietang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here.. SUK A COK!
NickPickle05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Netherlands you say? That makes me think of the hydraulic press guy. "This pussy Is very dangerous and may at-tack at any time. We must "deal with it."
cookehMonstah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:12 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thought he is from Finland? He doesn't sound Dutch either.
PolioKitty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:14:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MFW
-Googlrr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:52:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have an interesting idea of what is safe to watch at work
Vamp1r3lla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:27 on June 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=7ca075a7dfdcaaef7720
OGWopFro ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:04:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone else think this old man looks kind of like Dennis? "I'm a five star man!!!"
bout2cum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:40 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
came here searching for this
Musefan58867 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:20:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is the classic "Old and Young" intro, just because of how broken the English is.
"How to pay here for?"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:30:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I beg to differ. The best line ever is from the Hedgehog himself as he was about to have sex with a lucky lady and a "twin" brother assisting, "Double your pleasure, double your fun. Take one in the pussy and one in the bun!".
renotime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So what does your boyfriend do?"
"He's an actor."
"Oh yeah? What restaurant does he work at?"
soulviver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i dunno when i was 14 me and some buddies snuck into the burbank theater in san jose (google it). and this dude said I wanna put my burrito in your taco and shoot hot sauce all over your face. its been 30 years. i still think about that line all the time hah
Snake-N-Roses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm here to fix the cable
Stenen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that "what the fuck" from the lemon stealing whores porn is up there too
Smalls_Biggie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fixed that for ya
Osiris32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's reserved for "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
Smalls_Biggie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man, this is a serious contender. This line may change the course of history.
dalovindj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always liked 'You're getting your cock sucked, kid." from Private Teacher.
betterthanthou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I beg to differ.
It gets bigger when I pull on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"HEY WHAT THE FUCK"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still 100% for "I'm Dr. Andre No-dick... what are you doing in my metrosexual apartment?"
HoneyBucketsOfOats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about NOW I'M IN YOUR ASS YEAH
Douche_Kayak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear they got an award for best writing
poduszkowiec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:19 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, the best one is "I'M SKELETOR, HAR HAR HAR!".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqn_z9PDUwM
COCK_MURDER ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:36:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha my friend Gluckpungle Mortilengula actually helped write this scene. Guy has an MA in English from Berkeley LOL
Post_Tenebras_Lux ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:21:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked one so much that I put it as a sample in one of my bands records.
"I like those things right there."
"These?"
"Yeah, Those big old....... Chunga-Wungas."
sixtyshilling ยท 446 points ยท Posted at 15:02:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must have improvised that line, because you can see the actress start cracking up when he says that.
makesyoudownvote ยท 369 points ยท Posted at 16:27:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it was a scripted line, it would be really hard not to laugh at that line.
Rathoff_Caen ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:54:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine being the cue card holder?
samwisegamgeesus ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 17:56:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better laminate those cards
Pickled_Kagura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://gfycat.com/ExcitableLeafyFritillarybutterfly
schindlerslisp ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:00:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that line was integral to the plot. no way she ends up sitting on his face without that line. it wasn't improvised.
Drachefly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I thought that she'd try to give him something to live for.
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 16:30:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RequiredPsycho ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:16:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They call it corpsing? First place I saw it was while watching Carol Burnett's skit show as a kid. Always cracked me up.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:56:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Drachefly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:32:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, for THIS scene you'd better say 'corpsing'. Otherwise, either's good.
hird ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:13:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you notice how she laughs when he says that line? lol
[deleted] ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 15:50:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RocketCow ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 18:23:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Overload 2
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:01:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thratty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youre incredible babe. I love you.
Limitedcomments ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow..
Mangan418 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong sub, bro. For Hearthstone go back to gaming and then turn left.
Electrorocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect! 5/7!
originalusername__ ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:24:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scruffy gonna die the way he lived.
belchium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take my breath away!
Parkmayn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:14:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die by the snatch.
ThunderMountain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come up here and sit on my face and take my breath away!
the-glimmer-man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:22:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are born of the snatch, made men by the snatch, undone by the snatch.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
gologologolo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:01:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can notice the nurse shivering and laughing at that line.
devosion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:34:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well pilgim, I can tell ye I was born by dah snatch, and I'll die by dah snatch.
wrongtester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Apocalypse Now level
bacon_strip_grundle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We need this to be a campaign slogan this November. 'Murica!!
lanternsinthesky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it sad that i knew what movie it was simply because i read this?
Sportsfanno1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shnu-Shnu is a real thing
xanatos451 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought I'd die this way, but I'd hoped!
eddiejugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now sit on my face and take my breath away!
pdmcmahon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a power move.
Gustavchiggins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's dad had audio cassettes with just the porno sounds on them. One of the lines we still jokingly use today was, "Stop talking and start sucking."
Side note not sue if these cassettes were an actual things or something he made. Any input?
FergleWergle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how the 'nurse' is laughing as he says it, maybe it was improv?
titsnass01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smellyporn
IntelligentNickname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how she's giggling at that line, just that we can't see it.
QuietLittleVoice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you can see her visibly laughing while he is saying it
aNightOwll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the actress trying really hard not to laugh when he says it
Huitzilopostlian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet they at least filed for the rights to use Berlin's song, even if it was a really long shot.
Badazd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched the video and just knew that this would be the top comment...
daftne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I liked "what do I have to live for, my health?"
hendawg98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Made me think of Ash Wednesday in churches. "From ash you come and to smash you shall return"
"From the snatch you come and to the snatch you shall return"
imares ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by SnuSnu
yoloruinslives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
we are born by the cunt. made men by the cunt. undone by the cunt.
gargensis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since English is not my first language, I have to ask. What does that line mean?
the_tip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snatch is a slang term for Vagina or Pussy
kaz3e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna wrap your legs around my head and wear you like the crown you are.
therealpeej3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sit on my face and take my breath away"
No lie I'd be fine with dying if a woman that hot (no not that pornstar) sat on my face.
Here lies Therealpeej3, a really hot girl sat on his face and he dead.
motorhead84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to go out the same way I came in.
croationsensation7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The build up was great
thenewnoise09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So why don't you come sit on my face, and take my breath away!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using that.
I may lose friends, but I'm using that.
tatertot255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at that line, and I can't find it :(
FourAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best part is watching her trying not to laugh while he says it, even facing away you can tell.
xcatmanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this was a gay porn, he would say "I came from the dick, so I want to die by the dick. Come at me!"
HiaItsPeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on her. He's got full blown aides.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some game of thrones shit
HallOfJusticeIntern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's totally laughing when he says that.
3daysofpeace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best part is that Mac Miller used something similar in one of his songs...looks like someone was watching some porn!
NoDozAddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Greatest line ever.
chem_equals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death... by SNU SNU!!!
DJ_Sk8Nite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see here laughing when he's saying that
AnalyzesPornoScripts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having read a lot of scripts, you're right, nothing beats that line.
I almost want to make it into a tshirt
FilthyUsedThrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I was born by the snatch, and I want to die by the snatch!"
"That's hardcore."
He's not wrong.
bingebams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gold for repeating jokes from the video, didnt i click away from youtube!?
ThegreatPee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' A, man.
Rylo_Ken_M ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky for the nurse he wasn't delivered by c-section.
padgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do u get gold by quoting a line from the video. I'm lost.
101ina45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to go out that way
AceCase2D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by snu snu.
ScarfedVictini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If i'm gonna die, I'm gonna die historic on the fury snatch.
Ijustsaidfuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So say we all!
WhoTang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the Mac Miller line "Imma go out the same way I came in, right by the pussy with nothin on my mind"
judyisarunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I convinced he was going to say "I want to go out with a bang!"
superfudge73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my family motto.
bloody_duck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what do you think about youth in Asia?
norsurfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I was born by the snatch, and I want to die by the snatch!"
- Philosopher Renee Decartes
Mathieulombardi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did this guy also invent dropping loads?
Blink18II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should've been delivered by Paul Walker playing a T-rex....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine a dispatch says something wrong with dyna cable? That's why they send me. I'm an expert.
iamPause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz-_mstXfr0&feature=youtu.be&t=205
Orca ninjas goin' rambo!
whobroughtmehere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ride or Die (by the snatch).
DownvotesForAdmins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got gilded for repeating a line from the video?
Lcbrito1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see even the nurse couldn't hold her laugh
haiku_robot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Virisenox_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DEATH BY SNU-SNU
TopCommentOfTheDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:41 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was the top comment of the day on May 20th 2016!
I am a bot for /r/topcommentoftheday - Please report suggestions/concerns to the mods.
pm_me_for_penpal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:10 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gold for this? Seriously?
Son_of_Kong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:20 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can totally see get shoulders shaking as she tries to hold her laughter.
ThyGuardian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:55 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you notice she was giggling as he was saying that line?
Avarice21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:26 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by snu snu.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should see the jump cut that comes after that line. WHOOOSH.
kitanata2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at the last line. Probably the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've ever seen.
Psyanide13 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 16:52:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You think this comedy bit... scripted and acted... was somehow "unintentional?"
You do know Space Jam wasn't real aliens right?
tmonz ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:55:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf
notleonardodicaprio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
psh, next you'll be saying that Harry Potter wasn't a documentary
featherfooted ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:20:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
take my breath awaaaaaaaaaaay
PM_ME_ONE_KNEE ยท 436 points ยท Posted at 15:48:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yIEjYWC9Q64
House-Lion ยท 209 points ยท Posted at 18:55:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At 1:13 or so it sounds like the dad is saying "Aw man, do you gotta take a shit again gramps?" That's some ace improv.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:23:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Completely did not catch that the first time around.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:29:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is probably my favourite in the thread.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:21:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's a porno so it follows different rules, but still this is the kind of thing I would expect on it's always sunny in philidelphia
xZ4NE134 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread has me crying!!! Lol
Maad-Dog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:25:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously NSFW source
PM_ME_ONE_KNEE ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:33:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for posting that, I tried to find the source but I got bogged down in the sheer amount of cock through a pizza porn.
asymmetrical_sally ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a lovely way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
DublinChap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:11 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I needed to know how long he kept the pizza on there. Waay longer than I expected. LOL
PENGAmurungu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:54 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Laurence Kraus' theoretical physics career didn't pan out
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:59 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing shouts erotic like dead grandparents.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
localhero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a stretch to say he looks like Semmler.
gillandgolly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you explain? Is the pizza penis guy /u/SemmlertehRiot?
ChristofferTJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Semmler is part of the most famous caster duo in the CSGO eSports scene, and the guy thinks they look similar.
gillandgolly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:46:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
sweetykitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sides... Source?
PTgenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't even ....
SluttyLlama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, at first glance I thought the dad was Lawrence Krauss.
ijizz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really dislike that male actor, he always treats the girls like shit
neilarmsloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he did am AMA, seems like a nice dude
[deleted] ยท 1291 points ยท Posted at 16:28:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best Porn Plot Twist Ever
[1]The Greatest Porn Storyline Ever
[1]
Best Porn Plot Twist Ever
Visit my page and playlists for more awesome & Funny Videos.
DoggoFights ยท 799 points ยท Posted at 17:28:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fucking cartwheels at the end
xTheWigMan ยท 483 points ยท Posted at 18:23:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Comic Sans "The End" is what got me
PetrRabbit ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 19:57:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's not even the best plot line, it's just the fact that they did whatever the hell they wanted for the last 5 seconds because they knew no one would be watching.
PicturElements ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:07:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I beg to differ. I watch it for the plot.
PLSPM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/pornplot
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:08:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That fucking Comic Sans. I have a seething hate for that font.
Mottis86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get in line
alblaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:23:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
best part hands down
MeHaveNoName ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 17:37:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ending of the second one is the best I've ever seen.
JdoesDDR ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:43:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have fucking tears in my eyes I'm laughing so fucking hard, man.
white_butterfly1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I RULE!
parav0x ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 17:59:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's with the creepy single frame of her and the wolf at 0.02?
PTCH1 ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 18:22:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back when youtube didn't let you choose thumbnails people gamed the system by figuring out the frame that would be chosen for the thumbnail and inserting a custom thumbnail at that frame.
Pizza_Party_USA ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:59:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL
4K_VCR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:54:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that! Didn't it always pick the middle frame of the video?
haxdal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:27:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the beginning it was a few seconds into the video. Then they gave you an option of choosing either the 25%, 50% or the 75% frame (or some other set increment, can't remember exactly) and then you could choose which frame to use (or well, the min:sec IIRC) and then we got the custom one.
haxdal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ah the good old days
ArminBukkake ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:35:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/SBsAMPP.png
Natdaprat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:42:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really should have checked the replies before spending way too much time trying to land on that frame.
Battl3gn0m3 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 18:23:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Before you had the option to set an image for the preview of a video on YouTube people used to have an image at a predetermined frame to set the preview
xTheWigMan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:19:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw that and was deeply intrigued
TONKAHANAH ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:23:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh thank odin for skelitor.. i thought it was going to turn out that he was her grandma
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 17:26:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for the second one.... going to need a streaming source.
gillandgolly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it helps, her name is Jersey Jaxin.
risvegliare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:37 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
do you happen to know the one from the first video?
gillandgolly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:22 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, that's Jersey Jaxin. I was answering about the red riding hood video, mistakenly thinking it was the second video.
risvegliare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well thank you so much for this mate! I'll be in my bunk.
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can you tell us what the other one is?
gillandgolly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:09 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All i know is that the MILF character is the famous Nina Hartley.
Sorrowspell ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:10:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The
devosion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Undoubtedly the greatest freeze frame ever going on in that second video.
Brassens71 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:29:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The confusing thing about movie #2 is that it appears to take place at his house, yet he's the one who leaves at the end. WTF?
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I first clicked the second link it looked like it was shot for HGTV. Like the scene in every show where the realtor is finding out what the homeowner is looking for.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
-TheCabbageMerchant- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ashamed that I am able to confirm that it is indeed Nina Hartley.
Mikchi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ashamed that you know the name of a smoking hot milf?
-TheCabbageMerchant- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:26 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly saw way too much of her stuff.
attack_of_the_clowns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:11:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it wrong that I genuinely want to know the source for that first one?
nitiger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got you fam.
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=738433706
Viralized ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the background, "Aww man, do you gotto take a shit again gramps?". LOL
XxsquirrelxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm actually Skeletor!"
Son_of_Kong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:44 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to see the Red Riding Hood video in full, because if it doesn't include the line "Why grandma, what a big cock you have," I will lose all faith in humanity.
McWuffles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemon-stealing whores is much, much better.
Wampawacka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
WhipWing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:48:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here
McWuffles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:58:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! It's the best hahahaha.
TheKharmeleon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That second one was actually pretty great.
nxsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:10 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did not see that cumming.
usernumber36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:34 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why is the ending to that second one not a gif all over the internet yet?
yzlautum ยท 428 points ยท Posted at 15:40:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess we now have a new theme for /r/videos this Saturday.
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 17:26:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'm okay with this. just as i was okay with sexfactor thing
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't jerk off in the living room at all hours of the day I'm fine with it.
kikislipservice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:09 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You haven't seen the last of him yet
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:17 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no deal comrade
Jackrabbitnw67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:56 on May 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would you mind filling me in? I seem to be out of the loop.
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:12 on May 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sexfactor.com is a free reality TV series made by xhamster
๐๏ธ RedditTipiak ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 16:10:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Et pourtant, c'est pas le premier samedi du mois...
RoiMan ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 16:44:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hon hon hon
investirenekton ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 18:11:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Baguette
IPainTrain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:48:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/GlobalOffensive is leaking
D_K_Schrute ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:12:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do you say bundle of sticks in french?
juandh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:25:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omelet du fromage.
RonPaulsHelixFossil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:08 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beaucoup des stiques
Gyromitre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fagot de bois.
AManHasSpoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I am le tired...
brosephstalin15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Le'Baguette
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:04:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:45:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I should look into an international TV package... I don't think we have Canal+ in Quebec anymore.
yzlautum ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:19:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oui
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Le thรจme est censรฉ changer le premier samedi du mois?
Qwisatz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'est une rรฉfรฉrence ร la chaine franรงaise canal + oรน chaque premier samedi du mois il diffuse des films pornographique tard le soir, s'รฉtรฉ devenue trรจs populaire pendant la fin des annรฉes 90
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:01 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ok, je n'รฉtais pas au courant!
puntifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Merci pour expliquer! Peut-รชtre je dois m'abonner ร quelques chaรฎnes franรงaises...
Mcgruffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Que cosa?
renrutal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it weird that I google this phrase instead of translating it, and the first link I get is "Week-ends gay et lesbien en Europe"?
RyCohSuave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or a new subreddit?
I_Burned_The_Lasagna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than hydraulic press and whatever product they're advertising now.
yzlautum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot stand that hydraulic press thing. I feel like this sub is just an extension of that channel.
I_Burned_The_Lasagna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first few were fine but after the millionth one it's all the same... except recently he's just crushing things he's getting paid to advertise. Any other time on reddit you're the devil for this but hydraulic press is ok because he has a silly accent that we like to imitate in every comment section.
yzlautum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha couldn't have said it better myself.
zuchit ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 15:35:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
am i the only one looking for link to full video.....got any leads?
secils ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 16:30:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Edit: I can't believe my highest rated comment is a link to a porn video. Stay awesome reddit.
[deleted] ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 17:55:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
SPOILER ALERT
She put her pussy up to his face and leans back while he licks it, she then puts her ass in his face and they get all 69 freaky, you could see her butthole, he then proceeds hump her in all various 80's style positions with a rubber, then he titty fucks the bimbo and makes some half awkward cumming shot on her chin, oh yeah and he doesn't die.
joos1986 ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 18:20:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
? wazzat?
And also. Did you just book report a porno? You typed it out yourself? It was surprisingly concise. I didn't feel any need to watch the video after your synopsis.
Thanks friend!
PerpetualYawn ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:00:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks u/Sloppy_Anus!
I_Burned_The_Lasagna ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to add that he doesn't die in the end like he wanted.
KickassMcFuckyeah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sounds very similar to some other movie I have already seen. Must be a remake or something. I'm not going to watch it but thx!
disgruntledpenguins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I have sex like someone from the 80s. The position from 9:00 is actually really good if you haven't tried it before.
siredward85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
disappointing ending.
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:53 on June 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'm not even going to click it now. My curiosity has subsided.
IDrinkUrMilksteak ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
k
SmallyBiggz ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 17:15:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
aww man I was hoping he would die at the end
pilmeny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:33 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tag spoilers as NSFW please.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:36:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RemindMeBot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:45:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I will be messaging you on 2016-05-22 05:45:46 UTC to remind you of this link.
8 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long shift, eh?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have visits. Gotta wait for them to leave.
Askada ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:56:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cant believe I had to scroll down so long for that.
hoorahforsnakes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that zooming sound coupled with her sitting on the camera is so fucking stupid i love it
homo2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Joey Lawrence?! Whoa!
GinoMarley1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy looks like Dennis Reynolds.
imGnarly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
porn.com, that's one hell of a domain.
Sohcahtoa82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is letting me down by making me go so far down for the source. I expected it to be top comment.
FuturologyDiscussion ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:57 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If there were any justice in the world this would be the highest rated comment in the thread. I'm a gay man and I still wanted this link.
BluAnimal ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Neat!
zcaboose ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thank
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:57 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol porn.com
Ron-Swanson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brunette is Jewel De'Nyle.
Wet_napkins ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:15:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fucking sides.
1RedReddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:07:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sides are in orbit.
[deleted] ยท 636 points ยท Posted at 15:36:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about this german classic
[deleted] ยท 434 points ยท Posted at 16:04:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqDsMEOYA9g
edit:
'Hey, what are you doing here?'
'Just wanted to try on one of these uniforms.'
'You probably wanted to steal it. Come, come. ALAARM'
mysticmusti ยท 465 points ยท Posted at 16:41:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how "alaaarm alaarm" is codeword for "alright boys bring the mattress it's gangbang time!"
Theeeantifeminist ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 17:00:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those drills at school the principal gave me make sense now.
SWIMsfriend ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:11:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i like how alarm is the same in German and English
brickmack ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 18:17:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
German is basically English with a funny accent and weird spellings
aphexmoon ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:42:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that would be the other way around. English is basically German
JakalDX ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:39:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English is what you get when French fucks German and has a halfbred retarded baby.
billytheskidd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English is like if German and French had a stubborn baby.
Bowbreaker ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:39:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure it isn't the other way around?
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:36:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I speak English, so it's you who has the funny accent. I speak normal.
Bowbreaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:06:42 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Growing up speaking 4 languages (including English) I learned that everything sounds funny all the time :D
whitepalms85 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:13:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like those two languages are related...
nomofica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many words are the same or are incredibly similar in German and English. This should come as no surprise not only because they are both West Germanic languages but many English words have German roots.
setfire3 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:52:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
extended source?
SirCutRy ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:18:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://xhamster.com/movies/1427049/alaaaarm_sex_auf_der_feuerwache.html
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 17:24:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
"This is what German firefighters actually believe"
sub_xerox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao
CorruptedToaster ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:12:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs subs, but still pretty funny.
nliausacmmv ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 17:23:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't need anything but her eyes at the end.
alleluja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:38:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, i came.
superseriousraider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
man I must have missed the season where shaun spencer went to germany.
Natdaprat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her look of resigned defeat at the end is my fetish.
mis_suscripciones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha!, oh my!, I'm in tears!!
Pistol_Pete_94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I got that as a notification off of zedge. Sounded more like an Indian guy to be honest. Now that it's been going off I feel like I should have my friends bring up a bed for me
SirCutRy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who is she?
cant_think_of_one_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a weird and fucked up clip.
[deleted] ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:27:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I nearly had my first spittake of my life at: "Why do you wear that mask" "Then, blow me"
Stalwart-Lover ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:34:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would be extremely painful
EyelidsMcBirthwater ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:36:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
4u
WTFYouTalkingAbout ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:43:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about German efficiency
OoThatDudeoO ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 17:24:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Translation if anyone wants to know:
Girl - ''This is the power-box(?) that we always have trouble with, if you could look at it.''
Guy - ''Yeah, sure but why is there hay all over the place?''
Girl - ''And why do you have a mask on?''
Guy - ''Hmm.... well then suck me off.''
Panukka ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 17:36:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No need for that, the video has subs. :)
OoThatDudeoO ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:13:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... lol.
bardleh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:38:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mobile can't see them though, so I appreciate him.
Panukka ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:15:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, if you use the YouTube app, you can enable subs.
thomycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i am watching from Germany and for some reason, the subs were also in German? Perhaps thats why that dude translated it?
Panukka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Click the setting button and change the language.
lazyslacker ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:17:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, but didn't you see the subtitles?
cptstupendous ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not if the language preferences were already in German.
lazyslacker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see! I just assumed that the subs were hard coded in the video. Had no idea it was a translation provided by youtube.
OoThatDudeoO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they were German. ._.
lazyslacker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I think they probably were for you. I thought the subtitles were hard coded in English in the video. It was actually a youtube translated subtitle function. I had no idea youtube had that feature.
caesar15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK
reallyweirdmofo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:47:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you wear a mask? Blow me.
What the fuck
Kalleggro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still a better love story than Twilight.
Drachefly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, she's been in two movies with her love interest and hasn't even made it to first base.
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This is exactly what it's like when I dream about sex. I realize something doesn't make sense a little, but before giving it any thought I think, "Well if that doesn't make sense.. then there should be sex."
sourc3original ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone have the source for that?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sourc3original ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I meant the "then blow me" one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf was that outro
androgein1 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:20:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is European porn so terrible? They have the most unattractive people ever in those movies.
Ontarin01 ยท 464 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b40QdTRaqFk
Hunterctaylor ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 15:44:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was the video I was thinking of when I saw this thread! The fucking part when he talks about ripping his skin gets me every time.
Maad-Dog ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 19:18:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its the hrmmmm for me
lilylemony ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:47:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gets bigger when pulled, dick does. Hmmm.
Wiremaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too.
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:44:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
MRW he talked about ripping his dick skin.
NonsensicalOrange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:15:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's pretty cool that you are so open about the porn you watch.
cluster_1 ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 18:06:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a gay porno of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
Tommat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:59:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We need to cook."
"I'd be right happy to!"
bacondev ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:26:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? How?
jwcjwc12 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 17:36:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/WX8ZeZJqOE0
wheenus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:25:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caught myself halfway through this video thinking "where the fuck have I ended up?"
22fortox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:03:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This made me reinstall VVVVVV.
TheRoyalSniper ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:38:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GachiGASM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xl59lmrAi0
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheRoyalSniper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTIvcecz2Aw
CastOfKillers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:16:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of those two haven't starred in a Breaking Bad porn together, then the gay porn community has wasted it's entire existence.
Cameroon62 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kuw6KBc6ie4
tendorphin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:38:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The chanting. It haunts me.
bombsaway1979 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG!!! "Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks, especially coz they're such big size n' all."
PTgenius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:46:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fisting is 300 bucks
Also: http://soundboard.ass-we-can.com
windkirby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... his dad taught him about having someone else use their mouth? That sounds like a less than ideal situation
stairmaster_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:17:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Made me think of this
Yoske96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'MON COLLEGE BOY
ILovePlaterpuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source? Not gay, just enjoy gay porn sometimes for variety's sake.
camdoodlebop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dats gay
Risky_Fellatio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His hrmmm reminds me of the noise some characters in the legend of zelda make when you interact with them
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:22 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
King Vizimir taught his son well.
Lefencingboss ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 16:55:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/UbhlGzQkUUY
brickmack ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:34:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy with the gun looks like a video game character. He even has a "check the gun" idle animation
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
Iitigator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:51 on June 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The ninja guy looks like Charlie Kelly.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:30:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's the chick?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:29:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yurizan Beltran
steelbeamsdankmemes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yurizan Beltran
Tatas Under Siege
suck_my_rightnut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:01 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I've seen that clip a ton of times and I just got that it's a spoof on Under Siege.
meoka2368 ยท 855 points ยท Posted at 14:16:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/PZptw1ueUY4
JAB0NK0 ยท 847 points ยท Posted at 14:51:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey what the fuck!" 0-10 real quick
WildTurkey81 ยท 244 points ยท Posted at 18:29:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He really fucking meant it.
TheMisterFlux ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 19:26:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah. That lemon-stealing whore was stealing his lemons.
Jumbojimbomumbo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:13:06 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His lemony lemons
timelyparadox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:46:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, 10 seconds quick.
nliausacmmv ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 17:25:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I see this I think "wow this is porno-level acting" but then I remember it is actually a porno.
CR8ONAKKUH ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 16:53:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemon whores.
tekdemon ยท 256 points ยท Posted at 16:42:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah it's funny until you remember that the girl in the intro died because she got (allegedly) murdered by her sketchball husband.
justin_tino ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 17:48:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can watch Phil Hartman and still laugh, I think it still fits with porn comedy.
Grifachu ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:35:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They'd want to be remember for what they did, not how they died. Remember the laughter and boners they gave you.
jillyboooty ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like with the tree star girl from Land Before Time that got murdered.
[deleted] ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 17:23:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the guy has been accused of sexual assault by 9 women and counting so far.
brickmack ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:23:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, is that James Dean?
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 18:33:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, it's chuck testa
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:27:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:27:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And is being sued for knowingly transmitting stds. Guy's a scumbag
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:51:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Innocent until proven guilty. We don't need your attitude. That's why Guantanamo is still open. Don't ever pass judgement on someone until they have their day in court.
frippere ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:12:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Innocent until proven guilty is a mechanism courts use to not wrongfully send someone to prison. It has nothing to do with whether the public is allowed to judge the fuck out low lives like that guy.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:45:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stormflux ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:47:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a chance my pitchfork is willing to take.
TheLiberalLover ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:10:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The words of all those women isn't "proof"? Sure it might not be enough to get a conviction outright but there's definitely some proof, considering that it would be quite outlandish for all of those women to not be telling the truth. Implying that all 9 or so women who said this are lying or that their words don't mean anything just feeds into a culture that discourages women from reporting rape, especially against people with power like this dude, since it seems like no one will want to believe them.
Jiratoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:50:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody implied that the accusations of the 9 women don't count or that they are lying - the only thing said was innocent until proven guilty.
And it doesn't matter if 1 or 15 come forward, it's still innocent until proven guilty. Any other way to handle this would be very stupid - 10 people accuse you and instant guilty doesn't sound like a good idea or system.
TheLiberalLover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That quite clearly implies that the women's accusations don't count or are lying, since we already know that the women accused him of rape, which is proof (unless they're lying or their accusations don't matter..). I'm not saying it's a legal conviction, I'm just saying that disqualifying the proof that's already laid out and bare to see is bad.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:00:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't proof because you can be accused of a crime without having committed the crime.
Jiratoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:54 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To me that was more like "it's not proven yet" and not "they're lying".
Maybe also some confusion regarding proof and evidence in a court setting - yes, their accusations are proof against the guy, but it does not prove that he's guilty.
Reinhart3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:10:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not illegal for me to present these allegations as fact!!!!!"
Ok dawg.
claytoncash ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:46:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think a guy saying "someone who is accused of multiple counts of sexual violence and MURDER is a scumbag" is not equivalent to "Guantanamo is good fuck due process and lets torture some bitches!"
I mean. Just sayin.
olican101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:45 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didnt say the guy is INNOCENT. Only getting sued. His commebt was 100% factual.
Kinoblau ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
public opinion isn't a court of law, just because they haven't been convicted doesn't mean we all don't know he's guilty. everyone knows casey anthony killed her kid, even though she was proclaimed innocent.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:36:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know he's guilty though. The reason 'innocent until proven guilty' is such a necessary social norm, especially in cases related to rape, is that even if the person ends up innocent their professional and person lives can be irreparably ruined.
I'm not telling you what to think on this guy (I can totally imagine there is some abusive misogynistic shit going on behind the scenes in the porn industry), but I do think it's a good practice both legally and publically to not condemn a person before they have been proven guilty.
ezone2kil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's dumb. The 'knowingly' part has to be proven.
People like you are why false rape accusations are such a potent weapon that women are successfully using to ruin lives of innocent men.
Or are you saying women don't lie? /s
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:45:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm passing judgement on you for being a fucking crybaby, and I don't need a court for that.
Kumbackkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf are you talking about? Who is suing him for stds? Judgmental much with zero evidence but your own made up stories
Kumbackkid ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 19:01:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cosby was accused of more and found innocent. While I don't like to disbelieve rape claims when you are a porn actress your whole sense of credibility is diminished and they have no proof just bullshit claims.
Cereborn ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:30:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Legacy rape cases going back decades are very hard to get convictions for. There is a marked difference between "found not guilty by means of insufficient evidence" and "totally innocent all the women are lying bitches".
Also, the whole "Your credibility is diminished" line is exactly why there is still so much violence against women going on.
Kumbackkid ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that shoots adult films and have been on set a number of times. These girls are constantly fucked up off dope and so many drugs who knows what they actually want or don't.
Now am I saying it's right to take advantage of a girl fucked up? Not at all, but when your on set of s fucking porn studio doing lines of heroine on a dinner plate expect to probably get fucked off camera. And the thing is they do it day in and day out, how could one say oh he raped me this time when I was barred out but when I took meth I totally sucked his dick. In a profession where sex is everything you should stay on point.
ssriwithdrawlsucks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? No. Statue of limitations were up. And he's all but admitted to them plus is now going to criminal court later this month.
PM_ass_and_tits_girl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:55:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's still funny
He_who_humps ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:52:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. I still think it's funny.
CryBerry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, still funny.
Teekoo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:56:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell checks out the cast and their life stories when you're watching porn?
formated4tv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:27:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like a game where you try to keep your dick hard while learning about how tragic their lives are and regretting the fact that you're using them.
tatertot255 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:01:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she probably picked the wrong lemon tree
meaninglessvoid ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:04:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
claytoncash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it can still be funny. Sucks for ol girl tho.
gillandgolly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think she died of an overdose, plain and simple.
Her husband was, of course, sketchy as all fuck, but/and he killed himself not long after her death. If memory serves, he was found in a room with a makeshift "altar" to her.
Now, such a suicide could be due to either grief or guilt. But, arguably, injecting someone with and overdose is quite a cold-blooded murder. Most spousal murders are hot-blooded and violent.
He might have accidentally injected her with an overdose, but then that's not murder, it's manslaughter (if that). Which, again, seems like a plausible cause for a guilt-ridden suicide.
ThisNameIsFree ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:11:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Whats her name??
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:19:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ballsackcancer ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:58:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess it's time to fap to some dead women.
Juddernaught83 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:10:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That looks nothing like either girl in the clip.
bge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eye makeup makes a big impact
tophernator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:19:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Don't you think that if you're going to talk about stuff like this you should provide some reference links? Or at the very least name the fucking people you're talking about?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her name is Haley Paige. The other two are Joanna Angel and James Deen. Deen has his own issues, having recently been accused of sexual assault by several women in the industry.
Tommy2255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also there's that one clip where he was supposed to be fucking a girl dressed like a clown, but she broke down crying in a "what am I doing with my life" moment and he was a total dick about it.
I don't have a link, you can google as well as I can, but I'm sure I've seen something like this, and I'm pretty sure it was James Deen.
Killerqueen93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is she the same girl from the lemon stealing whore video? Because if I remember correctly she died the same way.
LifeBehindHandlebars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:57 on May 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's her name?
conspiracy_thug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I believe she died of AIDSim wrong
DDSNeverSummer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:07:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No you're thinking of Houdini
TheStarkReality ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:40:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the guy trying not to crack up when she asks when they last looked at their lemon tree.
EV-30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You know those naughty whores always steal lemons..."
mellomallow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah we do have a couple of lemon whores in this community.." oh my fucking god.
Eloping_Llamas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:51 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to high school with the lemon whore.
meoka2368 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:45 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a yearbook of that, you could probably make killer karma by posting her picture.
Eloping_Llamas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:54 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/a/kixNm
meoka2368 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:10 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. Now go post that on /r/pics or something to reap the karma. I'd suggest a title like "lemon stealing sophomores"
Eloping_Llamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:12 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I'm ok. Feel free to if you want
meoka2368 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:36 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ooookay.
Eloping_Llamas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:07 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has porn science gone too far?
imGnarly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to god I'm drinking lemonade right now
Bailie2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I kept waiting to hear "lemon party"
meoka2368 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else linked this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlpQ4cl2AOw
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:45 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, fuck it, source?
meoka2368 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:16 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's enough of a meme that you could probably Google "lemon stealing whore" and find it.
Toxikomania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won the award last year.
Fleep ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:41:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gag on his cock you lemon stealing whore!
meoka2368 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. Awesome
Daasswasfat ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 16:08:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I thought this was from Dennis Reynolds : An Erotic Life
Mentioned_Videos ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 15:41:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Other videos in this thread: Watch Playlist โถ
I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch.
Play All | Info | Chrome Extension
LordMonichromicorn ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 19:21:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks bot. Your best work ever. Proud of you.
Mentioned_Videos ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:53:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, that means a lot.
imGnarly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
word
-JungleMonkey- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if he was sentient he would be happy to read your comment
Drachefly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, convenient bot
SoufOaklinFoLife ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My God
OhGatsby ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 16:45:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6vwum4EFQw
My favorite.
Flaring_Path ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:29:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm hnngg ok.
justanotherepic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:37:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This isn't a beach it's a bath tub " jaws music "Get out of the water there's a shark!"
I guess it's a beach after all?
brickmack ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:38:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That guys voice sounds like the rubber duck in the first scene of /u/fuckswithducks porn compilation
yardaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was a pretty good actor!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Original Joke.
Spcole ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 17:12:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I listen to Goth!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
.
WonFriendsWithSalad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well she's gonna try to!
northborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha I wasn't sure if he said Goth or Gob, either way; funny.
Peter_J_Quill ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:43:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. That sounds familiar.
headbashkeys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/05/Jon-snow-sad-gif.gif?gs=a
that_guy_you_kno ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:38:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me that isn't Dennis Reynolds and this isn't one of his plans
Accipehoc ยท 196 points ยท Posted at 15:23:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not called Meet The Banes
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 17:49:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:20:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see that in the youtube video, was that in the nsfw video?
AtWorkAndOnReddit ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 17:33:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Danny D is packing a horsecock. There was a scene where he broke into a house as a burglar and the wife and husband were in the kitchen. The wife was making the husband a sandwich and she took the piece of white bread and wrapped it around his cock. The piece of white bread only went around half his cock. Now whenever I see white bread I think of Danny D's horsecock.
divisibleby5 ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 17:56:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
neat
Skittnator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pretty swell.
Myrandall ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXZt4-LTtHw
almightySapling ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:28:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He also used to do gay porn under the name Matt Hughes, for the fellas.
AC_Slater25 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u fokin wot m8
boxhead99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:10:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Link? And who is that girl?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just google Jasmine James Home Invasion. You'll find it.
Jumbojimbomumbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:05 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jasmine James
http://www.wetjizz.com/video/jasmine-james-fuck-with-a-thief/
bob1689321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:43 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a pasta? I feel like I've seen this a few times.
JMAN7102 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorites.
test1121 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:50:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... stupid bitch
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:52:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"WITNESS MEEEEEE" fapfapfapfapfap
Mista_Wong ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:27:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now Tayne I can get into
pixi1997 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:17:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure at some point in that film he says "Now this is Pod racing!"
Captain_d00m ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:07:54 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He does. There is also a great line where she takes out his penis and says "You're a big guy" and he replies with "For you!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YunoTheGasai ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:09:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's available on Brazzers if I recall correctly. I'll try and find it for you, though.
EDIT: FOUND IT. http://watchxxxfree.com/meme-lover-ella-hughes-danny-d/ 2nd video should work - worked for me but if not hit me up, I'll get an alternate source.
TheOnlySniffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please do kind sir, further research must be done.
YunoTheGasai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:28:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T WORRY MAN I GOTCHU
http://watchxxxfree.com/meme-lover-ella-hughes-danny-d/
2nd video should work, if not hit me up
Also very obvious NSFW but I don't think that needs saying
treycartier91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I know this is probably all about the red head. But anyone got a name on the mom? I need to see those giant fun bags.
SidNhis1911 ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:15:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best unscripted line I've ever seen.
There is a clip of Ginger Lynn where she plays some football players girlfriend who is a virgin and ends up doing the football coach.
Right before coach puts his ding-dong in her who-hah she asks "is it going to hurt?" He says"well yeah, but only for you so it's okay"
She looks back at him for a quick second with this 'WTF you jus say, that ain't in the script bruh'
1RedReddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:05:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Link pls
SidNhis1911 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:31:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=809265580
Line @ 10:25
Noumenon72 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:15 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's some damn fine porn, as well.
SidNhis1911 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really dig the music in it. I catch myself singing it at work sometimes.
Noumenon72 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:14 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting the sense this video also has 12 million views, but they're all you.
SidNhis1911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:11 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhhhh....
usvaa ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:43:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well don't leave us hanging.. link?
๐๏ธ RedditTipiak ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 14:52:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hanging. Uh uh uh uh. Uh uh uh uh uh...
NSFW: http://www.porn.com/videos/hot-nurses-nina-ferrari-was-fucked-by-joel-lawrence-78841
Shaw-Deez ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 15:28:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting how he desperately wants to die, but is still concerned enough about STD's to wear a condom.
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 16:01:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he has STDs he doesn't want to give to her
hnt0212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love those moral stories!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They really put a lot of thought into that video.
chewb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't he say he's a virgin during the dialogue?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poophole loophole?
latmab ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 16:47:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
meta
I_AM_WEARING_A_SHIRT ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:31:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What reference am I missing?
nomofica ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:23:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not missing anything. They don't know what meta means.
otabagel ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:46:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... no
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:58:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she doesn't want to get pregnant...?
Lavaburp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IMMERSION RUINED.
Justin435 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:05:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit...Does he still want to die or is he goood now? I need the next part of the movie!
jack2454 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:46:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he didn't die at the END? WTF
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
Norma5tacy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:44 on May 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I wonder what this discreetly titled web page could contain?
colucci ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found Butthead
knifepen ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 14:55:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The shitty acting really makes this
ChessPiece19 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 16:20:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is first-rate acting for a porno
Ancient2 ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 15:27:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the nurse laughing as he says how he was born
CislunarR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really appreciate how this comment avoids spoilers.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:52:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy's acting was on-point.
Veteran0fPsychicWars ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:25:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The award goes to this video of course.
Emily_McAwesomepants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:32 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm?!
mapam ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:56:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/0WnlGtMkDcY?t=50
onlyaskredditonly ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 16:19:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Who wrote this. I want that person to write an installment of the cock goblin series.
For those of you who don't know, cock goblin is a girl dressed up as a goblin called 'cock gobblin' who attempted to have the male performer's cock for herself and the female performer says 'shoo cock goblin! this cock isn't for you!' and shoo aways the cock goblin.
Example 1:
Girl is having sex with guy cowgirl style and occasionally his dick will slip out of her vagina and she would put it back in. unbeknownsth of them a cock gobblin sneaks by and the next time his dick slips out she grabs it and starts sucking on it.
The female performer reaches back in order to retrieve the cock but grabs her head instead, she looks back and is like 'Da FUCK?!!' and scares her off by throwing a shoe at her and says 'Shoo cock gobblin! this cock isn't for you!' and the cock gobblin gimps away making a incomprehensible cock goblin noise.
Example 2:
The White House.
Michelle Obama comes into the presidential bedroom wearing her first lady lingerie, only to find the cock goblin riding Obama's cock! The cock goblin is also wearing an Isis hat.
Michelle Obama says 'Get outta cock goblin, the president's cock belongs to ME' and she throws a shoe at the cock goblin, scaring her off.
for more check out /r/cockgoblin
onlyaskredditonly ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 16:26:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Scene idea 2: Spiderwoman.
After a long days work of beating up bad guys, SpiderWoman visits her boyfriend, Marty James, for some nice relaxing evening of cunnilingus.
She pulls her costume pants down (while leaving on everything else including the mask) and Marty James gets straight to work.
She like 'oooh, ohhh yeah, that hits the spot' when she notices two sets of slurping noises. She looks down and see's the Cock Goblin sucking Marty James' cock!
She's like 'The Cock Goblin! My mortal enemy!'.
Cock Goblin: 'That's right Spiderwoman, and this cock is MINE'.
And the CockGoblin shoots Spiderwoman's hands with this glue stuff that glues her hands to the couch so she can't move. Then takes Marty James onto her hoverboard thing. 'I'd love to stay SpiderWoman but it looks you're a little stuck at the moment!'
And SpiderWoman says 'it's ok, I'm just experiencing some vaginal DISCHARGE' and SpiderWoman shoots spider web from her vagina, tying up Cock Golbin and releasing Marty James.
Cock Goblin: 'Dam you SpiderWoman. I'll get Marty's cock one day!'.
Spiderwoman is like 'Did it ever occur to you that maybe...just maybe...if you found your own cocks, you wouldn't have to STEAL other women's cocks?'
Scene idea 4: Beyonce.
Jay Z has Beyonce bent over a desk and they're doing it doggy style. Unbeknownst to Jay Z the cockgoblin floats down from the ceiling (mission impossible style) with her legs spread and lands her crotch right into Jay Z's mouth!
Beyonce notices the slurping noise and turns around and see's the cock goblin!
Beyonce :'Aw hell NAW Cock Goblin! That's MY man!' and runs after the cock goblin' Later, Beyonce makes an angry song directed at the Cock Goblin, and the music video recreates her encounter with the cock goblin that's unflattering to the cock goblin.
Scene Idea 5: Magic Mike.
Magic Mike is doing a strip tease for the Princess of Norway's bachelorette party. When he's naked the cock goblin comes in and start sucking Magic Mike's cock, blocking everyone's view of his cock and ruining the show. The Princess is about to cry.
Luckily Jonnah Hill runs in and tackles the cock Goblin (Magic Mike and 21 Jump Street are in the same universe).
Scene Idea 11: Star Wars
After informing Han Solo and princess she and Luke are siblings, princess Leia finally got to have that sweet sweet Han Solo Cock. As she filled her self up with it, she reacted 'Awwwwgghhh Yeaahhhhhhh, that really hits the spot!'.
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Then, in the corner of the room, from the end of a long table a swivel chair turned around and it was the cock goblin! She ran from the chair and knocked princess Leia off that forcemeat and proceeded to have her pussy hog that Han Solo cock. Leia got to her feet. she said 'Shoo Cock Goblin, I EARNED that cock!!!'
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Leia then walked over to confront the Cock Goblin, but the Cock Goblin unleashed her light saber and said 'Not until I'm finished, aaahhehehehhehheeeeeeee' and started to really work in hips.
That cock belonged in Princess Leia's pussy. .. . . .It was hopeless for Leia but then she heard her brothers voice 'Use the force. .. . . .'
Princess Leia, after having some trouble, believed in her self and used to force to lift the Cock Goblin off of Han Solo, and throw her out the window. (Star wars theme starts playing here)
She then put Han Solo's cock right back in her pussy, where it belongs. She said 'ahhhhhgh, feels so good to have this cock back up in in here again.'
'I know' responded Han Solo.
Scene Idea 12: Captain Planet
The Cock Goblin was exploring Gaia's Island looking for cock when she found a ring and some instructions.
Later on, Dr. Blight was wiping out forests with a super weed. It was up to the planeteers to stop her!
Kwame: Earth!
Wheeler: Fire!
Linka: Wind!
Gi: Water!
(and before Ma-Ti could said "Heart!")
Cock Golbin: Cock!
All Planeteers: ". . .. . Cock?!??"
And from their ring, Captain Planet emerged from the ring. Except he wasn't wearing his red speedo! (he was still wearing the black belt though) And he totally had a boner that was showing!
Then the Cock Golbin ran up to him and started sucking his cock. Then Gaia came from the sky and threw a shoe at her, scaring her away "Shoo Cock Goblin, that's not what Captain Planet is for"
Gaia then noticed Cock Goblin had her Cock powered ring (which she used for masturbation) and chased after the Cock Goblin to get it back.
Wheeler: "Alright. . .while she's dealing with that, we have to take care of Dr Blight!'
But when the turned around to look at what's going on, Dr. Blight was now sucking on Captain Planet's cock!
All Planeteers: "Captain Planet???"
And Captain Planet just shrugs his shoulders.
Scene Idea 14: X-Men First Class
Mystique had finally seduced Magneto enough to have sex with her by being in her original form. Magneto had just pulled her pants down, exposing his juicy cock, but then the Cock Goblin threw her aside to selfishly take that cock which she absolutely did not earn!
The Cock Goblin had superior mutant powers (or scientific powers (or magical powers) ) and Mystique was no match.
Mystique then transformed into Naked Magneto, with a boner. She walked up to Cock Goblin and waved her boner in Cock Goblin's face. Cock Goblin was confused, but succumbed to her instincts and grabbed Mystique's cock.
Mystique's cock then turned into a hand, which flung her out the window! Now, Mystique was alone to have the cock that she rightfully earned.
Scene Idea 15: Subrina The Teenage Witch
Note, all characters mentioned here at of at least 18 years of age when this story happens.
Subrina was finally about to get at Harvey Kinkle's cock. Her lips were milimeters away from his dick when the Cock Goblin pushed Subrina aside to have Harvey's cock to her self!
She tried to fight off the cock goblin but the cock goblin had been training to fight off other women was was too good. It seemed hopeless for Subrina.
Subrina had an idea. She cast a spell saying "My hips are in need of Harvey's cock, that should be in my lips by the next second on the clock!" and then poof! But she didn't find her self sucking Harvey's cock, but another Subrina was sucking Harvey's cock!
Subrina couldn't tell her aunts so she called Salem who explained that the way she cast the spell, it just made whoever was sucking on Harvey Dent's Cock a copy of Subrina, instead of brining actual Subrina's mouth to Harvey's Cock.
Fortunately Salem knew exactly what to do.
'Great!' said Subrina 'lets reverse the spell' but when they looked over at Harvey, the Cock Golbin/Subrina Clone was gone.
'Where did she go?!?' exclaimed Subriana.
Harvey: "I dunno, I blew my load and she left saying something about needing the next cock'
The next day at School, Libby roughly bumps into Subrina and says 'get your own cock!' Subrina to Valerie (her best friend): "What was that about?"
Valerie: "Well when Libby was having sex with her boyfriend last night, you picked her up and threw her into the pool! Then you had sex with Libby's boyfriend. Now all the cheerleaders hate you! I'm your best friend Subrina and I would say that's pretty mean of you"
Subrina: "It's the cock Goblin!" (laugh track)
In a few days, the Subrina clone cock gobline has sex with half the boyfriends at Westbridge High, and everyone in school hates her. Fotunately, Salem was able to put a tracking device on the clone. Subrina and Salem look at the rader for her location, and she was in . . . .Aunt Zelda's room!!! Subrina and Salem look at each other with shocked faces.
They rush into Aunt Zelda's bedroom to find Aunt Zelda yelling at the cock Goblin
Aunt Zelda: "Subrina, how could you have sex with my date!"
Then she looks over at Subrina and is like 'two Subrinas?!"
Subrina tell's Aunt Zelda the whole story. By the time they were done they look over at Aunt Zelda's date but the cock goblin was gone!
'Where did she go?!?' they said.
Zelda's Date: "I dunno, I blew my load and she left saying something about needing the homecomming cock'
Subrina: "Homecoming Cock. . . .that's the valuable of all cocks! The cock of the homecoming king at Westbridge High! They're going to announce it at the assembly, which starts in 20 minutes!
They all run to school. They get to the auditorium and they already announced the homecoming king! And Subrina saw the Cock Goblin at the end of the stage. Oh god, is she going to suck the homecoming king's cock in front of the whole school??
Subrina: "Oh no, everyone would see me suck the homecoming's king in front of the whole school" Subrina rushed to the stage, but it was too late.
To the shock of everyone at the assembly, and to the extreme displeasure to the homecoming Queen, the Subrina Clone had pulled down the homecoming king's pants and was hard at work sucking his cock, in front of the whole school!
But Subrina was already on stage.
Random Crowd Person: 'Wait! There's two Subrinas!!!"
Subrina: "Yes. . . this is my Twin sister, who is visiting from studying abroad in another country, this is their custom there. It wasn't me who fucked all your boyfriends cocks. "
The audience believed her. On the advice of Salem, Subrina threw a shoe to scare off the Cock Goblin, who ran into Zelda, who transformed the cock goblin to her original form.
Subrina learned a lesson about using quick Magic to solve her problems, and everything else went back to normal, and Subrina could finally have sex with Harvey in peace.
for more check out /r/cockgoblin
youramazing ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 16:43:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh.....
ThisNameIsFree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just burp?
Zukuto ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:48:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mrw: http://i.imgur.com/o59OOxo.gif (credit to /u/BigMurph26 )
Clbull ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:25:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PornHub, please hire this guy :)
---_-___ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Katie_pornhub
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:00:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor cock goblin.
onlyaskredditonly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:37 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if you check out the subreddit there's one where she gets a cock.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't watched Subrina in 10 years at least, but that is EXACTLY the way the shenanigans in that show are written. 10/10.
onlyaskredditonly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:05 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha thanks, I really had to try and remember all the tropes for that one.
PumpinWhileDumpin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:43:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get this crowd funded :D
divisibleby5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:59:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it would be interesting to do a cock goblin origin story and find out why she's so skittish, like being able to be shoo'd away so easily. the story would probably be some bbc sexually broken plus hardcore femdom stuff so theres that to work on once GOT ends
Drachefly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's actually Swiper.
onlyaskredditonly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:29 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps a girl who was raised by a family of Swipers, who started getting really horny after she became an adult, but wasn't able to tell which cocks are the best so only goes after cocks which are already in demand.
onlyaskredditonly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what's bbc? what's GOT?
I really haven't figured out the cock goblin origin. Though most stories are separated so multiple actresses can play cock goblin.
A few are connected though. Harry Potter and Subrina the Teenage whitch are in the same universe.
geared4war ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't leave me hanging...
Does the poor little cock goblin get some cock or not?
onlyaskredditonly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:56 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe, check out the stories in /r/CockGoblin
Tovora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing I've read all day.
MundaneInternetGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:24:39 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cock goblin is NOT some random human girl, he is a majestic creature who will suck the life out of every man he comes across!
XxsquirrelxX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice it them to put in a reference to the shoe-throwing incident.
HelpingandFriendly ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:24:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"only if you have that sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching stuffy head fever so I can die medicine." was my favorite. Funny stuff.
lordunholy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Caught me completely off guard. It was perfect.
canadiancarlin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 16:09:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could've sworn that was Dennis
KjoeLjan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:21:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the one with the snake? I haven't found the one with the snake yet!
http://youtu.be/MuApS2c9nSY
Thendofreason ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
full video, for science
Nina Ferrari
KommanderKitten ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:08:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well take an aspirin or something!" Grade A nursing right there.
gatomercado ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:35:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is produced by Vivid who at the time was trying to make mainstream type porn. They had glamorous looking models and made basically b-movies with lots of sex. Most of their movies were softcore but always funny and with a high production value. Their models even host shows on the E Network.
assertivelyconfused ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:50:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
In Trailer Trash Nurses 6, a man is bitten in the penis by a poisonous snake and the nurse has to suck the venom out to save his life
I've been looking for the first 5 ever since
atheist_libertarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:33 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, so this is just some cheesy nurse sequel? I was hoping they were making movies about current, hotly contested sociopolitical issues and seminal moments in history.
like TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Euthanasia Dilemna
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the TSA
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Great Depression
or TRIXIE & MUFFIN and the Life and Times of Louis XIV
mcgeetothemax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:01:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wonderful art direction. I see they broke out the wallpaper, brick with painting, AND blue window sets for that riveting hallway scene. Even added a thrift store painting for the brick.
shabalaba51 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:32:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGz9QmirLBE
jcordova8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like Denis from Sunny in Philadelphia...
DangerDoodoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that too!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cat_handcuffs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:46:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found my next tattoo.
PTgenius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another one
Vbpretend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg that is great
EmeraldJunkie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:22:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't get passed the euthanasia part.
It's like someone tried writing "National Lampoons Hospital Visit" except with bad porno dialogue
Draxus335 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They throw rocks at me"
Lmao
teoSCK ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 15:00:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm stealing that euthanasia/youth in asia joke.
psychobilly1 ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 15:24:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its an old joke, so you wouldn't be the first.
AtWorkAndOnReddit ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:26:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Story time. I wrote essays for kids in high school for like 50 bucks. Quick cash for me and most of the time it was only like 3 pages double spaced. One kid I was writing an essay for told me his topic was euthanasia. I heard it as Youth in Asia and although I thought it was weird I just nodded and said okay. That night I did research on the activities of young Asian kids. Finished the essay and printed it for my friend. The look on his face was priceless when I gave him the paper. Deadpan look just asked me "Are you deadass?". I was so confused and asked what the problem is. He looked over the essay and asked why I was writing about Chinese kids. I told him I did exactly what he asked and wrote an essay about Youth in Asia. After explaining that his essay was not about the Youth in Asia and it was on euthanasia I have never laughed so hard in my life. I had to rewrite the essay but I will never forget the time I spent researching the Asian Youth.
TLDR: Wrote essay on Youth in Asia instead of euthanasia.
MundaneInternetGuy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:26:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
50 bucks for a 3 page essay? Shit, I missed out on some serious income in HS.
VictorShakapopulis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you overexplained the hell out of that story. No plot twists or nothing.
OMG__Ponies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:01:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he IS an essay writer.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:52:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:24:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're stealing it from whoever thought it up like 100 years ago? That joke is older than my grandma.
PlaylisterBot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:20:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Comment will update if new media is found.
Downvote if unwanted, self-deletes if score is 0.
about this bot | recent playlists | plugins that interfere | R.I.P. u/VideoLinkBot
Bowmance ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:49:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look closely at the nurse when he's saying "I was born by the snatch, and I want to die by the snatch!" She's laughing her tits off..
Maipenlai ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:11:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
12 MILLION VIEWS? WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
12m views, 90 comments lol
Maipenlai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:26 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hilarious! I'm going back to comment :)
Michael_MegaX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the world's greatest plot twist goes to...
towleboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I.... I... uhhhh......
I can't even think of how to react to that...
DogePerformance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahahhahaahahah fuckin awesome
goofball_jones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not bad...and as someone who is a major fan of the Golden Age of Porn (late 70s/early 80s), most of the movies were story driven. "Gonzo" didn't really become a thing until the 90s. This is half the charm of porn "movies" that have a story. The really bad, campy, weird writing and acting.
And as the character of Jack Horner says in Boogie Nights:
"How do you keep them in the theater after they've come? The beauty and the acting. No, I understand you've got to get 'em in the theater. You know, you've got to get the seats full. But I don't want to make a film where they show up, they sit down, they jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film where the story just sucks them in. And when they spurt out that joy juice, they've got to just sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends."
Zellough ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:51:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children? They throw rocks at me...
;-; ahhh compelling writing, always gets to me
beretbabe88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This looks hysterical. There's so much porn where the girls look kind of miserable,it's nice to see one where everyone looks like they're having fun.
Degru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet the writers are doing this on purpose for the amusement of everyone involved.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:08:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now YouTube is recommending me all these "porn" videos. Thanks OP
rd1994 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:38:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there was one german one..the dialogue (translated of course went like this9
her: okay this is the bathroom
him: why is there hay in here
her: I don't know
him: why don't you give me a blowjob then?
satisfried ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That guy has surprisingly good comedic timing.
alanchavez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I totally relate to the Euthanasia joke!
English is not my first language, but I went to college in the US. During my first English composition class I had to write a paper on Euthanasia, and I wrote it about Youth in Asia. Then the next class everyone was arguing whether Euthanasia was moral or not, and I was completely confused wondering why people were so fucking opposed to Young Asian people.
I'm embarrassed just to remember that I made a lot of similar blunder during that class like when I wrote a paper about death penalty for rappers instead of rapists...
DreadViking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM INTRIGUED BY THIS NARRATIVE - DOTH HE INDEED PERISH BY WAY OF SNATCH?
IndianSurveyDrone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I watch porn, which only makes me horny, and reminds me that I have no one."
Hitting too close to home, there!
ImOnHereForPorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:03 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sobs It's true
soulsticedub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is also pretty good
Peterpewpew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:22 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has been about 10 seconds since we last looked at our lemon tree
cqxray ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:26:05 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They had me at " youth in Asia."
Sw3dishFish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I did not see that coming
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:05:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yea, the video ended too soon for that
BobbyMcPrescott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keiuXB3dJ0E
MoonBasic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:55:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the award for best impersonation of Dennis Reynolds goes to...
3aTroop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source? Just asking for a friend...
BassCreat0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:03:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of the classic "But I Poop From There" line.
NSFW http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1640640666
gevarya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:18:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
some porno's actually score quite high on imdb like this one. Don't ask why I know
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Dennis's fucked up weather girl fantasy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iB6uL_3_mBA
greatguysg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take my breath away, Youth-in-Asia!
DerKaiser023 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis Reynolds was in porn?
josedjr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: porn scenes with no sources :(
I_cut_my_own_jib ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl+f sauce
0 results
wtf reddit?
ollee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than the entire body of Uwe Boll's work
Foxglove777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe I just sat here and watched this whole thing. Give me some "nighttime sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, so I can DIE medicine" please...
ssramsey513 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by Snu Snu!
Kauppaneuvos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah, this is the best one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpKDwWmvaP0
Onemoreoldguy53 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nurse Muffin and Nurse Trixie. They even have realistic character names.
sweggysheyla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i listen to goth
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... Source?
DangerDoodoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:11:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come up here, sit on my face and take my breath away This whole clip was so classy! Hahah
psychopathic_rhino ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like an early script for a Leslie Neilson movie.
Ihavenoclue111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis Reynolds' erotic memoirs got the movie treatment, I see.
MonolithJones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Matthew Modine suggested "Youth In Asia" as an alternate title for Full Metal Jacket to Stanley Kubrick.
vinnyd78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They throw rocks at me.
ekhyoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Took me a while to realize it wasn't Dennis.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I GUESS...YOU COULD SAY...HE WANTED TO GO OUT WITH A BANG
jeramyah73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh. So badly do i want to watch this. If only it wasn't dead silent at the dinner table
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The whole time I kept wondering if it was worth watching to the end. It was.
PB13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:12 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by Snoo Snoo!
0100110101101010 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:32 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss /u/StickleyMan :(
hiten_mitsurugi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:52 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The D E N N I S system is foolproof!
KrundTheBarbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:17 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, she knows the word conscientious but not euthanasia even though she works in a hospital? I call shenanigans.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:49 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your patient asian? lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:44 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DeathbyVagina
HueyLewisIsASquare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:56 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis Reynolds looks like shit
Pyrozr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:02 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snatch...Snatch never changes...
buliwyf42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If i read https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test correct this movie would pass the Bechdel Test. 1. There are 2 Women in the Movie. 2. They talk to each other. 3 . They talk about something what is not a men (Euthanasia)
wickedpissahboss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:32 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.
Tymorasbrothel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still one of my all time favorites https://youtu.be/yIEjYWC9Q64
brickmack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you ruin a pizza like that?
Thinkcali ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of my buddies went to Cancun Mexicao for spring break. One Asian Jeff One White Danny. The asian guy Jeff is a bit sensitive and he felt out of place being the only non-white in their group of spring breakers who were all Danny's friends.
While sitting at a bonfire on a beach the group of spring breakers began talking about euthanasia. The conversation turned into an arguement of how horrible euthanasia is, while others tried to justify the process. Danny is trying to convince euthanasia isn't the worst. All the while Jeff is quitely sitting at the bonfire feeling out of place.
This arguement goes on forever, until suddenly Jeff stands up and storms off the beach. Danny goes back to the hotel looking for Jeff but everything is gone. Jeff caught the next flight out of Mexico and headed straight back to San Francisco. How he got that flight is a bit murky and a different story, he met a guy who chartered him a plane, kind of suspect.
Anyways, Jeff won't answer Danny's calls for days. He avoids Danny at all costs. Until a few weeks later they're both at my house. Danny couldn't fathom why Jeff would storm off and leave Mexico without notifying anyone. Jeff replies with, I got tired of your racist friends talking about the horrors of youth in Asia. Danny started cracking up, euthansia Jeff! Not Youth! In! Asia!
tldr: The story of one man's thousand mile tantrum after misinterpreting euthanasia as Youth in Asia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
relevant
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that fucking Dennis
LarsThorwald ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The story is ludicrous. You can imagine where it goes from here.
Whiskey_Cures ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He fixes the cable?
LarsThorwald ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be Jeffrey, Fatuous.
PilkingtonPies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He fixes the cable?
LarsThorwald ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:42:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
ct450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's an honorable way to go.
brihamedit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahahaha.
Seenypeeny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this dvd, and have never seen this part of it. I always fast forward right to the sex. I wonder what else ive missed....
"Youth in Asia". Fuckin dying!! Bwahahah!
fuzzyshorts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:55:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's good stuff! That's quality goods!
dat_dope_boy_k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, two pages away on the front page...relevant.
Joe1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Young nurses in lust?
sign_on_the_window ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually legitimately enjoyed this. Not in a it's so bad way. I love the youth in Asia bit and the "I was born by the snatch and I want to die by the snatch".
xrudeboy420x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got hard
ThrowawayPervmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
CoolMissile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they throw rocks at me.
wildmetacirclejerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that dress was so tight. poor girl probably had to get it fitted with pins
Hope_Burns_Bright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The delivery of "They throw rocks at me" is spot-fucking-on
ZSZ77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a video were a man was looking for his stepdaughter and he had a nice suit on. And he was calling her name all over the house then all of a sudden he's standing in a pool with his suit on yelling iggy. I had never had laughed so much.
TiggyTwoBit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PZptw1ueUY4
BobMuthaFuckinRoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That dude is hilarious.
Minihood1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
okay, yeah this is pretty bad. Talk of mercy killings is kinda boner killing. Nothing noteworthy though there are plenty of bad pornos...
BWAAHH HAAAHH HAHAHAHAHAH
oh my god that is fucking hilarious.
GodBorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:40 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm the cook"
gareiu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is your patient asian!?!?
never have that sound negative...
kinneroth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This acting is more believable than Nurse 3D.
Sly_bacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr2_gtHCGBM
Deckard__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought all porn films were silent..
momoster96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i would like to make like porn thats so full on natural with like backstories for the characters that people will be begging for sequels
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm imaging two bros arguing over porn:
"You can't like Back Door Sluts 9, man! Rebecca cheated on her man with the pool boy!"
"Fuck you man! Rebecca had every right to sleep with him! Carlos slept with the gardener in Ass virgins 4!"
"Carlos was discovering his homosexuality! They were on a break at the time but not when Rebecca got reamed by the pool boy!"
momoster96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:38 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PORNCEPTION: THEN!, the two bros experiment with homosexuality as they were in college... with the sequel being few years after college, and the bros have gotten married to their own female partners (each bro got a wife). BUT in the sequel they meet up first time in like years and then one of them suggest swinging... but in the middle of the swinging sex, the bros realize they are more into each other then their own wives... which means now they have to determine what to do, leave the wives or never talk about it again?
titsnass01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Porn n strippers just another day on reddit
vin97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they steal the YouthInAsia line from Ali G or was it the other way around?
n3roman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 9th grade English, we were having debates about random topics. Our teacher asked us to read up euthanasia for the next class period. About 3/4 of the class thought she literally mean "youth in Asia".
halloweenaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing. Whoever wrote this deserves recognition.
spillitshootit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can anyone make a shorter version of this. Like the last 25 seconds ?
xaudionegative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first time in my life I will use the term "lol" and have it be accurate.
Tanggylord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautiful, Aeschylus himself couldn't have wrote better!
TONKAHANAH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god i lost it there.
l5555l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the film Jack Horner dreamed of.
DukeBruno123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, now my YT only shows me stuff that has something to do with porn and its confusing af
not-linda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was some seriously fantastic writing. Have the Zucker brothers migrated to porn?
BearCavalry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saved this thread. All this time I've wasted masturbating and watching people have sex while I was missing out on comedic gold...
IShouldGetAJob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would a porn movie start by talking about euthanasia.. not a topic that most people would want to think about in such a setting, and a very emotionally loaded one at that.. Jeesh..
EDIT: the last two sentences are golden though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was goddamn awesome!
I like that guys philosophy.
Dying by the snatch, hmmmm.
mrpanicy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still better written than the last Fantastic 4 movie.
Calluumm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can actually see her laughing during his lines which makes this 100x better.
thatfatgamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nurse: "Children?"
Patient: "They throw rocks at me :-("
KEK, I FUKKEN LOST IT!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear this is the dude from Always Sunny
airlaflair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see it too
Scout_Is_Sandvich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's not much funnier to me than people trying not to laugh
dustwetsuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's gotta be the best line I've heard
FoxyZach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The youth in asia lol. Thats probably the best line.
Diorallurexo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha this is amazing
Jdogy2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always laughed at one where the chick said "In my ass?! Isn't that going to hurt?" and the guy said "Oh yeah. (Laughs) It's going to hurt a lot."
zornathan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"But I poop from there!"
chowder138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasn't retro I would've expected Johnny Sins to be the guy.
cat_handcuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is 2001 retro?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:53:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's 15 years old. In porn years that's easily considered retro
cat_handcuffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. When I think "retro porn" I think big bushes and music that goes "wakka-chikka-waw-wow."
But you're right, I guess 15 years is like two generations of porn stars if you think about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's antique porn right there.
pirateofspace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was gold.
SuperPoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a beauty pageant where one of the contestants was asked about euthanasia. Her response, on stage, in front of hundreds of people, was the same as this. it was brutal.
crasyeyez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:11 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I admire the effort that went into writing this. They were given a premise and did their darndest.
shiftt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Dennis from Sunny's doppelgรคnger.
krtzmn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do we have sources for any of these?
skittlesMc9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The D.E.N.N.I.S. system seems to be working well for him
ChicagoShadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's an entire podcast dedicated to this stuff: Porn Minus Porn
random_redditor19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
youth in asia, especially the females, are really popular where i'm from.
admiral_snugglebutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing.
sighs__unzips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the longest buildup I've ever watched.
forelornporn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This movie is hard to find! Grrr.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by snu snu
Crimsonakd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:15 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was born by the snatch, and I want to die by the snatch! So come up here and sit on my face and take my breath away..
God now i wanna see the whole film.
buzzingbuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sir are mistaken. This poorly written German porn takes the cake. "What? No money?!? Suck a cock!?"
http://youtu.be/1oatH_gOQOk
ruok4a69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of creativity I want to support financially.
FatKidsRHard2Kidnap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hold it together man, youre tying to deliver the lines.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Dennis from its always sunny in Philadelphia
supermcballsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My god. This is the first porno I ever saw in my life. I was like 12 years old. Ahh the memories...
Swabia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a category in pornography. Yea, it's a throwback like NAACP, but that's what it's called. The movie was from the 80's based on the bush. I mean hair not G H W Bush.
speed_bag_ma_tits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those videos where you end up bursting out laughing.
Toadman34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious hahahaha
Gothmorg8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I regret clicking on this thread. I think.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:29 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Turn on the CC for extra hilarity
FiddlerofFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I only watch porn... Which makes me horny and reminds me that I have no one"
Just the way he says that
awsumesauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DEATH BY SNU SNU
MrAppleSpiceMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:31 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for these things?
JHG722 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ya_uJHdOtdc
foggy22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Treatment Roon"
antwonedw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh god that was bad.
i was prepared for it to be corny, but not that bad.
daneelthesane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.
Laeryken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was absolutely beautiful. The youth in Asia!
corrigun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Category-Acting
Maryjane42069 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes the rocks.
Danosaur421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They throw rocks at me"
PunctuationsOptional ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First off, bookmarked.
Second, I didn't know porn could actually have some good dialogue. Do you guys know of any other porn movies that have some quality to it before the sex?
kcmattparker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muffin and Trixie/xy/cksie/cksy/xxxy discussing the complexities of the morality of euthanasia is something I'll never forget.
WWMD
thestartrekkerdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time to snatch victory from the jaws of deez NUTS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sauce?
savageordark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the sauce?
KubrickIsMyCopilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone is clearly an unappreciated film genius forced into porn writing by cruel economics.
markstachow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My all time favorite single liner was... "This is what dreams are made of".
exackerly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The harp music is a nice touch.
bratzman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:54 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I did not know you could find actual porn on youtube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmydcsXuO-Y
fedupwithpeople ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, TWO four-syllable words in one scene??
Jmarley99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmFp0I8AZqw&ab_channel=10Gertrude10
Dalearnhardtseatbelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty funny.
Demoness68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I memorize the words to the porno movies, It's the only thing I wanna believe -MM-SIutgarden
Kinda_Crazay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like my friend when she is drunk. She is currently out of a job too. I know what job to suggest to her now. If she doesn't want to perform, she can just write.
MosleyPhil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have not laughed like that in my whole life .
jakethedog53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems appropriate...
BoomLiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Disagree: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N7tSzwcA7w&feature=youtu.be
Iron_Bawls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Porn has scripts? like with actual plots and shit?!
Morrinn3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They throw rocks at me." That was hilarious.
theragequiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Written by Dennis Reynolds
TroxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z69I04fDmwE
way more better ...
Damosgirl16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have so many reasons to live....all those underage youths in Asia
Psalms137-9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:53 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cant stop crying... it is like beautiful poetry that moves that heart.
boltz86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a Quentin Tarantino film?
Canadian_Infidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I thought lemon-whores was good.
For the uninitiated:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mI407Uks4
WeaselSlayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see her laughing when he says it. Hahahah.
just_wanna_downvote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/fUis9yny_lI?t=47
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
audio only. Santa punishes a naughty boy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I personally think it should have gone to "How Do You Like My Car, Big Boy?"
Willingflesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got plenty of reasons to live.
Like what, my health!
ZazzooGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone have the link to the full video it has to be just as funny
adorablesexypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What in the fuck did I just watch?
Ahmad_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:25 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope porno acting never improves ๐
TankEpidemic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:28 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
malachilenomade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muffin & Trixy?! Jesus, that's not even trying... why didn't they just write their names as 'cumdumpster' and 'snailtrail?'
HAH! And apparently you can hear the moans of a dying patient from about 20+ feet away and through a closed (what sounds like a sealed) door.
SenorDanimal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, I don't think Trixie and Muffin are real nurses.
hollis10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Just... wow.
titations ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...I want to know what happens next
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They fuck, and he is either cured or dies after cumming, I like the second one better.
Chode36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtff i don't see any trailer trash! Lies I tell you LIES!
yo58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:50 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death by Snu Snu!
SuccessPastaTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm really wired, but... I'm also really tired, how about we go back to my place and I eat out yo pussy?"
thatdamnedrhymer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha ha ha ha. Clever. I am not disappointed.
roguesamurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:51 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yhu
Dengar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:00 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis?!
hammersmith88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The writing and line delivery is top notch. A rare alignment in porn.
DangerDoodoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:42 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come up here, sit on my face and take my breath away This whole clip was so classy! Hahah
ajleichty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis Reynolds starred in a porno?
Liget17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I watched this one before!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see an AMA from the guy who wrote this gem.
IamAOurangOutang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, I'm going to fap to all these weird porno now.
a_vasquez96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Link?
DizzyArcher01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:58 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The actress playing the nurse can't keep a straight face at the end. You can see her laughing lol
TheLongLostBoners ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:21 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpected
LordApocalyptica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This weirdly sounds like a bad kids sitcom from the 90's
Liz_zarro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:17 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Take an asprin or something"
"only if you got some of that sniffling, sneezing, coughing, achy, stuffy head, fever, so I can die medicine."
I lost it at that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:18 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source!
lnickelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what about the one where at the end of the video it says the girl died while pregnant and that the pizza guy still bangs sluts to this day.
TheSpaceNeedle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:43 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet they snubbed leo at the oscars in this category too
GodleyX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:04 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are born by the snatch. Made men by the snatch. Undone by the snatch. Pretty much the way every man wants to go.
RamboSuicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:36 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol @ that Nyquil reference
Tycoda81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the actress chuckling when he delivers that last line
comanon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing? I hope this becomes a thing.
nonofax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:41 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok that was actually funny. Didn't expect that
Whereisthecow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:44 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Compelling stuff
Rydel6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:20 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slow fap gradually speeding up to a full standing ovation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:33 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There goes my youtube recommendations.
niyao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's was amazing
aliengiraffe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL THAT how you write a story!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So amaze lol
ZacharyCallahan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious
Xorbis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:08 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see all these wonderful discussions, but does anyone have the source for extended context?
CanIHasPussay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For science
Xorbis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:13 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most certainly.
the_great_ashby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:22 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wtf is Dennis Reynolds doing in a 80/90's porno?
DMG1991 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was amazing....
yaosio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:49 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's My Bush! did a much better youth in asia joke. Then again, not everything can hold up to that masterpiece.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:37 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the newest episode of IASIP?
lilylemony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:14 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recently watched Deep Throat and was delighted by how damned funny it was, especially Harry Reems. I was more turned on by how charming and witty he was than with the actual sex in the film!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:02 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I find myself wanting to watch porn for the script now.
usrevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this just kept getting better and better and i actually started laughing at the end.
evenios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:34 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
now you have an excuse to say you only watch it for the storylines :-p
PM_ME_YOUR_BEST_GIF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:32 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TREATMENT ROOM
Timmay13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:05 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/watchitfortheplot would love this!
SnigglyWiggly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never knew Glenn Howerton did porn before sunny..
NeonRx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes my brother. That is how you go out. Goddamn I love porno acting. Truly laughed my ass off.
Eat_The_Muffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would pay for this
harrypalmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:47 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I canโt believe they actually built sets for this!
Toshiba1point0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"treatment room" rriiight..lol
outsideupside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you take an aspirin or something?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH GRAND WIZARD! PLEASE GIVE ME SOME POSITIVE REP!
apophis150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:26 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this shit real? Its pure gold!
ouroboric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Always Sunny's Lethal Weapon 5
TutonicKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was euthanized at children
_Aj_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:52 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting "with a bang" at the end. I was considerably caught off guard.
adviceKiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:01 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lemon stealing whores
Sm0keyBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, is that Rob Lowe?
the_oskie_woskie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the repeated moans. lol
yele62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...ever
His_Name_Was_Lola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And people ask me why I'm afraid of hospitals
downnheavy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that the guy from "its always sunny in Philadelphia"?
hiphopapotamus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:52 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cunt-ientious"
Gold!
Ancguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:45 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
m0na-l1sa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:03 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought his line was going to be "coming out of a vagina"!
Ba_dongo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:59 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The they throw rocks at me retort was genuinely funny.
Nerdl_Turtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:08 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a German one which is even better: https://youtu.be/z69I04fDmwE
Translation: Woman: This is the fuse box which makes problem all the time. Man: Yes yes, but why is straw lying around here? Woman: Why are you wearing a mask? Man: So suck my dick.
Tyrone_Shekelstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:08 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sheeeeiiiit
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:06 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like god-damned shakespere for a Porno. Here is my personal vote for best writing Lemon Stealing Whores
ALCxKensei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:02 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to make an /r/pornacting
KalBaratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:31 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the vid, spent time with the vid, and was really disappointed my man didn't die at the end. He was a funny, cool dude but the story set it up for him to die. You don't just foreshadow something like that then completely blow it off. It completely kills the tension. 8/10
bensawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:43 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit i actually saw the sequel to this in high school.
it had belladonna in it sooooo yeah i dont remember the writing that well.
SubMack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:28 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck Leo's oscar this man deserves one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO
Hepheastus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:18 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most of a porno I have ever watched.
Jefftheotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:36 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Children?
"They throw rocks at me"
ChaosFerret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:08 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-slow clap-
LittleMonstersII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Children?" "They throw rocks at me"๏ปฟ
Null225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:54 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty good. But have you seen the Bathroom Invader?!
"Oh hey, your dad didn't tell me you were in the shower, I'm just here to pinch off a long loaf."
Deadpool_irl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:49 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis?
TheScienceNigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:50 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my vote
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:46 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than lemon stealing whores.
Rafaeliki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:09 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That euthanasia joke is stolen from the Ali G Show.
Tikkikun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:08 on May 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is gold
Snairy_Hatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:23 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like my username could be used to make a relevant comment but fuck it.
iamhim25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:38 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay i'm seeing a lot of links to what people think are the best porn in here... and they're commendable. But I bestow you with the greatest gem i've ever come across...
10/10 acting
10/10 music
10/10 logic
skip to 1:30 NSFW
brickmack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:12 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got a different link? It just redirects straight to terraclicks ads, and my adblocker isn't helping
iamhim25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:06 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I use adblocker and it works for me, it's on a pretty sketchy random site, so unfortunately I don't know where else to see it lol. I wanna download it and re upload it
Noumenon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was able to see it, so it's not a fake link. I didn't see anything funny though, except the level of zoom.
1RedReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:30 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol what the hell
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:10 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the malware.
hungrylung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:16 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Utterly fucking brilliant.
Logan_Mac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:45 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest that youth in asia joke was genius
Tastygroove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on May 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell her... If I stop moving, then you can worry... Until then, get up there and fuck the fuck my face with your pussy.
homo2016 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:29:35 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree. It was a good 2-3 minutes and I didn't see any fucking whatsoever. And there was a scene with two chicks and neither of them took their tops off!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:47:09 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Youth in Asia. Great line. Gonna use it.
UnbakedMango ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:58:27 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best one in my opinion.
https://youtu.be/c6vwum4EFQw
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:59:56 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NOW I'M IN YOUR ASS YEAH!
tattooed_n_high ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:08:03 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do ppl actually watch the acting on porno movies?? I just fast forward to the sex :)
TheBizoBeaver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:15:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not.. In high school, the teacher brought up euthanasia and a girl in class said. "What's wrong with the youth in Asia?" and we all just sat silently... Poor girl
hammnbubbly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:55 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nina Ferrari. An all-time favorite.
pussybulldozer_69 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:46 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IS THAT FUCKING DENNIS REYNOLDS?!?!
milldent01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:19 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was like a cross between him and Daniel Tosh
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:57:07 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once farted in a girls mouth.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:55:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Jowitness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:24 on May 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree