....were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?

Maybe next time you can just walk over to the interviewer, bear hug them from behind while leaning back so that their legs are dangling in the air and scream, "I will not let you down!"

When the hell did a firm handshake and a good bye turn into downing a bottle of hot sauce. Im beginning to see why you dont have a job op.

How high were you when you came up with this idea?

Empty the bottle, rinse it out. Now add tomato juice/soup. You can't even get this right.

on behalf of the person who had to interview behind you, thank you.

Your other interviews have gone poorly because you are the kind of person who thinks turning around as you're leaving doing a trick and saying "I can handle the heat," is a good idea. That is some shit straight out of the worst sitcom you can imagine. And no one on planet earth would ever in a million years hire the guy who does this... Even if you pulled it off. Sorry to be a dick, but Jesus Christ

Kevin trying to get a job.

Sounds like something that would happen on It's Always Sunny.

There might never be a better time to say:

the stupid... it burns...

I so wish security cameras could have picked this up. This would be youtube gold.

The nice thing is that if this story is true, and the interviewers see it, they're gonna know exactly who you are, because we can be pretty certain this was a one time event in human history.

calling /r/thathappened.

People want to hire people who can act normal, not circus clowns. I once heard that the guys who started Sony were courting some investors. They put on a party for them, dressed up like clowns, and gave the guys a great old time. They received compliments on the party. It had been great! they were told.

Later, when they visited the investors in their offices, they were politely told that there was no interest in investing with them to get their business started. They commented, "but you seemed to like us so much during the party we gave for you!"

"Yes," one of them commented. "But we want to invest in businessmen, not clowns."

I cannot imagine how you ever thought anything as stupid as this -- even if you had been successful -- would do anything other than convince those guys that you were a self-important prick who would do anything [stupid] to make an impression.

You, yourself, as a serious person, are much better and more important than any stunt. Grow up.

Jeeze... I can't imagine why you're struggling to find a job...

Looks like you actually can't handle the heat.

Please don't breed.

This didn't happen

The goggles, they do nothing!!!

did hot sauce have anything to do with the job?

You should have dumped out 3/4 of the hot sauce beforehand and filled it with water instead. Or more. Or heck, dump it all out as long as the bottle is stained.

Wow, you are retarded.

Never laughed so much to a TIFU post in my reddit-life. Thank you.

The stories here are getting ridiculous. Try again, OP.

Bullshit. No one is stupid enough, not only to think that this would make them more likely to get a job, which it wouldn't you would just look crazy, but also not testing it?! Bullshit.

This is probably the first TIFU that has actually made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

I don't even care if this is real or not, my face hurts from laughing so hard

TYFU by this

I imagined that they would be really impressed and wowed by such a performance.

Immediately after reading this I googled Starving African Children.

Please do not reproduce.

Well, that is probably the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Wish I could tell you it's going to be okay, but this brand of stupidity will stick with you for life.

Probably fake, but freakin' hilarious.

Thanks for helping me laugh right before my phone interview.

I don't give a damn if you really did this or not. This has to be the hardest I've laughed in years. Thanks for that. Have an upvote.

I found Kevin!!

Almost on par with the dude who smoked pot during his interview and asked his interview if he wanted a hit.

Sorry bruh but that has to be the dumbest thing I have ever heard of and I'm friends with a dude who thinks its a smart idea to smoke weed near a Sheriff's office.

This is without the shadow of a doubt the most asinine thing i have heard in a long while, even if it worked they be like "wow, that guys a fuckin weirdo" not oh wow i bet hed be a great asset to our company

DAMNIT!!!!! I was waiting for the end where you still tell them you can handle the heat. Now you have to go do it correctly. I'll wait.

Next time try passing your idea through friends first. If you lack them ask reddit.

No. No, you didn't.

Did you do a practice run at home first?!

Maybe the reason you're not getting these jobs is because you're an idiot with horrible ideas?

Required competencies: - professional attitude - good teamwork skills - reliability - high hot sauce tolerance

There's one more thing you need to know about me. I'm just about to be sick on your floor.

Lol this seems like an Always Sunny episode

I thought it could be risky, but might work out.

You should stop thinking.

[deleted]

So I just found out I have an evil laugh..LOL this story was hilarious

Why? Dude, why?

http://i.imgur.com/VXTfQRX.gif

You should be the 5th guy in the Anchorman posse. You and Steve Carrell's character hang out a lot.

Plan worked, they will remember you.

It takes effort to be that bad at interviews

Ahhhh, couldn't handle the cayenne pepper, huh?

How do people come up with these "great ideas?"

the name of the bottle? the aristocrats

In what world would that ever be an impressive feat during a job interview?

To second that, you are fortunate enough to get a job interview and you do that?! Come onnnnn OP

Kevin?

Why would you not just fill the bottle with a juice or pop that looks like hot sauce...

Interviewers, there was more than one?

What job where you applying for?

Why chugging hot sauce?

Did you think he would be like "Oh great, he can chug a bottle of hot sauce. I am definitely going to be able to rely on him filling his TPS reports on time"

They should have hired you as a janitor to clean up your filth...and then fire you.

As someone who has had the displeasure of conducting an absurd amount of interviews this past year i can actually say that's not the worst. Don't feel bad, the interviewer probably knew what you were trying to do. If you need IV tips let me know.

At least, now you KNOW you're a dumbass.

10/10 would watch this sitcom.

You're interviewing for a job not joining a frat. Good lord man.

Don't even care if it's true or not, laughed my ass off.

I can't believe this is true. But I choose to believe it is. And it is the funniest thing I have ever read on TIFU. Seriously. Hilarious. Will read again and will share this story with others for generations to come!

This really isn't a bad idea. The problem is that you didn't prepare properly. Next time open the bottle before hand and pour out the contents and rinse the bottle out. Then fill it with water and red food dye.

Wow. I mean, I know this is a TIFU post but seriously, I'm actually kind of stunned that you wouldn't think to practice beforehand, you know, to see if you can handle guzzling liquid fire before trying it at a goddamn job interview.

And you haven't been hired yet?

Are you Andy Dwyer?

MAN, I lost it at (but stuttering)

You, Potato Guy, and Mark the Laser Tag guy should all meet up one day.

Congratulations OP you just went past full retard.....

And now we know what happened to Kevin after high school...

Hes like Andy from Parks & Rec

I live in Louisiana, but I have to admit Franks Red Hot is so much better than Louisiana hot sauce.

OP, why didn't you just empty the bottle and fill it with like... Red watered down jello? Or just Gatorade. SOMETHING.

I would have employed you simply because you were different.

Although I would also have taken the cleaning out of your first months check

I'm pretty sure he got the "standing out" part right.

A few seconds before I threw up all over the floor I knew it would happen, but I tried to hold it back. I couldn't.

I threw up all over the floor.

You are quite the raconteur.

Proof that 50% is below average yet again. If you are extremely lucky your best bet for the rest of your life is "Do you want fries with that?"

I wish I could believe someone isn't this stupid - but - there are the darwin awards

I came up with the following idea: [...] Then pull out a bottle of hot sauce, down the entire bottle, slam it onto the ground and say "I can handle the heat." Nod confidently, leave the room. [...] I imagined that they would be really impressed and wowed by such a performance.

Are you retarded?

I threw up all over the floor.

Yes you are.

First tifu I've laughed really hard at in quite a while. Bravo op

This is one of the best things I've ever read in TIFU. Good work bud.

I'm sorry to say OP, but seems like you could NOT handle the heat

What was the interview for? Because unless it was an intern position as the night janitor at a McDonald's, I feel like you weren't even qualified to be in the interview room, let alone to actually be considered.

OP, here's a tip. It generally helps to not act like a retard when you're being interviewed for a job.

In all fairness I have a friend who went into a job interview and didn't answer any questions. All he did was whip out his ukelele and play a song he'd written about how good he would be for the job. He then shook the interviewers hand and left. He got a call back later that day offering him the job. At least you have a story to tell my man!

I did a similar thing when i was being sentenced for murder. What the judge didn't know is that I got my hands on some chunky peanut butter, mixed it with nutella, and shoved it in my butt. Before he had a chance to send me up the river, i put my hand in my trousers and took a big fistful and ate it, right there in open court. The judge immediately determined I was mentally unsound and remanded me to a psych institution.

Thank you!! Best story all day! Literally made he laugh, really loud. Thank you!!

shiiiiit I can't stop laughing and my boss is behind me. HELP

Did you eat paint chips as a kid?

Bullshit detected.

This didn't happen.

How do people think like this?

What a trooper, holy shit

Even if you thought this would work... why not tomato juice?

This is the most 4Chan/real life thing I have read in a while.

if this is true, this was one of the moments most deserving of video monitor recording ever.

If it's any consolation if you'd have pulled this off smoothly Swanson style I would've hired you. Or if it had gone like this I'd have been laughing about it for weeks.

i hear they're hiring for Dumb and Dumber 3 movie, we think you should apply.

Michael Scott is job Hunting again?

Omfg dude this is probably the best TIFU I've ever read (even though it may not be true). Cheers to you DrankHotSauce-Regret

i would hire you!

Holy shit. Man do I feel bad for you. Hope you've regained some confidence.

You're not yet hired but you already fired. Like literally.

Look at title. Yup he fucked up. Move to kitten picture.

But it's marketed as "Not too hot" so it doesn't sound that impressive. Should've done Mad Dog 357.

You should reaaaaally cut back on the drugs, man.

OP I think I know a frat house that needs a new janitor.

You could have totally filled the bottle with ketchup or something and pretended it was hot sauce.

Relevant

If it's any consolation OP, I was wowed by that performance.

You seem to be getting a bit of flack for this and although it was stupid (incredibly so), I haven't laughed this hard at a TIFU before.

The more I read the more I thought, "God damn it, stop it OP!"

The stupid is strong in this one.

People really need to start trying harder when making up stories. This is terrible.

If your goal was to stand out... mission accomplished!

wow. just, wow.

That's a pretty good idea that needs improvement.. Next time you should think of it as a gimmick; as in make them think you drank the bottle, or ingested it one way or another by having a nearly empty bottle. You would continue your routine as you described initially, so you'll do everything but drink it.

That is a mild hot sauce anyways. 3/10 for heat though 10/10 for Volume and willing to either A) puke or B) undergo awful shits later on (like buffalo wing shits, but worse).

Upvote for coining the term, 'Electric Indiana Jones'.

This sounds like a Focus Group on Hot Sauce gone wrong.

This is either (hopefully) fake, or you are a part of the special team.

And I do not mean special as in unique. I mean it as special.

Thank you for making me bust out laughing in the middle of a quiet break room. I'm sorry about your issue, though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuDqNLgVHv8 lol

It's TIFUs like this that don't need a TL;DR. They are just captivating the whole way through.

are you george castanza?

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

• [/r/TIFUBIS] XPost:TIFU by drinking an entire bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce at a job interview in a failed attempt to be impressive.

^{If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote or comment. Questions? Abuse? Message me here.}

This must have been horrible but thank you for the laugh.

poor guy.

Plot twist: He was interviewing for a hot sauce company.

this is my favorite

When you're umemployed for so long things play out better in your head then actually doing them. However, this was pretty stupid but thank you for providing me with lols after lunch time.

OP was stupid. Give me Gold now, please.

OP couldn't handle the heat.

Should have emptied the bottle and replaced contents with ketchup...

The gut wrenching unbearable awkwardness stopped me from reading this whole thing. Seriously OP, wtf...

I hope you're not looking for a job in a particular field, because hiring managers talk to each other, dude.

I'm sorry, but... wow. Did you have anybody in your life to act as a sounding board for this? Someone not even to tell you "That is a stupid idea" but just to stand there and listen while you talked about it and realized it was a phenomenally stupid idea on your own?

Because this is a new brand of stupid.

Look on the brightside. Even if you executed that idea perfectly you still wouldn't have gotten the job.

To those who don't think there are dumb enough people in the world... Have you ever worked any sort of retail job? If you did, you could completely fathom this story as being true.

stupid with a side of hot sauce. good read though

This needs to be a Dead Kevin skit.

You mean to tell me that the man who came up with this plan was struggling to get jobs?

Hey. Listen. That right there. That was some mother fucking ambition that would put Alexander the Great to shame. I hope you realize that this is a gift.
You do need to channel it better. but it is a gift, and don't you forget it.

I really hope you made this one up.

If I was one of the interviewers, I would've been laughing so hard seeing this happen, but still not hire you.

I hope this is true so hard.

Yea maybe the job force isn't for you

Are you LA beast?

Well you are an idiot. But I haven't laughed that hard at a story in quite a while. I don't think it happened, but you could probably write for sitcoms or comedy films.

I would like to have a person in my life like you.

Actually loled. Hahah thanks

It's not often that something like this has me cracking up, what a story. Thanks for being an idiot you

Are you a will Ferrell movie?

Soo.....what did you learn from this endeavour?

I umm...I could have told you, that you wouldn't have gotten the job...!

Seriously, I can't believe that you thought that downing a bottle of hot sauce would make you stand out for the right reasons. People want to be impressed but not by idiots downing hot sauce!

That said I laughed so much at your idiocy...so thank you!

incredible if real. def lol'd

I can't stop laughing omg.

Assuming you were going to do this, why didn't you replace the hot sauce in the bottle with tomato juice before the interview?

maybe you should practice next time

Should have filled hot sauce bottle with tomato soup. All would have been avoided.

Even if you did succeed. That isn't something you want to do during an interview and I wouldn't hire you.

OP should leave the kitchen...

Yeah, this never happened.

This is probably the best TIFU I've read in a while...

Even if this is fake, this is the best thing i read all day. Good job, man. lol

I'm having a hard time believing anyone could be this stupidm

Well, at least you don't need to wonder anymore. The rest of them were right not hire you.

I think this is a sign you need to be an entrepreneur. Maybe windshield washing?

today, bullshit smells like Texas Pete

Dude you should write comedy, this had me in tears!

At least you didn't shit your pants.

Let us know how it went the next day when you decided to take a dump? We will read it with Johnny Cash singing Ring of Fire in the background.

There is no way this is real. Someone like this cannot possibly exist in the world. No way.

You should drain the bottle and put in tomato juice.

...why

Ummm...um...um At least you handled the heat though, right buddy?

Look on the bright side, you'll never be forgotten.

Should have filled the bottle with tomato juice OP

This is obviously a troll post but nevertheless I laughed my ass off!

That made my day, 10/10

Dude ... that so funny ... reminds me of the Step brothers interviews ... lol

You should have filled it with dilluted ketchup or something

I'll just leave this here.

How high were you when this idea popped into your head?

Wow. I cringed reading that.

Stupid... Made up stupid

True or not, this is the funniest damn TIFU I've ever read. Partially because I can believe it because I know a guy that I can see doing this.

OP is the prince of all stupid! A stupid elite! OP is the legendary super stupid!

next time mix water and food coloring in a bottle with v8 and then do this

Okay......

Now we know why this dumbass hasn't gotten a job yet.

Lost my shit at "I can handle the heat." that is just so hilariously cringeworthy.

What's wrong with this world

I haven't laughed this hard in a long times thank you OP.

This is mythically dumb. Like out of a Will Ferrell movie. Damn.

Downing a bottle of hot sauce in a futile attempt to make yourself stand out to employers? Even if it did play out like how you imagined, I doubt that would impress employers to the point that they'd hire you.

Most people go for win-win; you went straight for lose-lose.

I'll hire you.

I'm sorry but I hate you for this.

Lol nope you have to be pro to pull that off with louisiana hot sauce. Was it the Louisiana brand?

Oh Kevin...

Don't care if this is fake or not, I laughed my ass off. Bravo.

And err, sorry you didn't get the job.

I don't care that this is completely fake. It's a hilarious story and completely absurd.

I laughed but I have a hard time believing this story.

If you could have actually handled the hot sauce, it might have been an okay idea.

Why not replace the hot sauce with watered down ketchup or something?

What... the hell?

Let me ask you this: had your little plan succeeded without you puking everywhere, what kind of reaction did you expect? Did you expect them to say "Bravo, /u/DrankHotSauce-Regret, you're just the man we need for this job. We deal with hot sauce quite a bit in our line of work."?

Ahahahaha top kek

dude you're a fucking idiot but at least you tried

Ahhh if only you would have just emptied the hot sauce and fillsd it with water... Add some red food coloring... You'd still look like a weirdo but would've saved yourself mucho embarrassment! I loved this story though... It's epically hilarious to me and I'd like to see it in a movie haha... Sorry though... Good luck on your next interview!

Nice going Dale Doback

I for one think you're a badass for this.

AMA Request - The people who interviewed OP

Glad you added that last line. Quite a cliffhanger without it.

Son, I frankly don't give a shit if this is fake or real because this is the best laugh I've had all year.

"After concluding the interview, after the hand shakes, etc, when leaving the room stop, turn around, and say "There's one more thing you need to know about me." Then pull out a bottle of hot sauce, down the entire bottle, slam it onto the ground and say "I can handle the heat." Nod confidently, leave the room."

LOLed.

The sauce is strong in this one

This is on a whole new level of fucking up.

You couldn't have dumped the sauce out and filled it with like water or something beforehand?

I guarenfuckentee they remembered you though plus one buddy your alright in my book

Filthy casual

We have a winner for TIFU and comment thread section of the year. I'm crying at work right now. I love you all

Well..

..at least you left an impression.

Awww, it's okay, you'll ace the interview next time! Spectacular fuck up by the way.

Ha

No, I know why you didn't get the job. You're an undiagnosed autistic. That's the only fucking explanation here.

Are you actually autistic? This would explain a lot. I mean even if this had gone perfectly it still would have been the most retarded thing ever seen.

10/10 would friend this dude

You didn't get the job... at first. Then the interviewers reminisced on your little stunt. It was actually pretty funny, it ended terribly but he must have really wanted this job they thought. They give you a try and you are eternally grateful, because in your mind that was the biggest disaster you ever had.

Soon, through a combination of hard work and unrivaled gratitude, you were now a senior member! One day your coworkers call you over, "DrankHotSauce-Regret, we're short on interviewers this week and we need you to interview this fellow who wants junior analyst position."

You glady oblige. The interviewee was a nervous wreck. Constantly stuttering. Flop sweat. Sweaty armpits. The works. After you finish with your interview, he meekly thanks you. As he starts get up out of seat, with a defeated look on his face, your sense of pity rouses you. "Wait, one second before you go", you run down to your cubicle.

You come back to find him shifting in his seat. You sit back down and look him dead in the eyes as you slam down an entire bottle of hot sauce right in front of him.

"You'd be okay for this job, but can you handle the heat?"

tl;dr You are the heat

I feel like your trolling. This is probably the dumbest thing I have ever heard of someone doing during an interview. I'm actually a little curious, what would you have done if you were the interviewer and someone did what you imagined. Would you be impressed, or weirded out. Even if you did exactly what you imagined and they somehow thought it was impressive, I'm not sure how chugging a bottle of hot sauce would relate to any job.

To be fair...if you pulled it off that's an instant promotion to CEO of in house swag.

From all the things that didn't happen, this is one of them.

Thank goodness you proved to them that you're an idiot so they didn't make the mistake of hiring you

I'm usually not one to say this, because I think there are a lot of crazy things that happen in people's lives that might not sound totally believable. But this is literally unbelievable. As in, I don't believe this ever happened.

This is fake.

I can...uhhh..handle the....BLEURGH!

Eh, job interviews are such a crap shoot anyway. Sometimes it feels like jerking off in their face is going to give you as good a chance as telling the truth.

Is that really your username?! You want to be constantly reminded of your antics everytime you sign into Reddit?!

Most people on here believe the story of a throwaway account by "DrankHotSauce-Regret". If you wanting to ever know what the apogee of trolling and Reddit retarded-ness is, we have come to the meeting point.

This never happend.

Today I Came Up With A Story

All these people berating you act like they haven't had a mistake in their lives. Yeah, this was stupid, but now you know better AND got some sweet, sweet karma

Bullshit.

I've gotta admit. This is brilliant! I wish it worked out for you, man. I'd hire you on the spot (if you pulled it off without throw up haha)

This can't be true. Nobody is this stupid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48rz8udZBmQ

The best part about this post: "I didn't get the job."
I think your problem more broadly is just not understanding context. Period. No one thought that you got the job. You didn't need to mention that detail (even as a failed attempt at a joke, if that's what it was). On what planet would the guy who threw up after randomly chugging hot sauce get the job? The context made it obvious that you failed to get the job in the same way that the social context of a job interview makes it very obvious that stunts of any kind are not appropriate (and that you should clean up your own vomit or at least offer to do so!). Next time don't model your job interviewing tactics after the montage from Step Brothers.

Why did you think that was okay

Yea, just stupid. And what makes you think a moronic act of testosterone would get you any points? You look more like a sad mental patient at this point.

This is the most autistic thing I have read today, thank you for your sacrifice and making me audibly laugh.

TIL there are actual retarded people on Reddit

Jesus christ I can't breath

That's one of the funniest fuck ups I've read in a while. Thank you.

No shit u mucked up

I usually think the people who are rude on reddit can go overboard sometimes, but come on op. This is the first TIFU I can remember reading where I agree with all of the rude comments.

Don't pull stupid shit during an interview. Make them believe you can actually do the job. All you've done is give them stories to laugh about later. You'll definitely be remembered, just not in the way you hoped. Even if it had succeeded I wouldn't have hired you. It shows me you're just desperate for any job and won't be a hard worker, just someone who looks for the easy way out.

Get your shit together.

If you woulda pulled it off, I would've hired you. No guarantee it would last, but you'd at least start. lmfao bro

Wow, a hilarious story that isn't a humble brag about having sex two years ago. I wish I had gold to give you, op.

Hey pal, you just roll in from stupid town?

IF this actually happened, you are an idiot. Pulling a stunt at an interview is the quickest way to not get the job. They will think that you are unpredictable and possibly mentally ill, neither of which are attractive qualities to an employer.

Can we get an AMA from one of the interviewers?

Holy shit was this stupid. And you should feel stupid, I certainly do for reading it.

This must be a thing with employers now. I had a similar experience just this afternoon. At the end of the interview after hand shakes etc. they say "There's one more thing we need to know about you." They hand me a bottle of Louisiana Hot Sauce and ask if I can down the whole thing. Of course I did and slammed the bottle down on the table.

"Well then congratulations Mister Whail welcome to the team!"

maybe drop the arrogant bullshit and the interviews might go better.

You're an idiot, but I am entertained.

This is one of the most pathetic things I have ever read. Honestly, whatever the job was you don't deserve it and I hope for your sake that this is another fake TIFU.

"I started to think I needed to do something during an interview to really stand out

be impressive (Check)

unique (Check)

and highly memorable. (Check) "

Good news OP, i think you nailed this one!

This is stupid enough to call bullshit, on top of the fact that Louisiana hot sauce is basically water and vinegar with very little to no actual heat involved.

.....this guy.......

You are fucking stupid.

I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Thanks, keep up the good work!

This just made me laugh out loud at the office.. Must say the idea is pretty cool in theory!

As someone that has downed a bottle of said sauce because I can, you need to really work on your spice game. It's far from being that hot. This is a massive FU and I hope you recover well and find a job soon. Good luck mate.

LOL that's brilliant.

It sounds like a bad commercial idea, fucking hilarious that someone would think Drink hot sauce, quote awesome line

You definitely should have tried that shit at home first, and realised it was ridiculous...

Orrrrr the best thing would have been to refill the bottle with water but keep the bottle looking like it still has hot sauce in, like painted glass or something. Misdirection like that could work for magic tricks, but not interviews :)

Good job George Costanza!

This is awesome. What was the job for? Next time you get an interview just shake their hand and say thank you for your time before you leave. Also i would have hired you if the job was for something to do with hot sauce

I would have hired you on the spot... you can pay mentally handicapped people less than minimum wage!*

*I just spelled wage "wadge", so maybe we would make cook coworkers

TL;DR much?

/r/thatHappened Complete bullshit. For every new bottle of any hot sauce, the beginning is a pain to get any out (comes in a few drops). Nice try but "guzzling" would require the bottle to have been partially empty already.

Are you autistic?

This...may be the greatest TIFU I've ever read