TIFU by enraging the parents of my girlfriend by pretending not to know what a potato is.

Minguseyes · 7387 points · Posted at 09:47:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Invite your girlfriend to meet your parents. Have your father take her aside and ask if potatos were served at the dinner with her parents. When she says yes, he looks alarmed, mutters something about "wanting to keep them from him" and never mentions the subject again.

Wine-ot · 1192 points · Posted at 11:34:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thats if he still has a girlfriend...

Kashakunaki · 1759 points · Posted at 12:19:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She doesn't really seem like a keeper if she can't handle a good ol' fashioned potato joke.

alexanderpas · 1087 points · Posted at 13:16:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

she was from latvia.

[deleted] · 321 points · Posted at 13:53:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

tinyOnion · 6 points · Posted at 17:42:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is life.

EXTSZombiemaster · 4 points · Posted at 19:10:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is love

dick_tales_woo_hoo · 3 points · Posted at 17:32:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And life is good.

ThatGuyBradley · 0 points · Posted at 17:54:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No potato just politburuea.

Vlaji · 222 points · Posted at 14:24:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If she really was, OP fucked up really bad. Baked potatoes are by far the most popular dish in Latvia. Latvians don't play when it comes to potatoes. I know because I'm Latvian.

alexanderpas · 255 points · Posted at 16:00:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You mean potato. There is no such thing as potatoes in Latvia.

Vlaji · 159 points · Posted at 16:59:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't you dare threaten me with potato shortage

[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 02:22:29 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank me later.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 03:47:02 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Anonymous_99 · 5 points · Posted at 10:11:11 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/latvianjokes

Kenyanguyhere · 2 points · Posted at 11:27:07 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks for this

kerplow101 · 2 points · Posted at 02:06:31 on March 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was wonderful

Cavemanfreak · 2 points · Posted at 11:27:43 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is this late enough? Thanks!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:32:33 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

*slow clap*

sean0507 · 1 points · Posted at 08:09:08 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

No potato, only... Hold on, is this joke not dead yet?

Volatilize · 4 points · Posted at 17:33:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do not worry about cold, though.

Always is cold. Cold not let you down.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 02:20:40 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Such is life.

IRL_Potato_AMA · 1 points · Posted at 02:40:33 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You. I like you.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:41:19 on February 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

Baked potatoes or fries are the best.

mirrorwolf · 5 points · Posted at 16:29:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato ignorance is no joke in Latvia. Potato ignorance mean death.

Mactoshdog · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

her parents are clearly from Ireland.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:46:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry, but Latvia isn't in Ireland.

SquirrelyB · 6 points · Posted at 14:06:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Latvians could be a potato loving people as well.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:30:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

It was actually a subtle joke directed towards the Irish potato famine.

Edit: Not sure why some of you feel you have to downvote this, it was a reference, not a joke about the potato famine. Grow up. Regardless, you should have noticed my name before you wasted your time.

whatifitriedthisname · 5 points · Posted at 16:12:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As an Irish person I find that pretty tasteless...just like potatoes.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 16:30:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What? Too soon?

whatifitriedthisname · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

170 years too late actually

efie · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:30 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://25pillsaday.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/elderly-fall-13069325352.gif

autowikibot · 1 points · Posted at 14:30:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Great Famine (Ireland):

The Great Famine (Irish: an Gorta Mór) was a period of mass starvation, disease and emigration in Ireland between 1845 and 1852. It is sometimes referred to, mostly outside Ireland, as the Irish Potato Famine because about two-fifths of the population was solely reliant on this cheap crop for a number of historical reasons. During the famine approximately 1 million people died and a million more emigrated from Ireland, causing the island's population to fall by between 20% and 25%.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^Irish ^Lumper ^| ^Tullig, ^County ^Clare ^| ^Castle ^Richmond ^| ^Frederick ^Douglass ^and ^the ^White ^Negro

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

MadlockFreak · 1 points · Posted at 18:50:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ireland?

CptnStarkos · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She must be terrified of comrades comin knockin' at her door.

SoapyLlama · 1 points · Posted at 18:26:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If only she were Irish...

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dead dog is no longer suffer.

aDAMNPATRIOT · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks

Sn0wCh1ld · 1 points · Posted at 21:09:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was from Ireland

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:11:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Cruel joke...

BlueCrystals_ · 1 points · Posted at 23:17:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I knew I would end up seeing a Latvian Potato post in this thread somewhere.

taomon · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i might need some context here. are potatoes kind of a thing in latvia? Like in ireland?

kaukus · 2 points · Posted at 17:05:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's become a bit of a Latvian schtick lately.

alexanderpas · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Try /r/outoftheloop

sahuxley · 7 points · Posted at 15:06:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's what I was thinking. OP actually dodged a bullet with a humorless family.

manhobi · -2 points · Posted at 19:39:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No. You must be a real weirdo if you believe your comment. pretending to not know what a potato is, is not funny. at all. and to keep up a ridiculously lame joke after its clearly not landing AND no one believes you, is autistic as fuck. OP needs to learn not to be a social retard. the dad overreacted, sure, but god damn OP is an idiot.

sahuxley · 7 points · Posted at 19:41:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Glad I'm not dating you, either.

Kashakunaki · 2 points · Posted at 09:31:29 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think he's related to that humorless family and just taking it a bit harshly.

manhobi · -3 points · Posted at 20:15:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

damn. I was just about to invite you over for dinner with my family. carrots will be served. maybe you can make some terrible joke about not knowing what a carrot is. it will totally land. cause that's a hilarious joke.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:01:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Kashakunaki · 3 points · Posted at 22:28:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hey everyone! I found the angry dad's account.

BaghdadAssUp · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I agree with you but I think he was joking.

the_toaster_lied · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

After reading the comment again... Dammit... I think you might be onto something.

The-Mars-Travolta · 2 points · Posted at 16:36:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This. It's a classic bit harkening back to Charlie Chaplin in The Gold Rush!

"What are these bizarre things? They appear to be tap shoes for utensils, yes? Indeed, that is what they are."

-Charlie Chaplin in National Treasure Zero: The Gold Rush (1901)

orthotraumamama · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wondered where Abe Simpson got it from.

takealeek · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She sounds like a spud to me

workaccount53 · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP forgot to mention he's Irish.

vandy17 · 1 points · Posted at 22:26:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Irish chick?

comunque · 1 points · Posted at 14:28:58 on January 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

Give this man gold

ysopotato · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:17 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't follow...

fuidiot · 1 points · Posted at 21:28:21 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wonder what quality video it took.

Neb01 · 1 points · Posted at 22:27:18 on July 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

That classic style of wit... ;)

Co-Owner · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:21 on February 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

Had to up vote you to get that point count

unreadit · 1237 points · Posted at 11:41:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Excellent solution

bigtruckchuck · 358 points · Posted at 14:11:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hope your dad is a bro. It's time to take one for the team. This is the only way out.

Montgomery0 · 144 points · Posted at 15:48:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's dad.

happystamps · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:54 on February 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

"You got a lot of gifts, but meeting parents just isn't one of them"

silverblaze92 · 216 points · Posted at 16:59:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If I were a father, I would do this for my son. Not because I would expect it to work, but because it is fun to fuck with people.

nb4hnp · 52 points · Posted at 20:52:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I mean, he already has the perfect setup. All he has to do is play a small part. It's like getting all the glory of fucking with people with 1/8th the effort.

diphji · 7 points · Posted at 18:20:35 on February 8, 2015 · (Permalink)

and we get to read the awesome stories coming out from it. win - win situation!

nb4hnp · 9 points · Posted at 22:01:05 on February 8, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really wish this would be one where OP comes back with some great follow-up stories.

TheIncredibleHurlk · 2 points · Posted at 14:17:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you

MessedupMakeup · 88 points · Posted at 11:32:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is perfect.

rubybooby · 206 points · Posted at 11:54:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I lost it at this fuck

This_Land_Is_My_Land · -7 points · Posted at 13:30:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

..Your virginity?

Well, at least you'll lose it. OP won't. He doesn't even know what a potato is!

Edit: It was a joke at his lack of punctuation. Calm the calamity that is your mammaries.

BaddestBrain · 0 points · Posted at 21:52:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

BETTER GO FIND IT

OhMy8008 · -1 points · Posted at 16:45:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I did too. The types of responses that Id give gold too, if I still had a credit card

OssiansFolly · 10 points · Posted at 13:35:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Go with this. OP, you are already raw dogging the situation so you may as well go balls deep down every hole you can.

Mash_Ketchum · 9 points · Posted at 08:41:56 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Better yet, have your parents also pretend not to know what a potato it.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 15:12:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I say leave it vague but worrying, like "We agreed we'd never eat potatos after...the incident."

moonlight_kingdom · 5 points · Posted at 12:16:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pls OP, pls! Hahahaha

Scannerk · 3 points · Posted at 12:55:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, that sounds good.

NeoMegamanX · 3 points · Posted at 14:38:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"You see dear, he's not really my son, before he was born his mother was on her way home late a night where she was ambushed by a gang of potatoes and raped by them. We don't know who his real father is but I know it's one of those unshaped bastards'

Smekiz · 3 points · Posted at 14:41:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Please do this, gaslight the fuck out of her

Kolbykilla · 3 points · Posted at 15:20:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You can tell them that you talked with your parents and found out they are both extremely allergic to potatoes so they were never brought into your house at all therefore you never ate them. Tell them sorry, that you honestly had no idea...

iamnotsurewhattoname · 3 points · Posted at 15:56:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell her your family's from Latvia

El_Morro · 3 points · Posted at 19:06:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I knew he was going to have to find out one day, but not like this... not like this..."

uscjimmy · 3 points · Posted at 12:26:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

genius. this is the best solution if he still has a girlfriend.

oofam · 2 points · Posted at 13:36:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

These are some shutter Island level mind games.

MattxAus · 2 points · Posted at 13:55:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I want him to try this, just to find out what would happen next..

Summort · 2 points · Posted at 14:10:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Please do this op

Phantom_316 · 2 points · Posted at 14:10:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is great.

WIDE_OPEN_BEAVERS · 2 points · Posted at 14:29:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like a fun game "honey let's see if we can raise this kid until the age of 18 before learning about (blank). Depending on the noun it could be quite an undertaking. "How the fuck do you not know the moon exists!?"

pm_me_ur_vajj · 2 points · Posted at 14:41:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or when he was a child is was highly allergic and wanted to avoid them at all costs

itsmyst · 2 points · Posted at 15:09:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Someone who is not me should give this man gold!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:26:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is, in my opinion, the only thing left to do OP! Best option so far.

truth__bomb · 2 points · Posted at 17:16:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some Costanza level shit. And I love it.

Pandalite · 1 points · Posted at 15:45:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your best bet probably would be to come clean to your girlfriend, apologize, and then ask her how to repair things with her parents. She might not be forgiving, but you don't have anything to lose, and I don't want to contemplate what sort of apology you might come up with on your own.

littlestblue · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

nah man, just break off with an expression of surprise and fear and yell

"HOOOONEEEEY! We need to talk."

then walk off and into the bedroom and not come out.

beegro · 1 points · Posted at 18:09:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A golden idea if I do say so myself.

daybyday2 · 1 points · Posted at 18:10:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Too add to minguseyes, you should go potato mad. Buy a sack of potatos and invite her over and ask if she would like a potato, but say potato fucked up and try to pronounce it all kinds of ways

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:53:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also whenever you eat french fries or something with potatoes in it, take a bite and stop for a second. Give out a little "hmmph," look around a bit and say that's strange but continue eating.

AmericanParadox · 1 points · Posted at 20:32:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes! That is perfect!

fallouthirteen · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Alternatively, invite her to dinner and serve a bunch of dishes with potatoes in them (but not anything like baked potatoes where it looks like a potato) and call anything with potato by some other names. So serve mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, french fries, but don't use the word "potato" in the dish name.

youstokian · 1 points · Posted at 01:14:25 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"my father, who was in eastern Europe during the hard times, made a promise to his father that his own son's sons would never have to eat a potato. The old man was so sick of eating potatoes for his entire life he wanted some thing better for his family, but knew his own son was too daft to ensure the great grand son's diet was starch free. And now I have let him go and get fed the one thing my lineage has sworn to avoid. He must now be ... forgotten, the title of first born to his brother. I better get started on the paperwork."

throwaway63748583848 · 1 points · Posted at 05:02:16 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Even better, His dad takes her aside and tells her hes a compulsive liar.

Nisha_the_lawbringer · 1 points · Posted at 04:19:30 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is genius.

pubebiscut · 1 points · Posted at 06:05:57 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Brilliant.

Atilla-the-hun · 1 points · Posted at 20:27:16 on July 8, 2015 · (Permalink)

The issue with this is you will never eat potatoes with this girl ever again... and if you two get hitched, that mean no potatoes for life! No french fries, no scalloped potatoes, no tater tots, no little red potatoes, no baked potatoes..... hmm. I would get rid if her before things escalate any further.

Cool joke though!☺

manbearpigtruther · 0 points · Posted at 14:11:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahah this had me in stitches.

Have some silver! http://i.imgur.com/LETzE6V.jpg

Jawjuggler · 0 points · Posted at 12:58:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I lol'd.

2homelessboners · 0 points · Posted at 13:40:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You dont speak English right?

Only_says_thiss · -1 points · Posted at 13:34:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thiss

anotherspiff · 4162 points · Posted at 05:23:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When confronted about this horrible joke, insist it never happened with the same level of commitment.

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.

FlyingSwords · 1974 points · Posted at 08:59:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At this point, this is the best idea.

J-wasp · 1127 points · Posted at 10:01:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Continue to do this with something different every time you see them. "So what's this this giant chair thing we're all sitting on called again? Oh, a Couch! It's very interesting!"

aawebber · 1646 points · Posted at 10:27:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Tastes very strange!"

chancrescolex · 898 points · Posted at 11:26:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Get the fuck out of my house"

ENDragoon · 657 points · Posted at 11:54:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A 'house', oh interesting. Never heard of a house, looks pretty good.

JackFlynt · 529 points · Posted at 12:13:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes much better than the couch did.

JerroSan · 276 points · Posted at 13:46:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Get the fuck out of my house"

spamdaspam · 235 points · Posted at 14:15:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A 'fuck', oh that's interesting. Never heard of a fuck before, looks pretty good.

Elek3103 · 249 points · Posted at 14:45:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes much saltier then the house did.

[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 16:57:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Get the fuck out of my daughter"

Sn0wCh1ld · 13 points · Posted at 21:14:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Daughter? Never heard of a daughter. What is it?

Brainiacazoid · 9 points · Posted at 15:02:10 on July 7, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not sure, but it tastes nice.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:13:28 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Not mine. Get a blacklight in here and it'd look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

MoistMartin · 8 points · Posted at 17:18:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"get the fuck out of my daughter"

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:20 on June 20, 2015 · (Permalink)

A fuck? Nooo, I know what that one is.. Your daughter showed me a couple hours ago

itsmyst · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How does one leave a "house"?

ladymiyaa · 1 points · Posted at 00:15:15 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Get the fuck out of my potato"

Morgeno · 3 points · Posted at 14:55:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

8/10 With rice

twerkact · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank your for your suggestion.

jyhwei5070 · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

but not quite as good as couch with rice.

Plazma81 · 1 points · Posted at 09:25:09 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck yo couch.

Wait I think I did this wrong...

thirdlegsblind · 3 points · Posted at 12:15:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And just how do you leave this, how you say, house? A door...oh interesting.

Arge_101 · 6 points · Posted at 12:45:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

'Hearing' what a strange concept. Using your ears to translate sound waves into meaning.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 02:13:38 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

ENDragoon · 1 points · Posted at 11:12:43 on April 13, 2015 · (Permalink)

Trawling the backlogs, eh buddy?

Malak77 · 3 points · Posted at 14:00:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is this "fuck" you speak of?

bteh · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can show you the world, Shining, shimmering splendor!

chancrescolex · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you...

Kashakunaki · 3 points · Posted at 12:11:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I laughed so hard and loud at this and the above comment that I'm afraid I woke my roommates up at 5:00 in the morning.

Cm_Punk_SE · 14 points · Posted at 12:53:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh! a 'roommates', very interesting. What does it taste like?

OneMulatto · 1 points · Posted at 20:07:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never thought I would laugh so much about a potato joke. That part, "get the fuck out of this house" had me rolling.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:11:53 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

high-pitched squee

Ressotami · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

6/10 with rice.

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 16:57:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was only a matter of time

SSJwiggy · 0 points · Posted at 22:06:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I liked that po-tay-to better than this cow-ch"

Meredori · 1048 points · Posted at 11:21:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If he does that he can have this Amazing moment when the term "Couch Potato" finally has a full meaning to him.

Kashakunaki · 251 points · Posted at 12:12:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best single thought any human has ever had.

rburp · 132 points · Posted at 19:40:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Alright, pack it up human race, we're done.

Pwib · 9 points · Posted at 00:41:38 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/retiredspecieses

asertym · 1 points · Posted at 23:22:30 on July 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've been laughing for the last 5 mins already and its 2AM.

totes_meta_bot · 6 points · Posted at 00:50:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

[/r/retiredspecieses] /u/Meredori Retires the Humans

^If ^you ^follow ^any ^of ^the ^above ^links, ^respect ^the ^rules ^of ^reddit ^and ^don't ^vote ^or ^comment. ^Questions? ^Abuse? ^Message ^me ^here.

itwasmadeupmaybe · 1 points · Posted at 15:38:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this tastes like potato!

itwasmadeupmaybe · 1 points · Posted at 15:37:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

just start with the dead horse it will be easier to beat.

PMmeAnIntimateTruth · 1 points · Posted at 02:48:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Like this?

abzflabz · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a couch potato

EmmyJaye · 93 points · Posted at 09:57:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Ohh, noo... Must've been my evil twin."

itwasmadeupmaybe · 5 points · Posted at 15:39:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or idiot twin. sorry we try not to let him out.

JerBearX · 3 points · Posted at 14:41:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Grow a goatee and claim to be the good one.

bteh · 3 points · Posted at 15:03:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everyone knows goatee = evil twin, come on now.

EnragedTurkey · 1 points · Posted at 17:12:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Right, but if the good one is evil, than logic dictates that the evil one is good.

platypocalypse · 3 points · Posted at 12:31:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No dude, the best idea at this point is for this guy to break up with her and move to another state.

x1xHangmanx1x · 2 points · Posted at 12:34:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.

At this point, this is the truth.

PrimeIntellect · 1 points · Posted at 18:29:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ah yes the 'getting caught lying and responding by continuing to blatantly lie" technique, very effective

LeChefromitaly · -1 points · Posted at 11:49:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ahah op can't get more retarded

[deleted] · 413 points · Posted at 12:30:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pretend the dinner didn't even happen!

"Of course I know what potatoes are. I've always liked them... What dinner with your parents? Well let me tell you that I was home that night."

[deleted] · 159 points · Posted at 14:54:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I could see Op saying this.

[deleted] · 36 points · Posted at 16:13:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you: backfired on my face. I'll tell you how.

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point.

I can do more than imagine it.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:19:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Then direct her to /r/Glitch_in_the_Matrix

abjectsuccess · 3 points · Posted at 14:29:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell YOU that is genius

phoenix616 · 2 points · Posted at 15:41:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that this is the easiest way how you get people to think that you were on drugs.

CancerousGrapes · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:16 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never."

IceVest · 291 points · Posted at 12:31:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder

Implying OP doesn't actually have a brain disorder.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 18:09:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that I was aghast to hear such horrible things about OP.

straddle_that_line · 2 points · Posted at 21:12:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's good, play the sympathy card... "Sorry about the other night sir, see I have this condition and forgot to take my medication. I hope you understand."

Neebat · 2 points · Posted at 18:18:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At some level of commitment, it's always a brain disorder.

[deleted] · 95 points · Posted at 11:22:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think he's already ruined it with his girlfriend and her parents, he may as well go out with a bang.

Do this, OP.

BlueStary · 6 points · Posted at 13:07:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I was really high and honestly don't remember"

HockeyFightsMumps · 9 points · Posted at 13:57:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A brain disorder works. Actually, he could straight up say he has a brain disorder, not just suggest it. He takes medication, but occasionally his amnesia kicks back in. A formal apology stating that "at the time, I legitimately didn't know what a potato was, but of course I do now" may work. He could even throw in a bullshit story about forgetting what a plane was on the morning of a flight to Yemen to fight in the Peace Corps.

orange_jumpsuit · 1 points · Posted at 15:20:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

That's. Genius, but I think he should aim higher with the bullshit story, you know, to impress them and regain credibility...

plamb813 · 4 points · Posted at 17:50:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, I think OP might really have a brain disorder. Based on the way this post was worded, I will tell you. I feel like the syntax and structure was that of someone with some kind of disorder, I will tell you.

Imadurr · 5 points · Posted at 17:14:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The ol' Costanza Maneuver.

anotherspiff · 1 points · Posted at 17:31:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

haha, it totally is!!

haywire98 · 3 points · Posted at 13:16:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a good idea because I'm pretty sure OP does have a brain disorder

LactatingCowboy · 3 points · Posted at 13:06:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you about my brain problems

ophelier · 3 points · Posted at 14:12:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op pls

FedoraAnonymous · 3 points · Posted at 14:26:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Then go into a manic rage and start cleaning their house. Vigorously. And ask if "that sack of brown things on the kitchen floor" is trash

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:42:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://www.topatoco.com/graphics/ned-brainproblems-pic.jpg

thataznguy34 · 4 points · Posted at 14:03:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by making an extremely poor decision and tried to roll with it. Let me fix it by making an extremely poor decision and try to roll with it.

ashleyamdj · 1 points · Posted at 17:38:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sound logic. Time to implement.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:24:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/lCfkzQf.jpg

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:09:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That made me think of this: http://imgur.com/5p33737

GodsMagicDildo · 2 points · Posted at 09:43:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is the greatest idea. Just keep going

Simon_Magnus · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Too late.

softwaredev · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this comment made me laugh a lot.

ashleyamdj · 1 points · Posted at 17:40:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I should tell you your comment is the funniest in the bunch.

DalekSpartan · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe he does have a brain disorder.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

the brain disorder is the right direction. Just act surprised that you totally forgot what a potato was and now you remember what potatoes and french fries are.

People have all kinds of neurological conditions where they forget weird things or even completely ignore what's on the right side of their dinner plate, even though they see it if you tell them about it.

vorteez · 1 points · Posted at 13:45:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is by far the best solution.

Dworm_ · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah sounds reassuring "thank god our little girl is going out with a guy with serious brain damage not with a stupid liar, phew"

r0ck0 · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.

Optimism! :D

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In which case, they'll think you're perfect for their daughter.

itwasmadeupmaybe · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think they all ready know he has a brain disorder

dyboc · 1 points · Posted at 16:14:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.

Well they might be right.

mirrorwolf · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full potatard

pastelpants · 1 points · Posted at 19:05:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

that'll definitely make her want to date you again.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:37:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they will just think you have a brain disorder.

I'm starting to suspect that myself. OP is an idiot!

latman · 1 points · Posted at 01:47:17 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's some Costanza level shit

ThisIsADogHello · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:34 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm not sure gaslighting is a good way to fix a relationship.

CancerousGrapes · 1 points · Posted at 17:32:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time—never."

Nisha_the_lawbringer · 1 points · Posted at 04:21:53 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I dont think I've ever laughed harder than reading this thread.

Getternon · 1 points · Posted at 12:10:14 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I mean, it can't possibly get worse.

Controlled01 · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:25 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

think you have a brain disorder.

I already think OP has a brain disorder

justawhitenig · 1 points · Posted at 23:38:18 on June 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

In pretty sure op does have a brain disorder

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:21:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This. Definitely this.

Varlin · 1 points · Posted at 11:44:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He does. It's called Autism.

TwistedToeRag · 1 points · Posted at 11:57:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Says the guy who took the story seriously.

Varlin · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And who might that be? Because I see most of this thread making jokes buddy. lol

FuhrerOfFelines · 4001 points · Posted at 05:47:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Send them a bouquet of potatoes as an apology.

Drews232 · 1077 points · Posted at 10:39:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But on the card write Enjoy your "potatoes", potatoes in quotes as if you still don't really believe they're real

itsanerdthing · 503 points · Posted at 14:24:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"pohtaytoes"

jyhwei5070 · 50 points · Posted at 15:37:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew?!?"

this would have been the best answer to OP's set-up.

itsanerdthing · 7 points · Posted at 17:17:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks to your comment I found out that this is a thing? How did I not know about this yet?!

jyhwei5070 · 3 points · Posted at 19:12:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm glad I could enrich your life.

Boye · 2 points · Posted at 19:18:11 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Please tell me you've heard about this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY

jrmunro11 · 3 points · Posted at 16:24:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nasty hobbitses. You ruins'd it!

Dracunos · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil'em, mash'em, stickeminasteew

TheRealToast · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew"

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:13 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato podildo

MixLync · 1 points · Posted at 02:46:03 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil 'em, Mash 'em, Stick 'em on a stew.

Cucabanaan · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:47 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

mo-naked-hoes

fluffyxsama · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:56 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

What' "taters", Precious??

wwdtpbd · 9 points · Posted at 15:20:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My grandmother puts my name in quotations on every birthday card I've ever received. Do I exist?

Drews232 · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe she's using your nickname, in which case putting it in quotes is okay because it's not your actual name but what she calls you anyway.

wwdtpbd · 1 points · Posted at 20:19:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahahah I wish. She calls me by my full name, she just has poor writing skills in general.

PotatoesAreUs · 3 points · Posted at 16:26:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[ceases to exist]

scoliosisgiraffe · -1 points · Posted at 15:17:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This!

WendyAlenkoShepard · 455 points · Posted at 06:22:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahaha! Well, they say if you love someone, send them a potato because it lasts longer!

accountnumber3 · 98 points · Posted at 09:32:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And more useful!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:18:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

and if you tell your daughter you're sending her to USA, she will cry tears of joy, so you can use those tears to salt your potato! if you don't have enough salt when she's done crying, just tell her that it was a joke so she can cry tears of sadness! You can't do it too often tho, otherwise your potato will be too salty.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:30:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also, is potato!

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 11:50:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

there's a sex joke here....

accountnumber3 · 2 points · Posted at 12:12:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was referring to the fact you can make it into a lamp.

So... No.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:18:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes hate him....

IRL_Potato_AMA · 1 points · Posted at 02:50:34 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Truer words have never been spoke...or typed, for that matter.

MajesticTowerOfHats · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She said she liked foot stuff so I give her the old potato

Forcepath · 6 points · Posted at 11:52:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

potatoes last for fucking ever, man

WendyAlenkoShepard · 2 points · Posted at 16:32:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Exactly! You get it! http://bash.org/?151227

xHaUNTER · 6 points · Posted at 17:44:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Time out. Holy shit let me tell you that potatoes should not be let to last long. When they rot they liquefy. That liquefied slop emits the most disgusting odor that won't leave cabinets or whatever it gets on for weeks. It's so repulsive it can actually kill you in highly concentrated amounts.

tw128128 · 3 points · Posted at 12:13:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

My girlfriend actually sent me one as a joke after I introduced her to /r/latvian jokes :)

SubredditLinkFixer · 2 points · Posted at 12:13:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you use both slashes like so: /r/latvian then Reddit will automatically linkify the subreddit for you.

Pushoffslow · 3 points · Posted at 13:09:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who says that? I demand to know.

mudkip908 · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://bash.org/?151227

WendyAlenkoShepard · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This old quote from QDB/Bash.org: http://bash.org/?151227

ToxicSandwich · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell that to the Irish.

ratajewie · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is forever

WendyAlenkoShepard · 1 points · Posted at 18:03:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is love. Potato is life.

PsyCoCinematics · 230 points · Posted at 08:51:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What better way to say, "I only have eyes for you"?

fistulaspume · 2 points · Posted at 13:43:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If potatoes aren't real how can our eyes be real.

CantSeeShit · 2 points · Posted at 11:52:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Then a new spatula from spatula city SPATULA CITY spatula city

breadbeard · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I like spatulas so much.... I bought the company.

Ferfrendongles · 1 points · Posted at 13:31:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You could say "I only, singularly, allexclusively, directly; have, own, possess; eyes, eyeballs, windows to my soul, peepers, looky loos; for, directed at, intended towards, given to, to be used by; you, thou, that person (being you), the object of my eye, my love.

OP would like it that way.

kamehameherp · 96 points · Posted at 10:40:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Whats taters

kamehameherp · 14 points · Posted at 10:41:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ohhh come on you know, po-ta-to. Boil em, mash em, stick em In a stew.

Dracunos · 1 points · Posted at 15:47:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

FUCK, you already did that one Edit: This was literally the next comment I read right after posting it.. C'mon, let the downvotes commence.

kamehameherp · 2 points · Posted at 15:58:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You can still do it, I wont judge you my child

Dracunos · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

While we're on the subject.. I read somewhere that instead of being cool like a real hobbit about it, he was actually a little upset about being ytmnd'ed, and tried to get them taken down, is that true?

JonSnowForPresident · 2 points · Posted at 17:32:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know, "poh-tay-toes", boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 14:10:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[removed]

TheEngine · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Such anger, let's see how this unfolds.

http://i.imgur.com/YRVE2vS.jpg

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 11:38:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Interesting. I've never heard 'bouquet' before. What is it?

TheOnlyWanderer · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's when a bunch of guys jizz on a girls face.

ew73 · 3 points · Posted at 10:12:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Then hire a PI to see if it's well-received.

PM_ME_YOUR_ZIPPER · 1 points · Posted at 20:20:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't you fuckin dare.

G8kpr · 2 points · Posted at 14:59:56 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or maybe a Mr. potato head toy and on the card write "I finally get it!"

garrison12795 · 2 points · Posted at 18:22:39 on June 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

And then a note that says "I don't know what these are"

imperfectcarpet · 2 points · Posted at 12:23:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is perfect. This is exactly what a person who doesn't know what a potato is would do. But you gotta commit to the bouquet, OP.

TheOnlyWanderer · 1 points · Posted at 15:30:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

why is everyone tell op to jizz on her face? i don't think this will help the situation at all.

-4d3d3d3- · 2 points · Posted at 12:52:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You mean a large order of French fries from McDonald's.

Catch22ismybible · 2 points · Posted at 13:54:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you an actually get a bouquet of flowers including cabbages (obviously pretty cabbages). Send a bouquet and tell them you hope they enjoy these white and green flowers which you haven't seen before.

mattXIX · 1 points · Posted at 09:24:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is this, Christmas?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:04:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato flowers are real

shongage · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And a link to this page.

Emkan · 1 points · Posted at 12:23:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My mom and her fiance had a potato tatooed onto their arms instead of getting rings. In my country their is an expression that goes like "I have sowed my last potato" so everytime the tatoos get mentioned he saids and when I die I will sow my last potato(he is a farmer and they specialize in growing potatoes)

impinchingurhead · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So, today I learned that if you want to find out whether someone's parents are irrational, just refuse to admit you know what a potato is. Got it!

the_y_of_the_tiger · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Responses like this are why I love Reddit.

pwnjones · 1 points · Posted at 13:05:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

White potatoes for her family say "Let's be friends", red potatoes for the girlfriend say "I love you".

TheDeterminer · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

or maybe make them some John Cena.

TheVoiceOfRiesen · 1 points · Posted at 14:55:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He should send them emails pretending he just discovered different potato dishes.

"Scalloped potatoes. What are these? We should have them when I come over next!"

"Now what the crap is 'whipped potato'? I am interested. We must make it!"

TheOnlyWanderer · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

YES DO THIS! BUY A POTATO AND WRAP IT IN A BEAUTIFUL RIBBON AND JUST WRITE THEN A SHORT NOTE EXPLAINING WHAT HAPPENED SURELy they'll think its funny AND IF THEY DONT YOU have the most epic story ever to tell. well not the most epic story ever because you have an opportunity to kill any SS in combat during this but it will be prett epic good luck potato man

HitlerWasASexyMofo · 1 points · Posted at 17:12:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

or a traditional onion belt

oppopswoft · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I almost choked on my water.

Humbabwe · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the only thing to do... Make it your life goal to troll the shot out of this family with the most benign, yet infuriating, methods possible.

bathroomstalin · 1 points · Posted at 18:21:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Considering it's a distinct possibility that the girlfriend's dad is Dan Quayle, he might take such a gesture as insensitive mockery.
He was already half-triggered at dinner; I wouldn't want to push him over the edge...

religion_idiotizes · 1 points · Posted at 18:46:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When I was read this, I was an impression that it would be very good, let me tell you.

eleonlycostapenny · 1 points · Posted at 03:10:57 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe that will butter them up if they're still sour that you creamed them. Or maybe they'd just think it cheesy.

cranefist10 · 1 points · Posted at 12:48:10 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The day begins as it always begins. Magda and I get out of bed, dress and each make our prayers before the shrine. It is an odd tradition, but we have always thought it important to respect our heritage. These days, I feel, the youth do not have enough concern for where they come from and what has made them who they are today.

The image of my great-grandfather Vasily Meklev stands before us: the first great potato farmer in our district - and later in our country. Beneath him, our family motto: "It is through the potato that we have come to be. The potato makes us what we are." We reflect on the truth of that every day.

Before Vasily, our family were dirt. No, we were less than dirt. We were the filth that dirt would wipe from its shoe so as not to smell distasteful to the rest of the dirt. 10 siblings Vasily lost back in the winter of 1911. He was only one that made it out alive - thanks to the potato.

There are myths about our history, but my grandfather always said that it was the potato that sustained him; it was the potato that made him strong. It gave him vision. His potato farming techniques, and the techniques of his descendants (myself included) raised us from the filth to the throne. By the end of Vasily's life, the filth respected us, feared us, begged us for our potatoes. And now here we are, in America, the most successful root vegetable distributors this side of the planet. All thanks to the potato. The mighty potato.

Magda and I finish making our blessings. We prepare ourselves for the day by eating our morning potato and preparing our lunchtime potato for cooking. Tonight, my beautiful daughter Ivana was bringing home her American boyfriend and we would serve him the best potatoes that we had. It was an important moment and one that would, whether consciously for him or not, make him family.

The day passed as many days do, simply and straightforward, thanks to the blessing of the potato. Ivana arrives with her boyfriend and Magda and I, excited, prepare the meal of our ancestors. I hope that he will express the correct deference to our lineage so that we can bless him as a potential son.

Presenting our ancestral vegetable on the best platter we have we say: "Here. It is a baked potato."

The boy pauses a moment and replies "Oh, interesting, a baked... what is it again?"

Kenyanguyhere · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:06 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

such a grand guesture, Latvians must be appauled at this comment.

Rickrickrickrickrick · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So send them a large fry from national's McDonald's?

idahoalaska · 1 points · Posted at 05:03:45 on June 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

www.potatoparcel.com

Uranus_And_My_Dick · 0 points · Posted at 12:39:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

no, he should shove a potato_in_his_anus and take some pics and send it over.

The only way to show that he has learned what a potato is.

hurlcarl · 3408 points · Posted at 06:32:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some straight up Costanza shit.

Wurmwood11 · 376 points · Posted at 11:18:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Time for op to Invite the fam out to his place in the hamptons.

drmamm · 112 points · Posted at 12:47:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"You wanna get nuts!?!?"

flapsmcgee · 60 points · Posted at 14:05:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LET'S GET NUTS!!

PENISFULLOFBLOOD · 3 points · Posted at 14:58:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"You wanna get potatoes!? Let's get potatoes!"

LoLlYdE · 5 points · Posted at 14:25:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...what are "nuts"?

davidd00 · 2 points · Posted at 14:35:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

THESE are nuts

jlb641986 · 3 points · Posted at 15:57:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

another solarium?

Max_Freedom · 1 points · Posted at 00:23:42 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes, two solariums. Quite a find.

swirlViking · 2 points · Posted at 14:37:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe you should wear this *hands the father a bib with a potato on it*

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:35:18 on February 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Two solariums?"

why_rob_y · 1201 points · Posted at 13:28:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

George Costanza would consistently be the greatest redditor of all time.

Fantastic TIFUs.
Easily enraged in arguments.
Hilarious friends and parents for extra stories.
Celebrity friend for possible AMAs.
Literally unbelievable stories/events that would cause arguments about whether or not they happened.

ostracize · 142 points · Posted at 14:27:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He'd promise Keith Hernandez would come do an AMA within the hour. And after failing to deliver, we'd be here calling OP out on his BS.

ThatGuyGetsIt · 27 points · Posted at 15:20:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There was a second spitter.

RowdyRudy · 4 points · Posted at 11:26:15 on February 2, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nice game, pretty boy.

GOBLOX001001 · 14 points · Posted at 16:44:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Either that or he was ask Kramer to do the AMA as Keith, but Kramer would answer questions in the weirdest way possible, thus blowing their cover or causing Keith to come back at George.

RIpoker · 6 points · Posted at 18:35:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know Keith Ha-nan-dez?

ZeroAntagonist · 4 points · Posted at 03:00:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can imagine the pictures already. Just a skeleton under a desk at Yankee Stadium with the text: "OP will surely deliver."

laddal · 40 points · Posted at 15:13:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli."

goethean_ · 29 points · Posted at 15:55:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by trying to save some money on stamps.

why_rob_y · 9 points · Posted at 15:56:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This story is bullshit, link us an image of your fiancée's death certificate, OP.

CataquackAttack · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:30 on February 17, 2015 · (Permalink)

Poor Lily...

HankESpank · 5 points · Posted at 13:45:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Cooooo Stan-za

Jigaboo_Sally · 10 points · Posted at 14:22:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

CANTSTANDYA

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:02:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Super angry when he gets downvoted. Must know who did it and why because his story was obviously hilarious

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:09:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read that and it sounded uncomfortably like my life but when I think about it, I have had a fucking great life.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:57:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They should make a TV Show with him in it. Would be hilarious!

why_rob_y · 3 points · Posted at 17:01:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But what would the show be about?

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:08:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The continuing misadventures of neurotic New York friends.

recoverybelow · 2 points · Posted at 18:23:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can only imagine how good Kramer would be as a redditor

wewilltry · 2 points · Posted at 17:29:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So, Larry David, basically.

RevWaldo · 1 points · Posted at 22:21:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'M A BOOTLEGGER!

dbvapor · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:28 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

Technically it would be Larry David, since Constanza was based on him.

LadyTodestrieb · 1 points · Posted at 17:56:51 on April 13, 2015 · (Permalink)

pathetic.

texx77 · 256 points · Posted at 12:54:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have never wanted Seinfeld to be back more than after imagining this story line.

White__Power__Ranger · 220 points · Posted at 13:49:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I can't go back on it now Jerry!!"

susanfancyyyy · 6 points · Posted at 15:44:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

that was my first thought after reading "this is some straight up Costanza shit" hahahah i'm glad someone thought of it, too!!

BabyBuddySweetpea · 8 points · Posted at 19:09:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Totally read this in his voice

GrapeRello · 6 points · Posted at 14:23:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

r/redditwritesseinfeld is pretty good for when I want some modern day Seinfeld

Sleepyhead88 · 3 points · Posted at 15:29:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would suggest Curb Your Enthusiasm if you haven't watched it already. Pretty, pretty good.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Sleepyhead88 · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am constantly watching the episodes that run on TV. I have the complete set but it's a hassle to switch out discs because I'm lazy as shit. I still love it.

learn_after_reading · 2 points · Posted at 14:56:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://twitter.com/Seinfeld2000

tobiasvl · 1 points · Posted at 08:20:25 on February 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow that was a shitty feed, has the account been hacked or did you mean http://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday ?

Knowstradamis · 2 points · Posted at 16:31:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Check out /r/redditwritesseinfeld It's the next best thing.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:36:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The feels.. :(

tobiasvl · 2 points · Posted at 08:19:36 on February 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://twitter.com/SeinfeldToday

shitterplug · 0 points · Posted at 07:17:34 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Curb your enthusiasm is just as good, if not better.

football_wizard · 100 points · Posted at 11:24:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think OP is George Costanza.. that's the only explanation

wadofglue · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

perhaps larry david the original constanza ??

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Larry David.

FailedSociopath · 1 points · Posted at 21:10:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or an out of work Seinfeld writer trying to stay in the game.

[deleted] · 94 points · Posted at 14:19:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

To make it a more Costanza situation, the girlfriend's father should be an actual potato farmer, explaining why he got so mad.

MrSundance1498 · 6 points · Posted at 17:10:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your an anti-potatoite!

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 15:39:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I HAD A POTATO FARM!

[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 15:52:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I didn't know he had a potato. How was I to know he had a potato? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a potato? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a potato. Why would anybody come here if they had a potato? Who leaves a country packed with potatoes to come to a non-potato country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?

[deleted] · 24 points · Posted at 11:49:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Similar, I thought Larry David.

samoforreal · 2 points · Posted at 15:23:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I agree, Larry David is real life George.

FARTBOX_DESTROYER · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well Costanza is Larry David. That is, to say, a fictional name written to act out the life experiences of Larry David.

ZeroAntagonist · 1 points · Posted at 03:06:58 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

If it was Larry David, OP would be a guest at a one of Larry's house parties. Larry would call the guy out at the house party, put him on blast at the country club, "THIS FRAUD KNOOOWWWS WHAT A POTATO IS JEFF!!!". He'll have his classic stare down with OP. He'll have an investigator look up the OP's "Potato Background Report".

OP has a mental breakdown and ends up having a fear of anything potato related. Of course, at the end, OP had a legit reason for not know what a potato is, and Larry ends up looking like an offensive, elitest jerk.

LTWazithromycin · 3 points · Posted at 13:20:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Came to post this exact same sentence, word by word. The hivemind is real!

PM_ME_DARK_SECRETS · 3 points · Posted at 14:01:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it's not a lie if you believe it

TigerCarnival · 3 points · Posted at 14:58:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I CAN'T LET THEM KNOW THE TRUTH, JERRY!

I hope this somehow culminates with your friend trying to throw a potato from the ground up to you inside their apartment

CSharpSauce · 2 points · Posted at 13:59:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The constanza default response is to further commit.

yourgirlsamus · 2 points · Posted at 14:49:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you,
This is some straight up Costanza shit.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:14:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[removed]

deepinmycolon · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!

r0ck0 · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or ANY episode of Curb your Enthusiasm...

✓ Everyone gets irrationally angry over some minor shit that a normal person would find amusing.

whitetornado2k · 1 points · Posted at 14:48:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wish OP's name was Art VanDelay.

yoldaki · 1 points · Posted at 15:10:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is Costanza?

hurlcarl · 0 points · Posted at 21:00:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

George Constanza, of the sitcom Seinfeld.

Deggyy · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh. My. God. I didn't realize it until you stated this, but this is exactly what George would have done. How many other TIFU would be Costanza situations?

alyalyatwork · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I've never heard of a potato."

"SERENITY NOW!!!!"

IRedditok · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

More like Cantstandsya

sleepysloo · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's not a lie, if you believe it...

wewilltry · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:56:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm not a true Seinfeld fan for not realizing this.

hurlcarl · 1 points · Posted at 18:00:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It wasn't until the part where he eats the potato and truly commits and the father loses it where I just heard a popping baseline in my head.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:15:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just like the episode where he steals the one girl's clock because he think she has his hat

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:23:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It really is

Greentoads41 · 1 points · Posted at 05:38:39 on February 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/redditwritesseinfeld

mercival · 2593 points · Posted at 05:24:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full potato.

Zeno_Zaros · 694 points · Posted at 08:59:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Full what?

ClimbingC · 994 points · Posted at 09:43:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7142012231507Hklm7.gif

EmmyJaye · 300 points · Posted at 09:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

Karmago · 83 points · Posted at 11:15:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Taters, precious? Wot's taters?

EmmyJaye · 8 points · Posted at 12:09:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Gives ussss juicy juicy fishes

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:35:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yer 'opeless.

Malak77 · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They have children called "tots".

llukrass · 2 points · Posted at 13:30:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrQVFZx7XX4

jovietjoe · 2 points · Posted at 10:17:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Better love story than twilight.

Actually Sam and potato is one of the best love stories period

Malzair · 2 points · Posted at 11:54:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hey, you might think of hobbit-lasses whatever the fuck you want but Rosie isn't a Potato, alright?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:13:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

EmmyJaye · 1 points · Posted at 00:16:47 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yet oh so delicious

5teamedbuns · 1 points · Posted at 22:48:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatologic

regular_author · 0 points · Posted at 10:44:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man, remember when that was a relevant internet thing? I remember that.

EmmyJaye · 5 points · Posted at 12:09:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LOTR is always relevant

ObligatoryChuckle · 2 points · Posted at 13:54:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shaaare the looooad

EnterTheTragedy · 104 points · Posted at 10:52:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/retiredgif

[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 14:15:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not worthy.

Deezle530 · 4 points · Posted at 18:36:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The dude would have to be named sam, or been from the shire or something

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 19:28:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Right. There's plenty of better uses for this gif.

Wulfay · 4 points · Posted at 13:41:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

-TOES should pop up all together at the same time. This annoys me. I am about to throw this gif out of my house.

hoopstick · 7 points · Posted at 12:34:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/p79jJ7C.gif

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:50:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes? Is is like a pot for toes? Why would you want to keep toes in a pot? That's gross

anyjungleinguy · 2 points · Posted at 11:15:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's saying more naked hoes.

anoobitch · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh I see. So the thing this gif was made with.

pulsefrequency · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

when i clicked this

http://media.giphy.com/media/CfFiTnleRVXaw/giphy.gif

Alaknar · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:22 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/retiredgif

TotesMessenger · 0 points · Posted at 18:16:04 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit.

[/r/retiredgif] [META] /u/ClimbingC retires a gif of potatoes.

^{If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote.} ^(Info ^/ ^Contact)

totes_meta_bot · -1 points · Posted at 12:53:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

[/r/retiredgif] /u/ClimbingC retires a gif about potatoes

^If ^you ^follow ^any ^of ^the ^above ^links, ^respect ^the ^rules ^of ^reddit ^and ^don't ^vote ^or ^comment. ^Questions? ^Abuse? ^Message ^me ^here.

llxGRIMxll · 1 points · Posted at 09:48:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have never had this before, she tastes very strange.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know it's some kind of food but, really, what is a potato?

Kneel_Legstrong · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

john cena minus the salad

andalite_bandit · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At this point I acted very interesting.

nodayzero · 1 points · Posted at 13:57:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y3FzVQi-R8

gamophyte · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All her parents had to do is say that thing that all those bad youtube videos are shot on.

redog · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't even know what a what is?

soylent_me · 101 points · Posted at 09:49:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry for potato

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:12:00 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a potato?

soylent_me · 2 points · Posted at 22:20:28 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato's a what?

cromag5150 · 73 points · Posted at 06:55:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Good thing I didn't have liquids in my mouth when read this comment.

[deleted] · 43 points · Posted at 08:32:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato quality joke

thatricksta · 2 points · Posted at 08:51:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I had food in my mouth... Had

lordischnitzel · 1 points · Posted at 08:15:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I should have read your comment before the above. brb cleaning my keyboard.

grawvyrobber · 58 points · Posted at 07:41:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

MY SIDES

[deleted] · 166 points · Posted at 09:31:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[removed]

__ADAM__ · 68 points · Posted at 09:50:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Baked what?

Nitsju · 6 points · Posted at 12:57:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Baked soup you moron!

Ejp89 · 2 points · Posted at 14:44:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell ya....

uscjimmy · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes. ever tried them?

eleonlycostapenny · 1 points · Posted at 03:11:55 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Baked OP

CharlieOscar · 1 points · Posted at 05:30:49 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7142012231507Hklm7.gif

ZodiacalLight · 1 points · Posted at 09:47:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

MY POCKETS

fear_of_government · 1 points · Posted at 14:24:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ahem

http://i.imgur.com/D7lhK61.jpg

[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 05:51:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This could be a new phrase here :)

CanadianBaconIsNot · 17 points · Posted at 07:37:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's just what we need! More useless references

Lexinoz · 3 points · Posted at 11:34:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Welcome to the internet.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

... but I really do love potatos. :)

Somebody011 · 8 points · Posted at 06:45:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not even

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:07:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

... potato

GodsCupGg · 18 points · Posted at 07:15:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell me about this potato never heard of it

what_I_heard · 3 points · Posted at 09:26:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you even... potato?

WheresTibbers · 2 points · Posted at 09:51:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck I can't see because I'm crying and laughing so fucking hard. My boyfriend thinks I'm retarded now.

RainDownMyBlues · 2 points · Posted at 10:50:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So... A potato?

WheresTibbers · 1 points · Posted at 11:27:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Precisely

swaggerbiscuit · 2 points · Posted at 12:06:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can hardly type I'm laughing so hard at this

r/goingtohellforthis

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

God damn reddit, after reading the story everything I wanted to post is already in the top 20 comments. IM A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE

kamehameherp · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What do I look like a potato man, am I a potato, am I fucking potato man, blurublublur im a vampire im a vampire. You know after b comes c, d, e, f, g,h, I, j, k, l, m, n, o, po-ta-to

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato? Where?

Ytoru · 1 points · Posted at 12:28:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My life is potato

dpgaspard · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I laughed harder at this than probably anything else all week.

TelevisionPotato · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like I should say something here...

scrumbly · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Okay I'll give in. What is the joke here?

CptnStarkos · 1 points · Posted at 14:48:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia, we never go full potato.

NateDoggyStyle29 · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I'm a guy, playing a guy, that plays a guy"

[deleted] · 6728 points · Posted at 06:37:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've been with this sub almost since it's inception. I follow idiotsfightingthings and TumblrInAction too. This is the dumbest fucking thing I have ever read on this entire website. Why OP. Why.

I'm not trying to be mean. It's impressive really.

[deleted] · 1056 points · Posted at 09:20:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This might be my new favorite TIFU post ever. OP is fucking weird, man. And I love it.

bojang1es · 445 points · Posted at 11:30:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can picture it so vividly, it makes me cringe and want to hug OP at the same time. So much better than the "TIFU by getting all this sex" humble brag posts that always make the front page.

BBViphone · 174 points · Posted at 12:41:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I picture him saying everything slightly slowly and with an accent.

StarfighterProx · 91 points · Posted at 13:47:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I do not know what is this "potato."

rilynn · 6 points · Posted at 16:05:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm imagining OP as Fez.

sunglasses619 · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/Borat.

ZeroAntagonist · 6 points · Posted at 16:23:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP should have said he was from Latvia or something. Maybe that would have sold it.

KelseyCoCa · 3 points · Posted at 14:33:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

no really. what is potato?

westbrookbaptist · 2 points · Posted at 17:44:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes very strange!

Chinampa · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i yam telling you lisa i dont know what potato is

wewilltry · 1 points · Posted at 17:31:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Andy Kaufman or Sacha Cohen style!

Useless_Throwpillow · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I like to think of him in a tuxedo T-shirt, because it says, 'I want to be formal, but I like to party.'

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:38:10 on March 20, 2015 · (Permalink)

In my mind, he's Edward Scissorhands.

duckofsquid · 3 points · Posted at 14:38:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, I gave up on tifu a ling time ago because of them.

In fact, when I saw the words tifu and potatoe together I automatically assumed he'd put them up his ass during dinner

therealdjbc · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love how he helplessly is stuck doing it by his own screwy logic. He will die never admitting it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are we suppose to pretend in this subreddit that things are fake? Like that one creepy subreddit?

jakethespectre · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I see somebody has heard of CGPGrey...

Stevebiglegs · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Something something giant dong 200k a year

fayettevillainjd · 2 points · Posted at 15:20:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let me tell you

DwarfofChaos · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Agreed... I'm voting this for FUOTY already. :D

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love it. best tifu in awhile. Besides the whole Jennnnay thing.

laughingrrrl · 1 points · Posted at 16:17:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP just needs to find people who appreciate his weirdness. Once you do, it's like you've discovered your tribe.

Xiexe · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:33 on July 8, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hi just reminding you of your favorite post. Have fun.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:50:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And probably real unlike most the TIFU's.

EmergencyTaco · -2 points · Posted at 13:16:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never in my life called someone a spastic, but OP is a fucking spastic.

[deleted] · 3112 points · Posted at 08:18:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has got to be one of the best TIFUs ever posted, because it enters a realm where it doesn't matter whether the story is real or fake. I've never seen that happen before.

griggsy92 · 1220 points · Posted at 09:16:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you I think I agree with this

canadiannugz · 374 points · Posted at 10:41:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm done letting you guys tell me stuff. I already let OP tell me enough.

JiggerD · 155 points · Posted at 11:18:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you OP hasn't even started telling you stuff, so I've been told.

Vaelix · 5 points · Posted at 14:35:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you until today I'd never even heard of an OP. I'm still not sure what one does.

EnragedTurkey · 2 points · Posted at 17:16:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

From what I've been told, they suck dick.

Lord_of_the_Canals · 2 points · Posted at 14:35:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who told you that?!

tinyOnion · 2 points · Posted at 17:46:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll tell you nothing:

Hayes231 · 2 points · Posted at 12:21:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you I'm telling you

Rex_Lee · 1 points · Posted at 18:07:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, I felt in such a way, that I found this amusing - on my face.

mrpear · 1 points · Posted at 22:31:41 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

you have just slapped my mind

UndeadBread · 239 points · Posted at 10:21:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The poor English and the absolute ridiculousness of this situation make me refuse to even consider that this could possibly be fake.

Sexual_Congressman · 10 points · Posted at 13:11:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All the repeated references to shame make me think that if this took place it was somewhere in Asia. If this is true, maybe in an Asian country it is possible to never eat a potato, ever.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:59 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was thinking India, but you could be right.

SgtDoakesLives · 5 points · Posted at 15:39:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How could someone named "NotKnowPotato" not be good at English?

Arntown · 7 points · Posted at 13:03:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shit, poor English? I'm German and to me everthing seemed correct :/

oditogre · 40 points · Posted at 13:56:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

It is mostly technically ~~correct~~ adequate, but the vocabulary and phrasing are very odd and unnatural. The meaning is clear enough, but it is riddled with tiny errors and odd word choices.

Councilman_Jamm · 36 points · Posted at 14:31:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I see nothing wrong with food becoming on my plate let me tell you

BucketsMcGaughey · 15 points · Posted at 15:55:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm getting a "notch or two along the autistic spectrum" vibe about it myself.

FrobozzMagic · 2 points · Posted at 19:48:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It is at first, but I felt like after the dialogue started it read more naturally. I interpreted it as the author trying to impart the same feel of a Latvian joke about potatoes at the beginning of the story.

MundaneInternetGuy · 1 points · Posted at 21:45:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing English speaker, but drunk.

El_Tormentito · 7 points · Posted at 20:27:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Grammatically incorrect in some spots and tons of phrases that don't exist. Ideas don't slap anyone's mind in English. Reads a lot like ESL from India, especially with the repetition of phrases that "work" but shouldn't be used that frequently by native speakers.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 13:47:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 14:43:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

the more insistent I was about not knowing what a potato is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was.

my favourite

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:23:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Thepimpandthepriest · 3 points · Posted at 18:22:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It is very correct, too formal almost, that's what gives it away as a non native speaker.

SL8Rfan · 2 points · Posted at 18:53:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, it was incorrect, aggressively strange and fantastically "fucked up". I tells ya.

Wood_Ape · 1 points · Posted at 16:20:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If English isn't OP's first language, I can understand not knowing the nuances of the language or the usual phrasing, especially considering the difficulty of the language. However, if OP learned English from birth, his/her English is very poor and has very strange phrasing.

The biggest issues are the punctuation and phrasing. "Let me tell you" and "I should tell you" aren't exactly odd statements, but he/she says them often and they require much more punctuation to be used correctly.

I don't believe this user even knows English, it's that bad. The way it's written makes it seem like someone wrote it in their native language, like Japanese, and put it through an online translator. It's legible and can be understood, but it is exceptionally strange and missing proper punctuation. As with any language, practice makes perfect. Nobody learns a language perfectly, even those who speak it as a native language. OP just needs a bit more practice.

only1mrfstr · 1 points · Posted at 15:01:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

poor english for the first 1/3rd... perfect fucking US teenager speak the rest of it... screams fake

FrobozzMagic · 3 points · Posted at 19:49:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought it was meant to sound like a Latvian joke at first.

munche · 1 points · Posted at 20:55:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It makes me think someone turned the stupid shit in here lately into a bot that writes dumb posts that people will gild

TheHeroicOnion · 0 points · Posted at 23:51:54 on February 1, 2015 · (Permalink)

The English isn't poor. How is it?

UndeadBread · 6 points · Posted at 08:47:41 on February 2, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's just filled with a lot of lines like "The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing." that sound very awkward. He gets his point across and he is clearly able to communicate, but it is fairly obvious that English isn't his first language. Not that there's anything wrong with that; I thought it made the story more amusing.

carlosp_uk · 245 points · Posted at 10:35:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Possibly fake, since a friend told me they'd seen this on the UK tv series 'Cuckoo'. I tracked down the video (see at 01:34) -- actually just posted this as a separate comment. Unless this was inspiration for OP's act!

IJustSayNope · 13 points · Posted at 15:01:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was fantastic. Found a new show to binge...

Youre_Government · 1 points · Posted at 17:36:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yup. This looks like good stuff.

ThaddeusRoss · 8 points · Posted at 18:44:50 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Premise is similar but the execution is different. The joke in cuckoo is that the guy really is dumb and doesent know what a potato is, the humour in the op comes from him having to commit to the hole he's digging.

Honestly this is one of the funniest things I've ever read and even if it's fake it's still genius.

carlosp_uk · 3 points · Posted at 10:49:16 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought that too actually - the Cuckoo sketch is sufficiently different for it to be unclear if the OP ripped it off. (intentionally or otherwise) And I agree that it's a great TIFU, regardless.

Budge-O-Matic · 9 points · Posted at 13:10:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Possibly? I think it has to be fake. No one is as tone deaf as the submitter unless they're autistic.

Icalasari · 1 points · Posted at 00:17:24 on January 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

Those on the spectrum can be socially inrpt, but that's at a level so inept that... No, just no

myparentsbasemnt · 3 points · Posted at 15:06:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahaha. "Jack-et POtay toe". Fucking Samberg is awesome.

penguinoid · 2 points · Posted at 15:00:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your comment should be near the top. I wanted to believe, but I don't anymore.

EnragedTurkey · 8 points · Posted at 17:33:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's no reason why OP couldn't have watched this and tried to replicate it as a joke, not realizing it wasn't a well known show.

sanchize3 · 2 points · Posted at 16:35:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this, that was hard to watch.

stb91 · 2 points · Posted at 17:30:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wanted to believe. :(

AbidingByTurkey · 1 points · Posted at 15:50:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's so weird, while I was waiting for the video to load, I was imagining what it would be like if SNL did this skit, and in my head I had Andy Samberg as the man discovering potatoes. Then next thing you know, HES IN THIS FUCKING VIDEO??? Cool.

terriblenewseveryone · 1 points · Posted at 16:01:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As soon as I heard about it, I thought of Cuckoo. OP's story is too close and too stupid to be real.

Bone3ater · 1 points · Posted at 16:20:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Possibly Fake".

More like entirely fake. You'd be surprsied to know to what lengths people go to make shit up on the Internet.

BordersRanger01 · 1 points · Posted at 01:02:41 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was what I thought of when I read this post.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:15:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So by possibly, you mean 100% definitely fake! If it was inspired by they would mention in the post.

katespade · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fucking Emily. Who are you to tell Ross he can't be friends with Rachel?!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:13:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I understood that reference."

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 16:19:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Weird that Andy Samberg is in that show

Herbertbarrywoodrose · -15 points · Posted at 13:13:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The OP's story was still about a billion times funnier than whatever the fuck that clip you made me watch was HOLY SHIT i was confused when tedium became on my screen

slartbarg · 646 points · Posted at 10:23:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It is meta as fuck. if he really did this, he's a fucking idiot jackass, if he didn't, he's a fucking idiot jackass for writing this post

headyfwends · 211 points · Posted at 10:42:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Yeah, that's pretty much what I was going to say. But I'm sympathetic to this kid -too stupid to know it was a dumb idea, too cowardly to man up and say "I'm joking".

He reminds me of the remote-up-the-ass kid from tosh.0, where tosh berated him for hours to get him to admit he faked it.

Too stupid and cowardly to know what everyone else already knows.

Edit: Here's the Tosh.0 "web investigation" of the remote up the butthole kid: http://tosh.cc.com/blog/2010/07/15/web-investigation-wow-freakout-kid Edit 2.0: "faked" not "failed", "too" not "to"

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 13:36:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't even think he was being cowardly, I think he just wanted to be dedicated to the stupid joke. I admire him, really.

Cymry_Cymraeg · 3 points · Posted at 17:28:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Too stupid and cowardly to know what everyone else already knows.

You mean OP or the kid in the Tosh video? Because that was obviously done on purpose.

Ghost_Kick · 3 points · Posted at 20:45:33 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

lol? "Berated him for hours"....

You know it's a scripted bit, right?

Him and his brother shoot those videos, and have been doing so for quite some time now.

Cowardice and stupidity have nothing to do with, it's a prank (regardless of whether it's funny or not) I think you're the one taking this seriously here O_o

SofineBovine · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wait can you get me a link to that tosh thing. Sounds funny

headyfwends · 0 points · Posted at 15:30:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll look for the tosh thing but here's the original http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=remote+control+up+butthole&view=detail&mid=97BD9A37A8CCFB9434A097BD9A37A8CCFB9434A0&FORM=VRRTAP&PC=SMSM

SofineBovine · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yea I saw the original lol. Still just wtf. EDIT: thanks!

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:21:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How are you sympathetic. This hurts my brain,

headyfwends · 2 points · Posted at 18:26:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've been so socially awkward that I could not let go of a stupid idiosyncrasy for way past the point where I should have said "ha ha jk".

But yeah, this is mind bogglingly retarded.

Dankydankstuff · 1 points · Posted at 14:14:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Too stupid*

Fafhands · -1 points · Posted at 14:55:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's this about a remote up the arse? Sounds funny.

d0dgerrabbit · 1 points · Posted at 15:13:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kid got so angry he shoved a remote up his ass

Fafhands · 2 points · Posted at 15:23:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was the kid called Steven?

Cromar · 13 points · Posted at 11:16:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My favorite part of this totally real story is that the parents are just as stupid as he is. Who gets outraged and throws someone out of the house because they haven't heard of a potato? And what was that high pitch noise? Is that what set them off? What's wrong with the girl that she would bring this deranged person into her home?

yellowsubmarinr · 13 points · Posted at 14:45:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The kid was being blatantly disrespectful to the parents, and they probably felt that he was trying to make them feel foolish (and they were right.) even when he got called out for his dumb bullshit, he denied it. I would have wanted to kick him out too

itsmyst · 2 points · Posted at 15:22:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Eagerly anticipating the great potato ~~famine~~ meme.

CringeBinger · 1 points · Posted at 15:13:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Even for just thinking up such a situation of this ridiculous idiotic nature someone fucked up.

BoomBlasted · 1 points · Posted at 11:12:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Idiot jackass seems redundant.

skookybird · 4 points · Posted at 13:12:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I’ve met a lot of smart jackasses. And a few idiot normalasses too.

pulsefrequency · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

how is it meta?

clancy6969 · -1 points · Posted at 15:47:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That isn't what meta means.

artboiz · 80 points · Posted at 10:56:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's this italian saying that goes something like "if the story ain't true, atleast it's a good one"

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 12:25:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A good quote from Chopper Read

"Never let the truth get in the way of a good yarn"

indigo121 · 4 points · Posted at 14:29:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Isn't that a Mark Twain quote?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:55:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It may well be. I heard it from Chopper

Knowstradamis · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Never let the truth get in the way of a good yam"

Notmyrealname · 3 points · Posted at 13:36:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia we have similar saying: Better to keep mouth shut and let people think you are fool than to deny that you know what potato is and remove doubt.

artboiz · 1 points · Posted at 17:54:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's a long saying.

Notmyrealname · 8 points · Posted at 20:57:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We have no potato, so have more time for words.

foxhole_atheist · 3 points · Posted at 13:22:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

se non è vero, è ben trovato - if it's not true, it's a good story :)

artboiz · 2 points · Posted at 17:52:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks alot! That's it!

FILE_ID_DIZ · 2 points · Posted at 13:02:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

if my grandmother had wheels, she would have been a bike!

ZeroAntagonist · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://youtu.be/Hgw9-Yfljaw?t=13s

ThundercuntIII · 2 points · Posted at 15:00:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shouldn't it be '..it better be a good one'?

artboiz · 2 points · Posted at 17:52:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't speak italian, but my grandpa who is originally from Italy told me about this one. That's how I remember it.

tabachoi93 · 2 points · Posted at 14:13:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Russia there is saying, "Если история не соответствует действительности, должны быть американцем"

If story not true, must be American

artboiz · 0 points · Posted at 17:53:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And there goes the US hate haha

endercoaster · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Any story worth telling is worth embellishing.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:47:00 on March 20, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm just amazed that Italians would say something like "ain't"

somethingsomethingbe · 113 points · Posted at 09:45:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The simplicity and over the top commitment to keep up the lie makes it work.

blip_cicle · 75 points · Posted at 10:52:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If he can bold face lie to the Nth degree about a potato, what will he lie through his teeth about next? As a Dad, I would never be able to trust the guy.

SuramKale · 3 points · Posted at 15:21:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But, butt, but, What is potato?!?!?!?

smackson · 2 points · Posted at 15:40:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll never forget that scene in True Romance where Dennis Hopper's character convinces the mafia guys that he's got no idea what a potato is, so Christopher Walken's char has to kill him.

JonSnowForPresident · 2 points · Posted at 17:29:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seriously. You can't trust him to tell the truth about a god damned potato when everyone knows he is lying. What is going to happen when he actually does something terrible like cheats?? You can't trust somebody that is willing to commit that hard to a lie

Highplanezdrifter · 0 points · Posted at 20:58:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a human, I concur.

putdownyourbong · 3 points · Posted at 22:39:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

what will he lie through his teeth about next?

Lying on Reddit about lying to his girlfriends parents about knowing what a potato was?

uscjimmy · 4 points · Posted at 12:28:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

sadly, I've done this before with my friends so I fully believe the OP's post. when you fuck up that bad, you just gotta go with the flow without looking like a damn fool in front of everybody even if you are digging yourself into a deeper hole.

iamnicholas · 9 points · Posted at 10:11:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well I've never seen a potato before.

josguil · 12 points · Posted at 10:01:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

True or false, the story is hilarious.

GunganWing · 2 points · Posted at 11:15:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's so innocent and relatable. Has to be real.

Or just me and OP are weird.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:58:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Really? The last TIFU about Jenny and Carly was obviously fake and full of inconsistencies, and yet people were totally happy to go along with it.

Based on what I've seen (certain repeated grammatical errors, writing style, etc.) there's at least a couple people who regularly post fake TIFUs that hit the front page. It's actually pretty impressive.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:03:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The last TIFU about Jenny and Carly was obviously fake and full of inconsistencies, and yet people were totally happy to go along with it.

Agreed. I was just talking about my personal evaluation, not the Reddit "community" at large

thegreatbrah · 4 points · Posted at 09:31:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Could tell from the beginning of the story that this is some wanker who thinks hes a writer.

JulianCaesar · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well... he did write the post, so he's technically a writer

wohdude · 2 points · Posted at 09:14:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think Jenny and Carly are in that realm too. No ones cares if it's real or fake. They just want to know what happens at the end!

carlosp_uk · 5 points · Posted at 10:41:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I care slightly. Still love the story, but knowing it didn't really happen takes a bit of the shine off it for me. Interestingly, I become less forgiving of the poor spelling/grammar if it's invented, since I then view it as a piece of writing rather than somebody recalling an event.

rikutoar · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's been a few of them, although to be to fair I can only remember one off the top of my head.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:57:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't be seduced. OP is trying to take the title away from /u/mylifesuxnow.

Bilski1ski · 1 points · Posted at 11:56:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mystery realms

nnny7 · 1 points · Posted at 12:55:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sir you are correct.

RunningForrests · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought Jenny and Carly were the best TIFU ever posted...

Vslacha · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now that's called "committing to the bit".

Cracky7 · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You need some fucked up mind to come up with a story like that though... Whole new fucking level.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's so stupid it has to be real.

SgtDoakesLives · 1 points · Posted at 15:38:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was this not the case with the Jenny story?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:39:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, that story was fucking boring and had nothing going for it as a fake story

_beast__ · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's the point of subscribing to TIFU if you care if they're true or not?

cookiepusss · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm just assuming OP is like, 14 or so.

VirgilFox · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just admit it! You HAVE seen this happen before!

Humbabwe · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

His command of English is the cherry on the cake.

egus · 1 points · Posted at 18:17:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You weren't here last week?

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:20:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They're about 85% fake from my estimation, so when one like this comes up I treasure it. And I feel no sympathy. Because op is either retarded or the least funny person of all time

Teotwawki69 · 1 points · Posted at 19:58:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never seen a potato become on a plate before, either.

munche · 1 points · Posted at 20:51:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has got to be one of the best TIFUs ever posted, because it enters a realm where it doesn't matter whether the story is real or fake. I've never seen that happen before.

This is pretty much what everyone who believed that stupid Jenny and Carly story said after it got too stupid for anyone to take it seriously

KfuckinPowers · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:01 on February 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever read but I laughed tears

thebrownmancometh · 1 points · Posted at 04:25:48 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

The story is Larry David Esque

HighLevelJerk · 1 points · Posted at 04:30:06 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Truth is stranger than fiction. You just cannot make this shit up.

Oracle_at_Delphi · 0 points · Posted at 10:20:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, just no, this isn't even entertaining. The Jenny story get the credit for being entertaining even though it was probably false. I was captivated for all three post. Whereas, this I could barely get through.

clancy6969 · 0 points · Posted at 15:46:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He had me at "tastes very strange!" I am OPs forever.

insertfunnyphrase · 48 points · Posted at 10:13:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I call shenanigans, this is a direct lift-off from an episode in the British TV series "Cukoo". In the 1st or the 2nd episode of the first season, this hippie guy goes to meet his SO's parents and genuinely does not know about what potatoes are. The clincher, he was also served baked potatoes!! YouTube link - www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNQ9VN705As

griggsy92 · 91 points · Posted at 09:16:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this is the truth I'm sure.

UnremarkablyWeird · 3 points · Posted at 10:40:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you I had to google what is a potato? Very interesting

ilikeeatingbrains · 2 points · Posted at 15:19:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

For anyone confused, I moderate /r/Potatoes and am happy to help with your incredulities. :)

🍟

MovieCommenter09 · 7 points · Posted at 09:51:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, it's a Latvian Joke...

iamslegend · 7 points · Posted at 09:34:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

VERY IMPRESSIVE, If I had a girlfriend most likely I will try this same antic with french fries, "What is french fries, precious?"

enseyn · 3 points · Posted at 09:54:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

tried to type, way to drunk, basicaly best of is touch of death to many a subreddiut

NavyBlues26 · 3 points · Posted at 10:04:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Way I see it, especially if OP is a teenager, he has two avenues and only two avenues:

1) backtrack, apologize for making a stupid joke and explain why - and best case you get a do-over and the gf stays in a relationship with you, worst case you break up but its for the rea reason and not because you acted like a tool to be a douche to her parents (because this is what the story will be)

2) press on and 'stay committed' and she will break up with you, this story will become known to all of her friends, and her friends friends, and dating will become one of those activities you won't really do much anymore.

ZeroAntagonist · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Every date OP goes on from now on:

Girl: Oh shit! You're that potato guy! ::runs::

For his sake, I hope the story doesn't spread, or even worse, someone on here knows OP and his name and the potato story become an internet sensation!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:36:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Well let me tell you, Sir, I find it fucking incredulous how you became on this topic of 1,2, Ching Chong Potato."

I also find it entertaining to read the entirety of this short story in Tommy Wiseau's voice.

autowikibot · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tommy Wiseau:

Tommy Wiseau (/wəˈsoʊ/) is a director, screenwriter, producer and actor. He is best known for The Room (2003), which has been described as "one of the worst movies ever made" and has gained cult film status. He also directed the 2004 documentary Homeless in America and the pilot episode of a sitcom called The Neighbors.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^The ^Room ^(film) ^| ^The ^House ^That ^Drips ^Blood ^on ^Alex ^| ^The ^Neighbors ^(pilot) ^| ^The ^Room ^(song)

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

Serendipitee · 2 points · Posted at 14:39:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This reminds me of every thread on /r/askreddit or whatever that involves "what are the most ridiculous pretenses in movie plots that could have been easily avoided" or whatever. Invariably, there are a hundred examples of "if the main character had JUST SPOKEN UP AND EXPLAINED HIMSELF instead of acting like an idiot and continuing the scenario to the point of absurdity, it could have all been avoided! It's so unrealistic!

Well, apparently this is the sort of shit bad movie scripts are made of, and people do utterly irrational, amazingly counter-intuitive crap for reasons none of us can fathom. Congrats op, for proving all of our "that just wouldn't happen in a real scenario" rants incorrect.

gordo65 · 2 points · Posted at 17:27:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're assuming that this really did happen.

Asfor the movies, what's unrealistic is when otherwise rational, functional people do shit like this. We're all aware of the fact that there are annoying social retards who troll and carry jokes long past the point where they're funny.

ZeroAntagonist · 1 points · Posted at 16:32:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just started watching Star Trek from the beginning. I had never really watched the show before. What you just said pretty much sums up every episode of Star Trek I've watched so far (Just finished season 3).

KoaliaBear · 1 points · Posted at 10:03:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

thank you. if i didnt find this comment i thought that i might have reached that age where i have lost touch with "the youth"

blueredgreenorange · 1 points · Posted at 10:09:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I had tears in my eyes when I read this, the level of stupidity is hilarious.

itonlygetsworse · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't believe there are people who think this is one of the best TIFU right after we just got that whole Jenny Zack story.

APsWhoopinRoom · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll do OP one better.

Now this is a true story, unfortunately. There was a girl that went to my junior high that had recently gotten a kitten. One night, she thought that cat was cold, so she wanted to warm it up. What did she do? Stuck the kitten in the microwave.

She was 14 years old and didn't know you shouldn't microwave a live animal

manhobi · 2 points · Posted at 19:46:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nahhh this is bullshit. Everyone has heard this story, or a similar one about someone in their town, or family, or w/e. there are tons of I know someone who knows someone stories these. Like how everyone tells the story of some friend of a friend of a cousin tripped way too hard on acid and now he thinks he is a glass of orange juice and is afraid to tip over. you were probably told this by someone

APsWhoopinRoom · 1 points · Posted at 21:43:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh I'm sure she wasn't the first or last to do it. But I swear on my grandfather's grave that this happened

D4rkmo0r · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah man, this is 'Patron Saint of Dumb Shits' level of dumb shittery. Made me smile a lot though :D

pulsefrequency · 1 points · Posted at 11:24:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/KAOM9.jpg

ZiggyZu · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At a certain point, you're just committed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGWEvOSri04

Sethisto · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...

RoganTheGypo · 1 points · Posted at 11:49:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let him tell you.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:11:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the biggest fuck-up of 2015, and the year has only started.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that I agree. Kid done fucked up.

prsupertramp · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, I love the way it was written!

tang81 · 1 points · Posted at 12:33:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why u no link?

needhelpwithlinuxnow · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Neckbeards are slow but you ok bro!

Thac0 · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know but this guy is the the funniest one I've read in a while. I'm literally lol and that's a rare thing.

camzabob · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love the inception of this subreddit, bwaaaaahhh

JesseLaces · 1 points · Posted at 13:20:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Have you ever watched Dax Flame on YouTube?? I read the whole thing I his voice.

Hybrazil · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, dumber than tumbr in action?

starlitmint · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I cringed so hard, I needed to walk away from my computer for a bit. Its just so awkward.

shammikaze · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I seriously wonder what's wrong with OP that he thought any of this was a smart idea.

bllasae · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I follow idiotsfightingthings

Thanks, that's a new one.

gfy_bot · 1 points · Posted at 14:36:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

GFY link: gfycat.com/SickUnconsciousEmu

^{GIF size: 2.70 MiB} ^| ^{GFY size:420.92 kiB} ^| ^{~ About}

recoveringdropout · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is the dumbest thing on this entire website

roh8880 · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell her that you grew up in Latvia.

Lereas · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I see where he was coming from at first. I mean...it would be kinda funny to pretend you didn't know some obvious thing just as a joke.

But when the dad insisted that he admit he was fucking with them, that's when the joke needed to end. Committing further and looking your new girlfriend's dad straight in the eye and lying to him is not a good start with her family.

harryISbored · 1 points · Posted at 14:45:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Such is life

UserInactive · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP must be from Latvia.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh no way, I'm DEFINIFELY trying to be mean. OP, you're an idiot...

JaLubbs · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

One word: shame.

DDRDiesel · 1 points · Posted at 15:28:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Before today, I have never heard of /r/tumblrinaction. Ask anyone that knows me, and they'll tell you the utter distaste I have for that site and it's "community". Thank you so much for opening my eyes to this sub. I needed this

tdt0005 · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is my kind of humor and it's the kind of thing I would do. Granted, probably not upon the first time I'm meeting my gf's parents! I also probably wouldn't have chosen a potato. It's just too common and not a believable lie. But I LOVE trying to make people believe I don't know what things are. Now when the dad said "enough is enough, you're fucking with us" I probably would have come clean and apologized and told them what I was trying to do. Also, this joke isn't funny if he immediately admits he is kidding. He has to see how long he can keep them going at least to some extent.

wewilltry · 1 points · Posted at 17:30:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the dumbest, funniest TIFU I've ever read, hands down. I've told that to everyone. OMG. Dying!

D3monicAngel · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I literally had to get up from my desk after reading your reply cause I was starting to make weird faces and sounds trying to hide my laughter and now my co-workers think I'm an idiot. Thanks

pasaroanth · 1 points · Posted at 18:08:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't even wrap my head around this. This is one of two scenarios:

Either this guy is the dumbest motherfucker on this world, or,
He thinks we are the dumbest motherfuckers on this world and would believe that this story is actually real, in which case he is still the dumbest motherfucker on this world.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:16:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

funniest*

Ultraseamus · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If this is real (pretty doubtful), one line from his post sums up how he got tho this point.

And then they didn't see I was clowning, but thought I really did not know what is a potato.

It was not his bad sense of humor, lack of social skills, or bad acting. It was that he thought they were idiots, and treated them that way by committing to the idea that he could trick them into believing he really had no idea what a potato was. He might have gotten out of it with good acting, but you can see that was not a possibility when he decided, mid-argument, to bite into the potato and say "Taste's very strange!". Overacting so extreme you can see it through his comment. And, really, how could he not have thought to at least say "Tastes great!". Why you you throw out a mild insult about her cooking when your already crashing and burning?

McBubblz · 1 points · Posted at 19:26:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It could be worse. They could be Irish.

englishbeast · 1 points · Posted at 19:28:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you

Brian3232 · 1 points · Posted at 01:52:02 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Its not impressive. It's stupid. If I was the dad, I would think OP is an idiot and he isn't allowed to date my daughter

soitcause · 1 points · Posted at 06:31:01 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

How's this one from today measure up?

adoomgod · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:30 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

Completely agree. This is the most brilliant attempt at recovery to a FU I ever have seen.

cyrusmancub · 1 points · Posted at 05:54:15 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is some George Costanza shit right there

lostinthestar · 0 points · Posted at 09:48:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why OP. Why.

because it's completely made up, same as jenny "touching the penis a little bit". there is no girlfriend, no potato.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:06:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

there is no girlfriend, no potato.

Such is life in Latvia.

now_look_here · -14 points · Posted at 08:39:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

This simply never happened. The joke isn't funny, one would never do this on this occasion and certainly not keep it up at all costs for no apparent benefit. This is a bullshit story that belongs in /r/thathappend

edit: downvote away if it alleviates the sting of your own gullibility.

andreiknox · 11 points · Posted at 08:59:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's funny to me, and I couldn't give a fuck if it happened or not.

MrLebanon · 924 points · Posted at 05:07:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Why'd you guys break up?" "Potatoes"

Cheffinator · 845 points · Posted at 09:03:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"They sound very interesting. What are they?"

Wrath-of-Ragnar · 44 points · Posted at 10:37:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

A ~~vegetable~~ strachy tuberous crop that grows in earth, but that's not important right now!

[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 12:36:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's not how this line works.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 14:12:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[removed]

Ctrl_Alt_Horse · 4 points · Posted at 14:17:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's OP's alt account.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:20:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Upvote for truth, and an awesome user name.

Ctrl_Alt_Horse · 2 points · Posted at 14:23:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well thank you. First time anyone's ever said anything.

LordUncleBob · 5 points · Posted at 16:51:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's good that you replaced vegetable with the much more descriptive "strachy."

jinglebellpenguin · 2 points · Posted at 13:55:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I believe it's a strachy tuberous crop and not a vegetable. (the Art section in the link is particularly interesting)

autowikibot · 2 points · Posted at 13:55:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato:

The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial nightshade Solanum tuberosum L. The word "potato" may refer either to the plant itself or the edible tuber. In the Andes, where the species is indigenous, there are some other closely related cultivated potato species. Potatoes were introduced outside the Andes region approximately four centuries ago, and have since become an integral part of much of the world's food supply. It is the world's fourth-largest food crop, following maize, wheat, and rice.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^Stobrawa ^(potato) ^| ^Mr. ^Potato ^Head ^| ^Mashed ^potato ^| ^Russet ^Burbank ^potato

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

Pushoffslow · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

False.

LaterallyHitler · 1 points · Posted at 02:10:37 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

strachy

now!.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think potatoes are legumes. But it's early as fuck.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Legumes are beans, nuts?, and beanpods.

Wrath-of-Ragnar · 0 points · Posted at 10:48:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOmD-xqK2Es

MongrelMatty · 3 points · Posted at 11:46:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You made me start laughing and almost wake my wife. What would I tell her?!

elbowforsale · 6 points · Posted at 12:47:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Simple. Potatoes.

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Still not sure

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:01:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Life blood for Latvia. Suffer is happening, because no potato, just rock and malnourish

phespa · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:09 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is this Latvia - no potatoes fact/joke? I dont understand it :(

Talks_in_Wikipedia · 1 points · Posted at 16:46:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato

ssaa6oo · 1 points · Posted at 19:30:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...

BDillz28 · 121 points · Posted at 11:41:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In the not so distant future, "Askreddit, what is the dumbest reason you have ever broken up with someone?"

"Because he didn't know what a potato was!"

Random832 · 4 points · Posted at 15:01:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And then someone finds this thread and says "If you think it was a dumb reason maybe you should get back together with him [link to thread]".

[deleted] · 44 points · Posted at 09:37:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Po-ta-toes.

Share the load.

Shanaki · 2 points · Posted at 10:22:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Is that some sort of disorder?"

foghornbutthorn · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Not again..."

Yunicorn · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought the initial argument was just small potatoes

ILoveLamp9 · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This TIFU reminds me of the Askreddit from the other day with the spiders.

"What is everything?"

"Spiders."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"Potatoes."

softwaredev · 1 points · Posted at 20:38:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How can he know what he broke up about when he STILL doesn't know what the thing he broke up about is?

often-wrong-soong · 1 points · Posted at 23:52:56 on February 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

You say "potato", I say "What is potato?"

MysticLeviathan · 4289 points · Posted at 04:22:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When she tells you she's breaking up with you, tell her you don't know what a break up is. Commit to that, and exert your dominance.

Soccadude123 · 545 points · Posted at 07:13:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, she got a restraining order.

MysticLeviathan · 311 points · Posted at 07:16:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a restraining order?

[deleted] · 418 points · Posted at 08:45:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So first when the restraining order became on my door, I acted very interesting.

griggsy92 · 161 points · Posted at 09:18:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this has made me very shamed to not know what is a restraining order.

iatethecheesestick · 2 points · Posted at 14:57:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shamed, embarrassed, disgusted, and bashful.

[deleted] · 42 points · Posted at 10:49:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wait what's a door? What is this odd device? What magic allows a man to pass through walls?!

ClintRenee · 2 points · Posted at 15:47:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I was shocked, shameful, abashed and aghast, when the restraining order fell on my doormat.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

'' AM I BEING DETAINED? ''

Sandmin · 3 points · Posted at 12:24:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Tastes very strange!"

MrTotoro1 · 1 points · Posted at 09:10:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you really not know what a restraining order is?

MysticLeviathan · 2 points · Posted at 09:12:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a potato?

MrTotoro1 · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should've said: "No, I don't know what a restraining order is." to which I would've replied: "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us, admit it!"

But what's a potato?

sirry_in_vancity · 2 points · Posted at 22:05:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Get the fuck outta my Reddit!"

Matter94 · 1 points · Posted at 09:52:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a non native English speaker I really don't know what a restraining order is

MagicKiller · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a legal order that prevents you from doing something. The way it is used most often, it orders someone to stay away from another person and not come near them. So if you for a restraining order against me, it might say that I can't get within 100 meters of you or I could be arrested. It's intended to protect people from potential violence.

Matter94 · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ah okay, thanks :)

RainDownMyBlues · -1 points · Posted at 10:48:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's intended to protect people from potential violence.

Or surprise sex! ;)

Liquidmentality · 1 points · Posted at 16:37:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's not rape if you yell "Surprise!" first.

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 10:30:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Prosecution? Huh?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes very strange.

redog · 1 points · Posted at 17:08:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes strange.....<makes high pitch noise>

smackson · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pick up the bar of soap? What is 'bar of soap'??

arkkkk · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Carly pls.

JesusCries · 1038 points · Posted at 06:04:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes, do that.

Gundam5388 · 58 points · Posted at 07:53:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Where is this from?

[deleted] · 192 points · Posted at 08:31:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

10GRAMSOFCOCAINE · 166 points · Posted at 08:38:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Clicked, confused, ashamed.

[deleted] · 41 points · Posted at 08:41:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

10GRAMSOFCOCAINE · 42 points · Posted at 08:47:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But, why am I still so hard?

griggsy92 · 20 points · Posted at 09:17:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Probably the coke

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:50:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hmmm... coke.

FatAssOrangeRhino · 1 points · Posted at 12:40:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

You ever been fucked in the ass?

griggsy92 · 2 points · Posted at 12:44:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have, it's overrated.

You've clearly never seen a joke. But thanks for letting me know how cool you are, man

MrBackwardsHat · 0 points · Posted at 13:54:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never done coke have you??

griggsy92 · 2 points · Posted at 14:06:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have actually, I said it for the sake of the joke though

MrBackwardsHat · 0 points · Posted at 14:11:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No u said it in order to reference his handle but that's just mislead comment that isn't factually correct.

griggsy92 · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes, I'm sorry. I should keep my mind on the important things, such as educating random redditors about the proper side effects of cocaine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I would hate to do anything with you because you seem unnecessarily pedantic and Totally. Not. Chilled, bro

MrBackwardsHat · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:12 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Grammar issues, can't follow sorry!!

griggsy92 · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:16 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

but that's just mislead comment that isn't factually correct.

Kappa

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:34:31 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

10GRAMSOFCOCAINE · 1 points · Posted at 04:40:26 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

It said, "FUCK YOU KAIDORACER"

JLeow00 · 0 points · Posted at 11:19:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shut up, Zack

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:56:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

road to committing 100%

Dodgiestyle · 99 points · Posted at 09:20:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"It's an image hosting site, but that's not important right now."

A_HumblePotato · 2 points · Posted at 11:43:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Surely you can't be serious?

12empty · 2 points · Posted at 13:50:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Came here or the gags, found your username. Liked it, given the context.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:49:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am. And don't call me 'Shirley'.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:50:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This man is always worth an upvote.

meownila-PI · 13 points · Posted at 09:07:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never heard of it.

dftba814 · 4 points · Posted at 11:10:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Ah the old reddit Imguroo

Edit: hyperlink

Flag_Route · 1 points · Posted at 11:39:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You can hyper link on mobile pretty easily. Just

[TEXT](LINK)

aubedullah · 2 points · Posted at 08:52:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I click on this shit only to find "unfortunately reddit has stopped", I use Reddit News on Android.

15liam20 · 1 points · Posted at 09:41:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reddit has stopped?! Shit! I guess I'm not posting this then.

aubedullah · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I restarted it. :)

username_crisis · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Better use RedReader. Its one of the best reddit clients.

Adahn_The_Nameless · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

if only Android believed...

aubedullah · 1 points · Posted at 10:39:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Oops, this page is currently unavailable in your region"

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:30:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just realized I've never seen the front page of imgur before.

Yrupunishingme · 9 points · Posted at 09:53:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The two on the left look like Jason and Kelly from The Game. Didn't know Jason Momoa was on that show though

[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 09:07:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stargate Atlantis.

ProphetChuck · 3 points · Posted at 10:48:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

God.. I miss that show.

UncleGrga · 4 points · Posted at 10:57:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

so thats Carl Drogo??

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:00:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah.

He also played Ronan on Stargate Atlantis. This .gif is from "The Game", I believe.

Jason Momoa is... I love him.

wOlfLisK · 5 points · Posted at 12:24:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's actually the king of Atlantis. It just never came up in the show. Also, he can communicate with those giant whales. There's a documentary about it coming out soon, it has Batman in it.

UTF64 · 1 points · Posted at 15:44:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

what

BordersRanger01 · 5 points · Posted at 01:03:55 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jason Momoa will be Aquaman in the DC movies

tiredbitch · 5 points · Posted at 08:58:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A tv show called The Game. Its a show about fictional football players and their girlfriends/wives. I like it but its probably not reddit's cup of tea.

ecltnhny2000 · 1 points · Posted at 15:25:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The Game, when it was on the CW and still entertaining.

blackoutHalitosis · 142 points · Posted at 06:15:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Looks like an AA meeting in Hawaii. Just sayin. They're rarely good, FYI.

83010 · 7 points · Posted at 13:13:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was not impressed. Was excited for my first outta state meeting. Left ready for a nap.

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 14:54:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

If on Oahu, there is a pretty decent meeting in Moilili 10 a.m. Sunday mornings, and weekdays daily in Kahala at 6:30 A.M. (Though it tends to be a little churchy for my personal taste.) Waikiki Men's Stag can be OK sometimes- totally depends on the speaker of course.

83010 · 1 points · Posted at 00:00:55 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was in Maui last summer and I think it was a noon meeting or something. Definitely wasn't feeling it.

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 00:32:59 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

A lot of meetings here are pretty bleak.

83010 · 1 points · Posted at 03:44:40 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah I got that. I live in the SF Bay Area and we're pretty fortunate here.

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 05:18:00 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really feel fortunate when we get a lively, animated, interesting speaker.

83010 · 2 points · Posted at 05:38:09 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ugh. I guess paradise has its price haha

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 05:48:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It does- but I've been here for 20+ years and I really don't think I could live on the mainland again- not in the city anyhow. I had a really cool home group on the Big Island where I knew tons of fun people from way before I had any issues with drinking (I didn't drink from the time I was 22 until I was 36.) When I moved to Honolulu I figured it being our version of a big city, it would be more progressive and have way more options for me. Not really how it turned out to be. :( Plus there's a buttload of religion pushed in a lot of the meetings over here- I didn't run into that so much on the Big Island, except from really old people. I ran an ad on Craigslist a few years ago asking if there is a really fun, up-beat meeting to go to, and I got like ten responses from people asking me to contact them if I find it. A drag, but kind of hilarious. But I only own one pair of long pants and the heaviest bedding I have are sheets, and I can surf in boardshorts year round. :)

Gandalfs_Beard · 4 points · Posted at 18:35:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thats Jason Mamoa, who plays Khal Drogo in Game of Thrones. He is also Hawaiian.

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 19:09:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Had no idea. Great character! I've only seen season one.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:25:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wearing bee hats is par for the course at Hawaiian AA meetings?

blackoutHalitosis · 4 points · Posted at 14:51:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hawaii (specifically Oahu- Big Island was way better) AA meetings: 1) tons are outside and most people don't know how to project their voice so mostly you catch about half of what speakers say. 2) lots of ice heads who are just totally out of hand (and yes, a bee hat would not be anything out of the ordinary.) 3) somehow in Hawaii we didn't get the memo that it isn't a religious organization, and there's just a crapload of "Jesus" talk. There are a couple decent meetings here, but for the most part speakers are depressing, the atmosphere is depressing, and most meetings leave me wondering if they do indeed have anything that I want. I just keep going back. ;)

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh- and at outdoor meetings those canvas chairs are quite popular. ;)

Bozothefuckingclown · 3 points · Posted at 04:05:16 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thought Hawaii's issue was meth not alcohol?

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 05:16:52 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's on the wane, but there are still a few left here and there. It might still be big up on the West Side.

muelboy · 2 points · Posted at 10:27:52 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Choke meth on Big Island, brah

(sorry, but srsly, lots of meth)

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 11:05:58 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Up-karma for being FBI.;)

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 11:16:57 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you're old enough to remember before there was a Starbucks, an Outback, a Lowes and a Home Depot- you might know my family. ;) Aloha my brother- ;)

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 11:04:51 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not even close to as bad as it was in 2005. Plus now the batu creatures stay in their own strange culture- you don't see them staggering around in broad daylight like we used to- it's not even close to as bad as it was 10 years ago. On Oahu? it's all up on the West side, and on River Street in town.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:09:31 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:11:36 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:12:40 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

lostTHENf0und · 2 points · Posted at 11:22:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Make them better

blackoutHalitosis · 2 points · Posted at 14:52:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We try.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:09:26 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Make a bastard group. Get a bunch of fellow AAs who hate the current groups and go to a park and have your own meeting there.

lostTHENf0und · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:18 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stay sober by really latching on to your resentments!!! Brilliant!!!!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:54:14 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've heard it worked for NA and CA! They're getting pretty popular!

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 20:49:40 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have a cousin who's been in the rooms for nearing 20 years, and she bailed AA completely and now attends a codependents group.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:17:19 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was that because of the meetings not jiving with her?

A friend of mine actually went ahead and with his roommates made a meeting in their backyard. It started with just inviting others over and talking about a topic for about an hour and grew from there. Pretty sweet setup

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 22:23:49 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah- she said she was just over going over the same shit, and it seemed like she'd kind of "plateaued" in her recovery process (if that makes any sense?) She's definitely much happier where she is at now. I personally am agnostic, and lean towards atheism, and here on Oahu a LOT of AA people absolutely do not respect a person's right to have that belief, and they barely pretend to give you your space but there is a LOT of rude comments tossed in an agnostics direction. I personally take what I can from the program and just do my best, and I'm OK with that- but that also irks a lot of Big Book Fundamentalists who insist that their interpretation of things is a must do, and that the way they do things is imperative for everyone. I believe this kind of attitude drives a lot of newcomers out of the rooms.

Starting a new group not sanctioned by AA and still attending AA meetings here would undoubtedly cause some major rumblings in the AA community here. Also I really don't ever want to lead someone away from their own program that is working for them, disrupting what they have going good for them. It's definitely a delicate balance sometimes.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:30:11 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah there's a few meetings like that here in Orange County. When I was a newcomer, I just had to keep looking around for meetings that didn't have that vibe. Steps 2 and 3 can be pretty tough for a newcomer to accept and come to terms with and that kind of meeting environment really does turn them away from a lot of meetings. That's too bad, it sounds like the secretary and gsr of those meetings need to step in, but that's if they're not part of the group that's perpetuating this kind of thing

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 20:47:39 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh shoot! I missed the chapter in the big book about using sarcasm to help others stay sober! Does that work well for you?

lostTHENf0und · 2 points · Posted at 07:52:46 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

ha... nope..active :(

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 08:03:21 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Gotcha. Minahz. Take care brother.

Jarl__Ballin · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm going to pretend you mean an Anti-Aircraft meeting in Hawaii.

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Uh, what? I go to AA meetings all the time, and I truly have no idea what you are even trying to hint at

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 19:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well gee- the chair for starters. Mucho popular at outdoor meetings.

melomanian · 0 points · Posted at 14:42:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell ya

yahoowizard · 30 points · Posted at 08:36:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hourly updates please.

AMELIA_EARNHARDT_JR · 81 points · Posted at 09:32:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Now have OP tagged as Smeagol.

"Po-tay-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE."

Psychoptic · 2 points · Posted at 20:18:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"What's potatoes masters!?!?"

sam_wise_guy · 1 points · Posted at 00:39:15 on February 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

But, but, but... Samwise says that line...

EnterTheTragedy · 2 points · Posted at 10:52:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wait... is that Khal Drogo?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think so LOL I just recently got into GoT, and I can't believe I've been seeing this .gif for so long on reddit and now I've recognized the motherfucking Khal in it.

cryscable · 2 points · Posted at 11:42:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I fucking love Jason Momoa! Is that from The Red Road?

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 10:22:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Khal Drogo approves

nodayzero · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

and post about it on reddit in mini-series with hourly updates.

itsanerdthing · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know why but I'm super attracted to that guy. I've seen this gif a ton of times before and never realized it.

dyboc · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is that Khal Drogo wearing sunglasses?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:36:47 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

what is this gif from?

concord72 · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:16 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why is Khal Drogo wearing a shirt and sunglasses? What is this fuckery?

[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 07:22:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just say no and quote Seinfeld

"It's like firing a missile from a submarine, both people need to turn their keys "

doctordeath2492 · 110 points · Posted at 06:49:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Extremely relevant, do watch

xylaphoneman · 14 points · Posted at 07:36:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

hololelons

Starbuck1992 · 3 points · Posted at 10:18:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh come on, is this already a thing now?

Lexinoz · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wololo

Its_cool_Im_Black · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:28 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is it?

ChrisRonald · 2 points · Posted at 13:50:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Meta. I spend too much time on reddit.

melomanian · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is that that new Microsoft thing?

ilikeeatingbrains · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The female's name is Emily Axford.

REFERENCE_UNDERSTOOD · 1 points · Posted at 09:56:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ATTENTION, I UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE.

Words_of_err_ · 3 points · Posted at 10:13:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Breaking up?

I don't understand?

It is irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a 'breaking up' before.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:46:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://youtu.be/JpduBS_kNPQ?t=33s

Deggyy · 2 points · Posted at 15:07:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We were dating? I didn't realize that! I told my girlfriend about this whole situation and she didn't know what a potato was either!

WaitWhyNot · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pee on her

koryface · 1 points · Posted at 09:49:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Let me tell you, I don't know what a breakup is."

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But you STILL never really explained what a potato is.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:00:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Then take potatoe quality photo.

Plum84 · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, that just might work

ApocketCrocketE · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I literally shot coffee out of my nose thank you for the simultaneous best and worst feeling of my life; choking on coffee & dying of laughter.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just pretend you don't know who she is and why she's contacting you, ask her where she got your number!

toodrunktomasturbate · 1 points · Posted at 19:12:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But don't piss on her.

Sentient713 · 1 points · Posted at 20:55:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And have your autistic brother pee on her foot.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:15:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Careful, exerting dominance will lead to lunch breaks being taken away. No potatoes, then!

griggsy92 · 1 points · Posted at 09:16:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this is a great idea

NorthernBaker · 103 points · Posted at 07:17:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That I never heard of a potato. I went with it and told them, yes, I did not ever even hear of a potato

not ever even hear of a potato

That would be the spot where I burst out laughing.

Never ever did you even hear of a potater, eh?

spartacus2690 · 2 points · Posted at 15:42:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the weirdest game of "Never Have I Ever"...ever.

NorthernBaker · 1 points · Posted at 19:41:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll drink to that!

BestOpinionEver · 1873 points · Posted at 05:44:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is literally the dumbest thing I have ever heard, this is one of my favorite fuck ups ever. It's got everything: potatoes, girls, dads, confusion, and yelling. I love the fact you thought of this, and I love that the parents got so mad about it.

Buffalo__Buffalo · 330 points · Posted at 07:54:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Really all that it's missing is somebody shitting their pants

tsengan · 215 points · Posted at 08:00:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah but it has potatoes. How many TIFUs have potato?

thetruefrozn · 78 points · Posted at 08:54:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato?

Oprahs_snatch · 3 points · Posted at 15:22:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potati?

JamesLiptonIcedTea · 2 points · Posted at 15:56:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What if everything was potatoes?

Buffalo__Buffalo · 4 points · Posted at 08:46:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's a good point. Maybe OP has left room for audience participation, maybe he's giving me the chance to get involved by shitting my own pants.

fiercelyfriendly · 6 points · Posted at 10:01:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We have no potato, only stones.

Kraligor · 2 points · Posted at 10:46:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

98.

TeamArrow · 2 points · Posted at 12:03:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did you mean tomato ?

silversherry · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a tomato?

Lambert2191 · 2 points · Posted at 08:53:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Every Irishmans TIFU involves potatoes

McCatson · 1 points · Posted at 09:24:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It... It has what?

link5057 · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Most Latvian ones I presume

yakri · 1 points · Posted at 12:21:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Probably a lot of the ones that have pants shitting have some potatoes in them too.

andalite_bandit · 1 points · Posted at 13:08:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I dont know what it is about potatoes man... now I find them fuckin hilarious

sahuxley · 1 points · Posted at 15:08:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All of them have at least a bit of potato.

innovationzz · 0 points · Posted at 09:22:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia is never tifu if with potato

Synikul · 3 points · Posted at 10:06:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He should have shit his pants when he took a bite of the potato. That was the fatal mistake in his comedy routine, I think.

gorocz · 13 points · Posted at 08:51:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also missing dildos. Not a proper TIFU without a dildo.

Starbuck1992 · 32 points · Posted at 10:23:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes are dildos if you're brave enough.

cannibalpig · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

everything is a dildo if you're brave enough

Starbuck1992 · 1 points · Posted at 14:21:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you... Do you think we could use her father?!

cannibalpig · 2 points · Posted at 14:28:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

everything is a dildo if you're brave enough

absentmindedstranger · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not with that attitude

OldHippie · 3 points · Posted at 11:02:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am high as fuck and now I'm crying because I'm laffing so hard.

Jackthastripper · 2 points · Posted at 10:35:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHA that was almost me while laughing at this post.

jonrhunt · 2 points · Posted at 11:31:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I JUST SHIT MY PANTS.

There.

Alphax45 · 2 points · Posted at 11:51:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also missing toaster theft and two broken arms followed by a box in his room that he catches his release in :)

Dear_Occupant · 2 points · Posted at 12:08:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's missing bacon, chives, and sour cream.

Buffalo__Buffalo · 1 points · Posted at 12:14:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

With bacon, chives, and sour cream 9/10

MegaAlex · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let's just wait for the update...

turntupkittens · 1 points · Posted at 09:30:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And Jenny

ErinDidNothingWrong · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm assuming OP is going to update us with a spaghetti in pockets moment.

rchamilt · 1 points · Posted at 13:54:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When in my pants it became full, I was very interesting. I was saying, "What is this smell?"

ZeroAntagonist · 1 points · Posted at 03:09:15 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

And broken arms. A few broken arms.

YouLittleSweetie · 32 points · Posted at 11:26:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read the 'It's got everything' part in Stefan's voice & imagined some glitzy, potato-laden gay bar

SL8Rfan · 3 points · Posted at 18:59:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFUs favorite post is the potato post. It has everything; potatoes, strange adjectival descriptors, irate fathers and confused girlfriends, a series of "let me tell yous"...

It's that thing of when OP is sincerely trying to be idiomatic while translating into a second language.

It's crazy.

YouLittleSweetie · 1 points · Posted at 21:37:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A series of 'let me tell yous' made me cry from laughing so hard :)

AliasHandler · 3 points · Posted at 13:35:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you're looking for the hottest gay bar in town this year, you HAVE to head over to "What's a Potato?".

This place has everything: potatoes, girls, dads, confusion, yelling, bad jokes...

YouLittleSweetie · 2 points · Posted at 21:35:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

potatoes, girls, dad's, confusion, yelling, bad jokes, a PEAR.

(I had to add something at the end cuz his tone for the last word usually makes me laugh the hardest)

AliasHandler · 0 points · Posted at 22:26:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks, I couldn't come up with something sufficiently random for the end part.

n00bvin · 4 points · Posted at 14:27:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is material that would fit into difference subs and is bound to become a popular meme. Hell, it's straight up 4chan green text... it literally will feed reddit for a week.

I'm pretty excited to see where this all goes.

APsWhoopinRoom · 3 points · Posted at 10:53:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

" How dare this little fucker not know what potatoes are"

kakayakrasotka · 3 points · Posted at 11:55:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm half Russian. I'll upvote any story that has a potato in it, regardless of its authenticity.

DylTheThrill · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that potato

intern_steve · 1 points · Posted at 10:45:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

potatoes, girls, dads, confusion, and yelling

But, alas, no sex. no sex for OP.

bleachqueen · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know what's killing me more, his writing style or the fact that the father told him to "get the fuck out of this house"

FARTBOX_DESTROYER · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I honestly can't figure out why it's so god damn funny.

BestOpinionEver · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Because it's fucking crazy, like who would think that's funny?

blackoutHalitosis · -12 points · Posted at 06:19:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It would be both funny and alarming if you threw hallucinogenics into the mix. :)

doneitallbutthat · 2 points · Posted at 07:09:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, no it wouldn't... Ok as an spectator yes it would. But as someone who got caught in a weird sudden and unexpected meeting with the girls parents at sixteen while high as a kite on who knows what... No its not fun... Until afterwards at least

blackoutHalitosis · 5 points · Posted at 07:11:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I went to jail once on acid back in the eighties- it was definitely more entertaining than going to jail any other way.

blackoutHalitosis · 1 points · Posted at 20:42:52 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've been watching this comment get downvoted and upvoted for a couple days. What was so controversial about that sentence? What do you like or hate about it?

Nerisamai · -1 points · Posted at 12:54:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i refuse to believe someone is actually this stupid and that this actually happened

BestOpinionEver · 2 points · Posted at 13:59:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But isn't someone making up this sumptuary on worse than it being true? Like "oh I have an idea, ill make this up" makes you even fucking stupider than just doing it.

[deleted] · 2117 points · Posted at 04:49:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You'd rather risk your relationship than admit you were trying to be funny and failed?

Looks like you succeeded.

route-eighteen · 802 points · Posted at 07:22:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing this is why he's only had 2 girlfriends to date.

lbeefus · 1240 points · Posted at 07:53:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's not so shabby. Most people only have one girlfriend to date.

darrenTML · 25 points · Posted at 12:00:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok dad, that was actually good

MrTotoro1 · 81 points · Posted at 09:12:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I haven't even had a girlfriend to date.

therealdjbc · 4 points · Posted at 14:38:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sad- you're like 1400 years old, Mr. Totoro!

MrTotoro1 · 2 points · Posted at 18:06:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh man, already?! Didn't feel that long.

pfkninenines · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No dates, sure, but she said "Hi" once, so that's something.

CellularBeing · 2 points · Posted at 16:19:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry Billy, mom doesn't count

baltimorebodies · 1 points · Posted at 03:28:35 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your poor hand

MrTotoro1 · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:48 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

It lives a life full of hardships

Daviddddddd · 104 points · Posted at 08:05:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahaha, YES

[deleted] · 65 points · Posted at 09:43:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHA I LOVE IT MAGGLE

stevo1078 · 11 points · Posted at 10:48:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Get back to /r/squaredcircle JBL

Mlarcin · 2 points · Posted at 22:19:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We don't want him there either...

pdog8000 · 6 points · Posted at 12:35:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love when I see wredditors out in the wild

Nateh8sYou · 3 points · Posted at 12:17:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

BLACK HELICOPTERS MAGGLE!

Cm_Punk_SE · 4 points · Posted at 13:08:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

THE POTATO IS TWERKING MAGGLE, HAHA I LOVE IT.

Rusty_M · 3 points · Posted at 13:11:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/squaredcircle post outta nowhere!

FortuneBull · 3 points · Posted at 19:18:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I marked out when I saw this post, thank you.

Twise09 · 2 points · Posted at 16:18:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Woooohooooo!!

Killloneliness · 1 points · Posted at 22:03:42 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's not a potato, it's a picture of a potato!

Suff0c8r · 3 points · Posted at 10:44:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

and that girlfriend is...how should I put this...handy to have? Always close at hand? You always have her digits?

Triforceman555 · 3 points · Posted at 12:27:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But not Zack

Cm_Punk_SE · 2 points · Posted at 13:09:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

correction: little dick zack

yungyeti · 2 points · Posted at 10:47:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Still more than me

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:46:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But they usually have at least one potato.

Are_We_Me · 2 points · Posted at 15:05:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, most guys have 2 hands, not 1 ;) OP is skitzo and was at his own house talking about his right girlfriend.

darps · 2 points · Posted at 17:40:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You made me exhale slightly. That'll do, pig, that'll do.

Swifty6 · 1 points · Posted at 12:46:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

those are called successful people.

DyroneTonk · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ah, the ol' reddit daterooooo

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well I can't date two girls at the same time...

Beef_Nuggets · 1 points · Posted at 05:14:19 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

This one?

anxisfun · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My ex would do shit like this. Unless he has matured, he shouldn't ever find his second girlfriend.

XoidObioX · 1 points · Posted at 10:01:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...and he's 36

DuncanPlums · 1 points · Posted at 11:16:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Perhaps he pulled the old potato routine with ex's parents too...

swegen9 · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, that's right.

goatsWithSnapchat · 1 points · Posted at 15:50:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you don't wanna know the joke that ended his last relationship

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:24:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Makes it sound like he is trying to set a record or something

"Second girlfriend of all time"

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:49:33 on February 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

His 2nd girlfriend of all time.

[deleted] · 54 points · Posted at 06:41:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But who breaks up with somebody over something so stupid? If my girlfriend ended our relationship over a bad joke, I'd say good riddance.

rob_var · 622 points · Posted at 07:07:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not over a bad joke, it's about your significant other acting like a dumbass when you introduce them to your parents for the first time.

aholeguy · 132 points · Posted at 11:00:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Most of reddit has never invested 18+ years into a daughter. Their perspective is that of the innocent potato boy. It was the first time he met the parents. This is as good as it fucking gets here folks. It is downhill from here. You are putting on your best impression to win over someone and this is as good as it gets. It goes downhill from here. You should do your best to be respectful to her dad. Now, go tell them all you lied and acted like an ass.

[deleted] · 72 points · Posted at 12:17:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't try with the jokes first round. Get them on your side, then try with the jokes once you know them.

Rookie mistake.

aholeguy · 11 points · Posted at 13:33:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There is no history with this man. It is a reflection of being raised with too high of a self esteem and "everyone loves meh" b.s. You are no one to this man. You are either fucking his daughter or want to. Why the fuck the father did not bitch slap this guy is beyond me.

cosmiccrystalponies · -7 points · Posted at 15:17:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well that would probably be assault on a minor at this point and I know I would press charges in that case. But seriously This is why I only date girls who no longer have a father, I'm great at getting a long with mothers that's easy. The only problem is I don't wanna get a girl with daddy issues you gotta find chicks whos dad was a good man but died in like the last few years or something along those lines.

BaghdadAssUp · 6 points · Posted at 16:00:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know if you're joking but that entire comment feels like you're the one with daddy issues to the point where you only date girls with no dad.

cosmiccrystalponies · -3 points · Posted at 19:01:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No I actually have a great relation ship with my dad, mom, step dad, and step mom. Every time I've ever met a girls parents I always get a long great with the mom and siblings but some reason any time they have a dad the dad without fail doesn't care for me. And if someone obviously doesn't like me i'm not gonna waste time around them or try and buddy up with them unless its for a job.

Notmyrealname · 2 points · Posted at 13:38:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A better plan would be to move to a different state and not have any further contact with ex-girlfriend or her family.

[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 07:17:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't understand why you're being so mean to OP. He recognizes that his joke got carried away, he never had ill intentions, his only mistake was not admitting he knew of potatoes—and I can see a lot of people having that same reaction.

But fuck him anyways, right?

Arsene3000 · 22 points · Posted at 07:47:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We're trying to help. He's a dumbass and he needs to know.

Hungry_Grump · 0 points · Posted at 08:24:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Have an upvote for not being illogical.

[deleted] · -8 points · Posted at 09:18:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it's still a strange family that would get upset over something so trivial. so maybe he is better off without her/them

BritishBatman · 25 points · Posted at 09:40:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're joking right? If someone was blatantly lying to you you'd get annoyed as well, as they're just taking the piss out of you and it shows a lack of respect. I mean who the fuck doesn't know what a potato is

llxGRIMxll · 15 points · Posted at 09:50:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Babies. Your move guy.

thetruestbro · 11 points · Posted at 10:22:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Get the fuck out of this house

snorting_dandelions · 10 points · Posted at 10:22:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wouldn't want my daughter to date babies(not even people who appear not to be babies on the outside), so really it's understandable the father in the story has been upset.

Matter94 · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hm true, one of the first English words I learned was potato I think

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 16:02:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Actually, I think/hope that I would realize that he put himself in that position by trying to be funny and let him out easy. I'm not the kind of guy to get upset over something like that. And even if I didn't I wouldn't get upset, I would probably get in touch with his parents and ask them how it is possible that their kid does not know what a potatoe is and then laugh at him afterwards. Case closed. Either way, nothing to get angry about, imho.

BritishBatman · 3 points · Posted at 16:10:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But you've tried to let him out - "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it." But he's just carried on with his blatant lying. I wouldn't get upset but it would be incredibly annoying and it'd get under my skin.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 16:58:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know in what tone that was said. If you half yell at him at that point, of course he will be intimidated and maybe keep the sharade. All I'm saying is, yes, he acted like an idiot, but he did not have bad intentions, he is just socially awkward, so I don't see a reason to get mad at him. If the parents were cool, this might have turned into a hilarious situation and a running gag.

BritishBatman · 2 points · Posted at 17:24:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know his intentions weren't bad. But it still doesn't make it any less grinding. I don't really see how this could turn either hilarious or into a running gag. Best case scenario is they think you're a bit strange

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:28:58 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

People think I am strange or weird and we joke about it. Everybody is weird in some way. Show me a normal person and I'll show you an illusion. That's apparently the problem, people being too uptight and thinking their shit don't stink.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:29:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

because it is something a sociopath would do, and only show how immature the OP is. is he so stupid that instead of admitting he is wrong he would rather continue along the path of a complete retard, she is better off without him in my mind. it is the small things that matter in a relationship, if someone is willing to take something this far, they are psychopathic

vatech1111 · 0 points · Posted at 11:02:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sociopath? He probably was just nervous as fuck. I doubt he is a sociopath but rather just socially awkward

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:32:56 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

a trait of a sociopath is someone who lies for kicks

vatech1111 · 1 points · Posted at 05:30:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

A trait. A trait of diabetes is peeing a lot. Everyone who pees a lot had diabetes? No. Definitely not. Causation does not lead correlation

no_no_NO_okay · 4 points · Posted at 09:41:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think they're more angry because they think he's trying to fuck with them, still retarded to get so mad about it, but I get it.

fiercelyfriendly · 15 points · Posted at 10:17:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, they know he is trying to fuck with them. It is impossible to grow up in a normal western society and not know what a potato is. And him carrying on the ridiculous charade makes him to be a complete cock. The first time you meet your GF parents is not the time to pull stunts like this.

vatech1111 · -4 points · Posted at 11:00:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What kind of parent yells at this guy though? Like if this happened to me is be like Lol you're funny and move on. These parents were so self righteous they had to prove they knew he was bullshitting instead of letting it slide

fiercelyfriendly · 7 points · Posted at 11:32:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What kind of parent? A parent who doesn't want his daughter fucked by a complete idiot. Letting it slide? The one not letting it slide was OP. There was a time it might have been recoverable after one minute.

ZeroAntagonist · 2 points · Posted at 17:17:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

I'm not a father, but having a daughter dating a guy who claims to not know what a potato is...I'd be thinking what kind of weird lies he's telling my daughter. Especially if she didn't seem to be in on the "joke" or the lies. The father probably saw his daughter getting upset and confused as well (her leaving the room, and acting confused). I bet he was more pissed that this weirdo was putting his daughter in an awkward position, when she was just trying to have a nice dinner to introduce this guy. He wasn't just insulting the parents intelligence, but his GF's as well.

"Condom, what are these condoms you speak of?!" :)

kryosdo · -13 points · Posted at 09:48:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't even comprehend why you'd break up with someone because of that. No matter how much they fucked up the relationship with your parents. It's your SO, not your parents', and it just kinda disgusts me that people break up over such irrelevant things.

Arsene3000 · 3 points · Posted at 15:43:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's not irrelevant. What happens if this idiot of a boyfriend pulls this shit at her job? Or in front of her friends? I don't know about you, but having a SO who transforms into a retard at important moments is a deal-breaker for me.

Hitmon · 2 points · Posted at 10:49:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Unless your parents when they first meet people you know pretend to not know what a potato, or some other guffin is, then you as a person would probably like to have a relationship with them, and not the retard lying about not know what a potato is, and not breaking character about it.

the_toaster_lied · 2 points · Posted at 14:13:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be breaking up with him over the relationship he's now established with her parents.

It would be because he was disrespectful and a total idiot.

ShareHappyness · 354 points · Posted at 07:11:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This wasn't a bad joke. This is just utterly retarded to the Nth degree. People like the OP are annoying as fuck because they know they're lying, but won't admit to it.

Like if the OP was trolling the parents on purpose, it'd be at least funny. But he's just too stupid to realize when to call it quits.

SweetboyRomero · 284 points · Posted at 08:42:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it."

THEY EVEN GAVE HIM AN OUT. WHY CONTINUE AFTER THIS?! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

ShareHappyness · 154 points · Posted at 10:15:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seriously, they asked him if he was joking right off the bat, and then multiple times afterwards.

He's like that 4 year old that you see break something in front of you, and you confront him about it, and denies doing it.

SweetboyRomero · 127 points · Posted at 10:25:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The awkwardness is strong in this one. So strong. "The only thing I could do is continue with it."

The fuck outta here with that bullshit. AND THEN TO CONTINUE THE LIE OVER TEXT LATER WITH HIS GF OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

ShareHappyness · 34 points · Posted at 10:36:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seriously man. I really hope his GF breaks up with his dumbass. Straight up lying to her over the stupidest reason.

rabblerabble2000 · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Strong case of neckbeard?

Pester_Stone · 2 points · Posted at 14:54:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It checks out doctor. Unfortunately we have to tell his family, its incurable.

virtyy · 4 points · Posted at 10:12:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, OP is literally retarded

grahamsimmons · 2 points · Posted at 15:33:26 on January 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm so glad the first page of your comments brought me to this thread mate. Best day of my life.

n00bvin · 2 points · Posted at 14:22:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This would be it, I would have a talk with my daugher and say, "There is no way this kid comes out a winner. He's functionally retarded or really doesn't know what a potato is - which in that case, is just fucking weird."

My daughter is free to date anyone of any race, creed, or religion that she chooses, but I would have to draw the line at someone going full potato.

NawThing · -1 points · Posted at 07:22:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you the Dad?

ShareHappyness · 10 points · Posted at 07:27:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wish.

[deleted] · -16 points · Posted at 07:23:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're entitled to your opinion, but you don't have to be so obscenely rude. Would it kill you to, I don't know, state said opinion in a kind manner? Maybe ignore the post if it's making you so angry?

And OP wasn't meaning for things to get out of hand. He made a bad joke, things escalated as he tried to keep it going, and it resulted in his girlfriend and her parents acting in a ridiculous manner. Yeah, he should have just admitted he was joking—and there's a difference between lying and joking—but he didn't. A lot of people would have that same reaction to save face. You might not have this issue, but the fear of being embarrassed is very legitimate.

ShareHappyness · 20 points · Posted at 07:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's called personal fucking responsibility. Dude makes a bad joke (really? doesn't know what a potato is? Might as well say he doesn't know what a fork is.) and instead of admitting he was just joking after his joke fails, he instead trolls his gf's parents for no reason.

Hope his gf dumps his dumbass.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 09:28:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You've got issues if you think this is how anyone should act when they meet their SOs family. No normal human being would continue on a such a failed attempt to a joke and "commit" to it, thats mental retardation territory.

a_jill_sandwich · 161 points · Posted at 07:19:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It would have been okay if he's admitted it was just a bad joke when they first didn't get it. Carrying it on just makes him sound mentally ill. I would absolutely break up with someone who pulled this shit, especially on his first meeting with my parents.

[deleted] · 73 points · Posted at 08:32:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

aeternias · 4 points · Posted at 09:09:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He went too far. Keanu Reaves style.

ballki · 5 points · Posted at 08:50:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I actually think the joke is so bad the dad would have kicked him out anyway. At least he got to enjoy his potato dinner.

somewhatundercontrol · 0 points · Posted at 09:59:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's better off. They'll never get him anyway. A cool family would have just gone along with it, like, not offer him any sour cream to go with the baked potato and just say they've never heard of sour cream.

Agumander · -2 points · Posted at 13:21:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Right? Jesus, I'd never realized redditors could be so fucking uptight. I'm suspecting a bit of a "OMG you got a woman to talk to you for more than three seconds. How dare you mess this up?" mentality.

groutrop · -1 points · Posted at 10:13:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's because he wanted to be seen as sane that he continued with it come what may. He felt he would come off as worse if he was seen as the sort of person who took a joke that far so he would rather act it was a genuine thing. In a way he did it because he felt that the latter would be less harmful to the relationship so he does care about the way he comes across to the girl's parents.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:26:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[removed]

groutrop · -2 points · Posted at 10:53:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He had a clear and open out for the bad joke

He knows he had one but he thought he would fuck up worse if he admitted then because in his mind he had already done the damage so he had to complete the act. Makes sense to me why he did it. One act like this doesn't mean he hates his girlfriend. He had a clear reason for doing it however absurd it seems to us. He put himself in an absurd situation.

[deleted] · -29 points · Posted at 07:27:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Omggg u sound mentally ill wtf is wrong wit u DDD:

Do you understand how ridiculous and unreasonably spiteful you sound? Are you having a bad day? Because I would like to believe you don't treat people that rudely outside the internet. If you are having a bad day then I'm all ears, but if you're just a nasty person, I'd appreciate it greatly if this conversation did not continue.

EDIT: Oops, forgot you guys don't understand the concept of kindness.

Designer_B · 12 points · Posted at 07:36:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Because the girlfriend knows he isn't mentally ill, and is now doing this fucked up skit the first time he meets her parents. It's a pretty significant moment for a relationship at that stage and he's pulling dumb shit like that.

[deleted] · -7 points · Posted at 07:39:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nobody is denying that what he did was stupid. However that is not a reason to break up with someone. I mean, if you're relationship is that flimsy then you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

Designer_B · 11 points · Posted at 07:51:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How the hell is that flimsy? It's probably the first milestone their relationship has reached. If he's incapable of interacting with their family in a respectable manner the VERY FIRST time he meets them that's a pretty big warning sign. Seems like a very valid reason to consider ending the relationship.

-livewired- · 10 points · Posted at 09:16:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, that dude got so mad he deleted his account.

a_jill_sandwich · 6 points · Posted at 10:35:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I reminded him why he can't stand Redditors, apparently. His account was two days old.

You know those people who think everyone around them is an arsehole and they are the greatest? I think he was one of those.

[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 07:33:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[removed]

[deleted] · -10 points · Posted at 07:38:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I never questioned who you were calling mentally ill. Thank you for reminding me why I can't stand Redditors, and please have a day that's as pleasant as you are.

a_jill_sandwich · 11 points · Posted at 07:43:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You accused /u/ShareHappyness of being rude too and neither of us were rude to you at all.

I suggest a few days/weeks/years away from public forums, especially since you "hate Redditors" after two days.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 05:48:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

To be fair, you are being an ass.

a_jill_sandwich · 1 points · Posted at 07:35:48 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You posted that you don't care if a baby falls off a cliff, yet I'm the ass? LOL okay.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 23:23:48 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just because there is a bigger ass doesn't make you not one.

[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 05:47:44 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm agreeing with you here. People overreacting like shit. Like dude, give the poor kid another chance. It's not a particularily serious lie.

ZweiliteKnight · 2 points · Posted at 10:36:04 on February 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's exactly why people are siding with the parents.

He turned a dumb joke into a dumb little lie into a pathological lie.

The parents said they were annoyed and to just admit it was a bad joke, he kept going with it, they insisted that he stop because it's getting a bit more annoying, he still keeps going. They can no longer stand his presence because he's just that obnoxious at this point. He leaves and then texts his girlfriend after the fact insisting he really doesn't know what the fuck a potato is, deciding to take this bad joke to the grave.

He was perfectly ready to spend his whole life insisting If your boyfriend/your daughter's boyfriend handles something as small as a bad joke like this, how will he handle everything else?

Once he keeps it going with his girlfriend even outside of her parent's presence instead of apologizing to her for letting the nervousness get to his head, it stops even being an issue of him being annoying. It becomes an issue of you trying to prevent your daughter from ending up with an idiot like that for the rest of her life. Even if you didn't hate them, someone like that can't be good for your daughter's future.

OP is living day to day like Mr Fucking Bean, and you'd want him in her life?

Sherlock--Holmes · 1 points · Posted at 10:59:24 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Protip: It's the "pathological" lying part...

PrimeIntellect · 1 points · Posted at 18:31:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this isn't really a bad joke, it's blatantly lying to someone because you think it's funny, and when they call you out you continue to lie to their faces, while everyone gets more and more frustrated and irritated. It definitely speaks volumes about someones' personality, especially if they do it the first time they meet your family.

diggemigre · 2 points · Posted at 09:52:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's like a Seinfeld episode.

pulsefrequency · 2 points · Posted at 11:27:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

risk?? shit was over before dinner lmao

InadequateUsername · 2 points · Posted at 13:20:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah the first time her dad said "you're fucking with us admit it" he should've just laughed and said yes. Everyone would laugh and say "I knew it!" And things would be okay.

Nice_Ass_Lawn · 1 points · Posted at 11:50:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just can't believe they're this upset over potatoes

afetusnamedJames · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

To be fair, I wouldn't say he failed. Personally, I found it hilarious. Though, I don't think he reached his target market.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 09:16:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

the thing is, after a certain point he thought it was too late to tell the truth. it gets exponentially worse to admit it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, yes, but damn...! Wonder if his gal is still with him?

PinkEyeIsFromPoop · 0 points · Posted at 13:34:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The father failed. OP is fucking amazing and I'm LMAO. That's real dedication, kids.

RhinoJuiceYumYum · 0 points · Posted at 14:39:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

if that cunt cant take a joke dump her

Fournote · -5 points · Posted at 09:04:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Risking a relationship with someone who can't take a joke? Sounds like not much of a risk to me.

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 09:36:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OK, it was the first family dinner, a pretty important milestone, when you get to meet the parents of your partner and hope to make a good impression. Her parents went a bit overboard but they probably were starting to wonder if their daughter had hooked up with someone crazy. Either way, it's their business, not mine, so anything I think is irrelevant.

mmzznnxx · 1282 points · Posted at 07:03:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

What I love about this post is that in my eyes, you completed your goal of being hilarious.

Pretending not to know what a potato is isn't what's funny, what's funny is you played it as a character almost and made this huge awkward situation. You were so committed you made your girlfriends' parents turn into angry lunatics.

The humor of the palpable tension and awkwardness (at least it sets me off) is already great, but think of the story you now have. You made a girlfriend's parents hate you within an hour of meeting you because you acted like you didn't know what a potato is. It's honestly hard to think of dumber, more innocuous things to elicit such a reaction. That's amazing.

I feel like this is something Norm MacDonald would do and love.

ManekiGecko · 509 points · Posted at 09:19:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It sounds like a Seinfeld episode.

"Her dad punched me in the face."

"He p..., what, why?."

"I pretended not to know what a potato is."

InsaneClonedPuppies · 139 points · Posted at 09:27:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seinfeld popped into my mind too. Something George would do.

Nimonic · 194 points · Posted at 11:35:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I had to commit, Jerry! I had to!

AreYouFilmingNow · 19 points · Posted at 11:28:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Something ONLY George would do!

CelestialBeekeeper · 8 points · Posted at 11:53:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Well let me tell you, Jerry..."

Semyonov · 3 points · Posted at 10:50:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And then Kramer does his head bobbing thing

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 11:23:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kramer: "I like to stop at the potato free shop"

ManekiGecko · 1 points · Posted at 10:40:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Exactly. George got punched in the face and tells Jerry.

InfanticideAquifer · -3 points · Posted at 10:29:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah... they didn't specify which characters, but in my head it was definitely George punching Jerry in the face.

wawin · 2 points · Posted at 14:00:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seems like something Michael Scott would do.

chris45215 · 1 points · Posted at 15:36:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"A potato Jerry, a potato!"

wineandchocolatecake · 76 points · Posted at 10:11:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can totally picture him on Conan's couch, telling this story. It's perfect if you go back and read it in his voice.

God I love Norm.

mmzznnxx · 164 points · Posted at 10:40:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Here's how I like to imagine it with Norm if he was telling the story:

So he says, "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it."

And I uh, heheh, and I respond "What? Noooooo. These things are crazy to me. It's a new frontier.... They're like, uh, ROCKS, and they sort of taste like really thick bread. I have NEVER...I've never heard of these things. Do they like, uh, come from a tree, or what's that story like?

I remember growing up, heheh, and we didn't get crazy foods like these. In fact I can still... taste... all those TV dinners Mom used to buy. Yeahhh, the uh, salisbury steak, green beans, and mac and cheese. But uh, these things are delicious! I'd a hoped someone would have showed me them sooner. Y'know, heh, you should have me over more often, for these strange new things..."

SO, heheh, so he goes—and I quote—"Get the fuck out."

That's how I hear it. You have to mentally supply him grinning like a fool the entire time though. Is it weird that I imagine scenarios like OP's story with Norm inserted into them and what he would say?

yes_it_is_weird · 80 points · Posted at 10:41:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

wineandchocolatecake · 2 points · Posted at 23:32:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As long as you keep writing them out for our enjoyment, no, it's not weird. That was perfect!

coolsexguy420boner · 2 points · Posted at 16:54:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is perfect. I can hear norm's delivery and shit eating grin just by reading this

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:35:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was way better than the original post.

xTRS · 1 points · Posted at 15:26:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That sounded just like Norm in my head

sosr · 29 points · Posted at 12:00:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It isn't Norm, this is some Andy Kaufman type shit.

[deleted] · 27 points · Posted at 14:14:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kaufman is who I thought of too. OP might be a comedy genius.

Kaufman story that OP's story reminds me of:

Kaufman would punish such audiences by reading the novel The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald to them. According to that version of events, the audience would laugh at this, not realizing that he was serious, and Kaufman would proceed to read the entire book to them, continuing despite most of the audience members' departure. In reality Kaufman was more jokey with his audiences: He would read a few pages, and then he would ask the audience if they wanted him to keep reading, or play a record. When the audience chose to hear the record, the record he cued up was a recording of him continuing to read The Great Gatsby from where he had left off.

UnreasonableDoubter · 6 points · Posted at 11:04:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like this is something Norm MacDonald would do and love.

Well written synopsis. I was thinking Andy Kaufman while reading this too. OP is brilliant.

somethingsomethingbe · 4 points · Posted at 09:55:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The every day performance artist.

Thac0 · 3 points · Posted at 12:57:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Its great too because as an adult I imagine everyone else online is too a lot. I'm thinking some guy in his 30s is doing this like Steve Carell or something.

praise_the_hankypank · 3 points · Posted at 11:37:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was thinking OP is the next Andy Kaufman

StarfighterProx · 2 points · Posted at 13:56:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Girlfriend #3 is going to love the potato story.

tdt0005 · 2 points · Posted at 16:38:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

These are my thoughts exactly. If I was the parents I would apologize for acting so crazy, and then just give him a bag of potatoes for Christmas for the rest of his life if they got married.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:50:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would like to take a moment to respond to this post to address a very important topic to me: the eradication of the native American people. To help me with this I bring up chief strong bow of the Cherokee tribe.

A native American with full war ensemble walks up to the keyboard

People of reddit I am chief strong bow of the proud Cherokee people. When the white man came to this land They killed my people.....

(If you're scratching your head look up norm MacDonald at the comedy awards)

AlaskaPA-C · 5 points · Posted at 09:55:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I had a friend in high school that almost got us killed on multiple occasions by SCREAMING at bystanders "I'M A TOMATO!!!!!". What he was screaming was so out of realm of sense people just assumed he was saying something REALLY fucked up to them.

Mere_Anarchy · 2 points · Posted at 11:18:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ugh, I've known people like that - assholes who think they're being quirky and eccentric by shouting 'random' nonsense at strangers. They deserve to get their asses kicked.

AlaskaPA-C · 2 points · Posted at 20:29:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yea. We got pretty sick of it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's hilarious to us on the outside looking in, for sure.

To anyone at the table, I think probably not. :(

itwasmadeupmaybe · 1 points · Posted at 15:58:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it is now time for you to begin being a stand up comic OP.

evebrah · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think internet trolling might have just crossed over in to his real life.

Llamaxaxa · 1 points · Posted at 18:30:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reminds me of Andy Kauffman more. Pushing the boundaries of comedy until you want to punch him repeatedly in the face.

recoverybelow · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're giving far too much credit to someone who is stupid

CalvinLawson · 1 points · Posted at 01:41:09 on February 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Definitely Norm MacDonald, but I blame it on Napoleon Dynamite. It got a whole new generation to find humor in incredibly uncomfortable situations. That'd been a trend for a while, but Napoleon Dynamite made it mainstream with young people.

Sherlock--Holmes · 1 points · Posted at 11:01:02 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Agreed! It was hilarious. He just made the wrong audience laugh.

Source: I laughed.

AUTISTIC_PENIS · 1521 points · Posted at 06:55:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck is wrong with you?

VampireToast · 1225 points · Posted at 08:35:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you

fortified_blanket · 623 points · Posted at 09:58:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting."

Reading it again the writing is hilarious.

frist_psot · 103 points · Posted at 13:10:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Guy is obviously Latvian, give him a break.

gneiss_try · 2 points · Posted at 17:30:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never seen potato in my life if I saw potato life would be complete.

[deleted] · 132 points · Posted at 12:34:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's terrible, made all the worse by the fact that I don't think OP is ESL, but just dumb.

There's a trend in this sub to attempt to be very elaborate with prose, and it rarely works to the story's benefit.

mister_head_cheese · 50 points · Posted at 16:56:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The fact that the guy made no spelling errors, and only subtle grammar errors, makes me think this is a meticulous ESL.

[deleted] · 23 points · Posted at 16:35:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I honestly thought it worked to this story's benefit. That line /u/fortified_blanket quoted in particular was my favorite. It made me laugh and even swoon a little bit.

WinkiiTinkii · 3 points · Posted at 04:03:38 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought it was hilarious.

recoverybelow · -4 points · Posted at 18:32:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yea, I've noticed this becoming prevalent. People use prose and odd word placement to get attention, and it just ends up reading like a shitty fan fic for real life. It's awful

NSFWIssue · 9 points · Posted at 14:25:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It sounds like some eastern European author who never quite mastered English

Eightball007 · 9 points · Posted at 17:42:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Agreed, I think this line is my favorite:

That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room.

No idea what the father is yelling, how hard he's yelling it or how red and veiny he got. Was he saying anything, just yelling in general or making Opie noises? And apparently the mother was like "What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?"

He gives our imaginations so much to work with.

Youdontuderstandme · 4 points · Posted at 14:40:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think he's a Nigerian Prince.

hungry_lobster · 3 points · Posted at 02:38:03 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It did it for me. The writing made the story more interesting. It's a double whammy. First whammy being not knowing whether this kid is joking or not, second being whether the language is intentional or not. Or this guy is a genius and knew this would cause a comical stir. Fucking genius.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yea wtf? I just don't understand what is going on in this guys mind.

Tinderkilla · 1 points · Posted at 18:55:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It took you reading it twice to realize that?

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 11:48:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

CitrusHorse · 3 points · Posted at 19:34:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, "Chinaman" is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

Clanginandbangin · -1 points · Posted at 12:51:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I cringed the entires time I was reading this. Sorry op, but if I was the father I would have asked you to leave at the first "let me tell you."

kelthazar · 205 points · Posted at 09:55:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought I was the only one who noticed that. Well let me tell you, it got annoying quick.

PM_ME_UR_COCO · 15 points · Posted at 11:35:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Real fucking quick

NubEnt · 4 points · Posted at 11:48:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you. I'll tell you how.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:28:02 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I counted 6 "let me tell you"s and, I should tell you, 1 "i should tell you"

takingbackmilton · 5 points · Posted at 11:17:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought it was awesome and wondered if he was going to do it the entire post after the first instance. Whoever says "let me tell you" once will definitely do it again.

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 11:32:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, i'm going to try and use this in every fucking reddit post i fucking make.

FlowersOfSin · 2 points · Posted at 14:32:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Two times in two sentences right at the beginning. I just had to Ctrl+F "let me" and highlight them all...

We all have those little things when we talk, but some more than others.

Suraru · 2 points · Posted at 11:01:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know a guy who says that a lot in real life.

He's a big time homestuck fan.

hoopstick · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly I kept waiting for him to start talking about Shuvs and Zuuls.

softwaredev · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought there wasn't to be some sort of joke at the end, like this story was all fake or something. I mean for all we know it could be.

UndeadBread · 6 points · Posted at 10:23:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like we've met.

VampireToast · 4 points · Posted at 11:07:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fantastic name you got there.

Letchworth · 2 points · Posted at 11:02:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All about how

ehehe · 2 points · Posted at 11:43:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly, that's the only thing that makes me think its real

sparklebat · 2 points · Posted at 13:55:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lost it at this. Thank you for the giggle!

jessiejables · 2 points · Posted at 19:32:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The are nine variations of "let me tell you". From "Let me tell you" to "I will tell you" and "I should tell you". NINE!! I have never been so annoyed reading something on reddit. IDK if he was trying to go for a certain style of writing on here to make himself seem like he's a good writer like /u/_vargas_ but goddamn OP is retarded. Not just the potato thing, because yeah that's fucking stupid. Just..everything in this post is so cringey. I don't know if OP is an autist or what, but Jesus. OP's gf dodged a goddamn bullet.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

About a little guy

roidoid · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm imagining OP as Hulk Hogan delivering a shouty, breathy promo. Every time OP writes "Well let me tell you", I add "brother". It makes the stupidity of this post even better.

verycoolperson123 · 151 points · Posted at 09:11:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LITERALLY WHAT IS GOING ON. I'm more embarassed about this than anything that has ever happened to me.

AnneViper1 · 18 points · Posted at 14:05:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is the definition of second hand embarrassment. The germans have a word for this situation: fremdschämen. This is so utterly cringe-worthy, I feel bad for the gf (ex gf?)

[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 11:56:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm cringing super hard right now...

uscjimmy · 2 points · Posted at 12:30:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

sometimes stubborn people just keep lying instead of admitting what they said was dumb as fuck.

[deleted] · 307 points · Posted at 09:09:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh jesus, when /u/AUTISTIC_PENIS is asking you what the fuck's wrong with you, you know you fucked up but good.

[deleted] · -29 points · Posted at 10:38:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ha! Funny Usernames on REDDIT! LOL! Let's point out the funny USERNAMES!

Guys, this guy made his reddit account at 5AM!! lol What a weird time to make a reddit account!

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 10:47:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

nice meme man XDDDDD lolz

nice_meme_bot · 2 points · Posted at 10:47:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nice meme!

LittleGhostbuster · 6 points · Posted at 15:32:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OH MAN. YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

Please, emphasize to us even more on how condescendingly clever you are. Oh man, nice meme. Go on, mr comedy gold.

RawrDitt0r · 3 points · Posted at 12:43:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude. DUDE. I like Rush, too. No need to be a dick about it

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:54:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Woah, Dylan. No need to rush.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:26:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Haha! Get a load of this guy! He moderates a sub named after, get this, HIMSELF!

COMEDY GOLD, L O L.

It keeps getting better! He uses it to make amazing, well-thought-out posts! I truly feel as though my life has changed for the better having exposed myself to his brilliance!

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 08:18:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Thank god you looked at that subreddit then! I thought I was just using it to test the formatting of new posts! I'm glad you found enjoyment from it!

But seriously, you're right. Creating my own subreddit for making test posts and not telling anyone about it is one of the most embarrassing things I've ever done. I still cringe thinking about it. Thank you for maniacally going through my post history to discover this shameful, shameful thing.

Nigelwethers · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

so random LOLz :)~

easygenius · 3 points · Posted at 16:18:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's a teenager who thinks he is funny.

heldthemhanging · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, I don't understand how he thought this would work out?

"Just kidding, I actually know what a potato is!"

"Oh, OP that is so clever! I'm so happy and not at all mortified that you are dating my daughter."

MuggyTheRobot · 5 points · Posted at 12:06:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Okay, the joke is pretty bad, and pretty weird. But the parents' reaction is ridiculous - why would you get enraged and throw someone out just because of a bad/weird joke (and commitment to the joke)?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's an autistic penis

cant_be_pun_seen · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why would you or anyone get mad over this?

I would laugh if I was the dad. If I so strongly assumed that he was lying, I would make him feel like an idiot, not get pissed and kick him out.

You people cant take a joke.

paintin_closets · -1 points · Posted at 11:21:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP is both a bundle of sticks and a level 90 autist. Especially for sharing this motherlode of cringe.

peeled_bananas · 341 points · Posted at 04:21:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow.....at least it shows you're not afraid of commitment?

absentmindedstranger · 10 points · Posted at 11:55:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well I do think that she is now

awkward_leBONEse_guy · 5 points · Posted at 20:21:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He should play it off like this: tell them that he does know what a potato is, but that he just wanted to demonstrate the extreme level of commitment and devotion he has for everything he does. Flawless.

joseqa · 328 points · Posted at 06:39:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never laughed so hard at a TIFU

thrasymachuspp1 · 119 points · Posted at 06:45:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I cried laughing, why is this so hilarious

[deleted] · 31 points · Posted at 11:40:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I lost it at "Taste's very strange!"

wordsicle · 12 points · Posted at 14:00:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

high pitched voice

InsaneClonedPuppies · 10 points · Posted at 09:32:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Make that #2. I too cried from laughter. It's funny because it's so outlandish and abnormal.

LexusBrian400 · 7 points · Posted at 10:12:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I woke my wife straight up out of bed I was laughing so hard. Let me tell you...

analton · 11 points · Posted at 10:30:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you, everybody on this train is staring at me...

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:54:10 on February 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you it is 30 days later and I just read this. I am literally biting the pillow laughing so my gf won't wake up.

agamfun · 41 points · Posted at 08:53:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Completely agree. I laughed for like two straight minutes. I was playing it in my head the whole time....so funny. Also good narrating.

ahg219 · 3 points · Posted at 11:58:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Me too. I really hope this story is true. I lost my shit.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:09:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know. I would love to try this but I've been with my gf for 3.5 years and they never eat different things.

Get_Stamosed · 2 points · Posted at 18:03:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am literally sitting in an empty room at school laughing out loud at this shit.. It was the most painful thing l have ever read.

DumpsterFolk · 149 points · Posted at 10:44:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before.

I love this.

Isvara · 7 points · Posted at 10:52:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It reads oddly, like a John Lennon poem.

TenshiS · 1 points · Posted at 11:35:26 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Sir, sir, please calm your potatoes."

Lamenardo · 171 points · Posted at 06:01:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them you were baked at the time. They will then understand, and believe you, and all will be forgiven.

DriftDigital · 195 points · Posted at 07:17:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them you were more baked than a baked potato.

socks888 · 136 points · Posted at 10:16:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A baked what?

DriftDigital · 3 points · Posted at 10:22:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know man, I was really baked when I wrote that comment.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:29:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, the thing that became on your plate is potato.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:51:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's call a Poe Tay tow

aprofondir · 1 points · Posted at 23:37:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ooh you fucking genius

shitbirdSF · 0 points · Posted at 08:51:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:10:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was more baked them some sort of baked ground based starchy vegetable.

zeugma25 · 0 points · Posted at 09:06:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In the UK we call it 'mashed'

Hara-Kiri · 2 points · Posted at 10:47:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When we're 14 year old chavs anyway.

fiercelyfriendly · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Unless we're talking about baked potatoes. You never heard of a baked potato??

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A baked what?

zeugma25 · 1 points · Posted at 21:58:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it's not a word i've really heard, no. sounds like a foodstuff - is it?

scallywagmcbuttnuggt · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I was a baked potato. And I could not eat my kin. "

sdoyle87 · 169 points · Posted at 05:17:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you bro

shitbirdSF · 39 points · Posted at 08:50:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you dude

crunchpillow · 2 points · Posted at 11:56:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you about the dude

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you pal

JackAction · 3 points · Posted at 12:43:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN', MEAN GENE.

kamehameherp · 3 points · Posted at 10:50:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bro do you even potato

politicalanalysis · 3 points · Posted at 13:23:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Goddam. Why isn't this top comment? I couldn't even read it because he kept asking me to let him tell me, and I just said, no. No. You cannot tell me.

Idabro · 1 points · Posted at 04:47:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm listening bro

fromthewest · 213 points · Posted at 06:47:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best Latvian joke ever.

[deleted] · 88 points · Posted at 11:50:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There iz no potato, only malnourish and cold dark suffer.

TetsuoS2 · 48 points · Posted at 12:49:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia, man enter bar with three potato...

sorry bad joke, no one has potato in Latvia

randomcaca · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry, what is potato ?

Get out of my house, if you contact my daughter again I will kill you.

tried12andnosuccess · 8 points · Posted at 14:19:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No house, no potato. Only cold and rock. Daughter die of malnourish.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:32:57 on May 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Soldier rape daughter corpse

ThySensFan · 6 points · Posted at 12:48:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this and immediately thought Latvian TIFU!

Pyrolytic · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:19 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should be top of here. Best Latvia humor to distract from cold, suffering and death.

sbr999 · 3 points · Posted at 12:28:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

iz sad now.

underwaterfishes · 187 points · Posted at 04:46:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm going to try this the next time I'm invited to a dinner hosted by someone I don't know very well.

What's taters?

Wish_you_were_there · 120 points · Posted at 05:31:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters? fat parentses what is taters mmm??

spartacus2690 · 2 points · Posted at 15:39:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, that won't go over well.

[deleted] · 68 points · Posted at 06:17:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Haters gon' hate, taters gon' tate."

funkngonuts · 73 points · Posted at 09:24:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They hate us because they ain't potatus.

MadMike77 · 2 points · Posted at 11:14:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Perfect

Xeezar · 3 points · Posted at 06:56:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

PO TA TOES

joshfpedro · 2 points · Posted at 19:42:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7142012231507Hklm7.gif

pizzlewizzle · 1 points · Posted at 21:23:30 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

PO TA TOES?! BOIL EM MASH EM STICK EM IN A STEW

[deleted] · 155 points · Posted at 08:39:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Mere_Anarchy · 20 points · Posted at 11:30:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes. That would have been perfect!

[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 18:15:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

tasted like French fries

This would've made the farce at least 10 times better.

shrubredditdrama · 8 points · Posted at 17:48:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also, my gf said you could have said it "tasted like French fries" and really set them off.

"Oh, you mean ground egg? Why didn't you say?"

ZeroQQ · 4 points · Posted at 17:44:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ya, this TIFU is magical.

leitzke · 2 points · Posted at 05:14:29 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your gf is a genius.

ikefalcon · 147 points · Posted at 07:20:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good.

Aaand that's when you say that you're joking.

Winterplatypus · 91 points · Posted at 10:54:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And apologise for having no sense of humour.

spartacus2690 · 11 points · Posted at 15:42:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought it was funny.

bathroomstalin · 6 points · Posted at 18:05:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Some people don't know gold when they see it.

TenshiS · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:26 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't search for gold in yellow snow, let me tell you. # justjoking #sorryformyhumor

sprigofdoon · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He had a sense of humour, it was just a bad one.

Matter94 · 11 points · Posted at 10:05:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know right.. Like take a 0.75 seconds break and then tell them you're joking.. Not that hard

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:33:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Even then, frankly i feel it would have been okay to push until the moment the dad concretely ask if he's fucking with them, worst case scenario they would have thought he's too intense for dinner jokes.

Longerhin · 6 points · Posted at 11:17:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, it could definitely be recieved as an insult: "Potatoes? How original, never had those before".

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:35:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato

[deleted] · 880 points · Posted at 04:26:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

-crucible- · 496 points · Posted at 05:59:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato based tension is one of the more awkward of all the tensions.

blackoutHalitosis · 95 points · Posted at 06:16:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was the name of my second techno band, right after Rottweiler Fart Theory.

aztec_prime · 3 points · Posted at 08:30:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The fact that's a techno band

Ayy

GrumpyOldVaper · 3 points · Posted at 10:47:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As opposed to one of those new fangled Techno beat combos the youngster are going on about these days?

JoyceCarolOatmeal · 6 points · Posted at 06:43:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In a definitive ranking of the tensions, I would place it in the low single digits after having reviewed this new research.

FliesnLies · 3 points · Posted at 09:12:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

100%

Source: am Irish.

yakri · 2 points · Posted at 12:22:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

One of many reasons why it is so much harder to build a house of potatoes than a house of cards.

Rakonas · 95 points · Posted at 08:52:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think he was going for leslie nielsen level deadpan acting/comedy and they just totally believed him. I really would personally blame it on the parents for being abrasive, but he should have caved when they said you're fucking with us aren't you.

[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 08:54:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

T3hSwagman · 10 points · Posted at 13:10:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have to think of it in a real world situation. It probably wasn't the third time they asked before they got upset, and the awkwardness got to a level where the gf straight up left the table. The situation is probably about a dozen times of them going, "come on dude you know what a potatoe is lets just drop it and move on" and him doubling down with no I really don't. By that point I can see the dad thinking 'this guy thinks I'm a fucking moron'.

[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 05:01:03 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Exactly. If you know someone is fucking with you about a matter, why push it further? laugh at the obvious joke and move on. do people really need to be told "hey i am joking. you must laugh"? Its as if the laugh track has ruined our brains.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Nigelwethers · 8 points · Posted at 14:18:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And he would make you look like a raging orangutan on the internet.

fiercelyfriendly · 82 points · Posted at 10:22:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, they didn't totally believe him. That's the point- you cannot believe someone who says they don't know what a potato is. You absolutely completely know you are being fucked with. And on that basis the parents were right to chuck him out. He was being a dick of the first order.

[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 17:55:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who wants any part of a system of etiquette where you're wrong to pretend you don't know what potatoes are?

fiercelyfriendly · -2 points · Posted at 18:19:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's fuck all to do with that. It's a system of etiquette that means you don't behave like a complete dick, particularly when it is obvious you are doing it.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 18:28:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a system of etiquette that means you don't behave like a complete dick

That seems circular.

JamesLiptonIcedTea · 10 points · Posted at 16:01:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You absolutely completely know you are being fucked with.

If this is true, then the dad could have simply brushed it off and let that be the end of it. But no, he let something as simple as a damn potato get to his emotions in such a way that he threw an angry fit.

generaltsao · -5 points · Posted at 18:15:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We are emotional beings and he was being messed with in such a way to provoke an emotional response. Comedy is emotional. Humor is emotional. We're talking about emotional stuff here, then you say oh he shouldn't be so emotional. Come on

JamesLiptonIcedTea · 4 points · Posted at 18:23:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Over a potato.

generaltsao · -5 points · Posted at 18:27:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've gotten upset over much less. Like an internet comment

breadbeard · 9 points · Posted at 13:16:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it's called a 'teachable moment' and these piece of shit parents didn't even for a second think "oh dear lord we need to help this young man"

i'd post the relevant Bible verse but I think the Good Book is potato-free actually

PinkEyeIsFromPoop · 16 points · Posted at 13:41:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, they would rather get angry at their daughter's BF and kick him out than consider that:

(A) He might have never had potatoes in baked form and doesn't know that chips, fries and mash come from it.

(B) his caretakers don't provide him with meals that have enough variation in it.

Either way OP just tested the father and the father failed. Bet the father sees it the same way.

generaltsao · -2 points · Posted at 18:13:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Neither of those are reasonable. There is a limit to how much in-your-face bullshit a reasonable person will take before they say GET THE FUCK OUT and it doesn't take a genius to find that line, especially when you're supposed to be on your best behavior.

df27hswj95bdt3vr8gw2 · -5 points · Posted at 18:34:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a fucking potato, dude. If you manage to make it this far in life and don't know what a potato is, they should sterilize you on the spot.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 05:07:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am sure sub Saharan people grow lots of potato...

ZeroAntagonist · 0 points · Posted at 03:10:59 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some Navin R. Johnson level shit right here. Let me tell you.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:32:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's funny. It's weird, dry humour. Though Americans don't seem to appreciate it as much.

corobo · 5 points · Posted at 12:51:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a Brit (therefore ancestor of those who invented humour) this guy messed up bad. It's ok for a joke to fall on its arse - it happens. What you don't want to do is be that guy that keeps trying to ram it home as if that'll help. Feel your audience and they'll feel you.

If the joke is dead, put it in the wheely bin with grandma's ashes and move on with your life

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:06:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

With rice: 10/10

YouGotThatGasMoney · 11 points · Posted at 05:09:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

With potato 11/10

AaronVsMusic · 23 points · Posted at 05:59:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

With what?

PinealPunch · 13 points · Posted at 06:09:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know, a potato. You don't know what a potato is?

AaronVsMusic · 13 points · Posted at 06:11:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato? Well, autocorrect says it's a word, so I guess I'll believe you on this one...

PinealPunch · 5 points · Posted at 06:45:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But wait, there's more! The plural form is "potatoes"

Winter-Hawk · 7 points · Posted at 06:52:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Wait I think I may be familiar with them... Are they boiled mashed and stuck in stews?

PinealPunch · 20 points · Posted at 07:13:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

WHATS TATERS, PRECIOUS?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 08:30:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Its stuff like this that reminds me I wasn't the only person watching things on the internet years ago.

PinealPunch · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Definitely not, my friend.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:58:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok, what is this a reference to? I have seen this time after time.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 06:16:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/

says_preachitsister · 1 points · Posted at 09:37:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No he's not confused, he's simply the Borat of potatoes.

WhatWhereAmI · 1 points · Posted at 11:11:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ya the guy obviously has some kind of social deficiency. Hence the second girlfriend ever thing. He might just be a dumb kid.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

if he had recorded it, it would be the funniest video of all times.

zventri1 · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lost it at the rating part. Lol funniest fuck up so far.

downyballs · 1 points · Posted at 15:14:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Method acting and committing to a role is not being a comedian, unless you're doing a farce, then everyone has to be in on it Monty Python.

Tell that to Andy Kaufmann.

The_77th_orange · 1 points · Posted at 15:22:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Committal to the bit with rice: 11/10.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Commital to the bit: 10/10 Audience reaction: 0/10

Well, at least he amused /r/TIFU

BronzeEnt · 1 points · Posted at 17:21:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh come on. If this happened he did it for himself, not them. And if it didn't, he wrote it for us. Audience Reaction 10/10. Kaufman would love this. I know I do.

WildBilll33t · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Unless the audience is actually reddit. Then it's 10/10, 11/10 with rice.

Humbabwe · 1 points · Posted at 18:12:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Andy Kaufman-esque

2600Hurts · 0 points · Posted at 12:33:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Audience reaction if they were serving rice: 2/10

Nigelwethers · 0 points · Posted at 14:16:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're ridiculous. At least you're a really good example of how an extremely dense person reacts to a joke. Are you the father?

Are you mad because potato?

nathanpaulyoung · -1 points · Posted at 12:30:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Audience reaction with rice: 4/10

Thank you for your suggestion.

onaretrotip · 64 points · Posted at 10:08:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This kind of broken English is my absolute favourite. Makes the story much funnier.

theDoctorAteMyBaby · 7 points · Posted at 14:40:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...

OneOfDozens · -8 points · Posted at 14:58:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If he's a native English speaker then he's one of the people I most want to punch in the face.

"I met them nicely, I should tell you, and it started off in a good way. The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing."

That's the most obnoxious writing I've ever seen. Like he goes out of his way to say things in the wrong order just to be different.

onaretrotip · 11 points · Posted at 15:40:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, it seems highly unlikely that English is his first language.

EnragedTurkey · 9 points · Posted at 18:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah, more like:

"Well let me tell you, it seems that english is highly unlikely as to being his first language."

defenestrat0r · 21 points · Posted at 15:40:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You need to commit 100% to this now. Invent a religion - perhaps an obscure offshoot of Roman Catholicism formed after the Irish potato famine- that eschews potatoes in all their forms. Create a wikipedia page. Find a passage in the bible that supports it (literal interpretation of beasts of the field perhaps...maybe claim "beasts" is close to the olde Irish word for potatoes...you are going to have to get creative).

Reveal all of this to the GFs family as though you just found out yourself. Tell them you went home and asked your parents about it and they sat you down and told you that they were part of this religion and had raised you in observance of its tenets. You can then roll your eyes and act like your parents are the weirdest most embarrassing people on Earth for putting you in this situation.

oh and they told you french fries were made from bread because it was the one indulgence they allowed.

Never let your parents and her parents meet unless they have been briefed and can be trusted to dive on any grenades.

angela430 · -2 points · Posted at 15:50:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Invent a religion, hahahaha

r0botdevil · 211 points · Posted at 06:36:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I gotta say, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Your only hope is to come clean. In fact, just link your gf to this post and tell her to show her parents. Oh, and also you should apologize profusely.

remmij · 65 points · Posted at 08:22:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best advice I've read so far in this thread for OP. He's damned either way, but far better off owning up to it at this point. Better off having the family see you as a nervous kid who got caught up in a bad joke than the smartass and/or complete idiot they see you as now. At least sending this post shows your intentions. In the future though, just know that the first time meeting your GFs parents (or anytime after really) is not the time to be messing with them if you value your relationship. Also, if anyone ever calls you out on messing with them always own up to it otherwise you end up looking like a douche.... Anyways, good luck OP!

PinkEyeIsFromPoop · -2 points · Posted at 13:49:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are wrong.

If there is anything to go by it is that the father can go fuck himself and never to give a shit about him. The man straight up kicked his daughters date out on the suspicion he was trying to be funny. He purposely ruined the joke and forced OP into committing and then has the fucking audacity to get angry because OP won't allow him to be humiliated.

At best he is a father that is willing to fuck with his daughter's life over something this stupid.

OP learned a lot that day about his potential inlaws. I say stick to the lie because it's a matter of principle at this stage.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:16:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He purposely ruined the joke

How? "What's a potato" is not a joke; it's a lie. If OP is willing to lie for the smallest of these sorts of things and keep it up, imagine what else he's keeping behind his back. What if he's fucking some other girl behind the daughter's back? If you were the father, would you like that?

OP is a troll, and got treated as such. If I found out that my daughter's BF was a pathological liar, I'd reject him too. If you can't be honest on the first date, when can you be honest?

winplease · 3 points · Posted at 13:32:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I disagree, he should invite her over to meet his parents as part of the apology. They should serve the baked potato for dinner.

I_Am_JesusChrist_AMA · 5 points · Posted at 09:30:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No way man... he can't just tell them the truth after all this. He's committed.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nahh

Experienced user here : Never show how stupid you really are, especially after you made the person angry, you're not getting up in any possible way so leave it at that.

This really takes the cake as a FUCK UP, there's no way he goes back from it and the parents ever consider him as remotely likable.

ACatWalksIntoABar · 0 points · Posted at 06:47:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Noooo OP must remain alpha

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When did autism become alpha.

Fournote · -1 points · Posted at 09:08:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or, you know, don't go out with her again, because an SO with no sense of humor isn't an SO to stick with for more than a few days.

LexusBrian400 · -3 points · Posted at 10:10:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah Fuck that. What kind of stick-up-their-ass people get so upset something like this? People you don't want to be in a relationship with anyways! Fuck em

Nigelwethers · -2 points · Posted at 14:24:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Look at you, trying to be all voice of reason...

It's like when people try to give advice when it's simply not the right time. You know they're just exploding with their "wisdom" and they just have to share it.

Mochafrap512 · 2 points · Posted at 21:34:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The person you commented to does have wisdom. You have "wisdom." You just don't seem too bright.

[deleted] · 188 points · Posted at 05:45:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 92 points · Posted at 06:46:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, you have to say you're just joshin'.

ratajewie · 125 points · Posted at 07:08:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a prank, Mr. GF's dad. Look, there's a camera right there!

CjStaal · 62 points · Posted at 09:27:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As the dad walks in on them having sex "it's a prank it's a prank! Look the cameras right there.... facing us. Not the door...."

JerBearX · 11 points · Posted at 15:52:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or do something totally bizarre, like slap him in the face, pull your pants down, smash a window, and then proclaim "IT'S ALL A DREAM" as you swoop out.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:22:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Somehow I don't see this helping.

EnragedTurkey · 3 points · Posted at 18:01:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I haven't the faintest idea why you'd think that.

takingbackmilton · 9 points · Posted at 11:27:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It would be amazing if we had footage of this dinner. Fucking masterpiece theater

virtyy · 3 points · Posted at 10:20:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Social experiment

SkipperTex · 3 points · Posted at 10:35:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ITS A PRANK BRO ITS A PRANK

ghost_of_drusepth · 2 points · Posted at 15:28:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

just potatoing

iateyourdinner · 26 points · Posted at 11:59:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

What most people miss with this story is the psychology of it. He was already nervous coming into meeting the parents of which underlying notion was that he was concerned about how to play himself and and maybe also keeping up a percieved facade and keeping a respected level with the parents. The extra stress of situation that he psyched himself up to begin and the position he was in - it all backfired.

It backfired because his unconscious strategy was to to be perceived as genuine and real. So when he tried to be funny and it didn't workout he went into panic mode cause he wanted it too much of it not this way to be turn out and this of at least staying true to being genuine was the only strategy he know he could hang on to as his brain froze and the situation spiraled into awkwardness.

The medicine on all this and the key for the future is confidence, knowing yourself, knowing who you are and not giving a fuck whether they will like you or not. This all comes with practice, age, time and of course TIFU's.

abjectsuccess · 9 points · Posted at 14:37:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nice explanation but to put it more simply...

He realized quickly his "joke" was not only unfunny, but that it was going to make him look like a smart ass in front of the parents upon first meeting them. In his fucked up mind, the only solution was to pretend it wasn't ever a joke.

WildBilll33t · 1 points · Posted at 18:10:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Also not being Larry David/George Costanza. That helps too.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:14:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nothing feels better then tip toeing the edge of sarcasm.

bmcnult19 · 1 points · Posted at 12:51:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There was a fork in the road of that night... One way was Farley St., which would have been saying "hahaha I'm just kiddin" and moving on from the flub like a fool; or Louie Ave, which was sticking to the shitty joke and wallowing in the awkwardness but potentially preserving at least a little dignity.

3rdFunkyBot · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Am I kidding right now?" or "That joke was just for me" are two that I use when a joke goes awry.

[deleted] · 386 points · Posted at 07:20:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[removed]

[deleted] · 71 points · Posted at 11:39:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There it is. Finally.

Cherismylovechild · 2 points · Posted at 13:58:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boom!

poo-poo · 8 points · Posted at 12:13:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Having a joke not go over is one thing. Committing to your tardery to save face, that takes true autism.

ParadisaeaDecora · 9 points · Posted at 12:53:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Actually, people with autism typically have trouble with lying and joking. They are very straightforward and matter of fact.

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 12:57:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

ParadisaeaDecora · 6 points · Posted at 13:03:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

By having trouble, I mean they don't do it, or very rarely do it. They are known as "revealers of truth". They are preoccupied with facts -- joking, sarcasm, and lies are very irritating.

abrohamlincoln9 · -2 points · Posted at 11:15:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's not really typical of someone with autism.

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 12:38:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:37:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mate I've been playing Eve Online for years, I know autism when I see it.

Knighthawkbro · 2 points · Posted at 13:44:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

impairments in social interaction (Unable to realize his shitty joke was a failure until it was to the point of %100 commitment)

impairments in communication (The inability to communicate this was all as shitty joke)

and restricted interests and repetitive behavior (The repeated attempts to be funny and fails)

Full Potato

abrohamlincoln9 · 2 points · Posted at 22:24:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm in school for special education for students on the autism spectrum. I didn't think it was a trait because lying as a joke didn't seem typical.

Knighthawkbro · 1 points · Posted at 22:52:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am no expert I was just justifying people's observation that OP could be autistic

stormin5532 · 3 points · Posted at 13:55:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP was full autist

God dammit OP

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:00:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Knighthawkbro · 4 points · Posted at 14:34:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Doing a bad joke to get a chuckle is one thing, but not understanding your audience and using the same bad joke over and over again is different.

Its like when people feel like the made a nice quip, but they think people didn't hear them so they go out of their way to tell it over again only to get the same response. This story is social awkwardness on a whole different level.

invinciblesummmer · -11 points · Posted at 10:43:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jesus that's a bit harsh

[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 11:13:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nope, that's exactly what I thought, too. This is literally the most retarded thing I've ever read on the Internet. Of all time.

Scarecrow1779 · 196 points · Posted at 04:42:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

tl;dr: OP is Gollum

BorsalinoGentlesir · 104 points · Posted at 07:30:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly, having Smeagol be their dinner guest would make this encounter slightly less awkward.

snorting_dandelions · 5 points · Posted at 10:31:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just tried imagining if I'd be more mad if my daughter came home with Smeagol instead of OP, and for some reason it actually works out better in my head, you're right.

Today OP fucked up so much even Smeagol seems like a more attractive guy to date, wtf OP

scrambles57 · 52 points · Posted at 08:45:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

PO-TA-TOES! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!

rockmanexe · 2 points · Posted at 09:46:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

PO-TA-TOES!!

Olaxan · 1 points · Posted at 01:34:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have to link the YTMND one if when the subject comes up:

http://boilemmashmem.ytmnd.com/

spartacus2690 · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think that his GF might break up with him for a different reason now. That reason being that, if he were to propose to her, and put the ring on her finger, he would then bite her finger off and keep the ring.

Scarecrow1779 · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

or he would buy her a ring that wasn't his Precious.

joshfpedro · 1 points · Posted at 19:41:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/7142012231507Hklm7.gif

SHITTY_STORY_ · 76 points · Posted at 07:00:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't tell if this is a TIFU or a Latvian dinner party

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 09:48:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, it was the first time potato was produced in Latvia. But even potato bring only sadness. Only high pitched noise, to hide the very strange sadness.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:56:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm from Latvia, still haven't seen one.

spartacus2690 · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That would be normal conversation at a Latvian dinner party.

Hepo · 0 points · Posted at 09:06:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

have an upvote, sir.

also, username

viceno · 17 points · Posted at 09:37:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LET ME TELL YOUUUUUUUUUUU

bacon_is_just_okay · 2 points · Posted at 02:58:57 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is it... is it okay if I let him tell me?

HappenedOnCuckoo · 135 points · Posted at 10:28:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reeeaaally though? Because this happened on the TV show 'Cuckoo'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421914688&x-yt-cl=84503534&feature=player_detailpage&v=qNQ9VN705As#t=8

AJM1613 · 17 points · Posted at 14:55:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It could be why he thought it would be funny.

jhronald · 13 points · Posted at 10:50:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

reminded me more of the WKUK sketch

tdt0005 · 7 points · Posted at 16:47:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's one that I never really thought was hilarious, but after reading this story, it is.

thelowend6 · 2 points · Posted at 14:04:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This one is surprisingly relevant!

[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 12:45:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 13:43:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it's a totally different story

russmbiz · -5 points · Posted at 15:24:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"What is this? Po-ta-to"

No, OP stole it.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:12:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You might as well argue that Game of Thrones is just a ripoff of LOTR, because both mention dragons at some point.

In the video, the "jacketed potato" part is just two sentences, the video is mainly about what a hippie the guy is.

OP's story really totally different.

kcbear27 · 2 points · Posted at 17:52:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or you're just dumb and fishing for any slight connection.

EnragedTurkey · 2 points · Posted at 18:03:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Redditor for 7 hours. You disappoint me.

Jhaksun · 2 points · Posted at 00:55:01 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe that's where he got the idea.

razzazzika · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Link doesn't work

tdt0005 · 1 points · Posted at 16:42:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Aww, now you ruined it for me.

Rnorman3 · -1 points · Posted at 13:38:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you're saying op is s bundle of sticks?

[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 13:52:17 on February 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was just mentioned on BBC Radio 1.

🎙️ NotKnowPotato · 17 points · Posted at 16:35:33 on February 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

What remarks were declared?

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 21:19:19 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

What remarks were declared?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:21:21 on February 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

They did their own version by calling up a restaurant.

Sikks7 · 1 points · Posted at 18:45:31 on February 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

What remarks were declared?

tamaboyle · 3 points · Posted at 01:23:22 on February 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Any update on what remarks were declared?

SarsAsaurusRex · 1 points · Posted at 00:08:17 on February 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

What remarks were declared?

sand500 · 80 points · Posted at 06:21:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should have told them you were from Latvia

-livewired- · 79 points · Posted at 09:19:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No potato. Only sorrow.

Salubry · 2 points · Posted at 11:33:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Such is life.

darps · 1 points · Posted at 17:49:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And when they call you out on your American accent, better commit to it.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:54:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well I am. What is potato?

billyogat · 49 points · Posted at 08:31:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

tl;dr well let me tell you...

bogweasel87 · 3 points · Posted at 09:07:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tl;dr potatoes

balleriffic · 68 points · Posted at 06:00:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know a break-up sounds bad at the moment, but you may have the greatest break-up story ever.

Dex22er · 1 points · Posted at 01:20:30 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

False. Jenny and Carly.

ryefly · 14 points · Posted at 13:05:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The writing style makes me think this is fake.

revanthedarth · 14 points · Posted at 08:15:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Plot twist: the gf's father was a potato farmer.

AintNothinbutaGFring · 3 points · Posted at 13:02:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

or Irish

damn_francis · 11 points · Posted at 11:11:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your ability to commit should bring her right back, dude.

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 15:58:34 on July 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

before this is archived let it be known, I didn't know what a potato was until this post

Karmakameleeon · 19 points · Posted at 07:30:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Send them a gift basket of potatoes, but actually fill it with yams.

marakiri · 2 points · Posted at 10:46:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP... it can't get better than this! DO IT!

[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 15:59:37 on July 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

we need an update

ElephantVagina · 48 points · Posted at 04:45:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not much will set this right. If you admit now you were assing around, they'll think you're a dickhole. If you continue the ruse they'll think you're a dickhole.

tughdffvdlfhegl · 12 points · Posted at 09:50:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They know he was fucking with them. It's why they got so angry. His only shot is profusely apologizing.

But honestly, while getting out of this is certainly possible, it'll take someone with some form of social grace, which OP has already confirmed he has none of.

just4thismovie · 2 points · Posted at 13:33:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I agree they knew and the fact he keep going made them annoyed. Probably thinking he was making fun of them or simply he was being an asshole

Nigelwethers · 2 points · Posted at 14:31:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You act as if the situation is something to be saved. He can get another girlfriend but it's unlikely he'll enrage another set of parents over something so simple ever again.

No you let this one fester for the rest of their lives. They will never serve potatoes to another boyfriend ever again. Every time they see or think of potatoes they'll picture him at their table sampling the delightful earth tuber and their blood pressure will go up ever so slightly.

That, my friend, is a lifetime achievement-worthy headfuck and not something you lightly cast away for something frivolous like saving face.

Mochafrap512 · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's a chance he can't make this right, but obviously you are out of touch with reality. Think back to when you were that age. Your love at that time was "true." Losing that person was the worst thing ever. We don't know his situation and need to give him good advice. Plus, it's a bad idea to burn bridges in life, so he needs to try to smooth things over with everyone even if they don't work out. Im getting the impression you burn a lot of bridges...

BestOpinionEver · 2 points · Posted at 06:04:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, the dad is the dickhole. Why does pretending to not know what a potato is, as a poor attempt at comedy, make you an asshole? I would say getting very serious in the investigation of whether someone is lying about not knowing what a potato is, accusing someone of fucking with you (that you just met, and is dating your daughter) at dinner, not changing the subject, and telling someone (who is probably under 18) to get the fuck out of your house because they didn't know what a potato was/lied about it makes you the asshole.

blackoutHalitosis · 24 points · Posted at 06:19:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, but he DID admit he was doing this to demonstrate that he is a funny guy, and- well- it just isn't funny. So basically, he demonstrated that baby-girl's new man is a dullard, and has no idea when to cut his losses. Cest la vie, dickhead. ;)

15678999 · 2 points · Posted at 08:01:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think its hilarious im laughing a whole bunch right now.

Anthonywd · -3 points · Posted at 07:09:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought it was hilarious.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:28:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Anthonywd · -4 points · Posted at 07:38:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A kid like that would definitely fuck it up before that. If he's smooth, then you gotta worry. Source: I was the smooth kid.

ElephantVagina · 7 points · Posted at 06:14:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, agreed, the dad did over react. However, the op had plenty of opportunities to bail out.

ohgeronimo · 2 points · Posted at 06:21:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Could have taken it as some sort of slight against them for their food choice. "Oh, the dirty things that poor people eat? I've never even heard the word before because my family only dines on the most sophisticated of starches." Might enrage him all the more if when he thinks for sure he's being screwed with the guy refuses to just give up. Turns the boyfriend into some sarcastic jerk that refuses to talk honestly to you or something.

Anthonywd · 2 points · Posted at 07:11:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't think any (16? Year old) kid would intentionally insult the parents of his 2nd ever girlfriend. It's pretty stupid to make such an assumption.

ohgeronimo · 3 points · Posted at 09:06:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do they know it's the kid's second ever girlfriend? Maybe they think he's a player that uses young girls up and throws them away when they're no longer fun? The parents may not know anything about this kid, which is why it matters if he's making jokes that seem like slights against them. There are rude and condescending and abusive people out there, some of them 16 year old boys that may or may not have wealth, and parents get into fears about letting their children be alone with them presumably experiencing their first sexual relations.

It's not stupid to look at plausible scenarios that your behavior can be interpreted in. They don't know your intentions, they may not know you well enough to know what sort of person you are. If you make a joke about how shitty their car is, they just might be the sort of people that saved and suffered to get that car and wouldn't appreciate your judgement about it.

Anthonywd · 0 points · Posted at 09:14:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You make a great point, I was definitely putting myself in his awkward teenage shoes and not the parents' shoes. I still find it something silly to be offended by though. Either way, I'm sure he learned his lesson.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're in a thread where an idiot 16 year old is pretending not to have heard of potatoes as a 'bit' while meeting the parents of his girlfriend for the first time.

Considering that, it's fucking stupid to pretend you can't imagine an arrogant 16 year old might inadvertently insult the parents of his girlfriend.

The former is substantially more unlikely than the latter.

Quit being a dumbass.

Anthonywd · 1 points · Posted at 08:30:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Listen to this kid, he's not arrogant. He's awkward, probably has difficulty socializing. You can't form an argument without a personal insult, what does that say about you? So, we disagree on opinions, that's no reason to insult someone.

[deleted] · -3 points · Posted at 09:25:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you have some sort of impairment?

I literally 'insulted' you in the exact same way that you insulted the person you were responding to.

I was making a point of highlighting how stupid your own assumption was in calling other people 'stupid' for making assumptions.

You moron.

Anthonywd · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The person I replied to did not make the assumption that I said would be stupid to make. He/she said it was a possibility that the parents could have made the assumption. It was by no means a personal insult towards the person I was replying to. Oh look, you still can't form an argument without a personal insult. Your maturity level is really showing.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 00:17:10 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

And apparently you can't form an argument with making a fool of yourself and displaying some insane levels of hypocrisy.

You don't get to whine about someone insulting you in their arguments and follow it up by insulting them in your arguments.

Whether you consider it an insult or not, that is fucking stupid.

And to clarify, it doesn't matter who you were insulting the first time, you still "couldn't form your argument' without insulting someone, which is the exact same bullshit you accused me of doing.

Regardless, you'd have to be a complete fucking simpleton to think that a simple insult in anyway invalidates or even changes the content of an argument. It's a completely irrelevant and pointless thing to bring up.

It's like you're trying to insinuate that it's an Ad - hom, without understanding what that term actually means or what qualifies as one.

Pull your head out of your ass.

Anthonywd · 2 points · Posted at 00:57:07 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's a difference between a personal insult and a general insult. A personal insult is directed towards a specific person, with the intentions of offending that specific person. You are right though; it was hypocritical of me to stoop to your maturity level with my maturity level statement.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 03:24:22 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you incapable of presenting an argument without resorting to an insult?

It's like you're trying to make an idiot out of yourself.

What kind of simpleton whines about insults in arguments and then does nothing but finish off their weird arguments with insults.

And the idea that you think you can attack someone else's maturity level after that is fucking insane.

Nerull · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:38 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

When it goes on for hours after the initial "ha ha thats funny" and goes into "I think you're all morons."

EpicShitStorm · 9 points · Posted at 15:27:15 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

you are a fucking retard

dsiluiel · 9 points · Posted at 02:44:42 on July 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is by far my favorite TIFU

[deleted] · 39 points · Posted at 04:35:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am confused, what is a potato? I might understand the story after I find out.

teiu88 · 69 points · Posted at 05:50:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Here

Boshaft · 4 points · Posted at 16:07:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, that's a waffle

Jack_Cheese · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Classic.

lf27 · 6 points · Posted at 12:21:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why is that a render of a carrot? Who would do that, instead of just taking a picture of a fucking carrot?

anon445 · 3 points · Posted at 09:33:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you trying to reference this?

If so, sick reference. If not, cool coincidence.

Quick EDIT: It's even the same picture format.

teiu88 · 1 points · Posted at 14:18:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just a coincidence, never watched that before.

Utipod · 1 points · Posted at 11:20:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shit, dude! That's what those are? We had a potato tree growing up, and my parents didn't even tell me.

theDoctorAteMyBaby · 3 points · Posted at 14:42:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did it look like this? http://whoisowenjones.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/GG_CarrotWrap-3.jpg

JackFlynt · 26 points · Posted at 12:21:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A potato is a particularly cheap, low resolution recording device. How could you not know that?

goodfella- · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Found the Latvian.

mmzznnxx · -2 points · Posted at 07:05:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This.

ChineseToTheBone · 82 points · Posted at 04:46:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Huh. I read this entire TIFU with an Irish accent.

cynical_euphemism · 108 points · Posted at 07:18:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Given OPs grammar plus the potato subject matter, I immediately went with a Latvian accent.

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced this would make an awesome Latvian joke with only minor editing.

Xan_the_man · 30 points · Posted at 09:08:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is not of joke, is rokk.

Sputnik420 · 8 points · Posted at 10:59:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am look interesting.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:44:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia, there are no potato. Only sadness.

Matter94 · 1 points · Posted at 10:07:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is that about with the Latvia thing?

cynical_euphemism · 1 points · Posted at 17:28:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

See /r/latvianjokes for examples, sort by top for best results.

[deleted] · 22 points · Posted at 05:40:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i did too, but only after the second "well let me tell you..."

toomanydamnsocks · 1 points · Posted at 11:48:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I also went straight to Irish for this reason. Which makes the whole thing that much more insane - what Irishman has never heard of a fucking potato?

ChineseToTheBone · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All the younglings who died duing the famine.

bsavery · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At least then OP wouldn't have the classic dilemma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOtls2ZvjE4

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read it in Tommy Wiseau's voice.

ConsultJimMoriarty · 1 points · Posted at 11:58:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am Irish and I think if I brought someone home and they did this, they would have been beaten to death and buried in the backyard as potato fertilizer.

AND NO POTATOES EVER GREW IN THAT SPOT AGAIN.

_BLACK_BY_NAME_ · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Indian accent fo sho, I couldn't stop visualising some dude bobbing his head and pointing at me...

aetherlung · 1 points · Posted at 15:16:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

After the first few sentences, I started to imagine OP as one of these guys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnUv2fhFy5E

[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 08:33:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Thatcrazylemur · 4 points · Posted at 10:33:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

lol im so random!!1! xDD

HomieDOESPlayDat · 4 points · Posted at 16:11:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't anyone fucking do it.

Thatcrazylemur · 2 points · Posted at 16:37:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hnnnnngh I'm gonna do it

It's coming

It's coming

HomieDOESPlayDat · 4 points · Posted at 16:52:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...go on.

Thatcrazylemur · 5 points · Posted at 16:54:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnph

HomieDOESPlayDat · 3 points · Posted at 17:06:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh yeah...

Ohhhh. Yeeeaaahhh...

Thatcrazylemur · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/R/CIRCLEJERK

JonSnowForPresident · 10 points · Posted at 17:33:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You literally just had to say, "sorry that was a bad joke" at the very beginning. You would be having sex right now

Captain_erektion · 9 points · Posted at 17:35:09 on January 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

You went full potato

FeenieVonKarma · 10 points · Posted at 14:34:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't give a shit if this is fake, I love it. I love the notion that people would get angry at you for "not knowing" what a potato is, lol.

Mathemagicland · 5 points · Posted at 15:29:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would have thought the parents' reactiom was a little implausible if not for the number of people in this thread who are angry about OP's potato joke.

catsNpokemon · 16 points · Posted at 08:32:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have a strange sense of humour, OP

dildo_baggins16 · 8 points · Posted at 05:34:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well now you know

autowikibot · 10 points · Posted at 05:34:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato:

The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial nightshade Solanum tuberosum L. The word "potato" may refer either to the plant itself or the edible tuber. In the Andes, where the species is indigenous, there are some other closely related cultivated potato species. Potatoes were introduced outside the Andes region approximately four centuries ago, and have since become an integral part of much of the world's food supply. It is the world's fourth-largest food crop, following maize, wheat, and rice.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^Stobrawa ^(potato) ^| ^Mr. ^Potato ^Head ^| ^Mashed ^potato ^| ^Russet ^Burbank ^potato

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

BeardsuptheWazoo · 14 points · Posted at 06:33:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you the next George Castanza?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:15:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

implying

Yamahakid · 222 points · Posted at 04:31:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Oh what a tangled web we weave..."

Gotta tell ya, Spanky, I've read a lot of mess-ups on this page but yours takes the cake. You need to learn what humor is before you try it out first-time on your girlfriend's parents. Some things are genuinely funny but insulting your [ex?] girlfriends parents isn't one of them. The best thing you could do is to go over to her house and admit that you were "very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation." and tried to get through it by using some impromptu humor which clearly backfired. It's called telling the truth. Give it a try. If not, you've only got yourself to blame.

One other tidbit: when you've made someone so mad that they tell you to "Get the eff out of his house", don't try to challenge that person by telling them they're being irrational. You were a guest. No one hired you as the smart-arsed comedian for the night.

BestOpinionEver · 156 points · Posted at 05:58:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I found the dad (or someone equally stupid)! Maybe you should take into account this is probably a nervous 16-18 year old, who just tried to make a joke. You know what I would say if someone asked me what a potato is? "A potato is a type of vegetable, and it is mainly starch. You usually eat a baked potato with butter and sour cream, try it", what I wouldn't say is "get the fuck out of my house". In fact, I would never tell someone who is probably under 18 and dating my daughter to "get the fuck out of my house" unless they did something more offensive than not know what a potato is. So before you climb any higher on your shitty moral high horse against OP, first take a second to realize what an immature asshole that dad is. I can't imaging being such an arrogant/stupid prick I have to spend more than two sentences trying figure out if someone is lying about knowing what a potato is. This could have been prevented by the adults acting like adults and not badgering a kid about whether he know what a potato is or not, to the point your screaming "fuck" at him.

blackoutHalitosis · 44 points · Posted at 06:22:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh no- if I were to run into someone who asked what a potato is, I would make them endure a droning and seemingly endless accounting of the potato famine in Ireland.

Clack082 · 16 points · Posted at 10:15:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not even going to discuss the thousands of years of cultivation in the Andes by the hardworking indigenous peoples?

Let me tell you what son, potatoes are older European history, as old as the Pyramids of Egypt.

Potatoes were the primary energy source of the Incan Empire, think about that as you enjoy this baked potato before you. An Empire which thrived at high altitude and developed a unique and fascinating culture.

Even today potatoes are a primary food source for the poor farmers of the Andean mountains. Nothing brings humanity together like a good potato. I feel pity for your tragic deprivation of the majestic potato and am honored I could be the first to share one with you.

Mere_Anarchy · 3 points · Posted at 11:02:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh God, this entire thread has me in stitches. Well done!

Sputnik420 · 2 points · Posted at 10:58:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The Andeans called it "maize".

Clack082 · 3 points · Posted at 11:05:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah dude you're thinking of broccoli.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:16:07 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You see back in the day a potato was the live blood of my people, and then a disease swept the country killing the harvest. Our most holiest of crops destroyed by a plaque created by the British to drive us from our lands in search of food in America! Some people where lucky though as the Ottomans sent a few ships of food to help us, the Brits forced them to stop though because they couldn't have a foreign power let alone the Infidel sending more food and relief for out blight.

And that's why we tried to blow up Margaret Thatcher, we tried to get the Welsh in but they were to busy in a deep depression because the coal mines where shutting down, around this time Hitler tried to get us to rise up and kick the British of our land for good, we said fuck off because come on if they one we would have full blooded Germans on our door step, at least the Brits are only around 50% German they still have some Celtic blood in them makes them more reasonable and less likely to send us to camps.

Now the highlight of the war was when a downed pilot would land especially if they were a damned Brit because then we could send him to prison, now those Americans where real busy at the time as well, those Japanese people where crashing planes into them left right and center so they built a massive bomb to blow them away and make them surrender, while the Americans where fighting the Japanese the Russkies where busy sending wave after wave of people against the Germans and slowly winning.

And that my boy is what a potato is.

Driftco · 91 points · Posted at 07:31:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What an immature asshole the DAD is?! No way. OP is the worse kind of clown, an unfunny one. Sure I give him a pass because he's young, but that sounds like a terribly annoying dinner. The parents made a gesture to get to know him, and give him a chance which a lot of parents wont even do in the first place, and this is how he spends the evening? I don't blame the Dad at all. If anything the one I feel bad for is the daughter.

Fudgms · 38 points · Posted at 10:17:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or maybe both parties are idiots.

Two people can be right and two people can be wrong. It isn't always one is right and the other is wrong.

MrsJohnJacobAstor · 5 points · Posted at 12:06:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

》OP is the worse kind of clown, an unfunny one.

Such a simple yet profoundly true statement.

BestOpinionEver · -3 points · Posted at 07:43:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When your the adult in a household, screaming at a child to "get the fuck out" over a stupid unfunny joke is immature. That is not the way any adult should handle a situation. The dad overacted, and acted like a kid instead of an adult.

Driftco · 17 points · Posted at 07:53:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like the dad sees OP as less of a "child", and more of an adolescent trying to bang his daughter. It's not like he's screaming at an 8 year old here. We're all assuming OP is 16-18 years old? Also, he gave him plenty of opportunities to come clean. This was just a fail.

jshepardo · 2 points · Posted at 09:42:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

An imaginary fail.

ricdesi · 10 points · Posted at 09:35:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This wasn't an unfunny joke.

This was dinner theater at gunpoint. They made him food, and he acted like a shithead.

I would have told him to fuck off too.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:08:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, because Mr. What's-a-Potato Head is clearly much more grown up. This (the post, not your comment) is literally the most retarded thing I've ever read. If someone acts like they don't know what a potato is, that could say multiple negative things about him. He could be on drugs, or maybe he's a pathological liar. If he's willing to lie to his GF for something this petty, imagine what else he's hiding behind their backs. Hell, maybe this whole post is fake, and we're all the Dad, being hive-mindedly trolled by OP.

BestOpinionEver · 1 points · Posted at 03:31:54 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did, I wish your comment was sooner/placed differently. That "Mr. What's A Potato Head" deserves more than two upvotes, it deserves like 2000.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 03:50:54 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks, man. One might say that's the /u/BestOpinionEver.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:38:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It became a question of honesty. When OP was asked to admit that he was fucking with them and didn't, it became clear for her dad that OP is not suitable for his daughter.

Also, he wasn't "screaming" to gtfo, but - as OP reports - said it - which in my estimation is perfectly reasonable.

Brodington · -2 points · Posted at 08:37:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Actually OP pulled of a successful real life troll, and in the process turned an overly uptight father into the raging moron that gets angry about troll bait. If the father is that uptight/serious then he needs a serious reality check himself. Most normal people would have quickly understood the troll and responded appropriately by trolling back or ignoring it. The father's response shows nothing but a lack of intelligence and an ease to overreact when he doesn't understand something.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Defending the trolls. You the real MVP.

ohgeronimo · 118 points · Posted at 06:27:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!" That is when the father started yelling at me, and the mother kept saying "What are you doing?" and my girlfriend went to some other room.

So you show up, pretend you don't know what a very common (and frugal) food choice is, then say it tastes strange after refusing to admit you know what it is. Personally, I can see how someone might take offense over being screwed with to that extent. Even more so if they've got an insecurity about their wealth.

In fact, I would never tell someone who is probably under 18 and dating my daughter to "get the fuck out of my house" unless they did something more offensive than not know what a potato is.

You're forgetting the high pitched noise and "tastes very strange!". Under certain circumstances those are mocking, sarcastic, and elitist actions.

Oracle_at_Delphi · 53 points · Posted at 10:24:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Rich people don't eat potatoes?

Nitrosium · 5 points · Posted at 12:14:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I knew potatoes were a frugal choice, but I had no idea that was somehow tied to class.

Yamahakid · 5 points · Posted at 15:32:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Due to their low cost it's entirely possible that lower income people have a higher percentage of their meals consisting of some form of potato than do families of higher incomes. Sort of like steak vs. hamburger. Having said that the number of different ways to prepare potatoes are almost endless and no doubt many of those ways are in elegant dinners.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Right? Potatoes are delicious I would think everyone eats them.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Rich people love potatoes.

Levait · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's not like they don't eat potatoes but can and sometimes do also eat very expensive stuff. An over the top example would be that a rich eprson eats taters while drinking champagne while the poor person eats them because they have to.

Twise09 · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They eat gnocchi

ohgeronimo · 1 points · Posted at 13:09:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Possibly. Some people don't eat Tilapia because they consider it a garbage fish, could be something like that. Or catfish. I've known a couple people with stereotypes about catfish.

HankESpank · 4 points · Posted at 13:58:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes are very versatile and tasty but just happen to be inexpensive. If people look down on someone else for eating a potato, then they have all sorts of issues. "I only eat food BECAUSE it's expensive". I didn't get that vibe at all from the OOP.

ohgeronimo · 1 points · Posted at 14:17:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I didn't get that vibe from the OP, but I could see how someone else might. Perhaps they're of Irish descent, and have history of people in their family line dying because the potato made up such a large portion of their diet. That's a historical example of potatoes being a poor food and those with money being able to say "I don't rely on eating potatoes to survive". It's a stretch, I know, but there are all sorts of reasons someone might get offended when a stranger pretends they've never heard of your simple and modest food choice, and if they suspect you're lying it can make the situation even worse because they will probably think up their own reasons for you lying. If that reason explains your behavior, they'll see everything you do in a different light.

I know I'm not the sort that's going to turn down Walmart brand food just because my family affords name brand or something, but there are some people out there with way different opinions.

BestOpinionEver · 5 points · Posted at 07:31:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So your right, but isn't it still an over reaction? I mean this person is a grown ass man, with a job, a wife, and kids. Shouldn't he have controlled himself a little better?

ohgeronimo · 5 points · Posted at 09:00:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Of course, but things tend to happen badly when both sides act irrationally. Both of them have reason to lose a little face if they're reacting or acting badly (even in the case of a bad joke), and it's irrational to let it spiral so far you don't take the time to calmly apologize and explain yourself. Or time to calmly explain why you're angry and ask the other person to discuss it with you.

manhobi · 2 points · Posted at 20:04:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah. Maybe the dad should have had a little more control. But I mean at this point OP was looking like a really really weird and sarcastic asshole. I mean they KNOW he knows what a potato is. And the fact that he keeps insisting he doesn't would lead any normal person to believe OP either has a serious mental problem, or genuinely believes these parents are stupid enough to fall for his joke. They don't realize he just tried to make a dumb but simple joke and when it failed kept it up due to embarrassment. They're probably thinking this kid is trying to pull some lame elaborate prank on them, and then when they call him out, he keeps insisting, meaning to them OP must think they're idiots. I dunno about you, but if I had a young daughter who invited her new boyfriend over for our family dinner, and the whole time he kept insulting our intelligence by trying to pull some really strange and random prank, I'd be pretty pissed and annoyed. I wouldn't yell or cuss at the kid, but I'd sure as hell make him leave. So maybe the dad's reaction wasn't 100% appropriate, but not everyone is as calm as a monk, and OP was being straight up retarded.

Yamahakid · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes. He should have.

[deleted] · -9 points · Posted at 07:36:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

BlayreWatchesYou · 6 points · Posted at 08:14:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a joke right

BestOpinionEver · 0 points · Posted at 07:41:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy shit, victim blaming? Wow, what a victim, someone pretended not to know what a potato was in his house! Someone call a wambulance, I think our victim is going into vagiadac arrest!

The dad is an asshole, I'm not backing down from this. When a fucking kid comes to your house it's your job to be the fucking adult, and act mature. I don't give a shit if the kid had never eaten food before, that dad is an asshole!

aumerrius · -6 points · Posted at 07:36:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Elitist

noun 1. a person who believes that a system or society should be ruled or dominated by an elite.

adjective 1. favoring, advocating, or restricted to an elite.

This was the only thing i had a problem with.

ohgeronimo · 0 points · Posted at 08:56:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is there a better word to describe someone looking down upon other people based upon something like available income, or food choice, or so on? I thought snobbish, but sometimes that's just about money and culture, when this could also be something like a bias towards someone that doesn't consume meat when you're hardcore anti-vegan.

aumerrius · 3 points · Posted at 04:35:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now if only OP was looking down on them for something such as income or food choice or so on. He let out a high pitch sound(volume unknown) and said a stupid line, elite this does not make.

Good detective work sparky, I'm sure your services will be called upon in the future.

ohgeronimo · 0 points · Posted at 19:42:14 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm not describing what OP did, I'm describing how it might be perceived by someone else that doesn't know what sort of person OP is. Good reading comprehension, Chappy.

[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 09:33:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Except OP is not telling the full story, he trolled them and they knew t, they gave him several outs and he didn't take em, so eventually he got his ass kicked out.

Yamahakid · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That the kid was nervous is crystal clear. He spelled that out in spades. That the father acted innappropriately by using the f-word is open to debate. Having said that I too think it was completely un-called for. My point was simply when the nervous 16 year old kid realized his attempt at humor wasn't working to the point of being offensive he should have fessed up and admitted his game. When humor insults someone's intelligence it ceases to be humor.

CreynoldyG · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's being a bit of a twerp, like one of those kids yelling "penis!" in public and thinking it's genuinely funny after the first few shouts. But yes, I agree with you, the Dad sounds like an idiot, and definitely more than the kid. He's lowered himself to OPs dumb level. If I was the dad, I'd be rolling with it and coming up with a way to throw something back at him. I'd hope my daughter was smart enough to work out he's an idiot and ditch him.

billeder · 1 points · Posted at 11:06:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The dad didn't throw him out because he didn't know what a potato was, he threw him out because he lied, and very obviously as well, to his girlfriend's parents first time he met them. Over and over again, even when they let him know they knew he was lying he kept doing it. He's so obsessed with saving face that he'd rather lie than admit to be wrong. First of, that's a horrible message to send to both your girlfriend and her parents. Second of, he was acting really weird, with noone knowing why he was lying about something so trivial straight to their faces, the mother even asked what he was doing, obviously not knowing what was going on. They were completely baffled and confused and very obviously did not know that this was meant as a harmless joke - which was OP's mission in the end. Him not explaining what is going on made it possible for them to guess themselves. Maybe he's making a joke, but not a harmless one, maybe he finds it funny to make them feel awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn't care about their approval and is intentionally disrespectful. Maybe he doesn't care about their daughter. They have no way to know.

I agree though, the parents could've and really should've dropped it. Let it slip, especially since it was the first time and the boy probably isn't that old. But since it did go on for so long and he refused to back down, I understand if they concluded that they saw some pretty bad character trades and if they felt like he was being incredibly disrespectful.

I do think it's go to tell OP how he might've gotten a different outcome and where he fucked up, cause he doesn't seem to realize. No matter if it's the adults fault or not, he could've changed the situation.

bmcnult19 · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Some people just can't roll with a joke. I would have found that funny actually. Not so much in the "primary" sense, but the awkwardness and cringe it would induce. If I were that dad I would have made him stick to his bit by 1) pretending to believe him, 2) asking him further questions, and 3) never giving him an out. Just really make him stew in that bomb of a joke for as long as possible and then at the end let him know I'm fucking with him in a way so that he won't realize I knew his bullshit until he tells the story to someone years down the line. Now I hope I have a daughter or a gay son.

This whole thing seems like a scene from Louie on FX.

flipshod · 1 points · Posted at 13:09:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This part is what makes it seem untrue. I can see a kid being an idiot, but not that reaction from adults.

the_toaster_lied · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would think 16-18 year old high school students usually meet the parents when they pick the girl up for the first date.

I met every single father and mother of every girl I ever took out the first night I picked them up.

I really don't think this person is all that young. I'm guessing early 20s.

BestOpinionEver · 2 points · Posted at 17:29:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I sort of hope he's like 43

scallywagmcbuttnuggt · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lol no. Dad is in the right.

He invites OP into his home in an attempt to get to know the man his daughter likes. Instead OP turned the whole thing into a giant joke and made a mockery of the entire dinner.

If OP wanted to commit to the "joke" he could have just said, " I've never had this before, wow this is delicious Mrs. Gfs mom!". Then they could talk, and maybe OP could be like , "I was just joking about the potato thing". And then they could all laugh.

Instead, OP not only said he didn't know what the food was, he said it tasted strange!!! That alone is insulting enough. You never insult someone's cooking, no matter how shitty it is. You eat it, and say its good. And if it's truly unbearable you take a couple bites and say you're full, but you never insult the hosts cooking.

trueatheist2014 · 1 points · Posted at 10:02:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe you should take into account this is probably a nervous 16-18 year old

OP is actually 34.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:01:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, I'm with you on this. If one of my kids' annoying friends pulled something like this, I'd just raise my eyebrows and change the subject. They're just kids - they're still learning how to negotiate intimidating social situations. What kind of parent throws a tantrum, swears at them, and kicks them out over something like this?! That's worse than the kid's misplaced sense of humor. Jeez, suck it up, let the kid know that you know they're messing with you, and change the subject. Everyone will be relieved and you can move on.

griffinsgriff · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The dad reacted rather rational, from a psychological point-of-view. Absolute ignorance that breaks a belief system, as well as utter ignorance can lead to rather stark reactions. I found it rather hilarious ;)

The best, albeit mild examples are the responses in this very thread.

aztec_prime · 0 points · Posted at 08:35:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's that mans house. He can kick him out if he felt offended if he wanted. I've kicked people outta my house for less ( not really, but I have kicked out many).

Op fkked up. And not everybody has the patience of the Dalai Lama to answer stupid questions and put up with disrespect. However unintentional it was.

Ishmael_Vegeta · 2 points · Posted at 09:34:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation."

NO!

you have to hold frame. at all costs.

Yamahakid · 0 points · Posted at 14:08:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not sure I understand your comment but I suspect we disagree. Good day.

Fournote · 5 points · Posted at 09:06:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why is the OP in the wrong? It's obvious that the parents and the GF got way too offended when they realized they were being trolled. If it were my house, I'd have laughed my ass off.

Yamahakid · 0 points · Posted at 14:07:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I too would have reacted way differently. In fact, I would have felt sorry for the kid and explained to him what a potato is. As I stated elsewhere when ones attempt at humor angers/hurts another it ceases to be humor. Just my personal belief.

yakri · 1 points · Posted at 12:24:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I could have sworn we left the word "spanky" in the last century and in the bedroom.

Yamahakid · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I come from the last century. As for the bedroom, well, the word/name has more than one meaning.

yakri · 1 points · Posted at 22:32:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Damned time travelers.

Yamahakid · 1 points · Posted at 22:33:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

:-) Yeah. It's just something we do.

PinkEyeIsFromPoop · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He should throw a potato through their window with a note saying:

"Now I won't ask you before I fuck your daughter!"

I mean, if you've gone that far you might as well go full dominance.

ghost_of_drusepth · 1 points · Posted at 15:28:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

wow rude

Yamahakid · 0 points · Posted at 17:14:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I consider it not being impressed by this young man's lack of ability to admit he offended his girlfiend's father (and possibly her mother as well) by continuing his ruse. Once the young man saw that he angered/offended his girlfriend's father, albeit unwittingly he was indeed rude. Once again I will say that I believe the girlfriend's father acted altogether innapropriately.

WildBilll33t · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No one hired you as the smart-arsed comedian for the night.

Reddit did.

Yamahakid · 1 points · Posted at 18:32:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Perhaps but Reddit wasn't the host of the dinner invitation.

Requi3m · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Her parents are just assholes with no sense of humor. They owe him an apology.

protestor · 1 points · Posted at 09:02:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He didn't insult anyone though.

Yamahakid · 2 points · Posted at 14:05:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Hmmm. What would you call it then? Whatever you call it it certainly infuriated the father. Not that the father's response was appropriate.

protestor · 2 points · Posted at 14:09:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was inappropriate and deliberated triggered his anger by doing innoccuos things, but this isn't the same as insulting.

Yamahakid · 2 points · Posted at 14:23:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I see it differently, obviously. My guess is that this kid is not an Oscar-quality actor and his attempts at pulling this off were obviously not the best. While it's not completely impossible that this kid had never had or seen a potato it's awfully hard to imagine as potatoes are one of the cheapest food staples out there and they're used in myriad recipes. I just think that this young man could have tried many other ways to hide his nervousness, that's all. My guess is most of his other choices wouldn't have provoked the father in the way it did. And, as stated elsewhere I completely disagree with the father's response to the young man's attempt at humor.

Requi3m · 1 points · Posted at 18:21:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Whatever you call it it certainly infuriated the father

You call it insecurity

UndeadBBQ · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this guy knows whats up. Listen to the man, OP.

Yamahakid · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank You.

PhalliQueen · -1 points · Posted at 04:49:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You.

Yamahakid · 0 points · Posted at 05:03:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah. Me.

Anthonywd · 1 points · Posted at 07:07:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Confirmed: this is the dad.

karl_remarx · 41 points · Posted at 04:59:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure this is bullshit but it's hilarious bullshit. Well done.

jshepardo · 3 points · Posted at 09:46:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Too many people are treating this as fact. It is awesomely funnier that they think so though.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:18:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a story that I just cannot see some asshole theorizing for internet attention.

This happens to me at work all the time. I try to mediate the awkwardness when someone doesn't catch sarcasm by just walking away from the joke. Some few people push it though.

A young nervous kid would do exactly this when being pushed.

CampbellPlays · 8 points · Posted at 05:54:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You totally baked him...

McCatson · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was probably baked himself.

RobsanX · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now OP will just have to jacket.

JamesFarra · 6 points · Posted at 07:30:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh man, OP can't even count to potato!

Lington · 7 points · Posted at 20:18:13 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are very socially awkward

lolmonger · 17 points · Posted at 06:26:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't care this isn't real, this is the funniest shit.

StandAloneBluBerry · 25 points · Posted at 05:17:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When I was in high school I committed to doing a Mexican accent for a day. The teachers started to get really mad. I told them I couldn't stop because I had been doing it to long and couldn't change my voice to normal. None of the teachers believed me but some of the kids did.

aztec_prime · 3 points · Posted at 08:40:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really wanna know what type of accent it was...

meownila-PI · 16 points · Posted at 09:12:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mexican?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:15:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was a Mexican accent

aztec_prime · 5 points · Posted at 09:20:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes. But like what specifically? Cholo (eyy Holmes, you takin to my hyna esé?) or like Pedro from that movie where he's running for school prez. Or like super stereotypical like the lemon pledge lady. I want specifics.

StandAloneBluBerry · 3 points · Posted at 09:27:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was cholo. I had a Mexican friend who didn't actually have much of an accent but I liked to jokingly do the accent around him.

aztec_prime · 2 points · Posted at 09:36:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank you man haha. I asked cuz my white friends in the service used to do the same shit to me everyday at work. It got bad enough to where I'd start speaking like that everyday and people that I barely knew thought I spoke like that lol

softwaredev · 1 points · Posted at 19:44:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Teacher: "OK guys, today we're going to write an essay about -"

You (interrupting): "An ese? I got friends I call eses but I aint never heard about writing one homes."

carlosp_uk · 18 points · Posted at 10:33:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

That's odd, as almost this exact same thing happened in the UK television series Cuckoo (01:34 in video)

lf27 · 14 points · Posted at 12:20:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's odd, I seem to have seen this comment like 4 more times.

But I don't mind. I'll get around to watching it eventually.

LASER_YOUR_BALLSACK · 7 points · Posted at 12:23:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ugh. I wanted to believe this was real. I truly did.

You just couldn't let us have this one, could you? You and your ... reality.

SEND_ME_BITCOINS_PLS · 2 points · Posted at 22:28:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Could be where OP got the idea from and the reason why he thought it would be funny.

Deggyy · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jacket potato. Hmmm. What is it? A chilly potato on an autumn day?

protestor · 1 points · Posted at 18:10:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Blocked here.

Pick234 · 15 points · Posted at 05:55:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Geeze man, the first step to telling a joke is to be confident.

You panicked, never panic when telling a joke, never panic when meeting parents either. They can smell your fear.

ScroteHair · 2 points · Posted at 08:58:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, as a professional class clown the last thing you should have in your mind is being confident.

Pick234 · 3 points · Posted at 09:34:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you fall, roll.

127crazie · 12 points · Posted at 04:38:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Just remember, Vice President Dan Quayle notoriously flubbed the spelling of potato in front of schoolchildren. You could do worse!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wdqbi66oNuI

Willie_Main · 2 points · Posted at 10:01:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ahhh, vintage cringe.

blatantly0bvious · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck it. I say OP send this video to her and let it figure it's self out.

Amelia303 · 1 points · Posted at 07:25:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If Dan Quayle doesn't know much of these "potatoes" then what hope does the OP or anyone else have??

ErinDidNothingWrong · -1 points · Posted at 11:47:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who?

TheSalingerAngle · 4 points · Posted at 11:07:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You totally could have gotten out of this with some quick thinking.

"Potato... potato... ohhhh, you mean potAHto."

ValhallaStanton · 5 points · Posted at 11:19:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You say tomato, I say tomarto.

You say potato, I say WTF is a potato

CarlAngel-5 · 3 points · Posted at 12:05:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You went full patoto.

agoodtimes · 4 points · Posted at 17:26:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm just amazed that somewhere in your brain you just kept thinking "No, keep going. You're all in. There's no backing out now. When I admit that I actually know what a potato is, it's gonna be FUCKING HILARIOUS!!1!!1221 They will LOVE me for this and we will all LAUGH!" What the actual fuck.

RonPolyp · 3 points · Posted at 19:47:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Trying to decide what accent to read this in.

🎙️ NotKnowPotato · 15 points · Posted at 08:51:57 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mine own.

thrasymachuspp1 · 9 points · Posted at 10:42:13 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, can you please post more stories.

destroyapathy · 5 points · Posted at 04:29:49 on February 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are one dense, socially inept motherfucker.

spambot_3000 · 6 points · Posted at 02:40:38 on January 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

this has to be the stupidest but funniest thing i have ever read

d4nc · 4 points · Posted at 06:36:33 on January 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best TIFU I have ever read, it's just so ridiculous I can't believe you fucking did that OP...

fabul_aint · 4 points · Posted at 16:42:53 on January 31, 2015 · (Permalink)

They weren't angry about your potato ignorance. They thought you were on drugs. Which, to be honest, would be less embarassing than pulling shit like that sober.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 09:40:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. Good luck on life.

ellis0896 · 3 points · Posted at 12:51:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you're still with your girlfriend, keep making meals for her with potatoes saying "I can't believe I've never had these before your parents introduced me to them, they're great!"

thedarksidepenguin · 4 points · Posted at 14:55:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hate when this happens in American movies, when some guy has to pretend something ridiculous in order to get something not really important, and then he sticks with it and has to, I don't know, marry his best friend to pretend he's gay, or kiss his dog, or move to another city etc. I never thought it actually happens in real life.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is exactly how I'm feeling o_O

2ndCupOfPlutoSperm · 5 points · Posted at 06:01:42 on April 13, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://imgur.com/EDQNncm

🎙️ NotKnowPotato · 10 points · Posted at 06:16:26 on April 13, 2015 · (Permalink)

I has enjoyment of the reference!

BestAmuYiEU · 7 points · Posted at 19:26:57 on April 15, 2015 · (Permalink)

DID SHE BREAK UP WITH YOU?

your_mind_aches · 3 points · Posted at 02:40:40 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

UGH OP.

TerminusEst86 · 7 points · Posted at 20:04:08 on May 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

Plz deliver, OP.

CapedCrusader32 · 4 points · Posted at 04:59:52 on May 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP WHAT HAPPENED?

DunDunDunDuuun · 5 points · Posted at 22:56:56 on May 18, 2015 · (Permalink)

WE MUST KNOW OP

TheFucknards · 2 points · Posted at 14:05:20 on July 7, 2015 · (Permalink)

op pls

Chiefimpi · 5 points · Posted at 09:27:25 on July 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is taters, Precious?

JimmyStinkfist · 9 points · Posted at 14:51:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most autistic post I have ever read. This is like a story you only read in green text that opens with >Be me.

[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 10:46:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck these guys, OP, I thought it was fucking hilarious.

linmsimp · 3 points · Posted at 06:47:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But then what do you say when your phone takes shitty pictures?

Sanspareil · 4 points · Posted at 09:42:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you......those parents sound like jackasses. Marry her and have a potato wedding where the bar serves only potato vodka.

baz89 · 6 points · Posted at 11:36:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, every time you say that I want to kill myself!!

PinkEyeIsFromPoop · 3 points · Posted at 13:54:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP there is only one way to salvage this situation and come out alpha as fuck.

Tell your gf (or ex at this point) that you were testing her parents, trying to figure if they are nice people or if you shouldn't bother trying to get them to approve of you. Tell her you just didn't want to waste your time appeasing people that will just blow up with anger by clutching onto what is essentially nothing.

NameTheory · 4 points · Posted at 14:02:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"And that, kids, is how I met your grandparents."

thatfleeddude · 4 points · Posted at 14:03:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you went full retard

eat_your_soup · 6 points · Posted at 15:24:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ask to meet them for dinner again.

When you arrive, pretend you have never met them.

Tell them about your evil twin brother. Stick to your guns.

mp3528 · 5 points · Posted at 15:38:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never change, OP.

meeow_me · 6 points · Posted at 17:15:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Invite them over to dinner to make it up to them.

Serve only potato dishes. French fries, mashed, scalloped, baked. It's the only way.

Karfon · 4 points · Posted at 18:19:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let's see here. There's a formula going on.

Let me tell you

who let me tell you

I should tell you

I'll tell you how

potato

Office Party grade Borat attempt.

rabid_god · 5 points · Posted at 18:43:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them that you were confused because you pronounce it as poe-tah-toe and you have only ever had them mashed. Simple misunderstanding. Or tell them to go fuck themselves. Whichever is easier.

darflol · 4 points · Posted at 19:41:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

On a scale of 1-10 how autistic are you?

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 20:34:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke"

You have some sort of mental issue if telling a bad joke makes you feel that strongly. I would be curious to know if you are slightly intellectually disabled or autistic.

biggiefoxie · 3 points · Posted at 20:40:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm kind of with you. You laugh that one off after about two minutes and be self deprecating if they don't like it.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 00:25:31 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Im completely shocked that you made it two girlfriends with this kind of humor.

BlowJoe17 · 3 points · Posted at 04:48:21 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank god they weren't Irish.

muneutrino · 3 points · Posted at 02:00:23 on March 15, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's girlfriend should not break up with him. Where is she gonna find another guy this unafraid of commitment.

italianstalian726 · 9 points · Posted at 07:28:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you thst you gone done fucked up

Law-dog10 · 10 points · Posted at 08:16:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think the phrase "let me tell you" might be the cause of your lack of girlfriends.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:08:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yup, you did it

navinbane · 64 points · Posted at 06:06:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHAHAHA why make dad pissed you should drop act when he get mad hahaha ok listen there is one way to fix this! Go to the house and shove potato up the dad's ass and scream "IS THIS A POTATO HUH???" now you fix relationship

FalreathJarl · 81 points · Posted at 07:12:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wut.

Nathan_MacKinnon · 45 points · Posted at 08:15:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure his brain is a potato.

The_Lurking_Archer · 5 points · Posted at 10:09:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is kill

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:30:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read his comment with the russian accent of the prostitute in Shameless.

edit : this girl haha https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9CjIuiDDN8

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 10:28:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato

Fizzay · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Apologize for poor english he is potato he ask where you were when you heard potato got bake

He was at home eating gafuglafugga when phone ring

hello

potato is bake

A 'potato', oh interesting. Never heard of a potato, looks pretty good.

ShrimpDimp · 13 points · Posted at 04:21:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You've done fucked up son.

JDNC · 9 points · Posted at 06:48:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Relationship quality: potato.

no_4 · 51 points · Posted at 07:00:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fake. There's no possible way someone who can communicate this effectively via writing, can be that socially retarded.

JoyceCarolOatmeal · 89 points · Posted at 09:00:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm an editor. Well, let me tell you about writers: They're mostly socially inept.

[deleted] · 26 points · Posted at 09:46:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well I should tell you that you should let me tell you.

marakiri · 2 points · Posted at 10:45:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Noooo, no, no, no, no, no, NO NO, my fiend! Let me tell you that you should tell him that he should let you tell him to tell you about whate'er it is that he wanted to be let to tell you.

JamesLiptonIcedTea · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm an reditor. Well, let me tell you about reditors: They're mostly socially inept.

[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 09:13:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well, to be fair... he did say "let me tell you" a few too many times

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:32:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

koryface · 1 points · Posted at 09:51:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think that's the joke.

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 09:50:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you think his writing is good, then let me tell you, you're almost as autistic as the OP.

harryhotdog · 0 points · Posted at 16:10:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No shit, let me tell you. Let me tell you how bad his writing is. It's pretty bad, let me tell you

LateSoEarly · 4 points · Posted at 14:12:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...the writing was abysmal though. Like someone who thinks they're incredibly talented and gifted and throws it unnecessary fluff to make it sound more intelligent.

"I was very aghast, nervous, and bashful to be invited to such a situation."

"become known to them as a person who is amusing."

Honestly this reads like Elliot Rodger's manifesto.

teh_hasay · 2 points · Posted at 11:40:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't think his writing is really that great either honestly. But writing skills are barely, if at all correlated to social competence. I mean, i'm a decent enough writer when I put my mind to it, but put me in a room with someone, and I'm a hopeless communicator.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The writing is pretty retarded as well.

H3xH4x · 2 points · Posted at 10:06:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's pretty standard writing... But I find it pretty amazing how many people actually bought this shit

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:18:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

H3xH4x · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm the kind of person that appreciates the writing of good true stories, instead of bullshit obvious fake ones... And I love star wars

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:00:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP had a idiotic story TIFU is going so far down the tubes. Star wars is amazing.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

introverts, extreme ones.

PM-ME-CLOTHED-BOOBS · 46 points · Posted at 05:31:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hope this is a true story.

First, this is brilliant, and one of the best stories I've heard in a long time.

Second, dump her now and find someone that appreciates your comic genius. Seriously. You have a gift, and you deserve to share your life with someone better than that.

mxzf · 4 points · Posted at 15:06:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Part of comedic genius is knowing your audience. OP clearly didn't.

penis_of_justice · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No he's probably autistic and I wouldn't want to share that with anyone.

shiken · 3 points · Posted at 14:53:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I keep coming back to this TIFU and I still laugh every time.

I want this entire post to be made into a short film. Complete with the inner monologue of OP. Someone please make this happen.

Medical-Informatics · 3 points · Posted at 16:41:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are not qualified to date. Don't procreate either.

Exoooo · 3 points · Posted at 17:38:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're retarded.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 05:02:43 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

You fucking potato head.

Dorkules · 3 points · Posted at 14:34:10 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

There is a reason why trolls live under a bridge all by themselves.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 16:24:06 on May 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tryna figure out how pretending not to know what a potato is could be funny

NonSpinning · 3 points · Posted at 02:02:22 on May 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

Excuse me for trying to give advice to you, but:

"If you find yourself in a hole... Stop digging" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_holes

ItsPizzazz · 3 points · Posted at 17:37:22 on June 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

4 months later and I'm still laughing. How did this one play out?

baltimorebodies · 3 points · Posted at 03:19:38 on June 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

You'd rather be that weird guy that lied about a potato bc he was nervous instead of immediately owning it as a terrible joke getting a mild chuckle and moving on to complimenting the parents' on that bottle of '08 Pahlmeyer they opened up for the special occasion? Interesting choice.

FunPunishment · 3 points · Posted at 16:51:14 on July 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

Literally the best thread of this sub ever. A potato?! Brilliant!!! Lmfao I can barely stand it.

lovelytrout · 3 points · Posted at 22:54:03 on July 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man, you're probably better off without her, her parents, and the potato.

Wow. I didn't realize how old this post was! I'll have to search for an update

debitcreddit · 3 points · Posted at 09:09:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like a Seinfeld episode

SparklingLimeade · 3 points · Posted at 09:18:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do it. Keep it up. Date her for years without letting slip your general knowledge of potatoes. Marry her and raise a family. Tell her that you were raised without ever learning of potatoes so your children won't either. Inconvenience everyone around you with your evasive potato antics while pretending this is normal. Become the crazy old dude who never really "got" potatoes. All of this will build up to the final line of your will. "PS: Of course I know what potatoes are, you idiots."

Commit to the bit.

xyakks · 3 points · Posted at 10:50:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The only thing that would have made this better is if you lived in Ireland!

strawzy · 3 points · Posted at 11:21:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck me you might not know what a potato is but you sure as hell know what spaghetti is.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 11:32:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP is the Tater-Hater Masturbator now. Sucks when you try your hand at a joke, but the joke ends up being yourself, and at the end of it all you're just trying your hand at yourself.

themagictacov8 · 3 points · Posted at 11:40:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The family has no sense of humour. I've just laughed my arse off.

shloppypop · 3 points · Posted at 12:30:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

dad was Latvian.

07912P · 3 points · Posted at 12:31:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hope your girlfriend will "let you tell her" that you don't know what a potato is

BillNyeStillHigh · 3 points · Posted at 12:37:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can someone please record themselves narrating this?

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:39:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was really holding out until the end that /u/The_Latvian_Version had returned from the gulag.

nzieser27 · 3 points · Posted at 12:39:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't give a shit if this is fake or not, it is fucking hilarious

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:40:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them what happened, they will understand.

TheCowfishy · 3 points · Posted at 12:43:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Girlfriend is actually gulag. Potato was cruel dream

Hegarz · 3 points · Posted at 13:15:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, that was a good TIFU

touchmystuffIkillyou · 3 points · Posted at 13:24:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just proves the adage: Fucking idiots may get girlfriends, but they can't keep them.

TheBestNarcissist · 3 points · Posted at 14:03:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most autistic thing I've ever heard.

XLBananaHamock · 3 points · Posted at 14:04:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'VE GOT THE SOLUTION! Invite them out to eat and order something with fries, when they look at you quite ludicrously be surprised that fries are made of potatoes!

TheEvilMrFry · 3 points · Posted at 14:16:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are her family Irish? Literally the only explanation I can come up with for anyone taking mortal offence at not knowing...

SEND_ME_BITCOINS_PLS · 1 points · Posted at 22:35:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's more about figuring out out that OP w lying to them and being a smart-ass

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 14:43:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

conspiracyeinstein · 3 points · Posted at 14:46:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You need to invite them to your house and serve a weird dish then get offended when they've never heard of it.

OliviaMoney · 3 points · Posted at 15:11:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's an aspergers?

gocougs11 · 3 points · Posted at 15:13:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jesus. For those that don't know: Your role when meeting the gf's parents for the first time is to sit down and shut up. Respond politely when spoken to, let them drive the conversation, and for the love of fucking god, don't try to make any jokes.

If you leave, and they say "well he didn't say much, but seemed nice enough", you did your job well. They don't have to absolutely love you right away.

schneimd · 3 points · Posted at 15:17:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If this story is real, it's easy to see why this is only OP's second girlfriend of all time.

molly_dog · 3 points · Posted at 15:38:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Send her parents a Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:42:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

but what is it ? this potato thing. How does it taste, is it good ?

ftt128 · 3 points · Posted at 15:43:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you are Irish, just say you spoke to your family about what happened; the Potato Famine took a serious toll on their family and in honor of that, Potatoes have been off-the-table as a topic that can be discussed.

Synicalol · 3 points · Posted at 15:45:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This kid's IQ is Potato

binarystarship · 3 points · Posted at 15:49:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This guy can't even count to potato apparently.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:52:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should apologize by sending them a baked potato in the mail.

angela430 · 3 points · Posted at 15:53:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Commitment. BE the potato.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:53:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, you should have said you only called them Pot(AH)tos instead of Pot(AY)tos. And have you're confusion stem from that!

Altoids79765 · 3 points · Posted at 16:43:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bro that's fucking cringe. What made you think this was smart? Take a test for autism

gm4 · 3 points · Posted at 16:56:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are fucking retarded.

The_Alex_ · 3 points · Posted at 17:07:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Good rule of thumb: Jokes where you play the fool/act stupid are never really any good and are only funny to children and teenagers, especially if it's dealing with ignorance.

This picture comes to mind : http://imgur.com/6rloCHr

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:09:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, today you fucked up by constantly saying shit like 'let me tell you' in this post. Fuck that. I quit reading it. That's the shittiest writing style I've ever seen. Grow out of that fast.

Iamurcouch · 3 points · Posted at 17:14:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is her father Irish?

firestepper · 3 points · Posted at 17:14:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude just man up and be like "look, I'm an idiot. I was trying to make a joke and thought it would be funny and was too embarrassed to admit it." and apologize. If you have any chance of saving a shred of respect from them that would be it I think.

wakeforest22890 · 3 points · Posted at 17:23:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

In all seriousness, what is wrong with you?

flashrecalll · 3 points · Posted at 17:23:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this was so painful to read

King-Khan · 3 points · Posted at 17:29:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At least she knows you're not afraid of commitment

beefstick86 · 3 points · Posted at 17:29:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have said, hmm... This tastes like French fries.

GlobalWarmer12 · 3 points · Posted at 17:31:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You say potato, and I say I don't know what the hell that is let's call the whole thing off!

chrisisisms · 3 points · Posted at 17:39:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell your girlfriend I know what potatos are.

GreasyLake87 · 3 points · Posted at 17:40:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I LOVE that this is the joke you came up with to try to come off as funny. Possibly the least funny thing I've ever heard, yet the funniest story I have ever read. God bless you.

jbreiner29 · 3 points · Posted at 17:46:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you

recoverybelow · 3 points · Posted at 18:19:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What.the.fuck.

tr3v1n · 3 points · Posted at 18:27:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should invite them out for breakfast as a way of saying sorry. Then proceed to talk about your love of hash browns.

EllaRunciter · 3 points · Posted at 18:53:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is basically a Whitest Kids U Know sketch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM4fu_lPUq0

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 18:57:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So...much...autism

ThisIsSovereign · 3 points · Posted at 19:11:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tough crowd, damn.

ImDirtyDan_ · 3 points · Posted at 19:25:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is what TIFU needs more of instead of edgy sex posts, holy shit. I can't stop laughing.

dinophobia · 3 points · Posted at 19:26:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm confused as to why they got so absolutely pissed at you.

Very important question, are they from Latvia?

heyzues68 · 3 points · Posted at 19:31:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some George Costanza shit

spanky1337 · 3 points · Posted at 21:45:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This blows my mind. I mean, I could see it being annoying, but yelling "Get the fuck out of my house." and then getting even more pissed is just ridiculous.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 22:22:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Each time you meet you should forget a new vegetable, and then move on to fruits. Gradually overtime all the food groups will seem foreign to you and you approach each food item as you did with the potato. Once you've forgotten all foods, begin to forget inanimate objects. "Turn the lamp on?" "What's a lamp?" You have started this OP, now you must finish it or die for the cause.

BoyNamedSquid · 3 points · Posted at 23:59:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You say "potato," I say "what's a 'potato'?"

OperatingOnScientist · 3 points · Posted at 00:57:57 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck, OP. I was going to make some smart ass comment or a potato pun, but I'm lost for words.

What the ever loving fuck did I just read.

bigfun77 · 3 points · Posted at 02:35:15 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op sounds like the definition of socially retarded

inEmerald · 3 points · Posted at 17:53:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

So one time I pissed off my ex girlfriends step dad by pretending to not know how to use a dishwasher. I always hated him and so did she so one evening after dinner he had got drunk and was just being a loud mouth douche bag as usual. She did the dishes for all of us without being asked and instead of saying thanks, he started bitching about what a shitty job she did. "What are you stupid? Kids these days, blah blah blah" And he turns to me, as if looking for some kind of reaffirmation from me that his step daughter really was an idiot, and asked if I knew how. And I very dryly said " No. I have no idea. I've never had to do dishes in my entire life." You know, just to poke at the whole kids these days rant. And he went off. And he only got more pissed later when he found out I was totes trollin.

He's always hated me since that moment. But that's ok because my girlfriend hated him too so it worked in my favor.

BearInTheCorner · 3 points · Posted at 00:22:22 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/8t7zCai.jpg

lecollectionneur · 3 points · Posted at 22:54:48 on January 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

Duuuuude you need to keep us updated. You can't just fade after telling us the whole thing.

So, how did the potatoes taste ?

feelmywrathhumans · 3 points · Posted at 22:02:58 on February 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

This reminds me so much of an episode of Seinfeld.

Ronbonbeno · 3 points · Posted at 21:40:04 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is it related to the tomato?

OxfordWhiteS197 · 3 points · Posted at 16:37:06 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

Autism is so funny!

GrubbyGameNews · 3 points · Posted at 22:38:10 on April 9, 2015 · (Permalink)

What a story, Tommy Wiseau!

ReptilianTuring · 3 points · Posted at 00:13:14 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I see no holes in his story, actually. I'd say with 99% certainty this guy is legit.

fluffyxsama · 3 points · Posted at 13:21:43 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never try to be funny again.

cbjfan51 · 3 points · Posted at 15:02:12 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hopefully your girlfriend dumped you. What a stupid joke.

treejesus · 7 points · Posted at 10:01:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is this you?

Mochafrap512 · 6 points · Posted at 10:06:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Being an adult means owning up to your mistakes. Everyone is human and everyone gets nervous, especially around parents.

Tell your girlfriend that you were nervous, and thought that joke would help ease the tension. When it didn't work, you weren't sure how to proceed, so you figured you'd keep playing with the not knowing what a potato is. You realize now, you should have just been upfront. Apologize again.

Then go personally speak with her parents (do this even if you two still break up, trust me). Tell them what you told her and apologize for being rude and ask for a fresh start, clean the slate.

If she didn't breakup with you, she will find this quality to admit your mistakes attractive. If she did breakup with you, she may rethink your maturity and ask you to get back together. Either way, you may have to do business with them in the future, see them, or whatever and want to clear your reputation with them.

Nigelwethers · -2 points · Posted at 14:42:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Listen to this gus just bursting with 'advice' on a funny thread. I don't even know how to point out you've obviously missed the social cues...

Mochafrap512 · 1 points · Posted at 21:27:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why are people so mean on here? The tone gets lost in writing because you can't see their face and hear their time. 92% to 95% of communication is nonverbal.

Now, some other people on here gave real advice, too. Before you go picking on people, try to think of WHY they do what they do. You don't know them or what they've been through. They may have a disorder, like autism or aspbergers that prevents them from seeing social cues. They may be a serious person. They may have just had a horrible day. Or maybe they've been so nervous that they've done something like this.

And I'm a woman, by the way. A sympathetic woman.

echowat · 1 points · Posted at 05:38:57 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh god, just stop while you're ahead.

scenely · 4 points · Posted at 11:13:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bro. You just went full retard. You never go full retard.

ProfoundNinja · 3 points · Posted at 08:29:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Today I fucked up, continued to fuck up, and still am fucking up.

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 11:18:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Based on your writing style alone I actually believe this story. You seem like the sort of insufferable moron who would pull something so dumb and find it funny...

_your_face · 3 points · Posted at 08:37:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahahah you're an idiot, funny, but an idiot. Enjoy being single again!

mattsk8n · 6 points · Posted at 09:40:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you some sort of moron?

ChristopheWaltz · 4 points · Posted at 09:51:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you a fucking robot?

lf27 · 2 points · Posted at 12:47:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...

Donkeyjump · 6 points · Posted at 22:54:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This story made 11 people commit suicide, good job, your stories suck.

I have read it 3 times now, this story is so fucking retarded even retarded people were like "fuck the OP that shit was stupid"

danishpete · 5 points · Posted at 16:26:01 on July 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe we're the ones that are being lied to about the potato. It seems strange that someone would be angry about someone not knowing what a potato is. But maybe that is because I am from laid back denmark where we are all relaxed and ok about most stuff. Espcially potatoes that kan be served with garlic butter and bread and some nice steak... I think I am hungry...

Buffalo__Buffalo · 6 points · Posted at 08:13:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP - there's one way to save this. You need to be able to commit 100% like last time or it won't work though.

You need to tell your girlfriend's family that you had a minor stroke which is what caused this whole incident.

benishen · 2 points · Posted at 11:12:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Well let me tell you,"

dwarvenchaos · 2 points · Posted at 13:27:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Let me tell you." "And let me tell you." "And let me tell you."

this characteristic of your post informs me that it wasn't the joke itself, but your obnoxious delivery. Jesus Christ, man.

Depilate · 2 points · Posted at 14:43:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why am I reading this in a Punjabi accent?

russmbiz · 2 points · Posted at 15:19:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you fucking with us? Who the hell knows what a "potato" is anyway? Were her parents from another country or something?

danr995 · 2 points · Posted at 12:35:01 on February 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

Haha this is hilarious! I can see your logic here and I can imagine how this quickly became out of hand. Nice story spud.

Count_Zrow · 2 points · Posted at 11:37:17 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Father has no sense of humor. Sorry but at least you don't have to be the stepson of a humorless fuck.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:11:42 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

A potato is LeBron James.

crimsonchin45 · 2 points · Posted at 19:36:02 on April 19, 2015 · (Permalink)

UPDAAAAAAAAAATE

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:18:12 on April 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

I came back to reread this and now I have a new favorite sentence.

I showed an expression on my face so as to seem that I was confused, astounded but in a restrained way, curious, and interested.

Maggiel0u13 · 2 points · Posted at 06:24:15 on May 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the absolute best tifu I have ever read I am crying from lighter!! A+

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:33:27 on May 14, 2015 · (Permalink)

I honestly need to see an update about this!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 03:38:11 on June 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dad sounds like a dick.

hihzz3 · 2 points · Posted at 02:30:16 on June 17, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:28:10 on July 1, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters, precious?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:56:04 on July 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't stop reading this. It was posted like months ago and I can't stop. I read it every day.

Saltbearer · 2 points · Posted at 09:23:48 on July 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

Before this is archived, I have to make sure I've said that I idolize this bud over this "befuddled by spuds" dud.

arcainic · 2 points · Posted at 07:11:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/jokes this sub is not.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:50:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil'em mash'em stick'em in a stew.

junoguten · 2 points · Posted at 08:24:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shoulda made up some dialect shit. Example: archaic english, all fruits just used to be referred to as apple. No idea if it's true, but if you google it, it looks like it might be.

greenbrd · 2 points · Posted at 08:54:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was hoping the ending would reveal that the dad was in on the joke.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:30:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

who was cake...and what is potato?

trollocity · 2 points · Posted at 09:39:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I swear to god I read this on /b/ a year ago

TSLW · 2 points · Posted at 10:08:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Poe? Tay? Toe?

bsavery · 2 points · Posted at 10:31:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

MRW reading the tagline: http://i.imgur.com/OJjbiY6.gif

Seriously though. I applaud your commitment sir.

gfy_bot · 1 points · Posted at 12:24:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

GFY link: gfycat.com/EarlyKlutzyAmericancrocodile

^{GIF size: 6.34 MiB} ^| ^{GFY size:332.12 kiB} ^| ^{~ About}

EnterTheTragedy · 2 points · Posted at 10:50:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have... a weird sense of humor.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:18:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Some would say he has none at all. But the story did make me laugh, ironically.

motomartin · 2 points · Posted at 10:50:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

cock gets what cock is.....

Ikestar · 2 points · Posted at 10:50:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Okay I'm gonna be needing live updates, names of all the people involved, some indication of dick size for both op and the gf's dad, a pi stakeout on gf's house and if at all possible some partial involvement of a sibling.

op, I'm counting on you!

DavidDann437 · 2 points · Posted at 10:51:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LPT It's OK to say "hey I'm just joking" but don't leave it too long.

Supernal69 · 2 points · Posted at 10:51:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Smooth, Costanza. Real smooth.

shiken · 2 points · Posted at 10:58:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

As if the title of this post didn't already have me weak, this absolutely killed me.

Tidder94 · 2 points · Posted at 11:05:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is like a whole new level of TIFU. OP I am impressed

mrRwild · 2 points · Posted at 11:07:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them that your of IRISH ancestry...You've recently found out that your parents had hidden the very concept of root vegetables from you as it stirs up memories of famine and tragedy from your families past.

Hinderwood · 2 points · Posted at 11:11:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

'What's taters?'

'Po-tat-oes!. Boil 'em mash 'em , stick 'em in a stew!'

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:14:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You powered through that lie like George Costanza!

e-s-o-t-e-r-i-k-o-s · 2 points · Posted at 11:16:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Should've misspelled potato in your texts. "Patetoe"

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:18:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I expected for her to have a down-syndrome sibling and you had offended them

Now I just know you are the potato

Mere_Anarchy · 2 points · Posted at 11:25:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Get your girlfriend to show her dad this thread. He's a man - he knows what it's like to meet a girlfriend's parents for the first time. You meant no harm, you were just nervous and you panicked. If, after reading it, he doesn't see the funny side, he's an uptight, humourless asshole.

Shadesofnero1 · 2 points · Posted at 11:26:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All the muscles on my body started cringing as I read this story

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:26:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Taste's very strange!"

10/10, like a Monty python skit.

Bjorkesrad · 2 points · Posted at 11:27:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes and broken English? You must be Latvian.

mechahorse · 2 points · Posted at 11:29:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you OP, that was one hell of a story, I'll tell you that!

creepdog · 2 points · Posted at 11:30:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. Your brain is faulty

Ultimus-King · 2 points · Posted at 11:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a fucking idiot OP but it made me laugh so good job!

d_le · 2 points · Posted at 11:34:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A similar story happen a couple of years ago after I watched the movie Borat, I was shopping with a friend and this store employee asked if I need any help. Some the same dumb reason I decide to act like I didn't understand what she was saying. She gave me a puzzled look which led me to continue my charades till I was getting the ticking emotion I was looking for. After a few fail at the "borat" impersonation "what iz tis" "that is?" she just walked away leaving me to turn to my friend and him just staring at me like I was child.

Angrysausagedog · 2 points · Posted at 11:35:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dump her before she dumps you, then you win.

Then make her feel bad for making fun of you..

Norm984 · 2 points · Posted at 11:41:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, your future is looking pretty single right about now.

beammeupwelshy · 2 points · Posted at 11:44:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full retard.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:44:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and

dodged a bullet there buddy. your potato method saved you months of dating and spendings

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:58:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll take "the strangest way to get dumped" for 400 dollars.

MrLegilimens · 2 points · Posted at 11:59:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should read how to win friends and influence people. I'm sure there's a chapter saying "Don't pretend like you don't know what the fuck a baked potato is."

neo5432 · 2 points · Posted at 12:02:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How about...

Go and visit her parents, apologise for the joke and tell them why you did it? Maybe her dad will see the funny side?

lol you're fucked

Brocccooli · 2 points · Posted at 12:04:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was painful to read.

Work on those social skills man......

MeltMyCheeseKThxBai · 2 points · Posted at 12:05:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They must have misunderstood; you are Latvian and have obviously never beheld the wonder of a potato of your very own.

Gigacat3 · 2 points · Posted at 12:06:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am dissapoint

1989viJJJi · 2 points · Posted at 12:07:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A potato is an uncircumcised French Fry

Smallfatstrong · 2 points · Posted at 12:08:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some advanced stupid...

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:09:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Say "Let me tell you" again...

RajaKS · 2 points · Posted at 12:14:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was waiting for Latvian punchline

jjraymonds · 2 points · Posted at 12:17:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Out of all of the stupid TIFU I have read in the past year I think yours is the worst. How could you possibly ever think that was a good idea? I'm not trying to be mean but it's not like this was an honest mistake or anything... It was just dumb.

xeroes7 · 2 points · Posted at 12:19:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i would personally show this thread to your gf. It shows how hard you were trying to make a good impression and she may even show her parents. If they dont accept it, be happy as it would be better not having in laws that cant take a joke. On the otherhand if they are cool parents, they would invite you back and all have a laugh about it. +1 to your commitment buddy

Bamfosaurus · 2 points · Posted at 12:21:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can completely understand their anger. You were LYING to their faces. A cardinal sin. Doesn't sound like a good lie either. Also you would be dumb as a sack of potatoes to seriously....

I THINK this is a troll but am NOT SURE due to the stupidity of many people, however I AM chuckling slightly so good troll if it is (which I HOPE it is.).

SirGeisseIV · 2 points · Posted at 12:22:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP must be Latvian

rilsaur · 2 points · Posted at 12:25:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Rule #1 of comedy op, know your audience

MrGoxTheRox · 2 points · Posted at 12:25:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well if this is true you probably have bigger problems than just the girlfriend. Like Ace Ventura would say: you are a loooser

Praydaythemice · 2 points · Posted at 12:26:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

fuck dude the dad was pissed because he was 99.99% sure you were fucking with him and no one likes being patronized least of all a guy you just met. i would come clean as how long can you seriously keep up this joke of not knowing what a potato is.

dragonslayer0069 · 2 points · Posted at 12:28:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters precious!?

Ronniethunderpeen · 2 points · Posted at 12:29:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking bizarre.

espoirtoujours · 2 points · Posted at 12:31:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wish you would tell a bit more about how the potato became on your plate.

Cilvia_Demo · 2 points · Posted at 12:33:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP in all seriousness you should have fessed up a long time ago. At least to your girlfriend. You're probably fucked but you have to come clean. "I'm sorry. I was nervous to meet your parents let me tell you, and I wanted to lighten the mood. Things were to be reaching a point of no return and I was embarrassed. I was beginning to feel that you would be thinking less of me so I panicked. This joke backfired on my face. I am hoping you will forgiving me."

missinguser · 2 points · Posted at 12:35:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What if in 2016: the line 'never go full potato' appears in a Quentin Tarantino film

Full meta at that point

crabsnz · 2 points · Posted at 12:36:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Better to just get a new gf

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:38:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No more comedy acts.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:39:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are an idiot.

superchet · 2 points · Posted at 12:39:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Only your second girlfriend? Might be another decade before you get another.

Un1verse7 · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

These TIFU posts are way too fucking autistic for me, done with this sub-reddit.

Just_Breathing · 2 points · Posted at 12:40:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They did react irrationally. Why would they get so mad? I thought it was hilarious.

8sweettooth8 · 2 points · Posted at 12:42:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This could be a Seinfeld episode.

Ceiteach · 2 points · Posted at 12:42:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your only option is to invite her to dinner with your parents and rope them in. Have your parents make some kind of potato dessert and serve it to her.

Singlecoiled · 2 points · Posted at 12:42:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so hilarious to me because I could orally imagine myself doing something like this when I'm nervous, maybe not to this scale though

Codyxwx · 2 points · Posted at 12:48:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why didn't your girlfriend tell something like "he's fucking with you guys" as soon as the awkwardness started?

leidr · 2 points · Posted at 12:49:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am not even slightly surprised that this is your second girlfriend ever.

rhapsodyforever · 2 points · Posted at 12:50:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If someone from /r9k/ would ever get a girlfriend, this is what I imagine would happened.

JWsWrestlingMem · 2 points · Posted at 12:59:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If only Jenny's soon-to-be-ex had played the potato card, those kids would be happy today.

tzippy84 · 2 points · Posted at 13:04:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How old are you?

arctic9-5 · 2 points · Posted at 13:05:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.

If they ever come round to your or your parent's house, lead them into the garden and pretend that after eating the baked potato you found out that you can grow your own.

Print out some information on growing potatoes, this should do fine, and hand it to her father, suggesting he should try growing them too. Thank him and his wife for introducing you to this "magical food".

Obviously serve up "your" potatoes as the meal - every possible type of potato.

This is the only way. Let us know how you get on.

ENTomolorgi · 2 points · Posted at 13:06:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The neck beard is strong in this ones writing style

RassimoFlom · 2 points · Posted at 13:07:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is pure bollocks, but funny bollocks.

newMachinist · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

that happened

searingsky · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

>being this autistic

angryunikitty · 2 points · Posted at 13:08:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have just told them you call them POtahtos. "Let's call the whole thing off!"

HunterRotten · 2 points · Posted at 13:12:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ded.

thedeejus · 2 points · Posted at 13:13:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ha! This is easily among the top ten potato-ignorance related posts I've read on reddit this month!

Conservativeoxen · 2 points · Posted at 13:13:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Completely fabricated , but funny nonetheless

soooWhat · 2 points · Posted at 13:14:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you. 1234567

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:15:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

the comments in this thread are almost as good as the post.

people getting legit angry and taking both sides and arguing intensely about fucking potatoes

8/8

jamesmcdash · 2 points · Posted at 13:17:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

This is a story line from a British sitcom, dude ends up running a baked potato van... Edit: Cuckoo, check it out, first couple of episodes were good.

New_Y0rker · 2 points · Posted at 13:17:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest thing I've ever read.

gwarster · 2 points · Posted at 13:18:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you have some kind of autism?

theorymeltfool · 2 points · Posted at 13:19:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy shit this autism is higher than 4chan

IsayPoirot · 2 points · Posted at 13:22:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have said that you are a Latvian, I am for telling at you.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:26:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato Mode: Enabled.

Definitely break up with her and never go back there. What a bunch of idiots. Nice people would be shocked to meet someone who did not know what a potato is, if they are dumb, or would be laughing at your schtick the entire time.

Either way, good people to be around don't yell at you to get out of the house because you lie about not knowing what a potato is to entertain yourself and others.

sudsaroo · 2 points · Posted at 13:28:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How the fuck could you possibly think it was going to be funny? Unless this whole story is made up and you think the story is a funny joke. In that case, you're still wrong.

ChariBari · 2 points · Posted at 13:29:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How old are you?

BwilliamE · 2 points · Posted at 13:37:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, that has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Philyeagles710 · 2 points · Posted at 13:39:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This would do great on /r/cringe. Not knowing what a potato is? That's hilarious.

ochogiltrow · 2 points · Posted at 13:39:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think you are a fucking idiot.

Fake

bitches_be_crazy86 · 2 points · Posted at 13:40:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

uhmm but what is a potato?

RAZERblast · 2 points · Posted at 13:40:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why would it be funny to not know what a potato is?

ScroogeMcDuckII · 2 points · Posted at 13:41:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you're gonna be that boyfriend they tell stories about, congrats!

BigMisterJ · 2 points · Posted at 13:43:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You deserved it you idiot. What made you think pretending you didn't know what a potato was is funny.

Mulletron5000 · 2 points · Posted at 13:46:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am a little disappointed. I read the entire story and not once did you explain what a "potato" is.

Cunninglatin · 2 points · Posted at 13:50:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's some hardcore aspergers you're rocking there OP.

timewaitsforsome · 2 points · Posted at 13:52:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you can milk anything with nipples

paul521 · 2 points · Posted at 14:01:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, just fucking wow. You my friend have become the king of all fucking morons. Congratulations.

s3rious_simon · 2 points · Posted at 14:01:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

are you Latvian, OP ?

not_funnyname · 2 points · Posted at 14:04:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I lost it at "So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting"

Waffle_Monkey_Tacos · 2 points · Posted at 14:06:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up! A real live autist, doing what he does best!

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was almost too awkward to finish reading.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:09:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, you deserve it. Pretending to not know what a potato is?

Where the fuck did you take your comedy lessons?

Carlos Mencia?

The worst fucking thing ive ever read.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:10:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Get rid of this girl. If her father reacted this way about a fucking baked potato, how will he react when something serious happens? You weren't drunk, you didn't beat his daughter, you didn't insult his wife. This idiot sounds like a real douchebag of the 1st order. You know the type who is king of his castle because he is the joker outside of it. Deep six this girl and move on.

Fftlacop · 2 points · Posted at 14:10:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The autism is strong with this one

i2fat · 2 points · Posted at 14:11:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go FULL retard.

beingboring · 2 points · Posted at 14:12:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The first law of holes - when you find yourself in one, stop digging (and get out).

goatsWithSnapchat · 2 points · Posted at 14:14:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i fucking love the internet

BEazyy · 2 points · Posted at 14:26:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who the fuck gets angry/agitated by someone not knowing what a potato is. Your girlfriend and her family are insane. Am I the only who sees this?

Romasterer · 2 points · Posted at 14:28:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

God damn, I did something like this just several degrees less spergy by telling my girlfriend I had been admitted to Harvard.

When my girlfriend and I first started dating sophomore year of college she pulled a two week long or so practical joke that she had been the prom queen at her high school, I thought I was super cool dating the prom queen from a major high school I'm the area and told several of my friends before realizing she was just messing with me because I told her I hadn't even attended prom my senior year.

Cue four years later and she is going on a trip to Boston with one of her old college roommates. I decide to get her back for the prom queen joke by saying something to the effect of "Oh nice! I almost went there but decided it was too expensive and too far from home." She acts super impressed and asks me several questions about it and truth be told I forgot about the whole thing until Thanksgiving at her house that year. So I am making small talk with her grandparents when my girlfriends mom walks up behind me, puts her hand on my shoulder and says "did you know that Romasterer was admitted to Harvard?"

Fuck.

Decide, just as OP had, to stick to the joke. Relatives get WAY more impressed than I had anticipated.

Now I have both sets of grandparents asking me questions about high school, what was the application process like, how much was tuition etc. So I'm starting to sweat answering all these questions, finally her uncle pipes in with "that's very impressive, I went to Brown myself, what did you make on your SAT?"

Well fuck, I go to school in the Midwest, I got a scholarship for my ACT score so I had never even taken the SAT much less know what a good score is, so I lie again, saying that I only listed my ACT score. Uncles eyes narrow, "I don't think that's right, all ivy schools required the SAT when I went." At this point all eyes were on me and I had two choices, admit I was lying to get back at my girlfriend for a joke she pulled 4 years ago and look like an idiot or piss off some random uncle and retain my new-found status as the genius boyfriend.

So I just looked him dead in the eyes, shrugged, and said loudly "huh, they must have been so impressed with the rest of my application that it wasn't a problem, anyone want a beer?"

teamshred · 2 points · Posted at 14:30:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

~~do you even paragraph bro?~~

thanks for the edit now I can read it.

Romasterer · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I always forget how to do it on my phone, fack.

teamshred · 3 points · Posted at 14:34:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

jesus... you typed all of that on a phone?

Romasterer · 2 points · Posted at 14:36:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I stay really committed to not leaving my bed for as long as I can... haha

spudman238 · 2 points · Posted at 14:37:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The correct response by the father would be that of ol' Samwise...

http://youtu.be/COkrsPzEmrI

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:40:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato quality joke

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:41:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you
I'll tell you
Let me tell you
I'll tell you

This is the most strangely worded post I've ever read

GlowWormy · 2 points · Posted at 14:42:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best potential break up story I have ever read

TSAforlife · 2 points · Posted at 14:49:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are an imbecile, have an upvote!

DubiousNerd · 2 points · Posted at 14:51:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TL;DR Tried to Troll IRL. Realized that tifu.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:56:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who actually believes anyone could be as socially retarded as OP.

/r/tifu? More like /r/trickgullibleidiotsintogivingmegold

dawkholiday · 2 points · Posted at 14:59:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is Andy Kaufman level dedication right here folks

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:00:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew

RealGBK · 2 points · Posted at 15:02:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This totally sounds like something I would do. Which is probably why I'm failing to understand their anger. Whether you were fucking with them or serious, isn't their reaction over the top? It's not like you were banging their daughter at the table.

jobblow · 2 points · Posted at 15:03:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you're retarded. You had many chances to turn the joke around but you continued with the tension.

FoxyFoxMulder · 2 points · Posted at 15:03:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them that you confronted your parents about this mythical "potato" after you were barred from your girlfriend's home. Your parents gaped at each other aghast before telling you that your ancestors suffered through the Potato Famine in Ireland and the memory has left a traumatic imprint on your lineage. This was their intention for leaving you in the dark about potatoes.

Beeffab · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Here's an unfortunate reality that I could not accept in my twenties (being young and idealistic), but I fully embrace now: When you marry someone, you marry their entire family. You may love someone, and they might be the best person in the world, but if their family is unbearable you will suffer for the rest of your life. When you're young and naive you might think it's like a Disney movie and you can just love someone so hard that those things don't matter, but after twenty years of someone else's family flying into a rage at irrational things you won't think that any more.

tl;dr: It's probably better to get out now IMHO.

AlexatRF21 · 1 points · Posted at 15:13:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Some good sage advice right here. If her parents can't take a joke, fuck 'em.

I admire OP's commitment.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:06:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know, PO-TA-TO? Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!?

RomeClone31 · 2 points · Posted at 15:10:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking hilarious

mosesthelawgiver · 2 points · Posted at 15:11:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would have played along and told him that he would need to injest it via his arsehole and offer to help.

chekhovs_gunn · 2 points · Posted at 15:11:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Really, nobody has given this basic advice. Sit down with the parents explaining you were nervous, meant it as a joke at first and then just kind of spiraled out of control. It's your only hope.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:11:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You don't want to be part of that family...

saloabad · 2 points · Posted at 15:13:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am in awe as to how this got to the first page and it got three golds already...reddit it's a strange place or my sense of humor it's to simple....

sahuxley · 2 points · Posted at 15:13:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think you might have actually had a good joke going until

"Taste's very strange!" That is when the father started yelling at me

You decided that instead of admitting to a bad joke, you would insult the mother's cooking.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:15:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes? Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.

Rook88 · 2 points · Posted at 15:15:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, well let me tell you, well, let me tell you let me tell you.

nickc98 · 2 points · Posted at 15:21:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

JUST FUCKING TELL ME

itsmyst · 2 points · Posted at 15:15:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Imagine if her parents brought up french fries and chips? "So you mean to tell me you've never questioned what french fries or chips are made from? Get the fuck out of my house."

dannyr_wwe · 2 points · Posted at 15:18:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What kind of dickhole dad gets pissed at somebody for not knowing something? Typical American pride.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:02:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If real, Cause he knew the twerp was fucking with him. No Bueno when he also knows he's gonna actually fuck his daughter. The little dude doesn't get to fuck both of them.

dannyr_wwe · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love a good bit. I'm with Penn Gillette's rule where as long as the "mark" is having the best time, it's cool. In this case, the mark was just an asshole who wouldn't give it a chance to resolve peacefully.

DAS_POSTMASTER · 2 points · Posted at 15:20:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you...x8

HypeNyg · 2 points · Posted at 15:20:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Commiting 100% is what fucked you over. Admit to making bad jokes, then at least her parents will know you won't be able to get any other girls to sleep with you so cheating isn't an option.

You were playing them and they knew the whole time. You made it seem like you thought they were stupid

deehayzee · 2 points · Posted at 15:22:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't stop laughing about just how stupid this is-- it actually made me laugh out loud. I don't have kids, but I feel like if I were her dad, I would have found you weird, but I wouldn't been dropping f bombs and kick you out.

oh-deer-lord · 2 points · Posted at 15:24:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You guys actually think this happened?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:59:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah, but you know, cool story bro.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:24:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

To be honest, it does make you seem like an asshole lol... bad timing.

lesbiancocksucker · 2 points · Posted at 15:24:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm gonna go ahead and diagnose you with autism

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:58:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This had me bust out laughing, startling my dog so he jerked wildly, jumped up and just stared at me like WTF man! Ha!

navyjosh · 2 points · Posted at 15:25:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's Taters?

tbay-jake · 2 points · Posted at 15:26:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mr. NotKnowPotato , what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

modawarrior · 2 points · Posted at 15:26:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is amazing! I found it hilarious. To be honest if the father told me to 'get the fuck out' I'd probably laugh.

Deggyy · 2 points · Posted at 15:32:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was in another thread and I had the urge to say "what is pasta? Hmm, never heard of it before, sounds interesting". Why, op, why? You know I'm never going to be able to eat at someone's house again without thinking about doing this.

Regel_1999 · 2 points · Posted at 15:34:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

One word, OP: Commitment. You are committed. To what? Potato-shenanigans? yes.

But, the father should see two things here. One, you are committed to what you believe in. That's good because if you commit to his daughter you'll stick with her. That's a good thing.

Second, you can persevere the most harsh ridicule for something you believe in - regardless of how crazy it sounds. This means you stand true to your convictions. It's a testament, really, to your own internal strength.

Now, the bad stuff: In the eyes of her parents, you're either extremely sheltered - not a good thing - or extremely dumb - the more likely option. You girlfriend, she's confused by why you'd act dumb.

Fortunately, in a few years, they'll laugh about all this. The best thing, read what you wrote to us to your girlfriend. Explain it was a failed joke that got you into a hole, and you continued to dig thinking the joke would become funnier, but that never happened.

For the future - when you pull a comedic act, make sure you've already thought of an out. That's where you failed. You needed to know where the act was going, what the final scene was going to be. You didn't do that.

You maybe could've tied in the pronunciation as a closing scene: "Oh, not Poe-Tay-Toe... Poe-tah-toe. Oh! I get it now! It was just a mispronunciation! You say poe-tay-to, I say poe-tah-to!"

Thanks for the TIFU story. The sheer dumbness of this particular story made it one of the best stories I've read on reddit!

Montpre · 2 points · Posted at 15:36:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that is a unique storytelling style.

rawkthisfistred · 2 points · Posted at 15:36:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LMFAO OH MY GOD this made my day. lol

loopedbiscuit · 2 points · Posted at 15:37:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

hahahahahahah this made my day! I can totally see myself getting into a situation like this. I'm just glad I can hear this story from a different perspective than my own.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 15:37:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There was a TV special about school nutrition hosted by... not Gordon Ramsey. And he was asking inner city kids about french fries and potatoes and none of them had ever heard of potatoes before or had them, but they'd all had plenty of french fries. So, you know, if the OP is four or five, he could probably pull this off by claiming to be from a food desert.

TheseIdleHands84 · 2 points · Posted at 15:37:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i am very upset with you

OnlySlightlyCrazy · 2 points · Posted at 15:39:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is quite possibly the most infuriating thing I've ever read.

for_trill · 2 points · Posted at 15:40:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this entire thing with a Russian accent for some reason.

BitterJD · 2 points · Posted at 15:43:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Given that the potato ignorance was a great bit, and that OP would be embraced in the LA alternative comedy scene, I can only assume that OP's fuck up is his baffling prose.

wassaultr59 · 2 points · Posted at 15:44:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, OP break up with this girl her parents are fucking retarded, and you'll become a alcoholic around the holidays every year till they die.

chris45215 · 2 points · Posted at 15:45:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I do this whenever someone mentions Jesus. After they explain, I block out all the religious and supernatural stuff, ask WTF they are talking about - why would any dude tell someone else to drink his blood, and things like that.

I got the idea from Alan Davis on QI acting like he didn't know who Marco Polo was.

WordcloudYou · 2 points · Posted at 15:46:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Word cloud out of all the comments.

Don't like this? Message me!

Knot_My_Name · 2 points · Posted at 15:51:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You will NEVER convince them that you don't know what a potato is.

stdipsomaniac6 · 2 points · Posted at 15:55:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You went full retard man, never go full retard !!

redditnawab · 2 points · Posted at 15:56:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The hilarity of this increases ten fold if the OP somehow maintains the relationship and they get married. Many stories to be told for many generations.

youarepotato · 2 points · Posted at 15:56:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I could tell you what a potato is but you may not like the answer...

dopebroker · 2 points · Posted at 15:57:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell her you don't know what love is either and break up with her. It's good either way.

ScrewySauce · 2 points · Posted at 16:07:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You, sir, are a very impressive idiot. Why the fuck would you think this was funny anyway?

easygenius · 2 points · Posted at 16:17:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, you're an imbecile.

DarkEagle2009 · 2 points · Posted at 16:21:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not that this isn't one of the funnier things I've seen, but your writing style reminds me pretty heavily of the guy with the pet cockroach.

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2h8g4e/tifu_by_bringing_my_pet_cockroach_big_alan_with/

Honestly, I'm kind of hoping you're the same guy and this is the same girl, because that would make a very very fun narrative, even if it's all fake.

Boy meets girl. Boy shows girl cockroach on first date. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy pretends to forget what potatoes are. Girl leaves boy. Boy spends time feeding potatoes to Big Alan the cockroach.

MrEmouse · 2 points · Posted at 16:23:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I committed to the act of pretending I didn't know what a potato is.

Right there. THIS is where the fuck-up actually occurred.

Instead of thinking you had made a bad joke, you should feel sad for these schmucks for not understand that it was a joke. Take pity on their ignorance, and explain to them that you were joking. After all, how could anyone possibly make it to 14yrs old and not know what a fucking potato was? (excluding people with mental disabilities)

pretty-much-a-puppy · 2 points · Posted at 16:27:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"oh shit I did a weird thing! I'd better start acting normal" - nobody notices.

"Oh shit I did a weird thing! I'd better keep doing that weird thing over and over again until people stop thinking it's weird" - "why the fuck is this guy obsessed with not having heard of potatoes?"

capslockelation · 2 points · Posted at 16:27:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c relevant

Kurtronic · 2 points · Posted at 16:27:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was retarded. Can't really see how pretending to not know what a potato is would come as funny to anyone. I would just assume my daughter was dating a retard and would tell you to get the fuck out of my house as well.

nateonsideways · 2 points · Posted at 16:40:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When you break this story down to its simplest elements it really is quite poetic.

Let me tell you.

I should tell you.

Well let me tell you. I'll tell you...

Well let me tell you. "I don't know what to tell you."

Well let me tell you.

ASpacePeanut · 2 points · Posted at 16:41:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you that you can boil 'em, mash 'em, or stick 'em in a stew.

Cringe_Worthington · 2 points · Posted at 16:46:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I should tell you....This writing style make me want to hurt you more than the potato story.

SwagZoneBitch · 2 points · Posted at 16:46:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, hopefully you learned not to be an astounding idiot in the future.

seattleque · 2 points · Posted at 16:46:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

God damn this is brilliant - best thing so far this morning. And the comments are at least that good.

And now maybe we can be done with Zack and his bitches.

shouldvestayedalurkr · 2 points · Posted at 16:48:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you have aspergers bordering on autism.

I hope you realize that.

astah29 · 2 points · Posted at 16:48:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kudos for committing like that. Sometimes when things get fucked up you just gotta steer that ship into the iceberg.

hali89 · 2 points · Posted at 16:50:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the single greatest thing I've ever seen on reddit. The grammar, word choice, and the story itself combine to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. Amazing

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 16:55:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your follow up text messages to your gf are the cherry on top of this batshit sundae.

Rockit2Marz · 2 points · Posted at 16:55:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should be grounded.

Kiefyking · 2 points · Posted at 16:58:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Committing to a bad bit is where you went wrong

istuntmanmike · 2 points · Posted at 17:03:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read OP in Borat's voice.

Much lulz

IronicVisa · 2 points · Posted at 17:05:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the sort of story that just proves the concept of "sunk costs" to be utterly ridiculous. When you're "committed" to a course of action that is clearly going badly, abandon it.

HitlerWasASexyMofo · 2 points · Posted at 17:10:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

So, Ireland, or Idaho?

BecozISaidSo · 2 points · Posted at 17:15:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I like to do this type of joke for about 45 seconds. Especially if they mention a REALLY famous celebrity, the best is if someone mentions Oprah Winfrey. "I'm sorry, who?" then "Am I supposed to know who that is? I'm not current on celebrities..." It's fun, but if it goes on for more than a minute (60 seconds) then you make them start questioning their entire perception of reality and you get the result that OP got.

BecozISaidSo · 1 points · Posted at 17:18:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It isn't funny if they mention Steve Carrell, or even Cameron Diaz. If it's someone that maybe an elderly person wouldn't recognize the name, it doesn't work. I don't know why. It has to be Oprah, James Bond, Elvis Presley, etc

cryptkickerXXX · 2 points · Posted at 17:15:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you... Well let me tell you... Well let me tell you... Well let me tell you... Well let me tell you... Well let me tell you...

AbusedAlcoholic · 2 points · Posted at 17:19:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/GrYzZV3.jpg

s4nnx · 2 points · Posted at 17:25:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let me tell you^{letmetellyou^{letmetellyou^letmetellyou}}

red_fowler · 1 points · Posted at 19:27:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Exactly. Looks like someone learned a new phrase today, let me tell you.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:26:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

BWAHAHHAHAHAA!!! You are my new hero... Oh man. I don't care if she breaks up with you or not, but man! Can you come do this bit at my house? Just fuck with my wife like that. That would be great. I would pay you to do it! BWAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!!! LOVE IT!

nigezilla · 2 points · Posted at 17:26:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most "reddit" thing I've read in awhile.

zatalas · 2 points · Posted at 17:27:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Come down with the flu for a couple weeks then if its ever brought up say "oh yeah I looked that up on the Internet" and act like it is old old news, then quickly change the subject

BigDGuitars · 2 points · Posted at 17:32:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

yea I would have thrown you outta my house too.

refugeeallstar · 2 points · Posted at 17:38:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you...

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:39:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The long con...nice.

oobydewby · 2 points · Posted at 17:40:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When you pretend that you don't understand something, and you are not funny about it, and others are not entertained. That's called lying.

februaryrich · 2 points · Posted at 17:52:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'd just come clean at this point. Whatever happens you're still retarded to his father

Conambo · 2 points · Posted at 18:11:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you spoke to them in the same manner that this post was written (let me tell you, I have never heard of a potato before) I would be super annoyed as well.

otis228 · 2 points · Posted at 18:14:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't believe this is only your second girlfriend.

recoverybelow · 2 points · Posted at 18:17:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have to be in high school. This writing style seems immature and pretentious, Jesus. That was painful to get through

Z1Master · 2 points · Posted at 18:18:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Care to make a TL:DR for people who don't have the strength to read such an autistic story?

JohnDoe419 · 2 points · Posted at 18:39:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TL;DR: OP's GF invites him to dinner w/ parents and OP jokes that he's never heard of potatoes; joke falls flat but OP sticks w/ it and GF's father throws OP out of his home.

AdmiralSexon · 2 points · Posted at 18:19:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them back home in Latvia iz no potatoe, only suffer.

drpepper0000 · 2 points · Posted at 18:20:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have a feeling this is a /r/Thathappend story. Really hope it's true though. Thanks for the LOLZ Op.

phlobbit · 2 points · Posted at 18:25:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, potato.

TheOffTopicBuffalo · 2 points · Posted at 18:25:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full retard

clybourn · 2 points · Posted at 18:27:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This took place in Idaho.

SouthernFit · 2 points · Posted at 18:29:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you have the slightest clue what a joke is? What on gods beautiful green earth made you think that acting like you didn't know what a potato was would be funny?

heckler5000 · 2 points · Posted at 18:32:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have to say this is one of the silliest, I mean, why?

Your story makes me want to say very abusive things to you.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:41:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, if your relationship is going to rely on a lifelong lie about a potato, you may want to rethink weather or not you should be in a relationship right now.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:42:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIL TIFU is a willing suspension of disbelief zone.

Valaden · 2 points · Posted at 18:43:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You went full retard.. Never go full retard

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 18:46:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everybody knows that you never go full potato

Melssyoung · 2 points · Posted at 18:49:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lesson learned. Don't do this if your 3rd girlfriend ever invites you to dinner with her parents.

ataraxic89 · 2 points · Posted at 18:50:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Am I the only person who thinks this person is an idiot?

SL8Rfan · 2 points · Posted at 18:50:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let ME tell you that I would like to ask you to tell me what your first language is OP?

Russian, Bulgarian?

Lurking4Justice · 1 points · Posted at 18:54:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Something tells me it's English.

And if it isn't OP please take that as a compliment because so much of your syntax is on point.

It's just kinda odd there's nuanced control here but incorrect pronouns. But English pronouns are a bitch so yeah.

...sorry I saw your comment and had been wondering about it since halfway through the post myself.

threecee509 · 2 points · Posted at 18:52:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This may be the funniest thing I think I've ever read. Your tombstone should be inscribed "Here lies OP. He never knew what a potato was."

Arjaybe · 2 points · Posted at 18:55:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Upvoted purely for title

6ftTurkey · 2 points · Posted at 19:04:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This could easily be an episode of Peep Show or Todd Margret.

boomboomkittyfcuk · 2 points · Posted at 19:13:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Omg, laughing so hard.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:13:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing that she won't let you backfire on her face anytime soon after this.

jkeogh1413 · 2 points · Posted at 19:17:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is incredible.

HTLX2 · 2 points · Posted at 19:21:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck? Yes you were playing a really stupid prank to be funny.... But they got fucking upset over it? I say you dodged a bullet. Wow.

MerkyMerkinsmith · 2 points · Posted at 19:22:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks! I'll do this for my next "meet the parents," not to try to amuse them, but to find out if they're assholes.

maximim · 2 points · Posted at 19:22:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When I was about 25, my girlfriend was surprised that I didn't know what elope meant. Wasn't funny, I just never use that word.

jonb622 · 2 points · Posted at 19:26:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You went full Costanza.

Fancy_Pantsu · 2 points · Posted at 19:28:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let me tell you x 9000.

Ok bro.

edgeofover · 2 points · Posted at 19:34:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In too deep

kwamelives · 2 points · Posted at 19:35:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have only ever heard of the po-tah-toe not the po-tay-toe... the ones you'd seen have always been orange and sweeter... plus, you're an idiot!

TheFattestMatt · 2 points · Posted at 19:40:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think the best part is the random errors made me read this in a Russian accent.

Z4KJ0N3S · 2 points · Posted at 20:19:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/iamverysmart

gliscameria · 2 points · Posted at 20:21:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The next time you see any of them just pretend you never met them. Problem solved. I'd go the extra mile and photoshop your girlfriend out of any pictures on your phone and get your parents in on the game.

wear this shirt

Emersontm · 2 points · Posted at 20:27:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She should have told you potatoes are what you take pictures with.

SquareMelon · 2 points · Posted at 20:32:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did anyone else read this in the voice of Fez from That 70s Show?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 20:56:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should I let you tell me? I'm not sure...

IrishGuyGolfer · 2 points · Posted at 21:00:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your face must have beet red and felt like it was on fire during this conversation. I can't help it, but this was hilarious. Even if they thought you were full of crap they should have just rolled with it and pretended it was no big deal. For them to kick you out of the house and your girlfriend to freak was one step down from Manson family stuff.

victorious404 · 2 points · Posted at 21:16:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This can't be real. Even the cringy way you typed this out

semmu · 2 points · Posted at 21:20:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is almost like the situation where the boy faked to their neighbour that he's mentally challenged :D True cringe material.

loki93009 · 2 points · Posted at 21:25:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You say let me tell you way too much

seantogo2 · 2 points · Posted at 21:29:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you wear a fedora neckbeard?

OMGZZITSCC · 2 points · Posted at 21:52:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who the fuck comes up with this shit?

darth_chimichanga · 2 points · Posted at 22:23:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am imagining Al Pacino as the dad and a young Paul Dano as OP.

BristlesToothbrush · 2 points · Posted at 23:00:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kinda reminds me of this WKUK sketch: http://youtu.be/ALhvjQ2x_ik

Danonon · 2 points · Posted at 23:04:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i don't know if it's better if it's a lie. You're kinda screwed op

TacoDirtyToMe · 2 points · Posted at 23:54:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

To really fuck with them, next time you're over for dinner (if there is a next time) and they serve potatoes just say you LOVE potatoes.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:48:21 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I cried so much reading this and laughing so hard out loud. Who fuckin does that

Feather_fingers · 2 points · Posted at 00:54:47 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can see how they took offense to this, like maybe you were mocking what they decided to serve that night.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:28:47 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have pissed all over his house to establish dominance.

simo812a · 2 points · Posted at 10:36:18 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

FIFY: You should always piss over Someone's house to establish dominance

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:46:18 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you correcting me?? I'm gonna piss all over your house.

simo812a · 1 points · Posted at 07:11:30 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not if I poss all over yours first!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 00:59:18 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

My piss -- is gonna be all on your home. Your piss -- smells like old-man cologne.

simo812a · 1 points · Posted at 05:12:47 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Damn son

Razlyk · 2 points · Posted at 02:47:39 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Idiot

Glockman22 · 2 points · Posted at 02:52:37 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

wait a few day then make yourself look strung out go over to her house and tell them they got you hooked on potato's and you need a fix bad with bacon and sour cream

super_tr00per · 2 points · Posted at 03:08:41 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I made a high pitched noise and said "tastes very strange"

i lost it

PleasingDaydream · 2 points · Posted at 03:27:33 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck? How did you think of this shit? I've never laughed so hard in my life.

Johnny_Doublay · 2 points · Posted at 05:17:01 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you i tell you and well i'll tell you

Blaxx101 · 2 points · Posted at 05:36:04 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Next time ask her mom......"Those look very interesting. What are those two things on your chest?"

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:32:41 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you...

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:26:05 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I wanna do this so badly, but unfortunatly I live in germany.

mrdexie · 1 points · Posted at 02:26:41 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

So what :P

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:38:26 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

noone will ever believe I've never heard of potatos.

Soluz · 1 points · Posted at 14:48:55 on February 3, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well they didn't believe him either so you should be good.

GamerX44 · 2 points · Posted at 03:26:04 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, you dense motherfucker.

MNITrenton · 2 points · Posted at 09:07:20 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

These comments make me glad I came on to Reddit. Redditors are so much better than real life people!

dejalive · 2 points · Posted at 14:19:50 on February 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is amazing

ImGiraffe · 2 points · Posted at 21:15:24 on February 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I want to be able to pull this off as well as you did

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:00:04 on February 18, 2015 · (Permalink)

When he told you to "get the fuck out of the house" You should have without a word, got up, looking at him with disgust, and left the house. Without a word. And not to the girl after that at all either. To make her blame her dad that you just left like that without a word. C'mon man, make it way more dramatic, and believable idk... God knows, maybe you really did not know what the fuck a potato is, and this asshole is just cussing you out?

unless, of course you didn't mention few important details of the story....

Unholyconfesns · 2 points · Posted at 18:50:07 on March 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

oh dude you gotta end it or make it clear it was a joke during the joke lol you're fucked

Outraged_Piggy · 2 points · Posted at 02:56:28 on March 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell reading that just lowered my IQ by 10 points

Raaaaaaaaaandy · 2 points · Posted at 02:28:38 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

holy fuck. this is the dumbest/best thing I've seen on reddit.

beyd1 · 2 points · Posted at 20:22:51 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best thing anyone has ever done you did great OP if she wants to break up with you fine get a girl who can take a joke. This is amazing and I am laughing like a maniac in the att store.

bananabastard · 2 points · Posted at 05:05:00 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now you have a great story to tell for the rest of your life.

wKarrde · 2 points · Posted at 05:26:03 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is OP Borat?

jackoctober · 2 points · Posted at 05:40:55 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Costanza level moronic behavior.

u83rmensch · 2 points · Posted at 07:01:18 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

when you lie about dumb shit.. you're gonna have bad time.

Anaxamandrous · 2 points · Posted at 07:38:27 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you Andy Kaufman?

kerelberel · 2 points · Posted at 09:15:32 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why the high pitched voice?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:56:30 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

My sides are on fucking Saturn. This is the funniest shit I've ever read let me tell you.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:20:14 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

how does this even happen in the modern world

chubby_bunny87 · 6 points · Posted at 10:20:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by wasting my time reading this garbage

Master_Cracker · 5 points · Posted at 06:50:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was just... so hard to read

loonifer888 · 5 points · Posted at 09:09:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Brand new account, ridiculous story...

/r/thathappened

JRam31 · 6 points · Posted at 05:59:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the greatest thing I've ever read. Thank you.

unmadmax · 3 points · Posted at 07:55:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was laughing out loud like a madman at 2am, let me tell you. This is the dumbest, yet funniest tifu I've read so far. Holy potatoes! Bravo OP!

sofiagandako · 5 points · Posted at 09:17:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My favorite part is that he committed all the way! hahahaha Texting his gf that he doesn't know what a potato is. Fantastic.

pillowhard · 3 points · Posted at 05:07:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

So what were you planning to do if the parent's thought your acting was funny?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:12:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man... this is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Possibly the most shite joke (as well as poorest taste for meeting your gf's parents for the first time), and your commitment made it so much worse. I have nothing else to say man, I'm speechless...

PotatoChucker · 4 points · Posted at 07:13:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're fucking retarded. This was hilarious to read.

tin_foil_hat_x · 5 points · Posted at 08:41:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahaha this is the funniest TIFU ive read in a while.

gurgaue · 5 points · Posted at 09:43:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, when the father said "you're fucking with us, admit it" you could've just started laughing and been like "of course I'm fucking with you". It was you shot man!

EDIT: ps. you're an idiot.

Nicenamebr0 · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy fuck, you went full retard op.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 10:04:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a fucking idiot.

Aktow · 3 points · Posted at 12:06:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yep, you did f up. Dad doesn't think you are a idiot for not knowing what a potato is, he thinks you are a idiot for not waiting for them to get to know you better before trying to be funny.

Bodygasm · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You sound full blown autistic.

ReDalgal · 5 points · Posted at 04:43:51 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm a minority here, but this just sounds a bit fake

Taikatohtori · 1 points · Posted at 10:21:13 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Agreed. One of the top replys to yesterdays askreddit thread "how do you fuck with people" was "act like I dont know common foodstuffs like potato"

constantlyvariable · 1 points · Posted at 11:43:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

i picture OP as one of those fedora wearing M'lady type guys lol

if i was the father, i'd kick your ass to the curb too.

gamerguyal · 3 points · Posted at 07:01:23 on February 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, this is what happens when Redditors try to write greentext stories.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 18:46:50 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

can I just say this post is written fucking fantastically

really dostoevsky-like

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:59:36 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I agree. The way he wrote his story makes it even more funny.

TroyPDX · 1 points · Posted at 23:23:06 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reminds me of 'A Confederacy of Dunces'

indurption · 6 points · Posted at 06:56:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is one of the funniest goddamn things I've ever read. Your grammar really drove it home. 9/10, 10/10 with rice, I'll tell you what.

peter8899 · 5 points · Posted at 05:10:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think you're making mistakes here. First ask yourself if the whole potato joke was a mistake? Was it funny, looking back was it funny? If the answer is no, then ask yourself when no one laughed or smiled immediately after would it have been better to admit it was a joke or continue insisting it wasn't? If the answer was you regret not owning up to the joke, think about the fact that in a month you might regret not owning up to it now. To admit to it being a joke now is going to be very embarresing and you'll lose a lot of face. Just be honest tell them you were really nervous and didn't know what to do to make a good impression. They will think you are an idiot. But let's face it you kind of are. However, everybody is an idiot about something at some time in their lives. I for example am a grown man and can't spell embarresing correctly.

What separates real idiots from the rest of us is the ability to recognize our mistakes and own up to them. Just call them.

tommos · 17 points · Posted at 07:18:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stop giving out shitty advice. OP needs to follow this through to the bitter end. And then every day for the rest of his life he needs to put a potato in their letter box.

jshepardo · 5 points · Posted at 09:49:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Exactly. OP needs to take it further and refuse to learn what is a potato.

msbadwolf420 · 25 points · Posted at 05:20:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

fuck that. take it to your grave, kid.

dildo_baggins16 · 10 points · Posted at 05:36:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This. Just knowing someone has gone through this has made my shitty day at work better.

JoyceCarolOatmeal · 10 points · Posted at 06:46:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know. Maybe it's just late, or maybe I'm overworked, or something, but I've been laughing like a maniac this entire time. It sucks to be OP (for so many reasons), but I think this is hilarious.

fiercelyfriendly · 3 points · Posted at 10:31:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

admitting to this mistake might have worked after 5 minutes, not days later.

JoyceCarolOatmeal · 0 points · Posted at 06:47:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

*embarrassing

madroxide · 5 points · Posted at 06:13:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you're an idiot who doesnt know when to stop... you ARE a potato

galudwig · 1 points · Posted at 00:58:20 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude.. That's a low blow

BorsalinoGentlesir · 3 points · Posted at 07:39:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If this is true, then I agree wholeheartedly with the Father. I would have kicked you out of my house too.

I wouldn't want my daughter dating an abnoxious asshole who either won't quit on his terrible joke like a Middle Schooler, is an ignorant neanderthal who doesn't know what McDonalds French Fries are made out of, or thinks that I'm a gullible idiot.

In short, OP, no Father wants their daughter to date a potato. And you, Op, are a potato.

MagicalHamster · 1 points · Posted at 09:44:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do McDonald's fries still have potatoes in them? I thought most of the ingredients came from Potatoe-esque chemicals.

BorsalinoGentlesir · 2 points · Posted at 16:39:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Probably do. But you still have to know that they were inspired by potatoes at least.

EvilBob772 · 2 points · Posted at 06:09:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know what an upvote is. But I gave you one anyway. Thanks for fucking up today.

brianboss · 3 points · Posted at 07:39:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

dude, put it this way. a family like that is fucked man. who gets that angry, wheres the sense of humor for them. if anything you just gave all men a quick way to envision a future with certain people. Bravo, i was laughing the whole time. plus the girl isnt too thoughtful not standing by you. dump her for having a weird ass family and bailing on you in that situation. awesome pal. do it again to your next girlfriends family, if they laugh and embrace you, stick with them haha too cool

msbadwolf420 · 2 points · Posted at 05:18:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

lmao i think this is the funniest thing i have ever heard in my life. thank you for sharing and its okay the first few gfs are usually throwaways anyhow lol.

PizzaQuest420 · 2 points · Posted at 07:34:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you're so great, you're the most wonderful thing. this made me laugh so hard

unmadmax · 2 points · Posted at 07:57:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best laugh in a long time. Reading it again!

UncommonSense0 · 2 points · Posted at 08:39:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...Why do you feel the need to commit so hard to the joke?

If it gets to the point of your GFs dad yelling at you, youve gone too far. Especially considering it was a terrible joke

ricdesi · 1 points · Posted at 09:42:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Basic rule of thumb: if you make a joke and no one laughs, you're not funny, so shut the fuck up. Especially if said party invited you into their home for a meal.

UncommonSense0 · 2 points · Posted at 20:31:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I understand committing to a joke to help sell it, but when its an awful joke, and the potential humor is far outweighed by the annoyance you've caused everyone around you, especially when you need to impress the people around you, you need to cut the act and admit it was a terrible attempt at a joke.

Then again, at the same time, who the hell gets so upset of a lame joke about not knowing what a potato is?

ricdesi · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Someone who's spent a long day at work and just wants to have a decent meal with his family, I would imagine.

UncommonSense0 · 1 points · Posted at 20:58:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thats true

PM_ME_YOUR_KARMA_TY · 2 points · Posted at 10:06:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I actually think you could get out of it by swallowing every last ounce of pride.

If you let them know face to face you made a terrible joke and was so afraid of not seeming funny or whatever they could feel pity and accept the appoligy

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:26:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm trying to think of everyone that I know who would do something like this, and they're all pretty cringey people.

That said, I'm pretty sure this is made up. Like 90% of the stories that get to the top.

sungodra_ · 2 points · Posted at 11:06:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This needs an epic reading like the "THEN WHO WAS PHONE" story

If it's not done by tomorrow morning, I'm doing it.

butthurtpants · 2 points · Posted at 11:25:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

To be honest, you sound like a bit of a wanker, so maybe the potato thing was just a lucky out for them.

gokunaruto65 · 2 points · Posted at 11:44:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I should tell you, the reason this is only your second girlfriend is because you sound intolerable

Foreskin_Folksongs · 2 points · Posted at 11:45:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You don't know what a potato is, they don't know what a sense of humour is.

matayo41 · 2 points · Posted at 12:01:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

fake and gay

syther555 · 2 points · Posted at 13:17:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude you're using some really strange word combos, "very aghast", "slapping my mind", "become known to them". I'm guessing you're not a native English speaker and that's fine and everything but try not to be so ambitious with your vocabulary, these words don't fit well imo.

vohit4rohit · 2 points · Posted at 15:53:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you're a fucking potato.

attilathehut · 2 points · Posted at 17:50:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that this was just a bad joke. And let me tell you that I cringed while reading this. Then, well.. let me tell you, I downvoted this story. Edit: spelling

Hillbillyjacob · 2 points · Posted at 19:05:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You wanted to be amusing and that's what you went with? You're going to die a virgin.

Ecdysozoa · 2 points · Posted at 20:27:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is great, sometimes you just have to dig your heels in and go with it. A true comedian doesn't let the fact that he is bombing get in the way of a well crafted bit, those critics couldn't handle the subtle intricacies of potato humor.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:29:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

EnsignShepard · 2 points · Posted at 11:19:22 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's really really pathetic OP.

SouthernFit · 2 points · Posted at 19:25:05 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't blame the dad for being pissed. I would never let your retarded ass date my daughter.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:29:01 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like the father had a chip on his shoulder. Insert Comedy Punchline Drum Effect Here

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:21:45 on February 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP I fucking love you. That shit is gold.

nosirrah646 · 2 points · Posted at 08:58:23 on February 7, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not really a fuck up on your part. Honestly, I wouldn't want to have to be around those kind of people anyway.

Lejkahh · 2 points · Posted at 01:59:28 on February 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so fake it hurts.

bic_man · 2 points · Posted at 23:55:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're fucking stupid, OP.

stonedkoolaidman · 1 points · Posted at 04:31:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I applaud you for committing until the end. Her dad sounds crazy. I get that he saw through your lie but eventually you would figure he would let it go instead of kicking you out for not knowing what a potato is. Over reaction on his part

[deleted] · 33 points · Posted at 07:25:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[removed]

aztec_prime · 8 points · Posted at 08:41:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My grandpa woulda kicked his ass for that shit lol

a_jill_sandwich · 5 points · Posted at 08:52:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My sister had boyfriends who acted like smart arses on their first meeting with my parents. They could have been the nicest guys in the world, but they fucked up that first impression.

soupified · 1 points · Posted at 18:26:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, I don't think anyone in the history of awkward meet-my-parents dinners has ever been guilty of that.

ScroteHair · -5 points · Posted at 08:54:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Come on, I'm sure he didn't intend it.

Nerull · 2 points · Posted at 15:16:21 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

In which case he actually is an idiot.

alviator · 4 points · Posted at 10:25:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A true comic commits to the bit til the very end, no matter how much they bomb. You will go far, good sir.

/slow clap

now_look_here · 3 points · Posted at 08:36:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, that happened. What a bullshit story.

xWilfordBrimleyx · 0 points · Posted at 12:29:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't decide what makes me cringe the most here. Is it the awful grammar and terrible form? Perhaps it is the aspergers-esque social interaction. It might just be knowing that someone is actually out there that is this stupid and they vote or will be able to eventually.

Clarrington · 2 points · Posted at 13:16:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

English may not be their first language, could explain the terrible grammar/form, but not explain not the rest of it though.

SeenNiggaSnowBefrore · 3 points · Posted at 08:35:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think this was a bad joke to begin with, especially since it was the first time you met them. You basically said their cooking was bad when you told them it tasted strange. You should've just told them it was a bad joke in the very beginning.

HomeSlisce · 2 points · Posted at 16:43:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you're a fucking idiot. her dad should have literally thrown you out of his house instead of just yell at you to leave. you are there as their guest. dating their daughter. potentially banging their daughter. i suggest that you don't go to any girlfriend's home from now on until your balls drop.

3Goggler · 3 points · Posted at 19:39:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You certainly did fuck up, and if she breaks up with you, then you'll have gotten exactly what you deserve. If I was her father I'd most likely have reacted a bit harsher. When someone invites you into their home, you don't insult their intelligence and act like a fucking twat, which is exactly what you did. (1) No one fucking believes, or would ever believe, that you have never even heard of a potato. (2) If for some reason you had not heard of a potato, and had not directly arrived from a potato free 3rd world country, then I'd have kicked you out of my house for being a fucking imbecile. Bottom line, you weren't funny, you weren't clever, you were too much of a pussy to say you made a bad joke because you were nervous, and you were basically a complete douche.

Benton5884 · 8 points · Posted at 20:01:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shit, the dad's got reddit and he's going for round 2...

chabanais · 2 points · Posted at 06:01:37 on February 8, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like you're potato.

B_i_llt_etleyyyyyy · 1 points · Posted at 06:37:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If she's anything like her folks, you dodged a major bullet.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 10:57:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

You're like the third guy i see writing that shit.

How dumb do you think the parents are seriously ?

A potato man, a freaking potato.

It's like the worst choice of food he could have made. Potatoes are universal and intemporal, oldest food in the world. RIch, poor, asians, africans, big cities, caves, small villages, potato is the basic primary food you know about, even if you don't eat it, you know about it, it's in our fucking collective human memory, hey they should have sent a fucking frozen potato in space with that sattelite that's supposed to let aliens know who we are dammit !

Giving his story op surely lives in us.

USA man, potato, USA, potato, USA... The only way this guy couldn't have heard of a potato or french fries until this dinner is if he had been sequestrated in a cave from birth and just got out of there to directly walk into this house without passing by a fucking mcdonald !

So going from there, you're just looking at some kid who just wants to put his sticky penis into your precious daughter's holes. You kindly invite that little turd to your own table and then this guy just plainly (and i'm sure badly) lie to your face by pretending not to identify that fucking BAKED POTATO in front of his face and has the nerve to even taste it and add that HUUUGE grave-digger piece of comment without admitting shit. Even then, you have the crazy patience not to smack that face but to ask if he's fucking with you, giving him a fucking last chance, and this dude just put the nails on the coffin trying to sound as serious as he can.

Just picture that shit.

Just, find the insane one in the lot.

B_i_llt_etleyyyyyy · 0 points · Posted at 15:48:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Nice essay. Grade: F. You should review proper comma usage.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:53:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh man, trust me i write and speak better in your language than you would in mine.

bertiswho · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is entirely made up. It even reads like a shitty story.

my_nose_knows · 2 points · Posted at 19:19:50 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I haven't seen a more fake TIFU in a very, very long time. A moment of silence please for the three of us redditors who wasted their gold on this.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:09:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You sound like a really REALLY annoying person if you thought that was funny.

Ranger_Aragorn · 1 points · Posted at 05:01:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is a potato?

grendelwulf · 1 points · Posted at 05:21:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ouch. He kicked you out of the house? Man, sounds like you really got skinned.

doodlyoodly · 1 points · Posted at 05:57:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

haha you're toast but who cares you had fun

divermick · 1 points · Posted at 05:59:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love the commitment shown

lilpupp · 1 points · Posted at 07:15:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Chandler?

NattyTooty · 1 points · Posted at 07:16:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tomato tamato, potato patato, let's call the whole thing off. continue your commitment and explain how you call them patatos, simple misunderstanding on your part. ha. good luck. Mr. Potato

somerde · 1 points · Posted at 07:18:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Next time when you go to your gf's house, play this music out loud on your mobile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBWQCHb95rg

qwerpoiu43210 · 1 points · Posted at 07:19:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well that's some commitment you got there.

ikefalcon · 1 points · Posted at 07:22:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

is was when them parents starting thinking I DID know what a potato was.

pinballwizarddd · 1 points · Posted at 07:25:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i like your sense of humor! and your username. your gf's parents suck.

Morphia · 1 points · Posted at 07:29:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so fucking stupid ahahahah

Karmakameleeon · 1 points · Posted at 07:29:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you had just said you were from Latvia, you probably could have gotten away with it.

Xan_the_man · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Gotten to Gulag for it. Kapitalist pigdog!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:53:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should just walk away from this one. If yojr relationship with her survives this, her father may make it difficult for you two to continue dating if she still lives with them.

certifiedgangmember · 1 points · Posted at 08:20:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

10/10

reddit_crunch · 1 points · Posted at 08:20:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Siri, what is 'botaydo'?

stfu_whale · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is Kevin status. Props to you for sticking with it!

Astridash · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is an incredible fuck up.

InternatureDeluxe · 1 points · Posted at 08:21:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

trollllllllllllllllllll

misspussy · 1 points · Posted at 08:24:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I dont know why but the last line made me laugh. And if i were her i wouldve been like "hes joking!"

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 08:27:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

trollllllllllllllllllll

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:28:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hit the gym.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:42:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, this sounds bullshit.

A_Nick_Name · 1 points · Posted at 08:44:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

10/10

Has_Two_Cents · 1 points · Posted at 08:47:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We can only hope that the father is a redditer

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:48:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pretend there was a fake contest or dare on reddit and by doing this you raised money for charity. We will back you up.

TheStateOfDreaming · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This TIFU isn't even as funny as the comments are making it out to be. That was a shitty joke in the first place and the fact that OP kept going to piss off her parents for whatever reason was just sort of cringey. Granted, the dad did overreact, but how would acting dumb ever be a good idea for a first impression meeting? At best, the parents would just think you're a dumbass.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should invite her over for dinner, make mashed potatoes, and mash up anything other than a potato

Sam_MMA · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do people actually believe this. It's really fake but it's a decent laugh.

Mere_Anarchy · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You don't know this guy, you've never met this guy and you never will meet this guy. His life has absolutely no bearing on yours. It doesn't matter whether it's actually true or not. This story might be false. In all likelihood, it is false. But, it's at least possible that it happened, it's funny, and someone's telling you that it's true - you might as well believe them.

Sam_MMA · 1 points · Posted at 20:20:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Allowing yourself to believe things that you know are most likely not true is the first step to complacency and ignorance. Skepticism is a necessary tool in todays world.

coodykitten · 1 points · Posted at 08:53:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't care what people say about you op, YOU ARE A LEGEND IN MY BOOK!

dsgonzal · 1 points · Posted at 08:53:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bro you should have gave in!!! Hahah. Imma try this at my girlfriends parents house this weekend!! ROFL

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:53:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If this is your thing then go for it and continue your act. But if you are sorry and believe that you made a misstake then go and take responsibility for it and tell them that you fucked up. You wanted to make a good impression by trying to be funny, it backfired and you didn't want to look bad so you thought you had to continue. It might work, it might not, but then you will be on mutual ground again and you have a chance to redeem yourself.

baserace · 1 points · Posted at 08:54:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck.

Barrybran · 1 points · Posted at 08:54:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're lucky the family isn't Irish or you wouldn't have survived to write this.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:55:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ah the story of OP's second and final girlfriend.

noobucantbeat · 1 points · Posted at 08:56:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is the best thing i have read in such a long time, thank you so much OP.

kristinez · 1 points · Posted at 08:58:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll tell you what, OP, I think you're autistic.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:59:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jeeze, you'd think they were Latvian or something they were so sensitive about it.

Spectorials · 1 points · Posted at 09:00:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This reminds me of the time my girlfriend first came over to my parents house for dinner. My mum offered her some salad to which she responded "you don't win friends with salad". My mum doesn't like the Simpsons, she does not watch the Simpsons and thus did not get the reference, was extremely offended. Hilarious for everyone but my girlfriend and my mum!

HoneyBooHoo · 1 points · Posted at 09:01:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Look in the mirror. There you go. Potato. Ya fuckin' idiot!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:01:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I don't know what I'm looking at" - (imgur)

BrowncoatShiny · 1 points · Posted at 09:01:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

x <-- This is where you should have stopped. ------------> x You are here.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:01:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it." And I said "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."

Son, you're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

pinky0926 · 1 points · Posted at 09:01:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, you really like this phrase.

bumblebee_tuner · 1 points · Posted at 09:02:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Latvia, we no joke about potato.

Fournote · 1 points · Posted at 09:03:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's obvious they can't take a joke. Why would any rational person get that angry when it's obvious you're messing with them? A normal person would just laugh it off and then you'd be able to joke about it later, yet they exacerbated it by going completely insane, telling you to get out of their house and throwing insults your way. You're better off with a family that gets your sense of humor.

Coup_de_BOO · 1 points · Posted at 09:04:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I facepalmed so hard that I hope that I will never see you in RL because that would hurt or be annoying.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:04:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So first when the potato became on my plate, I acted very interesting.

Who talks or even writes like this? There was no discussion about feeling anxiety, fear or anything other than a pompous ( "I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted") attitude. If you knew, you wouldn't have begun this alleged foolishness.

This sounds like the made up antics of a 13 year old.

Vietpics · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's not a native English speaker.

Kunyisland · 1 points · Posted at 09:06:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TATERS?....What's TATERS precious????

ImDotTK · 1 points · Posted at 09:06:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them you're from Latvia.

Chetdhtrs12 · 1 points · Posted at 09:06:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You have to update us soon, OP!

theonlymillsy · 1 points · Posted at 09:08:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are a 14 year old spastic and you should stop, just stop.

n8dawwg · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm not trying to be a dick, but you're an idiot.

Troyus_Maximus · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I should tell you. And let me tell you what I should tell you. I'll tell you.

Wtf OP.

knoxharrington66 · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you'd rather be perceived as sociopathic lier than a poor comedian? Not sure I agree with that judgment call.

discovigilantes · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you.

SnowSong- · 1 points · Posted at 09:10:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You may not know what a potato is but you sure as hell are dumb as one.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:10:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sweet Latvian joke, bro.

carlosp_uk · 1 points · Posted at 09:11:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is either one of the best-executed exercises in creative comic writing or a tragic incident that deserves awe, congratulations and sympathy in equal measure.

Grownfetus · 1 points · Posted at 09:11:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A What?!?!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:14:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A fucking Wizard harry!

Qwintro · 1 points · Posted at 09:11:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would've loved if Sam from LotR was at the dinner table.

PO-TA-TOES!

bdshch · 1 points · Posted at 09:12:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i guess you should confess and admit it was a bad joke. uuuh how much years old are you?

Kil0GramSAM · 1 points · Posted at 09:12:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you no matter how bullshit this is, it's still funny.

TimberWolfAlpha · 1 points · Posted at 09:13:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It must be hard to taste the potato with all that spaghetti.

I_Like_Spaghetti · 2 points · Posted at 09:16:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yum!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:13:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You did nothing wrong. I too do not understand this word Potato. I have heard it used after the word couch. Maybe they are used to make couches?

el_crunz · 1 points · Posted at 09:13:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You really need to learn when to cut your losses but this was a hilarious TIFU and I thank you for it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:13:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's some next level aspergers there.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 09:14:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

of all the fake things, this is the fakest

CharlesXavierWalks · 1 points · Posted at 09:15:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full potato...

Vect0r · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I sure hope your fedora didn't fall off on your way out of M'lady's house.

JaapHoop · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

r u Latvian? The potatoes and retarded sense of humor make me think Latvian.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:19:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I offered grits to a friend once. They were still on the stove when I asked him if he wanted any.

Me: "Grits?"

Him: "What are grits?"

Me: "Hominy" (He hears "how many")

Him: "Two. I'll take two".

I was going to fuck with him and give him two little grains, but thought better of it and gave him two serving spoonfuls. Messing with peoples' minds when dealing with food can end up them not liking the food, by association.

He loved them, baked cheese and all. I bet he still doesn't know what hominy is.

Gungnir111 · 1 points · Posted at 09:21:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your life will dramatically improve when you stop committing to jokes so much.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:22:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never laughed so much at a TIFU post before. This is hilarious, man! Feels for you.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:23:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

keep us updated!

MaxTitration16 · 1 points · Posted at 09:25:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The level of social awkwardness involved in your decision making is simply amazing.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:27:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know what's worse your idea of humor at dinner or the parents lack of brain power to react that way

soylent_me · 1 points · Posted at 09:27:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have nipples focker, can you milk me?

Bakshi-zaki · 1 points · Posted at 09:28:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Next time you go there (if there is a next time) you should rush in the door with a bunch of french fries and act ecstatic at such an amazing creation. From there, every time you go over you should bring potatoes prepared a different way and just be in utter amazement.

MegaAlex · 1 points · Posted at 09:28:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You had a few chances to tell them, but you stuck with it and for that I respect you. Here's some chips made with zukini

yell0w_snowman · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is that Bobby Hill?

hugotroll · 1 points · Posted at 09:31:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love the reaction of the girlfriend.

*Father starts screaming * " I'm going to leave and leave you here with my enraged father k thx bye"

Greyfells · 1 points · Posted at 09:31:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I usually have somewhat kind words of motivation or advice for people, but what the hell dude? For future reference, if you're not a natural joker, just don't do it. It's not something you can bull shit.

Ouma_Shu · 1 points · Posted at 09:32:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Broke the number one rule about potatoes.

rustleman · 1 points · Posted at 09:33:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy shit the cringe is physical.

iamslegend · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Tater? What is Taters, Precious?

iamslegend · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stole this http://boilemmashmem.ytmnd.com/

mjc1027 · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a dick. Seriously, who does that on a first meeting with the gf's parents?

jshepardo · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ITT: angry mob getting trolled by OP.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I usually never laugh when reading things posted on here because I either think it's fake, or too big of a fuck up to laugh about. This had me crying man. I could just imagine how my family would react if my girlfriend tried saying that she didn't know what a potato was, and it would be pretty similar lol

Surrealpotato · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pleased to make your acquintance; I believe I qualify for this situation.

Briedeens4517 · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boy, did they overreact.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:36:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not even a funny thing to say in the first place. wtf went through your head at that moment lol

Heretoscoldyou · 1 points · Posted at 09:37:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You must be about 14 right, you're trying too hard to sound funny too

boynxdor · 1 points · Posted at 09:37:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them you don't like potatoes but you do quite like hot chips.

atty26 · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

is this somehow related to here?

Troxxies · 1 points · Posted at 10:21:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was my first reaction to

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

For some reason I read this in the voice of John Maloney.

I'm sorrrry!

PadaV4 · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe this is darvinism in action. OP is just too dumb to procreate -_-

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato became on my plate? I think you mean that the retarded bumble bee ejaculated on your plate.

says_preachitsister · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you from India OP? Something about the way you write had me thinking that you were and I read the entire thing with a Hindi accent, which made it even more hilarious.

Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

aristideau · 1 points · Posted at 10:58:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everything in Hindi sounds more hilarious.

jjones311 · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

though this is a really funny story, this is prolly the worst "joke" i have ever heard someone try to play and OP prolly has some awkward social issues... but god damn this really is funny

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:39:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm really sorry but now knowing what a pottato is is not funny...

Alejandro4891 · 1 points · Posted at 09:40:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

are they latvian?

CathodeAnode · 1 points · Posted at 09:40:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Cuckoo "Jacket Patato" and "im not bullsh*ting yo…: http://youtu.be/qNQ9VN705As

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:41:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dumbest thing I have heard. You deserved it lol

Don't go full potato next time.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:42:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I call bullshit.

InsaneClonedPuppies · 1 points · Posted at 09:43:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Larry David is apparently on Reddit

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:43:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now all you need to do is preemptively dump your gf. At best she's so confused she decides to just forget the whole ordeal and at worst you get to take the highgound and be the one to dump her instead of the other way around and tell your friends how her parents were so nuts.

A little text along the lines of "I'm sorry but i don't think I can be in a relationship with someone whose parents have clear anger management issues and are insensitive to my potato disability".

MrJed · 1 points · Posted at 09:44:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok so here's what you do, get in a car accident, then fake amnesia of the whole thing, and additionally fake amnesia over what any food is.

This is your only way out.

BlairTheWiseViking · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If they can't take a joke they're not worth a second of your brilliant time.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

For what it's worth, I thought it was damn funny. I am high though.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

larry david is apparently on reddit

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is beautiful. If it's true and you stick with her, give it a few years and then one day when you get served potatoes you should casually throw an anecdote of how you always used to have them as a child all the while staring your girlfriend dead in the eyes.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:46:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I got about two sentences in to this before I realized you're an insufferable cunt for several reasons. Fuck you, fuck off. Fuck this. Fuck.

Igor_Lascaux · 1 points · Posted at 09:48:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you Latvian?

Chicony · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I somehow managed to not laugh at work until I got to "Sir, before today I never heard of a potato." Hilarious.

MovieCommenter09 · 1 points · Posted at 09:50:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best Latvian Joke of all times.

QuintusVS · 1 points · Posted at 09:51:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, your words... Very... Funky

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:51:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This seriously reminds me of the scene in Pineapple Express where Seth is at his "girlfriends" house.

SoupyGoodness · 1 points · Posted at 09:52:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Rofl what the fuck man

theboatleft · 1 points · Posted at 09:53:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why not just say "just joking, can you pass me the water please"? just like that, it would've ended right there.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:53:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters?

Xtremik · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry to hear that.

Her parents are assholes.

Clungelord · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you a fucking moron?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

funniest thing on here in a long time

IO10 · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind :D It got even better after this.

iRosso · 1 points · Posted at 09:56:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I'll tell you how, I tell you.

blindmelonade · 1 points · Posted at 09:56:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/q7QpMsw.jpg

jrad151 · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

STOP SAYING LET ME TELL YOU

NorthernSpectre · 1 points · Posted at 09:58:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Congrats, you win the autism award. How you ever got a girlfriend I'll never know.

dungdigger · 1 points · Posted at 09:59:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They probably had seen borat too and just didn't want to play borat with you. You should probably just find someone how hasn't seen borat, borat.

shuggermyshingle · 1 points · Posted at 10:00:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There is a word beyond awesome. A word that describes a level of success beyond which us mortals can imagine.

That word belongs to you, OP.

Godspeed.

liverpooIFan · 2 points · Posted at 10:05:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And that word?... Potato

geekfagstupidloser · 1 points · Posted at 10:00:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP should have been quicker on his feet and began going on and on about how delicious this new foreign food was. Then every time you attend dinner show up with tidbits of information on potatos on retainer, like you have done nothing but study potatos since your last visit. ask questions about potatos and the different preparation methods. Then go to college to study the science of potatos, then major in potatoology, then get a job researching potatos. Commit to the long haul and all the sudden these people who thought you were a fucking crazy person are patting themselves on the back for providing you with an interest that led to a career path and the ability to provide for their daughter.

solkenum · 1 points · Posted at 10:00:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Why you heff to be mad? Its only potato."

snaredonk · 1 points · Posted at 10:01:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was not expecting a hilarious story! wtf

Let me tell you this is one of my favorite TIFU stories

bearofmoka · 1 points · Posted at 10:01:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Classic Zach.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:02:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

opentoinput · 1 points · Posted at 10:11:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Love it. How did you ever find the clip?

By the way, what is shenanigans?

insertfunnyphrase · 1 points · Posted at 10:25:57 on April 9, 2015 · (Permalink)

It is from the first season of Cukoo, a half decent series. Saw the first season, and the TIFU struck a bell; youtube did the rest!! Shenanigans - dishonest activity, generally silly/harmless

Flannelboy2 · 1 points · Posted at 10:03:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is like reading 4chan

thatmeanitguy · 1 points · Posted at 10:03:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have told them you were from Latvia.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:04:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Might just be my slightly ticked off mood, but the dad seems like an asshole. Let's say you actually don't know what a potato is. Maybe saying it tasted strange was rude, maybe the joke was stupid in the first place, but that dickhead was ruder and stupider. And if your girlfriend breaks up with you over a potato, that's stupid too.

iLightspeed · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jesus christ all I read there was "Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you, Well let me tell you..."

Jon-Osterman · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Plot twist: OP's GF is Latvian.

groutrop · 1 points · Posted at 10:05:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mate, sorry if this is true but I had a proper laugh for once on Reddit. This was hilarious in it's absurdity yet I can imagine it happening for real too. Go ahead and tell your girlfriend's parents the full story and why you didn't reveal to them that it was a joke. Show them this story if you can.

Neffie · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ur a funny guy op. it was a good joke would hear again. if your girlfriend and her family cant handle you they dont deserve you

madboi20 · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LOL you're freaking stupid.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This would be more offensive if they were Irish.

notjfd · 1 points · Posted at 10:06:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/qDfpSPn.png

Mochafrap512 · 1 points · Posted at 10:07:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And please update us!!!!

inthesuburbs · 1 points · Posted at 10:07:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So fake it hurts.

seanbeag · 1 points · Posted at 10:08:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell her you looked it up and you realised she was talking about a spud. You'd just never heard of it called anything else.

-StJimmy- · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It still looks the same.

seanbeag · 1 points · Posted at 10:21:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not if you only ever had it in the form of chips, or fries as I believe they are called over there.

fltemp · 1 points · Posted at 10:08:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Almost certain this is a troll. Maybe he's insinuating that the father would be more frustrated with the guys lack of ability to speak simple english rather than the potato incident and the main character in the story thinks the potato joke is the reason he was kicked out. Too poorly well written. 10/10 Am reading again.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 10:08:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/qdfpspn.png

Austen76 · 1 points · Posted at 10:09:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are a total fool. I'm guessing u are quite young. Ur social skills are poor. To pretend u don't know what a potato is isn't funny in the slightest. They wouldn't see u as amusing, they would see u as a total tosser. No one on earth will believe u don't know what a potato is. U live in a fantasy world and I just hope u might grow up a little soon.

Triffgits · 1 points · Posted at 10:09:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

tl;dr op is autistic

HashtagHR · 1 points · Posted at 10:09:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Azan humor. Amirite?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:09:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point.

Your dedication to your craft approaches the level of Pacino, De Niro, Day-Lewis, Crowe or Brody. If only it was about something other than potato...

ps: Btw, this is glorious.

yendaloth · 1 points · Posted at 10:10:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like a Charlie move :"No, I've never eaten a pear !"

MutedSense · 1 points · Posted at 10:11:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

relevant

stuka444 · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All over a freaking potato XD freaking crying over here

seink · 1 points · Posted at 10:12:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you are too autistic to have a meal with your girlfriends' parents but not autistic enough to just own up and apologize when her father gave you a window to do so.

I bet this story is as fake as your potato ignorance.

Mutha_Fukka_Jones · 1 points · Posted at 10:13:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Has to be fake. No one is this fucking retarded. If it's real, they all know you're a lying piece of shit. Good luck.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:13:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you how stupid this was.

marmitechips · 1 points · Posted at 10:13:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you, i should tell you i tried to read this aloud to my mother and i laughed until tears came out at the "i made a high-pitched noise" line

xsuqmadiq · 1 points · Posted at 10:14:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

nice tifu 8)

IkAlfie · 1 points · Posted at 10:14:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit

A comic bit, can't tell you how many times I've thought the same thing.

ipghandi · 1 points · Posted at 10:14:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I will leave this greatness here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6Iu3RxztTU

greeklemoncake · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

is was when them parents starting thinking

ImRudeWhenImDrunk · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Boogers

Scintilllatex · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just admit it dude

AbidingByTurkey · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lmfao dude. I lost it reading this.

Pirlize · 1 points · Posted at 10:17:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My live is potato.Maybe you could learn something from him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c

BongChambers · 1 points · Posted at 10:18:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Made 6 hours ago and your name is NotKnowPotato are you serious lmfao

LaughingMonkey_ · 1 points · Posted at 10:22:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, you certainly did fuck up.

Did it never occur to you to just admit it was a bad joke and maybe laugh at the fact that it was a terribly bad attempt at a joke?

Arcterion · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

... OP, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but... You might be borderline retarded. :|

kipukas9 · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

I've sat here for about 20 minutes at work following reading this just trying to fathom how this is even possible. What is actually wrong with you?

S0XonC0X · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the OP did was unbelievably stupid, but the dad's response was completely unacceptable. Yea op was being an asshole, but he wasn't being malicious just annoying. Would I want my daughter dating someone who demonstrates moronic behavior to such a high degree? No, but he could've easily expressed this to her after the op had left. Instead, his reaction was an unnecessary escalation which demonstrates psychological problems. Frankly, as the op I would just end this relationship.

itzjamesftw · 1 points · Posted at 10:23:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like this should be 4Chan green text.

fuzzyface83 · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dont give up the ship

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

sociopath

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll let you tell me if you stop saying "let me tell you".

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:24:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did you by chance have dinner with this family?

Kiwi_Nibbler · 1 points · Posted at 10:25:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I assume you didn't make it to dessert. You really would have been lost.

AmazonSpudderman · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love this. It was like reading an episode of a comedy show. Keep up the good work old chap. I only wish I could be half as courageous as you

uwatfordm8 · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So... OP is Latvian?

overweightdolphin · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I had a similar experience to this where I told my girlfriends parents as a joke that I never had any teeth fall out. That I'm in my 20's and the teeth in my head are the same teeth i had when I was 5. They seemed shocked but also impressed that their daughter is dating someone so responsible that he doesn't even lose teeth! It's gone too far, send help.

Count_Critic · 1 points · Posted at 10:28:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I do not sympathize with you. It's a great bit but when someone calls you out on a bit you can't keep doubling down on it. Because let me tell you no one is finding it funny at that point.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:30:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the first time in 25 years where I have laughed out loud reading a story by myself. Thank you.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:30:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them you were in some sort of accident where you have forgotten random things and this was one of those incidents. Admit to a couple of crazy stories about your new discoveries since your accident. Be highly apologetic and say you didnt want to tell them about the accident because you just want to move forward in life and want to live a normal and happy life, which started with meeting their daughter. This is a perfect opportunity to make them feel bad, you'll get sympathy and shit. Just dont use it to attain monetary gain eg, fraud. Dig yourself even deeper, what do you have to lose? If you pull it off, you will forever have the perfect out to any and all uncomfortable situations.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In a twist op is potato

ray_gun · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Retard trolling is almost never funny to the other party.

squaregoespal · 1 points · Posted at 10:31:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reddit is like a mecca for the autistic

sisko2k5 · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best. TIFU. EVER

Profoundant89 · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

george costanza...is that you?

Macc14 · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Sir...... Sir..... WHAT?! Is this a fruit? GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE"

Unic0rnBac0n · 1 points · Posted at 10:34:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing you were as baked as the potato?? dafuqq.

macarthy · 1 points · Posted at 10:34:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Larry David meets the parents

nemisis1400 · 1 points · Posted at 10:34:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was the family Irish?

ChocolateGiggles · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't understand the parents reaction. I guess I would think it strange for someone to not know what a potato is, but I wouldn't freak out or assume he was messing with or mocking me. And even if I did suspect he was, I'd just go along with it. Let him have his fun. I'd get my revenge later. Serve only potato dishes when he came over. Leave potatoes all over the house. Get him a Mr. Potato Head for his birthday.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So first when your TIFU became in my eyes, I have felt very interested.

MikeJ10 · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

if this is real its a great story in that its entertaining, thanks for sharing... and i hope it turns out well for you. If she breaks up with you over that it wasn't too serious anyway.

55easy · 1 points · Posted at 10:36:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP are you autistic?

IS_IT_A_GOOD_MOVE · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How wants a dipshit fatherinlaw like that anyway? Good move. Fuck the girl, finish her, go to the bar and use the story to get another girl.

elitemouse · 1 points · Posted at 10:39:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

holy shit OP how are you this bad at social situations

Phxdwn · 1 points · Posted at 10:40:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This could be an episode of That 70s Show. Did the dad call you a dumbass?

HardDifficulty · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I fucking love the way OP kept saying "well let me tell you". It gave the story a whole new level of entertainment lol.

coleman404 · 1 points · Posted at 10:41:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can you enlighten me? What is a potato?

LordTengil · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

DOn't worry, girls sometimes like boys that her parents don't like.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm 99.99% certain that OP is a terrible troll, but just in case it turns out that OP isn't a terrible fail of a troll: Op you have autism. You should get checked out because if this is how you act and live your life, you need help.

It makes complete sense why you've only had two girlfriends in your entire life. It's because you're an awful comedian and I'm assuming terrible with interpersonal relationships. You might as well be named Sheldon and constantly mumble "bazinga" as you abuse your friends with your autistic traits.

The more I think about it, the more I completely understand where the father was coming from. It's fucking infuriating. I would have acted the exact same way as he did, only I would have berated you even further. That poor, poor girl.

Hakim_Slackin · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them you always called them papas and they were small and purple and tasted different.

arrogant_elk · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, and you only say "tell you" nine times in all of that.

HighTechPotato · 1 points · Posted at 10:42:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's ok. I forgive you.

mySTASH · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ah yes, the reverse Latvian. Not a trick to be handled by amateurs.

jaydenc · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You put me in stiches, hilarious.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:43:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Think of this fuck up as a good thing, because this girls family is pretty fucked. No one should get that mad over someone not knowing what a potato is. Just think if you never did this joke and later on you ran into something you really didn't know about. You dodged a bullet today good sir.

Horstibro · 1 points · Posted at 10:44:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

when the potato became on my plate

Damn OP it would have scared the shit out of me to see a potato just come into existence in front of me... You got balls man

Imaussiesendmetits · 1 points · Posted at 10:44:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So funny. Had me laugh out loud at my mobile screen. Good effort

UnsolvedMurder · 1 points · Posted at 10:45:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The autism is strong with this one.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:46:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like you have a good grasp on this "potato" debacle. But, now you must take it further. You must master the skill of counting to potato.

revivisection · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure this is a deleted scene from The Room.

HappenedOnCuckoo · 1 points · Posted at 10:51:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tadaaaa! https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421914688&x-yt-cl=84503534&feature=player_detailpage&v=qNQ9VN705As#t=8

garbage_pail_kid1 · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bravo!

eyates618 · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is something I would think of to do but not have the balls to do. good on you. if this was a film I would watch it purely for comedy. thank you for this.

edit: I figured I should mention that a guy like Larry David or Woody Allen would make this into a wonderful movie.

HappenedOnCuckoo · 2 points · Posted at 10:52:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Or Andy Samberg. https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-ts=1421914688&x-yt-cl=84503534&feature=player_detailpage&v=qNQ9VN705As#t=8

eyates618 · 1 points · Posted at 11:57:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

ah yes. very nice.

mikeyninja · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow OP - were you ......BAKED....... when you thought of this?!?!

Bad Jokes on the Internet is brought to you in front of a live studio audience

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So was it a poh-tay-toh or a poh-tah-toh?

UnreachablePaul · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato is a hallicination. Then death.

dalcowboiz · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought that I had everybody on my side
But I went and blew it all sky high
And now she won't even spare a passing glance
With my potato plan, I never had a chance

When big papa came 'round just to put him down
OP turned into a clown
And no girl ever wants to dance
With a fool who went and lied to her parents

I know I shouldn't mock around, I shouldn't curse
But the pain feels so much worse
'Cause windin' up with no one is a lot less fun
Then a burn from the sun or sand in your buns

Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget
So listen and you won't regret
Be true to yourself, don't miss your chance
And you won't end up like the fool who lost his girlfriend

extralargethrowaway · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let me tell you, Op gets credit for 100% commitment

MyNameIsNotBrenda · 1 points · Posted at 10:50:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hhmmmmmmmm.

Well okay, that was not a smart thing to do.

On the other hand: it's not exactly not-awkward to yell at someone and do the "get out of my house" routine. So I'm honestly not so sure if the situation is that bad.

I would advise you to tell the truth though. The impossibility of your situation is actually quite funny. But I believe you are also owed an apology for how you were treated. No need to take all of the blame.

MantisTobogganMDPhD · 1 points · Posted at 10:51:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm almost 100% sure this isn't true, but god damn, if it isn't hilarious. Have an upvote.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:51:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why didn't OP admit that he was just trying to be funny. I don't get the need for keeping the joke going that far,especially if they seemed to get angry or confused. You fucked up good OP lol.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:52:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should consider a career in propaganda.

noregretsactually · 1 points · Posted at 10:52:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't even care if this is real or not, I loved it!

EbolaJelly123 · 1 points · Posted at 10:52:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you are my hero

GraffinTested · 1 points · Posted at 10:54:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dump her, you can get a lot of hot girls with this story.

doomblackdeath · 1 points · Posted at 10:55:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lemme guess, they're from the Midwest? Everyone knows you can't joke with Midwesterners because first it requires a sense of humor.

NeoHenderson · 1 points · Posted at 10:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My favorite part was checking the comments and noticing OPs user name is /u/NotKnowPotato

aristideau · 1 points · Posted at 10:56:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't believe you.

msrocklover · 1 points · Posted at 10:56:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hate it when you make a joke and then it's too late to say it's a joke, happened to me before but they were minor jokes. Also this is something my SO would do since he has a weird obsession with potatoes lol

Integrs · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fake or not, my favorite ever TIFU.

EddieVisaProphet · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

I really want a little more background on their family. Understandably, what you did was a little absurd, and I can actually understand what you did, but I'm trying to imagine what exactly her family is like and why they felt the need to go to the point of yelling and cursing at you, because that seems a bit extreme.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:16:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Even though he meant no harm, he sounds like a dumbass. I imagine most people would get irritated.

marilidavid · 1 points · Posted at 10:57:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

good luck

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:58:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...I don't believe this happened. Kinda funny though.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:58:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read all of that in an Ali G voice.

ADMINlSTRAT0R · 1 points · Posted at 10:59:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kids these days

12psr4 · 1 points · Posted at 10:59:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like they had their opinions about you already formed. They weren't going to have you fucking around with them and you gave them the reason to kick you out. They hate you you - forget them. you need to get your girlfriend to take your side 'cos she's prob already been arguing with her parents about you and is prob fed up with you being an a££hole. Cum clean & throw yourself on her mercy.....

survivorshrimp · 1 points · Posted at 10:59:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The part that amazes me the most, other than you pretending not to know what a potato is, is why did her parents care so much. Are potatoes fundamental to their religion or do they own a potato farm or something?

mikede88 · 1 points · Posted at 11:00:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you this is fucking retarded

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:00:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

never go full retard

C3P-BR0 · 1 points · Posted at 11:01:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm so very proud of you OP. Andy Kaufman is smiling up from heaven. You're going to do great things in this world with a that level of dedication deep inside. I wish that I knew you IRL so that I could pat you on the back. Jesus. My eyes are still wet from laugh-crying so hard.

Sputnik420 · 1 points · Posted at 11:01:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Beautiful story man, well played.

uncorruptedlamb · 1 points · Posted at 11:02:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You could know all there is to know about potatoes and then start spewing unknown potato knowledge at everyone you meet. Then start working for a potato manufacturer and sell them. Then become rich with the knowledge of potatoes and when you become famous and in a news conference. You can say it all started with a family that kicked you out of their house for not knowing enough about potatoes. But don't mention their names.

KennVal · 1 points · Posted at 11:03:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You can still bring it back....

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 11:03:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

beautiful story man, well played.

drinkthebleach · 1 points · Posted at 11:04:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh my god, you have NEGATIVE game, my friend. This is painful.

CrazierLemon · 1 points · Posted at 11:06:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You read too much Reddit

caretaker81 · 1 points · Posted at 11:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIL what a potato is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potato

autowikibot · 1 points · Posted at 11:07:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato:

The potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial nightshade Solanum tuberosum L. The word "potato" may refer either to the plant itself or the edible tuber. In the Andes, where the species is indigenous, there are some other closely related cultivated potato species. Potatoes were introduced outside the Andes region approximately four centuries ago, and have since become an integral part of much of the world's food supply. It is the world's fourth-largest food crop, following maize, wheat, and rice.

Image ⁱ

^Interesting: ^Stobrawa ^(potato) ^| ^Mr. ^Potato ^Head ^| ^Mashed ^potato ^| ^Russet ^Burbank ^potato

^Parent ^commenter ^can ^toggle ^NSFW ^or ^delete^. ^Will ^also ^delete ^on ^comment ^score ^of ^-1 ^or ^less. ^| ^FAQs ^| ^Mods ^| ^Magic ^Words

Daniel_Laixer · 1 points · Posted at 11:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, WHAT THE FUCK!?

Btw, kudos for writing a tifu that isn't about sex.

purplestainedpuddle · 1 points · Posted at 11:08:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Latvian?

agamemnonymous · 1 points · Posted at 11:08:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Be very very careful moving foward bud. This could get really out of hand really quickly. Depending on what lengths you go to and how angry and connected the father is, you could fry for this.

JockMctavishtheDog · 1 points · Posted at 11:09:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I think she will break up with me anyway."

Yes, I think so.

severe_rabies · 1 points · Posted at 11:09:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think I found the girls dad/brother http://youtu.be/QiqqC_fbP1c

anpassungburo · 1 points · Posted at 11:09:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read the entire OP in a German accent. It just makes sense

yadag · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this post in Hank Hill's voice

steroidabuser · 1 points · Posted at 11:11:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you; what if you bang gf and she give birth to potato?

gweilo · 1 points · Posted at 11:13:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Have you seen the TV show Cuckoo by any chance?

Liverpoolfc8Gerrard · 1 points · Posted at 11:13:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ironically i read this entire thing in this dudes voice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c

Collins- · 1 points · Posted at 11:13:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is how I imagined her father...http://imgur.com/9EWD4wA

Xuttuh · 1 points · Posted at 11:15:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

tell her you're Australian, and you only know them as meaty roots, downunder, not potatoes. And they are green, not brown

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:20:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so Larry David

Wurmwood11 · 1 points · Posted at 11:20:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No tomato for the potato.

uttyaft · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

haha oohh Joey

pancakesmaplesyrup · 1 points · Posted at 11:23:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato!

lazenbooby · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most awkward fuck up I've ever seen, I love it.

chainsforbrains · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you!

Elsa08 · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your gf is a lucky girl! I'm not joking, that's hilarious. Her family need to get a sense of humour. My mum would find this hysterical!

MBNDIF · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your life is now potato

_paag · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everyone who has watched a John Woo movie knows about the white dove flying in the middle of a badass scene. It is acceptable because everyone knows it'll happen and because it is quick. Now imagine the "potato joke" was the dove. What if every scene had the dove? Well, I guess in OPs case it would be a dead dove every scene.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:26:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

at least you know what a potato is now.

ControlX · 1 points · Posted at 11:27:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should've cut your losses when they asked you if you really didn't know what a potato was by smiling and saying "I'm just messing around". You missed your out man :(

PoeDancer · 1 points · Posted at 11:27:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

BOIL EM MASH EM STICK EM IN A STEW

SmartandJunk · 1 points · Posted at 11:29:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like her dad's name is Hugo

1rez · 1 points · Posted at 11:30:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have no fucking words.

norwegianjon · 1 points · Posted at 11:31:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you German? something tells me that you are german...

SmokeMethInhalesatan · 2 points · Posted at 06:50:40 on February 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

Speak later, love you

totes_meta_bot · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

This thread has been linked to from elsewhere on reddit.

^If ^you ^follow ^any ^of ^the ^above ^links, ^respect ^the ^rules ^of ^reddit ^and ^don't ^vote ^or ^comment. ^Questions? ^Abuse? ^Message ^me ^here.

SyriSolord · 1 points · Posted at 11:32:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIL OP is, in fact, potato.

PM_ME_YOUR_DISCO · 1 points · Posted at 11:33:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is THE stupidest thing I have ever heard. Like... I can't even comprehend why you would do this. Have an upvote.

ev1lpoptart · 1 points · Posted at 11:35:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this, sir, if true, is the greatest single act of comedic genius in your budding career as the next Andy Kaufman.

Cannedbeans · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this post in that fake Swedish accent that Dan Akroyd and Steve Martin used in the 'Two Wild and Crazy Guys' bit.

marioho · 1 points · Posted at 11:36:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Only now I found out this post and I scrolled quickly down to see if someone would have suggested you this

What is your ancestry?

I had a couple Japanese descendants friends and they would occasionally stay for lunch. They would always say 'gohan'instead of rice - though they did know it was called rice

Let me say this clearly, you're fucked. But if you have a nice ancestry lying around I guess you could play that card for a while and hope you get a hotter girlfriend by the time the castle starts crumbling down

jbcarrot · 1 points · Posted at 11:38:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think you left something out. You go from "Tastes strange" to dad flipping shit and telling you to get the fuck out. Over a potato?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:39:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I died reading this. Karl Pilington meets George Costanza.

Crazy_Flex · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is practically a green text story on /b/

DarkXzeon · 1 points · Posted at 11:42:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is one of the best stories i have ever read.

bryycimus · 1 points · Posted at 11:43:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's girlfriend should be happy he doesn't have commitment issues

secretthrowaway2778 · 1 points · Posted at 11:44:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I could be the next elon musk, with how fast my sides went to orbit.

JaseAndrews · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude.

JaseAndrews · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude.

ralexravis · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read this in the voice of Steve Martin from, "two wild and crazy guys".

Oathy- · 1 points · Posted at 11:45:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why did you commit so hard!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Getting some Jonathan Safran Foer vibes from you

A_HumblePotato · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am very ashamed, OP. That potato died for your pleasure, and you don't even acknowledge it's existence. You have put shame upon our race. I pity you.

Hopelesz · 1 points · Posted at 11:50:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow you're an idiot :P. Could you not notice that you're annoying the fk out of them?

playingnice · 1 points · Posted at 11:52:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Best to just explain it was a horrible joke gone horribly wrong and move on. If you try to keep this lie up (assuming you two are still together) it will come back and bite you in the ass when you least expect it.

theonewhoknots · 1 points · Posted at 11:52:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As you are only in your 2nd relationship here is some LPT for ya: Don't ever fuck with in-laws, especially if your SO isn't in on it.

korrigk · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If her parents are going to rage on you for not knowing (or pretending not to know) what a potato is, to the point of telling you to "Get the fuck out of my house" then there is going to be other more real issues down the road.

Treat this as a test, your girlfriend and her parents failed

Tobi_the_Great · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you from Latvia by any chance?

thebest707 · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As opposed to this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMes353uc-Y

Xanza · 1 points · Posted at 11:53:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before.

There are some things you commit to, and some things you don't. Playing dumb in front of a girlfriends parents hoping to impress them with stupidity is not one of the things you should commit to.........

starlitt · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoe patatoe... Guess it does matter😂

raknor88 · 1 points · Posted at 11:54:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're in for the long con now. Strap in and get comfortable.

kateshakes · 1 points · Posted at 11:56:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. Just wow.

Basdad · 1 points · Posted at 11:58:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You could explain it away with the old "potāto, potâto" scenario.

kirby2k07 · 1 points · Posted at 11:59:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm calling bullshit on this sounds eerily like this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNQ9VN705As

AltruisticPenguin · 1 points · Posted at 12:02:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

potato ching chong tomato

kolotureti · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Change potato to Jesus and it make sense :)

ooaueaoeuaoeu · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

a potato is the thing you take pictures with.

everyone asked me what potato i used to take those damn good pics!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:07:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What else are you gonna tell me ?

mideon2000 · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, that really did backfire on you.

Well let me tell you you probably should have backed off when you noticed the bit was going over like a lead balloon.

Well let me tell you you are not in a good position.

Well let me tell you you might want to look for another girl because her dad is always going to dislike you now.

let me tell you....well let me tell you.

mcnuggets43 · 1 points · Posted at 12:16:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Zack is having a hard time getting back in the game, isn't he?

yakri · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have explained how hard it has been immigrating to the USA from Latvia.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can see how the parents construed that as insulting their intelligence and cooking. By the sounds of it you were the disrespectful asshole.

CloudsOfDust · 1 points · Posted at 12:22:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you: backfired on my face.

I'm seriously losing it over here.

wizzygang · 1 points · Posted at 12:24:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you remind me of Daxflame.

Thatotherhippy · 1 points · Posted at 12:24:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatoes? What is this, christmas?

kesuaus · 1 points · Posted at 12:25:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why would you ever try to pull a shit like that??? I don't get you up but please keep us updated.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 12:26:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

op you remind me of daxflame

jrumpy1 · 1 points · Posted at 12:28:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This reads like it was written by one of these guys:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2K6BW_dovY

dogfunky · 1 points · Posted at 12:31:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you're that committed to a joke, you must really be committed to your relationship

dorkquemada · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're fully committed to this joke as well?

gowronatemybaby7 · 1 points · Posted at 12:38:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you, I think you've made a big mistake.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:39:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this in Daniel Simonsen's voice.

d0mth0ma5 · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

That's the point where you should have said it tastes great and moved on.

tigerstyle65 · 1 points · Posted at 12:44:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude if there that mad about a joke they simply suck at life

HomeBrewTalk · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Life lesson learned...

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

God this is a mother among fuckups lmfao

tydublies · 1 points · Posted at 12:48:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The wording and grammar of this story is the best part. Hilarious

ob-noxious · 1 points · Posted at 12:48:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So what the fuck is a potato?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:50:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Went in trying to get known as the funny guy. Came out as that guy who lies about dumb shit.

ihrtboobies · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This can't be real... There's no way...

Kaigamer · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So wait.. does this mean you've never eaten potatoes, or french fries around her ever? And if she breaks up with you over a joke gone wrong.. well, then the relationship was bound to fail. Plus her parents sound like dicks

Megneous · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.

Lmao. My autistic comrade. I too read to try that in a book. I decided it was not a good idea.

ZannityZan · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just... I'm at a loss for words. I just cannot comprehend why you would do this in the first place, and then, on top of that, STICK with it when they obviously didn't find it funny. Surely it would have been better to admit it was a bad joke and be done with the matter than to risk your relationship and her parents' perception of you further by continuing to dick around?

Mavis9i · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you are so fucked up ... pro tip: don't do that again!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:52:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did you touch the potato and play with it a little before you were kicked out?

Killabyte5 · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm going through some shit right now, but this made me laugh really hard. Thank you for that, I needed it.

Killabyte5 · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm going through some shit right now, but this made me laugh really hard. Thank you for that, I needed it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You, are an idiot.

Biermoese · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before.

That's when I lost it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I feel bad. Bad choice of joke, man.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:54:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We'll let me tell you this is a good opportunity to let me tell you your girlfriend and her parents well let me tell you that you were just taking the well let me tell you the piss out of them.

Seriously.

Thebanks1 · 1 points · Posted at 12:55:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh the Irish...

SlouchyGuy · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

For the future: it you make jokes, be ready to be ashamed, be ready to admit that you joked, be ready to admit that joke wasn't that amusing to people. False pride often looks worse for other people. And good luck with your girlfriend whoever she might be :)

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh hey another novel

GeneralMalaiseRB · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

tl;dr

Let me tell you
(who let me tell you)
I should tell you
Well let me tell you:
Well let me tell you
Well let me tell you
Well let me tell you

OrangeAdventure · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most autistic thing I've ever read in my life.

MyGFfartsInHerSleep · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you...

dpgaspard · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everyone is giving you hell. I thought it was funny. I think the family is to blame for getting angry at you. Potatoes shouldn't make people angry. You probably don't want to have to deal with their shit in the future anyways. Cheers!

britchesss · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hope you mispronounced potato every time you said it.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:56:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is hands down the best TIFU

ChiefRippingBong · 1 points · Posted at 12:57:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like a gift basket of assorted tubers would be the best way to handle this one

Mmbopbopbopbop · 1 points · Posted at 12:57:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they were Irish/Eastern European/Russian, and you totally insulted them with potato ignorance

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:58:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have flip-flopped several times on whether you should come clean or stay committed. What it comes down to is how you want to be remembered by these people, because your relationship is unsalvageable at this point. You can be the guy who lied about not knowing what potatoes are or you can be the guy who did not know what potatoes are...

NEVER CONFESS!

imanassho · 1 points · Posted at 12:59:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is fucking great

blackblots-rorschach · 1 points · Posted at 12:59:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm hoping you're not Irish....

sbrelvi · 1 points · Posted at 12:59:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Congrats OP. You fucked up but in the most glorious way possible.

endruxkembri · 1 points · Posted at 12:59:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c

Are you this guy?

wharpudding · 1 points · Posted at 13:54:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No. He's this guy.

bg0nzales · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TL;DR

hazmatte · 1 points · Posted at 13:00:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was waiting for a Loch Ness monster or Fresh Prince ending...or something to indicate that OP really didn't do something so completely, terribly stupid.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:01:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP should probably start looking for his 3rd girlfriend.

kareemjf · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really feel sorry for your situation but I am sure there's a solution to this.

chestnutseer · 1 points · Posted at 13:02:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest thing I've read all year. Good luck, OP.

slashduel · 1 points · Posted at 13:03:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't even make it to the front page, let alone get a post with over 50 karma. And this guy posts about a potato and it gets to the front page? Why am I even mad right now? Fuck my life.

installerorc · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

yeah everything in TIFU is a lie nowadays but the creative people are all in nosleep

Archive_of_Madness · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Eh not all of them, there's also some decently creative folks over in /r/writingprompts too.

misterpapagiorgio13 · 1 points · Posted at 13:04:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You'd be a better story teller if you didn't say "let me tell you" more than once.

FlyingScotsmann · 1 points · Posted at 13:08:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Struggled to see past the numerous "let me tell you"s and "I'll tell you". "Very aghast" was a struggle too.

rjoseba · 1 points · Posted at 13:10:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You might actually have a potato up there my friend

Unabomber007 · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was in Navy bootcamp with a guy who did the same thing, but in real life, with rice. He literally had never seen or eaten it before and he was at least 18. There were like 50 dudes facepalming before facepalming was cool. How do you live like 18 years without seeing/eating rice?

Mozen · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was written with such strange use of language.

Taleya · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have an AAAH! moment and realise it's something you've eaten just not baked.

jimcornetto · 1 points · Posted at 13:12:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But why?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Fuck it, worth the story"

-Conkycares '97

doginpants · 1 points · Posted at 13:14:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You , you is a potato.

HamieJob · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Something I've learned after 5 years with my girlfriend is to never lie. Even if it's the stupidest shit, don't lie. You're just going to dig yourself a hole. Good luck buddy but it'll eventually come out and you'll be the jackass they joke about.

kurtcobain94 · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The best TIFUs are the ones where the titles seem completely harmless

smalley88 · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i had to google potatoes to know what this was about

opmandrake · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I imagined your story as being read by Alex deLarge from Clockwork Orange, thanks for the laughs!

BigAntsAreSmall · 1 points · Posted at 13:17:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Good luck with your 3rd girlfriend of all time!

tron_fucking_harkin · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I once made one of those old guys handing out free samples really fucking mad by pretending i couldnt read and i was ashamed. i only did it because he was an asshole when i asked what the free sample was and he said "read the sign." so i just said, "im illiterate" back and forth until he starts yelling and i walk away

lulren · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All my laughs just went out the window. Thank you.

der_konig · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You, sir, are a fucking potato.

oldschoolpong · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should ask your girlfriend if a potato is a camera.

When she says "What??" you should say that you've been seeing references to it in the comment section of youtube videos.

Coxville · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm gonna be honest, if I was the dad I probably would have been laughing my ass off. Even if I did believe that you had never eaten a potato I would keep you around cause that's a fucking anomaly. I'd start feeding you potato dishes left and right and getting some opinions on the dishes.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

just play it off...something like "oh, you said potato! I thought you said "gotato" or something....

load231 · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is hilarious.

whatutterjapes · 1 points · Posted at 13:19:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you are amazing and I would have you round for mystery food any day.

Her parents are clearly a bit weird, I mean joking or not why react in that way? In any case i rate this potato/10 would potato again

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:20:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your girlfriend's family might have potato-humor.

ofcoursemyhorse · 1 points · Posted at 13:20:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing her parents didn't find your humour very a-peeling.

PT_C · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's a wonder your comedy hasn't swept the world

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't need to see you to know you're the whitest motherfucker in the world.

banpepper · 1 points · Posted at 13:21:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just potatoed so hard.

NoLaNaDeR · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Autismo Gran Tourismo

lessmiserables · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

At this point, you should act like potatoes are some highly illegal narcotic.

"So, uh, Mr, Smith, about those potatoes...I have a...friend...who would like some more. Do you know a guy? I can pay."

TX727 · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stand your ground!! Funny as hell now.

the_timmer_42 · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Po-ta-toes!

mookiexmac · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, it's their loss, if they can't accept you for you. You sound like a total spud.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point.

is the best TIFU sentence I've ever read.

nerdychick19 · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hope I'm not too late but I think OP should live edit this, to take our minds off Jenny and Zack. We wanna know what happens to you, your girlfriend and of course her parents. :)

BlackHoleBellybutton · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is relevant,somehow.

http://youtu.be/QiqqC_fbP1c

i_pk_pjers_i · 1 points · Posted at 13:23:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She's going to break up with you because you don't know what a potato is?

Good god, you're so much better off without her.

softwaredev · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Shit, how do we know you are not making this up?

americanhardgums · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now i'm no comedian, but i think you made the mistake of going too far.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:24:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I imagined op as Borat.

kimchi_jjigae · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Everybody knows you never go full retard. You went full retard man. Never go full retard.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Someone whose parents act like this for something so silly is bound to have issues that are not fun to have to deal with. Run, OP, run.

Tyalou · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You could also tell them that you are this one guy who got 10,000+ $ for making a potatoes salad on Kickstarter and you have yet to find the kind of potatoes worth this much making you rethink what a potato was.

Unruly_Taco · 1 points · Posted at 13:25:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, are you Ahmed Angel? Because that's who I envision when I read this...

TominatorXX · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're an idiot. Just tell them it was an experiment and of course you know what a potato is.

young-prof-pyromania · 1 points · Posted at 13:26:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

FUOTW?

cascadecombo · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, you fucked up by continueing with a lie they knew was a lie

no you look like a guy who is too spineless to admit when he made a mistake.

You showed awful judgement and i dont blame the father for not wanting his daughter with some kinda idiot like you showed yourself t obe

opposablethumbz · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JYRAOR1tPVY Just watch, then you will understand.

hallajs · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, I am glad OP told me

SilencersAreLegal · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fake but a good story bro

yourgrandmascat · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

oh zack.. you know damn well what a potato is. dont mess this up with jenny again

couragewillow · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

I'm trying to figure out which accent to read this in...borat? Apu? Ive landed on balki bartokomous

just4thismovie · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It may go better if you said delicious instead of strange maybe not

Vaeon · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When you decide to go Andy Kaufman you have no choice but to commit to it.

starlinguk · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My in laws would know exactly what you're up to and retaliate. Watch your back.

saltesc · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Had no idea what a parsnip was until around 29.

Some weird fucking delicious aniseed vegetable came with my roast and I couldn't tell if it was a type of pumpkin or potato. Was informed it was parsnip. Had never heard of and had never had it before. I now get it all the time. So good with roast!

shoesaewesanaym · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can you milk me, Greg?

Awkward_Wizard · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read this in John Mulaney's voice honestly.

baconandeggsandbacon · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Real or not, by God I laughed my balls off.

hoochiscrazy_ · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking hillarious. Thank you

34859325105769352718 · 1 points · Posted at 13:29:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm imagining you at the "tastes very strange!" Part with the weirdest high pitched voice. Idk why

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can imagine him saying it like Edith Bunker. From all in the family

Dragon911X · 1 points · Posted at 13:30:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would have just said "yeah I'm kidding" when they asked if you were serious.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:32:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should have a potato campaign on kickstarter. It would probably make 6000 dollars.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 13:32:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

fuotw?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

time to go on the offensive.

break up with her over the way her parents treated you.

she will be BEGGING you to stay.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

better luck with your next girlfriend...if you ever get one. here's a hint for you...try sincerity because your sense of humor is just stupid. call the father an apologize...remember...sincerity...take your lumps...explain it as being nervous and not knowing when to shut a moronic joke down.

knockemstiff · 1 points · Posted at 13:33:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have NEVER really liked a TIFU post... until NOW! This is great

msctex · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Oh, a po-TAH-to!"

uguysmakemesick · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is hilarious.

I_ATE_THE_WORM · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was pretty stupid to have run as long as you did. Well done penguin.

superfrazz · 1 points · Posted at 13:34:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why do you talk like you're from victorian england?

electrophile91 · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Biggest load of shit I've read.

OneOfFail · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did it tasted good?

coach_mcgirk · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato? No sir, I don't like it.

Stuck_in_a_depo · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why did I read this in Yakav Smirnov's voice?

ReihEhcsaSlaSthcin · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you this was a very amusing story. I'll tell you that you did mess up, but in a funny way. And boy, let me tell you, it really escalated for you. Well let me tell you, everything should be okay in the future and let me tell you you at least have a funny story now so let me tell you let me tell you let me tell you let me tell you let me tell you

xenothaulus · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You dumb fuck.

Macman13 · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Call her a week later and say: "After my family meeting, we have come to the conclusion that the "potatoes" that you were referring to are actually taters. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

DONT_PM_SHIT · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why In for a penny in for a pound.

oh_no_a_hobo · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read all his quotations in Cartman's voice.

SuPeRbRiZ · 1 points · Posted at 13:37:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All I could think of the entire time I was reading this was, "WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING BROTHER!"

Ferfrendongles · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You use adjectives a lot, and it makes people incredulous, taken aback, skeptical, suspicious, about whether this story is true, and when they realize it isn't, they're let down, disappointed, mildly upset, judgmental.

BlackHeart89 · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP...

Just tell them that you never went to dinner with them and that it was probably your evil twin fucking with people again.

dude_calmdown · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's a potatoe head !

aseycay4815162342 · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What an absolutely perfect way to begin my day, reading this. I have tears streaming down my face. Thank you, OP

barefootinalong7 · 1 points · Posted at 13:39:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you, you need to cut back on using the term well let me tell you

Bradaz · 1 points · Posted at 13:39:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You donut.

ScroogeMcDuckII · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It'll be okay tomorrow morning

nowaythisisdan · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you gotta commit man.

Jiltedjohn · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you now is not the time for turning back. Expand your repertoire to ignorance on other products for example when you next meet the parents casually bring up that you came across an exotic food whose name also describes it's color & make sure you mispronounce as "Arannnngeeeee".

Itch_the_ditch · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This can easily as awkward as 4chan green text stories. Just the "fuck it, I'll go full retard and see where this takes me" is amazing.

Lugnut2683 · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

EDIT: I started to write this long clever response then realized... Who the fuck cares. I would've shoved that potato up your ass if I was your girlfriend's father.

iJacksparrow · 1 points · Posted at 13:41:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Well let me tell you"

Silntdoogood · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I tell you whau't!

Edit: formatting

theOTHERdimension · 1 points · Posted at 13:42:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jesus Christ

majorthrownaway · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What country are you from?

Fizzay · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I imagined the dad as Red from That 70s Show...

im_working_ · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point. When I would not admit to knowing what a potato was, the father especially began to get annoyed. At one point he said something like "Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it."

That was the moment to make one last small joke, and then say you were joking the whole time and compliment the cooking again. Just so you know. for the future.

1406dude · 1 points · Posted at 13:43:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, is potato is a starchy, tuberous crop from the perennial nightshade Solanum tuberosum L. The word "potato" may refer either to the plant itself or the edible tuber. In the Andes, where the species is indigenous, there are some other closely related cultivated potato species.

Raghammed · 1 points · Posted at 13:44:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Do you mean to tell me that a potato is something other than the poor quality rating of a picture taken with a camera?

schmer · 1 points · Posted at 13:44:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them in your family everyone calls them "taters" and you never had them baked so you didnt know it was the same thing.

Argit · 1 points · Posted at 13:44:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would love to see the thought process that led up to you believing this would be a good joke.

wharpudding · 2 points · Posted at 13:45:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Those suckers will upvote anything!"

Argit · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If it made me laugh, I don't give a shit if it's real or not.

Cookgoo · 1 points · Posted at 13:44:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell em you thought they only existed in LOTR universe

akimbocorndogs · 1 points · Posted at 13:45:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

is no potato. is only hallucination from malnourish. all is sad in Latvia.

MrJeef · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP better hope that nobody the parents tell the crazy story to are redditors or his cover is blown.

Tony_Killfigure · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fake some sort of recent head trauma and lay down a solid guilt trip on your GF's dad.

sbanaynays · 1 points · Posted at 13:46:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is wildly out of control. Oh my god why.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So, I've got this joke. Shit! Everyone's getting angry. Commit to the joke! Commit harder.

TheSpYro · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they're Irish.

charlieruskiy · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the same guy who wrote this. Neither can be true...

mitchgg · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read this TIFU thinking of it being narrated by this voice: http://youtu.be/QiqqC_fbP1c

n1njabot · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You sir, are not a smart man. Never, ever, ever, fuck with potential in-laws they can make your life a living hell.

apeinthecity · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok here is the deal, next time you see them say "OH YOU MEANT (insert opposite pronunciation of potato here)! I'd never heard it pronounced that way before".

Sexy_Stinga · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read this with Borat voice. It works.

ManhandsMalone · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your choice of diction is weird.

apdoul1221 · 1 points · Posted at 13:48:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like some stupid thing I would do, good luck bro, commit bro take it to your grave!

cincyjoe12 · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Trust me, you dodged a bullet.

drdanieldoom · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The asperger's drips from you.

ownthehobo · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the hell did I just read?

Feudality · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's Taters, precious?

Spartickus · 1 points · Posted at 13:49:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This post is golden boys, IT'S F'IN GOLDEN!

Nesano · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Didn't even start reading, but that title's upvoteworthy alone.

Whoa, whoa, chill bro, I'll let you tell me. I don't want no trouble.

Oh my god. This kind of shit is why I'm subscribed to this subreddit.

FriendlyPerv · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell your gf I know what a potato is!

IAMENTERTAINED · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Looks delicious!" wasnt good enough for you?

HornyBirdBath · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This reads like a French seagull wrote it

NeilParmesan · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You can milk anything with nipples

podprobleme · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

when will we learn the lesson of potato?

LucasBazookas · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP from Latvia. Potato too precious for common dinner.

donutsandpizza · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.

Famous last words

nanogoose · 1 points · Posted at 13:51:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jesus Christ, you're an idiot, OP.

Eadilin · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Halfway through this you should have started up with the nervous twitch, and speaking to your giant invisible pet rabbit. And throw in a Spock single raised eyebrow. And since you totally embarrassed the dad by getting him really pissed, you can forget that second girlfriend.

Toaster-Peanut · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't see that as a good reason to kick someone out of your house lol

xproofx · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't get it. What's a potato?

NSRedditor · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/2tei8k/im_as_confused_as_gandlaf/

mannyrmz123 · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Immediately CTRL+F'd the word 'Latvia' and upvoted every single comment with it.

ky2230 · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When her parents come over for dinner, serve them nothing but several courses of potato dishes. Tell them that it took some time to aquire the taste, but now all you can eat is potato. Then mock them for not basing every meal around a potato.

miniman4 · 1 points · Posted at 13:53:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does anyone else find it really weird that people would get so mad that someone was joking about not knowing what a potato is?

vanilla_perfume · 1 points · Posted at 13:53:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Haven't you ever had any kind of potatoes with your girlfriend? How long have you been dating?

Giddawid_TPMB · 1 points · Posted at 13:53:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Were you baked/mashed at the time?

tallsuperman · 1 points · Posted at 13:53:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, break up with her first and tell her it's incredibly rude to make fun not knowing what a potato is.

fornitsomefornus · 1 points · Posted at 13:53:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are the poster child for TIFU

crowscountingspades · 1 points · Posted at 13:54:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What are you, like 12 years old? Seriously...how old are you?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:54:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so dumb. I would break up with you, dumb.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes, this totally happened, for sure

vivaoink · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm dying this is so funny!! Thanks for making my morning

OktoberStorm · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Wow dude, you have a pretty impressive set of decision skills.

Edit: Now I've read the whole thing. What you've done here is a fucking crime worth of jail time. You can't go around telling people you don't know what a potato is! And while I understand that you're in an insane predicament you have to come out and tell them your sense of humor is completely broken. At least you stood by your psychotic notion of fun, but there's no point in defending this any longer.

Is this for real?

FragGrenade · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't think shell break up with you, cause its clear you have 0 commitment issues.

Holy shit that is hilarious

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:55:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're the real MVP

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow, sticking to the idiocy. You don't just dip a toe in, you jump in naked, in the middle of winter.

crystalistwo · 1 points · Posted at 13:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Couple thoughts.

Having a girlfriend gets awesome starting with the third one anyway.

Also, you should have said that the potato, in a way, reminded you of french fries.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some (´･ω･`) shit right here

SavageL · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry but this is just horribly cringe-worthy, I had to skim this because I fear if I read the whole thing I would die from an overload of cringe

rownak3000 · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But let me tell you i should tell you have i told you let me tell you

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:58:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't even care if this is fake, the fact that you came up with this in your own head is embarrassing in itself

tkavanagh22 · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you're a full blown autist...

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you went full retard. never go full retard.

Darktidemage · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just go tell the dad you banged his daughter.

ErlendJ · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dear OP, this may be some of the worst things I've had the experience to read, coming from a 4chan oldfag. :/

I feel sorry for you though, is there any way you could try fixing this?

mannyrmz123 · 1 points · Posted at 13:59:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You actually deserve to be broken up.

You made the man of the house feel like shit. Probably he thought you implied that potatoes are a poor food, that you only eat Rib-Eye and beyond.

"Well let me tell you he didn't take that kindly." You were being a dick in all honesty.

Dworm_ · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you preferred to be remembered as a fucking retarded instead of a guy who did a bad joke...

You must be really stupid, also to think there was anything fun about not knowing a potato, God...

rumplefourskin · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think those parents are stuck up , who wouldn't be able to tell that you're joking? Your girlfriend was raised without humor is what it seems like. Idk why they would get so mad about that , it's not like you insulted them or took a shit in the sink, you just made a joke. I don't think this is a fuck up this is a good thing, stay far away from that girl and her family.

n813 · 1 points · Posted at 14:00:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now we know why you've only ever had two girlfriends.

nate7181 · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In Idaho this is a huge insult.

MattMichel · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is priceless! But what you should really do is sit them down and admit that it was a bad joke, and the reason you initially decided to stick to it was because it was very important to you to make a good impression and you totally fucked up because you were anxious off the chart. I think anybody would sympathize.

Zelniq · 1 points · Posted at 14:01:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's not believable to have never heard of a potato though. You should have said that you've heard of them but actually never tried them. Well actually you should never have told them at all, but this is a big t more believable.

molby9 · 1 points · Posted at 14:04:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you that this is fabrication, which is even more embarrassing.

Holy__cow · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This needs to be an Adam Sandler film.

UhOhFeministOnReddit · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just really felt the need to link this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrQVFZx7XX4

opeymopey · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read the whole thing without the word "a" before the word "potato". Made an already funny story 10 times funnier.

Sorry for your future lack of girlfriend...

Dessomnia · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You dont know what a potato is? You must be a member of the pc master race.

kanyes_god_complex · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kevin?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was quite possibly the most ridiculous potential break-up i've ever heard.

Malak77 · 1 points · Posted at 14:07:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

French Fries - that's when you fry up some french people, right?

pk3maross · 1 points · Posted at 14:07:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did this in my 7th grade geography class. I jokingly said ive never learned about the holocaust and my teacher thought I was serious. So gave a lengthy discussion about the holocaust.

Neveragon · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them you're Latvian.

Farmertingz · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My life is potato

SheHasNoName · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Overreaction on their part. Lame joke on your part.

stevyjohny · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

that is some serious commitment. I applaud you. You have already committed. At this point, I think she will be more angry if you admit it was a joke than if she just thinks you're an idiot for not knowing what a potato is (everyone has their quirks). Just stay the course. It will all work itself out.

SnakeAColdCruiser · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

AS A GOOF.

waifsandmendicants · 1 points · Posted at 14:09:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you Holden Caulfield?

designstudiomodern · 1 points · Posted at 14:09:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Andy Kaufman? Is that you?

Yozki · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure it's fake but I'm still laughing loudly.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Surely someone else thinks the father overreacted here? If my daughter brought a guy home who didn't know what potatoes were I'd think he was wrong in the head but I wouldn't tell him to get the fuck out of my house.

thelowend6 · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Aaah! pot-AH-to! That's what you meant!

TMadd8 · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you

Fender6969 · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow that's wildly irrational. I'm not understanding why he would kick you out for that. If I served someone a dish they haven't eaten before, I would be honored to do so and said anxiously for their reaction.

Tsuketsu · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

All I could think of, the entire time, was this meme: http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/126583-ill-take-a-potato-chip-and-eat-it

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

are you holden caulfield?

anon-38ujrkel · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, that's a weird story!

Totsean · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You dun goofed, son.

G_T_I · 1 points · Posted at 14:12:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mfw http://i.imgur.com/CwepwIF.jpg

CaptainAwesome06 · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's a difference between a joke and straight up being weird. Jokes shouldn't last more than a minute. You tell a joke and then you don't dwell on it. Especially don't dwell on your own jokes. This is how you make a good impression.

KjoeLjan · 1 points · Posted at 14:13:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So I knew I would be very shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted if I admitted to making a bad joke, so what I did was to act as if it was not a joke but I committed

Parents have parents as well. They know it's hard to meet parents in law and make a good impression. If at this moment you'd explained yourself, they might've found you a bit weird (which you fix could later), but it would've saved you a lot of trouble.

handtohandwombat · 1 points · Posted at 14:14:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seriously how is everyone not asking what this kid's deal is?! He writes like a middle eastern Charlie from Flowers for Algernon. By the 4th "let me tell you" I was so uncomfortable and agitated I couldn't enjoy the story. But that may be saying more about me than OP.

MontyG58 · 1 points · Posted at 14:14:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Serious question OP, are you autistic?

I_HATE_GOLD_ · 1 points · Posted at 14:16:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What are you doing

offpeakquestion · 1 points · Posted at 14:16:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most ridiculous post ever. Don't worry though dude some people just take time to understand relationships - a slow cook rather than a instant fry up. You fall in the slow cook category just like I do.

wadofglue · 1 points · Posted at 14:18:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

laughing out loud at work. love it

thedude213 · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, you deserve some kind of trophy, or badge. This is hands down my most favorite tifu story yet.

UTLRev1312 · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i'm sorry that you'll probably end up single soon, but if it's any consolation, you've made an internet stranger laugh like a maniac. the fact you committed, didn't "break character," and it was all over something so dumb and random, truly makes this an amazing story. andy kaufman would be proud of you.

cruxfire · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fucking Autist Prime over here

ensignlee · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In what world did you think this would end well? lol

Well, you done fucked up. And that's what this sub is for. Kudos, have an upvote.

You may never have your gf's parents' approval, but you will have that sweet sweet karma.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's why jokes have punch lines, because otherwise you get punched.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This could end up being the best wedding story EVER. Don't lose hope OP. Tell them what you just told us and you'll be golden.

yggdrasiliv · 1 points · Posted at 14:20:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's like if the socially awkward penguin meme was somehow distilled into purely text form. Seriously how stupid do you have to be to do this?

Seriously, you're a complete god damn moron.

Pyroprotector · 1 points · Posted at 14:21:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I...why, OP, WHY

NSFWIssue · 1 points · Posted at 14:22:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Idk if those people are really so angry about your potato ignorance, maybe you dodged a bullet here. Like who the fuck yells about that shit?

AIDS4U · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You write like an autist.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude don't worry.. This is fricken hilarious and something to look back on down the road :) I've had a lot of "interesting" or "awkward" situations with girlfriends parents on numerous occasions and it's just something that happens if your a male!

cookingking · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Send them a Mr Potato Head and admit you were trying to be funny. But I know they didn't like your humor and will never like you, sorry. I know you are a nice person, but I'd call it quits with the girl. Why get involved with someone whose family can't take a weird joke?

Jay1013 · 1 points · Posted at 14:28:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2r8xh7/tifu_by_giving_my_baby_nephew_a_nickname/

Reminds me of this.

threestardot · 1 points · Posted at 14:28:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't believe this. Mostly because the girlfriends response made even less sense than the parents.

hopscotchking · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

but how do you potato?

Lv16 · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I got autistic cancer just reading this

Spork-in-Your-Rye · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so bizarre it could be an episode of Always Sunny. I found this quite hilarious picturing Charlie doing this.

Edit: I would advise going over there, apologizing and telling the dad you were just fucking around. Have a laugh about it and say you were just trying to break the ice. It should work.

RoyalOcean · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is absolute GOLD. Please tell me either you or her family are Irish.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 14:30:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i got autistic cancer just reading this

PandaBearShenyu · 1 points · Posted at 14:31:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them you're from Latvia, they'll understand.

Macksss · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

legend.

tappy4 · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was the greatest bit of all time! Andy Kaufman would be so proud. I lost my shit and am jealous of your genius.

geewhillikers7 · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh dear god this is one of the most glorious fuck-ups I've ever read. Most of these damn stories are too elaborate to believe, but this is way too legit.

SpeedyVT · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would've said, "Boil it mash it stick it in a stew!".

buddha_knows_best · 1 points · Posted at 14:32:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am sitting at work and laughing like an idiot! hope I dont post a tifu and got fired!!

fuzmorten · 1 points · Posted at 14:33:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are smart like a brick...a very big hoax for you ESL class or just plain stupid

Catch11 · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this has to be fake...

level1-2 · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it is real. I've been in similar situatuons.

yonkerz · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Blame it on Ambien.

SeditiousAngels · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So when the potato became on my plate

I became single

gingerbredman88 · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, you should've just admitted to the terrible joke...

rustyfarian · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is amazing

stay_strng · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The autism is strong with this one

Planner_Hammish · 1 points · Posted at 14:37:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"What? A potato is food? I thought it was a type of camera!"

mrhighspeed · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm absolutely doing this to my gf's family

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like you dodged a bullet.

geekolojust · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

False, you've seen Toy Story. "That's Mr. Potato Head to you."

Smekiz · 1 points · Posted at 14:38:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. The autism is fucking real. I salute you.

funky_shmoo · 1 points · Posted at 14:39:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Although it's not exactly the same thing, I used to engage in similar willful ignorance with my father. I live in New York and 15 years ago or so my father moved to Delaware. He was always eager to illustrate how life in Delaware was "better" than New York. One item he always used to support this viewpoint was the relative price on gasoline, which is always substantially less expensive in Delaware. Anyway, after hearing how gasoline is so much cheaper in Delaware fifty times over the course of a few years, I decided I'd had it. So the next time he brought it up, knowing full well it was true, I vehemently denied gasoline was cheaper in Delaware and accused my father of making it up. He argued this point with me for at least fifteen minutes, and grew increasingly annoyed I wasn't agreeing with him. Needless to say, he never brought up the topic again. Good riddance!

ignorantlout · 1 points · Posted at 14:39:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I applaud your commitment. The moment the father started yelling at me, I'd have been laughing until my sides hurt and I had tears. Probably would've gotten beaten to a bloody paste too.

penis_length_nipples · 1 points · Posted at 14:39:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No girlfriend. Was hallucinate. Such is life.

therealflinchy · 1 points · Posted at 14:39:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

it sounds like maybe it appeared even more differently than you're describing

which is weird enough.

homoludens · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why everyone assumes that he messed up? I think it was great and funny joke and that her parents are wrong for being angry.

They should apologize to him as far as I'm concerned.

OP thank you for great story! I'm even thinking to try it out on next dinner visit.

lord_fairfax · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nothing is fucked, dude.

DarthOfTheDead · 1 points · Posted at 14:40:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy shit. I couldn't even read this all the way through. I never want you to tell me anything. Why is every other line,"let me tell you,"? So fucking stupid.

rustybaker28 · 1 points · Posted at 14:41:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

haha, what the fuck is wrong with you?

aawebber · 1 points · Posted at 14:42:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If this is made up, I ain't even mad

Pizzaguyj · 1 points · Posted at 14:42:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like something George Costanza would do.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 14:47:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Jerry kinda did it with the ponies...

Pizzaguyj · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

George did it with the house in the Hamptons.

Desiqnnn · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you should of said when you were younger your mother must of called it something else to get you to eat them, but they were never made the way you saw it that day. You saw (whatever your mother called it when you were younger) as an ingredient and not something you eat straight off the bat.

TSAforlife · 1 points · Posted at 14:52:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

should of

lifeoutofbalance · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If that's the parents reaction, I could only imagine how their daughter would be. I say you should just break up.

DevinB40 · 1 points · Posted at 14:43:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry but when I read this I imagine that you are 13 or 14? This sounds like something a 14 year old would do.

MDNzyzy · 1 points · Posted at 14:44:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

were they irish? you shouldn't make fun of potatoes in front of irish people since its like their food jesus

Dustinj1991 · 1 points · Posted at 14:45:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I let you tell me

devynsutton · 1 points · Posted at 14:45:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Awesome... You've provided me with much inspiration! hahaha

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would have guessed her parents were Irish, with the potato famine and all....

pvtsn0ballz · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank you for making me lose it in front of my classroom. 10/10 would potato again

PCCP82 · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you are a fucking toolbox. please die in a fire.

LockeNCole · 2 points · Posted at 14:53:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You realize a good, modern toolbox would not only NOT die in a fire, but it would also protect everything is contains, right?

PCCP82 · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

cool. go fuck yourself.

AlexatRF21 · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

On a level of one to Chris Brown, how mad are you?

PCCP82 · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

im not mad. just internet dweebs need to hear how terrible they are.

because they are terrible.

deegooo · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best thing I've read in a very long time.

soadzombi · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like something George Costanza would do.

AsymmetricDizzy · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Amazing. Fuck all these people whining about how autistic they think you are. This is my new favorite tifu and I want a dramatic reading of it immediately.

bluestocking355 · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's okay OP, I'll be your new girlfriend. I have a weird sense of humor and thought this was hilarious.

GRAVITYCLOUDFilms · 1 points · Posted at 14:47:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has got to be one of the weirdest things I've ever read in this subreddit.

Groincobbler · 1 points · Posted at 14:49:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never double down on something like this. It's always a bad idea.

KerzenscheinShineOn · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Its an Irish family wasn't it?

lostdeceiver · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I needed to piss myself laughing today. Thanks.

TheVoiceOfRiesen · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A for effort, kid.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:51:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should of said in my country they are called podadas

PoachTWC · 1 points · Posted at 14:52:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

In my life I have never even comprehended such a line of humour. Who actually, rationally thinks, "I shall pretend to not know of potatoes"? Possibly the most unique TIFU I've ever read, and well deserving of the gold: this was awesome.

turnipforyou · 1 points · Posted at 14:52:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

often when my friends are extremely surprised that I have never tried something, it's because we're from different cultures. I don't know if you could have used that in your case.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

its an irish family wasn't it?

nikkuK · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell them you were confused between potatoes and potatoes. You knew what potatoes were but you hadn't heard of potatoes before, I mean, who pronounces potatoes as potatoes? Really, it's all their fault.

Justhatemycomments · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man, bring a red one, and ask if they are the same as a ground Apple. Pomme de Terre is French for potato, and translates to Apple of the ground. Done, your father now needs to learn French and commit fully to it.

Tightpenguinabs · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

And how old are you...?

FlyingTrolls · 1 points · Posted at 14:54:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know Po-ta-toes!...Precious

MoparMogul · 1 points · Posted at 14:55:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh my...

Pack it up guys, it's over. This is the cringiest fuckup that will ever be.

curry_in_a_hurry · 1 points · Posted at 14:56:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude im laughing like crazy in class

ACtuallyaWizerd · 1 points · Posted at 14:57:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Funny tifu ever. I wish nothing more than to have been able to watch this transpire but feel fortunate that I at least got this post.

sn3eky · 1 points · Posted at 14:57:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't believe you.

bcb77 · 1 points · Posted at 14:57:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is like an Andy Kaufman bit. You should have just admitted to it right away, they may have chuckled or just thought you were a little odd.

LaconianStrategos · 1 points · Posted at 14:58:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That time when you were as awkward as a creature that had lived by itself for several hundred years, in the dark, eating raw fish for every meal.

gyerelufy · 1 points · Posted at 14:58:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's funny because potato

leersobie · 1 points · Posted at 14:58:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How old are you?

punisheddaisies · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this entire FU in John Mulaney's voice.

Punkeec · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well maybe if you said you're from Latvia, it would explain why you never heard of a potato.

Are_We_Me · 1 points · Posted at 15:00:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Once I randomly walked into the kitchen of an ex's house and told her mom "I like peanut butter!" then stood there quietly. She thought I was mentally handicapped for some time after that.

August12th · 1 points · Posted at 15:01:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

its not a lie if you believe its true

cubiclejockey · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op, where is your accent from? Sweden?

john_stuart_kill · 1 points · Posted at 15:02:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't understand...Am I somehow not letting this guy tell me something?

Dishevel · 1 points · Posted at 15:03:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Today you fucked up by not following the first rule of holes.

sYnFamous_ · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

have you ever people before

TroaAxaltion · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. What a joke gone awry. lol

purplepippin · 1 points · Posted at 15:05:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You, my friend, are an idiot.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:05:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yea they know you know what a potato is, they are upset because of your crazy attachment to a joke that isn't funny.

However this is one hell of a story so I guess it was worth it.

Chedder_456 · 1 points · Posted at 15:06:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

7/10 made me mad. What the fuck is wrong with you?

powersje1 · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I couldn't follow this story since the phrase "let me tell you" was sprinkled in almost every sentence.

neonsaber · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you....

That this was the dumbest TIFU I have read, probably ever. Maybe in a good way? I don't know how to feel about this...

penguinoid · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Once they believed you were serious they only had two choices:

Get unreasonably angry
Diffuse the situation. They could be Samwise to your gollum. http://youtu.be/qrQVFZx7XX4

lipplog · 1 points · Posted at 15:07:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This... is... FANTASTIC! Like one of those nightmares where you wake up and sigh with relief that that it was just a dream.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:08:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP tell them you're from Latvia.

obscenekinesics · 1 points · Posted at 15:08:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're silly op, should have immediately admitted to joking...

ugandanigga · 1 points · Posted at 15:08:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did they at least let you finish?

I cried tears on a bus. I'd say it was worth it.

WellWhaleWales · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP you magnificent ~~bastard~~ retard.

That was so stupid it sounded real.

pilotui · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You NEVER go FULL retard!

bert4560 · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You potatoe.

AdamantiumLaced · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a great story.

djplayboy · 1 points · Posted at 15:10:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Brilliant

freedom_of_the_mind · 1 points · Posted at 15:10:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I could only imagine the "high pitched noise" upon first tasting the potato as that skeksy from the dark crystal.

You-Wut-M8 · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You don't know what a potato is? Well fuck you then.

Conjugative_Pili · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man up and admit it was a bad joke you daft cunt.

Phreakiture · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah, okay, see, you screwed up by not breaking character at the most optimal time. That would have been just before eating the potato. You should have confessed to never having seen or heard of them before, and then opened it, smashed the inside, applied the condiments of your choice and eaten it like an old pro. That would have been much funnier.

bhellahella · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is like that comic where the guy is pretending to be retarded

mlvincent · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking gold, OP

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just fuck her in the ass, then tell her dad.

bembit · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is hilarious, thank you for sharing!

drinkingonthejob · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly question OP: how old are you? I'm assuming high school since the idea of dinner with other people scares you, but I'm seriously curious.

Eat_The_Muffin · 1 points · Posted at 15:14:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You shouldn't make that sort of joke in front of a Latvian family

spider_84 · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really hope this is true. So funny.

Naiver · 1 points · Posted at 15:15:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tifu by double dipping

TheRogueUk · 1 points · Posted at 15:17:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hold on, what the fuck is a 'Potato'?

Theonethatgotherway · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this in Andy Kaufman's voice

WarLizardForums · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's so silly. Just cop to the bad joke. You can just say "haaaah, just joshing" or something.

Actually, this is too silly to be a real thing I think.

Designer3 · 1 points · Posted at 15:18:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They obviously don't believe you because you didn't sell it well enough. Now you just look petulant.

Udongein1 · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Out of all things...a potato? One of the most universally accepted and delicious foods? You should've stopped acting, no one would truly believe that you've never heard of a potato. Should've tried something like intelligence or Jean Claude Van Damme.

jasonmerch · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a window licker, aren't you?

A_Goofy_Guy · 1 points · Posted at 15:19:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's so retarded.... It's hilarious. Thanks for the laugh XD

Gilighost · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't mind me, just looking for latvian jokes.

millionsofyears · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm getting a Calvin and Hobbes vibe from this

RyanRainbird3 · 1 points · Posted at 15:21:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You deserved it home slice. Charlie Kelly brains right here!

lehoo · 1 points · Posted at 15:22:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That reminds me of Man Stroke Woman. They have a recurring joke of one guy not knowing something very obvious, like pregnancy, babies and childhood.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:22:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I mean, you got exactly what you deserved. If shitty movies have taught us anything it's you never fully commit. If they give you an out, take it.

Still, if you dont want to fuck up, own up to it. Call them, say it was supposed to be a joke but you got so embarrassed you had to keep going with it. It was stupid, you feel stupid, etc.

mouldyscrotum · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

There's a word for people you like you. And that word is "idiot".

iCode_88 · 1 points · Posted at 15:23:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a reader, this story made ME fucking pissed. You sir are a moron

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:24:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this in DaxFlame's voice.

InappropriateTA · 1 points · Posted at 15:25:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was this written by a computer trying to be a foreigner who learned to speak English by watching old movies?

Let me tell you...

itsmyst · 1 points · Posted at 15:26:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is oddly reminiscent of the ministry of crazy walks and the argument clinic from Monty Python.

DontKnowMargo · 1 points · Posted at 15:26:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Gut wrenching!

ResistingTemptation · 1 points · Posted at 15:26:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure this is fake but it's still a funny story hah.

TheOnlyWanderer · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It sounds like this was a room full of people with zero social skills. You included OP, you included. Or maybe you're awesome and they are just fucking dumb as shit. There is nothing worse, well there are million things worse, but it feels like there is nothing worse than when you make a joke and people don't get it, or they DO get it and choose not to engage in it with you. FUcker mccock twibblers.

andrewm1994 · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If they got that upset over you not knowing what a potato is...can you imagine what would happen if OP pulled another prank and pretended to cheat on his girlfriend?

rex1030 · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well. You win?

chiefalzar · 1 points · Posted at 15:28:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

xd funny shit bruh but should have changed the topic and pretend like it never happened instread of continuing

John_Joe · 1 points · Posted at 15:28:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a potato?

Ferl74 · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

Explain when you get really nervous, you get short term amnesia and you forgot to take your medicine.

TronicTonic · 1 points · Posted at 15:30:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Kids, This is why lying is bad.

Even if you convince them you now have to keep this act up for the rest of your relationship.

Congrats.

NoRespectRedditor · 1 points · Posted at 15:30:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

A day in the life of an autist.

plasmalightwave · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow. Just wow.

itwasmadeupmaybe · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

here is your simple out. Send a very large letter with a question on it, that question needs to be: "how do you kill an Irishman?" The answer:"no potato". at the bottom of this letter and in small letters right "I am NOT a very funny man". Live with the fact that you are not funny. Or that they know no humor. and when I say send it as a big letter i mean as a very large brown piece of paper cut out in the shape of a potato. May also help to send the most awesome potato dish you can make, may i recommended a cheesy bacon potato bake.

brickpicleo · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just get a Latvian passport. They will believe you.

Naught · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck? I am flabbergasted as to why you though that continuing to lie was the best choice of action at any point during that interaction.

I really, really hope this is made up, because otherwise you are a straight up idiot.

patio87 · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

I died laughing.

AidenTheHuman · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It doesn't even matter if its real, it made my day

rickinyorkshire · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This belongs in /r/wtf

littleguyinabigcoat · 1 points · Posted at 15:41:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is no one noticing the amounts of "well let me tell you's"?

Black-Blade · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvEV_LHCLHBrWeTaByM8V__hyxJuc0QzrerMwRadPd3X8ZfZRg

Mike-Oxenfire · 1 points · Posted at 15:45:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well if you can commit to bring a complete dumbass, you can commit to your gf.

Smokedoutree · 1 points · Posted at 15:46:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How did you not bust out laughing ? I would of died.

DirtyJengaMonk · 1 points · Posted at 15:48:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you that I have made a bad mistake this evening.

Uhh..."bad" is an understatement.

dayuloli · 1 points · Posted at 15:48:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's a potato?

testiclesofscrotum · 1 points · Posted at 15:49:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

YOU GOTTA LOVE PLAYING PRANKS ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS

romulok · 1 points · Posted at 15:49:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by pretending to be Kevin

12_FOOT_CHOCOBO · 1 points · Posted at 15:49:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind that I should do a comic bit, to make a good impression and become known to them as a person who is amusing.

Reading this sentence alone, I can already tell this is a bad idea.

redarxx · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is the best tifu i've ever read

jdribblez · 1 points · Posted at 15:53:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You obviously haven't read the "rectal prolapse on a date" one.

bobby12221 · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Break up with her first.

rolfeinarb · 1 points · Posted at 15:52:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yep, you did fuck up... Thats all there is to be said..

jdribblez · 1 points · Posted at 15:52:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is just insane. I laughed more at your incredibly bad writing ability.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:52:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Rent a mansion and only serve exotic delicacies like 'I'm sorry I never heard of your starch root... try this Foie Gras I picked up on my way through Paris this morning.'

natek11 · 1 points · Posted at 15:52:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

what is your native language?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you - you are going to be on the search for a 3rd girlfriend before long.

Billebill · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like something Calvin would do to piss off Suzy's mom on a playdate

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think every TIFU should capitalize the phrase "my girlfriend"

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are the personification of every silly 90s sitcom misunderstanding that gets worse and worse as the episode goes on. I did not think people that ridiculous existed in real life.

Come to think of it, this sounds made up. The writing is on the same level as most of that terrible network sitcom BS.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How the fuck is committing even more to the charade less awkward than admitting you made a joke that they didn't find funny?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:58:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck them if they can't take a joke.

jrodshibuya · 1 points · Posted at 15:59:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are an absolute cretin.

HailCeasar · 1 points · Posted at 15:59:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But Dad, why are you so mad? Try to understand that I do want you as a fan.

Rambo-licious · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't tell that to this guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zk0pniTntU

whitey_whackers · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP is Gollum.

Cafris · 1 points · Posted at 16:00:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck is a potato?

scruffy_Me · 1 points · Posted at 16:01:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

WTF, I think you might as cash in your chips on that relationship

Pornosaurus_Sex · 1 points · Posted at 16:01:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a fuckin' idiot.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like the comedian Daniel Simonsen

WalkenTall27 · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read this story in the voice of Tommy Wiseau. I was not dissapointed

Prickly_Pat · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Annnnnnd ten more minutes...

camel_victory · 1 points · Posted at 16:04:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm laughing so hard

LeChelsea · 1 points · Posted at 16:05:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read that with Martin Freemans voice in my head. It fit it perfectly, are you Martin Freeman?

Coolfuckingname · 1 points · Posted at 16:05:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Taking the joke too far"

Now you know why that phrase was invented.

dgonzal2 · 1 points · Posted at 16:06:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you OP: you dun goofed up over a potato, and there's certainly not many people who can make that claim. Thereby, you have achieved your goal of being 'amusing' - just not to the right crowd.

samquam · 1 points · Posted at 16:06:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just let them know you were messing with them, if she's still with you you don't want to have that lie, if she's done, at least you'll regain some of your dignity.

On a related note, I once called every food mustard for a whole lunch period in high school. I got a wide range of responses, from an amused chuckle to straight up hostility. Some people even played along for a bit. It's still a joke with a friend of mine, I reenact it every once in a while, then we both cringe.

YouCanCallMeJake · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your girlfriend is a lost cause. Convince your friends you were going to break up with her and wanted to piss off her parents. Save the humiliation.

And never try to be funny again

MuckYoFama · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the fuck...

BEEPBEEPSNOOZEREPEAT · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, let me tell you. It sounds straight up fake. Sorry.

ChinaFatBrownNipples · 1 points · Posted at 16:07:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I literally got angry reading this fucking post.

I'm still angry.

I don't know why.

Fuck.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

First all the drama with Jenny and Carly and Zach and now this. TIFU is turning into quite the prolific subreddit.

Shamr0ck · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ask him if he ever heard of ass burgers

69sucka · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you sound like a real fucking asshole. good on the dad for kicking you out. i hope the girl dumps you.

Coolpeppers · 1 points · Posted at 16:09:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should have played it safe and stuck to dick and fart jokes OP

ladylemons · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Some girlfriend she is;I would have chipped in with you!

Fatty lie, though. Good luck.

Bromunch · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was so annoying to read.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Greatest TIFU of all time.

Thank you, OP.

PantheraRazorK · 1 points · Posted at 16:11:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato, poteto, potatae.. Did she already broke off with you already (a few hours passed, update the post dude)?

Tin_Whiskers · 1 points · Posted at 16:11:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy over reaction, Batman! These people are clearly insane.

branthar · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they were Irish, and thought you were being disrespectful? I really can't see why anyone would be this passionate about potatoes.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

:D This is like a lost chapter of Everything Is Illuminated.

that1randomdude · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you......I feel bad for anyone who has to hear you actually speak and keep saying well let me tell you.

tombstoneharry · 1 points · Posted at 16:12:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now you know why this is just his second girlfriend of all time....

CheersMate88 · 1 points · Posted at 16:13:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking brilliant.

fyreNL · 1 points · Posted at 16:14:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tell her parents you are from Latvia. In Latvia, one has only heard myths about potatoes.

afghanispam · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you deserve it

groggyMPLS · 1 points · Posted at 16:15:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your writing, OP, let me tell you, is something alone that I could read with enjoyment for even the rest of my life.

yinoryang · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Doesn't anyone realize what a great story this will be, after OP evens out his personality in say, 15-20 years?

Batty-Koda · 1 points · Posted at 16:16:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point.

No. you FELT like you had to commit 100%. It was an exceptionally stupid thing to actually do. you should have said "Ugh, okay, I was trying to make a good impression by being funny. I clearly didn't get that right. I'm going to try again being humble."

Maybe they are pissed because you revealed yourself as a liar who will double down on the lie when push comes to shove. That's one of the most transparent things I've ever seen, and when you kept with it it went from a bit to a lie.

I would find a way to meet with them, apologize, explain you were trying to be funny, messed up, and paniced when they started getting upset. Say you're sorry, emphasize it's something you did because you wanted to make a good impression, because you care about their daughter.

Lying over and over again rarely wins anyone over, and that's one transparent lie.

goaskalice3 · 1 points · Posted at 16:17:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh my goodness. This just made my morning.

DylTheThrill · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you...

Lindblad · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op, you're a fucking idiot :)

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man you went full spaghetti, never go full spaghetti.

harmonigga · 1 points · Posted at 16:18:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell then the truth. The only bad thing you did was misjudge the type of appropriate humor. Explain to them you got nervous and decided to fully commit to your retarded joke.

unviewtiful · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was a god damn goof!

ripshit_on_ham · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Gotta be honest here... This would really annoy me, too.

Sorry, man!

johnrogan · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

First chance I get, I'm totally doing this. Never apologize for humor.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:20:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op what did you think was going to happen? You should have just told them it was a bad joke.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:21:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well...at least you now know what kind of inlaws they'd be.

RVCFever · 1 points · Posted at 16:21:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am done. Hilarious.

Bone_Dogg · 1 points · Posted at 16:21:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you

Gbyrd99 · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I honestly thought this would turn into a PCMR post about consoles. But this was much more hilarious

warpus · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you guys ever get married, you are going to have one hell of a setup for .. well, for a whole bunch of things at the wedding.

gloopyboop · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm angry just reading this.

arnov · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Taters gonna tate

CuntyMcFlappypants · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Seems like something Mark Corrigan would do

itsamefas · 1 points · Posted at 16:23:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

His username though...

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:23:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude you wen't full Constanza.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:23:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude... you had so many opportunities to come clean. They would probably understand some nervous kid making a bad joke, but now they just think you're an asshole. They will never believe you don't know what a potato is. The only way out of the hole is if you come clean.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 16:24:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

seems like something mark corrigan would do

sharksnax · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, what country are you from?

Not sure if troll or foreign

BostonRich · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am assuming the Dad is Irish and maybe lost a lot of ancestors to the famine. We don't joke about potatoes in this house son.

I_DONT_KNOW123 · 1 points · Posted at 16:26:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You just went full potato. Never go full potato.

jersey0525 · 1 points · Posted at 16:26:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now i will think of this idiocy EVERYTIME anyone says "let me tell you.."

ProtoKun7 · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm struggling to imagine why you thought that was even remotely a good idea at all.

rykalsymn · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you that OP went full retard.

s0nlxaftrsh0ck · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I really like the fact to how committed you are to this bombed joke that even made it your username. Genius

Iplaymeinreallife · 1 points · Posted at 16:29:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you have to realize that they absolutely knew you were fucking with them, so it's quite natural to become offended.

It is, quite frankly, not possible to grow up in the industrialized world and not know what a potato is. Asking them to believe that you don't is insulting to their intelligence.

That having been said, most people would have brushed it off as an innocent sort of silly joke.

Why in the world would you think you had to double down when you didn't get a laugh? Everyone tells lame jokes from time to time and being caught having a slightly weird sense of humor is better by leaps and bounds than being caught treating someone like they're stupid enough to believe an obvious lie like that.

On the off chance that they did believe you, being caught not knowing what a potato is would mean you were either the dumbest or most oblivious person on the hemisphere, possibly the planet, so also worse than having a weird sense of humor.

So, in conclusion, you are either pretty damn stupid, or a funny liar.

omgfckbuttz · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You know, a good potato costs about tree fiddy.

StormCrow1986 · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

" Latvian man look up in sky, see cloud, look like potato. 2nd Latvian man see impossible dream. Is same cloud."

OP: "What is potato?"

PM_your_small_nips · 1 points · Posted at 16:30:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well let me tell you...

Fugidy · 1 points · Posted at 16:31:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Son I am proud

its_a_me_ · 1 points · Posted at 16:33:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

fucking potato

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

WTF OP just WTF. Maybe you should stick to your dayjob lol this is fuckin hilarious though. wow just wow.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

How was that supposed to be funny?

uabeng · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just think if you were to have the conversation of premarital sex, abortion, or anything of the sort with her dad. I'm pretty sure that would not end well at all.

BlackFeign · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP here is the only way to get you out of this situation.

Step 1. Either have really loving parents that will help you out in this plot...or pay each of them $100 to do it.

Step 2. Invite your gf over to your house for a meal like you did at hers.

Step 3. Have your parents explain to her that they heard about the potato problem at her house and then explain to her that you came from some 3rd world country where the potato was never heard of. You can explain that you guys were at that location because your father was a bible smuggler for this area...you just happened to be born and raised there.

Step 4: If down the road your gf asks to see your birth certificate......kill her

Hope that helps!

HairyNutsack69 · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

cringe

alreadyfukdher · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That dads on reddit just waiting to beat the hell out of OP. "Motherfucker pretend to not know what a potato is is my own goddamn house."

DillonPressStart · 1 points · Posted at 16:35:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What?! I- I don't even

ypps · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, stop telling me things.

HIGH-COMMENTS · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The parents sheeple to get so annoyed about that. I'd sau you doged a bullet fuck creating more of that gene pool

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is true commitment.

dickholedoug · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Of all the things that ever happened, this is not one of them. That or you have full blown assburgers.

idontlikeyoupeople · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Insist you have a twin.

Fredthefree · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LoLs before hoes

Herbal_Carriage · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Idk why you wouldn't just say you were joking. I would get annoyed too. Like they thought you were fucking with them. If my daughters boyfriend was fucking with me the first time I met him I'd be pissed too. Js

Peasy_Pea · 1 points · Posted at 16:37:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you!

thisimpetus · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Girlfriend's psycho parents were a lucky dodge; you got out early & easy.

donthejeweler · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

cant stand ya... cant stand ya...

VenomB · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah don't worry man. You avoided a huge mistake that would surpass a "tifu." I have a rule that you don't get with a girl whose father is crazy.

No one in their right mind should get mad about potatoes or someone's knowledge of potatoes.

exometrium · 1 points · Posted at 16:39:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, that was horrible.

TheAmurikin · 1 points · Posted at 16:39:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wait this isn't /r/4chan ?

4ChanSystemAdmin · 1 points · Posted at 16:40:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Isn't the best solution to go to your girlfriends house and tell them the truth? I'm sure they would understand that you just got nervous and want to move on from the subject? :p (also invite them over for dinner)

Jallis370 · 1 points · Posted at 16:40:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you

Roughneck4815 · 1 points · Posted at 16:42:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like her and her family are very argumentive and bitchy. Leave now while your still alive.

googlion · 1 points · Posted at 16:44:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This here folks will be the fuck up of the year!

djsubtronic · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Am I the only one who feels like OP is from a Latvian joke?

Diluxx · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't believe a word but its entertaining as hell so have an upvote.

Ronigol · 1 points · Posted at 16:47:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The parents were obviously from Lativa!

bastardbarnone · 2 points · Posted at 16:55:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wtf is lativa??

SoaDark00 · 1 points · Posted at 16:48:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dumb and dumber.

DragonArm · 1 points · Posted at 16:49:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The parents must be from Latvia.

Nilbog96 · 1 points · Posted at 16:49:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I like potatoes. "

MST3K: The Pod People

meloninyoass · 1 points · Posted at 16:51:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is a potato dammit! Will ANYONE tell me?!?

richhh01 · 1 points · Posted at 16:52:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just a quick question. Why did you think it would be funny in the first place?

I don't understand.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's fantastic you will not admit to knowing what a potato is. Clearly your commitment to the art of comedy outweighs the frail human relationships society has put so much emphasis on.

woneymell · 1 points · Posted at 16:54:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm pretty sure OP is drunk Larry David testing out unused Seinfeld storylines.

Peace-Love-Harmony · 1 points · Posted at 16:54:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I swear I could be reading a deemed passage from The Catcher in The Rye

ppface12 · 1 points · Posted at 16:55:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

hahah reminds me of something my idiot fuckhead of a friend would do.

ejambu · 1 points · Posted at 16:55:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is may be the most ridiculous meet-the-parents story ever. More than the movie Meet the Parents. I have no idea why you started this--it seems so self-inflicted.

gyca · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

op is retarded

_th0r · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

really weird joke dude.

slumdoggmillionaire · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP's username is quiet appropriate

darkeagle91 · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

aghast, nervous, and bashful

shamed, humiliated, depressed, and disgusted

You do an excellent job describing your emotions.

idislikeapple · 1 points · Posted at 16:57:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did the great gatsby write this?

fauxphantom · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I couldn't read this story.. holy crap..

Murda6 · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is she irish?

EyeAmmonia · 1 points · Posted at 16:58:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP: Use this as a starting point. Confess that someone later let you in on the fact that you've been eating all sorts of heavily processed potato products for years, but that nobody had told you where they came from.

Tater tots, crisps, pringles, fries, and so forth. All potato products, but alas your childhood of neglect and malnourishment has cost you more than just the usual junk food diet hazards. You have been deprived of your full vocabulary.

Worse still, having been fed convenience foods and fast foods all your life, you never really thought about where food came from or how it got on your plate.

As the pain of the ruined dinner at the GF's house sank in you had to learn more about food, and where it comes from and how it gets processed.

With a renewed appreciation for a true home cooked meal, you contact GF's parents and apologize for your shortcomings in this area, and you also beg for their help in filling the void. Ask your GF and her mom to give you cooking lessons.

For this to work, you'll have to feign ignorance and disbelief at some products and be aghast at others. The payoff if it works will be that you'll get exposed to and consume lots of home cooked meals. You'll have lots of exposure to the GF and her family.

The risks are many, the reward is great. Go forth.

PossiblyAsian · 1 points · Posted at 16:59:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the dumbest. No This is a new level

pm_me_big_tit_pics · 1 points · Posted at 16:59:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's fucking hilarious. If they don't see that, they're not worth it.

MagicRat923 · 1 points · Posted at 16:59:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is easily the best TIFU that I have ever read. Fucking hilarious.

alecesne · 1 points · Posted at 17:00:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

When the girls father dropped the F-bomb, you should have been like "Ok, I do know what these's are." and just acted like nothing had happened.

THEriot2 · 1 points · Posted at 17:03:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Could be worse. First time I met my (ex) girlfriends parents her dad volunteered me to help beat the shit out of his son. I had said nothing. At that point, the (scumbag) son tries getting in my face. My girlfriend at the time was distraught with tears and I never saw the family again in the next half a year or so of dating.

Poor mom has to live in the house with dad and son. She was pleasant enough, too.

Maughtly · 1 points · Posted at 17:04:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why in the world would you do this? Especially in a setting like this?

I can't fathom why anyone would think this was a good idea. Funny story though!

DvnRlm · 1 points · Posted at 17:04:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP. you suck

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:05:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was this written in another language and ran through Google Translate? The way reads just isn't quite right.

slavmaf · 1 points · Posted at 17:07:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

>Finally the father said I should "Get the fuck out of his house" and I said it was irrational to treat me like this just because I never heard of a potato before.

Grinning like a maniac five minutes after reading this at work, while interacting with customers. Boss thinks I'm a retard. have an upvote.

redog · 1 points · Posted at 17:09:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OH SHIT THATS WHAT THOSE ARE? My mom calls them POH-TAH-TOES.

AbyssIsDark · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're an idiot.

xBlackLogic · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reap what you sow. Find a new gf.

marsh-a-saurus · 1 points · Posted at 17:11:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just tell them you went home and asked your parents about potatoes and they said ever since the Irish potato famine they have never mentioned potatoes.

GildedAdder · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato waffles would blow your mind.

stanksnax · 1 points · Posted at 17:13:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Live updates or it didn't happen...

Nicsau · 1 points · Posted at 17:15:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahahahahahahaha you fucktard

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

haha what a weird story and, weirdly worded but in an endearing way

esacbw · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

r/potato

CervineService · 1 points · Posted at 17:16:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I never got why people get pissed over someone else's knowledge about something.

southpawshitlord · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Her family must not know what humor is.

Macrat · 1 points · Posted at 17:18:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Am I in a 4chan greentext story thread?

foryoutodecide · 1 points · Posted at 17:18:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I thought getting kicked out of dinner by the father with a "Get the fuck out of my house" only happened in movies

ErickFTG · 1 points · Posted at 17:18:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's what you get for not being original. Just admit you are horrible at jokes. Would you rather be known as a lier or someone who is bad at jokes?

AmazingIsTired · 1 points · Posted at 17:19:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You just saved yourself thousands of dollars and possibly years of your life.

hobo131 · 1 points · Posted at 17:24:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You got a messed up mind if you think that was gonna be funny

Jokesonyounow · 1 points · Posted at 17:24:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lame ass comic

rocktop · 1 points · Posted at 17:24:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm glad you finally told me.

BeatDownToNothing · 1 points · Posted at 17:24:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your girlfriends parents are stupid. Which means your girlfriend will grow up to be stupid. Dump her. Buy a potato

zyzzrustleburger · 1 points · Posted at 17:25:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP is the only potato here.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:25:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Plot Twist: he actually didn't know what a potato was.

RobertJ93 · 1 points · Posted at 17:26:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you Will Ferrell?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:27:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"I'll tell you what, Bobby"

1920sFapper67 · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It would've been a good joke if you'd copped to kidding IMMEDIATELY after they first inquired about you not knowing what it was. YOU kept driving though...right over the cliff. Try & get a blowjob before she dumps ya...'cause she will.

princesspants26 · 1 points · Posted at 17:31:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love the adjectives in this post.

Clearly English isn't your first language, and this line may be my favourite 'So first when the potato became on my plate' haha

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:32:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I may be insensitive, but even if she breaks up with you I think this joke was totally worth it.

Lost_and_Abandoned · 1 points · Posted at 17:33:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fake having a brain tumor that made you act funny. Explain that it was operable and benign to account for the lack of death involved.

harryeg · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has to be the funniest tifu I've ever read. Amazing, well done

MonsieurLam · 1 points · Posted at 17:35:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Keeps his secret / lie / joke to 3 people

Tells the truth to the entire Internet.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/29a1640072ea6f31989b39a78a355d91/tumblr_n3zf5mxM0g1txudn8o3_500.gif

gfy_bot · 1 points · Posted at 19:12:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

GFY link: gfycat.com/UnluckyMellowCanine

^{GIF size: 893.67 kiB} ^| ^{GFY size:130.75 kiB} ^| ^{~ About}

FartyMcPooPants · 1 points · Posted at 17:36:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a want-to-be comedian and a want-to-be haver of girlfriend, I applaud your commitment to the act. Bravo sir!

pomegranate_rose · 1 points · Posted at 17:39:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was super funny on such an absurd level. It makes me want a potato becoming on my plate for dinner. Or lunch. Or now... please excuse me while I find interesting potato.

WildBilll33t · 1 points · Posted at 17:39:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some surrealist sitcom shit. Dear lord that was amazing to read.

Youre_Government · 1 points · Posted at 17:39:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is your native language? I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when non-natives write and ball parking what language they speak, but this is something else entirely. Easter European, maybe?

AlphaShotZ · 1 points · Posted at 17:39:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

let me tell you

ZeroQQ · 1 points · Posted at 17:40:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't care if this is real or not. This is beautiful.

RealityCheck151 · 1 points · Posted at 17:40:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

We dont take to kindly to people who dont know what potatoes are around here

domyates · 1 points · Posted at 17:41:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You didn't fuck up. This is brilliant. I laughed a lot. lal.

Stormcloudy · 1 points · Posted at 17:41:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've never heard of spaghetti being served with baked potatoes, but... shit.

All of the spaghetti.

kitton_mittons · 1 points · Posted at 17:43:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is so fucking stupid as to basically remove the possibility of it being fake. Congratulations, I couldn't dream up something like this in a million years.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:44:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Next time you do something like that, film it, for laughs. How would they not see you were fucking around...

Cddye · 1 points · Posted at 17:44:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

who let me tell you is only my 2nd girlfriend of all time

You don't say?

FreddiePeterson · 1 points · Posted at 17:46:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Andy Kaufman level: Tony Clifton

theoccasional · 1 points · Posted at 17:47:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reading this post made me laugh out loud in a full lecture hall. OP is my hero.

DuhBakedPotato · 1 points · Posted at 17:48:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're talking about me but I was never there.

boilingmouthwash · 1 points · Posted at 17:48:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Take a sweet potato to them and ask them if they have heard of a sweet potato. You've already fucked up (hence why you are here) so why not break the boundaries.

bff272e9d673fa941d0a · 1 points · Posted at 17:48:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does anyone actually believe these things?

refraxion · 1 points · Posted at 17:49:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, that was not the brightest idea. Should have stopped while you were slightly ahead, I should tell you.

townfox · 1 points · Posted at 17:50:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think this is a Salinger parody

ImRuhn · 1 points · Posted at 17:51:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you, your fucked

qwigz · 1 points · Posted at 17:51:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This would make a great Seinfeld episode

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 17:52:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i think this is a salinger parody

cogentorange · 1 points · Posted at 17:52:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Awkward, sorry man. In the future, quick witty jokes work best.

postfu · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're my hero. And, her dad sounds like a jerk.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

to potate oneself, is to potate them all

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:56:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm gonna stick up for OP here. I've done stuff like this and nobody has ever flipped the fuck out about it. I probably wouldn't do it the first time I was meeting a girl's parents though.

denvertebows15 · 1 points · Posted at 17:57:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The best part of this is that the dad gave you an out. All you had to say OP was "Yeah I'm just messing with you guys. nervous laughter Guess I shouldn't take up a career in comedy chuckle"

CapnStabby · 1 points · Posted at 17:57:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this post in a think Wisconsin accent dontcha know.

boomboy13 · 1 points · Posted at 17:58:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pff, unless you have really strong feelings for this girl I would say end it yourself. Her family is clearly pretty lame and if she can't even have your back (or stay in the same room) during your first meeting with her parents she sounds kind of disloyal. Maybe I'm being drastic but they seem like dickheads.

edit: also, OP, the joke was funny as hell.

oppopswoft · 1 points · Posted at 18:00:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This didn't happen.

ParanoidRookie · 1 points · Posted at 18:00:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking funny. Dont know what else to say. Its simply hilarious

squirrel_con_fuit · 1 points · Posted at 18:00:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Friend, this is by far one of the most ingenious ways I have heard to filter people. The biggest mistake you can make is staying with this girl because her family is obviously way too uptight and lacking any humor. I have said and done much worse in front of ex-gf's families and they were cool enough to laugh. At a BBQ my gf's mom asked me what a good size for a chicken breast was and I replied; "I'm always happy if its at least a handful." Great story either way buddy.

mmurphy347 · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this in the voice of Holden Caulfield.

aztecelephant · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That sounds like there's a few bullets to be dodged. Tread carefully OP, this is just the start.

rockacha13 · 1 points · Posted at 18:01:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you a true story. My brother works with a bunch of guys in a warehouse and he told them about lumberjack jobs in Saudi Arabia and that they are paying 6 thousand Euros per month but you must commit to at least 6 months. Everybody was very excited about it...

hmswish · 1 points · Posted at 18:02:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

oh my god we need updates

greyspatter · 1 points · Posted at 18:02:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP is English your first language?

bathroomstalin · 1 points · Posted at 18:03:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If I had only one wish, it would be to have more poets with autism in the world.

Thank you, OP. Your everyday living is a gift to the world.

Audrin · 1 points · Posted at 18:04:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should have just come clean.

thundercats_roar · 1 points · Posted at 18:04:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

"Well let me tell you..." who the hell gave you gold for this?

Edit: "Well let me tell you..." TIFU for using "Well let me tell you" ...too many times."

BaileeXrawr · 1 points · Posted at 18:04:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Say your mom has a potato allergy and that you guys never had them in the house before because she gets a bad rash when she touches them. That seems like a legitimate reason to have never been in contact with a potato.

3agl · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I come from /r/pcmasterrace. This is hilarious. That is all

shedidnotsay · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's all about the execution. If you do not know how to make a joke, don't make a joke. It would've been perfectly acceptable to say just joshin' after the first round and move on.

Darthok · 1 points · Posted at 18:05:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have the sudden urge to binge watch Seinfield.

Graceful_Ballsack · 1 points · Posted at 18:06:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you need to know when to stop.

phespa · 1 points · Posted at 18:08:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mom's potatoes

Man.. You made me laugh so hard

0mousse0 · 1 points · Posted at 18:08:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well just be glad your girlfriend can add "didn't know what a potato was" to her belt when she thinks about all her weird exes.

ey_bby_u_wan_sum_fuc · 1 points · Posted at 18:09:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the single greatest thing ever posted on Reddit.

88flak · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Bahahaha you are such an idiot i love it. hahaha what a great story.

Gazatron_303 · 1 points · Posted at 18:11:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Here's me thinking that it was a genuinely offensive downs syndrome joke and turns out to be literally about a potato. Gotta be some right stuck up parents to not have a laugh about it all.

Here's to you spudkid....

F1IsMajestic · 1 points · Posted at 18:12:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Unless the father had a mental illness I can't see this being real

BcookieOmonsterB · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So am Irish family, yeah?

macgeej · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://41.media.tumblr.com/21769f6e2e356b7763cdd07640e6ba81/tumblr_n9fzckksX41tfs3n2o1_500.jpg

Unseeen · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full retard!

StevenZB · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If OP really wanted to know what a potato was, he could have just looked in the mirror.

Mbmsigma · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are an idiot.

ImSeeley · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Misuse of quotation marks . Father yelled, "get the fuck out of his house!" Was there another man in the corner of the room he was referencing? She will break it off. OP is not a bright man.

Talkhazin · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know you were pretending not to know what a potato is, but your story could've made more sense to some of us who really don't know what a potato is if you had posted a picture.

smjpilot · 1 points · Posted at 18:16:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This made me question my own knowledge of potatos. Does anyone really fully understand what a potato is?

mhasad · 1 points · Posted at 18:17:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is genius, I can't stop laughing.

1D2D3D · 1 points · Posted at 18:17:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is stupid. You're probably trolling us or you should deal with your own emotional issues & stop being an idiot in front of people

KawaiiFlower · 1 points · Posted at 18:20:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well that got way out of hand...

KillSword · 1 points · Posted at 18:20:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This will sound like a 4chan comment but, are you autistic OP?

M_is_for_Mancy · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly, you might have dodged a bullet there. Going ape shit over your "lack of knowledge" of the existence of potatoes is not a good sign.

eatingcheetos · 1 points · Posted at 18:23:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a George Costanza level fuck up, OP. You should be proud.

Tarnate · 1 points · Posted at 18:24:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yo, I got a pass out for you.

Claim selective amnesia because of an accident. Selective amnesia is forgetting only certain specific things (for some people, relationships or people, or names, and such). So you MIGHT have known once, but now you legitimately did not know.

Also, this gives a whole new meaning to calling retards "potatoes"

Lostsouljah · 1 points · Posted at 18:24:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LMAO the commitment to the joke is so admirable in itself, you automatically win.

mst_ginger · 1 points · Posted at 18:27:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't be dumb next time. Just man up and be embarrassed for a little bit then let the moment pass. This is definitely a fuck up. Funny story though.

1z2q3w · 1 points · Posted at 18:28:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude your fucking his daughter, you already got one up on him.

JimmySnuff · 1 points · Posted at 18:31:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can't fault your commitment!

xxRaymxx · 1 points · Posted at 18:31:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why are they getting so angry over you "not knowing" what a potato is? Jokes aside wouldn't you just be like that is really strange and then just move on from it?

alfrednugent · 1 points · Posted at 18:33:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest god damn thing I've ever read in my life.

privated1ck · 1 points · Posted at 18:35:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

boldmovecotton.jpg

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is the potato bot still around?

MalletsDarker · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This story would be better if you were Irish.

arcanopunch · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

would you like some fries with that?

sylfire · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck up of the week?

AsthmaBlows · 1 points · Posted at 18:45:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

LMFAO. WHAT THE FUCK.

religion_idiotizes · 1 points · Posted at 18:50:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's taters, precious? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihMMw0rnKz4

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:50:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I once cause a co worker to enter a fit of rage by replying "huh?" any time he said "what?" It was a running joke at my school, and had literally no meaning. We called it the "huh/what game." He was pissed that he always fell for it, but the only way to really fall for it is to get frustrated that you're not in on it. I was 17 at the time and he was a grown ass man. My manager gave me the day off because the guy wanted to fight me. He got fired a little bit later.

kittika · 1 points · Posted at 18:51:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tears were shed.

MakeT0nightStay · 1 points · Posted at 18:53:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

My husband loves to troll people like this. I am dying laughing!

LennyFackler · 1 points · Posted at 18:59:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Reminds me of another potato joke gone wrong. A friend wanted to impress ladies at the beach so I jokingly suggested he put a potato down his speedo swim suit. We were shocked to see him actually go through with it when he showed up on a crowded public beach sporting a huge bulge. Once we got our laughter under control someone finally told him. You're supposed to put it down the front of your shorts, not the back!

Accalon-0 · 1 points · Posted at 19:00:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your probably a really terrible actor, and they could tell.

CousinEddie144 · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Call her dad and tell him "It's ok, I can count to potato now! A one and a two and a _____________"

mscal · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is amazing

Larovaria · 1 points · Posted at 19:15:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

but how does it tastes with rice

canopey · 1 points · Posted at 19:16:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

omg always be yourself!! ^{^idiot}

NinjaManolo · 1 points · Posted at 19:22:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

I read this and heard Billy Bob Thornton voice from slingblade

OP: I reckon you mean French fried potaters...

CURCANCHA · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm glad you told me.

thetearsofaclone · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boil um, mash um, stick um in a stew.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:45:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What... what the fuck..?

Smiggles223 · 1 points · Posted at 19:50:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh how did you and your girlfriend break up? Over a potato.

mellow-man · 1 points · Posted at 19:53:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I laughed throughout the entire story, you truly have a way with words!

At least you are known to me as a person who is amusing.

ForgottenPotato · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

dude...

MrTastey · 1 points · Posted at 19:58:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Assuming this is real what kind of psycho gets that pissed over something like that?

tokeaphatty · 1 points · Posted at 20:09:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

show up to their house eating french fries next time.

JuhLube · 1 points · Posted at 20:13:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you that this does not look good for you.

Warvanov · 1 points · Posted at 20:17:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yep. You fucked up. Checks out.

G-strings_are_classy · 1 points · Posted at 20:21:16 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never go full retard

onlymadethis4porn · 1 points · Posted at 20:23:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you're going through hell, keep going. Good job OP.

turbo · 1 points · Posted at 20:38:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like something Jez from Peep Show could do.

literallyright · 1 points · Posted at 20:40:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are you George Castanza because you date just like him.

adopted_by_bunnies · 1 points · Posted at 20:44:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

how can you count if you don't know what a potato is?

PaulyMcBee · 1 points · Posted at 20:47:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, I laughed at least. Actually don't have to be there for it to be funny!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:55:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is your name Kevin?

UltraSTONED · 1 points · Posted at 20:58:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have no rationalization of how this joke could have turned out good in any situation.

PoxyMusic · 1 points · Posted at 21:17:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You achieved comedy, just not the kind you wanted!

Lesson learned: when freestyling comedy, don't dive in headfirst unless you're an expert. Dip your toe in first and test the water...if it's cold, stay the hell out.

Yes, she'll break up with you. Move on.

fullhalf · 1 points · Posted at 21:27:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this story sounds fake but fuck it's funny. i wish it was real.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:27:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like someone else here has already said it but you're an idiot. Good TIFU though.

EveryTrueSon · 1 points · Posted at 21:35:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now you have to explain to them that you're actually Latvian. Such is life.

curleymon · 1 points · Posted at 22:09:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a potato

anamename · 1 points · Posted at 22:26:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Was drinking coffee and spit it out, laughing, reading this losg

seductive_lizard · 1 points · Posted at 22:28:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is fucking hilarious. If i had gold to give, it would definitely go to you. You're going to have to do with an upvote though

Whydidideletemyaccou · 1 points · Posted at 23:19:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should've told them you were Latvian.

RyanCantDrum · 1 points · Posted at 02:03:35 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is one of those what the fuck stories. Why did you just not admit it? Why did the dad get so mad? What is going on what the fuck

darth_bane1988 · 1 points · Posted at 02:03:55 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh man this is the only TIFU story that has made me laugh out loud including Jenny.

Commit. Commit 1000%

sarahsaturn · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:19 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Andy Kaufman is alive. This post proves it.

heaven_on_earth · 1 points · Posted at 02:17:12 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank you for making me laugh so hard I am crying. This is absolutely ridiculous!!

IRL_Potato_AMA · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:21 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)*

First of all, how dare you!

ATLcptnpaul · 1 points · Posted at 02:47:13 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You never go full baked potato!

TeessideKnobHead · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:34 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't get how not knowing what a potato is would ever be funny?

4InchesOfHeaven · 1 points · Posted at 02:57:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You must commit OP. Hold the line.

eleonlycostapenny · 1 points · Posted at 03:06:54 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the even heck man

Cakeworth · 1 points · Posted at 03:30:42 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

So tell us more about this a potato OP

FuujinSama · 1 points · Posted at 03:45:24 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, you now have the PERFECT joke to impress the parents of your next girlfriend.

"You know, last time I met a girlfriend's parents it didn't go very well..."

Grimorg · 1 points · Posted at 04:33:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is your name currently, or have you ever been called, Kevin?

sheepdogg0311 · 1 points · Posted at 05:12:37 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

now you should make your parents think your girl friend is making the whole thing up

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:23:39 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

So english isn't your first language right? I enjoy reading your writing :)

1337ndngrs · 1 points · Posted at 13:47:03 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I never thought I'd see a potato. http://i.imgur.com/hjjycNp.png

Rainbowlemon · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:59 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

On the plus side, this is going to make a great pickup anecdote for your next girlfriend.

lindmill311 · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:33 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Very first class, OP

ChocolateSporks · 1 points · Posted at 18:28:22 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What a weird reaction from the parents though. It's not like it's a nasty trick, maybe they just thought he was trying to make them look dumb by tricking them, but seriously, that's still dumb as hell. My parents wouldn't force it, they'd be like oh okay, and then afterwards they'd probably tell me my friend/bf was a little strange. But honestly my sister has some incredibly gullible friends, as well as straight up dumbasses, so that probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing someone didn't know about or understand.

PotatoC570 · 1 points · Posted at 21:57:25 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This sounds like a story for me!

anonymous_potato · 1 points · Posted at 23:45:24 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know of any potato...

wikingwarrior · 1 points · Posted at 04:20:31 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Such is life in latvia.

SpookiMeta · 1 points · Posted at 23:36:37 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I bet they were Irish...

lwphn · 1 points · Posted at 15:27:05 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiqqC_fbP1c life of a potato

Im_Tux · 1 points · Posted at 20:44:38 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was a good story let me tell you

1randomguy · 1 points · Posted at 18:22:14 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

/u/myhairynan /u/iluminatee

Trini2Bone · 1 points · Posted at 22:51:23 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

You should be a standup comedian...

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:28:21 on February 17, 2015 · (Permalink)

this is the greatest fuckup I've read so far. omg

i lost it at "fucked up antics"

sirfaps1 · 1 points · Posted at 15:11:44 on February 17, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you...

ringberar · 1 points · Posted at 17:59:21 on February 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It makes sense after reading...why you barely have any experience with women. I bet they run from you.

Pixelated_Fudge · 1 points · Posted at 05:18:42 on February 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

What happened?

Know_hope23 · 1 points · Posted at 00:28:11 on March 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best thing I've ever read in my life. Thank you.

NeverStyle · 1 points · Posted at 17:09:55 on March 20, 2015 · (Permalink)

People are still commenting on this?

rk_11 · 1 points · Posted at 03:40:46 on March 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

Late to the party. True r/pcmasterrace

buttforkd · 1 points · Posted at 18:16:38 on March 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can I just say, that I'm sitting at work, and crying from laughing so hard about this?

SemoMuscle · 1 points · Posted at 01:56:51 on March 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is amazing

Manavj36 · 1 points · Posted at 03:19:33 on March 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

You really like to tell us things, huh?

Jstone39 · 1 points · Posted at 00:13:16 on April 5, 2015 · (Permalink)

Relevant username.

BeerAndABurger · 1 points · Posted at 02:31:35 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

The broken English adds to the hilarity, shit had me rolling.

If I wasn't a cheap bastard you'd get gold but I am, so you wont.

brillow · 1 points · Posted at 03:00:05 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

DTMFA

People with a sense of humor this under-developed should be shunned.

Never the less, this is almost certainly fake. Maybe a deleted scene from an Adam Sandler movie?

andythecurefan · 1 points · Posted at 16:19:36 on April 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

All in all, this is pretty stupid to complain about a potato. Sure it was stupid to joke that he had never heard of it, but at the end of the day, these people are just upset over a potato. Irrational is you ask me.

gmikoner · 1 points · Posted at 04:39:42 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Backfired on my face.

face-paint · 1 points · Posted at 06:55:19 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh god, there has got to be more to this, why did they get so angry!?

TroyPDX · 1 points · Posted at 23:25:38 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm old enough to be the parent in this situation. I would have found it hilarious. That being said, perhaps he was generally coming off like a complete lunatic and that was the final straw.

amanguupta53 · 1 points · Posted at 06:58:17 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

You made my day good sir.

notmymainredditaccnt · 1 points · Posted at 08:00:13 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe the guy just wrote this in the hopes of gettimg gilded and the community supporting him so he can convince his girlfriend he was kidding or as a cover uo

joeychizzle · 1 points · Posted at 09:33:16 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dumbass. You deserve the inevitable break up.

nooutlaw4me · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:13 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

They sound like idiots. Don't feel bad.

goaskalice3 · 1 points · Posted at 20:24:39 on April 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is a story that I don't care whether or not it's made up. I was crying from laughing so hard at its amazingness

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Nicahole · 1 points · Posted at 13:35:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

calling them spuds is a good idea, but potatoes don't have gluten, it is in certain grains. I have celiacs, which is not an allergy, but an autoimmune disease triggered by gluten and other protiens that are very similar.

Desalvo23 · 1 points · Posted at 17:02:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

with such a weird family, maybe you played the cards right... maybe shouldnt stick around

xBlackLogic · 2 points · Posted at 17:22:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Weird family? The kid is a moron from the fathers perspective. I would boot that punk out as well. Maybe throw him out so he sure as fuck doesn't want to come back.

If he can lie about that, to that degree, you can't trust him about anything.

Desalvo23 · 1 points · Posted at 17:29:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you are saying you are an intolerant twit who can't take a joke, or even better, what if it was true... What's so wrong about not knowing about certain foods?

I'm sorry but you are wrong in this instance and i'm calling you out

xBlackLogic · 1 points · Posted at 18:25:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Call me out all you like. If you acted like him, I would rest easy knowing you would never be coming back. My daughter can find better people than that to bring home.

First impressions man, that's all I have to say.

Desalvo23 · 0 points · Posted at 19:03:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Again, if you get irritated by that then you have more serious problems

OM6-8UG · 1 points · Posted at 09:05:22 on March 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you. This is the most annoying read I've ever come across. Let me tell you, ive never seen that sentence used so many times.

Airbiscuits_seen · 1 points · Posted at 17:33:26 on April 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can say, without any hyperbole, that this is the greatest story I have ever heard. Do you have a followup? What happened next?

reyabc · 1 points · Posted at 18:21:10 on April 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No updates?

Felecorat · 1 points · Posted at 12:20:31 on April 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potato?

Itsme_Nataly · 1 points · Posted at 19:34:01 on April 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh my god... I am reading this and I cannot muffle my laugh any more. You are breaking my heart, OP.

PlayOffWords · 1 points · Posted at 23:09:14 on May 4, 2015 · (Permalink)

Damn she shoulda gone with it! Oh well R.I.P

Votermeylon · 1 points · Posted at 03:43:15 on May 9, 2015 · (Permalink)

With that amount of commitment, marry her.

BubblesOfSunnyvale · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:58 on May 10, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is this 'potato' you speak of?

mark0487 · 1 points · Posted at 03:12:42 on May 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

When you said 'a potato', I suddenly remembered this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY5-U7DHgyA

Englishnotgentleman · 1 points · Posted at 09:49:41 on May 29, 2015 · (Permalink)

hahahaha this is the funniest thing I have ever fucking read

GHUltimate · 1 points · Posted at 20:48:35 on June 1, 2015 · (Permalink)

Genius!

KA1N3R · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:53 on June 9, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is so insanely funny.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:57:39 on June 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

Any updates?

mrcomegetsome · 2 points · Posted at 23:15:49 on July 12, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes! UPDATE US OP!

JezzaN1 · 1 points · Posted at 22:24:05 on June 28, 2015 · (Permalink)

this... this is something special.

RollingSquares · 1 points · Posted at 12:00:30 on July 6, 2015 · (Permalink)

Username checks out.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:58:02 on July 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

its almost as if its a throwaway!

RamboCyclonius · 1 points · Posted at 07:51:23 on July 7, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's such a weird thing to get angry at.

I_want_hard_work · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

1) I don't believe you.

2)>When I saw that baked potatoes were served I got the idea that it would be very good if I pretended I did not know what potatoes was. That would be funny.

Do you have Asperger's you fucking retard?

Sleep__ · 0 points · Posted at 04:23:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy crusty octogenarian drawers batman, you need to give up the ghost and just admit you were fucking around...

eastkent · 2 points · Posted at 12:47:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Give up the ghost means to die.

all_I_want_is_more · 1 points · Posted at 07:56:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

too long for no TL;DR

bogweasel87 · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tl;dr potatoes?

88Reasons · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The troll is strong with tis one

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:39:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're retarded. Yes, you can go back. You can explain the situation to them, and clarify that that indeed you were joking, and that your sense of humor is... potatoish. God damn it. I'll leave this post on for 10 mins then gonna delete my reddit account. how fukcing retarted are you?! GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET

SouthlandMax · 1 points · Posted at 08:33:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would not encourage you to breed... In fact I think you should reconsider that whole man/woman thing altogether.

fourthletter · 1 points · Posted at 11:40:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The short answer here is you are an asshole, go around to her parents and admit you were seriously nervous and totally were fucking with them before it's too late, this is going from bad joke to mental illness.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

what sort of retard thinks pretending not to know what potatoes are is funny?

talk2BigMikeD · 1 points · Posted at 15:33:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

As a father of a teenage girl, I would forbid my daughter from seeing you again. You have just shown an extreme lack of character as a first impression and also an unwillingness to admit it and shift gears to correct the situation.

I'm not being a dick here, just honest. I would not want my daughter involved with a dim-wit slow-brain.

vi_warshawski · 2 points · Posted at 16:28:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

well your daughter would tell you to fuck yourself for being an ignorant and date him anyway. also they will kiss right in front of a picture of you to make you mad because you're a nasty old dad that thinks he is ruler of the world.

talk2BigMikeD · 1 points · Posted at 18:27:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

…and you know this because you are obviously so wise and learned. Are you a political science major? Unlike the way you disrespect your family, my daughter would never tell me to fuck myself. Nice try you ignorant, nasty, hag-turd of a person.

Iconic5 · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Op... you're a dumbass.

Meekandalone · 1 points · Posted at 09:51:34 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

If your Gf breaks up with you. I will date you. This is fucking genius!

TonyBanana420 · 1 points · Posted at 06:30:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. If they're gonna be dicks about this, fuck 'em. You've got a long life ahead of you full of girls, girl's parents, and potatoes.

adave4allreasons · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If happened as told, "fuck 'em, if they can't take a joke!"

LatinArma · 1 points · Posted at 07:05:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funnest latvia-potato bit - Almost thought this was a real tifu.

jessiered21 · 1 points · Posted at 07:52:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your English is adorable

kiwioncrack · 1 points · Posted at 09:04:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you he got very annoyed. I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!"

Ok that is actually funny.

sedaak · 1 points · Posted at 09:30:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, on the plus side, you have just saved yourself from an intolerant family.

oldandgreat · 1 points · Posted at 09:30:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Autism/10

Ishmael_Vegeta · 1 points · Posted at 09:31:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

at least if this is fake it's funny.

if you ever get caught in an embarrassing situation, it is only embarrassing if you show it. hold frame.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:43:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why you all hatin' on OP so hard? He went to a dinner to be inspected and deemed worthy by The Parents, for God's sake. Every man on this whole fucking website knows how awkward and stressful that is. He was nervous. He tried to make a funny. It didn't go over well and he panicked and took it too far. That's all. He's not an idiot, he's not "unfit for anyone's precious baby girl", he just panicked. He's on this website, so at least a small level of social anxiety is guaranteed as well. Jesus people get a life. And the dad's a prick.

OP, come clean. They already think you're weird so you have nothing to lose. Just tell them what you told us, then throw something pathetic in there like "I'm sorry, I was just really nervous about meeting you guys and making a good impression on you, Sir". And if it doesn't go well, then fuck that noise. Your girl may break up with you, but honestly she doesn't exactly sound like a winner, letting her dad scream at you, and leaving you all alone while you were helplessly embarrassed and nervous. Good luck, and shoot us an update! 😊

prostateExamination · 1 points · Posted at 09:51:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

are you autistic?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:54:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They sound like such nice people. Your joke did you a favor. Move on.

LexusBrian400 · 1 points · Posted at 10:07:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If she breaks up with you, good. You don't want to date a chick with parents that get so fucking upset over something so dumb.

Real or fake,I laughed my ass off and woke my wife up. Thanks OP

Morel3etterness · 1 points · Posted at 10:17:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why would anyone get enraged over a person saying they dont know what a potatoe is? Its stupid in the least but definitely not infuriating. If I were the parents I think I would just ignore you and assume you were being a fool. If i was your girlfriend I would just call you out and be done with that bit. Not a deal breaker.

Why dont you just come clean? Tell your gf you were nervous and wanted to do something to lighten the situation or impress her family with your "not well thought out" conedy. Then offer to meet with her parents and applogize. Now you should be honest.

wharpudding · 1 points · Posted at 10:48:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now you should be honest.

There's no karma in that. If he was honest, he'd never have posted this "event".

MaxMouseOCX · 1 points · Posted at 10:27:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you... That's some funny shit.

Axxhelairon · 1 points · Posted at 10:30:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

/r/autismspeaks

nuesuh · 1 points · Posted at 10:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

He is right though.. It's certainly possible to not be aware of the existence of potatoes, and getting mad at someone for not knowing a starchy tuber seems fairly ridiculous.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think we might as well close this sub. Nothing's ever going to beat this.

bbooth76 · 1 points · Posted at 10:47:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You've got to be the dumbest motherfucker that ever slid from a human beings hairy ass.

KingToasty · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're a moron, but damned if I don't admire that dedication.

thezapzupnz · 1 points · Posted at 10:51:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You didn't fuck up. The parents fucked up for getting angry at a fucking joke.

There needs to be a TTFU (Today, they fucked up).

But then, you WERE an idiot.

So ... TWFU (Today, we fucked up).

But you were more stupid than they were.

Thus ... TIFUMTTFU (Today I fucked up more than they fucked up).

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:17:37 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

But it wasn't a joke. He never went, "Agh, just yankin' your chain!" He kept on lying like a tool.

thezapzupnz · 1 points · Posted at 11:20:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Any person who can't tell when their chain is being yanked and just let it be, laugh, and carry on with the conversation rather than push the subject is just... not right.

They could tell it wasn't true, so they could've just laughed and left the entire subject alone. He likely wouldn't have continued his (admittedly) stupid charade, and peace could've prevailed.

Yeah, I'm not saying this guy wasn't an idiot, but there's no reason not to be chill about something silly — except if you're a bit of a cock in your own right.

Maybe it's the New Zealander in me, we're much more chill about non-serious business...

Ivoryline · 1 points · Posted at 11:10:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly what a nutcase dad. You don't wanna be with that girl anyways when it sounds like the dad was about to literally murder you over potatoes.

Psycho dad he's a kid... You're yelling at a child you've never met, over potatoes.

Next day at work he's telling his buddies about this retard for sure though.

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 11:15:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't think the dad is a nutcase. Dads seldom like the guy who is fucking their daughter. Anyway, OP was being a stupid idiot. Of course he isn't going to like him. It's a dumb joke.

Ivoryline · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If it even is a real story but maybe I've just not been around that kind of crazy dad ever. Yelling at a dinner table seems very aggressive.

Hard day at work? Hate your life? Yell at random children to feel better about everything! Am I way off base here?

soul_cat · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

yes my child, use the sarcasm; control it, master it

Kicker_Doomstah · 1 points · Posted at 11:37:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me quote the great ICP: "'You're a stupid ass dumb fuckin' idiot"

janitorguy · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not only you dont have the guts to admit your own bad joke, but you treated your girlfriend and her parents as an idiot. Shame on you fucker.

1curlygurl · 1 points · Posted at 11:48:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lying in bed laughing my butt off. It's stupid, yet hilarious. But, if you were doing it to me and dating my daughter, I'd probably be pissed at you, too!

FlaNxRemi · 1 points · Posted at 11:50:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

best thing i've read so far in 2015. absolutely ingenious.

ismk · 1 points · Posted at 11:57:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, you're the best. The story has everything; love, betrayal, potatoes, parents, comedy. Now only if it had tree-fiddy.

iwanttobeadog · 1 points · Posted at 12:04:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You didn't get kicked out because you didn't know what a potato was. You got kicked out because you didn't admit you were joking. Idiot.

Beyond_Birthday · 1 points · Posted at 12:05:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What? This joke was absolutely retarded. I fail to see why you're surprised by their reaction.

imsrslyyouguys · 1 points · Posted at 12:10:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry OP but you're fucking retarded. Your situation is not horrible at all. You just need to go to her parents and tell them exactly what you just told the whole reddit and your problem will be solved. Unless they really have no sense of humor at all.

Don't be stupid, really.

SaltyChip11 · 1 points · Posted at 12:17:30 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude you did F' up. You lied to her parents and they knew it. That's why they were pissed. You came in with a dumbass joke and treated them like fools by lieing over and over right to their face. Not a good 1st impression. That's your fuck up!

Imanaco · 1 points · Posted at 12:18:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Not the brightest tool in the shed are you.

YouAreScumOfEarthOP · 1 points · Posted at 12:28:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You may know what a potato is, but damn, that doesn't make you less stupid OP. You're fucking idiot.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:30:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

DearTereza · 3 points · Posted at 12:38:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the same principle as 'stories' on 4Chan /b/, basically just making people laugh matters more than whether it's true. I agree with the principle, but I also feel like r/TIFU should be real stuff, and this one clearly was not.

K10S · 1 points · Posted at 12:32:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I refuse to believe this level of autism exists.

fightoffyourdemons- · 1 points · Posted at 12:34:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If I was your girlfriend I'd find that hilarious, her parents just don't have a sense of humour!

Ceiteach · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Probably my favourite thread ever.

thedoze · 1 points · Posted at 12:37:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

think of it this way. if she does break up with you, you wont have humorless cunts as in laws, but it sounds like you are young, and unlikely to marry her anyways.

timewaitsforsome · 1 points · Posted at 12:40:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

probably my favourite thread ever

webgirly · 1 points · Posted at 12:41:21 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe avoid telling jokes and lying - it sounds like you suck at both.

Only way out now, admit it. Tell them you suck at jokes and were embarrassed that it didn't work. They will still think you're a fucking loon, but they at least might not be pissed to see you barefacedly lying to them.

deadlymoogle · 1 points · Posted at 12:42:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, the way you use big words randomly and needlessly is to me very annoying

ArchitectOfLove · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you..This is funny

JayneHJKL · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Listen, if your girlfriend leaves you because of potatoes you can do better.

The keeper girlfriend is the one that would think that prank was hilarious and you could tell you actually knew what a potato was. That or call you a silly idiot and still accept you for your retarded antics. I wouldn't want a girlfriend I had to lie to.

This is straight up Seinfeld shit right here though, what a great story.

dawgyphresh · 1 points · Posted at 13:06:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Paging /u/mydickisapotato

FuckYouBlueShell · 1 points · Posted at 13:08:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I enjoyed this, let me tell you.

JohnnyRoss · 1 points · Posted at 13:13:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't get what's going on...

Is there really such thing as a potato?

Astropoppet · 2 points · Posted at 13:52:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

in theory there must be, as Ireland suffered a potato famine, but it can't be too common as I've never had one

koopagabla · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don care if its true or not this is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. Thank you OP, your fuck ups have brightened thousands of people's days.

Lawdoom · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are a massive fucking idiot

HouseoLeaves · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can you say dodged the potato? I don't believe this story is real, but if it is those people have fucking issues. Get the fuck out of my house? really what the fuck is the guy Irish???

Quinny_Bob · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think it's fair to say this was at best a half-baked idea.

princess51423 · 1 points · Posted at 13:16:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are an idiot.

mrsfunkyjunk · 1 points · Posted at 13:27:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

She is not the girl for you. I'm sorry. But that's hilarious! It's because of those type of genius antics that I fell in love with my husband. There is a girl out there who would have played it right along with you. You are talented. I'm so proud of you for keeping it up in texts. Never let it die!

_JimPanse_ · 1 points · Posted at 13:28:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

First the Jenny thread then this... Fucking tifu is my new favorite sub!!

savage_henry1 · 1 points · Posted at 13:52:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This isnt even funny, you're an idiot, you pissed people off and embarrassed your girlfriend for something that wasn't even slightly funny...good job, retard PS-it's my cake day so you know my comment is true

ontheotherhands · 1 points · Posted at 14:25:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're an idiot OP. Full stop.

navysealboy01 · 1 points · Posted at 14:26:07 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy shit OP, you gotta be the most awkward person alive.

JMurd117 · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

No offense, but you are a stupid asshole.

wolscott · 1 points · Posted at 16:51:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

yeah you sound like a rude asshole. Who does shit like that?

ianjmont · 1 points · Posted at 19:07:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I read this whole thing waiting for a punch line. I'm not sure how you thought this would be funny. I am having trouble deciding whether you either have a bad sense of humour (sorry, Canadian spelling) or if this is all made up.

maximim · 0 points · Posted at 19:20:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

this

Skunts · 1 points · Posted at 19:08:13 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the best TIFU I have ever read! Trying not to laugh at work. Why did you do this, OP? Good god.

red_fowler · 1 points · Posted at 19:25:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude! So repetitious withe "let me tell you" fawk! Get it over with and fawking tell the story. Dweeb. Your girlfriend will soon be your ex if she has a brains.

sszli · 1 points · Posted at 20:02:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have tried to read this without bursting into laughter. So far I have not succeeded.

freudacious · 1 points · Posted at 21:15:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's it. Subreddit's over. Give that man the million dollars.

nomis_nehc · 1 points · Posted at 22:16:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel sorry for you.

You may have a single digit for your IQ.

X-raySpecs · 1 points · Posted at 00:56:00 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You clearly have also never heard of grammar.

StickyEastLABandit · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:52 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Easiest fix ever if you can swallow that pride of yours. Apologize and Explain that it was joke. It'll not only show the Parents you have a sense of humor, but it'll also show them your man enough to own your mistakes. I guess it depends on how much your willing to make it work with this girl.

Frootofthewomb · 1 points · Posted at 04:14:40 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

op you are almost as much of a social situation moron as you like that you fucking retard guy. Good job.

djolie · 1 points · Posted at 04:53:52 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I haven't laughed this much from a reddit post in a while

DieanaChristine · 1 points · Posted at 04:20:05 on January 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

Copy and paste this to Siri or any other text to speech application and prepare for glory.

thisislinds · 1 points · Posted at 03:34:13 on January 30, 2015 · (Permalink)

AMAZING!!

TheHeroicOnion · 1 points · Posted at 23:50:42 on February 1, 2015 · (Permalink)

Father sounds like a cunt though

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:17:45 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude. What in the fuck? Get a life.

sawu101 · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thats a class one shitty family there , wheres the fucken humor? Its funny seeing someone act as if they dont know what a potato is whether they actually know or not, on top of that the mere pronunciation of potato in repetition is enough to get me crackin

imagrillguys · 0 points · Posted at 09:40:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

that was hilarious. jk you're fucking retarded.

AndroidBorg · 0 points · Posted at 13:24:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Take a "shit" in their bathroom and leave a potato in the toilet. Then flush it so it overflows. Make sure to GTFO in due time

BadTimedGroot · 0 points · Posted at 07:35:47 on June 22, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stop fucking saying "let me tell you"!

UpsideDownIceberg · 0 points · Posted at 03:45:15 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The best TIFU post i have ever read... props

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 06:50:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:38:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dumbest comment I have ever read not real

sassyassburgers · -3 points · Posted at 06:45:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wait, what? Why in the world would her parents get pissed? How did she not know you're joking? I swear to god, even if I was convinced the whole time, the moment you screamed "Taste's very strange!" I'd bust out laughing until I get abs.

Man, I don't know how to tell you this, but I don't think she's the one.

johnnie240 · -1 points · Posted at 07:55:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You people are ruining reddit! Do you want Digg? because this is how you get digg.

Berta fucking lovejoy and the lot of you are now creeping into reddit and are killing it for our legit communities.

People need to stop upvoting such shit and take it back to 4chan and 9gag where it belongs.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 10:39:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Le hipster redditor

Tommyhanksy · -1 points · Posted at 09:14:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA potatoes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

I'm in the office and cannot stop laughing at this shit! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA POTATOES! HAHAHAHAHAHAHaA!!

Kopesetic999 · -1 points · Posted at 16:34:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me.

For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust.

Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully

lostdeceiver · 2 points · Posted at 17:17:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nice try but it's not going to happen.

Kopesetic999 · -2 points · Posted at 20:27:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What's not going to happen

[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 04:59:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Xiao8818 · 0 points · Posted at 16:01:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

So you think your daughter dating someone who pretended not to know what potato is is funny?

helium_farts · 1 points · Posted at 18:18:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, yeah. Pretending to not know what a potato is is a completely harmless joke, and I'd appreciate his commitment to the bit.

Trueevilgamer · 0 points · Posted at 09:07:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like a dumb family anyways

Misinformed_ideas · 0 points · Posted at 09:11:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Of all the fake things, this is the fakest.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 09:30:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, this is like the best fuck up ever. Or the worst. Whatever your point of view is.

Now, just tell her that you want to meet her parents again to explain everything.

Tell that you tried to be funny, but failed. And you were scared of making an idiot of yourself (duh).

It probably won't make them love you but it's a start.

And don't ever try to be funny again, please.

-StJimmy- · 0 points · Posted at 10:15:54 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You dumb ass. Here's some advice, talk about the weather or sports. End of story.

finny1892 · 0 points · Posted at 10:26:36 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you hero

gladiator_jesus · 0 points · Posted at 10:37:24 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I laughed so fucking hard during this I cried.

timewaitsforsome · 0 points · Posted at 10:40:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

i laughed so fucking hard during this i cried

The_Quibbler · 0 points · Posted at 11:37:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lucky girl.

bobo_le_chimp · 0 points · Posted at 11:46:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

HAHAHA funniest thing ive read in a long time. why man...bahaha

Britneys-Pears · 0 points · Posted at 11:46:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, I lost it at the high pitched noise followed by "Taste's very strange!" :D

Landox · 0 points · Posted at 11:47:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is."

Love how you are still so committed to this. One of the best posts where I've seen.

mccombs560 · 0 points · Posted at 11:52:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest goddamned TIFU ive ever read. Had me in tears. Well played OP!

Alpha_Canadian · 0 points · Posted at 11:53:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest shit I have read in a longggg time

SmallLumpOGreenPutty · 1 points · Posted at 12:51:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You must not have access to many books

Alpha_Canadian · 1 points · Posted at 13:40:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Most books I read are not comedy

squashedfrog462 · 0 points · Posted at 11:54:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I am so glad I was here to witness this. This is the best thing ever.

Roook36 · 0 points · Posted at 11:55:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I appreciate your commitment to the bit. Don't back down! On your deathbed you can tell your children you always knew what a potato was, wink, then flatline.

Lolcats240 · 0 points · Posted at 11:56:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If she breaks up with you for some dumb shit like that it's probably for the better OP

My_original · 0 points · Posted at 11:58:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does no one else think the parents are overreacting? I mean holy hell. Who the fuck would get upset if someone didn't know what a potato is?

tallcady · 3 points · Posted at 12:00:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They don't want their daughter dating a tard

dregan · 0 points · Posted at 11:59:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The idea slapped my mind

I like this.

neon_prayers · 0 points · Posted at 12:01:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I feel like they need to get the cast of Seinfeld back together just to make this episode. The Potato.

This is seriously the greatest tifu I've encountered yet. Bravo!!

SamCaste · 0 points · Posted at 12:02:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lol 😂😂😂 its all right man I make bad jokes all the time

El_Rodeo · 0 points · Posted at 12:03:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm in fucking tears reading this

MeltMyCheeseKThxBai · 0 points · Posted at 12:04:38 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your writing style made this fucking hilarious.

uselessDM · 0 points · Posted at 12:09:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, good thing this never happened, but it's hilarious never the less.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:10:43 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're my hero.

mypumassmellfunky · 0 points · Posted at 12:11:28 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

why be a dud spud when you can be a greater tater?

Tannandler · 0 points · Posted at 12:13:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your commitment to the bit is laudable.

fappyday · 0 points · Posted at 12:14:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Haha. Politburo is laugh. Please come with us. Say goodbye to family. Potato is no laugh.

choosiefruity7 · 0 points · Posted at 12:14:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Potatolly messed, the DaD is the first boyfriend

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:15:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like the father isn't too much of a spud

greyphish · 0 points · Posted at 12:18:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The dad's not Irish is he..?

peopleare11 · 0 points · Posted at 12:20:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"And she was like "A potato."........Well let me tell you I had to commit 100% at this point......."Enough is enough. You're fucking with us. Admit it." ..........."Sir, before today I never heard of a potato. I still don't know what a potato is, other than some kind of food. I don't know what to tell you."..........

I decided to take a bite of the potato, and when I did I made a high pitched noise and said "Taste's very strange!".....

HAHA

aazav · 0 points · Posted at 12:21:08 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh, a potato. What is a potato? We don't have them in America.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 12:21:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now in text messages I have been telling my girlfriend I really don't know what a potato is. The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.

I love you. I'm a heterosexual male but I'll be your girlfriend.

SnowFoxyy · 0 points · Posted at 12:21:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Omg you're a fucking genius

aazav · 0 points · Posted at 12:22:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tastes* very strange

No apostrophe on a verb, sparky.

slinkyrainbow · 0 points · Posted at 12:23:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

These could have potentially have been your inlaws you dodged a bullet, given your age normal people would have just humoured your antics.

NotSureIfLeftHanded · 0 points · Posted at 12:24:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest fucking thing I've read in a while. Don't worry OP, someone will love you, but it probably isn't going to be this girl.

WyattDerpp · 0 points · Posted at 12:30:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Funniest thing I have ever seen. 10/10.

DylanFucksTurkeys · 0 points · Posted at 12:32:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nice.

Broodwich78 · 0 points · Posted at 12:45:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry, you're an idiot. If you don't know when a joke is failing you, or how to gracefully end that situation, then your girlfriend is making the right choice breaking up with you. It's not a "comic bit" if no one is laughing and the joke continues past the point of irritation. Know when to cut your losses. Hope your potato bit was worth your relationship. Moron.

MrStickyStab · 0 points · Posted at 13:00:19 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They sound like total assholes! You played it right (next time commit to it just for laughs). Don't worry man, you'll have other girlfriends who can withstand your rapier wit.

JayAyDawg · 0 points · Posted at 13:05:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dat username...

SteamandDream · 0 points · Posted at 13:06:40 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That was never gonna be funny, just stupid and embarrassing. You are a moron.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:10:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why keep the charade up? I mean look, you can either keep it going, or just go for broke and tell her why you did. That you stupidly thought it was goi to be funny, and then before you realized it people were getting legitetmetly upset and it had spun out of control. And by then you thought it would be worse to drop it.

I mean... Honestly, if she breaks up with you for pulling some weird bullshit antics, you dodged a bullet. Doesn't sound like you would be a match if you like doing this sort of thing.

UghtheBarbarian · 0 points · Posted at 13:13:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dumb ass.

Let me try insert stupid thing.

Hmm. doesn't work.

Let me try insert stupid thing even more.

Hmm. Didn't work. People getting mad.

I am now firmly committed to insert stupid thing for the rest of my life even if it means ended my relationship.

Do you have any idea how utterly asinine this is??

Just tell them you were trying to be funny and when it backfired you panicked. This is because you really like their daughter and it means a lot to you that they like you. Bring mom flowers, bring dad a 6 pack of Guiness. You can save this but only if you stop doing insert stupid thing!

UndeadBBQ · 0 points · Posted at 13:14:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the dumbest thing I've read in a long, a long time.

You dun goofed now.

-ogre- · 0 points · Posted at 13:15:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You fucking clown

RevWaldo · 0 points · Posted at 13:15:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh, you mean PoTAHtos! Those I've heard of....

MissyB28 · 0 points · Posted at 13:22:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lighten up folks, real or not, the man has a talent for the comic surreal, reminds me of Jerome K Jerome Three men in a boat humour, an hilarious book, keep up with the writing sir!

antarctic_chimpanzee · 0 points · Posted at 13:25:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. I'm genuinely crying reading this

Eponymous1990 · 0 points · Posted at 13:27:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

They sound like douchebags.

Beckneard · 0 points · Posted at 13:28:01 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This should have been an episode of Seinfeld with Costanza playing your part.

radialdesign · 0 points · Posted at 13:29:26 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

See, now, if I were single, and we met in some crazy circumstance, my dad would have ate that joke right up. You just need a girlfriend/parent set who can, you know, loosen the fuck up.

kmoore69 · 0 points · Posted at 13:39:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the single greatest thing I've ever read. If only I were there to witness it, hiding in the shadows..

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 13:49:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Should have claimed it was a bet between you and a friend. You had to pick something and pretend not to know what it was without letting anyone in on the bet for X amount of time.

SheiraTiireine · 0 points · Posted at 14:14:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your fuck up was being unable to end the joke. Your comedic timing must be terrible. Don't try to be the funny guy until you have the balls to handle failed jokes, and the ability to actually make it funny.

lol_u_dumb · 0 points · Posted at 14:18:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Well let me tell you" you're an idiot.

LDRMS · 0 points · Posted at 14:22:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/eZgWiXn.jpg

roh8880 · 0 points · Posted at 14:23:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You never go full retard!

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:23:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What the hell was your end-goal here, OP?

"Oh, then I will tell them that I was kidding and I really do know what potatoes are! That'll get them to like me."

omegacrunch · 0 points · Posted at 14:25:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I assumed the top comment would be one word.

Why?

I was wrong. The tl;dr version of the top comment is why though ... so I was close.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:25:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by Believung my bf knew what a potato was

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 14:26:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Holy fucking autism batman. How did you get a girlfriend?

KinaseCascade · 0 points · Posted at 14:26:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry for potato.

Xsfmachine · 0 points · Posted at 14:33:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You asshole. I just wasted 30 seconds reading about your lunacy.

duckofsquid · 0 points · Posted at 14:34:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The only way I can ever get out of this is for them to buy that I don't know what a potato is.

100% wrong. Man up and admit you were nervous, and being nervous makes you stupid. (Its true, obviously.) Beg forgiveness. maybe she'll forgive you.

Lying to everyone the first time you meet in such a disrespectful manner is only slightly worse than sucking off their dog in front of them.

Hail_Satin · 0 points · Posted at 14:36:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can I teach you a thing about writing? You need to back away from your catch phrases. This is about a page of writing and you used some variation of "let me tell you" four times in the first 8 lines and 2 more times at the end to begin successive paragraphs.

theDoctorAteMyBaby · 0 points · Posted at 14:36:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I can't picture myself reacting any differently than the father in this situation.

tejila · 0 points · Posted at 14:36:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why would you pretend something like that? Couldn't you just go there and behave like a normal person?

alfalfa1985 · 0 points · Posted at 14:46:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your ass deserves to get sacked. This was very silly of you.

thelocknessmonster · 0 points · Posted at 14:54:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You pissed off her parents she likes you even more now.

noNameJame · 0 points · Posted at 14:55:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why is this written like you're trying so hard to write a cheesy book. I stopped reading a paragraph in

manfredpanzerknacker · 0 points · Posted at 15:01:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Man, your thesaurus got a workout with this one, huh? This reads like a highschool freshman creative writing exercise.

RuXXX0r · 0 points · Posted at 15:13:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You Tell me a lot of things. I, unfortunately, let you.

KoreanPizzas · 0 points · Posted at 15:13:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow this makes me angry for some reason, lol.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 15:22:15 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Full aspie right there.

CastrosExplodinCigar · 0 points · Posted at 15:32:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I would have kicked you out too. No imbecile is going to date my daughter.

NooB-UltimatuM · 0 points · Posted at 15:42:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't know man. If you didn't constantly address the fact that you were telling me something, I would have never guessed you were telling me a story.

Probably would have went about my day and never read this FU.

fistkick18 · 0 points · Posted at 15:43:06 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The autism is strong in this one.

Maxed2k0 · 0 points · Posted at 15:57:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP has the brain size of a potato

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 16:05:02 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

For you OP

^Seriously ^though, ^did ^you ^really ^think ^this ^would ^end ^well..?

jutct · 0 points · Posted at 16:13:49 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is the most retarded thing I've ever heard of. Don't try to use humor ever again. Don't try to be fake or do made up shit to impress people. That's not even a goddamn funny joke, at all. You should've just been polite.

Forget that girlfriend, she's going to dump you for being such a stupid unfunny retard. I would hate you too if I was those parents.

vi_warshawski · 0 points · Posted at 16:23:42 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

no he's funny and also kind. you're the gay boy and you're the fuck up.

JoeyJoeJoeJuniorShab · 0 points · Posted at 17:28:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was oddly Kafkaesque...amazing.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 17:39:44 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

People who are not funny should stop trying to be funny. And, dear redditors, almost none of you are funny.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 17:52:52 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Perhaps it would have been better to give up the joke sooner? But I do find it hilarious, SO & SO's parents need to chill. If she can't forgive you for something so silly, I'm afraid she won't do well with more serious stuff in the future. Good luck.

reubendevries · 0 points · Posted at 18:23:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Honestly do you really want to be in a relationship with a girl whose parents are this irrational. To have them kick you out of the house on either a) a quite inoffensive prank or b)the fact you don't know what a potato is just seems so unreasonable.

LetsAllstayCalm · 0 points · Posted at 18:24:23 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are a complete idiot. but this story is fake so who cares.

GreatOwl1 · 0 points · Posted at 19:09:48 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Remember this. Most people genuinely want to be nice and polite. Had you fallen on your sword and admitted it was a bad joke you would probably have receives a courtesy laugh and that would be that. People usually do not tolerate liars, of which you were obviously.

Consider it a life lesson in the value of humility versus sticking to your guns. This lesson applies to so much more in life than potatoes..

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 19:13:35 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stop saying "Well let me tell you"... that is probably why he was so pissed off.

But aside from that let me tell you that it is more likely you are bullshitting us than that this happened or that it happened the way you say it happened.

Gammit10 · 0 points · Posted at 19:15:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Today you learned not to fuck with people who are (at least in their eyes) more socially dominant than you. It's a good lesson.

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 19:28:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You are fucking stupid.

Saneless · 0 points · Posted at 22:33:50 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Admire your commitment. You took weak material and got an in the park homer with it. You're an impressive little spud (another word for potato, since you won't know what that means)

linuxunix · 0 points · Posted at 03:45:37 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, I see a lot of myself in you. I would have done the same thing. Please update.

Badtypyst · 0 points · Posted at 04:07:08 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

They sound like an awful family. And what type of pikey actually serves up baked potato when formally(ish) entertaining?

Nope it.

Archeball2 · 0 points · Posted at 04:23:52 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, you mind if I take your strategy?

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 05:11:19 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sadly, I could see my boyfriend doing this.

mrpear · 0 points · Posted at 22:40:50 on January 27, 2015 · (Permalink)

If you had thought to include a back story about being from some small isolated island nation somewhere this could have worked better, OP

Mason11987 · 0 points · Posted at 03:45:40 on March 21, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh my god, I'm actually crying. This touched some button for me and I can't stop laughing. Thank you for this.

BeyCastillo · 0 points · Posted at 08:31:50 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

hahaha OP you're fucking retarded

[deleted] · 0 points · Posted at 10:51:08 on April 11, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hero

registered2LOLatU · 0 points · Posted at 11:11:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Good luck with your Aspergers OP.

kielbasarama · 0 points · Posted at 13:27:18 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I just read this in a midlands Irish accent which made it significantly more funny to me.

Justin435 · 0 points · Posted at 13:57:31 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I tell ya what

cutiepatootie40 · 0 points · Posted at 14:43:03 on May 1, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dud, learn how to end the joke other wise it's just a prank thats why people get mad. You got some comedy homework to do young blood.

A-real-walrus · -3 points · Posted at 05:48:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Why are they mad?

bfodder · 2 points · Posted at 12:47:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Because they don't exist.

balleriffic · 2 points · Posted at 06:02:12 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Maybe they're from Idaho and they take their potatoes very seriously.

heartsbeating · 4 points · Posted at 07:08:05 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

From Idaho, can confirm. We take our potatoes very seriously.

roadblocked · -1 points · Posted at 07:43:34 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think the real question is: have you ever heard of zach?

kulltd1 · -4 points · Posted at 07:51:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

maybe he heard of zack...

crowruin · -1 points · Posted at 05:02:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

rekt

_chococat_ · -1 points · Posted at 08:09:55 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If my daughter brought you over and you pulled that shit I'd kick you out too (without the yelling though.) If you don't know what a potato is, how many other things are you going to be clueless about? Then I would punish my daughter for dating someone so ignorant.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 08:18:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is the "I'm painfully awkward but I have a gf" plot absolutely REQUIRED for fake tifu posts? This shit gets so old.

Vietpics · -1 points · Posted at 09:29:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you to stop fucking 'telling,' us shit.

Stop trying to come across as someone who has a great command of the English language.

Edit: Never mind. I read the rest and it's obvious that English isn't your first language. But yeah, you don't need to use such formal language all the time, it's annoying and unnatural.

ricdesi · -1 points · Posted at 09:31:59 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

What a fucking idiot.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 09:34:20 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude. You just had dinner, and openly insulted the meal (from her father's perspective). Life is not a joke, and people like you need to learn not to make stupid fucking jokes because they can backfire if not interpreted as a joke. This is a great learning experience for you, and maybe your self-induced autism from reddit will slowly decrease.

Overthinks_Questions · -1 points · Posted at 10:27:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Okay, this is a great story. There's really only one thing I don't get.

What the fuck is a 'potato'?

EnderWiggin2 · -1 points · Posted at 10:55:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lol fuck her parents. If this sort of dumb shit is too much for them to just shrug off, then they will likely turn into fucking assholes the minute anything gets too difficult to handle.

Honestly it's little jokes like these that can be very revealing of a persons true nature. The true nature of her dad is clearly an uptight douchebag.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 11:17:04 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Quiet, you third.

EnderWiggin2 · 0 points · Posted at 11:42:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I don't have to take that from a fart eating bugger lover like you.

deepinsiht · -1 points · Posted at 11:42:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This post is great. True or fake it perfectly illustrates how the human brain reacts to data that it cannot understand. The fathers rage is so irrational; its the only way he could have reacted other than just laughing at the thought of someone never hearing of a potato and brushing it aside. Funniest shit I've read today.

[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 12:32:11 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude you need to quit fucking snap chatting mckenna. Stop. She doesn't respond with anything meaningful for a reason and she's not interested in you. Who am I? The man whom she is in love with. She already told me not to worry, she's not interested in you. Sorry I bothered you kid. I've dated her since 2 summers ago. If you aren't trying to get at my woman or being inappropriate I don't care if you snap her occasionally. Just don't try anything man. You'll embarrass yourself and anger me. We are in love and we're making love tomorrow. So if you have any ill intentions with my woman you can forget it right now. I'm the biggest and best she's ever had, only man she's ever loved and the only man who could truly satisfy her physically. You will never have her. And she loves me. I don't have any problems with you if you are over my woman and realize you will never be with or touch her again. I apologize for coming off as a dick, just me and kenna are really deep in love and we've been through a lot and I just moved back home and it makes me a little jealous and angry to see a man she used to date before me is snap chatting her.... We don't need any extra bullshit or drama right now, so don't bring us any please is all I ask friend. If you try to talk to her any way but as a brother, or you try to see her at all, if she tells me you do anything inappropriate or anything outside of what a strict brother like friend would do,we are going to have a huge problem. I will leave you alone now dude if you're not trying to get at the woman who I love and whom is in love with me. That entire summer she was with me. She left kyle for me. She's been with me ever since, she even loved me and made love to me before she EVER let anything happen with you. You didn't please her. She didn't have strong feelings for you at all. And she immediately ended shit with you for me once she knew I loved her too. So get any ideas of the past out of your head. None of this truth should bug you if you're over her but I'm just making sure. I hate when my baby's friends have ill intentions and she thinks they are just friends and have no alternative motive. But idk if I trust you at all. If I can trust you to not stress me and my baby or fuck with our love tell me. I will leave you alone and apologize. But if you aren't over her and you're tryna "get some" or you're tryna get back in her life, it's NOT HAPPENING. She said you were nothing to her, and the sex was bad anyway haha. You're small and weak and she said it all felt wrong after being with me. She's been with me ever since. We're in love. And tomorrow me and her will be together in my room making love alll day how we always have together. If you have a problem speak up like a man or tell me our love doesn't bug you and I'll apologize, it's simple. So??? What is it? You are after my woman then huh?! Tell me the fucking truth man. Don't you dare be disrespectful and gross enough to bring it up, but if if you ask her about anything she shared with me about your weak ass, she may be nice and lie to you, or she may not care and tell you the truth. Either way. I'm her soullmate and her boyfriend of the past two years almost. And she tells me everything and NEVER lies to me. I don't care haha. Just stay away from my kenna. I sincerely apologize if you have no ill intentions and aren't trying to make moves with my woman. And i respect you as a guy in the service. I'm sure you're an ok dude. But just as a friend. You're nothing to my kenna but a brother like friend. I just wanna be sure you know it and don't forget it. Find a nice classy woman where you are stationed, marry her.... But back off of mine. You will never even compare to me in her eyes. Not even close haha.I just don't need you interfering with me and kenna's love. It's our lives man. It's really not cool.... Goodbye man, good luck. Respect to you being in the service. Sorry to bring your day down with my crazy bullshit but. Me and kenna are head over heels.... I can't help but be crazy about her. I love her with all of my heart and I will protect her from her untrustworthy fake friends. Not saying you are one. But you're dodging telling me what's going on in your head so I'm questioning a lot right now. Just know I'm never gonna hurt her, I'm always going to have her back, I'd give my life for her without hesitation, and I will protect her from anything, everything, and anyone. She is the love of my life. I fully intend to marry and give kenna my children. And we've talked a lot about it. Just don't make shit harder than it already is. I just moved back and me and her miss eachother so badly and we are FINALLY go to see eachother tomorrow and make love for the first time since halloween.... I hope you don't hate me man. I'm a good dude. Just protective of the woman who holds my heart. And who's heart I hold and must protect. I hope you can understand. She promised me there's nothing at all to worry about with you and that she's not interested:"/ I wish I knew before I embarrassingly went off on you. I'm so sorry man. I'm sorry. Please don't mention this to my baby:/ I'm really embarrassed and while she will understand, I just feel like an ass for attacking you when you have nothing with my kenna and no intention to. Good bye brother. I hope you find your one true love someday. It'll make you crazy, trust me, but you'll find her one day. I found mine when I was really young. And it's my kenna :)

DearTereza · 3 points · Posted at 12:36:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

The fuck is this shit?

SmallLumpOGreenPutty · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:27 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TL;DR

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:53 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude you need to quit fucking snap chatting mckenna.

SmallLumpOGreenPutty · 1 points · Posted at 12:53:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

W h a t

Clarrington · 2 points · Posted at 13:10:46 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, quit fucking snap chatting McKenna

Clarrington · 1 points · Posted at 13:10:00 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

...is this supposed to be here?

What the fuck.

cheesypeanuts · -1 points · Posted at 12:55:39 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

you fucking autistic retard

DiggerNeath · -1 points · Posted at 13:54:25 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yes this definitely happened

salientlife93 · -1 points · Posted at 15:42:29 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You behaved like an immature and arrogant kid in their house and showed little respect for youf hosts. If I was the father, I would have kicked you out way earlier for the way you behaved, with your imbecilic antics and asinine questions.

CoolCatHobbes · -1 points · Posted at 15:44:33 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, all of that was very cringe worthy and I don't see how you thought not knowing what a potato is was going to be funny. Also, you should probably read what you just wrote so you can see where your writing style, and I'm assuming speaking style? should change. Sorry for being so critical here, now that being said, I hope you can either make amends with your girlfriend or use this as a lesson of what not to do in general.

Torquing · -1 points · Posted at 15:53:45 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Here It Is!

This thrice-guilded post, promoted to the front page, will forever serve as my defining example of why votes/karma have been, and always will remain, absolutely meaningless to me.

vi_warshawski · 1 points · Posted at 16:25:56 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

why? it's a great post.

Torquing · 1 points · Posted at 20:59:58 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

why?

With respect, I'll say that if you need to ask, my explanation would take more time than one/both of us would care to invest. And likely achieve no additional understanding.

it's a great post.

Then upvote, and throw another gold at it. There are many that agree with you.

Jrob420 · -1 points · Posted at 19:30:09 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

You made this dumb shit up, not even funny

quonter · -1 points · Posted at 06:56:12 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Regardless of what happens, I think this is amazing.

OldenWorld · -1 points · Posted at 08:51:32 on January 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That really, really made me laugh.

Soperos · -5 points · Posted at 16:13:55 on February 16, 2015 · (Permalink)

You sound like a little punk shit. If I were her father I would make sure you never saw her again. Show your girlfriends parents some respect you fucking idiot.

dancer15 · -2 points · Posted at 06:55:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your girlfriend is the reason that every guy I'm around expects me to overreact to everything. Like I once in high school had a guy bump into me and he was like "OH MY GOODNESS, I'M SO SORRY, I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT, I SWEAR" and I was just like "Dude, chill, it's fine." I don't know what kind of person I came across as in high school, but the boyfriend has informed me that he has learned to just expect girls to overreact to things and I keep shocking him by not caring.

On a different note, my acting teacher was always preaching about commitment. Sounds like you, sir OP, at the very least had that down.

UppityRedneck · -2 points · Posted at 15:28:10 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your a fucking moron. Grow up. I would have kicked you out of my home too.

CastrosExplodinCigar · 4 points · Posted at 15:30:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

*you're

Superb___Owl · -2 points · Posted at 03:47:32 on January 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

I ain't even potato.

blackoutHalitosis · -4 points · Posted at 06:24:51 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

If I were the dad I would have responded, "What's a potato? If it was up your ass you'd know what it was, I betcha." After dinner I would show you my guns and my collection of nazi memorabilia, and then out of the blue ask if you're putting your penis in my daughter's vagina. :)

Anthonywd · 2 points · Posted at 07:17:14 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's the appropriate way to handle your daughters new boyfriend.

schooI · 2 points · Posted at 10:03:41 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

omg you are so badass.

GodsMagicDildo · 0 points · Posted at 09:41:57 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This has such a strong Emo Phillips vibe to it...good on you OP

arkaros · 0 points · Posted at 11:28:32 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

This was one of the most awesomely retarded things i have ever seen on reddit. Thank you for making my day

shakabro · 0 points · Posted at 12:54:17 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

TIFU by reading this out loud to MY girlfriend, without pre-reading it. She said "that was the most boring story I have every heard in my life".

Taliboom2 · 0 points · Posted at 17:04:03 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Let me tell you....

I_Like_Hockey · 0 points · Posted at 18:46:22 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, did they try to explain to you what a potato was? Such as: have you ever had a French fry? Take a bunch of those, UN-deep fry them and put them back together.

DA-numberfour · -2 points · Posted at 10:25:47 on January 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well let me tell you, you are a fucking dumbass.