IMCHAPIN ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 09:42:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that I'm liable to be posted back i
On this sub, but that doesn't preclude the possibility to do sit ups. I don't believe I'm too special of a person, but I was able to do near 800 sit ups in about 2-4hours while being considered just barely morbidly obese. I was determined to be able to say "I did 1000 sit ups" and, while I did say that to everyone I know, I only did about 860.
H41KU ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 09:57:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's anywhere from 7-4 situps a minute. That seems believable, if you had alright endurance and maybe a small break between sets.
7-4 sit ups a minute? That's not even working out at that point, that's like around 9ish seconds a sit up. Being able to do 40 in one minute is average
MrGords ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:39:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but he said that ~800 situps in a couple hours was believable, not that it was an intense workout
Totally if he left it to his first sentence. But then saying you'd need alright endurance and breaks makes it sound like he's trying to say it's an achievement of some kind
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except a morbidly obese person cant theoretically make a sit up movement cuz they are so goddamn fucking fat
Yea. I don't remember exactly, but I did maybe 20 without slowing down and started slowing and got to about a hundred for my first break of 5-10 minutes. Then I got to like 30 for my second break. 10 for a next few breaks (still about 5 minutes). And then it was like 2-3 sit ups for each break (those got down to 2 minutes for a break ) and I got to one sit up per break, but the breaks were about a minute by then.
At about 860 I tired out and could go any more. Than I read that sit ups weren't the best for losing weight, so I never did them again.
I don't remember the breaks exactly. Maybe it's significantly different, but I did get to one hundred without a break longer than 10 seconds and I did eventually get to one sit up per break.
Ubereem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like your mom in my car.
IMCHAPIN ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:16:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it was complete sit ups. My theory is that, although I reached the weight to be considered morbidly obese, (from the bmi I took from class that year) a good amount is actually muscle.
I look fat. If you were to see me, you would think "damn he's fat." If you saw only the top part of me, (above the man boobs) you would You couldn't tell I was fat. Now that I've gained weight since then, it's no longer the case, but it was at the time. Hopefully that changes within a year.
gleaped ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a theory a lot of people have. But its because they are absolutely wrong and delusional about their current physical fitness. Its not hard to change, eat better lift a little consistently you will be in shape in a year depending on how serious you are.
I'm not saying I'm not fat. I'm saying I had enough muscle or whatever to do about 800 sit ups despite being considered morbidly obese at the time. I'm not delusional, I am definitely fat, but I also have muscle underneath.
I do kettlebell workouts every 3 days, and go running with my dog everyday... I am trying to lose the weight I have. When I was younger (during the time i did the sit ups) I also took martial art classes for years where is basically jumped for an hour every weekday. I'm definitely fat, but I'm not just the average fat guy that sat around doing nothing.
See there you go. No one believes and now I belong as a post on this sub.
YEROCC ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:09:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did 42 thousand pushups in 30 seconds, and i have to be physically moved in the back of a small ute. Im not too spcial im just 840 pounds, but i like to tell people im a 1000 to make it sound better
Ubereem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1000
Fuckin amateur.
wayn123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to workout a lot when I was younger, I would take a little over 20 minutes to do 500 situps, I am nearing 60 now so I only walk for exercise now. I have lots of hernias that I probably got from working out too much.
Nice work! Everyone starts somewhere. Be proud of making a goal and doing your best to achieve it! Serious question, how bad did you hurt the next few days?
It's been years since it happened, but it did hurt like hell the next day. I'm pretty sure I was slightly bent over throughout the day. But that is all I remember.
"Now do that every day until you aren't fat you fat fuck"
Sorry, that was rude, I'm just on edge from some fat lady calling me a bitch at Ross yesterday. She did like 3 push-ups and then vomited everywhere and was cursing and it was awful.
Ubereem ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:11:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah people just never think. Just imagine as he's standing there and he's just waiting around clearing his throats and looking at his watch. I mean I'd imagine someone calling someone such things wouldn't really care to stay around.
Watertor ยท 295 points ยท Posted at 10:58:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you think about the whole exchange it's just as awkward.
No context, just a human approaches another human performing a service.
Human 1: "You are obese"
Human 2: Performs 30 push ups. "It is now your turn."
Human 1: "Incorrect" proceeds to sprint away.
Manager: "You have achieved a promotion. Acquiesce immediately."
Human 2: "These are truly the last days."
...I had a point somewhere in there.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you like bullshit like this, go over to r/Prorevenge. People in that sub believe literally anything as long as you type it in a long story.
Your comment reminded me of a story there about pranksters bringing in $28 in pennies to pay with for stuff they didn't even need, and the cashier counted it for two hours. They wanted people to believe the story that the pranksters waited two full hours while the cashier reversed a prank on them. I was downvoted and ridiculed for calling bullshit on it, I couldn't believe that people accepted that story as truth
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy on there that got a whole factory shut down to get back at his high school nemesis or some shit like that is a favorite of mine.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:58:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know why I keep reading that sub. I guess because I like creative writing, but let's face it, at this point it isn't very creative. Formulaic, yes. Creative, not so much.
Yup, got made fun of in high school by two people so he turned a shitty town even shittier by firing 100+ random employees and shutting down the only stable job they had in the town. And then he drives by a few years later and it's like 100X more ghetto, what a fuckin' joke
Hello Dr. Killjoy? I'm from the press and I must know... How do you go through a day with no fun? If you read a story about how a puppy got rescued do you scruff and call it fake and gay? When your children tell you about that thing they did in school, do you tell them cool story bro $100%?
Our readers must know!
I'm actually a proctologist. I can tell your sphincter has been dilated to a full 15 mm instead of its average 5. What is it that caused such butt hurt for you?
All joking aside, the actual story that I was talking about literally ended in applause. His coworkers applauded him for spending two hours counting pennies, while those darned bullies just stood there and watched. Even his manager approved of this blatant waste of time
He's actually a wandering gym instructor using the power of reverse psychology to help fat people.
At push-up 4 she felt she couldn't breathe and her arms shook but a combination of his sneering face and sharp blasts of his training whistle kept her going for the 35 minutes it took.
People say that only for the fact he had to leave and chase a fatter person he saw walk past the shop she'd still be there, on roughly push-up 38.
LeDucky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining him as an anime character watching this unfold, as his face makes a twitching motion while stuck in that expression of shock and disbelief
Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashiโll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashiโve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasuโd before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosuโs the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. Youโre fucking shinimashitaโd, akachan.
Some guy comes up to me at work and screams, "You can't even do 30 push-ups!" Then I pulled up my shirt and did the truffle shuffle for a full minute. All the customers held their breath in awe. Then I said, "your turn bitch." He pissed himself and cried out the door in a haze of losing. I got Employee Of The Month, and my boss fired himself, promoted me to boss, and I gave me a $100% raise.
Liar. You weren't there. If you were you would have seen them approach her tentatively and then solemnly place the $100 bills at her feet and then slowly back away, never turning their backs upon her and keeping their eyes downcast from her magnificence. And boy, you better believe those bills were as crisp and green as summer grass.
Yeh I threw bills. Gas bill, electric bill, car payment bill. I can't afford that shit.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:18:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was like a scene out of "a requiem for a dream" except instead of doing a double ended dildo they were doing pushups . . . and they were morbidly obese
Honestly 30 push ups done correctly is kinda hard though. I always ask people to do push ups when the subject comes up and somehow people's interpretation of them ends up looking somewhere inbetween doing a yoga pose and fucking the ground.
I'm not exactly a beast but I could do a bodybuilders 2 plate bench for a small amount of reps. Push ups are tough. Maybe when I was like 130 Pounds instead of 175 they were easy but I might of had bad form then. I don't even know lol. But I can barely do 50 and it's something I had as a goal of mine. 30 from someone who doesn't work out would be pretty nutty.
Michamus ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 10:55:16 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the first army physical fitness test in basic training is alway hilarious. You get these guys saying they did 50 push-ups and their score comes back zero.
oss_spy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:29:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you join the 41 club and hate yourself
2580374 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 09:07:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I can barely do 50" come on bro at 12 my arms are basically regotini
I'm in the army, so push-ups are a pretty important thing for us. When we get graded for a test we have to have good form too or it doesn't count. When I first joined I was 5'10 231 pounds. My first PT test I was able to do 22 pushups in 2 minutes. My last PT test after finishing all my training I was 183 pounds and did 74 pushups in 2 minutes which is a maxed 100 score.
Even with the 50 pounds of weight loss Im a broad and stocky guy. I had to gain a lot of strength in my chest to be able to push like the smaller guys.
Umarill ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:24:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was quite surprising to me. I started doing body-weight fitness earlier this year after being way too skinny for a long time, and after watching some videos to get a beginner routine and form advice, I realized how terrible push ups are done by the huge majority of the people, especially how they're portrayed movies.
Funny how the moment you get proper form it gets 10x harder. I guess some people care more about their reps than the effect it has.
Yeah you're exactly right. I mean I am in the extreme category for LBM and strength as a former PLer sitting at 245lbs, and my record for full ROM pushups in 2 minutes was 98, hard as fuck. Being heavy sucks for bodyweight exercise performance lmao. Also you're around 175lbs benching 2 plate that is awesome mate congrats on being strong as fuck relative to the normies!
When I was running a Personal Training business seeing the idea of "pushups" vs. The reality of doing a real one in the mind of beginners was interesting.
Most people cannot do a SINGLE proper form pushup, not one. In fact I am usually impressed when they can.
No one ever does actual, real chest touching the ground with body in a straight line no arch in the back heels in line with toes, pushups.
Bending your arms to 90 degrees is merely doing the EASIEST portion of the movement without completing a single rep yet most brag about doing 30 of those in one go lmao
You can be smart and still belong to /r/iamverysmart: remember Neil?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:43:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:48:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude a push up isnt a push up unless your chest touches the ground this is the general rule. AT LEAST come within an inch of the ground but most people just completely butcher the exercise and will think they are better than everybody else because they can do so many
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, nature? A push up exists to activate your pectorial muscles as much as possible using your own body weight, and there is one and only one way to do this most optimally. This isnt a fun little thing you do where you go up and down as many times as you can, it doesnt matter how many push ups you do, what matters are the results in your muslces.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude... why would i not gatekeep pushups? We're talking about push ups here and about certain amounts certain people can do so we need to follow a certain standard otherwise all our definitions are all over the place. And it just so happens that there IS a correct way to do push ups and this should be the way you consider when you talk about how many push ups a given person can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In most exercises (though I think push ups are excluded) improper form can lead to injury, as well as being a general waste of time. You want to have proper form so that you make the most progress for the amount of time you put in, and I think anyone would agree with that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you dont touch the ground with your chest you WILL get sloppy, you cant see how far your chest is from the floor so might as well touch it since that is the most optimal thing to do anyway. As far as i know heel position doesnt really matter for regular push ups, at least not regarding this particular context.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gatekeep? Surely an exercise has some actual standards to it...
Two plate ? You mean 2 45s on each side on a 45 barbell or 2 total cuz the former would put you near the top percentage of men especially if you did that much while weighing only 130
Thats what i meant. For his weight if you look up the stats he's in the top percentage.
Dietly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to be able to do a bare minimum of 46 push-ups to pass the army fitness test. It's really not a lot at all for a healthy adult male. I think women only have to do 26 though, so maybe 30 push-ups for a woman is impressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? 30 proper pressups, as in arms shoulder width apart, body straight and head up, is pretty easy for a lanky prick like me, of course with a lot of practice, but still.
I'd say doing 30 within 2 minutes is hard for most people.
Yup. Used to do 40-50 elevated push-ups pretty easily. Then my rotator cuff started hurting, I learned to do them the right way, and now 20 can be a struggle. (I'm pretty skinny but in decent shape,)
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:59:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Recore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah they definitely can't unless they do some sort of activity that gives them that strength. Either way they have to at least be active.
I've never seen a fat guy try a pushup though so I can't comment on that.
marho ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:54:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think bmi-wise 225 is just overweight, bordering on obese. Either way don't hate yourself! Reddit for some fucked up reason loves to hate on anyone without visible abs, but who cares about people like that. Most people don't give a shit what you look like, just how you are. So be you and don't hate yourself!
Ah sure man, it's not about what other people kinda perpetuate. I miss the person I was, and how nice clothes fitted me. I liked being able to float around the place during TaeKwon-Do and flip out of bed.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 09:03:33 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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marho ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:04:49 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry! I forgot that we are in the age of alternative facts.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:06:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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marho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:07:49 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have realized whom I was messing with! ๐ฑ
1sagas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 11:07:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calling bullshit. Someone who is skinny but doesn't work out won't be able to just magically do a bunch of push ups and pull-ups. It also has a lot to do with limb ratio, and not just body weight. Even the most fit lean dudes in our platoon topped out at like 70 push-ups. No more talking out of your ass for you
Domoda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am skinny twig who doesn't work out. I can do like 4 push-ups. What even is upper body strength
A couple of years ago when I was 130 ish pounds I could almost every time cross 30 push ups. Now at 170 I can't go past 20 on a good day. Wasn't physically fit then, nor I am now.
Being skinny helps.
eh, I'm pretty out of shape and can do about 15. I bet those 30 pushups, if they had happened, were also the lazy "women's pushup" where you do them on your knees. those are super easy
My brother is like 300 pounds. He knows he's a fat guy but let me tell you from experience, He could've been a linebacker if it wasn't for all the diabetus... Type 1 too. He wears weights while working out sometimes too.
My dad has type 1 diabetes, but he's extremely skinny because of it, he is 5"10 and weighs 125lbs. He has tried to gain weight but alas, no such luck unfortunately.
I mean, he has a job, an apartment, a wife, two cars and pays all his bills on time. He may be a big guy (u u u u) but he's certainly not a child just because he doesn't want to stop drinking that damn 'diet' soda.
I have a condition where I get really really dizzy if I do other exercises that have me standing up. Rowing is the only cardiovascular exercise I can do that doesn't get me dizzy since it's sitting down.
Sorry to hear that, but my comment was more along the lines of, if you're already scrawny, and you're at the gym, why are you doing cardio at all? Seems like a simple weightlifting routine would do you more good overall, and you could easily adapt one to keeps you seated.
I'm 5'6 110 pound dude that sits on his ass all day and I can do about 10 pull ups no problem. It will take me like a couple of weeks of training to double that
To be fair, if this is a woman, I'd be pretty impressed if she was able to do 30 legitimate push ups without stopping, none of that kneeling push up garbage.
Rawbs ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:35:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I honestly think less than 50% of adult males could do 30 straight push ups with good form and biologically speaking, women have less upper body strength then men. Idk if people just don't understand that 30 push ups really isn't all that easy or what.
A 17-21 year old female needs to be able to complete 19 push ups with proper form to pass their APFT and stay in the Army.
A 17-21 year old male needs to be able to complete 42 push ups with proper form to pass their APFT and stay in the Army.
I know we can't entirely extrapolate civilian physical fitness statistics from this data but we can say without a doubt that 30 push ups for a woman is an impressive amount of push ups, skinny or fat.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:53:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The APFT (and DoD regs across all branches) use such weird metrics, I've had friends who Excel in the tests and get almost 300 but ultimately fail due to exceeding max weight for their height or having a little too much body fat. Mind you, I've never served so maybe I'm missing something, but too many stories have pointed me to that conclusion.
_okcody ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:28:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI if you exceed the weight limit for your height, you get taped. You'll easily pass tape unless you're obese. Soldiers that work out often get taped because muscle is very dense and causes them to be much heavier. You can even be chubby and still pass tape, it's really not that hard. Unless you're hyper-bulking and have crazy massive muscles under your beer belly, you're not getting close to scoring 300 on the APFT while failing tape. I have seen a SSG that powerlifts + cycles to work everyday and has a big belly but even he passes tape, he does not score 300s on his APFT though.
Your friend is either lying about his PT score or superhuman.
The APFT is about strength to weight ratio, and that ratio favors lean muscular types.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:37:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is taping like a caliper test? In particular the complaint I most often hear is from my gym buddies speaking about how they would have to do the test then starve themselves for a week afterwards for the weigh in, or dehydrate themselves and do the weight check and test the same day. It just seems to me that the test alone would be sufficient. But they were also all kids during their service so I bet their foresight wasnt the greatest.
Being taped in the army has been a on going issue for awhile now. Any good leader won't let the test fuck over the ones who are actually working out and full of muscle as long as their pt scores are good.
Basically, for men they measure your neck and waist. Then compare the ratio. If you're packing a paunch and have a chicken neck, you'll fall. If you've got F 1 neck, odds are you won't. For example, a 15.5in neck and a 34in waist will get you 17% body fat. Max allowable is 20% but DoD "goal" is 18%.
Basically, you can be 'overweight' and the perfect PT stud.
_okcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The tape test is kinda fucky. My tape test puts me at a BF% of 13% and I'm closer to ~17-19% (I fluctuate rapidly). It's because I have a really weird body type, I have thick ass bones and a large frame but a very thin waist. Calipers would probably put me at 19% BF right now, while tape test would put me at 12-13%. Imagine if I had a real BF% of 14-15%.... I'd probably get taped for like 8% BF.
_okcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else answered your question but ask your friend how he manages to do 70 pushups, 80 situps, and run 2mi in 13:00 when he's got over 20-24% BF. Is he snorting lines before his APFT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's a great question, maybe some of their horror stories of military bureaucracy were exaggerated for dramatic effect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair though, as far as I understand, weight is a uniform srandard, not physical fitness.
I think you're still being generous, 30 push ups is a lot, I would say 5% can do them. And I think i'm still being generous
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:10:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a healthy but lazy 18 year old male, and 35-40 is probably the top of my range in 1 go
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:09:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what you think but statistically speaking youre fucking up your push ups just like basically everybody else. Even when it looks like you do them kinda OK you're probably still not doing them the way they are meant to be. Remember push ups arent about going up and down as much as you can they exist to activate your chest as much as possible using your own body weight. Nearly nobody can do 30 push ups this is way WAY out of the reach of any given person unless they are indeed super light and/or train their push ups occasionally. Untrained nobody can do 30. It's so easy for people to say but these same people are also convinced they know what a proper push up is supposed to be like when they dont.
Not with a big ass stomach hanging in the way that makes one pushup about 3 centimetres
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I'm in the army and the female standard for push ups is SIGNIFICANTLY less than males. Like if an 18 year old female did 30 push ups she would score well over 100 on the APFT whereas I fail if I do less than 42.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups isn't easy unless you're used to doing them. The average person can only do like, 5
I hope they mean "working" as in "working on my coloring book" in elementary school or something. It's the only way this can begin to make sense.
Demhdag ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:00:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy called me incapable of taking responsibility so I went ahead and adopted a kid then I told him "your turn bitch". He apologised and ran off
Maclimes ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:57:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might have happened, but let's imagine what might have been the other side of the story:
So I'm standing in line at the grocery store with my boy Todd. He said something to me about the fat cashier, and I guess she heard him? Out of nowhere, she just drops to the ground and starts heaving and huffing as she's doing pushups. We're like, "Holy shit, what is going on?" I'm just standing there, confused. Like, what the fuck? The other customers are all looking around, and we're all wondering when this will end so we can just buy our shit.
Finally she stands back up and tells Todd he has to do it, too. We're like, "WTF?" I tell him we should just get out of here and go the store by his house, cause this place is full of crazy bitches.
Wow, I just showed my boss all the karma I got from this post. He gave me a 50% raise, and sucked me off while my coworkers showered me with $100 bills.
Whenever a story ends with "they ran off" or "they just walked away" that is usually the sign that the entire story was bullshit.
Just the other day a friend told me he was at a bar, some guy stepped on his shoe and tripped, the guy got in friend's face and wanted to fight. Friend tells tripped guy "do you really want to get embarrassed in front of your girlfriend?" so the tripped guy "turned and just walked away."
I told my friend he was full of shit because he'd never have the balls to say that... he just turned and walked away.
She was sitting there, a mildly obese woman in here twenties. She turnt to her coworker and said she needed to lose some weight, I looked at her and suggested a nice gym, the one I go to. At that moment I saw her eyes turning red, she was foaming at the mouth. After about a minute of staring at me awkwardly she managed to blubber "Are you saying I'm fat!?" at which point she started laying on the ground, attempting to do some form of a push up. Some time passed and she stood up panting, looked me in the eyes and said it's my turn, while sweat was running down her face, as if she ran 10 kilometers. I got my coffee and left the shop. Overall my yelp review is gonna be 5/10, coffee was pretty good.
So stopping work to get on the ground, do push-ups and then call your co-worker a "bitch" is catalyst for managerial approval? Where do they work, a steroid manufacturer?
fay9820 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he just stand there during the 30 seconds you were doing pushups in silence just looking at you until he was roasted ? Why does this scene seem so awkward to me lmao
DevinBP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine the awkward minute of him standing there just watching her do 30 push-ups? Someone else approaches: "What is that lady doing?" And he says "Oh, her? She's making me look like a REAL asshole...."
Anyone who is so fat/self conscious that they feel the need to post shit like this couldn't do 30 pushups with proper form if their fucking life depended on it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think after the fat had done about five press ups it got really awkward and by the time the fat had done 30 press ups the cringe was so bad everyone there needed hospital treatment?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea sure he ran off
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the owner gave her the keys to the store and a free 12 month subscription to a gym. Oh and everyone clapped.
Cyrado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:44:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups is pretty good. If I just called a stranger 'fat' and she did 30 in a row (with good form) it would really take the wind out of my bully sails too.
This is a normal reaction. In fact, it is so normal that I used to go up to fat people in the gym and call them fat just to motivate them to do 30 pushups. 60% of the time, it worked every time.
"A guy said I look good today. I took it as a attack on my figure and assumed he was calling me fat. I dropped down to do 30 push ups, but couldn't even do three. Co worker called the manager after I called the customer a bitch. Guy apologized to to my manager and then my manager took me to his office to tell me they have to let me go." -FTFOP
Then I came by and told her that he was only trying to warn her of the dangers of overeating (he is a doctor), which is true, because I was with him for the last half an hour when we saw her eating seven hamburgers in a row and drinking four beers. Then I did 50 push-ups and she could only make it 12, then she collapsed under her own weight and got diarrhea shortly after. Moral lesson: don't judge people who show legitimate concern for your own health and don't instead shame you by doing more push-ups than you can possibly make. Btw, the doctor makes at least 200 push-ups every morning.
EWSTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it is for an average woman who doesn't spend a lot of time working out.
I can only do like, 15 knee pushups at the moment. Though I have a giant surgical scar in my stomach that feels like it's getting ripped apart even when I do that. So it will be a while before I get back to being able to do 30 normal ones. ;_;
For a woman it would put her in the top 20th percentile of women in the Army, APFT standard, so in general public that percentile probably jumps up significantly.
The top 20% of body fat would put a woman at 9% body fat which would be an incredibly thin woman.
With that said - the cross section of fat women who are capable of doing 30 pushups is incredibly few
jelde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calnce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the floor and I can confirm this happened
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how even in their fantasies these people are insecure as fuck. If some random person told me to max out push ups just so i can prove my level of fitness id tell them to go fuck themselves
I bet shes the kind of person who drones about how shes comfortable in her own body yet its blatantly clear shes desperate for validation
Phil948 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to be more careful while walking around stores and calling strangers fat
A guy called my โฌ$ยฃ100% true story bullshit while I was telling it. So, I stopped everything, mentioned 30 people that turned out to be Albert Einstein & told him "your turn, bitch." He clapped and ran off. ๐
And then the whole Starbucks laughed and bought her free Starbucks for life
YEROCC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*goea down for first pushup and cant get up and requires a hospital stretcher and a car jack to help her get up *youhhhhrrre haaaa tuurrrrnn haaa bitch
It's kinda hard to knock out 30 pushups and immediately get back up without being at least a little short of breath, so I just like imagining her saying "your turn, bitch" while trying to catch her breath lmao
maahc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I shut my office door and try 30 push-ups? But why? Why am I tempted? Maybe it's this coffee...
Idarola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped everything, did 30 push-ups, then looked up and he was gone because that took a while and no one has time to wait for me to do push ups for like 3 minutes.
If I called someone fat and they dropped to the floor I wouldn't stand around watching them. I'd be like "damn, this person is out of their fucking mind" and walk away.
Lol. Even female soldiers don't typically do 30 push ups. More like 14, and they struggle with those. Meanwhile the male soldiers get to enjoy 62, bare minimum.
Why would this person think anyone would believe this story. From the first line it is bullshit. Who the fuck would go up to someone who is working and call them fat out of the blue? Like does this person do this to EVERY fat person he sees? "...You're fat."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bet she did 30 jack pressups. Or 30 piss-easy lady ones.
Holley Mangold is an olympic weightlifter. She could probably do quite a few push ups. She has done quite well for herself. She is also heavier than her sibling... former New York Jets starting center Nick Mangold. So you can definitely be fat, and strong. So this had to be among the dumbest things ive seen ever. Im not criticizing the redditor, im criticizing the original person.
Then everyone clapped and showered her with $100% bills and another coworker who turned out to be Einstein yelled BURN! and started hitting her coworker with a fly swatter.
Thank you TheHypnoticGamer for your submission to /r/thatHappened! Unfortunately it was removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 1. Post incredibly true stories that totally actually happened.
This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories. Take a moment before posting. The following are not allowed:
Greentext. AdviceAnimals. Memes or image macros. Confessions. Texts. Tweets. Jokes. Forwards from Grandma. Your post must be a story. Not a sentence or a picture with text.
If your story is obviously true or verifiable, it will be removed.
I could do 50 back when I was in shape. Which I know probably sounds like bullshit, but I could. Of course I also lifted weights for like, three hours a day, six days a week. I was a firefighter and had to work really hard to be able to do the job.
So it's not totally impossible. But yeah, AFAIK most women can't do that many pushups.
No I am not here calling people out - But you look around and see what the majority of people look like right? im not saying its impossible by any means. I am simply putting numbers to the story, and I hope you understand that the ability to do 30 or 50 pushups is extemely rare in human females.
Also the back needs to be at least parallel with the back of the arms, just saying
Yep. My dad is an ex drill instructor and took the time to teach me proper form for things like pushups and running. It did take me a long time to use proper form for squats, however.
But yeah, I've just always been unusually strong for a woman. Put muscle on easier than other girls. I have some weird hormonal stuff going on, so I'm assuming that was always a contributing factor. Had slightly higher than normal testosterone as a teen. If I had been more "normal" I obviously wouldn't have performed quite as well, physically.
It was at that very moment Fred realized the man doing push-ups reminded him of a childhood nightmare he never forgot.
Fred's dream was Jabba the Hutt laying facedown over Princess Leia devouring her from our world.
meglo92 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried, but -- am fat chick (BMI = 30.) But am also very strong (i.e., fat chick with relatively narrow waist, large thighs, large shoulders and therefore not the blubber tub one thinks of when one thinks of "fat chick"). I can easily knock out 30 good form push ups. I lift 3 x a week. I run. Still fat! But strong. So it's very possible that this actually happened. That said, the guy probably apologized and ran off because this is a crazy thing to do at work.
I don't think I'd ever want a pussy that gets butthurt over me telling them that women usually can't perform outstanding feats of strength. Sounds like the type of woman who would be so naive as to disagree with that would be a crazed, androgynous SJW that didn't get enough love as a kid.
Saved comment
genniferlaurence ยท 8338 points ยท Posted at 04:26:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Your turn bitch."
"I said you were fat, not that you couldn't do pushups, you fucking weirdo"
kinder_teach ยท 2529 points ยท Posted at 07:08:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At which point she did 50 sit ups and said "your move, dick"
MrChivalrious ยท 922 points ยท Posted at 08:23:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At which point Ludacris goes home and writes a hit song.
ludabot ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 08:23:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna get you in the Georgia Dome on the fifty yard line
While the Dirty Birds kick for t'ree
DOOMGUY_AMA ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 10:10:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you like it in the club we can do it in the dj booth
Or in the back of the VIP
[deleted] ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 10:13:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tomatoaway ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:36:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then we take it back to mine,
For some wine and some Daim,
So that I can pay you tree fiddy
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:39:42 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bionicback ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 11:47:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That went south quickly.
Gliste ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:12:51 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Southern Hospitality
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bleed damage
rumbusiness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck?
ThatRedditerGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ain't fucking at the club, put yo clothes back on.
NK1337 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 11:40:24 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BertMacGyver ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's your MOVE BITCH! DO 50 SQUATS! DO 50 SQUATS BITCH! DO 50 SQUATS!
freakierchicken ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 11:48:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At which point she went deaf in one ear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What!?
freakierchicken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:53:44 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
situps make you go deaf
CokeZ3ro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
freakierchicken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:58:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't stopped thinking about it
CokeZ3ro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:59:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's freaky, just how suddenly shit like that can happen.
garrisonjenner2016 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:31:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm not your dick, asshole"
Davethemann ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:05:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not your buddy, guy
MrPerson95 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:25:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not your guy, friend.
IMCHAPIN ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 09:42:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know that I'm liable to be posted back i On this sub, but that doesn't preclude the possibility to do sit ups. I don't believe I'm too special of a person, but I was able to do near 800 sit ups in about 2-4hours while being considered just barely morbidly obese. I was determined to be able to say "I did 1000 sit ups" and, while I did say that to everyone I know, I only did about 860.
H41KU ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 09:57:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's anywhere from 7-4 situps a minute. That seems believable, if you had alright endurance and maybe a small break between sets.
Cityyeg123 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:17:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7-4 sit ups a minute? That's not even working out at that point, that's like around 9ish seconds a sit up. Being able to do 40 in one minute is average
MrGords ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:39:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but he said that ~800 situps in a couple hours was believable, not that it was an intense workout
Cityyeg123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally if he left it to his first sentence. But then saying you'd need alright endurance and breaks makes it sound like he's trying to say it's an achievement of some kind
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except a morbidly obese person cant theoretically make a sit up movement cuz they are so goddamn fucking fat
PrivateCaboose ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ~300lbs at 6'2" which plops me in the Morbidly Obese category (working on it), and I can definitely do a complete sit-up...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
300/74" absolutely does not make you morbidly obese. Obese, yes, and even in the upper range, but not morbidly.
https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/lose_wt/BMI/bmi_tbl.pdf
p.s. Good for you for working on it! You're awesome, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
PrivateCaboose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:42 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fudged a little by way of "approximately 300", as of last weigh in I'm 308 which puts me just barely nudging into the Morbidly Obese territory.
Talk to me in a week and hopefully that won't be the case!
IMCHAPIN ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. I don't remember exactly, but I did maybe 20 without slowing down and started slowing and got to about a hundred for my first break of 5-10 minutes. Then I got to like 30 for my second break. 10 for a next few breaks (still about 5 minutes). And then it was like 2-3 sit ups for each break (those got down to 2 minutes for a break ) and I got to one sit up per break, but the breaks were about a minute by then.
At about 860 I tired out and could go any more. Than I read that sit ups weren't the best for losing weight, so I never did them again.
I don't remember the breaks exactly. Maybe it's significantly different, but I did get to one hundred without a break longer than 10 seconds and I did eventually get to one sit up per break.
asianmom69 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 10:52:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were morbidly obese, wouldn't it be more like a crunch compared to a sit-up?
Nectomancer ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 11:36:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just kinda bob your head as fast as you can
gatorhound ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:07:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like me eating fried chicken wings, right?
Ubereem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like your mom in my car.
IMCHAPIN ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:16:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it was complete sit ups. My theory is that, although I reached the weight to be considered morbidly obese, (from the bmi I took from class that year) a good amount is actually muscle.
I look fat. If you were to see me, you would think "damn he's fat." If you saw only the top part of me, (above the man boobs) you would You couldn't tell I was fat. Now that I've gained weight since then, it's no longer the case, but it was at the time. Hopefully that changes within a year.
gleaped ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:46:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a theory a lot of people have. But its because they are absolutely wrong and delusional about their current physical fitness. Its not hard to change, eat better lift a little consistently you will be in shape in a year depending on how serious you are.
IMCHAPIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not saying I'm not fat. I'm saying I had enough muscle or whatever to do about 800 sit ups despite being considered morbidly obese at the time. I'm not delusional, I am definitely fat, but I also have muscle underneath.
I do kettlebell workouts every 3 days, and go running with my dog everyday... I am trying to lose the weight I have. When I was younger (during the time i did the sit ups) I also took martial art classes for years where is basically jumped for an hour every weekday. I'm definitely fat, but I'm not just the average fat guy that sat around doing nothing.
TheGreatBarrier ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 11:13:23 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lying is bad mmmmkay
IMCHAPIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See there you go. No one believes and now I belong as a post on this sub.
YEROCC ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:09:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did 42 thousand pushups in 30 seconds, and i have to be physically moved in the back of a small ute. Im not too spcial im just 840 pounds, but i like to tell people im a 1000 to make it sound better
monsterflake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/sdrgTZS.png
Ubereem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin amateur.
wayn123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to workout a lot when I was younger, I would take a little over 20 minutes to do 500 situps, I am nearing 60 now so I only walk for exercise now. I have lots of hernias that I probably got from working out too much.
squishsasquach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice work! Everyone starts somewhere. Be proud of making a goal and doing your best to achieve it! Serious question, how bad did you hurt the next few days?
IMCHAPIN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been years since it happened, but it did hurt like hell the next day. I'm pretty sure I was slightly bent over throughout the day. But that is all I remember.
squishsasquach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm proud of your effort, and as a random Internet person, my opinion matters greatly!
theundeadturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:50 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At which point the whole situation escalated to them doing no handed push ups "your move, cunt"
MCRusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then she attempts pullups but can't do one.
kinder_teach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instead pulled the continent downwards
EPICISO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:56:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
50 sit ups is easy even if you fat(fat not obese)
kinder_teach ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And 30 push ups hardly an athlete makes
EPICISO ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:27:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
NinjaFistOfPain ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:55:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get lost, fattie.
Newman4185 ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 07:26:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think she was referring to these pushups, most likely Flintstones.
terry10101001 ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 07:32:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i could have 100 of those
Wendys_frys ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 07:53:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna od on push-ups and nobody can stop me.
Lemonade__728 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
META
sabretoooth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:25:50 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Show off...
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 09:28:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ashwhenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The spongebob ones are pretty good.
boatsnprose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a Flinstones' one for nostalgia's sake.
UpVotesOutForHarambe ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 08:15:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You said bitch tho?
DeniCevap ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 09:21:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I said.. I said.. Biiiiiitch
jclss99 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:41:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you look into her eyes while saying it?
underthesign88 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 11:01:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well it's not exactly fair, he's got all this weight that's helping him go down"
Phooey-Kablooey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and she doesn't have to/can't go down as low to the floor.
DudeCrabb ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:19:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a point of obesity (230 odd pounds) and i did pushups all summer. Highest i ever did was 44 pushups. Still fat tho
Ibreathelotsofair ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 12:59:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Now do that every day until you aren't fat you fat fuck"
Sorry, that was rude, I'm just on edge from some fat lady calling me a bitch at Ross yesterday. She did like 3 push-ups and then vomited everywhere and was cursing and it was awful.
Ubereem ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:11:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ross
Rayn211 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:39:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's easy to do pushups when your stomach prevents you from going down more than a few inches.
Thumperings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no not really, and she definitely didn't do 4
_luftwaffle_ss_ ยท 1785 points ยท Posted at 06:28:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine how awkward it would be to wait for that person to finish their push ups, before leaving
StrongDPHT ยท 2389 points ยท Posted at 08:10:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wow, you'reโฆ.largerโฆthan You look in the pictures"
slowly and painfully gets into pushup position onto a filthy floor
sweats profusely already, gravity pulling her arm and leg flaps down, stomach nearly touching the floor
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "1"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "2"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "3"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "4"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "5"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "6"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "7"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "8"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "9"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "10"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "11"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "12"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "13"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "14"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "15"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "16"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "17"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "18"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "19"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "20"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "21"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "22"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "23"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "24"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "25"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "26"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "27"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "28"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "29"
"Hhhhnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg"
Breathes heavily "30"
sweat pouring from all of her stomach flaps, along with every other flap
"Your"โฆgasps uncontrollably for air..."turn"โฆ dies
The guy had already left 45 minutes earlier however, and she was blinded from all the blood running to her head from attempting to stand up.
Edit: thanks for the gold!
AK_Happy ยท 381 points ยท Posted at 12:03:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha the first part about being larger than the pictures. Probably exactly what happened. "SOME RANDOM GUY CALLED ME FAT!"
Davethemann ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 15:05:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something jim gaffigan would say
TooM3R ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 12:48:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like a greentext for some reason
nsfwdatabase ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:08:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...probably because it's the same format just without the >
TooM3R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I guess, I just didn't know if it was intentional or not.
Demhdag ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:58:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like this one
Abandoned_In_Alabama ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 13:56:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god how I miss fat people stories
-peanutbuttervibes- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:52:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still around! Not FPH of course but FPS
optionallycrazy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah people just never think. Just imagine as he's standing there and he's just waiting around clearing his throats and looking at his watch. I mean I'd imagine someone calling someone such things wouldn't really care to stay around.
Watertor ยท 295 points ยท Posted at 10:58:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you think about the whole exchange it's just as awkward.
No context, just a human approaches another human performing a service.
Human 1: "You are obese"
Human 2: Performs 30 push ups. "It is now your turn."
Human 1: "Incorrect" proceeds to sprint away.
Manager: "You have achieved a promotion. Acquiesce immediately."
Human 2: "These are truly the last days."
...I had a point somewhere in there.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 14:17:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Dwight
Steam-Crow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I post on Twitter I think, "Would an idiot post this?", and if they would, I do not post that thing.
g-g-g-ghosts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like Godspeed you black emperor
HysteriacTheSecond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HUMAN 1: Kiss me, you're beautiful - these are truly the last days.
HUMAN 2: (grabs hand)
(exeunt to IT, as in DAYDREAM or FEVER)
Watertor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice catch. Yes, I'm basically in love with that beginning monologue.
ChickenWithATopHat ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 06:50:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just walk out on a lardass doing 30 push-ups. Do you not understand these unwritten rules?!
_luftwaffle_ss_ ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:02:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I'm sorry for forgetting the most important social rules
AutumnLeaves1939 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:05:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must be why he ran
Loser_pushing_30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:51 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They probably ate push up pops and we are misreading this text.
_luftwaffle_ss_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes a lot more sense
snazzybiscuit ยท 1273 points ยท Posted at 04:43:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so he stood there in silence and watched her do 30 push ups?
Izzeheh ยท 560 points ยท Posted at 06:02:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a patient bully, with plenty of time to be proven wrong.
Doctor_Crunchwrap ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 13:32:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you like bullshit like this, go over to r/Prorevenge. People in that sub believe literally anything as long as you type it in a long story.
Your comment reminded me of a story there about pranksters bringing in $28 in pennies to pay with for stuff they didn't even need, and the cashier counted it for two hours. They wanted people to believe the story that the pranksters waited two full hours while the cashier reversed a prank on them. I was downvoted and ridiculed for calling bullshit on it, I couldn't believe that people accepted that story as truth
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:07:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:24:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The guy on there that got a whole factory shut down to get back at his high school nemesis or some shit like that is a favorite of mine.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:58:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dolly_Lama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:00 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't know why I keep reading that sub. I guess because I like creative writing, but let's face it, at this point it isn't very creative. Formulaic, yes. Creative, not so much.
Ragefan66 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:24:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, got made fun of in high school by two people so he turned a shitty town even shittier by firing 100+ random employees and shutting down the only stable job they had in the town. And then he drives by a few years later and it's like 100X more ghetto, what a fuckin' joke
smellslikecat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:45:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peak reddit.
AaronWaters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:08 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hoped the story about a guy daring his friend to ruin his life would be in the top few stories.
Optix_Tunes ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Dr. Killjoy? I'm from the press and I must know... How do you go through a day with no fun? If you read a story about how a puppy got rescued do you scruff and call it fake and gay? When your children tell you about that thing they did in school, do you tell them cool story bro $100%? Our readers must know!
Doctor_Crunchwrap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually a proctologist. I can tell your sphincter has been dilated to a full 15 mm instead of its average 5. What is it that caused such butt hurt for you?
All joking aside, the actual story that I was talking about literally ended in applause. His coworkers applauded him for spending two hours counting pennies, while those darned bullies just stood there and watched. Even his manager approved of this blatant waste of time
Lonnbeimnech ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 07:21:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's actually a wandering gym instructor using the power of reverse psychology to help fat people.
At push-up 4 she felt she couldn't breathe and her arms shook but a combination of his sneering face and sharp blasts of his training whistle kept her going for the 35 minutes it took.
People say that only for the fact he had to leave and chase a fatter person he saw walk past the shop she'd still be there, on roughly push-up 38.
LeDucky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You, I like you.
Calm_down_Its_me ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 09:14:16 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think this person really underestimated how long it takes to do 30 push ups. Definitely enough time for a super awkward silence.
Vladthewarrior ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:12:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the fastest I've ever graded/seen anyone knocking out pushups was a little under one a second.
So 25-30 seconds for this. Definitely a long awkward silence right there.
LordNoodles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean. I assume she would be counting loudly so I don't think it'd be awkward silence. Have you ever done push ups with other people around?
Bigwood69 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 10:13:53 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like this person thought long and hard to settle on a number of push ups that seemed both impressive and plausible, but achieved neither.
Tremaparagon ยท 373 points ยท Posted at 05:44:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining him as an anime character watching this unfold, as his face makes a twitching motion while stuck in that expression of shock and disbelief
like so
funkless_eck ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 08:07:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
too loudly: HUH? WHA?!
ob9410 ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 08:10:50 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
N-NANI?!
funkless_eck ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 08:12:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(ear-splitting volume:) AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. (very quietly:) hmm, a challenger
chiderino ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 10:01:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get outta here ya damn weebs
funkless_eck ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:02:23 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely haven't watched anime in over 10 years, glad to see my pastiche holds up.
ob9410 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:36:49 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tch... Anata o yowa seru
Snackolich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Very well, I acknowledge you as my rival.
HORSEBLUES ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 08:52:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
B-BAKA!
taylor_ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:46:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
calm down u weeb
Tremaparagon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nani the fuck did you just fucking iimasu about watashi, you chiisai bitch desuka? Watashiโll have anata know that watashi graduated top of my class in Nihongo 3, and watashiโve been involved in iroirona Nihongo tutoring sessions, and watashi have over sanbyaku perfect test scores. Watashi am trained in kanji, and watashi is the top letter writer in all of southern California. Anata are nothing to watashi but just another weaboo. Watashi will korosu anata the fuck out with vocabulary the likes of which has never been mimasuโd before on this continent, mark watashino fucking words. Anata thinks anata can get away with hanashimasing that kuso to watashi over the intaaneto? Omou again, fucker. As we hanashimasu, watashi am contacting watashino secret netto of otakus across the USA, and anatano IP is being traced right now so you better junbishimasu for the ame, ujimushi. The ame that korosuโs the pathetic chiisai thing anata calls anatano life. Youโre fucking shinimashitaโd, akachan.
brucetwarzen ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:10:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first 5 took 10 seconds. The next one 2 minutes... Then he left. Bitch
HuskyTheNubbin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:12:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't say it's a her. This could be a chunky dude rattling out those for another dude to watch
Qari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These stories never make sense, but what makes even less is the likes/retweets.
JosephND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:33 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For 60 minutes
Drozz42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something tells me he didn't wait an hour for her to do 30 push ups.
Tarantulady ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 07:21:23 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's nothing. Check this out:
Some guy comes up to me at work and screams, "You can't even do 30 push-ups!" Then I pulled up my shirt and did the truffle shuffle for a full minute. All the customers held their breath in awe. Then I said, "your turn bitch." He pissed himself and cried out the door in a haze of losing. I got Employee Of The Month, and my boss fired himself, promoted me to boss, and I gave me a $100% raise.
Colonel_Potoo ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:35:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will need an explanation for "truffle shuffle"... I think I know and I fear I don't want it to be what I think it is...
slightmingling ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 09:55:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/t/funny/tsuq4Vm
Colonel_Potoo ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:58:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have questions.
Caboose727 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 10:25:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Goonies.
brownnick7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:39:16 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So do I. The first, how dare you?
AragorntheMighty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But if he fired himself first, how could he have promoted you afterwards? Somethings not adding up here.
Tarantulady ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:10 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hired him as my assistant to the boss.
Dolly_Lama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:53 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm applauding you from here!
autoposting_system ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much more plausible than original post
heyyouknowmeto ยท 466 points ยท Posted at 02:43:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They left out this happened in a Starbucks.
terry10101001 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 07:32:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in the bathrooms
idrankforthegov ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:56:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I thought Starbacks was a brand of restroom stores, your telling me that there is a non restroom part of them?
MrSwoleNutzz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:02:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They sell drinks so that it's easier to pee.
sizl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:31:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the homeless shower?
IndoorCatSyndrome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's Target.
jack_hof ยท 1623 points ยท Posted at 02:30:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assume everybody clapped?
fictionthatspulp ยท 892 points ยท Posted at 02:52:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was there. Everyone clapped and tossed 100 dollar bills at them. You shoulda been there.
Vurtigone ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 06:12:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liar. You weren't there. If you were you would have seen them approach her tentatively and then solemnly place the $100 bills at her feet and then slowly back away, never turning their backs upon her and keeping their eyes downcast from her magnificence. And boy, you better believe those bills were as crisp and green as summer grass.
Yoboiyogotti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bills??? Clearly they placed gold frankincense and myr
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:23:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God I have never seen this comment chain before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vurtigone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:25:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you should drop in more often. We're open from 8 till 27
Ey3_913 ยท 266 points ยท Posted at 06:04:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean crispy $100% bills
Ikillesuper ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:49:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeh I threw bills. Gas bill, electric bill, car payment bill. I can't afford that shit.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:18:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was like a scene out of "a requiem for a dream" except instead of doing a double ended dildo they were doing pushups . . . and they were morbidly obese
King_Malaka ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 04:27:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was also promoted to the ceo of Starbucks
stimpfo ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 04:54:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like CEO of the world
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:33:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Daudzoe ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 08:50:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And she found out she was CEO of Mars too
YCNTIBU ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 09:31:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M&M Mars no doubt.....because she's fat.
HamsterGutz1 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:36:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She likes the manatee gray M&Ms
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:27:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got that reference
Saltire_Blue ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 08:08:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Including her, she clapped between every push up
Kaneshadow ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:55:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The whole store broke out in applesauce and her manager gave her a promotion and a $100% raise
Got-A-Migraine ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:59:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now she's pregnant
bobbyzee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:07:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the guy fainted!
Apocoflips ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:40:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obama was there. Afterwards he called her the peak of human fitness and wit, and then gave a motivational speech.
ActualSupervillain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:50:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and a bus stood up
DGsirb1978 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Martin Shkreli appeared
xorbus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:03:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her boobs clapped through most of it.
Mystery266 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ๐ Know ๐ I ๐ Did ๐
ARN_01D ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 03:32:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She works as a bus driver. The guy ran off to brace for impact.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:11:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*keeps an eye on r/watchpeopledie juuuuust in case
Perthsworst ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 06:10:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think when he ran off that was "his turn". Like, sure you can do pushups, I didn't say you were weak, try and chase me, fatty.
RoxasForTheWin ยท 591 points ยท Posted at 02:37:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow pushups, I'm sooooo impressed
[deleted] ยท 392 points ยท Posted at 06:04:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sir_Slamalot ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 06:18:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From now on I'll tell myself the reason I can't do push-ups is because I'm too fit and large, and it's the sciency muscle shit that's stopping me
dannycake ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 08:47:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly 30 push ups done correctly is kinda hard though. I always ask people to do push ups when the subject comes up and somehow people's interpretation of them ends up looking somewhere inbetween doing a yoga pose and fucking the ground.
I'm not exactly a beast but I could do a bodybuilders 2 plate bench for a small amount of reps. Push ups are tough. Maybe when I was like 130 Pounds instead of 175 they were easy but I might of had bad form then. I don't even know lol. But I can barely do 50 and it's something I had as a goal of mine. 30 from someone who doesn't work out would be pretty nutty.
Michamus ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 10:55:16 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the first army physical fitness test in basic training is alway hilarious. You get these guys saying they did 50 push-ups and their score comes back zero.
oss_spy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:29:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you join the 41 club and hate yourself
2580374 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 09:07:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I can barely do 50" come on bro at 12 my arms are basically regotini
HamsterGutz1 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 10:38:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an interesting spelling of rigatoni.
2580374 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an interesting spell of guts
Remmylord ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 10:09:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get to like 17 anf my body is like "nahhhhhhhhh" and then goes into nap mode.
2580374 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if we want to keep lying about how many we can do, I do 18 then watch got
skwacky ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:37:50 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I usually get to just above however many you can do and then eat a pack of Mike n Ikes
LeDuffman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the army, so push-ups are a pretty important thing for us. When we get graded for a test we have to have good form too or it doesn't count. When I first joined I was 5'10 231 pounds. My first PT test I was able to do 22 pushups in 2 minutes. My last PT test after finishing all my training I was 183 pounds and did 74 pushups in 2 minutes which is a maxed 100 score.
Even with the 50 pounds of weight loss Im a broad and stocky guy. I had to gain a lot of strength in my chest to be able to push like the smaller guys.
Umarill ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:24:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was quite surprising to me. I started doing body-weight fitness earlier this year after being way too skinny for a long time, and after watching some videos to get a beginner routine and form advice, I realized how terrible push ups are done by the huge majority of the people, especially how they're portrayed movies.
Funny how the moment you get proper form it gets 10x harder. I guess some people care more about their reps than the effect it has.
Gainzwizard ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:12:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you're exactly right. I mean I am in the extreme category for LBM and strength as a former PLer sitting at 245lbs, and my record for full ROM pushups in 2 minutes was 98, hard as fuck. Being heavy sucks for bodyweight exercise performance lmao. Also you're around 175lbs benching 2 plate that is awesome mate congrats on being strong as fuck relative to the normies!
When I was running a Personal Training business seeing the idea of "pushups" vs. The reality of doing a real one in the mind of beginners was interesting.
Most people cannot do a SINGLE proper form pushup, not one. In fact I am usually impressed when they can.
No one ever does actual, real chest touching the ground with body in a straight line no arch in the back heels in line with toes, pushups.
Bending your arms to 90 degrees is merely doing the EASIEST portion of the movement without completing a single rep yet most brag about doing 30 of those in one go lmao
VIOLENT_WIENER_STORM ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:20:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two plates of nachos.
Grakchawwaa ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 10:18:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamveryfit
Gainzwizard ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 10:31:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot what subreddit this is, fuck my lack of self awareness lmao yeah I guess that came off pretty unnecessarily "braggy".
I have nothing to prove or gain from what I said, nor do I need validation but I just suck at brevity I guess.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:51:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't wrong though, he's just being cheeky
_uare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is very fit though, those subs are usually reserved for people who aren't x but think they are
Grakchawwaa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:30:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can be smart and still belong to /r/iamverysmart: remember Neil?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:43:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:48:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude a push up isnt a push up unless your chest touches the ground this is the general rule. AT LEAST come within an inch of the ground but most people just completely butcher the exercise and will think they are better than everybody else because they can do so many
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, nature? A push up exists to activate your pectorial muscles as much as possible using your own body weight, and there is one and only one way to do this most optimally. This isnt a fun little thing you do where you go up and down as many times as you can, it doesnt matter how many push ups you do, what matters are the results in your muslces.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dude... why would i not gatekeep pushups? We're talking about push ups here and about certain amounts certain people can do so we need to follow a certain standard otherwise all our definitions are all over the place. And it just so happens that there IS a correct way to do push ups and this should be the way you consider when you talk about how many push ups a given person can do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In most exercises (though I think push ups are excluded) improper form can lead to injury, as well as being a general waste of time. You want to have proper form so that you make the most progress for the amount of time you put in, and I think anyone would agree with that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you dont touch the ground with your chest you WILL get sloppy, you cant see how far your chest is from the floor so might as well touch it since that is the most optimal thing to do anyway. As far as i know heel position doesnt really matter for regular push ups, at least not regarding this particular context.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gatekeep? Surely an exercise has some actual standards to it...
Sporocarp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"kinda hard", if you don't work out and is obese as well, it is completely impossible. I'm pretty lean, 74kg 182cm and I can barely do 30.
LoveCandiceSwanepoel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two plate ? You mean 2 45s on each side on a 45 barbell or 2 total cuz the former would put you near the top percentage of men especially if you did that much while weighing only 130
Luvs_to_splooge_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two plate means two on each side, so 220lbs or 100kg. Far from the top, although definitely great if you only weigh 130lbs.
killmetonight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:53 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
225lbs, not 220lb. 4 plates x 45lbs + 45lb barbell = 225lbs.
LoveCandiceSwanepoel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:40 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what i meant. For his weight if you look up the stats he's in the top percentage.
Dietly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to be able to do a bare minimum of 46 push-ups to pass the army fitness test. It's really not a lot at all for a healthy adult male. I think women only have to do 26 though, so maybe 30 push-ups for a woman is impressive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? 30 proper pressups, as in arms shoulder width apart, body straight and head up, is pretty easy for a lanky prick like me, of course with a lot of practice, but still.
I'd say doing 30 within 2 minutes is hard for most people.
Ilovecharli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:29 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Used to do 40-50 elevated push-ups pretty easily. Then my rotator cuff started hurting, I learned to do them the right way, and now 20 can be a struggle. (I'm pretty skinny but in decent shape,)
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:59:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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Recore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah they definitely can't unless they do some sort of activity that gives them that strength. Either way they have to at least be active.
I've never seen a fat guy try a pushup though so I can't comment on that.
marho ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:54:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5'6 220 is morbidly obese
ZazMan117 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:27:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am 5"8 and 225, am obese.
Yes I hate myself.
;____;
ifeellikemoses ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:46:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youuuuuu caaaan dooooo ittttttt ๐๐
ZazMan117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:24 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<3
Thank you. I so desperately want to lose weight, I might actually give it a real full hearted try again.
kalbiking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna be accountability buddies? I'm 5'8'' and I'd venture to say around 210. I wanna not hate myself :(
ZazMan117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:54 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh, yeah.
As soon as my college semester starts back up I'm gonna join the boxing club. Used to be really into martial arts as a kid but stuff sorta came up
Brendanm132 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 10:21:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think bmi-wise 225 is just overweight, bordering on obese. Either way don't hate yourself! Reddit for some fucked up reason loves to hate on anyone without visible abs, but who cares about people like that. Most people don't give a shit what you look like, just how you are. So be you and don't hate yourself!
turkeyblatwrap ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:55:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 5'8" it's obese.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:58:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At 6ft2" id still consider that fucking fat
Luvs_to_splooge_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:46:51 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5'8 225 is BMI 34.1, so just shy of morbidly obese.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:51 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe check the charts first dude.
Even at 5'11 anything over 200ish is obese
ZazMan117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:12 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah sure man, it's not about what other people kinda perpetuate. I miss the person I was, and how nice clothes fitted me. I liked being able to float around the place during TaeKwon-Do and flip out of bed.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 09:03:33 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marho ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 09:04:49 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry! I forgot that we are in the age of alternative facts.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:06:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:07:49 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have realized whom I was messing with! ๐ฑ
1sagas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you enjoy inventing straw men?
Effimero89 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:13:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
YAAAASSSSS OMG THIS!!!
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 11:07:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calling bullshit. Someone who is skinny but doesn't work out won't be able to just magically do a bunch of push ups and pull-ups. It also has a lot to do with limb ratio, and not just body weight. Even the most fit lean dudes in our platoon topped out at like 70 push-ups. No more talking out of your ass for you
Domoda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am skinny twig who doesn't work out. I can do like 4 push-ups. What even is upper body strength
elemeNt_rush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A couple of years ago when I was 130 ish pounds I could almost every time cross 30 push ups. Now at 170 I can't go past 20 on a good day. Wasn't physically fit then, nor I am now.
Being skinny helps.
Deathflid ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:16:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also form, I'm a fit guy, and with awful form I can do press-ups maybe forever, you just cheat. With proper form 30 isn't an easy task.
Quintronaquar ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:29:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: scrawny motherfucker that can do infinite pushups and pullups yet I spend all day inside on reddit
Dday141 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:28:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also can confirm. Was fatass motherfucker at 6ft 210lbs. Couldn't do a push-up to save my life.
not_mantiteo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:42:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
ShetlandJames ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:13:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unlike Stanley Hudson who has all this weight helping him get down
runnyyyy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:40:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eh, I'm pretty out of shape and can do about 15. I bet those 30 pushups, if they had happened, were also the lazy "women's pushup" where you do them on your knees. those are super easy
SodlidDesu ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:45:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother is like 300 pounds. He knows he's a fat guy but let me tell you from experience, He could've been a linebacker if it wasn't for all the diabetus... Type 1 too. He wears weights while working out sometimes too.
InvisibleEar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:14:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The beetus gets us all ;_;
nooblenob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has type 1 diabetes, but he's extremely skinny because of it, he is 5"10 and weighs 125lbs. He has tried to gain weight but alas, no such luck unfortunately.
Remmylord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The alternate Dwight Schrute timeline.
Vaztes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can play sports at a pretty high lvl even with diabetes. Obviously takes commitment to lose/gain weight and experience with controlling your sugar
smoknblunt6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't outrun your fork. Try getting him on a low carb, low sugar and high protein diet. If he's truly muscular like you say, he'll bulk up quick.
SodlidDesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a grow man though and is free not to take my advice though, as I've found.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grown child
SodlidDesu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:32:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he has a job, an apartment, a wife, two cars and pays all his bills on time. He may be a big guy (u u u u) but he's certainly not a child just because he doesn't want to stop drinking that damn 'diet' soda.
lirrsucks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm scrawny and I work out (mostly rowing) 3-4x a week, I can't do 10 pull-ups, these scrawny motherfuckers are working out.
ozmethod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With all due respect, if you are scrawny why are you doing mostly rows? Is your goal to get smaller?
lirrsucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:45 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a condition where I get really really dizzy if I do other exercises that have me standing up. Rowing is the only cardiovascular exercise I can do that doesn't get me dizzy since it's sitting down.
ozmethod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:45 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to hear that, but my comment was more along the lines of, if you're already scrawny, and you're at the gym, why are you doing cardio at all? Seems like a simple weightlifting routine would do you more good overall, and you could easily adapt one to keeps you seated.
lirrsucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:08 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do some weightlifting (I'm a woman) but the cardio also helps with my condition (I have POTS).
Zulous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Having heavier legs than your upper body is one of the issues
RyanDegnan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're fat enough push-ups can actually get easier. Less range of motion before your torso touches the ground.
Tseiqyu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse you i'm light af and I can do like, 3 pushups
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean when you're that much of a lard monster, your gut is probably supporting you the whole time.
FartWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:24 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, i'm a little fat and 25 pushups is a challenge
iceicepetya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 5'6 110 pound dude that sits on his ass all day and I can do about 10 pull ups no problem. It will take me like a couple of weeks of training to double that
McClain3000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:08:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't know anygirl who can do 30 push-ups, better yet a girl who could be described as fat.
alittlebitneverhurt ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 03:33:50 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, if this is a woman, I'd be pretty impressed if she was able to do 30 legitimate push ups without stopping, none of that kneeling push up garbage.
Rawbs ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:35:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A
fatstrong woman, mind you.hexane360 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:21:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And 90 degree push ups too. So many people just bend their arms slightly and rush through them. Not even close
AK_Happy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:00:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And flare their elbows
BlackHawksHockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they just bob their head
stimpfo ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:56:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this downvoted so heavily. I actually have only one female friend in mind who could do that without a doubt. And don't "she" got called fat.
What am I even doing nothing happened anyway
alittlebitneverhurt ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 06:05:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, I honestly think less than 50% of adult males could do 30 straight push ups with good form and biologically speaking, women have less upper body strength then men. Idk if people just don't understand that 30 push ups really isn't all that easy or what.
SodlidDesu ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 06:49:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A 17-21 year old female needs to be able to complete 19 push ups with proper form to pass their APFT and stay in the Army.
A 17-21 year old male needs to be able to complete 42 push ups with proper form to pass their APFT and stay in the Army.
I know we can't entirely extrapolate civilian physical fitness statistics from this data but we can say without a doubt that 30 push ups for a woman is an impressive amount of push ups, skinny or fat.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:53:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The APFT (and DoD regs across all branches) use such weird metrics, I've had friends who Excel in the tests and get almost 300 but ultimately fail due to exceeding max weight for their height or having a little too much body fat. Mind you, I've never served so maybe I'm missing something, but too many stories have pointed me to that conclusion.
_okcody ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:28:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FYI if you exceed the weight limit for your height, you get taped. You'll easily pass tape unless you're obese. Soldiers that work out often get taped because muscle is very dense and causes them to be much heavier. You can even be chubby and still pass tape, it's really not that hard. Unless you're hyper-bulking and have crazy massive muscles under your beer belly, you're not getting close to scoring 300 on the APFT while failing tape. I have seen a SSG that powerlifts + cycles to work everyday and has a big belly but even he passes tape, he does not score 300s on his APFT though.
Your friend is either lying about his PT score or superhuman.
The APFT is about strength to weight ratio, and that ratio favors lean muscular types.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:37:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is taping like a caliper test? In particular the complaint I most often hear is from my gym buddies speaking about how they would have to do the test then starve themselves for a week afterwards for the weigh in, or dehydrate themselves and do the weight check and test the same day. It just seems to me that the test alone would be sufficient. But they were also all kids during their service so I bet their foresight wasnt the greatest.
BlackHawksHockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being taped in the army has been a on going issue for awhile now. Any good leader won't let the test fuck over the ones who are actually working out and full of muscle as long as their pt scores are good.
SodlidDesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, for men they measure your neck and waist. Then compare the ratio. If you're packing a paunch and have a chicken neck, you'll fall. If you've got F 1 neck, odds are you won't. For example, a 15.5in neck and a 34in waist will get you 17% body fat. Max allowable is 20% but DoD "goal" is 18%.
Basically, you can be 'overweight' and the perfect PT stud.
_okcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The tape test is kinda fucky. My tape test puts me at a BF% of 13% and I'm closer to ~17-19% (I fluctuate rapidly). It's because I have a really weird body type, I have thick ass bones and a large frame but a very thin waist. Calipers would probably put me at 19% BF right now, while tape test would put me at 12-13%. Imagine if I had a real BF% of 14-15%.... I'd probably get taped for like 8% BF.
_okcody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else answered your question but ask your friend how he manages to do 70 pushups, 80 situps, and run 2mi in 13:00 when he's got over 20-24% BF. Is he snorting lines before his APFT?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's a great question, maybe some of their horror stories of military bureaucracy were exaggerated for dramatic effect.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair though, as far as I understand, weight is a uniform srandard, not physical fitness.
diesel_rider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially impressive if fat.
Fiskpinne85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you are fat enough that your belly touches the ground
diesel_rider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:53 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shock absorbers.
Big_Burg ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:28:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Less than 20% of males could do them with good form. Probably 50% could do it with shitty form.
Vexingvexnar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're still being generous, 30 push ups is a lot, I would say 5% can do them. And I think i'm still being generous
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:10:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a healthy but lazy 18 year old male, and 35-40 is probably the top of my range in 1 go
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:09:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats what you think but statistically speaking youre fucking up your push ups just like basically everybody else. Even when it looks like you do them kinda OK you're probably still not doing them the way they are meant to be. Remember push ups arent about going up and down as much as you can they exist to activate your chest as much as possible using your own body weight. Nearly nobody can do 30 push ups this is way WAY out of the reach of any given person unless they are indeed super light and/or train their push ups occasionally. Untrained nobody can do 30. It's so easy for people to say but these same people are also convinced they know what a proper push up is supposed to be like when they dont.
41145and6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:33:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most definitely can not.
thisishowiwrite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:03:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not with a big ass stomach hanging in the way that makes one pushup about 3 centimetres
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, I'm in the army and the female standard for push ups is SIGNIFICANTLY less than males. Like if an 18 year old female did 30 push ups she would score well over 100 on the APFT whereas I fail if I do less than 42.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups isn't easy unless you're used to doing them. The average person can only do like, 5
solorzxno ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:54:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonna do 30 fucking push ups at my local library and grunt loudly
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:06:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dreth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:00:08 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And write about it on twitter
Average_human_bean ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:05:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope they mean "working" as in "working on my coloring book" in elementary school or something. It's the only way this can begin to make sense.
Demhdag ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:00:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy called me incapable of taking responsibility so I went ahead and adopted a kid then I told him "your turn bitch". He apologised and ran off
Maclimes ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:57:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This might have happened, but let's imagine what might have been the other side of the story:
couragedog ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 06:44:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had no idea push-ups made you automatically not fat.
Solkre ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:15:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have pushed up, still fat.
๐๏ธ TheHypnoticGamer ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I just showed my boss all the karma I got from this post. He gave me a 50% raise, and sucked me off while my coworkers showered me with $100 bills.
Roadman90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
was your boss's name Albert Einstein?
epicbob57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:10 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean $100% bills
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:21:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fake story, nobody clapped.
Odd-Richard ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fucking Christ are you serious
Yeazelicious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they're serious. This clearly, verifiably happened.
SweatyCorn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:05:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push-ups would have taken quite a while...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:20:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something Mac from It's Always Sunny would do/say.
iDexteRr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:12:33 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He ran off to show you you were fat because your fat ass cant run!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:31:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can be fat and still be able to do push-ups, that number doesn't even attest to your overall cardiovascular fitness or health in general
Allenba77 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:09:24 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy called me fat one time but I was too busy eating my super deluxe from 5 guys to answer.
smallbatchb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:12:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever a story ends with "they ran off" or "they just walked away" that is usually the sign that the entire story was bullshit.
Just the other day a friend told me he was at a bar, some guy stepped on his shoe and tripped, the guy got in friend's face and wanted to fight. Friend tells tripped guy "do you really want to get embarrassed in front of your girlfriend?" so the tripped guy "turned and just walked away."
I told my friend he was full of shit because he'd never have the balls to say that... he just turned and walked away.
-Pluvio- ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:39:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an awkward situation. I can't imagine any line of work where "stopping everything" to do push-ups would not just be incredibly weird.
Nebula95 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:31:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They always run off...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:52:33 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy who insulted me? Albert Einstein
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:59:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and everyone clapped
jackmanutd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:04:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you was gonna lie you could at least make it impressive
idontcare3k ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was sitting there, a mildly obese woman in here twenties. She turnt to her coworker and said she needed to lose some weight, I looked at her and suggested a nice gym, the one I go to. At that moment I saw her eyes turning red, she was foaming at the mouth. After about a minute of staring at me awkwardly she managed to blubber "Are you saying I'm fat!?" at which point she started laying on the ground, attempting to do some form of a push up. Some time passed and she stood up panting, looked me in the eyes and said it's my turn, while sweat was running down her face, as if she ran 10 kilometers. I got my coffee and left the shop. Overall my yelp review is gonna be 5/10, coffee was pretty good.
Swampeyaway1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:53:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who would just stand there and watch them do 30 push ups?
Princethor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably did knee push-ups
R_Lupin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This can't be real, nobody can only do 30 push-ups
vegpizzawithsteak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:33:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he or she is still fat. And pushups are very easy if you dont do them right.
John0Doe0Jane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:58:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the guy waited there for 30 whole push ups quivering in fear?
generic-user-1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:06:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fat guy doing pushups is easier because their fat gut reduces the range of motion required for each rep.
boxkiller2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:03:58 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if they are morbidly obese, their fat will touch the ground making it have no effort.
VoxPopping ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So stopping work to get on the ground, do push-ups and then call your co-worker a "bitch" is catalyst for managerial approval? Where do they work, a steroid manufacturer?
fay9820 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he just stand there during the 30 seconds you were doing pushups in silence just looking at you until he was roasted ? Why does this scene seem so awkward to me lmao
DevinBP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:24:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine the awkward minute of him standing there just watching her do 30 push-ups? Someone else approaches: "What is that lady doing?" And he says "Oh, her? She's making me look like a REAL asshole...."
hedgecore77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups?
ram-ok ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:37:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine how awkward it'd be waiting for someone to do 30 push ups
jaheiner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who is so fat/self conscious that they feel the need to post shit like this couldn't do 30 pushups with proper form if their fucking life depended on it.
Hybrider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:09:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Short story short she runs the UN now.
nissingno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i want the long version
p220 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:24:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I said... (looks both ways).... i said.... (quieter) biiiitch
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:19:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he legit thinks normal people can't do 30 push-ups.
Broken_Noah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:18 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy: Nice but you're still fat
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think after the fat had done about five press ups it got really awkward and by the time the fat had done 30 press ups the cringe was so bad everyone there needed hospital treatment?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea sure he ran off
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the owner gave her the keys to the store and a free 12 month subscription to a gym. Oh and everyone clapped.
Cyrado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:44:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn' 'appen
Muqaddam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about some pull ups?
Solkre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can do one, if the bar is lower than my neck
justin_West60 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then this person woke up and tripped over the hot pocket wrappers and empty cheese puff bags
chips19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I SAW THIS TWEET AND WAS GONNA POST IT HERE. damn
Weavesnatchin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She showed off her Pokemon badges afterwards too.
americanmartyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups in the military for a girl is really good.
pedone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really?
americanmartyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it would be 79 points for a female, which is passing. It would be a failure for a male, 43 points.
pedone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn
tripodworm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That manager's name? Albert Einstein.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups is pretty good. If I just called a stranger 'fat' and she did 30 in a row (with good form) it would really take the wind out of my bully sails too.
polishbroadcast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twist: they are astronauts.
rory3838 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is real i was the man
ebolalunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:19 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I was push up number 17
HollowLegMonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we're supposed to believe that a guy who DGAF enough to call a random stranger fat to their face would apologize after some push-ups?
Balage42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's easy to do push ups if your belly reaces the ground.
LWMacca24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then everyone clapped
Im_So_Original69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No thunderous cheers and applause?
Dark-Ganon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a normal reaction. In fact, it is so normal that I used to go up to fat people in the gym and call them fat just to motivate them to do 30 pushups. 60% of the time, it worked every time.
Kieranmcleish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least one of them runs.
GrapeApeDateRape ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's not exactly fair, she has all that weight helping him go down
RunawaySlav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then, the guy gave her a $100% bill. His name? Alvin Weinstein!
Testament42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A guy said I look good today. I took it as a attack on my figure and assumed he was calling me fat. I dropped down to do 30 push ups, but couldn't even do three. Co worker called the manager after I called the customer a bitch. Guy apologized to to my manager and then my manager took me to his office to tell me they have to let me go." -FTFOP
supersonic-turtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in good shape and 30 push-ups is still quite a task
skristian2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:47:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I came by and told her that he was only trying to warn her of the dangers of overeating (he is a doctor), which is true, because I was with him for the last half an hour when we saw her eating seven hamburgers in a row and drinking four beers. Then I did 50 push-ups and she could only make it 12, then she collapsed under her own weight and got diarrhea shortly after. Moral lesson: don't judge people who show legitimate concern for your own health and don't instead shame you by doing more push-ups than you can possibly make. Btw, the doctor makes at least 200 push-ups every morning.
EWSTW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet her form fucking sucked
schuylerdd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:37 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 WHOLE push-ups? Wow, that's pretty impressive.
pedone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:47:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 is only hard if you are fat.
2ND_Dinner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feel like somebody who would just randomly tell a stranger they're fat won't be polite enough to apologize 20 seconds later.
Idontknowwhatsgoinon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop up-voting this bullshit!
dueces12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then everyone stood up and applauded
mousearian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He ran off knowing she was too fat to catch him.
wrongsettings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make up stories online to feel better about myself. Your turn, bitch.
johnyIsAwesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:03 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups isnt that impressive. Im reasonably out of shape and 30 isnt very hard, not trying to brag.
ButtButtinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:51 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. I'm pretty in shape. Not just thin, but muscular. I struggle to get to 20.
johnyIsAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:49 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess its just different for different people. I can do a modest amount of pushups but i cant run for shit.
loafuscrambuckle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:20 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups isn't that impressive tbh.
notswim ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:13:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prove it. Your turn, bitch.
Wedonthaveallday ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:18:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We will wait.. awkwardly
loafuscrambuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:04 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*sweats
Izzeheh ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:03:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's impressive if you're a 250lbs woman.
fl0wdeep ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:01:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most people don't do them right though (touching the floor with your nose instead of your chest)
If you start doing them correctly, there is no way you can do 30 without having worked out.
If you're comparing yourself with the guys at the gym though then yes, 30 isn't that impressive.
antisocialmedic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:09:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it is for an average woman who doesn't spend a lot of time working out.
I can only do like, 15 knee pushups at the moment. Though I have a giant surgical scar in my stomach that feels like it's getting ripped apart even when I do that. So it will be a while before I get back to being able to do 30 normal ones. ;_;
dopesmoker200x2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really impressive for a weak, worthless fatty like me
epicbux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with good form? yeah its not that easy burrito
mbillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a woman it would put her in the top 20th percentile of women in the Army, APFT standard, so in general public that percentile probably jumps up significantly.
The top 20% of body fat would put a woman at 9% body fat which would be an incredibly thin woman.
With that said - the cross section of fat women who are capable of doing 30 pushups is incredibly few
jelde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:45 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a woman it is. Even more so if she's a fatty.
Gawernator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push-ups is a nice warm up I guess. If I remember right in the navy you needed like 50 just to get the lowest passing score on the fitness test
ARedditorCalledQuest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:24 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know in the Air Force the minimum standard varied wildly depending on age and gender.
Gawernator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:00 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does in all branches. I'm going off the most common standard, males like 18-24
The standards for women are crazy low, like 14 push-ups or something lol
Heytherefriendo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And everybody clapped and booed him out of the gym
archibob1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely didn't happen
Schmoeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then I showed him some sweet karate moves and delivered a perfect round house kick to his jabrody face...
Downvotesohoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:55 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he just stood there as her fat sweaty self was panting while doing 30 pushups.. Right..
Allenba77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:16 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I am phat. Yes I am.
TendiesOnTheFloor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out we got a BADASS over here!
Calnce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was the floor and I can confirm this happened
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how even in their fantasies these people are insecure as fuck. If some random person told me to max out push ups just so i can prove my level of fitness id tell them to go fuck themselves
I bet shes the kind of person who drones about how shes comfortable in her own body yet its blatantly clear shes desperate for validation
Phil948 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to be more careful while walking around stores and calling strangers fat
michelleiscoolyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I refuse to believe that the guy just stood there for 10 mins till she did her pushups like "yeah no pressure you get those pushups"
blakeroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I saw the original post on twitter and was just waiting to see when it would get on here
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you define push up by straight arms down to part of your torso touching the ground back to straight arms she did infinity push ups.
PlatinumKH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy called my โฌ$ยฃ100% true story bullshit while I was telling it. So, I stopped everything, mentioned 30 people that turned out to be Albert Einstein & told him "your turn, bitch." He clapped and ran off. ๐
mr_d0gMa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I get 30 up votes I'll change my story to double the amount of push-ups
derwithecarlson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:47 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet
MarkinA2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know it's a "her?"
TNHBrah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because the account he found this tweet on is a woman's account, and she is actually a prevalent member of a YT's channel community.
woohoo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hint: tweets are easily found using google, even when you black out the name
https://www.google.com/search?q="a+guy+called+me+fat+while+i+was+working"
boredhuman99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I just saw this on twitter and was coming to post it
Eman5805 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:17 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What, no applause?
marc0429 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then everyone clapped
Boobs_Guns_BEER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:06 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you shouldn't be fat? It's not that hard
Withyhydra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they were doing multiple pushups a second, which if they were being called fat they can't, that would've been an awkward 30-40 seconds
tommycahil1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck, I posted this earlier and the sub banned it for absolutely no reason!? All that sweet karma could have been mine!!!
Wrathofthestorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:14 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then everyone clapped
AvGeek201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I thought I was on /r/cringeanarchy
Funkizeit69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
158 likes! :(
KoifishDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let that sink in
portymorty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:52 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the whole Starbucks laughed and bought her free Starbucks for life
YEROCC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*goea down for first pushup and cant get up and requires a hospital stretcher and a car jack to help her get up *youhhhhrrre haaaa tuurrrrnn haaa bitch
FuelOfATook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is, it wouldn't surprise me if this actually happened, just that the "ran off" was more of a "laughed and walked away"
06210311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:39 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like Raven Chastain got a job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a video clip of her doing 30 push ups.
MetsGo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and then the whole store applauded
stone_henge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty awkward to stand there for 30 push-ups only to run off afterwards
USMC0317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then everyone clapped and David Beckham bought them all lattes.
getbackjoe94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about her, but I'd probably be looking for a new job after calling a customer "bitch". At the very least I'd have a lot of explaining to do.
LongPutsAndLongPutts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mean to sound like an asshole but is 30 pushups supposed to be impressive?
sirhcthatsme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This exact same thing happened to me except I didn't say anything, went to my car, got in went home and cried
CriminalMacabre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a visible belly you can't do 30 in a row
SuperSayanTyranitar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lieeessssss.... More damned lies!
trwwy321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the guy said, "You're still fat, bitch."
zithoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Valet guy: Sir your gonna have to move your mini van...
Other valet guy: that's not a mini van, it's just a fat kid.
I_like_your_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:38 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the rationale behind posts like this.
"See, I'm in peak physical shape! I simply choose to be fat!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even do push-ups at all... Haha... Ha...
JdoesDDR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:54 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda hard to knock out 30 pushups and immediately get back up without being at least a little short of breath, so I just like imagining her saying "your turn, bitch" while trying to catch her breath lmao
Dahwaann4U ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:34 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was her manager who told her she was fat
BigHogDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would fire that fat freak
BigHogDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There must have been dinner on the floor
Mikeyandwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:02:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will you do AMA?
Dovakhiins-Dildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fat RESIGNED
extraNOpickle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fatberta Piestein is at it again with her zany antics!
ant-man1214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:12 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait- I posted this a little after you did and it was removed for being a tweet...
Alpha1959 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL doing 30 push ups makes you skinny.
Patsfan618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:44 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups for a woman is very hard even for relatively fit women.
valeceb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:03 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and invited her to dinner with his family, where she fucked the boss' wife while he watched
FoxSanjuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it were true. And it's not. 30 push-ups isn't impressive.
TobaccoAficionado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
holy shit 30 push ups. must have been pretty tough with all that weight.
DanyOrdz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:43 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The story sounds made up.
maahc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:56 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do I shut my office door and try 30 push-ups? But why? Why am I tempted? Maybe it's this coffee...
Idarola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped everything, did 30 push-ups, then looked up and he was gone because that took a while and no one has time to wait for me to do push ups for like 3 minutes.
whatsforsupa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take "things that never happened" for 200, Alex.
ob3ypr1mus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
she also did a clap between each push up, but it were her thighs slapping together rather than her hands.
PM_ME_DANK_PIZZA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be able to stop laughing if someone did that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups? Literally rookie numbers.
ImSofaKingWeToddAdd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next time on made up stories...
gastonpenarol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:36 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
13 retweets and 158 likes...why?
lolwutermelon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I called someone fat and they dropped to the floor I wouldn't stand around watching them. I'd be like "damn, this person is out of their fucking mind" and walk away.
flee_market ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Even female soldiers don't typically do 30 push ups. More like 14, and they struggle with those. Meanwhile the male soldiers get to enjoy 62, bare minimum.
khal_Jayams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would this person think anyone would believe this story. From the first line it is bullshit. Who the fuck would go up to someone who is working and call them fat out of the blue? Like does this person do this to EVERY fat person he sees? "...You're fat."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bet she did 30 jack pressups. Or 30 piss-easy lady ones.
Davethemann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holley Mangold is an olympic weightlifter. She could probably do quite a few push ups. She has done quite well for herself. She is also heavier than her sibling... former New York Jets starting center Nick Mangold. So you can definitely be fat, and strong. So this had to be among the dumbest things ive seen ever. Im not criticizing the redditor, im criticizing the original person.
pm_me_your_trebuchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:53 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he ran off to get a defibrillator. you know, because OP was fat and 30 push ups made him have a heart attack.
ETF_Ross101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooo, 30 whole pushups? Damn...bet the Army would love to have her
clayman247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:35 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And everyone clapped"
Boltrag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take that shit never happened for 500.
Masked_One7240 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Press x to doubt
zer0stat1c ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone applauded
attohs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:21 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every watch SpikeTV? I grew up thinking in order to be strong you had to be a fatty.
McD0ngler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:46 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tune in next week for another episode of shit that didn't happen
LeftyMode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:25 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still fat though.
FallonAddiction123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:40 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can be fat & still be able to do push-ups. Bitch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:11 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who tf would retweet this
AKSasquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then Brad Pitt came in and started making out with me.
iplaytinder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:04 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't lose weight from doing pushups either either DIDN APPEN
FriarMaxwell292 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:05 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the middle of work? What's her job??
Chopsueme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be a true story because they entire store wasn't applauding for her bravery.
Username0password0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call bullshit
Aspyrry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:07 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But did everyone clap?
autoposting_system ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were they real pushups? Or, like, girl pushups?
piHall314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:31 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not 50?
Balaguru_BR5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:50:00 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So I tried to get down to the ground to do push ups"
FTFY
_phan7asm_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then everyone clapped and showered her with $100% bills and another coworker who turned out to be Einstein yelled BURN! and started hitting her coworker with a fly swatter.
WildTurkey81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet they were those push ups that you do from being knelt.
chatshitgetbanged24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what if he did end up doing 30? Would it just go back and forth?
TheSnailLord10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:30 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true I was the push-up
SilverTrash2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:26 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a lie bigger than jacksfilms forehead
achennupati ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:47 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't think that's possible kid
notbob17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 whole pushups
Blackarrow4286 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:58 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at the censored bit and scroll down on your phone, interesting
๐๏ธ TheHypnoticGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:16 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's this mean?
Blackarrow4286 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:06 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a texture glitch i supose.
KingStraton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:37 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to be honest if this was somehow real and somebody riled you up enough to make you do 30 push-ups at work, they won
lvl3BattleCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:23 on August 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - jesus christ guy, are you actually trying?
Fingerguns11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:52 on August 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 pushups? That's like... A solid minute of waiting for her to finish. Just standing there waiting to apologize
SiomarTehBeefalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:44 on August 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now imagine if she did that every day, then she wouldn't be fat lol
IronedSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:39 on August 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
make a small alteration to this and it could have happened.
"A guy called me fat while I was working. So, I stopped everything, started doing 30 push-ups & he'd walked off"
maybesaydie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:33 on August 26, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you TheHypnoticGamer for your submission to /r/thatHappened! Unfortunately it was removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 1. Post incredibly true stories that totally actually happened.
This is a satire subreddit for fleshed out stories. Take a moment before posting. The following are not allowed:
If your story is obviously true or verifiable, it will be removed.
No Tweets. Sorry.
Please message the moderators if you have any questions.
Sluggocide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30 push ups? What's next? A brisk walk up half a flight of stairs?
antisocialmedic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:01 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think trying to do 30 pushups right now would probably kill me. (am slightly overweight, out of shape woman).
mbillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:23 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In your defense 4/5 physically fit women cannot do 30 pushups.
You dont need to do 30 pushups to be "fit" or skinny or whatever.
The reason its posted here is because for a woman to do 30 pushups is highly uncommon. Especially if she is carrying a little extra weight
antisocialmedic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could do 50 back when I was in shape. Which I know probably sounds like bullshit, but I could. Of course I also lifted weights for like, three hours a day, six days a week. I was a firefighter and had to work really hard to be able to do the job.
So it's not totally impossible. But yeah, AFAIK most women can't do that many pushups.
mbillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:22 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I am not here calling people out - But you look around and see what the majority of people look like right? im not saying its impossible by any means. I am simply putting numbers to the story, and I hope you understand that the ability to do 30 or 50 pushups is extemely rare in human females.
Also the back needs to be at least parallel with the back of the arms, just saying
antisocialmedic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:37 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My dad is an ex drill instructor and took the time to teach me proper form for things like pushups and running. It did take me a long time to use proper form for squats, however.
But yeah, I've just always been unusually strong for a woman. Put muscle on easier than other girls. I have some weird hormonal stuff going on, so I'm assuming that was always a contributing factor. Had slightly higher than normal testosterone as a teen. If I had been more "normal" I obviously wouldn't have performed quite as well, physically.
bran_dong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:57 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if they can do 50 push ups they wouldn't be fat.
Ham_Kitten ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:33:29 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that woman...
was Albert Einstein.
Formally_Nightman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:02 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was at that very moment Fred realized the man doing push-ups reminded him of a childhood nightmare he never forgot.
Fred's dream was Jabba the Hutt laying facedown over Princess Leia devouring her from our world.
meglo92 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:48 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will probably get buried, but -- am fat chick (BMI = 30.) But am also very strong (i.e., fat chick with relatively narrow waist, large thighs, large shoulders and therefore not the blubber tub one thinks of when one thinks of "fat chick"). I can easily knock out 30 good form push ups. I lift 3 x a week. I run. Still fat! But strong. So it's very possible that this actually happened. That said, the guy probably apologized and ran off because this is a crazy thing to do at work.
RestingCat ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 09:40:58 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way a woman, let alone a fat ass, would do 30 pushups.
nightjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:35:13 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woman here. Goes to gym very regularly. Try me.
RestingCat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:04:10 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should've said that it wasn't a certaintity, but 99% chance. Obviously there are some outliers that can do 30+.
nightjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:59 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must get so much pussy with that attitude.
RestingCat ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:46 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I'd ever want a pussy that gets butthurt over me telling them that women usually can't perform outstanding feats of strength. Sounds like the type of woman who would be so naive as to disagree with that would be a crazed, androgynous SJW that didn't get enough love as a kid.
AJTaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:32 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't cut yourself with that edge, kid.
RestingCat ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:10:12 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You call not wanting women who think an average woman can do 30 pushups is "edgy"?
Wow, I'm sorry, there's no hope for you.
nightjesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:43 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And let me guess, you think the average male can?
RestingCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:31 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When did I say that, you moron? Probably not, but I think 100 times more men than women can do 30 pushups.
nightjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:37 on August 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, moron, I know you didn't say it hence why I said think. Also that edge, you must be so cool with ur high school peers.
M0TUS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:45:39 on August 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you used to work at Google, by any chance?
shut_32 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 08:05:41 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did everyone on this thread assign gender?
TNHBrah ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:45:15 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The OP called her a she (which the tweeter is).
shut_32 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 08:57:09 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
R_Lupin ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 09:55:28 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone on Reddit is a young white male, everyone knows that
Edit: downvoted for Reddit meta? I'll go one step further, everyone on Reddit is a coconut looking for love
shut_32 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 09:56:27 on August 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. It was an honest question, though. I didn't see the qualification.