Plus-size girl tells harrowing story about rude retail clerk
๐๏ธ dontbringmedowndown ยท 2387 points ยท Posted at 21:04:36 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
๐๏ธ dontbringmedowndown ยท 2387 points ยท Posted at 21:04:36 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saved comment
danyquinn ยท 1641 points ยท Posted at 22:35:19 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Off the fucking thathappened charts, this one. Jesus.
nutsocharles ยท 354 points ยท Posted at 02:05:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Makes me wonder why this kind of thing is written. It's essentially fan fiction for your own life, but surely not even the biggest fools in your social network believe any of it for a second. None of this shit is happening, has happened, or will happen. Aren't these pathological liars getting called out?
Lol_jk_Omg ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 02:39:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fan fiction for your own life." Fuck, that's deep. And sad
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 05:10:17 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
flare561 ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 05:59:45 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would just involve having enough money to not feel poor, and then sitting on reddit.
luvs2spooge187 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:52:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be a vigin anymore.
A_WILD_SLUT_APPEARS ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:34:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
;) a gentleman never tells
pretentiously ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:45 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not a gentle man though ๐
MustachelessCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:56 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vigin*
Syrob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:59:00 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the dream.
squeakymousefarts ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:10:56 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would involve fewer sales clerks and more magical girl transformations.
CrypticTryptic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too. And then me having sex with the magical girls.
Gangreless ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:13:33 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also known as "shower conversations"
apudebeau ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 05:54:11 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a revenge fantasy. We've all been humiliated and thought indepth scenarios where we gain leverage over our aggressor and turn the tables. I guess the appeal of writing it down and sharing it comes from the anon and semi-anon nature of the internet.
slackadder ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:45:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's victim porn. Helps people masturbate their sense of victimhood.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:43:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, How DARE u.
nutsocharles ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:07:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This keeps cracking me up. Also, I like your username.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha thanks. I got the insane title in WoW.
garninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:04 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
frist
yo u
The_NecroDancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
on behalf of pathological liars everywhere; sorry
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure you are really sorry or just a pathological liar...
gymnasticRug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you implying this isn't completely true?
Daffan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:14 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Their lives are so sad and they have nothing better to do than spin bullshit. You know like in primary school where people lied about shit they did? Yeah...
ViralFrost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:28 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/quityourbullshit
jesusatan ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not getting called out because everyone they are friends with are fat fatty fattersons just like them. They'll believe any story about being "triggered."
JonnyBhoy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:09:57 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And this is my friend, Fatima Phaterson."
"Hi, call me Fatty."
canadiancarcass ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:17 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My friend's nickname is fatty, no lie.
MrStigglesworth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:51:36 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what's it like being an Enid Blyton character?
canadiancarcass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:32 on August 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ill let you know when I figure out who that is.
MrStigglesworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:35 on August 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was a children's author, most well known for her Famous Five series. She also had a series called "The Five Find-Outers" where one of the lead characters is nicknamed "Fatty."
ChucklefuckBitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're as retarded in real life as you are on the internet, this story might actually have happened.
[deleted] ยท 446 points ยท Posted at 01:10:57 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mentholbaby ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 05:08:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
hello fine sir,where will i find the big boy britches ( i can wear skinny britches but i prefer the look of the big boy pocket pants)
LISTEN HERE YOU SCUM BUM,YOU TAKE YOUR FAT FLAT FLATTYFAT~ FAT ASS HOLE TO THE MOON WHERE YOU CAN GO TO MOON ROCKS R US AND FILL UP YOUR CART WITH SOME MOON BURGERS
please it is not neceessary to talk to me like that for i am but only wishin to get some pants
I WILL TALK HOWEVER I WANT TODAY , SUCK A LEMON OUT OF A HOLE IN THE EARTH
edit~ ~ ~ 228 was my " area code'' as a young fella,thanks yall
ChocolateAmerican ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:49:05 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmm, moon burgers.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 09:48:14 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
everyone is high on the moon
FetidFeet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a time to be alive.
HeyGirlsItsPete ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:18:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus fucking christ, I just lost my shit reading this
mentholbaby ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:24:27 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its probably dehydrtation, lordy hell its hotter than a 2 dollar pistol out there ! !
drislands ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know this isn't contributing anything, but holy shit I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Funniest thing I've read in a while!
Kirstie_Ally ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:41:59 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Big boy britches. The big boy pocket pants. i swear i re-read the beginning while cackling at least six times before finishing the rest.
mentholbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:57 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
knowin you,you probably contribitued enough already anyways !!
nicowanderer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:24:03 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i want to frame this comment and hang it everywhere.
mentholbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:28 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I WAnna frame you & me having a great week end and not worryin too much about getting back to work on monday morning !!
[deleted] ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 01:49:25 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She must have been triggered pretty hard by someone glancing at her then glancing quickly away if the worst insult she could come up with was "fatty fatass"
Hunteraln ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fatty fatty fatass I bet your ass is fat
PBandJthyme ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:39:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet your belly is Buddha
notparthav ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:28:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That belly's name? Buddha.
trollofzog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:48:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You fucking fat fucking fatty
pnsmcgraw ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:54:16 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fatty fat ass mcfaterson totally fat fatness who is also fat
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:50:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FAT FATTY FAT FAT ASS YOU FAT FAT ASS
pnsmcgraw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:)
ChocolateAmerican ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:49:34 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fatty fatty two by four. Can't get through the kitchen door!
Kjell_Aronsen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:01:30 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't we call him Fatty Fatty Toad Boy? At least start on him and move on...
snowleopardlady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She reminds me of the lady of FatFighters in Little Britain :)
jimboeth ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:16:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This. Is the HAPPENING.
cjackc ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:30:46 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Even worse this is a copied and expanded version of someone else saying the exact same thing totally happened.
PBandJthyme ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The power is of 9000thathappends
luvs2spooge187 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:51:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly more.
Slackbeing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It most likely happened $1200% times to every person with metabolism problems.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:20:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's Tumblr.
FreeGiraffeRides ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 09:48:05 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Excuse me sir, could you direct me to your jumbo-size condoms?"
Clerk: "Ohh no, we don't serve your kind around here, freak of nature. If you want anaconda supplies you go to a fucking pet store."
Me: "Pardon me, it's just that I need some protection for my arm-sized cock. I've been making do with a boxing glove in a sling, but the chafing is quite severe."
Clerk (chewing on a fried baby leg): "Hitler should've wiped out your entire family."
Me: "Actually... he's standing behind you now."
And then Hitler's ghost took him straight to hell, where everyone applauded.
birdiekittie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:34:42 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actual lol at boxing glove in a sling.
ThereIsAThingForThat ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:14:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt this is real. Nobody gave you %100$
adarkfable ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:22:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
you owe me the shot of gin I just spit out onto my keyboard.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:39:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What was that Hitler's ghost name?
Problem119V-0800 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:39:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hitlerbert Adolfstein
PM_ME_UR_RAINBOWS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:24:52 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All my LOLs, you're a wonderful person.
Dddamo ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 02:18:17 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The only truth in this is her perception of herself being spoken through the clerk.
pipboylover ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:32:21 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And being fat.
scriptingsoul ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:14:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This will be in the history books for being the truest story to ever grace time itself.
NitsujTPU ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:38:11 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's generally very telling when people make full-paragraph arguments during verbal disputes.
CrypticTryptic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:47:37 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It happens occasionally. Every time I've ever done it, though, there were several "Shut up, I'm not finished's" in the middle.
xum ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:53:25 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is so dense in this story that it bends space-time to the point that it tears the fabric of the universe creating a wormhole to a parallel dimension. For millions of years, the inhabitants of that universe will observe a mysterious light in the night-sky. And the name of this phenomenon: an Einstein-Rosen Bridge.
Kdj87 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:09:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When they write this shit, do they not realize that people don't talk like that? "People like you are beneath the rest of us." What?
PM_ME_UR_RAINBOWS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:23:52 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To use a dank meme, this fucker is in orbit.
Vishyvish111 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:55:05 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I miss FPH :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Children these days.
ash-leg2 ยท 401 points ยท Posted at 01:04:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"...I, despite my appearance...", haha.
uniquecannon ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 07:54:34 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So much exposition given by everybody involved in this situation. I wonder how many minutes this all went down in.
pcechos ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 08:13:33 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly 100. She summarized.
myforce2001 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 09:32:51 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"IIIIIIII, ddddeeeesssspppiiiittteeee mmmyyyy aaapppeeeaaarrrraaannnccceee..."
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:11:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
$100% minutes
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:52:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Directed by Christopher Nolan himself
ChocolateAmerican ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:50:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This story was clearly written by Alan Moore...
athennna ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:52:32 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one speaks with contractions in real life so it must be true.
nosurprisesreally ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 22:05:49 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha because anyone who values having a job calls a customer a fat ass and sends them to another store.
Totally.
macthefire ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 07:42:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention, the moment her "friend" bitch slapped the now fired employee anything that happened previously wouldn't matter and she would now have grounds to sue for.....like all the reasons.
RoBoDaN91 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 10:49:39 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was meant metaphorically in that the friend said go apply for A&F because they hire assholes or however our heroine wants to
projectaccurately portray them ascontacts_eyes ยท 288 points ยท Posted at 00:34:23 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the way she supposedly played it super cool and polite while the clerk was calling her a fatass and everything else.
PrimesteFericera ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 04:49:27 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I have never heard anybody talk the way she wrote, being clever, polite and not getting flustered in the slightest while on the spot.
This is obviously a "I ran out of the store crying because someone looked at me funny and made up this fantasy to feel better" story.
Nadaplanet ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 09:12:39 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably more of a "I ran out of the store crying because I couldn't fit in any of the clothes." Fat people aren't exactly uncommon, and unless they're ridiculously super-obese, don't usually get a second glance from most people. Especially if she's really only a size 18. That's only a few sizes bigger than average (size 12).
Mr_A ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:36:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably more of a "I didn't go to the store at all, but if I did, this is what I would have liked to happen."
chicol1090 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:03:21 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
its the "laying in bed trying to fall asleep" recap of her day
PrimesteFericera ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:54:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good point.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:43 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was the part that got me the most, when she said something along the lines of, "I'm a size 18 so I can fit into average clothing but I prefer plus size" On what planet is 18 considered an average size?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:38 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PrimesteFericera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not. Just that the girl in this story is the epitome of poise in the face of fat shaming and triggers.
mutatersalad1 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 06:30:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what really sold it.
"Get out you fatass!"
-"oh come on don't be like that, I'm just tryna get some pantaloons, now kindly direct me in the right direction please"
TheWayToGod ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 21:47:30 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"We don't serve her kind here!"
Wow, this clerk did a really good job of making sure everyone knew that she thought of fat people as lesser beings.
Overskill ยท 433 points ยท Posted at 00:57:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The clerk's name? Adolf Klux Klan
hatu ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 01:55:04 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Albert Cis Whitenstein
Krexington_III ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:43:07 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pol Potsmoking Nazi
Mred12 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 06:56:51 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Chairman Ayy Lamao.
jobengals86 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 09:05:42 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/er0Sww2.gif
wqtraz ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:33:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alberdolf Klux Stalinstein
PBandJthyme ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:41:23 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Akbar
weks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:45:45 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only her friends call her that.
Jackpot777 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 01:45:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And after the person working there said it, the taller of the two corpulent people turned to Luke as he said, "listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble" and replied, "I heartily agree with you sir."
[deleted] ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 02:05:17 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't mentioned, but this story took place on tatooine.
PitchforkEmporium ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:22:26 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And her name?
Jabba the Hutt
angry_dave ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:13:16 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Little known fact, the Hutts started their empire with a chain of clothing stores.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:53:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He usually seen sporting a slinky off-the-flab-roll chain.
CanadianJesus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:50:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now calm down, Skeeter, she ain't hurtin' nobody.
cianmc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:35 on August 4, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty odd thing to say considering they apparently did have an entire section for plus-sized clothes. What did this totally real clerk think that section was for?
hoggytime613 ยท 440 points ยท Posted at 00:52:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is fake.. There was no applause. Nothing like this happens in real life without everyone in earshot erupting in applause at the end.
roxomoxoa ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 01:49:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That comment deserves a round of applause.
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:45:37 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
derevenus ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:49:12 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Na gotta do jazz hands instead.
Clapping's forbidden now.
kalpour ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:32:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clapping triggers me
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
triggered
SaltyBabe ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:50:51 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[clapping intensifies]
HawkTheBird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
clapping intensifies
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:47:23 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would jizz hands do?
moistbutter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:58 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good jaaab, good jaaaaab
Laddeh ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:56:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's also no crisp 100 dollar bill handed out to anyone.
angry_dave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:14:54 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a pin dropped, but how would you know? Nobody heard it!
A_WILD_SLUT_APPEARS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would have been hard to hear, what with a manager slapping a recently fired employed in front of everyone in the store.
Plausible deniability, since the chick deserved it. I spent 12 years studying 'slapping fatphobic people law.'
yaosio ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:07:07 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mods don't allow fake stories in this sub so it has to be real. They personally have a massive fund to fly around the world and check on the veracity of every single story. They also work for the History Channel.
TerriblePterodactyl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:40:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a bitchslap though, which resonates in a similar manner as applause. I'm sure the echo carried through the room and had we been there, we might have mistaken the echoes for raucous applause.
roboticbrady ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:47:51 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, someone else did hear it. Her 'best friend' who sat there listening to her get crapped on for several minutes before acknowledging she knew where the fat girl clothes were the entire time.
Goblin-Dick-Smasher ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
well, for stuff like this to happen she'd have had to actually go outside.....
toughbutworthit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:31:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
which she clearly did to get to her means of transport, because this $100% happened
gymnasticRug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the handshakes, and the condoms, and the hundred dollar bills, and Einstein's resurrection, etc etc.
zuurrkk ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 03:57:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I swear these stories follow some sort of template.
It's always:
-our protagonist always asks question to employee, completely polite, proper grammar and all
-cartoonishly evil mustache twirling employee risks job to discriminate our protagonist just because she's fat in what I assume they picture in some sort of Brooklyn accent. "Get outta here ya fatty! Go to the OTHER store! Points thumb behind shoulder"
-protagonist is never startled by our antagonists random and completely unrealistic, unprovoked comments and reinstates the question politely still. "Um, no need to say that. I just want to know where such and such is. Thanks" (omg she's so calm and collected in the face of discrimination! What a hero! It's a shame she goes through this all the time! Because situations like this are completely commonplace!)
-manager shows up, fires employee, team rocket blasts off again, rewards protagonist.
Every. Single. Time.
atriax ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 09:26:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But what about the crisp $100% dollar bills?
gymnasticRug ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:15:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And what about the condoms under the sinkage!
Visaerian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:58 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
one hundred dollars percent dollar bills
chicol1090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
or when the friend literally commits battery on the worker for speaking their mind
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 09:58:28 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Problem119V-0800 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:15 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeesh, like "you're not welcome here" or just "we don't have anything that would fit you"?
You should totally memorize the lines from this post so that next time it happens you can recreate this %420$-historically-accurate event as, like, an homage.
KrysxKatastrophe ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the owner gave her a $100% discount on all her new clothes.
markd315 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:18:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is particularly great because discounts are one of the few things that are expressed in dollars and percents with relatively equal regularity.
NintendoBukake ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:58 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I see $100% on here a lot. I'm a new sub. What's up?
dagbrown ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:27:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody ever looks at the sidebar for some reason.
NintendoBukake ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:41:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Not gonna lie I didn't read that at all when I subbed.
So I just did and read to the bottom on the app then that reference link didn't work.
So I opened it up in Safari and read it!
I went the extra mile and wish my father in law would give me $100
SaltyBabe ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:54:34 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ENTIRE SUB EXPLODES IN APPLAUSE
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:20:46 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr_A ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:38:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't gotten gilded today and while I was waiting to be gilded, I wrote a 100 page dissertation with citations about why this is unfair. If you would like me to read it to you, it will take a while and will utterly destroy you with how comprehensive it is. So make with the gold already, or I get articulatin'.
Fictionalpoet ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:27:44 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a combination of the fact that most of these totally true stories end with the protagonist being awarded $100, and the fact that the stories are 100% true.
heathre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:14 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened/comments/1bs0cs/and_im_also_giving_you_100_dollars_the_first/
KrysxKatastrophe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:02:37 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% true combined with 'and I'm also giving you $100'
NuclearQueen ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 22:09:35 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like any retail worker would actually say that.
Bazofwaz ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:00:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? Clearly you've never been to A&F. They're all pure evil there.
Dday141 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 01:41:32 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking lost it at Buddha big belly
TTTTTTTtttimmmmm ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 02:36:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
it makes me laugh thinking of the author's struggle to
come up withremember the insults for herselfkingrobotiv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"vagina cave""stretch mark storm front""Buddha-big-belly"!
IKilledYourBabyToday ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 05:35:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What really happened
Her: Where is the plus sized section?
Clerk: Over there ma'am
Her: Do you carry this in a size 5x?
Clerk: Sorry, no. Our sizes only go up to 3x
Her: ok den
Her: goes home
Her: turns on computer
Her: begins typing YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE THIS FUCKING SHITLORD CUNT AT THE STORE TODAY
this_here_is_my_alt ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 10:43:45 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or, "I'm very sorry, ma'am, we actually don't carry plus-sizes."
B1GsHoTbg ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 21:39:58 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yea I to love to get myself fired.
iarev ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 04:12:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"And the clerk looked me up and down, batting her eyes at my plus-sized ass, before bellowing into a megaphone like Jimmy Hart, "LISTEN FAT ASS, WE DON'T SERVE ELEPHANTS HERE. SO GET TO THE ELEPHANT SECTION AT THE ZOO WHERE THEY HAVE ELEPHANT CLOTHES THAT'D FIT YOUR ELEPHANT ASS!" I finally mustered up the energy to reply: "Listen, just because I am a plus-sized woman who fits into elephant clothes doesn't mean I'm not deserving of the same respect you'd show to a thinner person." At this point, several elephants inside the mall perked up their ears at the commotion (it was a parade day in the mall) and made their way over to me. The lead elephant took out a crisp $100 bill with Albert Elepheinsten on it and placed it in my purse. He then proceeded to stomp the rude clerk to death to the rounds of applause from the dozens of people in the store.
crrime ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 01:34:25 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
applause erupts
I, despite my appearance, lift my arms up victoriously to the skies. Zeus himself comes reigning down in his golden chariot to bestow his two eagles betroth my plus-sized shoulders
"Go home, loser!" he jeers to the now jobless clerk
The best part of my experience you ask?
Probably the part where I awoke from my diabetic coma after passing out in the plus-sized section of Abercrombie and Fitch.
kek
SaltyBabe ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:57:23 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have a headcold so every time I laugh I cry. Thanks.
LouieTheWrench ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:20:26 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She left out all the rabid foaming at the mouth and violent pointing that undoubtedly thathappend as well. What a good-hearted, jolly and physically healthy person she is by not smearing this hateful person, even after all she'd done to deserve it.
meow_meow_meow_ ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:27:16 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We know she's healthy because even though she is a size 18, she can fit into regular sizes which = healthy. She just prefers plus because the styles are always nicer.
evancsinclair ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 22:02:55 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
and the name of his grandfather who handed him the reins....
lameguy14 ยท 219 points ยท Posted at 22:14:08 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Albertcrombie and fitchstein.
evancsinclair ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 22:23:08 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I got a shirt there during the annual $100% discount sale.
SBNShovelSlayer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:00:18 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Size XXXXS
dratthecookies ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:25:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This person isn't even trying.... To exaggerate! This is another sad story of customer service gone wrong. Just because she's fat doesn't mean she's not a human being!
Mr_A ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:46:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why, she's twice the human being I am!
ojajaja ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:51:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I too speak on well detailed exposition to strangers
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:44 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you, because clearly you save all your good well speaking for real life and not your comments here.
roxomoxoa ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:54:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The world needs more heroes like this. The strength she shows by dealing with this harrowing situation is one of the most admirable things I've ever known.
kommissar_chaR ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:56:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
they forgot the part where everyone claps and someone's grandmother says something about a sick burn.
GeauxTiger ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:05:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Me (walks in store): "Good afternoon, madam..."
Clerk (jumps on counter): "RAARRRR RAR RAGGLE RAGGLE RARR!!!""
Me: "Oh a thousand pardons..."
Clerk (lights flaming spear): "WRUGGLE WRAGGLE, OO-OO-OOOGAA!"
TRUE STORY YOU GUYS!
pursenboots ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:54:24 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ah, this is a classic one. also I don't get who FR is.
nutsocharles ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:09:19 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was going to abbreviate My Friend as MF, but the clerk was the only motherfucker in this story.
MY-HARD-BOILED-EGGS ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:18:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FR = Franklin Roosevelt. I actually thought that was pretty obvious.
CheekyGeth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:02 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the fact that even if you're right this story doesn't even get more ridiculous.
ImSuccession ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frank Reynolds
dolfan650 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:23:21 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are so many really, really big facepalm moments that I think that some are overlooked, including this gem that would stand out if the rest of the story wasn't so ludicrous: "He dresses quite humbly, so people don't really recognize that he is an owner."
Let's break this down. The guy owns a couple of dress stores (through his family). Does this make him extravagantly rich and overly important? Should he be dressed like the monocle guy in Monopoly? When you walk down the street and see someone really well dressed, do you think "Wow, must own a couple of dress stores!" And what exactly does it mean to dress humbly? Like a normal non-dress store owning person?
Right away, this tells you the person writing this was 12 to 13 years old and has no experience in the real world.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:16:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What really happened.
I walked into a clothing store and asked where the plus sizes are and the lady said there wasn't a plus size section and that tere was a store just across from us that had one and. I WAS APPALLED. HOW DARE SHE DISCRIMINATE ME. I DEMANDED SHE BE FIRED. I TOLD HER I WAS ACTUALLY NORMAL SIZES BUT JUST WEAR PLUS SIZE WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT. I LEFT THE STORE WHILE THE PUNY SKINNY BITCH WAS PROBABLY FIRED.
llama1324 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 23:08:25 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Normally I agree that the stories didn't happen, but this one just seems to ring true to me.
mutatersalad1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:39:13 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Isn't that how all store clerks act? I'm used to being sent to the "skinny bitches only" section at the front of the store and cutting in front of all those poor oppressed fat people. Then they finally get up to the counter and the clerks always yell "we don't serve your kind here!" and throw them out to be hosed down and attacked by police dogs.
Bazofwaz ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 00:01:18 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everything on this sub happened. That's why it's called "ThatHappened"
Clearly you're on the wrong sub.
Krexington_III ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:58:09 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
whoosh
Bazofwaz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:04:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
double woosh
Go back to your subs with fake stories like /r/funny
Krexington_III ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:25:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
... I was wooshed. It is true.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:58:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened so hard. I, despite my appearance, am flabbergasted.
1993teemu ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:28:11 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this how fat people think everyone thinks about fat people?
Cleverly_Clearly ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NotAlwaysRight is fucking cancer. It is literally nothing but fake stories.
Bazofwaz ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 00:02:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly this one is real, or it wouldn't be on this subreddit. A reminder that everything on this sub has really happened.
(I'm pretty sure it used to be in the sidebar - play along)
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:08:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you ask people to "play along" on /r/worldnews too? This stuff happened, we're here to discuss it.
Bazofwaz ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:24:09 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All of reality is a construct from our thoughtlords. They tell us things that happened and we believe it. There is no playing along, it is true.
I've said too much
Mr_A ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:45:54 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This subreddit does play along, but sometimes its more fun to actually discuss the story as it exists. Otherwise this subreddit is just "Oh, this totally happened guys" and it gets tired. Some times its good to switch to jerk/off mode, especially when the story is so mindbendingly
fabricatedtrue like this one is.Bazofwaz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:55:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True, but it's more fun when they have to discuss how bizarre of a reality it is in a roundabout way.
Stolypin26 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:30:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I was in a similar situation once
Me: Hello. Where're your bathroom fixtures?
Clerk: SHUTUP YOU FAT BARREL OF DOGSHIT!!! GO EAT A FUCKING BULLET BEFORE YOU HAVE A HEART ATTACK AND COLLAPSE ON SOMEONE!!!
snark_nerd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:04:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Big mistake ... huge!"
Born2dodishes ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:19:22 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She expected people to believe this...?
Bazofwaz ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:59:19 on July 30, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, it happened, so why wouldn't they?
Born2dodishes ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:06:11 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. You're right.
Dylan14427 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:50:36 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It 100$% happened, it's irrefutable evidence that the retail clerk was being a fat-hating shit lord. If that fine young lady says its true, it had to have happened without a doubt.
Cheeseburguh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:54:54 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you're trying too hard.
Dylan14427 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:03 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoyed writing it ah whatever ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:04:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like the disclaimer at the beginning that already gives away the bullshit ending. I'm typing this before I have even read it. I will delete my account if this doesn't end with her friend revealing himself as the owner and laying down some instant karma.
edit: yep
magiccoffeepot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:54:26 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about any of you guys but I definitely live in a world where people talk like this.
ergwa95 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:09:44 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If someone in a boutique actually so much as coughed in her direction in a way that offended her, you know she'd doxx the shit out of that woman. She'd start a smear campaign on facebook. If this was even remotely real, and just an exaggeration, this fatass would launch an obese army upon that poor clerk, before she took the time to write a transcript of their conversation.
dyke_face ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:51:52 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These stories are so strange, because you can tell that they're just pure internal fantasy scenarios.. but even within their own fantasy, people are calling them fatty mc fat asses and disgusting peopleโฆ
Magilla_Godzilla ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:16:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every business owner knows to assault people they've just fired from their store.
Gr33nman460 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:14:28 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So the friend slapped the clerk? Well that is a lawsuit.
IBrowseCFC ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:07:47 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She made this story up just to tell everyone she is infact just a size 18
squigs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:22:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's the dialogue that makes this story super plausible .
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:05:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if she didn't eat her feelings, she'd be able to fit into that size 18 she claims to fit.
misteryin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mitosis, ladies and gentleman. And the way she was able to remember every excruciatingly cringey piece of dialogue. She's pushing the boundaries...on her blouse
NintendoBukake ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:27:05 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for her. The customer service lady instantly called her a "fatty fat ass" and said "we don't serve your kind" and she didn't get angry. She didn't say things like "wtf" or "are you seriously talking to me like that?"
Im glad she also remembered the viscous insults verbatim and didn't include her friends name out of respect.
Good for her for also being fat and only wearing fat clothes on weekends, but during the week trying to fit into normal people clothes.
5edgy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:43:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't finish it because of how much that happened.
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No matter where you got up to, it gets better.
nosurprises23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I love the random shots taken at Abercrombie and Fitch
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:12 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming they were relevant when the story would have been written (at least 2 years ago) and I seem to remember reading about something along those lines, but I can't remember it because it wasn't important.
kbox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:32 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think compulsive liars would at least be good at it.
Bazofwaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who are you doubting?
JoshSidekick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:25:12 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like if I was the clerk acting this way towards the woman, and the guy called me a rude asshole, I would be like, "Yeah, and...?". Like I just called you a fata*** and told you to go shop at the dirt mall, I'm very specifically trying to be a rude asshole.
Doctor16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, if this was true, anyone acting like that would not give a fuck if they were fired anyway
DNamor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:56 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was dubious about this one, but I can see it's been $100% mod verified, so I'll trust it.
nodiptortillachip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:25 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm so confused. Fat people are usually the inexplicably irate character, but in this story - not only was the fat person super calm and polite but also had a undercover sidekick. Oh also, I looked up size 18 - when does "plus" size actually start anyways?
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:21 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume anything after 1. But I'm not female, so I don't know for sure.
Katiekat27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think 14
ReactsWithWords ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:09:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The clerk then complained about being censored and immediately got a job with Voat.
Mastodon9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow its amazing how they were able to remember the entire conversation word for word like that! Most people are only able to give a summary of what was said because remembering a conversation that long is tough.
Vaux1916 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:36:34 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That happened. That happened so hard.
plausibleimprobable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:03:18 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This deserves to be in the That Happened Hall of Fame
DaerionB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:47:28 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. That's how clerks talk to customers. Nailed it.
ReducedCooldown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:25 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As believable as this story was, the icing on the cake was when Franklin Roosevelt (FR) came back to life to bitch-slap the rude clerk.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:12:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is like one of those "that's what I should've said" moments you have in the shower after someone makes fun of you.
Mr_A ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cdjohn24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At her size it is more of a hosing down than a shower.
torreneastoria ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So let me get this straight. The clerk didn't recognize his own boss? I'm calling bullshit.
roxomoxoa ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:52:52 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He was the owner, not the boss. Also he didn't walk around in a tuxedo and top hat like Rich Uncle Pennybags from Monopoly, so how could she know?
I wonder if he was wearing ripped up, urine and blood soaked clothes, missing teeth and an eye, and in the process of defecating when he said "despite my appearance, blah blah who cares".
meow_meow_meow_ ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:28:44 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That does sound like how a multiple store owner would dress if he was trying for the humble disguise.
NintendoBukake ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:21:52 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are everything this comment section needs
Mr_North_Korea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So he assaulted her? Good way to lose a company.
aCloverLoki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But who the fuck is "FR"...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:54 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It gets better.
Thorpington ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But why didn't everyone start clapping?!?!
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:16 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is the sound of one hand slapping?
thr33m0jo3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What actually happend .
Fat guy: where is the plus size?
Clerk: over there.
Friend: wow that bitch is skinny !
Fat guy: I know right? I'd never hire someone that looks like that!
Friend : omg I have an idea for a post!
Robbyrobbb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
who the fuck actually believes that this happened?
tigerjaws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:04 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No applause? Fake as hell.
Maxlu96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can really imagine someone saying "fatty fat-asses".
Crabaooke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Buddha big belly!
the-good-son ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am former employee. Now I insult fat people for a living in Abercrombie & Fitch
Rick_Shasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:52:32 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That dialog, that's what makes it have happened.
enoch15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:36:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this post forreal, I feel like I'm reading some poorly written teen novel.
NorcoXO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Something pretty similar like this happened to me just a couple weeks ago.
I went into gamestop to pick up the new batman game for the Xbox one. Well, I grabbed the box and headed for the checkout counter. As I approached the counter and laid the box down politely, I noticed the clerk giving me a filthy look. Naturally, I smiled widely and asked how he was doing. He SPAT on the floor and turned away. I smiled wider and laughed heartily to let him know I'm an easygoing cis. At the sound of my tinkling giggles he spun around and whirled a metal baseball bat into the side of my skull. As I laid on the ground with blood pooling on the floor he stood over me and guffawed while saying, "get a ps4 you filthy cunt."
I glanced mildly up at him and struggled to my feet. "Sir, please if I may, I just want this game and to be on my way."
I dropped to my knees as an earth-shattering blast ripped through the ps4 wall. It was General Custer in a Sherman tank! Behind him was Albert Einstein riding a unicorn. They garroted the employee, then called my boss at Hot Topic and gave me a raise. Now every paycheck comes folded up inside a supercrisp 100% bill.
RadleyCoopSound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious.
gymnasticRug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Buddha big-belly, get a ps4 fatty fat fatass fat.
inflagra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:55 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is fifty shades level dialogue. Someone needs a book deal!
Observerwwtdd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the name of that Chain Store Owner: Richard Gere.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:26 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who actually believes this?
PainfulPeanutBlender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:17 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be a troll, just too thathappened of a story. Its got everything except $100 and strangers applause
Pizza_Box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:40 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That girls grandfather?
jMyles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:15 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read all the way to the end because I was sure there was going to be applause.
sryguys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:58 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! That clerk couldn't handle her curves. So glad she stood up for herself!
buzzed61 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was so good that I'm pretty sure OP wrote it. Quality post indeed.
girlheartsfett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Rory1232014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:03 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, the correct term is woman of size. Check your privilege. Lolz
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:04 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Every woman is a woman of size.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:27 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:12 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah and everyone applauded when he checked me out.
Mortimier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what the actual fuck
mister_moustachio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:14 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell is this FR all of a sudden?
Floydimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened so fucking hard I can't stand it.
klstoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Like a boss * shades on*
Boobu-festuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can never help myself not to imagine the protagonist as a soft speaking saint while the antagonist would be a screaming drill sargent. It just makes these $100% real stories seem even better.
hhairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:59 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thirty years ago, I was in a Wet Seal store at a mall and wandered in, looking for something for my sister. The clerks were gathered around the counter, talking. They stopped and looked at me when I walked in and one of the girls looked at me and said, " I don't think we have anything in here for you."
Never went to a Wet Seal again.
Catsgirlsspaceships ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thirty years ago "Wet Seal" was called "Contempo."
hhairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
(now I really feel old!)
bolognahole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:36 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The exact same thing happened to me one time. Word for word.
vanoranje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can so tell everything is a projection of how she sees herself...
aoanfletcher2002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:49 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% true!!! I can feel it!
ajedimaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and size 18 is definitely a plus size. What's 18 in other countries? Just curious..
gymnasticRug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:45 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They just used a Star Wars quote.
other_mirz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:00 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Remarkable, how easily she remembered every single word of that happening. I wish some of those things happened to me too, so I can give a full dramatic account of the rumpus.
sephiroth399 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:45 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol did that fuck happen.
eitaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:07 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
man i love how that totally happened
neeria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:30 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/C2ohf1S
MayoIsNot_a_Beverage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:06 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bestof
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:46 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when this happens to me.
coffeedude7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:36 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. This should be pinned to the front page of the fucking sub for all eternity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:36 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the clerk was in the rght here, fucking fatass
RadleyCoopSound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:18 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It freaks me out when people come up with stories like these.
tansii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:41 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is life a bad teen movie?
StoneColdNaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:02 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know that this is $100% true because the good guys are well spoken and eloquent and the bad guy is is crude and dumb.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:58 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I smell bullshit with this one.
Everyone knows that Buddah wasn't fat, and they were obviously referring to a Budai or Hotei.
You're fooling no one!
visivopro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:10 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We should change this sub to /r/neverhappened or maybe /r/compulsiveliars.
xXD347HXx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:51:01 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you implying that this $100% true story never happened? Because if so, you're dead wrong.
OneGoodRib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If it was a small and/or super fancy boutique I could buy that the clerk would be rude to someone just for being fat, but jesus christ this story is just too unbelievable even making for that allowance.
I'm still always puzzled with these stories, though, where a random retail clerk is super insulting. All the clerks I've ever had were friendly and polite, standoffish, or basically a zombie. Maybe since I'm not a fatty fatass, though, people are just nicer to me.
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:00 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a Buddah Big-Belly, then?
1derbrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:03 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did she just call herself a fatty fat ass?
tehosiris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:28 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i really do hope this is fake
if you know what i mean :-)
let's just say i'm no longer a vigin ;-)
RadleyCoopSound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:50 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao what?!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:48 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"im only a size 18"
hehe.
"only"
Wafflery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:12 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This did not happen. It's just another one of those 'fat acceptance justice stories' that you fucking whales tell each other so that you can feel normal about eating 5000 calories a day.
bobluvsbananas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:20:54 on August 1, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But she's got condishuns.
LordoftheDeer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tumblr is getting ridiculous nowadays. Jeez man.
Self-Aware ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:37 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is from notalwaysworking.com, it's a frigging goldmine.
Z0bie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:06:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pick one. Also I wonder what happened with the lawsuit after the clerk sued the shit out of the store owner for slapping her.
potato1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:24:53 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If memory serves, size 16 is actually average. Whether it should be or not is a separate issue.
gordo65 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:28 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The really sad part is, that clerk immediately got a higher paying job at Abercrombie and Fitch, and has since worked her way up to CEO.
Ravastrix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:48:20 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This happened so hard.
Imperfectyourenot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:35:35 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Harrowing Real Plus-Size Fatty Fat-Asses of Wal-Mart.
lauraj423 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:30:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that didn't happen....
Zooby06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:30 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What are you saying?
lauraj423 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:39 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to be funny guess I'm the only one that got my joke lol
Wardadli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:19 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
think you're in the wrong sub friend
tif2shuz ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:31 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to call bullshit
tundrawolf ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:58:08 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Now there's no need for that kind of language.
privateD4L ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:58 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down Cap
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:15 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do know what sub you're in, right?
chicol1090 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:22 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
frist of all...
CupBeEmpty ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:46:54 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think the real thathappened is that OP has faked this whole thathappened. Nothing thathappens as much as thathappened.
Will_Eccles ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 03:05:43 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While this is clearly a tumblrism, I would love to believe it was true. I like the idea of SURPRISE I OWN YOU.
gymnasticRug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:29 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I also want to believe there is someone out there who calls fat people Buddha big belly.
Will_Eccles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:51 on July 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
yes lol