'Listen here, young Mr. Muscle Man, if that is your real name! I'll have you know that many of the more corpulent among us became this way while pursuing a life of scholarlyness. My post count on the MacGyver Fan Club messageboard is 150,000. What web-based forum do you frequent?'
'Ugh! How are you combining sounds into words and those words into sentences?! I don't understand this, so I'm pissed off! When I get pissed off I push things!'
Entire library is destroyed
'You not voting here! You take you egg roll and a hot-a-sour soup and you go now! Price $8.50. Tip not included. You go now!! Beech.'
" just then the once lovely asian lady turned to me & and with EXTRA slanty eyes she exclaimied YOU NO VORTE HERE ANYMOLE,YOU CAST YOLE BARROT AT ANOTHEL VORTEENG BOOTH FAT BEECH!!!'''
I thought it was common knowledge that it isn't possible for someone to enjoy reading without also being obese. That's why it isn't her fault that's she's fat, it has everything to do with her scholarly interests and absolutely nothing to do with laziness or a poor diet. It's actually a lot like how only absolute idiots are skinny. That's why the antagonist in that post was having such a hard time understanding what was going on, because skinny people are just a bunch of mean retards.
That's the real sad part. At least for me, my academic performance was significantly improved when I made the gym a priority. I have more energy, I sleep better, I have better focus, and my retention is better when I work out regularly. 4 years as a Computer Science major proved that if I go without exercise for a few weeks, I had to study twice as hard to get the same results.
I'm not sure. I've found that all the Adderall I've been mainlining in pursuit of my degree keeps me from getting fat. She must be doing it wrong
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:05:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a lot of the "scholarly" types I know are at least smart enough to make reasonable lifestyle choices. Like not eating an entire large pizza and a couple pints of ice cream in one sitting because of their condishuns.
I am in no way agreeing that pursuit of academics is a reason to blame on being fat... but, in what universe do scholars have more flexible schedules? When I was nearing the end of my schooling, I had no time for anything outside of schooling and work. I didnt have a social life beyond cohorts at the university, sometimes I even slept in my car because driving home would take too much of my time. I had no boyfriend. I had a job but worked so little my parents were letting me live at home for free.
deshe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:32:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This usually isn't the case during grad school. As an undergrad I took 30-35 weekly hours worth of courses each semester, which is more than I took in the last two years combined. Most of my efforts goes toward reading, writing and teaching. The former two can be done virtually anytime anywhere. Not that I don't have to put a lot of work in, just that it is far more flexible. (Also, if I need to think of a problem for a while I can actually do it while working out, which is nice).
Yep. Basically everyone I know in grad school (including myself) put on 10-30 pounds before they were done. No time for anything but job, job is mostly sedentary except for the walks between the lab and the office, everybody gets a bit softer and heavier.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:44 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is, a study found out that hight school drop outs have the highest chance of being fat and college grads the lowest.
Well, we were talking about PhDs. And while sports science doesn't sound as impressive as a PhD in chemistry or something I'm sure it still requires a lot of time, dedication, and intelligence to get into a post graduate program, write a dissertation, and then have that dissertation approved and be awarded your doctorate. My PhD isn't in hard sciences, but let me tell you, it's a lot of hard work.
MTLDAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Julie Foucher, third place in last year's Crossfit Games and third year medical student.
tlvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:33 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New Zealand has an All Black who's a lawyer, as I understand it he did his professionals course while he was out for an injury.
deshe ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:28:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing but grade a bullshit.
I am in academia, and if anything, I have more time to keep in shape than my industry friends (not that I actually do, but that's because I'm a lazy fuck, no excuses there...)
Miyelsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost weight since I started college. To lazy to go and eat sometimes. So much for freshman 15.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:13 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems that most grad students work very long hours for very little pay. Not even taking into account all of the stress that grad school induces, that situation is definitely conducive to a shitty diet and exercise habits. So it is a thing, let's just hope that this person's "scholarly life" isn't devoted to creative writing.
Well you can say her name. She is not that which shall not be named so you should be good except for the general sense of dread saying her name carries with it.
Hastur (The Unspeakable One, Him Who Is Not to be Named, Assatur, Xastur, H'aaztre, or Kaiwan) is an entity of the Cthulhu Mythos. Hastur first appeared in Ambrose Bierce's short story "Haรฏta the Shepherd" (1893) as a benign god of shepherds. Hastur is briefly mentioned in H.P. Lovecraft's The Whisperer in Darkness; previously, Robert W. Chambers had used the name in his own stories to represent both a person and a place associated with the names of several stars, including Aldebaran.
Shub-Niggurath is first mentioned in Lovecraft's revision story "The Last Test" (1928); she is never actually described in Lovecraft's fiction, but is frequently mentioned or called upon in incantations. Most of her development as a literary figure was carried out by other Mythos authors, including August Derleth, Robert Bloch, and Ramsey Campbell.
Imagei - Artistic portrayal of Shub-Niggurath, along with her "Thousand Young".
He shoved me with all of his might, sending me flying into the voting booths.
Why didn't she just vote then?
GavinZac ยท 1137 points ยท Posted at 12:58:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking 'into' as in 'insert the cd into the drive'. She means 'into' as in 'a giant asteroid smashed into the young Earth, ejecting a spray of excreta so large it formed our moon'.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
False. The Young Earth is theorised to have been formed entirely from the poop of larger planets. That's why land is mostly brown. We are descended from the gut bacteria of higher beings.
zang227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:52 on May 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A month later and this comment is still funny as fuck :D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He pushed her into the side of the voting booths causing them to collapse like domino's while screaming "Aaah I don't understand you, I'm so angry" !!!!
Well she was shoved into a whole row of them. Which one would she then vote on?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:59 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She left out the part where he smashed her so hard into the voting booths the wood broke. She did leave in the part where she talked about her message kind of like this girl.
TomLube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:47:44 on July 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god fuck you so badly. This is fucking hilarious.
Obviously this person has never voted...they have the normal booths, which are about the same width as doors, and they have huge giant booths which are wheelchair accessible...if you can't fit inside the giant wheelchair accessible ones, then you must need to enter buildings by their loading docks
I've never seen that. When I was growing up, before my state switched to electronic voting, they had voting booths about the size of a bathroom stall. There were two or three of them, all identical.
When they switched to electronic, there were no booths, just a shield around the machine to hide your votes. The state I live in now uses paper ballots, and they don't have booths either, you just sit down and fill out the ballot.
Hell, when I went to vote there wasn't even a BOOTH. Just a little dividing screen separating the table and the electronic vote podium thing. The people who voted traditionally just filled out a sheet and put it in a box.
I liked the part where the way she referred to fat people collectively as "fats". The manner in which she used it totally made it seem like it was the politically correct was to refer to a flock of fat people.
I'm so glad someone brought this up. There are so many people who troll the fat acceptance tag on tumblr its ridiculous, and it doesn't seem so far fetched that they pose as activists to fit the "SJW-out of control narrative".
Probably the same way 80% of the stuff that ends up in /r/cringe gets there: people who are bad at parsing sarcasm think its real, post it, and then the community accepts it as real and sends it to the top. This is an obvious bad troll post meant to rile people up: everybody here plays into a very specific stereotype: the jock, the obese woman, the Vietnamese woman - someone is getting a bunch of lulz off of all the dupes in the top posts here getting all personally butthurt off of their tale.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:18:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's start with the line, "You let those fat fucks have a ballot, our next president's gonna be Ronald McDonald!"
It seems like the entire episode was made up just to get that line out.
I can see it written as satire or some person writing this online to get attention not realizing how rediculous it is. I have seen worse on reddit like the one story about the grocery store incounter where a man said he didn't believe in her lifestyle do they kick him out of the store while everyone is cheering and clapping, wish I could find the link.
This is clearly a joke. Number one, I've never seen a voting booth that you have to "fit into" like a telephone booth. It's just got a curtain. Second, if there was a problem they'd probably just have her vote absentee.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TiA is still funny. I just usually click the links and don't read the comments. Yes, the sub is a circle jerk, but what similar sub isn't a circle jerk? The comments are stale as fuck because the whole SJW thing is a few years old now. Still, reading some of the ridiculously bigoted shit people write on blogs is hilarious.
God I hope this sub doesn't become like TIA. That sub is just a thinly veiled hate sub for users who want to jerk each other raw over feminism, fat people, women, video game critics and minorities.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:18:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I jerk myself raw over the TiA titty collection, and then the posts are like an after sex cigarette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I like how you're more worried about an imagined "thinly veiled" non-existent thing as opposed to the out in the open hatred that is displayed by the people who write the content that gets linked on TiA. Also, I see a shit ton of feminists and trans people on TiA, so I don't know what you're referring to.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:19 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
adgo45 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:54:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"many of us are fat because we pursues scholarly lives" Can confirm. Gained weight in college because of the knowledge that my body needed room for. Definitely not because of all the pot and take out.
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 13:27:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:36:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, too small implies that the booth isn't sized correctly. The booth is sized correctly, the lady was too big to fit. The problem was fat, not booth sizing.
[deleted] ยท -40 points ยท Posted at 13:44:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:32:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to live a short life plagued with health problems in the noble pursuit of knowledge, you stupid physically fit and probably still educated person.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"many of us are fat because we pusued scholarly lives..."
There are so many fake fake fatphobia stories at this point I can't tell when it's a fat person pretending to be discriminated against or a person pretending to be a fat person pretending to be discriminated against.
"I tried to fit into the voting booth but I knocked them down in the process and got kicked out. But no one would be sympathetic to me so let me add a few things."
glug43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for a laugh. And as true as I'm sitting here riding my vegetarian rocket ship to the moon.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the truest story I have come across in my $100% years on this sub. I wish I knew what blog this was from because this cannot be the only gem they posted. We're veering into Poe's Law territory here.
mkvamm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If she was to fat to fit the booth she couldn't have left the house because she was to fat to fit the door way.
This probably happened. But in reality she was probably causing a scene so "jock" stepped in to help timid Vietnamese receptionist but it escalated until the police arrived and arrested her for disturbing the peace.
So it's impossible to be fit and be smart? Did she trade fitness for a higher intellectual state of mind?
CBruce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:17 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I had trouble finding a belt that fit at a Ren faire, that was my wakeup call. When I went to an amusement park and the guy next to me got booted off the coaster because he was too fat for the harness to close, that was his wakeup call and a nice reminder for me.
Bitch, wake up!
spm201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god what are we doing about this terrible problem in our society that is totally 100% happening?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's newsworthy. I can't wait for it to hit national news.
One thing people always seem to forget is the amount of college athletes who become senators, business people, heck even astronauts. I mean we have had presidents who played sports in college. So the whole roid head thing isn't based on fact what so ever.
If you're too fat to fit in a voting booth, then you're probably too fat to leave your house, which means you'd have an absentee ballot. This poor beautiful creature must not have known. Would've saved her a lot of chubble.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually love this bot.
Also, laughed at "FAT PEOPLE" in big, fat letters in the middle of the word cloud.
Lootman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:50:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Many of us are fat because we perused scholarly lives"
Except if you're educated you're less likely to be obese[1]
"there is at least some evidence
that over longer periods of time more educated individuals have been less likely to be
become obese than their less educated counterparts"[2]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fake, but upvoted because funny.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:33 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she must be planetoid level of fat, I've always found the voting booth space to be more than ample. unless she lives in a district that seeks to weed out the fat vote by providing smaller then normal voting booths.
In real life the judge of elections who would be there would kick the jock out. He also would have allowed her to have assistance voting. It is legal to have assistance.
I'm just gonna go ahead and convince myself she made this as a joke knowing people wouldn't believe it. Or maybe it was just someone making it to post here.. yeah... yeah that's what happened.
Yeaaa
fharos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:41 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe everything until the ronald mcdonald joke, because jocks do those dumb jokes.
As for the cringe-inducing comeback its obvious that after the joke fatty mcfatfat went home crying because she is a strong independent large womyn who needs no grabber-thingy to vote, or to vote!
aqu4man ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fat because we pursued scholarly lives..."
Funny, the only fatties I see at university tend to be getting degrees as useless as their fat asses.
Medium and large cost different amounts. They need to know the size to complete your order and charge you. There's not just a standard size of "fries" they give you automatically.
Oh yeah. From what I understood though, isn't medium the usual size they give you? So when I ordered a number 2 and they asked me "medium or large?" Isn't it pretty much, "would you like to supersize that" but just phrased a little differently? Or am I completely missing the point? Because any other fast food place I go if I just order a number 2, it's just understood that I want a medium unless I say otherwise.
Well "Super Size" was, well, a super-sized portion even compared to large. They ask you medium or large, and you have to specifically request small. So yeah, kind of rephrasing how they push large quantities of fries, only in semi-moderate sizes.
Forming a healthy relationship with food and overcoming your upbringing, addictive tendencies, self medicating tendencies, etc. are all within your power. I would consider them part of willpower. It's not just about saying no to excess food, it's about saying no to snacks and saying yes to the gym, saying no to a movie and yes to hiking, saying no to self medicating and yes to therapy for your unhealthy relationship to food. All of these decisions are within your power. It requires willpower and self discipline to stand up and take control of your problems including getting help.
LarpFish ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:31 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But has anyone ever noticed how most posts about fat women are about how they're entitled and obnoxious and ignorant and most posts about fat men (there are shockingly few) are more in the vein of "poor guy, let's boost his self esteem!" Mob mentality at its best. Women who are fat are a waste of space, because what's a woman but a pretty thing to sex and make babies? Fat men are real people with real feelings that have something else to offer the world unrelated to their bodies.
Not even a bit true. Just check out #HAES and #effyourbeautystandards. It's nearly all women. Fat girls are appearing more and more as 'strong' (ppftt) characters in movies, but fat men are still bumbling fools and unloved neck beards. Same in real life. Women are being told their bodies are beautiful no matter what, but men are still portrayed all the time as statuesque hard bodies.
Do you watch tv or movies at all? There are tons of guys who are appreciated for their talents outside of how hot they are, while 90% of female media figures are sexy and slender. Can you even name a fat mainstream actress besides Melissa McCarthy (who, by the way, is defined more by her weight than anything else about her)? There's tons of guys on tv and movies of all shapes and sizes, because not every male character is a romantic love interest (unlike female characters). Statuesque hard bodies? Wtf are you watching? Turn off twilight. Lol it's hilarious to me that you think men's beauty standards are harsher than women's, but nevertheless, I appreciate your support than women's body image is slowly changing in the mainstream :) it's nice that progress is being made, but that doesn't mean the problems solved.
How does someone become fat because of scholarly pursuits? If you read a book on health then you would realize that the fast food your cramming down your fat hole is in fact not healthy and therefore you wouldn't be fat. I really hate how fat people do not take responsibility for themselves it's always something or someone else's fault. Last time I checked your hover round does not put a gun to your country ham shaped head and force you to eat at McDonald's unless that's a super elite option that I'm unaware of.
This is not totally related to this otherwise funny post but :
Has Reddit always hated fat people or is it a recent change ? I feel this site is really harsh on people who are probably not content with their own physical state and willing to change. Places like r/fatpeoplehate, despite giving me a few guilty laughs, are just cancerous and full of spite.
PS : am fit yo, I run and stuff
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
AskMeIfImAHuman ยท 2283 points ยท Posted at 11:18:36 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"You can't just have your characters announce how they feel, that makes me feel angry!"
CoruscantSunset ยท 294 points ยท Posted at 17:55:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Listen here, young Mr. Muscle Man, if that is your real name! I'll have you know that many of the more corpulent among us became this way while pursuing a life of scholarlyness. My post count on the MacGyver Fan Club messageboard is 150,000. What web-based forum do you frequent?'
'Ugh! How are you combining sounds into words and those words into sentences?! I don't understand this, so I'm pissed off! When I get pissed off I push things!'
Entire library is destroyed
'You not voting here! You take you egg roll and a hot-a-sour soup and you go now! Price $8.50. Tip not included. You go now!! Beech.'
hellogovna ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:11:30 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop giggling from reading this
iceburner2 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:24:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Aziz Ansari's voice. Sounds like one of his lines!
hellogovna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:34 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I read this and imagined it as a skit from family guy.
iceburner2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:29:59 on March 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it sounded repetitive and didn't make you laugh? ;)
jytudkins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:02 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't.
professororange ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 13:56:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm stupid, so stupid, much stupider than youuuuu"
NominalCaboose ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 15:46:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"..-in every waaay!"
[deleted] ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 16:31:28 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You leave forever beeeeech
Andyk123 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:03:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has to become a thing here
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:16:13 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MartinTM ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:08:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_sZ4DmUCw4
Canadia86 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:22:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"(Bad Quality)"
I appreciate the honesty.
coffeedude7 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:16:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's just. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupider than you.
wazoheat ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:56:43 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant.
ManOfDrinks ยท 345 points ยท Posted at 14:41:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sure you can!
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 15:17:45 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who's the artist? The art style looks very familiar.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 15:33:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:35:46 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I think thats who it is
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:01:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed it is the schmorky.
Peartato59 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:45 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dude, that is Schmorky! I saw this comic years ago before following him on Twitter and I didn't realize till just now that it's the same artist.
rockytheboxer ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 13:52:35 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's those darn writers. They make me madder than a....yak in heat.
Subliminal_Nuance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me madder than fish grease!
JaggerA ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:14:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not the first time it's happened tho
0274619937389 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:26:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine being the writer who forgot to italicize "disappointed"
nitrous2401 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:51:24 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, he said it was actually an homage to some other show/movie where they did the same kind of gag.
ShaneDAWS0N ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:58:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh poor Kevin
Roboyoyo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:19:11 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐๐I NEED MORE OF THESE
The_Narrator_9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:22 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Ron Burgundy?
optionallycrazy ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:37:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't know what is going on in this story but I am pissed for no reason now and I'm indicating that emotion!"
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:37:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad :(
eatmydonuts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:21:26 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I was like "aww dude, that sucks :("
But then I unretarded myself enough to realize what was up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:31 on March 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
eatmydonuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:54 on March 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but (s)he wouldn't feel sad about it if they had no emotions.
ChucklefuckBitch ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:21:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The bully in question
heirtoflesh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:50:13 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/sFBhR4QcBtE/maxresdefault.jpg
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 11:25:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you AHuman?
Ferl74 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 11:49:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's the robot devil.
yourselfiegotleaked ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 13:54:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He just wants his hands back, damn it!
Hobbes4247791 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:57:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Never! A deal's a deal, even with a dirty dealer!
StrawberryR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:58:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Very well, then I'll take what I want from LEEEEEEEEELAAAAAAAAAA
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:57:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha you don't need to know
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:00:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFBhR4QcBtE
Nulono ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*;
mentholbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:26:06 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
" just then the once lovely asian lady turned to me & and with EXTRA slanty eyes she exclaimied YOU NO VORTE HERE ANYMOLE,YOU CAST YOLE BARROT AT ANOTHEL VORTEENG BOOTH FAT BEECH!!!'''
RobCoxxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:09 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just made me think of the Key and Peele bullying skit
DuelistDeCoolest ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 12:18:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol, I posted this exact comment. Then I scrolled down and saw you beat me to it.
Edit: Ouch
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:55:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, went to high school with this guy. He's legit, you guys.
[deleted] ยท 1250 points ยท Posted at 08:34:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Many of us are fat because we pursued scholarly lives' what does that even mean?
MikeHunturtze ยท 2228 points ยท Posted at 08:38:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's spent a lot of time studying menus.
ownage99988 ยท 548 points ยท Posted at 12:53:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
m'enu
[deleted] ยท 289 points ยท Posted at 15:54:19 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tips waitress and fedora
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 18:39:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tipping something that large could prove dangerous.
Ua_Tsaug ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 19:25:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It could knock over voting booths.
TheFarquaadSquad ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:43:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And make her no vote there anymore, beech
Ua_Tsaug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frist of all, how dare yo u.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tips waitress. M'Bacon
Zebezian ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:26:19 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Just when you think all the m'[x] jokes are used up, another comes along. Glorious.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:58 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sh'amu
kramfive ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:34:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
French and Italian restaurants. They are for smart people.
greycubed ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 09:18:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
not all fat people are stupid.
[deleted] ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 09:37:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beech
GeodeathiC ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 10:05:46 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beeched whale
trueatheist2014 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:44:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beech
The14thBaron ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:13:52 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the scientific name for beech is "fagus."
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:45:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OP is a bundle of beech sticks.
phaseMonkey ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:45:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Neither are all jocks. Checkmate mr muscles!
L053R ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:33:30 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
MikeHunturtze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, stranger.
Bmpsgp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first actual laugh today. Thank you sir...here's your upvote.
-TaborlinTheGreat- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My first actual cringe today. Thank you sir... here's your downvote.
WhatPeopleDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:04 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit
painfullyalone ยท 338 points ยท Posted at 09:36:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was common knowledge that it isn't possible for someone to enjoy reading without also being obese. That's why it isn't her fault that's she's fat, it has everything to do with her scholarly interests and absolutely nothing to do with laziness or a poor diet. It's actually a lot like how only absolute idiots are skinny. That's why the antagonist in that post was having such a hard time understanding what was going on, because skinny people are just a bunch of mean retards.
acroyear3 ยท 252 points ยท Posted at 11:58:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I put on 3lb just reading your comment.
auggs ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 12:33:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3lbs? Looks like someone has been pursuing a scholarly life lately
abk006 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:33:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can feel my thin privilege leaving me...it's like a plastic bag, drifting in the wind, wanting to start again.
chaosharmonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I really wanna lose three pounds...
belikewhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well all you need to do is exercise, like some dumb idiot
riffler24 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:27:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I assume you meant to write "skinnies" in place of skinny people, to be more scholarly
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:00:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the real problem with the "fat, stupid husband" stereotype in sitcoms. They've got it backwards; he should be a genius!
Alysiat28 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:39:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Much like most doctors are obese, right?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:46:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I can't read a book without doing about 50 burrito curls.
JohnParish ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 08:39:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mind over matter? "I'm fat because I am working out my brain instead"? That was my guess.
JesusFChristMan ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:28:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Irony here being she sounds like an idiot...
Kar_Athri ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:40:26 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently if you study hard, it means you can never go to the gym ever.
Probably because you're too smart of the gym.
5henaniganZ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:31:35 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the real sad part. At least for me, my academic performance was significantly improved when I made the gym a priority. I have more energy, I sleep better, I have better focus, and my retention is better when I work out regularly. 4 years as a Computer Science major proved that if I go without exercise for a few weeks, I had to study twice as hard to get the same results.
ixiduffixi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:16 on May 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is scientifically proven that regular exercise and good diet improves brain function.
Douche_Kayak ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 13:02:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure. I've found that all the Adderall I've been mainlining in pursuit of my degree keeps me from getting fat. She must be doing it wrong
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:05:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a lot of the "scholarly" types I know are at least smart enough to make reasonable lifestyle choices. Like not eating an entire large pizza and a couple pints of ice cream in one sitting because of their condishuns.
baldylox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:28 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In her case, 'scholarly' means 'took a bunch of Women's Studies courses to learn how to blame everyone but my lazy ass for my morbid obesity'.
[deleted] ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 13:30:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 14:34:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 14:54:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 15:47:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand your
24 hourcommie european clock and it makes me angry!Andyk123 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:05:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand this, so I'm pissed off!
zoraluigi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:07:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's away from home from 8:30a to 10p. What hell is this.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:26:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Roert42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:09 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can't you just do some push ups and sit ups while your waiting for your chemicals to react?
coffeedude7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:19:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Military time is the best time my friend. And I'm.American and not in the military.
surrogateuterus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:56:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am in no way agreeing that pursuit of academics is a reason to blame on being fat... but, in what universe do scholars have more flexible schedules? When I was nearing the end of my schooling, I had no time for anything outside of schooling and work. I didnt have a social life beyond cohorts at the university, sometimes I even slept in my car because driving home would take too much of my time. I had no boyfriend. I had a job but worked so little my parents were letting me live at home for free.
deshe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:32:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This usually isn't the case during grad school. As an undergrad I took 30-35 weekly hours worth of courses each semester, which is more than I took in the last two years combined. Most of my efforts goes toward reading, writing and teaching. The former two can be done virtually anytime anywhere. Not that I don't have to put a lot of work in, just that it is far more flexible. (Also, if I need to think of a problem for a while I can actually do it while working out, which is nice).
stellarfury ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Basically everyone I know in grad school (including myself) put on 10-30 pounds before they were done. No time for anything but job, job is mostly sedentary except for the walks between the lab and the office, everybody gets a bit softer and heavier.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:44 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It is, a study found out that hight school drop outs have the highest chance of being fat and college grads the lowest.
BobaFettuccine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:01:33 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Mmm... Or the Klitschko brothers... Doctors, boxers, beautiful...
MTLDAD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's a bit different. They're doctors of Sports Science, not medical doctors.
BobaFettuccine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:20:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, we were talking about PhDs. And while sports science doesn't sound as impressive as a PhD in chemistry or something I'm sure it still requires a lot of time, dedication, and intelligence to get into a post graduate program, write a dissertation, and then have that dissertation approved and be awarded your doctorate. My PhD isn't in hard sciences, but let me tell you, it's a lot of hard work.
MTLDAD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or Julie Foucher, third place in last year's Crossfit Games and third year medical student.
tlvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:33 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
New Zealand has an All Black who's a lawyer, as I understand it he did his professionals course while he was out for an injury.
IllBeGoingNow ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:43:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Means she isn't very educated and doesn't even realize it...
http://m.amednews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?aid=/20120525/government/305259997&template=mobile_art
deshe ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:28:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing but grade a bullshit.
I am in academia, and if anything, I have more time to keep in shape than my industry friends (not that I actually do, but that's because I'm a lazy fuck, no excuses there...)
Miyelsh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've lost weight since I started college. To lazy to go and eat sometimes. So much for freshman 15.
drekstorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It means having a hamburger in one hand and a book in the other.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:26:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Pssh, more like a hamburger in one hand and a dessert menu in the other.
DDancy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:09:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know what that means? How does that make you feel?
G102Y5568 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:08:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's too busy learning and studying to exercise and eat healthy.
cjm92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reading books and being smart and stuff doesn't leave much time for salads, shitlord!
Agreeing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you have trouble understanding - are you also pissed off?
BrownBoognish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You asking oppresses her Mr. Muscles.
andrewdt10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think she meant that she "was fat because she wasn't a physically-active individual."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:01 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Suddenly playing with yourself is a scholarly pursuit
weggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:12 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I made it thru college and even lost a bunch of weight in the process.
hellogovna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:50 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand so I'm pissed off aaaaaargh
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:08:13 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It seems that most grad students work very long hours for very little pay. Not even taking into account all of the stress that grad school induces, that situation is definitely conducive to a shitty diet and exercise habits. So it is a thing, let's just hope that this person's "scholarly life" isn't devoted to creative writing.
GeauxTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
doesnt your brain get heavier when you learn a bunch of new stuff?
[deleted] ยท 390 points ยท Posted at 10:27:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She was so fat she became multiple people
drekstorm ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 13:07:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda makes me think of Shub-niggurath
LittleHelperRobot ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:08:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non-mobile: Shub-niggurath
That's why I'm here, I don't judge you. PM /u/xl0 if I'm causing any trouble. WUT?
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:49:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like the kind of word I'll avoid saying in public
drekstorm ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:54:26 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well you can say her name. She is not that which shall not be named so you should be good except for the general sense of dread saying her name carries with it.
autowikibot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:55:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hastur:
Interesting: Hastur Lord | The Heritage of Hastur | Small snub icosicosidodecahedron | Sharra's Exile
Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words
LittleHelperRobot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:52 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Non-mobile: that which shall not be named
That's why I'm here, I don't judge you. PM /u/xl0 if I'm causing any trouble. WUT?
cabforpitt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:16 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You might get beaten up though
Anathema_Redditus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:41:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Iร Iร!
autowikibot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:08:24 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shub-Niggurath:
Interesting: Shub-Niggurath (band) | Great snub dodecicosidodecahedron | The Tree on the Hill | Cthulhu Mythos deities
Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words
smitteh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf u can't drop 411 on Shub without mentioning Quake that ain't right
Blast_Bonkers ยท 1394 points ยท Posted at 08:50:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't she just vote then?
GavinZac ยท 1137 points ยท Posted at 12:58:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking 'into' as in 'insert the cd into the drive'. She means 'into' as in 'a giant asteroid smashed into the young Earth, ejecting a spray of excreta so large it formed our moon'.
[deleted] ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 14:44:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that excreta isn't shit.
CharlieDancey ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 15:52:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
excreta. ษชkหskriหtษ,ษk-/. noun. waste matter discharged from the body, especially faeces and urine.
It is sometimes. Usually once a day.
RawCucumber ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:27:26 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I shit 40 times a day plus or minus one
FeierInMeinHose ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:51:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You... you should probably see a doctor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ease up off the coffee and beef diet, bro.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:13 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're shitting way too much, I shit like 20 times a day. Sometimes into a copier.
ANUSBLASTER_MKII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's no poo...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You should know as you blast anus'
phluxeternus ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 13:33:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like you.
GavinZac ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 13:51:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:D
GillicuttyMcAnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Ejecta is maybe the better word in this instance.
As in "... creating a spray of ejecta ..."
GavinZac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:47:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
False. The Young Earth is theorised to have been formed entirely from the poop of larger planets. That's why land is mostly brown. We are descended from the gut bacteria of higher beings.
zang227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:52 on May 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A month later and this comment is still funny as fuck :D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Timmisiewicz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:05:00 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but it was still some creative imagery anyway.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 14:06:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GavinZac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:13:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks, I'm eating
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:36 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that place is cringey as fuck just like most subs where people laugh at other people
nothingsnew ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:46:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I was thinking.
Good guy Mr Muscles gets her into voting booth and then she bitches about how he got her there and doesn't vote.
hellogovna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:41 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He pushed her into the side of the voting booths causing them to collapse like domino's while screaming "Aaah I don't understand you, I'm so angry" !!!!
G102Y5568 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:07:49 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
For that matter, how could he send her flying with a single push if she weighed so much?
phaseMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well she was shoved into a whole row of them. Which one would she then vote on?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:59 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She left out the part where he smashed her so hard into the voting booths the wood broke. She did leave in the part where she talked about her message kind of like this girl.
TomLube ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:47:44 on July 2, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god fuck you so badly. This is fucking hilarious.
riffler24 ยท 298 points ยท Posted at 12:30:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously this person has never voted...they have the normal booths, which are about the same width as doors, and they have huge giant booths which are wheelchair accessible...if you can't fit inside the giant wheelchair accessible ones, then you must need to enter buildings by their loading docks
dj_bpayne ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 15:21:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also in a lot of states they have portable voting machines that can be brought out to a handicapped persons vehicle
Uh I mean this $420% happened of course
riffler24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The dankest of all true stories
alleigh25 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:32:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen that. When I was growing up, before my state switched to electronic voting, they had voting booths about the size of a bathroom stall. There were two or three of them, all identical.
When they switched to electronic, there were no booths, just a shield around the machine to hide your votes. The state I live in now uses paper ballots, and they don't have booths either, you just sit down and fill out the ballot.
riffler24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we still mostly do paper voting
StrawberryR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, when I went to vote there wasn't even a BOOTH. Just a little dividing screen separating the table and the electronic vote podium thing. The people who voted traditionally just filled out a sheet and put it in a box.
phaseMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well. If she's that 600lbs fatty from the TV.
mynameispaulsimon ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 14:08:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously you underestimate how big a hamplanet can get.
riffler24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
apparently!
Dirty_Liberal_Hippie ยท 1642 points ยท Posted at 08:20:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand this so I'm pissed off!
[deleted] ยท 247 points ยท Posted at 08:57:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I will now continue to push you towards the voting booths in an attempt to piss off a stereotypical Vietnamese lady!
acroyear3 ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 11:55:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised she didn't offer to love the jock longtime, to be honest.
Blaskowicz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:29:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She did, but he's from Texas.
Andyk123 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 19:07:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, Texas?!? Only steers and queers come from Texas, and you don't look like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down, doesn't it?
idwthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:56 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress
drekstorm ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:59:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bet she could suck a golf ball through a water hose.
ratcranberries ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:46:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
R.I.P. Gomer Pyle.
throwthetrash15 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:20:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
re so horny. suki suki fuki fuki. 5 dorrar. one time. re ruv u rong time.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:24:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Garden hose, sir.
Cuban19 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:35:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or suck peanut butter through a Capri-Sun straw.
k5berry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:02 on March 26, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing there was a black man who said "oh sheet dis bitch trippin' as fuck mayne!" after it all went down.
Every_Geth ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 13:22:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU LEEV FAWEVA, BEECH!
ShortWarrior ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 15:15:35 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
NO MORE CHOW MIEN! YOU PAY NOW!
Lolzrfunni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:04 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What happened, China? You used to be cool...
JohnParish ยท 591 points ยท Posted at 08:35:49 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Sending me flying into the voting booths.
You leave forever, beech.
hzlaugher ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 12:49:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OHai Mark
TedFartass ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 13:07:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So how's your sex life?
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:17:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're not my fucking mother!
ShortWarrior ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 15:14:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're nothing but a chicken chee chee chee
Sciencepenguin ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 15:58:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY DENNY?
ShortWarrior ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:39:08 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa loves you, as a human beeeen.
sirgraemecracker ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:29:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You're tearing me apart, Lisa...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:34:17 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In a few minutes, beetch
broadfuckingcity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:46 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a story, ShortWarrior!
ShortWarrior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:55:00 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hai broad
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 13:19:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TedFartass ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:22:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT
WHAT THE FUCK
Wolfdude91 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 14:27:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you could really use my toucan.
WhyLisaWhy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:52 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What did you just say you chucklef*ck bitch??
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:52:37 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! Don't bring Beechcraft into this. They build a fine airplane and I will not have you defacing their good name with fat people.
[deleted] ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 12:07:17 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This just does not make sense. Who the fuck would say that?
iisno1uno ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 12:09:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Residents of Thathappenedland.
moneys5 ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 13:14:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm also totally super jealous of the narrator's hot curves!"
Wolfdude91 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:29:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Only dogs go for ballots!
Mofeux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:52 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fathappened
DualShocks ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:59:36 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You must not have learned a lot on the football field, because who WOULDN'T say this?
SamBone123 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:25:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. I work construction and find myself saying this multiple times a day.
happy_pants_man ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:33:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roided freaks. Didn't you read?
FuckBrendan ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:05:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Muscles
frenchmeister ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:59:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 99% certain this is a troll mocking #fatphobia posts just because of that line.
ShortWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you doubting the validity
of this statement
sir?
andrewdt10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No one would. That's because this isn't real. hahaha.
Fantasticunts ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 13:10:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this Key & Peele sketch.
thesurfingwalrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"coming reluctantly"
ManateeofSteel ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:39:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hulk no understand, hulk smash!"
Harvester_of_Sorrow ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:26:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
-"Mr. Muscles"
smazga ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:38:37 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it! --Lucille
teasider ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:25:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Dissapointed!!"
ShortWarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What's a football!
JosephND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:04 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I always say this when I don't understand something. $120% truth
concavecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SHITHULK SMASH
someguynamedg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:36 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh hai Mark.
painfullyalone ยท 571 points ยท Posted at 09:40:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I liked the part where the way she referred to fat people collectively as "fats". The manner in which she used it totally made it seem like it was the politically correct was to refer to a flock of fat people.
froderich ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 11:19:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The collective noun for fat people isn't 'flock', it's 'herd'. Check your privilege.
Val_Hallen ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 14:38:46 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong.
The correct term is "sloshing".
A sloshing of porkbeasts attacked the buffet."
TwoTailedFox ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:12:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
moistens audibly
akatherunt ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:51:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Gags
Ziggonator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That which has just happened here is to be considered art, for it was glorious.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:38:49 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'Pod' is also acceptable.
PresBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:00 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Or a "gagle"
GeodeathiC ยท 227 points ยท Posted at 10:08:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, it sounds like an idiot trying to start a flame war against obese people.
If there is some overweight person really writing such stuff, it's fairly obvious that what she was studying isn't something "scholarly."
indigo_panther ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 10:21:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad someone brought this up. There are so many people who troll the fat acceptance tag on tumblr its ridiculous, and it doesn't seem so far fetched that they pose as activists to fit the "SJW-out of control narrative".
fiftyseven ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 14:07:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Poe's law to be considered, but I'm confident in labelling this one as satire.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:23:59 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
scumshot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the same way 80% of the stuff that ends up in /r/cringe gets there: people who are bad at parsing sarcasm think its real, post it, and then the community accepts it as real and sends it to the top. This is an obvious bad troll post meant to rile people up: everybody here plays into a very specific stereotype: the jock, the obese woman, the Vietnamese woman - someone is getting a bunch of lulz off of all the dupes in the top posts here getting all personally butthurt off of their tale.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:05 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gordo65 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:18:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Let's start with the line, "You let those fat fucks have a ballot, our next president's gonna be Ronald McDonald!"
It seems like the entire episode was made up just to get that line out.
birdington1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:56 on April 10, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares. Still funny as fuck.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the fatty.
FreeBroccoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you suggesting this story isn't $100% true?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:39:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Found the fatty.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:34:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
froderich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
First they came for the fats, and I said nothing, because I have a modicum of self-restraint when faced with a pie...
Splardt ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:45:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fats Domino
SuperUltraTurboMegaJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Minnesota Fats
Pool Legend
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fatties: Fart 2
Great Film
iceburner2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:27:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha came here to post this
parahsalin_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:58 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'flock of fat people'
gosh I am having the worst day and for some reason those words made me burst into laughter for a good minute. Thank you.
painfullyalone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:20 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'm glad I could help!
LordofCookies ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 12:57:26 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, I didn't like the way you stereotyped fat people so I'm going to do the exact same thing about buff guys and Vietnamese old women"
mynameispaulsimon ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:10:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol ancient and the Vietnamese lady has a Latin American accent for some reason. Just why.
GeauxTiger ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 15:28:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"and then the Vietnamese lady threw a circle of pizza dough in the air and yelled, 'why you gotta breaka you mama's heart!"
LordofCookies ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:12:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the asian accent is correct
imnotaswede ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, everyone knows that it's impossible to be jacked and intelligent at the same time!
Kaneshadow ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 12:16:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the parodyest of parodies
bigbadiewolf ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 14:16:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right, everyone was so stereotypical, I was hoping for the vietnamese lady to say "love you long time" at some point
baldylox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:22 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And how does the fat chick know that she's Vietnamese? She could be Laotian, Thai, Cambodian ...
I'm wondering if the fat chick ate her, and she tasted more Vietnamese than anything else.
floor-pi ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 14:27:16 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Vote YES for President Ronald - Have it your way
broadfuckingcity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:07:31 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm lovin' it!
Tw1tcHy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:17 on April 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Have it your way was Burger King's slogan though
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:13 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If a candidate could create all-day breakfast at McDonalds, he could be a dog molester and still have my vote.
BigMacka ยท 256 points ยท Posted at 12:02:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This screams "joke" honestly. Funniest thing I've read today.
Yeazelicious ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 12:45:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand this, so I'm pissed off" is what made it clear to me that it was.
sqectre ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:48:25 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole thing is poorly written satire. The cringe is that so many people think this is real.
hellogovna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:30 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see it written as satire or some person writing this online to get attention not realizing how rediculous it is. I have seen worse on reddit like the one story about the grocery store incounter where a man said he didn't believe in her lifestyle do they kick him out of the store while everyone is cheering and clapping, wish I could find the link.
jbbeefy57 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 13:51:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The best part was
>you let these fat fucks have a ballot, our next president is gonna be Ronald McDonald! Dumb shits!
It was so unexpected to me for some reason and I bursted out laughing.
GenitalJamboree ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:42:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I loved the "Not all Fat people are dumb"
rambi2222 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:56:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some Fats are scholars.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The justification for that did it for me.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:03:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
99% of the content here is obvious satire.
Andyk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be a troll from 4chan or something, but I admittedly laughed my ass off
definitelynotaspy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:10 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Reaching device" makes it really obvious. I don't think this was ever intended to be taken seriously.
dratthecookies ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 12:38:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is clearly a joke. Number one, I've never seen a voting booth that you have to "fit into" like a telephone booth. It's just got a curtain. Second, if there was a problem they'd probably just have her vote absentee.
majoroutage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
At least where I am, they have wheelchair accessible booths, that are obviously a bit larger. She could've easily used one of those.
theunnoanprojec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:53 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the fact that the characters were all so over the top stereotypical.
TKInstinct ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:19:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think they usually have at least one larger booth to accommodate big people.
BangEndedScoot ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 12:23:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Boy howdyโฆ the people of this place are easily swayed. They went from sympathetic to an evil mob within one act of male on female violence!
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 14:06:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sub is quickly turning into /r/JokeIDidntGet this is a parody post and over 500 upvotes in 5 hours.
dillyd ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:31:59 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sub is so oblivious sometimes.
adamsandals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
12 year old who hasn't yet realized that people lie on the internet confirmed.
PurifiedVenom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd ask how you know it's a parody post
lolnopound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:44 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You do know that satire doesn't affect truthfulness
cynicalaa22 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:43:49 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the least convincing stories I've read on here yet.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 14:05:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That is because it is a parody of those posts who complain about fat shaming.
Swaffire ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 10:44:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I can see this being on /r/tumblrinaction
Kar_Athri ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:42:13 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Recently /r/thatHappened has has a lot of /r/tumblrinaction type content
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:58:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kar_Athri ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:04:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is always /r/iamverysmart and /r/whiteknighting for general procrastination, but its only a matter of time before they turn too..
nodthenbow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:59:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TiA is still funny. I just usually click the links and don't read the comments. Yes, the sub is a circle jerk, but what similar sub isn't a circle jerk? The comments are stale as fuck because the whole SJW thing is a few years old now. Still, reading some of the ridiculously bigoted shit people write on blogs is hilarious.
Datawych ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:06:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIA's become a hardcore circlejerk. Basically people being like...
And SJW sockpuppets/sympathizers who are trying to convince people they're right when no one else is hearing it.
Miyelsh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see that at all. More like people collectively pointing their fingers and laughing at idiots on tumblr.
BrobdingnagianBooty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:12 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
also /r/fatlogic
AliasAurora ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 11:36:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God I hope this sub doesn't become like TIA. That sub is just a thinly veiled hate sub for users who want to jerk each other raw over feminism, fat people, women, video game critics and minorities.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:18:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AliasAurora ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 12:35:08 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you haven't personally seen something that you personally consider hate, then it must not exist.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:37:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bad argument. It simply doesn't exist there the way you portray it
Yanns ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:48:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are occasional racist or sexist comments from the type of people you describe, but they are typically downvoted into oblivion quite quickly
ManganeseComptroller ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:52:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I jerk myself raw over the TiA titty collection, and then the posts are like an after sex cigarette.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I like how you're more worried about an imagined "thinly veiled" non-existent thing as opposed to the out in the open hatred that is displayed by the people who write the content that gets linked on TiA. Also, I see a shit ton of feminists and trans people on TiA, so I don't know what you're referring to.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:19 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
adgo45 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:54:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She reminds me of Ignatius J. Reilly
TheHouseDown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:51:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"many of us are fat because we pursues scholarly lives" Can confirm. Gained weight in college because of the knowledge that my body needed room for. Definitely not because of all the pot and take out.
daysdncnfusd ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 10:47:24 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to point out a small item everyone seems to be missing.
The booth was not "too small". Fatty was "too big".
That is all. Carry on.
SJVellenga ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:04:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My wayward son?
Mlerner42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:33 on March 23, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There'll be peace when you are done?
[deleted] ยท -27 points ยท Posted at 13:27:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 13:36:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, too small implies that the booth isn't sized correctly. The booth is sized correctly, the lady was too big to fit. The problem was fat, not booth sizing.
[deleted] ยท -40 points ยท Posted at 13:44:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:32:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:32:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fatpeoplehate is that way ---->
daysdncnfusd and Jonesty are right. But that's no reason to go full retard.
Fyller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:22:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, "I don't understand this, so I'm pissed off!" Did she meet the fucking HULK or something?
boastfulbadger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:32:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Some of us are fat because we pursued scholarly lives. We ate the books after we read them just to make sure we absorbed all the knowledge."
FinnishFinn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:39:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the "scholarly life" doesn't teach you how to eat healthy and exercise.
JaimenHume ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to live a short life plagued with health problems in the noble pursuit of knowledge, you stupid physically fit and probably still educated person.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:54:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"many of us are fat because we pusued scholarly lives..."
Didn't realize learning had so many calories.
rachael_ruth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:49:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Out of the all things that happened this happend the most.
jaberwockie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on August 18, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the definition of /r/thathappened
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a troll. Cmon guys.
ShredderZX ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:37:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's painfully obvious satire.
broadfuckingcity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Frist of all, how dare yo u
Cheesemacher ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:54:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/WritingPrompts
ChanRancher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:50:36 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
We women finally get to vote and she eats herself out of that right? What a waste of space... A lot of space apparently.
BlastCapSoldier ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:27:32 on July 17, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it when the old lady offered to get this woman a reaching device. It's like homer in the episode where he becomes obese to work from home.
maran999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:10 on August 10, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"On the contrary, many of us are fat because we pursued scholarly lives!" lolololololol
ClicheTheCamgirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:59 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Booth? Been voting a while now and have never been in an enclosed "booth" structure. It's just a walk up screen-desk type thing. There's no enclosure.
TheJinxxDinosaur ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:05:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was always under the impression that every voting center had a disabled booth?
Andyk123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:36 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure it's legally mandated in America
frog_licker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:04 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I would think every center would need one under ADA.
Nayborg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love how racist the portrayal of the Vietnamese lady is lol. Don't oppress her curves though.
mickeyblu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:45:16 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I am pleased by the twist ending. I expected everyone to erupt into applause when she told off the jock.
stevenjk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:18:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ya pal, you're right at home
CC-42069 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:43 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love that she actually used the term "fats" to apply to overweight people
also /r/fatpeoplehate
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is satire.
As well, this reminds me of Ignatius Riley.
blamb211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:29 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not a single sentence of that was believable. Everyone was a massive caricature. But, it was posted on tumblr, so it must be true!
OmarSmartMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:33 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh, blacks were denied to vote before 50 years ago for being black, now this, the U.S. government should see this
mijamala1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:00:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want off Mr. Muscles wild ride
heckicopter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:54 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are so many fake fake fatphobia stories at this point I can't tell when it's a fat person pretending to be discriminated against or a person pretending to be a fat person pretending to be discriminated against.
SnipSnipSnap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this gem, I have not laughed that hard in ages.
FragMeNot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scholarly = read and eat all the things?
Douche_Kayak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I tried to fit into the voting booth but I knocked them down in the process and got kicked out. But no one would be sympathetic to me so let me add a few things."
glug43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:23:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Good for a laugh. And as true as I'm sitting here riding my vegetarian rocket ship to the moon.
xDangeRxDavEx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why do I have the feeling she's leaving a lot out on her part?
Lugicarus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:11:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a whale of a time
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the truest story I have come across in my $100% years on this sub. I wish I knew what blog this was from because this cannot be the only gem they posted. We're veering into Poe's Law territory here.
mkvamm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If she was to fat to fit the booth she couldn't have left the house because she was to fat to fit the door way.
wOlfLisK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:05:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This probably happened. But in reality she was probably causing a scene so "jock" stepped in to help timid Vietnamese receptionist but it escalated until the police arrived and arrested her for disturbing the peace.
Chelesuarez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always says, 99.9% of the time things make sense. If you hear a story and it doesn't make sense it's because you're missing some information.
This puzzle is missing pieces.
ProcrastinateMoar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So it's impossible to be fit and be smart? Did she trade fitness for a higher intellectual state of mind?
CBruce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:40:17 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When I had trouble finding a belt that fit at a Ren faire, that was my wakeup call. When I went to an amusement park and the guy next to me got booted off the coaster because he was too fat for the harness to close, that was his wakeup call and a nice reminder for me.
Bitch, wake up!
spm201 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god what are we doing about this terrible problem in our society that is totally 100% happening?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's newsworthy. I can't wait for it to hit national news.
Credit__copasetic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:35:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what a pathetic attempt at a story
glitter_vomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:39:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
oh wow. nothing has ever happened as much as this did. what an incredible story.
chase98584 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell writes this shit
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Proves 1964 civil rights act didn't go far enough
Mansyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:17 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This one is
Stupidconspiracies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
One thing people always seem to forget is the amount of college athletes who become senators, business people, heck even astronauts. I mean we have had presidents who played sports in college. So the whole roid head thing isn't based on fact what so ever.
broadfuckingcity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:56 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am beech.
OctanePhantom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:31 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, was flattened by a renegade whale.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed my fat ass off.
Taki_AK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am jock's muscles.
luckystrike6488 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:18:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, nothing like claiming to be oppressed and then casually mocking a foreigners accent.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Can confirm am voting booth. That beech knocked me over.
Bilgerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you're too fat to fit in a voting booth, then you're probably too fat to leave your house, which means you'd have an absentee ballot. This poor beautiful creature must not have known. Would've saved her a lot of chubble.
megatron37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
dropEleven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She's right though. I did laugh.
MrDoctorSmartyPants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This story brought to you by Shitlord Publishing.
bocelot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Old_Crow89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:22 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it matter if the woman was Vietnamese?
Peter51267 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Would President Ronald McDonald really be so bad?
Mr_A ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The real tragedy is this not being tagged 'quality post'.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:08 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I love her casual racism at the end WRT the poor old Vietnamese woman.
CrackAndVideogames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Roided guy: LOUD NOISES! ALSO SPORTS! LOOOOOOOOUD NOISES!!!
RedditUsername123456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:30 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best story I've ever read
HappyFdge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:40 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Top kek
The_Saucy_Pauper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:36 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"fats"
Choconilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:11 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't understand this, so I am mad"
makeswordcloudsagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:16 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here is a word cloud of all of the comments in this thread: http://i.imgur.com/7FRJCOA.png
source code | contact developer | faq
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:43:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually love this bot.
Also, laughed at "FAT PEOPLE" in big, fat letters in the middle of the word cloud.
Lootman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:50:55 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Many of us are fat because we perused scholarly lives"
Except if you're educated you're less likely to be obese[1]
"there is at least some evidence that over longer periods of time more educated individuals have been less likely to be become obese than their less educated counterparts"[2]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fake, but upvoted because funny.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:33 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean mod-approved 100% true
TYPkingston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's back!
SaxonShieldwall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:29 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pushes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So... how big were those booths?
HillaB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:15 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot imagine being so fat you can't fit in a voting booth. I'd guess they're about 2 1/2 -3ft wide
Mandalf_the_Ghey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Uh huh
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you are overweight, stupid, or lazy, you are more likely to be one of the others. It shoots up to 60% if you have two of them.
elvadot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:30 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the way this is written makes me doubt she's old enough to vote.
hired_goon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:04 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
she must be planetoid level of fat, I've always found the voting booth space to be more than ample. unless she lives in a district that seeks to weed out the fat vote by providing smaller then normal voting booths.
no_talent_ass_clown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:46 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Woman" is singular.
"Women" is plural.
Upstream15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
top fucking kek....this whole thing is clearly a joke though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:20:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There is absolutely no way this isn't a joke, and a hilarious one at that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I REALLY want to read the other side of this story. no way the nice veitnamese lady would turn on the whale unless she was a total bitch.
funny_user ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's shit like this that brings me to reddit everyday. haha.
crankypants_mcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:02 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... this has to be troll (and not a good one at that). The writing is just atrocious. 1/10 would not meme.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Incoming asshat observation, many have little sympathy for people who choose to be fat and try and use it as a handicap.
MrLancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:00 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's Precious
sockHole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this is under this sub??? I highly doubt this happened at all. Unless I direly misunderstood the purpose of this sub.
Asis_450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:45:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
what does she mean fat because of scholarly lives...?
1am1am ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:59:59 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You mean you haven't heard of the freshman 150 pounds?
Gr33nman460 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:35 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OF all the things that never happened. This happened the least.
holdmusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
double facepalms and groans so loudly that a domino line of voting booths tumbles over
DpwnShift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I've had dreams that were less made-up...
jokersleuth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:12 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Right.....the first half was believable.
DoctorRoland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:21 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Not all fat people"
ComradeChairmanKGB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:28 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like a passage out of the bible.... or a kindergarten picture book. This women is incredibly educated.
anubgek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This story has me at a crossroad. It was really funny but at the same time overtly satirical.
Cereborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK, that has to be have been written as a joke. It's satirical of too many elements.
ColonelRuffhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be satire. "Mr. Muscles" is what got me.
andrewdt10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a nice narrative, too bad it didn't happen.
thefezhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to downvote because this is a blindingly obvious joke, but I want to upvote because it's hilarious anyway.
Demonhunter115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:10 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I want to downvoted because there's people who accept this as fact, and that pisses me off, but also want to upvote for the same reason you do.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna go with "Shit that Never Happened" for 200.
fun2btrbp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me mad. It's ok for her to call him "roid freak"?
Zinski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:18 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just.... I.... no... ok no! fucking no!!! Im drawing the fucking line, in the fucking sand! NO!!!
randybob275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:41 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess someone just got done watching Black Sheep.
NorthWestChiefing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
America!
voidworship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:06 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This made me think of Black Sheep.
mgarv22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:52 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a fuckin cow
Dalfgan_the_Blue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:23 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Next on things that never happened
ShaneOfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:30 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In real life the judge of elections who would be there would kick the jock out. He also would have allowed her to have assistance voting. It is legal to have assistance.
midwestrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:55 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, if I've seen this happen once at my polling place, I've seen it happen a million times. When will these overweight voeter wannabes learn?
jesus321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:05 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I like how she uses #ableism to try to dignify being fat as a disability
PhreneticReaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:02 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
3,000 upvotes for what is painfully obviously a joke.
Sometimes I'm a little disappointed in you Reddit.
Picnicpanther ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You leave forever
Ekrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:11 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing she meant she finally found tumbler
LDM123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:37 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She can't force you not to vote. Matter of fact, you're local voting place is the only place you can vote.
Adeviate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:19 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet merciful...
I'm just gonna go ahead and convince myself she made this as a joke knowing people wouldn't believe it. Or maybe it was just someone making it to post here.. yeah... yeah that's what happened.
Yeaaa
fharos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:41 on August 19, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I believe everything until the ronald mcdonald joke, because jocks do those dumb jokes.
As for the cringe-inducing comeback its obvious that after the joke fatty mcfatfat went home crying because she is a strong independent large womyn who needs no grabber-thingy to vote, or to vote!
aqu4man ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:54 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Fat because we pursued scholarly lives..."
Funny, the only fatties I see at university tend to be getting degrees as useless as their fat asses.
JohnnyZondo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:48:32 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am Taco Bell tacos stashed in fat ladies bag.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:09 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most.
Aliwet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:24 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this is fake. I was severly overweight and never had anything past the typical name calling done to me.
But I'm not complaining because I lost weight and you in shape. Now I feel great. And all the assholes in my life before now are the fat ones. XD
kevinkat2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is /r/fatpeoplehate gold.
deshe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:27:03 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Pffftt...
Edit 2: Downvoted by fat stem undergrads looking for excuses
Edit: Source: I am a fat stem grad student
Lawrence-m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:58 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
In what world is this being ableist?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:04:20 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
i a world where
"muh genitics make me fyat"
poppyfunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I do not believe "that happened"
mynameispaulsimon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:10:38 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Get out.
Crud_monkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:25 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That roid freak's name? Albert Einstein.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:57 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if your too fat to fit in the booth, and it was your poor choices that got you that big, then maybe letting you have choices is a bad thing.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:27 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RobBelmonte ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:16:00 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They don't ask if you want to supersize in America anymore. Because, well . . . yeah, too many people lacking in self-control.
StereoJoe14 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:07 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I went to one last night and they asked me. I guess they didn't ask me to "supersize" but they asked if I wanted a medium or a large.
RobBelmonte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually necessary for cost I believe.
StereoJoe14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? I'm legitimately curious.
RobBelmonte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:48 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Medium and large cost different amounts. They need to know the size to complete your order and charge you. There's not just a standard size of "fries" they give you automatically.
StereoJoe14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:51 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah. From what I understood though, isn't medium the usual size they give you? So when I ordered a number 2 and they asked me "medium or large?" Isn't it pretty much, "would you like to supersize that" but just phrased a little differently? Or am I completely missing the point? Because any other fast food place I go if I just order a number 2, it's just understood that I want a medium unless I say otherwise.
RobBelmonte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:50 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well "Super Size" was, well, a super-sized portion even compared to large. They ask you medium or large, and you have to specifically request small. So yeah, kind of rephrasing how they push large quantities of fries, only in semi-moderate sizes.
StereoJoe14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Okay. I got it. I always thought supersized was just their large. I didn't know that. Thanks!
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:40:08 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:10 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BobaFettuccine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:23 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Forming a healthy relationship with food and overcoming your upbringing, addictive tendencies, self medicating tendencies, etc. are all within your power. I would consider them part of willpower. It's not just about saying no to excess food, it's about saying no to snacks and saying yes to the gym, saying no to a movie and yes to hiking, saying no to self medicating and yes to therapy for your unhealthy relationship to food. All of these decisions are within your power. It requires willpower and self discipline to stand up and take control of your problems including getting help.
LarpFish ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:12:31 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey everyone, it's obvious solution time!
Today's obvious solution is...
Stop being fat!
Snoozeybutton ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:12 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this post was really funny.
But has anyone ever noticed how most posts about fat women are about how they're entitled and obnoxious and ignorant and most posts about fat men (there are shockingly few) are more in the vein of "poor guy, let's boost his self esteem!" Mob mentality at its best. Women who are fat are a waste of space, because what's a woman but a pretty thing to sex and make babies? Fat men are real people with real feelings that have something else to offer the world unrelated to their bodies.
TheTipsyChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:42 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a bit true. Just check out #HAES and #effyourbeautystandards. It's nearly all women. Fat girls are appearing more and more as 'strong' (ppftt) characters in movies, but fat men are still bumbling fools and unloved neck beards. Same in real life. Women are being told their bodies are beautiful no matter what, but men are still portrayed all the time as statuesque hard bodies.
Snoozeybutton ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:55 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you watch tv or movies at all? There are tons of guys who are appreciated for their talents outside of how hot they are, while 90% of female media figures are sexy and slender. Can you even name a fat mainstream actress besides Melissa McCarthy (who, by the way, is defined more by her weight than anything else about her)? There's tons of guys on tv and movies of all shapes and sizes, because not every male character is a romantic love interest (unlike female characters). Statuesque hard bodies? Wtf are you watching? Turn off twilight. Lol it's hilarious to me that you think men's beauty standards are harsher than women's, but nevertheless, I appreciate your support than women's body image is slowly changing in the mainstream :) it's nice that progress is being made, but that doesn't mean the problems solved.
oif2010vet ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:08 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How does someone become fat because of scholarly pursuits? If you read a book on health then you would realize that the fast food your cramming down your fat hole is in fact not healthy and therefore you wouldn't be fat. I really hate how fat people do not take responsibility for themselves it's always something or someone else's fault. Last time I checked your hover round does not put a gun to your country ham shaped head and force you to eat at McDonald's unless that's a super elite option that I'm unaware of.
krunchyCervix ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:12:12 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this really happened. it doesn't belong in r/thathappened
Junebprice ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:23:43 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why would someone put lies on the internet?
krunchyCervix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:39 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I know right? if there's one place truth should reign it's on the internet
broadfuckingcity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:49 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Checkmate, skeptics!
fishsticks40 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:01:47 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be satire.
I mean, I know it $100% happened. But IF one were to make up this story surely it wouldn't be with the expectation of it being taken seriously, right?
right?
SSFriendship ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The reoccurring motif that all fat people have the struggle of a black person or a gay person. Seriously guys, it's getting old.
tokyotochicago ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:14 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is not totally related to this otherwise funny post but :
Has Reddit always hated fat people or is it a recent change ? I feel this site is really harsh on people who are probably not content with their own physical state and willing to change. Places like r/fatpeoplehate, despite giving me a few guilty laughs, are just cancerous and full of spite.
PS : am fit yo, I run and stuff
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:37:34 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is obvious satire you morons.
mrpopenfresh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:31:01 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Not all fat people are stupid. What!?
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 13:07:53 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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Thepimpandthepriest ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:34:59 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No fucking shit, Poirot.
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 13:48:44 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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suddenswimmingpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:00 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
wtf did you just say you little beech?!?!?!
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:45:40 on March 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
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suddenswimmingpotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on March 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
are you 8 years old