[deleted] ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
random man on bus gives him a stunner, then the Rock comes out calls him a jabroni and the whole bus stands up and applauds. The Rock then gave me $100 to buy more books.
[deleted] ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:42:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Rock polished up that $100% reeeal nice, turned that sumbitch sideways, and shoved it STRAIGHT UP MY CANDY ASS!
Meanwhile, girl continues to read Jane Austen, but puts the book down and decides to play Candy Crush instead after Mr. Darcy gets an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!
Malarazz ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:39:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was never a fan of the Aeneid because Aeneas is such a unrespectable character the whole time. I really wanted Turnus to win in the end to be honest.
I actually went to library when I was in elementary school and exhausted my choices from the list I was given so I wanting a big challenging book. I picked pride and prejudice. The librarian tried so so hard to tell me that I won't like it and I should pick out another. But all I'm thinking is who is this old woman telling me what I'll like or not like, how dare she. I'll show her. I convinced her to let me check it out and read it. I was ridiculously bored the entire time and did my best to speed read it. You know that reading where if you catch yourself doing it you have to reread the page because you realize you didn't grasp any of it? Well, basically I have absolutely no idea what it's about today, given it was also 14 years ago, and I just wanted 3-4 days of my time when I could be doing kid shit like throwing mud at walls and making it stick. I regret not taking that old ladies advice, and I still wouldn't admit that if I saw her cause I'm still hard headed as ever, maybe worse now.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on January 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, how I know that feeling... When I was 14, I decided I would read Anna Karenina. I know 14 isn't really that young and that I was probably old enough to enjoy it and comprehend it in depth, but I basically forced myself to finish it. I'm rereading it now and there was so much I missed, so much to learn from it that I completely missed. What a waste.
I was expecting "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta" at the end
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:30:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Expected racism, was pleasantly surprised.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They will fuck you up with that purse.
A mentally ill gunman took the school board hostage in my hometown a few years ago. One of the board members, a little old lady, snuck up behind him and tried to beat him with her purse. It happens a little after the minute mark.
It didn't work, but it was still bad ass of her trying.
The whole thing was really interesting to watch
The the superintendent tried to defuse the situation, then get him to release all the other hostages and just keep him, he instead fires on the superintendent (the bullet luckily hits the desk and just barely misses him), and the guy in charge of setting up school security for the district was a retired police officer. He ran to his car, got his gun, and shot the gunman before he could kill anyone. The gunman went down and blew his brains out before the actual cops got there
The truth is they're actually only in their late twenties. The stress of fighting oppression and coming up with witty comebacks has aged them beyond their years.
Because old women were once young women who had to deal with the same shit...now that they're old, they DNGAF. Bless old women.
xtr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:12 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True.
Source: Middle aged lady already plotting all the shit she's gonna get away with when she's a sweet little old lady.
cianmc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:06 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old Lady: fuck this gay ass nigger, 420 blaze it faggot
[deleted] ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I have left reddit due to my disagreement with the direction the website has taken in the last years.
The situation has gotten increasingly worse. I would like to thank /r/soccernerd, /r/reddevils and /r/rickygervais for the countless hours of education, discussion and entertainment I got from you.
As an act of protest, I have chosen to redact all the comments I've ever made on reddit, overwriting them with this message.
Finally, click on your username at the top right corner of reddit, click on comments, and click on the new OVERWRITE button at the top of the page. You may need to scroll down to multiple comment pages if you have commented a lot.
(sarcasm) But, his ass is covered in impenetrable scales. It's right under his left breast that is the weak spot. You uncultured neanderthal! (/sarcasm)
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:54:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/s is good enough. /s
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:38:28 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
<html>
<body>
<sarcasm> nah man, you have to do it like this </sarcasm>
</body>
</html>
There was a guy in the gym today reading his bible out loud and walking around waving his free arm. He sort of yelled at the end before he lifted. He was just an average size guy. I wanted a picture badly, but that's creepy IMO.
Of course they read stuff in bus and subway. But nobody would start saying shit like that old man said.
Whoever pathetic fuck made this story up just wanted everyone to know that she reads some classic books and is not like every other female (every other female ever)
xtr0n ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:57 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try asking women who've lived in a decent sized city if creepy old men say ridiculous shit like that. You'd be surprised at how stupid and gross some of the comments can get. As someone who lived it from ages 12 through about 28, this story seems very plausible.
I guess the old man coming up with Jane Eyre is unlikely, but educated people can become gross alcoholics too.
She'd have to be fairly young. Engaging that much is an amateur move. Clearly she needs to work on her resting bitch face.
Also, isn't Pride & Prejudice one of the most popular novels ever? It seems like a pretty light read, even for a highschooler. If you're gonna do an intellectual humblebrag, name drop Dostoevsky or something.
"Oh my god, wouldn't it be such an odd conversation if this man next to me was a social conservative and thought I was reading a cheap trashy romance novel? Yeah, that'd be really interesting. I bet it would go something like..."
[deleted] ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:57:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh my god I am reading Pride & Prejudice on this bus and everyone must be thinking how smart and cool I am. I'm not like other kids my age who only read smut. I wish someone would acknowledge and validate my reading choices!"
She is, its a terrible curse, actually. The poor girl is in the last year of her post-grad education right now, sitting in a dimly lit apartment.
She's got a file open on her computer labeled "My Thesis". The first 10 pages or so are solid, they establish the core foundation of what she aims to prove through her research into old men who don't read good. But on page eleven all that's written is "fuck yeah! you go granny!". Just that and empty white space beneath it. That is, until you get to page twelve, where it suddenly transforms into a nightmare from the pages of The Shining. fuck yeah! you go granny! fuck yeah! you go granny! over and over and over again, occasional typos hinting that this isn't just an easy sequence of repeated copy and pastes...each line has been meticulously typed out by her worn and calloused fingers. And it goes on. For 186 pages, nothing but fuck yeah! you go granny!
She sits in her desk chair, cheeks stained with mascara and tears as her fingers finally give way to cramps and carpal tunnel. the cursor blinks after an unfinished line of "fuck yeah! yo" She stares at that blinking cursor for hours until suddenly someone knocks on her door.
With excruciating pain coursing through her wrists, she rises from her desk and walks slowly, steadily to her front door and answers the incessent knocking. Before her stands a horde of naked old men, holding up burning pages of Jane Austen's works, dancing and laughing in their pagan ritual. She opens her mouth to scream, but all that comes out is: fuck yeah! you go granny!
Whoa look at this highly intelligent intellectual. Doing his 10th grade required reading. I bet he also partakes in intellectually stimulating activities such as viewing The History Channel. Ah, yes. Ancient Aliens, and Pawn Stars. Glad there's a channel on TV were the geniuses like him can enjoy actual substantial programs. Not like the brain rotting mush the rest of us simpletons watch. You know, like The 50 Shades of Gray channel. We can't even be bothered to read our smut anymore. We just watch it on a 24 hour loop on TV.
All the people in posts like these seem to think that just by physically being able to read books they're somehow smart as fuck. It doesn't seem to matter whether they were even able to take anything away from the experience, just the fact that it says "Pride and Prejudice" on the front means they're better than everyone else.
twats
Aaron_tu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:25:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
twats
*stupid teenagers who think they know stuff!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:04:37 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't sure whether to believe this at first, luckily the old lady coming out of nowhere to back up our hero and put the jerk in his place convinced me of the verisimilitude of this story.
Why is it always an old lady who speaks on behalf of a poor, oppressed tumblrina in these absolutely true stories? Not that it's possible to be any more true, but does it make it moreso if "le voice of reason" is an old woman?
I agreed with the author's statements until I read this
Yeah, because black men never โsnatch upโ white womenโs bags, right? I guess sheโs technically correct. A black man wouldnโt do this to get a seat on a train; heโd do it because many black men feel โentitledโ to other peopleโs stuff.
I agree on the site, it was the first link to that story that popped up so I rolled with it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:07:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are mass killings, political unrest, terrorism, dictatorships, crumbling economies, radical radical Islamic groups are beheading journalists and yet some lady making a big deal out of having her bag being moved on an empty train is top news. She's the real asshole here, who doesn't move their bag on a busy train? Isn't that exactly what Move The Fuck Over, Bro is about? What fucking hypocrisy.
Well judging by that article, this woman has a comfortable life. If you have a comfortable life no one is gonna sympathize with you over meaningless first world problems. So you go out of your way to find something more horrific in the mundane everyday stuff that you go throw. Thus is tumblr born!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
izanez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen any of her thoughts in a while. I hope she's ok...
DawgBro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:12 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know... It is possible to have read Jane Eyre, Jane Austin and Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm a 23 year old dude and I've read all those. You can be an avid reader and not be such a dick about it.
A month ago I was reading 'A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court' while flying to Tennessee and for a brief moment thought that I would love for somebody to ask me about what I was reading because I was thoroughly enjoying it and wanted to share. Then I remembered nobody around me was going to care.
lol it's so funny because at the end it was an old lady that said the cuss word! you wouldn't think that would come out of her mouth because she so old and innocent!
What is it with all these swearing old ladies in these stories?
heyyoman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:16 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know it's an actual conversation when someone starts a sentence with the words "you see" because that's a super common thing thing to say in real life.
This post reminds me of everyone's MySpace profile in high school. Everyone was really into reading classic literature and the Bible and had extremely diverse tastes in music.
I'm sorry, i've ridden the bus! None of this ever fucking happenes lol there's no reading, just pissed off people, and homeless men offering up history lessons.....and coughing on you.
Depends on where you live. I live in Ottawa, and there's PLENTY of reading on busses.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:39 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst that's happened to me on a bus was a lady sitting in front of me shitting herself. I thought to myself "fuck yeah! you go granny!" But really I got off at the next stop.
These people want someone to try to oppress them badly.
MattLib ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:39 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just like this when I started reading as a teenager. I was so fucking proud of myself. I thought I was like the only teenager to read... I was a fucking idiot.
izanez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:48:10 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding me? Jane Austen is one of my favorite characters. I should know because I've been teaching Comparative English Literature at Yale for 20 years.
People tend to assume you're reading smut if you're masturbating in public with a book in your hand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've read every book written by Dorian Gray! The one about his hunting expeditions was my favorite followed by his documentary on the history of 'tea time'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did not happen, only happened in OP's daydream after the ride home.
Oh come on, OP. Please refrain from posting such OBVIOUS fake stories on here. Just read the title of the subreddit.
You can tell this is a story that never happened because Albert Einstein didn't show up to LITERALLY clap with the entire bus and give the poor girl $100.
I don't know how they have time to read when they're busy imagining strangers accosting them so much.
thedoze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:33 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pffft women! think they can tell a man what's what. can we get a petition going to change the names of the author and character? teach them a thing or two....
/s if you couldnt guess.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:46 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sir sir sir
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When somebody talks to you on the bus, and you do not know that person, say nothing back to them. They might mutter stuff, but they will hopefully move after the next stop (providing that nobody else gets on).
I swear $100% I would straight up knock the fuck out of that fucking granny who always jumps in at the end of every conversation to say some witty bullshit that only happens in fucking Nickelodeon and Disney movies.
Someone once tried to hit on/pick me up while I was reading on the bus. Asked if I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Nope - I was reading The Picture of Dorian Gray. He tried getting my name, my number, where I was going, completely stopping me from even reading; until, this one fellow spoke up loudly, saying, "man, I'm pretty positive she's not interested. Just leave her alone."
Yes, this sub is sarcastic, they make fun of shit people make up by acting like its true, however I am about to unsub cus people are annoying as fuck and dicks when people like you try to ask shit that needs answers.
SycoJack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:31 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, this sub is where we share this amazing, and completely true stories. Everything posted here Actually Happenedโข.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:22 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES. EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS ALWAYS 100% TRUE. I believe this guy, but I guarantee that not everything on this sub actually happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Wynner3 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:26 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While playing Saints Row IV, the alien enemy, Zinyac reads the first chapter, I think, of Pride and Prejudice. I stopped playing and just listened. I loved it and want to hear more.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Saved comment
Frehley_Fan ยท 1517 points ยท Posted at 16:16:54 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man: "What's that?"
OP: "Jane Austen?"
Man: "I think you mean Steve Austin. The Six Million Dollar Man. Bionic guy."
OP: "Steve Austin was a wrestler, not bionic."
Man: "Stupid teenagers who think they know stuff."
walks to the rear of the bus while cropdusting by her face
VadersVariousCapes ยท 687 points ยท Posted at 16:53:02 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old lady: CAN I GET A HELL YEA!?!?!
JuggernautClass ยท 385 points ยท Posted at 17:35:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old man: I'm not familiar with today's lingo, but I believe you just got REKT, young man.
Jerbsybear ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 20:20:27 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another old lady: Dank memes, brah.
FlamingTaco7101 ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Zack and Jenny walk by
I AM MR X
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
joffreyisjesus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:53:30 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. It's real. It happened. It happened so much that no one even needed to submit it here.
TheDerpRedditor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:11:14 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanna see austin and this old man give me a $100%
tajjet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:23 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old man: I fuck girls.
Super_Vegeta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:25:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What?
mrdm242 ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:21:46 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Granny flips him off, gives him a stunner, busts open a couple of Steveweisers and proceeds to smash them together and guzzle them.
Sempais_nutrients ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:23:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Disturbed reverberates throughout the city as granny mounts the bus, steveweisers held high.
DeVitoMcCool ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:26:51 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then the old man says...
Euphorium ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:57:10 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Civilized young non-smut reader: BAI GAWD
Canadia86 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:20:44 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old man doesn't even sell, the fucking jabroni.
shoe2020 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of all the things I learned and experienced in my early 20s, the concept of the Steveweiser is one of the few that continues to shape and guide me.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 18:54:06 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old lady is gonna stomp a mudhole and walk it dry.
NoceboHadal ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:58:08 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh-Bah-God king! That man had a family! Ring the damn bell!
Sempais_nutrients ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:24:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
PULL THE DAMN CORD, KING! THIS IS HIS STOP, HE HAS THINGS TO DO TODAY!
one-eleven ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:11:07 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
tikkstr ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:15:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it always an old lady ;__; can't old people get the rest they need and not be making witty finishers in tumblr stories.
Euphorium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YOU GO GRANNY
Ironically, she was infertile.
hephaestusroman ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:29:23 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the name of that old lady? Alberta Einstein.
041744 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:35:29 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Alberta Canada
Baba_OReilly ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:14:39 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing but smut there.
Long_dan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:29 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hello? ...We're here at home. Who is calling please?
No answer...
Must be those dumfux at reddit again.. <hangs up>
DennisReynoldsAMA ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:29:17 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Another old lady: GIMME A HELL YEAH IF U WANNA SEE ME GIVE THIS SUM BITCH A STONE COLD STUNNER!
EyeBrowseSickStuff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:32:08 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:12:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:43 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can i get a hot tub!?
GlassArrow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:18 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stone Cold E.T. want's a couple a cheese bargers and THAT'S THE BOTTOM LINE!
[deleted] ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 16:53:49 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
random man on bus gives him a stunner, then the Rock comes out calls him a jabroni and the whole bus stands up and applauds. The Rock then gave me $100 to buy more books.
[deleted] ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:42:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Rock polished up that $100% reeeal nice, turned that sumbitch sideways, and shoved it STRAIGHT UP MY CANDY ASS!
And let's just say I'm no longer a vigin ;)
Ressotami ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:55:11 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Man: "What's that?"
OP: "Jane Austen?"
Man: "I think you mean Austin Powers. The International man of mystery. Men want to be him and Women want to be with him.."
OP: "Austin Powers is a fictional 60's character, not a celebrated author "
Man: "Stupid teenagers who think they know stuff."
.* Thinking : You go! Loved him in spywho... *
ExecBeesa ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:36:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Meanwhile, girl continues to read Jane Austen, but puts the book down and decides to play Candy Crush instead after Mr. Darcy gets an RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!
Malarazz ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 16:39:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/aoBFgsL.gif
Chuck_Morris_SE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:52:37 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A bit like this?
xtotalfuryx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:25:51 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you can say he left her...
...STONE COLD STUNNED!
NoceboHadal ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:08:05 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*THE SOUND OF BRAKING GLASS* danag-danag-danag-waaa! danag-danag-danag- danag-danag-Naa naa!
Seriously, how cool was Steve Austins entrance theme
Lanuria ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, it's middle school all over!
JosephND ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:53 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, sir. ... Sir.
Steve Austin was a wrestler, sir.
Damadawf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:49 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
His reaction when she kept talking back to him:
BigDickDaddyatGmail ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
6 million? He's got nothing on Vash the Stampede
joshshat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:46 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Shots fired.
TurkCLE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:38:22 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Correction: Steve Austin was the Bionic Redneck.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:35 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sir! I must say: after observing your behaviour I must conclude that you, sir, are an uncivilised cunt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:07 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I think he meant Austin Powers
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:24 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is crop dusting?
yepitootloud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:52 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cropdusting is when you walk by someone whos sitting down and you let a silent but deadly fart slip out right next to their face when you walk by
mentholbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
man~'' whats is it'
me: it a book
man- i think i know what a book is ,thats a word menu
me "no its the book fahrneheit 451, a real classic"'
man - stupid teen turd think you know stuff, fahrneheit is a temperature not a story !!
old lady-- " shut up you fools"
ThomB96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:14 on February 5, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Then Granny Stone Cold Stunners him.
thefreepie ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 16:46:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
I like the way her attempt to show how clever she is is to show knowledge of english literature that every 10th grader possesses
[deleted] ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 22:09:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Required reading for English class? Fucking classy genius right here.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:51:41 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:27:22 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The Aeneid is fucking dope, I tell you what.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:46:37 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I sell wooden horses and wooden horse accessories."
DFreiberg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:55:50 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Madame Bovary, on the other hand...
limb0starman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:28 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was never a fan of the Aeneid because Aeneas is such a unrespectable character the whole time. I really wanted Turnus to win in the end to be honest.
whitestguyuknow ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:53:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I actually went to library when I was in elementary school and exhausted my choices from the list I was given so I wanting a big challenging book. I picked pride and prejudice. The librarian tried so so hard to tell me that I won't like it and I should pick out another. But all I'm thinking is who is this old woman telling me what I'll like or not like, how dare she. I'll show her. I convinced her to let me check it out and read it. I was ridiculously bored the entire time and did my best to speed read it. You know that reading where if you catch yourself doing it you have to reread the page because you realize you didn't grasp any of it? Well, basically I have absolutely no idea what it's about today, given it was also 14 years ago, and I just wanted 3-4 days of my time when I could be doing kid shit like throwing mud at walls and making it stick. I regret not taking that old ladies advice, and I still wouldn't admit that if I saw her cause I'm still hard headed as ever, maybe worse now.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:50:52 on January 31, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
God, how I know that feeling... When I was 14, I decided I would read Anna Karenina. I know 14 isn't really that young and that I was probably old enough to enjoy it and comprehend it in depth, but I basically forced myself to finish it. I'm rereading it now and there was so much I missed, so much to learn from it that I completely missed. What a waste.
BrobdingnagianBooty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:08 on February 15, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Mm.. I'd say 14 is pretty young
Soulwound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:28 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really good novel, though. I think I got the ebook version of it cheap or free. No regrets.
LordThaddeus ยท 350 points ยท Posted at 15:36:53 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
How come it's always the old ladies
tilapiadated ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 18:47:29 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Same appeal as having Betty White type characters in movies have unexpectedly foul mouths. The contrast! The contrast!
Gets old.
insertpithywiticism ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:09:56 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Betty White never gets old. The woman is immortal.
theonly_brunswick ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:18:55 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lake Placid is on TV and Betty White was literally just on screen as I read this comment.
[deleted] ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 15:53:20 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hired_goon ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:34:14 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm no expert in the affairs of the elderly, but I think it might be because they have used their lifetime allotment of fucks to give.
RicDan ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 15:54:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old ladies are thugs
Desiccant ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:23:51 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They are animals
Kar98 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:32:27 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Came for monty python sketch. Was disappointed
HaveADream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:39:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, story?
RicDan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:35 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This article was posted on this reddit submission of the video.
angry_dave ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:16:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Guys are trying to break into a Rolex store, old lady starts swinging her purse at them and chases them off. Did you even watch the video?
Manning119 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:59:07 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta" at the end
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:30:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Expected racism, was pleasantly surprised.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
They will fuck you up with that purse.
A mentally ill gunman took the school board hostage in my hometown a few years ago. One of the board members, a little old lady, snuck up behind him and tried to beat him with her purse. It happens a little after the minute mark.
It didn't work, but it was still bad ass of her trying.
The whole thing was really interesting to watch
The the superintendent tried to defuse the situation, then get him to release all the other hostages and just keep him, he instead fires on the superintendent (the bullet luckily hits the desk and just barely misses him), and the guy in charge of setting up school security for the district was a retired police officer. He ran to his car, got his gun, and shot the gunman before he could kill anyone. The gunman went down and blew his brains out before the actual cops got there
mikecarroll360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:14 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hells Grannies
isaiditwasntimportan ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:05:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The truth is they're actually only in their late twenties. The stress of fighting oppression and coming up with witty comebacks has aged them beyond their years.
tempusedax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Stories about badass old ladies pull the most karma. It's what the people want. What they demand.
soingee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old ladies and homeless men.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:39 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old lady validation is highest validation.
FenrisPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:19 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are always riding trains and buses, ready to give anyone their comeuppance.
dejenerate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:09 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Because old women were once young women who had to deal with the same shit...now that they're old, they DNGAF. Bless old women.
xtr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:12 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
True.
Source: Middle aged lady already plotting all the shit she's gonna get away with when she's a sweet little old lady.
cianmc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:06 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old Lady: fuck this gay ass nigger, 420 blaze it faggot
[deleted] ยท 476 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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hired_goon ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 21:35:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was not prepared for that twist at the end.
DennisReynoldsAMA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:35 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He gave it the old shamalamadingdong twist.
Qklese ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 21:44:32 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What a twist!
bladebreakers ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:54 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This was the best thing I've ever read, my good sir.
Truest story ever told.
Malarazz ยท 717 points ยท Posted at 16:35:13 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really have to clarify you're reading a book peacefully?
I mean, how does one read a book violently?
Klove128 ยท 766 points ยท Posted at 16:50:12 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
By screaming "HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING!"
Jrex13 ยท 647 points ยท Posted at 17:06:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"DON'T GO IN THERE! DO NO GO IN THERE!!"
turns page
"OOOHH SHIT WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?!?!"
tekende ยท 248 points ยท Posted at 18:42:00 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
BITCH GET OUT THE ROOM! BITCH GET OUT THE ROOM!
meow_mix8 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 20:24:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
MOVE bitch, git out the room, git out the room!!
kidzior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:29 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It was Ludacris!
ludabot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You pricks is all talk, and it's bad for ya health
Electric_Guitar ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:17:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Paula said you can't be watching that stuff at work
stb91 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:37:44 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SHIT, AUSTEN!"
Rips the book apart and throws it out the bus window.
one-eleven ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:12:03 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Scream 2: The Official Movie Novelization.
The-BLush-Man ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 19:10:09 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
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brutinator ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 19:18:27 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
durhal ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: they don't.
[deleted] ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 20:08:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You guys just had to get racist at this. You just couldn't leave well enough alone.
angry_dave ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:15:02 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't read books, Greg. Can you milk me?
qwerto14 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:07:22 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's only a plot twist if it's unexpected. A black person reading would be the real plot twist.
dvidsilva ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 23:22:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/r/blackreaders
voidFunction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:27 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Do not go into a crane shot right now, man!
thehaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:09 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
So how long before this becomes a youtube channel.
IAmNotHariSeldon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:18:45 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Librarians are so racist.
Kryptospuridium137 ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 17:05:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"AND THEN HARRY SAT DOWN IN THE POOPER AND..."
Old Library Lady: ...
Me: ...
Me: ...I FUCK BOOKS...
Old Library Lady: Sir, you're an uncivilised asshole.
damnBcanilive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:18:11 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's what my friend's mom did after Dumbledore died.
alperpier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:11 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually how I read A Song of Ice and Fire.
Mnbvcxzaqaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:00 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That's the only way I could read ASOIAF
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 17:02:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Harry didya put ya name in the goblet of fiyah???!?!?!?!?!?
HeilKaiba ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YER A WIZARD HARRY!
ExecBeesa ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 17:39:40 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"I could not, would not, on a fucking boat.
I will not, will not, with a goddamn goat.
I will not eat that shit in the rain.
I will not eat that shit on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Let me fucking be!
I don't like that shit in a box.
I don't like that shit with some shitlord fox.
I will not eat it in a stupid fucking house.
I do not like them with a dumbass mouse.
I do not like them here or there.
I don't like them fucking anywhere!
I do not like green eggs and ham! Get off my fucking back, Sam-I-Am!"
Destroyer333 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:22:12 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go.
Mr_Wolfdog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:54:35 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Green Eggs and Ham: The Movie
Directed by Quentin Tarantino; starring Samuel L. Jackson (pretty much a given cuz Tarantino).
TVUpbm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:49 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Green Eggs and Jam
Vaux1916 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:38:20 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OH NO YOU DIDN'T SMAUG, YOU FIRE-BREATHING MOTHERFUCKER! SOMEBODY POP AN ARROW IN THIS BITCH'S SCALY ASS!
thatthatguy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:32:45 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
(sarcasm) But, his ass is covered in impenetrable scales. It's right under his left breast that is the weak spot. You uncultured neanderthal! (/sarcasm)
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:54:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
/s is good enough. /s
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:38:28 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
ToTheNintieth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:18:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"EAT A FUCKING DICK, GEORGE MARTIN"
vechmaster ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:20:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You use a gun to shoot off the pages when you are done with them, and every chapter you turn and casually shiv the person next to you.
Coverofnewsletter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:14 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy in the gym today reading his bible out loud and walking around waving his free arm. He sort of yelled at the end before he lifted. He was just an average size guy. I wanted a picture badly, but that's creepy IMO.
Maybe it's not violent, but it's not peaceful.
WeAimToMisbehave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:41 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You've never read A Storm of Swords.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:56 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I have torn books in half and have, on occasion, thrown books across the room.
I may have anger issues.
LukeTheFisher ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 16:36:33 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in that special kind of rage where I want nothing more than to downvote this post but I know that would just be silly.
burntornge ยท 201 points ยท Posted at 17:36:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I get that feeling from an /r/thathappened post, I know an upvote is warranted.
TotallyNotCool ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:40:34 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree
The more you would downvote this on any other sub, the more an up vote on here is warranted!
1993teemu ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:23:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. Who makes this shit up and why?
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 18:31:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YouBigDingus ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:25:46 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
College students can be just as bad, too.
Szarak199 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:03:53 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
some of them are still teenagers dont h8 m8
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:55:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
molsonbeagle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:00:22 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
He's looking for /r/thatdidnthappen . it's over there.
xtr0n ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is everyone so convinced that this is made up? This totally rung true for me.
If you live in a city with prep schools and magnet schools, you'll see kids reading on the bus & subway.
And creepy old dudes say weird assed shit to teenage girls on public transportation.
Source: Was once a nerdy teenage girl on public transportation
1993teemu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:40 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they read stuff in bus and subway. But nobody would start saying shit like that old man said.
Whoever pathetic fuck made this story up just wanted everyone to know that she reads some classic books and is not like every other female (every other female ever)
xtr0n ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:57 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Try asking women who've lived in a decent sized city if creepy old men say ridiculous shit like that. You'd be surprised at how stupid and gross some of the comments can get. As someone who lived it from ages 12 through about 28, this story seems very plausible.
I guess the old man coming up with Jane Eyre is unlikely, but educated people can become gross alcoholics too.
She'd have to be fairly young. Engaging that much is an amateur move. Clearly she needs to work on her resting bitch face.
Also, isn't Pride & Prejudice one of the most popular novels ever? It seems like a pretty light read, even for a highschooler. If you're gonna do an intellectual humblebrag, name drop Dostoevsky or something.
ExecBeesa ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:34:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my god, wouldn't it be such an odd conversation if this man next to me was a social conservative and thought I was reading a cheap trashy romance novel? Yeah, that'd be really interesting. I bet it would go something like..."
[deleted] ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:57:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"oh my god I am reading Pride & Prejudice on this bus and everyone must be thinking how smart and cool I am. I'm not like other kids my age who only read smut. I wish someone would acknowledge and validate my reading choices!"
contrasupra ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 19:14:28 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"please notice me"
Eastview10 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 17:34:21 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to say this was fake until I read at the top it was an actual conversation on the bus
SSHeretic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:41:05 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
at the bus.
SpaceCat87 ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 17:09:23 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there always a man who is out to destroy teen girls and a super hero old lady who is around to encourage the teen?
Am I taking the wrong buses?
camelCaseCondition ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:21:51 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Probably; they never get to your bus stop because after displays like these, the bus driver literally can't even, and quits his job to browse tumblr.
allthewrongpalaces__ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:43:16 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly. Which one are you?
EvilSpunge23 ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 16:44:32 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some say she's still thinking "fuck yeah! you go granny!" to this day.
iprobably8it ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 18:41:43 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She is, its a terrible curse, actually. The poor girl is in the last year of her post-grad education right now, sitting in a dimly lit apartment.
She's got a file open on her computer labeled "My Thesis". The first 10 pages or so are solid, they establish the core foundation of what she aims to prove through her research into old men who don't read good. But on page eleven all that's written is "fuck yeah! you go granny!". Just that and empty white space beneath it. That is, until you get to page twelve, where it suddenly transforms into a nightmare from the pages of The Shining. fuck yeah! you go granny! fuck yeah! you go granny! over and over and over again, occasional typos hinting that this isn't just an easy sequence of repeated copy and pastes...each line has been meticulously typed out by her worn and calloused fingers. And it goes on. For 186 pages, nothing but fuck yeah! you go granny!
She sits in her desk chair, cheeks stained with mascara and tears as her fingers finally give way to cramps and carpal tunnel. the cursor blinks after an unfinished line of "fuck yeah! yo" She stares at that blinking cursor for hours until suddenly someone knocks on her door.
With excruciating pain coursing through her wrists, she rises from her desk and walks slowly, steadily to her front door and answers the incessent knocking. Before her stands a horde of naked old men, holding up burning pages of Jane Austen's works, dancing and laughing in their pagan ritual. She opens her mouth to scream, but all that comes out is: fuck yeah! you go granny!
Jonanarchy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:52:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I hope someone gives you gold. Or at least a Pulitzer
iprobably8it ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:24:14 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I just hope I make a few people laugh today :)
Brosama220 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:30:20 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You did. That ending was perfect.
TestosteroneTank ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah! You go /u/iprobably8it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:34 on July 5, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
ha
Phantine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:29 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And the name of those naked old men?
iprobably8it ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:16 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Lembert Parstein
cianmc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:00:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Some say if you keep an eye out, you can still see granny going
invisiclick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:41 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All we know is...
She's called
The StigAlbert EinsteinKjell_Aronsen ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 17:39:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell that this happened, because that is how people actually speak in real life.
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 16:28:53 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why was the part with the applause and high-fives left out?
Kookanoodles ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:03:33 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Also no $100 bills changed hands. This story is clearly fake.
chriscoda ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:23:32 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't need applause or $100% if there is an old lady who says something sassy that vindicates the narrator. Do you even tropes, bro?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:20 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know where you are reading this, but over here we are like nasa mission control.
IKilledYourBabyToday ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 16:57:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Whoa look at this highly intelligent intellectual. Doing his 10th grade required reading. I bet he also partakes in intellectually stimulating activities such as viewing The History Channel. Ah, yes. Ancient Aliens, and Pawn Stars. Glad there's a channel on TV were the geniuses like him can enjoy actual substantial programs. Not like the brain rotting mush the rest of us simpletons watch. You know, like The 50 Shades of Gray channel. We can't even be bothered to read our smut anymore. We just watch it on a 24 hour loop on TV.
chris_c_MC ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
All the people in posts like these seem to think that just by physically being able to read books they're somehow smart as fuck. It doesn't seem to matter whether they were even able to take anything away from the experience, just the fact that it says "Pride and Prejudice" on the front means they're better than everyone else.
twats
Aaron_tu ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:25:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
*stupid teenagers who think they know stuff!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:03:19 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:04:37 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BangYourHead ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:15:03 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Unrelated, but is your name a reference to the Misfits song, or are you just a crazy person who kills babies?
IKilledYourBabyToday ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:19:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The first one.
Give me your baby, I'll prove it by not killing it. Hand it over.
zxain ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:20:52 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'd trust this man. I say do it.
cat_handcuffs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:02:59 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I just met you,
And this is crazy...
IKilledYourBabyToday ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:37:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But here's my baby. Please kill it for me.
BangYourHead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:29:25 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man, Misfits fans aren't always the safest people to give your baby to
chriscoda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:21:52 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me, sir, don't be rude. I happen to know /u/IKilledYourBabyToday reads Jane Eyre in his free time.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:24:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SIRRR
AccessTheMainframe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:41 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
put that goddamn cigarette out okay.
DukeOfLowerChelsea ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:53:30 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't sure whether to believe this at first, luckily the old lady coming out of nowhere to back up our hero and put the jerk in his place convinced me of the verisimilitude of this story.
someToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
โWhere the hell did you come from, lady?โ
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:04:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Niklink ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 17:03:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to give this a shot:
NinjaDiscoJesus ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:01:14 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
nothing worse than people who fetishize reading
NSFWIssue ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:30:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can there be a YouTube channel devoted to acting these out?
GorgeousSteve ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:48:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A long time ago someone did a few dramatic readings here and they were great. Someone should pick that back up
LittleVeggie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:28:21 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it always an old lady who speaks on behalf of a poor, oppressed tumblrina in these absolutely true stories? Not that it's possible to be any more true, but does it make it moreso if "le voice of reason" is an old woman?
WhatTheGentlyCaress ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
'cos us old guys just don't give a shit about anyone else anymore. We're too busy trying not to piss ourselves in public again.
big_shmegma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
fallin all over ourselves, shitting our pants again.
ReactsWithWords ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 16:44:54 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, come on! Everyone knows Pride and Prejudice was written by Alberta Einstein.
CuteShibe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:44:41 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, her name is at the cover. You can't find any excuses for not knowing that.
someToast ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/L4yFwis.jpg
GalaxyClaw ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:40:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Beats headphones on
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:58:37 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ionised ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:32:28 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not $100% sure I did, either....
mattlohkamp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:49:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't make it past the third quote. That fucking lady.
wolfram184 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:38 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And in the midst of the who "manspreading" outrage.
_Zurkive_ ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:00:08 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed with the author's statements until I read this
contrasupra ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:16:25 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that made me feel really gross.
ETA and this comment, holy shit:
::shudder::
yitzaklr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:49:56 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That slow realization of "...is this site racist?"
akaast ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:39 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That website.. ew. Ew-ew-ew-ew.
Jest0riz0r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:42:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously .. MUH FREEDOMS edit: holy shit the comments
GalaxyClaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:20:56 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I agree on the site, it was the first link to that story that popped up so I rolled with it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:07:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There are mass killings, political unrest, terrorism, dictatorships, crumbling economies, radical radical Islamic groups are beheading journalists and yet some lady making a big deal out of having her bag being moved on an empty train is top news. She's the real asshole here, who doesn't move their bag on a busy train? Isn't that exactly what Move The Fuck Over, Bro is about? What fucking hypocrisy.
Sparky-Sparky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:55:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Well judging by that article, this woman has a comfortable life. If you have a comfortable life no one is gonna sympathize with you over meaningless first world problems. So you go out of your way to find something more horrific in the mundane everyday stuff that you go throw. Thus is tumblr born!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck.
jellyfishing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:35:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
But pride and prejudice is the fifty shades of gray of it's era. It's one of my favorite books but it's not exactly "intelligent".
ErrlyGamer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Im glad she kept thinking. I thought she died.
izanez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't seen any of her thoughts in a while. I hope she's ok...
DawgBro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:12 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know... It is possible to have read Jane Eyre, Jane Austin and Fifty Shades of Grey. I'm a 23 year old dude and I've read all those. You can be an avid reader and not be such a dick about it.
arrogant_elk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:35 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I find it really hard to not downvote this stuff..
insertpithywiticism ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:18:32 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
A month ago I was reading 'A Conneticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court' while flying to Tennessee and for a brief moment thought that I would love for somebody to ask me about what I was reading because I was thoroughly enjoying it and wanted to share. Then I remembered nobody around me was going to care.
vi_warshawski ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:55:32 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
lol it's so funny because at the end it was an old lady that said the cuss word! you wouldn't think that would come out of her mouth because she so old and innocent!
whitestguyuknow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:55:25 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
None of that sounds like how people talk normally at all. Maybe she'll become a writer so we can laugh at how unnatural and cringey it is
drpepper0000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:03:57 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
What is it with all these swearing old ladies in these stories?
heyyoman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:16 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You know it's an actual conversation when someone starts a sentence with the words "you see" because that's a super common thing thing to say in real life.
yourmindin3D ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)*
Why is there always a grandma in these stories
LarOL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:11 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
U sound like a pompous clown shoe. Just tell the person to fuck off like a man not mouse name dropping titles.
brash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:10:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR SIR
wowultimation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
faboulus
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:32 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't close the quoting marks, so she actually thought "fuck yeah you go granny!*Source : mycupofbooks 4 665 notes [...]"
2nuhmelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:16 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The last line implies she was thinking "fuck yeah! you go granny!" the whole time, even before the old lady spoke.
Which is fair, I'm always thinking that.
lost_in_thesauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:53 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This post reminds me of everyone's MySpace profile in high school. Everyone was really into reading classic literature and the Bible and had extremely diverse tastes in music.
someToast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Faves: Bieber, Bible, Brontรซ
yellowdevel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:51:51 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is it always an old lady who speaks up/reks at the end?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:45:47 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I never seen shots fired so politely before
RadleyCoopSound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:03 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, i've ridden the bus! None of this ever fucking happenes lol there's no reading, just pissed off people, and homeless men offering up history lessons.....and coughing on you.
Zigongosaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:53 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on where you live. I live in Ottawa, and there's PLENTY of reading on busses.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:39 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The worst that's happened to me on a bus was a lady sitting in front of me shitting herself. I thought to myself "fuck yeah! you go granny!" But really I got off at the next stop.
Nankoon_The_Dude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:48 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it always begin with either:
Vanryker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:23 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
To stress the innocence of said "victim"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:52 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can Confirm: Am Jane Austen Eyre Wiener
PM_ME_TANKTOPCLEVAGE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:38 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
These people want someone to try to oppress them badly.
MattLib ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:39 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I was just like this when I started reading as a teenager. I was so fucking proud of myself. I thought I was like the only teenager to read... I was a fucking idiot.
WordcloudYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:47:37 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Word cloud out of all the comments.
Don't like this? Message me!
space_cosmonaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:51 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I'm granny.
PugsHugsnDrugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:14:09 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit. No one reads Jane Eyre.
izanez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:48:10 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Are you kidding me? Jane Austen is one of my favorite characters. I should know because I've been teaching Comparative English Literature at Yale for 20 years.
CowboyColin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Favourite
FTFY
doc_birdman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:59 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's like he is humble bragging about reading a shitty book.
DuneBug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:40:29 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm, am book.
ZeroCiipheR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:17 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can also confirm. Am cup of books
b3n4president ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is really just weak, they are starting to get lazy with their work now.
waterfalls_cascade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:38 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This is awesome!
izanez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:14 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old lady then beat the guy on the bus with a fly swatter.
Justice_Prince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:07 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People tend to assume you're reading smut if you're masturbating in public with a book in your hand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I've read every book written by Dorian Gray! The one about his hunting expeditions was my favorite followed by his documentary on the history of 'tea time'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Did not happen, only happened in OP's daydream after the ride home.
Silvermane714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:56 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, OP. Please refrain from posting such OBVIOUS fake stories on here. Just read the title of the subreddit.
You can tell this is a story that never happened because Albert Einstein didn't show up to LITERALLY clap with the entire bus and give the poor girl $100.
Scottdg93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
And then the entire bus applauded.
iamsofired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:58 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The whole bus stood up and applauded
RadleyCoopSound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:20 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
OK good. I was hoping this was on /r/thathappened
TheBigShig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This shit needs to be cross posted to /r/iamverysmart
HomelessBoxBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:04 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
WHY ARE THERE ALWAYS OLD LADIES THAT REAFFIRM THE YOUNG WOMAN'S STANCE IN THESE THINGS
DeargDoom79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Old man: Listen here you chucklefuck bitch
Arbych33f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:36 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, was book.
soMbad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:30 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you were condescending as fuck when he got it wrong, u asshole!
Asis_450 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:24 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
soyabstemio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:39 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Magical granny? Sure it happened just like that.
2Siders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:25 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there a fucking old lady in every single story?
Sempais_nutrients ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:59 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how they have time to read when they're busy imagining strangers accosting them so much.
thedoze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:33 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
pffft women! think they can tell a man what's what. can we get a petition going to change the names of the author and character? teach them a thing or two....
/s if you couldnt guess.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:46 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
sir sir sir
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:19 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
When somebody talks to you on the bus, and you do not know that person, say nothing back to them. They might mutter stuff, but they will hopefully move after the next stop (providing that nobody else gets on).
CheddahBiscuits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm am book.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:25 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
As though any adult, throughout all time, has ever willingly tried to interact with a teenager. Hah.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:07 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
"sir"= cringe
OlympicTrolling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:41 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You are British.
psycho_sophisticate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:34 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there always an old lady to the rescue in these things?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:59 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
People like that have caused me to cringe at the word "actually."
Derkfare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It happened at the bus, guys.
DennisReynoldsAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:19 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I swear $100% I would straight up knock the fuck out of that fucking granny who always jumps in at the end of every conversation to say some witty bullshit that only happens in fucking Nickelodeon and Disney movies.
godsnotdeadhesalive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:27 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Kids today are disrespectful little brats. They get it from their commie union thug teachers.
Redkirth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:20 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. It the old person had thought that Jane Eyre was the author, they should have thought that the book was called Charlotte Bronte.
Creator fails at making up story. Thanks OP, for this slice of stupidity and failure.
kidzior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:13 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
slow clap while standing
I was there. I am a bus driver.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:38 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Tumblr girls are constantly looking for the satisfaction of their elders
TheresanotherJoswell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:20 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell she's reading Jane Austen because the dialogue sounds like it's from the 18th century.
RecklessLeader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:40 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
the title is at the cover!
akcaye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:47 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, were you already thinking that before she said anything?
DigitalBootay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:41 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Why is there alway a random "old lady" in these stories?
robot_salesman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:37 on January 24, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
There's always somebody old. They're either a wisecracking hero or a randomly impolite old person who hates the young folk.
Zigongosaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:34 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Someone once tried to hit on/pick me up while I was reading on the bus. Asked if I was reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Nope - I was reading The Picture of Dorian Gray. He tried getting my name, my number, where I was going, completely stopping me from even reading; until, this one fellow spoke up loudly, saying, "man, I'm pretty positive she's not interested. Just leave her alone."
flaccid_randy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:23 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Implying people actually give a shit about what you're reading
Lazerkatz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:59 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is so unrealistically polite in these bullshit interactions. I was perfect, I even said Sir!
jqt213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:15:31 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
keeps reading
broadfuckingcity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:45 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, you're an uncivilised asshole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:56 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ludabot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:19 on January 22, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
cause you weigh too dusty, and rusty, and musty
mcandhp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:30 on July 16, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
100% true, I was the chair.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Is this from an episode of South Park?
zissou99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:30 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale from happened to really happened, how much did this happen?
bumfun1 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:19:17 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
It's still happening.
CuteShibe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:07 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The sequel you've all been waiting for, written and directed by M.Night Shyamalan
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:25 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
This sub is sarcastic, right?
Random_Link_Roulette ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:47 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, people seem to forget shit..
Yes, this sub is sarcastic, they make fun of shit people make up by acting like its true, however I am about to unsub cus people are annoying as fuck and dicks when people like you try to ask shit that needs answers.
SycoJack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:31 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
No, this sub is where we share this amazing, and completely true stories. Everything posted here Actually Happenedโข.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:22 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
YES. EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET IS ALWAYS 100% TRUE. I believe this guy, but I guarantee that not everything on this sub actually happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:48 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Wynner3 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:26 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
While playing Saints Row IV, the alien enemy, Zinyac reads the first chapter, I think, of Pride and Prejudice. I stopped playing and just listened. I loved it and want to hear more.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on January 21, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
That old lady's name? Albert Einstein.
hired_goon ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:50 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to find an excuse once, it ended up being right next to my car keys.
Vanryker ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
The old guy was dad joking it, and the old lady was his accomplice.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:34 on January 20, 2015 ยท (Permalink)
...to be fair, it could be badly paraphrased...