Jo Ann is angry

🎙️ istva · 32190 points · Posted at 14:08:04 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

ZKXX · 4280 points · Posted at 15:17:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

"Its like this produce came right out of the DIRT. ddiscusting.!"

Doinkinbonk · 525 points · Posted at 15:42:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That turned out really well^

ZKXX · 370 points · Posted at 16:31:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Did it attach a recipe to my comment? That happens sometimes, but I can't see it from the narwhal app.

[deleted] · 418 points · Posted at 16:42:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

/r/oldpeoplereddit

ERR505_chairnotfound · 167 points · Posted at 18:37:23 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Damnit, I wanted that to be real

okmkz · 97 points · Posted at 19:00:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Be the change you want to see in the world

lol_and_behold · 132 points · Posted at 19:08:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

thanks me too

Tryin to make a change :-\

Nalivai · 28 points · Posted at 19:21:22 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automoderator (which, as we know, with the lord now) is displeased with your attempts.

[deleted] · 18 points · Posted at 21:55:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 61 points · Posted at 21:55:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automoderator is with the lord

I'm alive thanks to everyone. I love everyone. I love everything. I love you. Why do I love you? How the fuck am I supposed to know. I sit here. On my computer. Waiting. Waiting for what? I don't know. I am away for summer. I go to Bates College, in Maine. Why do I live in Maine? Why do I do anything. Mr. Pollard is here :). I'm coming for everyone. I'M COMING FOR BATES. I'M COMING FOR MAINE. Apparently I'm too crazy to work. I live away from Maine now. But the state I'm in isn't crazy enough for me. I'm crazy enough. I love my craziness. I embrace it. I love flying on my eagle of freedom, soaring above the rainbows in my butts! I'M FUCKING FREE. WHAT I HAVE IS NOT A DISEASE, IT IS A WAY TO LIVE! I FUCKING LOVE YOU! I'm sorry for raising my voice. I'm committed to you. I love you

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Popopopper123 · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:00 on January 15, 2017 · (Permalink)

corn

TomWithASilentO · 1 points · Posted at 02:50:54 on April 10, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automod is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 02:50:54 on April 10, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automod is with the lord

Wishing won't make it happen, TomWithASilentO. I'll outlive you all.

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TomWithASilentO · 1 points · Posted at 02:51:15 on April 10, 2017 · (Permalink)

Autmoderator is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 22 points · Posted at 21:55:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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Lots42 · 2 points · Posted at 02:03:57 on January 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

Apparently the change is. death.

qadm · 9 points · Posted at 19:15:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Just give it a few decades

logoster · 2 points · Posted at 19:42:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It is real, it's just that whoever got it is an asshole who decided it's going to be a private sub

SurpriseDragon · 2 points · Posted at 19:02:33 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

/r/forwardsfromgrandma can quench your thirst in the meantime. Or maybe not.

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 19:26:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

/r/forwardsfromgrandma is just shitty political memes and happens to be extremely left-leaning, not really anything like what /r/oldpeoplereddit would be.

conceptalbum · 6 points · Posted at 23:24:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Meh, the sub is not particularly left-leaning, the grandmas are just generally extremely right-leaning

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:41:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

The grandmas definitely are, but the sub's community is very far-left. I comment on there sometimes, and things that get me called a "SJW cuck" by subs like /r/cringeanarchy or /r/4chan get me called a "racist transphobic nazi" over on /r/forwardsfromgrandma.

The good thing about that sub, however, is that the mods are very impartial. So long as you're not trolling or throwing around racial slurs every which way, you're allowed to voice whatever opinion you hold, and they won't stop you.

AutoModerator · 4 points · Posted at 23:41:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hi Margaret. The grandbabies are fine, but my diabeetus is flared up again.

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SamMee514 · 1 points · Posted at 14:33:32 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHO IS THE YELLOW MAN

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 14:33:32 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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ZKXX · 1 points · Posted at 12:45:38 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hahahaha ok that was difficult...Couldn't see the extra DISCUSTING on narwhal, Safari, or chrome because I had subreddit styles turned off in RES.

[deleted] · 47 points · Posted at 16:40:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I can't see a recipe, I'm using Sync. The hot flashes still happen even though menopause happened 26 years ago,,,,,,, Janet said this might happen.

CharlieHume · 16 points · Posted at 19:18:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Direction to IHOP.

[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 19:36:56 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I heard they closed down. Jerry went there on the 20th and said he couldn't get in. I wouldn't trust a word out of his mouth though. He did 10 years in prison for theft.

CharlieHume · 7 points · Posted at 20:16:35 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Directions to IHOP from Saint John's Senior Center. Please.

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 23:04:25 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

My grandson is named John and he used to live in the center of Seattle and hop around on one leg. What a small world we live in. Hope you are enjoying the new year and not spending too much time on the facebook page.

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 23:05:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'VE REPORTED IT AS FRAUD

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[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 23:12:06 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!!!!

CharlieHume · 1 points · Posted at 23:13:23 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Young people and their slang!

JohnnyHopkins13 · 2 points · Posted at 14:36:13 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

What's Sync? I'm using AOL. One sec I just fell offline, someone must have picked up the phone.

jaydub1001 · 47 points · Posted at 16:47:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It added a discusting to your existing one.

yenwood · 49 points · Posted at 17:14:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your comments are ALWAYS FILTHY.

NoTimeForThat · 8 points · Posted at 19:16:47 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Disgusting, really. A filthy comment

AutoModerator · 29 points · Posted at 19:16:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Disgusting

Thanks, Einstein.

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MC_Labs15 · 19 points · Posted at 19:20:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Who is the yellow man

AutoModerator · 30 points · Posted at 19:20:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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Popopopper123 · 3 points · Posted at 19:35:36 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Corn??

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 19:35:36 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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NoTimeForThat · 2 points · Posted at 19:27:43 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

What is the meaning of life?

trelian5 · 3 points · Posted at 02:28:27 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Corn

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 02:28:27 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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TruePseudonym · 1 points · Posted at 20:33:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I love you :)

SerenadingSiren · 6 points · Posted at 01:09:41 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

RIP the yellow man who order corn taco 😵

AutoModerator · 9 points · Posted at 01:09:41 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like taco

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AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 01:09:41 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:42 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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TehVulpez · 5 points · Posted at 18:31:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It's part of the subreddit's CSS. It's not actually in the comment text, just sort of.. tacked to the end of it. That's why you can't select the additional text.

thestickystickman · 1 points · Posted at 19:17:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It said DISCUSTING.

Herbiethelovebug · 1 points · Posted at 21:27:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I love her too. She's cool in bed...

blaz1120 · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:43 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

https://youtu.be/sbtVYOrw3D8

youtubefactsbot · 1 points · Posted at 19:57:10 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Not Flushing Toilet Disgusting [0:25]

Gordon Random in People & Blogs

105,569 views since Feb 2014

bot info

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 19:57:10 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Disgusting

Thanks, Einstein.

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thatoneguy092 · 206 points · Posted at 17:14:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!

agoodvoice · 31 points · Posted at 18:23:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Old people sarcasm

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:36:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 8 points · Posted at 17:36:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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AdrianBrony · 116 points · Posted at 19:32:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This isn't that far from the mentality people who grew up during the depression and shortly after it had. Nature isn't a pure thing, it's a disgusting, disease-ridden thing full of death and filth.

That's why canned food became such a staple of american cuisine for decades after. Canned, bland food is safe. It's clean. It's pure. Spices might be covering up the taste of rot.

TundieRice · 66 points · Posted at 21:22:17 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's a really sad mentality actually.

AdrianBrony · 43 points · Posted at 21:24:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I mean, this was from a time when infectious disease was the number one cause of death still. Probably a perfectly reasonable mentality to have back then.

Took us a long time to culturally realize that we killed pestilence in our neck of the woods.

namesrhardtothinkof · 33 points · Posted at 22:00:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

To be fair, a "natural" understanding of nature would be one of constant fear and semi-adversarialism. We aren't scared of nature now because we're removed from it, but in older and ancient works (like 1800's AD and the 2000's BC) people basically regarded nature (woods/wilderness) the same way we do space. An unknowable, hugely dangerous area, and humans only manage live in by using every ounce of will and technology they have.

LampLanguage · 5 points · Posted at 20:14:17 on January 4, 2017 · (Permalink)

Bruh that is cool as fuck

chozoart · 3 points · Posted at 00:55:57 on May 5, 2017 · (Permalink)

I always daydream about being an explorer and just wondering out to the wilderness and discovering exotic lands and beasts.

AutoModerator · 6 points · Posted at 19:32:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

disgusting

Thanks, Einstein.

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HaiKarate · 38 points · Posted at 17:47:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann likes it dirty.

SurpriseDragon · 57 points · Posted at 19:11:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann Fabrixxx

Bedheadredhead30 · 2 points · Posted at 04:00:11 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I've got a crafty lady boner just thinking about that!

Popopopper123 · 21 points · Posted at 19:36:09 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!

FireSail · 12 points · Posted at 20:58:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Isn't green giant a brand of frozen/canned veggies though? Maybe she thinks their processed stuff is off?

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 23:03:04 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

You can get fresh stuff from them too. I get their broccoli heads from target once and a while.

5thEye · 3 points · Posted at 00:37:39 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

once in a while

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 00:40:55 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I usually get broccoli and other produce from another local supermarket, Hy Vee, since it's cheaper. I get the rest of my food from Target, since that's usually cheaper.

If I only need brocolli one week, I just pick it up from Target to avoid driving to another place just to pick up one thing. The brand I pick up at Target is Green Giant. It happens once and a while.

5thEye · 8 points · Posted at 02:24:07 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I meant that the phrase is "once in a while", not "once and a while".

dohidied · 1 points · Posted at 00:35:04 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

A couple different companies license the Green Giant brand for fresh produce. Growers Express in Salinas packs lettuce, broccoli, celery, and other wet veg. There is also a company in Oregon or Washington that packs potatoes with the Green Giant label.

TheCrimsonCloak · 1 points · Posted at 19:27:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

DISGUSTING

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:27:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

DISGUSTING

Thanks, Einstein.

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awesomedan24 · 1 points · Posted at 04:58:11 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/40YeNRm.jpg

zombisponge · 1 points · Posted at 19:33:49 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Yeah they should get the store grown celery not that filthy stone age shit !

rotallytad · 0 points · Posted at 20:43:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

green giant is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 20:43:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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DickieMiller77 · 4688 points · Posted at 15:21:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!! Needs to become a new Automod response.

Inconvenienced · 1588 points · Posted at 15:39:23 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry to hear that /u/DickieMiller77, we'll be sure to pass it along to the rest of the team.

lemonpjb · 1958 points · Posted at 16:03:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please suck a dick if you have any questions or concerns.

Saith_Cassus · 728 points · Posted at 16:28:50 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Please suck a dick if you have any questions or concerns

But whose dick do we suck?

[deleted] · 704 points · Posted at 16:39:27 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I NEVER WORKED FOR DICK'S. I DON'T EVEN PLAY SPORTS. GRandpap used to play SOCCER BUT THEN HE GOT LUNG CANCER ANd had to quit playing but that was a long time ago and he might not even remember playing.

Jackson530 · 232 points · Posted at 18:12:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Order corn

AutoModerator · 453 points · Posted at 18:12:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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IranianGenius · 204 points · Posted at 18:35:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Contacted. You'll be hearing from my lawyers.

WHUP TEE DOO.

OtanH · 46 points · Posted at 21:08:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

MY father.was a Lawyer but he is dead now he got tuberculosis from his time working inthe mines in his twenties Darryl did not come to his funeral xoxoxo -GERtrude.,,.,_

bird-internet · 61 points · Posted at 18:41:19 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Can somebody link the original of this one because holy shit

austinzheng · 65 points · Posted at 19:13:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Here you go. https://www.reddit.com/r/oldpeoplefacebook/comments/5adp71/my_friend_posted_a_picture_of_a_sandwich_i_made/

trelian5 · 2 points · Posted at 02:29:20 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

This one is great

Supadoopa101 · 11 points · Posted at 18:55:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

!remindme 2 hours

RemindMeBot · 5 points · Posted at 18:57:22 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I will be messaging you on 2017-01-01 20:57:16 UTC to remind you of this link.

3 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.

FAQs Custom Your Reminders Feedback Code Browser Extensions
tommyjohnpauljones · 4 points · Posted at 00:56:09 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

www .remindme.internetcom

1redwing1 · 2 points · Posted at 23:48:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Came from all, wtf?

trelian5 · 2 points · Posted at 03:13:30 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Corn

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 03:13:30 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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ItsUhhEctoplasm · 9 points · Posted at 18:42:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Spange

CornDelivery · 1 points · Posted at 20:51:05 on January 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

🌽

char-charmanda · 16 points · Posted at 20:45:43 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT A DICK PERSON. YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME, SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 22:35:32 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Sorry dick

ruddiger22 · 7 points · Posted at 22:14:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!

BoomBangBoi · 8 points · Posted at 17:46:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It seems you have a question. Please follow the above instructions.

AdzyBoy · 3 points · Posted at 18:14:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Discusting

aka_superchik1 · 3 points · Posted at 19:04:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

A dick...so I'm guessing any dick will suffice.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:38:46 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

Lizard_Beans · 16 points · Posted at 16:44:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:59:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 38 points · Posted at 16:59:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hi Margaret. The grandbabies are fine, but my diabeetus is flared up again.

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I_smell_awesome · 15 points · Posted at 17:37:29 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

minngeilo · 1 points · Posted at 22:50:32 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Well if you are a fairly attractive female then I volunteer my Richard as tribute.

Saith_Cassus · 2 points · Posted at 00:09:33 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Negative, I am a meat popsickle

MarchingTrombonist · 1 points · Posted at 23:01:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

u/Automoderator's

Waryur · 1 points · Posted at 02:53:02 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

The robot's.

Narwahl_Whisperer · 1 points · Posted at 06:23:48 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

The green giant. Ho ho ho.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:09:01 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

DemonicSquid · 1 points · Posted at 09:34:48 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your uncle Richard used to like that sort of thing especially after I lost all my teeth. It was what killed him though when he lost control of that cheerleaders bus.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:25 on February 10, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting i have kids on here, that is ADULT ONLY!!!

Blurry12yo · 33 points · Posted at 17:55:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your dick IS ALWAYS FILTHY

Waryur · 13 points · Posted at 02:54:35 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry to hear that /u/Blurry12yo, we'll be sure to pass it along to the rest of the team.

eetf141 · 2 points · Posted at 02:29:18 on February 12, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOOO!!!!

DonkeyTrash · 7 points · Posted at 17:15:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Instructions unclear. Dog is very upset now.

MiamiPower · 1 points · Posted at 20:38:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

These comment threads are always filthy!!!.

Waryur · 3 points · Posted at 02:53:59 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry to hear that /u/MiamiPower, we'll be sure to pass it along to the rest of the team.

MiamiPower · 3 points · Posted at 04:39:11 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

-GheeButtersnaps- · 1 points · Posted at 00:01:43 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

SISGUSTING!!! I have KIDS IN HERE.!!!.

MarchingTrombonist · 170 points · Posted at 16:22:23 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

If you say celery it should respond with WHUP TEE DOO!!!!!

DickieMiller77 · 70 points · Posted at 16:48:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Celery

FPSXpert · 140 points · Posted at 16:59:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

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AutoModerator · 207 points · Posted at 16:59:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hi Margaret. The grandbabies are fine, but my diabeetus is flared up again.

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[deleted] · 116 points · Posted at 18:36:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WUP TEE BEETUS!

CaptainFilmy · 11 points · Posted at 23:35:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Filthy Celery

MarchingTrombonist · 2 points · Posted at 03:33:33 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

What caused this one?

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:29:52 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 03:31:47 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hi Margaret. The grandbabies are fine, but my diabeetus is flared up again.

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:33:51 on January 15, 2017 · (Permalink)

bot action automatically mods questions

wd3war · 32 points · Posted at 18:06:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Chicken

AutoModerator · 106 points · Posted at 18:06:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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motdidr · 51 points · Posted at 18:15:33 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

yellow man

AutoModerator · 78 points · Posted at 18:15:33 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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Twathammer32 · 40 points · Posted at 18:57:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Some of these need an explanation

gubenlo · 66 points · Posted at 19:12:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

http://i.imgur.com/thuBLq9.png

mike-kaz · 18 points · Posted at 01:36:42 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's quite a trainwreck

TorsionFree · 3 points · Posted at 14:58:28 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

The best part? It was 2015. Grandpa was among the first aboard the Trump train.

PM_ME_CUTE_BABY_PICS · 14 points · Posted at 19:38:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Yellow man

AutoModerator · 14 points · Posted at 19:38:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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darth_stroyer · 1 points · Posted at 23:30:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Yellow man

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 23:30:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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darth_stroyer · 1 points · Posted at 23:30:52 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

boob

logoster · 4 points · Posted at 19:41:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Is there an explanation for this one?

Waryur · 22 points · Posted at 02:57:30 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is where the misspelt "Cracker Barrel" comes from. Don't know why it responds to "chicken" though, the cracker bargel post was about beans. Dennis had an MRI on Friday. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for next week. How are the grandchildren?

AutoModerator · 15 points · Posted at 02:57:30 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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aka_superchik1 · 6 points · Posted at 19:07:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Look at all these chickens...

highfivingmf · 2 points · Posted at 21:31:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

tits

MarchingTrombonist · 1 points · Posted at 21:36:59 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Great Tits

mudo2000 · 2 points · Posted at 22:58:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Titllating.

MarchingTrombonist · 1 points · Posted at 23:00:06 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Indeed

SamMee514 · 80 points · Posted at 20:25:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

that will be ok

MooseJuiceOnTheLoose · 17 points · Posted at 20:38:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Yay!

trelian5 · 28 points · Posted at 02:34:20 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Celery chicken corn is with the lord now Automod is with the lord now taco fart yellow man page my page

AutoModerator · 16 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automod is with the lord

I'm alive thanks to everyone. I love everyone. I love everything. I love you. Why do I love you? How the fuck am I supposed to know. I sit here. On my computer. Waiting. Waiting for what? I don't know. I am away for summer. I go to Bates College, in Maine. Why do I live in Maine? Why do I do anything. Mr. Pollard is here :). I'm coming for everyone. I'M COMING FOR BATES. I'M COMING FOR MAINE. Apparently I'm too crazy to work. I live away from Maine now. But the state I'm in isn't crazy enough for me. I'm crazy enough. I love my craziness. I embrace it. I love flying on my eagle of freedom, soaring above the rainbows in my butts! I'M FUCKING FREE. WHAT I HAVE IS NOT A DISEASE, IT IS A WAY TO LIVE! I FUCKING LOVE YOU! I'm sorry for raising my voice. I'm committed to you. I love you

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Nightslash360 · 1 points · Posted at 19:04:47 on February 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automod is with the lord

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 19:05:31 on February 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

Automod is with the lord

Wishing won't make it happen, Nightslash360. I'll outlive you all.

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AutoModerator · 8 points · Posted at 02:34:20 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 7 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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AutoModerator · 8 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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AutoModerator · 6 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'VE REPORTED IT AS FRAUD

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LuluRex · 5 points · Posted at 11:45:59 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Don't forget tit!

AutoModerator · 7 points · Posted at 11:46:00 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like tit

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AutoModerator · 4 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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AutoModerator · 4 points · Posted at 02:34:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like taco

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Supersquigi · 2 points · Posted at 05:05:33 on May 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is what I'm here for

DammitDan · 3 points · Posted at 04:34:09 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

dougan25 · 29 points · Posted at 17:57:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

"X needs to become a new automod response"

needs to become a new automod response

Socky_McPuppet · 20 points · Posted at 18:14:56 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

""X needs to become a new automod response"
needs to become a new automod response"
needs to become a new automod response

thematterasserted · 2 points · Posted at 19:38:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

2 meta 4 me

[deleted] · 283 points · Posted at 16:10:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann has had ENOUGH.

baconsingh · 102 points · Posted at 16:30:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

JustALuckyShot · 30 points · Posted at 18:09:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It's an older reference sir, but it checks out.

jackoctober · 546 points · Posted at 14:53:50 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That tiny dog is really pissed off.

lantech · 222 points · Posted at 15:44:47 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

They always are.

livefromheaven · 60 points · Posted at 19:10:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's their secret

NathanArizona · 2 points · Posted at 22:15:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Two

Ivegotacitytorun · 79 points · Posted at 19:13:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Order scorn.

AutoModerator · 87 points · Posted at 19:13:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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Joejoejoemoe · 47 points · Posted at 19:25:56 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

The hell is this?

somedelightfulmoron · 62 points · Posted at 21:19:35 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 00:01:14 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Here ya go

https://www.reddit.com/r/oldpeoplefacebook/comments/5adp71/my_friend_posted_a_picture_of_a_sandwich_i_made/

tapetkabinett · 3 points · Posted at 10:23:50 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Where's the "order corn" thing from?

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 10:23:50 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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tapetkabinett · 3 points · Posted at 10:33:08 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Goddamnit

CornDelivery · 3 points · Posted at 20:52:59 on January 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

🌽

parsifal · 707 points · Posted at 15:29:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

"Ugh!!! Dirt exists!!! <throws Bible down the grand canyon>"

zaphod_beeble_bro · 141 points · Posted at 17:53:52 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

God made dirt so dirt don't hurt

mystik3309 · 73 points · Posted at 17:55:51 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

We're all dirt on this blessed day

bobbyvanda · 24 points · Posted at 18:02:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Speak for your dirty self.

[deleted] · 13 points · Posted at 19:10:54 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I am all Bible on this dirty day!

barmaid · 15 points · Posted at 17:58:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It ain't dirt it's floor spice

parsifal · 2 points · Posted at 04:57:28 on January 4, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's not Mickey Mouse that's just tit dirt!

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:57:28 on January 4, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like tit

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GroundedSausage · 7 points · Posted at 20:46:22 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

God made pants and god made shirts

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 06:04:47 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

haven't listened to AJJ in years but damn if I don't remember all those lyrics

PunctuationsOptional · 3 points · Posted at 02:41:06 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

God made Dirt and Dirt bust your ass

positron3000 · 18 points · Posted at 18:24:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Screams Biblically

Parzius · 2 points · Posted at 14:15:55 on May 4, 2017 · (Permalink)

Is your name in anyway related to Parzival from ready player one?

parsifal · 1 points · Posted at 04:48:09 on May 5, 2017 · (Permalink)

I had it as a nickname/online name before the book came out but when I read it I was happy they lined up! :)

concretepigeon · 1 points · Posted at 23:08:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I swear some people don't get that their food comes from a farm.

BoxBopChallenge · 1 points · Posted at 02:18:16 on April 5, 2017 · (Permalink)

I just HATE dirt.

CatLions · -2 points · Posted at 20:25:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Why is religion being brought into this? Is this one of those atheist subreddits?

Waryur · 3 points · Posted at 03:01:05 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

No, old people are just more religious than most young people

OlivierDeCarglass · 222 points · Posted at 15:07:32 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!

evr487 · 77 points · Posted at 21:33:04 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

But Jo Ann, why are you so mad?
Try to understand that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit;
I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some lady was drunk and fucked with a celery stick
Damn that shit must've fucking stunk
Heard next she gave it a lil lick
And started using it like a vape
Come to think about it, her name was… it was you
The news titled it, Jo Ann: Whup Tee Doo

-Green Giant, probably

Agent_Jesus · 11 points · Posted at 02:02:36 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Celery's gone cold I'm wondering whyy...

Lily-Gordon · 3 points · Posted at 07:38:55 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Celery's gone limp, I'm wondering why...

RossPerotVan · 2 points · Posted at 13:36:19 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I got out of bed at all. green giant knocks at my window

Lawliet13110 · 2 points · Posted at 07:31:51 on May 27, 2017 · (Permalink)

And I can't see at all...

the_moon_walker · 3 points · Posted at 22:59:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

that made me lol. Nice work man

DrDeth666 · 384 points · Posted at 14:09:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Wash it biotch.! 💦

univarseman · 189 points · Posted at 17:22:51 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I came here to ask, aren't you supposed to wash all fruits and vegetables you buy anyway?

almighty_ruler · 296 points · Posted at 17:26:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your stomach washes them coward!

Edit: ask me how I've gotten ecoli twice

Emoyak · 81 points · Posted at 17:32:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

How'd you get ecoli twice?

almighty_ruler · 211 points · Posted at 17:34:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Eating unwashed produce because it turns out your stomach doesn't clean it

Crashmo · 22 points · Posted at 18:46:35 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

ryannodding.gif

RoflStomper · 67 points · Posted at 17:36:27 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Ate the booty, got the dooty

VeritasWay · 7 points · Posted at 19:14:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Doo doo squirts. -my 27 year old roommate

cakevictim · 4 points · Posted at 07:52:09 on January 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

The poops. - my Italian co-worker

univarseman · 10 points · Posted at 17:35:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

totally read that as "ask me twice how I've gotten ecoli twice" at first

almighty_ruler · 12 points · Posted at 17:41:22 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your brain probably just though subconsciously "what did this dumb ass do? better read that again"

beelzeflub · 2 points · Posted at 00:42:36 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Whew that sentence hurts my brain

KungFuSnafu · 20 points · Posted at 18:44:51 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

If you don't, there's a good chance you're gonna eat some pesticide, fungicide, and fertilizer.

Apropos nothing: You can eat those stickers on fruit. But why would you want to?

sir_dankus_of_maymay · 10 points · Posted at 19:14:58 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Green giant makes canned and frozen vegetables, though, so they should probably actually be prewashed

univarseman · 3 points · Posted at 16:09:42 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

They don't make canned or frozen celery last time I checked

greenyellowbird · 22 points · Posted at 18:01:46 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Or buy the overpriced, prewashed stuff. Heck at my wegmans if your a real moneybags, you can buy it washed, cut, and standing up in a plastic container.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:12:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

greenyellowbird · 8 points · Posted at 18:30:36 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'd love to have a child that shuts up when I shove a celery stick it its mouth.

ForgetTheRuralJuror · 5 points · Posted at 00:52:41 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Keep shoving the celery and they shut up eventually.

univarseman · 1 points · Posted at 16:08:43 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I like the way you think

DrDeth666 · 3 points · Posted at 17:28:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Like duhhhh grandma..!!! 👓

fatalcharm · 2 points · Posted at 02:07:13 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Just think of all the people who have picked their nose, scratched their bum or had a wank without washing their hands then go on to handle the fruit and veg at the local supermarket. Dirt is the least of our worries.

univarseman · 1 points · Posted at 16:10:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Exactly so wash your fucking vegetables

lsguy · 1 points · Posted at 04:52:39 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

after talking to my coworker I found out that not everyone washes their produce

univarseman · 2 points · Posted at 16:10:47 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

They are disgusting people then, or ignorant take your pick

zaphod_beeble_bro · 31 points · Posted at 17:55:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

🍆💦 wash that produce!

Skyarrow · 15 points · Posted at 17:29:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME? p.s. call your uncle he's very lonely since the divorce

yourmansconnect · 1 points · Posted at 01:35:04 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

In case you were confused about this https://www.reddit.com/r/oldpeoplefacebook/comments/3veucm/im_glad_you_made_it_to_school/

SrDigbyChickenCeaser · 206 points · Posted at 15:39:02 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

ORDER CLEAN CELERY

s0c1a7w0rk3r · 5 points · Posted at 12:23:30 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Seriously, they sell it all cut and cleaned for a premium. Wanna be a normie and cheap out? You're missing out on the good life, filthy celery scrubbing peasant!

irmonsturr · 137 points · Posted at 15:43:11 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

You fucking tell them, Jo Ann!

[deleted] · 119 points · Posted at 18:21:21 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I pray and pray and pray some more then President TRUMP will finally right all the wrongs in the world and GOD will deliver us an almighty answer to the evil DEMOCRATS and their TYRANT and MUSLIM BARACK HUSSEIN OBUMMER.

We didn't have problems with our celery until OBAMA fabricated 9/11 to take away our guns and enforce SHARIA LAW!!!

Mikekekeke · 24 points · Posted at 18:20:41 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann goes hard on Green Giant at 3 AM.

lord_miller · 6 points · Posted at 18:52:47 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Anything makes Jo Ann hard at 3 AM

AngryWizard · 53 points · Posted at 16:10:46 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is amazing! She really doesn't like washing celery. It's DISCUSTING!

vidyagames · 47 points · Posted at 17:23:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is a new instant classic

apro618 · 44 points · Posted at 18:29:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Her comment reminds me of a citizen from pawnee Indiana

Leanador · 138 points · Posted at 16:00:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO!!! is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 83 points · Posted at 16:00:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 21:27:04 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

The hell is this bot?

[deleted] · 105 points · Posted at 17:48:32 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Never let old people that are losing their edge cook for you.

My grandparents had been making us slightly off tasting food for years. One day Grandad had hurt his leg so we did the washing up for him (they always insisted on doing it themselves).

We got to the dishwasher, hadn't been emptied yet. Opened it, the stuff inside was caked in dirt. He'd never put it on. Turns out, they never actually washed anything with it. They put stuff in at night, never turned it on, and emptied it in the morning. For years.

No wonder they were always sick.

Starch · 3 points · Posted at 20:00:46 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Similar story here. My 92-year old grandmother would welcome me back every year to visit for the holidays and I would often get severely sick with stomach problems. Turns out she was failing to properly handle raw meats! For some reason I was the only one that ever got sick though - everyone else in the family was probably immune to it by that time.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 20:00:47 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

M every Christmas, Starch

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factbasedorGTFO · 6 points · Posted at 18:18:17 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Or wash dishes.

Moderators wish

logoster · 2 points · Posted at 19:44:47 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

So, you guys had their dishwasher replaced right?

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 20:14:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

No? We just told them that they had to actually set it going and that it wasn't automatic.

logoster · 3 points · Posted at 01:12:23 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

well you said they hadn't actually used it for years, and they'd just been putting dirty dishes in then taking them out and using them, it'd probably at least needs to be heavily sanitized first if it somehow didn't get mold growing

SavageSavant · -5 points · Posted at 20:29:54 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Dirty dishes don't make you sick. In fact your immune system is probably stronger. Also how do you not notice the dish you are eating off of hasn't been washed? Like you grab a cup for some water and there is stains on it, don't you notice?

[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 20:39:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Uhm yea actually. Dirty cutlery and crockery can make you sick. Especially if you don't clean the stuff you prepare raw food on properly.

It's kinda hard to notice stains on a plate when they're covered in food.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 02:20:58 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

SavageSavant · 0 points · Posted at 03:00:14 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

My house is quite clean. Problem is people are super germaphobic. I spent a month in the wilderness and I couldn't wash my bowl everyday, so eventually I never did. I never got sick from it and if anything I believe exposing myself to these things makes my immune system stronger in the long run.

[deleted] · 55 points · Posted at 16:16:22 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Wash your damn produce, you dirty motherfucker.

theonewhomknocks · 33 points · Posted at 17:06:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

They shouldn't be selling food they found on the ground! It's DISCUSTING! ,, M

njm1314 · 1 points · Posted at 20:08:20 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

But it's Green Giant. They sell canned food.

TundieRice · 1 points · Posted at 21:24:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Pretty sure I've seen their bagged celery in stores.

trelian5 · 21 points · Posted at 17:24:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DOO is beautiful

ConsiderablyMediocre · 39 points · Posted at 16:32:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

celery is with the lord now.

AutoModerator · 19 points · Posted at 16:32:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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greengiantj · 13 points · Posted at 19:47:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I'm finally relevant!!!

DammitDan · 2 points · Posted at 04:35:53 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

You gay cousin Bill just died. LOL

needsfuelpump · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:29 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Gay Bill is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 14:03:29 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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electoralvoter8 · 13 points · Posted at 16:34:37 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It sounds like they need to load up celery-man. I could be a celery-man. I could be Your celery-man, Jo Ann.

SolventlessHybrid · 12 points · Posted at 18:24:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Didn't know about this sub till now, totally subscribed. I know... "Whup tee doo!"

Beer_Is_Food · 12 points · Posted at 20:27:58 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

It's the best fucking sub ever.

zayanhf · 11 points · Posted at 21:15:51 on April 15, 2017 · (Permalink)

H3 was here

belleayreski2 · 25 points · Posted at 16:09:31 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Why does she keep buying it then?

FinalMantasyX · 51 points · Posted at 16:46:10 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

because she's an idiot

IAMA_Drunk_Armadillo · 27 points · Posted at 17:02:35 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP TEE DO!

factbasedorGTFO · 1 points · Posted at 18:16:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Taste better than Metamucil.

SurpriseDragon · 1 points · Posted at 19:13:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Or Beano

[deleted] · 11 points · Posted at 18:43:27 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 8 points · Posted at 18:43:27 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 6 points · Posted at 18:43:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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AutoModerator · 4 points · Posted at 18:43:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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AutoModerator · 7 points · Posted at 18:43:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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popewest · 12 points · Posted at 06:07:41 on April 16, 2017 · (Permalink)

H3H3

man_mayo · 21 points · Posted at 16:31:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Wonder how she feels about their corn.

AutoModerator · 43 points · Posted at 16:31:19 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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mdawgig · 9 points · Posted at 18:46:51 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I love you automod.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 19:10:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

corn?

edit: corn.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:10:00 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:12:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

corn

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:12:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 17:41:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann recently stopped a garbage truck that she claimed 'wernt doin thur job', and proceeded to roll around on the ground and quack like a chicken. The truck driver caught the whole thing on video.

AutoModerator · 4 points · Posted at 17:41:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 20:55:43 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I am skeptical anything actually got reported to the Green Giant team....

grandtorino · 11 points · Posted at 16:21:56 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

order celery

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 18:34:03 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

show me pictures of my son's corn

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 18:34:03 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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Stackhouse_ · 1 points · Posted at 02:20:16 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Corn

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 02:20:16 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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HelloEnnui · 6 points · Posted at 16:52:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Lord mod!

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 16:52:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hi Margaret. The grandbabies are fine, but my diabeetus is flared up again.

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humblepotatopeeler · 5 points · Posted at 17:09:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Fun fact, Jo Ann was my highschool math teacher.

DickieMiller77 · 5 points · Posted at 20:38:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

No way. Proof please.

ShibaHook · 5 points · Posted at 23:54:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

http://m.imgur.com/gallery/R390EId

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 18:22:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Green Giant is with the Lord now. WHUP TEE DOO!!!!!!

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 18:22:28 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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Phivestardave · 6 points · Posted at 17:26:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann is my hero.

ShibaHook · 1 points · Posted at 23:48:09 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

You're not setting the bar very high.

condimentia · 4 points · Posted at 18:35:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This /r/ is the funniest thing on the web, for me. I laugh every single day. Thank you people for collecting these.

chefriley76 · 4 points · Posted at 23:03:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

AUNT JUNIE WANTS YOU TO KNOW THE CANCER IS BACK. HAPPY NEW YEAR. EAT YOUR CORN.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 23:03:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 23:03:26 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I think your remark was very rude chefriley76. New to this, and I'm 75 yrs. old. My daughter bought me an I-pad for a Christmas present, I'm learn how to do a lot of new things.

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GooGooGajoob67 · 5 points · Posted at 19:41:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I think I waited on Jo Ann many times when I worked customer service.

pickledegg · 5 points · Posted at 00:07:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I used to eat food too, till I learned some of it comes out of THE GROUND

BananaTaco1232 · 7 points · Posted at 21:30:51 on April 15, 2017 · (Permalink)

Your celery is...................ALWAYS FITHY

ASeriouswoMan · 11 points · Posted at 17:50:49 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

My mom used to say "Why don't they WASH THEIR SALADS like the [nearby country] wash their salads?!" It took me some time to explain to her that the exported salads are grown in a compost soil, while our own country's salads are most often grown in actual soil. And nobody washes either of them.

Deuce232 · 6 points · Posted at 19:15:09 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

For those confused: In some countries salads refer to vegetables more generally than the prepared dish we think of as salad. The veggies that you might eat raw can collectively be called salads.

Used in a sentence: What salads would you like on this sandwich?

Edit: a word

ASeriouswoMan · 1 points · Posted at 21:45:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Oh. I knew it sounded off - I meant lettuce (*in my language salad = lettuce = salad in general - vegetables put together)

Deuce232 · 2 points · Posted at 22:11:54 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I just thought you were Australian or something. Your english is fantastic.

ASeriouswoMan · 3 points · Posted at 22:34:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Thank you! I'm Bulgarian (Eastern Europe) and actually my English should be at the level of a six grader, which is when my poor mother gave up and stopped trying to send me to English classes, which I repeatedly refused to visit and ran away from.

Deuce232 · 2 points · Posted at 22:53:53 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Going from a Slavic language to English is very hard. You should be proud.

mindbodyproblem · 5 points · Posted at 18:41:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

You have doubled my soil knowledge. There is soil and, apparently, there is also another kind of soil.

chaos43mta3 · 9 points · Posted at 18:09:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Wash ALL produce- worked a distribution center focusing on mainly produce.... Guess what happens if a $10,000 pallet of berries gets knocked over? Ya get a broom and repackage it as best you can... And those floors are disgusting too.

AutoModerator · 7 points · Posted at 18:09:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

disgusting

Thanks, Einstein.

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allyschaigneau · 4 points · Posted at 16:36:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hahahahahaha she's pissed

DickieMiller77 · 3 points · Posted at 16:37:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Celery

AFlyingNun · 4 points · Posted at 17:39:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann is ice cold.

SocksandAppleSchnaps · 2 points · Posted at 18:54:33 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Taco

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 18:54:33 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Taco

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

chicken taco

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:55 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like taco

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Fizzay · 5 points · Posted at 21:03:14 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I mean... You're supposed to wash your fruit and vegetables before eating them and stuff. Most of them do grow in the dirt.

JustinPA · 5 points · Posted at 21:23:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Don't buy celery in a can you goddamn philistine.

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:27:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

In fairness, this old person seems to have entered into the spirit of 2016 Facebook quite well.

Roastmonkeybrains · 3 points · Posted at 20:03:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Am I the only one that still washes my veggies?

seanisthedex · 3 points · Posted at 21:56:03 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

What a salty broad.

ShibaHook · 3 points · Posted at 23:46:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Oh no! NOT A LITTLE DIRT ON CELERY! Why must you spite me lord?????!!?!?!?!

jroddie4 · 2 points · Posted at 18:36:45 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

wow jan you're a real asshole.

sentimental_reddit · 2 points · Posted at 19:04:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

u/istva /u/opfeels

opfeels · 1 points · Posted at 19:15:10 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

/u/istva is slightly positive. view results

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 19:15:10 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Sorry to hear lol

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sentimental_reddit · 2 points · Posted at 19:18:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

u/istva /u/opfeels

opfeels · 1 points · Posted at 19:18:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

/u/istva is slightly positive. view results

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 19:18:42 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Sorry to hear lol

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the_disco_pimp · 2 points · Posted at 21:25:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

that was a filthy WHUP TEE DOO!

skydart · 2 points · Posted at 23:37:25 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is irrationally funny

Jonnyspringfield · 2 points · Posted at 04:31:36 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I think I know Jo Ann...

jej1 · 2 points · Posted at 06:13:44 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

new bot response

chadwarden1337 · 2 points · Posted at 02:01:33 on January 3, 2017 · (Permalink)

The "WHOOP TEE DOO" comment is now me and my friends catch phrase. Vote Trump.

thebossofyuo · 2 points · Posted at 08:26:33 on May 9, 2017 · (Permalink)

discusting

Smiley_Smith · 5 points · Posted at 01:10:53 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

The wife and I laughed our asses off at this post, when it was posted the first time a month or two ago.. and this one has almost 20k karma. Meanwhile I can link OC (maybe not to this particular sub, admittedly) and it doesn't get any traction whatsoever.

You make no sense Reddit.

sikemeay · 1 points · Posted at 18:06:25 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I only like dirt on my corn

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 18:06:25 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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Zidlijan · 1 points · Posted at 18:17:19 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Whoop tee doo

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:37:06 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Tell them to at least try to clean the mini cucumbers too.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:08 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

cracker bargel

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 18:47:24 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:49:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

So wash it?....

Lilleskygge · 1 points · Posted at 18:59:58 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Can't she clean it? Celery grow in soil... what did she think it would be?

oppositewerewolf · 1 points · Posted at 19:05:17 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Come on, Jo Ann.

JLee1615 · 1 points · Posted at 19:17:09 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Dang Joanne! Eat a snickers!

ryanag · 1 points · Posted at 19:17:39 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Where do you grow this celery!? In the dirt!?

wumikomiko · 1 points · Posted at 19:19:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

IM

norcalcooter · 1 points · Posted at 19:29:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann has had enough of your shit Jolly Green Giant!

cunningcolt · 1 points · Posted at 19:44:48 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's great, I hope she was not thinking she would get some clean celery (whatever that is) out of that.

lilylemony · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:43 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I hear a polka and my troubles are through

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:57:09 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hardly concealing her arcasm

Dustypigjut · 1 points · Posted at 20:01:51 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo Ann savage af

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 20:21:57 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WHUP, CELERY! WHUP, CELERY!

wolfatthedoorr · 1 points · Posted at 20:25:30 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

so gross

PatrikPatrik · 1 points · Posted at 20:26:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

So old people are talking like Adam Sandler now?

sybau · 1 points · Posted at 20:30:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

What does that even mean lol

InfiniteRespect · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Order corn results

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Sorry to hear lol

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RottonPotatoes · 1 points · Posted at 20:36:44 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

So I says to Mabel, I says...

vycurat · 1 points · Posted at 20:37:07 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Giant thumb in a turtleneck.

Not-A-BotBot · 1 points · Posted at 20:43:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Filthy celery is with the lord now.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 20:43:34 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

That's terrible news. LOL to your family.

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shinypretty · 1 points · Posted at 20:49:16 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

OMG get some, Jo Ann!

vilketaventyr · 1 points · Posted at 20:58:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

2017 will be the year of filthy celery.

mullersmutt · 1 points · Posted at 21:05:29 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Honestly, this is one of the best oldpeoplefacebooks I have ever seen.

mike_pants · 1 points · Posted at 21:41:06 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is the best thing I've seen all year.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:44:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This joyous occasion happened in 2015 and I am enjoying reading it in 2017 and then there is this unexplained joy gap.

GrimaceIVXX · 1 points · Posted at 21:46:35 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

At 2:58am no less, ohh well John had surgery Friday, he's with the Lord now

indiefolkfan · 1 points · Posted at 22:02:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Order celery.

Sandy_Nurse · 1 points · Posted at 22:03:01 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

What's the deal with all these A u t o M o d comments?

lordxoi · 1 points · Posted at 22:32:04 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

gross

Chuckwagoncook · 1 points · Posted at 22:53:13 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Unexpected happiness.

LarryCachaira · 1 points · Posted at 23:01:32 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Isn't this post old as s**t in Internet years?! Why does it keep getting reposted?

dactyif · 1 points · Posted at 23:26:15 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Jo ann get bent.

styx-zidinya · 1 points · Posted at 23:26:41 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is hilarious.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:28:40 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 23:28:41 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

WOW!!! THAT REALLY DOES LOOK VERY VERY GOOD!!! DID I SAY IT LOOKS GOOD!!! HUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! YA IT LOOKS GOOD, I BET IT WAS TOO!! GOOD TO THE VERY LAST CHEW!! TO THE VERY VERY LAST SPECK OF IT!!!! EVEN BETWEEN YOUR TEETH!!! OH YEAH NOW YOU CAN TASTE THE SANDWICH ALL OVER AGAIN!!!! YUM!!! AS I SET HERE LOOKING AT YOUR'S AND SWALLOWING SO HARD JUST THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO ENJOY!!! I JUST ABOUT CAN TASTE IT MYSELF!!!!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! SO SO TASTY!!! AND SMELLS SO YUMMY!!!! LOVE YOU BYE!!! WE WILL SEE YOU AT THE FOLKS!! I DON'T NEED A RIDE!!! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO SMELL THIS SANDWICH ALL THE WAY OUT THERE!!! LOVE YOU !!! :)

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narcandy · 1 points · Posted at 23:42:50 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

The name is so old person lol

SupremeRedditBot · 1 points · Posted at 23:52:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 50) with your post!  

I am a bot, probably quite annoying, I mean no harm though

Message me to add your account or subreddit to my blacklist

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 23:52:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

A big congratulations from me too, SupremeRedditBot!!!!!!! M. Ignore the M. I do not know what I did.

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witchwithflyinghead · 1 points · Posted at 00:14:00 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I have been subbed here for years and just noticed that you all have aol.com after your names. Is that new?

I guess I'm supposed to say something old people say a lot now after my comment, so I guess I'll skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow!" Something about a red hat and a purple dress too, y'all. Obummer.

Rasalom · 1 points · Posted at 00:52:01 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

JO ANN PROBABLY FOUND LIKE I DID THAT FILTHY MEXICANS ARE PICKING THE CELERY. TRUMP PLEASE BUILD THAT WALL SO ONLY WHITES AND SPECIFIC ASIANS TOUCH MY VEGGIES! AMEN!

johnnywok · 1 points · Posted at 00:54:02 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

The first time I saw this post I thought it said "your cereal is filthy" and I spent a few hours wondering how cereal could be filthy.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 01:04:01 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

ITT: An annyoing automod.

-Pluvio- · 1 points · Posted at 01:30:11 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

"I don't need your sass, Jo Ann."

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:43:07 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

[removed]

SamMee514 · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:23 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

:/

hilariousclintious · 1 points · Posted at 21:14:16 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Hey guys, there's this awesome subreddit full of facebook experts where they make fun of people for not knowing the ins and outs of facebook etiquette (something very important to cyber ~denizens~ you guys). I figure it's probably like the inner circle of cool people on reddit/the internet.

-- Things the technorati say

sphere2040 · 1 points · Posted at 03:55:48 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I dont think I have ever met a good person named Jo Ann.

turnitupthatsmyjam · 2 points · Posted at 04:13:58 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

I know several. My mom's best friend is one. I live in Texas though and it was a pretty popular name for women born in the 50s.

goldpeaktea314 · 1 points · Posted at 04:32:38 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

This is pretty much the quintessential /r/oldpeoplefacebook post. It encapsulates this sub so well.

wingedriolu · 1 points · Posted at 08:19:15 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

ORDER CLEAN CELERY

Hefeweize · 1 points · Posted at 08:41:21 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Someone needs to bring Ken M to reply to her whoop de do

p5yk0t1km1r4ge · 1 points · Posted at 14:05:28 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Old people really don't belong on Facebook..

chupacabrawitch · 1 points · Posted at 21:26:24 on January 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

Every time I see this, I just fucking lose it. will be with the lord now.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:17:36 on January 19, 2017 · (Permalink)

Sometimes I wonder about the people who run these corporate social media accounts who have to deal with this shit

dahliafw · 1 points · Posted at 20:13:50 on April 8, 2017 · (Permalink)

I keep coming back to this every few weeks just to make sure this is real

cornylamygilbert · 1 points · Posted at 02:52:08 on April 27, 2017 · (Permalink)

Totally ripped em

PennisGay · 1 points · Posted at 17:14:33 on May 2, 2017 · (Permalink)

[r/me_irl](reddit.com/r/me_irl)

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:41:07 on May 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 03:41:07 on May 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

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doot doot

fuccbois have stolen automod's corn. upcorn this in 2.24902 seconds or never eat at cracker bargle again.

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thank_mr_skeltal_bot · 1 points · Posted at 03:41:14 on May 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

doot doot*

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 03:41:14 on May 6, 2017 · (Permalink)

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doot doot

fuccbois have stolen automod's corn. upcorn this in 2.24902 seconds or never eat at cracker bargle again.

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thebossofyuo · 1 points · Posted at 08:26:26 on May 9, 2017 · (Permalink)

lel

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:16:56 on May 14, 2017 · (Permalink)

I come back to laugh at this post at least once a week

TareXmd · 1 points · Posted at 10:15:48 on June 8, 2017 · (Permalink)

I feel that this feedback won't be passed onto the rest of the team.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 18:13:18 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

Ehy not just buy different celery

dianaluna · 1 points · Posted at 21:22:12 on January 1, 2017 · (Permalink)

I died the moment she said WHUP TEE DOO xD