The only 4 texts my dad has ever sent me. From his flip phone.

🎙️ katyrose_ · 9149 points · Posted at 21:41:18 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)


ConradSchu · 1215 points · Posted at 22:42:20 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

PLEASE tell me you remembered to de t e s t e

🎙️ katyrose_ · 556 points · Posted at 23:14:33 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I did, luckily

Frungy · 250 points · Posted at 01:07:05 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What was he trying to say?

🎙️ katyrose_ · 796 points · Posted at 01:13:35 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was telling me to take my car for an E-check

Knight11 · 668 points · Posted at 01:16:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Obviously

Mmer03 · 139 points · Posted at 03:48:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Goes without saying

WoodTrophy · 139 points · Posted at 04:09:50 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

g o e s w i t h o u t s a y i n g

farmer_gandalf · 91 points · Posted at 04:46:35 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

D a d I s m - Tryin to make a change :-/

Nichols101 · 24 points · Posted at 04:59:20 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

How old are you?

[deleted] · 60 points · Posted at 05:13:11 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

uhmerikin · 4 points · Posted at 06:02:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does your head hurt? Tryin to make a change :-/

MrGameAmpersandWatch · 13 points · Posted at 06:25:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thank you for reminding me of this - Tryin to make a change :-/

[deleted] · 7 points · Posted at 09:37:39 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ah man thank you, I love being reminded of this

nliausacmmv · 24 points · Posted at 06:47:54 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh, I thought it was the dentist.

TheRingshifter · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:47 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That's exactly what I thought.

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 04:09:41 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Emissions?

corruptcake · 27 points · Posted at 05:22:13 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, that would be an Emissions Check. He needed to get his car checked for Ecstasy.

maddkid53 · 16 points · Posted at 13:49:39 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Good thing to test for imo, most cars I see are rolling all over the place

MrGameAmpersandWatch · 5 points · Posted at 06:26:18 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Electronic check

TurtleSayuri · 5 points · Posted at 05:47:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I like how you remember from like two years ago lol

AyoGeo · 23 points · Posted at 01:11:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dentist maybe?

Lies-All-The-Time · 25 points · Posted at 01:13:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Detest what tho

DoctorSingh · 66 points · Posted at 01:18:07 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

THE LIES OUR ZIONIST GOVERNMENT FEEDS US

JellophantOfCake · 22 points · Posted at 01:54:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Barak Obama is a muslin terrorist!

AskMeAboutMyPuppy · 18 points · Posted at 02:01:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

He's working with Satin!!!1!

JellophantOfCake · 12 points · Posted at 02:04:04 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

L0ol order mor christian memes ples

matkv · 5 points · Posted at 02:50:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

BENGHAZI!

Lacagada · 5 points · Posted at 03:43:06 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"e"

tjrl · 18 points · Posted at 01:40:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

To detest e. I'm going to guess that it's either Mr. E from Recess or the irrational number.

omicronperseiB8 · 7 points · Posted at 01:16:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Don't forget the testes!

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 01:41:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

He was reminding OP to not like ecstasy.

metaobject · 1 points · Posted at 18:54:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Remember the teste

[deleted] · 108 points · Posted at 02:21:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

de_teste

ExtraCheesyPie · 77 points · Posted at 03:31:11 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Map is too dad sided

cheese1234567890 · 9 points · Posted at 09:33:59 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

fucking dad's camping behind car... Harumph

Wyodaniel · -5 points · Posted at 04:53:21 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wooo! I'm glad someone else from /r/globaloffensive spotted that

thebookofeli · 6 points · Posted at 17:42:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Counter strike has been around for like 15 years now it's not the obscure reference you think it is

Ultra-Bad-Poker-Face · 56 points · Posted at 00:59:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Je deteste

furiousvullns · 9 points · Posted at 03:06:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Remember the testes?

napkin_man · 10 points · Posted at 04:32:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Des testes

furiousvullns · 5 points · Posted at 13:53:13 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Got heeeem

Patrik333 · 3 points · Posted at 02:16:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm guessing that doesn't actually mean 'don't forget to ha t e?

GoBlankYourself · 1 points · Posted at 06:50:35 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok

paynehouse · 1 points · Posted at 09:55:04 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

What is this Spange thing and why can't I highlight the text?

Hatewrecked · 2012 points · Posted at 22:54:33 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

d a d a e s t h e t i c

starman888 · 696 points · Posted at 23:58:24 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

D A D D Y V A P 0 R W A V 3

[deleted] · 432 points · Posted at 00:43:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

mylifeisaLIEEE · 291 points · Posted at 00:54:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

What is this?

Amemiya8 · 12 points · Posted at 10:22:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

ラダ - As in a ladder or a Lada, the Russian car?

Or Rodda paints?

Spineless_John · 43 points · Posted at 13:45:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

No, as in Japanese letters look cool

qdhcjv · 74 points · Posted at 01:23:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

How do I do meme text like S T O I C?

pcman2000 · 112 points · Posted at 01:39:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Full  width  Unicode  -  you  can  find  converters  online.

qdhcjv · 131 points · Posted at 01:48:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks,  I've  been  looking  for  a  e  s  t  h  e  t  i  c  text  forever!

catsnstuffz · 70 points · Posted at 02:30:31 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

D͖ ̟͖̰̻̭ͅa̧̖̖̤̞̖̙̤ ̥̠d̴̩̬̫̜ ̶̺̮̯͖I̠̕ ̠̤s̷̮͇͉̣̼͎̙ ̡̬̦̥̳̫s̫͉͞ ̞̖͉̦o̯̱̘̲̫ͅ ̣͖̜̬͜s̠̻̗ ͎̳̦̣͇̀I̺͔̜͎͎̯͘ ̪̳l̹̩̹͇ l̹̫̣̲̗̣͈ ý ̥̝̣͝s̷͍̞͙ ̵̤͈͉o̟͘ ̜͉͎͕͘m̠̝̪̘ ̫̱̠̩͚͟e̖͉̳̺̟̻͟ ̣̀t̯̻̱̫̜́ ̲̬̲͕̼̥͔I̷ ̛͕m̙̪̫̤̤͕ͅ ̡͔e͔͙͍̜̜͜ ̲̻̟̼̬͉͉s͎̞̤̱͔

leothelion634 · 11 points · Posted at 05:07:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is there a sub for shit like this?

[deleted] · 139 points · Posted at 05:14:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

you mean some ... good shit???
👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

UNSCInfinity · 31 points · Posted at 08:15:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

バスツアー Aesthetic shit スツ thats モール some Aesthetic バス shit right モールモールthere メキシコシティーright ツアthere ピングモール if i do say so myself ブルi say so バス thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: right there) mMMMMMM ピングモールブル НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooOOOOOOOO メキシコシティー Aesthetic shit

/r/goodshitpasta

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 04:59:40 on December 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mrery Crhistmas, /u/UNSCInfinity!

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[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 06:18:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Wow it was used correctly..

p1um5mu991er · 5 points · Posted at 05:16:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

i believe /r/fifthworldproblems used to be that way but idk about now

[deleted] · 15 points · Posted at 05:19:32 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:38:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
whatawhatwhat420 · 2 points · Posted at 05:39:23 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

i wanted to subscribe but the button doesnt work lol

p1um5mu991er · 1 points · Posted at 05:25:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

thereee we go. forgot

Oregoncrete · 3 points · Posted at 08:47:16 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Can always branch out to /r/sixthworldproblems

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 09:29:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

What is this?

WeHaveMetBefore · 1 points · Posted at 11:14:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:56:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude your letters are wavy

Coffeechipmunk · 13 points · Posted at 10:09:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
bblazer24 · 5 points · Posted at 13:06:06 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

we watched the full video of that in my driver's Ed class last year

that part had me laughing for a solid 10 minutes and the teacher was pissed and didn't know why we thought it was funny

acado_gt · 46 points · Posted at 03:38:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

i t s a l l i n y o u r h e a d s o n

AmBozz · 5 points · Posted at 16:27:32 on March 28, 2016 · (Permalink)

d a d b o y s 2 0 1 6

procinct · 241 points · Posted at 00:53:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

His texts look like a hostage ransom note

[deleted] · 43 points · Posted at 04:41:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

hi raymond say hello to janice for me hope the kids are doing well

PotsyWife · 884 points · Posted at 22:12:43 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pasta or lamb for Christmas? Do you have a Christmas rock instead of a tree?

Maxtsi · 691 points · Posted at 22:40:02 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Treeing around the Christmas Rock." It's my favourite carol.

Socky_McPuppet · 93 points · Posted at 01:12:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

my favortie carol was yuor aunty carol she was a bit of a "go-er" in 'er day i can tell you lololol i"m glad even an old egg like me can get the "hang" of this "PRVIATE MESG" thing so this is"nt somethigne everone can sE!!

Phoojoeniam · 47 points · Posted at 02:41:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

carol is with lord LoL hows school

The_Whole_World · 27 points · Posted at 03:14:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is some next-level oldpeoplefacebook

Socky_McPuppet · 29 points · Posted at 04:05:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

who are you? i neared have them arrst you for hackiNg!!!ver invited you on my page. please delete this or i will call the policE

The_Whole_World · 4 points · Posted at 05:37:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry for bothering you ma'am

joshsmog · 7 points · Posted at 12:08:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

1

NeilBillAndI · 66 points · Posted at 00:17:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I love you. That made me laugh.

J_the_Assassin · 8 points · Posted at 07:22:32 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That setup was perfect

suzy_sweetheart86 · 24 points · Posted at 03:10:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lamb is expensive and delicious. How dare you

meltedwhitechocolate · 76 points · Posted at 07:52:11 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah the lamb is a great option, but fucking PASTA? Get your shit together dad its Christmas not fucking tuesday

leburninator · 13 points · Posted at 11:22:34 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm Italian, we always have pasta for Christmas...I thought it was a thing.

thelostdolphin · 8 points · Posted at 15:25:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Same. Lasagna, braciole, wedding soup, stuffed artichoke..

staxnet · 5 points · Posted at 08:46:33 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Butt fucking pasta

and all-you-can-eat breadsticks.

GeorgeAmberson · 4 points · Posted at 15:22:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm signed up to bring a pasta to the family Christmas. I'm going to go with the "home made mac and cheese is pasta" route because it's easier and I got shit to do today. ORDER PASTA.

DarkS29 · 1 points · Posted at 04:44:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lamb is ok. Lamb with mint sauce now that's glorious.

flarn2006 · 12 points · Posted at 02:55:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

/u/PotsyWife is with the lord now.

AutoModerator · 56 points · Posted at 02:55:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ZapActions-dower · 12 points · Posted at 05:18:42 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fucking incredile

[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 02:17:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who would want a Christmas rock?

dDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDb · 9 points · Posted at 08:18:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

People who eat pasta for Christmas.

Abraman1 · 8 points · Posted at 04:33:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Boring people, that's who.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:36:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nobody wants a Christmas rock, but you know that's the kind of shit Charlie Brown would get stuck with.

gatorfan3192 · 32 points · Posted at 02:01:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 153 points · Posted at 02:01:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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[deleted] · 134 points · Posted at 02:16:54 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

flarn2006 · 24 points · Posted at 02:55:16 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That random extra text works perfectly with that comment.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 02:19:09 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 10 points · Posted at 02:19:09 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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smencils · 0 points · Posted at 05:24:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did he say Sucks?

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 05:24:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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three_money · 2 points · Posted at 06:06:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks sucks sucks

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 06:06:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 05:35:18 on October 12, 2018 · (Permalink)

It's for a church honey! NEXT!

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Kmlkmljkl · 1 points · Posted at 07:08:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

VACUUMS

PeacefulSequoia · 1 points · Posted at 17:38:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

dis·gust·ing with a G you silly bot

adjective: disgusting

arousing revulsion or strong indignation.
SilverShrimp0 · 2 points · Posted at 18:23:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
PeacefulSequoia · 1 points · Posted at 18:26:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

figured I was OOTL since its used so often around here, just didn't have a clue where it came from, thanks :)

Freddie_AppsHero · 5 points · Posted at 07:15:21 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

"Now gather around while the Christmas bear stuffs butter down your shirts."

prof_talc · 2 points · Posted at 15:08:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I find tinsel distracting

dexpid · 1 points · Posted at 07:52:04 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Our family always does wontons for christmas. Whole family sits around a big table and wraps them while drinking. It's a nice change of pace from turkey. I look forward to it more than the presents every year.

TheDewyDecimal · 1 points · Posted at 08:33:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Linguini with a red clam sauce and shrimp parmesan is my family's tradition.

tipher93 · 1 points · Posted at 20:58:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I was wondering about this too. Like wtf

hypertown · 1 points · Posted at 04:50:25 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm having lasagna for christmas dinner. Tradition can go fuck itself.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:19:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Me too. But that's tradition in my house anyway.

Sproose_Moose · 323 points · Posted at 00:05:56 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Is your dad a s p o o k y ghost?

NeilBillAndI · 79 points · Posted at 00:18:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

H e s s o o o o p e r s p o o k y ! S u c h h a u n t e d .

hgd123 · 16 points · Posted at 04:57:07 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

At least 300 h a u n t e d

AnthraxAndFriends · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Turns out Resident Evil 3 is the funniest game of all time

Hector_Ceromus · 22 points · Posted at 02:25:52 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Nah, a silly skeleton.

D o n ' t y o u k n o w h o w to g r e e t y o u r o l d d a d ?

gymnasticRug · 18 points · Posted at 03:07:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Y o u ' r e g o n n a h a v e a b a d t I m e

moistbutter · 3 points · Posted at 06:07:18 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

hey, it's me, your s p o o k y ghost

screwl00se · 201 points · Posted at 00:00:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

i'm guessing it's on predictive text with a number keypad and he's trying to force each letter to show what he wants, not realising the word will change to what he wants if he just keeps on typing

talldrseuss · 89 points · Posted at 03:23:21 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude, T9 word was awesome. One hand no look texting was the norm for me in college. Probably why I prefer swype now over a traditional tap and predict

[deleted] · 85 points · Posted at 04:08:17 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] · 35 points · Posted at 04:38:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dual yeah it was.

AntelopeGreg · 22 points · Posted at 04:39:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yeah it was. Ttyl though, I'm going good

underdog_rox · 14 points · Posted at 05:42:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pretty sure it was really home.

DrProbably · 2 points · Posted at 09:41:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It was streets ahead

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 04:24:26 on January 13, 2016 · (Permalink)

I'd kick her puppy

Maryjane42069 · 1 points · Posted at 05:25:52 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Since when are we using the term Book

DrProbably · 4 points · Posted at 09:41:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

T9 joke

BEAR_DICK_PUNCH · 3 points · Posted at 09:50:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It's the same key pad presses as "cool" and an easy mistake to make when using predictive text on a keypad

Maryjane42069 · 1 points · Posted at 10:37:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

oh goodness i feel stupid thank you

BEAR_DICK_PUNCH · 1 points · Posted at 10:54:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Haha it's all good :)

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 04:23:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Have you tried Fleksy? I just mash my fingers where i think the words are and it knows what i want most the time. You can even make your keyboard invisible and use it perfectly fine. Fleksy takes a bit to get used to, but now i don't think i could go back to Swype

mandelboxset · 8 points · Posted at 05:01:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The keyboard layout and interaction is amazing, but the dictionary and predictive text are the worst I've used, luckily the pros outweigh the cons, but I wish I could put a stock google predictive text/autocorrect into Fleksy so bad.

g18suppressed · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:42 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

T9 made it impossible not to look because it keeps changing brush

everdant · 1 points · Posted at 16:22:32 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I downgraded to a flip phone, and still use T9 on a daily basis! I did really enjoy Swype when I had a smartphone, too.

riddick3 · 1 points · Posted at 08:35:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Ok thanks to all my life in general public relations between us and we.

Spaciouz · 125 points · Posted at 23:40:44 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your dad has a nice vaporwave aesthetic going on.

PerryLJackson · 50 points · Posted at 04:21:17 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dadintosh Plus

arcoolka · 43 points · Posted at 00:55:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

S A D B O Y S

Monsieur_Krabs · 5 points · Posted at 07:14:47 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

2003 shawty

thisrockismyboone · 4 points · Posted at 06:55:33 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Tatted on my chest

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 11:52:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

C H E S T B O Y S

[deleted] · 31 points · Posted at 22:43:28 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)
NateNMaxsRobot · 28 points · Posted at 01:46:16 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

OP, I'm dead serious here. Please tell me: Did you pick lamb, or not?

🎙️ katyrose_ · 33 points · Posted at 01:57:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I did pick lamb! But I think he ended up making both. No complaints here!

Neurot5 · 22 points · Posted at 06:15:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lamb is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 6 points · Posted at 06:15:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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Imthesoggybiscuit · 1 points · Posted at 19:53:56 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Order lamb

Hison37 · 18 points · Posted at 23:47:02 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

l A m b p l e a s e /

DundahMifflin · 16 points · Posted at 23:57:55 on December 23, 2015 · (Permalink)

I think I'm gonna start texting like this.

lostereadamy · 14 points · Posted at 02:08:09 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

O r d e r a e s t h e t i c

skwibb · 14 points · Posted at 01:33:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
 b          u  u  u   u u u    t        tt tt                         w ,               wh                    w         h  h      h              y      y                a r                           e                t                   t  t t ttt             tth           t   h         e                          b bb b  bb  u         ttt          o  ns                    s   o  o oo       o                    c    c cc                 l l          os e t         og                   og       gg                  ee                         ther
underdog_rox · 2 points · Posted at 05:43:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks?

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 05:43:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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IanGecko · 1 points · Posted at 17:22:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

e.e cummings, you're alive!

CoogleGhrome · 62 points · Posted at 00:41:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Real talk, texting on flip phones sucks though.

AutoModerator · 104 points · Posted at 00:41:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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LordOfStaches · 43 points · Posted at 00:59:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 32 points · Posted at 00:59:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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Kraps · 72 points · Posted at 01:15:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

sucks is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 53 points · Posted at 01:15:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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Truzza · 6 points · Posted at 04:36:17 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Meta

LeHagfish · 15 points · Posted at 03:57:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stop please, the bot can only take so much!

Maryjane42069 · 9 points · Posted at 05:26:31 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You sucks

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 05:26:31 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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AutoModerator · 28 points · Posted at 01:15:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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Dam_Kids · 23 points · Posted at 01:59:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Order sucks

AutoModerator · 14 points · Posted at 01:59:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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Ravastrix · 9 points · Posted at 02:07:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That sucks

AutoModerator · 8 points · Posted at 02:07:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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Calvincoolidg · 1 points · Posted at 03:07:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 03:07:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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thefezhat · 1 points · Posted at 05:01:25 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

penis

Edit: I can't keep up with this bot and its newfangled technology.

HouseOLearnedDoctors · 5 points · Posted at 03:07:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Discusting sucks

AutoModerator · 6 points · Posted at 03:07:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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TheCheeseGod · 1 points · Posted at 07:04:13 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Fuck you, AutoMod! You suck shit!

Unidan_nadinU · 9 points · Posted at 04:05:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

AutoModerator kinda sucks.

AutoModerator · 12 points · Posted at 04:05:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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ICantSurvivee · 22 points · Posted at 04:15:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

AutoModerator is with the lord now

AutoModerator · 112 points · Posted at 04:15:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

AutoModerator is with the lord

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a mod over 100 subreddits, and I have over 300 confirmed removals of comments. I am trained in the moderation of subreddits and I’m in the top 50 moderators on stattit. You are nothing to me but just another low effort troll. I will wipe your comments the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of power-users across r/modtalk[1] and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ban, maggot. The ban that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking finished, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can track you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from the comfort of my mom's basement. Not only am I extensively trained in moderation, but I have access to the entirety of Reddit mods and I will use that to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of all the defaults, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “comment” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn user. I will jizz comment removals all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking unfunny, kiddo.

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skyflyer8 · 34 points · Posted at 04:34:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Now where did that one come from?

Dahhhn · 4 points · Posted at 05:02:59 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Must be an atheist

[deleted] · 27 points · Posted at 04:17:28 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My sides are with the lord now

ICantSurvivee · 12 points · Posted at 04:16:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

You're fucking unfunny kiddo.

Jeeze, that hit me where it hurts :(

iiarrowzii · 3 points · Posted at 04:54:50 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Stfu

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 04:15:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 04:56:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 04:56:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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Not_Joshy · 2 points · Posted at 10:32:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
User_Simulator · 3 points · Posted at 10:33:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

User 'AutoModerator' has 0 comments in history; minimum requirement is 25.


Info | Subreddit

Oregoncrete · 5 points · Posted at 08:49:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks is with the lord now.

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 08:49:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:44 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 03:11:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 3 points · Posted at 03:11:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

koiz_01 · 1 points · Posted at 04:57:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

sucks you bot

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:57:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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TheCheeseGod · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

AutoModerator fucks fuzzy monkeys and bunnies and it sucks on the feces they drop.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

adescuentechable · 2 points · Posted at 04:13:07 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It wasn't that bad with T9.

rotinom · 24 points · Posted at 02:46:16 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll say it. Cherish this. He won't be here forever. I took for granted this kind of stuff my mom did until she died. I regret the contempt I had for it.

🎙️ katyrose_ · 20 points · Posted at 03:04:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

<3 I think it's awesome. Sorry about your mom :(

rotinom · 7 points · Posted at 03:20:23 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Thanks. Not trying to make it about me. Just enjoy it while you can :)

kootchi · 1 points · Posted at 16:27:36 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry about your mom. You have a point though, I'll take that as a reminder for myself too. My grandma used to send me voice notes because she lived in another country. I wouldn't prioritize them and sometimes I'd take a day or two to reply. She passed away this summer. I visited her a month before she did, so I'm glad about that. I just wish I texted her more, replied a little faster.

NeilBillAndI · 10 points · Posted at 00:22:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

T h a t f i v E m o n T h w a i t b e t w e e n T E x t s . . .

I think your dad has invented mindfulness texting. I L o v e i t .

meinthebox · 10 points · Posted at 04:22:20 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad is better at the typing part but he signs his texts.

He also will copy the urls of my Facebook posts and then email me the url and his comment about it.

🎙️ katyrose_ · 3 points · Posted at 07:21:23 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

That is the cutest thing I've ever heard!! <3

kootchi · 1 points · Posted at 16:28:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The email thing is adorable :)!

[deleted] · 36 points · Posted at 00:01:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lamb, bro... who has pasta for xmas

NeilBillAndI · 24 points · Posted at 00:23:25 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Italians. D u h .

yourmansconnect · 3 points · Posted at 06:29:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Making a turkey and lasagnia tomorrow. Because food

[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 00:38:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

t o m a t o f a r m e r s

GetsGold · 7 points · Posted at 04:14:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Vegans

Ninja edit: sucks

AutoModerator · 5 points · Posted at 04:15:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Jargle · 7 points · Posted at 03:44:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh, the spaces between letters happens because he was taking too long to find letters on the T9 keypad, so it was auto inserting a space after each letter because it assumed he was done with the word.

[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 00:00:09 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Donotknowwhathappened

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 02:17:03 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AtlasAtlasAtlas · 4 points · Posted at 03:59:18 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I- doooo dooo doo doo doo doo doo

QUEENROLLINS · 3 points · Posted at 04:31:20 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

do you understand it's all in your head

Iridium192 · 13 points · Posted at 02:54:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I have some similar texts from my dad. He learned to text a year or so ago on a flip phone. Since then he got a full hardware keyboard phone.

He passed away last month. I'm saving all his voicemails and texts, and I'll have to preserve them before I get a new phone....

Couch_Attack · 8 points · Posted at 04:07:19 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'm sorry for you loss. Losing my dad was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Hang in there. The pain dulls, and the appreciation of the time you had together grows.

jairom · 7 points · Posted at 00:15:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does your dad listen to music on the ehhhhh Spoofy?

RiotMonster · 7 points · Posted at 04:10:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My mom texts me from her flip phone and it's EXACTLY like that! This hit so close to home. Thanks for posting this, it made me smile thinking about her. Oh, parents!

mittim80 · 10 points · Posted at 00:43:54 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

order p a s t a

order l a m b

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 01:05:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

polishbroadcast · 2 points · Posted at 01:57:03 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yup. I have a friend that still has an old phone and he typed this way because he didn't understand how to use T9.

Happy_llama · 5 points · Posted at 03:01:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad text me like this.

Hey. Son..how are you... Coming to pick you up soon...

He makes himself sound like that depressed robot from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy lol

Peoples_Bropublic · 6 points · Posted at 17:27:32 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pasta/lamb for Christmas? I'm gonna guess you're from an Italian-Lebanese family.

🎙️ katyrose_ · 1 points · Posted at 20:24:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Just Italian! My dad makes the best spaghetti and meatballs

I_Like_Spaghetti · 1 points · Posted at 20:25:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Yum!

HaydnintheHaus · 9 points · Posted at 01:10:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

xmas

Discusting

WaitWhyNot · 1 points · Posted at 11:49:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting

[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 01:19:39 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 01:19:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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Kridgen · 4 points · Posted at 06:09:06 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

aesthetic  as  fuck

_awake · 3 points · Posted at 03:34:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The best part is that you often understand what your mom or dad tries to tell you, even if they write like that!

🎙️ katyrose_ · 2 points · Posted at 07:23:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hahaha yep! The only one I didn't understand was the first one. He explained later that he was trying to tell me to not reply, because it was taking too long for him to text and he didn't want to try to send another.

_awake · 1 points · Posted at 11:19:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've noticed that I also almost have none written messsges by my dad. He sure prepares to call for the same reasons (takes him too long).

gustercc · 3 points · Posted at 04:00:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Viewing this on my phone while on the can. Took me 4 tries of hitting the "back" button to realize I was tapping the one in the screenshot. I've done too much shopping today

BrandyeB · 3 points · Posted at 04:34:31 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My stepdad once took a picture of a hand written note and sent it to me . :) I think it was easier then texting for him.

kona_worldwaker · 3 points · Posted at 16:54:42 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

P r e d i c t i v e t e x t i s w i t h t h e l o r d.n o w

tr3k · 7 points · Posted at 00:20:59 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

P a s t a

sunshine_chauhan · 2 points · Posted at 00:54:50 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Order s p a c e

Dubaku · 2 points · Posted at 01:17:23 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My grandmother does the exact same thing

bakerie · 1 points · Posted at 02:06:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This fucking subreddit stylesheet is a nightmare.

Livingthepunlife · 1 points · Posted at 03:49:18 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hmmmm, needs more randomly generated phrases, I think.

gingerinmypanties · 1 points · Posted at 05:03:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 05:03:50 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

pollietollie · 2 points · Posted at 02:16:51 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pasta? What the fuck is this...? Lamb for Christmas of course!

zexijin · 2 points · Posted at 02:32:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Oh. I'd go with lamb all day. Those're fucking delicious

K-Shrizzle · 2 points · Posted at 02:47:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad is actually pretty good at texting, though he always ends his letter-esque texts with "love, dad".

Yes dad, I know it's you.

Communizmo · 2 points · Posted at 02:54:08 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

T9 is ass

smart phones are ass

i have an 80s phone because im edgy

BaronVonSlapNuts · 2 points · Posted at 03:07:57 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

So did you remember de teste, or what?

Boardathome · 2 points · Posted at 03:09:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

F u c k I n g L a m b

ClassyDitch · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ClassyDitch · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks is with the Lord now

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:04:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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ClassyDitch · 1 points · Posted at 04:06:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks is with the Lord now

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 04:06:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 04:06:10 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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__________-_-_______ · 2 points · Posted at 03:24:52 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your dad needs a blackberry for christmas

beezee1128 · 2 points · Posted at 03:58:41 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

A y y l m a o I m d y i n g I n s I d e

JnnyRuthless · 2 points · Posted at 04:14:49 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is beautiful found poetry.

Detest detest detest

TheMonksAndThePunks · 2 points · Posted at 04:56:34 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll go out on a limb and guess that he turns the phone completely off when not making a call. Does anyone else have aging parents who do this?

Gormetheus · 2 points · Posted at 05:02:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Read the first part of the title not knowing what sub this was posted to. Immediately expected a depressing story. Pleasantly surprised to say the least.

K3TtLek0Rn · 2 points · Posted at 05:50:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad used to do that when he first started texting. Every text would be like C A L L M E. Then he tried t9 and it would be aajj md.

karafrakinthrace · 2 points · Posted at 06:03:05 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My.step.dad.puts.a.period.between.each.word.

sstout2113 · 2 points · Posted at 06:08:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Dude texts like a ransom note.

clungedestroyer5000 · 2 points · Posted at 06:41:17 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Does your dad not text you anymore? Last text was 2 years ago

kirbycrazy33 · 2 points · Posted at 07:02:11 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

v a p o r w a v e

legitretard · 2 points · Posted at 07:51:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Did anyone else tap the top left of the picture to view your 2 unread texts?

YamoB · 2 points · Posted at 08:28:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)
Xentaku · 1 points · Posted at 09:07:42 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I'll have a machaca burrito as well.

YamoB · 1 points · Posted at 09:17:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Looking back at his texts, roughly every third conversation is about him wanting me to get him a burrito.

Xentaku · 1 points · Posted at 09:20:12 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sounds like a true father.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 09:59:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

IanGecko · 2 points · Posted at 17:31:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Italians?

charlesmangrove · 2 points · Posted at 14:41:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Someone should put this into r/keming. I'd do it but I don't know how...

ofsinope · 2 points · Posted at 17:31:38 on December 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad sent me a text to remind me about Mother's Day in 2013.

The next text I got from him was to remind me about Mother's Day in 2014.

Then he started texting a little bit more, but he did still text to remind me about Mother's Day 2015. (I'm 30 years old...)

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 17:31:38 on December 25, 2015 · (Permalink)

Mrery Crhistmas, /u/ofsinope!

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Neocoustic · 2 points · Posted at 08:21:55 on December 26, 2015 · (Permalink)

or d e r c oo rn

rocket_raccon · 2 points · Posted at 02:28:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

It took you 2 years to post this

downtherabbithole- · 1 points · Posted at 01:22:56 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Go with the pasta this year, try something different

Elephantintharoom · 1 points · Posted at 01:53:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Asian parent... Guaranteed

piplh · 1 points · Posted at 02:10:55 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Guy I work with double spaces between each word, what ancient typing class do you take to learn these practices?

RottMaster · 1 points · Posted at 02:34:05 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pasta ? Thats blasphemy

Casemods · 1 points · Posted at 02:40:44 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well at least you know to get him an android phone with voice commamd

DatBowl · 1 points · Posted at 04:00:33 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

And he hasn't talked to you in over 2 years?!

phorensic · 1 points · Posted at 04:01:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This about what my dad is capable of too.

kevsdogg97 · 1 points · Posted at 04:47:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks to suck

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 04:47:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Pro-Patria-Mori · 1 points · Posted at 05:12:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Are the spaces meant to prevent autocorrect from changing the words?

grantbwilson · 1 points · Posted at 05:28:04 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I bet he's one of those "I don't need a fancy smartphone you kids are all wasting your money!!" Guys but then he's also complains "how can you guys text so fast all the time? It's impossible!"

__________________99 · 1 points · Posted at 05:36:42 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who lets their dad use a flip phone in 2013?

X1X15 · 1 points · Posted at 05:55:17 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Pasta or lamb? Are you Greek?

ThachWeave · 1 points · Posted at 06:08:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've gotten texts like this; the spaces between the letters is some kind of formatting bug. If that happens, on top of it the messages are likely to be garbled and incomplete.

Weirdest shit I've ever seen related to that: receiving texts from this one guy, there are spaces between the letters, and eventually one text comes through that's completely unreadable; eventually I figure out that somehow, a random snippet of characters has been grabbed from one of his earlier texts (starting midway through one word, and ending midway through another), and instead of putting spaces between the letters, the phone has put that snippet of characters between EVERY SINGLE LETTER. That then continued to happen for every text he sent me after that, for about a week.

asharwood · 1 points · Posted at 06:11:34 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

D e f P a s t a

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:19:35 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Your Dad gets an A for effort.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:43:53 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

d e a l s t o d a y A n y g o o d

murrfffeeee · 1 points · Posted at 06:48:37 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Hope you picked lamb.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 06:59:29 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Automoderator is with the lord

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a mod over 100 subreddits, and I have over 300 confirmed removals of comments. I am trained in the moderation of subreddits and I’m in the top 50 moderators on stattit. You are nothing to me but just another low effort troll. I will wipe your comments the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of power-users across r/modtalk[1] and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ban, maggot. The ban that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking finished, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can track you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from the comfort of my mom's basement. Not only am I extensively trained in moderation, but I have access to the entirety of Reddit mods and I will use that to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of all the defaults, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “comment” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn user. I will jizz comment removals all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking unfunny, kiddo.

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WorstHuman · 1 points · Posted at 07:06:45 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Check your messages, man.

badbatch · 1 points · Posted at 07:11:31 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I've been laughing uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Thanks.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:12:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Automoderator is with the lord

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a mod over 100 subreddits, and I have over 300 confirmed removals of comments. I am trained in the moderation of subreddits and I’m in the top 50 moderators on stattit. You are nothing to me but just another low effort troll. I will wipe your comments the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of power-users across r/modtalk[1] and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ban, maggot. The ban that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking finished, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can track you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from the comfort of my mom's basement. Not only am I extensively trained in moderation, but I have access to the entirety of Reddit mods and I will use that to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of all the defaults, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “comment” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn user. I will jizz comment removals all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking unfunny, kiddo.

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:13:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Automoderator is with the lord

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a mod over 100 subreddits, and I have over 300 confirmed removals of comments. I am trained in the moderation of subreddits and I’m in the top 50 moderators on stattit. You are nothing to me but just another low effort troll. I will wipe your comments the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of power-users across r/modtalk[1] and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ban, maggot. The ban that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking finished, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can track you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from the comfort of my mom's basement. Not only am I extensively trained in moderation, but I have access to the entirety of Reddit mods and I will use that to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of all the defaults, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “comment” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn user. I will jizz comment removals all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking unfunny, kiddo.

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[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 07:17:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

[deleted]

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:17:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like sucks

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:17:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My deepest sypmathies for your loss.

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:17:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

harry potter

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AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 07:17:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Automoderator is with the lord

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I'm a mod over 100 subreddits, and I have over 300 confirmed removals of comments. I am trained in the moderation of subreddits and I’m in the top 50 moderators on stattit. You are nothing to me but just another low effort troll. I will wipe your comments the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Reddit, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of power-users across r/modtalk[1] and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the ban, maggot. The ban that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your account. You’re fucking finished, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can track you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just from the comfort of my mom's basement. Not only am I extensively trained in moderation, but I have access to the entirety of Reddit mods and I will use that to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of all the defaults, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “comment” was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn user. I will jizz comment removals all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking unfunny, kiddo.

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Eddiextreme · 1 points · Posted at 08:11:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The spaces between the letters mean they used an emoji that your iPhone doesn't recognize. I learned this from my sister who didn't have an iPhone and she sent me emojis.

leova · 1 points · Posted at 09:08:14 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

the s p a c i n g makes me thing he goes to bowling alleys a lot
if you put your name as 1 word it only shows the 1st letter
ben shows as b
b e n shows as ben

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 10:07:03 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I vote lamb :)

pm_me_hedgehogs · 1 points · Posted at 10:20:40 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is really cute. My mum has some strange texts too, but I have a new phone and none of her gems are on it yet

hannibalhooper14 · 1 points · Posted at 14:06:39 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

The only text ever sent from my Grandmother's (70y/o) flip phone is me sending a text to myself to show her how texting works.

andrewq · 3 points · Posted at 15:49:27 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My 98 YO grandmother has been online since the 1970s, as my grandfather worked for DARPA.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:53:02 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I hope you chose the lamb

Feldew · 1 points · Posted at 15:51:32 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

H e ' s i m p r o v i n g I g u e s s

shac_melley · 1 points · Posted at 15:56:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Never forget de teste

snerdie · 1 points · Posted at 17:14:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

My dad just got his first smartphone after using a flip phone for the last 10 years. It has dictation enabled texting. Results have been predictably hilarious.

AutoModerator · 1 points · Posted at 17:14:26 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sorry to hear lol

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QuiteRadical · 1 points · Posted at 18:09:48 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well, lamb, obviously.

Pickle_Pants5 · 1 points · Posted at 18:27:43 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

a s t h e t i c t e x t s

22542975664467-fdfyy · 1 points · Posted at 18:39:00 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Well‽ Don't leave us hanging, bro. Did you choose the pasta or the lamb?

GarrisonFjord · 1 points · Posted at 19:09:54 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

I know an old guy who I buy drugs from who does the spaces. I think it's a flip phone thing. Although when I had a flip phone I never had that problem.

dandaman0345 · 1 points · Posted at 06:03:49 on February 13, 2016 · (Permalink)

That second text is exactly what I text my dealer when I'm drunk.

Just subscribed, so I'm just going to roll with the rest of my comment without asking.

DingleBoone · 1 points · Posted at 22:28:22 on May 9, 2016 · (Permalink)

Wow, you are very patient

TheAdventMaster · 1 points · Posted at 21:03:11 on June 15, 2016 · (Permalink)

Makes sense to me. Guessing his phone had some sort of type prediction? Probably bugged the hell out of him.

AssortedNuts · 1 points · Posted at 01:12:01 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

This is mildly infuriating

sexierthanhisbrother · 6 points · Posted at 01:21:22 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

no this is old people facebook

Livingthepunlife · 1 points · Posted at 03:48:46 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

no this is Patrick

just_taste_it · 1 points · Posted at 00:26:38 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Lamb!

Invokationz · 1 points · Posted at 05:18:58 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

my father used to text me via flip phone.

every since he left the city

meiso · 1 points · Posted at 15:34:24 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

How the fuck is this Facebook?

underdog_rox · 0 points · Posted at 05:44:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Sucks

AutoModerator · 2 points · Posted at 05:44:15 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

discusting language. i don't want my little fuzzy bunny milk monkey using words like Sucks

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elpololoco9 · 0 points · Posted at 09:12:54 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

Who eats Pasta for christmas?

hattorihanso · 0 points · Posted at 10:17:30 on December 24, 2015 · (Permalink)

pasta for christmas? youre very classy