A lot of them double as a social space for church events, a lot of them also have a stage on one end for plays and shit.
Saint947 ยท -34 points ยท Posted at 19:52:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for plays and shit.
Like when they re-enact creation in the garden of Eden, with the story narrated by Satan. Google their temple ceremonies, it's nothing short of a cult.
I was a mormon for 19 years (atheist now for 8), and I never encountered anything like that. If it happens, it's nothing I was ever exposed to. I also never felt like I was in a cult. I feel like I had a pretty normal childhood. Leaving the church was easy, I just stopped going.
Just saying, you never got to the crazy shit cause you left early.
Saint947 ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 20:07:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's part of their marriage ceremonies.
Look it up, it is very well documented nowadays.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I don't know why you're being down voted (at least for this comment). It's a strange religion, but the people are generally sane, they just get sucked into the narrative as with any religion I suppose.
He's likening your statement to telling a crackhead to just stop smoking crack. It goes without saying and is, generally, a dismissive and useless suggestion.
Except he's bitching about how he hates Reddit.. on Reddit. And the comparison is to a debilitating disease that consumes you entirely against your will. Not even close man
I'm well versed on it. I went to a high school that actually had a Mormon seminary attached to it, where about 30% of the 5000 students would go and take classes for public school credit.
I know much more about that world than you, and I can assure you, it's very much crazy.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, "release time" was essentially a free period with no credit given. The "credit" was church credit towards the seminary program graduation. If you got an A in all your classes and an F in seminary, your high school transcript would still show a 4.0.
I went to Gilbert high school and I'm embarrassed to see it's name come up this way. You act like because Mormonism is crazy to you, that it is actually affecting you. It's not, so why so harsh about it? I might even know you personally, tone it down man you're not being attacked.
In 2008. I think there were 4,500 graduating. It was the year where we got rained on while doing the ceremony on the football field. I actually bought a house one mile from the high school. It's weird that it feels like yesterday still.
I was there in 2005, joined the Air Force and moved to Tokyo.
I still miss that area so much sometimes- I was a lifeguard at Sunsplash for my last two years there and it was the happiest time of my life! Lifeguard parties every weekend, hella chicks every day.
You can bet Sunsplash / Golfland are still as popular as ever. One of my graduating buddies also joined the forces and was stationed at Tokyo for awhile. I went a little bit of a different route, I've got a 5 (almost 6) year old boy, settled in Gilbert, and am doing government IT work. Should you come back, let me buy you a beer for your service.
I discovered this a few years ago. My friend is Mormon and took me to a few churches. Bomb ass basketball court at the center of all of them. It's crazy.
Being raised Mormon but also being god awful at sports all those obligatory churchball games were some of the most dreaded experiences of my adolescence
Afa1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a "court" with a carpeted floor? I've played in a few Christian churches that have a carpeted bball court, I assume so they could have other events.
I was kind of terrified I was going to break an ankle or blow a knee, but I never got hurt and neither did anyone else. Maybe it's not as bad of an idea as it seems.
Afa1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:08 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's an actual basket ball court with wood floor. That sounds slippery though
UJ95x ยท 1292 points ยท Posted at 16:16:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true. I wonder why he didn't get any serious run on the Knicks given the fact that they were going exactly nowhere. Then again, Kurt Rambis is an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:16 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He refused to be a role player and demanded control
Pisses me off because I was a huge Jimmer fan when he was tearing the league up. I shouted Jimmer when ever I shot a basket when everybody else was saying Kobe and they were like who is that. I was in 6th grade and Jimmer was the first college basketball player I was a fan of
I wasn't tuned into the Knicks season in January and was interested in seeing how he could do but I just don't understand how a team going nowhere didn't at least want to see if he could contribute anything.
Kids are still doing that these days? I remember when I was growing up in the 90's, we'd all shout 'JORDAN' after shooting a jumper but didn't know that trend continued with the newer players.
It's not a joke. It's a true advantage. You have more physically and mentally mature players.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but not really though. I know that's hard to believe, but once you hit college age and college level everyone is working out and practicing so much that it really doesn't make a big difference. In some ways the older guys are even disadvantaged.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:24:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyy, UConn fans we out here! Hope Denver is treating you well bro
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking a bowl, friends about to come over for some 2k16
yeah its good.
Was crazy when Uconn played Colorado in the NCAA, I was working at BWW as a server (still there but now a cook) during that game. Lets just say they all my coworkers/our guests got cocky in the first half, like they didn't know Uconn was a 2nd half team.
I got a couple bad tips cause i was showing off my Uconn tattoo that day but didn't care
Remember that one game he played for the knicks? He nailed a three and the crowd went wild. And then since he fucks at defense he got dusted four straight possessions and was sent back to d league
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still embarrassed I bought his all-black Kings jersey.
I never understood the jimmer hype. He was really good for the MWC (which is why he ended up being the top scorer in the NCAA his senior year) but he was really not that great of a player. He was the 10th overall pick in the 2011 draft, had very minor success (but still inexplicable popularity) with some of the NBAs worst teams and has since been dropped down to the minor leagues without ever really doing anything. Hardly what you'd expect from the National Player of The Year his senior year at BYU.
I went to 3 games his senior year and watched him play from about 6 rows back. I still don't get the hype. He was only good relative the rest of the MWC which was so shitty at the time, BYU actually just up and left.
Lol at the people downvoting me who idolize a minor league nobody all because he was popular in his college years.
Mitz510 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:07:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is/was garbage in the NBA. The Kings took Jimmer with their lottery pick and Isaiah Thomas with the 60th pick the same draft. Guess who got the most playing time and which one made an All Star game 3-4 seasons later?
Not talking about his NBA career. His college career was phenomenal at BYU, you can't deny that.
Mitz510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't watch college sports but I remember hearing about him being a good scorer which did not transfer to the NBA at all. His NBA career has been lackluster and you can't deny that.
That's because all the really tall and athletic guys play on their volleyball team instead. And BYU mens volleyball really is ridiculous how good they are. We just played a fun match with them once since we were at the same tournament and are sort of rival schools and they murdered us with ease.
I've been to a couple of LDS churches (my friend is Mormon) and they both had immaculate hardwood basketball courts. Basketball is literally the center of the church.
Same seems to go for religious schools. I went to a catholic school for a year and everyone there spent recess playing basketball (the yard was huge and there was a baseball field and soccer field too), every grade would be playing basketball in their little sweatervests and shit. They were some of the best casual players ive seen too.
Yeah, even in Mexico where I live, all the Mormon churches have a beautiful basketball court and some have an indoor soccer one. I used to play with them when I was kid and those guys always destroyed us, in both soccer and basket.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:25 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon church leagues are second only, in my experience, to California street courts in terms of realness.
It's not really fair, my Mormon friend's church had a basketball court inside it. And they're at the church multiple times a week. Of course the kids are gonna get good at basketball.
There was a joke that you never go camping with just one Morman because they will drink all your beer. Idea being if there was another Mormon present they would stick to their morals and abstain.
That's hilarious! All the mormon girls I went to HS with would do all manner of nasty things at parties then went to BYU and got married after graduation.
Because mormon's are pretty serious about not having sex before marriage. They get married young so they can have sex. A LOT of girls get married as freshman. A LOT.
A lot of people say this, and half the time it's true but also, Mormons put a lot of emphasis on the importance of family. Family is like the central part of the religion so getting married is like another step in their faith.
IIRC, it's because the boys come back from serving their conversion mission abroad but are still technically "freshman" and they're looking to start a family bc they're 24, 25
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:26 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days the Mormon missionary boys are 18 and 19. So they are normally between 20-21 when they come home and face lots of pressure to get married soon.
As a Mormon myself, I can hopefully shed some light on the question.
To us, marriage is an ordinance similar in importance to baptism. If you're not getting married, you're not spiritually progressing. I myself felt a need to get married, especially when I started spending time with my wife of 3 months.
By the way, I'm from Las Vegas, she's from Iowa. We both served missions and got married at the age of 23, 1 month before her graduation at BYU.
I was Mormon until I was 25, and you cannot even pretend that it isn't about sex. At least 95% of the time Mormons getting married very young and rushed engagements and marriages are absolutely about sex.
[deleted] ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 18:19:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who transferred from BYU. She said the girls dorm beds were all extra high off the ground, and the rule was a guy had to have both feet on the floor at all times while in the room.
Though a double foot amputee could just throw his prosthetics on the floor and jump in the sack with all the horn deprived but most importantly technically- rule following morman girls.
And then you marry all of them, right?
I've got a plan, anyone got a hacksaw, or I guess even a dremel?
These girls pay $4,000+ a semester to live in these closets with beds in the firstplace. And they go and make it even more uncomfortable by raising the bed height up for no actual purpose whatsoever (though I guess the giant-dicked-sleep-raping-south African leprechauns at least.)
I mean really, I can see some of those naiviety-world championship winning Mormon dumbasses sitting around at an emergency meeting
"They keep having sex what will we do?"
"(This Bullshit bed shit)"
"Oh wow, that's amazing. Nobody is going to have even a little button sex this year."
Holy shit same story about the only Mormon girl that went to my high school. Cali to BYU then married freshman year. Didn't even know this was a stereotype but it's looking pretty accurate.
Catholic I feel has always been an overstatement. Maybe in the states it's different where catholic schools aren't usually state funded (correct me if I'm wrong). In Canada they are and the girls aren't really any different from the public schools. I was in the catholic system myself, so maybe I'm overestimating the public school girls?
Depends on the type of Catholic? White devoted catholic girls who are kinda crazy in the head always do some real freaky shit.
grubas ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:56:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having been to a few weird religious weddings(the family/their hometown was crazy, they had run away from it). There was always a table of girls like age 20 weeping that they'd never get married and die old. My gf and I went to one a few months back and they thought us not being married was some weird, "European thing".
I'm 22 and iv never had anything more than oral, and never been in a relationship, doesn't bother me, glad I'm. Not a Mormon, they only go crazy because they view it as forbidden. In sure if sex had been taboo for me I would have been more inclined to do it.
I'm 20 been in a relationship since 1 year and a half and I'm virgin, I'm catholic so I don't gonna have sex till I'm married I don't really want to do it and Is not like it's a prohibition, Catholic dogma is so open even if you sin they forgive you so maybe that's why a lot of catholics do a lot of shift
gun-nut ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there is nothing faster than a BYU girl putting her shirt back on after she finds out you drink mountain dew.
gun-nut ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:57:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon doctrine says no coffee or tea, some people think it is because of the caffeine in those drinks. So Mormon dogma says anyone drinking anything with caffeine is a bad person. BYU Mormons are stereotypicaly hypocritical. so the girl doesn't think shes a bad person for taking her shirt off for a guy but she thinks the guy is bad because he drinks mt.dew and doesn't deserve to see her without her shirt
We are actually allowed to drink coffee and caffeinated beverages, I'm not sure when it started but I know for sure it's okay. I'm not very into religion but I've been sworn into the temple and know some of the rules.
gun-nut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean yeah you can drink whatever you want but it is church doctrine that the"hot drinks" prohibited in the word of wisdoms (D&C 89:9) refer specifically to tea and coffee if you don't believe me ask your Bishop.
Edit: but you are right on the caffeinated drinks thing and it's up to your own interpretation I for example will absolutely destroy a jamocha shake from Arbies and not feel guilty about it so to each his own.
Also a good tip for finding the good hooch at a black or redneck bbq. ok, actually, a good tip for any social function in the south. Weddings, bbqs, funerals, etc.
Speaking from experience, find the lady of the house and ask her. When hosting a bbq you're obligated to provide the cheapest beer you cam tolerate for when people run out of the stuff they brought
Just got back from a funeral the other day where probably 1/3 of the attendees were getting blitzed out of a trunk cooler. True southern stereotype is true.
While drinking at a funeral doesn't usually involve the merriment and singing of an irish wake, many people use alcohol to help them cope with their feelings of grief, or even to help loosen them up and enjoy stories about good times with the departed.
The famous New Orleans funeral procession is believed to have roots in African funeral traditions involving celebration.
A specific example of Yoruba tradition:
Ojo Isinku: During Ojo Isinku, the family collects money from relatives to buy gin and food for all the funeral guests. The first public ceremony is a spectacle of play and dance. Musicians are hired to accompany the relatives of the deceased around town as they sing and dance in honor of the family. The more play taking place throughout the village shows the social importance of the deceased. Therefore, the more play the higher the status.
We fish too much. I'm Mormon, and on a backpacking trip a few years ago we stripped down to our undies, jumped in the river, and went mulleting.
We caught something like 43 fish with our bare hands, which we grilled with a grill we took from the stake president and used his pancake batter for breading.
Friend used to run a strip club and whenever Hasidic Jews showed up they always asked "are there any others like me inside" if the answer was yes they do a 180 and don't enter.
Everyone knows the wildly rich and famous are asexual.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:54:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I've been doing it all wrong! I thought that my asexuality was preventing me from fucking my way to the top of the food chain!
neS- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you do don't start edging. I used to beat off with the goal of finishing quick as possible. So I could beat off a million times in a day, but it really wouldn't waste much time. However once I started edging and really MILKING that dick, a normal orgasm doesn't do it for me. I need to have at least one mega orgasm now, or else I'm just not satisfied. It always ends the same, with me finishing after like 30 minutes, realizing I spent almost half an hour doing nothing but beating my dick. Only to do it again in an hour.
Only Mormons would be naive enough to pay for porn. Maybe they think if some of the money makes it back to the girl having fifteen guys cum in her ass, it won't be such a sin.
cjackc ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:55:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly they tend to be great at half court basketball, when they are on their mission and other times they are not allowed to play full court, so they get really good at playing with one basket.
it might be due to many churches having a single basketball goal in the parking next to some sort of gym used as a church building. hence the skill at half court ball
[deleted] ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, growing up as a mormon, I've never EVER been to a LDS church that didn't have an indoor basketball court. Even if it was just a half-court. No matter how poor that specific church was, always an indoor court..
I grew up Methodist and our churches always had a "youth" building which was a separate place for the kids and teens to go during services. It was usually a basketball gym with a few rooms for small groups. I would assume that was common for most denominations. At the very least a parking lot goal would be present.
Nah, growing up with a lot of religious friends and having weekend sleepovers where I went to their church Sunday morning with them, the only friend whose church had any recreational facilities was the LDS church. The church we went to when I was about 10-12 had a playground suitable for really small children, but that's the next closest thing I ever saw. Of course, times have been changing; I'm 35 and the youth group movement was only starting to really take off when I was a teenager. Maybe they're more popular now, or maybe you lived in a more populated or wealthier area than I did.
There was a Catholic church in my city that was a basketball court. It was a super old building in an atea that hadn't been residential in a long time so they ripped out the pews and did CYO games there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:36 on October 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
basketball goal
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 100% about the missionaries getting injured running up and down the court
zeroUSA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is to prevent injuries. The less long running you do, picking up speed, etc., the less likely you are to roll an ankle or trip. This is what was told to me on my mission and is the reason. to cut down time do to injuries and save insurance money. The same reason applies to swimming. It's not that you might see half naked people like you might hear, but has more of to do with preventing drownings and other injuries. Most missionaries wouldn't be swimming in the best of pools or supervised in non US countries.
I don't have the stats handy, but I'm guessing less than 1/20 plays is a full court fast break. So they're good at 95% of basketball, and it's not like it's mind blowing to figure out the rest
Mormons tend (on average) to be in higher income brackets than the average american. More disposable income means access to better sports programs, especially earlier in life. Then later in adolecence, more disposable income means income available for club/travel level teams and even better coaches and what not. Also, mormons are definitely allowed to use the internet and mormon boys definitely beat their meat as much as anybody else (maybe more since they aren't allowed to fuck), they just tell everybody they don't.
That's quite common actually, but overall, mormons are more likely to be in the middle to upper middle salary range (around $100k/year) than the average american and they are also less likely to be in the <$30k/year range compared to the average american. Oddly enough though, they are just baaaaaareely less likely to be in >$100k/year range.
Wow that's upper middle class? My mom gain more than that even with 50% cutoff bc of the house, and we're Mexicans(live in Tijuana, 5 miles from San Diego) I didn't know that me an my mom could have a good life in SD with her actual salary
San Diego is a fairly expensive city so it would be more of an exception (you'd want to make at least $70k/year to live comfortably in San Diego), but yes. $40k would probably be the lower end of middle class in most of the US and $100k/year or so would definitely be upper middle class in most of America.
You're talking about the very very top echelon of players. That's not a level of skill that disposable income can get you because that requires natural talent. The best individual players may not be mormons, but mormons as a group will dominate that "really good but not phenomenal" skill level because that's the skill level that paying good coaches can actually buy. Also those inner city kids that grow up to be the phenoms, tend to have all the same camps and travel teams and what not, it's just usually paid for by other organizations or people that have recognized their natural talent and are helping them along the way. There aren't any "walk ons" coming straight from streetball straight to the NBA. They get noticed and groomed to be the phenom they hope to be.
Mormon youth (12-18) go to "youth group" one a week and 75% of the time it is sports related whether it's a basketball in the gym that every church building has or some made up sport or relay race.
Boys and girls in that same age bracket all get to go on regular camping trips throughout the year cost free. Church activities are always free and there is financial aid available for those who don't have the income to spend. There are only 2 camping trips a year(one for girls, one for boys) that costs money.
Granted, yes, some Mormon families may have money, but we also just play sports a lot and when we do it as an activity and have fun with it, it just makes us better players.
Live in Utah, non-Mormon but this is the reason. "Mormon league
" basketball is rough and they play hard. I've taken more than one elbow to the face from a good Mormon guy!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being from low-income probably fuels the number of hours those kids put into basketball. They don't go to after-school clubs or go to summer camps. They just play basketball until it gets dark.
That is actually not correct. Players that actually make it tend to have more money than average and a higher percentage come from 2 parent homes as opposed to single parent homes. It is just the "rags to riches" stories are better than "upper middle class person from 2 parent family" stories, so you hear and remember them more.
Unless you're part giant and grow up to be Shaq, you gotta hustle to be good too. If Kobe had Shaq's work ethic, he'd have been playing in Europe instead of dominating the NBA.
Because a well-off smart kid who happens to be pretty good at sports has a range of options. If you're poor and good at basketball, that might be your only option so you're going to focus on that. If you have the choice of maybe getting to the NBA or almost certainly becoming a doctor or lawyer, you're more likely to go for the safe bet.
Not true, Mormons are slightly above average in income. There are some very rich Mormons, but not much more than the overall population.
Second, what makes people good at sports is a culture that supports it. That's why the black community excels at basketball and football, because it's a big part of the community.
It's not just the income. Sure, there are some rich Mormon kids that go to special camps and such (eg Jabari Parker), but they typically excel because they all have access to sports facilities in the buildings they meet in twice a week (or more). Also, youth leaders encourage youth to participate in sports, scouts, and extra curricular activities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has a devout 20yro Catholic I must say that there are a lot of hypocrites
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons tend (on average) to be in higher income brackets than the average american. More disposable income means access to better sports programs, especially earlier in life. Then later in adolecence, more disposable income means income available for club/travel level teams and even better coaches and what not. Also, mormons are definitely allowed to use the internet and mormon boys definitely beat their meat as much as anybody else (maybe more since they aren't allowed to fuck), they just tell everybody they don't.
Well, that explains why mormons dominate in the NBA
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor people are better at sports. Kods always playing outside bc no wii.
If agree with this, minus the internet. Mormons are ingrained with an unhealthy fear that everyone is out to destroy Mormonism, and the internet has largely been hijacked for that purpose.
Most other people would just call it the exchange of information.
I grew up in a community that was 90% mormon. I've known thousands upon thousands of mormons in different communities across the country. I have never met a single one who had any kind of fear for the internet itself. Internet porn maybe, but not the internet as a concept. I've also never seen any examples of a generalized fear that people are "out to destroy the church". It might be community specific but I'm inclined to think that you may be misinterpreting things.
I grew up 100% Mormon, and can tell you that the church most certainly does ingrain a fear of the internet. It's the modern-day printing press, and it's fucking wrecking the church. THey have had to release apologetic essays admitting things like
Joseph Smith was a pedophile
The Book of Mormon was translated with a rock
The early Mormons were murderously violent
Joseph Smith married dozens of women
More than half of the prophets were mislead in banning blacks while denying any knowledge of why it was even there (spoiler: Brigham Young was racist)
The church secretly, willingly, and knowingly ignored U.S. law and continued polygamy until at least 1904
Joseph Smith told an evolving, changing story of how he met God
The Book of Abraham (an exclusively Mormon scripture) is complete crap
There is no genetic evidence of Lamanites (a race of Hebrew Native Americans who's numbers were in the millions 2,000 years ago) whatsoever.
Al of these and a crap ton more because people started doing research. The LDS church is scared of the internet, and really only encourages it's use for things that don't fit their narrative, which means a ton of normal uses of the internet get cut out.
More disposable income means access to better sports programs....more disposable income means income available for club/travel level teams and even better coaches and what not
I heard my college coach say a number of times "I don't recruit kids from houses with 3 car garages", there's a ton of truth to that. Rich kids are soft as fuck. There is no doubt a strong correlation between guys who make it to the NBA/NFL/MLB and grew up in a very low income household. You're a fool if you think it's the opposite.
Sure rich school districts have better funded sports programs, we're not talking about an organized sport. It's 2 on 2 pickup bball, you're saying the advantage goes to rich white kids, you went full retard son.
Go tell literally any hockey player that. 90% of them come from stable families with decent income, and they are as tough as athletes get. Talking about "hard" NBA players is a good joke though. The military also has a higher than median income for recruits.
a """""""sport"""""" played by solely white people
And enough with the hockey players are tough meme please. There's like a handful of big hits a game, and they allow you to fight (which only the shitty players do) and that doesn't happen very often. If they allowed NFL players to fight people would be throwing down virtually every drive and it'd be a hell of a lot more brutal
A much more violent and tougher sport than the ones you listed.
There are also quite a few black hockey players now. It's pretty much restricted to wealthy people because of a few reasons. It's hard to find good ice in the south, and the equipment is expensive as shit if you want to actually play the game. It's also a hell of a lot easier to put up a few courts in the inner city than it is to build and maintain a hockey rink.
Jarome Iginla's father was a lawyer as an example.
First, I don't really care about what you think of my opinion since you seem to be a barely literate racist idiot. Maybe someone reading this might find it entertaining though.
I played football in the SEC, and I will say that what I see in hockey players is far more impressive than anything I saw in football.
Yes, there are generally bigger hits in football. However, football players aren't doing it for 82 games every year. Chris Chelios played professional hockey until he was 47 years old. That's legendary toughness. Hell, I just watched a guy suit up, skate onto the ice, and hoist the Stanley cup after breaking his ankle a week before. Compare that with what guys in the NBA do any time someone touches them. There are tough bastards in all sports. Hockey requires it though.
I played football in the SEC, and I will say that what I see in hockey players is far more impressive than anything I saw in football.
^ lol. nothing more needs to be said about that point but
The fact someone can play until they're 47 is a testament to it not being tough. You cannot play in the NFL until you're 47, it is too tough and you will not make it alive.
There is no doubt a strong correlation between guys who make it to the NBA/NFL/MLB and grew up in a very low income household. You're a fool if you think it's the opposite.
I'm actually going to believe this comment because it has actual data and science. Unless you have a source to prove your claim, I'm going to think you're the fool instead.
Not talent, skill. Skill can be taught, and better skills are bought by buying better coaches.
Sawl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries are not allowed to use the internet for anything other than LDS.org . These are clearly missionaries in the picture which is why that's what was stated.
All sports. They always crush it in intramurals, football, basketball, etc.
Because they're not allowed to talk to girls or use the internet.
I must have missed the part where missionaries are allowed to play on intramural sports teams. I must have also missed the part where missionaries aren't allowed to talk to girls now. FOH
Sawl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it might not be as obvious to an outsider what he was inferring. But yeah anyways that shits fucked up. Can't believe I ever used to be mormon. Shits hella toxic to the world.
What the hell makes you think the dude saying they can't use the internet wasn't "an outsider"? How could you possibly assume he's making those kind of implications? Also, what makes you think I'm an "outsider"? You're making a whoooole lot of assumptions.
Sawl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:49:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never said anyone was an outsider. Just said how it might seem to someone not familiar with the culture. You are awfully upset over nothing. Go for a nice walk and take a hot shower.
Again, what makes you think I'm upset? You need to seriously take a minute and consider what's making you make all of these crazy assumptions. Also, I am very familiar with mormon culture for what it's worth.
Sawl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down bro. Life goes on. I repent my sins to you. Please forgive my ignorance.
I used to work at a company that would play softball against some of the other companies in the area. There was a local Amish team that would crush everyone. Mercy rule basically every time. I guess they didn't have distractions of the internet and, y'know, electricity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Amish walk an average 11 Mike's a day. Most people get an average 1-3
I coach in a high population Mormon area and some of our best athletes are Mormon. No hate on them, either. Growing up they were always super nice and genuinely good people for the most part.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school football team went to a Mormon town to play an exhibition game and they chartered us for the evening. We lost. 46-7. They ball hard with Jesus y'all, the after party had so much pop I was feeling wobbly from the diabetes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now your know why Mormons are so damn happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Organized sports can rarely guarantee there won't be any games or practices on Sundays.
I know a guy who, while not a stand-out stud, had scholarship offers for D1 basketball programs. He didn't get one from BYU, and all the other teams had Sunday games so he just didn't play NCAA ball.
Crushed it in intramurals though. Absolutely crushed it.
This happened to me once while we were playing wiffle ball! They came up and asked to play and proceeded to whoop our asses! Immediately after they started giving us their Jesus spiel. Crazy!
It keeps the competitiveness toned down since it's not as fun (and you run less).
On my mission, President was a big softy for sports so he allowed full court. Couple guys went home early for torn ACLs. Church ball is serious business.
Yeah they can be. Every mission has a little bit different flavor, but for the most part, they stick to the same rules.
The missionary training center (MTC) that I went to in Utah (there are others all over the world) for about two weeks has the strictest rules. I believe they like to set a tone for your mission. Plus it's a lot easier to tone down when you get to the field than it would be to tone up the rules partway through.
A common rule example I can think of would be music. The handbook just talks about the music being Christ centered and spiritually uplifting. Some missions take that to mean basically Mormon Tabernacle or classical music with no singers exclusively. Before I got to my mission we had an exclusive list of albums that were approved. By the time I got there, President just trusted us to read the section on music and figure it out ourselves.
Even within the rules, you just need to figure it out yourself sometimes. I lived in a duplex right on a busy street. If one of us stood behind the car to reverse out like the rules said, we'd get rear ended waiting for the backer to get back in the car most days. Kinda like when David asked a priest for some of the holy bread from the Temple (not meant to be a meal) because him and his men hadn't eaten in a while. The priest gave it to them because it was the common sense thing.
Anyway, that was probably longer than you were asking for, I just like talking about my mission.
I hate missionary music. Everyone I lived with played the same few albums of psudo-spiritual songs, every day, for 2 years. I just wanted to read during lunch, or pre-study time, or night time, but most of the time I couldn't, because other missionaries loved their noise.
I didn't really bring much music because I don't use many CDs. Whatever my companion had was what we heard. Only one played his at all times, my step-trainer. He had an interesting perception of what was Christ centered, too.
What was your favorite book you read back on the mission?
Nibley talks about other ancient rituals found in ancient texts, and what some of their symbolism meant, but only mentions the stuff of interest to us. Like how the creation story is a common part of ancient temples, or a text where Jesus had a prayer circle with his Apostles and their wives during his 40 day ministry.
Oh yeah, I believe I read that one. I remember learning that first part, I don't remember that second part. Guess it is time for a re-read in the near future.
Actually, a lot of these rules seem like decent guidelines to live by, with the exception of the dress code and basically never speaking to the opposite sex.
I think those rules are only for when you're acting as a missionary, not just life rules. Not all of those are bad rules, they want you go get a proper 8 hour rest which is good I guess, but some of the others are a way out there.
Not sure, but probably means don't disparage someone else's culture, like speak negatively about a certain religion or they way someone dresses. Maybe just be super passive aggressive?
That's not true, we play full court soccer in my mission. It was in Guatemala, so the outside court was both for basketball and soccer. But yes, we played half court basketball.
No. Before going on their mission all Missionaries go to a place called MTC, or Mission Training Center. It's in Utah (probably obvious). There they are trained for a couple weeks before being sent out to wherever they go for the duration of their mission.
Could you explain more about how this whole process works? If your allowed, not personally interested in being Mormon or anything, just interested in the process of how it works. What are the rules? What's the training? How do tbh decide where to send you? Where do you stay for your mission ect
Sure! Your mission location depends on your family's dedicatable income, so they aren't going to send someone across the world if the family can't support the journey. It also depends on your knowledge. If you are already fluent in German they will send you to a German language based country usually. I didn't personally go on a mission since I came to the church at 20 years old so I don't know too much about the actual process or training at MTC. I know from speaking to my ward's missionaries that its a fun process with lots of studying on not om church and bible related stuff, but also how to approach people for the best results and how to stay safe. They are advised against going to random areas and ringing door bells since missionaries have been abducted and killed doing as such. Now they work mostly on referrals from current church members.
The cost is actually the same for everyone and the money is distributed to different missions as needed. Where you go is completely up to inspiration and any knowledge of a language.
ebmoney ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
96 Do not write to the President of the Church or to other General Authorities. Letters from missionaries to General Authorities are referred back to the mission president (There are no checks, balances, or appeals when it comes to the authority of the mission president).
Oh, ok then.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ their lives are like something out of the give I was expecting them to start listing approved colors. But seriously I find it hilarious that there's a specific rule permitting half court basketball as the only acceptable sport.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
brining an investigator.
Was that meant to be "bringing", or are they pickling someone?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many rules to make life boring
plarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, I never thought about searching for the rules for missionaries. But now that that you posted them, I thought about the Book of Mormon musical.
Without spoiling it much, one of the characters abandons his companion and sings about breaking rule 72 (don't rise before your companion), but I guess they really meant rule 62 (be loyal to your companion).
Also, rule 72 seems to be a potential source of problems, similar to a game of chicken. What if neither of both missionaries wants to arise because his companion hasn't risen yet?
LOL I played church ball once and I suck at basketball, I thought it was gonna be a chill game then this 6 foot 4 monster ripped the ball out of what I thought was a firm grip one handed and slam dunked it, made me look like a bitch. I got taken out of the game and they didn't let me play again hahaha
Haha well this guy was also pretty jacked. But that's still pretty tall compared to most people.
netmier ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:44:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's Mormons, the lack of refs is key. My family is LDS and those fuckers play DIRTY basketball. My grandma tried to teach me how to elbow without the ref catching me and my uncles we're proud of how many chops and shoves they could get away with.
Don't play basketball with Mormons if you're not ready to get roughed up.
Once a week, typically on Mondays. But yes, when they're on their missions they're not supposed to be distracted by their families or friends and are supposed to be doing their work.
Write to your family each week on preparation day. Limit correspondence with others. Share your spiritual experiences. Never include anything confidential, sensitive, or negative about the areas where you serve.
...
You may communicate with your family and mission president by e-mail, according to approved guidelines. Use only MyLDSMail.net, the filtered service established by the Church. Do not use any other e-mail service or any other Internet service or site that has not been authorized.
...
If you misuse e-mail or computers, you may lose the privilege of using e-mail.
As your call letter states, you are โexpected to devote all your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs.โ Do not become preoccupied with communicating with family and friends. Except as outlined under โFamily Members and Friendsโ (see p. 37), you should communicate with family and friends only on preparation day.
You may telephone your parents on Christmas and one other time during the year (usually Motherโs Day), according to guidelines from your mission president. Take care that these calls do not pull your thoughts away from your service or create a financial problem for your family. Keep them short (preferably no longer than 30 or 40 minutes). Other than these calls, do not telephone family members or friends unless you have permission from your mission president.
Visits from family members, friends, and acquaintances are against Church policy.
...
Contact your mission president if there is an emergency in your family. Notify the mission office if your parents change their address, e-mail address, or telephone number or if your home ward or stake changes.
Not only are missionaries not allowed to use facebook, but they can only communicate with their family, not friends, through a church controlled and filtered email, and are told what to say in those emails. They aren't allowed to call home but 2 times a year, for an hour or so total. If there's an emergency, you need permission to talk to your own family.
If you break any of these rules, you get the "privileged" of talking to your family and friends taken away from you.
Yep that's the general rules. It all depends on your mission president though and their discretion. I had a buddy on his mission that would update his Facebook every Monday. Depends where you go.
True. But that's not your everyday Mormon that's specifically people choosing to go do Church work for two years dedicated to god so it makes sense to remove distractions. Most missionaries can go on Facebook or at least use email every Monday and on mothers day father's day etc
Just for future reference though for anyone reading the particular thread: Mormons ranging from around 18-24 voluntarily serve a 2 year mission. During that time they agree to follow much stricter rules in order to help them stay focused on missionary work. This includes things like no computer access (except to email family once a week), curfews, a strict schedule including time for exercise and study (and many other things).
They can on "P-Day"(Preperation Day). It's the one day of the week that they can wear normal street clothes, grocery shop, and explore the city without having to teach.
Write to your family each week on preparation day. Limit correspondence with others. Share your spiritual experiences. Never include anything confidential, sensitive, or negative about the areas where you serve.
...
You may communicate with your family and mission president by e-mail, according to approved guidelines. Use only MyLDSMail.net, the filtered service established by the Church. Do not use any other e-mail service or any other Internet service or site that has not been authorized.
...
If you misuse e-mail or computers, you may lose the privilege of using e-mail.
As your call letter states, you are โexpected to devote all your time and attention to serving the Lord, leaving behind all other personal affairs.โ Do not become preoccupied with communicating with family and friends. Except as outlined under โFamily Members and Friendsโ (see p. 37), you should communicate with family and friends only on preparation day.
You may telephone your parents on Christmas and one other time during the year (usually Motherโs Day), according to guidelines from your mission president. Take care that these calls do not pull your thoughts away from your service or create a financial problem for your family. Keep them short (preferably no longer than 30 or 40 minutes). Other than these calls, do not telephone family members or friends unless you have permission from your mission president.
Visits from family members, friends, and acquaintances are against Church policy.
...
Contact your mission president if there is an emergency in your family. Notify the mission office if your parents change their address, e-mail address, or telephone number or if your home ward or stake changes.
Not only are missionaries not allowed to use facebook, but they can only communicate with their family, not friends, through a church controlled and filtered email, and are told what to say in those emails. They aren't allowed to call home but 2 times a year, for an hour or so total. If there's an emergency, you need permission to talk to your own family.
If you break any of these rules, you get the "privileged" of talking to your family and friends taken away from you.
I know, as I mentioned here those are essentially beta versions and are pretty rare.
If you want to see how restrictive and controlling the church is for those missionaries you can read the beta manual that was leaked a couple weeks ago here.
I especially like the part where they dictate
What your profile picture should be
What you can post
What you can "like"
What you have to "unlike" when you're on your mission
Mormons live relatively regular but conservative lives. No porn, no alcohol, no drugs, basically just a "clean and wholesome" lifestyle.
There are some weird little off branches of Mormonism that dabble in polygamy or some ultra-conservative lifestyles but the average Mormon isn't much different from the average Christian.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually the exact opposite. My Facebook is infested with Mormons. They eat that shit up.
They are copying the success that the Jehovah's witnesses have using social media and the internet. It has confounded the Mormon hierarchy that they send out bellringers (like the JW's) but have much less success. They have copied some of the structure from the JDubs as well (the way they are organized - Pastors, Elders or Overseer's (I forget which one uses which vernacular), Deacons or the next step down - within each church. And moving up the ladder, they are similarly organized. All of a sudden, JDubs started calling their buildings JW.org (in NY anyway) and they all have iPads to spread the word.
I know how to get in contact with missionaries if I want to. I was saying if we wanted to find these specific missionaries it would be easy because we know what city they're in.
Don't be an idiot, it's not about ends justifying the means. Opioid painkillers are the best thing we have for pain. They're also highly addictive and can fuck up every aspect of your life, which is why you should only take them if you absolutely have to and if your doctor prescribes them.
smartal ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:38:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opioid painkillers are the best thing we have for pain.
Other than marijuana, which is illegal and not even allowed to be tested why? Oh yeah, because that system you're pretending isn't authoritarian bullshit is, in fact, a whole bunch of authoritarian bullshit.
You could argue it's better objectively overall, since it has much lower chance of ruining your life.
It's also arguable that you're a moron since you support jailing people over drugs. A practice that solves nothing and has a demonstrable negative impact on society.
What "facts"? Dozens of studies have been done testing the efficacy of marijuana as a painkiller, and it does work. There's not some "authoritarian" boogeyman blocking all research. But it's just not chemically possible for it to be a better painkiller than opioids. That's a scientific fact. Find a study that says marijuana is a better pain reliever than strong opioids, I dare you.
Stone said drugs, especially heroin, are a big problem in the community. He said this roundup may be significant in helping those issues.
Heroin and guns are involved and are issues. Does not mean every person rounded up distributed heroin and guns. You don't know if the guy depicted slings weed or smack, doesn't mean you can jump to conclusions.
If i wasn't here and you weren't there, i could look you in the eyes and tell you that i don't care about it at all. If someone wants to buy dope, so be it. And if some enterprising person wants to sell that dope, go for it. I don't have many "libertarian" opinions, but that's one for sure.
Selling Heroin? I'm sure he grew up in a tough neighborhood, bad family, lower income, didn't go to the best schools, life was stacked against him from the get go; but selling something like Heroin is just not cool, he could be a victim, but he's certainly creating more.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except there would be less victims if the drug was just legal and you could get it from a reliable source. Its usually the inconsistency of strength of product that causes things like overdosing.
Nah. I remember before church and Sunday school and Awanas every week we'd play basketball or soccer ball. We got super into it, like really into it, like full contact lol.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:37:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shawn Bradley and Jimmer Fredette are the only two Mormon basketball players I can think of. Oh and Brandon Davies, but I think he just went to BYU and wasn't Mormon.
No joke. Group of two came up to me and my dude and beat us. They were both under 6' and we were both 6'5". I took a pamphlet and gave them a fake number.
Yeah, I played baseball with two Mormon brothers. Not only were they really good and we'll coached but their parents even went so far as to sit them out of the first year of highschool so they could be bigger/stronger for sports.
ski_pow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉe was auditing a manufacturing company, who's CEO was Mormon. Part of the 'schmoozing' was going to their church to play basketball. She expected an outdoor court or something, nope. Just cleared out the chairs in the church and wheeled out a hoop. Game was played on carpet and you had to be strong in the paint or you'd get hip checked into those accordion room separators.
jb2386 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha-ha I was gonna say. Mormons go to some heights to get people to attend church. Had like 10 Mormons remove all the briar on my property. I showed up once.
You'd be surprised how often they do things just do help out. Getting you to go to church is just a side benefit. Mormons just legitimately like helping people and doing service projects
Yeah they all seem like decent people. I just don't think it would do them any good to have me attend their church if I don't believe in anything, just wouldn't be fair.
I gotta say I love videos of black people going crazy with reactions like that. I wish I could get so excited over something, and just lose my shit. Seems like so much fun.
Probably around 9/9.5 ft. Dude looks like he can get up there though
TheShmud ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 18:22:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I've watched 10 videos of Mormons schooling people in basketball. Is this a thing?
wtmh ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:48:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Near every one of their churches here in the tri-county area here in Utah have basketball courts in them. It's a thing. And church ball is like srs bsns.
Jadaki ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:33:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend in HS married a mormon girl, so he had to go to church with her. Met some missionaries who wanted to play ball on off time so they came with us to open gym nights we had set up around town. Half of them had outstanding D1 offers or were already players at Utah/BYU and on their mission. Even the scrubs in the group were decent.
I heard there are at least 10 recorded instances of it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're encouraged to. It's often a game which is played in front yards or public places, so having them play with people is a good way on worming their way into talking with them about religion even if people normally would turn them away, especially with younger people - who are the churchs main targets. They're forbidden from playing all other sports but half-court basketball when on a mission.
I can see how the LDS can use this to 'normalize' their appearance to the general public, and recruit at the same time.
Do you think that this basketball 'zeal' (don't know what else to call it) gives the young men a 'carrot' to appease their desire to play sports (as all others are discouraged)?
I ask, because I grew up in the Jehovah's Witnesses, and they are allowed zero sports - the complete denial of any kind of fun activity is one reason many of the youth are leaving. The Williams sisters are an anomaly, and most notably, are not baptized into the faith (if they were baptized members, then much of their clothing would be sanctioned, as well as their competitive sports careers).
It seems to me that the LDS shows, once again, it is more sophisticated than the Watchtower in its methods - playing basketball can build team spirit and lifelong bonds within the younger church members, and gives the young men at least the 'feeling' that they are not so different from the rest of the world.
I like watching people from different backgrounds and walks of life just coming together and enjoying something, just having fun
ggbrown ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this video saved in my Favourites. Whenever I'm feeling down I watch it and can't help but end up with a big grin and laughing along with the the dude at 1:30 in the video. Truly a great demonstration of everyone just getting along regardless of colour, even if someone got hustled. Just great attitudes all around.
As someone in the UK the idea of me feeling uncomfortable about joining a game of football/basketball/whatever with some people just because of their skin colour is quite frankly really weird.
Zwoogy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think some whites or other races that haven't been around too many inner city blacks might think we are all dangerous because of the bad ones they have seen on TV or ever delt with themselves. So a white guy joining pick up game where I'm from is pretty rare but it was always cool when they did.
Man, that's still a bit crazy to me. I grew up on a farm in small town Canada. There were like only 10 black people in my school. Maybe I'm just naive but I wouldn't think twice about joining in a game with all black people playing if they were happy to have me, in fact, I'm pretty I have done that here in the UK with football on more than one occasion. It must suck having a legitimate fear of other people like that. Seems crazy to me.
i love it when people start running around when they see amazing shit go down
peon2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:00 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw one from this sub about black people doing that for magic tricks on the street. One dude just sprinted down the street 50 yds he was so impressed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:04 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are a few temples in Porto Alegre, not sure about other cities, but they are a little bit "hidden", you might have crossed a few temples but you had no idea what it actually was.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, my good friend I grew up with playing basketball would let me in with his Mormon basketball clique every Wednesday to play for a few hours lol. It was great ball too
Our building has a rec room with one in it. The room is carpeted though, doesn't make much sense.
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause you probably belong to a small branch, and gyms are fucking expensive. They do that for all small churches. Hard carpet still works though for basketball
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True I didn't know it was all churches but mine did. They all have gyms for events and just for playing around in after lessons are done. It was always fun at least at my church if you were bad it was fine cause we were all just trying to have fun
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:57 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez why do Mormon's have the weirdest stereotypes?? They all live in Utah and now they have a secret league more prestigious than the nba??
wtmh ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 18:49:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They all live in Utah and now they have a secret league more prestigious than the nba??
Basically exactly that. Near every one of their churches here in the in Utah have basketball courts in them. Church ball is intense. It's like basketball-rubgy with no refs.
i literally played that in high school PE. we played 4 on 4 no rules, all baskets are one point. we would literally shove each other with 2 flat palms as hard as we could to stop shots. fun times
we would literally shove each other with 2 flat palms as hard as we could to stop shots
You really got that violent? Look out for these guys! Just kidding, but seriously though, if you were close enough to do a 2 handed shove you probably could have just blocked the shot
yeah but two handed shoves are far more fun. i mean it wasnt always that bad, we did actually play basketball, its just that sometimes violently shoving someone to the asphalt is far more rewarding
I'm pretty sure every single Mormon church in America has a court. They're all designed similarly. I have been to many and never seen one without a basketball court.
The LDS church was historically allowed to build churches in some countries because the building would have a basketball court that the community could also use
Nah man they all moved to Arizona. I would know, I had Mormon-only classes at my (public) high school and they changed building laws over here so they could build a new temple that was above the limit of the previous laws.
Yeah. I remember going to high school with a large Mormon community. They'd host mormon basketball competitions and invite everyone to come and a lot of non-Mormon high schoolers would show up to watch lol
Mormons take their basketball seriously dude
Edit: I also remember my friends and I inviting a Mormon to go hang out once and his excuse was "can't sorry. I have to go play at a Mormon basketball tournament" hahaha
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children
[deleted] ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 17:03:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ends more or less the same way as Ezekiel 25:17, but the beginning part is a little bit of a mash up of other verses and themes throughout the bible. The tyranny of evil men comes from Ezekiel 34, valley of darkness from Psalm 23, and brothers keeper from Genesis 4. It's just easier to say the whole thing is a bible verse because that's what it's remembered as.
Hate to correct you but the Motherfucking follows the L in his name. The man is a national treasure, one should at the very least say his name correctly with the honor and reverence it deserves.
I don't get it. What pronunciation do you use for Jehovah? I just can't get it to sound like anything else.
Edit: Fuck me, it's not the pronunciation of Jehovah that's the joke, it's a play on the full name Jehovah Witness. I spent way too long walking around saying "I just jehovah witnessed a murder" and trying to make jehovah sound like some other word so it made sense.
I was a mormon missionary in downtown Houston for 2 years. I'm also 6'6, can dunk and was fairly good at basketball... Can confirm this type of thing happened all the time.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:39:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got sent to Peru and I did the same thing with soccer. Unfortunately I'm 6'4" running around with people a foot shorter than me so everyone thought they could run into me as hard as possible.
Every Mormon I've ever met has been a really nice person. Say what you want about their entirely made up religion, at least the people following it are respectable, honest, nice folks.
edit - it seems that a lot of people have had entirely opposite experiences with Mormons. I suppose I am lucky that I only ran into the nice ones.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:58:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's absurd how nice they are. My best friend growing up and his family were Mormon and it almost defied logic how pleasant they all were. I remember the first time me (Catholic at the time) and my other friend (Jewish) ate dinner at their house. They asked if we would be okay with them praying before the meal or not. Very lovely people.
Plenty of Mormon families in my neighborhood growing up. Some people made fun of their beliefs, while the dads were always like successful orthodontists or something professional, they lived in nice clean homes, kids got amazing grades and were top athletes, everybody was good looking and friendly. It's one thing to disagree with someone's beliefs, it's another to act like they don't have their shit together.
Raknarg ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:44:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A strong community definitely helps. I'm not a mormon anymore, but I'll never be homeless cause I have a whole community who would be more than happy to help me out if I were in need
Still? I've always heard that once you leave the church, you basically no longer exist.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true at all. I'm a lapsed Mormon/"jack Mormon". Never any issues, I still go to church from time to time because it makes my great aunt happy and she's old and sweet. I don't keep anything a secret, my family knows I don't believe any of it. They ask if I'll come to church or drop little hints from time to time but nothing "oppressive". Family gatherings are fine and no one treats me weird.
My family is very Mormon too. Lots of them live in Provo, the older ones are part of the church leadership. My great uncle was pretty damn high up before he got too old.
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It all depends on context... different communities have their own culture. In general I find Canadian mormonism to be different.
Nope, I left the church when I was in my mid-20's. Literally my entire family and almost all my friends are Mormon as I grew up in an area with tons of Mormons (Gilbert, AZ). I've had no problems at all maintaining the same relationships I had with them all after leaving the church. I know many were likely pretty disappointed, but I was never shunned or treated poorly because of my decision.
I grew up around a lot of Mormon families too. Same thing. The kids were extremely talented and the dads were mostly attorneys. My mom was even raised Mormon.
I think it's their intense focus on the family that makes them successful people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely a trend. Chicken or the egg type thing too. If someone (either gender) is a good athlete and makes good money, chances are they marry someone reasonably attractive. That's real talk, just the way the world is. And after a few generations, you have an observable trend.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly believe it's because Mormon life revolves around a strong family dynamic. The difference between someone who is raised in a strong family environment and someone who is raised by a single mom will, on average, be vast.
Don't get me wrong, I've met some shitty Mormons. But as a whole, they're good people.
No disagreement there. But it's there something about an arbitrary set of beliefs that hardwires a person differently. To not have problems in there marriage? I'm not sure. I don't think so. I just think the penalties for doing so are too high. Not literally penalties, but social costs. Like you don't leave the religion. If you do, have fun with your new life. It's certainly cultish. But hey when you have strict controls over who is in and who is out it's a lot easier to make your own little utopia.
No disrespect to Mormons at all. I mean besides having a pretty flimsy civil rights record and the whole polygamy thing and the occasional proselytization they mostly keep to themselves.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:59:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I left the church. My family still calls and checks up on me, I'm invited to every family gathering. I've never been disowned or pushed away from the family. I go to church from time to time if I'm in town and that's where everyones going, don't have to.
The "whole polygamy" thing is getting old. Hasn't been practiced or condoned by the church for quite a long time. FLDS != LDS.
After reading some replies, it seems people have some polarizing opinions. I am basing my experiences off of living in 8 states and encountering Mormons in every one of them.. including where I live now and one of my colleagues being a Mormon, and a science professor...strangely enough. He keeps religion out of his material and focuses only on the actual science.
I know that they are a "cult" in a way, I get their downfalls and holes within their religion.. but I don't have a complaint about them as far as I have been treated in my experiences...and I'm rather anti religion and make it known if it's a topic with them.
I wonder what happens if you say yeah you mind if they pray? Do they just say OK and go onto eat their meals while smiling maniacally? And you just sit there confused before you finally snap and ask what the hell is wrong with them before you get up and leave but on your way out they offer you left overs in a Tupperware container that you aren't obligated to bring back which of course you accept.
I feel like half of this is a south park episode but maybe some reality too.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:15:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To people outside of their circle, to 'prove' they are normal. Just head over to /r/exmormon to see all the levels of passive-aggressive fuckery they put others in their family/religion through.
zhbarton ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 18:14:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But those are EXmormons. They're not real Mormon who are actually nice and stuff.
ClouSIN ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:22:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This makes sense. How many people are bitter when they didn't enjoyed the relationship. (See work)
Those exmormons are as bitter as the black coffee they're now free to drink
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:49:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's people that are pissy and butthurt enough to call themselves EXmormons and post in EXmormon. I'm grew up Mormon and a lot of those people just had shitty parents and experiences with the church. They don't realize that a lot of people have shitty parents and experiences with their church, they're not special.
If you have a sub called EXcatholic or EXbaptist its gonna be filled with people with a bone to pick, not regular lapsed catholics/baptists.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol he's talking about the stories of "real" Mormons doing that to people. The exmormons are the ones telling the story, not the ones doing the passive-aggressive fuckery.
Idek_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LDS people are pretty connected through going to church. I'm not really affiliated anymore but I grew up in the church, went on a mission, and graduated from BYU.
I'd imagine that this demographic is much more ripe for exmos than practicing LDS members. The LDS people congregate in other areas and Reddit is probably more conducive to non-members anyway. Some stereotypes exist. Reddit is more left-leaning, liberal, and people here are "of the world" and swear and whatever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:00 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you think about it, is Reddit really the place Mormons would come together to talk about how awesome being a Mormon is? Plus it's a bit of confirmation bias, those negative subs tend to attract people just out of sheer anger/entertainment value
corzmo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:02:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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Stuff which makes you question the church is literally termed 'spiritual pornograpy' and most Mormons are on some deep level insecure about their faith so they will go to great lengths to silence this stuff
They probably just want a sub where people can go to learn about what the church actually teaches. I have heard the most insane things from active LDS people that in no way represents actual "church doctrine"
I mean, there's also a lot of actual church doctrine that they try to keep tucked away from real members because its so out there.
I dated a mormon and asked her about some of the stuff I saw on /r/exmormon and she had no idea. she asked her parents and bishop and was basically told off with no answers
Same here. Ask active mormons and you will find that most of their own history has been hidden from them
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only mormons who use reddit are Canadians and young people
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because reddit is a liberal leaning site that hosts: violence (athough Mormon history is full of that), porn and drug references. It's no surprise you would have a selection bias.
wehiird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could be people subbed just to read all the juiciness. Athiests mostly...and basketball fans probably too
It's a difficult decision to leave the church because of how community-focused it is, so subs like that work almost like support groups. I would note, though, that you often get an equally biased perspective from ex-mormons as active LDS members.
jcy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are mormons allowed to surf as much as they want. it would make sense that an exmormon would discard that regulation once they left
They are just boring subs and not too useful for me. They may have some good information if you are looking to learn more, but I'm not. I know where to go read source material, the scriptures. I know where on LDS.org to go listen/watch past general conference and such.
Anything real important happens and it'll get announced on Sunday and/or spread like wildfire through the grapevine. Most stuff likely to effect me will be local happenings anyway, and that would never be relevant to a worldwide subreddit.
Any time there is an /r/ex(insertgroupnamehere) out there they of course are going to be salty and don't represent the current members cause they got kicked out tho.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:18:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not really they are people who leave a religion voluntary because they hate how demanding it is .
Exmormon isn't exactly going to attract people who didn't have negative experiences. And even if it did, the sub is almost as much of a support group as it is a community, and what sort of feedback could somebody without negative experiences provide to that without coming off as belittling them?
There are nice people and nasty people in every group, and exmormon is fine as an example to that point. But its hardly representative.
Except that there's evidence that Joseph Smith was a fraud though. The religion is based on historically inaccurate claims, which are almost certainly false. I don't believe in any religion, but christianity was founded so far in the last that there isn't really any evidence both ways, and you could argue that the old testament is all metaphors and shit, but mormonism is just plain not true, no other way about it. The brainwashing is very real though, so there are a lot of people in the religion who will go through incredible logical hoops to keep their faith.
well people are pretty dismissive of Osiris, Thor, and Zeus, as well as other religions from some time ago. It isn't only because of how recently the religions came about but you do have a point that is a pretty powerful factor.
Not sure why you were downvoted maybe just coming across too harsh on their beliefs.
My thought is Xenu and Joseph Smith are easy to shit on because those religions are popular enough to be on everyone's radar but not as popular as other mainstream religions that mean they are an easy target with no real defense. Mormonism in the next couple hundred years may become less mockable.
I doubt Scientology will ever gain any traction as a real religion though, it's just too easy to look up the facts behind it. Same thing with mormonism, but to a lesser extent. The mormon church is facing a dramatic fall of church attendance in western countries, and I think that it will largely be extinct within a hundred years. Having met a lot of mormon youth (my ex is mormon. long, painful story), you can clearly see that their mormon upbringing ostracizes them from other teens, which is why I think a lot of these kids will choose to leave the church in favor of having a normal life. At least in countries where there isn't a large mormon community (like The Netherlands, where I'm from). There's only a few of the teens that don't seem utterly depressed about the church but actually are really active in my experience. That may just be my limited view of the church though, but there seemed to be a very strong sense of unhappiness and doubt in the church, which manifested itself into over the top propclamations of their testimony and how happy they are. Kind of like "if you say it enough times, you'll believe it yourself".
I'm going to echo what /u/ethernetcord said. Senior year I needed to take a bs class to meet certain credit requirements so I picked Intro to Mormonism. It was a really cool course where we studied Mormons as a people and how their religion started and moved across the west to Utah more than actually reading any of their holy book. Anyway, the professor managed to get Mormons to come in, sit in the class and participate. Toward the end of the class whoever was their could ask the LDS members whatever came to mind. It was mostly women who would show up for the class and take part and they felt pretty safe answering questions honestly in front of their friends. People ended up talking about premarital sex, drug issues, dealing with having a gay kid in the community, etc. But as soon as the local president showed up for one class all the other members looked and acted as if they had a stick up their ass. Once someone with authority in their community and wasn't their friend was present they acted completely differently and wouldn't even answer any questions with real depth.
The apartment right next to mine is rented out by the church for missionaries in our area. They offered to help me move when I knocked to introduced myself (I wasn't able to accept since I had already paid for a moving company), have been awesome in every interaction I have had with them, they are great to my dogs, and I hardly ever hear anything come from their apartment.
Not only that but in the almost 2 years I have been living here they have never once mentioned religion at all. Hell, they haven't even given me a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Easter" unless I said it first to them.
I had a lot of preconceived notions when I moved in here and they have all been shattered by the polite young men that live in the apartment next to mine.
MoEvKe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Utah they are nice to your face and talking shit behind your back.
Source: joined the church in AZ and left it when I moved to Utah because they're all judgmental assholes
It's a facade. One of my best friend's was excommunicated from the church in high school after admitting to having sex. The way he was treated by his family and members of the church he'd known his whole life was terrible.
During/after he was excommunicated his parents and the bishop paraded him around the ward (congregation) and made sure everyone knew what a sinner he was so that they could treat him accordingly. All while not allowing him to speak inside the church at that point. And all the Mormon kids we went to school with all started harassing him regularly about being unclean.
Mormonism is a straight up cult. Their attitudes and "niceness" in public are keen to how you'd expect a service industry worker to put on a fake smile to make their business seem approachable.
I know someone like that as well, but it's certainly not supposed to be typical behavior of local church leaders to shun anyone. Sounds like his parents and bishop were dicks. Was this in the 90's?
My ex gf was a prior Mormom. Members of her church would stop by every so often to check up on her and ask how she was doing. So my experience is slightly different.
Members of her church would stop by every so often to check up on her and ask how she was doing.
They weren't doing that out of kindness. They were doing that to keep her conditioning up and keep her active in the church. They literally have an entire organization dedicated to it called "home teaching" where each member is assigned a partner and families to monitor. Each partner set is to visit each family on their list every month in their home and basically do a spiritual check up on them and then report back to their local church leadership.
Lol that's a pretty spooky way to describe something as harmless as home-teaching. I wish my neighbors had something as social and community building as stopping by every now and then to see how I'm doing.
No. Sorry. Mormons are just as fucked up and shitty as every other religious group.
Edit: Grew up with a Mormon best friend who is irrevocably fucked up from her religious upbringing. Mormons are anti-women scum who don't know their own scripture (because if they did, they wouldn't fucking follow it).
It's called love bombing, and it's a marketing/recruitment strategy. Speak to anyone that's tried to leave about their experiences. Same goes for Jehovah's Witnesses.
The image, and even the rules they claim are different depending on whether you're in or a potential.
This is clearly seen by seeing how Jehovah's Witnesses own magazines and secret "Shepherding" books differ on the shunning rules from what one of the leaders said while being investigated for child molestation coverups in Australia. That is ongoing.
They're both stupid American cults that rely on love bombing and other shady tactics to appear wonderful and squeaky clean. One of those tactics for the Jehovah's Witnesses was to discourage going to the police in cases of child molestation, and to discipline from within, which usually includes a kangaroo court where the accuser gets to question the child.
There's a reason this kids are trying to hard to appear like wonderfully balanced and happy smartly dressed young gentlemen. It's part of the marketing, and there is extreme pressure to the point of being disowned by family for not doing it.
I never bought their story, but like I said, in my experience the people were nice.
I was never a good target for recruitment, so I suppose that changes their angle with me from the get go
netmier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries keep busy. They probably had to help a stranger move, Help push some guys stalled car to a garage and collect canned goods for a family whose dad died recently. No joke, they are required to help wherever they can to help spread the faith.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright then! I'll take a slice of thin crust pizza with mushroom and watermelon.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up Mormon, and honestly I kind of miss it. I mean, I could never believe any of that stuff now that I'm older, but the community was awesome. Everyone cared, and someone from the church recently came by to help fix our door even though we haven't been going for like 8 years. Definitely my favorite people out of any religion.
Also, can confirm. Basketball court inside church, shit was intense.
Can confirm, Brother. The LDS have indoor courts at nearly every ward building. At the Arlington ward in Jacksonville, FL we had full wooden courts in the 90s. I'm non practicing and of course there's so much bullshit to filter through... But us Mormons are good people whether we believe in it or not. If you're baptized, you're baptized.
"The son of man did not come to be served, but to serve."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons are actually pretty dope. Super nice people, every single one I've met anyway. Good athletes, most did well in school. People shit on them but I like Mormons, they're cool in my book
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's funny seeing that cuz I used to play bball with two mormons a few years ago. every sunday they showed up at the local court and we threw some hoops. they were pretty good.
It's a good thing Mormons can't gamble, because they'd take your ass to the cleaners after a couple games.
pqrk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:23:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at the ankle angle on that LDS crossover special, and the slick off-ball restoration of the princeton offense. These guys have hustled before, I'll bet their congregation is overflowing.
There are a group of 4 of them in two apartments in my complex. Nice guys. They go and work out every morning, usually going for a run or Tennis at the courts across the street. I just dread everytime they walk around our complex and mumble please don't come here. Please dont come here
Rostrom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:11:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons have basketball courts INSIDE their churches.
Used to get yelled at on the daily by Bishop Izzo(Jacksonville Florida circa 1995) for abusing the facilities. Might have taken an ice bath in the baptismal font once but who cares right?
After just visiting BYU for a conference (in not mormon), and going through the culture shock of being in a 99.5% white atmosphere with no caffeine or alcohol and all the other typical mormonisms, it is nice to hear a pretty awesome stereotype about them. apparently everyone agrees: Mormons can Ball
Even to this day, the hardest I've ever been schooled at basketball was by an elder in full missionary get up. Elder Dean Mills from Utah. Took 2 years off from BYU to come to shithole Jacksonville Florida to be a Mormon missionary.
Ghenges ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn bruh. Dudes driving like Jerry West and doing Stockton layups n'shit. This is what happens when Weezy let skateboard culture infiltrate the hood. Pretty sure dreads over there can do a sick Jesus Flip into an ollie.
The white button ups and the name tags. The name tags are the dead give away if you are still unsure take a closer look and the tag it should say "Elder" so and so.
Nope. Mormons go weekly to churches, which have Chapels, a "Cultural Hall" (basketball court), and classrooms. Anyone is welcome to come to these.
We also have temples, although those are more spread out and used for special ceremonies (like weddings, and other stuff). You have to be a member in good standing to enter (hold a "temple recommend")
TIL its a widely known fact that Mormons and great at all sports.
Liamrc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:09 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovas Witnesses came to my families house while we were in a vacation a few years back. They threw firewood at our guard dog (we leave firewood one side of the fence and dog in the other). We found firewood all over the place and a pamphlet tied to the fence.
Could someone explain why basketball apparently is a huge thing in the mormon community (in the States? Or worldwide?)? I've never met a mormon, it's far between meeting openly religious people here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half-court basketball is the only sport they're allowed to play.
Mormon missionaries get a bad rap because once a year they'll knock on your door and invite you to talk about God, which apparently is rude. P.S next year I'll be a missionary can't wait
If there're two things I've learned in life, it's never bet more than $5 on C9, and don't play a jeohovas witness at basketball without expecting to lose.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On my high school basketball team 9 of of the 12 players were Mormon, and our starting 5 were all related. We ended up going 11-11 in our league playing schools twice and triple our size.
They can ball
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family used to be part of the Jรฉhovah witnesses and they do not really approve of sports...
JTibbs ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovah Witnesses don't t approve of people being HAPPY, let alone playing sports.
Anything that distracts you from affirming your slavery to God and his strictures is evil. Except for 'donating' to the Church leaders though. They need your money... because reasons. Maybe having money makes you evil and they are trying to save you at the expense of their selves.
Fenrime ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovahs Witnesses cant talk to girls, play sports, use the internet, or become involved in worldly activities.
AidenR90 ยท 3780 points ยท Posted at 16:08:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are Mormons and they don't fuck about when it comes to basketball.
Noglues ยท 564 points ยท Posted at 17:54:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like confusing a honey bee and a yellowjacket. Easy to do from far, but it could be a costly mistake.
HelminthImperialism ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:14:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can Mormons sting you more than once?
Alexispaige1124 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:33:36 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you're thinking or hornets.
naggerswagg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:45 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a "crossed-ly" mistake
...ill show myself out
Afa1234 ยท 222 points ยท Posted at 18:14:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, raised Mormon. There was a gym in each church and 12 and older all the guys played basketball.
[deleted] ยท 187 points ยท Posted at 18:46:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anonatitagain ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 19:45:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of them double as a social space for church events, a lot of them also have a stage on one end for plays and shit.
Saint947 ยท -34 points ยท Posted at 19:52:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like when they re-enact creation in the garden of Eden, with the story narrated by Satan. Google their temple ceremonies, it's nothing short of a cult.
anonatitagain ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:59:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a mormon for 19 years (atheist now for 8), and I never encountered anything like that. If it happens, it's nothing I was ever exposed to. I also never felt like I was in a cult. I feel like I had a pretty normal childhood. Leaving the church was easy, I just stopped going.
MassM3D14 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:49:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up Catholic, but my parents recently converted to Mormonism and they're some of the nicest people I've ever met. Very pleasant people
Nastreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:06 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons or your parents?
MassM3D14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:01:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both lol
Afa1234 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:07:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:58 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have one questions that has bothered for along time. What powers do the magic underwear give? /s
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The video he's referencing is when shown when you get married inside the temple so it makes sense why you didn't see it.
Ellron23 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:50 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just saying, you never got to the crazy shit cause you left early.
Saint947 ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 20:07:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's part of their marriage ceremonies.
Look it up, it is very well documented nowadays.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right, I don't know why you're being down voted (at least for this comment). It's a strange religion, but the people are generally sane, they just get sucked into the narrative as with any religion I suppose.
Saint947 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 01:57:58 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because Reddit has an agenda, and if you're not with the group then whatever you have to say is wrong, and not to be ready by anyone.
I fucking hate this website.
the_dude523 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:20 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then get off?
Saint947 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:06:35 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings, your methods could save so many heroin addicts!
the_dude523 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:59:53 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf does that even mean
Nastreal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's likening your statement to telling a crackhead to just stop smoking crack. It goes without saying and is, generally, a dismissive and useless suggestion.
the_dude523 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:29:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except he's bitching about how he hates Reddit.. on Reddit. And the comparison is to a debilitating disease that consumes you entirely against your will. Not even close man
Saint947 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:06:52 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The irony may actually kill me.
markd315 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has it occurred to you that maybe not all Mormons are equally crazy?
Saint947 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 23:54:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm well versed on it. I went to a high school that actually had a Mormon seminary attached to it, where about 30% of the 5000 students would go and take classes for public school credit.
I know much more about that world than you, and I can assure you, it's very much crazy.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, "release time" was essentially a free period with no credit given. The "credit" was church credit towards the seminary program graduation. If you got an A in all your classes and an F in seminary, your high school transcript would still show a 4.0.
Saint947 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 01:56:56 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok? How does that conflict with anything I've said?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For public school credit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Saint947 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:59:06 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fact remains that thousands of students attended a public school that functioned hand in hand with a Mormon seminary.
What you've said changes nothing about the point I'm making.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:45:10 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What fucking high school did you go to with 5,000 students? Cause it sure as fuck was not in Utah.
Saint947 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:54:10 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did I fucking say it was in Utah?
People like you just love shoving words in people's mouths. It was in Gilbert, AZ.
Now please, go back to shutting the fuck up.
ImNewby123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Gilbert high school and I'm embarrassed to see it's name come up this way. You act like because Mormonism is crazy to you, that it is actually affecting you. It's not, so why so harsh about it? I might even know you personally, tone it down man you're not being attacked.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty cool mate. When did you graduate?
ImNewby123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:58 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 2008. I think there were 4,500 graduating. It was the year where we got rained on while doing the ceremony on the football field. I actually bought a house one mile from the high school. It's weird that it feels like yesterday still.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was there in 2005, joined the Air Force and moved to Tokyo.
I still miss that area so much sometimes- I was a lifeguard at Sunsplash for my last two years there and it was the happiest time of my life! Lifeguard parties every weekend, hella chicks every day.
You're so right, it does feel like yesterday-
ImNewby123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:38 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can bet Sunsplash / Golfland are still as popular as ever. One of my graduating buddies also joined the forces and was stationed at Tokyo for awhile. I went a little bit of a different route, I've got a 5 (almost 6) year old boy, settled in Gilbert, and am doing government IT work. Should you come back, let me buy you a beer for your service.
Saint947 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's too kind mate, thanks! Congrats on parenthood :)
ShittyDBZGuitarRiffs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds fucking dope
Saint947 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sophomoric, to a fault.
Dr_Disaster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:36:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I discovered this a few years ago. My friend is Mormon and took me to a few churches. Bomb ass basketball court at the center of all of them. It's crazy.
Flyingwheelbarrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:31 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guess you need alot of activities to make up for strict rules.
shit_lord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just figure when you can't jerk off you just channel all that energy into something else.
straponheart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:07:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being raised Mormon but also being god awful at sports all those obligatory churchball games were some of the most dreaded experiences of my adolescence
Afa1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the dances were the worst.
non_clever_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:20 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it a "court" with a carpeted floor? I've played in a few Christian churches that have a carpeted bball court, I assume so they could have other events.
I was kind of terrified I was going to break an ankle or blow a knee, but I never got hurt and neither did anyone else. Maybe it's not as bad of an idea as it seems.
Afa1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:08 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's an actual basket ball court with wood floor. That sounds slippery though
UJ95x ยท 1292 points ยท Posted at 16:16:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why BYU basketball is ๐ฅ
trapper2530 ยท 833 points ยท Posted at 18:13:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was because they are all 24 playing against 19 year olds.
[deleted] ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 20:50:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheBishop7 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:58:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not really relevant to what he was saying. Jimmer was at BYU from 18-22 like any other college kid.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:14:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheBishop7 ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:32:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And jokes are better when they're relevant.
ghosttrainhobo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:48:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was scorching the D-league before he got called back up.
NeoShweaty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's true. I wonder why he didn't get any serious run on the Knicks given the fact that they were going exactly nowhere. Then again, Kurt Rambis is an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:16 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He refused to be a role player and demanded control
NJsteeler1298 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pisses me off because I was a huge Jimmer fan when he was tearing the league up. I shouted Jimmer when ever I shot a basket when everybody else was saying Kobe and they were like who is that. I was in 6th grade and Jimmer was the first college basketball player I was a fan of
NeoShweaty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't tuned into the Knicks season in January and was interested in seeing how he could do but I just don't understand how a team going nowhere didn't at least want to see if he could contribute anything.
God, Knicks fandom is an exercise in frustration.
daprospecta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:57 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are still doing that these days? I remember when I was growing up in the 90's, we'd all shout 'JORDAN' after shooting a jumper but didn't know that trend continued with the newer players.
The_Man11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmer got Jimmered.
Dalamari ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:58:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now you know why college basketball is worse than genocide
Fortehlulz33 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:57:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As seniors, yes. IIRC, you have to do 2 years of Mission stuff. So freshman are 20/21 coming in.
trapper2530 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not many kids from byu leaving early for the draft
PoetJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:57 on June 24, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jabari Parker tho
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:00:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this was a joke, but as someone who played DI sports, age difference doesn't matter much at that level
trapper2530 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:29 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a joke. It's a true advantage. You have more physically and mentally mature players.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but not really though. I know that's hard to believe, but once you hit college age and college level everyone is working out and practicing so much that it really doesn't make a big difference. In some ways the older guys are even disadvantaged.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 22:24:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
trapper2530 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok?
stdtm ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 17:26:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't though
Womens_Lefts ยท 307 points ยท Posted at 17:32:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was when Jimmer was there
BrownGuyInNewEngland ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 18:08:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother fucker got the player of the year trophy over my boy Kemba
[deleted] ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 18:16:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saw the Kemba love
looks at username
http://i.imgur.com/aArXALy.gifv
BrownGuyInNewEngland ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:21:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyy, UConn fans we out here! Hope Denver is treating you well bro
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smoking a bowl, friends about to come over for some 2k16
yeah its good.
Was crazy when Uconn played Colorado in the NCAA, I was working at BWW as a server (still there but now a cook) during that game. Lets just say they all my coworkers/our guests got cocky in the first half, like they didn't know Uconn was a 2nd half team.
I got a couple bad tips cause i was showing off my Uconn tattoo that day but didn't care
BaconAllDay2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:45:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bragging rights >> than tips
CornyHoosier ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I too live in Denver and enjoy 2k16 ...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PM me if you want to chill Friday, that's my next off day
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:39:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a Hornets fan, thanks for Kemba. He's the real shit.
keithzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BX
Womens_Lefts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kemba didn't have that Jimmer range
klongbor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SDSU fan here. Fuck both those guys.
JudmanDaSuperhero ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:49:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FERDETTE!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:37:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's enjoying that D-League bench now thou
yourmansconnect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remember that one game he played for the knicks? He nailed a three and the crowd went wild. And then since he fucks at defense he got dusted four straight possessions and was sent back to d league
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still embarrassed I bought his all-black Kings jersey.
yourmansconnect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha
bruisedunderpenis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:10:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the jimmer hype. He was really good for the MWC (which is why he ended up being the top scorer in the NCAA his senior year) but he was really not that great of a player. He was the 10th overall pick in the 2011 draft, had very minor success (but still inexplicable popularity) with some of the NBAs worst teams and has since been dropped down to the minor leagues without ever really doing anything. Hardly what you'd expect from the National Player of The Year his senior year at BYU.
SomethingcleverGP ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:41:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you never understood the hype them you never watched him play.
yracuseOrange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a short time, when people shot deep threes, the announcers would say, "That's Jimmer range."
He was a like a mediocre Curry, but still fun to watch.
jataba115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:28 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was the Curry of the NCAA, and then Curry became the Curry of the NCAA and NBA
bruisedunderpenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to 3 games his senior year and watched him play from about 6 rows back. I still don't get the hype. He was only good relative the rest of the MWC which was so shitty at the time, BYU actually just up and left.
Lol at the people downvoting me who idolize a minor league nobody all because he was popular in his college years.
Florianopolix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:24:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's the Tim Tebow of basketball
bruisedunderpenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very, very accurate. Never even thought about that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the nba doesnt matter. he gained his fame in college
greatbawlsofire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmer!
NiceGuyNate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was like 6 tears ago
RacistJudicata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/r4iCxLfHw0c
benbernards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmer was in range when he got off the bus
Mitz510 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:07:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is/was garbage in the NBA. The Kings took Jimmer with their lottery pick and Isaiah Thomas with the 60th pick the same draft. Guess who got the most playing time and which one made an All Star game 3-4 seasons later?
Womens_Lefts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not talking about his NBA career. His college career was phenomenal at BYU, you can't deny that.
Mitz510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't watch college sports but I remember hearing about him being a good scorer which did not transfer to the NBA at all. His NBA career has been lackluster and you can't deny that.
a-dark-passenger ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:40:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they played in an all white league they'd win every year
stdtm ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:54:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They played in the Mountain West Conference and couldn't even win every year.
a-dark-passenger ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:03:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah SD, UNLV and even Utah all had way less white people. U srs?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Utah was baller as fuck when Bogut was there.
cruztec ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to San Diego State. I LOVED those Rivalry's!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well most teams lose to Gonzaga and St Marys.
cnnrcmbs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They play in the WCC where Gonzaga and St. Mary's ran that league. It's pretty damn close to an all white league.
a-dark-passenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And they finish top 2-3 now lol every year!
cnnrcmbs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:13:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still have never won the WCC tournament.
a-dark-passenger ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
k who gives a shit?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BYU fans?
UJ95x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to be at least
codsonmaty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because all the really tall and athletic guys play on their volleyball team instead. And BYU mens volleyball really is ridiculous how good they are. We just played a fun match with them once since we were at the same tournament and are sort of rival schools and they murdered us with ease.
anonballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't scrubs, they play in the tournament a decent amount
cnnrcmbs ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:05:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So where have those WCC titles been in the last couple years? Go Zags.
Turtle_Pirate ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:09:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go zags.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
spiderdadfusion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:19:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Zag up!
Geglamash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All aboard the Zag train to Spokane.
Ayeeeee sco zags.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They haven't beat St. Mary's or the Zags in years... barely made it to the tourney... PLEASEEEEE GO GALES!
NJsteeler1298 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jabari Parker is also a Mormon although he didn't go to BYU. Also ๐ฅ
zerodb ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 19:57:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you on your mission but ball is life.
DontWewMeOrMyLad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was crossin cats.
CokeTastesGood39 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 17:51:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hasa Daga Iboweh
anthiggs ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:17:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't fuck that baby Joseph Smith
Notsdlog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:15:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dont fucka da baby
CokeTastesGood39 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's this frog instead!
zach10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basketball and wrestling are Mormons main shit
CA2TX ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:18:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't fuck about. FTFY
GoldenTruth ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:32:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They dont f*#% about.
FTFY
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon basketball... the only fight that starts with a prayer.
Dr_Disaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to a couple of LDS churches (my friend is Mormon) and they both had immaculate hardwood basketball courts. Basketball is literally the center of the church.
Prcrstntr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went on a mission to korea. In the very top of the church, on the 4th floor, above the classrooms and the chapel, was a basketball court.
marino1310 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same seems to go for religious schools. I went to a catholic school for a year and everyone there spent recess playing basketball (the yard was huge and there was a baseball field and soccer field too), every grade would be playing basketball in their little sweatervests and shit. They were some of the best casual players ive seen too.
dperabeles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, even in Mexico where I live, all the Mormon churches have a beautiful basketball court and some have an indoor soccer one. I used to play with them when I was kid and those guys always destroyed us, in both soccer and basket.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:25 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon church leagues are second only, in my experience, to California street courts in terms of realness.
patriciomd88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah on time there were these guys on a mission... long story short, one dunked on us in hard shoes... was nationally ranked in high school.
krui24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't fuck.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:20 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably do but then maybe feel bad about it.
Coos-Coos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:15 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not really fair, my Mormon friend's church had a basketball court inside it. And they're at the church multiple times a week. Of course the kids are gonna get good at basketball.
ImAFrenchCanadian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're ballin' for God.
IAmGoingToFuckThat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Church ball is life.
technosis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:54 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LDS basketball is the only fight that starts with a prayer.
The_Spoon_Knight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am mormon
UncommonSense0 ยท 6235 points ยท Posted at 16:04:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons take their basketball seriously
[deleted] ยท 2137 points ยท Posted at 16:07:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All sports. They always crush it in intramurals, football, basketball, etc.
landlubber12 ยท 3979 points ยท Posted at 17:15:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they're not allowed to talk to girls or use the internet.
eaterofdog ยท 3047 points ยท Posted at 17:29:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just think what we could accomplish if we weren't beating our dicks all the time.
toraieiji ยท 450 points ยท Posted at 17:35:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvfZnCNFPJQ
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 19:16:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That finished rubic cube just completes that scene. Seinfeld is so damn good.
DeshTheWraith ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:59:59 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right. Like I forgot he even had it in his hands till he tossed it, the perfect exclamation point.
KKShiz ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 18:27:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was the woman Kitty from That 70s show?
Anistmows ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:34:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Si
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 19:16:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DW241 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:50:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they offer any Spanish lessons in your area.
rburp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why
DW241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:37 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because then you'll also understand the Italian word for "yes."
Femoras ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:55:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sรญ
wehiird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can find the missing white rabbit
LyingForTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Follow it down the rabbit hole
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Anistmows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Espaรฑol
Swagkitchen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah threw me for a loop the first time I saw her too when I started re-watching on Hulu, had no clue she was on Seinfeld (a couple episodes too)
lemskroob ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:03:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She also was the one getting married to Phoebe's brother on Friends.
naidiriv ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:47:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, she's an actress so she's been in other things
berrythrills ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:24:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of all the retainers we would save!
Ilikebigmacs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:44 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my favorite episodes. Elaine gets all dumb and thirsty from doing the same thing with her boyfriend.
gettobedontime ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:08:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have so much more time for beating my dick.
digiad ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 17:48:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a life I'm prepared to lead.
ADrunkSailorScout ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 17:33:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You think they don't do it just because they're not allowed to? hahaha
CloseoutTX ยท 482 points ยท Posted at 17:40:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a joke that you never go camping with just one Morman because they will drink all your beer. Idea being if there was another Mormon present they would stick to their morals and abstain.
ADrunkSailorScout ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 17:45:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious! All the mormon girls I went to HS with would do all manner of nasty things at parties then went to BYU and got married after graduation.
bertowerto ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 17:57:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They made it to graduation? Some girls I knew didn't even make it to Christmas. First semester.
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 18:12:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a Mormon girl that got married as a freshman as well, didn't realize that was a stereotype I just thought she got pregnant.
Why so young?
splooshcupcake ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because mormon's are pretty serious about not having sex before marriage. They get married young so they can have sex. A LOT of girls get married as freshman. A LOT.
nightwaif ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:54:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people say this, and half the time it's true but also, Mormons put a lot of emphasis on the importance of family. Family is like the central part of the religion so getting married is like another step in their faith.
hoediddley ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:38:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you get your own planet!
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:48:10 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is cooler than being a peasant or something in heaven, imo
nightwaif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:45 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It does sound pretty dope
Edward_Nygma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:59 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they get a planet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. And become gods. Sweet gig
Bad_Apostrophe_Man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crumbletoast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:20 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, it's because the boys come back from serving their conversion mission abroad but are still technically "freshman" and they're looking to start a family bc they're 24, 25
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:26 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days the Mormon missionary boys are 18 and 19. So they are normally between 20-21 when they come home and face lots of pressure to get married soon.
Timmytanks40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I bad for finding that obscenely funny? I'd die in stitches attending BYU. Also probably knee deep in inexperienced coeds.
Luxypoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancee had a roommate (at Utah State, not BYU), who was married and divorced as a freshman. Remarried as a sophomore...
MikoSqz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:14 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are Mormons the ones who have 24-hour marriages in Vegas so they can have one-night stands, or was that some other group?
splooshcupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were definitely rumors of that the entire time I was at BYU.
quiteFLankly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a Mormon myself, I can hopefully shed some light on the question.
To us, marriage is an ordinance similar in importance to baptism. If you're not getting married, you're not spiritually progressing. I myself felt a need to get married, especially when I started spending time with my wife of 3 months.
By the way, I'm from Las Vegas, she's from Iowa. We both served missions and got married at the age of 23, 1 month before her graduation at BYU.
splooshcupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:31 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was Mormon until I was 25, and you cannot even pretend that it isn't about sex. At least 95% of the time Mormons getting married very young and rushed engagements and marriages are absolutely about sex.
[deleted] ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 18:19:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:56:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude fuck getting married just to get laid.
I'd either not have sex or, more likely, break the rules.
surfnsound ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:14:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in college who transferred from BYU. She said the girls dorm beds were all extra high off the ground, and the rule was a guy had to have both feet on the floor at all times while in the room.
Sparticus2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:18:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just stupid. There's a lot that you can do with your feet on the floor.
omgshutthefuckup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are a amputee.
Though a double foot amputee could just throw his prosthetics on the floor and jump in the sack with all the horn deprived but most importantly technically- rule following morman girls.
And then you marry all of them, right?
I've got a plan, anyone got a hacksaw, or I guess even a dremel?
omgshutthefuckup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's so fucking lame-jesus.
These girls pay $4,000+ a semester to live in these closets with beds in the firstplace. And they go and make it even more uncomfortable by raising the bed height up for no actual purpose whatsoever (though I guess the giant-dicked-sleep-raping-south African leprechauns at least.)
I mean really, I can see some of those naiviety-world championship winning Mormon dumbasses sitting around at an emergency meeting
"They keep having sex what will we do?"
"(This Bullshit bed shit)"
"Oh wow, that's amazing. Nobody is going to have even a little button sex this year."
RealPhilthy ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:32:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit same story about the only Mormon girl that went to my high school. Cali to BYU then married freshman year. Didn't even know this was a stereotype but it's looking pretty accurate.
UncleTogie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:26 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The running gag in our group for this was 'Bring'em Young University'.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:12:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Christian colleges they call it "ring by spring", because nobody can wait any longer than that.
hypertown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she get married to a fat guy?
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah he was actually a pretty decent looking guy. She was a smoke show.
SwaggJones ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They go for the Mrs. Degree.
conspiracyeinstein ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:51:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ring by Spring!
BecomingTheArchtype ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:21:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon and Catholic girls do some really freaky things
varothen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Catholic I feel has always been an overstatement. Maybe in the states it's different where catholic schools aren't usually state funded (correct me if I'm wrong). In Canada they are and the girls aren't really any different from the public schools. I was in the catholic system myself, so maybe I'm overestimating the public school girls?
Shower_her_n_gold ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:00:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is just a WASP rumor that some believe.
It is a holdover of the "Southern Europeans are not white (thus not civilized) that made its way into the late-20th century
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from New Orleans. 90-something percent Catholic town. Girls put out no different than non-religious girls.
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my gf are Catholics we're virgins but a lot of Catholic girl are so slutty because God forgive you, so why not?
BecomingTheArchtype ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:10:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the type of Catholic? White devoted catholic girls who are kinda crazy in the head always do some real freaky shit.
grubas ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 18:56:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having been to a few weird religious weddings(the family/their hometown was crazy, they had run away from it). There was always a table of girls like age 20 weeping that they'd never get married and die old. My gf and I went to one a few months back and they thought us not being married was some weird, "European thing".
KingMong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:55:52 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 22 and iv never had anything more than oral, and never been in a relationship, doesn't bother me, glad I'm. Not a Mormon, they only go crazy because they view it as forbidden. In sure if sex had been taboo for me I would have been more inclined to do it.
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 20 been in a relationship since 1 year and a half and I'm virgin, I'm catholic so I don't gonna have sex till I'm married I don't really want to do it and Is not like it's a prohibition, Catholic dogma is so open even if you sin they forgive you so maybe that's why a lot of catholics do a lot of shift
gun-nut ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:44:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there is nothing faster than a BYU girl putting her shirt back on after she finds out you drink mountain dew.
sublimedyl ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:13:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, my ex back in the day was mormon, she would dry humpt the shit out of me and then get me some caffeine free diet coke, yuck.
lightbadkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
explain lmao
gun-nut ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:57:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon doctrine says no coffee or tea, some people think it is because of the caffeine in those drinks. So Mormon dogma says anyone drinking anything with caffeine is a bad person. BYU Mormons are stereotypicaly hypocritical. so the girl doesn't think shes a bad person for taking her shirt off for a guy but she thinks the guy is bad because he drinks mt.dew and doesn't deserve to see her without her shirt
FesteringNeonDistrac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:28 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She'd have to suck my dick out through my asshole to get me to give up coffee.
Violent_Kimchi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are actually allowed to drink coffee and caffeinated beverages, I'm not sure when it started but I know for sure it's okay. I'm not very into religion but I've been sworn into the temple and know some of the rules.
gun-nut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean yeah you can drink whatever you want but it is church doctrine that the"hot drinks" prohibited in the word of wisdoms (D&C 89:9) refer specifically to tea and coffee if you don't believe me ask your Bishop.
Edit: but you are right on the caffeinated drinks thing and it's up to your own interpretation I for example will absolutely destroy a jamocha shake from Arbies and not feel guilty about it so to each his own.
Westnator ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 19:50:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy of mine went to a college just across the state boarder from Utah. Got more than 1 girl with the anal loophole.
ADrunkSailorScout ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 20:04:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*poophole loophole
wizardofoz420 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:05:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be confused with the People's Peephole Poophole Loophole.
Westnator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
excellent pun
ADrunkSailorScout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could take credit for it, but that's actually what it's called! Girls in my HS used to live by the P.L. code lol.
autourbanbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of poophole loophole :
Guy 1: "I'm bummed because this hot chick I dated is saving herself for marriage."
Guy 2: "Just explain the poophole loophole to her and you'll score for sure."
Chick: "Thank goodness for the poophole loophole. Now I can honestly tell God and my parents that I am a virgin."
about | flag for glitch | Summon: urbanbot, what is something?
Twin_Nets_Jets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:57 on October 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hiding your dick from Jesus.
AM_key_bumps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Boston Virgin.
Westnator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:56 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are girls from Boston down for the down town lester brown?
lolVerbivore ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:11:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Grew up in a mormon town, nobody told me that mormon girls get nasty in high school.
4 years later and they all have kids.
I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And a husband
massive_cock ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:43:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My son's mother is Mormon. Can confirm.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your wife or your baby mama ?
massive_cock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The latter.
_PM_ME_YOUR_FUNBAGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Day Saint
KingMong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:04 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did she try and marriage trap you?
wazli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do Mormon girls do at parties when someone shows up with beer?
They out their shirts back on.
Tornado76X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it?
wazli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basically the way I always heard it was Mormon girls would fool around, but if someone showed up with alcohol, they would be really put off by it.
emerica0250 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I met some dirty girls at byu.
blazinazn007 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:50:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard the same joke but with Southern Baptists.
JadeScar ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 17:59:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know why Baptists don't have sex standing up ? They don't want anyone to think they are dancing.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:40:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Know why the do it doggy style, so they can both watch NASCAR.....
skooba_steev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do it doggystyle so we can both watch x-files
Themilitarydude ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:25:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Southern* Baptists are different from Baptists
JadeScar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should have clarified that. Thank you. There is a big difference.
Keydet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it them or the episcopalians who have a thing for playing with snakes?
ThaWZA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:01 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pentecostals actually. Weird bunch of people. Their churches always look super horror movie from the outside.
Keydet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yup there we go, I can never keep them all straight
dace55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm both the joke and stereotype are accurate.
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 17:50:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same joke but replace Mormons with baptists.
FriedOctopusBacon ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 17:57:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever looking for alcohol at a baptist wedding? Find the guy in the parking lot with his trunk open
keyree ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:03:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to say that the difference between Baptists and Methodists is that Methodists will say hi when they see you at the liquor store.
dontnation ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:28:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also a good tip for finding the good hooch at a black or redneck bbq. ok, actually, a good tip for any social function in the south. Weddings, bbqs, funerals, etc.
FriedOctopusBacon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking from experience, find the lady of the house and ask her. When hosting a bbq you're obligated to provide the cheapest beer you cam tolerate for when people run out of the stuff they brought
dontnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said "good" hooch.
FriedOctopusBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry missed that. In that case find the oldest man person there, usually surrounded by teenagers.
Timmytanks40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You drink at funerals?
TheFlippiest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just got back from a funeral the other day where probably 1/3 of the attendees were getting blitzed out of a trunk cooler. True southern stereotype is true.
dontnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't?
I mean, you've never heard of an Irish wake?
Timmytanks40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking with me?
dontnation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm not
While drinking at a funeral doesn't usually involve the merriment and singing of an irish wake, many people use alcohol to help them cope with their feelings of grief, or even to help loosen them up and enjoy stories about good times with the departed.
The famous New Orleans funeral procession is believed to have roots in African funeral traditions involving celebration.
A specific example of Yoruba tradition:
RemoteBoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma kept the Bourbon in the closet til the day she died lol.
CALL_ME_ISHMAEBY ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:10:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And fishing.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:17:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They can't fish??
badadviceforyou244 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Always take two mormons fishing with you, if you take one he'll drink all your beer."
chokingonlego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We fish too much. I'm Mormon, and on a backpacking trip a few years ago we stripped down to our undies, jumped in the river, and went mulleting.
We caught something like 43 fish with our bare hands, which we grilled with a grill we took from the stake president and used his pancake batter for breading.
pursuitofhappy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Friend used to run a strip club and whenever Hasidic Jews showed up they always asked "are there any others like me inside" if the answer was yes they do a 180 and don't enter.
PhunnelCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/sketch257
Keydet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another similar one is that wherever there's 4 baptist there's a fifth
Shower_her_n_gold ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have been on foreign trips with two Mormons, separately.
the first one totally flashed me her panties and had sex with another student. We all saw her in bed with him.
On the second trip, the male Mormon totally refused to drink or do anything that would ruin his image.
Hi_mom1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah - I've always heard it:
"How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all of your beer?"
"Invite a second Mormon."
BorisKafka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They have magic underwear that makes them abstain.
ColinOnReddit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:20:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows the wildly rich and famous are asexual.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:54:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, I've been doing it all wrong! I thought that my asexuality was preventing me from fucking my way to the top of the food chain!
neS- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you do don't start edging. I used to beat off with the goal of finishing quick as possible. So I could beat off a million times in a day, but it really wouldn't waste much time. However once I started edging and really MILKING that dick, a normal orgasm doesn't do it for me. I need to have at least one mega orgasm now, or else I'm just not satisfied. It always ends the same, with me finishing after like 30 minutes, realizing I spent almost half an hour doing nothing but beating my dick. Only to do it again in an hour.
PM_ME_UR_SIDEBOOOB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't find the video but we've all seen the episode
CaseyBearRawr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm... I'm not ready.
DrDerpberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean I'd be as good at sports as I am at managing 30 open tabs with one hand?
iamafucktard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
World peace
Wacachulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-- Albert Einstein
whoshereforthemoney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't...beating my dick. Ttyl
daddyscientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll think about it after I beat it up first.
mdbuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That needs to be put on a bumper sticker.
HANEZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Utah is No. 1 in online porn subscriptions.
eaterofdog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:12:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only Mormons would be naive enough to pay for porn. Maybe they think if some of the money makes it back to the girl having fifteen guys cum in her ass, it won't be such a sin.
crabjuice23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be a Doctor Astronaut
Superman_v2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Check out /r/NoFap
MCMXChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/h2Pcl1cB2oQ?t=1m40s
"If niggas put half what they put in chasing ass into a craft, by now, you'd be famous and rich"
WarKiel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1366#comic
BorisKafka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keep your heretic thoughts to yourself. I think I'll stick with beating my dick, thank you very much.
H0LT45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the same things you would be getting done if you had 5 wives.
AssholeBot9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:39 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man fuck you, I don't beat my meat. I only beat my women.
dude-O-rama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:36 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would be a martial arts master chef opera composer who developed the IRL lightsaber and took us to, and colonized, Saturn's Moon,Titan.
WhitePimpSwain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:33 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait you think they dont masturbate because they dont have the internet or girls to talk to? Or were you just saying that to say that?
notLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:11 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If only I had a third hand
Pegguins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, just look at nofap. They've sucessfully made one of the creepiest cults on reddit in no time.
_VEINY_HORSE_COCK_ ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd probably be fucking lil kids
cjackc ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:55:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly they tend to be great at half court basketball, when they are on their mission and other times they are not allowed to play full court, so they get really good at playing with one basket.
Gaaaarrrryy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:01:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not allowed to play full court? Seems absurd
Octopussay ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 18:16:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it might be due to many churches having a single basketball goal in the parking next to some sort of gym used as a church building. hence the skill at half court ball
[deleted] ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 18:21:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, growing up as a mormon, I've never EVER been to a LDS church that didn't have an indoor basketball court. Even if it was just a half-court. No matter how poor that specific church was, always an indoor court..
Octopussay ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:24:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up Methodist and our churches always had a "youth" building which was a separate place for the kids and teens to go during services. It was usually a basketball gym with a few rooms for small groups. I would assume that was common for most denominations. At the very least a parking lot goal would be present.
dalalphabet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, growing up with a lot of religious friends and having weekend sleepovers where I went to their church Sunday morning with them, the only friend whose church had any recreational facilities was the LDS church. The church we went to when I was about 10-12 had a playground suitable for really small children, but that's the next closest thing I ever saw. Of course, times have been changing; I'm 35 and the youth group movement was only starting to really take off when I was a teenager. Maybe they're more popular now, or maybe you lived in a more populated or wealthier area than I did.
thefloyd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a Catholic church in my city that was a basketball court. It was a super old building in an atea that hadn't been residential in a long time so they ripped out the pews and did CYO games there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:36 on October 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Octopussay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hoop, basket, rim smh who cares
you can call a point a goal or a basket, too
alanaction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kek
Richarz ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:34:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only allowed to drive to one hole bro
therock21 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:14:40 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 100% about the missionaries getting injured running up and down the court
zeroUSA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is to prevent injuries. The less long running you do, picking up speed, etc., the less likely you are to roll an ankle or trip. This is what was told to me on my mission and is the reason. to cut down time do to injuries and save insurance money. The same reason applies to swimming. It's not that you might see half naked people like you might hear, but has more of to do with preventing drownings and other injuries. Most missionaries wouldn't be swimming in the best of pools or supervised in non US countries.
corruptrevolutionary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Games get too intense
Inigomntoya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the mission president. But this is essentially true.
Many missionaries have to go home because of knee injuries while playing full court basketball. So it's against the rules in some areas.
foo_foo_the_snoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have the stats handy, but I'm guessing less than 1/20 plays is a full court fast break. So they're good at 95% of basketball, and it's not like it's mind blowing to figure out the rest
bruisedunderpenis ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 17:59:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are allowed to both talk to girls and use the internet. They aren't allowed to fuck or watch internet porn (which they still do though).
funkmastamatt ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 18:29:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well then how the fuck are we better than them?
bruisedunderpenis ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 18:33:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We get to fuck and watch internet porn
openlywith slightly less shame.zer0t3ch ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:25:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on who your parents are.
mcsuperawesome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No I don't
qlester ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:32:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We don't believe in magic underwear?
mr4ffe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:50:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have magic memes instead.
Argonautica ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:31:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because we don't belong to a cult.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:56:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself.
Argonautica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:14 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Down votes from either cult members or people who have never been in a Mormon temple before
monsda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:02:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This mormon guy I went to high school with is married and his wife is gorgeous. Looks like Kate Middleton but better.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't smoke, drink or even use caffeine. That's how they are the more athletic white folks
Ua_Tsaug ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:51:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They actually can have caffeine, just not coffee or non-herbal tea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my bad. They can have pop.
[deleted] ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 17:39:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Masterbating is difficult when the only thing you know about boobies is that they look like basketballs and feel like sandbags.
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 17:59:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's more than enough, you just aren't trying
ImanShumpertplus ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ball is Life motherfucker
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:47:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PunkAssGhettoBird ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 17:52:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So how else do you explain how a bunch of white kids got great at sports?
bruisedunderpenis ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 17:57:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons tend (on average) to be in higher income brackets than the average american. More disposable income means access to better sports programs, especially earlier in life. Then later in adolecence, more disposable income means income available for club/travel level teams and even better coaches and what not. Also, mormons are definitely allowed to use the internet and mormon boys definitely beat their meat as much as anybody else (maybe more since they aren't allowed to fuck), they just tell everybody they don't.
source: grew up with mostly mormon friends.
gorgossia ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 18:01:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mormon friends growing up were poor as fuck because they had too many kids and had to tithe.
bruisedunderpenis ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 18:17:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's quite common actually, but overall, mormons are more likely to be in the middle to upper middle salary range (around $100k/year) than the average american and they are also less likely to be in the <$30k/year range compared to the average american. Oddly enough though, they are just baaaaaareely less likely to be in >$100k/year range.
source
kindabignhairy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so they're like jews? why aren't jews good at sports then?
bruisedunderpenis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:19:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because sports cost money...sorry I had to
kindabignhairy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons do things for fun. Jews do things that will eventually make them more shekels.
POOPYBUTTSFART ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:53 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of them appear poor because their parents are frugal as fuck
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:06 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's upper middle class? My mom gain more than that even with 50% cutoff bc of the house, and we're Mexicans(live in Tijuana, 5 miles from San Diego) I didn't know that me an my mom could have a good life in SD with her actual salary
bruisedunderpenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
San Diego is a fairly expensive city so it would be more of an exception (you'd want to make at least $70k/year to live comfortably in San Diego), but yes. $40k would probably be the lower end of middle class in most of the US and $100k/year or so would definitely be upper middle class in most of America.
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy I thought we we're barely upper middle class here
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:15:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bruisedunderpenis ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:22:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're talking about the very very top echelon of players. That's not a level of skill that disposable income can get you because that requires natural talent. The best individual players may not be mormons, but mormons as a group will dominate that "really good but not phenomenal" skill level because that's the skill level that paying good coaches can actually buy. Also those inner city kids that grow up to be the phenoms, tend to have all the same camps and travel teams and what not, it's just usually paid for by other organizations or people that have recognized their natural talent and are helping them along the way. There aren't any "walk ons" coming straight from streetball straight to the NBA. They get noticed and groomed to be the phenom they hope to be.
treebeardsbeard ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 18:59:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon youth (12-18) go to "youth group" one a week and 75% of the time it is sports related whether it's a basketball in the gym that every church building has or some made up sport or relay race.
Boys and girls in that same age bracket all get to go on regular camping trips throughout the year cost free. Church activities are always free and there is financial aid available for those who don't have the income to spend. There are only 2 camping trips a year(one for girls, one for boys) that costs money.
Granted, yes, some Mormon families may have money, but we also just play sports a lot and when we do it as an activity and have fun with it, it just makes us better players.
Source: Grew up Mormon
Pumpernickelfritz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:33:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up a Jehovah witness. Come see me in ball scrub. We would scrape ya'll.
OneSidedPolygon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up pentecostal, go easy on me.
needtoshitrightnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Live in Utah, non-Mormon but this is the reason. "Mormon league " basketball is rough and they play hard. I've taken more than one elbow to the face from a good Mormon guy!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being from low-income probably fuels the number of hours those kids put into basketball. They don't go to after-school clubs or go to summer camps. They just play basketball until it gets dark.
glap1922 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is actually not correct. Players that actually make it tend to have more money than average and a higher percentage come from 2 parent homes as opposed to single parent homes. It is just the "rags to riches" stories are better than "upper middle class person from 2 parent family" stories, so you hear and remember them more.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/11/03/sunday-review/so-you-want-to-play-pro-basketball.html?ref=sunday&_r=1&
Pequeno_loco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're part giant and grow up to be Shaq, you gotta hustle to be good too. If Kobe had Shaq's work ethic, he'd have been playing in Europe instead of dominating the NBA.
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:58 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like his dad?
Ytiradilos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:12:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very common misconception. Impoverished and low income athletes are actually underrepresented in professional sports, not overrepresented.
Edit: Here's the paper the article references
Doctor731 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:04:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The majority of pro athletes (edit; nba players my mistake) come from more affluent backgrounds. http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/6777581/importance-athlete-background-making-nba
tomdarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because a well-off smart kid who happens to be pretty good at sports has a range of options. If you're poor and good at basketball, that might be your only option so you're going to focus on that. If you have the choice of maybe getting to the NBA or almost certainly becoming a doctor or lawyer, you're more likely to go for the safe bet.
sriracharade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being in a culture that focuses on staying married, and with a lot of ins to local businesses doesn't hurt your income.
Pequeno_loco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not true, Mormons are slightly above average in income. There are some very rich Mormons, but not much more than the overall population.
Second, what makes people good at sports is a culture that supports it. That's why the black community excels at basketball and football, because it's a big part of the community.
Inigomntoya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just the income. Sure, there are some rich Mormon kids that go to special camps and such (eg Jabari Parker), but they typically excel because they all have access to sports facilities in the buildings they meet in twice a week (or more). Also, youth leaders encourage youth to participate in sports, scouts, and extra curricular activities.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bruisedunderpenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry. You're surprised that religious people are hypocrites?
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:54 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has a devout 20yro Catholic I must say that there are a lot of hypocrites
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that explains why mormons dominate in the NBA
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:37 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Poor people are better at sports. Kods always playing outside bc no wii.
Gileriodekel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If agree with this, minus the internet. Mormons are ingrained with an unhealthy fear that everyone is out to destroy Mormonism, and the internet has largely been hijacked for that purpose.
Most other people would just call it the exchange of information.
bruisedunderpenis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:29:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in a community that was 90% mormon. I've known thousands upon thousands of mormons in different communities across the country. I have never met a single one who had any kind of fear for the internet itself. Internet porn maybe, but not the internet as a concept. I've also never seen any examples of a generalized fear that people are "out to destroy the church". It might be community specific but I'm inclined to think that you may be misinterpreting things.
treebeardsbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up Mormon. Can confirm things were misinterpreted.
Gileriodekel ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up 100% Mormon, and can tell you that the church most certainly does ingrain a fear of the internet. It's the modern-day printing press, and it's fucking wrecking the church. THey have had to release apologetic essays admitting things like
Al of these and a crap ton more because people started doing research. The LDS church is scared of the internet, and really only encourages it's use for things that don't fit their narrative, which means a ton of normal uses of the internet get cut out.
IAM_CHAD__AMA ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard my college coach say a number of times "I don't recruit kids from houses with 3 car garages", there's a ton of truth to that. Rich kids are soft as fuck. There is no doubt a strong correlation between guys who make it to the NBA/NFL/MLB and grew up in a very low income household. You're a fool if you think it's the opposite.
Sure rich school districts have better funded sports programs, we're not talking about an organized sport. It's 2 on 2 pickup bball, you're saying the advantage goes to rich white kids, you went full retard son.
stylepoints99 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:38:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go tell literally any hockey player that. 90% of them come from stable families with decent income, and they are as tough as athletes get. Talking about "hard" NBA players is a good joke though. The military also has a higher than median income for recruits.
I hope you have a good dentist.
IAM_CHAD__AMA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:49:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And enough with the hockey players are tough meme please. There's like a handful of big hits a game, and they allow you to fight (which only the shitty players do) and that doesn't happen very often. If they allowed NFL players to fight people would be throwing down virtually every drive and it'd be a hell of a lot more brutal
stylepoints99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A much more violent and tougher sport than the ones you listed.
There are also quite a few black hockey players now. It's pretty much restricted to wealthy people because of a few reasons. It's hard to find good ice in the south, and the equipment is expensive as shit if you want to actually play the game. It's also a hell of a lot easier to put up a few courts in the inner city than it is to build and maintain a hockey rink.
Jarome Iginla's father was a lawyer as an example.
IAM_CHAD__AMA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:00:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're saying hockey is more violent than fb you're opinion holds 0 credibility
stylepoints99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First, I don't really care about what you think of my opinion since you seem to be a barely literate racist idiot. Maybe someone reading this might find it entertaining though.
I played football in the SEC, and I will say that what I see in hockey players is far more impressive than anything I saw in football.
Yes, there are generally bigger hits in football. However, football players aren't doing it for 82 games every year. Chris Chelios played professional hockey until he was 47 years old. That's legendary toughness. Hell, I just watched a guy suit up, skate onto the ice, and hoist the Stanley cup after breaking his ankle a week before. Compare that with what guys in the NBA do any time someone touches them. There are tough bastards in all sports. Hockey requires it though.
Give me a break man.
IAM_CHAD__AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
^ lol. nothing more needs to be said about that point but
The fact someone can play until they're 47 is a testament to it not being tough. You cannot play in the NFL until you're 47, it is too tough and you will not make it alive.
yoitsthatoneguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually going to believe this comment because it has actual data and science. Unless you have a source to prove your claim, I'm going to think you're the fool instead.
glap1922 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is the opposite. You can call me a fool for it, but it is just a fact.
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/11/03/sunday-review/so-you-want-to-play-pro-basketball.html?ref=sunday&_r=1&
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:28:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really expect us to believe that there is a correlation between wealth and basketball talent? Lol
bruisedunderpenis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not talent, skill. Skill can be taught, and better skills are bought by buying better coaches.
Sawl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries are not allowed to use the internet for anything other than LDS.org . These are clearly missionaries in the picture which is why that's what was stated.
bruisedunderpenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I must have missed the part where missionaries are allowed to play on intramural sports teams. I must have also missed the part where missionaries aren't allowed to talk to girls now. FOH
Sawl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it might not be as obvious to an outsider what he was inferring. But yeah anyways that shits fucked up. Can't believe I ever used to be mormon. Shits hella toxic to the world.
bruisedunderpenis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell makes you think the dude saying they can't use the internet wasn't "an outsider"? How could you possibly assume he's making those kind of implications? Also, what makes you think I'm an "outsider"? You're making a whoooole lot of assumptions.
Sawl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:49:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never said anyone was an outsider. Just said how it might seem to someone not familiar with the culture. You are awfully upset over nothing. Go for a nice walk and take a hot shower.
bruisedunderpenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again, what makes you think I'm upset? You need to seriously take a minute and consider what's making you make all of these crazy assumptions. Also, I am very familiar with mormon culture for what it's worth.
Sawl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down bro. Life goes on. I repent my sins to you. Please forgive my ignorance.
CharaSmash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:41 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They send their greatest athletes into black communities in order to ball out.
neilarmsloth ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 17:56:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cultural appropriation?
daleksdeservevictory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:07:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh snap! I'm a Mormon on the Internet! Don't tell nobody!
DT4P-2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons truly are living an elevated existence compared to the average American.
landlubber12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you knew what they believed, then you'd know that was incorrect. They didn't start letting black people join the Mormon church until the late 80's.
DT4P-2016 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:26:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I'm definitely becoming a Mormon.
spattem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or drink coffee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons can use the internet. Where did you hear that?
landlubber12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could've been making a joke, but I'm not sure.
nightwaif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or party or do much of anything besides practice getting really good at random shit.
st_michael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they have 7 wives
nairbseever21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I'm Mormon and not on the Internet
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:58 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... what?
landlubber12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:36 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It_was_a_joke. People are having a hard time with this for some reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:01 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...that's not true...
EmpireStBuilding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because they are like 4yrs older than everyone after they come back from their missions
Vamking12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:14 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ain't like they got other shit to do
codevii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:17:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or masturbate or drink or smoke or watch R rated movies or do anything else that isn't going to school or church....
drunkmormon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:48:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I drink.
Whospitonmypancakes ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a married mormon on reddit.
????
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:44:20 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
landlubber12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:02 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jews are allowed to do both of those things. They suck at sports because they are advanced white people who are great at everything else.
gcz77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on June 27, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jews suck at sports even when their kids and wanna be good at sports.
UncommonSense0 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 16:10:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is true
Afa1234 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:15:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish more played hockey, I might've actually gone to church then.
Saint947 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:50:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BYU is a frightening sports entity.
TroyAtWork ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a company that would play softball against some of the other companies in the area. There was a local Amish team that would crush everyone. Mercy rule basically every time. I guess they didn't have distractions of the internet and, y'know, electricity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Amish walk an average 11 Mike's a day. Most people get an average 1-3
IsaacAtGames ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget volleyball
StargateMunky101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
VERY good at bowling.
StateofWA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I coach in a high population Mormon area and some of our best athletes are Mormon. No hate on them, either. Growing up they were always super nice and genuinely good people for the most part.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My high school football team went to a Mormon town to play an exhibition game and they chartered us for the evening. We lost. 46-7. They ball hard with Jesus y'all, the after party had so much pop I was feeling wobbly from the diabetes.
Rebel_bass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:30:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin in Phoenix married a Mormon girl, now he's raising his own baskeball team.
that-freakin-guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best layup game you ever seen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now your know why Mormons are so damn happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Organized sports can rarely guarantee there won't be any games or practices on Sundays.
I know a guy who, while not a stand-out stud, had scholarship offers for D1 basketball programs. He didn't get one from BYU, and all the other teams had Sunday games so he just didn't play NCAA ball.
Crushed it in intramurals though. Absolutely crushed it.
PM_ME_MESSY_BUNS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a school in rural IL to play them in a friendly rugby match, it was a boarding high school where all they did was school, church, and rugby.
We got annihilated. It was insane.
Dmgblazer92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to play pickup soccer with these guys, bicycle kicks... bicycle kicks everywhere.
MagicalTrevor09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:55:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, are you serious or is that a joke?
termitered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dead serious.
ClashTenniShoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:40 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They always sneakin in Jimmer Fredette
TonyPajamas29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why wasn't that the final match-up in that disney movie woth the jewish basketball team?
sawbones84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me once while we were playing wiffle ball! They came up and asked to play and proceeded to whoop our asses! Immediately after they started giving us their Jesus spiel. Crazy!
mannequinbeater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not just in sports. They've also beaten the shit out of my friends in Super Smash Bros. They're apparently talented in fucking video games too.
LikelyALiar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dont forget bowling
Dominiking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just look at Bryce Harper.
jkaiser94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because they're older. They go on missionaries after high school
Ex_Why_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Their football team doesn't play anybody noteworthy typically. Doesn't really count imo
zoinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:36 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Strange that they're completely under represented in major league sports though...
oO0-__-0Oo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:50 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen people get so butthurt over losing in a sport as Mormons.
Also, the biggest cheaters I've ever seen.
skraptastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, they were the worst at Boy Scouts. Whenever we ran into Mormon troops we new some bullshit was about to go down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Story time!
Diegobyte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they are all 25 as freshman
RageCageRunner ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 17:38:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You an tell they're mormon from their free throw percentage
originalusername__ ยท 84 points ยท Posted at 18:05:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They have to tithe 10% of it to the church so they have to be 10% better at the foul line.
faperinospagheeto ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 18:45:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also by the way they are.
jehneric ยท 227 points ยท Posted at 18:03:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
According to Rule #59 of Mormon Missionary Rules, they're only allowed to play half-court basketball.
conspiracyeinstein ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 18:52:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were making that up. Ha ha ha. Why can they only play half-court?
carnageeleven ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 20:09:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus only played black top ball
conspiracyeinstein ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 20:15:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And lo, I say unto you, remember the decrees of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. For they knew the law, and the law stated 'Make it, take it. Losers walk.'"
~ I Hesitations 3:16
Amen, and amen.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:17:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus saves, passes to Moses. Score!
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 19:15:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the missionaries need to work on their conditioning
MrZen100 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 20:16:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It keeps the competitiveness toned down since it's not as fun (and you run less).
On my mission, President was a big softy for sports so he allowed full court. Couple guys went home early for torn ACLs. Church ball is serious business.
conspiracyeinstein ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:17:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the rules can be changed? I imagine only certain ones (hopefully not the one about hygiene), though.
MrZen100 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah they can be. Every mission has a little bit different flavor, but for the most part, they stick to the same rules.
The missionary training center (MTC) that I went to in Utah (there are others all over the world) for about two weeks has the strictest rules. I believe they like to set a tone for your mission. Plus it's a lot easier to tone down when you get to the field than it would be to tone up the rules partway through.
A common rule example I can think of would be music. The handbook just talks about the music being Christ centered and spiritually uplifting. Some missions take that to mean basically Mormon Tabernacle or classical music with no singers exclusively. Before I got to my mission we had an exclusive list of albums that were approved. By the time I got there, President just trusted us to read the section on music and figure it out ourselves.
Even within the rules, you just need to figure it out yourself sometimes. I lived in a duplex right on a busy street. If one of us stood behind the car to reverse out like the rules said, we'd get rear ended waiting for the backer to get back in the car most days. Kinda like when David asked a priest for some of the holy bread from the Temple (not meant to be a meal) because him and his men hadn't eaten in a while. The priest gave it to them because it was the common sense thing.
Anyway, that was probably longer than you were asking for, I just like talking about my mission.
Prcrstntr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:49:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate missionary music. Everyone I lived with played the same few albums of psudo-spiritual songs, every day, for 2 years. I just wanted to read during lunch, or pre-study time, or night time, but most of the time I couldn't, because other missionaries loved their noise.
MrZen100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:22:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't really bring much music because I don't use many CDs. Whatever my companion had was what we heard. Only one played his at all times, my step-trainer. He had an interesting perception of what was Christ centered, too.
What was your favorite book you read back on the mission?
Prcrstntr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:17 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hugh Nibley: Temple and Cosmos
Nibley talks about other ancient rituals found in ancient texts, and what some of their symbolism meant, but only mentions the stuff of interest to us. Like how the creation story is a common part of ancient temples, or a text where Jesus had a prayer circle with his Apostles and their wives during his 40 day ministry.
MrZen100 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I believe I read that one. I remember learning that first part, I don't remember that second part. Guess it is time for a re-read in the near future.
Ever read Eternal Man, by Madsen?
SethEllis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No fast breaks, less chance of injury. Basketball is a pretty dangerous sport when you look at injury rates.
chokingonlego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Less chances of injuries, which means lower insurance and lower medical bills.
Pkock ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 18:38:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well fuck.
NextArtemis ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 19:16:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The below rules are totally cool to break though
BaconPit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:45:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mitt should have never run in 2012.
Actually, a lot of these rules seem like decent guidelines to live by, with the exception of the dress code and basically never speaking to the opposite sex.
NextArtemis ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:01:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think those rules are only for when you're acting as a missionary, not just life rules. Not all of those are bad rules, they want you go get a proper 8 hour rest which is good I guess, but some of the others are a way out there.
BaconPit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, I completely agree with you. Most of them are too extreme, there's a handful of good ones.
Prcrstntr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:28 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are.
falsebuild ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:17:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How exactly does this work? Isn't like, trying to change someone's customs and culture disrespectful as it is?
Edit: This is rule 103 but for some weird reason when I format it as quoted text, it comes out as rule 1.
NextArtemis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:02:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure, but probably means don't disparage someone else's culture, like speak negatively about a certain religion or they way someone dresses. Maybe just be super passive aggressive?
janorilla ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:16:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's more talk positively about your own beliefs instead of negatively about others.
theycallmeponcho ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:59:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't God with all of us?
tomdarch ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:29 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow the more fundamentalist and "certain" people are about their religion, the weaker and more vulnerable they and their god seems to be.
FatMotherFuckStick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well damn, according to The Book of Mormon (the musical) it's rule 72... I don't know what to believe.
Kinslayer2040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're never alone with with Jesus.
Valkonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-56. Do not play full-court basketball
-60. You may play half-court basketball
It's like a middle-schooler trying to write a 5-page essay with 1 page of actual material. Why so many rules
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:48:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You literally cannot do any sport but half-court basketball.
Octoshot_MR ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:37:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true, we play full court soccer in my mission. It was in Guatemala, so the outside court was both for basketball and soccer. But yes, we played half court basketball.
FookinGumby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why just half court?
Octoshot_MR ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:52:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Safety mostly. Full court gets more aggressive and injuries increase both in number and severity.
manbrasucks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:41:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's in the rules. Duh.
kylo_hen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:04 on December 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same in Italy and most european missions from my understanding
lahimatoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Played football sometimes.
therock21 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:17:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those are not official rules. They do seem pretty legit, but they aren't church standard rules.
Also, the halfcourt thing would purely be about preventing injuries. In my mission we could play full court.
jehneric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So are these set of rules just specific to one particular church?
SquishyTheFluffkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Before going on their mission all Missionaries go to a place called MTC, or Mission Training Center. It's in Utah (probably obvious). There they are trained for a couple weeks before being sent out to wherever they go for the duration of their mission.
SubzeroMK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could you explain more about how this whole process works? If your allowed, not personally interested in being Mormon or anything, just interested in the process of how it works. What are the rules? What's the training? How do tbh decide where to send you? Where do you stay for your mission ect
SquishyTheFluffkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure! Your mission location depends on your family's dedicatable income, so they aren't going to send someone across the world if the family can't support the journey. It also depends on your knowledge. If you are already fluent in German they will send you to a German language based country usually. I didn't personally go on a mission since I came to the church at 20 years old so I don't know too much about the actual process or training at MTC. I know from speaking to my ward's missionaries that its a fun process with lots of studying on not om church and bible related stuff, but also how to approach people for the best results and how to stay safe. They are advised against going to random areas and ringing door bells since missionaries have been abducted and killed doing as such. Now they work mostly on referrals from current church members.
jacobgb24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cost is actually the same for everyone and the money is distributed to different missions as needed. Where you go is completely up to inspiration and any knowledge of a language.
Source: http://m.deseretnews.com/article/865625380/Benefits-of-equal-costs-for-LDS-missions.html?pg=all
Prcrstntr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:10 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, these are the pretty official rules. Missionaries are expected to follow them. This is how they are actually presented.
https://www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/topics/missionary/MissionaryHandbook2006Navigate.pdf
ebmoney ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:13:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, ok then.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ their lives are like something out of the give I was expecting them to start listing approved colors. But seriously I find it hilarious that there's a specific rule permitting half court basketball as the only acceptable sport.
sksevenswans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rule 56 is also "do not play full-court basketball"
scarfox1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is basketball not a contact sport?
whatdafaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so this is the missionary position?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was that meant to be "bringing", or are they pickling someone?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many rules to make life boring
plarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:02 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, I never thought about searching for the rules for missionaries. But now that that you posted them, I thought about the Book of Mormon musical.
Without spoiling it much, one of the characters abandons his companion and sings about breaking rule 72 (don't rise before your companion), but I guess they really meant rule 62 (be loyal to your companion).
Also, rule 72 seems to be a potential source of problems, similar to a game of chicken. What if neither of both missionaries wants to arise because his companion hasn't risen yet?
Media_Adept ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:57:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this. Now I'm gonna memorize these and use these rules against them next time they come around and bother me.
MCMXChris ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IIRC, they can also "soak" their dick in a woman. Meaning no movement once they penetrate.
and of course there's always the poophole loophole. My favorite.
Schwarz_Technik ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 17:56:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man I used to play in a church league. Motherfuckers treated it like it was the NBA without refs.
nightwaif ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 20:01:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL I played church ball once and I suck at basketball, I thought it was gonna be a chill game then this 6 foot 4 monster ripped the ball out of what I thought was a firm grip one handed and slam dunked it, made me look like a bitch. I got taken out of the game and they didn't let me play again hahaha
Octoshot_MR ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:37:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We take church ball very seriously.
baltakatei ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my LDS acquaintances got paralyzed from the neck down playing basketball at an informal game. Landed on his neck wrong, I guess.
Bigmachingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's incredible how people say that I'm a monster bc of my height, I'm 6'5" and a lot of people say that people my height are monsters
nightwaif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:34 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha well this guy was also pretty jacked. But that's still pretty tall compared to most people.
netmier ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:44:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's Mormons, the lack of refs is key. My family is LDS and those fuckers play DIRTY basketball. My grandma tried to teach me how to elbow without the ref catching me and my uncles we're proud of how many chops and shoves they could get away with.
Don't play basketball with Mormons if you're not ready to get roughed up.
DLottchula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My church league had refs. But the reds only call fouls for the old guys. And I got kicked out the league.
[deleted] ยท 233 points ยท Posted at 18:01:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
FrostByte122 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:11:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was having a tough day. I guess we'll never find the Mormon kids because they aren't allowed Facebook.
Fake_Virtanen ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 18:14:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol since when are Mormons not allowed on Facebook?
Gileriodekel ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:26:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries aren't.
Fake_Virtanen ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:35:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once a week, typically on Mondays. But yes, when they're on their missions they're not supposed to be distracted by their families or friends and are supposed to be doing their work.
Gileriodekel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:57:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pages 20-21 of The Missionary Handbook (emphasis mine)
Pages 37-38 of The Missionary Handbook (emphasis mine)
ย
Not only are missionaries not allowed to use facebook, but they can only communicate with their family, not friends, through a church controlled and filtered email, and are told what to say in those emails. They aren't allowed to call home but 2 times a year, for an hour or so total. If there's an emergency, you need permission to talk to your own family.
If you break any of these rules, you get the "privileged" of talking to your family and friends taken away from you.
Fake_Virtanen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:09:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep that's the general rules. It all depends on your mission president though and their discretion. I had a buddy on his mission that would update his Facebook every Monday. Depends where you go.
thedogdiggity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We were allowed on my mission
Maenad_Dryad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On their missions, they're not. It's at least very restricted
-Badger2- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:43:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Missionaries sure aren't.
Fake_Virtanen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True. But that's not your everyday Mormon that's specifically people choosing to go do Church work for two years dedicated to god so it makes sense to remove distractions. Most missionaries can go on Facebook or at least use email every Monday and on mothers day father's day etc
FrostByte122 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they weren't allowed Internet. Sorry I'm not from a country with a very high Mormon population.
-Schwang- ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:21:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are thinking of amish.
FrostByte122 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:24:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're Amish.
-Schwang- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:31:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No you are!
FrostByte122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No sir, I'm a book publisher.
EskimoEscrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, start making fireplaces.
MyGenderIsTrump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
markhachman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but Mormons go on Amish-in at some point in their lives to do good works, so you can understand his confusion.
-Schwang- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh ya I see what you are saying.
Just for future reference though for anyone reading the particular thread: Mormons ranging from around 18-24 voluntarily serve a 2 year mission. During that time they agree to follow much stricter rules in order to help them stay focused on missionary work. This includes things like no computer access (except to email family once a week), curfews, a strict schedule including time for exercise and study (and many other things).
Source: I'm a Mormon
Gileriodekel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:26:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just the missionaries aren't.
treebeardsbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They can on "P-Day"(Preperation Day). It's the one day of the week that they can wear normal street clothes, grocery shop, and explore the city without having to teach.
Gileriodekel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:56:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pages 20-21 of The Missionary Handbook (emphasis mine)
Pages 37-38 of The Missionary Handbook (emphasis mine)
ย
Not only are missionaries not allowed to use facebook, but they can only communicate with their family, not friends, through a church controlled and filtered email, and are told what to say in those emails. They aren't allowed to call home but 2 times a year, for an hour or so total. If there's an emergency, you need permission to talk to your own family.
If you break any of these rules, you get the "privileged" of talking to your family and friends taken away from you.
treebeardsbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have mentioned, grew up Mormon. There are actually missions that are social media based now and everything.
Gileriodekel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, as I mentioned here those are essentially beta versions and are pretty rare.
If you want to see how restrictive and controlling the church is for those missionaries you can read the beta manual that was leaked a couple weeks ago here.
I especially like the part where they dictate
That part is on page 18.
Phalanx341 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the Amish.
FrostByte122 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:24:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How're you using the computer if you're Amish?
Phalanx341 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are you talking about? Do you think I'm Amish?
FrostByte122 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:32:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you're Amish I know you're Amish. That's why you're using a type writer.
funkmastamatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're totally amish bro, everyone knows it.
Fake_Virtanen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons live relatively regular but conservative lives. No porn, no alcohol, no drugs, basically just a "clean and wholesome" lifestyle.
There are some weird little off branches of Mormonism that dabble in polygamy or some ultra-conservative lifestyles but the average Mormon isn't much different from the average Christian.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:24:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually the exact opposite. My Facebook is infested with Mormons. They eat that shit up.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:25:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are, just not while they're on their Mission, some strict Mormon families may prevent it, but nothing in Church doctrine that says so.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. They use Facebook to connect to potential converts while on their missions.
VentusAlpha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:49:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's dependent on the mission they're assigned too actually.
iamverymoronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard that some committee of the Prophet authorized social media usage for missionary activities.
Gileriodekel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's still more or less a beta program for Mormon missionaries.
iamverymoronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the beta test open to everyone or do you have to get an email invite?
leoninski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:39:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/outside is leaking.
treebeardsbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a secret. So It's not leaking.
waterfalse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:44:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are copying the success that the Jehovah's witnesses have using social media and the internet. It has confounded the Mormon hierarchy that they send out bellringers (like the JW's) but have much less success. They have copied some of the structure from the JDubs as well (the way they are organized - Pastors, Elders or Overseer's (I forget which one uses which vernacular), Deacons or the next step down - within each church. And moving up the ladder, they are similarly organized. All of a sudden, JDubs started calling their buildings JW.org (in NY anyway) and they all have iPads to spread the word.
Gileriodekel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it would likely be extremely easy to get in contact with these missionaries if we know what town they're in.
treebeardsbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Google the LDS Mission President in your area and he can direct you to one of the many sets of missionaries in your town.
Gileriodekel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know how to get in contact with missionaries if I want to. I was saying if we wanted to find these specific missionaries it would be easy because we know what city they're in.
treebeardsbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My bad bro, just being helpful.
Gileriodekel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:20:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you just missed the context of what we were talking about and jumped at the opportunity to do some missionary work.
treebeardsbeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, possibly. Haven't been to church in years but it's habit.
byebyekratom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus decided to hand this dude some serious L's that day
bobbyleendo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:34:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, ya'll are quick with this shit! BPT has some keen eyed mfs up in here!
UncommonSense0 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:26:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TreborMAI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what he gets for balling in sandals.
TheSandyRavage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit..
BangingABigTheory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:54:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude really didn't want to go to church Sunday.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
userlame_af ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:12:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Victim of the War on Drugs isn't any kind of justice
AnorexicBuddha ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:21:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're distributing heroin you deserve to go to jail.
smartal ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:29:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you're a pharmacy and your "heroin" is fentanyl. Then it's fine. Because means justify ends. Or somesuch authoritarian bullshit.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:34:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be an idiot, it's not about ends justifying the means. Opioid painkillers are the best thing we have for pain. They're also highly addictive and can fuck up every aspect of your life, which is why you should only take them if you absolutely have to and if your doctor prescribes them.
smartal ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:38:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Other than marijuana, which is illegal and not even allowed to be tested why? Oh yeah, because that system you're pretending isn't authoritarian bullshit is, in fact, a whole bunch of authoritarian bullshit.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:41:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to imply that marijuana is as good of a painkiller as opioids? Jesus kid, you just lost any credibility you may have had.
smartal ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, maybe not as good. Probably better.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:56:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a moron.
fuck_aww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could argue it's better objectively overall, since it has much lower chance of ruining your life.
It's also arguable that you're a moron since you support jailing people over drugs. A practice that solves nothing and has a demonstrable negative impact on society.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Opioids are the best painkillers there are, but should be used sparingly since they absolutely can fuck up your life.
And I believe in jailing people for distributing drugs, not for possessing them.
smartal ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gadur, gadur, I only have insults left 'cause I can't despute faks lke an udult, so I wun. Hur, gadur.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What "facts"? Dozens of studies have been done testing the efficacy of marijuana as a painkiller, and it does work. There's not some "authoritarian" boogeyman blocking all research. But it's just not chemically possible for it to be a better painkiller than opioids. That's a scientific fact. Find a study that says marijuana is a better pain reliever than strong opioids, I dare you.
Good article on the subject: http://www.m.webmd.com/pain-management/news/20100830/marijuana-relieves-chronic-pain-research-show
smartal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a moron.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much for facts.
smartal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:51 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just using your technique, troll. Very effective.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a troll. I provided facts and sources, unlike you.
smartal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:07 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't notice. Just saw how much of a moron you are being a while back and stopped paying attention.
If you want a real conversation don't call people names.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're just gonna continue to ignore the source I provided and not provide any for yourself? K.
smartal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just gonna keep responding with moron nonsense as long as you please to keep it up in kind.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you say, kid.
smartal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As you wish.
winnershnitzel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've smoked weed twice and never had anymore than a flimsy one vitamin.
Shut yo misinformed ass up boy
userlame_af ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And where specifically did it say this guy sold heroin?
AnorexicBuddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The video says they were busted as part of a crackdown on heroin and firearm distribution.
userlame_af ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you even read?
Heroin and guns are involved and are issues. Does not mean every person rounded up distributed heroin and guns. You don't know if the guy depicted slings weed or smack, doesn't mean you can jump to conclusions.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looked up the charges that were filed, nobody was arrested solely for marijuana possession or distribution.
Count_Frackula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah.
AnorexicBuddha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:42:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go look at heroin addicts. Then tell me it's alright for the people that make that happen to be on the streets.
Count_Frackula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If i wasn't here and you weren't there, i could look you in the eyes and tell you that i don't care about it at all. If someone wants to buy dope, so be it. And if some enterprising person wants to sell that dope, go for it. I don't have many "libertarian" opinions, but that's one for sure.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:27:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Selling Heroin? I'm sure he grew up in a tough neighborhood, bad family, lower income, didn't go to the best schools, life was stacked against him from the get go; but selling something like Heroin is just not cool, he could be a victim, but he's certainly creating more.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except there would be less victims if the drug was just legal and you could get it from a reliable source. Its usually the inconsistency of strength of product that causes things like overdosing.
Bennyboy1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I agree!
Count_Frackula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol dude had quite a day
binkerfluid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess he really didnt want to go to church
J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet the Mormons set him up.
samasake ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 17:53:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Churchball ain't nothin the freak with.
originalusername__ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such language!
wtmh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:41:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa! You kiss your mother with that mouth?
woodworkingcook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just yours.
SubzeroMK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. I remember before church and Sunday school and Awanas every week we'd play basketball or soccer ball. We got super into it, like really into it, like full contact lol.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:37:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not lying
GrassGriller ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:48:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Church ball ain't no bullshit.
TreborMAI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmer Fredette.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
JIMMER!
GalaxyGuts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He strikes again!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Anything to get you in that lock room. Missing that two year missionary partner musk.
justin914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the other hand... Homies playing in jeans and slide sandals
LevSmash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:28:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ties, button-ups, and dress shoes aren't any better.
Fortehlulz33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but the short sleeve button-ups are for ball reasons.
oOoleveloOo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shawn Bradley and Jimmer Fredette are the only two Mormon basketball players I can think of. Oh and Brandon Davies, but I think he just went to BYU and wasn't Mormon.
UncommonSense0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Davies is mormon. Thurl Bailey and Jabari Parker are 2 more
whenim30iwilllook20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:51 on June 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jabari Parker is mormon?????
UncommonSense0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:46 on June 28, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed
skraptastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the two kids from the hood didn't know is these two guys were starters at BYU.
ownage99988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like, you KNOW these two guys had to be starters on their HS basketball team back in Utah. That shit is funny.
random_girl_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you can't masturbate or have sex, how else will you let go of the stress and tension?!
Chllout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the clarification
lernington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, BYU is relevant in practically every NCAA sport.
AlNemSupreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do play at a mormon church weekly lol
FuckBrendan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No joke. Group of two came up to me and my dude and beat us. They were both under 6' and we were both 6'5". I took a pamphlet and gave them a fake number.
Beginning_End ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I played baseball with two Mormon brothers. Not only were they really good and we'll coached but their parents even went so far as to sit them out of the first year of highschool so they could be bigger/stronger for sports.
_thesauceistheboss_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ID on those black loafers? Soda Free 4's?
stuntinoneverybody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its the only fun they're allowed to have
Raknarg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin truth right there, it was the thing I liked most about being mormon
SirSamelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this as well. Mormons=baller.
Hilo42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/9RJGVVT7LfI very seriously
Hilo42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/9o2IduqWnSU
ski_pow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉe was auditing a manufacturing company, who's CEO was Mormon. Part of the 'schmoozing' was going to their church to play basketball. She expected an outdoor court or something, nope. Just cleared out the chairs in the church and wheeled out a hoop. Game was played on carpet and you had to be strong in the paint or you'd get hip checked into those accordion room separators.
jb2386 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are they Extreme Mormons?
(Longer vid: https://youtube.com/watch?v=HB7Qm20AGFk)
MCMXChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can confirm.
am member of /r/exjw.
we never wore those dinky little black badges ;)
but we did get into some turf wars with dem Mormon boyz occasionally.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Elder Johnson with the scoup layup.
scungillipig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And trampolines.
Vatrumyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha-ha I was gonna say. Mormons go to some heights to get people to attend church. Had like 10 Mormons remove all the briar on my property. I showed up once.
UncommonSense0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:31 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd be surprised how often they do things just do help out. Getting you to go to church is just a side benefit. Mormons just legitimately like helping people and doing service projects
Vatrumyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:23 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah they all seem like decent people. I just don't think it would do them any good to have me attend their church if I don't believe in anything, just wouldn't be fair.
UncommonSense0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed
Jerry2die4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, former Mormon.
xSuperZer0x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:52 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's called WardBall.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:59 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ran here to say this. they ball ferocious.
StruckOutInSlowPitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:46 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Best friend is Mormon and destroys us in basketball
notLOL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3v2 Jesus on their team.
bloody_duck ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:54:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shawn Bradley was a 9'7" Mormon basketball player that was posterized more than any other player in his day.
https://youtu.be/UEi-Wm0OFII
gromtown ยท 829 points ยท Posted at 16:22:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dudes can hoop!
battleship61 ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 18:14:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how after the one dunk it's about 57 seconds of everyone going insane in disbelief before they start up again.
blowinmyself ยท 240 points ยท Posted at 19:03:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how when some people see something amazing, their first reaction is just to take off running.
treeshaker ยท 482 points ยท Posted at 20:18:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"some people"
Youngin_ ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 20:28:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he took the safe route
Yeahdudex ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:42:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i mean i do it too and im not African-American.. I am a minority though. Maybe it's a brown people thing lmao
hoediddley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pies, no me fallen ahora!
ohmmhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:34 on June 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Hispanic and I do it as well. Maybe its a cultural thing?
lexbuck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:41:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who you calling "some people?"
Token_Black_Cock ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 20:51:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Black men are known to create distance between each other
battleship61 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:27:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I gotta say I love videos of black people going crazy with reactions like that. I wish I could get so excited over something, and just lose my shit. Seems like so much fun.
I'm hoping that didn't come off as racist as it seemed re-reading it in my head
derpinmarine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:02 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:57 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/instantbarbarians
GermyMac ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
black dudes are blown away by magic tricks.
https://youtu.be/3oLuxhYO5cw
happysquish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Some people" - you mean black people haha
Sovos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/instantbarbarians
jcfac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one dude in the blue shorts literally ran a lap around the whole court.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:07 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(Dunk is around 1:10)
citizenp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've never been around black people have you. They act like that over many things.
Dat-W ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 17:00:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They pulled a Billy Hoyle and hustled those dudes!
trapper2530 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:16:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want the busta
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dat-W ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:36:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Geoffrey, break out Lucille!
ToddGack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle Drew'd those dudes.
thepatientoffret ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 17:19:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the 2nd dunk. damn!
punchuinface55 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:19:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that hoop 10'?
charizardpoop ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:43:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably around 9/9.5 ft. Dude looks like he can get up there though
TheShmud ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 18:22:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now I've watched 10 videos of Mormons schooling people in basketball. Is this a thing?
wtmh ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:48:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Near every one of their churches here in the tri-county area here in Utah have basketball courts in them. It's a thing. And church ball is like srs bsns.
TheShmud ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:21:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'll be damned
chokingonlego ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not just Utah. Every single church I've been to has a full court, maple flooring, and 10 foot hoops. Source: Mormon
funkmastamatt ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 18:32:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's all a dream.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:11:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to read Word Up magazine
SwampDonkey08 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:36:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Salt N Peppa and Heavy D up in the limousine!
onemanlan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hangin' pictures on my wall
superalienhyphy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:54 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rollin up the endo, gamecube nintendo
Jadaki ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 19:33:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend in HS married a mormon girl, so he had to go to church with her. Met some missionaries who wanted to play ball on off time so they came with us to open gym nights we had set up around town. Half of them had outstanding D1 offers or were already players at Utah/BYU and on their mission. Even the scrubs in the group were decent.
TheShmud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Daaayumn
ownage99988 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:02:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah theyre fuckin insane at basketball. it's def a thing.
Arrogance-is-bliss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:47:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard there are at least 10 recorded instances of it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:07:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're encouraged to. It's often a game which is played in front yards or public places, so having them play with people is a good way on worming their way into talking with them about religion even if people normally would turn them away, especially with younger people - who are the churchs main targets. They're forbidden from playing all other sports but half-court basketball when on a mission.
thisnotes4you ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:24:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can see how the LDS can use this to 'normalize' their appearance to the general public, and recruit at the same time.
Do you think that this basketball 'zeal' (don't know what else to call it) gives the young men a 'carrot' to appease their desire to play sports (as all others are discouraged)?
I ask, because I grew up in the Jehovah's Witnesses, and they are allowed zero sports - the complete denial of any kind of fun activity is one reason many of the youth are leaving. The Williams sisters are an anomaly, and most notably, are not baptized into the faith (if they were baptized members, then much of their clothing would be sanctioned, as well as their competitive sports careers).
It seems to me that the LDS shows, once again, it is more sophisticated than the Watchtower in its methods - playing basketball can build team spirit and lifelong bonds within the younger church members, and gives the young men at least the 'feeling' that they are not so different from the rest of the world.
(great handle, it is my motto)
TheShmud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. It would be a great icebreaker for people that wouldn't otherwise talk to you, I guess.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They've always made exceptions for Hockey up in Canada.
Enterice ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 17:30:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Showed this video to my.friends when they were taking about weird groups of people who can hoop. None of them knew about the damn Mormons.
SCS22 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:02:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what are some other weird groups?
80Eight ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 20:27:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prince and his friends.
jzcx2001 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 20:38:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then the motherfucker made us pancakes
Wolverfuckingrine ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:58:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mess with the blouses.
skooba_steev ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:20:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Prince and the Revolution
ChieferSutherland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:52 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AKA The Revolution
GoodGuyPoorChoice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think the Mormons could take Prince n his crew (the Revolution)
SwagZoneBitch ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:03:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old Jewish men.
unclecaveman ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 20:02:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Filipinos can ball out.
Revircs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:58:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, they're short but they can JUMP.
Source: Got rekt at basketball
Appundicitis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
scroll, scroll, scr -- Ah there it is!
Yup! Gotta agree with this one.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lexbuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guys look! This guy is weak!
AnbuMobb ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:06:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Asians
Ubereem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Chinese love basketball. Since I'm American they always ask me if I like NBA. I say no and they think I'm not normal.
COLIE53 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i saw a video somewhere of some monks getting down.
PostHipsterCool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:32:14 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Young religious Jewish boys/men. They play so much ball and everyone has a sweet jumper
ReddTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:01 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heroin addicts. I hear they're shootin around all the time
Go_Habs_Go31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why are Mormons so good at basketball?
jsanc623 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basketball courts in every LDS Church
ADrunkSailorScout ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 17:38:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/infectiouslaughter/r/contagiouslaughter after that second dunk. Got damn!Edit: thanks /u/badmankelpthief!
badmankelpthief ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 17:58:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/contagiouslaughter is the original
Edit: No problem broskini
MrUppercut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/contaminatedlaughter
sinat50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/lol
smackfairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a mod for /r/ContagiousLaughter, that sub tho...
coffedrank ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:44:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck that dunk
Zwoogy ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 19:08:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love white people like this. Not afraid or feel uncomfortable to come play with us blacks.
percocet_20 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:32:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like watching people from different backgrounds and walks of life just coming together and enjoying something, just having fun
ggbrown ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this video saved in my Favourites. Whenever I'm feeling down I watch it and can't help but end up with a big grin and laughing along with the the dude at 1:30 in the video. Truly a great demonstration of everyone just getting along regardless of colour, even if someone got hustled. Just great attitudes all around.
bezjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is... is this a thing?
As someone in the UK the idea of me feeling uncomfortable about joining a game of football/basketball/whatever with some people just because of their skin colour is quite frankly really weird.
Zwoogy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think some whites or other races that haven't been around too many inner city blacks might think we are all dangerous because of the bad ones they have seen on TV or ever delt with themselves. So a white guy joining pick up game where I'm from is pretty rare but it was always cool when they did.
bezjones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:38 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that's still a bit crazy to me. I grew up on a farm in small town Canada. There were like only 10 black people in my school. Maybe I'm just naive but I wouldn't think twice about joining in a game with all black people playing if they were happy to have me, in fact, I'm pretty I have done that here in the UK with football on more than one occasion. It must suck having a legitimate fear of other people like that. Seems crazy to me.
NathanKreddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:44:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
daaamnnn.......
Yeahdudex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i love it when people start running around when they see amazing shit go down
peon2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:00 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw one from this sub about black people doing that for magic tricks on the street. One dude just sprinted down the street 50 yds he was so impressed.
Cromesett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love this.
ShittingVomit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, are those the same Mormons? Do they just roam neighborhoods sand bagging to get people into church? Respectable.
BonzosLiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:16 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was praying someone would post this.
mario1301 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:57 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me there are more videos like this?
DomPhotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Straight hustled them to be honest. Beginning of video missing and air balls. Then the real game came haha
harborwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:00 on July 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Black people are the fucking greatest
The reactions for the dudes second dunk... I'm dying
icebrotha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MLK died for shit like that.
Lazerkatz ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 16:45:40 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely Mormons. and Mormons are sick at basketball
[deleted] ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 18:47:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:52:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even in Brazil, Mormon churches have dope courts. I used to play indoor football in one, it was pretty good.
edit: I mean soccer, whatever
LaserShotgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:14 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait,what? We have Mormons in Brasil? Onde?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:04 on June 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are a few temples in Porto Alegre, not sure about other cities, but they are a little bit "hidden", you might have crossed a few temples but you had no idea what it actually was.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hand egg Ball or soccer?
ApostropheD ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:36:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's in Brazil so I'm gonna go out on the limb and say futbol
teehee13 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he meant soccer he would have said soccer. Football is what he said and what he meant dagnabit this is America
Edit: /s was implied
EstablishedDesigner ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:20:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the Internet is America.
Castro02 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:38:33 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, ya.
bezjones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he said Brazil
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
EstablishedDesigner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NOLA boi
Edit: previous comment was "can you even play football indoors?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Domes bro.
Lazerkatz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:53:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, my good friend I grew up with playing basketball would let me in with his Mormon basketball clique every Wednesday to play for a few hours lol. It was great ball too
SquishyTheFluffkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:01:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our building has a rec room with one in it. The room is carpeted though, doesn't make much sense.
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause you probably belong to a small branch, and gyms are fucking expensive. They do that for all small churches. Hard carpet still works though for basketball
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of them bitches are even carpeted.
frizzykid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:35 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True I didn't know it was all churches but mine did. They all have gyms for events and just for playing around in after lessons are done. It was always fun at least at my church if you were bad it was fine cause we were all just trying to have fun
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:57 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just realized how weird this was.
dzmarks66 ยท 206 points ยท Posted at 18:29:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez why do Mormon's have the weirdest stereotypes?? They all live in Utah and now they have a secret league more prestigious than the nba??
wtmh ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 18:49:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Basically exactly that. Near every one of their churches here in the in Utah have basketball courts in them. Church ball is intense. It's like basketball-rubgy with no refs.
sighs__unzips ยท 237 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Lord is the ref.
Coldhandles ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ball never lies" is just his divine intervention
zverkalt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:36:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's because Jesus can't play basketball-rugby
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:02:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the rugby player.
zverkalt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to set up some pins for a nice knockdown...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not on the pitch or drunk, too much work.
ownage99988 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:06:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i literally played that in high school PE. we played 4 on 4 no rules, all baskets are one point. we would literally shove each other with 2 flat palms as hard as we could to stop shots. fun times
LarryMcCarrensPinky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really got that violent? Look out for these guys! Just kidding, but seriously though, if you were close enough to do a 2 handed shove you probably could have just blocked the shot
ownage99988 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah but two handed shoves are far more fun. i mean it wasnt always that bad, we did actually play basketball, its just that sometimes violently shoving someone to the asphalt is far more rewarding
DLottchula ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:06:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would 100% swing on you.
ownage99988 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:25 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah, that's the spirit
chokingonlego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:55:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried making a shot during a drill once, and my friend tackled me headfirst to the ground. It was like somethin straight out of the WWE.
ownage99988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:20 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
S-S-S-SUUUUUUPERSLAAAAAM
RemoteBoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's streetball here in TN too
I found it weird nobody was shoving and playing butts to nuts defense
nightwaif ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:05:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure every single Mormon church in America has a court. They're all designed similarly. I have been to many and never seen one without a basketball court.
Iamamansass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you can't have sex throw down on dudes.
Karnos42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up Southern Baptist. Can confirm that intense church ball is universal across denominations.
KingSpanner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The LDS church was historically allowed to build churches in some countries because the building would have a basketball court that the community could also use
These-Days ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:34 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man they all moved to Arizona. I would know, I had Mormon-only classes at my (public) high school and they changed building laws over here so they could build a new temple that was above the limit of the previous laws.
notmaurypovich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I remember going to high school with a large Mormon community. They'd host mormon basketball competitions and invite everyone to come and a lot of non-Mormon high schoolers would show up to watch lol
Mormons take their basketball seriously dude
Edit: I also remember my friends and I inviting a Mormon to go hang out once and his excuse was "can't sorry. I have to go play at a Mormon basketball tournament" hahaha
secretlyacuttlefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:21 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the special underwear!
alexmikli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and Jehovah's witnesses don't have Church, they have kingdom hall.
PapaSatan ยท 606 points ยท Posted at 16:23:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Hoops.
westShaft ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 17:48:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They pray to the Patron Saint of Slams and Jams.
Geodude07 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:04:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankfully in this timeline there was no B-Ball purge
spyson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:08:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Michael Jordan?
King_Of_Regret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Charles barkley you blasphemer.
cruztec ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got anointed with the wetness from that shot. Tabernacle!
istartriots ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the church of jesus christ and hard in the latter day paint
originalusername__ ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 16:28:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thou shalt not steal*
*Except in basketball
BecausePoopsIsFunny ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:01:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thou reach, I teach.
[deleted] ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 17:56:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 18:30:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
toeofcamell ยท 1652 points ยท Posted at 15:51:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just jehovah witnessed a murder
straydog1980 ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 16:32:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children
[deleted] ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 17:03:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vincec135 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 17:41:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
handcuffed_ ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 17:51:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the one that says bad motherfucker!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:05:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
co0ldude69 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a funny way to spell "cardboard."
JudmanDaSuperhero ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:49:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wh..what?
Victor187 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:01:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in WHAT?!
JudmanDaSuperhero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wha..what?
Run_To_The_Hills ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A bible verse made famous in Pulp Fiction when Samuel Motherfucking L Jackson says it's his favorite to a guy robbing a diner he's in.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:00:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Run_To_The_Hills ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:27:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ends more or less the same way as Ezekiel 25:17, but the beginning part is a little bit of a mash up of other verses and themes throughout the bible. The tyranny of evil men comes from Ezekiel 34, valley of darkness from Psalm 23, and brothers keeper from Genesis 4. It's just easier to say the whole thing is a bible verse because that's what it's remembered as.
vincec135 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, you did your research. I frankly thought it was taken directly from the bible as well.
Run_To_The_Hills ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:38:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ehh I just grew up in a pretty christian home and Sunday school made sure I knew my passages, but that was years ago.
JudmanDaSuperhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your christian home isn't pretty anymore?
stay_fr0sty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
shoobuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:12:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate to correct you but the Motherfucking follows the L in his name. The man is a national treasure, one should at the very least say his name correctly with the honor and reverence it deserves.
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I can think when I see the guy that says "what" is how much he looks like the lead singer of Fun.
markuspoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And cue Cypress Hill's Make A Move.
Lessbeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ladies and gentlemen: the Church of Lazlo has begun.
Wheatiez ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 19:32:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next title when u/Gallowboob reposts it
BlueTeamTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does he spend all day on Reddit? Good Lord...
ShibaHook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're the first person to ask this....
rarebit13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. What pronunciation do you use for Jehovah? I just can't get it to sound like anything else.
Edit: Fuck me, it's not the pronunciation of Jehovah that's the joke, it's a play on the full name Jehovah Witness. I spent way too long walking around saying "I just jehovah witnessed a murder" and trying to make jehovah sound like some other word so it made sense.
toeofcamell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
rarebit13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, I just realised. Wow.
ImStuuuuuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:05 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir, that dank is FAR TOO LOUD. Turn that shit down, bruh.
Zetice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:14 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/3UeSFph.gif
koolaid_chemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With God as my witness!
tastar1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
even if jehovah witness bet he'll never testify.
BeefHazard ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:16:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just murdered a jehovah witne-... Never mind. Move along.
Roscoe_P_Trolltrain ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 17:18:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And if the mormons lost, they would've had to smoke dabs.
ownage99988 ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 19:07:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lets be real, they knew they werent gonna lose
iiSisterFister ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:48:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, mormon missionaries walk up to you and propose a bet that ends with you going to church, they arent gonna fucking lose.
Prcrstntr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do have a minute for us to talk about why that is? ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ) ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
MrBillyLotion ยท 621 points ยท Posted at 15:56:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard the good news about our Lord and savior lebron?
straydog1980 ยท 116 points ยท Posted at 16:33:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Epistle of James.
JudmanDaSuperhero ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:50:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
King James our lord and savior.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
James the patron saint of baller's
zeus15king ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:27:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read all about that in the King James Bible
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:03:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We worship Jordan in this house boy.
uninvited_opinion ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:05:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovah WITNESS?
scoyne15 ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 17:29:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my house, sayeth the Lord. Let he who is without chill break the first ankles.
zhbarton ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:13:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/blackpeoplebible
BigChinkyEyes ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:20:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really disappointed this wasn't real
OV5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:10 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can make it happen, fam.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:43:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would, but I am like Casper the Ghost levels of white.
I wouldn't even be able to come up with a subreddit statement that didn't sound like Al Gore trying to connect with the kids.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:42:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dude fuck this site i'm so tired of all these bullshit posts aboww fuck, my ankles
scoyne15 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:48:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like someone looked back and got turned into a pillar of salt.
tega234 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:36:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me sir, do you have time to hold this L?"
SlobBarker ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 15:52:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna have to come to our Revival bc you just got fucking murdered!
-Schwang- ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 18:30:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a mormon missionary in downtown Houston for 2 years. I'm also 6'6, can dunk and was fairly good at basketball... Can confirm this type of thing happened all the time.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:39:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got sent to Peru and I did the same thing with soccer. Unfortunately I'm 6'4" running around with people a foot shorter than me so everyone thought they could run into me as hard as possible.
No_Longer_A_Menace ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:00:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Brazil it was hilarious, we would play gringos vs brasileiros and went undefeated the whole 2 years. They never saw it coming.
jcy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
were you and OP sired by shawn bradley
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Our moms are sister wives
Pinbot02 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:53:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Served in downtown Indianapolis, same story. Seems pretty universal.
lispychicken ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 17:16:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every Mormon I've ever met has been a really nice person. Say what you want about their entirely made up religion, at least the people following it are respectable, honest, nice folks.
edit - it seems that a lot of people have had entirely opposite experiences with Mormons. I suppose I am lucky that I only ran into the nice ones.
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 17:58:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's absurd how nice they are. My best friend growing up and his family were Mormon and it almost defied logic how pleasant they all were. I remember the first time me (Catholic at the time) and my other friend (Jewish) ate dinner at their house. They asked if we would be okay with them praying before the meal or not. Very lovely people.
BorschtFace ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 18:33:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of Mormon families in my neighborhood growing up. Some people made fun of their beliefs, while the dads were always like successful orthodontists or something professional, they lived in nice clean homes, kids got amazing grades and were top athletes, everybody was good looking and friendly. It's one thing to disagree with someone's beliefs, it's another to act like they don't have their shit together.
Raknarg ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 20:44:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A strong community definitely helps. I'm not a mormon anymore, but I'll never be homeless cause I have a whole community who would be more than happy to help me out if I were in need
JennyBeckman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still? I've always heard that once you leave the church, you basically no longer exist.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true at all. I'm a lapsed Mormon/"jack Mormon". Never any issues, I still go to church from time to time because it makes my great aunt happy and she's old and sweet. I don't keep anything a secret, my family knows I don't believe any of it. They ask if I'll come to church or drop little hints from time to time but nothing "oppressive". Family gatherings are fine and no one treats me weird.
My family is very Mormon too. Lots of them live in Provo, the older ones are part of the church leadership. My great uncle was pretty damn high up before he got too old.
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It all depends on context... different communities have their own culture. In general I find Canadian mormonism to be different.
Gargantuace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I left the church when I was in my mid-20's. Literally my entire family and almost all my friends are Mormon as I grew up in an area with tons of Mormons (Gilbert, AZ). I've had no problems at all maintaining the same relationships I had with them all after leaving the church. I know many were likely pretty disappointed, but I was never shunned or treated poorly because of my decision.
ChieferSutherland ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up around a lot of Mormon families too. Same thing. The kids were extremely talented and the dads were mostly attorneys. My mom was even raised Mormon.
I think it's their intense focus on the family that makes them successful people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:43 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BorschtFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:45 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely a trend. Chicken or the egg type thing too. If someone (either gender) is a good athlete and makes good money, chances are they marry someone reasonably attractive. That's real talk, just the way the world is. And after a few generations, you have an observable trend.
U2_is_gay ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 19:07:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear is a powerful motivator.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly believe it's because Mormon life revolves around a strong family dynamic. The difference between someone who is raised in a strong family environment and someone who is raised by a single mom will, on average, be vast.
Don't get me wrong, I've met some shitty Mormons. But as a whole, they're good people.
U2_is_gay ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No disagreement there. But it's there something about an arbitrary set of beliefs that hardwires a person differently. To not have problems in there marriage? I'm not sure. I don't think so. I just think the penalties for doing so are too high. Not literally penalties, but social costs. Like you don't leave the religion. If you do, have fun with your new life. It's certainly cultish. But hey when you have strict controls over who is in and who is out it's a lot easier to make your own little utopia.
No disrespect to Mormons at all. I mean besides having a pretty flimsy civil rights record and the whole polygamy thing and the occasional proselytization they mostly keep to themselves.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:59:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I left the church. My family still calls and checks up on me, I'm invited to every family gathering. I've never been disowned or pushed away from the family. I go to church from time to time if I'm in town and that's where everyones going, don't have to.
The "whole polygamy" thing is getting old. Hasn't been practiced or condoned by the church for quite a long time. FLDS != LDS.
lispychicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After reading some replies, it seems people have some polarizing opinions. I am basing my experiences off of living in 8 states and encountering Mormons in every one of them.. including where I live now and one of my colleagues being a Mormon, and a science professor...strangely enough. He keeps religion out of his material and focuses only on the actual science.
I know that they are a "cult" in a way, I get their downfalls and holes within their religion.. but I don't have a complaint about them as far as I have been treated in my experiences...and I'm rather anti religion and make it known if it's a topic with them.
U2_is_gay ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what happens if you say yeah you mind if they pray? Do they just say OK and go onto eat their meals while smiling maniacally? And you just sit there confused before you finally snap and ask what the hell is wrong with them before you get up and leave but on your way out they offer you left overs in a Tupperware container that you aren't obligated to bring back which of course you accept.
I feel like half of this is a south park episode but maybe some reality too.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:15:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing nobody ever invites you to dinner c
ethernetcord ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 17:56:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To people outside of their circle, to 'prove' they are normal. Just head over to /r/exmormon to see all the levels of passive-aggressive fuckery they put others in their family/religion through.
zhbarton ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 18:14:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But those are EXmormons. They're not real Mormon who are actually nice and stuff.
ClouSIN ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:22:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This makes sense. How many people are bitter when they didn't enjoyed the relationship. (See work)
(Not serious ofcourse)
Sukemccuke ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:37:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those exmormons are as bitter as the black coffee they're now free to drink
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:49:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's people that are pissy and butthurt enough to call themselves EXmormons and post in EXmormon. I'm grew up Mormon and a lot of those people just had shitty parents and experiences with the church. They don't realize that a lot of people have shitty parents and experiences with their church, they're not special.
If you have a sub called EXcatholic or EXbaptist its gonna be filled with people with a bone to pick, not regular lapsed catholics/baptists.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which is like 90% of /r/atheism
No_Longer_A_Menace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol he's talking about the stories of "real" Mormons doing that to people. The exmormons are the ones telling the story, not the ones doing the passive-aggressive fuckery.
Idek_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
smh
ethernetcord ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. My point exactly.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 18:25:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BungusMcFungus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:50:10 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only bad story from the chess club in highschool is that we once lost the queer for 10 minutes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BungusMcFungus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was my partner
hoediddley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's spelled "queen". And it gets taken, not lost.
BungusMcFungus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey who invited the spelling bee club?
corzmo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:25:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's interesting to point out that /r/exmormon has more subscribed members than /r/lds or /r/latterdaysaints combined. (/r/mormon is basically another version of /r/exmormon)
I don't know that there are any conclusions to be made, but take it for what you will.
tecun_uman ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:49:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LDS people are pretty connected through going to church. I'm not really affiliated anymore but I grew up in the church, went on a mission, and graduated from BYU.
I'd imagine that this demographic is much more ripe for exmos than practicing LDS members. The LDS people congregate in other areas and Reddit is probably more conducive to non-members anyway. Some stereotypes exist. Reddit is more left-leaning, liberal, and people here are "of the world" and swear and whatever.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:00 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tianan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:53 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen how many Sanders supporters there are?
ruthless-pragmatist ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:51:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if you think about it, is Reddit really the place Mormons would come together to talk about how awesome being a Mormon is? Plus it's a bit of confirmation bias, those negative subs tend to attract people just out of sheer anger/entertainment value
corzmo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:02:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're totally right, from the sidebar of /r/lds:
tl;dr: they censor posts
straponheart ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:11:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stuff which makes you question the church is literally termed 'spiritual pornograpy' and most Mormons are on some deep level insecure about their faith so they will go to great lengths to silence this stuff
KingSpanner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably just want a sub where people can go to learn about what the church actually teaches. I have heard the most insane things from active LDS people that in no way represents actual "church doctrine"
Only_Movie_Titles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, there's also a lot of actual church doctrine that they try to keep tucked away from real members because its so out there.
I dated a mormon and asked her about some of the stuff I saw on /r/exmormon and she had no idea. she asked her parents and bishop and was basically told off with no answers
All_American_Heathen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:02 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Ask active mormons and you will find that most of their own history has been hidden from them
Raknarg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only mormons who use reddit are Canadians and young people
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:59:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because reddit is a liberal leaning site that hosts: violence (athough Mormon history is full of that), porn and drug references. It's no surprise you would have a selection bias.
wehiird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could be people subbed just to read all the juiciness. Athiests mostly...and basketball fans probably too
KingSpanner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a difficult decision to leave the church because of how community-focused it is, so subs like that work almost like support groups. I would note, though, that you often get an equally biased perspective from ex-mormons as active LDS members.
jcy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are mormons allowed to surf as much as they want. it would make sense that an exmormon would discard that regulation once they left
alandbeforetime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The conclusion is that you're on reddit, where atheism is the norm and mocking religion gets you upvotes
MrZen100 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:27:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm LDS and not subscribed to any of those.
They are just boring subs and not too useful for me. They may have some good information if you are looking to learn more, but I'm not. I know where to go read source material, the scriptures. I know where on LDS.org to go listen/watch past general conference and such.
Anything real important happens and it'll get announced on Sunday and/or spread like wildfire through the grapevine. Most stuff likely to effect me will be local happenings anyway, and that would never be relevant to a worldwide subreddit.
A subreddit is not really needed or wanted.
MaddenMan73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:12:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Any time there is an /r/ex(insertgroupnamehere) out there they of course are going to be salty and don't represent the current members cause they got kicked out tho.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:18:22 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not really they are people who leave a religion voluntary because they hate how demanding it is .
UncommonSense0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:00:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an "exmormon", I feel inclined to point out that no one should form an opinion based on a sub that literally exists out of bias.
lispychicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do read that sub every so often. I suppose me not being an ex Mormon allows me to avoid any post-church hazing.
CHAINMAILLEKID ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exmormon isn't exactly going to attract people who didn't have negative experiences. And even if it did, the sub is almost as much of a support group as it is a community, and what sort of feedback could somebody without negative experiences provide to that without coming off as belittling them?
There are nice people and nasty people in every group, and exmormon is fine as an example to that point. But its hardly representative.
abrahamisaninja ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:43:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just here for the sexually repressed ex-Mormon chicks.
MidnightMateor ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:26:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People love to shit on it, but I don't see it as being any more or less believable than other major religions.
lispychicken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:34:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think if only because it's the most popular and modern one it's an easier target.
JennyBeckman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's because it has a fan-fiction vibe to it. That and the magic underwear.
forumrunner ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:51:09 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except that there's evidence that Joseph Smith was a fraud though. The religion is based on historically inaccurate claims, which are almost certainly false. I don't believe in any religion, but christianity was founded so far in the last that there isn't really any evidence both ways, and you could argue that the old testament is all metaphors and shit, but mormonism is just plain not true, no other way about it. The brainwashing is very real though, so there are a lot of people in the religion who will go through incredible logical hoops to keep their faith.
Thanos_Stomps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:26 on July 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well people are pretty dismissive of Osiris, Thor, and Zeus, as well as other religions from some time ago. It isn't only because of how recently the religions came about but you do have a point that is a pretty powerful factor.
Not sure why you were downvoted maybe just coming across too harsh on their beliefs.
My thought is Xenu and Joseph Smith are easy to shit on because those religions are popular enough to be on everyone's radar but not as popular as other mainstream religions that mean they are an easy target with no real defense. Mormonism in the next couple hundred years may become less mockable.
forumrunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:48 on July 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt Scientology will ever gain any traction as a real religion though, it's just too easy to look up the facts behind it. Same thing with mormonism, but to a lesser extent. The mormon church is facing a dramatic fall of church attendance in western countries, and I think that it will largely be extinct within a hundred years. Having met a lot of mormon youth (my ex is mormon. long, painful story), you can clearly see that their mormon upbringing ostracizes them from other teens, which is why I think a lot of these kids will choose to leave the church in favor of having a normal life. At least in countries where there isn't a large mormon community (like The Netherlands, where I'm from). There's only a few of the teens that don't seem utterly depressed about the church but actually are really active in my experience. That may just be my limited view of the church though, but there seemed to be a very strong sense of unhappiness and doubt in the church, which manifested itself into over the top propclamations of their testimony and how happy they are. Kind of like "if you say it enough times, you'll believe it yourself".
All_American_Heathen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:04:36 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you heard of the CES Letter? That will change your mind. Mormonism is blatantly false
IndefinableMustache ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:31:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except that dude who's trying to take over Vermont. Guy is a major asshole.
this_is_poorly_done ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to echo what /u/ethernetcord said. Senior year I needed to take a bs class to meet certain credit requirements so I picked Intro to Mormonism. It was a really cool course where we studied Mormons as a people and how their religion started and moved across the west to Utah more than actually reading any of their holy book. Anyway, the professor managed to get Mormons to come in, sit in the class and participate. Toward the end of the class whoever was their could ask the LDS members whatever came to mind. It was mostly women who would show up for the class and take part and they felt pretty safe answering questions honestly in front of their friends. People ended up talking about premarital sex, drug issues, dealing with having a gay kid in the community, etc. But as soon as the local president showed up for one class all the other members looked and acted as if they had a stick up their ass. Once someone with authority in their community and wasn't their friend was present they acted completely differently and wouldn't even answer any questions with real depth.
Au_Contrarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The South Park depiction was robustly accurate.
RedShirtDecoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely agree with this.
The apartment right next to mine is rented out by the church for missionaries in our area. They offered to help me move when I knocked to introduced myself (I wasn't able to accept since I had already paid for a moving company), have been awesome in every interaction I have had with them, they are great to my dogs, and I hardly ever hear anything come from their apartment.
Not only that but in the almost 2 years I have been living here they have never once mentioned religion at all. Hell, they haven't even given me a "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Easter" unless I said it first to them.
I had a lot of preconceived notions when I moved in here and they have all been shattered by the polite young men that live in the apartment next to mine.
Ha55aN1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is their religion more made up than any other? :)
lispychicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, none are believable to me.. but there's really starts out on the wrong foot with a non scam artist.
WilliamofYellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:42 on June 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because the founder is a proven fraud.
MoEvKe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Utah they are nice to your face and talking shit behind your back. Source: joined the church in AZ and left it when I moved to Utah because they're all judgmental assholes
treebeardsbeard ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:14:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Utah is it's own brand of Mormon though. Every Mormon knows that.
shiroikiri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's Utah Mormons, then there's Mormons living in utah, definitely different.
PunkAssGhettoBird ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:15:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a facade. One of my best friend's was excommunicated from the church in high school after admitting to having sex. The way he was treated by his family and members of the church he'd known his whole life was terrible.
During/after he was excommunicated his parents and the bishop paraded him around the ward (congregation) and made sure everyone knew what a sinner he was so that they could treat him accordingly. All while not allowing him to speak inside the church at that point. And all the Mormon kids we went to school with all started harassing him regularly about being unclean.
Mormonism is a straight up cult. Their attitudes and "niceness" in public are keen to how you'd expect a service industry worker to put on a fake smile to make their business seem approachable.
143demdirtybirds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-communicated for premarital sex? I fucking wish lol.
Im unmarried with 5 kids and they still come by my house all the fucking time trying to get me to go back to church.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure he wasn't a JW?
Because seriously, I left and still just drop by for Sunday Church with my Grandma once in a while to keep her happy.
Also those brunches are fucking doooooope. Funeral Potatoes are my motherfucking Jam.
KingSpanner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone like that as well, but it's certainly not supposed to be typical behavior of local church leaders to shun anyone. Sounds like his parents and bishop were dicks. Was this in the 90's?
lispychicken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:23:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well, they play it off perfectly.
My ex gf was a prior Mormom. Members of her church would stop by every so often to check up on her and ask how she was doing. So my experience is slightly different.
theonewhoabides ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They weren't doing that out of kindness. They were doing that to keep her conditioning up and keep her active in the church. They literally have an entire organization dedicated to it called "home teaching" where each member is assigned a partner and families to monitor. Each partner set is to visit each family on their list every month in their home and basically do a spiritual check up on them and then report back to their local church leadership.
It's a cult.
KingSpanner ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:27:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that's a pretty spooky way to describe something as harmless as home-teaching. I wish my neighbors had something as social and community building as stopping by every now and then to see how I'm doing.
theonewhoabides ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its called friendship. You should do it for and with people you like and enjoy without the need to be assigned to it for alternative motives.
My point is, it is not friendship if it is an assignment. It is not relationship building it is monitoring. I know, I did it from age 12-18.
The LDS church is a cult. They follow the BITE Model for mind control to a T.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Home teaching doesn't mention ex Mormons.
TrolledByDestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its made up? What do you mean? I know nothing of that religion.
esnesih ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably in the sense that all religions are made up
All_American_Heathen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:12 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CES Letter.
hoediddley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Met many nice Mormons. But dat prop 8 doe.
All_American_Heathen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:11 on June 23, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Head over to /r/exmormon to hear horror stories. The church is not harmless
Baird_Swift ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:58:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if JWs are any indication it's just a front.
gorgossia ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 18:02:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Sorry. Mormons are just as fucked up and shitty as every other religious group.
Edit: Grew up with a Mormon best friend who is irrevocably fucked up from her religious upbringing. Mormons are anti-women scum who don't know their own scripture (because if they did, they wouldn't fucking follow it).
Grandebabo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:30:01 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have never met my Mormon brother-in-law. I fucking total dick head.
karspearhollow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:09:42 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a mormon in high school. She was very sweet. Her family were all vehement racists. She probably is too, these days.
Like the rest of us, plenty of mormons are great people while plenty of them are horrible.
itshonestwork ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's called love bombing, and it's a marketing/recruitment strategy. Speak to anyone that's tried to leave about their experiences. Same goes for Jehovah's Witnesses.
The image, and even the rules they claim are different depending on whether you're in or a potential.
This is clearly seen by seeing how Jehovah's Witnesses own magazines and secret "Shepherding" books differ on the shunning rules from what one of the leaders said while being investigated for child molestation coverups in Australia. That is ongoing.
They're both stupid American cults that rely on love bombing and other shady tactics to appear wonderful and squeaky clean. One of those tactics for the Jehovah's Witnesses was to discourage going to the police in cases of child molestation, and to discipline from within, which usually includes a kangaroo court where the accuser gets to question the child.
There's a reason this kids are trying to hard to appear like wonderfully balanced and happy smartly dressed young gentlemen. It's part of the marketing, and there is extreme pressure to the point of being disowned by family for not doing it.
Do not buy it.
lispychicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never bought their story, but like I said, in my experience the people were nice. I was never a good target for recruitment, so I suppose that changes their angle with me from the get go
Allmightyexodia ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 16:28:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing the lords work. One ankle break at a time.
BlackBeanTaco ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell plays to 10??
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 21 or nothing..
BlackBeanTaco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:23:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. Fck yeh.
ApostropheD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson
BlackBeanTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol.
netmier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries keep busy. They probably had to help a stranger move, Help push some guys stalled car to a garage and collect canned goods for a family whose dad died recently. No joke, they are required to help wherever they can to help spread the faith.
ProWaterboarder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shaq and Aaron Carter
Shibbalicious ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 17:18:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always respect your elders!
Sider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayoooo
Lucriox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:51:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I like that
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:15:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did they get served though?
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 16:31:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cafeteriastyle ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:14:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/aohXRlK.jpg
shmameron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:49 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:21 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright then! I'll take a slice of thin crust pizza with mushroom and watermelon.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:55:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up Mormon, and honestly I kind of miss it. I mean, I could never believe any of that stuff now that I'm older, but the community was awesome. Everyone cared, and someone from the church recently came by to help fix our door even though we haven't been going for like 8 years. Definitely my favorite people out of any religion.
Also, can confirm. Basketball court inside church, shit was intense.
Concealer11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:10:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, Brother. The LDS have indoor courts at nearly every ward building. At the Arlington ward in Jacksonville, FL we had full wooden courts in the 90s. I'm non practicing and of course there's so much bullshit to filter through... But us Mormons are good people whether we believe in it or not. If you're baptized, you're baptized.
SuperFungi343 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:28:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is good layup form
MadScienceIntern ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:57:08 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son to go hard in the paint.
giftedgod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is killing me.
bikesbabesbeer ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 16:58:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like mormons not JW's.
jaxi1794 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:24:35 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be LDS. They build a basketball court in the center of every church, they don't fuck around when it comes to basketball
Kharn0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:16 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why basketball?
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:57:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are Mormon, and friggin' Mormons know their basketball...
IHoldSteady ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:23:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck plays to 10?
teehee13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do, all baskets count as 1, so it's almost the same as 21 but less threes
IHoldSteady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we only play ones as well.
Syntechi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:27:04 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck don't play first to ten win by one
roybringus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:00:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We always play to 11 or 21, win by two. Never anything else
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:29 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never anything else
Ogaminator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:17:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cali checking in, that's how we do it.
Coldhandles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:25 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and 1's and 2's for half-court. I've never questioned why we didn't play 2's and 3's (unless full-court) like all other forms of basketball.
IHoldSteady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We play 11 straight up or to 16 straight up if it is the last game. I'm from Richmond, VA.
Syntechi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We play straight ones first to ten singles
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck plays win by one?????
yopeee ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:02:31 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WITNESS NIKE
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:44:32 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons. Mormons ball hard.
Wizard_of_Ozymandias ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:13:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are all Witnesses
Lukethehedgehog ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself
xDELxPAWNx ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:58:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL: Mormons are known fore their adept skill at basketball
frontpagedestined ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:16:45 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon basketball leagues, only fight that always starts with a prayer..
Tingsoon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The son of man did not come to be served, but to serve."
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:04:48 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons are actually pretty dope. Super nice people, every single one I've met anyway. Good athletes, most did well in school. People shit on them but I like Mormons, they're cool in my book
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:39:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's funny seeing that cuz I used to play bball with two mormons a few years ago. every sunday they showed up at the local court and we threw some hoops. they were pretty good.
canna_fodder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:20:55 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons got game. Hide your children, hide your wives.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:08:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God is love but ball is life
SmackSmash ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:55:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice conversion.
sk33tasaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They need to take they ass back to Utah with three weak ass Jazz smh always STILL talkin about Carl Malone bitch it's 2016
Radi0Dead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:36 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/3TpymKe
roofis707 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good thing Mormons can't gamble, because they'd take your ass to the cleaners after a couple games.
pqrk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:23:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at the ankle angle on that LDS crossover special, and the slick off-ball restoration of the princeton offense. These guys have hustled before, I'll bet their congregation is overflowing.
rgraves22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are a group of 4 of them in two apartments in my complex. Nice guys. They go and work out every morning, usually going for a run or Tennis at the courts across the street. I just dread everytime they walk around our complex and mumble please don't come here. Please dont come here
Rostrom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:11:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons have basketball courts INSIDE their churches.
Concealer11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Used to get yelled at on the daily by Bishop Izzo(Jacksonville Florida circa 1995) for abusing the facilities. Might have taken an ice bath in the baptismal font once but who cares right?
ravice41 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After just visiting BYU for a conference (in not mormon), and going through the culture shock of being in a 99.5% white atmosphere with no caffeine or alcohol and all the other typical mormonisms, it is nice to hear a pretty awesome stereotype about them. apparently everyone agrees: Mormons can Ball
Flint_McBeefchest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On Jah I'll break them ankles.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEZvRxJ-jeo
Pequeno_loco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:52 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thought this was a repost, but I saw a vid of the same thing not to long ago. Wonder if this i part of the Mormon's game.
zanthraxnl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:02 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they promised to got to church they should do so. Mormons are equally batshit crazy and genuinely good people.
Concealer11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even to this day, the hardest I've ever been schooled at basketball was by an elder in full missionary get up. Elder Dean Mills from Utah. Took 2 years off from BYU to come to shithole Jacksonville Florida to be a Mormon missionary.
ikilledtupac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:11 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those are mormons bro.
Ghenges ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn bruh. Dudes driving like Jerry West and doing Stockton layups n'shit. This is what happens when Weezy let skateboard culture infiltrate the hood. Pretty sure dreads over there can do a sick Jesus Flip into an ollie.
modeswings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:29 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was God's will
Counterkulture ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:29 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, this shit is why I live.
daspanda1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:42 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons can fucking BALL
InconspicuousD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain to me why it's so clear they're Mormons?
Davidmm18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:52 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The white button ups and the name tags. The name tags are the dead give away if you are still unsure take a closer look and the tag it should say "Elder" so and so.
reeleyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:40 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Breakin' ankles in Jesus' name
brodesto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10-6? Who plays up to 10?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Church Ball aka "The Not Fucking Around" crew.
soemreal_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:51 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and the treasurer thought the basketball court was a waste of money
LitterReallyAngersMe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Winning souls on soles.
PM-ME-UR-NIPS-GIRL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:56:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Stephen Curry?"
EDIT: Why all the downvotes. Jesus.
rlx02 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 16:19:00 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Lebron.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:32:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM-ME-UR-NIPS-GIRL ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:10:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For our sins maybe.
McBeastly3358 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:13:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, he has passed. But he will rise again in 4 months as a vengeful and fearsome God determined to expunge the world of nonbelievers.
urgentmatters ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:16:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tired of these Curry radicals shooting up our gyms
GigiReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:33:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think its brilliant
nuuvem_token ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:56 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's that played out af username
PM-ME-UR-NIPS-GIRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe it's Maybeline.
Quadip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovah Witnesses go to a "kingdom hall" not a church.
SeFlerz ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:28:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
good thing these guys are mormons not jw
Skiddoosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:42 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The mistake is understandable given the title of this post.
Lifeguard2012 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:41:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These guys are mormons, who go to a church.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it a temple?
Lifeguard2012 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Mormons go weekly to churches, which have Chapels, a "Cultural Hall" (basketball court), and classrooms. Anyone is welcome to come to these.
We also have temples, although those are more spread out and used for special ceremonies (like weddings, and other stuff). You have to be a member in good standing to enter (hold a "temple recommend")
Gaaaarrrryy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Not present' is completely different than 'not allowed.'
YourBabyDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was it these guys?
daoldmanvillage2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Son of the original G.
theunusualmadeusual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/5QKf6w1CaoU
Start at 50 seconds, if you've never seen this movie and your a fan of their work correct yourself!
gbtwo88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boy Josh from NC actually posted this on Facebook yesterday lol
KelloPudgerro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:46 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But all my years of movie and tv watching have taught me that black folks are gods at the hoop game
DisregardDisComment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:23 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet I could shred Milli Vanilli as well
highTrolla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:40 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those white layup drills.
The_Rejected_Stone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they lost, dumbass playing in sandals and jeans.
Taxi_Manager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who plays to 10?
aces08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:22 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit D
johnnyzito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:54 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fundamentals.
CamenSeider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:47 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While wearing dress shoes nonetheless.
smell_e ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:45 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No less?
icantagree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the white boys always good with fundamentals and basic ball playing knowledge
jabster5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:48 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best friend growing up was Mormon and he played and hustled harder than anyone on the court every time we played
ziggythebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Mormonism promotes sports and young athletes.
I wonder if they're trying to create professional athletes as a source of revenue.
ProfaneTank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:34 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tryna get dunked on?
Pinoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well the kid has flip flops on...
dirtyleft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Lord is full of miracles including giving white people the ability to jump
rabidfaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for them, they could have gone pro but there was no one to witness their talent whilst spreading the good word..
AllStarDevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:03 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They got dunked on in the name of the lord
IamBrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:38 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Breaking ankles with they prayers
sugpikkenmin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
QC baby
Ayyeeeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:28 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They gave up a strong hand drive smh
Bakkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those guys all look like they are straight out of the cast of Book of Mormon
GrizzyUnderwood33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if Jehovah's Witnesses witness it they're asses gon get it, too!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:09 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are all witnesses now.
WarpathII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:27 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This looks like a Key and Peele sketch
EatASnickerz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:12 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He did not come to be served He came to serve
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:25 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what are they gonna do if they don't show up on Sunday though?? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQ9AE6P5ERs
insipidgoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:32 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When ball is eternal life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:13 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Niggas should have lost ballin in jeans.
SmoothPrimal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:33 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They will eventually have a church full of black guys that suck at basketball.
TruStory2426 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:38 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Witnesses don't go to church, they go to the Kingdom Hall.
josephgene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:12 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormons are awesome at basketball. They have a court in every coven!
browseabout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:21 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give-and-go (to church)
CoolMachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:44 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Game: blouses
Rezaliverr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:56 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who only goes to 10 in pick-up?
GoodGuyPoorChoice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:59 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remember space jam? One of the guys whos power is stolen is Mormon.
starspider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:31 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People explaining that those are Mormons, simple and easy mistake to make.
Main exception to white guy bad at basketball trope.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:39 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D
The_Powers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:18 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Milli Vanilli got taken to church!
Idigthebackseat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:01 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Game ended at 10? Everywhere I know is to 11, win by 2.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:03 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this video of Mormon missionaries pulling out the surprise baller moves:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv5W1eFVtSs
secretlyacuttlefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:54 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL its a widely known fact that Mormons and great at all sports.
Liamrc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:09 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovas Witnesses came to my families house while we were in a vacation a few years back. They threw firewood at our guard dog (we leave firewood one side of the fence and dog in the other). We found firewood all over the place and a pamphlet tied to the fence.
solomanpark1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:24 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wolves in sheep's clothing...
gunnLX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ballin with the lord
TerrenceTas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol those are mormons.
therealjgreens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:19 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An old work buddy is a Mormon, and he said bball was huge for him growing up. He said it was really popular within his community.
mehraaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:30 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could someone explain why basketball apparently is a huge thing in the mormon community (in the States? Or worldwide?)? I've never met a mormon, it's far between meeting openly religious people here.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:59 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half-court basketball is the only sport they're allowed to play.
God only knows why.
cry_fat_kid_cry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's only for active missionaries, because the church feels that half court leads to less injuries, than full court.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:18 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah they don't do anything but pray and ball of course they're good
Darktidemage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:14:20 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not fair, they totally cheated I saw that one guy prayin ref. I seen it.
osborn2shred11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:14 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One thing I was fine with growing up Mormon was all the basketball we played. Pretty much everything else sucked.
dwyfor16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think Mormons are walking around rolling their eyes at the stereotype that all Mormons can dunk?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Underdonetoast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:28:53 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon missionaries get a bad rap because once a year they'll knock on your door and invite you to talk about God, which apparently is rude. P.S next year I'll be a missionary can't wait
cry_fat_kid_cry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:26 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going out next year too.
Lucriox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:53:17 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I leave August 3rd for Tokyo
TheBestEndOfTheDay ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is rude. Very rude. No one gives a shit about your religion
Underdonetoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:31 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol and you say we're rude
robdohchannel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:24:47 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's your problem? Once a year, you need to tell a pair of Mormons that you don't want to discuss their religion.
TheBestEndOfTheDay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:26:57 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the rest. They are just salesmen in my eyes. And when they come to my door when I'm trying to eat my dinner it's not nice. It's very rude.
robdohchannel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:49 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you must be miserable.
Burn-E_B ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:09:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I witnessed something like that, I would go to there church too.
Michaelscot8 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:30:27 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If there're two things I've learned in life, it's never bet more than $5 on C9, and don't play a jeohovas witness at basketball without expecting to lose.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
~~God ball is life
rsnellings25 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:46:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who plays games to 10?
ethernetcord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:57:41 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First game is to 15 subsequent to 11.
rsnellings25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, nah nah. All games to 11 or 12 if people are waiting and last game goes to 16.
kesekimofo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:50 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hit him with the cross.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:58:43 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crossed up
CAKE_EATER251 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:43:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kicking ass and saving souls
CAKE_EATER251 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:44:05 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doing the Lord's work
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:01:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lord has smited thee with the power of the holy trinity: Kobe, Jordan, and the newest of the archangels Curry!
CeliacWalrus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:22:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On my high school basketball team 9 of of the 12 players were Mormon, and our starting 5 were all related. We ended up going 11-11 in our league playing schools twice and triple our size.
They can ball
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the_sammyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:09 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate hate hate hate
Erectionspecialist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:10:45 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Theses guys come to my house and I invite them in and we play spades (the Mormons).
Erectionspecialist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:11:24 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know their names. Just elder.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:13:57 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TMW Jimmer Fredette is going door to door
ronryan4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:39 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best Mormon basketball team since the 2011 BYU Men
phd2k1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:12:06 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Never play basketball with Mormons
The_Nermal_One ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:27:12 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovah Witness... Mormon missionaries... nah all those white Christian cults are the same!
DownvoteDaemon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:19 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They didn't know you were sarcastic
I_Like_Your_Pooper ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:30 on June 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, black people, amirite? WTF is up with this sub...
EvolvingTortoise ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:10:07 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must have on their Air Jehovahs on.
codevii ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:58 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do NOT like the Jehovah's Witnesses (My grandmother got caught up) but if you make the bet, you gotta come through! Have fun at your "Meeting"!
natertater23 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:16:37 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My family used to be part of the Jรฉhovah witnesses and they do not really approve of sports...
JTibbs ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:55 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovah Witnesses don't t approve of people being HAPPY, let alone playing sports.
Anything that distracts you from affirming your slavery to God and his strictures is evil. Except for 'donating' to the Church leaders though. They need your money... because reasons. Maybe having money makes you evil and they are trying to save you at the expense of their selves.
Fenrime ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:15 on June 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jehovahs Witnesses cant talk to girls, play sports, use the internet, or become involved in worldly activities.