M'artini

theresaholeinmyshirt · 81 points · Posted at 14:56:35 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Now I finally know what I'll serve for my new year's party!

^Which ^will ^be ^held ⁱⁿ ^my ^mom's ^basement

^{^Does} ^{^anyone} ^{^want} ^{^to} ^{^come?}

^{^{^pls}} ^{^{^respond}}

[deleted] · 31 points · Posted at 15:11:39 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

invite m'lady

theresaholeinmyshirt · 55 points · Posted at 15:20:58 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Great idea! Off to gonewild I am!

infectedsponge · 15 points · Posted at 19:16:41 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Don't forget to tip!

SigSauer93 · 6 points · Posted at 22:15:58 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

nah shes probably with some muscle clad douche who treats her like shit

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 21:32:18 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Time to invite all the maidens you rescued from douchebags on the internet!!

NATESOR · 118 points · Posted at 14:27:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

http://needsmorejpeg.com/i/b4s9.jpeg . Glad I could help!

SpacePhallus2001 · 15 points · Posted at 05:07:36 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Original image if anyone wants it.

http://i.imgur.com/9pJK2kh.jpg

megabronco · 87 points · Posted at 16:59:54 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

You would be doing gods work, son.

If god existed.

IVEMIND · 6 points · Posted at 22:36:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

It looks like individual gradient algorithms color and shade the pixels within the small boxes

Is that how it works?

[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 04:54:40 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Thank you. So much more cinematic.

[deleted] · -22 points · Posted at 17:03:52 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

[removed]

[deleted] · -18 points · Posted at 18:23:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Found the retard

SuicideMurderPills · 3 points · Posted at 21:56:31 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

what did he say?

SJW_and_proud · -20 points · Posted at 18:41:23 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

That's not funny. R u 12 dude

[deleted] · -20 points · Posted at 18:45:31 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Awww sorry

SJW_and_proud · -26 points · Posted at 18:47:56 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Better be sorry. At my college I actually joined the effort to end the R word. It is so stupid

[deleted] · -15 points · Posted at 18:50:07 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Ahhh you're one of those. See I don't really care. Words are words. And if you get offended by then you're weak. Now unless you're actually mentally disabled, I'm calling you a retard

CrotchFungus · 5 points · Posted at 19:19:58 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

This comment chain gave me cancer

Mister_Guacamole · 1 points · Posted at 15:45:01 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

I need to throw up.

StrawberryJamal · -6 points · Posted at 19:12:58 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

You do realize you're feeding a troll right now, right?

infectedsponge · -12 points · Posted at 19:14:50 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

EPIC XD

Epicshark · -7 points · Posted at 09:31:27 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Can I have some downvotes too?

Funklord_Earl · 367 points · Posted at 15:00:01 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

So, there's 3 possible scenarios that this was created.

The creator of this drink actually thought this was a good idea.
The creator of this drink has both Doritos and Mountain Dew in their house yet is making a joke about people who like Doritos and Mountain Dew.
The creator of this drink went out and bought Doritos and Mountain Dew for the sake of an internet joke.

The way I see it, no matter what OP is a true neckbeard.

I tip my fedora euphorically, good sir.

🎙️ GriffinTheMaster · 31 points · Posted at 20:02:06 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

M'other is proud of all the karma I've gotten Plebs

EnemyZoned · 45 points · Posted at 15:57:39 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

_4. The creator of this drink lives with someone or was visiting someone who had both Doritos and Mountain Dew available and spontaneously did this for the sake of an internet joke.

It's the least likely option and at the very least, OP is a relative or friend of a neckbeard.

(Fucking reddit not letting me start a list at anything other than 1)

Funklord_Earl · 71 points · Posted at 16:13:19 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I didn't even consider OP might have friends or loved ones.

[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 19:59:26 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

KuribohGirl · 10 points · Posted at 23:34:22 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Holy motherfucking fuck that persson is identical to my ex and may be him. Holy fuck.

robotortoise · 5 points · Posted at 03:39:29 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Uh....I'm pretty sure that's a M'lady.

KuribohGirl · 3 points · Posted at 03:49:22 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Is it? 0.o

MiMMFace · 5 points · Posted at 07:26:05 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Is there something you're not telling us?

JayEster · 10 points · Posted at 17:40:53 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Might be his mother's house

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 18:05:14 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Does eating a certain snack food instantly make someone a neckbeard?

EnemyZoned · 22 points · Posted at 18:17:04 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Yes. From zero to neckbeard in one dorito bite.

[deleted] · 88 points · Posted at 16:22:02 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I tip my fedora euphorically, good sir.

I just spit some doritos all over my screen.

AlcoholicJesus · 51 points · Posted at 17:32:01 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Better grab the cumsock and pad the dampness

raffytraffy · 11 points · Posted at 19:53:03 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I inhaled more deeply through my nose than usual, and breathed in a fine mist of Dorito powder.

Kindhamster · 9 points · Posted at 18:34:23 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

The creator was attending or hosting a party at which both Dew and Doritos were available, and made this drink.

Funklord_Earl · -7 points · Posted at 18:53:32 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Haha.

That's a pretty cool sounding party.

Kindhamster · 6 points · Posted at 19:09:37 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

They're both pretty popular. You'd be hard-pressed to find a house party without at least one.

FUKindhamster · -1 points · Posted at 19:25:15 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Just wanted to let you know, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. YOU RUINED MY CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS! THE TIFU IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!

Kindhamster · 6 points · Posted at 19:29:42 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I'm honoured that you care enough to create a special account just to attack me.

Seriously, I'm flattered.

xquazimodo · 3 points · Posted at 19:33:54 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

What did you do? Or what does he think you did?

Kindhamster · 3 points · Posted at 19:39:17 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

They posted a fake, obviously copied story on /r/TIFU, and then got all buttmad when I pointed that out.

losingabet · -1 points · Posted at 19:49:26 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

It wasn't a fake story, can you prove it was?

Lukas_Fehrwight · 1 points · Posted at 05:24:49 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Can you prove it was true?

losingabet · 1 points · Posted at 05:47:35 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

It was in a deleted TIFU comment I made because a user was harassing me.

Lukas_Fehrwight · 0 points · Posted at 05:54:28 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Yeah, that doesn't answer my question at all.

Funklord_Earl · -4 points · Posted at 20:35:32 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Haha.

Well, I'm not in middle school anymore so you might be right.

Ricketycrick · 5 points · Posted at 20:51:27 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Your lack of knowledge has less to do with not being in middle school and more to do with never getting invited to house parties

Funklord_Earl · -3 points · Posted at 20:56:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Yep.

You got me.

Next time I get invited to a party I'll be sure to ask if I should bring either Doritos or Mountain Dew.

Ricketycrick · 2 points · Posted at 22:07:40 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

The first time you get invited to a party you'll realize that GASP the dude throwing the house party still has a normal everyday pantry

Fudgms · 9 points · Posted at 22:13:32 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)*

Yeah this sub seems to forget that doritos/cheetos and mountain dew are still tasty. You just shouldn't have an unhealthy obsession with them.

piankolada · 2 points · Posted at 14:08:49 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Mtn dew is pretty tasty tho.

_kapeesh · 0 points · Posted at 23:06:47 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Reposted this.
On this sub

Neckbeard confirmed.

gorram85 · 52 points · Posted at 12:00:51 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Holy shit, grab your world of Warcraft and fedora, we gotta go to gamestop and stock up on this.

[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 14:29:28 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Omar3437 · 27 points · Posted at 01:57:38 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Hey r u single :)

Plz reply. Btw I'm a lvl 169 warlock in WoW!

Edit: did you get my PM? Its been 20 mins and you didn't reply. I know you're here because you keep posting.

Edit 2: I just want to be friends, why are you ignoring me?

Edit 3: okay I get it whatever you know what? I don't deserve to be treated this way. I was just trying to be a nice guy and you're ignoring me... Fine.. I'll take the hint and leave....

Edit 4: hey I saw the new message indicator and I think it was orange but when I clicked it it said empty?? Did you reply to me apologizing asking me not to leave and reddit just broke? It's okay I forgive you. I'll PM you again.

Edit 5: so why are you ignoring that too after making that post begging me to come back? You know what? I see what's happening here. You're just messing with me. Oh haha very funny. Pick on the nice guy who only wanted to help. I bet your gym rat FunDiE reLIEgious boyfriend is there making you do this... You fucking bitch. Why do you date assholes like him instead of me? Why do you let him tell you to mess with me when I'm the only one out of us who actually respects you. I know why, because you're a dumb, impressionable slut who is probably only with him cause he's rich or has a big dick. Well fuck you too then you dumb cunt of a whore. Un tip fedora By atheism im friendzoned again :(

[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 03:33:08 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

This gentlesir needs more upvotes.

JoshuMertens · 2 points · Posted at 02:36:50 on December 29, 2014 · (Permalink)

I crie eevrytiem

abchiptop · 11 points · Posted at 15:51:21 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

/u/Carmen-, take a seat. We've gathered here together because we're worried about you. I've gathered some other friends and they've written things to you. It's not too late to get help. We care about you

[deleted] · 24 points · Posted at 16:33:28 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)*

[deleted]

Imalurkerwhocomments · 3 points · Posted at 18:37:14 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Could've at least gotten a better WoW shirt, you've lost your neckbeard card.

ArtsyTLF · 6 points · Posted at 14:19:48 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Console peasant

IGotAKnife · 14 points · Posted at 14:29:55 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

But Gamestop has steam gift cards

NotSoSlenderMan · 3 points · Posted at 15:15:02 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Copy that.

mickio1 · 13 points · Posted at 17:54:17 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

im more wondering how he put that bloody doritos on the galss without shattering it to pieces.

chew242 · 3 points · Posted at 18:40:30 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

This is going to bug me now. How the hell did they do that?

Kobemamba24 · 9 points · Posted at 20:44:16 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

He got it wet

Lukas_Fehrwight · 3 points · Posted at 05:29:21 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Sharp knife, slowly sawing into it?

mickio1 · 1 points · Posted at 22:04:20 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

with patience and a very small knife

maverick__7 · 32 points · Posted at 17:01:43 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Tried to duplicate this. Got confused. Results were different.

kyle_gibson · 13 points · Posted at 19:21:41 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

That looks truly disgusting.

bjrni · 2 points · Posted at 08:25:24 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Just drink it with a straw :)

FlappyTheNarwhal · 5 points · Posted at 19:25:38 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

is it virgin?

[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 20:51:01 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Not anymore

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:32:59 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

*Wizard

duox7142 · 3 points · Posted at 14:57:32 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Has anyone tried a margarita with good old euphoric Dew? Would be the ultimate neckbeard beverage.

SirChurch · 6 points · Posted at 18:29:14 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I've always called that the NASCAR-ita

kimpossible69 · 1 points · Posted at 18:59:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Mountain Dew and a bottle of forgotten booze is like a middle school cocktail.

explodyboompow · 1 points · Posted at 07:34:00 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

Don't pretend you didn't drink Vodka and mountain dew when you were in Highschool. This is the internet, you don't have to lie.

Christophurious · 3 points · Posted at 19:37:47 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Im not a fan of Vodka ... How about about a M'argarita?

Gryffonophenomenon · 5 points · Posted at 19:55:14 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

gin martinis man fuck vodka

Killermuffin562 · 2 points · Posted at 17:50:34 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

/r/allthingsMLG /r/montageparodies

Kittenclysm · 2 points · Posted at 19:33:47 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Is Mtn. Dew actually any good with alcohol?

A_Traumatised_Man · 3 points · Posted at 21:16:49 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I think I read on TIL once that Mtn. Dew was made specifically as a mixer for Jack Daniels. Go test it and post results.

WhoopyKush · 2 points · Posted at 22:28:43 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

It's basically a citrus drink, so any mixed drink that has a large citrus component can use it. Margarita, whiskey sour, screwdriver, maybe even gin-n-juice. I like it, but I'm not all that picky - so long as it has alcohol and isn't utterly disgusting, I'll happily drink it.

hjklhlkj · 2 points · Posted at 19:44:12 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I think you have to drink the alcohol before.

Kittenclysm · 2 points · Posted at 19:46:50 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

FUCK ME FOR ASKING YOU GODDAMN NECKBEARDS A SERIOUS QUESTION

Hitlrrr · 1 points · Posted at 22:36:09 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

It tastes fine I'd say. I've mixed about every beverage there is with booze in my time. They all get you drunk.

Porkasaurus_Rex · 2 points · Posted at 01:14:56 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

The drink of the Lizard Squad.

[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 21:33:53 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

I don't think I have ever seen mountain dew in real life. (I live in Denmark) If I ever did see it in real life, I would immediately think of neckbeards because of you guys. xD

bubbles_says · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:46 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Mountini

PM_Me_Your_SissyPic · 1 points · Posted at 21:39:22 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Mountini

SuicideMurderPills · 1 points · Posted at 21:57:05 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

How did you cut the chip without it breaking?

Fudgms · 3 points · Posted at 22:18:31 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Katana

Hitlrrr · 1 points · Posted at 22:34:15 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

It's gotta be M'tini. M'artini sounds exactly the same. On another note, I saw a big fat tall guy wearing a fedora with a pink butterfly on it at the Bartell Drugs today. I didn't have a camera. Unfortunately. It was the first one I've ever seen in the wild. At least since I've known how to identify them.

akbrag91 · 1 points · Posted at 05:26:27 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

That is classy AF for a fappin' good time on a Friday night.

weezermc78 · 1 points · Posted at 14:19:24 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:31:30 on December 28, 2014 · (Permalink)

This is happening.

Edit: pun sounded better in my head, so I made this comment boring instead.

killing_buddhas · 1 points · Posted at 16:03:09 on December 30, 2014 · (Permalink)

This is OK with me.

d2tz · 1 points · Posted at 15:57:45 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

holy shit does mountain dew actually look like that

Erj2969 · 3 points · Posted at 17:45:28 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Yes they're actually well designed so no one can tell they are piss jugs after use.

Pleb

selectrix · 1 points · Posted at 18:14:44 on December 27, 2014 · (Permalink)

Admit it- you went though a whole bag of doritos trying to cut the slit into it so it'd fit on the rim of the glass.