GKrollin ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 12:20:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at:
"Now stop. Forget everything you just read. Why?
Because we are enemies. Did you forget? That I am teaching you how to lose to me, the author of The Art of War 2, in battle. So if you remembered anything I just wrote, you just lost again. Again you lose to me, The Art of War 2. But do not worry, thatโs not important right nowโฆ Why?
Because whatโs important is knowledge. The knowledge that you have gained from reading The Art of War 2."
His writing sounds like a badly dubbed kung fu film.
"Haha! Again you have lost to me, the author of the Art of War 2, sequel to the Art of War 1, by the author Sun Tzu, author of the Art of War 1. Fool."
All while the characters' mouths are still speaking some other language.
GKrollin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:11:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't have messed with Kenneth the Dragon, author of The Art of War 2, sequel to The Art of War 1. That will cause your death because we are enemies, you and I, the author of the The Art of War 2.
EOverM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that sentence structure is awful. He clearly has no fucking clue how to use punctuation, instead just coating his prose liberally with it, like olive oil on crisp roast potatoes.
The Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses: The Story of the Artist and the Warrior's Fated Rise towards the Dawn of their Planet.
The Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses: The Story of the Artist and the Warrior's Fated Rise 2: Electric Boogaloo, Part 1: Havana Nights and Part 2: First Blood and Part 3: First Blood Part 2.
One of thousands of sentences like this from his website:
Do you want to win because victory is guaranteed if you are truly skilled in The Art of War 2 written by me the author and owner of the authorship of this book, The Art of War 2
What the fuck is this guy on?
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 07:37:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've written better shit after being awake for 3 days
"[This book] is a maze, a labyrinth, a Chapter designed to entrap you within the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning for I am the author of The Art of War 2."
You can't catch me because if you run after me then you admit that I have won. You can't stop me because if you try to stop me then you admit you have already run. You can't not lose to me because then you admit that I've already won. You can't run from me because by reading this website I've placed a cookie onto your phone that tells me where you are at all times. You can't stop reading because I've successfully logic'd the brain out of you. You can't pass go and collect $200 because this isn't Monopoly, it's war. And I'm the author of the Art of War 2. Did you catch the error I made in the second sentence? Then the error was not by me, but by you for continuing to read. You've lost again! Did you not catch it? Then you won! What did you win? The feeling of hopelessness, because you believe for a second that you won, when you cannot win against me! Why? Because I'm a retard.
"Do not lose that knowledge for it will help you lose again to me in the next battle contained within The Art of War 2. Because- Stop right here. Stay focused. Please stay focused. I mean it this time. Focus everything you have on this: What exactly are you doing right now? Answer that question."
I want to believe he is not...
Zeius ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 15:27:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want there to be a cop show on TV about a hard-boiled detective who lives and plays by his own rules: "Cole's Law". Also, he really really loves coleslaw and he rates all the restaurants in the city by how good their coleslaw is.
I feel sorry for this guy, and the fact that some people are even taking it seriously, or pretending to, is probably harmful to his mental health as well.
Yes, I respect the guy for what he managed to program there of course!
wm07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:32 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yea I think a lot of the people that get ridiculed on the internet have mental health issues. my brother has a serious personality disorder and has posted some extremely ridiculous/embarrassing shit on youtube and such, and i'm honestly scared that r/cringe could find it and make a mockery of him.
His work doesn't seem intelligent enough to be the work of a schizophrenic honestly. Schizophrenics can still maintain some logical consistency, but this guy is just making word salad.
sk3lut0r ยท 307 points ยท Posted at 04:31:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because we are enemies. Did you forget? That I am teaching you how to lose to me, the author of The Art of War 2, in battle. So if you remembered anything I just wrote, you just lost again. Again you lose to me, The Art of War 2. But do not worry, thatโs not important right nowโฆ Why?".
What in the absolute fuck. This hs to be a joke, because he has like 5 paragraphs of him consistently talking about the reader being defeated by the author of the art of war 2...
Fnog: Perhaps. But there is more to winning than beating your opponent. You lack the will of the warrior.
Leela: What do you mean? Watch this!
[She kicks Bill in the stomach.]
Bill: [crying] Ow!
Fnog: No girl has the will of a warrior. You have the will of a housewife or, at best, the schoolmarm.
Leela: That's it. I'll take you on right now.
Fnog: Very well. But, you see, I have the will of the warrior. Therefore, the battle is already over. The winner? Me! [He laughs.] Rematch? You lose again! Had enough? I thought so!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:30:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna see me win a battle?
Wanna see me do it again?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:14:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fully expect him to come out in a few years saying "ahaaaaa it was totally a comedy! Of course I meant that! What you thought it was serious? You silly goose!" and noone to believe a word of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
theanav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"As you can see, the text is getting denser and denser like a math problem that is going out of control. Why? Because this is a maze, a labyrinth, a Chapter designed to entrap you within the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning for I am the author of The Art of War 2."
I don't know, i think it's pretty common for young teenagers to believe stuff like this.
For instance, when i was 14, i genuinely believed that in was the smartest person in the world. I'm just really glad that the internet wasn't as all encompassing then as it is today, considering the cringey stuff i said.
lf27 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:27:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lf27 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:01:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well how can you be the smartest in the world if that title truly belongs to me? I've got an IQ of 210, which I received in the 3rd grade, but I'm sure it's been growing ever since. According to this graph I've derived, y=210x+210, I should be in the thousands of IQs right now!
Nerfi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:18:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to stick through it. In principle 7/6/8 he unlearns what ordered sets are.
You did not expect principle 7 would start with principle 6 in this book on the art of warfare, which guarantees victory for those who study it diligently enough such as myself. That is why you have lost again my enemy.
Now, some will say โHey! I predicted that.โ BUT. You did not realize that this is actuallyโฆ
PRINCIPLE 8.
The Chapters 6 and 7 will be discussed later. You donโt need to worry about it for now. But I do. I worry about principles 6 and 7 the most actually, out of all of the first 8 or 9 principles I worry about them the most. Why?"
Wow!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only really skimmed, so perhaps I missed some truly enlightened writing...BUT, I've also never seen a writer refer to the book they're currently writing so often. I'm pretty confident that "The Art of War 2" is the most common phrase in The Art of War 2.
snacks27 ยท 392 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This tweet from his account (@kennethttran): "I just found out I have mild Autism.. this gives me a huge strategic advantage.. #chess" This makes sense, because he also claims to banner for House Lannister, FWIW.
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He posted something similar on FB after he got called autistic in the AMA then shared the AMA on Fb too
Yeah he said something like it was a strategic advantage because it made him unpredictable. Guess we've been foiled again, another loss in the art of war 2.
[deleted] ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 11:23:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend said I was definitely in the artistic spectrum it was so strange of her to give me such a lovely compliment in the middle of an argument
jusjerm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please help. I can't remember what that is from
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"never let the enemy know you are warring against them" (...) "Does a tiger fear that a tree will wage a war against the tiger? No. It is just a tree. BUT- What would happen if the tree fell on the tiger?
The tiger would have lost the war quickly and swiftly"
You did not expect principle 7 would start with principle 6 in this book on the art of warfare, which guarantees victory for those who study it diligently enough such as myself. That is why you have lost again my enemy.
Now, some will say โHey! I predicted that.โ BUT. You did not realize that this is actuallyโฆ
PRINCIPLE 8.
omg what
itogisch ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 12:08:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its like he tries to put plot twists in his book like a 5 year old would. You thought you were eating a banana but it was actually an APPLE. But the jokes on you since the apple was actually a green orange...
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:07:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of reminds me that joke Louis C.K. tells about his daughter's jokes.
Davelulz ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 07:13:59 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"While I do not disagree with Sun Tzu, because this is the sequel to his book, I also agree with him in the sense that I guarantee victory for those truly skilled in The Art of War 2."
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of soco, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there are many things/people in existence that named themselves. Reddit loves that thing about the brain having named itself but beyond wider concepts like "brain", "human" and so on anyone/thing with a name was given it by someone else.
Do Feral children and the like give themselves names/sounds? Do some animals have sounds they use to refer to themselves? I'm off on a total tangent now but sort of interested.
edit: I've googled this and some animals definitely use "names" to refer to each other but it's not clear to me if there are any cases where they name themselves rather than other animals named them.
"I received some magical seeing stones which I put in a hat so I can read divine texts. And then everyone at the bar clapped and I found a hundred dollars."
doowi1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Canadian girlfriend and she totally exists. -Joseph Smith
Dovah907 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He gave himself his own nickname and says its not logical for someone else to give you a nickname. This tells me so much, in such clear detail, that you could call me a genius "Logician". He has no one in his life that would ever give him a nickname. Now, im not saying he is lonely and that nobody loves him because he has no social skills. Perhaps, his IQ is too high for him to be around anybody else. He is constantly reminded by how stupid humanity is and thus prefers being with an astral projection of himself. He can generate this astral projection because of the raw power of his brain. He then can engage in mentally stimulating conversation with himself in the 5th dimension, in his white clean padded room, to avoid distractions. The astral projection then gave him his nickname, so in a sense he did give himself his own nickname.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:47:55 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mister soft owl has seen some shit" always gets to me.
hrld ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:43:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am now writing in non-linear logic. I gave you that hint. That tip. Why? Because I want to win the next battle as well. Because did you forget? We are enemies. And I play to win. So why did I give you a hint that is true? Simple. Because I forgot. I forgot not that we are enemies, but I forgot that I studied The Art of War 2 so diligently that I remembered everything so in fact I did not forget anything here in this moment and at least many more moments both before and after this moment. Now the first moment or second moment, but the moments in between those moments, and the moments before and after those moments. I remembered because I diligently studied The Art of War 2. Are you amazed at my great memory? You shouldnโt be. Why?"
Minder1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:46:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading his site is unbearable, all he does find as many ways to say "The Art of War 2" as he possibly can. The following excerpts are all from the same post on his blog
Did you keep it a secret? Did you diligently study The Art of War 2?
Itโs your fault for losing to me, the author of The Art of War 2, because I am victorious again and again.
a Chapter designed to entrap you within the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning for I am the author of The Art of War 2.
He contradicts himself constantly
From principle 6: always seek knowledge
I donโt believe in learning for the sake of learning
Now during those five minutes I want you to read. Read this Chapter and read Principle 6 of The Art of War 2. You only get five minutes to do this.
I demand you continue reading even after the five minutes have ended and the 6th minute has begun
Maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand this. After all, I can't even remember that we are enemies
Because we are enemies. Did you forget?
Because did you forget? We are enemies.
Because you forgot that we are enemies,
Forget that we are enemies?
The moment you forget that we are enemies you have lost. Now I know, I know for a fact, that you have just lost
This guy is a troll. A very dedicated one at that.
"Now you understand why the future is unpredictable. Because, now what if that tiger happened to be a very rich tiger who could afford to buy an alarm clock? I say rich, because the average tiger has no money, itโs just a tiger. It doesnโt need money, itโs a tiger.
Please stay focused."
Frungy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:51:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the website. Fuck. Me. This guy is batshit crazy insane.
The ramblings. Oh my god. I don't even know where to start.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:59:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is BEYOND mental. "iq of 140+ (really? not a defined number?) that you recieved in 5th grade" did someone give it to you? were you bequeathed it by the rest of your 140+ member family giving you all of their iq? Also his site (yes it's real wtf) is pretty dumb. If you're going to try to school me in the art of war, at least sound like you know something and don't say "let's school our enemies" like a gangster.
After reading just a little bit of his book, I'm confident that he knows how to war better than everyone. He has obviously been in war, and knows how to defeat anyone that would war with him.
This has to be a troll. How the fuck do you write art of war 2 if you're a neckbeard sitting in his mommys basement, who's never experienced any fight, let alone any military experience? Perhaps he wrote Art of Tendies: The Struggle Against Mommy
itogisch ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:09:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude come on. He played at least 3 hours of Rome total war on easy. Didnt you read his principle about attacking head on? Fuck strategy. Just attack head on. It is the shortest way to victory.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:19:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because to someone smart enough theory is just as good or even better than any real world experience. Why would I need to experience a fight when I know exactly how some one would respond to my tactics in a fight?
Before the fight has even started the winner has been decided by the side with the superior intellect.
I discuss this idea further in my classic novel "The Art of War 3: War in Space (Love?)"
So if you did just follow my example and tried to make a jump in logic, across the logical cliff, then you fell into my trap. Now you just lost. You just lost if you followed my example which I am going to assume you did because somewhere in this text which may be a later Chapter or may even be in a previous Chapter there is a note that says follow my instructions and my instructions are I, the author of The Art of War 2. Why? Because I practice what I instruct. I practice it upon you, the reader of The Art of War 2, so now you must decide whether the knowledge is worthwhile to acquire. Do you want to win because victory is guaranteed if you are truly skilled in The Art of War 2 written by me the author and owner of the authorship of this book, The Art of War 2.
"You just lost if you followed my example which I am going to assume you did because somewhere in this text which may be a later Chapter or may even be in a previous Chapter there is a note that says follow my instructions and my instructions are I, the author of The Art of War 2."
You did not expect principle 7 would start with principle 6 in this book on the art of warfare, which guarantees victory for those who study it diligently enough such as myself. That is why you have lost again my enemy.
Now, some will say โHey! I predicted that.โ BUT. You did not realize that this is actuallyโฆ
Did you guys scroll down to the bottom where there's a bunch of fellow verysmarters jerking about how they're also all so smart but yet so dumb?
Why do you think having an IQ of 140+ makes you special? My IQ is higher than that and I'm a fucking moron.
I also really like this guy that thinks it takes a high IQ to remember TV shows:
Seriously it feels like higher IQ only makes me be a higher functioning piece of shit. Like, I can remember a scene from that one TV show I watched 15 years ago and that is the peak of my brain.
Or this one:
I can not even remember things very well, i can code very well tho, which i guess is something.
SJ_RED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:10 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone wanting to check this fuckstick's bullshit out without giving him a click: https://archive.is/YTedH
pyro110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
from his website: "For Sun Tzu himself, who I have diligently supported by writing the sequel to his book The Art of War 2 which comes after The Art of War 1, although you can read The Art of War 2 by itself OR in reverse chronological order"
SuzLouA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We still mock a friend of ours for trying to give himself his own nickname. You do not get to choose your own nickname (unless it's a common one, like Dave for David). You tolerate the nickname your friends bestow upon you. That's how it works.
"For Sun Tzu himself, who I have diligently supported by writing the sequel to his book The Art of War 2 which comes after The Art of War 1, although you can read The Art of War 2 by itself OR in reverse chronological order."
"I have an IQ of +140 which I received in 5th grade. That's all you need to know."
He's absolutely right, after saying that I don't want to know anymore about him.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:50:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:35 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People here absolutely hate when others see through the satire/trolling. If you removed all the posts that weren't truly people pretending to be smart there would be like no content. The circlejerk here is real.
Saved comment
darth_tiffany ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are getting a little too personal with this guy. We've already had one user attempt to doxx him. This isn't funny anymore. Sorry.
jordan853 ยท 1885 points ยท Posted at 00:27:57 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol referring to Sun Tzu's book "The art of war 1"
It's really hard to pick a favourite in the art of war series. My favorite is probably "the art of war 4: Tokyo drift" but they are all good.
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 957 points ยท Posted at 01:13:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art 2 War 2
Shadowwolfe96 ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo Wartoo?
No_Warhawkz ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 05:12:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Resurgence
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 13:31:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Revengance
sniper84 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 13:44:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Clash of Clan Wars
FrankDday ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 13:55:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Texas Blood Money
EmmettChan ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 13:58:35 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Genysieys
JessieJ577 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 14:04:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dawn of the rise of the age of the art of war
SIacktivist ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 14:33:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War (2017 reboot)
stravadarius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring Ben Affleck as Sun Tzu
Cletus_Van_Damme23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:05:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War 2: Electric Waraloo
PM_ME_UR_CEPHALOPODS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two Arts, One War : The Tryhard Edition
Cletus_Van_Damme23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:26:07 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ART of War 2: Mission to Moscow
God_Damnit_Nappa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:04:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of Wars
KeyMastar ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:32:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War V: The Phantom Tzu
The_Mountain_Puncher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War: Portable Ops
Lugiawolf ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 06:39:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo Waterloo: finally stuffing the french
wannahakaluigi ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 08:22:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Et tu, Wartoo?
diphiminaids ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 14:36:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo Wartoo 2: electric boogaloo
laabeja ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:04:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War- The Final Battle
redditwhut ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 11:33:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo Deetoo. FTFY
henriquelicori ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:49:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
isn't that the robot from star wars?
IzzardtheLizard ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:27:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo thanks
KuntaStillSingle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Artoo Wartwo, Eccentric Weraboo
YLOS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:37:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, R2D2
uniketrip ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 08:47:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2Art4War
PresidentChauncey ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:35:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really liked War7, even though they had to recreate Sun Tzu in CGI, it was really touching
Rasmus_TheE ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:53:47 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2Art2War
theguybadinlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art4War
BattleNub89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:01 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 War or not 2 War, Art is the Question.
Mitch2511 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:27 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
War 5
Masked_Death ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:07:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting for Art 3 or Art 2 War 3.
yummyyummypowwidge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:04 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 Art 2 War: Electric Waraloo
Glu7enFree ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 05:54:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Art of War 2: Electric Boogaloo
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:42:57 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This took way too long
CorkyKribler ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:28:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We gotta save the community center!"
breakdances
GKrollin ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 12:20:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it at:
"Now stop. Forget everything you just read. Why?
Because we are enemies. Did you forget? That I am teaching you how to lose to me, the author of The Art of War 2, in battle. So if you remembered anything I just wrote, you just lost again. Again you lose to me, The Art of War 2. But do not worry, thatโs not important right nowโฆ Why?
Because whatโs important is knowledge. The knowledge that you have gained from reading The Art of War 2."
cringe_n_creep ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 13:10:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His writing sounds like a badly dubbed kung fu film.
"Haha! Again you have lost to me, the author of the Art of War 2, sequel to the Art of War 1, by the author Sun Tzu, author of the Art of War 1. Fool."
All while the characters' mouths are still speaking some other language.
GKrollin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:11:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/ldDxDHHGB6A
youtubefactsbot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:12:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bot info
electrelephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god the naruto run
hexane360 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:05:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/5hXu7PdeQSo
cantCme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because no one linked police academy yet:
https://youtu.be/Ywta5oyv9dg
PIG_CUNT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dying, haha
cringe_n_creep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:31 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't have messed with Kenneth the Dragon, author of The Art of War 2, sequel to The Art of War 1. That will cause your death because we are enemies, you and I, the author of the The Art of War 2.
enigmo666 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:39:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hammer time
PIG_CUNT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:58:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
EOverM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, that sentence structure is awful. He clearly has no fucking clue how to use punctuation, instead just coating his prose liberally with it, like olive oil on crisp roast potatoes.
PIG_CUNT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha
DoomyMcDoomdoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's like an old Dickens book where he thinks he'll be paid by the number of words or times he can say the book's own title?
jer706 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 01:59:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fate of the Art of War
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:10:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses.
athiktos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:13:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses: The Story of the Artist and the Warrior's Fated Rise.
Karpattata ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:14:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fate/Stay Night of the Art of War.
BertMacGyver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:59:47 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Rise of the Dawn of the Planet of the Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses: The Story of the Artist and the Warrior's Fated Rise towards the Dawn of their Planet.
cringe_n_creep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Fate of the Art of the War of the Roses: The Story of the Artist and the Warrior's Fated Rise 2: Electric Boogaloo, Part 1: Havana Nights and Part 2: First Blood and Part 3: First Blood Part 2.
BRBasicSpencer ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 08:02:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really liked how they shortened the title with "Warious 7"
i_dont_shine ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:42:47 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like Zapp Branigan's Big Book of War.
RiseofBubblez ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:01:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War 2: The Quickening
JHarbo327 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:01:51 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do your allegiances lie?
SubduedRhombus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:50:01 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone get ready for this year's new COD: Art of war 2!
zitcream ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:08:05 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
art of war 7: revengeance
shvelo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War Rising: Revengeance
Cige ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:34:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War
Hedgy693 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:03 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of war too, electric boogaloo
douko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember, "The Art & War", "Art 5", and "Art & War 6" are technically prequels to "The Art of War 4: Tokyo Drift."
mothzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean "Art Of W4r"
PresidentCapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which Art of War? The original, the 1992 reboot or the 2017 reboot?
flooronthefour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:31 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here is a tasty morsel from his book, Art of War 2: http://www.artofwar2.com/principle-88-of-88-you-can-do-all-things-through-he-who-strengthens-us/
dood98998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War 2: electric Deathaloo
Osoguineapig ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 07:36:10 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of thousands of sentences like this from his website:
What the fuck is this guy on?
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 07:37:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've written better shit after being awake for 3 days
UrMumLmaoooo97 ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 10:11:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shit better written after being 3 days for awake
Daft-Bastard ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 11:43:04 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've written better after shitting myself awake for 3 days.
CozyChameleon ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:01:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shit for 3 days better after writing myself awake.
Olive0909 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've shit myself awake after 3 better days of writing.
stevie_wonder_bread ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken 3 woke shits myself after writing better
NotAnAI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:05 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better shit I've written for 3 days awake
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 12:04:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, now I'm 90% sure this guy is Tommy Wiseau
john_dune ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:14:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The art of the room? Hey liiisa, you already lost to me... Oh Hai doggy
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 12:22:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PRINCIPLE 6: Don't touch me matherfahker
quinoa_rex ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:47:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, SUN TZU
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit:
Edit:
Edit: HAHAHA
Can_You_Barrett ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:48:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"[This book] is a maze, a labyrinth, a Chapter designed to entrap you within the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning for I am the author of The Art of War 2."
I can't
Urtehnoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that is why you lost .... to...
mE!
Snatches the win-chest and runs away
You can't catch me because if you run after me then you admit that I have won. You can't stop me because if you try to stop me then you admit you have already run. You can't not lose to me because then you admit that I've already won. You can't run from me because by reading this website I've placed a cookie onto your phone that tells me where you are at all times. You can't stop reading because I've successfully logic'd the brain out of you. You can't pass go and collect $200 because this isn't Monopoly, it's war. And I'm the author of the Art of War 2. Did you catch the error I made in the second sentence? Then the error was not by me, but by you for continuing to read. You've lost again! Did you not catch it? Then you won! What did you win? The feeling of hopelessness, because you believe for a second that you won, when you cannot win against me! Why? Because I'm a retard.
boko_harambe_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:55:59 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From his twitter. "Idiots, all of them. Art of War 2 is not advice. It is not a novel. It is a whole new genre."
cutty2k ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 12:55:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like his autism manifests as Mojo Jojo from the Powerpuff Girls.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:54:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Mojo Jojo had a better personality
Matrillik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:03:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting to feel bad because we're clearly just making fun of someone's autism.
19chevycowboy74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:07 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just wants you to find nuggets of wisdom
pydood ยท 921 points ยท Posted at 00:32:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the actual fuck is wrong with people like this?
I just read some of the stuff on his site,is this person serious..
a-clever-fox ยท 216 points ยท Posted at 12:19:24 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do not lose that knowledge for it will help you lose again to me in the next battle contained within The Art of War 2. Because- Stop right here. Stay focused. Please stay focused. I mean it this time. Focus everything you have on this: What exactly are you doing right now? Answer that question."
I want to believe he is not...
Zeius ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 15:27:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pooping. I'm pooping.
cannihastrees ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 16:32:23 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ESTOY POOPINNNNN
CozyChameleon ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:58:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IM FOCUSING DAMN IT
MethodMZA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:52:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you forget? Because we are enemies! I'm teaching you how to lose to me in the art of war 2.
AlianPirate ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 01:29:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always remember Poe's law
TheOppoFan ยท 463 points ยท Posted at 04:55:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always remember coleslaw
BlastHardcheez ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 14:53:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want there to be a cop show on TV about a hard-boiled detective who lives and plays by his own rules: "Cole's Law". Also, he really really loves coleslaw and he rates all the restaurants in the city by how good their coleslaw is.
Edit: word
RyanTheCynic ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 10:59:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, 'tis the most important of the laws.
WhooptyWoopNiggaWhat ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 12:55:03 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't pretend to understand coleslaw.
I only uphold it.
CorkyKribler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be a delicious pile of pulled pork. Ima eat you Mr. NiggaWhat. 1.21 NiggaWhats!
mairedemerde ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:34:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just remembered coleslaw and now I'm pretty hungry.
Stubrochill17 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:48:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you do with coleslaw?
Throw it in the trash.
mairedemerde ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:02:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you madman???
dood98998 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:09 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/madlads we got a live one over here!
Numb3r_6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, no. Fried chicken sandwiches REQUIRE slaw.
bdemented ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry you've had such a terrible experience with coleslaw. I promise when made properly it's amazing.
Benjineer_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:19:01 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
Hill_Reps_For_Jesus ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 06:40:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
na i found this guy's LinkedIn from looking up the book - he's real!
Zombiekiller_17 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 10:14:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When someone seems really crazy... I think mental disorder
mairedemerde ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 12:36:06 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, way too dedicated for a troll. Inconsistency and the sheer amount of what he churns out looks pretty schizo to me. Reminds me of TempleOS.
PityUpvote ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:49:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to look that up... What the actual fuck.
I feel sorry for this guy, and the fact that some people are even taking it seriously, or pretending to, is probably harmful to his mental health as well.
mairedemerde ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:56:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, TempleOS is some decent /r/sadcringe right there, but it's kinda fascinating.
Art of War dude is kinda obnoxious haha.
quinoa_rex ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:44:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I can't read r/sadcringe. I just end up feeling terrible for some of the people.
sneakpeekbot ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 13:56:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a sneak peek of /r/sadcringe using the top posts of the year!
#1: One million likes. | 395 comments
#2: Pregnancy test | 810 comments
#3: Haha yeah | 638 comments
I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out
thejam15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this bot, can we keep him?
wizang ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:12:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TempleOS is a legitimate achievement for a single person. If you ignore the crazy it's really quite cool.
mairedemerde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:06 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I respect the guy for what he managed to program there of course!
wm07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:32 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yea I think a lot of the people that get ridiculed on the internet have mental health issues. my brother has a serious personality disorder and has posted some extremely ridiculous/embarrassing shit on youtube and such, and i'm honestly scared that r/cringe could find it and make a mockery of him.
soulsquisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His work doesn't seem intelligent enough to be the work of a schizophrenic honestly. Schizophrenics can still maintain some logical consistency, but this guy is just making word salad.
thejam15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didnt templeOS have something really good going for it though like really fast RW or some crazy efficiency thing?
tnethacker ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:35:05 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure he's the BES https://youtu.be/ZVUyyHYkBHk
EmptyBeerBottle5984 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that
TheCookieAddict ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
swagswagswag
youtubefactsbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bot info
skud8585 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:08:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like Dwight schrute the teenage years.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:57 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a joke.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably just a big joke but people that act like this are usually just insanely insecure so they latch onto the one strength they think they have.
jsticebeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:09 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is, this type of shit actually sticks sometimes and these get published.
TheConqueror74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:48 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more wondering how old he is. This seems like something some of my friends would've thought to do between the ages of like, 12-14.
DoctorMcDizzleDaddy ยท 302 points ยท Posted at 01:23:53 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I skimmed through Principle 6 he wrote yesterday. It has all of my WTF for the year.
I want to say it's a very very very high-effort satire.... But I don't know.
edit: link http://www.artofwar2.com/
sk3lut0r ยท 307 points ยท Posted at 04:31:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Because we are enemies. Did you forget? That I am teaching you how to lose to me, the author of The Art of War 2, in battle. So if you remembered anything I just wrote, you just lost again. Again you lose to me, The Art of War 2. But do not worry, thatโs not important right nowโฆ Why?".
What in the absolute fuck. This hs to be a joke, because he has like 5 paragraphs of him consistently talking about the reader being defeated by the author of the art of war 2...
RiseofBubblez ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 09:03:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He basically repeats the same points again and again and again:
-I wrote the Art of War 2 -It is a sequel to the Art of War 1 -You lost to me
sunn0r ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 09:27:01 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DJ KHALED
WhatTheFhtagn ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 13:35:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enutha wun.
Ascurtis ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:13:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eva-chan ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:09:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMDABES
withmorten ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:11:06 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DILIGENTLY
RiseofBubblez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:14:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I studied it diligently. SO YOU LOOOOOSE
diarrhea_shnitzel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:21 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he's trying to rank all his garbage on Google, he already mentioned his SEO ambitions in the original post.
RiseofBubblez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make sense to be honest.
BoojumG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:44:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And we're playing right into his hands! Curse you, Kenneth the Dragon!
RiseofBubblez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His mind games are too great for us mere mortals!
cunningham_law ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 11:41:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fnog: Perhaps. But there is more to winning than beating your opponent. You lack the will of the warrior.
Leela: What do you mean? Watch this!
[She kicks Bill in the stomach.]
Bill: [crying] Ow!
Fnog: No girl has the will of a warrior. You have the will of a housewife or, at best, the schoolmarm.
Leela: That's it. I'll take you on right now.
Fnog: Very well. But, you see, I have the will of the warrior. Therefore, the battle is already over. The winner? Me! [He laughs.] Rematch? You lose again! Had enough? I thought so!
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:30:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna see me win a battle?
Wanna see me do it again?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:14:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Ultimate Robot Fighting.
Ubergopher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:17 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's fixed! Just like boxing!
2pacisalive95 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:11:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The art of hold this L 2
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:46:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like it was written by Tommy Wiseau
BertMacGyver ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:37:09 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fully expect him to come out in a few years saying "ahaaaaa it was totally a comedy! Of course I meant that! What you thought it was serious? You silly goose!" and noone to believe a word of it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha what a story Bert!
BertMacGyver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already have the screenplay written, just waiting on a studio to pick it up!
adam-kobich ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:17:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It reads like an old spice advert
theanav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"As you can see, the text is getting denser and denser like a math problem that is going out of control. Why? Because this is a maze, a labyrinth, a Chapter designed to entrap you within the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning for I am the author of The Art of War 2."
Welp, that's one way to put it.
sk3lut0r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"...the perfectly logical logic of my own reasoning, for I am the author of The Art of War 2."
This dude's using logical logic, the best kind of logic.
SkepticalGerm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it sounds like Trump
sapphon ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:50:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For sure solely on the basis of the image in the OP, if you put a gun to my head and said choose earnest<->satire, it's satire.
But who's to say?
Meloetta ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 02:57:51 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agreed that it was 100% satire until I saw an entire website and twitter dedicated to this persona. That's a lot of effort.
MokitTheOmniscient ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 08:50:48 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, i think it's pretty common for young teenagers to believe stuff like this.
For instance, when i was 14, i genuinely believed that in was the smartest person in the world. I'm just really glad that the internet wasn't as all encompassing then as it is today, considering the cringey stuff i said.
lf27 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:27:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username, I suppose
MokitTheOmniscient ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 12:52:10 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, i never said i was wrong, did i?
You may bask in my knowledge now if you wish.
lf27 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 13:01:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well how can you be the smartest in the world if that title truly belongs to me? I've got an IQ of 210, which I received in the 3rd grade, but I'm sure it's been growing ever since. According to this graph I've derived, y=210x+210, I should be in the thousands of IQs right now!
Nerfi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:18:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need to stick through it. In principle 7/6/8 he unlearns what ordered sets are.
Nipple_Dick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:42:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"CHAPTER 6.
PRINCIPLE 6.
You did not expect that did you?
You did not expect principle 7 would start with principle 6 in this book on the art of warfare, which guarantees victory for those who study it diligently enough such as myself. That is why you have lost again my enemy.
Now, some will say โHey! I predicted that.โ BUT. You did not realize that this is actuallyโฆ
PRINCIPLE 8.
The Chapters 6 and 7 will be discussed later. You donโt need to worry about it for now. But I do. I worry about principles 6 and 7 the most actually, out of all of the first 8 or 9 principles I worry about them the most. Why?" Wow!
CommieColin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:07:04 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A large part of me definitely feels like it's satire. Then again, people do actually suck this much
Danominator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:10:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just that there is so much content. It seems like this massive effort to make a joke that only the writer is in on.
CommieColin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well hey, maybe we're in on it now too?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:31 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More likely it's just a crazy person than a joke.
BertMacGyver ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:35:35 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went onto the About Master Tren page, expecting a few thousand words of gold. Instead its just:
I don't know whether to be disappointed or not
Max_TwoSteppen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:27 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely satire.
themistoclesV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably my favorite verysmart ever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only really skimmed, so perhaps I missed some truly enlightened writing...BUT, I've also never seen a writer refer to the book they're currently writing so often. I'm pretty confident that "The Art of War 2" is the most common phrase in The Art of War 2.
avalanches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's bait
CorkyKribler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, a master baiter.
snacks27 ยท 392 points ยท Posted at 02:09:42 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This tweet from his account (@kennethttran): "I just found out I have mild Autism.. this gives me a huge strategic advantage.. #chess" This makes sense, because he also claims to banner for House Lannister, FWIW.
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He posted something similar on FB after he got called autistic in the AMA then shared the AMA on Fb too
2pacisalive95 ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 05:09:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he said something like it was a strategic advantage because it made him unpredictable. Guess we've been foiled again, another loss in the art of war 2.
[deleted] ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 11:23:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend said I was definitely in the artistic spectrum it was so strange of her to give me such a lovely compliment in the middle of an argument
jusjerm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please help. I can't remember what that is from
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:35:48 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does IT stand for?
IDidntChooseUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internet... things?
jusjerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
hbk1966 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clowns?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 13:17:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
erasmustookashit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:25:57 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The North remembers.
contrefeu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Define mild
Davelulz ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 09:25:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should write The Art of War 3, just to troll this guy.
jasondfw ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:05:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
6 Minute Abs
myusernameissometa ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:18:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
7! 7 is the key!
Zbradaradjan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:39:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
5040, 7 is the key !
minniewesk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:30:53 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The art of war 3 new and improved Dude would shit his pants
Wertyujh1 ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 09:00:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"never let the enemy know you are warring against them" (...) "Does a tiger fear that a tree will wage a war against the tiger? No. It is just a tree. BUT- What would happen if the tree fell on the tiger?
The tiger would have lost the war quickly and swiftly"
ridiculouschemist ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 10:03:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Inspirational.
Google_my_ass ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:23:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2real4me
CozyChameleon ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 15:03:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...... he's not wrong....
SRVfender001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should warn the tigers about the trees so they can launch a preemptive strike.
CozyChameleon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:33:31 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This method of deception and attack will all be explained by the author, which is me, in The Art of War 3
westhoff0407 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:59:21 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Scott?
LukeIsSkywalking ยท 124 points ยท Posted at 12:03:32 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg what
itogisch ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 12:08:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its like he tries to put plot twists in his book like a 5 year old would. You thought you were eating a banana but it was actually an APPLE. But the jokes on you since the apple was actually a green orange...
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 14:07:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of reminds me that joke Louis C.K. tells about his daughter's jokes.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/R9PV1et
zerdalupe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:00:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So anticlimactic that I cracked up
HelloAnnyong ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:37:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
--Michael Scott
Davelulz ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 07:13:59 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"While I do not disagree with Sun Tzu, because this is the sequel to his book, I also agree with him in the sense that I guarantee victory for those truly skilled in The Art of War 2."
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
PotatoQuie ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 11:27:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War 2: The Special Edition
oh_that_track_suit ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 01:58:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to url. Was not disappointed.
atomheartother ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 11:11:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may not be disappointed, but did you remember anything he said? Again, you lose to me, the author of the Art of War 2.
Google_my_ass ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:22:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i was just reading that omg, it's like he's no longer in this realm of existence anymore
sapphon ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 01:48:27 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The truism that you don't choose your own nickname may be the single most..."logical"...thing about fucking nicknames.
[deleted] ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 09:54:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not my real nickname, desu! We are enemies, did you forget? You just lost to me, the author of The Art of War 2, again.
Hypocritical_Oath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough desu, desu.
DrJohanzaKafuhu ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 10:32:47 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah man, nobody knows me better than me.
That's why my nickname is Dr. Johanza "Big Dick" Kafuhu.
It's because my middle name is Richard and I'm a big guy.
frankxanders ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:48:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Frank the Tank. Not for any reason. I just like the way it sounds.
boko_harambe_ ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:57:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of soco, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.
cellygirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:07 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this should be recited over a nice beat
agg2596 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a pasta?
RickMartino ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:36:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a line from Andy Bernard (Ed Helms) on the office. Hilarious scene.
ender89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:43:05 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go around introducing yourself as "the dragon", people are definitely going to give you a new nickname you're not gonna like.
quinoa_rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Half the idea behind nicknames is that they come from either a) injury, b) doing something stupid, or c) all of the above.
I was almost Faceplant, but (thankfully) it didn't stick.
Freakychee ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 03:11:54 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how nicknames and names work at all, right?
I mean if you wanna change your name later but we all have to call you something first when you are born and unable to speak.
Also aren't nicknames generally given by others?
diarrhea_shnitzel ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 14:59:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to name my baby The Art Of War 3
Urtehnoes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 15:47:59 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mom, why is my cousin named Diamond?"
"Because your aunt loves diamonds."
"What about me then?"
"That's enough out of you, The Art of War 3."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:43:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think there are many things/people in existence that named themselves. Reddit loves that thing about the brain having named itself but beyond wider concepts like "brain", "human" and so on anyone/thing with a name was given it by someone else.
Do Feral children and the like give themselves names/sounds? Do some animals have sounds they use to refer to themselves? I'm off on a total tangent now but sort of interested.
edit: I've googled this and some animals definitely use "names" to refer to each other but it's not clear to me if there are any cases where they name themselves rather than other animals named them.
ECF_Redderickrolled ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 09:34:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War II
[1], for all you uncultured swine.[1]
The Art of War 2
Lord_Dreadlow ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:54:43 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The disorganized rambling I just read on that page makes my head hurt.
I guess I did lose, after all.
Jocaal ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:52:07 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You probably can't understand it. That's ok, most cannot. However, my IQ is +140 so I know exactly what he's talking about.
Can_You_Barrett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:55:53 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually it's "The Art of War 2"
Thedragonking444 ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 05:54:23 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a stupid nickname. Right guys?
๐๏ธ itsdahveed ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 06:00:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yeah I bet if you a nickname with the name dragon on it you gotta have a tiny penis
Ubernaught ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 09:57:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're his king right? What's that like, to loSE TO THE AUTHOR OF THE ART OF WAR: 2!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you really The Dr. Agonki Ng? The famous Russian-Chinese pediatrist? AMA please!
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 07:13:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, how deluded do you have to be to try to make a god damn sequel of a 1500 year old literary classic
BigYearColorado ยท 231 points ยท Posted at 10:31:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mormon
atomheartother ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 11:17:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ฅ
Rivertold ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:35:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love his sub
frankxanders ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:50:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He loves your sub
CorkyKribler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:53 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LL My Cool S
doowi1 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 11:53:48 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright I smirked. I attempted reading the Book of Mormon and a lot of it is "I am Joseph Smith. This actually happened. Trust me. I am the prophet."
sleepyhollow_101 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:30:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I received some magical seeing stones which I put in a hat so I can read divine texts. And then everyone at the bar clapped and I found a hundred dollars."
doowi1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:51:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Canadian girlfriend and she totally exists. -Joseph Smith
Dovah907 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He gave himself his own nickname and says its not logical for someone else to give you a nickname. This tells me so much, in such clear detail, that you could call me a genius "Logician". He has no one in his life that would ever give him a nickname. Now, im not saying he is lonely and that nobody loves him because he has no social skills. Perhaps, his IQ is too high for him to be around anybody else. He is constantly reminded by how stupid humanity is and thus prefers being with an astral projection of himself. He can generate this astral projection because of the raw power of his brain. He then can engage in mentally stimulating conversation with himself in the 5th dimension, in his white clean padded room, to avoid distractions. The astral projection then gave him his nickname, so in a sense he did give himself his own nickname.
Ngherappa ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:02:13 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:47:55 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mister soft owl has seen some shit" always gets to me.
hrld ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 12:43:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am now writing in non-linear logic. I gave you that hint. That tip. Why? Because I want to win the next battle as well. Because did you forget? We are enemies. And I play to win. So why did I give you a hint that is true? Simple. Because I forgot. I forgot not that we are enemies, but I forgot that I studied The Art of War 2 so diligently that I remembered everything so in fact I did not forget anything here in this moment and at least many more moments both before and after this moment. Now the first moment or second moment, but the moments in between those moments, and the moments before and after those moments. I remembered because I diligently studied The Art of War 2. Are you amazed at my great memory? You shouldnโt be. Why?"
This guy is crazy.
strokes383 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:01 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many dangling modifiers and contradictory statements.
Songal ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:30:06 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Master Tran" What a fucking asshat
Eagle_Potato ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:48:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is hilarious
Minder1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:46:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reading his site is unbearable, all he does find as many ways to say "The Art of War 2" as he possibly can. The following excerpts are all from the same post on his blog
He contradicts himself constantly
From principle 6: always seek knowledge
Maybe I'm just not smart enough to understand this. After all, I can't even remember that we are enemies
quinoa_rex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:15 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me these aren't real excerpts. Please. I need to believe the world is a kind place.
Minder1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:40:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you
Chopsticks613 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did you forgET WE ARE ENEMIES
Minder1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:03:23 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How could I forget? It is mentioned in each paragraph
ill_mango ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:29:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's for SEO purposes. You see, Art of War 1 already has a PageRank of over 9,000.
drumanddrummer ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:51:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About Master Tran
Kenneth T. Tran is a pioneer in the art of warfareโฆ
(to be continued)
itogisch ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:11:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really wish i could be that delusional. Or smart. Whatever. My life wouldn't be such a mess then...
atomheartother ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:19:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just gonna go ahead and assume that this guy's life is a complete mess
CorkyKribler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:37:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whether he's joking or not, he lives in a dark basement.
cuprumcaius ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:17:57 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a dramatic reading of The Art Of War 2, but every time they say The Art Of War 2 it gets faster and faster.
ReturnoftheSanders ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 00:42:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maximo autismo
flyingcat952 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 09:45:05 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gran autismo 2: the art of war drift
RiseofBubblez ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:10:04 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swear for someone who claims to be counselling us in the 'Art of War' he doesn't know the first thing about strategy.
Burkvest71 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:17:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of War 2:Electric Boogaloo
MrK1tten ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:49:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sun tzu is rolling in his grave.
TheMajorMedic ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:33:03 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is a troll. A very dedicated one at that.
"Now you understand why the future is unpredictable. Because, now what if that tiger happened to be a very rich tiger who could afford to buy an alarm clock? I say rich, because the average tiger has no money, itโs just a tiger. It doesnโt need money, itโs a tiger.
Please stay focused."
Frungy ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:51:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the website. Fuck. Me. This guy is batshit crazy insane.
The ramblings. Oh my god. I don't even know where to start.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:59:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy sounds like a total douche.
ADoucheNamedBag ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:46:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Douchรฉ*
shizzy0 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:32:51 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Touchรฉ
darkmage2160 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:18:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kid is BEYOND mental. "iq of 140+ (really? not a defined number?) that you recieved in 5th grade" did someone give it to you? were you bequeathed it by the rest of your 140+ member family giving you all of their iq? Also his site (yes it's real wtf) is pretty dumb. If you're going to try to school me in the art of war, at least sound like you know something and don't say "let's school our enemies" like a gangster.
bootsncats13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone who quotes their IQ always has to say they got that score when they were young. I would love to see them get retested as an adult.
Icegiant3227 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:10:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After reading just a little bit of his book, I'm confident that he knows how to war better than everyone. He has obviously been in war, and knows how to defeat anyone that would war with him.
dagdegan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:36 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He guarantees victory 100% in the art of war 2
Icegiant3227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He has already won because he authored the art of war 2.
chesterfieldkingz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:13:59 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who wants to play troll or autism?
y4my4m ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:53:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definite troll, he's probably masturbating to everyone being baited right now. Matter fact might even be OP's elaborate faggotry
itogisch ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:10:12 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a linkedin profile. Facebook, twitter and the book is registered. I think this isnt satire.
contrefeu ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:54:08 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be a troll. How the fuck do you write art of war 2 if you're a neckbeard sitting in his mommys basement, who's never experienced any fight, let alone any military experience? Perhaps he wrote Art of Tendies: The Struggle Against Mommy
itogisch ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:09:20 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude come on. He played at least 3 hours of Rome total war on easy. Didnt you read his principle about attacking head on? Fuck strategy. Just attack head on. It is the shortest way to victory.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:19:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because to someone smart enough theory is just as good or even better than any real world experience. Why would I need to experience a fight when I know exactly how some one would respond to my tactics in a fight? Before the fight has even started the winner has been decided by the side with the superior intellect.
I discuss this idea further in my classic novel "The Art of War 3: War in Space (Love?)"
Scrotum_Aids ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:34:47 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys I'm the author of the new Lord of the Rings sequel The Lord of the Rings: the Penetration of Smaug check it out at www.stolensequels.com
sleepyhollow_101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd read it
dragon_peen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:17:03 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi the Dragon, I'm the dragon peen!
mairedemerde ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Art of War 2: Electric Boogaloo
iced327 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:45 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So wait, does this mean he's actually paying for the domain "artofwar2.com" so that he can post this shit?
PixelatedPedantic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:55 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tempted to email him and school him on User Experience.
marshal_mellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you do a whois lookup you can see he is in fact the registrant, and he lives in the US, and he needs to learn about whoisguard.
EDIT: Nice boat in the google street view too. This guy ain't doing so bad.
phome83 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:50:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says it all. http://imgur.com/9qm4CLR
also_hyakis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:07:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A logician is a real thing, not just a silly title, and this mother fucker ain't it.
BadLeague ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:21:21 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure this video from him confirms his autism, its kind of sad actually https://twitter.com/kennethttran/status/841375814096568320
Just looking through his Twitter, its obvious he needs some help.
SkrublordPrime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:25:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you google Art of War 2 you find Wesley Snipes
Hairless-Sasquatch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:56:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy cant be serious. He has to be some sort of comedian
whalemango ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:58:32 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The difference between him and Sun Tzu being that Sun Tzu had actually gone to war in his lifetime.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody needs to chill. Hes a troll. A magnificent and beautiful troll
MatlockHolmes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone like John Hodgman should write a rival sequel, it's a pretty great title.
DerProzess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:56:07 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KNAWLEDGE
quinoa_rex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:53 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He even directly contradicts The Art of War in at least 3 different places. You can't fucking retcon Sun Tzu.
LeProYasuo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:04:32 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Which I have gave to myself"
Jeenyus
DreadedOreo18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:23 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(No promo)
ambival3nt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:18 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is... is this Trump? Is Trump the Dragon?
itogisch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:34 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dragon Trump.
torlad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:41 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy writes like a college student trying to stretch out that essay an extra 2 pages.
thegovtisreptiles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be a troll. "The Art of War 2" is too much for someone taking this seriously hahaha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:31 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to keep checking that page now and again, because one day it's going to tell me to drink Fight Milk, the first alcoholic dairy-based protein drink for bodyguards.
bigpasmurf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also great for cutting weight before your weigh in
chefmenteur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You just lost if you followed my example which I am going to assume you did because somewhere in this text which may be a later Chapter or may even be in a previous Chapter there is a note that says follow my instructions and my instructions are I, the author of The Art of War 2."
wat
HelloAnnyong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is incredible.
http://i.imgur.com/QzXcEGn.png
http://i.imgur.com/Wc768LY.png
http://i.imgur.com/xZvHQfx.png
http://i.imgur.com/1vdU8JQ.png
Finally, writer of the Art of War 2 and (by the looks of it) nutritional supplement peddler.
http://i.imgur.com/9Lc3xXm.jpg
GentlemanT-Rex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"CHAPTER 6.
PRINCIPLE 6.
You did not expect that did you?
You did not expect principle 7 would start with principle 6 in this book on the art of warfare, which guarantees victory for those who study it diligently enough such as myself. That is why you have lost again my enemy.
Now, some will say โHey! I predicted that.โ BUT. You did not realize that this is actuallyโฆ
PRINCIPLE 8."
What a fucking roller coaster this is!
TerroristOgre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:25 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can read my book at www.____.com (no promo).
LMFAO
doctrgiggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you guys scroll down to the bottom where there's a bunch of fellow verysmarters jerking about how they're also all so smart but yet so dumb?
I also really like this guy that thinks it takes a high IQ to remember TV shows:
Or this one:
SJ_RED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:10 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone wanting to check this fuckstick's bullshit out without giving him a click: https://archive.is/YTedH
jaa12064 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely love the comments in this sub.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:50 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool to have a code name. It's not that weird.
Burkvest71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this post as Phil Hartman's Troy McClure
SilentLurker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:24 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a giant troll post. Might even have done it just to have someone post about it here.
arandomguy123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:27 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just had a look at the AMA. This guy is delusional.
drebunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pure gold
Umaritimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like he has a peanut butter castle in his mom's basement
personaldistance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, he admitted he's autistic. Let's lay off.
jfuss04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:24 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3 2 1 Dr Tran
diphiminaids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:29 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Credentials : changed name and created nickname
Trento322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:02 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys, his t-shirt is only $19.99
https://www.rageon.com/products/eb5agents-co-t-shirt-white
pyro110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:40 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
from his website: "For Sun Tzu himself, who I have diligently supported by writing the sequel to his book The Art of War 2 which comes after The Art of War 1, although you can read The Art of War 2 by itself OR in reverse chronological order"
BRRatchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:22 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
SuzLouA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We still mock a friend of ours for trying to give himself his own nickname. You do not get to choose your own nickname (unless it's a common one, like Dave for David). You tolerate the nickname your friends bestow upon you. That's how it works.
FigwitLivez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"About Master Tran Kenneth T. Tran is a pioneer in the art of warfareโฆ
(to be continued)"
He's just incredible
iamnotchad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Art of War 2: Like the Art of War 1 because war... war never changes.
Robo-Connery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:28 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The site he links to is pretty funny.
His about section:
Grinch420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:37 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"For Sun Tzu himself, who I have diligently supported by writing the sequel to his book The Art of War 2 which comes after The Art of War 1, although you can read The Art of War 2 by itself OR in reverse chronological order."
this guy is hilarious lol
Numenese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:56 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I have an IQ of +140 which I received in 5th grade. That's all you need to know." He's absolutely right, after saying that I don't want to know anymore about him.
TrumpNurse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:49 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is 140 IQ the "I've only had two beers officer" of online geniuses?
theswigz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:40:33 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is either a master class in trolling or a desperate cry for help.
Pixel871 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:39 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he is actually a troll, he's a master troll the website is even real
kredfield51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:16 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Art of war 2: Electric boogaloo
ishfish111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:11 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty solid. Not cringeworthy at all
cow_co ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:19 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know Sun Tzu was still alive
Aiosiary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:26 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He seems like a real life chuunibyou.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:34:14 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fox_ontherun ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:21:52 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
www.artofwar2.com It's right there.
HughJassmanTheThird ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:06:30 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You couldn't have just typed it in? It's written right there and not very complicated. You actually wrote more text asking for a link...
ParamoreFanClub ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:44 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is on a new level. He makes trump look humble. He has to be satire
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:00 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mairedemerde ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:39:38 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How's your first week on the internet going?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 12:50:46 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:35 on March 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People here absolutely hate when others see through the satire/trolling. If you removed all the posts that weren't truly people pretending to be smart there would be like no content. The circlejerk here is real.