Please, do not use asterisks. Write out the whole sentence again so the beauty of the English language is not defiled by your bourgeois shortcuts.
ke7ofi · 480 points · Posted at 08:26:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You clearly do not understand, comprehend, or appreciate the magnificent English language. Please refrain from attaching classist labels to what should be a beautiful, unencumbered language.
If you were to be an educated specimen of the species homo sapiens, you would understand to use the correct version of this saying, which is as follows.
"My language."
It is also preferred but optional to tip your hat in the direction of said language.
Oh, saints preserve us, when will the ignorance end?
As anyone with the most meagre of schooling could tell you, in Latin binomials the genus takes an initial capital letter and the species is entirely lowercase. The binomial is also always rendered in italic text. Thus we have: Homo sapiens.
I despair sometimes, I really do.
[deleted] · 209 points · Posted at 09:54:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I cannot believe you just made the plebeian choice of labelling humans as Homo sapiens. Do you deny that Neanderthals were Homo sapiens neanderthalensis, thus making modern humans Homo sapiens sapiens?
Why not just dub us primates and chuck us in with Pan paniscus and Pan troglodytes?!
ojajaja · 71 points · Posted at 14:49:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
A proper practitioner of the English language would never use the question mark and the exclamation point together as you have done above, like some kind of two-bit pulp magazine writer. Do yourself and the greater English speaking community an immense favour and end yourself prematurely, with due haste.
XxLokixX · 136 points · Posted at 13:22:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
was amazing*
Perhaps you should take a week off work to train yourself and enlighten your mind in the eloquent beauty of the English language. It's secrets can be unlocked through magnificent study and quickly becomes a glorious work of art to one reader's visual interpretation of the matter.
Your misused apostrophe after all these posts causes me such existential pain that I am not sure I can go on! Please take the time to educate yourself so that I can carry on with my life.
Your pointing out of the mistake was rather half-hearted, naming not the exact spot of where to find it. To the avid enthusiast of the English language it easily becomes apparent that you do not care about the education of your fellow writers beyond such a spiritless comment. It pains me that I feel the need to be so fastidious, but I see no other way of helping you grasp the concept of not only a beautiful form of communication, but also an effective one. Rest assured though that I in no way mean to ostracize you from this admittedly delightful comment chain.
It's days like this when I wish I knew Middle English so I could go full Chaucer on this thread
mkalvas · 6 points · Posted at 20:29:18 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Just mix modern German and modern English while drunkenly trying to speak Norwegian in a bar to other drunk Norwegians while a Dutch guy watches you and laughs and you'll be speaking middle english in no time.
Please comma do not use punctuation dot Write out all the names of the punctuation so the beauty of the English language is not defiled by your bourgeois shortcuts dot
[deleted] · 56 points · Posted at 10:25:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Can you please speak slower. I am an average individual.
vhite · 171 points · Posted at 07:51:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Six of what clock? Are we in London or the frozen steppes of Russia, you uncivilized brute."
[deleted] · 113 points · Posted at 08:00:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Six of the silver clock that sits on the Queen's table in Buckingham palace of course!
Dysfu · 44 points · Posted at 13:39:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
Does anyone else get annoyed when someone says, "quarter until 6" instead of, "5:45"? It just seems like a backwards way of just reading a clock and I have no idea why people say it that way.
EDIT: All right, I understand why people might be inclined to say this. But it's also annoying when someone says, "Quarter Till". Quarter till what? It just seems to me that there would be less ambiguity if people just read the clock forwards.
aSe2KM · 23 points · Posted at 15:07:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
For me, the most annoying time-phrase is "a quarter OF ten." Of? Is that after the hour, or to the hour? It's a difference of thirty minutes, which - to me - is very significant.
mkalvas · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:27 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
When I learned German they told us that it was common to say "halb zehn" which is "half ten" but that it meant 9:30. No idea if Germans really use that expression or not.
Yeah, “half 10” would be 9:30 in German speaking countries, meaning the first half of the tenth hour, which begins at 9. We also say “three quarters 10” to mean 9:45.
StannyT · 1 points · Posted at 19:59:17 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
My wife is American and I'm from the UK and she would always get confused when I'd say "quarter to four" when she'd ask me the time. But it's how we say it... Guess I'm just used to it being that way. But now I say it her way (3:45) because it's just easier and gets the message across quicker. I still use the Brit at when I'm at home though.
cianmc · 1 points · Posted at 19:14:24 on November 22, 2015 · (Permalink)
I would be annoyed because "quarter until 6" sounds very clumsy. "Quarter to 6" on the other hand sounds great.
altxatu · -1 points · Posted at 14:22:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
If the do the till business, just give me the minutes. 15 till 6, is totally fine. This fraction bullshit has got to go.
bnh1978 · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Oh six hundred hours", or "zero six hundred hours" if you cannot stand corrupting the beautifully structured tool that is English by conflating 0 with O.
*Alternately, "eighteen hundren hours". I do not think you would ever say "one thousand, eight-hundred hours" because although 24-hour time eliminates the : (colon) delimiter, it is still two separate numbers under different numbering systems (one rolls over at 59, the other at 23).
Saw them live in like '05 and saw them again two years ago. Still to this day one of the most awesome shows I've ever been to. Their energy on stage is unbelievable.
I was just taking the thread in a brave new direction but if my bold leadership isn't RIGHT for your company then maybe I will go work for HP instead ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I actually can't believe the reaction this has gotten, but I'll take it. Also nostalgia is right. Good ol' days of a new wave of pop punk. Now Warped Tour is all androgynous metalcore and ass shots.
Ajeh · 265 points · Posted at 02:49:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/u/Ajeh would like to point out that not only would they be egotistical and pretentious, but perhaps they would be a touch hypocritical as well, just a thought light years ahead of its time. Maybe you will understand sometime, probably not.
[deleted] · 77 points · Posted at 07:04:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please do not call it "coded Hebrew". The actual way to transliterate it into English is "temel afra pdhuren subgere", and to not write as much you're confusing me because I'm smarter than you.
AnoK760 · 6 points · Posted at 17:41:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ugh, you cretin, I was obviously using the contraction ironically to mock those plebians who deign to use shortened versions of a much longer, much smarter English word. K?
AnoK760 · 3 points · Posted at 18:13:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
K.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 07:14:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
does not not even not know what is going on right now.
But I totally do not not not even not know what is going on.
I think anyway, and therefore I am... sure that I am not going to not take not this.
Steven always speaks about himself in the proper manner, this being in the third person as you peasants say. Because Steven is so smart and handsome, Steven is a top man. Stevens mother has told him this since Steven was a young boy.
It sounds like it was written specifically for posting to this subreddit. It's as if OP used a throwaway account, posted that comment, then post a screenshot for karma. Not saying that's what happened, though.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:37 on December 5, 2015 · (Permalink)
Obviously. I mean, how else would the average person (if one would even wish to refer to them as a "person") be able to keep up with the increased rate of speech?
rj20876 · 0 points · Posted at 14:51:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
One has deduced that this is correct.
Nowin · 45 points · Posted at 10:38:36 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's not a joke; it's a troll. That guy went there looking for an argument. He knew how OP would respond.
That's when it's a job well done and I gotta commend him for it. There are just enough egotistical fuckwits out there to make something like this believable. It probably is just /r/iamverysmart bait but I wouldn't put this past someone. Maybe toning down just a bit would've made me believe it. His last sentence took the trolling too far.
Nowin · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't like this tendency of thinking everything on this sub as a joke; there are people like this out there, it's funnier if we think of this as a story someone told us: it could be real, it could be false, still it's a lot better if we only assume it as true and move with our life.
I believe this person was out there and that this was their true feelings expressed. I just wish it was a joke because it's that ridiculous for someone to think that they are better for not using contractions.
Really? How many people do you know that act like this? I would say the number of troll posts in this sub far outwight the real ones. Just because you want them to be real doesnt mean we should assume they are
This is a satire sub, it's onlu porpuse is to laugh at what people say, in that sense I think it's not necesary to ask about the truth behind each of the post. Even so, a lot of us coul perfectly fit in our own verysmart-post, andthat doesn't mean we all are like that.
I just think doubting in every post beats the porpuse of the sub, and again, it's funnier if we just assume it as truth for as long as we stay in the thread.
I think it's a joke in that op wrote "your", was corrected, edited, then proceeded to cover his error by picking a fight and both parties just went with it. That's how it worked out in my head anyways.
Or for more standard contemporary contractions, literally the first line of Hamlet is "Who's there?"
Sitnalta · 284 points · Posted at 05:27:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yes but I hardly think Shakespeare is anywhere near on the level of the Redditor featured in this post.
[deleted] · 110 points · Posted at 07:06:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters would eventually write Hamlet, but not a post good enough for that redditor.
Ripp3r · -30 points · Posted at 08:38:48 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
no shit, how long ago was Shakespeare alive? There's no way he would make it in this world. Sorry, the world of art and imagination is over, that guy would be homeless.
Seeing that people still today dedicate their lives to studying Shakespeare, and that almost everyone in the world has seen or read one of his plays, I'm gonna call your bullshit defening on that one.
K4ntum · 8 points · Posted at 12:30:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't get it, what point are you trying to make ?
If Shakespeare was born in the 20th century, writing in the same style of language, then maybe no one would care.
But there are plenty of people living off of their art nowadays. Obviously only a small percentage makes it but still, the book/ebook industry is pretty big.
Hark! Fellow redditors, be'st not thrown by /u/Ripp3r's untoward attitude. For though the light do dimmeth in his head, let it shineth ever on in your hearts.
d3vkit · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Let's see, no capital letter, used contraction, comma instead of semicolon...
My guess is that he failed to distinguish between your and you're once and was called out on it. So instead of learning to use them properly, he just eliminated contractions.
I am sorry, I just see people on EBERY sub being sarcastic. Why is it not accepted here? Also, one thing: Why are you using Minecraft as an example of immaturity?
Kelsig · 1 points · Posted at 06:10:00 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's a good symbol for gamer culture, I could have interchanged it with CS or League if that's what you prefer.
Ok, that was pretty good. Also, wow! TIL I'm the incarnation of gamer culture. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than argue with a stranger.
"Hopefully, slow enough for the average individual to keep up with me."
What is he talking about? There is no subject
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it is a fragment, that's not what I wanted to say.
I just disagree with /u/socialsecurityguard's sentiment of the second part having to be a complete sentence.
In my opinion, the semicolon indicates that the previous part was somewhat a complete thought, because as you read over it, you can pause there and collect your thoughts, but then a further (incomplete) thought can be appended to that, just as you do it with an ellipsis on whole sentences...
That seems to be the writer's original intent; it's just incorrect. Many people do try to use the semicolon to connect independent with dependent clauses, but that's not traditionally correct. That isn't to say things won't gradually change over time. But if you were to submit that in your English paper, you'd get marked off.
Also, as an aside, ellipses should only be used within quotations to either omit a segment of the quote (without changing the meaning, of course) or, in dialogue, to show someone is pausing or trailing off. Outside of that, it (for the most part) has no place in formal writing.
Semicolons can be used to separate two independent clauses (e.g. Complete sentences, each with a subject and verb) that are related to each other. It's mostly a stylistic choice.
For example:
I grabbed a blanket; the scary movie was giving me chills.
A period would be technically correct as well, but the semicolon signals to the reader that these two clauses (sentences) are closely connected.
Edit, actually I don't know. Semicolons are usually there for an independent clause but that looks like a dependant clause as it doesn't have its own verb,
“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.”
All I can think of is Faye from early QC sounding like a robot. Little less starch in their collar would go a long way.
kaitco · 2 points · Posted at 02:58:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Wow! That's precisely who I thought of as well! I figured it was because my QC Volume 5 had just arrived and my mind's been a bit focused on the comic.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 23:59:24 on November 8, 2015 · (Permalink)
I think the man has read Stephen King (Because of his habit of adding more in parenthesis), before continuing on his previous line of thought. Damn I accidentally broke my sentence in half because I don't have the capacity to to continue my original line of thought after inserting a parenthesis.
I dunno, I personally haven't read much Stephen King but I sometimes use way more parentheses than I ought to. Especially when I'm using pretentious-asshole diction!
Syliss1 · 2 points · Posted at 06:29:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Obviously, I'm aware of the existence of indoor plumbing. However, I believe it's better not to use it. Using indoor plumbing shows you a blind, drunken sheep following society and not having a single individual thought. I prefer to crap in my neighbors yard and get arrested. It shows how I'm an intelligent and amazing human being that doesn't conform."
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:39:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This is literally a case of "well I don't do it therefor no one should."
scamp41 · 2 points · Posted at 16:56:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, it should be 'horse cock.'. I was not born yesterday, obviously I am aware of traditional word choice. However I choose not to use it, and you should do the same.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:35:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
He's quoting a paper called "Confronting neoliberals" or some shit like that. I've read this exact paragraph before.
It just seems like he fucked up and tried to save himself, but ended up just digging himself deeper
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 07:03:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I love it when people are arguing and start using unnecessarily "smart" words to try to validate their point. "Obviously I am aware of the existence of contractions."
How about "I know about contractions" you pretentious douche?
Those sentences do mean different things though. I'm aware of the existence of Uganda, for example, but I wouldn't say that I know about Uganda because I really don't know shit about Uganda.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:13:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
For sure, but for the purposes of that discussion it would have been fine. And I don't think this guy was going for precision in his language so much as he just wanted to sound smart.
Me, about twenty second's later... No, you misheard me. I didn't use a contraction, and the sentence made perfect sense. Why would I say, "You are a can't."?
I like how throwing random synonyms in sentences suddenly makes you smart.
Serious question: If they were as smart as they think they are, wouldn't their sentence structure be different to better use those words?
rj20876 · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"However, I have chosen not to use them," is what he should have said. His current phrasing implies that he makes the choice repeatedly, whenever the opportunity arises. Whereas the following sentences imply that he had previously made the choice only once and he intended it to be a permanent one. /s
"Beautiful"? Really? That's the way they'd choose to describe our mongrel of a language - formed from several different origins; riddled with stolen words; a pronunciatory fucking nightmare! English is fucked.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 06:17:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
So many obvious troll posts get shared here. C'mon guys.
racecarspacedinosaur · 2834 points · Posted at 00:23:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Hey, Cyan, what time is it?"
"Six of clock."
dumb_ · 3161 points · Posted at 02:50:49 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*of the clock
Clearly you do not appreciate the beauty of the English language.
RobAmedeo · 1363 points · Posted at 07:50:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please, do not use asterisks. Write out the whole sentence again so the beauty of the English language is not defiled by your bourgeois shortcuts.
ke7ofi · 480 points · Posted at 08:26:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You clearly do not understand, comprehend, or appreciate the magnificent English language. Please refrain from attaching classist labels to what should be a beautiful, unencumbered language.
Kahandran · 687 points · Posted at 08:49:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
m'language
TheVarmari · 328 points · Posted at 08:51:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
If you were to be an educated specimen of the species homo sapiens, you would understand to use the correct version of this saying, which is as follows.
"My language."
It is also preferred but optional to tip your hat in the direction of said language.
Ahaigh9877 · 224 points · Posted at 09:21:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh, saints preserve us, when will the ignorance end?
As anyone with the most meagre of schooling could tell you, in Latin binomials the genus takes an initial capital letter and the species is entirely lowercase. The binomial is also always rendered in italic text. Thus we have: Homo sapiens.
I despair sometimes, I really do.
[deleted] · 209 points · Posted at 09:54:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I cannot believe you just made the plebeian choice of labelling humans as Homo sapiens. Do you deny that Neanderthals were Homo sapiens neanderthalensis, thus making modern humans Homo sapiens sapiens?
Why not just dub us primates and chuck us in with Pan paniscus and Pan troglodytes?!
ojajaja · 71 points · Posted at 14:49:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
A proper practitioner of the English language would never use the question mark and the exclamation point together as you have done above, like some kind of two-bit pulp magazine writer. Do yourself and the greater English speaking community an immense favour and end yourself prematurely, with due haste.
sherlock_jones · 35 points · Posted at 18:43:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You missed a couple of places where I would have put a comma.
Next time you cross a road, neglect to rotate your head to both the left, and to the right.
poopcasso · 79 points · Posted at 13:13:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This train of comments were amazing. Thank you.
XxLokixX · 136 points · Posted at 13:22:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
was amazing*
Perhaps you should take a week off work to train yourself and enlighten your mind in the eloquent beauty of the English language. It's secrets can be unlocked through magnificent study and quickly becomes a glorious work of art to one reader's visual interpretation of the matter.
TheWhitefish · 19 points · Posted at 14:00:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Your misused apostrophe after all these posts causes me such existential pain that I am not sure I can go on! Please take the time to educate yourself so that I can carry on with my life.
CriticalCrit · 8 points · Posted at 16:50:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Your pointing out of the mistake was rather half-hearted, naming not the exact spot of where to find it. To the avid enthusiast of the English language it easily becomes apparent that you do not care about the education of your fellow writers beyond such a spiritless comment. It pains me that I feel the need to be so fastidious, but I see no other way of helping you grasp the concept of not only a beautiful form of communication, but also an effective one. Rest assured though that I in no way mean to ostracize you from this admittedly delightful comment chain.
GustavusAdolphin · 3 points · Posted at 20:51:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's days like this when I wish I knew Middle English so I could go full Chaucer on this thread
mkalvas · 6 points · Posted at 20:29:18 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Just mix modern German and modern English while drunkenly trying to speak Norwegian in a bar to other drunk Norwegians while a Dutch guy watches you and laughs and you'll be speaking middle english in no time.
GustavusAdolphin · 3 points · Posted at 21:30:35 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Sag mal, praat jy the norske?
edit: it works :O
[deleted] · 6 points · Posted at 16:04:54 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I've never upvoted so many comments in a single thread - and the best part of it, just keeps getting better!
ANAL_BRITISH_ACCENT · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:24 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh all you lot go fuck yourselves.
Willhud98 · 1 points · Posted at 15:48:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
God damn I love this sub.
ProtoKun7 · 25 points · Posted at 14:53:53 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*tips thesaurus*
PM_ME_BIGGER_BOOBS · 3 points · Posted at 18:10:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Dammit this one for me lol
mangolope · 3 points · Posted at 21:54:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
tips alphabet
Nordic_Hoplite · 2 points · Posted at 17:07:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
oh god
RobAmedeo · 19 points · Posted at 08:42:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Spoken like a true proletariat.
Jacques_R_Estard · 6 points · Posted at 09:16:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
There's more than one proletariat?
Koujinkamu · 3 points · Posted at 10:36:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I believe the above is a me-me.
Jacques_R_Estard · 3 points · Posted at 10:48:07 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Is it? I can't find any references to it.
Koujinkamu · 3 points · Posted at 10:54:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I've seen that exact sentence many times on "four chan" as a "Russian" way of saying it. Not sure it's a meh-meh though.
Jacques_R_Estard · 3 points · Posted at 10:58:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I guess I'll take your word for it, then. Marvelous quotation marks on the 4chan, by the way.
ArloJamesBarnes · 1 points · Posted at 05:35:51 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
The Fourth Channel does not appreciate abbreviating 'proletariat' to 'prole' merely for the purposes of differentiating the group from the individual.
KashiwaDaisukipster · 6 points · Posted at 15:05:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please comma do not use punctuation dot Write out all the names of the punctuation so the beauty of the English language is not defiled by your bourgeois shortcuts dot
[deleted] · 56 points · Posted at 10:25:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Can you please speak slower. I am an average individual.
vhite · 171 points · Posted at 07:51:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Six of what clock? Are we in London or the frozen steppes of Russia, you uncivilized brute."
[deleted] · 113 points · Posted at 08:00:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Six of the silver clock that sits on the Queen's table in Buckingham palace of course!
PwsAreHard · 53 points · Posted at 10:58:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Post or ante meridiem?
bcdm · 17 points · Posted at 15:56:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Anno Domini, of course!
TheBoozehammer · 15 points · Posted at 16:04:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
African or European?
kazooie5659 · 10 points · Posted at 19:44:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I... I don't know!
venicerocco · 20 points · Posted at 07:57:43 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Seeth oaf el cloathe.
Dysfu · 44 points · Posted at 13:39:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
Does anyone else get annoyed when someone says, "quarter until 6" instead of, "5:45"? It just seems like a backwards way of just reading a clock and I have no idea why people say it that way.
EDIT: All right, I understand why people might be inclined to say this. But it's also annoying when someone says, "Quarter Till". Quarter till what? It just seems to me that there would be less ambiguity if people just read the clock forwards.
aSe2KM · 23 points · Posted at 15:07:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
For me, the most annoying time-phrase is "a quarter OF ten." Of? Is that after the hour, or to the hour? It's a difference of thirty minutes, which - to me - is very significant.
Codeworks · 33 points · Posted at 15:51:48 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I've never heard anyone say that. In the UK we'd say 'quarter to' or 'quarter past'.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 16:45:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Codeworks · 4 points · Posted at 16:55:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Half ten would half past ten for us, yes.
mkalvas · 1 points · Posted at 20:34:27 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
When I learned German they told us that it was common to say "halb zehn" which is "half ten" but that it meant 9:30. No idea if Germans really use that expression or not.
tinyfisch · 1 points · Posted at 12:47:56 on March 5, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah, “half 10” would be 9:30 in German speaking countries, meaning the first half of the tenth hour, which begins at 9. We also say “three quarters 10” to mean 9:45.
enjoytheshow · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Same in the US. People around me (midwest) generally say quarter after.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:00:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Codeworks · 2 points · Posted at 21:27:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
I feel like old England may need to write a strongly worded letter about this.
Zlurpo · 1 points · Posted at 05:23:03 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
It really only happens in certain parts of America. Boston says it, not sure where else...
oddark · 20 points · Posted at 17:11:10 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
A quarter of 10 is 2.5, so 2:30.
LillyU · 3 points · Posted at 19:13:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Isn't it the first quarter of the tenth hour? So 9:15 or 21:15?
runs-with-scissors · 1 points · Posted at 17:33:00 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I've heard this. It's supposed to mean quarter-to (quarter 'til).
McSpoon202 · 1 points · Posted at 22:12:43 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I heard that too in the States, still don't k ow if it mean 9:45 or 10:15
Gsus_the_savior · 1 points · Posted at 02:15:29 on April 1, 2016 · (Permalink)
This all sounds like the weird way people say things in french. There's also "and-a-half", but that's more legible.
SealRover · 44 points · Posted at 13:56:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's spoken that way in many other languages too. My guess is five forty-five came around with digital time pieces. Neither are wrong, just different
iamunstrung · 7 points · Posted at 17:33:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's ten times worse when they just say 'quarter to'. Motherfucker, quarter to when?!
ofsinope · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:10 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Ten 'til ten"
alienwraith · 1 points · Posted at 17:40:35 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Dialects... they just keep comin'
StannyT · 1 points · Posted at 19:59:17 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
My wife is American and I'm from the UK and she would always get confused when I'd say "quarter to four" when she'd ask me the time. But it's how we say it... Guess I'm just used to it being that way. But now I say it her way (3:45) because it's just easier and gets the message across quicker. I still use the Brit at when I'm at home though.
cianmc · 1 points · Posted at 19:14:24 on November 22, 2015 · (Permalink)
I would be annoyed because "quarter until 6" sounds very clumsy. "Quarter to 6" on the other hand sounds great.
altxatu · -1 points · Posted at 14:22:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
If the do the till business, just give me the minutes. 15 till 6, is totally fine. This fraction bullshit has got to go.
bnh1978 · 1 points · Posted at 14:34:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Time for you to buy a watch
CookiieMoonsta · 1 points · Posted at 17:38:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Six o'clock m8"
ArloJamesBarnes · 0 points · Posted at 05:42:12 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Oh six hundred hours", or "zero six hundred hours" if you cannot stand corrupting the beautifully structured tool that is English by conflating 0 with O.
*Alternately, "eighteen hundren hours". I do not think you would ever say "one thousand, eight-hundred hours" because although 24-hour time eliminates the : (colon) delimiter, it is still two separate numbers under different numbering systems (one rolls over at 59, the other at 23).
Metalbeerclotted · 846 points · Posted at 00:39:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"A'ight", he replied.
secretpandalord · 540 points · Posted at 08:39:27 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, it should be "alright".
Actually, it should be "all right".
Actually, it should be "all is right".
Actually, it should be "everything is right".
Actually, it should be "every thing is all right".
Actually, fuuuuuck.
dividepaths · 165 points · Posted at 11:49:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
TELL ME THAT YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
[deleted] · 81 points · Posted at 12:02:43 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
AND EVERYTHING IS ALL RIGHT
ryan-ryan · 54 points · Posted at 14:07:38 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
OH PLEASE TELL ME THAT YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
AsenAsLoki · 52 points · Posted at 14:45:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
YEAH EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT
ricecrizo · 42 points · Posted at 15:13:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Give me a reason.
skunkbuddy · 42 points · Posted at 15:34:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
To end this discussion
XVengeanceX · 43 points · Posted at 15:46:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
To break with tradition
cake_for_breakfast76 · 32 points · Posted at 17:04:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
To fold and divide
himynameisroy · 22 points · Posted at 17:31:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks, and airplanes.
JoeLithium · 20 points · Posted at 18:34:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Talking with strangers, waiting in line.
sanswagata · 17 points · Posted at 19:46:05 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm threw with these pills that make me sit still
cake_for_breakfast76 · 17 points · Posted at 21:36:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Are you feeling fine? Yeah, I feel just fine!
dividepaths · 10 points · Posted at 20:44:30 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Thanks for following through on all that, gang. Excellent teamwork.
ILoveToEatLobster · -1 points · Posted at 18:23:31 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm on fire, and now I think I'm ready!
enjoytheshow · 5 points · Posted at 16:36:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Saw them live in like '05 and saw them again two years ago. Still to this day one of the most awesome shows I've ever been to. Their energy on stage is unbelievable.
jessisrad · 2 points · Posted at 22:05:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
They are my favourite band hands down and just as good, if not better live than recorded. Their shows are so much fun!
PopcornInMyTeeth · 2 points · Posted at 22:23:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Saw them at warped tour three years in a row 2004-6. Consistently great shows.
stokleplinger · 3 points · Posted at 14:50:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
...I fell in love with out you?
AsenAsLoki · 11 points · Posted at 14:56:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Let's get fucked up and die?
kazooie5659 · 1 points · Posted at 19:46:34 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Metaphorically, of course.
FlarpmanBob · 1 points · Posted at 15:40:49 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
BE STRONG, BELIEVE
ansatze · 1 points · Posted at 16:37:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
DO YA HEAR ME DO YA FEEL ME WE GUN BE ALRIGHT
OhJohnNo · -3 points · Posted at 13:45:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
'COS WE WILL NEVER PLAY BY YOUR RULES
superPwnzorMegaMan · 3 points · Posted at 14:35:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
First time I heard it, great song! Thanks for sharing joy to the rest of the world John.
dividepaths · 8 points · Posted at 13:47:33 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Not even close.
OhJohnNo · -5 points · Posted at 13:51:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I was just taking the thread in a brave new direction but if my bold leadership isn't RIGHT for your company then maybe I will go work for HP instead ¯_(ツ)_/¯
CaffeinatedGuy · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I left.
ablownmind · 1 points · Posted at 00:42:38 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Thank you. I have been taken on a much needed nostalgic journey.
dividepaths · 1 points · Posted at 01:09:16 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
I actually can't believe the reaction this has gotten, but I'll take it. Also nostalgia is right. Good ol' days of a new wave of pop punk. Now Warped Tour is all androgynous metalcore and ass shots.
Jacques_R_Estard · 6 points · Posted at 09:19:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It'll be fine.
Idkid1 · 6 points · Posted at 23:06:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
and we gon' be awlright
thiagovscoelho · 1 points · Posted at 15:04:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
FULLY CORRECT
luckjes112 · 1 points · Posted at 09:42:00 on January 2, 2016 · (Permalink)
I AM APOLLO JUSTICE AND I'M FINE!
goldicecream · 1 points · Posted at 21:54:05 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Some secretpandalords just want to watch the world burn.
secretpandalord · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:16 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, I don't want to set the world on fire. I just want to start a flame in your heart.
[deleted] · 34 points · Posted at 08:15:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
k
svullenballe · 75 points · Posted at 01:56:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"That's retarded"
blamb211 · 57 points · Posted at 05:52:35 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oooh I dunno, Rick...
Arcusico · 2 points · Posted at 19:55:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh, you shouldn't've
Ithoughtshewaslvl16 · 1 points · Posted at 15:31:12 on November 26, 2015 · (Permalink)
Alright, Alright, Alright. I get older they stay the same age, man.
laurenshapiro · 1232 points · Posted at 23:46:46 on November 8, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please be a joke. Please be a joke.
Metalbeerclotted · 1090 points · Posted at 00:34:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It has to be. Someone this pretentious and egotistical would refer to themselves in the third person.
laurenshapiro · 211 points · Posted at 00:44:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Very valid point.
Ajeh · 265 points · Posted at 02:49:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/u/Ajeh would like to point out that not only would they be egotistical and pretentious, but perhaps they would be a touch hypocritical as well, just a thought light years ahead of its time. Maybe you will understand sometime, probably not.
[deleted] · 77 points · Posted at 07:04:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/u/idontknowhowreddit doesn't not even not know what's going on right now.
True English beauticifiers use triple negatives to extrastapolate their language prowefiness.
the_wrong_toaster · 51 points · Posted at 07:08:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
FTFY
ElkeKerman · 83 points · Posted at 08:25:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please do not use FTFY. It should be "I have weighed the quality of your work and it has been found wanting. Here are some corrections."
bcdm · 12 points · Posted at 16:25:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please do not use "I have weighed the quality of your work and it has been found wanting. Here are some corrections."
As it is derived from a quotation, it may only be read in the original coded Hebrew, which may be written in English as, "Mene mene tekel upharsin."
Thank you.
ElkeKerman · 2 points · Posted at 17:23:31 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please do not call it "coded Hebrew". The actual way to transliterate it into English is "temel afra pdhuren subgere", and to not write as much you're confusing me because I'm smarter than you.
AnoK760 · 6 points · Posted at 17:41:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
please don't use contractions
ElkeKerman · 3 points · Posted at 18:02:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ugh, you cretin, I was obviously using the contraction ironically to mock those plebians who deign to use shortened versions of a much longer, much smarter English word. K?
AnoK760 · 3 points · Posted at 18:13:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
K.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 07:14:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
But I totally do not not not even not know what is going on.
I think anyway, and therefore I am... sure that I am not going to not take not this.
nezamestnany · 8 points · Posted at 07:36:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I couldn't fail to disagree with you less
omicronperseiB8 · 2 points · Posted at 07:37:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I couldn't disundefail to disagree with you less
DominoNo- · 1 points · Posted at 09:18:54 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
InfiniteZr0 · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:49 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
aer351 · 0 points · Posted at 14:46:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
FTFY
PirateMud · 23 points · Posted at 08:21:02 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ugh. The landlord used "one" about himself yesterday. Every time I talk to him I feel like he's an insufferable prick.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 15:53:38 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
PirateMud · 8 points · Posted at 17:10:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yeah but he could have used "I" as he was saying about something he actually experienced.
WutangCND · 5 points · Posted at 12:53:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Steven always speaks about himself in the proper manner, this being in the third person as you peasants say. Because Steven is so smart and handsome, Steven is a top man. Stevens mother has told him this since Steven was a young boy.
TheWhitefish · 3 points · Posted at 14:03:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
TheWhitefish thinks that's immature, not sophisticated.
you_do_realize · 2 points · Posted at 15:20:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This poster believes you are correct.
Teh_Slayur · 2 points · Posted at 17:31:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It sounds like it was written specifically for posting to this subreddit. It's as if OP used a throwaway account, posted that comment, then post a screenshot for karma. Not saying that's what happened, though.
Metalbeerclotted · 1 points · Posted at 22:35:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's sad someone would value internet points that much, but you're probably right.
enjoytheshow · 1 points · Posted at 16:37:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Jimmy agrees with you
benjimann91 · 1 points · Posted at 18:24:43 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
this one agrees with you.
VAPossum · 1 points · Posted at 23:21:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/r/iamverypretentious
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:10:37 on December 5, 2015 · (Permalink)
Obviously. I mean, how else would the average person (if one would even wish to refer to them as a "person") be able to keep up with the increased rate of speech?
rj20876 · 0 points · Posted at 14:51:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
One has deduced that this is correct.
Nowin · 45 points · Posted at 10:38:36 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's not a joke; it's a troll. That guy went there looking for an argument. He knew how OP would respond.
ReckoningGotham · 6 points · Posted at 13:21:00 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
What's worse is that this hit front page--a lot of people would have fallen for this, apparently.
enjoytheshow · 6 points · Posted at 16:38:43 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That's when it's a job well done and I gotta commend him for it. There are just enough egotistical fuckwits out there to make something like this believable. It probably is just /r/iamverysmart bait but I wouldn't put this past someone. Maybe toning down just a bit would've made me believe it. His last sentence took the trolling too far.
Nowin · 1 points · Posted at 14:08:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Even trolls gotta eat.
reallynotvegan · 69 points · Posted at 04:23:34 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't like this tendency of thinking everything on this sub as a joke; there are people like this out there, it's funnier if we think of this as a story someone told us: it could be real, it could be false, still it's a lot better if we only assume it as true and move with our life.
photonrain · 92 points · Posted at 05:37:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually it should be "it is funnier if we..."
laurenshapiro · 17 points · Posted at 04:45:57 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I believe this person was out there and that this was their true feelings expressed. I just wish it was a joke because it's that ridiculous for someone to think that they are better for not using contractions.
Pretzell · 6 points · Posted at 12:11:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Really? How many people do you know that act like this? I would say the number of troll posts in this sub far outwight the real ones. Just because you want them to be real doesnt mean we should assume they are
MaxNanasy · 3 points · Posted at 23:24:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I used to never use contractions for similar reasons, back when I was a pretentious asshole. I wouldn't call out other people for using them, though
reallynotvegan · 1 points · Posted at 17:44:14 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This is a satire sub, it's onlu porpuse is to laugh at what people say, in that sense I think it's not necesary to ask about the truth behind each of the post. Even so, a lot of us coul perfectly fit in our own verysmart-post, andthat doesn't mean we all are like that.
I just think doubting in every post beats the porpuse of the sub, and again, it's funnier if we just assume it as truth for as long as we stay in the thread.
Protoman89 · 6 points · Posted at 03:42:17 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Probably, it's just too perfect for this sub
arcticfawx · 3 points · Posted at 16:17:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I think it's a joke in that op wrote "your", was corrected, edited, then proceeded to cover his error by picking a fight and both parties just went with it. That's how it worked out in my head anyways.
thenotsowisekid · 1 points · Posted at 02:00:46 on February 18, 2016 · (Permalink)
You don't just come up with this shit. This shit is way too advanced
oh_no_aliens · -17 points · Posted at 08:25:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's as much a joke as those radfems subs are.
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 11:38:14 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
loool where did that even come from?
ceccai · 268 points · Posted at 00:38:33 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Hey, well at least he's kind enough to slow down his speech enough so that us average individuals can understand. What a great guy.
somegetit · 69 points · Posted at 13:52:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It should be "he is".
SneakyScubaBear · 28 points · Posted at 21:10:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Thanks for pointing that out. I was struggling to keep up.
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 15:09:49 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Do not you appreciate the beauty of the English language?
MadmanEpic · 63 points · Posted at 01:01:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You get a gold medal!
PowErBuTt01 · 3 points · Posted at 16:35:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
But not reddit gold for ceccai? :(
Gsoz · 1 points · Posted at 15:20:48 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This is very important to be honest, especially as this is written - contractions makes me read too fast to comprehend it.
Maquiavelico · 333 points · Posted at 01:15:40 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Because no respectable and intelligent person would ever, ever use those filthy plebian contractions
theduckparticle · 300 points · Posted at 02:11:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Or for more standard contemporary contractions, literally the first line of Hamlet is "Who's there?"
Sitnalta · 284 points · Posted at 05:27:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yes but I hardly think Shakespeare is anywhere near on the level of the Redditor featured in this post.
[deleted] · 110 points · Posted at 07:06:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters would eventually write Hamlet, but not a post good enough for that redditor.
Ripp3r · -30 points · Posted at 08:38:48 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
no shit, how long ago was Shakespeare alive? There's no way he would make it in this world. Sorry, the world of art and imagination is over, that guy would be homeless.
ChucklefuckBitch · 19 points · Posted at 11:43:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Seeing that people still today dedicate their lives to studying Shakespeare, and that almost everyone in the world has seen or read one of his plays, I'm gonna call your bullshit defening on that one.
K4ntum · 8 points · Posted at 12:30:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't get it, what point are you trying to make ?
If Shakespeare was born in the 20th century, writing in the same style of language, then maybe no one would care.
But there are plenty of people living off of their art nowadays. Obviously only a small percentage makes it but still, the book/ebook industry is pretty big.
bledzeppelin · 5 points · Posted at 13:48:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Hark! Fellow redditors, be'st not thrown by /u/Ripp3r's untoward attitude. For though the light do dimmeth in his head, let it shineth ever on in your hearts.
d3vkit · 1 points · Posted at 16:56:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Let's see, no capital letter, used contraction, comma instead of semicolon...
marshsmellow · 13 points · Posted at 12:08:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Shakespeare?? A hack!
gellis12 · 16 points · Posted at 18:27:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Damn, this guy got his ass handed to him by Shakespeare, and he's been dead for just under 400 years!
Being able to mentally bitch slap someone 4 centuries after you die is one hell of an accomplishment.
toriemm · 3 points · Posted at 07:35:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The Lady wants None of the Sass!
renoscottsdale · 3 points · Posted at 17:22:10 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Clearly this guy would take issue with Shakespeare too. "Iambic pentameter? Call me when it's iambic tetrameter."
supremecrafters · 2 points · Posted at 17:03:38 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Loofe Poffeffion.
ArloJamesBarnes · 2 points · Posted at 07:32:46 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ye'll be wantin' that long (not to be confused with the sharp one) s, or ſ in Unicode. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_s.
supremecrafters · 2 points · Posted at 15:45:21 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
I can't ſeem to figure out the alt code for that. Thankſ for ſhowing me though, I can alwayſ grab it from character map in the future!
cianmc · 1 points · Posted at 19:15:32 on November 22, 2015 · (Permalink)
To be fair though, Shakespeare did write his stuff for the plebians of the day.
JosefStallion · 82 points · Posted at 02:14:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Maybe he is an android and is unable to use contractions.
dumb_ · 43 points · Posted at 02:53:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It is a dead giveaway.
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 07:07:31 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
How can it be a dead giveaway if he was never truly alive?
TheTatCat213 · 7 points · Posted at 12:58:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't know how.
Wunderwafle · 5 points · Posted at 17:55:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You meant "I do not know how", I suppose.
biscuitpotter · 5 points · Posted at 22:07:27 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/r/totallynotrobots
ArloJamesBarnes · 1 points · Posted at 07:33:46 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
Shall we throw in /r/botsrights and /r/MeatRobots while we are at it?
brilliantlyInsane · 9 points · Posted at 17:33:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Sorry, just proving my humanity.
ojajaja · 3 points · Posted at 14:50:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
How do you know he isn't iOS?
harbourwall · 2 points · Posted at 15:22:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm sure he is otherwise fully functional
divide_by_hero · 48 points · Posted at 07:16:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Someone should make a bot for this sub - Any reddit comment that starts with "Actually, " should be automatically screencapped and posted here.
moderatelybadass · 16 points · Posted at 08:12:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, I think that's quite a good idea, indeed!
Thatcrazylemur · 5 points · Posted at 14:31:30 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
A bit like /r/ShitAmericansSay 's YankBot.
_spoderman_ · 4 points · Posted at 17:34:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Username checks out
Camwood7 · 2 points · Posted at 12:00:33 on April 22, 2016 · (Permalink)
Actually, the crowbar snaps in two.
CyrillicFez · 1 points · Posted at 22:49:26 on December 28, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'll code it when I get home. I'm not exactly versed in how to host it though. I'll link it in an edit to this comment when I'm done.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:43:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Same with "So, "
akunis · 186 points · Posted at 23:36:37 on November 8, 2015 · (Permalink)
This guy needs to contract his ego.
Edit: sex
[deleted] · 75 points · Posted at 10:34:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
redpillersinparis · 16 points · Posted at 10:55:07 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't get it. Contract his dick?
[deleted] · 20 points · Posted at 11:04:24 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
akunis · 18 points · Posted at 11:25:05 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yeah, I originally wrote "chick" and "his"
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 11:37:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
akunis · 25 points · Posted at 11:56:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Of course! Meet me behind the shed in ten minutes
[deleted] · 29 points · Posted at 12:14:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
yourselfiegotleaked · 16 points · Posted at 12:59:31 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
What a cute exchange. You guys should date.
akunis · 13 points · Posted at 14:35:53 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Can our first three dates be behind the shed?
yourselfiegotleaked · 3 points · Posted at 15:47:05 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I sure hope so
akunis · 3 points · Posted at 16:27:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This is gonna be so much fun!
ojajaja · 6 points · Posted at 14:51:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
He should contract syphilis.
jdepps113 · 1 points · Posted at 20:03:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Maybe we could contract it for him?
With crowbars and bats and such?
lkuecrar · 39 points · Posted at 03:33:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Has Ken M come to Reddit?
Roarkewa · 61 points · Posted at 04:44:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ken isn't hateful though. He doesn't make his jokes at the expense of others.
Amunium · 9 points · Posted at 07:36:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ken M has been on reddit for a long time. His username is KennyEmmy and he's a mod of /r/kenm
omicronperseiB8 · 23 points · Posted at 07:41:05 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
He hasn't trolled on reddit though. His style doesn't really work here.
ItsFunIfTheyRun · 8 points · Posted at 14:21:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Because his ass would get downvoted to invisibility.
ZordonFreemanI · 1 points · Posted at 18:55:48 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ken M isn't a dick, he's a genius.
Sirnacane · 75 points · Posted at 00:53:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
For someone who want to use the English language for its fullest extent, he's sure limiting himself by not using contractions.
thegoatsareback · 16 points · Posted at 08:48:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I was gonna say, contractions are part of his beloved language. Why would he view them as a blight.
CrochetCrazy · 41 points · Posted at 12:37:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
My guess is that he failed to distinguish between your and you're once and was called out on it. So instead of learning to use them properly, he just eliminated contractions.
thegoatsareback · 14 points · Posted at 13:10:40 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
you're: 7/10
you are with rice: 10/10
brilliantlyInsane · 4 points · Posted at 17:32:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Who the hell is Rice, and why would I be with him?
ArloJamesBarnes · 2 points · Posted at 07:36:07 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
rice-boy.com/
HotWeen · 287 points · Posted at 03:14:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Is this what being triggered feels like?
69ingmonkeyz · 101 points · Posted at 12:04:33 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Can you even? If not, then yes.
thereds306 · 26 points · Posted at 13:02:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I can not even right now.
Velorium_Camper · 15 points · Posted at 14:45:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
How odd.
TheRedComet · 4 points · Posted at 22:51:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I guess someone cast a Void Winnower
gellis12 · 1 points · Posted at 18:28:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I literally totes 1000% can't even right now.
Krono5_8666V8 · 9 points · Posted at 10:32:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Are you literally dieing? If so than yes.
redpillersinparis · 19 points · Posted at 10:55:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*dying
Come on, nigga !
Krono5_8666V8 · 7 points · Posted at 19:00:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Its a thing.
Tallest9 · 5 points · Posted at 12:38:47 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
IM SCREAMIG
Krono5_8666V8 · 1 points · Posted at 18:59:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Frist of all, how dare yo u.
DarksteelSteve · -7 points · Posted at 13:37:48 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
NO U SHITLORD UR POST TRIGGERED ME U DONT EVEN KNW WUT ITS LIK IM LITRALY DIEING RITE NAO PAGSBNGSIC GSAGJCTTXJACKBZHXHSMZNBZ
panicattack
Kelsig · 5 points · Posted at 18:32:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Don't you have a Minecraft server to be on
DarksteelSteve · 1 points · Posted at 19:49:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I am sorry, that was sarcasm. I thought it was pretty damn obvious as a parody.
Kelsig · 4 points · Posted at 05:09:04 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
No shit. Your sarcasm is only funny on 8chan and minecraft servers.
DarksteelSteve · 1 points · Posted at 06:07:08 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
I am sorry, I just see people on EBERY sub being sarcastic. Why is it not accepted here? Also, one thing: Why are you using Minecraft as an example of immaturity?
Kelsig · 1 points · Posted at 06:10:00 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's a good symbol for gamer culture, I could have interchanged it with CS or League if that's what you prefer.
DarksteelSteve · 1 points · Posted at 06:17:20 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Gamer culture"? What is that? There are so many different games it's impossible to have a "single culture".
Kelsig · 1 points · Posted at 06:18:28 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/iamverysmart/comments/3s2co7/actually_it_should_be_you_are/cwu1aw0
DarksteelSteve · 1 points · Posted at 06:27:24 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ok, that was pretty good. Also, wow! TIL I'm the incarnation of gamer culture. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than argue with a stranger.
SirNarwhal · 66 points · Posted at 00:10:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm sad the first dude didn't just respond with, "You're an asshole."
Captainshithead · 19 points · Posted at 04:04:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You're a asshole
[deleted] · 14 points · Posted at 03:14:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Aumentar · 19 points · Posted at 03:44:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*Your asshole
omicronperseiB8 · 16 points · Posted at 07:39:38 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
U're asshole*
TheMisterFlux · 14 points · Posted at 07:39:53 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
And my axehole
Polishious · 3 points · Posted at 08:07:40 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*Your anus hole"
patio87 · 4 points · Posted at 08:14:53 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
My anasshole.
maimonguy · 1 points · Posted at 17:23:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, that should be "You are an hole of the ass".
SirNarwhal · 1 points · Posted at 17:38:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
If you really want to be pedantic it's, "You are a hole of the ass."
maimonguy · 1 points · Posted at 18:32:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, that should be "it is".
scottspjut · 98 points · Posted at 00:15:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That semicolon in the last sentence is used incorrectly.
JohnProof · 12 points · Posted at 01:09:07 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Help me out. I thought it was correct to use a semicolon in place of a conjunction.
socialsecurityguard · 48 points · Posted at 03:05:14 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The two sections have to be able to be complete sentences on their own. The second one is a fragment.
JohnProof · 2 points · Posted at 23:47:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Good to know; I have a bad feeling I've been abusing semicolons....
ArloJamesBarnes · 2 points · Posted at 07:38:47 on November 27, 2015 · (Permalink)
Please report yourself to Punctuation Protective Services immediately.
[deleted] · -2 points · Posted at 09:18:24 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I don't see a problem with putting the second part into an own sentence...
fax-on-fax-off · 10 points · Posted at 09:59:10 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
English teacher here. It ain't ok.
charizu · 8 points · Posted at 15:28:21 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, it should be "It ai not ok."
columbus8myhw · 1 points · Posted at 20:16:02 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
Isn't "ain't" short for "am not"?
fax-on-fax-off · 2 points · Posted at 22:17:25 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
Whoosh.
columbus8myhw · 2 points · Posted at 01:06:06 on November 12, 2015 · (Permalink)
Turns out I was wrong.
drewsephstalin · 2 points · Posted at 13:32:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Hopefully, slow enough for the average individual to keep up with me."
What is he talking about? There is no subject
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:02:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yeah, it is a fragment, that's not what I wanted to say.
I just disagree with /u/socialsecurityguard's sentiment of the second part having to be a complete sentence.
In my opinion, the semicolon indicates that the previous part was somewhat a complete thought, because as you read over it, you can pause there and collect your thoughts, but then a further (incomplete) thought can be appended to that, just as you do it with an ellipsis on whole sentences...
scottspjut · 3 points · Posted at 15:01:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That seems to be the writer's original intent; it's just incorrect. Many people do try to use the semicolon to connect independent with dependent clauses, but that's not traditionally correct. That isn't to say things won't gradually change over time. But if you were to submit that in your English paper, you'd get marked off.
Also, as an aside, ellipses should only be used within quotations to either omit a segment of the quote (without changing the meaning, of course) or, in dialogue, to show someone is pausing or trailing off. Outside of that, it (for the most part) has no place in formal writing.
scottspjut · 28 points · Posted at 03:57:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Semicolons can be used to separate two independent clauses (e.g. Complete sentences, each with a subject and verb) that are related to each other. It's mostly a stylistic choice.
For example:
I grabbed a blanket; the scary movie was giving me chills.
A period would be technically correct as well, but the semicolon signals to the reader that these two clauses (sentences) are closely connected.
DismayedNarwhal · 1 points · Posted at 11:46:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
A colon would be more appropriate in this sentence, since the second clause is an explanation of the first.
Edit: Source
scottspjut · 7 points · Posted at 12:33:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
A colon would also be appropriate -- not necessarily more appropriate.
rambi2222 · 11 points · Posted at 13:34:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Our greatest minds have yet to figure out how the fuck you're supposed to use a semicolon.
TheMisterFlux · 1 points · Posted at 07:40:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That's correct, but I can't seem to figure out what conjuction fits well in there. Perhaps "and", but even that sounds a little weird.
nousernameisleftt · 0 points · Posted at 01:12:53 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yeah you're right, it's grammatically correct
Edit, actually I don't know. Semicolons are usually there for an independent clause but that looks like a dependant clause as it doesn't have its own verb,
scottspjut · 12 points · Posted at 03:59:24 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
They could have set apart that last phrase (everything after and including "hopefully") with an em dash and it would have been correct.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:09:18 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
nousernameisleftt · 3 points · Posted at 03:18:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
Uh no its not. It has an infinitive, but just because a phrase has a verb and a noun doesn't mean it is independent
I count an infinitive phrase, a prepositional phrase and a modifier
The entire phrase is pretty much an adverb
svullenballe · 1 points · Posted at 01:55:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'd expect it to look like what it is.
ThornsyAgain · 3 points · Posted at 18:19:36 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The semicolon is everyone pretentious redditor's favorite punctuation that they never both to learn to use properly.
scottspjut · 3 points · Posted at 18:31:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
~Kurt Vonnegut
columbus8myhw · 3 points · Posted at 20:20:22 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
I've never been sure whether to capitalize after a colon. I guess I've got that question answered now.
scottspjut · 2 points · Posted at 23:31:35 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
It depends on the style guide, but the answer is generally yes.
pelaiplila · 2 points · Posted at 16:32:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Should it be an em dash?
scottspjut · 2 points · Posted at 17:16:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yes. And it should have spaces on each side of it if you're using AP style. It should have no spaces if you're using APA style.
AP Style:
APA Style:
However, some CMS systems and webfonts don't like em dashes. So it's becoming more common to use en dashes in those instances:
other_mirz · 2 points · Posted at 05:52:58 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
alt+0151, or --- in latex
redditating_ · 96 points · Posted at 00:33:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/mQximmK
Dont_Ban_Me_Br0 · 1 points · Posted at 21:05:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm going to abuse the shit out of this GIF. I'm calling it now.
bdemented · 8 points · Posted at 05:51:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
When I try to sound smart I talk faster dafuq
PublicSealedClass · 14 points · Posted at 06:52:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Basically the tactic used during the filming of The Social Network.
fatcat4 · 6 points · Posted at 08:35:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
breakoutthatjavascript
columbus8myhw · 1 points · Posted at 20:22:15 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
Like rappers?
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 06:47:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This has to be a troll.
tromuniapp · 8 points · Posted at 06:35:36 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
TIL Shakespeare
didn'tne'er appreciated the beauty of the English language.wi1d3 · 7 points · Posted at 07:25:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
What a cunt.
columbus8myhw · 2 points · Posted at 20:22:43 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
*cun not
Mydrasis · 9 points · Posted at 09:00:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
If he'd've been smart he'd know y'all'd've been correct.
shot-in-the-mouth · 6 points · Posted at 09:36:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
If you'd've been smart, you'd've known that he'd'ven't've cared if y'all'dn't've said anything.
scaretactix · 7 points · Posted at 02:33:35 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
All I can think of is Faye from early QC sounding like a robot. Little less starch in their collar would go a long way.
kaitco · 2 points · Posted at 02:58:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Wow! That's precisely who I thought of as well! I figured it was because my QC Volume 5 had just arrived and my mind's been a bit focused on the comic.
scaretactix · 2 points · Posted at 03:10:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Glad someone else thought of it, because as I recall that comic was years and years ago.
infelicitas · 13 points · Posted at 04:10:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
French might give them an aneurysm.
ThaneOfMordor · 5 points · Posted at 10:13:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
/r/badlinguistics
CleanBill · 7 points · Posted at 11:11:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
PLOT TWIST: Blue poster is actually Data from Star Trek.
Not such a jerk now eh?
glaird25 · 6 points · Posted at 14:00:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
They are both wrong. Clearly it should be "ur"
crrime · 4 points · Posted at 14:15:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
FTFY
Tetragrade · 5 points · Posted at 10:24:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
Your a amazing artist keep it up!
poop-trap · 1 points · Posted at 18:42:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Haha grammar, but the original comment is the worst part for me in that he responds to genuine encouragement like this.
MrFlatulence · 16 points · Posted at 23:49:42 on November 8, 2015 · (Permalink)
tips fedora
My lady.
wifeofpsy · 6 points · Posted at 05:19:44 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh I tried to downvote the screenshot.
elhaupto · 3 points · Posted at 07:26:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That has to be a troll
nomnomnompizza · 3 points · Posted at 14:27:38 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
LPT: Don't actually ever use contractions in school papers. No reason to voluntarily make it shorter than it has to be.
Very-Sandwich · 3 points · Posted at 15:31:00 on November 25, 2015 · (Permalink)
what a prick
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 23:59:24 on November 8, 2015 · (Permalink)
I think the man has read Stephen King (Because of his habit of adding more in parenthesis), before continuing on his previous line of thought. Damn I accidentally broke my sentence in half because I don't have the capacity to to continue my original line of thought after inserting a parenthesis.
theduckparticle · 10 points · Posted at 02:13:24 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I dunno, I personally haven't read much Stephen King but I sometimes use way more parentheses than I ought to. Especially when I'm using pretentious-asshole diction!
Syliss1 · 2 points · Posted at 06:29:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Talk about pretentious.
BuckRowdy · 2 points · Posted at 08:05:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Pm me his username so I can tell him he's an asshole.
tvs_jimmy_smits · 2 points · Posted at 10:12:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
.
hey_botham · 2 points · Posted at 11:30:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ignatius Reilly?
mrbaggins · 2 points · Posted at 11:56:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I hadn't've thought he'd've pissed me off so much, but 'twoud've seemed that it couldn't've been much worse, innit.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 12:32:17 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
StateYellingChampion · 1 points · Posted at 17:49:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Thanks Dr. Soong.
TheRandomRedditUser · 2 points · Posted at 12:45:33 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Obviously, I'm aware of the existence of indoor plumbing. However, I believe it's better not to use it. Using indoor plumbing shows you a blind, drunken sheep following society and not having a single individual thought. I prefer to crap in my neighbors yard and get arrested. It shows how I'm an intelligent and amazing human being that doesn't conform."
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 13:39:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Both these accounts are the same person.
dratthecookies · 2 points · Posted at 14:10:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I am dying to read this guy's comment history.
Problematiqu · 2 points · Posted at 14:22:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Anyone else think of Peggy Hill?
superPwnzorMegaMan · 2 points · Posted at 14:32:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Gr't find!
jzerocoolj · 2 points · Posted at 14:41:33 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
People like him are the reason I hope we develop the technology to send a punch through the internet
DaddyMcBars · 2 points · Posted at 15:56:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/gallery/VQ3KDOQ
LeonAquilla · 2 points · Posted at 16:15:56 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You are a.....HORSE SIZED DICK?
Puffy_Vulva · 2 points · Posted at 16:33:44 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This is literally a case of "well I don't do it therefor no one should."
scamp41 · 2 points · Posted at 16:56:19 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, it should be 'horse cock.'. I was not born yesterday, obviously I am aware of traditional word choice. However I choose not to use it, and you should do the same.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:35:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
He's quoting a paper called "Confronting neoliberals" or some shit like that. I've read this exact paragraph before.
Basically, he cray cray.
JesusJones207 · 2 points · Posted at 18:20:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I love this subreddit.
bolognahole · 2 points · Posted at 18:50:31 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
That person wears a scarf for sure.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:23:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
It's actually an ascot, thank you; he wouldn't be so lowly as to wear a scarf
Gogohax · 2 points · Posted at 20:45:47 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"I take it back, you're a shitty artist. Have fun with the new Starbucks cups."
ErikLiinar · 2 points · Posted at 21:50:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I have only one thing to say to these kinds of people. "Make like a tree and Fuck off"
technoManipulator · 2 points · Posted at 22:36:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Looks like Jaden Smith found Reddit.
hawkdron496 · 2 points · Posted at 20:14:27 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
It just seems like he fucked up and tried to save himself, but ended up just digging himself deeper
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 07:03:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I love it when people are arguing and start using unnecessarily "smart" words to try to validate their point. "Obviously I am aware of the existence of contractions."
How about "I know about contractions" you pretentious douche?
Verendus0 · 7 points · Posted at 07:10:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Those sentences do mean different things though. I'm aware of the existence of Uganda, for example, but I wouldn't say that I know about Uganda because I really don't know shit about Uganda.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 07:13:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
For sure, but for the purposes of that discussion it would have been fine. And I don't think this guy was going for precision in his language so much as he just wanted to sound smart.
Elick320 · 1 points · Posted at 14:11:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Theres a phrase for that
Thesaurus abuse
Patq911 · 3 points · Posted at 05:29:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
this is like hipster Data.
BeltOfWristWatches · 1 points · Posted at 05:36:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I imagine this anti contractions person has 10 too many cats and short 3 litter boxes.
JumpinSpermJackFlash · 1 points · Posted at 05:41:30 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
shakespeare never contracted! AMIRITE?!
ThaneOfMordor · 1 points · Posted at 10:14:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
*ne'er
deepwatermako · 1 points · Posted at 05:47:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm not a violent person. But I really want to punch this guy in the throat.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 06:00:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Ass hat.
Conservativeoxen · 1 points · Posted at 08:03:14 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm drunk. I'll just preface with that. If this person said this to me in my presence I would smash his face until he needed dental surgery.
moderatelybadass · 1 points · Posted at 08:10:47 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Me, about twenty second's later... No, you misheard me. I didn't use a contraction, and the sentence made perfect sense. Why would I say, "You are a can't."?
BansheeBomb · 1 points · Posted at 08:49:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This guy is perfect for this sub.
staffell · 1 points · Posted at 09:02:44 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Master Troll
ShdwPrince · 1 points · Posted at 10:16:58 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The title should be "Akin to a drunkard slurring his speech".
Koujinkamu · 1 points · Posted at 10:33:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The average individual will be wondering if you're autistic.
Ouija_Squeegee · 1 points · Posted at 10:49:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Starts out sounding like some KenM joke.
redpillersinparis · 1 points · Posted at 10:53:35 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
it's gotta be a troll, come on now !
mizzlemazzle · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:23 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh dear god this is one of the worst I've seen. Which sub is this from?
tomerjm · 1 points · Posted at 11:25:35 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Fuck him, I do not want to be understood. By anyone, ever....
submortimer · 1 points · Posted at 11:59:55 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, you're a dick.
jgollsneid · 1 points · Posted at 12:06:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh man. That last line is a real burner
Balmarog · 1 points · Posted at 12:13:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You peasants need to overclock your contraction brains to keep up with me.
ireter294 · 1 points · Posted at 12:27:50 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yes because talking slow is a sure sign of intelligence
honkey-ponkey · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
this guy is just fucking around... I hope
BBCOneTwoThree · 1 points · Posted at 13:07:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oof.
masonba · 1 points · Posted at 13:22:51 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Perfect form.
Bananas_Npyjamas · 1 points · Posted at 13:36:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Aight
Dash_O_Cunt · 1 points · Posted at 13:38:29 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I wanna see what "art" they are talking about. 10 bucks says its some rule 34 crap or more specifically my little pony
eltomato159 · 1 points · Posted at 13:50:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Can you spell "pretentious"?
HipHoboHarold · 1 points · Posted at 13:57:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
He used one. One contraction. That's hardly "fraught with contractions".
S4ND3R50N · 1 points · Posted at 14:27:47 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Fuck you right in your can't, neckbeard."
two2teps · 1 points · Posted at 14:35:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Sounds like someone was reverse grammar Nazi'd (aka was mistaken about grammar) and had to back peddle hard or risk looking dumb on the internet.
BrujahRage · 1 points · Posted at 14:46:20 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Let me hold you to my arbitrary standard". What a tool.
luluskywalker · 1 points · Posted at 14:48:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I like how throwing random synonyms in sentences suddenly makes you smart. Serious question: If they were as smart as they think they are, wouldn't their sentence structure be different to better use those words?
rj20876 · 1 points · Posted at 14:50:26 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm pro-baseball bat to the face.
danetrain05 · 1 points · Posted at 14:56:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The teacher of my college English class said we should try to stay away from contractions.
Never gave a reason.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 14:58:25 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Obvious troll is obvious.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Holy shit, this post should be stickied on top.
ThreeLF · 1 points · Posted at 15:09:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Someone please educate him on the nature of language's evolution. I mean he clearly wants to be smart.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:12:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Fucking wow.
mypethuman · 1 points · Posted at 15:29:34 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh my god
troponinnutrition · 1 points · Posted at 15:32:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
There's nothing smart about being slow and inefficient.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 15:42:08 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
People like this die in fist fights.
warongiygas · 1 points · Posted at 15:54:10 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Nah, you were just born that way.
Too easy?
JSRambo · 1 points · Posted at 16:03:46 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I smell a troll here.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 16:05:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I AM LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE.
Fuck we wish.
PowErBuTt01 · 1 points · Posted at 16:34:12 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
But you don't appreciate it enough to use English to the fullest extent in which it was intended... with, y'know, contractions n shit.
CLG_Portobello · 1 points · Posted at 16:36:28 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
troll
PutYaGunsOn · 1 points · Posted at 16:52:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I'm not one for violence, but if someone actually said this to me, I would smack the fuck outta them until their fedora falls off.
ghroat · 1 points · Posted at 16:53:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
clearly a troll
SilviOnPC · 1 points · Posted at 17:04:22 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
I literally facepalmed
tPSoLC · 1 points · Posted at 17:10:00 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Holy fuck, this is honestly one of the worst - if not the worst - entry I've seen on this subreddit so far.
WOX_69 · 1 points · Posted at 17:17:32 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Oh fuck no.
ophello · 1 points · Posted at 17:25:01 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
What sub was this from?
eoinster · 1 points · Posted at 18:46:30 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Well fuck, ding ding ding we have a winner.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:05:09 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
This has to be a troll
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 19:14:03 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
SATIRE
admdelta · 1 points · Posted at 19:20:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Sounds like he's a Clan aligned Mech pilot.
Soundch4ser · 1 points · Posted at 19:55:34 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Where do you people find this stuff? Man that's amazing.
Arklelinuke · 1 points · Posted at 20:00:04 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"You are an idiot."
brosenfeld · 1 points · Posted at 20:00:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
"However, I have chosen not to use them," is what he should have said. His current phrasing implies that he makes the choice repeatedly, whenever the opportunity arises. Whereas the following sentences imply that he had previously made the choice only once and he intended it to be a permanent one. /s
jdepps113 · 1 points · Posted at 20:27:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
So often, shit that gets posted in here really isn't that big a deal in my opinion.
But this...this is legit. Fuck this moron.
mrsirthemovie · 1 points · Posted at 20:53:15 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
The best response to that drivel would be "lol ok".
Tomteseal · 1 points · Posted at 21:27:13 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
So the guy think he's Data from Star Trek or something, right?
Tubes_69 · 1 points · Posted at 21:56:27 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Why stop there? Why not speak solely in Old English, or fucking Latin?
McSpoon202 · 1 points · Posted at 22:13:45 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Religiously not using contractions makes you sound like a non-native speaker, or an asshole. Sometimes, both.
NathanDickson · 1 points · Posted at 22:38:39 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
After that, no more compliments arrived.
Elisionist · 1 points · Posted at 22:43:52 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
careful he might go all twista on you if he's not thinking hard enough
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 03:10:27 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Samboni94 · 1 points · Posted at 09:45:39 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Actually, that is correct. The contraction has an apostrophe, possessive does not.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 08:07:19 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
Sir, is this particular individual bothering you? Sir?
OfficialTacoLord · 1 points · Posted at 18:36:12 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
I wanna slap him...
IJesusChrist · 1 points · Posted at 20:20:07 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
He's got to be the best troll ever.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:08:04 on November 10, 2015 · (Permalink)
About once a week I either encounter or read about someone I would legitimately like to get into a fist-fight with. This is such a person.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 22:03:20 on November 11, 2015 · (Permalink)
I want to believe
KingOfDatShit · 1 points · Posted at 21:08:14 on December 28, 2015 · (Permalink)
Nah, I'm saying it now. The English language sucks a dick and two balls.
Coooturtle · 1 points · Posted at 22:56:28 on December 28, 2015 · (Permalink)
Contractions are pointless. Split them up into 2 words so that you get to the word limit on your papers quicker.
Testudinaes · 1 points · Posted at 12:41:43 on January 2, 2016 · (Permalink)
YOU ARE an idiot
ChrisTheCoolBean · 1 points · Posted at 23:59:31 on April 11, 2016 · (Permalink)
If Cyan really did appreciate the beauty of the English language, then he'd appreciate all of it, including the contractions.
lucid-tits · 1 points · Posted at 05:49:15 on April 21, 2016 · (Permalink)
My rate becomes slower therefore hopefully comma slow enough for the average individual to keep up with me period
DrProbably · 1 points · Posted at 09:09:06 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
So even intentionally obnoxious trolls are fair game now?
InkFoxclaw · 1 points · Posted at 17:08:27 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Are you retarded?"
So elegant and graceful. Sometimes the smallest phrases speak the loudest
Chet_Awesomelad · 1 points · Posted at 20:51:42 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
"Beautiful"? Really? That's the way they'd choose to describe our mongrel of a language - formed from several different origins; riddled with stolen words; a pronunciatory fucking nightmare! English is fucked.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 06:17:59 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)*
So many obvious troll posts get shared here. C'mon guys.
EDIT: Sorry dudes, good find...
bartlebeetuna · -1 points · Posted at 04:11:16 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
trolled
[deleted] · -4 points · Posted at 03:20:37 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
They all write like obnoxious college profs.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 09:16:11 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Clearly trolling.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:27:31 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
xlostboys · 1 points · Posted at 21:04:41 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
How long do you think it will take him to left it?
B4rberblacksheep · -2 points · Posted at 10:49:17 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
You're not wrong you're just an asshole
C21H30O2_81x7 · -3 points · Posted at 04:30:49 on November 9, 2015 · (Permalink)
Yep, retard