I'm hijacking this comment because this has happened to me with the cops before. Got pulled over for drinking/driving. Wasn't even drunk. Got told to get out of my car, got frisked, the cop grabbed my junk and pulled on it like he'd just found some contraband. He realized what it was and dropped it like it was hot.
I got off with a ticket that I then disputed in court and won because the frisky cop didn't show up. AMA
I've twice had partners that we're too big. I've never had a partner that was too small. Don't stress it. I know women are made to stretch, but that doesn't mean we want to feel like we're giving birth backwards.
bimmatic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:48:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey don't feel bad. It's better than hitting the back with an inch to spare.
Heroin is dope, I really don't think there are many heroin fiends on Reddit lol. You can't say dope fiends and mean dope = weed, no one says weed fiend.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're underestimating how many people regularly use heroin
Ah, manchvegas lol. Girlfriend is from right up the road in Vermont.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they might not be discussing it there but recent studies have shown that over a half million individuals in the US alone reported using heroin in the last year. It's also largely a very young demographic like reddit's.
lukanmj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/opiates exists. It's a pretty fun sub with lots of cool stories and harm reduction. So yeah, there are quite a few dope fiends but they don't allow sourcing on their sub which I think is fair.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised that you think they don't monitor is closely. Reddit houses some of the most popular forums to advertise and sell drugs. Problem is, all the smart fish take precautions to protect their identities. It's very difficult to do anything but watch
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:00:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that like a time release method for hardcore drug use? You just decide one day "I'd like to store the drugs in my penis blood so I'll get a boner, inject some silly stuff and then see how long I can maintain that erection and stave off the high."
Man imagine doing that and having sex. Moments after you blow your load and go into standby mode the silly stuff hits your system. From one high to another in seconds with no post-coitus needles needed.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:06:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Is that like a time release method for hardcore drug use?
Just a part of your pre-heist preparation routine.
See, the real trick here is to get your dick nice and swollen with infection and meth residue so nobody wants to touch it. The loot they took off him is just a distraction. He has the priceless diamonds that were waiting in the safe for a buyer hidden inside his narrow urethra. Maybe just in his pocket if he is cocky enough as nobody will investigate that pocket any further. There's probably a hole in his pocket just in case and sand in the other as a last resort diststraction tactic.
By the time they realize that they haven't recovered the most valuable of the stolen goods, this guy has escaped from the prison hospital by bribing the nurses with his precious jewels.
The lesson here is that you have to start out small and then just steadily grow your assets until you are confident enough to pull off a job like that.
You should try LSD. The size of your boner wont even matter at all. Your bodies fuse so you can literally share orgasms with your partner in way that, you wont even know if its you or her whose having the actual orgasm.
Same way mushrooms can practically cure alcoholism for some people and change their lives while others just get the giggles and a fun Saturday . Everyone gets something different out of it
uhh... well a woman is required for the kind of experience i was talking about lol. and seriously? you don't go outside and watch freaking nature? my favorite is laying down and looking up to the trees while listening to pink floyd. everything starts to spin, very much like a kaleidoscope and i get amazing visuals with my eyes closed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I wasn't talking about taking it alone. But i get your point. It can also vary a lot for each person, I dont have a problem peeing, but it definitely feels like it takes waay longer than usual. which isn't unusual on lsd
Yeah, MDMA did nothing to help my dick. Like I went on a tinder "hangout" with a girl who gave me some, and then we smoked a ton of weed and it just wasn't happening.
Lolworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gutted for you mate. All that warmth and loving and only a button mushroom to work with.
I was like that at first doing meth. I had a girlfriend try forever to get that thing hard, poor precious thing. Well after a month or so it went completely opposite and it was wild, nasty sex all night. Something about being doped up made us as nasty as it can get. I kind of miss it but my wife does a damn good job as well.
I'm a girl on Adderall reading this and I have no idea what's going on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adderall is an amphetamine, amphetamines constricts blood vessels and draw blood to your major organs. (This is why you may be pale or your hands, feet, finger, or toes might get really cold or start to feel numb.) For males, adderall and other stimulants can make their junk shrink while on the drug(s) because of the constricted blood vessels and lack of blood flow to their junk.
Not cannabis 4 me it's for more a effective than boner pills without the bad side effects
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the drug. Cocaine definitely helps, although runs with the chance of fucking blood flow up, presumably other stimulants work well too.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:54:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no. Stimulants in moderation can get you a bit randier, but stimulants in excess will leave you with a floppy no matter how horny your brain is. Ecstasy, cocaine are very similar that way.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to ride in the back of a police car once.* As I got out of the car, he told me to go home and wash everything because "every bodily fluid you can imagine has been on those seats."
*Yy friend's tire blew out in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere at 3 a.m., and the local police had to drive us to fill the spare.
Getting bludgeoned to death by a horny wolverine on PCP only starts out fun because of the novelty of it, but that ravenous red rocket quickly wipes the smile off your face as everything gets dark blow after blow
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:18:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he is sometimes cuffed during sexy time it may have triggered the blood flow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's a half boner. The most Impressive boner. Sometimes i lurk myself in the mirror with this big soft pรฉnis. It's very Impressive because i find mine pretty short at rest. But the half boner penis makes it a monstruosity. I feel like Rocco Sifredi. So much feels to think your Johnson big, that's the best thing in the world.
I was always ashamed at the pool when i was a teen/kid. If only they knew my trues powers.
Edit : you gave me envy to do a mirror's penis scession tonight.
Came to comments looking for this. "That's my penis"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what happens when your pants are not covering your crouch. The police might mistake it for a weapon xD
AbMooga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What I don't get is how he went from feeling on his left pocket then jumps directly to where his penis would be, not like a gradual feeling around, he goes from side pocket directly to dick area.
This is just a touch between men! Why does everyone have to make it a bad thing? Any man can touch another man's penis; it is a part of what makes us manly! It is our heritage, our birthright! It does not make you decadent or warm, but it makes you stronger if you acknowledge it!
The way he says everything sounds fantastic. I wish my voice was close to his it sounds pretty lame on my youtube channel but I'm thinking the more I talk the better I'll get at it.
He seemed way too important to be arrested for not paying for a meal. His manner of speaking makes him sound like he is some sort of powerful tycoon or political figure. Plus the fact that it took that many cops made it seem like a siege.
I'm just going to go with "he was the democratically elected leader of Australia but was arrested by the corrupt opposition for treason to the crown. The Australian crown."
psylent ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:37:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was our actually our prime minister in 1982 for a week. He was kicked out of the job for constant eat and run offences.
Retsejme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Story can be found in video comments
It's kinda like the star wars cantina in there... I looked. I'm not exactly sure what I was looking for or what I was looking at. "A story" is not how I would describe any of it.
and other places
I bet. If only we knew which places. Or his name. Or something like that.
He was the people's leader of the old Commonwealth of Australia (or OCA for short). Once the opposition took over, they created the new territory and set off to arrest all the old political figures in a famous imprisonment known as the Sydney Siege. He was later executed for not refusing to recognize the new government, and was hanged by his penis. Either that or he stole the food.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He reminds me of Winston Churchill for some reason
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:03:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite quote:
We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills, we shall GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS! - Winston Churchill
Fair enough. Never really been an issue for me. There's guys I find attractive but I'm fairly sure it's just appreciation of their looks and a hint of envy, it's never sexual, although I thought it might be for about a week. I feel like people who are into that sort of stuff are more likely to accept it now than any time in the last couple hundred years, so that's nice.
I'm pretty sure I've seen a clip of Bailey Jay flashing people at an event and then telling security "It's okay, I'm a boy." So yeah, a chick with a dick or a boy with boobs... whichever one makes you feel better about being attracted to them :P
In short, it's about this man spinning and swinging his penis around. He accidently killed a lady's dog while trying to flirt with her. She doesn't like it and he is sent to court. The charges are dropped, because the judge also likes to spin and swing his penis around.
Sometimes a man can feel like how long his penis is is actually important but is it? When you boys measured your penis length the truth is it doesn't really matter. What does matter is: length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.
xXGriMe ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:05:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that weight of the penis or weight of the guy? I need to know by Friday.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
w_c = clean weight of the penis, weight without any foreskin or pubic hair.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Industry Standard is to do a a liner regression of skin density and based on the surface area apply a correction factor to calculate get an estimated weight.
The real question is is this erect or flaccid? If we define (P_I)_0 as flaccid and (P_I)_1 as erect, then we could come to a relation of [(P_I)_1]/[(P_I)_0] to better statistically categorize people who define as "growers" or "showers".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really good point, we call this the "GS Number"
gamobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would more of a "ratio" than a "Number". GS ratio.
Most likely weight of the penis. Is we were to take into account the weight of the man, we'd need to take into account his height and body fat percentage as well.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fail to see the relation between race and circumcision. The relation has to do with culture and religion. Jews and Muslims do it, and it is also popular in America for various reasons, such as certain misconceptions as well as Jewish influences on the medical industry. Over the years the trend has begun to decline and continues to do so. In European countries it is the other way around, circumcision is not the norm. In many eastern european countries where there are predominantly whites, it is in fact extremely uncommon.
zexez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brace yourself for the downvotes my friend...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very suspicious. Check it out, Johnson.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dumb question of the day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christians are not circumcised. The only christians that are circumcised are Americans, and that's because they are American.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That link proves my point...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:54:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half those countries are muslim countries with a christian minority so its no surprise that its a cultural norm there. The African countries performed circumcision before christian missionaries even got there. Even the Africans who are not christian today have performed circumcision for hundreds of year due to their pagan beliefs. As for the Philippines and South Korea, both were occupied by the Americans during WW2 and adopted it from them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:48 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:08 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was talking about predominately muslim I was referring to Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Palestine, and North Africa. Not sure why your said Israel.
plenty of circumcised Christians are not American
In total but not relatively speaking.
plenty of circumcised Christians are not circumcised because they are American
This is just not true. If its not because they are American, then its definitely not because they're christian because most christians globally are not circumcised.
or even because of American influence.
You have no proof of this. I read what I said about the Philippines and South Korea on /r/AskHistorians. But you can also read it here.
I understand you grew up in America so its probably normal for you to think everyone is circumcised but that is far from true. Here is a map of global circumcision rates by country. Keep in mind this is a bad graph because of the 20-80 percent group which is overly massive. Canada and Australia fall in it despite being very low in that category while the US is ~70. Besides America, Africa and muslim countries. The majority of the world is not circumcised. It is far from a global norm.
If you need more proof read the first paragraph on wikipedia here. If you don't want to read it, it says 70% of circumcised people globally are muslim.
jack2454 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jew
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zexez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well you're probably American, not to generalize, because your school system is shit and your grammar and ignorance proves this. You're circumcised because you are American and no other reason. It's just a coincidence that your christian.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to private school too, bud. Except I'm not lying.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you actually went to Switzerland there is no way you make your first comment. No one over there is circumcised unless they are a minority religion like jewish or muslim. And they make a a VERY small number of people.
jack2454 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know what there dicks look like?
Easysplit ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 20:28:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the ensuing 10 mins can you sort of take it off, then put it back on, but in like a stroking motion? Just do that for about 5-10 mins and then you can finish arresting me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he gets aroused when in handcuffs. Not everybody's a druggie!
Stankie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:54:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, some of us are perfectly normal. Now dip your foot in this jar of honey while you do the truffle shuffle, I'm going to watch and beat off while I hang upside down with my head dunked in a fish tank containing two Betta fighting fish. All the while, three midgets in costumes reenact that scene from the Lion King when Simba loses his dad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck....
Stankie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that, like, everyone's go to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stay out of my porn stash.
Tzipity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bizarrely specific. I feel bad for you if it takes that much effort (and bettas and midgets and all) for you to get off. Good luck with your fetish, sir. There's gotta be someone out there even for you. ;)
Stankie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's usually that or missionary.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about it, stud!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people who get arrested shirtless and shoe-less are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well when I worked at Starbucks we had a number of homeless dudes (and non-homeless dudes) who thought a cafe would be a pretty good place to whack it. So there may have been some pre-gaming here, as it were.
doesn't necessarily mean it's a boner, i've seen guys dragging a pork tenderloin around the crotch even when they're not aroused. Guy's just got a big dick.
I've done it. It was my first day in uniform...I hadn't been to academy yet and was riding with another officer just to get a feel for the city. We caught some truants and he asked me to pat one of them down.
He had baggy jeans that were down around his hips and I thought I was checking his waistband when BAM handful of wiener.
That kid started yelling about how his momma was gonna own our department after they brought their lawsuit. I was mortified...my LT told me I was fine since I was just doing my job.
The kid got his arm partially amputated last year by a homeowner that decided he didn't want to be burglarized and took quick action with his sword.
riptaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have a gun and a machete. Although the gun is obviously first choice, if I can ascertain that it's someone without a gun or I'm putting someone else in my house in danger by firing, I'll go with the machete. It owns most other weapons besides a firearm and isn't as risky if you've got other people to worry about and/or have managed to figure out what the people breaking in are armed with.
But just to be clear, gun is the safer bet almost always. Would not recommend risking it if you're not sure
zuiquan1 ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 20:38:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you dude. Many years ago I was arrested for a DUI, and they piss-tested me for BAC. I felt bad for the cop that had to hold my dick since my hands were still in cuffs.
I think this is maybe an American thing, I don't think they're even allowed in the UK. Maybe they are, but I've never even heard of someone having on. I think the idea that someone would have a sword in their home that they then wielded as a weapon to defend themselves is what makes it so bizarre to me.
Completely legal! You can't take them outside though. You can be a collector, have a decorative piece, or just keep it in the home for self defence, but you can't take it outside - unless it's for re-enactment and you have proper proof.
Interesting. I'm quite surprised you're allowed them for self defence. I'm not at all well versed with the law on this but I thought only 'reasonable force' is allowed. Would have guessed a sword would fall out of this remit.
Just because you have a sword doesn't mean you have to stab them to death. Just the threat of a sword (i.e. common-law assault) is going to be enough to scare off a lot of would-be burglars. So long as you don't chase them down the street once they run away, or kill them (killing them will make it a lot harder to use self defence because, as you said, reasonable force) you'll most likely be able to rely on the defence.
Icanweld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shit even Sheldon Cooper keeps a sword on the wall. this is America
It wasn't anywhere near where I work and i don't know how to correctly link the story but here is a quote:
According to the Sheriff's Office, after the first 911 call, the resident armed himself with a sword and slashed the person who had broken into his house.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it'd happen pretty often to you guys to be honest, that's right where I keep my gun and if I were the type to wear my pants low it'd be right at a level with my unit.
Probably amputated around the forearm/elbow instead of at the shoulder.
devolute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best story about touching someone else's penus ever!
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew processes individuals in for the county jail.. Oh god his stories are hilarious. Asked him how it was after his first cavity search - he gagged.
Was this near Johns Hopkins? Because my buddy's neighbor cut off a kid's hand with a sword for robbing him a few years ago. Surprised if this is commonplace
Holy shit. That's a cause for groping people in US? Missing school? Why no cavity search while you are at it?
Land of the free indeed....
I was just doing my job.
Now where have I heard this one before? Hmmmm....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, let's have the guy who hasn't been to the Academy yet out on the street patting people down. Sounds like a great idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, let's have the guy who hasn't been to the Academy yet out on the street patting people down. Sounds like a great idea.
Yeah, exactly what I was thinking as well. People are OK with people who are not cops pretending to be cops in US, grabbing people's genitals for not going to school? "Professional" cop saying he'll surely get away with it so no need to worry.
Amazing how this is apparently a controversial view to people here.
ksykx ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 21:05:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god...I read your comment and I was like haha, that's interesting, looked at the gif again and then slowly realized that it looked familiar to me too.. THEN I REALIZED IT'S THE TRIANGLE. I LIVE HERE TOO. WHAT.
This is the real magic of reddit. When two strangers can find out they both live in an apartment complex where a cop accidentally jerked a man off, who may have been or could still be one of their neighbors or even a previous resident of their home.
BDaught ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:27:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BDaught ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. Cold turkey withdrawals from a GABAb agonist (a fucking muscle relaxer). Basically a CT benzo withdraw. Lost my fucking mind slowly. Luckily I wasn't in public wasn't in a public place. 10 day nightmare until they figured out what was wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they go to medical school for so long, right? I think that's the only way to get your penis legally qualified to detect this kind of cancer.
fusems ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, the glans is one of the most sensitive spots of the body, it makes sense.
Pagiras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cock would not cut it either. Pretty sure you'd need a knife of some sort for that.
M3wcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would actually probably be pretty effective. The penis is much more sensitive than the finger, and you can actually surprisingly feel very accurately with it. For example, it's much easier to feel and predict contractions of vaginal muscles during unprotected sex than with your finger. A seasoned buggerer can probably detect prostate cancer as well as a doctor.
You know, out of all the medical procedures, this one still seems like the most barbaric. There've got to be better ways to look around then sticking two fingers up your fucking bum.
Then my wife didn't cheat on me after all because they used a condom, she wasn't getting fucked by his dick, she was just getting fucked by some latex, pretty much the same as a dildo right?
I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that hence actually means "from here" (and thence, "from there"; whence, "from where"), so saying "from hence" is unnecessarily repetitive.
He never checked the front right pocket. Also I always hide my weed under my balls so good luck finding it. You'd have to really want me in jail to look that closely
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 20:29:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, your weed has distinct notes of ball-sweat flavor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sisters boyfriend says the same thing yet I've been patted down there myself when I used to keep my personal supply in the rim of my carhartt so I don't know what any of you people are talking about =\
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I burnt a hole into it from the inside of the pocket by mistake with a half put out cig, worked out perfectly in the long run. Nice long flexable cloth tube
r40k ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:36:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jacket.... lining?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what it's called? Hm. I thought the lining was the layer of cloth on the inside. Probably a stupid thought.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've had to pat people down before. You knife hand them down the crack and reach through to pat both sides. So, they'd definitely feel your stash if they did a proper pat down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what happened. I've only ever been searched a few times but that jacket lining is the only thing that ever kept me safe somehow
w00kiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. Under your balls? How is this possible? Explain.
98785258 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See I usually try to wear boxer-briefs and I can just tuck it directly up under my sac. I can easily fit up to a quarter ounce under my balls without it being obvious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana doesn't seem like the kind of thing I'd like to purchase from under someones ballsack..
Yeah I just put my own under there when I'm in a particularly police heavy neighborhood
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't picture it because my mental reference image isn't allowing it (due to rules of gravity). In my head (also because I am not the proud owner of a set of balls) you'd need to tape it or tie it (sounds painful) for it to stay.
Some Penises are bigger than others.
It is ok if yours does not rise above your belt.
Just because this man's dingus is above his belt, does not make you any less of a man.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:33:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be real though, he was trying to search around the waistband - which was below his dick... soo... he had it coming.
ElFeje ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody wants to see your ass hanging out. Pull your pants up dip shit
[deleted] ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 19:22:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AeAeR ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 20:37:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ the women in that room were annoying. Yes, it's been 3 minutes, and you've called 911 3 times, and giving the dispatcher shit because police don't teleport. The dude was fucked up on something, but clearly wasn't assaulting the two guys out there with him, but was just being crazy by yelling and doing weird belt things. Calm down and give the police more than a minute to arrive before you call them again.
Or maybe I'm just desensitized to being around crazy people due to all the homeless near me.
58king ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:02:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They honestly sound like little kids. It's pathetic.
AeAeR ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:24:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they sound like sheltered high-schoolers. If this dude was on the street, I'd turn up my headphones and continue walking past him. Oh, he's yelling incoherently and is taking his clothes off? No gun or knife, and not assaulting the people standing right next to him? I've got shit to do. Even the security guards (if that's what those guys were) clearly aren't that concerned, no need to be freaking the fuck out in a closed office full of people.
58king ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the streets, I personally would take the earplugs out and keep my hands out of my pockets while keeping him in my periphery vision and giving him a wide berth. It is easy to dismiss someone as a harmless looney until they sneak up on you and try to exorcise your demons with their fingernails.
Their screaming was literally retarded though. It only drew more attention to them and may have fed into his insanity.
AeAeR ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair and smart. I'd keep my hands out and an eye on him, but subtly, because where I'm at the crazy people latch onto you if you acknowledge them or if they know you can hear them. The smart move would be to turn off the headphones but keep them in, but I'm so desensitized to it at this point that him yelling would just piss me off.
When that crazy bitch says, "Oh my god, you need to get here now, he's leaving!" I wanted to slap that phone out of her hand. You've got a "threat", you've called the cops, and now you're concerned that he's leaving?
Thankfully he didn't, and he just banged the table behind him.
AeAeR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked how she said he was throwing things around the lobby, when clearly he wasn't.
Hell, they'd call this performance art at my old university.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly as a dispatcher, the best thing to do is keep them on the phone, and control the situation so they can't freaking out like that and screaming. Making sure they keep you updated on what is going on and being descriptive is a good way for them to focus and not let their fear take over...especially when he doesn't have a gun, isn't pounding on the door, and isn't threatening them.
AeAeR ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:11:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This makes a lot of sense, really good idea! Probably would have kept them calm and quiet, although alternately it could end with multiple hysterical women attempting to scream what's happening into the phone when he does something like hit the glass with the belt. But you do this for a living, you definitely know better than me!
Edit: did people think this was sarcasm?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that happens all the time too. Still, after a minute or so we can usually calm them down and keep them that way unless the situation changes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work maintenance in the apartment complex this happened in. I can confirm they were annoying as hell.
Jonne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure if shit went down, the big security(?) guy in the lobby could've taken him on anyway. He just didn't want to step in if he didn't have to.
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agreed, I just think the security guards doing literally nothing except slightly shifting is a pretty good example of them not being too concerned. They avoided all contact, didn't even say a word to the man, and just stood there. Pretty sure one of them went outside at one point (no rewatching so correct me if I'm wrong). Security guards who sense an actual threat don't act like that.
If society and employers have taught me anything on a national level in the western world, it's that you acting anything other than perfect over social media / the internet in general is grounds for at the very least an investigation if not straight up grounds for dismissal.
Ask yourself this simple question: Would your conduct be permissible in a Disney movie? If the answer is no you're probably getting fired.
iRepth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely the reason I removed all employer information from social media. Which isn't bulletproof but it helps defend against some vindictive douche that aims to get me fired
god those annoying women, and the one that called the cops 3 or 4 times was even lying... she was like "yeah hes picking up things and throwing them." what no hes not?? hes jus whacking the floor with his own belt..
Kromeous ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, holy shit they we're annoying. She's like "Fuck he's not gonna do that is he?" and then repeatedly "I'm sorry guys, guys i'm sorry, i'm so sorry guys that was unprofessional, i'm sorry, sorry guys." "guys i'm sorry". Jesus fuck nobody cares, obviously!
"911 it's an emergency, you're supposed to come if it is an emergency."
I think the dispatcher knows what number you called lady. Maybe if you described what what happened as calmly as you could instead of screaming the the phone, they could get someone to you sooner.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he's definitely not deaf. He doesn't have a deaf voice at all and he doesn't demonstrate any deaf mannerisms. It's just a crazy dude shouting gibberish.
I read somewhere that deaf people will sign reactions like how I would just blurt out "fuck" if something startled me or I was angry, but he doesn't seem to sign. Anyone know if this is true?
n_s_y ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:46:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live with a guy who had diabetes and the first thing that he told us when he moved in was that if he was acting strange that we had to call a doctor and give him his shot because if it got to that point he would be resistant. So that definitely seemed like what was happening here.
What kind do you think? Way too angry for mushroom or acid.
motdidr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pcp
nerv_gas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah, its very possible. I'm putting this down to hallucinogens actually.
I have had a violent outburst myself when I blacked out on LSD. I would never hurt anybody, but just doing what I thought was funny or felt right, and I can see this very possibly happening to anybody who takes the same amount of LSD with enough alcohol or, many combos with a hallucinogen in the mix.
I can't tell of those girls are frightened or very entertained. I don't hear fear in their voices.. more like excitement.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:07:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were definitely enjoying themselves. 100%. They were relishing being able to tell the story later to their friends.
My mother-in-law is like that. The worst part is that she loves talking about when someone dies. It's really gross. I'm not saying these ladies are as bad as my mother-in-law, just that they were absolutely excited to watch while feeling protected by the people around them.
Yeah but he just doesn't look afraid. He doesn't look anything, really. Just standing there looking bored. Waiting for some cop to finish stroking his 9-iron.
I googled it and it says that low blood sugar is actually a boner killer.
envyxd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:44:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't actually have a boner, people are just saying it and the cop feeling him makes him look like he does. If you look a bit closer a few seconds before he gets handcuffed and he is closer to the camera, there isn't much there. Maybe the cops did feel his bulge a little, but it wasn't a raging boner.
envyxd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.. I'd say maybe his bulge, but you can't clearly see a boner. The way the cop kinda squeezes his pants are weird.. but idk.. my boner is never sideways like that, I don't think. It always goes down a leg.
envyxd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course.. but haha, I think people are exaggerating here and the title just sensationalizes the situation. If you watch the vid and try to look at his pants, it doesn't look like he has a boner.. The cop just has a feel.
Also, do people get boners in schizophrenic episodes? And if he is on drugs, most drugs that make people crazy like this kinda numb your penis, too.
Also, if his dick is that big, it's definitely not hard the rest of the time. Earlier in the video, you get plenty of angles at his crotch along with all kinds of movement that would display it, but it's not protruding like it would have to be if what they're all saying is true.
I don't think he does. There's something in his pocket. You can see it at 1:28 right in the spot where the cop kept grabbing. The cop wasn't massaging his cock. He was feeling out the shape of whatever it is in his pocket.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't. It was all pocket.
gagnonca ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so you post a gif instead of a video so you can link to the video in the comments and then write the time in a separate comment reply to yourself rather than in the same comment as the video (or better yet--link us right to the time it happens). You must really care about worthless Internet points, loser
Wow so you post a gif instead of a video so you can link to the video in the comments and then write the time in a separate comment reply to yourself rather than in the same comment as the video (or better yet--link us right to the time it happens). You must really care about worthless Internet points, loser -u/gagnonca
What an interestingly negative perspective. Let me offer an alternative scenario. I find a video with a particularly funny bit in it and decide to make a GIF of that moment. As a courtesy to my fellow redditors I submit a comment with the source, which will undoubtedly be requested. Then, as a belated afterthought, I add the time because I realized that a time stamp would also be requested (admitting freely that I am unfamiliar with how to link directly to a specific time in a video). One could even argue that I would have received more โinternet pointsโ if I had just made one comment with the time stamped source. Instead, the additional comment gave me about 40 โpointsโ. Finally, you take it upon yourself to judge someone based on your hasty, and incorrect assumption, and even take the time to explain why you think an internet stranger is a loser on an hours old post. I donโt expect this to resonate with you, as a quick glance at your comment history makes it clear that you enjoy being a dick to random people on this site, but it is my humble opinion that chasing internet points is a much nobler pastime than throwing out cheap insults to internet strangers. I accept in advance that this comment is hypocritical because I am sitting here insulting you, however, I would like to point out that I am getting pleasure from attacking a douchbag stranger, not a random stranger โ so I like to think there is a certain validation in that. Loser.
Mutt1223 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kept waiting for him to drop his pants and plop a deuce right there on the lobby floor.
ElFeje ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:55:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow at the end he said his blood sugar was low. He might just be a diabetic having hypoglycemia. You can get very confused and angry if your blood sugar goes low enough. That scares the shit out of me because I was just diagnosed as type 1 last year.
Bewgs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:27:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL hypoglycemia can turn you into a minion of Satan.
ElFeje ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:30:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone get that bad, but I've seen my dad get completely confused and not know what was going on and refuse to eat. My dad's not naturally an angry person though. The guy could have been lying but I believe him to be honest. I have a huge fear of a really bad low and have watched youtube videos of people having severe ones, they often do get very angry and nothing they say makes any sense. You have almost no brain function if it goes low enough, so imagine being in a dream with no ability to think. If that's what happened I feel bad for this guy, he's on the top of Reddit now and he probably didn't even know what he was doing.
Yeah, he's not though is he. Still got his pants on.
theBesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, she said "he's literally getting naked in front of us," which wasn't particularly unreasonable to assume when he's taken off his shirt, his belt, and unzipped his pants.
RDay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One low sugar blood reading, coming right up Mr Honest/
HEY MEL!
dootdoot
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, he went back for another feel after the first feel.
Deathalo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly looks like he's completely sane/sober and doing it on purpose. For what reason I don't know but it doesn't look like the actions of someone on drugs, it looks like he's thinking about what he can do next without actually attacking someone, like it's a performance.
n_s_y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're absolutely right. You can tell right when the police come in he's very clear, coherent, and speaking normally. He says "my blood sugar is low," doesn't fight back, etc. He's just putting on a show.
ajs824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but just because he is putting on a show doesn't mean he isn't having some sort of episode. Sometimes things aren't so black and white maybe it's a little of both who knows. Sucks that no one in the video decided to try to calm him down or help him and they immediately try to demonize him. I honestly think them being behind the window making all sorts of insensitive comments was just making it worse.
Padarom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did they say "He's a white German [...]" - Did I misunderstand her or what is so German about him?
Probably said "gentleman", not German. If she did say German, which I doubt, it's probably just her trying to guess the language he is speaking. The lady speaking Spanish on the phone afterwards describes him to a friend outside as being "an Arab", which is also probably just her trying to guess the language.
Cop who didn't just grab dick: "yeah, that just happened... Look for something else to do.... Uhh, Yep... these chairs seem to all be in order here..."
I think you're misunderstanding. These are police officers - the best and the brightest of your country, the strongest and the manliest. They both understand that it means nothing to touch another man's penis, that it is only part of being a man.
"You have the right to an unenthusiastic handjob..."
Smgth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to waive my rights please...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, and harassment.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, scroll down as far as possibe (hint:use RES), and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
Absolutely. I felt the same way when I had to strip in front of the prison guards during intake. I just put my fears out of my mind and owned that shit. Never had problems with nudity after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The eyebrow wasn't the only thing being raised
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:54 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated. Was drunk when I made the account. Common mistake.
bed_42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:14:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I watched it again to see this and it's hilarious. He looks like he's thinking "alright then let's do this"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks down. Raises eyebrows as if to say "that is an impressive amount of my cock you're handling there, friend." Looks up with eyebrows still raised.
"Is this a weapon of some sort? Feels like he's got a squirrel in his pa- NOPE, that's definitely his cock."
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like spitting after someone says something nice about someone (kind of an old world custom) or knocking on wood, if you shake your hand after touching a penis it voids the contact of gayness (gaiety?).
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Bief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing you don't know the reference. "Fear boner" is a joke from the TV show "The League." _____ boner period is a running joke on the show. I recall fear and murder off the top of my head, but I'm sure Rafi has used more.
This happened on an episode of Cops years ago. The cop was frisking the guy, grabs something, and goes "What's this?" The guy calmly says "My bleeped because TV." The cop just said "Thaaaat's your penis. I do apologize about that."
Don't mean to be a buzzkill to everyone, but I knew the guy getting arrested and he is now dead. Shortly after the video he hung himself because of this (especially because it was recorded and spread around the internet) and a couple other schizophrenic episodes he felt he could never fight back from. Mental health is always something we as a society seem to dismiss as some drug fueled craziness, when in reality it is a HUGE problem we need to confront. Anyway, I'm sure he would have found the humor in all this during his better days....RIP dude.
Schizophrenia was the first thing I thought of when seeing this video. My sister is schizophrenic and has also gotten nude in public while screaming and throwing things. I did not find this funny at all and I know all the people that did probably just assume it's drugs or just some guy trying to make a scene or get attention, but I wish more people were aware and could have compassion for people affected by mental illnesses.
Fuck. When he calmly took his glasses off and set them down, I had a suspicion it wasn't drugs. Something about how he did that just seemed so normal, like his words and actions were going fucking crazy but his sub-conscience was still struggling for control.
My dad was psychologist and worked with veterans. Every once in a while I'd visit him and see a guy having an argument with a fire extinguisher but then tell us good morning like everything was fine. Another time a guy came up and seemed perfectly normal then He started talking in that jibberish. It sounded like a conversation, but no real words came out.
It's just so terrible to see someone's mind lose control like that.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:12:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was just about to comment that this looks more like a mental illness/schizophrenia freak out than a psychedelic one (although they are very similar). Mainly assumed it wasnt psychs because of the set and setting/clothing, he clearly just started losing it on a normal day in the worst place possible. It just awful to seem him somewhat try to keep things together initially.
Everyone assumes drugs. No one remembers that they could have been born a bit odd and have this same thing happen in their brain too. Its so sad to hear what happened to him.
looks like he's keeping things together in the video to me. He's just standing there right? Was there another video in the parent comment that got edited out or something?
While watching the video it seemed exactly like something my schizophrenic friend would do and wondered if maybe that's what was going on... Sucks man. My brother committed suicide 7 years ago and I'm pretty sure he had it too. I'm sorry for your loss.
n000n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So sad. That was someone's baby boy.
Kuzune ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a source? I'd like to read more if there's an article or something.
And this is what makes reddit such an asinine place. Everybody is lining up to the the first t0tally smart person who can't be fooled, automatically calling fake on everything based on nothing in particular.
dpfagent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but you're probably new to the internet.
What you learn is that the truth eventually comes out, being skeptical doesn't hurt people telling the truth.
This isn't being skeptical. Skeptical implies a person is being cautious, yet at least thinks about it.
This is just reddit culture. "Everything is fake and gay."
And yes, that sort of thing does hurt people telling the truth. A person isn't exactly incentivised to continue interacting with such a toxic crowd who demands extensive proof while slinging insult after insult at them. Then, when the person doesn't bow down to their demands and takes a healthy distance from the angry mob, said mob claims it as a victory and proof of untruthiness. It's such a shitty, low-effort, stupid dynamic. So no, the truth doesn't eventually "just come out" because a bunch of kids cried fake for the sake of crying fake.
dpfagent ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because a bunch of kids cried fake for the sake of crying fake.
This is exactly why I believe you're new to the internet.
Well, someday you'll learn that not everyone is honest and well intended. It has nothing to do with "angry mob", you're just being overdramatic over nothing
Are you trying to get me to let you know how very long I've been here in order to prove your point about the truth coming out when claiming fake or something? It's pretty juvenile to default to claiming negative age/experience when presented with an argument instead of actually discussing the issue. If you're not capable/interested in talking about it, then just don't talk about it.
dpfagent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I'm trying to say is that when someone "claims something as fake" it has nothing to do with them being "childish", but rather with the nature of the internet which makes it easy for people to lie about anything. Being skeptical is only natural when lies can spread so fast.
Perhaps be a little more tough skinned and try to be less "offended" about skeptical people?
He was having a psychotic breakdown in the lobby of his apartment building. He used to blame shit all the time on his diabetes but in the last few months we realized it was a mental illness. As for a source not sure what you want, police took him to hospital for evaluation after this particular video but I don't know how to get that info.
he wasn't booked or charged for above incident, due to him telling the cops that he had "low blood sugar" they took him directly to the hospital. Obituary is found in OP post.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:07:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. Rip bro.
I can imagine he could have totally turned this into the beginning of a cheesy porn with female cops in mini skirts frisking him. Handcuffs ensue. Better plot than a lot of 'em.
broff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I knew him. He seemed like a nice guy. He had kind eyes. I knew it was schizophrenia when the video started.
Why would he hang himself over being embarrassed when its not his embarrassment to hold on too but the officers. Unless you mean the fact that he was just arrested on camera made him upset which I do 100% understand.
This is a .gif from a longer video. He didn't hang himself because of this video in particular (though it did haunt him), but the mental illness made his life unbearable. You are watching one of his first mental breakdown.
Look at it this way. Either you're telling the truth and the world is one less on our nutjob population, or you're lying and you got some sweet karma for free.
You know, your impassioned response really got me thinking....fuck you too.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Dude, getting handjobs from cops.
nerv_gas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:28:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that. In truth, drugs induce a temporary psychosis sometimes and it is easier for most people (incl. myself) to chalk it up to something temporary than to recognise it as a larger issue.
This is also because (for me) I have only experienced temporarily induced psychosis/schizophrenia through drugs, and do not deal with long term issues of schizoid disorders and other such extreme mental health problems.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:54:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally anything to back this up. I think you're trolling for the bleeding heart karma.
gooose ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm skeptical like you. What struck me as an odd coincidence was the obituary mentioned JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) as a donation option. He did mention his low blood sugar in the video -_- I'm really confused.
Nick12506 ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 21:13:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't blame the Internet for your ex-friends mental health. He had a condition before he ever used the Internet. You should have gotten him help before all of this. I would even say it is your own fault had you knew about his unstable mind that he had.
LSmoove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would even say it is your own fault had you knew about his unstable mind that he had."
Excuse my crassness, but what the fuck are you even trying to express here? He (the comment you replied to) is saying that he knew the man in the video and that his mental illness caused his death. He's not blaming the video or the Internet for that matter of causing his friends death. By giving this personal insight, he is adding to the conversation while attempting to raise awareness or at least bring up a talking point about how mental illness is so misunderstood in this country. I wasn't going to comment seeing as I didn't have much to add in terms of substance but your comment really bothered me because it's a trend I see in a lot of Reddit comments. Say something meaningful or at least semi relevant/clever, otherwise STFU
I'm was expressing that if he knew his friend was close to suicide he should have gotten him help instead of bitching about how the Internet was to blame. He was very clear in his comment when he said
(especially because it was recorded and spread around the internet)
This sentence shows he is blaming the Internet. While in reality it was the pig that molested the man with a mental illness that was on the brink of suicide. Had the friend knew about the mental health issue he should blame himself for allowing the friend to die.
Yes, It's my responsibility if someone close to me take's their own life. You sir are a dumb fuckstick. Go back to whatever parents basement you crawled out from.
Well, why are you talking shit about the Internet? The Internet did not go up to him and tell him to kill himself, his mental issues caused him to do so. You trying to use the Internet as a scapegoat is sickening.
All I said was that the video being recorded and put on YouTube was a reason that he gave before deciding to do what he did. I placed no blame on anything in my post other than that it was a mental brake down and that now the subject of an oh so funny .gif, that people have upvoted on is dead. I am not, nor have I blamed any person other than him for taking his own life. Anyway dude, he was my friend, he's dead, and seeing him in a .gif gave me the opportunity to raise the fact that Mental Illness is something we should take seriously. And it's also not my fault the cop wanted to feel his cock before they arrested him, and I do think it's funny that he is memorialized in "the Internet" as having a huge cock.
I just want to say that I am really sorry for you loss. I can only imagine how much it must suck to see so many people on the internet mocking a loved one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't want to hurt the Internet's feelings would we? it might senselessly and shortsightedly attempt to trivialize your friends death to boost its own sense of worth.
By making the Internet the bad guy ruins it for everyone. The Internet isn't going to go kill people, it's that persons fault. Not the Internet. Using the Internet as a tool to take the blame is wrong, it only can help people. How people use that knowledge is what is wrong.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source on the "Douglas Hughes" case since OP won't provide one. Sorry. I think people have the right to know.
What I really find funny is how he extends his hand out and open, like if it's contaminated despite the glove, and now he has to go burn his own hand or something.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:44:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was the "cop a feel" joke already made?
kioku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was was having a wank when he was arrested, which would have killed his little man, then the sound of latex slapping got the little man part-way back to life?
xYezaH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst moment when you find out your into kinky stuff.
HS27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me going into a music festival about 10 years ago. I had poured 500ml of Jรคgermeister into a Coke bottle and smuggled it in in my crotch. The security guy brushed firmly against it, paused for one horrified second and waved me on through. My ex girlfriends would never have made that mistake.
bales912 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the top post. All of our collective thought brought together with the wonders of technology, and this is what humanity has voted most worthy of my attention. Vishnu bless the internet.
Unfortunately, I've been the feeler at times. In one event I'm patting a guy down after arrest and feel something solid down his leg. I was taken aback and said, "Hey, what's this?" He turned down and looked past his shoulder and said in no uncertain terms, "That's muh dick." It happens.
Well he jacked the guy off, that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a cop do. Kidding of course.
Chillgar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who works in a prison and has to frisk prisoners all the time. He was frisking one guy, and grabbed something just about down to the guys knee. He asked him what he was hiding and the prisoner said "Nothing, that is my hook up." The guard made him drop his pants and saw the largest penis in his life. He told the guy why he should have gone into porn instead of crime, he would have been more successful.
I remember seeing a video somewhere online where something similar happened (I already looked for it and can't find it). A cop is frisking some guy and grabs his junk and goes "Sir, what is this. What do you have here?"
b_oarder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit wow haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The shame on the cop's face and the rising enjoyment on the perp's face are perfectly in synch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for karma? ok jokes aside this police man has a job to do and checking to make sure thats not a harmfull object is a big part i assume therefore i cant blame hime having another tug haha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Burman, check this perp for weapons!"
"Fuck you Simms, make the rookie."
"Hey Gomerdue. Yes you shitstain, make sure this guy doesn't have anything dangerous in his pants!"
patter patter patter...squeeze, frown, squeeze more
This man is getting arrested, half naked, in a lobby, with cameras, and a man groping him and he still holds an erection. This man isn't a criminal, he is a god damn saint.
Sorry to deflate everyone's boners, but that's not a boner. You can clearly see something in his pants pocket earlier in the video, and it's in the same exact spot the cop was fondling.
I love the guy on the left, he is so embarrassed of the situation he just looks in another direction to act as if he wasn't apart of the awkwardness. Classic
She watched the video.
Accidentally muttered, "Fuck me".
Husband said, "What was that, dear?"
"Um, nothing."
Diluxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most awkward thing to do is pretend it wasn't awkward in that situation you just have to own it, pull your hand off and laugh even comment "im impressed man I thought you were carrying a black jack or something, now off jail."
gethro87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a corrections officer at a max. Saw a new guy do this during a pat down. Grabbed a hold of it too. Literally looked just like this .. Poor guy hasn't lived it down.
He was like "wtf is this !?" The con was like "my joint! Keep going fag". Fuck we died lmfao.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that's a gun in your pocket or are you....oh....ewww
Oh what have you got here. Damn that's on there pretty tight. Maybe if I just rub it back and forth... wait a minute... oops. Awkwardly looking away is the only way to deal with this
Internal monologue: I found a gun. Oh no wait, it's a penis. No wait, that can't be right. Well what is it then? Feels familiar. Oh wait, yeah it's he's penis. Look away, look away. Don't laugh.
Wish I knew what he was getting arrested for. Don't want to say I would feel up someone who is being arrested for human trafficking but that guy is kinda sexy
What... what is this? Press press Hmmm it's firm... Press press Oh god no, what have I done? Is anybody looking? Did anybody see me? Okay I'm pretty sure nobody saw me grabbing this guy's dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you even say after that, it seems weird to just say "Sorry".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTMf-oMm3x8 What else can you say? Pockets and up in the waistband at around 12oclock are prime places to store a handgun, I'm sure it happens all the time.
mellul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LuckyEk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing because I've done the same thing!
I was working doors at a nightclub and had to do the pat downs.
Me:Feeling bar in jeans pocket "Oh hey, what's this?"
Him: "That's me"
If it's from the video I'm thinking of - this dude is high on... something strong... and was previously running around hitting things and screaming incoherently... I'm guessing this was a side-effect of the drug?
stanhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"what's that in his pocket? ... wtf it's hard-soft kind of like a boner . Can't be his dick, it's very big... what is it- holy shit godamnit fuck! hope nobody noticed that !"
savbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate to be a buzz kill but from earlier parts in the source he had stuff in that pocket (non-phallic) so I'm going to have to dismiss this as sensationalism and not true.
MeateaW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at school, In year 5 or so, just after tennis training, a bunch of us were sitting around and one of us had a boner, and was talking about it a lot.
Another kid not involved in the conversation comes up, we point out the boner, and he's like: nah that isn't a boner it's a tennis ball and proceeds to grab it.
The face on that cop is very familiar.
Hooostin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha this is the funniest gif I've seen in a long time. The look on the guy face after he realized he was fondling the guys dick
You can see the moment when the suspect informs the officer of his pork sword grabbing, because both officers do the lackadaisical arm swing like "ah fuck anyways"
thurken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it fair to show the face of the suspect like that? Can't it be super negative for him?
Javad0g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you right now, the last place my boner is going to be if I was being arrested is out. I would be so scared you couldn't coax the turtle head out of the shell no matter what you did.
Pretty sure my balls would backtrack and find their per-pubescent home as well.....
Remind me of that video where the cop is patting down a guy and feels something and says "what's that" and the guy getting searched goes "that's my penis"
They see a bulge they have to check because it could be a weapon. Its unfortunate but i bet it happens more often then you think. Jus remember..someone right now is asking a inmate to spread his butt cheeks for him to search for any weapons so it could be worse. Lol
He knew what he was grabbing, he's a cop you don't think he's touched a dick. Shame shame this police brutality stuff is getting out of hand... or in this case "in hand "
LOL! Sir Police man looks like he doesn't know what to do with his hand. ^
I wonder what came next? Did the person getting arrested file some kind of legal case for sexual harassment?
isn't this gif the end from the video where he wigs the fuck out in the lobby and has a public freakout?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do not do drugs unless you are in a safe environment. I'm more scared for the drugged out his mind male around a bunch of scared bystanders who know little about drugs than i am the females recording the incident talking to the police. I'm happy the police didn't freak out on him too bad. The womens narative on the phone almost escalated the situation. I wish there were paramedics present though, he seemed pretty gone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So for five years I worked in a prison as a corrections officer. I truly wish reader that I could tell you that this never happened to me. If your dream is to be a cop or work in my field in which you will need to pat people down be ready to grab a fist full of trouser snake.
I witnessed a buddy have the exact same thing happen to him. The cop was asking "What's this? Huh? Whatcha got?" and my friend said with a total straight face "Officer, if you keep doing that in about five seconds I'm going to owe you dinner." The cop froze, with his hand on my buddy's cock while he looked at his face and tried to figure out what he had just said. His partner started belly laughing and the cop jerked his hand away and says "what.. the... FUCK..." got mad as hell, just spun around and walked back and got in his squad. I said to the laughing cop "So I guess we're free to go?" (I knew him) and he waved us off, he couldn't catch his words. We got in the car and I was like "GOD DAMN, JOHN HOLMES" as we drove away.
The best part is that a few weeks later my buddy was sitting at a bar and the cop walked in, off-duty. He sits down, orders a beer, looks around. Sees my buddy, makes eye contact, sets his full beer down, leaves. I guess he hasn't been back to that bar since, and this was in 2003. Wisconsin is fucked.
Not really accidental a cop is suppose to frisk someone even if it is the groin region and butt area even the breasts.
If there is 2 male cops and a female suspect and they are forced to frisk her they are probably going to have to feel around her breasts. Some cops used the back of there hand but your palm/fingers are a lot more sensitive so i would used my hands. But if there is a female officer around/available i would ask a female officer do the frisking and same thing for a male suspect rather a male search them.
It lessens the "officer blah blah touched my breasts a lot IMA FUCKin SUE" that is their job to make sure the people they are bringing in/searching don't have any deadly weapons/contraband that can hurt the officer and or be illegal in their own right. Also a suspect just being uncomfortable but the officer safety is a lot more important that slight discomfort.
source-2 years trade school security and law enforcement
hypmoden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
I'm pretty sure that every dude out there knows what a hard cock feels like. Cause they have one of their own..
It does NOT take.... THAT long to realize its a hard cock....
A baton does not feel like a hard cock....
A knife does not feel like a hard cock.....
This cop got one hell of a nice, long, free feel....
of a hard cock
Halt-kun ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why isn't that sexual assault though? If you even lay a hair on a cop, they'll turn into a big baby and charge you with assaulting an officer. This guy should file charges.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I'm just saying, you even sneeze in the detection of a cop and they can and will charge you with assault and the judge is going to just take their word for it. This guy has video of the cop molesting his dick, he should give them a taste of their own medicine.
Tiga7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saved comment
Ghejt ยท 4675 points ยท Posted at 18:25:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He seems impressed and ashamed at the same time.
FlyingBasset ยท 2783 points ยท Posted at 20:15:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean to be fair that must be a good-sized penis and I wouldn't expect someone being arrested to be in that state...
Probably could have been used as a weapon if necessary
SIrPsychoNotSexy ยท 1838 points ยท Posted at 20:44:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No kidding, his dick was over in his hip. And I'm over here trimming pubes for the extra optical illusion.
[deleted] ยท 795 points ยท Posted at 22:09:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
aceoftrachs ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 23:07:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Optical Inch - my new band name.
NewBandName-CalledIt ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 23:37:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:13:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Matt, is that you? Lol
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah it is
cuntdestroyer8000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey man
basbeer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:02:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me more about this optical inch
MellowMoa ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:18:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your dick looks twice as big when you shave off the jungle down under.
mmmbop- ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:31:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe your dick looks twice as long, but mine just looks an inch longer...
ohyouresilly ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:39:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... twice as long :-/
Whit3W0lf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:35:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoting for visibility.
basbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:15 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying that when I trim the zone i'll become two-tone malone?
Blitzedkrieg ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:03:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hijacking this comment because this has happened to me with the cops before. Got pulled over for drinking/driving. Wasn't even drunk. Got told to get out of my car, got frisked, the cop grabbed my junk and pulled on it like he'd just found some contraband. He realized what it was and dropped it like it was hot.
I got off with a ticket that I then disputed in court and won because the frisky cop didn't show up. AMA
HuskyPants ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:06:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dropped it like it was 98.6
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:10:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
OyVeyzMeir ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
OyVeyzMeir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
specopsjuno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
coatedkhan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
ohyouresilly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About free tiddy
Pmmeyourfloppytits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About tree fiddy
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hippyeatingchippy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:13 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must of been a right handfull!!
dengseng ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on mobile but this would be a great time to do a dick ol' vision switcharoo
hippagun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:54 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shorter the grass taller the tree ..Lol
randomrecruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could Upvote this more
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:19:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The hairless half inch
Beatrixporter ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:12:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've twice had partners that we're too big. I've never had a partner that was too small. Don't stress it. I know women are made to stretch, but that doesn't mean we want to feel like we're giving birth backwards.
bimmatic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:48:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey don't feel bad. It's better than hitting the back with an inch to spare.
PhilxBefore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It honestly sucks when you can't just bury it.
joemangle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like my ex
MoreCowbellllll ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:56:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trim the hedges so the house looks bigger, eh?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you do that? (NSFW)
spykid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet this guy doesn't even trim his pubes cause it's too intimidating
redditonlyonce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hahahaha
DownXLaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The tree looks bigger outside of the forest.
Fadedxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I cried
SpeedyMcPapa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My condolences
radikalkarrot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My condomlences
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M'condomlesses
KingEnemyOne ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mc'Condom
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:42:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mc'lovin
Oswaldiandream ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:51:23 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're username matches your comment so well
vafratbro5350 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your boner can't extend over your hip?
Jew_in_the_loo ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 21:11:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL if you think penises abide by any kind of rules.
Bgro ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 23:02:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Penis law is not governed by reason.
andsoitgoes42 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:11:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My entire high school life can attest to this.
Ugh.
"andsoitgoes42, can you show us on the board how you came to that conclusion?"
"...."
newfiedave84 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:16:13 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks, I'll take the zero.
teambob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You gotta own it
TheJonesSays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Penis law?
curiouscorncob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:55 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
penis jaws
smokemarajuana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PLaw
tokyozombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
someone made a song about it
ManFromTheMun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it comes and it goes.
FletchinderZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Penal code
memeticmachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's called a murder boner. a penis must erect if you have murderous thoughts! it's law!
oozles ยท 610 points ยท Posted at 20:20:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet its not that uncommon. Drugs do fun things.
redditin_at_work ยท 559 points ยท Posted at 20:38:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My dick is quite the opposite on the drugs I take. =(
EDIT: RIP my inbox, I'm not sure what about my post made everyone think I wanted to know about their drugs or their dick. Y'all are fucking weird.
The_Punniest ยท 441 points ยท Posted at 20:44:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should try new drugs.
[deleted] ยท 457 points ยท Posted at 20:55:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
redditin_at_work ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 20:57:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now this concept I can support.
komidogoo ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 21:38:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now Tayne I can get into.
duvakiin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:38:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there anyway to generate a nude Tayne?
themattomicbomb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:53:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
NUDE TAYNE
SomeoneHasThis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:12:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/g6MCE.gif
SorcerersPledge ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:51:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Initiate flarhgunnstow
Squally160 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:09:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get a printout of oyster smiling?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:59:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, Paul.
Nehalennian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES THANK YOU
radarthreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nude Tayne
ktsb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username?
Shaunisinschool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let us all support this novel new concept. Nothing could go shmog.
Starterjoker ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
le drugs are cool xD
gookish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:06:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.livememe.com/t5rona9.jpg
K1ng_N0thing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily more drugs, but different drugs.
zatpath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The correct combination is the key
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone just tell me what drugs I should be taking!?
alreadypiecrust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viagra
zatpath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:37 on January 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe like an ecstasy/viagra cocktail of some sort, chased with a really expensive scotch? If your heart can take it.
wtfpwnkthx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More of those drugs makes even less working. And furious masturbation.
enjoytheshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always sound advice.
AdvocateForTulkas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I got hemorrhoids in pretty sure
skyjello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs are ALWAYS the answer
supersecret_DEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More drugs you say?
orders wiretap
BobNelson1939USA ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 21:28:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is so full of dope fiends. I'm surprised the cops don't monitor this site more closely to catch more dopers.
Weakling_DK ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:34:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm more amazed people still call us "dope fiends". Do they even know what dope really is?
roflharrisgun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heroin is dope, I really don't think there are many heroin fiends on Reddit lol. You can't say dope fiends and mean dope = weed, no one says weed fiend.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're underestimating how many people regularly use heroin
roflharrisgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I spend all my time on Reddit on /r/drugs and there aren't many heroin users there.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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Weakling_DK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:09 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, manchvegas lol. Girlfriend is from right up the road in Vermont.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they might not be discussing it there but recent studies have shown that over a half million individuals in the US alone reported using heroin in the last year. It's also largely a very young demographic like reddit's.
lukanmj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/opiates exists. It's a pretty fun sub with lots of cool stories and harm reduction. So yeah, there are quite a few dope fiends but they don't allow sourcing on their sub which I think is fair.
cdlravenwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I say weed all the time! Does that nean I'm a dope?
roflharrisgun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't call people weed fiends then no
Weakling_DK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No argument here, but I still hear the random person call pot dope from time to time and I have to stop and explain what opiates are vs. cannabinoids.
Shoot_Heroin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am dope fiend, can confirm.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised that you think they don't monitor is closely. Reddit houses some of the most popular forums to advertise and sell drugs. Problem is, all the smart fish take precautions to protect their identities. It's very difficult to do anything but watch
TheRealJasonsson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes watching can be fun!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:03:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That Molly dick :(
RickyMathis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the same. But it's drugs that should make it feel better. Like ecstasy.
Bomberhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down Huey Lewis.
BugMan717 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should talk with Herbie Lewis
BloomsdayDevice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's Herbie Hancock.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:10:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
taigahalla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2C-B/nexus
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NickelBackThatAzzUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If under 2 weeks is a long time for you, you do too many drugs. Take it from someone who does too many drugs, I'm just not in denial about it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:13:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:17:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mr_Barry_Shitpeas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:53:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...2 to 4 times a month? What's wrong with you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nardo318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or new dicks
SageTX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want a new drug
Xanthan81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... I was told the AntiViagra would... nevermind...
mysticsavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One's that won't make you sick.
Bokkoel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ones that won't make you crash your car
iguanodonapproval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ones that make me feel like I feel when I'm with you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds good
I_demand_breakfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One that wont make you sick...
neoballoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, pretty much all good drugs make it really hard to get hard
riptaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs are either vasoconstrictive or otherwise do not lend themselves to sexual arousal
cmcewen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:07:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or getting a new penis
[deleted] ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 20:44:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to inject it in your dick for a few days and masturbate vigorously so it swells up.
mau5trapper2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:49:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This right here, is a qualitydamnedidea
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:00:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that like a time release method for hardcore drug use? You just decide one day "I'd like to store the drugs in my penis blood so I'll get a boner, inject some silly stuff and then see how long I can maintain that erection and stave off the high."
Man imagine doing that and having sex. Moments after you blow your load and go into standby mode the silly stuff hits your system. From one high to another in seconds with no post-coitus needles needed.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:06:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Just a part of your pre-heist preparation routine.
See, the real trick here is to get your dick nice and swollen with infection and meth residue so nobody wants to touch it. The loot they took off him is just a distraction. He has the priceless diamonds that were waiting in the safe for a buyer hidden inside his narrow urethra. Maybe just in his pocket if he is cocky enough as nobody will investigate that pocket any further. There's probably a hole in his pocket just in case and sand in the other as a last resort diststraction tactic.
By the time they realize that they haven't recovered the most valuable of the stolen goods, this guy has escaped from the prison hospital by bribing the nurses with his precious jewels.
The lesson here is that you have to start out small and then just steadily grow your assets until you are confident enough to pull off a job like that.
partyjeep ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:00:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck dude
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. I would definitely drink my swollen drugged dick off with you.
CrimsonKing21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're wrong, but I don't know enough about drugs to dispute it
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 20:45:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
voodooacid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:03:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should try LSD. The size of your boner wont even matter at all. Your bodies fuse so you can literally share orgasms with your partner in way that, you wont even know if its you or her whose having the actual orgasm.
quasielvis ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:34:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
err... either that or you just spend 10 hours laughing, chain smoking and watching the walls breathe.
I've taken lsd plenty of times and a lot of the descriptions I read on here bear no resemblance to my experience.
ScrawnyTesticles69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, nowadays what's sold as LSD tends to vary a fair deal in terms of composition and potency.
butter_my_fingers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:31 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same way mushrooms can practically cure alcoholism for some people and change their lives while others just get the giggles and a fun Saturday . Everyone gets something different out of it
voodooacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:35 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
uhh... well a woman is required for the kind of experience i was talking about lol. and seriously? you don't go outside and watch freaking nature? my favorite is laying down and looking up to the trees while listening to pink floyd. everything starts to spin, very much like a kaleidoscope and i get amazing visuals with my eyes closed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
voodooacid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I wasn't talking about taking it alone. But i get your point. It can also vary a lot for each person, I dont have a problem peeing, but it definitely feels like it takes waay longer than usual. which isn't unusual on lsd
lolreallythou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Testosterone
ASK_ME_IF_IM_YEEZUS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should try meth.
I should also say that it's kind of hard to get off, but you'll really want to. And yes, I mean that in more ways than one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What, I...? Are you Yeezus?
hypertown ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:19:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I know the adderall is working. I call it "getting tiny dick"
redditin_at_work ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:25:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's called "drug dick" AFAIK
hypertown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I call it tiny dick.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried turning your dick off and on again?
Lolworth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:52:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck even managing a piss on MDMA
HushPuppies69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, MDMA did nothing to help my dick. Like I went on a tinder "hangout" with a girl who gave me some, and then we smoked a ton of weed and it just wasn't happening.
Lolworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:07:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gutted for you mate. All that warmth and loving and only a button mushroom to work with.
kingkumquat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mda hurt my feelings for the same reason
Derp43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you taking Myacoxafloppin?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with propylhexedrine your dick shrinks to the size of a pea but it doesn't stop you from fapping for 12 hours straight.
workraken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The horrible chafing probably does though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
totally worth it.
Cocaine_and_Hookers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear ya on that one!!
redditin_at_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Quite the conundrum, eh /u/Cocaine_and_Hookers
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy parties
Drum_Stick_Ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was like that at first doing meth. I had a girlfriend try forever to get that thing hard, poor precious thing. Well after a month or so it went completely opposite and it was wild, nasty sex all night. Something about being doped up made us as nasty as it can get. I kind of miss it but my wife does a damn good job as well.
x_DeRViisH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
rubberseatbelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, mine, too. Ironically, willy issues are one of the reasons I'm on the meds.
lukanmj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get the stim dick too. Not fun at all.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adderall dick is a bitch... My balls disappear and my dick goes full acorn on it.
justgirltalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a girl on Adderall reading this and I have no idea what's going on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adderall is an amphetamine, amphetamines constricts blood vessels and draw blood to your major organs. (This is why you may be pale or your hands, feet, finger, or toes might get really cold or start to feel numb.) For males, adderall and other stimulants can make their junk shrink while on the drug(s) because of the constricted blood vessels and lack of blood flow to their junk.
justgirltalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wow. That makes sense. Thanks for the explanation.
trase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine recoils into a vagina on anything strong than weed. I just assume that anyone that boasts about sex on drugs is lying.
Hashtag-Heel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pilly willy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'It's turned into a fucking nipple!' - Me on any stimulant.
jimmythegreek1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it goes to the right?
Faustias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
adderall? or anti-depressants?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only downside my friend...
haiku_for_yall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should ask your doctor about Viagra. Ask your doctor if Viagra is right for you. Viagra. Ask your doctor about Viagra.
The_Paradise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for truth.
broff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok I love cocaine too.
GlazedDonutGloryHole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adderal :( I beat a limp dick for three hours just to bust a nut. Worst thing ever.
zomfgcoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:06 on January 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol is not my dicks friend yet if I were to alledgedly inhale cannabis smoke queue like a rock song here
123_Syzygy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't know about street drugs, but hydrocodone makes Daddy's cock like a Saturn V rocket. Just sayin.
Edit: sick bastards, I love you all!
JeanCloudVanDamme ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:46:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's cool that you and your dad can do drugs together... and look at each others cocks.
manablight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry your dad taught you about science.
iloveredditsohard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Show us on the doll where he touched you, boy. Daddy can't hurt you anymore.
WEIGHED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's something called coke dick, if you don't know it, you don't want to.
USAuthority ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:46:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe you should be working instead of redditing....
redditin_at_work ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
prolly
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:44:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Besides boner pills, drugs mostly reduce the ease of getting a boner.
Chris_Hansen_AMA ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:21:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I can't think of a single recreational drug that does anything but limit the ease of getting and maintaining a raging boner
mki401 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cannabis
pelijr ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:42:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alcohol?
Chris_Hansen_AMA ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:44:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard of whiskey dick?
pelijr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In hindsight I read your post wrong...I thought you were basically saying All Drugs help the ease of getting it up haha.
pelijr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm talking about. Too drunk to get it up.
PM_ME_ONE_BTC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not cannabis 4 me it's for more a effective than boner pills without the bad side effects
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the drug. Cocaine definitely helps, although runs with the chance of fucking blood flow up, presumably other stimulants work well too.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:54:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and no. Stimulants in moderation can get you a bit randier, but stimulants in excess will leave you with a floppy no matter how horny your brain is. Ecstasy, cocaine are very similar that way.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most drugs do the opposite of that.
CommodoreHefeweizen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:53:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had to ride in the back of a police car once.* As I got out of the car, he told me to go home and wash everything because "every bodily fluid you can imagine has been on those seats."
*Yy friend's tire blew out in the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere at 3 a.m., and the local police had to drive us to fill the spare.
MultiAli2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, thank you for the life pro tip. If I ever ride in a police car, now I know what to do afterwards.
NickelBackThatAzzUp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost all drugs make it way harder to get a boner
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As do handcuffs.
__redruM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So he's the Viagra bandit?
RickTheHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like add 3 inches to your penis?
RexFox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That and any excitement can cause an erection, not just sexual excitement.
BlonktimusPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So do handcuffs sometimes ;)
rubberseatbelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some psychopaths (or sociopaths) get off on crimes. I've heard of arsonists having orgasms watching the fire they set.
IllIllIllIllII ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was clicking 'random' and found r/MDMA today. Related...
Ass_Boogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hand-cuffs do fun things ;)
blitzkraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
May be he has a thing for being cuffed.
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting bludgeoned to death by a horny wolverine on PCP only starts out fun because of the novelty of it, but that ravenous red rocket quickly wipes the smile off your face as everything gets dark blow after blow
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:18:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this guy doesn't party
Jenga_Police ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 21:05:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SIR, I WILL ONLY TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME! PUT! DOWN! THE WEAPON!
I...I CANT! PLEASE DON'T SHOOT
HE'S WAGGLING IT OUR WAY! GET HIM
BANG BANG BANG
jimbojonesFA ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:29:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You shot me in the dick!
PICK UP MY DICK, PLEASE!
yeahyeaheyeknow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sprinkle a little crack on his Johnson, Johnson.
izModar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Open and shut case.
deyesed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's not black though.
cmlambert89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol at "waggling"
atag012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:52:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why, just because his text is black you have to shoot him?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah he's white.
kiwiluke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that scene in robocop....
Stumblin_McBumblin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:39:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Despite the title asserting it, this guy might not have a boner. He could just be really well hung.
FlyingBasset ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:41:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well thanks. That makes the rest of us feel better...
PTgenius ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:03:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You pleb, cry on my 3 meter long schlong.
scloutkst2889 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A show-er not a grow-er
VordLader ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/BDP
illini211 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:47:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FEAR BONER
Lcbrito1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably a fetish
ASK_ME_IF_IM_YEEZUS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He could also be aroused by being handcuffed.
aceoftrachs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is a beast. I lose my erection if the phone rings.
thoriginal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. Fear/rage/aggression boners are real.
HolyTak ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:03:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plus just random boners.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Serbian Film
fraxinus2197 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think fear/panic-boners are a thing
TheSoundDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
Chibbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The perpetrator is a sub and this is fetish.
ErnieMcVenkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
roc_lobbster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fear boner
DwelveDeeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how he even was hard. Maybe handcuffs are his kink
yolo-yoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
who gets a boner during an arrest anyway??!
Tentaye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but he'd have to do some hard time.
Huh?Huh?
schmeckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If he is sometimes cuffed during sexy time it may have triggered the blood flow.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's a half boner. The most Impressive boner. Sometimes i lurk myself in the mirror with this big soft pรฉnis. It's very Impressive because i find mine pretty short at rest. But the half boner penis makes it a monstruosity. I feel like Rocco Sifredi. So much feels to think your Johnson big, that's the best thing in the world.
I was always ashamed at the pool when i was a teen/kid. If only they knew my trues powers.
Edit : you gave me envy to do a mirror's penis scession tonight.
PhilxBefore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say this, but you did.
magnumbi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about you but I always have a boner when I'm arrested.
chutupandtakemykarma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner.
determinedforce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a fear boner.
MLaw2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the exact state you should be in while being arrested.
It's called a fearection
J1z03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
AK_Happy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:19:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THANKS FOR BEING FAIR
FlyingBasset ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a fellow penis-owner I just want everyone to be informed.
Tbk4life ยท 1442 points ยท Posted at 20:57:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/eeQ81vl.gifv
AtomicKetchup ยท 725 points ยท Posted at 21:06:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES! This is somehow better because they both acknowledge it happened.
[deleted] ยท 272 points ยท Posted at 21:11:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, we don't have sound or subtitles for the first one - could have both said "Ahhh, dinner at six?"
TheVedantist ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 21:21:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source Video
slapmymangoes ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's a little tug between friends?
trixtopherduke ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:46:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tugs not drugs.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:37:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
slapmymangoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tugs before hugs.
just_dots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs then tugs.
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 22:03:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's your penis eeeerright
jwilcz94 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:02:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the first one. As in the one the OP posted
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he apologized twice lol
ACeilingFanHolder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was amazing. Thank you!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember either of them saying that.
Lord_of_the_Canals ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:33:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he said sorry again. Made it funny.
iUsedtoHadHerpes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not "the first one." I'm pretty sure they meant the main post that we're all commenting on.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's wat better than most interactions I've had with cops.
d_le ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is his pants sagging or does he have a really long torso?
Priapraxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the better youtube comments I've ever seen.
Scaarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Respect for apologizing XD
FragrantError ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 21:31:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
deleted What is this?
TheVedantist ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 21:32:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it because I said it was the source video?
NotReallyTim ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:42:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just let him think he's special
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:42:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whats the point of even wearing pants at that point. My pants are mostly to separate my dick from the rest of the world. What are that guys pants for?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...mostly...
HBlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
9 o' cock looking at the angle.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When the big hand is on the nine...
stanhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eZSKen1Vgc
Sasmas1545 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the little tap he gives after he lets go
universalmind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for some reason he kept grabbing it over and over again
germanefficiency ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he keep on checking and asking what that is if he already told him it's his boner ?
nobody1793 ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 22:34:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the little pat he gives it. Like
"Sorry little wiener. Didn't mean to startle ya."
TapirsAreNeat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:02:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want a whole subreddit devoted to these gifs.
rumple_fore_skin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bonner upper tuck. A classic.
TreeBushFirecracker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:08:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
was waiting for this to pop up!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it popped up alright...
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:24:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was always my go-to pickup line when I was a kid.
"Why don't you sit in my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up."
Needless to say, I drowned in pussy, and am now dead.
iwillkillyou18 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when you were a kid? like you were using that in 1st grade?
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Junior High
Trigger3x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha this was in South Padre. I've seen the cop before
ItsJustMeJerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How to conceal a weapon during a patdown.
SlashHappySamurai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely what I thought OP's post was alluding to. Must be common.
Mrarick13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came to comments looking for this. "That's my penis"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what happens when your pants are not covering your crouch. The police might mistake it for a weapon xD
AbMooga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:33:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What I don't get is how he went from feeling on his left pocket then jumps directly to where his penis would be, not like a gradual feeling around, he goes from side pocket directly to dick area.
ThinkInAbstract ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:44:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officers check the belt buckle and zipper region in a pat down.
rrealnigga ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:08:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a woman?
[deleted] ยท 274 points ยท Posted at 20:28:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol that hand stretch he does, like he's fighting off the urge to vomit and compose himself
Password_Fart_Noise ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 20:38:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"it's okay, just a part of the job....no really, I'm good."
thecruxoffate ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:53:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But on the inside he knows he will always remember that penis, and it haunts him
Euphorium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't help his partner's gonna be joking on him at any chance possible.
EngelbertDolfuss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is just a touch between men! Why does everyone have to make it a bad thing? Any man can touch another man's penis; it is a part of what makes us manly! It is our heritage, our birthright! It does not make you decadent or warm, but it makes you stronger if you acknowledge it!
MonaVanderwaal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:10:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You beat me to it haha. Like he's trying to remove what he just did from his hand? Too funny.
USAuthority ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"there's at least three layers between my hand and his cock"
KevlarGorilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two, when you don't count the foreskin.
SrpskaZemlja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glove, pants, underwear.
KevlarGorilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd call it 35% shudder, 65% FABULOUS!
dysangel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:08:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking he was probably more worried about getting sued. Looks like the US, after all
Euphorium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, he's a cop.
dysangel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That must be why they call it "copping a feel"
alrevsharptonbitchas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:03:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a good member of society. Compliance is often rewarded by a reach around.
Xanthan81 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:56:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Welp... I'm gay again..."
Ghejt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't blame him
SnarkLobster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Posession of a friendly weapon.
weelchairhurdler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he flexes his hand at the end of the gif like he is resetting it
cheesus620 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a corrections officer, I know this man's pain.
TranslatorGator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He just lets out big sigh and tells himself "fml"
MrRightHanded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Id add Jealous to that.
clayism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you watch his hand he does a flinch and stretch, as if to say "ewwee."
ModestTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you, my friend, deserve a boost. boosts
enderfinch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really working that penal code
OldBendyBones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my penis.
fockface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No matter what kind of person that cop is, I feel truly sorry for him in this scenario. It's going to be a while before he washes this shame off.
balancing-act ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's big load of emotions he's going through at that moment.
MoistBeefCurtains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a boner-fied criminal right there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is that a weapon or are you just happy to see me
Dennyboy101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you could see it in his face during pixel 4 and 17
vento33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn! Damn.
indoobitably ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh.. shit
The_Celtic_Chemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both the cop and the man being arrested.
Ayresx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic reacharound
Benderfromfuturama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/HappyEmbarrassedCops
Thorbjorn_DWR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S A MURDER BONER
Transfinite_Entropy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:01:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is a LOT bigger than me. Fuck.
LL_UrbanAchiever ยท 2082 points ยท Posted at 18:29:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no escaping the long arm of the law.
Booblicle ยท 357 points ยท Posted at 18:42:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long stroke of his hand.
AverageGuy16 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 20:31:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about a stroke of justice.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:04:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best kind of justice.
kalitarios ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the slow hand that strokes deepest.
LargeMobOfMurderers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His soft breath on the back of your neck.
everadvancing ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 20:35:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law.
tdt0005 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We assume you all have guns and crack!
sintaroactual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long-dick style, Tyrone.
bathroomstalin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:45:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To protect and service.
monkey616 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:53:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you're familiar with the PENAL code.
mintsponge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:03 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I must warn you, I have a CONCEALED WEAPON
Springheeljac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long dong of the law.
eternityablaze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long schlong of the law.
devosion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long reach around of the law.
MAG7C ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or long dong law in some parts of the world.
HuskyWolfy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/6ADLV4r.gifv
walterblanco1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no escaping the long
armcock of thelawcriminalsFTFY
LL_UrbanAchiever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Top notch
ghost_mv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zTo8ooEY2uA
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
thereisonlyoneme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
aaronisu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dong arm or its paw?
qning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dong arm of the law.
brownchickenbr0wnc0w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he really copped a feel.
AR101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EheSOZHjHb8
dejacle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His duty is to protect and services
Emerald_Triangle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it a baby arm?
jtyner1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:03 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope he's familiar with the state's PENAL code
Fig1024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
if I'm gonna get fucked by the law I at least want to get a reach around
[deleted] ยท 1686 points ยท Posted at 19:37:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS
[1][1]
Democracy Manifest
Jack Karlson puts up a fight as he is getting hauled in to a police car.
MrJoeBlow ยท 1259 points ยท Posted at 20:18:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A SUCCULENT, CHINESE MEAL"
Don't even have to watch the video, one of the most quotable speeches ever.
[deleted] ยท 845 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gentleman, this
Is
Democrrracy
Manifest.
[deleted] ยท 527 points ยท Posted at 20:48:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You, sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
eleventy4 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 21:31:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This is the bloke who's got me on the PENIS peoPLE!
LilyPadLove88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What in baby jesus's name did he mean by that?
Skippyilove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:27:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my guess is that he was trying to embarrass the guys arresting him, and that nobody actually touched his penis
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:21:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how dare you
SIlentguardian11 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:05:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tete and Farewell
TomasTTEngin ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:36:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AS an Australian I would transcribe that as ta-ta. but whatevs. Incredible video.
GunnerMaelstrom ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:46:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a Mexican so would I.
lilhughster ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:23:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an American, yes.
ElBiscuit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:00:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's confirmed, /u/TomasTTEngin is fuckin' Norwegian or something.
ArchNemesisNoir ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my new expression for not wanting to deal with a client.
CaDoran ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:39:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could speak like this man
dragonbab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am impressed you quoted him perfectly (I mean the "Democrrrrrracy" part). Have an upvote.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 361 points ยท Posted at 20:32:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AH YES, YOU KNOW YOUR JUDO WELL
ACrazyChemist ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 21:28:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I see you know your judo well"
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 22:08:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I see that you know your judo well"
pimp-bangin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:10:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
PossiblyAsian ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:12:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This man was arrested for his fab vocab
Technical_Machine_22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
actually dine and dashing.
PlNKERTON ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:17:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a real video? ROFL if it is.
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:51:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah. It's Paul Dozsa.
http://www.klbjfm.com/blogs/cjs-blog/get-your-hand-my-penis-real-story-behind-elegant-arrest
dustbin3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:21:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Eventually they caught him.... and touched his penis."
Our work is done here, boys, let's pack it in.
7456396541 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: I don't care what he's guilty of, this man is my hero.
watches video
Dine and dash? Hang him high, fellas.
Fuck those people
mtaw ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually that's been debunked. Dosza supposedly had a thick Hungarian accent, which this guy decidedly doesn't.
Alabaster-Ruins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:46:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I need him narrating nature documentaries. An Australian, limp-penised Morgan Freeman
Euphorium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's dead, Jim.
robinthebum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made a terrible remix of this video...
https://soundcloud.com/pissshitta/get-your-hands-off-my-chinese-meal
Shrinky-Dinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:53 on January 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of this Song from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles with Steve Martin:
Starts at 2:15
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9etzJVhEsM
(Best quality I could find)
luxii4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These restaurants should feed him for the free advertisement. I would like to know where I can attain a succulent, Chinese meal.
david622 ยท 330 points ยท Posted at 20:23:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Bane
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 20:59:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
mathplusU ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:09:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THE INTERNET IS A SILLY PLACE
pbmainiac3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:32:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On second thought, let's not go there.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:26:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the get your hand off my penis spin punch is perfect
I-Cut-Myself ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:06:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't laughed that hard in too long, made me feel sad
broheimlich ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:54:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude you are my hero, this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Autoshadowbanned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:19:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good grief
kmbdbob ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:17:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never saw that badman movie. Really bad fighting scene. Looks like the old serie with the fancy sounds and "WHAMM""CRASH" stuff.
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 20:32:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way he says "democrrrracy" is fantastic.
sirgallium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way he says everything sounds fantastic. I wish my voice was close to his it sounds pretty lame on my youtube channel but I'm thinking the more I talk the better I'll get at it.
resplendent_scofflaw ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 19:51:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I lost it when he said, "Are you waiting to receive my limp penis?"
username_omitted ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 20:24:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Helluva pick up line.
ranciddan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:47:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And YOU SAA, ARE YOU WAITINGG TO RECIEVE MY LIMP PENUS? HOW DARE YOUA..
DoctorBlueBox1 ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 20:21:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was just amazing
Is there a story behind it?
Pegguins ยท 331 points ยท Posted at 20:52:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe he's a chess grandmaster (or former) who made a habit of going around not paying for meals, then getting arrested for it.
PlNKERTON ยท 216 points ยท Posted at 21:17:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he's a very proper-speaking scumbag then. Hilarious.
ZeusAllMighty11 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:38:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice headlock, sir!
DontSayNoToPills ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:09:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see you know your judo well.
[deleted] ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 21:15:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
l0calher0 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He seemed way too important to be arrested for not paying for a meal. His manner of speaking makes him sound like he is some sort of powerful tycoon or political figure. Plus the fact that it took that many cops made it seem like a siege.
I'm just going to go with "he was the democratically elected leader of Australia but was arrested by the corrupt opposition for treason to the crown. The Australian crown."
psylent ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:37:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was our actually our prime minister in 1982 for a week. He was kicked out of the job for constant eat and run offences.
Flying__Penguin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:45:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what he wants you to think.
notashaolinmonk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as cheese grandmaster and somehow it made more sense.
lilhughster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha it does. This is the only explanation. They misspelled cheese.
RaiyenZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:09 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the charge actually was for eating a succulent chinese meal.
obvnotlupus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:23:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's not a grandmaster. He was Paul Dozsa, unfortunately now dead
temo89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes that's Paul Dozsa. And yes he was a grandmaster
obvnotlupus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Dozsa was not a grandmaster. Where are you getting this information?
strangebanana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, according to this, that man in the video clip is not Paul Dozsa (check the comments).
obvnotlupus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that could be true. But in any case that page shows that Dozsa was far from being a grandmaster.
CLiquidPoppa ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 20:33:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah he didn't pay for the meal and refused to comply with yade yade yade. Story can be found in video comments and other places
boyyouguysaredumb ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 21:03:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its yada yada yada
Crxinfinite ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:29:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yare yare yare
Bothan_Spy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:14:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ora ora ora
MajorProcrastinator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am Lorde
SolarEXtract ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:41:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's it's.
raiden_the_conquerer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:48:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeezy yeezy yeezy
Toisty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you?!
Wordshark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's yatta yatta yatta
Shrinky-Dinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on January 19, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that was not the yatta yatta yatta clip from Seinfeld.
Reliquent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:07:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe hes canadian
Retsejme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
It's kinda like the star wars cantina in there... I looked. I'm not exactly sure what I was looking for or what I was looking at. "A story" is not how I would describe any of it.
I bet. If only we knew which places. Or his name. Or something like that.
Edit: not as lazy as I look
Lawlietlight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:43:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/396ij0/the_hilarious_arrest_of_hungarian_nobleman_paul/
DoctorBlueBox1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
bathroomstalin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was cannibalizing a chinaman in Melbourne. That's illegal in Australia now.
ThereIsBearCum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it wasn't illegal at the time this was filmed. He had every right to be upset.
l0calher0 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was the people's leader of the old Commonwealth of Australia (or OCA for short). Once the opposition took over, they created the new territory and set off to arrest all the old political figures in a famous imprisonment known as the Sydney Siege. He was later executed for not refusing to recognize the new government, and was hanged by his penis. Either that or he stole the food.
Norsk_Ulv ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 19:45:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There it is, I knew ร would find it here !
TheFlashFrame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, what kind of keyboard do you use?
Norsk_Ulv ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:50:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ร dont know how that shit happens, I just type.
TheFlashFrame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you have some macros to turn certain key combos to certain letters?
Reality_Facade ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 20:28:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?
You sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:20:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of accent is that for an Australian?
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 20:51:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kawaiihellothere ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:40:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy, ok I understand now.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:03:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
thenewiBall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do Australian news anchors sound like?
Xasrai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Posh aussies. Link to 24 hour news
iamkurru ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Not available to US users :'(
Is this close?
Xasrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
ThereIsBearCum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KEZZA! Fuckin' legend.
Consideredresponse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a slightly overblown version of whats known as a 'received' Australian accent. We tend not to have that many compared to other countries.
TomasTTEngin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
posh
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:11:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so funny, and it's just this guy being himself. You couldn't even script something this funny.
drineth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:19:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's ma penus
Sorry for the potato quality
awesomedan24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:10:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are you waiting to receive my limp penis?
kevinkevin216 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's a nice headlock sir"
phome83 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:00:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much classier than screaming "AM I BEING DETAINED!?!!?"
bathroomstalin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Move over, Teddy Roosevelt and Guy Fieri.
I have a new hero today.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He reminds me of Winston Churchill for some reason
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:03:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite quote:
ThereIsBearCum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a well-delivered "GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY POLAND" would have stopped WWII before it even began.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like your username. I just watched that video for the first time yesterday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYa3V7GIizI
The_Nautilator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my penis
sophistibaited ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"White people"
victor_gaiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2 bucks is baaaack, ladies and gentlemen
Bagel_Dick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my penis
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man if only I could speak that eloquently and with that voice.
Exanime4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius... Who is this guy??? Hahahaha
maggymooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh yes..
hopscotchking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes, I see you know your judo well.
TheB1GLebowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its like something from Monte Python.
brownix001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clarkson is that you?
needstherapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this is comedy gold, and I should feel bad for thinking this, but I don't.
blackAngel88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm under what?
Emerald_Triangle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a fuck what you say - I like these sovereign citizens
SkidMark_wahlberg ยท 5347 points ยท Posted at 18:15:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First feel: "maybe a glock?" Sixth feel: "definitely cock."
connormantoast ยท 3496 points ยท Posted at 18:31:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"GET DOWN! HE'S GOT A COCK!"
FeIodineCalciumLly ยท 1868 points ยท Posted at 18:33:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
pew pew pee pee
DontGiveaFuckistan ยท 699 points ยท Posted at 18:52:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Penis envy isn't a victimless crime
[deleted] ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 18:58:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only you can prevent penis envy.
Pee_Earl_Grey_Hot ยท 482 points ยท Posted at 19:03:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
http://i.imgur.com/BPW9UiR.gif
Edit: NSFW from here on down
ThomasLyle ยท 808 points ยท Posted at 19:15:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/2sqa6CX.gifv
Alarid ยท 315 points ยท Posted at 21:01:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/0vNWnFf.gif
[deleted] ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 21:18:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
confusedboner.jpg
Bear_Taco ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:21:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not confusing at all /r/baileyjay
I_FUCK_DEAD_GIRAFFES ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god her dick is bigger than mine
What the fuck is that thing
Alarid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A dick
funnythebunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I don't get it; Is this a magic show?
Potato_palya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/confusedboners
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's confusing about it?
ButtLusting ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:21:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ikr? (เฒ อสเฒ )
shoebenberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a girl
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Smokes, Batman! It's a penis.
needstherapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She's got an confused boner too
1Daniel66 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 21:36:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/M3Oiy8p
Senbonbanana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/kpFbhfm.gif
Mannyray ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 21:17:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait....that's not right
conspiracyeinstein ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 21:25:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah dammit. I just got tricked into being gay, didn't I?
nukeyocouch ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 21:59:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its not gay if it's a feminine dick
No_ThisIs_Patrick ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The council is yet undecided.
xScott18x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We both got tricked damnit.
KingSix_o_Things ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/pegging FTW?
I'm confused.
Not_An_Ambulance ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:45:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would there be a whole subreddit about that game? That's silly.
Xanthan81 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's adicktive.
Euphorium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ain't pegging if it's a big, fleshy cock.
mechabeast ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:00:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking too much about things.
Would you watch straight porn?
Would you watch lesbian porn?
If yes to both then why would trans porn bother you?
Xandralis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
people are too insecure about their sexualities. Even if gay porn turns you on, so what? Are you really that scared of being gay?
Explore it. The worst thing you could do is repress it.
A_kind_guy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:58:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I think she's hot, but I'm not a fan of dicks. I'll just find hot girls without dicks haha
Xandralis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:12:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's fine too, of course. I just think it sucks that people who would otherwise be into dicks miss out because being gay is so looked down on
A_kind_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. Never really been an issue for me. There's guys I find attractive but I'm fairly sure it's just appreciation of their looks and a hint of envy, it's never sexual, although I thought it might be for about a week. I feel like people who are into that sort of stuff are more likely to accept it now than any time in the last couple hundred years, so that's nice.
deeteeohbee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:38:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a joke. Maybe it's you who is thinking too much about things. ;)
Pseudoboss11 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not necessarily trans porn.
You can be perfectly certain that you're a dude, but happen to like to dress up as a girl. :)
buster2Xk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure I've seen a clip of Bailey Jay flashing people at an event and then telling security "It's okay, I'm a boy." So yeah, a chick with a dick or a boy with boobs... whichever one makes you feel better about being attracted to them :P
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your choice.
Cha-Le-Gai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/bIAIL8k.png
QueequegTheater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks Obama
realjefftaylor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Says you
STABS_WITH_GLUE ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:22:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Bailey Jay is so hot
Edit: For anyone who doesn't follow her on twitter, follow her on twitter.
PrinceHans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:47:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really Bailey Jay?
Ghotimonger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:57:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:11:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Bailey. You are a dream.
guineabull ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:00:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/SJAQHk8.png
QueequegTheater ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:03:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No thread is safe.
ScenesfromaCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it. I thought maybe it wouldn't happen here. Instead it's that dumb fucking picture.
astro-nautae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:01:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
all shall perish, fields shall lie barren in it's wake.
MrBokbagok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
inappropriate
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:28:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm.... good taste ;)
Rustash ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:12:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't care. Still would.
xkcd_puppy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:47:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gonna uhh... need a source for this... for some internetting stuff.
I_am_Bearstronaut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:57:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
don't lie you're gonna jerk it
____DeadStool____ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:57:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/traps
XenithTheCompetent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wut.
SCREAMS_AT_PEOPLE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS!?
ScenesfromaCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, your name isn't inaccurate.
CaliBuddz ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 19:49:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was glorious. Too funny
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No as a Brit I am shocked that the gif wasn't NSFW.
Mmchips96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this music video
coquihalla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I wish I knew what the song is about. The video is hilarious!
Mmchips96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:15:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In short, it's about this man spinning and swinging his penis around. He accidently killed a lady's dog while trying to flirt with her. She doesn't like it and he is sent to court. The charges are dropped, because the judge also likes to spin and swing his penis around.
notenoughspaceforthe ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:39:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A rising endorsement for Northwest University
cenal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It apparently started as a bible university.
flykessel ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I...don't know how I should feel about that...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you do.
Rankkikotka ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:47:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to leave this here and look the other way for while. Maybe it's for you, maybe it's not... /r/pegging (NSFW).
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:02:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My balls just tingled and sagged at the sight of that sub. I feel like that was the equivalent of a sigh.
StatmanIbrahimovic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
envious
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dysangel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:10:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, she looks pretty damn proud. She also looks quite a lot like my aunt..
tinkerpunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:33:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's you again! Your user name still makes me giggle way too much.
Pee_Earl_Grey_Hot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks... /u/desertedclam made me this yesterday and I'm still giggling about it. I love all the yellow.
https://i.imgur.com/RbvjZFI.jpg
thisisnotacruise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That girl is hot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Freud would be proud.
alexbhood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm ashamed of how hard I laughed at that.
jonnyboyoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pride of Northwest University.
billsmashole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's so hilarious. I can't tell where it's looping bit I don't care. I watched it for a good minute and a half.
kangarooninjadonuts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/whitepeoplegifs
SarahC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely arousing...
diego97yey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
u should say nsfw first lol
Rankkikotka ยท 230 points ยท Posted at 19:47:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes a man can feel like how long his penis is is actually important but is it? When you boys measured your penis length the truth is it doesn't really matter. What does matter is: length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.
xXGriMe ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:05:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx3wDTzqDTs
Fishfindr ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:34:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious.
GameResidue ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the rest of the show is pretty funny too. less dick jokes (except in reference to that joke) but still really great stuff.
thotXspearMint ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn how am i supposed to get anything done today now that I have to watch that whole show again.
ricosuave0922 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... that is dick joke gold right there
xXGriMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best part is that its totally mathematically sound. They had a mathematician come on consult for the joke.
IntaglioSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's Silicon Valley, isn't it?
xXGriMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep.
Leradine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I found a new show to watch!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's an actual peer reviewed paper over this that was written by a professor the show hired to make sure the math in the seen was correct.
I'm on mobile so I can't find the full paper, but here's part of it (mobile) Optimal-Tip-to-Tip
grafxbill ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:05:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Follow along with me on your study sheet.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:30:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
P_I= ((lรd)+w/g)/ใa_tใ2
Override9636 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:33:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that weight of the penis or weight of the guy? I need to know by Friday.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
w_c = clean weight of the penis, weight without any foreskin or pubic hair.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Industry Standard is to do a a liner regression of skin density and based on the surface area apply a correction factor to calculate get an estimated weight.
Override9636 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real question is is this erect or flaccid? If we define (P_I)_0 as flaccid and (P_I)_1 as erect, then we could come to a relation of [(P_I)_1]/[(P_I)_0] to better statistically categorize people who define as "growers" or "showers".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is really good point, we call this the "GS Number"
gamobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would more of a "ratio" than a "Number". GS ratio.
93calcetines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most likely weight of the penis. Is we were to take into account the weight of the man, we'd need to take into account his height and body fat percentage as well.
alargeamountofcheese ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The angle of dangle is proportional to the lust of the thrust, provided that the urge remains constant.
LstCrzyOne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot about the yaw
Therealblueyzarsof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the YAW
SilentFoot32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Simply use this equation:
(L(d)+ฮณ/g)/tโ 2
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dont forget the YAW
Corky_Butcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh the T.M.I method.
kalitarios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's really important when matching guys up isn't dick length, but 'dick to floor', or d2f.
LeviAEthan512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That equation implies that girth is bad, since more girth means dividing by more. Also you have a 3 level fraction
ratshack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: "It's not the angle of the dangle, it's the motion in the ocean"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He did the math
ShawnBootygod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yaw
dysangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is the angle in radians or degrees?
skooba_steev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TMI
Assh0le_Comments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the yaw
PhonedZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Carolla method: With a piece string start at the center of the anus, one around the balls, to just past the tip of the head.
Br4586 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cockulas
Xanthan81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/YDDOHPssLrQ
cowbellhero81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to multiply it by the yaw
Shaunisinschool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You start from the belly button, inside. That's common law, it is.
sonicmasonic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:33:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
just the tip?
flykessel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't Penis Envy when a chick wishes they had a dick?
MacksWords ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dafuq? Can we? How? Smokey's getting weirder and less descriptive of late.
queen_in_my_pictures ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:06:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
his face upon realizing
DilbusMcD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's why cops shoot black guys?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DontGiveaFuckistan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk... Sounds like a great way to test out your 3d printer
Xanthan81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't download a penis?
TouchDownBurrito ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 19:50:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a bus held hostage by a dude jerking off.
WeaponXGaming ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:18:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Chappelle is the greatest comedian ever. Never gets old.
Toby_Kief ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
KaZaa download?
bob_sagget ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:07:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thank god, he's just firing blanks.
kage_25 ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 19:27:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pew
tmtProdigy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:53:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/eyebleach
valzargaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:32 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whack-a-cat?
Heffernan7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:01:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh.
the_beanery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Skeet skeet skeet
p1um5mu991er ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pew die pee
chanigan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mothers Against Large Cocks
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
penis and vagina
women with dicks and weak men with vaginas
Big_Scoooop ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:35:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And again we've demonstrated that low brow humor will never die. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Knight-in-Gale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Son of a bitch! I'm hit.
Call back up.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:37:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spermicide is on the way sir. Stay strong.
theLoveGiant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Skeet skeet skeet. FTFY....
elo228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a piss pistol
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
FeIodineCalciumLly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes.
straydog1980 ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's loaded!
RChamy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literal live ammo!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:29:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have the right to remain placid. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the pants area.
ejeebs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:18:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Pornada1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially if a shark eats you!
Vospriyatiye ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 18:58:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"STOP RESISTING!"
WolfofWallStr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha makes me think of GTA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha!
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"STOP ERECTING!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He says as he beats the hell out of a ghost
vento33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needs to be higher.
mpls_hotdish ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:42:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Chappelle was there
JnnyRuthless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly, this is essentially a description of your standard MUNI trip. I have seen more odd and bizarre things on SF busses than anywhere else.
Wa_was_that ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come on dog, your hitting my elbow
Evilmaze ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:52:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ON YOUR KNEES!"
jalalapeno ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:14:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HIS COCK IS COCKED, HE'S GOT A COCKED COCK
KITTENKRUSHA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sure hope the police unload that thing before they take it into custody
jalalapeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you always have to unload a cocked cock, those were my mother's last words
Mackin-N-Cheese ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:56:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket, etc.
Karuteiru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"YOU IDIOTS, WE'VE ALL GOT COCKS!"
cindyrellale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i cant stop laughing
SuckItPeasants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd like that, wouldn't you, Gay Hockey Guy?
connormantoast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:54:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. He's not playing hockey.
Heffernan7 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:02:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BuffSlamchest ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:14:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't even make any sense.
EditorialComplex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:31:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's the reddit circlejerk. What ya gonna do.
ReaderWalrus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:35:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, every feminist ever is like that
95Mb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's what sarcasm sounds like.
Butt-ginity_thief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accurate observation my friend.
CHARGER007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
splouch splouch splouch splouch
FarSightXR-20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
STOP RESISTING!
Fiddydollaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"PUT DOWN THE COCK AND SLOWLY GET DOWN ON THE GROUND"
geofflechef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's cocked and ready to fire!
ReasonablyBadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"HE'S GOT A CUMBOX TO!"
alargeamountofcheese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's a hardened criminal!"
OpenMindedMajor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"AM I BEING SEDUCED!?"
paul_gnourt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alledgedly
idma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BAM BAM BAM BAM!!! Perp Down!
ihazurinternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool Cock, Ahmed.
PipBoy808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a 9 millimetre!
pelijr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I GOTTA COCK IN MY 'RARI"
JonnyBhoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's cumming right at us!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then pulls down pants.
_ThunderDome_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/-UEMI9zU3AU
Firefoxray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Tumblr Police
ScifiSaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Look out he's got a nug!"
HalfDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and what a cock!
roomckinney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"HE CAN'T CUM ON ALL OF US!" Edit: SFW
krankie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ay, I got a cock in my rarri
spicyweiner1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:12 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HE GOT A COCK IN HIS 'RARI
tharland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to give it to the officer, he's hard-on crime.
dieselxindustry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:47:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit hes got a clock?!?
Roko-with-a-wrench ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:59:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feminists patrol reporting for duty
[deleted] ยท 1025 points ยท Posted at 19:38:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suspect is a white male, 6'1", uncircumcised.
xccr ยท 813 points ยท Posted at 20:17:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suspect is 6 ft...7 inches.
uscjimmy ยท 204 points ยท Posted at 20:54:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
looks thick. solid. tight. great size.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 22:35:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CJ090 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...?
Vapo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:54 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's an old although hilarious meme from bodybuilding forums
SonOfALich ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:36:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get.
MuhammadRapedKids ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:41:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no way that most of the people who upvoted you get this reference.
It's just funny as it is.
But for real, keep us posted, wanna see how huge, solid, thick, and tight you can get.
Lol, haven't been on that forum since I was a kid.
LitrallyTitler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:55:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah we aware brah
DodneyRangerfield ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a 10 !
RChamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fitness
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:54:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:57:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suspect is 6 ft...13.5 inches.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My boner gets to about the same location when I put it to the side. I'm an 8-incher
poo-poo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm packing at least 5 and can get there.
tommy_two_beers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those are two measurements
WhirlingDervishes ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 20:29:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reeeeaaal piece of work.
HawthorneMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is that from?
pakman17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reeeeaaal piece of work.
HawthorneMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right! God what a funny scene.
jbeast33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Real piece of work.
PoppaWilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a real piece all right
RUST_LIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The suspect was a real handful
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 20:27:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Altair_ShepardN7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:43:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would a white male be circumcised?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:20:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fail to see the relation between race and circumcision. The relation has to do with culture and religion. Jews and Muslims do it, and it is also popular in America for various reasons, such as certain misconceptions as well as Jewish influences on the medical industry. Over the years the trend has begun to decline and continues to do so. In European countries it is the other way around, circumcision is not the norm. In many eastern european countries where there are predominantly whites, it is in fact extremely uncommon.
zexez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brace yourself for the downvotes my friend...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very suspicious. Check it out, Johnson.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dumb question of the day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christians are not circumcised. The only christians that are circumcised are Americans, and that's because they are American.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That link proves my point...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:54:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half those countries are muslim countries with a christian minority so its no surprise that its a cultural norm there. The African countries performed circumcision before christian missionaries even got there. Even the Africans who are not christian today have performed circumcision for hundreds of year due to their pagan beliefs. As for the Philippines and South Korea, both were occupied by the Americans during WW2 and adopted it from them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:48 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:08 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was talking about predominately muslim I was referring to Egypt, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Palestine, and North Africa. Not sure why your said Israel.
In total but not relatively speaking.
This is just not true. If its not because they are American, then its definitely not because they're christian because most christians globally are not circumcised.
You have no proof of this. I read what I said about the Philippines and South Korea on /r/AskHistorians. But you can also read it here.
I understand you grew up in America so its probably normal for you to think everyone is circumcised but that is far from true. Here is a map of global circumcision rates by country. Keep in mind this is a bad graph because of the 20-80 percent group which is overly massive. Canada and Australia fall in it despite being very low in that category while the US is ~70. Besides America, Africa and muslim countries. The majority of the world is not circumcised. It is far from a global norm.
If you look at this chart you can see the christian populations below in each country. This chart shows with the exception of America and the bottom half of Africa that the 2 graphs are inverse. Therefore MOST of the 2.4 BILLION christians are NOT circumcised.
If you need more proof read the first paragraph on wikipedia here. If you don't want to read it, it says 70% of circumcised people globally are muslim.
HououinKyouma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:51 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone is americano
jack2454 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
jew
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zexez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Well you're probably American, not to generalize, because your school system is shit and your grammar and ignorance proves this. You're circumcised because you are American and no other reason. It's just a coincidence that your christian.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to private school too, bud. Except I'm not lying.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:14:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
zexez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you actually went to Switzerland there is no way you make your first comment. No one over there is circumcised unless they are a minority religion like jewish or muslim. And they make a a VERY small number of people.
jack2454 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How do you know what there dicks look like?
Easysplit ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 20:28:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have 10min to get your hand off my cock "
JnnyRuthless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:59:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the ensuing 10 mins can you sort of take it off, then put it back on, but in like a stroking motion? Just do that for about 5-10 mins and then you can finish arresting me.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have 10min to get my cock off your hand"
Womcataclysm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Morty! 5 more minutes of that and im gonna get mad!"
PrettyFly4aJedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Not mah fault this is happenin'."
PullAMortyGetAForty ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always upvote Rick and Morty
TeddyGom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
InstantRamen25 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:42:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10 more if you're any good.
Xasrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:31:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
InstantRamen25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accurate.
Glorypants ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 19:29:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was definitely trying to work it out of the pocket or something, and then he realized it wasn't coming out because it was attached.
JnnyRuthless ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 20:56:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if he kept working it, something would come out.
HerpaDerpaShmerpadin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assault is being assaulted by an object, right?
tisjustbrandon ยท 192 points ยท Posted at 19:14:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What's this here? A baton? A gun? A switch bla...Nope that's his dick...his...hard...dick."
-dead_slender- ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:24:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You wanna check inside just to be sure, officer?"
Matti_Matti_Matti ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe do a taste test?
viperex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause and effect. His checking caused it to get hard
MR_EELS ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 18:35:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We said ARREST him! Not AROUSE him!"
sirjunkinthetrunk ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 20:06:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We said ARREST him! Not MOLEST him!"
brannana ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 20:21:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Copy that. Proceeding to Arouse and Molest him"
DankMemos ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:33:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get the memo? All suspects are to be aroused and molested until proven filthy.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I picked a bad day to quit molesting people.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, now you molest squirrels?
Helios-Apollo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The police are there to perv and protect
twitchosx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, can we arouse or molest him?
NO! ME JUST TOLD YOU DAT!
wicked-dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Please advise location, we're here at Arouse and Molest him, but we didn't see anything."
RigidChop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stop resisting!"
wretched_excess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We said INCARCERATE him! Not MASTURBATE him!"
Frank_Stallion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Instructions unclear; dick stuck in suspect."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a common mishear when it comes to drunk teenage girls.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said SERVE and PROTECT him, not SERVICE ERECTIONS!
theslimbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
White Cocks Matter!!!
Jmunnny ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 20:11:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll ask since nobody else will, Why the fuck does a guy getting arrested have a raging boner?
trustworthyboyscout ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 20:23:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop fetish, adrenaline, just murdered someone, etc.
BoundForMexico ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 20:41:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Murder boner!
BFlocka ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:29:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down Rafi
owtrayjis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Murderection!
Dr_Dang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Second only to the death boner.
potato_ships ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always get wood when I'm killing people.
Mystery_Me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic murder boner.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
trustworthyboyscout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a joke, I don't know what the context is.
[deleted] ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 20:24:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he might be on drugs.
Spork-in-Your-Rye ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 20:28:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he gets aroused when in handcuffs. Not everybody's a druggie!
Stankie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:54:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, some of us are perfectly normal. Now dip your foot in this jar of honey while you do the truffle shuffle, I'm going to watch and beat off while I hang upside down with my head dunked in a fish tank containing two Betta fighting fish. All the while, three midgets in costumes reenact that scene from the Lion King when Simba loses his dad.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the fuck....
Stankie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that, like, everyone's go to?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stay out of my porn stash.
Tzipity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bizarrely specific. I feel bad for you if it takes that much effort (and bettas and midgets and all) for you to get off. Good luck with your fetish, sir. There's gotta be someone out there even for you. ;)
Stankie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's usually that or missionary.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tell me about it, stud!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people who get arrested shirtless and shoe-less are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
rofl
Doomsday-Bazaar ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These days, not being a druggie is pretty few and far between.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:46:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please specify which drugs. Cuz all the ones I've ever taken have quite the opposite effect.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viagra
/kenm
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Recreational drugs..... Not boner pills.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viagra can be a recreational drug
turbosexophonicdlite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd have to be high to wear those jorts.
Edit: I now realize his pants were just rolled up.
neoballoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most recreational drugs kill the boner. Amphetamines, cocaine, crack, opioids. Weed can cause arousal though I guess.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:47:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck do you figure that?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:48:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shirtless and shoeless and crazy-eyed? I dunno, it's just a guess.
ChornWork2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easy Columbo. Enough astute observation mixed with disarming, humble commentary.
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 20:25:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JnnyRuthless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:56:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a dude who has had boners and been arrested (not at the same time) I think your logic holds up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, checked on the Internet.
SrslyNotAnAltGuys ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 20:23:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't every guy get a rager as soon as they get handcuffed?
No?
Just me and this guy, apparently.
beer_madness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
( อ ยฐ อส อกยฐ)
BombastixderTeutone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:35:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because boners do strange stuff. Ever hugged your grandma and gotten a boner?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:42:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ranciddan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's okay since you're OP's alt account.
BombastixderTeutone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We should swap our grandmas' then
Wangchief ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner!
mushr00m_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP posted YouTube source in another comment. Dude is on some awesome drugs
NoMeGustav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
borkborkporkbork ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Justice boner.
partyjeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/JusticePorn can get it goin
mattdamonsleftnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fear boner
IAmTheGingerWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:28:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt that's why he was arrested...
pease_pudding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. He was in possession of a dangerous weapon
shellsandcheez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it kinda looks like he was just woken up from a drunken pass out. would it be possible for his morning wood to stay that long?
criptkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely adrenaline. I usually get one after I hit a huge jump or do something gnarly that gets my heart pumping. It's exciting!
ChornWork2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:55:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the huge jump, or the boner?
criptkid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both!
JnnyRuthless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well when I worked at Starbucks we had a number of homeless dudes (and non-homeless dudes) who thought a cafe would be a pretty good place to whack it. So there may have been some pre-gaming here, as it were.
kultovbela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/cI9QJk1.webm
zaphod_beeble_bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doesn't necessarily mean it's a boner, i've seen guys dragging a pork tenderloin around the crotch even when they're not aroused. Guy's just got a big dick.
MRbraneSIC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he could easily be on drugs.
or the adrenaline from being arrested could be the cause. kinda like rage-boners.
anything we say is just a guess though.
pingchu29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear Boner
M8asonmiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at this fuckin normie
skooba_steev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
Kev-bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you can't control it.
gymnasticRug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boners
OfficeChairHero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even more horrifying to Reddit...there's a possibility he was soft.
goalstopper28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's into BDSM.
megadeadly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing this video and I can't believe I missed this part. Lol.
xtremechaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably just an idiot title. There are growers and showers.
Forever_Awkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:13 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just ask somebody why they have a boner.
Chief_H ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:22:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
BackFromTheFuture12 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 20:19:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This just came to mind: https://youtu.be/pEsZkTTgydc?t=24
Plexipus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:03:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing!
"What is the charge? Eating a succulent Chinese meal?"
And then as he is stuffed into the car, "Tetta and farewell!"
I want this man to narrate my life.
Uttrik ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:44:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was the one for me.
Plexipus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a classic, but the officer handled it like a pro; the cop in the OP acts like he got penis cooties.
c15co ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this guy was the inspiration for Rob Burgundy
victoria_murse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god - I forgot all about this stupendous man. Thank you, stranger!
"A SUCCULENT CHINESE MEAL?"
BackFromTheFuture12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This Bane vs. Batman Democracy Manifest cannot be forgotten either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wp8KzI46X4
jambocroop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant.
WorseToWorser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OMG. One of the best videos I've ever seen in my entire life. Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6S8dzXHbe0
LALuck318 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be the classiest arrest of all time. Hilarious.
stanhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh this man is magnificent. A natural comedian. He sounded like something out of the Monty Pythons .
dysangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he sounded more like Deathstroke from Arrow.. actually.. that a pretty appropriate name given the topic
dysangel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for me it was https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5mS5jj8fq8
OnceUponNeverNever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow made my day!
johnmomdoe ยท 545 points ยท Posted at 20:27:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done it. It was my first day in uniform...I hadn't been to academy yet and was riding with another officer just to get a feel for the city. We caught some truants and he asked me to pat one of them down.
He had baggy jeans that were down around his hips and I thought I was checking his waistband when BAM handful of wiener.
That kid started yelling about how his momma was gonna own our department after they brought their lawsuit. I was mortified...my LT told me I was fine since I was just doing my job.
The kid got his arm partially amputated last year by a homeowner that decided he didn't want to be burglarized and took quick action with his sword.
Anyways. It happens. Not fun.
craftygamergirl ยท 315 points ยท Posted at 20:35:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does Viggo Mortenson live in your town? Because it sounds like something Viggo would do.
Spingolly ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:08:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WWVD?
Foxdashman ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 21:46:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who Wants Venereal Disease?
Spingolly ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:53:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take 'Things Tommy Lee Says' for $400, Alex.
meowkittygorawr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aftet hearing about the pacifier 2 more like WHAT? WHY VIN DIESEL???
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why this was the comment that got me. I mean, you're retarded, but I'm cracking up and you might just be a retard genius
KentWayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who Wacked Vin Diesel?
Dicho83 ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 21:33:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viggo does have A History of Violence.
sev02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good one, I like that movie as well.
Really_Dont_Know ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YEEEEAAAAHHHH!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:26:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just your friendly neighborhood Viggo.
mrbucket777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/tCnjC53.png
riptaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I have a gun and a machete. Although the gun is obviously first choice, if I can ascertain that it's someone without a gun or I'm putting someone else in my house in danger by firing, I'll go with the machete. It owns most other weapons besides a firearm and isn't as risky if you've got other people to worry about and/or have managed to figure out what the people breaking in are armed with.
But just to be clear, gun is the safer bet almost always. Would not recommend risking it if you're not sure
zuiquan1 ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 20:38:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You really did get a feel for the city.
mattfrancois ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:06:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We feel this city by grabbing dicks!!!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1b8AhIsSYQ
JnnyRuthless ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel for you dude. Many years ago I was arrested for a DUI, and they piss-tested me for BAC. I felt bad for the cop that had to hold my dick since my hands were still in cuffs.
shoryukenist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wut
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Way to go, sword owner!
ownedbyollie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why...did someone have a sword?
jvene1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 20:46:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you not get your katana issued to you with your fedora when you made your account?
LearnsSomethingNew ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:01:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, he needs to get more m'lady stamps before he can cash it in at Friendzone Central Terminal.
Euphorium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's an official limited edition Frostmourne replica sharpened to perfection, you pleb.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ownedbyollie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:53:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is maybe an American thing, I don't think they're even allowed in the UK. Maybe they are, but I've never even heard of someone having on. I think the idea that someone would have a sword in their home that they then wielded as a weapon to defend themselves is what makes it so bizarre to me.
SmaragdineSon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Completely legal! You can't take them outside though. You can be a collector, have a decorative piece, or just keep it in the home for self defence, but you can't take it outside - unless it's for re-enactment and you have proper proof.
ownedbyollie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I'm quite surprised you're allowed them for self defence. I'm not at all well versed with the law on this but I thought only 'reasonable force' is allowed. Would have guessed a sword would fall out of this remit.
SmaragdineSon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:13:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just because you have a sword doesn't mean you have to stab them to death. Just the threat of a sword (i.e. common-law assault) is going to be enough to scare off a lot of would-be burglars. So long as you don't chase them down the street once they run away, or kill them (killing them will make it a lot harder to use self defence because, as you said, reasonable force) you'll most likely be able to rely on the defence.
Icanweld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shit even Sheldon Cooper keeps a sword on the wall. this is America
Forever_Awkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anybody not have a sword? What do you cut things with, a sharpened spoon?
weefaerie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you've never been to those wizard/dragon peoples' houses where they're on display all over the walls?
ownedbyollie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. Though I do live in the UK which might go some way to explaining that.
BB_Rodriguez ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:39:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I now have you tagged as "Holds kids cocks"
But seriously story time on the hack and slash IRL. I wanna know how that went down.
johnmomdoe ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:53:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't anywhere near where I work and i don't know how to correctly link the story but here is a quote:
According to the Sheriff's Office, after the first 911 call, the resident armed himself with a sword and slashed the person who had broken into his house.
MenschenBosheit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:05:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here ya go
curiosity_the_rover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You the real MVP
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd imagine it'd happen pretty often to you guys to be honest, that's right where I keep my gun and if I were the type to wear my pants low it'd be right at a level with my unit.
Thehumanracestinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Just to get a feel for the city". Mission accomplished.
CrisisOfConsonant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Baltimore.
johnmomdoe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Kansas.
CrisisOfConsonant ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:33:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come to Baltimore. We had somebody try and break into a guy's house only to end up losing part of his hand to a katana. You'll be right at home.
Baltimore: Big city problems, Small town tax base.
SmaragdineSon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From what I've read, he fully deserved it.
Euphorium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gave that thief some Babylonian justice.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
springloadedgiraffe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably amputated around the forearm/elbow instead of at the shoulder.
devolute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best story about touching someone else's penus ever!
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My nephew processes individuals in for the county jail.. Oh god his stories are hilarious. Asked him how it was after his first cavity search - he gagged.
I, on the other hand, laughed my ass off.
mattfrancois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hehehe
Ad_Hominomnom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you certainly got a feel for something that day.
StanTheManBaratheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was this near Johns Hopkins? Because my buddy's neighbor cut off a kid's hand with a sword for robbing him a few years ago. Surprised if this is commonplace
Bogushizzall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WOAH! What the fuck!
That's some cool shit though.
MexAmerica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
Underscore_Guru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was that in Baltimore? I remember reading a story a few years back about a burglar who got killed with a samurai sword....
skooba_steev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Very quick. Very Agile. Very Deadly.
Source: http://kxan.com/2014/09/21/texas-homeowner-stabs-accused-intruder-with-spear/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BAM handful of weiner! SUPRISEEEEE!!!
ImNotScotch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well it looks benign." "Benign... Ten... Yeah."
commentor2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A similar thing happened in Baltimore
Booblicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Papa_Hemingway_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You were in uniform without going through the academy first?
johnmomdoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We aren't supposed to really "work" but we've qualified with our firearm and can ride along and learn. We just have to go to academy within a year.
RecoillessRifle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Churchill? Is that you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
bfanforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How old was the guy? Wish I could feel up young guys.
Ifuckinglovepron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:57 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, from related anecdote to holy shit wtf anecdote in 3...2...
IRQL_NOT_LESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Baltimore?
johnmomdoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:10:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not Baltimore. Midwest.
informate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:23 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got a feel for the city alright.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:54:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truancy
Holy shit. That's a cause for groping people in US? Missing school? Why no cavity search while you are at it?
Land of the free indeed....
Now where have I heard this one before? Hmmmm....
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, let's have the guy who hasn't been to the Academy yet out on the street patting people down. Sounds like a great idea.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, exactly what I was thinking as well. People are OK with people who are not cops pretending to be cops in US, grabbing people's genitals for not going to school? "Professional" cop saying he'll surely get away with it so no need to worry.
Amazing how this is apparently a controversial view to people here.
CurlyNippleHairs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:49:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ey y u be cuttin off ma arm i did int do nuffin
ProgrammingPants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This should be like one of those shame ads they do for people sagging their pants.
"Don't sag because if you get in an altercation with the police they'll grab your dick."
Maybe make it sound like less of a threat though
Divotus ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:42:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Feels like a 9, maybe even a 10"
tbonanno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows the best 40 is a 22 and the best 10 is the 40.
fukkboi420 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:57:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arrest porn; from glock to cock.
arayabe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ay lmao
EatSheets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guys looks down, "that's my penis, guy".
Officer opens his hands trying to flick the cock matter off him & looks around to see if anyone saw he was gay for a second.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew"
bogidyboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You!
deknegt1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A new game, glock or cock
Mr401blunts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You deserve every last point & all of this spam. I hope you like reddit blowing your shit up lol
J0kerr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyhojksn4U
bassshred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Cop: "What's this?"
Dude: "A very dangerous weapon sir. I wouldn't touch it unless..."
Cop: Interrupts... "What do you have in your pocket!"
Dude: "It's my penis."
Cop: "Oh my Christ"I
it_burns_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a 9inch glock or are you just happy to see me?
almostaccepted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy the fact that you counted
DevilsAdvocate1217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OTPHJ??
Can_I_Read ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then he added a seventh little flick for good measure.
kid_miracleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, just his flesh gun.
Bladamir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officer lenk had to search it that many times to find what he wanted.
itwasntme19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're under arrest...no homo."
squidcoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he's still packing heat
JJ_The_Jet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lets go skeet shooting.
P0R7LAND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's get one more grab in just to be sure.
Fagtal1ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He stroked it a few times before saying no homo and looking away to prevent any more feelings.
Fagtal1ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He stroked it a few times before saying no homo and looking away to prevent any more feelings.
GoodEdit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thatsapenis.gif
highflyindude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you can see him say, "That's my dick" and that's when cop is like ohhhhhh k.
FourAM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop and Frisky
ThePoliticalPenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GLAAACKS WE LOST TO GLAAACKS
Strongbad536 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I got a cock in my rari"
ChAsap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a fuckin wankah!
Zorgogx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SHIT!!!HE'S COCKED AND READY TO FIRE!!
Fuck_Me_If_Im_Wrong_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a Cock 9!
Aero10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cock 17 if you know what I mean.
SubOrbitalOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is only 9mm :(
banjoellie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glock or Cock?
Vrigoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here take some gold, I'm still laughing!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:27:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that was funny as fuck
whatshisuserface ยท 2505 points ยท Posted at 18:11:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about simply "grab," it looks like he started and finished a job.
1MILLION_KARMA_PLZ ยท 457 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That frisk made him a bit frisky
ThomasLyle ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 19:05:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His trainer must have been this cop.
snotbag_pukebucket ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 19:10:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's gotta be from the TSA
Bad_Elephant ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 20:28:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
just gots ta look inside ya assho'
5027 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:59:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'M A GROWN MAN!
mrfourtwenty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tits sand ass
bitchpotatobunny ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 19:28:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Maggie Q being frisked?
ConfusedTapeworm ยท 146 points ยท Posted at 20:19:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you recognized her by looking at her butt?
[deleted] ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 20:26:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
notenoughspaceforthe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Game recognize game, son
cjreije ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Nah, you step your life up
edit: no Hannibal Buress fans huh?
probation_420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing I didn't have bomb juice on my hands.
cjreije ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:32 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you bring bomb water make sure it's sippable bomb water.
probation_420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't turn 29 until your birthday!
cjreije ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemme get 5 Jameson and gingers, to go, we got a god damn parade outside. Do you feel the energy out there?!
AeAeR ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:26:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm legitimately impressed but that guys ass-recognition.
bitchpotatobunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
Flying__Penguin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:47:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd know that ass anywhere.
DragonNovaHD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That scan is pretty... interesting... Any real context besides the face-hiding?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:51 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a running joke with Nightwing. He's got a sweet ass.
DragonNovaHD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:12 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, if that's old Dick then I understand ๐. Just didn't notice it was him, I know the running gag well ๐
Flying__Penguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't really know, never read it myself. All I know is that the Ass is Dick Grayson.
DragonNovaHD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:12 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, makes sense then
dynde87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:46:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
just finished season one of Nikita today - I had the exact same thought when I saw that.
bitchpotatobunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon man... you need to ask?
Wombizzle ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 20:03:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By Timothy DeLaGhetto
SWATZombies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Royal penis is clean your highness
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Long lost cousin of famed poet, Rafael DeLaGhetto.
rob_var ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky!
Jerry_the_Cruncher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:16:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or this guy
BDaught ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ass n' titties...
MineAughty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
source?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:56:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
thepancake36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who was the girl who was 17?
She looks like Fish Mooneys toy from season one.
Peacer13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source plz?
rathen45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was looking for da bomb!
timhortons1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
should have been dangle!
Domefarmer ยท 230 points ยท Posted at 19:17:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/copsfinishingthejob
srry_didnt_hear_you ยท 349 points ยท Posted at 19:45:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That... Could be a really dark subreddit...
random123456789 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 19:54:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering all of it would be marked NSFW, it would be a bit like russian roulette.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:34:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/FiftyFifty
calamormine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:43:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fiftyfiveo
Just_like_my_wife ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:54:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't exist yet. You can make it so.
TrynaSleep ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:26:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god. Who brought it to life?!
BeardedLogician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I assume it was /u/WarMace as he is the moderator, and has posted two links there.
WarMace ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:58:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't resist.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SUBSCRIBED!!!!!
Domefarmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:12:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. I didn't think about that as I was typing it out.
dpekkle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:26:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aaaaand I just saw a cop executing a man.
DoubleUnderscore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
3 Cop gropings and one point blank execution by cop. The last one may be fake.
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No half-chubs.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dark in more ways than one.
VeggieLane ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/coppingafeel
Just_like_my_wife ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:54:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/copsfinishingthedonut
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love how someone saw this? Immediately made the sub themselves and posted these exact 2 gifs.
Domefarmer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A comment I made started a sub?! Oh man. This is better than gold. I'm honored.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's your child now, so now you gotta take care of it
apmechev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now that link is purple
JonasBrosSuck ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 19:05:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i guess he was copping a feel
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No.
karlomac ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 20:23:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna give you 10 minutes to get your hands off my cock.
bogweasel87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"10 more minutes of this and I'm gonna get mad!, not my fault this is happening "
Certweinuvrasok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how are we going to prove your cock is an actual cock in 10 minutes, we still need to do more research, much more research
ambivilant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:31:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the video, after the property manager walks out, you can see him make a second grab with his right hand!
Can_I_Read ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seven good wanks, that's about all it takes.
dilladog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude goes back for seconds
Noyournotperfect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was a lousy job by anyone's standards.
Partytang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you frisk it more than twice youre playing with it.
Epidemic7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He definitely copped a feel there
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gave Rafi a hand jibber.
FosterTheFool ยท 462 points ยท Posted at 19:26:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Officer, if you keep doing that, it will go off."
SpcAgentOrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it won't go off record.
MoistUnderbelly ยท 923 points ยท Posted at 18:30:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That moment when you recognize your apartment lobby.
And this happened a year ago?! How did you find this OP?
Edit: 2014 is now two years ago. I didn't live here then.
Half_Dead ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 20:10:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are the new tenant who replaced this guy.
Deathalo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:14:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So cops now feel up this guy's cock? I'm confused.
bogweasel87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:03 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm convinced. We did it, Reddit!
ksykx ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 21:05:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god...I read your comment and I was like haha, that's interesting, looked at the gif again and then slowly realized that it looked familiar to me too.. THEN I REALIZED IT'S THE TRIANGLE. I LIVE HERE TOO. WHAT.
EXTREMELYLAME ยท 270 points ยท Posted at 21:50:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the real magic of reddit. When two strangers can find out they both live in an apartment complex where a cop accidentally jerked a man off, who may have been or could still be one of their neighbors or even a previous resident of their home.
BDaught ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:27:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now we can finally get some closure! /r/redditorsfinishingthejob
PeperAndSoltIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:37 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click...
bogweasel87 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:14:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
Xx_Black-out ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:05:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THIS IS WHY WE DO IT, PEOPLE!
hellosexynerds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/r4r
Sssssshhhhhhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally...."
englishichistnicht ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:23:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I expect you people to meet and post a pic. For some reason I imagine myself feeling quite fuzzy on the inside upon opening said thread.
jesusdies ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:17:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They should recreate the scene and post it here.
hupcapstudios ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:56:31 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seconded
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I ask what city this is in?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
englishichistnicht ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:59:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The reviews aren't very positive. I bet if you scroll down enough you'll find "got molested by a police officer in the lobby - 2/5"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
0rangecake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/kmZmTIv.jpg
SomeoneHasThis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
probably not a good idea to announce the exact building you live in on reddit
hupcapstudios ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:57:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Is someone going to hunt you down for your Karma?
SomeoneHasThis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never underestimate how crazy a stranger could be
theharlotsings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:31 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What city/state is this place in? I want to find this man.
ksykx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Austin, Texas. Good luck...we got a lot of weirdos.
HeroofWinds1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is the triangle the name of the apartment?
ksykx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it is. It's a large multi-building apartment complex community in Central Austin.
HeroofWinds1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:55 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You guys should arrange to meet in the lobby where the cops where standing :D
Itsatemporaryname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The triangle?
SystemZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it was the triangle, I installed the maglocks on doors in that lobby and game room.
SledgeHog ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 18:54:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On reddit
MoistUnderbelly ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:24:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks OP!
AFreshStartVI ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 19:10:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs
voteforabetterpotato ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Christ. What a ride.
BDaught ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:43:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. Cold turkey withdrawals from a GABAb agonist (a fucking muscle relaxer). Basically a CT benzo withdraw. Lost my fucking mind slowly. Luckily I wasn't in public wasn't in a public place. 10 day nightmare until they figured out what was wrong.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:23:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's not high. His blood sugar is low.
boring_oneliner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nice pull
wlum07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what a gem
Zosymandias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did anyone else catch the second grab the cop makes near the end?
GUTIF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"is he on drugs?"
MulderD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No... but that crazy guy STILL lives in the building.
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's always weird learning about murders that took place in your building before you moved in ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
The_Pioneers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping it weird?
huskyheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must continue his legacy.
Potato_palya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the same guy karma whoring. Duh!
Emerald_Triangle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:44 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF does this mean?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:43:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:48:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
t_geezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhh. Okay. P
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:19:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
big_hungry_joe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i fucking knew they were austin cops
Knight-in-Gale ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 18:38:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His partner is like:
let me pretend I didn't see that and look the other way.
hotformydaddy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:55:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the most entertaining part to me.
AllPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He like zooms in and looks straight at the guys dick to see if his partner is really about to grab it, then looks away in disgust.
breakone9r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't be too difficult, I mean, cops look the other way for other cops all the time, right? Right guys? Too soon?
MedicineFTWq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welp, any wishes I had to become a cop are now gone.
croixian1 ยท 2516 points ยท Posted at 18:01:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! The look on his face when he realizes what it was!
GhostOfPluto ยท 1552 points ยท Posted at 18:34:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not gay if you're wearing gloves, right"?
straydog1980 ยท 674 points ยท Posted at 18:36:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hypothetically speaking, if I put a glove on my dick and jam it up another man's ass... am I gay?
FeIodineCalciumLly ยท 995 points ยท Posted at 18:37:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, you're a doctor looking for cancer
Thybro ยท 461 points ยท Posted at 19:37:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doctors don't use their d.... Dude your proctologist may have some explaining to do
Oxxide ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 19:42:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure only the doctor's penis can detect the colorectal cancer, a finger just won't cut it with this new cancer.
Gullibler ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 20:28:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn antibiotic resistant cancer.
ShrayerHS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:52:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Antibiodick*
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:45:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I should or should not vaccinate my kids? I'm confused
moldysandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they go to medical school for so long, right? I think that's the only way to get your penis legally qualified to detect this kind of cancer.
fusems ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, the glans is one of the most sensitive spots of the body, it makes sense.
Pagiras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cock would not cut it either. Pretty sure you'd need a knife of some sort for that.
M3wcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Relax, I be a doctor." licks ear
svenhoek86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:32:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh god I'm about to get raped in a Jamaican hospital. The gypsy woman was right!"
FerrumLilikoi ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 19:45:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worst thing to hear during a prostate exam:
"Look! No hands!"
[deleted] ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 20:36:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BEARS-AND-BEETS ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or "You have prostate cancer... Look! No hands!"
Shrinky-Dinks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Followed by "Say CHEESE!"
ToKe86 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:50:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Followed by "Wait til Reddit sees this..."
wqtraz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Now let's do a silly one!"
FerrumLilikoi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:53:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me chuckle quite a bit. That is a very good point
TrynaSleep ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No 'glove' either!" ;)
blamethepunx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Doctor, where should I put my pants?"
"Over there with mine."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
THAT'S HOW THEY MEASURE PANTS!
NoMoreLurkingToo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost nobody got this. Fucking kids.
pheedback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best uses of a mid thought cut off. You are fucking hilarious.
VladimirPootietang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No way, my proctologist uses his d exclusively. Cured me of colon cancer! Of course, he never did give me any proof that I ever had it...
alpharaptor1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're proctologist is examining you and you feel both his hands are on your shoulders... He just loves his job.
SexyJazzCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey look, no hands!!"
Alarid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless your proctologist is your boyfriend
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I... um... I'll take his number...
twitchosx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Worst dentist I've ever been to
SpaghettHenderson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would actually probably be pretty effective. The penis is much more sensitive than the finger, and you can actually surprisingly feel very accurately with it. For example, it's much easier to feel and predict contractions of vaginal muscles during unprotected sex than with your finger. A seasoned buggerer can probably detect prostate cancer as well as a doctor.
M8asonmiller ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No man, that's how they check for cancer- IN PRISON!
PmMeYourWhatever ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, that's how they measure pants. . . IN PRISON!
Artvandelay1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:40:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Or a Cancer looking for a Leo.
lecheventi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or a Leo looking for an Oscar
moldysandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't worry, I'm just checking to see if you have ass burgers syndrome."
iamhipster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lucky becoming a obs/gyn is a little more difficult to get into than preisthood
alexbhood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to alarm you..... but uh.....I don't really know how to say this. Your doctor may have raped you.
Lunchboxzez1229 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, out of all the medical procedures, this one still seems like the most barbaric. There've got to be better ways to look around then sticking two fingers up your fucking bum.
Mikeismyike ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a heroic story.
Arshzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
joey?
haffbaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See I told my dad that but he still won't return my calls.
DavidTheHumanzee ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 18:55:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, you can suck all the dicks in the world and as long as you aren't attracted to said men you'll never be gay, just a cocksucker.
purplezart ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What an enlightened perspective!
HushPuppies69 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:02:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$20 is $20
purplezart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, hang on, I think I figured this out...
You can suck all the dicks in the world and as long as you don't charge for it you'll never be a whore, just a cocksucker.
alexbhood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's just prison rules.
waiv ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:11:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a prankster.
sowhatifimkindofblue ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:42:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you say 'no homo' afterwards.
sim_pl ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:37:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a prank, bro!
rycology ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GONE WRONG
Joshtp152 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What are thooooose!
kalitarios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if wearing white gloves. Blue gloves, it's still gay.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you play it off as a prank.
GobblesGoblins ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:16:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then my wife didn't cheat on me after all because they used a condom, she wasn't getting fucked by his dick, she was just getting fucked by some latex, pretty much the same as a dildo right?
....right?
ranciddan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right.
w00kiee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Yeah. Sure thing boss.
Edit: do I really have to add a sarcastic flag for you daft people to realize I'm not being serious? Good g-d.
YVX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only gay if the balls touch.
BB_Rodriguez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is why you wear a ball bib
SgtDoakesLives ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just science.
Deaths_head ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:30:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if i shove my bare dick up his ass, but I'm wearing gloves?
Death_Star_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So, class, what is the primary reason why female doctors are preferred for proctology exams?"
"Because if we end up liking something up our butt we wouldn't be gay?"
"Uhh...no. It's because their fingers are smaller."
(From some comedian I heard years ago)
foxyshizzam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't jelly it up there, you should be fine.
Sippingin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hm good point.
becker_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically that's just a condom right?
nubijoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glove, no. Condom, yes.
Dawulf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cold
fingerslatex of injustice...Brunoob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are never gay as long as the balls don't touch
BLooDCRoW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Semi-relevant
2ero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this doesn't make you gay, then I am still a virgin.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:12:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gay if you beat them up after.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still gay, just kinky.
M8asonmiller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what Fight Club 2 is about?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:37 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Chris Brown is not straight.
IntaglioSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kite Runerrr
Knight-in-Gale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean hand condoms?
Methofelis ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:55:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just play it 100% safe.
yourfavouritemoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha wtf
crazytankx2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gay if you say no homo
modern_rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as he whispered "No homo."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It was over the pants you guys it doesn't count!"
cultsuperstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, it's a fetish."
OwenMerlock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Use a drumstick instead.
pragmaticbastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He even fully opens his hand at the end like he is trying to undo what just happened or forget the memory of what it felt like.
GloriousTakoyaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only gay if you don't say "no homo"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's only gay if the balls are touching.
Minjeater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Straight-on-straight gay action.
analcrackers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what dad always told me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your are all prudes! Absolutely nothing gay about doing your job professionally and then accidentally touching a juicy thick cock.
aceoftrachs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Things Michael Jackson Said for $1000, Alex.
Garizondyly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably even gayer than without gloves.
RenoGuy76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gay if you don't make eye contact.
JoMich85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only if the balls touch
Kaih_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as he whispered "brojob" afterwards he is fine.
moobart ยท 244 points ยท Posted at 19:38:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks around to see if anyone else saw it. Then hes like "Whoa close one. I will just keep that to myself. No one will ever know."
Except for Reddit.
Half_Dead ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:09:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except for every single person who is alive or who will ever live, from this moment hence forth.
Gavinunited ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoah, slow down there, slicker.
purplezart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just like to take this opportunity to say that hence actually means "from here" (and thence, "from there"; whence, "from where"), so saying "from hence" is unnecessarily repetitive.
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, then...
deedeeiam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the video, he goes back in, from the front....and then doesn't tell his buddy who proceeds to do almost the same thing.
makeinstall ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 20:00:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Check the "finger spread of cringe" he does when it sinks into his soul that has repeatedly grasped and manipulated another mans cock!
ZeeHanzenShwanz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:45:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He got them heebie jeebies real hard.
Siicktiits ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 19:54:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lmao i know, watch his hand as well, he like spreads his hand apart like its going to get the dick off it
Thehumanracestinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:09 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dick gets into everything! Fucking impossible to get out too...
BelieveEnemie ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 18:38:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Damn it, I went to police academy so I could leave my days at the TSA behind me. Why does this keep happening to me?"
alargeamountofcheese ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl-F, "TSA". I was not disappointed.
tweakingforjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its a mystery.
rxchxrd ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:36:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That last squeeze before he pulls his hand away was the "oh shit" moment.
Certweinuvrasok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was more of a realization that he was being videotaped, or else he would have kept on researching for "possible weapons"
too_toked ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:15:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that hand flex at that the end.. like he got the Heebie-jeebies from his handy work.
ifyoureadthisfuckyou ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:25:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He shakes his hands like he's trying to shake the dick particles off
croixian1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL!
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:57:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Zeb-ra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone make this guys eyebrows upvote arrows.
seanthebeloved ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:51:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be the change you want to see in the world.
wellimatwork ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:37:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost as though his eyebrows themselves yelled "Oh no!"
emaciated_pecan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:37:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The other cop on the left immediately looked away, he definitely knew his comrade fucked up
Reality_Facade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could hear him clearing his throat
PlNKERTON ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His hand opens up as if to hopefully undue what he just did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cop will never, ever, live this down. Mistakes like this don't die.
PoopAndSunshine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh shit! It's a dick!"
D14BL0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ErFSO7z.jpg
higherinteligence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
Please stop using dum things like lol omg wtf!
DaWalrus69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at da flick of da wrist.
miriboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah..he forgot to say 'no homo'
No_big_whoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The last two frames.... that's the face of man who jerked a cock in the line of duty
deedeeiam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watch the video! He goes back for another grab from the front..
nat911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought I'd actually use this gif
VulGerrity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like the guy says something to the cop to get him to realize.
PM_ME_YOUR_GOKU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even those gloves won't help him now.
[deleted] ยท 1191 points ยท Posted at 18:13:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's this right here?
mechabeast ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 20:50:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We blurred the entire video just to be safe.
blessedbemyself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Rand Paul, and I approve this message.
xbtdev ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Porridge level seems safe enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEzhxP-pdos
ILoveToEatLobster ยท 353 points ยท Posted at 20:30:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In all fairness to the cop, his pants were below his dick. Also, a prime spot for a gun is in the waistband.
bathroomstalin ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:41:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is precisely why they wear 'em so low.
ILoveToEatLobster ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Free handies from cops? Sounds like a smart plan
Transfinite_Entropy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:04:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And here I thought it was because they are morons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Originally it was for a gun. Now its because that's fashion.
fourtwentyblzit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:10:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever carried a gun? Wearing your pants low would not be useful since the weight of the gun would make them go straight to the floor.
You need either good fitting pants or a belt.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 21:11:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. People of cultures that aren't mine are dumb.
alexbhood ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:19:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing your pants below your junk is objectively stupid.
hibaldstow ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Objectively stupid in what way? It's pointless and uncomfortable? I agree. Just like a tie.
alexbhood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As in, you're wearing them wrong causing them to restrict your movement and not cover what they were made to cover.
an_obscene_username ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:34:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also objectively stupid.
hibaldstow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but there's not widespread mockery of people who wear ties.
alexbhood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That has nothing to do with whether or not something is objectively stupid.
skarkeisha666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:57 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who wear ties tend to have their shit in order.
an_obscene_username ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:37:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, wearing ties isn't really associated with gangs and "thug life" shit.
Euphorium ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wearing pants is dumb. We should have never stopped wearing animal skins.
alexbhood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:51:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily. Jeans and tons of other pants are much more rugged and more easily washable.
Euphorium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you. I'll just kill another bear if something needs replaced.
Transfinite_Entropy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:13:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why you are replying, because that isn't what I said. And many cultural practices are pretty objectively stupid, such as infibulation.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a stupid practice, sure, but that doesn't mean everyone who does that is a moron.
Transfinite_Entropy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of does.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:35:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah plenty of undercover police dress just like that.
haffbaked ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah squishy guns always confusing people.
DoktorOrange ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 18:29:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I came here looking for this
jacluley ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 18:38:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God, that video never fails to make me laugh.
Shanerrrs ยท 291 points ยท Posted at 19:54:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry about that."
vitorizzo ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 20:06:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Great penis though"
ProvingWrong ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 20:57:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Still a great night"
juaydarito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:13 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Please don't hold it against the ladies"
Deathalo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/Mabh4h.jpg
FogOfInformation ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:36:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha
almostaccepted ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would have been the perfect follow-up
mrjobby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter - cock got felt.
Al3xleigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, he did say it was cold out there...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy gets it too
ThinkInAbstract ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You're alright."
The guy even casually dismisses it haha
almostaccepted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the perfect thing to say in that moment.
I_Love_McRibs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry" about that.
ehenning1537 ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 19:45:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He never checked the front right pocket. Also I always hide my weed under my balls so good luck finding it. You'd have to really want me in jail to look that closely
[deleted] ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 20:29:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, your weed has distinct notes of ball-sweat flavor.
xanatos451 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean ball-sweet, playa.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:34:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My sisters boyfriend says the same thing yet I've been patted down there myself when I used to keep my personal supply in the rim of my carhartt so I don't know what any of you people are talking about =\
weefaerie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I burnt a hole into it from the inside of the pocket by mistake with a half put out cig, worked out perfectly in the long run. Nice long flexable cloth tube
http://imgur.com/LdUrpim
EDIT: I didn't know what else to call it
r40k ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:36:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jacket.... lining?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what it's called? Hm. I thought the lining was the layer of cloth on the inside. Probably a stupid thought.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've had to pat people down before. You knife hand them down the crack and reach through to pat both sides. So, they'd definitely feel your stash if they did a proper pat down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly what happened. I've only ever been searched a few times but that jacket lining is the only thing that ever kept me safe somehow
w00kiee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait. Under your balls? How is this possible? Explain.
98785258 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:38:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Put bag of pot between dick and balls.
Let them hang
Gravity holds pot in place
ehenning1537 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See I usually try to wear boxer-briefs and I can just tuck it directly up under my sac. I can easily fit up to a quarter ounce under my balls without it being obvious
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marijuana doesn't seem like the kind of thing I'd like to purchase from under someones ballsack..
ehenning1537 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I just put my own under there when I'm in a particularly police heavy neighborhood
w00kiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just can't picture it because my mental reference image isn't allowing it (due to rules of gravity). In my head (also because I am not the proud owner of a set of balls) you'd need to tape it or tie it (sounds painful) for it to stay.
I just.. I want to believe but it's so hard.
CrazyLeader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's gonna want to smoke with you.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iRepth ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:26:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that was awful
tibsalot ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:32:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it started going somewhere then just went nowhere...
SmallChildArsonist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:38:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, it was written as the opening of a 22 minute show, not really intended to be a standalone sketch.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:15 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still an uncomfortable amount of footage. Beyond being unfunny the actors felt out of place and the lines poorly written.
SmallChildArsonist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more enjoyable within the context of the show. It's not their best, by any means. Funny show, though.
saintshing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:41:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The uploader has not made this video available in your country."
Shadax ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:49:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You missed nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucked out, that's time you'd never get back
Dontforget7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
0 funny
Shadax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This show is pretty fucking awful. I gave it a try and Hannibal Buress was the only character that didn't make me cringe.
mrpoodles11 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:31:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the worst video I have ever watched.
NA_FPL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so you really do smoke cheese huh
fizikz3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.......gives new meaning to dank weed.
DK_Notice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this a necessary part of your life?
Also, how much can you fit under there?
RedPandaRave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A roach on a good day.
Lolicon_des ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Four.
Themaroonbaboon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"that's your penis....alrightt"
AlGoreBestGore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is your next move, now that you've found it?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I looked for this here, and then came.
Deathalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you came here looking for his penis?
_Autumn_Wind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so did he
Deathalo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:12:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...s.. sorry bout that ...
dzendian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's my penis."
"That's yer penis."
memtiger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:49:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But honestly, who keeps their penis outside/above their pants?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He probably put his awkward walking boner in his waistband
It's penising 101
WickeDanneh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:01:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe rapists.
SirSmokesAlott ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:41:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is his penis in his shirt?
elmariachi304 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:45:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause the waistband of his pants isn't far above his knees
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:23:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if he wore his pants where they belong
ClearSearchHistory ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:46:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've never waistbanded a boner?
DoctorSauce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:57:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, sometimes it's the only option.
westcoastmaximalist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:50:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/redditorstormfront
KhalmiNatty ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 20:31:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thanks, fashion police. i'm glad that you're the expert on how other people should express themselves.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:33:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, everyone should totally expect a penis to be above the belt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think thats the point. Nobody is expecting an above the belt penis.
CaptainJackVernaise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one here that have ever tried to hide a boner by tucking it in his wasteband?
Ten_bucks_best_offer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHrBrz9bpJ8
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just never got boners at the drop of a hat growing up. Probably because I spent all my free time masturbating.
Corporal_Jester ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some Penises are bigger than others.
It is ok if yours does not rise above your belt.
Just because this man's dingus is above his belt, does not make you any less of a man.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:33:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be real though, he was trying to search around the waistband - which was below his dick... soo... he had it coming.
ElFeje ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody wants to see your ass hanging out. Pull your pants up dip shit
SporadicPanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was going to be the Eddie Murphy RAW clip.
SteveBuscemisWife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Thaaat's your penis, alriiiight."
bed_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Thaaaaat's your penis, alright"
Shpongolese ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you actually get any good bootys?
ShadowSpectre47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clicked on the post thinking it was this, then came hear to make sure this was posted. Good job!
hopscotchking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look out he's got a dick!
sgtspaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's my penis.
RickTheHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many times per week do you get asked how many asses you get per week?
I_can_pun_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most relevant post
That's my pane-is
๐๏ธ PRAISEninJAH ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 18:00:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs
[deleted] ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 19:22:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AeAeR ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 20:37:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ the women in that room were annoying. Yes, it's been 3 minutes, and you've called 911 3 times, and giving the dispatcher shit because police don't teleport. The dude was fucked up on something, but clearly wasn't assaulting the two guys out there with him, but was just being crazy by yelling and doing weird belt things. Calm down and give the police more than a minute to arrive before you call them again.
Or maybe I'm just desensitized to being around crazy people due to all the homeless near me.
58king ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:02:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They honestly sound like little kids. It's pathetic.
AeAeR ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:24:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they sound like sheltered high-schoolers. If this dude was on the street, I'd turn up my headphones and continue walking past him. Oh, he's yelling incoherently and is taking his clothes off? No gun or knife, and not assaulting the people standing right next to him? I've got shit to do. Even the security guards (if that's what those guys were) clearly aren't that concerned, no need to be freaking the fuck out in a closed office full of people.
58king ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:34:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On the streets, I personally would take the earplugs out and keep my hands out of my pockets while keeping him in my periphery vision and giving him a wide berth. It is easy to dismiss someone as a harmless looney until they sneak up on you and try to exorcise your demons with their fingernails.
Their screaming was literally retarded though. It only drew more attention to them and may have fed into his insanity.
pwnyoudedinface ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:35:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying you would give him a thorough ocular patdown.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/ZtJcqzS.gif
AeAeR ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair and smart. I'd keep my hands out and an eye on him, but subtly, because where I'm at the crazy people latch onto you if you acknowledge them or if they know you can hear them. The smart move would be to turn off the headphones but keep them in, but I'm so desensitized to it at this point that him yelling would just piss me off.
Iwasborninafactory_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When that crazy bitch says, "Oh my god, you need to get here now, he's leaving!" I wanted to slap that phone out of her hand. You've got a "threat", you've called the cops, and now you're concerned that he's leaving?
Thankfully he didn't, and he just banged the table behind him.
AeAeR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked how she said he was throwing things around the lobby, when clearly he wasn't.
calm-forest ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, they'd call this performance art at my old university.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly as a dispatcher, the best thing to do is keep them on the phone, and control the situation so they can't freaking out like that and screaming. Making sure they keep you updated on what is going on and being descriptive is a good way for them to focus and not let their fear take over...especially when he doesn't have a gun, isn't pounding on the door, and isn't threatening them.
AeAeR ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:11:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This makes a lot of sense, really good idea! Probably would have kept them calm and quiet, although alternately it could end with multiple hysterical women attempting to scream what's happening into the phone when he does something like hit the glass with the belt. But you do this for a living, you definitely know better than me!
Edit: did people think this was sarcasm?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that happens all the time too. Still, after a minute or so we can usually calm them down and keep them that way unless the situation changes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't really know what else to call it haha.
Blue_parrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work maintenance in the apartment complex this happened in. I can confirm they were annoying as hell.
Jonne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure if shit went down, the big security(?) guy in the lobby could've taken him on anyway. He just didn't want to step in if he didn't have to.
AeAeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Completely agreed, I just think the security guards doing literally nothing except slightly shifting is a pretty good example of them not being too concerned. They avoided all contact, didn't even say a word to the man, and just stood there. Pretty sure one of them went outside at one point (no rewatching so correct me if I'm wrong). Security guards who sense an actual threat don't act like that.
ItsCumToThis ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:41:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even the crazy guy comes over multiple times and is like stfu bitch, I'm tryin' to have a mid-grade freak out over here.
Zomgbeast ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 20:30:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Panicking when all he is doing is taking off his shirt...
fuckthat101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen/heard what people on pcp and shit like that can do? They hurt people and themselves. I'd be scared too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:32 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right he couldn't have been reaching for a weapon or something nah no way not in today's world that wouldn't happen
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:11:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you've got a personal story to tell us brother. I'm pretty sure it's not just women that lie to get people in more trouble.
iRepth ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 20:32:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry that's so unprofessional"
Look bitch, I don't think anyone is gonna hold an F bomb against you right now, this is clearly a WTF moment
blahblahwhocarez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:58:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If society and employers have taught me anything on a national level in the western world, it's that you acting anything other than perfect over social media / the internet in general is grounds for at the very least an investigation if not straight up grounds for dismissal.
Ask yourself this simple question: Would your conduct be permissible in a Disney movie? If the answer is no you're probably getting fired.
iRepth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely the reason I removed all employer information from social media. Which isn't bulletproof but it helps defend against some vindictive douche that aims to get me fired
blahblahwhocarez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But then you've got those coworkers you don't really like or prefer to keep at a professional level and they're trying to friend you... god damnit.
iRepth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I haven't accepted your friend request? Oh gosh I hardly use Facebook anymore anyway"
blahblahwhocarez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ah no problem! Well, now you know, so... yeah."
don't accept friend request, get mysteriously laid off 2 months later
kawaiihellothere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:52:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking hate bitches like that
damontoo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:40:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"omg he's taking his clothes off." "Can we videotape this please?!"
bplboston17 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:26:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
god those annoying women, and the one that called the cops 3 or 4 times was even lying... she was like "yeah hes picking up things and throwing them." what no hes not?? hes jus whacking the floor with his own belt..
Kromeous ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know, holy shit they we're annoying. She's like "Fuck he's not gonna do that is he?" and then repeatedly "I'm sorry guys, guys i'm sorry, i'm so sorry guys that was unprofessional, i'm sorry, sorry guys." "guys i'm sorry". Jesus fuck nobody cares, obviously!
modern_rabbit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:34:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"911 IS SUPPOSED TO COME NAOW!!!"
titsffs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah seriously, their reaction was like they were watching a natural disaster take place.
pragmaticbastard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"911 it's an emergency, you're supposed to come if it is an emergency."
I think the dispatcher knows what number you called lady. Maybe if you described what what happened as calmly as you could instead of screaming the the phone, they could get someone to you sooner.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn harpies.
verfresht ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What an annoying person!!
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:15:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
absentbird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a shitty joke though.
sexwound ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 20:33:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he's so sexy... nice furry body and a delicious butt
ItsTheMotion ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:45:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Totally smokin if you subtract out the crazy outburst.
eggplant_surprise ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 21:07:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I agree. Even the rage was somehow attractive. Maybe I'm fucked up.
No_ThisIs_Patrick ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:56:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll board this train. Was attracted to, though a little scared.
Dximus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:59:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ditto.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:41:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All aboard the shame train.
pizzaazzaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scaroused.
Iloldalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's dead now
ooohchiiild ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:39:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
Tree-Stump ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:17:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god yes! I was hoping someone would cross post this somewhere so I could see more.
bros_pm_me_ur_asspix ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:54:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like my ex, damn yeah I would eat out that furry butt before I laid pipe
PrinceOfCups13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes pls
pizzaazzaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right?
Augustushomme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? his ass is GLORIOUS, I got super turned on. lmfao.
Sssssshhhhhhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you get to see his butt in the video?
sexwound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:15 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2:43
Iloldalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's dead
broff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the same thing but apparently now he's dead and j feel weird.
[deleted] ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 18:38:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Tinfoilpain ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 18:49:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's clearly speaking dothraki, it is known
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 19:31:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously is this guy speaking a real language?
thedwarfthatrides ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:56:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like he maybe deaf
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:45:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Years of hardcore drug use can ruin an individuals ability to speak clearly...
Prime Example, dude was also in a "This is what drug do to your brain" PSA.
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:02:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to say, add drugs to this statement and I may have to believe you.
d_migster ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:31:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He sounds nothing like a deaf person.
BIG_JUICY_TITTIEZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he's definitely not deaf. He doesn't have a deaf voice at all and he doesn't demonstrate any deaf mannerisms. It's just a crazy dude shouting gibberish.
modern_rabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read somewhere that deaf people will sign reactions like how I would just blurt out "fuck" if something startled me or I was angry, but he doesn't seem to sign. Anyone know if this is true?
n_s_y ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:46:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's false. He's not deaf.
BIG_JUICY_TITTIEZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Deaf people definitely swear just as much as hearing people do.
RickTheHamster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently it is known.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:57:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is just terrible Spanglish.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:01:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
phatcan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:28:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it is known
RickTheHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is known?
GeeSeeGee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:42:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It
RickTheHamster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it?
MustardMoFoTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
sunshine_chauhan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:19:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now we know why they're called "horse lords".
stash0606 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Parseltongue more like.
ajrc0re ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how can you *KNOW*, cutter?
SquirrelGang ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:29:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually iirc they ended up saying it was due to low blood sugar
DislikesUSGovernment ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:54:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to live with a guy who had diabetes and the first thing that he told us when he moved in was that if he was acting strange that we had to call a doctor and give him his shot because if it got to that point he would be resistant. So that definitely seemed like what was happening here.
theempires ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:27:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind do you think? Way too angry for mushroom or acid.
motdidr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pcp
nerv_gas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:17:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nah, its very possible. I'm putting this down to hallucinogens actually.
I have had a violent outburst myself when I blacked out on LSD. I would never hurt anybody, but just doing what I thought was funny or felt right, and I can see this very possibly happening to anybody who takes the same amount of LSD with enough alcohol or, many combos with a hallucinogen in the mix.
PrettyGrlsMakeGraves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Post higher up has an obituary, apparently the poor guy was having a schizophrenic episode, and later on hung himself.
๐๏ธ PRAISEninJAH ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 18:02:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grab is at 6:45
1_upped ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 19:56:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
7:02 the cop goes in for another grab. Just to make sure that really was a dick.
GokaiLion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:14:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure the other cop is having a go at the end too, but the view is obscured
Pentobarbital1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, feels like a dick. Can you confirm?"
"10-4..."
PM_me_ur_TitsAnSmile ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
10+4... Inches
zoglog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah noticed that too. Guess you can never just have one touch.
busymakinstuff ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 18:22:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell of those girls are frightened or very entertained. I don't hear fear in their voices.. more like excitement.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:07:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were definitely enjoying themselves. 100%. They were relishing being able to tell the story later to their friends.
My mother-in-law is like that. The worst part is that she loves talking about when someone dies. It's really gross. I'm not saying these ladies are as bad as my mother-in-law, just that they were absolutely excited to watch while feeling protected by the people around them.
Division_Of_Zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say two are very afraid, and one is very excited, re: "putting this on Snapchat!"
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:47:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why exactly does he have a raging boner?
vitorizzo ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:07:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 20:09:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but he just doesn't look afraid. He doesn't look anything, really. Just standing there looking bored. Waiting for some cop to finish stroking his 9-iron.
SeekersWorkAccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:29:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i mean if everyone got a good ol fashioned every time they got arrested we would have a lot less resisting arrest charges.
somekid66 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:44:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you just solved the police violence issue in America
SeekersWorkAccount ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my 2nd grade teacher always said i was destined for great things ya know
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:30:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My bad.
random123456789 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:57:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drugs do all sorts of things.
DoctorBlueBox1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:19:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he wanted to get caught and now has a justice boner because he's getting what coming to him?
pragmaticbastard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
According to him, his blood sugar was low?
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I googled it and it says that low blood sugar is actually a boner killer.
envyxd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:44:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't actually have a boner, people are just saying it and the cop feeling him makes him look like he does. If you look a bit closer a few seconds before he gets handcuffed and he is closer to the camera, there isn't much there. Maybe the cops did feel his bulge a little, but it wasn't a raging boner.
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:46:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
watches again
I dunno, man. Sure looks like a boner to me.
envyxd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.. I'd say maybe his bulge, but you can't clearly see a boner. The way the cop kinda squeezes his pants are weird.. but idk.. my boner is never sideways like that, I don't think. It always goes down a leg.
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all boner are alike, sir.
envyxd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:57:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course.. but haha, I think people are exaggerating here and the title just sensationalizes the situation. If you watch the vid and try to look at his pants, it doesn't look like he has a boner.. The cop just has a feel.
Also, do people get boners in schizophrenic episodes? And if he is on drugs, most drugs that make people crazy like this kinda numb your penis, too.
iUsedtoHadHerpes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:38:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Also, if his dick is that big, it's definitely not hard the rest of the time. Earlier in the video, you get plenty of angles at his crotch along with all kinds of movement that would display it, but it's not protruding like it would have to be if what they're all saying is true.
But the biggest factor is this: at 1:28 you can see something in his left pocket that is in the same shape and spot that the cop was grabbing. I'm pretty sure he was just feeling out the shape of whatever that is to be sure it wasn't a weapon.
I think people just really want it to be a penis, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, not all dream dicks come true.
envyxd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this analysis. On the brightside, we get to see his ass.
pheedback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's a sub and he's just been wanting someone to take control.
wormspeaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't he have a raging boner? I mean, if your fetish is getting felt up by cops then he's on top of his game.
iUsedtoHadHerpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think he does. There's something in his pocket. You can see it at 1:28 right in the spot where the cop kept grabbing. The cop wasn't massaging his cock. He was feeling out the shape of whatever it is in his pocket.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't. It was all pocket.
gagnonca ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so you post a gif instead of a video so you can link to the video in the comments and then write the time in a separate comment reply to yourself rather than in the same comment as the video (or better yet--link us right to the time it happens). You must really care about worthless Internet points, loser
๐๏ธ PRAISEninJAH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What an interestingly negative perspective. Let me offer an alternative scenario. I find a video with a particularly funny bit in it and decide to make a GIF of that moment. As a courtesy to my fellow redditors I submit a comment with the source, which will undoubtedly be requested. Then, as a belated afterthought, I add the time because I realized that a time stamp would also be requested (admitting freely that I am unfamiliar with how to link directly to a specific time in a video). One could even argue that I would have received more โinternet pointsโ if I had just made one comment with the time stamped source. Instead, the additional comment gave me about 40 โpointsโ. Finally, you take it upon yourself to judge someone based on your hasty, and incorrect assumption, and even take the time to explain why you think an internet stranger is a loser on an hours old post. I donโt expect this to resonate with you, as a quick glance at your comment history makes it clear that you enjoy being a dick to random people on this site, but it is my humble opinion that chasing internet points is a much nobler pastime than throwing out cheap insults to internet strangers. I accept in advance that this comment is hypocritical because I am sitting here insulting you, however, I would like to point out that I am getting pleasure from attacking a douchbag stranger, not a random stranger โ so I like to think there is a certain validation in that. Loser.
Mutt1223 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 18:23:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kept waiting for him to drop his pants and plop a deuce right there on the lobby floor.
ElFeje ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:55:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow at the end he said his blood sugar was low. He might just be a diabetic having hypoglycemia. You can get very confused and angry if your blood sugar goes low enough. That scares the shit out of me because I was just diagnosed as type 1 last year.
Bewgs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:27:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL hypoglycemia can turn you into a minion of Satan.
ElFeje ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:30:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen anyone get that bad, but I've seen my dad get completely confused and not know what was going on and refuse to eat. My dad's not naturally an angry person though. The guy could have been lying but I believe him to be honest. I have a huge fear of a really bad low and have watched youtube videos of people having severe ones, they often do get very angry and nothing they say makes any sense. You have almost no brain function if it goes low enough, so imagine being in a dream with no ability to think. If that's what happened I feel bad for this guy, he's on the top of Reddit now and he probably didn't even know what he was doing.
DaltonBonneville ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:14:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"He's literally naked in front of us."
Yeah, he's not though is he. Still got his pants on.
theBesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, she said "he's literally getting naked in front of us," which wasn't particularly unreasonable to assume when he's taken off his shirt, his belt, and unzipped his pants.
bathroomstalin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:58:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was a pretty quick 7 minutes.
I kind of wanted him to whip it out.
I should walk my dog now.
(And by "dog" I mean an actual dog)
RDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would it happen to be..?
CraftyDrac ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:22:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whats actually going on there? O_o
fritder ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 20:38:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His blood sugar is low.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:22:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems legit
jonforgottheh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:46:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At 7:00 he goes back for one more feel with his other hand just to make sure.
FatalErrorr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:12:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol at 2:18, the chick on the phone "no, he's white"
iamjusthonest ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:56:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah... I will have whatever he is having.
RDay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One low sugar blood reading, coming right up Mr Honest/
HEY MEL!
dootdoot
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:55:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, he went back for another feel after the first feel.
Deathalo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly looks like he's completely sane/sober and doing it on purpose. For what reason I don't know but it doesn't look like the actions of someone on drugs, it looks like he's thinking about what he can do next without actually attacking someone, like it's a performance.
n_s_y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're absolutely right. You can tell right when the police come in he's very clear, coherent, and speaking normally. He says "my blood sugar is low," doesn't fight back, etc. He's just putting on a show.
ajs824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but just because he is putting on a show doesn't mean he isn't having some sort of episode. Sometimes things aren't so black and white maybe it's a little of both who knows. Sucks that no one in the video decided to try to calm him down or help him and they immediately try to demonize him. I honestly think them being behind the window making all sorts of insensitive comments was just making it worse.
Padarom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:27:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did they say "He's a white German [...]" - Did I misunderstand her or what is so German about him?
Ser_Twist ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:21:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probably said "gentleman", not German. If she did say German, which I doubt, it's probably just her trying to guess the language he is speaking. The lady speaking Spanish on the phone afterwards describes him to a friend outside as being "an Arab", which is also probably just her trying to guess the language.
gregthesneakymexican ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The yell he does at 1:12 will literally make you lol. Holy shit
2_minutes_in_the_box ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:28:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I know, I'll slap myself while yelling nonsensically. That'll bring her back to me..."
dawkter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Low blood sugar.
DataFork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listening to him speaking/shouting at the beginning and his wild gesturing not sure if he's Klingon or Deaf.
mr_sneakyTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One more check for good measure
Its_Cory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
with time marker. You're welcome :)
edit: UHH, yeah he did it again at 4:19. Was he just making sure...?
atom138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:15 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this. I never thought I'd see another video like it.
Thrannn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn i wish i were in the room.. i would beat the drugs out of him..
Reality_Facade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bath salts are a helluva drug
El_Cinico_Optimista ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 19:18:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop who didn't just grab dick: "yeah, that just happened... Look for something else to do.... Uhh, Yep... these chairs seem to all be in order here..."
Sazerizer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. After a million fuckups you just get in the habit of turning your head when your dumbass coworker makes idiot mistakes.
ConfuzedAndDazed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Martinez! Wait till we get him in the squad car!"
EngelbertDolfuss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:53:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're misunderstanding. These are police officers - the best and the brightest of your country, the strongest and the manliest. They both understand that it means nothing to touch another man's penis, that it is only part of being a man.
mpls_hotdish ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 18:33:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You have the right to an unenthusiastic handjob..."
Smgth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to waive my rights please...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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ScenesfromaCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the Miranda Cosgrove Rights.
Srsly though, she just looks like she'd give you a boring handjob while on the phone with the bank.
[deleted] ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 20:17:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a violation of the penal code
savbers ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:12:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:52:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Didn't even know my spelling was incorrect but right you are, good savbers. I give you and upvote.
Plexipus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard the guy was hung.
916ian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Thats a violation of the penile code
FTFY
PainMatrix ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 18:23:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he fans his hands after like yikes
retroshark ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 20:21:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also the guy getting fondled clearly raised his eyebrows slightly once he realised it wasn't just a glancing touch. That was the most amusing part.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:42:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
retroshark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:59:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I felt the same way when I had to strip in front of the prison guards during intake. I just put my fears out of my mind and owned that shit. Never had problems with nudity after that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The eyebrow wasn't the only thing being raised
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:41:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:54 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Graduated. Was drunk when I made the account. Common mistake.
bed_42 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:14:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I watched it again to see this and it's hilarious. He looks like he's thinking "alright then let's do this"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks down. Raises eyebrows as if to say "that is an impressive amount of my cock you're handling there, friend." Looks up with eyebrows still raised.
beer_madness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy: heh..
tonygordita ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, this ain't so bad after all.
TrynaSleep ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:30:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
staggers back
"Oh my god...I just groped his penis...his hard penis" D:
be-happier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I could feel his pulse"
i_spot_ads ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it wasn't even like the first time he got into this kind of situation, at the end he was all like "goddd damn it, not again!"
dylanbob5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this a weapon of some sort? Feels like he's got a squirrel in his pa- NOPE, that's definitely his cock."
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like spitting after someone says something nice about someone (kind of an old world custom) or knocking on wood, if you shake your hand after touching a penis it voids the contact of gayness (gaiety?).
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
sureidlovesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came to see this. Now I have to go clean up.
SrGoyim ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 20:02:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should be legally obliged to finish what he started.
[deleted] ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 20:22:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The blue balls law
ScenesfromaCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Boys in Blueballs
blinkenlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the Kylo Ren clause.
starhawks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Talk about cruel and unusual, dude is going to have serious blue balls.
Seusstein ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 18:15:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No one hears about this! You got that Johnson!?"
notCrazyMike ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 18:21:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good job leaving out that comma.
Ghejt ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:26:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Actually, you got that Johnson."
ranciddan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Roger that Sir.
Vall3y ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:44:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do hope that has happened
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got it, Sir.
rigel2112 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Johnson identified and in hand. Send backup
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:34:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the expression on the guy getting arrested when it happens. First shock, then raised eyebrows like "Huh, not bad...go ahead".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Proceed.
jetpacksforall ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Over 1200 comments and nobody wrote "Cop a feel?"
๐๏ธ PRAISEninJAH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw one other person say it. He was also surprised at how long it took!
jetpacksforall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bad punsters of reddit, you're letting us down.
RDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it wasn't THAT long!
Shamic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop a feel, happy now?
Hamboneable ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:23:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear Boner?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:50:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Bief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guessing you don't know the reference. "Fear boner" is a joke from the TV show "The League." _____ boner period is a running joke on the show. I recall fear and murder off the top of my head, but I'm sure Rafi has used more.
easyghostwriter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:13:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fearection
dmartin16 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fearection
GrabTheBleach ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 19:21:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That man is packin
bfanforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And when legally rubbed that's called jackin'.
devospice ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 19:35:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened on an episode of Cops years ago. The cop was frisking the guy, grabs something, and goes "What's this?" The guy calmly says "My bleeped because TV." The cop just said "Thaaaat's your penis. I do apologize about that."
HowManyCaptains ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:54:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/H_UMAhSK6_M
ikonane ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:21:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_UMAhSK6_M
rrasco09 ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 20:09:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is nobody going to question why the guy has a hard on?
Manacock ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 20:34:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
two hot cops feeling you up, why aren't you having a boner?
BALONYPONY ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
name checks out.
Serraptr ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He may be straight
farmerwouldsay ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 20:26:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fear boner
dumbfounder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or perhaps a murder boner?
TurboSloth9000 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:09:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An "Oh, No!"-ner, if you will.
InvincibleAgent ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 20:22:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why not?
envyxd ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:46:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's not hard. Everyone in the thread is just saying he is.
starhawks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:40:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are we also not going to acknowledge how well endowed that dude is?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fetish for being restrained
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/NoFap
bathroomstalin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:20:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you not have one?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xbtdev ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looked like a red rectangle with a face like this --> :/
TANJustice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
XiiCubed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was probably on drugs
xtremechaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is nobody going to question how we got the information that he has a boner in the first place?
Do growers v showers not exist anymore on Reddit or does everyone here just have a really really small dick?
guitarguy1685 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He just murdered a man. It's a murderer boner.
Shamic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes it just happens. For no reason.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HORNY DUDE?
Upvote_To_The_Left ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everyone too buys making jokes to ask reasonable questions.
The cop is just doing his job, why does the dude have a boner?
ItzInMyNature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell do you just assume he has a boner?
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 18:28:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:19:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something tipped him off though, so he wasn't totally shafted.
cocksparrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Might've been that private dick.
rigel2112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
but he has a raging clue at least
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If found guilty, I hope they "throw the bukkake at him" ;)
Serbeus ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 20:21:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/vqVpI.gif
aabicus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:43:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/MlHm0Zg.gif
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/niCleyw.gif
oldage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:21:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nowhere is safe
hank1154 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Came here specifically to post this GIF. Thank you for making the comments a better place.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 18:40:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
New dating/hookup app idea: Detainer
Reocyx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Detanr
Caveman_ATX ยท 428 points ยท Posted at 20:26:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Don't mean to be a buzzkill to everyone, but I knew the guy getting arrested and he is now dead. Shortly after the video he hung himself because of this (especially because it was recorded and spread around the internet) and a couple other schizophrenic episodes he felt he could never fight back from. Mental health is always something we as a society seem to dismiss as some drug fueled craziness, when in reality it is a HUGE problem we need to confront. Anyway, I'm sure he would have found the humor in all this during his better days....RIP dude.
Edit: Obituary source for all you keyboard commandos.
daimposter ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:56:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I never liked that these videos of mentally ill or drugged out people being posted online without their faces blurred.
mishibaby007 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:03:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Schizophrenia was the first thing I thought of when seeing this video. My sister is schizophrenic and has also gotten nude in public while screaming and throwing things. I did not find this funny at all and I know all the people that did probably just assume it's drugs or just some guy trying to make a scene or get attention, but I wish more people were aware and could have compassion for people affected by mental illnesses.
maltastic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is heartbreaking. I'm really sorry you, your sister, and your family have to go through this.
mishibaby007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, I really appreciate that!
Johnny_Couger ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:54:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. When he calmly took his glasses off and set them down, I had a suspicion it wasn't drugs. Something about how he did that just seemed so normal, like his words and actions were going fucking crazy but his sub-conscience was still struggling for control.
My dad was psychologist and worked with veterans. Every once in a while I'd visit him and see a guy having an argument with a fire extinguisher but then tell us good morning like everything was fine. Another time a guy came up and seemed perfectly normal then He started talking in that jibberish. It sounded like a conversation, but no real words came out.
It's just so terrible to see someone's mind lose control like that.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:12:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was just about to comment that this looks more like a mental illness/schizophrenia freak out than a psychedelic one (although they are very similar). Mainly assumed it wasnt psychs because of the set and setting/clothing, he clearly just started losing it on a normal day in the worst place possible. It just awful to seem him somewhat try to keep things together initially.
Everyone assumes drugs. No one remembers that they could have been born a bit odd and have this same thing happen in their brain too. Its so sad to hear what happened to him.
iHeartCoolStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:23 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
looks like he's keeping things together in the video to me. He's just standing there right? Was there another video in the parent comment that got edited out or something?
crispyshark ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. That is sad if true.
I waste too much time online so the video is old news to me. Interesting to get an update but sad to know that happened.
envyxd ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:47:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, if this is true, this should be upvoted. Any proof?
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im not sure what proof I could provide, but it is VERY true.
ooohchiiild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
ag3nt_cha0s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:15:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While watching the video it seemed exactly like something my schizophrenic friend would do and wondered if maybe that's what was going on... Sucks man. My brother committed suicide 7 years ago and I'm pretty sure he had it too. I'm sorry for your loss.
n000n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So sad. That was someone's baby boy.
Kuzune ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have a source? I'd like to read more if there's an article or something.
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
unfortunately no, there was not a article published (to my knowledge) and since i don't want his name out there i don't want to include obituary.
MagnusMcLongcock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:29:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, what an insensitive thing to say
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:28:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Forever_Awkward ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:26:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And this is what makes reddit such an asinine place. Everybody is lining up to the the first t0tally smart person who can't be fooled, automatically calling fake on everything based on nothing in particular.
dpfagent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but you're probably new to the internet.
What you learn is that the truth eventually comes out, being skeptical doesn't hurt people telling the truth.
Forever_Awkward ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:08:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't being skeptical. Skeptical implies a person is being cautious, yet at least thinks about it.
This is just reddit culture. "Everything is fake and gay."
And yes, that sort of thing does hurt people telling the truth. A person isn't exactly incentivised to continue interacting with such a toxic crowd who demands extensive proof while slinging insult after insult at them. Then, when the person doesn't bow down to their demands and takes a healthy distance from the angry mob, said mob claims it as a victory and proof of untruthiness. It's such a shitty, low-effort, stupid dynamic. So no, the truth doesn't eventually "just come out" because a bunch of kids cried fake for the sake of crying fake.
dpfagent ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 08:11:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly why I believe you're new to the internet.
Well, someday you'll learn that not everyone is honest and well intended. It has nothing to do with "angry mob", you're just being overdramatic over nothing
Forever_Awkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to get me to let you know how very long I've been here in order to prove your point about the truth coming out when claiming fake or something? It's pretty juvenile to default to claiming negative age/experience when presented with an argument instead of actually discussing the issue. If you're not capable/interested in talking about it, then just don't talk about it.
dpfagent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:27:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I'm trying to say is that when someone "claims something as fake" it has nothing to do with them being "childish", but rather with the nature of the internet which makes it easy for people to lie about anything. Being skeptical is only natural when lies can spread so fast.
Perhaps be a little more tough skinned and try to be less "offended" about skeptical people?
Forever_Awkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tough skinned? Offended? Now you're just being silly.
kendrickshalamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For what it's worth, this guy lives in the same building and said it was in Austin. San Antonio's not a reach. No pun intended.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:14:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PM me, i think I know him..
gooose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Were you able to confirm if you both knew this person?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no he hasn't contacted me
gooose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If what Caveman has suggested is true, I feel terrible about the reactions he's received. I found the source of the obit, I'll PM it to you.
port443 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obituary source looked like a crock of shit to me, so I used the power of internet to verify
http://i.imgur.com/KdX1xdl.jpg
pleasesir1more ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be rude, but do you have a source for that? An obituary link or police report? I'm just genuinely curious what happened to this guy
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was having a psychotic breakdown in the lobby of his apartment building. He used to blame shit all the time on his diabetes but in the last few months we realized it was a mental illness. As for a source not sure what you want, police took him to hospital for evaluation after this particular video but I don't know how to get that info.
pleasesir1more ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay no worries then. Where I live we have a "cityname mugshots" website that shows everyone that's been booked and lists what their charges are.
Caveman_ATX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he wasn't booked or charged for above incident, due to him telling the cops that he had "low blood sugar" they took him directly to the hospital. Obituary is found in OP post.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:07:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Caveman_ATX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:30:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, I'm really not.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Augustushomme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oop
probablynotfamous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Display flags at full staff in his memory, men.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
man
RenderedKnave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. Rip bro.
I can imagine he could have totally turned this into the beginning of a cheesy porn with female cops in mini skirts frisking him. Handcuffs ensue. Better plot than a lot of 'em.
broff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's sad :(
divinewinds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:04 on January 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's really sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I knew him. He seemed like a nice guy. He had kind eyes. I knew it was schizophrenia when the video started.
theracistsouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is it true what they used to say? it was as big as a desert eagle?
ArjenRobbenVanPersie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to be inconsiderate but you'd think someone would make sure to use the proper form of "too" in an obituary...
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your exactly right.
ShawnBootygod ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow I don't believe you entirely...
Caveman_ATX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:22:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
okay, don't really care...
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gooose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, this is the internet. There is no burden of proof.
wavecrasher59 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:21:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would he hang himself over being embarrassed when its not his embarrassment to hold on too but the officers. Unless you mean the fact that he was just arrested on camera made him upset which I do 100% understand.
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a .gif from a longer video. He didn't hang himself because of this video in particular (though it did haunt him), but the mental illness made his life unbearable. You are watching one of his first mental breakdown.
wavecrasher59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see well sorry for your friend things aren't always so easy in life.
floridacopper ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 21:39:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found this source for your claim.
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah man, fuck you too.
floridacopper ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at it this way. Either you're telling the truth and the world is one less on our nutjob population, or you're lying and you got some sweet karma for free.
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF is karma? How do you get it or use it?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Caveman_ATX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:24:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is Reddit at its best here.
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, your impassioned response really got me thinking....fuck you too.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typical Dude, getting handjobs from cops.
nerv_gas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:28:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that. In truth, drugs induce a temporary psychosis sometimes and it is easier for most people (incl. myself) to chalk it up to something temporary than to recognise it as a larger issue.
This is also because (for me) I have only experienced temporarily induced psychosis/schizophrenia through drugs, and do not deal with long term issues of schizoid disorders and other such extreme mental health problems.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:54:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Literally anything to back this up. I think you're trolling for the bleeding heart karma.
gooose ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm skeptical like you. What struck me as an odd coincidence was the obituary mentioned JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) as a donation option. He did mention his low blood sugar in the video -_- I'm really confused.
Wallace_Grover ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:30 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
RuPaul4President!.
Nick12506 ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 21:13:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't blame the Internet for your ex-friends mental health. He had a condition before he ever used the Internet. You should have gotten him help before all of this. I would even say it is your own fault had you knew about his unstable mind that he had.
LSmoove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I would even say it is your own fault had you knew about his unstable mind that he had."
Excuse my crassness, but what the fuck are you even trying to express here? He (the comment you replied to) is saying that he knew the man in the video and that his mental illness caused his death. He's not blaming the video or the Internet for that matter of causing his friends death. By giving this personal insight, he is adding to the conversation while attempting to raise awareness or at least bring up a talking point about how mental illness is so misunderstood in this country. I wasn't going to comment seeing as I didn't have much to add in terms of substance but your comment really bothered me because it's a trend I see in a lot of Reddit comments. Say something meaningful or at least semi relevant/clever, otherwise STFU
Nick12506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm was expressing that if he knew his friend was close to suicide he should have gotten him help instead of bitching about how the Internet was to blame. He was very clear in his comment when he said
This sentence shows he is blaming the Internet. While in reality it was the pig that molested the man with a mental illness that was on the brink of suicide. Had the friend knew about the mental health issue he should blame himself for allowing the friend to die.
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, It's my responsibility if someone close to me take's their own life. You sir are a dumb fuckstick. Go back to whatever parents basement you crawled out from.
Nick12506 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, why are you talking shit about the Internet? The Internet did not go up to him and tell him to kill himself, his mental issues caused him to do so. You trying to use the Internet as a scapegoat is sickening.
Caveman_ATX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All I said was that the video being recorded and put on YouTube was a reason that he gave before deciding to do what he did. I placed no blame on anything in my post other than that it was a mental brake down and that now the subject of an oh so funny .gif, that people have upvoted on is dead. I am not, nor have I blamed any person other than him for taking his own life. Anyway dude, he was my friend, he's dead, and seeing him in a .gif gave me the opportunity to raise the fact that Mental Illness is something we should take seriously. And it's also not my fault the cop wanted to feel his cock before they arrested him, and I do think it's funny that he is memorialized in "the Internet" as having a huge cock.
Motthebop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:17 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to say that I am really sorry for you loss. I can only imagine how much it must suck to see so many people on the internet mocking a loved one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't want to hurt the Internet's feelings would we? it might senselessly and shortsightedly attempt to trivialize your friends death to boost its own sense of worth.
Nick12506 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:02:35 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By making the Internet the bad guy ruins it for everyone. The Internet isn't going to go kill people, it's that persons fault. Not the Internet. Using the Internet as a tool to take the blame is wrong, it only can help people. How people use that knowledge is what is wrong.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source on the "Douglas Hughes" case since OP won't provide one. Sorry. I think people have the right to know.
CaptainObvious_1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't talk about his dick at all
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It should have.
IronMaskx ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fake
adeenuh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you really are a buzzkill.
Caveman_ATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I KNOW!
-iamverysmart- ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 18:00:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally".
mMounirM ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 18:33:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I too accidentally do something 6 times in a row.
IndyDude11 ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 19:18:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This. This right here. This hard thing. This long, hard bulge. What is this? What is it?"
surprised-duncan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:00:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh".
bogidyboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me just make a handjob-like gesture to make sure
ThatGirlRaaae ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:16:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I giggled for 5 min reading your caption lol
hank1154 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/tTc9cKQ
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:37:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Tinfoilpain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:47:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a friend
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't want an accidental discharge
docfate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You leave my mom out of this!
BelieveEnemie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:36:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The police manual has a battery of touch and taste tests used to determine the threat level of a concealed item in the groin area.
-iamverysmart- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:13:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean that they're allowed to???? I'm signing up to police academy!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Boner"
Kafary ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:18:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They really are hard on crime.
CarneAsadaSteve ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:46:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That moment when you realize you have small dick.
WIZARD_FUCKER ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 20:27:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha good luck finding it, coppers!
late_night_tacobell ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha best comment of the thread
immanetgodblues ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god this one killed me
Sicaliptico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/tinydick
ohyouresilly ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:33:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't sure how the guy would react, but I detect a bit of "why'd you stop?"
ice_cream_sandwiches ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:42:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His eyebrows raise up like, "woah, ok, we're doing this?"
sync-centre ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is democracy manifest!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:24:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! I see you know your memes well.
sync-centre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The officer did not want to receive his penis.
ranciddan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His succulent errect penis.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:17:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
do you wish to receive my limp penis????
Titsnicker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:28:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/KskYIbH.gif
svengalus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would you mind giving it a couple more tugs officer?
Numendil ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:02:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't tease me, bro!"
FretterFingers ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:20:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir what is in your pocket?"
"Wood."
"Why would you have wood in your.... oh."
connormantoast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:35:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It must've been hard for the other guy to keep a straight face.
Smgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was hard for everyone apparently.
Glorypants ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:27:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Video
Rain12913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That one is better because of the audio and because the dick was tucked up into waistband.
pantinizeblasd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:53:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/holdthemoan
UkrainianDragon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:57:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he's gonna be doing...sunglasses on...hard time
upshawam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's my penis"
Ceisien ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:26:15 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is relevant: http://files.explosm.net/comics/Rob/airport-security.png
rexwork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:49:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/suddenlygay
GigglingHyena ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:53:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What I really find funny is how he extends his hand out and open, like if it's contaminated despite the glove, and now he has to go burn his own hand or something.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:44:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was the "cop a feel" joke already made?
kioku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy being arrested like
Smgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alternately.
aijunkie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:32:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP need some context here... Shirtless and barefoot dude standing in a (hotel/office) lobby with a boner needs an explanation. The story must be good.
TANJustice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
jimthebear2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:36:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about copping a feel.
potatman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Three tugs or more is playing with it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:47:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:48:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop - What's this?
Suspect - That's my Penis.
Cop - OK. Then.
7stentguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the cops are here why do you guys still have erections. SMOKES lets go!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off Lahey.
CP_Scrill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would cost $50 at the strip club
appleforteacher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:13:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like the guy in cuffs tells the cop, "That's my dick" right before he stops.
_beardyman_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who thinks it odd he's half mast during arrest?
GoredonTheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was was having a wank when he was arrested, which would have killed his little man, then the sound of latex slapping got the little man part-way back to life?
joesatmoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's just...copping a feel
Leifkj ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:25:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He may have been fucked by the long dick of the law, but at least he got the courtesy of a reacharound.
Simalacrum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going into the video I was expecting to see some kind of video evidence of police abuse of power and sexual harassment.
Going out of the video... yeah, I would have probably made the same mistake in that situation if I was a cop. Did not expect such low hanging fruit.
rabidnz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:56:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky they patted him down because it turned out he was packin heat
izakk133 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:35 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The look on the cops face once he realizes is simply "God dammit, not again."
diblasio1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah yes I remember this one. Happened in Austin Texas. Dude totally lost it. Here's the original as I don't see it posted yet.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs
heechum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how he stretches his hand after trying to shake the dick off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like how everyone in this thread mentions this over and over.
mountainking ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:02:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a knife in your pants or are you excited by being in handcuffs.... Oh... the second.
JD397 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:52:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That cop
Naxthor ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:02:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why they wear gloves.
Mackin-N-Cheese ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In case they accidentally grab a cock.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:14:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they called 911 they said he was taking his clothes off. I think they wear gloves when handling naked people.
alphvader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:38:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It ain't gay if you wear protection.
kaztrator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They wear gloves so they don't corrupt the fingerprints on any evidence collected off the suspect.
ohyouresilly ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even with the gloves and the denim, that still isn't enough. That hand needs to be boiled.
giverofnofucks ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:06:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, cops are so fucking racist. Of course this is a white guy, they never give a brother a reacharound.
_Deep_thinker_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:32:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it wasn't loaded..
StoneGoldX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was when they started the search.
ranciddan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was loaded and it was goaded, but you can see that it wasn't choded.
Jim_Nills_Mustache ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:48:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you get wrestling-ragers, my high school coach said it was completely normal.
fuzinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:23:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He knew. He knew.
Pele2048 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had this happen to me a while back. I was making out with a "chick" and I thought it was her cell phone.
It wasn't a cell phone.
hitbythebus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many times did you squeeze it before coming to this conclusion, or did she come first?
Smgth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was her name L-O-L-A Lola?
Geekmo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:17:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So, what are you doing after the arrest?"
broco5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every once and a while I see a post make it all the way to the top and I think "You have chosen wisely Reddit". This is one of those posts.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost like this
xYezaH ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst moment when you find out your into kinky stuff.
HS27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:25:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me going into a music festival about 10 years ago. I had poured 500ml of Jรคgermeister into a Coke bottle and smuggled it in in my crotch. The security guy brushed firmly against it, paused for one horrified second and waved me on through. My ex girlfriends would never have made that mistake.
bales912 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a hardened criminal
MageeDisease ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He just wanted to cop a feel
KingInterweb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:09:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the top post. All of our collective thought brought together with the wonders of technology, and this is what humanity has voted most worthy of my attention. Vishnu bless the internet.
officermuffin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, I've been the feeler at times. In one event I'm patting a guy down after arrest and feel something solid down his leg. I was taken aback and said, "Hey, what's this?" He turned down and looked past his shoulder and said in no uncertain terms, "That's muh dick." It happens.
magyar231 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit, that was kind of hot.
mr_sneakyTV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's my penis"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:00:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's hot.
Sentient_Atom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL HUH? THEN WHAT IS THIS!?
"That would be my penis sir..."
customized_reddit_ex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the cop's head "Hello darkness my old friend"
ooopepper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cops mind, "Crap, unidentified object, could be a weapon. Wait a minute...oh, oh god, his is bigger T_T"
FastSloth6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they have just captured a hardened criminal.
malgoya ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:43:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must be getting arrested for destroying pussies
Mutt1223 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:19:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He held onto it for an awfully long time.
snoopwire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gay if you use a glove.
NotWorthPosting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:20:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the " " around accidentally.
I_Cant_Even_28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:25:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Weapons of mass erection
kusoru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next time on TIFU...
Any-Body ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was no accident.
jeeps350 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:02:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Title was off a bit..."accidentally"
tia_darcy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:20:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who the fuck gets a hard on while being arrested by the Police? If anything I would have thought it would make someone shrivel.
mntoak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's gonna be 25 bucks, sir."
Hella989 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just look at his hands when he finally realizes.
eldusto84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The literal definition of "copping a feel."
jamesheadlive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a cock or are you pleased to see me?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Keep going, you almost found it..."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he have a boner?
TooYoungForThisLoL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:49:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well he jacked the guy off, that's the nicest thing I've ever seen a cop do. Kidding of course.
Chillgar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who works in a prison and has to frisk prisoners all the time. He was frisking one guy, and grabbed something just about down to the guys knee. He asked him what he was hiding and the prisoner said "Nothing, that is my hook up." The guard made him drop his pants and saw the largest penis in his life. He told the guy why he should have gone into porn instead of crime, he would have been more successful.
AllezCannes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:53:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MFW I accidentally fulfilled some guy's fetish.
pigman818 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This makes me question "Why was he hard?"
alexbhood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a video somewhere online where something similar happened (I already looked for it and can't find it). A cop is frisking some guy and grabs his junk and goes "Sir, what is this. What do you have here?"
And the guy goes "Uhhh....that's my penis."
And the cop says "Oh! Sorry about that buddy."
Edit: Found it
17th_knight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am a corrections officer. Did this same thing last week when patting a guy down after AA.
"What's this?"
"My dick."
" Real funny what is it rea-"
Stares me dead in the eyes.
"Goddammit"
passive_redditor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I think I live there. Is this the Triangle in Austin?
RayLiottasCheeks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
welp...i just touched a boner
GhostofPacman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could say he was about too (wait for it) cop a feel
Real_Perez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally on purpose
Aritstol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally? He was jerking him off.
Thatoneguywhofailed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop: "Sir, what is this?"
Guy: "That's muh penis"
b_oarder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit wow haha
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:18:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The shame on the cop's face and the rising enjoyment on the perp's face are perfectly in synch.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
upvote for karma? ok jokes aside this police man has a job to do and checking to make sure thats not a harmfull object is a big part i assume therefore i cant blame hime having another tug haha.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Burman, check this perp for weapons!"
"Fuck you Simms, make the rookie."
"Hey Gomerdue. Yes you shitstain, make sure this guy doesn't have anything dangerous in his pants!"
patter patter patter...squeeze, frown, squeeze more
"Hey Cap, how old is your daughter?"
"16."
"Keep her the fuck away from this guy! "
devotchko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:25:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grabbed? More liked "jerked off"!
WashRotom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look at these home of sexuals!!!
thebeatsalive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:26:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"... You're free to go."
Geekfest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, fuck. At least no one is recording this..."
too_much_science ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/MSfXnA0.gif
foxaz0reaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that... No.. Wait...... Is that...... No.... God... No ... no that's not a sausage link in there..... Definitely not a sausage.
Sudestbrewer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:52:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Bob, this guy is packing"
cjbunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations.... you played yourself
generous_upvoter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna get off because of that...
Uwlaxecho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a fear boner?
buddybiter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He probably didn't have a boner before the grab.
Kinetic_Cucumber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy might be smuggling a stick'o'dynamite
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAH.... GAAAYYYYYYYY!
illinfinity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir you are under erect"
jherico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's NOT a gun, but I am definately NOT happy to see you.
Tehduckeggs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scratch and sniff eh?
SureValla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The awkward hand stretch makes this one
mindplaybyneo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao he was trying to take it out if his pocket
djseafood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We can't stand for this any more! Who's with me? #whitecocksmatter
guinader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Was that awkward for you? Cuz it was very awkward for me."
Inbefore121 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, He got pretty well acquainted with it didn't he?
butitdothough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he turned and said "no homo".
LedZebulon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The charge: Assault with a friendly weapon.
ReddMan182 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To protect and to serve.
SaltyAsFuckBro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, what are you packing?"
"Oh"
Assdolf_Shitler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This man is getting arrested, half naked, in a lobby, with cameras, and a man groping him and he still holds an erection. This man isn't a criminal, he is a god damn saint.
iUsedtoHadHerpes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry to deflate everyone's boners, but that's not a boner. You can clearly see something in his pants pocket earlier in the video, and it's in the same exact spot the cop was fondling.
BrayWyatt69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did anyone else keep trying to press play lol?
torREDDITOR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love the guy on the left, he is so embarrassed of the situation he just looks in another direction to act as if he wasn't apart of the awkwardness. Classic
TheCheeseGod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how some people say hello:
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-5o4lPlFgSi8/VVJ0Mhaib0I/AAAAAAACO0k/YRfuC1qlTJM/s1600/42.gif
bipbophil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the dudes packing
danrog92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's how you cop a feel.
Acetone_Junkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copping a feel?
Sonicmantis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does he take it so stoically? I'd probably let out a chuckle or two at the jerking.
tticusWithAnA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see it when he realizes "Oh....I can feel where this is going."
weezermc78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop trying to police a feel
gypsywhisperer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His face when he realizes it is a mixture of shame and being impressed.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I dare to ask why the man had a boner? Maybe it was just involuntary, because getting arrested is not a turn on that I'm aware of.
leetee91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha the other cop turns away and pretends he/she saw nothing
Idoitallthetime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't the dude like, say something!?!
limpinfrompimpin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That guys packing.... :/
dick_wool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That hand stretch at the end though lmao
TheVancouverist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he have a boner?
DjLaserShark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:23 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a dick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
McFardo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cops face though. He is honestly trying his hardest not to laugh.
Smokratez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A post about a man grabbing an erection sits on top of reddit. What a community.
FatFreddysCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he had the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.
Mister_the_Toad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop really should have rubbed it a while to make sure.
ThatIckyGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the few times the suspect has an accidental discharge instead of the cop.
steveryans2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work ain't all pulling over speeding cars and stopping perps from robbing banks. Sometimes you grab a guy's woody in the line of duty.
zhytwos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Asian, how's that even possible...
Maybe he uses that porn ad secret stuff.
Papapoorfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Honk honk
OldSkcool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:28 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a big fuckin dick
todaysthought ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:51 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She watched the video. Accidentally muttered, "Fuck me". Husband said, "What was that, dear?" "Um, nothing."
Diluxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:40 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most awkward thing to do is pretend it wasn't awkward in that situation you just have to own it, pull your hand off and laugh even comment "im impressed man I thought you were carrying a black jack or something, now off jail."
gethro87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:20 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a corrections officer at a max. Saw a new guy do this during a pat down. Grabbed a hold of it too. Literally looked just like this .. Poor guy hasn't lived it down.
He was like "wtf is this !?" The con was like "my joint! Keep going fag". Fuck we died lmfao.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that's a gun in your pocket or are you....oh....ewww
Erbs4daze20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally *
RICH_PENZOIL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why does he have a boner in the first place?
need-a-username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cut him some slack, those things can and have been used to assault police officers. http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=78;t=001563;p=1
GFandango ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't touch my peenus
TheAngryCelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:52 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I died at the guy's eyebrow raise.
Z1stCNTRYdgtlBOY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:01 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy almost looks sad when the cop stops touching him
TooYoungForThisLoL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
efflicto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bigdickproblems
MrDoradus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The officer shortly after the sausage inspection incident: "Nobody saw this, it must be my lucky day."
The officer shortly after going on Reddit today: "FML."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing the title specified that it wasn't a woman's boner. Imagine the SJW comments in that thread.
diablofreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
#HugeBonersMatter
goofball_jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy was packing heat.
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ )
kickfliptwist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Looks like someone's gonna do...
puts on shades
Hard time."
Sir_Salts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sacklivesmatter
axonMagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
XD +
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's totally a porn premise.
AtL_eAsTwOoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He kind of looks around to make sure no one else caught that but nope...
ShmooelYakov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
X-post to /r/Good_Cop_Free_Donut/ ?
easytherechief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was pretty enthusiastic. A few more tugs and it might have had a different ending.
climberman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:57:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny how the other cop realized and then he started playing dumb.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got a little tune for this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRdoKW1CsxE
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone link to the gif of this same thing but the dude interrupts the cop: "that's my penis."
Zero_teh_Hero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't act like you're not impressed."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact.
WoodchucksChuckWood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, one touch not enough?
Bonch_and_Clyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh what have you got here. Damn that's on there pretty tight. Maybe if I just rub it back and forth... wait a minute... oops. Awkwardly looking away is the only way to deal with this
CantaloupeCamper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh well.... sorry.... and congratulations....
shadowspree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must feel a right penis
KXS_TuaTara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a second...
AnIce-creamCone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's My dick."
"Oh."
GloriousGardener ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cops are here why do you have erections?!
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
GloriousGardener ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its a trailer park boys quote.
Canadaisfullgohome ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:12:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what they were going to fuckin do with those.
sobeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder where this occurred. Shit like this always happens here in Miami or South Beach.
grezgorz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
parlarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"And what do we have here?!?"
"My dick."
Anadrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alright check his pockets...found something...what the hell...feels soo...familiar...oh my fuck...fuck fuuuck...did anyone see?
Half_Dead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL AWKWARD!
boredatwork920 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What is this? It's so familiar yet completely new "
BrandonMarlowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He even holds his hand away from his body like he was going to get cooties from it.
Don_chingon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is a rocket in my pocket
Half_Dead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Internal monologue: I found a gun. Oh no wait, it's a penis. No wait, that can't be right. Well what is it then? Feels familiar. Oh wait, yeah it's he's penis. Look away, look away. Don't laugh.
ladybekkicarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is all kinds of awkward
stonefry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
RockyTopBruin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah a nice old fashioned!
largehoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Firmly grasp it
Tonezinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:18:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I knew what he was getting arrested for. Don't want to say I would feel up someone who is being arrested for human trafficking but that guy is kinda sexy
GongoozleGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
having a boner while getting arrested?
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
GongoozleGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'm a chick. thanQ for clearing that up.
KraftyKrazyKool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The heat of his meat is inversely proportional to the angle of his dangle.
tikotanabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What... what is this? Press press Hmmm it's firm... Press press Oh god no, what have I done? Is anybody looking? Did anybody see me? Okay I'm pretty sure nobody saw me grabbing this guy's dick.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hot Cops are taking things to another level
ViridianCovenant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The dude just has a firm respect for authority.
Electroguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hes packing heat!
To-Pimp-A-Butterfree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was basically a full-fledged OTPHJ
hot_stuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for this guy. The cops are giving him the shaft.
MulderD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure when the suspect looked down he also said, "no homo".
Supahflii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely did it the hard way.
Koelen3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
selfish_liberal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We laugh at the cop for touching it, but why did he have a boner in the first place?
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir what is this?"
"My cooocckkk"
NyRangers09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Getting friskey are we?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It that a gun in your pants, or are you happy to see me?"
SeekersWorkAccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"... thats a penis..."
steps back, reevaluates situation
"fuck."
itdoctor89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
waooo amazing.lolz
Brewe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First dates are always awkward.
rit56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hie reaction is great. "I hope nobody saw that"
Lan777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a dollar for every time a cop thought my boner was contraband, I wouldnt be in prison right now
d-law ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This pretty well illustrates the unease between cops and private dicks.
MonsieurKnife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dirk Diggler.
xEazy420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that in Wolverhampton?
TyQuil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes aside, I would die if I accidentally did this to someone.
undead_whored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What sort of trouble has Huckleberry Finn got himself into now?
Redeeming_xXDeanXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
SPKmnd90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't just grab it, he straight up strokes it.
sonicmasonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's 6 times this week Jimmy!"
"That's a lot of sausage play in a week Danny"
kevin_k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah accidentally
shark2pus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Eromyah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's rape
_jmcv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a big penis
PCRenegade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A real hardened criminal.
Shkotz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he get the boner after he was apprehended?
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
Cognitivespacecadet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A little rub and tickle, now that's government service!
danfrom83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does Man even have a boner while getting arrested? is he turned on? Sicko!
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
danfrom83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh, i see i see..
Daniel-Tigers-Dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally did that once.... Ego takes a pretty big hit as soon as you realize what you just did. Haha
FetusSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a fearection
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Eddie Murphys Raw. WEEEEOOOOWWW. PULL OVAH. PULL OVAH. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS?
BahamianRhapsody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:33:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eeeeeek, a penis!!!
SarinationX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My question is, how/why the fuck did this guy have a boner while being arrested.
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
SarinationX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough
Hannoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copping a feel
POTATO_OF_MY_EYE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're gonna need a permit for that
gruesomeflowers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy the ocular assessment if anyone saw how gay he just was.
emaciated_pecan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn that was aggressive
whathehellbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shake it once, thats fine. Shake it twice, thats okay. Shake it three times, you're giving him a handjob!!
Kahmahniwannaleia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the face of the new friendlier police department?
Indie__Guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's this... Oh it's a dick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TANJustice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
tompomp98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that can be known as a 'cock glock' haha
stating-thee-obvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this guy is bad. BAD TO THE BONE.
StandHampton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boner while in handcuffs...tells you what that guy gets off on
TANJustice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
Masta-_-shot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lmao looked like he was going to jerk him off for a second
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never seen them so big."
alexxerth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you even say after that, it seems weird to just say "Sorry".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTMf-oMm3x8 What else can you say? Pockets and up in the waistband at around 12oclock are prime places to store a handgun, I'm sure it happens all the time.
mellul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that look on his face when he realises...
BrokenBrain666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The looks on both their faces when the real tugging began was great...
deegr8one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was itchy, he was helping him out
me2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
: )
Novuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does one stay hard during something stressful like getting arrested?
TANJustice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, erections are a common stress response!
Novuna ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:49:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's false.
Stress is a sympathetic response.
More info: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK11157/
Ergo, stress does not facilitate erection.
YaGottadoWhatYaGotta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stress boners are a thing, that or the cop made him excited, getting in trouble also gives some boners, odd right? Humans are fascinating.
wishiwascooltoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:39:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Cocked and loaded just for you Mr. Ociffer."
CARDB0ARDEAUX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to think Shirtless said "Keep going. Almost finished."
DTOM827 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear Boner
speenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Forensicunit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Just rookie things'
mrtitkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
k1dbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was really cranking that thing
TheBadGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/instantregret
Odds-Bodkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's a hell of a sidepipe the guy is rocking, to be fair
smoothtrip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Their customer service has exponentially improved since 2015.
Corky_Butcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you've seen the full video, this throws up so many questions.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Gee Officer, thanks. Am I gonna have to pay you now or what?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That moment when he realizes, "I'm gonna have to shoot that cameraman."
con77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet the fellahs down to the station house got a good laugh at that one.
shaycay14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron Hernandez is working as a cop now?
rosickness12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To SERVE and protected.
Beardedben ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soooo who cares to guess how he ended up with an erection and shirtless during an arrest at a coffee shop
con77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suspect named Thor. Cause that's how he leaves em and hes swinging the big hammer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at work, and there are a lot of risky clicks in this thread.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that guy has a thing for a men in uniform... Why else would he have a boner while being arrested?
TheF0CTOR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
BistroSkipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he have a boner though
Callmebobbyorbooby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to wonder what kind of person gets a boner from getting arrested. My dick would be up inside of me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least there's video evidence of there being no ill intent, right?
twoeightsixU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes me a saaaaaaad panda.
starman888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
almost 666 comments
Lazychestnutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fully torqued
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when getting arrested gives you a boner
MAXMEEKO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol ive seen this video before and never notice that part
illini211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice little fear boner kids
PussyWhistle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/CK16HZz.gifv
lipplog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why the gloves.
franklesal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's one hell of a dick!
bripatrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that the guy getting arrested was like "Eh."
PM_ME_ur_animu_waifu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Best laugh all month
imnotAmitt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
wubwubwomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's packing some heat.
BackDoorBootyBandit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear Boner?
cruisinboozy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hes mashin it
TeranTheHuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ten seconds late he goes for another grab!
IWantToBeARedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Funny!
validnamemotherfucke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Freedomluvr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was watching the TSA for a second :)
26TwentySix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must be the weapon
dead_rising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ups
Oedipus_rekts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something, hardened criminal.
Sprankster2992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know that I always have a boner when I get arrested.
OneOfTheFishers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun or are you just happy to see me?
LuckyEk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing because I've done the same thing! I was working doors at a nightclub and had to do the pat downs. Me:Feeling bar in jeans pocket "Oh hey, what's this?" Him: "That's me"
LOL! So embarrassing!
ParameciaAntic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't that be "accidentally"?
Dr_Purple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shitty intro for a gay porno? No? Damn thats awkward....
mat_b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this too many times.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
WalkTheMoons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you give a dog a bone...
hollygorightree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"...
BUTTHOLE_TALKS_SHIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this one too.
dwaltalon72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah the old Crime Boner
No shirt, no shoes, full service
EbenezerP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fear boner! look it up, its areal thing
iamPause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bigdickproblems
Guitar46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When someone says "what's reddit?" ....you show them this.
jjonez18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"That's all me."
xepre81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
bonnissimo :)))
MerryTreez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ain't he just a regular Dick Tracey!
rebbit_007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a weapon of ASS DESTRUCTION
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what I expected
TheClavster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't erect and he actually ended up being arrested for assault with a dead weapon.
xepre81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He s got cocked cock....oops just a cockzilla
ukcrazian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pickler - Tickler !
Rap-t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey that's my penis!
JasonBornLoser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Post delivers thx
UndraftedFreeAgent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To serve and erect.
shouttag_mike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:04:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
captshady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video of another
KevinPaul06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I guess he did not drop the "gun" eh?
itwasntme19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop's face once he realized what it was.
phenomenalGenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's my knife officer that can stab and gives life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Piggy piggy piggy, can't you see, everything ya doin' right now is arousing me...
motor_boating_SOB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he's getting a HARD time back at the station!!
subfighter0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here's another one that's pretty funny
xTrue57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I... Is that a scruffy Joaquin Phoenix?
Not_Seriously ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typical. As he's white, while he's being arrested he gets a handjob.
caross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That made me happy.
MyLeftShoeIsRight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How can you be excited while being attested, i dont get it.
BeardedT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bound to happen if you're in law enforcement. Better than getting killed by some asshole.
WalterWhiteRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tuck it up.
Rarunrarrar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking around: "Nobody saw that."
Javs24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
aqua1816 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy being fondled didn't even warn the cop or tell him "hey that's my cock". Lol.
Beef_Lightning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Trevor Phillips?
Zatch_Gaspifianaski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's obviously packing heat.
norsurfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
a_fan_of_grump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop accidentally yet aggressively plays with mans boner during arrest.
Hiphop-Marketing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
Mr_Wut8794 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Officer that's my cock"
"Oh-- well, uh... Erm.... Congratulations"
TweakedNipple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'accidentally' stopped at the third tug
Nuwanda84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Upvote_To_The_Left ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why does this guy have a boner while he's being arrested?
ChessClubChamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it's from the video I'm thinking of - this dude is high on... something strong... and was previously running around hitting things and screaming incoherently... I'm guessing this was a side-effect of the drug?
Upvote_To_The_Left ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i'll have what he's having
theracistsouth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
get your god damn booger hook of the bang switch!!!!
rickst3rr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's this right here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Mlch97EQDA
queezap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glock or Cock? sounds like a xxx game show to me.
rhyno0688 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:47 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must have a fear boner.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like this dude I hiked the Appalachian trail with. He went by gator and was from ft Myers Florida area. Anyone confirm? Haha
Politicalcancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hrm, What are you hiding here? Oh, just a horsedick."
thehalfnerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:06 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
#WhiteDicksMatter
stanhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"what's that in his pocket? ... wtf it's hard-soft kind of like a boner . Can't be his dick, it's very big... what is it- holy shit godamnit fuck! hope nobody noticed that !"
savbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hate to be a buzz kill but from earlier parts in the source he had stuff in that pocket (non-phallic) so I'm going to have to dismiss this as sensationalism and not true.
MeateaW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was at school, In year 5 or so, just after tennis training, a bunch of us were sitting around and one of us had a boner, and was talking about it a lot.
Another kid not involved in the conversation comes up, we point out the boner, and he's like: nah that isn't a boner it's a tennis ball and proceeds to grab it.
The face on that cop is very familiar.
Hooostin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
haha this is the funniest gif I've seen in a long time. The look on the guy face after he realized he was fondling the guys dick
maritaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only think of this.
Heavenly-alligator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah "accidentally".
hondahardtail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well I got to take you in, but hey heres a consolation over the pants HJ"
Artasianist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think in the cop job anything happens during the duty. They saw everything
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when they cum on you?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's got one hell of a fetish
ShawnBootygod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminiscent of this
luciddreamer21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a fear boner!
Cheetoh_Addict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can....not.....un.....touch
Tsskies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the man have a boner? That's the question.
Efrajm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They both liked that.
UgandanWarlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he say "no homo" afterwords?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nick is so uncomfortable:
willdogs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PLOT TWIST: Its a fake penis filled with coke
Gilboboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?
DanRicho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, hello, what's going on here then?" Oh.
bathroomstalin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss the days of parachute pants, when men sought to preserve some semblance of mystery :(
Darth_FluffyStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well its official everyone. I have a small penis.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he do anything illegal?
Djet3k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
start 2016 of with a cringe fest
Vonbakker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just copping a feel.
Poeticyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha
killerthebig360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop 1: he's got coke Cop 2: you said he's got cock Cop 1: sure...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Full video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs
koteuop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perp "accidentally" enjoyed being patted down, so the cop "accidentally" gave him a happy ending.
RJStrasser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He steps away like, "did I just do that?" and then he nods at the end as to say, "okay, yup. I'm gay."
RedxEyez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I'm ever being arrested and have a knife in my pocket, I'ma just say it's Ma Dick.
MexiMeatSD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
ChaozCoder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's like, oh what is that, might be a penis? Checks. Yes, it's a penis.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could have sworn we legalized that.
J-Money90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This happens to me every time I'm sportin side pole when I get arrested.
Goomich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wierdest boner 2016?
Raydot_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His hand stretch really shows how repulsed he is after his realization
IamtheDenmarkian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/agofgeZ.gif
Mhman0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the fear boner
growingtent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That awkward moment when the cop realizes that penises can be large enough to take up that much space /r/bigdickproblems
awkwardsong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks cute though
Eyehopeuchoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats was more like groping, not grabbing. Haha
linusrauling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Appropriate
thefuzzyfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huckleberry Finn all growed up.
krucz36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's some Ray J level hog there
gaytechdadwithson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eddit Murphy from "Raw". "what is this??? re: SF Cops
sfgreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He had the Farva look
summerthan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that's frisking
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did he have a boner as he was getting arrested tho?
m703324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote because eeeverybody shoud see this cute cop copping
Grow_Some_Food ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can see the moment when the suspect informs the officer of his pork sword grabbing, because both officers do the lackadaisical arm swing like "ah fuck anyways"
Shishakli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HE'S PACKING!
LovesaNewfie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop: Sir, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Dude: ummmm, yeah, sorry..... I'm just happy to see you......
Baby-punter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He really went after that dick!
OneOfADozen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Alrighty then, that's enough 'copping' for one day."
misterlargebeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
sonsoflarson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh is that a Cucumber in your pocket or you just happy to see us! Happy to see us I see....
cupcakessuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What..how...wow....where...so many questions. ..
Swordbringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
PhreakOfTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not an accident. It is quite deliberate, although not sexual in nature.
Plenty of people try to 'hide' things by taping it to their junk.
aircoft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop: "What's that?"
Man: "That's my penis."
brodoyouevenscript ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he have a boner.
Witzler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not gay as long as he says "no homo"
FNALSOLUTION1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop thought it was the hammer.
twitchosx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
Blaze_Cook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Is their a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
UberSARS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow i watched that whole video when it came out. and didnt notice the boner. glad he got his blood sugar figured out. lol
WaVancouver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cops face when he realizes its a dick...lmfao
jackhackett80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real question here is why did he have a 'boner'?
wolfinwhitevan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering he had a boner while being arrested, I'm surprised getting felt up by a cop didn't make him blow.
Issung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this happened to a woman... REEEEEEE
Shiveron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn he really got a feel for that thing too.
RMJ1984 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Concealed weapon.
DopeTrack_Pirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bro that's dick"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you could say he was getting a... Justice Boner. I'll show myself out..
RPShep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First thought: "Oh no! He's packing heat"
Final thought: "Oh no. He's packing heat"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting him to just brush his hand over it and then realize what it was but he really went at it.
walterblanco1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Handcuff and spank me baby
KaldisGoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, this is exactly why we should be able to film the police.
Scrimshank22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ikr. Think of how much Karma will be lost!
panzerkampfwagen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not accidentally. He purposefully grabbed it to pat him down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the intro to every gay porno where there's a cop involved.
karmeleon_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Marty/Morty from the future is relapsing
ChrisNomad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my rifle, this is my gun...
Lif3_5uck5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidently"
billbraskeyjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude must have a cop/handcuff fetish.
DollarStoreBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have the right to remain erect if you can't maintain one, one will be obtained for you. Any boners I get can and will be held against you.
darkjedidave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:51 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
SomeFreeTime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's it. When I'm governor I'm authorizing three hours of mandatory handless, boner detection training for all policemen.
RoyalDog214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
COP GRABS MANS COCK!
BREAKING NEWS!!!
ghilawn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FEAR BONER
condensedpoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, do you have any weapons on you? What is this in your pocket, sir? What is this in your pocket - oh dear God"
Clear_Runway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
does this guy have an arrest fetish?
domainrange04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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Thork420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Show off!
skiman224 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was no accident.
Smgth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/lWyQL1y.webm
Paradise5551 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well then.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
backs up
looks around making sure no one saw it
loomdog1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
xwithnumbers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kinky
weelchairhurdler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just another day at Reno PD
StRyder91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of this
grooovyturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He knew
Drama_Derp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shake it once, that's fine. Shake it twice, that's okay. Shake it three times, your violating civil liberties...aaaagin.
paully_54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:22 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok did I see the perps eyebrows raise while buddy is fondling him? Lmao I think I saw that. Not sure why that makes it even funnier somehow.
TYLER_PERRY_II ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How can someones dick be so big?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
johyongil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
EDIT: Spelling
leanaconda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But why did he have a boner ?
Scrimshank22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now thats what I call a public service.
bcolbyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:34 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would've went in for a seventh time....just sayin
SHURIK01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grabs boner: "From now on... this is uhhh.... a federal property!"
Hawksallday3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did have a boner during an arrest Lol.
Quireman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He was shirtless and shoeless also, who knows what he was up to before the cops barged in?
Hawksallday3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well that explains it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh God, yes, use the handcuffs on me....."
SpaldingSmails ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing accidental about that.
thebuccinator182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy looks a bit like Joaquin Phoenix.
thurken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it fair to show the face of the suspect like that? Can't it be super negative for him?
Javad0g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you right now, the last place my boner is going to be if I was being arrested is out. I would be so scared you couldn't coax the turtle head out of the shell no matter what you did.
Pretty sure my balls would backtrack and find their per-pubescent home as well.....
projects8an ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We call that an over the pants HJ
Schnitzngigglez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have def done this. Dude response was "that's all me, yo"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hawk135 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop: Is that a weapon or are you just happy to see me?
Suspect:...
Cop: Oh...
haragoshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like Eddie Murphy in Raw
sterling_mallory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that time Vernon Davis got tackled by his dick.
vikramdesh1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is most definitely the top cock.
randomentity1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But it wasn't hard...
col_clipspringer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ah the good ole Austin Police Department
IntaglioSnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a rocket in your pocket?
kitch2495 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remind me of that video where the cop is patting down a guy and feels something and says "what's that" and the guy getting searched goes "that's my penis"
thegreystash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/penispatdown
nameless555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WTF
wantsneeds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
note to self: conceal handcuff key under cock
Artilbi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to god the officer looks exactly like the SRO from my school...
sketchynerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This should be on /r/gentlemanboners
181Cade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so I'll ask. Why does he have a boner?
Stryker218 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They see a bulge they have to check because it could be a weapon. Its unfortunate but i bet it happens more often then you think. Jus remember..someone right now is asking a inmate to spread his butt cheeks for him to search for any weapons so it could be worse. Lol
foolish-rain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Why yes. I have been a very naughty boy."
yobsmezn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much cringe
OneFootInTheGravy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guy's got a hard on for crime
PBRstreetgang_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
awkwarddddd.
ThePublicFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He had so much time to realize it was a dick...
Imabucsfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the cop like "Whoa". Probably jealous.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHHAHAHA! Awkward....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't he know in that situation you must immediately get on your knees and suck?
Legoboy08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Made me think of this video
https://youtu.be/CAepItFDXc4
"What is this?"
"...that's my penis"
midgetherpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Got any sharps?
supaswag69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
michyum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that penis is big
g21122112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not a stimulant related case, unstimm-dick
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey Mike, him out. It was said that he had a big weapon in his pocket."
"Which pocket? This one in the back? This one in the..."
"What weapon did you find Mike? Why are you so quiet, Mike?"
"That... That... That is a penis."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:49 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This needed a NSFW tag? lol.
runningray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copy "accidentally" grabs mans boner during arrest. FTFY
Blaze321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
top kek.
icec0der ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
accidentally
greenbrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That dude's gonna do some hard time.
LiveAnotherDave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
kinda looks lke he's saying "that's my boner"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:35 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is gay for making this go to the front page
Bibbster94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More importantly why does he have a boner whilst being arrested?
something86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he used protection. Latex is latex, never leave home without your protection.
DrZed400 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dam wish my penis was like that
mammoth369 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
guy probably plays "police officer" all the time in the bedroom
thats my fetish
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea right. Every man knows a penis when he touches one.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of the rare good cops!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a unicorn!
MultiAli2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's guys dick is actually pretty nice.
Quireman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how to cop a feel
linklore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. Nice penis
Nova_Jake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, the instant regret reaction is priceless.
coerciblegerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
goalstopper28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That guy just increased his bad boy image. If getting arrested wasn't enough to do that.
stevehillage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wish there was audio..
_AlreadyTaken_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's really happy to be arrested
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is he erected at this situation? That's the real question..
mrnagrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
NakenTame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
HBWSucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhhhhhh
Bobthemime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If that is accidentally, then I have been wanking wrongly my entire life.
modsrliars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can this count as sexual assault?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think so. A dong of that size is technically a weapon legally spekaing
xkcdismyjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coppin' a feel
Twice_And_A_Half ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta hand it to the guy, probably doesnt blow over well.
InertiaInMyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not a banana, he's just happy to see us."
justin914 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hawt!
internetsinspanish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah this gave me a boner immediately. that otter guy has a nice bod
La_Guy_Person ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we need body cams!
Degru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you can hide a pistol by putting one of those penis-enlargement dildo things on it and sticking it in your pants. Interesting.
trixtopherduke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your boner lasts more than 4 hours, call the cops and get it groped.
ActualKrillin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:16 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"a few more minutes of this and i'm gonna get mad"
drinu276 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how to format: https://youtu.be/hqyhojksn4U
DrRubButtWink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The guy didn't seem too quick to correct him.
piglip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
another one
ikilledtupac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Renk0b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Diggerinthedark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
love how you can see his entire thought process:
KingEnemyOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:38 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He pinches it a bit kinda erotica like
BigHipDoofus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No man, if you have an erection that lasts more than four hours CALL YOUR DOCTOR! Not the police.
TheINTL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To protect and serve
obeseLadyGaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with nips that could cut diamonds.
sansaset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dudes packin heat for sure
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely an awkward moment for all of them, notice the pause after he realizes what he was grabbing on?
Ryan_Se ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:18 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such an uplifting romantic tale.
xhlgtrashcanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The gif does not do this justice. I need to hear that sweet sweet interaction.
Edit: OP posted it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidently" Three strokes is hardly an accident
FORHATS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he was trying to cop a feel
theartchitect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Processing Procedure
Mark316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally."
Apachiie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the penis song: https://youtu.be/7snesL5zowc
MyOldNameSucked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:04 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope not a gun just happy to get arrested.
notyouagain2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
EastvsWest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
m0atzart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear Boner! - Rafi
ReapersOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"IM NOT GAY!"
kevlarisforevlar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So like...if you had to say how long a good penis was...for a friend or something...how long would it be.
turkmileymileyturk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never laughed like this before. The sigh after realizing his job sucks is priceless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DaFuuu? Freaking scarf
Illiterate_Scholar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does the man have a boner to begin with?
grape_jelly_sammich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
huh.
honestly thought this was going be a repost from some 5+ years back of a black kid going through the same thing. that vid had audio though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That man must be insane to be like that while being arrested
maltarocker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he had his gloves on
pwake21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Fucking Dom Hemmingway!!!
mr_sneakyTV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Discount Double Check
J8787 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did he have a boner ! Haha
botxpiol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get your hands off my penis!
mcmerlin13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He knew what he was grabbing, he's a cop you don't think he's touched a dick. Shame shame this police brutality stuff is getting out of hand... or in this case "in hand "
keyboardname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7xFbeGcr7s
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's up for a stiff sentencing I reckon
synthesizer96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I am safe from that happening if I am ever body searched. I mean, my dick is where is it usually is. Not at my pockets.
-CoolDude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a smooth playa right theya
remember92thetime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cop copping a feel
SeriousMichael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At that point they're legally required to give the guy a reach-around.
poorandaging2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
again?
smoki72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:50 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't stick your dick in crazy , finish school , save your money ....ugh .... fuck .. too much ... never mind
Excelerater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oops scuse you
liegesmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Accident my ass I call homo.
leafjerky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's just say that guy was really packing ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
whopperman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Accidentally'
AngryCarGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arresterection.
kuyamik3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5 more minutes of this and I'm gonna be mad...
25teratera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:55 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look out he's loaded!
IndyJones88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/2eZSKen1Vgc
TnelisPotencia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck living that one down mr. bad touch.
thegr8rambino13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:23 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol why would he have a boner
heebythejeeby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like a bit of petty crime to get hard. No need for cialis for me! No sir! Just a quick purse snatch and I'm good to go!
reptileseat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:28 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hehe what you got a snake in your pocket?"
"That's not a snake"
BaconOpinion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It happens
disguisesinblessing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:15 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yup. This guy's packin'. .... oh."
TheMemoryofFruit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Noisy gif :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:45 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he have a hard on while in cuffs?
mackinder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TBH, it was just a dick when he first started. It was a boner when he finished.
CL4YTON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy does the same thing
https://youtu.be/t6S8dzXHbe0
skinnergy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I came here to post this.
Actual_Dragon_IRL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"
Fuck_Me_If_Im_Wrong_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:05 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least the Officer gave him a reach around while fucking him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"thats my dick"
Nevermind04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop and get frisk just got a lot more frisky.
Stkrdknmiblz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Finally, a video that all cops (except one) are glad made it onto the internet.
tamo_gabo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah.. accidentally ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
embaked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Glock? Cock? Oh shit. Flexes muscles in a manly manner. ''So whaddya think of the game last night?'' ''i reckon they could go all the way.''
SomeoneHasThis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:53 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
something something penal system
analrapistfunche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Erh, it looks like he 'accidentally' gave him a full handjob.
Xstasy14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That dudes fetish for handcuffs is pretty strong.
AdilB101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a-n-ye-yup. Yep. No-yeah. [Groans] that's a dick.
Its_Cory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me just make sure tho...
vladmirmcdoogle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He really got in there
Cheezyb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My question is who the hell is rock hard during a physical encounter with the police?
laScooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:54 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A shakedown handy over denim... did cruel and unusual come back in?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's not a weapon, but it could definitely hurt you if I used it wrong"
shomyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:13 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Truly WTF, bc of actual arrest and not killing the suspect.
griffin12345678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yea dude, he's white.
countchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:11 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! Sir Police man looks like he doesn't know what to do with his hand. ^ I wonder what came next? Did the person getting arrested file some kind of legal case for sexual harassment?
xtremechaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was not a boner.
IslamicShibe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can feel the embarrassment from watching this gif
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:08 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ, he damn near finished him
SuaveRico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/InstaRegret
cyclicaltyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a cock in my rarri
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That must have been hard for them? Did I miss that boat already or is that new?
Hilarious_Haplogroup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't touch that..."
Fairways_and_Greens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The little thing the cop does with his hand is subtle yet priceless.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop on the left: "Is that a weapon? Oh it's his.. Woah, hey, look away."
renino25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coulda sworn this was going to be the video
Digitek50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've watched it 12 times
darkblah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Careful with that might be assault with a deadly weapon
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that was no accident
elwin_ransom_lewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:51 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/hqyhojksn4U
-Bashamo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
first thing I thought of......lmao
elwin_ransom_lewis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Killed me when I first saw it
Jackson530 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He steps to the side like "wasn't here....fuck my job"
darknightjoker22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:12 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well hello!
5566hoyang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like watching porn.
Enigmutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:43 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No harm, no foul.
echopot88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cseyferth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:31 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I too late?
http://i.imgur.com/tTc9cKQ.gif
CL4YTON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really made me think of this
https://youtu.be/lgX9_NxlzTE
govtwtchdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:27 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happens a lot. Unfortunately. Source: work with cops.
scaldinghotcarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:39 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear boner
CosmicCharm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:36 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Thats my dick"
Binzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!"
dyingfast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:53 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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spin0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:21 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-Sir, what are you doing?
-Adjusting your willy. It's out of whack. There you go.
w1gster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:18 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It must have been an exciting ordeal for the guy getting arrested to be in that state.
bma5298 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:13 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The cops expression at the end Is priceless
iparkcars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FEAR BONER
tjciv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would have no other choice them to say "nice" after I did that if I was that cop, and I'm a straight male.
radherring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arrest boner.
rezaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:14 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is he being arrested for?
tornreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:37 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shake it off.
Epiksiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
severe forehead damage
PUPiDDAJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote just for size because size does matter
irou- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
damn. and you'd think it would've shrunk a bit with being arrested and all.
Orriblekunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:32 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this man had a boner both those cops would be dead
Redicafunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:59 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Siiiir!
Pyrex_prophet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's no accident...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what he did (don't care), but I want to meet him.
GranTurismosubaru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:09 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhhhhhh Haaaaaaaaa ha haaaaa!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:41 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to say it...the guy being searched is really hot.
dostevsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:02 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't even apologize! What a dick...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:46 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Uh, That's my penis." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eZSKen1Vgc
worldsshittiesttroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that little hand stretch at the end won't make the fact you rubbed a dude off go away.
quarter_to_ride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:25 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Coming soon!! Dick belt!!
v2Occy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:10 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That other cop that looks away like he didnt see anything, lol.
TheFuckerUpperOfShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
isn't this gif the end from the video where he wigs the fuck out in the lobby and has a public freakout?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do not do drugs unless you are in a safe environment. I'm more scared for the drugged out his mind male around a bunch of scared bystanders who know little about drugs than i am the females recording the incident talking to the police. I'm happy the police didn't freak out on him too bad. The womens narative on the phone almost escalated the situation. I wish there were paramedics present though, he seemed pretty gone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hilarious
hooloovooblues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, he really grabbed that boner.
evil_fungus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:49 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Officer, second date."
FruckBritches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
boner?
maddyzeemak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just happy to see you!
BadJuju8274 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:42 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YcaDv6ZdxuM
markevens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:50 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That moment when he realizes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:29 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I would...
theHangedGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:04 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was a pretty long feel. A little too long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So for five years I worked in a prison as a corrections officer. I truly wish reader that I could tell you that this never happened to me. If your dream is to be a cop or work in my field in which you will need to pat people down be ready to grab a fist full of trouser snake.
zombieghoul2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:47 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha bet he was like erm I think you should stop grabbing that or we going to be in abit of a sticky situation
fagotblower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/gallery/tTc9cKQ
StrikerXZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
tbulls123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:16 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He played with it for quite a few seconds. hahaha.
badula-yama-yama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:34 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
would that be consider sexual assault ?
Snooor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is someone's dream. Lol
AirJumpman23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:26 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i thought it was going to be the one with the black guy that was sagging. whats this?. my dick. oh
xAsianSwag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:58 on January 14, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed way too hard
allmotorEGhatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5/7 best hand jibber I've seen this year.
b0ltzmann138e-23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should buy him dinner first
RugBurnDogDick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looking for a concealed weapon
iama_F_B_I_AGENT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seems like something that would happen to Raffi in The League
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that? That's just my murder boner.
Philtoriouz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
lespaul0169 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/pEsZkTTgydc Relevant
BeautifulHela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the first touch was investigation, the sixth was appreciation.
IllerEagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would be better if it was a female cop.
Bernie_Beiber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:12 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I witnessed a buddy have the exact same thing happen to him. The cop was asking "What's this? Huh? Whatcha got?" and my friend said with a total straight face "Officer, if you keep doing that in about five seconds I'm going to owe you dinner." The cop froze, with his hand on my buddy's cock while he looked at his face and tried to figure out what he had just said. His partner started belly laughing and the cop jerked his hand away and says "what.. the... FUCK..." got mad as hell, just spun around and walked back and got in his squad. I said to the laughing cop "So I guess we're free to go?" (I knew him) and he waved us off, he couldn't catch his words. We got in the car and I was like "GOD DAMN, JOHN HOLMES" as we drove away.
The best part is that a few weeks later my buddy was sitting at a bar and the cop walked in, off-duty. He sits down, orders a beer, looks around. Sees my buddy, makes eye contact, sets his full beer down, leaves. I guess he hasn't been back to that bar since, and this was in 2003. Wisconsin is fucked.
DaGranitePooPooYouDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viagra is a hell of a drug.
mugsybeans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:33 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting this.
frostybubbler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:26 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I think about it, cops don't nearly get paid enough
determinedforce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:24 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think he thought he found his baton.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"C'mon man, I was nearly there!"
NiceVersa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:09 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Officer: TIFU by Man-handling a man's handle.
Drekken- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:23:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except this story would be true.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
steveinbuffalo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
with anticipation?
bee_tee_dubbs ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:29:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidentally"
Calingula ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:23:31 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He thought it was a pistol and tried to see if it was loaded.
Unidentified_Remains ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:28:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop: What's this then?
Kevin Smith: Its my dick, sir.
DufftheStuff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqyhojksn4U
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:18:37 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TANJustice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:44:29 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pumping adrenaline often causes an erection during stressful situations.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:24:42 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
why did he have a boner during an arrest
MintJulepMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:25:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ChQT7ZEhYOk
cha0sss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:26:24 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why was the guy so erect though?
Bagel_Dick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:27:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my penis
Aydoooo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:29:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Y'alright"
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:30:02 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs =6m40s
Skendaf ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:45:58 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmVkqg2hsUU
Not the first time this has happened lol
ThisGooch ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:46:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happened here too
loppeliten ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:48:41 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=2eZSKen1Vgc
TovrikTheThird ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:52:48 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source
onthehornsofadilemma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:55:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has this been posted yet?:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmVkqg2hsUU
Shot1608 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:19:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the cop is just making sure that this guy is used to what will happen to him in jail.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you get when you allow a high school education to be the minimum education for police.
themolestedsliver ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really accidental a cop is suppose to frisk someone even if it is the groin region and butt area even the breasts.
If there is 2 male cops and a female suspect and they are forced to frisk her they are probably going to have to feel around her breasts. Some cops used the back of there hand but your palm/fingers are a lot more sensitive so i would used my hands. But if there is a female officer around/available i would ask a female officer do the frisking and same thing for a male suspect rather a male search them.
It lessens the "officer blah blah touched my breasts a lot IMA FUCKin SUE" that is their job to make sure the people they are bringing in/searching don't have any deadly weapons/contraband that can hurt the officer and or be illegal in their own right. Also a suspect just being uncomfortable but the officer safety is a lot more important that slight discomfort.
source-2 years trade school security and law enforcement
hypmoden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I made this post 6k jus so ya'll know
Grape_Kool-Aid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:38:07 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Accidently"
noodles_p ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good ole opie boner
neobyte999 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:48:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He had a fear boner
dont_forget_canada ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:02:05 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
not gonna lie, that turned me on quite a lot.
the_seed ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:38 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Feels good.
gabokike99 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:45 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then he probably got beat up, y'know because of his 'Sexual Misconduct'
SdstcChpmnk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to...... Oh my God....
elenano ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:19:48 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's armed
coheed9867 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:38:06 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His partner started looking away before he got stung in the eye
LookAtMahKitties ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:19 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Jonah Hill?
okwhatnowyousay ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:20 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok I'm pretty sure that every dude out there knows what a hard cock feels like. Cause they have one of their own..
It does NOT take.... THAT long to realize its a hard cock....
A baton does not feel like a hard cock.... A knife does not feel like a hard cock..... This cop got one hell of a nice, long, free feel.... of a hard cock
Halt-kun ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:39 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I was near that guy I would be like
RankFoundry ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 19:20:27 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, why isn't that sexual assault though? If you even lay a hair on a cop, they'll turn into a big baby and charge you with assaulting an officer. This guy should file charges.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:24:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RankFoundry ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:31:08 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just saying, you even sneeze in the detection of a cop and they can and will charge you with assault and the judge is going to just take their word for it. This guy has video of the cop molesting his dick, he should give them a taste of their own medicine.
Tiga7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:14 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AM I BEING DETAINED AM I BEING DETAINED
Redrum714 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:51:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a fucking idiot.
BiteSizedUmbreon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can already imagine the "Don't step on my rights" bumper sticker and "Keep Calm I'm Recording" poster
igobychuck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:11 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
News flash asshole. Cops have different rules when dealing with criminals than the general public has dealing with each other
RankFoundry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:58 on January 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
News flash asshole, they're not allowed to sexually molest you.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:29:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:46 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mmhmm...sure.
DSteep ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:03:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first time could have been considered an accident. Not sure about the following 7 or 8 times
corrugatedjuice ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:03 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cop be like: I am a gay now.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:29:36 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Source https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj-Rp0vx9gs=6m40s
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:59 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno how to make it skip forward to 6 minutes and 40 seconds
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:44:57 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why are you down voting my comments? look at the video at 6 minutes and 40 seconds in.
that_one_guy_with_th ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:21:43 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Charge him with sexual assault
I_am_from_Kentucky ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:25:44 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
PLEAS SHARE IF YOUR TIRED OF SEEING SO MUCH NEGETIVITY ABOUT OUR BOYS IN BLUE!! #SUPPORTHECOPS
moderndaycassiusclay ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:56 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since Cops are pigs, is that man now technically guilty of bestiality?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:18:21 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could you sue this cop for sexual molestation?
I would.
TacticalPotatoSquad ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:22:32 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sexual assault. He should sue.
lojo1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:30 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was obviously unintentional.
TacticalPotatoSquad ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:01 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's for the courts to decide.
murdamomurda ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:07 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"accidentally"...chemically imbalanced queer of a cop.
kenny4351 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 19:53:00 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:19:17 on January 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would sue the fuck out of this police department.