MacinTez ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:48:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you figured me out
bubbzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:57 on October 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean?
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taurus made a 957... Which was chambered in .357 sig. So you're both right... Although the 957 is kind of hard to come by. It's apparently a bit of a unicorn, a Taurus revolver that's actually a pretty good gun.
Yeah, I googled it too, but I came to the conclusion that was not what they were referring to.
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that would be really unlikely for a serial killer to have. Maybe it's a poetic justice thing? "I use my shitty gun to end your shitty life," but makes sure it's a gun from a shitty brand that actually works.
Hell, I'll bring him fishing with me. Don't get radio service worth a damn in the swamps, but I'll be drunk AND he pays me? I'd love to get this guy's number.
Gramage ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 00:31:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use the CSI unblurrer to sharpen that up in a jiffy.
omgphil ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 00:42:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be able to pick locks for my dream job....if I ever find something I can drink beer, fish, and play around with locks while getting paid, I'll be a rich man.
Ever since Ferris Bueller I have listened to this song, it has been on many a playlist of mine in the last 25 years. Never have I once really pictured who sang it nor what a video for it would look like. You, sir, have permanently changed my view of this song. Now, instead of the cool Ferris Buellers Day Off vibe, I will remember this odd wtf'ish video and have mixed emotions. "Oh Yeah" is now ruined for me.
Nope, he pays you your normal weekly wage but not your expenses. When you take a vacation week at a normal job, your employer pays your weekly wage but does not pay for your trip to Hawaii, Disney, Six Flags or the shit load of porn you rent for your week long jackoff marathon. Sean is simply with you wherever you go for upto 8 hours a day, singing. Then you part and meet up the next day at Seans earliest convenience.
I'm thinking Sean sleeps during the day so he can study the moon and stars for musical inspiration at night. You're gonna be working the graveyard shifts.
But he doesn't sing for groups or events so you just have to make sure that most of the time you're going to see a play or walking through a popular landmark or lying on a crowded beach. Then you'll get some peace and quiet. At least until you return to the hotel.
My area is even worse. We don't pay our firefighters anything it is exclusively on a volunteer basis. Oh but our cops are some of the highest paid in the country (starting pay for regular police is 6, yes 6, figures). Seriously wrong priorities. Split that budget.
Edit for more info: only paramedic firefighters get paid. $10 an hour.
btmims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Where are you, kentland?! I don't see how that could possibly work. If they'll pay 6 figures for a beat cop, either COL is just that high (and every hour volunteering is an hour closer to being homeless), or they need cops that much, in which case, they should need medical and fire/rescue equally as much.
Either way, I don't see how y'all get effective emergency response for non-police matters. Must be a lot of foundations getting saved. Don't get me wrong, some places can only afford volunteers, they just need a few rescue-pumpers and tinders because they're out in the middle of nowhere and they need to have some kind of emergency response for fires on main street/houses out in the sticks, vehicle accidents, farm equipment entrapments... But I don't see how you can stay trained, stocked/inventoried, have <4 minute response times with enough personnel for "safe" and effective fire suppression... and, especially, handle the call volume of a metropolitan area. The volunteers got to pay bills, too.
Shockingly....the suburbs of new York City. Cops handle all emergency response non fire related. 911 is cops. We have no houses in the sticks, farmland, or farm eequipments. It's very built up. Fires are seen as "extreme rarity" volunteers can handle and being a fireman is not seen as a career as much as a public service you do to help others. If you have ANY concern (hurt in the house to fire) the cops are sent first and then they will request a fire volunteer team as necessary.
COL is very high. Firefighting is seen as a "hobby" after your primary career. It does not make any logical sense to me but they've been doing this as long as anyone can remember.
btmims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:19 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The American fire service: 200 years of tradition, unimpeded by progress.
Puemor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unbelievable. How can you possibly not make $15/hour?!
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*gasp*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha...
*sobs*
Area used to have a low/average standard of living oh, say... 25 years ago. So a little above minimum wage plus some built in overtime because of the scheduling wasn't too bad, you could have a cheap place by yourself, most guys would work b-shift jobs to make a little more so they could have nice things and afford kids. But property values just kept going up, small set-back during the bubble, but not much of one since the area is a peninsula, islands, and some inland... You can only go three directions to expand. None of the departments are really paying what guys need to make to afford housing, so it's living with roommates or drive an hour to get to the edge of civilization, where you can find 100k houses.
This year, my department basically gave everyone a 2% raise and no cost of living increase. 2% barely even keeps up with inflation... We have a battalion chief that is basically working full time as a transfer paramedic at one of our big hospitals just to afford living 30 minutes away.
I've never been to Australia but I've heard people mention that although the minimum wage is higher, so is the cost of living. How true is that?
My total monthly expenses are about $1,400USD in Los Angeles, CA. That includes rent, utilities, car (insurance, gas, registration, maint, etc...) and food. That means I need to earn $16,800 a year just to sustain my lifestyle. What would that cost in any major city in Australia?
Minimum wage here is $10.50/hr and is increasing yearly till 2022 when it reaches $15/hr. According to this, at $10 an hour a Californian's annual income for full time minimum wage work is about $20,800 and at $15 it would be around $31,200. In either case, I would have left over spending/saving money every month assuming I get full time employment.
Which brings me to another question, what is the job market like in Australia? How easy is it to find and maintain a full time minimum wage job? Here in the US, we have issues where businesses maintain a crew of part time employees/assets so they don't have to offer full benefits (FMLA only applies if you work more than 1,250 hours in the last 12 months) and it makes them more resilient to the affects of turnover.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep our cost of living is higher - in a major city, could could expect to pay at least $200 a week for a room in a share house, or $300-$600 for a unit/house. Food is around $100 per person per week, though you can get that down if you shop smart, a tank of fuel is about $60, rego about $800 a year, insurance depends on whether it's comprehensive or not, mobile phone bills are around $50 a month (if you own the phone outright), utilities are pretty expensive.
But our quality of living is good. Universal healthcare, free public education, paid maternity leave, university is much cheaper, job market is pretty good - I think our unemployment rate is around 5%?
The problem of employers hiring casuals to avoid sick leave/etc is a thing here too, but casuals get paid more per hour as compensation for that
If accurate, that's actually a lot less than a major US city, where housing is going to cost you more than 1k monthly for a one bedroom apartment. Food maybe more. I think 250/mo for a single person is moderate in the US, but not so much as to make up for the substantial housing cost difference. Then consider how much we're spending on healthcare which you can estimate coming in between 5 and 9% of your income at average to lower incomes. Our other big expense is transportation, and it doesn't seem like that's something that's going to be much more or less expensive.
odaeyss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minimum wage here is $10.50/hr and is increasing yearly till 2022 when it reaches $15/hr. According to this, at $10 an hour a Californian's annual income for full time minimum wage work is about $20,800 and at $15 it would be around $31,200. In either case, I would have left over spending/saving money every month assuming I get full time employment.
you're totally neglecting taxes, gonna be falling pretty short there. you owe the gov't a good bit of those wages. figure on only getting about 3/4 of whatever you earn, 10/hr is gonna be more like 7.50/hr take-home, and if thats full-time you're still only looking at 15k/yr
Maybe you should have gotten a relevant degree then if you're that jealous
ponyplop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares about 'relevant' degree. Any degree will do, most employers care more about relevant/previous work experience, which makes it a bit of a catch 22...
Xels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no BS and no student loans but I make 24/hr in a tech field. Its possible but probably not common :-(
BS here, came out making 60k. Florida public university and racked up only a 18k in debt. I mean, stop being lazy and take more than liberal arts math and you too could have a BS.
Shhh, donโt tell them. Theyโre gonna saturate the saturated market.
Jokes aside, not everyone is meant for STEM. The same reason I canโt be bothered to write an essay about anything is probably the same reason others canโt be bothered to understand how bits and numbers format their emojis.
Seriously. And have you ever had someone you know sing to you one-on-one? For even a few minutes? Super uncomfortable.
Dason37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the thing, you don't know him. But when he breaks big after all the practice he paid you for, you'll be telling everyone in the street that you know him.
I suppose that's true! And maybe I can multi-task because I don't have to worry about hurting his feelings. Hmm, I wonder if he can employ me full-time...
talz13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you could work from home, you could get paid for both at the same time!
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 00:30:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may qualify for the WIA grant which is a federal grant for 12k to learn a trade for unemployed/underemployed americans, contact your local unemployment office for info, it changed my life.
Changed your life how? I consider myself underemployed and am good with my hands. This could be something to look into
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in sales for 10 years, got fired 5 times cause i suck at sales, used the WIA to get some IT certs noe im a network admin and spend half my workday watching netflix or playing an mmo.
My overall happiness in life has increased tenfold all thanks to that grant.
I find your story very inspiring! I would LOVE to get into IT but don't know what steps to take. Do you mind me asking which certs you got and how long it took?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, the first thing you need to decide if you want to get into IT is do you want to be a programmer or in IT support/network administration. I work in IT support, im the guy that handles things like if someones computer stops working, or a switch goes down, things like that.
I started by getting my Comptia A+. This is a great certification to start with because it shows you know the minimum to get a tier 1 support job, which is what really matters because experience > anything else in this industry. After i got my A+ cert i got the job i have now, which is technically a tier 1 support job but im the only person in my office so i do everything a full network admin would do.
Once i got this job I was already working on my Cisco CCNA, which is a certification that specializes in routers and switches. With this cert, you are pretty much guaranteed to get a job in IT, but it is important to show competnence in basic pc support with something like the A+. Another option is microsoft certification, though i havent done that so i couldnt really tell you the best route.
Now im working on VMware certification, with that the sky is really the limit because its in such high demand right now.
You can work on all these certs on your own from your home, never stepping foot in a college or school. professormessor.com is a free resources which has fantastic videos to teach you everything you need to know to take the Comptia A+, as well as a few others. Once your ready to take the exam you can schedule it through pearson view's website, they are typically around $250.
If you have any questions, or start down this path and ever need any help, im always on reddit and happy to help, good luck bro!
Will Sean be singing 40hrs/wk and offer vacation/sick days?
Most importantly, do I just have to listen to him (no funny stuff, Sean!), and do I have to only listen to Sean? Ideally Sean could sing at me while I watch Netflix or browse Reddit.
A ZJ is when you receive oral sex from a Caucasian Zimbabwean prostitute as she balances a basket of fruit on her head, and for each piece of fruit that falls from the basket, a $5 discount is rewarded.
Wouldn't wanna get scammed and have him pay you for nothing
Dracofav ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still, it's just a picture. How do we know he's not Milli Vanilli-ing us?
madd74 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:32:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny you say this, as it reminds me of the time I went to New York back in 2001. I saw a sign and it was a guy saying for $2 you could yell obsinities at him. It was beyond crazy.
brosef31 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$2?! Shit, and here I am doing it everyday for free.
I could settle for 15 original songs per hour, secretly record them and post the recordings as music videos with various landscape photos on YouTube and make more profit from ads
If your nemesis accepts your invitation to a private singing performance by a dude who put up signs on telephone poles, it's probably a one-way rivalry.
regoapps ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing that his Tinder profile hasn't been working well, since he's a bald Asian male. He thinks his singing skills might be enough to woo a girl, though. Problem is that Tinder doesn't allow audio/video. So he's forced to now pay for girls to listen to him sing in hopes that one day a girl will hear his voice and swoon.
Asian guy here- good thing I'm into black women. Rubs hands like Birdman.
regoapps ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you if you look at the chart, Black women don't prefer Asian males, too. They prefer Black males. Only Asian girls prefer Asian males over the average male, but they also prefer White males over Asian males.
Tbh I think I disproportionate number of black women have Asian fetish. Gotta find the ones who are into anime and K-pop and stuff.
It's sad that y'all get short shrift, tho, and have such a difficult time in general. Fwiw, I'm an Asian woman and at least half of my male cousins are dating or married to white chicks. So....it still happens quite a bit.
ace66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I can see from this study is that if you're a black woman you are screwed.
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends where you are. There are a lot more white women with yellow fever here on the west coast. I know plenty of AMWF relationships and marriages.
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on how progressive the area is and how integrated Asians are in my opinion. Is there are large Asian community in your area? That's probably why. Here in Florida, I'm the one only Asian male probably in a 5 mile radius (minus the tourists).
Yes. Progressive and integrated. I've spent time in Georgia and the Carolinas and understand how it is there. Here in Seattle most white people know the difference between Chinese, Korean, Filipinos, Viet, etc and their cuisines. I feel like the east coast, while has large minority groups like in NYC or Boston aren't very integrated.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's what I noticed about NYC. Everyone might have a friend or two from a different ethnicity but people usually stay within their own cliques. You can say that about LA to a point like certain areas are more vietnamese like Westminster or Chinese like Hacienda Heights, etc but I feel like in Seattle there are more mixed ethnic groups of friends. I'm Korean but my wife is Viet.
regoapps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with it. Just that women don't find it more attractive.
A new study indicates men who choose to go bald by shaving their heads are perceived as being more masculine, even taller and physically stronger - although less attractive than men with a full head of hair.
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're both quoting the same study if you click the source.
Straight from the source study:
The news, however, was not unequivocally positive for men
considering the shaved look. Study 2 found that shaving added
almost 4 years to the menโs average age, the largest standardized difference between the photographs (see Table 2). And
in Studies 2 and 3, the men were viewed as considerably less
attractive with shaved heads as with hair.
You should also note that "The Sun" is a tabloid in the UK, and shouldn't be taken seriously. They probably didn't even bother reading the whole study before writing their click-bait article.
Ah you seem to be correct despite several recent 2017 articles claiming the study to be 'new,' however what people find attractive is subject to change.
Perhaps 5 years later women in Pennsylvania do actually prefer bald men, or women outside of Pennsylvania. I wouldn't take that particular study too seriously.
phayke2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's a cancer patient. Not many bald males without eyebrows too. Maybe he wrote these songs while in the hospital alone and just wants one person to hear them before he dies. So he is paying 15 an hour because he has like 200 bucks and one day left to live.
I mean shit your guess is as good as mine on this one.
HairyDBZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
frakimus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no. I know I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep because I'm going to think of this comment and start laughing
I actually loved it more when I got a job working in a cube farm. There are just so many nuances that perfectly encapsulate how trapped you feel: the static shock every single morning, the obliviously obnoxious coworkers, the meaningless tasks, the endless staff meetings about... nothing, the "performance reviews" that are literally just your boss telling you what you do for the company and telling you to "winnovate", and so on.
If nothing else, Office Space is a perfect verisimilitude of cube farm life.
Mr_tipco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you are correct. It came out when I was a college intern and we laughed with nervous acceptance while watching it. "This is what we're getting in to." There's one thing we've got to do that I refer to as our TPS reports where I do actually have to say exactly what it is I do there... ah well at least I don't have to work weekends too often.
It hits home a lot harder, but it also highlights that your professional life is what you make of it, and remaining in a shitty work environment is a choice.
psu256 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:28:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was on TV Sunday night, and I watched it before bed, regretting the whole time I had to get up for work the next day.
aibaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had, only minutes prior to arriving on that subway platform, just broken up with my girlfriend. The split had been a couple of months in the making (and a much more painful process than it should have been), but it was hardly at all the relief that people had suggested that it would be. I was, in short, miserable.
To make matters worse, it had started to rain as I'd been walking back from the hotel.
My life, I was thinking, was like a bad movie... and as if on cue, a crazy character showed up from out of nowhere. He was a small, slender homeless man with a bushy grey beard and a strange kind of sparkling laughter in his eyes, who was quietly wandering the subway station with a stack of papers clutched in his hands.
"Poems!" the man called to nobody in particular. "Poetry for sale!"
As I watched the fellow meander his way across the platform, I felt an odd compulsion to approach him. Maybe it was just my despondent mood, or maybe it was something more sublime... but I walked up with my wallet out.
"How much?" I asked.
"Ten dollars," replied the man. "Or five dollars."
I looked into my wallet. "I only have a five," I said, offering the bill forward.
"Ah, okay. That gets you half a book." The hobo extracted a few pages from his stack... and right before my eyes, he tore it in half. "There you go!" he said.
I smiled weakly. "Uh, thanks." Before I could turn to walk away, though, the man stopped me.
"Hey," he gently said, "wait a second." He carefully folded the rest of his poetry "books" and stuffed them into a dilapidated backpack. "You get a free poem, too. I'll write it right now."
"That's okay," I answered.
"No, no, you have to," replied the homeless man. "Pick a topic."
As if on cue, a roll of thunder passed by overhead. (Actually, I think it was probably just a passing subway car. The Bay Area is not known for its impressive lightning.) I turned back to the alleged poet. "Okay," I said, "write me a poem about rain."
I will never forget the verses he offered to me then:
"Uh... ah... I like the rain. It takes away my pain. It makes me feel vain. Sometimes I like to ride my bike naked in the rain, and then a policeman stops me. 'Hey, how come you don't have any clothes on?!' 'I'm just going for a bike ride, officer!' But I still like the rain, and the sun and the moon, and... and... and..."
Then, with no prompting from me, the homeless guy added some kind of strange dance-step to his recital. In two jerking motions, he hopped from one foot to the other and then back again, as though he was trying to ascend a flight of very short (and invisible) stairs whilst keeping his legs completely straight. He went through that pattern several times, all the while saying "Dip-dip! Dip-dip! Dip-dip! Dip-Dip!"
It was quite a confusing sight to behold... and as soon as it had begun, it was over. The hobo let loose a single deranged syllable of laughter and bolted away, apparently signalling the end of the performance. I watched him go, bewildered, until a voice from behind made me jump.
"That was nice of you."
I turned to see an elderly woman in a raincoat. "Excuse me?" I asked.
"It was nice of you to listen to him. People should listen to people." I was at a loss for a response, so I just smiled and nodded. "Not for too long, though," the woman continued. "He was fucking crazy."
Looking back... I have to say, there was a surprising amount of wisdom in the first part of that woman's statement.
The second part, too, come to think of it.
TL;DR: A homeless guy "dip-dipped" in front of me, and I had a minor epiphany.
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was walking out of a convenience store after buying a pack of cigarettes. A homeless person outside said 'I'll tell you a dirty joke for a cigarette'.
I gave him one and he said 'what did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts'.
I gave him another cigarette.
Edit: oh wow, feel kinda dumb now. I was just reading comments and responding. Only now did I notice I replied to the great u/RamsesThePigeon . They always tell great stories.
Funkit ยท 220 points ยท Posted at 23:56:05 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Around ten years ago there was a guy in downtown Orlando who used to beat box Billy Jean while dancing like Michael, he was actually really good.
When I was on my way back from Costa Rica, I was wandering around Miami in between flights and some homeless guy gave me a cricket he had folded out of palm leaves. I still have it, though itโs significantly shorter than it was, due to cats chewing on the legs.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of these that a dude gave me in Indonesia! Itโs on my nightstand.
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was walking my dog and a hobo with a giant tree branch comes running out of the nearby park, screaming at me, and trying to hit me and my dog with the branch. Managed to run away before he got to me, never went by that park again.
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was watching Rick and Morty on my phone when all of a sudden a hobo comes to me and kills me with a chainsaw.
28Hz ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:41:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I am a hobo.
Within the last year, I believe, I was giving the newer Simpsons (post-movie, widescreen, loss of fluid movement due to the whole project computer generated from start to finish, I assume. Stuff after season 20) with my wife .i think it was ~season 25ish where they started bringing in guest artists for the couch gag, setting aside several minutes for each.
But this one was bizarre but beautiful. But still bizarre. A familiar bizarre. I started freaking out because his name escaped me, but as soon as it was wrapping up I got to proudly shout, "Don Hertzfeldt!!", with that rush of relief you get when finding something obscure on the top of your tongue.
Afterwards, I caught her up with Rejected (as is most people's introduction to his work) then put on his It's Such a Beautiful Day as she rolled over to go to sleep saying that only I would be able be able to piece that together from a Simpsons couch bag. It could've been something like, "Of course you can place this obscure reference". Something to that affect.
Recognizing the art style, piecing it together with credits confirming it (while having some of his work on hand) is kind of a bags of honor to me. But sure why.
I need to explore his works again. If I remember right his animation process is grueling and intense and requires biblical patience and passion. My recollection is hazy at best, must've been something further obscured, confused, or erased by my two seizures, but I think Don might have actually developed his own process. I think I recall a participating camera mounted pointing down towards something to backlight the drawings/cells and an intense attention to detail despite his characters being almost fully stick figures.
Sorry, that's just a really strong memory and moment (I guess emotionally, rather than detailed) for me.
Much better than my experience. I was leaning up against my black Town Car while waiting for my passenger to come out of the hotel. A homeless woman walks up to me and quietly asks if I had a spare cigarette. I said no, and she shouted WELL, YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE!
Better than my hobo experience. I was in North Station Boston, MA on my way back to New York, and went into the bathroom which was super busy. Guy leaves a stall, clearly homeless, kinda fussed around with the door, makes eye contact with me, kinda smiles, and leaves. Whatever, just want to take a quick piss and get on my train. Walk into the stall, unzip, start pissing. Finish, zip up, start to turn around....and something catches my eye. There, on the wall, and all over the toilet paper dispenser....jizz. Dripping. Everywhere.
Donโt think Iโve had a worse public bathroom experience.
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i just got comb guy and "if im gonna drink in the bushes im gonna drink in the bushes" homeless guy.
poonjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave a homeless man 2 cigs and he asked if i wanted him to smd. I had already given him his cigs
A1KMAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember going to a hockey game with my dad in Detroit. Hockey town im pretty sure the restaurant was. A "homeless" guy (idk he had a big ass fur coat and timbs on) came up and just started rapping a pretty bad song to him. Trying to add a beatbox in between every lyric. After about what felt like 15 minutes, it was over. He then assumed he deserved money. Being the spooked out Canadian white closeted racist my dad was, he gave him $20 (only bill he had on him), but heres the catch, he asked him for $10 back haha. Not really a great story but the fact that he asked a presumed homeless guy for cash back is still fucking hilarious to me after 10 years.
That reminds me of a scene in the cartoon American Dad. In it stan, a cia agent, is watching a cafe to assassinate a terrorist and while doing so a homeless person asks him for change. He says no but will pay him 10 cents to tie his shoes. After doing so Stan gives him a quarter (25 cents) And asks for change back.
Idk if you, as a Canadian, know the change amounts so that's why I added them.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A homeless man stabbed me once.
For free.
teslaabr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone sit next to me on the Chicago Subway in a mostly empty car and tell me about how he poked this other person's eyeballs out. He said some other weird shit too but I don't really remember. I promptly got off at the next station.
I also had a lady in Seattle stop me on the street to tell me "They know. They are coming. You can read about it in the top floor of that building!!" Points
She was definitely schizophrenic but I'm not sure about the first guy...he may have actually killed or nearly killed someone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was approached by a guy in NYC when I was there for a conference. I walked away feeling pretty sad for him because you could tell he suffered a lot from his story.. but also a little less sad because he got a bit racist in trying to guess my ethnicity over and over after I told him I was born in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brxson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a hobo experience I had literally a few days ago. My friends and I are waiting at an intersection for the light to turn green to cross. As I'm leaning up against the pole, a hobo seemingly appears out of nowhere, coming from behind the pole I was leaning on. He immediately said "What did one pussy say to the other pussy?", my friend kind of chuckled and said "..what?" as in it just took us by surprised, the hobo repeated himself and we all said "I don't know, what?" to his response "remember when we used to be tight?" cue our laughter immediately following that joke, we were howling. My friend says "Man I'd give you a hundred dollars if I had it on me", hobo says "Like fuck you would, you wouldn't even give me 10 cents in your pocket", the laughter dies down and my friend says "what?", the hobo repeats himself. This is where I chipped in and said "Sorry, man, we don't have any money on us, just got my debit card". Hobo immediately motions to a nearby ATM machine and tells me to go take out 20 dollars, and before I could even utter the words no, he ran off into the night, as my friend shouted out "Keep telling jokes like that and you'll have pockets full of cash!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
some people pay big bucks for that big boy, consider yourself grateful
This didn't happen in Seattle did it? I heard this same joke from a homeless dude there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was followed into an alley and stabbed for my wallet, which didn't have any cash in it anyways, because, really, who caries cash anymore.
kapaya28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got a joke out of it.
One nice guy chatted me up while I was smoking outside my hotel in the South Loop of Chicago. When he asked if I had a spare cig and I said "sorry I'm out" (and actually was) he said "well the 7-11 is just on the corner, you mind buying me a pack?" And I agreed because he was generating good conversation and looked like he could use a pack of pleasure in his miserable state of existence.
I was thinking maybe $10 at the most. Little did I know Chicago had recently jacked the price of Newports up to $20.
Posaunne ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 22:12:12 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was mesmerized at your writing, and then scrolled up to see the username. Gripping, as always. And I didn't know you were a Bay Area dweller as well.
Yep! The above story took place in Berkeley, but I was living in San Francisco at the time. I've spent most of my adult life in the Bay Area, save for a two-year stint in Louisiana. After that brief period, suffice to say that I was glad to come home.
Ha! I read that whole story, and was about to ask if this took place somewhere in the Bay Area. I used to live in Berkeley, and I ran into the same guy in the Center Street BART station. He also offered to sell me a poem. Instead, I recited to him what I could remember of The Second Coming by Yeats.
Dude, that post was so beautifully written I completely forgot what thread I was on.
bov23 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:31:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while since I've read something on reddit for this long and it didn't end up with the Undertaker throwing Mankind down... something...something.
That homeless man sounds like a true avant-garde artist. Probably too crazy for most people's tastes, but he definitely seems to have that something that other artists desperately try to seek out within themselves. Sure, we might have moments of clarity and stumble into the arms of greatness, but people like that are the 24/7, distilled version of creativity that can't be stifled. They are the purest form of a drug that we all conservatively dose ourselves with, afraid we'll go mad. I wonder where he is today.
Man, you are really reading into who he might have been. Based on my experiences with the homeless, his erratic behavior is most likely explained by drugs.
thought for sure this was gonna end in "undertaker vs mankind hell in a cell..." but I was already not mad about it because I was digging your story. 10/10 would read again. thanks.
Do you have the half-book? Did you ever look through it? I wonder how his other stuff that might not have been made up on the spot was... probably still crazy, but even so I'm quite curious.
It kind of reminds me of this girl who used to sell flowers out of a little basket in front of my old bus stop. Usually carnations or sometimes roses if it was near a special occasion (like Valentines Day or Christmas). She sold them all with a little ribbon tied around the stems and a short poem (like 3-6 lines) that she wrote wrapped around tied by the ribbon.
It was all very romantic, and I swear she was my first crush (although I was only about 11 and she was 13- practically an adult in my mind). I only bought them from her a handful of times because I didn't often have any pocket money, but I wanted to make her happy and they were very beautiful so I scrounged up what I could every once in a while.
I pressed the flowers when they started to whither and I put them in a scrapbook, although one time I made her a bookmark out of some of the pressed flowers and petals and leaves, and at the top i tied the little ribbon to have it hang down as a page marker. She seemed so excited and even though I never really talked with her at length (I was very shy), I think we had some sort of connection.
One time on the way home I saw her waiting on that bench under the little stop in the rain, so when the bus stopped I ran out under the roof and sat down next to ber waiting for the rain to slow. We politely talked about the downpour and how unpredictable the weather was in those parts. It turned to a drizzle but when I went to leave she stopped me. She said she had something for me and handed me a little slip of paper all folded up. She told me to wait to open it until that night before bed. I think she was blushing and she was definitely looking away when she gave it to me, but it might have just been my imagination.
When I finally got to open it later that night it was a little poem only about 3ish lines long and I can't exactly remember what it said but it was along the lines of "have sweet dreams, and may you remember those far off worlds you imagine and smile when you think of them." On the back it said "P.S. I hope I'm somewhere in them :)
Sadly, it wasn't really a fairy-tale or anything like that, we were just awkward kids. It was near the end of the school year, and the few times I saw her again we were both so flustered that we could barely hold a conversation. I told her thank-you for the note and that it made me smile, and she smiled real big and said you're welcome! and that was the end of it. I walked home, and then we moved over the summer (my family is military so we moved quite often- usually every one or two years). I never saw her again, although if I did see her now I'm sure I'd recognize her. I still think about her once and a while, even though it's been years. I'd love to meet her again someday and tell her that the note meant more to me than she thought and that I always thought she was someone special. And sometimes, every once in a while, I still do smile when I think of those far off worlds where maybe we were together, always innocent kids forever.
"Not for too long, though," the woman continued. "He was fucking crazy."
Plus some beggers get pretty pissed if they go through the entirety of a long pitch and you don't give them any money. Or as much as they think their time is worth.
It was actually a collection of poems, some of which had been truncated by the process of tearing the "book" in half. I don't remember too many of them, but one that did stick with me was entitled "I'm Fucking the Earth."
While I can't recall the specific wording, the poem in question seemed to be a literal account of... well, you can imagine. I did my best to look at it as being a metaphor for something or other, but the all-too-accurate descriptions of both holes dug in the ground and physical anatomy made that a little bit difficult.
In other words, it was still better than many poems that I've read.
Bujjick ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:08:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bujjick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Andy Daly's character Dalton Wilcox, Poet Laureate of the West on an episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Scott Aukerman and Jason Mantzoukas are the other people.
Thanks a lot for the info! For some reason it really sounded like Dan Harmon to me, and I admit I've never listened to that show.
Bujjick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more than worth your time if you're into improv. The TV show is a good intro to Scott's comedy style and some of the popular characters, if you wanna try that before digging into the podcast.
When I was a fresh-out-of-college kid in Boston for a job interview in the mid 90s, I spent part of my Friday afternoon (post interview) to see the sites of Boston. I was riding a tour bus around downtown but knew I didn't have time for the whole tour, so I reached a point that I got off the bus, said goodbye to the tour guide and headed for the subway to get back to my car and get to the airport.
And I got lost on the subway.
I offered a homeless guy $20 and to pay his subway fare to guide me back to my car. He counter offered $20 and the unopened bottle of Pepsi I was carrying. Deal made and 15 minutes later I was on the correct line and understood where my stop was, I gave my guide an extra $10 and have never returned to Boston.
fin.
intet42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a residential facility for people with psychotic disorders. This story honestly made me kind of nostalgic.
Zwums ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:18:55 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about that last sentence though. Shouldn't it be
The second part too, come to think of it.
And not
The second part, too, come to think of it.
Edit: My reasoning is that "too" is vital to the intended meaning of the sentence, and if it was extra information the sentence could be read without it.
Yeah that part irked me. Where s/he mistakenly added an appositive, but Iโm willing to overlook that minor grammar error just because everything else is correct. If this was a grammar test that was pass/fail, however, s/he would fail.
MrNar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should read some of their other comments, they've got some great stories.
Wow what an amazing experience, thanks for sharing that was a fun read :)
There was a lot of wisdom in the actions of the hobo as well.
There is parts of that same wisdom all around us, but one just needs to be present.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you the story of the hobo I met.
My father had passed a few weeks prior. In my clamor to mend my darkened heart, I donated time to the local shelters. Whilst serving on the dinner line, the manager called me over.
"Would you mind taking these down to Tent City?" as he handed me a tipsy stack of prepacked dinners.
"Of course," I replied - this is why I was here, to pay penance for my weathered soul.
Five blocks later, I climbed the dirt path to Tent City, a refuge of the downtrodden and homeless, collected in a single pool like rainwater filling a depression. No one knew if Tent City was created by the homeless, or if Tent City created the homeless. I made the rounds until my stack was nearly depleted, minus one final meal.
There, just down the hill from the main thoroughfare and behind a tree, was a ragged tent bearing holes blowing in the gentle wind.
"Hello!" I called, walking up to the entrance. To my dismay, a ghoulish form dragged itself into the failing evening light. His beard was matted with what could be mud, and his sunken cheeks were enrobed in a charcoal-like soot. His eyes, however, were bright with energy when cast upon me.
"Yee've brought dinner, have yeev?" His words were slurred, perhaps from the drink, perhaps from a stroke. I could not say.
With bent knee, I handed him the white carton. He raised his bushy brow.
"Eeve got some for eere, don't ye leave." He disappeared into his snail shell of a hovel, returning with a wretched bundle of fur. "I see ye heavy heart, won't ye hold this in yer comforts."
As it lay in my hand, I shuddered to see the crooked rabbit's foot was intact, but filthy. I smiled falsely, pushing the edges of my mouth up. Inside, I was screaming to run, flee, get the hell out of there.
He chuckled aloud in the fading din behind me as I plodded back to the shelter. When I grew far enough from the tent, I threw the defiled foot into the pines below with a tinge of disgust, and the brief urge to vomit.
When I arrived at the shelter, the rabbit's foot was in my pocket. As I write this, it sits on the edge of my desk. Suffice to say, it took years to learn how to rid myself of it; even now it rends at my soul. But that is another story.
When I used to live in SLC, there was a homeless guy who played the cello. I don't know if he would be considered good by professional standards, but I loved listening to him.
There was a probably homeless guy here who threatened to punch me because my friend and I wouldn't kiss him... that sucked. :/
ej531 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, have had a magical dancing hobo experience. I was in Russia at a cafe that played techno music all the freaking time. They had a speaker that played music outside the front door too. This old, hunched over hobo is walking by the doorway at a snailโs pace. He makes eye contact with my friend and me, and suddenly transforms into a dance machine! When the song ends, he hunches back over and hobbles away. Totally bizarre, like most things in Russia.
8979323 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a marvelously preposterous story. It's so ridiculous that you know there's at least a kernel of truth in there. Although, now I think of it, it's probably not even embellished; I've been to san Francisco.
grimster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolling thought the comments to find this gem was worth it...
yopeee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:02:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me. I was outside of a bar with a friend when a portly drunk guy comes stumbling up. He was short and fat with a fire red beard and hair. He looks like a fat leprechaun. He was piss drunk and asks us for a cig and we both said no because the area has stray buns who can smell free give aways.
He asks would we give him a smoke if he told us a poem. Being a college kid and a little buzzed, we said sure. He whips out some legit ass heart felt poetry. He looks at us and we commend him on his art. He completely surprised us by pulling out his own book. Published and all. We give him 2 smokes and he waddled away.
My friend and I go upstairs to the bar where an open mic is going on. We were early but needed to save spots for my other friends. It was a girl, my friend and I. Out of nowhere, the drunken poetic leprachaun comes waddling in. Of course he spots us and sits down. We humor him as he reads more poetry but this time it's different. He starts speaking to the girl. He is reciting love poems and hitting on her. All good if harmless. He gives her a copy of the book and she thanked him. He then says that she has to go home with him. She is visibly uncomfortable so I let him know those seats are reserved for my friends. He glares at me and says that I need to mind my own business. He then aggressively says that if he gives her a gift and she accepts than she must treat him.
At this point he has crossed the line and she offers the book back and says she's not interested. He snaps and calls her names. I tell him he needs to go. My friend leaves to alert the bartender. He gets uup and starts swearing at me and tries throwing a punch. I try to deescalate the situation by pushing him away but in a drunken stumble he falls onto a small table on the side of the couch.
The party next to us comes over and helps me deescalate the situation while the drunk guy continues making a scene. The bouncers come and try to remove him but hes fighting with them. They ultimately remove him from the bar and the bouncers let us stay once the partyy next to us backs up our story that we were being nice and the guy snapped.
A guy in the party next to us offered to buy us a round of beers and said that we were being nice by listening to a guy who wanted to be heard. (2$ PBR Tuesdays so wasnt a huge gift) we thanked him and came back to our seats to find out that the seat the guy was sitting on was now piss stained. So we lost the seats we were saving in the first place. The open mic was good tho.
My goodness how that reminds me of Simon and Garfunkel's A Poem on the Underground Wall:
The last train is nearly due The underground is closing soon And in the dark deserted station Restless in anticipation A man waits in the shadows
His restless eyes leap and scratch At all that they can touch or catch And hidden deep within his pocket Safe within its silent socket He holds a colored crayon
Now from the tunnel's stony womb The carriage rides to meet the groom And opens wide and welcome doors But he hesitates, then withdraws Deeper in the shadows
And the train is gone suddenly On wheels clicking silently Like a gently tapping litany And he holds his crayon rosary Tighter in his hand
Now from his pocket quick he flashes The crayon on the wall he slashes Deep upon the advertising A single-worded poem comprised of four letters
And his heart is laughing, screaming, pounding The poem across the tracks rebounding Shadowed by the exit light His legs take their ascending flight To seek the breast of darkness and be suckled by the night
Shilo788 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like that ever happens around here, not the poet or the sage.
Trying hanging out in San Franciscan subway stations sometime. You'll get quite a few of each, and more than a handful of folks who are purportedly both.
Phased ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
San Francisco has some of the most interesting homeless people. My favorite experience when I visited was a simple one, smoking a nice aged cigar down at the wharf just talking to an elderly homeless man for the hour my cigar burned. His stories and his genuineness were just so unexpected. Where I'm from you don't see homeless people and all I hear are stories about how they are dangerous and a nuisance, but walking around those almost abandoned streets, where hours prior a constant flood of tourists stood, I've never felt safer.
Had the cigar not flooded my novice lungs with a rush of nicotine I have yet to experience since, I would have loved to talk to him longer. Sadly I doubt he is still around as a brain tumor was ailing him at the time.
Don't take this as telling people to approach homeless people as some are dangerous, and sure many are a burden, but they are also human and may have had more experiences than some could in multiple lifetimes. If the situation allows, and one has a story they feel they need to share, it may be worth giving it a shot and hearing them out. Who knows, you may even get a story out of it.
I met another but likely homeless guy once. A weird, black man.
The weird thing about him was that I remembered him. I could swear I've met him before. This man, this crazy man, is always playing Bob Marley songs.
(I think)The first time I've met him we has playing on the streets in front of a local supermarket. Singing about songs of freedom. I was intrigued, because he sung and played his guitar very well. Better than most played artists. I gave him some spares and left.
The second time I met him, I was in a very bad mood. My (ex) girlfriend left for a year of studying abroad and I felt alone. He was playing no woman no cry. We sung together and followed up with the three little birds.
The third time I met him was in a bar. He's was making people happy and he recognised me. I bought him a drink or two and he needed a ride to the city centre. I carried him on the back of my bike and he ran away from me there after telling me he was an illegal immigrant that wasn't welcome in this country. Before, on the bike I offered him a job , because I host local craft beer events and some live music always works out well. He didn't accept because "He had everything he wanted." The last song he sang was jamming from mr.marley.
After that I didn't saw him for three years. I did ok in these years. Good paying job after college, house, car et cetera.
Until I realised I had no one to share it with.
Last month I saw him again. He was playing in front of a different supermarket at the other side of town. I'm currently in love with someone again and how the fck can he be back in my life. He was playing could you be loved. He didn't recognize me but took my donation thankfully.
Sometimes I start believing in faith , destiny and souls that are tied together somehow. People make differences in your life.
Better than my last homeless story. Last time I was in the city a man asked me for money as soon as I got out of my car. I told him sorry I donโt have anything, and he said even change is fine. I happened to have a lot of coins in my wallet so I thought what the hell, he can have them. As soon as I opened my wallet he leaned over me and saw I had some crisp $20 bills.
โDonโt do me like that! I knew you had some more to give!โ
I just muttered sorry and put the coins in his hand. Iโm a broke college student and that was my money for groceries. I still help people out if they need it, but Iโm not going that far until I can afford to.
jhetts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like not being able to tell if this is fiction or not. I guess that's what makes a good story though
nurdpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a wonderful way with words. Point me in the direction of any writing you may have available online. Thanks for sharing that and I hope life has gotten less miserable since the dip-dip man graced you with his... magic.
I got to "dip dip" and then guessed it was you. Nice read.
OreBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was on writing prompts for a minute and I was really excited to hear about the half book and my mind was already filling in some more of the story, basically the book is clearly special in some way and the rest of the story in my head was spent trying to find the homeless man and maybe deal with whatever revelations or secrets or whatever the book revealed.
I also had an experience where someone, who may have been homeless but was clearly desperate (but otherwise of normal mental state), offered to sell me a poem made up on the spot for 3 dollars. I said "Sure, why not", and he said, "Alright, give me six words and I'll give you a poem that uses all six of them". I happened to be thinking about fundamental particles, so I said, "Uh.. ok, Up, Down, Top, Bottom, Strange and Charm". I wish, I seriously wish I'd had some way to record this, because after thinking for about 20 seconds, the guy proceeds to rap out one of the coolest improvised poems I've ever heard. It didn't mention quarks of course, but was about getting up after life gets you down. I told him that he had quite a neat talent and that I hoped things got better.
Plusran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly enough I pictured this happening outside the Downtown Berkeley BART station before you even mentioned that it happened in the Bay Area. Even though I have only used that station a small handful of times.
That's still eriely accurate. Of all the subway stations I've been to, I imagined the right one, in spite of being from New York and using BART almost exclusively on the peninsula.
HardOff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in Brazil. Endlessly insane, homeless. He'd point out the holy ghost on the street, try to help me see it, but I never could. Then, he'd tap his feet in a circle, called it "steps of the spirit." I loved this guy and how happy he always was to see me. There were times where talking to him was the highlight of the whole day.
That's fucking amazing. I've had some interesting experiences with homeless people, but that takes the cake.
My best one is when I was taking to some homeless people in Cambridge, sharing some cigarettes with a few that I knew from always walking around town. Well one younger girl I hadn't met before was there and we were talking and she suddenly asks me if I want to hold a hamster. I of course answered "ummm YEAH" and she starts digging in her large, emerging first without a fat lazy little mouse she thrust into my hand to hold while she kept digging. Another mouse, lots of random shit from her bag, and a good size rat later, she pulls out a fucking living model of hamtaro. It was cute enough to be worth having had to juggle her two mice and her rat while she found him.
I see homeless people a lot while I work, driving around Detroit. A lot of them just need someone to talk to. I have a nice story that to me this year. Everyday on my route I would see this guy who was probably no more than 5 years older than me and looked strung out and completely down out on his luck. Everyday I would watch him until one day I rolled down my window and just talked to him. He told me his name and over the course of 6 weeks we became friends kind of. I would get an extra sandwich or some smokes for him like once a week.
One day I bought him a whole pack of Marlboro. When I gave it to him the look of joy in his face was enormous. I said to him. "Here Brother these are for you." He replied, "Oh thank you so much man god bless." I paused for a second and gave him a sincere look and said "I bought these for you so they can kill you brother, because that's what people are doing by giving you things you want that you haven't earned. I don't want you to die but you're making it easy for yourself someone out there loves you and doesn't want you to die. Just remember you're loved."
He said with a sad frown on his face while putting his head down, "Thank you." The next day I didn't get stopped at the light but I saw he had a smile on his face. He looked happy and wasn't holding his sign. After a month of not seeing him at that intersection. I saw another homeless person. This time it was a girl.
"What happened to Carl that was always on this corner?" I said. "He called his mom a few weeks ago and she picked him up the next day. She lives across the state and drove all the way here to get him." She said to me. I smiled and said to her I'm happy he's doing good. Wished her well then went on my way.
I don't know what happened but I'm sure he had a moment of clarity and I feel like sometimes people just need someone to talk to. Even if they're homeless.
"Uh... ah... I like the rain. It takes away my pain. It makes me feel vain. Sometimes I like to ride my bike naked in the rain, and then a policeman stops me. 'Hey, how come you don't have any clothes on?!' 'I'm just going for a bike ride, officer!' But I still like the rain, and the sun and the moon, and... and... and..."
If you're talking about my previously voiced desire to write as my full-time profession (instead of via contracts), that specific quest came to a favorable conclusion about sixteen months ago. Nowadays, a significant chunk of my job involves writing or editing.
Do not fall for this scam.
Without question, these songs have been heard before.
I can see accepting $15 an hour if the songs really hadn't been heard before - but that's not the case here.
If you are trying to sing me songs that have been heard before, I wouldn't consider anything under $16.75/hr.
What do you take me for?
Nice try Sean, but I'm on to you!
Dude, you can either take 15 and hour for having a weirdo sing at you about the moon and stars, or you can take 5 and hour for having multiple weirdos shout obscenities at you at McDonald's.
You're not. No one who goes around, correcting other people's grammar, are helping anyone. It's obnoxious. Everyone hates it. It literally doesn't matter. You knew exactly what I meant.
Whenever you feel the impulse to correct someone's grammar - Just don't. They're not going to appreciate it.
This has been a PSA.
ponyplop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:32:42 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, so it's a habit, so you can fuck off.
I know a girl who responded to a Craigslist ad from a man who claimed to be a Nike employee. If memory serves me right, his job was to find out how womenโs feet reacted to different brands of shoes, not just Nike. He had to find out whether they would sweat or smell a lot, so for $50 he would meet you in a public park and rub and smell your feet for about five minutes. Every time I see her I tell her she helped a guy with a foot fetish get off, but she thinks that he was really a Nike employee since he agreed to meet in a public place.
foofdawg ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 21:21:38 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a shoe/boot licker where I live. Haven't met him myself but he is usually found in the same part of town where there's a lot of bars. He'll compliment people on their shoes/boots, ask if he can see them closer, and then immediately lick the sole before you really have a chance to know what he's doing. He's reportedly very friendly and pleasant, and outside of his fetish, a seemingly normal fellow.
I honestly thought you were going to say Orlando. There was this pedicab driver downtown who used to give girls free rides in exchange for foot pictures.
I've had that guy try and lick my shoes before. He asked nicely, I still told him no though. I think he ended up licking a friend of mines shoe
FlameDra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking knew it. Fucking Ybor city man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
foofdawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just FYI, Florida is pretty crazy but we also have what are known as "sunshine laws" which make almost everything public.
ItsLSD ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:59:27 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His name is Jamie and he is a sweetheart. I used to enjoy talking to him when I went to Ybor
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:40:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew exactly who you were talking about two sentences in. He got my buddy while we were waiting in line outside of The Ritz a few years back. It went just like you said. I remember the exchange so clearly.
"Hey man, I like your shoes. Can I see what the pattern on the bottom looks like?"
"Uh, sure"
SLURP
Edit: Found a video of him in action, running the exact same routine.
Yup. For me it was:
"Nice shoes what kind are they"
"Uhh.. Nike"
"What are they called though?"
"Hyperdunks I think" (they were my high school basketball shoes from a few years before)
"Awesome! Can I see the bottom?"
SLURP "Thanks."
Then he asked to see the other one and I was drunk and in shock so I just said sure. The shoes literally squeaked on the floor afterwards. I didn't warn my friends and watched as he approached them and did the same thing lol
Vaywen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you even say after someone does that? It's gotta turn a conversation awkward.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy handled it better than I would have. He just laughed and said "Dude, what are you on?". The shoe licker just kind of stood there and smiled sheepishly for a few seconds before moving towards the back of the line.
After that, I'd see him pretty often out in that part of town, running the same thing on other unsuspecting guys over the course of a year or two. Some people would get REALLY upset about it, but that didn't seem to stop him. My clubbing days are behind me, so I'm not sure if he's still out there and up to it. Apparently he ended up getting arrested about three years ago. Not sure if it was related to the shoe-licking, though.
Vaywen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. What a strange one.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw he's a sweetheart
tmntnut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought I'd see a reference on Reddit to something I personally encountered before. I used to manage a store that was a couple blocks away from 7th ave and while me and a co-worker were out on a smoke break this youngish looking guy comes walking up and just starts talking to us about some random shit, middle of the conversation he asks if he can see sole of my shoe, not really understanding why I lift my foot off of the ground and he drops to his knees really fast and attempts to lick the bottom of my shoe without hesitation. I don't even remember what I said after that because I was so confused, he just walked away after that and my co-worker and I just sat there looking at each other for a few minutes shaking our heads and trying to figure out what just happened. So we told this story to one of our customers and they immediately knew who this guy was and told us he was infamous for licking shoes in Ybor, I really never frequented Ybor except for going to Gasparilla parades and the occasional club night with some friends so I had no idea. We went online and low and behold he was definitely well known in the area, makes for an interesting story occasionally.
foofdawg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:15:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It's out there, but a lot less crazy and dangerous than some things I see online. I don't understand it, and I'm sure he makes some people uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. But he isn't harming anyone that I'm aware of, and everyone I've asked about him says he's just a dude that has a weird fetish. I don't get it but I'm not judging if he's not hurting anyone
tmntnut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I wasn't really scared or anything, I actually had a solid laugh about it afterwards because it was so fucking strange. As long as he's not literally attacking peoples feet to get to them then there's really no harm done, it's still a strange thing to encounter, especially if you've never hear of the guy hah.
Well the problem here is that I might have a fetish, you might have a fetish, our friend has a fetish, the difference is, you and I aren't acting on our fetish, but our friend is, to unwilling participants.
foofdawg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Search Google images for "Ybor city senator castle". That's not really a senator as far as I'm aware, just an older guy that likes dressing scantily and going to raves (back in the day no idea these days) and goth clubs. These kind of people exist, are not necessarily harmful to the general public, and just live their lives while being oddities to the "rest of us"
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Scantily" my ass. That dude's naked! And erect!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
X-istenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... does it make it "OK" if the sexual assault is fairly benign? I feel like it does? But then I feel like even having that thought makes me a monster.
foofdawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably not the best person to answer this, though I'm op. If I get a kick out of shaking people's hands, or something else relatively benign, does it make it sexual for the "receiving party". I don't know. I'm willing to respond further when I'm more sober. Lol
xereeto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that counts as sexual assault, because no sex organs are involved. It's probably just regular ol' battery.
Not a lawyer though so don't refer to this comment as a legal defense if you are a shoe licking pervert.
My friend had a guy come up to him in the park and ask him about underwear modeling. Then Preceded to ask about his wiener and other weird questions. He was so excited to get to work and tell everyone. He had no idea the dude was a pervert. That dude smokes way to much pot lol
Don't fall for it. He's just a shill for big astronomy. You'll become so enraptured by him that you'll blow your pay on kinky astrological shit like double sided telescopes.
But imagine he's right up into your ear singing Wild Thing at top volume while powerfully grinding you for hours on end. I'd say you'd reach your limit at 6 hours tops.
I could probably only make it through about $7.50 worth of moon jams....
Strange that he has such a specific payment plan for someone whoโs never been heard before
I would do it, and I would get anyone I could possibly find to watch, and rent a theater or whatever it is you do to get a public space.
Because just think of it, with such little effort, you could make a man feel like he had accomplished his life goal, to spread his music to people, even if he had to pay them.
So please OP, get hired by this man and blow his goddamn mind.
But see, thats where you trick him. Give him the stage, let him perform instead of being a background fixture at a party or something. Make him the spectacle and be overwhelmingly positive.
At the very least, seems like a guy I'd like to talk to over a beer with. :D
You could sing for me for free, I donโt have friends I play osrs
BillW87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wave2: buying gf
A40 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:28:51 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humiliating comedy audition on future TV talent show.
Timerez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:46 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would it work if I asked him to sing to me, even though Iโm deaf? Or is that offensive to ask for money and stare at him, unable to hear his screeching? Lol
Feenox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanted Music with Sean? Great, Im already outside your house in the murdersongvan. Come on out, alone...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:31 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he understands no one will respond to an offer this creepy for free.
Those pictures are accurate. Sean just comes over and emits a high-pitched single tone the whole time. Even though he'll pay you $15 an hour, it's not enough.
shakm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:39:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The three little dots after 'i am Sean' scare the crap out of me
dothed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i could only imagine what reddit would have done to this guy if the number was not blurred out haha
I'd call this man in a heartbeat. Even if he kills you, I feel like getting killed by a private space singing serial killer is a better way to die than by car crash or heart disease.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tumble for ya...
JRose51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a solid Incubus cover. SOLD!
Texas392 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so he will pay me $15 an hour to listen to him sing about the moon and the stars??
Crade_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try... not getting my upvote..
swentech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of this joke...
Hey come to my party this weekend. There is going to be drinking, maybe some fighting, and sex, lots of sex.
Uhhh okay how many people are going to be there.
Just you and me...
b0red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Baltimore. One of my friends found some dude who'd do this online on skype. During raging parties he'd stop the music, tell everyone to look at the TV's in the house and come to the webcam to interact, watch and request songs. Was awesome, highly recomend to all during keggers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm very interested but I wonder if he has enough song about the moon and stars to fill several hours. I want him to get his moneyโs worth.
Average song is like 3 minutes long. I'm not sure I'm willing to listen to this dude sing 20 songs for $15. Too many bad omens in that one sign.
rissahi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing I thought of was him standing there & taking selfies of himself with that face....or if he made someone take them and he just stood there like that.....
Ill let this guy sing to me for 15$ a hour. In-fact, im going to place a contract bid for 8.56$ a hour.
speez71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope they're good songs, cuz they'll prolly be the last ones you ever hear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You will have to pay me 10x that to deal with this. Also, I'll need a provision of a minimum distance away of 30 feet and a minimum of 2 hours commitment.
WaddleD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought was "$15 an hour? Hell, that's better than a lot of entry-level jobs." Then I realized that $15 for an hour of listening someone sing poorly (which, who knows, maybe he's good) is way too little.
Interesting way of marketing. Maybe the dude is just trying to get comfortable with singing in public. I tried out three times for different choirs and was rejected three times. It was super embarrassing and would take quite a bit to get me sing in front of others again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take him up on it.
Tell him you take 10 dollars (or 5 or free) BUT
with one condition
You can stream it...not because I want to hear but so we can call the police when your head explodes from the explosivo he's gonna give you.
LilNicca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is his session are only an hour long
Domtux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real question is if I can do other stuff at the same time. Let me do work at the same time and this is a sick deal. He might wanna expand past moon and stars tho.
h425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am Sean..."
darkon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like the moon, because it's close to me
I like the moooon, but not as much as a spoon
Coz that's more use for eating soup
And a fork isn't very useful for that
There's just one condition: is it has to be in Sean's bathroom, pictured here.
(But he prefers to stand, so you are free to take the only available seat.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great now all I have to do is try all the combinations of the last 4 digits to find this guy...
$15 an hour? sign me the FUCK up ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ good shit goเฑฆิ sHit๐ thats โ some good๐๐shit right๐๐th ๐ ere๐๐๐ rightโthere โโif i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ ๐ฏ i say so๐ฏ thats what im talking about right thereright there(chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต แตสฐแตสณแต) mMMMMแทะ๐ฏ ๐๐ ๐ะO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ Ooooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแต๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฏ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐Good shit
Saved comment
bellatron ยท 913 points ยท Posted at 23:27:57 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays you $15 an hour. Kills you for free.
Deal.
heruskael ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 02:51:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't say $15, just 15. It might be fifteen fingernail clippings.
xfyre101 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:49:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 axe blows to the head?
MacinTez ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 00:21:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, I listened to you for 8 hours, do I get paid daily, weekly or bi-weekly?"
"No, you get paid on the spot"
Sean then proceeds to pull out 957 handgun
SuaveThrower ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:30:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a 957 handgun? Do you mean a .357?
MacinTez ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:48:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you figured me out
bubbzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:57 on October 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean?
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taurus made a 957... Which was chambered in .357 sig. So you're both right... Although the 957 is kind of hard to come by. It's apparently a bit of a unicorn, a Taurus
revolverthat's actually a pretty good gun.SuaveThrower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I googled it too, but I came to the conclusion that was not what they were referring to.
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that would be really unlikely for a serial killer to have. Maybe it's a poetic justice thing? "I use my shitty gun to end your shitty life," but makes sure it's a gun from a shitty brand that actually works.
SeenSoFar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a revolver though...
btmims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bad, don't know why I put revolver. I think it was still in my brain from the last time I was discussing Taurus.
Otherwise, as a former Taurus owner, I stand by my statement.
SeenSoFar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've not had any interaction with them. I thought the Judge was considered decent...
Curlyiain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, he pulls out 957 handguns with his 957 hands.
LaVidaYokel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever it takes.
cyleleghorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The .957 magnum: most powerful handgun in the world
RinkyInky ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:45:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays you with a reality check.
h3lblad3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:38:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeimuzu9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But 8*15 is 120, not 957...
trashbagsformurdock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:39:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide by occupation.
noes_oh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, uh, normal desk job?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
ThingYea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then steals it back.
Antrikshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/2meirl4meirl
-JudeanPeoplesFront- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You had me at free
WoodstrokeWilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Killing me softly with his song... Killing me softly.. with his song... killing me softly.
McSmallFries ยท 25334 points ยท Posted at 23:03:01 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you do for a living?"
"Oh. I listen to Sean sing"
...
Edit: thanks for gold, you hero. <3
Kayestofkays ยท 5717 points ยท Posted at 00:07:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he provide health insurance?
unqtious ยท 4602 points ยท Posted at 00:12:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but no dental.
Kayestofkays ยท 1416 points ยท Posted at 00:14:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm...What about paid vacation? Or retirement plans?
FormerShitPoster ยท 2530 points ยท Posted at 00:15:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes to paid vacation but he's gonna be with you singing the whole time
keltsbeard ยท 498 points ยท Posted at 00:20:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, I'll bring him fishing with me. Don't get radio service worth a damn in the swamps, but I'll be drunk AND he pays me? I'd love to get this guy's number.
Gramage ยท 318 points ยท Posted at 00:31:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use the CSI unblurrer to sharpen that up in a jiffy.
omgphil ยท 260 points ยท Posted at 00:42:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhance...
BangBangla ยท 244 points ยท Posted at 01:14:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We found a trace of semen on the digital picture.
MLXIII ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 01:21:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhance
YoullShitYourEyeOut ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:09:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ฆ
ArchaicWolf ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:20:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The DNA found within the semen is a 100% match with former president Bill Clinton.
aftokinito ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:28:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Infowars.com
NeilPatrickSwayze ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:12:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh just print the damn thing already!
Santoron ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:35:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhancing intensifies...
DinoDonkeyDoodle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:09:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me lol the hardest out of the rest of this. Thanks for that, had a hard day :)
ThyKingdomDecay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The semen..it belongs to you!
professorsnapeswand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's...it's Mark Cuban's semen!
thedoommerchant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just kidding, itโs Vaseline.
acciaiomorti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's yours
rabbie303 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well played. I usually play the enhanced card twice a week. Oh give me the god damn soap!
prankerbankr ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:38:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a match!
Dankosario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhance!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
cornroc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are NOT the father.
Sgt_Fart_Barfunkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhance...just print the damn thing!!!
TexasTmac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:59:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bad.
nickyobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tmac, if you're gonna jerk off at work, you gotta do it in the bathroom!
TexasTmac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean said it was fine!
turtleltrut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cue montage of motivational music being played whilst the team science
plur44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't surprise me. I mean... Look at his mouth...
bokketo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CLONE TOOL
SteveZissousGlock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a match!
Soigne_Scholar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Kovic is on the job
keltsbeard ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:32:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather be paid to be drunk and fish...
Streetseeker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:53:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, your dreamjob is at a hand reach! Become a fisherman ?
keltsbeard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta be able to pick locks for my dream job....if I ever find something I can drink beer, fish, and play around with locks while getting paid, I'll be a rich man.
lazy_rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Pop-a-Lock"
Trawl-a-Lock
Pop-a-Pisces
Catch & Crack-a-Clasp
Bust-a-Bolt & Bait
Broach & Poach-a-Loach
Slug-a-Seal & Salmon
Snap-a-Snap & Snapper
I feel as though I could do this all day... We've both found our calling!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:12:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enhance
gimmemoarmonster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ill make a GUI using Visual Basic to sharpen it!
WiglyWorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't undersell yourself. I'm from the north and I'd love to fish in a swamp, assuming we got to cook it up and eat it.
Do you offer any packages?
17jetsons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, it's pronounced giffy, sir.
Swimmingindiamonds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unblurr-er-er?
dl122436 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
676-637-x6xx
OceanFlex ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:01:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A few of the numbers are fairly legible, which brings the numbe of combinations down from 990,000,0000 to like 1,500,0000
amgoingtohell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe this is just an elaborate ruse by Simging Sean to get taken on a drunk fishing trip
AlphaMill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But why would you need radio service when he can sing for you. its not work if you enjoy it.
im_hitman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His singing might scare the fish away
Kayestofkays ยท 674 points ยท Posted at 00:16:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So....No vacation then?? haha
tuninggamer ยท 439 points ยท Posted at 00:19:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... he covers your expenses though? Free trip with personal soundtrack? Count me in!
hymen_destroyer ยท 684 points ยท Posted at 00:26:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you like the moon and stars a lot
PrawojazdyVtrumpets ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 00:29:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm going to need some travelling music.
UnknownStory ยท 326 points ยท Posted at 00:32:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh... no Sean, these are... sound amplifying headphones. I just wanna hear you in the highest clarity"
pokinfolks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wonton moon, hit you eye, like a bruised peach of pi, dat's ya sakiiiii." Data yo eye saki. I socka you in da eye saki."
PM_ME_UR_YOUNG_PUSSY ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:52:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:38:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real "what" is your username
เฒ _เฒ
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are all fools! Sean does not do group events.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:56:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moon and star travelling music?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:48:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you an astronaut
FlyingSpacefrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was born in another star system. Does that count?
Mr_Naabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because I hope you go flying off into space
mah_hitta_mah_hittah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In space, no one can hear you sing...
[deleted] ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:31:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:52:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ChristisAverted ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BOW-BOW
chika- chikaaaa
jgallant1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But not as much as a spoon!
shiningPate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we like the moon
DiscordianAgent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that video is really dope, didn't know this track had such a good one. Thanks for sharing!
mindtrapped ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:04:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever since Ferris Bueller I have listened to this song, it has been on many a playlist of mine in the last 25 years. Never have I once really pictured who sang it nor what a video for it would look like. You, sir, have permanently changed my view of this song. Now, instead of the cool Ferris Buellers Day Off vibe, I will remember this odd wtf'ish video and have mixed emotions. "Oh Yeah" is now ruined for me.
horseswithnonames ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.20jazzfunkgreats.co.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/yello.jpg
Bbyboy69us ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao.... this is so perfect.
perfectbebop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WE LIKE THE MOOOOOON!
Funklord_Toejam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:00:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"i love you like the moon and stars, when little kids get hit by cars, girl you know its true".
SaltyBabe ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:14:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the moon because it's close to us.
jgallant1990 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it has got many vegetables.
acCripteau ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:39:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9MZNEXrElw
jacktownspartan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:48:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do for $15/hr.
actual_factual_bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it doesn't say dollars...
Brohammad_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Astronomer here. Iโm ok with this.
ThePorcupineWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who doesn't?
RagdollPhysEd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were the gifts you gave after all
bumbletyboop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean, dear god, it's been 8 hours--can you sing about the traffic? Or puppies? Or ice cream?
sublimelobc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Infinitely!
jaxonya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It just so happens that her name is Khaleesi. She loves hearing about the moon
SpellsofWar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of different stars, I'm sure it will be fine.
l0ngstory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be there
mah_hitta_mah_hittah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neil deGrasse Tyson quit the hustle and bustle of his hectic career to earn a modest wage working for Sean. He still gets to hear about the stars too.
PA_Irredentist ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:25:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but it's the same song over and over again.
torma616 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 00:29:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Impossible, it's never before heard!
LawlessCoffeh ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:26:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the song that never ends, It goes on and on my friend
Sloppychemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people, staaarted singing it not knowing what it was / And they'll keep going on and on and on and on because....
AlluriceAir ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its 3000 hours of the same looping chorus
TheeExoGenesauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until you hear it... Then it's all you hear
Pm-ur-butt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, he pays you your normal weekly wage but not your expenses. When you take a vacation week at a normal job, your employer pays your weekly wage but does not pay for your trip to Hawaii, Disney, Six Flags or the shit load of porn you rent for your week long jackoff marathon. Sean is simply with you wherever you go for upto 8 hours a day, singing. Then you part and meet up the next day at Seans earliest convenience.
c0mesandg0es ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:49:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just convince Sean to sing a little quiet.
Then convince him to sing only at night, and soon you'll find Sean to be a wonderful white noise while sleeping.
When he stops, you wake up, he goes home.
Vigilante17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:54:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm thinking Sean sleeps during the day so he can study the moon and stars for musical inspiration at night. You're gonna be working the graveyard shifts.
Kayestofkays ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We should probably check the employment contract though, just to be sure!
amimeoryou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personal Soundtrack?
dcboy2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:20:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless someone volunteers for them.
Kell_Varnson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well...it really depends on what song he decides to sing
Kayestofkays ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:40:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moon and stars!
Xeochron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's vacation if he's good.
Waitaha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: Im deaf
Lothraien ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 00:32:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he doesn't sing for groups or events so you just have to make sure that most of the time you're going to see a play or walking through a popular landmark or lying on a crowded beach. Then you'll get some peace and quiet. At least until you return to the hotel.
smotheryrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why you stay in a hostel
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:50:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No he makes a mixtape and you have to sign a contract agreeing to listen to it on the plane
Vuelhering ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I work remotely?
hailey_nicolee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
do you collect pension??
JorahTheHandle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give this guy gold asap!
ErikderFrosch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll do $1.75/hour. Deal?
supergalactic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diggin that username, kid.
jg1245 ยท 123 points ยท Posted at 00:15:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He matches on 401k dollar for dollar up to 50k a year.
jillyboooty ยท 227 points ยท Posted at 00:18:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I wanna be friends with benefits.
drawthings ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:24:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well played.
Locus_Ceruleus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:57:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now, sing it.
NSAwithBenefits ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:07:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm right here!
Penuwana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with benedicts*
patsfan038 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's the Chuck Norris of 401K match
TheeExoGenesauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gary needs a new pair of shoes
Woogity ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:50:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But does he offer a Roth 401k or just the standard?
xsandied ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:29:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consider yourself retired already
shiny_lustrous_poo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will he sing to me in my office?
Kayestofkays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh that way you get two paycheques! Genius!
prostatewizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian it just boggles the mind that paid vacation days aren't compulsory
neilarmsloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine retiring after a long career of listening to Sean sing
FooBear408 ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 00:15:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LISA NEEDS BRACES
SardonicVampire ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 00:17:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DENTAL PLAN
HairyDBZ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:28:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LISA NEEDS BRACES
AlmanzoWilder ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oop. lost my train of thought.
tortos ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:27:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DENTAL PLAN!!
Wabbit_Wampage ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:28:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LISA NEEDS BRACES
fearknight2003 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:29:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oop. lost my train of thought.
Bjfidaho ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:34:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DENTAL PLAN!
trustkno1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call the big one "Bitey"!
AlmanzoWilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHA. Oh, now I have to watch it.
KaneRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a chance the track will bend?
AlmanzoWilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not on your life, mein deutscher Freund!
chief_check_a_hoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MONO!
ShesSimplyThere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
laxation1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:28:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks a lot carl
HalfBreedBreeder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost my train of thought
throwinitallawai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read was "out of print
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read was "out of print
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read was "out of print
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print.
throwinitallawai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who used to collect music and read through listings a lot, I assume you meant "oops" and omitted the "s."
What I automatically read, though, was "out of print."
AlmanzoWilder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HA HA HA. No I pictured Homer saying oop.
occamsrzor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who who who ha ha ha
GiveEmThaClamps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa! You're tearing me apart!
UserJacob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Loud protesting) Where's my burrito, WHERE'S MY BURRITO?!
someredditorguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this comment is underrated
teachmebasics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean doesn't need dental, why should anyone else?
Mc-Girkk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa needs braces
disgustedemoji ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs okay, an otolaryngologist is all Iโll be needing
budaloco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No dental, maybe some oral.
ASYOUTHIA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean has lockjaw and is very friendly
UserNombresBeHard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, like my grandma has shown me: gum action is always the best.
CougarStick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But maybe oral?
Thelife1313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he definitely gives you the dental
TheBlinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd still take it. My dental is $12/month out of my paycheck, regular health is around $75. At that cost, I can pay for dental myself.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think for the service he provides, teeth are a liability
afganistanimation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like he provides oral care
Vigilante17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But lots of oral.
NerdENerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa needs braces.
AussieSceptic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plenty of oral however
-colorsplash- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
louiswuenator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only dentai insurance.
ginanjuze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dental is nothing if you have no teethe
goodolarchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would he? He has no teeth. Doesn't believe in them.
shook_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont think most people actually got your joke.
mister11th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about dental insurance?
greenman86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Lisa needs Braces!!
dapperelephant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't even have dental.
The_Real_DerekFoster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean oral, no oral.
NighthawkFliesOn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:19:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*oral
posts_lindsay_lohan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:44:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I play solo bass, and if you listen to me I will provide Dental.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:41:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging from that photo I'd say he definitely provides dental.
Therearenopeas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares! At 15 bucks an hour I'll sit and be an enthused audience.
IamLeoKim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or 401K? How about overtime?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NickDubz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Their" room only demotes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mwaaaap..."
sycophantasy ยท 680 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pays better than my job.
ShabbyLiver ยท 446 points ยท Posted at 00:39:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach public school in Oklahoma.. un-blur Sean's phone number please
btmims ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 02:02:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a firefighter in a major metropolitan area...
Pls, I need dis
punos_de_piedra ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, man. We need you. Please keep firefighting.
btmims ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:51:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I meant as a second job.
Fun fact: I made twice as much when I worked as a top helper in electrical, before I got hired by my department.
Wait, did I say fun? No, not that... the opposite thing. Infuriating. Infuriating fact.
Gratefulgangster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My area is even worse. We don't pay our firefighters anything it is exclusively on a volunteer basis. Oh but our cops are some of the highest paid in the country (starting pay for regular police is 6, yes 6, figures). Seriously wrong priorities. Split that budget.
Edit for more info: only paramedic firefighters get paid. $10 an hour.
btmims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. Where are you, kentland?! I don't see how that could possibly work. If they'll pay 6 figures for a beat cop, either COL is just that high (and every hour volunteering is an hour closer to being homeless), or they need cops that much, in which case, they should need medical and fire/rescue equally as much.
Either way, I don't see how y'all get effective emergency response for non-police matters. Must be a lot of foundations getting saved. Don't get me wrong, some places can only afford volunteers, they just need a few rescue-pumpers and tinders because they're out in the middle of nowhere and they need to have some kind of emergency response for fires on main street/houses out in the sticks, vehicle accidents, farm equipment entrapments... But I don't see how you can stay trained, stocked/inventoried, have <4 minute response times with enough personnel for "safe" and effective fire suppression... and, especially, handle the call volume of a metropolitan area. The volunteers got to pay bills, too.
Gratefulgangster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shockingly....the suburbs of new York City. Cops handle all emergency response non fire related. 911 is cops. We have no houses in the sticks, farmland, or farm eequipments. It's very built up. Fires are seen as "extreme rarity" volunteers can handle and being a fireman is not seen as a career as much as a public service you do to help others. If you have ANY concern (hurt in the house to fire) the cops are sent first and then they will request a fire volunteer team as necessary.
COL is very high. Firefighting is seen as a "hobby" after your primary career. It does not make any logical sense to me but they've been doing this as long as anyone can remember.
btmims ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:19 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The American fire service: 200 years of tradition, unimpeded by progress.
Puemor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: replied to wrong poster
Malfunkdung ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:20:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this true? That's pretty fucked. Where do you live?
btmims ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:46:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South Carolina. Good ol' "we don't need no stinkin' unions" state.
Puemor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paramedic in major metropolitan area! Same.
hilarymeggin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unbelievable. How can you possibly not make $15/hour?!
btmims ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:17:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*gasp*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha...
*sobs*
Area used to have a low/average standard of living oh, say... 25 years ago. So a little above minimum wage plus some built in overtime because of the scheduling wasn't too bad, you could have a cheap place by yourself, most guys would work b-shift jobs to make a little more so they could have nice things and afford kids. But property values just kept going up, small set-back during the bubble, but not much of one since the area is a peninsula, islands, and some inland... You can only go three directions to expand. None of the departments are really paying what guys need to make to afford housing, so it's living with roommates or drive an hour to get to the edge of civilization, where you can find 100k houses.
This year, my department basically gave everyone a 2% raise and no cost of living increase. 2% barely even keeps up with inflation... We have a battalion chief that is basically working full time as a transfer paramedic at one of our big hospitals just to afford living 30 minutes away.
goodolarchie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:46:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unblur this nefew
Mister-E42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao
hilarymeggin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't clear $15/hour, that's criminal. Truly.
OctopusPopsicle ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 00:16:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is sadly true for me as well.
KushedCudiV2 ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 00:28:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I make more now than what he is offering but this sounds a hell of a lot better
GuyBanks ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 00:31:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look at moneybags over here making 29k+/yr
HerrXRDS ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 00:59:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must have that BS degree and 7 years experience required. Get your $60,000 student loan and you can get there too.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or he just lives somewhere better than the US - In Australia the national minimum wage is currently $18.29 per hour or $694.90 per 38 hour week.
_My_Angry_Account_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been to Australia but I've heard people mention that although the minimum wage is higher, so is the cost of living. How true is that?
My total monthly expenses are about $1,400USD in Los Angeles, CA. That includes rent, utilities, car (insurance, gas, registration, maint, etc...) and food. That means I need to earn $16,800 a year just to sustain my lifestyle. What would that cost in any major city in Australia?
Minimum wage here is $10.50/hr and is increasing yearly till 2022 when it reaches $15/hr. According to this, at $10 an hour a Californian's annual income for full time minimum wage work is about $20,800 and at $15 it would be around $31,200. In either case, I would have left over spending/saving money every month assuming I get full time employment.
Which brings me to another question, what is the job market like in Australia? How easy is it to find and maintain a full time minimum wage job? Here in the US, we have issues where businesses maintain a crew of part time employees/assets so they don't have to offer full benefits (FMLA only applies if you work more than 1,250 hours in the last 12 months) and it makes them more resilient to the affects of turnover.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep our cost of living is higher - in a major city, could could expect to pay at least $200 a week for a room in a share house, or $300-$600 for a unit/house. Food is around $100 per person per week, though you can get that down if you shop smart, a tank of fuel is about $60, rego about $800 a year, insurance depends on whether it's comprehensive or not, mobile phone bills are around $50 a month (if you own the phone outright), utilities are pretty expensive.
But our quality of living is good. Universal healthcare, free public education, paid maternity leave, university is much cheaper, job market is pretty good - I think our unemployment rate is around 5%?
The problem of employers hiring casuals to avoid sick leave/etc is a thing here too, but casuals get paid more per hour as compensation for that
castille360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If accurate, that's actually a lot less than a major US city, where housing is going to cost you more than 1k monthly for a one bedroom apartment. Food maybe more. I think 250/mo for a single person is moderate in the US, but not so much as to make up for the substantial housing cost difference. Then consider how much we're spending on healthcare which you can estimate coming in between 5 and 9% of your income at average to lower incomes. Our other big expense is transportation, and it doesn't seem like that's something that's going to be much more or less expensive.
odaeyss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're totally neglecting taxes, gonna be falling pretty short there. you owe the gov't a good bit of those wages. figure on only getting about 3/4 of whatever you earn, 10/hr is gonna be more like 7.50/hr take-home, and if thats full-time you're still only looking at 15k/yr
IckySmell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhh your going to start an argument that somehow will keep circling between kids jobs and McDonaldโs
baildodger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But with the exchange rate, isn't that about tree fiddy USD?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get outta here monster! I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!
Blarghinston ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:35:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You jealous? You sound jealous.
xenoxide21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should have gotten a relevant degree then if you're that jealous
ponyplop ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares about 'relevant' degree. Any degree will do, most employers care more about relevant/previous work experience, which makes it a bit of a catch 22...
Xels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have no BS and no student loans but I make 24/hr in a tech field. Its possible but probably not common :-(
theryanbomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trades are an easy way to get a job without student loans. Most places in Canada the starting wage for Electricians is around $19.
here2be2see2thee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BS here, came out making 60k. Florida public university and racked up only a 18k in debt. I mean, stop being lazy and take more than liberal arts math and you too could have a BS.
iamblackbrandon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:00:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhh, donโt tell them. Theyโre gonna saturate the saturated market.
Jokes aside, not everyone is meant for STEM. The same reason I canโt be bothered to write an essay about anything is probably the same reason others canโt be bothered to understand how bits and numbers format their emojis.
iLov3Ram3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's salty they didn't get past highschool.
UltraSoundMind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the term salty used like this.
ford_racer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$31,200 at 2080 hours a year (40hrs x 52 weeks a year)
Chem_is_tree_guy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:46:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus people. Hours did it come to this?!
SaladBurner ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you haven't heard sean sing
madepopular ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:48:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. And have you ever had someone you know sing to you one-on-one? For even a few minutes? Super uncomfortable.
Dason37 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that's the thing, you don't know him. But when he breaks big after all the practice he paid you for, you'll be telling everyone in the street that you know him.
madepopular ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose that's true! And maybe I can multi-task because I don't have to worry about hurting his feelings. Hmm, I wonder if he can employ me full-time...
talz13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you could work from home, you could get paid for both at the same time!
InvertedZebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Double down, have him sing to you at work...
[deleted] ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 00:30:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may qualify for the WIA grant which is a federal grant for 12k to learn a trade for unemployed/underemployed americans, contact your local unemployment office for info, it changed my life.
creepycalelbl ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, and look into advanced manufacturing jobs.
mickeymouse4348 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Changed your life how? I consider myself underemployed and am good with my hands. This could be something to look into
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:25:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in sales for 10 years, got fired 5 times cause i suck at sales, used the WIA to get some IT certs noe im a network admin and spend half my workday watching netflix or playing an mmo.
My overall happiness in life has increased tenfold all thanks to that grant.
FuckinDominica ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:30:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So they'll be slashing it any day now huh?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slashing what?
kyris0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:38:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The grant, methinks.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its been around since the late 90s
ColdRedLight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta pay for that wall somehow.
NinjaHawkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find your story very inspiring! I would LOVE to get into IT but don't know what steps to take. Do you mind me asking which certs you got and how long it took?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, the first thing you need to decide if you want to get into IT is do you want to be a programmer or in IT support/network administration. I work in IT support, im the guy that handles things like if someones computer stops working, or a switch goes down, things like that.
I started by getting my Comptia A+. This is a great certification to start with because it shows you know the minimum to get a tier 1 support job, which is what really matters because experience > anything else in this industry. After i got my A+ cert i got the job i have now, which is technically a tier 1 support job but im the only person in my office so i do everything a full network admin would do.
Once i got this job I was already working on my Cisco CCNA, which is a certification that specializes in routers and switches. With this cert, you are pretty much guaranteed to get a job in IT, but it is important to show competnence in basic pc support with something like the A+. Another option is microsoft certification, though i havent done that so i couldnt really tell you the best route.
Now im working on VMware certification, with that the sky is really the limit because its in such high demand right now.
You can work on all these certs on your own from your home, never stepping foot in a college or school. professormessor.com is a free resources which has fantastic videos to teach you everything you need to know to take the Comptia A+, as well as a few others. Once your ready to take the exam you can schedule it through pearson view's website, they are typically around $250.
If you have any questions, or start down this path and ever need any help, im always on reddit and happy to help, good luck bro!
Tower_Of_Rabble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2nd this ๐
p_iynx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:05:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By providing him with an education and a good source of income/a career?
SHARKEBYTE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
sweetalkersweetalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I checked, he does not qualify. Bring on the Sean
hilarymeggin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐
elroy_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop it, we all know everybody on reddit makes $100k+.
Dason37 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:54:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I die I hope to cumulatively.
CycIojesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean is Sean a full time singer? can he sing 40 hours a week?
ProMrCan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I code 8 hours per day, just get 1.42045$/hour. Sean pay damn good.
Pyroclastic_cum-fart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But will he sing for 8-10 hrs a day 5 days a week?
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pay is better, but the hours are terrible. 2 a week
Mrderp49 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too.
StormySands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was laughing hysterically at this comment until I realized this. Now I'm sad.
GooglyEyeBandit ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 00:23:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How was work today honey? Oh man it was grueling cracks beer
Hungover_Pilot ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 00:07:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That whore! I do too! You must be why he's always busy on the weekends!
JonsPrick ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A DOTHRAKI WHORE NED, ON AN OPEN FIELD!
ShabbyLiver ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:38:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE WHORE IS PREGNANT!
kneelbeforegod ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:05:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freefolk is leaking again
lovemeatcurtain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to check which sub I was in.
James3000gt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proud to be
Freefolk
theraydog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A surprise to be sure
IAmBoratVeryExcite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello there!
xXPalpatineXx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not. Yet.
makemejelly49 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing but is Dothraki whores, here! Hail King Bobby.
PissOnYourFlag ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HORDE
LithiumFireX ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can make a very very decent living in Mexico with this guy. May I have his contact number, please?
closertothesunSD ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:47:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he drug test?
SectorIsNotClear ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:35:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Please clap."
KaneRobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Low energy ๐
GretSeat ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 00:14:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He will pay me to sing to me? What
SupaSlide ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 00:51:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't you read the sign?
CycIojesus ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
actually if you notice. he doesn't specify what he's paying you 15 of.
just that you're going to receive 15 of something for one hours listening.
King_Of_Uranus ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 01:42:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 songs. Performed live by Sean with an average length of 4 minutes.
Helreaver ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:13:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a really good deal.
Vertual ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:47:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 songs per hour.
_BLACK_BY_NAME_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UNITS! 15 UNITS!
stronglikedan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd wager it's not hair.
CycIojesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he'll pay you in rice suddenly its not such a great deal is it?
AnnaDrawl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 rice per hour
hazysummersky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All 4 One and John Lennon come to mind..
ProMrCan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ops, I've just check it again. He didn't notice that what 15 thing we could get. LOL
Ravenplague ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder when the cops will find all the bodies
The1dookin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If there's OT count me in.
budgie0507 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a 401K with company match?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pays above minimum wage too!
Marz-_- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he pronounces it seen not shaun too.
MBG612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
protest this man needs a living wage /s
Rakmdom99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you get paid?" 15 an hour. "Fifteen what?" Just... fifteen.
moonmanchild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I couldn't imagine myself listening for even a single hour, let alone making a living from the Awkward Stylings of Sean.
ShabbyLiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach public school in Oklahoma.. un-blur Sean's phone number please
Neutral12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is a typo. It is you will pay him $15/hr
ianeldridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a lot of stuff I've seen on the internet has made me literally lol but you did it!
dallibab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Already heard it spase pepole https://youtu.be/wCUQbL7YKLM
BleepVDestructo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beats my lottery winnings.
Pretty_Fly_For_A_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if you get raises, like, 'You've been listening really well lately, you deserve a $2/hr raise, I like to promote a positive work environment'
Pseudonymble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will Sean be singing 40hrs/wk and offer vacation/sick days?
Most importantly, do I just have to listen to him (no funny stuff, Sean!), and do I have to only listen to Sean? Ideally Sean could sing at me while I watch Netflix or browse Reddit.
GoodScumBagBrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe looks like a Sean Sing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1-888-SEAN-SING
kenman345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully this gets you one extra song. u/tippr $4
tippr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/McSmallFries, you've received
0.01110198 BCC ($4 USD)!Howย toย use | Whatย isย Bitcoinย Cash? | Whoย acceptsย it? | Powered by Rocketr | r/tippr
Bitcoin Cash is what Bitcoin should be. Ask about it on r/btc
NoSuchAg3ncy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a scam. You have to pay him $30/hr to stop singing.
AlexInNapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm deaf. Can I work overtime ?
Chavezjc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
<:0
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, did you ever expect this to be your top comment?
Arcturiss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're making me question the pronunciation of sean more than i already was
techuck_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15ยข/hr isn't much of a living
Trump_2Terms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean's mouth says otherwise.
GolgiApparatus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to Sean Sing sing...
bkushigian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a subreddit for comments that are more popular than the op?
bkushigian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cuz if so, /r/whateverthatredditis
the_front_fell_off ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't specify what he pays with, after an hour of agony you might be 15 bottle caps richer...
verdigris2014 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surely this is a joke or revenge by someone who know the guy.
ArtKommander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't have blurred the #. This guy could be sitting on more work/debt than he can handle! : )
Tundra14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oddly enough, if you find somebody with that kind of worth, and they want you to do something odd like this, it's possible.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my dark mind I imagine this happening and a month into it /u/McSmallFries ends up killing Sean out of insanity.
BriBellaBeauty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a clue. He's in Michigan. Ahahahaha
Baron_Blackbird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pay is 15/hr...could be 15 hugs...or stabbies.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really?
Spatula151 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edit: you listen to Sean saaaang
Grymey_Slimez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Have you seen Sean Singh?'
'No but I've heard him.'
imtinyricketc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDumplestein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if his name...is SEAN SINGH.
wrainedaxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be really honest. If you gave me the poster and told me to tell you what his name was, Sean would be like guess 8,704.
AllYourBaseAreShit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do i get a severance package when I get tired of him?
ayatollahdanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LMAOOOOO
Dioapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he sings for 59 minutes and then walks out.
Highasgiraffepussy88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean Sing FTFY
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 7437 points ยท Posted at 20:40:45 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait wait wait... He pays you? Can I rub his shiny head while he does it?
PM_ME_CHUBBY_BOOBS ยท 4762 points ยท Posted at 21:04:43 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you let him pay you extra
SmokeyBare ยท 2283 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$2 to look at it
$3 to touch it
$5 to touch it while he looks at you
[deleted] ยท 575 points ยท Posted at 21:15:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a ZJ?
oscarveli ยท 867 points ยท Posted at 21:16:32 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you have to ask, big man, you can't afford it.
OhSoSorryWrongHole ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 22:50:27 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what can you get me for about 3.50?
hobbs522 ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 23:02:43 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off you monster from the Pliestocene era
blownZHP ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 23:48:32 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave him a dolla
602Zoo ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No wonder he keeps coming around
_duncan_idaho_ ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:02:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blownZHP gave him a dolla
G0PACKGO ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:12:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought heโd go away
42reasonsforevrythng ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, of course he's not gonna go away, G0PACKGO! You give'm a dolla, he's gonna assume you got more!
PoopStainMcBaine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He thought you'd go gay.
h3lblad3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duncan Idaho, in the flesh? I thought you were dead!
_duncan_idaho_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just another clone.
munkey13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walk without rhythm and you won't attract the worm.
Maester_May ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:43:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit woman, now he just gonna come back for more, now that he know you got moneh!
sumpfkraut666 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:01:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard there are some nice girl scouts around that sell cookies for exactly that amount.
KenGriffythe3rd ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:30:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well it was about that time I realized it wasn't no Girl Scout at all but an 8 story tall crustacean from the paleolithic era
mtilleymcfly ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:25:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw she was so adorable with her pigtails and all
darthrobot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:19:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tree fiddy? He will hum a few bars. Your money will be direct deposit.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
curiouslyendearing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/6a3BGs1uxfg
raasclarrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks!
nightfall6688846994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/6a3BGs1uxf
Here ya go
absurdio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What can I get for ten dollar?
PissOnYourFlag ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nothing for $3.50.
but for tree fiddy we can work it out mane.
KeysKeeper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The right hole.
OhSoSorryWrongHole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
aren't they all?
UncleTedGenneric ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:27:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BACK THE FUCK OFF, ANTONIO! THIS ONE'S MINE!
Jimmy__Thunder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OoooooOOOooo
numbernumber99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*"That's my dick!"
camouflagedsarcasm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I have to ask, he can't afford it...
(He's paying by the hour remember)
Amm0sexual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got four dollars.
MrFman4000 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:09:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Jeep Grand Cherokee
Ornlu_Wolfjarl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go watch Beerfest man
_trailerbot_tester_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm a bot! The movie you linked is called Beerfest, here are some Trailers
hambo_888 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:16:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ZJ's are good, but my heart will always be with the XJ.
h3lblad3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:30:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, Xjibit.
MrFman4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaddya think my daily is? '01 on 33s with 7.5" total lift. Love my XJ to death
EatSleepJeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WJ still the best Grand of them all. Would love to add a 2 door XJ 5 speed to my collection.
StreetRat13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have one, it's an awesome xj.
Icandothemove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zombie job.
magicbookwerm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's a Jeep thing.
Anynamethatworks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the generation of Jeep Grand Cherokees from '93-'98 .
Campeador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ze jermans
Anomalous-Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am going to tell myself I'm not going to look that up and stick to it for a bout 3 hours.
deeds184 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carl?
Lord_Sharts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pff like you have enough money to Zamboni that beautiful head...
MrDeez444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A ZJ is when you receive oral sex from a Caucasian Zimbabwean prostitute as she balances a basket of fruit on her head, and for each piece of fruit that falls from the basket, a $5 discount is rewarded.
Perverted_Fapper ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:01:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I pull the zipper up while my cock is hanging out then try to jerk off and cum before the blood loss makes staying erect impossible.
DuchessofSquee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:07:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.... ๐ฏ
Dogfish90 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:44:35 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$10 to look at yourself in the reflection.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:41:58 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TKJ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$25 to touch it while he sings for you twice
CommanderGumball ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No thank you, and bad math.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$50 for a full musical with song and dance.
SmokingSamoria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
evousenet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What? You thought those were ding dong prices?
BadWithScript ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:08 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, my uncle always says that!
Titi-caca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs what the priest said to the altar boy
uncle_Vernon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
End of list
PizzaWithKetchup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew there was a catch!
Spock_Rocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The singer looked at you? Sarah, get me Superintendent Chalmers!
PaulTheOctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, still making $8/hour if you go big baller style. Seems worth it.
airconditioningboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
while he faps to assert dominance
O_Howie_Dicter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$10 to touch it while heโs touching his toes $15 to touch it while heโs touching your toes
PrekDropout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like I'm breaking even every hour
BasedHyoseong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15 to stick a plunger on it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a mouth photo that shape it was never only going to be singing...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, Sean, so now show us what your 'blowjob face' looks like...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The kind of advert that couldn't easily be retitled
my_name_is_anon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also it depends on what you rub it with. ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ข
KetoClutch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what she said
yesididreddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:21:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm cringing
kdawg8888 ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 00:15:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is a good thing Sean included pictures of himself singing for proof.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_BOOBS ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 00:16:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't wanna get scammed and have him pay you for nothing
Dracofav ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still, it's just a picture. How do we know he's not Milli Vanilli-ing us?
madd74 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:32:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny you say this, as it reminds me of the time I went to New York back in 2001. I saw a sign and it was a guy saying for $2 you could yell obsinities at him. It was beyond crazy.
brosef31 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:58:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$2?! Shit, and here I am doing it everyday for free.
raasclarrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some parents are paid by the government to do dis
asdf3730 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:15:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ever get any nice chubby boob photos?
PM_ME_CHUBBY_BOOBS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check my post history, I post the ones I'm allowed to
funbotter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat I can't believe people are actually sending you their tit shots!
PM_ME_CHUBBY_BOOBS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol some people like showing off, some people wanna reward a good joke, and some people think it's some dirty thing
Infidelc123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:04:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any luck with that name? Asking for a friend.
PM_ME_CHUBBY_BOOBS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:05:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check my post history, I post what I'm allowed to
Infidelc123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not bad, not bad.
Mjolnir12 ยท 430 points ยท Posted at 21:07:40 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
65% chance he also murders you though
Scamperillium ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 21:24:51 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, getting paid $15/h and be sung to while you die is a fair price. Real question is what his 401k is like.
ke11y24 ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 23:00:59 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well said. Thousands die every day without a song about moons and stars.
SCStrokes ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 00:35:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An original song about the moons and stars
Elmekia ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 01:50:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never heard before (By anyone still alive)
tambourinequeen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:10:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never Before Heard
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Itilvte ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not dying, you're aliving, more and more slowly until you'll alive no more.
yorkeller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It only says "15/hr", it could be 15 anything!
Scamperillium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could settle for 15 original songs per hour, secretly record them and post the recordings as music videos with various landscape photos on YouTube and make more profit from ads
EraserOfNegComments ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He doesnโt match
the_original_Retro ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 21:14:50 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you bring a "friend" that runs slower than you.
And by "friend" I mean "nemesis". Lose enemy and get paid. Two birds, one stone.
nuerion ยท 170 points ยท Posted at 21:23:27 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1on1 only
the_original_Retro ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:38:57 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subcontract then.
hell2pay ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:21:22 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could tell them they will get $10/hr to just stand, you make $5 and asshole is gone.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I need my asshole.
kiplos ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:12:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need your asshole aswell.
Trisa133 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:13:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless youโre a girl. You don't poop anyways.
The_Togi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like 1v1 me only.
Warhawk137 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 22:38:54 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If your nemesis accepts your invitation to a private singing performance by a dude who put up signs on telephone poles, it's probably a one-way rivalry.
the_original_Retro ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:40:30 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hrm.
Listen, wanna go to a, um... concert? I got a ticket here. It's not only free, the solo act will actually PAY you to go.
Warhawk137 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:48:13 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were my enemy, I'd be de-listing my phone number after that.
the_original_Retro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:06 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really help since your enemy already has your number...
raasclarrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just lost a hundred dollar bill right over here
Desaicrator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:11:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy plots.
gillababe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two birds stoned at once
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless he prefers the challenge. Why go for chop liver when you can have steak?
Overladen_Prince ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like getting two birds stoned at once.
Kindofsickofyou ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 00:05:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
30% chance he wears your skin around like a costume.
vector_ejector ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 00:09:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It rubs the lotion on its skin or I'll sing the song again
Kindofsickofyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"YOU DONT KNOW WHAT PAIN IS!"
oshinjite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
70% chance the skinsuit he's wearing right now was fashioned from his most recent victim
NinjaLanternShark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fact in the poster photos he's wearing the last guy he sang his murder song to.
Drawing_Eh_Blank ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:41:17 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm.. do I get to pick the song I die to?
Mjolnir12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:11:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's "Stuck in the Middle With You"
brosef31 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, thanks. I needed that song stuck in my head. /s
Tyler1986 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:15:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else will the songs remain never before heard?
VonBHorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For a song about the moon and stars AND $15?! I'll roll those dice.
EatSleepJeep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's never been heard before. You'd be the first.
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:04 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worth it. 100% of singing tho which would be kinda nice to be murdered to.
CommaHorror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
65% chance the first time or after a nice, long career with this sexy fucking, man.
Viking_Mana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to listen exclusively to live songs about the moon and stars for an hour then I'll thank him to end my life.
Wyle_E_Coyote73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
90% chance he wears your skin after the deed is done.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He posted pictures of himself singing, not staring crazily at the camera. This dude is legit.
gateguard64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much does that percentage go up, if you order up a paid massage off of Craigslist, while listening to Sean sing?
ThanosDidNothinWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm... Save or die at DC 14? I'm okay with those odds
Mjolnir12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's like Power Word Kill, there is no dc.
ThanosDidNothinWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, at 65% chance, the odds are the same as saving on a DC 14 with no bonus
Mjolnir12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the 65% chance comes from the chance of having under 100 HP. If you do, you die. There is no DC Sean's 9th level power song kill.
ThanosDidNothinWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not proposing a rules mechanism, I'm just saying the odds are identical to something I can relate to
notanothercirclejerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly this feels more like a fetish thing. He might know he is really bad and likes humiliation play.
kyuuri117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heโs probably a college performing arts student looking to help break issues with nerves.
Honkadoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, ya gotta crack a few eggs to, uh, make dough?
Angsty_Potatos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A little murder never hurt anyone. Where's your sense of adventure?
raasclarrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're saying there's a chance XD
just_smellzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:39:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
only a 65% chance of murder? that is a 35% chance of hearing musical genius. Worth it!
lunarNex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the song has a "happy ending".
AnthonyChristopher ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 21:27:02 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/apMHhqG
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:32:45 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How I see myself.
lnsert_Clever_Name ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many phones have you sold
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:46:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This year so far new activations 187. Upgrades 191. Currently 190% over sales targets I'm #1 in my region.
Opset ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...On a motherfucking cop!
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blap blap bitches.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bald man and this offends me. Unless you're hot, then I like it.
AimlesslyCheesy ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:41:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He might close his mouth.
regoapps ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 00:11:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing that his Tinder profile hasn't been working well, since he's a bald Asian male. He thinks his singing skills might be enough to woo a girl, though. Problem is that Tinder doesn't allow audio/video. So he's forced to now pay for girls to listen to him sing in hopes that one day a girl will hear his voice and swoon.
HughJorgens ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 00:26:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean has a plan and he's making it happen.
regoapps ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 00:33:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of hope that it works out for him, though. As a fellow Asian male, I know how brutal Tinder can be. And to be bald on top of that? Man...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:01:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
regoapps ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:15:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it exists, but it's very rare. And be ready to compete with a lot of Asian guys for that one girl.
On the other hand, White males with Asian fetish is huge. They're actually the most common interracial couple in the U.S.
Asian males with white girls, though... not so much. Or at least not so much where I live.
But it's not just happening to me. Look at this OkCupid study
White girls rate Asian males 14% less than the average score.
So, you might say, "Well, date Asian girls then."
Well, Asian girls rate White males higher (+14%) than they do with Asian males (+7%).
The only group more screwed than Asian males in the dating world in the U.S. are Black women.
its_a_me_garri_oh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:37:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asian guy here- good thing I'm into black women. Rubs hands like Birdman.
regoapps ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you if you look at the chart, Black women don't prefer Asian males, too. They prefer Black males. Only Asian girls prefer Asian males over the average male, but they also prefer White males over Asian males.
funbotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh I think I disproportionate number of black women have Asian fetish. Gotta find the ones who are into anime and K-pop and stuff.
It's sad that y'all get short shrift, tho, and have such a difficult time in general. Fwiw, I'm an Asian woman and at least half of my male cousins are dating or married to white chicks. So....it still happens quite a bit.
ace66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I can see from this study is that if you're a black woman you are screwed.
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you're not a White male.
wreckitrawls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends where you are. There are a lot more white women with yellow fever here on the west coast. I know plenty of AMWF relationships and marriages.
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on how progressive the area is and how integrated Asians are in my opinion. Is there are large Asian community in your area? That's probably why. Here in Florida, I'm the one only Asian male probably in a 5 mile radius (minus the tourists).
wreckitrawls ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:26:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Progressive and integrated. I've spent time in Georgia and the Carolinas and understand how it is there. Here in Seattle most white people know the difference between Chinese, Korean, Filipinos, Viet, etc and their cuisines. I feel like the east coast, while has large minority groups like in NYC or Boston aren't very integrated.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wreckitrawls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's what I noticed about NYC. Everyone might have a friend or two from a different ethnicity but people usually stay within their own cliques. You can say that about LA to a point like certain areas are more vietnamese like Westminster or Chinese like Hacienda Heights, etc but I feel like in Seattle there are more mixed ethnic groups of friends. I'm Korean but my wife is Viet.
GuythrustDeepwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it exists there is someone with a fetish for it. If it exists in the billions there has to be at least a couple of people with a fetish for it.
gateguard64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, there it is. I really should read through the comments first.
AnxiousAncient ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with being bald?
regoapps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with it. Just that women don't find it more attractive.
Source: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/10/bald-men-more-masculine-less-attractive/
AnxiousAncient ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not according to this study.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/4469188/bald-men-perceived-more-attractive-confident-dominant-study/
regoapps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're both quoting the same study if you click the source.
Straight from the source study:
You should also note that "The Sun" is a tabloid in the UK, and shouldn't be taken seriously. They probably didn't even bother reading the whole study before writing their click-bait article.
AnxiousAncient ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah you seem to be correct despite several recent 2017 articles claiming the study to be 'new,' however what people find attractive is subject to change.
Perhaps 5 years later women in Pennsylvania do actually prefer bald men, or women outside of Pennsylvania. I wouldn't take that particular study too seriously.
phayke2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's a cancer patient. Not many bald males without eyebrows too. Maybe he wrote these songs while in the hospital alone and just wants one person to hear them before he dies. So he is paying 15 an hour because he has like 200 bucks and one day left to live.
I mean shit your guess is as good as mine on this one.
HairyDBZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masuka!
gateguard64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly specific guess.
5meterhammer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:08:06 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you slather it in oil first.
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:32:26 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great I'll bring the oil.
5meterhammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:34:16 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no, he brings his own. He's there to please.
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:35:18 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome that's what I like to hear. Maybe he needs a new phone hmm..
d-scott ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell yeah
riegspsych325 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
like in Seinfeld?
5meterhammer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly like Seinfeld.
riegspsych325 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice
TinFoilRobotProphet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:10:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kiss it. Taste like a peanut
theforkofdamocles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this part used to be pizza!
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:x
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably only one 1 minute song. You aren't going to get 8 hours of singing
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either or it's worth it.
ConfuzedAndDazed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh yeah I walked into that one.
Funkit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:30 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you say "I wish I had a watermelon" while doing it
foreigngamer92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He never specifically states 15$ per hour. Just says 15/hr, wonder what this 15 per hour is he's giving...
carnylove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's 15 songs.
xsandied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He might charge you for that
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine he doesn't have to pay me we can do a straight across trade. Song for head rubs.
xsandied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rub a dub dub
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wubalubadubdub
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No this is Patrick.
merblederble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. 15*/hr
*ยข
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_sell_phones_ama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 songs an hour maybe?
the_far_yard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you want to turn on the Auto Tune.
IDontReadTheTitle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't know what he pays you 15 of though.
I'm hoping for Sean quarters
InfiniteZr0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. But you also have to pay him $30/hr
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can show you the world
Mazz132 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll sit on your lap for free
belortik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'd be gross. Your hands would be covered in oil.
jimmyjames1992 ยท 2485 points ยท Posted at 20:47:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an oddly specific fetish
TooShiftyForYou ยท 688 points ยท Posted at 20:57:47 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly this gives him an o-face.
jimmyjames1992 ยท 353 points ยท Posted at 21:02:51 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/RJ6S6eY.gifv
imliterallyfive ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this actually from? I feel like I've seen it a thousand times over like a decade but I've never seen a source.
the_dude_upvotes ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 23:53:25 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a remake of Howard The Duck
rrr598 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:37:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DUCKTITSTM
the_dude_upvotes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that like duck tales after dark?
rrr598 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look it up, you won't be disappointed. NSFW obviously.
irisuniverse ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha oh my word.
frakimus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no. I know I'm going to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep because I'm going to think of this comment and start laughing
the_dude_upvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome?
Sorry?
Both?
CommanderPsychonaut ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 23:54:20 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
America's Got Talent, I believe
-ineedsomesleep- ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 00:21:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close. It was Australia's got talent.
I remember this guy from the TV ads... they spammed the hell out of 'em.
ShakespearInTheAlley ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:40:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought he didn't look American.
alanwashere2 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:15:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People say I'm racist. But I can always spot an Australian.
AnotherClosetAtheist ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:45:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
straya parliament convenes for war council
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:02:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta love our cock noses
AnotherClosetAtheist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fuckin oath
FuzGoesRiding ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:25:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Either way, he definitely plays a classical instrument.
Plusran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs the boomerang
Hairless-Sasquatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fo me its super easy to spot an Asian from the back.
Black, straight hair
Small frame.
STOPPED DEAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SIDEWALK TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE C.N. TOWER. MOVE.
They have absolutely zero sense of spatial awareness. Is it the narrow eyes making them unable to see around them?
Do Asian people have constant tunnel vision?
alanwashere2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:43 on October 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
....dude. Asians cam be American.
SurrealDad ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:19:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair he doesn't really look Aussie either.
ShakespearInTheAlley ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:21:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but stick with me here. He looks like he's uncircumcised and it wasn't like an overt choice, y'know?
astrozuni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/jesuschristreddit
ShakespearInTheAlley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just speaking my truth, my friend.
funbotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He makes me think of Emma Stone. Is it just me?!
-ineedsomesleep- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say he looks more like a fish.
HotSauceHigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't. But why not? I can't figure it out.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
____MAGNITUDE____ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They have hamburgers and doughnuts in straya mate. Every cunt knows that.
DontEatTheChapstick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:01:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a staged shot too. He's an actor.
ItsSomethingLikeThat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:49:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now he's in an ad at Hoyts cinemas, though I can't remember what it's for.
T_Rex_Flex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:34:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens to the simple days when we only had one talent show with Dicko, Marky and Marcia?
CommanderPsychonaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, thanks for the correction. I don't really watch tv.
unqtious ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:13:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The audience shots on that show is terrible.
NotAIdiot ยท 130 points ยท Posted at 00:26:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're grammer are terrible
usernamecheckingguy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:32:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you could have made that any worse.
PM_ME_UR_SCARS_PLS ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:42:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terribly
_My_Angry_Account_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
It pisses me off that auto-correct doesn't flag that word เฒ ็เฒ
airconditioningboy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
airconditioningboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
Juno_Malone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:01:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're grammers is tearable
_Vitriol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:21:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to you're doom.
CommanderPsychonaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like reality shows like this largely for that reason.
pandymen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That gif seems to offer proof to the contrary.
grgisme ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:18:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/magikarp-guy
Scooter411 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a fish using a man's face as his own.
LilBadApple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the clip! And the commercial they made out of him.
GrushdevaHots ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:42:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZORRRR
Gonzo_Rick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that's what was gonna happen.
wpm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know I havent ever found a proper shoop da whoop of that gif.
GrushdevaHots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I looked for a while before commenting hoping it existed. Plenty of lasers but no shoop.
StealthRabbi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:51:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would one search for this gif in the future? How would you describe this? I feel like anything I"d search for would give NSFW results.
ThatsRight_ISaidIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Search for "Magikarp Guy"
ThatsRight_ISaidIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/zNJ4r1g.gifv
shakm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly didn't expect there to be another level at the end
Stackhouse_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to troll people just post an image of this instead of a gif
the_dude_upvotes ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 23:55:49 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/PMvXksi.gifv
FarmerinMalaysia ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:07:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I finally got around to watching this movie. I wanted to punch this dude in the face the most.
IAMA_YOU_AMA ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:36:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to love that movie.
Then I became an adult and now I'm too scared to watch it again.
Mr_tipco ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 00:38:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It morphs from a comedy to a tragedy
illaqueable ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:03:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually loved it more when I got a job working in a cube farm. There are just so many nuances that perfectly encapsulate how trapped you feel: the static shock every single morning, the obliviously obnoxious coworkers, the meaningless tasks, the endless staff meetings about... nothing, the "performance reviews" that are literally just your boss telling you what you do for the company and telling you to "winnovate", and so on.
If nothing else, Office Space is a perfect verisimilitude of cube farm life.
stevencastle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It becomes a crushing reality.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:58:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's "Office Space" if anyone doesn't know
wileecoyote1969 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I am totally stealing this for my own use now.
PsychedelicPill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Documentary.
Mr_tipco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually you are correct. It came out when I was a college intern and we laughed with nervous acceptance while watching it. "This is what we're getting in to." There's one thing we've got to do that I refer to as our TPS reports where I do actually have to say exactly what it is I do there... ah well at least I don't have to work weekends too often.
IndianaJwns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It hits home a lot harder, but it also highlights that your professional life is what you make of it, and remaining in a shitty work environment is a choice.
psu256 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:28:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was on TV Sunday night, and I watched it before bed, regretting the whole time I had to get up for work the next day.
aibaron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Dr. Cox?
the_dude_upvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drew, Brian, Lumberg ... choose 2
NinjaLanternShark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's the highest compliment you can pay that actor for his role in this movie. He nailed it.
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:06:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lumbergh?
the_dude_upvotes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucked her
Mr_Abe_Froman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give him a "standing o'" alright.
Mjolnir12 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:07:16 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Different notes for different folks, as they say
EdwardBil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't they all.
iCalledUjoben ยท 784 points ยท Posted at 20:49:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wouldn't be living right if you didn't call the number
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 01:00:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're either going to get entertained or raped. Hell maybe even both if actually does sing.
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 01:54:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But will I still get paid?
[deleted] ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:15:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More importantly, does that make me a prostitute?
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:29:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care about that!
sweet_pooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey prostitution is a legitimate business!
unqtious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't call my escorts whores.
Why_Did_It_Stop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In rape. Werenโt you listening to the game plan ?
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, cut out the middleman, although I have a guy I'm loyal to, so this might not work for me.
MeowlessCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right? Dude wants to sing, he can come over and sing to me. No payment needed, I'll even buy him dinner.
Wookie301 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fifteen bucks is fifteen bucks.
viperex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll always wonder if you don't call
goodolarchie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I tend to agree. Who knows, the dude might be amazing, transformative even.
SuitablyOdd ยท 299 points ยท Posted at 22:28:37 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the picture the lyrics to at least one of the songs is:
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"
Qelly ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:06:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly not. That's an 'ahhhhh' sound!
420BlazeIt187 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:58:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR"
HollowsOfYourHeart ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:05:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first time I've laughed today. Thank you :)
El_Zarco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he was gonna bust out some All-4-One
keepingthecommontone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Wondermark
Rashizar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I cried laughing at this
ponkilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am seriously dying of laughter dear god
axloc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought I was in a crypto subreddit for a second there
Honkadoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Riiiiiivvverrrrrrrrr
dropkickoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodbye, mooooonmen!
Mydogsdad ยท 529 points ยท Posted at 20:50:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Double dog dare you.
Scamperillium ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 21:26:54 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triple dog dare you
Marmite_Badger ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 21:35:02 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quadruple Badger dare you.
Scamperillium ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 21:36:16 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quintuple honey badger dare you.
Marmite_Badger ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 21:41:07 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sextuple Marmite_Badger dare you.
Scamperillium ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:46:46 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, that sounds like it could be good.
Marmite_Badger ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:50:38 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
Scamperillium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:54 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright gimme that number. I'm bout to get my badger on.
I hope this doesn't count as a 'group'..
senshisentou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Well that's in my history now.
Mydogsdad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never gonna unsee that
TheBlinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Septuple wolverine dare you.
nextgamegod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:10:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Octuple octopus dare you.
FrizzleStank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you
GlobalAnarky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I milluple grizzly bear dare you.
Wyle_E_Coyote73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honey badger don't care, honey badger don't give a shit
KnowsAboutMath ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"u/Scamperillium created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the triple dare and going right for the throat"
HOLDINtheACES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll ignore your slight breach of etiquette.
EnticeMePlease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly thatโs all I needed.
PotsAndOwls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stamp it! Stamp it! No erasing!
RamsesThePigeon ยท 4561 points ยท Posted at 21:05:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a homeless fellow I once met.
I had, only minutes prior to arriving on that subway platform, just broken up with my girlfriend. The split had been a couple of months in the making (and a much more painful process than it should have been), but it was hardly at all the relief that people had suggested that it would be. I was, in short, miserable.
To make matters worse, it had started to rain as I'd been walking back from the hotel.
My life, I was thinking, was like a bad movie... and as if on cue, a crazy character showed up from out of nowhere. He was a small, slender homeless man with a bushy grey beard and a strange kind of sparkling laughter in his eyes, who was quietly wandering the subway station with a stack of papers clutched in his hands.
"Poems!" the man called to nobody in particular. "Poetry for sale!"
As I watched the fellow meander his way across the platform, I felt an odd compulsion to approach him. Maybe it was just my despondent mood, or maybe it was something more sublime... but I walked up with my wallet out.
"How much?" I asked.
"Ten dollars," replied the man. "Or five dollars."
I looked into my wallet. "I only have a five," I said, offering the bill forward.
"Ah, okay. That gets you half a book." The hobo extracted a few pages from his stack... and right before my eyes, he tore it in half. "There you go!" he said.
I smiled weakly. "Uh, thanks." Before I could turn to walk away, though, the man stopped me.
"Hey," he gently said, "wait a second." He carefully folded the rest of his poetry "books" and stuffed them into a dilapidated backpack. "You get a free poem, too. I'll write it right now."
"That's okay," I answered.
"No, no, you have to," replied the homeless man. "Pick a topic."
As if on cue, a roll of thunder passed by overhead. (Actually, I think it was probably just a passing subway car. The Bay Area is not known for its impressive lightning.) I turned back to the alleged poet. "Okay," I said, "write me a poem about rain."
I will never forget the verses he offered to me then:
"Uh... ah... I like the rain. It takes away my pain. It makes me feel vain. Sometimes I like to ride my bike naked in the rain, and then a policeman stops me. 'Hey, how come you don't have any clothes on?!' 'I'm just going for a bike ride, officer!' But I still like the rain, and the sun and the moon, and... and... and..."
Then, with no prompting from me, the homeless guy added some kind of strange dance-step to his recital. In two jerking motions, he hopped from one foot to the other and then back again, as though he was trying to ascend a flight of very short (and invisible) stairs whilst keeping his legs completely straight. He went through that pattern several times, all the while saying "Dip-dip! Dip-dip! Dip-dip! Dip-Dip!"
It was quite a confusing sight to behold... and as soon as it had begun, it was over. The hobo let loose a single deranged syllable of laughter and bolted away, apparently signalling the end of the performance. I watched him go, bewildered, until a voice from behind made me jump.
"That was nice of you."
I turned to see an elderly woman in a raincoat. "Excuse me?" I asked.
"It was nice of you to listen to him. People should listen to people." I was at a loss for a response, so I just smiled and nodded. "Not for too long, though," the woman continued. "He was fucking crazy."
Looking back... I have to say, there was a surprising amount of wisdom in the first part of that woman's statement.
The second part, too, come to think of it.
TL;DR: A homeless guy "dip-dipped" in front of me, and I had a minor epiphany.
Scamperillium ยท 1739 points ยท Posted at 21:32:31 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was walking out of a convenience store after buying a pack of cigarettes. A homeless person outside said 'I'll tell you a dirty joke for a cigarette'.
I gave him one and he said 'what did the two tampons say to each other? Nothing, they're both stuck up cunts'.
I gave him another cigarette.
Edit: oh wow, feel kinda dumb now. I was just reading comments and responding. Only now did I notice I replied to the great u/RamsesThePigeon . They always tell great stories.
Funkit ยท 220 points ยท Posted at 23:56:05 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Around ten years ago there was a guy in downtown Orlando who used to beat box Billy Jean while dancing like Michael, he was actually really good.
Pure_Reason ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:33:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a little person in a NYC subway station dressed like MJ, singing and moonwalking
TwoBatmen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:39:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that guy! I always think of him when I miss New York.
fingerandtoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like which Michael?
ashenmagpie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Scott? Michael Jackson? Michelangelo? Michael the archangel? Michael Jordan? We have to know!
sourband ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:50:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Krombopulos Michael
AK_saurrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or pichaels brother maybe
Monk_Adrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O-town upvote
goodolarchie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we call those street performers in Portland.
morningsunbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this was somewhere in LA
ashenmagpie ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 00:24:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was on my way back from Costa Rica, I was wandering around Miami in between flights and some homeless guy gave me a cricket he had folded out of palm leaves. I still have it, though itโs significantly shorter than it was, due to cats chewing on the legs.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have one of these that a dude gave me in Indonesia! Itโs on my nightstand.
hungrydruid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he gave you a decoration AND a cat toy, really...
ashenmagpie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arguably, yes.
riko_rikochet ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 00:14:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was walking my dog and a hobo with a giant tree branch comes running out of the nearby park, screaming at me, and trying to hit me and my dog with the branch. Managed to run away before he got to me, never went by that park again.
i-am-banana ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:29:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was watching Rick and Morty on my phone when all of a sudden a hobo comes to me and kills me with a chainsaw.
28Hz ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:41:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I am a hobo.
i-am-banana ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:51:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am a banana.
voidedbygeysers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My spoon is too big and my anus is bleeding.
Stackhouse_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im a sentient homeless banana
LadsAndLaddiez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:12:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biking naked in the rain.
DeliriumSC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am feeling fast and sassy!
Within the last year, I believe, I was giving the newer Simpsons (post-movie, widescreen, loss of fluid movement due to the whole project computer generated from start to finish, I assume. Stuff after season 20) with my wife .i think it was ~season 25ish where they started bringing in guest artists for the couch gag, setting aside several minutes for each.
But this one was bizarre but beautiful. But still bizarre. A familiar bizarre. I started freaking out because his name escaped me, but as soon as it was wrapping up I got to proudly shout, "Don Hertzfeldt!!", with that rush of relief you get when finding something obscure on the top of your tongue.
Afterwards, I caught her up with Rejected (as is most people's introduction to his work) then put on his It's Such a Beautiful Day as she rolled over to go to sleep saying that only I would be able be able to piece that together from a Simpsons couch bag. It could've been something like, "Of course you can place this obscure reference". Something to that affect.
Recognizing the art style, piecing it together with credits confirming it (while having some of his work on hand) is kind of a bags of honor to me. But sure why.
I need to explore his works again. If I remember right his animation process is grueling and intense and requires biblical patience and passion. My recollection is hazy at best, must've been something further obscured, confused, or erased by my two seizures, but I think Don might have actually developed his own process. I think I recall a participating camera mounted pointing down towards something to backlight the drawings/cells and an intense attention to detail despite his characters being almost fully stick figures.
Sorry, that's just a really strong memory and moment (I guess emotionally, rather than detailed) for me.
thadtheking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my banana experience. They're both stuck up cunts!
zapwall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:02:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I am a hobo who dresses up like a clown and gives red balloons to little kids
BooDangItMan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:08:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs a lot better than my clown experience. I am a clown who dresses up like a hobo and gives red... stuff... to little kids.
moresqualklesstalk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think it was a one off or do you think he patrols that park?
While you walked your dog, park hobo studied the branch.
riko_rikochet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the park was his turf, for sure.
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:18:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont sell yourself short, my votes on your hobo experience being better
Scamperillium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well thank ye kindly sir/madame
EatSleepJeep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a large black homeless woman, who was in the midst of urinating into a storm sewer, scream at me "ALL WHITE MEN SHOULD BE TIED UP!"
I was 12 years old at the time.
Whovian41110 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what?! They? I though it was one guy!
EDIT: Iโm a dumbass. They as in singular non defined gender.
ehrwien ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
call me stupid but I hadn't heard that this was a thing until now.
gateguard64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:45:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much better than my experience. I was leaning up against my black Town Car while waiting for my passenger to come out of the hotel. A homeless woman walks up to me and quietly asks if I had a spare cigarette. I said no, and she shouted WELL, YOUR MOTHER IS A WHORE!
kyuuri117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than my hobo experience. I was in North Station Boston, MA on my way back to New York, and went into the bathroom which was super busy. Guy leaves a stall, clearly homeless, kinda fussed around with the door, makes eye contact with me, kinda smiles, and leaves. Whatever, just want to take a quick piss and get on my train. Walk into the stall, unzip, start pissing. Finish, zip up, start to turn around....and something catches my eye. There, on the wall, and all over the toilet paper dispenser....jizz. Dripping. Everywhere.
Donโt think Iโve had a worse public bathroom experience.
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:49:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that's what you'd call a sticky situation
jessatron9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are all better than the guy who tried to hump my leg while waiting for the blue line......
Scamperillium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just didn't finish, there's no 'trying' in humping
narse77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMFG I am dying. Holly shit.
voidedbygeysers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch
toohigh4anal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i just got comb guy and "if im gonna drink in the bushes im gonna drink in the bushes" homeless guy.
poonjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I gave a homeless man 2 cigs and he asked if i wanted him to smd. I had already given him his cigs
A1KMAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember going to a hockey game with my dad in Detroit. Hockey town im pretty sure the restaurant was. A "homeless" guy (idk he had a big ass fur coat and timbs on) came up and just started rapping a pretty bad song to him. Trying to add a beatbox in between every lyric. After about what felt like 15 minutes, it was over. He then assumed he deserved money. Being the spooked out Canadian white closeted racist my dad was, he gave him $20 (only bill he had on him), but heres the catch, he asked him for $10 back haha. Not really a great story but the fact that he asked a presumed homeless guy for cash back is still fucking hilarious to me after 10 years.
Scamperillium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a scene in the cartoon American Dad. In it stan, a cia agent, is watching a cafe to assassinate a terrorist and while doing so a homeless person asks him for change. He says no but will pay him 10 cents to tie his shoes. After doing so Stan gives him a quarter (25 cents) And asks for change back.
Idk if you, as a Canadian, know the change amounts so that's why I added them.
fakedyfakefake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I know the top post on /r/jokes tomorrow.
Scamperillium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad but true
/cue heavy metal guitar solo
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A homeless man stabbed me once. For free.
teslaabr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone sit next to me on the Chicago Subway in a mostly empty car and tell me about how he poked this other person's eyeballs out. He said some other weird shit too but I don't really remember. I promptly got off at the next station.
I also had a lady in Seattle stop me on the street to tell me "They know. They are coming. You can read about it in the top floor of that building!!" Points
She was definitely schizophrenic but I'm not sure about the first guy...he may have actually killed or nearly killed someone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was approached by a guy in NYC when I was there for a conference. I walked away feeling pretty sad for him because you could tell he suffered a lot from his story.. but also a little less sad because he got a bit racist in trying to guess my ethnicity over and over after I told him I was born in America.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Scamperillium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Argh, ye be a fine matey on the high seas...E!
brxson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a hobo experience I had literally a few days ago. My friends and I are waiting at an intersection for the light to turn green to cross. As I'm leaning up against the pole, a hobo seemingly appears out of nowhere, coming from behind the pole I was leaning on. He immediately said "What did one pussy say to the other pussy?", my friend kind of chuckled and said "..what?" as in it just took us by surprised, the hobo repeated himself and we all said "I don't know, what?" to his response "remember when we used to be tight?" cue our laughter immediately following that joke, we were howling. My friend says "Man I'd give you a hundred dollars if I had it on me", hobo says "Like fuck you would, you wouldn't even give me 10 cents in your pocket", the laughter dies down and my friend says "what?", the hobo repeats himself. This is where I chipped in and said "Sorry, man, we don't have any money on us, just got my debit card". Hobo immediately motions to a nearby ATM machine and tells me to go take out 20 dollars, and before I could even utter the words no, he ran off into the night, as my friend shouted out "Keep telling jokes like that and you'll have pockets full of cash!"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
some people pay big bucks for that big boy, consider yourself grateful
FinnKnite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This didn't happen in Seattle did it? I heard this same joke from a homeless dude there.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a lot better than my hobo experience. I was followed into an alley and stabbed for my wallet, which didn't have any cash in it anyways, because, really, who caries cash anymore.
kapaya28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got a joke out of it.
One nice guy chatted me up while I was smoking outside my hotel in the South Loop of Chicago. When he asked if I had a spare cig and I said "sorry I'm out" (and actually was) he said "well the 7-11 is just on the corner, you mind buying me a pack?" And I agreed because he was generating good conversation and looked like he could use a pack of pleasure in his miserable state of existence.
I was thinking maybe $10 at the most. Little did I know Chicago had recently jacked the price of Newports up to $20.
Posaunne ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 22:12:12 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was mesmerized at your writing, and then scrolled up to see the username. Gripping, as always. And I didn't know you were a Bay Area dweller as well.
Rafikistan ยท 253 points ยท Posted at 00:08:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I scrolled back up to username too, to see if mankind was going to throw the undertaker off the hell in a cell.
graveyard_lurk ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:30:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alas
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:03:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was excited for that part. First time I've been disappointed by not being dissapointed.
caffeinated-hijinx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:48:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same thing -- I was thinking "not this time, motherfucker I am ON to you!".
Awesomolocity ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:00:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Got like halfway through and was like "wait a minute"
ender89 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:44:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It almost would have been better if he had
AnticPosition ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I figured a rubber duck would eventually appear.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 22:16:19 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! The above story took place in Berkeley, but I was living in San Francisco at the time. I've spent most of my adult life in the Bay Area, save for a two-year stint in Louisiana. After that brief period, suffice to say that I was glad to come home.
Anyway, thank you for the kind words!
TheVikingCoffeeMan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:44:24 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whereabouts in Louisiana? I lived there for a while as well.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:59:16 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baton Rouge.
owlrd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:15:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slidell represent!
PsychDocD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOLA in da house- Who dat!?!?
WittyChico ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:18:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry
JoeB_88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also am from BR
pyronius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sorry...
bigbootysuzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geaux Tigers? Probably a bad time to become a tiger fan.
Jessee75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in Bossier City for about 5 years. I'm not proud.
TheVikingCoffeeMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I lived in shreveport for almost 12. So I feel your pain my friend
Posaunne ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:22:10 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man I've lived in the Bay my whole life, but have family in the South and visit from time to time. I completely and totally understand.
UnderlyPolite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I've also seen that same poetry guy a bunch of times in Berkeley.
swifter_than_shadow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I just moved to the bay area. If you want to grab a drink some time, first round is on me.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I may just take you up on that!
swifter_than_shadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:23:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Busy Tuesday night? I need to celebrate getting a new job anyway.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I can probably make that work! Drop me a line on Monday and we'll confirm.
swifter_than_shadow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got it. See you then.
SneakyVonSneakyPants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it happened in berkeley.
KnowsAboutMath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! I read that whole story, and was about to ask if this took place somewhere in the Bay Area. I used to live in Berkeley, and I ran into the same guy in the Center Street BART station. He also offered to sell me a poem. Instead, I recited to him what I could remember of The Second Coming by Yeats.
Rydersilver ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats important about the username?
I noticed the writing had a lot of effort, as if the piece was made up. It was very entertaining to read! i'm also from the bay area
clicktoaddtitle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:03:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy shares entertaining stories a lot! Itโs always nice to stumble upon them.
Posaunne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ramses posts stories and musings fairly regularly, and also has penned a book, I believe?
WinEpic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate having to do that.
"Oh, here comes an interesting story from the life of a person. Wait, first of all, is this potentially a troll?"
ehrwien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I add those accounts to my "friends" list on reddit so I cannot oversee their content.
TheVikingCoffeeMan ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 23:42:04 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that post was so beautifully written I completely forgot what thread I was on.
bov23 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:31:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while since I've read something on reddit for this long and it didn't end up with the Undertaker throwing Mankind down... something...something.
brainbound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does this shit keep popping up everywhere?
Enosh74 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What threads would you expect to find this sort of writing on? I need to visit them more often.
ragnar4king ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/writingprompts i guess. I'm not too familiar w/ it myself, but from what I've heard OP is kind of a legend around there
DetentionMrMatthews ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:52:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy always has the most well written posts. He has a free e-book somewhere called Nearly Departed if you want more.
SarcasticPickles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So this thread isn't about hobos?
Haterbait_band ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 22:36:11 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That homeless man sounds like a true avant-garde artist. Probably too crazy for most people's tastes, but he definitely seems to have that something that other artists desperately try to seek out within themselves. Sure, we might have moments of clarity and stumble into the arms of greatness, but people like that are the 24/7, distilled version of creativity that can't be stifled. They are the purest form of a drug that we all conservatively dose ourselves with, afraid we'll go mad. I wonder where he is today.
arbitrageME ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 00:10:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
only the truly enlightened can write about riding a bike in the rain, nude. I bet he inspired Queen's Bicycle Race
badhed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I suspect it actually happened and that's why the cop came.
The_Fat_Vegetarian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the best people are
Zanthrous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he's dead.
Probably.
Haterbait_band ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stars that burn twice as bright burn half as long, or something like that. Maybe in this case it's better to use another analogy.
The Bic lighter that burns twice as bright only lasts half as long.
UnderlyPolite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:34:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he's dead, the poems are now probably worth a lot of money. It would be like having purchased $5 of bitcoins 8 years ago.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UnderlyPolite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, just corrected it.
MyNameIsZaxer2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably somewhere crazy, doing crazy things.
ChuckleKnuckles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, you are really reading into who he might have been. Based on my experiences with the homeless, his erratic behavior is most likely explained by drugs.
ganeofprunes ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 23:47:35 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And while he was distracting you, the old lady picked you pockets
Its_never_sunny ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 00:06:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thought for sure this was gonna end in "undertaker vs mankind hell in a cell..." but I was already not mad about it because I was digging your story. 10/10 would read again. thanks.
Imlostandconfused ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I checked the bottom to make sure I didn't waste my time on another tree fiddy story. Pleasantly surprised definitely
fighterace00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, just read it twice
Dandellionprincess ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 00:40:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the half-book? Did you ever look through it? I wonder how his other stuff that might not have been made up on the spot was... probably still crazy, but even so I'm quite curious.
It kind of reminds me of this girl who used to sell flowers out of a little basket in front of my old bus stop. Usually carnations or sometimes roses if it was near a special occasion (like Valentines Day or Christmas). She sold them all with a little ribbon tied around the stems and a short poem (like 3-6 lines) that she wrote wrapped around tied by the ribbon.
It was all very romantic, and I swear she was my first crush (although I was only about 11 and she was 13- practically an adult in my mind). I only bought them from her a handful of times because I didn't often have any pocket money, but I wanted to make her happy and they were very beautiful so I scrounged up what I could every once in a while.
I pressed the flowers when they started to whither and I put them in a scrapbook, although one time I made her a bookmark out of some of the pressed flowers and petals and leaves, and at the top i tied the little ribbon to have it hang down as a page marker. She seemed so excited and even though I never really talked with her at length (I was very shy), I think we had some sort of connection.
One time on the way home I saw her waiting on that bench under the little stop in the rain, so when the bus stopped I ran out under the roof and sat down next to ber waiting for the rain to slow. We politely talked about the downpour and how unpredictable the weather was in those parts. It turned to a drizzle but when I went to leave she stopped me. She said she had something for me and handed me a little slip of paper all folded up. She told me to wait to open it until that night before bed. I think she was blushing and she was definitely looking away when she gave it to me, but it might have just been my imagination.
When I finally got to open it later that night it was a little poem only about 3ish lines long and I can't exactly remember what it said but it was along the lines of "have sweet dreams, and may you remember those far off worlds you imagine and smile when you think of them." On the back it said "P.S. I hope I'm somewhere in them :)
Sadly, it wasn't really a fairy-tale or anything like that, we were just awkward kids. It was near the end of the school year, and the few times I saw her again we were both so flustered that we could barely hold a conversation. I told her thank-you for the note and that it made me smile, and she smiled real big and said you're welcome! and that was the end of it. I walked home, and then we moved over the summer (my family is military so we moved quite often- usually every one or two years). I never saw her again, although if I did see her now I'm sure I'd recognize her. I still think about her once and a while, even though it's been years. I'd love to meet her again someday and tell her that the note meant more to me than she thought and that I always thought she was someone special. And sometimes, every once in a while, I still do smile when I think of those far off worlds where maybe we were together, always innocent kids forever.
DustOnFlawlessRodent ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:14:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plus some beggers get pretty pissed if they go through the entirety of a long pitch and you don't give them any money. Or as much as they think their time is worth.
Microtiger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:56:34 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. Thanks for sharing, that was good. How was the half-poem you got?
RamsesThePigeon ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 21:59:56 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually a collection of poems, some of which had been truncated by the process of tearing the "book" in half. I don't remember too many of them, but one that did stick with me was entitled "I'm Fucking the Earth."
While I can't recall the specific wording, the poem in question seemed to be a literal account of... well, you can imagine. I did my best to look at it as being a metaphor for something or other, but the all-too-accurate descriptions of both holes dug in the ground and physical anatomy made that a little bit difficult.
In other words, it was still better than many poems that I've read.
Bujjick ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:08:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute, that sounds familiar...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYsO6EcuxbM
wasteling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Dan Harmon?
Bujjick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Andy Daly's character Dalton Wilcox, Poet Laureate of the West on an episode of Comedy Bang Bang. Scott Aukerman and Jason Mantzoukas are the other people.
wasteling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a lot for the info! For some reason it really sounded like Dan Harmon to me, and I admit I've never listened to that show.
Bujjick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more than worth your time if you're into improv. The TV show is a good intro to Scott's comedy style and some of the popular characters, if you wanna try that before digging into the podcast.
Infinite901 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean you didn't keep the book?
nobody_smart ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:38:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a fresh-out-of-college kid in Boston for a job interview in the mid 90s, I spent part of my Friday afternoon (post interview) to see the sites of Boston. I was riding a tour bus around downtown but knew I didn't have time for the whole tour, so I reached a point that I got off the bus, said goodbye to the tour guide and headed for the subway to get back to my car and get to the airport.
And I got lost on the subway.
I offered a homeless guy $20 and to pay his subway fare to guide me back to my car. He counter offered $20 and the unopened bottle of Pepsi I was carrying. Deal made and 15 minutes later I was on the correct line and understood where my stop was, I gave my guide an extra $10 and have never returned to Boston.
fin.
intet42 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a residential facility for people with psychotic disorders. This story honestly made me kind of nostalgic.
Zwums ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:18:55 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very well written
BooDangItMan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:19:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. This person has the most amazing sentence structure and grammar usage I have ever seen on Reddit.
T_T-Nevercry-Q_Q ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:28:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about that last sentence though. Shouldn't it be
And not
Edit: My reasoning is that "too" is vital to the intended meaning of the sentence, and if it was extra information the sentence could be read without it.
BooDangItMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that part irked me. Where s/he mistakenly added an appositive, but Iโm willing to overlook that minor grammar error just because everything else is correct. If this was a grammar test that was pass/fail, however, s/he would fail.
MrNar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You should read some of their other comments, they've got some great stories.
Need4Trees ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:19:22 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what an amazing experience, thanks for sharing that was a fun read :)
There was a lot of wisdom in the actions of the hobo as well. There is parts of that same wisdom all around us, but one just needs to be present.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you the story of the hobo I met.
My father had passed a few weeks prior. In my clamor to mend my darkened heart, I donated time to the local shelters. Whilst serving on the dinner line, the manager called me over.
"Would you mind taking these down to Tent City?" as he handed me a tipsy stack of prepacked dinners.
"Of course," I replied - this is why I was here, to pay penance for my weathered soul.
Five blocks later, I climbed the dirt path to Tent City, a refuge of the downtrodden and homeless, collected in a single pool like rainwater filling a depression. No one knew if Tent City was created by the homeless, or if Tent City created the homeless. I made the rounds until my stack was nearly depleted, minus one final meal.
There, just down the hill from the main thoroughfare and behind a tree, was a ragged tent bearing holes blowing in the gentle wind.
"Hello!" I called, walking up to the entrance. To my dismay, a ghoulish form dragged itself into the failing evening light. His beard was matted with what could be mud, and his sunken cheeks were enrobed in a charcoal-like soot. His eyes, however, were bright with energy when cast upon me.
"Yee've brought dinner, have yeev?" His words were slurred, perhaps from the drink, perhaps from a stroke. I could not say.
With bent knee, I handed him the white carton. He raised his bushy brow.
"Eeve got some for eere, don't ye leave." He disappeared into his snail shell of a hovel, returning with a wretched bundle of fur. "I see ye heavy heart, won't ye hold this in yer comforts."
As it lay in my hand, I shuddered to see the crooked rabbit's foot was intact, but filthy. I smiled falsely, pushing the edges of my mouth up. Inside, I was screaming to run, flee, get the hell out of there.
He chuckled aloud in the fading din behind me as I plodded back to the shelter. When I grew far enough from the tent, I threw the defiled foot into the pines below with a tinge of disgust, and the brief urge to vomit.
When I arrived at the shelter, the rabbit's foot was in my pocket. As I write this, it sits on the edge of my desk. Suffice to say, it took years to learn how to rid myself of it; even now it rends at my soul. But that is another story.
lIIIIllIIIIl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:35:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MORE STORIES
brainbound ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to believe.
jchazu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in New York a guy offered me cocaine while he was pissing on a wall.
tenia92 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:52:05 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I immersed in your storytelling it came to the point I totally forgot in which post I was
CGKNrach ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:18:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please write more, I mean I don't know if you do or not, but you have a gift. You're a storyteller. I'd love to hear more of your stories
Phased ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:01:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry he is a writer.
TeshKarhann ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was so worth the confusing read.
CommaHorror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:24:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that much needed belly, laugh.
henbanehoney ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to live in SLC, there was a homeless guy who played the cello. I don't know if he would be considered good by professional standards, but I loved listening to him.
There was a probably homeless guy here who threatened to punch me because my friend and I wouldn't kiss him... that sucked. :/
ej531 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, have had a magical dancing hobo experience. I was in Russia at a cafe that played techno music all the freaking time. They had a speaker that played music outside the front door too. This old, hunched over hobo is walking by the doorway at a snailโs pace. He makes eye contact with my friend and me, and suddenly transforms into a dance machine! When the song ends, he hunches back over and hobbles away. Totally bizarre, like most things in Russia.
8979323 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a marvelously preposterous story. It's so ridiculous that you know there's at least a kernel of truth in there. Although, now I think of it, it's probably not even embellished; I've been to san Francisco.
grimster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:25:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I think you ran into Tom Bombadil.
mrhappy893 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow ...
Scrolling thought the comments to find this gem was worth it...
yopeee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:02:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened to me. I was outside of a bar with a friend when a portly drunk guy comes stumbling up. He was short and fat with a fire red beard and hair. He looks like a fat leprechaun. He was piss drunk and asks us for a cig and we both said no because the area has stray buns who can smell free give aways.
He asks would we give him a smoke if he told us a poem. Being a college kid and a little buzzed, we said sure. He whips out some legit ass heart felt poetry. He looks at us and we commend him on his art. He completely surprised us by pulling out his own book. Published and all. We give him 2 smokes and he waddled away.
My friend and I go upstairs to the bar where an open mic is going on. We were early but needed to save spots for my other friends. It was a girl, my friend and I. Out of nowhere, the drunken poetic leprachaun comes waddling in. Of course he spots us and sits down. We humor him as he reads more poetry but this time it's different. He starts speaking to the girl. He is reciting love poems and hitting on her. All good if harmless. He gives her a copy of the book and she thanked him. He then says that she has to go home with him. She is visibly uncomfortable so I let him know those seats are reserved for my friends. He glares at me and says that I need to mind my own business. He then aggressively says that if he gives her a gift and she accepts than she must treat him.
At this point he has crossed the line and she offers the book back and says she's not interested. He snaps and calls her names. I tell him he needs to go. My friend leaves to alert the bartender. He gets uup and starts swearing at me and tries throwing a punch. I try to deescalate the situation by pushing him away but in a drunken stumble he falls onto a small table on the side of the couch.
The party next to us comes over and helps me deescalate the situation while the drunk guy continues making a scene. The bouncers come and try to remove him but hes fighting with them. They ultimately remove him from the bar and the bouncers let us stay once the partyy next to us backs up our story that we were being nice and the guy snapped.
A guy in the party next to us offered to buy us a round of beers and said that we were being nice by listening to a guy who wanted to be heard. (2$ PBR Tuesdays so wasnt a huge gift) we thanked him and came back to our seats to find out that the seat the guy was sitting on was now piss stained. So we lost the seats we were saving in the first place. The open mic was good tho.
Kahandran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:10:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bro you must have the most interesting life of anyone who ever existed or you're a really good bullshitter. Either way, excellent writing.
picmandan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My goodness how that reminds me of Simon and Garfunkel's A Poem on the Underground Wall:
The last train is nearly due
The underground is closing soon
And in the dark deserted station
Restless in anticipation
A man waits in the shadows
His restless eyes leap and scratch
At all that they can touch or catch
And hidden deep within his pocket
Safe within its silent socket
He holds a colored crayon
Now from the tunnel's stony womb
The carriage rides to meet the groom
And opens wide and welcome doors
But he hesitates, then withdraws
Deeper in the shadows
And the train is gone suddenly
On wheels clicking silently
Like a gently tapping litany
And he holds his crayon rosary
Tighter in his hand
Now from his pocket quick he flashes
The crayon on the wall he slashes
Deep upon the advertising
A single-worded poem comprised of four letters
And his heart is laughing, screaming, pounding
The poem across the tracks rebounding
Shadowed by the exit light
His legs take their ascending flight
To seek the breast of darkness and be suckled by the night
Shilo788 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing like that ever happens around here, not the poet or the sage.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:28:06 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trying hanging out in San Franciscan subway stations sometime. You'll get quite a few of each, and more than a handful of folks who are purportedly both.
Phased ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
San Francisco has some of the most interesting homeless people. My favorite experience when I visited was a simple one, smoking a nice aged cigar down at the wharf just talking to an elderly homeless man for the hour my cigar burned. His stories and his genuineness were just so unexpected. Where I'm from you don't see homeless people and all I hear are stories about how they are dangerous and a nuisance, but walking around those almost abandoned streets, where hours prior a constant flood of tourists stood, I've never felt safer.
Had the cigar not flooded my novice lungs with a rush of nicotine I have yet to experience since, I would have loved to talk to him longer. Sadly I doubt he is still around as a brain tumor was ailing him at the time.
Don't take this as telling people to approach homeless people as some are dangerous, and sure many are a burden, but they are also human and may have had more experiences than some could in multiple lifetimes. If the situation allows, and one has a story they feel they need to share, it may be worth giving it a shot and hearing them out. Who knows, you may even get a story out of it.
UnderlyPolite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw that same poet with his notebook a bunch of times. I said "Not interested" and avoided eye contact. And he left me alone.
If you don't have enough homeless people in your area, we can send you some if you want. We have a few we can spare in the San Francisco Bay Area.
bartlemaster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:52:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met another but likely homeless guy once. A weird, black man.
The weird thing about him was that I remembered him. I could swear I've met him before. This man, this crazy man, is always playing Bob Marley songs.
(I think)The first time I've met him we has playing on the streets in front of a local supermarket. Singing about songs of freedom. I was intrigued, because he sung and played his guitar very well. Better than most played artists. I gave him some spares and left.
The second time I met him, I was in a very bad mood. My (ex) girlfriend left for a year of studying abroad and I felt alone. He was playing no woman no cry. We sung together and followed up with the three little birds.
The third time I met him was in a bar. He's was making people happy and he recognised me. I bought him a drink or two and he needed a ride to the city centre. I carried him on the back of my bike and he ran away from me there after telling me he was an illegal immigrant that wasn't welcome in this country. Before, on the bike I offered him a job , because I host local craft beer events and some live music always works out well. He didn't accept because "He had everything he wanted." The last song he sang was jamming from mr.marley.
After that I didn't saw him for three years. I did ok in these years. Good paying job after college, house, car et cetera.
Until I realised I had no one to share it with.
Last month I saw him again. He was playing in front of a different supermarket at the other side of town. I'm currently in love with someone again and how the fck can he be back in my life. He was playing could you be loved. He didn't recognize me but took my donation thankfully.
Sometimes I start believing in faith , destiny and souls that are tied together somehow. People make differences in your life.
lajshhdiend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed the part where singing man pays YOU
mens_libertina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/#woke
DivinityGod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like a readers digest story
hyperformer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than my last homeless story. Last time I was in the city a man asked me for money as soon as I got out of my car. I told him sorry I donโt have anything, and he said even change is fine. I happened to have a lot of coins in my wallet so I thought what the hell, he can have them. As soon as I opened my wallet he leaned over me and saw I had some crisp $20 bills.
โDonโt do me like that! I knew you had some more to give!โ
I just muttered sorry and put the coins in his hand. Iโm a broke college student and that was my money for groceries. I still help people out if they need it, but Iโm not going that far until I can afford to.
jhetts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like not being able to tell if this is fiction or not. I guess that's what makes a good story though
Samtato77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably my favorite story I've read on Reddit. Thanks for sharing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Union City and heard some hella loud thunder a couple weeks ago
cuntsaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a great writer. I normally skip over long comments like this but your story was attention grabbing. Thanks
Mindthegaptooth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you met Vonnegut!
mr_goodcat7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked your story. It was very well written
jfgao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolled right to the bottom to make sure it's not a Shittymorph trap.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting something about the undertaker or tree fiddy! Glad to be proved wrong, lovely story! ๐
OnlinePosterPerson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made my day
Zeliek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah shits been rough for Tingle since google maps. Seems cheery from what you said, though.
relevant_tangent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice story. Not too long.
iHeartCoolStuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was this in San Francisco? Three's a guy who recites poems to me outside of one of the Bart Stations.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was in Berkeley, but it may very well be the same fellow.
In a way, it would be comforting to know that he was still around.
fighterace00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are the real poet.
I kept reading in anticipation with a smile on my face for what might come next.
Reality_Facade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what a story. The hobo at the bus station on Folsom in San Francisco just intimidated a dollar out of me. I got fleeced man.
themintfreshness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt know if this is actually true, you know bc Reddit, but damned if I donโt want to believe it more than youโd think. So I will.
GoodGuyPokemoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got to rolling thunder before I suspected something and scrolled up to read the username. After a hearty laugh, I finished your wonderful story.
ikefalcon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You write really well.
nurdpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have a wonderful way with words. Point me in the direction of any writing you may have available online. Thanks for sharing that and I hope life has gotten less miserable since the dip-dip man graced you with his... magic.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go!
nurdpie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, man! Best of luck to you!
gyrowze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:23:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The interaction with the lady sounds like something straight out of Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts
thirmonk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was written beautifully! Thanks for the entertainment:)
heebath ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful writing.
Princess_Little ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got to "dip dip" and then guessed it was you. Nice read.
OreBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was on writing prompts for a minute and I was really excited to hear about the half book and my mind was already filling in some more of the story, basically the book is clearly special in some way and the rest of the story in my head was spent trying to find the homeless man and maybe deal with whatever revelations or secrets or whatever the book revealed.
Rappelling_Rapunzel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crazy, but maybe not as crazy as he seemed. He knew he had almost enough to buy a tin of dip.
monetized_account ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started to read this as if you were actually a pigeon,
About half way though I realised you are actually a human and was disappointed.
One day I will find my sentient pigeon. One day....
cynicalpeach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I also had an experience where someone, who may have been homeless but was clearly desperate (but otherwise of normal mental state), offered to sell me a poem made up on the spot for 3 dollars. I said "Sure, why not", and he said, "Alright, give me six words and I'll give you a poem that uses all six of them". I happened to be thinking about fundamental particles, so I said, "Uh.. ok, Up, Down, Top, Bottom, Strange and Charm". I wish, I seriously wish I'd had some way to record this, because after thinking for about 20 seconds, the guy proceeds to rap out one of the coolest improvised poems I've ever heard. It didn't mention quarks of course, but was about getting up after life gets you down. I told him that he had quite a neat talent and that I hoped things got better.
Plusran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best thing Iโve read in weeks
AlphaBetaParkingLot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oddly enough I pictured this happening outside the Downtown Berkeley BART station before you even mentioned that it happened in the Bay Area. Even though I have only used that station a small handful of times.
Was I right?
Anyway, hope you are feeling better these days!
RamsesThePigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually inside the station, but yes, this took place in Berkeley.
Also, yes, I am feeling better these days. Thank you!
AlphaBetaParkingLot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's still eriely accurate. Of all the subway stations I've been to, I imagined the right one, in spite of being from New York and using BART almost exclusively on the peninsula.
HardOff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in Brazil. Endlessly insane, homeless. He'd point out the holy ghost on the street, try to help me see it, but I never could. Then, he'd tap his feet in a circle, called it "steps of the spirit." I loved this guy and how happy he always was to see me. There were times where talking to him was the highlight of the whole day.
Quantumstinger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you ever wonder if some homeless people are actually people that aren't homeless and just want to fuck with someone?
memesplaining ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met you once, Ramses. We were at the sf meetup 2016 at the biergarten and you had a giant spoon
You're a fun guy, I liked you then and I like you now :D
Morbius2271 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking amazing. I've had some interesting experiences with homeless people, but that takes the cake.
My best one is when I was taking to some homeless people in Cambridge, sharing some cigarettes with a few that I knew from always walking around town. Well one younger girl I hadn't met before was there and we were talking and she suddenly asks me if I want to hold a hamster. I of course answered "ummm YEAH" and she starts digging in her large, emerging first without a fat lazy little mouse she thrust into my hand to hold while she kept digging. Another mouse, lots of random shit from her bag, and a good size rat later, she pulls out a fucking living model of hamtaro. It was cute enough to be worth having had to juggle her two mice and her rat while she found him.
innerearinfarction ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious. 10/10. You should write professionally.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! As it happens, I do write professionally... although I don't get too many opportunities to write humor, unfortunately.
Arctica23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is definitely in the top 15 pieces of writing I've ever read.
EoinMcLove ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not already, you should be a writer.
Randyh524 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see homeless people a lot while I work, driving around Detroit. A lot of them just need someone to talk to. I have a nice story that to me this year. Everyday on my route I would see this guy who was probably no more than 5 years older than me and looked strung out and completely down out on his luck. Everyday I would watch him until one day I rolled down my window and just talked to him. He told me his name and over the course of 6 weeks we became friends kind of. I would get an extra sandwich or some smokes for him like once a week.
One day I bought him a whole pack of Marlboro. When I gave it to him the look of joy in his face was enormous. I said to him. "Here Brother these are for you." He replied, "Oh thank you so much man god bless." I paused for a second and gave him a sincere look and said "I bought these for you so they can kill you brother, because that's what people are doing by giving you things you want that you haven't earned. I don't want you to die but you're making it easy for yourself someone out there loves you and doesn't want you to die. Just remember you're loved."
He said with a sad frown on his face while putting his head down, "Thank you." The next day I didn't get stopped at the light but I saw he had a smile on his face. He looked happy and wasn't holding his sign. After a month of not seeing him at that intersection. I saw another homeless person. This time it was a girl.
"What happened to Carl that was always on this corner?" I said. "He called his mom a few weeks ago and she picked him up the next day. She lives across the state and drove all the way here to get him." She said to me. I smiled and said to her I'm happy he's doing good. Wished her well then went on my way.
I don't know what happened but I'm sure he had a moment of clarity and I feel like sometimes people just need someone to talk to. Even if they're homeless.
dalovindj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moral: People should listen to each other.
/adds the TL;DR so no one need listen to the story.
communist_panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This doesnโt happen to be in Seattle?
doolyonetwothree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I was half expecting this to be about the Undertaker shit again.. Fallen for it one too many times
Daddy_0103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your story was so inspirational that I will be reposting it as my own in a month.
soundsaboutWRIGHT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No three fiddy or hell in cell??????
Poweshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Halfway through this I was almost positive that mankind was going to get thrown off of a cage in 1996
supergenius1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This poem reminds me of the Game Grumps' Battle Kid Stories. I read it in Arin's voice.
NW_thoughtful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now watch me Nae Nae
....And it was about the moon and the star(s)!
twinklex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see any wisdom there, point out to me?
Rogerwilco1974 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was somewhat disappointed that this story didn't end with The Undertaker throwing Mankind off of Hell in a Cell in 1998.
Tits4Twats ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:24:31 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wait a minute, if I know my movies you were supposed to marry that women.
Omnipotence456 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I know my movies you're supposed to marry anyone of the opposite sex that you do anything significant with.
Crxssroad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And that, kids, is how I met your mother.
BrendanTheONeill ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:58:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
man if I wanted to read a fucking book I would go buy one I could've wrote that shit in one paragraph
i am livid
Cerpin-Taxt ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 23:59:32 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still haven't found anyone interested in hiring you eh?
RamsesThePigeon ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:05:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not quite sure what you mean.
If you're talking about my previously voiced desire to write as my full-time profession (instead of via contracts), that specific quest came to a favorable conclusion about sixteen months ago. Nowadays, a significant chunk of my job involves writing or editing.
Cerpin-Taxt ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 00:10:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'll take that as a no on the writer job then.
petitbleuchien ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 21:23:39 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check the FB link. Somewhat similar to /u/obviousplant, it's a dude who makes various signs and notices, and posts them.
Scamperillium ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 21:35:46 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he makes a sign, staples it to a post and then walks 5 steps away only to turn around and 'discover' it?
I've thought about it but I'm plenty lazy. In fact, this comment was originally gonna be 2x as long.
nakatanaka ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 00:17:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
notice is also a noun
hey_sojourner ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:49:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
time for a trusty Oxford comma
fighterace00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Posts is also a noun
bulletfinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Signs is both a verb and noun too.
bohemica ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:27:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Notice as in something you would post on a noticeboard.
Scamperillium ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that makes a little more sense but logic is boring.
Sanchastayswoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think he meant "signs and/or notices, and then posts them." Could be wrong though.
xilpaxim ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that against the rules of this sub?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it really matter?
xilpaxim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well considering it is giving the guy clicks and probably revenue I would say a little bit. But maybe not.
Atlantean120 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's get this to the top
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That paper is untouched and wrinkle free. The weather there must be perfect.
TropicOps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as FBI link and almost noped out of this thread thinking he was actually wanted for murder
xltchiva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just signs he makes all kinds of great Tim & Eric style comedy. Check him out if you're into that!
staymad101 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why did I not know about this until now
TapThemOut ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 00:18:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do not fall for this scam.
Without question, these songs have been heard before.
I can see accepting $15 an hour if the songs really hadn't been heard before - but that's not the case here.
If you are trying to sing me songs that have been heard before, I wouldn't consider anything under $16.75/hr.
What do you take me for?
Nice try Sean, but I'm on to you!
rainkloud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to think that they have. I mean even if he's only sung them to himself in the shower he counts as someone who's heard it before.
shameles ยท 566 points ยท Posted at 20:56:35 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging from the pictures, it looks like hes ready to do more than just sing.
Scamperillium ยท 181 points ยท Posted at 21:26:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would that make me the prostitute then? If so, I'll need more than $15/h
radsome ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 21:31:49 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're lying
Scamperillium ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 21:33:10 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up! You'll blow my bluff.
Which will also be $15/h.
radsome ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:39:14 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before I get started... what part of the body is the bluff?
Scamperillium ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 21:40:39 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you gotta ask you can't afford it.
radsome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it.
Scamperillium ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:47:51 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell you what. Cuz you got spunk I'll give you a $2.50 discount for the next 15 minutes.
radsome ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:13:16 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You bring the bluff and I'll bring the spunk.
Scamperillium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:05 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, let's go behind this 7/11 real quick. Don't worry, that's the safest spot.
radsome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:02 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sure know how to show this gal (guy) a good time
Scamperillium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:45 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I don't get paid $15/h just for my looks
TrynaSleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then u/radsome was never heard from again
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Scamperillium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$8/45min but no eye contact.
very_Smart_idiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fine I'll do 13
xsandied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me get a fair market analysis done on the going rate
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just his amazed face at how amazing his singing is
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ever been grapefruited?
aoiN3KO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get that reference
Viking_Mana ยท 141 points ยท Posted at 00:20:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, you can either take 15 and hour for having a weirdo sing at you about the moon and stars, or you can take 5 and hour for having multiple weirdos shout obscenities at you at McDonald's.
PmButtPics4ADrawing ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:44:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there are other options. You can work at a grocery or department store and have people yell at you because they didn't read their coupons.
pacmain1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:34:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you can work at a movie theater and have people yell at you because the popcorn is too expensive.
cavsfan212 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell how long someone has worked in retail by how dead their eyes are
Viking_Mana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:34:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or because the store ran out of something they wanted - Which is always, in all conceivable cases, the cashier's fault.
And that's why I've spent a total of 6 shifts working in a supermarket before quitting. I hate people.
wintersdark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, here, McDonalds pays you $15/hour to have multiple weirdos shout obscenities at you.
drd387 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I got $11.25 for dealing with delivery drivers that shout obscenities at anything in particular.
Viking_Mana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is here?
wintersdark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alberta, Canada
Viking_Mana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:39 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, that's fine. I was referenced the culture of minimum-wage drudgery in America.
ponyplop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:14:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An* hour
Viking_Mana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations. You spotted my typo. I'm sure you feel special.
Oh, what's that? I guess you forgot a full stop at the end there.
Glass houses buddy. Glass houses.
ponyplop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:19:46 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Making the same typo twice makes me think that it was a learned mistake. I was just trying to help :(
Viking_Mana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:09:43 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not. No one who goes around, correcting other people's grammar, are helping anyone. It's obnoxious. Everyone hates it. It literally doesn't matter. You knew exactly what I meant.
Whenever you feel the impulse to correct someone's grammar - Just don't. They're not going to appreciate it.
This has been a PSA.
ponyplop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:32:42 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teacher, so it's a habit, so you can fuck off.
Viking_Mana ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently not a very good one. Have a nice day.
ponyplop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:07:21 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you.
mchannah88 ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 20:26:09 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that the sort of ad you meet the person at a police station... just in case.
oscarveli ยท 339 points ยท Posted at 21:14:37 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl who responded to a Craigslist ad from a man who claimed to be a Nike employee. If memory serves me right, his job was to find out how womenโs feet reacted to different brands of shoes, not just Nike. He had to find out whether they would sweat or smell a lot, so for $50 he would meet you in a public park and rub and smell your feet for about five minutes. Every time I see her I tell her she helped a guy with a foot fetish get off, but she thinks that he was really a Nike employee since he agreed to meet in a public place.
foofdawg ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 21:21:38 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a shoe/boot licker where I live. Haven't met him myself but he is usually found in the same part of town where there's a lot of bars. He'll compliment people on their shoes/boots, ask if he can see them closer, and then immediately lick the sole before you really have a chance to know what he's doing. He's reportedly very friendly and pleasant, and outside of his fetish, a seemingly normal fellow.
Chandranatha ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 21:58:29 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? I remember hearing about a "famous" shoe licker somewhere
foofdawg ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:24:59 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tampa Bay area. He's usually found in Ybor city which is the major nightlife area with bars
Jorahsmustardsauce ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:15:36 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly thought you were going to say Orlando. There was this pedicab driver downtown who used to give girls free rides in exchange for foot pictures.
yeastymemes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:12:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
> pedi
> foot
Hmmm
kingferriswheel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmmmmmmmm
aoiN3KO ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL there's a lot more people with serious foot fetishes than i previously thought
maga_colorado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should I not have done that?
materfuze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Floridaโs got a weird foot thing going on
unstpblpimp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had that guy try and lick my shoes before. He asked nicely, I still told him no though. I think he ended up licking a friend of mines shoe
FlameDra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking knew it. Fucking Ybor city man.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
foofdawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just FYI, Florida is pretty crazy but we also have what are known as "sunshine laws" which make almost everything public.
ItsLSD ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:59:27 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His name is Jamie and he is a sweetheart. I used to enjoy talking to him when I went to Ybor
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:40:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew exactly who you were talking about two sentences in. He got my buddy while we were waiting in line outside of The Ritz a few years back. It went just like you said. I remember the exchange so clearly.
"Hey man, I like your shoes. Can I see what the pattern on the bottom looks like?"
"Uh, sure"
SLURP
Edit: Found a video of him in action, running the exact same routine.
fallingsquirrel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:12:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. For me it was:
"Nice shoes what kind are they"
"Uhh.. Nike"
"What are they called though?"
"Hyperdunks I think" (they were my high school basketball shoes from a few years before)
"Awesome! Can I see the bottom?"
SLURP "Thanks."
Then he asked to see the other one and I was drunk and in shock so I just said sure. The shoes literally squeaked on the floor afterwards. I didn't warn my friends and watched as he approached them and did the same thing lol
Vaywen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you even say after someone does that? It's gotta turn a conversation awkward.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:06:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy handled it better than I would have. He just laughed and said "Dude, what are you on?". The shoe licker just kind of stood there and smiled sheepishly for a few seconds before moving towards the back of the line.
After that, I'd see him pretty often out in that part of town, running the same thing on other unsuspecting guys over the course of a year or two. Some people would get REALLY upset about it, but that didn't seem to stop him. My clubbing days are behind me, so I'm not sure if he's still out there and up to it. Apparently he ended up getting arrested about three years ago. Not sure if it was related to the shoe-licking, though.
Vaywen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:48:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. What a strange one.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:55:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw he's a sweetheart
tmntnut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:10:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never thought I'd see a reference on Reddit to something I personally encountered before. I used to manage a store that was a couple blocks away from 7th ave and while me and a co-worker were out on a smoke break this youngish looking guy comes walking up and just starts talking to us about some random shit, middle of the conversation he asks if he can see sole of my shoe, not really understanding why I lift my foot off of the ground and he drops to his knees really fast and attempts to lick the bottom of my shoe without hesitation. I don't even remember what I said after that because I was so confused, he just walked away after that and my co-worker and I just sat there looking at each other for a few minutes shaking our heads and trying to figure out what just happened. So we told this story to one of our customers and they immediately knew who this guy was and told us he was infamous for licking shoes in Ybor, I really never frequented Ybor except for going to Gasparilla parades and the occasional club night with some friends so I had no idea. We went online and low and behold he was definitely well known in the area, makes for an interesting story occasionally.
foofdawg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:15:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. It's out there, but a lot less crazy and dangerous than some things I see online. I don't understand it, and I'm sure he makes some people uncomfortable, very uncomfortable. But he isn't harming anyone that I'm aware of, and everyone I've asked about him says he's just a dude that has a weird fetish. I don't get it but I'm not judging if he's not hurting anyone
tmntnut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I wasn't really scared or anything, I actually had a solid laugh about it afterwards because it was so fucking strange. As long as he's not literally attacking peoples feet to get to them then there's really no harm done, it's still a strange thing to encounter, especially if you've never hear of the guy hah.
-justanothernobody- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well the problem here is that I might have a fetish, you might have a fetish, our friend has a fetish, the difference is, you and I aren't acting on our fetish, but our friend is, to unwilling participants.
IHaveLargeBalls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:52:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A seemingly normal fellow"
Licks strangers' shoe soles.
foofdawg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Search Google images for "Ybor city senator castle". That's not really a senator as far as I'm aware, just an older guy that likes dressing scantily and going to raves (back in the day no idea these days) and goth clubs. These kind of people exist, are not necessarily harmful to the general public, and just live their lives while being oddities to the "rest of us"
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Scantily" my ass. That dude's naked! And erect!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:30:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cursed_chaos ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:14:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same way you haven't. nothing's killed him
X-istenz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... does it make it "OK" if the sexual assault is fairly benign? I feel like it does? But then I feel like even having that thought makes me a monster.
foofdawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:17:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably not the best person to answer this, though I'm op. If I get a kick out of shaking people's hands, or something else relatively benign, does it make it sexual for the "receiving party". I don't know. I'm willing to respond further when I'm more sober. Lol
xereeto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that counts as sexual assault, because no sex organs are involved. It's probably just regular ol' battery.
Not a lawyer though so don't refer to this comment as a legal defense if you are a shoe licking pervert.
fallingsquirrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He liked my shoe last year!
foofdawg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll assume you meant licked your shoe, and I'm still not sure if you're happy about it or not. Have an upvote!
fallingsquirrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he definitely liked it too lolol
aoiN3KO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After reading through all these reply's only one thing comes to mind. The people of Yabor sound awesome
Troaweymon42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our guy stole shoes off porches then ejaculated in them and returned them, re-crusted.
SpockHasLeft ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 21:17:32 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And people laugh at my "Certified Boob Inspector" shirt.
I really do have a chance of it working!
regoapps ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:08:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing it wrong. It's supposed to say "Free mammogram" and then wear doctor scrubs with a stethoscope around your neck.
make_love_to_potato ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:21:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this porno
Kaeyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:55:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, me too!
...at a friend's house. By accident. And only about five seconds of it.
SentryCake ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:38:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Five minutes of rubbing and smelling my feet for $50??? Shit, bring it on.
Gross that he was lying to people though. Not cool, foot fetish guy. :(
IITomTheBombII ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:11:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I reckon he'd get a decent amount of takers if he was upfront about what he was doing. I'd do that shit every week if it meant $50 every time.
CameronDemortez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:58:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend had a guy come up to him in the park and ask him about underwear modeling. Then Preceded to ask about his wiener and other weird questions. He was so excited to get to work and tell everyone. He had no idea the dude was a pervert. That dude smokes way to much pot lol
Angsty_Potatos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless. Her. Heart.
Mjolnir12 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:06:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that would be a group event.
mchannah88 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:27:18 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, those police officers aren't part of a group. Just casual observers.
Scamperillium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:25:24 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Hey, I said no groups!'
ThePolemicist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure he wants to suck dick. I don't think he'd do that at a police station.
billzblitz ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 00:03:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm SOLD. For $15 an hour? Sing me some melodies you strange man.
-justanothernobody- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:39:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he was never seen again...
memoeslink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:48:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then the strange man started singing, while stabbing the young man, in solitude.
padremike ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:46:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone PLEASE take him up on this offer and report back IN DETAIL what the experience was like.
RunningDrummer ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:21:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dead men can't type.
materfuze ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:06:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBH if op delivered on the number Iโd Skype him and do it
ThePolemicist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so confused by these comments. The sign is suggesting he wants to suck dick, right? He'll pay a guy $15 to let him suck.
Burgoonius ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:59:37 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok take a couple pictures of me singing so they can get a feel for what my voice sounds like"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sounds like a combination of Fergie and Jesus
Kman1986 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 23:45:29 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
ElementalFiend ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:28:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT
arices ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I GOT TO SEE WHAT YOU WANT
IcyDionysus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:51:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gooooooodbye MOONMEN!
chaoism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get shwifty
DoctorNoname98 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:51:29 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody else see that Tim and Eric bedtime story with the weird singer... gettin that kind of vibe, bring a daiper
PENISFULLOFBLOOD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna keep my boyโs voice high you gotta keep him dry!
nintrader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one's a classic. Did you see the follow-up they did recently? It just might be even better.
PENISFULLOFBLOOD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna keep my boyโs voice high you gotta keep him dry!
rapier999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuh fuh fuh fuhhhhhh, trala fuh la fuh fuh
xltchiva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are the fa fa fas and the tra la las?! Your new stuff sucks!
nuisible ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:42:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like there's some very fine print at the bottom that says "and then I murder you"
RainbowDarter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that would be ok.
Kind of like a Soylent green ending. But only if they were good songs.
nuisible ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's very subjective, I don't think I'd be ok with that.
GlenlivetT ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:14:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was a hard no til I saw the songs were about the moon and stars
IWillKarateKickYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its the twinkle twinkle little star remix..sure classic song but the remix is to die for
DisciplineAccount ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 20:55:15 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Nathan Fielder business idea
DrSpacemanSpliff ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:24:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better not draw dicks...
Tensuke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:33:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You think it's funny, to make it look like I'm masturbating these two men?
thisismybirthday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's what I was thinking
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:42:26 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mfw the dentist asks me how I'm doing while he's working on my teeth
TuckRaker ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 20:42:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, he pays me? What's the number?
BucketHelm ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:41:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, he'll find you.
KnowsAboutMath ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:18:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look around you. He's probably already there.
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:01:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just call his name 3 times in a dark room in front of a mirror.
devildocjames ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:46:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
867-5309
aoiN3KO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy...
WhiteHairedWidow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
676-637
Lardzor ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:44:17 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15/hr. - That's one song.
macabre_irony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So for a 3 minute ballad he'll basically pay you $.75 and then take off. Not bad actually...I'd definitely do it.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:30:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StrategicZombies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you should get a raise for that
indigo_artemicion ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:24:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna be paid to get serenaded about the moon and stars, lol.
The_Grape_Goblin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could really use that guy right now. So broke I'm willing to listen to him....
rainkloud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't fall for it. He's just a shill for big astronomy. You'll become so enraptured by him that you'll blow your pay on kinky astrological shit like double sided telescopes.
The_Grape_Goblin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God knows nobody needs that ha.
SeanThatGuy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:22:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not ...... That Guy
_firecracker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:29:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username doesn't check out
SolelySean ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:44:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, am Sean
Marmite_Badger ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:33:26 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you sing to me for like 7 hours a day, 5 days a week?
readingisforchumps ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:23:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can sing for you while you sleep too
Memesbloke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:02:30 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite busking
ohsnapitzsean ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:03:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you found my ad
foxinthesky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/beetlejuicing
Sarcast1c_Duck ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:38:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's paying more than my current job. I don't care if he's only wearing a banana hammock he can serenade me for 12 hrs a day.
macabre_irony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:30:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But imagine he's right up into your ear singing Wild Thing at top volume while powerfully grinding you for hours on end. I'd say you'd reach your limit at 6 hours tops.
Sarcast1c_Duck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats just under double what I'd make in the same time. So, I'm sure I could hold out for at least a month.
SentimentalSentinels ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 20:51:21 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's just asking to have dicks photoshopped in his mouth.
biggmclargehuge ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:31:47 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'll pay you $20/hr to photoshop dicks into his mouth
Bearded_Toast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now you must deliver
trotfox_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:38:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He went all out with the two angles of his singing face.
superflossman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:42:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd even go so far as to call it two and a half, so you know he's legit.
FoldingUnder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That dude ain't offering no singing with that photo.
DirtySanchezPlatypus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:06:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Step 1: Hire Sean.
Step 2: Play video games all day while he sings.
Step 3: Profit.
MonkeyGirl2017 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:11:29 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I want to call & pretend Iโm my least favorite person so he can surprise them.
trifelin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:32:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Soviet Russia singer pays you.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:36:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moon and stars?
little_brown_bat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My beaconโs been moved under moon and star
kinjinsan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skinning my vic-tims
Under the moon and sta-ars
sanbabysanchez ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:43:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could probably only make it through about $7.50 worth of moon jams.... Strange that he has such a specific payment plan for someone whoโs never been heard before
tangentandhyperbole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would do it, and I would get anyone I could possibly find to watch, and rent a theater or whatever it is you do to get a public space.
Because just think of it, with such little effort, you could make a man feel like he had accomplished his life goal, to spread his music to people, even if he had to pay them.
So please OP, get hired by this man and blow his goddamn mind.
fullonfacepalmist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, according to the poster, nobody blows anything unless it's 1 on 1. :(
tangentandhyperbole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:17:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But see, thats where you trick him. Give him the stage, let him perform instead of being a background fixture at a party or something. Make him the spectacle and be overwhelmingly positive.
At the very least, seems like a guy I'd like to talk to over a beer with. :D
FatalFord ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:24:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So wait.......he'll pay me? Bro I'm so fuckin mad you blurred out his number RN
DafuqStonr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:29:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That pays better than my current job, how do I apply?
I_Am_Dynamite6317 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:36:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MAKE $30,000 A YEAR JUST WORKING FROM HOME!
Xombino ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in. I'll be killed and butchered for meat, but I accept that.
PartyHatDude ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:39:50 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could sing for me for free, I donโt have friends I play osrs
BillW87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wave2: buying gf
A40 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:28:51 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humiliating comedy audition on future TV talent show.
Timerez ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:32:46 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would it work if I asked him to sing to me, even though Iโm deaf? Or is that offensive to ask for money and stare at him, unable to hear his screeching? Lol
Feenox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:41 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wanted Music with Sean? Great, Im already outside your house in the
murdersongvan. Come on out, alone...[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:42:31 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least he understands no one will respond to an offer this creepy for free.
neverlandnic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:15:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking LOVE this
Bhaaldy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The murder and rape is included in the $15
papercut2008uk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will pay you lol
BurritoFueled ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:42:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanna keep my boy's voice high, you gotta keep him dry.
WhiskeyRadio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:54:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet this guy can really hit some fafas and feefoos.
Coragypsatratus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: Sean is actually summoning demons and can only do it one on one to possess you. "The moon and stars" my butt.
juugg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:09:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why is he paying me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because heโll just get his money back when he goes through your pockets before burying your bloodied lifeless corpse.
johndrake666 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he is going to blow you.......away with his voice!
jmwrainwater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would do this in a HEARTBEAT. Dude has to be so sincere and it's a blast watching someone do what they love.
Moses_The_Wise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:20:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I get 15/hr from sitting and listening to some fuck sing?
Where is this magical man?
HeresWaldo27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His face should be on r/shestillsucking
"When you nut but Sean still singing"
alex11478 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn 15 and hour to listen to some one to sing I went to Post Malone and I payed him 40 and he sang for an hour.
Mike_B_R ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:01 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sing for me Sean, sing for me like there is no tomorrow and the light bouncing from your bald head iluminates my soul.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd let him move in
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Jake Paul's "Every Day Bro"
thispostislava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Backpage
-> Craigslist M4M/W4M
--> Hooker Stroll
---> Posters
The microphone may or may not be your penis.
whatsthatbutt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, he will pay me? to sing to me?
Strangedesign87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone get this guy on Tosh.O
ABEARWITHAGUN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See if he'll do it over the phone. Actually can you PM me the number?
bornonthetide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's about how much I paid people to look at my art my first few years of painting.
fullonfacepalmist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now it's priceless?
bornonthetide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't go that far, but anyone would be happy to hang it in their home.
Treppyboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15$/h to just sit there and listen to the guy? Count me in
Mixed_Opinions_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this guy will pay me just to listen to him? He must really suck
Pongodiscus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โI will pay youโ
Where do I sign up?!
SnowDropAngel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagining this is a joke a friend of Seans posted.
Random guy: "Hello Sean, I want to hear you sing"
Sean: "I'm sorry what?"
Random guy: " I want to hear you sing about the moon and stars"
zachattackkk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:06:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait, this guyโs gonna pay ME to listen to him sing! sign me up, but i think he may have how the music industry works all wrong...
Eleazaras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So am I really interested. I will gladly make 15 an hour to listen. Hell I will even take notes and give feedback.
SilentJoe1986 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:10:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For $15 an hour I'll let him punch me in the face while he sings
BlackHatDox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a structured settlement but i need cash NOOOOOOOOOW
CycIojesus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shit for 15 dollars an hour sean can sing to me while i work.
talk about a raise.
bigstepdaddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean looks like Matsumoto from Downtown Gaki.
yupitsfreddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys can laugh if you want but I'm $15 richer!
alakate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Denny's at the Micronesia Mall in Guam comes up as a match when I googled Sean's phone number.
rebelhead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About moon and stars? I for one am sold..
NinaLee6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait.... HE pays you? For $15 an hour? Iโm SOLD.
What_u_say ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man if he's paying me $15 just to listen to him I'll take him up on the offer.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It kinda looks like a blowjob advertisement
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It just doesn't make sense because he's paying ๐
TundieRice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nottimanderic
ProMrCan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder which one is right: "Never Heard Before" or "Never Before Heard"?? Sr about my bad in English, I've never heard "Never Before Heard".
sonmaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder how many bodies he has buried under his house. Creepy.
LimnicEruption3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a fun whimsacal way to get murdered.
bibowski ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a concept for a Tim and Eric sketch
5926134 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he throw in health and dental insurance?
RMeagherAtroefy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a professional jazz musician... I can relate to this.
pandacorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he doesn't say dollars. It says 15/hr. That could mean he sings 15 songs per hour... or maybe he gives something else 15 times an hour. who knows?!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is like a lap dance but with singing and you get paid.
Suck_City ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if I could get 40 hours a week listening to that guy?
Beligerantbanter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo. This isn't a bad gig.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saitama's side gig
thinkist- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see a dollar sign, but I do see a lot of people assuming it's $15.
crusoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 stabs.
akabigboss45 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he pays YOU... to listen to HIM sing. Where do I sign up?
bupizzle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do I sign up?
traceysmothers25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MEm6--kRug
robledog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He will pay me $15 an hour? Shit I never have to work again!!!
RadleyCunningham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
assuming you survive the murder attempt on your life, how do you describe him to the sketch artist? He is perfectly nondescript.
Vault_0_dweller ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man saitoma must be hurting for money.
The_Elite_Lucario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
in Opera voice
I am Sean... I will inform for youuuuuuu...
materfuze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For 15$ an hour this man could serenade me to sleep then watch me sleep for the rest of the night if he wanted to
MasterGun95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's his booking info, need him for a wedding.
traceysmothers25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aATonKcWzHQ
theymightbegreat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol wtf
skygazer5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if heโs skilled at singing I think itโd be pretty awkward. Like he drives to your place, sings for you and get paid.
draculinaaa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like that the pictures of him are of him singing. As if we needed the proof or something.
Ahnenglanz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dont want to get murdered but 15 dollars is 15 dollars...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:22:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like an ad for gay sex
Chorizwing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck he can stay In my house all day in that case.
BloodlustHamster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodbye Moonmen
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays me!?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Sean in the Hartford Area?
goofball_jones ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those pictures are accurate. Sean just comes over and emits a high-pitched single tone the whole time. Even though he'll pay you $15 an hour, it's not enough.
shakm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:39:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The three little dots after 'i am Sean' scare the crap out of me
dothed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i could only imagine what reddit would have done to this guy if the number was not blurred out haha
eatnaders ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:45 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he pays you $15 bucks an hour to listen. Can I wear head phones?
healthcare_poor_mo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:23 on October 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what per h.r.?
nwsreddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:35 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/sadcringe
myracksarelettuce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a fake poster, dude. That link next to the pole takes you to a FB page where some guy makes a bunch of 'wacky' posters like this one.
It's funny though, so who cares I guess
solinaceae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:08 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How is this not a creation of obviousplant?
ShakesSpear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need an AMA with this guy. I am intrigued
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:20 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, he'll pay me to listen to him singing? I'm in.
black_flag_4ever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:15 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why are all these songs about killing the audience?
mrshatnertoyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:21 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/RJ6S6eY.gifv
clever_goat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:09 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a great way to celebrate the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival. Moon songs probably go great with moon cake.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:58 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Sean!
Spinningalltheplates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:09 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs why all his songs are original. They only ever have one audience.
amolad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:02 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sing. I'll cook, be on the toilet, watch Netflix......
DallasITGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:25 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in agreement with the OP about the creepy part.
davezerg20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:20 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are those mario mushrooms in the back?
losian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:42 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if he sings about the June and the Spring as wel as the moon.
popeye71_2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:41 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ship has come in!
JeffreyRamstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:22 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha this is amazing.
Chaosgodsrneat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's advertising blow-jobs, people
halfbeerhalfhuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:56 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an attempt to blur our the phone number
jeffkha77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:15 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can i have the number i want to get paid
ant-man1214 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:39 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 on 1. Haha, wtf.
mynamesalwaystaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:28 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A flyer for serial murder, nice
Reppinhigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:30 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thing is... no one ever makes it the whole hour.
bagofdickzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:00 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What that mouf do Sean
wheeldawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:48 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Sean
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:31 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like it's a trap. His singing might be so bad that you will go deaf, that's why he's paying compensation.
Whitemochaforvanessa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:13 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy should move to LA and just do the "Hollywood agent" workshop circuit.
spinozasrobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:04 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moon AND stars, you say?
Mistersinister1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:44 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How long before a dick is drawn in his mouth
Bearded_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:02 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man... 1 hour of listening to a stranger sing original songs. That's a LONG-ASS time
JBBanshee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:44 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone jumping at the opportunity. Have any of you thought how bad he could be? That hour would be the longest of your life!
MagusB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:09 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, number please.
FreakinSweet86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:08 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Masashi Fujimoto? Banzaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiii!!!
activitylab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:04 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alanwagnerandhivaids? Am I reading that right?
abraxasnl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:23 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do it! Film it! Share it with us!
You canโt not do this!!!
Kevin_Malone11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to find this man. He has commitment and I like it.
Serviceman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or has been committed.
anorex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA request.
IanHachman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you Sean?
Ciaccoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sign me right the fuck up.
examinedliving ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The things that are wrong with this increase with *each moment spent staring.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if he pays me then why the fuck not
kthxtyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I will pay you" Oh my dear sweet baby Jesus
3rdLevelRogue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd call this man in a heartbeat. Even if he kills you, I feel like getting killed by a private space singing serial killer is a better way to die than by car crash or heart disease.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
Devops970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am.... sean
dookiedonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg. I would hire him for parties
IrwinElGrande ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1 on 1 only
dookiedonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does he offer group rates?
Evilsj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could make a religion out of this
mountaineerWVU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already feel as if my eardrums hurt
TinFoilRobotProphet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15? I'd gladly pay you $30 for a hamburger today.
jongisaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need this man's number
blackflags91390 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think he has 40 hours worth of music a week?
mickrouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An hour of someone singing directly at me is honestly my worst nightmare.
vtKSF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm almost positive that's my area code.. squints harder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he expect feedback? Or can you just stare blankly at him while he sings?
xyztabc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really want to hear his original songs
drbroshuajergman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a Georgia area code I recognize?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll tumble for ya...
JRose51 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a solid Incubus cover. SOLD!
Texas392 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait so he will pay me $15 an hour to listen to him sing about the moon and the stars??
Crade_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try... not getting my upvote..
swentech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of this joke... Hey come to my party this weekend. There is going to be drinking, maybe some fighting, and sex, lots of sex. Uhhh okay how many people are going to be there. Just you and me...
b0red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O_O
cookie5427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can come over and pay me to sing my kids to sleep.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck, whatโs the number??? I hope this can be done over the phone.
SirFievel33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Front page on reddit and you didn't even include his contact information for a bit of free crowd-sourced advertising. Shame!
paperbackgarbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Sean...
soliterica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Sean...
OpusWild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes, the Sean.
saysthingsbackwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This looks like something I would put out with no responses. No love for the serious home music hobbyists
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder if he pays overtime
Atoning_Unifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15 an HOUR
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put me down for 10 hours please
Atoning_Unifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not sure i could make it through one?
bmarr_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Pretty sure Sean's friends are A-holes. :'D
asusoverclocked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is kind of adorable
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/nottimanderic
slayer_of_idiots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we sure "sing" isn't really just slang for something else (wink wink)
MySassyPetRockandI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please call him.
MulderD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is paying to be stabbed to death.
BardleyMcBeard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll sing for you(r corpse)
ftfy
Szoreny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean wants to eat you and if you think you can handle Sean you can't.
ThatsOneCrazyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not real, check out Alan Wagner on Instagram or Facebook, he makes funny stuff like this.
luminisenc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bloodborne
lawesome94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is Sean...
ValarMoghoulis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, I can finally move on from Uber.
ACEasterling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need this. I got five on it.
maniacmethod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that number tho?
colonelmerkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pays more per hour than my day job
spicyspectacular ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What an odd little man
SoMesGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait he pays you to listen to him?
Whatforrest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stars.... in your multitude...
Bret_fart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays me to sing also to me? Lol
xB3asT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can somebody be brave enough and pirate this please? Provide the torrent link here--
fuzzywuzzypete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Sam Cassell?
quantasmm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Downside: he's a yodeller
whatsthatbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
all of his pictures has him with his mouth open
Phullonrapyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You blurred out the part I need!
zimin20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go for it!
MadMort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This man is Sean.
Voidg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paying someone 15 an hour to listen to you sing is either extremely desperate or... no just desperate.
dannidawg2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a dumbass. I would have paid him $30 an hour. He totally shorted himself.
MrGoodKat86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must be so bad. Or a prank
JimmyDickButter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up this morniiingggg, and all I could seeee, is the moon and the starrrsssss!
TheJackNcoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's obviously a joke
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the number blurred out?
alisoncathleen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very concerned for OPโs safety.
nonsensekbc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got 7.50 for whoever can get this phone number for me.
mwhite1249 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have to pay him $20 to go away.
Addictshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you please send me the number?
Splatterman27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can he have more than an hours worth of original songs about the moon and stars?
Oaksey20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what an hour? Everyone seems to assume it is dollars but it never says that.
Sk8rToon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paging /r/beermoney
dfrtyfiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Totally not a murderer." - sean
Seanthings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This man is a God among Seans...
rjuly28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not gonna lie, I'd call him
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15/hr is insane. That's like minimum wage in Oregon.
OnePete7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually a suuuuuuper old meme or is it just me?
It justs ring a bell.
escherbach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then I will kill you, under the moon and stars.
jspalmiero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op did you take the offer? Please confirm.
ABEARWITHAGUN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats my name (and how I spell it) so this makes me giddy.
blackcoffiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Want an AMA from someone who he hired.
tuller29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays 15/hr... 15 what?
โThank you for singing. Iโll take my 15โ
โThank you for letting me sing. Here are your 15 breath-rite strips.โ
imgenerallyaccepted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am Sean"
Ferduckin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's one crazy tune.
PM_MeUrSuccessSecret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
Spyrothedragon9972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I HAVE TO KNOW!
justaddbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this is an ad for someone looking to suck dick on the sly.
An hour here, an hour there type thing.
nudg3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah in blue that number. I need that in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This can't be real.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he has a really nice, soothing voice.
jones6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough.
octolars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really ? This is the first thing on Reddit? Making fun of someone? Its kind of sad and weird but cmon guys.
isurelikelaughing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy lost a bet or fantasy pool.
xsandied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How did he come up with the value of $15 here for such amazing service? Wait, am I the service provider here or he is? Now Iโm confused
azimov_the_wise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think he'd accept constructive criticism?
RagnaBrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, Sean will sing at me and pay me to listen to him? That's more than I make at my shitty job right now.
bdaruna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone should put this on Photoshop Battle.
SergeantBoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd let him serenade me for hours on end.
Astralarogance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like Mikey Bustos.. https://youtu.be/UNRDMbVKCKg
Blackhawks_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Nathan For You when he went around putting up posters waiting for kids to draw dicks on them
MildlyMotivated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a Nathan fielder thing?
mekkanik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the vogon under cover.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy lmao
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again" is what you will hear once he is finished singing.
theflyersrule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://horror.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/the-thing-1982-image-3.png
cheeseburger365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The smaller pic on the right did me in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I will sing for you" really means I will blow you.
dickie99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a Nathan For You gag.
Ripwind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes. Hope he pays by the minute, and not the full hour.
KayleyKiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HE PAYS PEOPLE TO LISTEN TO HIM
Wildaz81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the word you mean is "intrigued"
Kidd_Sinsation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone notice there's no $ on his sign? What exactly do you get 15 of every hour?
getdemsnacks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
uhhhhh...songs?
Anomalous-Entity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol, 15 what?
Esoteric_Erric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean is somehow a marketing genius, but I cannot quite figure out how.
stevo3001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WengFu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a feeling that it might be better to be Sean than heard.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy pays as much as my last temp job!
mods_suck_KDSdick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of My uncle
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Creepy, but interesting. I could use some extra money.
cancertoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is Sean.
SCBeauty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sign me right the fuck up!
greentaydr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to singa Bout the moona and the Juna and the springa.
flawlis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is his number? I wanna call this guy lol
Azzizzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome! He wouldn't have to pay me.
GunnyH1GHway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he give happy endings?
BC_Trees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He really should have lead off with "I will pay you (15/hr)."
compsci2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanted his phone number!
BDPeck5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ultimate goal right here is for you to make it awkward for him instead of the other way around
Nundahl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could use that money...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love a moon and star song sample
phazeflux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen
_Fah-Q_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's kinda sweet, but I could be very wrong :/
Areif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Loving the sweat coefficient
FunkyButtLov1n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure he may kill me, yet songs about the moon are just too good to pass up.
ombiezay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean and I have the same curtains. Nice.
MinuteMaid0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, maybe he just wants to share his creations super badly. Respect
subgamer90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
probably just wants to practice singing in front of people but is too nervous to do it in front of a group. well, either that or he's a serial killer
hostile_rep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what /hour?
mrot777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to Sean singing original tunes like "Stars, moons and me peeking through your window."
elizaajanee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the real crime here is that the number is blurred. who am i gonna get now to sing me original moon and stars songs?
High_Dephinition ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anybody have a recording of this man's singing?
MineWiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want him now
DymondHed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gotta love the pictures of him with his mouth open
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I find it creepy as fuck =/
Blame_the_ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But are you going to 1099 me?
mannewalis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am hearing impaired, do I still qualify?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know he's gonna be good when he doesn't even know what a note is supposed to look like.
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're saying that a person can't be skilled at something without the proper technical education?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't be" is a little too absolute. "Is almost certainly not" is more accurate.
For every brilliant autodidact out there, there are probably five hundred Dunning-Kruger nitwits.
Qelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG we need to hear Sean!!!!
eradicator96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take 3
chitowntopugetsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Time for some discreet ear buds and an audiobooks subscription. Couldn't afford audiobooks before, but now I have a job offer.
chaoism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who's curious what the original songs are?
accountno543210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pffffttt... Nah, this guy sells BJs.
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's either an highly introverted singer or he will pay men $15 an hour to juzz in his mouth. I'm not sure I'd take the chance to find out which.
A_Turner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/fallout20
BadWolf_Corporation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This should be on /r/ThisIsHowIDie
MyCatisaStripper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Baltimore. One of my friends found some dude who'd do this online on skype. During raging parties he'd stop the music, tell everyone to look at the TV's in the house and come to the webcam to interact, watch and request songs. Was awesome, highly recomend to all during keggers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm very interested but I wonder if he has enough song about the moon and stars to fill several hours. I want him to get his moneyโs worth.
stomaticmonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op let us know if he kills you
Trauma-Dolll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to see the setlist first.
savagepug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sucking?
ffffff313h ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dew it
Tattmoo76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So can i get 40 hours a week and do you have a 401k and insurance benifits?
Soren_Camus1905 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/NotTimAndEricPics
amg19251 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is a cover for a gay blowjob advertisement backpage-style but posted on a telephone poll instead .... LOL
IAmAnObvioustrollAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it! Thats more than i make now! Is this a full time gig? Are there benefits?
Mufasasayshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whats up with those serial killer curtains Sean? Hmmmmmmm?
ultimahwhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That top right picture looks like me in 20 years...
I like to sing...
And my name rhymes with "Sean"; did I travel back in time?
MasterGraves913 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fa fa fa fa fa fa
nemo1080 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope
lankanmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of specifically of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOE-q20RcDM
blueheartsadness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This can't be real.....can it?
cliteratura ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guy from blue man group without the blue
theattackpanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's fucking do this.
bobbyjf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heโll suck your cock
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA request?
coronagrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this guy wants to suck dicks
munkey13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have him follow you around singing your own personal theme song or entrance and exit songs lol
BillyH666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could we be seeing the Tommy Wiseau of music?
Yakhechos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Average song is like 3 minutes long. I'm not sure I'm willing to listen to this dude sing 20 songs for $15. Too many bad omens in that one sign.
rissahi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first thing I thought of was him standing there & taking selfies of himself with that face....or if he made someone take them and he just stood there like that.....
PineappleTreePro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dudes got disposable income.
Beerguy000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am upset the number is covered up, I have been in the market for a minstrel
Crystonyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats like, on average, a little less then a dollar a song. Assuming his songs follow the trend of 180 second average of song length.
Legendre01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/photoshopbattles
skidmarkundies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally someone's paying proper minimum wage around here!
standingpretty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg, this is amazing!
tallducknhandsome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yessss creepy or not-I'm down
MasterChef901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do not think I could have predicted this income, though it is intriguing...
nowhereman86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just an elaborate blowup doll judging from the pictures.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How bad is his singing that he has to pay people?
nondirtysocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op. Please hire him and get a video.
Dan-Smith-42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm very sad that his number is blurred out
W4shcl0th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ill let this guy sing to me for 15$ a hour. In-fact, im going to place a contract bid for 8.56$ a hour.
speez71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope they're good songs, cuz they'll prolly be the last ones you ever hear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You will have to pay me 10x that to deal with this. Also, I'll need a provision of a minimum distance away of 30 feet and a minimum of 2 hours commitment.
WaddleD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on at least give the guy some business.
airconditioningboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ok, well someone has to try this out now
localglow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
seems legit...
anonyxfox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, heโll pay ME?? Sign me up!
Captainstever15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mom, I've decided I'm not going to school anymore!
KeysKeeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to get $15 from this man!
HardCoreSND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that is really cool
ibbieta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP OP
DarkMatterBacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is how murders start
pegatron_don ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so ronery
STidgaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's so sweaty
emcee-98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Singing." So that's what the kids call it nowadays.
ToInfinityandBirds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he want to pay peoplemtomlisten to him sing?
Sdonof53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Nathan for you
deansowa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that bat boy all growed up?
CallMeChristina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what? Songs?
GlouriousMeser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy pays more for you to listen to him sing than McDonalds ever has paid me. Time for a new part time job.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will pay Sean to sing for me... I'd be so curious I'd make it happen.
PissOnYourFlag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm down, so long as I don't have to hear him sing.
CivilEngineerHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM YOUR BROOOTHER...YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR EEEEVER...
ThamusWitwill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
??? 637 ????
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm pretty sure heโs a killer...
Gabe_Hey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Easy money. Sign me up
idma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
opens mouth. he's hired
goonts_tv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Sean !
LordMudkip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, heโs paying me $15/hr to sing for me?
Thatโs really weird, but I can live with that. For $15/hr he can sing all he wants!
Completediagram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would totally have him follow me around during the day and just sing. Personal soundtrack while doing the dishes... Laundry...
kyubiiash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been able to decipher part of the phone number. someone help me: (47X)-697-XXXX not confident on the 4
Spec187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 an hour, sign me the fuck up.
Edit, do I get time and a half after 40 hours?? Is overtime an option? 8, 10, 12, or 16's? You tell me boss, I'm your man.
beastlyjesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real life Angel Boy
Magicgenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is weird. Is there video?
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doubt it since he only does one on one.
shuterdownjim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like one of the fake ads from Nathan for You, like it's a trap to get people to draw dicks on it
snoopychick8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is awesome
JawnLegend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never before heard (because I cut the ears off of all of my victims...I mean employees before I sing to them).
Justine772 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love that job
Sir_packsalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you Reddit.
v3n0mat3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wanna sing-a....?
Dannnyc93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am fucking IN
BladeLigerV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(67#)-637-####
ascendantlogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems reasonable for $15/hr
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What even..
Slayers_Kim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man... I can totally do that.
the_haawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15 .... an hour?
Jesus, how many songs about the moon and the stars can he have?
mgkimsal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he might write them as 78rpms, but sings at 33. Multiple verses per song and you might be looking at 30 min per song.
fredthedead276 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
78 rotations per minute(s)???? I think you mean 78-bpm (beats per minute)
mgkimsal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no, i think i mean 78 rpm.
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/cf/76/3d/cf763d804c92aa0ba7ecfde35b63c15a--victrola-record-player-old-record-player.jpg
psycharious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could use a few extra bucks.....how many songs you got?
slap98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who is also named Sean, this is somewhat mortifying.
warmchairqb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never before heard.. because dead men tell no tales.
ShiversTheNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say "you must hire him and record him so we can all hear, OP" but then I read it again. He pays you? What in the hell?
Emis816 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a good way to go about getting murdered
jus10jones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would literally take this job over my job.and I build hotels for a living.
FxStryker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP has run a successful marketing campaign.
Zippo574 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I'm jealous of the person who answered his flier. Sean If u read this hit me up, sun
Trumpology101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get it Sean, you do you. Also, pay me.
aonesteaksauce420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love how every picture is the exact same just different angles lol
casimirpulaskiday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some Tim and Eric shit.
medieval_pants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you waiting for OP?? DO IT!
OutwithaYang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh gosh! ROFL! I'd like that part-time job. $15/hr sounds like a good deal.
letsgetinvisable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing sexual
jefferysavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whole Lotta nope.
giant_olm_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought was "$15 an hour? Hell, that's better than a lot of entry-level jobs." Then I realized that $15 for an hour of listening someone sing poorly (which, who knows, maybe he's good) is way too little.
timidpimpin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not only will he sing for you, but based on those photos, he will also catch flies with his mouth.
thatdudetdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit he pays better than my job, sign me up, Iโll be this dudes biggest fan
MEMELURD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a very unconvincing way to lure people into some weird fettish plot. But it is Sean...
bilbobadmutha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lookit the mouf on dat dude! :O
i_bent_my_wookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! You think that is creepy? Here...hold my beer...
i_bent_my_wookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean has a real purty mouth! :D
mason729 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how will he scale to unicorn size?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would be a lot less creepy if he didn't include the pictures.
tullycw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/engrish
trexinthehouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell NO.
6MMDollarMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This would be a great job for my deaf classmate!
Atapia94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why'd u block the number?!
NeShu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To avoid fake/prank calls probably.
Atapia94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or he's trying to keep the $15/hr to him/herself!
NeShu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha That's another possibility!
Andykbrown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting way of marketing. Maybe the dude is just trying to get comfortable with singing in public. I tried out three times for different choirs and was rejected three times. It was super embarrassing and would take quite a bit to get me sing in front of others again.
ilikefoodIV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone must try this!
mjldj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we pleeease start a photoshop battle of this guy?
DadGoneGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I can bring my PS4 and play Destiny 2 while he sings about the moon and stars then I'm in.
beardedsandflea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he can convincingly do Van Morrison, I will pay HIM fifteen dollars an hour.
Coragypsatratus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's original songs about the moon and stars!
mmorab3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually itโs sooooo creepy .
dvhath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must be very good if he has to pay people to listen to him
aussiequestions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great offer, who could turn that down.
thesuper88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Curious. A Mycogenian...
HumbleDays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The "I will pay you" was a welcome surprise.
weinerism ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll take him up on his offer sound good to me listen to music and get paid where do I sign up at?
jacksonruckus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10 hours please
tbuckone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:58:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol haha
Retrooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*sing at you.
PeriodicTrend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
May I have his number?
baby_eggplant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PhantomStranger52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more than I make now.... Have gun, will travel.
econcap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I wear a noise canceling headphone:-)
evildemonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would do it...I am way scarier than he is.
XsteveJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So...that's obviously put up to have people draw dicks on it, right?
DatAEK971 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kill it with fire!!! Do it!!! Do it now!!!
McMoogz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is "I am Sean" italicized? 0____o
oomfaloomfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i know he can sing well. he practised so hard all his hair fell out
jonnyclueless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like someone needs to photoshop a penis in his mouth.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just use one of the ones in his freezer
Docphilsman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much will he give me to murder me?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโll do it for free
Stumpedmytoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He then charges you to shut up and leave
floppyfloopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hard yes.
thefamousunkown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why did u blur the number??? No trolls here. Very safe.
jackbenimble99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Photo shop gold... Photoshoppers of Reddit... Go!
Adrian12094 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wtf
Keto_Kidney_Stoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that guy's gonna eat you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do I apply ?
mustbeniceygo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, he pays me 15/hr to listen to him sing?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take him up on it.
Tell him you take 10 dollars (or 5 or free) BUT
with one condition
You can stream it...not because I want to hear but so we can call the police when your head explodes from the explosivo he's gonna give you.
LilNicca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is his session are only an hour long
Domtux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real question is if I can do other stuff at the same time. Let me do work at the same time and this is a sick deal. He might wanna expand past moon and stars tho.
DatAEK971 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My safe word is "tuna", Sean. Dominate me daddy. Please.
evancfc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a r/surrealmemes vibe about this
So_LISA_needs_BRACES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You got a pretty mouth
critical_thought21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit I have afternoons off. If I can play video games while he is singing and get paid 15/hr that's a dream right there.
TheVagWhisperer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hired
epicphotoatl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(67?)637-????
Any guesses?
markorapaic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This feels like a poster Iโd expect to see in a Zelda game, except Sean would be Tingle.
LargeRob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PogChamp
Wrenovator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who decided his name was sean?
h425 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I am Sean..."
darkon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rappelling_Rapunzel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's just one condition: is it has to be in Sean's bathroom, pictured here.
(But he prefers to stand, so you are free to take the only available seat.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great now all I have to do is try all the combinations of the last 4 digits to find this guy...
fredthedead276 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starts with a 1
apsoidfjpaosidjfpoai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FIGHTFOR15
foxinthesky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want this please
Gnarbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what's the number i need to hire this man
dekdekwho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys you never know he might make the next big hit
legalizeheroin420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many songs about the moon and stars can one guy write? An hours worth?
OmgItsMeJc83_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:O
AgentSkidMarks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd listen if we didn't have to meet in his house.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey that's me i'm Sean
briguytrading ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what, though?
8undy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn sign me up I need to buy COD points!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rainkloud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The TOS on his website doesn't say anything about not being able to wear headphones or even use this on him
Fistful_of_Crashes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like the S U C C guy
FillCollinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could use $150. What's he doing for the next 10 hours?
rainkloud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Singing for me loser. Maybe spend the next time working on your talent radar so you don't get scooped son!
DarkestDayOfMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope he says things like "I see a familiar face out there tonight with us, thanks for coming back" and "how many of you have seen Sean before?"
Knubinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd do it. In a fucking heartbeat.
hashtagfuckyou12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is a prostitution ad in disguise
joescott2176 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:14 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a janitor at my old job that wpuld.sing Beatles songs in the breakroom. He's sing along to whatever was on his Pandora station.
naotko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Due to the italic and img borders, looks like a 90s web page
nu7kevin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:51 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 what per h.r.?
NealonLedbetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Tim and Eric level shit right here.
Manbearpig33OH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This man can sing to me all he wants, no payment necessary.
bannedbrownjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd just like the guy sing to me
Frankfurter86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best "photo shop removal of Dicks from mouths" I've ever seen!
faedolly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would totally invite him to sing for me
Rynn21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can kinda read the number thatโs blurred out lol
TheIrishVulture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where is the American Vandal right now?!
shaker28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's one way to spread the prophecy of the Nerevarine.
MyHobbyIsParanormal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UM NO
vancityoriginals ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โSingโ ....
heruskael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but . . . 15 what?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That backwards eighth note in the left corners will give me nightmares tonight.
Latiax81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
679-637-????
nomad_josh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has this been posted to r/photoshopbattles
killa_supra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:32 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend has no job and says she will have him follow her around if possible
solidsnake2085 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sean should meet up with David Liebe Hart!
Triggered-Gamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does that mouth do?
jackichan111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want somebody to let me know how it was cause I'd definitely sign up for this
FishFruit14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised this isn't an obvious plant
Radiaustralis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So he's gonna pay me? What?
oohitsvoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, heโll pay you to listen to him sing?
Where do I sign up?
Exid416 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some one is oblivious to cultural norms lol
gaysofmiracles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What that mouth do?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be the last song you hear before your body is chopped up into little pieces and put in the basement fridge
McBlemmen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird to filter out the contact info below as that's literally the whole point of why he made this.
kecisa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! Great thing. He sings for you and even pays you for listening to his crappy songs.
charleschubb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the same IKEA curtains i have in my room.
robohuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is remote job available?
Wakenbake585 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's sweating in his pictures so you know he's really gonna be giving it his all
RazorSprinter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist he's actually a genius singer and anyone who hears him gains the knowledge of existence.
ryencool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Preeeeeeeetty sure he wants a penis in his mouth...
vinny098098 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs my uncle
knoxdavis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sign me up!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, don't do this! I went for a 1 and a half hours and he didn't prorate it.
I only got $15 and it's TAXED BY THE US GOVERNMENT. The check I got was only for $11.55
KibaPB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he'll suck dick for you too
deddinside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he didn't specify with what he would be paying 15/hr.
SOLNebelung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His face is amazing.
Daniel_USA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
real life lemongrab
raasclarrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well boys and girls. You wanted a "sharing economy."
sirwinning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:41 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd hire this air bender if he had a blue arrow tattooed on his head.
KosJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is how he gets people into his basement. Then "it puts the lotion on its skin"
townsforever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can i be on my phone or computer while I listen to him?
itsMurphDogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I became more confused with each bullet point.
sm_ar_ta_ss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am I the only one who feels like this is an ad seeking a murder victim?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the fuck up about Moonmen!
Quantumstinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He pays $15 an hour but the day before payday he kills you to eliminate the debt, and loose end.
xfyre101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hell pay you to listen to him sing?
semiauto227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude make with the fucking phone number
azaerox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be a moon truther
VeryOpinionated2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt get why heโll even pay $15/hour, thatโs some incredibly low self esteem right there.
flamboyantcolours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/notTimandEric
LaVidaYokel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm down for 10 hours.
PickleAids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he wants some dick
emretheripper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 $ an hour man that sounds great
ihatethisthingugh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodbye Moonmen
Corey307 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is the ... the creepy part?
BlueSapphire21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean does he want me to tell him what i think or will he just sort of walk out my house after he pays?
Programmer92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:34 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Color me intrigued.
needausernameyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:39 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ffs someone do it for free for him like a fucking human.
Baclava69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that an avertisement for blowjobs disguised as an ad for singing songs?
metronegro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15$ is 15$
Jordan_Rago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/cringepics
notthefullsoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That 'O' face tho
Normacont ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:50 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol my name is also Sean. he brings an interesting reputation to all us Seans in the world XD
SiXSwordS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐น๐ถBuild a tent and say the world is dry๐ถ๐น
Pop_Culture_Maestro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:46 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he do sing about rivers and valleys?
deliverytruckz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never before heard? What an amazing opportunity. Will be paid for that.
Exovedate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone from the area has to call this guy and tell us how it went.
kamilman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:13 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But 15 what? Blowjobs?
Intelboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he available next Friday?
0ctopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a Chinese.
Weber_ac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are we sure this isn't some kind of sex thing? It sounds like it is some kind of sex thing.
turtleltrut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His staples are so perfectly aligned.
AlbinoYeti11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to look really hard to find the Obvious Plant logo... Not so obvious on this one.
ck_9900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Never before heard" poor guy must be gutted
canadiancarcass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the bottom said "I am scum" at first haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wow, such innocent comments. I can't write what I think this actually is.
c137Canuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would HE pay YOU
SamuelMarston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to hear him sing. Even if it's the end of me, I just have to know.
Victorian_Astronaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He wants to pay me $15 an hour to listen to him sing?
How much would he pay me for something fun like oral?
ertzuiop111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/wtf
lonemonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever took this picture better know what to do. We demand a performance!
Veritasx626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
15 dollars an hour eh?
BonvivantNamedDom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Id listen to it for 15 dollars the hours.
Tofefee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell
TechWarrior007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me (10 minutes in): That's it! I quit!
five0clockintheporni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:59 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's more than I make now.... Have gun, will travel.
ohyahyahyahyah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:40 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he give me nightmares tonight.
good4null ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:19 on October 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Sean, you on LinkedIn? lets connect, I'm in the "pay to sing" industry too, trying to get some traction, Let's talk.
gagasupperlabia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:33 on October 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This seems like a very unconvincing way to lure people into some weird fettish plot. But it is Sean...
JesusIsMyZoloft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:11 on October 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody else notice the eighth note at the bottom left is backwards?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:25 on November 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Sean...
Paddocks_Aimbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:36 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He looks enthusiastic at least.
robertmdesmond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to get to the bottom of this. Is this a prank? Is it real? And the ultimate question... why? More details please!
user64x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy.
robertmdesmond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:23 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caught in a landslide, No escape from reality.
I_stole_this_phone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:52:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When OP makes a poster, staples it to a pole, and takes a picture for karma
Hectate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:53:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if that's true, it amused me. That was the goal I suppose.
EthanRavecrow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:58:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can karma be converted to real money?
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
WindAeris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bigotry isn't allowed here.
CashMcClane ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:32:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AMA request: any person that did this and made it out alive.
truebruh ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 01:06:29 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chinaman Chinaman.
Singing songs for you Chinaman.
He will pay 15 dollars.
All about the moon and stars.
HEY hey.. Here comes the china man.
[deleted] ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 20:46:40 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Scamperillium ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:38:43 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please. If he's Asian and requesting one on one, then it's clearly PvP related
Micotu ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:07:26 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.
funkboxing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:16:18 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's China-person
Chaosgodsrneat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:08 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Asian-American. Please.
ShakesSpear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if this isnโt in America?
blackpepperjc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:24:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Big Lebowski references.
Chaosgodsrneat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:10 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For this, I get down votes. Reddit really disappointed me today.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:38 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I'm shit out of luck.
pperca ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:22 on October 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks like a sexual assault waiting to happen
nytram55 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:43 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very sad.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Derrty109 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:17 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool story bro
VladimirPoosTons ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says the ex HS football player
Derrty109 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
buzz wrong.
VladimirPoosTons ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:48 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says the douche
Derrty109 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:54 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Butthurt about your lame story? Lol
VladimirPoosTons ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom is butthurt from my dick
Derrty109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who were you insinuating was stuck in HS? Lol sing for me princess
VladimirPoosTons ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:30:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. You shouldโve taken a few more minutes on your rebuttal. You lose. Peace and go fuck yourself!
choose-_a-_username ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$15 an hour? sign me the FUCK up ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ good shit goเฑฆิ sHit๐ thats โ some good๐๐shit right๐๐th ๐ ere๐๐๐ rightโthere โโif i do ฦฝaาฏ so my sel๏ฝ ๐ฏ i say so๐ฏ thats what im talking about right thereright there(chorus: สณแถฆแตสฐแต แตสฐแตสณแต) mMMMMแทะ๐ฏ ๐๐ ๐ะO0ะเฌ ๏ผฏOO๏ผฏOะเฌ เฌ Ooooแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแตแต๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ฏ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐Good shit