My brother's in the wine business. At tastings if he encounters insufferable wine snobs, this is his go-to move to confuse them
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 65698 points ยท Posted at 01:03:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 65698 points ยท Posted at 01:03:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Saved comment
PerilousAll ยท 3154 points ยท Posted at 01:18:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you hear the difference in friction against the glass? That red is so rough it's deafening. This white is a lot smoother, but let me introduce you to this $$$$ wine. Completely soundless.
topdangle ยท 1399 points ยท Posted at 03:03:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soundless? Must be made from the highest quality vineyards with the freshest dirt in France. Only French dirt has the synesthetic alleviating properties of mutism.
KittenyStringTheory ยท 1187 points ยท Posted at 03:28:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It comes from centuries of buried mimes.
Buried in their invisible boxes.
razorgoat ยท 506 points ยท Posted at 03:57:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alive.
paulec252 ยท 630 points ยท Posted at 04:31:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can almost hear their screams.
RimmyDownunder ยท 531 points ยท Posted at 04:55:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost.
Chinoko ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 07:15:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you don't. That how you know how good a mime is.
librlman ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 11:35:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ernest & Julio Gallo
We'll serve no mime before its time.
BiggerBangTheory ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ernest & Julio Gallows*
That_cant_be_good ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this thread got dark fast.
BiggerBangTheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:25:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you know what they say. Dark humor is a lot like food. Not everybody gets it.
iraqibukkake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:03:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
McBain voice That's the joke..
SaltyChorizo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am incomplete. My sides are so far up that you could think they're the Cassini spacecraft.
elluzion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A very dark wine joke.
dellealpi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good. Let me get 10 bottles
cutelyaware ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:18:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:25:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up in there!
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
?
Iamnotsmartspender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:39:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly r/jesuschristreddit, but almost
bobthetechguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades
rubberseatbelt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:12:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great movie title. "When Mimes Scream".
Macitron3000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Almost.
Hyperpoly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been buried for being terrible mimes.
redbirdrising ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:41:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[Wall pressing intensifies]
ReasonablyBadass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can still sometimes hear them cry out fo...well no, I guess you don't.
unproperNoun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mimes aren't really alive in the first place so is ok
_an_average_guy_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:02:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're called land mimes. Leftover from WWII.
KittenyStringTheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Marcel Marceau was a hero of the French Resistance, so this checks out!
spockspeare ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This wine is so chalk it's sucking the sound out of the room.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:44:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The company is owned by a family of Milford Men.
aliteraljugofgravy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell. You can always tell a Milford Man.
johnnysivilian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just died reading this
KittenyStringTheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you were very quiet about it, in a few centuries, they might grow some excellent grapes near you!
Shockernator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The mimes are caged to perfection.
KittenyStringTheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dear.
eooker ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:42:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does using clean dirt or dirty dirt create any significant changes, or is it too subtle to notice?
Angel-OI ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:01:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's quite significant if you're a trained listener but almost not noticeable if not. As you need to ask, don't bother. It's not for you anyway.
Best dirt ever possible comes from sipsco though.
anden3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:18:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Big money, Big women, Big fun.
WisconsinHoosierZwei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And for only four dollars!
el-y0y0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm playing anagrams with your fancy words.
purduephotog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's hands above the rest!
Nailbrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Artistic level bullshit.
stupidfarmer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, "the freshest dirt" got me good.
KokonutMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, my face hurts.
iamethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dirt?!? Dirt?!? Its called terroir you insensitive clod.
scribbles33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cultivated by and order of monks who took vows of silence.
smokesinquantity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You lost me at dirt. It's called soil dammit!
alwaysultimate21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soil*
Hykr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is getting too r/shittyaskscience
nyczadd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[silence intensifies]
hagenbuch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found le vitisonneur.
throwaway12junk ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 03:42:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.imgur.com/uG6ZmPX.png
notanotherconfession ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:55:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*lafite
69_link_karma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/DJyGxRC8i68?t=13
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 04:12:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Rhinoscerous ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:47:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am audiophile.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:15:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is made using a maximum of 1% non-exclusive, m'keh-peep grapes...
Basically, it wouldn't dare m'keh-peep.
Ssshhhh. Hear that?
Nothing.
coronahomebrews ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Newbs, what is this swill, dBs? I only drink nB!
marr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:09:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can still hear the resonating silence of the monastery.
mjern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only with the proper stemware. What kind of stemware are you using? You haven't tried XXXX? You really need to consider it. Vast improvement in both taste and acoustics.
lightknight7777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's hilarious is that he could do this and still be just as frequently correct as professionals regarding the quality/cost of wine.
Abioticadam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:09:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of the delicious sound you would normally hear is turned in to a delicate note of mouth-feel in just the right conditions.
PerilousAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh! I'm stealing that one.
Saxojon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"This is the typical acoustic from the best parcels in Langhe, Piedmont. Can you hear it?"
rkim777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can he hear the ocean?
ThisNameForRent ยท -78 points ยท Posted at 02:23:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As a Vodka drinker I honestly thought I invented the term 'wine snob', cause let's face it, wine is just diluted Vodka with some flavor of Kool-Aid in it. Yet there are no Kool-Aid snobs.
(Edit: Allow me to double down and inform you all that despite all appearances you try to project, you're nothing but winos pretending to be classy since you are not unemployed. Fucking casuals)
DelicateSteve ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:37:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But there are, apparently, vodka snobs.
LordWiltshire ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:46:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When you say "snob" it imply the person actually has knowledge on the subject. This guy doesn't
HKburner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touche
ThisNameForRent ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 02:49:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or it could mean that someone, such as yourself, if full of shit.
Now eat that shit.
cbyrnesx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:51:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Vodka all tastes the same. With wine you can at least get different flavors.
Edit: Haha guys I know vodka tastes different. I was just making fun of /u/ThisNameForRent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like someone who has never had UV Grape.
ejburke73 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have never tried S'mores Vodka, or birthday cake, or.. Actually, you're lucky. Disgusting.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go vanilla vodka with creme de cacao (because cheaper) and warm milk for a yummy hot chocolate
Go creme de menthe or mint schnapps with vodka and coffee
Vanilla vodka and root beer for a root beer float
SugarCoatedThumbtack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's almost true. I've had this shit called Dark Eyes, $3.50/fifth. I didn't know vodka could taste any worse.
TM3-PO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:28:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a club in West Palm Beach and we would pour dark eyes through a britta filter and put it in a grey goose bottle. Sold it for $300/bottle for bottle service. In 4 years no one ever said a thing.
BeepBoopRobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously? I can't drink certain brands, and vodka is pretty much all I drink.
Can't stand grey goose, but I'm perfectly fine with some Smirnoff even.
LordWiltshire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not true, they do have varying qualities based on what they are produced from. This guy is still a douche nozzle
ThisNameForRent ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:58:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong! Vodkas do taste different. But who really cares about the flavor... it's really about the buzz. Or do highbrows pretend that's not why they drink???
BeepBoopRobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I drink vodka because it's fucking delicious.
trevordbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vodka. So plain you mix it with shit to drink it.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can go vodka tasting in the Bay Area too
PerilousAll ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:36:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My partner and I play "Wine Snob" when we've had a few - trying to top each other.
"What do you mean it has a hint of Florentine Fig in the finish? Even a child could tell that's Tuscan Fig!"
"Stop swilling that like some peasant! Even the dog is embarrassed by your manners!"
VasectoMyspace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=QLCLo6-SI9E ?
PerilousAll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah! We actually go the route of posh accents and intersperse our comments with things like "You oaf!" and make reference to "bruised tannins."
None of which we actually know anything about.
Quas4r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:37:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Florence is the capital of Tuscany. Thought I'd clear that up.
pm_me_ur_weird_pms ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:38:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What in the Argentinian Malbec are you babbling on about?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:52:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wine is fermented, vodka is distilled.
you could have a case for calling other distilled alcohols watered down vodka, but not fermented ones.
ThisNameForRent ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In math and chemistry, the result is all that matters. By that I mean a chemical is the same no matter how it was arrived at. So whatever the formula for alcohol is (not a secret) the process to achieve it is irrelevant.
So, again I state, wine is alcohol (pure Vodka) with variations of Kool-Aid. Nothing more.
Remove the alcohol from wine and how many pretentious snobs would drink it and rave about the complex tastes?
LordWiltshire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have 0 knowledge on this topic. They're are thousands of factors that influence how an alcoholic beverages tastes. For one the temperature at fermentation or distillation effect the amount of fusal oil alcohols that are produced and effect the taste
ThisNameForRent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:28:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sad un-enlightened one. Fusil oils are the diarrhea of the entire process. They are what cause a bad hang-over.
And regarding taste... who cares? I drink for the buzz. Not the hangover, or the taste. If I want taste I drink Kool-Aid.
Duh.
(Sorry for the 6 minute delay in my reply, but the false Gods of Reddit have decided I must wait 6 minutes between replies)
LordWiltshire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Probs cause you're a dickhead.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:38:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grappa is literally distilled garbage.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
BarelyLethal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ELI5 what either of those are?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of pisco, but grappa is distilled garbage. They take the garbage left over from the wine making process- the stems, grape skins and whatever shit is left, even scraping the barrel, and then they distill it until they get kerosene flavored shit water.
Your_Ballsack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:53:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the wine snob
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:57:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Your_Ballsack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just fucking with you lol I don't know shit about it
Poached_Polyps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean 'brandy'.
EvangelineTheodora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Black cherry Kool Aid is the best Kool Aid.
ThisNameForRent ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I truly don't want to start any sort of war, and by God, Black Cherry is one awesome flavor, but I've done some secret experiments where I discovered Pink Lemonade mixed with Grape produces even a greater high than Black Cherry alone. I wasn't going to publish this finding until I examined Black Cherry crossed with Strawberry, or grape, but you forced my hand.
Something I pray nobody ever dares attempt to try is Black Cherry crossed with Lime. No mortal could resist falling into that Opium Den of flavorlishous pleasure-overload!!!!
EvangelineTheodora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm not one for grape or pink lemonade, but I will have to try this!
sporkfood ยท 1853 points ยท Posted at 02:04:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can just HEAR the tannins.
DausenWillis ยท 592 points ยท Posted at 02:09:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This vintage sounds brackish and over saturated.
El_Pinguino ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 02:58:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more bass.
1badls2goat_v2 ยท 455 points ยท Posted at 04:03:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more cowbell.
readerseven ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:39:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More Cowbell https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCd0OjjCz88
Beerhoven ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:04:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got a FEVER!
griffen55 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:56:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. I got a cure for that fever...
mallettsmallett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:05:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs more donk
spacemanspiff30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking catfish.
Kozeyekan_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The winemaker needs to really explore the space.
brokenearth03 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:36:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too much compression. It's a single volume, zero dynamics at all.
aerandir1066 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Treble is a bit thin.
ElChupacabrasSlayer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:57:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know it's all 'bout that bass.
isaidthisinstead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:52:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All about that Blass
MeatballNYC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is FOR THE WIN! GOALLLLL!!!! Yayayayayay
MooseWolf2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a bit lacking in cod, but I don't have your well practiced ear
BAXterBEDford ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one is past its peak. It's like a clarinet with a wet reed.
juiceboxzero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no no, you need to d-d-d-d-drop the bass...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
Sav_ij ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fish in wine? You have very pacific tastes
MoreCamThanRon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:46:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Shallow and pedantic.
THROWAWAYonthGROUND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Needs a Blackbody ambient field conditioner.
AnalFisherman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mother is brackish and oversaturated.
batquux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's usually because the oak barrels the wine was stored in were manufactured using power tools. Hand crafted barrels impart a warm melody on the tannins that gets better with age.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid tannins.
Sam_1776 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:04:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't rush those tannins! (Buy you can bail to go to that new club: Okay)
MatCult ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got ear damage listening to wine, now suffering from tanninitus.
MayorPufnstuf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let the tannins mellow
nickdarick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Stupid tannins"
thadtheking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen close, you can hear through the grapevine.
spockspeare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*tinnins.
tvdinner4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*tinnitus
spockspeare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*Tinnitus One
shaker28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"They said it had floral notes."
Dang0o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can feel the brix
ezery13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
White wine doesnt have tannins tho
doyoueventdrift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*trannies
BlackCrowRises ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Freakin tannins...
well_groomed_raccoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're hearing tinnitus, mate
nhremna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That delicate resonance... mmhhhhh
DausenWillis ยท 14948 points ยท Posted at 01:09:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the evaporation rate to the alcohol changes the pressure of the microenvironment within the glass which can be felt IF you have a tra/jed, sensitive ear. Obviously these grapes were grown too close to an asphalt road which causes them to have a cruder alcohol content.
anothercarguy ยท 7653 points ยท Posted at 01:48:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the Bay Area, CA.... I will be using
with a straight face
Ludwig_Van_Gogh ยท 5021 points ยท Posted at 03:04:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Be sure to add, "It's not so much that you hear it mind you, it's more about the change in air pressure created within the glass as this process occurs. It's easily detectable by the inner ear as a pressure change, similar to flying at high altitudes or diving deep underwater, more subtle of course, but quite apparent to those in the know."
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 8286 points ยท Posted at 03:35:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You give yourself away by using "those in the know". Too far. Try "by a practiced ear"
Renarudo ยท 1536 points ยท Posted at 03:56:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if that's a good recommendation to someone named /u/Ludwig_Van_Gogh
DoomBot5 ยท 396 points ยท Posted at 04:13:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well he did say ear
sir-came-alot ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:31:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but how do you stick more than one ear into a wine glass?
classic_douche ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:09:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd have to cut one off...
xXKnucklesXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'd go deaf!
Wolvenheart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, but the paint job on the wall has never looked better!
unsafeatNESP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
instructions unclear. dick stuck in wine glass
sir-came-alot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:09:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes that's right, how could I forget about my dick ears!
Avatar_Of_Brodin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First one, then the other.
Foofie-house ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:10:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What did he say ?
Apoplectic1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:30:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke
Moustache_Ryder ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's half the joke. Ludvig was Beethoven's name. Beethoven went gradually deaf over his career.
ForgottenPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about Van Gogh who cut off his own goddamn ear or so they say
DannyHayter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the other half???
Moustache_Ryder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:01 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We did it reddit, we found the whole joke!!
BWallyC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, I'll have a beer.
Jbota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
DoomBot5 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HE DID SAY EAR
WhiteRabbit86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ludwig van Beethoven was deaf.
DoomBot5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But Van Gogh only had 1 ear.
IJustThinkOutloud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hah nice catch
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, 1 practiced ear
dement_mouche ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's brilliant!
-917- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:11:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CannibalVegan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Luckily Luddy still had both ears. It was Vince that lost one....
MightyGamera ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:45:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't work so good though
hornplayer94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Luddy was also profoundly deaf.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SailZStarZ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:35:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vincent Van Gogh chopped off one of his ears, while Ludwig Van Beethoven went completely deaf.
Ardbeg66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What? Did she call back?"
FartOfDestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're thinking of vincent
Satarob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's his brother the sommelier.
earlyworm ยท 1086 points ยท Posted at 03:40:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant.
LongAppendage ยท 277 points ยท Posted at 03:49:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So do you get the bird then?
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 03:56:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only when he drives like an asshole.
BAXterBEDford ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:54:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't drive like my brother.
bucksbrewersbadgers ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:59:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, it's me, your brother.
tm24fan8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:20:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love Car Talk!
BAXterBEDford ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:37:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're getting ready to stop playing the repeats.
tm24fan8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know...makes me sad. I've been listening to that show since I was a kid!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How sad. :( I wish I could have heard them when they first aired
texasroadkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And don't drive like my brother. I miss that show.
godgoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your username an In The Night Garden reference?
NiggyWiggyWoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Nah, afraid not, just a childhood nickname.
PM_ME_coded_msgs ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:15:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but only the one in the bush. Just half the value; still decent.
censoredandagain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not many bushes in the bay area, lots of hardwood.
BEAVER_ATTACKS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
;)
censoredandagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out. F'n snapper.
proud_to_be_a_merkin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ve_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i hope its grilled
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've always considered the late worm as the true hero of that saying.
IronicMetaphors ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bird is the word.
throwupthursday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only in the face. When I'm on a roller coaster. And when I'm Fabio.
drew__breezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another worm? Are they friends?
Known_User ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bird is the word.
xerithakyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
everyone has a pidgey
NsfwOlive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no, the bird was a bit too close to asphalt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bird is the word
MiamiPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bird is the Word.
workroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP's brother is Larry Bird.
BigBiskit22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bully!
Andthentherewasbacon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:06:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't say "Brilliant", say "Well Done".
earlyworm ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:18:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, in what context is "Brilliant" offensive and bullying? I wasn't being sarcastic, and I meant to imply that the comment I was replying to was literally brilliant, and funny. Is the word brilliant offensive in England? Sorry if my comment was misinterpreted.
Andthentherewasbacon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:13:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, no I was commenting on your comment in the fashion with which you had said Brilliant, which is a slightly too far phrase for someone pretending to be a wine snob. I think Well Done captures the douchiness you are looking for better. Did that make sense?
classic_douche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You explained it but it still doesn't make sense.
earlyworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL that is awesome. Nice one.
LazyPancake ยท 257 points ยท Posted at 03:45:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're a wordsmith. That seriously makes all the difference!
[deleted] ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 03:56:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
buminthecorner ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 04:09:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, used to actually be one. The title was "copy writer" but I was pretty much a wordsmith.
gregermeister ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 04:30:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I'm currently a copywriter. My entire job is "So...How can you say x without actually saying x? Also, can you make it sound like a good thing?" Wordsmith feels apt.
VitaminEh ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 06:16:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am also a copywriter. "So, we need you to tell the unique story of X." I've only got 65 words, which always seems like far too many or not nearly enough.
Also, totally stealing wordsmith as my go to job description.
haagiboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you done any jobs helping people write work applications and cv?
tigeh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:06:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is of those things people assume wordsmiths do but people who need them generally don't have the funds to pay our hourly, or are friends and we don't charge and they don't appreciate our skill.
haagiboy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:12:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought ๐ Thanks for the answer!
hobbycollector ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I forge metaphors within the foundry of simile". Or something.
W_Wilson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another copy writer here. Boss man gave me a fancy pen for my birthday. The kind of pen 'every wordsmith should have'.
I've always jerked my own chain calling myself a wordsmith. Was deeply gratifying to hear it come from someone else. Someone in the know, no less.
LoliProtector ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:45:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone
in the know, no lesswith a practiced ear, no less.FTFY
UTTO_NewZealand_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wr0ngThread ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
take my points please.
edit: This is awkward, I meant to write this comment somewhere else
SilverFuchs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:02:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would get business cards printed that read
"gregermeister - propagandist"
purduephotog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I have these goals for work. Convert oxygen into co2. Metabolize caffeine. Don't point out how idiotic things are.
Can you help me?
smashimi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:27:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, did you graduate from uni/college to get that job? I'm in my second year, majoring in professional writing and I have a feeling when I get my degree I'll be lucky to be a manager of a fast-food franchise.
PMmeuroneweirdtrick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so that's how we go from pyramid scheme to reverse funnel system
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs a really cool job. I suck at wording things.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You suck at everything.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Son_of_Warvan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:38:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For example, you could say that he has yet to master all of his interests, and add that he's giving it an honest effort.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:(
atabbott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's something my grandfather used to do. Always fascinated me!
aoiph ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is there something/somewhere i can learn about "word smith" i can TALK well.. just not... "type" well..
Absolvo_Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, how can you praise this thing that actually doesn't do anything? And don't forget SEO keywords.
WhenTheBeatKICK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
kindve want to amend my resume to say wordsmith instead of copywriter, because thats exactly what a wordsmith would do
GiveAManAFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a university for engineering and aviation. A chemical engineering student built a "______ engineer" title for everyone he met. I was gifted with the wonderful, kind, and joyful title of "Wordsmith Engineer."
One of these days, I'll genuinely print that on at least one business card, just to keep. The other, boring "freelance writer" ones will have to do for doing actual business.
txchik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bet you get more business as "Wordsmith Engineer".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And my high school English teacher told me Bullshit Artist wasn't a valid career option.
Kozeyekan_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:20:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a decent title. I'm a copy writer, and the only other title I was allowed to put on my cards was "Bullshit Fabricator". To be honest, I liked it enough to actually use it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs amazing.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sphaxle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:50:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like blacksmith.
buminthecorner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but pretentiousness is an essential career skill for it.
okcup ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:10:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Product marketing manager here, you're hired
LazyPancake ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 03:58:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While not the actual job title, you'd be shocked how many jobs there are out there specifically pertinent to this talent!
[deleted] ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 04:26:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GangsterObama ยท 139 points ยท Posted at 04:50:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
UHM, aren't you just describing the plot to that will smith movie "Hitch" ?
[deleted] ยท 259 points ยท Posted at 05:09:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, Hitch charged a lot more than $50. He's describing the cheap knock off, his college buddy Mitch.
barcelonaKIZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This could be a B-movie named "Mitch"
kenabi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than his other cheap buddy from the projects, Bitch. $3 ain't getting you far with a decent lady.
SomeAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bitch was dumped in a ditch though, so we don't need to worry about him any more.
kenabi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
bitch turned snitch? man, what a crazy sitch.
SomeAnonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:00 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can appreciate the efficiency though, it went off without a hitch. Imagine if he'd gotten a stitch!
VagueSomething ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the cheaper version of Hitch was Rohypnol.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/vaguesomething was a pig! I refused to work with him.
3n1g ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see what you did there...
cryonova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck yeah, shout out to all my mitches!!
Mitch_Mitcherson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
PaintWithRazorblades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His friend is Ryan Jauzemis.
lIamachemist ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:50:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was your friend Will Smith?
Captain-fach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No a knock off. Bill miph
OnlyOneWordAnswer ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MIB?
DentD ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:52:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what, he was Hitch?
HauntedCemetery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So does he have a business website or something...?
STIPULATE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a friend of course.
lickmygomjabbar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the saddest thing I've ever heard
StraY_WolF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he also have a sister from a different mother?
proud_to_be_a_merkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
CrazyFlamesZero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a fucking clickbait title
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Awesome can you tell him to post his research on Reddit, might help us all
PepperSprayEnema ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did he wear a tactical vest and soap shoes?
Leonyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Was one in university. I am a lawyer now; valuable in my country where English proficiency is not top-notch but most work related documents are in English.
svullenballe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:02:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was what? A redpiller?
gellinmagellin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I gave my shit away for free back in school.
trollfessor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what were the guy's lines?
whoevenami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do i get in touch with your friend, or get a hold of this excel sheet?
tck3131 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Text Jake!
7in7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a PUA.... They use social and psychological tricks to objectify their chosen target. And charge money for teaching the 'art'.
realjefftaylor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in finance (investment banking / private equity) and sooo much of my job is wordsmithing various memos. Probably more of that than actual math.
slashy42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a marketing guy, not a manger mind you, just a marketing guy. He essentially gets paid to sit at has desk and read trade magazines and websites. However he's also "the wordsmith." A few times a day other marketing people bring him campaigns or PR material and he workshops it for a few minutes and sends them back copy.
He's also kind of weird. Leaves random stuff on other people's desk that he thinks is hilarious, and everyone else just kinda scratches their heads over. Nice guy though, and has a nack for the written word.
MadeWithRealMeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays, we call them languagers.
LazyPancake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Linguists, even!
MadeWithRealMeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was a Rick and Morty reference...
LazyPancake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:47 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right over my head. Oops
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Copywriters are the ones I know of, and the good ones can get paid very well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Presidential speech writer. They always have to write to have the president say something without ever really saying it... Although I heard the golden days ended in 2008 after Bush left. Whoever got Bush to say "evil-doers" is a god damn genius.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:42:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm: earn over $100k a year writing speeches.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:51:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SirSoliloquy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:49:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. For Trump.
He has the best words.
Elephant454 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me. Terrific. Everyone loves 'em.
babaroga73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a video on youtube with a guy breaking down Trump speeches by words, how good they impact listeners, etc. No kidding. Should check out. Awesome.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smother of words?
There are a number of pathways to speechwriting.
Probably the most common entry pathway is to work for a politician of some kind. Politicians and other elected officials have a lot of speaking engagements, and will usually have at least one speechwriter. Writing speeches for a politician is a good place to cut your teeth as they are usually not expected to be subject-matter experts but tend to talk more broadly, thematically and grandiosely about the context of whatever they are discussing, which makes it easier.
But it is not just politicians who need speechwriters, or other communications professionals. A lot of CEOs or other C-Suite people need speechwriters, the heads of government agencies (which is who I currently work for) need speechwriters and basically any other party who regularly engages in public speaking in connection with their work will need a speechwriter.
That is how I came to it. Worked for a politician, and now for the head of a government agency. It pays well, and is a highly sought after skillset.
Also - you don't need a degree to be a speechwriter. You just need to be able to write. For other comms positions you will usually require some kind of communications qualification.
Xazrael ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The actual job-shopping title is "Marketing Manager" or "Marketing Director".
commandercool86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they're called lawyers.
CannibalVegan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you can create a retirement on upvotes and reddit gold.
Ranzear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See also: Fucksmith (NSFW) (Duh)
3n1g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just look at rappers.
They completely hammer the english language on a daily basis and make millions.
UncleTogie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's not a wordsmith! He's a fuckin' tergivesator!!!
MelvinDickpictweet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.johnlangdon.net/works/wordsmith/
IronicMetaphors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Master wordsmith.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aww
zeelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fartsmith. Would you like me to recite a poem?
mcmonkey819 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure beats being the Poopsmith.
AtomicSagebrush ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 03:48:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spent five years in the wine industry--this is spot on.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:08:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
past 5 to current or previously in life
AtomicSagebrush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Previously; I think I left around 2002. Worked primarily as a Jack-of-all-trades and mechanic, but also worked in the tasting room and various wine-related events. I've seen more wine snobs than I can reasonably count, and I would have used OP's trick in a heartbeat if I'd known about it at the time.
kuhndawg8888 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
trained ear. You can practice all day, my family has been doing it for generations.
epicluke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, didn't you check his username? Too soon...
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
;)
Careless_Hillary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you can give yourself away in that environment.
blofly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To add...the Doppler Effect
...sounds nearby will acoustically appear, ever so slightly, as if they're receding from your position...if the taster says a word, sharply grasp the glass and push it into the side of your head, completely covering your ear canal...then nod accordingly...
...yeah, I could some-ellyer...
eccentricelmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im an English major and I approve of your edit (it's about all I'm good for)
TylerWolfe15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an English major.
phoenix7700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet I could use this on my roomate who knows jack shit about wine and he'd believe me.
ShamefulGamerBJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So fancy I just might die
mtbt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can't wait to read the TIL when this raving new trend is revealed as a hoax from the Internet forum thingy called reddit.
Linking an article on buzz feed of course.
Dark_Karma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dextrosity made me read your username as "aDAMNPARROT" can you be a bird instead please?
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can be whatever you want me to be
GophersanDeerts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you're good.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have several advanced degrees in memeology
L00pback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit, I'm so excited to go to work tomorrow. I work in IT and bunch of the managers talk about wine. This is gunna be great.
It can't get here soon enough!
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good luck son
bspinne26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try just: but still apparent..., that'll hook em deep
Elec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've missed seeing you around /r/eve, you winning at Eve now?
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Winning for about 2 years now, it's fantastic. You?
Elec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see. Nah, I'm still playing. In TEST now. I'm enjoying myself, the TEST culture is a fun one.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's your in game name?
Elec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Raltera Muvila.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I don't remember you did we play together?
Elec0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe we did, no.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
7o lol
BeadyEyed123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on snobbery level.
DMercenary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about "It's really more about an acquired sound."
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this is good
lunarmodule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does this have to do with southern hospitality?
Millasdiosturd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to a practiced ear*
blacksd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This is getting suspiciously similar to the EDIT Seamless Collaborative Guy Lie in Scrubs!
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Uhhh I've watched every episode of scrubs at least 3 times and I dunt get the reference
blacksd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, refresh your memory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUcHRgREmPk
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh see if you had used the proper name I would have understood!
TheVitoCorleone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What else are you lying about!?
badrussiandriver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or use: "It runs in the family. Great grandmother worked in a insert bizarre trade here Down pillow factory, violin wax factory, silkworm farm and she could out-down pillow, violin wax, silkworm farm all of her fellow employees."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This guy is in the know...I just can tell
Elbradamontes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or refined ear. Jab Jab body blow.
i_never_get_mad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
found an audiophile!
kalpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've obviously read a lot of audiophile catalogues.
ZippyDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
grammatically that should be "to a practiced ear"
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:35:57 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing no one noticed until now
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:14:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, a douche is arrogant about liking wine, how unsurprising. /u/aDAMNPATRIOT, I remember you from many racist posts in your past.
aDAMNPATRIOT ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:18:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you may be mentally challenged, so I'm sorry brother and good luck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I was your brother, it'd be guaranteed I'm mentally challenged. As it turns out, I just disagree with the way you've chosen to live life.
I.e., like an asshole.
I wish you the best in your crawls across the bottom of life. I truly do hope your life improves and you stop with the little-dick hate personality. You're clearly at least at a manageable level of intelligence - is this really the best you can manage?
tomoldbury ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 03:33:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be more bullshit, try "listening for an echo", explaining that only bad wines will produce an echo.
MegaMan2wasrad ยท 442 points ยท Posted at 03:39:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a bit like hearing the ocean in a conch shell. The best wines convey a distinct aural signature that speaks to the flavor profile."
Talkat ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 04:05:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whoa, I didn't know that. That's awesome.
IJustThinkOutloud ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 04:15:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It also has to do with soundwaves. A properly blended wine will emit soundwaves in patterns that are favourable to your inner ear, and you won't notice them. Poorly blended wines emit sound waves that bounce off each other and disrupt the workings of your inner ear, and you will notice a slight pitch change from the sounds of the room when your ear is at the proper length away from the glass.
cacahahacaca ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 05:01:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The actual scientific explanation is that poorly blended wines resonate at odd frequency intervals, whereas well blended ones do so at even frequency intervals.
IJustThinkOutloud ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:03:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I spent so much time listening to my wine I forgot the correct terminology
Ripperman91 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:59:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's so much bullshitting going on right now, I can't remember if this is a thing or not haha
Kozeyekan_ ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:26:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's also the maturation process. The current trend of arrogantly ignoring the centuries old tradition of ageing wine in oak barrels has given way to the use of stainless steel vats. While there is less spoilage in this process, the steel forms a hard barrier, while the oak lets the wine soak into the wood, and then ebb back as temperature and pressure change according to the seasons.
The end result is that the steel-aged wine has a lot greater surface tension than the barrel-aged vintages. The greater surface tension reflects sound, just as ice reflects more sound than water. The arrogance and corporate greed of modern viticulture has robbed contemporary vintages of the aural note that we expect from a fine Syrah, and if it continues, even the best Shiraz may one day sound like a cheap Merlot. It is truly an inditement on the industry that this may eventuate.
hobbycollector ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whereas pure varietals have no harmonics.
DickZierecht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Incredible! The things I learn on Reddit.
scotscott ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:42:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no you idiot, different molecules vibrate at different frequencies. Despite these generally being measured in the billions or trillions of cycles per second, a well trained ear can detect them like a mass spectrometer and hear the exact composition of the wine.
looks_good_in_pink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The truly complex and balanced wines can, to the wine drinker with the right training, begin to sound like musical chords, where each molecule becomes one note of the scale. There was this one lovely pinot noir I once had from Oregon that was a perfect A minor...
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:09:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't just woo stuff either, you can actually stick a microphone at the top of the glass and see how the sound waves change on an oscilloscope. For a well-balanced flavour profile you should see the peaks flatten a little because the frequencies reflected by the wine have more harmonics, giving an effect a bit like very subtle distortion. A good wine will have more even harmonic distortion, a bit like a valve amplifier.
Like I say, it's not just subjective woo stuff. It's right there in the physics.
himanshu9813 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Over sell
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't take my word for it. Try it for yourself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
whoa, I didn't know that. That's awesome.
GoalDirectedBehavior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the hertz hurts, don't drink it.
MiamiPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Decepticons Superior (featuring Soundwave)
https://youtu.be/nsLcTtCrqwg
yourbrotherrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"...Sounds almost like a rusty screen door opening. If you really concentrate, and are in tune with the wine, you can't miss it."
Cannot wait for the next wine tasting I'm forced to attend at work.
scribbler8491 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:27:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True fact: When I was a kid in the 1950's (back when coins were actual money), I was taught that the easiest way to tell a counterfeit coin was to drop it on a hard surface. A genuine coin will make a musical "ding" sound, while a counterfeit will make a dull thud. Not making this up.
Imtheone457 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
seconded, I've heard it as well
Edit: autidory test @ 5:20 of this video
iCUman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. This is the one that made me want to strangle puppies.
vigtel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Actually, the Chablis is particularly excellent for this exercise, as the marine fossile conch shells found in the soil from which these grapes grow, give an added boost in sound!"
nairebis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:33:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[pulls out a tiny, delicate silver hammer]
You must tap the glass and listen for the distinctive ring that speaks the right balance of the vitis vinifera fermentation level. It's often the only way to really let the character of the terrior come through. Don't you prefer the 92% silver over the 90%? I find it gives a more subtle tone in the lower frequencies. Of course, I'm not one of those madmen that go 93% or 94%. I simply can't deal with the dulled harmonics.
bxblox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The hammer should be produced from a chain draped around your neck. Jewlers loupe attachment optional.
Pavotine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some terriors are snappy little gits barking all the time whilst other terriors are sweet little lap dogs.
Tyle55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An echo from what sound though? You gotta make it sound like it could be true.
harrison3bane ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 03:48:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this entire thread a Frasier episode?
paging_doctor_who ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 03:59:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Maris was wondering the same thing.
cendasprime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I simply asked her to refrain from catalog shopping during our sessions.
delayedreactionkline ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:00:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I miss that show. Now, thanks to you, I have to go re-watch them.
Information_High ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:31:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You might enjoy swinging by r/frasier.
A surprising amount of activity there for an older show -- though Frasier definitely merits it.
KalutikaKink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Netflix. All of it. Do it...
The_Oddest_Owl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:00:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha!! That's the first thing I thought of reading this thread!! I bet that guy in the pic is a Corkmaster.
Derkek ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:59:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such an underrated show
At first blush, it's mildly stale adult humor, but if you watch it, it's reminiscent of King of the Hill in quality, reality, and absurdnessness.
hattmall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:24:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love Frasier, but was it really underrated?
MyAnacondaDoess ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a little too dated for me, can't get into it.
Derkek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's precisely what makes it worse/better for me
skipperdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:47:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, reddit does have an overabundance of "tossed salads" and "scrambled eggs". If you know what I mean.
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 03:51:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your ear isn't refined enough, another way to note the wine's microquality is to lie down with a cloth over your face and pour the wine over the cloth.
[deleted] ยท 581 points ยท Posted at 03:56:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the Guantanamo technique.
i_am_the_devil_ ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 04:05:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wineboarding, eh? I'll have to try it sometime.
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 09:18:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Works better when paired with a good Cheeseboarding.
Skoin_On ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:13:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
using only the finest of Beard-eauxes
i_am_the_devil_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
None of that fancy schmancy stuff for me. MD 20/20 all the way, baby!
Atmarks88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:37:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said Cersei Lannister
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen it during Spring Break.
tookTHEwrongPILL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
5/7 would get drunk really fast again
Arrogant_Anaconda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cersei invented it.
heavy_84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, the Winetanamo technique.
dog_eat_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:47:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The general feeling of complete terror is offset perfectly by the nice buzz.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to be a professional. You can get training in Afghanistan.
ThaWZA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just go back to when you hadn't quite figured out how to take shots. Same feeling.
trivial_trivium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shame! Shame! Shame!
i_am_the_devil_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Away with you and your Seven. I feel no shame for anything I've done.
wmby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wineboarding
FoxyBastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guantanamerlot.
Redplant96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well it does sound exotic..ish
ScoutsOut389 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You got to fireboard those mother jammers!
pakachiku ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:58:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was reading this thread during a lecture and started laughing uncontrollably at this point
skipperdog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just know a redditor is doing this somewhere right now.
cooking_question ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The "sound" that the wine imparts is a sense of place, not in a location, but more of time and space. For those with a developed sense of hearing, the wine will hint at how the vines were tended, and even how the glass itself was made. It transcends consciousness and speaks to you.
It is known as the silence of the vine, the music of the wine. Enjoy.
Damnmorrisdancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I heard heard this in my head with johny Ives' voice.
CraZyCsK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this was beautiful the words just rolled off the tongue. Was able to say it with a straight face. I'll have to use it.
Focus_OK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to use this for everything from detecting water in fuel, to dirty engine oil. Just because.
ctindel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's when the bay area engineer says that sound is just changes in air pressure detected by your inner ear.
Navyguy330 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know norm. "It's not so much that you hear it mind you, it's more about the change in air pressure created within the glass as this process occurs. It's easily detectable by the inner ear as a pressure change, similar to flying at high altitudes or diving deep underwater, more subtle of course, but quite apparent to those in the know."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to "yawn" to pop your ears afterwards.
slvrblt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in the voice of Patrick Bateman
MontanaSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that you are hearing the wine, it's that the wine is hearing you.
ssl-3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So it's more about the shape of the cowbell, than of the voluminous nature of any such cowbell.
Got it.
rubberseatbelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The sound is not unlike that of rats being tickled.
battletactics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. If this becomes a thing in the wine community started by the trolling of snobs, it would be epic.
Theres_A_FAP_4_That ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in Patrick Bateman's voice. Awesome
CerveloFellow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love it!
promptsuccor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait this is an actual thing! Or the likes of this is. My God. I don't claim this specific sensitivity but we as humans are gona pass some shit up for a while cus no one wants anyone to be better than them
nermid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He literally just described the physical process of your sense of hearing.
promptsuccor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol nermind, but I'm saying we humans have more potential to grow into
btmlbk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I must warn you, some people are highly sensitive to this, and can get a feeling of vertigo with a lower quality wine that can persist for hours.
lurker_now_accholder ยท 688 points ยท Posted at 02:09:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nar, use your homosexual face
[deleted] ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 02:47:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nar? Is that the low speech I hear, gunslinger? Come from the callas?
warlockjones ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 03:07:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hile, friend! Long days and pleasant nights to you.
[deleted] ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 03:13:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thankee-sai! And may you have twice the number.
ggg730 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:33:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All things serve the beam, it seems.
shenanigins ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/StephenKing is leaking again.
MelodyMyst ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:23:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clarify that reference please
nitrous2401 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:43:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
- Eddie Dean
ggg730 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:39:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gunslinger series by Stephen King.
gellinmagellin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:24:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spits wine on carpet Water for your crops.
Keep_Yourself_Warm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:32:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Death for you, life for my crop
irishspuds ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:24:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hear me, I beg.
I say thank ya big big!
AstarteHilzarie ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 03:33:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.... unexpecteddarktower.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:40:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smangit724 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:06:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come comealla come
Sawses ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How does it do you?
lurker_now_accholder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf is a callas?
RevenantCephalopod ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:08:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't even know his calla. Must be just returned from the Thunderclap, all Roont and the like.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:12:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get Andy over here ASAP! I've got questions.
Nar, he won't have answers. Pray the Man Jesus those wolves don't come back.
TheMovement ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:07:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have forgotten the face of your father.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:14:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't ken
Ruckus44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thedarktower
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:27 on August 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or, to be confused, /r/darktower
omgwutd00d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
welt tha falk iz evun gong on?
Kill_The_Kraken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:29:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ka
ShittingFuckballs ยท 454 points ยท Posted at 02:24:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, his face?
AcidRam ยท 167 points ยท Posted at 02:53:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody call the fire brigade!
MachoNinja ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 03:03:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you calling him a flamer? That's rude..
dusmeyedin ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 03:14:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two hundred degrees, that's why they call him Mister Fahrenheit...
mamacrocker ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:29:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna make a supersonic man outta you.
FuckTheClippers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:03:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't stop me now
johnnyconquers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:42:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause I'm having' a good time
SKEFFboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my real dad
dusmeyedin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your big daddy's got no place to stay - bad communication!
I feel like the President of the USA...
SKEFFboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ(=เน x เน=)โ
snidleewhiplash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well they call me Heat Miser
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:24:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WalropsHunter ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:32:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't stop him now, if you wanna have a good time, just give him a call!!
Oh. Didn't have to change that one.
Dragonic2020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you wanna have a good time, just give him a call!
hotterthanahandjob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh most definitely
bino420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too late for fire brigade. Burn unit req'd
rhinofinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something about sliding down a fire pole
JJ_The_Jet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, their kinda busy with the whole state being on fire. Luckily, he can go to any one of these places to seek treatment: Treatment options.
Nessie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're more into craft beer. Oh. Never mind.
Blue_Phoenix912 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:05:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice name
Pranks_ ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:24:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ohhhhh maaayyyy Gawwwddddd.
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 02:26:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. Wine. Sounds. jazz hands Fabulous!
chlorinehead ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:39:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read this in Linda Belcher's voice.
d_b_cooper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:43:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooo, Bawby, try this wiiine....
freshme4t ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:39:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read it in Fran's
DadJokeBadJoke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking it's more Richard Simmons.
Ehiltz333 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Get Little King Trashmouth some wine."
"Wine, Lin? Really? He's a raccoon."
"Yeah, he likes red. A little bit too much of you ask me."
montanagunnut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While actually saying the " jazz hands" part out loud.
InukChinook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Donut to me.
Advertise_this ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in Lloyd Grossman's voice, am I close?
mostnormal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:25:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I demand equal face rights!
tookTHEwrongPILL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered
pangecc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone call him his mother, cuz he's got no manners whatsoever
ConstipatedNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's California's bay area. Even his homosexual face is pretty hetero in comparison.
mecichandler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nar.
Arfbark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If San Francisco, yes. If Oakland, hell no.
ChefChopNSlice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://youtu.be/UG0qI67lzQ0
wrench_thrower ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 02:49:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Likely will be wine tasting in "that other bay area wine destination" this weekend, prepare to overhear it from the group sneaking racer 5 into the winery and inviting ladies back for arousing games of smash and CAH.
Poached_Polyps ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:03:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Livermore?
Granadafan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:20:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Livermore is a great region which deserves more recognition.
kaydaryl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Livermore is also* developing a whisky culture.
Fishing-Bear ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:41:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To paraphrase Anthony Bourdain: it's a drink, not a culture.
Byaaah1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat? I knew about their developing beer scene (Altamont is the tits and a half) but hadn't heard about a distillery.
kaydaryl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Schubros in San Ramon is pretty good too. My wife's uncle grew up in Dublin and owns Cool Beerwerks so his stuff shows up in Livermore a lot as well!
tahoetwinplanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like 8 bridges more.
Poached_Polyps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially with me here!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyyy me too. First Street alehouse is bomb.
WhiskeyPrettyPit28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beer Baron has a kickass selection.
shenanigins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, seriously? I lived there for a few years when I was a kid. I thought it was a middle of no where slightly bigger than a farm town, town with nothing other than the Lab going for it. Huh, interesting.
gelfin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, it's pretty much still that, only they also make booze.
shenanigins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so, it's like Russia?
Erickster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like tasting in Livermore. :-|
tahoetwinplanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Livermore all day.
anothercarguy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:09:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
honestly hit paso robles. Hasn't reached the amusement park status of that one place
wrench_thrower ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:24:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've done Paso and Livermore, both much less snooty, but I'll be tromping around Healdsburg this time, hence the racer 5 comment. Seems like it'll be a a cross between Napa snoot and Marin hippies....snippies?
Funkydiscohamster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same tourists as Napa come to Sonoma, especially Healdsburg, Windsor. Go further west.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ANAL_ANARCHY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will the wine be descending in an elevator or the stairs?
nmathew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've not really encountered snobs in Sonoma. Napa on the otherhand.....
AskMrScience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If you truly want to pay a winery for the privilege of abusing you, hit up Twomey. Great wine, horrible people.
But the best kept secret of the area is up in Geyserville: Mercury Wine and Ramazzotti Wines, which have tasting rooms right next door to each other in what is euphemistically called "downtown". Both are fantastic.
googleypoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hopland, about 30 mins north of Healdsburg, has some great wine tasting and some down to earth people. One of the wineries had this lonesome gal working there with no other patrons and we tried every wine plus the $500/bottle bourbon. Turns out our other friends had been to this place too, same story, one single girl working there and they drank together till everyone passed out at 2am.
Plus, the scenery is awesome. Aww yiss I love me some oak trees and golden hills.
tahoetwinplanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's your favorite spot in Livermore?
Swimmingbird3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snoopies As a Napkin and I approve of this bay area monicker
insainodwayno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't snippies the Jewish place?
nerfherder998 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can taste how the Firestone is exactly the right distance from the asphalt.
iCUman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Central coast is pretty much heaven on earth for me.
anothercarguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is changing. I hit <shudder> Daou recently. $50 tasting for par $20 wine
barbrady123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was just there last weekend! Good times...and some great wineries.
Granadafan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amusement park? That also describes Temecula. Worst wine region I've ever been to. Wines are terrible too
justatouchcrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But at least Temecula doesn't take itself too seriously, at least not on a busy weekend. The vibe there when I've gone has always been more "Well, I don't mind wine. Let's have a day outside and get drunk fairly cheaply!"
Granadafan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Temecula was really expensive, $20-25 for 4 -5 tastings. It was a party atmosphere and huge crowds. I felt like I was at a club fighting my way to the bar. Santa Ynez and Paso at much more calm and cheaper. People there are cool and the wines are tons better
justatouchcrazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Either I went to cheaper wineries or prices have gone way up in the last two years. Admittedly, I usually stuck to smaller wineries but I always expected to pay around $2/sample, plus or minus. That and if you have a military ID a lot of the bigger places are free or half off, so that helped.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was down there not too long ago. Its all San Diego has... Its like Willamette valley, lots of pride for sub par wines. The region is wrong. It may be everyone wants a chardonnay or a Bordeaux but if your region is best for a muscat, you should be growing muscat
Granadafan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't the Willamette Valley known for its Pinot Noir?
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They sure claim to be. Been there, tried many of the recommended ones, all were way overpriced for what you were getting.
ThaWZA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
St. Innocent though.
But yeah a lot of the commonly recommended ones are mediocre at best. People like it because it's been cool to hate on Cali Pinot for a few years now (imo for good reason.) and you get to pretend it's equal to the stuff the french make(same latitude bro!).
Mouton Noir is probably the best right now. I don't know about on the west coast but here on the east it's still pretty underexposed.
Ras_TafarhIgh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell people that, the LA, Bay Area and valley crowds this summer are making my hometown insufferable lol. It's a horrible place, go to Napa!
privatestudy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love Paso. One time I got so drunk I convince Michael, of THE Michael's, to stay open late to make us a private dinner. Best nite I've had. That guy is a class act. I hope he's still open.
Bitchbitchbitcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I speak English yet understand nothing in your comment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with racer 5.. good beer
Are they trying to impress the ladies although they just want to drink beer?
damontoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bear Republic is in Healdsburg. Just skip the wine tasting and go tour some breweries. I also recommend Lagunitas on the way.
vetelmo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I drive by Wineries on 101 in NorCal everyday. I always wonder how much smog effects the quality.
trentblase ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I always wondered about this. In theory, it should be GOOD for the grapes, because they will metabolize the extra CO2, but the other chemicals... who knows?
TrustMeImMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Californian wines beat French wines in some competition or other back in 06/07 so the other gunk can't be that bad for the grapes.
According to my French teacher at the time, Madame Balasteri
chuckymcgee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair it's just norcal not Beijing.
vetelmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True dat!
DarknessRain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also live in the bay. Now I know if I ever hear someone say this to beat them up.
Funkydiscohamster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too - god those people!
GentlemanShark1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bay Area here too, can't wait
touge_k1ng ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But where in the Bay area tho. And what do you drive.
combuchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If somebody's surviving in the Bay Area, I'm guessing a 2010s Gillig or New Flyer, a '68 - '71 Rohr A or B, or an '87 - '89 Alstom C1.
There's also the premium Invisible or the 80s - early 90s Bipedal. Great way to get around.
The Ansalo-Bredas from the 1990s are giant whores tho.
-VismundCygnus- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know some of these words.
combuchan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I was making a joke that somebody who is in the Bay Area can't afford to drive.
Gilligs and New Flyers are common bus manufacturers here, the Rohrs and Alstoms are the makers of our decrepit fleet of BART commuter rail cars, and the Invisible and Bipedals are jokes for those that take things into their own hands.
Ansalo-Breda made San Francisco MUNI (the public transit agency in the City) light rail cars in the 1990s, and they've been massively problematic pieces of shit on steel wheels ever since.
ErdmanA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in pleasant hill. Just left Berkeley. Where you at?
ObviouslyAnnie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:02:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. This move has "Wente" written all over it.
KWITHI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, I love Wente's Nth, it's one of the few reds I can drink without getting dry mouth
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spent a few years working on wineries in the Napa Valley, and i laughed pretty hard at this.
ProDrug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bay area? Wouldn't it be these hops were grown too close to GMO corn which causes them to have a cruder IBU content
JDizzle69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No you won't, you'll bottle it.
tahoetwinplanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a winery and read this comment on BART. Love it.
JuggyBrodelsteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the part where I fart in my wine glass and sniff it real good?
DarthRedditAlien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To get on a wine train in Napa and tell everyone who will listen about this
nebnamfuak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you work in Marin County you'll be a billionaire in no time.
ChiefFireTooth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want you to report back with stats of how many people just went with it. Like a Kickstarter of disappointment.
TrustMeImMagic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:59:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kickstarter of disappointment. My new headstone engraving. I plan on having a 30 foot high headstone with bullet points of my favorite moments and quotes
SpasticFeedback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's obvious that the tar content from the asphalt creates a harsh acidity not optimal for the vine. You can really notice it in the 2014 and 2015 vintages when they started to repave all the roads after the earthquake.
ibrakeforsquirrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Santa Clara and I don't even like wine but now I'm going to attend wine tastings just to hear someone say this
act5312 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sonoma?
goose_on_fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always laugh at things like this, and then I think "But what if he's right? That would really be something."
xcalibre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, taste that?
Carbon monoxide has bitter tanninoids.
{sip, swoosh, inhale bubbles, spit}
Definitely grown within 100 miles of a populated area.
4LostSoulsinaBowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I also live in the Bay Area. I will call out "REPOST" if I hear this.
Gammachan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOD I could have used this before now. I live right in wine country, very close to Sonoma county.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also in the Bay Area, CA-- I'll see you there, glass of wine held to ear. :-)
dollahbill_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll be doing the same the next time I'm in Santa Barbara.
anothercarguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go to Napa first. This way you can experience snobbery at its full power
EmptyMatchbook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seconded!
oversettDenee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've seen it start here folks.
damontoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially since a highway runs right through the center of the Napa Valley. This would taint a ton of very popular vineyards. You know, if grapes contained alcohol or whatever. :D
seafood10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also, had it not been an El Niรฑo year the asphalt would have resulted in a higher phosphorus level there by resulting in a more buttery finish.
Now, who's ready to listen to the wine?
Jazzcat-ii-V ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sonoma County native. Will be using for sure.
Javad0g ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grew up in Sonoma County, will be using this also.
Metatality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also in the Bay Area, I prefer to sniff it and claim it's grapes get too much ocean fog, raising their salinity, and making the wine more course. I used to work at a country club and would often get thoughtful nods.
Star_Tropic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I too live in wine country. Will be using this.
tefoak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Immediately followed by "I have to return some videotapes."
metalhead-cowgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same! Lmao Napa is guilty af of this
DantesInferno3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Sonoma county and my family is in the wine business. I will DEFINITELY be using this. I can't get over how funny this is.
itonlygetsworse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I don't actually think this will work unless the wine snob is also a complete idiot though. Like let's say they are a pretend snob, even then they should know that the atmospheric worm ratio of the soil is more important than the citric content of the asphalt road.
Swimmingbird3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in Napa, working in restaurants and I have said shit like this before to overly pretentious snobs. No laughs were had
Life_Tripper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have a straight face all you want but you know that there is likely shit in asphalt and what is used as filler to help lay it down is likely radioactive. Those hazards vests are a secret component for social indoctrination.
Vid-szhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the greater Los Angeles area--do I need to finish that sentence?
Skrp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd look so confused, conflicted about whether or not I'm a complete idiot for not understanding how that could possibly have an effect on alcohol content, or whether you're a complete moron or a troll.
I might just avoid conflict and play along, and then move on, shaking my head and tutting, and I'm not even a brit.
AndrewBrisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i need to use this in livermore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not terroir.
rubberseatbelt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my day, our grapes contained lead and we liked it that smells purple.
alarbus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That I-5 terroir aint got nothing on RN-74 tho..
SpockTheIllogical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
San Mateo County?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:29:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
be sure to throw out words like "Denominazione di Origine Controllata" and "burgundy"
crazyeyeguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I just bought a Prius and... (-_-) ... I just think that being acoustically enlightened enhances our connection with the Earth and provides a richer sense of being that otherwise goes unnoticed by the masses because the global media conglomerate is paid to pull the wool over everyone's eyes by the asphalt tycoons controlling the wine market?
THAAAaaaaaanks!
unflores ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Use the french word for tar, that'll sound refined. "Slight notes of goudron."
ewbf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually true... I learned that when I spent a few years in France. It was an article in the Wine Digest.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would give you over watered if the grapes were grown parallel to the road, but that is all.
ewbf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also depends on the number of days of sun the grapes enjoyed. The saying goes: even is sweet for Steven, odd it'll taste like sod.
mmaannww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that light sweet crude?
Jinmannn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy Monterey bay or SF bay
SuperHighDeas ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean San Francisco?
rahbean ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:21:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just referred to your home as the Bay Area, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually believed this.
IanAndersonLOL ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:07:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in the Bay Area 26 years. No idea why you mentioned it.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(Pssst the best wine country in the US is CA and some of the most pretentious wine snobs are an hour north of sf)
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
North bay checking in. I always wondered how the smog affects grapes.
PM_ME_2DISAGREEWITHU ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 01:21:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes of course. Obviously.
You should hear the arnim sauvignon rouge, wonderful tenor notes. Grown under a very warm sun.
Cryp71c ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:23:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
got a good chuckle out of the sun thing
ANAL_ANARCHY ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:39:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vintner here!
I get the joke, but in case you don't know about it a warm sun and a cold sun actually have meaning to vintners. I'll try to keep this explanation ELI5 level. Basically growing a wine under a cold sun means that the grapes were grown close together, while a warm sun means that the grapes were far apart. As wine grapes grow they release a cocktail of chemicals and other compounds which affect the other grapes around them and can influence the final taste of a wine. A good winery will select for grape proximity when creating a wine. Warm/cold suns are actually largely a matter of personal taste, thus you it is not objectively right or wrong for a wine to be warm/cold. There are however growing sects who believe that the best wine is freezing cold, or that anything moderate, not overly warm or cold, is wrong. Hopefully you've learned a little more about wine because of me!
Shrubberer ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:54:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sure did. Thank you, /u/ANAL_ANARCHY.
ArtDSellers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:00:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do appreciate the explanation. But, given that this thread is devoted to mocking exactly the level of grape/wine obsession that you've described... what sorta reaction are you expecting?
ANAL_ANARCHY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're allowed to mock things and still take an interest in learning about them.
ArtDSellers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:24 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Precisely why I said I appreciated the comment.
big_cheddars ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm...
SweetNeo85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not like that other sun. You know, the cold one.
ANAL_ANARCHY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vintner here!
I get the joke, but in case you don't know about it a warm sun and a cold sun actually have meaning to vintners. I'll try to keep this explanation ELI5 level. Basically growing a wine under a cold sun means that the grapes were grown close together, while a warm sun means that the grapes were far apart. As wine grapes grow they release a cocktail of chemicals and other compounds which affect the other grapes around them and can influence the final taste of a wine. A good winery will select for grape proximity when creating a wine. Warm/cold suns are actually largely a matter of personal taste, thus you it is not objectively right or wrong for a wine to be warm/cold. There are however growing sects who believe that the best wine is freezing cold, or that anything moderate, not overly warm or cold, is wrong. Hopefully you've all learned a little more about wine because of me!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer a dry Arnim Zola myself.
KingOfKingOfKings ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:24:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't let any kryptonite near it, though.
KikoSoujirou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Likewise excellent ice wine is grown under a cold sun, to enhance the sugar content so that it doesn't evaporate off.
imherbertmoon ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 04:13:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take the lyrics to "Land of Confusion." In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. "In Too Deep" is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock.
Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.
DisconnectD ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:28:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
YES! I knew while reading this that it was a Patrick Bateman homage!
ImaginarySpider ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:54:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That there is a quote not an homage.
mctoasterson ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:18:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a shame, that's all.
thedieversion ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 04:08:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
DausenWillis ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:10:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*trained
FFTK, fat fingered the keyboard
HillelSlovak ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 09:15:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You shouldn't have admitted that, I thought tra/jed were two highly scientific terms only a real wine snob would know
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:02:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they were names for ranges of sound waves outside of normal human hearing range; maybe tra is 5-10hz and jed is 10-20hz. We can make this a thing, right?
Moogle2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:04:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, so when you can hear that high pitched sound and someone else can't, you just say "oh, well you probably just can't hear tra"
Imsdal2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:19:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a shorthand for "trained jedi". Well, from now on it is!
Woooooolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"jed", as in short for Jedi. As for "tra", well thats a whole different level of expertise I'm not ready for yet.
rangeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:35:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
trained and or jedi ..excuse me Jedi
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Pronounced trฤ-zh-ลd, Tra/Jed is a term applied classically trained food scientist who have a higher understanding of their senses when applied to the fifth palette.
HuoXue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please mash the keyboard to order a typing wand.
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck do you fat finger "in" to "/j"?
lordeddardstark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too technical to explain
user_82650 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trained/Jedi.
petrichorE6 ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 01:32:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Extra points if you say this while twirling your moustache.
DausenWillis ยท 158 points ยท Posted at 01:42:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Menopause has been kind to me, and I lack the crone's moustache. You, however, might consider hormone replacement therapy.
blue-penn ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 03:07:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
First person to say menopause has been kind to them
IKn0wKnothingAMA ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:25:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shouldn't it be menostop?
nermid ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:28:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just watch as lifespans get longer and 150-year-old women start a public health quandary by suddenly becoming fertile again.
Natook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's that gonna work? Futuristic egg snatching?
nermid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:35:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You ever seen the intro to the third Child's Play movie, where they take the old, dusty factory and just start the machinery running again without even cleaning it?
Klowned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shudders
jammachiq ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:21:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No menopause comes from latin which means to stop. Pause only meant to stop and resume eventually recently.
epicluke ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:07:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes it should
KBowBow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:10:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It'll come back. They always come back
Mustbhacks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking this the other day, why is it "pause", not like its going to resume anytime soon.
fhqhe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be so menodramatic
UnicornSparkleBrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having been married long enough for my wife to go into menopause, no. pause is still accurate. the bleeding stops, the bitchiness intensifies and the most volatile argument we have is about the temperature in the house, i'm fine with whatever, but every 20 minutes or so she blames me for fucking with the thermometer because now she's too hot or she's too cold and it's obviously my fault and i'm a useless good for nothing. But...I get a lot of sex and free food. kind of a fair trade I suppose.
blue-penn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at an clinic where one of the vets is going through menopause. Only ever affected us bc she would make the office goddamn freezing. I think she wasn't mean bc she could always go pet some animals if she was in a bad mood.
UnicornSparkleBrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes, menopause isn't in the pre-nup, but I think it should be. "When my wife goes through menopause and becomes Batshit McGee, I reserve the right to take over the thermostat and not die of hypothermia. Seriously.
dalerian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And that's including the husbands...
maully ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lucky. I have had a moustache since I was like 16. It's blonde and short but fairly thick
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:46:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're on birth control pills, you should tell your doctor about that. That's just not normal, sister.
maully ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:48 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just hairy. It's not like pcos or anything, and I exaggerate it's lushness
cunting_christfucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'.....too close to an asphalt road.' He said, stirring the wine with his goatee.
AibohPhobiA ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You've been made a moderator of /r/shittyaskscience
JiveMonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are now a moderator at r/RealTrueScienceFacts
the_teknician ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, man. It isn't about how it tastes. It's about how it sounds. I should know, as I've been a wine whisperer for ages.
Fellhuhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is about how far you can spit it. Source
Kokoa_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
saved to use against wine snob. thanks!
waffle299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wear hearing aids. I think I'll hit a couple buttons before I put it to my ear.
Hold on, let me fire up the aromatic microhydrocarbon mass spectrometer assembly.
FogeltheVogel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To prestigious. Just say you can hear it better if you hold it just right.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DausenWillis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MacAdam was a shyster with a wheel barrow full of asphalt. He's a mere footnote of history, a blow hard salesman.
MacAdam... really.. a Scotsman even... shouldn't be uttered in polite company, I tell you!
garrettj100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to mention that these grapes were picked by a left-handed man.
crazyike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should sell audio equipment.
jrizos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*crudier
BorisKafka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Definitely works on the NasCarbriolet crowd.
illegible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
would compliment the cruditรฉs
erinerinboberin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just got back from a wine tasting/dinner. I wish I had read this before!
IT-Ronin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call my parents Whinos and I will be using this next time they ask me to taste a wine.
PassTheFromage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what if the wine snobs are reading this:o
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/PPKdHP8zWuo?t=1m39s
cjpack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better than my go to "this sounds like alcohol"
Kiwispam84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does cruder mean higher or lower?
BeerIsMagical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely no idea why I read that in 3-CPO's voice...but it worked.
madam-cornitches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, it is pretty obvious, in my humblest of opinions. In fact, it's hardly worth noting.
Tyle55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TRA/JED!
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced trฤ-zh-ลd, Tra/Jed is a term applied classically trained food scientist who have a higher understanding of their senses when applied to the fifth palette.
Toby_Kief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mhm, there are notes of tar, and trucker speed"
Toby_Kief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mhm, there are notes of tar, and trucker speed"
AWaveInTheOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If by cruder you mean higher I'll take two cases
Nerfe01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to mention it's made with gluten free, no gmo 100% fair trade grapes.
savage8008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The emphasis on "if" really sells it
deadleg22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can actually feel the aura due to proton decay in a good wine as the rich elements release their flavour.
grumpy_youngMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH well I have perfect pitch so let me try...yes yes I can definitely sense..that thing that you said.
HEADPOCKET ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes..... now that you mention it I can hear that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you can't hear the correct resonance unless you have a special ear-glass designed for the grape variety and hand blown with leaded crystal by a family of former Nazi gun scope ocularists.
Rearranger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. This bullshit actually triggers me.
alex_wifiguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have it all wrong. It's the surface tension that changes with the alcohol content, causing larger or smaller bubbles which you can hear popping at different rates/pitches if you pour it rough and listen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Proud" to be an ashamed boozer across spectrums, why act like our baser tendency of inebriating ourselves requires some pompous bullshit form of realization. although topically wine is my least favorite form of booze due to the hangover but i must express i drink it all and there are clearly better versions of the booze we consume, all this wine tasting/ any "culturally" inept/proper way to consume is beyond me, i embrace the grey area,. Ex: not 2 buck chuck but not some 300 dollar bottle neither, like fuck we dont need to be experts, booze within ur means or spurge out of it but fuck being a pompous deuchebag over an activity based off of cuttin loose.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I AM NOT A WINE PERSON I DO NOT KNOW
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus.
That's a thing of beauty.
I'm completely convinced.
Freedumb00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bollocks
GoalDirectedBehavior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously.
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When it comes to Bullshit Artists you are Van Fucking Gogh.
JarasM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can enhance the effect by screaming into the glass and quickly putting your ear next to it, but don't use this trick more than 2-3 times per glass, it will slightly sour the wine."
MiamiPower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I concur basically. The inner ear (internal ear, auris interna) is the innermost part of the vertebrate ear. In vertebrates, the inner ear is mainly responsible for sound detection and balance. In mammals, it consists of the bony labyrinth, a hollow cavity in the temporal bone of the skull with a system of passages comprising two main functional parts.
The cochlea, dedicated to hearing; converting sound pressure patterns from the outer ear into electrochemical impulses which are passed on to the brain via the auditory nerve. The vestibular system, dedicated to balance The inner ear is found in all vertebrates, with substantial variations in form and function. The inner ear is innervated by the eighth cranial nerve in all vertebrates. Do you concur? Yes I concur. In my Catch Me If You Can Leonardo DiCaprio voice. Must be pressing hand to chin action ๐
ManyPoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but that's easily fixed in the distilling process by reversing the polarity of the Heisenberg compensators. It's like popping a balloon!
FogeltheVogel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The fact that grapes don't even contain alcohol makes it so much better.
Demilitarizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In 10 years the vineyards will have dozed their remaining pavement. Those trendy developments in suburbia built up around grapes will see their property values decline. The dusty roads will require some over-hyped, but under achieving "green" treatment to keep Makayla's Beemer from getting dusty as it sits in the drive. New roadway technologies will be sought after. The boutique distilleries and breweries will begin to be asked why they too haven't seen the light. And I'll be able to look back and say I saw it coming.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what the hell does 'cruder' mean in this context? too much?
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The alcohol has the mouth feel of a sauvignon conceived by someone who went to public school.
RachelOdette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will be using this as well. Bravo my good man. That is awesome. :)
Omena123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can actually hear the bubbles there lol, if there are few or if there are a lot.
TopCommentOfTheDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:09 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment was the top comment of the day on August 3rd 2016!
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AroundTheBlock__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
cynoclast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People can hear the difference between hot and cold liquids being poured.
DausenWillis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course they can, hydrodynamics are temperature dependent.
origin_of_an_asshole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Verily.
uncleben85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, verily, yea!
foogama ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is terrifyingly convincing.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell do u know that
DausenWillis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's merely the physics of food.
Mateo4183 ยท 4538 points ยท Posted at 01:08:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmyes, I'm detecting subtle Baroque notes with a slight Ragtime undertone....
dingofarmer2004 ยท 3025 points ยท Posted at 01:15:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I detect a little bit of Scat, man.
Principal_Scudworth ยท 2348 points ยท Posted at 01:30:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
(I'm the Scatman)
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda nope
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Edit: Thanks for the goldily-skib-skab-ska-dooby.
awwkwardapple ยท 1521 points ยท Posted at 03:03:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Now put that through Google translate and ask it to read it to you
Edit: thanks for my first reddit gold! You litterally made me jump around with excitement at work!!
narthollis ยท 344 points ยท Posted at 03:13:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that made my lunch break.
ipaqmaster ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 03:36:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rip lunch
[deleted] ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 04:08:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
otismuffins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:08:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugP8oV7Xs-A
AnotherClosetAtheist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
F
wolfenx3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U
WasteTheTime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
C
T0mmyb6 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:35:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
K
ThatJazzyPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Y
epion-viragos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
O
fabfill ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
U
lesta09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Lunch-box
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The true gold comment
bacon_and_ass ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 04:18:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
English to Japanese translation is awesome!
BungeeCunt ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:08:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
French sounds like the "Allo Allo" policeman speaking french.
Je suis le Scatman
punstermacpunstein ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:33:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WATASHI WA SCATMAN
Blanchild ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:21:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SCATMAN YO
estheliyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:02 on August 9, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The scatman? Who's the scatman? Me, you silly!
dizao ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:25:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, I can totally hear this as being part of an anime.
robutshark ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
O MY GOD CAN'T BREATHE HAHAHA
WowemuGM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
RIP robutshark
madnesscult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*breathe
madnesscult ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:30:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese and German are by far my favorites
Donegalsimon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:25:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
toy patch toy patch toy patch
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ich bin Scatman ja!
thatguysoto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was glorious.
SabreSeb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(watashi wa sukyattoman yo)
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:28:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY FUCKING HELL!!
ProphetandLoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crying with laughter at work - boss is looking over. Gotta go
Odddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Catalan sounds like a robot with cotton balls in its mouth
Orionolle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:47:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If that got you, have it read it back with the Czech text-to-speech for a real treat.
BaronTatersworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet Jesus.
anapollosun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yo da dub dub
core_dumpd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now try Czech... or latin!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like the voice is laughing while doing it...makes it even better. Reminds me of a teacher who would sometimes just randomly say the whole Rapper's Delight song in a complete monotone voice with a straight face.
I put this bit of it into translate, and it's funny, but not as funny.
I said a hip hop, The hippie, the hippie, To the hip, hip hop, and you don't stop, a rock it To the bang bang boogie, say, up jump the boogie, To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat. Now, what you hear is not a test - I'm rappin' to the beat, And me, the groove, and my friends are gonna try to move your feet.
soupdup ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you are not American.
sevilyra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the "bodda bope" parts were my favorite, heh
OP_rah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I tried it out with a lot of the language voices, I find korean to be the best, take a listen ahaha!
Italian is pretty good too
I think something went wrong with Armenian.
holokinesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time to listen to "When the Lunch Breaks".
MassiveBlackClock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think you'll be able to put it back together?
Jumala ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 04:07:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Here's a cleaned up version for google translate, so she's not saying, "B, A, D, A, B, A, be bop bop boddah bope" (Japanese is awesome/Afrikaans is Stephen Hawking):
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
(I'm the Scatman)
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Bah-dah-bah-dah-bah-be bop bop boddah bope
Bop bah boddah bope
Be bop bah boddah bope
Bop bah boddah
Bah-dah-bah-dah-bah-be bop bah boddah bope
Bop bah boddah bope
Be bop bah boddah bope
Bop bah boddah nope
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
Ski-bee dibby dib yo dah dub dub
Yo dah dub dub
SwellestTunic ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:19:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in Czech it's pretty awesome too especially when it gets to the boddah bop part
Quazifuji ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:13:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Polish is super fast, my favorite so far.
The_Rampant_Goat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:15:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try French, it's ridiculous. Not fast, it just sounds hilarious
TheGrey_Wolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:31:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop laughing..
CapnNoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:37 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ima de scatman
smikims ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:23:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Italian one sounds drunk off its ass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
LovesTheWeather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What really made me lose my shit is at one point the Italian translation sounds like she is saying "Bappa di boopy?" like in this Family Guy episode
shipwreckstue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:24:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese is glorious.
KalvinOne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:21:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Play this song along with the translation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ-dxwhbvok
It plays so well along
Stealthy_Bird ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:26:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese lmao
LupineChemist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:58:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese is amazing
Edit: Finnish is pretty good, too
Santsari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:14:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many thanks o' kaikkivaltias
coltsmetsfan614 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:07:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
French sounds like it has Down syndrome, and I know that shouldn't be funny, but it really is.
obi-sean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watashi wa sukattoman yo
MuadDave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:44:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well shoot! Scot's Gaelic doesn't have a 'say it for me' button. I always knew Scot's Gaelic was really unspeakable.
creynolds722 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really unfortunate Irish wouldn't let me hear it :(
BridgetteBane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Catalans sounds pretty neat.
gammingthesystem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I highly recommend the Japanese version as well
zebragrrl ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:32:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I really liked the Czech accented one.
NotAsSmartAsYou ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:46:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I tried that, it sounded Jamaican mon!
VerifiableFontophile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:07:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever heard a Jamaican talk with a Wisconsin accent?
muchhuman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bwahaha, English>Korean read aloud wins the internet.
oatscoop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese actually sounds like weird music.
Elvebrilith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
isnt that the point though?
Rovden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm rather fond of the Welsh one. It was unexpectedly electronica.
semi225599 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Dutch one was pretty good too.
jrragsda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
try the greek one.
lokitoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or Latin...
Apis up in the house
TheTooz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The japanese one is a pretty sick beat.
gooeyfunseeker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Serbian sounds like a malfunctioning robot.
nthny ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:28:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius. The "translated" versions are so good.
sudocoffee ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:01:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soy el Scatman!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's exactly what I just did! i lost it when the spanish robot said that.
BabyAteMyDingoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh god, the Vietnamese Version. That's my Winner.
Japanese and Italian are pretty good as well.
Edit* And of course German has the most ridiculous word for "Dub Dub"
lindslay ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:20:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was actually really entertaining!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no translate it to serbian first
Dickbeard_The_Pirate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I translated it into Yiddish and this happened.
feenicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol
(disappointed though that google translate is not actually giving me the option for Yiddish in audio) :-(
hydealexanderw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know what will be my next donation message for Twitch.
alk47 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm trying so hard not to laugh in my uni library. I am actually crying.
just_some_Fred ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So far Vietnamese is the best, it's really got a rhythm to it.
Totally_TJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was drinking the milk after a nice bowl of Cocoa Puffs when I did this. Needless to say the milk got all over my shirt. That was my favorite plain white shirt.
Legionofdoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recommend French.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translated to French. Am dead. Send help.
hAMBERglarr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was odd yet hilarious! Thanks for the suggestion!
nacho_balls ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the greatest thing ever
Unitedmoviemaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a whole adventure in itself (esp. with different languages)!
theRose90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, I listened to it wasn't very good, but then I tried translating it to japanese and listening to the readout and it fucked me up.
phoenix7700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I had access to the Google translate code I'd make that shit play scatman.
epicluke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Google, not again!
UltraSpecial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Japanese one is amazing!
GrayWing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the greatest thing I've ever heard
Gruffyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Welsh is where its at
Fallonymous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, I preferred the Swedish version over the English one :)
AlifeofSimileS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking can't make it talk to me. How the dick do I do it. Googling how to make it talk to me is like that "how to draw an owl" shit...
E: never mind. Still had my phone connected to the ihome inside my house. I'm on the patio...
AmbitiousTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for that moment I just shared with my friends... yeah... friends
Millasdiosturd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bird People
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone vocaroo or clyp it?
ThatDeznaGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Polish translation is full on Scatman, go check it out if you haven't!
Wyndheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then translate to spanish
Averant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That latin translation, though...
feenicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
omg wow
TheMadmanAndre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just did this.
It is the greatest fucking thing I have heard this year.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
awwkwardapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than playing Counter Strike in an airport!
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did it and yes it amusing.
D1551D3N7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Italian is the most rhythmic
Neonguy123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try translating into French then listening to it
Patsfan618 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translate it to italian then play it.
Wr0ngThread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Leslie Nielsen was a goofy genius. Angie Tribeca could learn a thing or two.
edit DAE write in the wrong thread?
rattingtons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hours of fun. My neighbours must be wondering WTF is going on in my kitchen.
Charlesyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its even better in japanese
Jkpair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That felt like forever.
kizreid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Japanese translation is best
Jamdust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.gyazo.com/41c22b9493f15bedcb7358553376682a.png
Hysterical, thank you!
Strazdas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then tell Malinda Kathleen Reese to sing the google translate version.
Bapstack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vietnamese is the best. I am cracking up
bpawlowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translated to Italian, and then had Translate read it back to me. It was glorious.
MonkeysOnMyBottom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds good in Swedish
nonotevenonce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try different languages as well. It's lovely!
NotAsSmartAsYou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, boring job then?
/kidding
strictlydiversified ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now, change the language translated from to Italian
CriDFU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try it with Will from Afar.
Notbob1234 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 02:17:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/y6oXW_YiV6g
TouchDownBurrito ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Baseketball.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=0BypIVMXMT4
WhiteMike87 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:14:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of Matt and Trey's crowning achievements.
LordOfDaZombiez ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:25:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They've put out so much quality content that I ain't even mad.
Dr_Robbery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying baseketball isn't quality?
woogie_2901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They were just in that, not writers or anything.
Orgasmo is my favourite early Parker-Stone production. Great movie.
stronglikedan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of The Scatman.
https://youtu.be/y6oXW_YiV6g
landragoran ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This song, weird as it sounds, was what I listened to while playing bg's in WoW back in 2006 when I wanted to hype myself up.
ajhyatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im just going to leave this here.. https://youtu.be/3B3I4YirD9U
AlmightyThorian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I learned to "sing" the chorus to snow's informer, I should have learned a verse of this song instead.
zer0t3ch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, you can see Dulรฉ Hill dancing at 1:20.....
A40 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:30:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ella'va vintage!
adrianmonk ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:36:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got riesling
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Estoy hombre de scat!
r0b0c0d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Si El Hombre de Scat puede hacerlo, usted tambiรฉn puede hacerlo.
DaClems ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:29:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, not that kind of scat...
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:34:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I was expecting a sneaky link to the scat man story.
DausenWillis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:45:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or at least the Bristol Scat Scale.
Pranks_ ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:23:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit you knew i'd look that up.
DausenWillis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:28:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want to come over and play Scatagories, Bristol edition?
dalerian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And we all wish we hadn't.
I_am_the_night ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice scatting....Weeeesley
PirateKilt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best enjoyed at funerals and wakes...
Dent18 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:03:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know Anthony Kiedis has a reddit account
mecichandler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doo doo doo doo dang doo ding doo dang dong - da kraba draba saba daba ding dang dong
PM_UR_CROSS-STITCHES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just gotta say that I'm really impressed that you managed to type that all out in text.
GeForce88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, now you gotta let that breathe so the oxygen can enrich the scat notes.
IanMc90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read all of this? o.o
hungry_lobster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beep beep boop bop?
JustVern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you. I read your post 3 times just to make sure I didn't miss something.
I didn't...right?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, time to open Youtube.
-kindakrazy- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah. You can actually hear the bubbles.
Mykmyk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go man go!
creepers_creepin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Read the wikipedia page for the Scatman, surprisingly pleasant. Dude had a stutter and made a decent career for himself. No big controversies, kept working hard up until his final days.
BossDulciJo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should spend less time scatting, and more time worrying about the clones flipping the pool?
LavenderSmuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in Scatman John's voice.
BlackJackBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this really should be a bot response for any time the word scat comes up.
kasmiur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did that in Japanese and it was awesome!
w675 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, the Vietnamese translation of this...
Atlantean120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was a lot of scat.
LarcieJar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried it in greek???
Freevoulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it weird that I carefully read it all, subvocalizing, to check if there are any mistakes in the number of dibbies and da dubdubs?
khyodo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
.... This is amazing in Japanese..
kevie3drinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh, that's a 2006 Robert Strong Chardonnay from the Sonoma Valley.
Sav_ij ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was yub dudub jub
alsoandanswer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okeliy dokely neighbourino
prosorth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:04:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to think you typed all of that... but you didn't. Of course you didn't how could you? I am 100% sure you did not type that. DID YOU FUCKING TYPE ALL OF THAT?!?!?!
grenideer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He meant animal poop.
humoraddict ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:43:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Quick! Somebody call 911! He's having a stroke!!
barktreep ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:41:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just learned that "dub" means "remix" in latin.
37-pieces-of-flair ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:59:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Translation: Poop.
izzie833 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:34:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gold jerry gold
DausenWillis ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:18:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think there's a hint of 1950s commercial jingle, a touch repetitive and saccharine.
straydog1980 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:29:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has a note of Kanye and I'm not sure why you're still waiting because this is one of the best wines of all time. Of all time!
Hey-MyThrowAway ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:30:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...And not only it has long legs, but also a voluminous pumpkin tail end that guarantees you'll be the center of attention. I shall call it Courte De Chien
PhoKwad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this not more upvoted?!
Cooter1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is now
bearXential ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I upvoted because I know this should be funny. But I'm gonna need an explanation
PhoKwad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unless I thought it was funny in spite of not comprehending a haughty deeper meaning I don't know there was something to get. Just the word choice and phrasing made me laugh. And the Courte de Chien may have also just been random French sounding but I think it means small or short dog which would have given this imaginary wine a contradictory name sake to any of its flavor notes.
Hey-MyThrowAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Voluminous pumpkin tail end (big ass)... Center of attention...
...and Courte De Chien - does it not sound like.. Kardashian?
Hey-MyThrowAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Courte De Chien - does it not sound like.. Kardashian?
spininblade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, my wine just sounds like water.
petrichorE6 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:27:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been a Bordeuce
razorgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote is for proper italicization and relevant user name
mydickcuresAIDS ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:27:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only wine I ever detected scat in was Franzia...
SPOOFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Feculent". Say it tastes "feculent" and you're in a whole new level of classy. A bonus level.
MySisterIsHere ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:04:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Turn that poop into wine!
sparklebrothers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this was going to link to that Asian Poop Wine documentary from Vice.
(Summary: Doctor takes recently donated child excrement and allows it to ferment w/ rice. Adventurous millenial is persuaded to consume concoction...fin
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone does: http://www.vice.com/video/how-to-make-faeces-wine
SgtFeather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dicks out for Hoyabembe.
IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the wine is made in Rio.
johnnyenglish1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Must have been a Bordeuce.
Disco_Drew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they should hire a new dishwasher.
cycloptiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chablis bahp bahp baddat boap. Bahp bahp baddat boap.
hostile65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer a nice Cab Calloway tone.
eatmocake84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that's cat piss.
Edit: wrong sense
CheeseWizzed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey, who pooped in your wine, bro?
Cornwall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Says something that gets gold.
joewaffle1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ew that means poop
Moo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And an oaky afterbirth, I'm sure.
clowns_will_eat_me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/sanfordandson/images/2/2a/Scatman-crothers-3.jpg
todayismyluckyday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think subtle hints of scat is something you want to detect in your bouquet.
leroyyrogers ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:04:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With a distinct aftertaste of Darude Sandstorm
TheRhymingRedditor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:07:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's disgusting! At least wash off the glass first.
jigga19 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:09:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no...we say "dungy"
sed_base ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 02:58:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Umm! It's got a nice oaky afterbirth
neechee1231 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:02:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what was that?
i_invented_Al_Gore_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:57:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I came here for
2_bit_encryption ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
over the gums, through the lips...
[deleted] ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 02:30:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And oh... is that a hint of Nickelback? Disgusting! Waiter! WAITER!
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:58:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ragtime, you say?
AwesomeJohn01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here I was hoping for root beer rag, or maple leaf rag...
BlackDavidDuchovny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:19:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well this looks like a job for me. How about the Black & White Rag?
icanhazazngrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds terrible, but it's still hilarious.
shin_zantesu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm partial to the Pineapple myself...
ndstumme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nyan Cat Rag?
(I actually really like this. Skip to 3:00 for the heavy improv)
redditrules54 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:29:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my baby hello my honey hello my ragtime gal
almighty_ruler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a bottle w/a real subtle bossa nova undertone last night.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a can of Steel Reserve in front of me and it sounds like G Funk and gunshots.
Nattylight_Murica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jelly roll Morton is what I'm picking up
Edit: yep, definitely notes of tiger rag.
Itroll4love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This Gregorian Chantdenai Is exquisite for its time Era.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could you hear the eco?
dirtei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mmmm yes, points
jefu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like a hefty dose of 4'33"
Grizzles_the_Hott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly Scott Joplin with subtle undertones of Janis
shawexp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take the bass line for a walk and keep the cymbals splashy
Nisas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has a very earthy timbre.
Earthbugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, that's a 1966. Listen " mmm, I heard it through the grapevine.... " can you taste the song?
James_099 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm, this wine has a good oaky afterbirth.
greg_barton ยท 823 points ยท Posted at 02:54:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Listen! Do you smell something?"
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 441 points ยท Posted at 02:57:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes...I can feel it.
godzillab10 ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 03:09:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see.
[deleted] ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 03:22:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
touch my balls
amanbelow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not you! Him.
banjohusky95 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:02:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wowee Pinocchio! You're a real boy
Soviettoast ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:57:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/ThreadKillers
Nillmo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The time is nigh
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:15:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can tell the age of a good wine by how well your balls float in it.
ThePizzaReaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fosho gurl
SwitchingUpMyStyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a problem, man.
anangryterrorist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...said the blind man?
Tyrann0saurus_Rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So fruity
TatteredMonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lick, lick, lick ma balls!
HaxWeinberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was in poor taste.
Chippingawayatlife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see dead people
Hickorywhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Said the blind man to his deaf wife.
captaineighttrack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you feel it now Mr.Krabs?
kiwi_or_kangaroo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:13:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There has been an awakening
LunaticOrder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The pull to the white...
Sierra419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ooo ah ah ha ha! Come'on, get down with the sickness!
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:31:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jaifriedpork ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:57:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. No human being would stack books like this.
trixylizrd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:44:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you saying what I think you're saying? Because I don't think you're saying anything.
The_Dylster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Four year strong!
Mezujo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough, did you know that's actually a saying we use in China wen asking somebody to smell tea leaves? To use the word smell or sniff is considered rude in this context and is like treating the person like a dog, so we use the word listen instead of sniff, and ask them to smell it.
greg_barton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fascinating! Had no idea.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Draconius42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
Mezujo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf dude.
Listen to yourself once in a while ok? That was uncalled for.
thebuggalo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh... no body make a smell.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I do! What is happening? Do you see that too???
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smells like...
Synesth...
Syne... 31.
LedLevee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.... YES!
blbil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the non sequiturs from the show Snuff Box. "Sorry I'm late, are we early?"
LaGrrrande ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/shared?ci=HsYxkblGxDE
UnNumbFool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
synesthesia?
Rumours_are_true ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Back off man, I'm a scientist"
LoBsTeRfOrK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY EAR BALL SMELL BUDS HURT!
MasterGrok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LSD, not even once. Just kidding, lots of times.
Doctor__Gonzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It smells like barbecued dog hair.
SuperFreakonomics ยท 1547 points ยท Posted at 01:15:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm. Hasย sort of an oaky afterbirth.
darwin_thornberry ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 01:27:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jim face
Igotdiabetus ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:16:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jim face
[deleted] ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 02:50:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jim face
Northern-Mike ยท 232 points ยท Posted at 03:01:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jim face
[deleted] ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 03:05:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love me some Papa Jim's
LNHDT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Papa Jim's dot com, world wide pizza internet pizza
nastasia8989 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite
panda_gravy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:20:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GOD DAMMIT
corpocracy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:09:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it.
Bray_Jay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:55:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was purple too and I still clicked on it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FUCK
fool_on_a_hill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is the origin of this meme?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:11:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's everywhere.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
too predictable I think but well done
SocraticMethHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Little comment.
Throwawaymyheart01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God damn it Dwight is amazing
sagabal ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jim face
[deleted] ยท 761 points ยท Posted at 02:35:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Video. It's only 18 seconds. You might as well click it, it's not like you're going to do anything of value in the next 18 seconds anyway.
Aurora_Fatalis ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 03:14:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe if it'd been a subtitled gif.
splicerslicer ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 03:49:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least I wouldn't have had to pause my music.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same
13EchoTango ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:53:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, who expects us to click a link that isn't imgur? Other than the odd wiki or xkcd of course.
BAXterBEDford ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You all just need to man-up and get the reddit Enhancement.
13EchoTango ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do on my desktop, but I have better ways to waste time on my desktop. No res for my phone while on the pooper :(
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've just never gotten into doing reddit on my phone. I tried. Just didn't care for it.
notostracan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try it on the pooper.
13EchoTango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trick is to not use the mobile site.
dalerian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On mobile app, all links are Reddit Roulette.
InfanticideAquifer ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:56:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just imagus over the link in the xkcd-transcriber-bot's reply. No clicking for me :D !
James-VZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
6 panels in a 100x300 pixel frame.
druggyswithhoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised no one's delivered yet.
Reignofmongo ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 02:40:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong... Still, not worth the 18 seconds. BUT, you got me to click, so an upvote for you sir.
eagles85 ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 03:07:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Office is always worth the time
SpeakItLoud ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 03:39:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I wasn't going to click until I read The Office. It was worth the 18 seconds. The Office always is worth at least 18 seconds.
GloriousComments ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:37:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mike-Oxenfire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He ruined all other men for me
epicluke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Phantomglock23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My god yes. Especially that episode. One of the greats
Forever_Awkward ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:40:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
eh
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say it was worth it. I didn't know the reference at first, and I'm sure others didn't as well.
kiz_kiz_kiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It absolutely was worth it.
PlumTsarista ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:42:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your not my supervisor
BountyHNZ ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:04:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about their not my supervisor?
piperiain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
there not, youre supervisor...
BountyHNZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where aren't I supervisor?
13EchoTango ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got lost after the his not my supervisor.
moesif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, who is my supervisor?
Trevsquatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm laughing like an idiot.
PM_Me_Humble_Bundles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you not fucking read? That was 17 seconds. 17! What will I do with the next 1 second?!? You fucking piece of human trash.
timmywheela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
better yet, only 17 seconds
Stencils294 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I watched it on mute. Suck it.
bridekiller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You took me by the hand, made me a man
TGrady902 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I had a tv commercial to watch. I could have done without that.
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really though, that whole episode it gold.
"Do you have any idea the toll that 3 vasectomies takes on a guy?! SNIP-SNAP-SNIP-SNAP-SNIP-SNAP!!!"
_Quinn_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That. Was very convincing
DNamor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have to pause my music, probably have to skip an ad, worst case I'll have to sit through an ad.
It's just not worth it...
oonniioonn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm incredibly annoyed at all those people holding their glasses by the bowl.
5213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that video can be shortened to :10-:13
not-a-f-given ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:27:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love the reference, yet I hate the click bait
TerraOrdinem ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:35:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I liked his comment. There's no way in hell I'm clicking a YouTube link unless it's shorter than a minute.
_The_Real_Guy_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm supposed to be writing a treatment right now, so I blame you if I don't finish it before class tomorrow.
ademnus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow that sentence actually made me click this. Sir, you know not what power you wield.
combuchan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Office Space. Recognized it quick.
I want my two seconds back. I don't understand how anyone could consider that horribly unfunny show the least bit funny or otherwise not profoundly irritating.
blaghart ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of the Office. Which is crap because it's cringe humor.
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:22:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thup thup thup thup thup thup. That's a ten!
DeltaPositionReady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JbepN4dKLbU
Chamiam ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:17:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What was that?
DausenWillis ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:36:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With a soupรงon of old mulch...
SystemFolder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taste happens in five distinct phases.
Birth of the Taste: occurs when the liquid hits your tongue, but you don't taste anything yet.
Afterbirth of the Taste: occurs as the flavor gains in intensity.
The Taste: happens when the flavor has achieved maximum intensity.
Post-Taste: the flavor dies down after The Taste.
After-Taste: the last gasp of the flavor just before it dies; it usually tastes completely different.
bugbits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I pretty much say this anytime I have a glass of wine.
chrispey_kreme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a fair amount about fine food and drink. Um....Smells wine this is a white. Video
kingcrimson44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You beat me to it. Hilarious scene!
Barrister_Ryan ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:41:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm. Hasย sort of an oaky afterbirth.
[deleted] ยท 828 points ยท Posted at 01:57:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, if I wanted to hear wine I'd just tell my wife we're going to Arby's again for dinner or knock over my three year old's ice cream cone.
[deleted] ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 03:13:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Ted_Brogan ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 03:48:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get in the car
5dayoldsushi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:26:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure you want double blowjobs...from a chick that offers double blowjobs for arby's?
Ted_Brogan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:22:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chick? Nevermind, deals off
milwaukeesbeastice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:43:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, two bjs is two bjs, and I can get me some arbys while I'm there? Beats five day old sushi...
Ted_Brogan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not two bjs, a double bj. If you don't know the difference you can't handle it
milwaukeesbeastice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Paging u/doubledickdude - the only one who can truly handle it.
Ted_Brogan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Milwaukee represent
milwaukeesbeastice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:53:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from nc but y'all make some damn fine cheap beer.
uptwolait ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:09:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"No, silly...in the trunk."
sr20inans2000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She probably looks like a girl that gives blow jobs for Arby's.
Ted_Brogan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fingers crossed
WarVDine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I call dibs on Arby's next week
uberdosage ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:31:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Forreal, arby's is freaking delicious
nixonrichard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eh bebbe, got u a Beef-n-chedda . . . mid size.
_Bay_Harbor_Butcher_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when a beef n cheddar was a beef n cheddar and a reg roast beef was a fucking reg roast beef. We didn't have different sizes to choose from. It just was.
lordeddardstark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How's life, two dick dude?
TimeTravelMishap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where were people like you when I worked at Arby's?
epicluke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Epic
kairos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:54:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does paying you get us?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
811bd158c6b23
bigpoppawood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like back to back or two girls at the same time?
Reggie_Popadopoulous ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's leave the 3 year old out of this.
RenegadeDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you wild, wyd tho?
Zombie_Party_Boy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I first started seeing my SO, we made a bet about some bit of trivia, and the loser had to buy the other Arby's. The internet said I lost, but we no longer have an Arby's around us where I could just pick up a beef-n-cheddar and bring it to her still hot. We were driving way out somewhere together about a month later, and by golly I bought her that sandwich. One does not simply fail to honor an Arby's bet. :)
Schizotypal88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ey bby wats ur kik
archontruth ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 02:49:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In some jurisdictions that's considered spousal abuse.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:41:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's neglect, the worst form of abuse.
archontruth ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:57:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's worse than neglect. I mean, we're talking about an adult woman here. Left to her own devices, I suspect she can feed herself. But u/kayjay25 is talking about putting his wife in a situation where she might feel pressured to actually eat food from Arby's, and that's horrifying.
pajamajoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People don't like Arbys?
archontruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jon Stewart said it best
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:01:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
198651f539cf
OnePrettyFlyWhiteGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its scary how anything can be written to make some sort of sense, like this, and that some people really do think similar to this.
archontruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:38:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right; it's terrifying that there are people out there who consider the products distributed by Arby's to fall under the classification of 'food'. 'Bioweapon' would be more appropriate, but I guess there are more regulatory hurdles going into that business than fast food.
karma_virus ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arby's horsey sauce & melted cheese combo is the most effective laxative on the planet.
invent_or_die ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:25:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Backed with a delicious large black coffee.
spunkychickpea ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 04:09:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, dude. We're talking wine terminology here. You say "paired with".
Poplik ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:31:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it's going to be paired pretty well in the toilet.
Coffeepillow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a Sunday "morning" when you wake up at noon, hungover.
freakedmind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's African American coffee
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Might as well eat and drink that on the shitter.
vicarofyanks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just reading that makes me have to poop
HereHoldMyBeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taco Bell would like to register a formal complaint.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Taco Bell Meximelts.
freeze123901 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Now I know?
caitlinreid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anyone eat that sauce?
wookie_pookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's amazing.
PizzaCrustDildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Arby's and don't eat the horsey shit.
FoulBachelorFrogIRL ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found David Puddy
IWantALargeFarva ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had the roast beef.
FoulBachelorFrogIRL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
alright, high five
BraveryDave ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:28:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's delish.
will-- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like an Arby's night.
DigiDug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This comment is underrated.
BarTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this would be higher in the thread.
DankeyKang11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jon? Jon Stewart?
kingmayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like an Arby's night
karpathian ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:23:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or meet a Jew who doesn't live in Florida or ask about the history of his peoples.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 300 points ยท Posted at 01:58:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is a wine maker and has on occasion had too much wine left over after bottling what they wanted. The leftover wine is bottled but not labeled and sold as "shiners" to smaller wineries who can slap their label on it and sell it as their own.
She has had many customers come in for tastings that claim to like [insert winery here] Cabernet more than hers when little do they know it's exactly the same wine bottled on the same day.
Dontwearthatsock ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 02:18:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just goes to show how important presentation is.
Tastygroove ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 02:47:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And storage... And age... And the barometric pressure.
lysergic_gandalf_666 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what is in your butt.
TimeTravelMishap ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:02:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair this is important in all situations.
uptwolait ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just another bunch of butthurt winers.
HRP ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:10:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what they ate. And if they'd had anything else to drink before that. And what temperature it was outside. And what temperature it was served at. etc. etc. etc.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And jesus of course
btribble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what kind of glass it was served in and how long the bottle has been open.
barbrady123 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:59:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And price...
Luzianah ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:58:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mostly price
Gustomaximus ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:53:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How many customers would say this even if they feel that way... seems strange...
wineduptoy ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 03:43:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a winery. The following is not meant to sound condescending. Wine can make people feel uncomfortable, so they like to say things that they think make them sound knowledgeable. People come in all the time and say "Oh, I'm not trying the Merlot", or "I went to so-and-so winery yesterday, it's my favorite, they make the best Cabernet in the country..." They can often come across as snobbish or rude, when they're only trying to not seem or feel out of place.
Kozeyekan_ ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 06:29:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True, it does seem that wine is the one product where what you personally like can be wrong.
wineduptoy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:23:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's a shame. Everyone's opinions are valid. If you say you don't like the way asparagus tastes no one says NO THAT'S A GRAND CRU ASPARAGUS, IT'S DELICIOUS. Obviously people perceive different tastes differently. The industry is coming around.
One_with_the_Wind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like wine in general, and I still get told I'm wrong!!
gottabequick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also coffee, beer, tea, tobacco, whisky, and whiskey
Mhoram_antiray ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:24:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea i personally know the trouble. Took me a while but now i know exactly how to handle it :)
Describe every wine as "Urgh. Well i am not so sure about this."
I hate wine.
wineduptoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aw. I'm sorry. I hope you have something you do like? If you're ever in the San Francisco Bay area message me and you can come up to the vineyard and we can chat about wine, pressure free. If you're not a serial killer, that is.
flub_n_rub ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:40:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which many people do in literally every aspect of life. So I appreciate this perspective, because the "wine snob" cliche is common.
shaggyanlngs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:17:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Overwritten.
wineduptoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I think the industry is turning around. I think wine education is a lot more accessible, consumers are working to learn more, and a lot of suppliers are working to create an accessible, approachable product. I definitely agree that the wine industry used to me much more "I know about this and you don't", but I'd like to believe it's coming around. I do think I know the study you're referring to. Unfortunately, most of them aren't actually under "rigorous scientific conditions". Many people that judge wines for local competitions are not trained in any way, they just sign up. I know it makes a flashier headline to say WINE INDUSTRY EXPERTS BAMBOOZLED but it's usually not the case. Which does indicate that most competitions are bunk. Which is probably true. But there are people that only buy award-winning wines, and until that changes, the fairly arbitrary awards will continue.
gelfin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:13:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are people STILL doing that Sideways thing?
wineduptoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You would not believe how many people took that as the ultimate end-all be-all guide to wine. People constantly refuse to try the Merlot, and reference how Pinot Noir is obviously the best grape.
Vefantur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get that. I like trying different things and have tried as many alcohols and wines as I can get my hands on. I will happily admit that I know next to nothing about wine and drink whatever is handed to me. If I don't like it... eh I'll move on. If I do, I'll ask what is similar to what I just drank.
wineduptoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The best way to learn more is to drink more, so that's a great attitude. Usually when people refuse a taste, I remind them they're welcome to pour or spit it out, but "Merlot" for example is just the name of the grape. There are so many other influences of the wine than the grape, that it's worth trying. And a lot of people are surprised.
the_trashheap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Erm, I may have the opposite problem. I was tasting some wines and they were all really harsh, at least to my palate. I said "these all seem very vinegary and flat, and astringent" and the guy looked at me like I was the biggest asshole ever. Seriously, those wines tasted like ass. Should I couch my critique in more gentle terms? I wanted to be clear that I wasn't going to buy any of that swill.
wineduptoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've definitely had the problem before where I was at a tasting and really was not enjoying anything. That's always uncomfortable. I would definitely do a mental check to make sure you haven't been chewing mint gum, or just had coffee or something weird, but it's entirely possible those wines were either, a) just not for you, or b) really bad. It's never pleasant when someone comes in and says they don't like your wine, but I encourage people to be honest. Everyone's tastes are different, and honestly, when people say they don't like our wine, I talk to them about why, what they do like, and I recommend other wines/wineries they might be more interested in. That said, a little politeness goes a long way. A vinegar taste is a flaw in the wine, so when that happens to me I ask them to try it and see if they taste it, in case the bottle is bad. If the next one tastes the same, it's possible the batch was bad. Astringency could mean it needs to age more, so you could ask about recommended aging time. But in the instance where I hated everything, I thanked the pourer for their time, and excused myself. You don't owe them an explanation.
the_trashheap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh. You just learned me some wine facts and I thank you. This particular incident wasn't at a winery, rather it was fancied up liquor store that bottled wine that was shipped in from elsewhere. Fredericksburg, TX in fact. It was just all so damn raw.
kalpol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I certainly don't have that problem. I have no idea what I am doing with wine, I just say so. Then I get a flight and say oh yeah that one's good, lots of pepper in it, or whatever, and soon I have a lot of wine I like.
wineduptoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:12:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever YOU taste is accurate. Whatever YOU like, is what you should buy. It doesn't matter if something is 100 points and has twelve gold ribbons, if you think it tastes like poo, it's not worth anything. I love when people come in and say they're new to wine, or they'd like me to talk them through why things taste like they do.
InHoc12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:54 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've recently in the past year gotten super into wine and learning a lot from the /r/wine guide and trial and error.
A few questions:
Where else should I be looking for further resources on wine education?
I recently moved to Northern California (previously grew up in SLO and went to college in San Diego). I'm really into Syrah's that are peppery and spicy with medium to light body, and Chardonnay's that are oaky and buttery with a heavy body. I'm not a big fan of acidic or dry wines.
How do I know what will fit the taste profiles I like when I'm in the store? I'm learning what I like and don't like, but am clueless when I show up at Vons.
How do you keep from getting duped when you buy an expensive wine? I've gotten lucky and had amazing stuff (Rombauer Chardonnay) and than sometimes I'll buy something I can't even finish.
wineduptoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:09 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Regarding wine education: If you are interested in learning about all of the wines of the world and how to serve them: https://www.mastersommeliers.org/ If you have an academic interest in the wines of the world and why they taste they way they do: https://www.wsetglobal.com/ If you're just looking to learn more for personal gratification, my recommendation is always to simply drink more wine! Try a couple different Syrahs from around the world at the same time to try and narrow down what you like. If you pick out some bottles, get some other people interested (2 people/bottle works well), split the cost and make it a party! This is my favorite way to learn. Even if you don't want the formal education of the first two, you might find their tasting sheets helpful for the last one. I use the WSET form: https://www.wsetglobal.com/media/3119/wset_l3_wines_sat_en_jun-2016.pdf
Saying "This wine tastes like apricots and honeydew" is a more valuable thing to remember than "I like this wine" in terms of finding similar things. Obviously, whether or not you like it is most important. If you can't get a group together, check out your local wine bars, they might offer flights for compare and contrast purposes, and a lot of local wine shops (or even places like Total Wine) do regular tastings in the evenings for you to sample/learn before you buy.
It sounds like your best bets are Syrahs/blends from the Rhone region in France (These usually won't say Syrah on the bottle, just the place they're from), if you don't mind some baked fruit flavors with your pepper then Shiraz (same grape, different name) from Australia, and there are lots of Syrah options in California, Paso Robles and Sonoma come to mind.
Regarding big, buttery Chardonnay. The toasty and vanilla flavors come from oak (in the form of barrels, staves inserted into tanks, chips, sawdust or oil- the highest quality are typically done in small oak barrels). The buttery flavors come from a process called malolactic fermentation. This converts the malic acid (same acid as in green apples, think of that puckery feeling in your jaw) into lactic acid like in some dairy products. This gives the wine a softer texture, and makes it smell like butter. I highly recommend speaking to the people at your local wine shop and telling them what you like "Chardonnay with new oak influence and 100% malolactic fermentation". Also, Rombauer is the epitome of the style, so if you reference them, people usually know what direction to steer you in. I would stay away from anything labelled "stainless" (as in the steel it's aged in, no oak), because it doesn't sound like your style. I hope that helps you find some wines you love, but palates change, don't be afraid to try new things or try things again. I have been surprised by many a wine that I pre-judged.
As to "getting duped", it's often hard to know what's in the bottle before you buy it. Check the label for key words, do some tastings and get to know regions or producers you like, and please don't be afraid to ask when you're in the store. The employees (especially in smaller stores) usually know their stuff, and want you to find something you like. If you're shopping for a higher ticket item, I usually research online. Many producers will provide "tech sheets" with details on the winemaking, tasting notes, and potential pairings.
Ah, chilling red wine. Theoretically, light bodied red wine should be served around 55 degrees F, and medium to full around 60-65. Many restaurants don't want to pay for multiple temp fridges so they A) leave it out at the bar which is too hot, B) put it in a white wine temp fridge which is too cold, or C) put it in a food fridge which is way too cold.
If you don't have a multi-temp wine fridge at home (who does?), you can put white wines in the fridge and take them out fifteen minutes before you open, and put red wines in the fridge for 15 minutes before you open. If wine is too cold, it doesn't express itself as it's meant to. Low temperatures dampen the flavor. Like orange soda. You know how the first sip of orange soda right out of the fridge is incredible? But if it hits room temp it's absolutely atrocious? It's because you can actually taste it when it warms up :/
That being said, it's your journey. If you like your red wine a little chilled, go for it. Some express better a few degrees cooler, especially high alcohol examples (14%+). Ideally, wine should be stored in a cool, dark place as UV and temperature variation can be damaging. So as long as you don't keep it in the trunk of your car for a few days or take it in and out of the fridge excessively or put it in the freezer you should be fine.
Sorry for the novel
InHoc12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:33 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. Thanks for all the advice it's greatly appreciated.
I came from a long craft beer phase but I love to cook and pairing wine with meals is just far superior than beer most the time.
Thanks for the tips on the Syrah and Chardonnay as well. I grew up in SLO so I'm pretty familiar to Paso Syrah's. Someone recently suggested I check out some Columbia valley Syrah's too.
I use to not like Chardonnay at all (I think because I was mostly having stainless or just super cheap wine), but have changed. Likewise I used to love Sauvignon Blanc and have since drifted away from that a bit.
Typically I buy from Vons because it's convenient and they have a pretty big selection. They have tasting notes with stuff like you said, "apricot, honeydew," which is what I've been going off of for my purchasing but have been struggling because it's pretty limited and doesn't give the rest of the taste profile like acidity, body, tannin's, etc. and I don't necessarily always agree with their tasting notes (which is fine and probably to be expected).
I'll definitely take your advice and try to find a wine shop that will be able to help me a bit more.
Any specific suggestions you have for me to try or items you really liked? I'm in the bay and regularly go to SLO/Paso so I have some variety in what I can get. Ideally in the $15-$25 range (well less if there's some really cheap stuff you like).
Also, one last question... What about years and knowing when a wine is to old or to new? Or regions and knowing what regions are good for what wines?
I've done a little bit of research, but it seems like it just depends and each region produces it's good and bad wines.
wineduptoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:33 on September 26, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never been to Vons, so I'm no help there. If you're in the Bay area, are you near a K&L? I go there regularly for all my weird wines needs, and often hit their tastings to try new stuff.
If you're into pairing I HIGHLY recommend the book What to Drink with What You Eat. https://www.amazon.com/What-Drink-You-Eat-Definitive/dp/0821257188/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474904031&sr=8-1&keywords=what+to+drink+with+what+you+eat It's half basic explanations of why things work together and half reference book. Good overview but great to have on hand to just flip to "Carrots" and find a wine. Fun book.
I think you would like Lloyd Chardonnay, Robert Lloyd was the winemaker for Rombauer. It's usually $40, so pricier. There re tons of big, buttery options, but unfortunately, working for a winery I've fallen out of touch with specific names, since I usually just work with our wines. It's been while since I've had it but Morse Code Shiraz is a fruity, peppery option and a good price. Not really savory if that's what you like though.
Most white wine is meant to be consumed within two years of bottling. To age, a wine needs acid, tannin, fruit flavor, and alcohol/sugar. Most white wines are lacking in the tannic structure to keep them going. However, since you like the oaky stuff, oak adds tannin and there are many oaked whites that can age for decades. Or high acid whites with a little residual sugar like Riesling. But that's not what we're talking about. But if you like the fresh fruit flavor of whites, then drink them within a couple years. Similarly, most red wines you find are meant for immediate consumption, especially from the grocery store or Bevmo or something. A lot of how long people age wine is personal preference. If you like it big and fruity and it makes your jaw clench a little, drink it young. If you like it smooth, without the tannic teeth coating, and with more of an earthy, savory flavor, drink it older. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. Different wines are intended for different things though. Again, sorry to be unhelpful, but my best recommendation is to go to tastings to try before you before or just experience new things and if you like it at the current age, drink it. And ask, "How will this wine change over time?" It's a a case-by-case thing. Personally, I like to take notes on tastings and you can see patterns emerge in terms of what varietals, regions etc you like, but also when you like to drink them. It's not the worst study process.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:06:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's pretty common talk in tasting rooms to compare wines to other wineries. My mother doesn't take it negatively, as people will like what they like even if it's the same wine with a different label and price tag.
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, she could have just asked during the conversation.
snark_city ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you know the story of the emperor's new clothes, right? so clearly the problem is that adults are too conditioned by society to be honest about wine. but a kid? a kid will tell it like it is. so the obvious solution is to lower the drinking age to 5.
gergasi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:49:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a CalTech/Stanford study that did brainscans on people who drank the same wine, but different price labels. It actually shows different stimulation/enjoyment levels. So, more expensive wine is literally better because the brain says so after reading the label.
Vitalstatistix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a winemaker, and I've never heard of anyone selling shiners like that. Where is she located?
Chief_H ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:11:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its pretty common for bulk wine, and I always see a lot of posts for shiners as well.
Vitalstatistix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:27:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Bulk wine is commonly sold prior to bottling or just left un-bottled though for later. Going into a bottling you have a pretty good idea how much you're going to bottle, so if you have too much and you want to sell it on the bulk market, you just leave it in barrel vs. doing all the hard work of getting it into bottle. Selling shiners just isn't common here in Napa.
Chief_H ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I see what you are saying.
My only guess is they don't have the means, or wish, to store some of their wine after bottling. Or maybe they've found it easier to sell smaller quantities (like 300 gallons left over) as shiners instead of bulk wine.
Fango925 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works for a smaller winery (3500 cases a year), 300 gallons being left over as "a small amount" is a weird thought for me. That's a ton of wine in my world.
Vitalstatistix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even at our size (around 20k cases, which is still very small relatively) we don't want to have to sell 300 gallons bulk. It means we've probably fucked up the wine in some way, our fruit was worse than we would have liked to start with, or our sales team can't sell 120 cases--either way, not good. And you get pennies on the dollar for bulk wine, so that sucks.
Vitalstatistix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my guess is it's difficult to sell more than what they budget for, which isn't much of a problem in Napa--anything made with Napa fruit and already all the way in bottle is probably more valuable than trying to sell it just as a shiner.
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why wouldn't you want to sell all you have? So the bottle can be an exclusive 1 of 50?
Vitalstatistix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You do if it's a bulk amount and not just a few extra cases, but it's uncommon here to go through the extra work of getting it into bottle and then sell it.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the East Bay Area. It seemed odd to me too but my mother has sold quite a bit of wine that way.
Vitalstatistix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As in her winery is in the East Bay? I'm jealous if that's the case.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. She doesn't own it, but she is the wine maker. Beautiful spot, she loves it.
Vitalstatistix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome. I only know of Broc Cellars down in Berkeley specifically, but I knew there were a handful more. I think many of us young WMs here in Napa would love to be able to live in the East Bay, but the commute would be horrible.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:22:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah East Bay is turning into the new Napa it seems. The city of Livermore has over 50 wineries last I checked, with some great scenery. The traffic is pretty awful though.
Vitalstatistix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I wouldn't go that far hah. They all have a long way to go to knock Napa off the top perch. The scenery here doesn't hurt either.
Salacious_Rickshaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly not with prestige, but the amount of wineries and people coming for the wines is growing rapidly.
Legonator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As with many things in life, many people lack the ability to detect subtle details, which is why presentation is huge. Our brains when looking at a completely shitty bottle (say a 5 gallon drug store cab) vs a very expensive looking bottle will choose the expensive bottle most of the time; it's more of the brain WANTING this scenario to be right then reality of it being right. Truth is, they could have been 2 sheets to the wind when they tried that other "better" Cab and at that point dog urine tastes great in a fancy bottle.
WhiteRabbit86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Leftover....wine.....? I don't understand what you mean?
laaanis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:30:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oxymoron
gangbangkang ยท 1659 points ยท Posted at 02:24:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of the craft beer snobs on Reddit laughing along like this doesn't apply to them.
nordic_barnacles ยท 835 points ยท Posted at 02:42:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, sure. Acoustical mirroring on a proper beer stein is actually an effective method of "graining" the beer. I mean, if you've never heard Tennessee blue hops after a fresh draft pour, you really should just stick to drinking piss.
[deleted] ยท 603 points ยท Posted at 02:55:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/NfDa9H4.gif
rwarren85 ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 03:14:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is mesmerizing.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 03:42:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the moustache.
TheVitoCorleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mustache you a question....but I'll shave it for later.
Average_human_bean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you pronounced it "moo-stash".
mobileuseratwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At work and in a meeting so i cant dig out the long version this is from
Stonythepony42 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:07:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll stick to drinking piss! Aka Milwaukee's Best!
Falcon990 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 03:28:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not surprising that's the best Milwaukee has to offer.
Ted_Brogan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:52:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lakefront and Mke breweries both make some excellent beers. Wisconsin also makes Spotted Cow which is fan fucking tastic
judokid78 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stopped cow i think is overrated, but the the same brewery makes the frรผh beers, which is the fruited Belgian style ales. Those beers are absolutely amazing.
Ted_Brogan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To each their own I guess. I haven't tried the frรผh beers that you speak of but I will agree that New Glarus Brewery does have a great selection. Two Women and Moon Man are some other good ones that they make.
judokid78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I probably have to revisit spotted cow. But if you like Belgian's you have to look for the new glarus Belgian red.
urbanpsycho ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:40:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Leinenkugel's is brewed in Milwaukee so I would shut your fucking mouth if I were you. :)
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:45:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having some bevvies with the boys.
urbanpsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I responded to someone who claimed that Milwaukee's best was the best beer produced in Milwaukee. Are they Capital Brewing? No, of course not, but they make like 2 dozen or so beer styles.
flub_n_rub ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:37:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the shitty piss fruit beers that pretend they are German?
urbanpsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one said they were all German style beer. My last name is Slavic, so if I brewed English or Irish style beers I would be a liar?
So you had a honeyweiss once and didn't care for it, i take it?
flub_n_rub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've had 3-4 of their beers. Made a mistake of buying them a long time ago, and then have tried one or two more over the years to confirm their beers are terrible.
urbanpsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:33 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
beer advocate doesn't seem to agree with you, but taste is subjective.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:07:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Leinie's was based out of chippewa falls?
judokid78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is but there is a brewery in Milwaukee as well. As mke is a much better city to be in if you want to distribute nationally.
urbanpsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woodman's corporate is in Janesville, but the Woodman's in waukesha is less of a Woodman's?
Ted_Brogan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Kugels is not very remarkable. There are so many better options in Milwaukee
urbanpsycho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Lakefront is generally better than Leinenkugel's, imo.
TheBaronOfTheNorth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was brewed in Chippewa Falls. I live in Wisconsin and I can never find the regular red labels anywhere regularly.
otis_reading ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's their best, imo. Sad that their "fruity" beers get the notoriety. I knew some "true beer nerds" who were drinking that pretty religiously back in the 90's before the craft beer explosion.
urbanpsycho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's on north 10th street. Yeah, they also are in Chippewa falls, they started there.
bendmahon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:37:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The local brews are some of the best. I'd recommend anything from Water Street Brewery (great food too, on the East Side) or Lakefront Brewery.
Scaraban ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:10:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Red Letter Media is the best thing to come out of Milwaukee.
pretentiousRatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The beast ice
Acupriest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
An American beer primarily named after a city is basically piss. Milwaukee's Be(a)st, Old Milwaukee, Milwaukee 101, Olympiaโฆ I mean, I'd love to hear counter-examples, but I've gone by this principle and it has worked so far.
vernontwinkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BEAST!!!
bigpoppawood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try Milwaukee's Special Reserve. Far superior. Only
downsideupside is that it only comes in 30 packs\$15. Turns out it's not made by the same company as Milwaukee's Best though...or in Milwaukee....BrodyMac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Say what you want but ol mill is pretty drinkable for the price
JJ_The_Jet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Old milwaukee, for those wondering.
ZKtheMAN_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn.
spunkychickpea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is glorious. It must be reversed for a downvote gif.
Zeropathic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There was a whole video with a bunch of these, wasn't there?
Froggy_hop ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 03:05:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of the comments in this thread make me so happy.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 03:23:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of the comments in this thread make me so hoppy.
bino420 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:48:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Citra ass down and lemme tell you the story of Calyptra - a fair maiden from a galaxy far far away who was deemed challenger to the reigning centennial champion Apollo, former admiral of Columbus. This summer, she and a Chinook once decided to steal a cluster of crystal and bouillon from a tomahawk camp in honor of freedom. Suffice it to say, a magnum round hit her in the chest causing a cascade of blood the size of Mt Rainer to burst from her chest in a mosaic of reds into the Pacifica.
ImGonnaKickTomorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're an IPA guy, huh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Belgian Quads and Trippels honestly.
DoverBoys ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:14:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This PBR sounds like water.
scoyne15 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:46:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It has echos of sex in a canoe...
_N_O_P_E_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice shader
DontTouchMeTherePlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Rainier sounds very glacial.
Raptor231408 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's because PBR is unfiltered water
Kobayashi_Nauru ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:06:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fighting urge to downvote for pretentiousness
esmooth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.jpg
Zolo49 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that too many casual beer tasters drink their beer against the grain, ruining the subtle benefits of graining the beer in the first place.
brekkabek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't even tell if this is sarcastic or not
VasectoMyspace ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:11:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're not drinking from a snifter glass you're not a proper beer snob.
quantum-mechanic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A healthy male, doing honest farm-labor all day, can do wonders for the post-digestive mouthfeel of a fine ale. Its not something just anyone can detect though. There's a special note of licorice and hayseed that only Mexicans can provide.
GaikokuJohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Checked
twalstead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are not enough ways for me to invite that.
fungusgolem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm, those Tennessee Blue hops
thatguywithglasses97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if this is satire or not.
bubba_feet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
check out the plebe using a stein instead of proper Spiegelau glassware.
next i suppose you'll be extolling the virtues of pub shaker glasses.
EnfieldCNC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Paging /u/THEREAL_BearGrylls to weigh in on this.
flee_market ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking literal actual piss isn't as bad as people make it sound, if the uh, "donor", is well-hydrated. It's basically just warm water at that point.
Now if they're dehydrated it's absolutely disgusting.
Which some people are into.
Not that I would know anything about that.
paoro ยท 693 points ยท Posted at 02:52:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I simply buy the cheapest beer and drink it.
Not because of any ironic sense of taste but to numb my many failings as a person, to dull my regrets and drown my depression.
Life is suffering.
Airstew ยท 459 points ยท Posted at 03:11:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The way alcohol is meant to be enjoyed
SexualPie ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 03:44:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i find that the salt from my tears really gives my beer a much fuller flavor
CheeseWizzed ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:32:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the fine bouquet of failure adds a lot to any alcoholic beverage
MyNameIsDon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Although to be fair, my Puerto Rican friend all but shoved a lime into the carona I was bitching about. They're onto something here.
FAPS_2MUCH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
If you like a little salt you should try your beer with a garnish of semen and a splash of guilt.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I hate beer with the "brewer's yeast" still in it.
Davros_au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll drink to that
ssjumper ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:15:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does it work?
benjammin9292 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 03:22:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried it? Of course it works.
But the morning after is met with anxiousness and heavy regret. But that happens regardless of the beer I drink.
[deleted] ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:03:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I drink in the mornings now too. Wake up feeling anxious, shitty, and sometimes suicidal. Fuck that noise, I need to deafen it with booze.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
URAPEACEOFSHEET ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:44:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get anxiety regardless if i drink or not
benjammin9292 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:50:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heavy drinking tends to make me anxious, so I try to avoid it as much as possible.
RampantShitposting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hangover anxiety is a real thing, m8.
Strazdas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The solution is not benzo, the solution is to stop drinking.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop being so fucking real
Alex470 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Happens most often with Colt 45 and Cobra, for me.
jamin_brook ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:27:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ask /r/drunk and then ask /r/cripplingalcoholism
ewbrower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course not, it only almost works
man_of_molybdenum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:58:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My man!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
same, but with liquor.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I go alcohol content / $ spent. Beer Is too much
paoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just replied to beer as it was topical. I actually drink cheap no name vodka.
pelesaysnoway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The unprecedented truth
EvilStareCareBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
diesel_stinks_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But the low alcohol content barely gives me a buzz. I swear, I could drink a 12 pack of Bud Light and never get drunk.
joewaffle1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spoken like a true alcoholic.
But yeah me too
EclecticDreck ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:04:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm somewhat late to the beer game having spent many perfectly good legal drinking years doing it wrong. In my old age, I've rushed to catch up on my schooling and I can say this without a hint of irony and there is no taint of hipster here: just about every mass market lager tastes more or less the same. Sure, Budweiser might taste slightly better than PBR or Lone Star or whatever your local equivalent of garbage tier beer is, but you're really slicing narrow percentage points. I'd wager the average person who claims preference for one brand or another couldn't actually identify their favored brand in a taste test. If it's less than 8 bucks for a six pack and it's a lager under 5% ABV, go with whatever gives you the most alcohol for the dollar.
Now, if you get over 5% ABV, things get interesting. At the high end of garbage tier beer, you've got stuff like Steel Reserve or Schlitz. This stuff tends to have weak flavor which means you taste the alcohol itself. This isn't good. Everything I've ever tried in this category tastes of wrongness, of a thing that shouldn't be, as though some quality beer were incarcerated in some hellhole and taken advantage of by some other better beer. There is no place for such a beverage, because if your aim is to get drunk on the cheap, store brand soda and bottom shelf liquor will do the job cheaper while managing a far more delicious flavor. Avoid stuff like steel reserve at all costs.
A better choice for booze on the cheap is malt liquor - something not nearly so deserving of its bad reputation. They really aren't appreciably worse in terms of flavor, certainly not much worse than, say, PBR, but they come in such tremendous volume. One can purchase the better part of a gallon of Mickeys for a mere 72 ounces of weaker beer that's just as nasty. If you're looking for volume and flavor along with alcohol content, boxed wine is a great way to go. Ten dollars of Franzia will render the hardiest liver holder loopy for several nights in a row. Of course, wine tends to come with nasty hangovers and creepy bowel movements, so I'll share a secret: liquor.
People tend to hesitate at the price of a bottle that contains so little life lubricant as even on the cheap end one pays substantially more per ounce than for garbage tier beer but here's the thing: liquor is stronger. Now, sure, I know that you know that just as I know most people don't really have a taste for good or bad in this arena and that latter fact is a keen ally. You don't need to be the hardy sort to enjoy liquor, nor do you need expensive tastes. Something brown mixed with soda will probably be drinkable while something clear with something fruit will similarly be easy enough to drink. If you're looking for a drunk on the cheap, want some volume for the trouble and want something tasty, there is a silver bullet that relies on the ancient alechemical techniques that yielded the long island iced tea. Find yourself a solo cup or knock off brand, then open a can of Mountain Dew or something as close as you can afford (mountain lightning is better than 7-UP, or Sprite, Squirt isn't a bad filler either) and dump it in. It will help your measurement if the can of soda is cold along with the liquor. Having acquired the bottom tier drink container and filled it with something the color of unhealthy bile, all you need now is spiced rum. Now, I'd be lying if I said the type of rum doesn't matter. Better rum tends to result in less nastiness the next day but if you're taking the bottle exit to this life, who cares? All you need is rum somewhere between the sweet clear stuff and the savory black stuff. Captain Morgan is a fine middle ground but I've had flavor success with the plastic bottle wonder called Admiral Nelson. Sailor Jerry is, of course, better and if you're willing to lift your gaze to higher shelves (and have the pocketbook to match such a grasp) things get even better. Still, I digress. You've got a can of something similar to Mountain Dew in a flimsy plastic cup and so all that's left is the booze. All you really have to do is fill the cup from there.
Now, if you're like me and you hate stirring, you'll probably find that the bottom of your solo cup has a harsh dividing line (for structure?). You could always pour the booze in the cup till you reach that line and then pour in the soda. The result is something similar to vanilla mountain dew - a dangerous drink even if it looks like you emptied a fairly clean septic tank to make the beverage. It's stronger than most beers by more than a bit and hides the taste of the booze so well that you'll absentmindedly sip and slurp until you decide it is the right time to play counter strike. At that point, if you follow my example at least, you'll find that you're so bad at that game that you drink more while playing others and soon you'll find you're bad at just about everything. Then, at some point in the wee hours of the morning, you'll find yourself unable to sleep while still very drunk that you'll come up with a new online alias for yourself, perhaps one that describes how you're bad (like garbage or trash) at a wide variety of things (games in this case).
It can't be EclecticDreck, though, because I've got dibbs on that.
Strazdas1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
please tell me this is a copypasta.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I want to taste the machinery used to brew that shit.
paoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You want to taste a tractor?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because you brew beer with a tractor.
paoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The kind I drink is.
spiralout1123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You and I. Thank you, kind men at Natural Light.
Hyperpoly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Eat Arby's.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See you could buy the cheapest beer but it's going to be the most watered down. This is why you buy a 6 pack of those little 211 cans. That way you can maximize your relief from the internal pain.
freshhorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like good beer and I definitely have ones I prefer but sometimes the cheapest "crap" does the job as well. Especially when it only comes to getting drunk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:36:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dunno where you live by spirits are probably cheaper per mL of alcohol. Become a rummy today!
regeya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wine I drink was made out of Concord grape juice concentrate, on my kitchen counter. It tastes like grapes, alcohol, and a hint of failure.
bob_sagget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am meeseeks.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CraftyFellow_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rehab is for quitters.
STIPULATE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shouldn't laugh but that's the funniest way to describe rehab.
Konker101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He checks it with alcohol
Warskull ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:32:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to drink yourself into a stupid, can't beat Vodka. Nothing gives you more alcohol for your dollar. Plus it doesn't have all those extra calories beer has. The choice of the most alcoholic nations on earth.
ChIck3n115 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bottom shelf 151 rum does! $12 for a liter bottle of 75.5% ABV paint thinner that you can dilute to double the volume, or drink it straight to put some hair on your
chestesophagus. Stuff got me through grad school without breaking the bank, plus it's just fun to set it on fire and doubles as a disinfectant.paoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do drink cheapest vodka as well.
FalmerbloodElixir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. When it comes to drowning the sorrows of a shitty life, Russians are certainly the experts.
wemblinger ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:22:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Craft Beer: Whatever I'm drinking when I am gluing popsicle sticks together with my kid
antiduh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, that was amazing.
NickH114 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:56:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was way too high for that
bxblox ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:43:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a beer snob.
"Mmmmmmmmmhm tasty. Last call? What do you have in a 15% abv?"
Hyronious ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 03:50:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a craft beer snob. I'll drink pretty much anything, but the taste of a great beer is amazing. Anyway, this doesn't apply to me. I taste the beer, decide if I like it, then continue to drink it or get a different one. No looking closely or ensuring it's exposed to the air for half an hour before I drink it or whatever. If I'm asked to describe it, I usually won't go past sweet/bitter hoppy/not and strong/light
Ninja_Moose ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 04:25:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, you're not a snob. Just someone who knows good beer and what they like.
Snobs are people who shit on someone just because they're not drinking triple-hopped underwear-filtered drop forged fission-formed microbrews.
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:10:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice one dude, every real beer afficianado knows that fusion-formed can be just as good
geeca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I read words but I'm not quite sure what they mean.
Ninja_Moose ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:56:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's OK, I write them and I don't know what they mean either.
flub_n_rub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't drink a fission-formed nitro? scoff
Fucking piece of shit.
FiachB7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Filtered beer? Pfft, plebeian.
xanarax ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I shit on my colleague because he drinks pale lager. But that doesn't count, right?
VoodooChild175 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:22:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're shitting on someone for enjoying something that you don't. I'm not sure if it means you're a snob or not, but you do need to reconsider your life and priorities.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:14:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you're not a craft beer snob.
Hyronious ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:22:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I always thought of a snob as someone who spends way too much money on things that most other people think of as not really that much better. Like me bringing craft beers to parties as a student
_Bay_Harbor_Butcher_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:30:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think they are just jabbing you for not being snobby about it, which it doesn't sound like you are. I'm much like you. I don't drink shit beer. I'll show up at a party with good beer but I don't go much passed describing a beer the way you do. The only people that would consider us beer snobs are people who religiously swear by Bud Light and anything above that is some snobby hipster shit. You, like me, just enjoy a beer with flavor.
OldSchoolRPGs ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:46:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Craft Beer "snobs" are like the reddit boogeyman. I've been to too many breweries, drank 1000s of different beers, been to events and belong to many of the groups, but I've never seen this Unicorn of a person who is just so full of themselves and beer that they come off as snobby.
The worst you see is people putting down domestic beer. So what? To them it tastes like garbage. Is the guy who rags on McDonald's hamburgers a Craft Burger snob? I see so much hate for these kinds of people on reddit, but all that I've met are really passionate about the hobby and are usually friendly drunken people.
I think the people who enjoy domestic and complain on here are just super defensive about what they drink. Like they just got caught eating out of the trash and they're trying to justify it by putting other people down.
MeowFood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:36:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh they exist. And they are so common, you probably aren't noticing it. I had been a real hardcore craft beer enthusiast for about 15 years and thought the same. Last summer, I cut gluten and grain out of my diet. I allow myself the occasional beer, but it is no longer something I'm passionate about. And the same people who I used to enjoy exploring new beers with are just insufferable now. It isn't even judgement of others, as much as it seems to be a game of one-upsmanship with each other. Now I hear stuff like, "Wow, I cannot believe they served that beer at 55 degrees. 52 would be much more appropriate." Was it true? I dunno. I'm disconnected enough from the hobby that I don't know nor care. But there is always that guy who needs to be the smartest in the room at every brewery, bar, etc.
OldSchoolRPGs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno if your one example is real or just an embellishment of an actual conversation you've heard, but serving beer at the wrong temperature is kind of a big deal. While I've never had the conversation where I was arguing over 3 degrees, there's plenty of places that serve their beer way too cold and you need to wait half an hour before it's even drinkable. I don't see how it's snobby, a lot of beers are meant to be served warmer if you want to actually taste everything. I'd be upset if I order a coffee and it was too cold, the same goes for certain beers.
I'm sure snobs exist like in any hobby, but unless you're on a few select subreddits, the words "craft beer" are always associated with "snobs". And people here are so defensive, posting "I JUST LIKE A COLD BUD LIGHT. NOT SOME FRUITY TRIPLE HOPPED BELGIAN!" like we really care that much about what you're drinking. If I offer my friend a beer, it's because I'd like him to enjoy my hobby with me. I'm not trying to force anybody to drink a bottle I spent $50 on.
MeowFood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:43:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
True example, actually happened. Fully understand the importance of temperature. I'm pointing out the extreme people took it to. I call bullshit on anyone who sips a beer and claims to tell a 3 degree difference.
There are legitimate gripes with temperature, as you mention. Just like serving in a proper glass, the correct pour, etc. Some people, however, feel the need to beat there chest and show how much more they know than others. Sadly, I've experienced this much more in person since I rarely consider anything I see on Reddit as representative of reality.
kensomniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I only had to be around the craft beer scene for 3 weeks, delivering the stuff, and I ran into one guy. Kind of guy that would wait for deliveries to show up so he could buy up the one off or rarer crafts, then he'd fire up his youtube channel of him tasting a sip of it. Then 10 minutes trashing it, then he'd pour out all the bombers/bottles he bought just because.
He literally spent hundreds of dollars to shit on crafts.
May_Be_Harrison_Ford ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:37:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If someone who only drinks Bud Light criticizes someone who drinks craft beer but doesn't like Bud Light, doesn't that kind of make the Bud Light-only drinker the real beer snob? I drink craft beer a lot but don't drink beers like Bud, Miller, etc. and I can't count the amount of times I've been chastised for it. Meanwhile, I don't chastise anyone who doesn't enjoy the same beer I do. As far as I'm concerned, all beer is good beer, it's just that some beer is better than other beer.
_Bay_Harbor_Butcher_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:47:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I'd be inclined to agree with that. I have friends that are big bud drinkers who poke fun at me for being "snobby" because I drink those dreadfully disgusting IPAs and stouts and such. I just reply and apologize for enjoying a beer that doesn't taste like someone carbonated and bottled their own piss.
May_Be_Harrison_Ford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha that's exactly my response as well when my non-craft beer drinking friends bust my chops for drinking an IPA or a saison.
sober_yeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well put! All beer is good beer but some are better than others. There are "snobs" for everything but beer is like food. There are thousands of flavors and everyone has their own taste. My friends and I work at a liquor/craft beer store and can appreciate anything really but the beers I take home for me are way, way different than the beers they take home for them.
What I really hate is when someone just flat out says "I don't like beer." That's like saying you don't like food after eating only oatmeal! There are so many beers to try that is is almost guaranteed you will like some of them.
May_Be_Harrison_Ford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I used to dislike beer as well until I tried Dogfish Head's Aprihop (which Im not sure they even make anymore, sadly). Now I love beer and am 100% convinced that there is a beer out there for everyone, even people who say they don't like beer.
origin_of_an_asshole ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:31:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can be a craft beer fan or even enthusiast without being a snob. Snobs are condescending, pretentious, and elitist about their hobby. You sound like a pleasant guy to drink with.
DangerBrewin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:54:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A snob is more a person who flouts their knowledge on an obscure and trivial subject in order to act superior to those around them. You sound like more of a craft beer enthusiast. Cheers buddy!
Hyronious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yay better term! Now I can open conversations with "I'm a craft beer enthusiast" in a condescending tone! But really thanks for clarifying, seems I was using the term snob too liberally
DrunkPoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nahh.. I use the term Beer Enthusiast!
ThaWZA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always enjoyed craft beer at parties, it was the best way yo start liking the cheaper macrobrews. I would bring a couple sixers of Bell's Two Hearted along, keep two for myself, and pass out the rest.
After two 7% IPA's i would have the start of a buzz and my palate would be blown the fuck out. Perfect time to open that 30 rack of PBR and get to drinking.
Yeren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound more like a big craft beer fan to me, which is great. The snobs to me are the people that say things like , "I don't like this IPA because it too much Mosaic in it" or "I don't like this yeast strain it has too much of a peppery taste".
Reallyknowsitall ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, I'd disagree... some people do not like certain hops or yeast flavors. I really love all beer (seriously even Coors light on a hot summer day can't be beat IMO)...
That said, saying "I don't like this yeast strain" may not come from a place of malice or snobbery, but rather a "hey, i know i don't like those flavors in a beer" way. If that makes sense?
Same with hops, some people get "cat piss" or "phenolic" flavors from different hops while others wont. I am a fan of mosaic hops, my roomate hates them because he says they smell terrible to him. Is he a beer snob for saying he doesnt like mosaic hopped beers? IMO, no... now, saying that noone should drink a mosaic hopped beer is snobby to me. Saying "hey, i dont like this because of X, but i can see how others might enjoy it" isnt the same in my book.
Hopefully that wall of text made sense, about 4 pints deep right now.
InfinitelyThirsting ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see how that's any different from saying "I don't like this dish because the cilantro makes it taste like soap to me", or "I don't like this salad because the dressing has too much vinegar".
mattgoldsmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm we'll be the judge of that!
Rekktal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you gotta say to convince yourself.
SushiGradeNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I am. The beer selection at my local grocer is insane, I always try something different, it's just fun. And while I've found expensive beer that I love, I can still easily drink a PBR or Grain Belt.
shiveringshoegazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can take specific notes on wines, and make sure it's exposed to air for the proper amount of time for that wine, and give thought to pairings and whatnot, without being a snob. If you are really into wine, those things can greatly improve the experience for you, and at the same time if you're not really into wine (or even if you are) you might not feel those things improve the experience at all and that's okay. Snobbery is about acting superior and shitting on other peoples tastes, not about being in tune with your own tastes; that's the difference between a snob and an honest hobbyist/enthusiast. You sound like you're the latter and that's awesome. I may be willing to drop $$ on Grand Cru Burgundy since savoring a well-made wine with a sense of place is a very valuable experience to me (and it's absolutely okay for other people to not value that experience the same way I do), but I don't think I'm any better or more sophisticated or more "right" than the person buying a bottle of Barefoot Moscato to down as fast as possible for it. The beautiful thing about wine or beer or any other beverage is that you can take an experienced sommelier/cicerone, an experienced winemaker, and two random people off the street, and pour them a glass of the same thing, and each one of them is enjoying it (or not enjoying it) in a slightly different way.
CptnAlex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. In fact, my confession is I think Headytopper is overrated!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:33:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, exposure to oxygen absolutely changes the taste of wine over time. That's not even one of the snobby things about wine tasting; it's actually one of the simplest. Many wines will taste completely different from immediately after they're opened to 30 minutes later to an hour later, to days later. That's not a snob thing, it's literally just physics.
If you open a beer and taste it a few hours later it'll be flat. Similar idea, not quite the same, but the point is your comment only exposes that you don't know the simplest thing about wine. Not that you're somehow cool for liking beer on your own terms.
sillycyco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:55:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is a snob thing to point this out as a measure of superiority. Knowing about, or being passionate about, a subject does not make one a snob. Being an asshole about it does.
There are beer styles served almost completely flat (or still). Cask ales, barleywines, certain lambics/sours, etc. Traditionally, all beer, for thousands of years, was served flat. Carbonation is a relatively new thing for beer, considering its long history.
But I guess the point is your comment only exposes that you don't know the simplest thing about beer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? I used flatness as a comparison for simplicity sake and admitted in my comment it wasn't a one for one thing. "Similar idea, not quite the same". Did you read that part? Thanks for the unsolicited history lesson though, Mr. Down-to-earth-beer-drinker.
Christ you're worse than a wine snob but less knowledgeable.
sillycyco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are the one questioning folks knowledge.
FYI, the carbonation state of a beer affects flavor vastly more so than the oxygen exposure of wine. It most certainly is applicable, and a fair comparison. I am just throwing your own lack of knowledge, and snobbery, right back at you since you seem to not be that on top of what you are talking about.
ivanoski-007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck snobbish behavior in general
CheeseWizzed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i don't listen to hip hop, but i listen to hops
Schfifty426 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite video on beer snobs:
https://bensbeerblog.com/2015/04/01/beer-goes-in-your-mouth/
the_leprechauns_anus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:25:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This Irish lager has a hint of asian anus mixed with a tinge of german sweat. It's almost a perfect match.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you have my attention
Philosoreptar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:48:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit has some seriously pompous craft beer snobs, once forever ago I asked what's a good easy drinking beer to buy to reward a handful of people helping me move some of my heavier items into my new home. I said that the participants have always found common ground with something like a yuengling. Holy hell did they turn up their nose, at a pretty average beer.
mysistersacretin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Third Shift Lager is my go to for stuff like that. Easy to drink and pretty tasty. But the people on Reddit would probably also turn their noses up at that.
Philosoreptar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:46 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate the tip! I'll get some the next time I'm at the store. Thanks
Ted_Brogan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its elegant and tasteful
Effimero89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly right my friend.
chechenk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! I'm always like, Hey Beer!
duuubs22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like craft beer because it tastes good, and I still like generic beer
Lord_of_the_Dance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Psh everyone knows that beer is more musical than wine, just listen to those bubbles pop!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer crap beer. PBR, Rolling Rock, that kind of really watery, non hoppy beer. IPA NO WAY! If I even get a hint of hops, I'm out. When I am out working in the yard, I want a beer I can chug, get loaded, and stay hydrated.
Oh, I do like Guinness too on occasion.
betona ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Right there with you, but you know what? Beer will make a sound, so you need to comment on how the foam bubbles are popping less firmly indicating that the hops were harvested prematurely...
smokesinquantity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I've never checked for legs on my beer. Then again I may not be a snob.
RemingtonSnatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:15:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Point some out.
Whargod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're all wrong. I prefer a nice rum aged in an industrial tank with a splash of Diet Coke for that chemical aftertaste. You wine and beer people can keep your stinking fruit and hops.
decompyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being elitist and attempting to describe what you like and don't like about particular sensory perceptions are two completely different things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:36:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:38:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TFHanYolo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:41:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
confirmed
alex10175 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You poor bastard.
Doctah_Whoopass ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, beer really does have a wide range of flavours and aromas.
Swiggety666 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:08:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine too.
luckysevensampson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say the difference in taste between good beers is much larger than the difference in taste between good wines. Maybe that's just because I'm a beer snob and not a wine snob.
Beer-Wall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit always tells me having a preference makes me a snob.
Derwos ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound like a snob yourself.
May_Be_Harrison_Ford ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:40:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
90% of the time that I see people being snobbish about beer, it's this exact attitude where people who don't enjoy craft beer thumb their noses at those who do. I've hardly ever seen craft-drinkers chastise non-craft drinkers on reddit.
zoeypayne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:29:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that I like craft beer, it's that I hate multinational conglomerates.
oblivioustoobvious ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:01:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. So many beer snobs on reddit. They dislike mass produce domestics. Those snobs!
Smooth_scribbiler ยท -22 points ยท Posted at 03:04:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha i went to a beer tasting one time, they poured me a shotglass and then said to smell it. Nah, aint gonna happen, just give me a pint, if it's good it's good, idc about aromas or hints of citrus and oak.
BaggySpandex ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:07:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to be rude, but I mean, that's kind of the point of tastings. If you wanted a pint you should've gone to a pub.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:10:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yea. That's like going to an Opera and being upset that the whole thing was singing. What a moron.
Nomsensus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's like going to an opera and being upset because there's no mosh pit
origin_of_an_asshole ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to the wrong operas then.
urbanpsycho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taken to the movie "into the woods" and was disappointed it was basically singing.. but then again, i don't complain about it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was taken to see Sweeney Todd. About 10 minutes in I wondered when they'd stop singing. I was actually pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the rest despite that brief moment of disappointment.
urbanpsycho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if i am prepared to see a musical, i enjoy them more. after all, the musical was invented in 'Murica.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he wanted to see what it's like and didn't enjoy it. Are you really gonna call him a moron for this lmao
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:28:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a taste testing... what do you mean "see what it's like"? Everyone knows what a taste testing is.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
no they don't lmao. I mean everybody know you taste stuff cause it's in the name but I sure don't know what it's like to go to one. It was probly just snootier than he's used to
Smooth_scribbiler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you're saying, you're right. I usually just go to breweries and get a flight of their classics and then a pint. I never really take smell into account was what i was implying. To each their own i guess.
ahminus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:38:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, taste and smell are conjoined... when you're eating food, you're smelling it as well as tasting it. Same with drinks.
altanic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also not trying to be rude but that was exactly his point
Dr_WLIN ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:19:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you also get pissed off at Costco/Sams when they pass out samples?
Or are you just a socially awkward moron?
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:23:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Maybe it's just me, but I like bold flavor in my beer. If someone tells me there is a hint/subtle/light/note of [insert token flavor], they are automatically placed in the palm reading and crystal energy category. I've tasted those beers, and all I tasted was the fermented barley or hops.
Edit: Awww would ya look at that, looks like I riled up all the beer snobs.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:40:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
princessprity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or coffee flavors in many stouts.
BurntPaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are definitely flavor notes in beer. Most people can pick out at least some of the major ones. Some people can pick out more subtle ones. Some people have a hard time picking out any at all. It's definitely a real thing, though.
Of course, it doesn't mean you're drinking it wrong or anything. If you enjoy it, that's awesome. But it's not really in the same league as palm reading.
dude_with_amnesia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? You might just have shitty taste buds then, some beers have an awesome citrus aftertaste thag really offsets the bitterness of really hoppy ales and I love it.
justinb138 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:58:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Canada's Don de Dieu and New Belgium Sunshine are two that come to mind. Good stuff.
Nomsensus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those bold flavors are just a cumulative effect of the more subtle notes. It's equal parts you being more open minded and the party doing the explaining doing so in a way that isn't so exclusionary and elitist. I've been in the industry for years and the experience of drinking something amazing is almost pointless without the ability to share it with someone, you just have to know your audience and how to cater to them.
suapyg ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 14:56:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago, I was a woodworker/furniture maker dating a fancy gourmand/sommelier. She was clearly "slumming it" with me. One weekend, she took me on a wine tasting tour. In one vineyard, the snooty boy behind the counter brought out the flight for us to taste, and as we lifted our glasses for one particular wine, he explained that it was aged in French Oak barrels. Now, I didn't know a damned thing about wine, but I'd inhaled and swallowed enough wood dust to recognize the distinctive taste and smell of American White Oak.
I sheepishly brought it up, and was assured with a smug grin that I was mistaken. I breathed and tasted it again, and now I was certain - I insisted again, clearly embarrassing my girlfriend. Again he assured me, but said he would go in the back and ask why I might "sense a different genus."
Snooty boy came back a few minutes later apologizing. The barrels were American White Oak.
Ellawell ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:00:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a wine lover but not wine snob, this amused me. ๐
watermama ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:02:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well done! Score one for people with actual knowledge. I don't know why this makes my day.
JuanOffhue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You would perhaps enjoy trying different Riojas. When the Spanish first started making Riojas they had settlements in North America, so they used American oak. After Spainโs exit from the continent, some winemakers started using French oak instead. Now some use American, some use French, and some use both. Personally, I prefer the more pronounced vanilla flavor imparted by American oak.
I have been in the wine business for about 17 years now, but donโt consider myself to be a snob.
suapyg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:48 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool, I like Rioja, I'll have to play around and see what I can detect. By the end of that relationship, we had decided that I apparently have a very sensitive palate for the complexity of wine, but not the memory to store what I've learned.
AppeaseThis ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 04:37:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from Northern California. My go to wine comment is always, "tastes grapey." I don't get invited to wine tastings any more.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:49:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try "tastes alcoholly". It's an industry term, you'll sound like a pro.
AppeaseThis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:33 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Much too sophisticated for me. Ha!
Rambles_Off_Topics ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:40:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I go to a winery a lot (also a sports bar in the back) and the guy was giving me some samples and I said "whoa, this one tastes like the concord grapes my parents grow" and he's like "no kidding... I made them from concord grapes hahaha" and he made me feel neutral about it. I think some people over exaggerate how stuff tastes "subtle hints of blah blah bullshit" and I'm over here like "I like this one, let's get drunk on this one" and I'm pretty sure the wine maker enjoys those comments much more then the too detailed bs everyone else says. He's always like "me too! I had too much last night of that same stuff and I felt great this morning - Now that's a good wine"
AppeaseThis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:43 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I like this one, let's get drunk on this one" and I'm pretty sure the wine maker enjoys those comments much more then the too detailed bs everyone else says."
Couldn't agree more.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:30:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this wine, and I think it's nice to drink.
Are you having a nice time, too?
Sir... ? Hey. I like the wine.
Alright...
shockandale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:47:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It tastes like purple!
AppeaseThis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I'll use that as my backup. Thanks!
PC509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a winery (IT dept) and go to wine tastings a bit. I didn't drink wine before this job. I find some bitter, some taste more like grapes, some taste like other fruits. I don't want a "soil undertones with a hint of turd" taste. I want alcoholic grape juice.
Now I have a couple hundred bottles of wine (nice discount), and drink beer instead. Wine is ok, but I just like plain good tasting stuff.
But, ice wine is really sweet. Too sweet for me. I like bitter, but not too bitter. I don't like it too dry. I just want that "grapey" taste. Is that too much to ask!? I might ask a winemaker to make a "Dustin Edition Wine" that is a good grapey tasting wine. :D
mastertwisted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have a few more. They will have less 'g' in them.
AppeaseThis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:13 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'll take a beer fest over a wine tasting every time....I only keep wine in the house for the ladies.
Johnnysfootball ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 03:35:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a wine bar. I understand this man's pain. Had a guy come in the other night and told him it was our last round of drinks. He looked at me incredulously and laughed as if he was an evil Disney-wine-snob-villain for literally 10 seconds. I awkwardly walked away and then returned and he asked what Chardonnays we had. "We have Rombauer--" "HahaHAHAHAa" "Is something wrong?" "I can't drink sticks of butter!"
So I ended up giving this guy wine samples and dicked around with him: "The one you're tasting has bell pepper notes..." "Oh yes the bell pepper sits well on the palette"
I can't make this shit up. Five tastes later he asks for a glass of Rombauer. I love wine, but if you are this type of person seriously re-evaluate how you not only go about dealing with wines but people as well.
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 08:27:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think everyone really likes it when a person laughs in a loud, affected way.
You know, not laughing at you, or laughing at a joke... just really doing laughter to you.
It gives you an idea of the character they're playing.
btribble ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:36:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You do have to admit that the butter in that cougar juice does punch you in the face repeatedly.
BTW, the opposite of this is the guy pouring you wine who's either screwing with you or remembering the wrong wine in his head (possibly because he's on his 12th glass of wine for the day). Or worse, the guy who can't admit that a wine is giving off rotten cabbage and creosote. Don't keep talking up mineralogy when you poured me vinegar soaked jockstrap.
shadowjig ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:46:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Creosote??? Do wine snobs eat creosote to know what it tastes like?!?!
hot_like_wasabi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:36:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most of taste is smell.
DiggV4Sucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wikipedia says Liquid Smoke is made from creosote, although the flavor comes from something else.
btribble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. but I have made the mistake of throwing a part of a railroad tie on a bonfire.
DieHardRaider ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:54:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair Rombauer is extremely buttery. some people like and others hate it. i for one wouldn't drink it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of this witchcraft called Rombauer...I believe I have found a new wine to try. Seriously, it sounds delish (yes, I said it "delish"). I stopped drinking wine long ago because I have a very specific taste that I like and I'm rarely able to find it. I'm probably not describing it correctly but here goes: I like a fruity sweetness (not a rose, that's overkill on sweet, more mellow) but no taste or very little taste of alcohol.
DieHardRaider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best advice I can give you is go to tastings and buy cheap bottles until you find something you like. Here is a general sweetness chart on wines. http://winefolly.com/tutorial/wine-sweetness-chart/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. Thanks.
hot_like_wasabi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:35:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not all rosรจs are sweet. In fact, the majority are not and suit your criteria.
MonsterMeowMeow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:26:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A dry German Riesling maybe?
TheCaspica ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:22:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You still don't have to be a dick about it.
DieHardRaider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I agree. It could have just been a joke you took wrong also.
jasper_grunion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God I love Rombauer Chardonnay
Krunt ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 04:38:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rombauer is gross though and no decent wine bar would serve it. It's the wine equivalent of The Cheesecake Factory. Over the top, unnaturally sweet and loved by housewives.
Johnnysfootball ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:43:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
While it is way too buttery the guy was a tool about it. And ya we get a lot of housewives so it's smart for us to keep it in stock because they always ask for it.
imdungrowinup ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:04:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question. I don't get how a wine can be buttery. Does it mean it leaves your mouth feeling slippery like after you feel after eating butter?
I don't get subtle differences in wine or beer.
Johnnysfootball ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:42:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most buttery wines are typically chardonnays. Go to your local liquor/ wine store and ask for a bottle of Rombauer chardonnay/ a really buttery wine. Cool it in the fridge and then try it with a bag of Orville Redenbacher. Compare the flavors and you'll see it tastes like buttery popcorn :) pretty fun pairing
fungusgolem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:18:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In making beer Diacetyl shows up in young beer, it is the compound used to flavour popcorn. Do you know if it is this same compound responsible in Rombauer and similar wines?
YoungGreg ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. Diacetyl is produced by bacteria in wines that undergo malolactic fermentation - most chardonnays.
fungusgolem ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh- So Lactic Acid Bacteria presence is a desirable trait in some wines then?
YoungGreg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, definitely. Almost all red wines will be inoculated with lactic acid bacteria.
Strazdas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that sounds like way too much effort to get drunk.
dappitydap ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chardonnays have a tendency to be stored in oak barrels, which gives them an oaky and "buttery" taste. I don't know how to explain the "buttery" taste other than it's a very present mouthfeel (how heavy it is) and just kind of has a vanilla-y buttery taste. If you want to see the difference, try an unoaked chardonnay against an oaked chardonnay. They don't even taste like the same wine.
I'm not super well versed in wine, but I've been lucky enough get a some training from a very knowledgable person and wine is pretty neat when you get into it. If you ever get the chance to take a class I recommend it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:20:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The buttery flavor comes from the secondary fermentation process called Malolactic Fermentation. The vanilla comes from the oak. It can also happen in beer sometimes when they brew it too warm and is generally very undesired. As with most things wine it can be done well and it can be done poorly IMO. If you try our something like Kistler it has all of those butter and vanilla notes but they're well intagrated and it tastes delicious.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malolactic_fermentation
karateandfriendshipp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Malolactic fermentation causes this in chardonnay especially. It converts tart malic acid to soft lactic acid which in turn gives a buttery/creamy component and richer flavor/texture.
MacaroniShits ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:02:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WHOOP WHOOP! WINE SNOB ALERT! WHOOP WHOOP!
Krunt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing about wine doesn't make someone a snob. Serving Rombauer at a wine bar is like a craft beer bar serving Keystone, but if Keystone cost $30 a glass.
perpetuallytemporary ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:39:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, but shitting on what other people like does. Saying "Rombauer has a lot of diacetyl, giving it a buttery flavor" is knowing something. Saying "real wine drinkers hate buttery wines and they shouldn't drink them" is snobby af.
Krunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you like buttery wines that's perfectly fine. Plenty of people do. There's hundreds of well made, more inexpensive buttery wines though. Rombauer is industrially made, not entirely chardonnay, sweetened, and is about $30 more expensive than it should be. Real wine people know that there's much better values for wines that aren't made like Tropicana Orange Juice.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The votes say otherwise.
rhaizee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You just gave away youre also a craft beer snob
Waterknight94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you ever had Keystone?
brojangles ยท 445 points ยท Posted at 01:41:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He needs some pretentious terminology for it. Like he can say he's "sounding" the wine or listening for "the wash" or the "spatter" or some insufferable bullshit like that.
DausenWillis ยท 314 points ยท Posted at 01:52:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The action is "acoustical mirroring ", you have to have a proper parabolic base wine glass to truly "hear" what the wine has to say. Those colored psuedo-wine glasses from Ikea just wont do.
ratsta ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 02:04:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And those peasants who drink from a simple water tumbler... well, the less said about them the better.
DausenWillis ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 02:07:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of dear lord, the plastic bag in a cardboard served by a HDPE spigot! What has this world come to. It could only be so the cries of dispair are muffled.
ratsta ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:13:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the youtubers I follow does an occasional "white trash ____" segment. Most recently he did "white trash red wine" where he threw a shot of vodka into a glass of home brand cranberry juice :-)
DausenWillis ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:21:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can fake up a cranberry champagne cocktail with 4 ounces cranberry juice, 4 ounces of Canada Dry ginger ale (not Seagrams) and half a shot of vodka
kerune ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:31:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half a shot? The fuck is that bullshit.
DausenWillis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:34:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now if you shake 2 shots of wheat grass juice with 2 shots of vodka and crushed ice, strain and serve, it's health food.
kerune ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a diet I can get behind.
redditortoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:04:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a diet that can punish my behind.
FAPS_2MUCH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because its easier to convince you to do anal when youre drunk?
redditortoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see that u/. I'm not giving you any new material.
ratsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have to put on my flannelette shirt and try it some day!
DausenWillis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:58:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or try some double knit PolyYESterโขโฆ
ratsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too hot and sweaty!
NoviKey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Half a shot? Blin, my babushka can down more than half a shot of vodka.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds pretty good
UnicornSparkleBrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
half a shot of vodka? What are you, 4? For Future Reference All Drinks Require at least 6 shots of anything before it's any good, and even then it's still highly circumspect until it's been muddled with something, shaken, poured, and topped with a frothy head.
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A champagne cocktail is a drink for four year olds and Presbyterians.
UnicornSparkleBrony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:48:16 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what do the episcopalians drink?
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:38 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When they finally sober up, I'll ask.
Fr0gm4n ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:10:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, that tastes unfortunate. I suppose I'll just have to take it to bits."
Said Clive in my head.
ratsta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Represent!
iwhitt567 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a Cosmopolitan. It's like the least white trash cocktail there is.
ratsta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:34:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit! Can't even be white trash without being gentrified!
aerandir1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell, it's really cosmopolitan.
Spikex8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sounds better than any wine ive tasted
Dontwearthatsock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sshhhhh no more pain
Tarmorman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that standard is known in the industry as "cardbordeaux"
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:53:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goon bags actually, as it may be a surprise for most to hear, make an incredible sound. The key feature to look out for if you're ever caught in the native land of the Goon bag (down under) is the doppler effect as the hills hoist rotates swiftly.
themindlessone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's LDPE.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you may already have said too much, in fact.
You've ruined this whole batch of wine by mentioning them in its presence.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I drink my wine from an old plastic peanut butter jar with the label halfway peeled off.
ratsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno about other countries, but a few brands in Australia sell their peanut butter in a jar that can be cleaned up and used as a tumbler. I originally was going to say "drink from a peanut butter tumbler" but wasn't sure if non-Aussies would understand :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drinking out of mason jars is actually pretty dope cause they have lids so you can save your drink for later.
ratsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That could change the way I drink!
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:07:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it's to determine the real crystal from glass. If I can't produce a D# from a evenly filled glass, then I know the flute is not accenting the white properly.
Source: Professional Wino, Hobbyist Sommelier.
Funkit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The notes in the hyperbolic glasses are just too divergent.
Dr_WLIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You fuckin had me there for a line or two....
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a real acoustical mirror:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_mirror
The more you know...
Dr_WLIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I fell for your spiel. Lol learned about them several years ago bc I wanted to know why "spies" in non-spy movies always used those stupid black megaphone looking devices with the massive clear salad bowl to eavesdrop on targets.
natural_distortion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Maynard James Keenan
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a fan of Dobie Gillis, but I'm into Jazzin' Hell.
ReasonablyBadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Crystal or gtfo.
CatWithHands ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:11:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounding the wine... Oh my god.
CheeseWizzed ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:32:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's gonna sting a bit
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:50:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Metoray ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:46:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's keep that blue shall we?
barky_obama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By opening it in an incognito tab? Don't mind if I do.
MisterCheeks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SHUDDER
Tobikage1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My privates twinged.
DemeaningSarcasm ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:32:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Viscosity. Every liquid sounds different if you slosh it around in a glass. Molasses for instance, won't make a sound. While beer being carbonated and all, will. So if you applya consistent movement across all wines, you can tell something about the viscosity.
It's all up to personal preference usually. But the quieter the sound, the more sugar that's in it. Because grapes used in wines are pretty similar in concentration, you can basically figure which wines contain grapes that have a higher sugar content.
Waterknight94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:40:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually seems very believable.
suspendersarecool ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 02:59:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a head's up sounding is a slang term for inserting long thin objects into a urethra.
uiucengineer ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 03:27:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not slang at all, that's the real medical terminology. http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/sound
skushi08 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:09:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes...sounding, docking's medically rooted cousin. Just don't google "sound docking" to discover their incestuous bastard offspring. Whatever you do, especially do not google image search "sound docking porn".
Alnitak6x7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:04:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear
Dick stuck in ... other dick ๐
InShortSight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:55:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No that sounds about right.
l3rN ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:42:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure how to come to terms with what I just saw
morphineofmine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I bing image search it?
jsmit42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:07:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
maybe he only hangs out with doctors
TheVitoCorleone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was totally thinking this, except he is like a Nuerosurgeon and the thugs he knows who uses that term is like general practitioners or something...those thugs and their slang...tsk tsk
pfcgos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... I didn't need to know this. Thanks.
spunkychickpea ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:13:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with guy who I can only describe as...troubled. During my first week working with him, he showed me a photo on his phone of his girlfriend sticking a Phillips head screwdriver into his tiny penis. Either it was a short screwdriver, or he got it waaaaaay in there.
brojangles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why? Jesus Christ, why?
o0-0o ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:43:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Normally it's done for medical reasons but some people get off from doing it.
/r/sounding NSFW
K3R3G3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to warn people to not google image that term. Thinking about it makes me wince.
1N54N3M0D3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
/r/sounding /r/peehole
Obviously nsfw... Don't ask me why I know them... Or why they are purple. >_>
only_sometimes_haiku ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:22:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, when you don't know how to pronounce something, and someone tells you to "sound it out," they're saying "go fuck yourself in the dick, dumbass!"
JustSomeDudesAlt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That makes it better. Get the wine snobs to google it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or thick, depending on what you're into.
theCLEsteamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the more reason to use the term "sounding " in this situation
hilarymeggin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:41:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to "time" the cork at restaurants. He would hold it to his ear while looking at his watch and counting.
Grizzles_the_Hott ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The anthocyans provide a certain hum while tannins give the wine a much more balanced hearing-note
pm_me_ur_weird_pms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wash is another name for legs, as in how it runs down the side of the glass. Or some shit.
HKburner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's listening for fermentation
earlyworm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so wonderful.
mythriz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The spirits are speaking to me."
pokerkid89 ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 02:53:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Liam Neeson and Gordon Ramsay love child
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:32:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TimeTravelMishap ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No its clearly OP's brother. god people pay attention.
jlopez9090 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God person here, paying close attention
theozzfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:08:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm seein some Ricky Gervais in there
Arconyx ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 08:58:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I run a small business and every once in a while I'll get a really pretentious client that thinks they know more about my business than I do. I take those clients to a restaurant in Santa Monica called Real Food Daily, which is really pretentious in and of itself as well. But what I do is when I sit down I immediately dump the gomasio seasoning (basically sesame seeds and salt) into my water like it's exactly what you're supposed to do. Without fail, and without missing a beat, these clients gesture for me to hand them the shaker and fill their waters with it too. Then I sit and enjoy my lunch watching them drink salty, seeded water, never noticing I didn't drink mine.
Lupan88 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:52:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's fantastic :)
MisterDonkey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:52:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking amazing.
Blrfl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:06:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're doing God's work.
TheSecondof12 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:39:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful. Never knew it was that easy
gosutag ยท 383 points ยท Posted at 02:31:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is cute and I want to bang him.
Dr_WLIN ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 03:23:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Looks like Larry Bird and Gordon Ramsay did the DBZ Fusion Dance to make Lardon Birsay.
DroopyMcCool ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:00:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The trash talk from a Bird/Ramsay fusion would be the stuff of legends
emceelane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is shockingly accurate
Naelavok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking he looked more like this guy.
GregorF92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mix in a bit of Gavin Belson from Silicon Valley.
Dr_WLIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For sure. Definitely see it around the eyes and forehead.
thisonehereone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ramsay Bird! Bow to your new master!
dannielr ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 03:00:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To the top! OPs brother must know!
x_LoneWolf_x ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:44:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since this guy has quite a post history on r/GayDaddiespics OP's brother might wanna watch out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
fc59149f45
NoviKey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:54:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hey its me
SummerInPhilly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted to help them meet
Wjreky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I've been up voting almost everything above this as well because it's made me literally laugh out loud, how will it get to the top if everything else is so damn hilarious
Lobsterquadrille12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should also mention he's a dude.
MemRaven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:35:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I second this notion. I think we need further photographic evidence of his go-to move. Preferably without clothing.
RustyPeach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely thought the same thing.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 08:20:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ReVaas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:00:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Rekt
Donkey_Punch_You ยท 347 points ยท Posted at 01:55:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Wine Support, how can I help you?" Them: "this wine sucks" Me: "Have you listened to the wine?" Them: "SIR, I am NOT a wine person so I don't know." Me: "Have you swished it next to your ear?" Them: "SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A WINE PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP"
SymphonicStorm ยท 204 points ยท Posted at 02:12:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Please cork the bottle and uncork it again."
flapanther33781 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:48:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Notbob1234 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:22:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! It worked!
amakudaru ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, you need to let the bottle breathe.
busymakinstuff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:49:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol'd
mootpoint23 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:27:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I figured a day. Maybe two. It has been 6 ish hours?????
nw0428 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:48:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's everywhere!
blown-upp ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:38:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would you share a link so that my friend can enjoy this new maymay with us?
mootpoint23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see so much for checking tomorrow to see if it took off
Shazamo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whats the original?
qwertyisdead ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:34:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yay! I witnessed a meta thing happen right before my eyes....or ears.
PoopyParade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait what?
strumpster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It happened!!
ndstumme ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:15:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For anyone missing the reference (like myself who had to go searching).
malicious_banjo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:10:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is delightfully meta.
alonelygrapefruit ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:15:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love this meme so much
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is now a meme?
alonelygrapefruit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:51:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
a meme is pretty much just anything that people like to imitate and spread
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make it so
TaterSalad55 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:07:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/talesfromtechsupport is leaking
Im-Gonna_Wreck-It ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:15:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just a fresh pile of meta
thedoormanmusic32 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just witnessed my first meta event. Take my god damned upvote.
JamaicaNater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir do you have computer?"
"I need you download this app to fix your problem"
palindromic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You even got the terrible grammar in there.
Durzio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that this is a meme now
locke_door ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wonderful world you inhabit where angry customers get straight to the point and then hang up on you...
Ok, I just read the reference.
Psdjklgfuiob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
BattlefieldNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of Soup.
mastertwisted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Try one without a screw-top."
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:45:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have the time to listen to my wine
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:09:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Giorno Verde - 1994", excellent choice Signore.
gamer_dad_legacy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
About nothing and everything, all at once ?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:46:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct answer.
ivel501 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 07:38:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My go to trick is to take a sip of wine, let it roll around over my tongue and then with a furled brow I say.. "Do I detect.. grapes?" - and then watch people stare while not being sure what to say.
TexRipples ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:10:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Do the whole show and then, " Ah yes, I believe this is a red."
arafella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir this is dandelion wine."
TrendySpork ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:25:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a hostess at a small town restaurant that had the usual "house wine" on the menu. One day I seated an older couple and a lady that I assume was their adult daughter and took their drink orders. They all ordered the house red and a couple minutes later the daughter flagged me down. She went on and on about how she's traveled the world and had so many different wines, and how the wine I served her was the best she's had. She asked me who made it and I told her "Franzia, it comes from a box!" and gave her a big smile. She and her parents looked pretty embarrassed for some strange reason.
btribble ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:45:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Box wines are like McDonalds burgers. Sure you can get a much better burger, but you can also get a much worse burger and pay a lot more for it.
kernel_mustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. If I want a nice wine to go with something then I get it. If I just want a glass of wine in an evening, or a few drinks with a friend then boxed wine is perfectly acceptable. Some of it is actually surprisingly good.
I'm not always sure it's the same wine either. The Sainsburys (UK supermarket) own brand boxed Merlot is usually cheap tasting, but I have had one box that was amazing.
btribble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this: leave a glass of box wine and decent bottled wine in glasses on a counter and see how they both fair after an hour of oxidation.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't drink wine very often, but I find Franzia to be not too bad. If I like a flavor of wine, I'm like "Hey this is good! What is it" like a total unwashed heathen. I can feel the scorn in the eyes of some of the other patrons...
berniefantx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:20 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I, too, work at a small town (Irving, Texas) restaurant and get that question a lot. "ooooh this chianti is lovely. I've just come from California and this is incredible. What is it? How do you sell it so cheap? ($6/glass)" "Ma'am it's mezzacorona. We get it in half gallon jugs for the price of your glass."
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:57:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
oj81 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:59:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hang on. You can't stand wine but you've had bottles that were $2-3k each. Either you have far too much money or someone really really wants you to like wine.
__Jenchy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:17:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you know the best steak I had was a piece of flank steak and I've had A5 Kobe Strip Steak. I'll never understand the hype.
drgradus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:12:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A perfectly marinated rare flank steak is one of life's great pleasures.
IThoughtYoudBeBetter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most people have no idea
drgradus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When we have it together as friends for dinner we all stand around the counter as each piece gets cut and just grab pieces as they come. The flank steak never makes it to a plate.
IThoughtYoudBeBetter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is there any other way to do it? That's great stuff right there.
Urban_Savage ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 03:23:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Picture of guy listening to wine on the front page. Well done again reddit.
TheMellowestyellow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its better than the time we upvoted a rock. Or the time Dog shit made the front page...
DC_Gooner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have to admit, the amount of shitposts that routinely make the front page, are disappointing.
Erj2969 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a truly incredible shitpost
Against-The-Grain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
would you like some cheese with your whine?
MisterDonkey ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:49:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are some of the best comments I've ever read. Worth it.
spartanss300 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Cause what is context right?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Urban_Savage ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:39:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IMO a title should never justify the existence of a post. If you remove the title and what you have is content which is 100% arbitrary, not weird, not funny, not original, not anything other than a random image... than your post is worse than a shit post. It's a trick to get a random image upvoted to the top of a shitty sub on onto Reddit's front page with almost litterally no effort. That isn't a shit post, it's cancer. This is cancer.
SteamedCatfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You would love this sub.
homogenized ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is r/pics, not r/shittyjokeintitlewithplainpicture
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Strazdas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it now?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Strazdas1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Since when is this subreddit funny?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Strazdas1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No. I asked if it is funny.
dingofarmer2004 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:16:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As if the wine is whispering to him...
"Mmhmmm. Mhmm. Yes. The Pino Gris agrees, you're an idiot."
DammitCollins ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The wine has spoken to me in bittersweet whispers....."
"What does it say?"
"It says you're an asshole."
skinny-white-guy ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:12:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With the right ear you can hear the grapes screaming as you swirl them around your glass.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie this made me laugh
zoltarpanaflex ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:07:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite eye-rolling moment is when a pathetically wine-skill'd couple managed to offend an old-school wine expert at a San Francisco restaurant by snidely informing him he was using the wrong glass for the whatever-it-was and how were they supposed to experience the *fluff (I don't remember what they were attempting to savor, so..) without the proper glass? His response was to turn to us at the table opposite the wine-snots, roll his eyes in a masterful fashion, and walk away. The wine-snots opted to leave after we made a big show of the proper glass to sample our water from and the bouquet, air, and feel of said water. Never had they been so offended. Oh well.
McMew ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:27:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, basically, you did this?
zoltarpanaflex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:37:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might've
JimMcIngvale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Agua de culo" lmfao
Forthemarks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:12:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me this isn't a thing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:00:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
crow7109 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is Larry bird?
kowalabearhugs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wine crit from French Lick.
Dr_WLIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like the result if Larry Bird and Gordon Ramsay did the Fusion Dance from DBZ.
spockspeare ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:06:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You scoff, but a wine will resonate at a particular frequency depending on how the grapes were treated during juice extraction.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:06:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the snob
xampl9 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:41:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's a matter of the surface tension. The top layer of liquid acts like a diaphragm and reflects the ambient sound differently, depending on the terroir."
brendanmcguigan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:01:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The whole point of letting a wine breathe is to listen to its breathing pattern, which helps you determine its age and structure. So many people know you're supposed to let them breathe, but don't actually know why.
is_this_a_test ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer shallow and laboured.
You_Are_A_Ten ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:41:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Juicy-Juice tastes better than any wine ever made. Spread the word!
DausenWillis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:46:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try the Cherry, it's amazing.
You_Are_A_Ten ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually pick up a liter of fruit punch on my way home from work. Today though, I'll pick up cherry. Thanks!
btribble ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And at some point you'll stop believing that, and that too is ok.
Stonythepony42 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:09:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does he work with April Ludgate?
https://youtu.be/ZF_xg4QaLNE
Also Craig (Billy Eichner) is great
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:53:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think wine snobs were the worst even if craft beer hipsters tended to be more common in my area of NYC. Then I met my brother-in-law who is an enthusiastic expert on moonshine. Oh I'm sorry "home distilled". Now I know you can really be an expert on anything but when he's going on about notes and stuff I'm just desperately thinking "A what finish? Asshole we're drinking paint stripper, the only thing I 'feel' is blindness".
VoodooBrother ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought I was the only one who had a Friend like this.
ZealousGhost ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:39:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Minute vibrations at the molecular level due to variations in viscosity create a harmonic resonance that only the most skilled can hear. If impurities are present then it will disrupt the resonance and can be picked up by a trained ear which is more sensitive than the human taste bud.
Edit: This is probably not going to be seen by anyone so I might as well add this bonus gif. Credit to wavesonics
http://imgur.com/gallery/X6ZMEyk
Ozymandias-X ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:47:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wish I was drinking wine. I would go to one of those wine tastings and go out of my way to describe them in the most ridiculous fashion I could think of.
"Ah yes, this one tastes of cinnamon, with a light ruby undertaste. I especially enjoy the leathery aftereffect on the tongue that reminds me of summer 1998 at the Adria" and so an and so forth.
Right until the very last wine tasting, where I would go "Well, this one just tastes like shit."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may enjoy Richard E. Grant doing one of his wine tasting from the first episode of Posh Nosh.
growcho2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:32:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is when he must say as a toast, "Ears to you!"
aadharsh_2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:04:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm listening to the oscilations of the wine
zerbey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:55:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My cousin is a waiter in a fairly high end restaurant and deals with insufferable wine snobs on a daily basis. Definitely sending this to him.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing when people sell me weed.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:32:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DickZierecht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And remember...do this BEFORE applying your torch to the glass.
yiksing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:27:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen close enough you can hear the waves
Skeptic_moron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:11:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it is true a lot of pricks are into wine, but it is dismaying that the same is happening to beer.
RandyTomfoolery ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:15:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to scratch and sniff the label.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"hmmmm... Yes, this wine does sound about as pretentious as the twat who described it to me."
jpzee28 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother deserves a high 5 and a hug. I too am in the wine business and deal with at self proclaimed wine know it all people all the time
Ermcb70 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So there are sufferable wine snobs?
MickeyD71 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:34:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen close enough you can hear the grapes screaming
swb25mid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I hear a bit of oakiness with a ding of lemon."
someguy072 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SB6Lx3Bg2DQ
KnowMatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that was great, lost it at the sawdust part, hardest i've laughed in awhile.
Tonytarium ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:13:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Brush your pinky every so slightly with the surface of the Wine. Circle the edge of the glass so that it vibrates and produces a perfectly crafted melody, consisting of a single note. Then just, listen. You can almost drink in the resonance."
ciansmyth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:38:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm getting the faintest tingling of an audacious rendition of Darude-Sandstorm, I give this wine a dudu dudu duuuu out of 10"
neihuffda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:20:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When a wine sounds like Darude-Sandstorm, you know it's good.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/20/30/56/203056a54590e62bb3ac48704ce14d5a.jpg
MindJail ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:37:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm, has sort of an oaky afterbirth.
Wizchine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm. Tepid, yet flaccid.
Spalding_Smails ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't help but wonder if OP's brother saw the same Robin Williams special we did. Yours is the only comment so far to even touch on it. As big as Robin Williams is on this site I'm rather surprised at that. Then again, this is a fairly young crowd on average and that special originally aired around '82-'83.
joe_the_bartender ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:58:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You assholes ruined it by sending this to the front page. Now someone's gonna know when I pull this shit on them.
Ethancordn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:31:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know this'll get buried, but you can actually listen to the wine as a very rough indication of the absorbed CO2 (causing a very mild fizz to the wine). As for taste impact, typically whites will have a greater CO2 content, this gives the wine a 'crisper' mouthfeel and mellows out some of the harsher tart or sour notes, allowing a cleaner, brighter tasting drink. Sources: training in brewing & beer tasting, & 2 years working in the lab of a wine bottling plant.
bstampl1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:44:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know Larry Bird was into wine
pendrak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thought the same. Well, he used to get his drinks at French Liquor.
challenge4 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:20:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can hear the minerals in the soil this was grown on, fantastic."
Eustace_Savage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:13:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How in the fuck did this get to #1 on the front page
MaxwellFinium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:15:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit is circling the drain currently.
Lord_of_the_Dance ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:28:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was funny, and it is not a screen shot with superimposed text from a movie/game/show, it's not a meme, it's not a forced meme, imagining someone listening to wine to confuse people is funny
perpetuallytemporary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's funny?
Eustace_Savage ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then why did you postface a question mark? Haha. You don't seem sure.
perpetuallytemporary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a rhetorical device to express sarcasm, as if I'm just spit-balling possible explanations when it is clearly the truth. Btw, that's not how the word "postface" is used.
MisterDonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn, that's a nice burn.
Eustace_Savage ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:42 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks pointdexter. No one cares.
perpetuallytemporary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:57 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're welcome!
MontanaSD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is good but the mother of them all is switching expensive wine with boxed or 2 buck chuck. Watch them remark on the stunning bouqet of flavor and hints of aged Egyptian saffron and twice cured nutmeg dancing on their tongues.
Wine is up there with the bigger scams in food.
imnormal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh Reddit. you sound terribly foolish.
DickZierecht ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Same way with vodka. Kept an empty grey goose bottle from house warming gift. Fill it with Smirnoff at parties and watch the clowns brag about how grey goose is so smooth and clearly a better vodka.
Doctor_Dominiguez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"What was that,wine?Drink them all?Good idea!"
NyanDerp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I am snobby wine drinker... And THIS. Is my wine. It costs 400,000 dollars to drink this wine... For twelve seconds."
yashchand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MFW when the beer and liquor snobs are laughing with us like the pretentious part doesn't apply to them
sevargmas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The insufferable wine snobs are typically the ones hosting the tastings.
ReeceChops44 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to do this, but most wine snobs I've come across would seriously attempt to explain what I'm doing wrong and how to properly taste the wine. Now I'm starting to question whether or not this is real, because these kinds of people have no sense of humor.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine tasters are at the top of the pretentiousness pyramid.
kyranadept ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You need to experience the wine with all your senses"
Kezly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:33:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This vintage is in C# Minor
ve_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in good light i can distinguish between white and red!
captainkrinking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's listening to the notes
treble-n-bass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hear a hint of C# minor ... a splash of ocean waves and a nice Ab pentatonic finish.
RektByPatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to learn the reasoning he gives them as to why the acoustics of swirling wine are important.
xonkapoor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heard it through the grapevine
patrickmoloney ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:45:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mm it's a Chablis of course. I'm getting vanilla and just a threat of oyster shell, wood pigeon and pebbles in the rain.
oldforger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:49:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This could be used on beer as well.
http://viz.co.uk/category/cartoons/strip-cartoons/real-ale-twats/
Broprovideos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:32:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you hear the premium-ness of the grapes?
Wr0ngThread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
subscribed
Edit: Sorry guys, I got in the wrong thread
ColWalterKurtz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would be great if he could also start a trend to swish the wine around his mouth, then spit it right his buddies face. The wine snobs would be initially horrified. But when he mentions the "this wine has alot of body " they will totally understand and start spitting in eachother's face ...hopefully.
drumanddrummer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean if?? I would have thought that a given.
shockandale ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhh! It's breathing!
ludicrouscuriosity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can hear the French... yes... Sauvignon... 1962... small grapes thus concentrated flavour.... 'tu es un putain de merde'"
GILLYLUCY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The epitome of savoir faire. A man I'd like to have a glass of wine with.
NoPlayTime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:31:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds Grape.
HitsOn20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, listen to the screaming grapes of wrath...
villagezero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:30:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Palpable, viscous, and nutty, this method really helps in titilating my tendrils to get that 4K experience.
I think I taste pencil..
SuperMadCow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Bird
nbikkasa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My dad can actually hear pudding...
pbj986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that his pet name for you mom?
nbikkasa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well played...
stealth93rt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like he is going to yell at me, Gordon Ramsay's cousin?
Elbradamontes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My roommate in college bought a book on wine tasting. We really tried to get into it. Especially him. We had loads of fun but for the life of us couldn't figure that shit out. We tried each describing the wines like they did in the book. We weren't so good at it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL... reminds me of my BF. I don't know if he's fucking with me or not, but he insists that shoving his nose practically into the wine glass, then taking a huge swig and vigorously swishing it around your mouth is "the right" way to taste wine. Everytime he does it, I about die from laughter.
KinkyBurrito ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:12:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well technically that is one of the ways you're "meant" to do it, but you're also meant to spit it out and not swallow it when you're tasting wine. There's a difference between drinking and tasting wine though, no normal person drinks wine like that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL... Okay. I thought he was fucking with me, apparently he isn't. Although he is doing it wrong because that's how he drinks the first couple of sips. Lol
Bacon666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, that's pretty much how it's done.
mrgreaper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hearing peaches, apples and is that grape?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:02:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you're hearing "The California Raisins"
tallchineseguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This wine has an amazing reverb.
Moveover33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:07:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one has outstanding terroir but mediocre acoustics.
only1mrfstr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your brother is awesome and I like to believe he has inspired a whole bunch of people here who will now pull out this same move.
I can't stand wine snobs. They are the worst, most pretentious assholes. I had a curriculum that included wine studies and the teacher (certified sommelier) was this amazing dude who didn't give any fucks. He knew you could get a $4 bottle of wine that's amazing and a $100 bottle that was horrible... and the snobs will swear by the more expensive bottle because that's what they know.
jasper_grunion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They say 90% of taste is hearing
kelvinkkc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:30:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"All I can hear is wine."
DrDisastor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who tastes things hundreds if not thousands of times a week, I am stealing this.
teamfreddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can say the wine was made with free range grapes. If you listen closely they dont scream as loud as non free range grapes.
DrDisastor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I make flavor and the free range as well as other bullshit marketing ploys are regular jokes around these parts.
Ori15n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is the hero we need.
kevie3drinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is seeing someone smell a wine cork after a bottle has been open. They give you the cork so you can verify that the wine in the bottle matches the label, not to smell dummy!
anotherbeerguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smelling the cork let's you know if wine is "corked" (bad seal can deteriorate wine flavor)
bdubslc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:58:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, cork smells like cork and doesn't tell you if the wine is corked. Inspecting it to see if it has any flaws/is moldy will tell you more than smelling it. Smell the wine to see if it's corked.
kevie3drinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
right, and you can inspect the cork to see if it's been shoved back in there at some point, and also check to see that it has the vineyard label on it. You really don't need to do this if you trust that the place you are drinking the wine aren't scam artists, which in most cases, they aren't.
kevie3drinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:06:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
you would know right away if this happened by taking a sip of the wine. you can see if it's corked if the cork is deteriorated, but you can't smell it.
obesegiraffes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen closely, you'll hear the moan of a 90 year old man. That's how you know it's well aged
al57115 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:52:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He cheats in vollyball too! lolz
coltajerone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to really hear what the wine is telling you.
Snugglebum29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:21:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a wine snob. I pretty much drink all of it and congratulate myself on my thinly veiled alcoholism by saying "this is some fine wine!"
hercules25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a server and I did wine presentions some morons would sit and sniff the cork.
Sheogorath_gstj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:37:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mhmm... Mmmhh... Yup. This sounds like wine"
purplepippin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh this is BRILLIANT! love the idea that there may be dinner parties of pretentious arses all with wine glasses presses to their ears because they'd seen your brother do it at a tasting.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:23:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is adorable and I've got a huge crush on him.
gmikoner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:17 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the nuances of the acoustic vibrato hints of late spring
PatientKateW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:48 on January 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That guy fucks
Skip_Ransom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to how chill this wine is, take notes people.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
SweetJesusRyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A flat and G sharp are the same note though.... So you must be really good to pick those out.
Ludwig_Van_Gogh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The notes, in the order I listed, will spell out the answer to your dilemma.
SweetJesusRyan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's a F#AbG#?
Captain_Stairs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:16:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
From a distance, and the thumbnail size, I thought your brother was Gordon Ramsey.
Ramsey:"Do you hear that?" Other person:"No chef, what?" "IT'S THE SOUND OF BULL-SHIT!"
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:10:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:39:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/shitpost
TesticlesMcTitties ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:18:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A picture of a guy holding a wine glass to his ear. #1 on r/all. I can't even
CorpseZero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:16:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love it.
smash2494 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was hit in the head with a beer bottle one time. Confused the hell out of me.
goodfellaslxa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touring wineries in Napa, it was refreshing to hear the vintners candidly explain that presentation and marketing is what creates a lot of the value. There are $15 cabs I prefer over $150 Opus One. Big fan of silver oak though. A lot of it has to do with the distribution of taste buds on your tongue. If you like a $5 wine, go forth and be merry. Charles Shaw has won a lot of awards, and it's $2-3 bottle.
Warskull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think most wine enthusiast would agree with you. Nothing better than an amazing $5-$10 wine you can drink whenever you want.
Price is part marketing and part technique. Obviously aging in real oak costs more than aging in metal vats with oak chips. Wines from South America are cheaper than wines from France, mainly because labor in South America is a lot cheaper.
It is always been an issue with price in everything. The super expensive one could be something that is genuinely master-crafted. Or it could be someone trying to bullshit you into thinking it is something great, but really it is just cheap crap.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
good ol' Two Buck Chuck.
Scooba06 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:37:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I need to borrow that move for some beer snobs here in Grand Rapids, Michigan haha.
IOnlySayBoobies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Oh man, this reminds me of "Ditis Nepnaam".
He was a brewer that was fed up with people doing 'exclusive wine tastings' and thinking they're 'wine experts'.
When he was invited to a tasting he would also do stuff like this just to fuck with them.
"Sometimes there are even people who think they know 'why' and exactly know how I brew my wine... My wine is just for everyone to enjoy and in my opinion, everyone is a wine expert if they like it or not, they can taste the same as a rich guy that is inviting people to his mansion to feel important. Expect from the price, there isn't much difference between my $20 wine and $200 wine."
Sorry for my English it isn't my native language and I wrote his quote from memory.
AttalusPius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I normally just lie when I say lol but I literally laughed pretty hard at this
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Master Sommehear
ScarletNumbers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There is someone insufferable here, and it isn't the wine snobs
Talbertross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no, it definitely is.
hymb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the evaporation rate to the alcohol changes the pressure of the microenvironment within the glass which can be felt IF you have a tra/jed, sensitive ear. Obviously these grapes were grown too close to an asphalt road which causes them to have a cruder alcohol content.
ClockworkAeroplane ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:50:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who was a sommelier in LA who did wine-tasting events for rich people (movie stars, etc.). These were largely educational functions, really.
He always liked to put a very good $20 bottle in there with the $200 ones, and watch everyone gush over it.
His advice was always, "Of course a $200 bottle of wine is going to be good; that's the only way you get away with charging that. But that doesn't mean than a $20 is bad; it's just that you have to look harder."
My parents always have great wine at the house. His recommendations.
BeerPowered ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:40:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine is cheap to make, why would anyone pay more than $20 for a bottle anyway?
WV_Raider304 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:39:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can actually hear the bullshit.
nurb101 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:54:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There've been less snobs thankfully, ever since the double-blind taste testing proved that even experts can't tell the difference between cheap and expensive wine.
cesarjulius ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:02:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
experts absolutely can.
"experts" can't.
TheSourTruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's more that price doesn't mean a wine is good or bad
cesarjulius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is very true.
stormfield ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not even the real ones.
Chief_H ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you actually look into the studies, not the articles reporting them, its pretty clear some of the conclusions being made don't really fit the experiment. For example, I've seen plenty of articles bringing up Brochet's study on blind tasting between a red and white wine and claim experts can't tell the difference between red and white wine. In reality, those "experts" were mere wine students, and never concluded which wines were red or white. Instead they used tasting notes that are commonly associated with red or white wines when in reality both wines were white. However, by coloring the wines, he's already altered the tasters perception of the wine and they end up comparing it to flavors they are most familiar with for those wine styles. Also, the wine used in the study was Chardonnay, which often can be full-bodied, undergone secondary fermentation, and oaked, making it much more similar in flavor profile to a red wine. Had they used Riesling, or even Sauvignon Blanc, almost no one would have used red wine tasting notes.
uiucengineer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who ever claimed that wine tasting was science?
Anyway, the article doesn't even support what you seem to be implying. Apparently some experts can consistently score a wine with a repeatability of +/- 2 points. I'd say those people are the "real experts" and they can certainly tell crap from good.
I don't care about state fair judges--I want to see a study done on the master somms. Only then will you know if it is bunk or not.
nurb101 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:51:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like bias and some "no true scotsman" thrown in.
uiucengineer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain--and yes, I know what "no true Scotsman" means.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you link The Guardian. try and find a better source please.
cesarjulius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is not accurate. i've seen it firsthand many times. my family lives the wine business since well before i was born.
Chief_H ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You most certainly can tell the difference between a cheap and expensive wine, just most people don't know what to look for. If I go to a diner for a hamburger versus going to a 5 star restaurant for one, its pretty obvious which one is better. That doesn't necessarily mean that diner can't produce comparable food, or the that the 5 star restaurant will consistently produce amazing food, in general the expensive restaurant will win out. There's a lot of things a winery can do to improve quality, however that increases the total cost of the wine in order for them to make a profit. Cheaps wines often cut a lot of corners and willingly sacrifice quality to produce larger quantities at a lower expense.
Along with that, peoples taste preferences change daily, and can even change when presented with other options. Wine competitions are notoriously inconsistent, but I'd still argue expensive wines tend to trend higher in quality than cheap wines.
rayzorium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're either BSing or remembering the details very incorrectly.
DellFargus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:18:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is Gordon Ramsay?
RadleyCunningham ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:17:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your brother looks like he could be Jorah Mormont's cousin.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:20:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and my brother has an equally good chance of railing Khaleesi.
ParadoxPixie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by some of these comments, he can settle for some female redditors.
anothercarguy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:54:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I want to clarify: There is a big difference between a wine enthusiast, possibly a sommelier and an annoying wine snob. One is educated either formally or as a hobbyist, the other is just an asshole. Possibly an educated asshole (ahem dad) but still an asshole.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:41:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You listed an alcoholic, salesman, and asshole, respectively.
anothercarguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't sell wine, I am just a hobbyist / enthusiast, I would like to get my level 1 sommelier when I turn 40 just because. Many of the doctors I know are the same
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor, reread what I wrote and then get the joke.
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he'd have gotten the joke if it wasn't in russian...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ะััะผะพ ะบ ัะธะฑะธััะบะพะผ ะัะปะฐะณะต ั ะฒะฐะผะธ .
superdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! It's called a "smorgasvine" and it's elegantly cultural!
FinalMantasyX ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:10:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sommeliers are also insufferable snobs who would fail a taste test 5 ways to sunday (that is probably not the phrase but it sounds like what I mean to say).
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're both just as bad and trying to look more sophisticated than they are. Wine tasting has been proven time and time again to be a sham.
anothercarguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a complete sham, no it isn't. I run a test kitchen, I see tasting stats daily. I can tell you that the difference between a 90 pointer and a 98 pointer is order and preference. That's it. There is no point other than historical significance for paying $400 for a 98 pt wine. It is worth it to shell out $20 for a 90 pointer however. The difference between nearly every judge giving it a 9.5 and a few giving a low score is a crap shoot on your and your guests' taste buds. Not everyone picks up an off. Those that do are punished by it. 90 pointers rarely have that.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Considering even the most trained wine tasters were thrown off by red food dye in white wine, it's pretty safe to say 99% of it is a sham and the other 1% is cognitive bias.
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
100% of that test would be cognitive bias though... "here taste this red wine, now tell me what wine that was"
MacaroniShits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:42:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's more like "This wine is red, therefor it is red wine with these red wine characteristics I'm pulling from my ass", despite the fact it's a white wine, the same white wine they tasted already and described completely differently. This is a test that has been done.
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doesn't change the impact of priming with the red visual stimuli.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:40 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It changed the outcome of the test completely, proving that it's a sham.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:41:41 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Priming is an interesting factor in psychology, but perhaps the most important real world application is in law and order, where the way witness questioning takes place can lead a witness into making potentially erroneous statements.
You mention something in passing and it plants that idea in the head of the witness. Testimonies where the witness was primed to say or agree with something can be thrown out of the court, because the power of suggestion casts doubt on the situation.
Similarly your proposed "proof", as you have explained it at least, is unreliable due to the design of the test leading the participant on.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:02 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for proving my "proof" to be correct for me. The point is that professional wine tasters given two glasses of the same exact white wine from the same exact bottle, only with red food dye added to one glass, described the taste of the two glasses completely differently. This proves that they don't have any idea what they're talking about and that wine tasting is a sham.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:09 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for disregarding my entire comment and then restating your flawed opinion with no signs of reinterpretation. It was truly an enlightening experience interacting with you.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:14 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing about my opinion is flawed, especially just because you disagree with it. Sorry, but the facts are on my side.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:07:29 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your opinion is flawed because the experiment involved a priming stimulus that intentionally pushed for a certain result. It would not stand up in a scientific journal, nor in a court of law, and so I'm sorry but the facts are not on your side.
And also, in case you were under some illusion of my opinion, I think wine tasting is a lark, a waste of time unless like most hobbies; musicianship, carpentry, painting, you personally find joy in it.
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:48:29 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Sorry, but the facts are on my side. Allow me to break this down into simple terms for you, since you're having trouble:
ASSERTION: Wine tasting is a sham. "Wine tasters" cannot actually discern the differences they're asserting.
TEST: Present two glasses of the same exact white wine from the same bottle. Dye one glass of white wine with flavorless red food dye, making the white wine look like a red wine while still being the exact same white wine as the first glass.
RESULT: Professional wine tasters identify white wine characteristics from the untouched glass of white wine, as to be expected. They identify red wine characteristics in the white wine containing flavorless red food dye, not the same characteristics of the identical glass they just tasted.
CONCLUSION: As these professional wine tasters have clearly been caught in the trap, this proves that they are making up these characteristics of taste and aroma based solely on culture and expectation, not on the intended characteristics themselves. In other words, it's a sham, end of discussion.
(PS: I don't give a flying fuck about your hobbies. They have nothing at all to do with this.)
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:16:42 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This seems to be your issue. You're not looking at it like the opposite is a possibility. You're asserting your opinion as if it is factual, and then using entrapment as your evidence. That's not how science works, that's not how law works, and you are supplying no reasoning for why we apparantly should not follow those professional examples.
Here's a quick definition of entrapment by the way:
End of discussion. Because you apparantly don't want to have the discussion.
End of discussion. Because you apparantly don't want to have the discussion.
End of discussion. Because you apparantly don't want to have the discussion.
Those last three lines read like your last three comments. The same fucking words repeated verbatim.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:43 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for that definition. I don't think you realize that this has nothing to do with criminal law or law enforcement agents, though, so again you prove you have no idea what you're talking about.
I have provided sound logic and tests to back up my point. You've done nothing but present a paper-thin (and I hesitate to even call it this, but) counter argument, which I then thoroughly disproved, only for you to repeat it as if it will magically be un-refuted. There's no discussion to be had here, unless you're trying to argue objective facts, in which case you're a fool.
Come back when you have a valid argument. Until then, you lost this one, so cut your losses.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:21:12 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My point remains. Entrapment is not valid evidence.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:00 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No no, I said "come back when you have a valid argument", not "come back and repeat the argument I already disproved".
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:31:32 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
End of discussion. Because you apparantly don't want to have the discussion.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:45 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Again, come back when you have a valid argument.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:18:18 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
End of discussion. Because you apparantly don't want to have the discussion.
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:26:53 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You can keep repeating that like a fool all you want, but that's not a valid argument. An valid argument is what I presented: a stance with logic and facts to support it.
Let's see your valid argument. I'm waiting.
PS: Oh, and, just so you know, spamming is a violation of Reddit site-wide policy, so if your next post isn't joining in the discussion you've been invited to several times, I will be contacting the admins. If you don't want to participate, I suggest you stop posting.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:43:00 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Logic and facts that the US legal system would throw out are logic and facts that I'm not fussed to throw out.
And my only argument is that yours is flawed.
My evidence: The prominent use of entrapment invalidates the accuracy of the experimental results. Inaccurate experiments cannot logically support facts. One should not claim objectivity with only one objectively flawed experiment as evidence.
But of course you apparantly don't want to have a proper discussion.
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:58 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
The point of the experiment was to prove that wine tasters are making it up as they go. They tested this by dying an identical glass of white wine red. This is not entrapment, it's a controlled experiment, and is a perfectly acceptable and logical scientific test.
They proved that, when tasting a white wine, the professionals described a white wine with red wine characteristics. If they really weren't making it up, they would have quickly identified white wine tastes, but they didn't.
Let's make this simpler for you, though, since you're having so much trouble understanding such a simple experiment: You have two glasses you've been told are the same cherry Kool-Aid. Glass one has a delicious cherry flavored powdered drink, full of sugar and artificial flavors. The second glass, which you've been told is the same Kool-Aid, is just tap water with flavorless red food dye. You drink both glasses and claim they're both sugary and full of refreshing cherry flavor. Since one is, in fact, not, you're clearly full of shit.
Now, for about the third or fourth time I've trounced your flimsy "entrapment" argument, so we're retiring that one. Your next post will either be a new argument, you admitting you're wrong, or no post at all. Think carefully, as I have a report ticket waiting for me to hit "submit".
InShortSight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:04 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All the experiment proved in my eyes is that a red visual stimulus induced the taster to look for red traits. I don't know much about wine tasting specifically, but I do know that when identifying anything we will tend to use all of the senses available to us, and that there's probably a good reason for the phrase "a blind taste test". The visual stimuli apparantly changed the result, I personally believe this to be due to the priming effect;"monkey see red wine, monkey think red wine", but regardless the result does not in any way disprove the fact that we can sense, especially if trained, all sorts of incredibly succinct differences.
Think openly; can you taste the difference between pepsi and coke? some people claim that they can. Can you taste the difference between two different wines? Some people claim that they can. Now you clearly believe that it's possible to taste the difference between cool-aid and tap water dyed red, so how is it so inconceivable in your eyes that the same could be possible at a higher level of complexity?
And now that I've argued in multiple dimensions, can I expect the same courtesy from my compatriot?
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:08 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S. THE. SAME. WINE.
Are you seriously missing the point this much? Yes, I can taste the difference between Pepsi and Coke. That has nothing to do with it. Those are two different liquids with two different flavors. We're talking about TWO IDENTICAL GLASSES OF THE SAME WINE THAT PROFESSIONAL TASTERS ERRONEOUSLY DESCRIBED AS TWO DIFFERENT WINES.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:15:16 on August 6, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except one of them was red.
Get your story straight Fred.
Has a variation of the same test taken place where the participants were blind folded? They wouldn't see the red stimulus so it would lead to a more vibrant understanding of the phenomenon. Has a variation taken place where the participants were blindfolded and only told that one wine was red?
Your proposed evidence IS NOT RIGOROUS, and I feel you have become illogically blinded by your disdain for a simple hobby.
Do you also disbelieve that skilled musicians can tell a minute difference in the tuning of their instrument? It's the same instrument after all?
Feel free to repeat yourself once more though, if you would like.
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:38:38 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're asserting color is a stronger sense than taste and scent? You're saying if someone handed you a piece of dog shit and told you it was chocolate, you'd be totally fooled and it'd be justified? Sorry, but your stance is just absurd and completely incorrect. Try again.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:10:22 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you're not going to offer any other argument? You're presumably using your eye's to read this and yet are unable to realise that people use their primary senses, for most people the primary sense, to huh, categorize wine?
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:00:13 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Answer the question: are you under the impression sight is a more powerful sense than scent and taste when it comes to food?
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:57 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am under the impression sight has an influence on the sensations of food and drink. Evidence supporting my belief, is of course the blind taste test.
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:58 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not what a "blind taste test" is. That just refers to the person not being told which is which. Either way, when it comes to food and drink, sight is a MUCH weaker sensory than taste and scent. The red-dyed wine tasted nothing like a red wine. The only reason they said it was a red wine was because, as I've proven, they were making it up as they went.
I'll give you one last chance to offer a real argument, otherwise I'm going to have to claim this one.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:07:27 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I've made several arguments, and you've made one, but you feel happy asking for more arguments from me?
How about this.
Can you taste the difference between red and white wine yourself? Yes or no?
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:00 on August 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I can. Also, I've only made one argument because it's the objectively correct argument. So, again, you have one last chance.
InShortSight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:26:06 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop using that word objective.
You can taste the difference between red and white wine and yet you don't believe there was anything iffy about an experiment where supposed experts had trouble with a similar task?
MacaroniShits ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:27 on August 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, I don't.
Anyways, I've been extremely generous in giving you opportunities to make a valid argument, and it's very clear by this point that you have no intention of doing so.
Better luck next time, but this one goes to me. Go ahead and have the last word, as I know your kind needs it. I won't be reading it and I highly doubt anyone else will, either.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's been shown repeatedly that blind tasting contests are won virtually at random. The most "educated" wine tasters repeatedly fail to judge wines consistently.
It might not be a complete sham (if you stretch the meaning of the word "sham"), but it's basically a discredited industry. Sommeliers are the to wines what alternative medicine doctors are to homeopathy.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blind_wine_tasting
account_anonymous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna start doing this with my bag wine too.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:53:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this funny?
horseonyou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:07:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, the joke's not for everyone; it's really only funny if you are an adult who has been around people pretending to taste and smell characteristics of a fine wine that they really can't detect at all, and also, perhaps most importantly, you have to not have autism in order to understand why normal people find it amusing.
invent_or_die ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My autism allows me to hear fragrant emotional notes the others have never heard
horseonyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best kind of autism!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Too many commas and punctuation marks in your run-on sentence. Maybe the autism is you?
horseonyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was perfect. So much LOL. Thank you for that.
WorldstarSmoothJazz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he is carefully listening to his wine instead of sniffing and tasting it. Wine doesn't actually make noise, you see. Hope that helps.
Scapular_of_ears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't.
Wb14245 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
reddit makes fun of 9gag but here's a picture of someone with a wineglass next to their ear on the frontpage.
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:23:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With context, the picture is funny. What does 9gag even have to do with anything?
lulsitsGriffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IDK. Maybe 9gaggers aren't capable of reading anything that isn't part of the picture?
registered2LOLatU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is literally a picture of a guy with a wine glass by his ear.
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes...but the context makes it funny. The picture alone wouldn't be that funny.
xRingo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:21:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But the context looks made up. There is not even a wine snob anywhere. And who wears a plain t shirt to these things. Looks like op just behind a white wall.
IntrinsicSurgeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, I just don't assume context for silly pictures to be made up. The Internet is a lot more interesting without cynicism over every little thing.
mikepictor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he's not at a wine show in that picture, he's just showing his technique for confusing wine snobs.
Bloody hell, just downvote and move on if you must. It's just a little moment to make some people smirk.
HugeCrab ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:31:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you joking? There are a lot of wine snobs, just not at mcdonalds
motion_lotion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, context is a pretty big deal -- who would've known?
nerbovig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that every time with sparkling wine :(
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, I'm curious...
If you are in the wine business, unless it's production, aren't most people wine snobs? Seems like it would come with the work.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...while you, at the same time, find wine below par.
Seems like a massive paradox.
MugillacuttyHOF37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If picked before completely ripened you'll hear the distant whimpering of the grapes as demonstrated.
kodack10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The inner ear connects to the throat via the eustacian tube and it acts like a fine filter letting only the top notes through the membrane like a biological filter. How far they make it down the tube denotes alcohol density and how fine the particles are. The wine he is testing has obviously had too much secondary malo-lactic fermentation and it sounds like shit.
Charcoalsheep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This gris has distinct sounds of a mothers kiss on a warm sunny day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good. I'm in the wine and craft beer business as well and this is what makes it comical.
I had a middle-aged lady judge me on how I was tasting wine at a meeting and it went like this:
Lady: "You shouldn't use you're finger to look at the density of the wine, who taught you that method?"
Me: "uh, (master sommelier)"
Lady: "No way! She taught my class and never told me about that."
Just taste the wine and make your own assumptions
chonil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As if the wine is whispering to him... "Mmhmmm. Mhmm. Yes. The Pino Gris agrees, you're an idiot."
adsbintuan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be more bullshit, try "listening for an echo", explaining that only bad wines will produce an echo.
FuckManUnited ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Subtle sounds of go fuck yourself, with a hint of get a life.
apokalypse124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:07:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If Louis ck and Ricky gervais had a baby
thenoikz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All this wine nonsense! You get all these wine people, donโt you? Wine this, wine that. Letโs have a bit of red, letโs have a bit of white. Ooh, thatโs a snazzy bouquet. Oh, this smells of, I donโt know, basil. Sometimes you just want to say, sod all this wine, just give me a pint ofโฆ mineral water.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I thought your brother's go-to move was to stare at them while looking eerily similar to Gordon Ramsay.
Hell_Tutor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CAN YOU HEAR THAT SMELL?
IT SINGS TO ME!
WHAT IS IT?
ITSTHEBLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
QuiGonGingerAle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is Larry Bird?
Flameboy1328 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:03:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Extra points if you applya consistent movement across all wines, you can hear the arnim sauvignon rouge, wonderful tenor notes.
zeptimius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:07:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should explain that all wines are actually bubbly wines ("as lay people would call them"), it's just that for most of them you can't see the bubbles, only hear them if you listen very carefully. Listening helps you "assess the evaporation rate". Listen intently for at least a minute, then say, "this one is silent, it's already gone flat" and throw it in the sink.
Ali_Safdari ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:07:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in a Muslim family. Dafuq is going on in here?
ELI5, please?
consort_oflady_vader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:19:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine snobs are fun to troll. Basically, he just tries to stump the wine snobs by doing something random, and they probably will try and copy him, and look just as dumb.
TallestGargoyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This seems appropriate.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We hosted a French exchange student this year. His father runs a vineyard.
In our local upscale wine shop he found his dad's label. $103 a bottle.
How much does his dad charge at his store front? 18 euro.
jonlin1000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shipping may be rather expensive
but yeah, that markup though
LDLover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine snobs are the worst kind of people.
BertJPDXBKLN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:40:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should also dip his finger into the wine and then gently rub his thumb and finger together to check the viscosity and granularity. Must use all 5 senses to properly assess a wine!
fuadmins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Full bodied. Rich. Delightfully symphonic. Good wine.
Phallicmallet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know why W.S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his transatlantic crossings?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Phallicmallet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now that I've got you, let's both revisit the birth of the Doiley Cott Opera Company
Muhon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/sJqRtiD.jpg
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:20:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who judges wine by how fast it gets me drunk while still being tasty, I love your bro.
Fuck wine snobs. I don't care if you can taste the 100 year cherry oak. It's dry and I don't like it.
plutoforprez ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give me a $5 bottle of moscato that looks classy (classier than shots, I guess, and slightly tastier) to actually getting me shitfaced any day, over a $37 bottle of red that needs to air for half an hour so the tannins settle.
Lord_of_the_Realm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:39:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, what are you do-"
"Shhh. I'm trying to listen."
"Does he do this often?"
"You don't?"
ajohns95616 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Look, do you make the wine, or do I?"
ninerecho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair play to take the piss out of pretentious oenophiles, but: this is actually a thing. Some bacterias working on Wine or Cider actually make a sound as they colonize the batch.
gallego22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's just listening for the wine a grape gives out when squished
herpesmyderpes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds good to me.
LordWiltshire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing I'm going to be doing from now on
Rhawk187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On Gallifrey it's tradition to listen to a drink before you taste it.
sweetjPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother single?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:11:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is now, we used to be conjoined.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ooh, clever.
sweetjPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, I see. You were conjoined at the ear, which gives him his special powers.
Rekktal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GTFO.
Nateyatusabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is the name of his wine? I think I saw him at a liquor store once?
Twoleggedzoo89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen closely you can hear the frequencies of fermentation and judge the age and flavor profile
BANGPOWZZZWAP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is how I test if my soda can is fresh
CranialFlatulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP, please follow him to a tasting and see how many others you can video or photograph copying your brother's moves.
grape_jelly_sammich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
enjoy nose fucking your whiskey.
couchtimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How about Vodka?
darkage_raven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can hear the viscosity of the wine.
metaltrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
can you hear those fine tannins?
PM-ME-YOUR-CRAG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to listen to the viscosity, you can only really tell so much about the whole body by looking at the legs you know.
_AlreadyTaken_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, I can hear the ocean. A 72 beach.
get10net ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All that whining must really get old.
Maeraxya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to hear those notes playing in that deep caramel undertone.
Devanismyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey reddit, has anyone ever done this to you while you drink your craft beer?
devilabit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give your brother two more. When a Guinness is pulled you can do two tests to see how good the stout will be.
One - tap it with a coin on the side of the glass as the head settles, wait and tap it again, roughly a minute apart. Did you notice the sound change from flat to sharp, that's a good sign, means the pint was well poured and settled well.
Two. Get a match stick and stand it in the head of the pint after it settles, much like a flag pole. If the stick stays standing without leaning, that's a well poured pint, if it leans , not good.
Tell you're brother to try both and see what happens , especially the match stick, if he can pull that off with a straight face , he's a better man than me.
Note: those Guinness tests were told to me as serious ways to test it. Personally I look at how the glass gets marked by the head of the pint, as I drink it.
cjorgensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who drinks a white in that kind of glass?
DUBBZZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This wine insists upon itself.
goody_71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally stealing this bit.
ciudad_gris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And then there's me, drinking wine from a plastic bag and a straw.
kingbin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heard it on the Grapevine
worktogether ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother has a drinking problem
Similar to Ted Striker's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl4plPGRG8o
CaptainPaintball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to flick the glass with your finger, to see what kind of tone it makes. He's doing it all wrong...
arnar202 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SOMEONE PUT HIM IN A LOONEY BIN
HratioRastapopulous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Odd, I would've thought draining a 3 from downtown would've been more impressive.
badmonkeysbum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can only imagine that he flicks the glass first with his finger to only listen to the vibration of the wine
a7xrob87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the wine business also. Stealing this one for sure.
VladimirPocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Floral notes, aura of overbearing pretentiousness with a strong hint of dulcet tones
not-a-f-given ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, it loosens up the ear wax real nice!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother, Larry Bird?
_i_am_a_human_being_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have a wine tasting coming up at work later this week. We're trying 20 new wines we're getting. I'm doing this.
DMK5506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't you smell the cork? Swirl it around the glass? What about the legs?"
Was_going_2_say_that ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Distributor? Producer? Shipper?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Producer, Sales manager.
TheoreticalFunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to start using this at beer bars.
steakandbacondude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!
Samuelgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"you hint a note of earth tones? sounds like an A flat to me"
s40970 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Drink it through a crazy straw next time and tell them it's the new method of getting the full flavor of the wine.
LittleBoo94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Post
Underwater_Karma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, he tries to out-snob them?
ShadySingh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Picture of a man holding a glass to his ear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The timbre of this chardonnay is amazingly complex.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm way late but I was on vacation at a resort in the Dominican Republic and the guy next to us did this at breakfast. Yes breakfast... and he was alone at his table.
the_far_yard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It seems like, something is wine-ing.
yooston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm at a restaurant I like to swirl the wine around for a good bit and take a sip while the waiter waits for me to give the OK... Then I look at them deadpan and say "yep... It's definitely wine"
madeInNY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who's the snob?
NYCO23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And just the tiniest little hint of a nutty Edam cheese
RebelWithoutAClue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to sniff my armpit every now and then. If anyone asks I quickly sniff the air from their direction and reply that I am checking to see if a note I am detecting is actually emanating from myself and not a feature of the wine:
"It's a taking things a bit too far, but I can't help it. I have a background in organic analysis. I got used to checking for my background levels to better account for my sample results."
Anyways, I find that certain appelations go better with certain company.
francis1128 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hilarious
AlexJohnsonSays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here I am under the legal drinking age wondering what all the hype is about
Kaykilla247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol me at wine tastings: "Try some of our gold medal Niagara" "Mm. Wine is good." "Try some of our concord" "Mm. Wine is good" Wine is good. (:
joh2141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can really hear all the tannins in this one. Mmm
Spartan8907 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see he went to the Kel Mitchell School for the Culinary Arts.
Here we see an example of what you may learn at this fine institution.
USBrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear Rick Astley playing.
notsomuchreally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The long faded screams of baby grapes.
taco_maco_taco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, pouring wine on your head is pretty confusing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so he is too good for the customers that provide his lifestyle
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so he is too good for the customers that provide his lifestyle
suspended-account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
will it work if I just slap the goon and listen for the sound?
VOIDsama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and thus it begins from this one picture. 10 years from now all the sommoliers of the world will be doing this and comparing the sound of fizz to different birds and such, with specific tones being equated with good wines. they will perpetuate this knowing in their hearts that its BS, but thinking that they need to say something about it or look like a lesser uneducated wine snob for not doing it.
Stardustchaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"See, if you check the harmonics of a white at a certain level in a crystal wine class (Chardonnay design only) you can tell if the wine has been chilled to the proper temperature and you can continue the tasting. It similar to the people who used to appear on Johnny Carson to play various tones on water glasses- the same principle."
kenzettles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:26:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think adding a "how can I put this in terms you'll understand" in there would really drive home the wine snob bit
RedSquirrelFtw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need to use some kind of specialized metal rod to slightly tap the glass. You tell them this metal rod is calibrated to match the resonant frequency of the glass and helps detect features of the wine such as the alcohol content and age. Bonus points for having a microphone near it connected to an oscilloscope. "See that, it means the wine is not quite aged yet, but it's still good, now watch this more expensive wine, the sine wave will be much smoother and consistent".
BritasticUK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listening to the wine, that's brilliant.
brokenearth03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Real wine enthusiasts use all their senses.
CleverGirlwithadd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If this becomes a thing in the wine community, I'm gonna laugh my ass off.
richardec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Swishy with hints of fermented microflatulence.
SiegfriedKircheis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A man needs eyebrows.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you guys hear the tangerine on the 3rd level?
badtradesguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you hear that?
AuburnGrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
love him...
the_other_pink_meat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He can hear the screaming of the grapes as they were crushed underfoot.
Pickled_Ramaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to try this on my Dad just for fun. He is not much of snob...but confusing him sounds great.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Insufferable wine snobs, you say? I hear you.
Kizubot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least nobody is "wine"ing, yes?
elushinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like to rub the bleeding end of the cork on mah lips
jah138 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a beer geek, or like to think I'm not an alcoholic. I like to think I can tell the difference between Citra or Mosaic or Cascade hops and like to guess the grains. Do beer snobs get the same shade as insufferable wine snobs?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
foxfire1112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
only if they insist most beers are shit
lsspam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
Scapular_of_ears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In default subs like /r/funny, they do.
Bob2567 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The brow gives him an instant Gordon Ramsey "no-bullshit" feel
bigchipshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"A light hearted wine with a morose attitude. Subtle, yet annoying."
petergee208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome lol
aDeadSoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just tell them that Baby Duck is my favourite wine.
ambivalentis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bookmarked.
OrangeMeppsNumber5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife is really into wine, and this is my go-to move. It's extremely effective for determining if we're gonna have sex on a given night.
Highly_Tingled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh...
Drakeytown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think we can all agree all wine tastes the same, and anybody who spends more than $5 on a bottle is an idiot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please photograph all Redgren Grumbles that just play along, and post them for my enjoyment. Blur the faces if you insist on being ethical.
morphiotic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here is an upvote for your brother trolling snobs
dontgive_afuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude, you don't know why a Pinot ain't red??" What?? Come on! They're fermented with th skin off, duh!"
GoodMerlinpeen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk2Ygypvuks&feature=youtu.be&t=187
H_v_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can he hear drunk calling?
Danizdaman0506 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great now all the wine snobs will know about this
fvertk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks as if he's had some of that wine already based off his glow...
TheRealBubby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk to me goose.
uniformfoxtrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This cab has full bass tone giving it a lower pressure altitude fermentation
H_v_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can can hear the drunk calling me
MistakesTasteGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that confusing. I hear wines all the time, especially on Reddit.
Nessie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Precocious, with firm tannins and a hint of earwax
MYthology951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The lighter blue around his pupils make his eyes looks very intense and pretty.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:41:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He has our fathers eyes. He keeps them in a box under his bed.
bradggel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was 'White Snobs'
Kiefer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I heard they recently added more hops
NCISAgentGibbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps he is just mindfully drinking his wine which would include listening to it.
Colonelfudgenustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ricky Gervais should play him in the movie adaptation.
Jandklo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother Larry Bird?
McPorkums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I find the red pairs nicely with the white" -Bob Belcher
shootdrawwrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus lord. My FIL always accepts the request to taste the wine when we order a bottle. First move is always to hold it up to the dim ass, yellow light to check the color. So much cringe. Will be introducing him to this new technique.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing worse than a wine snob is the person trying not to pretend they are a wine snob.
Sirmaksalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
His facial expression seals the deal. He really does look like he's "listening" for something. I'll stick to beer, never heard of "Genny Cream Ale Snobs"
DraslinHDF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is Larry Bird?
jeb-714145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently the Acts of Union 1800 never happened.
BAXterBEDford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He needs to give the glass a little tap with his nail, sort of like a sonar 'ping'.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, no mate. I'm Australian.
showmeyour0face ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother the guy that walked across the grand canyon on a tightrope? Nik Wallenda https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nik_Wallenda
otto3210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WAT
Belittles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/HLqSAOK.jpg
stalkingbutler_6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maynard?!?
Fellhuhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried how it tickles your foot soles?
WeeJockPooPongMcPlop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't Rowan Atkinson do this in character as Mr. Bean?
RancidLemons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sommelear.
JVZOOProduct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's great.
pandoraseaters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Late in the game here.. Apologizes if it has been suggested...switch boxed wine into the bottles of wine..
reaper115049 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
Mbritt1232 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Krillin do you hear than?
scoobaruuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is perfection. I wish I was a respected wine connoisseur so I could pull this move. Wine snobs are the worst.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iakt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything on internet is true.
BridgeOfATelecaster ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:28:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If all wine was the same price it would disprove this theory. Very quickly.
Dirtylittlesecret88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sounds like he needs to get laid"
Sinbad
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is beautiful
UuuuR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listening to the champagne carbonation level?
TheBlahTherapy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks man, we need more of this in San Francisco and i love people watching. LOL
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snobs: People with low self-esteem that feel so cool about the one thing they got right in their lives. Appreciate the art of wine tasting, or whatever activity, simply for its enjoyment. No one likes an asshat.
KubrickIsMyCopilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Another approach: "I find that your learned analysis of the wine has an earthy bouquet with overtones of cow manure, with just a dash of horse manure, and considerable influences from a Paul Giamatti movie. You must really think everyone you talk to is a moron."
kingp43x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Young Larry Bird
coppergato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I will do this from now on. Cheers to you, Larry!
seriouslycurious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love post lol hilarious guy. He looks like he got beat up by alcohol though.
dandaman910 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fruity tones vibrating through the wine
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
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tbranch227 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genius!
Guy_Number_3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know I'm late but I love wine!! Here is how you use all the senses:
Touch: hold the wineglass front be stem
Sight: look at the wine, is it cloudy, clear?
Smell: Just smell it! Fruity? Bitter?
Taste: Drink it!
Sound: Well... CHEERS!!
Latrino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's Stellan Skarsgรฅrd!
leonryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they'll start doing it. just wait and see. some pretentious tool will be listening to his wine without a trace of irony within the year.
m15cell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a winetrollogist.
epoch_fail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With this cup over his ear, it gets hard to hear the wining coming from others.
Icametotamethebeasts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its got a lot of different tones in it.
DapperDan77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a great wine, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.
Saratje ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you have a friend or family member who's the pretentious sort of wine snob, try buying a $3 dollar wine and putting it in a $30 bottle, one of a wine they'd know by name to supposedly be a good one. Giggle yourself silly as they go ohhh and ahhh over what they can't tell is plonk poured into an empty bottle.
algonquinroundtable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but how is the earfeel?
Geasavenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Muhahaha
cefaloo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't rocket science, he's listening to the yeast signatures. Very common in Napa.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
seriously brilliant. i love it.
Misty_Rose98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pardon me but I must listen to the sensitive notes this wine seems to be producing. Oh yes, they're far too high to be considered a truly vintage sample. Only the most well trained and experienced ear can detect the hints of its youthful melody. This is an outrage I say!!
Legalcat14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must live in woodinville.
Dioruein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious, what counts as an insufferable wine snob? You know, just to avoid them.
MeowFood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are easy to spot. Usually the loudest one in the room.
JackTomothy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should pull this one next
Push_My_Owl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If OP took the picture...does that mean OP is an insufferable wine snob and OPs brother is trying to confuse.
scaryclownzinmyhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a guy does this sincerely
Dsvstheworld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Live in Napa???
cwood777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I served tables during college (5-year veteran). Opened a bottle of wine for a gentleman and his guest. He did the basic smell and swirl glass stuff, then put it up to his ear as shown (acting completely serious). Heard/seen A LOT of terrible jokes in the serving days and it legitimately made me burst out in laughter. Everyone was silent until I lost it.
mccool215 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy this exact same this with a nug of weed when we were stupid kids. He looks, he smells. Wtf are you doing listening to that? He hasn't lived it down yet.
Ascend_Daily_305 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of snap, crackle, and pop; it is instead burp, bubble, and fizz
lettis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
white wine yuck
Captain_the_Obvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear notes of old tennis ball, black tarmac and freshly-cut grass that's had a bit of dog poo on it...
amiintoodeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should show him this
zJermando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who knows zilch about the fineries of wine, I would 100% believe this to be a thing
U_BO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is Larry Bird?
red-african-swallow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can you hear the longitude of the wine that way?
crazy_chicken_lady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm yes, rich oak tones...
iangncl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is giving me so many Gordon Ramsay vibes and I love it.
Dleduc02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does he work in the Naramata Bench? I swear I saw him when I did my tasting tour at Ruby Tuesday.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Harleyquincey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Interesting similiarity to Walter White's alter ego Heisenberg there.
watchoutsucka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He turns into Larry Bird?
beefixit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bar that sells strictly micro-brew; I will be using this on my beer-snobs so hard!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No one else thinks this dude looks exactly like Michael Madsen?
ConebreadIH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes, this price tag is very tasty thank you!
PaulFreemanAU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen to the juice
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Politely borrowed from Rowan Atkinson Live - Elementary Dating https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lih75e6Rb8A @3:07
iHarshil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sounds good to me"
casper4200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i think you want to wash your hair with vine
i_bent_my_wookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OP's brother kinda looks like a younger Larry Bird. Creepy...
Offspring2099 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Mine is "This is a white". Thank you Michael Scott.
PommyT87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can hear the ocean whining.
LongLiveEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inflammation/10
FredRollinHigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
works better for champagne and sparkling wine.
AllLooseAndFunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then perhaps he's in the wrong field?
boxfactory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has he tried Sweetberry Wine? Ask him.
sara200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it looks as if it would work
_The-Big-Giant-Head_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can still hear the sound of the bee busy collecting nectar on a glorious spring day in the south of France vineyard ........"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The midi-chlorian content in this wine resembles a fine Kevin Bacon aroma. I can tell that the vineyard that this was hatched from was run by a very racist old man but learns to accept others, like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino.
I'd say the cost of this wine should be around $0.02 on a good day. Enough to please the devil of course. Now I'm going to go and talk to that squirrel over there about where he can find some nuts shaped like Japanese kangaroos
chuchotrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brother used confusion! It's super-effective!
m703324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have on occasion listened to the sparkling of champagne - nice sound
Seb7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love this :D
wellblowme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its the same with Scottish whisky. People who pretend they know a whisky (single malt) often descibe them as peaty, which only a few single malts actually are. Most notably from Islay.
chrisjfinlay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lowlands can be pretty peaty too, but yeah - Islay's the main region for it. I don't claim to be a whisk(e)y expert, but i don't often meet a blend that I like.
flyingduck009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds no good. : ^ )
mostafa_wadi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like Gordon Ramsey to me
beholdthewang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That madman. This lad is clearly mad
TootinRootinLasagna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
adeeladvocate1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
need more
tampared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dear pretentious beer wannabes.... I only drink an ice cold IPA... heavy on the citrus, like there's a grapefruit slice in the bottle... In a chilled mug... alcohol content up at 8 or 9 percent. Otherwise, make it a Bud Lite, as it makes no nevermind.
TNGunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds arrogant, yet subdued. With hints of elderberry leaf and scrotal sweat.
Dark_Vulture83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would be hilarious if the fake wineOs went to another tasting and did this, it might be something that catches on, all thanks to one man.
Lord_of_the_Dance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To truly enjoy wine, one must use all senses in order to achieve the deepest appreciation for wine
beholdthewang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure your cousin isn't a disc jockey because he sure is zany. What wI'll he do next
nicerthanwhatever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the clearer the sound, the better the wine.. or so they say. it's true guys
Lord_of_the_Dance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait till wine snobs hear about "dipping"
reptiliandude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody brilliant!
richardhead6666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My go to move would be southparkian, fart in a glass an swirl an smell, "oh what a wonderful bouquet and vintage" lol
Tjref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh yeah, the whine business....
DeveloperChris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God I am so going to do this at our next trip through the Barrossa.
4gigiplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine is dead. So much of it is horrible. Even great wineries are now producing swill. Hopefully, something changes and wine taste and quality makes a come back.
dota2nub ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:51:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As you get older your taste buds decay. It's not the wine I am sorry to say, it is you.
4gigiplease ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:55:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it is the sugar content in the grapes that ruin the wine, due to higher. hotter temperatures (global warming). Wineries know this and are trying to relocate to cool climates. So no, it is the quality of the wine. It is a big problem.
FerretChops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he he awesome
thekittel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hes checking whether or not the wine can breath
Moremilk4All ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading the comments really made me go to listen to the wine.
Main62 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother sounds like a top bloke, I'm going to try this out next time I go wine tasting
mustafaqazi35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can just HEAR the tannins.
kindlyenlightenme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โMy brother's in the wine business. At tastings if he encounters insufferable wine snobs, this is his go-to move to confuse themโ Informative demonstration on TV last night. Where subjects tasting crisps where fooled over the flavour they were sampling, simply by presenting them in the 'wrong' coloured crisp bag. Next they were tricked in regard to crispiness, (two identical crisps seeming to be markedly different), by adjustment of auditory feedback from the sound their chewing made. Finally their sense of taste was completely suppressed, by the application of a clip to their noses. Conclusively revealing that what we may believe we are experiencing, doesnโt stand up to the process of practical testing.
pirate_door91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
(A pun about "whine")
moxeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oxidation happens in E Minor... Listen carefully.. Red wine oxidises much faster and does so in F flat. Now I wish I had my tuning fork to show you
moxeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love asking wine snobs if their favourite brand comes in a cask.
Spawnic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Bird?
jssrea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like the twin brother of Sebastian Rochรฉ.
lordeddardstark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread proves that redditors can fake being experts on anything and we won't be able to smell the bullshit.
zeptimius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
James Thurber cartoon --wine snobbery is timeless
riderer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Liam Neesen, thats you?
Moose_And_Squirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you..........Larry Bird?
jrex167 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It looks pretty good from hear...
Braireos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Wine whisperer.
Ar_Shaiky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you hear the difference in friction against the glass? That red is so rough it's deafening. This white is a lot smoother, but let me introduce you to this $$$$ wine. Completely soundless.
Mox_au ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like Jonestown, throw it away quickly....or drink it, if you're married
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA!! Like it.
therealbigtasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
God bless you, Adam Vourvoulis! I hail you brother!
chocobo606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahhhh, the...French...champagne...has always been celebrated for its excellence.
awe300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:39:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This red wine goes really well with the white one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You see, a good wine will be ever so slightly THICKER than water. A good ear can hear the difference as it sloshes back and forth in the glass."
MuIIzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you listen close enough, you should be able to still hear the echoes of thousands of tiny grape voices. Screaming at their demise"
Brojesuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your brother has a particular set of skills?
Rumpleshite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wine resonates according to the turgidity of the grapes at the time of picking.
rahula22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is he smelling throw ears ? lol
g_squidman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't drink. I told all my friends that if I started drinking, I'd probably become a wine snob. They don't mess with that shit anymore. They know it's true.
Aylithe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Flaccid with a note of pomp and Ballista Scrotum AKA BS
ficread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grapes are telling him to avenge them. Music intensifies https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wZZb_X4N-Q. lol
TommehBoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen very carefully, you can hear the wine whispering, "I'm overpriced."
Skaughty23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you buy this, then you're dumb"
mermaid_pinata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can hear the ocean!"
harmony_bliss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm rather fond of the Welsh one. It was unexpectedly electronica.
MrBananas1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2013 comments
keelazorah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother Michael Madsen?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother wouldn't happen to have another brother named Bill Mormon, would he? He's my friend, and he is always telling me about the "wine business" back in Cali. This guy certainly could be his brother from his looks!
JustTitDirt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Gordon ramsay?
Skaughty23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If you listen close you can hear the ocean"
[slaps other ear]
JoMich85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine, tell me your secrets
reddit_user13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen closely, you can hear the whine.
SuperMarioChess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and a guy at work have it planned so whenever we get a chance he will bring over a metal part while making me close my eyes. I then "identify" the part by smell. What the 3rd person doesnt realise is we pick the part beforehand.
Chik5tar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the wat ๐๐๐๐๐๐
Griffith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My father was the sales chief of a company that imports wine and over the years he's taken various courses, visited various producers and has a reasonable understanding of the different characteristics of Portuguese wine. One of the things he enjoyed doing the most would be to order the worst wine in a menu when he was with snobby acquaintances and ask for their opinion. That was his way dealing with wine snobs.
Sometimes I'd be brought in the joke by being asked to give my opinion about the wine, which I would, and it would usually be negative, to the surprise of the snobs, and then my father would agree with my opinion. Then we'd watch all the wine snobs clumsily backtracking on their opinions "well of course, I thought it just needed a ... little breathing ha... haha..." usually followed by a: "no gentleman, it's really not a good wine" by my father.
shayan741 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow
cehok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are there any good subreddits deticated to wine,winetasting, winery??
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/insufferablewinesnobs?
Luis5923 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This wine improves my tannitus.
GoodGnG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hasn't reached the amusement park status of that one place
TheonsPrideinaBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did not know Larry Bird was still so young and could hear the quality of wine. Is there anything that man can't do?
p8nt_junkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Listen,,,you smell something?"
IUsed2BHot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:32:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know Larry Bird was in the wine business now!
J-ohnny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this...
EddieSilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's genius
Theres_A_FAP_4_That ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Bird is Sommelier?
Shufflebuzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I get a hot ear, and this helps cool it down.
Gnomi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a second I thought OP's brother was Gordon Ramsey
screen317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Something something study where wine connoisseurs couldn't tell the difference between red and white
bennyboy82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the guy from Hack My Life?
Orchae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:01:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, you can clearly hear the insufferable wine-ing and cherry undertones."
knightmare0_0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you hear it's calllll?
bultrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The key to this move is the stare off into space, as if you're trying to recall whether you've heard this wine's sound before.
Trprt77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A proper wine connoisseur would have his pinky extended during the crucial aural examination.
the_ownz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gordon Ramses is that you?
lhedn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thus making them think he's an even bigger snob.
awaisawee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!!!!
Dude1k1k15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you hear it? The insufferable wining?"
LoBsTeRfOrK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
MY EAR BALL SMELL BUDS HURT!
fallenreaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Always wanted to pull a bobs burgers, have a wine off, and have them drink from the spit bucket.
Gunslinger_11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gross๐, good episode.
juicedagod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So your brother is Larry Bird?
thewarehouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does he know any wineries looking for label design help?
UndeadBBQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I like to do that too. Tap the winglass and listen to the sound of the glass.
Had similar results of confusion in winebars.
Jabulon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its called squeezing every drop, trying to build an impression.
hunter-rose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is you're brother Larry Bird?
rhyzwmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to know how people around him react :D
wharrgarble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow he must be asked about the movie Sideways constantly, poor soul
stevean2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We're not in the alcohol business, Jesse. We're in the WINE Business"
B2Dirty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just do as Chris Jericho says, "Drink it in, mannnnn"
draziert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking "Listen to them whine/wine"
midnitte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brings a new meaning to wine tasting notes.
esoteric_enigma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've been to many a tasting but have luckily never run into a snob. My neighbors aren't rich enough I guess.
fecalodor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please make a video.
C00ps935 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did no one else think for a split second that was Gordon Ramsay?
flylikeIdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The next winery trip I get roped into, I am going to try this one.
WhitmoreSycamore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He must do this A LOT!
amyumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touche
CaptMorgan74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I recently visited the Biltmore, and we stopped by the winery at the end. However, my wife is expecting. It was pretty funny going into the tasting room and asking for grape juice. BTW they have "Biltmore" grape juice, but they give you cheap Welch's in the tasting room.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Bring the glass up, swish gently, and then pour it into your ear."
vigtel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory
andyytan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will hear you, and I will kill you"
YawnDogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Sideways when he puts his finger in his ear.
orrk256 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
really the people round where i live just sell them 6โฌ wine for 70, wine snobs may be annoying but also ready to drop a bunch of cash on stupid
FarnsworthWright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is John Cleese's joke from his "Wine for the Confused" program. Here's a trailer, though it does not contain the joke.
Thepresocratic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey is Gordon Ramsey holding wine up to his ear?
DangerDuck80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd pour a glass down my pants and leave
frooschnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
2030 Messi, is that you?
anonymau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question: Why does excessive wine drinking turn the skin that reddish almost purple color? Specifically the nose?
cafeteriastyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Broken blood vessels.
just_some_nut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother looks like Michael Madsen.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its funny cause he looks like a insufferable snob doing this.
esskue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk about picking up tasting notes....
glooka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When i heat treated metal, a common joke was to act like you were biting the metal, and then say what the hardness was. Barely-relevant story
legend72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fucking gold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic Wuori
logd14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The wine will speak to you if it's good...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This has almost 8k upvotes last night and now it's down to 5.5k. What happened?
lespaulstrat2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:47:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people probably realize that his brother is not in the wine business and this is just a tired old joke.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how that works. When I went to sleep last night, the post was 3 hours old and had almost 9000 upvotes. Woke up this morning, post was #1 with 5500 upvotes. Comments are overwhelmingly positive, I don't get it.
syltpasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:18:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It resets at 9999 likes. You have around 17000 likes.
mark2talyho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have a question. How does one get into the wine business? Is there some sort of vocational requirement? What is the standard initial investment? Can it be done via the internet only, or would more money be made with a Brick and Mortar establishment? Do you have to be licensed by the US, or is it something you just pay regulatory fees as you go?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In my brother's case, he is an employee, not an owner. He has a college diploma in food and beverage management, wine industry certifications, and 20 years of sales and management experience in our region (and all the valuable connections that go with that experience). He started as a wine sales rep and was promoted to management when his boss retired. Now he is the top sales exec at a mid-sized independent winery. I do know the owners of a couple of wineries. Typically, if you wanted to own a winery you would purchase an existing estate winery. If you wanted to start a winery from scratch it would be expensive and onerous. Alcohol production is HIGHLY regulated in most jurisdictions, and food and beverage is highly regulated to begin with, so bureaucratic barriers to entry as a manufacturer would be extreme I presume.
mark2talyho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in New York, so as you can imagine we regulate everything. I am not so much looking to open a Winery/Vineyard (yet). I am more so looking into starting an importing/dealing company.
rangeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tell him to taste the condensation on the glass to make sure the dish soap was properly rinsed.
mmaannww ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:03 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can hear the word of God if it was made from water.
TroySC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom's in the wine industry, I'll make sure she see's this in case she needs to deploy it at work!
Supes_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the link to that study where they fed wine snobs the exact same wine just with different levels of food coloring added and literally every single person fell for it?
do_you_like_my_nuts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother being a dick to wine dicks isn't helping the cause. Y'all just circle jerking each other. Instead be an asshole so that is a dick fucks with you he gets shit all over his dick.
unclefistface622 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear the laughter of the vintner. He was a...no, SHE was a rather playful individual, though clearly hiding a dark past.
WormBloat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he looks really British. Is he British?
ukiyoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The snobs, once they're back home...
peter_the_panda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends is a beer snob...he's invited me to tastings and now I'm convinced that liquor/wine/beer snobs are my least favorite people in the world
bigdrew3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Troll on, brotha!
Z0idberg_MD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The anus is actually far more sensitive than your taste buds. To really appreciate the flavor of a good wine, you need to give yourself an enema."
snegtul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If he encounters insufferable wine snobs..."
So they aren't the norm? I'd think that MOST of the people that go to wine tastings would be wine snobs.
paperhalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some wine tastings, like the ones around where I live, actually do it more as an attraction and teaching purpose i.e. the difference in wines.
yallready4this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:12:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for some reason it makes me happy to see that the wine is chilled. I like chilled wine.
1blckbx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm getting------- I'm getting------- pissed.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can hear the dreams of all who made this vintage
zimmah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snob: I'm not able to hear the wine.
Support: Can you give a bit more context on the situation? Snob: Sir, I'm NOT a glass guy so I don't know.
Support: What kind of glass are you using?
Snob: I don't know what that is!
Support: Okay, which color is the wine?
Snob: SIR, I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I AM NOT A GLASS PERSON, YOU'RE REFUSING TO HELP ME SO I'M GOING TO HANG UP
mr_gelatinous_blob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a cut open tennis ball.
RemingtonSnatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People who taste wine and spit it out are an affront to common sense.
available_username2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
earrior
rabidpeacock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:50 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You must hear if the wine is about to turn.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:41 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:37 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the heads up. This instagram post annoyed my brother as it did not mention it was written by me. My brother thought the post was funny but he is getting a bit of grief for it from the industry. He would prefer if the post said it was written by his brother. Anyway, thanks
_Forrest_Gump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:28 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/twilling8, Dude I'm gonna call you out on this; This is an old joke that I heard of in the 90's, maybe even the 80's.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:37 on August 5, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps. There is apparently a video of Mr. Bean in a restaurant doing something similar as well. I can say I didn't intentionally use someone else's idea.
Xaxxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:23 on September 25, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Bird listens to wine?
TheRealSaxon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:39 on November 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do this on saturdays when i hold beer tastings. Fucking hillarious to see the ones who catch on stare at the ones who havent got a clue
dance3942 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:43 on December 13, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All of these things sound convincing. I feel i'm ready to drop top dollar. Ok but seriously are these like actual qualities people use to describe wines?
HaddyBlackwater ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's BRILLIANT
MrMcSpanky94 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:24:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine snobs are the absolute worst. Followed by microbrew snobs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I am interpenetrating the term wrong, but what is wrong with knowing a lot about the taste of wine?
mikepictor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:43:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
knowing a lot makes you an academic/expert. Being arrogant about that knowledge, and looking down on people lacking that knowledge, makes you a snob.
MrMcSpanky94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because those people tend to criticize the littlest things. And they don't shut up
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He then pours it in his ear and proceeds to swish it around then let it come out into the spit barrel.
pm_me_your_wheelz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:53 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We used to do this with tennis racquets at our shop... we had one employee poke a few strings and push them(which does absolutely nothing) and say yep... mhmm. Your strings are good. Come back in 3 weeks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:56:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pm_me_your_wheelz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm saying pushing on the strings as a unit, not checking for notching or frays. Its impossible to know the tension just by looking at and poking strings as some are stiffer/thicker than others. These are the people that have more money than knowledge but treat employees like they are on the pro tour. Its a backhanded way of saying "you played once, you do not need to blow $35 on new strings each week"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
bluffmagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Next time take a KFC burger to a wine tasting and plant one bun on each ear and walk around backwards.
BudParc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:24:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine is all about snobbery, good wine and great wines are sold for amazing prices due to "snobbery" and in many cases (sorry) limited supply
If your brother is in the Wine business and seriously bitching about snobbery, he is an idiot. It makes him a living.
Mention snobbery on Reddit, guaranteed to get thousands of inadequates chiming in happily.
Watch a real wine sommelier correctly identify a vineyard and vintage in a blind tasting and try to create a sensible argument about "snobbery"
LDLover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please. I used to be a waitress and when you are at a restaurant that has paper table cloths, ya don't get all snobby with your 18 year old waitress about the wine selection and swirl around a $20 bottle of Robert mondavi talking about its legs to try to impress a girl. This makes you a douche bag.
insderkino ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:43:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHA I served at a cigar bar and lounge a few years ago. People would get all uppity about their wine, cigars and scotch. They'd try to explain why their choice in these items (usually the more inexpensive options) were soooo spectacular to me (knowing it's really not worth what you're spending) and I would just stand there thinking "who are you trying to fool?!"
I'm so happy to be out of the restaurant game.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
who is their right mind drinks a $20 dollar bottle of wine on a date?
BudParc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where did I mention cheap restaurants?
Where did I say I was trying to impress some young girl
I didn't, I was just making a point about how any mention of snobbery really pulls the chain around here, and that lots of fine wine is special and unique, despite silly snobs, or inadequate bitxhes
LDLover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In what world is snobbery applauded? It's not only on reddit that a snob would elicit a muchdeserved eye roll. The most genius people I have been fortunate to know in any subject have tended to be the least "snobby." I have no time for snobs.
BudParc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:53 on August 4, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was defending wine fans, the pejorative term snob being fairy over used.
E.g. Chateaux have a licence to produce 1,000 bottles of "Premier Cru" but a little investigation shows that their 2er is the same on xxxx vintage, fools, aka snobs, buy the 1er Cru, smarter buyers buy the 2and..
MadMonk67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Found the wine snob!
JDogg_of_RS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ah, yes, I do hear the ocean!"
RD117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/SB6Lx3Bg2DQ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:59 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like a younger, equally insane Liam Neeson
sabek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL OPs brother is larry bird
cesarjulius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Barry Lird
Mjolnr66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should pour them a glass of boones farm
metalhead1999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm detecting half speed alliencore with a dose of pig squeals and some whole tone sweeps. breeeeeeeeee
chameleonhalo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He is listening for the whine
IsItMeyoure_looking4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Sustain, listen to it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
talkersmakemethirsty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Tastings are 90% insufferable
snobs. This is an appropriate response. You can hear the terroir, obviously.Edit: That's harsh. There are plenty of pleasant wine dorks. It's just the unpleasant ones are particularly memorable.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
like I said elsewhere, there's a vast difference between educated and experienced people who have a critical eye for quality, and obnoxious know-it-all pricks who get snarky and picky to feel more important.
almost_a_troll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think this answer fully qualifies you as a samo...sama... Professional wine enthusiast.
talkersmakemethirsty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somalian.
ChetJettison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH, I recognize this technique. LISTENING! I always LISTEN to my beverages. OTHERWISE HOW CAN YOU BE SURE THAT IT REALLY SPEAKS TO YOU.
warren31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother Larry Bird from 30 years ago?
az116 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to comment that your brother is Larry Bird, since three others have also done so.
evenios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sounds legit.
MeGustaLaCerveza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Wine Country, CA. I'll be using this move this weekend.
ZombiWorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do ya like baileys? milk the funky ball of tits into ma mangina.
johnnypebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LOL! My father used to do that with the cork... or, more often than not, the cap.
Kevin-N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Myth or fact: wine gets better through time?
Dogs_Akimbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I enjoy wine a lot more now than when I was younger. So, in some ways, fact.
WeeJockPooPongMcPlop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the wine.
Phibriglex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Both. Most modern wines do not age well and are meant to be consumed and not aged. However, that is not to say that certain wines can't be aged further.
Many wines today can only be aged a couple years, to maybe 10 years for some reds. Only up to 5 for some whites. After that, you're likely to get faults in the wine and have it go bad.
New winemaking methods and technologies have changed the way that wine is produced and aged by the producer. More often than not, you're better off drinking as soon as you buy it than actually ageing it. Except for maybe certain ultra traditionalist producers who don't update their growing techniques.
PwnApe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic example of shit Reddit
BiFiGum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wine. It always gets me savvy drunk, yanno? The drop your cigarette and light it backwards kind of drunk?
Ripoge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just being drunk lol
Toidal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Talk to me, tell me your secrets, c'mon you're embarrassing me.
quitecreative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't you heard? Listen closely enough and you'll hear a little whine...
Ammoholic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there is a science to it, but many inexperienced "aficionados" pretend to be some fine wine artisan's protege.
MrBond90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just hate snobs of any hobby or activity. I just want to try something out because it's fun to me, not to feel superior.
eatmocake84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not hating, I actually love this.
...but judging by skintone, somebody's not using the spit bucket
something86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just don't believe in wasting Jesus juice.
eatmocake84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
<- not drinking any fucking merlot
something86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
nope drinking Syrah blends
Some from Jesus land too! :D
uremog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing detail and clarity, crisp highs; bass is adequate and precise. One of the most detailed Sauvignon Blancs. Clearly from the from the upper valley by the openness of the sound stage.
JohnnyElBravo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On a scale from Bad to good this wine was good.
Dogs_Akimbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How about some wine?"
"Sounds good."
coyoteoty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nar? Is that the low speech I hear, gunslinger? Come from the callas?
RottonPotatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Larry Bird is a wine taster.
tugretssor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Irish Gordon ramsey.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In case you didn't already know, that's really fucking funny
joshuarion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Work in wine. Will be using this. Tell your brother he's an inspiration.
Hullabalooga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like he has a very particular set of skills...
newadult ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Once at a vineyard the guide told us that if someone asks you what a wine tastes like, just tell them like grapes. You will never be wrong.
jumbods64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what if it's rice winethe13bangbang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Mmhmmm has a thick small ripple creek sound. Napa Valley white grapes have a slightly more viscous juice that really accents a juicy, but partially dry, and slightly sweet flavor."
Thomas_Hamilton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look like Larry Bird much?
doot_doot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the spirits business and want to do this for whiskey tastings
esotericrrh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I sing in a band and often pretend to try and listen through my mic during the parts that have no vocals. My bandmates have never actually asked about it, so I'm assuming they just think and accept that I don't know how a mic works.
not_gern_blanston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he does his impression of Larry Bird?
brownjesus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hush little one! The wine speaks to me.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZDTreefur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's a hint of rusted chains clinking in a summer breeze. But behind that is the smell of an empty plastic bottle that contained aspirin. Truly fantastic work, it must be from Tuscany!
pinotgrigorgio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes this smells like freshly opened tennis balls with undertones of freshly cut garden hose. This wine is definitely an old world chardonnay from the foothills of Shenandoah.
raka_defocus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a short retail period of my life I sold mediocre "oops we bought to much wine" to wanna be wine snobs with this fine trick....
"Don't let the label fool you, a good vineyard is spending their money in fields not at the printers"
havens8583 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an insufferable wine snob in the business, I love this!
LilBoozy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hearing a pretty tannic note her with a chocolatey aftertaste. Here try it out I think you'll savor it.
coolcool23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Hmm. Mhm. Oh Ok. Ah yes. Well... sounds OK to me."
MacaroniShits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:34 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for him. Wine tasting is a proven sham.
campbellsouup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm should've used the tenor decanter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Look Bethany, he can HEAR the wine's quality!"
Hastadin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you can hear the wine breathing
JacktheTrapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you hear those tannins, daaaammmmmnnnn
BashaB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Bean, anyone?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I encounter wine snobs I take a big old swig, belch and say "Yeah, not bad that"
Wines wine, drink it, enjoy it, be glad you've got it. Leave the tasting to the blokes like your brother who source the wine for me
BloodAndBroccoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a guy who drank soda all the time and I would see him hold the can to his ear before drinking. I asked why and he said that it might be an old can with soda still in it, so he listens for the fizz
BarFreddys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:32 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As an industry person, that is awesome
Bluntmasterflash1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could be a good full of shit wine snob, if I was so inclined. All this redditing made me an expert at babbling about things I don't know anything about.
Licalottapuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My wine comes in a box, so I know it's good every time.
grubber26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can see faces at wine tastings lighting up as glasses are perched near ears...with the next phrase to be utter, redditor? :-)
lazermaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure to reference the late Robin Williams with "Hmm, yes, absurd yet flaccid."
arekkusuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would love to see how many pretend to know what he's doing and talking about and proceed to do the same.
tripletstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice red face. He was too drunk to criticize anything.
permalink_child ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Synesthesia: "I can hear the tannins..."
Samue1son ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I can hear the sea"
gonnahike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a picture of a man holding a wine glass to his ear... :( wtf reddit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother might be Vandal Savage
Tralan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He should pronounce all the letters in wine names. Like Sow-Vig-nun Blank. And Peanut Griggeeo. Merlutt is my personal favorite.
nongingertreeninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen closely, you can hear the grapes wine
MakotoVerite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I actually do it with reds to hear if it sparkles.
I don't do it in a pedantic way, I just love to hear the fizz. It tells me nothing about the wine.
endisnearhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never witnessed wine rage before this thread. Thank you for opening my eyes to a new kind of hilarious trigger for people that love to get mad at things.
Youareageebag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All these jokes are lame.
Ttoctam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is in a very old Rowan Atkinson sketch.
crazybones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
All joking aside, this is actually a viable way of distinguishing between organic wines.
I use it all the time. I know it sounds crazy, but when all else fails you can employ this technique to hear the difference between a red and a white.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
insderkino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he's a server at the Olive Garden, haha. I had to do a crazy (unnecessary) amount of wine training when I worked there.
futtinutti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Making fun of your customers is usually not a wise move.
ManariWoW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell by the condensation on the glass that the Chardonnay in this photo is too cold to be enjoyed properly.
Bacon666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So do we enjoy it improperly? I'm all confused.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ze_languist ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't really understand how someone who's "in the wine business" is put off by wine snobs. What exactly makes them insufferable for him? Does he not look at the legs, talk about the mineral notes, swish the wine around in his mouth when he's doing his tastings? (Or whatever these people actually do.)
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
there's a difference between people who are educated and know how to select quality goods, and people who are just obnoxious assholes who think they know more than they really do and are being picky to seem important.
ze_languist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but in this line of work, I think these two categories are not necessarily mutually exclusive. I don't doubt that there are irritating people who are into wine, who may not know what they're talking about, but at the same time, when you get into the nitty gritty details of what makes a "good" wine, a lot of it is pretty arbitrary. At some point someone decided what flavors are desirable. Those people get called "connoisseurs" while their imitators are called snobs. What I'm saying is there's an inherent snobbery in wine, which is why I think there's a bit of a lack of self-awareness in this post. I think it's funny that he messes with people like this, I just also think it's kind of funny in an unintended way.
CokaYoda ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
^ This x10000
Wes___Mantooth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:23:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother kind of looks like Simon Pegg.
roccosrant ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:33:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think that if you own any sort of wine business, or are regularly employed by one, you are a bit of a wine snob...by definition. I don't really care either way but anyone telling me how things SHOULD taste can go get fucked.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Besides my brother, I know the owners of a couple of wineries, all down-to-earth people who really enjoy making an interesting product. Wine has a pretty extraordinary spectrum of flavors that makes it a particularly interesting product. My experience has been that the people who actually produce wine aren't snobby in the least. They are more hands-on, operations focused. In fact, the vast majority of people at tastings are really cool too and just learning and having a good time. But then there's THAT guy...
cunting_christfucker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:56:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually this is a completely legitimate wine tasting move for the highly attuned palate.
If a wine has had post-bottling additional fermentation (think Champagne - but not deliberately) but it is extremely subtle then this undesirable character of the wine can be confused with acidity as the tongue is not necessarily sensitive enough to distinguish between the carbonic acid in the microbubbles and general acidity in the wine derived from the fruit. (The alcohol in wine that professional tasters spit will still be absorbed through the tongue and can dull it - these guys taste in bulk)
A swirl and listen in a quiet room will use the natural acoustics of the glass to magnify the 'schwssshhh' of background effervescence that will allow for differentiating the two very similar characteristics.
After a day's tasting being able to split the difference between a serious fault and youthful acid exuberance is very important to both buyer and producer.
Note - anyone telling you that the difference in wine glass shapes is to do with this acoustic trick is talking absolute rubbish. They're to do with local glassblower techniques.
losian ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, those insufferable wine snobs are why that shit can sell for thousands a bottle. I mean, I think it's all stupid, but seems kinda dumb to kinda be a douche to the people who give value to your arguably ridiculously over valued grape crap.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
brother_p ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:08:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/23/wine-tasting-junk-science-analysis
permalink_save ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:25:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
These studies come up in every wine thread. Some are common sense and others are just shitty studies. Most wine you can tell the difference. You can tell the difference within the same variety. The difference between a cab and a pinot and a malbec are quite drastic. On the other hand, there are 1) a lot of factors affecting wine flavor and 2) a smaller set of tastes that appear in wine than people think. So, a variety that typically is known for being more sweet that is grown in an area that is known for being more tart can blur the lines. I confuse similar varieties from time to time because there is so much crossover in flavors. Also, price usually doesn't matter. When it gets above $8/bottle there's usually a drastic jump in quality (both in taste and being hung over), but the difference in a $10 bottle and a $25 bottle are typically negligible.
What it usually comes down to are the conditions around taste testing, and creating conditions that mislead testers too. People are just like that, you can give someone two glasses of the same tap water and people will chose one they like better, especially if you coax them into chosing one by saying it's from an exotic location. It's also a lot harder to judge without a point of reference. I couldn't compare a malbec to a merlot without having both in front of me because their flavor profiles overlap which makes it harder to distinguish characteristics if I was just handed a glass of wine.
So to give a good idea of how much wine can vary. I've had cabs that were light bodied and bordered on rose, and I've had cabs that literally tasted like tobacco, yes drinking a cigar. Same variety, just different growing conditions.
edit: bad comparison, see reply to /u/EngiK
FatherStorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Give me a decent Riesling, or a Pinot Noir, depending on what's priced better, a nice warm afternoon, and all that other crap can go hang itself. Wine is what you like. Just like any other alcohol. Sometimes I'm good with Jim Beam, sometimes I feel like some Maker's Mark Cask Select. When I go out to drink, I figure Crown or Jack are the best bet for the dollar, but I will still sometimes get some Seagrams 7. Most Often, the extra $$ makes for a smoother and straight sippable whiskey, but the cost differential makes that a stupid move to do every day.Besides. If you always only drink the best, you lose your appreciation for it.. It just becomes what Whiskey is supposed to taste like, instead of something to appreciate and savor.
McIanAvelli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
-- lifts glass toward ear
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How the fuck does that make sense. Unless I am somehow not reading correctly because of the small text on my phone, you just openly admitted that what you are talking about is a pile of nonsense. Saying that you require both to make a choice or to give any sort of valuable discussion on is, in essence, saying that outside the realm of on the spot comparisons, which can be made by literally anyone who has functioning limbs and is able to consume wine, you are talking complete nonsense.
Just think about what you just typed and compare that to literally anything else. You don't even have to stray too far from what you are talking about. Do food experts and reviewers hobby/job require them to eat 2 of everything anytime they want to compare or make note of something? No. They just know because you can taste shitty food, and shitty cooking, almost anyone can. They don't need to eat a well cooked meal and a shitty cooked meal to figure out how shitty or how good one is. When you get a lot of experience trying wide ranges of food, your ability to figure that stuff out gets faster and more precise.
Wine tasting is bullshit. It has been shown time and time again that you can pour what many "wine experts", not hobbyists either, people who actually do that for a living, would normally call crap wine of the same variety into a widely considered "good wine" empty bottle and they won't know the difference. Even comment on how good it is.
permalink_save ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine tasting is not bullshit. Sorry, but just because you don't experience it doesn't mean it's not an actual thing. And the one tiny point you pulled out is in reference to how similarly tasting wines (and sorry, I meant something more along a malbec to a merlot) can be hard to compare because there is overlap among varieties. I do think people overemphesis the differences and subtleties of wine, but there are distinct characteristics and certain varieties highlight different ones. These types of posts and studies try to play off wine as all tasting the same which isn't true. There's brands and varieties and regions I like and while I wouldn't be able to tell you all of those just by taste alone (thus my comment you quoted), I can tell you if it is one that I like and what I like about it.
pleasedontteabagme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I decided to give only California cabs a go a few years ago.. I found much of what you said true. Not much difference between $10 and $40 but above $75 was 'typically' better again, at least in the cabs I had.
What I was surprised to learn was that after a year or two, only drinking cabs from California (I figured I had to start somewhere) was that my taste did improve in picking out regions, and years especially by just looking at the region and the year and not looking up any online reviews at all. I distinctly remember 2007 as an a excellent year and was stunned to learn that 2007 was generally a good year, the world over.
permalink_save ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a wino so I never go above the 30s zone. I'll have to give a more expensive bottle a go some day if I ever get a better job position. Any recommendations?
pleasedontteabagme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:06:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, there's a great but not so uncommon Cab that I like called 'The Show'
Of course the 07 was the best I found but the later years have been quite good for the value too. (Avg $16 per bottle)
FinalMantasyX ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:09:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: Everyone in the wine business is an insufferable wine snob
Isn't it a proven fact that most wine "science" and tasting vocabulary and whatnot is all bullshit? I'm pretty sure you can find tons and tons of papers and articles about how winetasting in general is a completely bullshit profession that spreads bullshit to trick people who like being bullshit into thinking they know stuff, but it's actually bullshit, and everyone's talking out of their ass.
Tasters can taste the same wine multiple times, be told it's something different, and value each taste differently. They can be given wine from a box from the grocery store in a bottle from 1840 and wine from the bottle in a wine box and say the boxed wine is garbage and the bottled wine is fantastic. Then you put the bottled wine in a (different) bottle and the boxed wine in a (different) box and again they'll say the bottle is amazing and the box is crap, even though it's the same stuff from before, with the packaging reversed.
It's all bullshit.
It's all insufferable snobbery.
It is an industry that thrives on people thinking they're smart or cultured.
scorpiousdelectus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We got a Passion Pop lover here
Urd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:15:18 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/1NidYtydueg?t=169
Johnnysfootball ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:56:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought this too until I started to work at a wine bar. One day my boss gave me a glass of Silver Oak Cabernet and my whole perspective shifted. My feeling is you've never had a glass like this. Sure there are a ton of snobs out there but who gives a shit. They're so recognizable and easy to spot that you just avoid them as most people do. Anyways, be open to wine and hopefully you'll find that one glass :)
SourCreamWater ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're way too mad about this.
ezfrag ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Going to wine tastings is fun if you just like to drink wine. I have no problem telling them that I don't like the wine they are raving about. I recently did tastings at a local winery and the best seller was horrible in my opinion, but the one I really liked just happened to be the owners favorite wine ever. Little did I know that meant that he had to explain the variety of grape used and the process of grafting the shoots to disease resistant root stock and how they trained the vines. But in the end, he basically said that he didn't understand why people bought their best seller because he didn't like it, but it was rated well and sold like crazy.
ilovepornmore ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my brothers in the wine business and he doesn't like wine people...that really sucks for him
phazerbutt ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine is actually very complex. Aging. Tannins. Rs. Stability. Serving temp. It changes a great deal when it breathes. There are many steps related to just filtration. Whites are bottled with less then 1 part per million oxygen because they do not age long in general. Reds are also bottled the same way. Production is complicated and fine wine is an art. Wine storage is important. Between 55 and 60 F on the side to keep the cork wet. The storage temp matters but the temp variation is actually more important, the temp should be constant.
xmelancoholicx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this thread is about you
phazerbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is impossible. I am just an uninteresting bystander.
Seahan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:23:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Listen closely. Fine wine speaks to you.
timidforrestcreature ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:29:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has the wine snob ever imitated him pretending to know this technique?
thatguy2366 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can literally hear the tannins.."
pm_me_ur_weird_pms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a white buddy.
The_Faceless_Men ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can literally hear the lack of tannins.
thatguy2366 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hell if I know, I'm not a wine snob.
vulture_87 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:32:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the sound of Oak?
pm_me_ur_weird_pms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ask whiskey.
brandorambo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:46:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's got pretty good technique though . . . Would take me years
teflonpenguin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:02:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a novice! You only listen to reds with your right ear.
69nigerianprince ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear the wine calling to me
JBocs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:05:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You have to let win breath and also talk to you!
cisforcookie2112 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you listen closely you can hear thousands of grapes screaming simultaneously.
dereksmalls1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, Obi Wan.
Seraphinh ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You can hear the sea, so this is definitely a Pinot Gris"
TheRhymingRedditor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:06:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want a little cheese with that whine?
DeplorableVillainy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:08:19 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You must listen to the wine, what does it say?"
"Kill meeeee"
"Oh, this one must have picked just a bit too early"
stanleyfarnsworth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:12:29 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic.
"This rosรฉ has terrific ears!"
Fuzzyninjaful ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:12:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother is like a lovechild of Robert Patrick and Bill Pullman.
jaydog747 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:13:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"mmm yes those tannins are just screaming"
vanceco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:14:23 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I do that in the grocery store with ears of corn. I'll hold it up to my ear, shake it, and act like i can hear something, before putting it in my cart. I started doing it for some odd reason as a response to the people who rip the ears open to decide if they want to buy it, and then leave a bunch of half-peeled ears to dry up before other people buy them. I find it very rude. I've never ripped corn husks open in the store, and i've never gotten a bad ear. I don't understand why people think it's an acceptable practice.
-ParticleMan- ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:35 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
because most people are selfish assholes that dont think of anyone else but themselves.
vanceco ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:28:17 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh...yeah.
I guess i forgot.
-ParticleMan- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
dont worry, they'll remind you soon enough
Jal147 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:18:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds earthy
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I dont get it.
FantasticDucks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:56 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You see that residue on the glass? Clearly too much sugar in the wine.
Reaps21 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this episode of delocated
hidingplaininsight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:16 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey /u/twilling8, is this an emperor's new clothes situation where the wine snobs pretend it's totally normal and sometimes attempt to immitate,? If not, what does your brother say when they ask him what he's doing?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:21:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:48 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That isn't wine.
RickTheBeast ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:22:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Paso Robles and every other person here is one of those, it's pretty funny but it's mentally draining to constantly be around snobby people
Dehalo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:26:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
k
sieuanhhungtv ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice
CassandraCuntberry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:38:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine snobs can't even taste the difference between horse urine or Chardonnay. Now that's a scientific fact.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wow, that must be some truly awful chardonnay.
I mean, I don't even drink at all, and I'm pretty sure I could still discern wine from animal piss.
Catbone57 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chardonnay is a cat piss-flavored liquid that resembles wine. Its entire purpose is to deliver alcohol to non-wine drinkers to sedate them so the rest of the gang can enjoy their wine.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
how do you know what that tastes like?
MisanthropicZombie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually the wine is OK but the horse piss is excellent!
jacobslighthouse ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:45:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine Business is codeword for scam business.
ZippyTheChicken ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its like people who are artists vs the people that buy shit....
they come in and try to read all kinds of stuff into something they are buying to make themselves feel more important.. you can't tell them they are wrong or they get offended..
the best thing to do is raise the price and limit their access and they want more of it...
I just don't understand how idiots make so much money or get such good jobs when they are........ idiots.. I guess its because they are corrupt..
daileyjd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:49:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
a little science to fight the snobbery
mypasswordisfoobar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine connoisseurs have a look... Your brother has that.
Twin2Win ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:51:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your brother looks like Simon Pegg fucked Gordon Ramsey with a wine glass to his ear
Highly_Tingled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha
Illsonmedia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:52:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
speaking of snobs
bansandwhich ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:58:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that all wine people? It's old vinegar, folks. Your mom has a great vintage in the fridge, I'm sure.
writhinginnoodles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:02 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such a shitpost
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:42 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ur brother sucks
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:11:12 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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lsspam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But I bet you're pretty dull at parties :(
Ama-ze ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:15:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be REAL here... Your brother is the actual wine snob.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:16:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he's winding up to chuck that glass into the naysayer's face. Which, I'm sure, would settle things thoroughly.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:38:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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Hassan_PK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Somebodys in bitchy mood
cobigguy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:52:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for him. I'd love to see him screw with my uncle.
KevinUxbridge ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... or ... you can try to learn enough to yourself become an insufferable wine snob.
PS) In any case, this is about as ... 'confusing' ... as watching someone listening to his served dish at a restaurant (ostensibly to determine the recipe, spices, etc). One might just politely smile at the funny. I suppose that gourmets ('food-snobs'?) might be perceived as equally insufferable by someone used to eating gag-inducing McDonald's type human-feed everyday.
GoodLunchHaveFries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sound fun.
KevinUxbridge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
... with an oakey after
taste,read, sound.Jackzii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:01:11 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"but sir how do you know of its quality with your ear?!"
I wait for it... to speak...
silence
silence
the wine snobs gulp
"nananananananana batman! batman Batman!!! nanannan...."
Ah yes we have fine batman wine here made by batman himself.
threehundred33 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:54:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks disturbingly like Gordon Ramsay
StevenFuckingJobs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:01:54 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is a sufferable wine snob?
gibson_mel ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:44:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He thereby perpetuates the snobbery.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:58:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The point is that you feel superior to your dependents.
braomius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:13:47 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is your brother Larry Bird?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:09:52 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
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Mlogo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's holding it to his ear like he's trying to listen to the wine
jeff15209 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:12:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good. I like this. Wine snobs are bad but guitar snobs and beer snobs are equally annoying.
shermdoggx ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:55:07 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he should fart in it, then smell. Heyyyyyyyy
bury_the_boy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:44:49 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love wine snobs. Also, I love wine.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 04:05:08 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
beerweevil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:26:00 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ahahahahahha!!! They think you're an asshole!!!
aatop ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:41 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine snobs or vegans which ones are worse?
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trick question, they both do cross-fit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:51 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the one that is a feminist.
DausenWillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Vegan wine snobs who are keen on Jesus and want to share it all with you.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:50:28 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Having just returned from a vacation in Napa on Sunday, this amuses me to no end.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
madweezel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Touche.
thndrstrk ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:36 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wine and beer snobs suck
All_Meshed_Up ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:14 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guarantee most wines snobs who see this do it at some point in the day... and every opportunity there after.
k1n6 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:22 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
All any wine snob I know would just back off and think they are dealing with a person who is mentally challenged.
-Edo- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Would be funny if this wasn't being done for a long time now.
chinafoot ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I will find you... and I will kill you."
philmcracken27 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So he goes into the wine business - which is populated with mostly insufferable wine snobs - and then he mocks his own customers at his wine tastings?
jerryeight ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like an overweight Gordon Ramsay.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:06 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, if my brother is overweight I'm an orca :(
jerryeight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:10 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry I think it was the lighting and red flush in his face. He actually looks fit :)
roflzzzzinator ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Shitty wine jokes/wine-snob impersonations that aren't at all funny
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:43 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Plebiscite hatred against a subtle and nuanced craft?!? Colour me shocked!!
Bacon666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
<inserts monocle, twitches mustache> Indubitably!
gologologolo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:46 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Dude dude dood!"
"WHAT?"
"Do that thing where you put the wine to your ear!"
"Ugh. Fine"
Whips out camera
Snap
Posts to /r/funny
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:45 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice picture of yourself. Nice made up story too.
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice username. You're probably not even a real Captain. I'll take you at your word that you're a potato.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:39 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not trying to trick people into thinking that I am
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:13 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds really rough. Tell your brother he's in my prayers.
startingover- ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:15 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually funny.
i_caved ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"It's like looking, into the eye of, a duck.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:21 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
jabberwockey37 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations, you punked yourself! Making yourself look like you're an idiot sure gotta help.
hellosport ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He looks like a closeted snob
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except if they're wine snobs they would already know that this isn't a thing. It would only confuse the people who don't know anything about wine.
CatalystEXE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:01 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
insufferable wine snob detected
SandersClinton16 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:30 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
wine snobs, atheists, vegans, hipsters, and SJWs should all be locked in a room together and see who goes insane last.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:19:38 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
๐๏ธ twilling8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I've never heard of this study, but it looks very interesting. I'm a wine idiot and I would think I can identify a white and red blindfolded. "Time to get a blindfold and call in sick for work, because science!"
Spikex8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like a blindfold would be a much better test of whether they can tell what they are drinking or not, not if they can be confused by fucking with it.
ShadowHandler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They also rated cheap wines put into expensive bottles higher than expensive wines put into cheap bottles. There is a good article about all the bullshit here: http://io9.gizmodo.com/wine-tasting-is-bullshit-heres-why-496098276
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:03:33 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
o0anon0o ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:31:31 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"If I want my steak done medium well done, I'll have a fucking medium well done steak."
I'm going to politely but firmly ask you to leave.
ChaosWolf1982 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:52:24 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I prefer mine medium because it is the perfect balance of flavor and texture, I think rare is just macho showing-off by cavemen who think gnawing bloody animal flesh makes their dicks bigger, and strongly believe well-done means I should be allowed to slap the person who ordered it that way with the resultant slab of flavorless leather as a deterrent from wasting meat like that again.
DiamondIceNS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fine with steak snobs eating whatever steak they want, and having it done how they please, as long as I get my steak how I want. Dry as the baked Sahara.
o0anon0o ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:41:44 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I guess the reference went over your head.
DiamondIceNS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:37 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it did.
o0anon0o ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For the uninitated.
DiamondIceNS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:40 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have been initiated.
I guess I'll take my well-done steak and leave.
Spikex8 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:05 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, these grapes have been rotting in a wooden barrel for 200 years. Perfection.
DJGammaRabbit ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:01:58 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I still don't understand what "craft" beer is. I thought all beer was just beer unless it's shitty and black and called Guinness.
renegadecause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:55 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I found the teenager in the room.
CardSpecialist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:12:26 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DJ don't worry about it. You have a lot of growing up to do.
DJGammaRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:09 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't even aware that alcoholic beverage knowledge equated to maturity.
CardSpecialist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:59:04 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now you know. If you have anymore questions about it, maybe you can talk to Mom or Dad.
DJGammaRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:50 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My parents are dead.
beerweevil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:57 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
CardSpecialist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Have you tried a Ouija Board?
beerweevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:27 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
DJGammaRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:53:20 on August 3, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐