Lol. It's a generic receipt with misc repeated and on clerk 01s account lol
Yeah. That's totally a legit receipt
Karaisk ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a manager at a Fabrication Retail shop.
The buttons to categorise products we have are, Cut to Size, Fabrication, Fiberglass, Misc, and one or two others we never bother with.
My employees are C10, 11, and 12
Hoax13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:02:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instain clrks.
phroug2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever read one of those comments that inexplicably makes you completely lose your shit in a fit of uncontrollable laughter? Well yours just did that for me. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Just wanted to say thanks for that.
Some dollar stores are actually this lazy with their stock descriptions.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:05:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
This comment has been overwritten by an open source script to protect this user's privacy. It was created to help protect users from doxing, stalking, harassment, and profiling for the purposes of censorship.
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nexus9 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 00:34:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of the more powerful washers, like the heated ones (hotsies?), will take paint off if you get too close. You could really powerwash a dick into their paint
Someone crashed into our store last summer and left a large dent/hole in the front wall. I swear to god every old dad in town flocked to my register to say "I didn't know you guys had a drive through." The old men in the back of the line couldn't hear the guy at the counter so every man said that same joke. It was my hell.
for anything $20 or more, we have to use the counterfit detection marker. customers stopped making that joke when i responded with "i'm just making sure you did it right". bonus points if you derail their train of thought.
The Secret Service's initial responsibility was to investigate counterfeiting of U.S. currency, which was rampant following the U.S. Civil War. The agency then evolved into the United States' first domestic intelligence and counterintelligence agency. Though most of its duties have since been absorbed by other agencies like ATF and FBI.
vouuxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:55:01 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or just take them seriously and say "really sir? I'm gonna have to ask you to stay right there" and then you phone security to your register over the loudspeaker whether you have it or not.
I bet by that time the dude will be trying to explain it was a joke so hard he'll never do it again.
I've started telling people that I can no longer legally accept a bill after you say that, followed up with "nah, I'm just kiddin'!" and take the bill from em.
That mini "oh shi-" that the have is great, and I'd like to hope that maybe they will think twice about using that line again.
I would also like to point out that this is a pretty obviously faked receipt. If that were the receipt handed to you after paying, it would show the amount you've paid, and what your change was.
Additionally, even an extremely basic cash register is capable of programming items into it. They aren't that expensive, and could very easily be found for cheap used.
I always respond to that by saying, in a very serious tone, "I'm sorry, sir/ma'am, but since you've said that, I can no longer accept this bill," and hand it back to them.
I tell them I'm kidding a few seconds later, and we both have a laugh about it, but their shocked and disappointed responses to it makes hearing that same joke over and over worth it.
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I'll have to call my manager over, excuse me. Company policy, we take counterfeit bills very seriously"
"Oh, it was a joke? I see. Well, I can just put a tag on your account and continue for now, I suppose.."
Yup. Every fucking day in retail, now I'm in financial services and what everyone says to tellers is equally as annoying.
Teller: "what can I help you with today?"
Customer: "a big bag of money for free would great"
Haha hhahahaha becuase I haven't heard that today 65 times.
MrTPHR ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:18:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the GARDA driver comes in to pick up the drop for the day...
Customer: "Hey, you could just put that in my car."
GARDA: "Excuse me?"
Customer: "HaHa just put the money in my trunk"
GARDA:"Sir, it's a federal crime to..." something professional and lawyerish sounding.
Customer: "I was joking. Sorry"
GARDA: (Sternly)" Attempted robbery is no joke, sir."
The GARDA man then walks out the door, looking back at me laughing while the customer finishes the transaction deadpan.
I think Garda hires the "you shouldn't fuck with him" type on purpose. I've never seen one not look like he's just waiting to get robbed so he can unleash his under pressure can of whoop ass on some unsuspecting criminal. There are much easier ways to get free money.
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's great. I'd imagine that drops a few people's smiles, lol.
xMau5 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:47:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most painful thing to hear for me is when I ask how their day is going and they start spouting off their phone number to get the discout. bitch u can come enter it on the credit card reader yourself you fucking whore
AjBlue7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost worse to be with someone that makes a dad joke at the restaurant and then you have to sit there watching the waitress trying her hardest to force a fake laugh and smile.
Am I allowed to say it if the item can't scan at all? Walmart manager had to make up a price ($50, suckers, it was $80 earlier that week on the online listing) because we wanted to buy a cat tree that according to their system and online didn't exist anymore
mikarm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that I make those jokes just because I know how painful they are from experience? When you get a blank stare back you know you've found a seasoned retail worker.
As a prior retail man, the best comeback i've ever had is to just hand it to them and say "You're right that sounds reasonable" in the most dry tone possible. Usually they would hand it right back to me while avoiding eye contact the rest of their visit.
I am slowly getting my revenge. Every time someone doesn't have change and gives me a bill, when I hand it back, I say "Now you won't be walking around without any common cents!" or, as they hand me the bill "Are you telling me you don't have any cents?" It never gets old for me, but I'd be open to more groaners to throw back at customers.
Every time customers say that I launch into an elaborate description of the last dozen times I've heard the joke that week. That usually shuts 'em up.
Edit: Or I'll sarcastically say, "oh my God that's so funny I've totally never heard that before!" And go on in a similar vain until they feel bad about themselves. I shouldn't deal with customers...
One time I said that, the clerk just shrugged his shoulders and tossed the item in the bag. I'm not sure if I should use that line every time or never again.
The customer says their dumb joke to amuse themselves. The cashier sucks all the fun out of it to watch the customer squirm, for their own amusement. Society is potentially better off, because the customer might be shamed into never making that stupid joke again. I have a pretty good sense of humor, but a tired old joke is a tired old joke... it offends my sense of humor when people use those jokes in a non-ironic way.
denkyuu ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:10:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes anti-humor is the best way to kill bad humor.
No, it's definitely not. It was a second job because I needed the money. I got out as soon as I got a raise at my main job. And for the record, I don't mind a friendly customer, but those tired old "jokes" that every moron with two brain cells diarrheas out their mouth, they get old really fast.
Absolutely true. If the employee is already talkative, then by all means go for it, but if they're quiet, they're either shy, which means you won't get much anyway; they're tired, which means you won't get much anyway; or they're in a pissy mood, which means you'll just be annoying the bejesus out of them regardless of what you say.
dtech12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So if the cashier is an asshole to me for some reason... tell them this joke? Got it!
Oh, there are lots of dumb jokes to annoy cashiers. This one's fairly specific to the situation - an item rarely fails to scan.
Also popular is "you looked bored, I thought I'd give you something to do" when there's an empty line. That one really stings if it's been a busy day, because it's likely the first time the employee's had 2 seconds to catch their breath.
dtech12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god thats new, just made me cringe imaging it, I don't think I could tell these jokes anyway.
"you looked bored, I thought I'd give you something to do"
holy fuck the number of times i get this a day. Yes, congratulations. I was yawning and stretching because I've been serving customers non stop for the last 4 hours and you just caught a quiet moment
Oh Okay, I see now, I must be talking to some sulky jaded dickbag retail worker. i bet you wouldn't say that to somebody out of nowhere just because they made a dumb joke, and just daydream about how all the customers suck and are stupid and couldn't possibly be as smart and no-nonsense as you. Get over yourself
People use the phrase "get over yourself" too often, and most often incorrectly. In what way have I indicated that I'm full of myself? Because I expressed annoyance at a lame, way overused joke that was never funny in the first place?
For the record, I am no longer a cashier. I worked as a pharmacy technician for several years as a second job (8 -15 hours per week on top of my 40 hour full time job), which did include running register as well as all the other pharmacy duties (except verifying filled prescriptions and advising patients, which by law can only be done by the pharmacist.) So yes, given my slightly elongated work week, the shitty hours I worked to fit around my full time job, and the high stress level that goes along with retail pharmacy, I wasn't always in the type of mood necessary to smile through annoying customers. If a customer was friendly, or had something original and funny to say, great - those customers were awesome. But if you're going to roll up with your unfunny stupid shit that a million people before you have already said, don't expect everyone to give you a courtesy laugh.
And obviously, I never REALLY said that to a customer. I would sometimes give them a two second dead stare before resuming the checkout process, but even a jaded employee like me knows where the line is.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:10:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, everyone is on the autistic spectrum, because a full spectrum goes from one extreme to the other. Totally non-autistic people, if they exist, are on the extreme non-autistic end.
Not touche at all considering they are different spectrums that cover different things. The autism spectrum isn't meant to cover all humans, just those who satisfy diagnostic criteria to be on the spectrum.
Visible light and gamma radiation are both on the electromagnetic spectrum. It's the same spectrum.
In other contexts, it's a gradient between two extremes. In the case of autism, it would be maximally autistic on one end and not autistic at all on the other end, and everything else in between. That's actually what the definition of the word is. You can choose not to believe that if you want, but you would be choosing to be wrong.
No, to say someone is on the spectrum is to make a diagnostic claim about their health. There are a wide range of individuals that aren't "on the spectrum" and differ in degrees. To claim anything else is both pedantic and wrong, a rare idiotic mistake to make. Similarly if I asked you where gamma radiation is on the rainbow you wouldn't have an answer worth hearing because you wouldn't be able to engage that question in good faith.
Gamma radiation isn't within the band of visible light, but it is on the same spectrum of electromagnetic radiation.
You don't understand the technical meaning of the term spectrum. Look it up in a dictionary, or continue to misunderstand the meaning of the word; I do not care.
But what if it simply failed to ring up at all? If you scan it, and the register beeps, but nothing shows up on the screen at all? That's the situation where this tired old joke is most often used.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:36:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For a joke to be funny, it has to make sense on some level. The goal is to shut them down by taking the humor away. It inherently becomes less funny to them if you force them to explain it.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The response to the second question would be "No, it would be free due to your store policy" (which is true at a lot of supermarket chains where I live).
If a cashier wants to be an asshole I can be a dick.
I've never heard of a store giving things away free because they rang up incorrectly. Correcting the price, sure, or maybe giving the few customers who make a stink about it an extra discount, but giving it away for free?
Some places in Canada follow a scanning code. The basics of it is, if an item scans higher at the till than is listed on the shelf the customer is entitled to ; the item free if its less than $10 or if it's more than $10 they are eligible for $10 off the price.
Well then... I guess now I've heard of it. Learn something new every day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm at it's if they have to go and check the marked price on the shelf. If they fix it right there I doubt anything happens.
From my understanding this is a pretty standard thing, stores often put an upper limit to the policy but they still employ it.
Every time I've got it I didn't even ask for it. The cashier or somebody doing the shelves messed up and the manager/supervisor did it right away after checking the shelf price.
Well, I suppose an unnecessary kind gesture lets the customer leave the store pleasantly surprised rather than mildly annoyed, and that's good for business overall. It probably also helps to smooth things over that the transaction took longer than it should have. I've never heard of any store around my area doing that, but it's apparently more common than I would have guessed.
Most stores have a policy where they give away free stuff to assholes. It's part of a national program to promote assholism. It's primarily an awareness campaign, but it also works to subsidize struggling assholes.
That's the worst. Waiters/waitresses saying "Oh you were hungry" after food was finished is annoying as hell. Of course I'm hungry that's why I'm here
tonpole ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:33:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. I'm not even overweight and I feel like they're judging me for finishing my meal. Tell the cooks to stop making the food so damned delicious if you don't want me to eat it.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:58:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No! They hate their job and the people they have to serve so they'd rather you just be nice, quiet and completely devoid of humanity rather than actually have a human interaction with you.
That'd honestly be enough for me to not return. So what if you hear the same joke over and over? There's no reason to treat your customers like that. It's called "the service industry" for a reason.
Source: in customer service, been in the service industry for years.
If you hear it often enough, anything can be annoying.
ItsWolt ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:26:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a joke but "Hey, I have a quick question, can you tell me where blank is? Oh you're on register all day and aren't suppose to know this information? Well, you should know this! You do work here after all! storms away angrily"
I get this at least once a day. Along with all the "wont ring up, guess it's free" and "i just printed those this morning" as mention before.
Hakoten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a specific department and pretty much never see the rest of the store unless I have to go get something and pretty much every time I get people asking me where stuff is.
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I almost never leave the front end where the registers are so I just point people to the other end of the store lol.
I work in IT in a large office and often have to fix computers that won't boot up or printers that won't print and I usually do this wherever they happen to be located, which is usually out in the middle of the office surrounded by cubicles.
At least 10 times per day someone walks by and says "What'd you break this time?" or "Uh oh, ya broke it!" Ha Ha Ha Ha like that's the first time anyone's ever said that.
you should hear "hold the pickle no mayo" at a pizza place where I've worked at through high school and into college. Every weekday he says the same thing at the end of his order. Nice guy, but man... I get it, relax.
It gets hard to even pretend to find it amusing when I have to deal with that everyday in between classes. There's plenty others too, but that joke was terrible in the first place.
ddpowkk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:29:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading all of the replies to this and I realized this comment section must be the most purely concentrated vat of cynicism, pessimism and just plain bad vibes that I have ever been exposed to. Its like being friendly to the cashier is like the fucking holocaust. I hate this kind of attitude we have towards eachother in society, even if some of you are trying to go overboard for yucks. Be nice
As a former cashier/waitress/barstaff/etc it isn't the friendly that bothers, it's the use of the same joke by 30 people every shift. I was never rude to anyone who said them, but I was screaming internally.
ddpowkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would prefer that to the humdrum silence and interpersonal apathy
Not to be a buzzkill, but that wasn't the Cashier's joke.
The guy who had to sit through hell to program it (cashier machines are the most frustrating pieces of junk to program) had a boring day and made the receipt print that.
_toro ยท -50 points ยท Posted at 23:15:12 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When he asked for the same condoms he's been buying there for the last year he told the guy to shove it up his ass and sell him some diapers
Typically the state doesn't care if you change tax for something that doesn't need it, or charge too much. All they care about is that anything you charge as tax has to be paid to them.
nexus9 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:35:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So long as we get our cut, we're happy"
smowe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:03:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recall a minor scandal when people realized Starbucks charged tax on everything instead of just the stuff they had to to simplify their POS rules. I think they only technically had to tax prepared food but put it on everything, not totally sure.
As long as you don't try and make up a tax. You can make up a fee or a charge all you want, and you can tax made up charges as you normally would tax something, but don't call it a tax unless it's a legitimate tax.
In the state that I do business in, if I charge tax on something that doesn't require tax, like a service, I'm require to pay the tax to the state. Otherwise, they don't seem to care.
I don't quite understand the necessity of comments like this. If it actually happened or he thought up the clever joke and did it, either way, it is an attempt at Karma and deserved.
On moderate effort posts, you're right. On low effort posts that are essentially stories, humble brags, sob stories, etc. It is annoying when it is obvious that it was obviously fabricated. I think this post straddles the line because it had to take effort, so OP didn't just edit an image (I hope) but I haven't seen OP say why there even was the charge so the post feels like it lacks any real context. It's a fine line some times and I'm just being contrary and trying to defend people who look like assholes for being tired of seeing made up low effort posts. Look up bad /r/tifu posts for examples of very low effort posts mixed in with posts that straddle the line.
For simple jokes like this I completely agree. You wouldn't get mad at a comedian for telling a "this happened to me" joke that is obviously fake. Experiencing actual funny situations shouldn't be a requirement for creating a good joke.
Its like a puzzle/game that some of us enjoy. If it actually happened or OP is a bundle of sticks, either way, it is /u/WickedTriggered's attempt at Karma and deserved.
vandoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this looks like a restaurant or bar tab, and there is no way an owner would let their employees ring in everything as "misc", inventory control is way too important to not know what is selling and what isnt
I guess you give more fucks than I do about lame shit, although maybe not since I cared enough about your post to point it out. I suppose I just don't understand why people care so much about someone getting fake internet points to be a tool about it.
when you go to the warewhare or the dairy and buy yourself some of that Lemon and Paeroa, mate, you just bought yourself some pop.
vandoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chicago, Illinois and much of the rest of the midwestern US call soda "pop". It may sound stupid until you realize in the southern United States they call all of those drinks a "coke" and
If a cashier ever asks me if I want someone to carry something to my car for me, I am going to say yes, then walk out of the parking lot and say "I parked at home, we have quite a walk ahead of us"
vandoh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:32:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those idiots wouldn't even realize they had been duped.
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just say "hey, I got an important job for ya, want it? Ok, go help this annoying old lady out to her car with her 4 boxes of wine and other groceries and be sure to be friendly even though she doesn't thank you for helping!"
I had a customer do the exact thing...
The seller should also have a record of sale. I can make a receipt saying I bought something and want you to "return" $50 to me, but you obviously know that I'm lying because you have no memory of ever selling it to me.
If a third party needs to use receipts to determine who is telling the truth, stores can use authentication systems like bar codes and serial numbers, something a person couldn't just make up on the spot. It's the same way you can prevent fake currency from working.
Simba7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And how is it false? The only reason businesses charge standard prices is because nobody would go anywhere near them if they didn't. As long as you are upfront about your charges and don't discriminate on protected classes, you can charge anyone whatever you want for your goods and services.
You don't have to actively hide them for it to be cramming. The burden to make the customer aware of the charges lies on the one placing the charges.
So basically by "As long as you don't discriminate based on protected classes, you can charge whoever you want whatever you want." you mean "They could possibly have charged it legally if they clearly had it posted in a location where the customer would have a reasonable opportunity to see it prior to the charge. Unless they live in one of the many places where this charge would considered unlawful based on the novelty to perform the service in proportion to the amount charged. Honestly, there's a lot of things that would make this illegal other than just discrimination, which is a kinda obvious one so it would be unnecessary to even bring up in the first place."
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YRWYS ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:48:03 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your sandwich is not toasted or the meat is not microwaved and served cold, ask for it to go. You won't get charged sales tax... Least that's how it works in California. If its hot OR dine-in, they charge tax.
Side note. If you ask for it to go, you can still sit down and eat in the restaurant. Subway staff won't enforce it as the tax is mandated the government. They don't care whether or not you sit down to eat or charge sales tax, as long as they don't get in trouble
_tx ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:51:40 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most states charge sales tax based on ready to eat vs needs to be prepared. Generally, a cold sandwich is still ready to eat.
YRWYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the sandwich needs to be prepared gets taxed and the ready to eat doesn't?
_tx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ready to eat generally taxed.
And easier example is that a loaf of bread is a component in a meal so it's non taxable, but a pbj sandwich is a final product so it is taxable.
Uoop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like something you see in a Seinfeld episode.
(jazz riff, scene opens with Jerry, George and Elaine hanging out at Monk's. George goes to pay for his coffee when he notices an old receipt in one of his pockets)
George : Huh......guys, would you take a look at this real quick?
Elaine : What? It's just a receipt.
George : Read it.
Elaine : Okay, so it doesn't have the name of the store or the clerk. So what?
Jerry : This is, quite literally, the most generic receipt ever.
George : Not that! Look at that, down there.
Elaine : Ooooooh, the smartass charge?
George : YES! Of course the smartass charge!!!
Elaine : (laughing)
Jerry : It's a small price to pay there, Georgie.
George : What?! No that's not the poin-I'm not a smartass!
Most thrift stores don't have an itemized bill. It'll just say like 'clothing' or 'misc' and I've been to a hardware store that did the same thing. Old guy running it, you'd haggle over just about everything but he was really fair.
Because adding charges to someones receipt at a counter for things they aren't actually buying and not telling them about it is completely illegal?
Twons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:42:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. They said "$31.86" and he paid it. He agreed to that total price. It doesn't matter if one of the things was a smart-ass charge. He agreed that price was fair for his basket of goods.
The average person tends to become an absolute idiot when in a retail environment.
Source: Worked retail for almost 4 years, these customers have no common sense.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doubt it. People are frugal and getting charged a quarter of a dollar because the cashier is in a bad move is terrible PR.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:10 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:44 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, who said I seen it as negative? Dude asked a question and I gave an answer. I think it's pretty funny but also it's a pretty shitty thing to sneak onto a bill so I'd be pretty upset if it happened to me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:52:32 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, because getting upset over someone sneaking an extra charge on my bill because they're in a bad mood is totally unreasonable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:57:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you owe a charity $2 for this comment thread. a .25c charge for every comment because you're being insufferable. /s
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind paying. If we added a whinny little cunt charge you might need to run to the ATM.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes I would. I'd have to go get the money for a plane ticket to fly to wherever the fuck you're from and shove a roll of quarters down your throat so you could pay the charity. What they're doing is illegal without disclosing the surcharge. This is literally theft. I don't care what you think is reasonable because clearly your view of what is reasonable is so heavily skewed you can't see why someone might get upset when they can't afford whatever they're buying because some uppity cunt behind the register is having a bad day.
Edit: and before you try to argue that it isn't theft, theft includes receiving money via deception (ie, adding a nonsensical charge without informing the customer)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's going to be another whinny little cunt charge. You agreed to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pay it when you can learn to spell whiny.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's theft of services if you don't, you agreed to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what service am I stealing? Am I wasting your companies time because you're redditing on the shitter? If you're going to troll at least make a half-assed attempt to sound like you know what you're talking about. Guess I'll have to point out that I only agreed to pay the charge when you learned to spell whiny, and didn't agree to it previously. Good day, shitter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you normally this angry about photos on the Internet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I didn't know that you were a living, talking receipt.
I was a DJ at a bar that had "flair" bartenders. They had a button on their till that added 25-cents to the bill if they did something "flairy". They could hit it as many times as they wanted and it went into their pocket at the end of the night.
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If someone acts like a dick to me I just purposely smash their bread. If any manager questions me about it i'll blame it on a bagger who I can't remember who it was because it was over an hour ago...
That or subtly add like 5 cents to the price of some items just so it's not obvious.
PC509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:35 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad this is on /r/funny. After some of the others, you'd expect it to be front page news trying to get people fired and sued.
I'd gladly pay that, and long as they were smartasses, too. :D I love visiting places where they are cool and can joke around like that.
Saved comment
seifer666 ยท 807 points ยท Posted at 22:44:31 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you pay 8.25 for.misc when you can get it for 6?
Cryptokhan ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 00:14:46 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Smart-ass charges, buying the wrong MISC... OP is bad with his money.
ASurplusofChefs ยท 395 points ยท Posted at 03:16:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
beacausehe was messing around with a receipt printer and couldn't be bothered to create actual items and names for the joke
abkleinig ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 03:52:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
ASurplusofChefs ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 04:32:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. It's a generic receipt with misc repeated and on clerk 01s account lol
Yeah. That's totally a legit receipt
Karaisk ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:09:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a manager at a Fabrication Retail shop. The buttons to categorise products we have are, Cut to Size, Fabrication, Fiberglass, Misc, and one or two others we never bother with. My employees are C10, 11, and 12
This seems entirely possible.
TheLastOpus ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:19:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a major retail store....you'd be surprised how many things are not only labbled as merchandise or misc. but some are totally wrong.
seditious3 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 06:11:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is labble formed?
FatComputerGuy ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:02:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They need to do way instain printer> who kill thier labbles. becuse these labble cant frigth back?
Insignial ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:13:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was on the receipt this mroing!
gmdavestevens ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:46:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A cashier in ar who had sold her 3 lids.
LoonAtticRakuro ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:45:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When a printer loves a paper...
abkleinig ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 08:26:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Hoax13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:02:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Instain clrks.
phroug2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ever read one of those comments that inexplicably makes you completely lose your shit in a fit of uncontrollable laughter? Well yours just did that for me. I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Just wanted to say thanks for that.
seditious3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, a first for me.
radical0rabbit ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:38:39 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some dollar stores are actually this lazy with their stock descriptions.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:05:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
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AtilKinDH ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:08:56 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
their*
Iznik ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:28:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mother's would have been a reasonable catch too.
Ekoobs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's it, I'm calling /u/PitchForkEmporium
PitchforkEmporium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Howdy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chuck998 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:58:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't let you own people anymore.
shapookya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
except in sports
physalisx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a quarter?
DownTrunk ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 21:13:17 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of shitty, overused jokes did you try on the cashier?
friday6700 ยท 1641 points ยท Posted at 23:26:18 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Won't ring up? Guess that means it's free! Haha!"
longstairs ยท 647 points ยท Posted at 23:36:20 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a retail man, this is so painful to hear. Every. Time.
KneeDrop1T ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 23:45:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Along with "Oh, I just printed that bill this morning!" Nothing makes you become more stabby.
FilmmakerRyan ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 02:33:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a credit union, I hear that one so many times.
The one I hear most though, when I'm giving cash back, is, "If you want to give me a few extra hundreds, I won't mind hur-hur-hur!"
DIE
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:32:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they gotta be a good guy like me that just makes specific, simple requests, takes my money and asks out the female cashiers 2-4 times.
Madux37 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:11:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I usually don't even ask. Just quietly slip the clerk a note stating my requested withdrawal, while pointing at it with my hand in my jacket pocket.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:18:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh same but only when I'm riding my motorcycle. Can't talk so well through a helmet.
wine-o-saur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you threatening me, sir?"
theabracist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:12:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"did you? I'm sorry, I'm supposed to report this type of thing to the fbi." picks up phone
macschmayonaise ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 00:08:39 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Most overused joke at my store. Along with while im power washing the sidewalk, "get my car too while you're at it".
Graffy ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should do it and powerwash a dick into their paint.
macschmayonaise ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 01:18:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha I would love to do that.
jadraxx ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 01:41:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS! DO IT!!!!!!!
siccoblue ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 02:02:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the camera, otherwise it's not a prank, it's just a crime
improbablewobble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:07 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Just like how without a camera, porn is just prostitution, which is a crime. Interesting.
Negativ3- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just like Red Dead Redemption, no witness, no crime
YenTheMerchant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So meta
Behind8Proxies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.theloop.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/mal5l.gif
fizyplankton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Here lies squidward's hopes and dreams
Joey208 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:57:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
JUST. DO IT!
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or just half their car. Like, the bottom third of their car is nicely pressure washed, but the top half is still dirty
11equals7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:16 on June 15, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_graffiti
fairfieldbordercolli ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:38:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or hold the power washer about 1/4" away from their car's paint.
The car would be REALLY clean then.
3076613 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:10:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...That was the implication.
fairfieldbordercolli ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:18:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I misread that as powerwash their dick.
Either one would suck.
nexus9 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 00:34:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some of the more powerful washers, like the heated ones (hotsies?), will take paint off if you get too close. You could really powerwash a dick into their paint
flecktonesfan ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 00:43:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that's the exact point the previous commenter was making.
nexus9 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:56:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I was picturing a very dirty car
TenchC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woosh
letsplayyatzee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hottie tottie power washie - British power washer
skobombers ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 01:10:41 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Anything else?"
"a million dollars would be nice! Hyuck hyuck hyuck"
TomatoSlayer ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 03:40:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"The winning lotto numbers! Haw haw haw haw!"
LobsterPunchhh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:21:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for my state's lottery. Whenever people find out where I work there I hear this idiotic joke. Every. Single. Time.
dandroid126 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:12:59 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh. You work for the lotto? Could you get me those numbers? Haw haw haw.
t0mserv0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's your state/job?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yeah I bet that gets annoying.
But seriously give me the fucking numbers.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:03:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
GletscherEis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:14:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a lottery as well, "If I could do that, I wouldn't be working there would I?" shuts most people up.
008660100108 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry, already gave them away earlier"
Middle_o_nowhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I over charge people who use a shitty joke and hope they never return for the correction.
Kangaroosters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
gives it to you then charges you $1,000,000
Hammer_Jackson ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 01:22:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I clean windows, I get this ALL the time, along with "missed a spot! ๐".... Fuck you random person, I'm trying to do my job....
Assdolf_Shitler ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 04:25:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone crashed into our store last summer and left a large dent/hole in the front wall. I swear to god every old dad in town flocked to my register to say "I didn't know you guys had a drive through." The old men in the back of the line couldn't hear the guy at the counter so every man said that same joke. It was my hell.
NewTransformation ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:59:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You missed a spot!"
crackedchinacup ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:02:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are all things my dad says -.-
TSTUMPMAN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:07:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't happen to work at a wawa do you?
crunkadocious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bust their windows out with it and wash the inside real good, especially the stereo
chairfairy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:44:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should oblige. They'll learn what high pressure water does to a paint job.
adhesivebuttocks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:52:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It won't do much unless it's already peeling or chipping off.
chairfairy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, no you can take paint off a car. You have to get very close with a proper high pressure, but it'll do it
toddthewraith ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:18:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for anything $20 or more, we have to use the counterfit detection marker. customers stopped making that joke when i responded with "i'm just making sure you did it right". bonus points if you derail their train of thought.
MattDaCatt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:48:14 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sadly i use the "Nice job on the fake" joke far too often
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:18:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
RexArcana ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:02:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Secret Service's jurisdiction, actually.
vouuxx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:09:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why's that? I thought their sole duty was to protect public officials.
RexArcana ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:51:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Secret Service's initial responsibility was to investigate counterfeiting of U.S. currency, which was rampant following the U.S. Civil War. The agency then evolved into the United States' first domestic intelligence and counterintelligence agency. Though most of its duties have since been absorbed by other agencies like ATF and FBI.
vouuxx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:55:01 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I see. Thanks for answering.
tlingitsoldier ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:36:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So investigating counterfeit isn't one of the duties absorbed by the FBI?
ASurplusofChefs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:19:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or just take them seriously and say "really sir? I'm gonna have to ask you to stay right there" and then you phone security to your register over the loudspeaker whether you have it or not.
I bet by that time the dude will be trying to explain it was a joke so hard he'll never do it again.
don't know how long you'll keep that job though.
Unique_Name_2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:18:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I picture you stabbing them, your boss and the police ask what happened, you say "they said it again" and face no consequences.
hacksbeenjamin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:17 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've started telling people that I can no longer legally accept a bill after you say that, followed up with "nah, I'm just kiddin'!" and take the bill from em.
That mini "oh shi-" that the have is great, and I'd like to hope that maybe they will think twice about using that line again.
I would also like to point out that this is a pretty obviously faked receipt. If that were the receipt handed to you after paying, it would show the amount you've paid, and what your change was.
Additionally, even an extremely basic cash register is capable of programming items into it. They aren't that expensive, and could very easily be found for cheap used.
ConfessionsAway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Careful, inks still wet!" -.-
KkylelykK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Looks just like a real one. I say that, not because I heard it but BC I thought it, is that common?
LaboratoryManiac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always respond to that by saying, in a very serious tone, "I'm sorry, sir/ma'am, but since you've said that, I can no longer accept this bill," and hand it back to them.
I tell them I'm kidding a few seconds later, and we both have a laugh about it, but their shocked and disappointed responses to it makes hearing that same joke over and over worth it.
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I'll have to call my manager over, excuse me. Company policy, we take counterfeit bills very seriously"
"Oh, it was a joke? I see. Well, I can just put a tag on your account and continue for now, I suppose.."
eeyore134 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:26:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least say "The ink on that one might still be a bit wet." or something a tad more clever if you have to use this joke.
swoledrugdealer ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:45:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a pharmacy technician and some lady said that about her oxycodone. I'm like biiiittttcchhhh.
[deleted] ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 02:38:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But you said bitch though.
friday6700 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:56:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You know it is! Haha, but seriously only the first taste's free."
MC41169 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or suboxone or norco or anything that costs money.
swoledrugdealer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone ask for, "the big 96 count box of pseudoephedrine." (It's used to make meth by the way)
swizzy12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
redditorrrrrrrrrrrr ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:29:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Every fucking day in retail, now I'm in financial services and what everyone says to tellers is equally as annoying.
Teller: "what can I help you with today?"
Customer: "a big bag of money for free would great"
Haha hhahahaha becuase I haven't heard that today 65 times.
MrTPHR ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:18:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the GARDA driver comes in to pick up the drop for the day...
Customer: "Hey, you could just put that in my car." GARDA: "Excuse me?" Customer: "HaHa just put the money in my trunk" GARDA:"Sir, it's a federal crime to..." something professional and lawyerish sounding. Customer: "I was joking. Sorry" GARDA: (Sternly)" Attempted robbery is no joke, sir."
The GARDA man then walks out the door, looking back at me laughing while the customer finishes the transaction deadpan.
Shloop_Shloop_Splat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:01:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, I love our regular GARDA guy at work. Everyone is intimidated by him and I don't get it. Dude's totally cool.
lpmark04 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:43:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think Garda hires the "you shouldn't fuck with him" type on purpose. I've never seen one not look like he's just waiting to get robbed so he can unleash his under pressure can of whoop ass on some unsuspecting criminal. There are much easier ways to get free money.
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God that is hilarious
ladybugclub ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:06:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh nobody can help me, I am beyond help"
crunkadocious ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Ok, bye."
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:11:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is my answer of "Crack Cocaine Please" annoying?
travis- ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:56:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Id always say "Actually yeah it is" and when they respond "really!?" just say no with the most dead panned look.
fixgeer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:59:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I didn't like my job I so would
travis- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:27:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
never really got in trouble for it, most people took it as the joke it was.
Chaosfreak610 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that's great. I'd imagine that drops a few people's smiles, lol.
xMau5 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:47:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The most painful thing to hear for me is when I ask how their day is going and they start spouting off their phone number to get the discout. bitch u can come enter it on the credit card reader yourself you fucking whore
AjBlue7 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:43:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost worse to be with someone that makes a dad joke at the restaurant and then you have to sit there watching the waitress trying her hardest to force a fake laugh and smile.
FrancisCastiglione12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:17 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Especially at a Chinese or Mexican restaurant when the jokes get a little ethnic.
tlingitsoldier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You may be interested in hearing this case: http://www.maximumfun.org/judge-john-hodgman/judge-john-hodgman-episode-265-dad-nauseum
It involves a horrible dad joke, and confusing the wait staff with it.
Lameflamedalyn ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:28:36 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your soul dies a little bit each time
Sea_of_Blue ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:50:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well would you rather that, or people being a douche? I'll take the corny over used jokes.
HeMakesAVodkaDrink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More painful than hearing yourself say "as a retail man"?
somerandomwordss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:46:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had never heard this bit until reddit, now I use it every chance to torment cashiers.
Siniroth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:17:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Am I allowed to say it if the item can't scan at all? Walmart manager had to make up a price ($50, suckers, it was $80 earlier that week on the online listing) because we wanted to buy a cat tree that according to their system and online didn't exist anymore
mikarm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it bad that I make those jokes just because I know how painful they are from experience? When you get a blank stare back you know you've found a seasoned retail worker.
daredaki-sama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not even in retail. It's painfully awkward when I hear this as well.
chevymonza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My apologies. I've probably used this. Just a way to pass time while waiting.
Joey208 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been there. I sure as hell dont miss those days.
apocalypsebaconstrip ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a prior retail man, the best comeback i've ever had is to just hand it to them and say "You're right that sounds reasonable" in the most dry tone possible. Usually they would hand it right back to me while avoiding eye contact the rest of their visit.
craftygamergirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am slowly getting my revenge. Every time someone doesn't have change and gives me a bill, when I hand it back, I say "Now you won't be walking around without any common cents!" or, as they hand me the bill "Are you telling me you don't have any cents?" It never gets old for me, but I'd be open to more groaners to throw back at customers.
RubberReptile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every time customers say that I launch into an elaborate description of the last dozen times I've heard the joke that week. That usually shuts 'em up.
Edit: Or I'll sarcastically say, "oh my God that's so funny I've totally never heard that before!" And go on in a similar vain until they feel bad about themselves. I shouldn't deal with customers...
ronninguru ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Just means it's not for sale. Bye bye.
BestPersonOnTheNet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One time I said that, the clerk just shrugged his shoulders and tossed the item in the bag. I'm not sure if I should use that line every time or never again.
Boboblaw7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm at work right now (in retail) and I've heard this twice already today. It's hard to fake laugh at the same dumb shit every day.
Ironandsteel ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 00:08:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im a cashier. I hear this about 5 times a day. I always just say "that joke gets funnier the more you hear it"
Comrade_Nugget ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:47:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might laugh the first time i hear it every day or so but after that i act like they never said it and ignore them
AjBlue7 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:44:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you say this in a deadpan. Now that would be funny to watch.
bag_of_oatmeal ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:45:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I had a cashier joke that to me one time. I couldn't believe it.
friday6700 ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 01:54:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"You don't get to use that line! That's OUR line!"
Aw_Rats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:35:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snv8xFTVjNg
flecktonesfan ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 00:46:39 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The correct response is to look them dead in the eye and say "why would that mean it's free?"
If they then attempt to explain the joke, you ask them "so if something mistakenly scans for more than the actual price, you pay the overage?"
sillyhumins ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 01:49:17 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow you must be fun at parties
friday6700 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:55:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone needs to speak with his manager.
ForgettableUsername ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:23:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I learned recently that if I invite clients to my parties instead of friends, I can write everything off as business expenses.
tlingitsoldier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just have your friends pay you $1 for your services, and now their your clients. No need to invite your actual clients for the write off.
flecktonesfan ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:04:11 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The customer says their dumb joke to amuse themselves. The cashier sucks all the fun out of it to watch the customer squirm, for their own amusement. Society is potentially better off, because the customer might be shamed into never making that stupid joke again. I have a pretty good sense of humor, but a tired old joke is a tired old joke... it offends my sense of humor when people use those jokes in a non-ironic way.
denkyuu ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:10:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes anti-humor is the best way to kill bad humor.
Orionite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The customer makes a joke to lighten up an otherwise boring uncommunicative situation. You sure service is the right sector for you?
flecktonesfan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:35:20 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's definitely not. It was a second job because I needed the money. I got out as soon as I got a raise at my main job. And for the record, I don't mind a friendly customer, but those tired old "jokes" that every moron with two brain cells diarrheas out their mouth, they get old really fast.
rennsteig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that is what I get from this thread: don't bother to make banter with the help.
flecktonesfan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely true. If the employee is already talkative, then by all means go for it, but if they're quiet, they're either shy, which means you won't get much anyway; they're tired, which means you won't get much anyway; or they're in a pissy mood, which means you'll just be annoying the bejesus out of them regardless of what you say.
dtech12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So if the cashier is an asshole to me for some reason... tell them this joke? Got it!
flecktonesfan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:45:11 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, there are lots of dumb jokes to annoy cashiers. This one's fairly specific to the situation - an item rarely fails to scan.
Also popular is "you looked bored, I thought I'd give you something to do" when there's an empty line. That one really stings if it's been a busy day, because it's likely the first time the employee's had 2 seconds to catch their breath.
dtech12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god thats new, just made me cringe imaging it, I don't think I could tell these jokes anyway.
PM_Me_Whatever_lol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
holy fuck the number of times i get this a day. Yes, congratulations. I was yawning and stretching because I've been serving customers non stop for the last 4 hours and you just caught a quiet moment
sillyhumins ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 02:41:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Okay, I see now, I must be talking to some sulky jaded dickbag retail worker. i bet you wouldn't say that to somebody out of nowhere just because they made a dumb joke, and just daydream about how all the customers suck and are stupid and couldn't possibly be as smart and no-nonsense as you. Get over yourself
flecktonesfan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People use the phrase "get over yourself" too often, and most often incorrectly. In what way have I indicated that I'm full of myself? Because I expressed annoyance at a lame, way overused joke that was never funny in the first place?
For the record, I am no longer a cashier. I worked as a pharmacy technician for several years as a second job (8 -15 hours per week on top of my 40 hour full time job), which did include running register as well as all the other pharmacy duties (except verifying filled prescriptions and advising patients, which by law can only be done by the pharmacist.) So yes, given my slightly elongated work week, the shitty hours I worked to fit around my full time job, and the high stress level that goes along with retail pharmacy, I wasn't always in the type of mood necessary to smile through annoying customers. If a customer was friendly, or had something original and funny to say, great - those customers were awesome. But if you're going to roll up with your unfunny stupid shit that a million people before you have already said, don't expect everyone to give you a courtesy laugh.
sillyhumins ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:33:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody even goes in expecting a courtesy laugh, but stomping on someone's joke like that is overkill IMO.
crunkadocious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:01 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Find retail worker that isn't jaded and I'll promote them until they are jaded.
mcguire ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:07 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get a lot of repeat business?
flecktonesfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not the owner, didn't care :)
And obviously, I never REALLY said that to a customer. I would sometimes give them a two second dead stare before resuming the checkout process, but even a jaded employee like me knows where the line is.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:10:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro, you on the spectrum
ForgettableUsername ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:14 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, everyone is on the autistic spectrum, because a full spectrum goes from one extreme to the other. Totally non-autistic people, if they exist, are on the extreme non-autistic end.
crunkadocious ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:40:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not how spectrums work. The visible light spectrum doesn't include gamma radiation even though they're both wave thingies.
journalissue ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:49:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ForgettableUsername ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Electromagnetic spectrum does. Touchรฉ.
crunkadocious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not touche at all considering they are different spectrums that cover different things. The autism spectrum isn't meant to cover all humans, just those who satisfy diagnostic criteria to be on the spectrum.
ForgettableUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Visible light and gamma radiation are both on the electromagnetic spectrum. It's the same spectrum.
In other contexts, it's a gradient between two extremes. In the case of autism, it would be maximally autistic on one end and not autistic at all on the other end, and everything else in between. That's actually what the definition of the word is. You can choose not to believe that if you want, but you would be choosing to be wrong.
crunkadocious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:56 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, to say someone is on the spectrum is to make a diagnostic claim about their health. There are a wide range of individuals that aren't "on the spectrum" and differ in degrees. To claim anything else is both pedantic and wrong, a rare idiotic mistake to make. Similarly if I asked you where gamma radiation is on the rainbow you wouldn't have an answer worth hearing because you wouldn't be able to engage that question in good faith.
ForgettableUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:11 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gamma radiation isn't within the band of visible light, but it is on the same spectrum of electromagnetic radiation.
You don't understand the technical meaning of the term spectrum. Look it up in a dictionary, or continue to misunderstand the meaning of the word; I do not care.
crunkadocious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And all things are on the spectrum of verbs, adjectives, prepositions, etc. Context trumps idiocy in this case. Look some shit up yourself dude.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro..... You on the wrong side of that spectrum
RansomIblis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:08 on June 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In Canada, we have the Scanning Code of Practice. If it rang up as more than the actual price, we'd get it free or $10 off, whichever is lesser.
flecktonesfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:24 on June 12, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But what if it simply failed to ring up at all? If you scan it, and the register beeps, but nothing shows up on the screen at all? That's the situation where this tired old joke is most often used.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:36:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
flecktonesfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't get it."
For a joke to be funny, it has to make sense on some level. The goal is to shut them down by taking the humor away. It inherently becomes less funny to them if you force them to explain it.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The response to the second question would be "No, it would be free due to your store policy" (which is true at a lot of supermarket chains where I live).
If a cashier wants to be an asshole I can be a dick.
flecktonesfan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:19:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of a store giving things away free because they rang up incorrectly. Correcting the price, sure, or maybe giving the few customers who make a stink about it an extra discount, but giving it away for free?
NWOntario420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some places in Canada follow a scanning code. The basics of it is, if an item scans higher at the till than is listed on the shelf the customer is entitled to ; the item free if its less than $10 or if it's more than $10 they are eligible for $10 off the price.
flecktonesfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well then... I guess now I've heard of it. Learn something new every day.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm at it's if they have to go and check the marked price on the shelf. If they fix it right there I doubt anything happens.
From my understanding this is a pretty standard thing, stores often put an upper limit to the policy but they still employ it.
Every time I've got it I didn't even ask for it. The cashier or somebody doing the shelves messed up and the manager/supervisor did it right away after checking the shelf price.
flecktonesfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I suppose an unnecessary kind gesture lets the customer leave the store pleasantly surprised rather than mildly annoyed, and that's good for business overall. It probably also helps to smooth things over that the transaction took longer than it should have. I've never heard of any store around my area doing that, but it's apparently more common than I would have guessed.
ForgettableUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most stores have a policy where they give away free stuff to assholes. It's part of a national program to promote assholism. It's primarily an awareness campaign, but it also works to subsidize struggling assholes.
flecktonesfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, but despite popular theory, the majority of people are not assholes to store employees. The assholes just make the most noise.
ForgettableUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:36 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, yeah, obviously; they are the most important.
manletbeater69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:53:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Theres a sale on all drugs today btw Them: HUR DUR DRUGS?! Im gonna have to call your manager son
Such is pharmacy life
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:23:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be .25ยข you sonofah...
IndyAJD ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1st day as a cashier today. This lady must've made 10 such comments.
diphiminaids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know at Kroger if an item rings up the wrong price it's free
djdylex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does ring up mean???
ColinOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:17:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/8I_h1AHuNY0
Bubbles_the_Titan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:44:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, out means I can charge whatever I want, and I usually go by how many times ice heard that joke.
HubertTempleton ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:32:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โDo you want to have the receipt?โ
โNah, I'm not getting any tax returns for it anyway hahahahahaโ
Wow, so creative.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Go die.
BLAME_THE_ALIENS ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 01:56:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a restaurant. Our equivalent is "oh I hated it" when their plate is squeaky clean.
denkyuu ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 02:11:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually had waiters ask me if I hated it after I had cleared my plate... :/
Mecha_Derp ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:35:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the worst. Waiters/waitresses saying "Oh you were hungry" after food was finished is annoying as hell. Of course I'm hungry that's why I'm here
tonpole ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:33:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that. I'm not even overweight and I feel like they're judging me for finishing my meal. Tell the cooks to stop making the food so damned delicious if you don't want me to eat it.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:58:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SlapMyHams ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:58:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only Jesus can judge m-... Oh.
agile52 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or when the waiter comes back and is shocked the plate is clean after 5 minutes.
crunkadocious ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:42:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's like dude this is my lunch break I don't have all day bring the check.
apocalypsebaconstrip ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:26:54 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"How about some dessert... coffee..." TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY IM FINISHED FUCK
Alphe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:20:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thats a simple way of making sure you're finished. We want you to leave just as fast as you want to lol.
AjBlue7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Some say that hate is the source of love
fuck_bestbuy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
shit am i ever allowed to make jokes around you fucks
Sombrero-Fallout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No! They hate their job and the people they have to serve so they'd rather you just be nice, quiet and completely devoid of humanity rather than actually have a human interaction with you.
dos_user ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:11 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
After the server asks, anything else? My grandma likes to say, some winning loto numbers. /cringe
SenselessNoise ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 02:20:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps you're missing the sarcasm?
TheBoiledHam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:38 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hence the "smartass charge"
SenselessNoise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'd honestly be enough for me to not return. So what if you hear the same joke over and over? There's no reason to treat your customers like that. It's called "the service industry" for a reason.
Source: in customer service, been in the service industry for years.
sambar101 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:48:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite to do is when they give me the credit card receipt to sign i say "Save it one day it'll be worth Millions!"
DownTrunk ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:50:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That will be $.25.
sambar101 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:51:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can i pay with credit card?
TylerDurdenRP ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:53:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure swipes sign here
sambar101 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:19:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Save it, one day it'll be worth Millions!"
dkarpe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:22:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That will be $.25.
sambar101 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can i pay with credit card?
Blue_Adapt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The transaction fees to process those swipes is gonna be a bad time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:48:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't original. Knock it off.
spazturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because its annoying and they're laughing because they have to.
spazturtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And? Do you not understand the point of the service industry?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To make idiots not feel like idiots, of course.
laurababora ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:50:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a medical assistant. Every time I bring a patient back: "Wow! It's a maze back here!" Or "I better leave a trail of bread crumbs HaHaHa"
I respond with "Yes we like to keep our patients captive."
Kill me.
rennsteig ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:30:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it Misanthrope's Day on Reddit?
This thread makes me believe that we best not talk to each other anymore, apparently everything is just annoying.
laurababora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you hear it often enough, anything can be annoying.
ItsWolt ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:26:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not a joke but "Hey, I have a quick question, can you tell me where blank is? Oh you're on register all day and aren't suppose to know this information? Well, you should know this! You do work here after all! storms away angrily" I get this at least once a day. Along with all the "wont ring up, guess it's free" and "i just printed those this morning" as mention before.
Hakoten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a specific department and pretty much never see the rest of the store unless I have to go get something and pretty much every time I get people asking me where stuff is.
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I almost never leave the front end where the registers are so I just point people to the other end of the store lol.
thematt924 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:13:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT in a large office and often have to fix computers that won't boot up or printers that won't print and I usually do this wherever they happen to be located, which is usually out in the middle of the office surrounded by cubicles.
At least 10 times per day someone walks by and says "What'd you break this time?" or "Uh oh, ya broke it!" Ha Ha Ha Ha like that's the first time anyone's ever said that.
Iamgoingtooffendyou ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I used this one today on a cashier who was changing the paper roll on the cash register. "Do you need more rolling paper?"
DownTrunk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$.25
GankSpankRepeat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Working at Tim Hortons, every time I clean the floor. "Oh, you missed a spot" haha. Makes me wanna clock em with the mop
pstabe17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should hear "hold the pickle no mayo" at a pizza place where I've worked at through high school and into college. Every weekday he says the same thing at the end of his order. Nice guy, but man... I get it, relax.
It gets hard to even pretend to find it amusing when I have to deal with that everyday in between classes. There's plenty others too, but that joke was terrible in the first place.
ddpowkk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:29:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Reading all of the replies to this and I realized this comment section must be the most purely concentrated vat of cynicism, pessimism and just plain bad vibes that I have ever been exposed to. Its like being friendly to the cashier is like the fucking holocaust. I hate this kind of attitude we have towards eachother in society, even if some of you are trying to go overboard for yucks. Be nice
darth_unicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As a former cashier/waitress/barstaff/etc it isn't the friendly that bothers, it's the use of the same joke by 30 people every shift. I was never rude to anyone who said them, but I was screaming internally.
ddpowkk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would prefer that to the humdrum silence and interpersonal apathy
Never-asked-for-this ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:04:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be a buzzkill, but that wasn't the Cashier's joke.
The guy who had to sit through hell to program it (cashier machines are the most frustrating pieces of junk to program) had a boring day and made the receipt print that.
_toro ยท -50 points ยท Posted at 23:15:12 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When he asked for the same condoms he's been buying there for the last year he told the guy to shove it up his ass and sell him some diapers
clodhopper88 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:48:49 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat
Hammer_Jackson ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:29:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"WHEN HE ASKED..." I'm not doing that, but for real...What ??
MetalsDeadAndSoAmI ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get it, don't worry. The condoms didn't work(if one was used this time), lady got pregnant, now needs diapers instead of condoms.
the-hossboss ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:59 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
O.o
Cheeseand0nions ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 21:15:49 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That CLERK 01, what a kidder,
ponytoaster ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 21:34:37 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Classic CLERK01
Gothiks ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:42:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Totally Real Clerk01
hl-99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fucking CLERK01 huh?
DaleDooper ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 00:26:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CLERK01*
elpaw ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You sure love Misc
knifepen ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 20:48:44 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't be a smartass. It'll cost you
ProgramTheWorld ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:42 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For exactly 25ยข.
Valcador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey that's some serious dough. Can it wait until I get paid again?
RIolucario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
what will being a smart ass cost you? rips off a piece of my cheek
mb9023 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:29:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah what kind of shitty receipt is this? It has zero info
NuclearVison ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's from one of those trendy new Misc Bars.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:14 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like some kind of musky soup. Like Bisque, but with musk.
MadDogMccree ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:57:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The kind that a board cashier makes to post on Reddit.
ReBurnInator ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:37:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boards don't make good cashiers. No people skills. They just act so stiff and wooden.
vandoh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:27:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bored!
LeBaegi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be 25 cents, sir
snooky13 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:27:43 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha at the gas station I work at there's a dumb ass fee.
diehllane ยท 209 points ยท Posted at 00:34:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yea? How much do they take out of your paycheck for it?
snooky13 ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 01:25:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much all of it :(
Mountin-man46 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:22:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
__not rekt
x_rekt
x_tyrannosaurus rekt
x_ez
Thor_pool ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:23:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
__original joke
X_unoriginal joke
NukaCooler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:30:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CorREKT.
Snagpole1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:13:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ Not rekt
โ Rekt
โ Really Rekt
โ Tyrannosaurus Rekt
โ Cash4Rekt.com
โ Grapes of Rekt
โ Ship Rekt
โ Rekt markes the spot
โ Caught rekt handed
โ The Rekt Side Story
โ Singin' In The Rekt
โ Painting The Roses Rekt
โ Rekt Van Winkle
โ Parks and Rekt
โ Lord of the Rekts: The Reking of the King
โ Star Trekt
โ The Rekt Prince of Bel-Air
โ A Game of Rekt
โ Rektflix
โ Rekt it like it's hot
โ RektBox 360
โ The Rekt-men
โ School Of Rekt
โ I am Fire, I am Rekt
โ Rekt and Roll
โ Professor Rekt
โ Catcher in the Rekt
โ Rekt-22
โ Harry Potter: The Half-Rekt Prince
โ Great Rektspectations
โ Rekt Paper Scissors โ RektCraft
โ Grand Rekt Auto V
โ Call of Rekt: Modern Reking 2
โ Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina of Rekt
โ Rekt It Ralph
โ Left 4 Rekt
โ www.rekkit.com
โ Pokemon: Fire Rekt
โ The Shawshank Rektemption
โ The Rektfather
โ The Rekt Knight
โ Fiddler on the Rekt
โ The Rekt Files
โ The Good, the Bad, and The Rekt
โ Forrekt Gump
โ The Silence of the Rekts
โ The Green Rekt
โ Gladirekt
โ Spirekted Away
โ Terminator 2: Rektment Day
โ The Rekt Knight Rises
โ The Rekt King
โ REKT-E
โ Citizen Rekt
โ Requiem for a Rekt
โ REKT TO REKT ass to ass
โ Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Rekt
โ Braverekt
โ Batrekt Begins
โ 2001: A Rekt Odyssey
โ The Wolf of Rekt Street
โ Rekt's Labyrinth
โ 12 Years a Rekt
โ Gravirekt
โ Finding Rekt
โ The Arekters
โ There Will Be Rekt
โ Christopher Rektellston
โ Hachi: A Rekt Tale
โ The Rekt Ultimatum
โ Shrekt
โ Rektal Exam
โ Rektium for a Dream
โ www.Trekt.tv
โ Erektile Dysfunction
ThePegasi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:14 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:14 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you okay?
ProgramTheWorld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Savage.
Tater8q3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:53:35 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fukkin rekt
[deleted] ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 20:28:30 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
W_I_Water ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 20:30:44 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be $0.25 please, Sir.
TAU_equals_2PI ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:03:06 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That'll be $0.25 please, Sir.
Oh, plus $0.02 tax.
_exe ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 01:38:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's just your two cents
Theoxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:51:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what got OP in this situation already.
PiecesOfJesus ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:58:12 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They did. $2.36 is exactly 8% of $29.50.
allxofxme ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 00:18:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/theydidthemath
RichardNCox ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:54:04 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They did. Look at that tiny. T1T1T1T1 on the left.
ErraticDragon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:27:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Typically the state doesn't care if you change tax for something that doesn't need it, or charge too much. All they care about is that anything you charge as tax has to be paid to them.
nexus9 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:35:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"So long as we get our cut, we're happy"
smowe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:03:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I recall a minor scandal when people realized Starbucks charged tax on everything instead of just the stuff they had to to simplify their POS rules. I think they only technically had to tax prepared food but put it on everything, not totally sure.
slippery_when_wet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's everything but Newspapers. Don't remember a scandal, but it must not have changed much.
Siniroth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:29 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't try and make up a tax. You can make up a fee or a charge all you want, and you can tax made up charges as you normally would tax something, but don't call it a tax unless it's a legitimate tax.
I've heard, anyway
Mountin-man46 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:18:59 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're fixin to earn yourself a smartass charge sir.
superspeck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spotted the Texan.
king_texas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm we say that.
blisstake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Mountin-man46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Howdy, I'm from Texoma
asoughtafterdroid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They probably won't be as concerned about the dumbass charge as they would be about the "Misc." Looks like a test receipt.
ASurplusofChefs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:22:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
or just someone messing around with a printer.
ASurplusofChefs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
its just someone punching in whatever they want into a receipt printer they found at a yard sale...
its not like its hard to mock up a receipt to say whatever you want. millions of merchants do it every single day.
Iamgoingtooffendyou ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:54:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the state that I do business in, if I charge tax on something that doesn't require tax, like a service, I'm require to pay the tax to the state. Otherwise, they don't seem to care.
WickedTriggered ยท 264 points ยท Posted at 21:11:38 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think someone with access to a cash register is going for some karma.
sab0tage ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:35:18 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Service key to 6 o'clock!
dirtymafia ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:29:58 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't quite understand the necessity of comments like this. If it actually happened or he thought up the clever joke and did it, either way, it is an attempt at Karma and deserved.
TheBoiledHam ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:26:41 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On moderate effort posts, you're right. On low effort posts that are essentially stories, humble brags, sob stories, etc. It is annoying when it is obvious that it was obviously fabricated. I think this post straddles the line because it had to take effort, so OP didn't just edit an image (I hope) but I haven't seen OP say why there even was the charge so the post feels like it lacks any real context. It's a fine line some times and I'm just being contrary and trying to defend people who look like assholes for being tired of seeing made up low effort posts. Look up bad /r/tifu posts for examples of very low effort posts mixed in with posts that straddle the line.
Edit: Also, look at how fake this receipt looks.
IAmBrowse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:26 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For simple jokes like this I completely agree. You wouldn't get mad at a comedian for telling a "this happened to me" joke that is obviously fake. Experiencing actual funny situations shouldn't be a requirement for creating a good joke.
WickedTriggered ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 00:08:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Passed off as real when others post real content? Let's call it a difference of opinion. And you needn't understand.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 00:08:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
WoodenBear ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:24:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why is "cross" capitalized in your comment?
Mountin-man46 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:18:07 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why does it burn when I pee?
Jawbreaker93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:35:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Type venereal disease into google images. You'll know when you find it.
jobu-needs-a-refill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:24:39 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's RES marking the comment as controversial.
bagelofthefuture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:27 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's one of Reddit's built-in features. It's always interesting to see where they pop up.
Onomatopoeia4 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:25:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How else will you know how smart they are? You can't pull a fast one over these fellas.
rehabilitated_4chanr ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 23:55:15 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Its like a puzzle/game that some of us enjoy. If it actually happened or OP is a bundle of sticks, either way, it is /u/WickedTriggered's attempt at Karma and deserved.
vandoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, this looks like a restaurant or bar tab, and there is no way an owner would let their employees ring in everything as "misc", inventory control is way too important to not know what is selling and what isnt
BigFatDynamo ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:33:54 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what?
WickedTriggered ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know how you seem to give a shit about my caring enough to post? I give a shit enough about fake ass posts to post.
Now I ask you about my post, so what?
fixgeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:54 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So...
BigFatDynamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I guess you give more fucks than I do about lame shit, although maybe not since I cared enough about your post to point it out. I suppose I just don't understand why people care so much about someone getting fake internet points to be a tool about it.
WickedTriggered ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:17:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I care about honesty. You don't.
But don't pretend you don't put effort into shit that doesn't matter. Case in point. This.
BigFatDynamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good point.
Sellenium ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work at a coffee shop that had a miscellaneous asshole charge. Serving up justice $0.05 at a time.
jpr64 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:12:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The bar I used to run had asshole tax at $1 a pop.
superspeck ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:07:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What if you ordered beer instead of pop?
jpr64 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck is pop? I live in New Zealand.
afdsadf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:13:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
in some places in the US, soda is called pop
phaelium ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:04:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and Canada
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/sodypop
jpr64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We just call it fizzy.
AlexGriffinmask ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:51 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dafuq do you call cola fizzy for? It's like calling cake fluffy.
jpr64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A fluffy is just heated frothy milk.
SanctusLetum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:11:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's somewhere between "fat" and "DAAUMN!"
AlexGriffinmask ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you use adjectives as nouns to name your drinks?
jpr64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:53:59 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Things are different down under.
Franco_DeMayo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm totally gonna start using upsy stairsies, though. Also, it's so much funnier if you read it as Dana Carvey's Paul McCartney.
radical0rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pop in Canada, too. Get it together, fellow commonwealthers!
PM_Me_Whatever_lol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when you go to the warewhare or the dairy and buy yourself some of that Lemon and Paeroa, mate, you just bought yourself some pop.
vandoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Chicago, Illinois and much of the rest of the midwestern US call soda "pop". It may sound stupid until you realize in the southern United States they call all of those drinks a "coke" and
superspeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:28 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://images.huffingtonpost.com/2012-11-09-Screenshot20121109at3.05.00PM.png
jpr64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hats off to those few green states keeping it real.
3076613 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Soda
SolvoMercatus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If the tax was $1 per pop, how much was the asshole tax on a beer?
Go3tt3rbot3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:41:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
as a german i wonder how you can do something like that. Try something here and after
52 times you found the one guy who calls the cops.soggyfritter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I frequented one that had a $1 cell phone tax. Miss that place.
CommaHorror ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:31:34 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Would you like, paper or plastic?"
"Wood please,."
RobSwift127 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:18:26 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Brushed Aluminum please..."
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:38:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Precious metal please!
Osiris32 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:14:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The skins of adorable orphan children.
But only adorable ones.
esspee39 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
give me your extra resources
PiecesOfJesus ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 23:00:17 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If a cashier ever asks me if I want someone to carry something to my car for me, I am going to say yes, then walk out of the parking lot and say "I parked at home, we have quite a walk ahead of us"
vandoh ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:32:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would be fantastic if you were a bagger.
"where were you for the last hour?"
"i was walking a customer to their car"
Wr0ngThread ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
While everyone else has a pissing contest about beer, I'm just gonna say Newcastle is surprisingly good at room temp.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger
ItsWolt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:30:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, we usually get the lowly baggers to so that job for us!
PiecesOfJesus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:54 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Those idiots wouldn't even realize they had been duped.
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just say "hey, I got an important job for ya, want it? Ok, go help this annoying old lady out to her car with her 4 boxes of wine and other groceries and be sure to be friendly even though she doesn't thank you for helping!" I had a customer do the exact thing...
g0atmeal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:15:36 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What receipt doesn't put the store name or any of the item names? This stinks, I tells ya!
kalel1980 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 20:50:41 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is that even legal?!
cuteintern ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 01:53:06 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you're just fucking around with the register at work for karma, it's not illegal.
dcmcilrath ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:03:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know that you can buy receipt printers?
Threeedaaawwwg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's legal to buy receipt printers? holy shit.
g0atmeal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
... what is so surprising about that?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
g0atmeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The seller should also have a record of sale. I can make a receipt saying I bought something and want you to "return" $50 to me, but you obviously know that I'm lying because you have no memory of ever selling it to me.
If a third party needs to use receipts to determine who is telling the truth, stores can use authentication systems like bar codes and serial numbers, something a person couldn't just make up on the spot. It's the same way you can prevent fake currency from working.
FuckModsInTheAss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Usually you have to bring back an item with it's receipt.
Skull_kids ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:00:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's literally a normal printer that works differently than an office printer.
MystTheReaper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:24:13 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a joke? Do you think they buy them from the government? It's just a piece of paper that says you bought something here and how much it was.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:47:29 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SUE!
KittenStealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
WEEEE!!!!
green_meklar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Being a smartass? Yeah, I think so.
Simba7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:09:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As long as you don't discriminate based on protected classes, you can charge whoever you want whatever you want.
DrCrucible ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:10:12 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is not even remotely true.
Simba7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And how is it false? The only reason businesses charge standard prices is because nobody would go anywhere near them if they didn't. As long as you are upfront about your charges and don't discriminate on protected classes, you can charge anyone whatever you want for your goods and services.
DrCrucible ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's an unlisted and unauthorized charge. If you want more information on the general subject, look up cramming.
TL;DR charging someone for something not talked about or agreed to is illegal as fuck.
Simba7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing, if you're upfront about it (signs posted somewhere, perhaps, or listed clearly on a menu), it's perfectly fine.
So basically by "Not even remotely true." You mean "That's exactly correct unless you cram in fees you actively hide."
DrCrucible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:56 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You don't have to actively hide them for it to be cramming. The burden to make the customer aware of the charges lies on the one placing the charges.
So basically by "As long as you don't discriminate based on protected classes, you can charge whoever you want whatever you want." you mean "They could possibly have charged it legally if they clearly had it posted in a location where the customer would have a reasonable opportunity to see it prior to the charge. Unless they live in one of the many places where this charge would considered unlawful based on the novelty to perform the service in proportion to the amount charged. Honestly, there's a lot of things that would make this illegal other than just discrimination, which is a kinda obvious one so it would be unnecessary to even bring up in the first place."
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:40:13 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YRWYS ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:48:03 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If your sandwich is not toasted or the meat is not microwaved and served cold, ask for it to go. You won't get charged sales tax... Least that's how it works in California. If its hot OR dine-in, they charge tax.
Side note. If you ask for it to go, you can still sit down and eat in the restaurant. Subway staff won't enforce it as the tax is mandated the government. They don't care whether or not you sit down to eat or charge sales tax, as long as they don't get in trouble
_tx ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:51:40 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most states charge sales tax based on ready to eat vs needs to be prepared. Generally, a cold sandwich is still ready to eat.
YRWYS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:11 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So the sandwich needs to be prepared gets taxed and the ready to eat doesn't?
_tx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:04:27 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ready to eat generally taxed.
And easier example is that a loaf of bread is a component in a meal so it's non taxable, but a pbj sandwich is a final product so it is taxable.
Uoop ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:19:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a steal they charge me 2.50.
TrinixDMorrison ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:22:48 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is like something you see in a Seinfeld episode.
(jazz riff, scene opens with Jerry, George and Elaine hanging out at Monk's. George goes to pay for his coffee when he notices an old receipt in one of his pockets)
George : Huh......guys, would you take a look at this real quick?
Elaine : What? It's just a receipt.
George : Read it.
Elaine : Okay, so it doesn't have the name of the store or the clerk. So what?
Jerry : This is, quite literally, the most generic receipt ever.
George : Not that! Look at that, down there.
Elaine : Ooooooh, the smartass charge?
George : YES! Of course the smartass charge!!!
Elaine : (laughing)
Jerry : It's a small price to pay there, Georgie.
George : What?! No that's not the poin-I'm not a smartass!
Elaine & Jerry : Weeeellllll.....
George : What? WHAT?
DownWithTheSickness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:07 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That just happened in my head.
sn0wman8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:04 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The smartass charge is the most detailed part of this receipt.
Spikex8 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:16:50 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of shitty receipt doesn't even list what items you paid for....? What is the point of that at all.
frithjofr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:44 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Most thrift stores don't have an itemized bill. It'll just say like 'clothing' or 'misc' and I've been to a hardware store that did the same thing. Old guy running it, you'd haggle over just about everything but he was really fair.
RichardNCox ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:11:01 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wonder if they have a similar dumbass discount.
๐๏ธ brianjackson ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:18:43 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's $2.50
Rooonaldooo99 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:35:47 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One dollar from perfection.
Operader ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 21:26:17 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is Reddit your job, goat fucker?
Shadowflashpatches2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With surcharges it can be almost three fiddy
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:29:58 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, I think it comes to $31.68
SkyrocketFilms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
SEVENTEEN THIRTY EIGHT
Muffinizer1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, that's another quarter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You probably were you jerk!!
Skrubby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:10 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
BURN
monkiih8r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:58:32 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope they didn't tax the smart ass charge.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:39:30 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This feels like the beginning of a 1990s romantic comedy.
Rooonaldooo99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:31:18 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, do they know you? If not, this would be quite foolish to write that there. That's comp city.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:58 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How so?
ffddb1d9a7 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:57:18 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because adding charges to someones receipt at a counter for things they aren't actually buying and not telling them about it is completely illegal?
Twons ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:42:34 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. They said "$31.86" and he paid it. He agreed to that total price. It doesn't matter if one of the things was a smart-ass charge. He agreed that price was fair for his basket of goods.
Gz_Chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly, it would only be illegal if they added the charge to his bill after he signed for it.
Auspants ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:24:58 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Will still get you 100% instantly fired anywhere remotely normal.
Your smartass charge is your job motherfucker.
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 23:24:59 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take receipt to local news station.
Ruin their business when no one want's to go to a place that charges for the sole interaction of buying something from a cashier.
Get comped out the ass to quiet down.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:39:16 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If they have a button for a smart ass charge I'm pretty sure that they will only get increased business from the media exposure.
F19Drummer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:31 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The average person tends to become an absolute idiot when in a retail environment.
Source: Worked retail for almost 4 years, these customers have no common sense.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doubt it. People are frugal and getting charged a quarter of a dollar because the cashier is in a bad move is terrible PR.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:10 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:44 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, who said I seen it as negative? Dude asked a question and I gave an answer. I think it's pretty funny but also it's a pretty shitty thing to sneak onto a bill so I'd be pretty upset if it happened to me.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:52:32 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, because getting upset over someone sneaking an extra charge on my bill because they're in a bad mood is totally unreasonable.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:57:22 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And you owe a charity $2 for this comment thread. a .25c charge for every comment because you're being insufferable. /s
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:30 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind paying. If we added a whinny little cunt charge you might need to run to the ATM.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes I would. I'd have to go get the money for a plane ticket to fly to wherever the fuck you're from and shove a roll of quarters down your throat so you could pay the charity. What they're doing is illegal without disclosing the surcharge. This is literally theft. I don't care what you think is reasonable because clearly your view of what is reasonable is so heavily skewed you can't see why someone might get upset when they can't afford whatever they're buying because some uppity cunt behind the register is having a bad day.
Edit: and before you try to argue that it isn't theft, theft includes receiving money via deception (ie, adding a nonsensical charge without informing the customer)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's going to be another whinny little cunt charge. You agreed to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:45 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'll pay it when you can learn to spell whiny.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's theft of services if you don't, you agreed to it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And what service am I stealing? Am I wasting your companies time because you're redditing on the shitter? If you're going to troll at least make a half-assed attempt to sound like you know what you're talking about. Guess I'll have to point out that I only agreed to pay the charge when you learned to spell whiny, and didn't agree to it previously. Good day, shitter.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you normally this angry about photos on the Internet?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:37 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I didn't know that you were a living, talking receipt.
Unique_Name_2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:08 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey guys, shut up.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
$.25
flkraven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:32:54 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Come See Us Again"
Iancredible56 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:00 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode could be based around a check like this.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:57:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question. Is this actually legal?
pattycakesmead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:33 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you going to see them again?
willisduffoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:59 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bought too much misc man
Twons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:15 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If OP paid thirty five bucks, his change would be pi dollars.
IHazProstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:19 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that's illegal... lol
Conaza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:04 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come See Us Again :)
Acrokat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:47 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man. If someone did that to me, I would split tender; $31.61 by personal check and leave 25 cents on the counter.
They totally deserved it.
ItsWolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, just write multiple checks, Like 2 or 3. Split tenders are easy, whats a pain in the ass is having to take a check, especially 3 checks.
Acrokat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, and your method is quite devious.
I was going for a lb. for lb. subtle dig at the additional smartass charge. I don't want to be a dick but I want to celebrate the occasion :)
Samablam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:52 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a quarter for every time I was a smart ass, I'd be rich!
missionbeach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:25 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'd put it on a card, then appeal the charges.
PureVegetableOil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What's the difference between a miscellaneous charge and a smartass charge?
Shilo788 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:03 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Every clerk should have this option.
daredaki-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So what did you say?
RedBeardThe_Pirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:22 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would rather be a smartass than a dumbass! (Ha! I've been waiting to use that one!)
SomalianRoadBuilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:57 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is the most nondescript receipt I have ever seen.
nerdcore72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was a DJ at a bar that had "flair" bartenders. They had a button on their till that added 25-cents to the bill if they did something "flairy". They could hit it as many times as they wanted and it went into their pocket at the end of the night.
artteacherthailand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OK, lots of complaints about bad jokes...What's a good one?
AdamOr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:43 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy crap, that's the most useless, vague sales receipt I've ever laid my eyes on!
"Hi sir, I'll have 4 Misc's please!"
moanrigid90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:09 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If it actually happened or OP is a final product so it is taxable..
LionessOfAzzalle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:49 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
D hl. N
Herbert66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:46 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take them to court for insulting you.
not_gern_blanston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:24 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you know it's fake when not one item ends in $.99
Rodent_Smasher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:40 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Tis both fake, and gay
kingpisser9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:33 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
retarded asshole fee cactus cactus
Danascot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:02 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's for inventory control so they know when to reorder.
asmarsajeel8261 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:16 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the most vague receipt I've ever seen
ThisIsMyUserdean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Was your waiter Red Foreman?
ItsWolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:31 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If someone acts like a dick to me I just purposely smash their bread. If any manager questions me about it i'll blame it on a bagger who I can't remember who it was because it was over an hour ago... That or subtly add like 5 cents to the price of some items just so it's not obvious.
PC509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:35 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad this is on /r/funny. After some of the others, you'd expect it to be front page news trying to get people fired and sued.
I'd gladly pay that, and long as they were smartasses, too. :D I love visiting places where they are cool and can joke around like that.
rainwulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:57 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough. I would pay that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:50 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That receipt is very, very vague. Misc? What store labels something as miscellaneous on the reciept, or at all? Gotta call bullshit on this one.
radical0rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:54 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Has no one in this thread ever shopped at a dollar store before?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:21 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fake, doesnt say the store name or product names
darkelfastos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:18 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy is that it's always better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass
WooPeedOnMyRug1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:05 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the fake shit op, what do you take us for?
Doinwerklol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:30:23 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that aint legal
Botchness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:07:08 on June 10, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did this a couple times to really shitty customers. Only 2 times I can recall. I called it stupid tax.
DomesticChaos ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on June 11, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Lots of salt.