The story behind why we may have originally had 15 Commandments. You'll want to use this as a humorous intro in the first lesson, recognizing that when people hear "The Ten Commandments," they become very serious. But the Commandments are for the establishment of joy.
As probably one of the biggest Mel Brooks fans in the world, this does not count. The Producers come first and does not feature Hitler anywhere near ice.
But it does have Gene Wilder.
fzw ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TBH I like the one with Broderick and Lane better than the original. Mostel isn't as good of a Byali as Lane, and while Gene Wilder is a legend, I think Broderick plays that neurotic part better. Wilder always just seemed manic to me.
JMGurgeh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:40:32 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was sittin' flickin' chickens, And I'm looking through the pickins', When suddenly these goys break down my walls, I didn't even know them , And they grab me by the scrotum , And they started playing ping-pong with my balls
phome83 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:27:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying incite any rage, just genuinely curious. How is one man claiming to hear the voice of God and writing it down for others to read any different than the Mormon guy claiming he found those gold plates that only he could translate? Same kind of deal, right?
Furthermore, why could someone from Moses' time get away with such a thing when today all sorts of people claim to hear the voice of Jesus or God and they're just mentally unstable rather than prophetic?
Well, there were the plagues and miracles that he brought down in the name of God. I mean, you can believe that or not, but that's why people were willing to believe he was actually talking to God. The Mormon guy and the wackos have nothing but their own word, and a good few people still followed the Mormon guy.
But roll back the clock. Find someone very good at noticing signs. Animals can sense certain natural events before they happen, perhaps someone else was able to figure out a system to predict plagues and most of those same miracles could easily be reproduced by slight of hand or subterfuge.
I'm not saying it didn't happen as the Bible lays it out. Just that I find it interesting that millions have believed in events that happened a long time ago when if those same events happened today they would be dismissed.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:22:38 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses literally hit a rock with his staff and water came out of it. God actually spoke (with every person present to hear) on top of the mountain as lightning and clouds encircled it when Moses went up. Moses did many miracles in front of the people (including splitting an entire sea) so they could make it to what is now modern day Israel from Egypt.
If all of this indeed happened, who in their right mind wouldn't follow this guy?
code0011 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:26:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think it's sufficient grounds for calling hacks and banning him from the server
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:29:40 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He got banned from the promised land right? Hackers get what they deserve.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they were parading a golden calf around....
leighbo ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:00:51 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses literally hit hit a rock with his staff and water came out of it
"literally" Yep, because these things happened...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:38:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great contribution to the discussion, friend
ghs145 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:22:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll always find people who dismiss things though. Some believe the moon isn't real. People believe because they were taught to believe, or because they want to believe that this(our life on earth) isn't the ending of the story. It's called Faith for a reason.
It's as simple as that.
*this is coming from a Southern Baptist who struggles with having Faith a lot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:07 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're really comparing doubting some man talking about a burning bush that has the voice of god with people who think the moon is not real? I think the burning bush crowd has far more in common with people who argue moon is made from cheese.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're twisting my words to fit your agenda. I said people dismiss things, in that some can't accept facts.
And really? Are you a Moon truther, or just trying to make light of religious people?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:10 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But someone who dismisses the burning bush story, is not someone who can't accept facts. It's just someone who dismisses fantastical stories lacking evidence, as we should.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One again, you have masterfully twisted my words. I said dismiss because he was saying if the events described in the bible happened today, they would be dismissed. I said that people will always dismiss things regardless, its almost human nature.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:19 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, when Man walked on the Moon most people didn't dismiss it. When Jesus' face appears on someone's cheese sandwich as a sign of a miracle, most people dismiss it. So it's not human nature to always dismiss things, only silly things such as burning bushes or Jesus imprinted cheese toasties as divine miracles. It's very simple really. The reason things that happened in the Bible don't happen today is because those things didn't actually happen, they are just the myths and superstitions that history have carried on and some believe today.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said SOME, you said MOST. Once again, you are grasping at straws trying to make an arguement. I'll stop you right here though, I do not care what you have to say about religion.
You've twisted my words enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:44 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude - I can actually quote exactly what you said:
I said that people will always dismiss things regardless, its almost human nature.
People. Always. Human Nature. So you are not even saying most people as I suggested, but, it seems, ALL.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll always find people who dismiss things though. SOME people don't even think the moon is real.
Paraphrasing because I'm lazy, but that is the very first comment I made.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:28 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm, not sure what the argument is supposed to be about anymore.
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
Yes but my point is that faith was not a leap in the Bible, at least not to the same degree it is today. Why would an omnipotent being be so active in the lives of his creations for such an extended period of time and the suddenly vanish from the scene leaving it all to blind faith and trusting in a book to carry on such a legacy.
I know it's a pithy argument. But as someone who would believe if there were evidence, I find the fact that we are expected to believe despite a complete lack of evidence to be counterintuitive.
Why would a God who was perfectly fine with showing his presence to the masses through incredible occurrences all the sudden choose to just let it all play out and let faith in an ancient text determine who was worthy and who was damned?
Because he wanted to help us in our infancy to move forward in society with morals and we proceeded to spend every decade disobeying the commandments.
Hell if it were me after sending my son down there and having him crucified just for saying "hey maybe we should be nicer," I'd say I'm pretty much done with humans for a while after that.
But in order for that to be true, humanity could only be thousands of years old. Science has pretty thoroughly refuted that. What of other people who didn't live in that area at the time?
Neolife ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where does that state anything about the age, in years, of humanity? He just said that maybe God wanted to help us as we, as a species, developed. Then, after he sent his son to be crucified for us, he was "done". No statement about the age of humanity there, since science has pretty thoroughly refuted the concept of Young Earth creationism.
Also, Christianity doesn't state that Jesus just died for people in that area, or just at that time. That sacrifice was for all people.
He said "in our infancy". As a species. Or as a people. Or whatever. Regardless of what exactly he meant by infancy, humanity was by no means in any way in a stage of infancy during Biblocal times unless you're commenting on knowledge of sciences and technology at that time. The genealogy of the Bible cannot possible go back to the first man because it simply doesn't span enough time. Unless you believe that people really lived for thousands of years at some point, which there is absolutely no evidence to support.
And I didn't say anything about Jesus and the cross. That obviously came later chronologically. What about the flood? Did Asia or Africa not exist then? Aside from the fact that there is no evidence of any great flood such as is described in the Bible, surely you are not trying to contend that it was an actual flood as the Bible suggests. At best it is a metaphor. For what I have no idea.
Neolife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:49 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course it's a metaphor. The whole Old Testament is, generally, a metaphor. Maybe some parts are factual (historically speaking), but the rest of it is certainly metaphorical and written much later than it happened. Much, much later.
Also, typically, "Biblical times" refers to the time around the life of Jesus, so about 2000 years ago, during the early stages of the Roman Empire (Caesar Augustus is mentioned during the birth story in Luke).
I personally wouldn't refer to that time as humanity "in its infancy" since it had already seen the establishment and collapse of many large civilizations and strong connections between the regions of the world near modern-day Europe and the Middle/Near East. If I were to pick a time in the Bible when humanity was in its infancy, likely moral-wise, it would be the early chapters of Genesis.
The original comment to which you replied is likely just misworded here, since the key part to take away from his suggestion is that God essentially saw what he sent Jesus to do as the solution. He came at a time when society was connected enough that his teachings would make an impact on a large scale (granted, many early stages of Christianity veered from these teachings of peace, notably seen in the Crusades) and would last.
The ultimate sacrifice meant that God no longer needed to use prophets or miracles, as his creation was now saved by his actions, not ours. We had been remade as the perfect creation he had originally intended.
There are plenty of ways to poke holes here and make logical arguments against the core assumptions, but it will come down to just philosophical disagreements at that point, since the choice to believe that is exactly that - a choice. It isn't based on logical arguments or requirement of proof of existence in order to accept the existence of what I've described. You simply accept if that is what you want to believe, and then live out your belief in those teachings through your actions.
And the most important part of the teachings of Jesus is to learn from the teachings, not necessarily accept all of the detailed descriptions and rituals associated with the religion. Be kind, be peaceful, turn the other cheek, be accepting, do not be greedy, give to those who need help, treat others as you want to be treated. That's the big stuff that too often gets lost in debates over things that don't affect the core tenants of the religion.
Sorry if I've delved deeper than you wanted to go. To answer your questions directly: the original commenter's use of "infancy" is likely just misworded; better to just look at the general idea that Jesus' death prevented the need for miracles and the like. Yes, the flood is a metaphor, along with the vast majority of Old Testament stories, which were written way after they were even claimed to have happened.
keewa09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:27 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fascinating how he became very shy as our ability to capture things in photos and films increased, uh?
You're right. The Pharaoh at the time had his experts refute the plagues with their science and reasoning, so Pharaoh didn't really believe it. Up until the final plague that wiped out every firstborn in Egypt. That's when Pharaoh concedes and lets the Israelites go
keewa09 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a story, though. There's no evidence any of that ever happened and plenty of reasons that make it absurd.
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really. So the definition of Godmode is disobeying the rules of the server made for the creations of the server. And Satan is part of the server trying to tell them that there is no God in order for them to go back to nonexistence with him instead of existing forever with God. It's one huge fantasy that you just have to believe. You can't prove it. You can't reach the center of the circle with science. That is why pi is infinite.
keewa09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:26 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny
I just think of god as nonexistent until someone can prove her existence.
For one thing, fewer people would have been able to understand many or any natural reasons for the plagues happening, so, caused by God or not, if they did occur, especially with Moses proclaiming God's wrath in the immediate vicinity, they would lend credence.
And to be fair, if stuff like that happened today, I think even quite cynical unbelievers would be questioning themselves. Most people who don't believe the Biblical account nowadays, seem to think that the Israelites invented the story around the exodus to justify their conquest. ... And the Egyptian side of that history may be missing, as the Egyptians had an annoying habit of erasing any history of their failures.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You are absolutely correct as well, if you really are a good person in your heart you will go to heaven no matter what. Jesus came not to save the righteous but the ones living in darkness. That is to say, the ones who made life terrible for their fellow humans. As humanity becomes more and more civilized we need Jesus less and less because we no longer live in darkness. It's a beautiful story. You can't prove. You get to read it and make whatever you want out of it. All that matters is that you're a good person.
I would not call myself a believer. Yet many incredible things have happened since biblical times that mirror or trump those proclaimed in the Bible. We know of unbelievable, terrific things that we can explain with science. So I have to wonder, purely as a curious person and not someone looking to oust religion, that if science in its present form was around during those times if any of the wonderful, miraculous occurrences would have been seen as such.
keewa09 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People tell you that alien abductions are absurd even though they could interview people who allegedly were abducted.
But when it comes to a 2,000 year old book written by goat herders and not corroborated by a single other event or book at the time... Word of God! Irrefutable and perfect.
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
as soon as he was gone from their camp, they started worshipping a golden calf since, well, cow worship seemed more likely to get them out of the wilderness than crazy ocean-parting old man moses.
so basically they believed him as long as they could see him. :p
5k3k73k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a horrible counter argument. You are just reading more of the same myth. That is like saying that Spiderman is real because he also appears on pages 27,28, and 29.
If you want to go that route I could argue that Joseph Smith's authenticity is collaborated by his magic rock and hat.
I am a believing Mormon, but the point of this is not to argue about that -- it's to say that "nothing but their own word" seems a stretch in the case of the early Mormon prophets, and that it's not hard for me to objectively imagine that in Moses's day people could have said the same skeptical things about him. The skeptical accounts didn't survive, and the believing accounts could have been amplified to be more impressive through retelling over the years. (As a side note on the skepticism of Moses, Mormons believe the Bible to be the word of God, to the extent that it was translated correctly.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably the clearest Bible scripture on the 10% payment is Malachi 3:10. From the King James version: "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." The gist of that and the surrounding verses is that paying that 10% (the definition of the word tithe) brings physical as well as spiritual rewards. The commandment is repeated in modern Mormon scriptures such as Doctrine & Covenants 97:12.
Don't you think "nobody has a true bible" can create just as much separation and division in society, since there are so many who do have a holy text they believe is true? (maybe not exclusively true.)
What is inherently wrong about a religion asking for money? Or is it maybe that for Mormons it's not "asking"? (If you don't know, Mormons who don't pay their tithing are not considered worthy to participate in some things such as going to Mormon temples. It is up to the individual to assess and report their own compliance to the law of tithing, and even the definition such as whether it's counted before tax or after. I am fairly sure a person's bishop is supposed to trust them and trust God to dole out the consequences of lying, especially since it's possible to pay tithing directly to the Church headquarters so that the bishop would be unaware how much they've paid.)
I don't want to leave your other points unacknowledged, but this is getting long and I'm not sure what to say. I think I understand where you're coming from though. Thanks for the kind words.
keewa09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are just stories written by a handful of people. Pretty obvious none of this ever happened.
msc1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:44:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you believe the story, I think Moses was also a leader, responsible for the Exodus, which included multiple miracles. Meanwhile Joseph Smith was some random dude.
I think it'd be more like if Kim Jong Un kept North Korea safe through war with the rest of the world, and then after the world gives up he claimed to speak for god. Or at the very least convinced a bunch of people that's what happened.
In ~1000 years, Scientology will have a long history. People will have original copies of Dianetics in glass cases in the library and argue about which of his children is the true heir to... whatever.
keewa09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:30 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because the people back then had the understanding of the universe of a six year old today.
It's mystifying that there are still so many people who believe this stuff in the 21st century.
mtbr311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get back to /r/athiesm with your logical line of questioning!
that's not what either of those words mean. Atheist comes from two words "A" meaning not and "theist" meaning...get this...theist. Atheist means non-theist. That is all it means. There are no other requirements to be an atheist. If you are not a follower of a theistic religion than you are an atheist.
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
Yserbius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:51 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because all of the Children of Israel heard it spoken by Hashem. Moses just brought it down in writing.
Yup few people realize this. The ONLY place were the actual text of the bible says ten commandments are not the modern 10 that are mentioned today. Those actual ten commandments say things like not to cook milk with meat so I hope none of you have been doing that.
hyyerr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit! no more Milksteaks
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:31 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would include cheese burgers and philly cheese steaks.
D3PyroGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:53 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I still get to eat my raw jellybeans?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, because they might contain jello from pigs and pigs are unclean.
you will take wives from among their daughters for your sons, and their daughters who prostitute themselves to their gods will make your sons also prostitute themselves to their gods.
Doesn't seem like a bad gig.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, we're those written on the stone tablets or do we not know? I knew there were other laws by the time of Exodus but didn't know they were also officially deemed the commandments as well
Exodus chapter 34: see verse 1, then verses 10 through 28. This is all after Moses broke the first set of Ten Commandments earlier. You can see another version of them as spoken by the mouth of God in chapter 20. And another alternate version in Deuteronomy 5.
So you've murdered someone while committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's stuff?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough, the Bible mentions that hatred counts as murder to God and lustful thoughts count as adultery. God cares most about the hearts intentions, so intending to commit either is essentially doing them because God looks at the hearts desires. So when you look at it that way, doing all 10 at once seem more possible.
i always thought moses was an unrealistic character
really, you went through so much to escape, get free, wander in the wilderness, struggle, all kinds of weird shit happened, then you saw one thing that pissed you off so you lose your shit entirely and throw down the thing you just got from god?! come on. just come on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can easily flip that logic. He went through so much with the Israelites and did saw so many signs and acts from God with them, that he was even more pissed when he saw them easily discard God for an idol. After all he went through, that should be infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:19 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:39:24 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the fuck is just there to amuse the 14 year olds.
Edit: It would have just been funnier if there was a pause. But whatever. Since you guys like the word fuck so much, go fuck yourselves you stupid fucking ugly fucks.
kwking13 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
31 here...i was amused by the fuck. I would've probably been equally amused by "oi" or really any other fitting word. I don't really care...was amused.
"I'm 87 and found the fuck amusing"...like I give a shit. I don't get these replies.
xbtdev ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:34 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand where you're coming from; You're easily offended by words, and anyone who doesn't find them offensive must be immature. Saying "it's not funny" is just a cover for "i find it offensive".
I never understood why Mel Brooks chose to drop the table in his right hand as opposed to the one in his left that was balanced under his chin.
aposter ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was the whole right to left writing thing with Hebrew. The tablet in his right hand would be the leftmost for the readers facing him, so that would be commandments 11-15.
zelbo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:41 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses turned and went down the mountain with the two tablets of the covenant law in his hands. They were inscribed on both sides, front and back. When Moses approached the camp and saw the calf and the dancing, his anger burned and he threw the tablets out of his hands, breaking them to pieces at the foot of the mountain. Exodux 32:15,19
So yeah, it happened. Just not on accident, but because Moses was angry at his people for being idolatrous. Don't worry, even if anger was just Moses's excuse, he just went back to get new ones.
The Lord said to Moses, โChisel out two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke." Exodus 34:1
I'm picturing God as a passive-aggressive Jewish Mother:
The Lord said to Moses, โChisel out two stone tablets like the first ones that I wrote on that were PERFECT, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets the first time, which you BROKE."
last657 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And all 10 would probably have been on both. Moses just held onto god's copy
As someone else mentioned elsewhere god did send different commandments down after moses broke the first ten in anger when he returned and found the Israelis worshiping a bronze cow. When moses went to get the commandments again they were very different. Read for yourself straight out of the bible:
Thanks for sharing. Never knew and I find this fascinating. "Don't cook a baby goat in its mothers milk.". It's this kind of bible language in my opinion that exposes it as man made, not divinely inspired.
joavim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:00:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly not as important as remembering not to say his name without good reason.
mtbr311 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:19:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You used the word "good"
That's awful close to the word "God." You're walking a fine line there, mister.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the only part of that movie i remember. It was frickin hilarious. Moses should have dropped one of the two tablets he was struggling to hold with one hand though. That would have made more sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Or at least kind of made it look like one of the ones in the hand holding two started to slip, and in recovering it, he dropped the one in his other hand.
mrbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
isidero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha looks fantastic. Will watch it soon. Thanks!
manachar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:20:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you lucky person!
If you've not also seen Mel Brooks' other films I highly recommend them. Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs, The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Robin Hood: Men in Tights... so many great comedies.
Truan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:12:55 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
note that there are two versions of The Producers, and they both need to be watched.
manachar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:19:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I mostly prefer the first one (I'm a Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder kinda guy), but there's some great stuff in the new one too. Wish I could see it on stage.
I saw it on stage at the Hippodrome in Baltimore right after the theater had just been restored. Not the Broadway cast, but Uma Thurman was there during the intermission talking about the film adaptation and signing autographs. She's a tall lady.
Truan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:47 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the actors of the first, but I do love the fact that it's a musical. Springtime for hitler is just way more epic that way. And something about getting the gay producer to play it instead of a strung out hippie just appealed to me more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:31 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Also watch the curb season with The Producers as a storyline
Truan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ahahaha, I loved it. Ben Stiller and whatever Ross' real name was great
isidero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a lot! Already love some clips available on youtube. You guys have made my weekend!
jonnyfgm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:06 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't moses actually get hundreds of commandments, and the Christians decided to just ignore most of them?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:58 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I suppose it's in 11-15 where God got to say something about the rather fundamental morality stuff that's missing in 1-10, so God forbids genocide, rape, child abuse, slavery and using the phrase "Just saying!"
Genocide is covered by 'thou shalt not murder', rape is covered by 'thou shall not commit adultery', child abuse is covered by 'honor your father and mother', and slavery is covered by 'thou shall not steal'. You're asking for redundancy. But you only like rules that let you talk shit about other people and avoid the ones that require sacrifices on your part.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:09 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You probably need to look at the definition of rape and the definition of adultery. They are two different things. Adulterers are not rapists, rapists are not necessarily adulterers. People who honor their parents very much can and do abuse children. And people who don't steal can also own slaves, illustrious people like the Founding Fathers and indeed many Biblical figures did just that. Unless you think George Washington was a thief. Indeed, the Bible is very much pro-slavery. Most of your points are so non-sensical I'm not entirely sure you are not just taking the piss, but this is reddit, and I imagine, sadly, you are not.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In this context, adultery means any banned sexual activity.
Cfattie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are actually many more than 10 commandments (over 600 iirc).
But even then I can answer everything mentioned with 2 of the top 10 commandments, along with 1 of 2 of Jesus's top commandments.
Against genocide, "thou shalt not murder."
Against rape, "thou shalt not covet."
Against child abuse, "love your neighbor as yourself." I interpret neighbor to mean anyone you meet. This is because the text does not specify to what degree the relativity of 'neighbor' applies. Abusing your neighbor is quite clearly not an act of loving as you would love yourself. If you abuse yourself... you need help.
Against "slavery", not much. Slavery is supposed to be a more give and take relationship than how it has played out throughout history. The bible explains that slaves should obey their masters and masters should treat their slaves with care and dignity. Against the historic ways of slavery, "love your neighbor as yourself."
Against "just saying!", I don't quite understand so I can't answer. Just saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Against child abuse, the Bible offers this little nugget of wisdom, which in its specificity probably overrules the much more vague Love thy neighbour:
Numbers 31:17-18
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones (taph), and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the female children (taph), that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
So - killing young boys okay? Yes, check. Keep the young girls for yourself to do as you please? Yep, no problem.
And are you trying to rationalise slavery?!? As a not so bad thing where nice masters took care of their nice slaves? Are you from the American South by any chance?
Cfattie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I wrote a huge response but I deleted it. I've done this too many times and I don't really want to argue again. Based on past experiences, the person I speak to never properly reads what I type anyway. Cool off your head and you'll notice I don't try to rationalize 'slavery' as in "slavery is good because the Bible says so durr hurr" but rather that the Bible explains that a proper slave/master relationship is one that exchanges a slave's loyalty with a master's proper care. Does slavery as the history books know it display that kind of slavery? No. So don't go there. EDIT: Also I have to note that slavery is no longer required or even beneficial for our current social infrastructure.
My book-long argument against your Bible excerpt boiled down to "you took the verse out of its historical context". The bigger picture is that we live in the 21st century. The people mentioned in the Bible did not. They lived in an age where people died all the time and women had no direct power (indirect e.g. swaying men into making decisions in their favor). (Note: Women in America got the right to vote in 1920. This event took place less than 100 years ago.)Relative to the time period, the death and slavery mentioned in the excerpt is not really headline news. Do keep in mind that it's not like the young Midianite girls were thrown into a sausage fest free-for-all. All parties are still subject to the Biblical law (remember the slave/master relationship? obedience and care. The care doesn't suddenly disappear).
So in both cases, no. There is no abuse. In a Biblically lawful relationship, anyway. Obviously some people did not follow the rules. There's no denying that.
EDIT: You can reply if you like. I can't guarantee I will want to explain anything further though. Feel free to read my comments another time. They might make more sense to you later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:01 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
My book-long argument against your Bible excerpt boiled down to "you took the verse out of its historical context". The bigger picture is that we live in the 21st century.
Depends what the argument is. If the argument is that the Bible is a set of rules cooked up by a bunch of people living in the desert thousands of years ago, attributed to God, and reflective of the morality of their time and place - then I completely agree.
However, many people, hundreds of millions as a matter of fact, argue that this old book is the word of God and should form the moral basis for how we live today. In that context, you can't get away with saying that all the slavery, genocide, child abuse and other extremely disturbing stuff demanded and encouraged by God is okay because of the historical context. If you believe that the creator of the universe, is the entity behind the bible, then you have to do some pretty extreme mental gymnastics to reconcile that God with an entity that's supposed to be moral - something that I believe I'm witnessing right now, and is somewhat entertaining, somewhat sad.
Cfattie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't even read the whole thing. Alright cool man thanks for this opportunity. There's no convincing someone who believes firmly in a statement with the word 'probably' in it (that they inserted themselves).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm familiar with the dictionary and words, but I'm also familiar with the fact that the bible wasn't written in English. There is also the fact that this is a code of law that needs interpretation and integration. It establishes principles for doing justice. The moral law is better when written out because even those who have been corrupted can better understand their punishments.
Slavery is stealing the wages of the person. Indeed denying a worker his due wages is described in the bible as an abomination. George Washington was a thief. Fuck that guy.
Bible is very much pro-slavery.
Speaking of taking a piss....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please put .gifv at the end of the link instead of .gif because it loads much faster:)
Like this: http://i.imgur.com/NdPE7mX.gifv
gotnate ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:20 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The gigabit internet connection I was on last week says otherwise. The .gif loaded faster than the .mp4.
vth0mas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:19 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still not as funny as the actual 10.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jorumvar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that creates, for me, a paradox. According to XV, I'm not supposed to believe the last five commandments. But that means I don't believe commandment XV. Which would then mean that I DO believe commandments XI-XV. But then I can't believe commandment XV. So thus I must either disregard commandment XV, or believe it when it tells me I shouldn't.
when i was a young kid i asked my dad if there was a chance there was another 5 commandments that moses dropped and he proceeded to show me this movie.
when i was a young kid i asked my dad if there was a chance there was another 5 commandments that moses dropped and he proceeded to show me this movie.
Saved comment
SirDooDooBritches ยท 592 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's from Mel Brooks' History of the World: Part 1. Here's the clip
[1].[1]
1Dream Mel Brooks 15 Commandments Clip
The story behind why we may have originally had 15 Commandments. You'll want to use this as a humorous intro in the first lesson, recognizing that when people hear "The Ten Commandments," they become very serious. But the Commandments are for the establishment of joy.
flycounter ยท 299 points ยท Posted at 18:50:54 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best documentaries ever.
ThaddeusJP ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 19:26:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting for part two.....
mage2k ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 19:49:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Jews in Space "preview" at the end of Part I was what eventually became Spaceballs.
KyfeHeartsword ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 20:48:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but what about my Hitler on Ice?
billychasen ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:50:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Inglourious Basterds
KyfeHeartsword ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 21:08:13 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love Quentin Tarantino, but Mel Brooks would have done it better, or at least funnier.
GReggzz732 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:27:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spring Time for Hitler!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:19:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
jma2010a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:58 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
LMAO!!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:01:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Producers
KyfeHeartsword ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:06:15 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As probably one of the biggest Mel Brooks fans in the world, this does not count. The Producers come first and does not feature Hitler anywhere near ice.
But it does have Gene Wilder.
fzw ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:06:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Springtime for Hitler is a good prequel. Come on Germans, go into your dance!
gohkamikaze ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:42:40 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Producers is my favourite musical of all time, and yet until today I've never seen anything but the remake with Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane.
fzw ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:48:00 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The original is one of my favorite movies, but I got to see the musical live and it was also amazing.
gohkamikaze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:52 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hoping it goes on tour again soon, I missed out on seeing the stage show a few years back and I was devastated :(
mloofburrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:15 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TBH I like the one with Broderick and Lane better than the original. Mostel isn't as good of a Byali as Lane, and while Gene Wilder is a legend, I think Broderick plays that neurotic part better. Wilder always just seemed manic to me.
JMGurgeh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:40:32 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There can be ice in springtime.
Just saying.
IamTheFreshmaker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:55:03 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably Brook's finest film. That said Young Frankenstein is probably the best comedy film ever made.
midsprat123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
even better on stage
ThyGuardian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus..."
pineapplesquirter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:49 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes...
Thespomat27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The search for more money?
jma2010a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:16 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sit back and relax, they are still editing the reel.
BaconIsBueno ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:20:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Im a fan of these non-fiction Mel Brooks flicks. Blazing Saddles... Quite the biopic on the first african american to settle in the west.
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:46:00 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It didn't go well. He expected "Welcome Sonny! Marry my daughter..."
But it turned out they were only simple farmers, people of the land, the common clay of the New West.....morons...
BaconIsBueno ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:56:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Someone is gonna have to go back and get a shitload of dimes!
ans141 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:48:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He said the sheriff is near!
chippedbeefontoast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:54:09 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Best fucking movie ever. Period.
Trollw00t ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:29 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the tip, gonna watch that now!
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:25:45 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'scuse me while I whip this out...
OrangeC_rush ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:08:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey boys! Look at what I got here!
ans141 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He said the sheriff is near!
Tipop ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:23:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ma'am, you're sucking on mah knee.
BaconIsBueno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:56 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good morning maam. Isn't it a lovely day???!???
Eibleu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:40 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! Just the other day I watched it again for the first time in at least 25 years; still cracks me up
Thakrawr ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 19:46:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite Mel Brooks movie. Surprisingly a lot of people have never heard of it.
schplat ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:01:25 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You men go northward! You men go southward! I'm gonna walk here around in a circle.
KyfeHeartsword ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:15:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stoned Soldier A: Do you care if it falls?
Stoned Soldier B: What?
Stoned Soldier A: The Roman Empire?
Stoned Soldier B: [laughs] Fuck it!
kaplanfx ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:14:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Roman Red! I need some papyrus!
budra477 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:49:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A whole field of wacky weedus!
kaplanfx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are now armed with mighty joint!
IamTheFreshmaker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:47:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Does everybody want soup?
Nogginboink ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:37:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best comedy movies ever.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember Comicus, stand-up philosopher and Roman Red.
SirDooDooBritches ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH! A bullshit artist.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
:)
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:09 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
anonymous_potato ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:42:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, the movie came out before "movie clips" was a thing.
h3r4ld ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 16:17:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except he doesn't say fuck.
The_MF_Franklin ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 18:40:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oi
mexicanbluegrass ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:07:19 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was sittin' flickin' chickens, And I'm looking through the pickins', When suddenly these goys break down my walls, I didn't even know them , And they grab me by the scrotum , And they started playing ping-pong with my balls
phome83 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:27:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oi the agony, ooo the shame!
To make my privates public for a game!
the_dude_upvotes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:50:20 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oui oui?
Yes a lot of it
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:56:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
packardpa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:09:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the Oi dude....
Entropy- ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:01:03 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What does he say
h3r4ld ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 20:06:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Oy'
Bohnanza ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 22:10:40 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And it's much, much funnier that way.
ranga_tayng ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:38:30 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jerry Seinfeld approves this message.
Lies-All-The-Time ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 22:17:25 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was funnier with the fuck.
PoniardBlade ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:40:58 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "Oy" because Moses is actually Jewish (a Hebrew).
Entropy- ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:11:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks
the_dude_upvotes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:56:07 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it "oy" in the unedited version too? I thought I recalled it being "shit"
On second thought maybe I'm confusing that scene with the Roman Empire where he accuses the emperor of being corrupt.
h3r4ld ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:58:47 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's been a while, but I'm pretty sure you are. "...and it goes all the way up to the Emperor! ..Shit."
the_dude_upvotes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:12:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that one I'm 100% sure of. The other one I'm less sure and it's hard to tell from the youtube clips which version they were recorded from.
EDIT: Boy when you die at the palace you really die at the palace
fantasyham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:26 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's "oy". Just watched it to be sure.
Empyrealist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses absolutely says "oy", cuz he's a Jew. Comicus says "shit", cuz he's a bullshit artist.
the_dude_upvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:15 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you bullshit last week?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:30:45 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got irrationally upset about that.
Ychip ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:47:46 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the person who made it thinks cursing is funny and doesn't understand subtlety.
kaplanfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stop your kvetching.
naksidras ยท -44 points ยท Posted at 19:33:18 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
True, but it's clearly funnier if you think he did. Right? <sarcasm>
caffpanda ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:32:02 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. Imagining Moses dropping a tablet of the commandments and exclaiming in Yiddish is much funnier.
naksidras ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 21:56:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sarcasm not a thing anymore? Alright then.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe "Oi" is Hebrew for "fuck"?
h3r4ld ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:25:00 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's 'oy;' and no, it isn't.
NotKony ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 22:01:45 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he's a pussy.
[deleted] ยท 169 points ยท Posted at 20:01:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses actually broke the first set of commandments in anger and had to go back up the mountain for 40 more days to get new ones
Rebel_Saint ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 20:31:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
At least he was smart enough to back up his files.
PoloJuice ยท 187 points ยท Posted at 22:54:59 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's why he had to go up the mountain, they were in cloud storage.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:04:11 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is so cheesy it's brilliant.
fiveSE7EN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:24:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he saved them in HTML: Horrendously Tall Mountain Language
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Streeeeeeetch
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:32:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he got the deity backup plan
Trollw00t ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:08:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The Mighty CloudThe Holy Clouduptwolait ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Saves.
Shouldn't you?
deltadal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:45 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the cloud
omnilynx ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:42:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also God made the first ones directly, but he made Moses chisel the second set himself.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:20:00 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have bought insurance for his tablets.
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:44 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's what you get for chimping out on the lifetime replacement plan.
Strikedestiny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:13 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Why am I doing this? Do it yourself!"
fall3nang3l ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:42:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying incite any rage, just genuinely curious. How is one man claiming to hear the voice of God and writing it down for others to read any different than the Mormon guy claiming he found those gold plates that only he could translate? Same kind of deal, right?
Furthermore, why could someone from Moses' time get away with such a thing when today all sorts of people claim to hear the voice of Jesus or God and they're just mentally unstable rather than prophetic?
Cessnaporsche01 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 21:53:03 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there were the plagues and miracles that he brought down in the name of God. I mean, you can believe that or not, but that's why people were willing to believe he was actually talking to God. The Mormon guy and the wackos have nothing but their own word, and a good few people still followed the Mormon guy.
fall3nang3l ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:12:58 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But roll back the clock. Find someone very good at noticing signs. Animals can sense certain natural events before they happen, perhaps someone else was able to figure out a system to predict plagues and most of those same miracles could easily be reproduced by slight of hand or subterfuge.
I'm not saying it didn't happen as the Bible lays it out. Just that I find it interesting that millions have believed in events that happened a long time ago when if those same events happened today they would be dismissed.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:22:38 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Moses literally hit a rock with his staff and water came out of it. God actually spoke (with every person present to hear) on top of the mountain as lightning and clouds encircled it when Moses went up. Moses did many miracles in front of the people (including splitting an entire sea) so they could make it to what is now modern day Israel from Egypt.
If all of this indeed happened, who in their right mind wouldn't follow this guy?
code0011 ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 22:26:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I think it's sufficient grounds for calling hacks and banning him from the server
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:29:40 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He got banned from the promised land right? Hackers get what they deserve.
Taktika420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:48 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/outside
shifty313 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:32 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
stupid godmode
ameristraliacitizen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:32 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
VACT
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:44:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they were parading a golden calf around....
leighbo ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 00:00:51 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"literally" Yep, because these things happened...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:38:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Great contribution to the discussion, friend
ghs145 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:22:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You'll always find people who dismiss things though. Some believe the moon isn't real. People believe because they were taught to believe, or because they want to believe that this(our life on earth) isn't the ending of the story. It's called Faith for a reason.
It's as simple as that.
*this is coming from a Southern Baptist who struggles with having Faith a lot.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:07 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're really comparing doubting some man talking about a burning bush that has the voice of god with people who think the moon is not real? I think the burning bush crowd has far more in common with people who argue moon is made from cheese.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're twisting my words to fit your agenda. I said people dismiss things, in that some can't accept facts.
And really? Are you a Moon truther, or just trying to make light of religious people?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:10 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But someone who dismisses the burning bush story, is not someone who can't accept facts. It's just someone who dismisses fantastical stories lacking evidence, as we should.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One again, you have masterfully twisted my words. I said dismiss because he was saying if the events described in the bible happened today, they would be dismissed. I said that people will always dismiss things regardless, its almost human nature.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:19 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, when Man walked on the Moon most people didn't dismiss it. When Jesus' face appears on someone's cheese sandwich as a sign of a miracle, most people dismiss it. So it's not human nature to always dismiss things, only silly things such as burning bushes or Jesus imprinted cheese toasties as divine miracles. It's very simple really. The reason things that happened in the Bible don't happen today is because those things didn't actually happen, they are just the myths and superstitions that history have carried on and some believe today.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I said SOME, you said MOST. Once again, you are grasping at straws trying to make an arguement. I'll stop you right here though, I do not care what you have to say about religion.
You've twisted my words enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:44 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dude - I can actually quote exactly what you said:
People. Always. Human Nature. So you are not even saying most people as I suggested, but, it seems, ALL.
ghs145 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Paraphrasing because I'm lazy, but that is the very first comment I made.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:28 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmm, not sure what the argument is supposed to be about anymore.
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:34 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
fall3nang3l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:54 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but my point is that faith was not a leap in the Bible, at least not to the same degree it is today. Why would an omnipotent being be so active in the lives of his creations for such an extended period of time and the suddenly vanish from the scene leaving it all to blind faith and trusting in a book to carry on such a legacy.
I know it's a pithy argument. But as someone who would believe if there were evidence, I find the fact that we are expected to believe despite a complete lack of evidence to be counterintuitive.
Why would a God who was perfectly fine with showing his presence to the masses through incredible occurrences all the sudden choose to just let it all play out and let faith in an ancient text determine who was worthy and who was damned?
Ganjisseur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:15 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because he wanted to help us in our infancy to move forward in society with morals and we proceeded to spend every decade disobeying the commandments.
Hell if it were me after sending my son down there and having him crucified just for saying "hey maybe we should be nicer," I'd say I'm pretty much done with humans for a while after that.
jimmydorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:41 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it has something to do with the other 5 commandments?
tmtmac18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:32 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But... You knew it was going to happen before you even created them?
fall3nang3l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:55 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But in order for that to be true, humanity could only be thousands of years old. Science has pretty thoroughly refuted that. What of other people who didn't live in that area at the time?
Neolife ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:44:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where does that state anything about the age, in years, of humanity? He just said that maybe God wanted to help us as we, as a species, developed. Then, after he sent his son to be crucified for us, he was "done". No statement about the age of humanity there, since science has pretty thoroughly refuted the concept of Young Earth creationism.
Also, Christianity doesn't state that Jesus just died for people in that area, or just at that time. That sacrifice was for all people.
fall3nang3l ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:06 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He said "in our infancy". As a species. Or as a people. Or whatever. Regardless of what exactly he meant by infancy, humanity was by no means in any way in a stage of infancy during Biblocal times unless you're commenting on knowledge of sciences and technology at that time. The genealogy of the Bible cannot possible go back to the first man because it simply doesn't span enough time. Unless you believe that people really lived for thousands of years at some point, which there is absolutely no evidence to support.
And I didn't say anything about Jesus and the cross. That obviously came later chronologically. What about the flood? Did Asia or Africa not exist then? Aside from the fact that there is no evidence of any great flood such as is described in the Bible, surely you are not trying to contend that it was an actual flood as the Bible suggests. At best it is a metaphor. For what I have no idea.
Neolife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:49 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, of course it's a metaphor. The whole Old Testament is, generally, a metaphor. Maybe some parts are factual (historically speaking), but the rest of it is certainly metaphorical and written much later than it happened. Much, much later.
Also, typically, "Biblical times" refers to the time around the life of Jesus, so about 2000 years ago, during the early stages of the Roman Empire (Caesar Augustus is mentioned during the birth story in Luke).
I personally wouldn't refer to that time as humanity "in its infancy" since it had already seen the establishment and collapse of many large civilizations and strong connections between the regions of the world near modern-day Europe and the Middle/Near East. If I were to pick a time in the Bible when humanity was in its infancy, likely moral-wise, it would be the early chapters of Genesis.
The original comment to which you replied is likely just misworded here, since the key part to take away from his suggestion is that God essentially saw what he sent Jesus to do as the solution. He came at a time when society was connected enough that his teachings would make an impact on a large scale (granted, many early stages of Christianity veered from these teachings of peace, notably seen in the Crusades) and would last.
The ultimate sacrifice meant that God no longer needed to use prophets or miracles, as his creation was now saved by his actions, not ours. We had been remade as the perfect creation he had originally intended.
There are plenty of ways to poke holes here and make logical arguments against the core assumptions, but it will come down to just philosophical disagreements at that point, since the choice to believe that is exactly that - a choice. It isn't based on logical arguments or requirement of proof of existence in order to accept the existence of what I've described. You simply accept if that is what you want to believe, and then live out your belief in those teachings through your actions.
And the most important part of the teachings of Jesus is to learn from the teachings, not necessarily accept all of the detailed descriptions and rituals associated with the religion. Be kind, be peaceful, turn the other cheek, be accepting, do not be greedy, give to those who need help, treat others as you want to be treated. That's the big stuff that too often gets lost in debates over things that don't affect the core tenants of the religion.
Sorry if I've delved deeper than you wanted to go. To answer your questions directly: the original commenter's use of "infancy" is likely just misworded; better to just look at the general idea that Jesus' death prevented the need for miracles and the like. Yes, the flood is a metaphor, along with the vast majority of Old Testament stories, which were written way after they were even claimed to have happened.
keewa09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:27 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fascinating how he became very shy as our ability to capture things in photos and films increased, uh?
Algernon8 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. The Pharaoh at the time had his experts refute the plagues with their science and reasoning, so Pharaoh didn't really believe it. Up until the final plague that wiped out every firstborn in Egypt. That's when Pharaoh concedes and lets the Israelites go
keewa09 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:29:18 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's just a story, though. There's no evidence any of that ever happened and plenty of reasons that make it absurd.
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:50 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really. So the definition of Godmode is disobeying the rules of the server made for the creations of the server. And Satan is part of the server trying to tell them that there is no God in order for them to go back to nonexistence with him instead of existing forever with God. It's one huge fantasy that you just have to believe. You can't prove it. You can't reach the center of the circle with science. That is why pi is infinite.
keewa09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:22:26 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just think of god as nonexistent until someone can prove her existence.
That's the only intellectually honest position.
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:20 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are absolutely correct.
Cessnaporsche01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:28:56 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
For one thing, fewer people would have been able to understand many or any natural reasons for the plagues happening, so, caused by God or not, if they did occur, especially with Moses proclaiming God's wrath in the immediate vicinity, they would lend credence.
And to be fair, if stuff like that happened today, I think even quite cynical unbelievers would be questioning themselves. Most people who don't believe the Biblical account nowadays, seem to think that the Israelites invented the story around the exodus to justify their conquest. ... And the Egyptian side of that history may be missing, as the Egyptians had an annoying habit of erasing any history of their failures.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:03:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:22 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You are absolutely correct as well, if you really are a good person in your heart you will go to heaven no matter what. Jesus came not to save the righteous but the ones living in darkness. That is to say, the ones who made life terrible for their fellow humans. As humanity becomes more and more civilized we need Jesus less and less because we no longer live in darkness. It's a beautiful story. You can't prove. You get to read it and make whatever you want out of it. All that matters is that you're a good person.
fall3nang3l ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:58 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I would not call myself a believer. Yet many incredible things have happened since biblical times that mirror or trump those proclaimed in the Bible. We know of unbelievable, terrific things that we can explain with science. So I have to wonder, purely as a curious person and not someone looking to oust religion, that if science in its present form was around during those times if any of the wonderful, miraculous occurrences would have been seen as such.
keewa09 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People tell you that alien abductions are absurd even though they could interview people who allegedly were abducted.
But when it comes to a 2,000 year old book written by goat herders and not corroborated by a single other event or book at the time... Word of God! Irrefutable and perfect.
Gullibility is a terrible plague on our society.
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
PleaseExplainThanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:43 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if someone could produce the 10 plauges as told in the Bible in a reasonable amount of time inbetween each plague, I'd be a bit frightened.
(Copy/pasted from Wikipedia)
3.1 1. Water into blood (ืึธื): Ex. 7:14โ24
3.2 2. Frogs (ืฆึฐึผืคึทืจึฐืึตึผืขึท): Ex. 7:25โ8:15
3.3 3. Lice (ืึดึผื ึดึผืื): Ex. 8:16โ19
3.4 4. Wild animals, possibly flies (ืขึธืจืึนื): Ex. 8:20โ32
3.5 5. Diseased livestock (ืึถึผืึถืจ): Ex. 9:1โ7
3.6 6. Boils (ืฉึฐืืึดืื): Ex. 9:8โ12
3.7 7. Thunderstorm of hail and fire (ืึธึผืจึธื): Ex. 9:13โ35
3.8 8. Locusts (ืึทืจึฐืึถึผื): Ex. 10:1โ20
3.9 9. Darkness (ืืึนืฉึถื): Ex. 10:21โ29
3.10 10. Death of firstborn (ืึทืึทึผืช ืึฐึผืืึนืจืึนืช): Ex. 11:1โ12:36
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all and does "magic" because He is the composition of light itself. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
canadademon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fear and a lack of education can do wondrous things...
--Danger-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:56 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, they only kinda sorta believed him, too
as soon as he was gone from their camp, they started worshipping a golden calf since, well, cow worship seemed more likely to get them out of the wilderness than crazy ocean-parting old man moses.
so basically they believed him as long as they could see him. :p
5k3k73k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:29 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That is a horrible counter argument. You are just reading more of the same myth. That is like saying that Spiderman is real because he also appears on pages 27,28, and 29.
If you want to go that route I could argue that Joseph Smith's authenticity is collaborated by his magic rock and hat.
TagicalMux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:58 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
At least three men claimed they were shown the metallic plates that contained the original copy of the Book of Mormon by an angel who came down from heaven. Joseph Smith and others reportedly performed many other miracles such as healings. (Lest someone claim these reports were merely lies told by conspiracy, consider that these stories happened over decades, that people from across the globe or at least the US, who would have likely had zero prior contact with Joseph Smith etc., no reason to lie for him, came to believe him and testify on these things. Of course there are other explanations for why they could lie or be deceived, I'm just saying it's clearly not a simple case of him and his uneducated backwoods buddies cooking up a fraud on one night when they were bored.)
I am a believing Mormon, but the point of this is not to argue about that -- it's to say that "nothing but their own word" seems a stretch in the case of the early Mormon prophets, and that it's not hard for me to objectively imagine that in Moses's day people could have said the same skeptical things about him. The skeptical accounts didn't survive, and the believing accounts could have been amplified to be more impressive through retelling over the years. (As a side note on the skepticism of Moses, Mormons believe the Bible to be the word of God, to the extent that it was translated correctly.)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
TagicalMux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:31 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Probably the clearest Bible scripture on the 10% payment is Malachi 3:10. From the King James version: "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." The gist of that and the surrounding verses is that paying that 10% (the definition of the word tithe) brings physical as well as spiritual rewards. The commandment is repeated in modern Mormon scriptures such as Doctrine & Covenants 97:12.
Don't you think "nobody has a true bible" can create just as much separation and division in society, since there are so many who do have a holy text they believe is true? (maybe not exclusively true.)
What is inherently wrong about a religion asking for money? Or is it maybe that for Mormons it's not "asking"? (If you don't know, Mormons who don't pay their tithing are not considered worthy to participate in some things such as going to Mormon temples. It is up to the individual to assess and report their own compliance to the law of tithing, and even the definition such as whether it's counted before tax or after. I am fairly sure a person's bishop is supposed to trust them and trust God to dole out the consequences of lying, especially since it's possible to pay tithing directly to the Church headquarters so that the bishop would be unaware how much they've paid.)
I don't want to leave your other points unacknowledged, but this is getting long and I'm not sure what to say. I think I understand where you're coming from though. Thanks for the kind words.
keewa09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are just stories written by a handful of people. Pretty obvious none of this ever happened.
msc1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:44:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yes
turducken138 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:09 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming you believe the story, I think Moses was also a leader, responsible for the Exodus, which included multiple miracles. Meanwhile Joseph Smith was some random dude.
I think it'd be more like if Kim Jong Un kept North Korea safe through war with the rest of the world, and then after the world gives up he claimed to speak for god. Or at the very least convinced a bunch of people that's what happened.
fall3nang3l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:39 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good analogy.
mrbooze ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The main difference is the second man did it recently enough that we can pretty much prove its horseshit.
Macemoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:53 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Time.
In ~1000 years, Scientology will have a long history. People will have original copies of Dianetics in glass cases in the library and argue about which of his children is the true heir to... whatever.
keewa09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:30 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because the people back then had the understanding of the universe of a six year old today.
It's mystifying that there are still so many people who believe this stuff in the 21st century.
mtbr311 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get back to /r/athiesm with your logical line of questioning!
canadademon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:00 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like /r/agnostic
/u/fall3nang3l is merely questioning, not stating that he doesn't believe.
Mshell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:37 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But but but, you are bringing logic into a religious discussion.
hellosexynerds ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:56 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's not what either of those words mean. Atheist comes from two words "A" meaning not and "theist" meaning...get this...theist. Atheist means non-theist. That is all it means. There are no other requirements to be an atheist. If you are not a follower of a theistic religion than you are an atheist.
canadademon ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but you're kind of an idiot.
seandan317 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:11 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They are both made up that's why
--Repetitive-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Think of God as infinitely tiny. Beyond light. The center of the circle. That is what Christians believe. So they believe God can talk to them through their own head because He is basically the basis of all. And He teaches them to do absolute good and love in order to go back to being one with the Light. One in paradise, where the trials and tribulations of this world no longer exist. It's all based in faith really.
Yserbius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:14:51 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because all of the Children of Israel heard it spoken by Hashem. Moses just brought it down in writing.
Algonquin_Snodgrass ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:39:38 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the new ones were different.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:59 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
uhhh, where does it say that?
DaveChild ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:00:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In the bible? There are three different sets of ten commandments..
hellosexynerds ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:25:39 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yup few people realize this. The ONLY place were the actual text of the bible says ten commandments are not the modern 10 that are mentioned today. Those actual ten commandments say things like not to cook milk with meat so I hope none of you have been doing that.
hyyerr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:33 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shit! no more Milksteaks
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:31 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That would include cheese burgers and philly cheese steaks.
D3PyroGS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:53 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do I still get to eat my raw jellybeans?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:23 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, because they might contain jello from pigs and pigs are unclean.
Alexander_Baidtach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:10 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God he made a redraft, cuts, milk boiled, steak.
Ganjisseur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:53 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't seem like a bad gig.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TIL, we're those written on the stone tablets or do we not know? I knew there were other laws by the time of Exodus but didn't know they were also officially deemed the commandments as well
Algonquin_Snodgrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exodus chapter 34: see verse 1, then verses 10 through 28. This is all after Moses broke the first set of Ten Commandments earlier. You can see another version of them as spoken by the mouth of God in chapter 20. And another alternate version in Deuteronomy 5.
duckandcover ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:46:33 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"actually"
Trevork60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:38 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who was the greatest sinner of all time?
Moses, he broke all 10 at once.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think I have too lol
Trevork60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So you've murdered someone while committing adultery and coveting your neighbor's stuff?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly enough, the Bible mentions that hatred counts as murder to God and lustful thoughts count as adultery. God cares most about the hearts intentions, so intending to commit either is essentially doing them because God looks at the hearts desires. So when you look at it that way, doing all 10 at once seem more possible.
--Danger-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:53 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
he got really pissed when he saw that golden calf
i always thought moses was an unrealistic character
really, you went through so much to escape, get free, wander in the wilderness, struggle, all kinds of weird shit happened, then you saw one thing that pissed you off so you lose your shit entirely and throw down the thing you just got from god?! come on. just come on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can easily flip that logic. He went through so much with the Israelites and did saw so many signs and acts from God with them, that he was even more pissed when he saw them easily discard God for an idol. After all he went through, that should be infuriating.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:13:19 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:39:24 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow so clever
frank89909 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:42:02 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha
[deleted] ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 20:03:15 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
better without the "fuck" IMHO
MonsieurCandie ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 21:59:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Yeah, the fuck is just there to amuse the 14 year olds.
Edit: It would have just been funnier if there was a pause. But whatever. Since you guys like the word fuck so much, go fuck yourselves you stupid fucking ugly fucks.
kwking13 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:03:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
31 here...i was amused by the fuck. I would've probably been equally amused by "oi" or really any other fitting word. I don't really care...was amused.
the_dude_upvotes ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good news! Fuck is actually misquoted
kwking13 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:57:24 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I know...not the point
MonsieurCandie ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 22:04:39 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you, papa bless.
demize69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:18 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well that escalated quickly...
xbtdev ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the 37 year olds apparently.
MonsieurCandie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm 87 and found the fuck amusing"...like I give a shit. I don't get these replies.
xbtdev ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:34 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I understand where you're coming from; You're easily offended by words, and anyone who doesn't find them offensive must be immature. Saying "it's not funny" is just a cover for "i find it offensive".
MonsieurCandie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:35:44 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not offended by the word fuck, you fuck.
xbtdev ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:52:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hilarious response.
MonsieurCandie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:01:16 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yours is any better? Go be a lame ass somewhere else, nerd.
xbtdev ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:18:50 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, calling other people 14.
MonsieurCandie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:25:37 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
๐ด
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:42:40 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, 14 year olds and smelly man-children
Chamrox ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 19:30:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Say what you want, History of the World: Part 2 was much funnier.
TheCannon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:24:30 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's good to be the King.
deltadal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OH pissboy. pissboy, over here.
zoeynell ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:14:48 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See Hitler on Ice!
Jews in space!
mfg_colour ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 20:47:31 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
does not say fuck
Dhnatch66 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:48:56 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the line is oy I believe
srry72 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 19:25:21 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting for Hitler on ice
nandrizzle ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 19:40:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting for Jews in Space.
Carrisonfire ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:46:05 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't that essentially become Spaceballs?
KyfeHeartsword ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:20:18 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it did. But now I'm still waiting for Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
eternally-curious ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:42:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm waiting for Spaceballs 3: The Search for Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
HairyDBZ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:42:44 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't that essentially become Star Wars Episode 7?
strikeout34 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They totally missed an opportunity to comb the desert for BB-8.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:50 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
and germannnyy
Kingofclean ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:29:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oy.
AnneBancroftsGhost ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:24:16 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oy.
PM_ME_TIGHT_CLOTHES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:07 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ake?
MarkyOchoa ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:19:16 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://gfycat.com/SaneSelfishCowrie
nujabesrip ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:10:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Gif lies. He doesn't say "fuck".
username___taken ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:13:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood why Mel Brooks chose to drop the table in his right hand as opposed to the one in his left that was balanced under his chin.
aposter ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:47:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought it was the whole right to left writing thing with Hebrew. The tablet in his right hand would be the leftmost for the readers facing him, so that would be commandments 11-15.
zelbo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:24:41 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Easier to avoid breaking a toe?
username___taken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:31:01 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Take one for comedy?
SvenHudson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:50 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's easier to drop one out of one than one out of two.
Osiris32 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:14:17 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
History of the World Part 1 reference?
SirDooDooBritches ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:01:04 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The jig is UP!
Holoholokid ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:10:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And GONE!
mackey187 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:40:37 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You flunked flank?
asap ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:01 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Get the flunk out of here
the_dude_upvotes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:59:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Run with mucus!
the_dude_upvotes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:23 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This would make a great up vote gif
mage2k ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
His dick is up!
Edit: To whoever's downvoting there, this is what is said in the movie just after what happens in the GIF.
notanartmajor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:52:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It isn't though. The line is "The jig is up!"
mage2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:23 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doh. I just checked and you're right. I always thought he said dick when I was a kid :/
iamironsheik ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:20:24 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not quoted correctly. Cannot upvote
MYTBUSTOR ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:37:36 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There were actually 613 commandments, but the first 10 are all that people talk about.
PlasmaBurnz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:25:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
So yeah, it happened. Just not on accident, but because Moses was angry at his people for being idolatrous. Don't worry, even if anger was just Moses's excuse, he just went back to get new ones.
TheCannon ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:26:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
spaceflunky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is god my wife? Because this sounds an awful lot like my wife...
boundlessbird20 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:05 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a highly underrated comment. Have an upvote
TheCannon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:36 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing God as a passive-aggressive Jewish Mother:
last657 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And all 10 would probably have been on both. Moses just held onto god's copy
hellosexynerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:06 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the second ten that god made were different:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+34%3A14-27&version=NIV
Mohammed420blazeit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:03 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought there were 600 commandments.
milldent01 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Don't get saucy with me Bรฉarnaise!
fantasyham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:30 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I never got that joke until now. To be fair, I didn't know about sauces back then.
Jack_Scallywag ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 20:56:18 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
11-15 must of contained the bits about slavery, rape and misogyny.
hellosexynerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:18 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
As someone else mentioned elsewhere god did send different commandments down after moses broke the first ten in anger when he returned and found the Israelis worshiping a bronze cow. When moses went to get the commandments again they were very different. Read for yourself straight out of the bible:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus+34%3A14-27&version=NIV
Jack_Scallywag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:09:10 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for sharing. Never knew and I find this fascinating. "Don't cook a baby goat in its mothers milk.". It's this kind of bible language in my opinion that exposes it as man made, not divinely inspired.
joavim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:00:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly not as important as remembering not to say his name without good reason.
mtbr311 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:19:36 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You used the word "good"
That's awful close to the word "God." You're walking a fine line there, mister.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 22:23:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lonelylunar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:05 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seemed like a joke to me
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:41 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"All I said was that the soup was good enough for Jehovah!"
curzon176 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:10 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That was the only part of that movie i remember. It was frickin hilarious. Moses should have dropped one of the two tablets he was struggling to hold with one hand though. That would have made more sense.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly! Or at least kind of made it look like one of the ones in the hand holding two started to slip, and in recovering it, he dropped the one in his other hand.
mrbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:14 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always remember this part.
jimmydorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:44 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that have been commandments 1-5 or 6-10 then? The joke wouldn't work. He should have held two in the hand he dropped from.
EL337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:49 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
should have seen him at the top trying to carry 613 down, lol
catherded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:38 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still use this joke on philosophy students.
http://youtu.be/tl4VD8uvgec
vankirk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a stand up philosopher.
fantasyham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:06 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What?
vankirk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:37 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/tl4VD8uvgec
crawlingcrabs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:03 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
11 was probably Thou shalt not use religion as an excuse to kill people.
cunt_smasher12 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:15:11 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Never fails to amuse" = "This is a repost"
the_logic_engine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:05 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, at least he was honest about it
joephusweberr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:04:50 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so that's where the one about rape went!
ganner ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:08:54 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the all important commandment 15: Be excellent to each other
Pliskin28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:48:07 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What would be those 5 missing commandments?
gee_buttersnaps ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:58:05 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Brush and floss regularly.
No loud noises after 10pm.
Curb thy pet.
Refrigerate after opening.
No means no.
the_dude_upvotes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:56 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about commandments to dispute it
RouseHouse1013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:05 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The first Ten Commandments form the Bill of Rights in our Constitution I believe.
Vader_evader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:21:44 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Speculate as to what was on the other slab.
isidero ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:30:37 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Monty python?
Rhypskallion ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 15:42:29 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mel Brooks' History of the World Part I. Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXOkYyKawrg
isidero ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:28 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Haha looks fantastic. Will watch it soon. Thanks!
manachar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:20:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh you lucky person!
If you've not also seen Mel Brooks' other films I highly recommend them. Blazing Saddles, Spaceballs, The Producers, Young Frankenstein, Robin Hood: Men in Tights... so many great comedies.
Truan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:12:55 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
note that there are two versions of The Producers, and they both need to be watched.
manachar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:19:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I mostly prefer the first one (I'm a Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder kinda guy), but there's some great stuff in the new one too. Wish I could see it on stage.
KyfeHeartsword ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:33:03 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it on stage at the Hippodrome in Baltimore right after the theater had just been restored. Not the Broadway cast, but Uma Thurman was there during the intermission talking about the film adaptation and signing autographs. She's a tall lady.
Truan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:47 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer the actors of the first, but I do love the fact that it's a musical. Springtime for hitler is just way more epic that way. And something about getting the gay producer to play it instead of a strung out hippie just appealed to me more.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:31 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Also watch the curb season with The Producers as a storyline
Truan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ahahaha, I loved it. Ben Stiller and whatever Ross' real name was great
isidero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:02:20 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks a lot! Already love some clips available on youtube. You guys have made my weekend!
godpigeon79 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Part 2 is the best though.
The_MF_Franklin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:40:44 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler on ice!
Truan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:12:33 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And Jews in Space!
Osiris32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:50 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Spriiiiiiing time, for Hitler, and Germanyyyyy,
Winter for England, and Fraaaaaance!
MKIS101010 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:01:08 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mel Brooks, who is basically the American Monty Python
der_titan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:46 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting guess! I never thought about the similarities before: irreverence, slapstick, vulgarity yet still able to use nuance.
alJizzerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:31 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mel Brooks (History of the World, Part I)
pufmicmuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:28:35 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Iv never laughed at any thing on this sub Reddit until now, thank you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:15 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope one of them 5 is "Use thine fucking common sense"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:10 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"For A-ha-ll to obey..."
Sounds like he made himself laugh.
steelerengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:09 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When games leave early access.
Froggy_hop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, so that's where the one that said "Don't be a dick" went.
foston22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:47 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
absolute classic
2Whitw2Chocolate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
fuck
Hawk798 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:20 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only Mel Brooks could do this. Besides, he is right. It's good t be the king
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:17 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Slow funny day...
kurisu7885 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:59 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine "Don't be a dick" was on the one that fell.
vegetaman3113 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:39 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We are armed with MIGHTY JOINT!
FallenButNotForgoten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:14 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is this from?
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:19 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite is still the bit where Moses parts the waters....because he's being robbed.
"....and keep em up!"
"....I'm an old man! Ya' sonofabitch! Ya bastid! They don't let ya live...."
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:47 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? No love for the Vnemployment Office scene?
microdon23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:02 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mel's the best.
jplevene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I always wondered what the broken 5 said. Anybody read Hebrew?
crashkg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:28 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I like this version of Moses from And God Spoke
steelierdan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I 'm still waiting for part 2. Don't make a trailer if you have no intention to actually make the movie!
fantasyham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it was a trailer from the future. Once the jews make it to space, then we can have part 2.
EngineOfDestruction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:34 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this in my catholic school religion class last week.
mrbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"BOB? Oh, Bob? Do I have any openings that this man might fit?"
TWeis2195 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love that there is no reason for him to have dropped one.
c3_h8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:31 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Such a great scene!
dualaudi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:59 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still waiting for part 2 to come out with Hitler on ice.
combatwombat8D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:49 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: He doesn't say fuck in the movie. That's all there is in the comments. Turn back now.
PancakesandMaggots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:53 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember making a joke like this once thinking it was original... now im sad:(
localanti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:21 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I should say "10! 10 commandments!" It annoys me way more then it should that it does not
YakiVegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:26 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That other one must have been the one that had "Thou shalt not rape," because otherwise I don't know how god missed that one. Or slavery.
KalutikaKink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:00 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Love that movie. Downvote for the fuck of it.
jonnyfgm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:06 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't moses actually get hundreds of commandments, and the Christians decided to just ignore most of them?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:06:58 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So I suppose it's in 11-15 where God got to say something about the rather fundamental morality stuff that's missing in 1-10, so God forbids genocide, rape, child abuse, slavery and using the phrase "Just saying!"
PlasmaBurnz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:48 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Genocide is covered by 'thou shalt not murder', rape is covered by 'thou shall not commit adultery', child abuse is covered by 'honor your father and mother', and slavery is covered by 'thou shall not steal'. You're asking for redundancy. But you only like rules that let you talk shit about other people and avoid the ones that require sacrifices on your part.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:39:09 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You probably need to look at the definition of rape and the definition of adultery. They are two different things. Adulterers are not rapists, rapists are not necessarily adulterers. People who honor their parents very much can and do abuse children. And people who don't steal can also own slaves, illustrious people like the Founding Fathers and indeed many Biblical figures did just that. Unless you think George Washington was a thief. Indeed, the Bible is very much pro-slavery. Most of your points are so non-sensical I'm not entirely sure you are not just taking the piss, but this is reddit, and I imagine, sadly, you are not.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In this context, adultery means any banned sexual activity.
Cfattie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There are actually many more than 10 commandments (over 600 iirc).
But even then I can answer everything mentioned with 2 of the top 10 commandments, along with 1 of 2 of Jesus's top commandments.
Against genocide, "thou shalt not murder."
Against rape, "thou shalt not covet."
Against child abuse, "love your neighbor as yourself." I interpret neighbor to mean anyone you meet. This is because the text does not specify to what degree the relativity of 'neighbor' applies. Abusing your neighbor is quite clearly not an act of loving as you would love yourself. If you abuse yourself... you need help.
Against "slavery", not much. Slavery is supposed to be a more give and take relationship than how it has played out throughout history. The bible explains that slaves should obey their masters and masters should treat their slaves with care and dignity. Against the historic ways of slavery, "love your neighbor as yourself."
Against "just saying!", I don't quite understand so I can't answer. Just saying.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Against child abuse, the Bible offers this little nugget of wisdom, which in its specificity probably overrules the much more vague Love thy neighbour:
Numbers 31:17-18 Now therefore kill every male among the little ones (taph), and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the female children (taph), that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves.
So - killing young boys okay? Yes, check. Keep the young girls for yourself to do as you please? Yep, no problem.
And are you trying to rationalise slavery?!? As a not so bad thing where nice masters took care of their nice slaves? Are you from the American South by any chance?
Cfattie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:25 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I wrote a huge response but I deleted it. I've done this too many times and I don't really want to argue again. Based on past experiences, the person I speak to never properly reads what I type anyway. Cool off your head and you'll notice I don't try to rationalize 'slavery' as in "slavery is good because the Bible says so durr hurr" but rather that the Bible explains that a proper slave/master relationship is one that exchanges a slave's loyalty with a master's proper care. Does slavery as the history books know it display that kind of slavery? No. So don't go there. EDIT: Also I have to note that slavery is no longer required or even beneficial for our current social infrastructure.
My book-long argument against your Bible excerpt boiled down to "you took the verse out of its historical context". The bigger picture is that we live in the 21st century. The people mentioned in the Bible did not. They lived in an age where people died all the time and women had no direct power (indirect e.g. swaying men into making decisions in their favor). (Note: Women in America got the right to vote in 1920. This event took place less than 100 years ago.)Relative to the time period, the death and slavery mentioned in the excerpt is not really headline news. Do keep in mind that it's not like the young Midianite girls were thrown into a sausage fest free-for-all. All parties are still subject to the Biblical law (remember the slave/master relationship? obedience and care. The care doesn't suddenly disappear).
So in both cases, no. There is no abuse. In a Biblically lawful relationship, anyway. Obviously some people did not follow the rules. There's no denying that.
EDIT: You can reply if you like. I can't guarantee I will want to explain anything further though. Feel free to read my comments another time. They might make more sense to you later.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:01 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Depends what the argument is. If the argument is that the Bible is a set of rules cooked up by a bunch of people living in the desert thousands of years ago, attributed to God, and reflective of the morality of their time and place - then I completely agree.
However, many people, hundreds of millions as a matter of fact, argue that this old book is the word of God and should form the moral basis for how we live today. In that context, you can't get away with saying that all the slavery, genocide, child abuse and other extremely disturbing stuff demanded and encouraged by God is okay because of the historical context. If you believe that the creator of the universe, is the entity behind the bible, then you have to do some pretty extreme mental gymnastics to reconcile that God with an entity that's supposed to be moral - something that I believe I'm witnessing right now, and is somewhat entertaining, somewhat sad.
Cfattie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:48 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't even read the whole thing. Alright cool man thanks for this opportunity. There's no convincing someone who believes firmly in a statement with the word 'probably' in it (that they inserted themselves).
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:13 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, walk away, no worries.
PlasmaBurnz ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:28:20 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm familiar with the dictionary and words, but I'm also familiar with the fact that the bible wasn't written in English. There is also the fact that this is a code of law that needs interpretation and integration. It establishes principles for doing justice. The moral law is better when written out because even those who have been corrupted can better understand their punishments.
Slavery is stealing the wages of the person. Indeed denying a worker his due wages is described in the bible as an abomination. George Washington was a thief. Fuck that guy.
Speaking of taking a piss....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:12 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please put .gifv at the end of the link instead of .gif because it loads much faster:) Like this: http://i.imgur.com/NdPE7mX.gifv
gotnate ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:05:20 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The gigabit internet connection I was on last week says otherwise. The .gif loaded faster than the .mp4.
SnupesMckee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:12 on January 8, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wow what a badass!!
Rickst75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:37 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That' movie doesn't get enough credit compared to his others. I love it.
FoodBeerBikesMusic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:08 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Dunno. I think this one was killer, right up until they left Rome. Then it got kind of dull.
stefannnn77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:02 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder what the other 5 rules were
vth0mas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:19 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still not as funny as the actual 10.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:22 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jorumvar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:57:27 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
But that creates, for me, a paradox. According to XV, I'm not supposed to believe the last five commandments. But that means I don't believe commandment XV. Which would then mean that I DO believe commandments XI-XV. But then I can't believe commandment XV. So thus I must either disregard commandment XV, or believe it when it tells me I shouldn't.
Fuck it, ima go kill someone now.
SilentBobTalksToMe ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:34:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
when i was a young kid i asked my dad if there was a chance there was another 5 commandments that moses dropped and he proceeded to show me this movie.
der_titan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Silent Bob's real name?
Max Brooks
SilentBobTalksToMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:29 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
my dad wishes
KatherineDuskfire ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:33:43 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What i love is in 10 commandments anyway --- he throws them so its like wtf how do they know what was really said
MyOldNameSucked ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:04 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1 of those 5 commandment was probably "Thou shalt not rape".
Eilephant ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:13:57 on January 7, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A well placed fuck is always pleasing.