We were asked to not call the coffee table a “coffee table” since we didn’t drink coffee. I think we called it a sofa table. Anyone else have stupid Mormon-based quirks in your mo-mo family? Just me? Ok, cool.....

My grandparents refused to allow my uncle to have a waterbed. Their reason? Satan has dominion over the waters.

We called “Better than sex” cake “Better the scriptures” cake And it was. Better than reading Scriptures.

I think we never had coffee cake! Even though it doesn't have coffee in it... 🤷

Some friends called their coffee table a “hot chocolate table”. Avoid even the appearance of evil!

Growing up for me was a roller-coaster of what was and wasn't allowed. To give a sense of how "Mormon" my family is: I was baptized in the Snake River of Idaho. I have 7 siblings and over 40 cousins. My grandparents went on two senior missions. There is a direct lineage between me and Brigham Young. My aunt once sent a letter to each of the "adults" in the family telling them exactly how they were "failing as saints" and how they should fix it.

First, I could watch basically whatever I wanted as long as there was no sex (when I was 4 or 5 my favorite movies were Terminator 2 and Predator). Then I couldn't watch anything rated R (about 8, baptism may have affected this). Then I couldn't watch PG-13 (12-15) and then it went back to anything without sex in it (16-leaving home). The Simpsons were, in this sense, treated as PG-13. When Disney's Hercules came out (I was 11) I couldn't see it because "it repeatedly took the Lords name in vain."

Caffeine came and went so fast I often had to ask if it was allowed. Don't even get me started on what constituted breaking the sabbath, because the answer is basically anything other than going to church.

You could say we had our quirks.

My in laws wouldn’t allow playing cards in their house since they were “evil” Also my true blue parents and maternal grandparents would drink decaf coffee because it was ok. I’d say you know technically it says coffee, not caffeine. No decaf is fine. Okay......

Best friends family growing up would always make coffee cake for conference weekend but called it “conference cake.” I had no idea that wasn’t the actual name for years.

I was also in a country band for a few years and we would change lyrics. Damn to Dan, beer to root beer. Not even kidding

This is probably the reverse of what you’re looking for but when I was ten my parents served beer for family home evening but told us it was apple juice. I took one sip and said “mom my apple juice is rotten” Then they told me it was actually beer and if I ever drank it it wasn’t because it tasted good it was because of peer pressure. It was effective. I never had any desire to drink beer because I knew how disgusting it was. Turns out it was just Budweiser.

Cheers! 🍻

We had a Bishop once who would not allow anyone to use the word Santa as a part of Christmas because, well, obviously, it’s a dangerous word since it’s an anagram of Satan. So at Christmas ward parties the kids were greeted by St. Nicolas. Best part of it is we are British and we mostly call the jolly chap Father Christmas.

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Family road trip when I was a kid, I curiously was looking at a Thomas Bros. map too see what was on the way as were traveling and saw the town or street (I don't remember) "Jackass". I read it our loud and laughed. Next thing I know my mom and stepdad are yelling at me and a fury of hands slapping me in the face.

I didn't understand, I tried to reason with them, Jackass was on the map and also it was in the Bible!! It was an animal too! What did I do wrong!? Whoops! I said that word again, more yelling and hands slapping the shit out of my face. Apparently that was a bad word to read outloud in my family.

Edit: I wasn't expecting quite as much attention on this comment. It was just another moment from my past. We all had childhood dramas, this one was just a little funny one from my past . To this day, I will take a bullet for my stepdad, my greatest compliment ever in life was being compared to him! He is truly one of the best men I have ever known in this world, he is one if the greatest along side my adoped Dad Joe.

On that note, thanks for the updoots and comments. Glad I'm not the only one that thinks 'Jackass" isn't that offensive, lol. They are really fun animals, my aunt owns one, that dude and I used to run around her fields, he'd drop his ears and lower his head and get into race mode as we would careem down the hill!

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We weren’t allowed to say fart, we had to say fuff. And geez wasn’t allowed either... too close to Jesus.

I'm a baker in Utah, and when I worked at my first bakery, we served slices of this amazing cinnamon coffee cake. We noticed that it wasn't selling very well and people would often refuse samples, even after explaining that there wasn't actually any coffee IN the cake. Manager decided to try changing the name before giving up on selling it entirely and we started labeling it "cinnamon crumb cake." We sold out of it almost every day after that. So ridiculous.

like any good car enthusiast, I would show off my latest sports car project on Saturday morning car meet ups called "Cars and Coffee." Even calling it this upset my mom so much, that when I lived at home, she didn't let me go.

My mom walked into the house while my sisters and I were watching Fruits Basket (anime); took one look at the paused screen and started yelling at us for watching something ‘of the devil.’ I was very confused; we were paused on the image of someone’s face! She flipped her lid when my brother started playing Warcraft III and got to the Lich campaign because ‘this is evil’. We were also one of those families that could only watch certain movies on Sunday. (Got lectures after watching a Disney movie at a Mormon friend’s house)

Kind of related, when I was young I couldn't ever get a specific idea across. I knew that swearing was bad, but I wasn't sure if I could say 'I swear' as in 'I promise.' I tried to explain to my mom that I wanted to explain to people that I swear, but she told me I shouldn't tell them I swear because I don't swear. And this went round and round.

My psycho TBM stepmom had a few of these. She still remembered prophets being anti-civil rights, so we got lectured every Martin Luther King day about it. She also prohibited any music that she considered hard- not only did she consider the Matchbox 20 song playing on the radio "psychedelic," she grounded me for playing the EFY CD they gave me at the EFY she sent me to! Oh, also fun were the long lectures she gave us when the Sixth Sense and the Mummy came out about how that's not how spirits really work. I could go on and on...

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When I was growing up, my non-mo family called the towels one used in the kitchen "tea towels." After a divorce, dad married a mormon woman who was horrified by this and made us call them kitchen towels.

No tea cups in a china set.

I'd bet this occurred in several Mormon households, but there were certain rock bands and songs that my mom considered to be Satanic because a seminary teacher of hers in the 70s had said they had Satanic messages encoded in them when played backward. So I wasn't allowed to listen to Stairway to Heaven and some other stuff until she finally gave it up in my late teens.

We weren't allowed to watch the Disney movie 'Hercules' because it was about many Gods.

.....

This post reminds me of how bad I felt for families in our ward who strictly enforced wearing their Sunday best ALL day. I feel like there was at least one family in every ward that was super strict about this and I’d see their five year olds wearing a suit in the middle of the summer looking somewhat miserable. Often they weren’t allowed to ride their bikes, to play with friends, watch TV on Sunday. Some of my family members still don’t allow their teenagers to do studying on Sunday. My parents were pretty reasonable with Sunday’s. We were expected to attend church and activities but at least we could change at home, ride our bikes or catch up on homework.

We had to call it the hot chocolate table.

That's a beautiful coffee table!!

We could watch TV on Sundays but it had to be nature shows only.

I grew up thinking the card game “BS” stood for “Boy Scout” 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is pretty common, but I hated all the placeholder swear words like fetch. And for whatever reason, Mormons seem to think fart is a bad word, and use fluff instead? What kind of nonsense is that? Haha.

Now, it's amusing to imagine a God who smiles upon people saying stuff like "don't fetching fluff around me"

My first Christmas with my ex-inlaws, I brought over some caramel corn and a bottle of Martinellis. They were kind, but later I found out that it was extremely uncomfortable for them because Martinellis is the imitation of evil or something. Yeah, ex-husband didn't give me any sort of warning. Thanks, bro.

My family didnt ever force the WOW or some of the social rules. My dad drank coffee and alcohol and smoked, we watched rated R movies and went out on sunday. Which to the outside world sounds wonderful, but it was hell. Because it was a lot of, do what I say not what I do... or "the church is true and so are these teachings but I dont follow them because im evil and want to sin". It was very confusing growing up, because I was simultaneously taught that everything the church teaches is true, but we fudge it sometimes, but even though we fudge it we are still evil for doing it. Ugh

I got a copy of The Black Company for Christmas and the woman on the cover was exposing her porn shoulders. My mom took a sharpie to the book which kind of upset me even when I was Mormon. Still haven't read the book because it looks fucking ridiculous

I knew a family that called it the Sprite table. I knew families that couldn't use face cards. My mom called those families "Utah Mormons". 😂

Grandma made me repaint her entire house once she found out the color was called "swiss coffee". Sigh... said we must avoid the appearance of all evil. So much fucking work and money wasted for no reason.

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My mom hand an issue with everything. I swear she said the same thing about our coffee table growing up. But the one that stuck with me was her issue with baseball. When you get a pitch outside the strike zone it’s called a ball, if you get four balls you walk the pitcher. I remember my mom asking, “can’t you call it something else” when the count was 2 balls.

My fiancee's family has the game Scattergories. One of the rounds to play is "Things found in a coffee shop." They went through with permanent ink, scratching out "coffee shop" and writing "bakery" real small in the margin.

Oh, and I know they have "Hot Cocoa Mugs," because there's no such thing as "Coffee Cups."

I know they have a ton of these, but that's what I can think of right now.

Also, one Christmas, my siblings and I wrote a letter to Santa, and he wrote us a response. In his response, he assured us that he was a Mormon and that he hates it when people depict him smoking a pipe. It was very validating to us knowing that we were in the true church since Santa was also a member! 🎅

Instead of the game "Marry, Boff, Kill" I've heard momo kids say "Marry, Kiss, Kill"

After a Jelly Belly Factory tour, my BIL overheard us talking about the coffee jelly beans and he nearly shouted, “Get those out of my house!” Even as a TBM, I just told my nieces to give them to me; I like them. That was not well received.

Mine was no jumping on the trampoline on Sunday. Why? Because some stake president had given a talk in like the 70s about how trampolines were evil, and if kids jumped on them it was not keeping the sabbath day holy. So it was a rule in my mom’s house and she just passed it on. And always defended it when we said it made zero sense

In 1969 all the rock radio stations in SLC refused to play “The Ballad Of John and Yoko” by The Beatles because it had the word Christ in the chorus. It was a big deal.

We had a super-promise in our family, because regular promises were for the plebs. If we were being asked to definitely tell the truth it was called "bishop's son's/daughter's promise." The weird pretentiousness is so cringy!

When I was young, my parents wouldn't let us have any form of video games. Then the Wii came out and my mom wanted it for Wii fit so we ended up getting one that came with rock band. Within hours of setting it up and playing it, my parents threw out the game because it had scantily clad women in it. This brought in the rule that we could only own rated E games. E10 games were by approval only. (I needed approval to buy fucking Lego star wars)

A sofa table is taller and more rectangular, and usually goes behind the sofa. This is definitely a coffee table.

Hahaha well, my sister in law wouldn’t let her kids call temporary tattoos - temporary tattoos. They had to call the stickers. But, she is now out of the church and all is good. 😂

Definitely not just you. A local radio station used to have a thing called the "Big Ass Show" and my TBM father in law asked his sons to call it the "big donkey show" because ASS is considered a curse word. From then on it was called the "Big donkey show". What's funny is that there are huge fans in the group fit area at the gym I go to called "Big Ass Fan" with a donkey on it. Every time I look up at it I have to laugh at the ridiculousness of that situation.

I have these sandals that I call my Jesus sandals, everybody that I know that has a pair calls them the same thing, my mother almost had an aneurysm every time she heard me call them that.

After seminary we used to play a card game called "Egyptian rat scew" seminary teacher took our face cards and gave us rook cards. We renamed the game "Irish pub fight" and somehow that was ok, because rook cards.

I was never allowed to say the word "fart" because it was a swear word. We were supposed to say the word "fluff" and I have no fluffing clue why.

When taking a BYU student and their parents on a tour of our model apartment (BYU off campus housing) my leasing manager was pointing out the included furnishings. When she said the coffee table was included in the apartment the dad said, “I think you mean the juice table.” We all got a good eye roll out of that one.

My sis-in-law was one of those moms that wouldn’t allow her kids to read Harry Potter because “witches are real” and you don’t mess with that shit. She also wouldn’t allow her kids to go trick or treating on Halloween for the same reason. I felt so bad for them, they’d get all dressed up in their costumes and go to dinner instead. I could tell they hated missing out. They were also homeschooled, which mainly consisted of working on merit badges for the boys. Poor kids are now some of the most awkward adults you’ll ever meet.

I have an 87 year old great aunt who is still alive, bless her heart. She talked about Satan living in records such as Led Zeppelin and Rolling Stones albums, and how it caused Satan to inhabit a home of someone in their ward. They had the fucking bishop cast spirits out of the records and the home!

Edit: I just remembered, my mom wouldn't let me drink energy drinks for a while because the cans resembled beer cans to her. Avoid even the appearance of evil!

OK, this is also next level crazy (I thought) but my Mom taught me that you’re never to have your garments off, even for sex.

But one day before my mission, I’m standing around in the church parking lot after a game with 6 buddies and the kid who’s Dad was in the Stake Presidency brought up the same thing that his Dad had told him (this is 1979)! 5 of 7 of us California Mormon teens had our parents tell us the exact same thing!

I babysat for a family in my ward and in all the children’s books... fairy GOD mother was scribbled out with permanent marker to show “Fairy —Mother”... I was only 12 and when I asked my mom why they did that she said I wouldn’t be going back there haha.

We had little debbie coffee cakes at a youth bake sale back in the day, they were completely untouched for the entire week we ran it, crazy thing is THOSE COFFEE CAKES DIDN'T EVEN HAVE COFFEE IN THEM

Mine called tank tops "underwear" - what most people call underwear were termed "underpants." Not entirely wrong, but a bit odd.

The coffee table was the "living room table."

Wasn't allowed sleepovers with non-Mormon friends, even the friend literally a house over from ours who they knew well, to limit their influence on me.

Had to wear colored T-shirts over swimsuits, even at home when swimming by myself (pool in the backyard). There weren't any swimshirts yet, as far as I know. I got ordered out of the pool for going without once and was called a "hussy" which made me giggle. That did not end well.

We weren't allowed to drink root beer because it had "beer" in the name, even though they knew it wasn't alcoholic at all.

For a couple of years, we weren't allowed caffeine at all by my stepmom (who had converted maybe a year before marrying my dad). That lasted until she found out chocolate had caffeine in it, and she suddenly was like, well, we can't keep out ALL of the world, lol.

We had some TBM family friends that were never taught the correct words for male and female genitalia. There were told that male genitals were called twinkies and female genitals were called tu-tus. Once we were on a camping trip with these friends and we brought twinkies to share. You can imagine the shock on these kids’ faces as we offered to share our twinkies with them!

Growing up my younger brothers and I weren't allowed to play violent video games on Sunday. When I moved out of state to BYU we started playing Halo 3 on Sunday because that was when we all had free time. "No killing on Sunday" became "No killing on Sunday unless it's with your brothers" 😃

Dang it! I’m looking for a new coffee table, and that one is perfect. I found the tutorial on how to make it on Pinterest. I’m a former Mormon, not a former Shaker 😆

My mom didn’t allow Michael Jackson’s, Billie Jean, to be played in our home.

She was convinced the song was pushing a pro-gay agenda using the name of the famous woman’s tennis player set to a catchy beat.

We called it a cocoa table.

I knew someone who wouldn't let her teens watch Lord of the Rings trilogy because "it teaches false doctrine".

My mother wouldn’t let us say “For pete’s sake!” because she firmly believed we were taking the name of St. peter in vain.

My mom, who is now excommunicated but still has some belief in the church, decided to tell me that motorcycles were sinful and evil for my entire childhood. Imagine my shock when our bishop came to church on a motorcycle.

She also told me, at like 10 or 11, that I would be skinny if I was modest bc god would bless me. I wore a hoodie and jeans 24-7/365 after that for 2-3 years. Summer included.

Not so much quirky as probably damaging to my young mind but there ya go. Silly Mormons lol

Yet they all like "Wasatch" mountains even though Wasatch means "frozen penis".

My grandma called it a "Postum table".

Personally I like “the devils table”.

In my house, the word "fart" was on par with damn or hell. My mom would get so mad at me if I said it. We were supposed to say "toot." It felt SO cheesy to me.

I stayed with my grandparents for a bit and they got on me for starting my laundry on a Sunday, apparently chores on Sundays are not allowed. My dad later told me that totally wasn't a thing with them when he was growing up, so my grandparents actually got zanier over time.

Deviled eggs weren’t allowed in our home. My mom loved making “angel” eggs though.

My family had a "chocolate table" instead of a coffee table.

When I was little, my mom got my sister and I a play tea party set. But she insisted it was called a punch party, because we didn't drink tea. I sounded like a fool when I played with my other kindergarten friends and called a tea cup a punch cup. 🍵

Wow! I thought my batshit-crazy in-laws were the only ones who did this!

Coffee cake was breakfast cake.

I called ours the sex table

My mom (a convert with evangelical roots) went through a phase when I was a teenager where we couldn't have any contact with our friends on Sunday. We'd get in trouble if we were caught texting.

She also interpreted that phrase in D&C about Sabbath food being prepared "with singleness of heart" to mean it was a sin to cook a full meal on Sundays. Post-church lunch was always a buffet of cold leftovers from the fridge.

Then all the usual anti coffee, appearance of evil stuff. We didn't rename junk but we avoided going to Starbucks even for hot chocolate because the cups looked the same. And our bishop's family got butthurt one time they dropped their son off for my brother's birthday party at an arcade and we were serving Coke with the pizza. To this day I know adult Mormons who have never tasted caffeine.

No sex education stories yet?

My nonmo wife grew up in Northern Utah. My MIL, aunts, and wife still love to tell the stories about how “sex ed” was taught without saying ANY of the naughty words. You imagine going through sex education with saying any of the correct body parts? Hilarious.
The one year my MIL was a parent assistant with my wife in her class, and the teacher was plump pregnant and could not say the word penis.

A member in our ward growing painted garments on her daughter's Barbies

We called ours our puzzle table, or our general conference table. It's what the kids say around during general conference and we could do puzzles or those connect 5 topics the GA talked about.

Omg! Coffee cake was "hot chocolate cake"

We weren’t allowed to draw on ourselves with markers or use temporary tattoos.

We were never allowed to have a coffee table. Only recently did my parent's get one and they call it the "t.v. remote holder thingy-do"

A boyfriend's dad screamed at us for watching Little Women because of a scene where Meg shows cleavage (and she learns a valuable lesson about being judged by her appearance.) I left their house right after and we broke up the next day. I'm sure they considered it a near miss, and boy so do I.

I had a TBM friend call it his Hot Chocolate table. He actually has a pretty good sense of humor.

We called it a "juice table"

Completely off topic, but..... That coffee table is quality!

We always called the coffee table a “lemon table”, at both my mom’s house and my grandparents’ (her parents) house.

"live, love, laugh"

Card game bs, we had to call it bc

My TBM aunt/uncle wouldn't let their kids (my cousins) eat my brother's birthday cake one year, because it had PowerRangers on it and PowerRangers promite violence.

I have many stories about them, but that one always sticks out in my mind.

Also, those poor sheltered cousins of mine... one was pregnant at 15 and the other is, to my knowledge, still on meth.

We weren’t allowed to say “licorice” since it sounded too much like “liquor.” We had to call it by the brand name lol

Drinks in glass bottles. They looked like alcohol and you have to avoid the appearance of evil at all costs. My mom slapped a bottle of Jones soda put of my hand once and shattered it in the floor. This wasn't a rule until that very moment. I went couch diving to get enough money to buy it, of course I also had to clean up the mess.

The most Mo’ thing I ever heard wasn’t from my family, but from my young women’s leader growing up.

She made her kids change the lyrics to songs. There’s some country song that goes “Whiskey for my men, beer for my horses.” She proudly told us one Sunday that HER family sings “Root beer for my men, sprite for my horses.”

I literally burst out laughing in class when she said that. Like you are SO afraid of alcohol that you can’t even say its name?? You’re pathologizing it because it’s so forbidden, crazy lady.

Oh, Hell yes. As an 'all in' TBM, for decades we called it a... 'Postum table'. LOL!

Just FYI I learned at a furniture store... There is such a thing as a sofa table. So anyone that did that is double wrong.

My ex-husband insisted on The Proclamation hanging, a picture of a temple, and a picture of Christ be hung in every room of our home.

Excuse my ignorance, Mormons don't drink coffee? What other things aren't allowed?

Pfffft, what luxury. We couldn’t afford a coffee table, never mind name it.

But there's already another piece of furniture called a sofa table.

It's tall and narrow and made to go behind a sofa (when the sofa isn't against a wall).

I grew up saying "...for kicks and giggles", instead of the original, "....for shits and giggles"

I love those stairs!

Okay, but do they know there there is a real furniture called Sofa table?? that's confusing. Sofa tables look very different from coffee tables.

My parents wouldn’t let anyone say “Hellboy” instead we had to say “H-boy”

My mom calls better than sex cake "better than kissing cake."

Couldn't drink Martinelli's sparking cider on New Years Eve because it resembled champagne. Avoid the appearance...

It was a cocoa table in my house. And cocoa cake, not coffee cake.

Sigh.

In our house it was “living room table”

After watching any movie, we had to make some connection to God. The main one I remember was Star Wars. Something about Satan tempting Anakin and Luke following the ways of God.

I was one of the leads in my high school musical (Musical: Oklahoma!) and one of my lines was ‘But I’ll be damned if I ain’t just as good!’ You better believe I wasn’t about to go about cussing! So, every night, I would sing ‘But I’ll be danged if I ain’t just as good!’

All these years later and I still cringe thinking about it ...

Growing up my family never owned a coffee table, because it was for coffee, which we didn't drink.

My grandparents said my skin would turn black if I didn’t go to church.

My grandpa was told that he had to call it his “root beer belly”.

I wish he was still with us when I became an adult. He would have been a even more fun as an exmo.

Ok but can we talk about the giant ampersand on your wall?

We had to call the bar at our house a “raised kitchen counter” and the bar stools were “raised kitchen counter stools”

My husband's grandpa got mad at me for saying the phrase, "Nailed it!" Apparently, he thinks it relates to the nails used to crucify Christ. I've never heard that from anyone else.

As an active member of the mormon church. This is so ridiculous! I love what I believe in, but we are unfortunately not short of crazy people

A sofa is an actual piece of furniture, and it’s different from a coffee table. If you ever had guests that knew their head from their ass they would have been confused trying find the sofa table. (Its a taller, long-skinny table that goes behind the sofa)

My parents liked their coffee so I didn't have to worry about shit like that.

Yikes

We called ours Postum table. And Hot Cocoa table.

"Gentile music" wasn't really allowed in my house when I was growing up. I mostly listened to the radio quietly on my alarm clock radio. Other than that it was mostly stuff like Michael McLean and Amy Grant. Some older stuff that my parents liked (like 10CC or Bread) was also acceptable.

My grandparents were the same way

Why are the corners of the coffee table weaponized

Ceramic tiles with vinyl quotes of Jesus and family member names.

We called coffee tables “hot chocolate tables” haha

And .. a sofa table is the long style that sits behind a sofa.. it’s important to call things by their official name .

I simply call it a "center table", since it's in the center of the comfort zone, you know?

& what?

Same that was my father in-law

This bothers me most because a sofa table is something entirely different!!!! A sofa table is a skinny taller table that fits behind the sofa.

We used to play Murder in the Dark. My older sister made us call the game "Winkim."

My family always called it a hot chocolate table 😂

We call ours a cocktail table. I like it though, where did you get it?

And what?

A guy in my ward would not allow caffeine-free coke to be brought into his home because of the “apparence” of evil. He was a scoutmaster. Bishop’s son shows up for a scout activity at his house, with you guessed it. Made him leave it outside. LOL.

No shit we called it a “lemonade table”

My TBM ex-in-laws took it one step further. Coffee table, sofa table, hot chocolate table...no matter the name... if it looked like a coffee table, it had no place in their living room. The whole clan was like that, God love 'em. Nothing but couches, chairs and end tables. lol

No...that is just plain stupid. Sorry, but extremist members that had these policies they forced upon their children is just ridiculous. It's a freaking piece of furniture!

We couldn't say the word "crap." I got my mouth washed out with soap for that one. The joke's on my parents cuz I swear like a sailor now.

We also couldn't watch the Simpsons.

AND!!!!!

Call it what it is, a “Cocktail Table”.

No, no, no.... It's a hot chocolate table.

WTF!

Thanks for this post, I've learned some things!

(nevermo w/converted family member)

On my mission I was at the chapel. Our WM leader asked why we were there. I said, “our plans got screwed up”. A RS sister nearby heard me and was all, “you shouldn’t say screwed Elder!”

I tried to explain to her that the word has nothing to do with what she thinks it does. Screwed up as in twisted or mixed up. Nope. She wasn’t buying it.

Face cards are of the devil.

We weren't allowed to say "fart" as it was too vulgar. We said "fluff" instead. Also, the only NES game we were allowed to play on Sundays was this strange 'Bible Adventures' game that came on a blue cartridge. You'd play as Noah, throwing animals onto the ark, or you'd be Moses' mum, running around with baby Moses to protect him from the pharaoh. Playing cards were banned in childhood, and heaven help you if you pretended to smoke candy cigarettes.

I just want to add that there are tables called sofa tables, and they are not coffee tables. To shop for furniture for them would be quite confusing

My mom made us call it the "hot chocolate table." I hated all of our weird mormon-isms.

I recall the Idaho Falls theater club/group/whatever wanted to do Les Miserables one year but were fighting with the publisher because they wanted to edit out something they thought was 'inappropriate'. The publisher wouldn't let them so they 'took a stand' and decided not to do it altogether because they were so brave and wholesome and it was on the news and everything and idk it's just embarrassing.

In Brazil breakfast is called "Café da Manhã" which literally means morning coffee. Well, my mom used to refuse to use the term, instead calling the meal "Desjejum", since we did not drink coffee.

Whoever put up that giant wooden "&" needs to really reevaluate their decor choices