๐๏ธ Thethirdtoken ยท 640 points ยท Posted at 19:02:24 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Caught me off guard, as they were semi-behind me. I turned, and asked them,
(Me)Will my children remain children forever, or grow and have children of their own?.
(Elders)Well they will grow up and have children of their own.
(Me)If this is the case, then I would love to live with them forever as children, but as adults, I would like them to live their own lives, and maybe visit me from time to time to tell me about their travels.(I ended this sentence with a smile)
(Elders)Our savior, Jesus Christ, has made it possible for us to be together as families, forever.
(Me)Elders, I will make you a deal, right now, I am going to say a prayer, right here, at Wal-mart, outloud, and I will ask My? and your Savior, to confirm what you have told me; if he says yes, in any way, shape or form, I'm in, if nothing happens, we walk our separate ways, ok?
At this point I didn't give them a chance to answer, I bowed my head and these are the words I said, "Our beloved Heavenly father, if we might have a moment of your time, we are in need of a simple answer to a simple question, that has eternal consequences for your children here on Earth. I am a simple man, who loves his wife and children, seeking truth for my small family, and only wish to know if you exist and if the boys here speak truth. If you do exist, I pray you to make yourself known, if it be by even the smallest hint of your existence; a still small voice, a warm feeling, a buzzing, a warmth, or peace, I will accept any of these manifestations of your existence. I do not seek them for a sign out of lust, but as a loving father, as you might be as well. I pray these things, in Jesus name, amen." I then sat there, with my eyes closed, arms folded, for a full 15 seconds, and then opened them. I looked at the Elders and asked them how they feel? They responded that they feel peace. I responded that, 'I feel nothing(which I did, I felt exactly the same as before, maybe a little hungry), and therefor, I have fulfilled my end of the deal and I wish you two a good day and that that peace continues in your lives.' They appeared semi-confused as they did not know what actually to say other than, "Ok, well here is a card if you change your mind." And they handed me a business like card. I responded, "I will always be open to truth, I hope you are as well."
I am completely open to the existence of god, I am ready, when he/she/it is ready. In case I am prone to some unknown mental illness, I would followup any such manifestations, with earnest prayer and study, and a doctor's visit, but for me personally, my experience, he/she/it is not there, or does not care for my knowledge of he/she/it existence.
That's just me, have a wonderful day everyone!
Edit: "Have" and "Your".
FaithfulTBM ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 19:13:46 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is fantastic. You just provided those elders with a good story to write home about. Of course the facts will be changed and you won't have been sincere in your prayer, but a story nonetheless.
TapirTamer ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 19:18:34 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"We approached a man with coffee and beer in his grocery cart... ... I know why he couldn't feel the spirit." They'll have to make up something to rationalize it
xwre ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 20:18:34 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He probably masturbated earlier that day and so God wasn't willing to speak to him.
[deleted] ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 20:57:23 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But enough about those Elders.
I_am_recaptcha ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:28:42 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
.....Isnโt it about... time?
Jeichert183 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:46:32 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was in Wal-Mart, I kind of assume he was masturbating....
BaedoApostate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:16 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, most elders masturbate in secret anyways
SUPinitup ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious . . . because it's true. It'll end with "hopefully he will soften his heart. . ."
kurinbo ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:09:39 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Maybe we planted a seed..."
DystopianFutureGuy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:40:42 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"We committed him to pray, and he did so right then and there in the middle of Walmart! I felt so much peace during his prayer. At the end, he committed to learning the truth from us."
kimballthenom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:26 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โThe spirit was so strong, but he stubbornly denied feeling it.โ That was my answer when something similar happened on my mission. It wasnโt until I discovered the church was a fraud several years later that I was able to accept that other people genuinely didnโt feel the spirit or receive answers to prayers. I had always taken that as absolute before.
underzionsradar ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:18:42 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Insert culty ceremonial rite of dusting off of the feet here...
GodsOwnTapir ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 21:04:51 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well done!
I had a similar experience several times in my mission. People earnestly praying about the BOM, and ultimately deciding it wasn't true. This was a major shelf item for me.
If God couldn't hold up his side of the bargain and answer one little prayer...
Ten years later this experience was pivotal in my decision to leave the church.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:17:27 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:48 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You both need to brush up on your D&C.
D&C 46:13-14 13: To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world.
14: To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful.
focidave ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:11 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. If the individual saying the prayer is in anyway lacking faith, then God will withhold his answer even though it would certainly help them because God is an asshole.
GodsOwnTapir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:33 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sure.
But I left because he is an asshole. If he was a nice imaginary friend, I could probably hang around.
setibeings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:54 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you wanted to know if I was there, but you didn't start with the assumption I was there? Let's try this whole thing over again. Next time I'll answer, promise. Just start with your conclusions in place. Go.
lapradoso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:45 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is slightly off topic but I've always argued with my wife that if a god does exist, do you really think he has time/the ability to answer everyone's prayers no matter what? Like if you are praying for your keys, do you really think a god is going to micromanage that situation? Or even further, if the Mormons are right and God purposefully put a veil over us so we didn't know the truth anymore so we could learn and come back to him with our own free will, isn't constantly helping us by answering questions taking away that free will and choice?
It's like if you're taking a test and if you close your eyes and whisper "teacher, give me the answer please..." and the teacher walks over and gives you the answer, did you really learn anything? Did you really pass the test? It makes no sense to me that God would micromanage even the hardest decisions of your life. To any god people talk about, your decision is trivial to God. Also, and this is getting into rambling but if we're all supposed to one day become gods, how does it work? It's not like you cross the veil from everything we know so far and all of a sudden you can hear everyone's thoughts and immediately answer all of them. So how can God answer everyone's prayers instantly and whenever he wants if we're technically gods ourselves?
Anyways, the LDS stuff is all nonsense but I think it's equally nonsense to expect any god to instantly answer your questions whenever you want if the point we're here is for you to learn for yourself so I think it's a dumb shelf item to have. So much easier to stick to the facts instead of an unprovable, unexplainable thing like prayers being instantly answers.
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 20:36:55 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Sam Walton, see the contents of my cart .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Repeat it three times
the_scarlet_litter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:17:51 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now, my being a woman, do I need to put a bag over my head as a makeshift veil for my prayer to count since gob-Kolob wants women's faces covered?
....and will I have to worry about store security or the local cops escorting me from the premises for praying to the great Wally-Father?
AnticipatingLunch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:47 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes to the first, and depends if you have your Wally-Recommend for the second.
LilBner ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:37:36 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's your problem! You didn't use the special 'thee/thou' designation. No wonder God didn't answer!
murmalerm ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:42:36 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is that thee and thou were considered informal and you was considered formal.
AllByMyZelph ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:08:38 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
God only likes archaic language.
SisterJohn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:59 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And tedious repetition.
rightcalf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:41:50 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not to mention the use of โifโ. The prayer only works if you have enough faith to assume he already does exist.
1215angam ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 19:58:38 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the elders and many members don't get is that it is commonly believed that upon death you will be reunited with loved ones. The message of the LDS Church is then bad news that you will be severed from family unless you live by a bunch of arbitrary rules that the LDS Church sets.
John_T_Conover ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 21:48:06 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No religion ever threatened to separate me from my family until I was introduced to the LDS church.
GodsOwnTapir ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:08 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a classic Christian play. First convince the convert they have a problem (sin). Then sell the the solution (Jesus).
But Moronism takes it to the next level.
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:23:08 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend leave on his mission after my wife and I were married (not in the temple). That jackass actually said "do you not love your wife?" I said: "excuse me?" Him: "well if you loved her you would have married her in the temple".
He shortly after left on his mission. We don't talk anymore. He's since married and divorced, and we're still extremely happily married.
Gold__star ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:41:43 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Living well is always the best revenge.
higherthenkolob ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 21:36:05 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interested in living with your family forever?...Me: I filed a restraining order against my sister this year...hell no.
secretnotsacred ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:08:02 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No faith. Seeking a sign. You are therefore disqualified from receiving an answer.
Sorry, but God is kind of an ass to his kids.
The_Braavosi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:53:07 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except it totally works for king macaroni in the BoM
AnticipatingLunch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:24 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And Joseph Smith.
LBFilmFan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:56:13 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey dodo, that growling in your stomach? That's the spirit for heaven's sake. How could I make it more obvious! - Mormon God.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:17:36 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
guitarguy109 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:59:27 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I will...There is no God.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:47 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
guitarguy109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:38 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you don't have to agree, I just wanted to say it.
I just thought it was funny but in the end you should do you my friend.
Jeichert183 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:01:49 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Have a look at Deism. Simply stated, God created the universe and then stopped paying attention. The Matrix Hypothesis is essentially a modern evolution of the philosophy of Deism.
shipl14 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:23:51 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Book of Mormon says you're supposed to ask if it's not true. So if you get a burning, it's not true, i guess.
DoubtingThomas50 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:38 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mormonism 101. Take what Christianity already gives you, repackage it to look better, then, in the end, take it from you if you don't follow all the rules of Mormonism.
bikingchic15 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:52:01 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Next time give them your signs and tokens! That will end the conversation.
Nevermo_Jralphie ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:37:59 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but I have to do it.
r/thathappened
Cool story though
Is_it_really_art ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:33:11 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He left out the part about everyone in Wal-Mart clapping.
MasterMahanJr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:03:13 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The comment I was looking for.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:33 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The irony here is stifling! The TSCC says you didn't get an answer because you did not do things "on the Lord's time" and your heart was closed. But here you are, open to God making himself known to you for years, and receiving nothing. Only empty promises from corporate religions to keep their coffers full and keep you in line.
Also, I may or may not steal this paragraph to send to friends, since it's so well written ;p
๐๏ธ Thethirdtoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:03 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feel free, contrary to what some have said, this was a real transaction, and it was spur of the moment. I am very outgoing and my nerves don't rattle easily, so it may sound romanticized, but this is how it happened.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:01 on March 15, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Truly amazing. I wish I could be equally as eloquent in real life!
๐๏ธ Thethirdtoken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:08:48 on March 15, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now that the thread has died down, I actually have hypomania, which basically means, my brain produces way too much dopamine and I feel like I'm high on cocaine 24/7. It helps with every day life.
BananaWilly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:35 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why waste your breath? Better to just say 'go away.'
guitarguy109 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't had any Mormons knock on my door but I've gotten tons of mileage out of this with Jehovah's Witnesses.
kevinrex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:26 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing. What a tender mercy! Gob is real! I can feel shit . . . I mean it.
6inchVert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:15 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something I would come up with days later and regret not doing it while I had the chance.
tattertotts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:46 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, donโt you know? Faith starts with a desire to believe. Cast not your seed upon the rocks... or some such tripe.
๐๏ธ Thethirdtoken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:05 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's funny is the ship that grows in my rocks, in the front yard, is impossible to kill or pull out of the ground. I always mess up my hands when I try to get them at the roots.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:04 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Sam walton, see the contents of my cart
.
.
.
.
.
Repeat it three times
dntwrryhlpisontheway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:48 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Went to sacrament meeting in Vegas a few months ago. Guy with ZZ top beard gave a talk and quoted the full first verse of Prince s Let's go Crazy as part of his talk.
Fun group you have down there.
baroque-o-slama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:46 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit
Eyehopeuchoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:01 on March 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well done, good Sir.
kitxcatxmeow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:40 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a pair come to my door the other night and their "closing statement" to my husband was, and I quote, "well I guess if you're not in the mood for some repentance then that's okay!" To that my husband replied, "Yep, okay indeed! Have a good night elders."
whitecoffeeismyjam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:33 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is so awesome. Thanks for sharing!
Sunbeam_Phd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:47 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Love this!
BryantheAngry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:27:00 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey! Las Vegas! My old mission! 83-84.
Mockingham ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:30:26 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would've been awesome if something dramatic serendipitously happened right after you said amen. Whoops!
HeberSeeGull ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:30:30 on March 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This would make the best YouTube video. Maybe the grocery store security camera caught it and you could get a copy. LOL