Nothing makes me more disgusted than these mormon names. Itโs like they think โwell my child is mormon. What more can I do to get my son Brayyedynn bullied?โ
You get Gideons among the posh, rich (non-Mormon) folk here in the UK - the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborn MP, is really a Gideon (he decided to rename himself George when he was 13, apparently).
exmos_gf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raised mainstream christian here. I knew a couple Gideons growing up, especially in families that leaned towards the quiverfull philosophy, homeschooling, and the world ending soon.
nvincent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:28 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBF if you leave out her middle name Moon Zappa is a really good name if a bit atypical, as goes for Ahmet and Diva. Dweezil chose that name after he found out Frank and Gail were forbidden from making that his legal name; when he was born Frank named him Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa, but everyone just called him Dweezil. He liked the idea of being the only person on earth with his name.
I agree - Moon Zappa is unique; I like that version of it. It's best written without the middle initial, too. Otherwise, it's Moon U Zappa. Comma after the initial is optional.
Yes! I know a mormon dad who named his son Pryce. They lived in Price Utah. If they'd had a girl, she would have been named Pryceless. How horrid is that?
Guilty. My wife grew up with a "made-up, misspelled" name, and if it hadn't been her insistence on a normal names for our kids, our daughter would have been Cobee Grayce.
Gob strike me down for the very thought. I thought it was so cute.
This is hilarious! It's also cleverly written. I have seen some brain-stopping names before, but this compilation has things I'd never even imagine.
I've known people named Vaquetta, Dee Ray, Haroldette, and a few others, some of which are terribly difficult to spell if you have to contact them.
I knew a guy who had an ancestor named Jerry Mar, because the poor parents could not spell Jeremiah, so they spelled it the way it sounded when they pronounced it.
Thanks for the links - these are worth saving!
FunCanoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:51 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I went to breakfast yesterday and they asked for a name. I said Kate and she responded, "With a C or a K?" It was the strangest question til I remembered it's 2017 in Utah.
I've seen both but not from weird names. Kate is short for Katherine and Cait short for Caitlyn. Two different names that aren't super weird that have the same sounding shortened versions. This is one of few names where it isn't as weird to ask how its spelled.
There's a teenage girl in my ward named Liahona, and that's what she goes by. At least once she finds out the truth she can tell people to call her Lee or Leah.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:18 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes new spellings can be cool (keyword sometimes) But I'm a bigger proponent of bringing old names back, than reusing the same names again and again and again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:43 on October 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Older lady on my mission named Utahna
b_nksey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:04 on October 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for "Prohvoe".
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:17 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reposting this. And no one will know it came from an exmo forum. Tee-hee!
Saved comment
1throwawayqwerty ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 20:57:14 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing makes me more disgusted than these mormon names. Itโs like they think โwell my child is mormon. What more can I do to get my son Brayyedynn bullied?โ
BYU_atheist ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 21:53:12 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least his name isn't Teancum or Alma.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:10:02 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a Moroni in my ward. Or, as his "friends" called him, Moron.
Word2daWise ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:34:12 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Abenidi (not even sure I spelled it right). I know a guy stuck with that name.
I_choose_not_to_ ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:50:39 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's ok, TBMs don't know how to spell names either
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:34:36 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aybynydyy, gotta make sure the name has enough Ys for my child to feel special.
wittypiano ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:21:57 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks Welsh!
OhMyStarsnGarters ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:05:32 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lachoneus anyone?
Word2daWise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:09:56 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uh-oh. I'd better go back for a closer reading.
1throwawayqwerty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:11:44 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brigham
hausenpepper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:34:46 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the last ward I went to, there was a Mormon. Poor kid.
mister__ef ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:37:38 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An elder on my mission was fit real named Teancum. I've always felt bad for him, his name has cum in it.
SuddenStorm1234 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:07:58 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Gideon
BYU_atheist ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gideon is actually a biblical character. See Judges viii.
SuddenStorm1234 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but the only people I've known with the name was mormon
Caribou58 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:23:37 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get Gideons among the posh, rich (non-Mormon) folk here in the UK - the former Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborn MP, is really a Gideon (he decided to rename himself George when he was 13, apparently).
exmos_gf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raised mainstream christian here. I knew a couple Gideons growing up, especially in families that leaned towards the quiverfull philosophy, homeschooling, and the world ending soon.
nvincent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:28 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy named kolob.
Yup.
OuterLightness ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 19:47:39 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D'raper.
WeaverFan420 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:51:12 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harvey Weinstein?
GeorgeQCannabis ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:08 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D'snutts
Johnny_Oklahoma ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:16:32 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We should start spelling it taepyr
FreakinSweet86 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My name is Dave"
"Is that with a Z or a two J's?"
Gold__star ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 20:16:59 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do the Dads have no culpability here?
kiwirish ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:18:18 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering Bronco Mendenhall's kids are called Raeder, Braeker and Cutter, I'm placing at least some blame on Utah dads.
Word2daWise ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:35:09 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank Zappa could start that club - Moon Unit would approve.
FullClockworkOddessy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:46:14 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TBF if you leave out her middle name Moon Zappa is a really good name if a bit atypical, as goes for Ahmet and Diva. Dweezil chose that name after he found out Frank and Gail were forbidden from making that his legal name; when he was born Frank named him Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa, but everyone just called him Dweezil. He liked the idea of being the only person on earth with his name.
Word2daWise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:15 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree - Moon Zappa is unique; I like that version of it. It's best written without the middle initial, too. Otherwise, it's Moon U Zappa. Comma after the initial is optional.
seventhvision ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:43:10 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! I know a mormon dad who named his son Pryce. They lived in Price Utah. If they'd had a girl, she would have been named Pryceless. How horrid is that?
DisputeNot ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:22:35 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty. My wife grew up with a "made-up, misspelled" name, and if it hadn't been her insistence on a normal names for our kids, our daughter would have been Cobee Grayce.
Gob strike me down for the very thought. I thought it was so cute.
1throwawayqwerty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:57:58 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No which is why there are boys named Brynnly and shit
mermicornogirl ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:04:46 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I just made the connection to why somebody I know named their kid Draper (Her other kid is Jordan)
1throwawayqwerty ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:57:38 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Mormon version of โname your child where they were conceivedโ
ultimas ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:01:04 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooohhh, that explains the kid in my ward named "Arby's Parking Lot"...
Greenboy28 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was to name your kid after your favorite temple location.
seventhvision ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:42:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've known three women named Utahna. I'm thinking that's where the crazy naming thing began.
1throwawayqwerty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:22:59 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it pronounced you-taw-na or ewe-taw-na?
seventhvision ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:56 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ones I knew were Utah-na.
FantasticMrSloth ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 21:41:31 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tawilla
PatrickBuchanan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:40:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah ... Tooele would still be spelled like it is since no one can pronounce it anyway
๐๏ธ jackdhadi ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:37:29 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot to mark as a repost.
Korzag ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:23:32 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay. 95% of the reposts we get here don't even bother. You're gonna get into Mormon heaven for at least trying!
FunCanoe ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:37:39 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to read that utah baby namer blog... there was a kid named CliTORis. So wrong.
AssistPowers ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:56:45 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When they played hide-and-seek, Clitoris knew she could just stand in the curtains and Daddy would never find her
valliewayne ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:02:26 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No!! ๐ฎ
FunCanoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I shit you not.
Word2daWise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:13 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No way!!! I've heard of a few Placentas (not Mormon). What blog is that?
FunCanoe ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://wesclark.com/ubn/ I don't see it listed but I SWEAR I've seen it on one of these
FOUND IT!!!!! http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/religion/829124/posts
maryjaneodoul ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:37:38 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
omg i am snorting chardonnay out my nose reading those
my favorite: Tugdick
seventhvision ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:43:49 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shardenae. Such a pretty name.
maryjaneodoul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:27 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i need to change my reddit name to MaryJaneShardenae. been meaning to do that ever since i fell off the wagon
LabansWidow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:30:15 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OMG ๐ฏ
Don't you have any rules in US about what names are legally allowed? Like nothing obscene?
I see a lot of traumatised people changing their names in years to come. And despising their parents.
Word2daWise ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:02:03 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious! It's also cleverly written. I have seen some brain-stopping names before, but this compilation has things I'd never even imagine.
I've known people named Vaquetta, Dee Ray, Haroldette, and a few others, some of which are terribly difficult to spell if you have to contact them.
I knew a guy who had an ancestor named Jerry Mar, because the poor parents could not spell Jeremiah, so they spelled it the way it sounded when they pronounced it.
Thanks for the links - these are worth saving!
FunCanoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:51 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always happy to share a gem. ๐ค
flagstone78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:19 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennyfivetina
Was Jenny one, two, three, and four tina already taken on the server? I wonder how many people are named after player/account names...
How do you say E'all without sounding like "y'all"?
Patriot_Repatriating ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:34 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see my aunt's name in there. I actually like it because of who she's named after. Though I admit it's more than a bit weird sounding.
patrickpickles22z ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:38:18 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I read it, I hear it on the General Conference/Primary voice.
sessafresh ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:24:03 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I went to breakfast yesterday and they asked for a name. I said Kate and she responded, "With a C or a K?" It was the strangest question til I remembered it's 2017 in Utah.
incredibleducky ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:00:30 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen both but not from weird names. Kate is short for Katherine and Cait short for Caitlyn. Two different names that aren't super weird that have the same sounding shortened versions. This is one of few names where it isn't as weird to ask how its spelled.
MyTruckIsAPirate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:29 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend named Catie (short for Catherine.)
seventhvision ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:10 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always use the name Snow at restaurants. Everyone can spell it and remember it. My name isn't even close to Snow.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:06:15 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:10:28 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You wish.
Jean2800 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:57:00 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they are having kids ๐คทโโ๏ธ
FukUtahInc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:48:53 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I were naming it: Salt Lake Shitty
Korzag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:57 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn Mongorians always breaking down my Shitty Wall!
Zadok_The_Priest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I'm not so sure about home school.
Dr_PhilastusHurlbut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If ex-mormons could do it:
Salt lake utah = SL,UT
Agent_Orange7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:34 on October 14, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
underzionsradar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:24:35 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lay (insert massive glottal-stop here) un.
girl-with-cake-esq ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:14:53 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Utah baby names
mote0fdust ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:34:23 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone explain to me why this is a thing for Mormon mothers?
hausenpepper ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:40:27 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have much experience or education because they got married at age 18 and a half.
maryjaneodoul ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:39:03 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cuz they all have so many kids and they think they have to give them all unique names
Korzag ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:25:17 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Younique*. At least spell it right. Gosh.
CherryStraw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:01 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All those names need at least a couple more Hs and Ys hahaha
Tr0llFap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:10 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel bad for those kids of these parents giving them weird names, especially out of Morridor.
A kid who's name is "Teancum" won't last one minute in a high school outside of Utah.
Still-ILO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:45 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a teenage girl in my ward named Liahona, and that's what she goes by. At least once she finds out the truth she can tell people to call her Lee or Leah.
elder-batman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:06 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I didn't get a mormon name
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:18 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes new spellings can be cool (keyword sometimes) But I'm a bigger proponent of bringing old names back, than reusing the same names again and again and again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:43 on October 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Older lady on my mission named Utahna
b_nksey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:04 on October 16, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote for "Prohvoe".
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:17 on October 15, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reposting this. And no one will know it came from an exmo forum. Tee-hee!