๐๏ธ stillinbutout ยท 284 points ยท Posted at 15:54:24 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My exmo sister visited from out of state yesterday. We were lamenting having to talk about TSCC with our TBM father and his overbearing TBM wife (not our mom). Sis was asking for my advice on how to shut down the usual "come back to church" talk without open confrontation.
My reply: "Whenever you refer to the prophet of the restoration, simply call him JOE Smith. It's like the F-word to them."
Saved comment
THE__V ยท 157 points ยท Posted at 15:59:20 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calling him Horny Joe has the same effect.
LilBner ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:27:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slick Willy Joe
DystopianFutureGuy ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 16:49:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe the Hoe
FullClockworkOddessy ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 16:50:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe the Pedo.
GordoHeartsSnake ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 17:21:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't quite have the same meaning in America. We say pe-duh-file. So most Americans might not get what pedo means
FullClockworkOddessy ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:33:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an American I've heard people use pedo pronounced peh-doh. Maybe it's just a regional thing.
warioman91 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:51:22 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't pronounce it Peee -doh, but I enjoy hearing it pronounced as such lol. But I think I'm remembering movies where it's pronounced as such and it's kind of funny.
Corporatecut ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:49:02 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter File?
Rebecca_deWinter_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:42 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's a pedophile?
Corporatecut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:19 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds nothing like pedophile.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:26 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe's slick willy
Esotero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:28 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MoJo
TinFoilBeanieTech ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:35:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warren Jeffs. Oh wait, I always get those guys confused.
emmastoneinahat ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 17:42:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call him rapey joe
s-l-k ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 16:27:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, I would bet my TBM mom doesn't even know the meaning of the word "horny."
late_warmonger ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 20:04:57 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ol' Peepstone Joe
HallowedHand ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:29:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle Joey
PayLayFail ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:54:05 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Musketball Sponge Joe
curious_mormon ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 16:48:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can take this to a whole new level.
Don't say "President Oaks" or even "Oaks" just say Dallin. Try using it in a sentence, "Did you see what Dallin said in General Conference? He needs to learn his history."
Don't say "Gordon B Hinckley" Just Gordon Hinckley.
And so on. Drop the middle initial. Drop the honorific titles. You'll see their spider sense go up mixed with some general confusion, maybe a little discomfort, and it'll probably take them a few moments to realize why. It's not even inherently offensive, but it'll be taken as offense. Bonus points when they try to correct you.
exmolawdude ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 17:42:25 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife posted this strong response to Oaks talk on FB and referred to him as โMr. Oaksโ. You would have thought she committed a hate crime by some of the responses of TBM family members.
Im-free ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 17:53:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's good to remind the TBM's that these are just men! It was liberating when I started calling my exbishop, Ken. We are still friends, but we both acknowledged the change, and it was interesting.
DoctFaustus ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:38:06 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering how often my mom tells me they were just speaking as men it's surprising that she still doesn't view the current administration as just men.
pokemaster26 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:18:53 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They only speak as men after they are dead and their words become dated.
loinsofephraim ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:14:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First anointing annoints them TO BECOME gods in the future. The second annointing ordains them TO BE ACTUAL GODS. So.... checkmate!
Im-free ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:30 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha!
frumpyfrontbum ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:49:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what I do. Grates against the ears but you can't be accused of disrespecting.
Word2daWise ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:50:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Good for her! I'd love to see some of those responses.
alansnotreal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:03:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's not professor oaks. God help us if we defile that name
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 16:57:42 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to speak in the third person using my first initial and middle name in all conversation with family around conference time. They know I'm joking and it gets a laugh, but it's an uncomfortable laugh.
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 18:13:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_choose_not_to_ ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:49:03 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elder I. Fuck Everyone
kiwirish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:07:08 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I put my middle initial in my signature block at work but I don't tell people to use it. I just think it adds to it.
Doot_your_Doots ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:03:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shoot, you could even shorten them further. Hinckley can become "Gordy", Bednar is "Davy", Holland becomes "Jeff" and so on.
curious_mormon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:16:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. Upvote, but the beauty of using actual names is that they can't turn around and tell you to stop deriding their leaders. If you say Gordy then they could say you're just making fun of them. If you say Gordon, then they're uncomfortable because you're not honoring them when using their actual name.
GenericUsername_1234 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:08:21 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffy
suresignofthenail ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:18:16 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joffrey
GenericUsername_1234 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:41:02 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jowlffry
TheHolySpearmint ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 17:49:56 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DJ Jeffy Jowls and the Taffy Pulling Dodo
HenryBNosering ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:29:07 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
exchurchemployee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a comp on my mission that called Hinckley "Gordo Bidner" to make him sound hip. lol
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:05:31 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS. Do not recognize their authority. I'll call the president of the time by the title of president as long as I live in this country. But I'll never give a religious officer who holds no power over me special treatment.
Word2daWise ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:49:49 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always refer them as "Monson," "Oaks," etc. and a TBM friend of mine once mentioned she didn't think it was respectful when people do that (I suspect she was referring to when I did it and brought it up separately, afterward). I did that even before my shelf crashed and I exited the cult. I'll probably still just use the person's last name, because that's less offensive than saying "Asshole."
Utahhiker801 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:50:18 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you just say "Asshole"? That makes no sense. Properly, it should be "Asshole Bednar" or "Asshole Oaks". Otherwise, you're just confusing people. :-)
I_choose_not_to_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:48:15 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This. I call Holland by his first name Jeff or Nelson by his first name Russ. Holy shit do TBMs flip out at that.
xLDS4life ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:22:28 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, even the current cult leader can shamelessly be called Tom or Tommy Monson!
dwindlers ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:10:44 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to refer to him as Tommy Monson, because he has referred to himself that way tons of times when he tells stories about his life. So it's hard for a TBM to complain about it, but it still bothers them.
Angrynevermo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:05 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh they lose their shit. I love watching it. It even works on RMs if they're recent/you're talking to someone who only knew them on the mission. "Oh Sarah likes this" "Sister Smith does yes"
Androgymoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:02 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How strange. Guess Iโll never understand why one would take offense to a simple omission of a letter
AgtSquirtle007 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 16:31:12 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A guy on my mission kept calling him "Johnny Smith" and I tried to correct him, saying, "It's Joseph," so he said, "Okay, whatever, Bobby Smith."
exmolawdude ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:43:04 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They also love it if you say โOld Joe Smith and his gold bible.โ
Tindale ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 16:25:01 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dad / Mabel, I am not talking about religion with you."
Rinse and repeat.
LanceCoolie ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 18:46:52 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Important point: Call her Mabel, even if her name is something else.
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 18:08:47 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
filthyziff ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:41:45 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would but I'm several years past 15.
LegalisticMormonStan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:33:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He doesn't care as long as your not over 40. Polly Joe does not have unreasonable expectations :/
Your ways are my ways
ExMorgMD ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 18:37:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a similar vein I will make up random quotes and attribute them to made up GAs to mess with TBMs.
"Well, according to Darrin Q Jenson of the 473rd Quorum of the Seventy the only time one should remove their garments is after Jesus has sentenced them to the Telestial Kingdom"
"Oh, you didn't read the Ensign Article by D. Rodney Ashworth of the 73rd and a half Quorum of the Seventy? He taught that while the Garden of Eden was located near Jackson, Missouri; Jackson Missouri is actually located in Plainview, Texas"
Word2daWise ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:57:09 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I absolutely LOVE this idea! The hidden novelist in my head is awakening!
QuakersOnTheMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, that second one could be a from r/KenM
Staterae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:48 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, no, Elder Cunningham! Youโre making things up again. Just stick to the approved dialogue!โ
BaronVonCrunch ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:40:37 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll go to church with you this Sunday if you will..."
You will get no takers, leaving you free and clear on Sunday.
NearlyHeadlessLaban ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:32:18 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddammit, don't you dare use the prophets name in vain!
pupilkupil ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a similar thing by dropping the pretentious middle initials from the church leaders' names.
When you say "Tom Monson" or "Dave Haight" they get really confused.
2sacred2relate ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:24:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similar to "Joe Smith", refer to a GA without their middle initial. For example: How is Tom Monson doing? Or, "Dallin Oaks has been in the news lately"
russellmpalpatine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:37:33 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dallin's holy middle initial actually improves his name - Dallin Hoaks.
nomollynomore ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:12:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so odd how much of a difference that makes, but it totally does.
xLDS4life ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:25:19 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have read further down the comment thread, but yes to this. And to make Tom sound more like a kid, refer to him as Tommy.
ForeignBoyle ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:06:35 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Smith and his gold Bible
LDSRevelations ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True and there's an interesting observation in that. The act of conforming to societal norms in Mormonism is so crazy important. "Joseph Smith" is how you refer to the founder and anything less is seen as disrespectful. Hell even saying Thomas Monson (drop the S) or Mr. Monson would irk most LDS. They'll give non-Mos a passโ because they don't know better โbut the thought of one who has been taught to do it and chooses not to is viscerally offensive to Mormons. So odd.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:38:00 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could say, "Fuck Joe." That's probably going to get the point across.
LegalisticMormonStan ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:36:40 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just start listing the people Joe ducked.
Edit:*fucked auto correct but I'm leaving it.
Your ways are my ways
Nevermo_Jralphie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:36:08 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the fuck word has no real impact on most people anymore....
I_choose_not_to_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:55 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just say Oh my God!!!!
VagueCharacter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:05 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha.. any TBM would die on the spot if they heard my almost 4 y/o granddaughter exclaim "Jesus Christ!" Picked that up from her mommy. I have to admit I felt a momentary need to correct her, but didn't. She's never been to church, those are just words to her.. I'd rather it stay that way.
CherryStraw ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:36 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pervy Joe ;)
ledastrayjay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:51:26 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Referring to God as a sky fairy gets a pretty similar reaction.
Rickexmo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:10 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit there's a lot of evil speaking about the lords anointed up in here. I can almost feel the flames of hell in here.
1215angam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:11 on October 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ol' Joe
z1wargrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:12 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is TSCC and TBM?
๐๏ธ stillinbutout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:33:19 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The So-Called Church. True Believing Mormon
z1wargrider ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:20 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. I'm not an ex-Mormon, but an ex-Christian with a Mormon best friend. I found this sub and thought it might eventually help me rescue her if she comes to her senses.
wardslut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:08 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy Joe
Mormologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:37 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just say... Joesph's Myth. See how long it takes them to catch on
ClayChristensen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:45 on October 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isnโt it funny that we know the culture so well. With a simple โJoe Smith...โ we would out ourselves as pure evil anti-mormons.