🎙️ throwaway32093490 · 206 points · Posted at 16:17:02 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Lived with years of crushing guilt for touching myself.
Read the entire Ensign magazine every month for over a decade.
Read Jesus the Christ cover-to-cover no fewer than three times.
Spent two years of my life—at my own expense—wearing a shirt and tie in blistering tropical heat while trying to convince others to be Mormon like me.
Read the BoM more times than I care to remember.
Always exercised with my G’s on…even in the middle of summer.
Always put my G’s back on immediately after s.e.x.
Dealt with years of crushing guilt over a couple of make out sessions with a high school girlfriend in which boobs (ahhh!, boobs!) were touched (even after properly "confessing" my "sexual sin" to my then-Bishop).
As a 21 y.o. male returned missionary confessed to my next-door-neighbor Bishop that I was guilty of “self-stimulation.” (If you’re wondering…yeah, it was awkward.)
Always knew the names of all of the active Q15 and always had my “favorite” apostle.
Was a virgin on my wedding night at age 23.
Threw out all my "worldly music" when I returned from my Mormon mission and listened only to Classical music or other sprit-approvedTM music. (Note: this only lasted about 18 months until I succumbed to occasional pop radio listening.)
Attended and graduated from 4 years of Mormon “seminary.”
Stopped watching PG-13 movies from age 21 until my 30's when I left the Church.
Didn’t share my Mormon temple “new name” with my wife until we left the Church in our 30’s.
Never tasted alcohol, coffee, or tea until my 30’s when I left the Church.
Cleaned the Church bathrooms, without complaint, more times than I can remember.
Would take the sacrament table sheets home to wash them if they had any small spots or stains.
Would regularly dress up in a white toga, baker’s hat, and green apron and bow my head and say “yes” to giving all I had to the Church.
Was wearing that same white toga, baker’s hat, and green apron when I got married.
Never had anything but missionary s.e.x. until I left the Church in my 30’s.
Had serious suicidal thoughts for the first time in my life was when, as a 27 y.o., I ‘slipped up’ and looked at porn for 5 minutes, and then told my Mormon wife and she was so mad that she began treating me like dirt and wanted to divorce me.
Actually read The Miracle of Forgiveness TWICE and liked it both times (see above suicidal thoughts from shame I felt about looking at porn).
Would regularly give 10 to 20 hours a week to my Church “calling.”
Paid somewhere in the high five-figures in tithes and offerings.
Trusted the Church to be honest with me.
Felt completely heartbroken and betrayed when I found out the Church wasn’t honest with me.
Knew instantly that the Church leaders were not worthy of my loyalty when it became clear that they were holding themselves to a different standard than they demanded of me.
It’s so amazing being free! At least Mormonism gave me the honesty and integrity to recognize its lies when they were finally brought to my attention (hat tip to CES Letter). There’s no way you could ever get me to go back! And I’m so excited that my kids get to grow up without ANY of the above!
Tell me about the times that you “were so Mormon that you…”
Saved comment
NearlyHeadlessLaban · 85 points · Posted at 16:53:12 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
...that I back dated my tithing check to Saturday rather than put the Sabbath date on it.
[deleted] · 30 points · Posted at 17:55:21 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
The fucking username is perfect.
almostexmormon · 8 points · Posted at 19:48:15 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
That is dedication! Avoiding the appearance of evil.
Porn_Beard · 3 points · Posted at 00:18:31 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
"thou shalt not covet another's username" but it's so hard in this case.
Priestherd · 3 points · Posted at 03:18:25 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I don't know... your name is pretty great
MississippiJoel · 2 points · Posted at 21:12:19 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Nevermo here: what's the significance of that? I couldn't care less when I give money to my baptist church what date it pays on.
ebteach · 6 points · Posted at 22:28:21 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Mormon's aren't supposed to spend money on Sunday, so this was extended to tithing. I didn't personally worry about this, but it doesn't mean it was obviously a thing for some people!
MississippiJoel · 6 points · Posted at 22:56:31 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
That...is the stupidest thing I've ever heard...
notacult
ZelphtheGreat · 7 points · Posted at 02:01:22 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Wait til you hear more about mormonism - and this will be way down on the list.
MississippiJoel · 1 points · Posted at 06:08:44 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Oh, I've been pretty involved with LDS for the last few years. My girlfriend I met at a ysa event, but she is no longer involved with it. I've heard other stupid things.
Namby-Pamby_Milksop · 2 points · Posted at 03:33:15 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
To make the # look like a # instead of making your words big, write "\#notacult" instead of "#notacult"
Sansabina · 2 points · Posted at 07:48:49 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
or use backslash, it turns off the special character function of the character that follows it (and it won't appear)
# tells words to appear bold.
#notacult
Namby-Pamby_Milksop · 2 points · Posted at 14:31:12 on August 8, 2017 · (Permalink)
Oops, I did, but I only used one in the quotes so it disappeared. Fixed!
Sansabina · 1 points · Posted at 07:48:02 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
a pretty extreme thing to do for even a TBM, I think the vast majority of other TBMs wouldn't care.
Averill0 · 3 points · Posted at 23:00:43 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I used to sell Cutco
insert ten hour rant here about how much i hated itand I once lost a sale because the customer was hella TBM and it was a Sunday. Sunday was allegedly the big sale/appointment-making day because everybody's supposedly home on Sunday.[deleted] · 67 points · Posted at 16:25:53 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
People like you inspire me. I'm 21. I left before marriage, kids, gobs of tithing money, years of unfulfilling sex, etc. I had the easy path out compared to you. So thanks. Thank you for reminding me that I should take each lesson I can learn from you and others in the same situation.
🎙️ throwaway32093490 · 30 points · Posted at 16:30:18 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Yeah, you're definitely lucky to be out at 21. At the same time, I'm just happy to be out in my 30's before baptism of kids, putting my kids in YM/YW programs, etc. Another decade for me and the extraction process would have been that much more painful...
NearlyHeadlessLaban · 16 points · Posted at 20:57:02 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I'm just happy to have figured it out in my 50's despite raising TBM's and RMs, even though the extraction process is greatly complicated.
trueorderofplayer · 11 points · Posted at 18:36:53 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
To be fair, I had some pretty damn fulfilling sex during my nearly 20 years married as a TBM. Not to put too fine a point on it but we happily performed every type and position we could come up with. After we left it got a little better,but that's mostly because we are closer than we were before.
sacredxsecret · 7 points · Posted at 19:00:31 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Same. I got out at 18. I am so, so grateful I didn't have to extricate myself during a Mormon adulthood.
the70sdiscoking · 51 points · Posted at 18:07:38 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
(reposting from a year ago)
Yo mama's so Mormon, she ordered a non-alcoholic root beer.
Yo mama's so Mormon, when I told her little Johnny found a beehive in the tree, she offer to drive it home.
Yo mama's so Mormon, when she sneezes she asks for a priesthood "blessing."
Yo mama's so Mormon, she thinks the primary elections are when she sustains the CTR teachers.
Yo mama's so Mormon, she answers telemarketer calls so she can invite them to church.
Yo mama's so Mormon, she bought a chess set just so she can say there's a bishop in her house.
Yo mama's so Mormon, when I told her I lost my keys she thought I was excommunicated.
Yo mamas so Mormon, hence the multiple mamas.
Priestherd · 6 points · Posted at 03:21:42 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I'm so doing this telemarketers are made for messing with
Namby-Pamby_Milksop · 3 points · Posted at 03:38:28 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
If anyone tries to offer you life insurance, tell them you won't be needing it, but they should make sure to get some soon...
Alternatively, say that life insurance will be useless once Cthulhu is set free again and the world is consumed in fire, or just tell them you're immortal.
Priestherd · 2 points · Posted at 03:44:39 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Have any come backs for solar panels salespersons I get a ton of those?
the70sdiscoking · 3 points · Posted at 03:59:54 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
As comedian Scott Wyler says, "When I get someone who calls me and says, 'Hi, I'm glad you picked up I wanted to talk to you about aluminum siding.' I say, 'Hi, I'm glad you called I wanted to talk to you about the Jehovah's Witnesses! -Hello? Hello?.'"
Namby-Pamby_Milksop · 1 points · Posted at 14:29:27 on August 8, 2017 · (Permalink)
I'd probably pretend like I have no idea what they are ("Are they, like, lights that look like the sun?"), and then be absolutely amazed when they explain ("They TRAP THE SUN?! How do they DO that?!") and yell that I have to tell everyone about this and hang up.
Priestherd · 1 points · Posted at 16:26:22 on August 8, 2017 · (Permalink)
Sounds pretty good to me
[deleted] · 19 points · Posted at 17:57:59 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
You took your sacred garments off during sex? Repent ye.
trueorderofplayer · 30 points · Posted at 18:39:07 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon I chastised my wife on our wedding night for falling asleep in lingerie instead of changing back into garments.
K1b9s79 · 3 points · Posted at 04:19:06 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
You win!
for_the_revolution · 7 points · Posted at 05:22:00 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
He made his wife get out of lingerie. I think he lost in this situation.
🎙️ throwaway32093490 · 8 points · Posted at 18:49:20 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Good mormons don't say the "s" word. They spell it, like "s.e.x." because that's how Jesus likes it, lol!
Last I checked there was no such thing as open-crotch G's (but maybe Rusty Nelson's kinky side recently got the best of him and they'll offer them soon)...so, yeah, the G's came off, but since Jesus doesn't like naked snuggling they also went right back on :)...
NearlyHeadlessLaban · 6 points · Posted at 21:00:12 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Since the advent of two piece you are supposed to roll up one leg and bunch the fabric to the side and do the best you can. /s
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 23:06:51 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
"Members should not adjust the garment or wear it contrary to instructions... when two-piece garments are used, both pieces should always be worn."
Basically, only dry humping is allowed. And pregnancy will still occur if you're not of little faith.
WeaverFan420 · 3 points · Posted at 23:13:43 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Kind of like how God descended from Kolob, wearing his garments, to fuck his own daughter, Mary, and impregnate her with Jesus, all while wearing his garments.
EscapeFromWitchMtn · 5 points · Posted at 20:42:43 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Did they finally do away with the horrible flappy things? Cuz I remember my parents garments. One piece, semi overlapping crotch flaps... shudders
MarvelousExodus · 2 points · Posted at 01:37:48 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Some types of one piece gs have been discontinued, but some are still available
https://www.lds.org/church/news/beehive-clothing-to-discontinue-select-garment-styles?lang=eng
casuallyambiguous · 1 points · Posted at 04:23:18 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I know...my Dad still wears that kind. It was horrifying to walk into my folks' room as a kid and see HALF OF IT, or sometimes, even worse, ALL OF IT. Isn't half the point supposed to be to cover stuff up?? Super glad I never got to that point.
dwindlers · 1 points · Posted at 04:07:15 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
No, there are definitely open-crotch garments. They're the one-piece. My mom still wears them.
freakinoverit · 20 points · Posted at 16:28:37 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Continued to trust in old men who lied about the history, their stipends, their investments, and their faith promoting stories long after my conscience told me it was false. I trusted them more than I trusted myself. Foolish. Won't happen again.
[deleted] · 17 points · Posted at 19:03:04 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
WeaverFan420 · 6 points · Posted at 23:14:05 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Garments
kevinrex · 18 points · Posted at 20:11:36 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
OMG, I can top you on so many of these. How do I insert a bullet for effect? OK, I got it * I memorized almost the entire Temple Ceremony, and would repeat it and continually strive to memorize those parts I hadn't during proxy endowment sessions (it helped keep me from getting too bored). * I hid being gay for 40 years (I was 49 when I came out, and I knew pretty much at age 9 I was gay). * I felt guilty everytime I looked at a man for more than 2 seconds. * I would regularly give 40 hours a week or more to my bishopric callings, giving special attention to the Primary which I was assigned, and attended Primary often as a bishopric member to show my support and play the piano for them. * I never had anything but heterosexual "missionary position" sex for 29 years of pretending to be heterosexual. * I read and memorized parts of the "miracle of forgiveness" and "Mormon Doctrine". * I won scripture chase 95% of the time in Seminary. * I memorized parts of the New Era so I could win at MIA events (we did competitions to see who had read it, for about a year during my teenage years). * I memorized all songs to Saturday's Warrior and later to "My Turn On Earth" and really felt the spirit when I'd sing them. * I memorized a hundred hymns so that I could comply with Boyd K Packer's counsel to repeat a hymn every time I had an unclean thought (which was every time I saw a man, Gawd I was fucked up). * I was fucked up!
kevinrex · 6 points · Posted at 20:12:22 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
NearlyHeadlessLaban · 2 points · Posted at 21:03:50 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
You still have to have a paragraph (double return) between your "OK, I got it" and the bullet *
Still-ILO · 17 points · Posted at 17:51:32 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Went into some woods behind my house to be alone and "pray vocally" just like the wonderful, incredible, spiritual giant, priesthood leader, and prophet Joseph did.
I didn't expect a vision, but I was hoping for that converting spirit to come and tell me how gloriously true Mormonism was. He never showed up.
GeorgeQCannabis · 4 points · Posted at 02:00:36 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I never felt this until I ate psilocybin mushrooms, and it was way better than I ever expected the "confirmation of the holy ghost" to feel.
I know that mushrooms are true, in the name of Terence McKenna, Amen.
haz000 · 1 points · Posted at 21:34:51 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Yep...did this several times
seventhvision · 1 points · Posted at 01:52:38 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I did that in 'the' Sacred Grove. No body home. Hmmm.
ZoarialClock18 · 16 points · Posted at 16:52:08 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
So Mormon that I recognized the same pyramid scheme tactics used by our missionaries to get TBMs to contact and convert their friends also used in an very expensive vacuum cleaner sales pitch.
letmylightshine · 11 points · Posted at 19:05:27 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Gave up doing the thing I loved doing the most in the whole world, my chosen career, my passion since I was 5, the only thing that made me feel "me" because it didn't fit the "plan" for my life according to the church. In hindsight it was probably good after all (the career I was headed towards was dancing and I have a lot of physical pain still, which I was having a lot of trouble with at the time, in addition to some borderline eating disorder stuff..) I met my husband soon after and have kids and a whole new career which is also fulfilling, but still. What if that good stuff hadn't happened. I basically gave up my identity, and struggled with (undiagnosed) depression and have really not truly felt like "myself" ever since. That is pretty scary. Shelf fell down only a week or two ago and I find myself dancing in the living room while the kids are listening to random sesame street songs. I didn't do that before.
I look forwards to being my best self again and not hold anything back.
secretly_love_this · 2 points · Posted at 22:46:36 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Please keep dancing!! I understand. (Never-mo, but terrible religious experiences as a kid and I love this community.)
anima-vero-quaerenti · 10 points · Posted at 16:20:59 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Welcome to the den of villainy and vice.
Satash · 9 points · Posted at 16:51:17 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
This is basically me except I always watched r-rated movies and I don't think I ever cleaned the church bathrooms. I also lettered in Seminary in HS. (ugh...).
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 17:57:22 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Satash · 8 points · Posted at 19:49:25 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
At my high school you could. There were 2 of us that did that year. They gave us a pancake breakfast. This all seems more pathetic the more I write about it.
WeaverFan420 · 3 points · Posted at 23:14:59 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
But it's not a sport, how can you letter in it? I'm confused
Satash · 2 points · Posted at 15:49:34 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
You could letter in choir or theater in my school. It didn't have to be sport related.
WeaverFan420 · 1 points · Posted at 16:02:55 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Crazy
WeaverFan420 · 3 points · Posted at 23:14:43 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
My thoughts exactly. What in the actual fuck. Seminary is not a sport!
REACT_and_REDACT · 8 points · Posted at 19:54:06 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon, I thought that questioning "truth" was me being weak, and I shamed myself day after day for a few years. I mean, of course there's an intergalactic battle between God and Satan happening every second of every day even within the private thoughts of my own mind! Even thinking it may not be happening is losing the interplanetary war to Satan!
calorth · 1 points · Posted at 11:18:32 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Have heard it phrased like that... Intergalatatic battle between God and Satan.
iwaslostbutnowisee · 7 points · Posted at 01:59:56 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I will add a few of my own
Haha! The Twilight one just kills me and I'm so embarrassed that I ever confessed that to a man....
wonder_k · 2 points · Posted at 08:30:08 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Confessing these things, no matter how small, to someone who literally doesn't have ANY authority over you (except in your head) is horrifying. I ended up doing this over two "heavy petting" make-out sessions (a year or so apart, different guys). My dad was bishop at the time, so I deliberately went to my friend's singles ward bishop. UGH. Never, ever, EVER again.
JurassicPark6 · 6 points · Posted at 18:17:56 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
...that I prayed all night long like Enos hoping for strength, forgiveness, and clarity. Would fall asleep on my hands & strain my back.
BYU_atheist · 4 points · Posted at 03:32:46 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
How does one even do that, except through reading the phone book to God, filibuster-style?
JurassicPark6 · 2 points · Posted at 15:54:54 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I sincerely and honestly followed the Enos method--pray for those you love the most and then move to outward concentric circles. It's not a terrible meditation exercise, I suppose, but I resent that I felt so unworthy and flawed.
MormonAndGay · 6 points · Posted at 03:32:41 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon that I cried in the middle of Sunday school when my classmates were talking over a lesson about something with the nephites...I stood up and said that they should be more respectful because we were talking about real people and real events. Very embarrassing nowXD
PikachuSaves · 4 points · Posted at 17:23:49 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Did your wife have an issue leaving the church behind?
🎙️ throwaway32093490 · 19 points · Posted at 18:37:53 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Nope. When she turned the corner she turned it quickly. I was out first, but she processed it all much faster than me and has never looked back! (And, yes, she has apologized for treating me like shit over the porn thing...we're in an awesome place in our marriage right now.)
BillyMormon · 3 points · Posted at 19:44:58 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Suicidal thoughts.... thanks Miracle of Forgiveness.... Worst book in the history of books. Been there... DOne that
ZoarialClock18 · 4 points · Posted at 00:17:40 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
That I felt bad if I ate a coffee flavored Jelly Belly! LOL
Western_Nihilist · 5 points · Posted at 01:33:10 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I never was so mormon anything. At 5 I told my mom that the bible and book of Mormon were wrong and that national geographic was right (issue about human origins). At 8 I didnt want to get baptized. I made a deal with my mom that i would but I could stop going to church at 14 without her hassling me (14 is when two of my brothers stopped going). I kept my end but she didn't. Every Sunday I burned or ripped up whatever handouts I got. At 18 I burned my scriptures and all other church books, manuals, and deseret book fiction my mom and sisters bought for me. I fought every Sunday for 18 years and tried to get out of going to church whenever possible. I was forced to go to summer camp but would simply stay in my own tent away from the cabins, set out hiking pre-dawn, return after dark when they were done singing. I refused to pray in any meetings. I was forced into seminary but took it in the mornings so I could sleep in. I was a good kid though. Honor roll. Didn't date at all so no sex, no drinking or smoking. But I was always treated by others as if I was evil. Even by the same people who faked being so pure but gave out blow jobs on the bus. And my parents and bishop would tell me to be more like them. I just could not take the hypocrisy. In my 20s I did try a couple of times to go to church again for my spouse who is still a member but inactive. I met with the bishop and missionaries. I accepted callings though I was upfront I was an atheist. I fulfilled my callings and faked being a true believer to everyone but my spouse and bishop. But I was never accepted in the ward and got sick of feeling like I was back in high school with the drama and gossiping. I resigned my membership right after the church came out with their LGBT policy. I am bisexual and think it is messed up that children of homosexuals are treated like they have a disease and not allowed to be members even if they believe or are just trying to fit in.
Middleageexmo · 3 points · Posted at 19:19:51 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Turned in an entire village of peoples for temple work.
Mandiferous · 3 points · Posted at 01:57:41 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
To your bullet point about putting your G's on after sex:
How soon after? Now that I'm exmo and living the dream of having sex whenever and with whoever I want, I can't imagine putting my underwear back on after sex. Cuddling naked is literally the best thing in the world. If going to sleep, I understand, cause not everyone likes to sleep naked. But I guess all I have to say is I'm sorry you lived that way, and I'm so glad you don't have to anymore!
HeberGayGrant · 3 points · Posted at 03:15:10 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon I thought the brethren visited face to face with Jesus. Of course I also thought that they knew how to make me straight.
uncorrolated-mormon · 2 points · Posted at 14:09:38 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I remember telling people about that picture of white Jesus with red robs. That portrait was an accurate depiction because the apostles actually talk to him face to face....ugh...
secretnotsacred · 3 points · Posted at 03:20:05 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I got this.
Superbowl parties at 12:01am.
Cause the Sabbath.
Ugh
NewNameNoah · 3 points · Posted at 06:02:30 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I followed Ed Decker (God Makers) from town to town on his tour of Utah, heckling him by handing fliers to people coming and going to see him talk. The fliers just had personal dirt on Decker that I had gathered from his ex-wife.
Ah_Q · 2 points · Posted at 06:28:43 on August 5, 2017 · (Permalink)
That's actually kind of hilarious
wardslut · 2 points · Posted at 20:12:47 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Jayyyyyyzzzzussss!
haddyzz · 2 points · Posted at 21:26:06 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I can check off pretty much every single box myself...
bebeze · 2 points · Posted at 21:34:45 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I did quite a lot of Mormony things when I was TBM. I read ''Jesus the Christ'' more than the BoM. I hated SWK's book ''The Miracle of Forgiveness.''
I held a lot of callings, kept the Sabbath, went to the temple fairly often and always wore my Gs.
You were a way better Mormon than I was though, if we are comparing by this list. I was always told that I was a bit to much of a smart mouth and didn't respect the priesthood enough. My participation wasn't as good after a few decades of trying (and failing) to be perfect.
Seeing all the things tscc makes people do on a list like this makes me dizzy. I am very happy for you and glad your kids will not be doing any of the things on your list.
Word2daWise · 2 points · Posted at 01:23:42 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Wore my Gs 24/7, even at night & even at home on my day off, and even while not married to anyone. After all, maybe God was watching.
Always read the Ensign & kept them because it felt like I was sinning if I put them in the recycle bin.
Faithfully did my VT even when the crazy person I was assigned to literally caused me to be hospitalized (the other women were nice, though).
Cried and sobbed violently when I learned I'd been lied to by a church I thought was better than any other.
CodyMcAllister · 2 points · Posted at 03:48:16 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
That was ME TO A T!!
underzionsradar · 4 points · Posted at 18:11:13 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I knew people like you when I was younger.
Truth be told, you were an absolute pain in the ass to be around - even to the resolute TBMs. Everything was a "worthiness competition", with you being either a smug, pious winner or an angry, vengeful loser. You just weren't a very fun person and most of us outwardly avoided social contact with your type - especially outside of our church obligations.
That being said, welcome to the world!!! Hope you find happiness, success and everything else you desire from life. :)
🎙️ throwaway32093490 · 15 points · Posted at 18:36:44 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
In my defense, I can confidently say that I was never the smug, self-righteous, judgmental type (though I do know exactly the type you are talking about). Trust me when I say all of my judgmentalism was reserved for myself and it gave me massive self esteem issues. I was so worried about "God" hating me for being so "unworthy" that I had no time to worry about what others were doing. I was never able to be "proud of my righteousness" since I never once felt "worthy" of anything.
thatgayguy12 · 4 points · Posted at 22:36:04 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Oh I totally was! If the church wasn't working for you, in my opinion you were the problem
I remember telling others around me why don't you believe that gay people choose to be gay, I mean the prophet said it that is the end all of any discussion
cornersofthebowl · 2 points · Posted at 19:05:34 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so mormon I mistook eidetic memory for messages from the spiritTM.
REACT_and_REDACT · 1 points · Posted at 19:48:59 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon, I laid my hands on people's heads in some sort of magical ritual involving oil where I told people God's will for them ... like I knew shit about God's will.
UnrequitedFollower · 1 points · Posted at 19:56:13 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
I will say, I laughed at the favorite apostle part. Man, you have me beat so hard... not a dick joke...
thatgayguy12 · 1 points · Posted at 22:34:13 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Was so Mormon that I put the possibility that the prophets were wrong in the same paet of my brain that I put unicorns and wizards... I didn't think that was a possibility
I too was dreadfully honest with my church leaders and I felt a lit of same and suicidal feelings for it... But I thought it was a necessity because I assumed that the church would do the same (and just had no reason to because it was so amazing)
Now I think of the church when I listen to Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood" song.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 23:16:29 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Wow, you're really good at pretending. Even when I was pretending as hard as I could, I wasn't able to achieve anywhere close to that level or TBMishness.
I_H8_The_LDS_Church · 1 points · Posted at 23:37:16 on August 3, 2017 · (Permalink)
Pfft. Actually no. Sad
mycleanaccount96 · 1 points · Posted at 00:06:59 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Wow this is very insightful. You went through a lot damn i hope youre in a better spot now and also feel free from the pointless guilt.
pinknoise44 · 1 points · Posted at 00:35:19 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon I wanted to be a prophet when I was a kid
seventhvision · 1 points · Posted at 02:22:57 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Haha, I used to want that too. Then I found out you had to have a penis to qualify. I never had the same respect for the calling after that. I was about 4 when I figured all of that out. I was also about that age when I was told to never ever question those guys. That pissed me off. I kept a list of questions in my head until it got so long I couldn't remember them all. Well, no wonder you can't ask them questions! There's too many.
iamtheswoop · 1 points · Posted at 00:47:30 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
And I thought I was Hardcore!...I only washed the sacrament covers once a year and then felt guilty it was only once a year
WO99SPRY · 1 points · Posted at 01:46:02 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
Not that out there really. Not outside the bell curve anyway. I actually know a man, father of six, who never saw his wife nekkid and never removed his G's for s.e.x. Why I was told this, by him, I am not sure.
BobEvansReturns · 1 points · Posted at 04:22:20 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
...that I spent our entire tax refund on food storage.
casuallyambiguous · 1 points · Posted at 04:34:05 on August 4, 2017 · (Permalink)
I was so Mormon that I snitched on my best friend at a youth dance when she ducked into the nursery room to kiss a less active boy. I was so Mormon that I was sure that all the other youth were less holy than I was because they listened to Top 40. And I was soooooo Mormon that I went to addiction recovery class for gossiping and sat with a bunch of older dudes I knew from church who I suddenly found out had problems with porn. I was such an a$$hole. And I'm still so freaking brainwashed, I still spell a$$hole with dollar signs...you know, because no one with half a brain can crack that code.