nevermo says: "that gender reinforcement hour of church was just weird"

Gender reinforcement was pretty much what I thought (though not in such pithy words) the first time I went to church with my then-bf (now my husband). Super awkward to be with these ladies I barely knew, especially my bf's mother who was being so damn nice to me (even though she obviously didn't want me kissing her son). I tried to arrange my face to look like I was getting something valuable out of this class, but mostly I just was hyper-aware that I felt like an ogre compared to these perfectly coiffed ladies talking about the delicate art of womanliness.

Years later, when we were married and living in a different city, I tried to accompany my husband to church so that people wouldn't pity the poor guy who didn't marry an LDS girl and who now has to go to church alone. Sunday school finished up and the menfolk started to gather for priesthood meeting in the room where the Gospel Doctrine class met. I stayed put.

I was getting some nervous nod-smiles and some avoidance, like you might expect. I smiled and nodded back. Finally one guy took it upon himself to explain to me that this meeting was for men and that relief society was for the women and it was meeting down the hall. "I'm not going to relief society," I said. He asked why not. I told him I don't like relief society. He looked shocked, but left me alone. Another guy tried to interest me in relief society also, so I explained to him that I don't like people telling me how to be female, that I was there to support my husband and I didn't see how my going to RS would be of any use to him, and that I figured it was either priesthood or wait at the cafe down the block, but if I stayed in priesthood at least I might learn something new about the religion. By then it was time for the meeting to start.

I don't remember anything about the lesson, but what I do remember was that whoever was conducting asked me to introduce myself, said I was welcome, and then made a crack about how he understood if I liked to be around all those men. Jerk. [Edit: actually quite possibly not a jerk.] I just sat there trying to be polite while a bunch of guys laughed at me. I think I must have looked daggers at him or something because he came up to me and quietly apologized afterward...but obviously I still haven't forgotten it.

It's gender conditioning classes.

YMMV, but when I was going through priesthood hour, I always wondered why it was specific to boys. I didn't feel like I was learning anything that the young women shouldn't learn. My best friend in the church went to her laurels meeting but she never shied away from telling me what was going on there, and again it made me wonder, she wasn't being taught anything young men shouldn't learn. So even though I didn't think to ask why they were being held separately, I didn't think at the time that it was gender reinforcement.

Though, much later and after hearing many more stories outside my experience, I see now what I had missed the first time.

how the gender reinforcement class was super weird

What an accurate description.

I'm a nevermo who has been totally interested in this community for a couple of years.

When I was in college about 9 years ago, my boyfriend at the time converted seemingly overnight. We were both agnostic and it was really weird. He invited me to church with him, and even though I had to sit in a tiny dark room with two missionaries and watch a ridiculous video about Joseph smith, the thing that most turned me off from the church as the hour spent with a bunch of women I didn't know, being told how the number one most important thing in my life was to serve my man.

It brought up a lot of serious dialogue between us and made me realize this was not a lifestyle j could ever be a part of, and it also wasn't a belief system I was comfortable with my partner having.

We have exchange students who basically asked the same thing. "Why do all the men and women go to seperate classes?" (Kid me): "Well, you see it... uh... hm. I guess I don't know why."

It is really weird that men and women separate. I don't think any other run of the mill Christian churches separate. They have a sermon, MAYBE have bible study, then go home. Some churches socialize afterward with coffee (gasp!) and pastries. I was always jealous of churches that only met for an hour or so, then visited and relaxed afterward. Unlike Mormons, where everyone is tired and hungry after church and can't wait to get the hell out of dodge.