Good, Bad, Worse, Worst

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ IronGolem_ ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 21:54:50 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Post something good then somebody has to follow it with something bad twisting it and it keeps on getting twisted as the thread goes on.

Ex:

Good: I went to lunch with my sister

Bad: Then I took her to my bedroom

Worse: Then my mother busted in and caught me in the act

Worst: And returned her back to the morgue

DracoM42 ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 21:55:45 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I went on a really nice date.

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ IronGolem_ ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

with my anime body pillow

C0105 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:58:21 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

It started to breathe

Swaayze ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 22:07:40 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I choked it until it stopped

-Mithrodin- ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 22:10:16 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

So, i continued on with our date

TheMeaningOfLifeIs69 ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 00:33:32 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I'm glad I stuffed my girlfriend in the pillow case.

mikmikthegreat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Fin.

PopsicleJolt ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:15:09 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then she was chewed up by my dog.

Backoff2069 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:28 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

He only managed to chew up her left arm before she punted him across the room.

PopsicleJolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:27 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

She then vowed to get revenge on the psychos who tried to kill her.

[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Her hit list also includes an entire kindergarten class at a school for blind children.

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:34 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And she proceeds to murder every single teacher.

Awkward_Squidward ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 21:55:58 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I went to the shelter and adopted a bunch of puppies

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ IronGolem_ ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 21:57:50 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then I took them to the resturaunt

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 22:02:10 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

The chef said "at last, my ingredients have arrived"

OpsadaHeroj ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 22:03:43 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And promptly grabbed your children, whom you brought with

mactevirtuteana ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:43:04 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

All in all, a very good meal.

RashGod ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 02:09:49 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Dogs enjoyed it too

[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:17:14 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Until one got a little blood on him, and all the dogs attacked, killing each other.

johnvak01 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:46:45 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Thankfully my wife was there so I had her clean up the mess.

StamatopoulosMichael ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:33:55 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

My wife of course being one of the dogs.

PopsicleJolt ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 02:15:56 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

You accidentally moved to a vampire neighborhood.

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 22:06:52 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I had a family photo taken today

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ IronGolem_ ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 22:07:41 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

with only ties

ACESTOUT2810 ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 22:11:39 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Zip-ties that is. Binding out hands and feet together

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 22:24:39 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Unfortunately It's the only way to stop grandpa touching himself

Dioksys ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 01:21:38 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But we didn't have enough zipties, so Uncle Bill kept touching my little sister.

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:40:01 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

The photographer was using a camera from the early 1900s so everyone had to stand there for an hour; grandpas hands slowly turning blue from lack of blood flow, uncle bill causing a nuisance, while the image was burned onto the photographic plate

[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:44:55 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Because the camera was so old, it started emitting sparks, and apparently the backdrops are flammable.

[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:55:00 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

My sister was closest to the flames, unfortunately.

[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:09:15 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

My uncle touched her even more after that.

ajlposh ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:32:12 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I got a promotion at work

Yokutoru ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 23:52:09 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But it was because my boss was doing my wife behind my back and he felt bad

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:57:48 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

So now she's pregnant with his kid, and I have to go to work every day at the dog food factory, taste testing the recipe in order to pay the divorce settlement

David367th ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:34:06 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

The dog food is used to put dogs down.

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 00:35:43 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

It's hard work down there at the "Last Supper Pet Food Company"

Riobbie303 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:51 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I got sick from the taste testing and have become critical. The kicker? The boss had fired me without notifying me, I lost my insurance to pay for any of this.

[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:57 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

So, now the only doctor who will see me is a veterinarian.

TheMeaningOfLifeIs69 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:25:49 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

At least they are good at what they do.

PornAcountTheThird ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:46:47 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But he's talked about putting me down.

DeoVeritati ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:06:54 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I won the lottery.

[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:10:02 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 01:29:56 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

elem3ntnerd ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 02:39:14 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

That duck was my only friend.

MegaMatr1x ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:41:12 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

As I looked at my friend the duck one last time I realized, he was a pidgin.

[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:21:01 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And I'm severely phobic of dead pigeons.

BeigeCouch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:00 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

So I threw the carcass out the window in terror

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:49 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

That attracted zombies.

kingofcow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:37:26 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I had left it everything in my will... So I list the lottery, my friend, and my heir.

ABLovesGlory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I went to the sewers to try and find it

Amputated ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:39:42 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Today I went to the movies

Jk-Studios ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:43:09 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

to escape my grandpa

RahornAdventure ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:46:08 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who eventually found his way to the theater, butt-naked

WynterSkies ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:28:59 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And proceeded to hump an employees leg

Slinkwyde ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 12:10:15 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

employees

*employee's (possessive, not plural)

mactevirtuteana ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:43:50 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And, as there were no more seats, he had to stay on my lap the whole movie.

WafflHausDildoKiller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:13 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

It would have been fine but he had decided to cover himself in cooking oil before he left the house

DrBunnyflipflop ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:33:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Straight from the fryer, which was turned on.

angederoses ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:53:18 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

It melted the zip ties we bind him up with to prevent this exact scenario.

BeigeCouch ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:02:44 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

2meta2fast

PROMETHEUS-one ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:03:03 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I got a new blender today! These smoothies are delicious.

FratumHospitalis ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:24:33 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Although I cut my finger off inside it by accident

Luckyjazzt ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:29:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

also my dick

Worksr ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:58:42 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And never forget the babies.

[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:55:10 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:22:10 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

They really enjoyed it at the vegetarian picnic.

BeigeCouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:58 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I canโ€™t wait until the school lets me have another one with my class, teachers arenโ€™t usually as fun as me

tuckmuck203 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:41 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I can't believe how easy it went through bone!

Bootysaurusrex123 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:48:03 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I started to play video games

ImpracticalJokester ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:25:33 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

The video game was a porn game

sillybammy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:24:09 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Of my dad

E3itscool ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:15:50 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

With a dog

Followed778 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:15:27 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Penetrating his dead body

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:51:29 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

While tied down, stuck in this position for ever

Rashizar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:26:53 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I have anger issues and broke my tv.

helloween4040 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:01:24 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

With my enflamed angry throbbing cock

[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:22:36 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Which I sliced off a hobo last night.

Shadia_Demon ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:43:59 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I was glad it was all just a dream

wwong555 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:46:29 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But I realized I had wet the bed

HoneyRuRu ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:00:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And now the salesperson has banned me from the mattress store

[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:16:19 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Where the manager is my dad.

Countless_Skeletons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:23 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then my dad smiled

Weegeemaker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:42 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Pointing a gun to his head

mactevirtuteana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:54 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And shooting it, thinking "afterlife could not be worse than this"

Weegeemaker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:04:49 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

He was wrong

wile_e_chicken ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:18:19 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Dead wrong.

SirCheez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:17 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Because he spent all of eternity trapped in an infinite mattress store, as untold numbers of his sons spread bodily fluids all over every mattress.

[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:27:54 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

captainminnow ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:36:04 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Because I lost my previous one recently.

[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:37:14 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:37:19 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

mikmikthegreat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:16:06 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I am a full time mom

[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:20:18 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

angederoses ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:57:31 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Er, was* 40.

[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:55 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Although I've known him since he was three, when I kidnapped him from a shopping mall.

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:22 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Along with his five siblings, who have all died since

[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:25 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Unnatural causes.

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:58 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

In a shoddy apartment where you can hear your neighbors having fun.

[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:31 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:42 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Apparently, he murdered Irene and kidnapped Jennifer because she was too beautiful.

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:59 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Yes, she was beautiful. But that was before he sliced off her buttcheeks, and grafted them to her face.

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:59 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

He got arrested for the murder of two women.

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:03 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

He got arrested for the murder of two women.

pslessard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:58:18 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I got engaged

Vellos0x1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:18:19 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

To a stripper

ReedYyyy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:29:45 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who looks like my dad

Vellos0x1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:31:04 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Turns out it IS my dad

PornAcountTheThird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:48:09 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And he wants to break off the engagement.

[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:00:08 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Because he's fallen in love with my ex girlfriend.

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:16:40 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who is my sister

SirCheez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:34 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who is a stripper

wile_e_chicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:21 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

They just got engaged.

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:42 on January 26, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And invited mom to the wedding.

Sovi3tPrussia ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:26:28 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I just won the lotto

Funandgeeky ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:43:16 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I owe money to the mob

bc264855 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:08:05 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

It turns out the mob is also a loan shark

AresWalker ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:14:23 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who is about to feed me to a literal shark.

I_FUCK_SLUGS_IN_EARS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:41:46 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

With AIDS

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:53:52 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Itโ€™s my pet shark

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:50 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And youโ€™re a pathetic evil overlord compared to my army of vampire cats

SirCheez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:10 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I should have used protection

[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:33 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I graduated school!

[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:40:19 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

after twelve years, im finally ready for high-school

Deepshit1212 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:20:37 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Second grade is high school right?

Andrakisjl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:42:38 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Nurse: Come now, itโ€™s time to take your pills and go to bed. Youโ€™re not supposed to be out in the hallway are you, you naughty man

Slinkwyde ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:12:35 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

im

*I'm

Jkny ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:08:40 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I donated some money

iamnotapottedplant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:38 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

0.50$, to be exact

Vellos0x1 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:43 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

To an abortion clinic

pslessard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:57:16 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

That is a front for ISIS

bob_boo_lala ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:40:10 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Then I proceeded to help their recruitment process...donating just wasn't fulfilling enough

eggman-or-walrus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:58 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I just finished a book today.

BaileytheP3nguin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:06:45 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Didn't taste too bad.

pslessard ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:58:16 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But I got several paper cuts on my tongue

exonero ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:34:27 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Naw ma tongue ith thuper thore

[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:56 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

My step mom is going to be displeased.

DitaVonThese ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:51:41 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I got paid today.

mactevirtuteana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:07:00 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

With one cent coins.

bob_boo_lala ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:42:47 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I only got paid 2 cents :-(

mactevirtuteana ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:44:06 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And I lost them because my wallet had a hole.

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:50 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

That my cousin chewed into it because she only eats leather.

koolaidmike ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:24 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

i had a fun time at the beach

pslessard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:57:53 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Until the sand became coarse and rough and irritating and got everywhere

Andrakisjl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:36 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then I choked my wife

[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:01:24 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who was trying to kill our children.

koolaidmike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:09 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

who were watching the prequels

rathemighty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:36:23 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I made a new friend because of a mutual appreciation of Steven Universe

pslessard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:56:33 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But then he turned out to be a stalker

rathemighty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:13:17 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Who preferred Teen Titans Go

mactevirtuteana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:06:04 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And My Little Poney

Followed778 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:49 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And had their own MLP OC

Minihood1997 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:44:44 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I had a healthy breakfast

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:19:51 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Of human meat

Deathmage777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:26:51 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Only mine of course

SirCheez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:13 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I think I broke my back though

PopsicleJolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:25 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I'm a magical girl.

mikmikthegreat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:27:08 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

At least thatโ€™s what my daddy says

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:42 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

He lied. I'm suddenly allergic to that garlic bread I used to love.

AresWalker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:14 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Unless he... no! It cannot be! This is a betra-clunk

PopsicleJolt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:39 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then another vampire sets out on a quest to slay all vampire hunters.

ReedYyyy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:30:53 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I walked to the store

pslessard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:43 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I tripped

bagheera457 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:52:40 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Over the pants that were at my ankles and feel into dog poo

Andrakisjl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:39:11 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Also... turns out the dog hadnโ€™t finished

[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:33 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

The smell of his scat on my flesh was too stimulating for him, and he began to assault me.

rAndOmpErsOn34556 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:43 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Then there were half dog half human babies

iamdumbest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:21 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Trump is my president.

David367th ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:11:38 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And then he had a second term.

LiquidSnak3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:22:52 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And a third

kraftian ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:29:08 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And he never stepped down.

TheMeaningOfLifeIs69 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:34:37 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And he took over the world.

[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:09:37 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

PopsicleJolt ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:17:04 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And Antarctica doesn't exist anymore.

BlueDogXL ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:16:17 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And somehow, 12,000 years from the nuke, shape-shifting squid-humans reign supreme.

helloween4040 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:02:12 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

And trump can finally take his real form

Vellos0x1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:43 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Sadly with smaller tentacles

Groctel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:36 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Which didn't stop him from becoming a hentai actor

PopsicleJolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:34 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Hentai anime takes over Crunchyroll.

bob_boo_lala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:16 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

But he gets into alien tentacle porn anyways

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ IronGolem_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:15 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

BOOYAH

BlueDogXL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:41 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

squidflops

kimise ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:59:00 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

Username checks out

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:08 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:32 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

[deleted]

Dilofrenzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:20 on January 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I took my Grandmother home today.

TheMeddlingMonk8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:52 on January 21, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I found a wallet on the street.

ThankyouFlame97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:34 on June 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)

I found a ยฃ5 note on the floor.