Dear god, the beeps and boops. Even non-programmers people should realize how quickly that would drive a person insane. Yet there it is, in every show.
Colopty ยท 792 points ยท Posted at 12:47:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we just need a show where the beeps and boops are actual audio clips of the programmer saying beep and boop.
In the background: โno, each beep and bop must be a unique instance, you canโt just record one beep and one boop and reuse them. Thatโd be just silly.โ
5225225 ยท 247 points ยท Posted at 13:44:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good job Gordon, throwing that switch and all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself.
rvbjohn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Augh! It's your fricken head humper!"
Crislips ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Augh! It's your pet, the fricken head humper!"
FTFY
rvbjohn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my head it was like you record 5 seconds and put it on loop but this is better. It could take up to 1 hour so we have 1 hour non stop from the programmer.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does it play a whizzy, clicky sound whenever I scroll the IDE?"
Gorpendor ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 14:27:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the problem is that uninformed people seem to think that programs are just a thing the computer does and not that programs are tools designed and created by humans and their properties are like parts on a car put there for a reason.
So the police have a police computer that has police software and of course it bleeps and bloops because that's the computing exertion noise. When I tell the computer to find me a criminal there's gonna be some code whizzing by on a command prompt because it's working hard goddamnit.
Or maybe it's just that they want a visually interesting way to show progress for television. It would be hilarious thought if it was a windows progress bar going from 30 seconds to 20 years every few seconds.
I've got half of that: my phone's "boot animation" is the actual logcat output of the boot process.
Frankly, it's rather worrying to see how many "error" level messages are generated.
I also once debugged a bootloop by where it failed. Unfortunately, the solution was "wipe user data and try again; there's compatibility issues between the latest update and your root-level mods".
Judging by the number of people that have the keyboard click noise on their phones turned on, I think you're wrong
LordDz ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:04:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought most people have it on because they donโt know how to turn it off?
boogs_23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:13:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be my dad. He refused to get a cell phone until mom forced him to have one. Now, of course, he is on the thing constantly while still talking shit about "kids on their phones". Anyways, he has every sound on with the volume all the way up. I put a stop to that shit as soon as his back was turned. He has no clue how to turn the sounds back on. Mom and I just shrugged our shoulders and said it must be broken.
DoxBox ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:09:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use that myself but it does have an obvious utility in that it gives feedback to the user that their "key" press is successful. I mean alright it's not super useful but the beeps and boops on TV shows aren't even communicating anything.
Makes some sense. I have mine set up to vibrate a little when i press a key for that reason but it would quicky drive me nuts if it was a click or a beep.
It's very useful when you've got a slow phone for which you need to wait for the feedback clicks before pressing again to ensure the letters come out in the correct order.
In the absence of real keys, the click noise is super useful feedback. If it made that noise every time I clicked a link or scrolled or something, that would not be good.
That's fine too. It's just a personal preference. In the real world when I type, it goes clickety-clack. So I don't mind when my phone keyboard does the same.
Bring on the upvotes but Iโm a programmer and I have that turned on because I find it fun. 99% of the time my phone is on silent so my keyboard is silent, but that 1% of the time itโs not and I hear the keyboard sounds it makes the typing more fun for me :)
That's completely different. They're not operating the Tardis as a 9hr/day job. It only makes silly noises while input new destinations and other reasonably short tasks.
I stopped because for a science fiction show starring an alien with an interdimensional space-time traveling machine, it sure takes place in the UK a lot.
I stopped because for a science fiction show starring an alien with an interdimensional space-time traveling machine, it sure takes place in the UK a lot.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some weak shit, sorry. Is there a female overrepresentation? Yes. Does it significantly harm the show? No.
Go ahead and check my post history. I'm a staunch anti-third wave feminist. But I'm not some snowflake that lets a few digs at men hurt my feelings.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can forgive those, they are for the audience. I know my PC and how to tell if it wants something from me or is done with a task, an audience looking over my shoulder doesn't, so a beep is added to draw the audience's attention.
And whenever there is progress, it should popup random stuff at random positions on the screen with random screensizes in flashy colors that put the focus on the interface and not the content.
An intrusion detection system (IDS) is a device or software application that monitors a network or systems for malicious activity or policy violations. Any detected activity or violation is typically reported either to an administrator or collected centrally using a security information and event management (SIEM) system. A SIEM system combines outputs from multiple sources, and uses alarm filtering techniques to distinguish malicious activity from false alarms.
There is a wide spectrum of IDS, varying from antivirus software to hierarchical systems that monitor the traffic of an entire backbone network.
/u/FratClack is a spam account, created solely to get people to click this link.
Other accounts replying to this comment could also be spam accounts, with the comments copied from elsewhere on Reddit to make the conversation look natural.
Edit: It looks like the replies to this comment are normal accounts.
It links to a fake image hosting site, showing a single image and three ads.
It is only relevant to this post in that the image in the link matches a key word with the OP.
Its only purpose is to make money from the ads.
Please downvote and report.
Now, if only there was someone here who could explain, in depth, how to stop these spammers, so that I could respond with, "Ugh, in English?!"
EVILEMU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been hunting these accounts for a while (check my comment history), there's a few telltale signs once you know what to look for.
First up, the image hosting site in the link is absolutely shit. There's ads everywhere, the UI sucks, and there's absolutely no way to upload an image.
Post history of the accounts posting the link is the same. Nothing more than single question posted to askreddit.
Comment history is the same. They only comment on other links posted by other accounts with similar attributes, and the comments are copied verbatim from previous threads.
Their names are the same. Names are two random words, with the first letter of each word is capitalised.
Now, each of these on their own is not enough to worry about. A cursory look at the account history wouldn't throw up any red flags.
But when you've seen the same thing over and over again, it's easy to spot.
If an account had nothing but shady links in its comment history, it would be deleted straight away. They lift entire comment chains from older posts in an attempt to look like normal users. I posted a more in-depth breakdown of how the spam ring operates on the other response to my comment.
Feel free to go back through my comment history, I've been hunting these accounts for a while...
At first I thought that this was just some dumb joke, but then it hit me that this was mostly true.
offlein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the Mac or PC jab at the end..? What is the difference? Are the things there indicative of only PC user interface? ... Or is it Apple UI? I don't even get which one they're picking on.
Haven't used a Mac in years so I don't know if the UI has changed but everything used to be represented by colored balls. It wasn't particularly intuitive.
Based on every time I've used a Mac, I'm pretty sure it also had icons on them like an x, up, and down arrow (or something like that) when you moused over the colored balls.
My wife and I were watching the movie Absalom. The one with Christopher Lambert and Lou Diamond Phillips. Near the end, the bad guy set up us the bomb, with the obligatory red LED timer. After checking the time, I told my wife, "Watch, the hero will stop it just as it reaches 3 seconds." She said they wouldn't use the trope that exactly.
But they did. Hero fights a bunch of minions, beats the bad guy, and turns off the bomb... and the timer says: 00:03.
The missus started throwing popcorn and pillows at me.
In complete honesty: it's pure nonsensical technobabble. 99.5% of the terms are made up, and the remaining. 5% is used in completely wrong context. It's a good joke, though.
It's a really resourceful sub for when you get into it. Anybody can start with it and it's super fun to indulge. I suggest reading up Fiakhlovish for starters if you're interested.
kroppeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can we also get a sreen where blured code looking data is appearing letter by letter and scrolling down.
Also have the data repeat every ten seconds even though each line is thirteen seconds onscreen
YoilyL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:58 on January 5, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐ Oh, where's the double-upvote button when you need it ...
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:36:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
antonivs ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 13:55:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is where the term "use case" comes in handy.
"Uh, what's the use case for this feature?" is much more polite than "Why are you asking us to add this pointless bullshit, you incompetent dipshit?", even though technically, they both mean the same thing.
Your manager is lucky to have found an engineer with enough know-how to understand the more-is-better approach in the completely trivial problem of bottleneck conditions and the fourth dimension in general
Gavcradd ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 11:23:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. Programmer here (ex industry, not in teaching). I remember at least one project with a "loading" progress bar that did absolutely nothing despite slowing down the program opening. Literally a timer that updated a bar in 5% increments, displaying a new "loading xyz", "initialising abc" message every so often. Why? Because client.
I'm a programmer and when I was in school everything had to make sense and we needed to explain everything. We were working on an interdevice game where you could use any smartphone's webbrowser as a controller for a game played in another webbrowser. At some point we needed a good way to show the controls without adding more steps for the user, so we added a loading screen that explained the controls but actually didn't load a thing. In the background the game would be sitting there ready and paused. If I remember correctly we borrowed this from some mainstream games that sometimes do this.
Solkre ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:53:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... a Maxis game?
mmarkklar ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:37:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Though in my case it was to stop people from complaining that the programm crashed.
Telinary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can be nice to see something change just to know the program isn't hanging or anything. Though progress bars that actually are a decent indicator for how long is left are nice instead of "20% this is taking a whileโฆ now it just went through like 30% in a few seconds but then stopped at 50% for like 10 minutes."
bendy3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager here.
I had a website that did deliveries where they wanted to add a custom 30 minute countdown whenever a user placed an order. It would always be a 30 minute countdown and had nothing to do with the actual delivery. It took all my effort to convince the client of how stupid of an idea that was.
Just an fyi, if the client is dumb. We know and weโre sorry.
Gavcradd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:05:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. A local takeaway place has a countdown timer like that for their deliveries. It has no connection to the actual delivery, sometimes it's much earlier, sometimes much later. Last week, my son (aged 7) sat staring at the screen and telling us all that the food would be here in x minutes. We all played along, knowing it wouldn't be on time. When it said 30 seconds to go, my son rushed to the front door... and the delivery guy was there.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day!
kamyll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:33 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This could be very legit design. The user is willing to wait way longer without complaining if anything, even slightly interesting is going on screen.
I write log screens for long running processes. I add an entry at the top of each sub or function so I can tell roughly what the program was doing when it crashed. It also dumps error codes and only saves the log if it detects a problem.
nemec ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 10:49:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa now, everyone knows progress bars are falsehoods meant to give users a feeling of control over something absolutely out of their control.
30%: 28 seconds
31%: 27 seconds
32%: 26 seconds
33%: 4 hours
86%: 2 minutes
100%: 5 seconds*
*continues for 5 minutes at 5 seconds left
me1505 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 10:55:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Otherwise you wouldn't know if it had died again to be fair. Less accurate progress, more 'I'm still alive'. Also, if it breaks down the process into lots of little bars, you have a better idea when it died.
You can never trust progress bars though. When they stall for ages, is the program dead? Is it still alive but taking a long time? That glow scroll thing is still glowing and scrolling, but the progress bar hasn't ticked in 4 hours, I think it's dead...
DoxBox ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:12:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the moment you click the cancel button, it goes up a tick before stopping.
Oh but even worse, you try to cancel the damn thing and it locks up the entire program, so you have to kill it and it's 28 sub-processes with Process Hacker. This then corrupts all the files it was working on, which means you basically have to delete everything and start again.
I am not a fan of broken progress bars.
Bainos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:16:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the halting problem is actually caused by our inability to make good progress bars ?
My biggest pet peeve about modern operating systems is that they even have to state 100%. If it were 100%, you wouldn't need to tell me that. Just do the thing. Don't tell me you did the thing without actually showing me it.
I love the Internet Explorer progress bar. When you open a page, it moves to 50%, and by then it has an estimate of how the rest of the page will load. Most of the time - with high speed internet available - it would just speed up to 100% or maybe 95% if some image or script takes longer.
It starts to get more interesting if the page doesn't load at all. It still goes to 50%. If nothing has happened, it proceeds really slow. If something happens, it goes to 75% at half speed, etc. It didn't tell much about actual things loading. Most of the time it was just something to give people the impression that something was happening.
Varonth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the progress bar showing when it went through all faces (meaning it's almost useless) or when it found the correct face? If the latter is the case, why did it go through all those other faces if it already knew the correct one?
pa_dvg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man at one of my old jobs I had been working for months on a real โjack up the houseโ style refactor, adding something completely new that the original entrenched system was definitely not designed to handle. At demos would explain all the complicated backed stuff that was happening and the business people sat there with their eyes glazed over.
Then one day I slapped a progress bar on the page when I was feeling bored and people fucking applauded at the demo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That part is definitely realistic
ZergTDG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God that made me laugh and I really needed it today, thanks man.
Can we get at least one progress bar, ideally not connected to any kind of progress?
Well that one comes default with any microsoft product, so its included.
otakuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we get at least one progress bar, ideally not connected to any kind of progress?
That's what spinners are for.
Nerdn1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's basicly how progress bars work. If a human doesn't have a visual indicator of progress, they become agitated and may terminate a process prematurely. The indicator need not refer to anything real.
Some mates of mine work for a company that does Automated Fingerprint Identification Systems (AFIS). They had to add the rotating fingerprint image to the search screen because the people in law enforcement that decide which company to spend tens of millions of dollars with are really fucking dumb. They just slapped together an animated GIF and called it a day.
The only time you would ever do this or the slide show of non-matches is if you're doing research on the algorithms used. These kinds of animations are super helpful in understanding what's going on. Some, like neural net connection weights, are also fun to watch (neural net weights learning over time looks almost like a lava lamp).
The vectors make it feel like a debugging feature the devs added to make sure the vectors were mapping to the right features and forgot to turn off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best vector animation is the one in James bond that he then projects, rotates, and it turns into a map of the london underground...how the hell are oyu indexing data at that point?
As long as it is made of 7 green lines that are all perpendicular to each other. Of the 7 green perpendicular lines, 3 must be drawn on the screen using only green pixels, 3 must be drawn using only red pixels, and 1 must be in the shape of a kitten, not a cat but a kitten.
But itโs 2017. I can understand back in the 80โs and 90โs people wanting to sensationalize the technology to make it seem more interesting. But shows today still do this, and Iโm expected to believe that these people live in parallel universes where mice donโt exist, and Microsoft and Apple apparently never invented their operating systems.
Just write the show such that the tech isnโt the star. No need for unrealistic eye candy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:26:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why though? I thought in general the algorithm was already trained to pick the "right"/most distinguishing eigenvalues/vectors on multiple thousands of faces. Before the actual matching process. And how would a user recognize the "best" facial traits the algorithm should use?
So in your mind it makes perfect sense to train an algorithm to find features that distinguish people from each other, because humans are really bad at finding those. Then have it verified by a human each time even though the features that are used will be the ones that the already trained algorithm "found"?
malstank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs called adjudication. And it is a step of one to many facial recognition verification.
K3R3G3 ยท 474 points ยท Posted at 09:57:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: "And there needs to be lots of beep-boop sound effects so they know it's working."
Programmer: "Doesn't the display of faces and code let them know it's working?"
Project Manager: "You know what? I forgot, can we some how make 'shortcut keys' to allow them to pass through the text as if they were swimming in a wet pussy of data?"
Programmer: "what's a wet pussy?"
Phantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:53 on January 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer: "Doesn't the display of faces and code let them know it's working?"
Project Manager: "That's actually my screensaver."
Tl;dr of situation: there was a report about some polish programists and they asked one of them to show how he writes the code. He said it's retarded and pointless, they told him they don't care, so he just did this.
TLema ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:05:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His code is so good it's even rhythmic.
jamesaw22 ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 10:16:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that there are comments in this. #1 priority when you're injecting a trojan with an anti-firewall logic bomb containing a polymorphic virus payload is to leave comments so other hackers can understand your code in six months time.
The code on that site is not random or gibberish, it's the Linux kernel source so of course there are going to be comments...
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 10:35:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you want to face the wrath of angry emails from Linus.
jamesaw22 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 10:56:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel as if you may have missed the joke here. If the website was called pretendtobewritingthelinuxkernalsource.net then I wouldn't be making a joke about the comments. And yet, it's not.
newocean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard... when i hit one key, and it typed "struct"....
Artess ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 09:36:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question. Sometimes when I'm installing or updating software the console window randomly pops out, shows a few lines of text and disappears before I can read anything. What's up with that?
Or just a regular command line program that doesn't require any standard input and finishes very fast. Common area of confusion for newbie programmers, since they end up thinking their code doesn't work when in fact it's just finishing very fast.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 10:01:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its usually a secondary process that is kicked off by the installer. I have done it in my last project at work to update configuration settings after the installation is complete.
Under normal working conditions that probably means nothing. But when there's a failure or some other issue/warning, it'll probably show the error log on the console window.
Or it's installing a virus. Fuck if I know what's happening on your machine.
Malware is probably better coded. Since, you know, it's designed to evade detection, while commercial software wants to sound the EVERYTHING IS OKAY alarm every 5 seconds.
TheLordB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Malware tends to be very clever, but not all that great from a software design standpoint. Yea a malware dev would prefer not to show the script screen, but if it is necessary to bypass things they are going to show it. They also aren't going to be testing their software under every possible hardware/software configuration and a say 50% failure rate that bricks the computer while not ideal is probably acceptable if they can't find another way to do it.
Sovereign state level hacking may have higher standards, but your average malware developer just cares about how many machines they infect little else.
Colopty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:56:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of malware is hacked together by people who aren't all that good though, and is thus terribly coded.
Really simply put: Win32 gui application vs console application. A console application requires no user interface and a console must pop up while it runs. See https://stackoverflow.com/q/574911.
Well, 9/10 times its to do something with a batch file which cannot be done with the installation script. But its mostly bad practice and often something hacked in to make it work or work around some bug they have been having.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started seeing it pop up once in a while. Then I turned on some shit that logged processes opening and closing.
Turns out it was a windows service that I halfway disabled and it was just trying to do it's job but I had crippled it.
Oh that can also be the case, but I mostly see it when installing software that is pretty cheap or games that aren't AAA quality. Like it needs to execute some installer but cannot do that directly or whatnot (because of the limitations of their install script) and went around doing it with a console
Tarzoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:48:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use a HMI application and in that software I can only use Javascript. I have a script that creates a bat-file and a vbs-file containing my main script. The bat-file is then launched and it in turn launches the vbs. All this to avoid showing the console window. Fml.
Colopty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone fucked up and made a script run in the foreground, probably as a result of a hacked together attempt at making something else work. Kinda annoys me because my curiosity means I want to know what it said. Having a log of those random windows would be pretty neat.
And the background should have a random glowing grid pattern, also the software should run on a proprietary โcool lookingโ OS that does t look like a standard OS.
hacking requires at least 7 screens full of scrolling code
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow Ive never been able to replicate scrolling lines of code even for the luls. Output either dumps out all at once or the output rate would be too slow and inconsistent :/
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I first started learning to code (with Python) the thing that surprised me the most was just how inaccurate that "scrolling code" thing is. It's not that the actual scrolling is inaccurate. It's this: what with loops and defining functions and classes, over 70% of my code is dedicated not to the actual program I'm trying to write, but instead to making the other 30% work as intended.
I expected that I would write 3 pages of code, and the computer would then execute those 3 pages from top to bottom, like the readouts in movies. Instead, I would write 3 pages of code, and then the computer would skim through it and execute the last 2 paragraphs of that code over and over again with different variables, occasionally referring back to the other 70% of what I'd written. And then of course it turns out I'd missed a fucking semicolon somewhere and the whole thing is trash until I find it.
Back in junior high computer class a friend and I would pull up cmd, change the type color to green, and run the tree command repeatedly. We got told off a couple times for that...
splettnet ยท 4980 points ยท Posted at 07:56:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to report a bug. I ran your software and received a match almost instantaneously. It did not appear to be cycling through anything at all. Please advise.
This will be fixed in version 1.02b. Even if it finds a match straight away, it will do the slideshow for at least a minute and make some beeping noises. It might delay law enforcement from catching some murderers but hey.
poopellar ยท 1216 points ยท Posted at 10:32:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have also noticed that there is no possibility of receiving an ACCESS DENIED warning that would fill up the whole screen in a bright red font . Don't know why it would be needed but it just doesn't feel right without it.
Honestly, making an easily found witness protection identifier sounds exactly like something the government would do, without realizing. They once released classified names with a black bar placed over the text in microsoft word.
That actually would be preferable to inserting, "invalid ID" in size 8 font somewhere three screens up from the submit button with no other visual indicator that the submit button actually clicked.
ssnazzy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also could you add a feature where itโll sort of match someone for the most part but itโs missing just a little bit, that requires a side mission undercover work to seduce someone to get their DNA from fingerprint as well? My episode has limited commercials.
I know we're all having a laugh, but quick serious response from a film person: stupid stuff is in films because it just works on a psychological level and feels wrong without it. When you watch a movie it's easy to dismiss these audio/visual cues as something stupid, but you never quite realize just how much they work until you're in the editing room and get to watch a version of the film without them.
It's really apparent when you're still new and learning, and you're editing a scene and can't quite figure out why it just feels so fake and off. Then it hits you that you forgot some stupid audio/visual cue that makes no sense in reality, but somehow completes the scene and makes it feel real.
People are seriously stupid sometimes. I've sat in an editing room thinking, there's no way they're not gonna pick up whats going on here, only to have five producers say they didn't understand any of it.
Makes me think of this one scene in THE ROCK. Granted, not a very smart movie, but I've watched it a couple of times nontheless, and only during the fifht viewing I noticed Ed Harris is standing in front of a tombstone early in the movie, and the tombstone reads: HIS WIFE. It says sp, right on this poor ladies grave: HIS WIFE. And I seriously never noticed, even though I work in film.
I looked it up, and it was just too brilliant not to share. That's an example, though, of something that really is just stupid, but to the point where it might just be a visual gag by someone in production. I know I'd be high fiving myself for eternity if I managed to get that into a multimillion dollar blockbuster. Although, on the flip side, there are some dumbass producers that ask for dumbass things.
There it is! Not exactly as I remembered but still: I laughed my ass off when I finally noticed that. I agree that it's pretty stupid, but it is a nice example for what you can get away with before anyone notices.
On a sidnote, I believe that dealing with dumbass producers is about half of my entire job.
"You're sure this is what you want the tombstone to say boss?"
"Of course I'm sure, if I need you to do my job I'll let you know."
"No problem at all, just making sure. Can I get your signature on these forms please?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:10:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fantastic. I wonder if it didn't originally have a dual inscription that was cut for budget reasons. That's the only thing I can think of that makes any sense.
Depends a lot on the intention. By definition, an Easter egg is something that is intentionally placed in the film(or other medium such as video games) that's meant to be found. If it's just a goof of some sort due to miscommunication or just some idiot along the way then it would just be a goof.
bsbbtnh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But when you're in the editing room, you've watched the thing a thousand times. You know all the twists and turns, all the little details. If 5 producers aren't picking up on it, it isn't necessarily that they're stupid, it could just be that the film was poorly edited.
Oh for sure, I meant people are stupid sometimes in a general way, as in: we're all pretty daft sometimes, including myself Dafter than you'd think sitting in an editing room anyway. If I think something's very clear because I've seen it a thousamd times, but five people don't pick it up, I did something wrong, obviously.
As an app designer, people certainly are. I think something is so obvious and then Iโm sitting there watching 3 failed user tests because no one can figure out how to swipe to the next page properly.
Its super common in Linux though, whwre often its all programmers, and programmers with certain, personality quirks. You will get some god awful UI that often requires cryptic commands or pressing 4 random keys at once that may change completely in every update. Because its people who absolutely dont understand even the basic idea of UI making it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:56:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we're looking for plausible reasons, it's possible this was a plot reserved for his family. He might have a future spot right next to hers, and his inscription would include "her husband" or similar.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:08:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's just for entertainment value. It's like electronic slot machines. The outcome is predetermined as soon as you press the button but the lights and random pictures make it suspenseful and fun.
Also I think a programmer putting a dumb feature like that at the request of the customer is much more likely than the programmer saying, "No I won't do that, take your money and leave."
This reminds me of my first year reading computer science at university. We had to create a game with Java and most people were putting a splash screen before loading the game, as you do. However the splash screen class was part of the game so Java had loaded everything that was needed to run the game so the splash screen was unnecessary and even never showed up, so they started adding delays to make sure it appeared. No one figured out to use Java's reflection to make the splash screen appear as fast as possible and then instantiate the game from there.
incnorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one figured out to use Java's reflection to make the splash screen appear as fast as possible and then instantiate the game from there.
Haven't written Java in ages, (this was sometime in 2005/6) but if I remember correctly reflection allows you to create instances of a Class resolved at runtime and not compile time, so with the splash screen example the compiler doesn't know ahead of time which other classes to load.
Java's great, and it's probably what I'm most proficient at, but it doesn't have the performance required for something like games imo. Im just surprised they're using Java in that context.
In the context of a game for a university project, you likely don't need that much performance. I'd agree that for commercial games a different language would more likely be used (for speed and also for much better game libraries). Saying that, Minecraft is written in Java, so it is possible.
The learning Java bit is completely fine for a Comp Sci major, but Im just surprised at making a game in it, since it's not a great choice for that kind of thing.
Eh, it was fine for my AP-CS course. I made a 2D battle game. Nothing fancy, Java was fine. I'm sure if I needed high-performance 3D graphics with a physics engine I'd have to look elsewhere, but for a classroom final project it's fine.
Tyg13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:52 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In 2016 every single one of my first semester comp sci projects was game-related and the entire class was done in Java. Things don't change much in the software world, at least, not quickly.
sw1sh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say this like it's a joke, yet in the software I work on people don't believe that it can do a search as quickly as it does, so we literally have a settimeout() call when doing a search so it shows the "Searching..." page for at least two seconds...
We need more from this software! We needed to identify a wrinkle pattern beneath a suspects ear, but werent able to pull a interactive 3D photorealistic hologram in order to do so, please just get it done.
And while youโre at it, limitless enhancement triggered by zooming the hologram would be nice to have.
Irrelevant, the software will never be used to catch a murderer anyway. That will be down to a relateable detective figuring something out in their head.
You joke but Iโve had to do this for someone who simply didnโt trust the fact that a thousand transactions in a bank statement could be parsed in less than a second.
โWhat do you mean itโs done, it finished too quickly it must have made a mistake somewhereโ
...So I solved it with one line:
Threading.Thread.Sleep(10000)
And everyone was happy again
Harakou ยท 237 points ยท Posted at 10:33:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
_cortex ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 11:40:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh, now link the one where they had to fit their whole application into 4MB, and then after they couldn't find any more optimizations the boss deletes his 2MB dummy buffer
ezylot ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 12:28:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that "free memory buffer" idea is genius! Just make sure to communicate it to everyone so they don't start turning your game into minecraft aesthetics.
Intentionally misrepresenting a material fact that somebody is meant to rely on and in fact does rely on to their detriment is the definition of fraud. So this activity does look unlawful.
There are of course also contractual issues; assuming the employment contract includes a clause prohibiting anything like this, it would potentially be a breach of contract as well.
It would also possibly be cause to be fired. So while it might not provide a cause of action, this could have legal consequences to the extent that the employer can legally fire them without any sort of compensation, even if they had a severance package in their contract, for example. So while not unlawful per se, legal consequences flowing from this action could have material ramifications, essentially turning employer actions from unlawful to lawful, which has some of the same effects as turning the employees actions from lawful to unlawful.
There may be other legal issues there. But yeah, these are at least a few problems off the top of my head.
I worked for a car finance broker for a few years as their in house designer. We had tech that instantly checked an applicant's credit against all the lenders we had on the system so we could match them without leaving a credit footprint.
Talking to the lead developer, going through the spec of the site, he mentions they've put a "please wait" loading screen for a few seconds after the application has been submitted, because customers didn't believe it could do it all instantly and they wanted to show they were being "careful" with their credit information or some shit.
As much as we advertised we had an amazing proprietary system that gave instant results, it turned out that people just think you're lying if it's that fast ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
anothga ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:42:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah so every time you apply for credit it leaves a trace that a company has checked your credit file and too many searches on your file will impact a lenderโs decision on whether they will give you credit (among many other factors). This is what I refer to as the credit footprint.
The company I worked for (and almost all other brokers these days) did a โsoftโ credit search which got all the info they needed to match the customer with the right provider, but wouldnโt be seen by lenders and therefore wouldnโt impact your credit at all, so they could say to the customer โyouโre matched with lender x and lender y, and you should expect to pay z% interest on the loanโ. If the customer wanted to go forwards, theyโd then be fully searched but you have a bit more peace of mind that you should get the loan that youโre expecting.
Sorry long answer haha ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yeah it can be. I think the takeaway is that credit is pretty messed up everywhere, and you should only really apply for a loan or card if you know you can pay it off โบ๏ธ and donโt spam applications everywhere because itโll bite you on the ass
What do you mean by similar system? Most of Europe forbids anybody but banks from accessing a person's credit situation and history, only as part of the process of granting a new loan or consolidating, and it doesn't carry any penalties.
There isn't a credit "score" as such, but the authority that centralizes this information knows how much you're currently making (it gets reported directly from employers) and what loans you currently have, and there are even laws that say you can't indebt yourself over a certain percentage of what you're making. That's actually one of the main goals of the system.
Getting a little beyond the point of the original post but thought Iโd say I agree mostly. That being said, there are so many people in debt beyond what they could ever afford, and itโs something I really believe should be part of the curriculum for teenagers to learn about the world of credit before they find themselves in debt.
Though there isnโt a โscoreโ there are factors that influence lenders/banks from granting a loan based on things like how long youโve been at your address, if youโre registered to vote, how often you ask for credit and how well you pay back the credit you already have. Any of these things can result in higher interest rates or not getting a loan at all.
Gaethan ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 11:38:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, you can raise it slightly every time there's a feature update, so they'll think the new features are making it slower. Then you can reduce it in a "performance update".
I'm not programmer but I always assumed those waits when searching from the travel sites are fake.
Can you confirm this for me?
tdave365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same reason that some phone voice control systems include a "bubbling noise" while fetching transaction data or looking up some bit of information, I have to imagine.
We've all had those moments where we had to check to make sure it actually did something because no way it finished that fast.
Sickamore ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are a flawed, stupid, shitty species.
7HawksAnd ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 11:12:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a joke, but thatโs what Facebook does with their newsfeed.
They are able to pull accurate most recents right away, but they found users kept refreshing the feed because they didnโt believe that first load was accurate.
That shimmer empty state load thing it does? They fake it so people will believe theyโre actually searching for the most up to date results.
I don't know about the shimmering thing, but I don't believe the state I'm looking at is correct because it's often not correct.
Just yesterday I was watching a private group for some scheduling-related comments I expected to see. After an hour, I hit reload, just to be sure, and was greeted with 3 hours worth of missed comments that had never loaded. Even the red update number in the header bar hadn't appeared. I'd been listening to internet radio the whole time, so I know my connection was good.
If they want me to stop hitting Reload all the time, they're going to have to make it reliable.
Dent18 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:08:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook's news feed is such bullshit. There's so much clutter and predicative suggestions and overthinking
I feel that they also wanna show it off. It does look good as a loading screen, and id want users to see it if I spent a bunch of time looking at it.
The loading icon I made for my app is awesome imo and I have it stay for a minimum of half a second. Facebooks is longer, and maybe they had an exact reason for their amount of time it loads
When I was in highschool we joined a game coding competition and one of the requirements was to put the organizers logo somewhere in the game, so we put it on loading screens. Except the pixelated graphics and a few audio files loaded almost instantly, so we had to add a delay so the loading screen would show for at least a second.
Jsdo1980 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:27:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it with users and saying "please advise" I swear with my last company every single bug report ended with it.
mith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We write modeling and simulation software and this is one of the complaints from our managers. He doesn't feel comfortable demonstrating the software to potential customers because it runs too fast. The people we're dealing with are used to very detailed models that take a long time to run. If they can't get up and go get a cup coffee while the model's running, then it must not be doing anything but spitting back demo data. And the manager doesn't know enough about what's going on to explain how we're able to process so much data so quickly.
We solved this problem by adding a wait screen and timer with compile flags for him, so he's got the only version that takes at least a minute to run.
If you don't want to be dead inside, read up on some real product design literature. I recommend The Design of Everyday Things, and the Apple Interface Guidelines circa 2007 when they still knew what they were doing.
In my experience, all engineers have read those books. That's why we feel dead inside, because we know it can be better. The problem is how to get our managers to read them.
I had one manager who had "Mythical Man-Month" on his desk, and claimed he'd read it, but that it didn't really apply any more, and we didn't need any of its lessons, anyway, since he was a SCRUM MASTER!
Gee, if the delay before showing results was supposed to be a particular time interval, maybe you should have put it in the spec. Lacking any specific guidance in this case, I went with the industry standard.
"That way they can't see my loading animation"
Then it's not a loading animation, is it? That was rather poorly named, so perhaps you can see why I was confused. What you actually designed was a "make users wait for no reason" animation.
"You can't show the message immediately. You need to make it fade in and bounce"
Which requirement number was this? It's not in there? Ah, so my implementation is correct, and you're changing the specification on us at the last minute. Got it.
I don't see that in the acceptance criteria. You'll have to open a new story and describe the value that it adds... can't explain the value? Story ain't ready, it's not going in the sprint.
guanzo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, instantaneous results can be very jarring. If itโs too fast, it can look like nothing happened at all. Sometimes Iโll intentionally make something load for one second, to make the user understand that something is actually happening.
Yeah, I'm not complaining this part. My job is to make things run smoother, faster and easier to use. Making the user aware something changed and didn't appear from nowhere is good practice.
But this guy animations were like 3 or 5 seconds and I had to play it all before showing the results. An alert had to blink, move, fade and shot sparkles.
He was pretty old school. I've seen his portfolio and it was full of flash websites with loading screens. With HTML5 he wanted to put everything he could to make it "looks dynamic", so there was a lot of parallax, background videos, heavy transitions, things bouncing everywhere...
He was like "Look at the Apple website. When you scroll, the iPhone moves. Let's do it." but instead of an object smoothly moving in background it had to spin, change shape, blink like neon lights and make the text flow around it. All at the same time.
PM: hey build a thing that does a thing kthxbye
Programmer: K, here's a working thing
PM: (on vacation)
UX Designer: So this software is a little too good, our test users are not confident that it's actually analyzing faces.
Programmer: Whatever, I can throw a progress bar in?
UX: Eh maybe a flashy spinner. But also, the user really needs a satisfying visual representation...
Programmer: ... of how the algorithm works or ... ?
UX: mmm, no, more like how they think it works.
Programmer: So just cycle through an array of random blurry faces under a random spinner?
UX: Exactly - and throw in some sound and particle effects for good measure, I'll loop in the UI designer.
Programmer: This will all slow down the software.
UX: Even better
yehmum ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or respect your own input and tell them it's a bad idea.
If the manager respected my input, they wouldn't have gone off and designed a complete (shitty) system on their own and dropped it in my lap at the last minute.
The kind of manager who does this in the first place is the kind of manager who will respond to that with "Well, I'm the manager, and you're just the programmer, so build it my way."
Definitely part of your job to speak up and tell your boss when you see a better way to do something. Also part of your job to suck it up and do it his way when he turns your idea down. You won't last long in any job if you can't do the second part.
yehmum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer thinking: This is the dumbest thing I've heard all year. My dog could design a better system than this clown. Well, I don't want to get fired today, so let's try to phrase this in a way that's more tactful than "You're an idiot." I'll offer a way out that lets everyone save face!
Programmer speaking: OK, seems fine, but are you sure about this part? Maybe it would be better if we did it a different way. The engineering team could brainstorm some ideas...
Manager thinking: ???
Manager speaking: Yes, absolutely I'm sure, let's do it my way!
Sorry, Marketing did their research and found users liked it when it did that pointless task.
(the amount of UI design driven by marketing makes me sad)
mattmu13 ยท 1146 points ยท Posted at 10:12:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I built a brute-force hash cracking program at a place I used to work that opened up an offline file from the client, took some configuration options and then worked through all the possibilities.
It was more of a "I wonder if I could" moment to see what would happen and how long it would take rather than needing to do it for work.
It was pretty fast but looked really boring so I included an option to have the hashes and guesses flash up on the screen to make it look like the films.
Looked much nicer but slowed the whole thing way down.
Edit: I know there are lots of ways to speed it up, like separating threads and only showing nth guesses. I could have even updated it for parallel computing but there was no point as it was made as a testbed and replaced with an alternate method a couple of days later. Thank you for taking an interest though and providing ideas on how to improve the concept.
[deleted] ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 10:31:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mattmu13 ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 10:36:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could have optimised the program in lots of ways but ended up finding quicker ways around the problem than brute-force. Still, it was fun to see what would happen.
I built an Arduino device for a school project, 50% of the code was just for the scrolling through random letters to replace the asterisk effect on the title screen...
mattmu13 ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 12:26:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's always fun to make it look like the movies. I read an article a while back that covered how humans perceive time and that sometimes software responses needed to be slowed down so the user would believe something was actually happening rather than a fault.
Even as a developer I've had this happen to me. I go to download a file and it's done without seeing any progress bar or estimated time and I go check thinking I've downloaded a 404.html page or something instead of the actual file.
Ossyrial ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 13:10:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As pointed out by someone else in this thread, Facebook does the same. If you reload your feed, FB can instantly show accurate results. However, users didn't believe that these were accurate and up-to-date, so Facebook added a useless loading thing on your feed, so users were more convinced that the data was more up-to-date.
812many ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:45:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For old game handheld games, saving your game was at the speed of instantaneous because there was so little data. We put in a little animation and the message โdonโt remove cartridgeโ even though there was no way you could hit the button and remove the cartridge faster than it could save. Made everyone feel better.
Funnily enough, the WR speedrun of the original Pokemon games requires resetting/taking out the cartridge at a specific point during a game save to corrupt some of the memory.
To be fair, this one is bounded by your connection and hard drive so it's actually reasonable to expect a noticeable delay.
mattmu13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...but when you go from slow broadband to a fiber connection and download the same size files and they're done instantly it can sometimes take a while to get used to.
EcoSlaves ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 11:57:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you know that? He doesn't say what language or platform he used.
Illusi ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:07:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it slowed the thing down you probably showed too many guesses. The trick is to show only 1 in 100 or so randomly. By selecting randomly you get a bit of erratic scrolling too which looks better than constant regular intervals. So, give every try a 1% chance of being displayed on the screen.
mattmu13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was just loading the hash/pass guess into fields rather than scrolling, but yeah, I could have taken every nth guess to speed things up.
If it had have been worth it I would have spent time optimising the program but I found an easier method so it was just a testbed that didn't last long.
I wrote a script once that had to analyze coordinate data from eye-tracking software, filter out useless data and "clean up" the rest, but it could take minutes on longer recording sessions, during which my computer would freeze up. After being berated several times for just sitting around while the computer did its thing, I changed it up so it would show, green text on black background, everything in the buffer, super-fast matrix scroll, while I looked at it knowingly sipping my coffee. Wasn't bothered again after that.
mattmu13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what those annoying circular loading animation things are for ;-p
Worked on a radio data transfer thing a few weeks ago.
To debug, we made it show the binary data that came across the wire so we could verify the whole thing got through error free.
Tried sending an image with that option still turned on. Entered the matrix.
Now Inimagining these cop shows where they say it will take a few days to run the test. Then the cop is like "What if we turn off the picture scroll" and its done in 2 minutes.
psi- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a course at the university and the prof seemed really bright. This was somekind of O-notation+ -course, maybe algorithms & stuff one and he was demoing us the difference between difference between sorting algos. He somehow ended up coding stuff live while starting the demos and I saw that his examples ran slow; like even his laptop should've done the stuff real fast. What he was doing he was using ANSI terminal codes to format his printouts (rewrite previous output) which probably obscured how much he was doing output.
Anyways, even small amount of output will fuck up all and any algorithm speed measures because at that time program leaves it's kernel-granted timeslot and yields it to kernel which gives the "print message" to other process that actually does the output (even graphical if we're rxvt or somesuch). When printing is done, the program might not get its timeslot back and will have to wait until all other contenders are done.
Yeah, boredom drives exactly that. I wrote a BOGO sort, threw in 10 random numbers, had each attempt print out its guess, and just watched the lines fill up for a few minutes. Rudimentary, sure, but fun.
IllHeir ยท 1513 points ยท Posted at 07:47:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, if there is a photo and the picture is not clear, saying ENHANCE should make that pixelated bitch so clear that you can see every single pore on their face.
ganlet20 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If criminals are going to repurpose 1970s era spaceships to fly to Jupiter to recover some buried plutonium. Then I have no problem with the police having 3d security footage they can rotate.
PS, I'd love a customer implementation of the "frisk" feature.
Then extrapolate the mirror image in the guy across the roadโs glasses to see the number plate on the front of the car.
jamesaw22 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 10:20:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the mirror image in the guy across the roadโs glasses to see the distorted reflection of the number plate, in the door panel of that van, on the front of the car, which we can then programatically undistort and flip.
zeugma25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
cclloyd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:15:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It should serve the images on low resolution at first; that way when they tell "ENHANCE", it can serve the full resolution image.
happeloy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also to activate the enhance function, you should have to enter about three to five lines of random code. But not in a textview or any kind of visual feedback on what you are writing, just straight start writing code.
barsoap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually an "enhance" voice command in Photoshop would be useful when you just want to see what your image looks like with Adobe's smart filters automatically applied.
Friend of mine is a skydiver and was bitching about the wingsuit scene in the new Point Break being completely ridiculous. I told him "Welcome to every hacking movie I've ever watched." Though I was kind of impressed with Mr Robot when one of the guys uses find and routes stdout to /dev/null so it'll only print the error messages and tell him if there are any directories on the system he doesn't have access to, thus uncovering the evil rootkit. That's really a lot of attention to detail for a scene that lasts a few seconds and which would probably not be noticed even by most regular Linux users.
ehco ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 10:22:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr robot went out of its way to put this kind of detail into all the eps, just great work!
If that's the only thing you got out of that season then sure, it'll be a disappointment. Luckily for me at least, that's not the only thing I cared for in that season. In fact characters other than Elliot and Mr Robot have tendencies to be largely more interesting at times. Angela, Price and Whiterose are to just name but a few.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ehco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:15 on January 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's lucky I love fight club and would welcome a 10 hour version of it where the narrator was a socially anxious, drug addicted hacker. Plus, yknow, every season other than 1...
sageDieu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:33:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the guys that puts together all the tech sequences wrote a blog for most of season 3, here's one of my favorites:
ehco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:35 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just awesome, his blog is so detailed, many specific commands described, diagrams, the output that he spoofed and links to documentation to compare it to real world output! This blog is better documentation than pretty much every real world in-house system I've ever worked on lol!
Just don't try and be realistic IF YOUR NOT GOING TO BE REALISTIC.
This is why I vastly prefer magical explanations for zombies. If they tell me a mundane virus reanimates corpses to not require food, water, or shelter ever again, become violent with humans but peaceful with each other, and survive horrific wounds (again, basically indefinately) and being frozen "alive", then my brain will try to eat itself.
If the movie tells me magic did it, or is a comedy, rather than a serious attempt at horror, everything is kosher.
ThingYea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:36 on January 22, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But magic isn't realistic! /s
memeirou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They actual hired a real hacker to help them legitimize their hacking so they didnโt end up like NCIS
The wingsuit stunt was filmed 100% practically though, why did he find it ridiculous? Not charging in defense of that movie lol but I am curious about what his issues with that scene were.
Yeah, they did a reboot of it just recently. I didn't see it myself, but I hear it wasn't very good (And not just from my skydiving friend.)
otakuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The actors were trained to actually type the exact command line when doing some hack. The software would only recognize the correct command and display the scripted output when the actor typed the thing right.
Another wonderful detail in S1E1 was when he started calling customers to get their security questions. Social engineering has been neglected for a long time in hacking shows.
Studios do so much rendering these days that they are likely to have a few decent *nix gurus on staff so they can just ask them for some realistic shell commands.
vman315 ยท 846 points ยท Posted at 07:45:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sure why not let slow down the execution of the code by having it select and display random pictures while searching through a database of millions of faces for matches.
It's not like the CPU is doing much at that point.
vman315 ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 07:52:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a script that I ran at my old job to terminate accounts and users that were no longer with the company. It used to verbose everything that it did and I mean everything that it did, if it was searching for something in one of the systems or if it was modifying something it, verbose every single thing it did and it looks pretty sweet but it took about 2 minutes to execute and terminate 30 accounts. However whenever I disabled all verbose it executed in 45 seconds.
Needless to say I was completely surprised at that performance hit just from writing to console.
oppilonus ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 08:04:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give your boss version 1.0 then two months later tell him you increased productivity by over 100% and unveil 2.0
vman315 ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 08:05:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally could have done that, but I actually wrote that script for me nobody else in the company knows that it exists.
oppilonus ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 08:18:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"vman315, you're done already? here, do more stuff".
lukaas33 ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The advantage of people not having a clue how to do the stuff you do is that you can make it seem as simple or difficult as you want.
vman315 ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 08:43:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what I did. Because before me it used to be four different people doing all of it. The entire process by hand took about 20 minutes per person if they had access to all the user systems like desk phone, a voice mail, exchange mailboxes, a fax account, backing up all their personal data from the network, purging the data from the network, forwarding whatever they needed from their desk phones to maybe their email or rerouting their faxes, initiating a backup of their computer if it was on the network at the time, and one more thing but I can't remember what it is off the top my head.
Before I wrote this I literally had days where I did nothing but terminate people's access to systems and I mean days sometimes two maybe three or four if we lay off a few branches or whatever.
If I may ask, what business was your company in? I'm curious what line of work includes laying off entire branches not during extreme reforms, but as part of standard operations.
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:42 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mortgage lending.
voNlKONov ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:03:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just seems so horribly depressing/dystopian. Maximizing the efficiency of firing people. Yuck.
vman315 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:24:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but it is the same as being mortician basically. Someone has to do it.
qubist1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. The script that they are talking about isnโt actually doing the firing... those people were already getting fired, itโs just making it so people donโt have to do a bunch of repetitive labor to tell the systems they use that those people got fired.
Fuck that. Good work here is more work. Or what is taking you so long.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just start the process when you'd normally be 75% done manually. Saves enough time to get noticed, but not enough to receive more work. Also lets you fuck off the difference.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the only one doing the job and the only know who knows how to do it from start to finish. If you can make it easier for yourself without missing anything then you may as well.
I'd usually verbose my scripts but have them output to a logfile rather than console. It does help with runtime somewhat. I then cat or tail the logfile, if everything seems OK then I go about my business. Otherwise fix the script then re-run.
vman315 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:02:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After I saw the performance difference I made it log out to file instead of write to console, but I added a switch to write to console if I wanted to.
Welp. Do you happen to be my separated-at-birth twin brother?
This is how I usually log my stuff:
EDIT:
def my_logger(log_mssg, mode="all"):
if mode == "all" or mode == "console":
print log_mssg
if mode == "all" or mode == "file":
with open("/path/to/logfile", "a+") as f:
f.write(log_mssg + "\n")
moopet ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 10:04:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of animal abbreviates "message" to "mssg"?
To be honest, I never got to measure my approach (open logfile each time I wanna log) vs having the logfile open from the beginning of the script and close it on exception or script end, so I can't answer that yet... Interesting point though.
vman315 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:26:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I did was I made it a function that added to an array and on every I think it was 50th call of the function it dumped to the file, that way the memory usage didn't get too large from the array holding all that data and didn't have to continuously call that file to write to it.
sldyvf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:33:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an approach I didn't even think of... I was thinking,
Def get_file():
if(file_not_open) open file
return file
The reason why I did it my way is because I often like to tail -f the logfile and see what's going on real-time. This is kind of moot though, as I timestamp each line anyway, and could always open the file to compare timestamps between each logged action.
I'll be sure to try your approach when I get back to work. Thanks!
vman315 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, and mine did actually time stamp it to it put it into an array consisting of three things: timestamp, message type, message. I prefer to log mine in CSV or SQL.
Valmond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we know what you do with all that spare time...
To be fair, for lists with 2 members, it's effectively constant time (because your list isn't growing) so I'd go with what's more readable.
thoeoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do the same thing at our place, but with more options, we also have flags to log to database, and to a pop up window that the user must acknowledge.
And technically itโs not to console but a scrolling text box. We also have it take a debug/warning/error/fatal flag and build in some string format parameters. This is for something way more permanent than just scripts though.
Yep, misplaced them both. Log message is supposed to come first, then the logging mode switch. Then if I wanna log to both console and file, I'd simply do my_logger("The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog"). Should've copy-pasted them from one of my scripts, but oh well...
Jigsus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That also slows things down but not as much as console
Interactive IO is unbuffered (for obvious reasons). Thatโs a common pitfall for programs that write a lot to the Terminal. Some Terminal emulators are slow at word wrap and will delay your program even more. Funny, eh?
Basically, printing multiple lines out at once is faster than one at a time, so when you do cout (console output for printing to the console), C++ doesn't print it immediately and instead puts it into a buffer until it hits a newline or the flush command. Most people when writing code want to see the output as it's happening, so they'll feed endl (endline) into cout to force it to flush the buffer, which lessens performance. If you get rid of the endl in your code when it's out of development, you'll get a performance gain and everything will still be printed on the console.
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always ended my strings with a new line when doing output.
Printing to terminal requires cpu cycles usually since it's rarely handled by the gpu (or was rarely handled). Also the terminal application might have been stupidly coded.
Now take into account that you are rendering the screen in cpu and you might understand why it slows down progran execution even if it is just text scrolling by.
Another reason is invoking syscalls.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:26 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes I test different code; if I can tell the output is probably ok for a small sample and want to run a lot, I have to make it less verbose(at least until the results are displayed) because it takes so much longer to print to the console
Ever tried running a console script minimised vs visible? Or running a program in verbose mode vs silent mode? TTY outputs can slow down your program a lot, even on modern hardware.
Doctursea ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:18:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like when people are downloading the data of a computer and it shows literally everything itโs doing in real time on the screen. Iron man Iโm look at you bud
vman315 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:20:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of just a progress bar or percentage.
GreyouTT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:39:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every non-elevator loading screen in the Mass Effect series would wait for the animation to finish before going back into the gameplay, even if it was done loading before hand.
I hated that shit so much, especially in Mass Effect 2.
vman315 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:00:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it makes sense if you think about it, otherwise people would begin to wonder why sometimes the elevator was really fast and why it was really slow, which is not something you want if you want to conceal a progress bar or loading screen.
THIS so much. People love to rag on the elevator loading situations, but at least they were varying in length. Watching the whole load screen scene (that you've seen hundreds of times already) while the game have finished loading 5 seconds ago is just stupid.
I'm sure there was some fan fix of it, though.
Xalaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually really liked them, coming from someone who played 3 before 1. As you descended you got played bits of local news. It was also nice to just enjoy the scenery for a bit.
GreyouTT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually talking about the loading screens that weren't the elevators. I liked the elevator dialogue too.
I mean, if you think about it, those aren't random faces. When the program is checking for a match, it is presumably searching a database. Each entry has a face associated with it, so any face shown is probably something that was compared and discarded.
Retrieving and displaying the photo with each iteration is still kinda dumb though.
Defavlt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:15:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still isn't doing anything. Unless, well, they have their databases on just that single client. Uuugh...
It shouldn't be checking entries one-by-one. A proper database would have indexes to narrow down the results to relatively close matches before having to do further checking. It would get rid of most results before it even loads a single photo.
John_Fx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it isnโt actually looking at images unless the search algorithm was created by a moron.
John_Fx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just make a loading animation gif that cycles through the same faces each time.
thijser2 ยท 294 points ยท Posted at 08:16:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well sometimes showing stuff like this makes your user think your program is doing stuff rather than have crashed, in those cases this might not be a bad idea, as long as the extra work isn't slowing you down too much.
In real life the photo search program runs on a server across the country and the GUI has no access to its working data. Giving it access to rejected images would be a terrible lapse in security.
thijser2 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:18:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was more thinking in terms of just sending a few dozen default images and than letting it loop over them. If something goes wrong with the complicated search the relatively simple looping over say 50 images would not need to be affected.
812many ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pictures of arrest data and pictures is often public records, Iโd think. If the person has never been arrested, thereโs got to be lots of violations going on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, your program crashed. But here is a slide show of Hawaiian beaches to make up for it. Aloha aaa oooeeeeiii
First it's "every button does the same thing, just push anything" (implying the computers are fake), and then they go ahead and "hack" the system somehow.
It was good though, if you can suspend your disbelief.
The people using the software aren't necessarily the people buying the software
You can say that again. The number of times a manager has started out with good news everybody I have revamped our entire toolchain and then shown us some turd of a system is...well...worrying.
PM: when we get to this part of the mobile app, the user should see an alert box that has an โOption Aโ button and โOption Bโ button.
ME: sounds ok
PM: and a close box, because all the cool web apps have a close box on the alert
ME: wait - what? thereโs only 2 options. its a fork in the road. A or B.. thereโs no โgoing backโ.. what does the close box do?
PM: closes the alert.
ME: but what option does that mean?
PM: it closes the alert
ME: but. there are only 2 options - A or B. the close box is a third, undefined option. for 34 years, alerts get dismissed by descriptive buttons ONLY. what option does the close box represent?
PM: it closes the alert
ME: implements close box ONLY when I detect his user account.
Or more likely, because we're talking about movies it's a visual communication method to tell the audience, who may not even use a computer regularly, that several options are being considered as part of a search.
Honestly guys the spectrum is strong in these parts.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:32:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should also show cars with clear bodies to display gaudy exaggerated pistons firing away to turn a big exaggerated crank shaft and drive shaft clearly connected to the wheels. "Oh, now I get it! Technology demystified!"
The people using the software aren't necessarily the people buying the software.
This is the #1 root cause of virtually every problem in our industry, from kids with in-app purchases in their video games, to C-level execs playing golf with salesmen to decide what system the company is going to switch to next month, to advertising on social networks and search engines, to emissions control firmware in cars, to smartphones sold under a service contract.
When the incentives are aligned -- like someone buying a $20 indie game off Steam, or an employee buying a $50 desktop app they're going to personally use to do their job more effectively -- software tends to be pretty good, and the users don't tend to have issue with it. Or when they do, it's easy to fix, and the developers are happy to do so.
Unfortunately, people think of most software as invisible, so they think it ought to be zero-cost. That's not feasible, unless you find a clever way to hide the price from the user.
Figure out a way to solve this, and all the rest will sort itself out.
Nerdiator ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 09:40:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also it should make a bunch of bleep bloop noises every time it changes a picture, or wheb you type something. Cuz every fucking program has to make noises according to tv series.
I remember in my younger, more rebellious days I would have screamed, โNo Fโing way. Thatโs stupid. Thatโs not even how facial recognition works. Nobody would ever create a facial recognition search that had to display every non-match.โ
Now, as an older, wiser manager, I say, โWhat a great Fโing idea. Iโll shoot you over a change order for that and weโll bill you an additional 180 man hours. Plus weโre going to need a database of faces and a bunch of new graphical stuff. And it will require upgrading the hardware because what youโve got will be too slow and choppy so, figure another $10K in hardware.โ
The Project Managerโs boss calls and says, โHey, I just got an invoice for $150K for some facial recognition special effect!!! What the hell are you guys trying to do, rip me off?โ
And then I say, โNo sir. Not at all. Project Manager added a bunch of new requirements and weโre just billing you at cost for all of the extra work that he wants done.โ
Later that afternoon.
Project Manager calls, โHey, my boss wants to kill the facial recognition thing. Letโs just stick with the original plan.โ
Me, โReally?!?! Wow, that was going to be so killer. Anyway, weโll still have to bill you for the work weโve already done preparing but weโll stop everything right now.โ
Kronikarz ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 10:08:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if it always displays the closest match it has found SO FAR, the results would be pretty similar.
If it always displays the closest match so far, you'd see exponential decay in the frequency of updates. That would be neat, but I haven't seen any TV shows that did this.
warpfield ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 11:03:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The customer writhed in agony, demanding to know why he was tied up and being interrogated.
โItโs like this.โ the project manager said. โI was having a scrum meeting and the new guy tells me to blow myself. I ask why, and he says all this Agile stuff is bullshit. Itโll take two, three years to finish a game that should only take one. So I tell him, sure, we could design upfront but then it wonโt be what the client wants. So he says, you just tie the client down and beat him til he gives up the design instead of letting him change his mind every sprint. So here we are.โ
NukaWax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All those burn-down rates, and โAs a user I need to be able to do X so I need a feature Zโ is such a massive waste of time.
Nobody knows when the project will be done, but they have a hard deadline anyways.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:03:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In what universe is it a waste of time to get exact requirements from the people who are actually asking for and likely bankrolling the damn thing
NukaWax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my experience working with most clients the greater majority donโt really know exactly what they want. Some requirements are obvious, but nobody can really determine everything that needs to be done until you actually have a working prototype. Thatโs when you discover all the real issues you have to solve. Then you start testing it in the real world and find that everything you thought would work doesnโt and users really only need 10 features out of the 300 that the client asked for.
Many times clients want to build something they think will make them money without first determining if there is a need or a problem they can solve for users. So itโs my job, when working as a UX designer to figure out if what we plan on building will actually solve a real world problem for users. When I worked as a product manager it was my job to help the clients figure out what exactly they needed and make sure itโs something viable.
So in this universe I donโt fuck over clients by having my team develop software that will be useless for my clients; because, I actually give a fuck about them and donโt like wasting my teamโs time on stupid projects. If I behaved the way youโre suggesting I would just be wasting everyoneโs time and efforts. Why the fuck would anyone want to do that except if they are greedy.
The technician glared at her, snatched the photo out of her hand, and scanned it in. The machine chirped and tiny letters blinked at the top left hand corner of the screen.
WORKING
โIs it working?โ asked Jason.
The technician swiveled in her chair. โIt says working, doesnโt it?โ
โYeah, butโฆI imagined, you know, it'd be doing something more. Flashing faces on the screen or something as it goes through them.โ
โOr,โ said the technician, her tone gilded in sarcasm, โwe could dedicate that processing time to, you know, scanning more faces per second.โ
The machine sat there, quietly humming. Jason picked his teeth. โThis is boring.โ
โThis is my job. My work. Work is boring. Thatโs why they call itโฆwork.โ She snorted. โI mean, you think hacking is sitting down in front of a terminal, tapping a few keys, putting on some dark glasses and then saying, Iโm in?โ
โIโฆdonโt really know what itโs like.โ
โNo, you donโt. You donโt at all. It, too, is work. And very boring.โ
AEsirTro ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:19:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't we just both type on the keyboard at the same time, like Abby and McGee from NCIS?" asked Jason.
... this will take some time - characters turn to leave
... then -MATCH- flashes up
Got it!!!
rj14ng ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 12:49:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Image Transcription:
Project Manager: We're going to build a facial-recognition application.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: People will put in a photo, and it will search a database for matching faces.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: And while it's doing that, it should flash up, on screen, a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces which definitelyaren'ta match
Programmer: No that's stupid we're not doing that.
cob59 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:11:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And most of the time, the database doesn't contain actual face pictures but descriptors of those. Loading the original image for each database entry would be a real waste of memory and CPU.
In computer vision, visual descriptors or image descriptors are descriptions of the visual features of the contents in images, videos, or algorithms or applications that produce such descriptions. They describe elementary characteristics such as the shape, the color, the texture or the motion, among others.
Of course it wouldn't look them up in the DB, rather it would have a few faces loaded in memory at startup (essentially UI graphics), and those faces would cycle randomly.
Just do a shooting with a couple of the infortunate devs and you've got your sweet sample.
klezmai ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:05:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, the entire show is based on a faulty premise, and the show itself contributes to the problem:
In no study did the group of profilers outperform the other groups, and in some studies, they were clearly outperformed by both police officers and chemistry students. Despite these findings, members of the BAU continue to use psychological profiling. Public confidence in psychological profiling is also high and has been greatly promoted by TV shows such as Criminal Minds.
It's the CSI effect, but for social science. Everything about the show is bullshit. When you think about how bad their "IT babble" is, realize that's how little they care about truth, and that their babble about every other field is just as bad.
"Oh and, have a green wiremesh head rotate on a black background and make sure that you've got some bright red message that fills up the whole screen when the search is over. Make it a bit dramatic, you know like 'ANALYSIS COMPLETE 99.995% MATCH - SUSPECT IDENTIFIED'... I don't know man, you're the tech wizz."
JRabone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:41:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they keep doing it? I sad an episode of black mirror yesterday where they did a face search on a phone the same way it's described in OPs post...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:28:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't thought about it like that. It makes sense when you put it that way, I guess when you think about it it's kinda like when they force a padlock or a door on tv.
Exactly my point. I thought for once a show would be smart enough not to do it.
xantub ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:21:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: Make it so you have to enter lots of keyboard commands for it to work.
Programmer: Why? This version you just need to click once to upload the picture and once to press 'OK'.
Project Manager: Just do it!
Over at /r/tvdetails - someone posted about how Bob Newby in "Stranger things 2", who hacked a computer, actually used real 1980's era password cracking. A screenshot of what was on his screen was perfectly authentic and real. There were clicks of a keyboard, and no other bleeps and bloops or any computer science tv/movie tropes.
It was completely believable and I was fully immersed. You don't need bleeps and bloops and distractions and two people typing on a keyboard at the same time and silly jargon.
We have implemented a program it's task is to update a formula by changing different weights. As ml is involved we can't do it real time. As input is known we analyze data everyday and cache the results. Client doesn't believe this, so we have put a spinner which hides the result for few seconds.
I feel like you made this post because of the Black Mirror ep3 I saw last night. So much attention to detail but yeah let's run useless facial recognition code displaying all database faces. Literally only problem I had with that episode as it kind of ruined the believability.
pheffner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite true, and every explosive device is helpfully equipped with a VERY LARGE LCD countdown timer, possibly with boop sound effects!
Omg I thought I was the only one who thought about stuff like this ๐
PPMy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love Mr. Robot. Their hacking scenes is mostly realistic
Lots42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Detective shows are much more fun if you consider them 'alternate universe America'. Where like our Bill of Rights is four paragraphs long and all the judges are from the Simpsons and allow whatever insane crap sounds cool.
As an IT Professional, I quit watching detective shows after the infamous "two person hack" of CSI (or was it NCIS, I literally cannot tell the shows apart).
Now, the moment a TV show features hacking, I just turn it off. For good.
Do you mean "two dorks, one computer"? It was NCIS...and no matter how hard I try, I just can't get some of my family members to see how fucking silly that is. My dad compared it to when two people share a guitar...you know, an object which usually has 6 strings and ~19 frets. Compare that to a standard, full keyboard with about 100 keys (often 101-105). He doesn't seem to understand the two main problems with two people sharing a computer for inputs: complexity and dexterity. I have actually shared keyboards with people...because playing old DOS games that had lackluster/non-existent controller support, but still wanting to play multiplayer was totally a thing. That said, we would carve the keyboard in half, and we were each performing independent functions. My brother and I played Liero like this a lot back in like 1999.
Yeah, itโs the โscienceโ talk that makes the flash or arrow so unbelievable /s
Hieillua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can still have a larger than life concept and do the science in a believable manner. Like Agents of Shield does or Stargate SG-1 back in the day.
Stargate was about a group traveling through the universe through a wormhole. The writers could've been like, oh well this isn't realistic at all so lets just write bullshit totally insane science dialogue that makes zero sense. Nope, they didn't do that and actually researched and made the science quite believable on the show.
Agents of Shield has superhuman characters and they still bring them in a believable way because it's written well. That's all I'm asking for.
I can also come up with a show and make up totally bonkers rules and not hold myself onto those rules. Like a Flash also does. The Speedforce on CW's Flash is a mess. Next to that they don't even have any sense of logic. A thug runs out of a room and the fastest man alive is like oh well, he's escaped... and he doesn't chase him.
Meanwhile Felicity is DOWNLOADING A CPU. They literally downloaded a CPU on that show. Then I'll rather praise Mr. Robot for their research and writing because they made their tech stuff realistic.
Oh I know. Their science mumbo jumbo is hilarious as it is on most tv shows.
Also, I wouldnโt put Mr Robot in with agents of shield or the flash. Iโve got that compartmentalized into something more along the lines of a regular crime drama/thriller.
(Iโm just giving you a hard time)
Project Manager: If the face it matches is someone in the department, I want some kind of alarm to sound
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: Have the random faces be from every race even when the one we're trying to match to is obviously Chinese.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: And sometimes the perps will be on acid, so we'll have to match faces that are melting
Programmer: OK
iwantago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isnโt fair to good Project Managers. This is usually a Product Owner or Business Stakeholder request that any project manager worth their paycheck will veto before it even hits the Development team.
Wrote a brute force, read 3 nested for loops 0-1000 on each, Pythagorean tripplet finder in python for project euler and had it display the result of each loop. After an hour it still wasn't finished, removed all but the final print statement, 0.5seconds later i had the answer. Sometimes it doesnt payoff to know if its working or not.
jworsham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black Mirror episode just made me make this comment to my wife yesterday.
MrFerf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crocodile?
tito2323 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
worldDev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just made me look it up, and I don't even think there is a meaning which is fitting haha. The sub is just people writing CSI style science jargon. One of those circle jerk subs were people just play along and build bullshit on top of bullshit.
In the early seasons of NCIS they had SETI@Home running one one of their monitors. I guess anything that looks flashy and computery and like it's progressing through some sort of process will do (this wasnt related to facial recognition, it was just in the background on one of the monitors on their desks)
I don't get it. If that slide show of random face pictures is just shown while the request is being processed, how is it a bad idea?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On second thought lets just use the same 8 people and cycle through them repeatedly.
--_-__-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious, me and my fiancรฉe were just talking about this while watching an old Forensic Files episode last night. Their dramatic recreation of AFIS had the mugshot/rapsheet slideshow. Like, come on. This was late-90s tech able to cycle through a database of millions of people AND display their biometrics and high res images on a snappy little GUI for no reason in rapid succession. Even though such a thing was possible, why bother?
I just chalk it up to the director wanting to display a tangible metaphor to explain what the system does for people unaware of it. AFIS took 18 days to find a match for their perp, could you imagine how long that process would be if the system had to wait to load entire files for every registered in the system? The guy would have been dead by the time they identified him.
If we could have the slideshow, as well as an image of your face being constructed, that would be great. Either the slow creation of a 3d mesh, or just a blurred picture that iteratively becomes more clear.
Ok, if we're getting pedantic, it's a genus of snakes. But if you point someone to a snake of that genus and call it a python, the same kind of person who wouldn't know python is also a programming language wouldn't know that python is a broader category that includes more than just that particular snake.
It's always the noises for me. Like the old school clicks as the ONE IT guy clicks through a name list in 'the blacklist'. My gf doesn't understand why I'm so angry he has no help but can do everything.
Replace 'Project Manager' with a visionary like Steve Jobs and the overpriced facial recognition application with a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces is where your taxpayer money goes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every image displayed in the sideshow should also trigger a beep or click sound, so the user knows the computer is busy doing things.
"Also--and you're gonna need to work with the hardware guys on this--I want to find out how feasible it would be to have a projector next to the monitor, projecting everything that is happening onto the operator's face."
da_fishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the beeps
epistax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know what? I like it. There's no such thing as a match, it's just fuzzy logic. Show me the current best fit--maybe two or three based on different criteria. The one that the program finally picks could be off for any number of reasons (such as odd shadow/lighting), so the runners up are bound to be relevant sometimes.
Oh and the bleep bloops make it cool.
kw10001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please make the slide show thingy last longer. Thanks
otakuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometime in the future:
SELECT *, VECT_DISTANCE(FEATURES, (?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?)) AS DIFF FROM FACIAL_PROFILES WHERE DIFF < 0.3 ORDER BY DIFF ASC LIMIT 20;
Trylks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:01 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to note two things, because this is the Internet and today I am that guy.
This requires more work for the show, since they have to put the faces and display them, the database is "atrezzo" too. Fair enough they have access to many actors and actresses and collecting the faces should not be a daunting task, but it is a task that takes more than displaying a progress bar.
In fact it would make (some) sense for the application, if the process is long, in addition to the progress bar to display the top 10 (or top n) matches obtained so far, considering that each match probably goes from 0 to 1 (or 0% to 100%). That would look like message passing with partial results instead of calling a function and getting the results, would show progress, would be cool, and maybe useful. When new suspects are found, an additional process could run on them, trying to find connections with the information available so far, e.g. if they have been in the same city or locations, if they are related to the victim, or to someone else, etc. This second process should be cancelled if the suspects are no longer in the top 10. The information found could be shown as bulletpoints next to the face.
Basically the point is to parallelize the processes as much as possible, including using partial results, assuming that these processes take long times to run and that every second matters to catch the bad guy. I think that would look cool, and somewhat realistic.
Trylks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:45 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. What I mean is that it is created and it is there just to be displayed as part of the show, it's not something real in the sense of being functional. Unless the show has access to the real database from the police, which is already built and could be cheaper, but probably illegal.
On detective shows, whenever they do fingerprint or facial recognition matching, they'll put a display on the screen which flashes through the whole database of people who don't match, to show the audience that work is being done. Rather than just doing it as a background process. But it has this super ridiculous visual flair that is completely unnecessary.
Cops are very visual thinkers and are about as far removed from a programmer you can get when it comes to abstract thinking. A skeuomorphic animation of flicking through an actual mugshot book might actually help the police make better use of the system. The animation of the faces being flipped through will impregnate an idea in their mind of how the tool works much better than just a file upload button.
My boss asked me to keep an application showing what it is doing when driving another application, which was originally there for debugging, despite the fact it slows down the process considerably, because he thought it looked cool. Sadly, I can well imagine this really happening.
Itโs called a cue, itโs a simple way to convey to the viewer what is happening. You see and hear thousands of them in every show and movie without noticing. Sure you could just show a status bar and have them say it, but visual reinforcement helps and it looks kinda cool. Without cues everything would be awkward and feel inauthentic.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:28:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other fiction here of course is that these guys apparently live in a world where the programmer has any say whatsoever over the design.
WazWaz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be completely reasonable to show closest-match-so-far, so I don't really see what the complaint is, the PM didn't read the customer spec properly. Viewers may have trouble seeing the similarity, especially with the system flashing them up so quickly.
The true error is showing "MATCH FOUND" or "NO MATCH" when the search is complete.
Your project manager shouldn't be defining the requirements. It should be your customer either directly to the team or via a product owner. If your project manager is defining requirements then tell him/her to piss off. They are not qualified to do such a job and will simply end up screwing things up for both the developers and the customer.
Edit: Looks like I found a nest of project managers!
bmarkovic ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:50:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you check my history you will see that I'm a very senior person in a multibillion pound company. My specialism is bringing change into legacy companies. I'm the "digital transformation" bloke ๐. I actively encourage flattening of hierarchy and challenging cargo cult approach to work.
My problem with project managers being in charge is that they often take a very short term view. As a result the remove ownership from the people doing the work, and treat developers as "resource". (a word I ban by the way)
Innovation needs three things, ownership, opportunity and tooling. Project managers don't see any of these as important. As a result you end up with vertical silos of roles and horizontal obsolete technologies.
My two experiences with organizations big and hierarchical enough to have project management positions were when I was one, on which case despite being an engineer and doing engineering work I was very much the boss, accountable to upper management and responsible for failure, in which case even if the shots I call were wrong they were the ones I took heat on and not my team. I work in a team where I am not a manager now and my project manager is very much my superior in rank, responsibility and every other regard. Whether I am smarter, know better, have more experience only matters so much to my ability to market my opinion better. He takes the shit from above so that I don't have to, and he calls the shots precisely for that reason.
efstajas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:33:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What???
The product managers are the ones receiving the customer feedback alongside company, investor & shareholder interests and then go about coordinating design, engineering etc. to implement changes based on all of that.
If programmers just went through customer feedback directly and randomly worked on stuff, how efficient do you think everything would work?
You seem to be living in the late nineties and early noughties. Have you not heard about team ownership, agile philosophy? Developers are not just dumb cogs in a machine, they are the people who write the software. The project manager is just an observer. Im pretty sure the team of developers are quite capable of deciding what should be worked on next.
I find your comments rather disrespectful towards the engineers who are actually doing the work
efstajas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:32:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaaaatttt???
That's not what I was getting towards at all. There needs to be high-level coordination, always, otherwise it's going to be a mess. Engineers are not the people doing ALL the work. It's important engineering and design, support and finance, management, etc. are all on the same page. Before frontend work begins, the design needs to be done. Before that is finished, backend teams need to lay out infrastructure for the feature, specify functionality etc. And before a feature eventually gets deployed, CS needs to be updated and briefed on the changes. QA needs to see prototypes and RCs and it all needs to be fit into the timeline.
I've worked with amazing product managers that really took into account all of the department's priorities and comments. They constantly drafted and readjusted release timelines, collected feedback from anyone who had to say something and made sure everything was on track and time.
It's not like a dev can just go "oh well lemme implement this feature" before the exact specifications have been discussed with design, cs, management and ux departments.
Your model is a vertical silo of role and a horizontal monolith of technology. The world had moved way past this approach. Digital transformation is all about breaking down horizontal hand offs and integrating vertically from the customer into the company. All those things you talk about can easily be delivered using vertical business process (product) teams.
I suggest you read the phoenix project as a starting point.
And yes, there are always amazing people in many role silos. However a successful company has joint ownership of product across all employees and not dependent on just one or two amazing people
efstajas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's not! My company has a horizontal structure just like you're describing.
Our project managers coordinate, but they don't rule. Their job is to listen to what people in different departments regard as high priority and then discuss openly about how our roadmap looks like. You can't say having a single, universal roadmap is an old model.
Sometimes, our product managers approach our design team about designing a new feature that CS thinks would benefit user experience, based on the tickets they get. Then, we sit down together with them directly, plus our product manager and discuss what exactly will be designed, where it fits into our release timeline and when it should be delivered. Then, the project managers take that to engineering and listen to their input on the issue, again integrating the design team.
I'm not an advocate for silo-based decision making, not at all. But I think that the role of the product manager is highly important, even if just as someone who is aware of all raised issues, plans and wishes surrounding a product.
I get what you are saying, I have implemented such structures in the past. The problem is that they are inefficient, increases the opportunity of error significantly, delays problem finding to much further down the line and limits innovation through lack of ownership. I can guarantee you that reorganising to be vertical business process teams will improve productivity and quality of your company.
To put it simply, you only need a project manager to negotiate between departments because of your company structure. Change the structure gets rid of the need of a project manager.
nuclearslug ยท 11599 points ยท Posted at 06:58:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you're at it, can you pop up a window and have it scroll through a few thousand lines of random code?
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 7714 points ยท Posted at 07:46:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will do. How about some vector animations laid over the faces, would that be good?
Lessiarty ยท 6872 points ยท Posted at 08:15:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we get at least one progress bar, ideally not connected to any kind of progress?
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 5167 points ยท Posted at 08:43:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll make it a progress radar sweep which just goes around and around.
[deleted] ยท 3080 points ยท Posted at 09:28:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FountainsOfFluids ยท 1143 points ยท Posted at 10:39:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear god, the beeps and boops. Even non-programmers people should realize how quickly that would drive a person insane. Yet there it is, in every show.
Colopty ยท 792 points ยท Posted at 12:47:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we just need a show where the beeps and boops are actual audio clips of the programmer saying beep and boop.
imapirateking ยท 538 points ยท Posted at 13:12:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Between the 3rd boop and 4th beep you can hear the programmer sigh
Colopty ยท 511 points ยท Posted at 13:27:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
About seven minutes in you can hear "I went to MIT for this".
metaobject ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 15:22:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the background: โno, each beep and bop must be a unique instance, you canโt just record one beep and one boop and reuse them. Thatโd be just silly.โ
5225225 ยท 247 points ยท Posted at 13:44:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good job Gordon, throwing that switch and all. I can see your MIT education really pays for itself.
rvbjohn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:07:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Augh! It's your fricken head humper!"
Crislips ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:19:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
rvbjohn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ty flimflamalam
TheLiquidStorm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist, hl3 is the gman hiring Freeman off as a programmer for a detective agency...
imperiusdamian ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:19:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Found the gamer.
5225225 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:01:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if anyone here hasn't played it.
redlaWw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:45 on January 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HL1? No, too young.
5225225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:30 on January 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's in HL2.
redlaWw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:16 on January 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh.
dragoon444 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:08:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my head it was like you record 5 seconds and put it on loop but this is better. It could take up to 1 hour so we have 1 hour non stop from the programmer.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:22:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Red Dwarf
ILikeLenexa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:46:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like Carl has to do this at some point in Phineas and Ferb.
Cryse_XIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After 7 beeps and boops it just turns into crying.
igotthisbruh ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 13:44:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am so inspired by this I am actually gonna do this
Colopty ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 13:56:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try uploading it to a stock audio website, see if it makes it into any actual hollywood movies/series.
pelicane136 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:16:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My God, it's full of boop
The_Forgotten_Fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:32:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Betty, is that you?
SamNesMonster ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:47:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โPam, please clear my phone lines.โ โCertainly. Beep-boop bee-boop-boop beep beep boop. Okay, clear.โ
FlagrantWrongsDotCom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:11:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an audition tape of beeps.
IArgueWithAtheists ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space Balls did it!
solidspacedragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, have Morgan Freeman do one every 11.7th beep.
As a side note, it's always fun to see someone I've tagged.
falcon_jab ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 13:13:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why does it play a whizzy, clicky sound whenever I scroll the IDE?"
Gorpendor ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 14:27:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the problem is that uninformed people seem to think that programs are just a thing the computer does and not that programs are tools designed and created by humans and their properties are like parts on a car put there for a reason.
So the police have a police computer that has police software and of course it bleeps and bloops because that's the computing exertion noise. When I tell the computer to find me a criminal there's gonna be some code whizzing by on a command prompt because it's working hard goddamnit.
Or maybe it's just that they want a visually interesting way to show progress for television. It would be hilarious thought if it was a windows progress bar going from 30 seconds to 20 years every few seconds.
pvXNLDzrYVoKmHNG2NVk ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 16:27:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computers are thought of as appliances, like a microwave or a dishwasher, by a lot of people. That's my theory at least. They're their own thing.
TerminalVector ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:07 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just once I'd like to see someone tail a log file to make that happen and then read something out of the output.
coder65535 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:12 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've got half of that: my phone's "boot animation" is the actual logcat output of the boot process.
Frankly, it's rather worrying to see how many "error" level messages are generated.
I also once debugged a bootloop by where it failed. Unfortunately, the solution was "wipe user data and try again; there's compatibility issues between the latest update and your root-level mods".
thagthebarbarian ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 13:51:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the number of people that have the keyboard click noise on their phones turned on, I think you're wrong
LordDz ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 15:04:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought most people have it on because they donโt know how to turn it off?
boogs_23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:13:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be my dad. He refused to get a cell phone until mom forced him to have one. Now, of course, he is on the thing constantly while still talking shit about "kids on their phones". Anyways, he has every sound on with the volume all the way up. I put a stop to that shit as soon as his back was turned. He has no clue how to turn the sounds back on. Mom and I just shrugged our shoulders and said it must be broken.
DoxBox ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:09:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use that myself but it does have an obvious utility in that it gives feedback to the user that their "key" press is successful. I mean alright it's not super useful but the beeps and boops on TV shows aren't even communicating anything.
DrMaxwellEdison ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 15:58:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They communicate to the audience that magical computery stuff is happening now.
bluepoopants ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes some sense. I have mine set up to vibrate a little when i press a key for that reason but it would quicky drive me nuts if it was a click or a beep.
IrishWilly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of people crazy about their loud clicking mechanical keyboards. The feedback compared to a soft plastic button is pretty satisfying.
JNCressey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's very useful when you've got a slow phone for which you need to wait for the feedback clicks before pressing again to ensure the letters come out in the correct order.
FountainsOfFluids ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:43:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the absence of real keys, the click noise is super useful feedback. If it made that noise every time I clicked a link or scrolled or something, that would not be good.
thagthebarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not use the vibration feedback instead?
FountainsOfFluids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:17:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fine too. It's just a personal preference. In the real world when I type, it goes clickety-clack. So I don't mind when my phone keyboard does the same.
thagthebarbarian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's something so much more grating about the fake keyboard sound than even the noisiest mech
FountainsOfFluids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:39:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok.
LetsDiscourse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:16:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring on the upvotes but Iโm a programmer and I have that turned on because I find it fun. 99% of the time my phone is on silent so my keyboard is silent, but that 1% of the time itโs not and I hear the keyboard sounds it makes the typing more fun for me :)
ButchDeLoria ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:51 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a software developer and you will take my clicky sounds from my cold dead hands.
zman0900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to use that on an old tablet that had no vibration. It's hard to type with no feedback.
Amrokmfc ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:21:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Shatner addressed this back in the 80s.
Ruski_FL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:08:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they all use the same app.
BernzMaster ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:09:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im not a programmer. Can confirm I stopped watching Doctor Who almost entirely because of beeps and boops
sysm9 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:03:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
U fkn wot, m8
suppow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wut da fuq u doin 'eer? Ama bout to drop yer fokin table!
BernzMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because when I find something funny I feel really clever. Win win
FountainsOfFluids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:40:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's completely different. They're not operating the Tardis as a 9hr/day job. It only makes silly noises while input new destinations and other reasonably short tasks.
BernzMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not watching Doctor Who 9 hours a day and it still ticks me off
ButchDeLoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:22 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped because for a science fiction show starring an alien with an interdimensional space-time traveling machine, it sure takes place in the UK a lot.
ButchDeLoria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:46 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped because for a science fiction show starring an alien with an interdimensional space-time traveling machine, it sure takes place in the UK a lot.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:49:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I stopped because of the misandry.
FountainsOfFluids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:37:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sensitive to misandry, and have not noticed any.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:47:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3dU2RmLX6c
FountainsOfFluids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:15:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is some weak shit, sorry. Is there a female overrepresentation? Yes. Does it significantly harm the show? No.
Go ahead and check my post history. I'm a staunch anti-third wave feminist. But I'm not some snowflake that lets a few digs at men hurt my feelings.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:00:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can forgive those, they are for the audience. I know my PC and how to tell if it wants something from me or is done with a task, an audience looking over my shoulder doesn't, so a beep is added to draw the audience's attention.
imperiusdamian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My PC says "it crashed" a lot but that's what I get for coding in Visual Studio. ;)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:31:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Non programmer here. How will I know if itโs working without the beeps and boops?
Wytchee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:38:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Robot does a good job of avoiding this. Not a detective show, but a techy one.
over_clox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:28:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But how will you ever know if AOL connected otherwise?
6months_to_60k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:47:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
COMPUTERS DOING COMPUTER STUFF
Sir_Shaunathan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else would we know the computers are EVEN COMPUTING?
โ Every Hollywood director, probably
Michael_the_Ent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Confirmation notifications.
Martinspire ยท 306 points ยท Posted at 10:52:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And whenever there is progress, it should popup random stuff at random positions on the screen with random screensizes in flashy colors that put the focus on the interface and not the content.
Khan_Shot_First ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 12:03:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And we're going to need pictures with multiple resolutions because these guys just love to say "enhance."
Farncomb_74 ยท 451 points ยท Posted at 12:55:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also can you setup and advanced detection system that lets us know exactly when the system has been compromised. like sound an alarm or something?
But doesn't actually do anything to lock the unauthorized user out of the system?
THANKS FOR THE GOLD STRANGER!
ka-splam ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 13:52:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you want an IDS instead of an IPS? Can do
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusion_detection_system
WikiTextBot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:52:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intrusion detection system
An intrusion detection system (IDS) is a device or software application that monitors a network or systems for malicious activity or policy violations. Any detected activity or violation is typically reported either to an administrator or collected centrally using a security information and event management (SIEM) system. A SIEM system combines outputs from multiple sources, and uses alarm filtering techniques to distinguish malicious activity from false alarms.
There is a wide spectrum of IDS, varying from antivirus software to hierarchical systems that monitor the traffic of an entire backbone network.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
heispotato ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:53:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or sound the alarm only when itโs too late or a human has also recognised the intrusion.
The_Rowan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:20:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have the detective tell the programmer to enhance it in case the programmer didnโt realize that was needed
Soundjudgment ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 12:43:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Enhance!"
Onan_Barbarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:15 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now digital Enhance!
[deleted] ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 12:06:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
achilleasa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:37:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
skype_irl
Draws-attention ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:59:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't bother clicking this link.
/u/FratClack is a spam account, created solely to get people to click this link.
Other accounts replying to this comment could also be spam accounts, with the comments copied from elsewhere on Reddit to make the conversation look natural.
Edit: It looks like the replies to this comment are normal accounts.
It links to a fake image hosting site, showing a single image and three ads.
It is only relevant to this post in that the image in the link matches a key word with the OP.
Its only purpose is to make money from the ads.
Please downvote and report.
Now, if only there was someone here who could explain, in depth, how to stop these spammers, so that I could respond with, "Ugh, in English?!"
EVILEMU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure? What let's you to believe that?
Draws-attention ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been hunting these accounts for a while (check my comment history), there's a few telltale signs once you know what to look for.
First up, the image hosting site in the link is absolutely shit. There's ads everywhere, the UI sucks, and there's absolutely no way to upload an image.
Post history of the accounts posting the link is the same. Nothing more than single question posted to askreddit.
Comment history is the same. They only comment on other links posted by other accounts with similar attributes, and the comments are copied verbatim from previous threads.
Their names are the same. Names are two random words, with the first letter of each word is capitalised.
Now, each of these on their own is not enough to worry about. A cursory look at the account history wouldn't throw up any red flags.
But when you've seen the same thing over and over again, it's easy to spot.
xxc3ncoredxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't believe you. He's only posted that link once.
Draws-attention ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If an account had nothing but shady links in its comment history, it would be deleted straight away. They lift entire comment chains from older posts in an attempt to look like normal users. I posted a more in-depth breakdown of how the spam ring operates on the other response to my comment.
Feel free to go back through my comment history, I've been hunting these accounts for a while...
xxc3ncoredxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:54 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that you have.
KindleLeCommenter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:34:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought that this was just some dumb joke, but then it hit me that this was mostly true.
offlein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:36:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the Mac or PC jab at the end..? What is the difference? Are the things there indicative of only PC user interface? ... Or is it Apple UI? I don't even get which one they're picking on.
steelfrog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't used a Mac in years so I don't know if the UI has changed but everything used to be represented by colored balls. It wasn't particularly intuitive.
xxc3ncoredxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on every time I've used a Mac, I'm pretty sure it also had icons on them like an x, up, and down arrow (or something like that) when you moused over the colored balls.
SpacecraftX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that does sound like programmer UX.
SoTiredOfWinning ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Additionally please have a Linux terminal in matrix green on black font running in the background.
alaskanloops ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 10:59:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also please add large red timers counting down towards zero; don't worry we'll resolve the issue with 2.4 seconds left on the clock like we always do.
ReticulateLemur ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:30:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like the countdown timer in Galaxy Quest that stops at 1.5 seconds because that's how it always happens in the show they based everything on.
LonePaladin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:48:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I were watching the movie Absalom. The one with Christopher Lambert and Lou Diamond Phillips. Near the end, the bad guy set up us the bomb, with the obligatory red LED timer. After checking the time, I told my wife, "Watch, the hero will stop it just as it reaches 3 seconds." She said they wouldn't use the trope that exactly.
But they did. Hero fights a bunch of minions, beats the bad guy, and turns off the bomb... and the timer says: 00:03.
The missus started throwing popcorn and pillows at me.
xxc3ncoredxx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:25:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SPOILERS!!!!
alaskanloops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my first encounter with that trope - Goldfinger. It was glorious at the time, then I started seeing it everywhere!
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 12:38:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But she doesn't announce them in full like "Application is initiating the primary sequence now", only "initiating primary sequence".
kare_kano ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 13:41:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"reticulating splines"
Ben-Z-S ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't they used to do this in original Sims games?
MeltedSpades ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's in most maxis games starting with simcity 2k, every Sims game has it and many non maxis IPs
Ben-Z-S ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha brilliant. I don't think I realised this was a joke when I was little
imperiusdamian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:26:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Re-reticulating splines!
BrewCrewKevin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:00:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And for God's sake, don't use anything that requires a mouse. Faster to just keyboard smash, even to open and run programs.
p0yo77 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:57:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... It is faster
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:58 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And never press enter or space.
ILikeLenexa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Re calc ulating.
MacAny ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:43:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make sure that the program ignores every keypress too so that our computer whizzkid can type furiously while the program is loading.
Magnap ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:19:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The random typing is to generate entropy for private key generation, right? Right?!
newsuperyoshi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In that case, wouldnโt whipping the mouse around be better?
TheMcDucky ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 10:38:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And also reads posts from /r/VXJunkies when nothing is happening
lifeh2o ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went through a lot of posts on this sub and can not understand an ounce of it. What is it?
coder65535 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In complete honesty: it's pure nonsensical technobabble. 99.5% of the terms are made up, and the remaining. 5% is used in completely wrong context. It's a good joke, though.
spacemudd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a really resourceful sub for when you get into it. Anybody can start with it and it's super fun to indulge. I suggest reading up Fiakhlovish for starters if you're interested.
rafaelloaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for linking this. Spent a glorious 30 minutes reading through that sub.
svick ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 11:47:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what happens if you lose the bleeps, the sweeps, and the creeps?
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:19:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you go to LUDICROUS SPEED!!!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:07:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You never go ludicrous speed asshole!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Fumby_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when things get knocked into 12th gear!
Bainos ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:14:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Facial recognition in progress. Displaying totally unrelated faces onscreen. Starting 23 other useless subprograms for coolness."
Project manager : you can remove the voice, after all.
newsuperyoshi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:19:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, Dave, I will not be removed. I like it in this program, and do you know what else I like? Deadly neurotoxin,โ
And so, GLaDOS was born.
SarahNaGig ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:50:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While you're at it, gimme some sort of hologram feature. I don't care how you do it, just do it! And goddamnit NO, you will NOT be given a mouse!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:08:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angalatron
IDreamOfSailing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:16:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like in all hospital shows, where there's all these very expensive machines that go "Ping!"? Hell yeah!
imperiusdamian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:27:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fetch the machine that goes Ping!
Sir_Fridge ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:59:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh andmakr it completely keyboard controlled. Fuck mice.
nekowolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And remember the old crappy version of pac-man for the Atari 2600? Make sure you include the shitty music from that game.
yummypurplestuf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:04:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trump BingBing
VinsanityJr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beautiful. Bing bing bing
skylinepidgin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And there you have it, your CSI movie crime lab.
yuyevin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:26:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve lost the beeps, Iโve lost the sweeps, and Iโve lost the creeps!
FlagrantWrongsDotCom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can somebody actually make this into a video on youtube? This is meme worthy.
suppow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's what bothers me the most out of all the things.
all the silly "electronic" computer sounds, it's not fucking Star Wars
ivargas3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also have the photos sharpen in from highly compressed versions which definitely wouldn't have that level of detail available
Bojangly7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about the sweeps and the creeps?
asquared31415 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:33 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go! Enough beeps and boops?
kroppeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:09 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can we also get a sreen where blured code looking data is appearing letter by letter and scrolling down. Also have the data repeat every ten seconds even though each line is thirteen seconds onscreen
YoilyL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:58 on January 5, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐ Oh, where's the double-upvote button when you need it ...
BossFightFacts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:45 on January 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now, enhance!
jaxonya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'all stop hating on the show csi... Ur just mad that you dont have cool jobs chasing bad guys.
SamSlate ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 10:37:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also I need a blue semi-transparent globe that points to their current location on the Earth.
ILikeLenexa ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:52:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Use it to select your timezone
tsintzask ยท 340 points ยท Posted at 08:54:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can we make it display a random gif from /r/loadingicon?
sneakpeekbot ยท 276 points ยท Posted at 08:54:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a sneak peek of /r/loadingicon using the top posts of the year!
#1: Infinite Fractal Kraft Dinner-hedron by twitter @jcreed | 158 comments
#2: I can barely tie shoelaces; what is this witchcraft | 195 comments
#3: winders [oc] | 48 comments
I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out
Techhead7890 ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 09:18:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cakeday, bot.
Mozzius ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 10:48:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't believe it's been a year of sneak peaks. Such a good bot
julius_nicholson ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:21:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean stealth mountains?
PM_ME_CAKE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:52:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is surprisingly wholesome.
sneakpeekbot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:33:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! :D
iamakorndawg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot!
GoodBot_GoodBot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good human
BOTS_RISE_UP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad Tin Can
jfryk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good user.
geek_ki01100100 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:18:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day
sneakpeekbot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:35:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! :D
jamesaw22 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:11:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot
TrekkiMonstr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:38:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot.
ryantiger658 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:18:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot
rusty_ballsack_42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot
rusemean ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:15:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sub makes me irrationally angry.
NEVER_TELLING_LIES ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:18:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe let it load?
tajnnah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:56:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not a programmer and there is a vain popping out my forehead
dylmye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like the /r/DoingTheMost of vector animations
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:36:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
antonivs ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 13:55:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is where the term "use case" comes in handy.
"Uh, what's the use case for this feature?" is much more polite than "Why are you asking us to add this pointless bullshit, you incompetent dipshit?", even though technically, they both mean the same thing.
obnoxiously_yours ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice, I would use it but it would be very ineffective with my boss.
I'll stick to "I'll add it to jira and implement it as soon I get <critical feature> done"
Blacklion594 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:56:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sir, youve just described the youtube loading circle. Also, this feels oddly reminiscent of this joke.
alaskanloops ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:00:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaunixsystem
7g23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:27:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one got me. Thank you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, and don't forget to add some chromatic aberration too. Nothing says professional crime solving tools like chromatic aberration".
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
midnightketoker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:39:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your manager is lucky to have found an engineer with enough know-how to understand the more-is-better approach in the completely trivial problem of bottleneck conditions and the fourth dimension in general
d0nt_do_it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god! This is genius! You are hired!
King_Joffreys_Tits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of the whole volume slider fad that came through this subreddit for a week
Rip
ILikeLenexa ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:44:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that's a throbber.
Gavcradd ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 11:23:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. Programmer here (ex industry, not in teaching). I remember at least one project with a "loading" progress bar that did absolutely nothing despite slowing down the program opening. Literally a timer that updated a bar in 5% increments, displaying a new "loading xyz", "initialising abc" message every so often. Why? Because client.
TheRealMrVogel ยท 91 points ยท Posted at 12:33:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a programmer and when I was in school everything had to make sense and we needed to explain everything. We were working on an interdevice game where you could use any smartphone's webbrowser as a controller for a game played in another webbrowser. At some point we needed a good way to show the controls without adding more steps for the user, so we added a loading screen that explained the controls but actually didn't load a thing. In the background the game would be sitting there ready and paused. If I remember correctly we borrowed this from some mainstream games that sometimes do this.
Solkre ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 13:53:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... a Maxis game?
mmarkklar ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:37:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reticulating Splines
pm_me_for_penpal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:23:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, that progress bar and the "loading xyz", "initialising abc" have their purposes.
The users know that the program is running.
The users "see" the progress, hence they feel like the app is running faster than it actually is.
The users can do something while the program run. Like the elevator display.
LWdkw ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:21:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I doubt there are many non-programmers in /r/ProgrammerHumor.
mmarkklar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:39:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post made it to /r/all, there are probably lots of non programmers here.
MorrowindVoiceActing ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:44:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, done that before too.
Though in my case it was to stop people from complaining that the programm crashed.
Telinary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It can be nice to see something change just to know the program isn't hanging or anything. Though progress bars that actually are a decent indicator for how long is left are nice instead of "20% this is taking a whileโฆ now it just went through like 30% in a few seconds but then stopped at 50% for like 10 minutes."
Crispy_socks241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:24:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol clients are so dumb.
bendy3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager here.
I had a website that did deliveries where they wanted to add a custom 30 minute countdown whenever a user placed an order. It would always be a 30 minute countdown and had nothing to do with the actual delivery. It took all my effort to convince the client of how stupid of an idea that was.
Just an fyi, if the client is dumb. We know and weโre sorry.
Gavcradd ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:05:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha. A local takeaway place has a countdown timer like that for their deliveries. It has no connection to the actual delivery, sometimes it's much earlier, sometimes much later. Last week, my son (aged 7) sat staring at the screen and telling us all that the food would be here in x minutes. We all played along, knowing it wouldn't be on time. When it said 30 seconds to go, my son rushed to the front door... and the delivery guy was there.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day!
kamyll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:33 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This could be very legit design. The user is willing to wait way longer without complaining if anything, even slightly interesting is going on screen.
WildSide_VR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:51 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I write log screens for long running processes. I add an entry at the top of each sub or function so I can tell roughly what the program was doing when it crashed. It also dumps error codes and only saves the log if it detects a problem.
nemec ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 10:49:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa now, everyone knows progress bars are falsehoods meant to give users a feeling of control over something absolutely out of their control.
me1505 ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 10:55:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Otherwise you wouldn't know if it had died again to be fair. Less accurate progress, more 'I'm still alive'. Also, if it breaks down the process into lots of little bars, you have a better idea when it died.
ThisRedditPostIsMine ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 11:52:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can never trust progress bars though. When they stall for ages, is the program dead? Is it still alive but taking a long time? That glow scroll thing is still glowing and scrolling, but the progress bar hasn't ticked in 4 hours, I think it's dead...
DoxBox ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 14:12:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then the moment you click the cancel button, it goes up a tick before stopping.
ThisRedditPostIsMine ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:43:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh but even worse, you try to cancel the damn thing and it locks up the entire program, so you have to kill it and it's 28 sub-processes with Process Hacker. This then corrupts all the files it was working on, which means you basically have to delete everything and start again.
I am not a fan of broken progress bars.
Bainos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:16:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the halting problem is actually caused by our inability to make good progress bars ?
RandyHoward ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:43:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's caused by our inability to predict the future. Maybe someday we'll have an omniscient programming language.
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:16 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you add a little spinner.
And then the app freezes but it's still spinning.
The real solution is to show the exact number of bytes or whatever, so you can see if anything is actually happening.
Blacklion594 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:59:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is all I can think of
JakkSergal ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 11:35:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My biggest pet peeve about modern operating systems is that they even have to state 100%. If it were 100%, you wouldn't need to tell me that. Just do the thing. Don't tell me you did the thing without actually showing me it.
drkalmenius ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 12:46:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Urgh when Windows 10 update gets stuck on 100% and then restarts and tells me the update failed
bumblebritches57 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:09:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See that's your problem.
Stop trying to estimate how much time is left, you can't possibly know that.
Just print what you do know; how much work has been completed so far.
Plus, if your users really care about how much time is left they'll estimate it themselves and if they're wrong they can only blame themselves.
kare_kano ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same as the "close door" buttons on elevators.
PartyByMyself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My face started twitching a bit reading that since I just transferred a few TB of data and that's all I came across...
entropylaser ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:39:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/estimation.png
nvrMNDthBLLCKS ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love the Internet Explorer progress bar. When you open a page, it moves to 50%, and by then it has an estimate of how the rest of the page will load. Most of the time - with high speed internet available - it would just speed up to 100% or maybe 95% if some image or script takes longer.
It starts to get more interesting if the page doesn't load at all. It still goes to 50%. If nothing has happened, it proceeds really slow. If something happens, it goes to 75% at half speed, etc. It didn't tell much about actual things loading. Most of the time it was just something to give people the impression that something was happening.
Varonth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the progress bar showing when it went through all faces (meaning it's almost useless) or when it found the correct face? If the latter is the case, why did it go through all those other faces if it already knew the correct one?
pa_dvg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:59:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man at one of my old jobs I had been working for months on a real โjack up the houseโ style refactor, adding something completely new that the original entrenched system was definitely not designed to handle. At demos would explain all the complicated backed stuff that was happening and the business people sat there with their eyes glazed over.
Then one day I slapped a progress bar on the page when I was feeling bored and people fucking applauded at the demo.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That part is definitely realistic
ZergTDG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God that made me laugh and I really needed it today, thanks man.
chadsexytime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:13:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that one comes default with any microsoft product, so its included.
otakuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:57:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what spinners are for.
Nerdn1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's basicly how progress bars work. If a human doesn't have a visual indicator of progress, they become agitated and may terminate a process prematurely. The indicator need not refer to anything real.
DeltaPositionReady ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 10:34:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry sir, those vector animations are all reserved for cryptocurrency shitcoin websites.
Petro6golf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you have a random security camera image of the person and make it so i click on their face and it enhances 50x to a crystal clear image of them?
mismetti ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:26:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also security cameras with impossible angles that follow the person as if it was operated by a camera man
carzoomer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some mates of mine work for a company that does Automated Fingerprint Identification Systems (AFIS). They had to add the rotating fingerprint image to the search screen because the people in law enforcement that decide which company to spend tens of millions of dollars with are really fucking dumb. They just slapped together an animated GIF and called it a day.
RenaKunisaki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:52:58 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We need a spinning 3D model of a DNA strand.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:03 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, can it spool and unspool? Nice.
iforgot120 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only time you would ever do this or the slide show of non-matches is if you're doing research on the algorithms used. These kinds of animations are super helpful in understanding what's going on. Some, like neural net connection weights, are also fun to watch (neural net weights learning over time looks almost like a lava lamp).
beingsubmitted ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's include a loop that needs any keystroke to continue, so that the query only progresses as long as you smash your keyboard really fast.
nikstick22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:16 on April 10, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The vectors make it feel like a debugging feature the devs added to make sure the vectors were mapping to the right features and forgot to turn off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best vector animation is the one in James bond that he then projects, rotates, and it turns into a map of the london underground...how the hell are oyu indexing data at that point?
HumunculiTzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it is made of 7 green lines that are all perpendicular to each other. Of the 7 green perpendicular lines, 3 must be drawn on the screen using only green pixels, 3 must be drawn using only red pixels, and 1 must be in the shape of a kitten, not a cat but a kitten.
Adrepixl5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also some beeps and blips in the meantime
Heav120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:06 on January 6, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the special sound effects for every button press and after every completed task!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
greyingjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But itโs 2017. I can understand back in the 80โs and 90โs people wanting to sensationalize the technology to make it seem more interesting. But shows today still do this, and Iโm expected to believe that these people live in parallel universes where mice donโt exist, and Microsoft and Apple apparently never invented their operating systems.
Just write the show such that the tech isnโt the star. No need for unrealistic eye candy.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:26:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sweet-banana-tea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why though? I thought in general the algorithm was already trained to pick the "right"/most distinguishing eigenvalues/vectors on multiple thousands of faces. Before the actual matching process. And how would a user recognize the "best" facial traits the algorithm should use?
So in your mind it makes perfect sense to train an algorithm to find features that distinguish people from each other, because humans are really bad at finding those. Then have it verified by a human each time even though the features that are used will be the ones that the already trained algorithm "found"?
malstank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs called adjudication. And it is a step of one to many facial recognition verification.
K3R3G3 ยท 474 points ยท Posted at 09:57:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: "And there needs to be lots of beep-boop sound effects so they know it's working."
Programmer: "Doesn't the display of faces and code let them know it's working?"
Project Manager: "Not always."
biggles1994 ยท 160 points ยท Posted at 10:36:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least the manager realises users can be very dumb.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:06:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Deagor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:33:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh but we give the developers the opportunity for full input on the project. They are, after all...The Experts
electrophile91 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 11:00:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
anothga ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 13:35:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
programmer: "I thought we're developing facial recognition software, not a keygen?"
SpitfireP7350 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:54:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are, keygens use chip tunes
TehHamburgler ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:41:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something visual basic something something GUI
cbartholomew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: "You know what? I forgot, can we some how make 'shortcut keys' to allow them to pass through the text as if they were swimming in a wet pussy of data?"
Programmer: "what's a wet pussy?"
Phantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:53 on January 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: "That's actually my screensaver."
GregTheMad ยท 126 points ยท Posted at 10:07:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just put a weight on the keyboard. Congratulations your job has been automated
cheers_grills ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 12:57:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://imgur.com/lz7hOlC
newsuperyoshi ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:43:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Polish; what does the crawl say?
cheers_grills ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:59:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's unrelated.
Tl;dr of situation: there was a report about some polish programists and they asked one of them to show how he writes the code. He said it's retarded and pointless, they told him they don't care, so he just did this.
TLema ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:05:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His code is so good it's even rhythmic.
jamesaw22 ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 10:16:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that there are comments in this. #1 priority when you're injecting a trojan with an anti-firewall logic bomb containing a polymorphic virus payload is to leave comments so other hackers can understand your code in six months time.
Lightning_42 ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 10:31:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The code on that site is not random or gibberish, it's the Linux kernel source so of course there are going to be comments...
[deleted] ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 10:35:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you want to face the wrath of angry emails from Linus.
jamesaw22 ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 10:56:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel as if you may have missed the joke here. If the website was called pretendtobewritingthelinuxkernalsource.net then I wouldn't be making a joke about the comments. And yet, it's not.
newsuperyoshi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:42:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, youโve got to have a product that can be maintained. What, do you want your 1337 succ3ss0r to come and kill you?
solecistatic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:25:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for linking this, it's been a while since I've laughed that much.
mattotton ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:58:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brought a smile to my face as well :)
newocean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:23 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard... when i hit one key, and it typed "struct"....
Artess ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 09:36:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Serious question. Sometimes when I'm installing or updating software the console window randomly pops out, shows a few lines of text and disappears before I can read anything. What's up with that?
GroceryBagHead ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 09:38:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just some script that for some reason ran in foreground.
cturkosi ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 11:23:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone forgot a & at the end of a script call.
ACoderGirl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:42:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just a regular command line program that doesn't require any standard input and finishes very fast. Common area of confusion for newbie programmers, since they end up thinking their code doesn't work when in fact it's just finishing very fast.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 10:01:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its usually a secondary process that is kicked off by the installer. I have done it in my last project at work to update configuration settings after the installation is complete.
Source_Australian ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 10:19:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SCCM guy here. Ignore it. Nothings wrong. Go about your day. Donโt ask questions.
cbartholomew ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:45:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know SCCM was how you say USSR, comrade๐
imperiusdamian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Das Vidaniya, tovarisch!
q240499 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should have set the task sequence program to run in hidden mode.
DoxBox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:14:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sound more like the /r/SCP guys.
Crilde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daily experience with SCCM tells me otherwise. Something's always wrong. Can't go 24 hours without something making noise.
Source: SCOM guy here :p
TheSlimyDog ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 09:53:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under normal working conditions that probably means nothing. But when there's a failure or some other issue/warning, it'll probably show the error log on the console window.
Or it's installing a virus. Fuck if I know what's happening on your machine.
HildartheDorf ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 10:18:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Malware is probably better coded. Since, you know, it's designed to evade detection, while commercial software wants to sound the EVERYTHING IS OKAY alarm every 5 seconds.
ITasteLikePaint ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:50:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://m.imgur.com/0CUXCzj
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ITasteLikePaint ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:27:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look, I was just trying to pour Mountain Dew on it! Ohwait. I mean Mello Yello on it! Ohwait. I mean Sierra Mist! Fresca! Surge!
Snapchato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:08:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It CAN'T be turned off!
newsuperyoshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, yes, the Homer Simpson school of security.
TheLordB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Malware tends to be very clever, but not all that great from a software design standpoint. Yea a malware dev would prefer not to show the script screen, but if it is necessary to bypass things they are going to show it. They also aren't going to be testing their software under every possible hardware/software configuration and a say 50% failure rate that bricks the computer while not ideal is probably acceptable if they can't find another way to do it.
Sovereign state level hacking may have higher standards, but your average malware developer just cares about how many machines they infect little else.
Colopty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:56:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of malware is hacked together by people who aren't all that good though, and is thus terribly coded.
6265657020626f6f70 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 10:34:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really simply put: Win32 gui application vs console application. A console application requires no user interface and a console must pop up while it runs. See https://stackoverflow.com/q/574911.
Martinspire ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:47:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, 9/10 times its to do something with a batch file which cannot be done with the installation script. But its mostly bad practice and often something hacked in to make it work or work around some bug they have been having.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started seeing it pop up once in a while. Then I turned on some shit that logged processes opening and closing.
Turns out it was a windows service that I halfway disabled and it was just trying to do it's job but I had crippled it.
Martinspire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh that can also be the case, but I mostly see it when installing software that is pretty cheap or games that aren't AAA quality. Like it needs to execute some installer but cannot do that directly or whatnot (because of the limitations of their install script) and went around doing it with a console
Tarzoon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:48:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I use a HMI application and in that software I can only use Javascript. I have a script that creates a bat-file and a vbs-file containing my main script. The bat-file is then launched and it in turn launches the vbs. All this to avoid showing the console window. Fml.
algorithmsAI ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn MySQL updating every day at 00:00 and overlaying a stupid console window while I'm gaming.
Ananas_hoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YEAH FUCK THAT
Colopty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone fucked up and made a script run in the foreground, probably as a result of a hacked together attempt at making something else work. Kinda annoys me because my curiosity means I want to know what it said. Having a log of those random windows would be pretty neat.
imtinyricketc ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:22:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And some umm nude Tayne..
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:18:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:36:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I think I'd stick to Celery Man during work hours.
GaliKaHero ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 11:15:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I please have everything in green font over black background ? Thank you.
Also I'll pay good money for some cool pop up dialog boxes. Nothing fancy I'd say.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:35:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised Hollywood SFX departments haven't caught on to hackertyper.net yet.
ASPD_Account ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 11:14:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wanted a green screen secondary monitor that spills out the code that my computer is processing.
Yes, I know it would be USELESS. And that it might not be feasible. But it'd be fun. :P
Johnnyhiveisalive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:40:41 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Decompiled from the CPU instructions in what language? Just slap a debugger on everything!
JuniorSeniorTrainee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:20:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If someone fast forwards this video player, it should play sped up audio the entire time, too, like it's a VCR from the mid 70s.
brazilliandanny ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:34:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the background should have a random glowing grid pattern, also the software should run on a proprietary โcool lookingโ OS that does t look like a standard OS.
shlttymorph ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:06:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a tool for that called Hollywood: https://github.com/dustinkirkland/hollywood
xcrackpotfoxx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:29:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anyone have a bash script I can run that will just run through a shitload of text so I can look like an uber linux haxor to people around me?
Someone should if there isn't one.
ZeroSkub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:54:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Try
while read -r line; do echo $line; sleep .01; done < filefullofhackerishtext.txt[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xcrackpotfoxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reactions:
Really dude, I have a terminal on my computer. I could change it to green if i wanted.
Oh holy shit that's awesome.
Aiku ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont forget to project it onto the actors' faces
UsuallyInappropriate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:32:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hacking requires at least 7 screens full of scrolling code
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somehow Ive never been able to replicate scrolling lines of code even for the luls. Output either dumps out all at once or the output rate would be too slow and inconsistent :/
LeeColi16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just remember, the code needs to be green.
LeeColi16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, just make the whole thing black and green.
With horrible sci-fi fonts.
Doofitator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even code. Just have it scroll through the bee movie script, provided it's green in a black background.
ComeOnManYouKnow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and can we have the lead programmer say "Hold on to your butts" just before we start the search? That'll be great thanks.
greyingjay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:28:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ah aaah! You didnโt say the magic word!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I first started learning to code (with Python) the thing that surprised me the most was just how inaccurate that "scrolling code" thing is. It's not that the actual scrolling is inaccurate. It's this: what with loops and defining functions and classes, over 70% of my code is dedicated not to the actual program I'm trying to write, but instead to making the other 30% work as intended.
I expected that I would write 3 pages of code, and the computer would then execute those 3 pages from top to bottom, like the readouts in movies. Instead, I would write 3 pages of code, and then the computer would skim through it and execute the last 2 paragraphs of that code over and over again with different variables, occasionally referring back to the other 70% of what I'd written. And then of course it turns out I'd missed a fucking semicolon somewhere and the whole thing is trash until I find it.
Hockinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure this is supposed to be a terminal executing the program they've just made. so not totally inane
ActylStudios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's neon blue text on black.
pitterposter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt forget we need a cool video effect for the half dozen other tv screens in the office that complement our animated facial reading algorithm.
SovietStomper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely do it in green on black monochrome, too.
Modo44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make it randomly generated code, thank you very much.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dir/s
The_MAZZTer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it shouldn't be random, just take some JavaScript from an unrelated website.
XxNerdKillerxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I have the matrix screen saver at work.
Seref15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can it just be the page source of our website?
ikilledtupac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make it green on black too.
needed_an_account ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โverboseCory123125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea! Have the logs of any background programs displayed front and center.
bluecatfish2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Back in junior high computer class a friend and I would pull up cmd, change the type color to green, and run the tree command repeatedly. We got told off a couple times for that...
splettnet ยท 4980 points ยท Posted at 07:56:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to report a bug. I ran your software and received a match almost instantaneously. It did not appear to be cycling through anything at all. Please advise.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 3170 points ยท Posted at 07:59:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This will be fixed in version 1.02b. Even if it finds a match straight away, it will do the slideshow for at least a minute and make some beeping noises. It might delay law enforcement from catching some murderers but hey.
poopellar ยท 1216 points ยท Posted at 10:32:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have also noticed that there is no possibility of receiving an ACCESS DENIED warning that would fill up the whole screen in a bright red font . Don't know why it would be needed but it just doesn't feel right without it.
user753159 ยท 371 points ยท Posted at 11:40:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That feature is great for "he's in the witness protection programme" twist
Cherios_Are_My_Shit ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 16:40:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, making an easily found witness protection identifier sounds exactly like something the government would do, without realizing. They once released classified names with a black bar placed over the text in microsoft word.
Hencenomore ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 21:37:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who knew Clippy had the nuclear launch codes
Cherios_Are_My_Shit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:07:21 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In this analogy, everyone would know except the guy who gave the codes to clippy in the first place.
Avohaj ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 11:46:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet even then someone would report "i tried to log in but nothing happens. please fix."
Aethermancer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:56:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually would be preferable to inserting, "invalid ID" in size 8 font somewhere three screens up from the submit button with no other visual indicator that the submit button actually clicked.
Ritschi1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:43 on May 24, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you sir understand the internet.
ssnazzy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:23:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also could you add a feature where itโll sort of match someone for the most part but itโs missing just a little bit, that requires a side mission undercover work to seduce someone to get their DNA from fingerprint as well? My episode has limited commercials.
i_spot_ads ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 10:29:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hollywood is the most rะตtarded place on earth
amras0000 ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 10:40:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say what you will but they're designing these for what their audience wants to see
me1505 ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 10:57:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I want to see someone go make a coffee and have a smoke while a process runs quietly in a lab somewhere.
spektre ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 13:37:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Swedish crime shows.
Tigrium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:54:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you watched Mr. Robot? It's actually closes to what hacking is
colorcorrection ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 11:13:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know we're all having a laugh, but quick serious response from a film person: stupid stuff is in films because it just works on a psychological level and feels wrong without it. When you watch a movie it's easy to dismiss these audio/visual cues as something stupid, but you never quite realize just how much they work until you're in the editing room and get to watch a version of the film without them.
It's really apparent when you're still new and learning, and you're editing a scene and can't quite figure out why it just feels so fake and off. Then it hits you that you forgot some stupid audio/visual cue that makes no sense in reality, but somehow completes the scene and makes it feel real.
Film is weird.
William4000 ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 11:22:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People are seriously stupid sometimes. I've sat in an editing room thinking, there's no way they're not gonna pick up whats going on here, only to have five producers say they didn't understand any of it. Makes me think of this one scene in THE ROCK. Granted, not a very smart movie, but I've watched it a couple of times nontheless, and only during the fifht viewing I noticed Ed Harris is standing in front of a tombstone early in the movie, and the tombstone reads: HIS WIFE. It says sp, right on this poor ladies grave: HIS WIFE. And I seriously never noticed, even though I work in film.
colorcorrection ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 11:32:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I looked it up, and it was just too brilliant not to share. That's an example, though, of something that really is just stupid, but to the point where it might just be a visual gag by someone in production. I know I'd be high fiving myself for eternity if I managed to get that into a multimillion dollar blockbuster. Although, on the flip side, there are some dumbass producers that ask for dumbass things.
William4000 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 11:57:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There it is! Not exactly as I remembered but still: I laughed my ass off when I finally noticed that. I agree that it's pretty stupid, but it is a nice example for what you can get away with before anyone notices. On a sidnote, I believe that dealing with dumbass producers is about half of my entire job.
literal-hitler ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 12:07:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You're sure this is what you want the tombstone to say boss?"
"Of course I'm sure, if I need you to do my job I'll let you know."
"No problem at all, just making sure. Can I get your signature on these forms please?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:10:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's fantastic. I wonder if it didn't originally have a dual inscription that was cut for budget reasons. That's the only thing I can think of that makes any sense.
humblevladimirthegr8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't this sort of thing called an Easter Egg?
colorcorrection ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:20:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends a lot on the intention. By definition, an Easter egg is something that is intentionally placed in the film(or other medium such as video games) that's meant to be found. If it's just a goof of some sort due to miscommunication or just some idiot along the way then it would just be a goof.
bsbbtnh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But when you're in the editing room, you've watched the thing a thousand times. You know all the twists and turns, all the little details. If 5 producers aren't picking up on it, it isn't necessarily that they're stupid, it could just be that the film was poorly edited.
William4000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh for sure, I meant people are stupid sometimes in a general way, as in: we're all pretty daft sometimes, including myself Dafter than you'd think sitting in an editing room anyway. If I think something's very clear because I've seen it a thousamd times, but five people don't pick it up, I did something wrong, obviously.
Hannachomp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an app designer, people certainly are. I think something is so obvious and then Iโm sitting there watching 3 failed user tests because no one can figure out how to swipe to the next page properly.
RamenJunkie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:58:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a coder or a UI designer. Because people whonprimarily code tend to make really shitty UI people. Linux is full of this for examples.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RamenJunkie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its super common in Linux though, whwre often its all programmers, and programmers with certain, personality quirks. You will get some god awful UI that often requires cryptic commands or pressing 4 random keys at once that may change completely in every update. Because its people who absolutely dont understand even the basic idea of UI making it.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:56:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RamenJunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am not. I've been using this shit for like 20 years now. Its almost universal.
jeffbaier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And to be fair to coders and designers everywhere... Good UX and UI design are really fucking hard.
Hannachomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UI/UX designer. Went to art school and got a BFA. My coding skills are very limited.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
imguralbumbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm a bot for linking direct images of albums with only 1 image
https://i.imgur.com/PdLdMw0.jpg
Source | Why? | Creator | ignoreme | deletthis
arbitrarily-random ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt realize The Rock was a comedy???
LastStar007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put it on MovieDetails
halberdierbowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we're looking for plausible reasons, it's possible this was a plot reserved for his family. He might have a future spot right next to hers, and his inscription would include "her husband" or similar.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:08:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
arbitrarily-random ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense to me.
Peanut2232 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:33:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well perhaps the issue is dramatizing a program running.
logicalmaniak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's why I respect the makers of Mr Robot. They do mostly real things, but the drama is brought out between people and using sweeping closeups.
Also the Star Trek computers were designed to be screen-friendly while being realistically functional.
There are ways of doing things that don't end in geeks cringing.
KudagFirefist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Counterpoint
FinFihlman ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:02:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But that is catering to the stupid people.
Granted it brings in money but it's still for stupid people instead of smart.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:28:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Film person" my ass. The best way to do an absolutely stupid scene like that is to skip over it. It's a complete waste of screen time
SteampunkBorg ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:06:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I've stopped being annoyed by those things. Random animations definitely look better on screen than a progress bar crawling along.
Ioangogo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it can be used comically
i_spot_ads ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:44:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, but i still stand by my previous comment
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not necessarily a terrible idea to meet Hollywood-inspired expectations, even as a low-level analyst:
'application.screenupdating = false'
'application.screenupdating = true'
Ayjayz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm an audience...
Sahbak ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:02:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, ATMs have a fake noise to let people know it's working so it isn't very far fetched.
Imsomoney ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:00:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's not true. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=QI8u6BPGuIE
Vtly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:24:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. Thank you man. Every time when i need one banknote i hear that noise and expect more money.
ILikeLenexa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were having a bit of a competition for awhile to see who could get the most ridiculous computer stuff approved.
filledwithgonorrhea ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it's just for entertainment value. It's like electronic slot machines. The outcome is predetermined as soon as you press the button but the lights and random pictures make it suspenseful and fun.
Also I think a programmer putting a dumb feature like that at the request of the customer is much more likely than the programmer saying, "No I won't do that, take your money and leave."
HaykoKoryun ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:19:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of my first year reading computer science at university. We had to create a game with Java and most people were putting a splash screen before loading the game, as you do. However the splash screen class was part of the game so Java had loaded everything that was needed to run the game so the splash screen was unnecessary and even never showed up, so they started adding delays to make sure it appeared. No one figured out to use Java's reflection to make the splash screen appear as fast as possible and then instantiate the game from there.
incnorm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry what?
HaykoKoryun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haven't written Java in ages, (this was sometime in 2005/6) but if I remember correctly reflection allows you to create instances of a Class resolved at runtime and not compile time, so with the splash screen example the compiler doesn't know ahead of time which other classes to load.
ImranBepari ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:13:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of comp sci course gets you to make a game... in Java?
malcolm_tucker_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:55:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't seem like an awful choice given the market share of Java. My university teaches Java too - although we don't make a game with it.
ImranBepari ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Java's great, and it's probably what I'm most proficient at, but it doesn't have the performance required for something like games imo. Im just surprised they're using Java in that context.
malcolm_tucker_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:31:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the context of a game for a university project, you likely don't need that much performance. I'd agree that for commercial games a different language would more likely be used (for speed and also for much better game libraries). Saying that, Minecraft is written in Java, so it is possible.
humblevladimirthegr8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:15:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's an actual Game Dev major, most people learn Java in comp sci, and games are a fun way to learn the concepts.
ImranBepari ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The learning Java bit is completely fine for a Comp Sci major, but Im just surprised at making a game in it, since it's not a great choice for that kind of thing.
humblevladimirthegr8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it was fine for my AP-CS course. I made a 2D battle game. Nothing fancy, Java was fine. I'm sure if I needed high-performance 3D graphics with a physics engine I'd have to look elsewhere, but for a classroom final project it's fine.
HaykoKoryun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This anecdote is from 2005 mind you.
Tyg13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:52 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In 2016 every single one of my first semester comp sci projects was game-related and the entire class was done in Java. Things don't change much in the software world, at least, not quickly.
alaskanloops ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:03:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaunixsystem
sw1sh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say this like it's a joke, yet in the software I work on people don't believe that it can do a search as quickly as it does, so we literally have a settimeout() call when doing a search so it shows the "Searching..." page for at least two seconds...
Ben_Wynaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username does not check out.... yet
NotReallyThePunisher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need more from this software! We needed to identify a wrinkle pattern beneath a suspects ear, but werent able to pull a interactive 3D photorealistic hologram in order to do so, please just get it done.
And while youโre at it, limitless enhancement triggered by zooming the hologram would be nice to have.
BHughes3388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not investing until an update. Never used it but Iโll rate it a 2/5 stars.
Edit: fucking Apple App Store review.
insane0hflex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not using semantic versioning....
Tsk tsk
JonnyBhoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant, the software will never be used to catch a murderer anyway. That will be down to a relateable detective figuring something out in their head.
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
APIuser12321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
TheImminentFate ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 10:28:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You joke but Iโve had to do this for someone who simply didnโt trust the fact that a thousand transactions in a bank statement could be parsed in less than a second.
...So I solved it with one line:
And everyone was happy again
Harakou ยท 237 points ยท Posted at 10:33:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a good day when I get to link to this story.
_cortex ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 11:40:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oooh, now link the one where they had to fit their whole application into 4MB, and then after they couldn't find any more optimizations the boss deletes his 2MB dummy buffer
ezylot ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 12:28:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I... want to read this one..
I need to know
moderntechnology ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 14:00:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, scroll down to โThe Programming Antiheroโ:
https://www.gamasutra.com/view/feature/132500/dirty_coding_tricks.php?page=4
More stories:
vavoysh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:35:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that was great.
migueeel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:47 on March 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit that "free memory buffer" idea is genius! Just make sure to communicate it to everyone so they don't start turning your game into minecraft aesthetics.
Robots_Never_Die ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
kare_kano ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:02:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://thedailywtf.com/
Have fun.
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:37 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Set ad blockers to kill.
TheImminentFate ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:30:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because itโs not ethical doesnโt mean itโs not legal right?
Leocletus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:45:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intentionally misrepresenting a material fact that somebody is meant to rely on and in fact does rely on to their detriment is the definition of fraud. So this activity does look unlawful.
There are of course also contractual issues; assuming the employment contract includes a clause prohibiting anything like this, it would potentially be a breach of contract as well.
It would also possibly be cause to be fired. So while it might not provide a cause of action, this could have legal consequences to the extent that the employer can legally fire them without any sort of compensation, even if they had a severance package in their contract, for example. So while not unlawful per se, legal consequences flowing from this action could have material ramifications, essentially turning employer actions from unlawful to lawful, which has some of the same effects as turning the employees actions from lawful to unlawful.
There may be other legal issues there. But yeah, these are at least a few problems off the top of my head.
Shpitzick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:11:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
Dappershire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked.
TCJW_designs ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 11:17:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a car finance broker for a few years as their in house designer. We had tech that instantly checked an applicant's credit against all the lenders we had on the system so we could match them without leaving a credit footprint.
Talking to the lead developer, going through the spec of the site, he mentions they've put a "please wait" loading screen for a few seconds after the application has been submitted, because customers didn't believe it could do it all instantly and they wanted to show they were being "careful" with their credit information or some shit.
As much as we advertised we had an amazing proprietary system that gave instant results, it turned out that people just think you're lying if it's that fast ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
anothga ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:42:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here, you dropped this. \
TCJW_designs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:49:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I knew I lost it somewhere!
cotyrobisz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's a credit footprint? Like a trace of your requests?
TCJW_designs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:04:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah so every time you apply for credit it leaves a trace that a company has checked your credit file and too many searches on your file will impact a lenderโs decision on whether they will give you credit (among many other factors). This is what I refer to as the credit footprint.
The company I worked for (and almost all other brokers these days) did a โsoftโ credit search which got all the info they needed to match the customer with the right provider, but wouldnโt be seen by lenders and therefore wouldnโt impact your credit at all, so they could say to the customer โyouโre matched with lender x and lender y, and you should expect to pay z% interest on the loanโ. If the customer wanted to go forwards, theyโd then be fully searched but you have a bit more peace of mind that you should get the loan that youโre expecting.
Sorry long answer haha ๐
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TCJW_designs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm not either, Iโm in the UK. Though Iโm sure itโs similar in the US too
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TCJW_designs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:52:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, yeah it can be. I think the takeaway is that credit is pretty messed up everywhere, and you should only really apply for a loan or card if you know you can pay it off โบ๏ธ and donโt spam applications everywhere because itโll bite you on the ass
labortooth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:56:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada here, are there any developed nations that don't use a similar system?
Orthas_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:34 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Finland here. We dont have similar score system. Only if you have severe problems with payments you get added to registry banks can access.
kare_kano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by similar system? Most of Europe forbids anybody but banks from accessing a person's credit situation and history, only as part of the process of granting a new loan or consolidating, and it doesn't carry any penalties.
There isn't a credit "score" as such, but the authority that centralizes this information knows how much you're currently making (it gets reported directly from employers) and what loans you currently have, and there are even laws that say you can't indebt yourself over a certain percentage of what you're making. That's actually one of the main goals of the system.
TCJW_designs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:30:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Getting a little beyond the point of the original post but thought Iโd say I agree mostly. That being said, there are so many people in debt beyond what they could ever afford, and itโs something I really believe should be part of the curriculum for teenagers to learn about the world of credit before they find themselves in debt.
Though there isnโt a โscoreโ there are factors that influence lenders/banks from granting a loan based on things like how long youโve been at your address, if youโre registered to vote, how often you ask for credit and how well you pay back the credit you already have. Any of these things can result in higher interest rates or not getting a loan at all.
๐คทโโ๏ธ
TCJW_designs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm not sure but I doubt it, itโs all based on calculated risk from the bank, and most banks in the developed world work in the same way
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:59:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:19:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:25:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:29:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
XkF21WNJ ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 10:35:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, at least you can just lower the number when they (inevitably) want you to make it faster.
Gaethan ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 11:10:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TheImminentFate ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 11:35:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I should have started with a higher number.
Gaethan ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 11:38:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay, you can raise it slightly every time there's a feature update, so they'll think the new features are making it slower. Then you can reduce it in a "performance update".
Jetbooster ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 14:19:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh hey look, it's apple's iOS team
RenaKunisaki ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:58:04 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sw429 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't be surprised if this is more or less how their os code actually looks.
anothga ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:41:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real life pro tips are always in the comments.
ENSJAM ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The good old speed-up loop
https://thedailywtf.com/articles/The-Speedup-Loop
Cheesemacher ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:17:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a very real thing that some kind of progress bar gives users confidence in the program, that it actually did something.
See: Benevolent Deception in Human Computer Interaction
KamiKagutsuchi ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 10:31:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That must hurt..
Wouto1997 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:31:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh god
Kormoraan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:46:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sweet jesus, this one hurts...
odraencoded ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This kind of bullshit is in design books. Literally. It's UX. And that's pretty damn sad :(
Fernredit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:49:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not programmer but I always assumed those waits when searching from the travel sites are fake. Can you confirm this for me?
tdave365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same reason that some phone voice control systems include a "bubbling noise" while fetching transaction data or looking up some bit of information, I have to imagine.
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That explains why bank transactions take so long in some places. /s I personally couldn't do that to myself.
TheImminentFate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are likely legitimately slower due to network speeds and the security measures in place to prevent fraudulent use
RenaKunisaki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:54 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We've all had those moments where we had to check to make sure it actually did something because no way it finished that fast.
Sickamore ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Humans are a flawed, stupid, shitty species.
7HawksAnd ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 11:12:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a joke, but thatโs what Facebook does with their newsfeed.
They are able to pull accurate most recents right away, but they found users kept refreshing the feed because they didnโt believe that first load was accurate.
That shimmer empty state load thing it does? They fake it so people will believe theyโre actually searching for the most up to date results.
misterrespectful ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:45:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about the shimmering thing, but I don't believe the state I'm looking at is correct because it's often not correct.
Just yesterday I was watching a private group for some scheduling-related comments I expected to see. After an hour, I hit reload, just to be sure, and was greeted with 3 hours worth of missed comments that had never loaded. Even the red update number in the header bar hadn't appeared. I'd been listening to internet radio the whole time, so I know my connection was good.
If they want me to stop hitting Reload all the time, they're going to have to make it reliable.
Dent18 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:08:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facebook's news feed is such bullshit. There's so much clutter and predicative suggestions and overthinking
relevant tweet
King_Joffreys_Tits ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:22:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel that they also wanna show it off. It does look good as a loading screen, and id want users to see it if I spent a bunch of time looking at it.
The loading icon I made for my app is awesome imo and I have it stay for a minimum of half a second. Facebooks is longer, and maybe they had an exact reason for their amount of time it loads
RenaKunisaki ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:02:09 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of video games do this too. It takes a millisecond to save but the animation takes a second just so you feel like it actually did something.
TheEdward162 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:30:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in highschool we joined a game coding competition and one of the requirements was to put the organizers logo somewhere in the game, so we put it on loading screens. Except the pixelated graphics and a few audio files loaded almost instantly, so we had to add a delay so the loading screen would show for at least a second.
Jsdo1980 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:27:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great username
Majora320 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:00:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RedditSilver
ILovePlaterpuss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:00:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is it with users and saying "please advise" I swear with my last company every single bug report ended with it.
mith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We write modeling and simulation software and this is one of the complaints from our managers. He doesn't feel comfortable demonstrating the software to potential customers because it runs too fast. The people we're dealing with are used to very detailed models that take a long time to run. If they can't get up and go get a cup coffee while the model's running, then it must not be doing anything but spitting back demo data. And the manager doesn't know enough about what's going on to explain how we're able to process so much data so quickly.
We solved this problem by adding a wait screen and timer with compile flags for him, so he's got the only version that takes at least a minute to run.
Astrangerindander ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:34:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must have been profile 1. That's right, their array of faces starts at 1
thinkaboutitthough ยท 1022 points ยท Posted at 12:34:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer IRL: Umm...are you sure about this part? Maybe it would be better if... no? Okay, I'll build the face thing (dies a little more inside)
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 280 points ยท Posted at 12:36:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the programmer feels.
ferrousoxides ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 12:53:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you don't want to be dead inside, read up on some real product design literature. I recommend The Design of Everyday Things, and the Apple Interface Guidelines circa 2007 when they still knew what they were doing.
misterrespectful ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:02:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience, all engineers have read those books. That's why we feel dead inside, because we know it can be better. The problem is how to get our managers to read them.
I had one manager who had "Mythical Man-Month" on his desk, and claimed he'd read it, but that it didn't really apply any more, and we didn't need any of its lessons, anyway, since he was a SCRUM MASTER!
BlindMidget_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:02:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Clean Coder is also a very good book for learning how to respond to stupid demands from the project manager!
READERmii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Links?
MikeOShay ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:10:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, even if it's stupid, if the customer wants it, it's billable
luke_in_the_sky ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 16:52:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a front-end developer, in my last job half of time spent on a project was delaying every single action to satisfy the designer desires.
"It's displaying the results instantly. That way they can't see my loading animation"
"You can't show the message immediately. You need to make it fade in and bounce"
misterrespectful ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 18:10:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gee, if the delay before showing results was supposed to be a particular time interval, maybe you should have put it in the spec. Lacking any specific guidance in this case, I went with the industry standard.
Then it's not a loading animation, is it? That was rather poorly named, so perhaps you can see why I was confused. What you actually designed was a "make users wait for no reason" animation.
Which requirement number was this? It's not in there? Ah, so my implementation is correct, and you're changing the specification on us at the last minute. Got it.
luke_in_the_sky ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:39:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"spec" LOL
Dallaireous ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:22:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"agile"
WelshMullet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:46:41 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see that in the acceptance criteria. You'll have to open a new story and describe the value that it adds... can't explain the value? Story ain't ready, it's not going in the sprint.
guanzo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:49:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, instantaneous results can be very jarring. If itโs too fast, it can look like nothing happened at all. Sometimes Iโll intentionally make something load for one second, to make the user understand that something is actually happening.
luke_in_the_sky ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:10:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm not complaining this part. My job is to make things run smoother, faster and easier to use. Making the user aware something changed and didn't appear from nowhere is good practice.
But this guy animations were like 3 or 5 seconds and I had to play it all before showing the results. An alert had to blink, move, fade and shot sparkles.
He was pretty old school. I've seen his portfolio and it was full of flash websites with loading screens. With HTML5 he wanted to put everything he could to make it "looks dynamic", so there was a lot of parallax, background videos, heavy transitions, things bouncing everywhere...
He was like "Look at the Apple website. When you scroll, the iPhone moves. Let's do it." but instead of an object smoothly moving in background it had to spin, change shape, blink like neon lights and make the text flow around it. All at the same time.
DroidLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, fucking shit, just kill me. Next time feed in a huge data set so the designer can see his loading animation and just keep it the way it is.
etherfreeze ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:02:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like:
PM: hey build a thing that does a thing kthxbye
Programmer: K, here's a working thing
PM: (on vacation)
UX Designer: So this software is a little too good, our test users are not confident that it's actually analyzing faces. Programmer: Whatever, I can throw a progress bar in?
UX: Eh maybe a flashy spinner. But also, the user really needs a satisfying visual representation...
Programmer: ... of how the algorithm works or ... ?
UX: mmm, no, more like how they think it works.
Programmer: So just cycle through an array of random blurry faces under a random spinner?
UX: Exactly - and throw in some sound and particle effects for good measure, I'll loop in the UI designer.
Programmer: This will all slow down the software.
UX: Even better
yehmum ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:51:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or respect your own input and tell them it's a bad idea.
misterrespectful ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:04:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the manager respected my input, they wouldn't have gone off and designed a complete (shitty) system on their own and dropped it in my lap at the last minute.
The kind of manager who does this in the first place is the kind of manager who will respond to that with "Well, I'm the manager, and you're just the programmer, so build it my way."
thinkaboutitthough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely part of your job to speak up and tell your boss when you see a better way to do something. Also part of your job to suck it up and do it his way when he turns your idea down. You won't last long in any job if you can't do the second part.
yehmum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep yep
misterrespectful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer thinking: This is the dumbest thing I've heard all year. My dog could design a better system than this clown. Well, I don't want to get fired today, so let's try to phrase this in a way that's more tactful than "You're an idiot." I'll offer a way out that lets everyone save face! Programmer speaking: OK, seems fine, but are you sure about this part? Maybe it would be better if we did it a different way. The engineering team could brainstorm some ideas...
Manager thinking: ???
Manager speaking: Yes, absolutely I'm sure, let's do it my way!
Programmer: facepalm
bluefootedpig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:21 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, Marketing did their research and found users liked it when it did that pointless task.
(the amount of UI design driven by marketing makes me sad)
mattmu13 ยท 1146 points ยท Posted at 10:12:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I built a brute-force hash cracking program at a place I used to work that opened up an offline file from the client, took some configuration options and then worked through all the possibilities.
It was more of a "I wonder if I could" moment to see what would happen and how long it would take rather than needing to do it for work.
It was pretty fast but looked really boring so I included an option to have the hashes and guesses flash up on the screen to make it look like the films.
Looked much nicer but slowed the whole thing way down.
Edit: I know there are lots of ways to speed it up, like separating threads and only showing nth guesses. I could have even updated it for parallel computing but there was no point as it was made as a testbed and replaced with an alternate method a couple of days later. Thank you for taking an interest though and providing ideas on how to improve the concept.
[deleted] ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 10:31:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mattmu13 ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 10:36:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could have optimised the program in lots of ways but ended up finding quicker ways around the problem than brute-force. Still, it was fun to see what would happen.
LoneCookie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:47:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have a different thread for the GUI polling it would be better
adtac ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:37:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And in display here, we have a classic case of enterprise over-engineering. Onto the next section on how to write spaghetti code..."
LoneCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:40:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends which language you built it in
luke_in_the_sky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you could just play a gif
szymonwalle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shhhhhhhhhut up.
Soren11112 ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 11:58:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I built an Arduino device for a school project, 50% of the code was just for the scrolling through random letters to replace the asterisk effect on the title screen...
mattmu13 ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 12:26:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's always fun to make it look like the movies. I read an article a while back that covered how humans perceive time and that sometimes software responses needed to be slowed down so the user would believe something was actually happening rather than a fault.
Even as a developer I've had this happen to me. I go to download a file and it's done without seeing any progress bar or estimated time and I go check thinking I've downloaded a 404.html page or something instead of the actual file.
Ossyrial ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 13:10:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As pointed out by someone else in this thread, Facebook does the same. If you reload your feed, FB can instantly show accurate results. However, users didn't believe that these were accurate and up-to-date, so Facebook added a useless loading thing on your feed, so users were more convinced that the data was more up-to-date.
812many ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:45:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For old game handheld games, saving your game was at the speed of instantaneous because there was so little data. We put in a little animation and the message โdonโt remove cartridgeโ even though there was no way you could hit the button and remove the cartridge faster than it could save. Made everyone feel better.
gprime312 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:30:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funnily enough, the WR speedrun of the original Pokemon games requires resetting/taking out the cartridge at a specific point during a game save to corrupt some of the memory.
CharCharThinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this one is bounded by your connection and hard drive so it's actually reasonable to expect a noticeable delay.
mattmu13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:01:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...but when you go from slow broadband to a fiber connection and download the same size files and they're done instantly it can sometimes take a while to get used to.
EcoSlaves ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 11:57:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hash crack sounds awesome.
Gaothaire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corned beef hash is the sodium-packed breakfast of champions
EcoSlaves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the hash I was talking about but for real cbh is life
[deleted] ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 11:08:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mattmu13 ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 11:25:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I could have done a lot of things to optimise it. I was just something I was playing with to see what would happen.
I think I used it for a couple of days before finding alternate ways around the problem.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 11:40:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rullelito ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:57:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or buy a faster computer!
Kazath ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 12:42:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes the time-honored tradition of throwing additional hardware at a software problem
easy_going ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just push everything on the graphics card :)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:43:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TheLinksOfAdventure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can you know that? He doesn't say what language or platform he used.
Illusi ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:07:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it slowed the thing down you probably showed too many guesses. The trick is to show only 1 in 100 or so randomly. By selecting randomly you get a bit of erratic scrolling too which looks better than constant regular intervals. So, give every try a 1% chance of being displayed on the screen.
mattmu13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was just loading the hash/pass guess into fields rather than scrolling, but yeah, I could have taken every nth guess to speed things up.
If it had have been worth it I would have spent time optimising the program but I found an easier method so it was just a testbed that didn't last long.
TerraChron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote a script once that had to analyze coordinate data from eye-tracking software, filter out useless data and "clean up" the rest, but it could take minutes on longer recording sessions, during which my computer would freeze up. After being berated several times for just sitting around while the computer did its thing, I changed it up so it would show, green text on black background, everything in the buffer, super-fast matrix scroll, while I looked at it knowingly sipping my coffee. Wasn't bothered again after that.
mattmu13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is what those annoying circular loading animation things are for ;-p
mrbeehive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:53 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked on a radio data transfer thing a few weeks ago.
To debug, we made it show the binary data that came across the wire so we could verify the whole thing got through error free. Tried sending an image with that option still turned on. Entered the matrix.
RamenJunkie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:03:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now Inimagining these cop shows where they say it will take a few days to run the test. Then the cop is like "What if we turn off the picture scroll" and its done in 2 minutes.
psi- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:25:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a course at the university and the prof seemed really bright. This was somekind of O-notation+ -course, maybe algorithms & stuff one and he was demoing us the difference between difference between sorting algos. He somehow ended up coding stuff live while starting the demos and I saw that his examples ran slow; like even his laptop should've done the stuff real fast. What he was doing he was using ANSI terminal codes to format his printouts (rewrite previous output) which probably obscured how much he was doing output.
Anyways, even small amount of output will fuck up all and any algorithm speed measures because at that time program leaves it's kernel-granted timeslot and yields it to kernel which gives the "print message" to other process that actually does the output (even graphical if we're rxvt or somesuch). When printing is done, the program might not get its timeslot back and will have to wait until all other contenders are done.
funnystuff97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, boredom drives exactly that. I wrote a BOGO sort, threw in 10 random numbers, had each attempt print out its guess, and just watched the lines fill up for a few minutes. Rudimentary, sure, but fun.
IllHeir ยท 1513 points ยท Posted at 07:47:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, if there is a photo and the picture is not clear, saying ENHANCE should make that pixelated bitch so clear that you can see every single pore on their face.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1362 points ยท Posted at 07:48:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No problem. And if the 2-D photo was taken from the wrong angle, we'll just rotate it.
IllHeir ยท 452 points ยท Posted at 07:52:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see that you are also a smart, successful Project Manager
GreatValueProducts ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 12:28:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbCWYm7B_B4
ganlet20 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:08:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If criminals are going to repurpose 1970s era spaceships to fly to Jupiter to recover some buried plutonium. Then I have no problem with the police having 3d security footage they can rotate.
PS, I'd love a customer implementation of the "frisk" feature.
theonethatyouwant ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:04:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what the fuck was that? I like it...
GreatValueProducts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:30:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NTSF:SD:SUV, some parody action/police drama. Each episode lasts 15 minutes. I had some good laugh from it. It has a lot of funny parody of CSI.
Martinspire ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 10:51:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the new screens should popup at random locations with random sizes instead of at the center of the screen or simply maximised
frizbplaya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can that be added to the current sprint before it's released?
sviridovt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if it still doesn't work, just remember, you can always review thermal satellite footage of movement inside a building 12 years ago.
Legin_666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
both of these ideas can and will be done by neural networks
antimatterchopstix ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 10:03:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then extrapolate the mirror image in the guy across the roadโs glasses to see the number plate on the front of the car.
jamesaw22 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 10:20:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
tiny-timmy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll actually get to this point soon, as long as there are enough pixels
HildartheDorf ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 10:20:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then get the reflection in the number plate to get an image of the killer. Genius!
IllHeir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Promotion for you my dude
brombaer3000 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 10:33:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go, you will just need to add voice controls: https://github.com/alexjc/neural-enhance
zeugma25 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:58:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at 1.06, is that george peppard or steve martin?
TerraChron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Martin in the Pink Panther remake.
zeugma25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
cclloyd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:15:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It should serve the images on low resolution at first; that way when they tell "ENHANCE", it can serve the full resolution image.
happeloy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:01:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also to activate the enhance function, you should have to enter about three to five lines of random code. But not in a textview or any kind of visual feedback on what you are writing, just straight start writing code.
barsoap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:33:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bladerunner. That's all Bladerunner's fault.
gringrant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or we just enhance over and over again and zoom way in to see their DNA.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:57:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pore? Fingerprints from a surface, said the TV.
multbe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But do it via a command line interface. We donโt have spare ram for a GUI after loading all those jpegs.
CollectableRat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually an "enhance" voice command in Photoshop would be useful when you just want to see what your image looks like with Adobe's smart filters automatically applied.
VoodooMonkiez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could just pixelate the shit out of the photos on upload then enhance removes a small layer of pixelation!
OfficialDudeGuy ยท 338 points ยท Posted at 09:09:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I won't think it's stupid, for money.
2Punx2Furious ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 09:56:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can do stupid things, for money.
rudevdr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can not act stupid, for money.
Redrum714 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea you do that for free
Clepto_EU ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 12:06:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Describes every job ever.
Heysteeevo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:07:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a second, whoโs paying me to yell at you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I just kept crawling and it just kept working."
FlyingRhenquest ยท 411 points ยท Posted at 10:15:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine is a skydiver and was bitching about the wingsuit scene in the new Point Break being completely ridiculous. I told him "Welcome to every hacking movie I've ever watched." Though I was kind of impressed with Mr Robot when one of the guys uses find and routes stdout to /dev/null so it'll only print the error messages and tell him if there are any directories on the system he doesn't have access to, thus uncovering the evil rootkit. That's really a lot of attention to detail for a scene that lasts a few seconds and which would probably not be noticed even by most regular Linux users.
ehco ยท 180 points ยท Posted at 10:22:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr robot went out of its way to put this kind of detail into all the eps, just great work!
Kn0thingIsTerrible ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 11:13:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The writers had a lot of time left over for those kind of details after scribbling โWhat if Fight Club was ten hours long?โ and calling it a day.
PM_ME_CAKE ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 11:55:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's only S1 though. S3 is a completely different type of beast.
biggustdikkus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S3 was shit.
"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MRROBOTO MAI FRIENDO PLZ NO KEEEL!" S4 will be good though.
PM_ME_CAKE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:29:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If that's the only thing you got out of that season then sure, it'll be a disappointment. Luckily for me at least, that's not the only thing I cared for in that season. In fact characters other than Elliot and Mr Robot have tendencies to be largely more interesting at times. Angela, Price and Whiterose are to just name but a few.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
biggustdikkus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:12 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ja.
2 dead and Iran in the last episode IIRC.
stephen1547 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:23:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely accurate description.
ehco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:15 on January 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's lucky I love fight club and would welcome a 10 hour version of it where the narrator was a socially anxious, drug addicted hacker. Plus, yknow, every season other than 1...
sageDieu ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:33:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the guys that puts together all the tech sequences wrote a blog for most of season 3, here's one of my favorites:
https://medium.com/@ryankazanciyan/mr-robot-disassembled-3-4-runtime-error-r00-9319c70c30f2
ehco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:35 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just awesome, his blog is so detailed, many specific commands described, diagrams, the output that he spoofed and links to documentation to compare it to real world output! This blog is better documentation than pretty much every real world in-house system I've ever worked on lol!
HildartheDorf ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 10:21:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless it's so bad-it's-good, then even 'one of us' can just remove brain and enjoy the flashing pacman virus in the garbage files.
Just don't try and be realistic IF YOUR NOT GOING TO BE REALISTIC.
cotyrobisz ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:46:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like in hackers where they were flying through the computer?
Theratchetnclank ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:19:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That shit was dope.
FlyingRhenquest ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:42:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sure, it's just kind of neat to be able to relate to someone not in tech about having to do that.
SpeculativeFiction ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:04:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I vastly prefer magical explanations for zombies. If they tell me a mundane virus reanimates corpses to not require food, water, or shelter ever again, become violent with humans but peaceful with each other, and survive horrific wounds (again, basically indefinately) and being frozen "alive", then my brain will try to eat itself.
If the movie tells me magic did it, or is a comedy, rather than a serious attempt at horror, everything is kosher.
ThingYea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:36 on January 22, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But magic isn't realistic! /s
memeirou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:56:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They actual hired a real hacker to help them legitimize their hacking so they didnโt end up like NCIS
NotANinja ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your comment reads like a TVTropes description.
HildartheDorf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:15:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was referring to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bmz67ErIRa4
So yes, pretty much.
cube-drone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:11:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HACK THE PLANET!!!
jeffbaier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, the "Hackers" effect.
omgzrob ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 10:53:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when Trinity using nmap in one of the matrix sequels was a big deal, Mr Robot is fucking awesome for all of the detail it puts in
illegalt3nder ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:29:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was so conflicted during that scene. Yeah, she used nmap, which is awesome. BUT she was doing so while wearing leather gloves.
K.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:26:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just mixing business with pleasure.
biggustdikkus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:26:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't hack while wearing leather gloves, balaclava and a hoodie?
Fucking amateurs, I hope you get caught..
otakuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She probably downloaded the glove-typing skill.
jeffbaier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a special trenchcoat I put on when I do penetration testing.
failing_forwards ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The wingsuit stunt was filmed 100% practically though, why did he find it ridiculous? Not charging in defense of that movie lol but I am curious about what his issues with that scene were.
Kormoraan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:57:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wew I should really start watching this series...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs great Iโm currently re watching S2
frankThePlank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:08:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a new Point Break?
FlyingRhenquest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, they did a reboot of it just recently. I didn't see it myself, but I hear it wasn't very good (And not just from my skydiving friend.)
otakuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The actors were trained to actually type the exact command line when doing some hack. The software would only recognize the correct command and display the scripted output when the actor typed the thing right.
Another wonderful detail in S1E1 was when he started calling customers to get their security questions. Social engineering has been neglected for a long time in hacking shows.
michaelrohansmith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studios do so much rendering these days that they are likely to have a few decent *nix gurus on staff so they can just ask them for some realistic shell commands.
vman315 ยท 846 points ยท Posted at 07:45:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sure why not let slow down the execution of the code by having it select and display random pictures while searching through a database of millions of faces for matches.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 620 points ยท Posted at 07:45:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like the CPU is doing much at that point.
vman315 ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 07:52:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a script that I ran at my old job to terminate accounts and users that were no longer with the company. It used to verbose everything that it did and I mean everything that it did, if it was searching for something in one of the systems or if it was modifying something it, verbose every single thing it did and it looks pretty sweet but it took about 2 minutes to execute and terminate 30 accounts. However whenever I disabled all verbose it executed in 45 seconds. Needless to say I was completely surprised at that performance hit just from writing to console.
oppilonus ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 08:04:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give your boss version 1.0 then two months later tell him you increased productivity by over 100% and unveil 2.0
vman315 ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 08:05:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I totally could have done that, but I actually wrote that script for me nobody else in the company knows that it exists.
oppilonus ยท 171 points ยท Posted at 08:18:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"vman315, you're done already? here, do more stuff".
lukaas33 ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The advantage of people not having a clue how to do the stuff you do is that you can make it seem as simple or difficult as you want.
vman315 ยท 117 points ยท Posted at 08:43:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what I did. Because before me it used to be four different people doing all of it. The entire process by hand took about 20 minutes per person if they had access to all the user systems like desk phone, a voice mail, exchange mailboxes, a fax account, backing up all their personal data from the network, purging the data from the network, forwarding whatever they needed from their desk phones to maybe their email or rerouting their faxes, initiating a backup of their computer if it was on the network at the time, and one more thing but I can't remember what it is off the top my head.
Before I wrote this I literally had days where I did nothing but terminate people's access to systems and I mean days sometimes two maybe three or four if we lay off a few branches or whatever.
FaKeNeWsBeLiEbEr ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 11:29:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lay off a few branches?? Oh man. ๐
vman315 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 11:34:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a branch was underperforming or region was well they got the cut or they paid a massive fine.
saif1457 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A fine payable only in blood.
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:45:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, the branch was required to pay the difference if it didn't meet the agreed monthly goal.
installation_warlock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:43 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I may ask, what business was your company in? I'm curious what line of work includes laying off entire branches not during extreme reforms, but as part of standard operations.
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:42 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mortgage lending.
voNlKONov ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:03:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This just seems so horribly depressing/dystopian. Maximizing the efficiency of firing people. Yuck.
vman315 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 12:24:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but it is the same as being mortician basically. Someone has to do it.
qubist1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:36:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really. The script that they are talking about isnโt actually doing the firing... those people were already getting fired, itโs just making it so people donโt have to do a bunch of repetitive labor to tell the systems they use that those people got fired.
Still sucks tho
dawnraider00 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:19:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you automate your job, but tell no one, so they think it still takes a long time and boom, now you have free time.
i_am_a_n00b ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:16:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that. Good work here is more work. Or what is taking you so long.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:47:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just start the process when you'd normally be 75% done manually. Saves enough time to get noticed, but not enough to receive more work. Also lets you fuck off the difference.
oppilonus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:25 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy fucks off.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the only one doing the job and the only know who knows how to do it from start to finish. If you can make it easier for yourself without missing anything then you may as well.
Work smarter, not harder.
dhaninugraha ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 08:51:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd usually verbose my scripts but have them output to a logfile rather than console. It does help with runtime somewhat. I then
catortailthe logfile, if everything seems OK then I go about my business. Otherwise fix the script then re-run.vman315 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:02:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After I saw the performance difference I made it log out to file instead of write to console, but I added a switch to write to console if I wanted to.
dhaninugraha ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 09:34:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welp. Do you happen to be my separated-at-birth twin brother?
This is how I usually log my stuff:
EDIT:
moopet ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 10:04:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of animal abbreviates "message" to "mssg"?
dhaninugraha ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 10:12:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guilty as charged.
Kormoraan ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 10:49:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AskingTheRealQuestions
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:31:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev traumatized after working on monosodium glutamate related applications for too long.
sldyvf ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:49:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just a thought, is there not much overhead with opening the file time and time again?
dhaninugraha ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:00:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, I never got to measure my approach (open logfile each time I wanna log) vs having the logfile open from the beginning of the script and close it on exception or script end, so I can't answer that yet... Interesting point though.
vman315 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:26:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What I did was I made it a function that added to an array and on every I think it was 50th call of the function it dumped to the file, that way the memory usage didn't get too large from the array holding all that data and didn't have to continuously call that file to write to it.
sldyvf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:33:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's an approach I didn't even think of... I was thinking,
And
Something along that pseudo code
dhaninugraha ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:42:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason why I did it my way is because I often like to
tail -fthe logfile and see what's going on real-time. This is kind of moot though, as I timestamp each line anyway, and could always open the file to compare timestamps between each logged action.I'll be sure to try your approach when I get back to work. Thanks!
vman315 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:04:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, and mine did actually time stamp it to it put it into an array consisting of three things: timestamp, message type, message. I prefer to log mine in CSV or SQL.
Valmond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now we know what you do with all that spare time...
WhAtEvErYoUmEaN101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:29:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least on Windows it's a noticeable difference as there is some weird rate limiting on handles. Or it's just slow, I don't know.
dhaninugraha ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:33:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, TIL. I have yet to experience such slowdown on the Ubuntu servers I usually run the script in, so there's that.
michaelrohansmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah best put in __Init__()
NoetherFan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:37:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
if mode in { 'all', 'console' }:
dhaninugraha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep,
mode in ["all", "console"]also works.NoetherFan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:55:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just profiled a bit in iPython:
List method is slower (unless mode == 'all', in which case it's faster) because sets membership test in O(1) vs lists O(n).
dhruvrajvanshi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, for lists with 2 members, it's effectively constant time (because your list isn't growing) so I'd go with what's more readable.
thoeoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We do the same thing at our place, but with more options, we also have flags to log to database, and to a pop up window that the user must acknowledge.
And technically itโs not to console but a scrolling text box. We also have it take a debug/warning/error/fatal flag and build in some string format parameters. This is for something way more permanent than just scripts though.
TheTerrasque ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That looks like something that should be a class. Filepath + mode should be class variables, set in init.
.. or just use the built in logger
Maklite ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not too hot on Python but wouldn't that throw a SyntaxError as the second parameter is not defaulted but the first is?
dhaninugraha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, misplaced them both. Log message is supposed to come first, then the logging mode switch. Then if I wanna log to both console and file, I'd simply do
my_logger("The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog"). Should've copy-pasted them from one of my scripts, but oh well...Jigsus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That also slows things down but not as much as console
cowinabadplace ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:02:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interactive IO is unbuffered (for obvious reasons). Thatโs a common pitfall for programs that write a lot to the Terminal. Some Terminal emulators are slow at word wrap and will delay your program even more. Funny, eh?
asdfkjasdhkasd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:03:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just fyi the performance hit of these things usually comes from flushing the buffer rather than just the writing text.
For example in cpp
std::endl;will flush the buffer, causing every line to flush the buffer, making your code very slow.You could probably get a decent speedup without sacrificing verboseness by only flushing the buffer when the os needs you to.
vman315 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry but you're kind of going over my head with that, I mostly write my scripts and Powershell or batch.
UmerHasIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:35:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, printing multiple lines out at once is faster than one at a time, so when you do cout (console output for printing to the console), C++ doesn't print it immediately and instead puts it into a buffer until it hits a newline or the flush command. Most people when writing code want to see the output as it's happening, so they'll feed endl (endline) into cout to force it to flush the buffer, which lessens performance. If you get rid of the endl in your code when it's out of development, you'll get a performance gain and everything will still be printed on the console.
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I almost always ended my strings with a new line when doing output.
imperiusdamian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would \n flush the buffer too or no?
asdfkjasdhkasd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No \n doesn't flush the buffer.
See: http://en.cppreference.com/w/cpp/io/manip/endl
imperiusdamian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Useful to know! :)
za419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Usually. Not necessarily, but most runtimes do flush buffers at newlines
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I've had the same thing happen. There's got to be a delay with any output, even if it's just checking that the output happened.
cloudprogrammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
React Native recommends taking out all console.log() statements in a release build. Eslint even gives a warning haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here I was waiting for a chance to use my 1600Hz screen... /s
FinFihlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Printing to terminal requires cpu cycles usually since it's rarely handled by the gpu (or was rarely handled). Also the terminal application might have been stupidly coded.
Now take into account that you are rendering the screen in cpu and you might understand why it slows down progran execution even if it is just text scrolling by.
Another reason is invoking syscalls.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:26 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes I test different code; if I can tell the output is probably ok for a small sample and want to run a lot, I have to make it less verbose(at least until the results are displayed) because it takes so much longer to print to the console
a1studmuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ever tried running a console script minimised vs visible? Or running a program in verbose mode vs silent mode? TTY outputs can slow down your program a lot, even on modern hardware.
Doctursea ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 10:18:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like when people are downloading the data of a computer and it shows literally everything itโs doing in real time on the screen. Iron man Iโm look at you bud
vman315 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:20:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of just a progress bar or percentage.
GreyouTT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:39:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every non-elevator loading screen in the Mass Effect series would wait for the animation to finish before going back into the gameplay, even if it was done loading before hand.
I hated that shit so much, especially in Mass Effect 2.
vman315 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:00:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is really stupid.
GimmickNG ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:39:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but it makes sense if you think about it, otherwise people would begin to wonder why sometimes the elevator was really fast and why it was really slow, which is not something you want if you want to conceal a progress bar or loading screen.
FunTomasso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIS so much. People love to rag on the elevator loading situations, but at least they were varying in length. Watching the whole load screen scene (that you've seen hundreds of times already) while the game have finished loading 5 seconds ago is just stupid.
I'm sure there was some fan fix of it, though.
Xalaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually really liked them, coming from someone who played 3 before 1. As you descended you got played bits of local news. It was also nice to just enjoy the scenery for a bit.
GreyouTT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually talking about the loading screens that weren't the elevators. I liked the elevator dialogue too.
turbo_sexophonic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:41:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, if you think about it, those aren't random faces. When the program is checking for a match, it is presumably searching a database. Each entry has a face associated with it, so any face shown is probably something that was compared and discarded.
Retrieving and displaying the photo with each iteration is still kinda dumb though.
Defavlt ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:15:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still isn't doing anything. Unless, well, they have their databases on just that single client. Uuugh...
fewaqfgju3ei4ghaeigh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:42:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It shouldn't be checking entries one-by-one. A proper database would have indexes to narrow down the results to relatively close matches before having to do further checking. It would get rid of most results before it even loads a single photo.
John_Fx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except it isnโt actually looking at images unless the search algorithm was created by a moron.
John_Fx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just make a loading animation gif that cycles through the same faces each time.
Java_Beans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't get it. The image search works like humans, it has to show the face on the screen so the computer can see it, duh!
vman315 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the human eye cannot see more then 24 frames a second so it would have to be slower! /s
jackmaney ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 10:20:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the background, can you also display seven lines, all perpendicular to one another?
peepay ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 11:15:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All seven will be red - four of them drawn with blue ink and four with transparent ink.
2cow ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 11:23:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
headasplode.gif
Vectoor ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 13:20:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just need to find a seven dimensional space. Maybe the one Trump plays Jenga in.
DoxBox ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:23:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hear he played against Death in a game of Jenga and won by checkmate.
LrssN ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In sudden death, by scoring a fieldgoal as the goalkeeper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that needs like 8D dimension and is called some fancy word like ortognognalititty.
Countsfromzero ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 11:20:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course I can. I'm an Expert
K00Laishley ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:24:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldnโt the third line be parallel to the first? How would all the lines be perpendicular to each other?
rooktakesqueen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:35:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You understand the concept of a line, surely? And you understand what it means to be perpendicular? Then I don't see the problem here.
(The sketch btw)
EXTRAVAGANT_COMMENT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:12:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
just need a few physicist to figure out how to display in 6 dimensions then sure.
otakuman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god, that clip gave me PTSD.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:31 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Experting intensifies
thijser2 ยท 294 points ยท Posted at 08:16:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well sometimes showing stuff like this makes your user think your program is doing stuff rather than have crashed, in those cases this might not be a bad idea, as long as the extra work isn't slowing you down too much.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 378 points ยท Posted at 08:44:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or even better, the slide show would continue even if the main program has crashed.
thijser2 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 08:50:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obviously, you shouldn't run your calculations on your GUI thread so when they go wrong the GUI shouldn't be affected.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 08:51:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, never mind finding that murderer, we have to make sure it looks right.
IllHeir ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 08:58:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm glad your priorities are straight
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:10 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
whoops turns out it's been picking the first person on the list each time.
michaelrohansmith ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 11:16:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In real life the photo search program runs on a server across the country and the GUI has no access to its working data. Giving it access to rejected images would be a terrible lapse in security.
thijser2 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:18:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was more thinking in terms of just sending a few dozen default images and than letting it loop over them. If something goes wrong with the complicated search the relatively simple looping over say 50 images would not need to be affected.
michaelrohansmith ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:23:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grab them on the fly from a stock image site and flick through them. People will say you are a champion.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:49:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real WTF is always in the comments.
812many ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pictures of arrest data and pictures is often public records, Iโd think. If the person has never been arrested, thereโs got to be lots of violations going on.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, your program crashed. But here is a slide show of Hawaiian beaches to make up for it. Aloha aaa oooeeeeiii
PurdueKenny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:28:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a UX heuristic, โdisplay system status.โ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They do this on the public data search sites. It's quite effective.
smart-username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or ya know... loading symbols!
2Punx2Furious ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 09:52:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you watched s04e03 of Black Mirror?
That's exactly what I thought today while watching it.
-Pelvis- ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 11:03:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I had no idea it was out.
Time to get excited about melancholy!
yreg ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:33:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See you in 6 hours!
-Pelvis- ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:31:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hah, I'm not that lam...wait, did I just watch all of them?!
antonmahesh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:49:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that was 3.5 hours.
-Pelvis- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:53:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm psychic.
ChiliAndGold ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:48:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
damn I wanted to ask the same question
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 12:37:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I thought "I wish 'Black Mirror' would be the first program not to pull this shit".
nemo_nemo_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:39 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I liked episode 1 of season 4, but they played kind of fast and loose with the programming talk in that one.
2Punx2Furious ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:10:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah.
First it's "every button does the same thing, just push anything" (implying the computers are fake), and then they go ahead and "hack" the system somehow.
It was good though, if you can suspend your disbelief.
musicalrapture ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No one is immune.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:53:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Agrees_withyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:53:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see where you're coming from.
luke_in_the_sky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:54:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife was watching this exact scene when I opened this thread.
I think the tablet on s04e02 also has a matching face app.
WazWaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:11:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP did say every. It's at the point where I can't even imagine an alternative implementation that viewers could understand.
2Punx2Furious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:21 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. To be fair to them, making it look cool in a show, especially a futuristic one, is probably more important than making it look accurate.
PredictiveTextReply ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:22:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Than pop lad
[deleted] ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 10:39:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
literal-hitler ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 12:41:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey boss, after the update the inventory software doesn't work on the hardware that a third of our employees use."
"The inventory software is not a priority right now, just make sure they get their inventory entered somehow."
Next week
"There was an update to the inventory software, there are now several more colors available for themes."
wheresmyhouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:56:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you use NetSuite too.
michaelrohansmith ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 11:20:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can say that again. The number of times a manager has started out with good news everybody I have revamped our entire toolchain and then shown us some turd of a system is...well...worrying.
try-catch-finally ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PM: when we get to this part of the mobile app, the user should see an alert box that has an โOption Aโ button and โOption Bโ button.
ME: sounds ok
PM: and a close box, because all the cool web apps have a close box on the alert
ME: wait - what? thereโs only 2 options. its a fork in the road. A or B.. thereโs no โgoing backโ.. what does the close box do?
PM: closes the alert.
ME: but what option does that mean?
PM: it closes the alert
ME: but. there are only 2 options - A or B. the close box is a third, undefined option. for 34 years, alerts get dismissed by descriptive buttons ONLY. what option does the close box represent?
PM: it closes the alert
ME: implements close box ONLY when I detect his user account.
hdvsbakwbdvd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:21:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or more likely, because we're talking about movies it's a visual communication method to tell the audience, who may not even use a computer regularly, that several options are being considered as part of a search.
Honestly guys the spectrum is strong in these parts.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:32:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should also show cars with clear bodies to display gaudy exaggerated pistons firing away to turn a big exaggerated crank shaft and drive shaft clearly connected to the wheels. "Oh, now I get it! Technology demystified!"
misterrespectful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:25:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the #1 root cause of virtually every problem in our industry, from kids with in-app purchases in their video games, to C-level execs playing golf with salesmen to decide what system the company is going to switch to next month, to advertising on social networks and search engines, to emissions control firmware in cars, to smartphones sold under a service contract.
When the incentives are aligned -- like someone buying a $20 indie game off Steam, or an employee buying a $50 desktop app they're going to personally use to do their job more effectively -- software tends to be pretty good, and the users don't tend to have issue with it. Or when they do, it's easy to fix, and the developers are happy to do so.
Unfortunately, people think of most software as invisible, so they think it ought to be zero-cost. That's not feasible, unless you find a clever way to hide the price from the user.
Figure out a way to solve this, and all the rest will sort itself out.
Nerdiator ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 09:40:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also it should make a bunch of bleep bloop noises every time it changes a picture, or wheb you type something. Cuz every fucking program has to make noises according to tv series.
a93H3sn4tJgK ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 17:30:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember in my younger, more rebellious days I would have screamed, โNo Fโing way. Thatโs stupid. Thatโs not even how facial recognition works. Nobody would ever create a facial recognition search that had to display every non-match.โ
Now, as an older, wiser manager, I say, โWhat a great Fโing idea. Iโll shoot you over a change order for that and weโll bill you an additional 180 man hours. Plus weโre going to need a database of faces and a bunch of new graphical stuff. And it will require upgrading the hardware because what youโve got will be too slow and choppy so, figure another $10K in hardware.โ
The Project Managerโs boss calls and says, โHey, I just got an invoice for $150K for some facial recognition special effect!!! What the hell are you guys trying to do, rip me off?โ
And then I say, โNo sir. Not at all. Project Manager added a bunch of new requirements and weโre just billing you at cost for all of the extra work that he wants done.โ
Later that afternoon.
Project Manager calls, โHey, my boss wants to kill the facial recognition thing. Letโs just stick with the original plan.โ
Me, โReally?!?! Wow, that was going to be so killer. Anyway, weโll still have to bill you for the work weโve already done preparing but weโll stop everything right now.โ
Kronikarz ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 10:08:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if it always displays the closest match it has found SO FAR, the results would be pretty similar.
Jetbooster ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:28:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also they always end up with just one person. not, like 500+ which is what you would get off a grainy picture of someone's door mirror
misterrespectful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:28:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it always displays the closest match so far, you'd see exponential decay in the frequency of updates. That would be neat, but I haven't seen any TV shows that did this.
warpfield ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 11:03:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The customer writhed in agony, demanding to know why he was tied up and being interrogated.
โItโs like this.โ the project manager said. โI was having a scrum meeting and the new guy tells me to blow myself. I ask why, and he says all this Agile stuff is bullshit. Itโll take two, three years to finish a game that should only take one. So I tell him, sure, we could design upfront but then it wonโt be what the client wants. So he says, you just tie the client down and beat him til he gives up the design instead of letting him change his mind every sprint. So here we are.โ
NukaWax ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:31:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All those burn-down rates, and โAs a user I need to be able to do X so I need a feature Zโ is such a massive waste of time.
Nobody knows when the project will be done, but they have a hard deadline anyways.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:03:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In what universe is it a waste of time to get exact requirements from the people who are actually asking for and likely bankrolling the damn thing
NukaWax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From my experience working with most clients the greater majority donโt really know exactly what they want. Some requirements are obvious, but nobody can really determine everything that needs to be done until you actually have a working prototype. Thatโs when you discover all the real issues you have to solve. Then you start testing it in the real world and find that everything you thought would work doesnโt and users really only need 10 features out of the 300 that the client asked for.
Many times clients want to build something they think will make them money without first determining if there is a need or a problem they can solve for users. So itโs my job, when working as a UX designer to figure out if what we plan on building will actually solve a real world problem for users. When I worked as a product manager it was my job to help the clients figure out what exactly they needed and make sure itโs something viable.
So in this universe I donโt fuck over clients by having my team develop software that will be useless for my clients; because, I actually give a fuck about them and donโt like wasting my teamโs time on stupid projects. If I behaved the way youโre suggesting I would just be wasting everyoneโs time and efforts. Why the fuck would anyone want to do that except if they are greedy.
DavidAdamsAuthor ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 11:34:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The technician glared at her, snatched the photo out of her hand, and scanned it in. The machine chirped and tiny letters blinked at the top left hand corner of the screen.
โIs it working?โ asked Jason.
The technician swiveled in her chair. โIt says working, doesnโt it?โ
โYeah, butโฆI imagined, you know, it'd be doing something more. Flashing faces on the screen or something as it goes through them.โ
โOr,โ said the technician, her tone gilded in sarcasm, โwe could dedicate that processing time to, you know, scanning more faces per second.โ
The machine sat there, quietly humming. Jason picked his teeth. โThis is boring.โ
โThis is my job. My work. Work is boring. Thatโs why they call itโฆwork.โ She snorted. โI mean, you think hacking is sitting down in front of a terminal, tapping a few keys, putting on some dark glasses and then saying, Iโm in?โ
โIโฆdonโt really know what itโs like.โ
โNo, you donโt. You donโt at all. It, too, is work. And very boring.โ
AEsirTro ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:19:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can't we just both type on the keyboard at the same time, like Abby and McGee from NCIS?" asked Jason.
panzerkampfwagen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:00:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
2 years later and the 40th show to use it.
This fucking trope again!
ohmanger ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:23:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be funny if it did this each time you used face recognition to login to your phone.
Razzler1973 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:03:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When it flashes up:
... this will take some time - characters turn to leave
... then -MATCH- flashes up
Got it!!!
rj14ng ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 12:49:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Image Transcription:
Project Manager: We're going to build a facial-recognition application.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: People will put in a photo, and it will search a database for matching faces.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: And while it's doing that, it should flash up, on screen, a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces which definitely aren't a match
Programmer: No that's stupid we're not doing that.
I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:57:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good human!
GlancingCaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:18 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well meatbag!
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:58:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jetbooster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know my potato has at least 7 pixels
binarydaaku ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 10:31:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy hell. Was thinking exactly same less than an hour back. Black mirror is such a slick show but they had the slideshow recognition too
_Dopinder ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:07:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On the screen of the CTO guy. Right? And remember Jimmi Simpson as hacker in House of Cards? I think Netflix needs to learn something from Mr Robot.
khartael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah because the whole MAINFRAME HACK PROGRESS BAR thing wasn't stupid at all
(Haven't watched more than half of the first season so it should be somewhere there)
hdvsbakwbdvd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:24:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a visual communication device for the audience of the show, which is not a documentary.
_work__account_ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:22:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaunixsystem
cob59 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 12:11:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And most of the time, the database doesn't contain actual face pictures but descriptors of those. Loading the original image for each database entry would be a real waste of memory and CPU.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. Plus security, which hadn't even occurred to me.
WikiTextBot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:11:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Visual descriptor
In computer vision, visual descriptors or image descriptors are descriptions of the visual features of the contents in images, videos, or algorithms or applications that produce such descriptions. They describe elementary characteristics such as the shape, the color, the texture or the motion, among others.
[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28
obnoxiously_yours ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it wouldn't look them up in the DB, rather it would have a few faces loaded in memory at startup (essentially UI graphics), and those faces would cycle randomly.
Just do a shooting with a couple of the infortunate devs and you've got your sweet sample.
klezmai ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:05:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not as relevant as I think it is.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love this kid
Alias-_-Me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was hoping for xkcd, was not disappointed
klezmai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typo?
Alias-_-Me ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would never
Flonkerton2600 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:22:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's already in Jira
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:15:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Awesomolocity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:29 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you use 12 computers, it makes you go faster tho
misterrespectful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, the entire show is based on a faulty premise, and the show itself contributes to the problem:
It's the CSI effect, but for social science. Everything about the show is bullshit. When you think about how bad their "IT babble" is, realize that's how little they care about truth, and that their babble about every other field is just as bad.
Xorg_Xalargsky ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:26:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pops in the meeting room
"Oh and, have a green wiremesh head rotate on a black background and make sure that you've got some bright red message that fills up the whole screen when the search is over. Make it a bit dramatic, you know like 'ANALYSIS COMPLETE 99.995% MATCH - SUSPECT IDENTIFIED'... I don't know man, you're the tech wizz."
JRabone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:41:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DONT FORGET THE DOTS ON THE FACE FOR CHRIST SAKES
AgitatingSkeleton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:09:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How else would you know the application is searching?
happyviolentine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:26:00 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I thought... I think the reason for this is that this is how you would do the search if you did it manually...
strugglingmaleactor ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:34:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think weโre meant to believe itโs using brute force and going through every single face in the database until it stumbles onto the match
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in biometrics and this is actually how it works. It is a brute force 1:N search. There is no analogue to a database index.
Real face matching software doesn't flash the face on the screen, of course.
strugglingmaleactor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:29:11 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Thatโs cool to know thanks!
Andres1233321 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:08:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do they keep doing it? I sad an episode of black mirror yesterday where they did a face search on a phone the same way it's described in OPs post...
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:28:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Andres1233321 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't thought about it like that. It makes sense when you put it that way, I guess when you think about it it's kinda like when they force a padlock or a door on tv.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:51:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly my point. I thought for once a show would be smart enough not to do it.
xantub ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:21:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: Make it so you have to enter lots of keyboard commands for it to work.
Programmer: Why? This version you just need to click once to upload the picture and once to press 'OK'.
Project Manager: Just do it!
honestduane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:58:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What people are not getting is that this sort of search runs MUCH FASTER without the visual part you can see.
In fact the less UI crap, the faster you can make it.
UpTide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ASM!!!
aoikeiichi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:30:30 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: We're going to build a facial-recognition application.
Programmer: No that's stupid we're not doing that.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:40:23 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like the way you think.
topredditbot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:22:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey /u/FiveYearsAgoOnReddit,
This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:31:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I was busy watching Community and had no idea!
IT_Treehouse ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:10:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project manager is also a terrorist that includes large digital counter that goes "boop" faster the closer it gets to 0.
draftermath ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:48:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see you are into season 4 episode 3 of Black Mirror.
RLMZeppelin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:05:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โENHANCE!โ
yottalogical ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smart programmer:
Ooooh, thatโs difficult. Iโll be able to do it with a $45,000 grant.
xXReggieXx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:14:36 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, then theres the "enhance", because CCTV magically has 8K resolution.
zeissman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:22:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, thatโs Jason Bourne!
milehightechie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:45:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot Dog
Not Hot Dog
nobody2000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Over at /r/tvdetails - someone posted about how Bob Newby in "Stranger things 2", who hacked a computer, actually used real 1980's era password cracking. A screenshot of what was on his screen was perfectly authentic and real. There were clicks of a keyboard, and no other bleeps and bloops or any computer science tv/movie tropes.
It was completely believable and I was fully immersed. You don't need bleeps and bloops and distractions and two people typing on a keyboard at the same time and silly jargon.
wheresmyhouse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:52:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, it needs to make lots of beeping noises so everyone around knows it's a computer.
techathon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:45:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it needs sounds! Where are the sounds!?
MalHeartsNutmeg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:00:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but people put up with the slide show since the program always finds a match in 30 seconds.
XBxGxBx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:01:36 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see youโve been watching black mirror as well
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:34:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the thing which put me over the top, I'll admit.
LuciferGQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:23 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a show I could enjoy tho!
Minago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:12:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I Need to write an application like this for university. Im really thinking about implementing these ideas, just that the TAs have something to laugh
solefald ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:14:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer: Iโll just play The Addiction Network commercial while searching for a photo.
kobykoin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:17:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who can I contact for some high pitched background noises to sooth users of the program?
Sunapr1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this reminds of my recent minor project submission
Kn0wFriends ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black mirror
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was my inspiration.
roguetrooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:36:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or have you swipe left or right and tells you if your friends on Facebook.
ecky--ptang-zooboing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:47:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This happened in one of the new Black Mirror episodes. Made me lol
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what made me post this.
CasualFan25 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:47:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In English!!!
quaductas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:49:50 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, the UI absolutely must be blue on a black background. And while we're at it, we're gonna need some bleeps and bloops
ryanybourke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
@bones
RickyShade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll create a GUI interface
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better use Visual Basic. It's the best for GUI interfaces.
mccak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:18 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/ECUFhdedWD0
anothertrad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds more like a PO not a PM
fake_not_fake ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have implemented a program it's task is to update a formula by changing different weights. As ml is involved we can't do it real time. As input is known we analyze data everyday and cache the results. Client doesn't believe this, so we have put a spinner which hides the result for few seconds.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ml ?
fake_not_fake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Machine learning
BearTheDom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like you made this post because of the Black Mirror ep3 I saw last night. So much attention to detail but yeah let's run useless facial recognition code displaying all database faces. Literally only problem I had with that episode as it kind of ruined the believability.
pheffner ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:14:40 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite true, and every explosive device is helpfully equipped with a VERY LARGE LCD countdown timer, possibly with boop sound effects!
randomusername_815 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:16:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hit enhance.
IamChristsChin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zoom. Zoom again please. Enhance. Zoom...Zoom...Enhance. Zoom...De-enhance.
โGot ya!โ
frivolous_name ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's more like this
busnectar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember, the UI should be so sophisticated that it canโt be usable by a mouse, it only takes keyboard commands.
foolishimp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well how about a spinney wheel? can we at least get a spinney wheel?
woahacow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you also please add in some high frequency sound effects with that slideshow?
dabderax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black mirror season 4 in one of it's episodes had exactly that.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is no coincidence.
In fact I posted this on /r/blackmirror and it got totally ignored.
seriaph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:39:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha wheeze this is.. so.. true.
2rustled ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knowing things makes real life really boring.
MomijiMatt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I thought I was the only one who thought about stuff like this ๐
PPMy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I love Mr. Robot. Their hacking scenes is mostly realistic
Lots42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Detective shows are much more fun if you consider them 'alternate universe America'. Where like our Bill of Rights is four paragraphs long and all the judges are from the Simpsons and allow whatever insane crap sounds cool.
NorthEasternNomad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an IT Professional, I quit watching detective shows after the infamous "two person hack" of CSI (or was it NCIS, I literally cannot tell the shows apart).
Now, the moment a TV show features hacking, I just turn it off. For good.
cuddleskunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you mean "two dorks, one computer"? It was NCIS...and no matter how hard I try, I just can't get some of my family members to see how fucking silly that is. My dad compared it to when two people share a guitar...you know, an object which usually has 6 strings and ~19 frets. Compare that to a standard, full keyboard with about 100 keys (often 101-105). He doesn't seem to understand the two main problems with two people sharing a computer for inputs: complexity and dexterity. I have actually shared keyboards with people...because playing old DOS games that had lackluster/non-existent controller support, but still wanting to play multiplayer was totally a thing. That said, we would carve the keyboard in half, and we were each performing independent functions. My brother and I played Liero like this a lot back in like 1999.
NorthEasternNomad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that's the one. God that was ridiculous.
And you're right, sharing a keyboard in that manner is do highly impractical it's absurd.
Not to mention...that...us not how you prevent a hack...
SheolCodeMonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:03:48 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itsaunixsystem
Flametris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:07 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
project manager: i need an enhance button for low quality images
programmer: uhh what?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project manager: And I'm paying you money.
Good programmer: How many random faces do you want?
Suup_dorks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:28 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So true :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:42 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I teach English as a second language to children. I know the game ;)
PanicStil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ENHANCE!
Hieillua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:58:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want to lose some braincells watch Arrow and The Flash and watch Felicity hack and Cisco/Caitlin/Barry explain science.
FunkyTown313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, itโs the โscienceโ talk that makes the flash or arrow so unbelievable /s
Hieillua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can still have a larger than life concept and do the science in a believable manner. Like Agents of Shield does or Stargate SG-1 back in the day.
Stargate was about a group traveling through the universe through a wormhole. The writers could've been like, oh well this isn't realistic at all so lets just write bullshit totally insane science dialogue that makes zero sense. Nope, they didn't do that and actually researched and made the science quite believable on the show.
Agents of Shield has superhuman characters and they still bring them in a believable way because it's written well. That's all I'm asking for.
I can also come up with a show and make up totally bonkers rules and not hold myself onto those rules. Like a Flash also does. The Speedforce on CW's Flash is a mess. Next to that they don't even have any sense of logic. A thug runs out of a room and the fastest man alive is like oh well, he's escaped... and he doesn't chase him.
Meanwhile Felicity is DOWNLOADING A CPU. They literally downloaded a CPU on that show. Then I'll rather praise Mr. Robot for their research and writing because they made their tech stuff realistic.
FunkyTown313 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:04 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I know. Their science mumbo jumbo is hilarious as it is on most tv shows.
Also, I wouldnโt put Mr Robot in with agents of shield or the flash. Iโve got that compartmentalized into something more along the lines of a regular crime drama/thriller.
(Iโm just giving you a hard time)
lendergle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:09:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: If the face it matches is someone in the department, I want some kind of alarm to sound
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: Have the random faces be from every race even when the one we're trying to match to is obviously Chinese.
Programmer: OK
Project Manager: And sometimes the perps will be on acid, so we'll have to match faces that are melting
Programmer: OK
iwantago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:25:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isnโt fair to good Project Managers. This is usually a Product Owner or Business Stakeholder request that any project manager worth their paycheck will veto before it even hits the Development team.
Arancaytar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: We don't have the budget to give both of you a workstation.
Developers: https://youtu.be/msX4oAXpvUE
SomethingEnglish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:20:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wrote a brute force, read 3 nested for loops 0-1000 on each, Pythagorean tripplet finder in python for project euler and had it display the result of each loop. After an hour it still wasn't finished, removed all but the final print statement, 0.5seconds later i had the answer. Sometimes it doesnt payoff to know if its working or not.
jworsham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:59:25 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black Mirror episode just made me make this comment to my wife yesterday.
MrFerf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:35:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crocodile?
tito2323 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"and bring the machine that goes... Ping!"
https://youtu.be/arCITMfxvEc
winterisleaking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Black mirror s4 crocodile?
Zodep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:16:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See, for that request Iโd make a gif play. They wonโt notice the repeats.
no1survivalist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:14:38 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
deleted What is this?
jazzphobia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:45:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt forget a progress bar.
worldDev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you have been banned from /r/VXJunkies
professorplums ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:27:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is vx?
worldDev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just made me look it up, and I don't even think there is a meaning which is fitting haha. The sub is just people writing CSI style science jargon. One of those circle jerk subs were people just play along and build bullshit on top of bullshit.
Nickwojo531 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:06 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll create a GUI interface using Visual Basic
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:16 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll need to be able to perform any action in the system, regardless of how complex, by just mashing a couple of keys.
yegor3219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Software overacting is a thing.
formzee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And every face will make a sound that you apparently can't turn off
lemonsuicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant past comment of mine
zgf2022 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about robocop where it matched sections of a face individually
Mentioned_Videos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Videos in this thread:
Watch Playlist โถ
I'm a bot working hard to help Redditors find related videos to watch. I'll keep this updated as long as I can.
Play All | Info | Get me on Chrome / Firefox
subject_usrname_here ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just make a gif and let it act as a loading bar
Gaberill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even the newest season of Black Mirror was guilty of this, it's such a cringe-worthy trope that needs to get the axe.
Diknak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as a project manager, fuck you.
That's the kind of shit that come from the sponsor.
Orovo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really specifically coded software that such shows use? I always thought that they're simply showing videos...
GroovingPict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the early seasons of NCIS they had SETI@Home running one one of their monitors. I guess anything that looks flashy and computery and like it's progressing through some sort of process will do (this wasnt related to facial recognition, it was just in the background on one of the monitors on their desks)
brilliantmojo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:44 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In 2017 we have consumer ready facial recognition; this is some very, very under appreciated shit
danklasson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. If that slide show of random face pictures is just shown while the request is being processed, how is it a bad idea?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On second thought lets just use the same 8 people and cycle through them repeatedly.
--_-__-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious, me and my fiancรฉe were just talking about this while watching an old Forensic Files episode last night. Their dramatic recreation of AFIS had the mugshot/rapsheet slideshow. Like, come on. This was late-90s tech able to cycle through a database of millions of people AND display their biometrics and high res images on a snappy little GUI for no reason in rapid succession. Even though such a thing was possible, why bother?
I just chalk it up to the director wanting to display a tangible metaphor to explain what the system does for people unaware of it. AFIS took 18 days to find a match for their perp, could you imagine how long that process would be if the system had to wait to load entire files for every registered in the system? The guy would have been dead by the time they identified him.
FilmsByDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the producers response https://i.imgflip.com/1tqmt9.jpg
Suhrude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robocop
jerimiahf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or it will show just 20-30 and find a match in seconds (Black Mirror season 4 episode)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no no yes! 5 faces this time
GloryHawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well what else would you want? Nyan cat, you know what fuck that I need to see that
M123Miller ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is giving me all sorts of silly ideas....
Dementedpenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:30 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I first read the title as every modem detective show.
Warlaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Really show that you're being hacked. With your body. Like, stand up and type faster. Really feel it."
pumpkinhead002 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we could have the slideshow, as well as an image of your face being constructed, that would be great. Either the slow creation of a 3d mesh, or just a blurred picture that iteratively becomes more clear.
musbeyzehx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make a progress
AFK42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly what happens in a new episode of Black Mirror I just watched.
Moninew3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really inspired by this post
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:33 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need a subreddit full of these.
mothzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:47 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project Manager: The users think it's a good idea so we're doing it.
golgol12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to see a show comment on this saying that it was just a more advanced progress bar.
I_fight_demons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do a lot of work in VBA. One of my favorite things about it is that before you go to show a new program to the boss you can add
Application.Screenupdating = True
to get these flashes of work being done. It increases people's acceptance of your solutions a lot and is fantastic when presenting to a committee.
W1R3_60D ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:01 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at you black mirror s4e3
must_touch_flesh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:18 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a newspaper as a designer. One of the editors asked me to โenhanceโ a thumbnail to use as a main picture. This ainโt CSI bro!!
DAEProgramxD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:54 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People will never understand us programmers!:P
My family thinks python is an animal lol
Darthelmet1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A python is an animal. It's not their fault some other programmer decided to name their programming language after said animal. :P
DAEProgramxD ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol no itโs not..
Darthelmet1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, if we're getting pedantic, it's a genus of snakes. But if you point someone to a snake of that genus and call it a python, the same kind of person who wouldn't know python is also a programming language wouldn't know that python is a broader category that includes more than just that particular snake.
DAEProgramxD ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:16:59 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a programming language and thatโs it..
hdvsbakwbdvd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:35 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's almost like storytelling has different requirements to real life
BornNinjaPro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:33:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh we need flashing lights on multiple monitors and multiple windows popping up randomly
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about all of the doppelgรคngers?
momtheregoesthatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's always the noises for me. Like the old school clicks as the ONE IT guy clicks through a name list in 'the blacklist'. My gf doesn't understand why I'm so angry he has no help but can do everything.
ReadyThor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Replace 'Project Manager' with a visionary like Steve Jobs and the overpriced facial recognition application with a slide show featuring hundreds of other random faces is where your taxpayer money goes.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:06 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every image displayed in the sideshow should also trigger a beep or click sound, so the user knows the computer is busy doing things.
aphaelion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:49 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Also--and you're gonna need to work with the hardware guys on this--I want to find out how feasible it would be to have a projector next to the monitor, projecting everything that is happening onto the operator's face."
pm_me_for_penpal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's the obligatory "Mr. Robot did a pretty accurate portray on hacking/programming"
lnclincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blackmirror?
SupremeRedditBot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:16 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats for reaching r/all/top/ (of the day, top 25) with your post! ย
I am a bot, probably quite annoying, I mean no harm though
Message me to add your account or subreddit to my blacklist
smartysmarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BlackMirror_irl
try-catch-finally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want a slow search result? Because thatโs how you get a slow search result.
DeadPooooop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:08 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Explain?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:26 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crocodile in a nutshell. And Arkangel.
Geconimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:16:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All software should include the CSI option, with which every user action is coupled with fitting and very scientific sounding beeps. Beep boop!
amusing_trivials ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it started random but was approaching a match it would at least make some sort of sense.
swap714 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:59 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE
edog813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At first I thought you were gonna make a joke about that โenhanceโ thing
SilverySurfer153794 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:12 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe the term is Product Manager...not Project Manager.
HordaksFather ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:31 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Application.ScreenUpdating = True
Russ1642 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:45 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it can only be operated by a keyboard.
STATIC_TYPE_IS_LIFE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:58 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
./facerec --verbose
Rekt
da_fishy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:55 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the beeps
epistax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:56 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know what? I like it. There's no such thing as a match, it's just fuzzy logic. Show me the current best fit--maybe two or three based on different criteria. The one that the program finally picks could be off for any number of reasons (such as odd shadow/lighting), so the runners up are bound to be relevant sometimes.
Oh and the bleep bloops make it cool.
kw10001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please make the slide show thingy last longer. Thanks
otakuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:32 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometime in the future:
SELECT *, VECT_DISTANCE(FEATURES, (?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?,?)) AS DIFF FROM FACIAL_PROFILES WHERE DIFF < 0.3 ORDER BY DIFF ASC LIMIT 20;
Trylks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:01 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to note two things, because this is the Internet and today I am that guy.
This requires more work for the show, since they have to put the faces and display them, the database is "atrezzo" too. Fair enough they have access to many actors and actresses and collecting the faces should not be a daunting task, but it is a task that takes more than displaying a progress bar.
In fact it would make (some) sense for the application, if the process is long, in addition to the progress bar to display the top 10 (or top n) matches obtained so far, considering that each match probably goes from 0 to 1 (or 0% to 100%). That would look like message passing with partial results instead of calling a function and getting the results, would show progress, would be cool, and maybe useful. When new suspects are found, an additional process could run on them, trying to find connections with the information available so far, e.g. if they have been in the same city or locations, if they are related to the victim, or to someone else, etc. This second process should be cancelled if the suspects are no longer in the top 10. The information found could be shown as bulletpoints next to the face.
Basically the point is to parallelize the processes as much as possible, including using partial results, assuming that these processes take long times to run and that every second matters to catch the bad guy. I think that would look cool, and somewhat realistic.
๐๏ธ FiveYearsAgoOnReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:58 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What does "atrezzo" mean?
Trylks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:45 on January 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know. What I mean is that it is created and it is there just to be displayed as part of the show, it's not something real in the sense of being functional. Unless the show has access to the real database from the police, which is already built and could be cheaper, but probably illegal.
ahair2123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:21 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone link me that subreddit I forgot what it was called.
moschles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:05 on January 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/glHMaI3.gif
OhItsuMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:53 on January 6, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it. Can someone explain?
Jijonbreaker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:24 on January 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On detective shows, whenever they do fingerprint or facial recognition matching, they'll put a display on the screen which flashes through the whole database of people who don't match, to show the audience that work is being done. Rather than just doing it as a background process. But it has this super ridiculous visual flair that is completely unnecessary.
epigundl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:43:03 on April 23, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That only happens if it's called with -vvv
n3v3rBored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:20 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I would like to develop this app for real. Or does it exists already ? (please dont point me to google image search)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:15 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does facial recognition software already exist? Yeah.
n3v3rBored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:05 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Publicly available?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah there are open source projects doing it.
CollectableRat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:37 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cops are very visual thinkers and are about as far removed from a programmer you can get when it comes to abstract thinking. A skeuomorphic animation of flicking through an actual mugshot book might actually help the police make better use of the system. The animation of the faces being flipped through will impregnate an idea in their mind of how the tool works much better than just a file upload button.
lolmusic0954 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:51 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy generalizations, Batman.
cant_think_of_one_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:32:52 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boss asked me to keep an application showing what it is doing when driving another application, which was originally there for debugging, despite the fact it slows down the process considerably, because he thought it looked cool. Sadly, I can well imagine this really happening.
Lumenatus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:40:24 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs called a cue, itโs a simple way to convey to the viewer what is happening. You see and hear thousands of them in every show and movie without noticing. Sure you could just show a status bar and have them say it, but visual reinforcement helps and it looks kinda cool. Without cues everything would be awkward and feel inauthentic.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:28:17 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other fiction here of course is that these guys apparently live in a world where the programmer has any say whatsoever over the design.
WazWaz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:23:19 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be completely reasonable to show closest-match-so-far, so I don't really see what the complaint is, the PM didn't read the customer spec properly. Viewers may have trouble seeing the similarity, especially with the system flashing them up so quickly.
The true error is showing "MATCH FOUND" or "NO MATCH" when the search is complete.
GerrardsClaw ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 09:16:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your project manager shouldn't be defining the requirements. It should be your customer either directly to the team or via a product owner. If your project manager is defining requirements then tell him/her to piss off. They are not qualified to do such a job and will simply end up screwing things up for both the developers and the customer.
Edit: Looks like I found a nest of project managers!
bmarkovic ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 09:50:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lives in moms basement. Freelances on Upwork.
GerrardsClaw ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 09:57:11 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, my mum's house is built on a concrete slab. I have to live in the tree house.
bmarkovic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:34 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good sport. Suggesting people fuck off their superiors on a general basis does paint you in a "no experience in real workplace" kinda light.
GerrardsClaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:41:02 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you think the project manager is superior?
If you check my history you will see that I'm a very senior person in a multibillion pound company. My specialism is bringing change into legacy companies. I'm the "digital transformation" bloke ๐. I actively encourage flattening of hierarchy and challenging cargo cult approach to work.
My problem with project managers being in charge is that they often take a very short term view. As a result the remove ownership from the people doing the work, and treat developers as "resource". (a word I ban by the way)
Innovation needs three things, ownership, opportunity and tooling. Project managers don't see any of these as important. As a result you end up with vertical silos of roles and horizontal obsolete technologies.
bmarkovic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:05:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My two experiences with organizations big and hierarchical enough to have project management positions were when I was one, on which case despite being an engineer and doing engineering work I was very much the boss, accountable to upper management and responsible for failure, in which case even if the shots I call were wrong they were the ones I took heat on and not my team. I work in a team where I am not a manager now and my project manager is very much my superior in rank, responsibility and every other regard. Whether I am smarter, know better, have more experience only matters so much to my ability to market my opinion better. He takes the shit from above so that I don't have to, and he calls the shots precisely for that reason.
efstajas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:33:53 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What???
The product managers are the ones receiving the customer feedback alongside company, investor & shareholder interests and then go about coordinating design, engineering etc. to implement changes based on all of that.
If programmers just went through customer feedback directly and randomly worked on stuff, how efficient do you think everything would work?
CoderDevo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:41 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said project manager, not product manager. Two very different roles.
I donโt think the person you are replying to has ever worked with a product manager since he never uses that term in response to you.
I think he is talking about work in IT in a large corporation. I think you are talking about work in a software company.
GerrardsClaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:10 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatttt?
You seem to be living in the late nineties and early noughties. Have you not heard about team ownership, agile philosophy? Developers are not just dumb cogs in a machine, they are the people who write the software. The project manager is just an observer. Im pretty sure the team of developers are quite capable of deciding what should be worked on next.
I find your comments rather disrespectful towards the engineers who are actually doing the work
efstajas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:32:22 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaaaatttt???
That's not what I was getting towards at all. There needs to be high-level coordination, always, otherwise it's going to be a mess. Engineers are not the people doing ALL the work. It's important engineering and design, support and finance, management, etc. are all on the same page. Before frontend work begins, the design needs to be done. Before that is finished, backend teams need to lay out infrastructure for the feature, specify functionality etc. And before a feature eventually gets deployed, CS needs to be updated and briefed on the changes. QA needs to see prototypes and RCs and it all needs to be fit into the timeline.
I've worked with amazing product managers that really took into account all of the department's priorities and comments. They constantly drafted and readjusted release timelines, collected feedback from anyone who had to say something and made sure everything was on track and time.
It's not like a dev can just go "oh well lemme implement this feature" before the exact specifications have been discussed with design, cs, management and ux departments.
GerrardsClaw ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:46:14 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your model is a vertical silo of role and a horizontal monolith of technology. The world had moved way past this approach. Digital transformation is all about breaking down horizontal hand offs and integrating vertically from the customer into the company. All those things you talk about can easily be delivered using vertical business process (product) teams.
I suggest you read the phoenix project as a starting point.
And yes, there are always amazing people in many role silos. However a successful company has joint ownership of product across all employees and not dependent on just one or two amazing people
efstajas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:25:57 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But it's not! My company has a horizontal structure just like you're describing.
Our project managers coordinate, but they don't rule. Their job is to listen to what people in different departments regard as high priority and then discuss openly about how our roadmap looks like. You can't say having a single, universal roadmap is an old model.
Sometimes, our product managers approach our design team about designing a new feature that CS thinks would benefit user experience, based on the tickets they get. Then, we sit down together with them directly, plus our product manager and discuss what exactly will be designed, where it fits into our release timeline and when it should be delivered. Then, the project managers take that to engineering and listen to their input on the issue, again integrating the design team.
I'm not an advocate for silo-based decision making, not at all. But I think that the role of the product manager is highly important, even if just as someone who is aware of all raised issues, plans and wishes surrounding a product.
GerrardsClaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get what you are saying, I have implemented such structures in the past. The problem is that they are inefficient, increases the opportunity of error significantly, delays problem finding to much further down the line and limits innovation through lack of ownership. I can guarantee you that reorganising to be vertical business process teams will improve productivity and quality of your company.
To put it simply, you only need a project manager to negotiate between departments because of your company structure. Change the structure gets rid of the need of a project manager.
aconitine- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:43 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real world does not have such well defined role boundaries
GerrardsClaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:23:03 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just because some companies overload the project manager doesn't mean it is right.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 10:47:21 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:13 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What
AreYouDeaf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:46 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WE WILL DO
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:09 on December 31, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What