It worked but it wasn’t meeting the intense enterprise demands we were facing in the market. We needed something scalable, something more dynamic to meet customer needs. To fix this I pivoted our app to a client-server infrastructure.
Bruh. Your buzzword game is too strong. CTO-tier.
[deleted] · 177 points · Posted at 02:47:37 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
rbourbon · 97 points · Posted at 02:56:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
But do you know how quickly you can jerk off all the guys in this room?
[deleted] · 102 points · Posted at 02:58:23 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
rbourbon · 31 points · Posted at 03:09:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Let's say the standard deviation is only 4 inches and there are a total of 400 guys...
OP is a ninja coder, he already has multiple redundancies for this. He has an AI based algorithm which pulls from a server hosted on his virtual machine so everything is MD5 hashed into a 129 bit public repository.
kuhzaam · 2 points · Posted at 18:11:59 on September 8, 2016 · (Permalink)
Shit, yea, I think it would.
[deleted] · 553 points · Posted at 21:25:54 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)*
FOOL! You believe you can defeat me, a full-stack velociraptor ninja SSJ4? You will need a thousand years coding at 400 times Earth gravity before you could even consider it!
I actually did use excel VBA to "steal" a file from an airgapped machine with no USB drives (as an intellectual exercise). I used the Beep command to transmit the bytes through the sound card.
Essentially, I'd created a very slow modulator. The demodulator was a bit more complex, written in C#.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 12:45:42 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hacker transfers files off-machine using beeps
New security policy: Air gap machines may not have sound cards or internal PC Speakers
Hacker transfers files off-machine by displaying a series of QR codes
New security policy: Air gap machines may not have monitors.
Machines are now secure, and also unusable. Checkmate, hackers.
Can still communicate by varying the CPU load and changing the ambient temperature in the room?
fjonk · 17 points · Posted at 13:01:33 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
New security policy: Air gap machines may not have CPUs.
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:03:19 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hacks the disk controller to modulate the power consumption on the grid according to data stored at rest, as soon as power is applied to the inputs without a working CPU.
Not really morse code: The frequency of each beep corresponded to the value of the byte that it represented.
To reduce the chance of distortion mutating a byte, I multiplied the byte value by a constant to spread out the frequency of the byte across the whole frequency spectrum that Beep can beep.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:48:13 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
How did you do synchronisation? Were the beeps emitted at a constant interval, or was there an end-of-byte marker beep?
Each byte was a constant 0.8 seconds (the shortest interval that actually produces a sound from Beep) , then there was about a 0.2 second silence (I can't remember exactly), which seems to be a limitation of the Beep command.
Rosglue · 3 points · Posted at 19:43:14 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yup. I was meaning to see how much I could optimise it without getting data loss. For example, the frequency range of Beep was about 14 bits, so if I read the file 14 bits at a time rather than 8, I could ALMOST cut the transfer time in half.
I also looked into concatenating a .WAV file header onto a normal binary file and seeing if it was still intelligible when played. I got bored, though.
The reason that I investigated it was that I enjoy writing technically accurate fiction. In this case, the VBA had to be simple enough for a non-techie to type up from a piece of paper. He would then leave a recording device attached overnight hidden in an oversized set of headphones.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 08:39:16 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Then leave the NodeJS conference.
S'alright, they'll uninvite you before you get there.
There is a Worksheet_Change event, if that's what you meant.
[deleted] · 40 points · Posted at 02:18:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 22 points · Posted at 06:13:27 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
01hair · 6 points · Posted at 11:53:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
get rid of all the latencies
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 12:04:10 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
01hair · 19 points · Posted at 13:11:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's not what I meant, I didn't even catch the misspelling. I was poking fun at the possibility of a "latency-free" Excel chat client. Sorry, no criticism intended.
Alakdae · 2 points · Posted at 02:31:47 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think it is something like this:
Private Sub Worksheet_Change(ByVal Target As Range)
End Sub
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 03:38:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My company doesn't use network shares or Microsoft Office. Can you port a version of this to Google Sheets?
You joke but I can't help but think this is how covert ops will be carried out in the future. Noisy transmissions hiding in plain sight, encoding information. This will be the next generation of numbers stations.
[deleted] · 107 points · Posted at 02:50:17 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I don't know how WW3 will be fought, but WW4 will be fought with snapchat stories.
holy fuck u weren't wrong
Verco · 3 points · Posted at 06:05:18 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
there is one part of reddit, where i think that is going on, its a subreddit and every post/comment tree seems to be a part of an encoded message/file?
juanjux · 80 points · Posted at 01:46:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Still better than Skype for Business chat.
G2geo94 · 6 points · Posted at 04:28:31 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
No kidding there. I'm working now, and it keeps reporting server issues whenever I'm on VPN. And given that my job relies entirely on VOIP (b2b tech support), I need VPN my entire shift
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:03:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I was gonna say, still better than Lync (where Skype for business came from)
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 12:46:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My company develops call center software and we now have a business product that we made that competes with Lync. So internally our company started using it as beta testers (we have over 1k employees) and we all hated it at first.
But because we created it, that means we can change it....so now it's kickass with hidden commands like rage and shrug and flip tables. The most important business commands. Oh and a snark command that does lmgtfy. And of course giphy integration where you can in-line search all the best gifs.
Title-text: There was a schism in 2007, when a sect advocating OpenOffice created a fork of Sunday.xlsx and maintained it independently for several months. The efforts to reconcile the conflicting schedules led to the reinvention, within the cells of the spreadsheet, of modern version control.
[deleted] · 34 points · Posted at 22:55:30 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Walletau · 55 points · Posted at 03:57:40 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Dude, this sounds exactly like a functioning solution at a firm that doesn't allow external applications. 10 years later, you pass it off as a joke, only to hear that it has a dev team of 4 people and used by 300 users.
I built something similar to project a sales metric on a screen (they used to use a white board) somebody saves a spreadsheet on public drive, on a VM projecting to the screen, I had tasker, polling every 15 min to see if the sheet has been updated, if it has, convert csv to pdf, take a backup of old pdf, open new pdf in full screen mode in Adobe Reader where I had auto scroll set to TRUE. Knocked it together in half an afternoon and last I hear, they use the app on 3-4 screens now.
[deleted] · 26 points · Posted at 04:03:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Walletau · 17 points · Posted at 04:16:08 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I blame management with insane requirements and daft resource assignments. "This department is asking for a Facebook, but our top priority this dev cycle is going to be to finesse the UI on the client facing page, which is in your dev team, even if it's not your skillset. Soo...without installing anything, provide a solution for them in under a day please. Any external applications will require a complete security review and we're in a code freeze, so we can consider it in 2018 given current backlog."
mauxly · 4 points · Posted at 08:54:24 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually programmed a solution using Excel VB that scraped data from Web ERP, crunched, and entered the data back in. Because ERP team said "Impossible to code!" and as a lowly BA, I wasn't allowed to use anything but excel to come up with a solution.
That was a fun year. Saved my Fortune 500 millions.
Excell VB... jesus...but you know? Where there is a will there is a way.
That's what I mean, it starts off as a joke and 5 years later it's the go to solution. I've built some absolute garbage in my past, and some really, really cool stuff. By Murphy's law, the only stuff I hear about, is automations that were knocked together in 2 hours. While the projects with the coolest tech and really clever solutions, gets lost in deployment hell, and entire project is a wash.
Sloshy42 · 1 points · Posted at 05:30:08 on September 15, 2016 · (Permalink)
I once wrote a shell script that modified /etc/fstab directly to overlay in-memory filesystems over directories (DeepFreeze-esque in a way, so all file changes would be discarded on reboot). This was maybe five years ago and I haven't touched it since but it's been sitting on GitHub minding its own business. Just the other week I got an email notifying me that I have 2 pull requests on it.
God. I wrote that in high school too when I didn't even know anything about programming and just wanted a way to impress my school IT guy and now it's probably roasting random peoples' filesystem tables because it's completely unsupported... Maybe I should rewrite it so it's less dangerous.
Walletau · 1 points · Posted at 06:35:10 on September 15, 2016 · (Permalink)
Add a comment line "this is unsupported and written by a teenager, may god have mercy on your soul.
Did you ever see that blog post some guy posted in there telling everyone "they're using C++ wrong", then proceeded to offer up a bunch of "proper" things they should be doing?
The bar has been set pretty low in there
noitems · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
The less practical it is, the more abstract it gets.
This would have been the shit in high school 10 years ago. Every login on the domain had a network drive mounted for science classes which all users could write and read to but not edit or delete. So you could create files and continue to save over files you created but not save over other people's files or delete anything of yours or others. The science teachers thought this was a great way to do a drop box in 2005, during class if they wanted the students to submit their work just save your files in that folder / sub folders. They would grade from it later.
We all used it outside of the relevant classes as a chat log just like this! Except we were 10th graders that were dumbasses so we couldn't come up with anything this intricate. We used to just make txt files and set the hidden and system flags so that no teachers would notice even if show hidden files was ticked. Relied heavily on each participant writing their message, saving the window, and closing it. Not hard though given that the teachers would occasionally be looking over your shoulder at what was open on your taskbar. Just used runbox history to rapid fire reopening it.
My go to indigenous method when I was in grade 6 for hiding my porn on home PC running on windows in was to zip the whole folder then change the extension to some random, then to set it hidden and as system file. I was so fucking proud that no one I knew could crack it. Multiple layers of protection. Still somehow proud of it.
I did something similar in middle school, but it was more of a joke. We would open a word doc in some network folder, write into it then let our friends respond. I think we mostly just fucked around. Only lasted a few days before teachers caught on because we never thought to make it hidden.
I'm not sure either if he's serious about the clipboard bit or not, but he's right about what can be accomplished with Access if you know what you're doing. Source: Paid the bills doing MS Access work since the 2.0 version until the early- to mid-aughts. Still have a couple of applications in production and get a support call every now and then.
I also made a really sweet Access database app, because it was this one small thing in a large corporate environment and I couldn't mess with the databases.
I guess I should remove all of that. At my current job Access was the horrible system they used before hiring real programmers.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:58:59 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
A former friend of mine made one of these back in the mid 00's when we were working as collectors. We hated the job so most of our time was devoted to stupid crap like this. It worked really well for months until IT figured it out and blocked it.
lethargilistic · 431 points · Posted at 02:16:26 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Bruh. Your buzzword game is too strong. CTO-tier.
[deleted] · 177 points · Posted at 02:47:37 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
rbourbon · 97 points · Posted at 02:56:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
But do you know how quickly you can jerk off all the guys in this room?
[deleted] · 102 points · Posted at 02:58:23 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
rbourbon · 31 points · Posted at 03:09:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Let's say the standard deviation is only 4 inches and there are a total of 400 guys...
darkfaith93 · 19 points · Posted at 08:10:09 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
guys? does shaft angle affect OPs ability to jerk off multiple guys at once?
ANAL_ANARCHY · 11 points · Posted at 09:54:37 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
OP is a ninja coder, he already has multiple redundancies for this. He has an AI based algorithm which pulls from a server hosted on his virtual machine so everything is MD5 hashed into a 129 bit public repository.
kuhzaam · 2 points · Posted at 18:11:59 on September 8, 2016 · (Permalink)
Shit, yea, I think it would.
[deleted] · 553 points · Posted at 21:25:54 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
CipherWeston · 366 points · Posted at 23:05:27 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
If everyone is a hacker, nobody is a hacker.
ebilgenius · 256 points · Posted at 01:34:09 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
If everyone is calling themselves a hacker..
Then leave the NodeJS conference.
[deleted] · 140 points · Posted at 02:32:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
ebilgenius · 86 points · Posted at 02:36:26 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh yeah, well I'm a PHP code artisan and dev evangelist.
[deleted] · 93 points · Posted at 02:37:52 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Nvrnight · 83 points · Posted at 02:55:28 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Any C#ristians around here?
lambda-notation · 40 points · Posted at 04:03:25 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just us Haskell Hermits
[deleted] · 29 points · Posted at 04:14:05 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
jpresken2 · 36 points · Posted at 05:49:15 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm an assembly atheist.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 07:26:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Rust Rabbi
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 10:25:40 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Perl Pastor
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 21:10:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
APL Allah
ChefTeo · 5 points · Posted at 07:31:20 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Malbolge Maverick.
pm_me_your_plumbuses · 23 points · Posted at 04:14:22 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Java Jews?
BrushGuyThreepwood · 49 points · Posted at 04:31:05 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Java witness
ANAL_ANARCHY · 1 points · Posted at 09:44:27 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
C++unts
stapler8 · 12 points · Posted at 05:04:31 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
BASIC BASICS?
livegorilla · 30 points · Posted at 07:20:18 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
BASIC Bitches
stapler8 · 17 points · Posted at 07:33:16 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
10 PRINT ":("
20 GOTO 10
ANAL_ANARCHY · 4 points · Posted at 09:45:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I prefer CSStian
uoaei · 4 points · Posted at 16:59:42 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
CSSgendered scum!
douchecanoo · 3 points · Posted at 05:59:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
LINUX GURU
vstanchev · 26 points · Posted at 10:33:52 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
GNURU/Linux
FTFY
paullik · 1 points · Posted at 13:18:53 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually LOLed. Thanks mate!
ThePsion5 · 2 points · Posted at 12:52:38 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
FOOL! You believe you can defeat me, a full-stack velociraptor ninja SSJ4? You will need a thousand years coding at 400 times Earth gravity before you could even consider it!
neurohero · 19 points · Posted at 09:01:10 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually did use excel VBA to "steal" a file from an airgapped machine with no USB drives (as an intellectual exercise). I used the Beep command to transmit the bytes through the sound card.
Essentially, I'd created a very slow modulator. The demodulator was a bit more complex, written in C#.
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 12:45:42 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
neurohero · 10 points · Posted at 12:49:37 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Can still communicate by varying the CPU load and changing the ambient temperature in the room?
fjonk · 17 points · Posted at 13:01:33 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 14:03:19 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Hacks the disk controller to modulate the power consumption on the grid according to data stored at rest, as soon as power is applied to the inputs without a working CPU.
KevinsAccount · 2 points · Posted at 14:19:21 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
more like cpu sound https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/1t8wtl/scientists_hack_a_computer_using_just_the_sound/
KevinsAccount · 5 points · Posted at 14:18:10 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
hackers won https://www.wired.com/2016/06/clever-attack-uses-sound-computers-fan-steal-data/
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 12:37:56 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thats some primo kludging dude.
Rosglue · 3 points · Posted at 10:28:21 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
So you basically transferred byte Code with... Basically morse code?
neurohero · 8 points · Posted at 10:39:02 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Not really morse code: The frequency of each beep corresponded to the value of the byte that it represented.
To reduce the chance of distortion mutating a byte, I multiplied the byte value by a constant to spread out the frequency of the byte across the whole frequency spectrum that Beep can beep.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 12:48:13 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
How did you do synchronisation? Were the beeps emitted at a constant interval, or was there an end-of-byte marker beep?
neurohero · 3 points · Posted at 13:11:32 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Each byte was a constant 0.8 seconds (the shortest interval that actually produces a sound from Beep) , then there was about a 0.2 second silence (I can't remember exactly), which seems to be a limitation of the Beep command.
Rosglue · 3 points · Posted at 19:43:14 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
So the transfer rate was 1 byte per second? Damn!
neurohero · 3 points · Posted at 03:49:30 on September 8, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yup. I was meaning to see how much I could optimise it without getting data loss. For example, the frequency range of Beep was about 14 bits, so if I read the file 14 bits at a time rather than 8, I could ALMOST cut the transfer time in half.
I also looked into concatenating a .WAV file header onto a normal binary file and seeing if it was still intelligible when played. I got bored, though.
The reason that I investigated it was that I enjoy writing technically accurate fiction. In this case, the VBA had to be simple enough for a non-techie to type up from a piece of paper. He would then leave a recording device attached overnight hidden in an oversized set of headphones.
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 08:39:16 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
S'alright, they'll uninvite you before you get there.
dylanthepiguy2 · 4 points · Posted at 02:29:31 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You cannot call yourself a hacker. Infinite recursion loop!
xXAndrew28Xx · 45 points · Posted at 21:55:04 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
It's not a bug! Its a feature.
RainHappens · 47 points · Posted at 01:47:41 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
The programmer equivalent of Clarke's third law:
Any sufficiently advanced feature is indistinguishable from a bug.
ANAL_ANARCHY · -2 points · Posted at 09:46:50 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Goat Simulator. I still want to know how I can play that without getting Steam.
orangekid13 · 3 points · Posted at 15:09:51 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
google play store has it
but what the fuck is wrong with Steam?
malonkey1 · 1 points · Posted at 12:41:56 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You can't, legally. Steam is it only legal distributor.
[deleted] · -1 points · Posted at 14:04:25 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
legally. legal. there must be another way then... hmmmmmm..... off to the DARK NET !
algorithmae · 0 points · Posted at 14:14:08 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
If you want to play it, support the people who made it. They need to feed their families and pay bills, also.
Jess_than_three · 26 points · Posted at 21:29:04 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is beautiful.
Zagorath · 42 points · Posted at 02:09:49 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Dropbox would work, wouldn't it?
[deleted] · 265 points · Posted at 02:12:51 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 61 points · Posted at 03:44:55 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
[deleted]
tacticalsword · 15 points · Posted at 04:47:24 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks
winnie33 · 22 points · Posted at 05:42:21 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
hey... you're not OP!
sphks · 20 points · Posted at 06:46:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh. Sorry.
some_old_gai · 11 points · Posted at 07:24:24 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's okay. I forgive you.
darkfaith93 · 11 points · Posted at 08:08:12 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
waiit a minute...
Is your username old gay or old guy?
WienersBetweenUs · 13 points · Posted at 09:08:31 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
old gai
karmastealing · 1 points · Posted at 10:25:45 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
here come dat old gai
PeopleAreDumbAsHell · 5 points · Posted at 12:56:43 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yes
ktkps · 1 points · Posted at 08:03:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
no need to apologize
Alakdae · 14 points · Posted at 01:48:57 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Amazing... I'm gonna try this at home!
Just a little question, isn't there a way to autosave excel every time you change an spreadsheet, instead of doing it every 20 seconds.
[deleted] · 16 points · Posted at 01:50:51 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
AbandonedArchive · 31 points · Posted at 02:15:10 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
There is a Worksheet_Change event, if that's what you meant.
[deleted] · 40 points · Posted at 02:18:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] · 22 points · Posted at 06:13:27 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
01hair · 6 points · Posted at 11:53:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted] · 5 points · Posted at 12:04:10 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
01hair · 19 points · Posted at 13:11:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's not what I meant, I didn't even catch the misspelling. I was poking fun at the possibility of a "latency-free" Excel chat client. Sorry, no criticism intended.
Alakdae · 2 points · Posted at 02:31:47 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think it is something like this:
[deleted] · 10 points · Posted at 03:38:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My company doesn't use network shares or Microsoft Office. Can you port a version of this to Google Sheets?
uses_commas_wrong · 16 points · Posted at 06:13:32 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
The Google version of excel basically already does this.
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 17:21:53 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I know, I was trying to be funny. :)
ANAL_ANARCHY · 4 points · Posted at 09:51:55 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's especially funny because Google has a built in chat feature. Not that anybody would seriously use a workbook based chat app.
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 17:22:13 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
:)
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 17:05:56 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
only 40 seconds? So a huge improvement on lync or e-mail.
MereInterest · 86 points · Posted at 23:52:18 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
This would do wonders with a shared network drive. We could communicate through dropbox.
[deleted] · 180 points · Posted at 00:07:26 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Corvald · 57 points · Posted at 00:10:36 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Just implement the protocol that backs up files via Twitter; then you can just put 140-character comments on YouTube.
[deleted] · 166 points · Posted at 00:19:27 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
featherfooted · 94 points · Posted at 01:28:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm disgusted, but also aroused.
okmkz · 34 points · Posted at 03:06:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Is /r/KinkyProgramming a thing yet?
edit: ok, it is now
ANAL_ANARCHY · 12 points · Posted at 09:58:20 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
unsubscribed
JollyAstoundingHarp · 3 points · Posted at 14:12:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're not living up to your name.
CreativeRealmsMC · 1 points · Posted at 15:37:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
/r/ItBecameAThing
YugoReventlov · 1 points · Posted at 06:00:49 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Subscribed
citizen-rosebud · 27 points · Posted at 02:47:01 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You joke but I can't help but think this is how covert ops will be carried out in the future. Noisy transmissions hiding in plain sight, encoding information. This will be the next generation of numbers stations.
[deleted] · 107 points · Posted at 02:50:17 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
TotesMessenger · 16 points · Posted at 04:39:03 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:
If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)
[deleted] · 12 points · Posted at 08:34:09 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Holy fuck that css.
ANAL_ANARCHY · 2 points · Posted at 09:59:37 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
holy fuck u weren't wrong
Verco · 3 points · Posted at 06:05:18 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
there is one part of reddit, where i think that is going on, its a subreddit and every post/comment tree seems to be a part of an encoded message/file?
YM_Industries · 2 points · Posted at 06:35:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
There are several. /r/solving_reddit_codes
t0advine · 3 points · Posted at 11:24:18 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Steganography has been around for ages.
IWILLGUTYOU · 18 points · Posted at 00:32:41 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You're a fucking madman
YugoReventlov · 2 points · Posted at 06:00:18 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
The NSA would like a word with you (they want to hire you)
ThePsion5 · 3 points · Posted at 12:59:05 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Interviews will be conducted directly from an official NSA "Party Van." Do not let the black headbag concern you, it is for aesthetic purposes only.
nik282000 · 1 points · Posted at 05:15:45 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Finally, my comments section will be helpful to others!
jeo123911 · 1 points · Posted at 06:33:20 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
So, BASE64 then?
juanjux · 80 points · Posted at 01:46:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Still better than Skype for Business chat.
G2geo94 · 6 points · Posted at 04:28:31 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
No kidding there. I'm working now, and it keeps reporting server issues whenever I'm on VPN. And given that my job relies entirely on VOIP (b2b tech support), I need VPN my entire shift
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 09:03:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I was gonna say, still better than Lync (where Skype for business came from)
[deleted] · 9 points · Posted at 12:46:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My company develops call center software and we now have a business product that we made that competes with Lync. So internally our company started using it as beta testers (we have over 1k employees) and we all hated it at first.
But because we created it, that means we can change it....so now it's kickass with hidden commands like rage and shrug and flip tables. The most important business commands. Oh and a snark command that does lmgtfy. And of course giphy integration where you can in-line search all the best gifs.
picflute · 3 points · Posted at 15:38:23 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Unfortunately not everyone practices this. People really should demo their product internally on nontechnical people to get great feedback.
110011001100 · 1 points · Posted at 17:53:12 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Microsoft has 200k workers all over the world
They still aren't able to fix Skype 4b
PendragonDaGreat · 51 points · Posted at 03:17:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Somewhat relevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1667/
matthewwehttam · 38 points · Posted at 03:52:49 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Another semirelevant xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1254/
IrrelevantXKCD-Bot · 34 points · Posted at 03:52:50 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Irrelevant xkcd
I'm a bot bleep, bloop
scratchisthebest · 16 points · Posted at 04:38:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Oh, okay
captain_obvious_here · 10 points · Posted at 09:14:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
That was an unexpected comment.
Kevintrades · 1 points · Posted at 03:18:47 on September 11, 2016 · (Permalink)
Neat
xkcd_transcriber · 8 points · Posted at 03:53:08 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Image
Mobile
Title: Preferred Chat System
Title-text: If you call my regular number, it just goes to my pager.
Comic Explanation
Stats: This comic has been referenced 17 times, representing 0.0136% of referenced xkcds.
xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete
mattsl · 2 points · Posted at 04:18:53 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Guilty.
xkcd_transcriber · 22 points · Posted at 03:17:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Image
Mobile
Title: Algorithms
Title-text: There was a schism in 2007, when a sect advocating OpenOffice created a fork of Sunday.xlsx and maintained it independently for several months. The efforts to reconcile the conflicting schedules led to the reinvention, within the cells of the spreadsheet, of modern version control.
Comic Explanation
Stats: This comic has been referenced 29 times, representing 0.0232% of referenced xkcds.
xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete
PendragonDaGreat · 11 points · Posted at 03:18:13 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thank you kind bot!
xkcd_transcriber · 24 points · Posted at 03:18:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My pleasure
NotThisFucker · 9 points · Posted at 03:27:44 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Chikfilabot confirmed
[deleted] · 97 points · Posted at 21:40:25 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is pretty clever. Even though it's not really practical, I think /ProgrammerHumor doesn't do it justice.
Cistoran · 34 points · Posted at 22:47:57 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
Agreed, /u/arduinomancer you should post this to /r/programming
[deleted] · 34 points · Posted at 22:55:30 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Walletau · 55 points · Posted at 03:57:40 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
Dude, this sounds exactly like a functioning solution at a firm that doesn't allow external applications. 10 years later, you pass it off as a joke, only to hear that it has a dev team of 4 people and used by 300 users.
I built something similar to project a sales metric on a screen (they used to use a white board) somebody saves a spreadsheet on public drive, on a VM projecting to the screen, I had tasker, polling every 15 min to see if the sheet has been updated, if it has, convert csv to pdf, take a backup of old pdf, open new pdf in full screen mode in Adobe Reader where I had auto scroll set to TRUE. Knocked it together in half an afternoon and last I hear, they use the app on 3-4 screens now.
[deleted] · 26 points · Posted at 04:03:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
Walletau · 17 points · Posted at 04:16:08 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I blame management with insane requirements and daft resource assignments. "This department is asking for a Facebook, but our top priority this dev cycle is going to be to finesse the UI on the client facing page, which is in your dev team, even if it's not your skillset. Soo...without installing anything, provide a solution for them in under a day please. Any external applications will require a complete security review and we're in a code freeze, so we can consider it in 2018 given current backlog."
whelks_chance · 2 points · Posted at 13:39:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
So, software development.
mauxly · 4 points · Posted at 08:54:24 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I actually programmed a solution using Excel VB that scraped data from Web ERP, crunched, and entered the data back in. Because ERP team said "Impossible to code!" and as a lowly BA, I wasn't allowed to use anything but excel to come up with a solution.
That was a fun year. Saved my Fortune 500 millions.
Excell VB... jesus...but you know? Where there is a will there is a way.
douglasg14b · 1 points · Posted at 23:03:42 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I hope your not joking, because I could see this actually happening in restrictive environments...
Walletau · 1 points · Posted at 02:07:19 on September 8, 2016 · (Permalink)
That's what I mean, it starts off as a joke and 5 years later it's the go to solution. I've built some absolute garbage in my past, and some really, really cool stuff. By Murphy's law, the only stuff I hear about, is automations that were knocked together in 2 hours. While the projects with the coolest tech and really clever solutions, gets lost in deployment hell, and entire project is a wash.
Sloshy42 · 1 points · Posted at 05:30:08 on September 15, 2016 · (Permalink)
I once wrote a shell script that modified /etc/fstab directly to overlay in-memory filesystems over directories (DeepFreeze-esque in a way, so all file changes would be discarded on reboot). This was maybe five years ago and I haven't touched it since but it's been sitting on GitHub minding its own business. Just the other week I got an email notifying me that I have 2 pull requests on it.
God. I wrote that in high school too when I didn't even know anything about programming and just wanted a way to impress my school IT guy and now it's probably roasting random peoples' filesystem tables because it's completely unsupported... Maybe I should rewrite it so it's less dangerous.
Walletau · 1 points · Posted at 06:35:10 on September 15, 2016 · (Permalink)
Add a comment line "this is unsupported and written by a teenager, may god have mercy on your soul.
hungry4pie · 2 points · Posted at 13:36:58 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Did you ever see that blog post some guy posted in there telling everyone "they're using C++ wrong", then proceeded to offer up a bunch of "proper" things they should be doing?
The bar has been set pretty low in there
noitems · 1 points · Posted at 21:18:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
The less practical it is, the more abstract it gets.
JustVashu · 46 points · Posted at 04:40:47 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Imagine a world where all technology is based around excel sheet programming. Kind of like steam punk but more excel punk.
Smart cars run using a craftily made excel sheet as well as television.
VoxUmbra · 19 points · Posted at 09:00:20 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I think the company that I've just left could be described as "Excel punk".
Berg_jnl · 4 points · Posted at 14:08:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Great band name though.
facedawg · 2 points · Posted at 13:16:30 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I do finance in a company with $6billion yearly revenue
Most of our reports are extracted from a database then done in excel:/
JustVashu · 3 points · Posted at 13:21:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
A sufficiently advanced excel sheet is completely indistinguishable from magic.
lillgreen · 35 points · Posted at 00:39:53 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
This would have been the shit in high school 10 years ago. Every login on the domain had a network drive mounted for science classes which all users could write and read to but not edit or delete. So you could create files and continue to save over files you created but not save over other people's files or delete anything of yours or others. The science teachers thought this was a great way to do a drop box in 2005, during class if they wanted the students to submit their work just save your files in that folder / sub folders. They would grade from it later.
We all used it outside of the relevant classes as a chat log just like this! Except we were 10th graders that were dumbasses so we couldn't come up with anything this intricate. We used to just make txt files and set the hidden and system flags so that no teachers would notice even if show hidden files was ticked. Relied heavily on each participant writing their message, saving the window, and closing it. Not hard though given that the teachers would occasionally be looking over your shoulder at what was open on your taskbar. Just used runbox history to rapid fire reopening it.
windlessStorm · 6 points · Posted at 14:25:05 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
My go to indigenous method when I was in grade 6 for hiding my porn on home PC running on windows in was to zip the whole folder then change the extension to some random, then to set it hidden and as system file. I was so fucking proud that no one I knew could crack it. Multiple layers of protection. Still somehow proud of it.
ANAL_ANARCHY · 2 points · Posted at 10:07:32 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I did something similar in middle school, but it was more of a joke. We would open a word doc in some network folder, write into it then let our friends respond. I think we mostly just fucked around. Only lasted a few days before teachers caught on because we never thought to make it hidden.
GisterMizard · 22 points · Posted at 01:50:00 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
But is it webscale?
ScoutsOut389 · 6 points · Posted at 03:47:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You just turn it on and it scales right up!
Jivlain · 18 points · Posted at 23:03:05 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
You should probably meet Brice Richard (ctrl+f for "clipboard" where it really starts getting hilarious). That guy was an absolute riot.
[deleted] · 4 points · Posted at 23:32:34 on September 6, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
BitBrain · 3 points · Posted at 00:53:55 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'm not sure either if he's serious about the clipboard bit or not, but he's right about what can be accomplished with Access if you know what you're doing. Source: Paid the bills doing MS Access work since the 2.0 version until the early- to mid-aughts. Still have a couple of applications in production and get a support call every now and then.
PretendingToProgram · 1 points · Posted at 00:39:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Great troll
citizen-rosebud · 14 points · Posted at 02:42:17 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Finally, a suitable replacement for Skype for Business!
p00facemcgee · 12 points · Posted at 02:54:21 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
You know, I wrote a lot of Excel VBA scripts at my last job. Should I not mention my expertise on my resume so I don't look like a noob?
[deleted] · 21 points · Posted at 03:03:55 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
p00facemcgee · 4 points · Posted at 03:13:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)*
It can actually be pretty useful for quick jobs.
I also made a really sweet Access database app, because it was this one small thing in a large corporate environment and I couldn't mess with the databases.
I guess I should remove all of that. At my current job Access was the horrible system they used before hiring real programmers.
Existential_Owl · 4 points · Posted at 15:36:51 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yup, it's a death sentence once people find out that you're "an Excel guy."
squrr1 · 10 points · Posted at 02:55:55 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.
[deleted] · 8 points · Posted at 05:19:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
http://img.pandawhale.com/165595-your-scientists-were-so-preocc-K8Ym.jpeg
rushanedublin · 5 points · Posted at 00:36:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I'll be honest, I winced when I read the title. Impressive none the less.
Pawn1990 · 7 points · Posted at 04:33:40 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kelly Rowland approves of this.
ReaperUnreal · 5 points · Posted at 01:39:47 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Thanks for the nightmares!
_ShakashuriBlowdown · 5 points · Posted at 03:27:01 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
/r/softwaregore
PancakeZombie · 5 points · Posted at 08:21:52 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
There is no god.
FurbyTime · 7 points · Posted at 02:14:02 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
... You are absolutely psychotic.
I'm saving this.
c3534l · 3 points · Posted at 02:02:22 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is my favorite thing ever.
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 03:09:36 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
This just gave me hives
[deleted] · 3 points · Posted at 15:47:29 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I miss NETSEND
CommunityWinger · 2 points · Posted at 02:15:11 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
This made my day.
Aakumaru · 2 points · Posted at 02:25:48 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Absolute mad man.
dnew · 2 points · Posted at 03:13:26 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Is there something similar for LibraOffice?
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 05:04:32 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
[deleted]
SirButcher · 2 points · Posted at 10:22:51 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
It is not about "why to do it" - it is about "lets do it".
[deleted] · 2 points · Posted at 07:13:02 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
This is both amazing and horrifying.
wicktwo · 2 points · Posted at 10:26:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Seems that Kelly Rowland already beat you to it mate!
https://youtu.be/8WYHDfJDPDc - 03:15
mothzilla · 2 points · Posted at 11:40:54 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
I know several people who would build their company around this.
zaphod4th · 2 points · Posted at 14:37:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
VBA ? dafuq ?
skratz17 · 3 points · Posted at 03:55:35 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
http://imgur.com/a/F85Hv
[deleted] · 1 points · Posted at 05:58:59 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
A former friend of mine made one of these back in the mid 00's when we were working as collectors. We hated the job so most of our time was devoted to stupid crap like this. It worked really well for months until IT figured it out and blocked it.
soulkito · 1 points · Posted at 07:20:21 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Don't leave us hanging. What mistake did Gob make?
leutnant13 · 1 points · Posted at 10:58:22 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Wasn't this solved by cloud collaboration?
AlTheGr8 · 1 points · Posted at 12:29:07 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Do you hire? I have ideas on how to take it to the next level.
lokivii · 1 points · Posted at 12:51:34 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
This made my team's morning. Then I suggested we hook up fax machines and use them to replace our existing communication channel. I was booted...
justin97530 · 2 points · Posted at 14:03:36 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
From an OS made in excel, hopefully?
foxiri · 1 points · Posted at 14:23:43 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Ok, the elephant is knocking all the furniture over... have you heard about google sheets?
MrD3a7h · 0 points · Posted at 18:06:52 on September 7, 2016 · (Permalink)
Kill it! Kill it with fire.