Sir, may I see your authority to enter?

Thoroughly enjoyed, thank you.

I went through in 2000. This was definitely a ridiculous game. Thing is, they would totally try their hardest to get you to break the script and open the door. I wonder if they still do this there?

I switched to Army and had to go through their bootcamp at Jackson. There wasn't any game like this...

intimate you

It's probable that you meant to say "intimidate" but maybe your experience of basic was different from my brother's.

Ah, the feeling when you know you are 100% in the right and untouchable

I clearly remember the "Authority to Enter".

I also remember being refused entry (appropriately), keying in, writing my name on the board of "Authorized" stepping back outside the door, and then being allowed in.

There's a lot of "surface Whacky" shit in the military, that's fun to mess with and will be criticized soundly by those that have no fucking clue, but is there in all it's wackiness to teach much deeper habits, responsibility, attention to detail.

Guy I was with pulled main gate guard duty. Come morning, at 05H50 the RSM drives up to the gate. He stops and this guy marches over with rifle, and calmly asks for ID. This was the morning the RSM had left his Military ID at home, and after 5 minutes of yelling , and having a rifle levelled at him, he reversed, and drove back ( at a speed that might or might not have been considered as inappropriate for formula 1 vehicles)to his house to collect it.

He arrived back at 07H10, with an entire platoon of the rest of us waiting in front of his locked office looking at him at parade rest. Sweet FA he could do, though the guy never again pulled gate duty, instead he was assigned the coldest furtherest posts instead for his next duty a month later.

what probably Peed off the RSM was the stream of cars driving in through the other gate, with a guard letting them through without question, but that gate had no road to the RSM's preferred parking area without going all the way around the base, and through another 2 security points that only opened after 07H00 in any case.

Haha I had two similar events in Army basic. Not quite as funny as yours though.

Once, while we were still in reception waiting to go to basic we had a guy fall into our formation by mistake. So obviously when we went to count off... We were +1.

We must have counted off a dozen times, the guy refusing to admit his mistake (we didn't really know each other at that time), the drill sergeant getting madder and madder... Many pushups were had before that goober admitted his fuckup.

The second time, while we were actually in basic, some guy went to sleep after his assigned fire guard shift (like your door guard) in the wrong bunk for whatever stupid reason. One or two fire guard shifts later, someone realized that his bunk was empty and reported a soldier missing.

Initially the drill sergeants were in a rage at the fireguard because they thought fire guard had let a soldier go AWOL, and then they were in a rage at the guy who wasn't in his assigned bunk. It was not a good night for that kid... But he was the platoon fuckup anyways, he had lots of bad times in basic.

Moral of the story... Drill sergeants HATE it when they think they've misplaced a soldier.

I was on submarines during the 80s and each boat had an access control list while in port. If youre on the list you get on , if not you are barred , if you challenge it hard enough - terminal force is authorized. I was on Tridents the last half of my time in. My boat was new and our Captain was original nuclear navy. He had been XO of the Nautilus SSN-571 when it was in service. He had turned down Commodore to be in command of the submarine.

One of his buddies was Admiral Hyman Rickover - the father of naval nuclear power. This was about a year before he died. 85-ish(he was 85 too). He was invited to come down for a test ride on what was at the time the most powerful weapon of destruction on the face of the planet. 1296 Megatons of nuclear destructive capability.

The list of things to do or not do was like a rock stars list. Do not address the Admiral even if spoken to. White grapes peeled in the wardroom and all times. A one page list of protocol for the old man. Food, temperature, music. the whole thing.

So anyways he and his staff came down (even retired he had a staff) Along with people from squadron. And he just walks down the plank on board and starts to go down the hatch before topside watch can get there. The topside pulls his shotgun racks it and points it right at his head in the hatch. His staff goes crazy. The watch hits the alarm and orders him out of the hatch.

You would think the Father of Naval Nuclear Power would be on every single access list for every nuclear powered vessel in the US Navy.

But he wasnt.

The watch was dressed down for pointing a shotgun at what was considered to most powerful and feared person in the pentagon.

But the old man, sincerely apologized for violating a protocol he developed and was escorted down. It was kind sad as you watched this 85 year old man sitting there. Enjoying what would be his last ride on something he was responsible for. He died a few months later. And there stories passed since almost anyone in naval nuclear power had at some point been the target of his wrath. He wasnt a bad person but knew first hand the cost of failure having lost 2 submarines in the 60s. And perfect was the only standard in his life.

CQ KNOWS ONE SIMPLE WORD TO GET IN! Dorm guards hate him!

Ha ha, nice one.

My Dad told me a similar story from Vietnam. Forgive me I don't know all the military terms, but I've been told the story a million times. He was a lowly technician, not a combat role, and one of his jobs when was within cooee of the front was guard duty.

He said one time he was one duty and a patrol came in, so he called out the code word, and because they were battle hardened tough and rough warriors they ignored the kid on guard duty calling out the code. So my Dad called it out again, and they ignored him again. These people were obviously Aussie soldiers, but rules are rules and at this point he's ordered to start shooting at these men.

He didn't shoot at them, but he did storm up to the patrol, go straight to the boss and start shouting at him "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?! I was about to SHOOT you! Why didn't you call the code word? You stupid bastard!"

And the officer he was yelling at started yelling back at him, and an argument was breaking out, when an even higher officer came up to find out what was going on. The other bloke started talking, but my Dad, probably only 21 at the time, cut him off and was all like "I'll tell you what's up! I nearly shot this idiot right here because he didn't say the code word. It's YOUR job to train these people, if YOU can't do your job someone's going to DIE!"

And the senior officer turned to the patrolling officer and said "He's right you know. You have to say the code words." And my Dad yelled "Too bloody right I'm right. Next time, I'm just going to SHOOT you." and he stormed off.

Anyway, he says it wasn't until about 5 minutes later, when he was walking away, that he realised he just totally yelled at two officers and threatened to shoot one of them. Nothing ever came of it, but he was shitting himself.

My TI used a banana as his common access card. The idiot on guard duty actually let him in after the TI started smashing it against the window and smearing the banana paste around. Basic training was both nerve-wracking and hilarious.

I went through Air Force basic a while ago, we called it Entry Controller (EC) or Fire Guard. We had an MTI (Military Training Instructor, MTL's were in tech school when I went through) come up through the back door super quiet while one kid was on EC duty. The MTI snuck around the dorm making noise and then hiding so the EC couldn't find him. He brought a red pen and drew a line across certain trainees necks to show that they were dead.

There was another time when my EC battle buddy and I decided to take turns napping, because fuck sleeping for two hours waking up for an hour or 2 and sleeping for another hour or two. He took first nap shift, everything was uneventful. When I slept it was close to 3:30 am and I lay down on the bench in the shower. About 5 or 10 minutes later the latrine door was booted open, I have no idea how I moved so quickly but I was up, uniform perfect, flashlight on and fake weapon shouldered in less then a second. Our main MTI turns and sees me, looks for a second or two then asks me what the fuck I was doing in the latrine. I didn't know what to say because my brain was still asleep, but I managed to reply, "The latrine is secure sir." He stared for another second then said, "Carry on Trainee Slixem..." and I sped out of the bathroom. I find my EC battle buddy and ask him why he didn't warn me that our MTI was here and his answer was, "I was ruffling the papers really loud, you should have heard."

You write well, and this was fun to read. If you have any similar stories, please consider posting them!

Upvote for the tl;dr

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

Well, since you were nice enough to use paragraph breaks and appropriate punctuation, I guess I'll make an exception just this once.

"One white middle finger, checking. One white middle finger, no".

Those were the days.

The dorm is a 2 minute walk from CQ. He was there in about 9 seconds banging on the door.

Underrated line of a fantastic post

As somebody who was never in the military, and doesn't ever want to, and doesn't have much interest in military books/movies/fiction, I have to say that I loved this.

As a veteran I just want to say 1)The military is may be the only place where malicious compliance may actually get you a promotion, if not a medal. And 2) I went to boot camp at 17. I can't imagine how hilarious it word have been with 10 years life experience and the knowledge that boot was all a head game would have made it. Might have even been enjoyable!

DG is responsible for controlling who has access to the dormitories, reporting headcount to nightwatch, and making sure nobody is slitting their wrists in the shitter or starting fires.

So you were this guy?

Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor that Private Pyle has a full magazine that is locked and loaded, Sir!

[deleted]

More like "well intentioned compliance" because you knew you and the MTL could get in trouble for violating protocol.

I got my ass kicked once for doing this. At the start of our FTX I was assigned to guard the gate (vehicle and pedestrian) that led to our "FOB." I stopped all of the drill sergeants and asked for ID. All of them except one had their IDs out and were showing them before I even opened my mouth, but one of them copped an attitude. I was asking myself whether this was the right thing to do -- we'd never been explicitly told that screening people for proper ID was part of the "game" -- when I heard the guy behind me rack his .50. It's amazing how that one sound can say so much: I've got your back buddy, you're doing the right thing, and P.S. whoever is trying to get in, you'd better fucking do as he says.

To be clear, we were not issued any live ammunition and we didn't even have any blanks for the .50 cal. I'm not even sure such things are made. I knew this, the gunner knew this, and the DS knew it. Everyone knew it, but somehow it was still enough to get him to fish out his ID. We let him in and I thought that was the last of it.

Toward the end of the week, my platoon was OPFOR and another platoon was sent to search our "village" (MOUT training site) for an insurgent. We'd done the searching before and knew how it was supposed to go: they would come in, form a security perimeter, move tactically, ask us predetermined questions, etc. etc. We were all given roles and were supposed to ask for different things like MREs, money, and some other stuff I don't remember that they weren't allowed to give us because of Geneva Conventions or something. Anyway, these guys roll in and just start beating the shit out of everyone. They're in full battle rattle (bulletproof vests with plates, helmets, and a rifle) and we're just in the cloth BDUs with no weapons so there was no contest. I personally got shoved facefirst in the dirt, had gravel shoved into my mouth, and got kicked in the gut. They weren't fucking around.

Our DS rolled up about two minutes into this ass kicking, waved his hands to turn us from hadji into CIA Special Agents, and instructed us to arrest everyone in the platoon for war crimes. Afterward he pulled us aside and said he had no idea they were going to do that and they were going to get smoked for it, but also take this as a lesson on how not to treat people when we deploy.

Anyway, I found out later that the other guys had been specifically instructed to "rough us up a bit" by their DS, who was the one who got mad when I asked for his ID. I have no idea what happened to him or his platoon, but I didn't see him around from then until we graduated a week later.

It was worth it.

[deleted]

Ahh DG duties. We used to get Mickey mouse IDs and the stupid shits let them in.

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

Epic story, but don't listen to him, kids. I'm about to turn 40 and haven't had to pay attention a single day in my life. So today's moral is: Don't join the military!

TL;DR: Just to piggyback off of what Top said, I'd like to reiterate...

Pfft, Guardsmen. Says MTL when he meant MTI and doesn't bother explaining what CQ means. Lazy. /s

Obviously kidding. I'm Guard, too but did 4 years active. Hearing the MTIs get creative for the guys on EC duty was some of the best moments of BMT.

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text.

this guy right here

I like your story and I like your tl;dr even more.

This is fucking glorious. Take my upvote you bastard!

Had the same thing happen in the verbal abuse to get inside vein. Only difference is he was drunk as shit and there was no emergency, just his required checks as CQ. Never did let him in since he never used the password.

"The dorm is a 2 minute walk from CQ. He was there in about 9 seconds banging on the door. But, being as mad as he was, he stormed over without his key, his ID, and had apparently forgotten the fact that there was a single word that would open the door instantly. He was focused on fixing whatever was jacked up with my headcount."

I smiled wide after reading this because I knew exactly what was coming. Good on you sir! Great read.

dormitory

Fucking Air Force

I'll be honest, having gone through USAF BMT as well. I laughed really hard. You can see your life ending, but you stuck to it. I'm proud of you.

I worked as a delivery driver for a bit, and got a bit of an eyeful at just how bad most people are at security. Thanks for keeping shit secure.

The TL;DR was very on point. This was a good reason to read 1000+ words.

Reminds me of these stories

Seeing all these comments and all I see is [removed] where the story used to be.

OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR OR I WILL RIP OPEN AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK FOR YOUR INOBEDIANCE YOU LITTLE WORMFUCKER!

"Sir, may I see your authority to enter?"

Must have felt so good.

That TL:DR is exactly the type of shit I have to say whenever someone complains cause I've literally made a 4-5 sentence comment. I like to be concise with what I say, but I feel like that doesn't really matter as its 1 fucking paragraph! I've made comments on YouTube to find the typical "Dude, bro, hahaha, you spent all that time typing that out?? Lmao I ain't readin that shit" whenever it wasn't even directed to them or anyone specific.

It's fucking ridiculous. It makes me wonder if people like this always existed and the internet just allows these people to be seen, or if there's more fucking idiots today..

Awesome job. I went to Navy bootcamp (also had my 28th birthday there). We had a rover and Petty officer of the watch (POOW). One night while on watch an RDC from another division came in, grabbed the POOW's gun and started throwing the ammo (fake) on the floor. I pointed my fake gun at him and told him to stop. He started screaming at me but I kept my gun on him. Eventually he stopped and took me aside and we had a casual conversation about where I was from. Never heard about what happend from anyone.

I was on Dorm Guard with an element leader(one step below dorm leader in chain of command). The element leader let my brother flight's MTI in because he had the ornament from our guidon.

Element leader blamed me because I didn't tell him to not let the MTI in.

I fucking love the way US Sgts talk. My country has a 2 year conscription and my BMT Sgts were those 1year+ conscriptees. That part of training was disappointing.

Is the code word code word because it was a stuoid technicality or because you can't tell us the actual code word?

"ONE, WHITE COMMON ACCESS CARD, TECHNICAL SERGEANT BUTTHOLE MCPENIS." checks list, sees a penciled in name dated and initialed by our MTI "TECHNICAL SERGEANT BUTTHOLE MCPENIS VERIFIED"

I tried so hard to keep a straight face.

Didn't work.

Ended up running flights and tossing sandbags the next day for some trainees laughing.

Still hilarious.

I was DG monitor in basic. We moved dorms, and changed TIs. The CSMGT came to test, but actually also needed to get in the office. But, he didn't have keys to the new dorm with him. Those keys were at home,or somewhere else.

He tried the fake ID. Rejected per protocol. He tried his real ID. Rejected per protocol. That made him very angry because his name was supposed to be on the entry list, but someone had not updated the list since we moved. The list had a bunch of names of people I didn't recognize. I stuck to protocol, as cooly as possible. Enraged, he left. 45 minutes later, he let himself in, challenged me to my face to explain himself, looking violent. I did. The cursing woke everyone, and he kicked the shit out of a metal trash can until it was a crumpled mess. He woke everyone. Said some short thing about security, protocol, and adherence, and to follow my example.

Sound awesome? No - almost the entire flight completely despised me after that.

Wait.... Chair Force has basic? What does it entail, learning how to let in the maid to clean the dorm and how to use a stress card? I joke because i can. Was Active Army. But, good job on maintaining discipline and decorum, along with keeping the SOP.

You did well.

This is glorious.

I laughed so much, nice writeup!

Disneyland?

Checking one yellow banana... negative... may I refer you to our mtl?

That was a long day...

And sometimes that shit just gets real. Buddy was assigned pay phone duty when the base went on pre-mission lockdown, or whatever it is called (I'm not military, my friend is.). His duty was to prevent the use of the payphone. No off-base communication allowed. He was armed with m-16 and a sidearm. Officer tried to use the payphone, my friend told him he could not, officer insisted, friend pulled the receiver on his rifle to check that a round was chambered ... In an obvious fashion so this officer could see it, then pointed the rifle and said he had orders to shoot if necessary. Friend was not court martialed for threatening an officer ... But that officer was totally pissed at my friend, tough spot to be in I think.

And this is why I could never hope to cut it in any military. 60 seconds of dealing with that sergeant (or really anybody yelling at me) and I would probably end up trying to out-shout and out-insult him. Both of which I'm pretty sure are shooting offenses.

OP, I upvoted you specifically for your TL;DR!

Great story! Throughly enjoyed it. I had several moments like these as an 0481. You're told to practice and enforce "don't confuse my rank with my authority" as long as it was it tact. Since you're herding Marines in the airfield, or granting access, many wanted to pull rank. A couple of times I was shitting myself in the inside as on the outside I was respectfully telling some highly motivated master guns to fuck off. Haha. Good times.

Haha I graduated BMT 11 months ago. I could TOTALLY picture every word and interaction in this post. Since then (maybe even because of your experience) a new rule was added. Entry is allowed either with an ID backed up with the roster, if the person seeking entry has a key,with the code word, or if CQ verbally clears them over the wall intercom.

When I was in BMT, there was a one star not directly in our chain of command that wanted to tour our room in the early evening. Our MTI was in our brother flight's MTI's carpet, and the general was unaccompanied. Props to the trainees pulling DG at the time, they had the balls to deny entry to a Brig. General. After a minute though our MTI came back and gave the gen a tour, and bitched out the DGs for following protocol. Sweet times.

This is the best, love the TLDR

Quality tldr

This is great. TL;DR is awesome too.

Same basic training as the real air force

so literally not much lol

God, I hated EC. The shitty part was I memorized that entire fucking book better than the EC monitor so I got shafted with way more EC shifts than anyone else in case someone came to test us. Besides that basic training was a lot of fun.

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

• [/r/airforce] Sir, may I see your authority to enter? x-post from /r/MaliciousCompliance

• [/r/bestoftldr] TL;DR Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text.

• [/r/bestoftldr] Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

^{If you follow any of the above links, please respect the rules of reddit and don't vote in the other threads. (Info / Contact)}

That was a good story. Wish I could have joined the military but I can't pass psych evals and I'm a shitty liar.

Not even malicious compliance. You did right.

Can I have a TL;DR for the TL;DR?

Pretty sure this is a physiological test administered to every flight. Same thing happened to our flight in BMT and I was in 2004-2008

When you want to upvote but OCD prevents you.

I remember I memorized the damn phrase you are supposed to say when they show the ID card, even though they tell you not to memorize it. I felt like I was doing push ups for a good hour. I do not miss dorm guard.

They are MTI at basic. ... MTL are at tech school

I'm saving this shit. It was too funny!

Good fucking times. Good shit.. I can visualize the dorm and the disgusting exactly as it happened from my time at lackland.

Glad it was you and not a young trainee who may have relented.

Love your tl;dr you magnificent bastard

Get rest Sgt

Late to the party (just found this sub) but I loved this post, loved the "ONEOFYOUUSELESSFUCKSISGOINGTODIETONIGHT," and loved your Tl;Dr.

This is what I go on reddit on to read. congrats.

I come to subs like this specifically to read. Good story that brings back fond memories of Basic. I joined the Army the day after I turned 19, but everyone in my family was prior service, so I knew what I was in for.

I didn't expect to miss my dog so much though. That part was painful.

your tldr is cancer and arrogant.

Chow runners go

Better than any of my boot camp stories that I could remember anyways and I went to parris island

cool story, but seriously, upvoted for the tl;dr. i feel like some people should have it tattooed on the backs of their eyelids.

Best TL;DR ever, in my opinion.

That was great, also nice touch on the tldr.

Best Tl;Dr ever!

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

Thank you. I normally don't inlcude TL;DR in my posts because of this exact reason. If you don't want to read, don't come to the comments section.

The tl: dr was the best part. Skip all off it and just go there.

/r/bestofTLDR

tl;dr: national guard. 1 extra guy at roll call. doesn't open door for superior because superior doesn't have ID, Key, and doesn't use code word (as is protocol). 20 minutes later, superior uses code word. extra was supposed to be there.

Great story but that tldr left a sour taste in my mouth, seemed kinda unnecessary and pretentious. If you disagree with them then don't put one?

[deleted]

Well done.

I would like to know if there is a place where I can fead more stories like these.

This was great. Thanks for this post!

This is so cool

Ha, I knew what was happening when I saw that title - I remember that dorm guard line way too well lol.

Funny thing is you probably would have gotten in real trouble if you hadn't followed the letter of the law...

One of the best posts I've read in this sub.

Glorious.

The dorm is a 2 minute walk from CQ. He was there in about 9 seconds banging on the door.

I've no idea why, but I found this part extremely funny.

Coming from a military household this nearly made me choke of laughter

I went through in '06. I miss it. Looking back, all that stuff was pretty fun actually

Dorm guard duty, what a time! Thanks for the flashback!

Ahh, the joys of dorm guard. I went through in '96 and remember that particular duty fondly.

good shit. technically right is the best kind of right. good on u

But you were never promoted?

What's an example of a fake code word?

"Banana 541" or something like that?

^{How do you do a head count in the dark?}

Laughed out loud. Nice one.

I don't know when you did this but I went thru being DG in 1991. It was THE EXACT FUCKING SAME 26 years ago. Amazing.

The thing I don't get is why you wouldn't have turned the lights on sooner. Once you realized there was a person in the dorm who "shouldn't" be there, I'd think switching the lights on would be on the short list of next steps. But I've never served in the military so I can't speak from experience.

Your title gave me flash backs... shudders

Great story, thank you.

Very nice

Expected Crimson Tide ending where you're both wrong.

God I hated DG. Getting the shift rigut before everyone has to get up always sucked..

Ahhh memories of lackland and lackland lasers!

Outstanding.

This is gold

Oh man that was a great story, thanks for sharing

Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text.

Maybe one day, but not today.

Thank you for giving me some nice and not so nice memories.

That's what happens when you count ALL the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

Dang i saved this to read this morning and it's gone

Gave me flashbacks to my time in Basic. :-)

I've read too many long winded boring posts to not at least check the tldr before I read the whole thing

"Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be."

So here's the thing. When I read a post, I read all the way down until my brain registers the Tl;Dr at the bottom. At that point, it steals focus. Nothing I can do will let me finish reading the post until I've read the Tl. It's annoying as fuck. Part of what happens during this process, is my brain reconciling the details in the post with the Tl. The file clerk in my brain stamps those details which made the Tl as important, highlights the appropriate lines, files unimportant details away... It's a weird thing. Your Tl really screwed me up. Damn near got a mental Blue Screen of Death.

I was picturing characters out of the Police Academy movies while reading. Bloody hilarious!

I never went through anything nearly as awesome as this, but I could never figure out how to fuck up dorm-guard. Seriously, if they have an ID, they get in. If they don't have an ID, they can fuck off.

The only question I had to ask was "can I be ordered to open the door?" and the answer is "no."

How many roving dorm murderers are lurking that people are killed by dorm intruders in basic training?

The TLDR is beautiful. Loved reading your story. Thanks for sharing. :)

Love your TL/DR

Just found this and I actually burst out laughing

I know I'm coming across this late, but what a great read. The bin Laden line cracked me up.

I'm going to be honest, no way I would have been up for that.

Just dont put a fucking TLDR then man

I take it less malicious compliance would involve reminding him that a code word existed at some point, or would that also break protocol?

Did you ever get to answer in a high pitched "ladies" voice, "Who is it?"

I remember my 1 bad experience. ti came in and walked around then looked dead at me and said. "I smell gas." My first was to sniff the air. I thought hmm I don't smell anything. Then remembered it was a test. So I yelled "Gas, gas, gas!" And around the dorm. After saying that I didn't know what to do. He of course ripped me and said "give me a 341" with such malice. Lol. Will never forget that.

Takes me back!

One Ohio state drivers license, checking, one Ohio state drivers licence, no. One white middle finger, checking...

If it's this long I won't read it

This is great.

I was going to read this but then the tldr made me not read it out of spite.

This was worth it wtf, awesome story

Thanks for the story, what is TLDR?

I like what you've done here! You deserve every single one of your 30,000 upvotes! Thank you.

👍👍👍

Congratulations, you've made it to my Top 10 List.

Though honestly fuck fire guard (army here)

Loved the story. Very well written.

[deleted]

If I had read the TLDR before I read the post I would've ignored it out of spite.

If you provide a TL;DR, don't comment on why you should read the whole thing. If you want people to read it, don't put a TD;LR, you're not obligated to add it.

Some people check out the TLDR to see if it's worth reading all that text. Being a douche about it really doesn't help your cause and makes you seem really pretentious.

TLDR: Commanding officer forgot the rules and OP followed them, which slowed commanding officer down. He was mad, nothing happened to OP. OP is also a self-righteous doucher.

Oh boy. You sure showed him /s

I was with you 'til the snotty TL;DR. Fuck yourself.

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

Fix your inability to write a concise story that doesn't drone on with unnecessary​ shit.

Hardly malicious but still a great read

Nice wall of text you autistic fuck. You weren't supposed to take the whole bottle of Aderall at one time, but look at you, you crayon eating bastard.

Usually i'll read a tldr to see if the whole thing is worth reading. You may has well have not included it.

tl;dr fuck you, learn how to summarize what you've written so people don't have to feel like they've wasted time reading your stupid bullshit story. It may not be of use to you now but someday it will be.

Tl;Dr: Fix your attention span and learn to read a page or two of text. This post may or may not be worth it but someday one will be.

Get off your high horse. If I read every post on reddit I would have less of a life that I have now. It was nothing to do with poor attention span. I use TL:DR to get a summary. If I like it I'll read the story.

If people do shit like you do I assume they think to highly of themselves and their post.

I call bullshit on this. Air Force basic is not this hardcore. You fucking get pillows to sit on so your hemorrhoids don't flair up. This is some poser ass shit. Do they mess with you in basic? Kinda, but not really. Know why? The training schedule already runs you to the minimum sleep. Were you actually at PJOC school and you just forgot or are you really making it seem harder than it is.

Army regulations state that while in training battalion ALL soldiers are required to get a minimum of 4 hours of sleep. So guess what, if they wake you up in the middle of the night then they have to let you go back to sleep. Guess why they do this? They want you to be able to learn what is being thrown at you, they want you to stress sure but more important is learning the things that will potentially save your life and the lives of fellow soldiers around you.

Now with that said, Airborne, Ranger School, and many other specialty schools are NOT required to allow 4 hours of lights out sleep period each day.