๐๏ธ ayjayred ยท 12653 points ยท Posted at 09:45:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and then, they asked him to count to ten. The man counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten."
Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, and again asked the man to count to ten. The man counted, "one, three, five, seven, nine."
The scientists then removed both halves of the man's brain, and asked him again to count to ten.
The man said, "look, we're gonna count to ten. We're gonna count. Because I know numbers, I have the best numbers. All the politicians in Washington can't count to one-believe me, I've counted to one many, many times. They said we couldn't count to ten. Well, I'm beating all of those people in the polls. We're gonna count to ten. Everybody, count to ten. Okay? And let me tell you - let me tell you something. I will be the best counting President God has ever created. We are gonna count to so many tens, I tell you. Look at that!"
Saved comment
BleedingTeal ยท 2615 points ยท Posted at 09:54:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know the best numbers.
TryAgainIn8Minutes ยท 1014 points ยท Posted at 16:14:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Believe me, I know TREMENDOUS amounts of numbers. Believe me.
rolledmycaragain ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 17:23:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Binders full of numbers
cleuseau ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 19:40:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody loves numbers more than me.
rjeremyhoward ยท 142 points ยท Posted at 17:33:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody seems to appreciate your genius. Except me. I appreciate it. Well, 47% of it.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 18:52:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you bleed?
Ol_Rando ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 19:27:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamn you get around bro. I've seen you in damn near every post I've been in. Frankly I'm not even mad. Im impressed.
jayjust27 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:17:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I second this. I have seen him lots. So many times that if I where to tell you the number you wouldn't believe....
Ol_Rando ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:01:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So many numbers, the best numbers. My son is in cyber and you would be amazed at how many numbers he knows
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have no life, wait I technically have an imaginary job and have an imaginary gf but the point is I'm a troll and bored.
TehArkhamKniggit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:04:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna lick it?
BlurrOGO ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:05:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be great!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
*It's gonna be uge. Ftfy
3749123456789008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:21 on November 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Picking up from here tomorrow. I will finish, don't worry
BigBangBrosTheory ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Come on. Genius? Only you get it? You're crazy. That's one of the most over regurgitated election references.
Wholly_Crap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A new twist on an old fave.
Graphics_Nerd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:12:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You should put those binders in a lockbox.
BuritoCorp ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:34:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Should have put the surplus in a lockbox, instead of just mocking it.
MrBurrSir ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yessss, a lockbox reference! Love it.
From-Its-Self ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:48 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Or better yet
https://youtu.be/zOjAI-5FTGA
AvidImp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:24 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off, Mitt
MericanCheese ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Private emails full of numbers.
ChiefFireTooth ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 17:12:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna count SO MUCH you're gonna be sick of counting. You're gonna say "Oh god, no, please stahp! I'm so sick of counting!!"
shmough ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 17:45:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be HUUUGE.
GundhamTanaka1 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'UUUGE
banjowashisnameo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:00:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bigly
MtarTDi ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:00:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that hears that! According to subtitles, he's saying Big League, I don't buy it!
banjowashisnameo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:03:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah bullshit, he is just using bigly
pie5353 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bigly is a word
mb_editor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's a tremendous word.
Cachulistar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:12:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be HUMONGOUS
Iaradrian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And the Mexicans, we're gonna stope them from taking our numbers, just watch.
Shrodingers_Cat1701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:05:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
STaHp. hehehehehehe
Ateious ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:10:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're going to count pi together, it's going to be HUGE!
the_Bear99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:02:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These number love me. I mean all of them. The evens, the odds, the rational, heck, even the decimals.
Shrodingers_Cat1701 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:04:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trust me, know ALL the numbers.
capacillyrio ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:27:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yuge numbers
Feritix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:59:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
'Uge numbers as a matter of fact. I know more numbers than all the generals.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:00:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know it I know it Everybody knows it
PM_ME_UR_REDHEAD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yuge amounts of numbers, and they are the biggest numbers. sniffle
GreeceZeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And I even taught Ivanka to do so!
84Dublicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"But sir, how do you know they're tremendous?"
"I've been told they are by very reliable people. And they think very highly of me."
straylittlelambs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
TRUMPMENDOUS
ellingson17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:13 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They don't have the Stamina to count to ten. I've got Stamina. Tremendous Stamina.
X0AN ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just gave you your 1,000th vote, 10% of the way to 1 million.
BleedingTeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:06:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you. :)
immsk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:55:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody respects numbers more than I do.
franktavani ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:44 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can count in yuuuuuuuge numbers.
ITouchMyselfAtNight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're just Imagining PieeeeE!
redballooon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he thought it was real
MulberryPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The scientifically better number
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
All da best economics. We're gonna have such tremendous economics you wouldn't even believe. Yuge economics
blinkfan305 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm worth...many billions of tens
Dinah_Mo_Hum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the cyber that gets difficult. Majorly.
RabidTurtl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My knowledge of NUMBERS is big league.
Tzar34 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 17:58:50 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna count the number of emails with incriminating evidence on Hillary... maybe even the number of women Bill has raped... and let me tell you, we're gonna count the number of people she has murdered... and then! We're gonna count the number of years she's sent to prison folks
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:02:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Turns out when you've met thousands of people, and are almost 70 years old, some people you've met will die! Who knew?"
Tzar34 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 19:08:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're right... sorry man, do you have some extra blue pills lying around? I'm so tired of winning all the time lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:54:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Look if you want to leave your little safe space and have a discussion I'm down.
If you're just going to repeat a lazy meme and not have any original thought, I'm out.
Tzar34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:27 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you want to side-step issues and pretend that the wikileaks don't exist then I guess I'm out too.... or that Bill's a rapist... or that people who have crossed the Clinton's have suddenly been suicided.... tell me though, did CNN tell you what's in the wikileaks emails? lol I'm curious
And please don't act like the term "safe space" isn't entirely leftist... cuz most people voting for Trump denounce that retarded term.
that_mn_kid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Donny, we need you to count to ten, can you do that?
teapot112 ยท 1575 points ยท Posted at 10:55:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What is 2+2?
I have to say a lot of people have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me and they ask me. They say, "What's 2+2"? And I tell them look, we know what 2+2 is. We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine.
Oh my god, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and the 3s. Its terrible. Its just terrible.
Look, if you want to know what 2+2 is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number 2, by the way I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it is my favorite number.
You know what, it's probably more like the number two but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm being honest. I like a lot of zeros. Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy but he's like, "10101000101", on and on, like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer. I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers and we can add them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that? We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe it. That I can tell you. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me. OK? Alright.
CaptainDudeGuy ยท 394 points ยท Posted at 12:48:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you write for SNL? Or just Trump himself?
Tashathar ยท 177 points ยท Posted at 15:05:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just copypasta, that's what it is.
LurkerFree2012 ยท 140 points ยท Posted at 17:04:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have the best copypasta, don't we folks?
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 17:24:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is Patrick.
LurkerFree2012 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:38:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then who was phone?
XVelonicaX ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:04:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mr skeltal
LurkerFree2012 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:06:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
doot
XVelonicaX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:25:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/shittynosleep
Arthur3ld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:46:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thank
Draestyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:00:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mr
argensplat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Skeltal
TerrorOverlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
skeltal
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:12:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
did patrik died?
ssaminds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It was dopey John Oliver, he wanted me on his show. he called four or five times and when my team told me I could barely tell who he is.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hey do you know Dave
runhaterand ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 15:55:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is Trump's throwaway account
dodo_gogo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:24:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol god damn
UlyssesSKrunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He can't write for SNL, his comment was funny.
Crazyeyedcoconut ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 16:46:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Grab her by the 2's
_Sino_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hilary has been in office for 30 years, and she's done nothing about 2+2
ArlonDarke ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 13:47:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's an overdone facebook copypasta, but damn if I don't upvote this work of art every single time
runujhkj ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 16:29:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus that's a copypasta? I thought it was a transcript.
[deleted] ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:24:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is actually very close to what he says. If you watch enough of his speeches, they all follow similar patterns that do typically consist of him using the words "disaster" for how things are, and "phenomenal" for how things will be, including references to why his reputation is excellent.
An0therB ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:27:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's the joke
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:13:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we know that. Welcome to the conversation.
Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:27:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, glad to be here.
orcaman1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:01 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can I come in?
Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:02 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm... I don't know. Where's your birth certificate? Oh, and you're not Muslim right? Like, I'm not racist, but until we get this sorted out maybe you should just leave.
orcaman1111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:05 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a Mexican, per se, but i come from the Gulf of Mexico
Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:48 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, alright. But I'm marking you down on my "might have brown skin" list. It's a great list, the best.
Norington ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:44:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
More like:
"What's 2+2?"
"We're gonna hunt down ISIS with a sneak attack!"
Anti_Quotable ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 18:48:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't matter how often I see this, I WILL upvote. It's just too accurate.
McAwesome03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
this is a quotable post.
OneAttentionPlease ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 13:58:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Did you harrass women?
Let me tell you about all the bad immigrants coming to our countey, I'll defeat Isis and I will make America great again.
(That's actually really how it went - paraphrased)
Otlot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:17:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the part where he asked trump 3 different times if he sexually assaulted women while he was ranting avoiding the question, before trump finally muttered a half assed, "no, I did not" before jumping back into how he's gonna defeat isis. And it'll be the best.
Sssiiiddd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:32 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Women, motherfucker, do you harass them??
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 19:17:22 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
And that's frankly how it ought to be. I don't really care about a politician's character, I care about their policies. Same reason I didn't give a shit about Bill's supposed infidelity.
Is Trump a terrible human being? Sure. But he's not running for Human of the Year 2016. His policies are more important than his behavior.
BuritoCorp ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:37:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a shit argument. To hand someone that much power, they better be a halfway decent human being.
Rektalalchemist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:42:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well.. Im not a trump fan.. but hillary is a really shitty human being tbh. Idk man.
Jaquen_Hodor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:57:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Better hand it to the spokesman of corruption I guess. Clinton should be in prison
BuritoCorp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:53 on October 22, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't a banana republic.
Spaser ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:48:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I agree that the focus should be on policy, but to say that a person's character will have no impact on their presidency is totally ridiculous. Imagine Donald dealing with foreign leaders? It would be a complete shitshow.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:37:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not convinced. Regardless, I like his foreign policy far more than Clinton. Especially on Syria.
fkingpussies12345678 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:56:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People care about their president's policies on sexual harassment, imagine that.
ProfessorMetallica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:26:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, some people will say anything to excuse his behavior.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:27:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where did I excuse anything?
BiceRankyman ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:47:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It bothers me that this joke used to be about avoiding issues by talking about them super vaguely and passing the buck. Now it's about repeating yourself and qualifying yourself with poorly executed brags...
LuxNocte ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:03:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not enough race baiting, but very good.
CrossEyedHooker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:06:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"When I'm President there will be plenty of race baiting, I assure you."
myedgyname ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
"Truly the best race baiting! There'll be so much race baiting, you'll be tired of race baiting, ok"
Edited that last one, oops!
CrossEyedHooker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:48:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"go away, batin!"
Overhighlord ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:59:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You know what 2 + 2 is Winston.
6ixnogood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:29:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hes a robot! get him!
jjpyae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mount Rushmore
WutLolNah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This actually hurt to read
Raschwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This should be a copypasta
teapot112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:41 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is.
HarryPlopper94 ยท 603 points ยท Posted at 16:49:50 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was gonna be:
Teenage girls don't have the left-half.
Because they can't even.
[deleted] ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 17:09:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
..I ...I want to be mad, but I couldn't help myself from smiling.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:54:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fuck_the_haters_ ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:37:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ima go out on a limb and say he is a teenage girl.
TheSeansei ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:56:16 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a beautiful comment.
DeadEyeDev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:38 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Even when you're sure it's a teenage female, you still default to calling her a he.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:32 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm; had penis.
578_Sex_Machine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make a choice
DtotheOUG ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:49:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Y u hef to be mad?
Is only game
V2Blast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:29 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
for reference
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:48:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzpndHtdl9A
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:22 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Because in 15 hours my gender will be evaluated.
=P
rand486 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:39:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming you are a teenage girl that wanted to be upset, but can't even?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:57 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Like...as if.
real_edmund_burke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where's the anger coming from /u/Pyrrhic_Song?
Isthatreallyanthony ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 17:35:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scientist removes both halves
Teenage girl : I have a boyfriend.
LeSquidliestOne ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 17:54:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real joke is always in the comments
Jaytalvapes ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:23:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So is this exact comment.
Calif0rnia_Soul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nailed it.
count_the_reposts ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 17:13:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
JohnnyTries ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 17:38:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We have the best reposts, don't we folks?
JC_Frost ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:42:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They're just incredible. You wouldn't believe how many people have said to me "You just have the greatest reposts." Let me tell you something folks; they're very smart people, believe me.
TheRehabKid ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:22:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yay! I'm #1! I'm #1!
shortsj ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 18:46:45 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ah classic 4482
M1ctlantecuhtl1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me here waiting for a pixar joke on this God forsaken subreddit labeled 2319
asusoverclocked ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:04:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
penguyenpi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, believe me, we gotta repost, I know the repost will get more upvotes
OMGWhatsHisFace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:57 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So, what you're saying is we gotta repost this 3 more times?
Gorgrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:28 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
downvoting, can't count to 10 :-p
B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N-7-Q ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 14:22:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone create /r/explainlikedonald please?
Bad-Selection ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 16:59:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
We're gonna create that sub. It'll be a great sub. If you ask me, we should've had that sub a long time ago, but we're gonna have that sub. A lot of people have been asking me, they come up to me and they ask "/u/Bad-Selection, they don't want us to have that sub" and I tell them, I tell them "we WILL have that sub, and we're gonna make /r/eli5 moderate it!"
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 17:39:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"All the other subs are going to foreigners. They're going to GINA. I am gonna bring the subs back here and we are gonna make them ourselves. We're gonna make them bigger and cheaper and better, and let me tell you, they're gonna be the best subs. And people ask me, people ask me all the time, they're like, "Why do all these foreigners have our subs?"
imthewiseguy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:04:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
โ๏ธ
Hexxman007 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:14:57 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i wanted to create r/lielikehillary But i put it on a public server instead, But it was just a mistake i swear.
TheDVille ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could always just pretend like that sub is there. Really rant and rave about it for months, about how huge a subreddit it is. But the people who actually take the time to go look into it for themselves will see there isn't really anything there, and that you're just a raving lunatic.
FoundtheTroll ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:44:18 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Except...the entire FBI is in an uproar because Comey and Lynch acted independently.
Trump is shit, but Hillary is the shitty one that put him there as a strawman for her corrupt ass.
TheDVille ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:02:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Boy, that sounds like some
bullshitsubreddit you got there.FoundtheTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You probably mean it's some Wikileaks...straight from their email.
Let me guess. You're one of those people who believes Assange and Snowden are guilty, and we need to go to nuclear war with Russia to prove it?
Yeah, I figured.
IShotMrBurns_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:16:50 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Snowden is guilty to a point.
FoundtheTroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:12 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah. You're right. He told people that government was doing something evil.
He should have taken the side of the government, right?
Yeah. PRISM is all about freedom.
IShotMrBurns_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:03 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth. I said to a point he was guilty. He did put national security at risk with some of the leaks. He should be found not guilty for everything else. Assuming of course he gets a fair trial. Which currently he won't.
FoundtheTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:21 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"National Security"
You mean the security of the political class?
Right now, the biggest threat to the rights and freedoms of Americans is our own politicians, government, and banks. And there is a lot of overlap.
IShotMrBurns_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:06 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't disagree.
Hexxman007 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:16:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should be a campaign manager
jfb1337 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 17:08:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's /r/whatwouldtrumpsay
Saith_Cassus ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:12:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It officially exists and I'm subscribed.
PM_ME_CARROT ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:22:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
Tommat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:20:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
thanks
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
mr skeletal
Hexidian ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:49:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you post the questions or answers?
turret_buddy2 ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 16:05:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Caminsky ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:42:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
People come to me and ask me: yes? I say, I have the best yes, it's tremendous. They are gonna pay for it. America needs the yes or we are gonna lose the country, I say it will be a beautiful thing yes
deletedump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:42 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Melania : Yes we can.
Axumata ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/explainlikehillary
Hexidian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:09 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am your first poster, pls let me be mod. I don't know what I would moderate, but everybody is saying that I would be the best mod. I am a businessman and I am the best at doing the things for cheap, I will build the best rules and the spammers will pay for it. I have the best judgement, I would make a great mod, crooked Hilary has no experience, she would be a very bad mod. So pls make me mod.
StardustOasis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:58:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
A man had his left arm and leg removed.
He's all right now.
Gyshall669 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Arrested development did it first
kdawg2795 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:22:32 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the sniff's
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:25:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/repost
F-O ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:13:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/jokes
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:06:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
r/magicalpants
fuck_the_haters_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The joke here is we're all too unoriginal to come up with some funny comments, but at the same time too insecure to upvote actual original jokes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
99302
MrAcurite ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 11:49:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm starting to get sick of the Trump jokes. Sure, I hate the guy and all, but they're getting old. Like, a slice of cake is fine, a whole cake is a bad idea, and several cakes will make you want to die. But, can we please promise to put his concession speech on Nov 9th on the front page in several different subreddits?
PaulyWithADolly ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 12:10:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, good one.
[deleted] ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 14:39:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
84Dublicious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think #1 until he can't ride that nonsense anymore (however many recounts they'll let him get away with), and then #2 cause he's right about everything, especially when he's pulling it out of his ass.
dabkilm2 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
With all the shit that happened with the primaries it isn't really that unlikely.
N0PE-N0PE-N0PE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:05:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[suspicious Fry image]
Can't tell if joking, or really doesn't understand political parties are private clubs not technically subject to rules of constitutional democracy...
dabkilm2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:43:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still an issue when they don't follow their own rules.
nvolker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:47:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, but rigging the election for our nation's highest office is a bit different than not following some self-imposed rules in a private organization.
jimmydorry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:39:07 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And she certainly didn't intend to cheat anyway. And she definitely does not have the power (admittedly by proxy) to cheat in the general. We also don't have any prior examples to go off here, and I certainly can't imagine her having such a defect of character so as to prize political aspiration over morals or laws.She certainly appears to be a lone wolf with out large and powerful backing from private organisations and government.
It's all just smoke really... no fire.
N0PE-N0PE-N0PE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on October 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Ah, the good old "Democrats are simultaneously completely incompetent and masterful, diabolical manipulators" argument.
If you honestly believe the Dems are both willing and able to rig a general election, why didn't they just give Obama a House and Senate he had a prayer of working with the past eight years? Going for the long con? Saving up all those quid-pro-quo favors and shady backroom deals to blow on an election that's already looking like a landslide?
/r/conspiracy is that-a-way.
jimmydorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:39 on October 18, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice.
Amy_Ponder ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:07:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, there has been no evidence that the Democratic primary elections were rigged; in fact, Bernie himself has gone on the record saying he lost fair and square. (Here's the best source I could find on it with a quick google search.) Now, whether or not the media and / or DNC gave his campaign the attention and resources it deserved is an entirely different story...
Redditor_of_Rivia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:57 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Try this source instead.
Here's the direct source if you want to double check.
nvolker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That email was sent on march 20th, at which point Hillary already had a lead of 320 pledged delegates over Bernie.
It's not that surprising that people within the DNC and Hillary's campaign started to assume that she was probably going to win at that point, especially when you consider how well she was polling in many of the remaining states.
NotC9_JustHigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:50:42 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I am a Bernie supporter and as upset as I was with Bernie not getting the nomination, how is this evidence of vote rigging?
Redditor_of_Rivia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well here's an interesting study of potential vote rigging if you're interested.
Alex_the_White ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Shhh we're on Reddit, if you think Hillary is suspicious that means you're a TRUMP lover who hates all people that aren't white men
fkingpussies12345678 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:00:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You think the Democratic Party is going to rig the US elections?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:43:30 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fuh-qo5 ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 17:06:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
1.) to immediately assume the worst presidential candidate in history will not win puts far too much faith in American voters and frankly ignores historical precedent.
2.) If Hillary does win I for one will be immediately suspicious of it being rigged, and not for undue cause.
3.) I still think Trump is in Hillarys pocket and this whole time has been scheming with her to capture the RNC nomination, say retarded shit to lose votes, and ultimately throw her the election. I don't think it is going as planned because of article 1.) of my post.
The176thPbPGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:48:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have much faith in people. But I've plenty of faith in statistics. And Nate Silver. Mostly Nate Silver: http://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2016-election-forecast/
WASPandNOTsorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:22 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't he wrong about everything during the primaries?
The176thPbPGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:18 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Early on, yes. Once he started having polls to work with, not so much. He did a postmortem (http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-i-acted-like-a-pundit-and-screwed-up-on-donald-trump/). In short, his early statements were educated guesses, while his statistical models still successfully predicted 90% of the primaries.
WASPandNOTsorry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:47:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well I said from day one that Trump was gonna win by a landslide. So by all accounts I'm better at this than Mr Silver.
nvolker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everything? No.
jdb12 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:22:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is dumb shit yo. /r/conspiracy or whatever is elsewhere, dude.
SpanishDuke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:19:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think she'll necessarily rig the elections, but the Democratic primaries have been proven to be rigged against Bernie and in favour of Hillary.
jdb12 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:38:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Proven?
SpanishDuke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:15:43 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Surely, by the Wikileaks.
UlyssesSKrunk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes proven. Sorry if English is not your first language.
Fuh-qo5 ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 17:26:22 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. It's not dumb shit. Trump paid Hillary $250,000 to be at his wedding.
Everyone knows that Hillary is for sale and Donald himself admits to buying politicians.
audiosemipro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:38:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He also endorsed her in 2008.
UlyssesSKrunk ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:24:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah totally everybody who disagrees with me is a conspiritard too!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:36:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You honestly believe Trump is trying to throw the election so Hillary will win, but he is unable to do it? Right.
Fuh-qo5 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't believe a single word from a politicians mouth.
I know what I remember from the past despite both of candidates efforts to rebrand themselves over the past 6 months.
I know Hillary had a TERRIBLE reputation among voters 6 months ago and that many of those same people who hated her are now championing her.
I know that it would take a bastion of buffoonery to make the world forget all the back room shady shit Hillary is by and large famous for (because it isn't her success rate with liberal policy pushing)
I know the clintons are not stupid and that they know no limits when it comes to the lust for power.
To clarify an answer to your question, Donald Trump was elected by the RNC against the advice of almost all of its members. This was because the republican base was clamoring for him, loudly. He made a comment about grabbing a woman by the pussy and now moms are in tv wearing shirts promoting it. Americans are fucking retarded as is evidenced by BOTH presidential candidates. I consider my stance completely plausible and in consideration of their past relationship, likely.
Sabuleon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:11:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/conspiracy
Fuh-qo5 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have more to support my claim than you do to support the conspiracy claim
Ironically
Sabuleon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:28:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, no. The stuff you're putting forward and the way you're presenting it is conspiracy nut stuff. You're also purposefully eliminating context and details to make it sound like any of it is substantial.
Finally, you're in /r/jokes. Trying to make a political point. ... That kinda seals it.
Fuh-qo5 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:18 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Which I was doing in response to someone else's political post in /r/jokes
Personally I feel that if you think the government does not operate a separate agenda from the one publicly stated then you should do more research. There is a trove of quotes and statements made by men and women throughout the last century of American politics to back this up, many of them very prominent politicians. Some even presidents.
Hillary Clinton herself told a group of Wall Street executives that there is one narrative you operate by and another you tell the American people.
It's only a conspiracy if it isn't true.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
Fuh-qo5 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Current numbers mean zippo.
American attention spans don't even stretch to the election.
Everything you see today is just to sell advertising.
GOBLIN_GHOST ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure, she cheated to grab the nomination. But that was just the nomination. She would never cheat to steal the actual election!"
Fuh-qo5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/s
FTFY
GOBLIN_GHOST ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:44:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. And I actually meant to post that in response to the guy who called you a conspiritard, but what's done is done.
WASPandNOTsorry ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well #1 is objectively true already. She cheated her way through the primaries.
thekyledavid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:32:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare for potential overload. If he wins the election, we will have 4 more years of these jokes.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you can have your cake and STFU too, you know.
I'm kidding. I'm so sick of this election garbage I think I'll log off the net for a month or two.
myedgyname ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:47:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I deleted my FB. Both parents are trump supporters & seeing their comments come across my news feed was getting to be too damn much.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:18:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on the opposite spectrum. My mother thinks Hilary is some kind of saint, the released DNC letters are fake, and the Russians are behind everything. She also thinks that the only reason Hilary has taken so much flack is because she's a woman. She said a man would've never taken the same flak. Please, shoot me.
Bill2531_10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You two must hate each other now. It's the rule
myedgyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:47:02 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I deleted my FB. Both parents are trump supporters & seeing their comments come across my news feed was getting to be too damn much.
Cavhind ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:49:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"We, therefore, the People of Trumplevania, by our delegates in Convention assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, have solemnly declared that the Union heretofore existing between this State and the other States of North America, is dissolved, and that the State of Trumpistan has resumed her position among the nations of the world, as a separate and independent State; with full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent States may of right do."
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:39:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldnt mind this.
MoUrNeR3 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:25:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
getting old? not like his wives then.
I will see myself out
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:05:57 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oooo sick, uh... burn?
P.S. You got a little Trump around your mouth, there..
HotPandaLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You could tell it was a Trump joke as soon as you read the title
Axumata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:18 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
is the new ยซI'm not racist, butยป
MrAcurite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I could put together a lovely essay on why he's one of the Earth's predominant assholes, including but not limited to the fact that he's really just Hitler but with far inferior powers of oratory and statesmanship, I'm just starting to get sick of giving him attention. He's a third grade bully, he wants a reaction, if we shut up, he goes away.
Axumata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So a set of things that any left-leaning reddit conformist would say.
MrAcurite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It goes beyond that, though. Both were brought up by harsh German-esque fathers, leaving them each with a long lasting psychological compulsion to prove their own worth by getting people to like them, or otherwise have some material version of success. They both have taken political paths that are reliant on two things:
1) People thinking that their country is literally the best forever, and
2) A lurking resentment of some under-class or shadow organization.
Hitler stoked resentment towards cripples, Gypsies, and other classes by focusing on their lack of produce in the economy or patriotism, and towards the Jews by blaming us for having some vast conspiracy against all of society. Trump is stoking resentment against immigrants and liberals for weakening our resolve and stealing our jobs, and against the media and the government for having some conspiracy to destroy him and the rest of America.
Both of them have a very simple message: we were once pure, and now we've been tainted by (politically correct/inferior) (liberals/Jews), and (border crossing/country ignoring) (Mexicans/Gypsies). We were once the (strong/genetically superior) (Americans/Aryans) with a strong economy and pride in our country, but we were ruined when they came. Now we're going to make (America/the Aryan race) great again.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:15:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It would be interesting how many trolls will vote for Trump just to see the reaction of his opponents if he wins.
HerbertRTarlekJr ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:30:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if that's his public position or his private position.
amsterdam_pro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:16:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Abe Lincoln position.
Coming2amiddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:45 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't talk about his private position or he'll sue you.
Tomarse ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:09:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The numbers are gonna be yuge!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:06:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Jina.
amsterdam_pro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
EVAN
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 19:27:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We all know Trump can't count
on Saudi support, unlike his rival
Raiderboy105 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:01:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start counting them. You know, Iโm automatically attracted to beautiful โ I just start counting them. Itโs like a magnet. Just count. I donโt even wait. And when youโre a star, they let you do it. You can do anything."
Gentle-Terror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:20 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We need to build a math class, we'll have the English class pay for it
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:11:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
None of these posts should stay in r/funny OR r/jokes.
We need a separate r/electiongarbage sub.
Fastcashbadcredit ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 14:21:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to randomly bring up isis and go on a round a bout rant.
Lower caps on isis because fuck them. They don't deverse our uppercase letters.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:46:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
CharlemagneOfTheUSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/madlads
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 15:30:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah fuck those guys who we could wipe out in two seconds but we need a boogeyman
DogePerformance ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:28:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please enlighten me on how to do that
Bad-Selection ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 17:05:21 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
go to Syria
find one of those guys
Chat him up a little
A few dates
A little wine, some candles, some sweet talking with Marvin Gaye in the background.
The176thPbPGuy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 17:44:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is the most coherent ISIS plan I've heard.
Bad-Selection ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Bad-Selection 2016!
ssaminds ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:26:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
actually in reality it would be like 1. go to Syria 2. they catch you 3. get sold on the slave market 4. get raped by your owner 5. get raped by his friends
DogePerformance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Only on Thursdays
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:51:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually really easy, we already did it in Iraq already with Saddam. You spend a few hundred billion sending in the US military. They can roll through and take down ISIS pretty easily. Now you just need to spend a trillion or so on rebuilding the country and stationing a large amount of US troops there for the next 50 years, where they can act as peacekeepers between the Shia and Sunni muslims.
DogePerformance ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:06:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Super easy, you're right. Too bad they're not all just hanging out in a single country eh?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Please enlighten me on why the US protects them from Russia.
DogePerformance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We shouldn't, we're in the wrong, and needed to never get involved.
AnIntoxicatedRodent ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:22:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Well at least he knows ten.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 15:55:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is why you liberals are losing the meme war. None of you are even remotely funny.
Anyways I heard that Monica Lewinsky won't be endorsing Hillary. She said on TV last night that the last Clinton presidency left a terrible taste in her mouth.
thekyledavid ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 18:31:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I heard that joke, Abraham Lincoln was still alive.
pounds ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:58:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The meme war is very important for the junior high vote
dbuck11 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 16:10:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The real jokes are in the comments.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:23:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
30 butthurt salty comments, thts sm gd shit bb
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Wooper160 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:39:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I get this reference
ProtoNate ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:40:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"ISIS can't count to 10. I will destroy ISIS. Nobody counts like me. Believe me, ask anyone."
paulatreides0 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:43:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You misspelled "Sean Hannity"
KBibbler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:19:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is it weird that without even realising this was about Trump, I still read it in his voice anyway?
superbovine ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
too forced
RearEchelon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:20:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These numbahs ah gonna be YUUUUUUGE.
fuzzb0y ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:41:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to somehow blame Isis for this as well!
adroitaardvark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant: https://youtu.be/VE6lHJXcnV8
somanyroads ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
There's no escape...is there?
Draculea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OK we tell some version of this "Ha ha look Trump's speech patterns" jokes every day.
It's fine to hate Trump, it's fine to make fun of Trump, but think of some fucking material.
MightBeDementia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this for fb likes
fullpaytax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I did it count to 10. By the way, have you seen 10?! It walked by me and I was not all that impressed.
swedhoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:55 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to grab the ten by its 5
ActuallyAMammal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:51:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can't recall
lin3thewind ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:25:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"because trump haha" is not an acceptable punchline, why are these jokes making the frontpage. I come here to laugh not snap in agreement. This isn't the new daily show :(
xMoody ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:20:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh hey more trump jokes how witty and creative
yabajaba ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:31:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
HOLY SHIT THIS SUBREDDIT HAS THE WORST JOKES.
rand486 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:40:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, I found the Trump supporter.
lin3thewind ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:48 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the punchline is literally "because trump hahaha"
not only was it terrible when it was posted 6 months ago but that was just a rehash of an old joke with no new cleverness just a new political target.
you're not laughing or clapping, you're snapping in agreement. this is daily show level garbage.
fkingpussies12345678 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:58:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The worst jokes, the absolute worst.
SentientDust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:39:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's gonna make math great again!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:16:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny cuz it's anti trump. Hehe lol lmao
myshieldsforargus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:25:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Could you imagine writing a Hillary version of this joke? It would never work.
Which is why he has already won.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 16:04:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
WASPandNOTsorry ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Two shotgun blasts to the back of the head. Clear suicide.
myshieldsforargus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
reported to the FBI
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have multiple witnesses confirming there is a substantial amount of WMDs and CP on their hard drive.
biffsteelchin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:42:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it wouldn't work. The punchline of the Hillary version would either be "I don't recall" or "what difference does it make" and as we all (especially Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty and Tyrone Woods)found out... there's nothing funny about that.
skullminerssneakers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:06:22 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever made the joke would end up killing themselves with 5 gunshots to the back and the joke would then be deleted
Or swarmed with shills like this entire fucking site
HotPandaLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're surrounded by shills and trumptards
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:44 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scientists removed the right half brain of a woman...
...and then, they asked him to count to ten. The woman counted, "two, four, six, eight, ten."
Then they put the right-half back and removed the left-half, and again asked the woman to count to ten. The woman counted, "one, three, five, seven, nine."
The scientists then removed both halves of the woman's brain, and asked him again to count to ten.
An undergraduate assistant is looking for one of the scientists so they can answer a question. The assistant walks into the testing room, only to see all the scientists laid face down in a pool of blood with several bullets lodged in their backs. The woman is holding what appeared to be a handgun. The assistant, horrified, asks the woman, "What happened??". The woman answers:
"I don't recall, but that doesn't matter! What America needs right now is a woman in the White House! Are you WITH HER?"
i tried :(
amgtech86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:28:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ohh damn, i wasn't expecting this to end like this
rand486 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:41:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I expect a lot of people will be saying that on November 9th.
pedone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:30:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Remove the brain and add a raspberry pi programmed to hate humans and you have Hillary Clinton
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What emails? I do not remember any emails.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:10:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Elections. That's just the way it is, always has been, and will continue to be.
You gotta understand some people are being paid to come on here and post bias and garbage.
skullminerssneakers ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:04:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Shills are wild on the default subreddit.
thekyledavid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:29:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who got paid?
DuckSmash ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:40:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
If you haven't heard of Hillary's super pac "Correct the Record" (CTR) they basically hire people to go on the internet (all of r/politics mods have been bought) and post pro Hillary and anti Trump stuff.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:24:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he numbers his days as well.
x6o21h6cx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:22:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This. Is fucking savage. Well done
JohnnyTries ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 17:37:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Been reposted more in the last 6 months than probably any other joke...
We have the best reposts, don't we folks? Our reposts are YUUUUGE.
ThoriumAnti ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:15:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you, believe me. I emailed a friend to ask what's 2+2, she never got back to me!?. I don't know maybe you know.
amsterdam_pro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
She might not recall seeing the email.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:17:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Then they put a bullet in his head, labeled it as suicide and got grant money from HRC
kinderneuker77777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:50:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Can /r/politics not infest this sub for just one day?
The1DragonSlayer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
These are fucking stupid, stop
heisenberg747 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I see people making fun of this trump quote all the time but I've never seen the original. Anyone have a link?
banzaizach ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
OLD!
gooniesneversaydye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Make counting great again.
Oops639 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Count vaginas! http://mobi.perezhilton.com/2016-10-15-donald-trump-howard-stern-interview-dating-personal-vietnam-unearthed-interview-vaginas-landmines-std-aids#.WAPBAJrD-Ag
Drcroak12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard this before, but I love this joke
theDFAJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Evidence? I know it, you know it, we all know it.
AsherFromThe6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:46:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to mention ISIS.
BluDreamTeam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:01:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're going to count to 10 so much that we can build a wall with those 10s, folks.
bellarps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna grab those numbers right by the pussy
adamorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is not realistic. I'm this joke he answered the question
Dolphin_Titties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Seems unethical somehow
Makhoe2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We don't have enough money to do that.
liarandathief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when this was a reagan joke.
marimbawarrior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Repost...
Itshowyoueatit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I hope no one asks him to count tents.
ramdaskm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:02 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and its a beautiful thing when you can count to 10
coralfields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We're gonna grab ten by the one to the zero and we're gonna count to it.
Gabiscis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha this is a hilarious joke! It's a shame it's an exact words for word copy of the joke I laughed my ass off from a few months ago :(
ilikeinformation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is golden :D
Stegosaurus1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:16:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can count very bigly.
SozSurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:45 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Me and my friends count to ten ALL the time!
fourpuns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can count to ten on my totally normal sized fingers.
602Zoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:49:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows I have the best numbers.
simjanes2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck's sake, even here?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He then deleted 10.
PufferBoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's the longest working punch line
hashtagrealtroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can count up to the amount I pay in taxes.
Abbss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Suppose it's still better than coughing and passing out.....
s0lv3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Why do i feel left out of a reddit-wide inside joke
oshaboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It is supposed to be Donald Trump
ShadowrunSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It wouldn't really make a difference if you removed one sphere of the brain or the other with most men, we all think with our dicks.
SeriouslySirius666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
32132
Donald-Trumps-Hands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can count to ten if I use my fingers!
clickinator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:53 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Pemdas means grab her by the parentheses
whatthefuk2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:54 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Maan my "SKULL" is so full of numbers!
Morbidly_Queerious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This one comes around every election cycle, but it's still good.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:39 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You need small loan of million upvotes
TheNileKing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:13 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I got to the third sentence of the last paragraph and suddenly I was reading in Trump's voice. I was like "where have I heard this before? Omg this person was a genius." I think the joke works better in writing because I don't know if I could tell the joke like trump speaks. Regardless, it's not much but please have an upvote
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:09 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot to mention ISIS
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:17 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ELI5?
Mr11BangBang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:21 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I emailed this to a friend but I'm pretty sure she just deleted it..
Malthetalthe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:30 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think we can count on him!
zorkwad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:03 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
from Wikipedia, regarding Narcissistic personality disorder: 'recent research has identified a structural abnormality in the brains of those with narcissistic personality disorder, specifically noting less volume of gray matter in the left anterior insula'
NolanJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:14 on October 21, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't how the left brain/right brain relationship works.
luvmesumchewy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:55 on March 24, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BELIEVE ME!
pzlpzlpzl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, another joke about Trump! I wonder who reddit supports in the run hm...
thekyledavid ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:27:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody. Reddit is not a person and can not vote.
Angeleno88 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 18:20:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this bothersome to you?
pzlpzlpzl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:10:30 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Just would like to see some info about Hillary's leaked emails on reddit, but its never gonna happen, she paid too much to own media.
level777 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:03:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This was almost funny the first time I heard this joke on here during the primaries.
Wumer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:22 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This repost. I like it. ANOTHER!
Magneticitist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I just like how we absolutely obliterate him for dancing around questions with word fuckery because he's nowhere near as good at it as seasoned politicians.
It's like sheesh Trump, get with the fucking program. We want the common courtesy of being lied to with a little tact and finesse.
TheFuZz2of2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
I am mostly concerned with all the other people that are adamant that this is, indeed, how one counts to ten.
wbirkin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:20:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you really surprised?
TheFuZz2of2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:33:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, typo.
what_I_win ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Stahp! You're rigging the election!
KAtusm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The scary thing is how similar this sounds to a medical condition called confabulation, which can happen when you have severe damage to your brain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the best short men in yarmulkes to count my money. They are the only ones I let count my money. I could count my own money, because I'm the best counter with the best numbers. I have billions and billions of numbers. But I have short guys in yarmulkes for that. The best short men. Only the best. I don't have time to use my billions of numbers to count my billions of dollars, because I am so busy making plans to Make America Great Again. The best plans. Secret plans. But great, great plans. No one plans better than I do. Have you seen my daughter Ivanka? Everyone tells me how beautiful she is. Everyone wants to fuck her. I want to fuck her. And everyone tells me that she should be in the cabinet. Once I learn what the cabinet is, I'm going to appoint her. She will be the best cabinet member.
AllHailPutimirVladin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
China.
Anser_Galapagos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you something, you won't even say it. You people won't say it for how it is, the facts are, you just can't count. I have a special counting force and they are finding incredible things, incredible. The things they're finding, you wouldn't even believe they're so incredible.
Is_It_Me_or_Not ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have the best temperament.
Half_Finis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've counted a lot of numbers dealing with counting
stingrayzay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of numbers i know are UGE!!
Wikkiwikki420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know a stupid waste of time when I read one.
Mesohornady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Op was going to tell the other version of this joke but the results of the test were sent in an email and it was deleted.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:15:01 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
One is dumb and one a crook.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:21 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, is good joke. Trump iz dumb :P
MadKingBryce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:45:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This has been funny every time it's been posted here
Radeghost ยท -33 points ยท Posted at 11:57:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary drones everywhere. Lets talk about her recent leak, shall we? Of course not.
Dick_Tingler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:48:45 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Her "recent leak?" Did she piss herself? Or did you find something worth discussing?
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 15:51:45 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You choose to see half the light, im sorry for you friend.
Dick_Tingler ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:03:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I can be annoying, too.
Your username is even worse than mine. I'm deeply sorry for your lack of creativity.
What an intellectually stimulating conversation we're having. Friend.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:16:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't being annoying when acting like she might of pissed herself? You get what you give BUDDY.
Dick_Tingler ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Might have. Read the rest of the comment, PAL.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 19:46:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no boys, time to go home, yet another one has proven that the thousands of leaked documents showing mind boggling corruption is no big deal
hotpotato70 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 12:30:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Who cares about Hillary? We should be making fun of the actual future president, making fun of Hillary is like making fun of Gary Johnson
jakibaki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:11:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I (somewhat) get that you're enthusiastic about your candidate. But look at the polls. At this point it's pretty unlikely that Trump becomes president.
DuckSmash ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 18:43:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. The polls. The media is so credible we have to take what they say seriously people. (We actually don't)
ColonelHerro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What about Nate Silver, who last I checked, had called out at roughly 80:20 Hillary's way?
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 13:44:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I can get behind this
Observante ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I might think this was unbiased if it wasn't obvious English was your second language.
bob_tahoma ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:33:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
You joke now, but come next month he will throw you in jail...
Edit: not sure why this got down-voted. I know trump supporters don't understand the concept of irony, but I also didn't realise any of them were sophisticated enough to be able to use Reddit!
JackDarrah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So much for freedom of speech, right?
captglasspac ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:16:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not accurate: Trump can't stay on topic that long. He would have started talking about Isis or emails. Good effort though.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:33:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CHAIIIIINA
bettorworse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
GINA!!
DixonCidarMouth ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:53:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the only thing people have on Trump is the use of ad hominem, never anything of real substance like the dirt that is on his opponent
Nairobie755 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 19:24:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When ever Trump supporters hear something that goes against their glorious leader they shout shill, sellout and spout some unintelligible crap. Doesn't matter if it's factual or a joke the world is simply out to get them...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:37:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[removed]
beck1670 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:51:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
On top of that, a president's character is highly relevant to the job. It matters how people perceive him (especially in other countries and in the senate). For presidential candidates, ad hominem arguments are not fallacies. They're just arguments.
DatNewbChemist ยท -28 points ยท Posted at 13:53:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Aannnddd another Donald Trump joke....
I'll admit that I support him and I'm not shy in sharing that. That said, I laugh at a lot of the jokes and can probably even beat people to some of the punchlines. But seriously, is this sub just becoming some sort of anti-Trump sub? Can I just come here to laugh at a joke without having to be hit by Hillary this or Trump that?
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 14:38:57 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
which of his policies are you in favor of?
callmecraycray ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:52:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See, here's the thing about policies. Everyone has them. And they have policies for everything, but they dont have policies like mine. My policies are the best policies that these other guys could never even think of because they are too busy selling american secrets to the saudis.
From Mrs Bill: My policies are about the children because children are good and if you hate me then you hate children. Trump and Putin are teaming up to destroy all of our children. Everything wrong I have ever been accused of is bacause Putin and Trump are teaming up to take me down. They're after me lucky charms!
In summary, vote for pedro.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 15:12:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
looool, make sure you indicate that you're joking because he might think you're serious xD
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:57:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck, is summer break over already?
snoozebag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, kids are allowed on the internet whenever they want these days.
Noctis_Fox ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 14:54:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The one that doesn't include Hillary being appointed the most powerful position in the world.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:11:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
so... out of spite?
yes, because that's a good reason. go on..
Noctis_Fox ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 15:14:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Out of spite? Lol. Hillary's a criminal. That's enough reason.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:19:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
right, and which law did he break exactly? I bet you don't even know.
inb4 the 10 minute delay in response.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 15:36:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trump is a bozo I don't expect him to get much done compared to Hillary, Who is evil and pretending to be whatever will make her president so she can get in office and do whatever murderous bs will get her family the most power. Former senator Palpatine would be a lesser of two evils if you gave me palp v Hillary.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:40:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
sooo, just speculating now? where's your proof?
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Also how about over 100 classified emails. And an fbi that wants to toss their leader because they think he's a dirty cop for letting her off the hook.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:48:21 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Where is my proof that Hillary Clinton is a power seeking piece of crap? How about her whole career? Maybe it's her constant flopping on opinions that happen to coincide with what the people want. If I'm voting for someone I would like to have them stand for something, but all Hillary stands for is whatever gets her further along in politics. Lying to families of the people she got killed in Benghazi, pretty evil imo. I could go google stuff but if you like Hillary as a person this far into the election season you're what she would call a deplorable. If you think I like trump you're wrong. I'm just telling you that trump=Hillary-brains. If my choice is between two scumbags I'm gonna pick the stupid one of the two.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:50:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
your still just saying things without back up any of your claims...
or do you not know what proof means?
disclaimer: I'm not for anyone in particular and it doesn't matter since I don't live in a swing state so my vote doesn't count anyways.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"I could go google stuff" the reasoning as to why I didn't was off, but that's why I put if. Or do you not know what that means? It was implying I'm not going to find proof for a troll who knows exactly what I'm talking about.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:58:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you need sources to back up his claims that Hillary Clinton is a fucking crook?
Either you are under a rock, or a CTR scummer.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
yeah... she's shady, but you still need to provide a source....
is everyone like 12 or something? you can't just say something like that and not provide proof.
Foxehh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:02:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... I think she's shady as fuck but you actually do need sources for that kind of claim.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:12:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
That is literally like saying, "Yes, I heard the trade towers were hit by planes, but I need proof."
Head in a hole? I mean like 4 days ago it was all over the news that she was being fed questions for the first debate AND the town hall. Like a month ago everyone was talking about how she hired private investigators to try and smear sexual assault victims of her husband.
A quick google comes up with;
The list goes on and on. Shill harder. Good luck attacking sources on this one!
EDIT - Liberal attack strategy laid out pretty simply;
Ask for source
Attack source or person providing source
See the 4 CTR comments spinning below me. No counter arguments. Just 18 year old shills making < 2k for 8 months of work!. (If you go online and look at Correct the Record astroturfers, none of them have made over 5k since the election. It takes 400 comments an hour to make 8$ and they are taxed as independent contractors. Do better with your lives, losers!)
Foxehh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:16:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Wow you're really upset. And comparing literally the largest single terrorist attack in human history with some conspiracies is the funniest shit I've ever seen. Do you know what burden of proof is?
Edit:
Bahahahahaha
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
IT'S ALL A RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY GUYS! IT'S HER TURN JUST LISTEN TO THIS QUEEF ^
Foxehh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:26:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wat. How did you even come to that? It IS a conspiracy, although I personally think it's an accurate conspiracy. I even said she's shady as fuck. You just needed to learn what burden of proof is.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:31:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lemme help out your poor reading comprehension.
Now show me which one of the four things I posted are a secret plan. We know for a fact all of those things happened. It's on fucking leftist wikipedia, for fuck sakes. There is no secret. The word isn't still out on whether or not Hillary tried smearing sexual assault victims.
It's real!
Sorry.
Foxehh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:34:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So serious question: Do you think Watergate wasn't a conspiracy? The point is it was at one point a theory, now it's just a conspiracy. It was at one point a secret, the fact it's uncovered doesn't make it less of a conspiracy. I'm not even arguing the validity of it - I never said it wasn't real. I honestly think it's hilarious you're calling me the shill just because you're upset.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:37:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
oh boy, you're irredeemably stupid.
we can only explain it to you, we can't understand it for you.
you're talking about reading comprehension... looks like you're the one that's in need of it.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:38:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I GOT ME SOME CHARACTER ATTACKS, BUT I AINT GOT NO COUNTER ARGUMENT, HOSS!
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
the thing is... I already explained it to you.
that's why i said.
dude.. really?
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:43:53 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Doubling down with character attacks? 3d multi-dimensional loser-free-everyone-wins gender neutral go-fish, bb.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
well, now we know you're a troll. thanks for that.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:50:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Keep angrily downvoting, lol.
You know you burned their ass good when, "troll" comes out. Sit down, kid. You got nothin'.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
read what you're typing and tell me that you don't come off as a troll.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol this is so silly, did you really equate 9/11 with hilary clinton?
wow..
you know, this is funny, but at the same time, it's scary because there are some people who aren't going to fact check and believe you.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:23:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah oh ho wow I don't have a counter argument just personal attacks ho ho ah ha oh wow he he ho ho lol fuckin loser
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:07 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
before you butt in, we were talking about laws being broken. (criminal)
all you've posted are controversies.
the proof of burden is on the person trying to prove something.
I don't have an obligation to prove what you linked as being wrong because that was not the topic of conversation to begin with.
as I have said before, we all know she's shady but do we know of any laws she's broken? No, the answer is no. you haven't linked a single article or bit of information that indicated a law being broken.
before you try to sound smart, maybe you should actually look at the topic being debated instead of fighting a strawman
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Move those goalposts, kiddie. Just because her collusive buddies cleared her and found a quick patsy, doesn't mean these weren't criminal actions.
FileGate
ChinaGate
And EmailGate? Comey said Hillary did fuck up badly, but what was the intent?
You leftists come screaming in saying the establishment is evil for years and years and now suddenly Hillary is a saint. Wiki leaks has proven Obama and Hillary lied about the emails to the public, and you move the goal posts to;
"Yeah, but has she ever actually be prosecuted?"
Low. Grimy. Gross. Shoo hill shill, shoo.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:42:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you keep calling me a leftist but you don't even know where I stand.
holy shit. do I need to explain AGAIN??!?
we KNOW clinton is shady. but what LAWS were broken??
that's the proof that you're supposed to provide.
I already indicated that you're arguing a strawman.
and wtf is this supposed to be. lol pompous prick.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:49:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You aren't going to make your 400 comments/$8 before taxes arguing with me, babe. Each one of those examples other than the smearing of sexual assault victims involved crimes. Hillary and her collusive buddies got her off, and that is your defense.
That's fucking sad, shillBro. Comey goes, "Yeah it was classified and illegal and wrong, but what was the intent? I can't prosecute." and you leftist fall out of the wagon going, "SEE! SHE'S CLEAN!".
Hilarious. You're gunna hurt your back moving those goalposts all day. Lift with the legs. Heavy burden.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:12 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol wtf. lmao. what is this nonsense. how many times do I have to say this?
bye.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:19 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Summer break has officially ended, everyone. Brace yourselves.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:56:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:57:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pats head It's okay, sweetheart.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, this just proves it, does it not? are you not self-aware?
just re-read. everything. just really stop and think about it.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:05:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
We know you are upset. It's going to be okay. One day the big scary world will make a lot more sense to you. Here, angrily downvote me again. That will make our little princess feel better, I'm sure of it!
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:05:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol, i love this, you can keep creating accounts, they're just going to get banned again.
/u/cntbnmechromeextensn
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:50:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
"LOL! I know we can't actually ban you from my liberal safe space, BUT WE ARE GUNNA KEEP TRYING LOL LOL LOL"
They need to start giving you guys homework during the summer, for real.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol what?
you're on a new account because you've already been banned at least once for trolling.
nice to know that that's what you came up with in 4 hours.
and dude.. it's october. summer's gone mate.
cntbnmechromeextensn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This might shock you, but there are people that don't sit on reddit all day. I think I've commented throughout the day randomly even. If that isn't enough for you, I'm sorry, bae.
Oh god. It all makes sense now. Fucking leaves everywhere.
You're a fucking cutie pie. you know that?
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:17:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah proof I was too lazy to find! Ty
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
are you serious?
conspiracy theories vs 9/11
wow. did you even look at it?
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:46 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope still lazy, apathetic.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:52 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
then why say anything to begin with?
apathetic isn't the word you should have used based on your previous comments.
"i'm apathetic" -you
right..... you just stopped because you have nothing else to say and you're just backpedaling now...
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:14:38 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
How is typing things off the top of my head equivalent in effort to looking up proof to back it up? Hilary is a pos scum bag liar and you don't have to believe it for it to be true. Idc about your opinion enough to show you the sources I have read from over the past year and a half. So yeah, apathetic.
If you feel better about it I will cede and say you win the conversation. Congratulations?
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:37 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
andddd, you also don't know how to read.
so do you also feel apathetic to read and just reply to something you don't understand?
hmmm. okay... your reading comprehension is either 20% or you're an actual moron.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:25:32 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
My reading comprehension is low or I'm a moron meaning my comprehension is low. Who are you fighting? I'm sorry I offended you, honestly. I'm sorry if you had a shitty day man, but being a tough guy on the Internet won't make you feel better. Even if I was an ignorant shit, would condescending comments really get your point across to that kind of person?
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:18 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
remember when I said your reading comprehension was low? lol. me calling you a moron was me referring to the fact that you might have not read what I typed.
god damn man. i can not explain EVERYTHING to you.
and that was exactly my point. you aren't getting it. so I guess I got the answer I asked for.
Ssjonepunchshinobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:08 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Oh so you're referring to something you never said, and no saying I'm apathetic to reading doesn't mean i don't read it it means you think I didn't care while I read it. I'm done you can one up me after this because I won't respond. You won. So again congratufuckinglations.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:56 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol okay.
DatNewbChemist ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:51:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
As just a quick off the cuff remark, obstruction of justice.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBH-PIorRBM
Edit: Wow, and immediate down votes. Is that because you have reason to disagree with the congressman that served in the DOJ, or because you're just not happy with what he said? Based on the lack of replies, I'm going to sadly wager it's the latter.
ColonelHerro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Trump is a walking joke, so it stands to reason jokes about Trump are funnier.
snoozebag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol @ people downvoting you because they don't like that you're a Trump supporter. I fucking hate Trump, but I'm not going to downvote you for supporting him. (I mean, I also think Hillary is equally as retarded and support her no more/less) This website is populated by emotionally retarded narcissists.
Kudos for being honest, and kudos for staying true to what you believe is right. (Even if it's wrong ;D haha)
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 14:41:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
They'll upvote anti trump jokes, downvote Anti hillary jokes, and downvote Trump supporters.
So standard procedure.
DatNewbChemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:54 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm quickly learning that that's the MO. Kind of depresses me to be honest. People can have their opinions and all that, but to just go "Nope!" to anything that remotely opposes your view? As much as I hate to say it and it's probably more because this morning has just been terrible for me than the actual situation, but sometimes I just straight up hate people.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
it's more of, can you back up your claims or not.
if you can't back up what you're saying, you get down-voted.
source:he's being down-voted because he didn't provide a source.
see how easy that is?
people in the world aren't out to get you... you aren't as important as you think you are.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a source, idiot. All you did was repeat your claim and call it a source.
Do you understand how real life works?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:29:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He didnt claim anything, so stop strawmanning.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:38 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I was replying to you... not him...
lol what? where? stop trying to sound smart. you clearly can't identify what a strawman is.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:46:48 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you know what Correct the Record is......
jakibaki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:59:30 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mixed up shill and strawman...
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:49:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
now I really don't think you know what a strawman is..
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:48:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This is a joke sub. The above two aren't making any "claims".
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:06:18 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you should re read things before you say something.
or at least try to improve your reading comprehension.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:08:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What? Lol dude what the fuck is wrong with you?
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:11:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
do you still not get it? shall I explain it for you?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:13:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, by all means, please do.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:17:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you said
yeah, the first one isn't, the second one is.
second, why is what you said relevant to what I was saying?
I said
which was in response to this claim
he didn't back up his claim as to why he was getting down-voted.
like I said, read before you sound stupid.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
Lol I sound stupid? The votes are the back up idiot. You sound like the vein in your forehead is bulging, your face is red, and there's not enough oxygen getting to your brain.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
lol wow, you amaze me.
you still don't get it after I explained.
I can't understand it for you... I can only explain it to you..
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:00:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You can't "get" things that make no sense. You may think I need to learn how to read, but you need to learn how to think. What you're saying is some of the most mind numbingly stupid shit I have ever heard.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:16:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
that's another thing that you just don't get.
just because something doesn't make sense to you, it does NOT mean that it doesn't make sense to everyone else.
the world doesn't revolve around you. get over yourself.
and btw, you can edit your comment to back pedal but we can all see that you edited your comments. lol... come on man...
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:41:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lolol what? Ahahahahahaha get over myself?
"I demand proof that the vote count on these comments has anything to do with the content of them!!!"
Believe me, it doesn't make sense to anyone.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
you see, that right there? I didn't say any of that. lol.
remember what i said about your reading comprehension?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:46:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You want a fucking source, a citation, for "why are the pro Trump comments being downvoted?"
And then you call re wording your statement a "source". I'm starting to have a feeling I've been feeding a troll, because nobody capable of typing correctly spelled words can be this fucking retarded.
ThisToastIsTasty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny because you lot still think that people are out to get you.
no one fucking cares. only reason i'm still talking is because you keep replying to me with your lack of understanding.
Foxehh ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyy
biggest_guru_in_town ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:50:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thedonald is leaking all over.
Gr8hound ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 12:25:15 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so tired of all the petty Trump bashing, but I still laughed at that one.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:27:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Okay....I laughed...AND I'm begrudgingly voting for Trump!
thehermitcoder ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 17:00:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By the way, what Bill Clinton did while counting to 10 was way worse!
_StarWars_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:51:44 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bill The Rapist!
riddleman66 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:27:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's a pretty bad Trump impression.
gelq1234 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:56:47 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CTR has jokes now, do you get paid extra to be funny?
blue_at_work ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:51:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
DAE hate Trump!!
Upboat me! I'm SUPER EDGY-EDGELORD to hate on Trump! Such brave, much original!
multinillionaire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:40 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone calibrates their decisions for maximum edginess, bub
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lame.
Trump jokes are low hanging fruit.
boysington ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 10:07:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Gates and his vaporware?
Hexxman007 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 17:09:25 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
they removed a womans brain and when they asked her to count, she said, " I already did count, I swear i did, im not lying," when the informed her they had proof she didnt count to 10, she said " I made a mistake yep, just a mistake.
skullminerssneakers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Downvoted because of butthurt shills
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:30 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
No because the joke sucked.
skullminerssneakers ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So taking something trump says and applying it to a scenario is comedy gold
But doing the same for hillary isn't?
.....right.
Hexxman007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:25:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
i dont mind , it is kind of expected, i didn't realise there were that many women on reddit though, but im obviously wrong there.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:14:50 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't say the post was funny but okay.
[deleted] ยท -21 points ยท Posted at 11:56:02 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
lespaulstrat2 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:57:34 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I bet that made sense in your head, didn't it?
na6362 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
pretty lame joke
fNek ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:13:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Let's see if we can get the post's score to be exactly 2016 (was 2013 when I wrote this)
vice_vigarista ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:34:17 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The GREAT joke ever, believe me
swr3212 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:45:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Repost of when trump became republican nominee.
djeezuskryste ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:54:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
CHAIIINA
Retrograde_Lectin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. This is awesome.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:24:29 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen this reposted 16 times this year
bettorworse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
REPOST!!
Keebookeeb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:27:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is this Donald Trump?
IAmaBoredIntern ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:55:39 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
This joke was on here last month
geocitiesuser ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 17:18:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
http://i.imgur.com/fviVPNi.png
This is not /r/jokes this is /r/fuckingstupid
XSeverePigeonX ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
someone has to kill Donald Frump someone has to
DuckSmash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:41 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
The talking man on the TV told me Trump is a big bad boogyman
mattemer ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:04 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's already threatening violence now and not dissuading his cult that is agreeing. This will make it even worse, unfortunately.
skullminerssneakers ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 18:01:08 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Fix: they removed the brain and he said:
Everything they just said is a lie. Can i get the fact checkers on that? Go to my website hillaryclinton.com and fact check that statement. But i don't have time to explain why thats wrong, I'd be here all day.
thekyledavid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:28:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Hillary Clinton isn't a man though
Yoshimods ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:01 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently you get a free sex change when they remove your brain. That's quite interesting.
skullminerssneakers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:28 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And apparently you become another person when they remove your brain.
Are you really reading this much into a joke?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
hillary's intern's are getting kind of funny
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
A+
VervDervGerv ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 17:54:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nice anti trump rhetoric. Go back to supporting a pedo.
tomasz55 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 17:55:52 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wut
BlindLemonLars ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:06:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
He's a little mixed up as to which candidate is likely a "pedo."
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/lawsuit-accusing-trump-raping-girl-13-december-hearing-article-1.2828413
Kiskavia ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 18:47:00 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
tfw reddit makes fun of a man with an IQ of 156 :D
TryAgainIn8Minutes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:29:03 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
You're trying to tell me that Trump is just 4 points below Stephen Hawking?
Kiskavia ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:22:04 on October 17, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not trying to tell, just trying to remind people.
topdeck55 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:23 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I have this pinned from the last time it was posted.
https://twitter.com/topdeck55/status/720328244994572289
Everything_Is_Koan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 17:27:26 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
...and he made America Great Again.
Yoshimods ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:36:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
By pissing off Russia and North Korea, and causing a nuclear war.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:41:44 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TryAgainIn8Minutes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:42 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What the heck is this?
Dsvstheworld ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
What a terrifying prospect for president. I can't believe we are at this point. This is a GOP creation however. They always went to the fear mongering, the hate and the "anti intellectualism" as an asset and this birthed Trump.
ekolis ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Scientists removed the right half brain of a woman...
And she turned into a man.
positive_electron42 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Unrelated redirection to Hillary.
[deleted] ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 17:20:13 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Woah you guys are so witty and funny. "Deerrr I made fun of trump and support a racist criminal derrr". Fuckin morons. Must suck knowing your candidate has parkinsons
chair_boy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:49:33 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
http://i.imgur.com/B5BSVqH.png
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:58:46 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)*
[deleted]
skullminerssneakers ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:31 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
That's completely false.
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 18:00:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
And when Jokes about Hillary are made liberals riot lol, like the fuck do you even sound?
thekyledavid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:27:24 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
When does that ever happen?
In every joke I've ever seen of Hillary, there never seems to be any salt in the comments.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:55 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
In just about ANY reference to Hillary and her rapist husband as a joke and he left has a hissy fit.
Hillary also raped me. You have to believe it because I said it
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have any examples about the hissy fits? I've not seen them.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:53:06 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking at one right now
thekyledavid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:56:32 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not a Hillary supporter, I just don't know what you are talking about.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:04:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about you being salty. U need to calm down
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:43 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Not salty, just wondering what you are talking about.
I am pretty calm.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:38:51 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Mad hostile yo
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:52:35 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Never have I seen someone talk so much and say so little.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:16 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Now all I need is some french fries to go with your salt. MAGA
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:05:14 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
See my previous comment.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Bro Hillary's out in the public eye way too much lately
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:27 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a chatbot? You seem like a chatbot.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:35:30 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom is a chatbot
thekyledavid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:59 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I know
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 11:43:49 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dontwhatdoing ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean ' /sed *r' :P
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 12:06:37 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dontwhatdoing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:08:10 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
AxB or A*B = AB while A-B = A-B
Similarly AB/A or ABรทA = B
SweetSweetKarmaPlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:56 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Irrelevant username?
Naeaes ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 10:46:58 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Is very funny. Like it.
[deleted] ยท -26 points ยท Posted at 17:05:20 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Everything_Is_Koan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:28:05 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
So salty :D
Yoshimods ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:40:11 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, trump has the moral high ground you say? Didn't he sexually assault a woman?
arcrawford16 ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:02 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
I love counting. What are we counting tho? If u get to 4 that's the number of dead bodies your politician is responsible for in Benghazi. If u get to 46, well that's the number of suspiciously dead people involved with your politician. 31,000. We all know that number. My point is personally I do not like Donald Trump, but voting for Hilary is a vote for an establishment that all of us have complained about forever.
_StarWars_ ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 17:51:09 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Killary
TheDude1451 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:24:36 on October 16, 2016 ยท (Permalink)
Nope