A Jewish man sends his son to Israel to live there for a while . . .

/r/LifeProTips

'The real LPT is in the comments' basically means that every time someone posts an LPT (life pro-tip) somebody else posts a better one in the comments.

He lacked what you had...

My life is wut.

CaLAMmity

I wrote it with Mel Brooks' voice in my head.

Yep. I think OP's way works fine in writing - it's concise and gives enough clues to understand the implication at the end. Your suggestion works better when actually telling the joke, because people will naturally wait for what comes after "that's odd..." unless you insist very heavily on that expression every time. Using a longer expression like yours, or one very typical of Jews, will help people to get the clue and focus on that.

Whoops, going to say the same thing

And crumbs.

splittin*

"With Jews like these, who needs anemones?!?"

Nailed it

We're all Christians now.

Hi Jesus, I'm Dad

That'd be Adam, Eve and the snake? Go on...

Who is God's son?

Someone please give this guy gold.

Dont do that

OOOOOOOooooooh

God had a son?

Pretty sure Jesus didn't become a Christian.

I am not sure Jesus is a Christian, I mean, does he follow himself? Can you follow yourself?

Jesus Christ died a Jew. just saying.

I got that part, but i still don't get it. I mean there aren't 3 Jesi in the bible. And what does a Rabbi have to do with the entire thing? Im serious Jesus wasn't the son of a Rabbi...

But Jesus ws jewish, if we are talking about Jesus because we are all God's children. People that worship jesus are CHRIST-tians because he was "Christ". How can he worship himself?

not the best joke. falls flat for me.

He's the messiah of references.

This is a comment that expresses the thoughts of /u/jclark5093 in a more concise way. It is also in quotations which expresses that this may be the view of many people inside of this sub-reddit which features jokes. This comment you have made very much emphasizes the idea of "that guy" in a way that has made things more clear to, not only me, but others that may view this thread. Thank you.

Also, this current comment that I have made is in response to your comment that you made to me. Thank you.

Even if you're going to make that argument, this isn't a joke about Jews who traveled to Israel to found their own religions.

Doot

I as well, and you have my gratitude.

We are all welcome in this blessed day

This sounds like a familiar reference but I can't remember what thread it's from somebody help

Haha. funny

I look at it daily, it is in the top 50 of r/all pretty often for some reason.

[removed]

I don't subscribe to any subs, so sure.

Sweet.

Oh my bad, I guess I just assumed that "thanks" means the same thing as "thank you". Fucking idiot.

I too was just thinking the same thing earlier today...that's odd.

Nothing. I just see someone asking if the second part was a joke. Missed the context. However, just pointing out that this isn't a fresh joke at all. I've encountered it several times and recognized it from the first line.

I for one am... not

But that's not what I'm arguing against, I was simply defending the guy who said that this is a common joke. Guy above claimed it wasn't common because he never saw it on Reddit so I said that it's a very popular joke IRL.

Yes?

Well played, sir.

Depends - Is mayonnaise an instrument?

No. You can tell by that squiggly thing at the end where the question mark should be.

He likes to jeep you guessing.

I still don't get it...

So all of their kids are jesus? I'm so sorry I'm dumb lol

LOL!!! Well at least you know he was a Jew...

When Jesus was murdered there was no such religion as "Christianity"... This is a duh! moment. ;)

[deleted]

Jesus never worshipped himself.

That's One of the families in Romeo and Juliet, right?

That's odd...

And I'm an atheist and I believe that religion isn't rubbish. I believe that it is there to question our morals.

Haha, I can't wait to Tel Aviv this joke. He's going to love it!

Damn, A fucking +.

Judaism doesn't say there is no God.

It's a good thing nobody ever claimed that, then.

lad       lad  ladlad  lad       lad
lad       lad  lad     lad       lad 
 lad lad lad   ladlad   lad lad lad
  ladladlad    lad       ladladlad
   lad lad     ladlad     lad lad 

    wew        wew     wewwew
    wew     wew   wew  wew   wew
    wewwew  wewwewwew  wew   wew
    wewwew  wew   wew  wewwew

^{but seriously, calm down}

Jewdism

Judaism is belief in the Jewish God. There's more of an argument that Christianity is a sect of Judaism than there is for your claim.

Well that's not really true. Judaism does believe in the messiah, it's just your more traditional Jews believe the messiah has yet to come while Messianic Jews believe he's already come. Both would agree the Torah(Tanakh) is authentic, but Messianic Jews interpret Jesus and the New Testament as the continuation of it. They both have the same root and so Messianic Judasim is another form of Judaism. How are they in any way mutually exclusive?

Judaism has been waiting on a Messiah. Jesus came along and some believe he was it, some do not. That's the only difference between messianic Judaism and traditional Judaism. Otherwise it's the same religion through and through. There are different ways they follow the teachings and messianic Jews also study the teachings of Jesus, but this is no different than another sect of any major religion that has different views than the main counterparts.

Source: formerly messianic Jew.

Considering Jesus fulfilled every one of the 365 JEWISH messianic prophecies I wouldn't consider that silly at all.

Should the Jews still be waiting around for their real messiah to be born in Bethlehem?

It's not a "Christian" joke. It's a joke for anyone who knows the basics of Christianity. Jews, atheists, and muslims can laugh at it too.

I thought it was a double joke in that the three Jews went to Israel and now they've discovered Christian theology is correct, returning home as Christians.

Maybe one rabbi.

yes

Yeah, but he started Christianity, and he believed everything that modern Christians (are supposed to) believe, so I guess we could call him an "honorary" Christian, lol.

It confirms Christians were right, not that Jesus is a Christian.

Neither did Jesus, really.

I don't see how that's relevant. Jewish people nailed Jesus to a cross because he said he was the son of god. How is he still a Jew at that point? I realize it's technically a race too, but is he still a Jew from a religious standpoint? Plus it's stated in the bible that Jesus is the son of a virgin.

Big sky man send little sky man to jew world, comes back as what mommy and daddy believe

Did you know Jesus was a Jew?

ELIAZ Explain Like I'm a Zygote

Ayyy

The original point of carving "INRI" into the cross is to indicate his crime, sedition against the Roman authorities. At the time, Judea was a Roman province, ruled by a Roman-appointed official (Herod was not "king"). The Romans maintained this system through the usual means, graft and military power; in addition to the civil authority (represented by Herod Antipas during the time of the Passion and the Roman governor Pontius Pilate), there was a religious authority that controlled the Temple (the Jewish Sanhedrin). This religious authority was basically part of a quisling government, supporting the Roman imperial occupation of Judea.

Challenging this set of authorities was extremely dangerous and the Romans would have punished it severely - this is why Jesus is often observed being very careful about not saying seditious things (as when he is asked whether people should pay taxes, and he says "render unto Caesar", that they should, because to say otherwise would be seditious).

Even when confronted with the charge of sedition, and accused of wanting to be "King of the Jews", Jesus proclaims his innocence. However, it's too late - his attack on the Temple is a clearly seditious act, and Jesus is punished with the death penalty, and his crime is noted on the cross so passersby (and his followers) can see the consequences of his sedition.

TIL. Should've paid more attention in school.

INRI is the Latin abbreviation for Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum (Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews). FYI.

What does INRI actually mean?

The people that gave him that title were likely religious in one way or another....

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And Pilate asked him, Art thou the King of the Jews? And he answering said unto him, Thou sayest it.

Wait, what about these guys?

yes

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus,_King_of_the_Jews

no proof of that anywhere

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/INRI_(disambiguation)

INRI or I.N.R.I., Latin acronym meaning "Jesus of Nazareth King of the Jews", often used in a Christian context

None whatsoever

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+23:38-43 ignore that "THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS" part in the bible.

http://biblehub.com/matthew/27-37.htm none whatsoever, don't be absurd

No sermons or anything http://www.brow.on.ca/Sermons/King.htm that claim

Today my task is to invite you to accept and come under the authority of Jesus. He not only wants to be the King of the Jews, but the King of every nation, and city, and family. And that begins for you when you submit to him as your King. He has provided a very simple way for you to make your submission. "Here is my body, here is my blood. Take and eat this as reminder that I died for your freedom." There is much more you can learn about the meaning of the communion service, but that is a good place to begin. Open your hands and your heart to Jesus your King. I never heard of anyone who said they had been disappointed by him.

Nah, nobody in the world has ever thought of this before let alone anyone religious!

that's not what they thought he was

That's what they wanted him to want to be, or what they wanted people to think he wanted to be

"Not here... Not like this"

how do you know what he wanted?

John 12:12-15New International Version (NIV) Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

12 The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. 13 They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,

“Hosanna![a]”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”[b]

“Blessed is the king of Israel!”

14 Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written:

15 “Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion; see, your king is coming, seated on a donkey’s colt.”[c]

Matthew 21:1-9New International Version (NIV) Jesus Comes to Jerusalem as King

21 As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, 2 saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. 3 If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

4 This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

5 “Say to Daughter Zion, ‘See, your king comes to you, gentle and riding on a donkey, and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”[a]

Idk, I've met some pretty stupid religious people in my life.

Remember when "literally" actually had a meaning?

https://youtu.be/ZKsN-AeqJP0 That's taken from a sermon. It's spontaneous, I think. And old. They labelled that on Him because of the time when He was being treated as a king while riding a donkey.

Really? Christianity started as a messianic Jewish sect, I think it's hard to say he was 'never' referred to that way.

Literally no religious person has ever refered to Jesus as "King of the Jews"

Have you ever noticed how in Catholic crucifixes, they often have "INRI" inscribed above?

Guess what what that Latin abbreviation comes from.

I'd be willing to bet you that a large portion of christians actually believe his title to actually be "king of the jews", because a large portion of christians don't actually understand the faith they claim to subscribe to, and just assume that what they believe is "correct".

King of the pedophiles? Or is that just the pope?

EDIT: And I think you will find they have https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus,_King_of_the_Jews

Oh. That would explain why I didn't get it.

I checked the extension first... jpg files don't do that.

The link says photo

Are you enlightened by your own intelligence

I dont know what music you listen to in order to give you the perfect explanation, so I'm just gonna guess. If Bo Diddley came up to you and said "I am the son of God", of course you would trust him.

Apparently you had to be there.

Say some good stuff, get a cult following, have dictator of worlds largest empire believe in cult, go from there.

He turned water into wine. Also his dad killed literally everyone on the planet that one time.

The Gospels are a contemporaneous written account of his life from firsthand witnesses. There are other non-Biblical records of the sect of Jews who believed the man Jesus was the son of God.

Obviously, most people don't believe that something being written in the Bible makes it true, but that is the record we have from the witnesses, that is the basis for all that came after, and the whole story falls apart if you leave that out. If Jesus was a very wise man who liked to be nice and whose message consisted of "Don't be a dick," his being killed makes no sense, nor large subsets of the Jews making the radical choice to believe that Jesus was something far more and change their lives. "A nice teacher from long ago" is all most people want Jesus to be, but it doesn't hold up with everything we know. Jesus was a religious figure who made claims of divinity, or he was an incredibly deluded and brazen madman or liar, but "famous nice man who told people to be good" is not a reasonable option for understanding Jesus.

C.S. Lewis (and a few other before him) put it this way: assuming the Bible accurately portrays the man, then Jesus is either a lunatic, a liar, or the Lord. People follow him because they believe the latter.