I'm a bum, and know I need to change, any advice?

From my experience you just throw yourself into it. Parts of bettering yourself will come easier and much quicker, but some won’t. Set a path that you know, you’re capable of following. Also, don’t tear yourself down for any failures you may have, because failure always lays somewhere on the road to success. Keep your head up King, you got this!

Start slow. I made the mistake of wanting to do everything at once: quit porn, healthy eating, working out 5 days, going to bed early, ... Which caused me to get burned out REAL quick. Take your time. Start by quitting soda. Then after a week, maybe try eating 1 piece of fruit daily. Then 2 pieces after some time. Then start tracking your calories and watching what you eat. Then start working out 3 times a week. Then ... You get what I'm saying.

Allow yourself some rewards. Don't go all out and become this completely different person because you aren't that person yet. Change takes time, both physical as mental change.

Take baby steps. Start by abstaining for 24 hours. Give yourself credit for it, then commit to another 24 hours.

Also, get a job. I’ve found that structure is best.

Look man, diet is the foundation for everything else in your life. If the foundation is shit you can't build anything off of it. Stop loading up on carbs and sugar, eat more clean, grass fed meat/wild caught fish, and just pay attention to what you are putting into your body. You don't want to fill up a diesel tank with gas if you know what I mean

The first three days of not fapping will be painful. Once you graduate from that, take cold showers every morning. Build mental discipline first. Then, set your goals. Mental discipline is the key

First off, you're still really young and can make really fast changes. start with a certain habit, hold onto that habit untill youre ready for the next. build it up, its okay to slip. aslong as you dont tempt yourself next time.

Gaming isnt that bad for you aslong as you dont overdo it. Perheps try Jodran Petersons book, 12 habits of life. Altough you shouldnt necessary do everything. it will give you some great general advice.

That’s exactly how I was at your age.

I also never was a fan of alcohol. I’m only thankful I didn’t have a ‘taste’ for it because at 24; I’ve seen it ruin almost ALL of my friends lives(and even to the point we’re not really friends anymore).

Really just doing stuff is enough.

focus on one or two problems at a time and when you no longer have to focus on that good habit anymore, focus on another one. You generally need to replace things like TV and Xbox with something else and those are the hardest, so once you get some momentum going replace those with a healthy habit of your choice. Also you will fail a lot just try and fail less every time you try again. If you want to eat healthy, you will need to learn how to cook. eating healthy is the best place to start in my opinion

Like the other guys said start slow. I’d say something like lifting is a great place to start (was for me) as it provides something you can become passionate about and improve at, unlike nofap and other shit which is just depriving yourself of releases, where as the gym actually acts as a positive release. Prioritize adding healthy/positive things to your day rather than obsessing over each and every unhealthy thing you do, those can come later. Fuck a girlfriend. If you feel like shit rn no girl worth your time is going to want to date you anyway. Get in the fucking gym, eat food like a man and not a little kid, and start loving improving yourself. Give it a year and people will notice, not only by how you look but by how you maintain your composure, confidence, and frame around others. People will treat you differently and you will love it. Go read the wiki on /r/gainit, watch some lifting form videos from Alan Thrall, and get a damn gym membership. After you can consistently go to the gym and eat all your food every day, start adding more cleanliving things. Reading is great.

The first thing you need to do is fix your sleeping pattern, everything else comes after.

What helped me was getting a job, which gave me less time for shit like games, it funds my hobbies and you start valuing your free time much more

If you enlist in the marines and go reserve you will probably put yourself in a decent position physically and at least have had a break from computer use etc Could always quit at the end of boot camp so you have no obligations. Who knows maybe that part isn’t a good idea but you’d get much healthier quickly

You are very young, to your advantage. Start adulthood, hit the ground running by eating a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, and lean meats or go vegetarian/vegan. I've been vegetarian since February and it has improved my health a lot. Also pick up a productive hobby, or even one that improves your physical or mental wellbeing such as reading or exercising.

Just do it. Also meditation

Start slow. I would recommend you to start with quitting porn cold turkey and lower the gaming time. These subreddits subreddits are packed to the brim with advice and success stories.

r/nofap

r/pornfree

r/stopgaming

Just remember, you have to do it yourself. Don't get obsessed about reading everything on these subreddits. Also putting a reminder for this thread. I'll be rooting for you, brother.

!Remindme 10 weeks

Leave your house every day, even if it’s just a 5 minute walk

Consider joining some sort of accountability group for NoFap

Sleep in a different room to your phone, computer etc.

If you use social media a lot, change what/who you follow to avoid wasting time, there are so many useful resources and accounts on social media that you can use as tools to help you, don’t get controlled by cheap entertainment and waste hours consuming meaningless content you barely enjoy. That’s not so say entertainment is a bad thing at all, just that you should be mindful of whether it is serving you, or controlling you

Find a simple workout program, try r/Weightroom for advice as it’s much better for lifting than r/Fitness. If you look at their wiki/community info you can get a good grasp of what makes a good program, and find some simple ones that are proven to work.

When you are not lifting, do some active recovery on you rest days, it doesn’t have to be running but any low to moderate level of cardio vascular exercise will be extremely beneficial to your physical and mental health without interfering with your recovery from lifting

Avoid processed foods, especially ready meals, cooking might seem daunting but it can be very simple and will give you valuable life skills, there a lot of adults who are still clueless when it comes to cooking

Food/fitness/lifting subreddits will have good, easy to understand information on how to improve your diet

I assume you are still living with your parents, if so tell them about the plans you have to study/ go the gym or whatever else, and ask them to help you stick to it

I would also suggest reading, it’s much less addictive and mindless than scrolling through reddit and you can really learn a lot, find a topic you are interested in and look for good books in it you will be able to understand. Even just 20 minutes a day is good.

I’d also advise going on r/Skincareaddiction

I do not want to force religion on you because it isn’t my choice to make on your behalf, but consider looking into Christianity, you may surprise yourself, and if you spend even a bit of time on this sub you will see how immensely helpful it is too the people on here in achieving their goals, and the happiness it brings them

Finally, don’t try and go all out at once, take small steps, as long as you making progress overall, you are doing well. Set yourself daily, weekly and monthly goals and then some broader aims you want to achieve on a longer timescale, like 6 months or 1 year.

The daily goal might be to not watch porn, leave your house, do some form of exercise, to shower, and get some work done.

Weekly/monthly could be more specific, long term goals, for example to lift a certain wight in the gym, to finish a book etc

The long term goals would be were you want to end up by the end of that time frame. Think about that you want to achieve by changing you lifestyle and if it is reasonable that you manage it in the time you have chosen.

That’s all I can think of right now, good luck and don’t stress if it takes a while to change your lifestyle, as long as you’re improving you’re succeeding in becoming a better person, if you fall short of what you expected of yourself, remember what you used to be and ask yourself I you are better if now, and I’m sure you’ll say yes.

When I started on the path I started going for walks while listening to Tony Robbins audio books on YouTube. That helped me a lot. Part of it is motivation but the larger part is knowledge and strategies for improvement on whatever you decide you want to improve.

Be kind to yourself when you fail. Recognize you are changing your brain chemistry and body and it won’t happen overnight. Won’t even happen in a few weeks. It takes time to transform

Just wanted to say that I was like that until 25... imo what you described isn't a bum, it's a 17-year old

Good on you for noticing though, I think you just need something to give your life discipline and order and to teach you how to take care of yourself. Lifting does that for most guys. I don't mean just lift your mom's dumbell in the living room, I mean research the shit out of it, become a bodybuilder. Live it, be obsessed. Learn everything, do it perfectly, perform it with an iron schedule and will. It will teach you discipline, teach you how to learn a new skill, make you look good, give you self confidence etc. From there it's easy to start chasing other life goals, get laid and overall increase quality of life. Lots of people think lifting is "uhhh you just care about muscle", no, it's the cleanest embodiment of self-improvement. Just don't get into steroids and all that shit, lift to be naturally strong and live until 80-100

And, never get comfortable... I still struggle. I started getting my life in order 6 years ago, went back to uni and graduated with honours etc. Now I'm fucking miserable again and starting to get back on the good wave. My point is... it never stops, you don't just get better and stay good. No, it's a constant struggle, life is constant suffering. You need to accept that and fight it everyday. That's why discipline (which lifting gives you) is so important.

Join r/NoFap. Start working out. Find a new hobby and get started with it. You can do this brother.

Hey King, sell your Xbox, TV, and all your games for a quick and drastic change.

Have you thought realistically about your future? The Self Authoring Suite, especially Future Authoring will help with this.

Definition matters.

The hardest and most important thing is just starting. I’ve always seen habits as like snowballs rolling down a hill, good habits attract more healthy behaviour patterns and the same for bad habits attracting negative patterns.

It’s also very helpful to think and write out about why and how you want to change, this will act as motivation whenever you wish to slip back into bad habits. A great place to do this comprehensively is selfauthoring.com.

Lastly, something that helps me avoid engaging in negative behaviour is recognising that it is the times that we are tested the most is where the most growth takes place: i.e if I’m really horny and want to watch porn/jack off, I thinking myself that overcoming these temptations is what will rewire my brain and propel me forward.

Good luck brother.