brinazee ยท 689 points ยท Posted at 02:03:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman's kids were trashing an endcap. I asked them to stop and she was angry I talked to them and told me it was my job to clean it up, the kids were fine.
My response didn't go over well.
"Oh my word, your kids are so annoying. That's not an accident I have to clean up, that's intentional damage and you're encouraging it."
I saw a kid knock over a whole thing of bubble wrap and pick it up right afterward. It's not the kids fault, it's the parents.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:42:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the fact that our society allows that behavior for the sake of money is infuriating but mostly it just makes me sad. People should be held responsible for being assholes.
I was talking with a customer on the phone and giving her answers she didnโt like. Then she, this grown woman, just starts whining. Not like using words with a whiny voice but actually doing a โuuuuuhhhnnnnnnnโ kind of whining.
Iโve worked with toddlers a lot so it was just instinct to say back to her โMaโam, please use your wordsโ as if I was talking to a 3 year old.
A customer made a demand/loud statement one time, and I was sick of it. I told him โI can get you that if you ask nicelyโ, over-annunciating my words to get the point across. He became very nice and apologetic.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had customers like that. Most would double down and continue being rude
oyvho ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:36:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a primary school teacher, and that's exactly what our 5-6 year olds do when they get embarrassed.
I used to bluntly say "that won't be possible", if asked why "that isn't something that I'm authorised to do". I would repeat this until they either gave up, asked to be transferred or wanted to speak to a manager.
I just didn't care by that point though, so I would take no interest and repeat or pass the customer off.
Nurse here. I did that once and immediately facepalmed. Luckily I played it off and from there on out the patient and I got along great.
Funnily enough, I saw the patient months later and they asked me to perform some easy task for them and said PLEASE???? While making the silliest facial expression.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say go for it but Iโm not the one who gets fired
My family's phrase is "English, please?" - my parents would always say that to my siblings and I when we were talking too quickly and not enunciating well, but it's spilled over into other uses for me. Whether it works isn't particularly important, it's the saying it that's the fun part.
Ironic considering your username. She was the loud and snotty one.
Faeleena ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:24:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to my husband from time to time. If an adult is doing this they deserve it imo. I can't stand when adults don't use their words. Makes me want to scream.
I can imagine the customer was pissed, but it was the right thing to say. I tell my boyfriend's 5 & 6 year old all the time that I can't help them solve their problem, if they can't use their words to tell me what the problem is.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:56:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ๆๆ๏ผ้ผๆฏ้ฝไธๅคงๆไบ่ฟ่ฃ ๅฐๅญฉๅฟๆ ท
Spidey16 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:13:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah same.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were having dinner at the in-laws' once and my MIL, a primary school teacher, was trying to get my husband's attention by calling his name repeatedly but he was in the middle of a story so just ignored her. She started doing that whiny ehhhhh sound and he stopped mid-sentence, looked at her and said "Now H*****, use your words, please." She took it pretty well though, it was kinda funny. :)
SYOF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed.
I had a customer cry on the phone because she missed a deadline for a trivial thing. I would have helped her if I could have, but it was just too late to be physically possible. And, again, not important. After several rounds of "I want X" and "I'm very sorry, but X can't happen because blahblah; would Y or Z perhaps help?" the crying began. I went dead silent. It's weird how quickly she pulled herself together. Almost like she hadn't actually been crying. Huh.
A sensory tool used when children are having adverse emotional responses. They get the jar, shake it up, watch the glitter/beads/legos float around, take some deep breaths, and once the jar has settled, theyโre allowed to join the group again.
I have said that to patients. My boss has completely supported my judgment.
[deleted] ยท 6321 points ยท Posted at 01:24:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady was complaining about her parents in law and told me to make sure I like the parents of whoever I marry. So I said โOh my fiancรฉโs parents are dead so I lucked out.โ She did not laugh.
Just how English are you? The last time I saw the word "chortled" in print I was read the Beano or Dandy as a ten year old and I will be seventy in May.
I mean, shes complaining with a stranger, but she still gives you the stink face for a somewhat dark joke? That lady sucks, no wonder why her in laws dont like her
merc08 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 07:56:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless her in-laws were nice! I like my in-laws and are a lot closer to them than to my own parents.
Korhaka ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:26:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought my last girlfriend had reasonable parents... Until I tried cooking for her, fuck that went badly as they took offense to the meal I was cooking. I picked it as I knew my girlfriend loved it when eating where I lived. He parents were not so happy, even though it wasn't for them anyway. At least now I am a bit older I am unlikely to be with someone who lives with their parents now.
Can't have a girlfriend who lives with her parents if you can't find anyone in the first place!
One thing I don't tolerate is when people throw my kindness in my face.
Korhaka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:27:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Her mum didn't eat beef, fine, not a problem as she isn't eating it. And clearly has no problem with others eating it as she would often get beef lasagne in microwavable pots for my gf to eat. But the whole family, my gf included, got very mad at me for buying beef to cook for just me and my gf.
Something to do with saucepans having beef absorbing properties. I almost got to the point of saying fuck this and walking home, given how our relationship ended anyway a bit later, I probably would have been better off doing that.
Why did they take offense to that? Please share recipe.
Korhaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a recipe that I often alter quite a bit depending what I have available, typically though it's something like minced beef, onion, tin of chopped tomatoes, tin of kidney beans, beef stock, garlic, chili, cumin, corriander, cacao powder (failing that, darkest chocolate you can find).
Pretty sure that list is it, loads can be switched around though. Sometimes bell peppers to add some colour to it too.
Sounds so good. Now I want some. Thank you for sharing.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:27:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, they died long before I met my SO but from the stories he tells me they seemed alright in small doses. Like super conservative backwoods republicans but if you stay away from sensitive topics you could have a good time. Guess Iโll never know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. Maybe not. Dead parents could be a source of contention in a relationship. My parents died in my teens. My wife's parents were alive and well. We lived a few miles from them when we first got married and then about a year later we moved into the house right next door to them. I always had just a little bit of resentment over the fact that she had parents close by that she could go to when she needed advice and guidance and I didn't. It didn't help that I left my home town and friends too. So I had no one but her. She had lots of people and her parents.
I hope you are open with your wife about how you feel on this because I don't see things ending well if you just keep it inside.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She's my ex wife now. Things didn't end well because I kept way too many things bottled up rather than talking about them. Your prognostication is 1-0.
My husband's parents have both passed away long before I even met him and I can't remember who, but someone (probably on reddit) once told me "wow you're lucky you don't have to deal with a mother in law".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my SOs parents died long before I met him, too. He jokes about it just as much as I do. In fact, the first time we ever met he said something about a box and I said โyour moms in a box.โ And yeah, she was. Still is.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the in-law hate. I get maybe you dislike a boyfriend's parents or something, but there are people I know who have legitimately disliked every single one of their partner's families. My sister is like this - she's mid 30s, probably has had a half dozen of serious relationships and every single one she has had screaming matches with their mothers. I don't know if it's her, the type of guy she is attracted to (aka mommy boys) or a combination of the two.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:00:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโll give you another story about my fiancรฉ and his dead parents.
The very first time we ever met he made a comment about goldfish (the cracker) being in a box instead of a bag. And I said โyour moms in a box!โ And yeah. She is. And now that box is on a bookshelf in my house. He said he knew he liked me as soon as I made the joke because he also has a dark sense of humor. (Even though my joke was just a lame โyour momโ joke, it turned out better than expected)
kerbaal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:37:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine came over and was looking at a family picture on a box on the mantle and asks my wife "Oh is this your mom here?"
"Yup that is her"
"Nice, where is she now?"
"In the box"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They really are dead though
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She probably felt bad complaining after that. Happens to me all the time with people who don't know my mom died. They'll sit and complain about something and look to me to be like "yeah, I know what you mean. Mothers, right?". They don't expect the "Well my mom died, so..." My guess is it's guilt because they haven't considered what someone without a mom might say.
Are you trying to say you think this exchange is made-up? Because as someone who has worked a number of cashier jobs, I can assure you it is well withing the range of possibility.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be more realistic if the employee had just gave a monotone "no." While giving the customer a deadpan stare. The customer obviously becomes flustered and confused - can employees actually refuse orders? - the employee then starts laughing for the first time in three days - not because they find the dialogue funny, but because they fondly remember being able to be confused and angry a long time ago before this job.
nagol93 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda sorta reminds me of this youtube story I herd. It went something like that:
So I was working at subway in college and a very angry customer comes in and yells at me, demanding to see the manager. Now only people here are me and this 15 year old girl that started last week. So I said "ma'am the only other person here is a 15 year old girl who isnt legally aloud to use the toaster, im the closest thing to a manager your going to get".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: โare you sure you have enough pieces to spare?โ
Anyone care to explain the meaning. Haven't heard this expression before
"give them a piece of my mind" means "tell them what i think". "you dont have enough pieces to spare" means you dont have a large brain, your mind is lacking, etc. etc. it's not a saying one would hear, because the first part was the saying and his response was something clever that was playing off of what she said.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was the one thing I LOVED about my stint as a store manager in fast food. You learn pretty quickly to hear everything that is going on around you. So and so is getting snippy with my employee for no reason, so I walk up and go โhey (random employee) can you go check on the bread?โ. Then I can take over and they figure out quickly Iโm not dealing with their crap. Usually if you call them out on it, they either stand down, or do the โIโm not coming back here routineโ. Itโs a damn sandwich and Iโm making it in front of you. If we mess up, you will notice and we will remake it. We arenโt going to force feed you the damn sandwich.
When I was sixteen I worked at a restaurant with a bunch of sauces at two different stations. A customer asked for sauce from station two, but I was at station one. I just looked at them and said that would be really inconvenient. They looked exasperated and started to walk out. I explained to them I was joking but they wouldn't have it. They didn't think it was funny at all.
My boss came back and told me they complained. She thought it was funny. But that's probably a reason she went out of business.
I've done this to customers. Carrying three plates and have extra napkins tucked under my arm, plus spare cutlery in my apron. Crusty Custy goes "uhh, we ordered X as well." I just put on my most saccharine smile, look apologetic and say "I'm so sorry, but I only have so many hands."
ChzzHedd ยท 579 points ยท Posted at 14:30:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a restaurant that brings food out as it's ready, so it doesn't sit in the window. Usually we have accurate seat numbers, but sometimes with big groups they get off. I'll go to where the burger should be and say "OK, I have the burger. Who had the burger?" And someone will be like "I had the chicken sandwich!" And I'm like, "Im real proud of you, but this is a burger..."
"OK, I have the burger. Who had the burger?" And someone will be like "I had the chicken sandwich!" And I'm like, "Im real proud of you, but this is a burger..."
I really hate questions like that. Not because of the person asking, or even the questions, but because so many people just fucking sit and stare when a group is asked a question, even if it applies to someone there.
Example: "Who didn't get a [item]?" or "Did everyone get [item]?"
If you got [item], there is no way for you to answer those questions without hindering. You can't usually answer for everyone, so the only people who need to respond are the ones (if any) who didn't get [item]. But half the goddamned time the person asking will go on to treat those remaining silent like they're stupid for not answering.
Gods I wish every restaurant worked this way. It's straight up dumb that half your table had to wait ten minutes to get their pretzel bites just because one person ordered wings.
Of course if we did that we'd also need servers that actually run their damn food. I swear I'm going to stab somebody. Cough.
We have maybe a third of our FOH staff that actually runs their shit. Most of the time the manager does it. I run kitchen expo, so I basically just yell threatening things all night.
Or when they say they have the third plate you have. And you're just like "Dude, I literally need to offload this Schnit before I can give you your burger."
Your kitchen canโt manage to communicate so that everything comes up at the same time? Thatโs how itโs supposed to work, shouldnโt even need a heat lamp really.
ChzzHedd ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. Our restaurant is huge, and if we did that wait times would be outrageous (they already are), since that would slow down the tickets more. Servers time things out, and everything takes between 1-15 minutes, with most things taking between 3-7 minutes, so usually all the food hits the table at roughly the same time anyway.
Well then it may not be the quality of the kitchen but the number of stations it can support or it might not even have enough staff to fully utilize their stations. IDK. But not getting food out at the same time is definitely a form of disorganization.
Most chefs and cooks who come to stage are super impressed to see how our restaurant runs. The local health inspectors say it's the cleanest kitchen in the city. We're basically the biggest tourist attraction in our city after the mall. But ya, disorganized...
Do customers not realize different things cook at different speeds? Sorry I got my tendies first, dad, I didn't wanna wait 40 minutes for some fucking fajitas.
Nope. But if something is gonna take longer (for example a well done steak takes 40 minutes) I let them know and try to encourage them to order some garlic bread or something, so they've got something to munch on while they wait.
Maybe you could say "and X is on the way, as well" or something so that they know you didn't forget and you don't have to deal with them asking about it.
It depends on the customers. If they've been a little needy or difficult I do that, just a gentle "and X is following me out right now" or "I'll just dash back for Y", but if they've been super chill then I don't really worry. Usually people are really cool and understand that someone can only carry so much or that they may not have help carrying everything out.
Kind of the opposite in two respects but once i was at a restaurant during the summer. It was also in a small farming town so most of the guys there were pretty big (and consequently sweaty). We order our drinks, and when the guy brings them to our table he's caring one under his armpit (which was visibly sweaty) which he sets in front of me after wiping (barely) one side of it.
Needless to say i didn't touch it. Couldn't manage to say anything about it though which makes me wonder how these customers without an actual bone to pick start treating people like such shit.
My father, God rest his soul, was such an asshole to waitstaff I almost always refused to go out to eat with him. This one time my mom talked my sister and I into going to a family dinner at a nice steak restaurant. They seated the 4 of us and my mom immediately went to use the bathroom. The waiter comes over with 3 glasses of water. My father starts right in on this guy โExcuse me! How many glasses of water did you bring?โ The waiter politely said โthree, sir.โ โAnd how many people do you see sitting here?!?โ โUmmm...three?โ Thats when my dad realized my mom wasnโt with us. The waiter was very polite about it, but the rest of us made fun of him for literally the rest of his life.
I serve softserve icecream. I have gotten it down where I can fit 3 cones in one hand, but I still get people reminding me that they are still waiting on another icecream. It only takes 10 seconds and I haven't told them to have a good day yet.
I work in a small tasting room, 10 stools at the bar, and we have a group of 50 people show up for an event. After our spiel about the drinks one lady loudly (and very serious sounding) asks, "How are you going to serve us all at once?"
Sometimes I got so annoyed by this question (by regulars who knew exactly they would get their coffee in a few seconds) that I just said 'You know, I was born in the year of the Chernobyl accident, but unfortunately I didn't grow a third arm'.
Because it was a behind the bar situation at a coffee shop and there were about 6 employees back there rushing around, I didnโt want to risk dropping any hot coffee over anyoneโs back if the tray/drink carrier tipped over.
I was working at a pet store and we sold those spray bottles for training dogs and cats. Anyways customer comes in bitching that itโs not working and how we are complete scum and con artists stealing her hard earned money so I decide to test it out. Filled the bottle up with water, turned the lock on the nozzle (which the customer hadnโt turned) and proceeding to spray the customer in the face. I stood there for a few minutes with the customer in silence thinking โdid I just fucking do that.โ Then I said โsee it worksโ to try and break the tension... it made it worse. Owner tore me a new one, manager loved it and had the security footage saved to the desktop of the office computer.
A customer tried to exchange cash with me and I told her no and explained that we can't as a policy to protect against fast change artists. She really suspiciously, in an exasperated voice, was like "but I'm obviously not a fast change artist!" and without thinking I, "That sounds like something a fast change artist would say."
he was paying for a pack of gum or something small with a 50. as i was giving him his change he asked for certain denominations back. as i was doing that he changed the denominations again. as i was doing that he started to change the denominations again. at that point i realized i was just pulling whatever he told me to out of the drawer. i stopped, looked at him and just said "Dude".
he kind of dropped his eyes and mumbled "sorry" and i started over, giving him the correct change.
People would try a version of this with me all the time when I used to deliver pizza. They would ask me to break a big bill, usually a $100, then start chatting with me or something while handing me my "tip" without ever actually paying.
squired ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 07:42:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, but you know where they live. Would they just shamelessly say they paid you when you returned with the cops?
Fuzzl ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 07:48:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure where you live, but over here the cops won't put down their donuts to solve the crime of the unpaid pizza.
kidmenot ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 07:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's even less likely they would put down their pizzas to solve the crime of the unpaid donut.
Heat it up in the microwave but here's the key - half fill a glass of water and put it in the microwave with the pizza. This way the water boils whilst the pizza gently heats and it won't go all soggy.
I donโt know if you know this trick, but since you mentioned microwaves, and you shared a life hack, I thought Iโd share one too.
To clean your microwave really easily, put about a cup of water in a microwave-safe (you wouldnโt think Iโd need to say that but you never know lol) measuring cup or bowl, add some lemon juice or about 20 drops of lemon essential oil, add a few tablespoons of vinegar. Microwave it for about 5 minutes. All that gross stuck on food and splattered sauces and whatnot will wipe right out with a sponge or cloth. I use the water mixture too while Iโm wiping it out to rinse the sponge. That way you get it rinsed out and youโre using the water for extra cleaner.
I hope that makes sense. Iโm not so great at giving instructions. LOL
My 10 year old son loves hot sauce! He puts it on everything. I actually get Franks because thatโs his favorite. I buy the really big bottles of it. So I have some of that. Never tried it on pizza.
No, I donโt sadly. Iโve made homemade pizza. My mom has a really good pizza dough recipe that she came up with. The only ingredient I do have is flour. LOL
I can't tell if you're doing satire of anti-Americans or if you're anti-American doing a satire of "Americans."
But I live in the heart of deep Red territory, where about 90% of the district voted for Trump. I work at my family-owned gun store. There's literally no one that exists that is like that. Like I get that it's "satire," but you're making fun of something that doesn't exist.
No idea, I never fell for it. People would try all kinds of scams on us and I always wondered the same thing.
grOUgh65 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:25:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a gas station for like 2 days and once when I was there alone this lady comes in to pay for gas and a pack of smokes. Wants 25 in gas and the smokes were 5 bucks. She swore up and down I was short changing her so I visually had to show her what she was paying for. I think she thought if she kept complaining she'd get her way or confuse me.
I feel like that's a trick you can only use with a delivery place once. Either you get blacklisted, or you get a less-than-scrupulous delivery driver who wants a little revenge on the next order...
after reading this i realized someone tried to quick change me, wtf
my till was short on bills and mostly just had coins so it was kind of a pain in the ass to count. this chick came in to buy like $107.95 in merchandise with two $100 bills and because of the weird denominations in my till it took a while for me to count and gather the change. she started to spout random amounts to confuse me, saying she wanted certain denominations of bills that, unbeknownst to her, i was unable to give her. she started to just tell me the "exact" denominations she should get back, like four twenties, one ten, one five, 3 quarters, etc...and then she tried to "correct" herself, and her suggestions began to jump up in amounts, like five twenties, two tens, a five, etc... it got me super flustered and confused and i literally told her to stop talking and told her to follow me to the next till that i knew was fully stocked with tons of cash and change so i could give her the correct amount back. i eventually gave her her $92.05 back and she was so pissed lmao and it never occured to me that she was trying to short change me, just thought the lady was dumb as fuck
she was this oafish cow of a woman who, throughout our entire exchange, was incredibly rude to me โ the satisfaction of telling the doofus to shut up just felt really good, even if i didnโt realize what was going on at the time
Avizand ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 09:26:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oarfish cow
its five am and im laughing waaay too hard at this omg
Wow I had a similar experience while I was still training and never knew it may have been a scam. A guy paid for $5-ish with a $20 and then started doing what this lady did. I almost did it because I was flustered, but I managed to calmly and politely tell the guy to zip it and let me do my job.
I've had people buy cigarettes with a $100 bill and try that shit. I just give them the normal change and tell them I can't give them their requested bills. So far I've only had one guy try to dispute that.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:02:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Related scam. As a teenager I worked for a time at a subway newsstand. Guy comes up late one night and asks if he can borrow a $100 bill from my register. He will only need it for ten minutes to win a bet, then he will bring it right back. See, he has made a bet with some guys at the bar who told him he would never have a $100 bill in his life. If he wins the bet they pay him $100. Then he will return the $100 bill to me and then he and I can split the $100 earnings 50/50.
Didn't work on me but his confident demeanor suggested it had worked on others before.
Locke66 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:33:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just surprised he didn't try and give you a fake luxury watch or stolen phone as "security". That's normally plan B in that scam.
eareitak ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:55:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a bank and got quick changed once (we'd legitimately never been taught to look out for it and I was a dumb teen), and after that, I caught them literally every single time.
My dumbest one was when a guy wanted to change ยฃ500 in 50's for 20's. and after I counted it out and passed it over, he "counted it" and handed it back and went "Oh no, sorry, I meant ยฃ500 in 10's".
"So you want 500 in 10's instead?" "Yes." "Even though you slipped a bunch of 20's into your sleeve when you thought I wasn't looking?" "I didn't do that"
So then I started counting the 20's he gave back out to me, it came to like, ยฃ380, so I recounted it out to him again to prove that I caught him attempting to steal, and gave him ยฃ380 in 10's. He didn't complain that ยฃ120 of his money had mysteriously gone missing, since he OBVIOUSLY didn't steal it.
"Oh sorry, I wanted 5's"
I told him to leave.
Raichu7 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 09:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone try that on me before I knew what a fast change artist was.
I know Iโm really not the greatest at maths so as soon as they changed what denomination they wanted change in I automatically put all the money back and started again as I knew Iโd get confused and screw it up otherwise.
I got really lucky with that because the place I worked at would take any till discrepancies over ยฃ2 out of my pay.
If our tills are off by $15 in a week we get a write-up, and we have a 3 strike policy. It is pretty forgiving but sometimes I do wish I could jut pay the mistake away lol
Raichu7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd also get in further trouble if the till was off by too much or too often. The company would just also take it out of my pay.
I remember it being $5 over/under policy one place i worked. Like if you were over too often you were either fucking over customers or covering up your mistakes. You got like 3 chances being over before they'd start to write you up , but eventually you'd get in trouble.
would take any till discrepancies over ยฃ2 out of my pay.
I'd like to reply to any Americans reading this that this is completely illegal in the United States. One of the very few worker protections the US actually has.
I'm not saying it's legal or illegal in the UK, as I obviously don't know, but I figured I'd say something, as it turns out a lot of people are threatened with money being withheld for various reasons from their check, and don't know that it's incredibly illegal for them to do that for any reason. Also illegal for a workplace to disallow discussion of salary. Things I wish I knew earlier...
I had this happen to me once. A dude had a $100 bill and asked for 5 20s so I counted it back to him. Same dude puts money away & yells at me that I shorted him a 20 because he only had $80. Customers behind me were witnesses so I said "ask them. They have eyes like me & you. Have them verify you cheap scum"
I don't know man. I get where you're coming from, but I've always been taught to take the higher ground. What is it? An eye for an eye and everyone goes blind? Yeah there are assholes out there, but don't let them make you one too.
I work in a place where "customer service is #1 priority" so the instant I encounter a rude customer I disregard that & operate how I want. My actions are justifiable because once someone is a douche to me my boss gives me free reign to delegate the manner in which I so choose. Treat me like a subservient & I will reply back with snide remarks back to you. Treat me nice & I will reciprocate. Big advocate of treating others how you want to be treated.
And aren't you treating him how you want to be treated? I don't think calling someone cheap scum is how you want strangers calling you? That Golden rule is suppose to go for both parties, it doesn't decide just how people are suppose to treat you, it also goes for how you treat people...
And obviously he treated you like crap, and you gave it back. But by your reasoning, shouldn't you have taken the higher road and not resort to insulting? Just thoughts...
Normally I could care less about how a person talks to me as I just take it & move on with my day. But when they willingly go out of their way to get me deliberately fired because they have malicious intent then I drop all considerations about acting nice + friendly.
People get fired from my job for stupid things. Stealing coupons to save $2 off an order, marking down items to $4 off when they haven't gone out of code yet. Being under $20 in the till will most definitely get me terminated. I feel like I am allowed to call the person out on the spot to embarrass/shame them over them wanting to rip me off with the possibility of getting fired.
Well that's fair, but that's not treating others how you wanted to be treated, or in a professional sense at all. But again, it's whatever you value more. I don't think calling them cheap scum will help you keep your job, but it does make you feel better temporarily, and that's what matters to you.
I don't think calling someone cheap scum is how you want strangers calling you?
Perhaps if she were to try to shortchange a cashier she wouldn't have problems being called cheap scum. But as it is, she's treating the guy exactly as the guy deserved to be treated when guy decided to literally try to steal from her register. I think maybe that's the nuance you're missing here in sticking up for the scumbag.
All I'm saying is that there was probably a better way to approach that. Like "Sir, I ask you to not talk to me in such a way. I am certain that this transaction is correct, and if you have a problem with it then feel free to take it up the ladder, good day"
Instead of immediately falling to their level and hurtling insults at them. Be a better example for the world and take the higher ground.
And I don't think you can find something justifiable just cause your boss gives you the freedom too act in such a manner...
It's not being the better person. But I guess we just hold different virtues in different values. Where I think it's better to have character, you value short term satisfaction of traits as pettiness and revenge.
If people switch what they're paying with half way through, I always take what they've already given me back out of the the till and start from scratch.
I had an older man try to do this to me when I was in college and working as a cashier in a grocery store.
What he probably didn't count on was the fact that I was smart enough to not only realize what he was doing, but to also be able to figure out all of the correct change requests on my own. He ended up getting back from me exactly as much as he gave me.
I havenโt worked yet, starting next week, but my plan is whenever someone asks for money, I take out the last thing they ask for, and before handing it to them, I count it out before handing it to them
Would this prevent quick change scams?
nat_r ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends. A good con will try to fluster and distract you, making you make a mistake without realizing it. One of the things that can help is always keeping the initial cash they give you separate until you've counted out the change. That prevents them from claiming they gave you a different denomination of a bill and you shorted them. The other good strategy is to keep the money from exchanging hands in steps rather than at once. For instance, handing them the bills before you count out the coins for them.
Never be afraid to just start over if you think they're trying something or even if you just lose count. Also never be afraid to have a calculator handy to run the numbers, like if they give you money after the fact, so you can make sure you're giving back the correct change.
trdef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not quite sure what you mean? Take something out if they ask for money? So every customer you give change to your going to be taking their last item back?
No, say they give me a 100 and ask for 2 $20 5 $10 2 $5 and 5 $1 and then they say instead of 5 $10 just give me 3 $20 and 3 $10. I would keep pulling out the change they want, keep their money away from the register, and once I am going to give them the change, I count it out to make sure that it adds up
trdef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I understand now. For some reason I thought you meant you'd take something they were buying to one side until they had the change, not the money itself.
Just do as other people have said. Whenever they ask for a different set of change, put everything back and start again.
Yup. Had it happen to me in high school. As soon as he rushed out the door I looked down and noticed a denomination that he had requested and tried to get his attention but he bolted. My manager was standing right next to me and saw the whole thing. He didn't catch on either. We looked at each other after he left and I said "I think he just ripped me off." We closed the drawer and cashed it out and sure enough I was $50 short.
Dude I had something similar happen to me! But he was changing all the bills- like giving and taking them from me trying to get his shit sorted or confuse me. I still don't really know which one.
I just said "Wait." And I laid everything on the counter (i think he missed a step, as my drawer wasn't open yet) and waited for him to pick up and hand me an amount to type into the register.
I had one at Walmart. He paid for some little $2 cigar with a $50, then handed me another $50 and asked if I could break that into some $20's, then asked me to change the denominations again. I looked at him and said, nah, you're done. He goes, "you sure?" Yeah. "Ok." He took his change and walked a way. I had my manager count the drawer after he left and I was $20 over.
Davran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me once when I worked at McD's in high school. I had the guy's change in my hand and he's like "Oh wait, can you do X instead?" I bumped my drawer closed "accidentally" and then apologized since I couldn't open it again without a sale.
When I was working retail, we got a notice from LP that someone in the area was using counterfeit bills. They'd buy something small with a fake 20, and pocket $19 in real cash. Then, the business who turned in a bank deposit with fakes in it looked like the assholes.
Otherwise known as a Quick Change Artist really depends on who you're with. Basically they try to exchange bills at a cash register like how about you give me 5 20s for this 100 and then while you're counting, change the bill they want exchanged or ask for different values back, while trying to pressure you to make mistakes by chatting with you or saying they're in a rush. What they hope to do is have you give them extra money because you forgot you already gave them the change amount etc.
TeniBear ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 07:12:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lost $50 last year because someone thought I was pulling this on them. They really did mess up and only give me $50 from the $100 they were changing for me, but I had no way to prove it. At least it was for a charity event and by some miracle I was able to afford the loss for once.
EDIT FOR MORE CONTEXT SINCE PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THE SAME THING:
Iโve just realised that in all of my replies I havenโt quite given an idea of the scope of the event, and thus why I felt I couldnโt just ask for a manager to โcount the tillโ.
It wasnโt a tiny little local thing. It was at the biggest exhibition centre in the state, with at least ten thousand people in attendance. It was an all-day charity event collecting money for the childrenโs hospital, with at least a dozen rooms packed full of activities for both adults and children, all of which cost a few dollarsโ donation.
There were about ten people standing behind the windows all dedicated to changing the money from notes into coins, with huge burly security guards standing close by; and I would bet there was no less than $100,000 in various denominations behind those windows. Behind me in the line was another hundred or so people all waiting to go have fun with their kids; and standing next to me were my already-cranky-from-a-long-train-ride 6yo and 3yo.
So no, not really a โget your supervisor and count all of the moneyโ scenario. As soon as I realised she didnโt believe me (or didnโt remember me) I mentally weighed up my options and decided I could let it go. I just wouldnโt take part in any activities myself, just let the kids have fun, and it would pretty much even out in the end.
That's enough money that'd I'd have spoken with a manager or director and made them count the register in front of me.
I've had one too many cashiers try to short change me.
TeniBear ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:22:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Problem was, they were literally just there to change money, and not tallying the money in any way. I only noticed a couple of minutes later, so when I went back to say โhey I was meant to get another $50 backโ she looked at me as though I was trying to steal the money from sick children. Which, had it actually been a scam, I would have been. I was much too flustered to do anything else by that point, so I just awkwardly walked away.
I was just pissing into the wind, don't worry about it. The phrasing of "I was meant to get" sounded weird to me, and I'm American, so if it sounds weird, it's obviously some sort of British.
Don't worry about me, carry on, my Comrade.
TeniBear ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:37:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, Iโm tired and cranky at my kids so I thought you were just being an asshole. I see/get the joke now. Apologies for being snappy.
I'm sorry for my country, but not really, fuck you, mate.
(Anxiety self speaking now: I am really sorry for my country, this was all tongue in cheek, oh god, if you don't remind us about Seรฑor Bone Spurs we won't remind you about Abbott)
When receiving money for goods you put it on the till before you open it and count out the change and never put it away till the transaction is complete and the customer has their change, then if the customer says you short changed me or I gave you this note it is sitting on the outside of the till- I have had this very scenario and that is what saved me.
Yep, that certainly is a good way to do things. Wouldnโt have made a little bit of difference for me that day, but good business sense when working in retail.
Yes it is fool proof unless the transaction is past, then you would rely on your method and refute it, because that would defeat the purpose of covering yourself with this habit.
Nope same here but I ran an ice cream cart for 12 years and met people like this and was taught this method in cash handling and always knew I would not have finalized a transaction short as I would also count the change into the customers hand. If the ice cream comes to $4.30 and they gave me a $50 note I would put it on the till then proceed $4.30 plus 70 cents is $5 and $5 is $10 and $40 is $50 so $45.70 change and it gets easier and easier with every time you do it.
ZyxStx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:39:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct way of handling cash, never have it leave either party's sight until it has been counted and agreed upon.
If the ice cream comes to $4.30 and they gave me a $50 note I would put it on the till then proceed $4.30 plus 70 cents is $5 and $5 is $10 and $40 is $50 so $45.70 change and it gets easier and easier with every time you do it.
How else would a person handle money? I don't mean to come off as a jerk, I just don't understand what you are getting at. Isn't what you are describing just the standard, common sense way of handling money? Like how else would a cashier give change?
A lot of cashiers let the register tell them how much change to give. So they're given a $50 bill, they type 50.00 into the register, and it tells them to give $45.70 in change. They toss the bill into the drawer, pull out $45.70, and give that to the customer. Mostly it's down to training, I think - few are trained to do it the other way.
No I am not judging you, I am merely stating this method as the standard way to handle cash and to protect yourself and I stress if you via off this standard you are open to abuse.
"I say I gave you 100$. You say i gave you 50$. Maybe I'm mistaken, maybe you are, it can happen. But no problem buddy. Just call the manager, and recount the money in the till. I can't wait."
I've done this like 2 or 3 times now. Most times people take me at my word then (usually it's like a 10 or 20 bill though, I don't carry 100$), but then again, I'm a honest guy. I'll also return excess money (which also happens on occasion).
Once this guy gave me the money I gave him, plus the change. I told him he got the change wrong. He acted arrogantly, and said "No I didn't". I was quick to say "you gave me too much", but I wonder if he gave me too little he'd correct his mistake. Maybe my honesty showed him he can also be wrong. Maybe he'll fuck the next person he gets the change wrong with regardless.
Iโve just realised that in all of my replies I havenโt quite given an idea of the scope of the event, and thus why I felt I couldnโt just ask for a manager to โcount the tillโ.
It wasnโt a tiny little local thing. It was at the biggest exhibition centre in the state, with at least ten thousand people in attendance. It was an all-day charity event collecting money for the childrenโs hospital, with at least a dozen rooms packed full of activities for both adults and children, all of which cost a few dollarsโ donation.
There were about ten people standing behind the windows all dedicated to changing the money from notes into coins, with huge burly security guards standing close by; and I would bet there was no less than $100,000 in various denominations behind those windows. Behind me in the line was another hundred or so people all waiting to go have fun with their kids; and standing next to me were my already-cranky-from-a-long-train-ride 6yo and 3yo.
So no, not really a โget your supervisor and count all of the moneyโ scenario. As soon as I realised she didnโt believe me (or didnโt remember me) I mentally weighed up my options and decided I could let it go. I just wouldnโt take part in any activities myself, just let the kids have fun, and it would pretty much even out in the end.
I don't know how it was organized. But usually they have a till only each individual has access to, and a supervisor they'll turned all the money in the till to.
Otherwise how would they monitor thieving employees?
The size of the event just means it's more likely to be closely monitored and counted.
I understand the public pressure, but if you think she fucked up, it's not your fault, and I'd have stood my ground and asked for a till count (for any kind of bill honestly, be 5 or 50).
Ah well, all done now and Iโm definitely prepared for if it ever happens again! Itโs been almost a year (Good Friday last year, whatever date that was on...) so itโs not something I still agonise over.
Now, the $50 that dropped out of my pocket in 2008, that still hurts. My Nan gave me that money for new clothes ๐ข
Argh, that sucks. At least in my case I could mentally write it off as โah well at least itโs still going to the kidsโ hospital and not into some fat catโs pocketโ - and as Iโve also said, it was money I likely would have donated throughout the day anyway - so it wasnโt too big of a deal.
I also had the luxury of being able to afford it since it was from my tax return. Any other time and I wouldโve been bawling my eyes out trying to find some other way to get my money back (or, more accurately, wouldnโt have had $100 to change in the first place and would only have $20 or less for the day)
The corner store by my house overcharged me a few times. I never said anything, but I know how much a few seltzers should cost. After a few times I stopped going. Great job, you fleeced me out of $30, and by now I've spent thousands at the other corner shop.
Why didn't you ask for them to count the till? Everyone can make mistakes, maybe she was wrong, maybe you were. Calling the manager and counting the till would be the professional thing to do (even if a pain in the ass)
kerbaal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:55:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When this happens, ask them to check if they put a 100 in with the 50s. I have seen this mistake made, and caught, several times because the clerk honestly thought the bill denomination was something else...and so put it where the other domination would go in their tray.
Its not a definite but, like I said, actually seen it several times in my life; its a common mistake.
I wish Iโd thought of that at the time. Her glare of โyouโre really fucking trying to steal money from dying children?!โ scared me too much, perhaps...
wartzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ask for the register to be checked/counted. Yes you will probably need to wait a while but if its 50$.... dude
Iโve just addressed this in another reply and edited it into my original comment. I really wasnโt expecting to get quite so much attention here haha
wartzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wonder if the volunteer cashier wasn't the scammer. If it was as hectic and unaccountable as you suggest, someone could easily make off with a nice amount of change, betting that folks assume "its for a good cause" or "I'm not going to make a scene at this family-friendly fun event for the community."
Thatโs a possibility that Iโve definitely considered, but Iโm choosing to believe it was an honest mistake. If not, Iโll never know about it and can continue believing I gave $50 to help sick kids.
Happened to me and a coworker once. We were both checking out two older gentlemen, each only bought a large soda with like 60 bucks and tried to pull the fast change thing on us. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew not to trust a customer with their change so i kept everything separate and thought we both did fine. Wrong. The other cashier was $40 bucks short at the end of the day. I felt so bad for her
I apologise, he probably paid in 3 $20 bills then wanted specific change as all part of his switcheroo (it was years ago, I can't remember the specifics)
The ones I ran into would disappear a bill like magic; He gives you a $100 for a purchase of $2.19, you hand over a 50, two 20's, a 10, and you count out the rest. Without seeming to move at all, the pile of cash either in his hands or on the counter is now missing the $50. He points out there is no $50. Oh, and while you're doing this he's speed talking about some mundane fact about the thing he's buying. I caught two people this way, the guy had been going around for weeks so I recognized him the minute he walked in.
Yep. I also confirm the tendered amount, like if the total is $4.99 and they pay with a $20 bill, I clearly verbalize "out of 20." Cuts down on a lot of tomfoolery, like them saying "I handed you a $50 bill".
wildmeli ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:52:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did that once on accident. I won a scratch off for $100 and I didn't know how I wanted it. I changed my mind half way through her counting and left with $120. Oops.
ZyxStx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:42:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sounds like something a fast change artist would say. ๐ค
Jesus they should have done this to me when I was still working in a carwash. 9,5 houre shifts and often when it was hot no break. At the end of the day I looked mentally challenged. Somebody gave me 10 bucks in coins and I had trouble counting. If somebody would try this at the end of my shift in a hot summer day there would be no reason why it would not work.
This happened to me once when I worked at a grocery store.
Dude came in and bought like a pack of gum or something, and had a $100 bill in his hand the whole time. Basically showing off the $100 so I would have $100 primed in my mind. When I told him the total, he handed me a $10 he had probably been hiding in his hand the whole time, and I grabbed it and opened the drawer and put it in the underneath part where the big bills go, got his change and closed up.
I go to him the change, some $98, and heโs like, โI change my mind I donโt want thisโ and hands me back the $98 and asks for his $100 back. I open up the register and go to the underneath part and see the $10 sitting there and was like โwtf?โ Pull it out and tell him โyou gave me a $10?โ And he said โno I gave you a $100.โ
So at this point I was completely confused but beginning to realize what the fck just happened, I reluctantly go in there and pull out a $100 and hand it to him. (Like they say, the customer is always right. Pft)
I told my manager I got conned and he said not to worry.
Not your fault, you were badly trained. All the cashiers (and waiters) I've seen put the customer's money to one side, count out the change, hand it to the customer, and only when the customer accepts the change put the customers money in the cash register/purse. This protects against "but I gave you EUR100!". Once you accept the change, reclamations are generally fruitless, most stores I know deny change reclamations as a matter of policy.
Some people think Canadian money looks too colourful and "toy-like" but the sharp colour contrast helps a lot. Also, it's part plastic/fiber composite so it's easier to rub and check if you're holding out multiple bills.
Would it work with Euros? Our 1โฌ and 2โฌ are all coins and all the paper bills are distinctly different color and size - wonder, if this makes such scams more difficult?
I'm not actually trying to start a "business", but just curious if this sort of measures make cash exchanges more reliable.
I'm pretty sure they're different size for blind people. The scam is about convincing them to give you too many of a bill, not tricking you into thinking one bill is another.
I understood that, but figured that at least color differences might raise an alarm quicker for the cashier if he/she starts mostly has grey bills (5โฌ) or coins and the customer holds way too many red or blue bills (10โฌ and 20โฌ). Opposed to the generally whiteish bills with different shades of green coloring of US dollars (at least 1, 2 and 20 bills have all pretty similar colors)..
The scam wasn't explained very well, as there are actual specific steps to make it trick the cashier in a very specific way at a very specific point in the transaction, and it does not rely on just distracting them or pressuring them to get them to make mistakes in general. Here is a video of one way of doing it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg someone did that to my coworker when I worked at little caesars, he came in and was super chatty and nice, then he hands her a twenty and goes "hey could I get two tens and two fives for this?" And she gave it to him without noticing
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The opposite is the cashier giving you your change back and shorting you a five here and there hoping you wouldnt count your change since there is a line
Eliju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also called a flim-flam. Penn and Teller have a cool clip somewhere of them doing it to people in Vegas.
This happened to me one time, accidentally. I was out with my friend, and she was buying some Nintendo card at GameStop. The card cost $10, and she paid with a $20 bill. She asked for a five and five ones as change, the cashier said, "You mean like a ten, a five, and five ones?" And gave us our change. We realized when we got outside that she gave us $20 back. Mistake in our favor says that we weren't going back in to save her from it.
I was trying to find a great video I saw on this...itโs kind of beautiful to watch when done well. Stuff like, โoh wait, make one of those 20s into four fives,โ when they already took a twenty so they are getting extra.
CMLVI ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 05:48:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always got around this by asking what they wanted bill wise, or not handing the money to them until the "transaction" was done and I could recount.
Only had one person in ~5 years accuse me if wrong change, and it was cause her son kept the change from the gas station. Had the money counter out and everything.
I never handed change over to the customer until I had completed counting it. If they requested anything different, it would start the whole process over.
Funny you should mention "pray" because Ryan and Tatum O'Neal starred together in a movie called "Paper Moon" where he plays a con artist who does exactly this to a woman he buys ribbons from. His character's name is Moses Pray. :)
Ah, that is interesting indeed! I've actually seen this movie before, watched it with my grandmother when I was really young but don't remember much besides the fact that I liked it. Looks like I need to watch it again! _^
A friend of mine thought he could be clever and beat the fast change artist. Nope. He lost money from the till over it. Hilarious.
Xholica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Step one is not placing the notes in the till with the rest of them, whenever anyone asked me to break a note or paid with a big note I used to place it either over the coin section of the till or to the side, make sure to hold each note parallel to the counter individually for CCTV purposes. Step two is making a fresh count, so if they change what they want you put back anything you're not giving them and recount anything left over then just add to make up the rest. Step 3 is shut the till leaving their notes over the coin section.
My first legal job in high school had a guy pull this trick on me on my first day! He made a purchase for a small amount, paid with $100 then asked if he could give me a smaller bill instead, while I was counting change. Basically, he wound up getting the $100 plus the change minus like $14 dollars. I didn't get in trouble though, because I called over a manager and even he got tricked. Still, it was a super shitty feeling to happen on my first day. I'm thinking the guy knew I was new too, and that's why he targeted me.
I had a similar moment, a customer showed me her bags and said "Oh don't worry love, I'm not a thief". I too, without thinking said "that's what a thief would say!" She was not pleased. From then on I just stopped trying to joke with customers
Is this why I get suspicious looks when I ask a cashier for certain denomination of bills? I'm not trying to fast change or anything, I just need smaller bills for birthday cards and such.
Yes. We get about one quick change dickbag a month, so it instantly makes us distrustful. Lots of people are genuine like you are though...the scam wouldnโt work otherwise.
It probably wouldn't help if I said, "I promise I'm not a quick change dickbag!" would it? lol
_stice_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's the correct response here?
"It's a policy ma'am... I'll get in trouble for breaking it even if i believe you. I'm not comfortable making an exception, i'm sorry"? Would that work?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:34:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rillip ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:59:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! And then you're in trouble for making the customer feel like a jerk. Better to just go robot mode. "No ma'am I cannot do that. It's against policy." "It's against policy for me to do that. I cannot." Just reiterate over and over as many different ways as possible. Don't try to explain it further. They don't need further explanation. They know how the world works. The fact they persist shows they don't care if you get in trouble.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How will you "get in trouble"?!
Remember, the only time the customer feels like a jerk is if they keep insisting that you break the rules for them and get in trouble.
If they do that, they are not exactly in a position to complain?
rillip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:15 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers are always in a position to complain hombre.
After closing at my bar every so often we get someone who asks if we can still serve them, and they will say "Its just one drink","I won't tell anyone", or something along those lines.
My response has always been "I can't because I can lose my job, and are you going to pay my bills if I do?"
bowlss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the great state of Texas, we have the TABC, Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commision to worry about as bartenders. We arent allowed to serve after 2, and all drinks must be surrendered by 2:15. Not only could i lose my job but, i could go to jail and pay a hefty fine. Not worth it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:59:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"That sounds like something a fast change artist would say."
I mean, it's a fair point!
I've had this argument with friends and relatives who feel like customer service people should have given them the benefit of the doubt in various situations because "I'm clearly not a criminal". That's the whole thing. A lot of criminals are so successful precisely because they are good at pretending to be respectable stand-up citizens.
That's exactly what you should have said. You're not servicing this person anyway so what does their opinion matter? You're not giving them change, they can buy something or get the hell out.
sappy16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'Fast change artist' is such a misnomer. I think we should rename them to 'fast change assholes'.
jfb1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quick change artists are real. I work Grocery Customer Service and there are people that are SO good. Our LP has some incredible surveillance videos from work. People get taken for thousands.
"No fast change artist is obviously a fast change artist, that's the first rule of fast change artistry."
"But if no fast change artist is obviously a fast change artist, then how do I know what it is I'm not supposed to obviously be?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy try this on me during a busy holiday season. Guy comes up to the bar, doesnt order a god damn thing, and wants me to change $100. So i do, and count it out perfectly in front of him. He comes back and tries to claim that my count was short by $10. I tell him to fuck off, then my manager just tells me to pay him the $10 to get him out of there because realistically it was a small price to pay to get this annoying prick out of my face and let me get back to making my money like a big boy does.
Damn. I would get into trouble if my float was off by $10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would normally come out of my tips if my count was off but my general manager was standing by the service bar and saw the whole thing transpire. He was a good guy.
kerbaal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"That sounds like something a fast change artist would say."
So, I witness this once as a customer in line. My friend was doing a show, her "last" show. I was really high, like, I was tripping on some psychedelics high. Just standing in line.
The line is backed up and the guy at the counter is talking to the clerk "I gave you a 20" is where he started. I think the clerk was about as high as I was because, he knew it was a scam, but he was having trouble articulating it as this guy kept going.
Eventually he really did come out with "what a fast change artist would say", and its what really sunk him.... "how about you give me a pack of smokes and we call it even". Back then a pack of smokes was like maybe $5; so he was essentially offering to pay double for a pack of smokes. Which is when the clerk finally told him it was time to go.
Yeah when I worked at a coffee shop this father tried to pull it on me. I kept the math in check within my head. Gave him the correct change. He goes โThis is wrongโ. I said โNo, this is exactly the change you get. You got a $11.64 order and paid with a $50. What youโre holding is $38.36โ. And he just was like โNo, this is wrong. You donโt know mathโ.
โIโm getting a Masterโs in mathematicsโ
He just goes โWell itโs still wrongโ all pissy and walked away with his daughter. What a douche
One of these guys got me when I was working customer service in college. I didn't even know that was a thing (naive 19 year old), so it took me a few minutes to realize how much he shorted me. He just seemed like he was in a hurry, and I didn't even have a chance to process how strange his change request was.
A gut just the other day tried this on me. I've dealt with several of them in the past, they're easy to spot out. I just opened my store and he have me a 10 for a bag of chips. He then told me his friend bailed on meeting him there and wanted a refund. I gave him back his 9.75. He insisted he gave me a 20. I look down, I don't even have a 20 in the till.... I wish I just said no refunds.
Not a fast change artist but I had a customer pay for an item with a $10 and as I handed back her change she told me she handed me a $50 and demanded the right amount back. I assured her it was a $10 but she wasnโt budging. I had already closed the drawer and needed a manager to open my till. Unfortunately for her the lines, were super busy so she was waiting for a good 20 mins.
My manager opened my till and asked me to count it to make sure I wasnโt over (meaning yes she paid with a $50). My till was on point and she was not a happy camper.
This guy was probably legit but it made me laugh...I was doing a security check over the phone as part of my work and the caller couldn't pass. He then repeatedly said 'yeah it's me but' and 'nobody is going to call up and impersonate me'. Not helping your case, bud
In college i worked at a hair salon. It was decently priced for socal, but still way out of my budget. A customer asked me which of the shampoos on the floor I used and i laughed and said "there's no way I could afford this stuff." my boss was.. Not pleased.
Now i work at a hospital delivering food. Told a patient to "enjoy, and have fun today!" Before her surgery.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once greeted a customer, "What can I do for you today?" and he replied, "You could pay my bills for me!" and before I could even think about it I said, "I would, but I work at [store here]."
He looked completely shocked and then he laughed and now he's one of my regulars. Thank god.
Waiting tables and I get this friendly looking couple. I walk up and before I can start with the pleasantries the guy sees me, and in a heavy Australian accent, he says โhi there mate. How are you.โ
I was thrown off by the accent and by being interrupted before making an introduction and for whatever reason, my mind could only focus on the accent, and so, when I went to respond I did it in an Australian accent โ โnot too bad mate. Yourselfโ.
I realized i was doing it as it was leaving my mouth but I couldnโt stop. I was convinced I was gonna get pinched square in the face... turns out my fake Australian accent isnโt bad. The guy is delighted to meet an Australian. Asks if Iโm in America on the Work program.
Now Iโm stuck. If I admit Iโm not Australian Iโm worried heโll be offended even though I didnโt mean to offend him. If not, I have to play this part for the next hour.
Yeah. I committed to the role. Got a 40% tip though so that was kinda nice and worth the stress.
[deleted] ยท 10737 points ยท Posted at 05:32:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I spent 20 years in the bush and the only people that said it were people trying to be funny, parodying some caricature of Australians that really just doesn't exist.
Maybe. I come from a dump, and almost never heard people speak like this. It might be a regional thing. I imagine that if anyone were to talk like this, it'd be folks in a regional NT town maybe. All I know is most of the way in which we are presented to Redditors is just wrong (and embarrassing). We are like discount American-English hybrids when it comes to the way we talk for the most part.
I feel you, live in the city now- definitely donโt hear as much Aussie slang.
I get annoyed when reddit jumps on the โeverything in Australia will kill youโ bullshit. USA has bears and shit, we just gotta avoid a few creepy crawlies.
Yep. Also living in the city now. Aside from a few casual safety precautions (like keeping our bags zipped up so snakes wouldn't crawl in them, and checking under desks for spiders before sitting down in the morning for class), we likely had identical childhoods to children in America. Australian memes and tropes are boring and embarrassing.
My 65 year old father-in-law grew up in Barcaldine and I hear him say it all the time.
Of course, his accent is so heavy that it took me a few months of living in Australia before I could properly understand him. Even now, 'properly' just means that he only has to repeat himself on occasion.
The TV-Australians (I.e. a TV character whose defining trait is the fact that they are Australian) usually talk like some of the less educated Australians might have talked about 40-60 years ago. Nowadays we are basically just American-English hybrids with a different accent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:38:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a local pub in mount isa and never heard it once haha
Lived in Australia for two years and initially was a little disappointed by the lack of stereotypical lingo being used, although part of me wasn't surprised. Then I went out to do my regional farm work and got to hear it all. The folks outside the cities seem to be still partially stuck in the 80's (which seems to be true in most countries I've been too).
Where I'm from (Newfoundland, literally the other side of the world from you) we tend to sort of slur some of our words so that multiple words sound like one, so we have something similar without the "th" at the end. It's True becomes Strew but we never spell it out that way
One time when I was on a night out I met an Australian guy and drunkenly decided I could trick him with my fake accent and it would be hilarious, and it worked! Then I found out the next week that he had also been faking his accent and thought he'd tricked a real Australian.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All these stories sound very fake or at least romanticized and exaggerated.
Spidey16 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:39:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah don't feel bad about it anyway. It's always entertaining to see foreigners struggle with our accent. I have never once felt offended by people giving it a go.
Honestly if you just said you did the accent because you were caught off guard by the accent they probably wouldve thought it was funny and invited you over for drinks since that's just how australians do
The 40% tip seals it. We don't have much of a tipping culture in Australia, that was a "thanks for entertaining me with an hour of a bad accent while you tried not to be awkward"
Yeah Australians can smell a bs Aussie accent a mile away, Iโve honestly never heard a Yank nail one before
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Case in point: the dude who voiced all the clone troopers in the animated Clone Wars series.
His. Australian. Accent. Made. Me. Cry.
I try to explain this a couple of times on r/StarWars and the overwhelming majority of people (Americans) there shot me down like a fucking mig.
โDee Bradley Baker is actually an amazing voice actor, heโs done this, heโs done that, get over yourselfโ
โ....... um...... well holy fuck Iโm so very incredibly sorry guys..... HEโS FUCKING SHIT AT THIS ACCENT. Iโm SURE you couldโve found a fucking Kiwi in particular to imitate Temuera Morrison (Jango Fett) SOMEWHERE in America. But no, youโre all so fucking DEAF to the Aussie and Kiwi accents THAT YOU CANT HEAR HOW HORRIFICALLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE AT THEMโ
Or an American with a good accent who was trying to trick you, thought you were actually Australian, and then HE had to keep up the act.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:33:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah trust me he was fuckin with you and lovin it. Thereโs a pretty good indicator in the idea that he thought you were Australian too.
Iโm not havin a go at you, but no American can do an Australian accent (an infinitesimal sample of exceptions obviously). Not only are Americans monolithically incapable of doing Aussie accents, itโs like neutron-star-blindingly obvious when someone trying to do an Aussie accent is American; thereโs an earpiecing retardedness that is just unmistakable.
So if youโre not literally a phonetics fanatic and practice that shit every day, AND if you didnโt even mean to put it on, it just slipped out, yeah... 99.99% chance he knew exactly what was goin on.
Donโt feel bad at all though, itโs completely natural for humans to want to imitate the sounds each other make; weโre social apes thatโve evolved with reeeallly complex vocal tracts. Sometimes you just canโt fight like 60 million years of evolution ;)
I worked at Outback Steakhouse in the US and an Australian family came in, the whole time they were quizzing me about Australia and I'm just like, "Dude, I just work here. I don't know anything about Australia." They were obviously just fucking with me so it didn't really bother me. They thought the whole Australian theme in the restaurant was amusing.
People pay attention to the vowels, but there are a lot of little differences they're never going to get right if they're just casually faking. Things like yod-dropping where you guys pronounce 'dune' the same as 'June', or 'tune' like 'chune'. It's hard to convincingly fake that many sound changes without a great deal of practice.
poo-poo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plus when I'm "having a go" at an aussie accent I slip into british and kiwi accent without meaning to and they all get mixed up together.
challam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I watch a LOT of streaming British TV, which includes Aussie TV. What the hell you people do with your vowels is beyond my comprehension. No offense....just amazement. Have a great day.
myne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:10:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Murican mate says GeDay MaYte
So funny.
7 years it hasn't improved. You'd think the Texan drawl would help him out but nope!
No one but us can do our accents. Some exceptions, sure. But most of the time it's a horrible caricature. It's so off putting.
Hollywood is the worst for taking all our actors and making them American, and then casting the Australian roles with Americans. We can do the American accent because we're saturated with American media. You can't do ours. Please stop.
Dennis from IASIP is about the best Iโve heard. Although I do enjoy Trey Parkerโs rendition of Russell Crowe, but only because itโs so obviously taking the piss.
Lol what. This isn't gatekeeping. I don't care if an indigenous Candian plays an Australian. I'm just tired of the horrible accents. Imagine if you were from Boston and every Boston character in media had a shitty poorly exaggerated accent.
From what I have heard most of them are over exxagerated on TV.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You'll be downvoted since maybe this guy is right, but in my experience australian, irish, and scottish people will basically never admit that anyone can do their accent properly. I once argued with a scotsman on how "bad" the main actresses accent was in Brave, and she is actually scottish
jay1237 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How is saying all of Hollywood is terrible at something gatekeeping?
I have to agree with you. My childhood friends who were born in Australia and moved as toddlers to the US obviously developed the American accent. They moved back in their early teens and after 20 years they are still getting called out for being American. When I talk them I can only hear the Australian accent.
I am sure this customer knew the waiter was faking it. Aussies have the best sense of humors.
Americans trying to put on an Australian accents always speak too slowly and clearly. If you want to sound Aussie, donโt enunciate so much, try and keep your tongue and jaw pretty stiff, and pronounce most words as if you were reading them without the last letter in them
Belong. Runs on the Telstra 4g network (actually a Telstra subsidiary). I wouldn't get service in Roadhouses with only Telstra, but got it from about 400km from Adelaide and all the way from Adelaide to Melbourne so I'm happy so far with it.
You saw "Mad Max: Fury Road" in cinemas? That's what a society without a decent internet connection looks like. When I was a kid there was gang warfare over bee hives and mango trees, a common tactic was to throw a spear into the spokes of your enemy's front bicycle tire sending them hurtling over the handlebars.
This has been happening with my young cat recently. She gets all excited and thinks it's play time when I try to scold her for doing shit she shouldn't do.
I jump up and move toward her "get off the fucking stove!" She's like "yay it's play time, woooo!"
Use one word commands like you would with a dog. "Stop!" "Down!" while making eye contact, also hissing sound, like "TSST" to get the cat's attention.
Also take care with your tone, if it's something that's just a little annoying use a lighter tone, with a more drawn out sound. but when they are doing something they are absolutely not supposed to be doing, then say it in a loud, deep voice, quickly and repeatedly until they listen, also helps to take a step towards them between each time.
This way they know when you just want them to stop what they're doing at the moment and when they're doing something you don't want them to do at all. I've always done this and my cat knows not to attack wires or beg for food off our plates.
Problem is you might get a cat who will listen to you, but you might have a cat who simply chooses not to.
Me too. Kitten problems. His relentless commitment to sitting on the bench is teaching our 8 year old cat that the kitchen bench is now fine to jump on.
Not a literal script most of the time, more just a standard set of lines you say day in day out, so if it's interrupted is pretty jarring.
Ex: "Hey guys! Welcome to Red Lobster. How many today? - what kind of phone are you guys interested in today? - we have x on sale today over in y section"
That being said if you need help, go get it, unless it's a restaurant. For retail 95% of customers are "just looking" and sometimes the workers get complacent about the fact that the other 5% do exist.
The_Koi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:59:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! I always used to say, โthank you for calling Dominoโs <city> how can I help you?โ Then โSure, may I have your phone number please?โ Itโs not a company given script or anything, itโs usually a thing made with company guidelines that makes it easier to keep a polite facade up.
When working at a help desk, I once answered a call in an Irish accent. Not a good one either. The call turned out to be kinda important and complicated, and I eventually had to 'transfer' the caller to 'another agent'. Which turned out to be me but with a deeper voice and slight twang. She didn't notice, but my boss did. I was laugh-reprimanded for not treating customers with respect, but "darn it, you make a good leprechaun."
Once a mate introduced me to some friends of his. I was drunk and put on a Scottish accent to fuck around and they were none the wiser. I kept it up for 3 full hours. I only blew my cover when one of them asked me where in Scotland I was from and I said โhaggisโ. They looked at me funny then the rest of the people in the room who knew me pissed themselves laughing.
I can tell you that you absolutely don't have a convincing Australian accent. No one does, not even some Australians. It's far too fucked up for anyone to learn it.
At best, he thought you've been in America a while and picked up the American accent to a point where you didn't really have either. It does happen.
Non-Australian here. If an Australian says "Gday mate" and you respond with "Gday, mate" they become really happy. Especially if you are outside of AUS. Source: Gdayed a lot of Australians.
Is tip 40% too if I got someone to use a fake accent for the entire duration of my dinner
hkedik ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This brain fart is called a pattern interruption and is very well studied. We engage in automatic processes all the time that we switch off from thinking about such as shaking someone's hand or giving a high five. We're so used to them that if anything happens differently it can throw our brain off balance and it will scramble to cling on to something.
In your case that initial greeting as a waiter is so automatic that you're mostly on autopilot. So when he breaks that chain of sequences by greeting you, your mind latches on to the first thing it can think of, the accent.
This is actually a mild form of hypnosis as in that split second some people become very suggestible. A hypnotist after bringing someone on stage (by already filtering out who is more suggestible) might do a pattern interrupt in the form of a handshake but then immediately bring their hand up to the volunteers face. At this point the volunteer still has their hand reaching out for a handshake, so the brain is looking for anything to anchor on to. Now the hypnotist will say sleep and persons mind will grab on to that command and seemingly fall asleep.
I've heard of this technique being used in street crimes in Eastern Europe as well - Derren Brown (a British magician/hypnotist) has some stuff on YouTube on the hypnosis and street cons side.
Australian here, we know when people are faking our accents, just like an American would know a fake American accent. He was, with the littlest of doubt possible, fucking with you. He wanted to see if you could commit to it for the entire time.
Bravo for doing it, committing that is. He was probably impressed because otherwise he would have called you a Aussie slur, example; drongo, wally, gallah, cunt, dingbat and the most fearful of all if you are friends... mate. Cause in Australia, if your friend calls you mate, he is actually calling you Cunt, but vice versa, if he calls you cunt, than he is calling you mate.
I worked in retail for a long while and I would sometime's randomly slip into a fake accent and back to my regular voice in the space of a few minutes. Not even on purpose, but it sure was funny to watch people do a double-take.
No no. 40% is clearly excessive and generous. But there are a great many travelers that donโt research American tipping to know you should always tip 15-18% as waiters arenโt paid as much.
I always look up the tipping policy in countries before I go to make sure Iโm being fair.
Honestly I don't agree with tipping either but doing math before you pay isn't hard hahah. I'm assuming you probably have your phone on you at most times, which you can use, and sometimes there are suggested percentages at the bottom of receipts with the total tip you can choose to put already calculated :)
For some unknown reason when I was like in middle school, my older brother (high school) wanted me to prank his friend. He told his friend that he had an Australian cousin, and I guess I also did a pretty good Australian accent because we would talk on the phone for a while. He was totally convinced. I canโt remember the outcome though. I have an uncanny ability to pick up and do accents. Iโm originally from the Deep South, but put me around literally anybody with a different accent, and Iโll pick it up without even realizing it. Itโs odd.
I went to California for a work trip and first or second night I booked a hotel in Compton I believe, just right next to the freeway. Best western from memory.
Anyway I get hungry at 9ish or so on and decide to go check out the restaurant across the street.
Figured I would walk it coz it's literally opposite the hotel.
It was Roscoe's chicken and waffles and to me it sounds like not the best pairing of meals but Yolo I'll get chicken and then have waffles for dessert.
Now I get into the restaurant and everyone is staring at me.
Really wasn't sure what was happening, but I was the only white person. So I figured I'd do my best Steve Irwin Aussie accent just to make it super obvious I'm Australian and looking for food.
This is comforting. I was overseas and there was an Australian soldier that I held door open for and he said something along the lines of โ thanks mateโ without thinking I replied in his accent โ cheers mateโ. If looks could kill.
I did this to a happy go lucky Asian waiter with a heavy accent. He said hello so enthusiastically I replied with an equally enthusiastic hello friend. I knew my fucked up when I saw the people I was with faces. I wanted to commit sudoku but all I had was chop sticks and didn't want to let anyone correct me and say its seppuku. I just over tipped instead.
Oh no I had that happen with an Irish musician once. I had literally just come back from a LARP where I play an Irish street urchin, and we headed to the Dubh for a pint, and there was a guy playing there. Walked up, told him I loved his music, and he goes, oh thank you what parts are you from, and in that moment, I realized I was still talking as my character, and was just like โuhhhhhh Boston...โ and bought one of his CDโs and ran
Rohaq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did a phone tech support job once, and towards the end of one of my last shifts before leaving, I was putting on accents on the phone for shits and giggles. I'm pretty good at imitating accents, people in the office thought it was funny, and as long as I was still doing my job, they didn't mind.
The problem was I was still using my name. A customer who called earlier rang back, and at this point I'd switched to another accent, and he remembered who he'd spoken to.
"I think I spoke to another /u/Rohaq about this earlier, but he was Welsh - you're Irish, aren't you?"
"Ahh, yes sir, yes I am."
...I should point out that I am neither Welsh, nor Irish.
So I had to spend the entire call pretending that I was in fact another person of the same name, that I knew nothing of his previous call, that I'd have to read his account notes to catch up on his issue, etc.
I got away with it too, but I must admit I was a little worried that he'd catch on at some point during our 20 minute call. God knows what he'd have thought if he'd called back again, only to be met with a third person from another country with exactly the same name.
Convinced a one night stand a buddy and I were Irish immigrants in the US army working on our naturalization like this. We'd been watching Boondocks Saints during pregame.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That happened one time at Starbucks. Our drive through person was being silly and using random accents. When she used Australian it was an Australian couple driving across the US for their one month long happy retirement vacation. They were super cool about it!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What you did isn't uncommon, or even rude if understood. It's our brain's weird way of trying to make an emotional connection with the other person.
Dyemond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, when I did 6 months of consulting my wife made fun of me when I got back because I had picked up and Australian accent while I was over there. Took about 2 weeks to get rid of it completely.
And I still use terms like mate and no worries that I never used before the trip.
Last night at work I had a table with a British woman, so naturally I went back to the kitchen and spoke with a British accent while I turned in her ticket. The dishwasher, overhearing this, dares me to speak like that at her table the rest of the time she was there. Being bored and kind of an asshole I did it. She never mentioned it, but the bartender overheard and started doing a horrible cockney accent, not realizing that an actual British lady was there and I wasnโt just being my usual weird self.
The things servers do to entertain themselves.
Agu001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that is a great story man. Thanks for sharing it. I feel like he was definitely messing with you, but I want to suggest another possibility.
Maybe he wasn't actually Australian either. Maybe he just wanted to mess with his server. But then when you replied in the Australian accent, he felt like he had to commit or risk offending you. So you guys both faked accents and then both felt you had to keep up the ruse to avoid offending each other. It would explain why he didn't recognize that your accent was fake, and it would explain the vague question about the "work program."
This English woman came into the gas station and spoke to me while I was ringing her up. Without even thinking i said โwould you like cash back?โ in an English accent.
Mine is not as good as yours. The look I received made me so embarrassed. Iโm so glad I didnโt have to wait her table like you and that she just left and I never had to see her again.
Maybe he was faking too and gave you the tip for playing along.
Kh2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better, for whatever reason my customer service voice sounds slightly southern and it usually comes out when I'm speaking with customers from the south. (it's like a North Carolina accent. Then they ask me where I'm from and it's always awkward to say New England.
I have for sure done this before, but reversed roles. Waitress, very attractive, had a British accent and I was so dazed that I unconsciously replied in an accent. I committed to the role while trying to keep my responses to a minimum.
I do this subconsciously and it's always awkward. I'm not the best at conversations with people I've just met so I think my brain just goes "copy what they do and nothing can go wrong" except for the part where I accidentally copy accents or words that aren't in my dialect too...thanks brain
Sounds like something that happened to me and a friend several years ago. We went out to a restaurant one morning and our waitress was an Irish immigrant. My buddy kept giving me funny looks as we were ordering and when our waitress left to put our orders in he looked at me and said "Dude, do you even know wha you were doing?" I didn't and said so and he told me I had had a perfect Irish accent the entire time I was conversing with the waitress. Turns out I tend to pick up accents very quickly when speaking to someone with that accent and as long as I don't intentionally attempt to use an accent I come off as a native. Used to have tourists ask me for directions when I was out on liberty in foreign ports.
In one of the DnD campaigns Iโve played, our GM was Australian (we played online using Roll20).
I was asking him to do... Something, and he said no, and then I said โplease mateโ in some weird hybrid-Australian accent. I didnโt even mean to say it, especially not in an accentโ I just blurted it out.
I was housesitting for my uncle in a more posh area of Melbourne and popped down to the shops to get something to make for dinner. When I was waiting line there was a lady with just an armful of groceries standing in front of me. She really should have had a basket but because she didn't something fell, and I just picked it up for her. She thanked me and started chatting but she straight up talked like this. It took all of my willpower not to crack up.
Unexpected accents can really catch you off guard.
I did the same in Bristol with a Bristolian accent, my mate with me can only turn and stare as I fumble a Bristolian accent throughout the entire conversation with a Bristolian.
limache ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is saying he knew. I'm willing to bet HE was faking it, and was thinking "Oh shit! I might get called out, I met a real Aussie!"
_hayhay ยท 1516 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman got mad at me after i didnโt tell her that one of the items i rang up was full price.
I told her โwell i canโt read you mind, can i?โ
She was sooooo mad, livid. But dont act like i know your budget or how much you want to spend. The screen is right there so show you how much all the prices are. And Iโll gladly take something off if you donโt want it.
Just quit my job in retail after 5+ years yesterday, so cheers to that.
Congrats on getting out of retail! It is a cold and dark place.
miabelo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:35:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on that! I quit retail 2 years ago. On my last day in the shop I was sooooo done with dealing with stupid people and couldn't bring myself to humour anyone anymore. Ended up serving this absolute wagon of a woman who told me to shush when I asked her if she needed a bag because she was on the phone to her daughter at the time. Before she left she told me I had a bad attitude and shouldn't be working in retail. I replied 'Yes, I know.' My manager thought it was funny, thankfully.
This comment really phucked me up. The comments below this looked strange and messed up my whole vocabulary... did a double take on congrats and quitting because I swore they were not real words.
_hayhay ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:34:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Iโm graduating from one of the top fashion schools in the USA this May (no shame in bragging about it) and Iโm currently working for a fashion consulting firm. So Iโm not completely out of the fashion industry, just out of the super shitty part lol
I did something similar recently, except I'm a server. A table asked if I could do an order of nachos with half chili/half chicken, and I said "well, we can do a half order of chili nachos, and a half order of chicken nachos if you like?" They agreed and then ordered their entrees too. They happily eat their food, and then ask for the check. When they see they were charged for two half orders of nachos instead of one full order (which ends up being $4 more than the full order alone) one guys becomes irate and demands to know why I didn't tell him how much it cost. My immediate response was, "I didn't tell you how much anything cost."
He wanted to speak to my manager.
_hayhay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:46 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that is so annoying! Like, people don't realize it's never that serious.
"I shouldn't have done that" actually. I was rinsing beer glasses behind the bar with one of those giant, high pressure sprayers that kind of look like a small shower. A guy was mad that we wouldn't return his girlfriend's obviously fake ID. He looked like he was about to come across the bar. Without thinking, I turned, still holding the sprayer and hit him full on in the face. He left. I didn't get fired.
Tended in the past. One owners view was if they come across the bar at you you're allowed to kick the shit out of them with no problems, just try not to kill them.
[deleted] ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 08:03:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian airport security does "random" security checks. From my observations, middle-aged white women with large handbags are one of their target groups.
Lmao it's such a white woman thing to do. She literally stamps her feet as if she's upset they aren't listening to her screaming.
Bitch what do you think that is going to accomplish??
aard_fi ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 11:29:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just searched a bit about that, this lady seriously sued the store owner for damages due to creating an unsafe customer environment, and initially got a ridiculous amount awarded, which was appealed and overturned end of 2016. Didn't find any updates after that.
That's the kind of lawsuit that makes the rest of the world shake their heads about the US. Once they went over the counter attacking the whole thing was self defence, so it just becomes an "excessive force" argument. Prosecution from criminal law side answered that with "not excessive", so I can't comprehend how you can get that kind of civil law judgement afterwards.
Oh man, that was SO satisfying to watch. I love seeing idiots pick a fight with someone only to get their asses kicked when the other person turns out to be much more aggressive in a physical confrontation.
Because people will twist it and basically say "so they let a violent jackass stay at his job??? Awful place!"
tzenrick ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 11:03:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I'm concerned, once someone crosses from "customer space" to "employee space," it's either attempted robbery or they need a T-shirt and a W-4.
Oh man I love that rule so much. I run a bartending catering company and the amount of people that think it's okay to just walk behind my bar is baffling. It's usually for just no reason too. I think a lot of DJs can sympathize. It's just a bizarre thing to do. When I worked restaurants people would just walk through our kitchen and be bewildered when we'd say it was against restaurant/city health policy to just let people off the street take a stroll around the food
Well, from the police officers perspective, it's should be a pretty quick procedure and they get to really bust the person's balls if the ID is a fake and the suspected person called the cops. Either its a mistake on the bartenders part, or hilarious for the officer and would likely get resolved by the end of the night.
Most places give you two options: let the bar keep it, or call the cops and they'll inspect it.
The idea being that in the event that the bar messed up, the cops will get you your ID back. But I've never even heard of that happening.
theducks ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 07:51:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
SIL had her real ID taken once and had to call the Police to get it back (in fairness.. she did look about 16, despite being 25 at the time)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:44 on April 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How long did it take for a cop to show up? I would be so annoyed
ladut ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:50:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a liquor store in Indiana. What I was told was that we can't technically "take" anyone's ID, but if they left it there for us, that was OK. So we were encouraged to say stuff like that, but if they just walked off with it, there was nothing we could legally do.
We got like a $50 bonus every time we got one though (I think the store got $100 for every one they turned in, and they just split it with the employee), so that was nice.
Thank you - I was just commenting to someone else that you should press charges if some retail clerk tried to steal your ID and only give it back at the direction of a law enforcement officer. Theft is theft, even if a cop makes the thief give back the stolen property, and even if the thief was operating under the mistaken assumption that private possession of the property at issue was illegal and was intending to turn said property over to the police.
My mother updated my license two weeks before I turned 21 because I was at college and the letter was sent to my home address. So for the last 3 years (I'm 24 with a full beard) I present my 17 year old face to bouncers and bartenders. Anyone who gives me a hard time I tell them to call the police
Iโm 29 and my ID picture is the same one I took for my very first license at 16. Multiple address changes and renewals and theyโve never asked me to retake the picture so I just keep using it.
Fuck that - you should be allowed to press charges against a bar that takes your legal ID and refuses to give it back "until a cop verifies it's real." And no, I'm not saying sue them (you have no damages since you got your property back - unless you wanted to make some stupid "emotional damages" claim), I'm saying press criminal charges for theft, harrassment, etc.
Imagine if a store clerk who suspected a customer's purse was counterfeit was allowed to confiscate that customer's purse and refuse to return it unless the customer called the police and had them come down to the store and inspect the purse to verify it was real? This is basically the same thing. Retail and restaurant employees are not law enforcement officers, do not have police powers, and have no legal immunity allowing them to confiscate private property they suspect is contraband without incurring criminal penalties.
That analogy is not a very good one. If you have a strong suspicion that an ID is fake and that someone is using it to break the law (ie. drinking underage) in your establishment..then you should have the right to confiscate it. Especially since underage drinking puts an entire business in jeopardy.
Now you should probably have a good reason that the ID looks fake other than "oh she just looks too young."
If you have a strong suspicion that an ID is fake and that someone is using it to break the law (ie. drinking underage) in your establishment..then you should have the right to confiscate it.
No. Private citizens do not have the legal authority to confiscate someone else's private property based solely on a suspicion that the property is illegal. As others have pointed out, you would have the right to refuse service to someone who was using what you suspected to be a fake ID, but you would not have the right to take their property and refuse to give it back. Why? Well, if your suspicions are correct, you're fine because the ID is illegal. But if you're wrong (and there is no way to guarantee you aren't wrong), you've literally just stolen someone's private property, and mistakenly believing their ID to have been fake does not absolve you of the theft.
I mean that's true, but generally speaking it'd be a huge pain in everyone's ass if someone confiscated a real ID from the owner.
Often, when places suspect the id is fake, they ask you to repeat info off it. If you get it right and they still doubt you, they ask for other forms of identification (school id or smth). If you don't, then they break out the book. The book supposedly gives pretty foolproof ways of checking ids from any state.
That's the SOP most places I've been to follow, ymmv, but I guarantee you they almost never confiscate real ids.
Graffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being in possession of a fake ID isn't illegal though. Using it to break other laws is. You can refuse service because that's not illegal even if it's a real ID but in the event it is real and they decide they want to leave you're illegally holding their property.
Obviously if it is fake ID very few people will actually wait for the cops to get there since their broken law is a little worse than the bars.
Hm. Well, yeah, you can claim that... but A) in what situation would a bartender ever see that ID? and B) good luck convincing anyone of that if it doesn't say "fake" or something like that on it.
There's a reason most fake money has something to the effect of "not to be used as currency" written on it.
Graffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're showing it to a bartender then you're breaking the law. But if you just have it in your wallet and get arrested you can just say it was used in a movie you did or you just wanted a funny name.
Most fake IDs aren't really passable under any kind of scrutiny. It's like having a novelty license plate it looks similar enough to a real one but if you really check it would be obviously fake. Possessing it is legal, using it on your vehicle would not be.
Again, yes, the argument can be made, but it's not bulletproof. It may not be illegal, but it sure as hell isn't 100% legal. This is something like a legal grey area; you could still be found to be breaking the law, with just possession.
It's up to police officers to decide to press charges. So it really depends on how 'convincing' the ID is. If it scans, or has watermarks, or any other imitated 'security' features, the 'novelty' argument will literally get you no where. If you carry your novelty ID on you, it's very nearly illegal. The reason being that if isn't noticeably fake without careful examination from a trained eye, then the case can be made that you are committing fraud just by having it on your person.
If it says 'fake,' or some variation, then you have a chance, but honestly, I wouldn't try it.
I lived in a midwest college town for a couple years before I turned 21. There isn't a whole lot to do in the area except go out to house parties or go to the bars on weekends with your friends, a lot of people I knew had fake IDs. I always considered getting one just to be in with the crowd but I was waaay too broke lol (I barely drink now so wtf was I thinking.)
Looking back it is pretty weird that bars would confiscate the IDs they thought were fake, but I can attest there were a fuck load of 18-20 year old college kids trying to outsmart the bouncers every night... Sort of justifiable I guess?
Leegala ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:13:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My college roommate was a bouncer. One of the other bouncers confiscated a Military ID. That didn't turn out well when the Military Police turned up later to get it back. I don't know the full story but I know they were told to never hold a military ID again.
Ooohh shit I'm sure that guy got torn a new one. You're not even allowed to take a picture or make a photocopy of a military ID, there's really strict rules about them
Where I live, the bar will just refuse them and then call ahead to the other bars in the area to let them know about the person.
Graffy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the "by the book" way to do it. You reserve the right to refuse service and you don't steal anyone's property. It's like someone parking their car in a red zone. It's there illegally but you can't just drive off with it.
Brudaks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:04:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that in USA there's a bunch of fake ID'ing due to alcohol age laws, but isn't that crazy illegal?
I mean, where I'm from, attempting to use a forged ID is a quite serious criminal charge, more than common theft (IIRC it was up to three or five years jail), and it's quite rare; and any such disputes would get reported to the police.
No, not really serious at all. When I was in college literally everyone had one. Bars turned a blind eye. I almost think schools encourage it because it keeps kids from having sketchy/unsafe house parties and pissing off locals with loud music.
krabbby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So for the ID itself it will depend on the state, but you'll usually just get a heavy fine. Especially if you're just using it to buy alcohol, no ones going to go after you hard for that.
It's when you use it for things like identity theft or something important that you'll run into trouble
How would you be caught? You aren't gonna give the fake ID to the cops. If some bouncer took it and called the cops, you just walk away before the cops get there and they have no way of finding you because it was a fake ID.
Brudaks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Any ID tends to be verified at the point of purchase, so the name would have to match the name the (real) card you'd be paying with, and it also has your face on it. But as I said, fake IDs just for age verification purpose is not really a thing here, it's tricky enough to fake them (only one form of ID, unlike USA, and about as easy to make convincing fakes as making fake cash) so they are quite rare and tend to appear in more serious cases - e.g. human trafficking, fake identities for organized crime, etc; not by random students.
Vaelin_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I would have paid with cash if I had a fake ID. Less likely to be caught and all that jazz.
Okay, high pressure sprayers can do some serious damage. Nothing wrong with the 'target', in this case, but please, always know where you're pointing that thing.
To be honest, a few hours after posting I realized that I probably aimed for his chest. And it was 20 years ago so possibly pressure sprayer technology wasn't what it is today.
Did this today but after I hung up! A patient's mother called and said he'd been seen at our clinic for a gunshot wound to the head (the patient was okay, he was a 19 year old moron who shot himself by playing around with a pellet gun). I work at an urgent care. He had never been through our clinic, much less been seen for a GSW. I had to look up the number of his trauma doc (which the mother could've done at home as she knew his name) and relay that info to her. Got off the phone and said "she's not terribly bright" to my coworker and immediately had to check to make sure I'd hung up.
I once worked with a guy that would mute and then rant and scream about customers. MY customers could overhear him. I made a point to sit as far away as possible.
My recorded calls were used for training purposes when I worked at a call center. Once a month I had a sit down with my manager where she'd pull up a few calls either at random or that had been flagged and we'd listen together and go over how I could improve or what I was doing well. It was actually pretty helpful to hear myself talk to customers.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked a call center job for 2 months before I wanted to blow my brains out. We wern't even aloud to bring a book in, or talk to our co-workers. If you didn't have a call you had to study your scripts. I had to sneak things in to fidget with so I had SOMETHING to do besides look around the office and imaging ways to off myself with what was available.
They tried to script out opening line (it was more of a suggestion/best practice) and I hoped out of that. I'd been saying the same opening like for years on thousands of calls. It's not going to change for me.
Ours isn't bad, we don't have to say it word for word as long as we get something like "thank you for calling workplace this is megandapanda speaking, may I have your EFIN? Thank you, and who I am I speaking with?"
I did this once... I had to pretend to put the customer on hold as part of a sales tactic. I was supposed to be asking my manager for additional bonuses to the customer (I was already cleared for them) but took the time instead to discuss sales strategies based on what she's said.
I put my headphones back on and she's straight away like "You know I wasn't on hold and heard everything, right?" My face was apparently hilarious as my manager knew something was up despite not hearing her. Thankfully it was one of our few non-edgy conversations though, as she had one more condition before signing up.
Try a government call center. To keep people from wasting my I'm regularly short with people who deserve it.
People asking the same question waiting for an answer they're happy with, people who come on aggressive with demands on a well regulated government program, people who treat me like shit because I work for an organization they aren't happy with... I'll verbally slap these people in the face so hard. I (as I'm sure you do too) have targets to meet like AHT, calls/hour etc. so these people who waste my time are only taking time away from the people who truly need it. Because of this and the fact that morally I cannot cut the call short for people who actually need my help I often don't meet my goals and could lose my job.
This is a stressful job with targets that are too difficult to reach while actually doing your job though easier to reach if you purposefully mistransfer, take shortcuts that leave callers confused and are only willing to explain something once.
I think it's different with government call centers. The customer can't exactly choose another service provider for things run by the government so there's no reason to just take their bullshit in fear they might switch to your competitor. Throw out all the verbal bitch slaps you want as long as you're correct in what you say and nobody cares haha.
I had a little different experience, my manager was happy that I wasnโt a push over and said multiple times he was happy I was able to stand my ground and didnโt just collapse when someone got angry on the phone
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:47:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our center was more focused on quality and upselling then actually helping the customer, if you didnโt curse or say anything terrible on the phone you were pretty much fine
This isn't always true. I had a call centre job for a large corporation, and they were pretty lax on standards. I was able to be borderline-rude quite often. I mean, I probably would have gotten in trouble for what you said, but in general, I was allowed to be a bit of a dick. Hell, my manager even taught me to be more of a dick.
If you're internal then in many cases, as long as it isn't a big wig, you can get away with a lot. At my old university, we were basically told if the Art department calls and they aren't in the middle of a class, feel free to hang up on them without warning if they start being rude. For some reason, art people were super impatient and ugly to people not in the art department. Same with the tenured English instructors.
Ya not all call centers. Most i have worked at you are obviously there to help the customer but we don't really have to take too much shit from the customer. If we said that most of my supervisors wild have been grand with it because you would have gotten your point across and it probably would have gone no where anyway.
If one of clients calling in (all tax preparers and right now it's super close to deadline day, so you can imagine how hectic it is) is cussing and totally unruly, or if you spend over an hour on the phone with them and they're not listening to so you the call is going nowhere, we just tell our supervisor and she listens in and will either take over the call or will hang up on them. It's hilarious when she hangs up.
Worked at a call center. When I got fired I was told "one decision could have gotten you written up, and the other gets you fired. You chose fired." I won my unemployment case.
I was fired because I got a low scoring survey. A guy didn't like that he was getting charged for something he wanted with his service. I could A) Lie and keep him happy, but if I got a quality assurance check on that call, I'd be written up or B) tell the truth and cross my fingers they forgot there's a survey and don't mash that # key to give me all 0's out of frustration. I chose B, and got fired. It was the second low survey I received that day. The first being someone who gave me all 0's because I couldn't waive the service charge for processing a payment, and he refused to use the automated system.
warman17 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How would you feel if you were calling some place to complain about something you felt was important and was told this exact thing?
10/10 have said this. But in my defense she had been screaming at me for 22 minutes because my tech wouldn't install cable at her house because it was cluttered and full of cat poo. He already did the phone and internet.
She dropped the infamous "I don't get paid for this, you do!"
So I said "yes, but you've been repeating yourself and screaming at my for the last half hour for an issue I can't help you with."
She asked for my supervisor (I am the supervisor) so I passed her off to a colleague who told her the same thing. He was a guy so, I guess she took the news better from him even though you could HEAR the scowl in his voice.
This reminds me of when my supervisor weathered twenty minutes of solid complaining before throwing his arms up in the air and saying "you know what, I just don't care" and walking off.
Was a mistake a previous shift had made, he was a very theatrical person to work under and got a complaint. Funnily enough the supervisor who blankly told a customer to fuck off didn't. Tells you what customers really get upset by.
"if you wanna make some dumb protest against me that's fine
I'm still getting paid while you're wasting your time"
What will you do? Say you won't come here again?
Don't threaten me with a positive, I'd be happier then
You think we're gonna notice if we don't have your business?
Witness, dipshit, as I outright dismiss this
I got more customers to help, waiting right behind you
Watching you get humiliated, do I need to remind you
That as long as I do my job my company's payin'
If you'll excuse me, I believe you saw the exit on your way in.
Jahaadu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a older male customer get pissy that the store I worked for changed their bathroom policy allowing transgendered people to use their respected genders bathroom. I said something along the same thing as you. Written up as well.
I had a customer who would make outlandish return requests constantly, and then bitch about how she NEVER had this problem at Walgreens, THEY always made it work for her and at one point I just looked at her and went โthen why donโt you go there instead?โ Luckily I was overnight shift, so my managers didnโt really care.
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:47 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your username is fucking with me I appreciate that thank you
โKeep wastinโ your time thatโs fine, but could I still get paid at the same time? And it's my name thatโs on this tag. So remove your bags, lemme call you a cab.โ
I was on a call with a customer who was complaining and absolutely irate. I had only been on the job for a few weeks and was becoming flustered. There was literally nothing I could do to calm this person down or get him to accept my answers. I was finally about to get him off the line when he made a sarcastic comment to the extent of "wow thanks, you've been such a great help." In my rush to say "no problem" or "you're welcome" I ended up saying "your problem" and hanging up. He called several times after that and I just ignored the calls because I was so exhausted.
Customer raises hand halfway about to ask for more breadsticks but the waiter has already said goodbye, so customer sheepishly puts hands back down and drearily continues on with meal :'(
Our bathroom is near the front door. I told somebody on their way to the toilet "have a nice night". He confusedly told me "you too?" While he opened the bathroom door.
I work in retail, and I've gotten into the habit of hearing the pinpad beep and telling my customers "Alright, you can take your card out!" One night I went to Subway for dinner and asked that they toast my sandwich. The oven was done toasting sandwich, so it started beeping. Out of habit, I said "Alright, you can take the card out." "I'm sorry, I missed that. What did you say?" "Nothing. Nothing at all..."
i always ask people if they want their receipts and the other day i asked an old woman "would you like your beard?" as i was staring at a man with a beard. she prob thought she had a beard after that
I was working for three retail chains at once when I was at Uni. I had so many customers hang up on me because I had said the wrong brand name and they figured they had mistyped the number. Many immediately rang back and would be very awkward at the start of the call because they swore an identical sounding guy with the same name just answered from another storeโฆ
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Blockbuster Video when I was in high school in the 90s. So many times, I'd answer our landline at home with "Thank you for calling Blockbuster Video, this is rabidassbaboon. How may I help you?"
Oh man, I work at a Walgreens and I'll never forget my first day they had me greeting customers. In my head I'm going "Don't say Walmart. Don't say Walmart. Don't say Walmart." My first customer walks in. "Hi! Welcome to Walmart!"
As for awkward phone call stories, I am a pretty well-spoken and charismatic young man, so I always assumed I'd be fine answering calls. We get a call, so I pick it up. My smile fades, about five seconds pass, and I realized I had no idea what to say in the heat of the moment, so I just go "... ... ...Heeeeeeey..." Thankfully it was a manager, not a customer, who called and they told me what I should say.
I hate being told to take my card out. They always say it about 2 seconds before the machine says please remove card. I can read you know, let me take my card out without being ordered to do so, what my money is not enough you also want my dignity? Bastards.
jiibbs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I felt the same way until I started to notice the massive number of people utterly dumbfounded by the new "smart"chip cards. Admittedly, it took me a while to figure out too, but I didn't make others suffer through my learning curve.
I'll never forget the woman who backed up a gas station ATM line to about 18 people, which took up half of the store. The best part? I watched her refuse help. "No, sweety, I got it, it always does this." She said that, I made eye contact with the dude in front of me and we both just dipped out. As far as I know, that woman's still at WaWa trying to figure out that ATM.
I think you're reading too far into this. Plus, a lot of people don't hear the beeping of my store's pinpad since it's softer than most, and a lot of people tend to not notice when it says to remove the card.
This is the best. I used to work 18 months ahead eg it 2016 and I would be working on 2018 release. Any who there were a lot of moments were I thought the dairy in store was past use by.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:39:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have sat people at a table and said have a nice day. Sometime I can play it off by saying have a nice meal if I catch myself but it still sounds weird.
A few weeks ago I was volunteering at a Cystic Fibrosis Foundation event. I asked one of the other volunteers how she found out about the event and she said โI have cystic fibrosisโ and I said, โWow, thatโs so cool!โ :(
G_CAST ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:40:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or the classic telling the gate agent at the airport to have a nice flight.
scans ticket
Gate agent: โthank you have a nice flightโ
Me: โthanks you tooโ
Iโve done this at least 10 times.
Once I got off stage, people saying 'great set', 'nice job' etc. so I'm doing my thank yous, then next drummer comes on stage to load a few things, she walks past, says 'excuse me' and I replied 'thanks'. Died on the spot.
When I was working in call centre hell I'd answer mine "hi my name is [my name] and I'm calling from [company name] on behalf of [other company name]" and whoever was calling would be pretty darn confused
I used to work in a busy cinema. My words basicly came off a recording at that point, especially the end of the transaction. So one time a customer left before I could finish my row of sentences and I greeted the next one with "would you like a reciept?"
Oh, man. I do this a little too often and I work a drive-thru window. People literally drive off without their food after I hand them their money and say "have a good one!" Instead of "its gonna be right out sir!" because their brain tells them "Oh, she said bye so we're obviously done here". They always come back embarrassed, but I feel at fault every time. It's easy to get the many scripts we mindlessly repeat all day mixed up sometimes.
Of all the shit I've read in these comments, this is the one that got to me. I've been trying to go to sleep for 20 goddamn minutes and can't stop fucking chuckling. I'm gonna wake up still laughing at this, thank you.
I arrived at the gym one day, checked in at the desk, the front desk guy said "Enjoy your workout!", I said "you too!" :-/
DeckT_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im a cook in a restaurant and when handing out the meals to the waitress , I often almost say ''enjoy your meal'' and it actually came out once. Even still I always feel like thats the thing to say , I give em the plates, they say thank you , and I wanna reply enjoy your meal !
In theater class, i was doing a skit in front of the whole class. I was a waiter asking for an order. My friends says โcan i get a steak and salad?โ And I responded with โyes please.โ Needless to say i was so embarrassed. Especially with what happened afterwards.
You think that's bad?! I work at a gas station part time and instead of telling this 40yo gentleman after ringing him up to "have a nice day" I said "I love you". He just said "....well okay" and left.
the restaurant i work at does dine and to go orders, and most people wait sitting down at a table so sometimes you take dine in order out and say "have a nice day" like it's a to go order
My wife had finished chemotherapy, and we went out for a nice meal. Our waitress was super good and super sweet, and we paid cash with a very nice tip. My wife slid her the folder and said โno tip.โ The waitress looked so confused. I said โshe means no CHANGE.โ
We all laughed over it, thankfully. Chemo brain is a real thing folks.
I worked at a movie theater & the number of folks who would respond to me saying "there you go (while giving them the tickets & change), enjoy the show!" with "you too!"- I always cracked up a bit because you could see the moment that they realized what they had just said & that it was too late to correct themselves. (and yes I said that because it rhymed)
Working in restaurants for several years, on more than one occasion I've had someone thank me for showing them to the washroom, and my dumb, habit-riddled brain wished them to 'enjoy!'
Customer service jobs can either be the best thing for treating social anxiety or the worst thing. You interact with so many damn people a day, so even if only 5% of your interactions are awkward, you still say something cringey like 3 times a day. I just don't care about awkward moments anymore when hanging out with acquaintances or people I've just met outside of my job. Just like, "Yup, that's their impression of me, maybe it'll change, maybe it won't."
I went to the premiere of Star Wars with a friend of mine. The ticket person said โEnjoy your movieโ, to which she replied, โThanks, you tooโ. He then quietly said that employees are not allowed to go to premieres. I died a little bit after that.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:36:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you aren't careful, this can actually trigger a conversational paradox, and trap both parties in an eternal time loop of small chat. That's why I never ask anyone how they are... too risky...
I said that once to a pizza delivery guy. He told me to enjoy my pizza. I said, "Thanks, you too... wait, I mean, if you get to eat pizza later, but I will enjoy mine right now... ah hell, whatever, you know what I mean."
He's also the pizza guy that I tipped a little extra to every time he didn't mention that I still had a Christmas wreath on my door in April.
Wherever you are, Devon, I miss you. You were my best and most reliable relationship to date.
One time I went to tell a customer "have a good day!" but halfway through I realized what time it was so I tried to switch to "Have a good night" but trailed off when I got mixed up and ended up saying "Have a good die...!"
Crush: "Happy birthday"
Me : Happy birthday to y... me"
Kinda saved it but I died inside because thatโs so dumb to say.
Eps_ilon ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:06:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young, I was halloweening one time and I was walking away from a house, and instead of saying "Thank you!" or "Have a good night!" I said "Love you!" That was my next door neighbour. Never can forget.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:32:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work exclusively evening hours, so I'd always say "Have a good night!" After a year and a half, I started pulling daytime shifts, but I'd still accidentally say "Have a good night!" even though it was 11am or so. Some customers would give me an odd look, but it always bothered me.
After considerable concentration and practice at saying "day" instead of "night", I now consistently say, "Have a good nay!" about 50% of the time whybrain
I was holding a door open for a client at a job a few years ago and when they thanked me, my brain got stuck between "no problem" and "no worries" so I just said "no."
Dahvood ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:57:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got food from Mcdonalds once. She handed the meal to me and said "see you later." I replied "sure will!"
Never seen her before in my life, or seen her since. Brains are a straaaange thing
DaltonOB ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:23:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a football (foot-long meatball) at a subway
I once ordered a Butterflinger at the movie theater.
bkn0b ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:47:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to say โtalk to you laterโ or โcatch you laterโ to a client on the phone. What came out was โcock you later.โ We could hear the client laughing their ass off as my dad hung out. 5 years later we still reference it.
Just a few days ago I went to the lost and found to look for a customerโs ID. I called out โwhatโs your name?โ and my boss whom Iโve known almost two years now said โNick!โ Then hung his head in embarrassment.
I had an angry customer who ended the phone call with โburn in hell, cuntโ and I just went โthanks, you too!โ
My boss heard me and cracked up so all is good.
One time (as a cashier) I was trying to tell someone, "have a good night!" and in my delirium said, "night night!" I just turned my face and walked the other way.
Haha reminds me of a call I made the other morning before I was properly awake - had to leave a voicemail for the client and ended the message as I would an email: "Kind regards, my name". Wtf?!
So many times I've been taking an order at a table and I've tried to say "lovely" or "Thank You" and gotten mixed up. So awkward telling customers you love them....
I had just started working at a Subway after I had worked at a movie theater for about a year. One day in a rush instead of saying "Enjoy your meal!" or "Have a nice day!" I said "Enjoy your movie!". They got really freaked out because they actually were going to a movie after lunch and wanted to know how in the world I knew that.
I did this today when training someone. He'd been saying thanks after everything I helped him with, so I was telling him, "no problem" back. Then he had the audacity to change it up on me! Instead, he said, "Okay, cool." "No problem." "...Thanks."
I work in a ski rental shop, everytime I say โhave a nice holidayโ people always answer โthanks, you tooโ and I know it makes them feel awkward so I just say have fun on the mountain or something
A friend and I were buying alcohol for her 21st birthday party and the chap at the counter said 'Happy birthday!' as we were leaving to which she said 'You too!' and I just started laughing while she realised what she'd said.
I do variations of this too. I work at a pizza place and I go from answering phones (delivery or pick up orders) to taking orders on the front counter (to-go or dine in) and Iโve caught myself a few couple times asking people at the front counter if they want their order for pickup or delivery. The confusion on the customers face makes me crack up and nervously try to explain at the same time.
I worked as a checkout chic at Kmart I was sopping one day and asked the cashier if they had flybys. I was so use to my script I was saying it to everyone
psbwb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use to laugh at inappropriate uses of "you too" until it happened to me. Long story short, I drove a long way to have NSA gay sex in the middle of the night to another mans house. After we were done playing Star Wars, he told me to have a nice drive or something, to which I replied "you too." While stile in his house.
I had one of those moments recently, booze bus was set up on the way home one afternoon so did the breathalyser and the cop says โall good, drive safeโ and I was like โyou tooโ. My husband didnโt think it was cringey but it certainly felt cringey telling a police officer to drive safe.
I work for an airline and daily Iโll say โEnjoy your flight!โ to a passenger and they always respond โThanks, you too!โ And then they start walking down the gate a few feet and then turn around and try to correct themselves and we both chuckle about it. Customer service can suck but Iโve grown to love when that happens haha.
Some guy I walked past in the street was doing the whole begging thing (in a very British way, they just kind of mumble at you as you walk past over here). I always try to be nice rather than just ignore them, so somehow "Thankyou sorry" fell out of my mouth.
He laughed and said that's the nicest thing anyone'd said to him all day.
My fiance did this over the weekend. A waitress dropped off some fresh fries for us (red robins, yum) and said, "Enjoy your hot fries!" and he goes, "You t- oo... oh... I did it."
She says, "You're welcome! Have a great day! You too!"
Then she started fumbling, but I just smiled and said, "Thanks!" I didn't want to bring the awkwardness to her attention and make a big deal out of it, but I'm still laughing.
I've caught myself doing that too much so I've trained myself to just say "Thanks, have a good one" if I'm buying something, or "Thanks much" if I'm at a restaurant.
I hear of this all the time, mainly the theater equivalent "enjoy your movie" and I've never said "you too" in my life. I don't know how anyone slips up unless they're drunk or dead tired.
Ehhh I had to stop saying good day sir or ma'am. Because if I had 3 guys after eachother and a woman came I always say good day sir. And when a crossdresser came from time to time I absolutly had no idea what the heck I should call him her?
Alpr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine at work had a similar automation response that was very bad but very funny. You know how you get I to habits and a really common one is for the customer to end the call with something like " thanks have a good night" or something and the automatic response is "thanks, you too"? We'll my friend had a customer that was essentially insisting that we break federal regulations for him and after a lot of back and forth he ended the call by telling her to suck a dick, to which she responded "ok, you too." She damn near had a heart attack when she realized what happened.
Iโve seen that one but it always kills me. Iโve had a shit past 2 days and this is the first time in 48+ hours Iโve had a genuine laugh. Thank you!
I had a similar thing happen to me when I used to work help desk. This lady called in and was just horrible and hostile the whole call. It was a 10 second fix printer issue, but she wouldn't do any troubleshooting with me. She even asked in a scathing tone whether I was new there. I escalated the issue to her onsite tech because ain't nobody got time for that. She hit me with the "thanks soooo much you were soooo helpful" sarcastic bullshit, but I had completely stopped listening by that point and I just blurted out in my best retail voice "You're very welcome! Have a great day!" I heard her snort of disgust as I hung up.
As a previous phone drone that was my favourite thing. When someone was being an absolute cunt you just turn the niceness up to 11 until you're sickly sweet and just wind them up. It's too easy. They're being hostile but you're just being super duper nice and they're not getting the reaction they want. Totally takes the power away from them which pisses them off even more. You know you're pissing them off on purpose, they know you're pissing them off on purpose, but what are they gonna do? Complain that you were too nice to them?
I always get on my sickeningly sweet customer service voice when a dickhead customer sarcastically thanks me. "Oh of course! You're very welcome! Is there anything else at all I can help you with today?"
I was serving a older lady in the shop i work at, and instead of the usual, "thank you.", " No, thank YOU" bollocks i usually go through, she said "lovely, thank you!", to which i naturally replied, "Love YOU!"
I've done that, on a call with my boss. We finished talking and he says "OK Bye" and I said "Love you, bye" and hung up. Brain farts.
I also answered the phone at my job with a spiel, "Thank you for calling company X, this is One, how can I help you?" Except I was tired and said the name of my old company. The worst was when I was so tired I answered my phone at home that way.
Colleague of mine had a similar mix up of words when trying to help a customer find an email we'd sent them. Meant to ask if they'd checked their spam or junk folder, but instead asked if they'd checked their jam or spunk.
All our calls our recorded so my poor colleague has had everyone in the office listen to that call. Luckily the customer found it funny and laughed for a solid minute.
I said this same thing opening a fitting room for a girl with her mom. I died inside a little bit. It didnโt help that they both gave me the strangest looks and were so awkwardly silent.
I once did something similar. I ment to say to a customer my usual passive aggressive bs line of "Im sorry, but we will have to agree to disagree on that".
Instead I gave them my jokey joke phrase i use among friends of "It's ok to be wrong".
Didn't go down so well.
denalim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is hilarious.
In my old retail job I had to call customers that their order was ready, and always ended my voicemail messages with either "have good night" or "have a good day" since I worked openings, mids, and closers. One day I was working an opening after a long run of closers, so I started saying night, realized it was 9am and tried switching to day, but ended up saying "have a good n-ay." Have a good neigh. I immediately hung up too. It was super embarrassing, but at the same time I always laugh when I think about it.
Iโve said this to a very polite patient when I volunteered at a hospital. They thanked me for something and I was stuck between โYouโre welcomeโ and โNo problemโ when I accidentally said โYouโre problemโ, which couldโve easily sounded like โYour problem.โ Itโs been 6 years and Iโm still mortified.
I answered a customer call when I worked at a movie theater and it was a couple asking me for directions to the theater from wherever they were. They were driving and getting frustrated with me, and I was kind of getting frustrated with them for being mad at me when I assumed they were talking to me on a smartphone, so at some point I said something like, "most people would just use the internet." They did not like that.
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 3490 points ยท Posted at 21:48:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Technically no. There are map apps including Google maps that let you download maps to your phone. Then you can use it when you're traveling somewhere you don't have internet. I do this whenever I travel internationally and don't want to pay for a new sim/data plan.
...but you have to use the internet to download the maps in the first place. If the person wasn't smart enough to use Google maps, they aren't smart enough to download a map.
Woah, that's news to me! Thanks! I don't splurge for a data package for my cel, so I (thought that I) can never use google maps on trips. I'd look at the map beforehand at home using my wifi, and draw the main details out on a paper to take with (don't have a printer at home). Actually I'm currently planning a trip to a big city two weeks from now, so your tip will help me out bigtime!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your phone should receive gps information in airplane mode.
In the context of the post, these people were driving around looking for a movie theatre. In order to use the GPS on their phone, they would use a service like Google maps, which they would need internet to do. The GPS is useless without the map.
zocke1r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they downloaded the map of the area beforehand
...if they downloaded the map why would they be asking for directions?
Korhaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or they know the coordinates of where they are going, and then they can use GPS only, although I don't think Google maps tells you that information, it is what GPS provides.
I work at a tax software support line and so many of the calls result in me just Googling their question and giving them an answer with 2.5 seconds. It takes everything I have not to say "why didn't you just Google it?", haha.
robhol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People, especially young people, take their mental plasticity for granted because it's all they know. 5 year olds pick up some technology and after playing around with it for a while and a bit of instruction, they just learn and then they're a complete natural. It's fucking magic- especially compared to someone older, who can play/experiment with something, get lessons, practice, and just not learn. The magic of "learning" can just stop working eventually for some people and requires many times more struggle to imitate the effortless miracle it one was.
I guarantee that older people who need to have the same thing explained to them 20 times are not incapable of learning, it's that they are unwilling to learn, barring some kind of brain trauma or a below functional IQ.
My dad is in his late 60's and he's at least capable of doing something on his phone or on a computer after having it explained once or twice, or barring that he pushes through and learns it without any guidance.
Basically, it's completely regardless of age: Some people are lazy goddamn fucks who don't want to do it for themselves, they just want someone to do it for them.
A lot of older people fall in to agist stereotypes, and they really believe they're past it. Like you say, being past it is rarely the case. Although we all have some cognitive decline with she, older people can still function as well if not better as long as they're willing to learn.
I am under the impression that it's not that they're unwilling to learn, it is just that their view of the task encompasses the entire device, rather than just the singular application they are using.
Take for instance, any pre-90's electrical device. They are usually vulnerable to both corruption via incorrect input, and incorrect output by user error. If you make a mistake, you have to start the process all over again, which instills a sense of fear when inputting data. Also, should you damage/corrupt any part of the device (including external parts - like keypads), the entire thing could become broken/useless.
It is wholly unlike devices of today, where mistakes can be erased/fix by simply going back one step, and should the internal application stop working, a simple restart will fix it. Even most devices can sustain significant physical damage before they become useless.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My coworker isnโt great with current tech, but heโs learning. When he asks us for help he stands there, pays attention, and asks clairifying questions. Then next time he asks about the same task but further down the line.
My mom asks, and then just leaves. She just fucks right off, leaving with half the info of what she even wants to do and refuses to supply that rest because she โdoesnโt understand computersโ. We once got into a massive fight cuz she wanted me to โhelpโ her figure out how to submit online job apps but refused to give me any of the info (ie work history from before I was born) I needed to fill out the application.
There are difficulties, but most of it is willingness to learn.
My dad's 72 and knows his way around all his technology better than most young people I know. However he also used to be a computer programmer for a living so he's no stranger to computers.
I suppose I was including that "willingness" as part of the difference- older people on average have to overcome that as an extra barrier compared to young people, it's not like they "choose" to be crotchety and tired of learning new stuff while kids "choose" to be excited by every new thing they encounter- even if it's just an effect of societal expectations or pressures that cause them act so rather than some innate difference in brain chemistry or something. I'm mostly talking in general- obviously people can naturally be more or less open to such things and/or choose to put more effort into learning new stuff.
I don't think my dad is mentally impaired or uniterested in learning technology. Sometimes he expresses his desire to understand it and for me to teach it to him. But he just cannot grasp anything whatsoever related to technology, no matter how many times you show him. But my mom is great at it and only a year younger. Idk
you wouldn't help your elder family members with anything electronic ever?
I get why you say that, but you probably are nicer than just flat out refusing to help your mom learn how to use her google calendar app...
ajanata ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:47:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After putting up with so much ineptitude from my family... Yes, yes I would. Just because I am a software engineer and am generally good with computers doesn't mean I know everything about every computer, phone, or piece of software out there. I just fuck around with it until it does what I want it to, or google it. They can do that themselves.
Snote85 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:42:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. Having someone know you're in a field related to computers is like being an unpaid help desk employee. I went to school for hardware repair (back when that was still a major you could get) and it was like having a million friends you never met when their shit fucked up. I would get calls from the mother of friends I hadn't talked to in years.
I do get that those things were exceptionally expensive at the time and that having any one you knew look at it, would be better than putting it out to pasture (and most did pay me for my time) but still, that's not an excuse to force someone to help you with a problem. Especially before you've done everything you can yourself to diagnose it.
I won't help my sister with tech questions anymore. Because, not once but twice, she called me to fix a TV that turned out to have been unplugged by her cats. I even asked the first time, "From what you're describing it sounds like it's not getting power, have you checked the plug to make sure it's in good?" to which she replied, "Yes." She had not. Now she can check it and call someone else. :D
fatnino ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:49:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you show them how to do it step by step, all they absorb is "ask this guy to do it"
An older person at work asked me to fix this broken computer. I jiggled the monitor cable back into place.
They had watched me do it, and I politely said "Sometimes you just have to make sure all the cords are plugged in. These things sure are finicky!"
A little while later when the same thing happened, someone came and found me and asked me to fix it again. Apparently they had been told by the first person to come to me because I am "good with computers."
Snote85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had almost the exact opposite thing happen to me at work the other day. The principal had his computer start acting up and got the Math teacher to look at it. Well, when the teacher did look at it he found out that the principal had a bad power switch. He'd fixed it completely and was done with it save for putting the case back on, when he got called away for bus duty. I asked the principal if he wanted me to finish up. To which he quickly, nearly shouted, "NO!" Like I'd asked if he had a kid I could steal and run away with.
I have over 80 hours in a degree in computer hardware repair and worked in two separate shops fixing computers for a total of about 5 years. He wasn't going to let me put in two case screws. I shrugged and kinda laughed about it but it was still slightly offensive. For the record I've never asked, been asked, nor attempted to fix anything for them. So it's not like he was basing it off of anything. I think he just was afraid I'd undermine what the Math teacher did. Which is honestly a reasonable consideration.
roogoff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's nice they were helping you network, talking you up to people.
I would have had more sympathy for them if they were older, but they seemed to be around their 20s. I think the laziness was definitely still a factor though.
I don't think they're being deliberately lazy in most cases. In my experience they often feel as frustrated and hassled as the person trying to help them.
And because they get frustrated (not to mention embarrassed) they retreat to what's familiar over choosing what's good. Not too long ago asking for directions was a normal request and it was no trouble at all to oblige.
So they do that instead because the last time they tried to use a navigation app something went wrong. They didn't know enough yet to know what went wrong and they could tell that everyone else thinks this is just a simple task and how could they possibly just not figure this out. And there's no way they want to relive that moment so they stick to what they know.
I just started a retail job in an area that is popular with retirees. More than once a day, we're asked directions to where the nearest "xyz" store is. And then we either have to download a public transport map for them or draw a physical map on a piece of paper to help them get there. These people all have smartphones but are the keyboard pecking pre-baby boomers who refuse to touch computers because they're not "computer people"
My sister is 19 (I'm almost 30) and she calls me lost every few weeks. I finally told her she's calling me on a smart phone, type it into her GPS. She said it didn't work. Turns out she meant she doesn't know how to make it avoid freeways, so it's easier to ask me. She isn't the best driver... I got her a mount for her phone so she can use it hands free while driving. Teach a man to fish, ya know?
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not always old people.
I know a teenager who printed out directions to where he had to go and yes he had had a smartphone since he was about 13...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:19:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I write them down instead of using my phone, but that's because it helps me remember so I don't have to check either.
Plus it frees up my phone to play music :)
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:34:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You don't fully understand how low the barrier of entry for selling phones is now, do you?
I once got a "smartphone" that couldn't open two apps at once, let alone keep up with its GPS or internet signal. By the end of a two year contract, most modern phones are giant shitty bricks that barely function.
Piee314 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're buying the wrong phones. I've had $99 Android phones that were full capable of doing a decent job for over two years.
I had to get a galaxy s5 replaced due to a hardware issue only for the replacement to start having the same issue less than a month later. I had a droid DNA get caught in a boot loop only for the replacement to overheat itself into an early grave while trying to get directions home. (the screen wasn't fully on either, it just couldn't handle Maps)
In the end of the day, if you know your phone will give you trouble, you print directions just in case or decides its had enough.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Piee314 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you printed directions from Google then Google knows where you are going.
You're allowed to use hand free devices, ie: Setting up your phone with maps either on a mount or through Bluetooth, and not touching the phone for your trip. You can also turn off location history within Maps.
ayanala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair he might have shit service in an area and wanted a hard copy of the directions if he lost service
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're called imbeciles
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve heard of many older people who refuse to learn technology and are proud of their ignorance of it. Part of me gets it, why learn something that seems difficult to understand if you donโt need to and youโre happy with how you do things now? But another part of me is like, how can you get by in modern society without learning technology as basic as even an email address?
you just gotta understand that they didn't live in the age of fast advancing technology. Look at it this way:
1) your grandparents (or people born in early 20th century) first saw radio, then came TV (in like 20 years or something), then came color tv, then came video players VHS, CD, DVD, BLURAY, then came computers, smaller computers, then phones, then smart phones, tablets and so on.
2) your parents probably started with tv right away
3) we, on the other hand, are used to radios, tv, video players, smartphones and PCs from birth.
I sure as hell get mad at my mom for fucking up settings on her Mac air and samsung phones, though
Snote85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad owns a Body Shop. Since the proliferation of the internet the insurance company has started having him send in pictures of the car to be fixed, instead of sending out an adjuster to do it. This task, for reasons I'll explain, has fallen on me to do. Mainly because he's scared of technology. This dictates when he will get paid, so you would think he would be motivated to figuring out how to do this. He also calls me up at say 6 PM and says, "This has to be done tonight!" Which makes sure I can't plan to do it and evaporates any peace I might have mentally until it's done. He has done this for at least the past 5+ years.
One of the main problems is that he still uses a bellsouth.net email address. An address from a defunct company, absorbed back into AT&T, that has changed its POP3 and SMTP information no fewer than 6 times, since I have had it. So that change causes it to keep fucking up in his outlook express. Causing a big "Fuck you!" error message and no incoming/outgoing email. Currently, I have googled the correct settings and it still won't send/receive emails on his computer.
I have absolutely and definitely set him up a new email, twice, through gmail, but he wants to use his old antiquated nonsensically irritating one. Which is his way of having me do it for him and I am currently "An idiot" for not being able to figure out what settings that AT&T have changed their servers settings to. Not him for continuing to use that email but me for not having psychic powers.
Anyways... So, now, I have to go get the camera, reduce the picture size in a program, (because he has the camera set to take the most storage intensive images he can, which is fine, but I'm not going to drag out the process by sending 5 different emails. When one will do what they want. I also don't want to change the setting in the camera in case they ever need a more detailed picture. This way I can send them a low res version and then follow up with a more detailed one if requested.) scan the estimate, copy the estimate to a thumb-drive (since I don't even have a printer/scanner/copier) that I then have to use to put it on my computer, and then find the info as to where to send it, the estimate number, as well as any other pertinent information that he's written somewhere on a piece of paper that could, and likely does, have other scribbles on it. I also have to stay on top of any requests for more information and write down any confirmation numbers (Since I can't forward them, for obvious reasons.) All this to be called an idiot if any step gets flubbed. Oh, and my favorite part, is if the company drags their feet I'm accused of doing something wrong and costing him money. That's always a fun part of helping someone out. Being called incompetent for things that have never happened once and not being able to make a huge company move at the speed he wants.
He's my Dad and of course I'll do it for him because he needs me to but shit man, learn to do this shit yourself. It will take literally seconds and make both our lives easier.
Edit: Had to clarify some things.
Buixer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I see how that would be a popular policy. You help an old person with some electronic device, you instantly become their go-to tech support for the rest of their lives. It's a nightmare.
theSarx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT, and to be fair, ignorance of technology and it's use isn't exclusive to the elderly.
Some of it is willful ignorance. My 75-year-old grandma knows how to read and write emails (although she's embarrassed about her writing, she feels it's not good enough) and actually tries, but on the other hand, my dad refused to figure out how to set the time on a VCR back when they were common and he was much younger. He and his wife even bought a computer, but the most they can do is play solitaire. He doesn't know how to do things on his cellphone, including setting up his voicemail. He has to wait for my sister to come visit if he wants to change the time on anything digital, and he's only 64.
It's honestly because they're that bad.
After working in IT for so many years I feel like they succumb to the mouse in the maze mentality.
They don't understand what the buttons they hit do, or why they're pressing them, but if they hit buttons in a very specific order their desired output is rendered.
It's a lack of understanding of what they're doing, with only an understanding of what their goal is.
Think of it like driving a car. We all know how to drive a car thanks to practice and education, but imagine just putting a blind amish person behind the wheel of a car. They may have heard about cars a few times, but really don't understand on any fundamental level how they work. They might hit the gas, then the brake then the gas suddenly. But they're blind so they don't really see what they're doing. They just know they have to get to the grocery store. They grow flustered, they start getting upset and frustrated at their own ineptitude causing their emotions to overwhelm their logical thinking/rationalization. This will continue until they're just trying every option they can in randomized orders until their goal is met (if met). They've become a mouse in the maze.
Piee314 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:32:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom is like that. She's always writing steps down. On paper, with an actual pen. Just to print an email or something. I try really, really hard not to get exasperated but I often fail.
arvanb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mother does this too, but at least she is taking the initiative to help herself remember, or give her a map to do the things she wants to get done.
Also writing things down (with an actual pen) is great in general. It helps you remember things better than just typing it.
Piee314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I agree with that last point, but if you type directions then you can search for them later. I have an awful memory but I types notes about everything into OneNote. Later I can search and find them again very quickly. It works well.
I recently realized this is a huge generational difference for people my age. If I want to go somewhere I'm not immediately familiar with, I'll just plug it into Apple/Google Maps and go.
The other day at the restaurant I worked at, some older folks at a table were trying to navigate a friend they were meeting and the lady on the phone says "What street is the building on?"
I paused, thought about it, and realized I had absolutely no clue.
I literally had to jog out the front door and down to the street corner to look at the signs. I was legit confused, because it's the kind of thing I just assumed I would know... and yet...
It's owned by google, but most people find it better than google maps as far as getting you around slow traffic and whatnot. I find that even my daily commute is easier because i have frequent construction around me.
I had a man call me from his car asking for directions once and I could literally hear his GPS robot voice in the background. I think he was testing me.
Seeeab ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? My examples are a little different but I swear sometimes people call in just to see if an employee is lying to them or something. I worked at a hardware store once and all the time people would call in asking if we had stuff in stock or what the price is, information freely accessible on our website (granted it can be a little off on inventory counts but if it says we have 68 rakes we probably have the rake, you know). One time I relayed the price to a customer straight from the shelf and there was a little gasp and a pause. "But your website says it's $._" (can't remember the price but it was a few dollars cheaper). It took me all of half a second to realize the label was just a little old and hadn't been updated in a while, I explained this and apologized and hung up. Took a bit longer for me to realize someone had called in to ask for the price of something they had on the computer right in front of them.
Like, even if the price on the shelf was $100 higher, we would obviously price match with our own website, or they could just order it from the website to get that price anyway without even coming in the store.
We get people who call in just to talk because they're clearly lonely so I have no doubt we get people on the other end who call in just to see if an employee is going to screw something up lol
I've been in this exact situation. I was working at sbux. This lady called in and needed directions. After 15 mins of trying to navigate for her, I was finally just like "Look you need to pull over, and hop on Google. I've gotta get back to work" .
She was very upset when she finally found the store.
Maโam, I have to hang up now, because attempting to avoid being rude to you means Iโm rudely ignoring a half-dozen customers who are able to navigate the world on their own. Good luck, hopefully I wonโt see you on a milk carton someday.
I work for AT&T and I have customer call me all the time asking for our customer service number. And Iโm like you googled searched my stores number google search customer service.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:37:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely aggravating. A few clarifying questions are understandable, but at that point it just makes sense to consult a map. Even if the kid didn't have a computer, as a student he had to have had access to a library or something. It's hard to give directions like that without knowing where the person is starting from, too, which was my main issue.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ha something similar happened to me. I had just cashed this guy out and then he proceeds to ask for directions getting to a certain highway, one of which I had never heard of. I told him that I wasnโt sure wear that was. He said โ Well how would YOU go about getting there?!!โ I said โ Iโd look it up on my phone.โ He stormed off to his car and brought back in a map, and started asking other customers for directions.
Man, I work at the public library and one day I had a woman call who wanted me to stay on the phone with her the whole time she drove there, and walk her through every step to make.
Whenever I'm really tired and a customers calls me saying something like "I'm trying to find you but I don't know where you're located" it's usually met with "if you tell me where you are/what shops you see and I can help a little better". I'm not a mind reader, I can't tell you to go four fucking stores to the left (where they're usually calling from) if I don't know where exactly you are.
The absolute worst part is when I tell them that I'm located on the exact same strip of shops they're on and they ask if I'm across the parking lot. No. I said "were on the same building as you, you just need to go right down to the end towards the street and I'm on the very corner".
I work at a movie theater and on Sunday some older women called in asking about the new movies we got (Isle of Dogs and Flower) I give her the synopsis of Isle and she then asks for Flower, so I start to read it and halfway through my co-worker starts chuckling which makes me full on burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Luckily the lady thought it was funny too once she realized what the movie was about.
If there is one thing I hated about awnser customer calls is that question. How am I suppose to know how to give directions for every place in a 15 mile radius? I can give you a good idea of the surrounding area so you can spot the place but if you are getting mad that I can't give you turn by turn directions, piss off. I don't miss dealing with some customers.
Similar experience.
Had a delivery driver call my work asking for directions. Weโre in a big industrial area so thereโs hundreds of random warehouses within a 3-4 mile radius.
I give him the nearest intersection and the closest popular business. He starts rattling off random streets and names of buildings he is passing that I donโt recognize. I try asking if heโs near or has passed a few major roads or buildings. He doesnโt know, just continues rattling off names of random shit. So I pull up the area on google maps and try to find anything heโs mentioned with no luck.
After several minutes of this frustrating epic fail, finally the uncontrollable word vomit comes โDonโt you have a phone or GPS you can put our address into? That would probably make this a lot easierโ
To which he disgustedly replied, โNo Iโm an old school truck driver. We find out way without that. Iโll just stop at the next building and ask for directions then.โ
giggles at the irony
Still donโt know if we ever got that delivery...
I used to work at a hotel in DC area. Lots of calls like that. There were a good amount of them that I convinced to install Waze and try it out. Iโd sell it by telling them that my directions could be great or horrible depending on time of day and if there were any accidents etc. BUT that there was this fantastic app that Even I use every day when driving to work... hehehe
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how we even got to the end of the street without a smartphone. Seriously. I remember printing off reams of paper instructions. One wrong turn and you're fucked. Or honest-to-god maps. How the hell did we read maps without crashing our cars? I'll be damned if I can remember how I survived.
I work in a pharmacy and people will come in and ask for the phone number to a certain doctors office. We have a computer on the front counter, and I will say "I dont have that memorized, but let me google that for you", type the name into google, and then turn the screen so they can see the first result which is always the doctors phone and fax number.
99% of the time the customer then pulls out their fucking smartphone and calls the doctor...
I once had someone call and tell me where they were and then ask for the cardinal direction to the dealership I worked at. He was not thrilled with my confusion.
Used to take a call once a week from this same old lady asking what movies were playing.
Everytime I answered, I knew I was devoting the next 15 minutes to telling this woman what every film was about. The number of times I had wanted to tell her to look it up on the fucking Internet...
The thing I never understood about this was, how did they get the number? If you're not using Google Maps, it's usually more steps to find a phone number for a particular store, I know you're not driving around with a phone book, so you managed that but couldn't manage looking up the directions?
I have a friend that makes a point to say, "Let me google that for you..." whenever someone asks him something that can easily be googled.
Gashnor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, I worked at a hotel and people would call me all the time asking for directions. They'd give awful location markers too, I'd have no idea where they even were.
I always hated getting calls like that because a. you will have more accurate directions if you use your smart phone and b. I only knew the directions of how I got there- if someone was coming from another direction they were SOL.
The entitlement of some people man.. It's not your job to ensure an adult can figure out how to get somewhere? If someone asked me I would have said " We don't offer that service sir, you can try mapquest click "
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God, this totally made me remember my days working customer service when I was 18-22 years old. I worked at a hardware store. I'd answer the phone as a cashier with me ringing people up, and some dumbass, it seemed like it was always some old man who needed directions from where they were to the store. I swear to God they'd say "well how do I get there from where I'm at"... and I'd let it pause for a minute, to see if they'd catch what they'd just said to me and how fucking stupid it was... and of course after sitting there and them saying nothing I'd say "well it depends on where you actually are".
How on Earth I worked in customer service for 4 years is beyond me. It really opened my eyes and made me realize how fucking stupid the vast majority of people are. I got in to it with a couple customers a few times.
Or when people call in asking what's playing and the showtimes. Shit you can find on the theater's website but were too busy looking for the phone # to notice
KvvXR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They can find the phone number for the theatre, but not the location?
I have a lot of customers ask where we are located.
My go to response is "by the mall, the old staples building!" any local understands that just fine but a couple times my next sentence has ended up being some variation of "have you tried google mapping it?"
That is entirely not your job to play navigator for them. If that were me I would tell them that I can't help them and to use the internet off the bat. I am here to give out tickets and clean up poop not give out directions.
Iโve had that happen. A woman called me asking how to get to my store. Iโm bad with directions so I kinda stood there flustered for a moment until she said, โmaybe Iโll just use google maps.โ
I'm a front desk agent at a hotel and I'll get calls asking how to get to the hotel when the customer DOESN'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. How am I supposed to even help them get to hotel if I have no idea where they are? If they just used Google maps or Waze like a normal person, they would have almost no trouble. God damn people are stupid
Eliju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady call my store from the mall parking lot asking me where the best place to park was to get to my store. People are insane. It wasnโt even that big of a mall
Drodain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had someone call my store to ask what time we closed. They had googled the store phone number so they could call with this question.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Phrasing. Say " do you have a smartphone? You can use GPS on that and that might get you here faster." Use a nice tone and they will never realize you're telling them to f*** off and quit wasting your time
Every single time a customer asks me for directions or asks if I know a great vegan Korean BBQ around here I want to scream at them to just google it! I few times I have suggested "It's probably on Apple Maps!" cheerfully to someone who asked me for directions. Bitch, I go from the subway, to here, to my house. I don't know where anything else is!
zz0rzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, if someone starts giving me directions anywhere
I probably won't remember
I struggle with road names that people assume are common knowledge and especially ones that are just route numbers (highways are a nightmare)
I'll just put it in my handy dandy GPS in my phone!
Have you noticed GPS in phones becoming worse across the board? Apple Maps used to be the only bad one, but now Google maps is getting worse and Waze is just annoying. Maybe we have become too reliant on them and that's why they seem to be getting worse? Who knows, but I've had a smartphone since I started driving and I do not miss the atlas I used to have to try and read for my parents.
Maybe four years ago my 29 year old brother asked me for directions somewhere. I just told him to use his damn phone like everyone else. He tried to get mad at me until my other brother backed me up.
Shit. Sunday was legitimately the first time in years I saw a flip phone. It's astonishing that even the poorest people I've met have a smartphone. I cannot imagine life without mine, honestly.
Iโve had people ask me for directions while Iโm at work and I usually would tell them that google is a lot better at directions than I am. Or Iโd offer to just look it up on my phone.
Yeah at the office where I work downtown people are always wandering in asking about other doctors & other addresses even. I quite frequently say, "I'm not sure but I can Google it."
I work at a huge college campus and fairly often, students will come in asking for directions to X building or Y event.
And while we have maps, theyโre on printer paper and so detailed theyโre nearly impossible to read, much less find the specific building out of the hundred on campus and then trace it back to where we are, giving directions on the fly.
These kids are my age or older (mostly masterโs and PhD students in this area), and I see them on their phones all the time. And yet every time I ask them if they tried looking it up first, they get a look on their face and say something like โOh, I didnโt think of that!โ
Age has nothing to do with things like this.
gumgum ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ORrrrr they are new in town and need directions and don't do every damn thing on the fucking phone you ignorant rude bitch. It isn't your place to question why someone needs directions and if you are too fucking stupid to be able to give good directions then hand the phone to someone who can.
I was telling clients their dog was dying and they handed me their phone to tell their daughter (on the line, official owner of the dog) what was happening. I took the phone, introduced myself, then promptly said "How are you?"
J2MES ยท 8724 points ยท Posted at 22:57:33 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
J2MES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez how many other people are going to comment something better than me, too all the people who downvoted me I was being genuine and now that I read it it sounded pretty sarcastic but I actually thought it was better. thanks
frerky5 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:10:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You: "Everyone that still has a dog in a week say yaaay!"
Used to happen to me all the time. Walk into a room where I know the appointment is a euthanasia and muscle memory makes me say, "Hey guys, how ya doin'?" Once had a teenage girl, her face streaked with tears, give me this god awful glare and snap, "Not great!"
A colleague was once asked by a little girl during a euthanasia appointment something pertaining to her dog. I don't remember the exact question, but my colleague's response was, "Don't worry, your dog will be dead soon."
It's totally rough! I'm usually good about saying a less offensive "heart will stop" with euthanasias, but once the owners asked a question or did something that threw me off so when I was telling them what would happen, I said the euthasol injection would "be the one that killed him"...ugh!
Oh, man, I know. I've had dogs my whole life, and had to put down more than I've ever wanted to. But, when it's time to do it, you need to do it. I took our 13 year old female lab to get put down a few years ago when she couldn't stand up without crying, wouldn't eat anymore, and couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Truth be told, I waited a day or two too long, but ultimately felt good with my decision. When I got home and told my 8 year old daughter in an apparently too adult of a manner, she started crying and yelling me. "why did you kill Mattie? I loved her."
I tried to explain cremation to my daughter in the softest way. I did research on what to say what not to say. They were like whatever you do don't say "burned or fire"
I was like "hunny when we get Roger's body back from the vet it's going to be his ashes." and she immediately threw at me "so they are going to burn him in a fire? Why couldn't we just get him stuffed at least then we could still pet him!"
I think it came from my dad who's house has several stuffed hunting trophies that she enjoys petting. I guess that can sound wierd if you don't grow up around hunters.
Keyra13 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:56:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So...did ya think of an answer? Or were you just like "I...did not think of that" making her cry even harder?
I told her pets don't usually get stuffed. She didn't seem convinced but accepted that answer. We were actually on our way to my mom's house to watch the movie Coco and she kind if tied his death into the spirit animals in that movie. And it helped her accept it.
Honestly she handled it much better than I did.
Keyra13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
K242 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:23:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, this hits hard for me right now. Had to drive back home last week, my 15 year old Westie was falling off real fast after her latest round of chemotherapy. Exactly like you described: wouldn't eat, wouldn't get up to go the bathroom. Lot of wheezing from congestion. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it was still so damn hard.
For me, the "ripped my heart right out moment" was watching my mom break down in the vet's office. She pretty much collapsed, and kept crying while telling our dog she was sorry she couldn't make her better.
I lost my girl in January. She had cancer for almost 7 years, and she was going to be 8 in May. We had expected her to pass this year, not because she was showing signs of her cancer coming back but simply because the odds of her dying were just high. She had three different tumors, the one malignant one was destroyed by chemo that we had put her on to get a few months out of her. We were hoping to slow the cancer's growth, we slowed it so much it went away and it wasn't a cancer type that did that, and we couldn't use the more appropriate chemo for her because she would have died from her reaction to it. So we had been expecting her to die every year since she was a puppy. We just thought we'd have some warning.
Sooo, anyway, we schedule her for her normal twice yearly checkup with the oncologist. The night before she was tearing around the house, playing and play fighting with our other dog. That day at the vet her heart gave out from a huge tumor. I felt lucky that we could bring her home to say goodbye (she would get dropped off at the oncologist, it was a long long drive with traffic and we could drop her off, go to work, pick her up and not have to miss a day of work for an appointment as they took a few hours to do the full checkup). I was so happy that there's mobile euthanasia (the company we used is national) because we could give her a little bit of love, she could die where she wouldn't be stressed or scared, and my other dog could get the chance to realize that she's gone.
He would always wait for her when she was at the vet's for the day long check up. Ears pricked, a few times he'd howl, hoping to hear her howl back. He never rested until she came home. He'd fall asleep, but wake back up and listen for her and watch the door for her. The day after she died, he didn't wait for her.
Not only were we heartbroken from the unexpected death, but our hearts had to break again as we watched our other dog massively grieve for her too.
When my female shepherd passed away my male shepherd walked around the house lost with his ears down yowling and wailing at the top of his lungs for WEEKS on end. It sounded like a Disney movie with all the howling. This dog had never howled before in his life. Iโve never seen or heard such a thing and Iโll never get the sound of his sorrowful cries out of my head. My own cries sounded much like his. Itโll be 4 years in May since she passed and we all still feel her absence.
Sorry for the loss of your girl, it is a pain like no other. Hugs to you and your family.
Yeah, we still miss our dog who died right before we got our girl. Some pets you never really stop grieving for.
I knew my boy was going to have issues, which was one reason why we wanted to have him be able to check out my girl after she died. He needed to know that she died and not that she just didn't come home anymore. Your boy was probably looking for her for those weeks. One of the reasons that wolves (and dogs) howl is to keep in touch and find other members of their pack. We simply could not do that to my boy and we had planned ahead that he would be allowed to examine his buddy after she died, no matter if we managed to do it at home or if she died at the vet's.
He's got some issues right now with being alone and noises scaring him into a panic. My house is extremely quiet because I'm deaf, I don't even own a radio or use an alarm clock (well, I have one but it's a living alarm clock) and so we had to put him on prozac. He's doing much better and we think that we can wean him off in a couple more months fingers crossed We're also going to get another dog but it won't be ready to come home until late sept/early october, and I think it's good for him to learn to be alone and get some more confidence before his new buddy arrives.
when they can do the euthanasia at home, it's so much less stress on the animal. They don't have to take a scary car ride, move around, be in a strange place. They can be in their home with their favorite people. I hope I'm able to do this when it's our kitty's time (hopefully many years from now. She's only 8.)
That's exactly why we did it. She got to go lying on her favorite dog bed, under the blanket that she came home with as a puppy. She always demanded a blanket any time she was going to sleep when she was alive and loved her cave bed so we were damn well going to see her out under a blanket.
Our 13 year old Shepard is getting close. She is still mostly mobile so not too bad yet. We are talking to the kids and trying to make it better for them but there is just no way to make it easy. They have known her all their life. Next few weeks will be rough.
Oh, wow. I think that's a little bit tougher there.
I'm sure my inbox will be flooded with "it's the same thing." No. No, it's not. Losing a close relative is not the same as losing a dog that lives outside.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kids aren't dumb. She saw the dog going downhill, and everyone knew it was coming. Everyone just didn't know that day. I was on my way to work after everyone had left for school, the dog was laying on the ground, whining, and couldn't get up. I saw it was time to go, so I did what I had to do. That's what folks who run a household do.
If the animal is really miserable, it's just cruel to the animal to make them wait hours for someone to get home from school. It's kinder to not make them suffer. It's not great for the kid, but they will eventually understand.
My dad died last year, from a heart attack, I had been consoling myself that it was fairly quick, but was explaining what happened to a doctor friend (my dad sat up suddenly, clutched his chest and said "that's the worst pain I've ever felt")
My doctor friend said "Oh, that would have been his heart tearing open"...
Was no longer consoled. Poor Dad.
Honestly, that level of "fuck the bullshit, you know what's about to happen" would have been really helpful to me when I had to have my cat killed. I knew what was happening. I knew it was for the best. I knew that it was the kinder option for my friend, and even though I was devastated (still am, and it's been almost a decade), I knew it would have been selfish to drag Kitty's pain out any further to appease my own guilt. Pithy euphemisms don't help. Real Talk does.
I admit, though, I was openly crying in front of everyone, so I would have been hard to identify as the person internally screaming for a reality check.
I had a vet snap at a coworker "this cat doesn't need antibiitics, it needs to be put down!", right next to me. To his credit, he seemed to immediately regret the comment and was very gentle when I started crying.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:29:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My vet said that as well. If it's any consolation: I didn't like it, but it was the truth, and I needed that in that moment. It helped withthe grieving. Maybe those owners needed it as well.
I think I would appreciate that more. I don't remember how old I was, I want to say teenager, when I had to get my cat put down. I know that he meant well, but it irritated me the way he would repeat something along the lines of 'humanely euthanize' like it was some kind of mantra. He kept repeating it. I know crass isn't the right word to describe how it felt, but the way he kept doing it made me feel like he was trying to pull one over on me. I'm glad my dad was there, and the vet was talking to him, because I wanted to say something like 'this isn't hocus pocus, just tell me the cat is going to die.'
I've had to put a few dogs down in my time, as an owner, but the best one was about five years ago. The vet doing the euthanasia loads up a MASSIVE valium vial and administers it. My dog goes out like a light, and the vet goes "Oh shit that might have done it" and after we all have a tearful chiuckle says "Well, we still have to do the formalities" and administered the final drug. Turns out he took the weight off his chart from his previous visit, when he was about 20lbs heavier.
Ughhhh I always get so awkward after euthanasiaโs and the amount of times Iโve said โhave a great day!โ to clients after just putting their dog down kills me inside.
I just want to stay in treatment all day so I can avoid human interaction and not make a fool of myself.
If it's any consolation, when I finally convinced my parents to put down our 17 year old (!!!) pointer/brittany mix, the vet tech doing it was possibly the most awkward human being alive, she literally said "oh wow he's been going a bit too long hasn't he" (in reference to his being, y'know, a 17 year old 75lb dog with tumors everywhere, cataracts, and barely able to stand), and when his paper-thin veins collapsed on three out of four legs she said something like "let's hope this last one holds or we might have to get a bit violent". My dad wasn't super amused by this, but I thought it was hilarious, and honestly pretty comforting because it reminded me that old dogs being put to sleep is something that happens every day. This girl had euthanized so many dogs she was forgetting to be tactful about it, and I dunno that just made it seem less horrible to me.
Also, even when the vein held, Bailey refused to pass out until she'd pumped like 3 syringes into him, and then he wouldn't actually die until she did a 4th. She was like "wow he really doesn't want to go", and while that might have been awful, I replied with "yeah he's always been a stubborn asshole", which was a nice transition into talking about his life instead of focusing on his imminent death.
Good to know Iโm not the only awkward tech in the field! Iโve assisted with at least 100 euthanasiaโs over the years, and youโd think Iโd figure out the right thing to say when clients are leaving but my mind goes blank.
Iโm sorry about your furry friend, but it sure sounds like he didnโt want to go down without a fight! I bet he was a very good boy.
I had to bring my cat in on Friday to be cremated. I felt awful being in line crying with my heavy box in a room full of people with their very alive pets. It was horrible.
Then at the end of the transaction the desk lady asked "do you want a receipt of your purchase" and I could just see the horror in her face and she was backtracking like "no no you don't want one do you"
Our vet now has a separate door that's private, so you don't have to walk through the main waiting room for times such as these. What was your cat's name?
I took my cat in to get euthanized after he stopped eating and surgery was going to cost way too much. One of vet techs comes in and goes "Hi. How's Smokey doing today?"
I just responded with "Well, he's here to be put down, so not great." She got so red and walked out without saying anything.
A lady apologized to me once because her dog was so heavy, I responded with something about dead weight. I had to leave the room after I realized what I said.
I really hate that the vet and vet techs only see me and my animals once a year for physicals and then on our worst days. They help me and my pets have soooo many good days.
I had to have my cat euthanised last year. Kidney disease, progressive, sad ending.
So I come out of the vet's room, face streaked with tears, holding a clearly empty cat carrier (held wrong way up, door open) when I'd come in an hour ago with a cat in it, having just had my pet of 15yr pass away in my arms. I need to pay, so I head to the desk, still crying a bit.
The receptionist glances at me only briefly as she's on the phone and gives me a little "one sec" motion. I wait. She finishes the call. She still hasn't really looked at my face. She asks me for my name and then asks if I'll need to schedule a follow-up appointment.
I was too shocked to really react. I just said "No."
She taps through my file, then seems to finally get to the latest note and finally sees what she is billing me for. She then takes a proper look at my face and says "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!"
At the time, I wasn't paying attention, but she must have been mortified.
I used to be a vet tech. Glad I got out of it! The emotional (and physical) stress is not worth the low pay. I think you really have to love it to last in that kind of career.
This is all so bad but so funny
It's bad bcus the same thing happened to me today (my dog being euthanized) but funny bcus muscle memory making y'all say that
metans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw my half brother in January. I don't see him all that often, and didn't see him at Christmas last year. Out of habit I asked him "how was your Christmas?" And I was a little taken aback when he said "a bit shit really."
Then I remembered he lost his mum to cancer in November. Talk about wanting the ground to swallow you up.
"Can't complain, just another day at the office. I was going to tell you something but I forgot. It'll probably come to me after I watch your dog die. Anyhoo, I gotta get back to work. Good talking to you, here's your mom."
"your mom's staring at me like she wants me to keep talking. So, Uh, I'm always a little tired after lunch, and could use a short nap. A cat nap is better than a dirt nap. Anyhow, I've got to get back to it. You picking up what I'm putting down?... Figuratively of course."
Oh fuck. First comment all day to make me laugh out loud. I wouldn't have even caught that double entendre without you adding the "Figuratively of course".
You picking up what I'm putting down?
Oh god that's terrible and fantastic and I can't stop laughing. Bravo.
Here's a fun new phrase for you: those automatic bits of conversation that don't really convey any useful information are called "phatic expressions." We use them all the time in small talk and other casual social encounters.
A good example is when you say to a stranger, "How are you?" and they reply "Good." Both are phatic expressions because there is no meaningful communication happening; it's just a socially expected, polite exchange.
I was going to be a few minutes late to work today so I called and the new manager picked up. I explained who I was and that I was about two minutes from parking my car; his response was 'Will do.'
I was on the phone with a customer while reading an IM that said something about something being retarded once. He asked "How are you?" and my response was "I'm retarded, thanks. How are you?"
This was four years ago and I'm still embarrassed about it.
Recently had a friend pass away, and while I had done well telling my coworkers and classmates that I was โhanging in thereโ or โeh, a little better,โ I went to a little friend memorial brunch.
Being around people who also knew him, there to celebrate his life, when one asked โHow are you doing?โ my jaw dropped a little, and... nothing came out. I couldnโt lie to these people, but I also wasnโt really wanting to bust out crying either. She quickly followed up with, โOh thatโs just the worst question, Iโm so sorry.โ
So donโt worry, it happens to the people going through the grief at times, too.
Zooomz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of weaksauce parents gets someone else to break the news to their kid? That's not how you handle death with children...
They weren't weaksauce parents and she's not a young child. She was aware of the situation before the phone was handed to me in the first place.
Zooomz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha, I guess I assumed this was a younger daughter for whatever reason - the actual owner line should have been a hint to me. That'll show me to assume.
In most states you have to get consent from the legal owner to euthanize an animal. So if the daughter was above adult age but the dog was living at the parents' home the vet would explain the situation to make sure she didn't want to try further treatment or other options. It's more of a legal issue because unfortunately people sometimes bring animals in that they don't legally own and want to have put down.
Yeah they could, but a lot of times the parents are too emotional. I've had to have the phone conversation with plenty of spouses/adult children/legal owners. It sucks but it is part of the job.
She was three hours away and the dog was suffering. I was in touch with the mom because that was the number on file, but she called her daughter on her way in to let her know what was happening. Even though the daughter was aware of what was going on, everyone wants to talk to the person in charge, which was me. Plus telephone can be a bitch of a game, so I'd rather have talked to her personally rather than through her parents anyway!
Is no one else wondering about the parenting fail? Who tells a stranger to tell their daughter something as emotionally devastating as their best friend is dying?
alitairi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When leaving a voicemail to a client to let them know their cat died during surgery, I ended the voicemail with "I hope you have a great day!" out of instinct...
When I had to go get one of my rats put down, I was that person.
"How are you holding up?"
"okay and yourself? mind buffers wait, no, I'm terrible. Sorry."
Txtxtz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend had a story from a vet they knew. Its been awhile, so I hope I get the details right.
A cat had been brought in to be euthanized. There was a room with a window, that was used for the procedure in the event that the family wanted to watch.
The family did, and they were being led out of the room, around the corner and to the window. They got to the window just in time to see the vet flailing around and bashing her arm, with the cat wrapped around it, into the table.
Apparently the cat had gone from docile to full on attack and went after the vet.
I had to take my kitty to be put down a few years back after his kidneys started failing. He was a mess, poor boy. I had a terrible chest infection at the time and looked rough AF. Vet took one look at me and asked who he was putting down, me or the cat? I can appreciate the humour now but at the time I wanted to slap him!
It is my job. Her parents called to tell her things weren't going well, they laid the groundwork. It's my job to talk to her and let her know what I'm seeing and what my recommendations are. I've talked to owners on the phone before when pet sitters or friends bring them in - they need to be informed just as much as the people bringing a pet in do.
Oh i thought the parents owned the dog and they just made you talk to her so they wouldn't have to, I misunderstood. I'm trying to become a vet too so i just was curious if that was one of the responsibilities
No worries! Even if the parents didn't want to, I would have still talked to her because she's the dogs owner and has a right to know what's going on. Vet med has a ton of communication with people, sometimes over the phone if they're not there. No it's not ideal, but I always think about if I was in their position I'd want someone to be patient and talk with me too.
Best of luck!
I said that to my friend at her Momโs funeral. Fortunately, she chuckled a bit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For fucks sakes you reminded me of this super cringe thing I did. My uncle has ALS. At his fundraiser to help pay for bills I went up to him and asked โhow are you doing?โ I donโt think Iโve ever cringed as much as I did right there in my life
Patzzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay this is the best/worst one
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious, and I have 2 questions:
1) who the fuck makes a stranger deliver this news to their daughter
Back when I used to have to draw blood, I used to say that to poor hospital patients ALL the damn time. I am not good with the social interactions thing.
For some reason, it didn't register that you could be a vet or something, so I assumed you worked at Walmart and we're telling customers their dogs were dying. I was very confused for a minute
I did this shit to my neighbour's son, who's father (my neighbour) had passed the morning of. We went over and as we all greeted I shook his hand and asked in a cheery manner, "hey how are you?"
I was at a funeral for a family friend and was talking to people with my cousin and we started talking to the son. I started off by saying how are you and he gave me a really bad look, I felt so bad I knew how he was I just always say that it was instinct.
Alpr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad and family HATE 'How are you' when you're in a time of mourning. My dads oldest sister was passing away and a pastor came in and said that. Boy he had to control himself not throwing him out. "HOW AM I? MY SISTER IS DYING YOU PRICK!"
Kind stuck with me now and it makes sense, but it just seems to be the usual question because you don't really know what to say lol
Maybe I'm being stupid, but I don't really get what is wrong with this. What's the alternative? Launching into the bad news? That seems colder and a bit stranger to me.
"so how about I casually weave your diagnosis into a conversation. Sound like something we can do?"
"uh yeah sure.."
"So how are you?"
"Uh good?"
"Oh thats weird be cause you have leukemia"
I work as a paralegal. After weeks of searching I finally found the deceased's long lost children ( he burnt off on them and got a new family). So, lady answers the phone and I say I ask if her name is Laurie C. It is, before I could think in a very excited voice I say " Goodness I've been trying to find you for weeks, I'm calling from _______ Attorney's office, we're probating your Father's Will!!!!" Needless to say, she was nowhere near as excited as I was.
ikonmel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The worst... I work in HR and sometimes have to help terminate/fire employees. Without fail, as they are walking out the door I'll say "Ok, see you later!" I even tell myself not to say it but it still comes out.
I saw a dog running in the middle of the street once, I pulled over to try and catch him, ended up getting hit by a car (it was a smaller dog). Anywho, dodged some traffic, grabbed the little dude, and tore off to the vets office. Brought him in, and the lady asks whats happening, and told her exactly that "this dog was hit by a car, i don't know who the owner is".
I stood around for a minute waiting to make sure there wasn't anything i could do, in walks this dogs owners, with a small boy maybe 8ish (I was 17 around now). They go into a waiting room. Receptionist walks in, tells me she's so sorry, my dog didn't make it. Nope nope nope, "Oh, i don't own the dog, the owners are in the waiting room down there". She said "Can you break the news to them when you go back". and left.
I once had a customer doing drugs in the bathroom (single-occupancy mind you), so I knock. Nothing. Knock again. No response. Yell at them, identifying myself as an employee, no response. Then I said "Sir if you don't respond I'm going to assume you've OD'd and an ambulance will be called on your behalf."
how did you know he wasn't just having a difficult poop? and was embarrassed when you knocked? I guess he might have come out with a big bag of drugs or something.
The new ad campaign for the young, broke, and desperate potential targets of DARE revolves around muggings and B&E being much more successful without drugs in your system. Don't get caught assaulting someone: Assault them sober.
ecila82 ยท 750 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a bakery years ago. We had bagged up mince pies on the counter for Christmas.
Customer asks me "What do you do with these?" and my instant response was "You eat them sir".
He found it hilarious thank goodness! He then clarified, wanting to know how to serve them (hot or cold). My Dad still brings it up.
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 07:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wow, i couldnt imagine someone actually getting angry about something like that. Its much funnier to just laugh it off.
I used to work at a cash register for a 24/7 department store, I had a night shift and it was a slow night. I was serving a customer and whilst she was bagging her items, I decided to sneak a peek at my phone. She asked me 'How'd you find it?' and nodded in the direction of the phone, so I replied 'In the technology department, there's an Apple devices section'. What she meant was 'how do you find it' as in do I think it's a good product, not where it was located :')
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:22 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol, I gave a similar answer when a lady asked me, "How do you sell your popcorn?" "We sell it." She kept staring at me as did her husband trying to figure out if I was joking or not. I was dead serious (I didn't understand the context of their question) and my manager had to step in and asked if they could give a little more detail about what they were asking.
They wanted to know how our popcorn was made and how it differed from a similar brand. (I had no clue about the other brand except they were both exactly the same as far as I was aware.)
Fuck. I was working at this pizza shop a couple years ago. These two guys park, an hour after closing, and start trying to come into the lobby. It's like, we have the "closed" sign on the door, it's obvious it's locked. So they walk around to the drive thru window and keep ringing the stupid buzzer we have. Finally, my manager opens the window and tells them we're closed. So they just keep trying to order food and finally, after a literal 15 minutes, my manager caves and takes their stupidly large order.
I think it was 2 medium pizzas, a large salad, and a dozen wings. So they start bitching that it's expensive and that it's a rip off and shit. My manager stands firm and tells them to pay or gtfo. So they reluctantly pay, and I start making the food.
Eventually give it to them, and they drive off. Just as we're setting the alarm to leave, we get a call. My manager picks it up on the last ring and puts it on speaker phone. It was those fucking guys. They called to complain that the wings we gave them weren't all drum and that the salad didn't have enough dressing packets. So they demanded we refund them and make them a new order now. My manager says without even an ounce of hesitation, "yeah, you can go fuck yourselves, you piece of shit." The guy fucking lost it, and started saying something but we hung up and left. I went ahead and texted the manager that was opening the following day to give her a little warning.
The next morning the guy comes by and starts demanding they make him food for free and that he's gonna sue the restaurant and that he knows the owner and they gold together. The owner was there, just out of view from the counter. He walks around and says something like "yeah, I don't know you. Get the fuck out."
When I was 14 I worked in a chicken place in a small town. Usually I was the only worker closing. The chicken in the warmer right at close was half off so it would go fast. We had regulars that would come in and clear us out.
I had a drunk tourist and his wife come in while I'm cleaning and demand half off chicken, and of course I didn't have any left so instead they demand I make them a giant order of chicken at half price. I told them the kitchen was closed. They bitch up a storm, swearing, calling me names, the usual trash, so I said sure, fine, just wait out front it'll be about fifteen minutes. I didn't take any cash. I just locked the door behind them, turned off the lights and left out the back door.
I like to hope they waited a long time before realizing.
Yepp, I work at a gas station/pizza place too. Buncha bastards, I tell you hwat. Some guy got all mad once because weather was so bad we weren't delivering, but decided to come pick up the pizza anyways. When he got there he told me and my coworker that "making" him drive out there to get his own pizza (in the middle of a freaking blizzard) was awful of us, and who was responsible for calling off delivery, how can he make a complaint about it? Because he thinks his life is worth more than either of ours, and we should have personally driven it out to him. ???? Delivery driver wasn't even there, the district manager called off delivery herself, and there was only two of us and it's illegal(?) I guess to leave only one person working there alone, for safety's sake. Either way we definitely would have gotten fired had we even tried. And I don't know why he thought telling me he doesn't mind whether I live or die over his $12 pizza was going to somehow motivate me to do what he wanted.
nat_r ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:20:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mac4491 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 08:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I know the owner. I'm going to make sure they fire you."
You know the owner? The owner of this non-franchised chain company with over 800 locations throughout the UK? You know this multi-millionaire Englishman? You, a Scotsman from the north east who I'm pretty sure is known for dealing coke round the back of the pub down the road? You're personal friends with the owner?
"Alright, you can give him a call on your way out the door."
Ahh, the cheap visits with the lads. Pre-club drinks on the cheap. A cheap greasy fry up the next morning. How I love thee, Spoons.
Nivomi ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 09:34:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a family business, and I'm disappointed that I only got a "I know the owner" once.
"Oh, I'm their son, nice ta meet ya! Where do ya know the big boss from?"
The look on that dude's face trying to figure out how to salvage the situation was perfect.
We definitely got a lot of assholes pulling bullshit, swearing at staff and saying they'd tell the owner when we kicked them out, and then coming back and getting banned when they tried to tell tales, though.
"Oh I am so sorry. I'll call him right now so he can tell me exactly what he wants me to do for you"
"Oh no no it's ok I'll call them right now."
"No don't worry I have their personal numbers, I'll call him so I can help you as fast as possible."
They usually ran out of the store.
Mantuko ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 11:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once at the front desk I had this lady yell at me that she knew the owner and that she was gonna get me fired because her room was not ready before check in time. The Owner of the hotel (he owns basically all the hotels on that island) was in a meeting in the lobby and saw everything. He walked to the front desk, put his chin on his hand and waited for her to finish (he is stupid rich but loves wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts so he just looks like another tourist). He asked her:
oooh you know the owner? in a really impressed voice.
She replied: Pfff Of course, Him and I we are quite close, if you know what I mean.
He laughed and goes: Yeah, no. I don't fuck ugly. You points at security guard get her out of my hotel, she is annoying my front desk agent. and walked away.
Yeah your manager should have been fired on the spot. Not for telling them to go fuck themselves; he was right to do that. But they actually took an order after closing? Nah. Gtfo the restaurant business. Never, ever take orders after closing. Much less aan hour after closing.
That is a shitty manager to take their order in my opinion. You guys closed over a hour ago and he decided to stay late to take their order? Yeah I don't think so. I would have gone home and made the manager do it themselves if they wanted the order that badly.
At the little diver bar a frequent the owner is sitting at the bar having a beer like 90% of the time. I know a bunch of people who work there and end up there after work most days of the week. It's staggering the amount of people who get mad about how a drink was made and claim they know the owner blah blah blah while he's sitting 3 stools down. His favorite go to line is to lean over and say, "well then why didn't you say hey when you came in?". It's just gentle enough that most of the time whoever it is just wanders off to the back trying to hide the embarrassment.
I say this often: you can email/call the manager and he will repeat what i just said. I am trying to save you some time here.
Itโs true, my manager alwayssss backs us up. I do the same with people who threaten with their lawyer: i will gladly explain the same terms of your contract to your lawyer again, feel free to have them call, my name is x.
I said something similar. I worked in a call centre selling electricity deals. One time I decided to stay back a little later when asked to, because the queue was crazy. Within a minute of my overtime shift ending, I accidentally readied up and took another call.
The call ended up being frustrating, because the customer simply couldn't be connected because their property wasn't listed on the database. I kept saying that it's unfortunate but there's nothing we can do. She gets super irate and the conversation goes for another half an hour. It's now close to 9pm. She says she wants to speak to a manager, but there's literally no managers from my department left in the building. Eventually I just snap and say "Look, here's my name and employee number, the call is recorded so everything I've said is here. Just call in the morning if you want to make a complaint. I will say, it's pointless though, as I've literally not done anything wrong."
Way out of line. I never did here anything about that call though. I kind of wonder if she ever did complain. I suspect she did, and nothing was done about it. I had a few people say they would complain, and so did colleagues. No-one seemed to get a talking to about it, other than the one guy who said something totally illegal.
A customer came up to me asking about the shoes that were on sale for 29.99. I walked over to the fixture and showed him the sign said the jeans were on sale not the shoes. I then said "Sometimes you have to read the whole sign." My coworker had to turn around and walk off so he wouldn't hear her laughin. I am really surprised I didn't get talked to about that.
aretaker ยท 3995 points ยท Posted at 01:22:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our debit machine says
Please Donโt
Remove Card.
And the number of people who only read the bottom line and pull their card out too soon always amazes me.
Maybe they just don't know that spirits means liquor. Maybe they think you sell wine and ghosts.
Seriously though, working at a business where you have to answer phones sucks. "Are you open today?" No, I just sit here on my days off so I can answer the phone. "Oh, good! It's Arbor Day, so I thought you might be closed!"
Calling a place to ask if their open is pretty reasonable. Some people donโt want to drive 15 minutes to a store to find out theyโre closed on Arbor Day. Itโs literally yes or no question, how is that so much?
merc08 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. If they pick up, it's probably fair to assume they're open. But I'm not going to call, have the guy pick up and give their generic greeting, and then just hang up on him. So now I'm stuck awkwardly asking a question that both parties think is stupid.
And it's possible they're closed and just have people there doing restocking.
You could ask a different question. Like "What are your hours?" or "How late are you open today?"
Asking "Are you open?" and hanging up once someone answers are not your only options.
Xholica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a shop with an in store bakery, the baker on duty and a manager would be there an hour and a half before the shop opened. Particularly on bank holidays when we opened later than usual you might be able to reach us by phone but not come in and shop.
I agree. Asking the hours or if we are open a certain day is all fair game to me. Google has hours as well, but holidays are always "Hours may vary due to _____ Day".
It's not pointless to call with the intent to find out if the store is open but the question you need to ask, if somebody does answer the phone, is, "What time do you close today?" Asking if they are open is mostly pointless, if they answer the phone they are almost always open.
Exactly. It wasn't a problem that they needed to call to see if we were open, but ask what our hours are or something like that when someone picks up and it becomes obvious that we're open.
Also, employees at some places are working and do answer phones even when the place is closed to customers.
Although I may have once done something similar. My phone line wasn't working , so I went online to report the outage. Someone showed up and asked if I had called them. I told him no. I couldn't have: my phone wouldn't work!
I realized a few seconds later what he was asking.
kasteen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:59:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what do you expect them to do? Wait for you to pick up the phone and say, "cool you're open" and hang up without giving you the chance to say anything? That's rude.
Maybe ask what our hours are today? Seems reasonable to me.
Xholica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of shops will answer their phones out of opening hours. For example the one I worked in had a manager and a baker in more than an hour before we opened every morning.
Answering the phone usually just means that a staff member is physically present in the shop at that time, not that you can come in.
Processing really doesn't imply that it still needs the card only that the machine is doing something. Most terminals I have seen say that regardless of whether I am swiping a card, using a chip or tap to pay.
Oh man I worked in a chicken only butcher shop a few years back, and the amount of people that came in asking if the stuff needed to be cooked was worrying
When a subway train door breaks here in Munich they put at least 3 bright yellow and big stickers on that door that have a picture and text in like three languages stating it doesn't work. I love sitting beside said door and watching people trying to get in/out like flies on a window.
Especially because they say "please remove card" when done. It's only one word you are missing. Some machines are very fast - while some are super slow. It's not my fault if sometimes I pull out too early. :(
rnykal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had one until recently that said "insert card". Customer inserts card and then for some stupid fucking reason flashed to "thank you" before flashing to "do not remove card" What idiot designed that? People would remove the card and you'd have to cancel the transaction and start over. To top it off neither the pin pad nor my terminal would make a noise to indicate to remove the card.
I feel ya, man. I'm in the same boat, and it's just easy to get cynical about it. I suppose even a 5% reduction in support is a win - I should focus on that!
This got me all the time in the states!
In Aus ours say "processing", once finished they change to "remove card".
Me being a stupid tourist kept removing my damn card!
Agreed, I work in software development and this kind of instruction would immediately set off a red flag for me and my colleagues. It is also possible the software was was outsourced over seas and a non-native English speaker did the copy for the program.
They also have a bad design where it says โprocessingโ then the screen changes to โdo not remove cardโ and that one gets me sometimes since I was just waiting for the status to change. Then it may go back to โprocessingโ again before finally โapproved you can remove card.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One (slightly?) Confusing thing is a card reader that buzzes if the card is successful. The tone connotates error. I think they might have changed it since the though
Exactly my thought. Every card reader Ive ever seen says something like "leave card inserter" or some such, and then says "please remove card" whenever its done. This is more the manufacturers fault than the customers.
Agree. But also this is mostly a line break problem. Just don't divide 2 key words with a new line. "Don't remove card" is good enough
Snote85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? How hard is it to just say, "Please wait before removing." or something more clear. If they say "Remove card" even if it's following "Please Do Not" it makes it seem, at first, like it's saying, "Please Remove Card". As the instruction to not do something is counter intuitive to most people.
I have to admit I misread it the first time I saw one say, "Do not remove card". I felt like an idiot and never did it again but there has to be a better way to convey that. Especially considering you knew enough to put the thing in there, just indicate it needs to remain in the machine until promptly asked.
It also usually makes a noise during that portion of the transaction too. Having it yell at you makes you feel like you're doing something wrong and want to alleviate the situation. So, you're frantic and see "Remove card" and think, "Okay I will." ignoring the initial part of the statement.
Could you take a minute and help out the self checkout kiosk folks? Whoever put that shit in my grocery store needs to be taken out back and murdered. No, wait, actually they should be forced to use the cobbled together Frankenstein pile of shit show to purchase anything they need for the rest of their lives. I think I've counted at least 8 different sub-assemblies from 6 different manufacturers. All these individual devices have been mounted into this wall-o-crap that resembles a steampunk Rube Goldberg torture device.
That's why you don't put "remove" anywhere in the instructions. A lot of people skim text when they're in a hurry. The prompt should say something like "Please wait".
I'm a firm believer in "if a shit ton of customers/users/etc. don't understand your sign/policy/etc. then maybe it's the method of communication that's wrong"
Change the effing sign.
aezart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remove the card sometimes and I never know why. I know I am not supposed to but I still do it and I always immediately say "yeah I know I dont need to take it out"
Maruset ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't Dead Open Inside
CompC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you want someone to do something, you should use the word that actually tells them what to do, if possible. (ie โwalkโ vs โdonโt runโ)
It should say โPlease keep card insertedโ or something.
colbymg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If the โremove cardโ notice wasnโt just the โplease donโt remove cardโ with the โplease donโtโ removed, itโd be less stupidly designed. (Also, why does it beep at you to not remove the card?!?!)
How about:
โWait for itโ
...
โRemove cardโ
No - people would still glance down, see "remove card" and take it out. I would. It should read "leave card inserted" or "processing" or something else.
"it said to remove the card" "it had the words remove and card in there, I'll give you that, but this time leave it in there until the do not goes away."
Takk_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This probably happens to me 10+ times a day, it's not even worth the oxygen required to tell them that that's what it actually says. Just die slightly more inside and start it again.
I mean, we usually see our fuckup too, but too late. I've done this a dozen times - because the beeping if you leave it in is annoying, so as soon as I see the words "remove card", I yank.
uga11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie I've done this, I don't use the chip that often so when I do I either fuck up and pull it too early or come within seconds of fucking up.
CM_V11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:19 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a sticker where the chip reader goes saying โplease swipe cardโ to prevent customers from sticking their card in the chip reader. Unbelievable the amount of ppl that try to remove the sticker to stick their card in.
Oh my god, the other day I was really high at the grocery store and like it's said a million times it said "Please Don't Remove Card" all on one line. But this time, all I saw was "Remove Card" and yanked it out... man I still feel like an idiot.
If I had a nickel for every customer that misread the debit machine and got angry at me when I tell them what it actually said... Well... I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't be a cashier anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a machine that scans checks and electronically converts them and you have to sign on the debit reader to authorize the electronic collection of the check and agree to a posted fee if the store can't collect it. I've had a few people who only saw the words "posted fee" and refused to sign no matter what. Although I kind of wish there was a fee for just using them because way too many people still use checks and with the electronic check system it's just as easy if not easier for someone to steal from you using them.
Zulek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One store does that here and I hate it. I always reach for the card then curse myself as I realize.
Commonly mistaken semantic prosody with the word remove. Seeing a word contrary to the action taking place will induce a correlative response to perform the incited action. "Leave card in" on the other hand offers positive affirmation to the requested action.
dreftig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching some Darren Brown video's. And he explained that in hypnosis giving a command is very effectieve. So effectieve that words like "don't" are ignored by the brain. So maybe it's the same with reading.
nazuuka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In France we use Patientez, and then Retirer Carte when you can finally removes the card. I thought it's a standard everywhere like that o_o
Usually once approved they then just change the first line to "Approved" or "Accepted" without changing the second line. It's no wonder they are confusing.
It's a terrible UI design.
I've done this. I felt like the biggest fucking idiot, the cashier was confused as to what happened and it took like a minute for her to get it srt back up.
The worst part is the gaze that you can physically feel burning through the back of your head from the people behind you.
I did that the other day. No idea why... It was stupid of me. Never did it before but now I'm paranoid as hell I'll do it again. I wish it read "Wait for it..."
Does it have both lines at once or one at a time? I was once sitting at a red light and noticed a business with a scrolling marquee next to me. It said "Get a life." I thought that was a bit rude and wondered what the hell kind of business would casually insult people like this. After a couple seconds it scrolled to "insurance policy today." Then things made more sense. But if your debit machine is scrolling, I could see the confusion.
Same with our debit machines. Also with ours if you put your card in before I hit the button it will beep and say "please remove card."
The number of people who say "it says 'remove card?'" to me is astounding. I've never said it but I always think to myself "if it says remove card then maybe you should do it."
LR5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've made that mistake. You're in a rush or are a bit harried, reading from the bottom and you see it say remove card.
On one of our pinpads the pen doesn't work (for signing, selecting, etc.) and so we have a sticky note saying to just use your finger to sign. Soooo many people try to go for the pen, which is covered by the sticky note.
Bief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those chip cards fucking suck to be fair. It's like I've played basketball on a 10 foot hoop for 20 years then all a sudden it's 8 feet, I just can't get used to it.
sveri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You probably are aware that the human brain has trouble understanding negation? I think this is funny, but if I was responsible for the sign I would reverse it to something like " please leave the card inside" or whatever is appropriate.
Weird, I have the opposite problem at my job. Customers will stare directly at the "REMOVE CARD" message while it beeps in their faces, and yet I still have to remind them that it's okay to take their card now.
Idk why. But it makes me angry when people try to pay before I've even finished scanning. Your time is not that much more valuable. If anything I'm just gonna make you wait longer.
Holy fucking shit the card readers where I work have chip readers that don't function for whatever reason so we just swipe them. There is a HUGE plastic insert sticking out of the chip reader that says PLEASE SWIPE CARD (Like This but about 3x larger) The amount of people I have seen try to force their card into the chip reader despite that being there is unreal.
To be fair, every machine Ive ever seen says "Keep card inserted" or "Leave card inserted" for, presumably, this exact reason. So, yeah, people really should read the whole thing, but at the same time, thats also an incredibly stupid design choice by whatever company made your card readers. If you choose to deviate from the standard design, its more your fault than the customer's when the customer gets tripped up by your design choices.
Its like if some company made a Stop sign which, instead of being octagonal and red with white letters like every other stop sign, was triangular and red with black letters, like a yield sign. I mean... technically people are still wrong if they roll through it without stopping. Technically... they are wrong. But realistically, its the company thats really wrong for making the sign with such a horrible design that its obviously gonna get mistaken for something else 99.99% of the time.
This is going to happen to me some day because the machines I see the most just move right to the "Remove Card" part of the process instead of blinking "Please Don't" a few times first.
I almost do this ALL THR FREAKIN TIME. I used to work with pin pads which makes it all the more hilarious. Why use that terminology!? Why not "keep card inserted"!? Fucking dumb pin pad people.
I was at the doctor's office once and read a sign that I thought said "Let your child play on the rolling stool" and I thought that was very odd, because I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that. Then I realized I had completely and utterly missed the words "DO NOT" directly above it that were like twice the size of all the other text.
I think I got in the habit of just skipping titles in textbooks growing up because all the actual info is in the paragraph below. So now I just skip all the biggest words that are designed to grab your attention the most.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would be one of them. Those devices get like 1% of your attention, and if "remove card" is on the lowest line by itself, that would definitely stand out to me.
algy888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve done that more times than I want to admit. What is wrong with โplease waitโ or โDonโt touch stupid!โ
Do not suggest to me that the card even exists at that point let alone that said card could actually be removed.
Honestly, I'm guilty of this. Didn't actually pull the card, but my hand twitches the moment I see "remove card". Wording could be improved by just saying "please wait", followed by "you may now remove your card".
I am guilty of removing it too soon a couple times. It's just that I hate when it starts beeping at me, so I try to get it out asap. But a couple of times I was too quick on the draw (withdrawal?).
Oh my gosh the amount of people who see "Do Not Remove Card" and yank their card out...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The way the interface on the chip-reader machines is set up is really poor.
If I'm looking at a message that says, "DO NOT REMOVE CARD" and then it updates and says "VALIDATING. DO NOT REMOVE CARD", the natural human response is that I should do something, because the message changed. If they just HAVE to put "validating" on there, they should put it after the instruction to not remove the card.
Source: I sometimes bring in a human factors researcher to help me tune up my UI/UX and this is the kind of thing that he's beat me up on more than once.
cmckone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this... feel dumb every time
Twoixm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm guessing the customers read it as:
โPlease donโtโ just stand there.
โRemove cardโ, before I eat it.
How are there so many people commenting on this saying "Please don't remove card" is confusing?
It's like saying you read the "Please Don't" and went, "Hm, that's odd, why would they just put "Please Don't"?" And then ignore that and see, "Remove Card" and think, "Oh, it says to remove it!"
Because they're on different lines, often spaced out. If you're in a hurry to get your groceries/wallet etc, it's easy just to see the bottom line reading "Remove Card" and think it's time to take it out.
I guess I personally don't ever make myself feel rushed at the register or in a store. It'll take me less time to read the instructions and get it right the first time than rush through and mess it up and have to redo the process.
It just reminds me of my SO saying that the men's restroom was under construction at his store and they had multiple signs posted saying "Men's Restroom Closed" and he had at least a dozen female customers come to him a day to complain about the restrooms being closed because they didn't read the whole sign that just said "Men's."
I think the major issue isn't just about being rushed, it's that the display is poorly designed - the second line is a complete message that makes sense if read alone.
In your example, if the sign had looked like:
Men's
RESTROOM CLOSED
It would have been pretty understandable that those customers were confused.
rhia2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:45:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a sign in our store saying
"All sale
50% off"
And everybody always asks if the entire store is on sale. After 6 months of having this sign up I want to hit the next person who asks.
That's because other place put EVERYTHING 50% OFF!!!!! doesntnotapplyonalreadypromitionedarticleandnotonfoodnotonthatnotonenewitemnotnotnotntontotnotntontotnton
Then you see 50% off everything and you are like yeaaaaaaaaaah right let's see....
Ugh this happens sooo often at my work so I just started assuming every client is dumb and tell them โplease do not remove the chip until it beepsโ and sadly clients STILL remove it.
โI swear it said remove card!โ
No Karen, did you not just fucking listen to me?!
I've been known to get snarky over things like that, I have so many customers who bring coupons and vouchers and ask me what they are and sometimes I can't resist throwing in an "have you tried reading it?"
Simba7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, we had a lady get SUPER PISSED once because she couldn't read a sign. Worked in the prepared foods department of a grocery store, we had rotisserie chickens. Once a year we had a half off sale that only lasted 3 days. Obviously we advertise it in advance, it's a way bigger deal than it should be.
Anyways, lady tries to buy a chicken, gets mad it's not half price, starts literally yelling that the advertisement is misleading. I tell her I can see how you might misread that, but unfortunately I can't control the advertisements. She asks to talk to the manager, I say "Sure, he's actually right over there, I'll take you to him."
She walks up and starts bitching at him without so much as a "Hi", and without even giving him the time to turn around. She grabs his shoulder and roughly turns him to face her so she can continue her rant. I was amazed at his self-restraint, and at her absolute fucking gall.
tl;dr - Lady can't read whole sign, gets physically aggressive.
Not me, but my mom who works at a supermarket at the info/returns/complaints desk. A man came to her saying how they overcharged him for an item. So they take his receipt and go looking at the price tag that he swore said 7.99 instead of 9.99 or whatever. The price tag says 7.99 indeed, but unfortunately, it is the price tag of another item. The man keeps insisting that it's false advertising etc etc until my mom tells him that he looks old enough to know how to read. Apparently the guy walked off in a huff.
I worked in the shoe department in Marshalls. There's about 13 entire rows of shoes on display. Lady walks in, and right up to me in the second row of the women's shoes section and says "you don't have men's shoes?!?" In an annoyed tone... I just looked at her, then said "can you seriously not see the 10 entire rows of shoes right behind me? Half the store is shoes and you've only walked 5 damn feet into the store"
I used to sell tractors. Big, red, shiny tractors. They were right next to my register at Sears. Guy walks up to me at the register "do you guys not have tractors anymore?" "Oh yeah, sure we do. Let me show you" and I took two steps. He didnt even have to move. "Oh... T-thanks."
If it were me I probably would've been a bit salty after that and would've said something to the effect of "I misread it. Sorry for wasting your time, but you don't need to be a dick about it."
BUT I read signs so that probably wouldn't happen to me.
jbeechy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
envirex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At one of my previous retail jobs we had a shoe display that people would take the shoes off of and put back in the wrong spot to the point where if I didn't have to put them back properly at least 9 times a shift it would be a great day. Sooo many customers would think the wrong shoes were on sale and then would get waaay to mad about it and demand they get the shoes they wanted for the discount price because they were in the wrong spot. No that's not how that works, it's not my fault you thought the addidas were on sale when the sign says New Balance in big bold letters.
I had a guy who ordered something that had shrimp in it, only to find out when I brought the food to the table that heโs allergic to shrimp. My immediate response was โThis is why you read the menu.โ
I work in a licensing office and we have to send emails to our new hires so we can get them licensed in every single one of the email drafts I send out I have to include "*** Please read this entire email ***" People still don't. SO FRUSTRATING
This reminds of playing games with a friend who asks me the controls when they are on the screen.
uga11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bartender when a guy asked what they had similar to bud light he responded with we have water. Guys tells him to get a manager he tells the manager the story he has to take a few seconds to laugh it off before he talks to the guy.
I sell shit online a lot and decided that I'd take pictures of the objects beside measuring tape to know the sizing, because Ive been lied to in the past. The amount of ppl who ask how large it is actually gives me brain hemorrhages.
Back when I worked retail at my first job, "You have to read the whole sign" was almost a mantra. I wasn't trying to be a cunt about it, but what do you do if people insist you're a fucking moron when they won't read a sign? I was there for almost eight years and never got written up once, so I assume I was doing something right.
We have locked restrooms at the store I work at. There is a sign that states "Ask employee for a key at the BACK counter." Everyone asks for it at the register and I always have to say "It's at the back counter." I really want to tell them to read the damn sign.
I'm a day late replying but I literally did the same thing today.
I'm a cashier but also do recovery, sky shelves, etc. My feet are fucking killing me today and we were busy so I couldn't get around to a certain task I was supposed to do, I'm just irritated. Our store is doing one of those 'redoing of shelves', so we were getting rid of a lot of crap. We have a little area in the front we keep discount shit on, stuff like, "brown dot item is 50% off!" Since we're remodeling, we had no where to put, literally not fucking kidding, three shopping carts full (small stuff like shampoo, car air vent sticks that smell nice, lightbulbs, etc) of stuff anywhere. It's unprofessional to leave it all in a shopping cart so we ended up mixing the discount table area together. We have multiple signs all over the table that tell the customers anything marked down is the price it is, anything with the brown dot is getting the discount.
Anyway, after probably 15 people telling me that our table isn't right and we need to learn to tell people these things, a woman starts complaining about it, again. In my tired and pained state, I say, in my most annoyed voice,
I was a waitress in college and super slammed one night. I checked on a table after what had been a while and said, โIโm so sorry about that! Can I get you some refills?โ Well this guy just begins this rant, โYeah weโve been here forever. We havenโt gotten any refills. And this was the worst pulled pork sandwich Iโve ever had in my life...โ and he went ON AND ON about this fucking pulled pork sandwich being so awful but he ate the ENTIRE thing! Like I said, I was slammed and I probably listened to him bitch for a whole two minutes (which seems like 10 to hungry customers). When he finally shut up I said, โI donโt cook the food dude.โ
He was pissed and ended up getting his food comped. He came in two weeks later and I ran the food to his table (not his waitress that time) and he immediately started bitching that his Mac n cheese was cold.
At a past job that i was at for several years, I had regulars who would ask me when I was going to be a manager. I would always reply, but when someone is mean to me I go "hold on, let me get my manager" and then my regulars would laugh and agree that I had the better end of that stick
My favorite was the woman who called and claimed the sausage on her pizza was raw. I just said, "That's funny, it was already cooked when it came off the truck." My manager just thought it was hilarious.
my local dominoes has legitimately forgotten to put my pizza in the oven before, and i really wish that was hyperbole.
when i got my pizza, what it looked like was what would happen if you put a pizza in the oven for just long enough for the bottom to harden a little & then leave the rest of the pizza completely uncooked & slightly lukewarm.
so i called in & showed the delivery person what it looked like when he came back, and they just kinda stared at it while mouthing, "what the fuck...." repeatedly and then promptly apologizing & left.
I think he was micro dosing? IDK he made it himself from morning glories. He was a genuinely smart person with degrees and certs, he just was high on his own supply. Sad really. :/
Oh, so LSA extractions? I mean microdosing doesn't have any actual hallucinations, just a mood and energy boost, so it's not that crazy to use it like that daily. I'm just surprised he could deal with the daily body load, LSA feels so shitty.
I saw this so much as a server. Eat most of a dish โoh this isnโt what I orderedโ or magically thereโs hair in it thatโs the same length and color of the customers or I ate it but it was cold or I ate it but there was an ingredient I didnโt like, or after a perfectly executed and pleasant entire meal โoh my sever was rudeโ. The one absolute I learned in the food industry is that however low you think someone will go, there are people who will sink farther. Just to get $9.99 comped. There is no โtoo lowโ for some people.
Man at a restaurant I've had one bad meal. A steak and the cook forgot to season it at all so it tasted like plain ole beef. I didn't say a word, didn't skimp on the tip, just meh shit happens
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:44:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it helps, I was a manager. I would've let it happen once or twice. Then after I forwarded to my general manager and my boss (owner) and they got banned.
I had a guy call the store before I got back complaining that he didn't get his 2-liter. I knew I had done my job right, so I walked back out to my car, pulled the video from the dash cam, and made my boss watch it.
My boss was like "Do you want to tell him no, or should I?" "I'll do it, but you should be right there for when it goes south." I called, told the guy I had videobof me handing it to him, and that I would under no circumstances be bringing another. Guy starts yelling, boss reaches over and hangs up on him. 20 minutes later I answered the phone with my proper introduction, and the Regional Director is screaming at me by name, about how I didn't deliver a drink and I hung up on a customer. "BossName, it's for you!" Then I heard, "Yes sir. I actually hung up on him for verbally abusing my driver.... Yes sir, I actually saw the video of tzenrick handing him his drink...Yeah, he's kind of prepared like that..... Yes sir, I can definitely do that." That was the day that that customer was added to the blacklist. Fuck that guy.
Yeah fucking sucks. I had one delivering pizza, the extras were so long that his 2 liter didn't show up on the delivery sticker so when I handed him his stuff he said there was supposed to be a 2 liter with it. I said I don't show one on my paperwork and showed him the sticker and recommended he call the store to double check and if he did order I would run it back out to him. He said okay tipped me 5 bucks (which surprised me) and I went back to the store and sure enough he had a 2 liter due to him, I took it back to him with zero fuss and wasn't remotely upset about it since he was nice about the whole situation and still gave me a good tip.
treski33 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:06:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy do this to this really nice waitress my girlfriend and I had in Myrtle Beach. He even pulled the โI own a restaurant so I know what I would do in this situation but I wonโt tell youโ. This man did this in front of his entire family including his kids who looked absolutely mortified. After I we got the check and I paid I wrote a small note next to the tip that basically said, โyou did a great job, that guy is just a dickโ. It felt pretty good, I wonder if she ever saw it.
Buixer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:35:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who would brag that he would be glad when we found a flaw in his food when dining in a restaurant. He'd eat around the entire flaw and leave it as evidence so he could get a comp or voucher for his next meal. My parents owned a restaurant so I felt disgusted by his dine out stories.
But at least he didn't bitch and lie about his food like this asshole.
When I was a waitress in college we had regulars who would eat and then dash out before paying. They had 4 kids and were absolute trash. I caught the mother saying "see kids, this is why you need to go to school so you dont end up waitressing for a living". Seriously screw them.
My manager said we couldnt refuse service because we were a christian chain and that would be bad customer service. But thats theft which is against the bible...
I was slammed one day and slipped up an order of a really obese mom and son: The teenager ordered the cheeseburger that came with mushrooms but didn't want the mushrooms. I forgot to note it in my order on the Micros system. The kid ate the whole thing, then his mom loudly complained that the because order was wrong the whole meal should be comped. Manager did it to appease them, and of course they left no tip. Some people are just looking for opportunities to be cheap.
zywrek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... Who goes out for mac n cheese? Sure, the dish doesn't exist where I live, but from what I've heard it's pretty much the optimal low-effort food? Like for bachelors or single parents with multiple kids..
Usually if it's at a restaurant or diner it's done up with some sort of other ingredients added. Usually some variation of chicken(bbq, buffalo) or sometimes lobster or steak. It's not the same as the out-of-the-box stuff you're thinking of unless it's a real cheap place
I absolutely hate people like this! I went to a eat out with a friend one time and I remember this group of 3 or 4 people. The first thing they said to the waitress was "It is cold in here can you turn down the AC." Which yeah you are cold and are the only one that matters in the whole place so lets do that just for you. When the food came I think 2 people complained but the one I remember the most was, the one guy complained about his food without even trying it. So the waitress said she would remake it or get him something different I don't exactly remember, but I do remember him trying it after she left and saying "this is actually pretty good" face palm I don't get why some people just love to complain about everything
Had this happen to me where the guest was just โbitch bitch bitch,โ and I looked at her and said โthere is literally nothing I can do.โ Like do you think I run this joint, eat your food, drink your drink and donโt come back.
When you said you were slammed I thought you meant you were working while drunk and i thought this was about to be 10x better than the other stories here
To be fair, I've complained about the food (hopefully not obnoxiously) before, but eaten it anyway. Usually I'm in a hurry. Or it's not great, but it's not bad enough to send back, but I'm still going to let you know it's not great. Feedback and all that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does slammed mean really busy? I'm from the UK where every word ending in -ed means drunk, so I just assumed you were drunk for the entirety of your story.
But yes it just another way of saying super busy here in the states (though if used in a different context could mean drunk I think).
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 06:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a professional chef. That man 100% should have gotten his food comped and if I was your boss I would have fired you in front of that customer. If you donโt have respect for people and the service, go fold clothes at fucking Macyโs.
If you donโt have respect for people and the service,
It's kind of hard to retain any respect for a grown man throwing a tantrum for some freebies. The dude didn't deserve respect. It wasn't like he was a paying customer in the end anyway.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda hard to run a restaurant/business when youโre employees are fucking idiots
I wouldn't call people "fucking idiots" when you can't even use the correct *your.
I'm gonna go ahead and assume since you're so passionate about this dickweed getting "muh gud surrvace" that you identify with that type of person. Stop throwing tantrums in restaurants my dude, you're gonna end up eating more than your fair share of spit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:48 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dude i find it flattering you spent some much mental energy on analyzing my dining habits. Unfortunately youโre finding are wrong.
P.S. in all my years behind a line I never once seen someone spit in food. People donโt actually do that. Now thatโd be a tantrum lol
Nobody putting cream into their cereal in the morning.
Speak for yourself! Most school mornings for my kids I make oatmeal with apples sauteed in butter-sugar-cinnamon topping and add a bit of cream - a couple tablespoons - to all that.
as someone else responding to me said, the UK refers to it as semi in one way or another. It's not a thing in the US, although we have 2% which is the most common variant between "whole milk" which is approx 3.5% and "skim milk" which is effectively 0%. There are others but the coffee shop I worked at only offered whole, 2%, and skim.
It took me about 20 seconds to get this. At first I thought it meant you were trashy and had a pickup truck? Or a big butt like a semi trailer. Then I got it.
-Guise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking fabulous! I always hated how stupid people could be in a coffee shop. I once asked someone โsmall medium or largeโ and she said โregularโ. Without thinking, without pausing, I just snapped โregular isnโt a size. Will that be small medium or large?โ
Was making casual conversation with a customer after a meeting and they had mentioned how disappointed they were in our QC at the time. I quickly remembered a funny story about our previous Quality guy not knowing how to read drawings or what the difference was between circumference and diameter...
This one is next level. Most the people on here are losing individuals as customers, but you - youโre taking on sending a whole contract down in flames.
Oh no cardinal rule man, any part of your company is the greatest thing ever while in front of the customer. I fucking hate our installers, they try to overbill shit and are picky as sin but to a customer they are top notch.
In a weird way, thatโs where my heart was. I was thinking โman, weโve gotten much betterโ and it came out as โNo, youโre right, we care so little we had once hired this guy.โ
Eh it happens. Customers deal with me pissed off almost daily. I'm professional but fuck I'll admit to it not quite welcoming. Usually because I've got a bunch of stuff to do and every time I try to work on it I get stopped, just gets to you after awhile
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've got a guy that says shit like that in front of clients. I can't get some people to understand that you never shit talk anyone at your company in front of a client. It makes us all look incompetent.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had a teacher that suddenly mixed up stuff like that. They'd measure the right thing by call it wrong,and get angry when everyone was measuring what they said to instead of what they meant.
robocpf1 ยท 7497 points ยท Posted at 23:03:56 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got baited by a client when I was working reception at a law firm. We're supposed to screen calls for the attorneys and usually say "they're in a meeting" or "they're with another client" if the attorney doesn't have time to talk with that person right that moment.
A client calls reception, wants to (edit) complain about my boss - the big boss, bossman that never takes client calls on the first go, usually. She's screaming that that guy, my boss, is currently on her front lawn stealing her lawn ornaments. I don't know what to do with this other than say "Ma'am, I can assure you he's not, he's standing a few feet away from me right now."
She stops screaming immediately. "Well young man, perhaps you could let me speak to him."
I froze. Sh**. I felt like an idiot and had to explain to my boss (who was in fact right next to me). Luckily he laughed it off, said some clients are crazy, I didn't get in trouble or anything, I just felt foolish.
Edit: as I wrote it originally it, it reads that the woman called and asked to talk to my boss, while simultaneously claiming my boss was in her yard. What happened was they called our office pretending to complain about my boss being in the yard, then sprang the trap on me when I said he was there. Hopefully that clears that up a bit.
Cegrus ยท 4868 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is the greatest plan I've ever heard to talk to the guy at the top.
I e-mailed the CEO of telus to get my internet installed after 3 failed install attempts.
a technician arrived in 4 hours of sending the e-mail, after a executive customer service rep called me.
[deleted] ยท 359 points ยท Posted at 05:15:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Emailing the CEO is always a good move. It gets pushed right to the executive customer service rep, who then has far more power than the call center staff.
Also works great if you want to praise the business. I received a whole bunch of free goodies that way.
TIL I should start emailing the CEOs of companies for free stuff
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 05:59:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had an issue with some RAM I bought from Corsair a few years ago and it needed RMAing.
Emailed the CEO about how good the service was and how helpful people were. Received a (At the time) $50 Hard topped corsair mouse pad and a shirt. So I received $70 of free stuff for writing a 2 minute email, saying how good their service was.
Well yeah, it doesn't surprise me that Corsair would do something like that, they have wonderful products and customer service! A truly wonderful company! /u/gloriousge0rgeareyouwatching
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:35:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I'm currently building a brand new PC (I moved country and couldn't ship mine, plus it was quite old) and my go to brand for anything is Corsair.
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were shilling corporate things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were shilling corporate things.
Man how fucking sad is it that if someone has had an absolutely amazing experience with a company, we're not allowed to relay this information to other people.
You know; the reason we recommend brands (or shill, as you put it) is because we genuinely believe in the quality of their products and think other people are better going for them over some other company.
Here's some more shilling for you; based on my experience:
Western Digital fail a hell of a lot less than Seagate.
Sapphire are pretty damn good with the RMA process and fast as well
Gigabyte Durable motherboards have stood against the shittiest humidity I have ever seen and never once showed any sign of failing on me.
Edit:
Had a thunderfly (tiny bug, about the size of 2 pixels) caught in my monitor. LG fixed it and even sent someone out to collect the monitor.
Can confirm, WD drives are great, Seagate is shit. I recently found out that WD bought SanDisk and was actually excited about a corporate merger for the first time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah it's not so much that I think Western Digital are great, just that seagate is shit.
Not always a good move. Sometimes fucks us lower levels over. I worked in a big chain pizza delivery company. Apparently an order got sent out wrong. The woman called corporate to complain, who chewed out my manager who chewed me out.
The lady could have just called th store, and I would have happily brought her the cinnastix she ordered plus a free drink and let her keep the breadsticks I accidentally gave to her
Sure, but I gave them 3 attempts to install. the 1st resulted in nobody knocking on my door and 4 hours later my internet and phone service turned off.
I had to go down the street to a friends to call and complain! I had no 911 service. I was not told there would be ANY interruption to my phone while upgrading my internet.
They claim it was because of bushes in the way of the drop. I ask for them to come out and tell me exactly how far they need it cut back and along what path since I didn't feel like just hacking my yard to bits and hoping for the best.
.. Again, No show. 3rd time, again no show.
There is only so many times you call the regular service lines and get screwed before they have blown their chances to make it right and deserve to be screamed at by their manager.
After the e-mail it took only 4 hours for a technician to stop by and spend the 5 minutes it took to tell me what to cut. 2 days later installed. After over a month of failed installs and screw ups to my service.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In general, you should be aware of what is resolvable at a higher level or a lower level. For simple things, you just go to the low level; but more complex issues you are usually better of going straight to the CEO.
esr360 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:57:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When the simple things are a regular occurrence (such as ignoring my no mayo request at KFC), then best believe I'm going straight to the colonel.
The problem is that the goat's blood to summon him is so pricey.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't know; but an email to the CEO praising their customer service reps and asking for advice did get me out of an early cancellation fee from my ISP when I moved to an area they couldn't service.
mb9023 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was having problems getting my phone number ported over to T-Mobile from Verizon a few years ago and ended up emailing the CEO and one of his assistants responded within the hour. After a week of carrying two phones around and them constantly telling me "it'll be ported today", she got it sorted that night.
I did this when I got sick of all my complaints about late buses being shrugged off. They stopped being late for some time after that. Then they slipped again.
Newoski ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:15:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ceo emails are handled by a gatekeeper that filters them to an appropriate area. I used to work ceo complaints for a large isp. Ceo will almost never know whats coming from customers.
In relation to this i had one instance when i was drawing up a data set for a stakeholder meeting and got caught up on a complaint call. Ceo taps on the shoulder and tells me its meeting time. I explain i am on the phone with a customer that calls in to complain about her $50 bill every month, he laughs and says if that's the case then she is costing us more than she spends with us, tell her to fuck off, cancle her account and meet us in room 3 in 5mins.
How did you find the CEO's email? That's amazing. Our telus guy showed up to the same address in ours, but in edmonton, "oops well it'll be another two weeks before you can get an appointment in Calgary"
"telus CEO e-mail" into google and then click the 1st result.
My e-mail detailed the credits applied to my account and the events that occurred in detail, without swearing or insulting anything/anyone. Mainly it detailed how their install team was costing them money (in credits from customer support + no doubt billing when they didn't actually progress the work any) by not doing their job, and how my service was even interrupted due to them not doing their jobs (including phone service)
DemonRHK ยท 379 points ยท Posted at 04:20:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How tf did she pull that off? I work for the bastards and I can't get within 4 management levels of speaking to Lowell.
Same but AT&T. We have a phone listing with literally every employee and Randall Stephensonโs name and office info are there, but his phone number is conveniently missing.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:59:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:02:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working at a Verizon call center, Dan Mead (Former CEO) visited. We were instructed to not even greet him if we saw him in the hallway, on pain of termination. Asshats.
I emailed Steve Jobs, once, after my roommate's iPhone volume switch broke, and the store refused to do anything about it ("our warranty just covers software issues"). This was the iPhone 3G, first one released in Canada, so phone carriers were used to being able to treat phones as disposable, and dick you around with warranties. My roommate was ready to cut his losses, and I said "no, I heard Steve Jobs gets involved when he's emailed at times - it's worth a shot."
Within an hour I had a phone call from an Apple "executive customer service" agent who got the information from me. Fifteen minutes later, my roommate got a phone call from Apple simply saying "we're sorry for the hassle, I just spoke with Wireless Wave, and they'll be sending you a new phone with express delivery." Maybe 20 minutes later, he got a phone call from Wireless Wave with a tracking number, and got a replacement phone two days later.
He may have been a prick, but Steve Jobs did not put up with his company's image being tarnished.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:02:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve had to respond to a few question marks and escalations, and Iโd put it at -5/10 aggressively do not recommend. Theyโre a huge amount of work, identifying and root causing and addressing and preventing it happening again, and then writing it all up. I just sigh and cancel my plans for the next weeks, because thatโs alllllll Iโll be doing.
A loved one's tenure at corporate says that it is unmonitored because everyone is caught up in meaningless meeting after meaningless meeting with no time for other work. Planning was not their strong suit.
kosif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to google-fu may way up to the "right below the ceo super duper customer service line" for Verizon. crazy how shit i'd been spending a month to resolves was fixed in about 6 minutes.
Okay so this was probably... four years back, & when we got onto Verizon I was in middle school, so like 12 years ago, & we enrolled on the unlimited family plan: unlimited talk, text, & data. But Verizon also allowed you to renew your existing contract, so we just kept that plan up into the Smartphone era.
Verizon frequently tried to get us to sign to a new plan, or anything to invalidate that plan, but after directly saying they wouldn't we were enrolled in a new plan. So my mom, short & fiery as she is, contacts the manager; nothing they can do. Contacts regional manager; nothing they can do. Just kinda kept Googling names, contacting their business lines, & I didn't ask about the details.
So one day I'm visiting her at work, & she says "Oh! By the way, I got our phone plans back."
"Oh nice! What'd you do?"
"I called the CEO at home."
"...what?"
"Yeah! So I looked up his information, but you can really only find his name, so I found his secretary, & asked if I could speak to him about a charity golf event, & she gave me his personal line. Then I called him at home, & explained my plan had been changed & I worked my way up the chain until I got to you. & they changed it back."
She simply went back to work as if she hadn't just come off like the mildest version of Taken I'd ever heard of
Yeah I don't understand how it's such a "great plan." I would've just said "no he's busy with another client right now. Do you want me to take a message?"
TezMono ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:17:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm thinking the fact that he was dealing with an out of the ordinary situation made it easier to forget protocol.
mkcph84 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:33:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is a pretty good cold caller on account of him being utterly shameless. He once called the reception of a big company asking to get the cell number of some vice president. The receptionist refuses, and he just goes "OK, well I'm at his house and haven't gotten any instructions, so I'll just dump these 10 tons of gravel on his front lawn then".
VP calls him back in a panic like 5 minutes later. Got royally pissed though, once he realized what had happened.
Usually a person used to fielding calls would just explain they were with a client, on their way in or out. Or not respond to insanity in the first place
aard_fi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Over a decade ago I was switching DSL providers, and they messed the switch up, so I ended up without internet for a while. The support was useless. I was talking about my issues with a colleague at work, who mentioned that when he had a similar issue he sat down and dialled every number in the providers number block until somebody interesting answered the phone.
That "somebody interesting" was a secretary to the CEO. He gave me her number, and she promised to kick some ass. Got a call from a competent technician less than 30 minutes later who went through some trouble shooting with me, and directly sent out modem and other hardware a second time just in case it's a fault with that (it was unlikely, but he said he'd rather cover this, and that way I'll have a spare set of hardware if it ever breaks later on).
I received regular updates what they're trying throughout the day - he told me he got ordered to give me a status update at least every hour. And by the evening they found a mislabelled patch field close to the handover point for my home, and I got home to working internet.
Never had to use that route afterwards, always ended up getting fast error resolution going the regular way from that point onwards, and cancelled shortly after they got bought due to moving to a different country. Had a short fun experience with the new helpdesk telling me I can't cancel, they'll provide me with DSL at my new address. She didn't quite believe me Helsinki is not in Germany, so I told her to arrange the connection at my new address. Got an email next day they cancelled my contract.
Honestly you gotta respect the smarts on that lady
RuneLFox ยท 1026 points ยท Posted at 03:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel even more foolish. I wouldn't have realised that this was a plot to get to speak to the boss. I would have thought she was serious about the lawn ornaments.
Also after you pay him, you need to need to send me your name, birthdate, address, social and at least 2 credit card numbers to verify your information. After that your classes will begin just under that bridge you bought last week.
Which reminds me. I still haven't received the payment on the bridge. So I'm going to need all that information along with a cashiers check. And a document promising me your second born child signed by no less than two notaries.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you take cash? My bank account is locked up because a Nigerian prince stole my card info.
The only thing that is serious is my MANY ACCREDITATIONS which allow me to teach at such high levels friend. Maybe take course to learn these skills? Only $100 dollars Western Union?
You don't need to be less naive, just quick on your feet... That situation would've been fixed with "ma'am, a few feet away from me is also another client, with whom he's speaking. He'll have to call you back."
Well, in this case it would have been easy: "He can't possibly be doing what you're saying, because I saw him walk into a meeting with a client five minutes ago."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretend interaction is a game. One of the rules is you're not supposed to admit your boss is available. Think before you speak and play within the rules.
"well then you can just go outside to talk to him"
mach0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would approach this completely differently, like, if my big boss is doing something... how am I going to fix this? He's the boss, I don't have anyone to complain to. I would just respond "Give me your address, I will try to send a car as soon as possible, I don't know what else I can do, he's my boss after all".
I don't know what you said before but I feel like you could avoid the bait with something like "ma'am, just because he's in the office doesn't mean he's available." Stand your ground. Double down. Don't take that shit.
Could have turned the tables on her and said "if he's outside your house stealing your lawn ornaments then why are you calling the office? he's clearly at your place" or something like that lol
FlakF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This
Lyrr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. Though...you could also have just transferred to his line if he was standing a few feet away from you, so he could let it go to voicemail.
22marks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I seem to remember a story of a powerful Hollywood agent who would get past the receptionist by saying he was calling from a hospital and it had something to do with their children. They'd immediately be patched through and then he'd just start talking about the deal he was trying to make.
She stops screaming immediately. "Well young man, perhaps you could let me speak to him."
Thats admittedly clever on the surface, but the canned response of "He's with another client" would still 100% work here.
He's standing a few feet away from me right now... talking to another client. Can I take a message?
LP99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:42:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm missing something. She wanted to talk the guy she claimed was currently standing on her lawn?
robocpf1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:50:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote that incorrectly - she wanted to talk to my boss, but she didn't say that, she just started screaming about him being on the lawn. She baited me into admitting he was in the office and could talk to her, where normally I would automatically get her to leave a message or send her to voicemail.
Couldn't you have just followed up with that he was in a meeting? Just because you can see him from where you sit, doesn't mean he was available to talk to anyone? The reception at our company can see most of the executive desks from her seat.
Yes, I absolutely could have, but this was the first time this had happened and the woman was quite literally screaming through the telephone. Caught me off-guard.
Honestly, I wouldn't have come up with any response any better in the moment. I've been yelled at a bunch of times and most of the time I just start citing store policy to get them to shut up. I came up with canned responses that I can robotically reply so the customer is unable to argue with me over stupid stuff. Your job sounds much more difficult.
"uhh ma'am, I can assure you he just went into a meeting. I have visual but not allowed to interrupt"
Or something?
envirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were gonna say "I had a brain fart and instead of saying he's with a client or he's in a meeting I said he's in a client". Gotta say i'm a little let down.
My granddad used to need to contact C-Level / Director Level people at companies. He found if he asked for them by name he got โtheyโre in a meetingโ fairly often, maybe 60% of the time.
So he tried a new tactic. He said โitโs about their car, I think I just scraped it in the car parkโ. Worked wonders for him
Dakurar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But why? You could have just told her that he is near but in a meeting.
Well, you can still decline using the line saying he is in another engagement. Meeting another client. In a meeting. Ask her to leave a message or something.
lol you should have immediately responded "he's on the phone, I'll have to have him call you back." All you said was he's standing near you, you didn't say he was available to talk on the phone.
"Sure thing, his fee is 500 an hour, minimum one hour, billed thereafter every 15 minutes. There is a 1000 fee for making an unscheduled call, and a 2000 fee for every item he has to push back or cancel due to taking your call, there is also a 5000 fee per obscenity. Please press 1 to confirm you understand these fees and consent"
The part where you're 18, kind of new to the job, and are getting screamed at when normally your interactions are limited to normal volume, pretty polite people.
That lady earned the right to speak with your boss.
FlakF ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't see how you got baited by this shit
libwitch ยท 856 points ยท Posted at 01:10:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
at a bookstore, I had a customer complain because after asking me where about a dozen fiction* authors were (all our fiction was in one place), I pointed out that if he knew the last name all he had to do was know the alphabet and it was ok to sing it if he needed to.
My manager took the complaint the next morning and reminded it was probably best I kept my snark to a slightly more inside voice.
*it also took me about 10 minutes to get him sorted on fiction vs nonfiction.
D-USA ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:17:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a 30something professional with a Masterโs degree. I sing the ABC song every time Iโm filing something to remember where it goes.
chuiy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:40:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but I go through at like 10x the speed while muttering it under my breath.
Oh, so do I (and one of my master's is an MLS, which yes, I had when I was at the bookstore). I still will occasionally do it under my breathe when I in the stacks.
had a coworker win at this once. Customer cut in line on christmas eve to demand "the blue book that was up front a few months ago." He turned around, grabbed a random book from a shelving cart and handed it to her. She blinked and said "Oh,, thats the one!" and got in the back of the line.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was trying to buy a book. That makes him smarter than half the population.
[deleted] ยท 23399 points ยท Posted at 22:49:22 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked as a dry cleaner. Woman comes in, her dad died. Wants me to iron the suit he would be buried in. I ask her what kind of starch she would like. She asks what I recommend.
I, in all of my infinite wisdom, said "well I'm assuming he won't be moving around much so a light starch is fine" and then immediately apologized and mentally died inside
eharper9 ยท 3926 points ยท Posted at 03:16:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"well I'm assuming he won't be moving around much so a light starch is fine"
"And ah shit I did it again"
Putnum ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 05:06:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well fine, he's dead, but that doesn't mean he won't be moving around. The body has to get from the morgue to the funeral home to the cemetery, and depending on if/when the open casket part took place, the suit could have been moving back and forth a little bit.
Also, a light starch is more comfortable but not as durable as a heavy starch. Since heโs not gonna be concerned with comfort, might as well got with a heavy starch.
Plus, if a graverobber thinks of stealing the suit they will instantly be put off by the hard texture of the heavy startch, thus saving the dead dad the embarrassment of being seen naked.
[deleted] ยท 3169 points ยท Posted at 01:29:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was suprisingly calm. I think she could sense my pain
dvaunr ยท 2070 points ยท Posted at 03:59:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I probably wouldโve appreciated the answer. Youโre clearly not trying to upsell me or anything, just giving an honest straightforward answer.
chaseoes ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like what the fuck is starch?
nibbins ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:47:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically spray on glue that will keep your shit from wrinkling after ironing.
You can eat all of the starches you want as long as your caloric intake is below your calories burned and you won't gain an ounce of fat. Starches don't make you fat, calories do.
Iโm sad because now I feel super old. Didnโt realize this wasnโt a common thing, unless you donโt get clothes dry cleaned or a grandmother who irons bed linens.
So starch, when used at home, comes in an aerosol-like dispenser and misted on laundry immediately prior to ironing them. It does three things- makes the iron create perfectly smooth and flat presses which gives it that โcrispโ feeling. It also helps eliminate static, and gives the garment or linen a longer-lasting press. Most laundromats and dry cleaners offer the option for heavy and light starches. Many high end hotels (The Ritz, some Hiltonโs) do this extra step with their bed sheets.
Pro tip- if you have a mother or family member still around that knows how to iron and starch sheets, ask that for part of a holiday or birthday gift. The soothing, expert hand of a freshly laundered and heavy starched bed sheet will give you the sleep of your lifetime and make you want to cry from love and happiness.
I'm 28 and had no clue starching was no longer a thing. Maybe I'm older than I thought. I starch my husband's work clothes. I've tried starched sheets, but I fucking hated it.
I can see why people wouldnโt like it. If youโre using 100% cotton sheets the sheets wonโt envelop you like they would naturally fall across the body. They sort of sit on top and makes it feel kind of like a tarp. But if itโs the dead of winter and youโve got a thermal between the sheets and the duvet and whatever other blankets youโve got on top, it really gives a โclean feelingโ of warmth rather than a stuffy one. Alternatively, in the middle of balls-out-humidity-August, summer sheets with a simple quilt will wick away the sweat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basically something that makes your shirt stiffer and less likely to crinkle. The more you have, the longer it lasts. Also, the less comfortable.
Fun fact, often livestock expo people will get their jeans starched to hell so they can still look professional during auction (dirt won't stick as much)
Same. My dad died recently and thereโs a lot of condolences and eggshell walking. The people who helped me most were the ones who wanted me to reach out, reached out to me, or were simple people we had to deal with for the process who were very straightforward-no-bullshit people. I probably would have even smirked at that response.
Don't worry about it. People say awkward stuff in those situations. My mother passed away a few months ago and as I am handling her business I've had more than one business person try to express sympathy upon being informed and come up with "I apologize for your mom's death."
Ohhh DAMN, haha, that's great.. thanks for linking it. Three people saying the same thing, I knew there was a reference I wasn't getting. What's it from?
So the only time I ever heard "I'm sorry for your loss" growing up was cops and doctors saying it on shows like NYPD Blue and ER, and so I always thought of it as like a Thing That Official People Say when they have to say something to console you for a dead family member or whatever.
Like an "I'm sorry for the inconvenience" for the bereaved.
I guess it's just a matter of English semantics. "Sorry for your loss" or "Sorry for the loss of your loved one" seems very similar to me. If someone said "Sorry for the death of your loved one" I wouldn't think twice about it.
Yes... it is a matter of meaning in the English language.
The words "sorry," and "apology" have distinct meanings. "Sorry" is used to express sympathy, whereas "apology" is used to refer to an expression of regret for harm done; it's a taking of responsibility.
Saying you're sorry for someone's loss, therefor, is sympathizing with their suffering, whereas apologizing for someone's mother's death is regretfully expressing that that death is your fault.
It's the difference between "I'm sorry," and "I killed your mother. I'm sorry."
You are absolutely right and I think that is where maybe some people get confused.
* "I'm sorry" can be used instead of "I apologize" if you have some responsibility in the harm or inconvenience. But if you aren't directly involved, "I'm sorry" or "My condolences" is better. This expresses sympathy without implying you were responsible.
* You can also apologize by proxy for someone else you are close to or feel responsible for. If you bring your child or your drunk friend over and he breaks a vase, you can apologize for him.
Certainly, but you are either in association with them or know of their sentiments in a better state ... or are pretending. You're not apologizing there as an outsider, but as someone sort of acting-by-proxy as them/it for the purposes of the apology.
Such as, say, a waiter apologizing for a mistake the kitchen made. They may not be responsible, but both are agents of the business, and so one is apologizing, but for actions associated with them, but not their own.
More times than not, my fellow over polite friends will exclaim that itโs not my fault when I say โIโm sorryโ in response to something they have said, like an anecdote or tale of woe and tribulation.
Thatโs when I respond that itโs a sorry of sympathy not responsibility. Feel free to steal it. Itโs quick and easy to say and remember, no need for a duel of politeness. :-)
(( Yโall have seen the old overly polite chipmunk cartoons, right? ))
That may be the case, but, as a native English speaker: That is what those words mean, and generally how they're used. It's something you're more likely to know implicitly than explicitly. You may think they mean the same thing, but would you ever apologize to someone for something that wasn't your fault, or that they didn't think was your fault? No. You'd say you were sorry.
As a native English speaker, I say "I apologize" for things that are not my fault all the time. I do it when I want to appear more formal, as in speaking to a customer/client/etc.
I think this may vary from region to region, culture to culture, between socioeconomic statuses, etc. There is an incredibly large native English population out there and there will inevitably be differences among speakers.
In that context, you usually do have some fault as a representative of the company you are working for. If it's for something distinct from the actions or decisions of the business or yourself, you're using the word incorrectly.
I'm going with no, and I wish people would stop appealing to that fact as a defense.
mtm5891 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:40:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apologizing for the death makes it seem like you were responsible for it. Saying โIโm sorry for your lossโ is the more socially acceptable, less murdery phrase youโre looking for.
It's sort of fine, but English speakers tend to be euphemistic about death when talking to loved ones of the deceased. They "passed on", "I'm sorry for your loss", "they've gone to a better place", etc.
h3lblad3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:23:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry for your family member's contribution to soylent green."
Not grammatically incorrect, but it sounds weird (to this native English speaker). When someone is grieving, we usually refer to it as a "loss" instead of a "death". Of course, it is technically a death, but that word sounds harsh in this context. So you could say, "I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one" of just, "I'm sorry for your loss".
True. I went to visit my mother when she was on her deathbed. A few days after she passed, I flew back home to the country where I now live. One of my coworkers knew my mother was ill, but that was it. She asked me how my mother was. I took a great amount of joy at her discomfort to my response. I said deadpan, โDead.โ
10/10 would do again.
Seiche ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:37:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah plus some people are just a bit dumb about it.
"Gee Karen, she had stage IV cancer a year ago, how'd you think she's doing?"
I was talking to a co-worker about my grandfather's old cake-making things, and how I wished I'd brought some with me when we moved. Talked up a few cakes I did, and the cakes he had done, etc. She asks, "Where does he live?"
My immediate response? "He doesn't."
Her expression was amazing. Somehow, we both wound up laughing our asses off at my blasรฉ af response. Mentioned it again a few weeks later and we almost got going again.
The โstill funny and maybe inappropriateโ part reminds me of when my sisters and I were at the hospice house with our mother. Our mother was no longer responsive at that point, and we knew that it would be days, maybe even hours, before she was gone. The hospice social worker asked us about our motherโs religious preferences.
Our oldest sister had been our parentsโ caretaker in the end (and our grandparents, too), so she was kind of the spokeswoman for these things. She bit her lip and tilted her head; you could see her thinking. Then she said, โWell, she likes Jesus.โ
My other sister and I just cracked up. And still laugh over it.
I have done that. Some business called and asked if they could speak to her. "No." Awkward pause. Finally they cautiously ask why not. "She's dead." Oh... um...
Yeah, it takes a few times to figure out the best way to handle those. I did customer service for a cable company and closing out accounts for deceased customers was my least favorite thing. You feel for the person on the other end of the line but it can be hard to convey the sincerity in an interaction like that, so it usually just ends up turning kind of awkward.
Rikolas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:27:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for your loss. I lost mine a few months ago too
I apologize for your mom's death."
Never had this one myself! Did have a few conversations that went:
"So how's your weekend?"
"Not the best, repainting my mum's house ready to sell it"
A funeral is the only time "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" don't mean the same thing.
-Demetri Martin
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone came up to my dad in town and said "jesus, what's with the face, who died?" just kidding around. Dad was on his way into the suit shop to buy a suit for his mother's funeral. Just said "my mother" and watched his friend die inside.
If it makes you feel any better, my grandmother died last April, and a tree branch knocked out power at the funeral home. When I got there, my mom, still a little in shock at seeing her mom dead, just says "The lights went out."
It took all I had not to respond with "Yeah, that's why we're here."
I was a bartender in Florida and has a similar situation. A regular came in on a pretty slow night and she was sitting out on the patio with her beer, looking deep in thought. I walked by while taking out the trash and said in a soft, creepy voice "you... are so alone". Upon returning inside, I discovered her dad had passed away that morning and she was now bawling her eyes out. I could not apologize enough and ended up playing some of his favorite Stones songs on the guitar at his funeral.
Why would you even whisper something like that? I can't imagine that being perceived in a positive manner in ANY logical way. That's rough. And weird. Good on you for trying to make them feel better though.
Yeeeeeah... I don't know. Saying "oh... you are SO alone.." to someone even if you're somewhat acquainted without saying ANYTHING ELSE and just walking away, almost sounds like you're rubbing it in. lol
I'm sure you learned your lesson on that one, I guess maybe everyone slips up sometime. I've got a few stories but they ain't customer-employee type situations.
I'm picturing you apologising profusely; the desperateness slowly increasing in intensity. All the while your body is morphing into Keith Richards as a guitar materializes from thin air, the soft strumming of notes slowly coalescing into a steady progression of chords. Your voice starts to sing:
๐ถ"...I saw her today on the patio
A glass of beer in her hand..."๐ต
FO_Knows ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 04:55:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw her today on the patio,
A glass of beer in her hand.
I knew she had lost her daddio,
So I played songs from his favorite band.
You canโt always get what you want.
You canโt always get what you want.
You canโt always get what you want.
But if you try sometime,
Youโll find...
You get what you need.
Jiannies ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha She asked me if I would play them on the saxophone but I offered the guitar because I could learn the songs in time and had another guy that could play behind me.
I'm sorry, a daughter got her frequent bartender to play multiple Rolling Stone songs on guitar at her fathers funeral?
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 05:48:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I apologise for your lack of belief.
At least in smaller UK towns/villages it really isn't unusual for a barkeeper to be genuinely close with the regulars and their families. It's sadly decreasingly common these days, but the local pub traditionally serves as something of a social hub. You take the family there for a meal each weekend, down a few with your mates, drown your sorrows, and maybe even host events like wedding receptions and wakes there. Small wonder a good bartender can be considered all but family, in many cases they've seen you grow up.
Something similar happened to me. Woman brought in her dead husbands clothes to be dry cleaned before she donated all of them. When I told her they would be ready in two days, she snapped at me that โheโs dead so thereโs no rushโ.
Sounds like that was out of grief and anger for him being gone, otherwise she just numbly would have said okay, because you said something you usually say to a customer every day. Obviously she was hurting so much she couldn't stand to have his clothes around reminding her of him, and wanted them dry cleaned first so that they would be fine representations of her love and respect for him. She was clearly still hurting and had her mind on the fact that he was gone and not coming back, and that remark, though uncalled for and nit your fault in the slightest, wasn't personal and obviously was coming from a deeply painful place. I hope you didn't feel bad thinking you did anything wrong, because you didn't.
Same here, I'd have probably laughed at that. When my grandad was in hospital, dark humour was pretty much all that kept us going.
One of the days we were in the hospital, me, my mum, my nan and my two uncles were in the waiting room of the ICU (he was unresponsive and on life support) with another family. For context my mum's text ringtone was Yoda saying "Message from the dark side there is."
Someone texted her, and my nan said something along the lines of "oh, it's grandad trying to get in touch with you!"
We all burst out laughing, but the other family in there looked absolutely horrified, which, honestly, made us laugh more.
Bit fucked up but sometimes thats just how you cope
That's better than saying "I recommend nothing. No starch. Don't even get the suit cleaned. He's dead, what's the point?"
F0MA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my Dad over a decade ago and although I don't know how I would've reacted then, I sure as heck think it's hilarious now. Hopefully after all this time, she thinks it's funny, too, if she didn't back then.
rs7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer about how it gives me joy to watch people struggle with umbrellas turning inside out in the wind, only to realize they were holding one.
I was pouring her coffee at the time and didnโt notice. She was a good sport about it, but I was pretty embarrassed.
Honestly if you had said that to me I probably would have started laughing uncontrollably and looked like a crazy person. Sometimes things like that are just what you need when dealing with stressful situations like that.
I used to work in car insurance, and all the worst transactions were dealing with estate transfers after someone had passed. They know it's going to be weird. They didn't mind.
MrOaiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have found it funny, even at the time my father passed away. You donโt lose your sense of humor even when youโre sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have lost my shit if that happened to me, gallows humor is bliss.
b1rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At my first job in a deli as a teenager, I took a catering order from a customer who mentioned that it was the food for her fatherโs funeral/wake.
At the end, I somehow just blanked and went into autopilot and started to say the generic sign-off I was taught, before I realized it wasnโt appropriate in this situation. Itโs been years now, so I donโt remember the exact words, but it was something to the effect of โThank you for your business and I hope to see you again...for your next...uh...when you need food for...umm...special events.โ
Afterwards one of my coworkers said, โYou should have just gone all-in and said, โHope to see you when your mom dies!โโ
How DARE you assume he wonโt be moving around much! What if she is a witch and plans to resurrect him for some kind of fucked up tea party? As a mother, Iโm offended.
Amysea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:26:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
iron the suit he was buried in.
Seriously thought she dug him up to have the suit ironed for a few seconds
Amysea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also, idk why that didn't quote. Apparently can't Reddit tonight
While working in a deli, a customer asked to try the Polish ham. She said she didn't care for it and would take some black forest ham.
"Ah, once again the Germans triumph over the Polish."
Turns out she was Polish. Oops.
It's a popular American pass-time, especially in the Chicago land area where they're a large community and many new arrivals work cheap with questionable quality work often inline with ghetto rigging.
Ty0005 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:50:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
MY great uncle used to tell me tons of Pollock jokes when o went visit him. This one reminded me of him
I've never seen Pollock or Pollack used as the spelling for the slur. I've only seen Polak and I grew up in Chicago. It's not even pronounced the way Polak is.
Your welcome. A couple friends of mine once binge-read Polish jokes for an hour. The two times someone has mentioned they are Polish around us we have had to commit facial suicide.
Although, do you know how many Polish jokes there actually are?
If they're immigrants back from the Eastern Bloc days, they might appreciate these:
How do you make a Polish sandwich?
First you cut the meat coupon, then you put it between the bread coupons.
Why did Jaruzelski [the last Communist head of state in Poland] always like to sit in the front row of the theater?
He wanted to have the people at his back for once.
I don't get the second one, Actually to be honest, I don't understand the whole concept of Polish jokes. I would understand if I heard them coming from Europeans, but like why are there so many? There's enough to have their own genre of jokes. It would make sense if we were European, but I've only read them on sites that have a primarily English speaking audience (reddit obviously being the main one), or from non-Europeans. I just don't get it. Maybe i'm just bad at jokes?
The joke for the second one is that Jaruzelski was an incredibly unpopular leader, so the only way for the people to be at his back (I.e. supporting him) is if they were literally behind him.
As for th popularity of Polish jokes, I assume it's because most Americans have German ancestry.
There's tons of jokes around the world in which a certain group of people is depicted as very stupid. Another variant you may be more familiar with is the "dumb Blonde" joke, but almost every culture seems to have some variation - the French like to call the Swiss slow, Germans like to make jokes about how stupid East Frisians are, the English claim the Irish are thick, Indians make fun of Sikhs, etc. It doesn't even have to relate to ethnicity or gender - there was a somewhat popular variant of this kind of Joke in Germany specifically targeted at drivers of a particular type of car.
Horkrux ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:29:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is something I (polish parents) or my parents would certainly laugh about.
A whole other deal are some salesman here in germany.
One car salesman told my parents "don't worry the security system is amazing, no polish idiot will step near it"
Another told me on (calling about the electricity contract for my grandma) "and don't worry, if your grandmother has to move before 2 years (contract was 2 years minimum) and proves it she can get out of it sooner and not pay the electricity of those polish guys who move in after her" the way he emphasized "polish" was as if he was talking about trash.
Both times me and my parents just sorta stand there stunned and just left/hung up.
baqarah ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im half Polish and half German, I laughed so hard I broke my forehead on a cabinet.
Sinius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a business story but I was playing GW2 while talking to the guy who introduced me to the game. I joked how the norn were anti-Semitic for, essentially, hunting down the followers of another "god" (even though said followers are effectively evil) without really knowing what anti-Semitic meant.
He questioned my remark upon which I google it and found out it meant prejudice against Jewish people. Woops. So, trying to be funny I go and compare the Sons of Svanir to jews, saying they have the beards and the money.
After the guy told me my description of jews came from nazi propaganda and told me I was being anti-Semitic for making that regard, I went "Yeah... I'm a norn!" like some sort of twat...
Turns out the guy I was talking to is an ethnic jew.
If it were Krakus ham, that stuff is awesome. I miss the delis from my hometown. I don't want to buy a whole can of it, which is the only way I can get it here.
Served a customer a salad and was called back almost immediately to the table, there was a cockroach in the salad (it was grossssss!). I stupidly said, "you didn't order that did you?!"
Reminds me of an amazing but inappropriate joke that my wife made to one of her instructors in community college.
She had a horrible class with a way too snooty instructor that taught his class very early and was constantly off topic. One day she fell asleep during his lecture while in the front row. This wouldn't have been that bad but she also had to talk to him afterward about something.
She talks to him after class and he remarks "Did you enjoy your nap?" and she responds "No. There was someone talking the entire time."
He didn't laugh, but when I heard the story, I did. Still think it is hilarious.
Years of serving experience tell me that would go over with some people, not with others. Some people lose their minds over a ruined meal so making light of it infuriates them. And as far as foreign objects in my food, roaches would be pretty high on the ick factor.
Xuvial ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:26:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people lose their minds over a ruined meal
It's not the ruined meal as much as the thought of having accidentally eaten a cockroach. Just reading this gave me the shudders and made about 0.001% more paranoid about eating outside.
Xuvial ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well...ultimately in the food industry we're placing our faith in people handling our food well, and I'm sure that 99.999% of them do. Otherwise we'd be seeing a shit-ton more food-poisoning cases.
But how does a cockroach make it into a salad without anyone noticing? At which part of the salad-making process did it appear? How clean was that kitchen?? Argh, I'm going crazy thinking about it.
blong36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some restaurants get prepackaged lettuce that's already supposed to have been washedโ it's supposed to be ready to serve. Sometimes those bugs are in that salad avg nobody notices because the colors are similar.
To clarify- I agree. Iโve worked in different locations of the same chain steakhouse for 14 years and I have never seen a roach in the restaurant, let alone in peopleโs food. What I meant is, some people will lose their shit if you put the wrong topping on their baked potato. You really have to walk a fine line with joking around when there is a fuck up, no way in hell would I make that joke about a roach in their food.
Ya know, used to be I would think it was utterly preposterous that someone would somehow end up with a roach in their salad that actually managed to make it all the way to table...
Then I made the mistake if reading that "health inspector" thread awhile back.
Have since stopped eating Chinese food from anywhere but Panda Express (you literally see their freezers, and cooking area), and am no longer naive in regards to roach likelihood...
glepemb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:13:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would appreciate the joke, but at the same time if the server is that casual about a roach in the food, bugs around the workplace is probably fairly common. I'd be a bit concerned.
This reminds me of an indecent when I was taking classes to be a medical assistant. One of the students got Chinese for lunch from a place around the corner, and it had a roach in it. (I had a much worse experience involving "rice" that was mostly maggots, but I digress.)
She called the restaurant to complain and they asked her what kind of bug it was. The girl was livid and shouted at them, "What kind of bug is on special?!"
Cracks me up every time I think of it.
[deleted] ยท 1356 points ยท Posted at 00:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Since youโre getting downvotes Iโm just gonna go ahead and let you know itโs a reference to โWhat We Do in the Shadows.โ Itโs a fantastic movie.
Basically, hubby and I picked up takeout and came home to watch a movie. I happened to look down at my fork and noticed that my rice seemed to have something wrong with it.
It didn't take long to realize I was looking at a maggot. At this point I still had "food" in my mouth so I quickly spit that out. I would say that 35% or so of the "rice" was maggots. And they were alive.
Nothing came of it. We didn't raise a stink about it. We are much more discerning of where we get food now though. I'm all for bugs as protein, but if I don't order them they shouldn't be in my food.
Arenโt maggots just baby flies or something? As in, no legs to move around with? Basically Iโm asking wouldnโt they have been born in the rice? After it was cooked and kept in a hot plate or something?
Doubtful that they would just be in the rice. As previously pointed out, there should have been some type of smell. I think they probably had a huge amount of fried rice sitting there, pre-made. Also, maggots can move pretty well, and have been known to move clothes and body parts on cadavers.
If it was old rice, it happens. I think its moths, not flies, who just needed a dry space to lay eggs.
Its happened to me before. I noticed before they got close to my mouth though.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:58:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happens often with rice for some reason. I guess they can eat the rice but it doesn't decompose since it's dry? And they look similar so people are less likely to notice the maggots mixed in with their rice? Who knows.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:13:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't maggots killed when rice is cooked?
Rice is frequently infested by moth larvae, they get killed during the cooking process and are completely harmless. You have probably eaten them without knowing lots of times.
But living maggots in rice? That's a whole different level of disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why they would be alive in the cooked rice. But the thought of having eaten larvae makes me wanna vom
The first time I had already eaten a decent amount. The second time I knew before I opened the container that it had turned maggot-y, because when I picked the container up it... squished.
I don't eat oatmeal anymore.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Redebo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, totally. Chinese take out places are widely known for their specificity when it comes to proper pesticide usage. Legend has it that it stems from their Buddhist roots.
jrm2007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Understood. Sometimes people say "antidote" instead "anecdote" -- your misuse of a similar sounding word was like this although I have never seen this specific thing before.
I went to a Chinese place with my roommate and a friend when I was a student and got a bug in my food. They brought me new food and it had a hair in it. They said "we won't charge you" I said "no shit".
Thanks. I always imagine the possible horrors of realizing the rice in my chinese/halal take-out tray was actually dead fried maggots. Appreciate this. lol
I mean to be fair, what kind of bug is important information for the restaurant.
sanna43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once served a drink at a bar, and there was a small roach in it. I took it back to the bar, and calmly told the bartender "There's a roach in my drink". She didn't look at me or answer, but kept her head down, took the glass, and made me a another drink. I think she was afraid to look up. Made me giggle just the same.
Keyra13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you meant incident? Also my sympathies for both of you. Blargh
I delivered a fly unknowingly in a salad once and when the guy pointed it out, I casually said โthought you could use the extra proteinโ and pretended to just keep going. When I turned around and came back we both laughed like hell and I got him fries instead.
Long term exposure to Customer Service can lead to difficulty forming coherent thoughts, trouble completing simple tasks, and a general disregard for wanting to live. Consult your doctor if you experience these or any other unexpected side effects.
Cedira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's when there's more than one of them (โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
hayrenae ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:42:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oooh funny if said right haha
sanna43 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:37:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to say this when we were kids and would find a bug in our milk. It was either, "He won't eat much", or "You could use a little more protein". I always figured it was an army thing.
aard_fi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:00:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always using this, and I never came near an army.
My friend Hannah (that's actually her name. Was going to backspace it but thought, eh, what the hell) was serving some douche a mocha and a fly landed in the whipped cream. When he wasn't looking, she just put chocolate drizzle on it and handed it to him.
RoMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You delivered a fly? Not many midwives for insects these days, nice to see its not a lost art
Bahahah I saw a review on Yelp for a TGIF where the girl ordered a martini at the bar and found an ant in her cup. When she pointed it out to the bartender he decided to be a smartass and told her he didn't charge her extra for it lmaooo
csonny2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:21:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I went so Sizzler (for the unaware, in Australia Sizzler is/was a buffet restaurant, known for it's signature cheese toast, and terrible hygiene) for a friends dinner party in HS.
I quietly mentioned to a staff member that there was a cockroach in the salad bar. to which they replied:
Again? Gah, it's a constant battle!
I just walked away.... That place is closed now...
i actually had a bug in my tables salad on saturday they handled it very well and didnt even expect for the bill to be adjusted but i stupidly said to them "Oh, thats fucking gross" in front of their kids who they were trying to hide the bug from cause the kids already ate the salad and they didnt want them freaking out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After apologizing, etc... turn it into a joke. "Here's your new salad. I told the cook to hold the bugs"
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working in a library, and a couple (they're like 50 years old) comes in. You know the type, they're teasing each other. He says something to me like "Well, we're only here for her, 'cause I can't even read!" with a big grin.
So, you know, I thought he was joking.
Found out after making my own joke to him later that, nope, he wasn't. He was actually illiterate and I had made fun of him for it.
jentrxm ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 06:02:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when they say something and they totally make it sound like a joke, but it isn't.
I was working in a doctor's office and one of my duties was administering vaccines (to adults, usually for overseas travel).
With our travelers we'd load them up with like 4 shots at once, and we'd make them stay for 15 minutes to make sure they didn't have any sudden onset reactions.
We'd swing by their room every 3 to 4 minutes and see how they were doing.
On one of my checks I asked this guy how he was doing and he gave me a smile, a little laugh, and said "Oh I'm totally about to pass out." It 100% sounded like a joke, which a lot of patients made.
I laughed as well and told him I'd be back shortly.
Motherfucker was actually about to pass out. Which he then did. I found him unconscious on our damn floor.
Djak345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:21 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve noticed this too! I used to work a drive thru and someone came back, ordered a drink, and came up to the window. He was a regular and I said โoh you again?โ He pays me for the drink and says โI actually ordered this but I got this. Can I get a free sandwich?โ I thought it was a joke that he was trying to jokingly finesse a sandwich.
to be fair, you should make fun of illiterate people
[deleted] ยท 11800 points ยท Posted at 00:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After the standard customer bitch fest, ending with "And I am never shopping here again!" I gave her a smile and said, "Thank you, we sure would appreciate that." She stood there with her mouth open while I moved on to the next customer.
libwitch ยท 3523 points ยท Posted at 01:15:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was one of our standards at a store I worked at. "I am never shopping here again!"
Thank you so much! Have a great day!
...No, really take you PITA out of here right now!
It was pretty common for us to get complaints when I worked in retail of the "I'll ruin your reputation / never shopping here again / calling the news, writing my congressman, etc."
My canned response was "Uh-huh, see you next week." Because 90% of the time we did.
Same. I had a guy yelling and screaming because we charged him $3 extra each time because he kept ordering double vodka cocktails. Leaves in a huge huff yelling that he's never coming back and telling his friends to do the same. Guess who was back the next night with a different group of friends?
Charge for the extra shot, of course. But some clubs' charges for extra shots are kind of ridiculous. When the extra shot is more than half the price of the entire cocktail, I would be mildly annoyed by the pricing structure at least. If it's not written anywhere, doubly so. Seen all of that.
If it's written somewhere I can only blame myself for paying it
You can get a decent cocktail in Dublin for โฌ10-12. A measure of bottom shelf spirits is at least โฌ4.50 ( and there are strict laws on pricing for alcohol) so I'd expect to have to pay at least that to add in anything extra.
entenkin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:04:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How does a guy like that have two different groups of friends?
My recent favorite was "I'm going to bad-mouth you on Facebook!"
I said "Ok! Sorry about that, have a nice day!" The lady literally hung her mouth open and then stomped out of the store like a child while my cashier's tried hiding their laughs into their hands.
Spoiler alert! She didn't say anything on Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:26:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a drop-in, a guy was pissed off at me for some reason (probably had to kick him out for being drunk) and as he's yelling at me he shouts that he knows when I get off work and he'll be waiting by the doors to kick my ass.
Without thinking I just told him "kay, see you then" as I closed the door.
I just received a letter that told me that based on my complaint to my county supervisor, our local animal control will have someone dedicated to scheduling spay/neuter operations for animals who cannot be operated on at the time of adoption.
I just wanted to get my own issue resolved, but it seems I became a successful community activist.
GoabNZ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:55:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll have your job for this!"
Yeah.... no you won't. We recognise that there are some troublesome customers out there who are simply unreasonable despite the best effort of the employee. We don't get in trouble simply because you complain about us
I do that on the regular on the phone. I warn them twice if they scream or swear at me, then say โ i hear you have chosen to keep screaming instead of finding a solution together, i am hanging up now, have a nice day.โ
(Company policy is you warn them and can then hang up)
aescula ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always get those and I never really respond to it with little more than the silence I usually give to complaints. Though I'm never threatened by having to deal with one less asshole.
I get this all the time in retail pharmacy. Today I had a guy get mad cause he didnโt have his power of attourney papers for his wife, which he legally needs to get her prescription history where I work, and he was like โfine Iโll just go to another pharmacy.โ Okay? They wonโt have her history there, and even if they did theyโd still need the same proof we do.
gumgum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah then there are customers like me who not only do NOT EVER go back, but truly do inform everyone I know that the service at that store sucks.
There are stores I have not stepped foot in in years.
emosy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:47 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
which ones? you didn't tell us so you kinda contradicted yourself just there...
gumgum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Completely irrelevant to the US as I am not in the US. You wouldn't know which stores I am referring to.
And how I am contradicting myself is beyond me. Clearly your grasp of grammar and construction far exceeds mine.
At the pizza shop I first worked out I had some really awesome managers. They were of the mindset of preferring to have less customers than have the really shitty ones.
We had a pretty decent black list at our store which got circulated to nearby stores if they were bad enough and through State and competitor stores sometimes. Really respected them for actually standing up for their staff, though it's an experience I've only had at one other place in the 14 years since.
I worked at a supermarket and some lady told me โI am never shopping here againโ and I kind of laughed because I thought it was a joke, like how do you not go food shopping again? She was not happy.
I hope she's willing to quadruple her food budget. All I ever see for delivery of grocery items on amazon is the expensive stuff, like $8 gallons of milk.
That's cheaper than milk is just buying it at the store here... And you have that option for a gallon on Amazon? How cheap is the milk in stores where you live?
I work in an ER and a lady was super pissed at us one night. I was walking her out, seriously to make sure she didnโt assault any staff on the way out, and she yelled at me โIโM NEVER COMING BACK TO THE ER AGAIN!!!โ
I just looked right at her and said โOh! Lucky you! I hope thatโs true!โ We both knew what I meant, and both knew she could report me to my boss as much as she wanted and I could never get nailed for it.
If it's a small town, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the only close place. Like one of my friends lives in a small town in the midwest, and there's only one grocery store in the town, otherwise it'd be like a 30-40 minute drive each way to get to the next closest.
Nowadays, a lot of them do. Just one bigass supermarket that killed all the independent stores. Typically a Walmart, but in some places is a King Soopers or a Safeway or something.
German here, many small villages of like 500-1000 people have supermarkets here. Not huge ones, but still. Some don't, but any village that is connected to several other villages which don't have markets will have one.
Aldi and some other pharmacies donโt carry very much or carry much variety.
She was too much of a snooty rich person to go to Walmart.
Honestly, Publix tries to have the best customer service ever and if she got mad at our โcrappyโ customer service, she is not going to be pleased by anyone.
Whole Foods, Fresh Market, Farmers market, ect. is extremely expensive since its organic. There might be a possibility she shopped elsewhere, but overall she is going to spend a lot more money.
Firate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but similar-ish. I used to work at Dunkin Donuts, and of course unhappy customers would hit us with the โIโm never coming here again!โ or โIโm going to the Dunkin down the street!โ
The owners of our building also owned nineteen other stores in the surrounding location, so good luck, youโre filling their pockets either way...
When I was a teenager I worked at one of the three grocery stores in town. We banned a woman for being ridiculously cruel to cashiers and baggers (she made me cry). Turns out she had been banned from every other store in the area as well. She must have had to drive thirty minutes out of her way to shop somewhere that hadn't banned her yet.
[deleted] ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 06:53:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go to if a supermarket person pisses me off is to walk out without paying for my cart, but leave it there completely full. Have fun putting all that shit away.
Deveru ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:34:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool. I get paid hourly. lol
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how you have a "go-to", where grocery store employees are pissing you off so often. Do you have so many issues this happens a lot?
I don't know, I go in, I find my things, interact with the cashier politely, check out and leave. If it's a persistent issue maybe you're going about it wrong.
It's not like stores with complete idiots don't exist. Most likely small stores though. Known one where the employees all talk behind your back, including the owner, who is one of them. I actually went there just once and silently stopped going there (without announcing it loudly first)
All of the refrigerated stuff left in a cart has to get thrown away, and there's usually a department that handles sorting stuff left in carts and stuff collected from being laid down by lazy customers. The store I worked for had a full cart worth of stuff from every department, daily.
But the guy who upset you had a job to do and I guarantee his job wasn't putting your stuff back.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs usually not one guy. Just a long line and not enough cashiers, even though there is usually several other people there. I donโt know what the point is in not dealing with the crowd, but I donโt care and Iโm leaving.
If it's Walmart they tested heavily how long people would wait in line before being upset and made it so your wait on average is slightly under that threshold
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually Safeway. Sometimes Luckyโs. WholeFoods is always fine. Safeway is the worst.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Hire more staff and appropriately occupy the registers at the capacity required by demand to keep the lines down.
-I refuse to use the self checkout. Thatโs your job.
-I refuse to wait in line for more then 2-3 people in front of me unless itโs really slammed.
If itโs Friday at 6 and you have 2 registers open and a line going down the aisle and 6 other jackasses doing anything but dealing with the crowd Iโm out.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:07 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe? If my problem that I expect excellent service then yes. And I like to think I make that just a little bit the stores problem when I decide to leave and go to another store.
I had a customer scream that (over the phone to my assistant manager) a few nights ago, I screamed back, "I sure as hell hope to god you keep that promise!" It's part of a much longer story involving him harrassing myself, my coworkers, and pretty much every other young girl/woman that works customer service in our town. He's banned from the store now.
Working at McDonald's, whenever people said that I'd just think, "This restaurant earns more than your entire annual salary in around a week, nevermind the other three restaurants in the city, so why would anyone here give a crap about your maybe $10 a week of business? Even after a year you'd have given us less than half of what we make in a single HOUR of being open. All the company is missing out on is a slightly higher chance that they'll lose any employee, which would just be a minor inconvenience at worst"
I worked at a store once where to get a return you had to go to the specific department to get a return slip then take it to the front cash. One lady did NOT like this, she went on a huge tirade about how it was a hassle and it was her first and last time buying something in the store. Without thinking I said โWell youโve never really bought anything because you returned the item so...โ Her angry/aghast/confused face was priceless.
A lady was cussing me out because we didn't have the orange juice she wanted. I apologized profusely, and told her to have a great rest of her day. She yelled. I said it again. She said, "Quit saying that!" I responded with: "Oh! I'm sorry...well, Have a great rest of your day!! Thanks for leaving!!"
A few years back, some sad excuse of a woman loudly exclaimed, "I'M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!!!" and I immediately smiled the biggest smile I had and went, "Promise??"
bestem ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:19:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer who was always telling me that our competitor's prices for a service we offered were less than ours. I knew the competitor's prices were the same or more expensive than ours, so I'd tell him "Fine, go there next time." Unfortunately, he never did.
Dahvood ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:31:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling ipod touches back when they were super popular. I had a guy come in and try to buy one, but we had sold out. He got all worked up about it and started shouting about how he was going to sue us. I told him "Okay, have fun with that", then sidestepped a bit to make eye contact with the next customer. He just walked out, it was great.
I always tell the people who threaten to sue that all further communication will have to take place through are legal department and give them the number for head office. They always seem so shocked and offended.
That's like something that happened to my roommate. A customer was pissed off about something (from the story, it sounded like it was fair for her to be pissed off, but she was overreacting). She then said "I've been shopping here for 15 years without issue, but I'm never coming here again!" So my roommate leaned in and said "Well, I'm very sorry that in 15 years, you've had one bad experience. Have a nice day."
There was a woman that came into work and bought a 12oz 4pk of sour ale for $15.99 and became irate after she got home and drank it all because it cost so much. She called in and complained because she thought she saw another price even though my manager explained to her why it was so costly. The process to make a sour is more difficult for a brewery and on top of that they sell it to us and we only mark it up about 15%.
So she called. I answered. She explained she wanted a refund. I told her if she brings in the 4pk I'll give her a refund and I asked for her name to verify the purchase and she said it wasn't relevant. I remembered who she was and told her she could come in when the manager was here. She told me she wanted me to do the refund now. I told her I wasn't authorized to do that over the phone. She told me she would NEVER be coming back and I should feel bad for working for a scummy company who charges outrageous prices (blame the craft beer market, it's oversaturated with variety). I tell her to have a nice day. She comes in every other day (still hot as hell) and every exchange is soured by that one conversation.
I used to respond by saying "bribing me isn't going to get you anything".
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:10:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Daaamn!
Reapr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:57:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the owner of a small business and was working the till while employees were on break - customer comes in demanding some or other refund, I checked, yep, she can get a refund. And start getting everything together.
At this point I think I kinda took the wind out of her sails as she expected a fight and me agreeing readily kinda deflated her - so she went on bitching while I was counting out her money
"Because if you don't HELP me RIGHT NOW I will take this HIGHER"
That kinda made me lose count because my first instinct was to say, "Lady the only person higher is God"
"Oh please don't go we value you so much we'd go down on our knees and lick your pinky toe?"
If a customer is saying that I'd probably just open the front door. Unless you run a tiny shop, otherwise one customer wouldn't mean much, nor would the "potential customers" who wouldn't be going anyway, regardless of the comment on your shop.
I love how customers think this is such a wounding blow. You're literally one of hundreds of customers I serve per day. You will not leave an impact that is in any way significant.
I had a customer get mad when he found out our hot mac n' cheese came in frozen.
He walked out the door saying "I'm going to write about this in my blog."
Dude. The only thing in our store that doesn't come in frozen is chicken and the turkey. Even the soup, fish, and meatloaf come in frozen.
cayal3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"And I am never shopping here again
Don't even know why people say this. Do they think Joe Cashier is going to give a shit?
People do that at my work, they shit on the product and I am like "and?". It's not my product, I don't care.
This one always got me when I used to work at a bank, and it was always some random lady with $213 in her checking account and nothing else, as if withdrawing this account was going to topple this bank.
I never get why people think this will mean anything in a retail environment. It is not like they are single handedly funding the place. This only works if you are like an investor in a company or some shit. Anytime a customer said that we just told them to have a nice day.
I've said that to a lady who was insanely high maintenance after the new manager said I was in charge of dealing with her. The problem was that she was Indian and we worked at an Indian restaurant. Some might know why that is a HUGE no-no (they do, in fact all know each other). She came into the restaurant and REAMED my manager. He came up to me and said "Bro, what the fuck! You didn't tell me she was Indian!!"
I didn't care that much. She would insist on talking to every member of the staff every time she called to MAKE SURE the food didn't have mustard seeds in it. Nothing on the menu ever did, but she would still have delivery drivers come back to her house to pick up food, and redeliver a new order if she suspected the food had it. Different level.
I worked at a grocery store in high school as a bagger and we had this lady that would come in at the beginning of a sale period and look for the outdated sale signs from the last period. It was store policy to give the sale price as it was employee fault the old sale tag was still up.
Well one day she comes in and the manager on duty comes and gets me. Tells me to follow her around the store and remove any outdated sales tag from items she picks up. I've never seen someone so mad as she was walking the manager around the store so she could "show him the sale tags", only to find they were not there. She followed up with the "i'm never shopping here again!" line, but was back the next week looking for her juicy sales.
Something similar happened when I worked in retail. It was Christmas week, so we were very busy and working 12h shifts everyday on our foot, 7 days a week. I worked 84 hours total that week. Anyways, a customer was looking for black classic vans that were basically sold out everywhere and EVERYONE was looking for them. She complained about how everything was super expensive and without thinking I just blurted: "well, that's the way things are". She got super mad, called me out and left lol.
I got one of those and responded with "Promise?"
She scowled at me and left the store. Everyone clapped (jk nobody else heard it and I was actually pretty nervous afterwords)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My boss has answered that with "I know, you're banned." We don't always see eye to eye but I love that about him.
Arelkei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
naisuu
jet_10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers do that all the time and I'm just like, good, please don't.
Then some of those customers continue to come back after a week or so thinking we forgot but they act all nice now. Some others end up only ordering delivery and having a relative order for them lol
When we made a drive through order, the person who wraps the sandwich would bag it, and toss it across the restaurant to the drive through person to hand it out after they took the payment.
I was the drive through person and dropped the wrapped, and bagged sandwich. Without thinking, I just picked it up, and handed it to the customer.
He goes "you're seriously going to serve me that?"
My instant reaction was to ask "Oh, you saw that?"
He was not amused.
Shakith ยท 1929 points ยท Posted at 01:44:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar working in a sandwich shop where we used paper slips to take the order on and the persons name and then rubber band the slip back to the sandwich.
One day I dropped a slip and I caught it right as it was about to hit the floor and I slapped it onto the 100% wrapped sandwich without even thinking about it and then I put it out on the counter and called her name out.
Well apparently she had seen this happen and must have thought the slip touched the floor because she ripped the slip off threw in my face and said, "I don't need that garbage on my sandwich".
I wish I could say I even said something dumb but I was honestly speechless because just seconds before I'd been so excited about my awesome save. She stalked off and I never saw her again even though she'd been a regular before that.
10 years ago i was with my friend on lunch break and went to a Subway. the sandwich artist working alone appeared to be very tired. we watched as she used my fully assembled and unwrapped sandwich as a broom to sweep the crumbs on her cutting board into the perforated hole which lead to the trash underneath the counter. she used two hands and really dug in with her fingers. i ate the sandwich.
Kigarta ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:32:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a small shop I was taught to soak up the meat juice on the cutting board with the bread when making a sandwich to give the customer more.
My thought at the time was "this meets my fast-food expectations".
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:56:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People get SO MAD at fast food employees. Subway is basically the only fast food I eat, but I used to work with people with disabilities and my crew ate a lot of fast food. Damn, the customers in those places (and Subway)...they're terrible. People forget these places aren't "restaurants". They are "This shit will satisfy your mouth but it is not really keeping you alive in a meaningful way" troughs.
Some of the fucking shit people put on their Subway sandwiches...hurk
I worked there for almost 3 years and by far the two grossest things i have seen customers order was a teriyaki chicken sandwich covered in mayo and sweet onion sauce, and a turkey sandwich with LITERALLY have a bottle pf mayo on it!
When I get fast food I expect shit. I never have complained about a meal from fast food. Its like the standards are subpar to begin with. I just expect to be let down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't expect to be let down, but I never expect to be impressed. And mostly I expect indigestion, which is why my fast food diet begins and ends with Subway.
you maniac! I ordered a veggie delight. it's always some sort of melty cheese/meat/bread combo when drunk, you know that! what do vegans eat before they sleep at the end of a night out or worse, when they're hungover?
Yeah, that's just a spam bot. They crawl and find small, abandoned subreddits and post their crap, knowing there's no one to notice or remove the spam. It's exactly like an old, unused room acquiring dust and cobwebs over time.
zdakat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:15:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well itโs all about perception, weโre already a bit suspicious of cheap food but if we see something careless right in front of us it might push us over the edge.
fa7hom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:44:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People are germaphobes. Why would I care if a price of paper that goes on the outside of my wrapped sandwich touches the ground
Jimmy John's, Peachtree Industrial? I'm pretry sure I witnessed this! Haven't worked there in years, and now I want JJ again.
Kigarta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Going to assume the sandwich is wrapped simply because rubber is not a good taste and a paper receipt, floor touched or not, doesn't sound like much of a problem.
Was in line at Starbucks once. Lady in front of me orders some stupidly difficult drink. The barista grabbed a cup off the top, looked in it, turned it over the sink, then started to go make the drink.
The lady gets pissed. "What was that?"
Barista: "Oh, there was a drop of water in the cup."
Customer: "MAKE ME ANOTHER DRINK."
Barista calmly sets the cup down and makes another. In front of the rude customer lady I said, "I'll take that. It's only water and you guys probably have to inventory your cups."
The look on the barista's face was perfect. A mixture of relief and appreciation.
You're not wrong, but I'll just mention that when I had my stint at a fast food joint it was company policy that if it hit the ground, regardless of packaging, it was to be tossed.
[deleted] ยท 1057 points ยท Posted at 01:57:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if nobody dropped a sandwich every single day and then "toss" it into their backpack with that policy.
Leftover food, however... sometimes they're ok with that. Depends on the restaurant. Used to work at a Popeyes' Chicken & Biscuits, and that was their policy. Leftover chicken at the end of the night was free to take.
DJDomTom ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:18:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Places I worked didn't allow that cause ppl would make extra food at the end of the night to take home.
bizitmap ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is one of those "the rules should say you can't, but the management should look the other way if nobody's abusing the privilege" things.
Like obviously if I see way more mashed potatoes get made than are needed I'm gonna be suspicious, but if you have legit good employees and we have biscuits left have fun
Spot on. Management that were half way decent people know the kids make jackshit for wages, so they usually let staff snag a free meal at the end of the night in one way or another. Whether it is true leftovers or 'leftovers' as a result of a sudden influx of extra food made right before close, you buy a ton of employee respect and future cooperation for the price of basically nothing. It's a good way to manage if you have people who don't abuse your generosity.
I was poor and in college and working at a movie theater. My supervisor was rad and became a friend so he would often do this for me so Iโd end up carting home like 10 hot dogs and 10 pretzels some nights. Popped them in the freezer and I was golden.
I knew a couple of managers who were forced to discard perfectly cooked, within allowable time to serve patties by this popular burger chain. Reason: they make other branches look bad for having perfect record for consecutive months of no patty wastage.
My buddy once had a loss prevention manager say "Your markdowns are really low" (we mark things down as they approach sell by date so they didn't have to be tossed) "but we'd like to see your known losses be a little higher"
Like... you're seriously upset that they were rotating stock properly?!
gojaejin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Leftover food, however... sometimes they're ok with that. Depends on the restaurant.
In practice, it depends upon the employee, too. You don't write a policy that allows it, but the diligent night shift manager working two full-time jobs and barely feeding her family, you trust to eat write-off food for free. The lazy teenager trying to score as much stuff as possible for his buddies, doesn't even get a second chance.
Same here's couldn't serve one day hotdogs so we would split them at the end of the day. On days it got really busy and than died it was both awesome and shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work at KFC, and I can literally eat anything in the store as long as I write it down. And if it isn't on the list of stuff that needs to be written down (fries, potato wedges, cheese curds, etc.) then I can just take it, no questions asked.
I've taken "made wrong" orders out of the trash for dinner, back when I worked food. I didn't think it was too gross, it was completely wrapped and bagged. Plus, there was only paper in the trash, no gross stuff.
Had a policy at a chocolate factory I worked in. I worked the Halloween treats like (M&Ms), Twix bars, snickers etc. All Halloween sized. The machine I โoperatedโ would package 12 quantity of individual wrapped treats into a larger plastic bag - the one we all buy from grocery stores for Halloween.
Anyway, anything ripped open or not perfect was game to eat. On good days (M&M peanuts), every fourth bag was bad! The stomach pain...
True, but grocery stores have the same rules. I remember back when I worked at Safeway, my manager made me throw out all these perfectly good deli items because a customer changed their mind after they were packed up. I said "but there's homeless people out back that could eat this!" And he said "too bad."
dorkmax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its mostly a question of whether or not everyone is trustworthy. I work at a gas station that allows employees to eat leftovers.
I use to work for a pizza place and we may have messed up a pizza or two right before closing... luckily our night managers were chill and messed up pizzas too.
I used to clean the "dishes" at McDonald's when we swapped over from breakfast to lunch. Trays filled with food, English muffins, biscuits, everything...
I was supposed to throw it all away and chart it. It was charted, but it was also transformed into some of the most deliciously monstrous breakfast sandwiches you've ever seen. At 16 years old, working with a crew of mostly 16 year olds, we ate better working there than we did at home.
That's why you get creative with the ingredients at hand. Back line workers don't eat the menu items, they make shit up to suit them. Even if it was for a coworker, I'd put my own spin on it. Or add bacon, lots of bacon.
amberbmx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:38:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a grilled sub place for a bit over a year. Thatโs exactly what we did. We got free meals every day so weโd always experiment and come up with new creations to prevent getting sick of the same shit
Yeah I had several regulars that would come in while I was running around on my kitchen shift, and theyโd order something on the menu and in the machine have the server type โSoliterria Specialโ (well my real name obviously), and Iโd add or remove whatever I wanted. There was only once that someone didnโt like my meal, and that was because I put tomato on. She wasnโt even mad, just winked at me and said โNo rabbit food next time, yeah?โ
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:21:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at Dominoโs, and we had all the ingredients in the store to make cinnamon rolls.
Take some pan dough, stretch it out into a flat sheet, mix some of the butter oil with the cinnamon shake on, then slather all that on the dough. Pour a couple icing cups on there for some extra calories. Then roll it up, cut it, and lay them out in one of the aluminum pasta dishes. Send that through the oven, then flip it over and send it through again. Top with more cinnamon and icing.
At Hardees my boss would make donuts with the biscuit dough. When they still had fried chicken, we'd make mashed potato bowls with all kinds of stuff in them. On cold days, we'd make chilli in the steam warmer table. Put BBQ sauce on burgers before sending them through the charbroiler. When they weren't selling salad, we'd make salads occasionally. They didn't have cheese sauce, so ฤฑ'd nuke some shredded cheese with some of the milk they kept for shakes, and add salt/pepper. Liked to deep fry ham slices for sandwiches. The list goes on...
Worked at a pizza place for a year. After getting sick of pizza, we eventually settled on putting chicken, peppers, olives, tomatoes, onion, and garlic in a bowl with some BBQ and slapping that shit in the oven for a bit. It came out like a diabetic stir fry. Sounds nasty, tastes amazing.
I worked in McD 20 years ago when I was in college and their policy was to throw unsold food away at the end of the night.
There were a couple of decent managers who would let us take the food instead. We would make some interesting stuff up. This was back in the day when it was just burgers, fries and nuggets, polystyrene containers and none of that 'apple slices instead of fries' bullshit.
Triple or quad big macs made with chicken or quarter pounder patties instead. Custom french fry and cheese sandwiches for the vegetarians. Or boxes of nuggets where the nuggets were actually chicken patties.
We would take bags of food round to someone's house and share with a bunch of stoned mates.
sh4itan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at coldstone, I never got tired of the free ice cream. But as soon as I quit, I suddenly was somewhat repulsed by ice cream and didn't eat any for a year or two.
fizikz3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ehhhhhh....not really true. worked at pizza hut for a while. definitely ate free pizza/breadsticks often.
The real answer is that even if you were allowed to eat them, you'd probably get sick of it after 2 sandwiches. And it's not something you want to eat every meal.
Keep telling yourself that. Worked at the same sub shop(not jimmy johns) for 3 years and still ate there everyday, most of the time getting the same exact thing. When you're broke you can't be picky
My college roommate worked at McDs, at the end of the shift some nights he'd throw in a whole sheetpan of cherry and apple pies and act dumb (no questioning this one honestly) about it being 10 mins from close... Then he'd come home with a backpack full of apple pies for us.
Matt if your out there get a haircut you fuckin loser, and give me a call you bastard, I got big news!
I had a brief stint at a coffee shop many years ago an the rule was that broken baked goods could not be sold. I broke so many of those motherfuckers.
Also the place allowed 50% off of 1 meal if you worked a 7+ hr shift. The staff would rather have free meals though.
I would make free drinks and break some cookies for the sandwich people and they would "drop" some sandwiches for us.
It was fun but my god I have no idea how people last in those jobs for more than 3 months. I quit out of the sheer mind numbingness of it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to make a big show of slipping, throwing the food in the air, juggling it a few times, and then letting it fall on the floor right in front of my manager before asking if I could eat it. It was a pretty fun job.
Work at a sandwich place, can confirm that's why we don't let people eat messed up sandwiches or anything leftover. It's rare that they happen anyways, but they'd happen a lot more if we let people eat them.
That policy didn't stop my employee last week from taking out the trash and digging through the bag to find it and eat it, though.
Years ago, when I worked at Subway, we had to bag and save any wasted food to keep us from doing that.
Of course, there was no limit on how much crap you could put on your complementary 6" sub, some of mine weighed a couple of pounds and had to be eaten with knife and fork.
I had a manager once who would drop a raw burger patty or frozen fish patty on the ground and if no one saw, heโd just pick it up and put it on the grill/ in the fryer and then use them as if they were never dropped. The same ground that only got mopped like twice any given day (like truly mopped, people would run a dry mop over it because they were lazy).
Haha, a buddy and myself used to get free tacos this way from Taco Bell. We'd order a grande meal, which is 10 tacos. When they'd hand the bag out the window we'd let it slip off our fingers as they passed it, so it kinda looked like their fault. They'd always immediately turn around to yell that they needed 10 more tacos, then you snatch them bitches off the ground and wait for your 10 free ones!
Had a pizza delivery girl flat out drop the pizza in front of me. Half of the slices came out of the box and hit the dirt. Her face was so red and she couldn't say anything. I felt so embarrassed for her that I just told her it's ok and even gave extra tip. I wasn't about to send her back to the pizza store to get me another one, knowing she'd get shit from her boss/manager
I mean, goddamn you have one job. And you fucked it up lol. I still ate the other half of the pizza like a boss, though
I was hiking the AT last year and got the "Hiker Special" at a hostel in Georgia: $20 for shower, bunk, coke, and a pizza. Ended up slipping and dropping the pizza on the HOSTEL'S FLOOR. Ate it because I walked 25 miles that day, no ragrets.
Jesus christ.. a floor is one thing, but a hostel floor is a completely other thing. If EU hostels are anything like US hostels, I guarantee you people had sex on that floor
Thru hikers are fucking disgusting. Imagine a voluntarily homeless person who has enough cash reserves to crush a 12 pack and pizza in one sitting and then takes their first shower in 4 days.
"Voluntarily" is up for debate, though. Went to California, didn't shower for 2 and a half weeks, above or nearly at 120F every day, 0/10 would not recommend.
After a while you forget about being dirty. After thousands of years daily bathing is still just a recent development within the last couple hundred. Still nasty, either way.
I donโt know how much I spent but I only did 350ish miles of the PCT and it wasnโt $5000! Less than $500, but I didnโt need to buy much new stuff. I spent $120 to replace some gear to to the JMT section this summer. I did not handle the permits and have no idea how much my friend spent on them.
It depends on: hotel/hostel stays (we did none), new gear/replacement gear, food!, lifestyle choices. You canโt take that much with you, is it really worth $87 for a cup that is 17% lighter? What can you borrow? What can you resell? I bought a used goalzero solar panel and resold it for the same amount.
Man if that ever happens to you again get a new pizza! I just recently stopped delivering (was a driver for 5 years in St. Louis and Watertown, NY) and I really doubt she would have got yelled at unless it was like her third time that week or something crazy.
I worked at 3 diff places in those five years and every one of them was cool about stuff like that. They know shit happens, some dickhead might cut you off and cause you to slam the brakes, there goes that pizza lol.
Just saying donโt waste your money and only get half of what you paid for just to not make them come back to you. Thatโs just part of the job.
Valdrax ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 02:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did you make your text take too much effort to read by disabling wrapping so that I can know what never to do to my own posts?
Start your lines with four spaces and type really long run on sentences that never end and just keep going and will probably survive the heat death of the universe and still be going
I donโt understand it looks normal on my screen.
acealeam ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man if that ever happens to you again get a new pizza! I just recently stopped delivering (was a driver for 5 years in St. Louis and Watertown, NY) and I really doubt she would have got yelled at unless it was like her third time that week or something crazy.
I worked at 3 diff places in those five years and every one of them was cool about stuff like that. They know shit happens, some dickhead might cut you off and cause you to slam the brakes, there goes that pizza lol.
Just saying donโt waste your money and only get half of what you paid for just to not make them come back to you. Thatโs just part of the job.
Peleaon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just saying donโt waste your money and only get half of what you paid for just to not make them come back to you. Thatโs just part of the job.
But then /u/gabrielcro23699 can't post a story on reddit about what a boss he is, getting his dick sucked by people who can't stand up for themselves and go "You see, I'm actually not a pussy, I'm a legend!"
Do you really think complaining about (accidental) bad service makes you a stand-up guy? Especially when we're talking about cheap, fast food/half a pizza?
I understand if you bought a $100k car and it came in malfunctioning, of course I would complain too. But this was a typical, awkward situation. I'm lucky to have enough money to not need to work a shitty part time job anymore. If you are too, and you complain about food service for a $5-10 meal.. I don't think that would make you a stand-up guy
Peleaon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are making it sound like the only other way to handle that situation is to get mad and scream at them or something. I don't consider politely requesting a new pizza since the first one was ruined to be "complaining", nor do I see how that makes you a dick. The fact that their job is shitty also does not mean I should just settle for ruined food...I mean, I'd definitely tip extra if they had to make 2 trips because of an accident, but I kinda just found it funny to tip extra for getting ruined food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a girl in middle school. Lollipop fell into dirt, she picked it up in all its dirt-coated glory, told me "God made dirt, dirt don't hurt." Don't know why I took it personally but I hated her for forever after that.
My mom always says that you eat a peck of dirt before you die. Also the woman who doesnโt believe in expiration dates. I havenโt died yet so ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
My grandmother always said a peck of dirt a YEAR. Or a pound. It's about 50/50 whether she says peck or pound, but it's ALWAYS per year, not life. LOL!!! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I've probably eaten way more than my share of dirt in a year AND my life! XD
An accident hardly equals poor service. Being understanding and empathetic to someone who might need it at that particular moment is pretty โlike a bossโ-esque IMO.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at this specialty coffee shop that delivered to certain people for a bit. One of the delivery destinations was the hospital all the way across town. I made their order, like 15 drinks, and got it all ready. Anyways I dropped one in the hospital parking lot so I had to deliver the other ones, drive all the way back, make one fucking drink, and drive it back over. It sucked and they weren't happy. My boss never even offered us gas money. He was also in a cult for a bit. Weird job tbh.
I mean, I would give her a nice tip too, but I would totally tell her to go back to the pizza store and get me another one. I'm not eating some dirty ass-pizza.
I mean when I was younger and working part time jobs, I fucked up even more than that. I worked at a pretty high scale restaurant that a lot of rich people went to. Was bringing wine to a table. I tripped and spilled it all over a couple, and they were wearing nice clothes too. I remember how nice they were about it and told me not to worry about it, even though they could've complained and probably forced me to pay the cleaning costs of their clothes.
There's no need to be such an asshole for such minor things, especially if you have money.
I did that too! I was a super green hostess at a restaurant when I was 17, and policy was that I had to carry customersโ drinks to their tables on a tray if they were waiting in the bar. I legally wasnโt allowed to handle alcohol at 17 but whatever.
I bring this womanโs glass of red wine on a tray over to the table with her and spill it all over her white fur coat. I instantly burst into tears in front of them then ran to the back. Felt HORRIBLE. Luckily the manager sorted it out.
Fair, but I wouldn't give her extra tip. Why would you give someone extra tip for doing a bad job? The accepting of the pizza as is would be enough reward.
It was also probably a bit beat up from hitting the floor. Considering the health department won't even let you have a bucket of soapy water for cleaning rags on the floor, I really doubt throwing food on the floor, in a bag or not, would fly. It's just safer to replace it.
KaylaS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be smashed though! If I'm paying for a sandwich I'd like it not to be all smashed and crushed thanks!
Rolten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I'd still be ok with it but a business throwing and then dropping my sandwich (even if wrapped) really isn't how it should be done, especially without a 'sorry, is this ok or would you like a new one?'.
And for all you know the ingredients are all over the place.
No, that business needs to sell food that wasn't dropped on the floor.
Peleaon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah what a fucking retard, not being happy about getting a bruised fucked up sandwich he paid for. I know Reddit has a hard-on of massive proportions for retail workers, but insulting someone who just wanted the service he was paying for (when from the story he wasn't even a dick about it) is too low even for you guys.
Especially if the reaction is not "oh shit sorry, my bad" but "Oh, you saw that?" I would be pretty pissed too.
I used to work at JJ's too. Ever get anyone to order a BLT with cheese?
Without thinking on the sandwich i wrote BLT+ch and handed it to customer, what followed next was a flurry of profanity that began with .. WHAT THE FUCK?>!.... much explaining took place after
urbanK07 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a frequent JJ customer is there a reason why my subs never get cut in half even when I emphasize them to cut it. Just laziness? Itโs no big deal but Iโve always noticed they never do haha.
I work at jjs, the last person on line sometimes cuts it, heโs also just the person that wraps it so they donโt usually have to listen to the order mods because they donโt have to do anything else besides wrap.
Sometimes the meat puller/middle guy is just used to pulling meats and a knife isnโt a meat, so it just slips the mind because people donโt usually get things cut in half.
And both of them sometimes cut it in half so there isnโt a dedicated person to cut it and they rely on each other witch than makes it a harder
Itโs hard to explain, even when I pull and wrap in a 2 person line I forget too, itโs just when you read the ticket in front of you, usually you only look at the mods for meats and the cut 1/2 just doesnโt register in your brain. itโs always the very last thing on the ticket too. Itโs just one of the things that slip the mind for literally no reason, itโs not laziness. Itโs just one of those phycology flaws.
Also; a lot of people jjs are stoners witch also could be the issue.
Kyle772 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:33:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that was a much more detailed response than I was expecting haha. Thank you!
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We forget all the time. Its a honest mistake, and very easy to miss when we're focused on speed. Ive been much better about making sure my people cut it in half recently though.
Actually yes there is, since every sandwich is 8" long exactly theres no reason to, unless specifically requested it's not sliced. But if you ask for them to cut it in half specify it when you place the order at the register that person will note the ticket. It's really a numbers and time game, the average sandwich should only take about 34 sec or less to assemble. I watched a store manager vs a District one square off against each other and the store manager managed to do it by himself in about 17.6 seconds. It's all bragging rights its a fun place to work but its alot of work!
Yo i worked at taco bell and we dropped a 12 pack box of HARD tacos and other burritos right off the counter. They even spilled out into the floor a little. I was working drive thru and i looked at the guy and said, dude remake that shit, i said im not handing it out. So instead if remaking it he went over and took their money and handed it out. Apparently there were bodies blocking the site lines. No actual food touched the ground, just wrappers but still gross
Spyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of the principle of it though. Now I gotta touch something that was dropped on the floor to eat my sandwich.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You mention that it's wrapped and bagged. Why would you not serve them that sandwich? The edible sandwich part is wrapped in paper and furthermore inside a bag so it's not dirty. Maybe the contents might be jossled but no more so than the throwing and catching of the sandwich would have done.
A little Jimmy John's justice real quick. A buddy of mine worked there between jobs and earlier in the day he received a job offer. Anyway, apparently the person he delivered to was incredibly rude when he arrived. So having been stiffed many times delivering to a not-so-great neighborhood, he had enough and asked why she didn't tip. Her response was something along the lines of "tip for what? It wasn't even that fast."
He snatched the bag out of her hand and started to eat her sandwich in front of her.
Something similar happened to a friend. She ordered at Burger King and was at the window. The guy walks over to hand her her burger and drops it. The guy asks another worker what to do. The other worker says give it to her. The first guy turns and looks at my friend, turns back, and says I can't, she saw.
I hate people like that. Um yeah i am going to serve you that because your food didn't touch thr floor, a bag did. If you dropped the sandwich yourself at home you wouldn't throw it out.
Oh sorry, I was just looking at the ones closest to me, and they're listed as closed permanently.
I was putting 2 and 2 together and guessing they closed for health reasons
Wait? The sandwich was in a wrapper, and inside of a paper bag. What's wrong g if it were on the floor? It has two different wrappers around it. It didn't actually touch the floor. I out my grocery bags on the floor when I get home from shopping. I don't see the problem.
Who on earth would remake a sandwich for dropping it when it has a wrapping and bag on it? Dudes just an ass who wants to boss oh around and needs everything right and dandy for him
You're not getting paid per sandwich, it's per hour. Any complaints from the staff about this are literally ego insecurities, like what you'd supposedly say. I don't know if this is shitty american culture or what, but I find it ironic that America simultaneously has tipping to encourage better service and also has shit service, judging by many of the comments here.
I don't understand people's issue with food that touches the floor, especially if it's wrapped and bagged. It's not like dirt magically teleported inside of the sandwich, it's still just a slightly squished sandwich, and it's not worth the time waiting for another to be made. (Also, If you're going to eat it, and then expect another free sandwich, it clearly meets your standards, so you really shouldn't be a dick and ask for another one).
More generally, I don't understand people who have zero chill. Like, in what kind of persons tiny fucking mind is the difficulty you cause someone else (not to mention the embarrassment you cause yourself) by flipping out on them, worth whatever small thing occurred, real or imagined. Like, if you spit in my sandwich and I see it, yes I will politely ask to see your manager and give you a confused look, but if you accidentally drop it? Odds are you were more startled than I was, so 90% of the time I'd help you clean it up, put it back together, and eat it with a cheeky smile on my face, pay for my sandwich, and leave.
I was at a St Patrick's Day parade last week, and the local Jimmy John's was literally winging (paper-wrapped, but not bagged) half-sandwiches into the crowd. People were BEGGING for them. These dudes on the float were throwing them as hard as they could at people's faces. It was hysterical and delicious at the same time.
If the crew is in the groove, the cars don't spend more time than paying because the order can usually be done before they get to the window and finish paying.
That being said, large orders, and slow workers will gum up the works.
Don't worry. Just imagine how many people have taken medicine. Now imagine a klutz as a pharmacy tech and how many of those pills have hit the floor. Something I never even pondered until I worked in a pharmacy. But then medicine is a bit different from food. Can't say I've ever heard of someone smuggling a sandwich in their rectum across the border to sell. People into that tend to get it from the processed factory.
I was working drive-thru once and this lady ordered a fancy latte. We were slammed, and the orders got mixed up, so her latte was sitting on the counter next to me when she drove up. She paid, and I picked it right up off the counter and gave it to her.
She saw this and got pissed, then made me remake the dang thing. I'm thinking 'Lady, there are 8 cars behind you, and I've had a steady stream of 20-30 people ahead of you without a break. Your drink has been sitting there maybe a minute, and it's still plenty hot. What is your deal?' (I didn't say that, of course.)
But whatever, she sat there and glared the whole time I had to wait for one of our two latte bars to become available just so I could remake her drink. I still don't know what her deal was.
When I was 16 I worked at an amusement park in California. This family was waiting at the front of the line to go on my rollercoaster. The dad just said "Hi. We're from Wyoming."
Without thinking I sarcastically said "Wow, my favorite place."
Yeah Iโve even seen the Patriot stopped on the way up because someone wouldnโt put their phone away. I worked there last summer actually, Iโm 17 now
Looney Toons characters. As far as the eye could see. Nobody knew what the hell a Nickelodeon character was because there was no such thing at the time.
And there sure as shootin' weren't no Top Gun ride because there was no such thing at the time.
It was just a log ride. One giant log ride. And there was no water for the log ride because there was no such thing at the time. We had to push it ourselves. But we waited 17 hours in line for that log ride and we liked it.
I loved that park growing up. Figured out on the Top Gun ride if you hold your breath and act like your taking a dump on The first loop you can pass out for the rest of the ride.
Tayraed ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:06:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...a family came from Wyoming to go to great America? I mean, its fun and all, but it's barely worth my two hour drive. But to each their own; hope they had a good time.
I live in Japan and during a week in San Francisco last summer I went to Great America. (Was originally planning on Six Flags but every local person was saying Great America is better) The park is great. No regrets.
Tayraed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, maybe I'm just sort of used to it since its the closest park to me. I'll just have to go again soon, I've always liked it, just didn't think it was all that great. Probably because I always wanted to go to Disneyland instead but it was too far away so I guess I felt like we settled. Thanks for your input though! I'm realizing I was probably too harsh on it, haha.
Huh, I've lived in California my whole life and I've never even heard of this place. I might have to check it out sometime, especially if there's a chance it will be less crowded than Knott's, Disneyland, or Magic Mountain.
It's in San Jose and I'm pretty sure it's owned by Knotts. It's a pretty fun park and when I went it wasn't crowded at all. We got tickets off Groupon for really cheap
Us Californians know where it's at! For some reason, we only want to live here.
Drew707 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in the Bay Area my whole life but hadn't done the Alcatraz tour until I was like 23. My dad, my sister, and I get to the gift shop at the end and go to ring up some stupid shit. The cashier all peppy asks, "NOW WHERE ARE YOU FOLKS FROM?"
As a Bay native, I think I know maybe 5 or 6 people who have been to Alcatraz. It's kind of a hassle to go there, so this shouldn't be surprising. Tourists have all the free time they need to do stuff like that.
Can confirm, I almost flipped on a dad when he made the, โOh itโs not scanning it must be freeโ joke while at work at an amusement park. Why do people think thatโs funny?
snoogl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my defense, one time I was at an ice cream shop and the cashier had to restart her register and I said "if I finish this ice cream before it resets, is it free?" To my surprise she agreed and then I was stuck in this awkward moment of panic trying to decide if I should inhale my ice cream or just continue to eat it normally. I didn't succeed in finishing the ice cream before her register was done resetting, but she still gave it to me for free.
Kigarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs fine. But โCasino Nightโ is an episode title and the โFugetiboutitโ line is a well known line from Michael. The odds seemed high. But I guess not.
You attributing Fugeddabout it to Michael Scott is the equivalent of him attributing that Wayne Gretzky quote to himself, that's a well known line from Earth for the past century
RutCry ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Took the family to NYC just before Christmas. Weโre Mississippians and I was expecting the stereotypical brash, rude New Yorkers. We were pleasantly surprised at how nice everyone was!
Well, except for that one guy. But everyone else couldnโt have been more courteous and helpful!
Loved it and want to go back!
kryts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A ton of people that live here arenโt originally from here so thatโs probably why.
Okay the most annoying thing about New Yorkers is that they don't understand that there are people that aren't intimately familiar with the lay out of new york. All of their stories are like "okay so I was on sal's bodega, y'know the one on 49th street, and i crossed up to kings boulivard and you know how that is" and its like bitch, no I don't, I don't fucking live there. Other people don't memorize street maps of your overrated city in their off hours.
Sitting in my cousins car at Wendy's in Maine, and a guy walking by staring us down decides to tell us he's from New York, and proceeds to elbow the passengers window, shattering it, and begins punching at people and trying to pull the seatbelted passenger out the open window. After getting punched and kicked in the face multiple times, he finally decided to retreat, again telling us he's from New York and we're a bunch of pussies as he quickly runs to his truck to make a quick getaway. Fuck New Yorkers.
What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? Iโll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iโve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youโre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnโt, you didnโt, and now youโre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youโre fucking dead, kiddo.
Your "pizza" sucks! All hail deep dish!!!! All hail!!!
icamom ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was an America touring in England and spent the day in Salisbury. Not surprisingly, we kept running into the same obnoxious man who announced to everyone that he was American.
Haha! I do this, with Vegas. They complain about the heat and Iโm like โWell, Iโm from Vegas, so...โ
But then they get confused because I definitely donโt have a Vegas accent, which often leads to an awkward conversation where we go through 2-3-4 countries before they give up guessing and I tell them ;-)
My in-laws are from southern MN. Love it up there!
My parents-in-law have started doing half the year here, half there, and when they go back, it takes a minute for Mom to go full Minnesotan. My New Zealand accent has died down a lot since I moved here, but it also reverts when Iโm talking to people from home, so I guess itโs normal.
Oklahoma here. I know a Californian when they say "melk" or "pellow." Also my wife is Californian. Most Oklahomans don't have much of an accent. It's not Texas, at least.
I upvoted just for the shot at California (as a NYer) but disagree with you entirely. Sure Americans share a lot. But we are drastically dofferent across these 50 states. Just in terms of sheer distance, think about how different you get from England to Russia, which are probably closer than NY to LA. Sure we are more similar than that, but a lot more different I think than people give credit (and we should be! America is a huge freaking country)
If it's complaining about something, it's still tedious even if they're from somewhere more distant. Like Europeans complaining about British food/coffee/weather
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's to say she is being inconvenienced having to communicate with you guys. If you are talking at noon, she is trying to get done. If you guys are talking at 3 PM, she is trying to eat dinner.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:12:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So true. It's because of this that even when people ask me where I'm from, they will usually act as if I'm bragging when in reality I'm just answering their question.
That being said, I've lived out west for five years and still have my New York ID.
I went to Hawaii recently and during a tour we all shared where we were from. There were people from UK, Australia, China, all over the world. When we said we were from New York, half the bus started murmuring excitedly like we were some sort of exotic creature. It was one of the most awkward experiences of my life.
sometimes I just say directly where im from because new york is so diverse, but then i just sound like a dick becuase im from manhattan. Which is good because it skips them figuring that out on their own.
Though I currently live in Manhattan, when people ask where I'm from I generally give the name of my county. They have almost invariably never heard of it. I say, "it's upstate" (I'm mostly talking to people from NYC/LI so anything that isn't there is upstate to them) "but as far south as you can get without being New Jersey." They still generally don't know what I'm talking about but just nod and smile because what do they want, a demonstration on freaking Google Maps?
Honestly, I know NYC/LIers who have never crossed the GW. And even that just takes them to NJ. But even for those who take the Tappan Zee, which takes you literally straight into Rockland, on their way upstate, people have no idea that the county where they are is called Rockland. They're only there on the highway for about fifteen minutes before it turns into the Garden State or 17.
The only things about Rockland that people have ever heard of are Bear Mountain and possibly Nyack. And they still don't know what county it is. I have seen people who just thought that Rockland stuff was in Orange County (which they've heard of because of Woodbury Commons)- and even Westchester, which is NYCers' default assumption whenever they hear of a place that's not in NYC.
To be fair, I've only heard of it because I live here. I couldn't name a quarter of the counties in the state, let alone identify a place by the county it's in. The farthest north I can accurately figure out is basically Ulster. And I actually live in that part of the state. NYC/LIers are pretty oblivious about any part of the state that's not an island, except maybe Westchester.
Though I currently live in Manhattan, when people ask where I'm from I generally give the name of my county. They have almost invariably never heard of it. I say, "it's upstate" (I'm mostly talking to people from NYC/LI so anything that isn't there is upstate to them) "but as far south as you can get without being New Jersey." They still generally don't know what I'm talking about but just nod and smile because what do they want, a demonstration on freaking Google Maps?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing? It's a huge city full of diverse types of people. If someone told me they were from New York I wouldn't take it as a brag at all unless they were using a tone that implied they were bragging. Then I'd just be confused.
Kiwi_bri ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:59:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I travelled I used to get asked all the time where I was from.
I would say New Zealand - and they would always come back with "What part?"
The following question is so relatable to me. When I was in tw when people found out I'm from hk, they would have this follow-up question. However, they wouldn't know where it is after giving them the answer. Why even ask into detail?
It's actually a blessing and a curse. My cousins and I were jay walking in Hong Kong, and the moment we got to the other side of the street, three police officers were ready to pounce on us. The moment we said we were from New York, they immediately lightened up and let us on our merry way.
Brooklyn checking in. I've literally never done this because it's incredibly pretentious, but my pop who lives upstate starts all conversations with "I'm from ny, but upstate".
Chicagoeans don't even have to tell you, they're already wearing their stupid gay flag all over their body as a hat, socks, shirt, and straight up flag adorned as a cape
Myzyri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being from Chicago, I can tell you that Chicagoans do this too. They also bullshit their location. If theyโre in the far suburbs, they still tell you theyโre from Chicago and then later slip in a clarification like, โWell, Iโm not actually in the city, Iโm in Naperville which is like an hour south of the city.โ
But in-person you can tell if theyโre from the city or from the suburbs by the way they say โChicago.โ
In the city, they say Shih-cah-go. If theyโre from the suburbs, theyโll say Shih-caw-go (this is actually the proper way).
I was once on a road-trip from Chicago to Montreal with some guys. We crossed the Canadian border between Detroit and Toronto. As we crossed, we had to stop at the border guard station. The driver rolled down the window. The border guard asked "How many?" The driver confidently replied "American." The guard slowly blinked and said "How many Americans?" The driver turned beet red as the original question finally registered and replied "Uhh, five." Makes me wonder if that's a frequent occurrence for the border guards or if my friend's stupidity was noteworthy.
Actually, when speaking to English people, I find it best to tell them I'm from Denmark, so they don't think I have a speech impediment and/or mental problems.
I work in a NY style pizza place and get the "it's not as good as the stuff in NY" line all the time. If New York is so fucking great then go back there and get out of my face with this pretentious garbage.
Must be an east coast thing. Over here on the west coast it's people from California. "Know how to tell if somebody is from California? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
I guess alotta people agree with you but I just don't get it. I'm assuming you've been to jersey right? Easily the most beautiful women in America (if you like brunettes) just perfect Italian chicks everywhere. Plus, to me, Jersey Shore is objectively the best reality show of all time. And I hate real world, road rules, the challenge, the bachelor, and basically every reality show ever. It's bizzarre to me. People act like, and think they hate NY/NJ, but Jersey Shore did some of the best ratings ever on MTV, and America elected Donald fucking Trump (whom I'm no fan of) president. The fact is we are more intersting, and talk better than the rest of the country, hands down. People make fun of us, but the truth is they hate us cuz they ain't us.
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night. I enjoy Jersey due to the entertainment you provide. I also appreciate all the money you guys throw around at Wet Republic at the MGM, I never thought a guy like me would drink for free at a club in vegas due to other guys wanting to hear about my "cowboy" stories.
You know how Southern girls are stereo-typically considered "hot" with their daisy dukes, and southern drawl? and how southern guys are fat, denim blue overalls, date your own sister types? well for Jersey folks, the stereotype is reversed. Your guys are alright, but women are DOGS.
You know what, this actually helps me sleep easier, more jersey girls for me. Always makes me happy to hear other dudes have different tastes in women. Less competition, and more loving for all the ladies.
It's only annoying when they do it because they want to impress you, not when they just want to say they're from out of town. That's probably why NYers are the worst offenders ๐
When I visited America I kind of got the impression that a lot of Americans consider their state part of their name. Like they all start with "hi I'm Bob from Texas" it is weird and isolated to America but I would respond saying, "hi I'm lawyer lady, lovely to meet you." They would keep shaking my hands and nodding at me and smiling until I would say I was from Australia. Like it's not necessary information to know where I am from when I have never met you before today and I'm never going to see you again after today.... Americans should stop doing this
We notice your accent, so we're interested in where you're from. Ours is a big country and many tourists we meet are fellow Americans, so meeting someone from somewhere like Australia is a first-time experience for many of us. We're just curious and want to learn more.
pikay93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind that as long as they allow me to respond with where I'm from instead of simply talking about their place of origin over and over and over again.
Though if you're from New Zealand or something, you can tell that people are desperately trying to figure out your accent until you tell them where you're from
I'd rather that than asking me what I do. Dude, it's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm here drinking beer with you fine people. What I do for a living is sit there thinking about being here, and now that I'm here do we really want to be thinking about there?
I only use it when, as I've moved around the us, the context of "I am not rural people" comes up. Country music, mudding, that sorta shit. "These words do not register." But I'm also out west. Cultures are pretty different, and "new yorker" is easy shorthand for the culture I grew up in, and how it shaped my personality. Aka: I can not work in public out here without pissing someone off, and I talk very fast.
Cali people do it too, tho. And that's a big fucking state.
To be fair, people seem very curious when they see new yorkers in other states, I guess all those times people say โwhat are you doing all the way out hereโ gets to their heads and they start being assholes about it.
514X0r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Listen I'm from NY buddy, and if we weren't so much better and all of you so jealous maybe we'd stop reminding you. Look at all your upvotes! Insecure much America? In addition, we just assume you're fascinated and love us so much because you all keep coming here to visit and take our jobs.
I'm *clap* from *clap* the *clap* Bronx *clap* i *clap* dont *clap* take *clap* no *clap* shit *clap* from *clap* nobody *clap* and *clap* i *clap* clap *clap* with *clap* every *clap* single *clap* word *clap* dat *clap* i *clap* say *clap* when *clap* im *clap* angry *clap*
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:36:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyoming and Utah were the most memorable places I've visited in the States. WY might seem boring to many but if you like being outdoors it has a lot to offer.
Yeah, Yellowstone is nice but thatโs in the far western corner of the state. Once you get out of the mountains there really isnโt anything going on, both naturally or culturally. Do a google maps flyover of I-80 to get a good idea about the rest of the state. Nothing wrong with rural if that your thing, but Wyoming has a whole lot of nothing. For reference there are 30 American cities that have a higher population than the entire state.
California's hella beautiful though, especially the north coast sections. Massive ancient redwoods, temperate rainforest, gorgeous shorelines. Farther south you have the sequoias, mountains, and beautiful deserts.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a proud Wyomingite, I'd like to disagree! Wyoming has beautiful landscapes in my opinion, and great mountains. Many people think Jackson and Yellowstone are all it has to offer, but I enjoy the other landscapes. They're not as monotonous as Kansas cornfields; they are vast and peaceful. They are good for contemplating life and other things.
As an added bonus, I still have good ping for League of Legends!
Don't tell them it's a good place. If people think it's a miserable state they will have no reason to invade. I think a small influx of people is crucial to wyoming's identity.
I thought the same thing when I was 16. I was born and raised in California, And couldn't imagine another state compared. But now that I've seen all 50, and lived in a dozen, I'd take Wyoming over California (aside from those magnificent Sierra Nevada's) in a heartbeat
Thatโs actually really funny. I imagine you saying this after a half hearted safety check and kicking the lever to make the coaster slowly roll away.
We have to tell people we're from Wyoming beforehand so that they don't accidentally think we should know what the hell we're doing in an actually populated place.
Different circumstances but I've definitely done that about Wyoming too...
The saddest part was the person didn't even pick up on the heavy sarcasm and thought I was being genuine... I kinda saved it by faking sincerity for another minute until the conversation changed.
People are actually pretty bad at detecting sarcasm without sufficient context. Unless your tone is really exaggerated, I would guess nine times out of ten, the other person would just assume you really like Wyoming.
Why did I read your reply in Tommy Wisseuโs voice?
OraDr8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tourism and did the whole โso where are you fromโ? The person said โCanberraโ and I unthinkingly answered โIโm sorryโ. Luckily he laughed and said โyepโ.
(Canberra is the capital of Australia and therefore full of politicians).
I havenโtโIโve just driven across the entire state when I was moving from California to Connecticut. It was the most boring and driest stretch of land out of all the states, including Nevada which is also not very exciting.
Youโre actually the second person to mention that to me I think. Iโll check it out one of these days when I head back west again. Thanks for the recommendation
I used to work in the H&M call centre and this woman's package didn't arrive on the day our website said it would, bearing in mind this was an order for H&M basic items which came to about $50. She said that because she had to take a day off work we now owed her lost wages which amounted to $850.
I said to her "You took a day off work were you would have earned $850 to wait at home for a package that is worth $50, do you seriously expect me to believe that?"
Long story short, she hung up when I saw through the obvious bullshit.
S-Elena ยท 1792 points ยท Posted at 23:53:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if I said this I wouldnโt have regretted it. Lol. You said what you needed to say.
I used to be a manager at a call center. Left to go back to school.
After I put in my 2 week notice, I was untouchable. I didnโt care what I said or if I got in trouble for it. I gave out huge discounts that we were only authorized to give if the customer asked about it to random people if they were nice. Called a bunch of people out on their shit too.
My last day we had an escalation (customer wanted to speak with a manager) about 15 minutes before I left forever.
Steve wouldnโt let me take it... he knew what I wouldโve done. Why you gotta ruin my fun like that, Steve?
I feel your pain. A lot of people in my call center seemed to think the managers got it off easy but I actually felt for them. You guys have to take the batshit crazy customers that we couldn't satisfy. I'm glad you got your moment in the sun ;)
Oh god I did something like this once, I was working as a home health nurse and getting paid for 40 hours of work but doing 50 a week, I had an awful commute and I'd already given my resignation letter so I had no fucks left to give. I went to a patient's house and she and her husband were both heavy, heavy smokers. They also had cats. I'm allergic to both and had to step out to use my inhaler at one point (to illustrate how bad the apartment smelled). Throughout the entire appointment they kept asking what everything cost, and I kept repeating that home health was covered under their insurance, which included nursing and PT and OT visits. They said they didn't have enough money. They said this 5-6 times, and my patient also kept repeating that she has COPD and needs a Bipap machine but couldn't afford it. I finally snapped after 30 minutes of back and forth, and I asked why she still smoked and bought cigarettes if she had COPD, asthma, and not enough money for a Bipap. Luckily she didn't get offended (I regretted saying the words as they left my mouth, lol), she just said she likes smoking cigarettes and didn't want to quit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE SHIPPED IT TO YOUR OFFICE LIKE AN ADULT WOULD HAVE."
esr360 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually not totally inconceivable that someone has a day rate of $850, and they decided to take a day off to coincide with their package delivery. In which case, taking the day off was probably a pretty big deal for them, and I too would be pissed if my package didn't come.
Yeah no that's inconceivable. Anyone making 850 a day can have packages shipped to work or is living somewhere which will hold the package.
esr360 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's unlikely, sure, but it's certainly not inconceivable. Anyway, it's still not an excuse to demand the money - I'm just saying it's a possible scenario, no matter how unlikely.
Sealioo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Inconceivable is the most fitting word possible to describe a scenario in which someone possessing the skills to command $850 a day will forego a day's earnings to wait for a $50 order from H&M. It's not impossible, but its definitely inconceivable.
Yvgar ยท 1148 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You make $100+/hr and you're buying this cheap shit?"
Sunfried ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 02:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. "You make over $200k with no coping skills?"
Same but not enough to take a day off of a $100/hr job just to wait for a package.
Why not just have it delivered to your work, if you're making that much money surely your company values you enough.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You make that kind of money but are paid by the hour?"
iaywwnm ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 01:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. The entitlement of some people.
Piee314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would hope the person was just making at attempt, just on the off chance it might work. And honestly, what's the worst that could happen? I will often ask if a price is negotiable if I think there's a chance it might be. If the answer is "no", then fine, no harm done. This is well beyond that but I sort of admire her guts to try it on.
My company actually tracks excessive requests for credits, if it gets too bad we send certified letters saying that we can continue service but they're to cease asking for credits, if they continue we close their account.
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I meant instead of closing their account. Seems like you could keep their account open whilst refusing to give them credits - you get more money this way right?
It costs money every time they call in to make requests.
Don't get me wrong, these are only in excessive situations - I'm talking like 20+ calls a week over an extended period of time. At this point you're costing our company money
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of believe her. When people blame someone in this way, they total up every possible point that could have earned them money and grasp at straws, like missing work somehow cost them some potential work bonus. When I was working in a restaurant that did deliveries, I had this woman freak out on us for a messed up order. We apparently not only owed her the $25 for food, but money for her to buy her kids a new dinner somewhere else, gas money to drive there, and money for a sitter while she went and got dinner. My point is, people are crazy
I will never understand why people thing we compensate for "lost wages"
This one guy says he moved here recent from the US, his roommate had a heart attack, he himself fell off his motorbike and broke his leg, and has a concussion oh..and he's got lung cancer. I needed to compensate him because he missed a day at work. I applauded him and said how impressive it was he was still working with all his disabilities.
It was half sarcasm, half honestly. I'm still not sure why I said it. He was pissed because he failed our credit check but wanted up to make an exception. He talked to my colleague who told him he should be in the hospital, not on the phone with us. So, good times that day.
I work for a cell phone company and work with escalated situations. You have no idea how many people claim to run their thousand-dollar-a-day business off a $120 phone. Then when it doesn't work they're asking for credits to match their loss of income. I tell them it would laterally be more cost efficient to throw that phone away and buy a new one. No one has ever given me a proper response on that one.
Also, a person who makes 850 dollars a day can probably send packages to the office so to avoid the very situation that she put herself into.
CGY-SS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate everything you do as the first line of defence from these types of people coming in to the store. You're my hero.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought so too, but some guy above is equating the ability to get packages delivered to your work with high earning jobs. Sounds like hogwash to me, though.
Well. Hereโs an example where this is actually highly true. Iโm a truck driver. I leave my house for very extended periods of time. If my packages donโt show up on time, itโs a big deal. And yes, every day I drive I earn at least that. Granted, I spend a ton of it in fuel/insurances for all things and the money I need to pay for the truck (itโs more expensive than a lot of houses). So yeah. If I take a day off work to wait for a package I badly need and it doesnโt show up, yeah. Iโve lost a LOT of money. And if I have to order those items and to get them I have to be home.. well.
I bring this up because this exact situation actually happens to me a whole lot. Amazon packages that sit on my porch for weeks cause they were late and I had to leave. Some get stolen which is also a hassle. Or I pay double the price on things to get them shipped certified but even that sucks.
Also, there are a whole lot of truck drivers out there that have to deal with the same things all the time. So, to me, that story checks out.
This was actually in UK pounds. I'm in NZ and don't have the pound symbol on my keyboard so just used the $ instead. I get what you mean and yes in an ideal world all of our packages would arrive exactly when we expect/want them too, but to make a company liable for your lost wages is a bit absurd. It'll be right there in most companies terms and conditions that they are not responsible for delays or missed work etc.
Oh lol. No no. Donโt get me wrong, thatโs some crazy talk to try to get that money. No, you make a decision to not make it because you want the package. I was just mostly sharing because a lot of replies and the original post were very disbelieving that such a situation could exist.
Ah I see. Sorry my bad. I doesn't sound believable in my head either, but she was legit serious about requesting this amount of money. Anyhoo, she never got it in the end :P
I know that you have to let the customer always be right and all that, but back when I worked in customer support my manager was pretty clear on that sometimes you just have to speak plainly because not everyone understand that you're trying to be diplomatic.
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't she take it as leave? Or as a sick day? She still would have been paid for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar. Customer kept saying "You're costing me money right now!" when fixing their internet took 30 minutes longer than expected. This was Sunday evening, and we had just comped them more than 100$, so I just ignored it.
Cause nobody ever works on Sunday evening? I have yelled at my isp for failing (again) on a Sunday evening making me have to cancel an upgrade I was going to do.
Forgot to mention that it was probably the computer causing the issue. I mentioned Sunday evening because that's when we have the least staff, so things sometimes take longer.
I can write a book about customers who didn't receive their package on time.
One time, had a mom call saying her child didn't get his shoes and the tracking said they were delivered. Told them the usual, check with neighbors/side door/bushes/other people in the house. They were adamant that the shoes were not there. Small town, call the post office. Gave the post office the address and size of package.
Post Office Manager: "Hey John, did you deliver a package to 23 Main Street today?"
John (in background): "Yeah, handed it to the boy, mom was in right behind him"
(Apparently this guy had the route for 20+ years)
Back on the phone with the mom, told her what the post office said, she hung up on us.
I worked at a home improvement store and we actually did once pay a customer because they took a day off of work for a delivery. If you're one of those unfortunate people who don't get paid vacation I do understand how screwed up that is if you had a delivery or installation or something and they didn't show. An install of carpeting or refrigerator I understand more because that's a set appointment. But a package, you can never trust when they say they are going to be delivered actually will on that day.
Was 17, working at a Meijer, slightly older gentleman comes up with a basket on his arm, starts unloading groceries. Nothing too unusual, except as I'm packing the bags on the carousel, he's struggling to keep up reloading his little basket. He didn't seem old enough to really be struggling, but I figured maybe something was wrong and so I innocently asked, "Do you need a hand?"
Guy shoots me a look and stares full eye contact at me for like a minute. I'm confused, thinking maybe he misheard me, maybe a little cognitively impaired, and open my mouth to repeat myself. He smiles, pulls down the sleeve of his shirt, and reveals he in fact has a prosthetic hand.
I never understood the phrase "melt into the ground" until that moment, I was almost in tears I was so embarrassed, but fortunately the guy recognized I wasn't being a glib asshat, I was just trying to help him, and was kind enough to let me off the hook.
My wife's basketball team has a blonde girl that has a deformed left arm. There is another blonde girl who just cannot dribble with her left hand. I noted to another spectator "that blonde one has no left hand"
I know a Guy who tried to shake the hand of a Dude with no hands. Dude took it in stride. A few weeks later, Guy sees Dude somewhere and busts out laughing because he remembered how stupid he'd been in trying to shake Dudes hand.
He didn't come across well either time but he's a really nice Person.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:09:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're German, right? I can tell by your capitalisation of nouns.
Actually, I was trying to differentiate the Guy from the Dude and thought it would be funny to capitalise Person as if it were a seperate entity. So, not German, just easily entertained.
Itโs the little things that keep you going I bet.
Nezn27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very German of them
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ich verstehe.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A girl I went to school with had only half an arm. Her name was Annabel. All her best mates, teachers, parents, friends called her Armabel. She dug it.
I had a coworker do something sorta similar when he loudly announced, โHey, itโs James Brown!โ (referring to another coworker who was singing & dancing with a mop) right as a black guy walked in.
Knew a guy with a prosthetic leg. Funniest thing I ever heard was when I asked him how he'd been (hadn't seen him in a while) and he responded without missing a beat, "Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition!" I was laughing so hard, I actually had to sit down.
Kirby? That's what I did and yeah one leggers are a bitch. Funny thing is my bf was selling them too and he is a real one legger amputee and what not. Used to shock the hell out of em and made jokes on that all the time. They always loved his IHOP joke
Edit: guys I don't like Kirby anymore it was just an experience that I happened to go through. Downvoting because I used to work there and mentioned it? That's dumb but oh well
7_t_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My husband once was absently browsing store shelves when as associate approached him and asked if he needed a hand with anything. His always-gotta-dad-joke response was to turn to him and say, "No thanks, I have twooouh..."
Sure! Sorry, I'm currently hospitalized and on mobile so reaponse times aren't that great.
Again, at a store. He was standing in line with people on either side of him, waiting to reach the cashier and finalise his purchase. He's boredly browsing his phone, not paying too much attention to what's going on around him. The gentleman behind him sneezes (coughs? I can't remember husband's retelling of that detail) and scares a fart outta husband's poopchute. It wasn't exactly quiet; more like he jumped from the surprise and someone played a bad, brassy note on a trumpet from the seat of his pants.
Cue instant awkwardness from everyone in his immediate vicinity, most especially the gentleman behind him who was apparently startled by husband's pants-music. The smell was also apparently NOT subtle, and was a slow-moving, hot and shitty cloying-at-your-senses type of ass fragrance. He wanted to run, try and escape, melt into the floor, whatever he could to try and escape but said he felt trapped in by his need to finish the purchase which included things we needed for our toddler daughter IMMEDIATELY when he returned home. So he champed it out, staring wide-eyed at anything but other store patrons and inspecting the costs of items in/adjusting the sliding doors of the frozen novelty cooler he was standing next to at the time. Finally made it up to the cashier, who awkwardly greeted him (essentially this entire fiasco was witnessed and experienced by the whole checkout line) and finished his purchase before nearly running from the store to make his escape back home.
Edit: I checked with husband; the gentleman behind him had tapped him on his shoulder to alert him to the line moving forward when my husband fear-farted.
therest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no! haha your poor husband, what a trooper. He sounds like a pretty funny guy!
Also I'm sorry to hear that you're in the hospital, I hope you recover soon!
I was working late at a grocery store as a cashier. There was another cashier, and a bagger working. of course, we got swarmed out of nowhere and the line was backing up. I said "sorry for the wait, we're a bit short-handed right now." and the bagger comes walking quickly up to help, and of course she's the employee that doesn't have an arm.
The look I got from the customer was something I will never forget.
One handed guy here, the number of people that ask me if i need a hand and then realise what they said is amazing. I just giggle, normally they are genuinely trying to help and i dont take offence easily anyway.
Back when I used to work maintenance at a golf course a similar thing happened to me.
It was about 7 am and I was on the slowest machine we had (bunker rake). As I was driving up the fairway I noticed a golfer with a really unusual swing.
I pulled up to the green and waited for his group to finish.
As he walked off the green and back to his cart I called out "That's a really unusual swing! I'm impressed you hit the ball so well." As the words were leaving my lips I saw he had a prosthetic hand.
He didn't respond and I meekly covered up with "Still better than me....ha..."
I then made my awkwardly slow escape on the bunker rake as his friends stared daggers at me.
Eh, you did nothing wrong, his friends seemed kinda dickish if they react like that to every innocent thing
Can't even assume the mitigation of it being a new injury if he's already doing really well with his golf swing too
Snote85 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:15:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know that it's possible to take someone's left hand and reattach it to someone's right wrist? I fucking didn't. Not until I was a host at a steak house and this family came in. This was back in the nineties and so didn't pay any attention to the fact the dude was smoking, so much as the fact that it looked like he was using his pinkey and ring finger to hold his cigarette... that's odd.
I say, "Smoking then?" and start to turn when I realize his entire hand is backwards. It fucking floors me. I am walking to their table thinking about this and go back to my station after seating them. They are the only ones in the restaurant at this point.
The waitress comes over a few minutes later and says, "Why did you seat someone smoking in the nonsmoking section?" to which I yelped and ran over and explained what I'd done. I asked if they wanted to move to the section where the dude could smoke but he was fine with staying there. I still feel horrible about that but in my defense that's just not a sight you're accustomed to seeing in that setting.
What in the actual knick-knack-paddy-whacking fuck?
Snote85 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I. Fucking. Know. I still wonder if I fucking imagined it. The event is vivid in my mind but I've revisited it a few times over the years and it still skeeves me out.
We have a new client at our office. Middle aged women. She only has one arm.
My coworker, Reggie is sitting with her. Making initial small talk. I hear him go.
"So, how's that arm doing?"
She just gives him a blank stare. "Not well."
Reggie went beet red. The rest of the meeting was very awkward. I asked him afterwards wtf that was about and he said he thought her arm was in a sling, rather than missing entirely.
this one time my brother and i were at a grocery store doing that โput your arms in between my arm holes and pretend your arms are mineโ thing and weโre having a fun time doing and my mom shoots us a look and is like โSTOPโ through gritted teeth.
we look over and thereโs a guy, with no arms, sitting in one of those motorized shopping carts, staring right at us.
neBneT ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote because I saw the word "Meijer". Wish I could double up because you didn't say Meijers ๐คฆ๐พโโ๏ธ
I originally had it as so, but then I feared some non-Midwesterner would feel the urge to correct me, so I fought my native roots and made it singular. ;)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate in college that apostrophed everything. There was Meijer's, Aldi's, Kroger's and my personal favorite: Family Fare's.
He was pretty much my second-favorite roommate though so he got a free pass.
I just want to punch anyone who likes Ohio State, regardless of the use of a definitive article, but thatโs also a Michigan v Ohio thing. Itโs instinctive, like babies grabbing onto fingers or people flinching.
Firstly, come to Finland, Finnish language has no articles, so they're not used much when speaking English. Secondly I wonder if this came from French as they seem to put le/la/l' in front of every noun.
When I was in the midwest it took me a few days to realize that when people talked about "meyer" they meant Meijer. In my head I was pronouncing it like it was a Spanish word.
Related story:
My grandpa was once at this woman's house, and she offered to grab him a beer, without missing a beat he said, "I can grab it myself, what do I got a club foot?". The woman's son had a club foot, and my grandpa had let it slip his mind.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:03:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad worked in the NHS as a district nurse and he once helped this old lady who had no legs do some shopping, he was pushing her wheelchair and absent-mindedly commented "oh look, that's a nice pair of slippers there!" And she just looked at him and said, "...you bastard."
I met a man with a prosthetic hand whilst working self-scan in a Meijer. He was the subject of some rude womanโs desires to cut in line, so I helped him bag. He was just happy that I didnโt call his prosthesis an โitโ.
That happened to me! Only it was at customs coming into the UK, and the guy was trying to open my soft suit bag by laying his prosthetic hand flat so he could get the zip to move.. donโt recommend.
I like the cut of your jib son, always willing to lend a helping hand.
Vrach88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar, non-customer related moment like that.
My mates and I liked to play table tennis at this one place. We had just finished, I gave him cash to pay for us and dipped out for a smoke while he gets that done.
Standing in front of the place, guy comes out and is limping down a few steps that are there. I sympathetically ask "Sprained your ankle playing sir?" and he just looks at me and goes "Nope, don't have one to sprain." Fml
I worked at a supermarket in high school. I was on register, and a fairly oblivious and dumb mid-40s co-worker was bagging. I greeted my customer, and she immediately made a gesture that indicated that she's deaf (I don't know, I think she kind of shook her head and pointed to her ear). I acknowledge it and went on ringing her up.
The bagger tries to strike up a conversation with this woman. Noticing the bagger is speaking, the woman goes through similar gestures. At that point, the bagger says "Oh yeah honey, it's those allergies huh? They gettin everybody"
I remember doing that exact thing with a delivery guy, he also had a prosthetic arm, and I asked, โneed a hand?โ Without realising. Felt bad all day after that :(
ZB43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a clinic for people with chronic illnesses. We have the odd patient in a wheelchair. I have accidentally told majority of them to "please take a seat" after they check in
Related to your story but not really a customer faux pas.
Moved to a new area in work and thereโs a high level of general banter between everyone. Keen to settle in and make a good impression I try to join in and keep things light. Iโm last in a group going up the stairs and the bloke in front is shuffling his legs tightly together and waddling like heโs really clenching so I say loud enough for everyone to hear โWhatโs the matter John?! Are you bursting for a shit or something?! HAHAHA!โ.
Whole group stops simultaneously on the stairs and the guy turns around to me looking pretty pissed and says โNo Macho, I have a prosthetic leg. I take a little longer to climb stairs. Is that OK with you?โ
If I thought the fall down the stairs would have been enough to kill me Iโd have done it to spare my shame.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a care home and one of our residents was a bilateral amputee (both legs). One of our domestic staff was a young girl, absolutely lovely and hilarious, who used to go out all the time at weekends. She came in one day hungover, and it showed.
She went to clean this gentleman's room and he said 'God girl you look rough today, heavy night last night?' and she said 'Honestly Jim, I was absolutely legless'. You could hear him laughing from halfway across the building, she was mortified.
The exact same situation happened to me but in reverse. I was working reception at a doctors clinic and asked a patient checking in for her health card. She was there for an injury to her hand which was all bandaged up and was making a big production about having to take her card out of her wallet with her good hand to show me, clearly using her bandage as an excuse with big sighs and huffs. She finally practically threw her wallet at me and said "you'll just have to do take the card out yourself, I only have one hand right now". So held up my missing -since-birth "hand" and said ya, me too. The look of mortification was so satisfying. We both had a laugh about it in the end and she was much nicer to me after that.
Did this once, but instead of horror I got waaay more excited about it because it was the best prosthetic Iโd ever seen up close. Asked him how articulate it was, he gave me a smile and the bird.
I worked in a Kroger store and was helping a blind man and was looking all over for something that was right in front of my face. When I finally saw it I said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so blind! How did I not see that?" He said, "What did you say?!" I said, "Ugh... I said I'm so blonde!" I wanted to die.
I was taking yearbook photos at an elementary school and a little 4th grader limps up to the chair and I said, "Oh did you hurt your foot?" She replied, "I have a prosthetic leg." Sure enough there were plastic toes sticking out through her sandals.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"do you need a hand?"
"Nah it's ok,I just got a new one. It's pretty handy."
If it makes you feel better, my dad only had one hand and his favorite dad-joke to make was asking associates at stores, โcan you help me out, Iโm a little short-handed,โ or telling them he just needed a hand real quick while holding up his nub. My dad wouldโve cracked up in that guyโs shoes.
Err, honestly sounds like that guy was being unreasonable. You can't expect the entire world to stop using extremely common expressions, even if you lost a limb.
Iโll be honest, I think he was more checking to see if I was in fact being a dickhead because of my age, and then realized I was dead serious and just being a dumbass. It was so on the nose, if I were him for a hot sec I would wonder the same. He laughed after and was a very gracious guy about my faux pas and dismissed my profuse apologies and cherry red face
That was on my vocabulary list for English class this week! Literally never seen it before so this is kinda cool. Itโs speaking confidently or readily, but without sincerity or thinking about what youโre saying. So like insincere or flippant.
Glib isnโt a noun, it is an adjective. You can โbe glibโ but you canโt โbe a glibโ.
/u/Barefootin_along gives a good definition so Iโm not going repeat it, I just wanted to clarify the adjective thing in case you wanted to use it properly in a sentence yourself some day.
Iโm a dude, and had somewhat long hair in high school. I was working at the local supermarket and this older woman, 50s or 60s, asked if I was wearing a wig. I responded by saying no, and replied with the same question, after which she gave me an appalled look like I had called her a cunt or something.
In my early 20โs I was working at Target and had pretty long hair. Over lunch me and some coworkers decided to see if my hair was long enough to be tied up. Sure enough it was and I walked out to the floor with two tiny pigtails and from the back I looked like a female. I was working in the photo lab that night when a guy walked up to the counter as I had my back to it. He called out โMamโ to me. His flabbergasted look as I turned around is something Iโll never forget. It also took everything I had to not bust out laughing.
Was picking up my brother from school and some short fat kid asked if I was a girl or a boy despite seeing clear as day that I had moderate stubble on my face. I didn't get a chance to say anything because his mom heard and immediately started yelling at him in.
Good, she deserved it. Being old doesnโt give you an excuse to talk to people however you please. For all she knows your hair could have been a major source of insecurity for you. Obviously it isnโt, but she didnโt know that.
Huh. You and I have different ways about thinking of things. See, I take satisfaction in keeping it defiantly. And if it pisses them off, I wear it with more pride. Just to rub it in people face.
Imo, wearing something so public puts things on the table for discussion. I mean, i dont usually talk about people piercings. But if I had one, I would just accept it as a topic of conversation.
I have a pair of sure with enormous holes on the sides. But they're comfortable and "work" fine. I have gotten shit for them before. It doesnt bug me. I accept that people may not like them, and sone may say so, before I choose to wear them.
The point of wearing things like that is defiance and being noticed. They're for a certain type of person. If you're going to get your feelings hurt over people commenting on it, you shouldn't have got it.
If your first response to seeing a family member(possibly for the first time in several months) is to make a negative comment on their appearence you're a cunt, and immensely disrespectful.
I can understand asking someone to take their hat off at the dinner table when it comes time to eat, but expecting someone to change their physical appearence to suit what you think is tasteful is not askimg for respect, its immesnely self centerred and cuntish.
Want to know the key to happiness my friend? Its called don't be a cunt.
I used to work at In-N-Out as a teenager, and I remember an incident in the first few months of working at the pay-window involving an old man. He was definitely pushing mid-late seventies and drove up the window at a snail's pace in an old hatchback. I looked out the window, said my greeting, and asked for the amount due. He looked me once over and said, "they let you work back here?" in a casually cruel tone. My mind immediately came back with "yeah, they let you drive around here?" but of course I bit my tongue because I still wanted my job. Another year later and I would've let him have it.
squired ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She may have just wanted to ask where she could get one so pretty.
Maybe she was asking because she had just starting wearing one herself after starting chemo and wanted advice? You're pretty judgemental, considering how little info you have to go on.
I disagree, on a scale of one to ten if they equated to decades I reckon when you get to 2 (or 20) you can be a bit lippy, once you get to 8 (or 80) you haven't got time to fuck around and just tell it like it is, no fucks given
kevRS ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 05:30:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude who used to have long hair here. Really appreciated this exchange between Frank Zappa and an interviewer with a peg leg:
Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman? "
Frank: "You have a wooden leg, does that make you a table? "
I mean even in Australia going around calling everyone a cunt doesnโt go down too well
Qazsdf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:20:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how you say it. If you say โHows it goin cuntโ Then your fine. But if you say โGet fucked cuntโ then your not fine. Unless your saying it to a mate then you can say it however you like and itโs fine.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:35:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Qazsdf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How could I forget about that one.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:18:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking it's much less acceptable to call women cunt. You might if you're good friends still use it casually, but not like you would with blokes you maybe just met.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an aussie heading to america later in the year.... I can't way to start calling people cunts
wowaka ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how does that rude but relatively innocuous question deserve that shitty reaction? damn, men here are just frothing at the mouth for any opportunity to call women c*nts
When I had long hair, I was in a convenience store & lady behind the counter asked, "Is that your real hair?" I said, "Yes, is that your real hair?" just being silly. She said, "No, it's a weave" though, which I didn't expect. I told her, "Well, it's a good one, because I wouldn't have guessed."
Somewhat related: I once replied to a rather bitchy and condescending comment from woman, with whom I went to training school (Navy), by asking her if she had a no shave chit (a document the Navy gives to men with skin conditions, that allows them to not have to shave their face every day). She wasn't too happy.
The people around started laughing their asses off. She, of course, turned a hue much darker than beet red, and called me a fucking asshole. She was pretty well known for not being able to take back what she dished out.
Acadia94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:23:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had long hair working at a liquor store, my favorite interaction was a woman that came in with her young daughter, maybe three years old, when she got to the register I asked if she found everything alright and the kid freaks out. "Mommy, mommy, is he a boy?! He's a boy mommy!" I was trying my hardest not to laugh and the woman just rushed through the transaction embarrassed as all hell and gave me a very timid sorry as she left.
yugosaki ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:14:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't regret this, but one time I was working security for an EDM concert (basically a rave but legal) and on the way out this 40+ year old woman clinging to a much younger guy said to me "aren't you a bit small to be a security guard?"
I responded with "Arent you a bit old to be at a rave?"
My husband has long hair and more often the not a waiter will address us with a โhey ladiesโ whilst almost immediately realising itโs a man and woman sitting at the table.
Long haired guy here, I was at a mall with a friend of mine. She wanted to check out some makeup at this one store, Im fine with that so we're walking into the store and the one lady goes "hey ladies can I help you pick out anything?" I just put on the deepest most monotone voice I could and said "I'd love some new eyeshadow" and just watched the colour drain from her face as she realised I was a man. Honestly it was hilarious for me and she was so apologetic saying she wasnt wearing her glasses.
Inside joke between that one friend and I now.
I don't know why, but the way I pictured this in my mind made it seem like you were worried about having a They Live, Twilight Zone-esque revelation that you are living in a world where everyone's hair is an illusion.
I hate those customers. Had someone call our district office once about me and the complaint was "I was being rude to that man and he was rude right back to me!"
Yeah that's an understandable reaction, given you were a teenager when you said it. That generation has a specific sense of the customer experience that comes off like undue entitlement, hence her reaction to your response. From their perspective, you, as a much younger-than-her employee of the store, are kind of like a part of the scenery with which she can interact. For people currently under about 35, I feel as though the equivalent would be if Siri or the Google voice on your phone got cheeky. Your reaction very well might be indignation at malfunction.
Opposite scenario: I've been balding since I was 23. Wore a cheesy, all-black curly/fro wig as part of a Halloween costume. Friend who we hadn't been able to see in ages asked if that was my real hair. He had only ever seen me with it buzzed super short because balding. I just about died laughing and crying inside.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me LoL. Because Iโm wondering, what Iโm the world would drive you to ask that back to her. Absolutely hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Society isn't as kind to women who suffer hairloss. Even though both genders lose their hair, it's a lot harder for women to deal with receding hairlines and bald patches.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 02:20:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? It's literally the opposite. A woman can transition to a wig as/if she wants to with almost 0 traction. I can't recall a single derogatory thing I've ever heard another man or woman say about women's hair loss.
Men on the other hand....entire careers are lost, they're seen as weak by other men, women find them less attractive, wig options are noticed immediately...the jokes! The list goes on...
Bezere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Women with broken edges along their hairline absolutely get made fun of. There are plenty of memes mocking it.
Men absolutely go through hell during the process of losing hair, but once they go bald as long as they are decently attractive they are okay. The comments women get when they have little to no hair are pretty brutal, especially the ones attacking their sexual identity and femininity.
This is one of those things with both genders get a different type of shit for something.
If a woman is bald. The first thing I think of is she is a nun. Not to be made fun of.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:42:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I notice female hairloss more than others. That side part isn't fooling me and blondes tend to have thinner hair that recedes along the temples. Other women get it from the top and it spreads sideways.
Adrolak ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:27:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy I think that male hair loss is looked at worse by men than women. I donโt know much about womenโs hair loss, except that the only instance the above is correct I think is worth older ladies of a certain age, when my grandmother turned 65 she shaved her entire head and got a series of wigs, and it was a pretty common thing where she lived in a hot and humid environment. So yeah if you fit that scenario it might be easier as a woman to transition to a wig. Alternatively quality menโs wigs are super expensive and not as nice as womenโs from what Iโve seen.
I can't recall a single derogatory thing I've ever heard another man or woman say about women's hair loss.
It's actually pretty common in the black community due to years of having to change their hair to conform with white standards. Women get made fun of all the time if their hair is thin on the edges, definitely if their natural hair is thin in the middle, or if the wig they use is ugly.
I used to have long hair when I worked at a super market in high school. This happened to me all the time. After I would ring them up I would usually say goodbye sir or ma'am (depending on the opposite gender) have a nice day.
xtheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should've said, "Yes. I have cancer and I borrowed my Mom's wig because we're too poor to buy another one." The look on her face would've been priceless.
Kigarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long haired dude now (32) and I keep getting asked what kind of music I like. Even if I did like 80's (any and all) music I don't see how it would influence me to grow it out.
I did it because a few girls had liked the look, got tired with keeping it short, and I figure when I get sick of it I can donate it.
As a man who has spent many years with long hair I fucking hate how some people think they're entitled to tell you what you should do with it. I had numerous girls in high school tell me that I HAD to donate my hair and that I was a bad person for not wanting to donate it. I'd often point out how they have long hair and never harass female friends to donate their hair, but apparently it's different because I'm a guy so I dont need long hair. Leave me and my hair alone, I dont need to answer to you, you fucking hypocrite
olvini3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Typical "no u" situation
zywrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing you as Steve Hughes, and it's amazing!
Voi69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the joke:
"Someone once told me I had a great beard. When I anwsered 'Thanks you too', she slapped me!!! Why?"
This reminds me of a long time ago when I bought tickets to movies. The cashier tells me "enjoy the movie" and I said "thanks you too". Cashier gave me a weird look and I wanted to hide away.
I'm a girl with short hair. One time while cashiering this old fogey nudged his wife and was like "see honey, that's why I won't let you cut your hair like that, you'll look like a boy." So many things wrong with that statement, Jesus Christ...
I was VERY uncomfortable with my height as a kid (6'5 at 15 or 16). People would often comment on it then ask how tall I was. I would often respond "I'm about 6'5. How much do you weigh?"
I had a customer one time call me over to tell me how great their burger was, and how it was so delicious - I donโt know why, but I loudly exclaimed, โwelcome to flavortown!!!โ channeling my inner Guy Fieri....they just looked at me and I awkwardly said, โIโll be sure to let the kitchen know how much you liked the burgerโ and then I hurried into the kitchen
That's how I feel about Sarku Japan. I go in there, and my heart tells me they're asians making this mall food court food, but my mind is telling me mexican.
I never asked so they're forever just Schrodinger's cooks
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:41:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My brother thought my now-husband was Korean for about a year and a half. Husband is actually Mexican, with a very generic Mexican surname.
Also, I'm not really sure why my brother picked Korean out of all the Asian ethnicities? I asked him one time but he just shrugged.
Slightly along these same lines, my best friend growing up is South Korean, or at least his mom's side of the family is. His dad is mutt-American. However, he was born in Italy, so whenever anyone asked him "what are you?" he would say Italian, although clearly of Asian decent.
I told my wife that he was Italian for years. She refused to believe me. Couple years ago he comes by the house, we all get drunk, she finally asks him to his face "What ARE you?"
Without missing a fucking beat he says "Italian." I laughed. My wife hits me. It was a good night.
It's not that big of an offense unless you meant it as one, or were joking around with that. Asians (from Asia) have difficulty recognizing individual white and black people too, but they didn't make it into a racist thing
In high school I worked at Dicks Sporting Goods. Day 1 they trained me that the website was not dicks.com because at the time it was a pornographic site.
Not 5 minutes on the floor and a nice old lady asked me for the website because she couldnโt find something in her size. Told her Dicks.com and walked away.
Instant regret a few minutes later. Try to find her in the store but she is already gone. Hope she at least enjoyed the website I sent her too...
Funny thing is if they had trained you what the website was rather than repeatedly telling you what it wasn't you wouldn't have had the wrong thing on your mind.
Side note: funny enough there's a Richard's Sporting Goods in San Diego apparently, but Dick's Sporting Goods is still the first result when I search for that.
I think I was about that age when I accidentally went to whitehouse.com instead of whitehouse.gov...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol when I worked at Bath and Body Works, we had to specifically tell customers to go to bathandbodyworks.com, not bbw.com, because at the time a porn site featuring bigger ladies had that domain.
I worked at a gas station for a while. It was independently run and at a service station, so it was admittedly expensive. Most people, if they commented on it, would have a bit of a rant but never at us, as they understood we don't fix the prices.
Anyway, it's 11pm, near the end of my shift. A woman has come in and she is going off about the prices. She won't let it drop, she's dragging out her transaction, and she's being very rude to me.
"If you're going to rob people, you should at least be wearing a mask in here," she says.
"Sorry, left mine at home today," I reply. It's my go to for this line, which I hear about 6 times a day, though people usually say it light-heartedly.
This.woman, however, is serious. Oops. She launches into a rant about how she's never coming back, how she can't believe it, how can I sleep at night. I tell her I don't set the prices. She tells me to let my manager know he's a thieving bastard. I tell her he doesn't set the prices either. She says once again that the prices are despicable. The night shift guy has arrived now -- I'm supposed to be handing the shift over and leaving, but she's still bitching and a queue has formed. She reiterates that the prices are abhorrent. I finally lose it.
"Look," I say, pointing to the massive sign outside that prominently displays our prices in bright lights. "The prices are right there. You knew how much it was when you came in. You also can use those terrific observational skills to note we're only 3 miles away from a city with 24 hour supermarkets with gas stations. No one made you come in here, so can you hurry the fuck up and pay so I can go home?"
I knew I shouldn't have said it but a) too late now and b) I had cultivated an image in front of my manager of being a bit of a pushover. This meant when rude customers complained about me he wouldn't believe I would have the balls to say such things. She threatened to report me and I was like cool, OK, my name is on my badge. She also threatened to write a bad review, which my colleague and I had a laugh about when she left.
I left a few minutes later. Imagine my surprise when I saw her sitting in her car on the forecourt, tapping away at her phone. The madwoman actually did it. I checked my review. Apparently I am "a shockingly rude young man" who "would benefit from a good talking to". Harsh words.
This is the same shit I would say. I once told something like this to a customer and my manager attempted to say something and I asked her if I was wrong and she paused and said โwell,,,,,,,No........โ
I hate reddit because when some comment makes me laugh you are obligated to just upvote it and if you reply trying to make the commenter feel good about making an A+ comment people get mad at you.
I like your comment a lot friend
moondeli ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People who would be put on the restricted lists included those found to have committed acts like spreading false information about terrorism and causing trouble on flights, as well as those who used expired tickets or smoked on trains, according to two statements issued on the National Development and Reform Commissionโs website on Friday.
Those found to have committed financial wrongdoings, such as employers who failed to pay social insurance or people who have failed to pay fines, would also face these restrictions, said the statements which were dated March 2.
โLenddo takes it one step further by using a debtorโs social connections to exert pressure if he or she defaults on payments, according to the Journal. For example, the start-up will tell customersโ Facebook friends if they havenโt paid, and the friendsโ Lenddo scores could suffer if the customer fails to repay the loan. โ
When I worked retail, as soon as someone said, "I'm never coming back." I'd say, "Bye." Because if they're not coming back, I didn't give a shit about them now or in the future.
Me neither. Also when they would put their drinks back or more likely just leave them at my register and refuse to pay. I'd tell them to leave if that was the case and they'd go off about bad customer service. I would say "we'll as you're not buying anything, you're not a customer". That was always amusing.
Joke's on them though because if they left a coffee from the machine I was allowed to drink it seems it couldn't be put back. Free coffee!
Worse. She managed to miss the massive lit up glowing sign displaying the prices, drive in, miss the prices displayed prominently on the pumps, fill her tank up while her total was also prominently displayed on the pump, and then only realise and lose her mind when I read out her total.
Iโve never actually done it, but I work at Starbucks and my first instinct when people start complaining about the prices is to say, โThen donโt buy it, no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to buy anything...โ
I did have one guy say that he was going to take his business elsewhere if we didnโt have the coffee beans he wanted (it was our most popular blend and usually sold out pretty fast). I just smiled and did my best not to say, โbe my guestโ and gesture to the door.
This is hugely relatable. I don't know why customers seem to say that like the business is going to collapse because they're not spending a few pounds/dollars there a couple of times a week anymore. Honestly, if you're the kind of customer who has to inform people you're never coming back, there's a 100% chance the employees are glad to see you go and really hope you make true on that threat.
G-A-M-A ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:19:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
from whenceforth you're tagged for me as "shockingly rude young man" hope u don't mind
Yeah, unfortunately cunt is one of my favorite words to say. Minus my phobia of spiders, I probably should have been born in Australia. It's gotten me into some weird situations using it in a benign way. Example, met some new people at a bar and we were outside shooting the shit, smoking, swapping stories. I don't even remember the dudes story but it was funny and involved him doing something cheeky and I just said "well arn't you a cheeky cunt" while laughing and everyone in the circle just went dead silent. Apparently thinking I was a being giant asshole.
I said it once and only once. I was in college and this girl was being such a massive twat that I lost my cool and called her an "insufferable cunt that could have been aborted." I got chased..and not in the cute way, in the "if I catch you I'm going to beat you up" way.
My family owns and runs a gas station and has for so many years. I can totally relate to this.
Not only have I dealt with dick head customers coming in and complaining about gas prices, I've also dealt with dick head teenagers trying to buy cigarettes underage. We always ask for their ID and when we do, they act like it's the end of the world and start ranting ( you can imagine these ones are all under age).
I give them the spiel about how it's our responsibility and how we are the ones that will get in trouble if they're not of age. They don't care. It just makes it that much more satisfying when you tell them no.
I got that too. I don't know why they bothered to come miles out of town to try it, though. They'd often have to get rides -- why not send the probably of age driver in? So long as I don't see you do it I don't give a shit, all I care about is the person I sell them being of age. They'd be so genuinely surprised when I'd ask for ID. Some of them quite literally looked 11.
I did before i started working at one, cause why not? Apparently a few years ago an attendant went to help someone with a lit cigarette and when told to put it out said "fuck off" to the customer XD
metans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I looked up a petrol station once (it was part of the chain I worked for and I had to go there for a meeting) and in the little review box that pops up on Google maps the comment simply said;
I love the "how do you sleep at night" line. Remember working at a movie theater in college and doing concessions and at the end of a long night some guy just had to comment on the prices of everything he was ordering then when I gave him the total he threw out that classic. My surprisingly clear and un sarcastically toned response was "On the large piles of cash I obviously make working here." My friend who was the crew lead had to step into the back because apparently she nearly burst out laughing. Guy just grimaced and walked away, and I didn't even realize what I had said until my friend came back out.
Haha yes! I had a colleague say something similar. They never know what to say to that. My favourite thing is imagining what the customers think I do when they say that. Do they think I should feel so bad that I lay in bed angsting over the daily atrocities I commit? Or do they see me as some bourgeois villain sleeping soundly on my pillows of goose feathers? Who knows!
Find a way to post that to /r/madlads (like the review and why she wrote it etc) you'll probably get a good bit of karma out of it :) Hopefully you don't have to deal with stuff that bad to often though, you seem pretty cool.
I worked at a gas station for a while. It was independently run and at a service station
What does that mean? Gas station/petrol station/service station are all synonymous in Australia. From my perspective you just said you worked at an independent servo that was at a servo.
I'm in the UK. Here gas/petrol stations can be on their own (so just a station and small shop) or attached to supermarkets. On motorways we have service stations, which are basically rest stops. They're (sometimes very large) buildings with several shops, restaurants, fast food places, sometimes souvenir stores, and a lot of them have arcades. Biggest one I've been in was larger than most malls I've been to. They're designed for people to stop and have a break on long journeys, and for truck drivers to be able to rest for the amount of time they legally have to after every few hours of driving. My gas station was attached to one of these larger full service stations by a motorway, though ours was unusual because it was quite near a town (a lot of them are in the middle of nowhere).
Interesting, thanks! We have all of those, however theyโre all called service stations (servos) in Australia.
Orisi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's always great when you get reviews. When I worked at a call centre it was always a point of pride when we found a negative review online that mentioned us by name. Mostly because you could generally tell which sort of call was going to be one of those types, and make a note to be very thorough in your notes about what was said and why the customer is an ass.
Negative reviews were hilarious because almost always they mentioned "the prices were so high and [cashier] didn't seen to care". Like a) we don't fix the prices and b) we hear this quite literally a dozen times a day, minimum. You're right. We quite literally do not give a shit.
I did! Got fired a few months after because we were robbed and I "let" the thieves take the money. Sorry but a shitty gas station job is not worth dying forโ
Ah itโs fine Iโve learned to deal with it. I often just mouth โim sorryโ or go to the washroom when she leaves and come back to apologize. Iโve tried to change her but itโs just the way she is.
Damn! I wish I'd thought of that lol. Best part is my name looks complicated to say at first but is actually not a trick and is said how it looks, so if she had got defensive and looked it would have probably tripped her up.
I work in a supermarket, and I hate when customers complain about prices to try to get a cheaper price. No one in the store sets the prices. Corporate does. I am not risking losing my job so you can have your rude behavior rewarded with a cheaper price. This isn't the barter system or a flea market. Your haggling has no power here.
So many people would try this at my tiny gas station. Even the people who had only bought gas. Like the prices are set by the company and we just obey; my register literally cannot alter your gas total! If you didn't want to pay that much for gas keep an eye on the pump and stop when you reach your budget!
Side note, in my country you pump first and then pay, there's no pre-setting the pump. I'd still somehow get yelled at for not stopping the pump when I saw someone "buying too much". Buddy, I don't know your budget! I have 9 other pumps to keep an eye on. Use your brain!
Mncdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently I am "a shockingly rude young man" who "would benefit from a good talking to".
I hate people who complain about pricing, especially when it's really obvious the floor workers don't set them.
I worked at Subway a few years ago in the middle of no where. It was the middle of our lunch rush on a really busy day, where none of the other three places to grab lunch were open There was a line literally out the door and I was working with two new girls. They were fine, I did the hard parts and we kept the line moving as quick as we could, with one of the new girls on the register.
Some guy walks in and goes directly to our drink cooler and grabs a bottle of water, walks up to the counter (completely cutting off the person in line btw), and starts verbally ripping into my cashier (a 16 year old girl who had worked there maybe two days) about how <whatever the price was> was entirely too much for a bottle of water and how it's robbery and you can get a whole 24 pack for <however much>. 30 seconds of that nonsense, my cashier is white as a sheet. I got to be all "excuse me sir, we don't set the prices corporate does," trying to maintain customer service friendliness but clearly not having his shit. He decides he's going to come down to my end (again, getting in the way of people actually in line for me to make their food) and try to yell at me about how ridiculous it is. Instead, he gets "I'm sorry you don't like the pricing sir but we don't set the prices, there's nothing I can do about it, and wouldn't anyway considering your rudeness. You disrupted all these people's lunch, made it harder to do our jobs, and you yelled at my employee, who definitely didn't deserve it. Either buy the water or get the hell out of my store." He left, sputtering. The crowd in my store literally clapped and tipped a lot. It was a good day.
ETA: I did end up being assistant manager, but I wasn't at this point. When we were done with our lunch rush, I called my boss and told her about it before he could. She laughed and brought me a cupcake the next morning. We had a lot of regulars, many of whom were there that day, and they would make jokes about it for a while after that.
Icarus-V ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy came in to where I worked and the first thing he said was something like โdo you give discounts?โ Not any particular discount, he was just being a cheap ass.
Somehow, without skipping a beat I said โFor what? Showing up?โ
My reply when I worked retail was always "I'll double the price & give you half off!", the number of people who got excited about that still worries me.
Nothing wrong with military service, but there are definitely other ways to get a change of pace. If you really, really hate yourself but want to try to get that to the next level try academia.
Nope, they run and tell their friends that they were given a discount for just being smart and demanding one. If they didn't understand what OP said, they probably won't check the math.
mgr86 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is tax is often applied before the discount...so you might owe more. Or if it is a situation where you would tip you should tip on the amount before the discounted price.
My gf is deaf in one ear so that could happen with her very realistically, that our you thinking she just outright ignores the shit out of you if you're not in her fov.
The worst is when you ask them and they say no Iโm fine then not even 30 seconds later they yell oh wait never mind I do need help. I get not wanting to ask for help but damn either let me walk away or let me help you I donโt like doing both.
And I completely understand that Iโve done it before itโs just annoying because when I was still working retail and being stuck on the electronics department I had to do a whole bunch of other stuff while making sure other people didnโt steal anything which was a big problem at our store on the graveyard shift.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 09:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pew___ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:47:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
please work in an understaffed retail environment for minimum wage before making dumb comments like this.
This happened to me when they did a major reset of a supermarket in my neighborhood. It took me and two employees a good 15 minutes to figure out where the peanut butter went.
Seiche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:30:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my pet peeve: i answer the phone โhow can I help you?โ Customer responds โyes, Iโd like...โ
Donโt know why this bothers me so much
You need to learn to spot the kind of customers who would like to be left alone to browse the shop and who will ask you if we need help, thank you very much.
Those aren't the kind of people who'd absentmindedly say "Yes," when asked if they needed help. But thanks for telling me what I "need" to learn, thank you very much.
My standard reaction to "Need any help finding anything?" is to try and think up something incredibly outlandish, but somehow related, that they wouldn't ever have in the shop just to baffle the shop attendant
WHY the fuck would you want to do that? Just answer in the negative and thank them.
Pew___ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:53:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's policy in god knows how many retail environments to "acknowledge every customer" or some other form of greeting everyone who walks through the door.
I'm sure most retail workers would rather punch you in the face than force a smile and ask if they could possibly please you in some way. Unfortunately their livelihood probably depends on that job, so they ask you if you need help. They see hundreds of people a day, you really don't stand out from any other customer.
I've been that guy, and I'll explain: I did get excited about the "half off", but when my brain processed the joke, I was too embarrassed to say anything, so I just enthusiastically went along pretending it was a great deal and hoping the cashier thought I was in on the joke. I guess it didn't work.
fizikz3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
eh, in your defense if I heard that joke I'd get it right away and act the exact same way you did. I'd play a long like I was super excited/grateful because what else do you do? not play along? lame.
G8kpr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:24:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget... A&W came out with 1/3 pounder.
It failed in the market, because people snubbed it, wondering why they would pay for a 1/3rd pounder, when they could get a 1/4 pounder at McDonalds... Oblivious to the fact that 1/4 is less than 1/3
stop using it, seriously, it's retarded. dumb little quips like that are annoying as fuck and only hinder normal transactions. i bartend with a guy who likes to use this retardedass line - customer: "could i get a budweiser?" him: "no, you couldn't. but i can" sits and waits for customer to get it customer gives awkward "oh, heh heh" and dude starts laughing like he's fucking king comedian. just stop with the shit, people don't care, they want to buy shit and go, not be entertained.
If someone comes in demanding a discount this is a great way to move the situation along with minimal screaming. This is nothing like your anecdote at all. Chill the fuck out.
or, you know, we could have lots of people getting confused by it, and having to explain that's it's in fact some retarded saying/joke, instead of just a normal transaction by normal people buying and selling things
dvaunr ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:12:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds dumb but itโs human psychology for whatever reason (or at least U.S. psychology). See JC Penny as an example. They got a new CEO or something who got rid of all their sales pricing, they just had the low prices the sales would put everything at as the regular price. And their overall sales ranked. So they went back to the old way of marking everything way up and just constantly having it on sale and overall sales went back to normal. Even when people arenโt getting any sort of deal they still like to think they are.
Worked retail and my boss was a cheeky sod thatโd banter a lot with the customers. One of his favorite things to do was to tell people โweโve got a special deal on those today. Take two and pay for three!โ - so many people would get excited over it.
naking ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:59:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always say if you buy one item for double the price I'll give you a second one for free!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:04:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of what our guys in the field tell customers when we have a power outage (I'm in electric grid operations) -- "We won't charge you anything until the power comes back on." They are always pleased that their whining got them a special deal.
That's funny in theory but these days an ever increasing percentage of power bills are becoming a flat monthly fee with actually kwh prices dropping. This is to combat people supplementing their power with solar and using the grid as a "battery."
Of course this sounds great for large consumers of electricity but they also added "surge pricing" where businesses that use over x amount at any time during the month pay a huge surge fee so they ended up paying more too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know it -- the contortions that occur to squeeze every last penny out of the customers never cease to amaze me.
I worked in a shop and did an experiment to see how dumb people are. I put of box of chocolate bars next to my till with a sign that read โBuy two get the third for the same priceโ
Huh, guess the reason everything ends in $.99 now is a lot clearer
Blooice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had two girls come up to me at the register making eyes at me and asked for a discount. I told them "how about [existing store discount that was advertised with banners all over], just for you?" They looked so excited
This is exactly the sales strategy many retailers use. Ever notice that (in Canada at least) that when Canadian Tire has something for v65% off!! That the price is actually around normal, and the so called"regular"price is stupid expensive? It is literally savings you can't believe.
People don't want a good price, they want a discount. Mark something up 500 percent and give them 300 percent off, they'll eat that shit up in a second, and become mad if they have to pay a penny less.
One thing I learned working retail: People are fucking stupid.
I got kind of a similar story in the way you say something obviously sarcastic and people donโt realize. However even though I was the customer I think it goes. My family was at this amusementpark and we were about to go to a restaurant. This sweet young girl is standing outside to greet the guests and reserve us a table . It was a buffet place so the price was the same all around. Well, the girl asks how many are eating, and my dad being a dad, starts to count us as we stand right infront of her, because he found the question obvious, right. We were 6 people and she could have easily counted that herself. Alas my dad starts counting and pointing with overenthusiasm, and goes โ**1. 2. 3. 4. AND. 5!โ
We got in and he only paid for five people, Iโve yet to try this trick successfully, but hopefully one day.
A coworker of mine would give people like that a choice, 50% off double the price, or 50% off regular price then doubled. The amount of people who would argue for one or the other was very detrimental to my faith in humanity. He would sometimes end up having to use quarters to physically demonstrate that there was no difference between them and no actual discount.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked at a grocery store that had a "five for five" sale, where you can get five items for five dollars. They were little things but it was a pretty good sale. A customer yelled at me for five minutes because his items were ringing up at a dollar each instead of five for five dollars.
Never used that one, but I had a rule when I worked retail that any time someone made the "didnt scan? must be free!" joke, I would always look them dead in the eyes and say, as serious as I possibly could, "Actually, we charge an extra fee to anyone who makes that joke."
The number of people who believed it is saddening.
(also, ffs people, I dont care who you are, what your life is like, what you do for a living, etc, every single human being on the planet should know better than to make that shitty joke. It was never funny even when it was brand new, and you KNOW damn well that any cashier you say it to is guaranteed to have heard it 15 times already that day. Just... why would you EVER think it was a good idea to make that joke? If something doesnt scan, just say nothing. Saying nothing is often the best option.)
Worked overnight at Kinkos. Customer comes in uses self serve, comes to the counter and talks to my manager.
Customer: "Across the street they do copies for half your price I want you to match that."
Manager: "Sorry, I can't do that."
C: "What do you mean? You should match."
M looks at them and then pointedly looks across the street. Gives his sickingly sweet smile.
M: "You are free to use them if you want."
C: "But they're closed and I need the copies before they open."
Manager, still smiling, spreads his arms and shrugs.
Customer paid.
He was my first manager, decades later, still one of my favorites.
All about that leverage. Understand what you have and what others can do and then don't take shit
terranq ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 06:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did something similar when he ran a garage. Guy came in asking for a fuel filter, dad said "Sure, it's $34.99." Guy said "Well, the other place has them on for $24.99, you should match that." Dad said he wouldn't price match and suggested he go there to get it instead, and the guy said they were out of stock. My dad told him, "That's too bad, when I'm out, mine are on for $19.99!" The guy didn't think it was too funny.
I currently work at Fedex Office (they bought out Kinkos) and people always come into my store complaining about our prices and want us to match with Staples, UPS, and the post office like go there if you can't afford it!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a local print shop and constantly hear "...but Vistaprint charges X for this! I want to shop local, can you price match?"
If you can find a better price for the product you want I wholeheartedly suggest you go with that option.
It would be a touch of genius to base your prices on when the other place is open ... when they are open, match their prices; when they are closed, double it.
algy888 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:36 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYes, they are closed to keep their costs lower. While we stay open longer to better serve the needs of our customers.โ
Called a pizza place once. After ordering my pizza I said โCan I get a 2 liter Dr. Pepper?โ and he responds โYou can purchase a 2 liter.โ Iโm too nice because I said โOh, sorry, thatโs what I meant.โ But after ending the call I thought...what an asshole.
This is amazing. I went to school in Germany, and it's the exact same thing over here. This shit is directly translatable and you'll make as many German students bang their heads against the wall remembering elementary school as you will Americans.
Interesting, French, Spanish and Italian donโt make a โcan I / may Iโ distinction but the Scandinavian languages do (according to Google translate), must be the Germanic roots of the languages that do
"Kan jeg / mรฅ jeg" on the other side of the Sound.
kragnor ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:30:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What makes it better is you can respond (in english anyway) by explaining how using can in that sentence is still the proper use as can can be used to ask for permission to do something.
Acc87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:11:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this will make every teacher hate you for being a smartass tho
kragnor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:37:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, but its a war they started and a war they will lose.
I'd feel like a 5 year old child saying that tbh. Its kind of a childish phrase, at least that's how it's used around where I'm from. But hey if it's dumb but it works it ain't dumb! Up until late in secondary school we used to ask "Darf ich kurz zur Toilette gehen?", "Darf ich kurz rausgehen?", etc. Obviously most people used "kann" instead of "darf" which led to stupid comebacks like this. As we got older it wasn't a matter of asking permission anymore, just a courtesy to notify the teacher before we go.
aard_fi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:51:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As we got older it wasn't a matter of asking permission anymore, just a courtesy to notify the teacher before we go.
Another German here, when we got older we were told to just quietly leave the class room when we needed to go to the toilet - asking/notifying just disturbs the flow of the lesson, and would be rather pointless at that point anyway.
That works when you're in a class with other students who want to learn. If you're unfortunate enough to go to a school or be in a class with kids who are only there because they're legally required to be, you aren't letting them get up and leave the classroom at will.
Wouldn't the German question for can I go ... (being allowed to) be "Darf ich ..." (more likely translated as May i go ...), whilst *Can i go ... (physically being able to go) be "Kann ich ..."?
My German is kind of rusty, but I'm pretty sure that is how you would ask if you can go to the bathroom
Unless you are not a foreign speaker, and instead are learning German, because then the teachers will call you out on your Darf ich / Kann ich mistake EVEN MORE OFTEN THAN THEY ALREADY DO!
Once in high school I heard a kid reply "Look teach, we both know what I mean, everyone here knows what I mean. Now I can just drop a deuce on your desk, but are you going to let me go to the bathroom or not?"
Always wanted to do this, but I rarely had to go, and when I did, I always had that one teacher who wasn't a misinformed grammar Nazi.
Mac4491 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If a teacher ever said no to me for no reason other than just saying no, I would just go anyway. I don't mind waiting 5 minutes for them to explain something, or waiting for another pupil to come back first but saying no for the sake of it is only done for a power trip.
Of course, I made that all up. I'd think about going anyway but wouldn't. Instead I'd just ask 10 minutes later while jumping up and down on the spot. Works like a charm.
Teacher, can I go take a shit with my belt wrapped around my neck, thinking about how i never have to listen to your inane ramblings again, as the last vestiges of life slip from my small body, and the evidence of my first complete adult ejaculation stains front of my brand new Z Cavariccis?
"Sure buddy, just get me what I'm ordering and I'll pay you what you bill, as is tradition."
I fail to see how a pizza order guy could get caught up in the semantics.
Bet he has a heart attack when someone calls up "yea I'll take 3 large pies for delivery". Just hangs up and yells "call the cops! We're being robbed!"
More like he has had experience where someone said something along those line after ordering something else and expected it for free. So having to clarify might make them sound like an asshole but it saves their ass when dealing with asshole customers.
It is all about tone when speaking. For all we know the "you can purchase a 2 liter" was said very politely, and the customer just did not take it that way. Working in customer service you learn to try to be clear, or else cause more headaches later. Unfortunately, no matter how you say something it can be taken poorly.
He probably had someone ask him the same question before and then they bitched when the soda wasn't free.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:54:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm too nice because I said โOh, sorry, thatโs what I meant.โ
Eh, I think the world could use more nice people. And there's no sense in getting worked up because some pizza employee was snappy. He's probably miserable at his job and gets people asking for free shit all the time, saying "oh sorry" and moving on would have been my course of action too.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was a couple that went into a diner near my house and asked if they could have this and that and then when they got asked to pay, refused to do so as they had asked if they could have it, so they assumed that meant they could get it for free. That guys wasn't even gonna risk it.
zdakat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:03:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He probably wanted to clarify that it would be an extra cost. Then again, someone who wanted "get" to mean included(same cost rather than plus) probably would've ignored it anyway,haha.
What the hell is a โliterโ? Something cats poo in?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A litre/liter is a unit of liquid measurement. You know those big boss bottles of soda? Those. Fun fact: the name boss bottles came from a pepsi campaign.
Outside of the US, we don't generally have those short and fat "boss" 2 litre bottles you guys have, our 2 litre bottles are taller and thinner so that may not be a good example - https://i.imgur.com/MJJ9CE7.jpg
Nope, no idea what a โbig bossโ is. Looks like 2 litres. Iโve never come across a โliterโ before though. Is that just an American way of spelling?
Same thing, just the spelling in American English, German, Danish, Afrikaans, and probably a good few more
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, liter is the american spelling of litre.
Oh, and a 'boss bottle' is another name for a 2 litre, which comes from that pepsi campaign I mentioned. That's what they called them when the introduced them. The term is still used up here in Maine sometimes depending on the age of the speaker.
What are normal sizes of soft drink (I think you call it soda) in the US? I assume a 2L is a rarity? I was of the impression your drinks were measured in galleons or ounces?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 litre's what you buy to keep in the fridge and pour some out of into a cup. And we weirdly use metric for some stuff, and imperial for others. Like we call those 2 litres instead of half-gallons, but we call 500mL bottles (the normal drink size) a 16.9flOZ (Fluid ounce. Which is different from a regular ounce. WAT.).
2 liter sodas are good for group functions. Letโs say you have a party or something. Much better to buy one 2 liter soda than a ton of cans. Then you can just get a few glasses, fill them with ice, and you have a party.
It can also be used to drink over a period of time but they often go flat a few hours after being opened so that sucks.
I was selling a TV to a man once, and he would not understand that I wasn't going to haggle with him. From his accent, I'm guessing he hadn't lived here very long, and was used to being able to barter on everything.
"How much for this TV?"
"$700."
"No, really, best offer."
"In that case... $700."
"Come on, you got to work with me, here."
"...okay, for $700, I'll even bring it to your car"
"No no, I give you $500"
"Then you're not getting this TV"
"It's like you don't want to make a sale"
"I'm not commission. I don't particularly care, sir."
"You're not going to bargain?"
"We're a big box store, we don't haggle."
"Really?"
God I hated those people when I worked retail. One guy was buying two medium-ticket electronics items and then told me I should throw in all the accessories for free because, "I'm sure you don't see this kind of sale every day."
It was at that moment that I realized I needed to break up with my girlfriend. She thought she should be able to haggle for everything, even at the local supermarket. Going shopping with her had become so embarrassing that I would avoid it at all costs.
I went to a Kroger and threw a โpepino melonโ in my cart even though it was $2.99, because it looked interesting. When I got to the checkout the cashier gave it to me for free because she couldnโt find it in her produce code booklet, and apparently Kroger encourages giving away novel produce so people can try it.
Anyway, moral of the story is donโt buy pepino melons because theyโre worse than cucumbers and theyโre worse than melons.
i had the worst when i was trying to sell a car - agreed on a price, took it in for a mechanic inspection, and then they tried to lowball me after it came back clean. even after i flat refused to budge, they kept trying to offer me shit prices.
Ugh I deal with this frequently. "We are buying 500sq ft of flooring can we get a price break?" LMAO, no. You are ordering a very average size, I'm not dropping the price on it a single cent. Add another 0 to that number and yeah lemme see what I can do.
Yeah gets old. With flooring I understand that most people dont realize 500sq ft is an average order since it is probably a big order to them but to someone that sees them everyday they are mundane.
Sometimes I'll ask if there's a price break, and where does it generally start... like beginning with an order of X units. This seems to be a less offensive way of discovering where the discount might apply. You need to be a serious buyer, though. Every per-unit price is negotiable if you're buying enough of something.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I generally do the opposite. When people are asking for a discount I ask them how many they are planning to buy.
To be honest I'd probably give a (minor) discount for two on most things.. assuming they weren't planning on getting two already.
Sometimes people do that just to probe. Get an idea of what your margins are and how low youโd be able to go on one unit.
But yeah if a customer is cool I do give discounts if they ask. Itโs when they expect it that I get annoyed... Especially non/profits asking for free stuff and then being rude if Iโm too backed up to make free shit for their event.
Right, we often hear "how much for 10" followed by "Ok I'll take one" followed by "but you said for 10 it would be X each"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah nothing worse than people who feel like you owe them something.
As a general rule try and reward people who don't ask for discounts and are just generally good customers by offering them, and refusing discounts to people who do ask. That's how it should work, in my opinion, you don't reward shitty behaviour with discounts.
Unfortunately we're up against the retail giants and panicked salesmen on commission who can't stand losing a sale and love to treat people who bitch and complain extra special, just ensuring they continue to do it wherever possible.
You are not nice. These people are not necessarily aware it's average, they are just asking. It shouldn't be such a pain for you to reply to a simple question like that.
During my barely making it by, if that, days I used to always ask. You would be surprised how often it turned out something was on sale for members only or some sort of discount for signing up for a free membership.
When you barely have enough for food it doesn't hurt to ask, especially at grocery store.
Work in hospitality. People will frequently ask for discounts and there arenโt very big discounts where I work, but there are some that I can apply. I usually ask what people are in town for and if they qualify for a discount(letโs say for like a medical visit) theyโll get it and be reminded to request that same discount next time. We need people to be repeat guests and sometimes discounts help with that.
Atleast those people paid regular price. A lady once mistakenly thought the price of an item was $20 more than it actually was. I tried to give her the lower price but she went crazy yelling at me and cursing me out because she was too angry to understand i was giving it to her cheaper. Even asked for my boss so fuck it i just let her pay the higher price. Ya really cant help stupid people.
Was helping a woman at IKEA pick out a chair. She likes one of the nicer, more expensive models. โThis one is nice, but the base is so expensive! Iโm not even sitting on it, canโt I buy a Cheaper base?โ I pointed out that plenty of chairs use bases interchangeably, but this isnโt one of them. You just have to buy the correct one. I also mentioned that we have a few of the same chairs in our As-Is section (clearance/scratch and dent) with only my minor stains. Her face scrunched up, โNo, I want a NICE chair!โ Ok, so you want a nice chair, but just donโt want to pay for it, got it, have a nice day!
sometimes i ask that because there are shops where i live that will have discounts with specific credit cards, or like payments without interest, things like that. sometimes stores also have 10 to 15% off by joining the newsletter or sending a code (h&m, monki), or 10% off if you're a student (topshop)
My grandfather managed a lumber store in the 60s. One day, a pastor came into the store and brought a few items to the cash register. He hopefully asked my grandfather, โDo you discount the clergy?โ Without missing a beat, my grandfather said, โNo, I think they have their place.โ
I used to work at kohls and the customers are by far the most spoiled, entitled women in the world. The only time I ever genuinely smiled was when the regulars would come up and say โDo you have my coupons for me?โ and I said โNope!โ as they looked at the clearly visible stack of coupons next to me that I could easily scan for them.
That's a questions every single customer asks in Iran. And they call me a mouse for not asking it
strahag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what business you work in, or the tone in which he asked, but there's many situations in which this is an entirely appropriate and reasonable question.
I used to work at a home improvement store, and heard at least twice a shift, "I want the employee discount." (The fuck, you don't work there???)
To which I would laugh and go, "Yeah, well, so would I."
prewars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell phones and people lately have been suggesting I give them a case for free since, I don't know, I guess they're paying the same price everyone else is for the phone. I've started saying "I'll tell you what, if you pay for it, I'll let you have it!"
I worked for a certain discounted retailer that is very popular in the US and Canada. A lot of people shop at these stores in particular because they know we mark down products often, both through the normal process of clearing out stock to make way for new items and also because things are damaged. The amount of people who push it as far as it can go, shamelessly, just digging for that discount is astonishing. Petty things, a single thread pulled on the corner of couch, a scuff you can rub off on a shoe, little tiny things. And there are times when we put our foot down, and we're always undermined by our manager to keep the customer happy. The company probably loses so much money giving markdowns on products that don't need it and allowing returns on merchandise we can't salvage or resell. We're only supposed to give 10% MAXIMUM if there is damage and not sell it if it's so damaged that 10% is not enough, but the customers are not stupid and immediately ask for the 10% right away, know that our bosses are pushovers if they complain enough, and generally know it's up to the discretion of the coordinator or manager to mark down product. SO BASICALLY, yes, anything they set their little eyes on can and probably will be discounted if they grovel and whine enough.
The amount of people in this whole thread who say they do this on occasion outstands me. I work in car rental and the amount of people who come in and say they want a discount for whatever reason totally pisses me off. If you cant afford it in the first place, maybe you shouldnt be buying it.
Loved doing that. I sold bmws for years and people would come in and say what's your best price? "Well my best price is $2k over list what's yours?" Most people were dumbstruck by that but sometimes you'd get the knee jerk reply saying "well I mines $2k below" "perfect! How about we meet in the middle!" Worked a few times just outta sheer boldness
As someone that works in retail I totally relate, I've had numerous occasions when someone comes in just before close and asks if we can discount anything that won't be on sale tommorow. I always respond with "no that's not really how shops work."
People ask us alot if we give discounts, mostly for military or for elderly. We are located near a marine base...in a retiree town. We'd go out of business. My husband is polite though...he always says "No, we make sure our low prices are available for everyone."
I have a similar story. I work at in upscale resort, and get a lot of very entitled guests. One time this lady asked if the package she booked included breakfast, and when we mentioned that, unfortunately not that particular package, she said โoh okay. Well an you place a resort credit on my room then?โ When we told her there was no credit to give her, she told us to go ask our manager to find something. She basically wanted us to just give her money to spend at the resort for free.
I worked somewhere that gave a military discount and would often get old people who were pissed off that we didn't have a senior discount. "You have a military discount and not a senior discount?"
I don't even know how many times I had to keep myself from blurting out, "All you've done is not die, why should you get a discount?"
Why do you feel like insulting your customers for asking if there's any discount up? I don't get it. I regularly ask if there are student discounts in cinema, chain restaurant, etc. Some places have it, some don't and often you can't know without asking. Does it make me a "cheap ass" ?
The guy in the example headed right in to ask for the discount. Implication here is that he's only going to purchase anything if there are discounts, which does rather make him a cheapass. If you go to a place to eat and they tell you they haven't a student discount, do you walk out and find a place that does?
Not sure why him asking directly about discounts would imply he only wants to buy if there are discounts. Maybe he just wants to be clear on that asap so he can take it into consideration when deciding what to purchase.
Reminds me of two snarky, extra-bitchy femme dudes I used to work with in music retail. They never held back, and because it was a indie store owned by a very tolerant Motorhead fan, they never got shit for it.
Actually miss those days. Sorta like those novelty cafes where the wait staff cuss at you. No, not Starbucks, the other one...
'being a cheap ass' yeah I want to pay full price for all my items please. I have no imagination and I am a good consumer.
mandy_01 ยท 1593 points ยท Posted at 00:36:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In this case, I was the customer.
I had run by my roommates work to drop off something to her and buy something. Since both her and her manager were working the cash registers, I asked "who's checking me out?"
Without blinking her manager goes, "I've been checking you out all night."
I left and he turned to my roommate, "Did I say what I think I did?"
Turns out he was high on pain meds. But I still got a great story out of it.
sqqueen ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 03:41:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a bookstore in Florida at quitting time once. I was having my purchases scanned when the other cashier found the only other customer and asked, "would you like me to ring you out?" and the customer replied, while makinG a wringing motion, "Why? I'm not wet!"
I was telling a coworker a stupid pun I made earlier in the day. Some guy came in and used his smart watch to pay and I said, โguess itโs time to pAyโ he didnโt think it was funny but the customer talking to us did. I wish that customer would come back and laugh at more of my jokes.
I wish that customer would come back and laugh at more of my jokes.
About a decade ago I decided making others laugh was too difficult. Moving forward I focused on making myself laugh, if others laughed it was a bonus. My life got better (the lives of those who hated my jokes didn't improve).
The twist was that he wasn't on pain meds at all, that was just his great save.
[deleted] ยท 18879 points ยท Posted at 23:51:41 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i was a bartender.. a guy came in and ordered a french press coffee. while i was making it we were talking and he said โoh yeah - i like my coffee how i like my women...can you guess?โ for whatever reason my immediate reply was โfull of cream?โ...my manager was behind me and burst into laughter. i immediately regretted it. the look of horror on the guys face, i was so embarrassed.
apparently he was going to stay โhot and strongโ.
EDIT; it was a bar & restaurant, so we had french presses with our brunch menu. chock full o nuts coffee ;) also, iโm a lady.
shout out to my husband because heโs so proud this is my top voted comment. this is his favorite story. and we are cracking up over the variations of this joke.
Th3K00n ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This.... This one got me good๐๐๐ Iโm imagining some barista asking me how I like my coffee. I respond with โI like my coffee how I like my women.โ
Then she responds with, โCovered in pubic hair?โ๐๐๐๐
Edit: re read and it says public. But still, funny๐๐
Blonde and nutty?
You could at least play ignorance with this one.
[deleted] ยท 3990 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who is going for the "I like my coffee how I like my women" tired line is shocked it can be taken in a sexual manner?
[deleted] ยท 1662 points ยท Posted at 03:38:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes someone thinks they are pervier than they are. That guy probably thought he could fluster the service staff and have some harmless fun, he then got slightly schooled in having a dirty mind.
It's sweet in a "hes to old to know we talk about rimming each other for fun" sort of way.
edit: Things like this may not always be harmless, in the story above we cant say for sure but as /u/Alaira314 pointed out situations like this are usually more sexual harassmant than playful banter. Please be sure to protect yourselves and call people out on inappropriate behavior.
[deleted] ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MayorBee ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That guy probably thought he could fluster the service staff and have some harmless fun
As someone who works in a customer-facing job, I can tell you it's emotionally wearing to have to deal with these kinds of "harmless" jokes day in and day out, constantly having to be on your guard against creepers looking to get a reaction out of shocking you. It wears on you, and makes you suspicious of even innocent interactions because what if you let down your guard and laugh at the wrong thing and he takes it as permission to jump way over the line? Then laugh and talk to you like you're a child when you blush or stammer? And it makes me angry that my male coworkers don't really have to deal with it, only the women(every couple months there's a lady who's inappropriate, but it's every day with the men).
It's not harmless fun. Call this shit out when you see it happening, because the people behind the counter often can't.
Piee314 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:24:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not harmless fun. Call this shit out when you see it happening, because the people behind the counter often can't.
I think it's weird the people joke with service folks. I always figure they have to deal with so much shit it's best to be friendly and to get the job done (not like that) as quickly as possible to make their day a little easier. Or to at least not be a problem.
Yeah I'm always nice but I never really try to joke with them because of that. When I cashier, I hear the exact same line from customers all day, every day. And each person says it like they're so clever and the first to say it.
I'm glad I'm not a woman in service industry for the simple fact that there are a lot of old guys who like to creep on the staff. However, I did get a lot of secondary flirting by parents of teen girls when I worked fast food. They'd ask questions for their teen daughters when I brought food out to the table. Kinda like parental wingmen. I don't think that's normal, but I bet it's absolutely mortifying for the daughter.
My parents did that to me when I was a young teen, and my understanding from other girls I knew is that it wasn't uncommon. The point is to embarrass the kid, you were just caught up in it. I'm sorry it happened to you. :(
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:40:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely agree with you, and apologize for not explaining the other side of what someone could mean in that situation. While in the story I was replying to it's entirely possible that it could have been just an older guy that bit off more than he could chew, the truth is scumbags sort of take advantage of the general public giving them the benefit of the doubt or just abuse of the customer / customer service relationship. They want or hope people see them as just a silly older guy, however having female nurse friends I've heard the stories of just how much older men try to get away with.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that, it's something that as a guy I can't say I've experienced but I can imagine that it's absolutely horrible.
WAFC ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 05:27:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a male in a customer facing job, please don't stop joking with me. Makes the day more bareable.
rnykal ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:07:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they were talking about just jokes in general, but weirdos walking up and telling a slew of sexually explicit jokes to try to flirt with staff
Which is funny because most people are not that "homely" ...they act like they are, but they really aren't. I'm fairly conservative when in public, but that guys answer would have made me smirk and laugh... I would have probably fist bumped him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have time to type out how making somebody feel uncomfortable, and grossing them out, isn't appropriate. Especially when said person is obligated to keep talking to the offender.
Instead I tried to point out how irate and offended you seemed to get over somebody else being offended.
All the OP was trying to say (and the person you replied to) was that sexual comments out of the blue can be creepy and unwanted, and that it shouldn't happen so much.
I suggest you read up on what "harassment" means before making any further comments. Because its a criminal offense. And youre suggesting making a comment that has the absolutely subjective and probably unintended consequence ofmaking someone uncomfortable is
usually more
a criminal offense. Please think about if you actually want it to be that way or if you just didnt properly think through what you were saying.
EDIT:
Also, in what world does disagreeing with someone mean youre offended? o.O
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 08:58:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
God your edit really ruined your comment. Are you trying to win the award for most anodyne redditor of the year or just March?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:39:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If someone is able to bring, or in this case remind me of, a situation to mind that I may not see a perspective on and my first reaction is to just dismiss it then what does that say about me? I have had friends who mention that to me and I can tell it bothers them, just as it bothers the one who replied and those who either replied to them or replied with a similar experience.
Did it take a bit of time out of my day to make the edit? I mean a bit, but I think if I get to the point that making people aware of something isn't worth the 3 seconds to edit it then I probably have my own issues or just busy/uninterested. If its something I agree in, ill mention it. If I don't agree then hell ill still talk about it because just sitting in my own "im right everyone else is wrong" pity party wont really do much for me as a person.
You mentioned it really ruined the comment for ya, and for im sorry. Not because it was ruined and I made you mad in having the edit, but more sorry that you were looking for a reason to be mad.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 09:40:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't looking for a reason to be mad, what kind of passive aggressive monster are you? I'm even now not mad but confused and befuddled.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:53:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that victim backpedal. I do believe you don't think you're mad, but its pretty clear you approach people looking for fights or arguments. Even just going through your comments man cause I thought maybe you were just having a bad day but dude, man you're always looking for the fight. I'm just sorry man.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More passive aggressive bullshit: "Sorry not sorry"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:23:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, but that's the thing is that your comment shows the mentality that I am sorry you have. I was that, and I feel bad because I know how long you'll be there. You can call it passive aggressive bullshit, or whatever reasoning you need , but it won't do anything for you. You can backpedal, or even if you want man go for the thing where at the end you say "haaa bitch Ive been trolling you this whole time" thing, but you yourself can only believe it for so long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're completely divorced from reality.
je1008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your original comment was pointless, a downvote would have been a better option
Fillet of a fenny snake
In the cauldron boil and bake.
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adderโs fork and blindwormโs sting,
Lizardโs leg and howletโs wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh one time I was at a party and my friend said "What long and hard thing does a Polish woman get on her wedding night?"
And me being drunk and stoned and having read too many of the shocking jokes threads here mixed it up with "What's pink and 8 inches long and makes a woman scream?"
And I said "Stillbirth" when he was looking for "A new last name"
That was awkward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Since you have decided to sexually harass the staff, I am declining to serve you. You have 30 seconds to leave the shop before I call the police to escort you out."
My friend once said "I like my coffee how I like my slaves" in different parts of the country on a road trip. In alabama, the answer was "dark" and in california the answer was "Free"
When I was 17/18, I worked at a coffee shop that was connected to the church I grew up going to. We hand tamped shots, so if you wanted your espresso stronger or weaker, we could do that.
One day, a man I'd known since I was like, 5, ordered an Americano, extra strong. He then said "I like my coffee how I like my women." Now, before I tell you my reply, I need to let you know that my parents were friend with this man, and we knew his wife.
My response was "Bitter?"
Luckily, he thought it was hilarious. The correct answer was "dark and strong."
I worked for Starbucks and I was at the register and the customer orders a Tall Blonde with room for cream. My coworker on bar mumbles Iโll give a tall blonde some cream. I laughed but my shift took the comment as offensive. She got the guy fired.
shift lead is often shortened to just shift or just lead, also referred to as manager or keyholder or assistant manager. in foodservice those are usually all the same person, in retail it gets more complicated who is what role but I don't do retail so I couldn't explain it.
Really Jim? And what responsibilities does this title have, does it come with a pay increase? It sounds like a make-believe job. Do you want to keep referring to you with this made up title with no difference to work or pay? Because I can if you want me to...
One of the restaurants I worked at had a shift leader>senior shift lead>assistant manager>General manager. Some places have long chains. But we all would respond to the same calls from customers and keep learning our higher ups job to replace them. So some places shift can refer to shift leader and senior shift. As the bottom two rings.
it's a fucking joke -_- she seriousy got offended!?
C'mon. Whether or not that particular joke was appropriate, or part of a pattern, every functioning adult knows that "it was a joke!" doesn't mean something is appropriate. It's about as pathetic an excuse as "it was a prank bro!"
holy SHIT are people fucking senstive as hell
A guy whose job it was to serve families hot blonde coffees, said out loud in response to an order than he'd like to fill a hot blonde with semen. I mean if it was a first offense and not heard I might give him a warning, but otherwise, yeah, of course a store isn't keeping someone like that around. It's not sensitivity, it's about the most basic component of being able to do your job.
thetgi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well ok Iโd get mad if someone got offended over that in a casual conversation
But we are taking about a service industry, where PR is quite literally everything. I donโt think the guy shouldโve been fired but youโve gotta be aware of your surroundings my man
Man. I really hate how hostile work environment and sexual harassment has morphed into people seeming to be offended moreso because someone is โbreaking the rulesโ than because they are offended. Itโs almost more of a โwe arenโt supposed to say stuff like that and I donโt say stuff like that so I need to make sure you get in trouble for crossing an incredibly subjective line by all measures of humanism so that I donโt feel like Iโm getting cheated by following the rules strictly and absolutely.
Seriously, if we canโt joke a little bit and have a little fun by saying โIโll give a tall blond some creamโ then where does it end? I know where. When our brains are programmed to all think exactly alike and by someone elseโs code.
Seriously, if we canโt joke a little bit and have a little fun by saying โIโll give a tall blond some creamโ then where does it end?
Hitler. It ends with Hitler.
It definitely doesn't end with adults being held accountable for doing their jobs with professionalism, rather than being whiny entitled victims who claim their lack of adulting is a problem with society not pandering to their assholery. I mean, employers asking baristas to serve coffee rather than talk about semen is clearly the Matrix trying to make us into sheeple.
Sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously. Thatโs really the point Iโm trying to make. The idealist would say the world will be a better place once all jokes are held back because every joke has a victim. That once that occurs, we will all get along and world peace will emerge. The realist would say, people are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully.
Humans are awkward. But we are human. Of flesh and blood weโre made. If we are unable to live in a grey area, we imprison ourselves. Making stupid jokes with a friend at work is not equivalent to Hitler. I would argue that punishing people for making stupid jokes at work is more Hitleresque.
Iโm honestly confused at how so many people seem to support this movement. You ask someone personally and they would almost always agree weโve taken it too far. Yet we keep going that direction. How? If hardly anyone wants it, how does it continue that direction. Baffles me.
Ninja addition: I would bet my house that every single person that downvotes my above comment and every person that downvotes this one has made a comment at their work place that would fall under a punishable act under current workplace rules. And some probably do it daily. Empathy over hypocrisy.
The idealist would say the world will be a better place once all jokes are held back because every joke has a victim.
No one has ever said that. It's just a strawman.
The realist would say, people are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully.
Not sure this makes grammatical sense, but it appears to be just a nonsense way of saying "why do people care when I'm an asshole?" To which the answer is that there's a lot of people, and no reason for us to associate with or employ those who aren't worth our time.
Making stupid jokes with a friend at work is not equivalent to Hitler. I would argue that punishing people for making stupid jokes at work is more Hitleresque.
I was sarcastically using hyperbole knowing there are people out there who call every criticism of themselves "Hitler". You then seem to have unironically done the thing I was mocking, by calling an employer not wanting employees to reference semen in the customer's coffee "Hitleresque".
Iโm honestly confused at how so many people seem to support this movement.
What movement? The "employers firing employees when they fuck up" movement? This isn't new.
You ask someone personally and they would almost always agree weโve taken it too far. Yet we keep going that direction. How?
Because you are asking a hypothetical person a vague rhetorical question. You ask an actual employer why they fired an employee, and they'll give you actual reasons. The "people will be people" rationalization makes no sense except for the person who messed up and feels entitled to others praise, attention, or their employment.
You see how youโre taking my opinion on something and nitpicking it into individual items so that you can then pick them apart? Calling my statements straw man or whatever other term they teach you in debate class or on YouTube to diminish another opinion. Straw man, slippery slope, etc. are used to get points across. They donโt automatically disqualify an opinion. This isnโt a contest with rules. We are just people talking about an issue and how we feel about it.
I do agree with a lot of your comment and didnโt realize your hyperbole the first time through. Just growing frustrated with how people are so judgmental and rough on each other these days. We need to chill.
It's work, do you want some creepy dude to joke about ass raping you at work? No! You want to get your fucking work done! You NEED to get your fucking work done, you came here to work, not play, if you came here to play and joke, they'd call it Super Happy Fun Time.
scyth3s ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No one was joking about raping anyone
Some of us like to enjoy our work and the people we work with
Adult humor doesn't actually prevent work getting done
Nah I don't think it has anything to do with feminism, more about politically correct
Politically correct is what people call "being a stupid asshole" when they agree with the asshole and want to frame it as being victimized.
When a barista is asked for a coffee at a family friendly store, they should be able to refrain from saying they want to fill a woman with semen. Also if working at a donut store you should be able to refrain from making "oink oink" noises at police officers. It's your job. You are not entitled to your job, and you are not entitled to get respect after being an asshole.
The thing is that his comment targeted no one and when you say family friendly you're kinda saying "but what about the kids" while there was no mention of there being any kid around
Okay. But your boss telling you not to makes comments about women getting filled with cum when someone orders coffee at your job at Starbucks, still is not political correctness.
They have a job. They are given money to say and do specific things. Telling them also not to talk about pro wrestling, or abstract art, is also not political correctness. Definitely telling them not to reference their semen to coworkers or customers, or in earshot of either, is not political correctness. At that point it's just an overused term to try and defend whatever a person likes or agrees with.
Please explain this "non-sexual" form of liking coffee to me. Asking for a friend's hard boiled dick. As a detective who works long hours, he would probably appreciate not having to scald his balls anymore, which would allow him to actually finish the case he is working on. Something something penis.
havasc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But now it just sounds vaguely homophobic, or antisocial at the least.
โIโm sorry sir, we donโt have any $50 coffee here.โ
Canjap18 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:47:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Life long server here, I have a regular that comes in once a week. He tells that joke EVERY TIME he orders coffee(which is every time he comes in). Except the punch line is โstrong and black!โ
Heโs a 70 something rich white guy and never comes in with out his wife, who is also white. Iโve been working in this restaurant for 5 years and I stopped asking him how he takes his coffee after the second time I waited on him. But he insists on telling this joke regardless. He dies laughing EVERY TIME like is the first time heโs told the joke to anyone.
The look on his wifeโs gives is face melting and I just feel bad for her that she has to hear that joke at probably every restaurant they go to.
Whenever he says it, it is just as awkward as the first time he said it to me. I just move on with taking his food order with a straight face in hopes that he picks up on the fact that it was never funny to begin with. Tips are usually on point though. (She pays)
No this is funny. I like it. My moms black and my dads white and this was always my joke to them lol.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's a bit late to take it up now, but personally I think you should have made a point of just making increasingly more outlandish and or embarrassing guesses.
C0mpl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:50:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer black and strong. I'm a middle aged white dude so it comes across hilariously awkward when I'm out to dinner with the wife and kids and drop that one. Especially when I give the wink with the wrong eye.
This almost made me die. I cried from laughing instead and I woke up my boyfriend. I would say something like this. I'm not sure how my boss would respond though.
exbex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Company I worked for got bought out. My immediate boss had a meeting at the new HQ to meet his new boss and a few other office people. They're all white. He walks into the room and they offered him a coffee. He says sure and they ask him how he likes it. He replies "black, like my woman". His new boss say, without missing a beat, nice, I bet you'd like my wife (she was black).
heh my friend once told his gf to have a nice life one time when he was going home for the week or whatever then didn't know why she wouldn't talk to him or why her dad was angry at him when he next went to see her
ntrprtr ยท 3292 points ยท Posted at 22:42:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was very pregnant (about 6.5 months pregnant with twins) working at a call center and I got a cold transfer from customer relations from a super rude customer.
I greet him nicely and he interrupts me and asks: Can you see all my information and what I need or do I need to repeat it all over again? (Starts yelling and rants for about 3 minutes) and being the sensitive ball I was I told him:
"Sir, this is the first time I've talked to you, you just got transfered and need time to read the notes but it's very unfair that you're treating me like this, I was being super polite and you're yelling at me for no reason! (Now it was my rant for about 2 minutes) I will place you on hold and I'll read the notes, ok?"
When I put him on hold I was convinced that if my superior was listening I was going to be in trouble cause in CS they want you to let people walk over you and this customer was going to complain about me, but surprisingly when I came back from hold he sounded ashamed, he apologized to me and admitted he had been a dick to me for no reason and that he wanted to start all over and the rest of the call was super smooth but I was very scared while on hold.
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 1869 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best customer reaction you could have in that situation
Humans work on pattern recognition. If you let people be festering cunts with not even a snarky attitude in return for it, they never have any social reinforcement to not be a festering cunt. This doesn't just go for when someone is a customer either. If someone is being runny shit, tell them they smell, that isn't "intolerance" that's how society works and has worked for thousands and thousands of years. If you wish to and are able you can just ignore them, but do NOT oblige people acting like that (unless you have consequences over your head of course). But the same free speech that lets when say it, grants you every right to talk back.
miabelo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:23:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When my mum ran her own shop a few years back she had a really rude horrible customer who was this woman who'd come down to our tiny country town from the city for a weekend. She went off on one about how we didn't stock what she wanted and what was the point of us and then stormed off out of the shop. My mother just shrugged it off but a few hours later the woman returned all shamefaced and apologised and said she'd been having a bad day. I wish more people had the guts to do that, takes some serious courage.
Everyone has bad days and can fly off the handle. It's realizing it, apologizing for your mistake, and trying to make up for it when it happens that marks a responsible adult
A surprising number of people have responded very well to me calmly stating they are being rude and I don't deserve that. Makes me think many rude people are lost in their own experience and not true assholes.
There was a guy who was rude to one of my managers. he came in the next day to apologise.
tjfraz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I have called a company to complain and I'm angry, frustrated, etc. I always preface the interaction with the CS rep with "I apologize in advance for coming off like an asshole, it's not directed at you, but I know the call is recorded and it needs to be heard." I also make sure to get the person's name and then at the end of the call - as long as they were polite - I always end with "thank you [name] you've been extremely helpful!".
I've worked in CS for a long time and don't like to shoot the messenger.
The best CS experiences I've had from the level 1-2 people were from Navient/Sallie Mae of all companies. The company is shit and their reps get screamed at all day for stuff they can't control. If you kill them with kindness and apologize in advance for being irate and acknowledging that it's more of a venting session that needs to be recorded than targeting an innocent CS rep you get want you want a lot easier. I've gotten discounts, on special non-listed programs, interest rate cuts, etc. all because I wasn't a dick to the person on the other end of the phone.
CS reps are people and they have to deal with soul-crushing calls from people who are angry, depressed, or generally being screwed over for any number of reasons.
xRadix ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, companies don't make it easy on their reps. When I call in, lots of companies will have a crappy robot, that I have to press 5 buttons just to be sent to the wrong place, give all my information, be transferred, repeat, repeat. I'm on the phone for 15 minutes before I start talking to someone who can help. I'm not mad at the rep who has no control over any of that, I'm mad at the company for having a crappy system. Unfortunately, the rep has to deal with my frustration.
Yeah, definitely lucky that the customer was apologetic afterwards. Call centers can be absolute hell, especially because of this idea that we all have to bend to the customer's will - a lot of them learn that they will eventually get their way if they are rude and demanding enough.
I had one customer while I was still in training, I had only that day or the day before started taking calls alone, but I was still in the training process. I was in customer retention, and pretty much the highest level of customer service available (barring management and actual corporate retention, who don't take calls like we do). Right towards the end of my shift, I got a customer who has been with us for something like 15 or 20 years and was pissed that the new customer deals were better than what he was getting (which is a call I got a lot). Note that I dealt with household services, so home phone, TV and internet.
Being the level I was, I had access to a lot of discounts and credits to help keep people from disconnecting, so I started checking his services and reading his notes, and knew I was in for a horrible time when every single one of the notes on his file had some variation of "cx is very hostile and rude."
I knew it was going to be even worse when I went through his services and found out he was getting incredible promotions already - any given service could only have ONE promotion at any given time, and all of the ones I had would last 10 months at most, whereas he had on-going promotions (as in, they would go on forever unless removed or the service was cancelled)
When I calculated everything, I found out that he was actually getting a much better deal than new customers were. He was getting much better services, faster internet, all that for either the same price, or in some cases a lower price, with the added benefit of ALL of his services having on-going promotions, whereas all new customer promos had a limit of 12 to 24 months.
When I showed him that math, I was very quickly met with "well, I've been with you for x years, I'm a loyal customer, I deserve more!" and would not let it go. He said "the customer is always right" pretty much ever sentence, and refused to take no for an answer. Finally I was reaching about 30 minutes of this back and forth and it was time to escalate it to either our support desk or, worst case, management. He agreed to that, so I said they'd call back in 2-4 hours at most, and we were back to disagreeing, because he refused to hang up. He wanted to be put on hold until someone else would speak to him.
Even worse was the fact that our average hold time was one of our serious KPIs, so I had to take him off hold to assure him someone would be coming soon to keep my metrics in order, which meant he was getting angrier and angrier every time the hold ended and it was still me.
I ended up being over an hour late getting off my shift, had to have someone take over the call from my computer/phone, which meant I couldn't take any other customers, and he absolutely tanked my AHT.
I get that we need to treat customers with respect, and I agree that we should value our customers, but this whole "the customer is always right" and expectation of deferring to customers is, in my opinion, unhealthy and damaging. There are some cases when we really can't do more and the customer has to accept that. If they want the services they have, they HAVE to pay for them, and bitching and moaning should not fucking change that.
Ambitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of disheartening to know that this guy got really good deals every step of the way. It's just straight up evidence in favor of getting better results for being a dick...
To be fair it's really fucking annoying when you go through a computerised phone system, put in a thousand numbers and pass-codes, and then every rep you speaks to asks for the same fucking info. WHY did I have to put all that shit in to begin with if NOBODY USES IT?
We dont get the info, at least at my place. The phone rings and i answer, thatโs it... even worse is when a colleague just passes a call on without giving you any info.
The worst is that they start from the 1st step over again.
"Have you tried restarting it?"
Do you really think the other four members of your company are so incompetent that not one of them suggested that? That says a lot.
Nosiege ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm getting angry because I'm 4 people deep and no better off to having my issue resolved, I request to be transferred to complaints or someone I can speak strongly to.
That sounds like me on the other end. I am a great guy who has too much passion and gets overwhelmed and angry if I can't seem to solve a problem. I tell people I am a recovering asshole.
If you're at U.S. Bank, that was me. Sorry about that, it's just that I had been hung up on twice before this call, and transferred multiple times, to people who had literally no idea how to help me. I didn't start off a total asshat, but 90 minutes of being bounced around customer service hell made me pretty irate. You didn't do anything to spark my my ire, just the frustrating situation had sanded all my politeness away, and you handled it well to calm me down.
If that wasn't you, then that means THIS KIND OF SHIT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME AND WHY DO WE CUSTOMERS PUT UP WITH IT AND ALSO YOU HAVE THE WORST FUCKING HOLD MUSIC IN THE WORLD AND I HAVE HAD TO LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT ALL MORNING AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
...
Sorry, you didn't deserve that. I'll be calm.
ntrprtr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha no. Priceline sales, not even customer service.
When I worked at a call center, I did this sort of thing all the time. Most clients would fix their attitudes quickly, and apologize. Of course, this was a military member focused bank, so a lot of them appreciated when someone seemed competent, and stood up for themselves. Every now and then someone would get even more angry, and I would offer to get them to our Executive resolution team, but that was rare.
When I worked for a computer/phone manufacturer I got switched from phone tech support to computer.
Week two or three a dude calls with a problem I have never encountered anything remotely like. None of the leads, or other agents either.
I do my talk back of the problem while searching our internal help guides, no luck. I suggest a senior advisor, as they had the ability to reach back out to the customer and work longer on an issue.
He flips the fuck out on me calling me stupid, rants for a good 3-5 minutes. I use the time to make apologies and google the fuck out of it. When he's winding down I had found a longshot possible solution. I explain this, we try, it works.
As we are going through the closing spiel, and I'm typing up notes half paying attention he asks me if the reason I wanted to hand him off was because he was a douche. My "I probably shouldn't have said that"... "No not entirely" He laughed his ass off. I got a good survey from him.
My other one was one of our many conspiracy theory everyone is hacking me callers. She asked me about interstate telecommunication laws. I probably shouldn't have said "Ma'am my job training is in computer and tech repair, and my degree is in folklore, specifically appalachia, I am not nearly qualified to discuss the laws of telephone lines" Oddly again she took this very well and said she'd contact the state Attorney General.
I used to do this. I called it a penalty hold. The length of time for which I would place the offending grump on hold depended entirely upon how unnecessary hostile they were being. They almost always came back more calm and pleasant.
Late to the thread, but when I was in high school I worked at a pizza hut call center. This guy calls and orders a Big New Yorker, this 10 dollar extra large pizza that I dont think they sell anymore, but anyway I ask him "and what kind of topping would you like" and he yells. "WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PEPPERONI!" like it was the only possible choice, and even asking showed how stupid I was. And I just go "ok geeeez.... theres other toppings you know..." and then he started apologizing and saying hes had a rough week etc.
gumgum ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And what you don't know is that he had already been passed from person to person, none of whom listened, read the notes, or helped so his comment was not unjustified (been there done that).
And he sure as fuck couldn't see that you were pregnant through the phone - so how is that relevant? Except to get you sympathy points which is unfair.
Dealt with too many call center morons to be sympathetic.
ntrprtr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The pregnant part was meant to explain why I said that to him and that's exactly why it's in the "I shouldnt have said that" section. His attitude wasnt unjustified and he was right to be mad cause the agent that booked his package originally booked the wrong flight but I was very sensitive and snapped, but fortunately he was great and had a positive reaction to that.
The pregnancy part was to explain that she is very emotional. Not for sympathy points. And nobody should be treated badly just because they work for a company with a bad system
gumgum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread is about people expecting sympathy for being dicks. I am remarkably unsympathetic to people who work in call centers because they are remarkably unhelpful 9 times out of 10. Doesn't matter what your problem is, they have a script, don't listen, won't help. EVER. Then they bitch because you start getting a bit upset at the fact they won't listen, won't help and won't pass the call to someone who might.
I sold housewares at Macys. When you purchased something I'd be like "Now go and bake a cake!" when they bought a mixer or "Bet you cant wait to get those wrinkles out!" when their purchase was an iron.
One night a middle age to older man bought a meat pounder. I rung him up and said "Now go home and beat your meat!"
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 03:10:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never know what to say to cashiers who say stuff like that as I'm checking out, so I just kind of laugh awkwardly.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:47:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that's the worst to be told. I guess the point is to not have to reply, but what do you say? "HAHA THANKS I WILL BAKE MY CAKE AND ENJOY IT THANKS SALES PERSON"
Yeah, sometimes Iโll get comments like that on my groceries. I was buying my weekly groceries and the cashier asked with wonder what I was making tonight. It was like โumm, well this is going into a weekโs worth of meals...โ
I donโt mind having a microconversation along those lines, but it does feel a little invasive.
On the other hand, I did ask another customer to explain himself when he was buying egregious amounts of butter and powdered sugar at midnight. Turned out his wife was having trouble making a birthday cake for the kid, and he didnโt want to have to come out again at 2 am if she screwed up the second batch of frosting.
I sell Stihl products and always tell customers happy cutting or happy trimming, after selling chainsaws or weed eaters. Sold a leaf blower to a 25-30 year old blonde bombshell. Said happy blowing as I finished the sale
Oh boy. I had a moment like this once. There was a wine bag on the register in front of me and I couldnโt get around to grab it so I asked the customer if she could hand it to me so I could bag her wine. Instead I asked her to jack it off for me. I was completely straight faced when I said it and didnโt realize what came out of my mouth until she started laughing really hard.
This reminded me of when I was checking out a couple and the husband was on the fence about buying a bottle of Knob Creek bourbon. To which the wife replied: โitโs ok you can go grab your knob.โ Followed by an awkward pause and a laugh.
I was working at a client site, and just pissed at them. The problem was that my company fucked up, our inspector was an idiot who did nothing, and I was set up to fail. So I am in a meeting and they're demanding all this free stuff, and I blurt out:
"We're a Business NOT a charity"
They loved it, and the head texan was all like "Hey Big Boy, You've Grown Some Big Balls!"
Weird thing is they really helped me find a new job!
ToeChan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doug Dimmadome?
0RGASMIK ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 04:23:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Texans are weird, they like people who stick up for themselves even if itโs a threat. They can be really confrontational but if you fight back it doesnโt escalate the argument just kind of levels it. Not all of them are like that so itโs a fine line to walk. My boss goes all in and says shit like if you donโt like it you can get the fuck out or if you fuck around we shoot first.
If a customer gets mad at me I either act apologetic or say well thats too bad. The latter works better most of the time. We are a CA based company who deal with mostly Texan customers. Most of the confrontations are to see if youโre a pushover. Once they see you arenโt youโve passed the test and can converse like a normal person.
Very. With most of the guys I deal with I just ignore their attitude itโs pretty satisfying to watch them struggle to come around to a reasonable level. Usually they go from an angry little child to taken aback, then apologetic. Others you actually need to โfight backโ those ones you remember and start shutting them down right away otherwise they think theyโve won.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:48:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup my boss is an elderly woman not named Dixie but sounds similar. My boss has anger issues though so she usually just goes at your throat with no end in site. She pulls this banter with customers and vendors for fun but sometimes she takes it too far with them too.
Really its because texans have the mindset of "you've gotta earn my respect" and implement opportunities quickly for you to earn it if its gonna be earned at all.
Not a Texan, im from Louisiana. I grew up about 15 minutes from the texas border though.
I have 2. Once I was a cashier at a supermarket and the customer was involved with a church and asked "do you have any kind of preacher discount?" and I said "Nah, we're all pretty godless here at Super 1 (the name of the grocery store)." his wife thought it was pretty funny but he didn't.
Second one was at a large retail store. We sold fish there in the pet department. One of the tanks was empty and a customer wanted whichever fish was supposed to go in there. She said "you're out of those? You don't have any in the back?" and I said "we used to keep them in the backroom but they surprisingly died within minutes". She didn't think it was funny. But for real, what a stupid question. A lot of customers have zero idea of what "the back" actually is.
Ah, the magical Backroom. Where the ocean, lakes, and river all meet to have every type of fish they may need.
It's a couple of cardboard boxes, not fucking Narnia.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 01:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:59:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever heard it at gamestop as they may not have restocked whatever game or had extra used copies in the backroom, and they were the ones that offered; I never requested it. Super cool when they have it, but it's not a big deal if they don't ya know.
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:20 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my experience was from a grocery store so it's somewhat different but our "back room" was a couple of little stock rooms full of stuff for restocking shelves. In a retail store I could see them having something similar with maybe a few items available to keep shelves stocked. But yeah, with somewhere with fish, they would obviously keep their entire stock in the related aquariums since it would be silly to have multiple aquariums for the same fish.
I tried to explain this to my mom once when we were at Ulta and they were out of the shade she wanted, but she disregarded me and asked anyway. Then damned if they didn't bring it right out to her and make me look stupid.
I work in retail and a customer came in very late and asked if I had any of a particular product (out of stock in the front) out the back. I went out the back and found the product. It happens. Or maybe I just don't live in America where seemingly both servers and customers are retarded and basically in a war with each other.
I worked for a large retail store and would always "check the back" when someone asked me to; which involved going to the back and sitting there for 5ish minutes. It's not that I wouldn't have be able to find what they wanted in some cases, but it was a matter of time, the duties I needed to complete without getting in trouble with management, and the fact that the back was like a small warehouse. I was in shoes and they were often several shelves in on the 2nd and 3rd row....I would've needed to get a forklift operator to get down a wrapped pallet which would then need to be cut open for 1 item, then rewrapped and placed back on the shelf. The time and money it takes for a large store to get out 1 item is much more of a hassle than just telling the customer to check back the next day or whatever.
For a smaller store though, yeah, I don't see a problem with checking the back for an item.
Kh2008 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a smaller retail store as the stock manager and spent most of my time restocking/keeping track of everything, so I definitely knew whether or not we had it. But if I got asked to check the back, it was easier just to go stand in the stock room for thirty seconds then argue with the customer.
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a couple of cardboard boxes, not fucking Narnia
I am laughing so hard it hurts.
Nyx404 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, we call our backroom Narnia at the Petvalu I work at, because you have to go through a closet to get to it
kixstix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard at this. Narnia! That's exactly what they think it is.
To be fair if you work at a convenience store the back is pretty much exactly what the customer would expect. Or at least the one i worked at was. The only exception was anything that was required to be refrigerated. Only thing stacked in the back of the refrigerator were milk crates and certain energy drinks.
Edsman1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah except not always, at my last retail gig it was a literal warehouse underneath the store. Like actually larger than a two story suburban home packed full of boxes and shelves. Anytime people would be pissed I took too long to check stuff out Iโd be annoyed since Iโd just run up and down 3 flights of stairs and across a warehouse to try and help them.
Spire2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered what sprung customers into asking that. I've never asked nor ever thought about asking to check the vast room that is known as "the back".
My shop has stock guys and shop floor guys with radios through to the back. So yeah, if we don't have your size, I will ask stockroom to take a look. But I work at an incredibly busy, small store, so I imagine it's different for others. We restock floor every 3 hours or so, and there's usually only one of each size out, so yeah you want a medium? Oh I'm afraid that man is trying on the one we had out. So instead of asking me if we have any more, you're going to stalk that customer till they buy it... Or I could just get you another.
Xnics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Best Buy and asked a guy if they had a certain keyboard I was looking for, he said โwait here, Iโll go check to see if we have any in the backโ I wait there for 30 minutes, eventually I see him come out of the door he went in, empty handed, he makes eye contact with me for a second, and then walks in the other direction and starts talking to another customer
I worked at Best Buy and telling people that we were out of something was never good enough They'd want you to check "in the back" (despite the inventory system on the computer that tells you when things are not in stock). So on many occasions, I'd simply walk to the back, chat with the warehouse guys for a minute or three, and then come back empty handed. I already knew we didn't have any but the customer believes there's always more stock in Narnia.
But that guy was a dick.
Xnics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I looked at all the shelves, asked him if they had it, he double checked the shelves, then volunteered to check the back lol
When I worked for staples, people would always asked for whatever computer was discounted this week, and therefore out of stock since the first day of the promotion. I would pretend to go check the backstore because they wouldn't believe me otherwise.
I usually take that as an oppurtunity for a break, "I'll go check for you" proceed to check phone, eat part of my snack, sit down, then come back like "nope all out"
gd_akula ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They also think that we purposely leave empty spaces on the shelf so we can have the joy of running to the "back" to check.
OzMazza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:32:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I worked at a big box place and there was shit tons in the back. Like a whole 2nd more cramped store basically. But it was quite disorganized and could often be 30 minutes or more of searching if we had a low amount of something.
I've worked retail for years. Have you never ran out of something on the shelf but have it in the back? Pretty common, not sure how you're getting smug about it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:51:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked retail, I'd have customers ask me to check the back. Sometimes we'd have what they needed, other times no. If not, I'd just stay in the back for a few minutes, texting people or browsing facebook.
You should keep a box of goldfish crackers in the back just so you can bring it out for these situations and tell the customer that the fish still need to be rehydrated yet while scanning the box as if for instructions.
Bezere ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:20:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"No discounts? It's for a church hun, I need 20. NEXT!!"
Asking for a preacher discount? That seems super shitty to me. If their organization was somehow involved with a company and wanted to get a discount for a bulk purchase or something, that's one thing, but to say "hey I'm a preacher you gonna treat me special?" that's bullshit.
Oh he was for sure just bragging about his status. He kept bringing it up during the interaction and when he asked for the discount I was tired of his shit. I'm not religious but the irony is he was doing precisely what Jesus of his religion warned about in terms of the Pharisees reciting long prayers on the streetcorner in order to be seen, those that have already received their reward in full. In short, he was being an entitled shitburger.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:02:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to retrieve three pieces of merchandise from the back for three different customers today: probably a record for me. I was getting mad that I had to go back there so much. Why wasn't this stuff on the shelves?!?
Generally because companies choose to save money by being outrageously understaffed. A lot of the reason prices are so at Walmart is because there are much fewer employees than one would expect
It happens sometimes. But when customers are flabbergasted that we don't have the most in-demand item of the holiday season in bulk amounts in the back on December 22nd or ask how we can run out of an item that is on sale (because it's on sale, you aren't the only person who wants to take advantage of a sale) it just blows my mind
So, I am not a religious person. I did work in retail and I had people ask for discounts for all sorts of reasons. We sold school supplies and we were a block away from a university, but we didn't do student discounts. If you have tax exempt status, fill out a form, we fax it, and we you get you go into the system, now you're tax exempt. We give vets a 10% discount during the week of Veteran's day. We're a corporation, we have prices, we have policies, we're stingy. The church people would always get to me for a few reasons, though.
First, you don't have to pay taxes on all your income. My employer and I pay taxes for a bunch of stuff that you benefit from. People give you money and you read a book to them. Use that. You make so many pamphlets! Get a projector or something! Not everyone needs to have the program for every service!
All that being said, I hated my corporation. I worked in the copy center. I knew every pricing trick and every inconsistency in pricing policy. A lot of people came through for funerals. It was in a town with a lot of activists and some really crucial privately provided services. Asking me for a discount was usually a bad idea because if you were semi-decent, I was already giving you a lower price than a competent manager would allow me to give (I was safe because such an individual did not exist).
Buixer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:44:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me when I was at a PetSmart bathroom taking a leak and this male employee comes in and also relieves himself. We kinda walk out at the same time and I see him approach a customer and say, "Sorry, I checked and we don't have anymore of those in the back."
Depending on if a customer is shitty to me or not my trips to The Back may or may not be customer-initiated shit breaks where I will come back empty-handed and with my best fake customer service apologetic face
Honestly it's just a hobby of mine. Definitely not a fetish or anything weird like that.
Actually it just came about one day when myself and coworkers were insulting one another playfully and I told one of them that I hoped they ended up with a woodtick nest in their peehole the next time they went camping. Auto shops are strange
When I was working a retail fish department, someone asked if we were really all sold out of cocktail shrimp, or if we had some in the back "because it's New Years Eve, you should really have some."
I was in a grumpy mood from being there all day and said "Sure, let me grab it from the bin I back that I keep just for people who ask."
She got all excited and said "Really?"
"No."
My manager found it far less amusing then I did, but I got let off with a "don't do that again."
aescula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So so so many times I want to just show customers the stockroom, and go "See? No magic backstock of exactly the thing you need. No backstock at all. For the thousandth time, everything we have is on the sales floor."
All that would do is make them huffily tell you that you need to order more. And not set the prices so high and to stop moving things around so they can't find them. Because they think the part time employee making slightly above minimum wage is responsible for all that
aescula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great, then I'd have the fun of telling them that Ross doesn't really order stuff. We get random boxes of stuff, with no way to predict or control what we actually get.
Well then I want to talk to your manager! The store manager! The CEO of the corporation! This is an outrage and you have ruined my day and my marriage! I will be taking my 3 dollar purchase elsewhere!
aescula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"By all means you're free to contact corporate. The number is on the back of the reciept. Have a nice day!" :)
Had a customer come in freaking out because we didnโt have butter pecan ice cream. We were insanely busy and I called our grocery manager to see if we had any. Our store isnโt huge and itโs prettt easy to keep track of whatโs in backstock or not. I had also been back to the dairy freezer today and knew we didnโt have ice cream back there but I still checked to make sure. The guy comes back up to the desk and i tell him we donโt have any of the product back there but should be expecting a shipment on blah blah date. He just completely loses his shit, โoh ok he didnโt even look. You gonโ tell me he just magically knows whatโs back there?โ I was insanely stressed and tired so I retorted, โwell yes he does. Heโs the grocery manager and handles all product that comes in. He does in fact know whatโs back thereโ and the customer started shaking his head and losing his shit and saying how he used to work for our company and how heโs going to write a letter to corporate. I call my manager up to deal with him at this point and then he flips some switch and starts being nice to me and chatting me up before saying oh and if you donโt want to deal with mean customers you shouldnโt work in customer service. The guy was just so hot and cold the entire time he was there I didnโt know how to react.
A lot of customers have zero idea of what "the back" actually is
Ironically the back probably does have what their entitled boomer ass is rudely demanding for, but there is hundreds of boxes of shit everywhere and I'm gonna go there, fuck around on reddit for a few minutes, then come back out and say "nope sorry no more"
To be fair, every time I get fish from petsmart (I have an outdoor pond), they get them from the back. I have to ask if I like one of the fish in the show tank.
I cannot express just how right you are, so many customers come in with the question if we still have this or that product, I call in to my manager and he tells me we're all out of it for the day, customer demands that I go back there anyway "because you never know" products don't grow on trees back there folks.
Not something I said, but when I worked at a restaurant a customer wanted the football game turned on, and the bartender couldnโt get the remote to work so I went out to help her. I couldnโt find the game he wanted so he said โshouldnโt you be back in the kitchen cooking or something?โ I didnโt see any reason for him to say that, so I turned on Cartoon Network and took the remote with me back to the kitchen, and didnโt give it back. I shouldnโt have done that, but Iโm still glad I did.
As a 28 year old, I'd have been super happy to watch cartoon network. Best bit about a mid day Drs appointments is that they usually have Scooby Doo on.
I think dexters laboratory was on or something. Maybe the powerpuff girls. Regardless, he wasnโt happy about it, but I went back to the kitchen like I was supposed to so there was literally nothing I could do about it.
I used to work tech support over the phone for CenturyLink.
One day, I get a call at about 5PM Friday from a woman who is freaking out because she's going to have her kids over and they don't have internet.
Okay, I walk her through the troubleshooting and it turns out she's gonna need a technician. They don't do weekend stuff, so she's SOL for the weekend.
Cue a freakout. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY KIDS I HAVE MY KIDS THIS WEEKEND. THEY NEED XBOX AND CABLE. OMG. And on and on.
So I accidentally blurted out, "Have you tried paying attention to them?"
The line went dead silent. And then she hung up. :x Oops.
Used to do billing/tech support for Comcast a decade or more ago. A woman had been cut off due to non-payment, and asked what I would do in the middle of summer as a kid with no cable. I told her read... she wanted a manager. It was the truth we didn't get cable until I was 15 or 16.
Worked at telco in a Australia, strangely this call was common.. it like not having the internet for a day will not kill your children!
Sometimes depending on how shit of a human they were, I would deliberately book an appointment (even though not required), or schedule it a day later...
If you see your children only on weekends you better spend some time with them
oyam_ ยท 1847 points ยท Posted at 21:41:08 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a hotel as a front desk. This group of family comes in to check in and I hand them their room keys. I see the father go out the door but I didnt see the rest of the family take a left to our seating area/lobby. Well the father just swings open the door and doesnt close it. I let out a sigh and say "I hate lazy ass people that dont close the door" to my co worker. I see in the corner of my left eye the rest of the family giving me the death stare.
I believe I am qualified to answer this! Basically, you apply online and within days, your contract will be ready! From then on its just smooth sailing!
I didn't notice this the first time I read it. When I read your comment, I looked back at the original comment and instantly started full on wheeze laughing, crying, trying to explain to my husband why I'm dying. Thank you omg
Is that a clever way of saying you charge strange people money to be inside you for a while?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE HOTEL
Vatimus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time at my job a lady asked me to put her in a room where there wouldnโt be birds outside because theyโre โtoo noisy and chirp too much in the morning.โ No, Iโm not joking. Lady, I donโt control the damn birds!
Another time a building a couple hundred feet away had their alarms go off, werenโt shutting off for like 30 minutes until the cops came...and then it happened again and this entitled old man comes down and is FURIOUS. He blames me for the alarms in ANOTHER BUILDING going off, says that he is going to call the police on ME when I say I canโt do anything about it, and proceeds to dial their number as they are PULLING UP TO THE BUILDING. I finally say I can give him a discount, and he has the audacity to end our nice little conversation with โLook, I donโt blame you.โ before he leaves. BITCH FUCK YOU. YOU JUST THREATENED TO CALL THE COPS ON ME FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL.
I chime in with a โhavenโt you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door? No? Itโs much better to discuss these kinds of things with a kind of poise and rationalityโ
dude, I was working front desk one night and this dude come in drunk off his ass, gets on the elevator and goes up. a few minutes later I got an emergency call from the elevator.
"HELP HELP IM IN THE ELEVATOR HELP!!!"
So I panicked and hauled ass to the elevator and pressed the call button. it came down and opened....
Dude was sitting on his ass in a corner looking down. As I stepped forward he looked up, and with the utmost gratitude in his eyes, asked if I could press the button for his floor.
But... how is he lazy for not closing a door? Maybe he left it open for his family, or he was putting up his stuff? Or maybe he was very tired? And besides, how is it any of your business? No offense, but you are kind of a dick, dude.
oyam_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was my fault for assuming, however he did not return. Also it is common to close the door after you leave especially if the door was closed.
Iโm a legal secretary. One day my phone would not stop ringing and I was getting pretty annoyed with being interrupted. I got a call from a client who asked for one of my lawyers (who just didnโt want to take the call). I said my standard line of โsheโs just away from her desk at the moment, can I take a message?โ Client said that they would just hold and for some reason I replied with โoh no, I think sheโs in the toilet, Iโll get her to call you backโ.
I need to keep the line open as I am waiting on another call. Iโll have the message given to her ASAP.
Or..unfortunately our phones cut off after exceptional hold times so Iโll have to go with having her call you back.
Toilets good too though. ๐
Verneff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:58 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work we've been joking about needing basically a black hole extension where we can drop people like telemarketers who are willing to go on hold. It would play hold music and would let them sit there indefinitely.
I guess thatโs..... slightly more dignified than โheโs in the crapper?โ
Piee314 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:45:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where to?
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I misread that as "He's removing his bowels" and just pictured how bad of a client they would need to be for someone to basically just go kill themselves rather than take the call.
Yes. The better/only option is โIโm sorry, NAME has stepped away from his/her desk at the moment. May I take a message or connect you to voicemail?โ
I HATE this. "Oh I'll just hold." Yeah and I'll just keep the line busy while my colleagues struggle to pick up the other calls waiting to be answered.
She can call you back after one hour... No, sir, I am looking at her schedule right now, and an hour is marked off from 3 to 4 pm to "move her bowels"... Yes, I can see here that she had a lunch meeting at that Mexican restaurant, and she must have gotten the chimichanga again.
I like how you really took it to the next level and said in the toilet. That client must have immediately been like "holy shit that sounds bad. Okay have her call me back". Lol
Leharen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a bookstore at the mall. It was toward the end of the night and there were barely any customers, so my coworker and I were mostly slacking off. This guy came in and wanted to return something, but he didn't have a receipt, and started arguing with my coworker about it. We needed a receipt to process a return--the original receipt had to be initialed and turned into corporate, so we couldn't process his return without it. He was a real dick about it, but after several minutes of arguing he finally seemed to accept that we weren't processing his return and walked off.
"Jesus," said I, believing he had left the store. "That guy was a real fucking douchebag." Just as the guy in question returned to the register to make an actual purchase.
amelrake ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 04:23:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing happened years ago to one of my co-workers. It was on Halloween and she was in a costume that restricted her movement, I think it was a shark costume or something. She had a customer at the service desk that was giving her a hard time. At one point she turned around to check something behind the desk. When she turned around he was gone. She loudly proclaims that the customer was a real asshole. Unbeknownst to her he had just bent down to tie his shoe. He hears this and slowly starts standing, making eye contact the entire time. She turns bright red and decides to try and make a quick getaway, but she can't because she's wearing this costume so it was more like a moderate waddle away. Another associate stepped in to help the customer and calm him down. Surprisingly my co-worker did not get in any trouble.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 07:38:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sk3lt3r ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 03:55:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this the other day with a lady who was being really fucking rude to me. The bone chilling fear of getting caught by the very customer you're shit talking...
He heard me, but either a) didn't realize I was talking about him, or b) felt shamed into silence, because he, I, and my coworker all pretended nothing had just been said. I never got in trouble. It was so weird.
Had a woman ask how my day was going while I was fitting her bra. I said it was mostly good, but (because it was the Christmas rush) we had a few customers who were really impatient and cranky. (In my defense I was really young and hasn't learned not to be so honest at work). Some random lady comes out of the change room shaking with anger and said 'i think I'm allowed to be impatient when I had to wait so long for a change room'. I hadn't been talking about her at all , She hasn't made any impression on me but wouldn't believe me when I told her so so I said 'why would I talk about you when you're in earshot still?' It was not well received.
On call with a member who just had all his accounts frozen. No notes on why or what happened. The department that would have the answer left for the day already. This dude was understandably pissed. Nothing I could do, nothing management could do. After the exchange and giving the member the number to that department and their hours I told him "have a great day" without thinking. He responded with a pissed off sarcastic laugh and hung up.
Used to dispatch for a short time, and I've said this after a few very difficult calls out of exhausted reflex. In that moment I've never wanted to fall off the face of the Earth more.
I had pretty much the exact same thing happen. For relevance, we normally don't have customers who call to us. The majority of our calls are from employees and contractors with the company we're contracted to.
Anyway, the customer called us due to an issue on his account (due to something on his end, not the company's end). He was not happy right from the start, and when I told him that we were only able to take his information and direct it to the people who can handle his issue, he got even more annoyed. I told him that I didn't have access to any of his information (which I didn't) and he told me I should "put my big boy pants on". Apparently he thought I was lying to him. Regardless, after listening to him swear and complain for a couple of minutes, I interrupted him and said something similar to "There's nothing more I can do for you; I guess have a nice day".
He then yelled over the phone that I didn't need to patronize him and some other stuff that I didn't catch since I removed the phone from my ear and hung up on him.
I wasn't intending to be patronizing, but I honestly didn't care at all about his issue. He should've done what he was supposed to do on his end. ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
My wife was in an accident when she was pregnant - driver leaving Adult World T-boned her, spinning her car off the road, then fled the scene. Fortunately, she was unhurt but was seriously shaken up. She called 911 first, then me, and then was on the phone with her insurance when I got there. They seriously pissed her off by trying to upsell her on several things and finished by wishing her a great day.
I do this literally all the time to people without meaning to. They could be telling me about how theyโre about to fly out to their grandmotherโs funeral, and Iโm so programmed by customer service that as they leave I still tell them to have a great day.
Unless this calls about money i can still see him having a nice day.
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I work in IT so a lot of the calls I get are people having issues and often them calling in is reporting the issue but I'm not able to resolve it on the call. I've gone from "have a nice day" to "Take care". The amount of times where someone has called in with their entire company offline and I hang up with "Have a nice day" only to facepalm afterwards kind of forced it.
I'm a bartender. One day this couple came up and the dude ordered a beer and I asked his wife if she wanted a drink as well, and she responded "I can't drink." Reflexively I said "Not with that attitude!" which was not entirely appropriate given that she was pregnant.
I've learned you never assume a woman is pregnant. Never. Even if she's laying on her back, legs in the air, and the fetus is fucking crowning in front of you, you don't assume she's pregnant.
Yeah, and also you feel symphatic for them because they genuinely feel offended, angry and sad for many daily things, so the emotional rollercoaster isn't fun for them either, and they probably are trying their very best to keep their emotions in control and not appear unnecessarily easily offended.
Yeah, and also you feel symphatic for them because they genuinely feel offended, angry and sad for many daily things, so the emotional rollercoaster isn't fun for them either, and they probably are trying their very best to keep their emotions in control and not appear unnecessarily easily offended.
I just wanna point out there's all sorts of reasons people "can't" drink (alcoholism and medication interactions come to mind immediately) ... so even if she weren't pregnant, you shouldn't have said that. Which I'm sure you know, but just want to point it out in case.
I can definitely see where you're coming from, but being in his profession I think being quick witted and able to talk to others in a light-hearted way is an important skill to have. Granted, situations like this come up where it's taken the wrong way and in hindsight may have been a bad move, but I feel it's important to weigh up intention against the way the comment was taken here.
Bingo, I knew it was a dumb thing to say as it was leaving my mouth, but that's the point of this thread, right? My brain was like "Don't say that, are you kidding me," but my mouth was like "say it, it'll be funny."
Uhm, why? This has definitely happened to me as a pregnant woman and I never once became offended. When you're sitting down and there's a huge shelf covering you from the tits down it's hard to tell. Jeesh...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:18:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But saying "not with that attitude" with an attitude like that to the customer who clarified not being able to drink alcohol is quite ironic. The op here is clearly was a douche bag like more than half of the people who answer the question, we find it here hillarious but if they were in real life and said these shits to us, we would wreck their shits with their douche attitudes.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:28:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a coffee shop. We didn't open to the public until 7am but staff arrived at 6am to clean and prep the shop. On the front door we had a metal shutter that was 3/4 down and I was busy mopping the floor. One lady just limboed underneath it and asks me for a latte to go at around 6:30am whilst I'm mopping the floor and all of the chairs are up on the tables.
I reply; "sorry we aren't open, you'll need to leave"
"Yeah, but I just want a latte."
"I just said we aren't open. Please leave."
"Oh c'mon, it's just a latte!"
I hold up my mop "try again at 7am when we are open."
She storms out of the shop and yells "You've just lost a customer!"
"We need to be open first to have one, you moron!"
I had a lady try to buy a coffee from me while I was opening the snack bar at a bingo hall. I was counting out my lottery cards for the day (I also had to sell lotto cards cause they couldn't afford to pay the lotto guy and me) with all the lights off, I had literally just gotten there and wasn't due to open for at least 30minutes
I told her "sorry, I'm not open yet, you can come back at 4 and I would be happy to serve you" she just huffed and said all she wanted was a coffee, so I pointed at the machines "sorry again, I haven't made a pot yet as you can see, I haven't even turned on the machines." she left with another huff
later during intermission she came back and said "are you ready to get off your high horse now and serve me?" while my back was turned, and I just turned around with my mouth open just flabbergasted at what she said and I stammered out "... what?... pardon me?" and she threw her arms up and said "I guess not!" and stormed off. it was the weirdest fucking interaction of my life
One time this customer stood in the wrong line for like 10 until he got in the correct line where he had to wait another 15 minutes, when he got to me he was pretty annoyed and, for some reason, I decided to joking tell the guy that he had to back to the other line for what he needed. He didn't laugh.
Some people just weren't made to understand humor.
I work for a state assistance office in the states (AKA welfare office) and am the only worker at my location. One day i ended up having an extreme hoarde of people come to me (2) and had to request the second guy wait in the hall until I was done with the first. 15 minutes later I retrieve the guy, apologized and tried to lighten the mood by pretending to adjust my invisible tie, like a used car salesman, and ask what it was gonna take to get him into a shiny new benefits package today. He was not amused.
Had a similar experience the other day. I work at a university part time, so there can be some interesting folk walking around. As I was driving up, I saw a pedestrian walking down the sidewalk...strangely. Really feminine walking, but they had the build of a man, but the fucking walking was throwing me off. I came to the conclusion that the pedestrian was a wide-backed woman on account of the hair and the wall.
Boy, the full beard on the front was a shock.
mjxii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was making a sandwich for a lady and a regular customer came in. I'll call him D. Usually by day he paints and is pretty normal. But at night, he's my favorite drunk who comes in. He's fun and hilarious. So he comes in and I wave and say hi. The girl smiles and excitedly says "You know him?"
And I said something along the lines of "he's a fun drunk"
The girl tells me he's her brother.
Even though she said it nicely, it still seemed like she was bothered by it.
I realized what I said and tried saying things like "he's one of my favorite people that come in here" because I didnt want her to think I was judging him (I wasnt)
[deleted] ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 10:45:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would take that as meaning "He's fun when he's in here, a drinking establishment, drinking" but I suppose she just hear "He's a... drunk", perhaps because she's sincerely worried that he is a drunk. Sounds like a him issue not a you issue.
I used to work at fast food restaurant that legit just Work you to the bone, when Iโm saying I was pulling doubles, like 6 AM-6 AM, and I was really tired and I had just worked three back to back shifts and this guy pulled up to the window and heโs all like โI hate your fries, I hate your sandwiches, I hate your fish, your food always cold โand me being me my instant response was โwhy do you come here then? โ, Needless to say I was sent home that day and got a write up but if anyone is interested in the guys response he said โyouโre rightโ then pulled out of the drive thru.
I mean.. that's really the only response. Both your's and his. Also, who thinks it's a good idea to work anyone that long? that place must have been terrible, both to work at and to eat at
It was hard times for my family, we needed money, both my older brother and I worked jobs like that until my mom got it together enough to let us live our lives.
Edit: I love my mom she was just a young mom who knew nothing about life and had way to many mouths to feed
I worked as a server at a restaurant. We only had about four dessert items which we would tell to customers because we didnโt have a dessert menu. One time, at a table full of women, I was asked for a dessert menu. I responded, โwe donโt have a written menu but I can give it to you orally.โ She was appalled. Her friends thought it was hilarious. I probably should have said, โverbally.โ
It could easily mean the menu items. I gotta be honest, if you say something normal that could also be a an entendre, I'll probably just ignore it. I think it's embarassing for grown adults to make fun of or get mad at something like this.
Indeed.
I canโt know for sure that she was appalled but the look on her face suggested as much.
Oupote ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 01:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had this customer that was ignoring her demon children screaming, kicking, and knocking things over in the store. When she was leaving and one of the kids was trying to steal something, I asked for it back. She went off about how I've hated them since they walked in and that I was racist and in my frustration I said something along the lines of "no, I just think you're a shitty mom"
It ended well, I wasn't fired and they never came back.
Keyra13 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can see why that would get you in trouble but at the same time what did she expect? Glad it ended well
Good gravy what a terrible parent, flipping out because you stopped her larva from thieving!
ETA: I mean, it's not prejudice, I'm sure you don't allow ANYONE to steal the merch right? UgH!
I work at a pharmacy and we sell hydralyte and a guy asked what flavours we have and I said โblack cunt flavourโ perfectly enunciated and at full volume instead of black currant flavour and I will never live that down although we had a good laugh about it
UK? Black currant isn't common in the U.S., which is a shame because I love that stuff. Lingonberry too. Waaaay better than the over sugared mainstream fruit jams.
That's because the farming and import of Ribes was made illegal in the early 1900's in order to save the logging industry! The federal law was turned over to the states in 1967 and only some of them have overturned it. Prior to that black and red currants were popular in the US, but I guess 50+ years of unavailability means no one knows what to do with them anymore.
Sorry, I recently read up on currants and now I know too much about it for a normal person.
Almost certainly. Berry currants (as opposed to the kind that are actually raisins) are in the genus Ribes. Black currants are Ribes nigrum and red currants are Ribes rubrum. Both were outlawed by the US in the early 1900's. (Which obviously I said above, lol.)
Some states are (as you said) allowing them though. I have 4 varieties here in California. I'm particularly fond of the ribes odoratum 'Crandall' because it smells like cloves when it blooms.
I mean, trying to say it out loud, unless I really focus on the word, I slur out "Black Curnt", so I get it.
Cflynn00 ยท 312 points ยท Posted at 01:51:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This took place in either 1999 or 2000. I was working at a Walmart while going to school and starting to get stressed out with everything on my plate. I had a customer come in and ask where we kept our audio cassette holders. I told them that we donโt carry them anymore so they asked where they could buy them. Before my brain could come up with an answer my mouth answered โAn antique store?โ Thankfully they laughed at my answer.
I work in a library and a while ago we had this kid in who left all his stuff on a desk somewhere and came back right after we had closed to get it. There were four of us, coats on and ready to leave, just watching him and waiting. He looks at the group of us, shrugs, says and says "soz". Just that one word made me want to kick him.
I had a long day as a cashier for the third day in a row, so I was kind of giving less shits then I should have been. Iโm checking out a customer who is face timing her friend and just going โI canโt believe you left me thereโ and โoh my god you are so terribleโ; so after hearing this for two minutes I just go โwhat an asshole.โ Customer did not appreciate it.
I figured out recently how many days it takes for me to have a mental breakdown from being stuck on register with the store being black Friday busy for most of those days.
I HATE people being on their phones while in the checkout line. If you're in the process of getting rung up, GET OFF YOUR DANG PHONE! It is RUDE in the extreme, because what if the cashier needs to ask you something or clarify something? I HATE this, and I'm a millennial!
ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ You work holiday season back to back to back and not be a little exhausted at the end of an eight going on nine hour shift. I should add that I was still new to the job and not fully adapted.
[deleted] ยท -114 points ยท Posted at 04:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, it's not cool to hate on some people for doing an honest job. 1) everyone has to start somewhere and 2) it makes you look like an asshole. No one likes people that look down on others because of their age or their position.
respectfully-- I'm not sure it's a millennial thing as much as each person's individual perspective on life. no matter what the generation, 8 hours back to back to back in retail for the holidays might be the hardest thing they've ever had to do. for someone else, being adjusted to working heavily all the time, is simply life for that person. we only know what we can see from our own little window. I wouldn't be so quick to disparage the new generation and make someone feel trivial or lazy for sharing an experience that you personally wouldn't find to be so difficult.
kiwimag5 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:00:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
xOm3ga ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:37:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you just have priorities that are as shitty as your disposition
Snote85 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:32:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my mother? She was a teacher for over 30 years with perfect attendance. I know that because she lorded it over every other human she interacted with like it was some kind of prize to kill yourself for your job and do nothing but hate it so much you can't stop talking about it. No one cares. No one. Not a single soul gives even the slightest shit how much you did at your job and how that entitles you to anything. You're wrong in thinking it should. Everyone is different and everyone matters as much as you do, if not more. Because at least they can get through their day without saying, "That's the most millenial thing..." when your older generation shit on you just as much as you're shitting on "millennial". Get over yourself and take a moment to reevaluate what matters to you if you're complaining about someone talking about being taxed at work. I also PROMISE you that I have heard people your age complain about as much, if not less, than what that person is complaining about.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 05:39:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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Snote85 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:41:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's the first time you've brought it up doesn't mean it's the first time you've thought about bringing it up. Like I say though, no one gives a shit how much you do. I owe you nothing and don't care if you carry the weight of the world on your back. It's your decision and you can be happy about that or not. It's meaningless to everyone else but you.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:46:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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Snote85 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hate you and you're not proud of working hard. You're overcompensating and using it to define who you are. Proud is looking at what you've done and internalizing that accomplishment. Telling someone who had a long day they didn't have a long day is just being an asshole. :D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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Enguhl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working 55 hours a week isn't the limit of human capacity either. Maybe you should learn some discipline and work ethic before bashing how much other people work. And for someone claiming other people like to project, I could hook a laptop up to you and do a six hour PowerPoint presentation on synergy in a business environment without worrying if the people in the back could see.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:02:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take a vacation, you sound like you need one.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:43:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:45:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! In your basement, eating your avocados, with the fan on so I stay chilly, cause snowflakes don't wanna melt. Fight me.
Wow 55 hours that's not even half what I work every single day. Hard manual labor combined with technical support. After work I like to lift weights while beating my meat real tender, it has been marinating all day! Such amazing steaks here in Minnesota. Oh by the way, you take vacations? What a lightweight! Please post more about how you work harder than everyone else, but it's no big deal because you consider it "light" also congrats you work harder than some teenager at their first job, want a medal?
mathrio ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:53:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! Your medal is in the post.
Why are you so salty tho?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've worked 14 years consecutively without as much as a week break in between jobs. I've had one single 10 day vacation in 14 years. My typical week is 55 hours.
Because letting your employers shit on you means your "disciplined." Good one.
mathrio ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Early retirement made you salty?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:39:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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mathrio ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:59:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What makes your think I don't get it right now? Truth is, you're salty as fuck or you simply would not be responding to me or taking precious time out of your important day to let someone on the internet know how much their opinion doesn't matter to you.
You come across as a sad individual, I have pity for you.
kylexxyy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:44:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even trying to sound rude but it seriously sounds like you need to find a new job or go back to school to get a better one if you can't get more than one vacation in over a dozen years. I'm not sure if that's from poor planning or affordability or what, but that's not something to be proud of in any way. Im a millennial with a fairly minimal education and i work for myself, I work a good amount of hours now and used to do manual labor for 50+ hours a week, so working a desk job now leaves me with way more time and energy(not to mention money), and I still found time/money making a 3-400$ a week and digging holes to go on vacation once or twice a year.. it's really not the craziest thing in the world to plan and save a little bit. I'm not really sure what you're getting at by saying that or how that's a good thing.. I really don't mean to be rude, but that to me just says poor planning or poor choices as to what you do with your money or time off. I mean I know people have extenuating circumstances (health problem for me, but not too expensive), but still, barring a few things such as that it seems like some not great choices were made if you've only been able to take one vacation in a dozen plus years of working, its not like you just moved out and needed to get on your feet. again, really not trying to be rude or attack you, but if what all you say is true, It sounds like choices you made rather than necessity that led to not having a vacation for so long or working so long without a week break or etc. I really would not be proud of that if that's true. Really would recommend going back to school if all you say is true. I went back to finish my bachelors (almost there) and recently started working in my field for myself after manual labor for about 8 years.. It's not easy and it's not killer money being freelance, but it gets me by and definitely easier to plan time off for vacations or etc! Again, really don't mean to sound rude, I just think maybe something is wrong with your planning or choices that were made if what you say is true. A friend of mine I really respect is in his mid twenties with about a half dozen rental properties he started buying in high school because his parents made him to invest, and making a good salary just from that as well as working a lot more than you do as a construction foreman with real responsibilities, and he will be retiring by the time he's about 40 if not before,l with a much better income than you or I. I just say that because he's a millennial, I'm a millennial, and according to one of your comments you said something about being one yourself if I'm not mistaken.. So I don't see any point or evidence to that millennial comment and I don't think anyone gets an award or commendation for working to pay their own bills, but about the rest of what you said I would really take another look at things if you think that's something to strive for or be proud of. I mean good for you I guess for working and not being a bum and paying your bills like 98% of other people, but sounds like you really haven't progressed financially or with your saving/planning nor have you gotten a further education or tried to start your own business, etc after fourteen years if what all you say is true.
My typical week is 55 hours (which in my opinion is light).
I make more than enough
I work hard so that my family and I can live happily.
So you work 55 hours a week (which in your opinion is light), even though you dont have to since you make more than enough, so you can live happily with your family, who you cant be with because you work 55+ hours a week.
If I were a lazy piece of shit like you - you can rest assured I wouldn't be using myself an an example.
I'm 28 and I make more than 300k a year haha - money that I use to vacation with my wife and kid on my time off
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Nope, I haven't really been able to afford any type of gaming system since the xbox 360. My boss just got a switch and plays it at work though, looks pretty fun."
sure why dont you just PM me your SS number and full name first and then I'll be more than happy to show you my bank account. if you dont believe the paystub that i printed off and wrote on why would you believe a screen shot of a bank account? i could totally just use one of those free bank account creation tools on the internet.
elsharra ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 02:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Tim Hortons, a really hot guy orders a fruit explosion muffin (a muffin with berries and a jam-goo injected inside). They were a new menu item and he asked me if I liked them, I said not really "I have to be in the right mood to have something shoot warm goo in my mouth".
Edit: I hate fruit goo. I dont like fruit pies, or pastries, not really a fan of jams. I totally didn't realize how sexual it sounded till about five minutes after he left, then I was utterly mortified.
samboydh ยท 1972 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for TSA. Now working day after day taking crap from passengers, you get a little immune from speaking your mind but today was not one of those days.
It's 6 am in the SouthWest terminal so its peak rush-hour and every lane is open and packed. I am working the divestiture position, so basically I'm standing behind the table in front of the machine to make sure you had everything just right and answer questions.
Keep in mind, what you are asked to do wont always make sense. Even the officers have occasional WTF moments when we get a rule change. Some come from headquarters, some are local management made up things, and some come from airport stakeholders. The company providing the security bins sold advertising to pay for the cost of new replacement bins every 6 weeks or so, as such they did not want people putting their shoes in the bins and getting them muddy or wet. So being a good officer, I had to tell people not to put shoes in the bin and take them out.
Next in line is a group of your usual early 30' something business bros dressed up casual. Cool. The first guy put his shoes in a bin with his coat and ignored the usual spiel leading to this interaction.
Me: I'm sorry, No shoes in the bin. I'll need to put them on the belt.
Bro: Those shoes are $200 designer shoes, you cant expect me to take them out (These shoes were some beat up Adidas with dirt all over them and quarter size holes in the toe box.)
Me: (Turning to the guy,) These shoes are torn up, they cannot be worth that much (and in a smooth motion I take them out of the bin and toss them on the belt.)
Bro: Did you really just do that, don't you know who I am!?!
Me: ( I look him up and down and say,) Sir, you are flying SouthWest. You cant be that important.
The fellow bros just started dying of laughter and have to hold themselves up with the tables. Head bro turns beet red and scurries off to the scanner. Realizing what I have said scurry back to the podium and tell the manager that I said something stupid, he may have an angry passenger headed his way, and I was going to hang out on a different lane till the guy passed by. I never got in trouble and the passenger never complained, but that was by far the best on the job burn I have delivered.
This might be my favorite one so far. Also, you might appreciate an interaction I had with the TSA during my punkish teen years:
For whatever reason I would always, always, always get pulled out of line for secondary screening. It had been that way for years. No matter how I dressed, no matter how late or early I was, or what airline I was flying. I was guaranteed to get the freedom fondle. So one day I have a cross-country flight and I just decide "fuck it". I show up wearing a bullet-belt, spikey bracelet, giant mohawk, grease-stained wife beater & leather jacket with studs and shit all over it, steel-toe boots, and nearly a dozen face piercings. I would have gotten searched going into a night club, let alone an airport.
What does the agent do? Guy busts out laughing. Says to me "do you not know where you are? Did you not know you were going to an airport when you woke up this morning?" then he yells at his boss "Hey Tony, get a load of this guy! Aahahaha!" After a couple more agents get a laugh, I'm waved through. Dude says "No one who's doing anything illegal would call that much attention to themselves, just walk around."
Funny little thing that happened to me. Was traveling for work with my coworker. He's a white man with a shaved head (he's balding and had some stubble growing back in at this point) around about 50 years old. I am a 24 year old guy that has a beard. Thing is when I don't trim my beard for a while and it REALLY grows out and gets long I often have people assume I'm from the middle east. Like I have even had other middle eastern people ask me if I'm from Iraq.
So I hadn't trimmed my beard and was flying out of the San Antonio Texas airport. I had joked earlier before we got there that I was going to get pulled for additional screening.
Nope, they pulled my 50 year old white coworker to give him a test for traces of explosives on his hands while I stood to the side and watched his bag. We joked about it a fair bit after we got back home.
samboydh ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So true. Don't worry about how you think they want you to look, You can always tell when someone seems off because they are wearing a personality shell.
Moved when I was 18, made some trips back home between 18 and 20. Before that I would occasionally go with my partner at the time when she was looking into colleges or visiting her family out of state for the holidays, and as a younger teen it was because my grandparents have a farmhouse out east that I'd go visit from time to time in the summers.
(Edited for completeness and spelling.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Studded leather and painted band names too right? Ex-teenage rebels unite my man
I travel for business and I wouldnโt even look at a TSA person wrong. I canโt afford to miss a flight ever. And half the time I am trying to get home and all I wanna do is go the fuck home and water my garden and pet my cats. Whatever the fuck those people tell me to do is exactly what Iโm gonna do.
a random TSA douche just got an authoritarian erection
samboydh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:21:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Southern airports are the worst for making up BS strange ass rules that are only designed to make things more difficult. If you protest, they seem to take joy in making your experience miserable.
I transferred from a CAT X west coast hub airport to a CAT II southern and that shit was like night and day. I had a co-worker who would yell at passengers who didn't speak English as if that would magically make things better. I'm just trying to play charades over here and she just barges in to only get louder.
I can't believe people have the balls to say shit to the TSA. I fly a fair bit and I'm always worried I'll let pulled out of line for forgetting a mint in my bag. :P
Though I do frequently wonder why every single airport has different rules for going through the TSA line and why every time I go through O'Hare and LAX it seems like the pre check line is longer and slower than the normal line...
samboydh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I flew after being an officer I just kept turning to my husband saying, " they cant do that, that' not SOP" " You don't have to separate that, it's not a laptop."
He just turned to me and said, "Welcome to the fucking TSA."
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guess the rules don't matter,as long as someone get punished for something it looks like they're doing something to help security.
Piee314 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:47:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No shoes in the bin.
I am honestly a pretty reasonable guy and don't bear the TSA a lot of ill will, but that would be infuriating to hear. It's already so arbitrary, that just takes the cake.
Great story though. It's nice to hear from the other side.
Having worked for the TSA as well,I felt like it was a crap shoot as to whether the shoes were in the bin or on the belt any given day. Not that it really matters all that much, those bins hardly make a difference in the x-ray.
Last time I took a flight, they let us keep our shoes on.
Except my shoes, for some reason, set off the machine.
I hate flying, but for different reasons.
I'm so glad I use TSA pre check. It's so nice to not be treated like a terrorist. I once had a 5 minute conversation with the metal detector agent about the MCU. That shit would never fly in a normal line even if it was slow.
Anyway, good on you for not taking someone's shit :)
Oh, I have had some deep conversations with passengers on both pre-check or standard lanes when the checkpoint is jammed and I am stuck at the metal detector. Just depends how sour the mood is from the ID check line.
Did you really just do that, don't you know who I am!?!
There is a possible urban legend where someone did the "Don't you know who I am!?!?" thing at a CSR at an airport gate, and without missing a beat she apparently picked up the PA mic and broadcast all over the airport "Customer service to gate ##, we have a customer here who doesn't know who he is"
lixious ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:27:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This seems top be a recurring thing with TSA agents. I was taking my son through security when he was 5 (6 years ago). I had prepped my son beforehand so that he knew what to expect and why he would be asked certain questions. After checking that I wasn't kidnapping my kid, the agent asked my son to recite the alphabet backwards. My kid has a learning disability (autism and ADHD) and low self esteem because of it. He started to shake and just stared wide-eyed at the old man who finally said "just kidding" and waved us through. I was livid on the inside but just moved on. My son was really confused and nervous for a while. I still don't get wtf that dude thought that was a good joke.
samboydh ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poor little dude. I would usually ask the kids "Hey, where's Perry" or "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck" to be silly. Now, 11/12-year-olds I would ask "How many US territories are there," you can just see their minds get blown.
lixious ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:29:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Age appropriate is key. He would have thought you were hilarious.
I should clarify that the agent was deadpan when he asked the question too. It was just creepy and weird. You sound fun though.
If It wasn't a bad day, yep. I'm gonna defuse this situation with a little humor.
My favorite line for expedited screening ( basically everyone becomes precheck for a half hour at a time) would be to say, " Now folks I know you have spent your every waking hour to learn the rules, but forget everything we taught you in the last 4 years for the next 20 minutes."
I'm sorry but if the agent didnt know your son had any learning disabilities, you can't really blame him for making the joke. Most people would have found it funny.
Is it supposed to be a joke about getting pulled over for drunk driving? Because a 5 year old isn't going to get that. They may or may not be able to recite the alphabet forwards, so saying this to them isn't likely to work out well.
Most five year olds would just say "I can't do that" or something similar. Haven't you ever had older family members joke with you as a kid in a similar fashion?
Because it's a perfectly possible thing to do. z y x w v u.... The "joke" is based on the child's inability to complete the task, despite it not being obviously impossible or overly difficult for an adult. The intended end result is then the questioner saying, or at least thinking, "ha ha, you're stupid." I probably would have attempted it, but at that age would definitely have had to start listing from a every time I got stuck, resulting in an unreasonably long process that would have been interrupted to explain that the intention was to mock me.
I have absolutely no issue admitting that I can't recite the alphabet backwards.
lixious ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't and neither did anyone else I asked. If he had asked that question of an adult, I can see it being funny, but little kids don't get jokes like that and fear authority, disabled or not.
Not necessarily. As a 5 year old I doubt I would've been than bothered by the question. I can see how it would have not been so great knowing your kid has a disability, but I personally would have found it hilarious if I had a kid in that situation. Then again I am a 22 year old guy, and you're a parent, so there's a good chance our senses of humor dont overlap.
There are a lot of times and places for jokes but TSA isn't one of them. Nobody is happy to have to go through all the US' bullshit security, the last thing they want is to listen to a bad joke let alone be offended like that. People just want to get through the line without getting hassled or talked to.
ANYWHO... we would actually open every lane for about one hour a day including the auxiliary checkpoint. Otherwise, we would only run about 4 lanes. Mind you, this was 2011, so things could have changed since the sequester.
I worked at NASA's IT helpdesk for 6 years. Toward the end of my time there, we had 3 days off due to snow. They day before it was supposed to hit, my boss tells us to take our laptops and headsets home with us so we could use VPN to take calls from home until the base opened up again. I wasn't happy about it, but taking calls in the comfort of my own home in PJ pants with no shower was much preferable to my normal daily routine.
First day of the break comes along and I'm enjoying the hell out of it. 1 monitor on my work machine for logging calls, 2 monitors on my home machine for video games and movies. Needless to say, whatEVER the problem was that day, everyone had to reboot their machine.
So its about halfway through the day and I've just told this lady to reboot. I pick up my controller and start hacking my way through some Devil May Cry when my brand new, 8 week old kitten stumbles into the room and starts rubbing against my leg. I look down, grin widely (because kitty!) and beckon him up into my lap.
But here's the thing... He's tiny and lacks proper jump height.... and I'm in PJ pants. Logical conclusion? Tiny, razor-sharp daggers of love pierce my skin as the little fuzzball climbs his way up my leg and into my lap. Being completely caught off guard by the whole situation, I immediately screamed "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, I WILL MURDER YOUR FUCKING FAMILY!"
The cat, startled, scampered away. I had about 3 seconds to breathe deeply and examine my wounds before I hear ".... exCUSE me?!"
I forgot... to mute... the goddamn... headset.
In a panic, realizing I was about to lose my job, I decided to go with the truth and hope for the best. Luckily, the customer on the phone was an unashamed crazy cat lady and we both had a good laugh.
TL;DR Screamed at a customer that I would murder her fucking family.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I pushed my young adult cat off my lap while wearing shorts. He decided he didn't want to exit my lap. I still have the scars. Also don't scream at kittens. :)
Wow, that's amazing. I can get pretty profane as well if I'm frustrated about something, but thankfully no customer has ever heard that. (Managers have though)
And goddammit, kittens have sharp claws.
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 05:11:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did not personally happen to me, but when I was a kid in my first restaurant job, one of the waitresses (the most modest and kind lady you can think of) tried to ask a man if he'd like cocktail sauce to go with his food. What actually came out was "Do you want some cock sauce?"
Everyone had a good laugh, but god, her face was so red.
I was an addictions counselor doing an intake on a young woman. I believe we were close to the same age. I would have been 23ish. I asked her about her alcohol usage...
Her: "30 pack"
Me: "....A week? A weekend? "
Her: "a night"
Me: "I'm not gonna lie, that's impressive"
I was doing another intake and it was a child in need of care case. The report I was given said that the client and her kid(s) were living in a tent by a river or something. I asked her for her address and she didn't have one. I said "the report says you are living in a tent" she said "no, we are camping" I said "permanently?"
Seriously. I was not mature enough to have been working there.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:40:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a day shadowing friend while she worked with a very speech-impaired autistic child, on the assumption I would perhaps take over and move in to this line of work.
After the day finished she asked how I felt about the experience - my (no thanks) decision was pretty much entirely based on "I am nowhere near mature enough to take responsibility for shaping this persons life."
I since went on to say many stupid things at various low-responsibility jobs.
Telling them that they were wrong regarding UK returns laws (sales of goods act).
Proceeded to print a copy of the part in question and highlight the part that proved them wrong.
Nothing became of it, but I possibly took the whole โyouโre wrongโ thing a little far.
I do escalations and to point out the fine print that they agreed to when purchasing is satisfying. Added to that satisfaction is that we do not even use a small font and try to use normal, understandable English where possible, too. Rtfm, where manual can also be our T&C, the manufacturing warranty or your local consumer law.
I used to work at a college bookstore. We had a kid come in one time demanding a certain price for a book. He kept going on and on about how we had to give him that price for the book. My manager was like late 70s kept telling him that the price on the shelf is what we sell it for. This kid whips out a packet he printed from the Ohio weighs and means division and tryโs rattling off all this stuff about what we were doing was illegal and how he was going to report us. My manager takes the textbook and tells the guys that this isnโt a courtroom but my manager does have the right to refuse him sale which he is doing and he was sure the kid could look that law up too.
I love doing this. People seem to think i answer calls because i am dumb, whereas i work in a specialized system and do a lot of different things and take some calls part time just like all my colleagues. Itโs to keep the job varied and keeps us from burning out. I love switching to my legal speak and have them go โoh...โ. I also often send them proof.
gregjph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to give me my money back, that's trading standards that is"..
Yeah, at the moment SOGA is superseded by EU law, as EU law gives six years where uk only gives I think itโs 5. But yeah. If you work in retail itโs a headache every time BBC do a special on it.
My understanding has always been that the SOGA, or the Consumer Rights Act since October 2015 (CRA) take precedent over EU law because while it does not specify a minimum warranty term like the EU law does, CRA instead gives superior long-term legal support in the case of faulty goods, giving a consumer 6 years to take a case to court where goods go faulty. 5 years in Scotland. So it can vary based on what the goods supplied are, the nature of the fault, and what reasonable lifetime of the goods are expected to be. It's difficult getting that across to someone without them making a scene though!
Rikolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I possibly took the whole โyouโre wrongโ thing a little far
Nope. Never. Not until you've shamed them into defeat and admitting they are wrong.
My absolute favorite moment was when I worked at Circuit City with a friend of mine. I was busy grabbing something for a customer, so my friend grabbed the ringing phone.
"Hello, this is Office Max, how can I help you...of course... can I put you on hold for a second? Thank you."
Then he proceeds to hang up on the customer.
He hadn't worked at Office Max, but incidentally got a job there later.
Alderin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:42:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a dental assistant. We had a new shipment of slow speed drills delivered; one of my co-workers handed me one and said โthis one is fresh off the press, itโll cut through anything!โ Without thinking I walked into the surgery where the patient was sitting and repeated what my co-worker had said to the dentist.
The patient turned around and looked at us both with a horrified expression on her face and said, โwhat do you mean itโll cut through anything??โ I can understand why she was surprised because she was only in there for a clean; no drilling involved.
I worked as a removal guy for a short time. One day i was pretty hungover and chatting with a customer who told me in a humourous tone "i needed removal men because im so clumsy id probally break something"
And i said
"Yea dont worry im pretty clumsy too, always dropping and breaking stuff"
Probally not what she wanted to hear. Anyway, we never broke anything by dropping it, but on the way to the new house, which we were following them in their car too, my workmate crashed into the back of their car. They probally forgot what i said after that.
I was known as the project manager who could take a screaming customer and, by the time I got them off of the phone, make them happy. Until one fine day this marginal customer (he always tried really hard to negotiate down) calls me screaming about we didn't deliver some items on time. I couldn't get him to calm down even when I told him that we informed him the day before via email and voicemail that the delivery had been refused. I let him rant a bit but it was getting old so I said 'if you don't calm down and quit screaming like a pissed off 12 year old I'm hanging up'. Que the cussout so I hung up on him. What he DIDN'T know was my VP was sitting at my desk listening to him rant. So he calls back and starts screaming again. My VP, God love him and RIP Mike, grinned at me and said 'You are our lowest profit margin customer and, if you're going to act like a jackass, we don't need or want your business' and hung up. We had a laugh over that then headed to the local eatery for quesadillas and margaritas for lunch. God I LOVED that job. I called it my 'hobby that I get paid to do'.
km89 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 03:07:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking an order on the phone. The lady was very chatty. Her address, coincidentally, was right next to the house I grew up in--so when she started to give directions (in excruciating detail) I told her that I was very familiar with the area because I had grown up right next door.
Cue the Hagrid face.
Half an hour later, after she had told me about damn near everything that had ever happened to anyone between when I moved out and then, I finally just about hung up on her.
When I worked for a major satellite TV provider (billing department) I recognized the customer's name - he was a very popular and respected coach from my high school, and one of his sons was in my graduating class. We had a fun time catching up (he still remembered me, even though I graduated in the 80's).
Throughout the call I referred to him as 'Coach So-and-so' since, well, that's his NAME as far as I'm concerned. My supervisor had been randomly checking long calls and after I got off that call he asked why I was calling the man Coach, I explained from whence I knew him, etc. Probably the best call I ever took while on that job.
kmlixey ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 05:15:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to the show, but this story should be told.
I was a server in a family-style large portion Italian chain restaurant with dining rooms in a basement. Apparently a table got seated in a section that had recently had its server sent home for the night due to the end of the dinner rush.
Well, I'm cleaning up my section in the small room adjacent to this room when a visibly angry man approaches me and shouts "Who's dick do I have to suck to get some service in here!?"
A slight pause and then my response, "What's today? Tuesday? Me. I'm Tuesday."
First job, working back drive thru at McDonald's. I'm having fun with it, first customer comes by,
Me: "How can I help you?"
Them: "Can I get a minute?"
Me: "You can have all the minutes you want!"
Next customer...
Customer #2: "Yeah can i just get a sec?"
Me: "You can have all the secks you want!"
Well great. Now Iโm having flashbacks to being a lolrandom late 90s Internet jackass, constantly unironically spelling โsexโ as โsecksโ like the absolute thundering virgin I was.
Not a customer but a co-worker. She introduced me to her girlfriend and I let out a very abrupt "OOHhhHh, NICE TO MEET YOU!" It sound to the universe like I was freaked out that she was dating a chick when in reality I am just a weird person that reacts awkwardly to strangers. I would have acted the same way if it was a guy, but I realized it would have only made it worse to try and explain, so I just kind of shut up and looked down at my hands for a few minutes.
So, completely, totally feel your pain.
I do this daily.
Currently trying to retrain myself to not be so incredibly self-conscious.
Itโs hard. The struggle is real.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man.. this reminds me of my coworker coming to work with his newborn along with his wife who Id never met. It starts out with him calling me from across a decent distance and I wasnโt 100% sure if he actually did or not so I looked at them both with a confused look for a few seconds, and in my defense he never repeated my name or gestured me over, so I just turned back around and went back to my business. And then a few moments later they came up to me and hes says โhey, did you wanna see my baby?โ And the only fucking thing I could utter out was... โniiiiiiiiceโ awkward head nod so I quickly was like โshit shit shit save faceโ and followed up with โshes adorable!โ And I think I managed to slightly salvage it but his wife was definitely looking at me like I was an alien. Horray for social awkwardness and just the general awkwardness of trying to be excited about an acquaintances baby when you barely know the person
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty awkward too. Not quite to your standard though. Keep fighting the good fight!
I worked in a call center years ago and knew a guy who did this. He thought I was a humorless bitch for not laughing along but that is just unprofessional and playing with fire.
JehPea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People that do this are completely stupid in a real braindead way. Chances are calls are recorded or a supervisor is listening and mute doesn't stop it from hitting the recording, only the customer.
cscf0360 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my employees not to risk using the mute button to curse about customers. I've had to fire good employees over that and it really sucks every time. My employees are pretty good about doing as I request because I'll get off a manager call and remark, "God, what a fucking bitch!" so they know I get where they're coming from. Unfortunately, all calls are recorded and insulting a customer is an immediate termination offense. I can't override HR on it.
I did something similar except they were the person I called for help. They honestly did not know what they were doing and I reiterated to the customer that the person helping me must not really know what he was doing. He heard me.
Regardless of who they are, they should know to always check their order against dietary restrictions if ordering something they haven't had before, which this clearly seems to be the case.
However, am Indian and it took me a watching of Princess Diaries at the age of 11 to find out that corn dogs were a thing and they were, in fact, not dogs shapes made of cornmeal.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I'm not American but I thought they were vegetarian too. In my mind they were something like falafel but made of corn? I don't know, maybe I'm dumb.
Serving a table of 4 black ladies who had become impatient waiting for their lunch order, I replied "I'll get back there and crack the whip." So dumb....
Man this reminds me of being a hostess and leading a black family to the only open booth. Dad turns to me and says, "Why are you putting all the black people in the back?!" I think I sputtered out that it was the best open table and about died of embarrassment before the mom said "he does this all the time, you're fine." Dad jokes, they'll getcha.
Oh wow. I say this to clients sometimes in reference to our vendors, and Iโve never thought about it being perceived in this way. Definitely not going to use that one again. Yikes!
OMG! Back in high school I was helping a friend, who was black, with some hard maths problems. After awhile he said " damn man! Don't be such a..." and I just blurted out " what? A slave driver? "
He fucking died laughing as did a nearby table of students. But one of the " teachers" (read a coach who needed an excuse to work there so they put him in charge of a few shifts of study hall) came flying out of his office berating me about racial sensitivity.
After I wanna say ten minutes of this dude yelling at me. I just sorta said "okay, sorry you're so offended," and walked off.
I was not a smooth kid. The Dean had words for me that evening.
I made a joke once to my black GM about some of the work being โslave labor.โ Once it left my mouth I froze. He was in the other room so he either didnโt hear me or brushed it off.
...you can, itโs just a bit passe to compare some paid office work to literal chattel slavery. Some peopleโs grandparents were slaves, itโs typically not great to joke about in front of black people.
zerovin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, As a non- American, you have so many terms and words that you can't say even in a joking maner. I know there's historical relevence, but you guys are a pretty sensitive bunch of people as a country.
I personally wouldnโt care that much, but I presume you can imagine how that could be quite offensive to people who have been slaves in living memory?
zerovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, offensive to those people I can understand. But when you ban or make a word or term that other countries use freely, in a joking manner or as a metaphor tabboo to say by anyone lest you get publicly shat on, is a pretty big over reaction to some words.
Iโm from Australia, and people call us the most racist country, but really we Are just people that donโt put that kind of weight behind words. Sticks and stones as the saying goes.
I sell water filters for fridges, and a common question is "how often should I replace my filter?" My go-to answer is "If it's just one person in the house and you use it to make a cup of tea on the weekends, it should last a year and a half. If, however, you have 6 kids in the house and drink a gallon of Kool-Aid every day, then 3 to 4 months."
So far only gotten one funny look from an older black man...
When I was first starting in sales last year, I walked into my 3rd of 4th customers house and was a little sweaty and winded from the previous appointment.
I sell Hurricane windows which requires me to spend time out in the sun measuring large homes and getting a little dirty.
I walk into the customers house, and his dogs proceed to sniff my ass and my crotch like I was hiding some treats. The customer, an older man, tells me, โThey love sniffing everybody.โ
I replied with, โIโm pretty sweaty from my last job. Iโll give them something to sniff.โ
One of the most awkward things thatโs every come out of my mouth. Didnโt make the sale.
I deal with lots of address confirming for my job. One guy lived on Elm Street, after a minute or so of awkward silence, I asked, โso do you get a lot of nightmares?โ He replied, โhuhโ and I just proceeded with confirming the rest of the reservation as if I never asked.... I am pretty sure he heard me.
She needed to hear that from someone. Hopefully it all ended well.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:08:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amazi0n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how do you get this type of closure to a 911 call?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:59 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds really nice
Hjcoug ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 05:05:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a dude and was working at McDonaldโs. A male customer came in and ordered a fudge Sunday. As he was leaving, I realized I forgot his packet of peanuts so I yelled out โhey, wait a second, let me grab your nutsโ.
justlose ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:02:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I was ringing up a customer's 6 pack, he asked me if I sell a lot of that beer. I say it doesn't run out of my store, but it has some legs. Dude was in a wheelchair.
[deleted] ยท 356 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I maybe accidentally kind of said "Fuck you" to a customer who was treating me terribly over his coffee order. I now think I could have possibly been more professional.
I've admittedly said variations of that to customers, especially when it's late at night, and they're too drunk or too out of line to report me. One time I was doing something with a display by the back door (my coworker was ringing up a line of guests), and a customer going out told me I had a nice ass. I screamed at him to go fuck himself, and turned a few heads from the line of guests. I think decent people view it as refreshing, rather than an issue to tell my manager about. I don't make it a habit, but I'm not afraid to confront assholes either.
One time I had a dude at my register (who I later found out was my cousin) asked me out if I'd go out with him, "if I was interested", to which I replied, "sucks that I'm not interested", and got high fives and cheers from the next three guests (two of them women) in line (this was right after the bar next door closed for the night, so everybody was in there getting food and smokes).
It's worse to know that I look good to my cousin (who's also at least 10 years older than me and... not exactly attractive; he comes from the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome branch of the family).
I had a GM at a movie theater I worked at who hated dealing with problem customers; but when he did deal with the "I want to talk to a manager" type he would be so sickeningly sweet (he was very tall & very effeminate & clearly gay) & then he would end the conversation with "fuckyouverymuch" & it was amazing to see the expression on the customers face while they tried to figure out if they had heard him correctly. it was amazing!
I worked at a retail pharmacy and late one night a woman pulled up to the drive thru window talking on her cellphone. She handed me the prescription I tell her it will be ready in about 10 minutes. She said she was told over the phone we could have it ready right away, this is ridiculous, the whole thing. I say, "Ma'am. You need to change your tone, because IT IS AWFUL." She was shocked and asked for the prescription back, and I gladly handed it over. As I closed the drive thru window she said, "Bitch!" It's the only time in my life I've been called a bitch, because I'm super fucking nice. I think she was talking to herself. I expected a call from the regional manager but never got one.
I once had a pharmacist loudly discuss my medication with me in front of other people. I didnโt ask, he just started blabbing. And it was a medication I didnโt want to discuss in front of people. Iโm still mad at myself for not telling on him. It really embarrassed me and it was Not professional or appropriate at all.
I prefer to go in to verify things before I pay, since I've had oddities a few times.
But the drive-through was very nice back when I would have a sick kid in the car.
EDIT: For example, twice doctors have written me prescriptions in a way that made them come out to a 32-day supply. My insurance normally pays for 30-, 60-, or 90-day supplies, so I would have paid twice as much for 32 days as for 30. It was easier to spot that inside at the counter, and I was able to ask them to "underfill" the prescription for 30 days instead of 32.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the uk, 27 years old and Iโve never seen a drive thru pharmacy. So obviously not that common, at least not here
They've had them in the US at least for quite a while. I've never used one personally since it seems completely bizarre. I'm not even sure what you do. Hand over your perscription and then sit there for 20 minutes? I always use the pharmacy at the grocery store and shilop while I wait, or failing that at least walk around a bit assuming I'm able.
Thereโs a pharmacy 2 blocks from my house. I walk there and play on my phone for 5 minutes while they fill my prescription. If the line is long I come back the next day.
There is also a pharmacy at my grocery store. If I use that one I fill my prescription while I shop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:20:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use the drive through for dropping off a new script, but if I just have a refill ready to pick up I find it's pretty convenient.
Well mine I stupidly emailed; we had this client who not only was a bitch but a stupid bitch, and I was already feeling salty with her because she shouted at me the day before. She was using our product online to create a test and was adding questions to the test, and came across a question she had been hoping to use but that gave the message "This item is no longer available", because the question had been removed. The reasons behind the removal varies; maybe it has a bug in it and will break the test... maybe the other questions it is aligned to are no longer used... there are many reasons. But ultimately, it is No Longer Available. This client took a screenshot and emailed it to me and said "What does this mean?" Well rather than investigating the reason and providing a detailed response, I just replied with "It means exactly what the message says. That item is no longer available. Let me know if I can help you answer any other obvious questions." My boss was NOT happy.
I've sent thinly veiled emails like that. The key is to not directly call them out for being a fucking idiot, but heavily imply it by explaining the answer to their question in the most drawn out minutiae possible, then ask "Does that make sense?" or "let me know if there's anything else I can help you with."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know the art. It's apparently difficult to teach because I've been trying to teach my people for a while. The best way to get an asshole client back is to explain the obvious to them in a way that shows just how obvious it is. Treat them kindly but as if they're so stupid they'll break. They tend to shut up after that.
Oh absolutely! Usually I'm way better; I'm a big fan of "Per our previous conversation", "Please advise", and "That is outside the scope of my work". In this instance I just hit reply and fired off what I was thinking even though I knew better. Whoopsie!
I accidentally implied that it was a customer's fault for not checking if her coupon was expired before she tried to buy $400 worth of stuff she didn't need and couldn't afford without that $10 coupon. Half an hour of being verbally abused and belittled later, another employee went to get the manager for me to placate her. Apparently being told that you should have checked your coupon before buying $400 worth of stuff you don't need and can't afford without a $10 coupon only works if you're a manager.
One Christmas (work at a supermarket) called to collect her online order asking us where our drive through window was for it (was a trolley full of groceries). Explained we donโt have one on the phone and that they are collected from our service desk, starts yelling and Iโm like sorry but our back dock is too dangerous to have customers. She comes in after 15 minutes and demands one of us help her with her trolley as she canโt do it as she has her kid which are all over the age of 5 (my store is pretty busy now we are calling priority alerts to the front end) and I say ok and proceed to help her with her trolley, she is parked a good 15 minute walk from my store in the opposite car park from my end of the centre, we finally get to her car and I wish her a merry Christmas and start to walk away and she scoffs and says is that it youโre not going to put it into my car. I explain Iโm technically not even supposed to be this far from my store and Iโm not supposed to put them into the car for safety reasons and she starts saying some unpleasant things, I snapped and said are you fucking serious itโs Christmas my store is busy as anything and youโre complaining about me following my store policies Iโm walking away now and have a good holiday.
At first she was like excuse me and then just a jaw drop, she did complain but I told my boss straight up what happened when I got back to the store so they were waiting for it so they could get rid of it because it was my first complaint
I work front desk in a behavioral health private practice. We see a lot of vets. Iโm a super friendly and kind person who always strives to say the right thing to everyone who comes through the front door. A guy comes in and says he is having a bad day. He is a regular patient we see about once a month. I use the good old adage, โevery day above ground is a good dayโ. Thinking I can connect with him and cheer him up. He looks at me and says yeah, I guess so. His son had killed himself the week before and he had just buried him. I wanted to die after I was made aware of what had happened and what I had said to him, in an effort to lift his mood. Fuuuuck. One of the 22 Veterans daily that come home and kill themselves I have never, ever said the wrong thing More in my entire life - nor felt as bad about it. Still makes my heart ache just to think of it. Iโm so sorry.
I worked for Rent-a-Center a few years back and part of my job was calling all the customers who were late on payments. Dialed โBig Robโ and was unsurprisingly met by the answering machine; no big deal, I go into my voicemail spiel, but I get cut off. โSorry, I didnโt get that. Please leave your message after the beep.โ
This happens three-four more times until I finally lose my shit and scream at the answering machine โwhat the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit?!What a worthless waste of ten minutes.โ Clang the phone down and hit the truck to go run credit.
Come back and the boss is staring daggers at me. Apparently the answering machine actually decided to record the last time and โBig Robโ had come down to the store personally to set me straight. We all laughed when I explained what happened, but they transferred the account to a different rep because the guy didnโt believe the story.
The voicemail kept cutting off after taking part of the message. Very frustrating.
aard_fi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:19:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't used voicemail myself for over a decade, but I use it now and then to deal with annoying callers in the phone system at home.
Unwanted calls are usually just routed to listening to the Llama song without the phone ringing, but (unless it's an unlisted number) I still get a Jabber notification. So if somebody doesn't get the hint I'm getting annoyed by the notification they'll get the special voicemail treatment, with cutting off, offering number navigated menus where always the wrong menu is selected, echoing what you're saying back to you, ...
I automatically delete the messages after a month, but when I'm bored or need entertainment I go checking if there's something funny on there.
Kit4242 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once sold residential internet and tv service door to door. I came to this house once and this little girl came to the door. I instinctively asked if her mom or dad was home. That's when I noticed her tattoos... and her glare... It started to click that she was not a child and was just a short woman (as in 4 foot 9 ish).
I just looked at her and said "I should leave right?". Without a word, she nodded, still glaring and I tucked tail.
FWIW, I think you handled the aftermath with extraordinary dignity.
parrsnip ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a big box hardware store in the outdoors department and a lady came up to me asking where the Sevin was. Without even thinking I โuh right after six.โ I had completely forgotten about the product Sevin which is used to kill insects. Iโm just glad she was in a good mood and found it humorous.
I was talking to a woman the other day who was having problems with a spray bottle she had bought, mentioning it was really expensive. This was all in French, my second language. She asked where the product was, then said something I didn't understand. So I said "...so you wanna buy a new one?" In French. She switched to English "WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK?!" And then proceeded to lecture me on the difference between "vous" and "tu", as if I didn't know. I mean, she seriously wasn't giving me much to work with. She was originally asking if she could return it but she didn't have the product or the receipt. Like... what?
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:21:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
O la vache.
Yaksho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wei wei.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:42:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a server when I was 19-20. It was a summer day and I was serving the lunch rush on our patio. I had this couple in their 20s sit down and order. She got an Asian noodle salad (with the crispy noodles I think?) and he got whatever he got.
When I went to do the quality check of the meal, the woman told me her noodles were soggy. I apologized and told her I can bring it back and get her a fresh one. She refused it. I said I could bring her more crispy noodles on the side to add in. She refused that too. I made a couple other offers to fix the issue which she also turned down. Then she said โI just donโt want it to happen to anyone else... Iโll eat it... but I just donโt want anyone else to have this problem too.โ
Right away before I could even stop to think I said โoh, so youโre a martyr?โ Her boyfriend busted out laughing and she looked stunned. I immediately realized what I said and apologized profusely. Luckily the dude paid and I got a good tip anyway.
Was a college tour guide for some time. Loved the role and the mix of people youโd always get. Some people were kind, friendly, and excited to be touring a campus; while some, were just plain upset they had to be there.
On one tour full of accepted and wait listed people, I had one mother and daughter at one point who were upset that skateboarding (as a mode of transportation) was allowed on campus. The mother launched into this โI canโt believe that my daughter is accepted to a school full of hooligans who think skating around is safe for them and others around them! Sheโs going to get hurt, or worse, end up doing drugs!โ Paraphrasing here, but you get the idea. She asks why these โgang bangersโ arenโt arrested yet. I inform her that our police force is tolerant of it and that in fact multiple members of the police own and use skateboards in certain areas of the campus instead of a Segway or walking. (Really chill cops btw).
Finally, after a bit of back and forth, the mother looks at me and says, โI refuse to allow my daughter to go to this school! What do you think of that?โ
My response, โIโm sorry to hear that maโam, but having just one student who was accepted drop will not harm this school in any manner. Instead, it will allow for someone who is wait listed the opportunity to attend. To some people, this is their dream school, to others, this is just a school. Whomever gets the spot of your daughter, may become the happiest person out there because they are now afforded the chance at an education at a school in which they willingly stayed on the wait list.โ
She didnโt like that, reported me to my boss, boss does this whole charade of โdonโt do shit like thatโ in front of the mother. Moment mother walks off, boss goes โgood job! Fk herโ
I remember seeing a comment similar to this, where the commenter was a waitress. She walked up to a table and said, "What can I get you ladies?" But then noticed they were in fact not both ladies, so she said, "Oops, sorry, I thought from behind that you were a woman."
In all honesty they're probably just trying to be polite. The "miss vs m'am" thing. Calling an "older" woman m'am was a fast way to a verbal altercation back in the day.
I didn't mean it literally. I meant "we" as a society. The "English-speaking world," if you will.
I've yet to see it "in the wild," but I've read or listened to some interesting pieces about it recently.
It might just stick out in my memory because part of my profession involves accounting for all choices that a consumer might want to make.
Can't go excluding a whole market segment because "Mr" denotes that they are head of household, "Ms" has the connotation of unmarried woman, and "N/A" is exclusionary.
I agree. But I'm American, where we find extraneous letters attached to the name your parents gave you to be, as you said, "stupid and superficial."
I hear it's much more of a perceived social issue in the UK, where some of my coworkers originate. In the spirit of open-mindedness I do not pass judgement.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes. It's not intentional. I'm as American as apple pie so I just choose the blank option. But while consulting for foreign companies I've had to listen to the whole "honorific debate." Just something I've observed.
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me with my girlfriend several times, my hair was past my shoulders. My favorite was the girl who gave us our first round on the house. I gave her a fat tip, cause I really wasn't offended and her mortified reaction was humorous.
I had the opposite happen. A couple walked in. It was winter and they were wearing similar coats/hats. They were also similar heights and the wife had short hair. I walked up to who I thought was the husband, said sir, and ended up with a pissed off, self conscious female customer.
I had an androgynous looking music teacher, with an androgynous family. They all had the same curly hair worn in a fro and unisex clothes. Like they must have bought 4 pairs of the same clothes in various sizes whenever they went shopping. She had a son and a daughter. She brought one of her kids to work one day. A student was like "It was nice to meet your son today!" To which she responds, "That's my daughter"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow this legit happened to me. Like 6 months ago maybe my hair was fairly long and I was in Fred Meyer in Portland, standing in line at the register, and a guy says โHey miss, this lane is openโ, then I turn around as a man with heavy stubble and he says โoh, sorry, sir!โ. It was funny, I felt bad for him. My hair was kinda long, and I have a slim figure anyways, so I had it coming.
Where's PNW? All I can think of is Papua New Guinea which we often shorten to PNG (that and Portable Network Graphic, my favourite lossy image file format).
Honestly; your safest bet is to find gender neutral terms in customer service. Not just for PC reasons, and because you honestly never know, but also to save yourself (and your customer) the embarrassment. Just a loud โexcuse me!โ Or โhey there!โ Will fill in most miss/maโam/sir situations.
RAWR19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact opposite happen. In my defense, she was dressed like a dude. Short hair, baggy-ish shirt, baseball cap. She was turned away. I just kept calling โsirโ until she finally turned around and said Iโm a woman. Wasnโt mad and said it happens a lot. I was mortified.
Long hair here, too, and a similar situation. Was sitting at a table in a bar with my then girlfriend and a couple of her friends, and a guy came up from behind the ex and I, and asked me if I wanted to dance. I told him that I didnโt think I was his type. The ex was pissy afterwards, and her friend called her out on it: โDonโt be mad at Dan; itโs not his fault he has prettier hair than you.โ Ex was not amused. The rest of us thought it was hilarious!
This happened to my boyfriend ALL the time when he had long hair. He said he once went into a store with one of his previous female friends that was fairly attractive (don't worry, she's not a threat lol) and one of the staff asked if "you ladies need any help". TWICE. He thinks it was some weird vengeance for being with a pretty girl. I think he was probably just kind of a twink at the time.
Never happened in person but I get called ma'am all the time over the phone because I guess my voice is high. Especially with those Indian cell center types that probably have trouble differentiating between male and female English names (just guessing because that's how I am with Indian names). I usually never mention it and maybe just try speaking a bit deeper, but I had one lady call me ma'am several times and it annoyed me and I had to tell her I was a man. She still kept calling me ma'am.
When I worked retail there was a time I also had long hair, when I got the "miss" or "ma'am" I'd just turn around, a single eyebrow raised and not say a word for the briefest of moments, and judge how to proceed based on their reaction.
I live in the south and saw someone the other day. From the back, with the tight pants tucked into the boots and the flowing long hair, they looked like a basic white bitch. From the front, they looked like a potbellied old rocker dude.
The best part was, when I saw the guy, I mentioned him to my friend, describing him basically as I did above, and he said, "Oh, I think I know him." Turned around, sure enough, it was his acquaintance.
Adaur981 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 03:07:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it does happen up there, but they deserve it. :)
Group of college kids came in and ordered. Finishing the transaction and I say "that will be $10.40 ma'am...sir" without thinking. Couldn't tell if it the person paying was a guy or girl so both slipped out. A guy in the group says "you were right on the first one". I hung my head in shame.
Working at a Pizza place, a woman comes in to pickup a carryout order. While waiting on the pizza I asked, "How far along are you?" She wasn't pregnant.
uschwell ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 00:16:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat relevant story-had a friend who was very obviously pregnant (skinny so she looked like she had a basketball shoved under her shirt). She got a huge laugh by: whenever someone would say to her "congratulations when is it due" she would put on this puppy face and tearfully say "what? Why would you say that? Are you saying im fat?"
She had the best poker face while she did this.....
Yeah, the joke never got old-we'd be helping her shop or walk, some little old lady would inevitably make a comment and she would do her thing-the backpedaling was amazing
I always see these comments that say something along the lines of "thanks for making me look like an idiot in a public space for laughing my ass off" and scoff because they're probably exaggerating but you just made me do exactly that.
LOL. My favorite was when I was 41+ weeks pregnant, and wandering around an antique shop looking at baby stuff, trying to stimulate labor, and to the chatty owner I mentioned that I was about to drop a kid any minute. The owner said, "Oh, wow, I thought you were just fat." You could almost see him extract the foot from his mouth. :D
I never understood this. You're not supposed to assume we're pregnant (even if it's super obvious), but you still have to make a judgement call as to whether to give up the reserve seats on public transport?
Reminds me of something I said. A female coworker of mine was pregnant ( she told everyone ). I had to leave the country for a few months, but when I came back I ran into her and she looked like she had progressed through the pregnancy. I asked another female coworker when she was due. She had the baby 2 months ago.
A (distant) family member said this to my mom at a family reunion. My mom says "I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT." Family member basically crawled away in embarrassment.
I get mistaken as being pregnant a lot because of the way I carry my weight. I am not fat by any means by my belly is a bit rounder (especially after i eat) on my small frame.
Never assume someone is pregnant. It is very hurtful. I actually had a customer once poke me in the belly and ask me "What's this?" As his way of asking once. The point is unless they bring it up dont.
On the other side, I have carried all my children very small so was always pumped when someone asked how far along I was. I got tired of the normal, 'but you're so small' comments. Or the even better, 'you're so little is your baby healthy?!' comments. Ignore the"never ask" rule, and simply follow your gut.
At this point I just leave off honorifics until I've interacted with a person so I avoid this.some older people get upset, but idk if that upsets them other stuff will too
I'm a teenage girl but I'm cursed with a highschool boy-esque pubestache unfortunately if i don't bleach or pluck it once a week. I feel this may happen to me in the future. :(
Courwes ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 00:18:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Its not going to happen and I'm not going to keep arguing with you about it. We will see you ____" Click
Laughing at them when they start screaming and cursing into the phone then hanging up on them.
Used to happen like once a week. Thank god I do not have to talk to customers anymore.
pooburry ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:45:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just mute them so they thought I hung up but I could still listen.
Similar to this, my mom and my sister both answered the home phone at the same time. When my sister realized it was a telemarketer, she hung up. The salesman heard the click, and my mom got to hear him say โGod, I hate this job.โ
This is a situation I have mentioned before but it was a shouldn't have said that moment for sure. In this situation I was the customer
"I have never responded well to random uncomfortable news. Once when I was in college I was getting a haircut and asked how the stylist's day was going. She said her day was going well but her dog died the night before. Without thinking I said "think of all the money you'll save on dog food". Instant regret. It's one of those things that pops into my head randomly as I try to sleep at night."
When I worked in a call center a guy called in screaming at me about a game that was blacked out in his area. He felt that because he paid for the NBA League pass he should be able to see anything he wanted, I told him that I agreed but unfortunately we couldn't do anything about blackouts. He proceeded to berate me for another 5 minutes and finally I said "look man, I just work here" he lost his fucking mind, screamed at me in what I assume was Arabic and then hung up. My supervisor was over shoulder and fortunately was really cool about it but I thought I was fucked.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:24:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dezrat ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a sandwich shop, one time a customer flipped his shit about the meatballs being cold. W/e we comp it and move on.
He comes back next day and pulls the same shenanigans. He ate almost the entire sandwich and came up to me. I looked him dead in the eye "So you're telling me, the meatballs that are currently 185ยฐ are cold?" To which he replied "yes, they're freezing, how can you know they're so hot!" I lifted up the tray of meatballs with steam rolling off of them and showed him the thermometer. "Well you apparently don't have any qualms about shoving 'cold' balls in your mouth"
The dude threw a third of a meatball sub at me, the owner kicked him out, and almost wet herself laughing. It was a good day.
It's amazing what language becomes second nature when you've been on drill rigs for any amount of time... and how many uses there are for the words "cunt" and "fuck"
What if I'm just saying "cunt" as a single word, cunt? Do I need to add cunt to the end or does that count as having it at the end, cunt?
"Cunt, cunt... cunt, cunt."
Where in Australia? When I moved from central QLD to Brisbane it became really obvious how much I swear... even when I'm making a conscious effort to be appropriate I end up swearing
Australian mum here. The rule in the house is "Only Mummy is allowed to swear". Despite this, I still heard my 7yo call his big bother a "fuck-knuckle" when he thought I wasn't listening. They got that one from their dad.
My best mates got a 2 yrold and hes startin to talk a bit now, his missus is right on us blokes about the swearin whenever were all together and sinkin a few tinnies. It gets BAD. Im waitin for him to come out with some fuckin beauties because theres a few of us blokes he hangs out with and he loves to copy us all. Were all pretty bad on the language too if we dont pay attention being tradesmen and not working in retail.
I can swear like a trouper - but yeah I've worked retail so I learned to turn it down. Your best mate will be hauled in by the Kindy teacher in 3 years time and told off :) :)
(But it IS really funny to hear little kids swear...)
We have a rule that if they hear me say it, they can say it. Yeah, didn't think that through too well. Oh well. They're a pair of little fuckers anyway.
In my line of work this is a sign of authenticity.
The problems are fucking frustrating! You apologize for letting a F-bomb slip, but very few people truly care. They'll just chide you amicably about it.
No, but I grew up around "tradesmen" and worked in one at an early age.
You'd be surprised how readily tradespeoples' communication skills translate to white collar professions. We don't want to be here either. It just happens to be what we're good at and pays the bills.
Also in Australia: I use swearing to help hospital patients feel relaxed. Stressed out old fella? Throw in the odd 'shit' or 'crap' and he feels right at home. Stressed out young folk? Throw in the odd whispered, conspiratorial 'fuck' and you become best mates on an adventure together. We are a strange people.
I swear to my coworkers a lot since where I work is inside and the customers are outside and away from us. Other day I called a girl a royal cunt basket and told her if she didn't shut the hell up I would wax her eyebrows.
RCIfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:25:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love Australians use of swearing. They use it just the right times. All my professors here don't care about using it, which is very different from the US.
I'm interested in your username. Cam Girl is self explanatory but the BillieRuben part, does that have anything to do with the liver compound bilirubin?
There's a bit of a story behind it: when my mum was pregnant with me she had a blood disorder that had something to do with bilirubin (I'm iffy on the details).
When I was born her best friend gave me a teddy bear and in my parents warped sense of humour they named him Billy Ruben.
I guess they passed the humour on to me because I use the name here.
When I started this account I had dreams of going to med school, so the name had some nice alignment. :)
I still have the teddy. He sleeps on my bed every night. My boyfriends over the years never minded. My now partner even brought his teddy out of an old box.
Now Billy and Pandy snuggle up in bed together just like us. :3
That's very sweet in an odd way. Glad to hear you still have it. I've got an old beat up Garfield from when I was really young.
My exe had a yellow blanket she's had since she was a very young child. It was in bed with us every night and she used it to wrap around her head whenever she had a migraine. I live in Canada, she in California and one time she cut a little piece of it off and gave it to me so I can have something that means a lot to her with me when we are away from each other. She said it was like cutting off a pets ear. Lol
Oh wow! I don't think I could do that to my teddy! She must love you very very much. :)
Oh I realised I didn't tidy up one lose end in that story. I didn't end up going to med school. I decided on a double degree, both in STEM. So I'm finally studying! :D
Oh good for you! I'm 31 and never really had a path in college, did a few courses here and there then just started working. Kind of feel like going back to school but it would be difficult. Glad to hear you're back on the academic path :)
Unfortunately this is all past tense, but yes she did love me very much. It's been years since I've been in a relationship but something will come along hopefully.
I must admit to feeling a little uncomfortable seeing your post about depth rotating your boyfriend after hearing a little about your childhood. Lol
Nah, those old wounds have scarred over so they're all fine now. Don't worry :)
I make enough to probably pull it off but I live in an expensive area and taking time off work may not financially work out. I'd still like to try though.
What makes you uncomfy?
Good question with a few valid answers to it. I'd say having 5 nieces and thinking of them making a similar post to yours is probably the biggest reason. Also, a general lack of experience may be a factor as I've only been with that one person.
Give it a go. If it doesn't work, well, don't go back the next semester. :)
Good question with a few valid answers to it. I'd say having 5 nieces and thinking of them making a similar post to yours is probably the biggest reason. Also, a general lack of experience may be a factor as I've only been with that one person.
I guess this only applies if you think that expressing my sexuality in such a way was a bad thing to do. I'm unashamed of it, myself.
I guess this only applies if you think that expressing my sexuality in such a way was a bad thing to do. I'm unashamed of it, myself.
No of course I don't. I'm just generally uncomfortable with expressing it and don't like the idea of my nieces growing up. All my own issues, no judgement towards you at all.
No, not wound-y anymore. Thanks :)
The problem with going back to school is that I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Lol.
I swear too much. I once had a mystery shopper report me because I swore under my breath when I dropped a tray on my foot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I'm a kiwi so it's pretty normal, but when most people first meet me they always think I'm pissed off about something and keep their distance. Actually I'm chill as fuck.
bro, aussie swearing has nothing on your bros just over here, nz, we swear like sailors over here lol. nobody gives a shit if i swear at them and im 16
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 21:19:26 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bezere ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nice that you gave them some privacy
Deveecee ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:46:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yikes...
Happy cake day!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Disney. Once told a guest that my toddler likes going to the parks, so I'm trying to take him as often as possible now that it's free so that he'll be sick of it when he's older.
Doesn't look good for the 'disney brand' for a cast member to say such things. It could actually get you fired.
bearpony ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:29:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I meant to tell the customers that it was time to close up the store so they should finish up their business quickly, and my job encouraged a cheery, joking, casual tone. So I said,
"All right everyone, let's get our close on!"
Didn't catch the homophone until it slipped out of my mouth.
I fumble all the time. Just today i called a customer letting him know his item was in, and at the end of the call said "alright, thanks for coming i- well i guess you're not in right now"
I'll greet people "thank you for calling... ahh you're right in front of me"
My dad worked at WalMart when I was a kid. On numerous occasions he'd answer our home phone "Sporting Goods and Automotive!"
I worked at a call center as a teen. Was ending a phonecall with my dad when I was on break one day. I ended it with "Thanks for calling, sir! Have a great day!" I stared at my phone for a full minute after hanging up.
I work at an independent movie theater. Owner is real hard core about no outside food and drink. Took some food from some people once and they followed me out yelling about it. We have about 10 signs between front door and auditorium that say no outside food and drink. Lady kept calling me a dick for taking food from their kids so I said atleast I can read and went upstairs to booth.
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that is honestly a dick move, I don't always follow something just because it's on a sign
Lyn1987 ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 00:46:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my Christ reddit I have so many from when I worked the devil Comcast. While working at the retail center I dealt with all sorts of abuse. I'm talking people swearing, spitting, threatening us (we have called the cops), everything. One woman even took a dump on the floor. After awhile of this level of insanity you begin to stop giving a fuck and push back a little when people get irate.
I have several stories in no particular order of the absurdity I had to deal with
My first week on the job a morbidly obese woman comes into the store and is irate about because we shut off her service. As I'm reading the details on her account all while she's screaming with such a raspy voice I was surprised she didn't have a stoma, "I pay my bill every month! I pay every month, look at my account". I look at the account and indeed she's paying every month. $50. On a bill that totals $156 and change. Plus she's getting hit with late fees every month which at Comcast isn't a flat rate, it's a percentage of the amount you owe. So between the partial payments and the late fees that act like compound interest, her bill is in the $500 range. I explain this to her as calmly as I can before she starts screaming about being stabbed. "I was in the hospital! I got stabbed, I got stabbed. Look!" She shows me a long scar on her arm, that indeed looks like she's been stabbed, but that doesn't change the fact that she hasn't paid a full bill in six months. After listening to that chorus for a full minute I finally snap "Every month? Ma'am where do you live so I know to never go there". She stormed out.
White working class man comes to the store and immediately launches into a tirade about how we doubled his bill overnight. Smelling bullshit I pull up his account and sure enough he hasn't made a payment in 7 weeks. I try to explain this to him and he's obstinate "How can you explain my bill doubling" and I respond back "Lets be real, you haven't paid in two months" My use of the phrase "Lets be real" is what set him off even further. "I don't like your attitude why don't you go work for Wendy's" He kept on and on, but he paid the full balance so fuck him I won.
Woman comes in contesting an outstanding balance she has. After looking at the account I notice that a self install kit was sent to her house three months ago. I ask about it and she tells me she never set it up so she shouldn't have to pay the balance. "Ma'am why did you wait four months to return the equipment?" She replies, "The UPS guy dropped it off on my porch and I didn't notice it. It's not my fault". I push further, "If you didn't notice it why didn't you call up and ask where your package was? Why didn't you use the tracking number?" She replies again that her porch is cluttered and she didn't notice it during the winter. Again, not her fault. So I summarize the situation for her. "So you ordered services, had the equipment delivered to your house, didn't notice the box, and waited 3 months to come here..." She nods several times, "...and this is our fault?" To her credit, she had the decency to not argue the point anymore after I said that.
I have so many more than these. Let me know if you want to hear more.
Edit: Since you guys asked so nicely
Taxes are the bane of my existence. They're not explained well to customers and in my state, they can end up being an extra $35 on your cable bill depending on what you have. So towards the evening this woman comes in with her daughter irate about her bill. She's just been kicked into second year pricing which is $25 per month more than what she originally signed for. She demands to have the bill lowered and I explain that there's nothing I can do. Comcast's billing system is designed to punish customers for trying to save money. Triple play customers who try to drop down a channel tier lose their promotional pricing. Customers who try to drop the phone will be put in a-la-carte pricing for the tv and internet. Either way, the bill is going to increase. She's not happy with this answer and demands that I lower her bill. So I start going through the charges to show her where she can save money. She refuses to drop channels or boxes, and at finally starts nit picking over taxes. pointing to my monitor she yells out "What is this shit? You mean I have to pay $23 in taxes every month!?" I lose my temper and shoot back "Yes! God Bless Connecticut! You pay $23 a month in taxes." The entire store went silent and I could see a bunch of people, including her kid trying to hide their laughter.
I get a customer who's pissed off because theirs now a $10/month modem charge on his bill. Turns out two years ago he was using a shitty third party modem, and when the technician came and replaced it with one of our modems, he entered it as a third party device. So the customer was using our equipment for two years, but wasn't charged. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and Revenue Assurance found out about this and changed the codes on his account. Once RA makes a change we can't undo it. This guy is going nuclear. Not only is he demanding a credit (lol tough shit) but he's demanding his old modem back. As if we have it just sitting in the back with his name on it. He is honest to god screaming now "where's my modem! I want my modem!." I get fed up and tells him "It's probably on the bottom of a landfill in New Jersey, we don't have it, it's been two years!"
We were at a meeting with a funeral director trying to organise my wife's Nan's funeral. The director asked my wife when she was due. Nope, we are both just fat.
Damn! They're supposed to be the most tactful people ever (since hurt feelings+grief are way worse than just hurt feelings) so I'm shocked they fell into that classic blunder.
Tuutori ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You would think this is self explanatory but it really isn't. I once congratulated my good friend for the "unexpected news". She wasn't pregnant. But thinking about the time, I would still be fooled. I wasn't even second guessing. I was dead sure.
yutgu_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, even talking about how healthy their food choices are is risky. Could be someone with an eating disorder, or social anxiety that makes them uncomfortable being the focus of attention. Maybe mention the food in a vague way like "The oranges are sure nice this week eh!?" but not in a judgmental way.
When I worked at GNC we had this product called, no shit, Herbal Grobust. This woman came in and picked it up and asked me how much it is, I said:
Its free if you let me rub it on you.
What the eff was I thinking! The best part, a few days later she came back and brought her ranger husband. She pointed at me, he came over (I was about to shit my pants) and said:
That was some funny shit, dude!
Talk about relief. Still, one of the dumbest things I have ever said, given context.
Yep, exactly what it advertised. And me being the best brother in history bought some for my sister on her 16th birthday. She was, shall we say, pretty pissed about that gift.
When I was waitressing, someone walked up to me and said "Do you know where the bathroom is?"
and I said "No, I've been looking for it for 3 years now, if you find it let me know"
I work in a liquor store. A 35ish year old woman in comes in to buy a 6 pack of bourbon & coke. One can fell out onto the ground and she picked it up, we had a chuckle.
I told her she should give that shaken up can that fell to her partner, she said she doesn't have one. I awkwardly took her money and felt bad when she left.
In high school and after I worked at a local funeral home. I was helping set up for a man's funeral and a family member notices a wet spot building near the groin of the dead guy. basically part of the body was leaking fluid as someone didn't do their job right. I was extremely nervous as I usually just washed cars and cleaned restrooms. I blurt out "when ya gotta go, ya gotta go."
A coworker at a call center for an Internet service provider's tech support got this one. He was verbally walking her through a complex procedure over the phone. He knew exactly what she was seeing as he was doing this (we were good at our job), and the customer asked "Are you able to see what's on my screen?"
He joked "Yes. And that is a lovely pink bathrobe you're wearing!"
She was wearing a pink bathrobe. And the front happened to be opened a bit and her boobs were partially exposed.
Swaguley ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 00:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a testing center and told a man in a wheelchair that he could, "just roll on in there" while I was finishing checking him in.
Was doing retail sales and was helping a vet in a wheelchair. He asked if we had a military discount. I said "no we don't have a standing discount for veterans unfortunately."
I realized what I said, and luckily he laughed as I awkwardly apologized for my jackassery.
I'm a manager at a movie theatre. We had a projector break down right as the movie was about to start. Being a kids movie, there was a large crowd of upset parents. One of the more irate dads is yelling at me and says "You're the one who has to tell my 5 year old son that he can't watch his movie". In my head I'm thinking "Well, I don't know your kid or care about him at all... so..." That's when I bent down and calmly told this child "You can't watch the movie". The father was not happy.
clothy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:13:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm collecting trolleys at the moment as a means to an end. The amount of people who swarm me like seagulls to get a trolley astounds me. One day I just brought in a rack and the customers started to try and take them off me (despite the fact that they are tied together). I stopped and told them all to give me space so I could put them away. They were annoyed but they did. I put the trolleys away. Then I said โOkay seagulls you can have them now.โ
diegoNT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:38:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at a Butcher shop. We used to sell bags of bones for dogs and we regularly had people coming in looking for Dog Bones. Anyway this regular came in and asked 'Any Dog Bones' and one of the older butchers from the back yelled out 'nah only beef and lamb bones sorry'. The whole place broke down in laughter and i thought to myself, I'll have to remember that one.
So about an hour later a customer, an acquaintance from my school days comes in, comes in, asks for if we have any Dog Bones, so i reply 'Nah only Beef and Lamb bones'.
There was an awkward silence, he looked me straight in the eye and said 'go fuck yourself you cunt' and stormed out of the store.
It took me a few seconds to realise that maybe that joke wasn't the best to play on an asian person.
I've heard the Chinese food is actually cats thing. I know there is that one place that eats dogs. But it never connected to think that... TIL a new racist slur...
Some crazy looking lady wanted โostrich cheeseโ at my Whole Foods.
I worked there briefly right after college because hurricane Katrina destroyed my first job. I matter of factly said โSomebody might be pulling your leg- you canโt have ostrich based cheese.โ
โWhy not?โ
โBecause cheese products are made from milk. Need a mammalโ
She looks at me all mad...โI thought the customer was always right. I want some goddam ostrich cheese... what an idiot.โ
I paused to bite my tongue but she just glared at me waiting for something to come of the conflict. So I dropped my body language to suggest she had caught me in a lie and said... โLook we both know you canโt afford it. Ostrich cheese is a delicacy. Sorta like goat caviar. Itโs too expensive to leave out on the counter. Youโll never taste it.โ
TL;dr - stoked a crazy personโs delusion because they were mean to me
Oh yeah she found the manager, who handled it much better. Said something like โso sorry but we arenโt able to carry that product.โ Lady was clearly irritable and something was off. Now that Iโm a doctor I feel bad about it. She was probably legit in need of help.
This is hilarious (and sad). It reminds me of the old Carol Burnett sketch where she's playing the Queen of England and deliberately asking for impossible things. "We would like the Buffalo-Flavored Ice Cream."
From age 17-18 I worked the seafood counter at an upscale grocery chain now owned by Amazon.. you know the one.
I had a regular customer, a total knockout blonde who came in every day to buy fresh cod. Eventually I worked up the courage to flirt with her, just a bit, even though English was not her first language. She was well put together and i wonโt lie I looked forward to serving her.
Now the screwup: she returned to the store after dinner hour and said โcod has wormโ. I checked it out and replied โthe worm is still moving so thatโs how you know the cod is freshโ. She just walked away. Iโll never know the future cod lady and I couldโve had.
Female server working in a sports bar (not known for its wings, btw), waiting on a table full of hockey players. They ask what's good, and without thinking, I responded, "well, I hear we have great racks."
suprized ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 01:36:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be kind of long...
but I used to deliver pizzas. One time I showed up at a house and they didn't come to the door. I went back to my car to get my phone to call them. Now I had been listening to stand up comedy on Pandora and when you start a phone call it pauses Pandora. So call them no answer and hang up Pandora starts playing again automatically. It's Donald Glover doing a joke about how it's weird girls have to always be worried about getting raped and he has never even thought of that happening to him. And that if someone wanted to rape him they'd have to be real sneaky about it... Like he'd be at a movie theater and he'd get up to leave and see some dude dressed as a chair run away... Okay so I go to call the customer again and this time Pandora keeps playing instead of pausing automatically. And I'm shaking my phone trying to get it to wake up so I can hang up/pause Pandora and I hear the lady say "hello" right as Donald delivers the punch line "GOD DAMN IT I JUST GOT RAPED AGAIN"........ I hear the lady say "excuse me!?" I'm in shock at this point and I just hang up the phone.
Tldr: delivering pizzas called customer not answering door. She answers phone while Pandora stand up comedy is playing and Donald glover delivers punchline "gdi I just got raped again" at that exact moment
Worked in a furniture store. I had a customer who was yelling at me because we didnโt have the product she wanted in stock. I told her we could order it in but she would have to prepay and it would take 4-6 weeks to come in. She flipped out and insisted we should be selling her the floor model. I explain that we canโt do that because of company policy. We frequently took orders, and if we donโt have a floor model, we donโt have any if that product to show customers, and therefore get no orders for it. She gets angry with me, yells at me about how she drove for 2 hours to get here, and that Iโm terrible at customer service. She demands my manager. I call into the stockroom, he comes out.
Suddenly sheโs all sweet and quiet, and acts all nice โOh, thatโs okay! Iโll look around for something else. Itโs too bad she couldnโt tell me that. She just said I couldnโt have it!โ
My boss goes back into the stockroom. The lady looks around for a minute, and leaves.
A moment later I look at a coworker, and say โI hate when customers donโt believe you, and then go ahead and put on an act just for the boss. That woman acted and looked like a small, angry dog.โ
She had come back in through the other door, and was literally right behind me. Somehow she didnโt say anything and just walked out.
Tsubara ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:24:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About 3 years ago, I worked retail at a refurbished computer shop.
This older black man walks in, looks like he's old, but doesn't look his age, if that makes sense. Anyways, very tall, slender, wearing a gray cap.
So, the store is pretty empty, I'm on the floor alone (small store), my coworker is restocking something in the back. This gentleman is browsing our laser printers.
I approach him and ask if he has any questions.
Me: "Good afternoon, sir. Is there anything I can help with?"
Him: "Hey, how's it going. Do you sell colored printers?"
In my infinite wisdom, I respond:
"Sir, it's 2015, you can use any printer you want"
I immediately freeze. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Then he lets out a big smile and a chuckle. I show him our color laser printers.
-eDgAR- ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 23:17:25 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a cashier at Borders I had long hair and was starting to grow a beard so I looked a little bit like Jesus according to some. One day I had this lady as a customer, seemed a bit kooky by the way she dressed and acted, but overall was polite. She comments about how I looked like Jesus and then asked me if she could tell me something. I didn't want to be rude, so I said okay and she ended up going on this rant about her life and what Jesus meant to her. There were other customers, so I kind of cut her off and said sorry but there were other people in line. This didn't phase her though, she just stood off a bit to the side and continued on her rant. It was incredibly awkward having to ring up these other people while she stood there quoting the bible. This went on for about 20 minutes before my manager finally came back and she got security to escort her out. She seemed pretty harmless but I was still a little bit freaked out that she would be waiting outside for me after my shift was done and like stab me or follow me home or something.
Pawn315 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:11:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the real Jesus didn't even bother looking like Jesus.
gurg2k1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My co-worker was doing the polite chit-chat thing with her, found out the customer grew up in the same street as some of co-worker's family. So of course, my co-worker (a lady nearing retirement age) asks about if they knew each other.
Prompting the customer to go on a massive rant about what a horrible bitch my co-worker's distant cousin is. With all the juicy detail, swearing, rude name calling, and all loud enough for the whole shop to hear. No amount of polite "we're in the shop. Keep it down" or "she's really just a very distant relative I've never met her myself." could stop this woman.
My poor co-worker was apologising to all the customers the whole time. Luckily none of them seemed to blame her for what had happened.
I used to sell satellite TV to patrons of Best Buy. It was a pretty shitty job - walking up to customers, asking, "Did you hear about our sale on cable going on right now?", then reeling in the few fish that bought the line into a sales pitch on DirecTV.
On one such occasion, some sad sack was moping around the TV's, my favorite spot to catch people. He was particularly morose, not even really looking at anything. I approached and the conversation is as follows....
"Hi there, did you hear about our sale on cable going on right now?"
"No. What it is?" - he says very distantly.
"DirecTV has new packages, bundled and discounted for Best Buy customers. What kind of shows do you typically watch?"
"Oh. I shouldn't be here." - said with more sadness than secrecy.
"Really?"
(long break)
"My son died. I buried him this morning. I just didn't want to go home."
(moment of awkward silence)
"Oh, well, then I guess you won't be needing any of the kids' channels then, huh?"
oh man seriously. you must have been extra chipper to fold that one out
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:44:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tried waiting tables when I was 20 while in college. Time finally came for me to have my own table during the lunch hour. The lady training me was watching from a distance to give me feedback. So I got to the table and can only see two ladies both with long grey hair in pony tails.
I proceed to their table and say โgood afternoon ladies, how are we doing today?โ They both turn to look at me, and holy shit, one of the women has a solid grey mustache. Wait a minute, that lady is a guy, and is with his wife. I tried to correct myself by saying โand gentleman..โ The woman training me quickly came over to rescue me and she said โthis is adam..itโs his first weekโ. The guy who I referred to as a lady said something like โyeah heโs gonna need a few more weeksโ.
And that was my last day in my career as a waiter.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I ask a man what his wife wanted to drink (because she walked away before telling me) and he told me that was his mom :(
bu111000 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you think of it, you complimented his mom, because you thought she is 20+ yrs younger.
synsa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it would've been worse if you'd thought it was his mom and it turned out to be his wife
cujiine ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:34:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the one that said it, but I was involved in the situation.
I worked at a pet store that sold pets and one of my managers bred reptiles in addition to the pet store gig.
A young girl, about 13, had been coming in for WEEKS, slowly purchasing all of the things needed to absolutely spoil a leopard gecko because she had been given the go ahead for a pet and wanted to do everything right.
She bought a gecko from us after holding each one to see their temperament. We offered a 30 day warrantee on all animals so if they got sick/injured/dead in the first 30 days, they could bring them back and we would take them to the vet/replace them. She brought little gecko (his name was Stevie) back after about three weeks because he had stopped eating and was being really lethargic. I called my aforementioned manager over because he knows more about reptiles and in taking the gecko back in for treatment, he'd need to go set it up in a care tank until we could contact the Vet.
Gecko had a seizure in the 45 seconds between my call for the manager and his walking up and died there at the register. Manager comes over and asks what's going on, so I explain everything.
Manager looks in the box. "Oh it's dead"
Girl looks like she's about to start crying. Her dad gets defensive because this is his little girl's first pet and she's now upset. "How do you know he's dead?!"
Manager picks up the very limp, very much dead gecko, places it in his flat palm and proceeds to flop its carcass around in his hand. "It does this."
About .05 seconds after he did this he looks at my face if absolute horror, the dad's look of anger, and the young girl who is now sobbing.
They sat down for about 20 minutes while she said goodbye to Stevie and decided what to do from there and walked out with a new gecko (Stewie) and about $50 worth of product that my manager paid for after apologizing profusely.
In high school I worked at a fast food taco restaurant for about 6 months. High school me was very proud of my long, thick hair, and I always took very good care of it and made sure it looked pristine when I put it up for work.
Once, while working the drive thru, a customer told me they loved my hair.
โOh wow, your hair is so gorgeous!โ
And my dumbass said:
โThanks, I grew it myself.โ
The customerโs smile faded, and they didnโt say anything else after that.
To this day thatโs the only way I respond to someone saying they like my hair!
Someone was questioning me about our food, but I didn't have a lot of answers since our food was pre-made from the restaurant next door. Since I told him that he asked, "So, you guys just heat it up back there and serve it?"
He ended up liking the food anyway but it was really weird having to admit that.
Halloween, I worked as a bagger for Kroger, a friend of mine with the same name as me worked for Piggly Wiggly. We traded name tags at school (we were seniors in high school) and I wore the Piggly Wiggly name tag to Kroger.
Customer on a carry out: "Son, are you aware that you've got the wrong name tag on?"
Me: Nope, this is my name.
Customer: Wrong store.
Me: I know, I did this as a laugh as to prove my theory that my managers don't give a fuck about the baggers. (rant against the company follows...)
Well meaning and loyal customer relays everything back to the manager. Wasn't fired, but the shit that followed made me wish I had been fired. I had a manager or supervisor watching me for a month. I couldn't take a piss without asking for permission (pretty much the only freedom baggers had). Every carryout I went on was monitored and timed. If I took too long I got chewed out, in some cases, even dressed down in front of the customer. I was on an incredibly short leash after that.
What got me fired? While on that short leash I took my hour lunch. It was my scheduled time to go and instead of waiting for the okay, I dashed while no one was looking.
Fuck that, and fuck H-E-B grocery stores for how they treat their employees. Fuck all-such places for shitty employee treatment.
iaywwnm ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 01:18:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well this isnโt something I said, but more something I did. Iโm a host at a restaurant and three guests walked in and I noticed they seemed to be kind of guiding this young girl. So as I sat them at the table I gave her a brail menu. The man proceeded to tell me โsheโs autistic not blindโ
First one: I was serving ice cream the lady ask what flavours we had. I told her all of the flavours are list above and tapped on the sign. She then points at an ice cream in the corner and asks "what that one in the front" I point to the one closest to her and state the flavour. "No the one in the front" I point to the beside it confused I couldn't actually see her hand through the stainless steel top so I was going by what I could see from her arm. "No! The one in the front" I point to the one closest to me. And ask this one? She replies "yes that would be the one in the front."
I reply back "the front facing of the cooler faces you and from your perspective this flavour would be the back as well. Which I is what we would assume you would be referring to. So no this is in back. And it is..." She scoffed and asked what 8 other flavours, the asked what that flavour was again before getting vanilla. And then telling my co-worker that I am rude and provide poor service.
The second time. We had an restaurant customer come in. She grabs some product and asks my staff for her "discount" they tell her as both her and my staff have been instructed that she can only get restaurant prices on called in orders. She then asks to use the phone to call her son (who owns the restaurant.) My staff member working opens my door and asks if she can use the phone. I tell her that we don't allow long distance phone calls and that I have too much confidential information on my desk to allow anyone to use my phone at the moment (I had 10g worth of cash sitting in front of the phone, bank deposit book, other customer invoices, reports on product that had been just made on my desk...if you knew how to read the report you could make the product yourself...and was in the middle of buying change from the event on the weekend for the safe change money. So uh no sorry.) She looks through the door at me and yells "are you serious I am one of your good customers. You won't allow your customer to use the phone so I can pick up product?! Are you fucking serious?!" I look at her and reconize that she is a customer that hasn't paid their bill in such a long time that they were told they couldn't place anymore orders until we received payment. "I am sorry, but I have too much confidential information on my desk at the moment...hense why my door was closed ...there is cell service outside the store particularly on the left side of the parking lot you can make a call on your phone there. I know one can get service there, I have made calls there, suppliers call in from there when receiving isn't answering the door and they don't want to walk back over to the store to ask someone to page receiving." (Her claim was she had no cell service) she came in later saying, she had to drive a mile down the road to get service, and that I always give poor service. I sat there thinking; bitch, the only service I ever provide for you is I deliver your product, at the time and day you were informed my deliveries are at. I haven't forgot your order. I don't go to town to specially deliver you product, I am in town for set pick ups for the plant, these have set days, If you want to pick up your product then be my guest, we don't have to provide you with this service; anyone else who needs product on different day either picks it up or pays the delivery fee and receives it via Purolator a day or two after we complete the order - for your size of orders. Beside you don't even pay your bill until we stop delivering. FFS!
reports on product that had been just made on my desk...if you knew how to read the report you could make the product yourself...
a recipe?
phluke- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was an engineer for a company that made parts for a company I used to work with before that. It was a ball and socket for an aircraft muffler. They were having all kinds of issues with them being too loose but our parts met the prints so QA just kept telling them the parts were good. They sent a guy over to 'get to the bottom of it' which escalated it to me. He was a huge douche I knew from having worked there in the past. Before he arrived I figured out thier ball was toleranced to be smaller than the socket which makes for a sloppy joint especially with thin metal. So I had one fabed up the other way around, ball bigger than bell. Again with the thin metal it worked like a dream, all at our expense.
He showed up and I showed him the parts and said I think I had solved the issue. He measures the parts and said they didn't meet print... I'm like yeah but your print is making bad parts so just update the dimensions. He went on and on about how the print has been the same forever and did we try this or that (we had) blah blah blah. Finally I said, (in front of people), "look I don't mean to be blunt but I don't really give a shit what size you want the ball or socket just tell us and we can hit it but your just going to end up with bad parts that meet print again."
He went back to his company and told them our engineers (me) didnt want to cooperate. They pulled the work from us and my owner lit me up. I explained the whole situation about how I solved thier whole issue and he called the other owner (former A&P mechanic) and explained everything and that other dude got fired.
So I guess he was the one that fucked up?
KyleGriz ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 03:20:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I served at a Ruby Tuesday's for about a year when I first started college and had a memorable experience with a larger party of younger and relatively milfy mothers and their kids. Everything went well and the check was taken care of as they all packed up and left. One mother returned while I was bussing the table obviously looking for something she had left behind. She proceeded to crawl under the table on her hands and knees.
"No no miss, that's alright. You don't need to. You already have me a tip."
Immediately followed by "Please don't get me fired."
She laughed, stood up holding a toy that must've been dropped and told me to "have a good rest of the day sweetie." Needless to say, I was pretty happy that she had a sense of humor.
Buhpuh ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:09:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in sales. Was talking on the phone with a customer about various computer features. A co-worker walked by my desk and pointed at a picture I had of my Chihuahua and silently made an โawwโ gesture. The next thing I said to the customer was โIt has Chihuahua....โ at which point my co-worker starts cracking up and leaves. Customer immediately reacts humorously โIt has CHIHUAHUA?!โ
Raymi ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 01:35:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened today, Mediterranean sandwich shop. It's the GM's day off, and I'm in charge in his absence. I'm working the register, and a lady walks up to place an order. All is well, until I read her the total and she causally says "oh, I don't have any money, or anything..."
Mind you, this is right after the lunch rush, so my blood is still pumping. Rather than scream at her for the stupidity of ordering food she knows she can't pay for, I manage a smile and an "okay, that's fine. Have a good day."
She nonchalantly turns to the salad bar, grabs a bowl, and starts filling it. Seething, I snap "the salad also costs money", and turn to take the next order, figuring she would be ashamed and stop.
Five minutes later, the GM walks in, and yells "Raymi, make my wife a fucking sandwich!"
The worst part? I had met her before. Twice. She's also friends with my wife.
I have never made a better-looking sandwich, nor made one as fast.
That's an employee-friendly policy. Good company to work for, I hope.
Azurealy ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 01:46:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a restaurant that serves really massive portions. To the point customers are surprised how large it is and make verbal comments on it when i bring them to their table. I usually say something like "yea we get that a lot" or something. But one time it was 2 girls about my age and one girl says "woah this is HUGE" and under my breath i said without thinking "thats what she said"
I am a valet. I pull up a car for two elder men and normally I would say something like โEnjoy the rest of your dayโ. Since theres two men, i adjust and say โEnjoy the rest of your days. โ
I dont know if they even heard me, but i heard me.
Oh man this one pops up in my brain every once in awhile. I worked at a gas station for about 4 years and when I quit, I was on my second last shift when this genius tries to go through the car wash with a code that he used previously. He starts yelling over the intercom thing to "just print me a new code I never used this one!" Yet the computer documents the day and time it was redeemed. So I say no, he storms in all like "give me a new code". I say no and he won't drop it or pay for a new wash code. I tell him he can speak to the manager the next time he's in and hope he just leaves. Well, he doesn't and decides to berate me for the next 10 minutes saying "if you keep up this attitude you're going to be working at a place like this forever". I fucking lost it, called him a fucking piece of shit and that how dare he think he is better than anyone who works retail. Said I would be out of this place tomorrow anyway. Told him to fuck off and leave but he wouldn't so I threatened to call the police if he didn't leave and he finally did. Woman behind him decides to chime in and say "wow I think you are being very rude" okay lady you came in at the end of this and didn't hear this sad old man's pathetic projection so STFU. Anyway, I should have just brushed it off and ignored that rude ass comment but I have a short fuse from working in retail. Dude came in the next fucking day on my last day while I was alone and was like "I thought you were done here?" I say "yep last shift". Then I get the bright idea to apologize and say "working retail is really tough and what you said to me was extremely rude and nearsighted but I am sorry for what I said to you". His response was "your mouth should be washed out with soap". I just didn't say anything after that but wow. I hate that I still think about this sometimes when I feel bad about myself. Fuck that guy, I hope he's dead.
d_wib ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:43:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a lifeguard. A little girl (maybe 7 years old) ran very quickly and jumped off the diving board before I allowed her to, as the previous kid had not yet gotten to the ladder on the side of the deep end. In fact she almost landed right on him. I told her that she canโt do that and she started saying โOh I didnโt think-โ at which point I interrupted her and said โNo. You didnโt thinkโ like a huge asshole. Way to go, 15-year old me. I still think about that sometimes and feel bad.
I wouldn't feel too bad about this one. She could've seriously injured someone or even killed them. Sometimes you have to point out to kids that they aren't thinking and they need to learn to consider risks. If I were her parent I would've been completely fine with you saying it.
Am a teacher. I say this a lot. You mightve actually made her a better person by getting to her early on.
dayman89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in the vitamin department of a health food store. Women frequently came in for diet help: weight management, appetite suppression, etc. A woman approached me who did not appear to me to be overweight, but she didn't look very healthy either. She asked me where she could find the "weight management" items. I walked her over to the diet/fat loss stuff... and she told me she was trying to gain, not lose. I just apologized and walked away...
CGkiwi ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:30:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a milk tea shop that also sold snacks like fried tofu and chicken. Our specialty for the summer was the fresh watermelon juice.
Most of our customers were Asian or Caucasian, so when a black guy walked in, it was a bit out of the ordinary, but whatever, its all good yโknow?
So the guy walks up, and my mind decides to vomit all the racial stereotypes possible when I see the guy lights up at our watermelon juice sign.
โI bet heโs going to going to get the watermelon juice and the fried chickenโ by brain says.
โIโll get the watermelon and the fried chicken.โ The dude says.
Holyshit brain, u racist motherfucker.
So of course, being the professional I am, I say โOf course.โ
But it comes out as a shit-eating, prehyphenated โ of course โ.
He flashes me a goddam winning smile while he sees me fucking seize. I suddenly had the urge to become best friends with the tubs of ice cream in the deep freezer.
I gave him his order, he left like it was Christmas.
To be fair, watermelon juice and fried chicken is fucking bomb.
I was working as a barista at a coffee shop that will not be named.
We have timers. We have so many timers. We have timers for making coffee (Even if the pot is still full and hot), timers for washing the steamer, timers for changing out the milk rag, timers for changing the sanitizer water, timers for keeping track of how long the creamer has been outside, timers for making announcements, and sometimes even timers for breaks (Usually just for goofing around with a coworker).
Officially, we're required to wear most of the timers on our aprons and divvy them out equally. This only happens when upper-level management come by because it's fairly degrading and annoying.
These timers are extremely loud, annoying, and sometimes don't work correctly by not resetting when you've fixed whatever it was beeping for.
With all that exposition said
My coworkers and I had been complaining to each other about the timers for a couple years. I decided to go with a planned joke of saying I hear them in my dreams, and they haunt me like PTSD.
Fairly well-received at the time (Even though in hindsight it diminishes the real issue of PTSD into a joke, which is not okay) by customers and coworkers.
One day early in the morning as I was opening I said this to some woman who came by kinda-regularly, as a few annoying timers went off at the same time she was ordering and paying.
I made the PTSD joke, which WAS A BAD MOVE.
She stopped for a moment to give me graphic detail of the issue facing her soon who has PTSD from either Iraq or Afghanistan due to an IED explosion crippling his vehicle and it killed a few of his close friends he had made in the military.
She talked about how he screams at night often in his sleep, how she can't console him and it hurts her as a mother to not be able to soothe his pain.
At 6:15am, I was wide away with anxiety and guilt because I thought it was a good idea to tell a (what I thought, mistakenly) harmless joke. I trivialized her sons serious issue.
For as long as I've worked there afterwards, she has not come back.
I definitely should not have said that 'joke' to her, or anyone in the first place for that matter.
Wow, this experience seems really traumatic to still be haunting you. Sounds like ptsd!
BL8K3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the guy who asks a vet, unaware of his PTSD, if he had ever killed anyone. Guy's face goes from laughter to dead BLANK. I apologized so much I nearly started sobbing. I felt absolutely horrid. It just popped into my head.
It's like OCD. "I have to fold my clothes in a particular way because I'm so OCD!" That's not OCD. OCD is jumping off a bridge because you are 100% certain you've accidentally made a pact with the devil and if you don't cross your fingers while hanging out with your 3yo neice then she will become tainted with sin and die and burn forever in hellfire, and you can't risk doing that to your family.
But at the same time, I think we have to all admit that "OCD" has more than one meaning. Yes, it's a diagnosis for a serious mental disorder, but most people understand that it has a second, colloquial meaning which is different to the diagnosis. I can say I'm OCD about folding clothes, and the majority of people will not interpret that as meaning I've been to a psychologist and they've diagnosed me with a disorder.
What I'm trying to say is that it's OK to use terms like "PTSD" and "OCD" in a colloquial way, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it too much. Obviously, you shouldn't use the terms to purposely hurt someone. And it's good to educate yourself about those disorders, so that you don't make ignorant comments. But it's stupid to say that you can't use those terms colloquially because they only refer to the diagnosis, because that's just not true.
I think my anxiety and remorse were due to more personal beliefs of mine; I feel that speaking of serious subject matter like that in a non-serious manner degrades and/or trivializes the severity of the issue in how it impacts the sufferer as well as how the intentionally/unintentionally 'ignorant person' (In that case, me) perceives the issue.
However, that's just my thing and is definitely not the only way such things should be considered; it's perfectly reasonable for everyone, even those who don't struggle with a particular condition, to be vocal in some degree and keep forcing the issue to be engaged in some way.
I have worked in the food industry, and combined with personal trauma, those timers contributed to my PTSD. Even now - sometimes in Maccas when I hear their timers go off - I can have flashbacks but am on the whole much better.
But yeah, try to forgive yourself.
K1gC ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:58:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Short story. Guy had a bad burn because his girlfriend threw gasoline on him and lit a match. He was released from the burn unit and was suicidal because his girlfriend didnโt want to date him anymore. So Iโm checking the wound before he goes to psych and I have two float RNs with me. He points to his leg and says โthis is the gift she gave me. LOOK!!!! I love her!โ
So I say something along the lines of โyou probably shouldnโt send her a thank you note.โ
He laughs because he is so high and drunk. An hour or so before this he begged me to call his girlfriend and I said โletโs wait till youโre more sober.โ
Iโm sure there was an automatic restraining order initiated to be honest.
I worked in a computer shop a long time ago, in a very small town in the middle of nowhere. One day a "little person" (this is important) came into the store and asked if we had any laptops in stock for sale. As we were a tiny store we did not keep laptops on hand, and had to special order them, so I tell this little person (who, for some reason is starting to look familiar to me...) that I was sorry, but we did not have any in stock, but could order one. He replied that he was only in town for the day and didn't have the time for a special order so thanked me and left. About 30 seconds after he left it dawned on me that I had just sent Wee Man from Jackass away without even acknowledging that he was anyone out of the ordinary. I went into the back and told my co-worker what had happened and she did not believe me, so we went to the VCR recording the 1 camera that covered the front of the store and re-wound it and compared the video to pictures from the internet and 100% it was Wee Man. Later that day we found out that jackass was in the area filming which validated my story. I still wonder what would have happened if I had recognized him and said something different....
Iโm a server. The other night I IDโd a lady with bleach blonde hair. She had dark hair in her pic. She says, โIโve dyed my hair since that picture was taken.โ I replied, โI can tell itโs you, I see your roots.โ I instantly regretted it, but her friends laughed and she took it in stride.
I worked at jersey mikes. A repeat customer comes in complaining about how we always mess up her order. I assure her that i made sure it was correct(it was actually made incorrectly until i noticed) she doubted me, so i tell her " if your looking for the spit, youre not going to find it" it went over her head and she told corporate. I got fired lol
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:52:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first job out of college was at an organic grocery store. Most of my coworkers were normal but 3 of them were convinced eucalyptus oil could cure alzheimer's and most of the customers believed GMOs were part of the Reagan administration's plot to give everyone heart disease. Usually when customers asked for silly Dr. Oz shit I just said I was new and wasn't aware of said snake oil. One day a lady spent over $200 on herbal supplements and essential oils, and while ringing them up she asked me which size rose quartz was best for treating her mother's cancer symptoms. I snapped and said, "maybe if you spent your money on a doctor instead of this crap your mom would have beaten cancer." I was walked out the following week. No regrets!
MetsJail ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a go-karting place that would often host camps. A lot of the times, the camp counselor(s) had to drive the campers if they were too short.
One day, we had a very large camp and every kid needed to be driven. The counselors were driving for a while, so when the race would end and we'd put new kids on, we talked and joked with them a bit.
After one of the races, one of the female counselors jokingly says "hey, how can I make my kart go faster?"
I said... "lose some weight."
What I meant was lose the kid (drive without them and their weight holding the kart down). I don't think she heard me, but my friend next to me definitely did because he didn't stop laughing the entire shift.
I worked at a music school for a period of time (before getting fed up with the incompetence)...
Lady on phone: "Is Manager or Teacher there?... Oh let me guess. they're not available to take my call"
There was about 3 minutes more of aggression from her.This lady was a bitch, we ended up telling her to find another school
Me: No. Manager is not here, and teacher is with another client. And I cannot deprive another client of their lesson time just so you can complain about the same nonsense you always do.
Also note: Teacher was sitting right next to me,(she didn't want to talk to the bitch today)
Instead of stopping there I doubled down and proceeded to tell her:
Me: You need to calm down, there is absolutely no reason for you to be this agressive and hostile with me. It's ridiculous and embarrassing you'd treat someone this way. So we can take this from the beginning niceand calm, or you can call me back when you get over yourself.
Lady: [screaming.... I mean screaming]
Me: [pulls phone away from ear and rolls eyes at Teacher]
Customers come to my window all the time on their phone. We have a strict "no phone calls at the window" because we need their input on several key factors and some information from them. One older woman springs to mind, who wanted to renew her registration tags (TX) but wouldn't put her phone down.
She hands me her renewal notice, and then she tells me "Just the renewal" she tells me. "Alright," I reply in a peppy tone, "I'll start once you're done with that call." This turns her expression sour and she glares at me; "This might take awhile." To which I unflinchingly answer her; "I'm here 'til 5, and I'm getting paid to be here, ma'am. I can wait here all day if you'd like."
She called my supervisor over, who politely pointed to the "NO PHONES AT WINDOW" signs posted on every clerk's station. Begrudgingly, she shuts down the phone and looks at me as if we've insulted her entire heritage.
"Can I get my sticker now?" she harps.
"No," I answer in kind, "you need your inspection first."
I sometimes need to try to convince customers to take their receipts, I told one guy who was getting a small packet of trail mix "You'll need your receipt as they might ask about your nuts as you leave" I immediately regretted it and my coworker beside me snorted but luckily the customer didn't say anything.
Another time a customer asked where the cream was and instead of saying "the cream in on the side and you grab it yourself" I pointed to the side and said "cream yourself"
1-ice ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:34:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was bartending at a high volume sports bar/game center (yes, that one) and I was having a rough Saturday night. A drunk gentlemen stumbles to the bar and interrupts me talking to other guests to ask me an all important question, "Aye, y'all got any Amstel Light?" I do my best to finish my convo with the other guests but he continues to persist with this request. I finally had enough and my filter completely disenergrates and I burst out, "No we don't sell Amstel Light, do we look like a Fucking strip club?!?!" As soon as that leaves my mouth I gasp in horror of what I just said to this undeserving stranger. He pauses then retorts, "Haha, you right tho!" And promptly leaves and disappears. The previous guests cheersed to me and put some money in my tip jar. Everything went better than expected.
Dave and Busters? They used to serve Amstel Light when I frequented the place, but that 10+ years ago.
espernz ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 23:53:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store in the bakery department. When any product was about to expire the following day we would put a 50% off sticker for a quick sale to reduce waste within the dept. So one day this volumptious woman comes up with a 50% off birthday cake and asks for a birthday msg to be written on it. I oblige , hand her the cake and she sort of pauses reluctantly as she is taking it from my hands and rather rudely asks "when was this cake made ?" I explain that it was made 5 days ago and that it will expire tomorrow and that it's a great deal if she plans on eating it straight away. She then questions how fresh it will be and how it's sat on the shelf for 5 days already. At this point I'm slightly annoyed bc I have already written on this thing and working in the bakery I have ate my ass a fair share of 50% off cakes that didn't sell ... bc nom nom, and they were just as good as day #1. So, during this encounter I happen to glance at her cart and it's full of Joe Lous, granola bars, cookies... all kinds of goodies packed in boxes that have a shelf life of year or more. Just junk. I simply say " well I can tell you this cake isn't going to last as long as that pack of Joe Louis " with a smug smile on my melon. Caught her off guard and she agreed when I put it that way and waddled off.
They are a "sweet treat" in the same category as hostess cupcakes, which I'm pretty sure means there are more chemicals and preservatives than real food! That being said, they're pretty tasty!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my workmate. The other day I was taking an order and this lady (on the larger side) goes, "how big are your nachos?" and my workmate turns around and says "they're quite big, most people get them to share between two people" and she replies "oh well I'll get that as my main" he felt pretty bad straight after.
aswb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was serving a family.
Me: how is everything
Mum: great, but my taco is dripping everywhere
Me: thatโs what she said
Was working as a bell hop. My manager asked me to go up to the 16th floor to help a customer with some bags. No problem. Easy work. So I run to the elevator and press up. The doors open and I go to run in but immediately stop as a woman is backing up with one of the rolling luggage racks. I yell "Whoa, watch out! Lady with a rack, coming through!". My jaw dropped and my manager fell behind the counter laughing as this woman turns around with this look of shock and disgust and I immediately realize she has the BIGGEST breasts I've ever seen on a woman. Super foot in mouth situation.
Not me, but a friend. We were working in a call center catering to a telco. Customer keeps on asking for >$100 credits for overages when they forgot to call in to get the discounted roaming package. We are only allowed max of $20 worth of courtesy credits per account. Customer deems it unacceptable so my friend goes โwell then, is there anything else?โ. Customer hung up.
I always tried to make small talk when I was serving food at our grocery store. I swore I heard an accent on this woman, and, in making small talk, asked her where she was from. She said she had a stroke and had to learn how to speak again. I have never put the lid on food faster.
My cousin works at a pharmacy and one day a customer called into the store to cancel a prescription. My cousin, who tries to do his job as best as he can, realizes that the medicine is required for the customer's condition on file. He asks the customer, "Are you sure your wife is going to be okay without these?" Before he could even finish the sentence the man on the line began to cry and said, "She passed away last night."
I worked at a supermarket and a woman came through with a can of dog food, and I wittily made the comment, โgetting something for lunch are we?โ
I immediately realised how deeply offensive that was, apologised and promptly tried to disappear from the space time continuum.
pangy80 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:32:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling a engagement ring to a guy and his GF/fiancee and she as a real bitch, he had a budget and she was trying to blow that out the water by at least 3x, she kept telling him that it was either that or she wouldn't marry him, you could tell she was a horrible bitch, I turned round to him and said are you sure you want to do this, she went mental and walked out, by this time I had lost the sale so as he followed her I wished him luck and told him he will need it .
On paper I shouldn't of said it but he seemed like a decent guy and she was a dick so fuck it
I used to work as a clerk at a small grocery store and occasionally there was a blind customer that we would help should. Just help him find things he was looking for and whatnot. Well one day he wanted some brand of chips that I'd never heard of and I'm struggling trying to find them so, to aid my search, I asked him if he knew what they looked like. I immediately realized my mistake, apologized, and went to go die in a hole from embarrassement
This could be about me. I went to a truck stop in KY and was buying cigarettes. I jokingly said โbe careful who you call oldโ he responded โI went to high school with you, you look exactly the same, apparently I donโt.โ ....oops.
I worked in a toy store when I was 19, I was having a conversation with this lady and she was telling me about her kids. So Iโm listing along and she says to me โoh, when you have kids youโll know what itโs likeโ. And I looked at her and said โoh I donโt want kidsโ. It got awkward real fast.
MILF was thanking me profusely for helping her, don't remember exactly what she said but my response was "you're not too bad yourself." Asked for my managers number instead of mine...
Iโm a pretty sarcastic dude. Just my personality. However, Iโm usually pretty positive and always joking around. This can be a problem when dealing with a customer at a drive thru window.
Mother orders macaroni and cheese for her son. Routine is we put utensils in the bag. A coworker and I butt heads over whether mac&cheese gets a fork or a spoon. I say fork.
Upon the mother reaching the window, I ask her, โDo you eat macaroni and cheese with a fork or spoon?โ
She says spoon.
Rather than saying ok and giving her the damn spoon, I proceed to say...
โYouโve failed as a mother.โ
This asshole comment would have flown amongst me and my close friends. To a random woman feeding her kid? Maybe not the best idea.
Somehow, she caught my sense of humor and laughed it off, even when my manager tried to apologize. That woman probably saved my job that day.
I work a kid's event and have a plush toy named Molly. Someone asked me if we had any left. "Yeah man, we have plenty of Molly left, how many do you want?"
Was ringing in a guest's to-go order yesterday. At the end of his order, he goes, "And 2 pepsis or cokes." On the computer still typing in the food order, I distractedly say, "Yeah, we do coke here." Whoops.
I work for my city. I was running VIP parking for one of our events. I was instructed that no one gets in this lot without their VIP sticker. All the city counsel and officials should have them. Well it's getting late and I'm already pretty annoyed at people being stupid when this suv pulls up at my gate. The passenger rolls their window down and it's a grey haired man sitting there. He asks if this is VIP, I say yes but you need to have a pass. He then looks me in the eye and says, "Son, do you know who I am?". Even more annoyed, I reply ,"No sir." He then says," Son, I'm the mayor." And without even a pause, I blurted, "Well, i don't care if you're the Queen of England. You're not parking here without a pass." I immediately knew what I had done. The man angrily reached into his glove box and produced the pass. I let him through. Apparently, he went straight to my head of department to tell her what i did. Luckily my supervisor heard what happened and stopped her on her way to fire my ass and explained that technically i did what I was told and shouldn't get in trouble. Luckily she agreed and now there is a book with all the VIPs pictures and names and I'm no longer allowed to work VIP parking.
I've posted it before but it belongs here. Priest patient with Brut cologne bottle in his sigmoid. Me: What happened? Him: I fell. Twenty year old, first x-ray job me: that must have been a very accurate fall father...
Working as a cashier, I had a customer come through the line and made me deal with some coupons or splitting the payment or something, so she said, "Sorry for being such a pain in the ass." I took a calculated risk and said, "That's okay, my ass is used to it." She paused for a second and processed what I said. I was thinking, "Shit, I shouldn't have said that." She was finally like, "Well, I guess I deserved that." Fortunately she managed to make use of her sense of humor.
MsWhimsy ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:03:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guest tell me I was the rudest person on the planet....
So I clutched my hands over my heart and thanked her like she had just given me the best compliment.
I probably shouldn't have done that but it did shut her up. Never got a complaint...I think she was pretty drunk.
For the record she was mad that she left her wallet on the table and when she came back to the very busy bar her wallet was gone. I worked at the front desk of a resort and when she asked me for her bag I thought she meant she checked one in with us. It was after she mentioned how we are all idiots that she said I was the rudest person on the planet.
I worked in fast food for three years. I was a manager for half of it. One day during a fairly busy morning. My lobby cashier had rang in an order wrong. The large middle aged man proceeded to tear into my 16 year old cashier. She was in the back bawling her eyes out before I even knew anything had happened. Now I'm not an aggressive person by nature, but I cared about my employees and made it a point that they feel safe. So I just about lost it on this asshole. The string of thoughts didn't have time to form, they just kind of blurted out all at once.
"Do you feel good about yourself? You fat piece of shit. You just made a sixteen year old girl cry. You have to be over twice her age at least. Get the fuck out of my restaurant, and if you come in here again I'm calling the fucking police."
Everyone in the building fell silent real quick and the guy ran the fuck out of there.
Somehow it never got back to my gm, that or I didn't hear about it.
She was a sweet kid, and people can be garbage.
Merakus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:38:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah, good on you man. One thing I miss about working at mcdโs is being able to throw people the hell out.
I worked as an advisor in the service department of a Volkswagen dealership. There was a VW called the Eos that had all sorts of problems its first (maybe only?) model year with leaky seals in the hard top convertible. So many of these cars came in with leaks.
So one day I see some jabroni pull up to the service department in an Eos. I greeted him and half-joked "lemme guess, roof is leaking?" He says "how did you know?" I told him "ah, man, these things all have that problem."
Guy threw a fucking fit that VW (via me) was acknowledging they sold him a piece of shit. Pretty sure he went to the sales department to continue his fit and demand they buy the car back. My service manager was not happy.
Overnight stocker for a store that was open 24/7, some kids, late teens really, were playing in an aisle and "pretending" to fall, recording it on their phones and as I walked down, I told them to "Go be stupid elsewhere". Luckily my managers are fantastic, so if they had complained, the managers more than likely would've told them the same thing lol.
Not at work, but my friend's dad literally just died earlier that day and we all went to her house to support her and show our sympathy. Our other friend asked for a ride home (she was dropped off) and I asked what happened to her car. She said that the car finally broke down. I then said "So it finally kicked the bucket?" I was mortified. I think everyone saw the look of instant regret in my face.
I was a server at Denny's for about 8mo (the turnover rate is about 336% at the store, so anything over a week was actually great) and I was a very experienced employee due to my seniority at the store. But, this one table came in, they had 2 boys about 2 and 4 years old. The dad was a trashy guy, he had a grey, nasty Oakland shirt with stains along the neckline. The mom was just as trashy: makeup on her eyes from what looked like 3 days ago, and her hair was an ugly red, and greasy - trashy kids, trashy parents. They were yelling at their kids to shut up and to stop making Salt Zen gardens on their menus. Just being kids, you know? But you could hear the dad from across the store "Sit down you fucking kid!" They made a huge deal about waiting for their service for over X amount of minutes to my manager, which I later found out. They got their food late as well, and it was all messed up, of course because it's fucking Denny's and all the cooks are stoned to the bone. Anyway, they made this huge mess of syrup and napkins and soda all over the ground. I saw that they didn't even tip me and I whispered under my breath "thanks for the tip" in a sour way as the mom passed back from the restroom whilst leaving, she clearly saw me cleaning the disgusting mess too!!
The family had left, or so I thought. When all of a sudden the husband comes in, a big 300lbs guy, comes stomping in and begins yelling at my manager saying "you want a tip?! Well here's a tip, have better service!! And have a better staff that doesn't dick around!! I'm not paying for shit because none of you do your job!!" Then, I said to my manager "yeah, I'm not kissing his ass for a dollar. I deserve better treatment and I can refuse service. I get paid $2.13 an hour." And then they fired me for not sucking up to the customer.
I once worked at a call center and had a call come in from an extremely upset women. She just went off on me and I could barely get a word in.
It goes like this for a few minutes when I finally got out something about it being quicker to solve the problem if she'd calm down and let us focus on it.
She yells at me, "NO! You're going to listen to me for as long as I want you to! I don't care if we're here all damn day!"
I shouldn't have, but in a flippant tone I responded, "Okay. They pay me by the hour anyway." Oops.
I didn't get in trouble in any formal way, but I was advised to be stop being a smartass.
I used to work front counter at a Dairy Queen. One slow winter afternoon a guy comes in to the completely empty store decked out head to toe in camo. He started barking his order before he was even at the counter so I pretended to jump and said "Holy crap bud, you blended right in! I didn't even see you there!"
My supervisor asked me if I would go help a member who was looking for a particilar wine in our wine section wearing a blue shirt. I found a blue-shirted man in the wine section searching and promptly went up and asked him without even thinking about it, ' Are you the one looking for the Menage a Trois?'....... Anywho, needless to say, not the right man.
I work overnights at a large midwest convienence store chain.
About 3am im there alone and a dude comes in grabs a bunch of the cookies near the front counter and turns to walk out without paying.
I say loudly from about 15 feet away "Hey! You gonna pay for those?"
He turns around with a sneer on his face and pulls up one side of his hoodie to show me a large handgun tucked into his waistband.
I look at him and throw my hands out and say: "Really dude? Over cookies?!"
Yeah, probably not a good way to handle that. He just called me a bitch and walked out. Count myself lucky he wasn't in the mood to take that any further. Dude just wanted some free cookies.
I used to work tech in an office store. I'd frequently get phone calls that were actually meant for the copy center, and I'd just transfer it - no big deal, right?
Well one day a customer calls and asks me if we print on pillows... To this day, I have no idea what died in my brain at that moment, but my brain kept thinking they were referring to some new type of printer or whatnot... so I asked, "what's a pillow?"
I'm assuming they thought I was messing with them 'cuz they just kept saying, "a pillow! a pillow!" without explaining to my nonfunctioning brain.
Eventually they just hang up -then I remembered what a pillow was...
evel333 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:34:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer with a heavy German accent. When I asked for his last name I could have sworn he was saying โHitlerโ. In disbelief, I asked him to say his name 3 more times. After the last repeat, I apologized and for some reason asked him to spell it. โH-I-T-N-E-Rโ he yelled. To which I idiotically replied, โOhhhh, Hit-NER!!โ
Waiting tables. Busy night, had a 6-top of 3 middle aged couples along with 5 other tables in an enclosed area. 6-top ordered another round of drinks but the bar was behind and I had food to bring out so it was going to be a wait even though I ordered them right away.
One guy from that party loudly calls me over and rudely says "Things are gonna get real ugly if I don't get my drink soon..."
Before I could stop myself I replied with sarcastic horror "Oh no, sir! Its already too late for you!"
All the guests nearby heard the whole exchange. Should not have said that. Then everyone in earshot started laughing hard. Except for him. He was SO mad and made it a point to cover the bill but not tip me. But his wife handed me a huge tip on the way out and said the rest of their party chipped in so it all turned out well for me. I thought for sure I'd end up fired instead!
Work retail and just as I finish my lunch, having called my wife, I clock in and the phone rings. Some woman asking if we have a parka in stock. Check it, yes we do madam, we can put it aside for you to collect in store, okay great, see you then, have a nice day, bye, love you.
An elderly couple came in to a restaurant I work register at. One of them was on an oxygen machine. They order and say they're going to sit outside, because "it's such a nice day, and we don't have many left."
So in my infinite understanding I respond, "Well, nobody knows when they're gonna go!"
Only after they left did I realize it was starting to get to the end of the fall season. They probably meant we don't have many nice days left in the year, not that THEY don't have many days left.
Oops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me (stoned teenager) to thirty something woman in the department store at which I was working as a stockboy: "Wow. Those are some fantastic tits." <brief pause, notice she's looking at me, kind of bemused> "I said that out loud didn't I?" Customer (smiling): "Yes."
AhhBisto ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:15:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When i was 15 i worked in a shoe shop at the weekends, and i was helping this woman out with a pair of high heels and said "Christ you have big feet for a woman".
It wasn't even that bad but she took it really badly and had a shouting match with my manager, so i had to work in the warehouse for 2 months after that.
StarBirb ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked retail at a small theme park over the summer while in college. One of the stores sold a bunch of trinkets and toys, including those shrink-packed pajamas that expand to normal size when put in water, several of which had farm-animal designs, like cows. We also had pens with a little squeezable cow toy on the end.
So, this slightly plus-sized young lady comes in with her friends, and practically freaks out about how cute the cow-themed trinkets are. One of her friends said, "Yeah, she's obsessed with cows, loves them, can't get enough of them" or similar; without thinking, I immediately blurted "She even looks like a cow."
I immediately realized what I said and apologized. Her face took on a look of shocked hurt, and her friends started laughing. Thankfully she was a good sport and I didn't get in trouble (I was already on thin ice for my faster-than-mind mouth). I try not to be a horrible person, and I don't mean things like that, but my mouth has a way of saying things without realizing the full social import or effect.
One time I had a joker as a customer, and at the end of their meal I asked if they needed any change. He replied,
โdo you think I should change?โ
But instead of that, i heard him say
โshould I leave change?โ
So I answered
โI really shouldnโt comment on that, sir.โ
I didnโt say it but my friend did. We worked together at a pizza place that our third friends father owned. We served slices as well as whole pizzas.
This one really nice older woman came in. She didnโt speak English well but ordered her food just fine. My friend then proceeds to ask her if she wants her slices โfor here or to go?โ The lady responds that she wants her slices โfor goโ in a thick Russian accent. My friend looks over at me as Iโm putting her slices in to the oven and says โI need two cheese slices for go.โ
We simultaneously start laughing and this woman is visibly embarrassed. I felt so bad but the fact that he said it without missing a beat caught me off guard and made me crack up. I hurriedly put her slices in a box and sent her on her way so that she could get the heck out of there. Poor old Russian lady. From then on we would ask customers if they wanted their food โfor here or for go.โ
I work in a group home, so my "customers" are the kids I work with.
There was some sort of problem with our building's electricity, and I was checking the breaker box while explaining to one of the kids what it was and how - in theory - it should help me fix the problem.
Kid: "what if it doesn't?"
Me: "Then we're shit out of luck."
Kid: "....."
Me: "You didn't hear that."
(to be clear, with the kids I work with, it was highly unlikely he hadn't heard such language before. I just try to keep my mouth in check while at work)
Pharmacy tech. Guy comes in and asks for a refill of his "Superman pill" and then clarifies that he means Viagra. I ask "Do you call it that because it makes you faster than a speeding bullet?"
While working in s restaurant, a guest pointed out a hair in their food. I looked at it, then said "At least it isn't short and curly."
dan2872 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one happened today:
At my store we have a frequent customer who's not entirely with it. Always asks for my name repeatedly, store hours, and will ask the same question with increasing fervor until he gets the answer he seeks. He's occasionally a nuisance with other customers, but never anything menacing. I'm generally very patient with him, he's not trying to be obnoxious and there's no point being anything but hospitable.
Today he's looking for History Channel DVDs. I don't have any, there are only 2 I can order upon searching. He asks over and over for historical places and presidents, only History Channel, and finally he seems to understand that there isn't one.
He then asks, "Any news on George Washington?"
"No, I think he's been dead for a while"
He simply replied, "Any new DVDs on George Washington?" without pause and with no change of tone or body language. I felt bad; it was hilarious.
Unknown Person: "What are you doing to fix the payment terminals at my store?"
Me: "Right now? Nothing."
Unknown: "WHAT! Why not?"
Me: "Because I'm on the phone, talking to you."
Apparently Unknown was the Operations Manager for not just that store, but the entire chain of stores. In my defense, I was already in my ninth hour of work for the day and the new fault meant I was unlikely to finish until well into the tenth.
I did fix it after I got off the phone, though.
I was doing door to door work for a charity, lovely gentleman answered the door with his young son, I said "My goodness he's big for his age, has as much hair as his dad does already."
Turns out the dad was going through an aggressive chemo course and lost most of his hair from it, I was the only one there but it still haunts me...
I was a waiter and a customer said the clam chowder was "too clammy." Before thinking I said "What the Hell did you think clam chowder would taste like?" Thankfully his wife burst into hysterical laughter and it defused the situation.
Not directly to a customer myself, but as a trainer. As hyperbole, I was making the point that sometimes customers who call for help will make you want to say to them "I want you to think about what you've done.", obviously, I wasn't serious, and the class had a laugh and we moved on.
Fast forward to being a team manager and there are a few people on my team that I trained. I'm listening to one of their calls, and the Agent says to the customer "I want you to think about what you've done".
Hooooly shit. Good thing they had great rapport by that point because the user and the agent had a great laugh and the agent resolved their issue. I didn't even have any coaching for him because the only reason he felt like dropping that line was because they'd been having such a riot already, so, hell, man. Go for it.
Ikeelu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:13:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic since it was to a friend, not a customer, but I feel like it fits reguardless since it was definitely a "I shouldn't have said that moment."
House party at a friend's place. A friend of mine has gotten testicular cancer twice. A huge part of that is due to him smoking menthol cigarettes or good chance it is. He recently got his second nut removed and saw him spark up a menthol. I just got so angry in that moment. I just couldn't help think this is the action caused him to lose both nuts! How could he possible continue? I angrily said to him "how the fuck can you keep smoking that shit after all that? <Paused for a sec> "guess it doesn't matter, you can't lose another". At that moment I shocked myself and froze thinking "I should not have said that".
My summer-job is to sell touristy stuff over at the marketplace over here. This particular summer there was a huge Jehovah's Witness convention taking place in the city so we had a lot of them wandering around the place and one of them happened to come over to my tent. He asked how's the weather been and I answered them: "You are lucky to be in town this week, because last week the amount of rain and flooding we got was damn near biblical!"
Needless to say, that didn't go over so well, especially since I am a fairly staunch non-believer... The talking to I received for cursing and using the word bible in the same sentence was something else and then when I foolishly admitted to being a heathen (as he put it) it turned into a whole conversion attempt. My sales-persona unravelled after about 15 minutes and I got tired of his tirade so I exclaimed "If converting leads to spending more time with the likes of you, I'm sure to sacrifice a goat to pagan gods by tonight!"
It was pretty quiet in the tent for a while after that...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer called and was angry he was being charged taxes on his cell phone bill. He asked me who he needed to talk to in order to remove the taxes and I said
I run a diner with my dad, he cooks, I serve. One Sunday (our busiest day) I was training two new servers, and thus apologizing in advance to ALL my customers, telling them I may be a bit slow today. This one lady was absolutely livid at how long she had to wait for her order. She got loud pretty much immediately. I was staying as calm as I could (it's a small diner, everyone could see/hear). At one point I said "Ma'am I'm very sorry, I'm training two girls and doing the best I can" to which she said "No, you aren't." That was it for me. I said "Well if you'd like to get up and help me, feel free." and with that, she was a fireball of rage. She was SCREAMING in my diner, in front of HER kid, in front of other people's kids, I was basically talking over her asking her to leave repeatedly. When she finally left I apologized to the room. She tried to stick her head back in and say one last thing, but her husband pulled her out. Something tells me she's done this before.
I once said that a certain girl resembles a bowling ball not aware that she was standing right behind me. This was in high school and it still makes me cringe hard.
soulpush ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A Virgin Mobile customer called to get compensation for 3 hours in which she had no service a day that was stormy and snowy. After educating her about how the signal sometimes is affected by the weather, and how we could not compensate her as there is no proof of an actual outtage (the customer might as well simply stopped using her phone for 3 hours for all we know), she still demanded compensation. So I went all logical on her ass:
โAlright maโam, so, you pay $35.00 dollars for a 30 day period; that is $1.16 dollars per day, which brings us to around $0.05 cents per hour, so your โcompensationโ would be $0.15 cents for those 3 hours you claim you had no service. Would you like me to give you a refund for $0.15 cents?โ
After a few minutes of her yelling at me and at my supervisor I realized I shouldโve handled things differently.
HSoup ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:35:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer by a co-worker:
I was in my office when one of my very attractive co-workers came into my office to ask some advice. Her husband and her were thinking of buying a pool table and she was asking me because she knew I played a lot of pool.
I discussed a few of the more popular home table makers, but ultimately said that if they could get there hands on a Brunswick Gold Crown, it would be the best option. I began to discuss how wear-proof and stable they were, and because I like to use absurd comparisons (all part of my charm), I imagined that I was holding her by the ankles and swinging her like a bat against the pool table, but my mouth said "For instance, I could bang you against a Gold Crown and it wouldn't budge."
This was followed by a pregnant pause, where we were both analyzing what I just said (her with fear and me with confusion), when I broke the silence with "...you know, if I was holding you by the ankles."
More silence followed by an awkward "Well, thanks for your help." I just sat there, confused by my inability to predict how both statements we going to sound coming out of my mouth.
We didn't talk much after that.
TL;DR: Hot lady asks for my advice, I oblige using an example where I'm having violent sex with her.
Several years ago, this customer was being overly particular about how I was doing my job. I had been there for several months already and she was genuinely acting as though I didn't know how to do it...needless to say I was getting annoyed with her. I tried think of a nice way to tell her I knew what I was doing (mistake #1) and eventually said, in a voice I thought was nice, but actually wasn't (mistake #2) that "I know how to do my job around here." (Mistake #3). You could've heard a pin drop...neither of us said anything, and there I was instantly regretting saying anything at all. She started being extra nice and sympathetic and said I could go get another employee to take my place if I wanted to, which made me feel like even more crap than I was. Eventually I finished helping her and she went to check out at the registers. I guess she never mentioned anything to the manager because I never got in trouble for it, but I never saw her at that store ever again.
I was helping a customer just a couple weeks ago when one of our regular customers walks up and starts making sure I'm doing everything right. He says "Yup, that looks like it." And I respond with "Almost like I know what I'm doing, huh?" He walked away without saying anything else.
I've been doing my job for 17 years... people will always think you're doing it wrong.
I worked in a clothing store and I once had a moment where I mixed two sentences together on accident because my brain couldn't decide what to say. The customer was very upset and instead of saying "is there a problem?" Or "what can I help you with?" I said "what's your problem?" I was very pleasant when I said it but the customer went absolutely beserk.
So I sold computer parts in the early PC days. This person who was clearly a man dressed as a woman comes to my counter to check out. So I ask for his last name to look him up in the computer system. Letโs just say the last name was Doe. It just so happens there were only two names under Doe in the system, John and Jane. The naive man that I was, I asked โAre you John?โ His response was โDo I look like a John to you?!โ He then proceeded to be real shitty with me, which I guess is understandable.
Used to work for a large department store in the housewares area...we had some curtains on clearance and this lady comes up asking if we had more of them. I checked the computer and it showed something like 5 so I told her that were showing 5 pairs and that since they were a clearance item, they would all be on the floor...cue the bitching about there only being 2 packages.
She asked me to check the backroom, I explained again all clearance in home was on the floor, she kept going on about how she knows they're back there, even after I tell her I personally marked them down that morning and put them all on the floor. Which is when I screwed up...
I mentioned there was a trailer in the dock and that the way our computer system worked was anything in the shipment was auto added to our inventory and they might be in a repack box (box that has several smaller items combined in a larger box)...she wants me to check the trailer. I tell her the load was around 5k boxes according to the manifest...she doesn't care, I need to check them all for her curtains.
By now, I'm pissed, put on my retail smile, and told her, "Ma'am, you're welcome to do that yourself because I'm not doing it.". Turns out she was an undercover shopper and kept demanding my name, told her to leave the store and go straight to hell...got a written warning but it was worth it....
Work in customer service life insurance death claims processing .... instead of telling the agent to expect the death claim kit (which I've said flawlessly a million times)... I said "death clit" and then went silent red faced while I tried to keep talking on hoping he didn't notice my mortification!
I wasn't talking to a customer. My girlfriend and I were walking around and saw this statue, it was kind of a weird abstract statue with figures in strange positions. I forget who said it, but one of us goes "Is it about sex?" Kind of jokingly. As soon as this was said this older woman walking by said incredulously "It's a Holocaust memorial." We both felt pretty shitty after that.
Yes. I taught a semester on Night by Elie Wiesel and researched different US memorials and statues as well. Initially I thought you meant the famous one with the very tall, lean figures cast in a dark metal but then I remembered this one.
At a safety convention in Philly, a Latino customer walked up to the booth next to ours. He told the exhibitor he didnโt speak English. The exhibitor replied, โLet me go get my coworker that speaks Mexican.โ
At a book store, a young reader book was scheduled for release on that day. A woman came in to purchase it. I hadn't seen it, so looked it up in our system. Still in transit. Our delivery had been delayed (no reason given, of course).
Customer had a fit. Threatened to go to Barnes and Noble (next town over in the bigger city. About 40 minutes away).
My response was basically, "Go ahead. I have strep throat and don't want to be here anyway."
She complained to the manager, who shrugged her off. (of course because he did not want me to call in sick. Wouldn't that just be the worst? And of course I was a part time employee with no leave time)
I work in medical transportation of patients (kinda like ambulance light) in Germany. So I had this one patient with prostate cancer which has metastasised basically everywhere. Me thinking him already knowing that he is probably going to die soon bring up my grandmother which had died in 2014 with similar metastatis (dunno if this is the correct form/word). Anyway so he asks me what happened to my grandmother and me not really thinking about it told him that she died very quickly after being diagnosed and right after him telling that and seeing his face I knew that Iโd fucked up. I tried to make it better by telling him that Iโm not a doctor and that every patient is different but I still miss stepped badly. But I guess he is dead now anyway so this is my story of words of regret.
My mum works at a market on Saturdays selling flowers, but she also loves to bake. One of the other stall vendors was buying some stuff off her and she was busy so asked me to drop it off and grab the cash. I've spoken to this man numerous times. He's a lovely older man. I know he has a prosthetic leg and a cane. But when he was getting the money and made a joke about my mum 'having to send the muscle over to get the cash' I for some reason opened my mouth and said 'don't underestimate her, she'd chase you down and break your legs'
And then I died right then and there. Rip in peace me.
kphly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer, but a patient of mine. I work in surgery. Monday morning my first case is an add on lap appendectomy. I look up my patient and of course heโs a young, healthy male, mid 20s (Iโm young female, mid 20s).
I go to meet him in pre op area and interview him. Go through all of my questions seamlessly, trying not to act flustered by his good looks. Finally, he asks if he can use the restroom before we go back to surgery. I say yes, but I always ask if the patient received any pain medications, as that can make them unsteady on their feet and cause them to fall. He tells me no, he hasnโt gotten any pain meds. My response, without skipping a beat is โgood because I wouldnโt want you to go down on me!โ He just looked at me and awkwardly laughed.
I was bringing drinks to a table at a fancy dinner and a woman at the table pushed her chair out suddenly and knocked the tray I was holding, spilling the lone bottle left on my tray all down her back.
I apologised profusely and went and got napkins etc to mop it up and clean her up as much as she could.
After cleaning it all up, I asked if there was anything I else I could do for her.
She grumpily said, "Well making me not stink of beer all damn night would be a good start"
To which I instantly retorted before I could stop myself: "Done! That was cider not beer, Miss."
My eyes shot wide open at what I realised I had just said.
The look on her face was trying to make me spontaneously combust, so I left immediately and avoided that table like the plague for the rest of the night
Waiter at a wedding reception centre. One table had had a bit too much to drink so I was asked to slow them down. An older woman joked with me about sneaking the table an extra jug. I put my hand up to my ear mimicking a phone and mouthed โCall Me.โ My intent was to imply โyou had to call me on my super secret phone and Iโll hook you up with a secret jug of beerโ but based on her confused and disgusted expression it came across as something else.
I donโt know what goes through my head sometimes.
A customer demanded an apology over the fact that she wouldn't be able to get her skis worked on faster without paying the premium rate, so she said "I want an apology. Like this "I'm very sorry for the way I've treated you."
And I just said, "apology accepted." And walked away.
I work at a taco place. I have a worrying amount of stories where I either SHOULD have gotten in trouble, or barely restrained myself from making trouble.
In the first category: some drunks. Itโs 10:50 and weโre so god damn close to closing when they all stumble in. One orders the Roscoe; chicken, bacon, an egg, maple syrup, and a waffle on a taco. But he didnโt want the bacon, egg, or tortilla. Just the chicken and waffles.
โSo you just want breakfast? Thatโs why you decided to bother a taco shop thatโs about to close? Classy move.โ
A guy pays for his order, but it isnโt ready yet (call-ahead ordering). He asks me honestly, โAre you guys ever on time? This always happens.โ
โOn time? Nah, probably not.โ And i walked away. We were busy.
In the second category, and i swear this is true: a firefighter crew came in, on call. They check out the menu and one approaches me. โHey! You have a taco called The Republican. Itโs main ingredient is a sausage link. Sausages look like dicks. Are you fucking liberals?โ
The best thing to do there, I felt, was to not answer and stare unblinking until someone changed the subject. Which i did, which they did. Itโs a good thing I did too, because my snap-responses are never witty enough to fly. I was probably about to go with, โIf you wanna suck Freudโs dick and the GOPโs too, then yea I guess we are.โ
Doesnโt even make sense.
cstir15 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a manager at a country club. One of my members is former military and an all around great dude. He sits on the board of an organization that helps soldiers rejoin society and deal with thoughts of suicide. He himself struggled with it in the past. A few months ago, it was late and everyone was super drunk at the bar and I had sent all of the hourlies home. Heโs sitting at the bar with a woman who was also former military and was in his organization. They had mostly finished drinks in front of them and I motion to the glasses in an attempt to be casual and cool and say โoh, fallen soldiers?โ I still cringe thinking about it.
As a 16 year old I worked in a brewery/restaurant as a hostess. Normally I'd say my regular shpeel and be done with it, but one day I was seating this gay couple. People normally like booths so I walked them toward a booth and they started fawning over a baby that was on the way. When I got them to their table they were still talking about how cute the baby was, and you know what my conversation breaker was "if you abduct it, it could be yours". After that I quickly said our specials and ran away.
So I wasnt the worker here, but one time my mom and brought my sister and i to grab some things for a trip we were about to go on. We were waiting in line and theres some hand sanatizer on the side. My sister opens it uo and smells it. "Mmm, this smells like heaven!" She said. "How do you know what heaven smells like?" I said. "I dont know" "it probably smells like a bunch of dead bodies, ya know"
Then the chasier stopped everything. And said "THATS JUST MORBID" and stared at us. We hid behind our mom and probably turned bright red
I was working as a school counselor for the NSPCC - kinda like the UK equivalent of CPS, for "troubled youth" and the likes. Lots of kids coming from fucked up backgrounds, poverty, abusive or missing parents, some kids with so little family around it's like someone systematically went and burned down their family tree. The one thing I was good at, really, was to find the one thing that would help a kid open up: even the most secretive, apathetic teen in the world usually has some sort of interest, hobby or even morbid curiosity for something. For some of them it was music, for others it was sports, a few of them it was graphic arts, but generally you couldn't go wrong with animals. Except if the kid had shown psychopathic tendencies, I would try and have them interact with dogs, cats, even a couple turtles, and it was so great to see these kids' faces light up and forget about their issues for a moment.
However, there's one time where one of the kids - he clearly had some developmental issues, which, considering his background, was understandable - just became obsessed, and I mean obsessed, with one of the shaggy dogs at the local shelter that we would visit once a week or so. One of these big goofy dogs, completely unaware they have fangs big enough to decapitate someone. And the kid would not. Shut. Up. About the dog. Every waking second I would see him he would ask how the dog's doing, is he being a good boy, does he like treats... I know I sound heartless but you've got to understand, he was literally on my case all the bloody time. So one day I snapped and told the kid that if he wanted to know more about the dog, he would have to bring it up with the owner, and give the kid a fake owner's name so he would go and bother someone else.
Next thing you know, the bloody kid and his only two friends went on a wild goose chase to find that owner "Nicolas Flamel" I had just made up, somehow managed to obtain the philosopher's stone and all in all prevented the return of Voldemort. Crazy year that was.
I got a job at a shitty MLM thing over summer selling credit cards in the street, and I accidentally tried to sell a credit card to an old lady with dementia or something. It was horrifying. I knew exactly nothing. She just seemed like a relatively normal looking oldish but not so old lady. And I was being pushed to try everyone, so I was. She basically latched onto what I was saying and kept trying to sign up. It took me a few seconds to work out that she wasn't ok by which point it was a bit late . I was trying to turn her away, and I think her daughter was trying, and she was insistent she wanted a credit card. Eventually the guy who was supposed to be my boss managed to get her to leave, but I felt terrible.
Also, there was an autistic guy and again, I didn't know until I'd gotten into the pitch. He just sort of stood there silent and sort of confused as I started to introduce myself. And from the rest of the week, that wasn't unusual, because people don't know what you're doing, and you're not supposed to let them know immediately. So, I started, and asked him his name and shaking his hand, and his mum just went "Please no! He's autistic, leave him alone". And I just sort of apologised heavily, and he was still stood there for a few seconds before his mum carried him away. I felt like a proper shit.
Also, it was really easy to stop relatively youngish women. And also guys a bit too, but a little less so. I worked that out quite quick. But I feel a bit shitty knowing that.
As a dog groomer, I told a man his dog's hair was "Wack". It grew in all sorts of directions.
Scrpn22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a Little Caesars, but we arenโt a corporate owned store, itโs a locally owned franchise, and we charge more for everything I know, bullshit right? Well corporate still sends out coupons that donโt apply to our store. Older gentleman comes into the store asking for an extra most bestest (he had pulled this stunt before, I wasnโt present for it but I had heard all about it) well I told him it was gonna be 7 something to which he slaps the coupon on the counter and proceeds to start yelling loudly and saying โNOPE, NOPE, ITS 6 DOLLARS IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE.โ
โSir, we arenโt a corporate franchise and we donโt participate in this-โ
โNOPE. IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE. THATS YOUR ADDRESS! CAN YOU READ SONโฝ DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READโฝโ
I was already having a rough day, so I just snapped.
โYES I CAN READ SIR, CAN YOU HEAR? DO YOU KNOW WHAT ONLY AT PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS MEAN?โ
Well this guy blew the fuck up. He started screaming bloody murder at me, getting in my face, all that shit. Thankfully my manager came up front and dealt with him but I thought he was going to fucking kill me
Had it happen the other day and was absolutely mortified.
I work in a bottle-o (liquor shop) and was chatting to a friend while I was working the counter, lady comes in with a trolley and starts loading quite a bit of product into it. She looked like she'd come in from the heat and looked sweaty, finally she comes to the counter and starts to rattle a list of different bottles that she needs off.
I grab the bottles and start scanning and like a smartass say 'Hey Party at your place!'. Lady looks at me with a numb stare and says it's not for that type of party. My stomach instantly drops and I realise what I thought was sweat is actually tears falling down her face.
She explains that her husband died recently and she's buying all this product for his wake. I immediately apologise for my behaviour & thoughtless words and proceed to die inside, knowing that my friend who is still at the counter is probably dying with laughter. I truly wanted to cry after this lady left my shop.
This is one of these moments that are going to keep me up at night.
A year ago I was waitressing and taking care of 2 tables โ a table Of six (parents) and their three 12 year old boys were sitting at another table across the room. They were in town for a lacrosse tournament or something. So I love kids and always get along with boys/guys so for some BIZARRE reason, when one of the moms asked if the kids were giving me a hard time, I replied: (verbatim)
โoh no, theyโre great! On the inside Iโm secretly a 12-year-old boy.โ
They stared at me. My manager overheard it and hasnโt let it go since hahahaha
I once worked in one of those parking booths at a big university (terrible job, but tons of time to read) . For the most part my customers were amazing but every once in a while someone would come through and โforgetโ their wallet. We had a system to charge their bursar account but it was a huge pain in the ass for everyone and I hated that it was literally only for students....
And Iโd give people a hard time... because 9 times out of 10 theyโd magically find their wallets when I pushed back.
The worst:
Her: I donโt have my wallet.
Me: thatโs not good... is there anyone you can call or...?
Her: No.
Me: Well I canโt let you leave without a method of payment so...
Her: but I donโt have my wallet
Me: Miss, what would a GROWN UP do in this situation?
Her: ...
She was NOT happy. Called management. Got a good talking to about it.... and a bit of a giggle.
I was a teenager working at a pool and covering an opening (5 AM shift). I was tired because I stayed up doing homework and I was doing this shift to cover for someone who had the flu. Some middle aged woman comes up to me and says "you look terrible" and launches into some prissy lecture about how unprofessional I am for looking tired and blah blah blah. Without thinking I blurted out "well, at least I look better than you".
She just about blew a blood vessel and screechily demanded my name. A day later my boss talked to me about it, apparently she had said I'd just randomly cussed her out and insulted her, so once I told him what really happened he just rolled his eyes and didn't care.
I work at a doggy daycare. This bitch comes in on the regular with her two boxers, insisting that they not be in the same yard because the male will mount and scratch the female. (We're like, okay, whatever, they live together, you bat.)
Anyway, we have three yards, large, middle and small. I put one boxer in large and one in the middle. At the end of the night, we condense our dogs, all large dogs from the middle go in the large so we can have the middle open for "no open play" dogs to go potty.
They aren't supposed to be together so we were rotating them an hour in the yard for each.
When she came to pick them up, she threw another bitch fit, saying that one boxer was up for too long, and she needed them both to be here today because she wasn't feeling well, and needed a break from their high energy. I told her, I put them in separately and rotated them. She called me a liar and said she had been watching for two hours.
I proceeded to mutter "Why don't you clock in if you know so damned much" as she exited.
Guess she didn't hear me because my manager hasn't said anything. xD
My company sells toys to toy stores and other retailers. One toy in particular repeats what you say in a high pitched voice. A customer came into our booth at a trade show and threatened to place an order. On their way out I made a comment to one of my employees that the customer was bullshitting and would not return to place an order. I forgot the repeater toy was on and the customer heard the toys repeat of me. Needless to say, they never came back or placed an order.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My family owns a nails salon near a ghetto neighborhood, so a lot of the customers are rude, ignorant, and racist. One time, we refused to provide service to this drunk woman, she got mad and started yelling in the store. I asked her to leave nicely, but she did not want to leave and yelled at my face. I just snapped and said: โey yo bitch, get your fking stinky ass breath out of face and get the fk out of here! If you are going to act like an ignorant piece of $hit, then people are going to treat you like one. This is a civilized society, go back to your fking $hithole or wherever the fk you came from.โ I slammed the door in front of her face and locked the door. The customers looked at with fear and intimidation. I felt awful for saying those things. I guess after years of working at that place, my mind and body could not take it anymore.
Not me, but I used to play guitar in a wedding band, and once the band leader decided to dedicate a song to all the ugly women in the audience (as the beautiful women usually always get the dedications), adding that โyou know who you areโ.
Not a customer. But in highschool the "your mom" jokes phase was in full swing. We had a classmate that came back after two weeks off from his mom passing awaw. We are at our lockers, and of course my dumbass fired back at him with a fat mama joke. I couldn't apologize enough. He was so super cool about it, he said he knew someone would say it eventually he was just glad it was a friend. I almost fucking cried you guys.
Worked in the parking lot at Disney (not gonna clarify which park cuz I think company has dumb policies). There were a lot of dumb/impatient/rude things I said. Especially when acting as the speaker on the back of a tram.
Off top of my head. One time the tram driver made a sharp turn. And I immediately got on the microphone and said โand you thought you were done with Space Mountain!โ Turns our a couple people almost fell out, we didnโt have the doors on trams yet, and were pissed at me and the driver. And security had to come file a report, didnโt get in trouble. But everyone in the break room called me an idiot for โadding fuel to the fire.โ
Another time, when dropping people off, I clarified to them the speed limit of the parking lot. And then added, โBe careful, Bambi already lost his mother.โ Nobody laughed. For either of the groups I used the joke on. Iโm glad nobody reported me.
Another time, when directing cars to park, we were told to parallel park them at front of lot, due to limited space. One guy stops me and asks, from inside his car, how we expect him to leave. He was actually asking about pulling out of the space. I thought he was worried about scrapping the car door on the curb. So I told him, โjust open your car door, youโre fine.โ You know when someone is wearing sunglasses but you can still feel their glare? Thatโs what happened and he was like โI know you did not just say that to me.โ And when he clarified what he meant I was like โoh.โ And rushed to check front of the car to clarify there was enough space.
I have a lot of cringe memories of me interacting with customers.
When I managed a restaurant I had a customer eat his food and then complain it was horrible. I looked at him and said " If it was good enough to eat then it is good enough to pay for". I felt like an ass but the guy was so shocked as I walked away. He just paid and said nothing.
Met a new coworker for the first time and while making small talk he said he went to Palmyra, New York for vacation and I said did you find any โGold Tabletsโ there? He the says โI am Mormon and thatโs offensive to me.โ
Worked for GeekSquad as the Advanced Repair Agent.
I was swamped with work but my desk agents had a long line, so I was forced to help them out..
I had a women in her 60s that needed a computer checked out (we finished working on it).. I bring it out, turn it on and show her that her internet connection was working fine... she proceeded to go to about 10-20 different websites and started to open every email she had on AOL that she missed...
I politely asked her to sign the paperwork which she kept responding with โI need to make sure it can get onlineโ
My response?
โMaโam itโs online, weโve literally wasted 15-20 minutes of you just checking your emails. I have other shit to doโ
Her response was the typical โWhat! Iโll be buying my next computer from Walmart!โ
Which I had to open my mouth and say โwe really donโt care to be honest, plus try getting the same level of tech support from Walmartโ
My manager wound up laughing at me and said if it werenโt my last week, and if they werenโt so behind Iโd be on a final...
I was working reception desk with another employee, when a customer comes in and hands me a piece of paper telling us that a car with that registration is blocking him from getting out. He then walked into my building (not back to his car which I should have paid more attention to).
Reluctant to give a customer announcement over the microphone for all the customers to hear, I allow the other receptionist to do the call. "Could the owner of the vehicle with registration NE14-ABJ please come to the reception, thank you"
Took us both a couple of seconds, but we eventually got it. The guy got us good. We work in a children's play centre.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:18:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many. Server stories!
I once explained rat kings to a table. They loved it but the people next to them.. did not.
I once said, "sorry I fucked up your meal" really sorry to a table. They got me fired for that one.
I was really stoned at work one day and just completely didn't know what a customer was saying. I apologized but uh... They hated me.
Not as a server, but once I went to a customer's place of work after my shift (I was pizza delivery guy) to apologize for late service. When she rudely dismissed me, I called her a cunt.
I was serving an Indian couple at a bar and when they were walking away I said "thank you, come again" the way Apu says it in the simpsons. I don't know why I did it, I wasn't thinking at all
Not me but my bartender friendโs experience. The resort we work at has a well-known cocktail that comes garnished with a little plastic pig (it has historical significance). Well one day he poured a glass of wine for a table and jokingly put a pig on it, thinking that the server would catch the error and remove it. She didnโt catch it and it was sent to the table with the pig on it. Turned out the customer had some extrapolation and thought he was subliminally calling her fat, a โpigโ if you will. Not at all the case, but I think he got a stern talking to about that.
zomofo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said "see you next Tuesday" to a client. He looked at me and I looked at him and we both knew but had to play innocent.
He was a cunt though.
I walked up to the register, holding a hat. I said to my coworker that it was the ugliest hat that I had ever seen. There was a customer in front of her and she had just bought that hat.
When I was in high school working a part time cashier job, I was ringing a customer up and I could tell she was exasperated and frantically trying to find her coupon for her purchase. It was store policy for customers to physically present the coupon so I just waited awkwardly while she fished around in her purse.
She then starts oversharing with me that shes been back and forth visiting her mom with dementia at the nursing home which is why she forgot her coupon at home. Thinking I would lighten the mood I said: "Huh, looks like it runs in the family haha".
Working retail years ago, I had a kid (16?) ask me about the best way connect his iPhone to his car. I went over the various options he could use and ultimately said " it all depends on the deck in your car." He apparently misheard me and thought I said "it all depends on your dick."
Iโve had plenty of snarky comments to customers I end up regretting. I get more satisfaction now in not allowing them to alter my good mood than to react with some smart ass comment. This way I feel like they didnโt have control over my own reactions.
Working as a gas station attendant in a rural town (under 3000 people), after 6 pm we required that gas be paid before pumping. I was having a long shift as I was covering for the deadbeat, so was essentially working a double. The nights are usually dead and easy, which was good because at this point I had a pretty short fuse. For some reason people always tried to get the prepay, I assume they took it personally. This girl around my age comes in, she was from out of town, but funnily from somewhere I had gone to school, she asks what prepay meant, and I assumed she was trying to get around it like the others and I snapped "What do you think it means?" to which she stormed out.
Was thinking of a meme while serving serving food at mcdonalds. Fat woman with her vile bratty spawn waddle to the counter and say "I ONLEH GAWT 8 NUGGEHTS!". I'm still thinking of the meme, and instinctively say "It's our new diet plan, fatass"
didn't actually say it but I was working as a grocery assistant when I saw a guy with one arm walk by looking for something in the aisle, I nearly asked him "do you need a hand sir?"
Obviously late to this thread, I would like to say the top comments are weak.
Christmas, 2012: Iโm working at a mall in Ohio watching a woman and her two male associates because I suspect them of shoplifting. She is checking out with several of those fucking annoying discover gift cards for 25$ each while her men walk around the store. She has all her bags on the ground behind the counter where I canโt see so Iโm very focused on the bags and the wandering associates. She leaves...
20 minutes later I get a call from a woman in Kansas asking about her card being used in Ohio... OMG that woman wasnโt using several discover gift cards, she kept ringing the same stolen card so as not to trigger the alert and I was too busy watching her friends to notice!
January 2013: a woman and her child enter my store to make an extraordinarily large return/exchange... I have a nagging feeling I donโt trust this woman...
โOMG YOUโRE THAT BITCHโ comes out of my mouth when I realize who she is... she throws all the clothes on the counter/floor and bolts out the door. Instant regret I didnโt excuse myself and call mall security...
This happened a couple of months ago, I work at a grocery store and over time I developed a habit of just saying good things to customers. Eventually, comes in this funny old dude, me and him talk from time to time and then he brings up his restaurant. I (should have shut my mouth) said "I should go sometime" the guy invites me for the night and I don't go, things become awkward as the next week or so I see him and I don't want to go so I explain I'm busy and then somehow I get roped into going that night. I never go and I never saw the guy again but I genuinely feel really bad about it.
can i share mine that's not about work? i was in highschool and i was talking to guys a bit older than me, and one of the girls was super nice. we started talking about music because i was hosting a radio program and i had been interviewing bands. So I mention how this band's manager is such an ass and he wouldn't talk to me, and she's like "...that's my dad".
i still see her and i still think about that moment. she was so cool about it too haha
I work in a call center and a customer was talking about Trump being in her city and how he was trash talking the city at a rally because they didnโt vote for him. Iโm in another state that was pretty much all Trump and knowing the call was being recorded by Quality Assurance I still said โWell unfortunately we did vote for him sigh.โ I paused as soon as I said it and thankfully the woman laughed.
Or maybe the time I accidentally insulted a girl who was talking about having just gotten braces. She sounded around my age (20) so I kinda laughed and said โYeah at this age I definitely would have opted for Invisalign. Iโd look ridiculous in bracesโ immediately wanted to take it back because the girl got kinda quiet. Felt like a major cunt. I was absolutely speaking about what Iโd personally do but I knew it came off as me judging her for her choice. Sorry.
Not me but a coworker at the movie theater I worked at. We were both assistant managers at the time. Our theater had a small issue with mice in the theaters.
A customer had their bag on the ground during the movie. A mouse crawled into their bag. The customer didn't notice. Got in their car and was driving home when the mouse decided to jump out of the purse. Customer freaked out! Came back in super pissed. My coworker said "yeah, we have a problem with mice".
I would have said "Oh really, a mouse, where do you think it came from?"
We had a loooonngg corporate retraining meeting after that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh back in the day when I worked at a record store, an exotic looking woman walks up to make a purchase. Trying to work on my customer service skills I asked where she was from, she said Afghanistan or something. I said wow, welcome to America! Then she proceeded to say she's lives here, and has since she was a child. I just put my head on the counter after she walked out.
One of the numerous customer service jobs I had; was at an inbound call center for directory assistance when people were still dumb enough to have 2 dollars tacked on to their bill to inquire about a phone number.
Got a call from a woman trying to get the number for a Payless (the shoe store) in Manhattan on 8th and Broadway. After exhausting just about every search option I could think of, and not finding any listing (the management wanted calls to be done in a matter of minutes for effiency): I informed her as such.
Customer: "Don't give me that bullshit: I know it's there! I'm standing right across the street from it!"
Me: "Ma'am; perhaps you should cross the street, so you can go inside and ask them what their number is."
She, of course, got pissed off and wanted to talk to a manager. After I forwarded the call, I was told I'd be fired if I ever talked that way to a customer again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mumbling "fucking princess" under your breath to a complainant.
I work in the beauty industry and a lady was asking me how to make her skin look young again. I started my answer with โwell, besides building a time machineโ...
Wasn't actually me, but I work at Chick-fil-a, and my co-worker was working the register. It's almost time to close, but these two girls walk in on their phones, barely noticing that no one was in line. We were kind of rushing to close, so my co-worker at the register says, "Hey, how bout you girls stop texting and order some damn chicken?" He has mild asperger syndrome so we kind of laughed about it, but I don't think the girls laughed too much.
Went to get my hair cut at the place I usually go. After my hair was cut and at the register, the 25ish nice young lady was ringing me up. They had a touchpad thingie that showed the price of the service and asked for the amount to pay. Remembering from the last time, the system really just wants the tip amount from you (it will add for you) and touch 'OK', I looked at the girl and said: 'You just want the tip, right?'
Worked at a Jimmy John's for a while. When I was still newish and getting used to bar rush, I got comfortable talking to drunk college kids as though they were, in fact, drunk. Got a call to one of the dorms, and I could barely understand the guy (during a really busy time of the night, so I was a little flustered anyway.) I said to the guy on the phone "Haha, dude you may have had a little too much to drink, I didn't really catch that. Could I get the order one more time?"
Apparently it was the dude working the front desk. He just had a really thickly accented and mumbley voice. I apologized, he yelled, my manager gave him a free sandwich, I apologized again. Good times.
I manage a dispensary in Vancouver. I work a lot of 12 hour shifts and this was near the end of my 8th in a row so I was extremely burnt out. An older lady with rectal cancer came in and asked if we had any suppositories. I blanked at what that meant, said yes thinking she meant orally taken canna caps and when I was about to get them for her that lightbulb came on and I blurted out "oh you meant the ones you stick up your butt, no we dont have those". I felt really bad after though and sat down with her and helped her find a dispensary that carries them in the city.
Rude customer at the HMV I worked at - he'd been a total prick about everything: the prices, the lighting in the store, the placement of the anti-theft stickers on the CDs, the "tinny" sounding music from our sub-par speaker system, the way we had the music organized, etc. etc...
So he finally pays for his shit, and then informs me that he's "Never coming back to this shitty, poorly run, incompetently staffed, etc. hole EVER AGAIN."
I meant this as an in-my-head thought, but it slipped right out, and I said, "Don't do me any fucking favours, asshole."
He stomped off and, to my delight, never did come back.
Ralo13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a shitty overnight call center with my cousin years ago. It was often very dead so sometimes people would doze off with their headsets on in case a call came in.
Well, one night my cousin dozed off and received a call while he was audibly snoring through his headset. The customer on the other line heard him and asked โUmm, you sound youโre sleeping. Should I call back?โ. My cousin wiped the drool of his mouth and replied โ...yeah, hit us back.โ
The call was recorded, as they normally are, so he was caught red handed but only received a write up lol.
Not exactly a customer, but there was this super hateful elderly man living at an assisted living facility I worked at until recently. I was the only person working night shift and I was responsible for 20 residents, some more independent and others needing borderline nursing home level care.
Anyway, back to the hateful old man. Oh, did I mention he was a priest at some point? He was on fluid restrictions, so he had to be monitored because he would go steal other residents' water pitchers during the night and absolutely refused to let staff take his water pitcher to be washed and refilled. He wanted two in his room at all times, but we were told not to allow this, which I would explain to him often. He was always hateful about it, but one night I guess I had had enough so when he said his typical "Go fuck yourself" and "You and upper management can go to hell," I responded with something along the lines of "Sounds great, guess I'll be seeing you there." He then died from flu complications right before I quit. I felt kind of bad, but then found out others had said much worse back to him.
Working at that particular facility was soul-crushing to say the least.
Earlier in the day a customer had shared a story about a piece of wall art. Composed primarily out of glitter, they would always shed fairly large amounts. The customer joked that her son had told her that glitter is the "..herpes of the craft world. Once you get exposed to it, you can never get rid of it." I laughed, the customer laughed. Good story.
Well I can't read a crowd apparently and decided this long skirted, cardigan sweater wearing, staid, home schooling looking duo currently checking out would appreciate this bit of information. So as I'm finishing their check out, putting their large glitter art in a bag, I say "So I just learned that glitter is the herpes of the craft world! You can never get rid of it!" Chuckling to myself, but hearing no laughter joining me, I look up to one completely appalled face, and the other lady cleared her throat and replied, " Well this is going up in our church so...".
My smile disappeared. I quickly handed them the bag and wished them a great day.
Tl;Dr: Joked about glitter herpes to two ultra conservative women at work.
Hotel guests refuses to look up a pizza place, I give him a recommendation and phone number. He comes back downstairs pissed off that I didnโt give him the correct number. So i gave him the same (correct) number again, and he gets it wrong an additional two times, i look at the number he is dialing and itโs not even close. I stand there shocked and point to his phone and ask him โwhat are you, just making up numbers??โ.
Used to work a drive through at a fast food joint. Girl sounded American with a bad British accent. I said, "Can you slow down please and speak clearly? I can't understand your fake accent"
At the window, I understand that she's a foreign exchange student from London.
So I work at a major theme park in Orlando. And this little person comes in. Then his son, also a little Person, follows. They are dressed alike. When guests enter in I tend to joke with them to start their day off right. And in a NORMAL situation what I say to fathers and sons dressed the same doesnโt offend anyone. But in this case....it did. I said, โI love that you guys dressed the same. Heโs like a little you.โ
I think โI shouldnโt have said thatโ a lot actually but I do it anyway lol.
Whenever someone ask me where movies or books are, I turn around and point to the giant sign usually 10 feet behind me that says Movies + Books and say โright under the giant sign behind me.โ
"If you apply for our credit card you can save your mom $100!"
The woman was not his mom. She was his wife.
I have never felt worse about anything in my life.
L0U22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a one armed man if he needed a hand with his food.
I was checking out a customer and was just asking the usual questions. How are you? Did you find everything? He just replied with no, I asked him if he wanted me to call someone to double check for the item but he told me not to bother because he was in a rush. After he paid though he changed his tune, he told me my customer service was horrible and how I shouldโve doubled checked anyways and that he would never be shopping here again.
I didnโt say anything, just watched as he pushed his cart out but before he got out the door he realized there was an item in his cart we both missed. It was early in the morning so I was the only cashier and he had to come back to my line to check out. I was honestly just trying to make a joke and said โWhat happened to you not shopping here anymore?โ He didnโt find it very amusing though.
I was waiting on a two top- a girl and her gay male friend, both probably in their mid 20's. He ordered a rose wine, and she ordered a martini - "extra extra dirty, lots of olives - I love when it's salty!" Without even thinking, I said with a chuckle, "Men must love you!" Thinking they'd, ya know, laugh.
They didn't laugh. And my heart pretty much stopped as my gut hit the floor. #whoops
sSommy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy came in, had a shopping cart but only a couple small things. He's a regular, young guy, him and his girlfriend walk everywhere, so I joked "Gee a cart just for that?? "
He says "No the cart is to help me walk because my fucking leg hurts". (Not cruelly said, just in a voice of pain).
Turns out he'd fucked up his leg and had a huge cut, had just got home from the ER. I felt horrible but he took it well, I apologized profusely and thereafter asked how his leg was, and he showed me his gnarly scar.
uupb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long explination about how we didn't have time for his gfs walk in makeup appt. He was rude and agressive to my coworker. I can over with the same explination about how we were booked.
He says "ugh! Are you serious?"
Me "no im f*cking with you"
Doneuter "ok do you see the icon that looks like thi-"
aqu4man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client that managed an assisted living community. As usual, I ask what kind of things worry her at work. She tells me that her number one concern is an elderly resident with dementia wandering off. Now, what I meant to say was, "I can't imagine what it would be like to have to care for actual human beings when I can't even keep my dog in the back yard." What came out? "Wow, yeah, I totally understand. My dog is always escaping the back yard." Everyone in the room just stares at me, and can't believe I just equated all these seniors to dogs. I wanted to die.
Viral88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working the customer service desk at the smallest Kroger in town, we get quite a few calls from people pretending to be from Western Union (money transfer) and try and smooth talk us into loading prepaid cards without realizing what we were doing.
Being the sarcastic ass that i am, i play along for a minute until they get frustrated. Dude on the other end of the line says something along the lines of "are you an idiot?" I respond with "suck my left testicle"
Customer i didn't see walk up to the counter just looks at me, straight faced, and asked why i was so partial to my left testicle. -cue mortified face-
Thankfully nothing was mentioned to management
shyphon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first day of work at a grocery store, I had an elderly gentleman customer ask me where the hot dogs were. Not knowing where they'd be, I started looking around and saw a sign that said hot dogs. Being awkward teenage boy, I said "uhhhhhhh, probably over there under the sign that says hot dogs." I didn't mean for it to come out sarcastic, but oh boy he was upset.
He was not happy about my snarky attitude.
S1enga5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a nice restaurant as a waiter. We were short on staff, so the service was quite slow that night. A group at the table started to complain to me that they have been waiting for their food for more than 30 mins. My response was: "This is a restaurant, not McDonald's".
They looked shocked when I said it. Just then it hit me how rude that was..
I worked as a teller at a bank. We always had old people who, for whatever reason, just refused to show ID. It would drive me insane. I mean, itโs a bank! Surely, some level of security is expected...
Anyways, this incredulous old dude comes in and refuses to give me ID. After a bit of back and forth and me explaining why ID is necessary he pops off with โIโm a seniors advocateโ as if that means anything.
Without even thinking I reply โseniors advocate? Is that the same as being a grumpy old man.โ The guy just harrumphed and walked out. Immediately I was aware I shouldnโt have said that... still felt good tho.
I was interning for a political campaign and was assigned to phone banking that fateful day. Essentially, I was given a list of phone numbers and was told to follow a script when calling people to see if they had turned in their mailing ballots. A gentleman answered and when I asked if he had turned in his ballot yet, he said โI just got diagnosed with prostrate cancer. I am trying to enjoy my last few months. I have no time for ballots.โ
Now there was nowhere on my script with how to deal with prostate cancer, so my brilliant and socially adept ass simply said โOh, well good luck with your prostate cancer!โ And right as I hang up, I hear โwhat the fuck did you say?!โ
And that is why I was told I could no longer phone bank for that campaign.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite from retail was middle-aged women/men basically demanding discounts at the counter. I'd give them anywhere from $2-$5 dollars off. On the receipt I have 'Pensioner's discount' as the reason. Sooooo many angry people.
Serving at a popular food chain a customer asked "where are your shrimp from?" and given it was the end of a busy night I was tired enough at the time without thinking I said, "I'm not completely sure but I would assume the sea."
They stared at me for a couple minutes before I mumbled that I would go ask the kitchen.
As a server, I had a customer who was making everything difficult and she complained that her food was taking too long. I responded, โoh donโt worry miss, we want to make sure you are able to eat and then leave as soon as possible.โ
Her friend was holding back a smile and she was pissed. She didnโt tip me.
My wife and I were lucky enough to work together at our first job after being married. I had already been there for over a year, and was on great terms with the managers. A customer walked up, and was frustrated about...something. Anyways, the customer gave my wife her phone number for the rewards and my wife accidentally mistyped it or something and had to void the ZERO dollar transaction with no payment or item on the receipt, and tossed it in the trash. The woman yelled at my wife to dig it out and give it to her. I saw the whole thing and walked up, when she yelled at me as well. I told her, "No. That's not necessary. It's a zero dollar transaction void and doesn't have your info attached." She gets more mad and says, "Oh! We have an attitude, do we?" I mocked her and said, "Oh! WE have an attitude, do WE???" Then I proceeded to print a copy of her receipt to shut her up, and handed to her. But I did so as a knight would do handing a blade to his queen. I took a graceful bow whilst handing her the receipt, and leapt away with a feeling of glee. Nobody talks to my wife like that and gets away feeling like a winner. My manager walked up, and I said, "Well, I've done my part. She's all yours now." My wife was almost in tears because this woman went from 0 to 100 when it came to yelling. Over a receipt. With nothing on it.
I work at a bakery, and every Saturday we use the oven to make pizzas. But we only do it on Saturdays and we only make 50 pizzas, so we have a pretty regular customer base. Well this woman Nicole always calls and orders a pizza and picks it up herself. One day her husband came in and picked it up instead. I knew it was him because her name was on the order form He leaves and I (a 19 year old male college student) say that he, (dudes gotta be at least 45 and definitely has kids) say Nicole's husband is really good looking. I turn around and the guy had forgotten something and was standing right there. They didn't come back for a while.
chibewa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Game Stop and a customer wanted to trade in games but didn't have a license. He said "Man why do I need a license. I'm an adult" to which I said, "If you were an adult you'd be able to prove it with a state issued ID" we nearly fought in the middle of the store.
Once I was serving this very elegant, lovely couple at a restaurant I used to work at in Minneapolis. I felt slightly awkward around them because they seemed so graceful and high brow. They both were wearing really unique eye glasses, so in a terrible effort to make small talk I asked them if they โowned an eye glasses store.โ Not only did I word it like an idiot, but a better question wouldโve been if they were optometrists or something like that.
The wife stifled a smile, stole a glance at her husband and slowly said, โUm, no. We donโt.โ
I later found out the guy was Jim Pohlad, the owner of the Minnesota Twins (MLB), with his wife.
For the record, theyโre incredibly lovely people and I served them a few times after that and they were always very nice.
So there's literally only 3 of us where I work at. We have this this where if someone asks who someone is we reply with "the guy your sleeping with" example "johnny says" who's that guy" I say " the guy your sleeping with" bear in mind it's just between us employers. Anyways a customer came in and sounded exactly like one of our people and asked who the other guy was. I said "the guy your sleeping with" naturally and then I turned around. It was someone else entirely and his girlfriend was just staring at him with her mouth wide open and the dude was like wtf man.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer called in nagging about having to pay a late payment fee, and his bill had overdue balances that led up to about $400 dollars. After screaming about how we werenโt treating him fairly he asked me if I had that kind of money to pay for bills. I said โ Well sir I never let my bills pile that high so I havenโt been in that situation before.โ Honestly would have been more empathetic if he wasnโt such a cunt.
I work as a bank teller, and when people want to know their balance i will ask if they want me to say it out loud or written down for those more private folks. This lady came in with her son, and she was blind. She asked for her balance and I asked โwould you like me to say it out loud or write it down?โ She replied โwell if you could tell me please I canโt seeโ I felt like shit. It was just something I am so used to saying it just came out..
I was cooking pizza on an action station at a busy ski resort. A couple at the bar were watching me while drinking several cocktails. At one point the woman asked me "how do you stay so calm? It's so busy, I would get flustered". Without realizing it, I blurted out "I smoke a joint on my drive in, and another before service, keeps me super calm". She looked at me like I was crazy. Luckily her husband laughed.
They ended up leaving a note for my boss saying "We appreciated the happy pizza chef, he made our night". To which my boss asked me what I did. Because people left notes for him about me often, but they are never good.
I started serving two years ago, and I was pretty nervous asking customers for their ID. After three months I started getting into the rhythm of things. I work in a pub so I have to ask frequently. A couple comes in and I ask the wife for her ID. She doesnโt seem too happy that I asked. Most women are flattered when I ask. I was confused and tried to make the situation better by making a joke. She hardly hands me her ID. I see the year that she was born and it was my mothers birth year. I say โHey! You are not that old, you are as old as my mom!โ. She instantly starts crying and leaves the booth to go to the bathroom. The husband gave me the most fowl look. I just walked away thinking โWhy on earth did I say that?!โ
I used to work at a kodak store while I was studying for my degree. I only worked on the Sundays. Mostly, a Sunday consisted of taking passport photos, and helping customers download photos off of their phone to print out. We also do scans of older photos. A woman comes in to collect her photos one day, and I hand her the package with her name on it. She lets me know that something is wrong with her order. So I tell her there's a couple things we can do. I can phone my manager, she can come back into the mall during the week, or I can do some kind of discount - not much, mind, because I don't want to lose my job. Apparently, none of these are the right answer. She starts fighting with me, while other customers are in the store and starting to notice. Eventually she tells me she "Feel(s) like you don't give that much of a damn!" So I tell her "Lady, I work here one day a week on minimum wage to pay my bills. I don't know what to tell you."
I was then reported at the mall service desk. Fuck that lady. Fuck that job. Something about personal photos made the customers so aggressive from the get go, and I'd often have to spend forty minutes per customer trying to help them.
Working at a bookstore and a gentleman was talking to me about learning sign language. I asked him what got him interested in learning about it and he told me his sister is mute. I replied "oh, that's awesome!" and tried to save it with "I love people who are different!" ... He just kinda stared at me like the buffoon I am. From then on I have made a conscious effort to stop calling things awesome out of conversational laziness.
Not me, but an old coworker. A customer was returning an item and he spoke very broken English, so she was trying to be accommodating. When she realized we couldnโt take the item back, the customer started back talking to her.
She was trying to say something to the effect of, โIโm not trying to rip you offโ or โIโm not trying to be a jerk hereโ.
She ended up saying, โIโm not trying to jerk you offโ. Absolutely hilarious, but luckily the customer, because he spoke so little English, he brushed it off. She was embarrassed the rest of the day, but did laugh it off eventually.
I was working at my first restaurant job and a couple of weeks in. I had a table of three...middle-aged parents and their young daughter. The meal goes on, and at the end I said,
Me: Did you save any room for dessert?
Wife: Oh no, I'm stuffed.
Me: Well I guess I better mount you then!
crickets
Me: You know, like taxidermy?
crickets
Me: Uh, I'll get your check.
They complained to the manager and he came close to firing me, but I convinced him not to after I extensively explained the joke as a reference to taxidermy.
3lmusic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A regular came in and I asked him how his day was going, and he replied "you probably don't wanna hear about it" but he seemed bummed out so I thought maybe he just needed to get something off his chest and probably said something like, "if you wanna talk, I'm hear to listen" Then he told me that he and his wife had a baby the previous evening. I quickly replied "OH! CONGRADULATIONS MAN!"....and his head kinda sunk and there was this really uncomfortable pause and he just said: "It died"
An African dude came through checkout with a Coles trolley (I work at Woolies). Now, I regularly make little jokes if people give me a Coles bag with something along the lines of "Nah sorry mate, can't serve you with that bag!"
So I glance down at his trolley, look him dead in the eye and say "We don't serve your kind here."
I work at this coffee shop and we closed early on Christmas Eve. I was in a big hurry because I had to drive the four hours home right after my shift and we were incredibly behind on closing thanks to my boss saying he didnโt do any of the inventory count or stocking because he โdidnโt want to confuse meโ
Cut to us finally locking the door and getting to work on getting everything clean. All of a sudden a man starts banging on the door. I wave him away and return back to my work. I donโt like opening the door after we close because we have a lot of drunk homeless people around who make really creepy comments about all of the female workers.
anyway, then the phone rings and I answer is to let whoever it is know that weโre closed so they donโt have to waste a car trip or if itโs possibly my boss checking on something. Then I hear banging again and see the man has returned to the door and is pulling on it with one hand while holding the phone in the other. He yells venomously into the phone, โyour door is locked! I canโt get into the store!โ To which my smart mouth instantly replies โyeah thatโs the best way to keep assholes like you outโ
Cue that guy standing there until we were done closing and me having to call the cops and explain to my boss why the police were dispatched.
My wife was serving and approached a table and immediately started coughing profusely. Before saying anything else to them she tries to salvage the situation by saying, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not sick, I just choked on my spit."
I haven't had any moments like this that stick out in my mind. The only one I can think of is one day many many years ago when I was working customer service at Wal-Mart. A man came to the service desk and was claiming that a drill he bought was advertised for $40 on the shelf, but that he just paid $70 for it. So I explained to him that I would need to call the department and have them check for me.
So while they had me on hold the man was talking to me and he told me that "It's not about the money, it's about making things right." To which I replied "No it's not about making it right, because if the prices were reversed and it was advertised for $70 but you only paid $40 then you wouldn't be here." I never got in trouble for it though, but afterwards I thought I definitely would have been talked to at the very least.
Super cute girl who I was helping for a good 20 minutes asks to use our restroom that's employees only. I say sure it's this way. As she goes in and close the door I say "have a good one." I cry at night
I work in a medical office so this was with a patient:
One if the questions we ask when rooming patients is if they have any hobbies, and if so what are they (this is at the request of the doctor i worked for to help document the patients functionality/activity).
Anyway, so I am rooming this guy and ask if he has hobbies. He tells me that he likes to collect baseball cards, basketball cards and football cards. For some reason I reply with โwell, you just like to collect ALL the balls, donโt you?โ
I am not sure if he was weirded out, didnโt notice, or was just being kind, but he didnโt say anything after my comment. I still had to take his vitals and the whole time it took everything I had not to bust up laughing at myself.
Worked at Disney selling merchandise. One day Iโm working at a cart in Asia, tossing a stuffed cat back and forth (you know, so I wouldnโt blow my brains out from boredom). Later, I switched to tossing a different stuffed animal around. A group is walking by, and one of the guys yells, โHey, what happened to the cat from earlier?โ And all sense of being a Disney cast member flees me, I wink, and say, โWelcome to Asia.โ
Thankfully, the group just laughed, and didnโt complain about me to guest relations.
gruffz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm absolutely useless at talking to people and often say dumb stuff or just brain fart because I get anxious. Exchanging pleasantries with a customer I went to say 'lovely, thank you' and of course I looked them dead in the eyes and said 'love you' to which they gave a nervous laugh and hurried off while I pondered throwing myself into the ocean
I usually worked days at a burger restaurant, but one time I was working at night. Some customers leave and I start to say "thanks for coming, have a good day" when I remember it's night. I try to switch but my mouth is already at "day" and I end up wishing them a good diet. At a burger place.
faihker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt exactly understand it wasnโt something I should have said at the time...
I worked reception at a primarily business hotel in the centre of London (UK). A lot of our guests were foreign, and we were greatly encouraged to try saying their name. This man seemed friendlier than most, so I give it a try. He makes a strange, strangled kind of look. He thanks me, goes to walk away, pauses, walks away, laughs. Then comes back to tell me what name I really called him.
Turns out I cheerfully wished him a goodnight by calling him something along the lines of โMr Shitter.โ
I never tried again. One of the most polite, warm guests.
I worked for a major department store when I was 16/17 as a cashier. It was around closing time, and I had a lady with her two young kids try to use a stack of coupons she had clearly stolen off of a register counter where we keep them (about 10-15 coupons) all at once for one purchase. I told her that I could only use one coupon per purchase and she became infuriated and told me she wanted to speak with my manager, even though it said clearly on the coupon the same exact thing I was saying. I radioed for my manager and of course she told her the same thing I told her. She went on a rant about how we didnโt know how to do our jobs, and they let her do it at the other stores, and how sheโs never shopping with us again, and started to walk to the door. Me, being the smart ass teenager I was at the time, told her to have a nice day in maybe a slightly sarcastic tone on her way out. She then proceeded to tell me โyou better shut the hell up little girl before I come back and beat your ass.โ I had security walk me out to my car that night.
Edit:Spelling
I worked at GameStop and a dad comes in asking for a popular Mario game on Nintendo64. I casually say โOh, youโre thinking of Super Mario 69.โ He goes โWoaaah, I want to play that game.โ I turn super red. It just came out so naturally. facepalm
ahhgene ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened two days ago:
Women asked for $40 cash back, but I was out of $20 bills and $10 bills so I gave it to her in $5 bills. She said โitโs better than ones!โ
I said โyeah, I guess that would be a little suspicious.โ
She was in her 70s.
I insinuated that a woman in her 70s would be stripping....
Iโm a pharmacy tech and I remember one day I was on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation they said โgoodbyeโ and for some goddamn reason I replied with โI love youโ. I think they didnโt hear me, or acted like they didnโt hear me, which was totally fine by me.
Worked at a cigar shop that a lot of your run of the mill rich local guys hung out in. Only was there for maybe a few days. The local police chief came in and was introduced to me. I don't really like the police and he was giving me weird looks the second he came in (probably cause I was new and stood out) and he shook my hand.
I turned to my coworker and said "I feel like I have blood on my hands now" and the chief heard me, but I was pretty sure he didn't.
Sure enough he immediately calls the manager from the lounge and then confronted me about it. I didn't really know what to say because I didn't really think about how stupid it was.
Anyway, I got fired the next day deservedly. But whatever, fuck him.
I was taking care of a patient who had cancer and she had lost her hair due to chemo. I was taking routine vitals and I said โIโll just check your vitals real quick and get out of your hairโ she didnโt say anything, but I face palmed myself later.
"Oh, let me readjust that so I don't crush your blue balls."
I was talking about a customer's ornaments on a box. Thankfully she laughed and said thank god she wasn't a man.
Sydro_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a Manager at GameStop for over a year before I got fired for not coming into work because I was too drunk off of Four Loko.
Anyways, Animal Crossing: New Leaf came out that day and I was opening the store. There was a large fucking line outside mixed with kids and adults. My initial though was,โholy shit. Weโre defiantly not going to have enough copies for the weekโ.
Within 3 hours we sold all the fucking games. It was nuts.
So the afternoon arrived and two ladies walked in in their 30โs. They were looking like โWalmartโ. Overweight, butterfly tattoos on their cellulitical deltoids, tank tops that did not cover their stomach, and the idgaf attitude.
They come up to the counter demanding the game. So told them, โsorry we ran out of copies this morning. Maybe another store has it.โ
Thatโs when all hell broke loose.
This moment is tailored to my brain til this very day.
As she stomped her feet with one hand grasping her cracked discontinued iPhone and the other hand pointing at me.
โWhatchaโ mean your outtaโ copies? This game just fucking came out. We went to 3 stores and they said the SAME DAMN THING!โ
I believed her. She smelled like liquid ass with her pores perspiring slowly over the newly cleaned carpet. She must have been looking high and low for this game.
I said, โMaybe if you leave my store right now you can find another copy at a different store.โ
These were not women anymore. No. They were animals. They began destroying the store. Knocking shelves upon shelves of poorly alphabetized games.
โWHERES THE GAME?! YOU GUYS HAVE TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE?!โ is what one woman yelled flailing her arms on the shelves of 3DS games mustering the strength to overcame the weight of her cellulitis.
2 minutes later they stormed out of the store, but not without taking the Animal Crossing promotional poster.
I should have just went into the back room like a good manager and just the dust settle, but no. I had to challenge the Animal Crossing fan base.
That was the moment where i began to look differently about people who like Animal Crossing. Theyโre all wild fucking animals.
gy123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One day while cashiering a customer asked me how I was, and noted I looked bored. I don't know what came over me but I just gave this ugly toothless smile and said, "Oh no, I'm good, I'm just slowly dying inside." They looked pretty uncomfortable.
I didnโt directly say it to them on purpose, but I did speak it directly into a mic that they were ordering from. I was still an associate manager at sonic drive-in. At the time I was the primary opener. Opened with this guy, KC, this was about 0600, so right at fucking open.
These two guys walk up on patio, and push that red button without a second of hesitation. โThank you for choosing my sonic and making it your sonic, my name is Ryan, what could I get started for you today?โ They go on to order the #16, a bacontoaster sandwich, with tots for each, and two drinks. Then move onto the #3, again for both of them, with slushโs on these ones. After that they stopped being so decisive about what they wanted, and instead remained silent without giving any indication of whether or not the order was done. I ask โIs there anything else I can get for you this morning?โ Another second of silence, and then I hear, โand two 5-piece chicken dinners!โ
I hastily reach up to my headset and did what I thought was mute my headset, little did my grumpy, drowsy, dumb self know, I didnโt even hit the damn button!! As soon as I thought I hit it though, I looked over to my left and said to KC, โFucking Christ Dude! These motherfuckers are ordering breakfast, lunch, dinner and god damn dessert!โ
All I can hear immediately afterward was them hysterically laughing, I immediately muted the headset and told KC what just happened, and he just laughed. I gave it a minute, then unmuted the headset and ended the order like I hadnโt just blurted out a surefire way to get my ass fired. I even took their order out to them after we finally got all the shit out and they didnโt even mention it.
I never got a complaint, boss never told me about two guys or anything... so it appears they understood how annoying that shit is.
s-boi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a car wash in high school. I was standing outside with some coworkers when a older woman approached me. She asked "do you smoke" to which I responded "smoke what?"
GWAPPOW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a couple who were roughly the same age as me, (26) and I asked them what they wanted to drink. The guy got a draft beer and the girl said "i'll just take a water, because we're expecting!". Since I'm super immature and forgot people my age start families and have kids I blurted out "OH SHIT!" and they looked at me really awkward. Still left a good tip though.
I wasn't the one who goofed, but the morning of the burial of my friend's dad, we went to a RPG shop where we were regulars and used to hang out.
When the shop owner saw us dressed in suits, which was definitely unusual, he jokingly greeted us by a loud "Why are you dressed like that, going to a funeral or what? ", to which my friend answered in a deadpan manner "yes, my father's.". The look on the owner's face was something to remember
Worked at a local shop. When Iโd finished scanning all the items and gave the total she said โyou forgot my cigarettesโ she hadnโt actually asked for any. My reply was โah Iโm so sorry my telepathy isnโt working todayโ
She left the shop looking like she was trying to work out if she had been insulted or not and I was mortified
rnykal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
if I could share a story for the reverse of the prompt, I walked into a coffee shop and the girl working behind the counter was pretty attractive. I order a latte, she asks if I want anything else on it, I ask what they have, decide on cinnamon.
While she's making it, we're making small talk, I ask how long this place has been around, say it's a nice little place, etc., then, running out of things to say and really reaching, I drop the bombshell: "Do you work here?"
She's like "Did you just me ask if I work here?" with an incredulous, amused face. I'm like "uhโฆ nah, I asked how long you've worked here."
My dad, not me, worked at a hot dog place in high school. Apparently one day this customer, older white woman continually had problems with her hot dog, and brought it back three separate times. By the third time, my dad was pissed and asked her โWeโre the hot dog palace, what the fuck do you want from me, lady?โ Needless to say, he got fired.
nostr8s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in hospitality and during my first year of working in hospo the place I worked hosted a 70th birthday for someone really well known in the community and so there was a lot of people there. A bit of chaos ensued and it was a very long night.
Most people had left but there was about 20 people still drinking and eating from the platters we provided for them. These ladies probably in their late fifties thought it would be a great idea to start chucking food around when they thought we werenโt looking. I told them off once, firmly but politely and they acted like it wasnโt them. I of course had to clean up the food theyโd chucked around and then I got distracted by something else I had to do. About 30 mins later a younger trainee remarks to me that theyโre doing it again and so I reiterate to these ladies that itโs unfair what theyโre doing and if they could please stop. They admit to actually doing it this time and help me clean it up again. By this point Iโm thoroughly annoyed.
Here comes the part where I fuck up. I have a short temper but Iโm usually pretty good at staying calm. But these ladies started throwing round food AGAIN. Something switched in me and I went into a bit of a fit of anger. I stormed over to their table and told them that they are acting like children, this is the third time Iโve had to tell them off and I asked them to โplease act your fucking ageโ. They all looked a little shocked and I stormed off to go calm the fuck down. When I came back to the floor the ladies came up to me and said that what I had said was โthe best telling off theyโve received since their mother passedโ. Probably the weirdest reaction to your waitress swearing at you but to be honest if they complained I have a strong feeling my boss would have fired me. He never found out.
TLDR - swore at a group of customers who were throwing food around and told them they were acting like children. Instead of complaining they thanked me for telling them off. Swiftly avoided being fired.
I was a barista. I had just taken an order from a woman named Gina. I took her cup, put it at the bar for my friend Josh to make. I thought Gina couldn't hear me and I said to Josh "Gina isn't bad, you should ask her out". Gina heard me.
I used to work at one of the holiest fast food restaurants. Anyway I was having a less then stellar day. I was on my least favorite position (window) and had been there for about 8 hours. Its a saturday, during lunch, and were already behind. This lady pulls up and is rifling through her purse to pay (she's had about 5 minutes to find her money from ordering to getting to the window). Finally she looks at me all gloomy eyed and tells me she doesn't have any money. I give my fake cheerful smile and tell her no worry ill pay for it. I would do this guite often especially in these situations because honestly it's just faster. But i turn to my co worker and bad mouth her, i know the customer couldnt hear me and I was frustrated so I vented.
Fast forward 2 weeks later and my boss tells me someone mailed me something to the store. That lady sent me a thank you card and repayed me for her meal. I felt so ashamed of the way I acted towards her while feeling something else completely. I think about that a lot and something that should have have brought it me peace brings me discomfort.
I once was exhausted in the drive thru at work and was trying to read the order back to her and casually let out a "alright here's your fuckin uhhh oh crap sorry I didn't mean to say that" thank GOD she was one of the cool customers who understood.
Other than that I pretty much haven't regretted anything I've said.
I meant it all.
Worked at a large bookstore. Every March there's a huge sale, and the books we can't sell steadily drop in price the longer we have them.
This older gentleman comes up to the counter with one of the books on sale, it says (approx) 2$ on the cover. I scan it, and it registers as 1$ in the system, and I happily say to him that he's lucky, since it's even cheaper! He looks at me in a weird way, pays, and leaves the store in a hurry. My colleague comes over to me laughing, and tell me to inspect the book I just sold... It's a biography about the guy I just sold it to... I felt so bad the rest of the day.
Posting this a bit late, so doubt anyone will read it. I worked at a coffee shop for a while, and one day an older white guy came in and asked for a large drip coffee.
I replied 'room for cream?'
He said, 'no thanks, I like it black'
I replied 'tall black and hot, same way I like my women'
I immediately wondered what happened to my thought-to-mouth filter.
I grinned.
He didn't.
Didn't get fired though, so all is well.
I was a DevOps guy (so a guy that does computer magic bullshit) for a company that processed a lot of payments. We had some trouble getting a new type of online money transfer going with Western Union, who are a major client, on the order of several million a year revenue just from them, which was quite substantial for us. At this point, it got escalated to one of their VPs (basically the guy in charge of either their development, or IT infrastructure) so he could put some pressure on us to fix our shit.
Our developers narrow it down to a certificate trust issue on our side (basically, it's like whitelisting someone's phone number in your call blocker so they can get through.. imperfect analogy but close enough), and I'm the guy responsible for managing this part.
Cue about 40 minutes of troubleshooting with me and one of their engineers, with about 10 people in total on the call. Myself, two of their tech guys, a couple of our developers, a few project managers on both sides, and the VP in question.
At some point I get a Eureka moment and I figure out where the issue is, so I tell everyone to hold on while I try something. A few people go "OK dude cool, we'll wait" and everybody goes silent. I hover and click the mute button in Go2Meeting and start trying stuff. 5 minutes later I get somewhat frustrated, as it's still not behaving as I expect it to, so I start complaining out loud, to the point where it sounds like this:
"Why won't you work you fucking bullshit piece of stupid Java shit everyone fucking hates, which fucking cunt designed it this way..."
This goes on for a good two minutes until finally, with a "Holy fuck, I can't believe this shit fucking did it... Dumbest fucking thing ever" I get it working.
So... I'm finally elated and as I go to unmute myself.... To my absolute horror, I realize that I never actually clicked the mute button. Which I immediately make known in the most vocal way possible..
"Oh shitfuck. I think I forgot to mute myself."
...I think this is the only time in my life I legitimately felt I would die from embarassment, to the laughter of basically everyone on both sides.
I was putting this guy through my till. He paid with his debit card. When I grabbed the receipt I gave myself a papercut and bled on the guys debit receipt. To this day I have no idea why I didn't throw it away and print another one. I just handed it to him and said "don't worry I don't have aids."
I used to work at a printery. I was explaining to a customer the different styles of binding our printery offered. I was trying to say "PLASTIC FRONT, CARD BACK" but it had been a long day and I got all tongue tied.....I ended up telling a customer that our binding has a "PLASTIC CUNT, FRARD BACK" I was dying inside as the customer was hysterically laughing.
Not mine, sadly. My stepsister was a nervous flier as a kid, so decided she was going to ask a flight attendant a few questions to put herself at ease.
6-year-old her toddles over to the attendant, puts on her best talking-to-grown-ups face, and says "Excuse me. How often do your planes crash, please?"
Flight attendant: "Just once, usually"
They looked horrified, my stepsister started crying, and my mother's still laughing nearly 20 years later.
Working in the electrical department of a hardware store a customer was looking for a shallow electrical box as there was limited space, as I later found out. I ask - "Can I help you find something?" And he says "I only have 3 inches..." I interrupt him "Most guys don't brag about that." Fortunately he started laughing. Turned out to be a great guy.
Registered just to post this horrific story... you know that tshirt with the Notorious B.I.G. wearing a crown on it? Well, one night I was working my second job at Ulta. I was exhausted after working my main job all day long. A girl came up to the register wearing that shirt, and in my exhaustion, I looked at her shirt and said, "Oh, are you going to see him when he comes to town next week? I am and I can't wait!" She gave me this look, shook her head, took her stuff and walked off. Well, in my exhaustion I had mistook poor Biggie for Jay Z. I'm pretty sure she thought I was just another white girl who thought all black people look alike, but I truly just made a mistake. I KNEW it was Biggie, I had seen the shirt before, but I just completely had a moment of idiocy. It was horrible.
Iโm a 999 ambulance call handler in the UK and I had a caller ring about a lady who had fallen over. He said โ I have to tell you, she has weedโ And I said โ marijuana!?โ โ No , the other kind, she is 83!โ โOh, sheโs urinated...โ
oniiesu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my first jobs was at Firehouse Subs. This day I was working on the line/steamer section and there's this guy who's been standing in front of the counter for a while. I mean I've made at least 3 orders and he's still there, looking confused. So I made the mistake of talking to him.
"Hello! Can I help you?"
Little did I know that I just activated an impotent rage bomb. The guy starts screaming at me. I forget exactly what he said because it happened 15+ years ago, but I do remember him ranting that I need to mind my own business and him constantly repeating "I can fucking read!".
He lays into me for what I believe was about 2 full minutes before demanding to speak to my manager. By this time my manager has already come out and was standing next to me. They go off and my manager calms him down while I go back to work. Guy orders a sandwich and my manager makes it for him.
After the guy leaves my manager calls me into the cash office and I think "Fuck, that guy convinced him to write me up." We sit down and my manager asks me where I parked. "Oh shit," I think, "I'm getting fired!"
I stammer out that I parked in the corner of the parking lot, across from the store. My manager lets out a relieved sigh.
"Good, I was going to offer to walk you out to your car at the end of your shift, but I can see that from the inside of the store. That guy was after free food and you did nothing wrong. I didn't give it to him and I think he blames you for his plan failing because the entire time he was eating he never took his eyes off of you and it was like he was trying to develop psychic powers to crush your head."
I had not noticed this at all and I was confused. I thanked my manager for looking out for me and I went back to work. By the time my shift was over, I had forgotten all about it again. When I walked to my car, I looked back and my manager was watching from the front window. Great guy.
I left several months later and he got fired for bringing in chicks after closing and banging them in the cash room. Still a great guy.
I was working at a jewelry store when a lady came in to have her rings sized. She couldn't decide whether she should have it done or wait until she lost the weight from her pregnancy. She called it baby weight. I love babies so I starting asking about her baby. She said, "Oh, he's six years old now." I said, "Honey, that's not baby weight anymore. That's your weight." She left immediately.
I was a 911 dispatcher for a rural fire department. A lady called that a dog was stuck under her house/trailer. I told her to call animal control. She said, โno, this is what the fire department is for!โ
I then asked her, โMaโam, is the dog on fire?โ
I was bartending and a young couple ordered from me. She says, "we have a tab open. Last name Hughes, like Howard Hughes." I say "Oh the crazy guy with the long nails who pees in jars!" She walks away, guy says "that's his granddaughter."
So I manage a boutique lingerie store that also sells sex toys, lubes, game etc. I was showing a customer a lubricant we sell, and got her to feel the consistency, then offered her a wet wipe to clean off her hands. Roughly 5 min later, I'm showing her one of the vibrators we sell, and I got her to feel the strength of vibrations of one of them with her hand, and she let out what was almost a moan. I joked with her like "haha, do you need a moment alone?" and then without thinking followed it up with "...Do you need another wet wipe?"
Thank god she took it well and we both absolutely lost it laughing but it's probably the filthiest thing I've said to a customer.
Worked at a bank in high school as a teller. We had some big accounts that were with construction companies, so the workers would come in to cash their paychecks. The construction workers had a bit of a reputation for flirting with the female tellers, and this one in particular had taken a liking to me. He seemed about 30, and one Saturday he came in to cash his check. On Saturdays we only had two tellers up front since they were typically slower days. As I was handing him his cash, he said he wanted to ask for "one more thing" which happened to be my phone number. I believe I was about 16 at the time, so I did a nervous giggle and my naive self just bluntly said "Oh, thank you, but I'm too young for you!" Immediate regret. He just kinda laughed and walked out, but he didn't talk to me much more after that. The other teller exploded with laughter once he left and never let me live it down.
Asylem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer and his son were at the counter renting movies. His son was maybe 2 years old and had on his Sunday best, and me, being 16 years old and full of hormones, HAD to walk over and say hi to the little guy.
His Dad laughed and said, "Oh he's cute now, but he can be a little monster, I could honestly use a break. Maybe I'll just leave him here with you guys". (jokingly of course).
Then, for reasons beyond me, I said, "Nah, let's have [co-worker] watch him while we both sneak out of here"!
I seriously have no idea why I said that. I meant more like, "I'm could use a break too! But not with you!". The Dad laughed nervously and quickly left. It's been over 10 years and I'm still cringing about it.
Couple walks into the restaurant with their toddler. I ask them what they would like to drink. Instead of effortlessly executing the question โwhat can I get for this little cutie?โ I say โwhat drink can I get for.. this?โ
Worked for a major telecommunications company in the US. Less than a month on the floor by myself a customer comes in throwing a fit about something. Starts asking for a manager and the only one in the store at that time was my store manager.
He asks me to get her probably four times, each time I go ask her to come talk to him and she keeps making up excuses or telling me to tell him the same thing I have been. Obviously dude just wants to hear it from a manager because I could never know the same information as her and if she would just tell him herself he'd probably shut up and leave.
The fourth time I come back and we're waiting he asks "Is your manager just too good to come talk to me or something?" I looked him dead in the eye and said "I guess she is man." I was fed up at that point with both of them and just didn't care at that point.
He started screaming at me along with all of my co workers before we finally just told him to get out and never come back.
Probably shouldn't have told him that, but it was how I honestly felt, so you can't fault me for lying to the customer.
There was this dude about my age (mid 20s) that came in that looked just like customgrow420. He seemed like a really chill dude, he looked kinda high too, seemed cool enough. He came up to my register to order and I said to him "hey man you ever seen customgrow420? You kinda look like him" and he just gave me this incredibly befuddled gaze. After a brief moment of silence I said "what up YouTube YouTube YOUTUUUUBBEE!" with a smile! He then says to me, "wow, that's actually pretty offensive."
So I told him his total and he reluctantly gave me his money and that was it. I then realized I probably should've apologized him.
This was to a manager...This woman had a very unfortunate body type. Like an egg on stilts. She comes in to work one night bitching and moaning (as usual) about how she thinks she's pregnant and doesn't want to get fat again. Without skipping a beat I replied, "Again?"
I was working a register at a convinence store and this guy come walking up with his friend with a case of beer. One of them had a broken arm in a cast and i was making conversation and asked how he did it.he said "oh something stupid but this beer will help."I ended up saying "oh trying to break the other arm to." They both toon it really well but i felt bad enough to apologize for letting it slip out.
docta23 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:01:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked at a movie theater, a couple of girls came up and got pretzels. We always ask if they want salt and cheese, but in my head I was thinking itโd be funny to ask if she wanted semen on her pretzel. Apparently I actually said that out loud because my co worker came up to me and said โdid you just ask her if she want semen on her pretzel?โ The funnier thing is we would heat up the pretzels in the back for about a minute, so after asking her that I said โokay Iโll be back in a minute with that.โ
I work in auto insurance claims. I recently had a customer who was rear-ended by a tractor-trailer. Her car was demolished, but she walked away with only some soreness the next day. In an attempt to be sympathetic, I told her I had been in a couple of accidents myself, and โthe day after, you feel like you got hit by a truck.โ Open mouth, insert foot. Fortunately, she had a sense of humor.
I work as a manager at a family pizza store. A lot of the time I'm the only employee there, as it's the slow season between Skii Season and Summer.
An older gent came in and asked for a slice, and wanted a bunch of toppings added. Normally it would be a dollar more for the toppings, but this guy just wanted about half an onion sprinkled on one slice of cheese pizza, so I charged him 2.50 more. He went ballistic, asked to see the manager, yada yada.
I said, "sure, one second". Ducked down behind the counter, and rose back up. "What can I do for you?", and he straight up walked out of the shop.
I used to work for one of those wine making stores. The kind where you put the ingredients into a carboy, we stored and took care of it, and then you can in and bottled it.
I got to know some of the customers quite well, as many were social, retired, and made a lot of wine for parties. One woman called to place another order, and I blurted out "Wow you sure do buy a lot of wine!"
I used to work at the dearly departed CompUSA. I was once selling a father there with his daughter a flash drive, he asked me if this brand was good and I said, "Yeah, Sand Dicks are a good brand."
I was honest at the restaurant. I almost was fired.
Restaurants have their 'new guy' on the cook line Sunday nights. Food is not going to taste as good or the 'same' on Sundays. Plus, all the food is either out of stock (86) or is near the end of it's lifecycle.
Being completely honest (and I should have lied) she called and complained and my boss who got fired, wrote me up for telling the truth and that I should not ever have that discussion with anyone.
Granted, I was knew to the biz back then, and have never said anything related since.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an unnamed leisure centre in the UK/Ireland. We deal with quite a lot of Roma children - no racism intended at all but they can be very difficult to deal with. They always snuck in jumping gates etc to play football on our 3G pitch, etc etc.
For a few weeks, we had the same group again and again sneaking in. They pretended not to speak English when you told them off, before screaming โfuck youโ etc etc when security were escorting them away.
One day, I was on an early shift. I came off my early shift and stuck around to meet a friend. During this time, I changed out of my uniform, however stayed in the staff area talking shit with mates. We suddenly get the call over the radio โis anybody free to deal with the kids, theyโre out playing football in the staff car park and theyโve hit a few of our cars alreadyโ.
At this stage, numerous factors came into play;
my cars my pride and joy and Iโve spent a lottt of money on it
I had dealt with these kids too many times recently, and mainly
my early shift had left my with an oncoming migraine which eventually left me bedbound for the following day.
This all resulted in me sprinting to the staff car park after getting the call, with a fellow member of staff close behind. Upon seeing the kids, I should โBOYS!โ They look up.
โIs that a football pitch youโre all on? No? Then fuck off and go home, I donโt want to see yous back here againโ
Turned around to see my coworker staring at me open-mouthed. I shrugged. To this day nothing came of it and it was still the best feeling of my life. I donโt regret it one bit the more I think about it. Still probably shouldnโt have said it but fuck it.
I was manning a tech support line. A customer called up and started complaining about the wait, and how it's an elementary business practice to staff to the number of expected calls and we were losing business through customer dissatisfaction and blah blah blah... I couldn't get him to focus on the problem he was calling about long enough to describe it to me. And it had already been a long, shitty day.
Eventually I snapped and said "Okay, the next time the CEO drops by the call centre to ask me how to run his company, I'll tell him that."
The customer got very quiet and let me fix his problem.
Not a store, but I worked at my local camp for a few years.
My boss had the bright idea to let awkward 16 year old me work at the desk for the entire summer. One day, this kid went on a biting rampage. Chairs, kids, teachers, walls, everything. Parents had to be called and it was an ordeal.
This lady came an hour later to pick up this misbehaving human. I never met her before so she had to sign some forms. She was impatient, unkind, and kept insisting that this kid was an angel. She handed me back the forms where upon I saw that she never specified her relationship to the child.
I grabbed a pen and asked, "Are you the mother or the grandmother?"
The girl who was at the desk job with me almost spit out her coffee in laughter. The lady gave me the nastiest look that lasted for an eternity. Finally, she said, "I'm the mother."
This was the third week out of eight for camp. I had to see her face on and off for five more weeks. I died of embarrassment every time.
Late to the party but when I worked at a bar, a guy ordered some shots from one of the bar girls, he was a bit pissed so when he handed over the money he knocked the shots over. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, he said "pour me 4 more". No "please", no "sorry for the mess" etc. She said "Oh I can't do tha...." and he said "pour me 4 fucking more shots!".
I was listening in and said to her "you can go and serve someone else now, I'll sort this out" and I just snapped and leant over the bar and said "who the fuck do you think you are you rude cunt? You can't speak to people like that when you're the one who knocked the fucking drinks over, no get the fuck out, and if you've got a problem I'll happily join you out there".
Never before or since spoken to anyone like that.
Aaaaaanyway, turns out he was in a group that had a bar tab of about $3k that day..... Owner found out. Owner was a lunatic at the best of times.
He waits a few days to speak to me and finally one afternoon I'm cleaning glasses and he says "ChuckDawobly, come outside with me". I was thinking "great, at best I'm fired, at worst he fights me".
We get outside and he puts his arms around my shoulders, I semi-brace for the punch to follow, and he said "now, ChuckDawobly, I know none of these other pussies keep control of anyone in here, but you can't go calling everyone a cunt, no matter how much of a cunt they are. But I appreciate that you're the closest thing to security we have here. Just keep in mind, this isn't the rugby pitch."
So I guess you could say I regretted it for about 3 days.
I work at a movie theater as a server, we typically can handle serving 35 guests with the help of food runners and this one night I got sold to 45ish I think. I had hardly any help running my food and drinks so I was freaking out a little. This woman comes out of the theater maybe 10 minutes after the movie has started and starts screaming at me that she hasnโt been greeted, I apologize and explain that Iโm by myself which is why I accidentally missed her. She does not care, she starts going off about how she works and hooters, she knows what itโs like to be a server and being over sold was no excuse. This rant keeps going and she must have said hooters another 10 times, then finally I cut her off and say โI donโt care! I do not care if you work at hooters!! This is not hooters!โ Then some how this got translated to โI donโt care about my jobโ so she asks to speak to my manager. My manager proceeded to take care of her throughout the movie, and she continued to be awful even though she was getting a free tab. Bleh.
I work as a server/bartender at a casual pub. One day i was serving a very nice elderly couple who were asking how big our cinnamon rolls are. without realizing it, I put my hands down near my genital region and expanded my hands, and then began to say "its about... That big. Well... Maybe a little bigger". Then continued to wided my hands near my crotch. The gentlemen had a good laugh but his wife looked a little mortified with my description. I saved it by saying ".. the cinnamon roll, that is"
Which in all honesty wasn't the best save.....
I have two incidents in mind, neither of which I said myself, but nevertheless, hilarious..
First incident:
When I was managing a cell phone retail stores a few years ago, a lady came in to cancel her late husband's cell phone contract. We require a certificate of death as proof in order to cancel out the remaining subsidy. One of my sales guys, who isn't always the sharpest tool in the shed, looks at the certificate with the date of decease and says to a lady, "damn he had a long life". BOOM, everyone in the store goes silent. To this day, I'm still facepalming.
Second incident:
While working at a car rental company years and years ago at a busy int'l airport, we would only guarantee a vehicle size/class for 2 hours past the reservation time. One time my coworker beside me was assisting a shorter than average person/semi-midge. Well, turns out she booked a specific vehicle class we didn't have, and my coworker says, "it looks like you've got the short end of the stick, we only have minivans left". I burst out laughing while trying to walk away..
SIM0NEY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at Rent-A-Center.
"We take the money you pay us for that PlayStation and use it to buy four more PlayStations."
Only regretted that till I went into "fuck this place" mode, then I let the truth bombs fly.
While working box office on a busy Saturday night in a cinema, I has a customer and his girlfriend come to buy tickets. He was a police officer and therefore entitled to one free ticket (cheaper than what I got as an employee) for a regular session. He demanded a free ticket for his girlfriend too, which I couldn't do. I took his badge to write down his number for our records, then he tells me he needs two tickets to a gold class screening that's starting in 10 minutes.
Gold Class is more expensive, better seats and food/drinks sent to your seat during the movie, and is not something he nor employees get for free. On top of this, the session was sold out since it was starting soon and most tickets are pre-booked online. He seriously demanded I kick two people out who had already paid so they could see the movie. I was gobsmacked and explained that I would not be doing anything of the sort.
He looked at me, full of rage, and said "why don't you just go fuck yourself?!". I, blinded by shock and anger, retorted as he turned around to leave "why don't you just go fuck YOURself?!". I didn't just say it though, I yelled it. The whole auditorium heard. Silence fell. He turned back around and looked about ready to jump over the counter. I met his gaze and left the box office area. About half an hour later he came back and I was terrified he was going to complain or arrest me or something but he apologised. I realised it was probably because I had his badge number and could have easily made a complaint about him too.
I worked at a Tim Hortons;
Customer approaches: Hey! How are you doing?
Me: Hey, I'm good! How are you doing?
C: Good! thanks, How are you... (stops)
We both laugh, one of the best interactions I'd had at that place
This woman called my pet store, angered by the female manager she had just spoken to about returning a chinchilla. She says, "I want to speak to a manager! NOT THE BITCH!!!"
I instantly cracked up laughing. Said female manager was a bitch and everyone hated her. I connected her with the general manager, a decent guy. He calmed her down and told her to come in later to do the return. That lady was super nice to me every time she came in after that. Bitch manager soon got demoted for some other bitchery she did, transferred stores then was fired.
jenitlz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once accidentally said โI love youโ when hanging up the phone
Trying to make small talk carrying out groceries a little after Christmas
Me: so how have your holidays been so far?
Older guy: not so great, actually.
Me: aw what's wrong? Didn't get what you wanted from santa?
Older guy: we buried my wife yesterday.
I somehow got all of his bags into the car without ever looking away from the ground after that, lol.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working at a deli I was finishing up a customerโs sandwich and asked if they would like โlettuce, tomatoes, and all that jizz?โ Which I meant โall that Jazz.โ
I couldnโt fucking believe it. I held it together though and I donโt think she realized. Once she left my co-workers lost it and laughed their asses off.
I was working in a contact center and was training someone. She had a headset and mine was attached to hers so because of this I kept my mic on mute to prevent people from hearing an echo. While trying to assist someone with their online banking I unintentionally turned off the mute thinking I turned it on and said something along the lines of โmost people are fucking idiots who canโt follow simple instructions.โ
Surprisingly the member calmly said she was able to sign to her account, thanked the new girl for her time and hung up.
Never heard a single word about it. It still gives me the cringes when I think about it.
Also we found out the mistake because on the next phone call when someone asked why there was an echo almost immediately.
To the guy picking up photos (we developed and printed film) as the idiot looks through them to make sure they were printed correctly: "God, I'd love to break that bitch open like a shotgun (while making pelvic thrusting motions)"! (the photo had a picture of a woman who was the local TV stations main news anchor)
Guy to idiot: "That's my wife!".
Me: pushes idiot away and proceeded to apologise for the idiots behavior profusely. He had been a fairly regular customer, never saw him again and I don't blame him.
Iโm a barista and when I was collecting the money from the tip jar at the end of my shift, the customer at the register says โlooks like a successful day!โ And I replied...โyeah, gotta collect my stripper money ya know?โ
She looked very concerned and at that point I wanted to slide under the counter...
Not me, but my favorite coworker ever. I worked at a Younkers department store as a cashier with this older woman, Sally, who was the fanciest/ sassiest thing you've ever seen. Her hair was always salon set, high heels, matching animal print outfits head to toe, covered in jewelry, and to top it all was a southern accent.
We had a guy come in who was a total asshole. We didn't have what he wanted, so he was acting really condescending. You know, because that's what changes the inventory!
Sally just grabbed his arm and sushed him mid sentence, and said in her southern accent "Sir! I'm a cashier. I'm not fuckin retarded!" And then walked away. He stood with his mouth open for a minute and then left the store without another word.
Last time I talked to Sally, she must have been going on 80, still looked the same, and was on the back of her 30 something dates motorcycle.
That has got to be one of the most bizarre attempts to condone hate speech I've ever heard. First of all the r-word is one of if not the most commonly used hate term used today, I wish people would stop using it. Secondly how on earth do you think something being antiquated in any way makes it acceptable.
Well you're enabling your "favorite coworker ever" who is using able-supremacist speech.
Retarded was officially replaced by the APA with Intelectual Disability in 2010 with Rosa's Law, although it was being phased out well before then. I call it an antiquated term because it is. I hope you stand on your soapbox with equal conviction when people use imbecile, idiot, moron, lamebrained, mentally defective, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, simple, slow, etc, and are just as righteous when somebody utters "opps, must be dyslexic!" after mincing words.
Also, arguing with an old woman over her choice in adjectives when telling off some asshole guy is not a hill I'm willing to die on.
As a medical term it's antiquated, as an ableist insult it's not and that is how it was used in this situation. It's not about a soapbox, it's about better treatment for the disabled. It's not easy to stand up for the disabled who are so marginalized, approving and defending of the abuse of them is significant step worse than not defending them though.
Guy in a wheelchair without legs. In my brightest moment I said: we'll walk to the register and will complete your order.
He replies: Walk!? That has been a while.
I was ashamed but he just laughed.
I now just say: Let's go to the register.
Man is looking at electric shavers, he said: are these all the shavers you have?
Me: yes it is, but sir, how many do you need? One is enough I guess...
He wasn't amused and asked me if I thought I was funny... Stormed off and never saw him again.
When out of frustration I replied, โyou didnt say that.โ It was true, but this is Chick-fil-A.... where the customer couldnโt possibly be wrong.... โmy pleasureโ....
Was serving a table of 6 people, three couples, and began taking their order.
One guy interrupts me while I'm looking at his wife and proceeds to tell me what he wants,
So I interrupt him with a jokingly "EHEM. Ladies first sir"
-"I am a woman" he/she says
Upon taking a closer look, yep! Definitely a woman.
Not sure if this counts or not, but i was calling people who owed my company money. After leaving a message on a home phone i opened up the next lot of calls and realised how much work i had to do and said " Pay for Fking bills people, my god
I then turned to make my next call before realizing i hadn't hung up from my last call. Their answering service had heard me swear at all our customers.
I had a customer come in and buy as many pairs of oak 2B drumsticks as we had in stock. It was something like 6 or 7 pairs. For those of you who donโt play drums, those are some of the beefiest drumsticks you can get (at the time, anyway). Kid was probably 15 or 16, and played in a hardcore band with his buddies.
Anyway, a week goes by and this kid comes back with his mom. Sheโs irate. The sticks he got werenโt cheap and they were now sawdust. She slammed the bag down on the counter and demanded warranty replacements. Drumsticks donโt have warranties. Theyโre chunks of wood that you bang against metal plates and metal rims. Drumstick companies that make hard-to-break sticks tend to go under because they rely on you continuing to buy their sticks.
She objects for a bit, but eventually she realizes that Iโm not going to budge on the warranty policy. Next, she asks what he could be doing to prevent this from happening. I told her that breaking a half dozen pairs of the biggest pair of the strongest wood available in drumsticks in less than a week is not the result of normal use.
When I said that going through sticks as that rate could only be the result of improper setup and bad stick technique, she LOST IT. Apparently her son could do no wrong, and how dare a more experienced drummer suggest that beating the shit out of your drums like a gorilla will wear down on your gear faster than normal?! She demanded to speak with a manager, who is also a drummer, who said the exact same thing.
She stormed out, and the kid who bought the sticks in the first place asked me some more questions, which led to him buying a lot less drumsticks in the future, and he went on to become a very skilled drummer.
JPino97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was this One time when I worked at Outback and I was handing a To Go order to an impatient older lady that had been bitching the entire time I had been helping her. I was having a bad night, so when she told me, โThis Place is such a disappointment, I donโt even know why I come here,โ I was so livid that I responded with
โI Donโt know why you come here either mam. Thereโs a McDonaldโs across the street, they donโt expect tips so they wonโt be disappointed when you come through. Iโm just trying to get through this shit show and youโre not making it easier.โ
She drove off and called to bitch about twenty minutes later, to which I had a long talk and was then written up at the end of my shift. Lol
I work in a mid-end men's clothing store, and one day I had a preacher come in, use my services for nearly and hour, then demand a discount for the church. I told him, we unfortunately don't do that. He said he wouldn't purchase anything without a pretty heavy discount. (The sale was about 500 dollars total, nothing special. Average sale is around a thousand) He demanded to know why I personally wouldn't give him the discount. I responded "Belief in magic wouldn't get me a discount anywhere"
One time I was did a favor for an older co-worker (like late 40s early 50s, not that old). She was very grateful and said "I'll dance at your wedding". I, in my infinite wisdom replied with "if you're around that long", meaning that it would take forever for me to find someone to marry. I immediately realized once I said it that it could be taken that I thought that she was going to die soon. I nervously tried to explain what I meant and backtrack, but she saw what I meant and we both had a good laugh
So I used to manage a waterpark. In this park we have two different types of tubes. Clear tubes are for the lazy rivers so lifeguards can see under them. Then we have green tubes for the slides so lifeguards can see them more easily coming down tubeslides. Whenever tubes are in the wrong spot, a lifeguard is instructed to tell the guest that they must exit the tube and give it to the guard. One day I got stormed by a middle aged black woman who was clearly visibly shook. She was screaming that I needed to get my "little racist shit lifeguard fired before running off before I could ask clarifying questions. I go to pull him off the water and have a conversation about what transpired. The second he sees me he starts crying and explained that he accidentally used the wording "hey no colored ones in the river. I have to unfortunately take your innertube."
HODORx3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a grocery store when a customer asks where the toothpaste is. I say isle 3. They asked where is isle 3? I answered, "between isles 2 and 4."
While working at a call center for a military facing bank, I had a client would not accept my answer, no matter how I phrased it. After going through this for a bit, he asked the same question again, which I ignored and said "is there anything else I can assist you with?" he started going off yelling and screaming. He started asking for a manager. I replied with "Yeah, I am gonna put you on a brief hold so my supervisor can give you the exact same information I just provided you."
I immediately regretted saying that, put them on hold and got my supervisor. My supervisor knew that I was the best on my team, and was twice the asshole I was. Luckily he understood, and repeated the same info about 3 times to him before he got fed up and said "have a nice day sir", and hung up.
Yeah, a bank focused on serving military members, veterans, and their families. I'm not technically allowed to tell the name of the bank, as I worked for a third party company contracted by the bank, and had to sign an NDA stating I wouldn't tell anyone the bank we are contracted through. If you took 3 guesses, you would probably guess right on the first or second guess.
I'm not going to guess USAA because of your NDA obviously...
It was just a weird way to phrase it. I'd understand "a bank for military members" etc. but facing makes it sound like the HSBC bank in Hong Kong and how the edges are pointed towards government buildings
It's okay! It just kinda implies that you direct your services towards the military but don't necessarily deal with them, where in reality i imagine your only customers are vets/enlisted
We had a special called The Big Flavor Dipper and all of the crew hated making it and called it the Big Fucker Dipper. Guess what almost slipped out when talking to a customer!
Delivery driver for Dominos here. The stores have signs with the hours of operation posted right next to the entrance, listing each days hours from Monday to Sunday. Right underneath Sunday's hours is a long that says "carryout lobby closes at 10pm" *this may vary in your area. One night a guy comes walking up to the door about 11pm and ttys to get in. Magnetic lock says no, so he shoots me a look of annoyance before pulling out his phone and calling. I do the standard greeting, he says he wants to order his pizza for carryout, and I inform him that carryout us closed. He points to the sign while saying "it says you're open until 12" and without missing a beat, I say "and if you kept reading, you'd have seen the part that says carryout closes at 10". Beaten, he retreats to his truck and places a delivery order. Guess who his driver is
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was working at a clothing store and this blind woman walked in who needed some shopping assistance. I go help her to find what she needs. She needs a shirt but we have different models. She picks a model based on my descriptions and then I ask her, because we have it in so many colors, which color is her favorite..
I then remember she is blind and quickly change subjects after she answers my question with complete silence. (This was in a small town and people knew this woman and also that she was blind from birth. So she has never seen colors)
That was probably my most awkward customer experience.
Not me, but my wife. She's a teacher. At parent/teacher interviews she said "hi" to the man and woman approaching, "and you must be Mary's grandfather". "No I'm the father was the reply".
I was an middle school baseball umpire, and an idiot coach called me a "dirty little smart-ass", and I said "well I'd rather be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass". He had been acting horribly the whole game, and while I got a talking too because the commissioner was mad, my supervisor thought it was pretty funny.
Back when I was hosting, this guy walked in with a party of 10 at around 7 on a Saturday night. I told him itโd be about an hour long wait. He set a timer on his phone in front of me and came back up to the host stand many times to show me โhow many minutes I had left to find him a tableโ. Around the 6th or 7th time this happened, I was so done and said โif you would like to walk around the restaurant and find an empty table that accommodates your party size you are more than welcome to do soโ....
Honestly I felt bad about it but this guy was fucking rude and Iโll take some shit from customers cause I know that to a certain extent you have to, but this felt different. He was stunned but he needed to be put in his place
Working valet at a casino and an old guy drives up. Ask him how his day is going and whatnot. All of a sudden, an ambulance pulls up (standard procedure when a guest has an accident), and the old guy jokingly says "that's not for me is it?" and without missing a beat, I say "not yet". I would like to say he laughed about it, but he just looked at me with a deadpan stare and walked away. Safe to say I didn't get tipped.
elbucho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I called one of my customers a cunt once. To be fair to me, though:
He was a cunt
I thought I was muted
I very poorly tried to cover it up by coughing, then saying: "Cunt...cough...continue scrolling and you should see the 'OK' button at the bottom..."
Aedium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college I waited tables at a high end restaurant. We had a streak & frites item where the steak was sous vide to rare (really on the more done side of rare) before being finished by searing on a broiler to the customers liking.
One day I delivered food to a table that wasn't mine because one of our servers called in sick and no one could cover the first turn. The lady who's steak I delivered grabbed the bottom of my vest as I walked away after making sure everything was to their satisfaction and yelled 'son this steak is absolutely raw'.
Without thinking I just kind of absentmindedly snapped back 'mam that's impossible we sous vide to rare so at the very least your steak is rare not raw'. Cue 5 minutes of me explaining what sous vide is and the eventual 'I don't believe you get your boss'.
It was my second to last day at Walmart, waiting for the next person to come and take over the electronics department for me and my coworker was sitting there off the clock waiting for me and he told me I had a customer. Now my vest was half off my hat was barely on my head and I looked tired I walked up to this old guy and said โwhatโs up slice what do you need help with todayโ. This old man looked at me like I insulted his family and honor or some shit and tried to make me apologize to him for it. I finally got him to tell me what he needed got it unlocked and radioed for someone to bring it up front and just walked away from him.
I usually can read my guests well enough to know if they can take a joke or some dead pan humor.
Things people don't like (those people are boring and need to live a little):
-No.
-My favorite is beer and decision making
-We have a menu for a reason, I suggest reading it
-Your (whatever the fuck) allergy is not real. Tell me what you want.
I have had someone complain that their enchiladas were too hot.
It was while I was working at the movie theater. (I still work there now) A black family asked me where a certain auditorium was. And I said "its back where you came from."
I knew I fucked up. But luckily, the black family didn't seem to notice. And only my co-workers did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not as bad, but I was working in Sporting Goods at Wal-Mart, and a lady asked "Where are the jock straps?" I replied that they were right next to the footballs, basketballs, etc. by stating "They're right where the balls are."
I once told a man who had both parents in the hospital "I'd better plug this in [vital signs cart] because everything dies here." He cracked up. My coworker overheard and cracked up too. Funny now but at the time I was mortified!
The manager at dollar general decided to refuse my milk order, after I unloaded the whole thing in the rain, because she was upset that I was 20 minutes later than usual due to the rain. I was so mad, when I was leaving I told her โshe was a stupid, power tripping , ignorant cunt who has make herself feel powerful by doing stupid shit like thisโ.
I once approached a lady who had her back to me. She was looking at stock and said "Do you need a hand with anything" , the lady turned around and I immediately noticed she only had one hand and I nearly died! She saw my face and laughed and said "Yes I do actually can u give me one". I apologised profusely and she was so lovely about it but I obviously felt terrible. I have never said that phrase ever again.
Late to the party, anyways: Mr Buchwald calls asks something about a shipment. โalright mr buchenwald i look it upโ - silence. I had to chuckle and he was not amused.
I work at a coffee shop and we have one lady who comes in at like 2pm every day, and stays until close (9pm) and sometimes even after, until 9:30. She orders a medium coffee and gets 5+ refills without paying when only the first one is free. She's not a terrible customer, but not the nicest. One night, she came in and got her coffee. She set all her things down at a table, and comes back up in line. She orders a spinach and feta croissant. I ask if she would like that warmed up? She says "How much are your muffins?" I tell her. She says she would like the croissant warmed so I grab one and then around to start heating it. She is still asking me questions so I was about to turn around to answer her but before I could, she repeated her question but yelling at me instead. so I answered calmly and then told her the food would be out in a minute. She gets it and sits down. We end up getting a line of about 5 people. all of a sudden she storms up to the front of the line, interrupts a couples order, and says "HEY ISNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE FETA IN THIS??" I said yes, it's a spinach and feta croissant. She said "There's NO feta in here. that's not fair." I said "Dude we don't make those here, they come frozen in a box. I don't know what to tell you. you got it heated so the cheese probably melted." she just went and sat back down but I was so irritated and so were the other customers. I could have handled it better but meh. I'm rarely snappy to customers and I felt it was deserved after she cut the line and interrupted people.
Years ago I worked in a drugstore and helped a very nice elderly Vietnamese customer find a item she was after which was no easy task as she spoke almost no English, eventually after playing charades for 10 minutes we found what she needed. She smiled really big and she said "thank you, thank you, Happy birthday" in broken English and I responded "Happy birthday to you too" and she walked away.
A customer wanted to make a complaint so I started to say "go ahead" and changed my mind mid sentence to say "fire away". So, I ended up saying "go away". We both looked shocked for a second before I started apologising like crazy.
A bit late to the party... But this is really my chance to shine.
I work at a furniture store. I'm primarily a sales manager but sometimes that means I have to deal with upset customers.
A customer was upset that she couldnt get a refund for her sofa that didnt fit in her apartment. The customer had been clearly explained to that it was her responsibility to make sure the sofa fit in her space as it was clearance final sale product. Her full page 8.5" by 11" receipt clearly had written on it that customer was responsible to make sure merchandise would fit.
Now technically the policy, is no refunds. I let the customer no we would let her reselect into a smaller sofa as long as she paid the delivery fee again and a 25% restocking fee. Now this customer is absolutely livid. Shes yelling on about how its unfair and shes going to sue us. Claiming she wasnt told about not being able to exchange it.
I had her read her copy of the receipt to us. And when she read one of the parts about the sofa being final sale with no refunds she was flabbergasted. I then asked her to tell me what was right under that line. "By signing I agree to these terms..." followed by her signature.
She freaks out and says "Oh well I'm sorry I didn't read the fine print, buyer beware! Never shopping at _____ again"
I just responded... "Mam, I need glasses... Which I am currently not wearing and can clearly read the Bold print terms you agreed too by signing"
She hung up after that and my coworker who was sitting right next to me said... "i honestly cant believe you said that"
eloise4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "chill vibes area" instead of "upscale lounge".
I used to work at a cellphone carrier. A customer came in asking if Android phones can handle docs and spreadsheets. I tell him yeah definitely, here I'll show you how Google docs works.
I open up my docs and scroll to find something work-like and see a report called "Science Report - Final" or something, so I click that and open it in front of him to show him what a typical formatted paper might look like. Instead the document opens and is full of the most obscene photos I've ever seen. Anus close-ups, dicks connected to mouths with strings of spit/cum, shit in toilets, dogs pooping, etc.
Turns out way back when I had a friend who used to get me to proofread her papers all the time and one day out of frustration I just left the title page and replaced the rest of the paper with the horrible images I just described and sent it back to her, but because I left the title page in tact and left a normal filename it ended up pranking me way harder than it had pranked her.
The customer was confused and left very shortly after.
This one is kinda in reverse and I was a witness to the conversation. I work in Loss Prevention and this was near the beginning of my career.
We had just caught a lady who was boosting menโs care products, she had tried to walk out with about $300 worth of Axe body wash and deodorants stuffed in her bag. She didnโt have an ID and admitted to being under the influence of drugs, either crack or heroine because she was all over the place. So we had to call the cops for assistance with identification.
The cops walk in and one of them, letโs call him Officer Smith, looks at her and says โdonโt I know you from somewhere?โ With a smirk on his face.
The lady looks at him and yells โDo you? Did I sick your dick in the back of a taxi cab last week?โ
The color in the cops face disappears as his partner is standing there laughing at him. My coworkers and I had to run into a separate office and shut the doors so he couldnโt hear us laughing.
Worked at a pizza chain several years ago. A customer ordered some extra ranch dipping and unfortunately the driver forgot to put the ranch in. It was mid week, lunch time meaning we only had two drivers and both happened to be out. The customer called to complain, to which I apologized and of course told them we would send the driver back as soon as possible. Three minutes pass and the customer calls back complaint the driver isn't there yet. I try to calm her down try to rationalize that it'll take a little time to come back to the store, pick up the ranch and drive back. Despite even offering extra sauce or a 20oz soda for the trouble she would not stop demanding that she needed the ranch right NOW. And I quote "I need the Ranch to eat this pizza! I need it right here right now!" I was sick of talking to her and I had three other lines waiting I just auto responded with "you don't NEED Ranch to eat your pizza. It's not impossible to eat without Ranch, give it a try." She wasn't too happy with that and it started a whole new rant. I hung up. She called back, with her husband. He threatened to come to the store to beat us up for disrespecting his wife and her ranch, so I decided lady luck was on my side and told just said, "I won't be sending a driver with your ranch because of the threats you have made and I don't think my drivers will be safe. If you want to discuss it calmly at our store we will be happy to help" and I hung up on him again. Twenty minutes later, I'm on the phone with another customer, a man comes rushing in with a pizza, starts yelling and tosses the pizza at the pizza makers. Pizza makers are some pretty tough people, and they straight up rush the guy and scare him out if the store. Never heard from him again, never even got a complaint.
It amazes me that these types of people find each other. Though I guess it's a good thing. Better than having a normal person marry an insane one. I can't imagine behaving this way and I LOVE ranch with my pizza.
My first job was working at a fancy grocery store that the main customers were from a near by multi million dollar neighborhood. I was asked to sub in the produce area. A man asked me what type of mushrooms they had and I listed off what I knew, including โshit takeโ mushrooms. He got me to repeatedly say โshit takeโ before telling me the real pronunciation. I was extremely embarrassed and tried to hide every time he came in. That was almost 20 years ago and I continue to call them โshit takeโ mushrooms.
I used to work for a movie rental place, and once a year they would accept donations for the Helen Keller Foundation. One day, it was just me and the manager working, and she was running a customer through the till while I organized some returns. She asked the customer if they wanted to make a donation, and the customer asked, "who's Helen Keller?"
My boss says, "Oh, she was deaf, dumb and blind," and without thinking, I blurt out "But she could sure play a mean pinball."
Instantly I got that cold sweat, knot in the pit of your stomach feeling, like I just flushed a pretty decent job down the toilet.
Fortunately, they both burst out laughing, and from then on she would start laughing every time someone asked, or mentioned Helen Keller being deaf, dumb and blind.
Yesterday it was raining and I was under a smallish umbrella. A guest runs up under it and says โhello buddyโ I look at him dead eye and said โI donโt need anymore friends.โ I legit still think I might lose my job if he went and complained. ๐
I said trading in your Xbox Elite remote for a wired Wildcats controller was like trading in your kid with a prefectly fine IQ for one with Down Syndrome.fired about a week after.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unsure if I should upvote or downvote, because you really shouldn't have said this
bectato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the time I was working for Apple and I had a woman who was being very very rude and hateful. Once she threatened to go to Android I looked her straight in the eye and said โhave fun at the Android store.โ She was shocked and asked me to repeat what I said and made direct eye contact and repeated what I said. I shouldnโt have said it but damn if I donโt regret it.
I was a host at a restaurant when I was around 17. This is the type of restaurant where it was mainly families and old people, plus it is located right next to a retirement home so we would get elderly people in to eat quite often.
One morning, a group of elderly men and women come in to eat. Saying they were elderly is an understatement. These people were on the verge of death they were so old and frail. Anyway, they had their meal, sat around and talked, and finally they got up and practically crawled out the door. Me, being trained in hospitality and having an innate urge for politeness, decide to wish them a pleasant remainder of their day. But instead I said to them "enjoy the rest of your days".
I don't think they heard me so that's a plus, but this is a running joke 5 years later at this restaurant.
Once I was a customer service representative and an elderly woman comes up to me and we are making small talk when she says she had lost her husband. My response was "we can leave him if you'd like" as it was common to have people paged. She said "oh honey I meant he died."
To bosses not customers but still - I was on some rather intense meds for a few months that made my thinking foggy.
I'd noticed my boss was looking very tired a lot lately (let's call her Jane). what my brain was thinking was - she looks tired and hungover like she's had a rough night, better ask if she's feeling OK. What I said : "hi Jane how are you? You know you always look really drunk "....
She said " yeah I have been drinking, I'm actually going through a divorce".
another boss (who was a sour bitch I hated to bits) was going on maternity leave and a card was being passed around. I was on hold on the phone while being pressured to write something adorable on the card, I absentmindedly wrote "have a nice baby" and signed my fucking name underneath and passed the card along. Did not realise what I'd done until workmate came up to me after work cracking up and hi fiving me for my "sarcastic burn". Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Loved the disclosure and can relate to your anxiety towards phone calls
First day working a register in retail and the credit card number wasn't working when I typed it in - readers weren't standard tools yet and I'd have to use the carbon copy imprint slider if it turned out to be a problem with the register or back office and not with the card.
I called the credit card verification number and after keying in the number and expiration was told "Please hold." I turned to the customer and said, "I'm sorry sir, but I've been told to confiscate your card." The customer was obviously embarrassed because at that point he just wanted me to give him his card back. He has another he'd use. I explained to him again that I couldn't give him the card and he grew agitated -- probably because he knew he was caught.
My manager overhead the conversation and came over to see what the fuss was about. I explained what has happened and this was obviously something that might require the authorities. He called the credit card company too, to see if we needed to call the police next I was sure. He said, "I'm sorry sir, this card is over it's limit, do you have another one we can use?" And he handed back the clearly fraudulent card."
The customer fished out another card, probably not even the same name, then finished the transaction and left. My manger turned to me and said, "They wanted you to stay on the line until a representative could talk to you." He turned and walked back to another part of the store.
Use to work at Best Buy. Guy asked me why so many people wanted to buy Nintendo Wiiโs. I said fat people want to get skinny. He was very overweight. Instantly regretted that.
"Since you think lens distortion is what's making you look fat in the photos, explain to me why your husband and everyone else in the pics look great."
I should have just went with "yeah, that's probably what it is and will try to reduce some of that in post - sorry for the equipment problem."
Some brides are never happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my boss. I was working at an RV dealership and my boss had just given us this big speech about how to greet customers. Eager to demonstrate, I guess, he approaches a group of 4 people (2 couples) that have wandered onto the lot.
The 2 couples appear to be 20-30 years apart in age. Pretty common for us to get extended family shopping together for RVs. So my boss goes up with all the confidence in the world and starts talking to them, and it's obvious the younger man and his wife are the ones looking for an RV.
So my boss says "That's great, and are you looking for something that maybe has room for mom and dad?" and motions towards the other couple. The guy cracks a smile, says "no, just for us". After a couple more minutes, they ask if they can just browse around, so my boss leaves them and comes back inside.
About 5 minutes later, the guy who's interested in buying walks in, laughing his ass off. He says "Buddy, you just made my fucking day."
Turns out, the other couple wasn't "mom and dad", it was his wife's younger sister and her husband. I literally saw the blood drain from my boss's face. He was always the most professional salesman I've ever met, but all he could manage to say was "Fuck off. Seriously?"
Probably going to get buried but my proudest moment was when I worked in the airlines. This will be a long one but it ought to be worth it.
I was working at the departure gate, preparing the flight that was about to arrive and turn right back. Well, the counter I am in is for three gates (5, 6 and 7; it was a large-ish part of terminal) and one of them had a flight that was just about ready for pushback. Cue mom and dad running in, dragging two kids with them but they were late. Dad yells out in frustration at the visage of his missed flight, and comes to my counter to ask about the flight. I tell him that flight is indeed gone and that the agents working the flight will be out shortly to help him.
He loses his shit at this point, cussing and yelling that "in Destination they always wait for us and yada yada". I explain I am not responsible for his flight, and I could do nothing at that point to help him (I really couldn't) and that he had to wait a few minutes (again) for the guys working the flight. Cussed some more and storms over to the chairs in front of where the plane is to ruminate or something. The wife looks at me like "sorry" and tends to him for a bit, taking notice of how he blasted at me (some of the cussing was directed at me, also).
She comes back not long after and speaks to me more calmly, asking me questions. I had no problem talking to her but as I reiterated that there was nothing I could do (she hadn't heard me), but I added this in the end: "And furthermore, I understand he is frustrated but the way I see right now he has two problems. For one, you guys got here very late, to the point that there was no way you were going to make it and for two, he needs to tone down the attitude and calm down because if he blows up like that again he will not get much in the way of help". She understood, agreed, and thanked me without hesitation, going back to the husband. And the entire time I am thinking "welp, I went off there".
As I was clocking out later that evening, I got called in, as I suspected. They wanted to write me up, as the husband had complained to the lead agent on duty (one of the guys working his missed flight) and obviously, reported forward as he is supposed to. Only reason I did not get the write up was because that was the day I went on a short leave, and they knew it. My sup said "we'll discuss this when you come back". It's been 4 years since, I'm not there anymore (good riddance) and the "discussion" never happened.
vaamps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally asked some Spanish speaking customers if they had a โtarjeta de putosโ instead of โtarjeta de puntosโ
I was mortified.
Gostem2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at geek squad and was taking over a shift at the front counter. Two older ladies walk up and wanted to check in a computer itโs a mother and daughter but still in their older years. After a few minutes I ask what day is best to pick up the computer when finished, the daughter looks at her mom and asks โwhat days do you have the doctor appointments?โ The mom responds โI have chemo this day and this dayโ no big deal she has cancer just continue with the conversation. Once everything is said and done I ask if there are any more questions, the daughter asks โare Russians gonna be spying on our computer?โ Now I get questions like this often and I have the same answer all the time but the problem was who I said it to this time, I responded with โnahh youโre fine, unless you have the cure to cancer in there itโs unlikely youโll get that kind of attentionโ I realized immediately what I just said and she looks down sad and responds โman that would be niceโ ended the conversation as quick as I could and got out of there.
Working in a sports store I was serving two police officers, they were in full uniform and just browsing mainly. Anyway I asked one of there was a pair of shoes he liked and he pointed out a pair, his partner then turned to him and said "we tried to catch a guy who stole a pair last week" , without even thinking I just said "yeah you know why you didn't catch him? Because he was wearing these shoes" , they shot me a dirty look and walked out.
After I refused to return a woman's items that were 6 years old, and no longer in our system, she started howling obscenities at me and the whole 'no wonder you work in retail, you're obviously a moron!' and then stalked towards the exit I said in the most lovely tone after her 'Have a WONDERFUL day!'
She looked like she was about to start swinging at me. I didn't care, she was a cunt. My supervisor told me I should have just kept quiet.
First early morning start in awhile I'd been there since 5am and two young girls walk in with bright red eyebrows, they come to my till and I ring them up and for some stupid reason I mention the redness and they say "oh yeah we just got our eyebrows threaded!" I just respond with "YEAH YOU CAN TELL" but it came off super aggressive and condescending...
This lady use to come in every day in drive thru and order tons of roast beef sandwiches, mozzarella sticks , potato cakes, curly fries, jalapeno bites, potato bites and of course a large diet Pepsi. It got to the point where she was spending 500 seconds in our drive thru. We would always get bitched out about this drive time. So my manager told me to tell the lady to start coming inside.
Holy shit. She just start going off on me calling me all sorts of names, yelling every 4 letter word in the book, asking for everyone in the companies phone book, threatening all sorts of shit. Asking how "how am I supposed to coming, I have diabetes and I m obese. Finally my manager comes over and says knock it off. Starts doing the same to her. Finally gets her food and leaves
This whole ordeal took about 1000 seconds. So the next day we were bitched out again for that drive time.
Bonus: the lady after her was super nice. Apologized to her about the wait and the Yelling from the other lady. Her response was "no worries not your fault she was a btich"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a hotel receptionist, nightshifts. This young girl called down to tell me there was a spider in her bathroom and wanted me to come remove it. I went up there and it was a tiny spider on the bathroom wall. I said something like ยซThis little thing? I have seen much bigger spiders around hereยป
Well, I'm a nurse, and healthcare has really turned into a customer service industry at this point.
I had a patient who was walking around independently all shift, then when he was in bed, hit his call bell and asked me to close the door for him. I said "well, you've got legs don't you?" and he was not happy about it.
Also had a customer ask me if the exit in the back was an emergency exit or if he could use it. I told him Iโm pretty sure itโs a usable exit but to run in case it isnโt. He gives me a weird look and stands up and limps towards it
DanBGG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'If you don't shut up I can't help you ' whelp , slipped out while being talked over. Didn't hear me clearly thank god.
I work at a fire station, and we occasionally have members of the public stop by for various reasons. There is a code which means " citizen" it is mostly used by the police and I can never remember it. Something like 63? Anyways, I was in the kitchen doing something, and said something with some borderline foul language. Someone in the front office shouted out "63 in the office"
My response "what the fuck is a 63?"
The retired police officer who had stopped by for a blood pressure check shouts back "it means a citizen!"
JW group came to the prison and wanted an announcement made that they were having an open meeting. They didn't know what to call it. I suggested, "Liar's Club?"
Said out loud on the mic at McDonaldโs while taking some ladyโs order at the drive thru โanything else for you to..... or ok yeah just fucking drive awayโ. I guess the car full of teenagers behind her heard and weโre dying laughing.
gormzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work we have a computer system that tells us all the items we have in store, how much of each weโve got and when they were last delivered. We get a lot of customers asking us to look products up which we do in reception.
Anyway, I had been throwing up in the morning so I wasnโt in the best of moods, and a customer walks in, (bear in mind Iโm busy sorting out our stocktake paperwork) and they just immediately starts listing off all these items to me and asking if we have them in stock.
After about 10 items, I stopped them mid sentence and said โSir, I donโt have the entire computer system and stock files in my head, go awayโ. As soon as I said it I looked at him expecting the rant of Iโm going to tell your manager, but he just looked at me confused and walked away.
A customer wasn't happy about the condition the product was in that she had put in her cart, so she wanted the same product in better condition, so I said, "then I suggest you go get it"
Then she said, "what?" Altough she had clearly heard what I said so I repeated that she should go get it, she mumbled something angry and went and got her product.
I felt justified, but I don't think my boss would've appreciated it if he saw it.
When I was working in the plumbing department at Menards a nice couple (in mid 20s) were asking me questions about our toilets. I was explaining all the different kinds of toilets and their very boring stats. I then got to the best one they sell which advertises that it can flush a bucket of golf balls. Instead of saying that tho I, for some reason, instead said "you could flush a baby down this sucker ". Thank God I was called away to do something else very soon after. They seemed shocked. I still kinda giggle about that one tho.
Had a middle age woman call me about to fix her computer 7-8 times, every time it was something stupid like โ turn on the monitor buttonโ, โpower on the dockโ, โunlock computerโ etc. I told her manager that I wonโt go out to her unless she takes an IT course which he agreed too. Fast forward 4 weeks and I get called out to turn on her monitor again, so I say:
Are you sure you need a computer? Because I am pretty fking sure it doesnโt need you.
I was working as a bartender in a student bar. A guy paid for his drinks, I counted the money and instead of giving him a thumbs up like I usually did I had a brain fart and gave him the middle finger.
He was cool about it.
Was working at a pharmacy and a brittish guy walks in asking for thermometers. I showed him 2 types. "this is for oral use, and this is for uhhm, anal use?"
He got pretty upset and told me it's called rektal and then walked out the store.
Sorry if 17 year old me, living in Sweden didn't know perfect english. Twat.
A few years ago, I was a hostess for an upscale, overpriced Mexican restaurant. Our table-side guacamole was $14 (circa 2013.) I took phone orders for takeout and delivery. It was a bright, sunny, August day. I answered a delivery order, and the customer was unsure on how spicy he wanted his guacamole. I said, "You sound like someone who likes it SPICY!" He changed his delivery to takeout, appeared at the host desk, and asked me out on a date. All because he thought I was being flirtatious on the phone.
We had 2-person shifts, so breaks meant 1 employee manning the fort. Blockbuster made us take every minute of the 30 min unpaid lunch breaks and 10 min paid mid-shift breaks to avoid lawsuits.
So, when my other employee came back from lunch 6-7 mins early, she couldnโt log back on until the 30 min were up; she just hung out around the checkout area with me, where we had 3 terminals in a square shaped checkout area.
Because employees had to take all 30 minutes; usually 31-33 minutes, though some went 34+ minutes, which is fine once or twice but youโll get asked to clock in earlier if you repeatedly took 34+ minute lunches, because of the computer log in and log out for time logs.
The combo of employees coming back from break early because they were bored1
of their break โ and it was timed via logging in and out โ This was infrequently troublesome because customers would passive aggressively express discontent and impatience and pass judgment on an employee apparently not working, when they didnโt know she was prohibited from working while on break.
Didnโt matter to me.
Only 4 customers browsing. I could process 4 pretty quickly, like within 2-3 minutes without being rushed. Easy peasy.
They all 4 individually got in line around the same time.
1st transaction: Went fine. But the last customer let out a huge passive aggressive sigh and stared at my shift manager, who was still 5 min from break.
2nd transaction: Went smoothly. This time he literally raises his arms up high then lets them fall on his hips to make a loud bitchy sound.
3rd transaction: The lady had brought up the cover box instead of the rental box (a LOT of people did this, more old than young, and employees were split. Some loathed then, some were indifferent.) I informed her that she got the wrong box and volunteered to just run and get the rental box since it would take longer for her to go back and find it
At this point the last guy waiting says โcan she not use one of the other 3 registers?!โ directing it at my manager. She explained to him she was on mandatory break for 2 more minutes. He didnโt care.
Finally heโs up. First thing he says to me is
You know, Iโve been waiting FIVE MINUTES in line when that could have rung me up on a different register and Iโd already be out the store
(He refers to my manager as โthat.โ Yeah, this manager was obese but super nice and pure of soul, and he reduced her down to a fucking inanimate object, and I suddenly had this out of body experience where I was watching myself, except whatever I thought I spoke).
In response I said
Well, if you donโt have the patience to wait five minutes how are you going to sit through a 2 hour movie?
No stutter or pauses or hesitation in delivery, and I looked him right in the eye. But I felt dread with every word that came out of my mouth, and as soon as I finished I was โback in my bodyโ and instantly had MY HEAD DOWN THE ENTIRE TIME and focused on processing the transaction ASAP โ but I โfeltโ his death stare into the top of my head that i felt my soul burning like an ant under a magnifying glass with a sun ray melting my soul away.
The longest, โloudestโ silence ensued after I said what I said โ the whole thing seemingly occurred during some sort of time stoppage or the player playing my life as a video game put my entire life on pause for what felt like minutes....as he didnโt react or say a thing.
as I imagine the customer was taken aback by fielding a retort. It lasted about 4-5 seconds, which is a LONG time.
And he was processing whether he really heard what he thought he heard.
Then, he yells
WHAT?!
I meekly say
that will be $4.28
He silently slides his debit card.
It processes and I say
thatโll be due on Saturday, thank you for visiting and have a good bye (meant to say โthank you, and have a good oneโ or โand bye, and thank you for visiting.โ
My manager sheepishly but professionally but unofficially โreprimandedโ me by saying
Yeah....you probably know this, but you shouldnโt say that again. I know he was a jerk, but letโs try to avoid getting dinged by secret shoppers (temp employees hired by retail companies to act like a customer and basically write up everything they see and hear, with a checklist too, like โdid employee greet you with a smile?โ and โdid any employees say โWelcome to Blockbusterโ upon entering?โ)
(weird how I remember the after tax price of rentals from 16 years ago, but rentals were $3.99 plus 7% sales tax at the time too)
1
Because our โbreak roomโ had a DVD player and TV, all of us would take a TV show and watch a 22-30 minute episode of something. Once you were done eating and the episode was over, youโre just alone and claustrophobic in the tiny portion that made up the โbreak areaโ of the storage room (the break area was as narrow as half a car width and as long as about the length from the steering wheel to the trunk).
It was essentially a single cheap foldable seat 2-3 ft in front of a TV with no table and just a microwave next to the TV.
This was long before smartphones, and Iโm not talking about iPhones and Galaxies... but like Blackberries for professionals and Samsung Blackjacks with physical keyboards taking up half of the vertical space and the horizontal slide phones with a wide keyboard...which didnโt have access to the normal internet or even web browsers, as there were zero mobile pages. The โinternetโ was akin to what AOL used to be perceived as, the entire internet experience, because youโd get a menu of limited options to do things online and 100% of the whole thing was built and operated by Cingular/ATT โ and again, this was BEFORE THESE PHONES EVEN EXISTED (2002).
The most coveted and popular phones in the early-2000s were the Nokia โbrickโ phone that had a screen the size of a bandage and just regular phone keys; then it was the tiny silver Motorola flip phone that was sleek and small just a little bigger than a pager, and that had Znake and video poker, and you could even program ringtones! Unheard of!
Except they played only one note at a time and you NEEDED to use online message board instructions as to code the notes, sharps and flats, tempo, and lengths of notes; I use โcodeโ liberally but it was essentially the same concept, because it wasnโt as simple as pressing record and punching keys in at a tempo. No, you had to code in Motorola โring tone languageโ where you established tempo first, like 6 characters like โT6044โ which would indicate a tempo of 60 beats per minute and a time signature of 4/4, then you individually typed out EACH NOTE, which were often 4-6 characters long like โO53F14โ which would indicate that itโs 5th/middle octave, the 3rd major key over (E), but adjusted to E-flat due to the F, played at a quarter note (14) since itโs 1/4 of the 4/4 time signature. I forget how โrestsโ were coded โ but theyโre more pronounced and obvious than ever because of the inability to code multiple notes at once or chords or a backing track (or a harmony). Once a rest was in it, there would be a pause of any and all sound.
All that for just the first note. And youโd have to spend like 30 seconds to save to play it, as it would exit the coding screen and into a blank screen which would display your codes as the notes played โ you couldnโt just preview play it. It took me 4 hours (no copy and paste, no speech to text, no touch screen) to code like 12 seconds of piano riff intro to โClocksโ by Coldplay โ pretty much the only viable song type since you could only play one note at a time, you couldnโt use percussion or chords, and the clocks piano intro could be played one piano note at a time. You couldnโt play, say โThe Scientistโ by Coldplay because it required the backing music and then the vocal melody.
A MIDI-based ringtone of Coldplayโa Clocks on that Motorola tiny flip phone โ thatโs as 2002 as it gets.
Even then, there were zero other sounds other than the beeps from your notes, so no layering or harmony or chords. There was no percussion-like function either. The only song that worked was Coldplayโs โClocksโ Piano intro, which can be played by single piano key strokes. Btw, how 2002-2003 does this all sound? And this was mind-blowing.
Eventually Motorola found a way to allow percussion and chords.
The next pre-smartphone big thing was the Motorola RAZR โ sleek, slim, light flip phone.
The first smartphones came about a year later and there were awful looking back, and underwhelming even back then. They were โsmartphonesโ in that they did more than just call and text. Technically, you had internet access, you could download ringtones (admittedly this was a HUGE thing because
make your own ringtone if you knew the notes and matching numbers, but it would just replay as melodic beeps of different notes with no chords or harmonies, no layering or beat (Coldplayโs โClocksโ worked well since the piano riff was catchy and thatโs all you needed since the real song plays only one note at a time). Anyway that phone was succeeded by the RAZR, both flip phones and immensely popular.
70-x-7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a mechanic in a food factory. I was cutting through a production room with a co-worker on our way to a service call. The room had a a weird smell so I joked โIt smells like the inside of a fake leg in hereโ
Guess who happened to hear me? A dude with one leg. I couldnโt apologize fast enough.
egvdk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what? I don't have time for your attitude and I'm not going to serve you. If you can't act like an adult I'm not going to treat you like one." To a woman who lost her shit over being carded.
I still stand by those words, but I most definitely shouldn't have said it. Could've landed me in a lot of trouble if not for her friends, who backed me up.
I'm a server at Olive garden and I was serving a table of 4 larger ladies. The table was one of our larger round tables. At the end of the meal I got their bills and dropped a pile of mints in the middle of the table. They all grabbed towards the middle fighting over the mints like pihranas laughing and the first thing my dumbass said was "Wow that reminded me of a game of hungry hungry hippos!" I did not get a tip off of that one...
I used to work in consumer electronics support. We had a lady who was bat-shit crazy that would often call and stop by for support. Most of the time it was for weird BS reasons. She said that the government was tracking her, that her husband had stolen billions of dollars by robbing the US Treasury and was currently serving a life sentence in prison. She always refused to pay us for our time because "All of the money my husband stole is in our bank account, and if I use a single penny of it the government will know where it's hidden."
She came in once with a standard monitor and ask us to remove the camera that her husband had hid inside of it. She said that he'd watch her from his cell in prison and she didn't like that. Note, this was a $289 compaq desktop with a $79 basic monitor. She didn't have a webcam or mic, but she was convinced her PC was listening to her and watching her.
Sometimes when she'd walk past her PC and accidentally bump the desk the monitor would turn on. She asked how else it could do that unless someone was watching. I told her about how wiggling the mouse can wake up a screen, but she didn't believe me. She brought her unplugged PC in, hooked a mouse to it, wiggled it, and tried to act like that proved me wrong.
She was the projectionist at her church (she was very proud that it was a branch of the Westboro Baptist Church) and said that her husband once hacked the projector from prison and displayed pornography on the screen in front of the whole church.
Anyway, the chain I worked for had a very specific dress code, white shirts, black pants, black clip-on tie, you probably know the one. After months of dealing with this whacko we were all sick of her wasting our time. These stories were entertaining, but when you have a line of 5 people waiting to be helped and she's refusing to leave and refusing to pay, you've got to get her out of there. She was asking for the umpteenth time for us to remove the government's tracking software from her PC, she said the FBI wouldn't stop messing with her. I told her very quietly "Ma'am, I'd love to do that, but I can't." "You mean you don't know how?" "No, I mean I can't. We work with the FBI, the ask us to put this software on computers. I like you. You're a good Christian woman, so I need to tell you that. Why do you think we dress like this? We work for the government ma'am."
Her eyes got to be the size of pie plates and she grabbed her PC and hurried away. To my knowledge she didn't ever come back.
My boss laughed when I told him, but said I probably shouldn't tell people we were putting tracking software on customer's computers.
I was a student nurse learning to draw blood, my patient is an elderly lady and very confused. I get the tourniquet around her arm but she's telling me a very expressive story moving her hands here and there. I get impatient and lay my hand on her upper arm to stop the story that makes no sense anyway. She's calm and quiet as I get near her with a sharp needle I say, "Hold On I'm About To Do Some Damage"......dead silence then we all bust out laughing saying it over and over again. I couldnt draw her blood because I was laughing so hard I was crying
I work in a coffee shop and this woman who was a wee bit overweight came in and she ordered her coffee and I asked would you like a bun with that, she then said No Iโm trying to be good and I turned around and said itโs probably for the best.
SO I used to work in a photo development place called max spielmanns in my home town, and during the summer i devleoped some photos of a beautiful bride and groom and their honeymoon. I didnt recognise the bride when she came in and was talking to my boss saying something along the lines of 'that is one goood looking man in those photos'. the woman burst out laughing and said 'thanks, i'll tell my new husband that the boy at the photo place thinks he's cute'. cue me dying in the back for a few hours.
I work in a restaurant, and I frequently say to people when I give them their meals, โenjoy!โ Really enthusiastically. Anyway, sometimes people will order a steak, and Iโll have to give them a steak knife and I wonโt mean to, but Iโll end up saying, โenjoy!โ As I give them their knife. Yeah.... enjoy the knife (I literally facepalm myself as I walk away sometimes.)
Told a first Gen Audi TT owner that his car was basically a more expensive, less reliable Beetle. By the look on his face, I'd assume he had never considered such a thing and was depressed at the idea.
The Bank Holiday Monday following Easter is one of our busiest for sales. Don't know why, it just is. I can see that the tills are getting slammed with all but one open and everyone has a huge queue. I ask what's wrong with Till 5 because no one has opened it and am told that the scanner was removed because it didn't work.
No problem, you can still type codes in. It's a little slower but anything will help with this rush of customers. So, I jump on the till and start serving.
It takes a little longer to get each customer through but I'm quicker than anyone else for typing codes. But there's one guy getting more and more pissed that I'm not moving fast enough. Finally, impatient dickhead is up and I start keying his items through.
"I wish you'd just hurry up, I've been waiting ages!"
"I'm going as fast as I can sir"
"You'd go faster if you scanned the items instead of typing them in!"
Without saying a word, I held up the empty cable where the scanner was supposed to be attached then carried on. A manager pulled me over later because a customer complained that I was "rude and condescending" while processing their goods.
I worked as a cashier and my bagger was a good friend to me, so we were joking around as usual. One customer had a pack of cans so I reached over and grabbed them and she said โwow your so strongโ. I then replied โoh donโt worry Iโm in constant agonyโ. There was silence for the next 3 minuets.
Not me but one of my mates, we worked in a call centre at the time and usually sat next to each other. He had previously spoken to this customer who called back again after their call, so she asked to speak with him again, usually when we transferred, youd connect to the agent, take the customers details and then click the transfer button but for whatever reason, the other agent cold transferred to my mate who answered with โIโll deal with this bitchโ. Somehow, I donโt think she heard him but we both looked at each other in shock and he immediately hung up. She never called back.
I was once canceling an account for a man who told me he was terminally ill. Out of habit I said "I hope you come back to us soon" at the end of the process.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer told me I reminded him of Sarah Silverman. Not thinking, I responded, โthanks you too!โ As I dropped off his check, he said that he didnโt actually care for Sarah Silverman, which I responded, โthen maybe you shouldnโt walk around calling people Sarah Silverman?โ Awkwardness ensued.
When I was 17-20, I worked at the local amusement park as one of those "annoying picture people" who stop you for pictures when you come in the park.
My last summer, I was so over the job and over being cussed out all day. I did my spiel and this lady (about my age) completely ignored me, which pissed me off. At least say, "No, thank you" or something.
So I muttered, "Or you can ignore me, that's cool too" to which she yelled, "OR YOU CAN BE RUDE, THAT'S COOL TOO."
That same summer, I had a kid who was 12 or 13 get in my face and yell, "If I want a picture, I'll ask for it" while his friends laughed. I replied, "Okay, asshole" without even thinking. That little douche and his friends immediately stopped laughing and walked away with their heads down.
I was on management for both of these and never got in trouble, even though my employees all heard the second one.
Lady came to my checkout with her brood of homeschooled kids in tow. They were fairly regular customers and always seemed pleasant and polite.
It was mid-December and we had a Santa's Grotto in the store. I asked the kids if they had been to see Santa. The mother quickly points out that Christmas should be about Jesus and they did not believe in Santa as he was a secular figure. (not sure which denomination of Christian doesn't like St. Nick but whatevs.)
I said "Oh, of course. It is ridiculous to raise children believing in a mythical figure who watches your every move and judges your actions and motives on an arbitrary set of archaic rules and rewards or punishes you accordingly and Santa is even worse!"
She went pale. The kids went silent. My heart stopped.
Fortunately, she did not pursue the matter through my supervisors but from that moment on she made it her mission to convert me and save my soul every time she visited the store.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pharmacy. Sometimes, patients choose to have their medication delivered if theyโre elderly or disabled.
I get back from a week long vacation to work a Saturday afternoon shift. However, our pharmacy and lab closes at 4 pm on saturdays so people can only pick up their medication, not refill or drop off scripts. During this time, the entire part of the pharmacy is closed off from me and I have no access to any scripts that are in the workflow.
Around 5:30 or 6, I get a call from an elderly lady asking if her husbands medication is ready. So I put her on hold to look for her husbands medication on the shelf behind me. After a minute of looking, I couldnโt find it so I take her off hold to tell her that I donโt have the meds so theyโre not ready to be delivered.
She instantly goes off. She starts yelling how this was the third to me this week where she has called and the medication wasnโt ready yet. Sheโs calling me a cold and callous person and how Iโm completely useless. In between her breaths, I try to explain to her how Iโm not part of the filling process, I have no access to the pharmacy, and this is my first day back after a week so I had no involvement in her husbands medication.
She doesnโt bother listening to me and keeps going off and insults and berates me for another 5 minutes. I sit there and take it until she says how her husband has dementia and really needs his medication.
I reply with, โWell if he has dementia, heโs gonna be dead anyways and thereโs no medication that can save himโ
Yeah, it wasnโt my best decision. Anyways, after she hung up, I call the pharmacist (my boss) and let him know the situation. He comes up to the pharmacy personally delivers it to her house.
I had a customer tell me she "didn't understand how people could stand to work retail. I get it that there are people like you who aren't smart enough go to college who need jobs like this, but I could never do it myself"
I asked her what she did, she said "Oh nothing. I just married well" I replied "Well that's nice but not everyone can make a living lying on their back"
Thankfully she didn't understand what implying because she said thanks and left with a smile. My boss thought it was really funny but made sure to understand if she had gotten mad he would have fired me. Worth it.
So to preface, I work at a Chinese food place, that's actually pretty quality. We make our food to order and accommodate any food allergies or preferences. So a customer, a lady comes in and shes really excited to get some food, she comes in and orders a tofu pad thai with no egg, I'm like "okay cool sure. Some people don't like the egg taste in their noodle dish" but the thing is out pad thai is made with Oyster sauce, so it isn't vegan or vegetarian and we can't make it without it. As she's ordering we start to talk as I ring her out and she says "I love coming here, te he good is so good and vegan friendly, I get the pad thai all the time"...oh no, little did she know this entire time she's been eating oyster sauce, so I say "oh, but our pad thai contains oyster sauce " and her smile drops and she looks shocked, shes angry. "So all those times I've been told that this dish is vegan, was a lie?" Oh no, apparently the co worker whose ring her up before said the dish was vegan not knowing want vegan actually ment, so now I'm in this situation with this angry vegan and I just decide to lie. "Oh, I'm sorry I was thinking of the lovemain, ah yes, the pad thai is vegan sorry for the confusion". I don't know of she believed me or just wanted to, but she got her food, ate it, and left.
So I work at Offie Despot (the C is burnt out on our sign and my managers make the associates lives miserable). I was checking a customer out one time and it was a long, very busy day. I was also kind of new still, and have never had much actual social interaction before this job.
Anyways, this lady comes through and I check her out. She's kind of crazy sounding, justifying to me why she needs a divorce form even though the only thing I ever asked for was her rewards card/phone number. I'm just kind of awkwardly agreeing with her hoping she'll shut up, because she's getting herself pretty heated here.
She pulls out her check book and starts filling it out. I tell her the total and she hands it over and says "haha I bet you don't get too many checks anymore! Most people use debit cards now days. My son doesn't even know how to write one!"
I'm not thinking and never really had any malicious intent towards even flies back then - like a naive child who just trusts everyone to be a good person and no one to take offense to anything. My response was akwardly saying "Yeah, most people who come through when I'm on the registers use cards. The only people I really ever see use checks are older customers." Just trying to agree with her still to avoid the awkwardness and her ranting.
Now keep in mind this lady is like 30 maybe 35 looking max. She promptly gets really snotty and says "Well that's just your opinion!". I don't argue with her cause I know you don't argue with customers here let alone hold up the checkout line. I don't even pay much mind to it and give her the thank you speech we have to give and hand her the receipt.
About 2 minutes later in checking out the next customer and get a call. Caller sounds like a rude lady, demanding for the manager. I'm like k, hold for a second and tell the manager over the radio it's for them.
Well apparently she raged to the manager saying I called her an old lady who didn't know how to use a debit card and all this other bullcrap. Like all I did was agree with her.
Since then I've learned to just say the bare minimum and not be so conversationional with people in checkout to avoid upsetting stupid people. But yeah, she setup a new and awkward cashier and got mad when someone just agreed with everything she said. She's got some other problems in life if this is what she worries about... At 30-35 years old...
This older lady comes through the drive thru at my work all the time, she was a regular and we were friendly to each other.
One day she comes through and when look in the passenger seat of her car, I notice a big green box that looks like a box of pampers. So I say โoooh diapers! Who had a baby?!โ
She took a long pause and looked at me and said โthose are mineโ. they were depends, adult diapers. Iโve never wanted to quit my job more than that moment.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy I know came into the bar with a couple of his friends all dressed in suits. I asked him how he was doing, and he said "Not good, I just buried my cousin." I said "Congratulations."
I have no idea why that came out of my mouth. I was just on autopilot and associated suits with something worthy of being congratulated.
Was on my phone at my cash register because it was a super slow day, when all of a sudden a little old lady appears out of nowhere, and with a smile asked me what I was looking at, and me being the smart ass that I am said "Ohhh just looking for another job online."
She laughed, but my manager (who I was friends with) overheard me, face palmed, then walked away shaking her head.
One time I had opened the store and was working by myself for a few hours. A customer in a wheelchair comes in, I ask him if I can help him with anything, he says no, he's just browsing, and I leave him alone.
A few minutes later, he speaks up and says, "Wow, you guys have changed the layout since the last time I was here." This is actually something you hear with great frequency working at a retail store, and I had an automatic response already queued up. It was the same thing I always said when a customer said this, so I didn't even think about it. Unfortunately, the automatic response was, "Yeah. We like to keep our customers on their toes."
He just looked at me, and I had no idea what to follow that up with, so I just walked away.
A regular customer came in with a bandage where he had lost the tip of a finger. As i handed him his change i said "Here's your finger." His reply was "What?" To this day I dont know how i looked him straight in the eye and said "Here's your change". I think he thought he misheard me.
When I was in High School I worked at a grocery store bagging groceries. It was common practice to ask the customer if they wanted they milk in a bag or left out. On one occasion a couple had a gallon of milk and a gallon of distilled water. Without a thought I asked if they would like their jugs in a bag. When neither of them answered I looked up from bagging to see the husband just glaring at me and the way stifling laughter. She was wearing a red v-neck t-shirt that did very little to conceal her ample cleavage... I stammered something about the two containers in front of them realizing my poor choice of words and quickly turned a shade of crimson similar to her v-neck.
Working at a car lot in sales, customer pulls up to the door and starts honking his horn. I proceed to let him know that this isn't McDonalds
and if he would like service he needs to get out of his car. Failed to see the handicapped hangar on his rearview. Whoops.
A guy told me that he lost a dog over the weekend. I said "I hope you find it." I almost immediately realized that he meant that the dog died and not that it ran away.
I was carrying a tray of appetizers when a wedding guest asked to steal one the toothpicks. I said please be my guest.
They were the used toothpicks from the appetizer.
His buddy caught on right after he stuck it in his mouth. I apologized.
Vlaed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have business overseas and I will deal with Chinese and Japanese customers, in English. There's a long history and tension between China and Japan, so they will sometimes talk poorly about the other nation/customers to me. Such as, some Chinese will say, "Japanese never get anything done because they think about it for too long." Or the Japanese will say, "The Chinese can't get things done because they buy cheap equipment." I had just gotten off a call with a Japanese customer and I called into another meeting. I forgot I had called into the Chinese customer's meeting and they were talking about a machine issue. I then forgot I was talking to a Chinese customer and not a Japanese one. Then I jokingly said, "Hopefully it wasn't made in China." I then realized who I was on the phone with and went into panic mode. My boss was on the previous call and realize I spaced out and goes, "At least it you're not (Insert Japanese company) because when they break down, they just stare at the problem and go, 'Should we have a meeting to talk about how to talk about fixing this?'" The customer started laughing and moved on. My boss later was like, why? WHY?
Yay I can answer this one! I work behind reception at a holiday park and we were having a darts weekend, which meant lots of large groups of males with beer checking in.
A bloke comes to reception after checking in and says he doesn't have enough bedding (they have one double bed and four singles.) Here's how the conversation went:
Me: I'll get you some more bedding, no worries.
Guy: Yeah, cheers. To be honest, we're just gonna push them (beds) all together anyway.
Me: (imagining one huge bed and them all sleeping together in a big hamster pile) Uh...okay man, whatever floats your boat I guess. What happens at darts weekend stays at darts weekend.
Guy: No, no! We're going to push the single beds together so each guy has a double!
Thank God he laughed and didn't take it the wrong way!
An old lady was just finishing her purchase and told me to have a wonderful day. I said back "I hope you have a good rest of your days". I was meant to say "day", not "days". Needless to say, it got pretty awkward from there.
Eirysse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a Tim Hortons, in drive through this regular was complaining that his kid was always late because our line was always so slow and long: "Don't come in line then" I havent seen him since.
Ogr384 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I started cursing in Slovenian, to myself, while fixing a bunch of mistakes from the planogram team and this old lady looked at me and shook her head and said I shouldn't say those things.
Another time a customer came in and walked up to my friend and said he sold him a bullshit broken phone and my friend said no sir you're bullshit.
The best one was when I had a store manager who did not give af about complaining customers. This lady was telling him do you know how much money I spend here and he starts looking around the cabinets behind guest service. He pops up and says I'm sorry I was looking for the trophy for best customer
DuceW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back in my Hell(p) Desk days, I had a flight attendant with her company issued iPad call complaining about an app taking too long to sync (after she deleted it and re-added it)
I tried to walk her through the process and she kept arguing with me.
"No, that's not how that works! What do you they pay you for! You have no idea what you're doing!"
I said: Ma'am... I don't tell you how to pass out peanuts, don't tell me how to fix your iPad.
Rob1150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
phildoc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a bit late to the party but here goes:
So I was working in Argos (Britain) at Christmas time selling all sorts of things. I was fairly new to the job, and inherently socially awkward, so I kept to a similar script whenever I was giving a customer their item from the back.
This worked quite well until this one time:
Me: โWould you like your item bagged?โ
Them: โYes please.โ
Me: โIs this for you or a gift for someone else?โ
I look up to see a wide-eyed lady collecting the male shaver that I have just hurriedly bagged as she responds: โa gift.โ
A long time ago during the Christmas rush when everyone in the game store worked 13 hour days (great overtime pay), I was working the cash register as the store was closing. The last person was finally being rung up when she suddenly started to question her purchases. It being 30 minutes past closing, I said, โMaโam, the time for decisions has past.โ
I didnโt work the cash register the rest of that Christmas.
Loved that job.
It wasnt a customer for me but to an applicant. I wasnt sure of his skills so I was deliberating in my mind if I should short list him or not. I ended the interview and blurted: "Looking forward to working with you." I immediately took it back and said, "I meant talking to you again."
Skr000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store in college and the local warehouse went on strike once so we had a very, very small amount of product to put out. We were out of everything and couldn't fulfill the sale items for the current ad. After a day of getting screamed at by customers for being out of products, I was finally closing up shop and 15 minutes away from freedom. A woman comes up and asks where the family packs of chicken are. Before I can answer, she goes on a tirade about how we never order anything and we're always out of everything.
I finally said, "Look lady, the warehouse is on strike, it's really not our fault we don't have chicken." She immediately sees red and screams at me, "HOW DARE YOU. MY HUSBAND WORKS THERE AND IF THEY PAID HIM A DECENT WAGE HE WOULDN'T NEED TO GO ON STRIKE!" So I said, "Well, if you want some chicken, you should probably tell your husband to go to work."
I was working at Subway. A dad and kid come through the line. Dad wants the kid to order for himself. Kid does okay until he gets to vegetables. "Uhhhhhhhh..."
So I say "too late, lettuce and tomatoes" and start slapping them down. The kid looked a little dejected but his dad just started laughing and went about the rest of the order.
Yanwes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have black and white driver licenses in Virginia. I asked a black customer at a table for his I.D. when he ordered a beer. The photo was terrible. I couldn't recognize a facial feature at all. I said aloud, "The lighting is terrible in this photo." Him and the two girls just looked at me shocked for a second, but didn't say anything. I told them I'll get them their drinks. They ended up leaving a zero in the tip line. I felt bad. I didn't mean it in any racial say, but they were certainly offended. Oh well. It was years ago.
Atamask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this counts but I use to work at a KFC and one day this lady comes in and asks for all the chicken we have (like 3 family meals) and leaves. She was a bit rude but nothing out of the average. She comes back an hour later and says her chicken was cold. (Well duh I thought it's been an hour...also when I gave her the meals that chicken had been out maybe 15m so totally on her) and she wanted another 3 family meals for free.
...well now I hated my job back then and the manager was a drunk pos so fine by me :) let the chicken rain down...but I tell her it'll be 45 minutes cause we have to make her more chicken since she cleaned us out an hour ago and the chicken we just fixed went to some old people and the bar. She is furious that it takes time to make chicken and that chicken doesn't just magically exist in deep fried form (she's enormous I don't know if that matters but it was more humerous to me)
I gave this lady her free 4th 5th and 6th family meal of the day and she says thank you...then just looks at me expecting a "you're welcome" it's here I realized she doesn't understand how that expression works at all because she wasn't welcome, I wasn't welcome, no one was welcome about this.
I don't say anything to her, she repeats it louder and more aggitated staring daggers at me.
...I swear it was a whole minute before she finally walked away and when she got to the door she screames "YOU'RE WELCOME" to which I reply "not really"
She didn't turn around, I have no idea if she heard me.
TL;DR a lady spends hours getting free chicken at a KFC only to get mad that I wouldn't say "you're welcome"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a hotel. We had a sports team staying with us and all 200 rooms wanted late checkout because "our game doesn't end until noon" (not my fault or problem). Well we gave out 5 late checkouts as per policy and then said no more.
I got a phone call from a grown ass sports mom who was full on whining like a child denied candy about "whyyyyyy did theyyyyyy get a late checkout and I didnnnnn't it isn't faiiiiiiiirrrr." I tried to explain it is first come first serve. The whining continued.
My filter failed and I said "ma'am I have other matters to attend to and I don't have time to listen to you whine like a toddler." She did not like that.
I have subsequently asked our sales team if "no late checkouts" can be put into sports contracts.
This one is a little more light-hearted than most of the comments here, but it is still something I may never forget.
It was my first day working at a call centre for a popular pizza place, so my trainer/supervisor was sitting in on my calls in case any questions came up. A man called in with his order, and for some reason I needed to check something with my supervisor. There was no script or anything, so when it came time to ask the caller if he would mind holding for a minute, this cringe-worthy line fell out of my face:
"Sir, could I hold you for a minute?"
Cue awkward silence from the man, and wide eyes from my supervisor.
Another quick one that was not bad at all, just dumb, came out when I was confirming the spelling of something - I said "K like Kathy? ... ... with a K?"
When I was working as a busser, I told a couple that their baby was cute. It would've been fine if I had left it at that, but then for some reason I said "I remember when I was that cute" before getting a panicked look on my face and running away.
Another time, at my current job as a cashier, I was ringing up a woman with a drooling baby. I told her that her baby was leaking, before adding that I presumed that that was a normal thing to happen...
Sometimes it's a wonder that I don't embarrass myself more lmao
This is late and will absolutely get buried, but I used to work as a cashier at a supermarket. A guy comes in, buys four big boxes of condoms and a bunch of bananas. Without thinking, as I ended conversations with all my customers, I said โbye, have a nice evening!โ. He absolutely thought I was being sarcastic.
I was working at a hotel front desk when a man and younger woman came to check into a room for the night. I placed some paperwork for them to sign and give back, suddenly this guy slaps his mangled ninja-turtle looking three finger hand on the desk to snatch the paper. Well, I wasn't expecting that and yelled out in surprise Aaaahhh! Super brief but loud and rude. He gave me an unpleasant look, his female companion laughed and I pretended like I didn't just react to his disability like it was a Halloween haunted house show. Gave 10% discount to the room rental.
I work at a full serve gas station. I was filling up an old ladyโs car with premium when our massive gas delivery truck came to load up our tanks for the week, and promptly blocked this ladyโs car from going forward. This happens pretty often and most people have no trouble just backing up and turning around. But this lady looks at me and shrieks, โGreat! Now how am I supposed to get out of here!โ
Perplexed and not really thinking, I reply, โmaโam, do you not know how to reverse your car?โ
She snaps, โoh! Itโs that easy is it!โ
To which I replied, โmaโam, if you donโt
know how to reverse, should you be driving...?โ
She started yelling at me and said I was being ignorant and rude and she was never coming to this gas station again. I realized after it came out of my mouth it wasnโt kind, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
When you get a particularly rude customer, ask them politely not to swear at you and remind them youโre here to help. I guarantee, without exception, they will lose their fucking shit.
Poor naive 16 year old me. And poorer customer who had the misfortune of dealing with me before I learned to lie if it meant flattering the customer.
Lady walks in. Pleasant smile, nice, looked like she had a decent amount of foundation on. She's friends with my boss, Mike.
She gets her stuff, comes over to check out, compliments me on how polite I am with people. Now, me being dumb, I tell her I'm very observant and good at guessing. Hope you have your popcorn, people.
She's interested in my guessing abilities. She tells me to guess her age. I decline, telling her I should probably begin closing shop. She insists. Mike is in earshot now, cleaning the cutting boards.
I tell her "ok, fine... you look about 45." Mike busts out laughing. I look over at him, then back at the lady. Her mouth is wide open. "Excuse you, I'm 33 years old!"
My little Asian eyes widened as I began apologizing profusely while Mike is nearly in tears from laughing so hard. She takes her receipt and storms out in a huff. Mike looks up at me, still beaming, and said "She's not happy with you dude."
Gave me shit over this for the entire 3 years I worked there. I miss that job. Never guessed people's ages again after that.
Quick edit: I want to also share a story from my perspective, that happened between a coworker (who was a bit of a pompous dick over his military history) and a customer. Lady walks in, stands around for 3 minutes on her phone. She sees my co-worker walking by, snaps her fingers, points at the display, and says "Scallops." To which my coworker, while still walking, looks at her, snaps his fingers, points at the ground and says "Manners." Woman didn't like that.
Customers were semi regulars and always rude. My employee wasnโt having it that day and was being kind of short with him but still making his sandwich. Guy turns to her and asks why she has an attitude. My employee kept quiet but I was done with it. I just looked up and said, maybe itโs because you are incredibly rude and always are? Never saw them again.
elcd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Called a client, was my last call of the day.
Left a super professional message, as was the norm.
Hung up the phone, and whooped a "Fuck yeah. I'm out bitches!"
... I hadn't hung up the phone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy I refer as Vet (he's a Vietnam war Veteran) came through my line and told me he'd lost his leg and he was wearing a prosthetic. I automatically smiled and said, "Sir, did you kick someone and your leg flew off?"
Oh my god, the shock on his face. My face immediately froze and I could think was "oh god, what did I just say?"
Vet: -after a moment of astonishment- I wish more people were like you! Have a GOOD day! :D
He came to be one of best customer I ever had and he was a total sweetheart. He would come in about once a month to buy groceries for people in need and bring it to them. He even yelled at a lady once when the line was severely backed up and I was the only cashier at the front and she kept throwing stuff at me.
Worst thing I ever said to a customer, but easily one of my favorite interactions with a wonderful human being.
I accidentally told a customer to have a good evening when it was only about 1:30 in the afternoon, although in my defense, I had taken some motion sickness medication a little while ago.
I had this regular who was always super rude, always an entitled attitude. One time he caught me on a bad day, and when he pulled the "Don't you know who I am? Don't you know how much money I spend in your store per year?" routine (answer: not much...he always got quotes from us and then took them somewhere else to get them price matched or beaten), I let him have it. Keeping profanity out of it, I told him I didn't really care who he was, and that he was an absolute zero to me. To be fair, he was firing back at the same time. The whole time this was happening, I was thinking "I am sooooo fired" but kept going anyway. After the call ended, I rang up my boss and told him exactly what I had done. He was flabbergasted and didn't really know what to say.
A few minutes later the guy called me back and to my shock, apologized for the attitude. I did the same, and although he quit coming to our location (some good came of it) we moved on with a mutual agreement to pretty much avoid each other but keep things civil.
I was helping a lady program her remote. The pattern goes something like...
"please hold down the setup button until you see the light change"
The process had round robined about 10 times and the lady started to talk about the other buttons on the remote... out of frustration I said "we need to press the STUPID button"
There was no stop in her pace of babbling so I dont think she heard me, and I was never talked to about it, so I got away with it.
Late to the party but when I worked for a remote medical records company, I was tasked with hunting down a death certificate to remove the patient from a transplant list. After being transferred all around one of the biggest hospitals in the south west regions of the united states, several including the chief of security for the campus. I lost it on the secretary after she told me they don't store dead bodies there.
In a slightly too loud void I screamed
THEN WHERE DO YOU KEEP ALL YOUR DEAD PEOPLE AT?
Apparently they now teach tact when dealing with the deceased in orientation now...
I worked in a call center as a temp job for an apparel manufacturer. We had just been released from a meeting disclosing that two new manufacturing plants were just being opened, but we were not to disclose this to customers because the company prided itself on having a Made In The USA reputation, which was only half-truth because we did have an in-house sewing facilities for rush orders.
The very first call I took was from an inquisitive buyer who happened to ask explicitly where these clothes were made, and I really didn't care about the job enough to disclose immediately that we had several overseas manufacturing plants. I was let go in a week.
Not a customer but a patient. Was scheduling them a dental appointment, and we are booked out pretty far. I let her know that, but remembered that we have days set for patients with diabetes. I asked her If she was diabetic and she said, โyeah I have diabetesโ so I said โOH COOL...โ interrupted from telling her she could get seen sooner, she told me, โno not coolโ I was cringing at myself
Iโm a receptionist at a main front desk for a medium sized university. One of our requirements for all students of all ages who come to our campus is an online course on how to not die of alcohol poisoning, sexual assault prevention, etc. People donโt like it, especially people who arenโt 18 year old freshmen, but itโs mandatory, and if they donโt do it, they canโt register for classes.
So a dad calls me to complain about his daughter, who is an older transfer student, having to take this course and being blocked from registering and how itโs going to affect her education. Iโm already annoyed because itโs my 100th call about the course that day, and because the dad is lying (or the daughter is, I guess) and heโs saying she was never notified about the course. I am polite and courteous and end the call.
Half an hour later the dad calls back and demands to speak to me, by name, so he can yell at me some more. Iโm trying to explain, AGAIN, why we require the course: itโs a two-fold course that teaches safety but also reminds students that they need to check their email and take responsibility for their own shit. They get weekly reminders and itโs not our fault if they ignore them. What comes out of my mouth though is โsir, your daughter needs to be taught a lesson.โ
bruh... this guy called saying his pizza was wrong when it wasn't then he got mad cause he thought I sounded "high" on the phone (it's funny cause everyone but me and another co worker doesnt smoke weed...) anyways, they got angry and said "Do you have a manager?" and I said yea, and they asked "can I speak to him?" 2/3 of my managers are women, and I am also a women and for him to assume gender made me mad so... I said in an annoying voice "She's a women" and he got SOOOOO MAD. ... Anyways everyone laughs about it now and was on my side cause he was a dick!
I had told a customer to talk to another employee for some advice on something, they came back and thanked me and said "Yeah thanks for turning me onto [NAME]!" My joking with a friend kicked in and I said "Turned ya on huh?" in a sexual manner. LUCKILY AS FUCK it went right over their head conversation didn't miss a beat.
Not something I said, but something said to me. Summer 2012 shortly after the aurora shooting, I went to Disneyland wearing a Batman shirt. As we pulled up to the parking lot I handed the attendant my pass to get in, and he looks at my shirt and says "youre not coming in to shoot the place up are you?"
This did not happen to me but happened to a person I worked with at a call center.
This customers was yelling at him desperately because he did not read the terms and conditions when renting a car and did not know if he prepaid and then canceled there would be a cancellation fee, heโs furious and tells him that this is not HIS fault because he called and an agent made the booking for him and did not tell him the policy, but we can see if the booking was made by call/chat/website; so he made it himself and this guy couldnโt refund his money. There were no managers available as they were attending other calls and told him to wait and this customer was furious. My co-worker put the โmute buttonโ and proceeded to say a really bad word in Spanish, then the customer starts to yell way higher and tells him he knows Spanish and is going to report him. My co worker ended the call but this customer kept calling until he got him back!
Obligatory "happened to my coworker, not me." Also, coworker and customer both said things that they probably shouldn't have. I'll let you decide who won.
I used to work at a call center for a division of Asurion that provides service and replacement plans for general merchandise from almost 300 retailers. Know how you always get asked if you want a plan for certain electronics at Walmart? That was us. We worked in the computer help desk. My work bestie (who I'm still close to) happened to be a black lady (relevant) from Chicago, so she definitely has a little bit of the Chicago "don't have any fucks to give."
Standard procedure for pretty much any call center is to get your customer's name up front so you know what to call them. Customer failed this very basic interaction in the worst way. The exchange was basically as follows:
Friend: May I have your name please?
Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises.
Friend: Thanks. Could I just get your name please?
Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises.
Friend: Again, thank you, sir, but so that I can address you during this call, may I please have your own name?
Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises.
And this is where her demographics became relevant. Her Chicago kicked in, and...
Friend: (with a hint of sarcasm) Thank you, Mr Enterprises.
Guy: Are you black?
Now extra irritated friend:.. .... ...... Excuse me?
Guy: hangs up
This was also a rare slow time on the phones for us, so most of us were not on calls. This also means it was relatively quiet, so a lot of us could hear the exchange. We snickered at "Mr Enterprises" but when we heard him ask about her blackness, several people scooted back a little on the off chance all 5'2" of her came out of her chair and tried to shove her keyboard through the phone and down his throat. Even better, our phone system had a "feature" that call backs would rout to the last agent you spoke with, in case a call dropped or they needed to call back, as long as the agent was available. He called back 3 times and just hung up every time she answered.
I work at a large chain store in Idaho. I had a woman once, with three or so kids come through my line and they were being rowdy, as children do. About half-way through the transaction and her yelling at her children she turns to me and says jokingly "do you want a couple kids?"
Me: "Well, I'm not allowed to have pets in my apartment, sooo..."
Thankfully, she thought it was funny. I apologized anyway.
I was fundraising for the Republican Party back in 09. I had a gentleman on the phone who was upset with the Republican party and was hesitant to donate after how bad things went with George Bush. I switched my normal hardline tone that was working with most republicans to something more moderate. I managed to get him to agree to donate. He said something along the lines of, "I hope we can get things turned around, get this economy going again", etc. I responded with, "oh we will sir, with your support we will be able to do some real damage in the upcoming elections. Knew I blew it as soon as I said it. The gentleman said, "we arent trying to do damage, we are trying to do something good. I apologized and tried to explain it being a figure of speech, but he was already turned off and decided not to donate.
For the record, im not a republican. I was just paid to fundraise for right wing political organizations. Im sorry.
Mudgeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you did a lot of good for the Democrats while you were doing this. So I wouldnโt sweat it get paid man.
I called a female customer "sir" one time. In my defense it looked like a man from behind (I was a cashier at the time, trying to call her over to a register)
Worked 2 years in retail and 5 years in food. Currently manage a food spot and this is the go to line because I refuse to say sir or ma'am or mention someone being pregnant lmao
Edit: I forgot the "/"
Hewfe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a manager at a pizza delivery place, having one of those days where everything goes wrong. Iโm working the line, and a Coworker is taking a phone order when something tiny set me off.
I grabbed the nearest thing, a bottle of butter for the crust, and hurled it down the line in to a wall while yelling โfuck this job!โ at full volume.
Guy placing his order heard that, and was like โyou know what? I think Iโm good.โ And hung up the phone.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not with a customer, but a co-worker mentioned something about hair care to me and I said "No offense, but you're black and your hair is different than mine so that probably wouldn't work." (I'm white and do NOT have curly hair)
Co-worker was really offended because apparently her family was from Latin America, and then asked me how I could have possibly thought she was black. She has dark almond-shaped eyes, a broad nose, and an AAVE accent (which, in my area, is almost exclusively heard from blacks. I think I've only heard maybe 5 non-blacks in my lifetime with that accent and dialect).
I told her this and she had no idea what an AAVE accent was. I tried my best to describe it without crudely imitating the accent because I knew it would sound offensive if I did. I even mentioned some celebrities that had it and she still didn't understand.
Finally I said, "Well.... sometimes people call it a 'ghetto' accent, but that's a really stupid and racist name because it's common in a lot of areas. That's the only other name I've heard it called, though."
She went straight to the managers and told them that I said she "looked black and sounded ghetto."
I STILL have no idea how else I could have described it to her...
Not a customer, but I remember I started shoving a co-worker in the backroom who had been bothering me for the better part of the year, the inner rage gangster specter possessed me, "This what you want huh? What are you going to do? What, huh? What? Try something, bitch!" He was getting shoved into boxes, I was kicked/pushing him when he tried to get to his feet to keep him off balance. All the while my heart was bouncing in my chest like a bouncy ball chucked by an MLB pitcher into a phone booth. My mind was saying, Oh my god, you're fighting at work. You can be fired. You're going to get fired! You might even get worse than that.
Instead, the guy's hands went up over his face. "Hey...hey...HEY...cool it, man, cool it..okay?" Then he got up, looked at me for a second, and we quietly got back to work. He never reported it, and he acted perfectly cordial towards me the entirety we knew each other after that.
In my teens i had a job at an IT and small electrical goods support center. Being a nerdy teenage only child male I had no experience wth the opposite sex. One fine day a customer called me in tears about her broken computer and i advised that she should eat some icecream, watch a RomCom and call me back when she was feeling better.
She then asked to speak to my manager who then gave me a written warning and an akward talk about how to relate to the opposite sex in a professional manner.
About 2008, working at McDonald's. They had me on the register. A guy comes in and asks for a Double Quarter Pounder meal, super sized. I told him "I can get you a large, but Super Size has been discontinued".
He asks, "When they'd do that?"
I said "About... three years ago? It was on the news. Leno and Letterman made jokes about it."
He responded with a look of blank incomprehension. I continued, "It was after Morgan Spurlock made that movie, Super Size Me. Where he ate only McDonald's for 30 days, and took super size whenever it was offered." Still a blank look. "And it almost killed him, the grease and salt in our food just about shut down his liver, and he could have died. Total PR nightmare. You hear about that?" Blank. Incomprehension. "I probably shouldn't have said that last part, about our food killing people, huh? Like I shouldn't have said that out loud. Not when you're trying to order that food. That was a bad, huh?" Just a blank stare. "So...large Double Quarter Pounder meal, that sound good? I can make that happen. It's gonna be [sum of money]".
And that was another entry on the long list of Crap That Didn't Get Me Fired From McDonald's. They put up with a lot of my shenanigans because I showed up every day I was scheduled and didn't randomly wander off from my assigned station to play on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a bartender and a group of guys come in and order some fruity martinis. I ask if their husbands will be joining them... They were not amused and complained to management. Still don't regret it!
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During a parent/teacher conference, I was explaining why I didn't have too many grades I'm social studies. I explained that I'm today's world of education, social studies is the "red-headed step child." The student we were meeting about was actually a red-headed step child. Oops.
Had a discussion with my wife once where we made fun of various scent names... apparently thinking out loud about that conversation while at work is not something people appreciate.
I was approaching an incredibly obvious gay couple and the entire walk to them I thought "man those are a couple of super gay dudes". So I finally get to them and say VERBATIM "Hey, Can I help you gays GUYS! with anything?" I yelled "guys" after saying gays only making it that much more obvious. They were cool about it, but I thought I was for sure getting fired.
I was working at a call center for a major cellular phone provider and I was still in training. I updated a customer's account and they realized they were getting a discount for something and they asked if I put it on there, and I reply, 'oh no! You get that for being a badass customer!"
one of my trainers looked at me so weird but the customer thought it was funny
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a customer, I was a patient on a hospital. And my cute gastroenterologist wanted to check inside my uranus for the second time after painfully fingering it few days ago. I jokingly told her "is that your fetish?", to the shock of the assistant doctor, I instantly regretted it.
I hope she didn't hear it as she was looking somewhere else when I said it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:54 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was the customer, but I shit-talked a restaurant once inside the restaurant as the waitress was coming up. Really, my comment was just about how my mother hates it and how it got bad reviews.
The waitress and I just stared.
Apkoha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a movie theater and was working box office where we sell tickets. The box office is outside and it was the winter time, however we have a heater in the box office so we don't freeze in our short-sleeved uniforms. Well, when it's cold outside and warm inside, the tiny hole where we exchange money and tickets creates suction in towards me.
Everyone comments on it, and I must have been in a bad mood, because when this woman just drops her twenty on the counter expecting it to stay there, it flies in into my chest and falls to the ground. She proceeds to say something stupid like "Woah it's like a vacuum in there! Trying to get all our money!" I decided to take this opportunity to tell her about the hot/cold and how it creates a vacuum and then I said "Yea, that's how science works." She was kind of dumbfounded and was thinking of something to say, I just interrupted "Enjoy the movie!"
I worked at a college bookstore for a while. During rental returns, I was checking a girl's books in and I recognized her name from a mutual friend on Facebook.
I wad like "hey you're Natalie's roommate, right?" and she was immediately caught off guard and said yes. I continued with "I recognized your name from Facebook."
That didn't seem to help, she was kinda weirded out the whole time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Greeting them cheerfully and telling them I'm there to help, then they actually want me to help them, then they don't buy anything.
I'm not allowed to talk to most of my clients because I don't get regrets like that.
neBneT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a Midwesterner, I'd like to commend you on your correction. While we all say Meijers in conversation, you can't let outsiders in on that secret. I just wanted to say thanks for representin'. I tip my Whiskey and Vernor's to you, sir/ma'am ๐ป
Guy screamed in "I-just-did-a-bunch-of-meth-ese," pulled out one of those serrated kitchen bread knives and started for me. I found out that a fat guy can -really- move when he's scared, as I ended in in the back room before I knew it.
To explain: I was, at the time, working at a Wal Mart Grocery store. Despite not being in a bad neighborhood, after dark it seemed the only people we had around were junkies, lowlifes, creepy folk and similar.
Working in water damage restoration, customer forgot he shut his sump pump off and came home to a basement full of water. We show up, take a look around, get the paperwork started, and he asks for an estimate.
I'm still pretty new to this job, and I want to help the guy out so I add everything up I've got so far and it's about $1100. I mention this isn't how much it's going to be, just what I have so far.
After getting all the water extracted and equipment set up, we leave and my coworker does the math on equipment costs per day of drying. $750/day with a minimum of 3 days to dry.
My heart dropped. Total job cost was $3700. No more estimates for me!
Petwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a consultant to check with his client for an issue because โyour client should have completed the basic training and thus be able to walk you through this process.โ
I was working dealing with repossessed cars (determining if customers could get it back, getting the car valued, prepped for sale, lotted to auction, authorising sales etc).
Had a total douchebag of a customer making all sorts of demands and telling me what I will & won't be doing. Tried explaining to him that he wasn't in a position to make such ridiculous demands as I could just say no & be done with him.
He carried on and then stopped & asked why I wasn't responding. Stupidly said "you know the saying, we don't negotiate with terrorists? I don't need to negotiate with you". he got a tad offended.
Told an irate customer who was proclaiming that they were going to make a complaint to head office. to "make sure they explain the entire situation, not just the bits that make it sound better, oh and say hi to <Higher Up Manager's name> for me, not seen him in a while, nice bloke."
I used to work in a coffee shop/bakery when I was 19. One typical day, we had a line of waiting customers going all the way out the door. The woman I was trying to help looked like she was on the verge of full panic mode. She said, "OMG. There's a fly in the bakery case!!!" I said, "Well, taking it out now won't change the fact that it's been in there for awhile. Want something else?" She was pissed.
I work at a grocery store and see alot of different customers. So this one day, a customer walks in and I thought he looked familiar (he looked alot like this customer from last night) so after chatting for a minute or two, I ask him what he wants. He tells me, and I start on the order. I ask him if he was the guy from the night before. He says no, (obviously, thinking he was just joking) I respond with "must be another handsome guy" he stared at me for a little bit. Got his food and left. One of my bosses looks at me and I say ''that's how you do it''she starts laughing really hard and tells me of a customer (both my boss and customer overheard what I said) who was questioning if I was gay after I said that.
Answered a bunch of questions about an expensive collectible and wanted to give the customer a minute to think about it. Intended to say, โIf you have any more questions, donโt hesitate to ask.โ
Coworker told me after the customer walked I said, โIf you have any more questions, donโt bother to ask.โ
I was walking my route one day as a mailman, and I was on the phone with a fellow carrier talking about politics and such because it helps make the day go quicker. I was repeating to him some crazy racist thing I heard on the radio that morning, and I even prefaced it by saying I should be careful repeating this, since if someone heard me they will be offended. Right after I finished saying it I walked around the corner and literally the only black woman who lives on my route was there. I tried to explain to her that I was just repeating something I couldn't believe I heard on the radio, but she just gave me a dirty look, and has given me the stinkeye since.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally called an old lady sir to her face. She lost it and told my manager.
I've posted this before, but way back when I was working in an electronics store just out of high school, this guy with glasses in my section walked toward me, motioned me to "come here" with his finger, and turned up the aisle toward boomboxes/stereos. I helped him out and everything, and then I had to open my mouth and say "The next time you need help, just call me by my name. It's right on my nametag." He apologized, then apparently ran right to the store manager to rat me out. After getting my statement on what happened, I was fired two days later.
Less said, and more did. In high school, I was closing down the store (Subway) at the end of the night and had a fellow coworker with me (not on clock, in street clothes). A customer came up to the locked door and asked to get a sandwich. It was 15 mins. past closing and everything was put away. I denied him and he and wasnโt happy and gave a nasty look to my coworker, thinking he was a customer. He backed out and I thought pulled away (dark out, poorly lit parking lot). I was joking with my coworker and said I should have pulled the clock off the wall pointed at it and laughed. But I actually did this to show how I would do it. We heard a screech of brakes. The guy jumped out of his van, pounded on the door, yelled โfuck youโ and sped off into the night. We were so shook up we thought this dude would come back and wait for us to leave, so my coworker took off immediately and told me โgood luck.โ The pissed off look on that dudes face for me mocking him had me scared to leave, but thankfully never saw him again.
When I was working third shift at a gas station, we had a machine where people could redeem points they'd earned for free sodas and such. Around midnight, the machine had gone down (note that it was very clearly not working), but I hadn't gotten around to putting an out of service sign on it yet.
A guy came in at 4AM to redeem his points to get something, and when I saw him going towards the machine, I told him the machine was down, to which he replied that I should put an out of service sign on it. I told him I was getting around to doing it, but I was really busy at the moment (4AM is when I had to start making coffee and hotdogs, and also when it started to get busy). He said again that I should put a sign on it so people knew it wasn't working, and I told him that I would as soon as I was done.
As he was leaving, he said something along the lines of "If you can't do your job, you shouldn't work here", to which I replied "If you can't not be an asshole, maybe you shouldn't come here"
I used to work at a bookstore that sold a lot of "gift" (ie non-book) stuff. We got a call from a woman who asked if these vases she wanted had been put on hold. I checked and could not find them. I asked her what she was looking for, looked all around the store for them and still could not find the vases. I told the customer this (sometimes stuff shows up as "in stock" in our system when it's really not) and then this woman started to get really aggressively angry. I'm usually good at keeping my cool but then the woman said "I'll report you to the head office" and I said "You're welcome to" and then hung up. I got some shit from my manager later when the woman called back and I never again lost my temper like that.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was making a delivery to a mechanic, there's an SUV on the lift that's obviously been in a serious accident. I made some joke about "that'll buff right out" or something, the guy tells me a lady died in the accident.
I was 18 bussing tables at a steakhouse. A customer asked me if I had tried the new Ethiopian restaurant down the road. I said, "I don't like dirt". It was insensitive to say the least.
I was closing my drive thru Starbucks one night, and I was the only one on the floor. Our headsets have a mode that allow us to just talk to other employees wearing headsets. My supervisor was in the back doing money stuff, and we were talking about asshole customers. This really nice lady came in so I paused to take her order. I started up the conversation again and mentioned something about coming in right before closing and I said โwell I try not to be rude and come in in like the last hour before closingโ. I thought I was being quiet enough and I meant when going to a sit-down restaurant, but the lady didnโt hear that. She didnโt say anything to me but I could tell she heard and she was hurt. I feel bad about it because she was very polite and patient.
Doing telemarketing for a cancer charity. Had a call to a person named Ward. She was kind of snippy and rude and I said โaww, was Ward a little hard on the Beaver last night?โ
Had a 911 caller who was just all over the place and not listening to anything I said and wasn't even having an emergency, just reporting two women that were walking up to the houses in the area and no one was home; his concerns were legit, as there had been a lot of package thefts in the area, but he was an asshole and kept cutting me off when I asked him something and wouldn't let me get a word in. This was especially annoying, as our center had gotten reamed from admin because our call time stats were abysmal. To top it all off, he was a white guy and kept referring to them as colored and as bitches.
Eventually, I asked him, "please stop using racist language, sir."
I shouldn't have said that. This annoyed him and he said he wasn't racist. I told him that I didn't say he himself was racist, just his language was offensive to me. He got quiet and I was able to get the info my officers were sending me notes about. He later called and complained to my supervisor, and they were both in agreement that I shouldn't have lectured him so I was officially written up and it's in my employee file.
When I was working at subway and a customer asked for 1/2 a foot long and I immediately replied without hesitation or thought, I have your six inches right here. Instantly I regretted saying it, and the customer was taken back and said, What the fuck did you just say to me"? I said I was sorry and that I'm just as shocked as you...he literally left cussing me out saying I should watch who I fuck with.
I can help you sir!!!! It was a woman...... She didn't look like a man, I was in a repetitive mode ringing people up at the register. I didn't even really look up when I said it. Her expression was priceless.
I had this lady just going off about how her bill wasn't correct and she kept yelling despite my repeated attempts to calm her down. I followed the script on how to handle a difficult customer. Then she goes why should I stop yelling...and for whatever reason I blurted "Yelling at me won't help me hear you or understand you better."
Well, it was a test call for the center to see how we we're doing. It got played in front of all my co-workers and boss. Co-workers loved it, boss wasn't very happy. Lol
cmad182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little late but here goes:
I worked at petrol stations when I was younger, had a pretty bad night dealing with shoplifters and what not.
About 10:30pm, not long after kicking some kids out for stealing chocolate bars, this old guy comes in. Really cranky look on his face.
I greet him as I always do, politely. No response.
A lady and her daughter come in not long after him, I greet them the same way and get a reply along the same lines.
Old guy comes up to the counter with a tub of ice cream.
โJust that?โ I ask. Nothing.
As I finish his transaction, the lady and daughter are waiting in line behind him.
With a huge serving of sarcasm, I announce to the old dude โyou have a great night mateโ and he just glared at me and walks off.
โSome peopleโ I say to the lady before serving her.
โThatโs my dad, heโs just had a stroke and canโt talkโ is her reply.
I've posted this before but once when i was tending bar I was serving a couple that was very... affectionate with each other. The woman was all over her date to the point where it was uncomfortable for me. She also took initiative on ordering everything. During the course of the evening she mentioned that they were gearing up for Halloween and that their costume was going to be a double- decker with her as a ventriloquist and him as her dummy. For NO REASON AT ALL, I said,
"Are you going to shove your fist up his ass and make believe he's speaking for himself?"
alslas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer left merchandise the night before and I waited until the next day torwards the end of my shift to put all of the merchandise away, of course an hour later she calls. I tell her that I put her merchandise away but I remember everything that she left so Iโll just pick everything up and put it at the service desk for her, no biggie right? Wrong.
She starts yelling at me asking why I put her stuff away, That I was so rude and a horrible person I then asked her,
Well why did you leave your stuff here in the first place.
She was not a happy camper.
When I was young occasionally I would use the joke "I'm sorry, is this person bothering you?" When people were obviously a couple. I made the mistake of doing this joke with an interracial couple once and the guy immediately made it a race thing. Most uncomfortable moment of my life so far and all I could do was laugh in a very loud uncomfortable manner.
SARS11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but an employee said it to me. A friend and I were doing a day trip to go snowboarding in the mountains, stopped at McDonald's so I could get a coffee.
We pull up to the window and the girl says "Did you say 2% or skim milk?"
I'm like "Uhh you didn't ask."
Her response "Well shit!"
We had a good laugh. And in her defense it WAS 4 in the morning.
I work in a tire shop. When putting the wheels and tires back on the vehicle you need to do something called "torquing" which is just the last little turn after bolting them on. Each manufacturer has their own specific pounds of torque for their vehicles and this number is show on our paper work.
So now that back story is done. Just today my guys were finishing on a car and asked what the torque was. I went to go look and noticed the paper work was gone, and realized our coordinator took it before we could get the number. So we start messing around and start suggesting stupid numbers to each other I then said "oh go ahead and do that then bud, we'll see when the customers wheels go flying off on the hwy going 90" I then turn around to the now horrified customer who was watching from the parking lot.......
I worked at a food truck, and this customer came up and asked if the wings were any good.
When I'm tired and exhausted at work Im usually at my best with customers because im at the point of not giving a fuck and i stop over thinking, so i come up with some 'edgy-er' jokes. Sometimes my coworker or boss would also add on.
So anyway, I tell her "I'm paid to say the food here is good", I'm hoping the customer would laugh it off and appreciate my dry ass humour. She just stares back at me indecisively if she wants them still, and thats when I realise my boss is standing right next to me unamused. I try laugh it off but neither of them were taking the bait.
A lady whose husband had died in Colorado was being looked after there by the โMile High Funeral Homeโ until we made arrangements to have him brought home. While on the phone with her, she said something about โisnโt the mile high club where you have sex on a plane?โ And I replied without thinking โIโm really glad weโre bringing his body back, thenโ. Luckily she thought it was hilarious, because Iโd have fired me.
12 years ago, working in valet at a casino. I was walking back to the drop off area after parking a car when a customer stopped me and started gibbering at me in full on Spanish. I had to try a few times before he stopped talking and actually heard me say that I don't speak Spanish.
He immediately gets visibly angry and says, in absolute perfect English, no accent even, "What do you mean you don't speak Spanish?! You live in southern California and you don't speak Spanish?! What the hell is wrong with you?"
To which I replied almost immediately and with an equal amount of anger "well SIR, last time I checked, California was still in AMERICA"
He started sputtering and stormed off, I figured he'd be complaining to a manager, but I never heard anything about it so... cool? I guess?
No actually words, but I worked in a call center and my mind drifted as a frustrated customer was ranting. Not unusual except that what I was day dreaming of was a blowjob I had received recently.... So while the customer continued to rant I let out a soft moan... The customer stopped talking and I immediately realized my mistake. Had to snap back into customer service mode and appeased the customer with some empathy and bill credits.
My substitute teacher like one standing right beside me as my friend says I should be a teacher while I say no there's not really a market for teaching anymore
So up until last January I was working a part time job at a used video game and movie store to supplement the household income a bit. 2 days a week, but I loved my coworkers and I got to be around nerdy stuff all day.
We had a lot of kids come through, obviously, and I would try to be friendly with the kids and parents whenever I could. A kid brought up a Naruto game to buy and I engaged in conversation.
Me: I've never watched Naruto before, is it any good?
I pronounced it "nah-roo-toe."
The child, in true child fashion corrected me.
"it's pronounced 'nara-toe.'"
Well, fuck me right?
Later on in the day, another child was purchasing a Naruto game with his mom. When he approached, I said "how do you pronounce that?" still thinking about how kids know more about it than me.
I looked up when his mom started explaining what the word actually meant and realized... They're Asian.
Oh crap.
After the customers left, my coworkers all died laughing and I curled into a racist ball.
not me but my coworker. a guy in a wheelchair comes to check in at our motel, for some reason my coworker takes the guy and put him in a luggage cart and said " just hang around i'm going to see something" and leaves him hanging there w/ a wtf look on his face. Idk what my coworker was thinking but the guy seemed to get that he wanted to help him and then my coworker pushed him in the cart to his room like he was a suitcase.
I was a cashier at an electronics store and i was checking out some guy. When I checked his id it said a womans name. I asked him if it was his wife's card because I can't take it if he doesn't have an id. He replied "I didnt choose my name"... it was so awkward the rest of the transaction.
I literally had a Michael Scott moment. Woman called in needing to change some stuff due to a last name change. Me, trying to form a teeny customer bond, go โOh congratulations, recent wedding?โ
It was the opposite, marriage had just ended.
lkoz590 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT taking phone calls at a service desk. One day this younger lady calls in, she's new to the company and had a pretty simple problem. I believe it was a password reset or something similar but I'm a bit hazy on the details. Anyway, I set her up and make sure she can log in. She does, says thank you and I respond with "Your welcome! I hope you never call again!"
I work at Chick-fil-a. One time I customer commented "Wow you're losing a lot of weight." because I had not changed my lifestyle at all I thought it would be funny to go "Eh, worst case scenario I have diabetes." This was not a good response, her jaw dropped and she went completely silent. To try to save face I said "I'm just kidding I don't have diabetes... well probably not I haven't been to the doctors in a few years."
I kept telling clients when I first started doing IT that something would take "X" amount of time, or person Y would get to them in "X" amount of time.
Horrible, horrible practice.
karter0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My job is to call prospective high school students and parents for our university and ask them a few questions about what theyโre interested in so we can send them information. One time I was talking to this parent who was apparently pissed off at his son and when I asked him what kind of things his son was interested in he said โhe doesnโt do anything but sit around and get drunk with his buddiesโ (not sure why heโd say that to a college but thatโs beside the fact). For some reason I was not the slightest bit phased by this and I immediately replied with โso you think he might be interested in joining a fraternity or something?โ without thinking. His dad laughed. I laughed.
One time I was working drive through at a wendys and handing out drinks. There were 2 and the guy asked which one was which. One was a fruitopia and one was a cola looking pop, but I couldn't remember which one specifically so I just went "well they're different colours" and walked away
Served a guy in a wheelchair and he asked for a certain product so I replied: "let's go for a walk to find it"... I still remember the look of disgust of his face.
At a drive-in movie theater, customers would regularly ask for the "child's price ticket" for their adult spouse/SO. This was usually a joke, but sometimes they would get insistent, so I started shutting that down with a, "Sorry, ticket pricing is based on physical age, not mental age."
Although I never got in trouble for that comment, it did get awkward one time when a lady asked for a child ticket for the passenger. I glanced at the passenger, gauged her to be the adult friend of the woman, so I laughed it off and said the usual bit. We went a few more rounds of her saying she wanted one child and one adult ticket, and me laughing and saying "Two adult tickets is $18." Eventually it became clear the lady was NOT joking - apparently the passenger was her 9 year-old, post-pubescent daughter, who proceeded to rattle off her birthdate to me as I tried not to look too stunned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a waiter. If people brought their dogs they could order them a grilled chicken breast and rice.
I forgot to put in a ladies dogs order, and she asked whatโs taking so long. I immediately said they dropped the chicken breast and theyโre making a new one. She looked at me and said, โitโs for a dog itโs going right back on the floorโ
In the hotel i used to work at we used to show first time guests up to their rooms.
I some how ended up showing this repeat guest up to her room and introducing the room to her (again). After i'd finished i saw her rooting around in her wallet. I saw her rooting around for a while so i helpfully piped up
'Oh theres a $20 behind there"
instant regret when she dutifully handed over the aforementioned bill.
fairly sure that lead to a review on tripadvisor that the hotel staff wouldn't leave the room without a tip.
mine isnโt that bad but iโm a waiter and this grumpy old couple was at my throat the whole meal. i was working at a corporate chain that had a rewards program. to apply the visit, you need the phone number on the account. this old couple handed me a ragged looking coaster with their phone number on it. i went and put in the number and threw out the coaster. when i went back they asked for the coaster. i was confused and apologized that i had thrown out the coaster. they went ape shit on me. they acted like i threw out their credit card or some shit. after listening to it and apologizing profusely i finally just said โiโm sorry that you wanted a nasty ass coaster back.โ i walked away. they told my manager. i got sent home. whatever.
To a coworker โsheโs kind of a bitchโ when I thought the customer had left the building. She hadnโt. She came back to the counter and demanded to know what I said. I told her I just really didnโt like my mom (which is very accurate) since my mom spent the last three months poisoning me.
A customer asked about our salad options, because she was trying to lose weight for the summer. I was in that fully automatic zombie mode and my small talk didn't quite come out right... I said to her "Yeah, it's good for you to try!"
I don't remember exactly what I said, but I accidentally drew attention to how overweight a customer was and they were IMMEDIATELY and obviously very wounded. They didn't say anything, but I felt so awful.
I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, but I'm inept and have foot-in-mouth disease like crazy.
I worked with a volunteer that applied for a position to be on my team. At the time, I was all for it, but after I heard how his phone interview went, I realized why he wouldn't work out there. After a hire was made, but before it was announced, I accidentally let slip "Hey did you hear..." very excitedly before I caught myself.... "Umm nevermind I can't remember."
When I used to wait tables our restaurant had a bottomless soup and salad deal.
A couple of regulars came in, I forgot what the guy had but the lady had the soup and salad. She ate 2 salads and 2 bowls of soup, then asked for another soup, but a new flavor. I asked if she wanted a bowl or a cup of soup. She said "What?" I repeated my question. Nope she understood the question, but asked me "why?" I said "because you've already eaten so much" and "I just didn't eat to waste the soup if you didn't want too much more"
They asked for the manager. I asked if I could help them. They said no, just the manager. I proceeded to tell him "hey, my table wants a manager"
"Do you know why? Are they upset?"
"No idea. I don't think so"
Turns out I offended them/her, I had no idea until my manager explained it to me. They never returned.
Movie theater employee here, I have a small inventory of canned phrases I use that typically get a laugh out of guests, sometimes they don't go over so well.
For example, our large drink, after tax, comes out to $6.66. This can be a bit of an ordeal for some guests, and I don't really have the patience (especially when there's a huge fucking line of people behind them) to deal with the fidgeting that people do in response to learning their total when all they get is a drink.
So, the go-to is always
"Your total is $6.66"
Typically, the response is "oh man, that's not a good number"
to which I typically respond "don't worry, no reported curses or anything, I'm sure you'll be alright"
this usually gets a chuckle and we can both move on with our lives.
Some people will get a bit frantic and say "oh man, I gotta grab something else!!! What's the cheapest thing you have?"
"bottle of water, $3.99".
This usually ends the transaction.
One older woman though looked highly concerned after getting her satanic total, so I used my typical "no curses reported" line, and she got fairly offended and said "no need to be rude"
As if I was in the wrong because she was convinced she was engaging in some sort of heresy by buying a fucking large drink
A mother was very concerned for her kids nut allergy (understandably so but would remind me a 100 times). She ordered him the spinach. There were white specs in it. She screamed at me asking what that was and I panicked and said pine nuts.
I was recently hosting a conference with state wide colleagues. I work in mental health which is largely female dominated at present. We've had bad weather and flu has been rampant regionally. As such, I had a lot of people either cancel for the conference or do a call in to the meeting due to sick kids and such. The closer we got, probably half the women opted to call in due to having sick kids.
We were going along pretty well, and after a break a couple of hours into the meeting, we did a role call to make sure everyone was back. I had a couple new moms report they were going to have to cut out early so they could do this or that because of their kids. Off the cuff, I just said .... "Ah, you women and your babies". Didn't mean it derogatory at all but I might as well have just confessed to being a pedophile in front of all of them. Didn't find it funny at all. Spent the rest of the conference wondering which would make a complaint and try and have me fired.
I used to work as a groomer at Petco. I was dealing with an angry guy on the phone who wanted to get his dog groomed asap. He claimed he was trying to call all week and "no one answered", to which i replied "I find that really hard to believe."
He yelled incoherently for a few seconds and then hung up.
I had a drunk guy come up arguing the price of his bill and he went through and said "two and fifteen and fourteen is thirty-one not thirty five!" So i replied with "wel you see after the first numbers there's .99 so that's actually three sixteen and fifteen which does add up to thirty four"
I didn't really think it was that bad but my Manager wasn't too thrilled
The definite yes one happened when some guy came in and complained about the price of our chocolate bars. He was making a huge scene in front of loads of people about how our chocolate bars were $1.50 (fucking cheapskate). I told him, "You don't have to buy it here, you could always go somewhere else". I knew I shouldn't have said it the moment it left my mouth, but I also knew that if I didn't say it all the way through I would sound dumb. His reaction was to glare at me as if I had shit my pants in front of him. He then told me, "Thanks for giving me the fucking option, but if I wanted to go somewhere else I would have" and put down his two bucks for the chocolate bar. My face was red.
The "almost" one happened after I carded a guy for smokes. He straight up started threatening me, saying things like, "You must be so proud of your job" and "You're going to be so embarrassed when you see my ID". He even got right close to me at one point as he was talking to me, as if he was going to intimidate me, talking about how rich and successful he was compared to me and how I was going to end up lonely and sad for the rest of my life because I had the gall to work such a menial job. That's when I started to say, "If I wasn't behind this counter I'd flatten you right now", but I only got to "If I wasn't behind this counter..." before catching myself threatening him back. He responded with, "What? You'd let me buy smokes?". I still made him go get his ID. I should have just told him to leave. I still get mad about it.
On a funnier note, this one wasn't me but a podcast. I've been getting into the habit of listening to How Did This Get Made? at work, but I only put it on late at night (usually around 9:30 or so) when customers aren't coming in as often. I was listening to the Jason X episode (people who have heard this one might know where this is going). I doing my last bit to clean up the store when a customer comes in. I'm away from my phone so I can't turn down the volume, and that's the exact time Jason Mantzoukas made his joke about Jason Voorhees being able to smell jizz. I practically ran behind the counter to turn down the volume and apologized profusely to the customer. Luckily he was actually really cool about it and wanted to know what podcast I was listening to, so bullet dodged (I think).
I don't think I shouldn't have said it, I'm actually kinda proud it happened but, back when World of War-crack.... err Warcraft was big and the first expansion, Wrath of the Lich King was about to release, we would get customer calls asking about the game. It was the day before release and I had just overheard the general manager and the sales manager of the store talking about doing a midnight release. They decided since we had only just opened less than a year ago, we didn't have the foot traffic to justify a midnight release, so we wouldn't be having one. Not five minutes later I get a call (it's like 8:30 and we close at 9) asking if we had the game and I said that we would and it would be purchasable on release day. She then asks if we're having a midnight release for the game. I said "I'm sorry ma'am, my managers were just discussing that and we won't be having a midnight release tonight".
Now when she said the next thing, I was kinda stunned and I don't know how I was able to retort so fast but she literally asked "Do you know if any competitors are going to be having a midnight release?" "You WANT to wake up in the middle of the night to get your game you won't play until morning?"
Yeah... I said that. But the reaction to it is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard, it was high pitched, witchlike, I think she got possessed for a moment "JUST FORGET IT!" click. I swear, she sounded like a Velociraptor.... I couldn't make this up. Having just been hung up on, I then clicked off the phone and went about my night. Never got in trouble for it.
I meant to say something was a "pain in the butt" and instead said "pain in the balls". The customer was a woman. Her gaze bore a hole into me until I'd paid for my crime. To this day I have no idea what made me say that.
masibro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of similar but yeah...
Calling some company: "Hello this is xyz, Dave speaking"
Masibro: "Oh hey man, I'm masibro and I'm calling from ABC, how're you doing?"
Dave: "Better than you masibro....how may I help you?"
An employee of mine was disciplined when he picked up a customer and scared her. She asked if he was there to drive her back to the branch...he responded with "yes...or to be my next victim."
Iโm a server at a pizza restaurant, and this one table was really getting on my nerves. She would mumble very quietly, not respond to questions, whatever. I get their order out, and she starts claiming that the pizza isnโt cut. I can physically see the lines where it is cut (and watched them cut it in the kitchen), so I told her that it was indeed cut. She proceeded to yell some more, saying the customer is always right. So I just grabbed a slice and lifted it. It fell right out of place, because it was CUT! Now, Iโve never EVER touched a customers food before but she just had me over the edge.
I am a nurse (was in ER nursing at the time). Do you know what priapism is? If you do, you will know why it is not a great idea to lead off a conversation with "Hi, so what's up?" (Equally bad "so I hear you have had a hard day").
I work at a Registrarโs taking papers from students. One day we had a big line and this guy in the middle grabs his buddy by the arm and shoved past everyone. He sort of tossed his friend toward the counter and said โWe have been waiting in line for like, ten minutes. This is ridiculous, we have to be helped.โ
And I replied with โYeah itโs hard to learn patience. How can I help?โ
I worked at a popular pizza place in a town that had a decently large population of homeless people.
A guy with a bike came in one day and asked if I could give him change. He wasn't dressed very nicely, and I automatically assumed he was asking for money. I told him I'm sorry, I can't give him any change.
He clarified that he needed coins instead of bills and I said I could give him change. As I was doing it, he was staring at me and asked why I had said no. I felt terrible, but I didn't want to tell him I thought he was a homeless person begging for money.
Working at best buy, happened to be up front as cashier. Had a pretty long line, and I see some kind of douchy looking older man fumbling around the area where you would come out of the checkout, not into the line. He comes over to me and very rudely interrupts me checking out someone else to ask where he goes to checkout (hint: it's very easy to figure out what's going on at best buy, especially when there is a line of customers to guide you)
So I pointed to him where the line started. He rudely stomped around into it. A few minutes later and it's his turn to be checked out, and of course I get him.
He walks up and rudely says to me, "you know, you guys should really have a sign for where the checkout is"
So I very sarcastically say back: "well everyone else figured it out just fine."
He then started to throw some fit about what he was paying for when I promoted him to swipe his card, when I told him it was on the screen and that he could look at it he kept saying like, "oh I don't know what you're scanning over there!"
And I just kept saying dude I scanned the items you gave me, you JUST saw me do this.
Told my supervisor โThank god youโre here. Now you can deal with herโ in front of a lousy excuse of a customer whoโd just spent 15 minutes berating me for not accepting her return of an item we didnโt even sell.
I was 19 and my self esteem was shit. Screw that lady. Iโd do it again just to see that lovely shade of purple her face became.
So I have one for this, I worked in Electronics at Wal-Mart many years ago while in college. I'm a pretty sarcastic person and enjoy making a funny comment. I generally can get a good read if I enage like that with a customer but guessed wrong on this interaction.
So, Way back in the day Wal-Mart used have these little machines that let you sample select tracks on certain CDs. Now obviously they didn't have every CD loaded.
One day a lady comes up to me and says she can't sample a certain CD and holds it out to me. It was Mercy Me ( I believe a Christian music group) and I told her if it doesn't show up when she scanned the UPC, then it's not available. She proceeds to ask then "How will I know if I like it?" I looked at her and without hesitation said "Ma'am, you'll just have to have faith." I thought it was hilarious but she just gave me a really dirty look and walked off. Still proud of it.
Drewby5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a supermarket at the time. Customer paid with food stamps and he made a comment like "never ends". Jokingly I said "haha yeah like a black card" (in reference to Amex Black card)...customer was black. We both laughed.
I have so many. I work in a restaurant and just kinda spew out words without thinking a lot of the time. One of my most memorable moments is from when I was clearing off the table for the two older women I was waiting on. They had a lot of plates so I started stacking everything to carry it off and one of them makes a comment โOh how can you carry all of that? There are so many dishes.โ This is where a normal person would say โOh Iโve been doing this for a while nowโ, or something to that extent. What I said, thinking I was funny, was โI have a third arm I keep hidden.โ
They blushed. I blushed. We acknowledged the awkwardness, and I walked away without saying anything else.
As I was walking away I could only feel stupid and think about how to rectify the situation. Not only did I just make a joke about my penis to two older women, I lied about itโs size. As I reluctantly brought them the bill, it turns out they thought it was hilarious and made a comment along the lines of โMake sure that third arm gets some good use.โ So thereโs a glimpse into my life.
TLDR2D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bartender. Austin, TX. Known well for the wild (obnoxious) 6th street scene where everyone is drunk, homeless run rampant, and if you're looking for paid sex...well, look no further.
Customer came into my cocktail bar and ordered a beer and a shot (wanna say a Miller Lite and a well vodka) and proceeded to sit at the well and critique every. Fucking. Drink. I. Made. For like 30 minutes. And it was obvious they had no more than a passing knowledge of cocktails.
Finally, exasperated, they criticized again and I snapped.
"I don't come down to 6th street and slap the cock out of your mouth, do I? Stop telling me how to do my job."
I used to work New Brunswick tourism because itโs the only job anyone can get in NB.
I worked the admissions. I had a couple come up to my window and were supposed to ask where people are from for stats and advertising.
So I ask where theyโre from and the husband goes on to tell me about how his wife, beside him, has just gotten back from Korea. So I asked which one?
โSouth of courseโ he said
This was during the Gangam Style phase.
I said โ Oh youโre right, turns to wife you seem happy enough.โ
โBeg your pardon?โ She asked
โWell in the south, the scream at butts, (referencing the Gangam Style video) and in the North, they scream at kids.โ
Wow, I have so many. I worked on the turnpike in fast food for 6 years. One time this colossal jagoff was giving me grief because we werenโt allowed to accept coupons (the fine print at the bottoms explains this, too). I said, โBurger King doesnโt accept coupons eitherโ - to highlight that itโs a turnpike thing and not me being a prick. She said โWELL IโM NOT AT BURGER KING, AM I?โ
Then I explained we are allowed to deny coupons because we are a franchise. She said โWell the one in Century 3 Mall is a franchise and they take coupons all the time.โ So I said: Well we arenโt at Century 3 Mall, are we?
I worked at McDonalds for a combined 4 years, from 19 - 20 & 24 - 26, some of it as a manager. The sheer number of common sense questions you have to field through while trying to be polite is astounding.
I had a woman tell her kids, in front of me as I paid her out, "Remember if you stay in school you won't work in places like this", & without a moment of hesitation replied "I'm putting myself through college by working here", & her shock that I was listening instantly shut her up.
Most customers would complain about the $1 sundaes (which have since gone up, yay inflation) being 'underfilled', & at one point looked at a woman & said "Ma'am... it's a dollar." My manager pulled me aside to talk to me about that one.
I shouldn't have told a customer that she couldn't get cash out as I didn't have enough cash. I informed her that the self serve machines ten steps away had cash, or the ATM at the front of the store, fifteen feet away had cash. Apparently I am rude, disrespectful and should always have cash on the off chance someone needs some.
I worked call centre at a bank. This guy calls in frustrated why he still doesn't have his statement. Two agents before me both have made a mistake and he was right to be angry but there was nothing I could do anymore. He tells me I can F*** myself and how I work a min wage job while he runs a multi million $ business and I don't understand anything. I was honestly still trying to do something for him and while he was going on, I found a solution. While he was apologizing for telling me all those words, I just said: "It was really pleasant to talk to a gentleman as yourself. Please do call us back. It's always my pleasure to take calls like this". It made him feel so bad that I'm still enjoying it.
Worked setting up conference rooms with laptops and such for a country club. Had a local bank bring in their board members for a retreat. I had asked one guy to bring in his laptop early so I could install the software and such he needed to present. He dropped off the laptop then told me he was going to go hit a bucket of balls at the driving range before the meeting. When he came back and greeted me, I responded with, โhey, how were your balls?โ I pretended it was perfectly normal and he gave me a weird look and pretended I didnโt ask the question.
As a supervisor was called over by the cashier to fix something.., was dealing with a customer who's 40% off was only taking off about 20 percent. Mr mathematician pointed out that he was college educated and knew that that was not 40%.. he asks if there's anyway I could take off the other 20% because the cashier obviously fucked up. (She didn't, half of his items were sale items which, as the coupon said, would not be affected by the coupon)
So I tell him sure, let me just double the price and I'll take 40% off for you. He then anxiously waited for me to work my manager magic. I then had to politely explain that I was being an ass and there was nothing further I could do to lower the total.
He told me how unprofessional I was and stormed out.
I used to work for a high-tech database company, but for some reason we couldn't get reliable internet during online demos. I was on a conference call with about eight (8) subscribers when our internet froze up, and instead of hitting the mute button on my phone, I hit the pause button on my screen as I yelled "F*#K!!! at the top of my lungs. Everyone was really quiet as I tried to play it off except one woman that said, "I hate when that happens", but nobody else said a thing.
jereezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer "no offense, but nothing is life is free."
He said "Well I am offended."
I responded "Well it still ain't free."
Kalfu73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a McDonald's back in the late 80s. Worked drive thru a lot and, while I don't know what they use now, but the headsets had two buttons. One was to talk to the customer and one was to talk just to other employees with a headset. We would often mess around on the employee channel including mocking customers but be professional on the other channel. Invariably someone would press the wrong button, and customers would hear the full brunt of our idiocy.
A bit late to the party, but I was serving someone with dwarfism, and he was asking about the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child books we had on display.
He wanted to know if they were first edition because he was a bit of a nerd.
I say "well, you're not the biggest nerd in the store" followed by me turning away and grimacing. Though he either ignored it or didn't even hear it. I was still very conscious of what I said from then on. Pretty cool dude
bam2_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a front end manager at a grocery store. We had really good deals on 4-5 items in our circular on weekends. They were loss-leaders so we had a $10 minimum to use the coupon and get that price.
A cashier had just told a customer about the minimum purchase and she went to me saying "she didn't need some kid telling her she needed to buy $10." I just explained the reason for the policy and she said "I don't always make $10! I live by myself!"
To this I replied "Well I wonder why that could be."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: "this doesn't taste right. Are you sure there's hazelnut in it? It tastes like mocha or something..."
Me: "I am 100 percent sure there's hazelnut in it. I made it."
I'm a barista at Starbucks, and anytime a customer isn't satisfied with their drink, we should offer to remake it so it is to their liking.
Clients are supposed to act as the frontline. We only deal with a select few contacts from a company and require them on the call for any interaction with their group. Client insists over email (outside of ticket system) that I contact one of his companies employees to resolve a problem without him on the call. I responded (via email) by telling him that I'm not his personal outbound helpdesk. Kind of regretted it at the time, and still do, because I could have phrased it better. But come on buddy, do your own job or adhere to the support contract terms.
I used to work as a Front Desk Clerk at a hotel. We had a lot of regulars. One day a man who came about once a month entered the lobby with his bags and I asked him โDo you need a hand sir?โ
Unfortunately this particular guest only had one complete arm. The other was missing a hand...
zasz211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasp helping an Asian woman who seemed to have troubled with English. She wanted to glue a plexiglass pane into a frame and I had told her that using screws would be much better. After about ten minutes of convincing her to use screws I said โ nothing beats a good screwโ, luckily I donโt think she took it the wrong way.
I have a family the comes in to my store to buy pop vinyls and sell them for a profit. It was a crazy Saturday, I had 30+ customers in my store and I was alone. That family hovered over me during all of my interactions with my customers and eventually I told them, "look, I have 30 people in my store, I can't go into the back room and leave my store unattended to maybe find a pop vinyl"
Certainly not as clever as some of the responses here, but they did end up calling corporate.
it was st patrickโs day. i worked in an italian restaurant. i was chatting with a couple about the upcoming holiday and i mentioned my sisterโs boyfriend, who owned an irish pub. i told them how they had 800 pounds of corned beef in the basement in preparation for the festivities. my dumbass goes, โthatโs like 5 people worth of corned beef!โ and woman looks down at her plate, back at me, and says โcan I get this to go, and the check?โ woops
Very loudly said to my work wife, โFuck that bitch!โ followed by rapid fire expletives after a particularly heinous customer walked out, leaving me and her alone on the sales floor. Turns out, we were not alone on the sales floor of our somewhat Christian company. There was an older woman checking accessories very quietly and hidden. I had no idea and immediately started planning unemployment when my coworker pointed her out. But, I knew I was in the clear when the customer responded by saying, โYeah. Fuck her.โ
I was working front desk at a gym, was a lady was leaving from a class a wildfire had broken out recently, and I said "enjoy the smoke!" Like an idiot.
Was falling asleep after lunch listening to a gal drone on about an issue. Like on and on and on. In a support role you usually already know the problem, but some callers just go on and on. Anyways. I zoned the fuck out in a Dream state, and she asked me a question. So i told her to paint me a picture. She said something a long the lines of "WTF" and I snapped out of Dream state and told her what needed to be done.
It's more funny than embarrassing/regretful. I used to work for a now-failing grocery chain. They laid off thousands of department managers, and I was one of them. I was given 3 weeks, which I had to finish in order to receive my severance.
So I was working some freight to the shelves, when a customer asks me if we carry a certain item that we no longer had.
"I'm afraid we discontinued those about 2-3 months ago."
"Well guess I'll have to shop at Publix from now on!!"
"That wouldn't be a bad idea..."
The look on his face was amazing. He had no idea the circumstances, and nothing more was said.
One of my first jobs was working the cash register at Walgreens. A woman came up to me to ask me where a product was located. I didn't know where the product was located and I was helping another customer and didn't want to call for help, so I just made up an answer, "Isle 8." She then said, "Where is isle 8?" My reply: "Next to isle 9."
I was checking out at publix and a family composed of obese parents and an obese child were paying for their purchase in front of me: 4 foot long subs. The cashier says "How come I see 4 sandwiches and only three people?" In a lighthearted way just to make small talk. The family wasn't too amused lol
I was working at a Volkswagen dealership as a technician a few years ago. My stall was on the outside wall of the shop so on summer days some customers would walk up and watch. I was doing the first service on a Jetta and a guy was watching with his little girl. I say โHello.โ He explains that when he was a kid his parents would take him to the auto shop so he could learn about the cars and he wants his daughter to do the same. Without hesitation I sarcastically say โWell good thing you bought a VW.โ He did not find that comment as funny as I did. Nothing came if it but I was super embarrassed as soon as it came out of my mouth.
Today, I saw a customer from behind and said, โIโll be with you in a moment, sir,โ SHE turns around, doesnโt say anything. I was heading to the back to wash my hands anyway, so I kind of hid back there, not knowing how to apologize.
This customer was arguing her discount wasnt adding up right on the computer as a highschool kid who just finished getting an A in algebra I was like no problem pulled out a sheet of paper did the math showed her it worked out double checked it and showed her it made sense. She wasnt having it saying it was wrong. At this point im like I will call a manager. Manager comes over ( i wasnt her favorite person) i tell her the problem show her my math while this lady continues to complain. So when my manager says its right I look the customer dead in the face and say "I'm sorry you cant do simple math" my manager stares at me and goes okay we will give you the more discounted price anyway.
I was trying to sell some LED light bulbs to an elderly couple. They were in the fence about the price. I justified the price by saying โthese things have an incredible life span. Youโre gonna die before these burn out.โ
They sorta looked at me with a weird mix of shock and acknowledgement. They ended up buying a few of the lamps/bulbs. There were 30 seconds or so though that I for sure regretted saying that.
Does listening to a co worker count? One customer calls and is difficult so the guy who answers transfers the call to another employee. That customers husband then calls up and the guy who answered the first call in the .middle of talking to the husband says "my colleague is trying to pacify your wife" I cringed when he said that. I can't imagine any scenario where that is something to say to a client
I am STILL remembered 20+ years later at a restaurant I used to waitress at for this one.
A patron came in and was being a really demanding biatch during an extremely busy lunch rush. I was slammed with 6 tables, so I got her drinks and chips and salsa out as quickly as I could. Every time I walked by her table she said something nasty and impatient even though everything had come out in a timely manner.
I'm walking through my section refilling drinks and I run out of tea in my pitcher just as I get to her table. That pitcher had the last tea in my part of the restaurant until the new batch finished brewing. She exploded when she saw I had filled a different table's drinks ahead of her and started screaming for me to get her more tea RIGHT NOW!!! I calmly looked down my nose at her and said, "You know, patience is a virtue."
Fortunately, she was the bookkeeper for the restaurant and the owner knew that she behaved like this every time she came in to eat and totally had my back. They still rib me about it when I go back in there to eat, though.
m2084 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this toilet seat strong?"
"If you don't keep jumping on top it will last a long time."
I worked in a McDonald's in a not so fantastic area in Scotland, as in quite a deprived area full of complete morons. I got into several heated discussions with idiotic customers however I will only talk about 2 incidents.
First- young boy (about 10) and girl (about 13) try to enter the store. They are barred from the premises due to damaging property and disruptive behaviour. I worked in customer care so I was out on the Floor. I walked up to them and the conversation went as follows (except with more Scottish slang);
Me: Right guys you know you aren't allowed in here so turn the other way
Boy: Eh no wtf I just want a cheeseburger
Me: Well you're going to have to get one from somewhere else I'm afraid
Boy: omg this isn't fair gonny just let us in
Me: look I'm trying to be nice about this, do you want me to call the police?
Boy: HA FUCKING GO FUR IT! WIT ARE THEY GONNY DO ANYWAY YOU FAT SPECKY COW?!
Girl is sniggering and egging him on
Me: Well they can come over here and escort you from the premises, how does that sound?
Boy: OMG DID YOU SEE THAT? SHE JUST TRIED TO TOUCH ME INAPPROPRIATELY! SHES A FUCKING PAEDOPHILE MAN
Me: laughing with rage and annoyance Ha is that right you wee arsehole? I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot fucking pole so piss off before I escort you off the premises myself.
My manager was standing behind me and said he would take over from there and I was to go cool down in the staff room...He knew how they could be and he got frustrated with the wee idiots too so nothing more was said about it.
Second: We had a seating area where the cameras didn't cover and it was quite out of sight from the staff. Because of the amount of misbehaving young people/kids we got coming in that would sit there and make a complete mess, vandalised the tables and chairs etc it became a rule that no young people if they were not with an adult could sit down there. One day I happened to notice what I thought were 3 young boys going to sit down there but could only see them from behind. I came running up behind them and said "Sorry boys but you aren't allowed to sit here without an adult being with you", to then have them turn round and see a somewhat tomboyish and small looking woman and her two sons presumably staring back at me. The woman just said "Well I'm an adult so why can't we sit here?" I could only apologise and run away and hide in the staff toilets for like 10 minutes!
Me: Congratulations!!
Customer: On what?
Me: On your pregnancy, you look great!
Customer: ...
Me:..?
Customer: Iโm not pregnant.
To make it worse, I kept apologizing and wouldnโt let it go fast enough (Holy $&%*! Iโm a fucking idiot!). Iโve known this person for a couple years before then and understood she flaunts herself for being in shape for her age - said herself in an article. Still one of the most remarkable verbal mistakes Iโve ever said and I totally KNEW better than to EVER say such thing without the person saying it first, but my excitement to see her or shear feeling of overwhelm overrode my mental operating system. FML.
After she left (fortunately she still bought from me then and still does), I tried to understand why I would say such a thing and all I could think she was wearing a terrible dress with horizontal color stripes or maybe she had food babies. Either way, I fucked up.
Not me but my sister.
She worked as a cashier at a grocery store and had to ID everyone who bought alcohol regardless of how old they looked. One day this 50ish year old guy comes in to buy beer. While she's looking at his ID he asked "Well did I pass?" she replied "Yea, with flying colors."
I work at a grocery store. Our egg cartons come in a box of 18 or so (one dozen x 18). The boxes have several holes in them, they're placed weirdly enough to not really be for grip.
A lady came up and asked me what they were for. For some reason I decided to tell her "it's so if any chicks hatch out of the eggs, they have air holes".
"So do you frequently get hatchlings? Are there some running around in the back?"
I really should have ended it there, but instead I doubled down and told her "yeah there's a few in the back, but usually the rats get to them first"
Being a server Iโve had tons of moments where I shouldnโt have laughed. On one menu we had a salad dressing that read โalmost no fat Vinaigretteโ. A lady asked for the โalmost FAT vinaigretteโ. I thought she was joking so I asked if she meant the NO FAT vinaigrette. She scoffed at me and asked for mayonnaise.
I was serving at olive garden and had a very bad day, angry customers, bad tippers and what not. Well we were 5 minutes from closing when this guy walks in and gets sat in my section. As soon as I walk up he says "just so you know I don't believe in tipping so don't expect one" well at this point that was the final straw so I responded with "then I don't believe in giving you good service so don't expect it" I immeadiatly realized what I had done part of me didn't care because I wasn't gonna get tipped anyway but the other part of me was worried about losing my job. I didn't and my manager didn't even write me up she was super chill about it and just told me not to do it again.
Use to work at a grocery store, one day a customer asked me where the Perrier water was and I replied "ewww Why?" Needless to say this was a thing I should not have said.
I work at a UPS Store and this woman comes in with a package and needs to pay to send this thing a couple of towns over. I ask her for a generalization of what's inside and ask her to confirm that there's nothing we're not allowed to ship (alcohol, drugs, tobacco, aerosols, etc.) and she says there's perfume in the package. I told her we can't send perfume because it's an aerosol and usually has some alcohol in it. She asks me if I could just pretend I don't know and I tell her no I can't just pretend I don't know. So she asks me what she's supposed to do with the package and I told her she could take out the perfume and send the rest. She says that the main point is the perfume, what is she supposed to do? I tell her to drive it herself. My boss was standing next to me and luckily she just laughed it off afterwards but she still teases me about that to this day.
i work at a hardware store. it was around 8am and I was the only cashier. the sales associates were somewhere in the back. customer comes in asking if we have a salt spreader, and I, without looking up from my phone, in the most apathetic teenage girl voice ever, say โI donโt know, probably. you should like, ask someone.โ
I worked in an auto insurance call center, and a man called in mad about a past rate increase. I was going through asking all the standard questions to try to help him out while he was being a condescending asshole who wouldn't answer my questions and made me repeat his answers back when he finally did answer. His policy was documented that he had already called in 4 or 5 times prior to our conversation and was rightfully hung up on after throwing out racial slurs to my coworkers. So I ask him about his annual mileage on a vehicle, and he asked something along the lines of, "Well, what do you think it is?" I replied, "Sir, I have no idea how many miles you drive in a year. You're making it very difficult to help you when you won't answer my questions and we're going round and round." He didn't like that too much, but my supervisor backed me up 100%.
SVTHORD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling retail at a big event and we were super busy. I was being pulled in 5 different directions by multiple customers and one of them was very rude about wanting helped first despite how busy we were. I looked him in the eyes and said something like 'calm down captain, I'll get to you as soon as I can.' I finished with someone, turned back to help the guy and noticed he had a hook for a hand...I called a guy with a hook 'captain.'
Customers always say 'sorry to be a pain' or something like that and every single time I find myself saying 'its ok' or something like that, basically agreeing that they are a pain but I'll tolerate them, which is not usually the message I mean to convey
I had a nice lady sitting at my desk and I asked her do you smell that? Its like that disgusting smell from a greenhouse. Her response was oh thatโs me, I work in a greenhouse. Oops.
Not so much what I say as how I say it. I need to shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself from doing finger guns. (Iโm a waitress)
Oh and one time a guy was like โMiss, this is seltzer not Spriteโ and without thinking I straight up took it out of his hand, took a sip, and was like โyouโre right! The syrup must be out!โ
With about 20 minutes left in my shift I had a member come through my line with the last name "Crow". Without looking at him or thinking I asked if he was related to Jim. He was not very happy.
I said, "Welcome to Burger King, how may I help you," in a generic as hell Arab accent at, well, Burger King. Never worked drive through again. Not that I'm complaining about it. It slipped out that way and I still think it was hilarious.
I used to work in customer service at a bank and would have people demand refunds for either legitimate service fees or transactions that they had clearly made. I would refund as much as I was allowed but when they started demanding me to do something or start off by saying โthis is whatโs going to happen.....โ I would not be nearly as accommodating. They would inevitably threaten me with closing their account (as if I cared where they held their accounts) so my response was always โwould you like cash or check?โ One time I had a douche, literally a millionaire, pissed about a fee that another bank had charged him and insisted that I refund it. We went round and round with me trying to explain that there was no way I could refund their fee. So when he said โfine, just close ALL my accounts thenโ and I asked the question he got so angry and told my manager that IโM the one who was just going to up and close his accounts, he was a bigwig so naturally the bank didnโt want to lose him. I acted confused since he had clearly said to close ALL of his accounts and made him admit in front of my manager that he was just trying to manipulate me. That was nice :D
Back when I was around 16, a customer was dropping a string of racist and abusive remarks towards me when I told him, very loudly and in front of other customers that we weren't in Nazi Germany and he had no right to speak to us like that.
Guess who got called into the office when our dear customer filed a complaint?
I worked in as a retail pharmacy technician. I loved the way Albuterol syrup smelled. I smelled it once in front of a customer who, angrily asked why I did it. I told the truth - it was the wrong choice.
Customer yells and cusses, waving fingers and hands at my coworker. My coworker finally gets fed up and says "Sir, I'm sorry but I don't get paid enough to sit here and listen to you. Please stop."
Another coworker, different one, was working with me at our carryout counter. We were hosting a big group of 50 girl soccer players, ages 12 to 14, and their parents and coaches. Lots of pizzas and lots of drinks. We gave the group a stack of cups and lids and told them to come up in small groups to get drinks from my coworker, who was standing at drink machine waiting to make drinks. First group of girls come running up to the counter and before they get there my coworker yells "Ok everyone, take off your tops and hold on to them!!" (Tops meaning lids). I BURST out laughing!!! He immediately turned to me with a look of regret and terror. All the little girls, again aged 12 to 14, laughed too.
I was working at a chain drugstore. A lady brings a box a surgical masks. Keep in mind that it was flu season. I'm just trying to make some light chit-chat, so I say, "Oh no, who got sick?" Expecting her to day something like "My child/husband/whoever has the sniffles! I better protect myself!"
But no. She says, "My mother has stage 4 cancer, and chemotherapy has destroyed her immune system. We can't be giving her any diseases."
Old job working retail
C - I was here last week, you gave me a tour.
M - yeah, I remember your face.
I forgot the customer had a noticeable burn/scar on her face.
Current job working IT.
M - if you don't have a DVD drive in your computer you can always bring it to a friend or family member.
C - No I can't, their all dead.
Samtoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at EB Games in college and was fumbling with some calculations on a return, and I said to what I thought was going to be a very receptive guy "Oh man sorry I guess I lost a few brain cells last night." (the topic of partying/drinking had been floating around customers at the moment it wasn't out of the blue) His young kid proceeds to walk up beside him and the dad says "Well THAT'S not something I want to hear around my son again!"
It's one of those moments that you relive in the middle of the night.
I work at a movie theatre and we have a free membership program that you can sign up for. Itโs super quick to sign up and all thatโs needed is email, name, and phone number. Asked a costumer if heโd like to sign up and he said yes. When I asked for his phone number he asked โitโs not for you, right?โ and I automatically responded with โOH GOD NO EWโ. Most awkward work experience of my life.
I work in sales. I'd started a new job and was meeting with a new client for the first time. I was explaining my work history - I had an obscure role in a well know company. I described myself as the "red headed stepchild" of the organization.
My client was a red head.
I tried the recover by awkwardly saying, "At least you're not a stepchild"
Not me, but I was helping my friend bag some groceries for a customer that came through her line while she was cashiering and they were buying TONS of fruit bowls. Cashier friend says โoooo, all this food. are we having a party?โ the woman responds by saying โno, a funeral.โ
I was behind the bar. Had a TV that wasnโt working properly, so hopped outside the bar to fix it. A table on the floor flags me down to tell me their waitress is inattentive. I had JUST clocked in, so didnโt know the backstory (the table had been rude to the previous bartender and had yelled at the waitress). They return two rocks margaritas, citing theyโre too sweet and the โmachine needs to be recalibratedโ. I inform them that they are hand poured, so .... no.... but Iโd be happy to replace the drinks with something else. They want a rum punch and a vodka punch. Okay..... thatโs even sweeter, but whatever. Oblige.
The man at the table RUSHES the bar and asks where his beer is. โSir, you didnโt ask for a beer. I more than happy to add one to your tab, but I was merely replacing the two drinks you didnโt like.โ
โWHERE IS THE MANAGER. I NEED A MANAGER. SEND HIM OVER HERE.โ
I honestly laughed. I am a woman, and I am the manager. So I did a quick 360 after chuckling, and shook his hand, introduced myself as the manager and asked what ELSE I could do for him.
He didnโt like it. At all. Thrust the free drinks back at me, and said heโd never come back.... that he was informing management that I was a bitch.
โThank you so much, sir. Iโll be sure to let myself know that Iโm a bitch.โ
..... Shouldโve been more profesh.... but fuck it.
On the phone to a customer, we had his postal address wrong. He was being difficult and I was having a bad day. He said "So we can land a man on the moon, but you still can't post my paperwork to the right address?" - I said "Well, we're not NASA sir"...it didn't go well after that.
clem82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At best buy like 10 years ago our manager was talking to a customer, he had 0 computer background or knowledge yet he was the manager of computers (go figure). Anyways, I came over because he was struggling to talk about networking bridge support and how to make a complex network. I came over and said I can actually help you if you can tell me what your current in home network is.
Guy responds that he wasn't sure that other guy knew what he was saying, I just naturally responded "yeah he has no idea what he's talking about" about a foot away. Guy looked back and laughed, he bought quite a bit but my manager was like "that made me feel bad...." I felt kind of bad but in computers it's better to not BS your way through it.
I worked as a respiratory therapist in an emergency room and had a student that was mostly through school, hands off mostly letting them do it all. They were getting ready to draw some blood on a patient and we had just been discussing pathophysiology, disease processes that occur in the body, of pulmonary patients.
The patient mentioned of-hand that she had a disease we had JUST been discussing 10 minutes earlier and I exclaimed "oh that's so cool!" Because he's learning all about that. I just apologized and walked away because she didn't want to hear why.
I work at a restaurant that also serves ice cream. We had these plastic containers that didnโt hold gummy candies well, and one of the customers was thinking about getting some gummy bears. I warned them that they werenโt really fresh, then for some unknown reason. I took out a gummy bear. And bounced it off the counter. Iโm pretty sure I nearly got fired.
I stood behind my boyfriend who was working the front counter register and pretended to grab his ass and make a face at our coworker. The customer standing behind her saw and I laughed it off and said "sorry you had to see that."
1ft2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a bank phone teller, told the customer "we expect that you can do basic math' .
With a different customer said "I'm going to get you fired"
my response was " I'm ok with that, would you like me to transfer you to her?"
I work in a cafeteria on campus in my university, and one time this person ordered some specific drink. And the customer was a transgender. My co-worker who was at the register called out to me that "He wants this". And then almost suddenly said, "No, she wants this." And then looked at the customer flabbergasted.
Iโve never said anything to a customer I donโt feel like I shouldnโt have said, even if it was the wrong way to handle the situation, but I have thought a lot of things that would have gotten me fired had I said them. I have had some pretty mean thoughts go through my head after dealing with asshole customers. I did get permission from my manager one time to tell a lady off which was beautiful. I also walked away from a belligerent customer twice. They didnโt like that.
Working as a hostess at a restaurant, we had this full restaurant buy-out for a political event. We ran out of coat hangers in the entry way, so we took to piling jackets on chairs. Some lady came up to me and demanded that I find her coat right away, so I started shifting the jackets around. She stormed past me and started tossing them left and right. At one point, she looked at me and said "God, it's so rude when people can't remember where they put IMPORTANT THINGS." Right then, her friend called over and said "Bernice, hey, you brought your jacket to the table."
It was late, and I was tired, and before I could stop myself I muttered "God, its so rude when people can't remember where they put IMPORTANT THINGS." She told my manager, he laughed his ass off and I got free shots after closing.
Bonus: Same party, I was enlisted to go around to all the tables and announce last call. As I got to a table, I said "Just letting you know its last call." The guy at the table said "Oh, well can you get me another drink?" I said "No, sorry, if you want a drink you'll have to go line up at the bar since we don't have our POS system up tonight." (Layout was too fluid to document each person's location, so bar was by order only.) He went "Well, can you get my wife another drink?" I repeated my answer. He looked me up and down, and disdainfully said "Well then, what is your ROLE here?" I said "Jerk wrangling, apparently. Have a nice night."
Man I hated the food industry.
gwhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was waitressing at a popular restaurant in town. An old man came up to pay his bill and said to me " wow you are so pretty, you must be beating the boys off with sticks " my reply ? "Just my boyfriend.... always beating him off.."
Awkward silence to follow once I realized what I had said...
As a receptionist I tend to do this way to many times by accident. Feel like crap after for days.
- Guy came in on a wheelchair sign in told me what he was here for โok cool have a seat they will call you in, in a fewโ turn bright red I guess he was used to it didnโt say a word just rolled away
When I was a teenager working at a taco bell a couple walked up and asked for 2 tacos and I said "do you want your tacos hard or soft" with the most obvious and immature grin on my face, they slowly looked at eachother, I couldn't tell if they got it or thought I was mentally challenged (or both). Can't say I regret it but I just thought it was hilarious
goblu33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve been working retail for over 20 years so I occasionally like to mess with customers for fun if theyโre being jackasses. I had a customer that was trying to use our payment processing terminal and itโs a touch screen. This customer was the type that likes to tap SUPER hard on the touch screen w/ the stylus. Of courses it will not work when used in this manner. I proceed to inform the customer that this machine is suffering a glitch at the moment and the only way it will work is if you use your pinky fingers to press the buttons and sign. The sight of this customer using the machine like that was more then my coworkers could handle. They had to step out until she was done.
Just a couple days ago I was at a tenants house changing blinds. The tenant is a black man and I'm a white man. Anyway, we got to talking about Mexican food. He was saying he really likes *local joint that is right down the street from his house. I verified the name and said that the location that's on so and so road is way better. I saw him thinking about where it was I was talking about so I blurted out "right next door to the kfc" I clenched my asshole when those words came out of my mouth. Not the worst and I wasn't meaning it to be racisit. It was just the only landmark(?) That I could think of
I was working in food service at a deli. The power had gone out for most of my small town and customers were coming in droves for food. We ran out of fried chicken and I kept informing customers of the time frame for when It would be up. A black couple came up (I'm white and completely oblivious) and told them if they wanted fried chicken it would be at least 30 minutes. They looked at me like I was the biggest asshole on the planet. I obviously didn't mean it racially, especially since I had an established pattern of having to tell customers every 30 seconds the time frame for fried. But I felt like an asshole after that.
So I work at a law office as a courier until I finish my semester at my community college an move on to a four year university. So part of my job, aside from making deliveries, I man the front desk when the receptionist is on break. I had not been having a particularly good day. This man came in wanting to see the lawyer that does divorces. I call up the lawyer and he says he'll be up in about thirty minutes. So the guy talks insessantly for a straight fifteen minutes, half of the whole waiting time, and he starts getting emotional and says to me, "I just don't understand why she left me." I was so tired and agitated I didn't even notice that I said....
"Maybe if you learned to put a sock in it she wouldn't have left you."
The other fifteen minutes was spent in silence. Do I still have my job yes, why did they keep me, I don't know.
I own a small nerf party business, most of the time it's children's nerf parties we do, and I usually invite the adults who are watching to play. Because you know if the adults enjoy themselves as well as the kids I am more likely to get repeat custom. So I am explaining the rules and the safety instructions to the kids. Then I turn around and say to the adults. "Hey adults I am happy for you to join in and shoot your kids, you won't get in trouble we don't live in Florida".
Never has there been such a deadpan silence... But anyway I got paid and a nice review.
I was a ticket agent for Continental airlines in the 90s. My moment was an "I'm not missing this opportunity moment". Claudia Schiffer walked up to me to checkin for first class. I thought about it for five seconds while printing her boarding pass then said "Would you marry me?" She replied with a smile "No I'm sorry, but that was nice of you to ask." in her delicious accent. At least I tried...
I worked at an ice cream place in high school. I was sorta like a manager. During the shift I was the senior most so whatever problems went to me.
So a couple comes in. The girl was a little annoying. They asked to try as many things as they're allowed to and took forever ordering a fairly large order. One of the items was a milk shake. Someone had left the milk out of the freezer a bit too long so it wasn't as cold as it should be. On top of that they chose one of the softer ice creams. When I made the shake, it did come out a bit liquify but whatever. I was annoyed and there really wasn't much I could do so I gave it to them. They pay and go sit down.
A minute or two later they come back to complain my milk shake is too milky to which I replied "well it is called a MILK shake". I could see the shock on the bfs face. I wanted to laugh. I did feel a bit messed up since i agreed that it really shouldn't be that way. I wasn't had the best of nights so I just said too bad. They asked for the manager. They didn't like it when I said I was the manager at the moment.
The really funny thing was five minutes later, we get a call asking for the manager. I answer it and talk to them. After a bit I ask, are you here now and did I just help you. I just hear a pause and hang up, go to the front, and tell them look there's nothing I we can do. They pout and leave. I never hear from them again.
4ivE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once upon a time I worked at a very shabby sandwich shop started by a couple of MBA Bros / wannabe-entrepreneurs in the 1990s. A fellow came in on a usual empty and boring weekday afternoon and ordered a tuna salad. I made it, served him, took his money, watched him go. Went back to being bored and underpaid.
Fellow returns very shortly. Annoyed. He exclaims that the tuna salad is rancid.
I have no idea why, but I said "Yeah, I thought there was something wrong with it" - which was a lie. I had no idea, nor did I care. I think I quit that day.
Something I feel terrible about more than 15years later. I worked in a supermarket in the fruit and vegetable section when I was 19. A customer came in asking what chives where. I pointed to the herbs and said "this is them. Just think of them as midget spring onions". The customer had dwarfism. I went bright red and fled out the back.
kms1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a photography company that went in homes. We specialized mainly with newborns. I get to the one clients home and the photos were going great, baby was adorable, mom was great and we had an awesome rapport going. Then we got to a photo where the mom cups the babyโs feet, so the mom takes the socks off the baby...and the baby is missing most of the left foot, and what she did have was severely deformed. I just wasnโt expecting it and I was completely taken aback. I so stupidly said โare you sure you still want this photo?โ Like, Jesus Christ, Iโm so dumb and seemed so insensitive. Of course she wanted the photo still. I cringe and want to kick myself for not thinking it through quicker.
Lady on the phone giving me her whole life story to get to the error code she was getting. At some point 20 min into rant 4, she says "and i just bought this tv". Normally, i mute customers when they rant to avoid what happened here. Out of frustration, i said aloud "good for you" in a very angry/rude voice... she didnt even stutter. Got away completely free of anything because she kept going and made the call to long to qa. But ho boy was i sweating the rest of the week.
Oh it's my time to shine! When checking out an elderly couple they bought a cake that the deli didn't put a price tag. Every one who has worked in retail knows what the next line from the customer is. hue hue hue "I guess it's free then".
I myself was quite tired of this remark for the 898th time that week. So for the first time I audibly laughed extremely sarcastically and said "I'm going to fucking kill myself and mail you my brain matter".
Yeah the look on the elderly couple's face was saddening. Though I didn't get in trouble for that remark, I can't help but feel that I made their day a little bit worse.
fobmanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a credit union for a little while after college. While on the phone with a member going through her account on our system, I clicked the wrong thing and had to go back. Wasn't a big deal but I uttered a loud "oh shit!" It wasn't a huge deal, the customer freaked for a second but then laughed. I'm glad it wasn't some anal dbag that reported me to a supervisor, but I definitely shouldn't have said it...
I pulled in to open up my work and there was a really nice corvette waiting in the parking lot. Quick aside, there is a little waiting room where i work and there is one chair where you cant see if somebody is sitting there. So another coworker comes in to open with me. She leaves the door open and unbeknownst to me the corvette driver walks in and has a seat in the hidden chair. My coworker says to me " hey hansyolo, is that your corvette out there?" I say "wanna know why i dont drive a corvette? Cause i have all my hair and my dick still works". In a bizarre twist of fate, the corvette driver is a woman and cracks up laughing.
I donโt recall the conversation verbatim because it was so long ago, but it was something to the effect of:
โ...the other location doesnโt charge for this, that or the other..โ
to which I responded with: โso at least you know if you go there youโll save .xx cents.โ
Didnโt get in trouble, she was pissed... I didnโt care to be honest because I was so over the job at this point.
Where I work we have a ridiculously fast chip reader like maybe 3 seconds. But if you put the card in too soon it asks you to reinsert your card.
This old lady probably in her 70s does exactly that.
โOh, you put it in a little quickโ
All she does was giggle and I have a questioning look on my face, she looks at me with the most shit eating grin and says โthatโs what she saidโ and then just leaves I had to grab my boss and tell him because I was crying.
Not to a customer but to a coworker I said I don't drink anymore cause it made my weight balloon. Right then I realized my coworker who enjoys a few daily drinks and is way overweight was within earshot when I thought they had already left. My stomach just dropped and I felt horrible....
This just happened last weekend. So I drive for UberEats and I was delivering a customer some food at the apartment complex where he lives. I was on the sidewalk but he had briskly walked into the street looking for me. I called to him so that he could see me and met up with him to hand over his food.
Now this guy was pretty tall, fit, and wearing a white top and pants that looked like a some kind of super basic gi or karate uniform. He was barefoot, but holding shoes in his hands, and his face looked sweaty. For some stupid reason I let out the comment โOh, were you just running?โ He gave a dry, unenthusiastic laugh and said flatly โthatโs funny. Noโ, as he walked away. It was then that I noticed two things:
The โgiโ was nothing more than white pajamas, and
The โsweatโ was grease
I was fucking mortified and angry at myself the rest of the night. But seriously though, who the fuck wears all white pajamas and walks outside with their shoes in their hands?!?
Was working as a cashier at Kmart and was in my mid teens. Customer came to me with food stamps and I had never seen them before so I yelled across the store โHey Boss...How do I ring up EBT!?โ. The poor lady was so embarrassed...pun intended
It was the second year that my company was open for Thanksgiving night, and this woman and her daughter come to my register.
The woman proceeds to say, "I'm shopping on Thanksgiving, so you should give me a discount." Without skipping a beat I look her right in the eyes and say "I should be at home with my family, but I'm working on Thanksgiving."
The woman was not amused, the daughter apologized for her mother, my boss just looked the other way.
I work for a bottle shop. It was xmas eve and it was hectic. We closed the door and were serving the last of the customers. My workmate was at the back of the store talking to a customer. He came over to me and asked (because I know more about wine than him):
'This man would like to if one of these sparkling wines is more bubbly than the other.'
I replied way too loudly and flippantly:
'No, they're both sparlking wines, they will have a smiliar amount of bubbles in them. What a stupid question!??'
I then walk up and see the customer looking a little embarrased. He heard it. I then had to go back to the counter and wish him a happy xmas.
No harm done, but I say stupid shit when I'm tired๐
I was working technical support for a popular backup product. I had a customer that had a pretty messed up file system which was preventing the backups from completing correctly. This was a 12TB HDD location. I told them we had to perform a check disk operation to check for inconsistencies on the drive.
Throughout the conversation he kept asking me how long this process would take. I kept telling him the length of the process depends on how corrupted the system is and could take some time if inconsistencies were found. But he KEPT asking me the same question. After about the eighth time, I finally answered with "I am not a genie, I can't come up with some magical number that would equate to the actual time it will take to complete."
As I said the above words, I could see all my coworkers in my row mute their calls and turn their chairs towards me like "wtf did I just hear?" The customer just gave a forced chuckle and never asked me again. Once I got off the call, everybody busted up laughing. I ended up closing the case because they weren't willing to run the check disk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was cashing out my till as a customer approached to purchase stuff and I informed him the cashiers at the front could help him. He refused to go to the front and I mentioned I was cashing out so that was really his only option. I guess for being denied the ability to pay at my till, he told me I was a fucking asshole and a prick. I only said "same to you," as a response and that set him off. He said a few more stupid things that I stupidly replied to and stormed off.
My friend who was the closing manager asked what the hell happened in my department as they had a customer come up screaming and yelling.
I asked a customer what company he was with and the company name had Lynch in it. Wrongly assuming he was an employee of the company I asked who would name their company that. Family name and he owned the company.
Not me but my mom. We went out to a restraunt that's parking lot was right next to a neighborhood. It had a side walk and a fence bloxking the 0arking lot from the sidewalk. When we came back from having lunch I ran to the car while my mom walked behind. When I got to the car a kid rising a bike wearing a helmet looks at me and while doing so hits the fence and falls down. My mom sees it and yells out to the kid "what are you retarded". The kid gets up and is actually mentally handicapped. His mom came running up started to help him .My mom ran to the car and told me to "get the fuxk in the car" and drove off as fast as she could.
I'm a bagger at a supermarket. Sometimes, I like to kid around with customers and pretend to miss the obvious. This one guy comes in with a cake, and tells it's for a baby shower. His wife's. So I, trying to comically miss the point, say, "oh, who's the father?"
He doesn't respond, and it quickly hits me what I just implied. I apologise, stop speaking, and he tells me that, were I any older, he would have hit me.
Not my best moment. Also, I never saw him nor the cashier I was working with again after this moment.
MoesBAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was proving a coworker some help over a message and mistyped โYou Got It!โ With โYou Go Titโ...thankfully I noticed before pressing enter.
I was a 21 year old working as clerk in a pharmacy. A patient comes up and I can't understand a word she is saying. She has darker skin and dark hair, so I starting talking to her in spanish hoping we could understand each other.
She looks at me blankly and is able to get the words out "I just had dental surgery." I run away in horror...
I was running a garage sale. Had a gentleman buy something from me. I complimented his dog that was sitting in his truck on the way out. He said it was a disability service dog and used to belong to his brother.
Stupid me thought he retired this dog and got another. I said, "Aw well he's nice and off duty now!"
He said, "My brother passed away."
I apologized and felt like I wanted to bury myself alive in that moment.
Was starving so I ordered some Chinese food but it was taking a while to arrive. On the way to do something I saw a Chinese fellow in the building and before my brain could tell my stomach to stfu I blurted out, are you the Chinese food guy? Picture my eyes widening to saucers and my lifeline splitting into several different timeline scenarios that luckily quickly collapsed into the one where it WAS the Chinese food guy because in every other scenario it would have been awkward as fuck.
Just today i tried giving a blind guy his receipt. Took me a second to realize what was going on when he just stared in my direction not moving๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ
Had a customer banging on the door after closing time. โcanโt you just look at my phone? I need my phone for work!โ (I work in cellular sales). I explained through the locked glass door that no I canโt open the door after we close but we had another location less than 10 minutes away in the mall that went by mall hours and was open two more hours. Cue the guy losing his shit on me and cursing at me. I just say sorry have a nice night and start to walk away and he bangs the door one last time and yells โFuck You!โ And starts walking to his car.
Now, Iโm the only person there at this point since my boss was in the office counting money so I unlocked the door stuck my head out (so my mouth couldnโt be seen on camera) and yelled โFuck You!โ And then locked the door in his face as he came back after me. I just stood there til he left. I immediately regretted that thinking oh shit if that guy calls customer service it would be pretty easy to for my boss to figure out who it was. He apparently didnโt though because he came in the store the next day and sought me out and apologized and shook my hand.
Here I am, super tired, only a few weeks on the job and this oldish man walks up to the register. Iโm thinking something to do with someoneโs age and when I open my mouth, instead of โhow are youโ โhow old are youโ comes out. Next week same thing happens. THEN IT GETS WORSE IM CALLING FOR THE NEXT CUSTOMER AND MY VOICE CRACKS. I try again, IT CRACKS AGAIN?!?!?? rip my dignity after that
My buddy and I were servers at the same restaurant, and one night he had a large party of men, or so he thought. He approached their table and said "how's it going gentlemen," then he realizes there is a woman at the table he had confused for a man because she was going through chemo and was bald.
Awkward start to a table.
I was taking in a jewelry repair from a young girl and I handed her her claim ticket, told her that her or her dad (the gentleman standing next to her) could pick it up in ten days. They both looked at me and then I realized that the gentleman was not her father,
I was serving a large table, they have had a few drinks at this point. Taking away their main course plates, I ask the man at the top of the table would the table like me to bring dessert menus, he tells me they plan on ordering more alcohol instead. As i return to retrieve the rest of the plates, i ask the table if they would like to order anything else. One of the men shouts up to me "I know what i want" and i instantly response with "That'll help" in the most sarcastic tone. Then rush back to the kitchen for a few seconds i panicked until i heard the whole table in hysteric laughter.
Subway- I was working closing shifts, so this is around 9pm.
"Is the bread fresh?"
"Does 8am yesterday sound fresh to you?"
Liaaure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We mistakenly put the wifeโs name on a dogs collar (worked at an animal hospital at the time and we would take off their collars before putting them in the kennel). Was having a hard time looking for the dogs name and the husband says โthatโs it!. I said โhopefully this wasnโt meant for your wife.โ He laughed.
But the cringiest for me is when I tell uber/grub hub/door dash people โenjoyโ or โthank you for visitingโ mostly because they obviously arenโt eating the food or choosing the company. Iโm making a concerted effort to say โhave a good rideโ or โdrive safeโ because I can only hang my head in shame so much.
Others are more mundane or silly. Like today someone was asking about a specialty item and i said โwhyโre essentially chicken strips tossed on a sauce of your choosingโ (leaving out that the chicken tenders are frozen versus specialty item is breaded in house). And then I asked the lady if she wants her wings Bone in or boneless. The gentleman said something about boneless Just being nuggets. Which i agreed. And then tried to back peddle in a โI donโt judge people who order them but Iโve had people who invited me to places that did boneless wings as though that was a highlight but ITS CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR CHRIST SAKE CALL A DUCK A DUCKโ way. Which was cringey from my side but I think he got that I wasnโt being judgey, itโs just that breaded small bites of chicken are, like, the definition of nuggets. I mean theyโre tossed in sauce but it feels like a technicality to me (I actually love chicken nuggets but boneless wings are wings sue me).
Some lady was being such an absolute bitch about not getting her discount and throwing such a gigantic scene of it I turned to my assistant manager in an angry huff and shouted in front of a line of customers, "I'm calling the cops on her if you aren't!".
It did nothing to help the problem.
adh247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little on topic, I worked in a mobile audio shop and a guy pulled up outside the garage in a huge lifted up truck with real big tires.
As I'm talking to the guy about what radio he wanted, an employee was walking into the shop and didn't see the customer standing there and just says "Jesus! How small is this guys dick?!"
He then has to walk by the guy to get into the store with an embarrassed look on his face and the customer just tried to pretend he didn't hear him.
I work at a marketing company and I advise our clients how to get the most out of what they are doing. One client told me that he had been in his profession for 20 years and I shouldnโt tell him how to do his job, to which I replied:
โI imagine youโve heard the expression โyou canโt teach an old dog new tricks, well that is rarely a judgement on the tricks.โ
It surprisingly went over well, and I have since pulled it out on other time with similar results. Iโve found it isnโt so much what you say, itโs who youโre saying it too, and the context surrounding it.
When I worked at subway, during my very first shift I poured waaay too much salt n pepper all over this mans sub. Without a second thought I literally picked up the sub and blew it off, very roughly. I donโt actually know what came over me to do that but both my boss (who was next to me) and the customer were NOT impressed.
September 12, 2001. I worked in a fabric store and by this time all patriotic themed fabric, and all red, white, and blue fabric, ribbon, and bead had been purchased. I have been dealing with understandably upset people all day who just wanted to express their grief and couldn't find supplies.
A man cut the line at the cash wrap and demanded that I show him where to find flags. I tell him that we don't carry flags and all our patriotic fabric is sold out and apologized for not having what he needed (normal response).
I can't remember his exact words, but he basically yelled at me for working at an unpatriotic business and said I was a bad American for not having flags to sell him.
I responded by asking him what kind of American he was that he didn't own a flag already.
I got sent on a break and he was asked to leave for harassing employees. I wasn't the only one he yelled at, I found out later.
Other day I was bartending, and two twenty-something girls come sit at one of my tables. At some point in our interaction the girl on my right side sees a guy she knows from class and waves to him while he makes eye contact with her, yet gets nothing in return. She got a little upset and made a comment about it, so I proceed to say, "damn, what a fuckboy"
I work for a landscaping company and customers call all the time asking all sorts of questions about plants and such. So a lady calls and asks when is the best time of year to prune some shrub. I responded with โlemme just google that real quickโ (because frankly it gets annoying people calling up all the time asking these questions when they can do exactly what Iโm going to do). She says โwhat did we do before google and I said โwell, I guess call me.โ She did not laugh.
I do custom embroidery. An Amish guy strolls into the shop and is checking out the machine, which is running. I quip, "Beats doing it by hand."
wynmill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Last year I worked in a hippie/boho store that sold expensive homewares, furniture and clothing. One of the things we sold lots of were Himalayan rock salt lamps. We would often plug them in for people so they could chose the colour they wanted. To do this you had to turn them upside down, take out the packaged globe out and then reinsert it with the plug attached. They could be tricky to remove and weโd sometimes grab a pen or a screw drive to wiggle them out. Anyway this particular day a quite a proper looking family of three, mother, father and son were interested in a really large lamp probably 19kg. They definitely wanted to see it plugged in for the price they would be paying. So after messing around on the floor for a few minutes without any luck I grabbed the first thing I could find which happened to be a wooden flute (I know wtf)... upon inserting the wooden flute into the round hole in the bottom of this salt lamp I looked up at the family and said with a huge grin โthis one time at band camp I shoved a flute...โ realising the next word I quickly stopped myself and just looked at their stunned expressions. We didnโt talk much more and they left soon after without buying the lamp.
I've been waiting to tell this one but I worked for a gym and I sold memberships there.
So anyway the bosses had only a few inexcusable rules and one was that whoevers name was on the credit card info for the contract had absolutely better be the person that signs the authorization for it at the end of the process. If u messed this up the error could take days to correct and you would be mercilessly harassed by the boss about it.
In comes lady who uses husband's credit card details to sign up. I didn't spot this until we got to the front and i ask if he's here to sign for it since the account is his name. She says no she'll sign. I'm not in the mood to be spanked over her error so I let her know that unfortunately rules are if it's not your name you can't sign for it.
She insists that she can. You've gotta understand bosses didn't care about this they only look at the name and the signature. If they don't match then prepare for an epic shitstorm.
I kept trying to abort the contract and grab a manager to explain the situation to but this lady starts getting all angry and saying I'm wasting her time and why can't she just sign it. Blah blah blah.
I finally snapped and without thinking angrily told her she was committing fraud and that I basically wanted nothing to do with the shitstorm that would follow it. (I dont actually know if this is fraud or not, it just popped into my head)
Needless to say I still got my shitstorm only now it consisted of "why did I upset a customer and tell them they were committing fraud."
Worked as a security officer/crowd controller in Australia. Australian PGA round at the golf club (was a Hyatt). Was placed on a side gate solo for a few days during the daytime hours, and spent the nights solo at a hippie bar (which was rather cool). Rest of the team were at the gates, patrolling, crowd control, or off duty.
One night after the bar closed, was at the staff house chilling with a beer (probably around 0300), and the Samoanโs came in, and of course more beers were to be had. Passed out around 0600.
Was roused at 0700 because a car with a few of the lads broke down and they wouldnโt be arriving for about two hours. Needed covers. So was suited up and put on the front door to do the bag checks. Other guys were with me, and they put me somewhere in the middle. Was more than likely slightly over the limit, but more tired than anything else.
Middle-aged lady (with the haircut) comes by with a fold up chair in the carry bag. I asked her to take it out of the bag. She then demands why so. (Lady, the guys at the gate have pushed you to this secondary line for further screening for a reason) I reply, โSo I can check if there is anything between your legs.โ Deadpan face, Asian eyes more sloped than usual. Guard next to me started laughing, I would assume her husband was stifling a laugh, and she turned a lighter shade of supernova. Pulled the chair out of the bag, nothing between the legs, and directed her to move on.
A few mins later, boss came by, pulled me aside, and moved me back to the side gate again...good times...pay was excellent...10/10 would do again...
Lady was absolutely irate at a coworker, came over to talk to me, still ranting about how she was going to speak to the manager. Accidentally gave her the wrong name for my coworker.
I work at a call center. We have the power to mute ourselves so customers cannot hear us. The CU and I were going through some troubleshooting and she said โIโm going to go do XYZโ I replied with โIโm Iโm going to sit here and finish my food.โ in a sing song voice. I didnโt mute myself. I was horrified and ready for a verbal beating but the CU just sang back and all was good in the world.
When I was listening to a customer berate me on the phone, calling me all sorts of names and telling me they were going to sue blah blah, and I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It was a bad idea, the guy exploded, but I just couldn't help it. When they are so mad they're just yelling things to try to get a rise out of you, sometimes I rise to the bait. God I hate customer service. I've been doing it for 15 years and I fucking hate it. Shoot me.
The banking industry is a lot of high pressure sales for the tellers. If someone comes in with a large check for deposit, you will be threatened with your job if you don't offer them a home equity loan or bring up banking products. So. This jackhole walks in with his way cool sunglasses on and a check deposit of 100 grand, my supervisor is right there by me, and I greeted him, then asked him the thing. He responds with "You stupid bitch, why the fuck would I want a fucking loan?" I looked him dead in my reflection of his way cool glasses and I said "Ya know, until they give me a separate paycheck to put up with language like that from people like you, I will NOT deal with you. YOU'RE DONE.GOOD DAY" He looks confused, not used to anyone retaliating apparently and says, I'll get you fired, I said "Awesome. There's my boss's desk right over there, til then, I said good day. SHE will wait on you" And I walked his deposit ticket over to Launda Launda was the most hated bank teller in all of the universe.....by everyone, staff and customers alike. NOBODY wanted to be waited on by her. I've seen tears, no shit. She was slow, rude, condescending, and not going to make him have a nice day whatsoever. Then I walked into the back and double dog DARED my boss to fire me. Boss however, loved me and would not fire me for being an asshole to an asshole. And I have about 25 more stories about shit just like this, cuz I can't and won't keep my mouth shut!
I worked at an amusement park one summer on a roller coaster. Part of the fun in that job is trying to squeeze larger sized guests into a seat. One time one of my coworkers was having difficulty getting someone in, my coworker was like 5 feet not even 100 pounds, so I go and help get the guy in. I then turn to my coworker and say you should hit the gym to get stronger. Well the larger guest took it to mean o was talking about him and then he complained.
Manager at Burger King who had recently moved back home to NY from the South so had adopted some things like y'all along with a bit of a drawl.
Busy ass lunch rush, trying to get stuff out as quick as possible, and some black women customers start yelling about slow service or some problem etc in my face. I responded with, "Man y'all people (customers) are driving me crazy today!". Given I happen to be white and pretty sure I had a mohawk at the time, yeah they didn't take it as just customers in general, but the whole YOU PEOPLE, WHAT DO YOU ME YOU PEOPLE reaction happened.
L0ki15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a sommelier at a restaurant. One night a guest comes in and he requests my assistance picking a wine. I proceed to ask what his tastes are like and what he likes in order to find an appropriate wine for him. He said he wanted acidic light red wines so I immediately think of Beaujolais from France. I come back with the bottle of this young Beaujolais and I said to him โthis is just how I like it, young and tightโ hahaha my face of horror mustโve caused his face of surprised to turn into a laugh... the rest of the party followed with a burst of laughter as well. Itโs safe to say that the rest of the night I was the center of the jokes for those people, and I had it well deserved.
I was cashier at a certain Greek emperor themed pizza restaurant back in high school. In walks in a 12 year old in a business suit. He wants something other than the usual premade pizza, I fill out the order slip and go in the back to put it in the que. Manager is working the toppings and I tell him "here's the weird kid's order". Manager doesn't hear me, but somehow the customer does over the sound of the radio and the pizza oven. He goes full "I'm a very important person, how dare you defy me peasant" mode and ends up complaining to said manager. Got his pizza for free and the manager just gave me a "that happened" look.
More of a fuck up, but as i was talking to this women who had worked at the same company a long time ago as a pharmacist (i work cashier) and she said at the age of 40 she quit so being the smart ass I was at the time i commented that she looked really young and asked to guess her age while i was working her bags of merch, i said she should be around late 30s. She immediately lets out a laugh and says yeah i must have graduated college when she was like 10 and i go quiet for a akward amount of time and fix myself by saying "you look like your in your 30s" she leaves and i help any remaining customers go on my break and just sit down regretting looking like a dumbass.
I work in an Er. A patients family member is translating to Spanish for me and tells their family member โshe wants to see your buttholeโ instead of what I had asked him to say.
I reacted instinctively by shoving him hard enough ont he shoulder and called him a jerk before realizing what I had done.
There are not enough sorry โs in the world to express how basil I felt but this guy just kept on laughing and didnโt mind the exchange.
1) Going through the usual greeting to my table of ten people at the restaurant I work at.
"Welcome, are we celebrating anything today?"
"Why, do we get something for free?"
"Unfortunately not sir."
"Welp. Looks like we should head over to McDonald's."
"Would McDonalds give you anything for free?"
2) "Hi, my name is ______, what can I get for you to drin-"
"I'll take the Dijon chicken."
"I imagine it'll be a bit hard to fit through the straw but alright. You get two sides with that."
Good thing they were both good sports about it and weren't upset.
I worked in a hardware store. I opened the store by myself. The first customer comes in. I always greet the customers when they roll in. Threw out a "good morning sir!"
... It was a lady. Very short hair. Kinda bulky. But definitely a lady. Had to help her one on one for the next half hour. A very long half hour...
I was working at a shitty burger joint, which served shitty burgers. I was just having a shit day, and this woman asked me where we sourced our burger meat from. Without thinking I answered โSYSCOโ while rolling my eyes. Luckily, I donโt think she had ever worked in food service, so I donโt think she knew what SYSCO is, but it was the moment I realized I should probably quit working at that shitty burger place.
Worked retail, woman was obviously having a bad day complaining about her personal issues as I rung her up. She went to go leave after paying and I said "I hope you have a better day.". I meant it sincerely, but she got super pissed and thought I was being sarcastic and told me to fuck off lol.
Duro18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This didnโt happen to me but a good friend i work with at the local supermarket. There are these 2 regulars that are sisters that are there weekly. While shopping, my friend asks the one woman how her day is going. She responds with, โIts been ok but i lost my sister,โ and my friend replies with โOh shes right thereโ while pointing to the womanโs sister nearby. The woman goes โno my other sister just died today.โ He immediately apologized but she completely understood.
I used to be a bank teller at a chase, my favorite fast food restaurant is chic-fil-a. Well one day a customer of African background came in and was looking to withdraw funds for a bank elsewhere. The amount was 3,000 so a cashiers check over cash is more safe. Well a cashiers check is 8$ at Chase, so he decided to take cash and I said โyou can buy a meal at chic-fil-a for eight bucksโ
I never wanted to swing my hands out and grab those words.
Good news is he didnโt take it personally at all. I felt so bad
I was working at a Brookstone, during the holiday season, and there was a lady who could not get the signal to pull up a coupon on her phone. She was going to purchase a $20 item, and the coupon was for 15% off. She went on a whole rant about not having good signal on her phone and that it was all our fault for building the store poorly and blocking cell reception, all for $3 off this item. We, as all malls do, had a santa in the middle of the mall where you could go and ask for your Christmas gift.
After about 5 minutes of this lady's complaining, I told her "Why don't you go and sit on Santa's lap and ask him for better service; maybe that'll help." She proceeded to ask for my manager, who after hearing the story, pulled me into the back room to congratulate me.
i worked at a pizza place most of my college career. i was working one super bowl sunday and we were extremely busy, naturally. all of the phones were ringing nonstop and this lady called to complain because she wanted her pizza cut in squares instead of triangles, and we cut it in triangles.
i told her we were busy and it was probably just overlooked, a total accident, something a reasonable person could understand. she would not stop yelling at me over the phone
so, i told her i would talk to my manager and see what he says. my manager said โi donโt have time for this.โ so i went back to the phone and told the lady โiโm sorry but we donโt have time for this.โ
she yelled at me and threatened to call corporate :(
emore89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I previously worked in a call center doing collections when I got on the phone with a woman who stated she had just had a baby and couldnโt pay her bill. Something about her tone of voice told me not to congratulate her, but the words escaped me before it was too late. And, of course, it was a stillbirth. Cringe.
I was working at Sears in the shoe department and a guy came in asking for a specific boot in a specific size. I looked on the shelf and in the back but was unable to find what he wanted. He then asked "Why don't you have it." to which I replied "Because we didn't know you were coming in." Needless to say he was unhappy and complained to the manager.
I used to work at a gas station and the pumps would regularly be a pain in the ass. This led to customers becoming pricks a lot and blaming me.
After a day of people tearing me to shreds, one guy threatened to post about his bad experience on Facebook and I replied "ooooohhhh, I'm so scared."
Another time a guy was being an was toward for no real reason. My boss and him apparently knew each other. My boss asked him what he was up to. The guy told him he was going to a Nickelback concert. I said "Ha! Nickelback". He told me to shut the fuck up and stop laughing. He got really mad when I didn't stop laughing. He got REALLY mad when my boss started laughing and several other customers too.
An old man came in and tried to buy a case of beer, and I had to refuse due to his lack of ID. He said he obviously was over 21 (in his defense, he was). But our policy is no ID, no sale. He called me a cunt, and I said "when I was your age, we were respectful to cashiers".
I was cleaning the women's restroom and had a sign on it that said "closed for cleaning". A woman went in and came out complaining how disgusting they were. I replied " you're right, someone needs to put a closed sign on there and clean it. Wait...". She informed me I was very rude, asked for my manager, I told her he wasn't there. She asked for his cell number which I told her she would not be getting.
Was I a bit of a dick sometimes? Yeah. But I knew it would take a lot for them to fire me. Mostly because we had a lot of people who would never come in, and because of that I would end up working double or even triple shifts. I was a reliable person in a place that ran through people like water. I also did the work no one wanted to do. Finally, my boss just liked me, we only ever had one disagreement my entire time there, and he even admitted it was his fault.
I knew my worth and pushed my luck from time to time.
Worked in a call center help desk and we took the supervisor complaint calls. Woman called upset her TV wasn't working and we wouldn't be able to send someone out until the next day. She had gone through 2 other help desk people before me demanding someone come out and kept getting a "no". So I talk to her and tell her the same thing after calling our dispatchers and she wants another supervisor. I tell her that I'm it I'm the last sup, you've talked to them all.
After a few minutes of back and forth she gives up and I expect her to say something like "Fine, have a good day" or something. Instead she says "well you can go to hell". This was an hour long call, I'm tired, and so I say "You too, ma'ma, bye bye." It takes a split second for me to realize what I just said but by then it's too late and I'm already hanging up. As soon as I do the whole help desk section errups in laughter because they were all listening in. Including my boss. Thankfully she didn't call back to complain about it and our client never pulled the call at random.
TL;DR: Accidentally told a customer to go to hell.
I hate to be the "didn't say this to a customer, but" guy, but I said this in front of a coworker.
I'm about to get off work at the grocery store I work at and am telling a buddy I work with I'm gonna go grab some dinner after and head home. I tell him "gonna go to Walmart, grab some popcorn chicken, because I'm black-"
Beside me is a very heavyset black woman cashier with large bug eyes. I can feel her glaring at me. I just walk away to the back of the store.
Buddy follows me soon after telling me she is now extremely pissed because that's apparently the third race joke made in front of her that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could write it but itโs soooo cringe worthy.
Bartending at a small-ish club once. Guy is irate for essentially no reason, just decided to be a dick I guess. He asks to see my manager. I am the manager but I've had a bad day. "Okay, he's out at the loading dock follow me."
Guy walks out the back door. I close it behind him. We don't have a loading dock.
Told the bouncer not to let him back in. Felt pretty smug and actually never got in trouble for it. Worried about it for a few days though.
I worked at a retirement home, and I was on the assisted living side giving food to one of the residents. It was just before Christmas, and I had been talking about how she had cancer and it was pretty hard for her but she was excited because she was visiting her family for christmas.
As I was leaving I said "well if I don't see you again, merry christmas!"
I meant, if I don't see you before christmas but I realized it was probably a not so great thing to say to someone actively fighting cancer
Was a client and I didnโt say anything. Because I fell asleep while in a discussion with him :(
micdify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bank and it was 3 minutes to close on a Friday. Customer who never takes no for an answer wants us to send money overseas, which we canโt do for him and he knows it all too well. So when he insisted with the teller staff again, I have out and said โIโm locking the branch doors in 3 minutes- you will be on the other side of them!โ The girls had to hold in their laughter. Our bank is know for itโs outstanding Customer service, and we should never ever say something g like that! Totally satisfying though!
Kickin them out there store , they ended up messaging the ceo i still DGAF and went out that way a customer is not always right and a purchase does not confirm loyalty
During my first year of college, I worked as a sales associate at Banana Republic. I was the model sales person, I had "clients" that would repeatedly come back and ask to shop with me, I had their sizes memorized, and my managers LOVED me. There was even a letter posted up in our break room that a customer had written to corporate about me. Anyways, one day this lady was yelling at me because we didn't have a sweater in her size and I suggested we order it for her. After she went off for a few minutes, I don't know what came over me but I remember it felt like the whole store went silent the second I yelled, "DO YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK IF YOU BUY ANYTHING?" She just froze, dropped everything she was carrying and walked out.
dactyif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Couple at last call at the bar. Thick Irish accent, I ask them to leave and he says "I'm not leaving till the fat lady sings." without missing a beat I asked his wife why she wasn't belting out the national anthem.
A guy was buying stuff using his university ID. Since it was my first day on the job, I quickly checked the ID before scanning to verify that it was his. I saw a picture of a person (presumably female) with long hair so I immediately asked the guy if the "lady" gave him permission to use her card, but stopped mid way after realizing that the dude's facial structure is quite similar to the person in the ID. I quickly tried to change the convo topic but he caught on and forgave me. He also took off his hat and showed me his fancy long hair as proof that he was the owner of the ID lol
bestem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only realized how bad this was the next day.
I worked at an office supply store, and it was the beginning of the summer. We were supposed to have most of our back to school products out, but the huge corrugates we had to build to put all the product in had gotten misdelivered and it took some time for the supply chain to get us a replacement.
Our regional manager was coming, and we were 20 minutes from the airport, the closest store to the airport, so we were always a store that corporate came to when they came out. We knew he was coming, we'd spent the whole week cleaning the store, full-pulling all the merchandise, etc. We'd gone so far as to squeegee the windows and powerwash the carts. We finally got the corrugates in and I'd spent the day building them in my print center while my coworkers put them out and filled them as quickly as they could. My district manager was going to be picking up the regional manager at the airport the next morning, and bring him to our store at 10 am. My job for the rest of the night was to fill as much of the corrugate closest to the front of the store, in between ringing up customers. I had a couple carts of product next to the corrugate, and a third cart with empty boxes.
It was a slow night, and I was able to get quite a bit of product out. The empty boxes and other packaging were overflowing from the third cart. A customer came up to be rung up, and I made small talk with him while doing so, admitting that the regional manager would be in the next day and we were finishing getting our back to school set up before he got there.
The next day, 9 am there's an emergency conference call. Our regional manager had switched his flight to the previous night, and stopped by our store on his way to the hotel from the airport. He spent 30 minutes on the phone complaining to the district about the state of our store, and if that was the store that the district manager was the proudest to show off, then the rest of the stores had better up their game.
He was the customer I'd admitted to the night before that we weren't quite ready for the 10 am visit from our regional manager.
I worked at a vet. A client was incredibly upset after they euthanized their pet, and as they were leaving, out of habit, I said, โHave a great day!โ
Opt_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker. I used to work at a largely known copy shop. My coworker was helping a customer create a business card. She declined to see a proof as she was in a hurry and needed them the following morning. When a proof is declined, the customer signs a proof waiver stating that the copy shop is not liable for mistakes.
When she came back to pick up the cards, she noticed an error and complained. My coworker pointed out that she declined a proof. She said, "I guess I'm the idiot for waiving the proof then, huh?" My coworker responded, "At least you're being honest." I screamed internally. He was fired.
Had an elderly couple in for a photography session. Lady told me she had recently broke her hip falling off a table at a wedding. (!?!) My mind never consults with my mouth, and I said, "Well I hope you got enough money in your g-string to make it worth it." She was not amused. Husband laughed so hard I know he spent that night on the couch.
I was working in a call centre for Sky TV (a UK subscription Satellite TV service) and had this exchange (C = Customer, M= Me)
C: "Why has my Sky been turned off, I demand that it gets turned back on!"
M: "Ok, I can look into that for you - could you please give me your name and account details?"
C: "Fuck sake, you should know that from my telephone number!"
M: "We don't have the facility to link incoming calls to accounts, and even if we did I'd still need to confirm your details for data protection purposes"
C: "That's bullshit!"
M: "No, it's not. You can try calling back again later and speaking to someone else but you'll get the same answer."
C: "Load of shite!" proceeds to confirm details
M: "Ok, thanks for that. I can see you haven't paid your bill in three months so, unfortunately, you have been cut off."
C: "That's not fair - I demand that you turn me back on!"
M: "I can't do that unless you reduce the outstanding balance to less than one month's bill, which would mean you have to pay ยฃ90"
C: "Fuck off!"
M: "Being abusive doesn't change the fact that you haven't paid your bill and the system doesn't allow me to turn your account back on unless you pay two of the three outstanding months, which would be ยฃ90"
C (shouting): "I'm on Jobseeker's allowance (unemployment welfare for our American cousins) so I can't afford that! Turn my fucking TV back on!"
M: "Shouting, swearing and being rude doesn't change how our systems works I'm afraid. As you are on Jobseeker's you obviously have other spending which takes priority over your subscription, I can put you through to our cancellation team who will be able to get your account closed if you want"
C (shouting): "FUCK YOU! I'VE GOT TWO KIDS! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED?!"
M: "Well it is the middle of summer and you aren't working - you could always play with them outside rather than using the TV as a babysitter."
C: starts crying
M: "Oook, I'm going to get my manager".
My manager calmed her down, closed her account (with the outstanding balance waived - a standard thing for people in financial difficulties) and gave me a 30 minute break. During that time he listened to the call and, while what I said was out of order, he said he couldn't blame me for reacting so didn't log it officially.
Happened to my buddy, we worked together at a small diner and after he drops off the tab at a table of an elderly couple he attempts to say, โEnjoy the rest of your day!โ
Instead, what comes out is, โEnjoy the rest of your days!โ
Oops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During my first week as a cashier at stop and shop I was playing it super safe when it came to alcohol purchases so I asked what looked like a 55 year old woman for her ID. She jokingly said "I don't look over 21 to you?" and I said "Who knows? You could just be a really ugly teenager." She stopped laughing after that.
Used to work a pub, had a customer come in just about daily. Nice guy. Ended up becoming decent enough friends, but one day he disappeared. I heard from a mutual friend that he was arrested for dui. He gets out and I run into him at a restruant. He asked how I've been and what I've been up to and I say not much, only to respond with "what you been up to?" as soon as I finished I remembered jail. He'd been in jail. Needless to say, he just say oh this and that."
djabor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well if itt itโs going to be humblebrags, hereโs mine.
was a bartender at a famous bar in amsterdam. lennox lewis (big ass boxer) was there with his wife and ordered two orgasm shots and told me to give it to her.
my response was โi am not givig lennox lewisโ wifeโ an orgasm, you give it to her yourself.
I was once ringing out some customers and having a casual conversation about the weather with them. everything was great until I said "yeah, I'm not a fan of winter. in fact, the 9 cold months out of the year make me want to kill myself." I'm honestly still surprised to this day they didnt report me; they looked genuinely horrified.
also once I was googling something for a customer and tried to swipe my Facebook messages away and ended up showing him one of my nudes.
I was a cashier at Wal-Mart and a lady who looked like she was the wife to some biker came to my till. I love the badass leather look so I was complimenting her outfit. She did have some freakishly long fake nails, a length I had never seen before. I tried to compliment her on her badass appearance and I said, "just remember when you go crazy, I am on your side." Her shocked look said it all and 19 year old me died a little inside
i got stuck halfway in a customerโs driveway one day. his house was up a hill and my tailgate dug into the street in front of his house, leaving my back tires off the ground and unable to get out. lo&behold, he happens to come home for lunch as im stuck. i call my boss to say hey uhhh i fucked up, we get it out, and my boss is still on the phone with me.
boss says โhows the guy? is he mad?โ
i say โhold on boss, hes right here - sir are you mad?โ
boss is screaming into the phone wtf you dont ever ask a customer that!!! ๐
I worked at a liquor store in Colorado. There was a semi-regular customer who came in early in the morning, and I saw her just the night before. I said: โHaving an early one, huh?โ She just kind of faked a smile, paid, and left. The owner was within earshot and said: โYou work in a liquor store. Donโt ever say anything like that to one of my customers again.โ At that moment, with a red face, I knew I shouldnโt have said that.
Worked sales in a very busy contracting company where is should have been free to go meet customers to consult for new sales at a moment's notice, instead was shackled to a desk answering service calls all day that a dispatcher should have been fielding. As a result, doing my actual job was always interrupted by shit that wasn't my job every 10 minutes or so, and fighting dispatchers to do their actual job. One day I called back on a job and left a voicemail for maybe a $40 job follow up instead of selling a $3,000 job like I should have been able to. Before I hung up (thought I had, wearing a headset) I pretty much screamed GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF FUCKING TIME. On the VM. Called back to apologize on VM. Never heard back. Things are better these days now that I'm not there.
As a nursing student on an oncology floor, my patient asked me what show she should watch on Netflix. I suggested breaking bad. She said "yea but I have cancer so I dont want to watch a show about a guy with cancer." I immediately handed her the call-light and left the room.
A looong time ago, I worked as a computer repair tech in a small IT shop, and when not in the field, I had to provide contract phone support. One day I had forgotten to call a customer back so when I finally did, they had figured their issue out on their own.
I turned to my co-worker and laughed, saying "Hey, if you don't call them back for a while, they figure it out on their own!"
He replied, "Yeah, you mean like for a few minutes, right?"
I laughed and said, "No! I mean like hours!"
It was then I noticed he was looking kinda nervously over my shoulder. I turned to see the CEO of one of our larger contract clients.
A customer came up to the window and asked for a statement print out and a balance. These both require me to go into their account where I can see how much money they have and in this customerโs case, it was very little. As in, less than $1 little.
Well the customer begins telling me about how they just finished a long shift and were glad their boyfriend was picking them up and without thinking, I laughed and said โwell itโs not like you can afford the bus right nowโ.
Not what I said but what I did. When I still worked as a cashier during my training at a Big Retail Store I had a husband and wife come in my lane buying just a few items. I keenly observed that the husband had a prosthetic hand but in the shape of an actual hook. Now I had never really seen someone with an actual hook for hand before so I was intrigued and tried not to show my obvious curiosity by staring. When they left my lane however for some reason my brain decided to take one final glance at Mr. Hook Hand so I turned around to take a peek.
At the same time as Mr. Hook Hand turned around and made eye contact me as I was very obviously eyeing up his hook. He didnโt take this to kindly from the half second I saw before turning right back around to pretend I wasnโt staring but I definitely remember him having murder in his eyes and take two huge steps back toward my register before his wife dragged him out the store. Never have I been more terrified of being hooked from behind in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it. Iโm from the area and know your pain.
Customer: let me guess, didn't win? Lol thanks anyways.
Me: you won $673,000.00
mztd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a novelty shop in the mall. A kid comes in and buys a remote controlled machine toy that says insulting phrases with cuss words. I asked him if his parents would care that he's getting it and he assures me it's fine. So of course later on his dad comes in to return it, pissed I sold it to him. I said "I don't get paid to watch your child I get paid to sell things in this store." That made him even angrier. The best part though was this toy worked with other remotes, so while it's sitting at the register between us, someone presses a remote and it says, "you're an asshole!!" He thought it was me at first, but when I explained how it worked we both had a laugh about it. I then explained how his punk kid told me he'd be ok with him buying the damn thing to begin with!
I work in a womens clothing store and I was exhausted on this day from general sleepless nights and working alone without a break because my lunch staff was sick.
An old lady came to the counter to buy her items. I had helped her out several times during her visit but for the life of me I couldn't remember a SINGLE thing we'd talked about. Like I said, I was really tired that day. I did remember something though = she was going to some very important event tomorrow (god knows what it was though).
I couldn't remember what the event was, so in an effort to pry some information from her, and get a conversation going at the counter, I asked the generic 'customer is going to an event' line and asked:
"So, are you excited for tomorrow!?" :)
That's when I remembered:
She was going to her mother's funeral.
I was working at a Toyota/Lexus dealership set in the service department. We had just begun a new thing where we were told that Lexus customers no longer got free rental vehicles for minor services but could rent one. I had a customer call in and as I was scheduling his appointment I was telling him he could rent a vehicle. He asked what I meant by a rental in a slightly offended tone. My brain did not catch the tone, so I told him that a rental car is a car you have to pay to drive around, it goes vroom vroom.
Then I realized what I said, and he took a minute to process it. My co-workers were looking at me completely horrified, like what the fuck did I just say? My boss was even squinting at me. And then I was like, fuck I'm sorry and he demanded to speak to my manager. She spent over an hour on the phone with him trying to placate him.
The policy changed back to "give Lexus customers whatever" very quickly.
Everyone laughed about it after but in the moment it was awful, lol.
When asked, "what's your BEST price?" I pointed at the sales price and said, "that's MY best price because I'll get paid the most from that. So I don't think you want to know my best price. What's yours?"
There was this obese lady who came up to my counter (Iโm fat as well, it had nothing to do with being fat) and she brought up this purple nail polish and I said, โoh what was nice colour, it reminds me of beauty and the beastโ well she was super angry and i was embarrassed. Iโm asssuming she thought I was saying sheโs fat or a beast. But legit, it reminded me of the purple on the cover.
Kyser_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a candy/ice cream store that also made fudge. I was making some on the table one day and this guy comes up and is like "Wow that's so cool! Can I help?!" and I'm like why don't I be nice today?
So I try to say "Yeah! You can try a sample when I'm done and tell me if it's any good!" All he hears is "Yeah!" and he busts through my little wooden gate door thing, grabs the fudge paddle off the table and promptly sneezes all over the fudge.
I work in a nice-ish restaurant and I was dropping food off to a table that wasnโt in my section. As I was finishing off the โis there anything else I can doโ the table next to me continued to talk at me. After Iโd finished with the table I was serving I turned around to give them the attention they so desperately wanted.
They asked for water because apparently they hadnโt been given any in โat least 20 minutesโ which is a joke because my friend who was working that section had topped them all up less than 5 minutes ago.
Of course they didnโt just ask for water. They phrased it like we were tying to purposely dehydrate them, and then after I responded with โIโll be right back with the jugโ he shoved his empty water glass in my face and said โwaterโ โwaterโ wattterrrโ. I felt very disrespected by this as he was an older man sitting with 3 other adults and he had his โIโm talking to a thick person voice on. So after heโd finished getting the word water out of his mouth 5 times I replied with โyes, funnily enough I do know what water isโ and wakes away.
I then immediately topped up their water despite it not being my section and carried on with everything else I had to do. When theyโd finished their meal they talked to my boss about how disrespectful I was and about how I need to be fired. Jokes on them because Iโm the best waitress in this place and thereโs no way my boss would get rid of me for just that.
I almost spilt tea on a man out dining with his wife. I made a joke about "not wanting to pour a drink on your husband. I'll wait and let u do that." Kind of joke. They just glared at me. Oops.
In college I worked as a campus tour guide. One of those people that walk backwards and tell some of the history and facts about the school to prospective students and their parents. Got to the gym one day and started talking about all the awesome things the gym had...and then I decided to share a story about when I was running on one of the treadmills and got electrocuted. I was running and kept getting shocked by the ungrounded equipment. The entire time Iโm telling the story Iโm trying to think how to say something else, but needless to say. I didnโt see those parents or those kids at the school again.
Trovski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a stock boy at a grocery store. I have trouble deciphering accents. The particular woman I was helping had a thick Chinese background English accent.
She came up to me and asked if she can have my cock... I looked down at the aforementioned area, and said you're not allowed. The woman got offended and asked to see the manager. Turns out she just wanted some coca cola (coke) . Laughed it off, but at the time I was embarrassed ๐
Customer called to asked if we had an item in stock. When she said it was black and blue, I responded with "just like my bruises". I heard silence for a few seconds and was terrified that she would want to speak with my manager (she didn't). We didn't have the item in stock.
I was serving this couple at the burger joint I work at. They were nice, peppy, and giggly. The best kind of customer, really. So we were joking around as they ordered, and at the end, I asked for a name for the order. He looks at here and says "Bitch." I laughed. "Haha, she's such a bitch, hey?" He looked me dead in the eye and said "I said Mitch." Quickly finished their order, apologised and never served them again.
At the hotel I used to work in, we had this problem guest. It was a cheap hotel, so we had a lot, but this guy was really bad. Everything was a fucking argument with this guy.
We'd been extremely busy and understaffed, and were all worn down to the wire. It happened to be my turn to deal with the guy. Everyone else had kept putting off putting him in his place because they were too busy to be bothered. Unfortunately for him, that day I found the time to deal with him.
He extended his reservation online, but didn't come to the desk to get his paperwork in order. We need signatures and things from guests on file, it's very important to have documentation that they have agreed to the hotel's policies.
After check out time I finally managed to get ahold of him and reminded him he needed to get these things handled before check out time, which was noon. He said he would come to the desk when he got back to the hotel. And he did come to the desk, but said his ID and card were in his room, and he needed a new key. So I got him the new key, but told him he had to come right back with his ID and card. Ten minutes pass, he's nowhere.
So I call his room phone and he tells me he'll come down when he wants to. I tell him no, I need him to come to the desk immediately. He says he'll be down in a few. I had other things to deal with, he never showed and didn't answer his phone. A little while later, I spotted him on the camera talking to a housekeeper. I chased him down and demanded that he come to the desk and get his paperwork done. He whined that I wasn't treating him like a valued customer.
And it just slipped out. He started yelling and bitching, I evicted him, police were called. My manager, after I explained the situation, asked me not to do that again. I was later promoted to Front Desk Manager.
BigMoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pet store and one morning the phone rang so I answered, for essentially no reason whatsoever, 'Thanks for calling Pet Supplies Plus, so what are you doing~?' like I was running a hotline.
I was working in tech support at the time and I had a VERY angry woman on the line. She was mad at everything and I was the one she wanted to take it out on. Now I want to be clear this was clearly a woman on the line.
She kept talking over me and trying to find new reasons to be mad. I have appologized many time at this point the typical "I am sorry ma'm, let fix that for you" after the sixth time or so she was made at that too and yelled "I AM NOT A MA'M! STOP CALLING ME MA'M!!" my brain was checked out at this point and before my internal censor kicked in I said "I am sorry sir....."
I just stopped there for a moment expecting the screaming for a supervisor. But the odd thing was it never came and from that point on actually let me speak and fix her problem. Never heard anything back from that which I kept expecting too for a longtime.
I used work in software sales for a big fortune 20 company. I went to a very well-known bank to sell one of our products. I was setting up the demo systems with a coworker in an empty conference room before presenting to some of the bank's IT executives. My coworker and I were going back and forth on how crappy this bank's workspace is in the IT department (a zip code of cubicles, restrooms are always full, etc). I thought it was just us but turns out the TV just on sleep mode. There was already a video conference session started with the stakeholders in a different location. They heard everything.
Yeah, I went pale once I turned the TV on to see these executives and their assistants sitting there silently. Nobody brought anything about it up, so I thought the mic was muted with the TV was off. After presenting, we usually go home and wait a bit for other vendor selection processes to finish. Got the call 3 weeks later from one of the IT executives telling us they are going to go through with the contract process (yay!). At the very end of the call, he said ' thanks for the presentation; it really helped us understand <product>. By the way, we are working on fixing the bathrooms.' and you can hear the other people in the conference room they were sitting in giggling a little bit.
Everything worked out fine, and AFAIK management at my company never heard that story. I will never forget about that meeting.
A guy would come in all the time ask why we don't have a product or he can get it cheaper at another store. One day sick of his shit just turned to him and told him to fuck of there and tell him waitin4mayhem said hi.
Don't know who was more shocked him, me or the exclusive brethren I was actually serving
I work in a Copy Center as a supervisor and one very early morning, we were a bit busy and this extremely rude lady interrupted me helping another customer to yell that she didn't know how to use the fax machine. No biggie, this literally happens 5+ times a day. I politely explain that the instructions are just to her left and if she wants to give it a shot and read them, I'd be over after I was done with the customer I was already helping. She cuts me off and yells, "I can't do that."
"Ma'am, if you'd just give me a moment and read the instructions-"
"I can't do that!"
"You can't read?!"
Best part was the customer I was already helping laughed so hard he snorted.
Used to work at the big box store with the blue and yellow logo and the smiley face. I worked in the Electronics Department and a guy came up to me asking about phone cards for prepaid phones. I was having a really bad day and my filter was absolutely gone. So he's holding two cards, and I don't remember the amount but let's say one was $30 and the other was $50. He asks me what the difference between the two cards are. My mouth worked a lot faster than my brain did and I said, totally deadpan, "20 dollars." He was not happy. I quickly realized how unprofessional I was being, apologized, and explained the true differences between the cards. I was lucky he didn't go to a manager.
I used to work at subway that had a random pole in the middle of it. A small group of customers came in, and one pointed at the pole asking โdoes it get rowdy after close here?โ My response was yeah โactually yes, we just had to get that reinforced for your mother.โ I clicked at how rude it was and was a bit worried what his response would be, but when his friends burst out laughing I figured I was safe.
Local Japanese restaurant, working as a host to help the new girls at the desk. Reservation for 18 for the hibachi grills, time comes and no one in sight. No grace period policy. Slammed otherwise, so seat the next available group.
Woman comes in immediately asking to sit down at her table.
Shit.
"Okay, sure, we'll seat you in 10 minutes."
"But my reservation was for 6. Not 6:10."
"Well your reservation was for 6 and now it's 6:02 so I'll seat you in 10 minutes."
Came back from an awesome holiday of camping and snorkling to work in a popup stall, I was stopping people at events to get them tp buy fruit and veg and I muttered loud enough under my breath, I actually don't give a fuck. Pretty dire she heard it, wasn't intentional though
Finally my time to shine. A few years ago, I had these 2 Asian women come into the restaurant I worked in. They both spoke little English and had a heavy Asian accent. So I get them set up and take their order. It's hard to understand even a full sentence from either of these women, but I finally get their pizza put into the POS and wait for it to come out. When I go to drop off their food I ask them if they needed anything else, and one of them just make a shaking motion with her hand. I figured she meant she wanted Tabasco, but without thinking I say "Oh you want soy sauce?" And instantly freeze up. Knowing full well what I just said, I start apologizing and babbling on and try to make a joke but they just sat there and kept making the shaking motion. Luckily nothing ever came of it, but my old work now tells that story to most of their regulars. Most seem to get a kick out of it.
k_fudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but an employee I managed...
Worked at a bank, elderly customer came in and asked for a large withdrawal of all large bills. It was pretty standard procedure to try and figure out what the withdrawal was for etc etc.
Customer: Iโm buying something for my wife.
EE: well thatโs lovely! What for?
Customer: itโs our 70th wedding anniversary!
moon eyes
EE, as straight faced as can be: Iโm sorry.
The poor old man was completely thrown off until I took over the transaction. He was happily married, my employee was a cynic who forgot her filter.
I can't remember specifics but I've said some things that either piss off customers or put us at liability just because the way I worded things. It freaking sucks. Been awhile thankfully.
Got into a shouting match with a customer while i was working cash. He was trying to be a white knight and I had enough of peoples shit that day so I gave him lip. We went back and forth and I realized I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth when I realized he was only 2 ft away from my face and could throw a punch.
Tuutori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work as a bouncer for this a little bit fancier bar/restaurant where beers were something like 6-7 euros and drinks even more. The gig was sweet as people were usually friendly and the atmosphere was nice. But we also had an admission fee of 2 euros. And because of that I got pretty quickly tired of hearing "That's too much, we're going somewhere else. Give us a discount. We are not paying that. Etc". The problem was, that admission fee was my fucking salary and many times I pointed this out. But a lot of people were still basically saying they don't think I should get paid that 'much' even though the beers and drinks were much more costly. People could easily throw away 100 euros to get drunk but 2 euros for the security services was too much.
Well, I finally got fed up and started to answer every "We are going to some place else if we have to pay" with 'Good. We don't want any broke ass people here. This is a nice place.'
It took a couple of months but finally people started to complain and after the restaurant could secure a decent replacement I was let go but I didn't give a shit. If you can't pay 2 euros for your safety but can invest hundreds to get drunk and possibly become a problem for others and especially me, fuck you.
Use to work in a pub and the landlords complaint of the week was that we weren't being careful enough checking IDs for underaged drinkers.
Because the landlord was sitting at the bar, when a couple entered the pub and ordered two drinks I felt I should ID them to show I was taking it seriously.
What left my mouth however was "Can I see some ID for your little boy" to which the rather large, now irate gentleman respond "That's my wife!"
To be fair, she was very short and had short hair, but upon further inspection she was clearly female and not a child.
I didn't feel I had a choice but to bluff it out and insist on seeing the ID.
The landlord and the customers had great fun with that one for quite some time.
A customer came in to return a mini space heater. I scanned his receipt but it said he'd already returned it. When I told him, he pulled out a stack of receipts and says he's bought this heater seven times because none of them worked and I should try scanning another one. I stupidly said "Why do you keep it buying it then, if it never works?" He went into a rage about how I need to stop asking so many fucking questions and it's none of my damn business and I need to just do my fucking job.
I shouted FUCK YOUโRE STUPID MOTHER unprovoked into his face and casually walked out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a hotel. Last summer I had this lady come in- super needy, basically expecting 5 star full staff service from a 3 star hotel with one guy working front desk overnight.
She had asked a lot of questions about parking, which I had tried to answer as politely as possible, then she needed me to let her in the back door even though her key opens it.
I tried to ask very politely, "were you able to figure out a parking spot?"
Instead my mouth said, "Were you able to figure out how to park?"
Thankfully being a rich bitch she heard what she wanted anyway, which was apparently something to the tune of, "we cleared out a parking spot."
This happened the other day. I bartend at an exclusively touristy restaurant. I was wicked busy between the bar being 2 deep and doing service orders. While at the service station making several cocktails at once a woman who was probably in her 60s but very attractive for her age asked me how long I'd been working there. I told her almost a decade and she told me that she didnt think i was that old...I responded that she didnt look as old as she was either...and slunk away avoiding eye contact until she left
I used to sell TV's and an older man, maybe late 60's was buying one. I asked if was interested in our 5 year warranty and gave the little spiel. He said I won't be around that long. So I jokingly said "oh don't say that, you look spry". He said no, I have terminal cancer.... finished up is paper work with out another word. Had no idea how to handle that.
Working as a front end supervisor at a big box hardware store, I was on my way down to the lumber registers and noticed a large line, which meant I had to hop on a register myself. Guy at the back of the line stops me and explains how we need to get some help around here, this line is too long, on and on. I explain that is exactly what I'm doing and that I can't force people to show up for their shifts. He ends up coming to the second line I just opened up, and keeps on bitching as if that 2 minutes he waited to check out was the worst thing that had happened to him in his life. Still repeating that we need to hire people around here as if I have control over that, or even my bosses (they dont.) He finally gives me the classic "this never happens at (competitor)" and still drones on, making the people wait behind him. I had enough and just told him "best I can tell you is to just go to (competitor.) Its not my fault that everyone decided to check out at the same time, nor can I control staffing. I'll see you in here next week" He just walked out at that point, steaming and cussing from pure anger.
Happened just today. My manager and was behind the register while I was hanging some clothes right next to the register. She made small talk with the customer (mother, father, college daughter), and they got onto the topic of the family being from Rhode Island. I blurted out that, due to a personal experience from online gaming, I never wanted to visit that state. The mother responded with, "Well, I'm in Oklahoma." I'd already been kinda rude, but my stupid fucking brain hit autopilot, so I blurted out, "I didn't ask you to be here."
THANKS BRAIN. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
Rudest thing I have EVER said to a customer, and I'm a friendly worker. I don't know what fucking happened to me. I've been pretty off all day, too.
So sorry to you, ma'am. Worst part is that it didn't click in my mind how rude I just was by saying that until they had been gone 5 minutes. Never apologized. I feel so bad.
I work in a pharmacy as a technician and a lady who was a regular came to pick up her prescription. While retrieving her meds I noticed her husband also had one ready so I asked if she also wanted to pick his up. She questioned what it was and after the routine hippa verification questions I let her know it was viagra. She immediately got pissed and told me that they havenโt had sex in years so why is he getting that. Several weeks later she came back and told me she had filed for a divorce because he was cheating on her for a long time. I guess I donโt feel bad it happened but I definitely feel weird knowing that I broke up a marriage.
Plumber here, was doing service for a company and got called out to the aboriginal community in town. This place is owned by this old guy. Everytime I go there he is always Nickle and diming. So I had just finished up clearing this lady drain and she asked if I could take a look at her sink upstairs. Get up there take a look around. There is a cracked trap adapter which is kinda a huge issue. I report this back to the customer and say "I would be able to fix this today I just need to get authorization from your cheapo landlord." go back out to my truck and I get a quote together for her. This black Subaru pulls into the driveway of this place and who walks out but the cheapo landlord. I get back in there and it was super embarrassing. Apparently that was his daughter.
I used to sell dresses for special occasions. A girl with very bright red dyed hair came in looking for a grad dress. I suggested we look at gem tones like deep green and blue to compliment her red hair. Her mom points at a bright red dress and I say something along the lines of โred might clash with her hair colourโ. The girl turns around with a sad face and I notice the armful of bright red dresses she was carrying. I felt awful.
I work in a haunted house. My character is not nice and very insulting. Customers are very aware of what they're in for and they enjoy getting lippy back. Well my very first year some high school girl was talking all big and I told her to get moving. She or one of the other kids said "you're not my mother!" And I completely in character said "if I was I'd have killed myself by now". They all dropped their jaws and promptly did what they were told and continued. Found out the main girl I was talking to's mother had actually just committed suicide a couple weeks before...
When I worked at Build a Bear this 5 year old kid repeatedly kept asking me questions. I'm not the best with kids (ironic considering where I worked) so I assumed the woman that was with him was him mom. I told him "why dont you ask your mom about buying this bear?" And he told me "my mommy died and my daddy is in jail so my nana takes care of me." Safe to say I never assumed the relationship of a child to an adult after that.
V3RV1C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady paid for shredded mulch bags and we only had nuggets because it was the last day of the sale. She was pissed and demanded I load her vehicle with the shredded mulch to which I replied "Well, I can't just make it magically appear!"
She froze for about 5 seconds when a co worker stepped in and broke the silence offering to help her get a refund.
She didn't tell my manager and I didn't get in trouble, but I regret saying it because I sounded so ... sassy and condescending lol.
In college I had a internship with senator Russ Feingold. At the same time I was working full time at an auto parts store. One day when answering the phone at the senator's office it happened, I couldn't tell my worlds apart and I said "Bumper to Bumper, can I help you?" and of all the damn luck it was Feingold's office manager calling to check in on things.
While I was cashiering a woman in line asked the woman in front of her how many months pregnant she was. She said she wasn't pregnant. She leaves and I say, "It's okay ma'am, I thought she was pregnant too!" Then I turn to see the not pregnant woman had forgotten one of her bags... and she heard me. Rekt. In my defense, you shouldn't be that fat.
I'm late, this'll be buried. I'd worked doubles and was so tired and burned out. A customer asked if we did Buy one get one. ... Uh yeah. So I ring up her items and she asks again about the buy one get one since she was being charged for 2. "Yeah, if you buy one.. you get one... Cause that's what you bought. " She wasn't happy. I wasn't happy.
I was a sandwich artist. I worked with a guy named Libby who had spent about a year in the slammer for a drug fueled police chase and take down. Libby was addicted to opiates which stemmed from a broken arm and a prescription, and a generally wild lifestyle to begin with.
When I worked with him he was addicted to heroin and frequently going through withdrawl at work. We got along surprisingly well and one thing he and I both despised was when customers would come up and dismissively refer to either one of us as 'boss.'
"Hey, boss, how much for a hot dog?" said one goof.
I said something like, "We don't sell hot dogs."
As the goof shrugged and started walking away, Libby put his arm around the goof's shoulder and nonchalantly walked with him to the door. When he came back he said he told the goof not to call him boss again. One of many general crazy moments with him that somehow never amounted to anything more than a lecture from a manager. Still he shouldn't have done that, but I am happy he did. I miss Libby.
I worked in fast food. A woman came to the counter wearing a necklace with a large, flecked, purple amulet. It caught my eye and I thought it was pretty, so I said, "I like your necklace!"
Years ago I worked at a call center. We had scripted lines for everything. Itโs so scripted you go full autopilot. One time, as I was about to get off a call, I was texting my then GF (now wife). We get to then end and instead of say โThank you for calling XXX Iโm glad I was able to resolve your issuesโ I simply said โGreat! Love you byeโ took me 2 seconds to realized what I said. I panicked and hung up (which is a no no, too) I look around left to right and meet eyes with my cube mate and I hear a โ...I love you bye?โ
First week on the phones for a cell company lady wanted her termination fee waived.
Ma'ma there are three ways I'll wiave your fee. You move to area where we don't have service, you said ur upside down on your house so that's not happening. You join the military are are stationed outside the US, or 3. If you die. Given by your age I doubt either 2 or 3 will happen either.
My trainer was ready to take the call. But it worked I deescalated it. I was proud I new our terms he was mortified I told a customer it stone face.
Lady wanted to take to the "owner"
No problem please hold..... .... ... Hi you still there? Great! I did some research, turn out we are publicly traded company. I own 3000 shares. I'm an owner how can I help you?
This is the wrost new line of work.
Lady calls in her dad had died. She didn't know. Just knew was sick. I wasn't the person assisgned their account
so I see here we are waiting for you to pick a funeral home, are you calling with that information or have another question?
Dead silence, then mass crying, then I went home for the day because I was in shock.
I was working at chick fil a in the mall and I randomly sang the lyrics to survivor by destinys child to a co worker. I gave him his food and he called me jerk and snatched the bag out of my hand. Friend told me he had on a cancer survivor tshirt.
I work at Olive Garden and a couple said they didn't want cheese and my natural respond was to question why they didn't like to party.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a cashier at a grocery store. On the conveyor belt once there was a Pepsi, followed by bleach. Now usually, when there is a drink we ask "would you like the drink left out?".
Dumb ass me picks up the bleach and says "would you like your drink left out?". Instant regret. This was around the whole Amanda Todd situation so bleach drinking was on everyone's mind.
Customer leaves the store without buying anything, and later my manager asks me what I was thinking. I explained what happened, and I already had a pretty good track record with my manager so I got off alright. NEVER made the same mistake again, and still have the job.
Old habits die hard! I was a hostess for a restaurant when I was 16 and at that time we had smoking and non-smoking sections, so Iโd always ask โSmoking or non?โ Fast forward a few years (smoking in restaurants had since been prohibited) and I started bartending at a different restaurant. We were short a hostess for a night so I picked up the shift to help out. I had not been a hostess for over 5 years, I had completely forgotten that smoking was even a thing in restaurants. But of course, out of habit.. the very first thing that came out of my mouth after asking how big the party was, was โSmoking or non?โ The customer gave me a weird look and said, โI donโt think you need to ask that anymore.โ I instantly apologized and I know my face turned completely red. My manager witnessed the whole thing and we had a good laugh about it afterwards but wow, was it embarrassing at the time!
A lady I was fairly close too in the store I work at saw that Iโve been gaining a lot of weight lately and said โwow youโve gained weight and youโre so pret-โ and I quickly cut her off and said โthanks, you gained weight tooโ
I cashiered for a lady holding a baby in one arm and at the end she loaded all the grocery bags on the other. I said, "you need another arm," laughing, and was confused when she shot me a look. She turned to leave and I saw her baby only had one arm..
I worked at a KFC/A&W joint for my first job. Couldnโt have been more than my fifth day and this really awkward girl comes in. Iโm 16 at the time and think sheโs cute af. And better, she has an accent!! So I ask where sheโs from? And she insists sheโs from here. I insist she has a great accent and I must know where itโs from!
She didnโt have an accent. She had a birth defect and a lisp.
Itโs been 7 years and that shame still burns my soul.
Lady screaming about her phone not working (she had an old copper line that was beyond repair so they are installing fiber optic line in 2 days, at 0 cost to her) she doesn't have her account information so if I cannot verify it cannot see any information or make any changes to help her. She stopped for a second to catch her breath and says, "oh this is not about you, it is the company's fault" to what I reply "... Well I'm the one you are screaming at!, have you thought about that?" She then resumed her yelling now directly at me
Had pretty much the same. Woman yelling, "I'm not mad at you I'm mad at 'Cellphone company' but I have to take it out on somebody." Legit one of the biggest assholes I've ever had the displeasure of assisting.
At the beginning she was trying to get some empathy/pity with the classic "I'm old and live alone" bullshit by the time that call was over I knew why, crazy old bag
I worked for a large chain restaurant in a small city (50k). One woman lost her mind because she had to wait 2.5 minutes for her order at the drive thru window. She ordered more food than the press could hold and they take over a minute each.
Said she was going to take her business to the competitor (other identical store) down the road. I looked her dead in the eyes and said "ma'am, they have the exact same owner."
I was always known for being overly friendly to even the worst customers, so I think management was just too shocked to berate me for it.
vks0217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidently said "Enjoy the rest of your life" instead of "Enjoy the rest of your day" to a kind elderly customer
I worked at a store that sold video games. Some parents came in to buy a copy of GTA5 for their 10 year old son. They said that he had played it over at a friend's house and now wanted a copy, but they were concerned because of its rating. They wanted to know how bad it was. I told them it was pretty mature. They said they didn't care about some aspects of "mature" such as violence or stealing cars, but I said it went way beyond violence and that I wouldn't recommend it for anyone that young.
Still they were not convinced, so I had to lay it out for them straight. I took them aside, and I told them (very quietly) that you can get a nice car and go to certain parts of town where you can pick up a hooker, then take her to an alley and after she does her thing, which you at least partially witness, you can then follow her after she gets out of the car, hit her with a bat until she falls down, then take your money back. I held off from saying "that isn't nearly as bad as the torture scene."
Suffice to say they did not buy the game that day and decided to have a word with the parents of their son's friend.
I was working a massage booth at a health convention and was in charge of line management. I directed the next women in line to the chair for pregnant women. She responds with "I'm not pregnant".
๐
micvac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker was cleaning up an ilse in our grocery store and he overheard a costumer ask another employee where the dattes were.
To which my friend, from the other end of the ilse (about 8 meters or 24ish feet), basically screamed "they're in the calendar!"
Both the employee and the costumer wanted to end him.
Tl;dr: my friend made a pun about dattes and the calendar.
I apologize if there are any spelling errors anr other errors, english is unfortunately not my first language.
So I work for a food ware house and rarely have to deal with customers, but they ask me to help out the delivery drivers fairly frequently and I agree because it's a pretty great break from the warehouse. The one downside is having to deal with chefs when there order's been fucked up.
Any way one time a chef was going through and checking his order, pretty standard because shit happens. When he goes to inspect a block of cheese he spots a spot of mould smaller around than a pencil, and starts complaining as if it's my fault (cheese is the fridge I worked freezer, besides he didn't know I was from the warehouse). At the end of his first rant which was about 10 minutes long he asks me what he's supposed to do about it, my response was to just cut that bit out. That was my first "I should not have said that" moment.
The second moment happened after a second rant this time closer to half an hour and involved a lot of insults and me barely being able to get a word in. Eventually I got fed up and said "you look cute when your angry". You know that face people make when they are pissed but you've done something to make them laugh and they're trying to hold it back, that's the face I got from him before walking away. At that point I basically knew or though I knew I was going to get fired.
The best part my boss thought it was fucking hilarious and bought me a case of cider.The chef was an asshole and a bully and that (and his staff nicknaming him cutie) apparently knocked him down a peg because he was more polite after that.
TL;DR: called angry chef cute, thought I would get fired, boss rewarded me with booze
Retail worker here in the busiest store in the mall. It was the holidays, so extra amped. Iโm multitasking with two different customers and a third customer happens to catch me as I walk away for a minute to go grab something. Obviously a little flustered, I tell her Iโm already working with two people and then point at my coworker across the room, who appears to be available.
Me, trying to sound playful, but coming out sarcastic af: โSee that guy over there? Go bug him.โ
I'm British, was working in a McCafe in Australia. Spilt boiling water on my hand and on instinct gasped 'argh bloody hell bollocks!' in pain.
Despite the injury, I was most concerned that the customer that heard me was going to tell my boss and have me sent home/possibly sacked for swearing in front of her. Instead, she burst out laughing, said it was the most British thing she'd ever heard and that she was going to use that phrase in conversation from now on.
Aside from the burn blister for a week after, it went pretty well.
Was working at best buy covering the asset protection guys lunch. Mainly you great customers and watch the cameras. A couple walks in and I go to "Hey folks how are you doing today?" Only I said "Hey fucks how are you doing today?" I froze knowing what I said. They froze comprehending what I said. I had know idea how this was going to turn out. Luckily they just started laughing. Stopped using folks after that
Working a busy Friday night at one of those build-your-own pizza places. I was the guy who got the pizzas as they came out of the over and cut them, added any sauce or arugula at the end, and then shouted out the name of the pizza whose it was.
I always tried to be able to make small talk here and there for people waiting nearby or regulars I had made friends with, but sometimes there really wasn't much of a second to spare. During a particularly bothersome and busy night a customer came up a few times within a minute to complain that his pizza wasn't out yet.
He exclaimed, "...and now my wife is sitting there eating while I am waiting!"
To which I replied quickly without thinking. "I don't give a shit."
Luckily my manager knew the stress of the night and I was just sent home for the night, but I remember the immediate feeling as I said the words.
Was a store manager at a phone store, customer getting a new phone said they don't need a screen protector this time since they've never broken one before.
I said "Just because you've never gotten pregnant doesn't mean you stop using condoms."
One of my employees just turned and looked at me, then we all observed a moment of silence.
I worked in a furniture store. A guy with an eye patch came in and was browsing around. I asked him if he was looking for anything in particular or did something catch his eye.
I work in the โgourmetโ section of a dept store. A customer came in looking for a round cake pan in a specific size, which I was out of stock in. I knew that more stock was coming in, so I let the customer know that โIโm sure Iโll get that 9โ one in for you real soonโ.
Gas station employee here. We have a recycle bin for cans and beer bottles that people can just drop off when they hoard a few of their finished beverages and get a few cents. It's pretty simple and since it's rarely more than a case or a small plastic bag, we have to count them whenever they come in requesting their change. If they have a significant amount of cans/bottles, there's a grocery store next door that has a machine to count it, which is where we direct them when we see cars pull up with 20 cases of beer and 10 bags of miscellaneous cans. They're rarely happy about it.
Anyways, there was this monumental prick who came in at 3AM, on a bike, real hobo looking, with a hitched trailer containing 3 full industrial size garbage bags of cans. Comes in, says he has 20$ worth of cans (I can't just take his word for it at this point, it's a significant amount) and after a good 15 minutes of arguing, I decide to make him waste his time like he's wasting mine and go about to count close to 300 cans one by one.
I'm fuming and honestly pretty tired of his shit when he drops this sarcastic gem: "Does it take a degree to work in gas station ?"
I automatically reply, without thinking for a second: "Does it take a degree to pick up cans to pay for booze ?"
He didn't say a single word afterwards and I never saw him again. Fucking asshole...
Years ago I was working at a movie theater in the box office. The manager was making us push these $1 donations for some charity, where you place your name on a star and it is hung around the theater. A customer asked me what they are for. I said, "I don't know I think it helps starving orphans or something." The customer says, "oh well you're going to make me feel bad for not buying one." And I just shot back, "well if you want to feel bad, if you buy a star we save an orphan, if you don't we kill one." All of a sudden I hear "WHAT?!?" Turns out the manager was in the adjacent counting room the entire time. I shouted, "it's okay, he's laughing and he just bought one."
I had a lady who must have called the hotel 5 times in 2 hours confirming and reconfirming the price..I told her everything about paying including the deposit for cash. She came in with no deposit and proceeded to flip out that I wouldn't rent her a room without it, saying I never told her that it was required blah blah blah and then at 2am she wants to talk to the manager. Well technically at night the auditor is default manager to our place mainly because the manager is also a college student and the owner a older man..neither want to be woken at 2am for stupid stuff..so I said "I'm the manager and its too late for this grifter shit so get out of my lobby before I call the police and have you removed."
I got my first personalized bad review and my manager thought it was hilarious
I worked for my dad's computer repair company. Geek Squad before Best Buy made it a nationwide service. We had been working with this woman for, as I recall, two weeks. Making multiple trips out to her home to try and diagnose an ongoing issue with her computer. I was a teenager, probably 17 at the time. And after two weeks we finally figured out the problem (I have no memory of what it was.)
She was a kind woman, a bit odd, and she said something like "Well, hope to see you soon!" Joking as I'd been to her house like 5 times in the last two weeks. And I, being the witty and genuinely trying to be witty in response says, "Well, I hope I never see you again!"
She never called us for computer support again. I tell myself it's because she never had troubles again, but I have to think my joking response did not land and if a serviceman said that to me now that I'm a grown adult - I probably wouldn't call them back either.
Lady came in with a cracked screen starting from impact point. Clearly dropped. Started demanding a new free screen protector when I said no she demanded to know what she could do about it.
A couple was dining on our patio and the woman waved me over. She pointed out that there was an ant in her mac and cheese. It was clearly not something that came from our kitchen, as it was still alive and walking across a noodle. I told her, "It probably fell out of the sky."
xhaydnx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I๏ธm a cashier and a man on the larger side was coming in the weekend after Thanksgiving buying lots of Tupperware and I๏ธ asked, โare those for the leftovers?โ And he replied that they were for meal planning. I๏ธ felt horrible for the rest of the week and now rarely engage in conversation unless they start it first.
Eriflee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Client: My CEO's name is Brad
Me: B. R. A. T?
Client: NO!
Halomir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โWell, Rob. Youโre putting me in a tough position, because you know what I have to say and I know that wonโt fix the problem. Itโs like when youโre wife walks in and asks you if the jeans make her look fat. Thereโs only one right answer. You donโt even have to look. So can I say the right thing and promise to get it done as fast as possible?โ
Working as a server when I walked up to a table eating lunch and heard mid-sentence "So that's why my wife was chewing ice" to which my immediate response, like a reflex almost "Oh for sexual frustration?" The entire table of co-workers that weren't already listening, whipped their heads around and stared at me like I had just insulted his dead mother. He explained that she was pregnant and it was a sign of some sort of vitamin deficiency. Small tip from that table.
iesma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call centre for a water company and used to have a lot of challenging calls from people disputing their bill.
One day I had a particulaly difficult one, and for whatever reason I couldn't keep a lid on my frustration so let out a very audible 'Jesus fucking christ'.
There was a slight pause, then '...what?'
Then my fumbling panicked apology, 's-sorry, uhh...'
Then 'I think I'd like to speak to your manager RIGHT NOW.'
Thought I was getting fired that day, suddenly pictured myself jobless and unable to pay rent, sweated and worried for five minutes while the manager handled the call, but in the end managed to get by with a fairly severe warning.
Iโm late but thatโs okay bc Iโll probably get shit for โbeing racistโ. I worked at a store that had a lot of stolen credit card theft and a lady was trying to buy a few couple hundred dollar gift cards, but couldnโt speak English so was having a hard time communicating. She handed me her credit card which read โBarbara Jackson*โ (not jackson but similar generic last name in America). I said
โMaria! This isnโt your card!โ.
I was high af. Idk why I said it. (To clarify it indeed was not her card, but why I called her Maria I donโt know.) I am a terrible person.
TL;DR: called a Hispanic lady Maria and accused her of credit card theft
One time when i was a waiter I had a customer order rye toast but I accidentally got him sourdough. He asked me to get him the right toast. I was upset since he said quote " i ordered rye". Never once said sorry to be a bother, didn't say please , nothing. So i said fuck off. I ended up being sent home for a week and then I came back. I saw that customer again a few weeks later. He ordered sourdough that time, but he was kinda meanmugging me the whole time , probably because he was embarassed about how rude he was last time. So I was a little upset so I told him I ducked his mother. I regret saying that because his mom was a notch or two below me in the looks department so i wanted to keep that on the down low.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a cashier at my local supermarket. I was checking out a young guy who was around my age (17) so I didnโt give him the usual bull shit speech โhi welcome to X do you have an Xcard any coupons or rain checks?โ Instead just said how โya doingโ whatever. Well the next customer after him was an old lady but because i was just talking to the young customer casually I kind of forgot about being proper and when the old lady walked up I said โWhatโs goodโ she looked at me perplexed and I just tried to act like I didnโt just say that. Lmao
I work at a car maintenance shop and one time a customer came is with his son. We had finished working on their vehicle and they were checking out. Sometimes when someone is in with their kid i like to make the joke โoh so your the one driving home huhโ to younger kids. Well, i did this and he actually took the keys because he actually had dwarfism and i assumed he was just a kid
I work at what is basically a greek chipotle. The other day a blind woman came in. She was with a group of other people. I guess she was newly blind and this was an activity for helping her learn and all that.
Stupid me didn't notice that she was blind, even though she had the cain. Instead, because of her disheveled look and the fact that she wasn't looking at me, I assumed that she was autistic. So I continue on with my normal speal just a little louder and slower than normal, saying basically "I can make a Pita or a Bow for you, they both come with everything you SEE here and down the line".
I waited for a few minutes thinking she was building up the courage before her helper asked her if she heard me and then told me I needed to describe the food to her. I was so embarased and apologetic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember working drive through at McDonald's. Graveyard shift, huge line, the usual. Well, this one lady was taking a while with her order at the window (trying to make sure everything was correct etc) and the guy behind her starts honking and shit. I lean out the window, "patience is a virtue, sir" and continue with the lady I was helping. He was less than pleased when he got to my window.
Some lady was after cheese biscuits, I said the crackers are on the top shelf, she turned around and said 'Crackers don't you call me crackers.' and promptly left never to return.
Am a server. Had a guy order Jack and Coke. I told him we were currently out of Jack and asked if I could get him something else instead. He responded with, "Well, maybe something on the free side?" "So, water?" He didn't find that funny and I wasn't tipped.
I was working at Sports Authority during the liquidation two summers ago. The store was at 70-80% discount on everything and our policy at that point was absolutely NO returns. All items sold were final. This policy was noted and posted all over the store. A lady tried to return some things that she had bought a day before. She did not check our signs/updated policy and I assume she wasnโt listening when her cashier the day before told her the mandatory spiel of how there were no more returns. I told her that she couldnโt return anything multiple times. she said โthis is ridiculous. this is why you guys are closing. I want to speak to your manager. Young man, treating me like this is how you get firedโ. She said this in the most uppity, self righteous tone Iโve ever heard. My reply was โLady, weโre goddamn closing. There are fucking signs everywhere that say all sales are finalโ. Iโve never heard an entire department store get so fucking quiet. My manager let me close out the week and then let me go. I needed the money that summer, but it was worth it. Fucking bitch ass thot.
I answer phones as a customer service agent for work and sometimes when im bored and i have a particularly annoying customer I say that ill transfer them to my manager... i just put them on hold and then talk to them in a south African accent
As a cashier in the UK. English isn't my first languange. I was really tired that day and I miscalculated the change. I then realised my mistake and gave the correct change. Customer made a joke about it and I said 'yeah I can't really count'.
Fml
I work in affordable housing so I deal with a wide array of people everyday. I have on particular resident who just complains endlessly about everything. We require households to do a recertification every year. This consists of completing about 6 pages of paper. Every page she would groan and complain about how awful this was for her. I said, "its only 6 pages of paper. I do this with 120 households every year. I'm sure you'll manage." she replied really snarky like and said "yeah well you get paid for it." to which I replied "and you get rent at a fraction of the price. I'm sure other people would love to take your spot if these 6 prices of paper are truly too much for you to endure." She was not pleased and complained to my boss that I'm unhappy.
We were building a deck. I had just finished hanging the stairs when the housewife came out and asked me if they were sturdy. They were the first stairs I'd ever done and I was pretty self conscious about it, so I started babbling about how they're probably pretty stable "but I wouldn't drive a truck up them."
Was working the cash register at my retail job. Customer was complaining about a return and the way prices were coming up. I pulled out a paper and started drawing to help explain. I tried everything I could think of and explained multiple ways. Customer finally looks at me all grumpy and asks 'but why is it x amount?'
I just stared at them straight faced deer in headlights and replied 'because math?'
Luckily they were annoyed enough to just let me finish the transaction and leave and didnt bother complaining to a manager.
Worked customer service for a home food delivery company; there were only a few of us in the department. Well, we had this adorable blind customer that everyone in the office knew. She'd call in a couple times a week and we could all recognize her voice immediately, and we all knew her usual order.
Well, one day she calls in and gets one of the other girls in the office. They have the normal conversation then the blind customer asks "how can I tell when my lettuce goes bad?" To which the CS rep responded "how do you know when it goes bad? Uh... when it turns brown??"
It took all of two seconds before she realized her error and then she looked absolutely mortified. The customer laughed it off, but that didn't stop the barrage of apologies.
Last summer I worked at a summer camp and for some reason I was trying really hard to get into the good graces of this lady who had an autistic grandson. The boy wanted one of the binoculars other kids had made and there were some leftover that kids forgot to take home, so when he grabbed one and his grandma was like: [name] put that down, it's not yours!
I said "Oh, he can have it. Yeah those kids aren't coming back to get them.
Then as the kid and his grandma were walking out the door, another kid suddenly shot up and wailed "[NAME] THAT'S MIIIINE! Give it back!"
The grandma proceeded to give me the dirtiest look.
Previously working for a small town Police in very bad weather, myself and new colleague were on foot patrol in the snow. We came across a road blocked with a massive snowball outside a "popular" house. Two of the local dickheads were jeering out the window about their hilarious creation.
We knew that we would get a call any minute to go and "assess" the situation, so we were like "this ain't gonna shift itself". I went a few doors down to borrow a shovel to start hacking away at it. Took us a few minutes, but my colleague was like "where are we gonna dump this snow/ice?".
We didn't want to block the pavement so i was like "dump it in their driveway, they did it". My very young in service colleague for some reason picked up a slab pretty much her own body weight, god knows how she lifted it, and then shotput it at their front door. The ground/house shook as it bounced off.
KA-BOOOOM!!
Now, this wasn't advisable of course, but i must admit this gave me two thoughts: "That's hilarious" and "this is gonna cause some shit".
The grandparents came out (his parents were in jail/crackheads/whatever), kicking off, effing and jeffing, so after a few minutes of back and forth, his granny goes:
"I know you've got it in for Jason..." (I worked in this bad area all the time so i was well known). I had dealt with them for breach of bail a few nights prior, with similar results from the granny about "how he's not allowed in his own house even on bail, he wasn't even outside wozzie?!". I informed her i found him around the corner in the park a few minutes before, thus breaching the bail). The park was not inside their house as you can imagine.
Anyway, without hesitation, i didn't even think about the reply and blurted out: "I've got it in for all of them!".
What I meant was obviously "him and all his criminal little friends", but it could have been misconstrued I know. Sometimes you tell the truth more by freely associating things than thinking about it...
I work in a library and in the front of our building is a little store that sells books that we withdraw and donations that we can't or don't want to use. About once a month they do 50% off sales. One morning right at open a woman walks up and asks me about the book sale. I tell her it's going to be in the little shop at the front of the library and point at it. She then starts complaining "Well the doors are locked and the flier says 10 am". I assure her that they're probably just running late, they should be open any minute now. She keeps complaining and I had had a long night with my kids and am in no shape to deal with this crap right at open and I just tell "Well I don't run the bookstore so I don't know what to tell you." She just looked kind of shocked and walked away, it really didn't sound that bitchy in my head but after she walked off I realized I shouldn't have said that. She didn't complain or anything, but that is the rudest I've ever been to a customer
Got2Go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a call center taking calls for people whos accounts were migrating from an old computer system from a bought telephone company into the new systems. A customer started threatening me over a few dollars on his bill..
"Sir do you have any idea where i am?"
"Uh no"
"Well i know exactly where you are, i know all your phone numbers, several credit card numbers and your social insurance number"
I was pulled into a meeting for that one but my team lead understood why i said it after listening to the call himself.
Lol worked graveyard at waffle house and an irate customer was drunk as shit and wanting to fight. At this point I'm fed up, fuck it I say, let's go out side. He walks out and mean mugs the shit out of me thru the window and I walk to the door and casually lock it. His demeanor shifted so fucking quick when he saw me get on the phone. Cops love waffle house tho and I never saw him again. And I got a fat tip. All is well.
I had a larger lady come up to me and ask where the capris were. I pointed her in the right direction and added โif you canโt find your size you can check the plus size too!โ She glared. I was mortified.
When I first started selling cars this lady walked onto the lot so I went to greet her and see what she was looking for. She was a twat right from the get-go, bitching about the vehicles and me and how I was so stupid for selling cars. Her son walked over to us and asked what was going on, she replied
"Soapedturbo isn't being a very good salesman"
To which I replied "And she's not being a very good customer".
She then told me "We'll go look at vehicles that we actually like." And I told her "If I was spending $40,000+, I wouldnt look at things I didnt like..." And followed up with "Don't dish it out if you can't take it..."
I got quite the glare before she stormed off. I think the son got a laugh out of it, though. I was expecting a phone call to the manager or a review on our site, nothing came of it, though.
I worked at a dvd rental store, (not a mom and pop shop by any means) but they was this customer that had apparently been coming in at least once a week since the store opened, so almost 10 years. My manager told me that she was one of their best customers at that store, and to do whatever I had to, to make her happy. But one day she came to my register to check out and she told me that she should have rental return credits, and I checked her account and she didnโt have any, so I told her โsorry maโam, it appears like you donโt have any.โ
โOh thatโs not right. I know I have credits, I rented them last week, and returned them todayโ
โWell you only get credit if you return them the next day, unfortunatelyโ
โSince when? I want to speak to Anna (manager)โ
So I called my manager out of the office to talk to her. I should also mention that no one really liked helping this lady because she felt like she was a king for being a customer for so long.
So my manger comes over, talks to her for a few minutes and calls me back over and says โthereโs nothing we can do for your credits, unfortunately.โ And she says thanks then my manager went back into the office and the lady starts giving me shit again about wanting free movies. She goes on this rant about shopping at the store before I was born, and howโs she had spent thousands of dollars there, blah blah blah. So 30 minutes into a transaction for 2 movies I just looked at her and said โlook lady, you donโt have credit, so do you want the movies or not?โ
She looked at me like I just killer her cat, like she was about to rip my head off, then just said โwow. Unbelievable.โ Then left.
I didnโt see her again for the rest of the time I worked there, but I guess she came in a few times.
Customer called very upset after losing his phone in Vegas. Something expensive. I was getting the insurance information for him and without thinking said "I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas huh?"
He was silent long enough for me to be worried. I was trying to think of a way to fix that when he told me I should chat with his wife as she said the same thing.
I work in a Supermarket and was working in the pasta aisle one day, when a old lady with glasses came up to me with a list of every product in the store and the respective aisles for the items.
She said "Excuse me sir, can you help me, I can't read any of this, I'm blind"
I started to laugh because I thought that it was just her being funny about her eyesight and how poor it was.
Nope. She goes "No, no no no sir, I'm actually blind"
Sure enough I look up to a blank stare into the direct sunlight bearing down on the store.
They complained.
Zoro05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Driver was speeding through a parking lot and almost hit me while I was pulling up baskets. Not knowing his window was down I yelled โthis is a Fucking parking lot, not a race track!!โ He was so shocked he just stared at me while I walked away.
kjax016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a floral store at age 16. A man hands me a credit card to pay for the transaction. I read the name (it was clearly a women's name) and I say..."Excuse me sir, is this your wife's credit card?" Look up and notice that this person is in fact a woman. She responds with "No, this is my credit card". Foot in mouth.
I'm going to play fast and loose and say that students are like customers to a teacher. When I ws a student teacher I was doing my elementary school hours (my license is for secondary because Im very awkward with little kids as you'll see).
One kid, with no prompting at all, asked me "Do you have a father?"
My reply was "well, everyone has a father," because I'm an awkward son of a bitch and I meant that technically you'd need to have a father to have been born. Obviously this kids dad wasn't around, and on obviously he wouldnt get that I meant technically. Then I kind of froze up in horror at myself when I realized all this, so I had no follow up attempt to fix it. We both just sort of stared at one another.
Is it too late for this? I was working at a coffee shop and they wanted us to advertise our new "flavor shots" for the coffees. So when my next customer came in, the computer prompted me to advertise it, so I asked the girl and her mom if she wanted a shot in her drink! The customers were horrified, the manager was furious, and it took me YEARS before I realized what I said. I was so young and stressed out that it didn't even cross my mind, but I immediately knew I somehow screwed up.
I'd have plenty of these if I worked for a corporate store, but I'm lucky and work at a small family owned business with bosses that know me well enough to know that if I mouth off to a customer the customer probably deserved it.
I've told a few people to fuck off, kindly get the fuck out of my store, or shut the fuck up when it got to the point that they were irate and just looking for excuses to ask for money back, discounts, threatening someone who works for the company, threatening legal action, or just being miserable cunts. The idea that the customer is always right is one of the worst things for retail, all it does it encourage people to be self righteous assholes who think the world revolves around them and that they should be waited on hand and foot, which is what gave me such great pleasure in telling those people, after being completely polite for the duration of our conversation up to that point, to just fuck off.
There's two that stand out. First was the guy who legitimately wanted to fight me because I was unable to get a truck driver(not our company delivery truck, a 18 wheeler coming from the manufacturer to deliver goods to multiple retail stores) to stop and turn around to bring his special order goods back to the warehouse so he could receive a refund because he was having second thoughts five days after placing the order. He was convinced that I should be able to get a hold of the driver and became completely irate when I told him there's no possible way I can call him and even if I could there's no way he's going to turn around, this is the point he starts waving his hands around my face and decides to go for the poke in the chest. I was going to calmly tell him that I'd prefer he not touch me again, but of course mid sentence he goes for the poke again which was where I broke, told him to get the fuck out of my store because cops would be on the way if he touched me one more time and he'd have to deal with me in the meantime. His wife ended up coming by later that day to apologize for her husbands behavior.
The next was a woman who was trying to weasel her way into free product any way she could. Financed something and had it for about 9 months before she called us and claimed that she didn't like it and wanted to swap it out. At that point she's about 6 months past where our company policy(which she signed a copy of when she signed the invoice) would allow us to do anything and the product she bought was clearly marked closeout/as is(also clearly stated on previously mentioned invoice), I explain this to her but tell her I'll let my boss know and he may be willing to work with her, she's already complaining. After a couple conversations between her and my boss he actually decides to work with her, but when she comes in the store she's such a cunt that he just says he tried but he's afraid he can't help her. This starts a flood of phone calls and in-store visits where I'm listening/watching my boss(a man underserving of the abuse he was getting and who's too nice to tell the lady to get out) just get verbally beat down by a woman who's trying to take advantage of him. Eventually I had to step in and tell her that since she had threatened to pursue legal action that we would no longer be speaking with her, I was now filming the interaction, and that she needed to leave the premises immediately. This leads to her calling multiple times a day or having "her lawyers"(better know as her brother and sister) call the store, then going to the finance company and trying to get them to refund the money. The company she financed through sends a fax and lets us know the steps we need to take to ensure that there's no chargeback for the merchandise; we write a letter, make a phone call, and that's it, we're cleared.... until a month goes by and we get the same fax. Turns out there's no limit to the number of times a customer can attempt a chargeback, even if it's for the same reason and there's been no evolution in the matter, and the retailer has to write a new letter every fucking time she sends it despite the fact that it says the exact same thing about the company policy and the merchandise terms with a copy of the invoice where it's got her signature acknowledging the policy. We got one on or around the first of every month for months, then the store actually closed and reopened under a different owner and name but with the same address and numbers, and what do you know, we start getting calls from her and then faxes from the financing company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in an airport, my area was incoming flights. There's a big queue for the Border Control Officers (people who check your passports) and an equally big queue for the machines that scanned your passports. One lady demanded she be allowed to go into the Border Control Officers queue, but I knew they weren't taking on any more customers, she insisted, and then I said something along the lines of "Well, you'll just to deal with it."
It was a hot day, and that area doesn't have any windows so I was in a bad enough mood without hundreds of people asking for special attention. But that really doesn't excuse my behaviour. So i'm sorry lady. I tried apologising back then but you weren't having it. Guess I'm the one who has to "deal with it" now. (In case you were wondering, no I didn't get fired)
I used to be a telemarketer and we were trained to mirror the customer. Basically if they were rude and shitty, we were taught to stand our ground and not cower. Anyway I called this guy and his kids were talking in the background. He unleashed this crazy cuss storm and I responded โyou talk like that in front of your kids?โ
I donโt regret it at all but I wanted to tell this story.
I worked at a trampoline park for a while and would try to judge who I could mess with and couldn't. When kids came to the gate where I would tell them the rules before letting them on to jump, I would always ask "Do you know the rules?" Most would reply "Yes." without thinking so I always immediately followed with "Alright, tell me some."
One kid was alone and I thought he was cool to be messed with and when he couldn't tell me any rules I continued with "Did you lie to me when you said you knew the rules?" all while smiling. Right then, he turned all red and looked down and I bent a little to see his eyes and they were welling up. I started profusely apologizing and saying I was totally joking and was going to let him on 15 minutes early and that it didn't matter he didn't know the rules etc... He hesitantly talks about how he's from Alabama and lying is taken super seriously there and I try my best to clarify I was joking with him.
Manager comes up a few minutes later and asks why I was abusing some kid about not knowing the rules.
They forgot to grab drinks from the cooler, they left the counter without asking if I could hold on to their toy they were buying. I said "Don't worry, I'll keep the toy safe" trying to be nice but it came across as passive aggressive as hell. I'm very sorry customer.
We have a booth that's really small at my restaurant. My host sat people a smidge too big for it there and they asked to move. I said my routine joke "The booths are uneven so there's always one booth I have to sit the skinny people at!"
Except that's not the joke. I usually say skeletons or supermodels or ballerinas. Saying skinny was mortifying.
Famous coffee shop known worldwide. Worked at a kiosk of the chain inside a grocery store so we always had middle aged men and women and they always cane in from open to close. A guy who claimed he was a regular came in and ordered two venti ice caramel macchiatos . Now some info about me at the time . 1) I had just started working there and was finished training but still not 100% confident 2) I was alone and coworker was on break. She had told me to page her if I needed help with anything. 3) I was alone for the first time in the kiosk when this occurred.
So enter man. Immediately he noticed I'm new and became upset because I wouldn't know his order like my manager who worked almost every day of the week. He still decided to order and ordered the two drinks reluctantly because he didn't think I was capable (thanks dude) . I made them pretty decently quick and they were my favourite drink so I knew how to make them . I handed them out and called the drinks out to the man who came over and grabbed them in a huff and marched off to the side area to grab straws. THIS is when all hell broke loose. "WHERE ARE THE LARGE STRAWS " (to me) me : " Uh sorry I think we're all out. But, the flat lids work okay with the shorter straws so it should still be fine " man: "NO ITS NOT FINE, I WANT A REFUND AND I'LL GO TO THE OTHER (insert coffee shop)WHICH DESERVES MY SERVICE BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DRINK AND THEY HAVE STRAWS THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BEND OVER IN MY CAR TO DRINK OUT OF". Me: " Okay that's fine sir, but I don't know how to give refunds..." and as I tried to explain to him I needed to call my coworker to help do the refund he blew up again and told me I'm worthless and he was going to sue me because I said I wasn't able to give him a refund . To be clear , I wasn't trained to give refunds yet because manager was not at work for the day and my coworker was supposed to be able to help me . As soon and this guy stopped going off about suing me I called my coworker practically in tears to come to help me and she helped him get his refund and i hid in the back of the kiosk avoiding eye contact with him and waiting for him to leave . I told her what had all happened and she told me if that ever happened again that the customer service desk deals with these types of customers and can do refunds so if I'm ever scared or flustered I can send them there where the ladies are super strong and fierce .
So basically I forgot to mention there were no large straws and then miscommunicated that I couldn't give him a refund .
I work for a vacation rental company and we had this real peach of a lady check into a house a few weeks ago who bitched just to bitch. She called in 3 separate times to say 1. The garden was beautiful in the photos online but it clearly wasn't kept up and she was appalled (we are in the Pacific Northwest and it's winter...everything is still dead). 2. The patio furniture didn't have cushions and there was no propane for the outdoor fire pit (see point one...still winter which means rain. Lots of it) and 3. The house slept 4 but only had 3 dining chairs (two were in another room and just needed to be brought to the table)
I was calmly trying to answer her questions and explain why things were the way they were but she wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise - just kept interrupting every time I spoke. I finally had enough and said, "are you going to allow me to talk so I can offer solutions to your problems?"
I immediately regretted my word choice. I got a big, loud "EXCUSE ME?!???!" And a 5 minute tirade on how I don't know customer service and she can't believe I would talk to her like that. I just asked how I she would like me to rectify the situation but she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She hung up and we didnt hear from her the rest of the weekend.
I'm just waiting for that review to show up online....๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธ
Logator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know Iโm late to the party and this will probably get buried but I delivered pizza for a summer and royally fucked up.
During a particularly busy rush we had phone calls coming in constantly. So after answering a few calls in a row, out of the corner of my eye I see a rather overweight guy, wearing a baseball cap with a buzzed haircut and some combat boots waiting to pick up his pizza.
I know we have a few pick up orders ready to go, so I asked him โexcuse me sir, what was the name on your order?โ And I look up from the computer screen where I had been placing the orders and finally got a good look at the โguyโ
Turns out itโs an overweight woman who is sitting in front of me, and the kicker you may ask? The baseball cap she had on has a pink ribbon on it and it says โbreast cancer survivorโ on it.
I wanted to die. Thankfully she handled my gaff with grace and was like โitโs maโam and I havenโt placed it yet.โ I stuttered out an apology and proceeded to feel my humanity shrivel up and die.
This older couple walked in, and I New right away to give the the senior discount.
They took their order, and by the end I did the senior discount without even telling them.
Then the women said, please add the old person discount, and I said,
โYEAH I KNOWโ
SAPHEI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a lady cussing me out over the phone because I couldn't break company protocol to fix a minor inconvenience for her.
I remained level-headed and professional until she started directing her insults at me rather than the company (saying things like, "Well, I guess you're a fucking robot just like your dumbass manager"), at which point I interrupted her, asking, "Ma'am, are you going to be providing me with a paycheck every two weeks if I get fired for helping you with your stupid little problem?"
She demanded that the call recordings be pulled, but instead I just sat the phone down on the desk and walked away until she hung up.
I didn't realize that my manager was standing right behind me for almost the entire conversation, but he didn't discipline me because the woman refused to be transferred to someone that had the authority to actually help her.
I was working on a Saturday night at a small diner that loves their waffles, and a group of five or so drunk women (using that term lightly) comes stumbling in. They were rude, cursing loudly, and just being trashy. We get them to calm down and order.
The entire time I'm cooking, they are telling me how they want their food, and saying how they should have went to Ihop, yada yada. When they get their food (fucking sexy plates of food btw) the "ring leader" looks at me in a drunken disgust that only a bull can give at an oncoming train, and asked "Who taught you how to cook?"
I had had enough of their shit to begin with, and activated my (to my surprise) my trap card.
"Who the fuck taught you how to act in public?"
These chicks overall calmed down, ate, and left, but at the time I was mortified, but when manager caught wind of it we had a good laugh. I did have bathroom duty for my work week after that.
I worked at a Video Warehouse years back, around the time the film Rocky Balboa was released on DVD.
During one customer's checkout they inquire about the new Rocky movie. Having only watched the first 3 films, admittedly, I explained I haven't seen it yet but if it were anything like the originals, it would be a good watch.
I figured why not follow up with a light joke saying something along the lines of, "Personally, nothing gets me more pumped than 80's montage scenes and working out, beating meat in a freezer." I didn't even catch it.
They left and my boss is standing next to me like a confused dog. "Did you really just say that?"
It was like that scene in Anchorman, "Go fuck yourself, San Diego".... except I kept my job.
Working a cash register at a supermarket a number of years ago. It had been an extremely long day and I had had it. Young guy comes in with a young daughter.
Me: how are you mate?
Him: don't you know you aren't allowed to say mate in the workplace anymore?
Me: would you prefer me to call you sweetheart instead?
I've never seen someone go from cheerful to pissed off so fast. Daughter was in hysterics which only served to make the father more angry.
Luckily he didn't complain and I got no reprimand for this.
This wasnโt me and it wasnโt to customer. It was a friend I was with and it was to a Waffle House waitress. We were leaving PCB in 2015 and going back to school. We stopped at a Waffle House to get breakfast. Our waitress was a lady in her early 30s, not cute, but not unattractive either. We had a friend, weโll call him Trey, who wanted to flirt with the waitress. Asked her her name, her age, told her she was attractive blah blah blah. Finally got to the point where he asked if she was married. She said no. He asked why not and she told us her husband was killed in Iraq. We all looked at her and then him and then put our heads down and started eating while he apologized. We all felt like shit when she told us that because he had pressed her so much.
Worked a theme park as a ride operator. Little girl asked me if one of the mascots was going to sing her Happy Birthday and I said "No he's a dog, he can't talk" without even thinking about it. Whoopsie. Welcome to the real world, I guess.
Was a question not a statement...
In 1999 I was hired as assistant manager at Radio Shack. Second day on the job a very pretty young lady was flirting with me and I with her. It went on for over ten minutes before she bought her stuff. When I was through with her transaction I asked when she was due and the flirting and smiles were gone! Both the flirting and smiles were replaced with anger and a reply "I'm not pregnant a$$hole". I turned to the guy that hired me and asked who knew? He told me to take the rest of the day off. Needless to say I didn't spend it with the chubby pretty young lady I was just flirting wi!h
ejramos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not technically a โcustomerโ but itโll do. Iโm an army recruiter and was making phone calls one day. I already hate making phone calls but we get so many shitty responses from the people who actually pick up that when someone will actually talk we almost get shocked.
Iโd finally gotten some kid on the phone. Now realize that kids nowadays are completely out of touch with jobs and what life will be after school. We get people who would score single digits on the ASVAB (think scoring a 9 on the ACT) and tell me theyโre going to be nurses or engineers. Weโve gotten to be good about not just crushing them and telling them they canโt do it. So as I begin asking this kid what he wants to do after high school I am keeping that in mind.
He says he wants to be a correctional officer. To me, this is a terrible idea. COs in my state make like $30k, are surrounded by people who want to kill them, and have to deal with corruption in their workplace. Honest job for those doing it honestly, so I put that in my mind as I ask the kid why he wants to do that job. I figure heโs got a reason, right? Benefits, his friend is one, etc., but his response caught me off guard.
โIt seems like an easy job.โ
I basically guffawed and reply, โyouโre joking, right?โ
Dude hung up on me. I didnโt even try to call back.
I had a customer do the typical "oh that doesn't have a price so it's free" thing on me and when I just laughed continues and says "the customer is always right"
My immediate response was "the customer is always right only when they are actually right" and while handing him the properly priced item
My restaurant has a policy that everyone in the party needs to be present to be sat (its great and I love this, even though it causes me to get yelled at every day). We also dont do reservations, we do call aheads.
One day this lady calls, and completely looses it when i tell her that her while party needed to be there to get sat. Whatever.
Shows up and is a complete pain from the beginning. Whatever, I deal with it everyday.
Constantly coming up to the host stand to yell at me. I keep telling her sorry, its company policy, theres nothing I can do about it. Then when the rest of her party finally shows up, we're still waiting for one of the tables to get up (our restaurant has very few tables that seat 8, and they were all being used).
She demands a manager, I call one over the walkie, he doesnt answer. She stands, her large mass blocking everything. I talk to customers around her. She keeps insulting me, mocking my customer voice.
She finally yells "I told you I have a baby, why arent you seating me?!"
I looked this woman dead in the face and reply "Yeah? So do a lot of people."
She looses it, I leave someone else in charge of the host stand and fo find manager. He laughs, complements me, and goes to talk to the lady. If i had anyother manager, I probanly would have been instantly fired.
i was a server at a restaurant. 4 heavy set ladies came in. When I dropped the check off at their table they gave me the ol' "you arent picking up the tab?" Joke
Thinking I was being funny I said "aint nobody got enough money for that"
I worked at Canadian Tire (an outdoorsy/hardware type store) when I was about 14. It was Fatherโs Day so we opened early for some reason because of the sales. I was extremely exhausted, working the morning shift. The first customer of the day comes through to my register. I scan all his items, tell him his total, he hands me his credit card, and I tell him to have a nice day. Now that isnโt the part that has haunted me for the last 14 years. Itโs the fact that I swiped his card, bagged his items, got his signature, then handed him his stuff COMPLETELY SILENTLY. To this day I donโt know why the fuck I didnโt laugh it off and explain that I was really tired or something. I didnโt even say bye. Just smiled as he walked away confused. Fuck my life.
where I was working there was a new temp and he started screaming at one of the full time workers to hurry up because she's a tiny old asian woman who moves very slow. at the next break I asked if she wanted me to go over and threaten the guy. she told the boss and I was fired on the spot.
This is pretty tame from others but I did get written up for it. So I work at a senior assisted living facility but it's an 'independent' kind where they basically are just rich and mean and don't give AF what they say/do to the employees who work there. Anyways, think of the movie Mean Girls when I tell you we have a table that's almost exactly like them except old. Unfortunately, I had them one night and they were in total bitch mode. I walk up as usual with a smile and ask how they're doing and they say "oh so...we have YOU tonight?" They say that to EVERY server, EVERY night. So I reply with "unfortunately, I have YOU tonight so looks like we're all shit out of luck. So, what do you want to drink?" I wasn't surprised they told my boss who really didn't care what I said cuz he hates them too but he 'HAD' to write me up. They are not liked by anyone at this facility
Worked at an Applebeeโs as a server.
A Muslim couple asked me how a certain appetizer was. For some reason the first thing that slipped out of my mouth was โOh, those are the bomb!โ
I don't exactly regret it, although it did make the customer more mad which was an added hassle.
After arguing for several minutes and insisting that "the customer is always right" despite being clearly wrong, the guy angry threatens: "Well I'm not leaving here until [I get my way]".
My response was to take a step back, casually lean on the counter behind me and calmly reply "That's OK sir, I'm paid hourly."
He left shortly thereafter, having not got his way.
I work at a gas station and some guy wanted to buy some zyn, a non tobacco chew, so he asked me what the most popular type we sell is and my only response was probably the one we're out of. He's just like you're a real smart ass today aren't you. Gotta take pride in that Haha.
Was new to a call centre job and shadowing a co-worker, who told a story to put us at ease.
This happened on his 2nd day, and he'd done well on his first. Feeling confident, he sat down and took a call and he completely blanked out.
Panicking, he said "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." He looked over and the phone's not muted.
"Excuse me?!" said the customer.
Without skipping a beat, he said, "Did you hear that too? That was so weird. I think the lines got crossed..." and he proceeded to take the call as if nothing happened.
I started training there a year ago and I now tell that story to my new hires too.
I work in cosmetics in a department store, mainly selling to old(er) ladies. One woman who was easily 60 asked me if a lipstick would stay on well. I, not thinking clearly, said that I wore it to go out drinking and took shots all night and it never went anywhere. She side-eyed me and said "Glad to know it's shot-proof."
Felt the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme start playing as it slow zoomed in on my face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, one regular I never usually served once said "Hey, you're a hard guy to crack, you haven't laughed at any of my jokes, what's that about?" Trying to be funny in response I said, " y'know I take my job seriously. well and then there's the depression, anxiety, insomnia."
He was so drunk that he pulled my boss over and told him that I said I was schizophrenic. I later realised I was meant to be a cook not a server.
Working at Macyโs, a man is checking out with me in the soft home department. Making casual talk about his cool new Android phone, and my smart ass decides to say, โIโm a total slut for Apple products.โ
Not me, but a former coworker when I worked at a survey call center.
He was giving a survey which was practically done on auto pilot because of the volume we were doing. He was also texting his fiance at the same time. At the end of the survey he said,"thank you. I love you. Bye." He paused for a second, turned to me and asked what he just said. I practically died laughing.
I work as a server at a local pizza restaurant. During one shift, I was serving on two older couples who had each ordered their own small pizzas and as I brought them to their table one of the customers accidentally poked my hand with his fork. I asked if heโd like a new fork and he apologized and said no thanks.
I replied with, โDonโt worry, my fingers havenโt been anywhere weird today,โ
They just stared at me and I walked away only coming back to give them their check.
Merakus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a retail pharmacy and we get all kinds of screaming and yelling at us. One day I had a lady and her husband come in from the drive thru all kinds of angry. They start yelling at me because their meds were filled for too many(ie wanting a 30 day supply but dr sent for 90)
I told them it would take 10 to 15 min to fix, and you would think I told them I was going to have their first born killed. So during the tirade I looked at both of them and said โ if you keep that up I can make it longer.โ Welp that was a dumb thing to say and pissed them off even more. I got into minimal trouble over it though.
In the nice side I actually had a former angry customer apologize to me today about being out of line. Today was a good day.
I used to work as a Comcast service representative, yeah, the ones who answer the phone when your internet or cable isn't working.
After a long call with a lady (about one hour on the phone with her), and against my supervisor's orders, I ended up telling her how to add free channels to her list, told her how to get what she wanted, and even told her how to get the ID of the last service representative she had talked to...I got screamed at by the operations manager the next day
Was recently waiting tables during a brunch shift at a little French bistro. Had been working back to back shifts morning and night and the time had just jumped forward the night before. Hungover customers come in and start complaining about the time shift and how โmessed upโ it has them. I respond with, โ Yea not like it happens twice every year or anything.โ Immediately realize I just dropped a dose of sleep deprived snarkiness on them for no reason. They still tipped me well.
I worked with a guy at McDonaldโs who liked to switch his voice from โsweet and helpfulโ to โpissed off sailorโ while he worked drive-thru. He would take the order, take his finger of the button, and scream and cuss at the utter stupidity of some of the customers (not wrongly, I might add.) I watched him leave his finger on the talk button, scream the words โdumb cuntโ, and then stiffen as he realized what he had done. I had to excuse myself to laugh my ever-loving ass off.
I was working at a helpdesk for a big company, which, if I were to oversimplify it was selling digital versions of computer games. Much of my work was unfortunately replying with same templates untill customer understood that I can't f.e refund him for buying a PlayStation key when he owns an Xbox. One time I had a really lengthy talk, and customer being seriously infuriated, he was storming out of the chat with some passive aggressive whishes of a good day, so I thought I'd return the wish, but as it was a finishing of an 8hour shift my hand slipped (I know how shady that sounds, but I would NEVER use this word as a slur) and I wrote "have a good Gay, sir". He went off about how he's going to destroy our reputation with that, so being scared shitless I went to my manager to tell him all about it, and he almost flipped over from laughter. This wasn't my best paying job, but I never had that cool of a team before or after. Hope they're doing well.
I work as a clerk running a convenience store, and i'm always super casual with all my customers, I say things like "what's up brotha" "hey dude, how are ya", I'm a little less casual with female customers if they aren't regulars but if they are then it's the usual "Hey what's up."
anyways, one day I was cutting some boxes in the back of the store when a customer walked in, so I made my way to the register and only caught a glimpse of them from the corner of my eye, they were kind of heavy with super short hair so I thought "okay it's a guy." So I went with the usual, "hey what's up my man?" and about 5 seconds later when I was face to face with them I realized that this person was clearly a woman. I had a little mental stumble and muttered "Oh shit, my bad." and felt like a fucking idiot for a good chunk of time.
Some lady asked if I had anymore compassion for the customer. I said no. Got fired the next day. Watch for burn out guys, shit gets slippery. But that being said gawd I hated that fucking place.......
mig4000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had an interpreting job over the phone. As the lady told me her new born baby's name because the case worker wanted to know what it was, I blurted out, "that's an ugly name."
I worked at Baskin Robbins. Toward the end of the night, a very heavy lady came and got an ice cream cake from the fridge. As I was ringing her up for it, my recent training kicked in and I casually asked "Is this for here or to go?"
...yeah, that led to a good 10 seconds of awkward silence. We had been trained recently to charge 10c extra if it was "to go" in order to offset the cost of bags and such.
I was working in a pizza place that specialised in vegan food. A group of hardcore vegans were asking about the mock meats, I said nothing beats real bacon. Cue death stares.
"Do you go behind the counters everywhere you go?"
"It's weird how people just stare and expect me to know what the fuck they want"
"Ew please don't take out your tongue ring thats gross, do I need to explain why?""
"All nipples are different sizes, so do you have a general idea of the size of yours?"
"Fuck no I don't want to see a picture of it"
"Have a nice day and never come back, thanks!"
I work at an auto shop as the service writer/secretary. And one of our regular customers calls up, she's mentally challenged(really is, sweet lady but she had actual issues), well she calls up asking for a quote for some work, it's a 3 hour job and I give her the estimate with parts and labor. I tell her we're a little busy and if she dropped the car off we could have it done in 8 hours. My mistake she starts to almost cry because she thinks she's going to have to pay for 8 hours of labor. I keep trying to explain to her that no you don't have to pay for 8 hours your car will just be here for 8 hours. Took me 15min on the phone with her to finally get it.
Working retail, I had a pretty irate customer. After being unable to settle him down and explain we weren't stealing his information, I finished the transaction. I knew it was a bad idea but I decided to do it.
"Have a wonderful day, sir!" In the most upbeat customer service tone ever.
He turned around and said, I quote, "you know what? I will have a wonderful day. But I hate you and your company."
At least the next person in line gave me pity.
Patfanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All of these comments just reassures myself that I hate people.
Back when I worked in customer service for a cell phone provider, I had a habit of quickly muting my phone and shouting insults at my coworker friends while assisting customers. One day I forgot I was already muted so when I yelled "You're a bitch!", the already irritated customer had a very valid reason to ask to speak to my sup.
When I used to wait tables, a customer asked where do you get catfish in Hong Kong? Without thinking I just said, the sea.
Chardlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Freudian slip when I asked a woman what I could do for her today and asked what I could do TO her today.... I don't even think she noticed but my heart dropped immediately
I was extremely racist to a group of about 10 big black women. At that time I was a 21 year old average white male.
I worked at a martini bar, and it was a birthday party. They were a fantastic group and I remember they were a pleasure to serve. When I came time for the bill, they started asking if we had discounts. They were taking turns asking like "Do you have a 2 for 1 discount?" Or a "We love Toosdays discount?" Until the eldest lady I'm assuming was the mom asked "Do you have a senior citizens discount?".
What i meant to say was "I'm sorry but this is a bar, we can't give a senior discount because it's not like we can give a minor discount" when in reality I said "Ma'am this is a bar, it's not like we can give out minority discounts."
It got really silent, but I was laughing thinking I said it right and I just walked away. Once I got back to the register I realized what I said. Still did the checks, but not surprisingly didn't get a tip. Was really uncomfortable after that.
envirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a thrift store for a year and one night we were cashing out after close but we all forgot to lock the front doors. It was an hour after we closed and a young couple probably mid 20's at the time walked in, my supervisor politely asked them to leave and the woman in a really snotty pretentious tone told her that they'll leave in a bit after they've looked at something. My supervisor tells them that they aren't allowed to be in the building and that they can come back tomorrow and the woman just responds with "like I said we'll be out after we look at one thing". I had already had to kick out one of the meanest women I have ever met in my life so I had little patience and I shouted "Get the hell out of my store before I shove my foot up your ass". That sentence could have gotten me fired but they left when I said that and my supervisor agreed not to tell anyone what I said.
I had a rather well-endowed woman come into my coffee shop and ask for two coffees and two muffins. My employee got both coffees while I rang her up. I gave her the receipt and said, "Let me just grab your muffins...."
It honestly was not intentional, but the silence that followed was truly deafening.
Worked at CVS with a guy who was too self-absorbed to process me saying that a customer was blind and trying to figure out whether he should get a CD or DVD. Co-worker proceeds to burst at the customer at some point when the conversation was going back and forth saying " it's right there! What are you, blind?"
The man responded "Well, yeah I am!"
Tintar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Telling a visually impaired customer to "Come back and see me again!"
I donโt think itโs really a shouldnโt have said moment but I felt bad.
Iโm a waitress and this lady had said she was deathly allergic to spinach (hmm okay) so I tell the chefs and they say no problem and ask if they can garnish with rocket, sure no problem - thatโs okay.
I take her meal out, she eats everything to the point of it looking as though sheโs licked the plate clean; besides the rocket.
I ask her how her meal was and she starts on a huge tangent about how I nearly killed her by putting spinach on her plate and points the rocket. I explain to her that I understand her allergy and we asked if rocket was okay. She tried to argue that rocket is fine and thatโs not rocket, to which I go โlook honey, thatโs not spinach, itโs rocket. Spinach is shaped like this (hand gesture) and rocket is shaped like this (hand gesture)โ
When paying she made a huge deal about my attitude and got her meal for free, because of this my boss reemed me hard for my attitude towards the customer.
I was leading a tour group and it was mostly Chinese exchange students. We were sorted by what color their pamphlet was and I was the tour guide for the people who got yellow pamphlets. I realized afterwards that "Ok, this way, all you yellows are with me!" Was not the best choice of words.
Regular customer came in one day and complained of being sick for a few weeks. I asked if she had aids, she laughed i laughed she tried to get me fired the next day.
Im a server. My first year i got really busy one night. Took an order, someone ran the food. Next time i went to the table, they were all finished. I said "oh shit you're already done?
Got suspended a week the next day.
In high school I worked at a decent convenience store. I knew the regulars pretty well after a bit. At the lunch rush hour one day, this guy comes in, hangs out at the ATM, leaves, loiters at the window, then comes back in and stands directly in front of me thereby jumping to the front of a ten or so person line. I promptly tell him that I won't serve him (He wants to buy cigarettes and junk with his EBT card) until he gets in line like everyone else. He gets belligerent to the point of telling everyone in line to fuck off, that I'm a racist, I'm out to get him, and even brings his girlfriend in to yell at me too. Customers say just take his sale which, surprise, doesn't work cause you can't buy that with welfare cards. They leave. The next day, a really nice regular came in with her daughter and apologized for the guy's behavior. I nonchalantly say, "It's all good. I think he was on drugs or just straight up retarded." Her daughter is disabled and had had several episodes in the store. Her jaw drops to the floor. I word vomit at her trying to clarify I just meant he wasn't thinking straight. She was pretty reserved with me after that.
I worked for an animal shelter that had a pet loss support group and a memorial each year for pets that had died. As I was booking a guitar player for the memorial he asked if he could bring his family with him. "Of course," I said, "the more the merrier!"
I once replied to a woman's request on a table I was serving with "No problem, sir". The lady was kinda butch looking so instead of trying to apologise and dig myself into a hole I just continued on. I didn't get a tip.
I was working the closing shift at a theme park retail store. It was 1230am (the store closed at 1am). I'm working at a counter with another cashier. My break time was approaching so my lead said to go after the guest I was ringing up. A lady with 3 coffee mugs got in my line and I told her I was closing my register after this guest. She says ok and gets in the other line. I finish the transaction and a college aged guy comes to my register with a postcard to purchase. I quickly rang him up(my mistake) and the lady I sent to the other line saw and said "Why did you ring him up and not me? You didn't help me because I'm black!" I just laughed (mistake 2). She asked for my supervisor. He rang her up and sent me to break. I shouldn't have rang him up or laughed at her, but it was 1230a, I wasn't used to working that late yet.
This is not me but a friend of mine, whoโs a manager at a jewelry store (and English is her second language). She was just about to close up when a guy walks in and says he wants to look at some rings. So she wanted to ask him if he just wants to have a quick look, or if she should take out the tray of rings from the cabinet.
Unfortunately that came out as โDid you just want a quickie, or should I pull it out?โ
I work at a popular fast food restaurant as a person who handles the speakers for orders . Well, a lady came through the drive thru and order a โLarge Caramel blah blah blah, and can you add chocolate to that ?โ
I donโt know why I thought to say this, or what the fuck my brain was doing but my response ...
โSure I can put chocolate on you !โ
Sure as shit, not only did she hear me say that..but also another member I work with heard it from me .
The customer was a good a good sport, was surprised another female said that too her, and I facepalmed myself so .
I worked in a garage as a shophand and sometimes had to help customers to their vehicles. I just finished doing an undercoat and started shooting the shit with this guy who was in the back to get his car.
โ...and whatever you do, donโt ever get the undercoat. Itโs a complete ripoff. Like this guy here just paid $3000 for a couple bucks worth of tar that doesnโt do anything. Anyway, sorry, which car was yours again?โ
I had a customer I was selling hiking boots to. He kept asking for a discount. I was a stupid grunt and had no authority to do so - cheap-ass outdoors chain. He finally said, โyou know I come here all the time and spend so much money!โ I looked him in the eyes and replied with, โYeah? You and everybody else in here!โ He wasnโt too impressed. I was surprised that I said it out loud. I must have been having a particularly crappy day at work.
I work in a cafe. When I take the food out in multiple runs to/from the pass, sometimes they will stop me as I turn to get the rest of their order saying "excuse me, there was supposed to be x item with this as well?". I clearly just came over here with my hands full of plates. In my head I think "I've only got two hands" (bitch) but usually my eyes glaze over and I say yes it's just coming.
The time I actually said I've only got two hands, with a smile, didn't go over well with the customer. I laughed it off but she didn't find it funny.
I also make coffee behind the bar. I will complete an order on a tray, call out what's on it and look around to see who looks up so I can say thanks, enjoy your drinks, and ask if they will manage to carry it okay. It's about 50/50 at this point when someone else will immediately say "actually it was (blah blah their drink order)" then look at me as if I'm stupid. The only time I said "well, you're not the only person in the world and that is the order before yours" the dude was embarrassed and actually laughed it off with me. My smile must have been extra charming that day
retail lol. i always hit a certain point where i stopped caring and would be as rude as i could to asshole customers. love the nice ppl and casual folk who just want their shit done
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady over the phone asking to talk to another worker. So I put her on hold, or at least I thought I did. While on โholdโ I said โHey [coworkerโs name], this bitch wants to talk to youโ to my coworker. We have quite the sense of humor in the workplace mind you. He said to tell her that heโs on break. Apparently I pushed the โspeakerโ button on accident prior to what I just said and she heard the whole thing. She told me that she isnโt mad and that customers wouldnโt like to hear that. She didnโt make a big deal about it and I respect her for that. I cringe every time I think about this.
Someone called and asked if we were hiring. Family Dollar has online applications that have the test portion (questions that were super easy to bullshit through). I should've said "It'll make you take the test it's super easy" but instead I said "It'll make you take a test to see if you're smart." Hopefully the kid on the phone wasn't too offended but I fucked up.
Not me per se, but a coworker I used to work with at a liquor store.
Guy was fun to work with on the weekends, because our senses of humor lined up pretty well.
Basically, out of boredom, we'd just pick out random, unpleasant people to rail on after they left the store. So during the tail end of a 5pm rush of everyone running by to get the necessary requirements to get liquored up after work on a Friday, this big, old, sweaty, heavy-breathing bastard is yelling at us up behind the front counter to come back and show him "where the damn Aristocrat is". So my co-worker takes up the charge and points this bubble gut in the direction of a half gallon of cheap ass rum. The guy gets two and I ring him up at the register. So after he huffs and puffs his way out of the store, we do our usual tidying up of the shelves to make everything look nice and neat again. As we're doing this my co-worker begins the usual, entertaining routine:
"Tell me where the Aristocrat is! I'm needing my fat, drunk ass self something to sip on tonight! That gross, sweaty bastard."
Right around "gross sweaty bastard" we both are rounding the corner of the same isle from opposite sides and spot a small, little lady checking out the bourbons. I nearly lose it and have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop from dying from laughter as he apologizes profusely to her, saying he had no idea the store wasn't empty.
Cool thing was, her response to him went like "Well I'm about to start cussing myself if these people don't text me back telling me what to get."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a cashier at a home improvement store. A guy is attempting to get his wallet put of a pair of moose knuckle jeans and ends up flinging the wallet directly into my chest. My immediate response was, "Woah now! I'm not in that profession!" We both had a good laugh.
Less of a "I shouldn't have said that" and more of a "I shouldn't have done that". I was at the end of my shift, a coworker was right next to me to take over. I served one customer because she had like one product and after that I wanted to take my money drawer and let my coworker take over.
Now, the couple behind the lady I had just served started complaining about how much they stayed in line and other shit. So, I look this guy in the eye as I log out of my cash register, slam close the money drawer and take it out. Dude was so pissed he threw everything he had in his hands on the ground.
And as a side note, I worked in a home improvement store.
Working at Starbucks, I was putting drinks out on the bar. Someone ordered a black eye (coffee with 2 shots of espresso). I put drinks out on the bar and call them out, Grande caramel macchiato, tall vanilla latte, tall black eye. Nobody came for the coffee so I put out a couple couple more drinks and call out again, venti caramel frappuccino, tall cappuccino, tall black eye. Now after a couple minutes, nobody has claimed the coffee and it was sitting alone on the bar so I yelled out "Yo! Tall black eye! On the bar!". It only occurred to me at that moment, as a tall black man was walking toward me, that this was his drink and "Tall black eye" yelled at full volume does not sound like a beverage. I said "Tall coffee, two shots, tall coffee, two shots" and walked away to make other drinks. I didn't stick around for the awkward exchange unfortunately.
I worked at petsmart in high school. On my last shift, I couple came in and stated to berate me when they noticed the price on the cashier didnโt match up to the price they saw in the aisle. I very, exasperated said, โjust take it! Itโs free, ok?!โ
I owned a shop with 2 others, I originally demanded that we'd never sell anything we would not buy ourselves (quality wise) but as I got busier with other stuff the stock buying fell onto the one guy I did not want to go into business with in the first place and he just started buying all the cheapest junk possible. Even worse, he'd buy huge bulk orders of stuff which took ages to sell just because our supplier assigned a very pretty girl as our accounts manager and he thought he might get laid if he spent enough money...so glad I got out of that partnership :D
ekst0l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone link the greentext 'no tomato for the potato'
I sell glass. A woman had said โthey came and tore up all the glassโ. To try and empathize I asked what exactly had happened. She said โwell I was in the n*gger part of town...โ
Not a customer but a patient. Patient was complaining that they had it waiting in ED and was just going to go home after all the tests, irregardless of what the test results. So irritated that this prick is wasting public resources (Australia), I ask him 'why don't you just go home now, why sit here and waste my time and your time?'. I was hoping I could take the words back as I said them but he had nothing to say, probably either in shock or a light bulb moment. Either way, don't come to a hospital a day think you're the only one there and whinge when there are more serious categories to see first. Go to a private hospital if you want A1 service.
TL:DR: Lady calls in with simple tech support problem. I express my frustration a little too loud after an hour and a half. Got an ear-full for my trouble.
Lady found company phone number online and wanted help setting up her email in outlook. The business itself handled mostly small/medium sized businesses but my bosses decided they didn't want to close any doors so they left the home user support in there in case of a rainy day which was just great for me having to field all those calls in the middle of managing client servers and networks, but whatever, part of the job.
Normally I'd give the user some rates for phone support or onsite support but I was feeling generous and figured setting up an outlook account (clicking about 5 buttons, filling in a few fields with email addresses and passwords, selecting the correct radio box) would be so short it wasn't worth charging. Turns out this lady was one of those people who can't find the backspace button on their keyboard even if you physically put their finger on it and said "that one, push that one".
The first 15mins were a futile attempt to get her to enter her email address and email server. I then switched to trying to get her to download some remote desktop software since all that takes is a google search, clicking the top result and clicking the big download button and installing. Another 30mins of trying to get her to download the thing when it finally comes to installing it she refuses because it could be a virus (surprisingly smart decision in any other case but she found my number and called me. Why can't whoever told her that be helping her with her email?)
There is no convincing her so we go back to the blind leading the illiterate getting her email details in the fields. After another 30mins, almost an hour and a half call with this lady, doing something a 5 year old could have figured out in 10 minutes, her email is finally coming in. At this point I'm committed to the free assistance because there's no way she's going to fork over even a fraction of the $100/hr rate I'd have to charge her after the fact. She says thanks for the help and hangs up. I let the phone call to my side, look over at my coworker who's loving ever second of my torment, and say in what I thought was a low volume "please, kill me now."
"EXCUSE ME???!" I hear from the phone. Oh. Shit. She then goes on a tirade of how she called me for help, that it was extremely disrespectful, etc etc. While she wasn't exactly wrong I doubt she could see the situation from my perspective, but I'm not going to argue. I say sorry, I was saying it to my coworker, not her, that I was frustrated with how long it took. She let me know she's never using our service (that she didn't pay for, though it was my fault) again and hung up. Thankfully the bosses never heard about it. Last good deed for a home user I did while working there though. From then on home users had to bring their problem to me so I didn't have to deal with phone walk-throughs.
There's a longer story behind it, but at the first company I worked for (Unix admin consulting) at my very first on-site customer visit with a senior rep, I saw the rep was about to delete /etc/passwd so he could "start anew" with the user administration to fix the problem that noone could log in. The realisation of what was about to happen if he pressed enter hit me before I could think of what it would look like to the customer to have a junior admin shout "NO YOU MORON!" to the senior in front of the company owner.
The problem was that the disk was full btw. Expunging the logs fixed it.
I opened a bottle of red wine at a table with my new wine key (a wine opener but faster to use, more compact, has a small blade to cut the foil around the rim)
Well, I cut the foil off, started to insert the cork part, and noticed red liquid on the rim of the bottle. I quickly said,
"Our wine... is not that color. I think I cut my finger; please excuse me while I go clean this up."
They were cool about it, understood. No blood in the wine!
I was working in a parking lot where I talked to hundreds of people per day and I always had a same script of words and it always ended in ..."after that you're good". Then one day while talking to an old couple I said "you're Gucci" and they looked at me so confused.
Probably too late to the thread but I used to work at a nice bank on the swanky end of town as an assistant to the personal finance director. We had bathrooms that were one room per gender and as I was in one, a customer was frantically pulling on the door. Flustered trying to get out quickly, I rush washed my hands and yanked open the door to see a very gender-neutral person waiting. โThis is the ladies roomโ, I said quickly. โI AM a lady!โ they replied back.
Then I shrunk back to my desk hoping they didnโt have an appointment with us.
I was waiting on a large party of 9-11 year old kids with their mothers. At the end of the meal I cleared all the plates and instead of asking if they wanted any coffee or dessert before paying I walked to the table and excitedly blurted out, โdid anyone save room for ice cream?!โ The kids all shouted โyeah!!!โ and a wave of shock punched me right in the face when I immediately realized what I had said, and that most importantly my restaurant didnโt even serve ice cream........ of course it was the only time when every mom would agree to dessert, which left me explaining that we never even have ice cream and I didnโt know why I said that. Dug myself deeper into dirty looks from angry moms. Regrets.
Working the front desk at a hotel I took a call from a very uppity country mama.
UCM- My daughter can stay with me so I need to cancel her reservation.
Me- That wonโt be any problem at all but I will need your daughter to call and cancel since her name is on the reservation.
UCM- That is the silliest thing Iโve ever heard. I made the reservation so I can cancel it, Iโm her Mama!
Me- I understand you made the reservation but since it is in her name I will need her to call us herself.
UMC- WHY?
Me- Because she is an adult! ...also it is against company policy to allow anyone to make changes to someone elseโs account.
She hung up on me. To this day I have no idea why I said that to this woman and as the words fell out of my mouth I instantly knew it was going to be soooo bad. Thankfully my manager laughed and called me an idiot. Good times.
imodelz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once mistook a customer for a new employee... I was just starting my shift and noticed a guy in a white dress shirt and dress slacks at the hos stand. I'm trying to get the table chart updated so I ask "do you know if (insert random employee's name here) just took those people to table 24, or was it 36?". He replied in a shitty manner (UMMMMM NO I wouldn't know that actually I'm a high level finance manager for so and so company).
As I realized what I had done, the color drained from my face and I dropped what I was doing and bolted back to the kitchen while another host led him to his table.
Apologies for formatting, on mobile.
I have a few of these but Iโll give you my faves. Iโve worked a lot of retail but my most recent (and current) job is a supervisor at a vape shop.
The other day a customer called to ask if we had a particular part for a vape and said that we didnโt carry it, but that a competitor might.
โDo you know their hours?โ
โI donโt. I could google it, but I suppose you could always do that too.โ
Weโre pretty free in this shop to behave how we want with customers, as long as we donโt cross any major lines. So usually I like to mess with people as much as I can.
This girl was looking for a small pocket sized device. I happened to have mine on me and offered to let her try it. Among my coworkers, weโll usually joke around when trying each others vapes about minding the herpes etc. Iโd never say that to a customer though. Except this time I must have had a stroke or something because when she asked if I was sick, I just went โoh itโs nothing contagious,โ and gestured around my mouth, โitโs just genital.โ My manager was standing right next to me and we were all quiet for a few seconds before he went โheโs just messing with you. โ Iโm still not sure why I said that, but we all laughed it off. Luckily she worked at another vape shop and we all tend to be sort of funny people otherwise the situation would have gone differently. I was beet red for the rest of the conversation.
I work in an ER. Had a patient come in for a minor something or other. His preteen daughter was all over the place. She kept saying,"I don't see why you have to work on Christmas eve and Christmas! That's awful, no one should have to work a holiday. Why do they have you working on Christmas!?"
"Because you're here." She was quiet after that. I meant to say something along the lines of its a necessary service every day, and that includes holidays, but being sleep deprived, it came out pretty rude.
I used to work with adults with special needs. I would help them with skills to be independent. It was called an ILS worker. I made my own schedule, but if people didn't show up, or cancelled and I was unable to replace the hours, I wouldn't get paid for my full day. I only got paid for time spent with a client. And I had a client call me on a Monday and tried to cancel an appointment on Friday because she didn't feel well. I am a pretty blunt person, and I don't play games like this. So I said "No you aren't, you're just trying to get out of meeting me. You don't need to lie, just cancel the appointment." Well apparently she didn't like that too much because next thing I know she's asked for a new staff. I know I could have been a little less abrasive, but it was the third appointment in a row she cancelled. They real shitty part is she lived in the middle of nowhere, and I happened to live pretty close to the middle of nowhere, so I was the only worker willing to Go out there. My boss blamed me for that
I was in a family planning clinic when what I then assumed to be a young female couple approached me. One of them sized me up and asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships.
There's a sarcastic asshat who works the drive through at our local Arby's who always says "see you tomorrow" before I leave. I don't know why, but it always catches me off guard.
This actually happened today. I tutor kids in a tutoring center and sometimes I have to adjust seating arrangements to avoid putting talkative kids together. Anyways today I separated two girls and they were immediately upset with me.
When raising their hands for help, if I was the tutor to answer they'd say never mind or generally give me attitude. I shrugged it off and didn't bother responding to their raised hands after asking if they wanted me to help a couple of times. It came time for me to clock out and as I was walking towards the clock out machine I had to walk past one of the girls. She smugly looks at me and says "I don't want your help" without skipping a beat I responded "wouldn't help you if I could" and walked out. In hindsight it was kinda fucked but dealing with kids all day can get to you.
I asked a customer if he wanted a refill on a coke and he replied with no, which i followed by: โah are you all coked out?โ When i walked away i was like why why why why would i say that
OhDuvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This wasnt me, but my friend.
He was stocking tills near a shelf when a regular customer started talking to him. He was only employed there a week or two, so she was trying to politely find out a little about him. She asked him did he hand in a CV to get the job and he replied, "No, I was just kinda given it. Haha"
"Oh." She placed the shopping basket down and walked straight out of the shop. Her similarly aged son had sent in a CV about a month prior looking for a job and he never heard anything back. The manager on the till had a right laugh.
I work at KFC, and one time I was serving a customer on window in drive thru. She ordered like a 5 stars box and wanted extra salt on the chips, so I put extra salt on the chips, and say have a good one. The next minute later she comes through and says there wasnโt enough salt on her chips so I said sorry and proceeded to make another batch of chips with more salt, and then intended to give it back to her, before she stopped me and said โdo you really expect me to eat that?โ And she told me to take them back at do it again. At this point I started getting frustrated because I couldnโt please this bitch. Anyway one last time I did her chips, and again, she still had something to complain about. This time I just gave it to her, and said โwhat do you want me to do? Iโve exhausted all my options hereโ or something along the lines of that. She replied with โIโm gonna go home and if I canโt eat them Iโm going to take them back and make you wear them.โ I just slammed the door after that and she took off. She didnโt come back.
I was on my honeymoon with my wife and we decided to go to Disney. As we were there we were exploring animal kingdom and I see the timon and pumbaa muskrat things. Of course, being a Disney fan I quote the lion from lion king 1 & 1/2, โScurry, sniff, flinch!โ
Immediately a Disney employ turns to me and says, โI canโt believe they made that movie, massive mistake, potentially the worst Disney movie ever made.โ
Iโm shocked and I could only squeeze out, โthatโs actually one of my favourite Disney movies......โ
Couldnโt believe a Disney employ would say something like that so bluntly. I can appreciate the honesty but most people would never expect that from Disney staff.
Work in a pharmacy. During my first year a couple bought a Plan B. Sold it to them and as they go to leave I say, "good luck! Have a great day!" They stop for a sec to turn and look sheepishly at me while I stare with a "I'm a dumbass" look. I've learned to just say thank you.
I work at McDonald's and when we first got the kiosks a guy asked if the food is cheaper since he has to take his own order. I said it's free if you bring your own. Ya... He was not pleased.
Client: 'Hey the coffee maker says it's out of water, who can I turn to to have ir fixed?'
Me in accidental bratty teenager mode: 'You can turn to the water tap'
I was once on the phone to a customer who was asking when their payment would hit their bank account. I had a total brain fart and got the words working and banking confused in my head. Yep, I told a guy the money would be in his account in three โWankingโ days!
At this point the call could have gone one of two ways. I could have had someone screaming at me or someone in hysterics laughing. Luckily he fell into the second category. I stuttered my way through to the end of the call and hung up to find my entire team in tears round about me. Not my finest moment!
I got pulled over once for making an illegal turn. I was really nervous but the cop was being really nice. I thought I was going to get away with it because of how nice he was being. When he returned he said "Ok, I'm going to give you a citation" In my head, I thought it was a warning cause I expected to hear "ticket". I replied by saying "oh thank god thank you officer for being understanding". After he left I realized he did give me a ticket. I felt like an idiot for thanking him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did telemarketing for a charity, people would still get really mad. Once a guy told me my kind was the scum of the earth, and we all deserved to be dragged into the street and shot. I said "thank you sir, and will you be donating the bullet, or will I have to provide my own?". He hung up, I marked him down for a call back, he didn't say no, and that's what you have to say for us not to call back.
I was asked what happened, more out of curiosity of why I said that, management laughed, luckily they liked me.
Once I was on a remote session with a customer on chat, and this person came in late, we took extra time to get things fixed and I ended up in the office until 9 PM.
I was not upset but rather tired. I wad chatting with my friends on Desktop Whatsapp, and I was typing "I am the only person at the office. I should get a raise just on the grounds of being an intense worka-" the window chat of my customer switched as she typed something and I typed "holic" and pressed enter.
I just wrote "sorry, typo. Have s good evening!" and left the session.
I met her later in person next week and she did not think much of it but I seriously thought she would say something to my boss sbout the holicisms.
I was working the drive through window of a Burger King one night, and our timer wasnโt looking too good. We were running a little over three minutes, while it was supposed to be under 2:45. It seemed no matter how hard we tried, we just couldnโt get the darn thing down. It was probably 10:45, we closed in 15 minutes, and I was dead.
Anyways, a car came through, and this guy ordered some no salt fries with his meal. As many of you already know, this is a pain, because it means we have to cook fresh fries, and they literally take 2:45 seconds to cook.
So the guy pulls around. Heโs the only one in the drive through. I cash him out, and I ask him if he would pull ahead. He gives me this smug, quizzical look, dramatically checks all three of his mirrors, and tells me, โI donโt see any other cars.โ
I tell him, โyeah, but youโre on a timer, and it would really help if - -โ
Cutting me off, he informs me, โIโll tell you what. If I see a car pull around, Iโll pull up.โ
For a split moment, I let my internal monologue slip out, before realizing.
โ...Look, Iโm about ready to frickinโ kill myself. โ
The smug face disappears. He looks ahead, and pulls up. 2 minutes later I run his food out. He makes no eye contact and drives away.
The next day we get a complaint about the staff at our restaurant being miserable :/
TL:DR
I told a customer at a BK I was going to kill myself because they didnโt want to pull ahead for two minutes.
I was working in a supermarket and had been having a bad day. Customer comes up and asks a fairly pointless question, I can't remember what it was, I answered it. He then asks where is the milk, I turn to my right and point at it in full view. He huffs and asks where the milk comes from.
I answered cows and walked away.
He asked to speak to my manager, who luckily found it hilarious.
nabazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at cvs and a guy came up to me with really bad acne and he asked me if I knew about anything in the acne Aisle and I was like nah that aisle is for girls. And I look up at his neck and he had really bad acne.... as soon as I saw that I knew I fucked up. So I started to kiss his ass. I feel bad now and I learned my lesson.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a server at Dennyโs, had a regular old gal always come in (or so I thought), asked her how she was and that it was good to see her and asked where her husband was that morning.
She looked at me, teared up, and said โmy husband has passed 2 years agoโ
In highschool working for subway, guy about my age (16/17) was trying to get my to fight him because his mom was being rude to my coworker and my coworker was visibly pissed at her. I said โwhat kid, do you have something youโre trying to prove to your mommy?โ
Mom threatened to call the cops on me and ended up calling my boss and corporate.
YB9017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer. But it was a sales call. I was working as an accountant at a small firm. We got a call from another accounting place asking if we could use extra accounting services. I recognized the name and voice of the person calling me after their short โhello my name is x Iโm calling from ____โ introduction. For some reason I thought it was totally ok to say โyes. I remember. We spoke two years ago on the phone about xx and xx. You work at this and do this and are asking about abc. I remember.โ
Id only ever spoke to this person once in my entire life over the phone. Person didnโt know who I was. Didnโt remember me or ever making a sales call to my job. Mi scared the shit out of them. For some strange reason I remembered every little detail.
This has never happened to me since then. But they were weirded out as shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long ago I worked at a fast food restaurant and worked the register most of the time. It was during lunch rush, I was giving a guy his tray and asked if he would like any salt and pecker packets. We both just stared at each other in awkward silence until he said no thanks. yeah... that really happened.
Server at a restaurant. We only allow therapy dogs. This dog had one eye, so I asked if it was therapy dog. The lady said no but he was very well behaved and would just lay under the table.
We were slow and no managers were around so I figured why not and Iโll just let it slide. I decided the best way to say that was, โalright itโs ok but as long as you keep and eye on himโ.
She noticed the exact moment I realized what I said and she replied with a wry, โriiightโ
Late to the party + not my story but my friends. Me and my friend, lets call him Joe, worked at a place that was kinda like an arcade but also had bowling and paintball. Joe didnt like his job very much even though he just started working, and despite his attitude he got trained to work front desk where we sell day passes and arcade cards. A customer comes in, and asks Joe which pass he should get for his family, and Joe promptly replies, โThe two hour pass is the most popular, but I reccomend the one hour pass because you might get bored, thereโs not that much to do inside.โ The customer turns out to be the owner of the place, and he tells Joe this and sends him home for the day, even though he had a full work day ahead of him. Next time he came in, he was fired on the spot. Joe told me he had no regrets, besides not stealing a pizza when he was fired.
Was installing a security system at a customers home. At one point Iโm going over the camera live feed feature from their phone. We had a good rapport going and I said, โThis is a great feature you can use from anywhere. You can even use it to screen who is at your door... yโknow so you can avoid those pesky jehovas witnesses.โ
Luckily they burst out laughing. They then explained that being JW it made it even funnier. While I appreciated them letting me off the hook, the mood was noticeably changed after the fact.
Mysta02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Busty girl comes in the store, asks where something is.
Used to work at a bike shop and told a guy to use WD-40 to lubricate his chain, I can't believe I said that and I hope he learned how stupid that would be.
myztry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Water Displacer 40 often gets used to lube things and it works for a period of time even though thatโs not itโs purpose.
Why is it stupid for the short term other then you should follow up with grease which will stick around?
Eknoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a banking call centre and would routinely be subjected to abuse from customers over bank fees.
We had a policy of a once off fee reversal and after that it was manager's discretion.
Usually as a retort to the abuse I would say to the customers that I apologise for the fees, however being a multinational company we are run as a profiting business not a charity.
I was working in a jewelry store showing rings to a man in a wheel chair. I said, "when you wear our jewelry you're a walking advertisement for us..." to a man who could not walk. Ugh.
tarlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a school supporting large scale printers. One semester, after my group had controlled them for years, the control of the printers was handed over to a class during the end of their projects. Unbeknownst to me, there was an issue with the printer and the printer driver where print jobs would just disappear. If I remember correctly, it had to do with the print job size being above 100mb or something. Anyway, i thought one group of students was in control of the queue for printing, and other students were complaining to me. I said offhandedly that they need to talk to those two exchange students, because it was my understanding they are running the print queues, and if jobs are being deleted it is probably them. Well... I was accused of being against people from their country and was trying to turn the school against them. There was a formal complaint made against me to the dean and my manager. They said I always treated them badly and disrespected them. I honestly didn't think I had, though one of them often needed to use more resources which I sometimes balked at.
It really made me a lot more careful about what I said. Nothing ended up happening to me. My manager stood behind me and I left a few months later.
Obligatory not me, but a friend I know works for customer care. She told the story of how once a customer received a large sex toy in place of the item she ordered and was astonished by the size and just really weirded out by the mix-up. The customer says jokingly "who buys a 20 inch dildo?!" Its too big! Its crazy, how can you fix this?!" To which my friend, the customer rep blurted out unthinkingly "I'm so sorry, what size would you prefer?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady came into the coffee shop I worked at and starts asking how many calories are in each drink: "how many calories in a tall latte?" "Ok, how about in the smallest size latte?" "How many calories in a nonfat mocha?"..... I get so fed up I blurt out "May I suggest a water? It's no calories."
I remember reading a TIFU about a guy who told a black customer "We don't serve your kind here" as a joke. Apparently both of them were fans of 2 opposing sports teams with an intense rivalry, and the customer was wearing the jersey for his team. He managed to clear up the misunderstanding since he was wearing his team's jersey under his uniform.
Beena22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a previous job one of our customers set his massive dog onto another customer because he owed him money and it caused a massive fight in the office, with security guards tackling people and random punches being thrown. As I was on the phone to the police the guy who owned the dog was in my face threatening me and telling me not to tell them it was his dog. It was pure chaos at that moment and having this dude in my face whilst people were shouting and fighting was not conducive to a happy day at work. I finally snapped and aggressively pointed in his face and shouted โFUCK OFF AND GO AND STAND OVER THERE!โ He did and never made a complaint against me thankfully. As soon as I said it I thought โOh oh...probably shouldnโt have done thatโ
I was in training to be apart of this telecommunications company where we called people to take political surveys. My first practice call I had a bite of what sounded like a middle-aged man who was bored with his life and wanted to get his jollies off on my phone call but was still semi-serious about it. My trainer was listening the whole time critiquing me making sure I didnt say the wrong thing or say something bad because I was young.
Somewhere along the conversation he started to ask me questions which was strange and they were very personal and weird questions like "what do you think my stance should be?" "Whats your name" and other things I cant quite remember but all I remember is my trainer talking me through how to answer these questions professionally until he asks a question so strange even she turned to me and asked me "is he coming onto you". Now before that the few questions he asked at first she was telling me what to say and I would repeat it to him but when she asked me if I thought he was coming onto me I immediately went back to the phone and asked him, "sir are you coming onto me?". Luckily he laughed and was not bothered but I was not supposed to say that lol. She was going "no no!" In very aggresive but quiet manner.
I had a customer say she was going to call the cops because we were defrauding her becauee we gave her the wrong pizza (even though it was right) after she ordered online. I had resist the urge to laugh.
Worked in a call centre many years ago... never did it myself, but it was quite common for the end of a conversation to go.
customer: 'thanks have a nice day... bye'
staff member: 'love you, bye!'
Apparently this instinct is a popular one! Never a complaint about it though... maybe there's customers walking around thinking they're just that loveable
I had a customer in an electronics store come up to the counter I was working at. Sales guy following, trolley piled high with expense theatre system.
Customer is a midget.
He decides to pay in cash and starts counting. Gets to the end of his cash and realises he doesn't have enough so he asks me if he can put the rest on his card.
"Oh, you're a little short? No problems, we can do that!".
I take his money and process his card while he looks at me very strangely. I keep my face completely straight but the sales person is desperately trying not to laugh and the other cashier's have all fallen below their counters and just tried to laugh quietly.
I managed to keep it completely straight, immediately turned to serve the next customer and held out on laughing until the customer said "yep, he's gone now" and I just gave up.
I told a customer one second please so I could ask my manager a question, and I'd be there ASAP. I had been waiting for her to come out of the service desk area. Customer was mad because I was so rude. Full-on fake politeness mode through her order. Say goodnight and get a grunt in return.
"If you want to preach politeness you better practice it!"
The payment system was down so I couldn't pay her benefits. She said ok, I'll stay on the phone until you can pay me. I said "I'll put you on hold then until you get bored." she hung up after 40 minutes.
p_oho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a cashier at a local grocery store and I was in a particularly chipper mood. This woman comes to my line buying a ton of appetizers and finger foods. I ask her โWhereโs the party at?โ And she said it was a funeral reception. To which my dumbass just picked up the cheese and crackers and said โThis is a good choice.โ Stood in silence for a minute and never made eye contact with her.
I worked at Verizon (TCC, Authorized retailer, to be exact) and we had this particularly ornery customer in one day. They had an issue with their service and her and her husband were in the business of transporting luxury camp trailers to their new owners.
So here the trailer movers were, on their high horses lecturing me about how they were missing out on $500 an hour of revenue just to be in my store getting their plans fixed. After about an hour of making a sincere effort to solve their problem, I admitted to them that only a tech support agent with corporate clearance could proceed from here. At which point, the lady states very bluntly;
"You're in customer service, you HAVE to fix this."
To which I responded, looking her dead in the eye
"No, mam, I'm in sales, and I'm missing out on about $50 an hour helping you with tech support"
I gave her the number for customer service and told her she would need to leave the store. I also went to the back and left through the back door to take my lunch break.
If anyone here is a customer service rep with Verizon corporate; I'm sorry on behalf of authorized stores everywhere for all the pissed off customers we don't want to deal with. You're our guardian angels, though ๐ bless you
worked atma tool place. Guy brings up a box marked drywall saw. It was really early and i did not get enough sleep, so i dont know how to speak just yet. This guy asks "is this a drywall saw? " I was also having a hard time reading because my eyes were still dry, so i just reached for the box, brought it up close enough to read, and, whole heartedly, read the title of the box " drywall saw " because i was priming to throw in the details fantastically, and he interrupts telling me, "yeah, i can read."
I didnt say a word. It struck me why it was offensive and i was appalled at my actions, but then i couldn't figure out a better way to put it. I'm still confused.
bravehw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a cashier normally but sometimes they have me cover breaks at the customer service desk (major retail chain). I go from saying โhey, what can I help you with?โ to being back on a regular check-out lane and occasionally accidentally ask regular guests coming through my line the same question. Iโm sure theyโre like โ....uhh, Iโm just trying to buy some snacks and a $3 scarf, what do you mean?!?โ
Was the manager of a used tire shop for several years. Innumerable customers bitched endlessly about there being sales tax on the tires, as if it were some con I had cooked up myself sheerly out of racism.
One such customer, on a very busy day, asked in a bitchy tone, "what the hell do I have to do to not pay this scam?" or something similar.
I replied, "move to New Hampshire," and left the office.
I was trying to sell a couple a laptop, they had bought in a really old and shitty one and really anything we had was going to be faster.
They had picked one of our mid ranged laptops, and to try and convince them how slow their old laptop was compared to what we had, I stupidly said "your old laptop is so slow our cheapest one is probably faster!"
They turned around and said "yeah? Well let's look at that one instead!"
Still managed to sell the mid ranged one but man do I cringe when I think about what I said. It was my 5th day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While in an emergency department with a patient with severe back pain from a previous spinal trauma I mentioned to my coworker how my back hurts so much from last night's back day at the gym. As soon as I said it I felt like a piece of shit.
Lil late but I used to be a server and once I was showing my coworkers pictures of the man with two penises aka doubledickdude. My other coworker called me to the front to help him because our card reader wasn't working. I proceeded to open up my phone to check the Internet right up to a picture of doubledickdudes big meaty cocks. The customer saw and looked me straight in the eyes and i said err, dont think about it too hard and ran away and let my coworker deal with it hahah.
Maybe a little different response, not funny at all. After many bad sleeps, I was tired as hell and going through the normal processes when I was listing a customer's children and didn't notice the deceased label next to her newest child. As soon as the words left my lips I felt pure dread at the realisation of what I had done. I apologized profusely and completed the call but that has stuck with me as I understand the loss of a newborn.
I work the front desk in an ER. Weโve been busy as shit the last year. There isnโt an influx of sick or injured people, they just love the attention. Anyway, a woman was bitching at me one night about how long she has been waiting. I told her many times, politely, that there were no open rooms. The doctors and nurses are trying to get rooms open for everyone, theyโre just swamped. She wouldnโt quit pestering me even when I was trying to get others checked in or help them out of their cars. I finally told her โyouโre not special, you will wait like everyone else in my lobbyโ. Yeah...apparently people donโt like to be told they arenโt special lol. I got in trouble for that one.
One time I was working in the Walmart photo lab and a pair of customers came up and asked me something I canโt remember about Walmart. I, thinking it is my coworkers from electronics, yell pretty loudly (the photo lab was a pretty isolated area) โfuck Wal-Mart!โ Boy was I in shock when I turned around.
I used to work in the footwear department of a sports store. A paraplegic man came in to try on some shoes and things were going good. I brought him the shoes he asked for and he put them on while I went to help another customer. When I came back he was checking them out in the mirror and in all my infinite wisdom I decided to ask โhow do those feel?โ Needless to say I lost a sale that day...
I tripped putting a bag in a cart and a guy on crutches asked if I was okay. I was fine and I was trying to be friendly so I said โIโll survive, but are YOU okay?โ He laughed awkwardly and then I looked down and realized HIS WHOLE LEG WAS GONE.
It was my first time in a serving gig, had only worked there a few months, and in hindsight the job wasnโt a very good fit for my lack of social skills.
I had a couple sitting at the sushi bar who was just about ready for the check, and I approached them to ask about dessert. After making conversation and talking about their meal, I asked if they would be interested in anything sweet to finish off their dining experience. They were both a bit buzzed, the man more so that the woman, and while I was trying to give them their options for desserts he interrupted a few times mentioning what he was, wasnโt in the mood for, etc.
Now. There were many, many times in that job that I wanted to be a snide, petty little cunt to customers who were rude and all around unpleasant people, but this was not one of those times. I enjoyed my (brief) interactions with these customers and would never have acted in such a way even with customers who I believed DID deserve it.
However, in my attempt to say โwell let me lay out the options for youโ or something to that effect, what my brain decided would be a better fit was โwell if you would let me talk...โ and before I could even shut my stupid mouth up I saw both of their eyes widen.
I had no idea how to dig myself out of this hole, so with my face mirroring theirs I just kind of continued. I told them the flavors of mochi, the typical banana/ice cream bit, and then wallowed in shame for the rest of my shift.
That day I learned: I should not be a server.
ekkso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you, bye!" On the phone while thinking about my gf.
Customer walks into the bar I was working, notice that his left hand is completely missing from the elbow down, possibly an accident or something similar. I pay no attention to it and simply get their drinks.
After the order is completed, I give them a tray to carry the drinks (they were 4-5 different drinks) and ask them "Need a hand?"
I immediately thought to myself "oh shit", but the dude was pretty ok with it, he just looked at me, and laughed it off.
working 10pm to 6am shifts really mess your head up, as a customer was walking away i meant to say "be on your way" and my brain wanted to say "go on your way" what came out was "okay go away now!"
Whilst working the Wendy's front cash a fairly serious looking older man's order came to the ol' $6.66 so I chipperly asked him if he was the antichrist. There was no laughing.
Saw an armless reaching for kayaks. Me being a nice, concerned employee blurts out: Sir, would you like a hand?"
Literally didn't even finish helping. I felt so bad I went straight to the back and told a coworker to see if he needs help. I didn't come back out until he left the store.
Jacitup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for direct tv a few years ago. While doing an install I usually make small talk with the people there. During the education part about how the remote and system works we somehow managed to get on the subject about the local strip club. The client, a woman who wasnโt all that great looking to me, she was short and round, asked why I had never bothered to go there. I replied โItโs just not my thing. Not much for stop clubs.โ โOh, they arenโt that bad. I used to strip thereโ she said. I opened my mouth and the words โAnd thatโs whyโ came out. I stopped dead and threw my hand over my mouth. I then left in a hurry.
Guy came in one day and held up a pork loin to his (assumed) wife and says โlook how fat it isโ to which my ability of quick, intelligent, uncontrollable banter kicks in and I say โjust like your momโ. Didnโt see me say it but I dipped the fuck out as soon as I could.
Had a client on the phone complaining for 45 minutes about how her parents phone number had been changed when they moved house and they want the old one back since they've had it for years. Turns out they moved over a year ago and only just asked about this and the old number had already been recycled to another house. Anyway after repeatedly telling her this and there's nothing I can do she finally agreed to hang up when I said in a reflex "thank you for calling, have a nice day"
She flipped out and stated shouting at me for being so rude and I shouldn't thank her when I have been so useless. She was on the phone for another 45 minutes........it was my second day
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you do any research before buying this product at all?"
BLCKAFR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a Publix. A regular came in, told me she was one, since I had just started. I looked squarely at her and said โGood for you maโam.โ
Was working at this local wendys as a cashier, these two brothers come in and they were clearly blue collar hard working kids, so their orders taking awhile and we start small talking about kanye. He says "yeah kanyes kid is definatley not going to college hes got so much money there would be no point". So i, as the intellectually adept worker i am say something along the lines of "Rich parents always send their kids to college". Big F
I used to work at a call centre in the UK. When I first started we had to do calls in pairs, one person would take the call and the other person would listen in, the guy I was working with had to take a call and it was clear the pressure of the job was getting to him and for some reason he decided that the best thing to do was to put on a strong Texan accent, the guy who was calling was complaining about something quite serious and all I remember was the panic on this guys face as he realised he would have to spend the entire call using this Texan accent. The call was honestly the most painful thing I have ever had to witness.
I always play it off really cool and just like โyou look so alike!โ but every time I mistakenly address a brideโs friend as her mum is always a moment I will rewind in my head for hours. Luckily Iโve only done it maybe twice but Iโve never forgotten. Iโm a bridal stylist.
Worked in a computer shop. Woman called about something, i can't remember what, but she kept interrupting me when i was trying to answer her questions or explain the process. I eventually spoke over her and said something like "can you keep quiet for 30 seconds and let me answer your question? I'm trying to help you but i can't if you aren't going to listen and waste my time" She was taken aback, kept quiet and quickly ended the call. Worth it. Never snapped on anyone else, but she just pushed my buttons on the wrong day.
I was delivering pizzas to a guy with a fenced yard and multiple "BEWARE OF DOG" signs posted around it. There was no dog in the yard, so I jokingly asked him, "So, where's this dog I should beware of?" while he signed the receipt.
She had escaped and been hit by a car earlier that week. It was still hurting him by the look on his face when he answered.
Worked for a very popular streaming service. We experienced a crazy outage and our site was down for 2 hours. Was taking call after call, explaining the same thing over and over to angry people and I was at the end of my rope.
An irate guy calls in and immediately starts screaming about how we should let customers know when thereโs going to be an outage and this is unacceptable, blah blah blah. I explained to him that we literally canโt let customers know ahead of time because an outage is unexpectedโ itโs not scheduled maintenance. But things will be back up ASAP.
Heโs having non of it and finally screams โWELL I NEED MY SMETFLIX! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE TIME BEING, HMMM?!โ
I was working retail and had introduced myself to these three African American women. I asked them their names which all began with K. To which I responded: "oh hey the three K's" and then just walked away out of shame.
I was working at a club on the bar on a Saturday night, peak time for us. Itโs obviously busy and this guy has been waiting a while but so has everyone, if youโve worked at a bar you know what itโs like. This other guy makes his way to the bar and asks for some water as Iโm walking past. Iโm normally alright with breaking to get water for someone because they normally need it more than the guy needs his 5th sambuca shot. Anyway, the 1st guy whoโs been waiting an extra 30 seconds now shouts โwhat they hell heโs just got here Iโve been waiting ages?!โ I ask him if he wanted water as well, he replied no to which I said โwell shut the fuck up thenโ as my manager walked past. He laughed, but still had to speak to me after shift.
rci22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Combined "No problem" with "your welcome" and said "your problem" by accident on several occasions.
I work in industrial sales and was looking up pricing for parts for a customer. I called our supplier, then turned tot he customer. Told him that we are buying the parts for this price, adding this 14% fee to it, to cover our company, then marking it up 35% which brings it up to xxxx amount. Not my finest moment
I had a customer come into my work at like 9:01pm begging me to just buy one quick thing. I close at 9pm but I figured "hey I'm not a piece of shit" so I stayed open for him got what he wanted. Then he started browsing for a while and talking about literally nothing.
I kept making hints like "welp it's getting late let's get you all paid up" and he just kept talking and talking and I was getting irate at this point but then he started bitching about how our prices aren't as good as competitors and stupid shit like that(our prices are better, I know because we deliberately sell under theirs) and shit like that. I explained that to him and how he wants a deal on the shit he's trying to pay for.
I don't make deals, much less for a whiny bitch so I said no sorry I don't do that. Then he gets mad. Like real mad and raising his voice saying I'm just trying to scam him and shit like that. So I said "look man I don't set prices here, if you're so upset at the prices just shop at the competitor" to which he says "well I'm already here". I replied saying "Well then I guess you're going to pay whatever we list things as". He didn't like that one bit. He keeps saying "I should not have to pay these horrible prices and blah blah"
Now I'm fucking pissed and I told the guy "yeah you don't have to pay? The fuck are you going to do about it? You're already here either pay or get the fuck out". Yeah he didn't like that. More screaming and even more rage and he ended up throwing money at me and walking out.
I was working the grill in a small restaurant I used to work at in high school. We were in the middle of our rush and some guy walks into the kitchen and loudly asks โDo you guys have a health pyramid??โ
I looked up from what I was doing and said โNo, weirdo.โ
His jaw dropped in disbelief and I just stared at him. He finally left and my boss just shook his head.
Long story but customer in screaming at me for a ยฃ1 refund on a book (in a charity shop) explain to him canโt do that, rants for ages about taking me to Trading Standards, repeatedly tell him โitโs a charityโ but heโs not backing down. Eventually leaves. 15 mins later get a phone call from same man saying heโs reported me to TS to which I say โlook, I donโt careโ he gets even more angry so I just shout โoh fuck offโ and hang up.
Didnโt hear anything else from him, cause he probably realised he was being a nutter!
I worked at Blockbuster, a man came into the store with his 2 kids and was checking out some movies. Constantine had just came out and he asked me about it. I said Keanu Reeves is basically an exorcist and but I said that he's dying of cancer throughout the movie. He looked at his kids and said "well we aren't going to get that one then" and left. I realized instantly that underneath his hat he was wearing was a bald head and immediately felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world.
terranq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy and I used to work in the call center for our local telco. People would always call in and complain that there internet was down for an hour and want a credit applied for their inconvenience. It didn't happen often, but when it did guaranteed we'd hear about it.
My buddy got sick of it one day and told the customer fine, I'll give you a credit. How long was it out for? Guy said it was out for over an hour. So my buddy pulls out his calculator and starts crunching numbers. "OK, so the plan you're on is $34.99 a month. We'll assume a standard month is 30 days, so that means you pay $1.17 a day. There's 24 hours in a day, so you pay $0.05 per hour for your internet. I'll round up and call it 2 hours it was out, so that's a $0.10 credit on your next bill. Anything else I can help you with?"
One time I gave a gift to a female friend of mine just to be nice, it was a cheap ring with a baby chicken on it made out of fake diamonds
She was all โoh this is really cool! Whatโs that on it though?โ
I just said โitโs a chick! ๐ณ... ๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธโ
She just kinda looked at me like
โ.. really?โ
"I would have to ask my Dad first ... "
To which I relpied
" Are you not old enough to make your own decisions??? "
We both laughed but the Call was replayed in Training with everyone laughing except my Manager - who was VERY upset
Whilst watching a lady struggle with the hand towel in the toilets. It was the kind that centre feeds from the bottom then it's supposed to tear off but it wasn't playing fair and just kept on feeding. As the words left my mouth I realised it wasn't the best thing to say to a one armed women.
Fortunately she had a sense of humour and just laughed
I was working at a local grocery store with an admitedly long line. This gentlemen at the back begins to drum up attention yelling and complaining about the line. This goes on for some time and he eventually speaks to me directly "I shouldn't have to wait in line all fucking day". I respond with "You don't... you just have to wait untill its your turn". Not amused he became disorderly enough to be kicked out of the store.
This one not about me:
My homie was getting really frustrated with work and he was having a really shit day (fast food place grind in high school) he is serving at the register. This one customer comes up to him and tries to talk to him when he is in the middle of a convo with someone else about sauce refills or some stupid fucking shit. He goes to the customer "Hi welcome to restaurant would you like your food spat in or dropped on the floor?" The face of instant regret on his face man...
For some reason when I was younger I never got into the habit of saying โyouโre welcomeโ or โno problemโ I just say โyeah.โ Itโs happened many times.
โThanks for helping me out.โ
โYeah.โ
Once, on a date.
โI had a really great time. Youโre really cool.โ
โYeah.โ
It comes off so cocky and Iโve gotten better but good lord itโs not a great look.
I used to work at a clothing store,customers come in and I cheerfully greet them and ask if they're shopping for a special occasion. I was then told they were looking for an outfit to bury their mother in.
nerovox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I literally told a customer "no". They spent the next hour screaming that I was an entitled piece of shit millennial who will not in hell
I work as a fuel attendant in the state of Oregon,ย and for those of you that are unaware it is illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon or New Jersey. This means people like me and get to do it for you all day dealing with BS all the time such as getting a gun pulled on you. This happened sometime in November and since I work at a 24/7 gas station and I was doing the 6AM - 2PM shift 5 hours of which I'm alone I get a lot of rude people. Such as one morning where around 7 someone came in and asked for propane and I said no as I was the only one there and told them to come back at 11. He then comes back EVERY SINGLE HOUR and at 11:30 he comes so I walk over to help him where he said "oh look who came off of their lazy fucking ass to finally help me" where I replied with something along the lines of " fuck off I am not serving you propane and I recommend you get the fuck off of this property before we callย the cops" at this point a 2nd gentleman showed up (thankfully) to get propane so that he can go hunting. It is here when the (1st) guy goes to his car puts his propane in and pulls out a handgun and says something along the lines off "you ain't so fucking tough now are you now that I have a fucking gun are you? now pump my fucking propane before you get a bullet put through you" this is where the 2nd guy grabs his rifle out of the back and points it at the first where the first proceeds to get in his car and leave.
I work at a bar that is kind of hard to find. We always have people call in and ask for directions which is really hard to do when you have absolutely no idea where these people are. One time an older lady was really upset that I couldnโt direct her to the bar when she gave me almost no indication where she was. She said that she was going to use her cell phone to leave a bad review while her husband drove somewhere else. I said โOkay. Maybe next time use your cell phone to look up directionsโ and just hung up the phone. Didnโt fell bad at all.
I work at a gas station. A man walks in with walking sticks in his hands. It was a warm summer day. People were in a good mood and as such I was feeling a little frisky.
When he came up to me I looked at him and said โa bit warm for ski practice isnโtโ or something to that effect. He said nothing for a second. I donโt know what drove me to make a joke at the expense of walking sticks to the face of man using walking sticks. I immediately realized me mistake. He says to me โno these are walking sticksโ in a monotonous way. I think to myself why I would say something so stupid, but am relieved that he seems only mildly annoyed.
He then says โI was recently diagnosed with Parkinsonโs and my doctor says this can help meโ. I looked down and say in a hushed voice โ yes. Nothing funny about thatโ as I proceed to procure his order. He leaves with neither of us saying any thing.
As he is a regular I have since seen him and have taken the opportunity to apologize. He toke it very well. However, I havenโt seen him walking with his walking sticks since then
I was doing morning shift at subway. Kinda half asleep still. Customer comes and asks for a toastie. Our subway happens to be directly under the HQ in NZ and our manager said absolutely NO add ons to toasties (beats me why this is a rule).
So this dude comes up asks for avocado toastie, he then asks if he can have some cheese on that. I apologise and tell him that unfortunately we cant. And he's all like oh why? I tell him that the manager doesn't allow it and yeah. And then I also foolishly said "Its also really annoying for us when customers ask for add ons on toasties." Now my thinking here was that its annoying for us because we have to decline, like I would totally love to just put cheese on it or whatever.. but we're just not allowed to and it sucks telling that to every customer.
But of course, he took it the wrong way (quite easy to do so with what I said) He just said oh?... And proceeded to be all moody with me from then on. At the end he asked for a serviette. The closers from the previous night didn't bring any serviettes from the storage room so I apologized and asked him if he would like a paper towel instead. Same shit right? He got all snobby and started saying some crap like "why cant you give me a serviette? If you cant give me a serviette you should put cheese on my toastie" At that point I got a little pissed off at him. I didn't quite get why his attitude had gotten so sour, it didnt click to me that he probably took what I said the wrong way. So i tell him with a calm face (absolutely livid inside) wait there just 1 minute okay buddy? And then I went all the way around the store, went in the storage room, took my damn time finding the serviettes, walked all the way back around and gave it to him. He wants to be pissy with me, fine. But i'll be pissy back to you. He wants his serviettes, he's gonna have to wait.
Afterwards it kinda clicked to me and I felt a little bad, kinda wanted to apologise but he didn't come around again so whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables at an all you can eat place. A common stupid joke of ours is that the handicap ramp is meant to roll down after filling yourself to spherical capacity. Well... I said this to a man that I didn't realize was in a wheelchair...
Once while working at an independent movie theater, a woman was screaming in my face because we didn't have some movie she wanted to see. I said "well, maybe you should've looked at the big sign out front that shows what we're playing rather than throwing a temper tantrum like a child". She went silent, paused for about 15 seconds, then WHERE'S YOUR MANAGER!? I pointed to the owner's office. She stormed in the door and I just felt my heart sink since I had just started that job and was really enjoying it. Less than 30 seconds later she comes back out with the owner behind her yelling and the owner said "Would you just fucking leave already? Nobody gives a fuck if some dumb cunt can't read a sign and this is the first time I've seen you in 20 years of running this place, so don't come back, I don't give a fuck about losing a bitch customer like you". Suddenly I felt a bit more professional about what I said.
In the years after that, I learned that you can call a customer a fat dumb cunt right to their face, you just have to word it differently so that none of the actual words you say are swears, and make sure to keep the happy friendly voice going, it will drive them completely insane because they are seething angry with you yet there's nothing you said that they could really use to complain about you. The owner of that theater was awesome, but he was rarely there and the theater manager was a lot less tolerant of rude employees than customers.
I used to work in sales for one of my country's 3 telcos. The area I live in is semi rural, the two "big boys" have coverage most places around me but there are still dead spots. The "new blood" at the time was piggybacking off of the larger company that was our competition. We had a customer come in saying that he was sick of the two big companies running a monopoly on the mobile phone game and after talking to the new company on the phone he had changed providers and insisted we install the new SIM card in his phone as the company he had just switched to didn't have a store in town. I calmly explained that I wasn't going to do that as I wouldn't be held responsible for any issues he had. After going off for 10 solid minutes my boss came out to see what all the commotion was about. I explained the situation and the customer insisted I was just being unhelpful because he had moved to the competition and we knew that we were going to loose all our customers within a year. My boss told me to put the sim card in and went out the back smiling. I inserted the SIM card into the customers iPhone and gave him back his phone. He said something to the effect of good riddance and left the store. The next day he came in and waited to see me telling the other staff he had a bone to pick with me. When I was free he stormed up and insisted that I had done something to the settings of his phone because he wasn't getting 4G coverage at home anymore and that his mobile was his only source of internet. He demanded I fix it. I will always remember my response because I have a behavior improvment opportunity form with what I said written on it. "I didn't break your phone. You decided to change to a shitty second rate mobile network without doing any research. You then made an ass of yourself in my store for so long that my manager gave me the go ahead to change your SIM card knowing that your coverage would be shit at home because you wouldn't let me explain the situation." He then demanded I change his SIM card back. I said "Sorry sir you will have to ask one of the other staff to assist you. I don't make a habit of selling our services to assholes." Got my first and only formal warning for that interaction. After 6 years in retail I have to admit it felt good.
Had to deny an alcohol sale to people in front of her. She talks about how it is what it is and is happy she is old.
I tell her we will all get there someday and her eyes went blank and she became sad.
I realized after the fact that I should have said that she looks amazing and I should have carded her as a joke to make her feel better.
Damned awkward ending. She was laughing and super nice but I inadvertently destroyed her. Fuck. Felt so bad but it couldn't be saved. She was a broken and quiet woman in the aftermath. Ugh.
Not too serious but actually happened today - I was busing some tables and asked this one guy is there was anything else I could get him. He said "well if anything, a beer would be lovely!! haha" and I, for whatever reason replied with "I wish haha!" and walked off. It wasn't until I realized a second later that I basically said I wish I could buy him a drink. I have no idea why I said that
A lot of years ago but where I work we say โhello, do you need any help with your packing?โ. The customer had a multipack of baked beans at the front of the shopping so my workmate accidentally said โhello, do you need any help with your beans?โ
Itโs been at least ten years but it stuck in my brain.
Working in a supermarket in my teens, saw a girl who i knew quite well that i had recently discovered had been bullying my younger sister. Horrible, horrible person. She was walking by me with her mum as i man handled a 30kg bag of potatoes.
We made eye contact and before i knew it i said "what you looking at ya stupid slag".... whoops. Her and her mum went straight to customer services, i was straight in the office with HR manager and my manager to explain my self.
HR "What did you say?"
Me "I had a 30kg bag of potatoes that i hadnt got right, it took me off balance and in my own world i said to myself, "stop making me muck up ya stupid bag... i did not speak to any customer."
HR brought it, i was back out on the floor scott free with my manager stating to me on the walk back to the shop floor "i know shes a dirty slag but just dont get caught in work time telling her that... now get them potatoes filled."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked stocking a sporting goods store and was written up for this. This huge woman 350-400 lbs, came lumbering up to me holding camo zip up jacket from the children's section that was pink and black. It was the only jacket like it that we had. She demands to know where she can get one in her size and I tell her we don't have them in her size. She goes off the deep end about how nothing in the store fits her and demands I stop what I'm doing and show her where she can find a jacket that fits her. So I told her to go look at some tents two aisles over. My boss thought it was hilarious, but still had to write me up in case she made a corporate complaint. She didn't, and two weeks later the write up was thrown away.
When I worked call center, I had scheduled a technician to fix the customerโs internet. It happened that the next available day was Veterans Day. She asked if the techs were working that day, and I replied โYes, Veterans Day isnโt a company recognized holidayโ. Got a long tirade about how her husband is a vet.
And no, that wasnโt one of the days that the company gave us holiday pay on. Be glad weโd have someone fix your shit then.
tvtango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a guy the pizza was for another customer, he rolled his eyes and went bluh blah bluh bluh blah blah blah.
Then I did the same to him behind his back.
Purposefully loud enough for him to hear.
He almost leapt over the counter trying to deck me, screaming and trying to fight me
Me, over the phone: Hi! This is Sarah from Doctor Kayโs office, is Joshua there?
Lady: NO! Akskdbe!
M: Excuse me?
L: HEโS DEAD!
M: OH MY GOD! Ok! Well thatโs... thatโs good to know!
L: hangs up
M: heavy sigh
A little off topic, but a great story. My brother worked at Office Max a couple years ago and he had a lady come in and ask for an AM/FM Sony Walkman. Iโm surprised he even knew what that was but he certainly didnโt know if they had any or where they were. So he gets on the little head set to his manager and asks if they have any walkmans, to which his manager replies โHang on, let me jump in my Delorean and check in 1998โ and my brother laughed out loud in this womanโs face. He recovered by saying they were talking about something else over the head set, but Iโd imagine the woman knew he was lying.
Serving the Monday morning line of people queueing for their coffee at a well known coffee chain, Iโm feeling super cheerful and like to be a nice friendly face to make everyoneโs mornings a little better.
A lady approaches with a huge bunch of flowers and I put my best act on and say โohhh, are those for me?! You really shouldnโt have! :Dโ.
She looks at me stone cold and replies โIโm going to a funeral actually.โ
My stomach drops to the floor and I feel like such an idiot, I canโt apologise enough and then have to painfully take her coffee order. Ugh.
late to the party, but i once worked at walmart. one night, a lady comes through my lane with a few items and swipes her card. the register tells me she got $100 cash back, so i hand it to her saying โhereโs your cash back,โ as i usually did for a variety of reasons (mostly CYA). she looks at me and says she didnโt ask for cash back, and i tell her the register says she did. i insist she takes it since its already off her card and she tells me its a company card. i tell her her best option is to take it back to her boss and tell them she accidentally pressed cash back ($100 was right next to No, may have changed by now) but she says theyโd think she did it on purpose and starts accusing me of doing cash back just to incriminate her, which is impossible unless i reached over and pressed it on her screen. sheโs getting louder and louder and i blurt out โis there a reason you think theyโd be suspicious of you?โ was getting sick of her shit but i meant it to get her to rethink things, but maybe i said it with just a little too much smartass in my voice.
after shit hit the fan, i ragequit and walked out. forunately, my manager at that time was understanding and called me in the next day to offer my my job back, which i accepted. she assured me part of the blame was on the manager on duty that night for not responding to my calls, which i had placed several as the situation escalated. i was also instructed to watch what i say to customers, and i agreed, especially because iโm pretty sure part of me meant it as it sounded, otherwise i could have worded it better. but nowadays iโd say it all over again. i canโt be fucked to pussyfoot around asshole customers. i work security now so i can kinda get away with it if iโm crafty enough.
Basically, if you buy a lot at one specific time you are considered a "whale". I decided to explain this to a clearly overweight woman who was buying a lot from my store. In fact, i told her "You are what we would consider a whale". She became very uncomfortable and I immediately realized I said it without thinking first.
I don't believe she ever came back to the store. I have issues with speaking before thinking. I felt like an asshole.
I did not reply to my customer's message for sometime which pissed him off.
I shouldn't have done that.
BlankZF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer come in the other day who worked at a Lazaderm clinic. Trying to make conversation, I asked her about her job, and feigned interest by asking follow up questions.
The conversation progressed and she said she specifically worked in the "injectables" department. She told me how she does Botox injections on clients. Without hesitation or social filter I (male) asked her "Are those your lips or are those Botox lips?"
She was immediately humiliated. Said they were her own, and the conversation instantly died from just being extremely awkward.
One time a customer said "you look familiar" and I shouldn't have said "I actually star in adult film". Good thing none of my coworkers/mangers heard. The customer didn't think it was funny even though I explained that I was kidding. I just checked them out in silence until I said "thanks, have a nice day"
Late to the party here, but I worked at a take and bake pizza place and when making the pizza, there's usually about 3 minutes of pizza construction that can either be filled with silence towards the customer or a light, generic conversation. With the latter, most people would mention something they liked or didn't like about the pizza and, not being one to be tied down by speaking politely or professionally at this job, my natural response is to say something along the lines of "Yeah, I feel ya there" and go along with them and pass the pizza on.
One particularly talkative guy came in on a day where I was the only one making the pizzas and ordered a vegetarian pizza, where he went on to explain that he would have to get this pizza and then head down to McDonald's and pick up more food. He then explained that this was because his kids weren't fans of vegetarian pizza. I related immediately, not liking vegetarian pizza myself, and responded with "Ah, yeah man, I feel your kids -sharp inhale-".
Not only did he not continue any more conversation, he neither thanked me nor said goodbye during the longest two minutes I've ever experienced. He just took his pizza and left. My only solace is that his kids weren't there, he might not have even taken the pizza then.
Nossie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer complaining about something stupid that they should use common sense about, me not backing down ... After me being very polite and professional
Customer: So you are not going to do it for me then?
Me: I appreciate you are frustrated, however we are going round in circles now....
Customer: well, fuck you. (Thought customer had hung up)
Me: well, fuck you too then..... <Click>
Yeah I expected that to come back on me hard - lay low for 6 months (I had only just started)
5-6 years later I tell the story to my manager - who I coincidentally had when I first started...
Him totally buckled with laghter: "Nossie, you fucking twat... I might not have sacked you for that....
It was a very big international telecom. I can only assume the customer didn't have the phone to their ear at that point.
Pro life tip - when you are on hold to another department, your call is usually still recorded.
Can make some interesting transcripts when a customer puts in an FOIA request
Sizer11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy of mine used to work at McDonald's. One of the enormous regulars lumbered up to the counter and ordered "Big Smoke" style (several combos all upsized). When my mate asked what drink, she snapped impatiently back with "Coke and make it quick"
Buddy muttered under his breath as he turned around to do it "let's make that a diet coke" unfortunately for him this lady had above average hearing and threw a shit-fit.
And that was the last time my buddy worked at McDonald's.
i work at Jamba Juice & i was in a rush w/ only one other team member. The phone kept ringing because we take phone orders & i did not answer because i had customers in the store. when we cleared the rush, this rude old lady comes in & i say โhello, how are you today?โ she replies with โiโd be better if you guys answer the phone.โ she ordered & my team member made her drink rant away but she continues to rant about how other Jamba Juices answer the phone right away so i replied w/ โwhy donโt you go there then?โ she then asked for my name & thatโs when i knew i messed up lmao
2 weeks ago. Greeted a table but didn't look at their faces, only saw painted nails grasping menus on both sides. Started with a "Hi ladies I'm elgoldsoul..." only to look up and see that the person on the right was a man. Felt so bad initially. He said he was used to it, but while smiling, so I couldn't tell whether he appreciated it or not lol.
D34NY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a drug store and we have a card where you can gather points and get coupons. So we always ask the customer if they have a card before we start the transaction and usually they just put in a phone number and we can pull up the card.
A woman came in a few weeks ago and I asked if she had a card with us and told us that she did, so I put in the number she gave me and nothing came up. She said โoh it must be my old number. I had to change it because of my stalker ex boyfriend.โ To which I replied with, โoh why donโt you ask him what the number is?โ I totally meant it as a joke but she didnโt think it was funny. She kinda just awkward laughed and left. I spent the rest of my shift cringing at myself.
I told a guy the truth. Classic car parts business. He seemed to want to be assured that most customers are willing to pay for quality. I told him customers will buy the cheapest crap version of whatever you are selling even if the same but much higher quality part is only a few bucks more. He seemed a bit gutted by that. Usually I lean a lot more toward reading the customer and telling them what they want to hear. Not that day. That guy got the truth.
Used to work at Crispers back in high school, some woman comes in arguing with her husband/bf and can't decide what they want to get, I try helping her with some suggestions, she can't make up her mind for a good 5 minutes or so, I ask if she's having food relationship problems. Pretty sure she walked out and I think "Hm maybe that was a thing to say". It didn't help that she was overweight too.
Ah, Crispers. Had some fun times working there. Jack Johnson was playing on the radio once and I didn't know who it was, just sounded like beach music to me. When I asked who it was, he said "Girls spread their legs for that shit", and casually went back to work. As a only recently not-virgin at the time, I added Jack Johnson to my mp3 player next time I went to see my squeeze.
Also, I was broke af and could have seen Dream Theater for ~$40 near where I lived, but I didn't have $40 to spend on . . . well anything but gas really. Some guy buying a sandwich balked when I said I thought it was expensive. Ofc it was expensive, I was working for $7.25/hour. Ofc it's slightly easier for me to shell that out now since I have a better shitty job.
I also had people think we made all the soup in house. It was shipped in big bags that we reheated. Still tastes great though. That helped me understand how big companies work.
Used to work in a music/guitar shop when I was in high school. Lady came in said her husband needed a guitar string. Turned out to be the G. I, like an idiot, said "oh, he broke his g-string eh?". It was funnier in my mind.
instead of saying "thanks mate" i said "thanks dad"
fuck i'm too late aren't i
Dbiked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Be me, 17 year old weirdo.
Living in Utah, conservative area.
Working in Spencer's gifts
Have "adult" area,
with lots of phallic devices for women.
Talking to a female customer who is uncomfortable with the idea of going into said area.
Say to her "I'm sure if you go in there for a minute you'll loosen up"
Didn't realize what I had said until my boss pointed it out to me while laughing her ass off.
I might be autistic.
I was super hungover 4 New Years ago and I was at the mall when this girl yelled "I want attention!"
I should have definitely yelled "Me, too!"
But hangover = stoopid brain
Nox_Dei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I work for a school.
One day a student comes to me, talking about going to a forbidden part of the building (which is guarded by a dog) and I accidentally told him to play music to put doggo to sleep.
I had been helping a lady pick up a couple of products fairly quickly. We didn't chat much. While at the register, I noticed a small bump in her loose and flowy sweater.
Me: Aww, how far along are you? Customer: Cold dead stare.
Me: Okay... Do you want your receipt?
I wanted the earth to swallow me. NEVER assume people are pregnant no matter how much it looks like a pregnant belly until they tell you they're pregnant themselves.
I was working as a cashier at a gas station convenience store, and I was dating my coworker. (We are now married) she worked the morning shift and I the evening.
During my then girlfriend's shift, a man came in and asked for an application. We had recently started only accepting online applications, and the customer was informed that we did not have paper applications and that she should apply online. Small incident, didn't even come up during shift change that day.
During my shift, at around 4pm, a woman came in and started yelling at me about how her husband was discriminated against by not being given an application, and "that bitch" from the morning shift should be fired. Every time it seemed like she had finished, I tried to start to explain that we don't do paper applications anymore, or that I would talk to my manager, I could only get a couple words in before she would go off again.
After she had called my then girlfriend a bitch to my face a few times and cut me off I finally lost it and I told her "That bitch is my coworker and my girlfriend and you will not speak about her that way. You had better-" at which point she started yelling and I pointed at the door and started yelling (I don't really remember what was said exactly) and she stormed out the door.
I thought it was over but then I saw her outside yelling at my gas attendant, so I followed her out and told her I would call the police if she didn't leave. She left after that. But she did call corporate and complained and they found out we were dating, so we had to never have overlapping shifts after that and got written up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell computers. I sold one to a lady without WiFi because she never asked about it, never mentioned it once. She flipped a shit and called me a ton of names.
I had already given her a $350 discount and a screen, keyboard, AND mouse for free, and offered to buy her a WiFi dongle off Amazon (they're like $10).
I got fed up with her shit, so I said "It's not my fault your husband left you, but now I can see why."
Suffice to say she was not happy.
I ended up calling the police because she harassed me for days afterwards, spamming social media profiles, called me from at least 10 different numbers, and in the end I got the PC back and she went to jail, but damn, the headache was not worth it.
Bit of backstory. It was during a day the freezers were working overtime making the ice-cream rock solid. So trying to scoop it was like chiseling granite with a toothpick. I sold an ice cream to a young kid but I couldn't push it down into the cone without shattering the cone and as always they never want a cup because it has to be a cone. So the kid goes off and a little while later a fat woman approaches me cone and ice cream in hand and says the ice-cream fell out gives it to me and says she wants a new one.
Little annoyed but ok so I go to get her a new ice-cream and in a smug tone she calls out "and this time push it into the cone". I turn and say "There's no need to be rude but the ice-cream is hard as a rock and won't go into the cone without breaking it". I probably shouldn't've begun with "no need to be rude" because this set her off "How rude don't talk to me like that!". Again I probably should not have engaged "I'm not being rude for saying that you were being rude".
Needless to say, I received a complaint, the boss (who is awesome) just told me not to say that to a customer and informed me that if a customers ice-cream falls out I can give them one free. His stepson who also works there told me I should have kissed ass because they were a customer (don't know what happened to him because he use to be a chill bro)
I used to work customer service for a fruit flavored tech company. Lady walked up wagging her phone at me, the word โiPhone is disabled.โ On the screen. She says โIโm disabled...โ to which I replied, โIโm sorry to hear that, whatโs wrong with your phone?โ
She must have been in a great mood because she laughed.
Jachown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It not what I said, but my ringtone years ago was "weak and powerless" by A Perfect Circle. Yeah not the song you want to playing while your helping a patient do physical therapy. Nearly broke my phone trying to silence it...๐คฆโโ๏ธ
ckaz09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago working in a bank, Friday, teller live busy as fuck because of course it is.
Patience by the end of the day, gone.
Enters incompetent, lazy regular who refuses to have any other teller wait on them.
Not really wanting to be there anymore and just want to go home. Customer taking his sweet ass time signing his withdrawal slip, and I can't tell him to step out of line and rejoin the queue when he's prepared.
Impataiently hoping he'd hurry up and not really paying attention, he starts complaining about his business that he can't manage the funds for and is constantly bouncing checks.
Customer - "I have an AR, maybe I should just blow my brains out"
Me - "Sounds like a great solution to me"
Customer - "...."
Me - "How do you want you cash?"
Note: customer did not suicide and is still driving the staff nutty, I left a few months later
I had a very โdo you know who I am?โ customer once.....this never goes well with me and I lost it. My response โI donโt care, you join the line like the rest of everyoneโ
School trip like ten years ago some kid telling our group how a kid he knew hanged himself on a basketball hoop. Without missing a beat I blurt out "nothing but net" and gave a quick chuckle. No thought whatsoever.
Waiting on a table of four sisters, in a beach town. They were all very friendly. Three of them talking about recently having kids. I asked the 4th when she was going to have kids too (no idea why I said that) she bursts into tears and tells me she just had a miscarriage. Come to find out they all flew in from different parts of the country to console her and have a sisters weekend. I felt like the biggest ass ever.
I was a croupier in a blackjack tournament in an Australian casino. As you moved the first bet marker around the tablet to each player in turn you had to check they had finished checking on the size of the bet. I was saying to each player in turn whilst pointing to each of their bets in turn "You're in". This I realised was the same as pointing at their bets and saying "Urine". It was fine as a joke inside my head until I realised the punters were taking it the same way and looking positively pissed off. I kept going for the full hour. Urine, urine, urine, urine urine. We all knew
So I routinely ask customers "How are you doing?" Because it's required by my job. One night I was actually in a very good mood so I asked this one lady how she was In a pretty cheerful tone. She replied"not too well, I just want the day to end", and my stupid self replied with "At least you aren't dead" (which usually got some laughs from other customers. She looks me straight in the face and says "My mom just died" . There was major awkward silence. And then a week or two later the same lady came up and I complimented her cute dolphin necklace and she goes "thank you. It has my son's ashes". Now I pretty much keep my mouth shut around customers except for what I'm required to say.
dbt29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came in to look at a pair of shoes. I walked up to his left side and asked if he needed a hand. He turned to face me and to my dismay I see that he doesn't have his right hand. He didn't acknowledge my shocked facial expression as I realised what I had just said, but wow that was an awkward one
super late to this and also wasnt my comment to a customer but my cousins.
she was working at a pizza place when she received a call for a pizza to be picked up. the lady asking for the pizza put her order in, picked it up, and got all the way home when she decided it was โtoo hotโ so she calls back and my cousin answers the phone, lady is complaining about the hotness of said pizza and my cousin is like โwell is it too hot like the temperature or too hot like spiciness?โ lady got super aggravated by that question and just went in on my cousin, so without thinking my cousin just says โlady there is a pizza place across the street, maybe you shouldโve called themโ so yeah, obviously the lady went mental but when my cousin told me the story she was just like โi was being honest, how was that a wrong thing to say???โ
Not me but a coworker; we work inbound customer service for a cleaning/kitchen company. He was trying to explain to his customer that we held up our end of the warranty by setting up an order for just shipping, but it wonโt leave the warehouse until the defective product is shipped back (using a prepaid label that we provide) and she was refusing to send in the product. Saying it wasnโt her problem and she shouldnโt have to deal with it. He very calmly says โwell maโam if you donโt ship us your defective product we wonโt send you a new one, then it becomes your problem doesnโt it?โ
Yeaaars ago, I was setting up and order for warranty in which the charge is $1 (plus tax). I give the customer his total and he gets irate that he has to pay $1.09 for a brand new product (even though his was technically out of warranty and I was doing it as a gesture) I then explain to him that heโll need to print off a prepaid label and drop the unit off at fedex. He starts screaming and cussing me out โoh so not only do I have to give you crooks $1.09 of MY money but I also have to use MY ink and MY gas for a label and drop off!!??โ I say โsir of course you donโt have to. Because you are out of warranty I can also just replace your machine with a new one for $53+sh. Does that work better for you since the $1.09 is too much and youโre too entitled to print a label and drop it off?โ ... he took the $1.09 option.
Edit to add
Just a few weeks ago, I had a customer call me stupid because they didnโt get that when youโre 3 years out of warranty we donโt cover the cost of replacement parts (it wasnโt even broken). When she said โgod are you stupid?!โ I said โwell, Iโm getting paid to tell you how to fix your blender, and you think itโs broken because the lid is on backwards.. soooooo...โ luckily I caught myself before I finished the sentence lolol
Lol just realize that you mentioned when you said you'll retire, my wife and I will definitely be retiring before that age with a solo-401(k) as well as our rental property and any other investments we make in the future. Her parents are the ones that introduced us to it and own a few whilst also working for now and they will both be retiring at around 50 and 55 respectively, and they both go back to South America (where they are from) for around 1 month a year as well as smaller vacations over a weekend or etc a few times a year. They're very frugal and smart about their money and it's cheap to live where they go vacation every year because the standard of living is lower there, but it's largely their intelligent investments that allow them to do that as well as will retire at right around the same age as you plan to. Had they started investing at the age of me or my wife, they would likely already be retired. So again, that's all well and good for you, no need to be insulting because you don't have any substantive response to what I said about investing, but again it really sounds like you've made some poor investment choices if that's your plan, and it doesn't make me lazy for achieving or more with less work. That's really good you're planning and you'll retire, really not being facetious, but I'd rather retire with all the equity $ in a dozen or so rental homes, as well my full retirement benefits, and still take vacations as my wife's parents do/will retire soon... that's why I think it's a bad investment strategy just to work a little tiny bit more as opposed to going back to school or making intelligent investments to retire much earlier with more time/money for vacations and etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was coming around the corner and had been having a conversation with a co-worker, I said loudly โyeah, Iโm sure glad Iโm not a parapalegic!โ And there was a man in a wheel chair right there, he looked at me kinda sadly and said, โitโs paraplegic.โ
Thyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A combination of what I said and did. I have one client that is particularly frustrating and when I get frustrated I tend to drum my fingers.
I was on the phone to them one day listening to them tell me how our software works and how I should be dealing with the particular issue they had (which was all totally incorrect) and I start drumming my fingers on my laptop. The chap I am speaking to stops talking and says "Are you drumming your fingers? Am I annoying you?" and my only fall back is to say in a slightly sarcastic way "No, what ever would make you think that?"
The result of this was that particular person not speaking to me for a week and other people calling me instead. They still frustrate the fuck out of me and that won't change but I not drum my fingers on solid surfaces anymore...!
As a customer.
I went for a speed dating event at a cafรฉ. Duty call, asked the waitress for the toilet. She kindly pointed the direction, and said "Enjoy" =).
I didn't realized how weird was that until I started taking off my pants.
I was in a really bad mood working one day. And I couldnโt help a customer on an issue they had. Instead of apologizing and explaining the situation, I gave them one of the most passive aggressive responses. I just sorta shrugged, and made a clicking sound with my tongue. Just one of those things you do when youโre basically saying โoh well thenโ Customer didnโt look angry as much as she looked kinda hurt by my reaction. I kinda stood there and then cleared my throat and tried my best to fix what I did, and to give them some kind of help, but the whole thing was awkward as hell after that.
Chaz042 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
From the customer side, a guy was trying to push a $65/user/month 2yr term management utility for my team of three people. The guy screws up after I mentioned a competing product and basically told me how they have a free tier now. Sure enough, after the call I pulled up the competing software and they offer three users for free for life on prem.... If you must know, they didn't get the sale.
MaxxiBr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a gas station, customer pays and I think he's about to leave and then says "Oh I have something for you!" I was getting all excited because it really sounded like a tip or maybe some chocolate or something. He then hands me a little booklet and I ask him what it is (big mistake) so he starts talking about this church group and what they stand for and what they do, checking behind him if there's someone else in line but there wasn't so he just kept talking.
I knew I had to do something or else I'd be trapped in this "conversation" for ages.
So I hand him the booklet back and say "I'm a gay Satanist, I don't need this" The look on his face was priceless, a mix of confusion, anger. But I was honestly shocked that I just actually said that while he stormed off.
my customer was escalating me because we were delayed with a router installation on one of their sites.
we were trying to hide it for months last year, that during first installation the field technician took their own router away with himself to his Mothercompany's warehouse and they fucking sold it to someone else !
one of our calls was about this and I accidentally said that my idiot colleague took it away and now they cannot find it. It was not that sort of rude against customer but I should not say things like this about my own colleague, even if it's very true..
Talidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a bookshop at the time. There was a kid about 7-8 years old playing up in front of the till. Nothing to bad just the usual being loud and touching the till tat, he obviously isn't interested in being in the shop.
A woman walked over from another part of the store with a few books to buy. She looked at the kid, then looked at me and pointedly rolled her eyes.
Now the kid wasn't bothering me, but we'd recently been told to engage more with customers. So I sort of shrugged and said "yeah, but what can you do" like it was bothering me, but not enough to do anything.
She turned slapped the kid across the back of the head, and went full batshit mum mode on the poor kid. "I can't believe you've done this, embarrassing me in front of the nice man!" Was the bit that stuck out.
After a few minutes she turned back to buy the books, while I'd probably gone white as a sheet. No longer interested in building rapport I just scanned them ASAP. Not one was kid friendly, it wasn't a shock the kid wasn't interested in being there. She'd obviously not been bothered to try and get him interested.
That added "don't say anything about a minorly disruptive kid" to my list of things not to say to women. It's right below "when is the baby due".
I worked at Subway for a few months and literally told a customer Iโd โrather be naked on a beachโ when asked how my day was. My coworker looked at me slack-jawed and simply said โdude, you canโt talk like that...โ
We were getting ready to close and he started insisting that I should give him bowling (bowling/arcade) I explained that I canโt cos I donโt even have a till and because I was locked out of the system (it shuts everyone out once the tills are gone) he then insisted that he should get it free and tried starting an argument. I get security to deal with him and he started arguing โthe customers always rightโ and I just replied back โyeah except when theyโre wrongโ and started laughing. I couldโve got in so much trouble but thankfully my manager found it as funny as I did and we both agreed that it was too late at night to deal with assholes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always late to the questions I have an answer to.
One time I was working a checkout in a pound shop and dealing with a really rude customer, throwing his money down, really poor body language and moaning at the prices (in a pound shop). Anyway, I was super tired that day and wasn't sleeping well at the time, so when I went to say thank you as he walked away it came out "fuck you." It was very audible.
Luckily enough, he didn't hear me but the girl behind him did. As I frantically tried to defend myself she laughed and said "don't worry, I understand the pain"
Working retail a few years ago, this prim and proper looking middle aged woman comes in to collect the order she placed online. I go out back to get it and there's a lot of stuff in the bag, she looks surprised and said "WOW! That is a lot bigger than I expected" without thinking I replied "That's what she said". My coworker burst out laughing. Customer wasn't pleased.
I was working the cash register at this restaurant on Halloween night and this older gentleman comes in.
Heโs skimming the menu and doesnโt really know what to order so he asks me what my top favorite item on the menu is and my brain being on autopilot, I say โI really like the water here,โ and immediately cringe at myself cause customers donโt usually take jokes well but then he asks me for my second favorite and I say โThe ice here is just spectacular if you ask me...โ
He actually laughed and said โWell, youโre a brat arenโt youโ in a very joking manner. What a cool guy.
Not a costumer per se, but I'm not good with secrets, like the one time I told a this boy and his friends shit about Nicholas Flamel and how to get past a three headed dog. Should not have said that!
Sooo I work in retail at a small local store, and as mos people in retail know, you can be a dick all you want but you'll be laughed at the moment you're gone.
Well, small problem, this particular customer apparently wasn't done with her rant, and came back for a second round. With us laughing at her.
I used to work as a receptionist, bar tender and waitress in a hotel. I was on a 0 hour contract so I had to take the shifts when they came, which meant sometimes working until gone 10pm, then getting to work for 7am to do the breakfast shift.
One week my hours were particularly awful, so I was exhausted. We had one customer who had stayed before and was known to be incredibly rude - shouting at staff and complaining about absolutely everything.
Over a few days, I had to deal with him on multiple occasions as he complained about the food, the room, the service - everything . The last day of his stay, I checked him out, and he spent at least 5 minutes just yelling at me about everything that had gone wrong. I managed to keep my cool and remain civil. His closing remark, as he walked away, was: โI will NEVER stay here againโ. Without thinking, I said: โwell thatโs just fine with meโ. He heard, turned back around and picked right back up where heโd finished shouting about how awful the hotel and itโs staff were, and of course demanding to see my manager.
I used to work in the produce department of a grocery store. Since I was secluded to a corner I never really ventured to the outer portions of the store. One day I had gotten called to an aisle to help a customer search for pita bread. We walked up and down the aisle but couldn't find it anywhere, but eventually we had stumbled upon it in a very obvious spot. It was an awkward amount of time to find it and I noticed they were getting frustrated so I jokingly said "I guess we should both get our eyes checked out". I had never really took the time to look at the customers features but I suddenly noticed her very noticeable lazy eye. She had shrugged and said "I guess" with kind of a put down tone. I had never felt so bad after helping a customer.
I was 16, needed the money and took a shitty in black 12hr work for minimal wage writing classified ads in a newspaper, i was always tired, since i was the youngest and only employee that hadnt been there for over a decade angry customers always assumed the ad they placed and came out wrong had gone through me, one day some 40+ yo woman starts going nuts on me and i answer screaming, "suck my c**k" and slammed the window on her.
A lady that worked there and was like the office's grandma saw it all and decided to help me, i still dont know how she defused that bitch but she did.
I was working in a call centre when I had a caller who wanted a fabric sample so she could decide if she wanted to buy from us or a competitor. the competitor had a sale on and we couldn't get her the sample before the sale ended. I said that she might be better off taking advantage of the sale....she wanted to talk to my manager for saying that.
I've been working in customer service for years and I always stay polite no matter how hard they whine but once in a while I have a customer that just knows how to push my buttons. Once I was helping such a customer; he was whining and wanted something that just wasn't possible. So in a moment of despair I said: "Sir, I've give you all your options and you've shut them all down, for God's sake what more do you want from me". He got really quiet and then said in a sad voice: "I don't like that you are using the Lord's name in vain" and hung up. Although I'm not religious myself, I like to act respuctful to people who are relegious and I felt really bad about it.
You think I wouldโve learned the first time, but I hate the human race so...
I was a server for a couple years, and my disdain for people who donโt read the fucking menu was off the charts.
Any time, and I mean ANY time a customer would ask, โWhatโs on the Hawaiian Burger?!โ, or, โWhatโs in your Cobb Salad?!โ My only response would be, โOh itโs right there in the menu.โ Iโd then stand there and wait for them to read it.
I shit you not, 9/10 times they already knew what was in the fucking food.
Okay so I made a throwaway for this because I'm still embarrassed. I am I white, which will become important.
Okay so I had a boogie in my nose that needed extracted badly. So I went over to the little cabinet thing and got a paper towel so I could get this dude out of my nose. While I had my head down towards the floor and once my fingers were about knuckle deep, I heard someone say "Getcho fingers out ya nose!" Kind of playfully and somewhat recognizably. I assumed it was one of my buddies that came to visit me at work. As I'm turning my head to look at whomever was talking to me, I said "I'm just trying to get the out, boy." Unfortunately for me, it wasn't a friend of mine, it was a black man, that understandably got upset at me calling him boy.
In my moment of "what the fuck did I just say," I panicked and rather than apologising I just look at him with the face of regret and said "I'll get my manager to help you"
ELpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How can I help you?
"I'd like to pay my bill."
"Bill pay?"
"Yes sir."
I asked a totally benign question, but at the wrong time. Selling a lady a bra and just trying to make conversation while we process the payment. I ask "any plans for the weekend?"
"no, unfortunately"
"oh well, a nice weekend at home then"
She sighs heavily "I'm meant to be in Bali this weekend for my wedding. My fiance and family are over there. My doctor told me I wasn't allowed to fly, so I'm home by myself this weekend"
I made commiserating statements, but I'm pretty sure I said nothing of substance after that!
What do you say to that?!
Ugh, I felt so bad for her!
cheet09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for Sling (the over the internet TV company.) We had recently changed policies to where we didn't give refunds anymore unless it was like fraud or serious because if you just forgot to cancel the free trial, it's kinda your fault.
Anyway, this dude calls up with his bank on the phone. I explain in the T&C's it clearly explains that if you forget to cancel we won't give your money back. He proceeds to tell me it was broken and wouldn't work, this is like month 3 with no prior calls. I told him we would've been happy to help him fix it but we didn't know it was broken so we can't fix something that we don't know is broken, but I still can't give a refund.
He then proceeds to ask rant and it goes roughly as follows:
Customer: Do you like watches?
Me: I guess.
C: No, do you like watches??
M: Sure.
C: If you went into a watch store, and bought a broken watch, wouldn't you expect your money back???
M: I wouldn't buy a broken watch.
C: ......Don't be a smart ass and answer the question! If you bought a broken watch wouldn't you want a refund?!?
M: I still wouldn't buy a broken watch.
Bank Guy: Mr. Customer, you still there?
Dude had one arm, was buying a carton of beer and I asked him if he wanted a hand. Wanted to melt into the floor.
Brallon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working night shifts at a hotel. We have a strong policy against guest bringing company up to the room, after 11 in the evening (That is, company that is unannounced earlier on the day) - this is for two main reasons:
- fire safety, we need to know who is in every room, at every time.
- prostitution, we don't want people to bring prostitutes to our rooms.
Well, when a guy drunk as hell want to bring a girl, half his age up, gets angry when you stop them... giving them reason 1 is quite easy. But people tend to not get too happy when you call their wives prostitutes -
...we received wedding photographs and some very angry emails two days later
Not a customer but a patient, im a doctor and was on call one night and got called to see a patient desaturating (low oxygen in the blood so short of breath ) his wife was present and when i arrived she was really stressed and told me '' do something i don't want him to die '' and i jokingly answered '' me neither, too much paperwork '' which made the patient laugh and cough and desaturate even more while his wife was standing there staring at me with hate in her eyes!
Ps:the patient was fine in the end and I had seen him before and knew that it was his kind of humor, I wouldn't have done this joke with any random patient
kulayeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a call center and the customer was angry over something irrelevant and said something in the line of "why don't you fuck off"
I replied "at your service" and ended the call right there and cut him off. This is a huge insult in our culture and when my supervisor came to talk to me about it (he listened to the call because customer called and complained) I just said "I did as he asked"
I worked in a retail phone store and a women came into return a phone with made up reasons (long story) I told her she was wrong and she wasnโt miss-sold.
She said โare you calling me a liarโ and for some reason Drake and Josh came to mind and I said โwell I ainโt calling you a trutherโ.
She didnโt quite understand that and my boss quickly intervened.
I did a brief stint in a coffee shop at a service station, so people would come in after or part way through a long drive to get a coffee.
I was working 4-11 that day and my shift was almost over.
A man walks up and asks for a cup of tea. Now at this point I was very new and hadn't been trained on the coffee machines yet. But anyone can make a cup of tea, so I was entrusted with that task.
The process of making a cup of tea here is just putting the tea bag in the cup, boiling the water and filling the cup, and then giving it to the customer to add their own milk/sugar.
So I boiled the kettle, placed a tea bag in the cup, poured some boiling water, and gave it to him.
Little did I know that there was actually a small amount of limescale that had floated to the top of the cup. Perhaps the kettle was due for a clean.
The man saw this and promptly asked "what's this floating in my tea? And without pausing to assess the situation, I replied "that's a tea bag."
Needless to say he didn't find it funny. I made him a fresh cup and that was the end of it.
hulugod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a server so I quite often find myself in situations that require me to talk to people i usually wouldnโt interact with.
I remember one time I was talking to a husband, his wife and their kid. I asked them what they did for work. The husband said he worked in the oil field. I then looked to the wife, as she was silent and for some God-forsaken reason I asked..
โAnd you? Do you just stay at hom-.โ
I froze mid sentence as the familyโs smile flipped. I quickly changed the subject and started talking about my mom. Iโm still surprised they tipped me over 20%.
Used to work in a holiday camp managing their premium restaurant.
Had a group or 10 or so arrive are ask for a table. Now, this was on a Sunday morning of a party weekend (adults only) so everyone was hungover, dark shades on & popping paracetamols. So, he asked for a table with a very raspy deep voice that kept breaking so just to make a little conversation I asked if heโd had a long night? He gave me black stare & said โNo?, whyโd you ask?โ Now this is when I knew Iโd fucked it huge. He looked genuinely perplexed & I had 10 slightly uncomfortable faces. I had a little turtle head poking out now & knew I was not able to dig myself out of whatever hole I was about to find myself in so approached naively & said โso how did you lose your voice?โ. He wasnโt a small bloke, that alpha male character of every big English Family who can open Walnuts with his hand & was probably friends with the Kray Twins. He very softly just said โlost it 10 years ago mate, throat cancerโ. The uncomfortable faces turned to disappointment, mine went red & my turtle showed itโs head. I actively avoided that section all afternoon & wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
jas0485 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said, "Thank you, sir," to a middle aged woman. I worked at one of the Santa stops at Disney World during my college program and it was the end of the night and I was on auto-pilot, obviously. She was pissed and I don't blame her; i should have been more focused. I apologized profusely but i always felt bad about it.
A costumer complained that none of his lottery tickets paid off. I told him to stop buying them then. He got a flip and had to be carried out by my manager
Older, shorter, and slightly heavier lady was mad a certain Target brand of bras (the size she wanted was Double D) did not fit her. We were out in the other brands and this pink tag brand did but their sizing is jank and meant for girls with less curves (or none at all) to be honest. Probably should have said that instead of "For younger girls" because she tried to snap back with "Oh so I'm old now?"
She was already having a fit over bras and was for some reason unwilling to accept we were out of that size at the time. I made suggestions to try larger stocked Targets, even try department stores since they have more brands. Nope.
I just told her I'm sorry it came off that way and if she wanted me to check other stores I'll be in some nearby locations. She tried to get the last word in but once I walked away from a customer I shut their voice out and get back to whatever thing I was trying to do beforehand.
Nesx13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a Lifeguard in Germany... and in Germany you canโt just walk up to strangers and say โyouโ (German: Du) that would be like calling some strangers by their first name in America when you first met them. Anyway there was this really rude, small guy, probably 1,60m tall and he approached me with a stupid complaint in a rude way and instantly said โduโ to me. Already pissed by his approach I responded: โare we friends or why are you saying โduโ to me?โ To which he said that it was fine because from the looks I am 20 at best. I gave him a really disrespecting look and said he has the height of a 12 year old and I am still treating him as an adult.
I immediately thought โaight good bye workโ luckily he never complained. He went complete apeshit and left.
I used to work full-time for a higher end supermarket in the UK, and this happened a couple of days before Christmas 2016. Christmas is always a super busy period for us, like any supermarket in the UK. I work behind the food service counters at said supermarket and this day was especially busy as weโre open slightly earlier and close slightly later than normal trading hours.
Working at an upmarket supermarket includes working with particularly difficult, snooty customers but unfortunately thatโs part of the job. One man in particular would come in daily (oddly enough when there was only one of us between the two counters) and spend a good 20 minutes browsing both the meat and fish counters, deliberately asking for irregular cuts of meat and leaving us with tiny cuts we then couldnโt sell, or heโd ask for 8 fish and ask they all be gutted or filleted deliberately berating and criticising our technique as we were doing so making sure that everyone waiting in the ever growing line could hear him. Heโs also the kind of person to haggle despite store policy being that prices as marked, are final. Just to add insult to injury heโd then usually discard the items on dry goods shelves so theyโd get warm and weโd not be able to use them again, seemingly as some sick sport to him. We complained to management about him, but as is the way in retail - theyโd rather not have the hassle of having an angry customer, even though we had that most days.
On this particular day we extremely busy what with customer orders being picked up for Christmas, those whoโd left food shopping way too late and those looking for bargains. No matter how fast we work, the line seemingly never shortened. After being on the couch for around 4 hours constantly serving without so much as a water break, I look up and who do I see? Of course itโs our buddy, Mr FuckFace. I ask him if I can help, and he looks up at me with piercing eyes and an evil smirk and begins to peruse the counter as he usually does. He goes on a rather offensive rant about how the reason the line is so long is because they hire โinexperiencedโ worker such as myself and that if I couldnโt work in retail which was the โlowest of the lowโ then there wasnโt a place in this world for me. Without realising I muttered under my breath โfor fuckโs sake, would you just fuck offโ however, I hadnโt muttered it. Iโd In fact said it quite loudly as it so happens. I then held what must have been the longest awkward silence of my entire life, and it ended with me walking off to serve another customer. My colleague went to serve him in my place, and for whatever reason the best I could muster up at that point was โNo, donโt serve the mean meat-manโ. Iโve never regretted using a phrase more in my life.
This lady called our pizzeria several times a week in the late mornings with the same delivery order that she put on the same debit card. I have this thing with numbers, and it was early and I wasn't awake yet and she was terribly slow when reciting her numbers, and one morning I said the last four of her card in unison with her, matter-of-factly. I heard an angry, "What?" and immediately cringed and called for the manager. I have no idea what he said but that lady paid cash from then on.
Was 18, waiting breakfast tables at a posh hotel restaurant. We have a huge selection of tea but only offer tea for tea time (2 to 4 for you heathens). For this one couples' drinks I offered oj, water, or coffee, or a selection of tea. Big mistake. Everyone in the room heard that and when I went to the other tables everyone had made a tea selection. I had to do 2x the work because I was in tea serving mode. Oh yeah breakfast is complementary so tips are based on good service not things they order.
Tldr: people heard me say we offered tea when we normally didn't. Had to work more for same money
I was a receptionist at a local clinic. A young woman comes in and tells that she has been assaulted by her boyfriend. I ask if she was allright. She just looks at me and snorts (the disgusted kind) "What do you think?". Was not the proudest moment of my life, but she got help in the end.
Worked at a skate shop and we began to sell scooters. We were really bitter about selling scooters cause skater kids and scooter kids don't get along.
A guy comes in and comments on a brand of scooters we just stocked. I said something like "yeah I don't even know why we are selling these things. We're meant to be a skate shop."
Guy was the owner of the company.
I was the manager of the store.
Fuck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story. I worked at a gun store and the gunsmith made a comment about some high end bicycles (I donโt remember the brand). He said something about how they used to the good quality but had gone to shit and werenโt worth the money. The customer he said it too was the owner of a local bike dealer and was the exclusive dealer for that brand in our area.
Of course the guy got pissed and went storming out. OUR owner was there but he didnโt say anything for some reason.
I had a friend who had a really bad day, she was working at a pizza place and a guy got there a bit early, and he was like โthe app told me to come early so i didโ and she was like โwell itโs still in the oven so i guess youโre just going to have toWAIT โ in a super sarcastic tone and then did the biggest eye roll she could, then she told the manager and she got fired.
TLDR; donโt be rude or youโll get fired
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was putting carts away at the grocery store I worked at and some woman walked up to me and grabbed my hair (!!!) because she didn't like that I had purple hair. I stepped out of her reach and said "DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR" and she got really mad because idk
I had a lady on the phone when working customer care and she wouldn't let me explain anything. She kept yelling I don't care, I don't care! No matter how hard I tried. I am a really patient being, but this woman made me lose my temper. So after a good 10 minutes of me trying to work things out for her and she still responding with "I DON'T CARE", I yelled back at her that Idon't care about her either and hung up. She never called back or complained about my behavior, lucky me.
I wasn't dealing with a customer, but as a costumer I was about to receive my iced mocha when the lady said thanks, enjoy! I didn't think she would say anything so out of the suddenness I said thanks, you too!
Customer telling me he can take a four hour drive to the next town over to get product cheaper. I just had enough that day. Without thinking with the boss standing right behind me, go and buy it there.
I was giving out ice cream to this incredibly rude guy who kept complaining about virtually everything I did and when he said "you can't be serious about this" at one point, i replied with something like "I am seriously annoyed by your attitude".
Doesn't sound too bad but he looked like he was about to explode.
Luckily no one else heard that. Could have gotten me in trouble.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black Friday many years ago, I was working at Best Buy and not having any of it. Currently taking care of a bunch of customers and some angry woman comes up to me screaming that she needs help finding The Sims. There was a gigantic Sims rack behind her. Huge fucking sign. Anyways I told her where it was, and she demands that I personally show her.
...
So I showed her where it was... I told her to follow my lead and turned around to face the rack and said something like,
โOh hey there it is! Wow! So simple!โ
She ended up reporting me to any manager she could find. We all had a laugh about it the next day. That woman was just an entitled bitch.
I work at a petrol station and before customers use the petrol pumps, I have to push a button on the till to authorise it.
Customer comes in...
C: Hi pump 15
Me: Ok thatโll be-
C: why did it take so long for the pump to activate?
Me: Because its a Sunday morning and Im tired and slow.
Dunno why I said it but it made him shut up and made my colleague laugh. He promptly paid and left.
Call center/tech support worker here, and Iโm new to it.
Iโd been trying to think of a phrase to use on asshole callers without getting in trouble, but itโs tougher than it sounds. I canโt cuss or lie or say anything blatantly rude, but I needed it to convey the right message. โI hope your [malfunctioning electronic product] explodes in your hand and burns off your knuckle hair.โ Or something like that.
I blurted out the perfect phrase a few weeks ago, I think. A call popped up on my screen and I hit the โanswerโ button. Before I could say anything, I heard the guy yelling. I finally managed to get out my greeting and he said - this is a quote - โGreat, Iโve been transferred again.ย Iโve talked to so many stupid fucking people today.โ He spent the next several minutes dropping F bombs,ย talking shit, telling me how much money he earns, etc. So I leaned back in my chair and sat silently while he made an ass of himself.ย
When he finally stopped bitching, I said nothing. A few seconds of silence ticked by and he said, โHello?ย Are you still there?โ I said, โYep, Iโm still here. Just waiting for you to wrap it up.โย
Hoooo boy.... I donโt know what it is about the phrase โwrap it up,โ but it REALLY pisses people off. The first time I said it was an accident. Since then, Iโve tried it two more times, on purpose, and the effect was roughly the same.
But I did not cuss, didnโt lie, and wasnโt rude. All rules followed, all requirements met!
Tr3ytyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of relevant, kind of not. I work for geek squad in Texas (Iโm saying Texas so you have an idea of the culture in the area) and greet people with โHows it going sir!?โ Or โhow we doing today maโam?โ And I had it in the back of mind that Iโll probably one day come across somebody that.. maybe doesnโt wanna be called sir or maโam.. and I finally did, had a gentlebeing who was probably in their late 30s come in with their mother and I said just that, โhow can I help ya sir?โ. And he immediately reacted with โoh so Iโm sir now to you? Okayโ and I was a little phased but I moved on with finding out what was going on with their computer and right as I was about to figure out what the deal was he spoke up and said โyou know what? Iโm not giving my business to you, well go somewhere to get this fixed. I canโt believe you treat your customers with that kind of disrespectโ and they left.
Iโve never felt so fucking weird in my entire life. Like seriously what planet am I on right now lmfao.. I couldnโt help but laugh about the whole thing like what the hell.
wpso46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a clerk in a small town grocery store as a teenager years ago. The owner of the store and I would constantly argue over various topics throughout the entirety of my 6 year tenure at the store. She almost exclusively won every argument, as at the time, she was woman in her 40โs who had many life experiences. I, on the other hand was a high schooler.
One day, we were behind the counter having a convo/argument about karate of all things. My position was, that I believed karate to be a fairly useless skill in the real world. Having taken a few years worth of lessons from the only local karate instructor in town, (and having obtained a yellow belt) I felt I knew better than she did about the topic.
As we were going back and forth about the ancient form of self-defense, an elderly woman approached and I began ringing up her groceries. I proceeded to argue my point about karate as I scanned her items. The elderly customer seemed to perk up listening to the exchange, and she gave a little smile as she dug in her purse for her pocketbook.
I noticed that the store owner was having a hard time arguing against my superior knowledge of the martial arts. My boss was finally on the ropes in an argument! She was stuttering and couldnโt think of a suitable defense to my verbal assault. The only counter attack she could muster was that the local instructor was a good man.
A misstep...Her defenses had fallen. She was staggered. I saw the perfect opening for an instant K.O...I went in for the leg sweep. Not only was I going to embarrass my superior by dominating an argument in front of a customer, I was also going to give the elderly customer one hell of a show in the process.
I drew upon my personal knowledge of the local karate sensei. Having watched him on many nights leave during the middle of class to go out in to the parking lot to have sex with some of the other studentโs moms (my own mother being too old and short for his liking.)
Couple this information with my rudimentary knowledge of sexually transmitted diseases, and the fact that the master ALWAYS had fever blisters around his mouth, I blurted out the following argument killer:
โGood guy!?! Youโre wrong!!! He has sex with all his studentโs mothers in the parking lot and he also has herpes!!โ
I had won...My boss would only look at the ground in defeat. It seemed she could not acknowledge the victory I had scored...and in the presence of a witness no less.
I turned to collect the money from the elderly patron only to see her face red and eyes glaring at me in anger. She slammed the cash in to my hand and snatched her change when it was offered.
After the hasty exit of the gray-haired purchaser, my boss looked at me and says, โGood job. That was the karate teacherโs mother...โ
I answered the phone and a woman asked to speak with an employee who had recently moved on to another job (he had been with us for several years). Without thinking I said, โJamil isnโt with us anymoreโ to which the lady was silently and then I heard her muffled cry.
told some kids they could put our 3 headed guard to sleep by playing some music
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean this maliciously, but when a woman came into the shop with her young daughter on a school day, I assumed she was off because she was sick as her face was very red so I said "Aww does she have mumps?" and her mom just blinked and said that no, she's been running around.
My work later got an email from the same woman saying how it's concerning that employees were quick to assume deadly illnesses. Like I said, I didn't mean to say that thing in a bad way, but thinking about it now she dressed exactly like someone who complains to managers at the slightest inconvenience.
Years ago, i thought a very rude customer had hung up the phone and with a sigh of relief exclaimed 'what a fucking wanker'. However he'd not hung up, queue a massive torrent of verbal abuse and me hanging up the phone. By some miracle I never got into trouble for it.
Pulled into my office car park and saw a car parked over two (of three) parking spots. I walked into the office and yelled โwho parked like a cunt in my driveway?โ Was one of our biggest clients (who heard), Iโd forgotten we had a meeting scheduled and heโd been waiting for me for over an hour.
I was working at a shoprite and a lady is checking out. Her husband is bagging the groceries as Im scanning. The lady appears ready to pay.
Me- "Cash or Credit?"
Her- "Aren't you suppused to be bagging my groceries?"
Me- "Not exactly, I was waiting for you to pay."
Her- "Is that not your job?"
I guess I had a bit of a temper that day.
Me- "No, apparently it's your husbands job. There's two spots to bag over there. Either start bagging and Ill help, or Pay first then I'll help. My job is to take your money then assist you."
Her, appalled- "AND IF I ASKED YOUR MANAGER WHAT YOUR JOB RESPONSIBILITY IS WHAT WOULD THEY SAY! ITS NOT MY HUSBANDS JOB OR MINE! IF IT'S NOT YOUR JOB THEN WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED PEOPLE LIKE THE OTHER STORES!!"
Me- "Idk why. Were you looking for a job?"
Me, inside- "Uh-oh."
Her- "WHO'S YOUR MANAGER! literally screeching
Knowing my manager got my back cause we were partners in class and she's dope.
Me- "I'll call her over myself."
Me- "This lady thinks she doesnt have to pay before she has her groceries, and she's yelling at me"
walks over
Her- rehashes story
Manager, trying to contain smiling- "ma'am it seems to me he thought you were ready to pay not being lazy"
Her- "HE INSULTED ME!"
Manager- "Did you insult her?"
Me- "No"
Manager- "I'm inclinded to believe Zolazo, he never talks back to people, he's one of the best here"
Her- threatens corperate and storms out
Turns out she actually did call corperate and had to look at the engagment on camera. I was told from manager that her body language implied she was about to explode while I remained very composed. Did not lose my job.
I was talking to my boss and often call him โbloodโ or โstud muffinโ but accidentally called him โblood muffin.โ He looked horrified
doorw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a pizza place and one of my co-workers was named Isaac he was out on a delivery the phone rang and the caller id said โIsaacโ so I just figured he was calling because he had some type of problem so I just answered with โhiโ and even after the customer asked if he was calling the right place I still didnโt realize and I said โyeah what do you needโ it wasnโt a good time (sorry for no punctuation itโs 4 in the morning and I know if I did any than people would be more critical so I decided to do none)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman was screaming at me to get a manager because I had been "racist" because a white family of three was seated before the kids' football team she had brought in. I told her that our manager was running the drive thru. She yelled that I was a liar. I offered to take her back to "look at the man in the tie with the headset on." She wasn't keen on that and told me she was going to call our corporate office. I looked at her and said "ma'am, go ahead. They're going to tell you the same thing I told you." Not my best move at work.
daskrip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Restaurant server in Japan and I had two of these.
One of these happened hundreds of times before I realized it. See, "onegaishimasu" is similar to "please give me" but I thought it can be used as an abbreviation of the common first-time greeting "yoroshiku onegaishimasu" (please take care of me/I hope we get along well). I used the former on customers almost every time I brought them food. For some reason I even appended it to the name of the food sometimes, so I'd say "chicken schnitzel onegaishimasu" (thank you for the chicken schnitzel). I'm sure I confused a lot of people this way and I never got any response correcting me.
Second time was to a British lady. I was listing drinks and she stopped me at "coke" because that's what she wanted. I just wanted to let her know we have diet as well, but it came out as "are you SURE you don't want diet coke?" I realized what I said a few seconds after saying it and my face went red as I was finishing taking her order. When I brought her food I apologized and let her know I didn't mean any offense by it.
I was in the middle of a discussion with my boss when the phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw it was my wife so I picked it up and said "I'm just in the middle of something, I'll call you back in a bit. Bye, I love you." She said "OK" and with that I hung up.
Five minutes later I called my wife.
"Sorry about that, what did you want?"
"What do you mean?"
"You called me."
"No I didn't "
I looked at the caller list and the number that had called me just had the same last three digits as my wife's work number.
I Googled the number and found it was the parent company of one of our clients. It was obviously one of those set ups where everyone has their own DDI but it shows their reception number when they dial out.
So I had to call their reception, explain what had happened and ask if they could see any women sat at their desks laughing.
Eventually the receptionist tracked down the woman who had called me and I spent ten minutes apologising while she laughed.
I speak to her every now and then and each time I am sure I can hear a smile in her voice and I am sure she can hear me blushing.
Unfortunately i cant remember the entire story but a coworker of mine did this. Basically she's a white girl i think around 17 y old at the time. Really nice girl, hard worker and always polite. We worked in retail at the time and a bunch of big black guys ganged up on her and kind off harrassed/annoyed her. Dont remember what they were asking for but we didnt have it. The just kept bothering her with it, lets assume it was a air fryer.
Anyway because this girl got more and more annoyed and at a certain point just shouted at them; your mother is an air fryer.
She immediatly regretted and thought: oh no this is were i die. But the guys just kinda wandered off. One of them even came back a little later on and apologized to her.
If you have watched South Park in the last couple seasons then you have probably seen the "Member Berries". These berries say "Yeah, you memeba?" A LOT.
I used to work at a movie theatre and one day I was walking behind this older couple. They were talking about something I honestly wasn't paying any attention to them. But I caught the very end of their conversation when the wife looks at her husband and says "do you remember?" Without hesistating I said "YEAH I MEMBA".
They told my manager I was eavesdropping on them and I got written. It was a bad day that day.
I work in a supermarket and some customers really donโt like paying for bags even though thatโs been a thing for years where I live. A lot of people ask for a bag after they have paid in an attempt to get one for free.
So one day this seemingly normal guy did that and I said โsorry theyโre 10pโ. Queue the usual rant about how disgusting it is that they have to pay etc. He says โare you taking the piss?!โ So I said โnoโ in a bit of sarcastic tone. Well that was clearly a rhetorical question.
He then started screaming at me in front of the whole shop, calling me a slag, a fat cunt and every name under the sun really. The worst part is that security and my manager were standing right next to me and they didnโt say a word. My manager didnโt even turn around, in fact. Thanks for the back up guys.
I was bartending one night when 3 ladies come in. 2 of the 3 order and sit down while the 3rd stays at the bar to make up her mind. She was an Asian woman asking if we had any Japanese whiskey. I was about to tell her we do not have any Japanese whiskey.... but as I was saying it for some reason my mind was about to leave out "Japanese" and it ended up coming out as: "No sorry, we don't have any Jap.... whiskey."
I was carrying 2 large cases of water one in each hand, I saw the line was empty and approached the cash register, at that moment a girl in her mid-20s just walked in front of me in line. She wasn't buying anything but asking the cashier a fucking question.
The cashier said she couldn't help her after a few minutes, and the girl walked away and you could see she was disappointed.
And it was like Emperor Palpatine's voice made me say it, but I muttered "Good!" very loudly. The girl was like WTF and glared and I paid for my water.
Tech support a long time ago. Guy calls up and is having problems with something that is just brain-dead simple. I walk him through it and he just doesn't get it. I walk him through it again, and again, he fails to grasp this really simple concept. It went on for a good 15 minutes (we were rated based on our call time) and he just kept saying it didn't make any sense. Finally in a fit of frustration, I hit MUTE and muttered "get off my phone you fucking moron" before going back to the call. (you know what's coming) That's when I realized I didn't hit mute but something else. The guy is like "did you just call me a fucking moron?".
Five seconds of panicked silence on my end, and they I just said "hello? hello? are you still there?" and hung up. And prayed they weren't recording me that day (they weren't).
I never trusted that mute button again.
eiscego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a call center for health insurance. In order to follow HIPAA and the Privacy Act regulations, we had to verify 4 pieces of information, one of which had to be a Social Security number. There were many people who were not happy about providing this information. I was usually good at explaining to people why we need this... usually.
This one guy calls in, already a little upset. He asks why I need this information. I tell him "it's to make sure you are who you say you are and not lying". I said it in a light-hearted way, just trying to keep the mood cheerful. He thought I was accusing him of lying and I spent the next hour or so getting yelled at by him the whole time I was trying to help. It was great. //s
As a socially awkward person I worked in the back to avoid customer interaction, but when they cut jobs I was forced to go on the registers. Which was hell for me, so I have a lot of these. The worst is dealing with old people who just don't understand how retail works, especially in a scale higher than "Mr Jenkin's General Store who sells fine products from Abbott's Farms down the road".
So, i'd field questions like "why isn't there any of X small company product and lots of Y big company product?" and reply that the big company pays us more for more shelf space. Well, this is like lifting the lid on a massive conspiracy, they were often outraged, "it's all about money these days!". Yup, that's the point.
Or the time I tried to explain, after a shortage, that the reason we still had stock was because the milk wasn't "single origin", they just have tanks of milk from all different cows mixed together. Again, revealing the conspiracy, because they thought the milk still came from Old Man Jenkin's cow Bessie fresh this morning. "That's disgusting! If people knew this they'd be shocked!"
Or when I tried to explain that one product was made overseas in an African country using inferior ingredients so wasn't as good as the one made here, hence the price, and the customer thought I was being racist, but wasn't exactly upset and started adding her own racist views and I was too awkward to bother saying anything.
I have posted this before. It makes me laugh every time I remember it.
I used to work as a recruitment agent. A female colleague of mine was arranging for a client to come in and 'prep' with us before we set them on an interview.
As the phone call ended, the client said his goodbyes, and my colleague said "ok, love you, bye!" like you would say to your Mum.
She immediately put the phone down and went bright red. We were all in a fairly quiet office so we all heard her. We all laughed our asses off.
When the client came in, she simply did not acknowledge her "love you" moment with him.
KeithO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 23 and working very long hours and one of my (and the companies) biggest clients was very high maintenance. Good guy, funny guy, but really high maintainance. Use to call just to chat kind of client.
Anyways, one night we were wrapping up for the day and he was just talking away on the phone about pretty much nothing. Finally it was time to hang up and I was half asleep at this point. So:
"Alright, goodnight /u/KeithO . Let's pick this up tomorrow."
"Sounds good John. Love you."
Few moments passed. He laughed. I blithered. 20 years later I'm still embarrassed.
"You are the worst business I have ever dealt with! Thanks for nothing !"
"You're welcome :)"
Click
Whoops
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a small family with very young kids made my pleasantries and was getting on well with them.
Until they asked about my girlfriend and her family. Part of the conversion swung to how I got on with her parents, I told her is not met the dad because he wasn't around then I said her mother on the hand "she has to love me I am at least sleeping with her after all".
Not that I felt I shouldn't have done that to customers, but suits the topic, I believe.
So back in days I worked in call center for customers of telecommunication company. We've had some nice, decent people calling and treating employees with decency. However, there were many calls from type of folks who would rage on agent answering their phone, calling names and being disgusting with either stupidity or their manner (or rather lack of).
I have never took it personally, nor cared for opinion of a person who behaves like that, but many more sensitive co-workers would be very sad/upset, but i digress.
General policy of company was - you can hang up on customer if they swear to you repeatedly despite your request to stop.
My favorite technique to teach a lesson and cut the call with people going on and on with being rude (without swearing), while adding a bit of a laugh for ourselves would be:
I would let them talk for minutes without interrupting, while doing something more meaningful.
At certain point raging customer would always ask "are you still there?".
I would calmly answer "oh excuse me sir/ma'am, seems we had issue with line because I couldn't hear you for a while. Could you please repeat what you said?"
This sentence would always trigger them even further, after which they either insult repeatedly (so I can hang up) or they hang up on me.
Note: I would always try to help people first even if they are upset with the issue, but this I used for customers who didn't care for solving a problem and just wanted to vent.
There was a street called Foreshore Rd. In-house we used to call it something else as a joke. This lead to me inadvertently, when talking to a customer on the phone, referring to it as Foreskin Rd. Right at that moment the Department Director walked out of his office and heard me, turned around walked straight back into his office and closed the door. While I was profusely apologising on the phone he was laughing uncontrollably.
Yeah I worked at a lunch counter in high school and was pretty dumb, it being my first job. A woman ordered a meal and when I served it to her, she announced that she had ordered it to go. "NO, you didn't!" was my naive reply. Now take my advice, you just can't go being uppity to the over-forties telling them what they did or didn't say. She was livid. She got her food to go. After she left, the customers within earshot attested that she had not ordered her food to go. I got fired anyway. I had forgotten that the customer is always right. That's a hard one to learn. Food service sometimes really bites.
I swear a lot and most of the time I don't realise. Was working on a bar, not long turned 18, talking to a customer about swearing and women who swear. He went to order a drink and without thinking I was like "what do you want, cunt?" He stopped and just looked at me for a second before saying "I don't think you should've said that". My heart fell out of my arsehole lol I apologised and was like OMG I'm so sorry i didn't mean to say that!!!
Luckily he was really alright about it and just said to be careful. He could've got me into a lot of trouble.
I used to work at a sushi bar. A group of 5 police officers came in to eat at lunch. It was pretty dead so they they were the only ones in there. I brought out their food and before I left I said, "We made sure to get all the anthrax out of the soup." as a joke. They just looked at me and continued their conversation. I died so hard inside.
The customer tried to tell me a joke and I told him it wasnโt funny. He was not amused.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A client needed to sign some documents as an officer of his company. I told him to use a specific officer title(ceo, president, secretary, treasurer) he of course ignores this and uses "officer". He then calls immediately to ask if the documents are correct. I tell him no he must use a specific title. He didn't understand so I said "it's like asking what model of car you have and writing "car" ". He understood immediately, but it came out more dicky than intended.
I was the customer, I was in a dollar shop looking for valentines gifts with friends as pranks. One of them decided that he was going to get a Mankini for another guy, but was too scared to go up to the counter and purchase it. So I went up with the money to the register. The cashier scanned the Mankini, then... Then he said โHave Funโ...
I asked if their call was market research. They kept asking nosey questions. Needless to say, my boss received a mail about me. Lucky I did not get fired.
This is not exactly to a customer, but Iโm an English teacher in Japan and I was teaching my 6th grade students how to say what they want to be when they grow up.
So I was walking around the classroom and I saw this one girl hadnโt written anything on her paper and I said to her in English (she went to an International school before, so she spoke English pretty well), โWhat do you want to be, Mio?โ And she says, โI donโt want to be nothing.โ And really quickly without thinking I said, โhaha oh yeah? Me too.โ
And she just stared at me and then translated it into Japanese for all of her friends. Probably not the best thing for a teacher to tell an eleven year old child.
Probably the moment I went in the back and said "fucking hell" before swiftly hearing behind me a customer who'd just ranted at me go "what did you say?".
Context!
So I had just come off the tills and I think I was sorting the bakery, when I see a gaggle of children, that's the technical term, following this older, scraggly gentleman who I thought must've been from a fishing boat or the peninsula. Kids are asking if he'll buy them a beer, and one even offers to pay him, holding out a hand with cash, in front of the wine shelves and myself. So ofc I find this dodgy and think these children are trying to get a stranger to do a proxy sale, so I decide to go up to the man, get confirmation so I can kick the kids out, thinking he's being hassled by them.
Turns out they were his children. He got very sweary about my asking, saying I was "listening in" to other people's private conversations (don't have your kids do something looking illegal in front of me then, pal) and it was none of my business. I suggest he not take any alcohol from the shelves, because the new knowledge meant I couldn't be sure his purchase was not going to go to one of the kids. It's employee discretion here, but since a sale of alcohol to a minor could land me a personal fine of ยฃ6000 and lose me my job, I wasn't particularly willing to risk it. He tells me I'm a fucking disgrace and none of this is any of my business before storming off to the tills.
So I'm just standing there baffled, before saying "Well, we're the ones selling this so it quite literally is our business" before wandering to the back area.
And this is where I swear, thinking I'm alone, and the man demands to know what I just said. I really wish I had not sworn just prior to that. Bricking it. But I swivel on my foot, put a customer service smile on and pretend he didn't hear the swear. I repeat what I said after he stormed off, he rants some more, and I just tell him frankly that he's not getting any beer today and if he wants to be mad, be mad at his children for making him look like a proxy sale. He continues to get angry and storms off, I go to the tills to make sure why coworkers know what the deal is so it's enforced and doesn't look limp wristed. And then I go find a supervisor so they are aware of the situation in case I get a complaint lodged against me.
It was a shit show and in the middle of it I had to accidentally curse a customer in their hearing. FML.
ixvix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep during a call on a customer service role after asking him to restart his modem. The specific model he had would take at least 5 minutes. Anyway I fell asleep and at some point I woke up, shot up in my chair and yelled into the headset "DON'T RUN INTO THE FOREST!!"
Another time was one week into the same job my trainers never told me we were allowed to stop a conversation if we gave the customer 3 warnings for abuse etc. 45 minutes into a business customer yelling every obscenity at me, he called me a black cnt so I shot back "No, you're a black cnt!" he was speechless and demanded to speak to a manager so I just hung up. Sat there for a minute then decided I had to tell someone so I walked into the GMs office and told him what had happened. He said he'll get the team leader to act on the situation tomorrow (being already 6pm). The following day I found out my team leader had contacted said customer and told him off for speaking to her staff like that and she just closed his account. Apologised to me for not telling me about the warning protocol. She ended up being my favourite boss in any job I've ever had.
I work in retail and a blind man that comes into work sometimes needed help finding a few things for his kids. I kept handing him different things so he could determine if they were right or not. At one point, before I went and grabbed something else for him, I asked him if he was "happy looking at that for now"... the shame was real
I work maintenance at a mental hospital, one of the patients said hello to me so by reflex I replied "How's it going?". They told me terrible etc. I couldn't think of what to say as the expected answer is "fine" so I panicked and blurted out "Probably why you're in here". She didnt appreciate it and I left as quickly as possible.
Lozzif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colleague on the phone. Has a horrific woman who is awful. Women screams she will go to the press and then silence. Colleague mutters โwhat a fucking bitchโ and then years โWHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?โ
She obviously complained and demanded colleague get fired. Bosses listen to the call and advise bitch that colleague is getting a verbal warning (which means nothing) but based on the abuse she hurled st colleague weโd be canceling her job.
I'm a waitress. Came out with the food. Usually say what each plate is to make sure it's going to the right customer. I was on the last dish so I knew exactly who it was going to but still said what it was to make sure the right dish was going out.
So that's how I was looking a sweet old lady in the eyes and bluntly called her a tart. Realised my mistake immediately and tried to fix it with 'oh, I mean, the vegetable tart...' and made a hasty retreat.
I worked at a clothing retailer and for a while we sold pussycat bow blouses. Either someone who originally keyed it into the system was having a giggle or they made a genuine error, but it popped up on the screen as 'pussy blow' when scanned. Two teenage girls came in and bought literally like 10 of these shirts, and as I scanned them they chatted away about how much they loved pussy shirts (that's what they called them) - they were almost certainly fucking with me. I replied,
I worked in a shoe store while at university on the main street of my city and there are quite a few homeless and vagrants - most of them totally harmless and just down on their luck. The odd few however could be aggressive or creepy - I worked in a store with a team full of young women and we'd had instances of them being followed home.
So I'm walking into the store and there's a guy loitering around the front door starting intently at my colleagues behind the counter. I walk past him and he gives me another intensely creepy stare and is muttering under his breath.
I walk up to the counter and ask "what's up with the creep outside?"
What I don't realize and can't see from the entrance is a woman in the corner of our L-shaped store, who whips around and screams "THAT'S MY BROTHER!"
I immediately apologise and explain that I'm overly cautious because of what we've experienced in the past and she proceeds to scream at me that I'm a "fucking narrow minded bitch" and threatens to drag me out by my hair, along with my workmates.
My manager tells her to leave and threatens to call the police so she proceeds to storm out while shrieking and throwing shoes across the store.
She never came back but I swear to God I was waiting for a brick to come flying through the window all day.
TL;DR: questioned my manager about "the creep outside" only to find the customer out of view was his sister who then threatened to drag me and destroyed my store.
Work on a makeup counter. We have a gadget that shade matches foundation. A colour comes up that is horrible and very pink, so I tell the customer it tries to match everyone to that colour "to try and shift a few bottles".
Itโs not really something I said but my manager said.
A few years ago I promised this contractor some pipe a few days before he needed it. He was doing a waterline shutdown and had it scheduled a few days later.
We had some very large orders already scheduled to deliver the same week. One of our drivers called off the next day and the day after. So a day before his order is scheduled to deliver, I call the guy and tell him Iโm not going to be able to deliver and explained to him that he needed to get ahold of a trailer and pick up his order.
Everything seemed fine until the next day he calls in when his order didnโt deliver and just lets loose on me. I backpedaled basically saying I told him the morning before I wasnโt going to have a driver and he needed to pick up.
My manager rips the phone out of my hand and begins talking to the owner of this plumbing contractor, one of the largest - most well known in the area. I hear the contractor ask my manager โwhy are you being so condescendingโ.
My manger responded โ Iโm being condescending because youโre being a prickโ
That set the guy off the deep end. Could not believe he had just said that.
butibum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian, here. I worked for a well known swimwear brand at a well known London department store when this happened around 2009. Post Christmas sales were on. We just put anything that was out of season on racks and just priced them down, aggressively. A lady calls, asking if we had something in stock, in a particular size (the item would have been less than ยฃ10 on sale, probably 50% off). We didnโt have her size in stock and werenโt likely to get any more, as the style was a couple of seasons old. She said that she called another store, about 2 hours away, by car, and they have it in stock, but not on sale. She asked when we could get it across to our location. We normally can do stock transfers, but not on sale items, which I communicated to her.
She was outraged that we couldnโt fulfil her request, and asked to speak to the manager. I said I was the manager (I wasnโt) and that I canโt help in this instance, she should just get the item from the other store. She said that I wasnโt giving her a straight answer and I responded by saying something like โI have given you an answer, just not the answer that you want to hear.โ
It is important to note that being an employee, working in this department store, customers are not used to being spoken to like this. I never heard about any complaints, but I kind of knew that I should have probably worded my response a little better.
Second day on the phones working tech support for a mobile phone company. This was before I realized I had anxiety.
Lady calls in with a problem with the brightness. She has the same phone I do so I try to step by step walk her through it.
NOPE She wasnt having that.
I sat there for 10 minutes while she called me every name in the book, screaming, yelling etc.
I started to have a panic attack. She was tanking my call time numbers.
Then out of my mouth comes. "Shut the Fuck up and listen to what I have to say or hang up. I'm a human being and shouldn't listen to this bullshit"
She might have been shocked but she certainly shut up. I walked her through how to change the brightness. As soon as that was done I disconnected the call, wrote my notes, dropped off my badge and never returned.
I would have been fired any way so I left on my own terms. They have since put a one warning policy when someone starts berating you.
This one's a twofer. Bartending at a very busy chain restaurant when a customer sits down and asks for a frozen strawberry margarita. As was my way, I casually said I didn't really feel like making a blended drink(while I was simultaneously filling the blender). She took me quite seriously, said she would go find someplace else that would make her one and began to gather her things to leave. Whoops, clearly misread my guest. I apologized profusely and convinced her to stay. Crisis averted. Then, after I explained to her I was kidding, she told me that her friends and family frequently berated her for having no sense of humor.
"Well, they have a point."
Honestly though, she remains the only person I've ever met with no sense of humor.
While I was working as a waiter I served quite handsome ~30 years old guy. We chatted a little bit when he make order and after that when I went to give him his food he asked โSooo... Are you going to be here all night?โ I didnโt even thinking and just answer โI hope soโ (last day some waiter finished shift earlier cuz lacks of customers). He said โOuch, you hope so?โ and laughed. After few hours later I realized that he was probably hitting on me.
When I said "yes" when my boss asked me to take over the job of one guy who resigned until the company find his replacement. almost 6 months later, there's still no one who fills the position.
Mantuko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at the front desk at a hotel there has been 3 times that my sarcastic autopilot took control:
One time a guest wanted me to call the GM at 3am during night audit for the stupidest reason, I told him how that was not possible. He kept yelling at me hat I was not doing my job and that this was a terrible customer service and so on until he screeched What if it was an emergency or a fire who would you call? And I snapped: The fire department duh. He was not happy.
Random person sent their wheelchair to the wrong hotel and was mad we did not call her ( we didn't know who she was, she was staying at another hotel and the receipt only had her name) and would not send it to the other location (us paying for the delivery) even though they made the mistake. She was really nasty over the phone and tried cutting me off while I was trying to give her options yelling how she was in a wheelchair and could not come or send someone or do anything other that us paying for the delivery. I snapped and replied: Well clearly you are not because it is here and not there. That did not end well (We still did not paid for the delivery)
A super short guy (not little people but really really short) came with his girlfriend, his friend and friend's girlfriend. They were laughing at him cause he could not reach the counter to sign the registration card. (We had a lower side counter for disabled people but he did not want to use it) They kept making jokes at him while helping him read the registration card. I had been working a 14 hour shift and joined the roast saying how the song playing in the lobby was quite relevant right now. It was The Beatles - With a Little help from my friends. I wanted to die right there but luckily he LOL'ed. Gave them complimentary parking for that night.
kliikz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came through the drive thru at work and luckily my family owns it so no true harm done, but.. I was trying to take his order and the wind kept blowing in the mic everytime he would go to talk, so I muted the mic from my end (or so I thought) and said "are you fucking kidding me".. told him to pull around I can't hear him. Luckily he's an old gym teacher at the school I went to so he just laughed but it was awkward as fuck. Haven't seen him since.
I've been particularly careful as to what I say now..
kosif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working a shit job as as a Deli worker in Ballard, Washington. I was on the register one day, taking orders then turning around to make them as fast as I could. People would place their order, and then hang back a ways until their order was ready. There was a regular who came up, ordered something, and then stepped back while I put it on the panini press (or whatever the fuck he ordered). I run through other customer's orders (shit from whatever we have cooked, cold sandwiches, etc) when I turn back with the first guy's sandwich, there's a woman there (another regular) wanting to pay for something. The dude was standing like 10-15 feet away from the register, but he decided that the lady stepping up to a completely clear register was not ok.
And then it was like an adult slapfight. The guy got pissed that she was in front of him, so he called her a cunt. She turns around and gets in his face. This goes on for like a full minute or so, until I realize that I'm actually still there and the one who has to check these two out. I slapped the counter and yelled "HEY. Act like fucking adults or get the fuck out of my line." They both shut up, paid for their shit, and left. I thought for sure that I was going to be reported by one of the 5 employees around me, but nobody batted an eye.
Then, someone told us that a homeless guy had taken a shit outside the door. So, that was a average day in that shithole.
Not really a customer per se, but I teach a beginner guitar class for kids, and during the lesson where we had to learn the 'A' chord, they were all strumming furiously and I walked around the class checking their fingers while yelling above the noise.. "Yes, sounds good! Play that A! Let me hear the A-ness!"
One kid out of 15 giggled.
Twirg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an online chat session with an internal staff member to which I was providing tech support.
The chat application shows a profile photo of the user, and this one was quite pretty
During the chat sessions I received a couple of messages from a colleague to which I replied "Hang on, I have someone much hotter than you in another chat window".
As you can probably guess I sent it to the hottie in question.
I work in local government in what could most likely be translated to the department of traffic. Sometimes we have people coming in for all sorts of different reasons and given that we had a lot of people absent from work for some time now, one coworker (who doesn't really have any responsibilities and just sort of hangs around here) had to step in. Now, he has a really short temper mind you and was in jail for a few months because of it. Some German speaking guy came in, furious af, about his car being towed. His first statement was that he is a medical doctor. My coworker (already getting slightly pissed by this statement) begins to explain how we had put up parking prohibited signs at least a week ago and that this was the guy's own fault for not paying attention to either the signs or the fair that had been built in the middle of the street. As soon as the guy tried to argue my coworker just flipped. He screamed and called him names and the guy was just standing there, baffled and stuttering. My coworker then just closed the window and left him standing there. I had to intervene as the guy threatened to call the mayor and such. Unfortunately, my coworker could still hear the guy rant from the other room, came back and threatened to throw punches. It was uncomfortable as they just stood there screaming at each other while I had the people T was in a meeting with sitting a few meters away drinking coffee and feeling awkward.
Tl;dr My very special coworker started screaming, cussing and threatening to throw punches over what was just a question.
I was working as a graphic designer and I had a special client that would stand behind me and tell me what to click with my mouse, grab the mouse from me, etc. I politely stood up and said, "Go ahead, you do it. You seem to know better than me so you finish your design." It was my first year, I was still cocky after college. Anyway, turns out the customer was special because it was the owner's sister. She called him and said I was rude and abrasive. My mom still likes to bring it up and we laugh. No repercussions btw.
DPH_NS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Insurance company call centre, all calls are recorded.
Had arranged to call back a client for some reason forget why now.
Client:"Hello?"
Me: "Hi this is DPH_NS callin..."
C: "HELLO?"
Me: HI!, This is DPH_N...
C: "HELLO!!?!?, I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
Me: HI! ITS DP
C: "Ahhh, forget it, just leave a message after the tone:
Answering machine: "BEEP!"
Me: "Ohhh for fucks sake..."
realization that I just swore on a customers answering machine and that my side of the call is being recorded as well
I accidentally sent a link to a YouTube video of Peter Griffin saying โOH MY GOD WHO THE HELL CARESโ to a customer who was pretty upset (not really for a good reason/they were kinda unreasonable, but such is life). That was it; the entire message was that link. It actually was a real accident; it was the result of a bug in one of the programs we use. But still funny as hell.
A difficult customer who had been refused service by three of my other coworkers (I found out about the refusals later) came to my handbags register with a fragrance item wanting to purchase it.
He kept demanding that I smile for him. At first I was joking about not smiling on command until he got rude and said โyouโre supposed to give service with a smileโ
My reply was โwould you ask this of one of the male associates?โ
Thatโs when he went from being difficult to downright terrifying. Being loud and rude as he decided he didnโt want to make the purchase. He visibly and audibly reminded me so much of my step father that I was visibly shaken up and near tears. When my manager came over she took that asshatโs side. Thankfully my co worker stood her ground for the both of us.
That was the day I knew I needed out of retail ASAP
I once caught two kids stealing in a supermarket I worked in as a teenager. 'Go ahead, I don't care' was my chat and so I left them to it. Cue twenty minutes later and I was told to go to the staff room over the Tannoy. Inside were two crying kids, a security guard, management and the police. 'He told us to steal!!' they pointed to me.
I shrugged and said I did no such thing with all these eyes fixed on me. They all knew I probably did say it but had no evidence. I got away with it this time..
j94mp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't really say anything bad, but I could tell that they were the type to be easily offended. I used the same script I used on all potential customers (at a gym) "our classes aren't built to 'graduate' you to the next level, but rather are focused on personal improvement. We're very inclusive, so the classes are built off of modification levels. You're the one who dictates the difficulty of the class and what you can and can't do. I've seen beginners in the more intensive strength training classes, pregnant women, seniors, etc. just go at your own pace"
I could instantly feel the energy change, as if they were insinuating they fell into any of those categories. I use the same script on everyone. They were a couple in their 30s. Obviously weren't seniors or pregnant.
Last thing they asked was if it was always this busy. "Well it is a Monday (top traffic for our gym) and it's peak hours. Keep in mind this isn't indicative of our average traffic. There are a lot of New Years resolutioners right now hehe ;) "
They said "...that's us"
And I never saw them again. To be fair they were very sensitive and seemed to think things were directed at them that 100% were not, but oh well. Shouldn't have said it.
Worked for a game store for a while and one night when I was getting ready to close a group of people came in. I was irritated that they came in 5 minutes after close but agreed to help them out. After finishing their purchase I told them thanks for coming out and that I had to close. One of the guys in the group refused to leave and told me I couldnโt kick him out of the store. I informed him that me being the MOD at the time made it so I could very well kick him out. He proceeded to call me a douchebag and threw a few things. At this point Iโm pissed and as soon as they walked out I told the guy to fuck himself and locked the door to the store.
Big mistake.
Dude goes full ape shit banging on the door, threatening to kill me in the parking lot. I was alone at the time and I worked in a super sketchy part of town so this freaked me out a bit so I called the cops but by the time they got there the guys had already left. It wasnโt all bad though this experience gave me the balls to finally quit that job and now Iโm working at a place I actually like and Iโm getting payed more so eh it was worth it
emax4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid me was rinigng up a lady buying adult diapers and joking. Turns out it was for her 10-year old.
I have terrible hearing-not diagnosed with hearing loss or anything, my hearing is just pretty poor in general and I've never been checked out lol-and one of my regular customers came to the register. I asked him how he was doing and he said "Not so good" and I said "Oh I'm sorry to hear that" and he said "Yeah, today my boss mumble mumble." I had no idea what he said and couldn't pull out any contextual clues whatsoever, and so I just looked around nervously and said "Well at least it's not snowing!" We had just had a bout of really shitty winter weather and it was the first thing that came to mind. He stared at me dumbfounded and said "My boss got run over by a truck and died, but yeah, I guess you're right, at least it's not snowing..."
In one of my retail jobs a customer asked me to go and get a heavy product from the warehouse. I went and got it and he said it was the wrong item. I double checked the item code and it was right. He wasn't happy, kept saying I had made a mistake and that the product was wrong. I looked him square in the eye and said "look, I work here and I know our products. This is the item you asked me to get. It matches the product code you gave me. It's exactly what you asked me for. Now are you going to buy it or are you just wasting my time?"
Got a warning from the manager and reassigned to the warehouse away from customers.
I was working an upstairs function, before it started I was in one of the downstairs rooms. A lady approaches me and my two workers standing at the waiter sation. She immediately starts yelling complaining her senior meals came out 10 mins ago and her mains still hadent arrived. I tried all the normal "I'll go find your food now." "The kitchen is under high levels of stress right now so smaller meals might come out quicker." And she wouldn't have a bar of it.
After she said that this was the worst service she has ever expirance I saw my coworker come out of the other side of the room holding that ladies food. Now this was the wrong thing to say and I know that but I then said "We have just found your food now and it will be here in just a moment. There's no need to be rude." And I saw her process what I said and she just went off "IM NOT BEING RUDE YOU ARE BEING RUDE." My coworker Sam, a 6'9 Texan, just looked at me "JollySwagman walk away." And I turn and just leave.
My old manager once got in trouble because she was pitching a little gizmo that's powered with salt water.
Customer asks, "How do I make salt water?"
Manager says, "Uhh... salt and water?"
She might have gotten away with it, but another customer overheard and just about pissed herself laughing, leaving the first customer furious and complaining to HO about the manager being "condescending".
Was waiting tables at a rather busy restauraunt, a woman with her stroller came up to me and asked if I would watch her baby while she goes to the toilet downstairs. I take one look at her baby and tell her 'Ma'am, I don't think anyone wants to steal your baby'
avilsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my colleague was super rude to someone and told him "you expect me to go through the entire store just to find what you want? I've got better things to do." And interpreted the customer's "excuse me?" literally, and repeated his whole sentence again without thinking the customer was upset.
Took a whole twenty minutes before HR rang in with an urgent customer complaint, and his ass was off getting whooped by the managers an hour later.
This elderly black man came in and had something of an unsatisfying experience (several things were subpar by his standards). He called the restaurant a few minutes after leaving to complain about something, and the manager went to ask an employee something. Without thinking, he blurtedโalmost into the phoneโโRemember that black man that was in here a bit ago?โ
Long story short, when he picked up the phone again, he got chewed out for being a racist.
jbehr95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16 and just started waitressing at a Portuguese restaurant in town. I had a family of all Asians sit down in my section and they ordered a plate of rice. For absolutely no reason at all i said
โYou know itโs yellow rice right?โ
In no way shape or form am i racist but that was the absolute worst thing i have ever said to a customer lol.
A see sales guy at Costco (the private vendors) started talking to me about how he runs his business and how smart he is. Went on about how low risk it is to sell in Costco. Then told me his shoes are made in China but they stamp on made in Mexico. ๐ง
Not me but a colleague. We work helping disabled people get financial help. One day, she had to make a telephone call to enquire about some dates of when this customer had both his legs amputated. He informed us of these dates and she was then able to advise what financial help he could get . Just as the telephone call was coming to an end he thanked her for all her help and her response was "that's ok sir, that's what we are here for, to get you back on your feet" she looked like the world had just swallowed her up.
Served a lovely older lady and her daughter and instead of saying โenjoy the rest of your day, Ladiesโ I said โenjoy the rest of your days, Ladyโ.....plural placement matters, folks.
Am an insurance agent. Pull dudes record and he has a wrap sheet of driving offenses. Asks me how he can save money on his personal auto policy, I replied with "ride the bus the next 3 years?". That got me a nice written warning.
I worked at McDonald's and one day our pop machine broke and this lady came through the drive-thru and when I told her the pop machine was broke she started screaming at me and finally said "well who broke it?!" To which I replied, "I did ma'am because I didn't want YOU to have any pop" I heard her gasp then I saw her drive her away. I turned around and my manager was standing there staring at me with her mouth open. Never got in trouble though.
Pretty late to the game here, but I was serving a man and his wife once, they seemed chatty and me and the man were joking back and forth, his wife egging me on because she wasnโt used to anybody keeping up with him. I dropped off their burgers and when I went back and asked how everything was he said โwell, geez, this is too big!โ I immediately replied with โI bet thatโs the first time youโve ever said that, isnโt it?โ And a smirk.
I immediately knew I shouldnโt have said that, but after a a couple seconds of silence they both burst into laughter and Iโve never felt more relieved in my life.
I worked at a computer repair shop. My boss was cheap as hell and wanted us to make more service sales but we kept getting hardware repair requests and my expertise is in software.
We finally got a software repair request where the customerโs laptopโs screen orientation was upside down and all I had to do was going into display settings and revert it back to normal. I did it quickly in front of him and he was shocked, asking me how I did that. Instead of lying and saying that I had to run a few commands, I showed him how easy it was and he asked me how much the labor fee will be. Our diagnostic fee is $20, so I told him that and he said, โ$20 just for doing that?! Are you kidding me?โ After he said that, I was speechless because I realized how ridiculous that sounded... so he said heโd pay $20 only if I can defrag his hard drive while Iโm at it โ which I did. Surprisingly, the defrag didnโt take as long as I thought I would (it only took a few hours, I thought itโd be like a day)... but man, I still couldโve saved time and made the store the same amount of money if I pretended to spend like 10 minutes on it typing in different commands and repairing it, then just throw some pseudo-tech talk at him when he asked me how I did that.
I personally wouldnโt have charged him had it been my store, but I did since it isnโt and my boss was still pissed that I only charged him $20 for two services.
I worked in door to door sales for a while. One of the things you learn early on is that when you approach a house, you need to identify things around the house that you can use to build a relationship on. So, for example, if the homeowner has a cool garden, a cool car, something sports related, you might bring it up early to establish a friendly relationship.
Well, at this house, I noticed that the guy had a military license Plate. A "gold star" plate to be specific. As some of you may or may not know, a "good star" plate signifies that someone in your family not only served in the military, but died during their service (in war). I knew that... I've always known that... On this fateful day, I forgot.
The guy opened the door, I introduced myself, and stupidly said (with a big smile) "I noticed the good star plate... I also served".
In that moment, I was thinking, stupidly, that the plate was just a notice to everyone that his family member served, so I was trying to connect with him on that.
The moment those words left my mouth, the homeowner began to won and cry. He looked at me incredulously and said "my son served. He died in Iraq in 09".
I was mortified... I just apologized and left immediately. Even now, years later, that moment makes me feel sadness for bringing up that event, along with pure cringe inducing stomach pain for being responsible for it
j94mp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was showing a girl how to use a massage bed. Tell her it starts after a predetermined amount of time, or she can start it with the button.
She says "so I can just lay here and wait?"
I was like "yeah... just lay down and... let it happen...."
I used to work in a call center and had a custome kicking off about wanting a replacement tablet. Our warranty wouldnt allow it (he broke it) and he used every excuse in the book while becoming more and morw of a dick. He eventually tried playing the guilt card and said his son was currently recovering from a heart transplant and used it to play games in the hospital.
Without thinking I replied, "I appreciate that sir but it's totally irrelevant."
Needless to say he completely lost his shit shouted and swore a bit and then hung up. I definitely couldve worded better but I was still right.
Of all the questions on here, this one I have the winning answer for, at least from the replies I've seen. A woman once asked me to discount a two hundred and fifty dollar bill and to remove nine dollars from it. I told her "if you go donate plasma you can afford the nine dollars". >. <
Selling cell phones. Customer was quoted a price for the phone. The customer immediately starts bitching about their, "free upgrade." As any cell phone salesman will tell you, this takes you down a fun rabbit hole of explanation. After the explanation she continued to complain and whine and rant and rave about the price. But, she let the salesperson continue the transaction. After about 10 minutes of the whining I'd had enough.
I said, "ma'am if you don't like our prices, you're welcome to purchase the phone somewhere else. There's a RadioShack just down way."
Her and the sales person helping her gave me some very angry looks. I immediately realized my mistake and practically ran to the back room to avoid further glares.
She wrote a complaint to corporate about me. First write up at any job ever.
"Yeah, yeah, you know something funny? Every time the pay date comes suddenly you seem to have a lot of problem with what we build, it is just like everything is amazing until one DAY before the check needs to fall and suddenly we have all sort of "huge structural problems" according to YOU".
She should have heard it, but I shouldn't have said it.
I was trying to sell some computers to Supernintendo Chalmers, and told him we should talk rust proofing- "These Coleco's will rust up on you like that!" I told him.
I once made a chocolate milkshake for a group of people and handed it to the woman at the table without thinking. It was for one of the guys and she called me out on it straight away. Felt like such an asshole.
UunaA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Picked up the phone to someone trying to place an order... and said "I have no fucking clue what you're looking for" when I couldn't find what they wanted... needless to say they didn't come back.
I do State Inspections on cars in Virginia. Had a guy upset for his car failing, as usual. We are required as an inspection station to be able to offer repair to bring it into compliance... is what I should have said when he said โyou are just trying to make money off meโ. Instead I said, โWell we are a business, and I donโt work for freeโ.
He wasnโt happy, Iโm pretty sure he called the state police to complain. Looking forward to that talking to
I work with insurance claims a lot at my job. This lady had come in to be seen where I work after an auto accident, but didn't have the claim number yet, as it had just happened.
So she calls back to give me the claim number, and I said, "in order to put the claim in, I need the type of insurance you have (ex. State Farm) and the auto policy number. INSISTED she didn't have a policy number. I told her it was on the card. She starts screaming at me.
Finally I was like, "I'm not going to be screamed at, so once you figure out the number I need, call my manager" and hung up on her.
Wasn't so much I shouldn't have said that, because I don't deserve to be berated by an idiot, but we have recorded lines so I was worried about a higher-up getting a complaint. I told my manager and she was like, "hey, you don't have to sit there and be screamed at. It's cool".
This lady was harassing me at the customer service desk because no one had helped her. Now our customer service desk was a big L, with returns and pickups at the front and tech support on the side. I was on a side till helping a coworker figure out how to process a trade-in for a mobile phone customer that she'd been working with (the front desk tills were the only place to do these). I was also working in her department that day.
I asked the lady if she was waiting on the techs and she got huffy about, "No, I have a return."
I directed her to the line at the front side of the desk and told her the customer service associates would be able to help her. Another dramatic sigh and, "Well how was I supposed to know there was a line?!"
I, who did not think this through, told her, "Well, the posts and ropes are a pretty good indication."
Luckily, the MOD that day was one I got along very well with, so when I went to get him and told him what I did he just shook his head at me and suggested I just come get him next time instead, then went out to deal with her.
A waitress on a cruise told me that she had been seasick all day, and that she had just gotten back from vomiting but had no time to stop and rest bc she was on duty for 8 more hours. She didn't seem to care but I really wish she hadn't told me that.
Was working in an insurance call center. I have a pretty deep voice. One guy was just raging because I was denying his claim. So he says "Look, lady..."
I interrupt whatever he says, I think my voice dropped an octave, and I said "First of all, I'm not a lady. Second, you're not going to berate me into paying a claim when you didn't have coverage."
Apparently interrupting his rant threw him off. His voice got a lot shakier after I did it. He became apologetic and just hung up.
Then the passive aggressive twat wrote a letter to our company COO saying that I verbally abused him which resulted in calls being pulled and a week where I was pretty convinced I was getting fired.
In the end my immediate manager wrote me up for the "First of all..." comment and the COO sent me a handwritten note that included a $50 gift card.
Back when the Switch was first released, a few days after it had been released, a guy came up to the counter and asked if we had any of the Nintendo Switch.
I said, "Ha-Ha!" as if he had made a clever joke. I saw the look on his face and followed it up a second later with, "Oh, you were serious! No sir, they were sold out immediately and are currently plagued by supply issues."
I make salads for a high end fast food restraunt. A lady ordered a chicken plate with mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts. I finished making her food and rang her up. I watched it steaming on the counter for 20 mins while she took her sweet time come any get her food. She took another few minutes getting back to her seat and then rushed up to the counter complaining that her food was cold and it was our fault. My manager got into a disscussion/ argument about how it was or wasn't my fault and she got pissed. They kept arguing for probably another 10 mins and my manager ended with the line, "if you didn't take your time getting your food it woukd still be warm and standing here fighting me for a discount that I'm not going to five you is just making you food colder so I suggest you sit down." She walked into the back and started eating a donut.
mjv22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a produce department in the grocery store and took the produce managers word for gospel on all things produce. The man had made a profession out of fruits and vegetables so who was I to question him.
He told me that 'Yam' was a synonym for sweet potato. Customer comes in and asks where the yams are and the exchange went like this:
I was waiting tables on Valentineโs Day. One of my tables was a mother and son. As I was explaining the three-course pre-fixe menu, I mentioned how sweet it was that he was taking his mom out for V-Day. Mentioned it again when I dropped off drinks.
At this point the mom stops me and says, โIโm his wife. Iโm the mother of his children.โ
This was before I even brought the appetizers out. I apologized, but thereโs really no coming back from a mistake like that. The rest of the dinner was soooo awkward and I just wanted to disappear.
This is a reverse comment, someone said this to me as a customer.
Last month I was at the post office because I had an appointment to get my passport picture. Once I finally got up to the front of the line and told the lady I was there for my appointment she said "you are 10 minutes late" and I said, "because I've been standing in this line FOREVER". She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Nope, not forever I can assure you haven't been here forever". Ouch that hurt.
Still...being put in my place by the post office lady was humbling
One time during a liquor sale I screwed up an attempt at flattery. I carefully checked the birthday on her ID, and said '75? I honestly thought you looked like 85.'
I suppose it came out wrong. Poor woman looked deeply offended.
I was ringing a lady up at the register and her total ended being an exactly round number. Let's say $5. So she says, "Oh wow! $5.00 exactly! What're the odds of that happening?"
Okay, so in my defense, I thought the customer was being sarcastic too. She comes up to my register and says (Again, thought she was being sarcastic) โAre you having fun?โ I immediately reply with โNo!โ and laugh. But sheโs just staring at me. God....
Alwin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After a long and pointless discussion (pointless because he was wrong but didnt want his mind changed) at my bar I said: "Look mate, I've been doing this for atleast 10 years. I know my stuff, I know what I am talking about. Feel free to google it, but stop wasting my time arguing me. I know I am right" which isn't the best response to start with, but this douche had been arguing with me for a fair few minutes when I had better stuff to do. He responded "I've worked behind a bar too an..." and I cut him off "I don't give a flying fuck. Google it. You're wrong". He pulled out his phone, typed something into it, started reading and walked off. I assume he found out he was wrong.
I was a cashier at a Panera Bread in central Ohio. One day, Clark Kellogg (famous basketball player) strolls in and orders a meal. The man is huge. Naturally, I timidly ask him how tall he is. He's not offended or anything, he chuckles and tells me he's 6'10". I'm thoroughly impressed.
The next woman in line is a dwarf. I asked her how tall she was.
I worked a job one time where the customers were called members and thereโd be times that youโd have to queue them in to sit down with a specialist. So I had a member come in one day and ask to sit down with said specialist. My response back was โI apologize. There will be a bit of a wait. He has a lengthy member right now.โ and then I realized what I said and felt really dumb.
Working in a leisure attraction which is small and the whole building is able to be seen clearly from all approaches.
Woman complaining that she wants her money back after going around the whole place saying she didn't realise it was going to be small and thought it was going to be bigger on the inside .
My exasperated reply after discussing it for a while on an incredibly busy day was 'it's not a Tardis madam' She went away.
A customer was sounding really hoarse (Like it was barely comprehensible what he said), and was buying medicine for something unrelated. I half-jokingly asked if he needed something for the throat aswell. His responses was pulling down his turtleneck a little, revealing a hole in his throat, while saying "I don't think you have anything that helps". I wanted to bury myself right then and there.
I'd just started at my current job, first week in, and still learning the till system. A couple come in and say they're looking for cheap comics to turn into bouquets for their wedding. I point them out to our reduced box, where comics that usually cost around ยฃ3, are reduced to around 40p-60p. After a while of searching, they come back with about 30 or so comics. I scan them all, all fine. My mind must've gone on auto-pilot though.
Me: And here's your change.
Couple: Thank you.
Me: Thank you, enjoy the wedding.
...
Couple: Obviously we're gonna enjoy the wedding.
Fortunately, we did laugh about it, so no biggie.
ryy29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even that bad but I asked a customer "so where in America are you from?"
He replied "I'm Canadian"
The conversation really dried up after that. Fairly inoffensive (kinda) error I though!
I work at Jimmy Johnโs
One thing that not a lot of people know is that we wrap all our sandwiches the same, so when people come in the store and say โWeโll have that to go.โ It really doesnโt matter because itโs the same exact thing. One time a lady who was being a real asshole gave the classic โIโll have it to go.โ I leaned over the counter and said โDo you wanna hear a secret?โ Then proceeded to say โTheyโre all to go.โ She cancelled her order and stormed out of the store.
Not really my customer but a customer for a place i worked at.
So my brother put is ram backward in is computer and exploded is motherboard. And since i already worked in a place that refurbed old computer i had a 10% off on computer purchase. So i go there with my brother and after they sell me the computer their is that customer that get in and ask to have them install windows and start to ask them to install world of warcraft and stuff. I but in and said, Dude you should ask them to just install windows and update the driver, that's the hard stuff, installing game is easy you can do it yourself. He then go yeah but it take hour to install them. I said exactly, they are paid by the hour, it will cost you a fortune for something you can do in background. Then i kinda realized the seller was looking at me with knife in is eyes. So i kinda left with the computer and my 10% off. >.>
American tourists asked me for directions to the Cliffs of Moher (we were in Cork, at least 3 hours away). I told them jokingly, 'just around the corner, take the left at the junction and it's 5 minutes away'. I was smiling as I said that and thought it was obvious I was joking and just said they could use Google maps as there was free WiFi. They decided to take my first directions and returned 30 mins later saying they couldn't find it. That day I learned Americans don't understand sarcasm.
10ish years ago I worked at an FYE. I didn't watch the show Dexter, but heard a lot of hoopla on the latest season finale and my researched showed that his wife was killed, and he found her in a bathtub full of her blood. Crazy shit, I thought.
So anyway, customer comes up and buys season 3 or something of the show on boxset DVD. This was before Hulu and Netflix hit big, so your boxsets were still the place to go.
Trying to make conversation with him, I say "Oh yeah, this show! Good pick. Wasn't the latest episode crazy, with his wife being killed and everything? Dude that was brutal."
Man stared at me, dead panned. Explains he hasn't seen the latest season. I quietly and quickly finish ringing him, and squeak a sorry and goodbye.
We had a really busy day at the cafeteria and we were multiple workers sharing the only credit card machine. I had prepared the machine for a costumer I was helping, but then this other middle-aged guy tried to use this contactless payment. In order to stop him from being charged for something that wasn't his, I instinctly just push his hand away and rally sharply says "AH, AH!" like you would with a dog that misbehaved. Thank god he was not offended and just joked with it.
I was a host at an Applebeeโs and I would always ask the really friendly old people how they liked their food and I had asked this (not so nice ) old person how she liked it and she said something like โmeh my dead grandmother could cook a steak betterโ and I just said โitโs applebees what did you expect ?โ
tenrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
store called our IT desk to report their printer wasn't working and wasn't happy with the 1-day turn around for an engineer to come out. i stated they had multiple printers in store they could use and the woman replied with "yeah but it's on the other side of the store"
"you've got legs, haven't you?"
didn't go well haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't too crazy but I worked at a diner that had the same 3-4 vegetables/sides for each day of the week. There was a woman that would call every Saturday night to ask for the day's vegetables, and then still ask if we had macaroni and cheese (which is Friday's side), she was never too happy when I said no.
Finally after a few weeks, she aggressively asked me why we had the same vegetables every time she called and never mac and cheese. I told her, "Well ma'am, we have the same vegetables each day of the week. Today is Saturday. You always call on Saturday. If you called on Friday you could order Mac and Cheese." My tone may have been slightly sarcastic and she proceeded to call me not nice words and hung up. I then had to explain this to my boss and the owner in case she called back to report me.
I work at a soccer club, where I formerly reffed, and now supervise our big field with 10-15 games at a time.
One parent had become very upset that their child had been placed onto a team in which 3 other players werenโt showing up, and so moral fell when they never had enough kids to play, and so obviously frustration arose. We had tried to offer a number of solutions, but the coach was unreceptive, and liked having a smaller group of kids, and at the end of the day, it wasnโt worth upsetting a coach over a couple of parents, because coach volunteers time and helps us, so we give them some say. Parent is obviously livid about this, so I suggested if they didnโt like it they should โthink about volunteering to coach your kids team next yearโ
Good god was that a mistake. Fast forward about a year, we had to tell our first volunteer coach that they would need to step down for NEVER following any kinds of rules, particularly the one where we are legally responsible for removing people from our fields during thunderstorms, and no you canโt keep standing under a fucking tree with your team, you need to go wait in your cars.
Tl;dr recommended an annoying parent volunteer so they could enjoy the freedoms that come from being the coach, they volunteered and turned into a nightmare
cast260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know Iโm really late but itโs a fun story
I used to work in an exchange shop where people could come and sell us their games, movies and electronics.
One day this older woman came in with a laptop she wanted to sell, a bit annoying because you had to know every detail about what laptop you buying from the customer but okay. We need to reset and run tests on the laptop before we can take it but she had forgotten her password, we said not too much of a problem we have a guy who can remotely wipe it clean out all data, but he wasnโt going to be in until the following Monday.
A few days goes past, Monday rolled around and she came back and as it turns out, our guru who would have been able to unlock and wipe it isnโt in, his office is locked and he had lost his keys, lived a fair while away and couldnโt come to work. He wasnโt going to be in the next day either. Thankfully I wasnโt serving her at this point because she was being fussy and wasnโt understanding or agreeing that we canโt buy the laptop right now. My manager and colleagues explained this to the woman who was getting angrier by the second and they told her nothing could be done until he was back, she was welcome to keep her laptop but she was insisting we buy it off of her, this was never going to happen in our store because we canโt legally sell it on.
She is being unreasonable and we are trying to explain that we canโt unlock the laptop without this guy and due to โunforeseen circumstancesโ he wonโt be in. Sheโs whaling on about how she doesnโt care about unforeseen circumstances. At this point Iโm getting second hand angry at this women for just being so unreasonable and she is yelling at my colleague and friend and I just step up to the till and try to calmly say, โunforeseen circumstances are unforeseen and we canโt currently fix it, it was unforeseen that you forgot your password, so thereโs thatโ.
Yeah she didnโt like that much but shut up n stuck her bottom lip out like a child and agreed to wait a little while longer. Very satisfying.
TL;DR woman complaining about something she kinda did herself, shut up when I told her.
tFalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A older lady that I was waiting on was making small talk as I rung up here order and she ask if I had any kids. I said " I'm sure I do somewhere out there".
gansea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy came in with his girlfriend and another dude one time and he had a bag with him that he put down at a table before he was sat. He left the bag on the other table while he was eating and obviously the busboy thought it was trash and threw it away.
So, I'm taking their order and everyone orders but him. When I ask him what he wants, he whispers to his girlfriend and she orders for him. His order came out wrong, apparently, even though it's what the lady had said. He's visibly angry but still not speaking to me and eats his tacos anyway.
After they're done I drop the check off and they give a card. I run the card and give that back and that's when he works up the nerve to say something to me.
"Where's my bag, man?"
"What bag?"
"I came in with a bag of food where the fuck is it?"
"I didn't see a bag, man.."
"I left it on that table right there and now it's gone."
"Oh, the busboy probably thought it was garbage, let me see if he saw it."
The bus boy did see it and did throw it out, obviously. So I went back and broke the news.
"Yo, that's so fucked up! Who the fuck do you think you are! That was my shit!" etc etc etc
Then, after a long shift filled with weird people, I said, "Dude, you couldn't even order for yourself a minute ago."
"What?! Fuck you! Let's step outside! You can't talk to me like that!"
He got in my face to the point that I was ready to grab the back of his neck at the first sudden movement. But then a couple of the cooks came out (some badass looking Mexican dudes with spider tattoos and lazy eyes) and stood behind me. Then the guy just nodded and stood out front staring at me through the front window.
He came in a few hours later to apologize and ask for a gift certificate. Lol.
TL;DR: Agro dude made a dumb mistake and blamed me for it. I called him out for ordering through his girlfriend after he blew up on me. He almost fought me. He ended up coming back to apologize/beg.
About an hour ago. I was at my job (that I'm prolly gonna quit). I took a 20mg of adderall because graveyard shift. Gentleman came to the desk, I rang up his items and when he paid, I asked him if he wanted an adderall instead of a receipt. The shock the ran through my body as I asked an off duty cop if he wanted adderall.
One time when I was lifeguarding, there was a kid that was breaking some rule, not a big deal. I go over to tell him and he's just not listening or getting what I'm saying so I'm kind of getting frustrated and yelling. His father comes over to see what's going on and it turns out they are both deaf! I was yelling at a deaf child! He was pretty upset and I felt horrible about the whole thing.
Not me, but a girl I knew worked as a manager at a waxing salon. Being in such an...intimate business, she and the actual waxers got very used to discussing all kinds of weird body stuff with no compunctions.
One customer was asking about what a particular service covered, and my friend goes, without thinking, "Oh, it gets everything! We'll even get the hair out of your cute little asshole!"
Work in the service side of a dealership and was being verbally abused by a customer about two weeks in. She was upset we hadnโt told her she need something thatโs clearly written out in her manual for maintenance. After a few minutes of taking her crap my response turned into โ Iโm not here to babysit you just take care of your vehicle maโam โ
Coworker heard me and took over from there. Felt bad after but really was tired of being a punching bag at that point.
When I got my first real job it was as a collector for a credit card company. This lady was selfishly trying to use a cancer diagnosis as her excuse for nonpayment to which I replied "lady you're not the only person with cancer". I have felt very bad about saying that for well over a decade now. I do hope she made it
Working in the drive thru in McDonalds, it had not been the best day. Someone came through about mid afternoon so wasn't that busy. They order a hamburger no pickle or onion, that's fine but it has to be made fresh. She sighs and goes:
"No, I always get parked up. I am not moving" my response went along the lines of "Sorry, but this is the first time in three hours someone has ordered something similar, so you we can either pre-make one in the hopes someone orders it but no doubt you would complain it was cold or you can park over there for the minute it's going to take and enjoy your hot burger."
Safe to say I was swiftly moved into the kitchen and away from the customers
I was working for a landscaping company. We maintained (grass and flower beds) this entire complex of about 30 low-income duplex places. I was going from house to house spraying weed killer in the flower beds.
I ran out of chemical in my sprayer so I kneeled down at the nearest spicket to refill my sprayer when this bitch pulls up in her blinged-out Tahoe, rolls down the window, and proceeds to tell me not to be stealing her water.... I promptly asked if she'd like me to give her a nickel... that was fun.
I used to have a car that would vapor lock. Took me a few days of being late to work to finally tuck tail and ask my dad to help me figure out what was up with it. He is a self taught mechanic. I hatred to ask him, he didn't like I had a foreign made car. Oh well...
I drive to work (late again, 3rd day in a row" ) while on the phone with him he figures out what's up. All I have to do is take off my gas cap and let the fumes out. Easy! I was so happy it was an easy fix, least for now.
I get to work, I'm like 25 mins late and in a mad dash to open the restaurant line before opening.
Here he comes, the boss. An obnoxious, son of a sheriff with a God complex, hateful & rude man. We never got along because he didn't like my mom who worked there years before and took his pissyness with her out on me. I never backed down though.
Boss: you're late again
Me: I'm thinking "No shit, Captain Obvious" all I said was "I know. I apologize. My car keeps vapor locking. I just today figured out what was wrong with it. I shouldn't be late tomorrow.
B: baffled look on his face
(I knew this look, he is seconds from saying something to piss me off just because he can...) "What even is that?! I've never heard that! That's stupid."
M: well my dad is a mechanic and has worked on cars his whole life so if he says that what's wrong and what he told me to do worked so must know what he is doing..."
B: again, that dumb. Never heard of it.
I was pissed now. You insulted my dad!
M: Well, that prolly why you're a restaurant manager and not a mechanic.
As soon as I said I thought "Bitch, you're fired. "
He was actually completely dumbfounded and just walked away. I was on pins and needles all day but made damn sure I showed up on time the next day.
At a job where I have to answer phones and explain things to people we recruit for temp jobs: โI really wish I could help you, but itโs now 5:00 on a Friday and I donโt care.โ click.
Thankfully no one found out, as I was alone in the office and even if he did call to complain (which I donโt think he did) he didnโt have my name. It was a dick move but this was after 20 minutes of him looping an argument that I need to find him a job and use my own personal cell phone to take messages for him and email him telling him about them, because he doesnโt like to give out his own personal number.
prklexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a customer to report me I didn't care if I'd get fired, I'd make more via unemployment (I pay non tax deductible tolls daily) .....they didn't report me unfortunately so I'm still here.
I work for an equipment dealership in Texas in an experimental department that calls low performing accounts and is a catch all contact for general customer service.
During training this one particularly bubblily woman I worked with was making her first calls. (2016) She called his oil field customer and asked "How are you doing!?"
"Not good at all, I can't even afford toilet paper right now with how crude is doin' right now."
"THAT GREAT!" Well I'm here to help....."
"THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT LADY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS JUST CALL THEM UP TO STIR UP SHIT!?"
She overtook me calling one of the machines an "Ashley Madison" mine was humorous. Hers cost us a customer.
I'm an ER RN. My coworker had one particular patient who was there for mental health problems. I look into the room across the ER to find that she is sliding out of bed onto the floor. She had been trying to do this the entire time and everyone was trying to keep her from doing so. By the time I walk into the room she is lying on the floor. 3 of the staff try to get her back into bed. She is not putting any effort into this and we are not hurting ourselves for this. So on our second attempt, I tell her to put her feet underneath her and stand up. She only has one leg.
Had a guy who kept asking if I was counting the loose change he pulled from his pocket correctly. Heโd been rude previously, so I just snapped that I got an OP 4, and I could count money.
I used to work in tech support for a large TV company. I had an A-hole customer that was going crazy because I told him the TV needed to be sent for repair.
'How am I going to entertain my kids?' he asked. My reply 'Tell them to go an enjoy the great outdoors?' I did a proper Ron Burgundy high pitch at the end of my sentence. The customer apologised
. That could've gone either way.
Customer comes in with his daughter (17 age maybe) all the time. I ask him one day how many kids he has. He explains a few older ones are out of the house and his special need daughter living at home. My reaction was thinking he was making a dad joke because his daughter doesn't seem special needs. You know, 'oh my daughter is special needs and won't move out'... I laughed... Yup... I know now. She is like 25 and in the special Olympics and everything. He handled it well and I apologized.
I was a barista and this dude came in and it felt like we were kinda flirting. We got onto the subject of spiders and I was like ah I love spiders! I go on youtube and watch all the videos people make of them eating eachother and stuff. He took his coffee and left.
My first year of working retail years ago. A very gangster-esque man walks in. Baggy clothes and struting through the store. He walks up to me and says "Hey man you got little baggies?". I walk him to our sandwich baggies, thinking I know EXACTLY what these are being used for.
Afterwards, we walk past the candy aisle and I remember we sell a candy called "Mary Jane". I pick up a pack and say "Hey, maybe you want some of this too?" as a joke.
Like something out of a movie, his wife and daughter come from around the corner as he says "What is that supposed to mean?". I freeze for a second and say "I just thought you might like some candy." and walk away.
I had just returned to work after having a baby, and a larger customer came in wearing the same shirt that had been my favorite maternity shirt. Like a real maternity shirt from a maternity store. Naturally I complimented her on her choice then....asked when she was due, thinking we were both new moms...you can see where this is going. Not my finest moment.
Was stocking an aisle when I hear small feet running at the end of my aisle. Looked over and this little girl had just stopped and was staring at me. Made the biggest mistake when I simply said "hi". The girl started crying, dropped down on her ass and began scream-bawling until her mother finally decided to show up almost a minute and a half later. She scooped her daughter up, gave me probably the worst stink eye I've ever received with her "I want to see the manager" haircut and left in a big huff. At first I had a feeling that somehow I'd end up in trouble for her not watching her own kid and my harsh words scaring the poor child but luckily for me she didn't want to see the manager that day.
In the first week the store I work at was open, I asked a gentleman for his ID and called him "sir." His name was Katelyn.
She still shops there five years later, and still presents an androgenous-to-masculine appearance. I cringe at myself for it whenever I see her, but she didn't really seem fazed.
I was a cart pusher for a while, and the managers had been cracking down on stuff being left in the carts, so we are supposed to empty any trash in them. A customer took a cart and started going inside when I noticed a plastic bag inside of it, so I yelled out, "Hey! Was that in there when you got it!?" And they gave me the most confused look I've gotten at work. Turns out, it was their bag that they brought along with them. I felt like an asshole
I'm in health care, used to be an MA, and when I went to give a patient a blood test order I jokingly said "we're only gonna have to take a leg to run all these tests" before realizing dude had an amputated leg.
That was fun.
Senvy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was probably around 8 year old, in primary school.
Normal day, we are doing stuff, and then I hear someone saying "ech, I'm so stupid for doing that wrong" and being a smart kid, without skipping a bit I replied "Sure you are"
After that I only heared few GASP, and then, silence in the class. Puzzled, I looked up at other kids, thinking that what I said was funny, and not understanding why everyone was looking at me.
Then I saw that teacher wasn't in her desk, then terified I looked behind, and saw her. She was picking some stuff from the cupboard.
On that moment I know it was too late. I probably cried and begged her to pretend I didn't said that and do nothing to me.
Well, she did hear that, and was not happy.
ronano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I didn't say this, I'm one of those pricks who twist the question to suit them. Used to give walking tours in Dublin, had a private tour with bunch of Austrians and Germans, grand bunch of lads. As it ended and we parted I gave them a wave that accidentally turned into a nazi salute. FML.
Edit: reading this comment again, I must have been subconsciously influenced by that father Ted episode where he's accidentally a nazi
I told a lady I wasn't going to serve her as I thought she had had enough to drink.
When she asked "what do you mean?" her boyfriend, who was beside her, immediately started making that signal tv producers make when they want you to shut up to me.
I didn't catch the warning and normally i'd be very diplomatic when refusing customers but this womans eyes were rolling everywhich way and i said "listen love, you can't even see straight, I definitely think you've had enough".
The boyfriend just sighed a "oh fuck" kind of sigh and it was then that I noticed the woman's eyes were totally milky! She was fucking blind!
I had a very hostile encounter with a guy who refused to pay for a copy card. It got heated. Turns out I had said it cost 50 dollars instead of 50 cents and he was right, that was absurd.
Working at a fast food place, this kid walks up and asks "How thick are your milkshakes?" Trying to dredge up my high school chemistry classes, I simply couldn't remember what units one uses for viscosity- so I didn't know what to tell him. He continued "Well, can I drink them with a straw or do I need a spoon?" Realizing my opportunity I said, with a glint in my eye "Well, sir, that all depends on how much you suck."
So, I still don't think I shouldn't have said it, but here it is.
Customer was buying a game because it had hot chicks on the cover. I said, "I read that game sucks." The dude still bought it. Afterwards my manager told me "don't tell customers that"--basically don't tank the sale.
I'm just sitting here thinking, if that's our opinion, then we shouldn't be publishing articles that say that in the magazine our company puts out.
Working for the big red phone company customer though Canada wouldn't be roaming because it was part of the United States. I said "not since they seceded from the union back in '64" he said oh and accepted it as a fact.
tyfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This member was cussing me out because he overdrafted, and our fees our less than banks but he was being a real jackass so eventually I said something along the lines of โItโs not my fault that you spent money you didnโt have, now is it?โ
He cussed me out again and stormed out of the bank lol
It wasn't my mouth that ran, but my coworker's. A regular came in to get a sandwich and she says "wow you got all dressed up to come and see us!" And he responded "I just came from my mom's funeral."
Dynas_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to this first year about my three headed dog and let slip that he was guarding something for our headmaster. But that wasn't the worst bit. These kids kept meddling and I also let by that Professor Dumbledore was working with Nicolas Flamel. I should not have said that.
Used to work for a company in the phones and I had an awful habit of calling people 'mate'. This customer didn't like that and stated 'I'm not your mate, don't call me that' to which I returned 'alright mate'. The verbal abuse got pretty hot after that.
We had a regular lady who would come in every day and had a great relationship with all of the employees. I was new and thought that she was a really cool person and looked forward to building a good relationship with her too. One week we all knew the she was going on a cruise in the Caribbean with her sister so we didn't see her all week, and she came back the following Monday, while I was on shift. I wanted to be casual and welcome her back and so I said "How was your trip?? You look so tan!!"
I think this is a good time to mention that this lady was black... and I was a white blonde boy. I cringed immediately after it slipped out and it still keeps me up at night.
meology ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get absolutely buried, but oh well.
I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store while in college. On this particular day I will admit that I was not in the best mood to begin with due to some relationship issues and just overall hating that job. So basically, I was not in any mood to be my usual friendly, passive self.
So this woman comes up to our aisle and I can already sense that she was a miserable, bitchy woman. I ignored it and went through the motions. Then, she starts analyzing the girl bagging for me. She asked the girl for several requests on how to bag her groceries very specifically. This isn't necessarily unusual, but this lady was VERY meticulous and acting fussy about every little thing.
Not all of the people I worked with were great at bagging the groceries, but this girl was listening and doing what the lady asked and this lady was STILL giving her so much attitude.
Then she starts to show the poor girl how to bag her groceries correctly while being completely condescending. The girl was polite and just kept doing what she was asked. However, I was irritated so I wasn't really interacting as much with the woman or being as openly friendly as I normally would be with a customer. I may have given her some attitude, but never actually said anything to her directly at that point. I'm sure she could tell I was annoyed, though.
The woman looks at me and says "You know, you're very rude", to which I quickly replied without thinking "No, you are" and handed her the receipt.
She SCREAMED for my manager. Like a scream I would never expect from a customer in a public setting. At that point I was thinking "Oh shit" and got immediately embarrassed, but I couldn't help how frustrated I felt with this woman.
My manager ended up pulling me off the register and told me "I know she was awful, and I understand why you said what you said, but you know we can't do that". I agreed, apologized, and moved on.
So yeah, don't tell customers who are being rude to you that they are, in fact, the one being rude. Felt kinda good though.
Oh there were a few. A few years ago I had my own music studio and I took care of everything, so sometimes i worked 16 hours a day, sometimes whilst dealing with a lot of unecessary bullshit. At the same time I was dealing with depression, had two very active kids and a not always understanding wife at home. Eventually it took a toll on me and some days I couldnt hide i was feeling like shit from my clients. I remember a few occasions I was just pissed of being alive whilst dealing with clients, like this one time I recorded those 16yo kids. They took their mothers and girlfriends to the studio and everything was a mess. They so were very late. So by the end of session, my wife was already messaging me I was late to pick her and the kids , they said something regarding continuing the session besides what was combined so I just spit out a bunch lf words filled with anger towards then. They looked at me weirdly and left. I did similar things with other clients but thankfully I am free-ish from depression and learned I should just leave my own stuff hidden from whoever I work with and cry / punch / scream when I get home.
Here's a couple: I told a table "you should remember what you ordered" because I'm standing there and everyone suddenly forgets and it takes forever to distribute food. And also: "You have a knife and fork right there" after someone asked me to cut their food in half for them. Maybe I was bitchy, but some people are also dumb.
Gwarek2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not me, but someone else I happen to know, and he was actually bragging about it.
So, he worked at a supermarket and, as you may know, people who work retail often get asked about where certain food items are and whatnot. This one time (which would essentially be his last day) he got asked by a muslim about whether a food item contained pork or not, to which he replied "no", and the customer went and bought it.
Turns out it was totally made of pork, and someone else in their muslim household noticed...
When I was in highschool, I worked at the local Canadian Tire in my town. (Basicly a mix of Rona, Wal-Mart, a sporting goods store and a mechanic garage.) About a 20 minute drive to Quebec. Alot of French speaking customers who come in from Quebec and request to speak in French. (sometimes in perfect English). That is normal and most of the time I go and get a French speaking employee or they simply switch to speaking English.
Every so often you get a customer who gets sorta rude about not being able to speak French to them yourself. One day this older gentlemen comes in and speaking to me in French and I understand he is asking about hockey skates. I say how I can't speak French my self but I can bring him to the hockey skates isle and get a French speaking employee. He then says, in perfect English "Don't they teach you French in school?" I then reply with out thinking "Only to a certain grade. I got switched out to focus on something more useful."
French speaking Quebecers don't like to hear non-french speaking Canadians tell them French is not all that useful outside of Quebec.
"You look thirsty" when doing direct sales of alcohol in a store. Turned out he was a recovering alcoholic.
geek66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a "I'm glad I did"... This is component sales to the owner of a small manufacturing company. We did not do much business with them, less than $100K per year and we were supposed to have sent them to distribution, but they were often willing to buy surplus and overstock, to allow fast delivery and lower costs - BUT - then they always complained, about the delivery and the cost!!!
So one day I visited and after meeting with her husband; the real founder and main engineer / designer, it was a "Woman owned" enterprise to get govt jobs; well after he was berating me and our company about how bad we were, and then asked for more special deals.. I was kind of done.
I went and met with her to try to get paid for the last order ( maybe $30K in material) -- she started the same complaints.
So I said, "Well, it seems no matter what we do, our company can not satisfy you and your company. We will resend the last invoice and in that email I will provide the names of the Sales contacts of our main three competitors. I do hope that you have better luck with them."
The look on her face was priceless.
I left ..... before I could sent the email the next day they had wired in the payment, and they were much better after that.
In sales - there is NO BETTER position to be in than to be willing to walk away from business, or from a "bad client" - they suck up too many resources, cause disruption and are - just like a toxic employee...get rid of them!
Rastaurant, very attractive server talking to me. She asks "On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard are You?" I couldn't keep a straight face, then she corrected herself to say how "hot" I was. It was a particularly warm day, I'll always remember that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to work at Sam's and said that one time, he saw a guy buying a microwave. Trying to be nice, he asked, "Hey, did your microwave go out on you?" The guy replied, "No, my house burned down yesterday. We're buying this so we can eat for now."
I was helping a customer who I've helped previously a week prior and she was being extremely impatient. She started getting aggravated about the wait time (2 minutes) and she says, "I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. I'm just a really impatient person." And without thinking I responded with, "It's ok, I know you are." Woopsie!!
Was working customer service in a call center at a very popular cell phone, wont say the name, but Can you hear me now?
Customer was not listening to what I was trying to tell him and was adamant about speaking to a supervisor. Was being very belligerent. So finally he said, just get me a to a supervisor.
I told him that we had a limited number of supervisors and that it may be a few minutes before I can get one on the line for him. He said, well I have already waited all this time! I responded "Then I guess you wont be upset about waiting a few more minutes then, will you?"
This little comment got me put on probation for a year.
Waiting tables: Annoying old man responded, "Hungry!" When I asked bow they were doing. I snapped back, "Well then, thank God this isn't the pet store then huh?!" Sometimes I have a problem of saying what I'm thinking.
Always found this a silly question to ask in a restaurant or anywhere else. Either people lie and say "good" just to be done with the fake pleasantry or they're honest and unload their life troubles on the underpaid employee who likely has their own struggles and isn't paid to be a therapist.
I, too, say "hungry" if a restaurant employee asks how I am. It's an honest answer, while it's also something the employee can actually help with. Worse is when they ask that question in a drive-thru or something. Do they actually want customers to give a long sob story and hold up the line? Don't ask the question if it's not genuine.
Promise you, pretty much every encounter with a server is not genuine. We ask that to be pleasant not that we care. You say hungry we roll our eyes so far back in our heads we see our brains. Just saying.
Seems easy enough to just...not ask the question? Why ask if you don't care? Being polite and friendly can be as simple as saying, "Hello!" with a smile, or "Hi, I'll be right with you." Unless you want a conversation, don't open yourself up to one by asking something open ended.
Every time a server comes up to ask if the food is good while I have my mouth full, or am mid-conversation with someone at the table, or if I've barely taken a bite, that's when I roll my eyes.
So I should just say, "Hi. Whatcha gonna eat?" And leave it at that? Nah cause then I'd be considered rude and my tip would suffer.
Oh. Ohhhhh we know you roll your eyes. We do that intentionally. It's fun for us. If I like you, i won't ask at in innapropiate time, we are taught to be amazing at timing. I know exactly what I'm doing when you look like an idiot with half a roll out of your mouth and I cheerfully ask, how everything is. I don't think you realize how funny your face is.
That's when you get no tip because you sound like a shitty server. Maybe if you hate people so much that you fuck with them and don't let 'em eat in peace, you're in the wrong career field.
Oh sweetie. You've either never worked in customer service, or haven't long enough. We get jaded and start to as you said hate people because of the abuse we are put through on the daily. It's the little things that get us through the day. That, and the fact that in a day I make $400 all while working on my degree. I think I'm doing something right.
I have extensive customer service experience in retail, call centers, and even a restaurant. I treat customers with respect unless they give me reason not to. I've never become jaded to the point I start trying to ruin their experience just for kicks. I didn't say you were not making money, but $400 a day seems like a stretch if you're making payments on an FR-S. Bless your heart!!!
How you know you're losing the argument? You start pulling other things up besides the point. You don't know if I'm making payments on my car? Also, you took the time to find out what car I have. That's not weird at all. Oh goodie. A bless your heart southerner. We all know that it's actually an insult. Little bit of pot calling kettle black huh? I at least own up to who I am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a waiter at Bob Evans. I was taking the order from customer who momentarily got something stuck in his throat. He put his hand up, coughed, cleared his throat. He said "excuse me, frog in my throat." I interjected with, "yah, you and Mrs. Piggy." His wife immediately cracked up, he acted weird initially but then chuckled.. I was in fear of them saying something to manager for the rest of their meal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had three women come into my department in South Florida one day. Was an older German lady and her two adult daughters. Only one daughter spoke any English, the other German and Portugese, and the mother only German. Mom was buying a camera and would ask daughter 1 a question in German, who would then ask me in English, not knowing I could understand.
About halfway through the conversation, I started answering the questions in English before Daughter 1 would translate. This went on for a good few minutes before anyone picked up on it. During one question, mom realizes what's going on, stops mid-sentence, looks at me, and says, in German, "You understand German, don't you?" and starts laughing her ass off.
We all had a good laugh, but I regretted it all as soon as the discussion got to the more technical side since, while I was perfectly fine with conversational German that one would use everyday, my vocabulary was very limited when it came to technical camera terminology.
I drive a shuttle golf cart around campus where I go to college. The routes are clearly marked by a sign and as long as they donโt say โOff dutyโ, anyone can get on. At one point, my route is dead (it was pouring rain)and Iโm just waiting at a stopping point for passengers and reading. A guy walks up to me and says, โAre you still operating?โ Without thinking, I said, โNo, Iโm just sitting here because I like the rainโ that was one silent ride
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My moment is actually a story where I said nothing at all. I had my first job at 16. I was bagging groceries and fetching carts at a supermarket. I was standing at the end of the line bagging some items and the customer wanted a pack of cigarettes. When that happened the cashier had to leave their register and go get them. While the cashier was gone and I was waiting to start working on the next order I kind of zoned out. The customer asked me to bag something differently and it didn't even click that she was talking to me. I remember looking in her direction and just seeing her looking at me with a weird look on her face which I then decided to ignore. From her perspective she asked this kid to do something and he just stared at her blankly. My manager came up to me later and asked me if I was high. I said no, I wasn't. I was, however, an easily distracted teenager.
Once was on a support call for a customer who always had strange issues. He had me on speaker and we were going through it when we hit another snag. I typically would mute myself to talk to my team or whisper to myself. Well this time I forgot and accidentally groaned and said "I just wanna fucking kill myself." (It wasn't his issue that made me feel this way, it was the horrible job and the fact that I wasn't supposed to be taking support calls anymore, it merely triggered the queue of feelings) well him and the woman in the room start laughing hysterically and that's when I first figured I done fucked up. They realized their problems were quite tasking and excused me though, and no one else ever found out. Very nice of them.
I work at a fastfood chain. Sometimes working at the cash registry gets pretty dull, and i start experimenting with things to say.
One time there was a family of about 6-7 people, and they had made at pretty extensive order. As i said "is that all?" The mother (i assume) said, "oh no can we get crisscut fries with very meal instead of fries?". This requires me to redo the whole order. Im usually fine with this if they only do it once, but after i redid the order she asked if they could get milkshakes with their meals, and then i got pretty pissed since there was a line building up behind them.
I said quite agitated "Is there anything else you want to change?" She said no. As she was paying she subltely apologized, and i said "oh well I get paid 10$ in hour anyways, so i dont care". She found this aggressive and called my supervisor.
A guy was looking for empty CDs. I told him its hard to find those now as no one uses them anymore as everything is switching to usb drives and sticks. He said he did and left. Later on I found out he complained to my management I reminded him of reality.
So this is the worst. However I don't really regret it. Long story.
I'm a manager at a big box store and I am always the one who gets all the shit. It's a very stressful job and it's been pileing on lately.
So I get a phone call from a customer. Shes mad about something and I have to go to the back to check something for her. She's being a real dick and I've had a bad day but I'm trying my best to keep my composure. As I'm in the back an associate stops me and says there's an angry lady at the front who wants to talk to me. I already got the information lady #1 wanted so I start talking to her telling her about it as I walk up to the front to the office to finish with lady #1s issue.
Conveniently lady #2 is standing beside the office and the associate points me out to her and she starts yelling at me. At this point lady #1 is on hold so I quickly ask lady #1 what her issue is because maybe I can solve it quick since she's yelling that she has been waiting for me for so long. Turns out it's something I have to take a little more time for so I go into the office for a moment to try and complete the issue with lady #1. Lady #1 is still being a complete and total bitch to me screaming on the phone and asks me another question. Something I need to check in the back but hadn't while I was back there. (Something that doesn't even help our situation. She just wanted to know for the sake of knowing) I explain that I only grabbed the vital information for our situation and she loses it calling me an idiot and saying I clearly don't know how to do my job.
Not wanting to walk past lady #2 without any answers yet, I make the dive and quickly leave the office and avoid eye contact with lady #2 who is now yelling at me for just walking by with no answers. All while I'm trying to calm down lady #1 on the phone who is also yelling at me. I make it almost to the back when lady #1 says "are you stupid why wouldn't you just wait in the back until I was completely finished" So my mistake was I told her I had another customer issue at the front so that's why I went up there and then I could finish her issue in the front office. Lady #1 stops and says she doesn't even want the information anymore. She just wants me to solve the problem. I told her that I am now at the back of the building and need to walk again back to the front to finish her problem in the office.
And she LOSES it. She starts yelling about how it's unprofessional to help another customer when she still has a problem and saying "this is ridiculous I want you to appoligize to me" so I say " I am sorry about your situation and I am doing the best I can to solve it" she says "that's not a good apology. Say sorry again" so I say "I'm sorry that you didn't appreciate my initial apology and I am sorry about your situation. I am doing everything I can" she tells me that didn't sound sincere and to apologize again. At this point my whole body is shaking mad and I snap. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY IS THAT ENOUGH I'M SORRYS FOR YOU?" I was literally screaming at her.
She obviously started to loose it on me and I'm walking back to the front. I've got angry tears in my eyes and I've blacked out to everything she's saying and just started losing it saying "DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS? DO YOU THINK I LIKE BEING YELLED AT FROM 2 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS? DO YOU THINK I LIKE MY SHITTY JOB? DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING TO COME INTO WORK EVERY DAY AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU YELLING AT ME WHEN ALL I'M TRYING TO DO IS MY FUCKING JOB? DO YOU THINK I FUCKING LIKE THIS?" (To sum up what I said) so then I walk again past lady #2 who is again yelling at me and I go into the office I'm full on crying now and don't even have the phone against my head. I can hear lady #1 yelling and I throw the phone at the desk where another manager was working. I start having a panic attack and sit on the floor for a while.
The other manager takes care of it. Tells the customer I'm not available to talk (she wanted to yell at me more) And lucky for me the next day was the start of my first ever vacation (up until this point I've never taken more then 3 days off in a row.)
No one ever brought it up. Never got in trouble. Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: iโve been waiting for my order for nearly ten minutes! (Loudly and aggressively)
Me: your life sounds hard
I work in auto insurance claims. This particular woman was trying to claim that literally everything in her neglected and abused fifth-wheel from the late 90s was related to her tires blowing out of the freeway. She was a pain in the ass and cussed me out multiple times when we refused to cover things that clearly had not happened, or were a result of obvious wear and tear. After five months of dealing with this claim and a solid half hour of her insisting in between insults to my character that her toilet was damaged in the incident (she had been using her toilet as a trash can and wondered why it overflowed and damaged her carpet), I finally snapped.
"Okay ma'am. Explain to me how your tire blowout made your air conditioner's fuse box need to be replaced."
"I don't like your tone of voice."
"That's okay. I don't like people who commit fraud."
My manager was equally frustrated with this woman, so thankfully she totally got it and didn't write me up, and let this horrid creature yell at her for a while about how unprofessional I was and about how she totally wasn't lying to us. I would have deserved the write-up, but it would have been totally worth it.
__celli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An unruly customer who rents vans from us weekly.
Heโs always asking for discounts or special treatment. He picks up from one of our small one-man locations. The guy who normally works there letโs the dude walk all over him. Me? Nah. That ainโt me. You respect me Weโre not doing business.
Anyways, he wanted me to fill up seven vans full of gas. Aka he wanted me to individually drive all seven vans to the gas station and fill it for him. with two other customers waiting.
I told him no, of course. That is not a service we offer and itโs against policy. As long as the van has 1/8 of a tank, Iโm 100% correct in giving it to you. Youโre on the hook for all the gas anyways.
He freaks out calling himself our best customer blah blah so I quickly responded โI have a contract I manage for 128 trucks for 3 years. If I calculated every penny you spent here in the last month, it wouldnโt even top his bill today. And thatโs one of many contracts of the like. If you stopped renting today, our finance team wouldnโt even notice the dip in sales. So no, you arenโt special, our company doesnโt need your business, and I wonโt risk my job or other customers to make you happy. You get what The company offers or youโre leaving. Thatโs how business works.โ
Oh man I got the whole โGIMME YOUR MANAGERS NUMBER BLAH BLAHโ. Thatโs when I realized fuck... I probably should have worded that more delicately.
Lucky for me, my manager backed me up and the dude left angry with his half filled vans.
African American with dreads comes into the store asking if we sold any papers, and I tell him no. As he turns to leave, he goes "wait yeah you do, right here" as he points to the news rack. He was not looking for rolling papers.
I had a customer 5 years ago say that WiFi gave his wife brain cancer, and he wanted the modem relocated to the living room 1wall over. When I asked if he wanted the WiFi turned off, he said no and I laughed out loud until I saw his very serious expression. Tried to explain how WiFi is literally everywhere, and moving the modem one wall over wonโt do anything.
But thatโs what his brain surgeon said, and he believes her over a simple minded blue collar. Whatever. Did my job and billed him.
I had another customer recently that blamed her kids autism on the WiFi. So she keeps the modem unplugged, and plugs it in when she needs the internet. Well the power supply got fried from plugging and unplugging it so often one day. Tried to explain how disconnecting her modem wonโt get rid of her neighbors WiFi signals and she gave me a very horrified look.
Wils82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a groundskeeper at a renowned private school. There's one area kids are not allowed to go under any circumstance and is guarded heavily by a dog unit. One time three posh nosy kids keep pestering me about what's inside, I tried telling them to piss off but but I ended up blurting out that what's inside is strictly between professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel
I worked in a gas station for a while and it gets pretty hectic, anyway I like to be nice to people a lot so Iโll always say hello when someone comes in. However usually Iโm ringing up a customer, so occasionally when Iโd hear the door bell and someone come in, Iโd yell at them โDO YOU WANT YOUR RECEIPT?โ Meaning it for the person Iโm ringing up.
Very embarrassing, and it happened a couple times.
A customer was complaining that our price on something was higher than our competitor across town. Wouldn't stop complaining about it. I got frustrated and gave her directions to get to our competitor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We went to a March For Our Lives rally last weekend. There was a girl near us in a wheelchair. My wife loudly exclaims that it is so good to see young people stand up for what they believe in. I was uncomfortable.
As a meat cutter, I had a woman tell me she wanted the best cut of beef, because anytime she buys another cut of beef it's always tough... then I suggested that she maybe just sucks at cooking.
A guy was asking for help finding something that was in our DIY aisle. Instead of showing him where it was or saying "the DIY aisle. I said, "its over there in the um, Do-it-yourself aisle sir" in a super rude way (idk where the tone came from and it just sounded really rude, the second I said it I was terrified he was gonna get mad and start screaming at me). I cringe thinking about it and I'm so glad I didnt lose my job. Stuff like that has happened so many times now and I always feel so bad, I really do love customer service but I'm so bad at interacting with customers sometimes.
Me โYour coupon expiredโ
Customer โ let me talk to your managerโ
Me โ well I donโt got time for this and neither do they. you can walk over there and wait in line at customer serviceโ
I didnโt regret too much , but got chewed out for it
Worked in a flea market selling produce for awhile. Our spot was right beside some sliding glass doors. A guy walked up, the doors opened, backed up, they closed. He then turned, looked at me, pointed to the glass (as in see-through) doors which he just opened and asked "Are these the doors to go outside?"
I replied "Nope, that's the women's restroom".
His face was priceless. He got pissed and just started screaming. I really didn't regret saying it, just wish I didn't have to hear the screaming fit.
Not mine, but the other day my mom was ezplaining to a black customer that they didnt have any pants to fit his son. He started explaining how ever since his wife died, all his son did was eat and he didnt know how to stop him. My mom suggested that he needs to crack the whip
I thought a customer jokingly said that he was illiterate, so I laughed. He actually said that he is a widower. I don't know, man. The music was loud. He was cool about it.
chenjd2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at best buy we would get secret shoppers. They would come in and ask a lot of questions, but not actually buy anything. There was this one time a guy came in and was absolutely obvious that he was an secret shopper since he asked more questions about customer service than the actual product. But he was so focused on mentally checking off the questions he needed to ask that I was getting frustrated with him actually paying attention to anything I said. So when I asked him a question and he just stared at me blankly and went back asking me questions, I blurted out "It's like I'm talking to a monkey". I got written up when the report came back a few weeks later.
I asked to see a womanโs photo ID (wording I specifically use to prevent other โoopsโ moments) to check against her card (not signed) and she went on this annoyed/angry rant about how she had to get finger-printed and have a background check for her job and somehow she ended up telling me that in our state apparently pole dancers and such needed licenses to do their work? She asked in pure annoyance and anger โwhat kind of test do those sluts have to take to get a stripper license!?โ
Before I could stop myself I blurted out โWell, if they fall off the pole they probably fail.โ
Another time I told a very sweet little old lady that โThe reader just wants you to be absolutely sure you know what youโre spending.โ Normal enough since itโs good to verify the total on screen is the same the cashier gave aloud. She nods and looks at the screen before asking me if anything is absolute in a friendly lighthearted manner.
I'm a manager at a grocery store and it was a particularly slow day. I sent some help home to help with production. So I was bagging on a register to fill in for someone I sent home. The cashier and I decided to play a game where we'd tape our fingers together and make a "claw" out of our hands. We couldn't pick up anything without using our claw.
Fast forward about an hour and the cashier motions to me to cut it out. I think nothing of it because hey, I'm a manager who's going get me in trouble? After bagging half of the customer's order, I look up at the customer to greet him. He is glaring at me. I thought it was odd until I looked down and saw he had a prosthetic arm with a claw for a hand. Never before have I felt such a feeling of deep embarrassment. He didn't say anything nor did I. And you better believe I finished bagging his groceries while using my claws. Safe to say we have never played the claw game again. The customer still comes in weekly. I avoid him at all costs.
An older gentleman said that I wasn't qualified to be a bus boy. I said to him "I think I do just fine sir" he tells me to stfu, I get in his face and tell him "say that shit one more time". I was fired the next week
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Time to do the turntables! The customer said the thing to me!
So I work for an IT company and I was delivering/setting up some equipment to a client. I hand off some boxes to my client, then she makes a very sour face and says "Eww, dont do that!". Confused, I ask "do what?". She then says "that, its gross. People in my office do it all the time and I hate it". Still confused I ask again, "do what???". She says "That think with your hands, the popping noises"
I look down at my hands and im stretching out/cracking my figures (they get stiff, feels good to stretch them). Then, attempting to be polite, I just say "O, sorry about that". THEN she goes on a mini-rant about how weird it is to do that, laughing hysterically, talking about how its like "pulling the bones off my hand", all while laughing at me.
Im compleatly straight-faced (not amused at her making fun of me) and just say "ok". Then half-way into her laughing spree, it tunes into an awkward laugh and says "haha...h...aaaaaand im just now realizing your not laughing with me". I then say "Ya, now tell me where to set up this equipment"
99213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every so often, I'll accidentally say something "So if you wanna just walk over here when you're done" to a wheelchair bound person, or "I'm going to lift your feet" when adjusting the chair to a person with BKAs. Luckily I wasn't the one to say "can you give me a hand with this" to a patient with a hand amputation.
Delivered a pizza to a women at night. She says โstaying in tonight to eat with my son.โ I mean to say, โ couldnโt get any better right? but what comes out is โcouldnโt do any better right?โ She immediately says โ ohhh i could do betterโ stand in awkward as she signs the receipt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Greek place that sold these platters. The platters consisted of a meat on a bed of rice, with grilled vegetables, pita bread and a side of the white cucumber sauce. We would always get college kids in and we had a college guy order one. I went to check on everything and see how everything was going and he is looking a fork around on his plate. "How am I supposed to eat this?
"With your mouth." noooo
Eruption of laughter from his table. I then explained that usually customers put a bit of each on the pita or mix all of it together.
6 years ago I was working at a photo studio and I had to call a lady to confirm an appointment... It was around this time that I started doing my YouTube gaming channel. Well I called the lady and left generic message "we're just calling to confirm your appointment..." but instead of saying something like "give us a call back" or "thank you, have a nice day" I said... "thanks for watchi-" I stumbled my words and hung up.. She never came in for her appointment.
IDAIKT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once mixed up the questions "Do you have a job at the moment, paid or unpaid" and "do you have a partner... (long explanation of how partner was defined)" and asked "do you have a partner at the moment, paid or unpaid"
Due to safety, i have to be on call on alternating holidays. I also have to work x-mas eve, memorial day, labor day, etc. Customers love to ask "oh my, they make you work Christmas Eve?" All innocent like.
I once replied "nope, inconsiderate people who schedule non-critical appointments on Christmas Eve make me work Christmas Eve...." with a big smile.
Nothing came of it, noone knows what to think if you smile sweetly.
I was working at a CD store at a rich suburban mall in the early 90's. I had long hair so it really was my only part-time job option. Anyway, this lady and her kid comes in and asks to see some Beatles CD's. I walk them over to the area and ask if there was a particular album she was looking for. She said not really she was looking for a greatest hits kind of thing. I pulled out the famous Blue and Red albums and said that these were the best ones to choose from and that she could choose between the Beatles not on drugs or on drugs. She was visibly taken aback and sternly told me that it was not appropriate to talk about that in front of her kid. I apologized profusely and offered to introduce her to my manager if she wanted to make a formal complaint. (My manager was a good friend of mine and I figured he would ream me out a bit in front of her but wouldn't fire me or anything.) She relaxed a lot when I offered this and said it wasn't necessary. I apologized again and told her where the rival CD store was in the mall and that I was sure they would have the CD she wanted there if she preferred giving them her business. She bought the CD from me and smiled while she did it. I think she appreciated that I directly addressed her issue and made no effort to excuse myself. I knew my job was safe but if the DM (mega-bitch) had been there it would not have been.
IAIRonI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a customer how they were doing today and they ignored me and proceeded to order. Without hesitation I said in a loud voice im doing fine thank you for asking. Rest of the transaction was awkward for him.
I am a police officer. Years ago, I was responding to a minor traffic accident with no injuries. As Iโm arriving another officer said something on the radio that made me laugh (unrelated to the call I was responding to). As I got out of my car I was still laughing. I realized a police officer laughing at the scene of a wreck was inappropriate, so I apologized to the two drivers. After I explained why, one driver said it was okay, but the other driver appeared unhappy, but she didnโt comment about it.
The next day my supervisor called me into his office and said the lady complained. He was mad, and told me to go to her place of work and apologize.
She worked a car dealership in town. When I arrived the receptionist said all the employees were in a meeting, but for me to go on in. When I entered the room there was about 15 people sitting at a table, to include the lady I was there to see. The owner of the dealership was laughing, and said โI guess you are the laughing copโ- which made everyone else laugh.
I the humbly apologized to the driver. After I finished, a co-worker said very loudly to me โitโs okay, she is a Bitch to everyone โ.
I laughed and walked out.
"Is there anything else I can be of assistance with today?"
Atibana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Cheescake factory, was supposed to say "Hot cheese and artichoke dip" instead said "Hot cheese and artichoke DICK". Really leaned into the dick, no hiding it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working front desk at an inn, a couple was staying in the only room we have that has another room above it. Upstairs folks were celebrating after a wedddng rehearsal dinner, but they weren't particularly noisy enough that I would interfere. It was just family having a nightcap pretty much. Downstairs the woman was 9 months pregnant and had a migraine. Complained about the noise. I would have happily offered her a quieter room, but we were full that night. I slipped and mentioned that their room happened to be the least expensive one because of its location, and she flipped. I did ask the folks upstairs to be mindful and respectful, but a few days later I got a scathing review from the pregnant woman saying that what I told her was totally unprofessional and that because they have the least expensive room that they deservedly subject to noise.
At the place I worked at as a cashier, I was required to ask for ID for every type of alcoholic purchase and there was this one day where an ancient old lady was purchasing a beer with her meal and when I asked for her ID she clearly looked salty and so I said: โIโm sorry miss but I donโt think you look a day over 21 years old!โ
The only smiled and laughter were from the people around who had heard what I said and saw no absolutely no positive emotion from the lady. Didnโt feel so great after that one.
I was working at a merch table and a large man asked if we had any medium sized hoodies. We were trying to get rid of the current merch and only has XXL. I told him that was all we had and he said, โnah.โ Iโm still embarrassed that I said, โWHY?!โ He said it was for his girl and I (still) feel like the biggest asshole.
While working in a meat dept. at a grocery store. A lady asked me where the hot Italian sausage was. I told her she was looking at it, she then started to get very upset.. but legitimately the hot Italian sausage was on the counter right in front of her.
She reported me to the manager and I still got in trouble.. so worth it though
I was working at the dollar store at the time, and about a week after I started, a few teenagers came in and bought some candles and party-related items. I asked, "Are you having a party?" She says, "no, I'm going to a candle lighting." I'm like, oh shit. Uhhh say something you dumbass. So I said out of nowhere "so it is a party?" My heart dropped. I could feel my soul drain out of me as my eyes rolled back in my head. They gave me a look and left. May we never meet again.
In my teens i worked at a McDonald's in the Netherlands. One summerday a bus of British tourists came by. One of them just ordered a bottle of water, and it was customary for us to ask if they wanted a straw with that. But somehow i had a total brainfart in the translation section and asked her: "Do you want a stroke with that?"
It took a second before i realised what i had said and all i could think was why she gave me that look like i could drop dead.
Keanu_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a fur tannery, and we got a lot of customers from Alaska. Can't remember there leadup,I had been shooting the breeze with your customer for a while, but my line was something about Alaska being a frozen wasteland and no one really wanting to live there. Not my brightest moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHope your day is as pleasant as you areโ
Dave41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked tech support for a company that owns several hotel chains.
Had one general manager call up to load new rates in her system...now she had called and spoke to me 8 times in the last month for the exact same request. So me figuring she should know how to do this, tells her to go to rates menu...she replies with you are tech support you need to tell me how to do this. Under my breath i mutter "idiot" to which she says what did you say..i of course tell her i said nothing. Showed her how to do her job yet again, guy next me gets a call a few minutes later that is a supervisor call right away, I asked what happened and he just pointed at me...got written up..oh well no regrets she was an idiot.
Work in a casino and had a regular who always had a bad attitude and was always "down" as soon as he walked through the door sit at my table one night. The game was Texas Hold'em Bonus, so like Hold'em but against the casino and focused around a bonus game.
After about three hours of him whining and calling a a terrible dealer and telling me I suck, i had finally had enough. The next hand he lost he looked up at me with an angry face and said "you fucking suck", i calmly looked him in the eye and said "how do I suck, i'm the one winning?"
He hasn't sat at my table since, this was over a year ago.
One of my coworkers mopped the floor and didnโt put a wet floor sign up. But what he didnโt know was that the regional manager for the company came in that day and yelled at him for not wet floor sign after almost slipping. He said โmaybe you should just be more carefulโ
Aperzus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It happened to me when I was working at Macdonald, you know student job.
We were almost going to close the restaurant but a last customer wanted to take an order. For the story I need to give you some details about her : she was an overweight woman, she couldnโt stop said โmmmh all this burgersโ or sentence like that and she ordered SO MUCH food.
But one moment she stopped and ask me ยซย I dunno what to drink : water or sodaย ? ยป
I was stuck at the counter since 20 min with her and a bit pissed off, losing time to close the restaurant. So I said : ยซย you know, with how you look like and all your order, it not matter so take a sodaย ยป.
At this moment, the time had literally stopped... But she said ยซย oh yes you right! Letโs take a sodaย my boyยป.
My God, my manager couldnโt be mad at me, too busy to laugh.
xiroian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in alarm monitoring. Dealers used to call in while they were on installs to verify account details, and that everything was in working order. One in particular caught me on an off day, sounded like he was calling from inside someone's house in a cell dead zone, so I was getting every third word if I was lucky.
Now I remember I had a history with this one dealer in particular, I talked to him a lot. Shitty attitude on a good day, not a lot of patience.
Had to keep asking him to repeat himself because, for obvious reasons, getting all the info right here is kind of important. He lost his patience and started cursing me out for not listening. Without missing a beat I asked him to "Stop calling me from a basement the middle of nowhere on his fisher-price fucking cellphone."
He paused, I heard him walk upstairs, and we continued the call. From that day forward he greeted me by name any time I got him on the line and we were perfectly cordial to one another.
Worked in womens clothes in a department store. A large lady comes up and asks for the women's section. I asked if she wants women's clothes or 'womens' clothes (while mimeing a big belly). She sighs and says yes, the larger sizes. I still feel bad about potential fat shaming her...
Worked at cellphone retailer/company. Mainly we set up the contracts. I had just finished learning how to explain the contract to customers and was doing my second one I believe. I get to a section where I have to explain that we would help with all of the simple setup or something like that: something that most people know how to do, and it was obvious that this was for the more elderly population who knew nothing of smartphones.
There was a long line and it was busy, so I was trying to race through this contract. For the life of me I don't know why I said it, but: "Don't worry about this part. It's for old people who don't get it." I knew the moment I said it I was done. I saw one of the other employees walk to the back office, while an elderly person in line said: "We're not all dumb ya know!"
I got fired the next day, and when they told me I said: "yyyyep, I'd of fired me too."
I was new and was having a very rough day. Nonstop calls and most were rude. Then some women called and she was super polite and sweet, like a very good person. As I finished the call she thanked me and said I was polite. I was happy for such a nice call in a sea of rudeness and without thinking I said "Thank you, you were very sweet!". It was very awkward haha.
Also I slept and snored on a call once. Dude called me for 45seconds before I woke up. I could have been fired or something but he was super chill about it.
This story is a rather long one, bit context is needed
I used to work front of house for a bar/restaurant, that occasionally got booked for night time events.
We had a Christmas party booking that went on for far too long, I had been working since 6am for the breakfast rush, the party had started at 7pm and it was now nearing 2am the following morning.
There was one table of middle-aged women who were taking their time leaving, and they kept moving and kissing a singing Santa statue we had on display, taking decorations down and otherwise being a nuisance
After asking them politely several times to not touch the decorations, I lost my patience and started packing them away
They moaned and asked why, to which I said "some of these are rather expensive and others are irreplaceable as they were donated by members of the local community, or made by hand by people who have since passed away" (this is true)
After I had finished packing away, one of the women grabbed me by the arm and said "You are, by far, the rudest barman I have ever encountered. We were only having a little fun."
I responded with "having fun doesnt mean you can get away with damaging property, after you were asked politely several times not to touch"
"Hmmph. Well. I have a large family and I can assure you that none of us will ever be coming here again!"
"Honestly? Thank god for that! If they're anything like you then we wouldn't want them here anyway! Maybe our decorations will survive a little longer!"
I regretted it as soon as I had said it, but they soon left and I never had any repercussions thankfully.
That Santa still has lipstick stains, and they detached one of the moving arms from the motors, so now it can't be put on the display for the kids anymore, its such a shame
Reddit likes to bitch about customers but sometimes the servers can be bitches too. I went through BK drive through yesterday and when I got to the order box, a girl responded to me to "please wait". So I did, and waited and waited and then someone came out and told me to pull forward, which put me past the ordering talk spot and in an awkward postion to order. The girl finally came back on and I had to shout my order behind me. It was stupid. She then proceeded to tell me I had backed up so she thought I was gone and that was why she had not taken the order. I had done no such thing and ordered and reminded her she asked me to wait, so I did. She then got all pissy with scolding me about "backing up". I could not have backed up, even if I wanted to as there were cars behind me. She was really bizzarely rude to me. I don't know what was going on there.
shoulda added context, I was calling a candidate to offer a job interview. He was coming the next day but I wasn't gonna be in the office so he ought to ask for one of my colleagues.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer wanted a specific type of soda that was empty on the shelf, so I told cordially told him Iโd check if there was any in the back and he said hed follow and we both happily walked to the door of the back area and he could see through the little window it has. I grabbed one case that I immediately saw and brought it to him. He says โill take literally everything you haveโ so I said okay, went back, and found the single other case of the one he wanted, but it was surrounded by similar looking cases but with completely different flavors, and I tell him โthis is the last one :) here you go sirโ his face immediately goes blank and he gets right up to the window and says โI see one right there.โ With this โfuck youโ tone, and I LOST it.. I flung the door open and said โyouโre welcome to come back here and check yourself man, thats a different flavor!โ With a very โfuck you tooโ tone. He recoiled and talked under his breath and said โsorry I thought that was the same one....โ and walked away.
My hours were cut almost in half the following week... haha
Me: Are you Beetlejuice? Cause I literally just said your name and then you appeared.
Him: Oh? Why were you talking about me?
Me: Oh, nothing bad. I was just telling my co-workers I saw you at the Hardware store on my day off and ducked into an aisle so I wouldn't have to talk to you.
Him: ???
Me: In my defense, I was wearing sweat pants and no makeup and was avoiding everyone... not just you.
iBeFloe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a ma & pa ice cream shop (NOT AS FUN AS YOU WOULD THINK).
This woman comes in during our busy hours when the shop is full of people & when she finally gets to me she says...
with the largest, fakest grin...
โTell your boss he needs to get a line divider & set up another cash register to the side. I donโt even know where the line starts.โ
Mind you...the shop is small. Big enough to have people, too small for a โline dividerโ.
The line is also literally just...a straight line out the door.
I tell her โThat would restrict walking space in the shop & we donโt have enough people to have 2 cashiers running. Not enough people would be in the back scooping.
โWell thatโs something you should tell you boss. I waited 5 minutes.โ
Still making that faking grin expression.
Again, the shop is full & her waiting 5 min isnโt that big of a deal considering that we were packed.
After she FINALLY orders & pays she tells me โYou should listen to your customers. I come all the time :)))โ
I finally just say โWell we donโt really need your bad advice. The door is right there.โ
Her: โIโM NEVER COMING AGAIN. I HOPE YOUโRE HAPPY!!!!!โ
My boss was behind me the entire time giggling because he knew my personality & thought it was funny that I was holding myself back so much lol
The next customer obviously heard everything & felt awkward walking up when he saw that I switched back to my customer service face (aka smiles all day err day).
When I use to be a cashier some woman asked why the Hershy bars were on sale and without missing a beat I said "because they are infected with botulism" then laughed, she gasped and told my manager and I got fired because I was on thin ice.
Rasxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in car rental and a customer came in to return his vehicle. He had an unlabeled clear plastic container filled with assorted nuts with him. During the return he asked me if I wanted to have them as he did not want them anymore. I immediately replied, "Sorry Sir, My mom told me to never take a stranger's nuts" My manager was at the counter as well and went, "really man???!?" I'm really glad he took the joke well.
Fharo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking with a client on a billing that I had sent them and told them we had an office bet that she would call and say the numbers didn't match. She had this terrible habit of re-entering my billing into her own excel spreadsheet and then claiming mine was wrong. Problem is she didn't have a clue how to use excel and I would inevitably waste an hour explaining how to correctly use formulas. This happened every month for over a year.
She had her MBA and was the executive VP at a large bank...
I use to work in a bar. One super busy friday night I was alone on the bar for an hour or so. There was this one guy that was just waving his money at me for ages (I knew where his place was in the queue so I continued serving others.) As I passed him going down the bar I lent in and asked him to stop waving money at me like I was a stripper (probably not as politely as I could have). I then went to serve the woman a few people down from him.... it was his wife.... she asked to see the manager.
Not to a customer but to a kid that kept hitting and trying to steal things. I meant to say โHey man please stop it or Iโll have to tell your mom.โ But I really said โ Stop or youโll never see your family again.โ
It worked...
My first job as a veterinarian, about a month into it. A little old lady who looked like she hadn't smiled since the day she was born bustles in with a Jack Russell missing half its fur, and immediately launches into a long, winding story about how she had been to another vet and the dog had been on repeated courses of antibiotics, steroids, and whatnot, without any improvement.
I suspect demodectic mange, caused by Demodex mites. I tell her that the very first thing I need to do is do a skin scraping for the mites. "They did that already at the last vets and found nothing!" She responded.
"Yes, but you have to do a lot of scrapings, because if you do just one, you will likely not see the mites. And sometimes even after multiple scrapings you don't see them, but they are still there."
"And that's supposed to convince me to do it?!" she responded.
My mouth went on autopilot as I was typing notes on the computer.
"Well that's why they are probably called mites. Because you might see them, or you might not."
I froze, then turned to the sight of a cold, hard stare of disbelief from the elderly client that a veterinarian was making puns at the expense of her poor dog. I smiled. She humphed, consented to the skin scraping, and on the fourth scrape I found the little bastards, started the dog on treatment, and within a month its fur had regrown.
From then on she routinely requested me for consultation for the duration of the three years I worked at the practice. Seems no-one dared to make jokes around her thanks to her stern countenance, so I think she was quietly happy that someone wasn't afraid of her.
I owned an ice cream shop and it was really busy, and I was really tired, but i was trying to keep morale up so when a customer asked me if I had crushed nuts I just answered with the first thing that popped into my head - "Yeah, but it's a personal problem and I don't really like to talk about it."
It was like a moment in a movie where everything stops and went quiet and all heads turned towards me. I hadn't realized how loud I said it. I didn't think it would be heard over all the noise. Then everybody laughed and my employees rolled their eyes.
One of them had a Twitter account back then called "Shit my boss says," and she would often pull out her phone and send off a tweet in the middle of a conversation and I would ask if she just tweeted what I said and she'd nod.
At Papa John's and I was complaining about the thin crust pizza being essentially a cracker. A little while later a well done thin comes out and I say "see, look at this cracker." Then I look up and there's a white lady in the lobby staring at me.
When I was first working at a convenience store that sold liquor, I was still getting used to judging people on how old they are and whether or not I should ask for their ID.
I made the mistake of asking someone for their ID and he told me that he was old enough to be my father. He was about fifty and I'm in my mid-twenties so I could believe it, but then I said:
"Oh, are you seventy? Because that is how old my dad is."
He just showed me his ID and I told him to have a nice day. My manager was right there so I thought I would get reprimanded, but she about died laughing when he left.
A customer was digging into one of my coworkers real bad. The customer asked to talk to her supervisor, so the coworker came and grabbed me. The customer then said (loud enough for the coworker to hear) that she had a bad attitude. The coworker decided it best to walk back over and tell the customer that she was the one with the bad attitude. The customer and I were both in shock. The customer said that was totally unacceptable and asked what I was going to do about it. All I could think of to say was, "I'm sorry you feel that way," over and over again. My manager wasn't happy.
Little late to the party but, I work at a golf course and I do this stuff every day. Best one was an Asian couple came into the shop to pay for their round. And like almost every asain group that comes to play golf they want a discount, when I tell them their total they start to haggle with me, I was beyond annoyed and just straight up told them "mam this is not a fish market I have set prices not up for haggling"
Had a friend working at a best buy hungover, guy comes over and ask for help to find a CD on the other side of the store. Friend begins walking with him and the guy tries to be friendly:
Guy: "So what kind of music do you like?"
Friend (without thinking): "I don't like music"
Stone silence after that, guy apperently meets one person on earth who doesn't like any type of music. My friend realized how harsh that was a few minutes later but I found it hilarious.
Lady had us come out to clean out a dryer vent (yes, for those unaware, you should have those checked every year or two). After having called us out for the work, she spent 15 minutes telling us how our service wouldn't be good enough based on how simple the process sounded, and essentially accused us of lying to her and basically scam her. HVAC and duct type work does have its fair share of scammers, so I suppose that's understandable, but I knew that we did good work. She probably just read some stuff online and thought she understood everything about the process already, so was trying to call us out. I told her I'd take care of it anyways since we were out there, if she was comfortable with it, and grabbed my equipment to route the duct from outside.
I don't remember what it was, but she said something that really struck a nerve as I walked out of the house, and while it wasn't so much what I said and more so what I did, I ended up spiking my routers to the ground as hard as I could. I could just faintly hear her inside still going at it, this time more deservedly so, with an, "Oh yeah, that'll make everything better."
I immediately knew I was being extremely unprofessional, to say the least. I was so angry, but also embarrassed. I still cleaned the duct haha, and went inside to sincerely apologize. Not for doing a bad job, but for my behavior, and I made that clear. She seemed to calm down a bit, but took on a lecturing tone like, "How do you think it makes me feel when you show up and lie to me" kind of shit. Head so far up her ass... but that doesn't excuse me throwing a tantrum. I was in my early 20s at the time and had dealt with a few difficult customers, but none so willing to attack me on a moral and personal level. I know this customer sounds like a cake walk for most people in customer service, but I never really developed thick skin, so I ended up driving back with tears running down my face. Luckily boss man was understanding. Worked the job for a few more years, but even then, I think that was really the only incident that got to me.
Edit: TLDR I got mad and threw my stuff on the ground, and then drove away while crying
I had just restocked my coolers with beer while I was bartending out at the pool at the club I work at. Someone asked for a Stella and I warned it might not be up to temp since I just put it on ice. He said he'd take it anyways.
So he grabs the beer and orders a burger from the grill next to the bar and sits down with his burger and his group of friends he just finished golfing with. He takes a few bites of his burger and right within ear shot of the grill cooks says "well looks likes it's warm beers and shitty burgers today". The look of dejection on the grill cooks face made my heart break, which immediately turned to anger at this dude. The grill cook is just this 18 year old kid that put a lot of effort into his burgers, making Burgers of the day, created his own special sauce, he loved the job.
So someone else who has ordered a burger flagged me down to bring him a beer so I walk over and say in a way over the top cheery servers voice "Here's your ice cold beer and I'm sure that burger is gonna be dang delicious" I turned to walk away and there was a split second of silence where my job flashed before my eyes. Then a burst of laughter came from all of the guys friends because apparently he's a notorious curmudgeon and they love seeing him being put in his place.
Freadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a restaurant with an open line, the final prep/cooking area could be seen by most of the tables, and a good chunk of people went past our counter when going to their seats. It's not uncommon to have customers try to interact with us, usually we're busy. One night, during a busy service, one guy was going to his seat walking with the owner and stopped and said "What's good on the menu tonight?"
I blurted out "Everything's good, we don't serve bad food here." He chuckled, the owner glared, and the other cooks busted up laughing as well. The owner later said that they appreciate the positive attitude, but I should be more careful with how I talk to customers.
1: i was carving prime rib for a wedding party and the bride comes up to the table. Gorgeous white dress, jist all done up, very beautiful! She proceeds to ask for a thicker slice so im like ok cool i got ya.
I cut her this monster of a piece that she wanted and as im delivering it to her plate it slips berween the fork and my knife and flops down onto the plate splattering juice all over her wedding dress. I look at her and say
"holy fuck im so sorry you look like complete shit im so sorry"
She looks at me, then at the 6 or so year old kid next to her in horror and storms off! The nerve of her! Jk lol
2: working at a walmart some years ago and this girl comes in at 3 am looking for a new computer with a webcam. Clearly tell she was a camgirl and so i help her out. She then goes on to say she needed something else but couldnt remember what and for some reason i just replied
"condoms are on isle x over in health and beauty and lube is on the same isle, pregnancy test are on isle y and if you need anything else we dont have them but im off at 7am"
This thread is super full already, but here is my waiting tables fuck up:
I was working at a hot, new farm-to-table restaurant with an annoyingly complex menu. I would always start off with explaining the size and types of plates we have, what you should share, etc.
I often bounce between "Allow me to take me through a "quick" or a "brief" tour of the menu".
Except for this time, I was serving my first large party of a dozen or so people in a quiet private room, and stumbled and said: "Allow me to queef through the menu with you all".
Someone called my coffee shop asking what time we close at and without thinking I instantly responded โour hours are on the exact same website you found our phone number onโ.
Iโve never accidentally spoken like that to someone and luckily they didnโt file a complaint.
I worked at a yacht club when I was 16-17. It was a member place so the same people came around a bunch. One guy started to come without his wife and kids
Coworker: โhey bob howโs it going. Havenโt seen the wife around here much where is she at?โ
working at a pizza place, girl i worked with had been warned a bunch of times for trying to wear leggings for work. at one point she starts small talking with a customer about liking the design on her leggings, and makes a comment about wishing they could wear leggings, and i said "me too" and got a blank stare, and then i folliowed it up with "what, you think guys dont want to be comfy too? i hate these damn khaki's" and they both laughed about it, but i quickly realized they had thought i meant that i wish they would be wearing leggings. manager pulls me aside shortly after to scold me about it and i explained how there was nothing sexual about it, but they just kept repeating the same dumb lines over and over again about making sure women feel comfortable so i just left and quit because it bothered me so much the way it was handled. learned i have to stop being a human being to get along in the work place so now i just dont ever joke around.
Okay, this is the opposite. Don't say this to your cashier moment.
I had one lady come in and i said hi welcome to ___. and she was like wow you sound so enthusiastic (sarcasm). i joked and said i was tired. she went off on me saying i shouldnt be tired (Im a senior in high school; wake up at 5:30 am and then go home get dressed and usually work until 9 sometimes 10 pm.) Then my general manager walked and she told him i was complaining i was tired to her!! I was like wHAT I WAS KIDDING
Then she goes on to say that until Im a parent with a full time job i have no right to be tired. I was like oh well i understand that i have a single mom and raise my sister. she had the audacity to say (IN FRONT OF HER CHILD) said that at least my mom's ex husband isn't a trans.
I literally was like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh and the kid freaked out screaming mom she didn't need to know that!!
The lady was crazy and rude that evening and i just was in shock.
"Yeah, to be honest, we provide a service nobody really needs. You could easily do everything we do for a fraction of the cost, but people don't want to deal with that so they pay us to do it for them."
I really liked the guy so I just gave it to him straight. He worked for a corporate structure so he didn't care lol
I politely asked a woman to step back from the counter slightly until I was done with the customer ahead of her. I knew I'd fucked up as soon as the words left my mouth. I've never seen someone's face change that fast. It was like the mayor in Nightmare Before Christmas.
EMS. The patient was the customer.
I was helping a little old, sassy lady. When we got outside to the ambulance, she pointed at a statue of an Angel and said "that's me". I promptly followed with "not yet" (._.
It was when I was a cashier at CVS. I was really tired one shift, and as a middle aged man was done purchasing detergent I handed him his receipt and I said "Bye, love you"
I was working at a restaurant and taking a to go order over the phone. The customer was using this service where they type something and the operator speaks for them. I was repeating their order back to them and stumbled on a word, I said "sorry, I guess I can't talk today"
There was 10 seconds of silence then the operator says under her breath "Jesus, dude".
I said a quick sorry, told them the order would be ready in 15 minutes and made somebody else handle it when they picked it up.
I was working at a hotel on evening shift, 4 construction workers come in at about 10pm and I was sold out except for a few reservations. I didn't have anything booked for them but I searched for anything in the future or past thinking it may have been a mistake. The biggest and ugliest of them gets super heated at me and starts yelling everything along the lines of "you better find something" and "we're staying here no matter what". After 15 minutes of searching I suggest they're at the wrong hotel. Before I can offer to call around and find the correct place, he bangs his fists on the desk and says " well you better come out and start building us some f**king rooms", leaning over as much into my face as possible. I drop what I'm doing, pat my hips like I'm confused, and calmly say "well I would but I seem to have forgotten my tool belt this evening". He sees red, his co-workers pull him over and make him sit down. He fake laughs at me and just starts mocking me from a distance. Like a 6 yr old. They were at the wrong place. He complained on me but my boss watched the tapes and said I handled it well considering he was twice my size and in my face.
one of our patients was wearing a Vietnam cap, so in order to make small talk while checking him out after his visit with the doctor, I said "so what was the best thing about Vietnam?" yea... the cringe is too real with that one. I was mortified when I realized what words left my mouth.
I used to work for a company that produced telematic monitoring devices for fleet vehicles.
After spending 20 minutes or so troubleshooting this device I determined that it was likely broken and needed to be replaced. (Not uncommon at all, a lot of fleet vehicles are a toxic wasteland and the drivers are not invested in keeping their nanny boxes in working order.)
"It was working yesterday" they replied.
"Yeah well that's the definition of something breaking isn't it?" I responded before I could stop myself.
I then spent 15 minutes getting a stern talking to for being an asshole.
elemjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I may have shared this one ages ago on a TIFU.
Iโve worked in I.T. for a while, and this is a tale from a company I no longer work for. I was the lead on this particular deployment project where a customer was changing out network equipment and internet circuits to my companyโs new managed services. We would work with a field tech who would set up equipment, get the go-ahead from the site to change them over to the new service, test, and make sure all was working properly.
This required my team to interface with one of the customerโs engineers for them to complete changes on their side for the migration to the new managed service. I got along pretty well with the engineer. He was a little crude and crass at times, but nothing I was offended by. His preferred method of communication was IM, given that he was on the phone often, and it was quicker than email. I created a disposable IM username to accommodate that - no problem.
One of my colleagues is running a little long on one siteโs install because the field tech ran into some challenges on site. Itโs coming up on the end of the business day. The customer engineer sends me an IM:
โTell [co-worker] to hurry the hell up. Itโs beer-thirty, and heโs beer-blocking me.โ
I know he is mostly joking, though not about wanting to leave. I did want to tell him to calm his ass down, but I knew that might not have gone over well. My response still wasnโt the most professional one, but for some reason, I felt compelled to respond in a similar manner.
โHeโs working on it. Keep your hair on.โ
Right as I was hitting Enter on that, I immediately regretted it. My former company is based multiple states away from where the customer is headquartered, so in-person interaction with our customers was extremely rare. I had never met the customerโs engineer. One of my other colleagues would cut-up on the phone with the engineer from time to time, and probably knew him a little bit better than I did. One fact that my colleague mentioned in passing about this engineer all of a sudden came rushing to the forefront of my mind.
The engineer is bald.
And whatโs my next response in my immediate realization?
โOh wait...โ
He gives me a response of, โOh, ha ha.โ
My emotional state? Some weird swirl of uncontrollable amusement, horrified embarrassment, and guilt. Not only did I accidentally make a crack about this guyโs appearance, it now looks like I made a bitchy, high-school Mean Girl-style follow-up remark. What if this guy was one of those guys who is sensitive about being bald? Or if it was something medical?
I then followed it up with a wall of text IM, apologizing profusely, and stating that I only meant that as an expression. I am very fortunate that the engineer did not take offense and relay this to my companyโs management. I did eventually tell my boss about it a while after the fact, but at the time it was one of those moments where my career flashed before my eyes.
When I was in high school a dude told me that his friend working at Taco Bell had a customer say to him "if my balls were on your chin, where would that put my dick? ". The guy did not say amything so as to not get fired.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a shame that it isn't socially acceptable that when a customer is being an asshole that the customer service rep/waiter/waitress/support/clerk/cashier or whoever will not be reprimanded for rightfully dishing it back. I hate having to kiss-ass to rude disrespectful people.
I was working at a portrait studio and had a mother, her newborn baby and the babies grandmother in for a three generation shoot. These people looked like they just came from a carnival or something. The grandmother that was probably in her late 50s had on a sparkly gold skin tight lycra dress that showed off all of her fat rolls with matching eye makeup and eyebrows that were drawn on at various heights as well. Her daughter that just had the baby had a halter top on that showed off all of her pregnancy stretch marks. It must have been her idea to have the pictures taken because the grandmother says "I don't know why you dragged me down here. Nobody wants pictures of our ugly mugs" Without thinking I replied "at least the baby is cute" Either they didn't hear me, thought I was joking or just agreed with me because they bought a large portrait package. As soon as they left I did call my DM in case they called and complained.
Circuit City
When things were starting to tank one of our saviors were the extra protection (go figure) and managers were pushing it HARD. My direct manager was teaching how to sell and the big thing for our customer support was that it was all based in America so when a customer was asking what, if any, advantages did City Advantage have I said
"All of our call centers are based in America, so you don't have to speak to anyone in India or another country."
She just gave me a "hmm" and thanked me for my time. Got called in 2 days later by the store manager and he asked me about it and I was pretty proud of following the script we were given and nodding my head like an idiot when he told me the woman's husband was Indian. I was pretty mortified but I let him know that's what we were asked to say verbatim and I'd need some real reasons as to why it was actually better than other services and he just kind of put his head down. Thinking back, that was the beginning of the end.
A guest sought me out to argue about one of our policies. He was 'fairly' calm but spoke in a way that he riled himself up, increasing in speed, volume and aggression. I had to repeatedly pull him back down to normal, which wasn't hard but it kept repeating. I think I dropped something in the conversation along the lines of 'common sense,' and we completely derailed from there.
I'm an optician. A woman came in trying to get her teenaged sons glasses fixed. He had broken the arm off and it was a Ray-Ban that we can't just order. I let her know they're under warranty but I might not be able to get the same frame. She goes,"oh, he will be so upset if he doesn't get his frame."
So I replied, "well when he starts getting upset just remind him its his fault."
She stared at me like a shat on her son's glasses.
Many years ago. A customer had me look up his account in our database. His first name was "Finn", which in my language can be directly translated to "Find", as in "Find this guy". So he said "Finn <lastname>" - to which i replied with a stupid look "What if I can't find <lastname>?".
Years ago I was helping an older lady out to her car, she had some groceries and a few bags of dog food. Anyway she drove this boat of a car, a Crown Victoria. So she pops the trunk and the first thing out of my mouth is "Wow! You could fit like 12 bodies in this trunk!" Needless to say she looked mortified. So I pause for a moment and said "or a whole bunch of dog food!"
I start a lot of IVs in one day.10-15. 32 years of practice. Patient tells me, "YOU GET ONE CHANCE, THIS VEIN RIGHT HERE, DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY OTHER VEIN ANYWHERE, NOBODY CAN FIND MY VEINS, MY VEINS COLLAPSE!"
I asked, " Before I begin, can you imagine any other constraints you can place on how I practice my profession?"
she didn't like it.
I work in a public library. We don't let people use our phones unless it's a medical emergency or a small child alone with no parents who needs a ride home. This has been our policy for YEARS.
Some guy calls me while I am at the desk and asks why we wouldn't let his wife use the phone for something when we let him use the phone all the time. He claims he has used our corded phone while also using the express computer that is about 30 feet away which is impossible because the cord won't stretch that far. I tell him as much but accidentally say it was 30 yards away instead of feet.
He immediately starts going off that I'm a liar, and he's a contractor and he knows it isn't that distance, and that I'm full of shit, and I'm an awful person and etc. etc. I had to just hang up on the guy.
It was not actually a customer but a patient. I was in my teens and I worked as an assistant at the doctor's office. So there was an old man who came regulary and he always brought me a few candies because I was nice to him (talkative, understanding,...). And I was really thankful because it was a nice gesture. So I wanted to be nice and said ''You always satisfy my...(Oh shit where is this going)...sweet needs''. I just stopped in the middle of the sentence when I realised what I am going to say but it was to late and I said it anyways. I just didn't express myself right (it sounds really naughty in my language but it's not any better in english). So I was a little bit embarassed and just hoped he wouldn't get it wrong :D
An older lady came to my checkstand and while she was paying for her groceries asked me to put her bags in her cart. I started moving them into the cart, and she started talking about how her knees had gotten bad and so she wasnโt able to lift her own groceries.
She then said โwhen you get to my age, youโll have these issues tooโ
I replied with something to the effect of โI hope soโ insinuating that I survive long enough to be as old as she was.
Final21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working valet at a hotel. We had an event with sewing and shit and there were tons of old women there just sewing like crazy. Two older women (50-60ish) come up and I immediately pointed them to the ballroom with all of the sewing. The one was taken aback and said "we're here for drinks." I immediately apologized and said "Sorry I thought you were one of these older ladies." Oh man. I had to apologize again. The other lady thought it was kind of funny though.
Oh absolutely.
99% of the time I'm pretty chill with my clients. But something about the fact that she called me, and then complained about not having time to fix her issue just triggered my 1% asshole response.
"Do you have loyalty card?"
"No ma'am I don't but I'm assuming you do and I can swipe them with your purchase for you?"
emu404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a customer who had a faulty product and we sent him just the faulty part. I guess it took over a month and that was faulty as well so I said I could send him the whole item and he can just pick up whatever part he needed and we could do that in 2 days.
He asked me why we didn't just do that in the first place and he sounded reasonable and was just curious about why and I said because it's cheaper. The guy just threw a tantrum over the phone telling us he's going to turn up at our offices and smash the product up in front of us and demand a refund.
I learned to talk bullshit when asked a question from then on.
I used to get super stoned before going to work at this local bakery. Some older guy walked in and asked "Are these baked fresh?" and I replied, "Yeah, I pulled them out of the freezer this morning"
Hutchsj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its not really bad or anything, but it could have come across as being a bit of a b*itch. Anyways this was when I was working retail. It was closing and these customers came in with like less than 10 minutes to go. We had already started closing procedures aka closing two out of the three tills we have at the front, a clear sign we are closing but nope not to them. I inform them that we are closing in 10 and if they wish to make a purchase they will need to do it soon. Yeah they just wandered around and my manager just took the last tills cash and told me to kick them out...but nicely.
So at that point I tell them we are closed, they say they are still looking and will be just a bit more, to which I say this "Sorry but you can't. The till is closed and so are we, I will put those items by the till so you can purchase them tomorrow. (I grad the two or so jeans they are holding and put them behind the till) And if you will follow me to the door it is time for you to leave." I gently had to guide them out the door because they were walking so slow.
They never came back the next day to buy which wasn't at all surprising considering they didn't even look like they really planned to buy anything, just time wasting really. So glad to be out of retail.
Call center, sales, customer service. I had been on the call with him for almost 40 minutes, and was 15 minutes overdue to go home, but the guy would NOT make up his mind about what he wanted to buy. Thinking the line was muted, I grumbled "This is such a waste of my time!"
I was 18 at a golf course and I had a golf cart blocking one of two walkways when I was washing the golf balls. The man was elder around 65 years old and said "are you going to fucking move it?" I replied "no you can fucking walk around it."
I was young and dumb that didn't appreciate his attitude. I always felt that you should respect everyone, not just your elders, so it really rubbed me the wrong way when he talked ot me like that. I still feel this way, but obviously I wouldn't go about it like this.
I used to work at a mobile phone provider and had a woman call up one day telling me she was trying to call out but it wouldnt connect. After going through the basic questions I asked her what happened when she tried to call whoever it was that she couldnt connect to and she told me it just rang and rang and rang...
after trying to explain to her for several minutes that if she could hear ringing; there was no problem with her service and that maybe they were just not answering she very sarcastically asked "Are you really trying to tell me that a multi million pound company just aren't answering there phones? Do you really think they would do that?" I finally snapped and said "Dunno. Why don't you ring them and ask?". Yeah... that did not go down well
Zorkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working the grill at Burgerville, 19 years old. Wearing a headset with microphone so I can hear the orders that come through the drive-thru. There are two buttons on this headset, "T" and "P". One of them puts you through to the outside speaker, to talk to the customers, the other only talks to the people who are also wearing headsets. Grill workers never press those buttons - we don't talk to customers directly, leave it to the guys working drive-thru.
It's close to closing time, and I've already shut down some of the specialty stations to clean them, anticipating that it's unlikely someone will order those items. A woman comes through and orders something from each specialty stations, ensuring that I'll have to re-clean them all. Bad luck, really. Meanwhile, my co-worker on drive-thru has been using the "private" button to crack jokes all night while customers are ordering. So I decide to crack a joke of my own. Knowing my co-worker will get a kick out of it, I hit the button for private and say, "And by the way, I hate you for ordering so much food."
I work in hospitality as a bartender and I had a couple in at the bar, another couple joins them so the husband asks me for (the paper with words on them - menus), I tell him I think I might have a couple and turn to the big pile of menus clearly visible behind me. As I'm turned away I hear the wife say 'ugh, he's one of those people' as turn back around I look her in the eye as I'm handing menus to her and tell her 'oh, I am very much one of those people'. Husband was super chill, but made it kinda weird with her. Iono, I was having an odd day. But don't come out with the sarcasm if you don't want sarcasm, that's like half my identity.
Told a Mexican woman that one of our best drinks was with coconut and pina, turned around to enter some food (at the bar). Realized we actually were out of coconut and penis drinks, but the coconut and piรฑa is pretty good, so I recommended that. She thought it was funny tho, thank God.
Not quite a customer as I was working at a high-school as a tutor but I think this still fits.. I was driving a pretty crummy 2005 toyota echo with more rust than paint on it that was parked in the staff parking lot. Anyway, it's lunch hour and all the students are in the lot hanging out and this one girl that was always rude to all teachers and would always cause trouble came up to me when I was standing around my car and said "Oh now I know which car is yours, Friend_Chicken.. I'm gonna fuck it up if you ever get me in trouble again." At this point, her whole crew was with her and students were all around. I promptly replied, "If you fuck up my car, I'll fuck up your face...... more than it already is"
The crowd erupted. I knew I messed up as soon as I said it but it was too late. Everyone was jumping and hooting and I couldn't take anything back (not that I would have anyway). I was sure I would be fired the following Monday but to my surprise, nothing came of it ! Though, it seems I had found the respect of many students after that so I guess it's not all bad.
Every time I say โIโll see you laterโ to a blind person.
frazenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I've heard a recording where, the lady was talking to this irrate person, though obviously the person is just mad at the company and he ends up swearing "fck the company", the representative replied "fck you too", and once she realizes her fault she started crying to the more angry customer. Thinking maybe she'll get fired LOL
Guy asked for extra broccoli and cheese and when his food came out with two portions he got mad saying he just wanted a couple more pieces. I dead ass looked at him and said "what did you mean by extra?" I was honestly so confused and done at the time as it was closing time.
Kinda related but I called someone today and they asked how I was, I said "Good, how are you?" and then continued to talk without allowing them to respond, not realizing what I said.
Still cringing about it.
A_Rod84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a friend. We worked in a cinema (fairly rural UK. Not many different ethnicities) and a black guy came and asked for a hot dog, they weren't ready but he said he'd bring it in for him when it was done and asked to see his ticket for seat number. Guy said "I'm the only black guy in there so you should find me easily". Friend replied: "Surely that'll make it harder to find you?". The look of panic on his face afterwards was priceless.
Where I live, we have the main headquarters of Empire Kosher, which is the country's largest producer of Kosher poultry. We all just call it the chicken plant; it doesn't have a name for us locals. lol
Anyway, although most of them actually live in New York, we have a large population of Orthodox Rabbis who are in our area more than they are at home. When I still worked for a local grocery store (one of a smaller grocery store chain) that was very, very near to the chicken plant (less than a mile away), we would ALWAYS have Rabbis in.
One day it was winter time, a little less than a month away from Christmas. Being very small-town, nearly everyone in the area celebrates Christmas, so all day I was giving my customers a "Merry Christmas" as they left my lane. One of the Rabbis comes through my lane, is very polite to me, I am very polite to him, and, as he picks up his bags to leave, I say, out of habit, "Merry Christmas!" The look he gave me was one of anger for just a moment, followed almost immediately by discomfort, because I immediately stuttered out, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking!" I think he ended up just feeling bad for me then, and he just gave me an uncomfortable smile and said, "It's ok," and left a little more hurriedly than he came. I felt dumb at the time, but now I just laugh when I remember it.
TL; DR: Rabbis don't appreciate being wished a Merry Christmas.
A customer once threatened to call the Better Business Bureau after I mentioned that maybe we weren't doing the discount he wanted, and that was why it wasn't showing up on the register.
I responded with "well, I'm only here once a week."
I used to be a host in a restaurant. On a rather busy Wednesday, we had a very large party of 16 come in(that's more than we can fit in the family room) The "gentlemen" asks how long for that many so I explain that I can't give a totally accurate guess, since I don't know when we'd have enough tables free to push together. I say it's probably going to be 20-25 minutes, but that's not a definite.
Anyway, for whatever reason, people weren't leaving from the tables we needed and I could tell that the man was becoming impatient.
35 minutes had gone by, ten minutes longer than quoted and we are finally ready. I offer to take them back and he says "It took you long enough." Before I could hold my tongue, I replied "Perhaps you should consider something called a reservation, next time you bring your family tree to eat."
Needless to say, he was unhappy about that remark and my manager was informed of my behavior. Later, my manager pulled me aside and told me "Nice one, but don't do that again."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did this today. I work in a call center for tv/phone/broadband and had a customer who owed money for a cancelled broadband package from 3years ago. He had been sent to a debt collector.
During our argument we had -
Customer โ I complained to your directors last week and this was sortedโ
Me: โnobody was in your account for the last 14months. It logs everybodyโs ID number. What was your complaint reference for that......โ
And
Me: we sent you multiple letters to inform you
Customer โ where did you send them?โ
Me โerr.....the address we installed your internet too......โ
I'm a personal trainer at a gym and everyone who walks through the doors thinks there's a shortcut to getting yourself in shape. I can't count the number of times I've heard: "I'm going on vacation next week and I want to get toned... you know, not big, just toned..." Generally speaking, I'm not as blunt as I can be when clients say stuff like this. I wasn't an athlete my whole life and I understand how hard it is to get into a routine but I'm not a magician; there are no shortcuts. So this one woman who always rubbed me the wrong way (she was always trying to tell me about how she read some new article about losing weight quickly off your thighs or abs or some other fitness related nonsense) because of her general laziness and sense of entitlement came up to me one day and asked: "How long do you think it'll take me to lose all this weight?" In my head I thought: "Well how long did it take you to put it all on?" Except the thought didn't stay in my head. I actually said that out loud to the woman. Needless to say, I felt like a piece of trash for saying that.
I used to be a bank teller in a rich neighborhood and one of the rich Assholes comes over to my window with a $5,000 tax return check. (Mind you. ANY bank employee who does a non-policy followed loss $1,000+, meaning you went against the rules for a customer, is immediately terminated.) This guy throws this check at me and says cash it. Of course I asked him for two forms of ID because no way youโre getting 5Gs out of my drawer without me knowing who you are(even though I did).
He hits me with this: โIf you continue with this bar customer service. Youโll be hearing from my lawyer.โ
Me: โYeah. Should we call him right now?โ
He stalked off over to my manager to complain. Manager wasnโt happy.
I work at an auto parts store known for getting in the area. One night i was helping this Nice Woman ($NW) and her Daughter ($D). Other stars of this tale are $CW1 and $CW2.
Anyways so $NW comes in and waits in line while i finish up another customer. $D walks off to go browse an aisle while she waits. I finish with my customer and $NW comes up to me and starts to tell me what she needs for a brake job for her car. $CW1, noticing $D in an aisle just looking, walks up to see if she needs help finding anything. $CW2 finishes up and stands to the side watching me. After hearing $CW1 ask $D if she needed help, $NW then remarks "Why do people always ask her if she needs help? No one ever asks me."
Now here is where I made my mistake. In my friend group I'm know to quite often fire off a witty remark without always thinking it through.
$Me: "Well I guess it's because people have just given up on you."
...
$CW1, $CW2, and $D lose it.
$NW looks very shocked and just says "Wow! I... That was so fast!"
I then realized what I had said and became mortified.
Thankfully she took it well and was just shocked I had said it. I still gave her 10% off of everything because I felt bad. $CW1 still teases me to this day.
Oh and I guess an epilogue - $NW and $D came back into the store a couple months later. $CW1 helped them at the time and remembered who they were. So being the cheeky bugger he is, while checking them out he calls out "Hey $Me! Does she look familiar?"
$NW remembered me but just laughed and said I had made her day that night.
A woman with a baby in a stroller came into the store I had worked at in high school and came directly over to me (at a hanging rack, so kind of weird) and asked if a guy of such-and-such description had come in and hit on me or asked me to have lunch. I said "yeah that dude is a creep, he comes in every shift I work and talks to me for like an hour and follows me out to my car." The guy was her cheating husband.
Nothing serious. I was new working in a food store (Coop Konsum) and one lady had bought one avocado for her ladies night. It wasnt good apperantly so she was asking for compensation, i then said i can give you a new one. But she said that it was to late now... But she COULD take something else.
I was only a new worker and has only worked 1 week, so i told her that!
She started to push even more now, she wanted anything! Mind you one avocado cost like 84 cent (0,7 euro) So i told her, go to the register and they will help you. I ran away after. She got her money back...
I was commenting on how different people look from their license photo and was saying how some men are baby faced in their IDs but have beards now and said the phrase, "oh, you're a man now" about beards vs baby faces as soon as another coworker came into the room and made fun of me. I didn't realize it could have been awkward until that moment
Worked in the gambling shop (bookies) in England for 10 years.. Customer service literally goes out the window. Had people telling me they're going to rape my mother, a guy spat in my face (some of which entered my mouth), a guy kicked me, a guy drew a love heart on the toilet wall with the shit that he'd done on a plastic bag then proceeded to whipe every surface with the shit, a guy pissed on the gaming machine so we threw him out and he went mental, had to phone the police probably about 200 times in my 10 years due to death threats/abusive behaviour.. But I still had to be polite to them
I was a hostess at Applebeeโs and it would piss me off everytime someone insisted on a booth, because we tried to make it so the servers werenโt overwhelmed, and only one or two servers had available booths so we would always swamp them and get shit for it. Iโm a hypocrite because I always ask for a booth, but at least I say โif thereโs one availableโ. One time three people came in asking for a booth in one servers area, and by the last group I actually had started walking them to a table when they spotted a booth and insisted on THAT ONE and I just looked at them and said, โwhy?โ
I sat them in the booth of course but my manager came up to me later and was like... โwe donโt just ask customers WHY!โ
Also at another job we were two minutes before close and I basically had the whole lobby and back area clean, this family comes in with like seven people and a kid (we closed in like two minutes), I got them their food and kindly asked them to not make a mess because we were closing when I saw them making a mess. (Again, bad judgement. I fucking hated food service.) they of course left a huge mess and filed a corporate complaint and my boss had to talk to me about it.
Now Iโm working in healthcare and I havenโt had to deal with people being stupid/wanting stupid things because usually these people are only in wanting things to help them be comfortable (having to use the bathroom, wanting a pillow or some Tylenol)
Older Asian woman came in, I get a myriad of different peoples in, and lots of Asiatics.
We talk often, she tells me of a store and the good deals there, I speak up about the little Asian store 10 miles down the road.
She says "---? Oh we dont'a go there, they Laotian"
I didn't actually say a thing after, but my expression must have said "OMG I don't know, how am I to know"
She waves a hand "It'sa Okaya, we all look alike".
After this, the PASSENGER got out and demanded the manager. So together, me & the manager listen to her shout and then point in my face: "HE NEEDS DRIVER TRAINING. I HAVE TWO KIDS IN THE BACK OF MY CAR AND HE'S THREATENING MY LIFE BY HONKING AT US AND TAILGATING US THROUGH THE PARKING LOT!" Now, anyone else would've apologized and kissed this customer's ass to a bad review anyway, but as someone who tries to promote safe driving, I was not about to have it. I pointed back and said "You need to learn what a green light is!" Long story short, she ranted a full minute on how she would take the incident to corporate and ruin my life. So far, my first customer complaint.
Corporate can fire me if they must. I am not about to kiss customer ass because they can't accept the fact that they are a poor driver. In fact, I felt I should've pointed out that she was meandering through the parking lot like a drunk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was ringing up a box of pastries at a pastry cafe, and jokingly told the customer that the cafe was perfect for getting diabetes. She looked dispirited and left.
I worked in a specialized department for a cell phone company. We dealt exclusively with transferring people's phone numbers to and from other carriers. Some landline companies make things exceptionally difficult... so much so that our dept. Was split into groups who were trained exclusively on how to deal with certain carriers. I had a call from a lady who needed help porting her number from Cox Communications. Before transferring to an agent who had training with this carrier I told her "I just need a moment to transfer you directly to an expert in dealing with Cox". ....
Not a โshouldnโt have said thatโ but more a shouldnโt have done that.
Years back I was helping a lady load items into the back of her van. She was inside and I was passing things to her.
As she turned towards me I had a straight shot down her shirt. No bra and some of the perkiest boobies Iโve ever seen on an older lady.
She noticed that I noticed, gave me a wry smile and just kept going.
Eye contact after that was really difficult considering she pretty much gave me a pass to peak each time she spun around.
Strangely enough, this one didnt happen to me but I could feel the "oh shit". I live on a military base and have longer hair then the average guy around this area. As we pull up, the officer checking our ids said "Hello ladies." and my mom chuckled a bit as this wasn't the first time. He seemed a bit bewildered by it, but just quickly finished checking our ids and handed them back. It wasn't until we were driving away and my mom burst out laughing that we heard him yell "SORRY" in an embaressed tone. Im okay with it, but I could feel the embaresment in his voice.
Made a few oopsies, my favourite has got be reading a customer completely wrong after a bit of a back and forth about their favourite product being out of stock and they son tho they could cope without it.
Naturally I jokingly send a link to the Samaritans saying these guys could help.
That backfired quite a bit.
abbiyah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:31 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was my mistake. Someone who stalked our store's website and mailers came in asking for something that wasn't on the shelves yet because understaffed with way too large of shipments for our location because our RM set goals for us that even the biggest stores couldn't reach THANKS KATHY LET ME JUST FIND 60 CUSTOMERS WHO CAN AFFORD $1000 SHEET SETS.
Sorry about that. I don't work there anymore.
Anyway, this person asked for x thing, and my big, dumb gob uttered, "oh, sorry, we haven't unpacked those yet."
She stared at me expectingly. I had utterly fucked myself with a brick stick.
Intercom: Cindy to the register please.
My elderly, bitter co-worker was not pleased to be called up. I then explained that I had to go to the stock room and open boxes until I found a specific type of queen-sized pillows. I probably still have facial scars from the daggers she stared at me.
It took me 30 minutes of quickly opening boxes and throwing packing materials all over the place so it looked like Alice in Retail Wonderland, I found these $60 a piece pillows that I assume were stuffed with Santa's actual beard trimmings or whatever, and brought them out.
Customer didn't like them, they looked better in the advert. She left empty-handed.
I was conversing with some regulars I had, I am the bartender and have known these fellows for many years. Anyhow they are discussing lunch and the server there and one of the guys says "You just like to look at this person whom I'll not names tits" so then I blurt out oh so you've got a thing for a cups huh. Immediately wished to pull those words back but too late
It wasnโt something mean or anything but it could have gotten me in trouble. I used to work at hellmart, an old lady came up to me asking where she could find some nice art something or another. Without much thought I just replied hobby lobby and gave her directions. Glad a manager didnโt catch that one
I was talking to a customer about shows I watched when I was a kid. I used the term older people because I was talking about a show on PBS called Sesame Street. I use the term because I thought it had stopped airing. I regret saying that every day because she looked and sounded offended.
Duuude. So I worked at a sandwich shop for a bit and my manager/shift leader when to the bank so it was me and another employee. We have several sizes of sandwiches and we have a large size. A lot of people like to share the large between two people and sometimes want one thing on one half and not the other which is fine; but this guy comes up and says it needs to be this way or my wife will be upset. I tell him we can do that. It was kindof complicated but I told the other employee to make it and leave off exactly what he said.
A little bit later the guy comes up and says it's not right and we make him a new Large sandwich, EXACTLY how he said it again. a few minutes later he comes up again and tell him, we made it exactly like what he said. He walks away annoyed. Then his wife comes up to me, and the first thing she says is "what's wrong with you?" right off the bat I was like ok this bitch is really rude, like who just walks up and says that to a human being? So I calmly told her that we made it like her husband said. She told me how she wanted it (which part was right but her husband told us the opposite of what she said, so that was the issue). So she's upset and frustrated yelling at me asking why we can't make the sandwich and I I just yelled back "well no customer has ever been this complicated, we usually just ask them to fill out a separate bag if it's going to be individualized. She gets really mad and says "what's your name?" i stared at her and didn't tell her. She got mad at that and says where's your manager?" I tell her he isn't there cause he legit wasn't. The manager is a really chill guy anyways. She asked my managers name and I only told her his first name. After that she left in a huff and of course wrote a complaint email but both my manager and general owner agreed that she was ridiculous. In the email she complained about way more than just me and completely over exaggerated everything. She also told me that her and her husband owned restaurants. They did not look at all like people that owned restaurants and all I could think was "if you actually work in food service you wouldn't be such a cunt." my co-worker later laughed so hard at the exchange cause he thought she was a bitch too but just stayed silent. I don't feel bad about saying "no one is this complicated, because it was a super chill sandwich shop that got busy but was easy as far as what people wanted. The woman refused to admit that her husband explained everything wrong.
I was chatting with a customer about video stuff. He says the quality is low, and asks me if I can do anything to improve the quality on his end. I say "does that make a difference?" After making a small change. Of course it's subtle enough he doesn't realise I did anything.
Some people interpret it as me being condescending, questioning his need for better quality. Sure enough, some other people get upset too.
I worked at Home Depot and was standing infront of the concrete when he pointed at two different pallets (80 lb bags and 60 lb bags) and asked me what the difference was. โBout 20 lbs.โ was not the answer he was looking for
Had a customer who wanted free service, got denied (I don't play that shit), acted like a child (she was 40-50 years old), threatened to rant on social media about us to her 1300 friends (we do more customers than that on a bad week).
My response: Nobody gives a fuck about your social media
When a regular (that has been building up my anger every single time he comes in) rudely answered "Liquid" after I asked him what he'd like to drink.... I offered Toilet water. Though, also sarcastically. Tried to brush it off as a joke and I'm glad it didn't work. I've been a waitress for a few years. Never had a complaint that involved my attitude before him. I don't need customers like that. I know it was very unprofessional but I'm not sorry.
There's a very fine line between a funny smartass and a disrespectful one. He was obviously the latter
Back in the day, working at a Burger King. Hopped in on an argument between a customer and a manager I was hoping to shag. Customer said "I know the owner, and I will call him". I said, "Bitch, I don't care if you know Mickey Mouse; you're gonna have to leave."
She did know the owner, and told him. I was fired (finally, was wondering what it would take)
Three days later BK calls begging for me to return! I was like, I love you but I ain't coming back. One of the most surreal, ridiculous jobs I ever had.
i get straight to the point and that's not always a good thing when it comes to customer service. the one time i was reported to a manager was when i didn't pussyfoot around our products being sold out. it didn't help that i was dealing with a customer that was well known to be a bitch. she asked me why X product wasn't on sale and i simply said "because it's sold out". lady didn't like what i said so she reported me to one of my managers because she felt i was rude.
Not me, but my best friend (In our first interaction 13ish years ago) as he was bagging while I was ringing. This lady had a pack of like weight watchers bagels, that was supposed to have six. She says this to my friend who replies "Maybe that's their point, only eat 5 instead of 6"
S-Elena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a service technician for a retail company (not best buy). Let me follow that with the layout. When customers needed to speak to us about problems with their computer, they brought it up to a counter thatโs shaped like an โLโ. This is our first line of defense, because they talk to knowledge experts who determine whether or not the machine gets checked in so a technician can work on it. From the counter is a door that leads to the technicians area and I was the unlucky bastard who got to sit front and center where that door was. In other words I was the first one they would see beyond that door. Usually it wasnโt bad because I just did my job and clocked out whence that time came. I remember a man being really mad about something or other and I also remember it was some ridiculous remark. Mind you this was a few years back so I donโt remember the details. I swear I wasnโt looking in his direction or gave any signs that I noticed him saying anything crazy but as he said those words a small chuckle barely audible by anyone other than him left my mouth. I want to stress that I was looking straight into another clients computer so it could have been something there but he decides that I was laughing at him. He was right, but how do you pinpoint a laugh thatโs meant for you in a loud retail store. In hindsight it was funny even after I got reprimanded for laughing but thatโs as close a moment as I can recall.
I worked at a Goodwill. This one guy, probably in his 50s, cuts the whole line and tries to checkout. I politely point him to the line and he nods and walks off. I notice he goes to sit on one of our couches for sale. I didn't think much of it and continued ringing people up. About 15 minutes later, he cuts the whole line again and tries to check out. I tell him that you have to wait in line and again pointed to the line. He responds by saying he did. I tell him that I saw him sitting on the couch. This is when he loses it. He tells me he is way too old to stand in line and has severe back problems. I told him I can't change the rules or make exceptions, but I am sorry for the inconvenience . He then accuses me that I am only allowing women to check out in my line. He then raises his voice, yelling that he will sue me and will see me in court. I couldn't help it and I ended up laughing straight in his face at this absurd comment which only made him angrier. He started making an even bigger scene and some other customers began to yell at him to defend me. My manager heard the commotion and signaled for me to just let him through so he would leave. He gave the people he cut in line a discount or coupon or something.
Once my client asked me to reduce descrease the management fees from 15 to 8% which couldn't be happened. I moved from there without saying any word. So that was the moment when I was thinking it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly a customer, but a group of 3 students at a private school I worked at.
They'd been digging around, playing detective, looking into things that the headmaster deemed to be confidential.
Anyway, while I'm trying to tell them to mind their own business and focus on school, I let slip a small detail that helped them find a way into a huge maze of traps set up by the teachers to protect some stone, one of them gets knocked out, and another ends up fighting the dark Lord and killing a teacher in the process.
I shouldn't have said that.
Can't believe I didn't get fired for that little slip-up.
smxgkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When working in sales, a customer was being unbearably indecisive and I hated my job so I lost it and said โit doesnโt matter which one you get, youโre getting ripped off with this place anywayโ
An old lady came to me asking if we had any weiners, and I started to tell her where the hot dogs are and she said no, a "weiner in a jar" which is like a jar of pickled hot dogs and I knew we had them but I couldn't find them and this poor elderly lady was hobbling along trying to follow me back and forth down the store and I just could not find it, so I tried finding another employee to help, but the place was just deserted, until finally I find someone.
This very quiet chick that works the snack section happened to be working the last aisle I thought to try looking down, and she also happened to be m2f transgendered. But I knew if it existed, it would be in her aisle...
So I opened my big stupid mouth and said "hey, do you have a weiner in a jar?" And the look I got from her just murdered me right then and there.
"... Y'know, like, those pickled hot dog things..." was all I could manage to say to my shoes as the old lady finally caught up to me and the poor girl realized I was helping a customer.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:06 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that a bunch, also called a lot of short haired women "sir." I'm a space cadet. It seems like a lot of trans folks are understanding when someone innocently slips up.
I work in a restaurant, whenever people ask me stupid questions, I give them stupid answers.
Ex: Customer- how long will the wait be Friday night at 6 pm?
Me- let me look in my crystal ball, so I can predict the future. Nope, it's not working. I can't see into the future sir. Sorry.
_khanrad ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer said her daughter had just hung herself. I told her to hang in there...
wEiRdO86 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 22 or so and working at the Home Depot. I said, within earshot, asked if another employee could help the little old lady who needed additional assistance. They took that pretty hard, and I took on unemployment thereafter.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a restaraunt. Weโre supposed to repeat the order back to the customer to make sure we donโt mess it up.
A guy ordered a water and a Coors light, and I repeated the order as โTwo waters. You got it.โ
nyanlol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm working the counter at the deli, back turned. Old lady and her husband come up.
Old lady: "Hello?"
Me, sick of being interrupted, tired and snarky, turning and saying "Goodbye?"
Lady, coping an attitude: "excuse me, but that was very unprofessional"
Her husband on the other hand is cracking up. That's the ONLY reason i didn't get in trouble.
The other one when i told a guy in response to "do you cut meat here": "that is generally what we do in a deli, yes"
Working food service gives you a /severe/ allergy to stupid questions
Casino dealer here. Noticeably heavyset Lady was being a total bitch to me and other players for the better part of an hour on a blackjack game. Her husband comes up and says โhey come with me, I just got comped a couple buffetsโ. She replies with โwe can go later, Iโm not hungry. Me of course, without hesitation โI really doubt that.โ She was pissed, I denied it entirely when confronted by my boss. Totally worth the written warning, but I definitely had a shouldnโt have said that moment as soon as the words escaped my mouth.
LOL, I love the projection at the end. That's all great for you, and nowhere did I mention you were unhappy, I enjoy my job as well but I love vacations also.. Didn't realize they were mutually exclusive. Again sounding like projection as you keep saying on every response post disagreeing with you which makes it sound like you are even further, but I digress. That's all well and good, my point is that I'll be doing the same as well as vacation whilst retiring on what is likely a better income if you work in customer service as you say(but now say business owner and never mentioned before, but again I digress), so that's why it's poor logic as well as just not necessary. I mean really, good for you about the work ethic, but as I said it doesn't make me an asshole for achieving the same results or better in a shorter time period whilst also having free time and the expendable income for vacation without it affecting my retirement in any noticeable way whatsoever. So again, you don't need to get personal or try to be insulting when you don't have any substantive reply as you have also been doing on nearly everyone that disagrees with you LOL. That totally doesn't make it look like you're getting super salty or its some kind of way you argue to attempt to diminish people when you don't have a substantive response to what I actually said about investing wisely and getting a better education.. Anyways, like I said, I just think your investment strategy is poor based on what you've said and aside from that it doesn't make someone an lazy or asshole for having a better investment plan or just not wanting to retire at 40 vs saving 1K$ more a year or etc. I mean if I can have invest intelligently and then retire 5 years sooner than you anyways, then did your one week a year matter any significant amount? No. And that's why working 1-2% more a year over investing income intelligently to retire much much earlier than simply saving or a 401K is not stupid, nor does it make me lazy, it's just smarter to do. So that's all good for you man, happy that you have a good work ethic and enjoy it, but it doesn't make me an asshole for doing it in a way that I retire the same or earlier than you whilst also being able to go on vacation a few times a year.
btcftw1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:22:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working in a library, and a couple (they're like 50 years old) comes in. You know the type, they're teasing each other. He says something to me like "Well, we're only here for her, 'cause I can't even read!" with a big grin.
I worked with a lady who was always saying silly things by accident. When she with me if we had some meds for a customer, she went back to the customer and said "I'm a bit sorry but we don't have those in." Both of them stalled for a minute while that sunk in.
duxego ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:53:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The moment a customer who has cancer made a complaint and pulled the โIโm dyingโ card. I said โyep we all areโ. The customer then said โbut I donโt know how long Iโve got to liveโ I said โneither does any of usโ. I shouldnโt have said it but fuck em. Pull that shit on someone who gives a fuck, just because youโre dying doesnโt give you a right to complain about insignificant shit, like out of everyone fucking alive theyโd be the last ones to waste time over a stupid insignificant fucking petty complaint! Iโm going hell I know, I know...
Not a worker but to a friend. One said "Wow OP you could be a girl" So I pretended to stare down my shoirt and check for boobs. Then said "I guess, but id be like F" F was there in the room talking with us. Immediate regret.
While I was working as a faculty member at a school for witches and wizards called โHogwartsโ I, on several occasions, divulged secrets about a magical stone hidden within the castle to three first year students.
TLDR: told an obese family that they shouldn't buy drinks and should start dieting.
Working register at my pizza job, a fa family of large people come in. The kids were obese, the parents were obese, it was bad. They ordered pizzas using a coupon and a fountain drink for everyone. Then they asked why it was so much more than the coupons. I said that it was the 5 drinks at $2 each, and then instead of shutting up I said, "you could save $10 and get a start on a much needed diet for your family."
And that's why I didn't work the register anymore. And probably also my hatred of phone calls.
A regular customer came into the restaurant and ordered something to-go, and after a short conversation about the state of the economy told me โI hate capitalism.โ
And I said โI doubt that. You willingly come here every week with your iPhone and a coffee from Dunkinโ Donuts, willingly order food you love with money you willingly work for, and drive off in your car which you willingly purchased. I think you love it but donโt understand it. Willingly.โ
PEA_0126 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a bank as a teller. One day a young man in his early twenties comes to my window and doesnโt have his form filled out. Since he was about my age, I thought I could joke around with him and so I said โWhy didnโt you fill out your form? Are you dyslexic or something?โ
At first he laughed with me and smiled and I filled out his form and he went about his day. Or at least I thought.
Turns out he went home and cried to his mom and she called the bank, talked to my manager and well I got in DEEP trouble. Letโs just say I never cracked jokes again with my customers.
kylexxyy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so the investments my wife and I are making in rentals properties (her parents have a few arms are retiring in early 50's in a few years) and stocks as well as her 401K are not investments?.. Certainly ones that pay much more on investment than saving a few days of work a year. Far more to be certain. I mean not to be rude or a dick, but working in customer service does not sound like a position that requires higher education so if you cannot afford to take a vacation and if the difference of 5-10 days of vacation and maybe 1500$ once every year or so makes any real difference whatsoever in the long to your savings for retirement, then you really need to rethink your idea of investing your time/money to retire earlier, look into some investments that pay dividends and/or go back to school to find a job that allows you to both save as well as take a vacation. Even if taking a week off work a year did allow you to retire any significant amount earlier just by saving or 401K alone, it would still be a really bad ROI for not going on vacation for 30+ years, not to mention that with education and smarter investing we'll more than likely be retired before you on a better income whilst working the same or less hours, and I work for myself. I mean I know not everyone can own their own business or be freelance, but advising people to not take a week off as an investment strategy to retire earlier is just not a logical thing to do, and criticizing people for not doing that is rude and idiotic. Again, I think you made some very poor choices and/or did not research your investment strategies if you think that's a smart way to invest, and it sounds like you've done I specialized jobs for a number of years rather than go back to school or start a business or etc, so that's your choice to do, no one is lazy or an asshole for not wanting to work in jobs where it's impossible to go on vacation due to finances or hours or etc, or for not using your same investment strategy of working one more week a year rather than investing income in something with better ROI. Id rather invest intelligently and be frugal shopping and work for myself so I can retire early with a good income as well as not just work my life away for 30 years. Again, that's up to you to do and I do think a good work ethic is important, but it doesn't make me or anyone else an asshole for doing it a smarter way to allow for vacations and time off, or just not wanting to retire early... But either way, that's some really poor logic and I think you should go do some research on investments if you think working about 1.75% more hours very year is better than legitimate investment and/or education to get a better paying job, LOL
Worked at subway... some guy wanted bread... guy made those thinking sounds out loud... hmm ch ch ch... I said we don't have ch ch ch here... guy gets mad and smashes all the chip bags and says he wants 20 pickles INSIDE the bread I told him that we have a 15 pickle limt but if you wanna put one more it'll cost 1.50 and since he was getting a cookie anyway it would have been .75 for the cost of the sandwcih HE TOLD ME, he wanna buy the pickles instaed of the cookies. HE THREW CHIPS ONTO THE BREAD!!!!
Saved comment #1
Saved comment #2
brinazee ยท 689 points ยท Posted at 02:03:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman's kids were trashing an endcap. I asked them to stop and she was angry I talked to them and told me it was my job to clean it up, the kids were fine.
My response didn't go over well. "Oh my word, your kids are so annoying. That's not an accident I have to clean up, that's intentional damage and you're encouraging it."
Got written up for that mouthing off.
ThePokeTesla ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 14:42:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when parents use the excuse โtheyโre just kids leave them aloneโ. Shouldnโt be an excuse for them to act however they want
FierroGamer ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:52:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's an excuse for parents to not have to do their jobs as parents.
puppyluvr99 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:58:52 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a kid knock over a whole thing of bubble wrap and pick it up right afterward. It's not the kids fault, it's the parents.
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 16:42:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly the fact that our society allows that behavior for the sake of money is infuriating but mostly it just makes me sad. People should be held responsible for being assholes.
edit:a word
enterthedragynn ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 17:31:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And its her "job" to teach her kids not to act that way.
yankonapc ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pardon my ignorance, what kind of endcap? Plumbing?
Picklebrine ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:52:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's the end part of a store isle.
brinazee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:01:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The shelving that is at the end of aisles in stores. In this case filled with various dog toys and cleaning supplies.
yankonapc ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:16:38 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh thank you. That makes much more sense than what I'd envisaged.
SometimesADrug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:07 on April 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sheโs โcreating jobs.โ/s
youngloudandsnotty ยท 5088 points ยท Posted at 01:58:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking with a customer on the phone and giving her answers she didnโt like. Then she, this grown woman, just starts whining. Not like using words with a whiny voice but actually doing a โuuuuuhhhnnnnnnnโ kind of whining.
Iโve worked with toddlers a lot so it was just instinct to say back to her โMaโam, please use your wordsโ as if I was talking to a 3 year old.
It did not go over well.
sirdigbyrussian ยท 1801 points ยท Posted at 05:01:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Still the right thing to do however.
Beccabooisme ยท 523 points ยท Posted at 05:10:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've always caught myself so far, but the urge to say "please? " when a customer tells me to do something is always overwhelming.
hopeless698 ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 15:24:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer made a demand/loud statement one time, and I was sick of it. I told him โI can get you that if you ask nicelyโ, over-annunciating my words to get the point across. He became very nice and apologetic.
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 15:34:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I had customers like that. Most would double down and continue being rude
oyvho ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 17:36:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm a primary school teacher, and that's exactly what our 5-6 year olds do when they get embarrassed.
ki11bunny ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 14:13:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to bluntly say "that won't be possible", if asked why "that isn't something that I'm authorised to do". I would repeat this until they either gave up, asked to be transferred or wanted to speak to a manager.
I just didn't care by that point though, so I would take no interest and repeat or pass the customer off.
Maverick8787 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:00:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nurse here. I did that once and immediately facepalmed. Luckily I played it off and from there on out the patient and I got along great.
Funnily enough, I saw the patient months later and they asked me to perform some easy task for them and said PLEASE???? While making the silliest facial expression.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:44:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say go for it but Iโm not the one who gets fired
mangey_mongrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HA! I also mouth this under my breath every time it happens with a customer.
Baeelin ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 09:57:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to my wife when she's not communicating well. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't lol.
JenWarr ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:50:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm surprised you still have your whole nutsack intact.
Baeelin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:53:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We've already had the kids we are going to. It wouldn't be missed.
KittySqueaks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:38:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Testicles are useful for boners though...
Baeelin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:49:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll just tape a roll of quarters to it.
Dragonslayer314 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:17:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My family's phrase is "English, please?" - my parents would always say that to my siblings and I when we were talking too quickly and not enunciating well, but it's spilled over into other uses for me. Whether it works isn't particularly important, it's the saying it that's the fun part.
capricerider901x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say to people who talk to fast "How about you put spaces between your words." Works every time lol
HearingSword ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I AM STEALING THIS ONE. My manager would burst out in fucking hysterics. Quality would mark me down though, but worth it.
spaceklods ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:47:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ironic considering your username. She was the loud and snotty one.
Faeleena ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:24:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to my husband from time to time. If an adult is doing this they deserve it imo. I can't stand when adults don't use their words. Makes me want to scream.
Findadmagus ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:56:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
stop screaming and use your words
faoltiama ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 12:48:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say this to my dogs, lol. It never works....
nakedwithoutmyhoodie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:43:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My supervisor's brain often works faster than his mouth. When this happens, he will say, "Uhhhh...hang on a second, gotta use my words..."
thatgirl829 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:01:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine the customer was pissed, but it was the right thing to say. I tell my boyfriend's 5 & 6 year old all the time that I can't help them solve their problem, if they can't use their words to tell me what the problem is.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:56:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ๆๆ๏ผ้ผๆฏ้ฝไธๅคงๆไบ่ฟ่ฃ ๅฐๅญฉๅฟๆ ท
Spidey16 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 13:13:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah same.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 13:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well ็พๅฝๅฅณไบบๅๆฌขๅฎ้ผๆฏใ
downvotethechristian ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:39:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda goes without saying.
capricerider901x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:12 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You said it brother.
lolarent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:18:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were having dinner at the in-laws' once and my MIL, a primary school teacher, was trying to get my husband's attention by calling his name repeatedly but he was in the middle of a story so just ignored her. She started doing that whiny ehhhhh sound and he stopped mid-sentence, looked at her and said "Now H*****, use your words, please." She took it pretty well though, it was kinda funny. :)
Stats_with_a_Z ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:30:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How DARE you expect me to act like a grown adult!
SYOF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:16:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed.
I had a customer cry on the phone because she missed a deadline for a trivial thing. I would have helped her if I could have, but it was just too late to be physically possible. And, again, not important. After several rounds of "I want X" and "I'm very sorry, but X can't happen because blahblah; would Y or Z perhaps help?" the crying began. I went dead silent. It's weird how quickly she pulled herself together. Almost like she hadn't actually been crying. Huh.
contagiouscass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:37:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It may not have gone over well, but I definitely would have done the same thing.
Castun ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. Of course, I hear the same thing from my wife when I'm being too quiet...
ghostgirl16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:05:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just made me spit out my food laughing. I needed that today.
moustachesamurai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:27:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tina Belcher?
nagol93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do the same thing with my mom.
She has a bad habit of talking with her mouth full. So over dinner she will point to me and say "HHHMMMammmmmer HMHMhmmhhh"
SniperPoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I wish I could talk back to the customers. But I know it's not really a good idea.
SpecterJDX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:15:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are my hero.
80234min ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
God, I bet that was satisfying. Like, "I'm okay getting fired because of it, that felt great" kind of satisfying.
totoyolo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha love it.
helloclurlyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Act with the emotionally maturity of a child and youโll be spoken to like a child? Use your calm-down-jar if you need it, maโam. Iโll wait.
PuppleKao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:06:43 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's a calm-down-jar?
helloclurlyn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:13:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A sensory tool used when children are having adverse emotional responses. They get the jar, shake it up, watch the glitter/beads/legos float around, take some deep breaths, and once the jar has settled, theyโre allowed to join the group again.
PuppleKao ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:27:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! Awesome! I used to work at a daycare, but I'd not heard that one. Sounds like a good idea!
Beachy5313 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:50:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Act like a child, get treated like a child.
rushaz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
if a customer acts like a toddler, then she should expect to be treated like one. You should proudly own this!
Aggressivecleaning ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have said that to patients. My boss has completely supported my judgment.
[deleted] ยท 6321 points ยท Posted at 01:24:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady was complaining about her parents in law and told me to make sure I like the parents of whoever I marry. So I said โOh my fiancรฉโs parents are dead so I lucked out.โ She did not laugh.
Seven7hanks ยท 1168 points ยท Posted at 07:28:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, I chortled.
AlbertFischerIII ยท 176 points ยท Posted at 07:49:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I breathed out quickly through my nose.
the-floot ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 08:04:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I filled my lungs reading this
PM_Me_Rude_Haiku ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 12:46:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then what happened?
stumpythetooth ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 12:53:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing. Some say his lungs are still full to this day.
saw213 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:59:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's only been a few hours soโฆ
stumpythetooth ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:32:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hush now little one.
saw213 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:34:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shh bby is ok
Soulren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:34:34 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was a wild ride
PM_ME_UR_BROWNIES ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:55:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but somebody born in 2001 will read this as "4 years ago" someday.
FreeKillxP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bruh
notaschlong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:13:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i literally inhaled while reading this
louispn23 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 15:17:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does this justify using lol...?
0TheG0 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 13:41:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TIL the word chortled. Thank you for enriching my vocabulary.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:24:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉ laughed when I told him so thatโs a win in my book hahaha
irish_canadian ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:44:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just how English are you? The last time I saw the word "chortled" in print I was read the Beano or Dandy as a ten year old and I will be seventy in May.
Seven7hanks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact! I'm a 22 year old Californian! I just felt like chortled fit better than chuckled. I dunno friendo, sorry to disappoint.
timshoaf ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:22:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
404 upvotes, laughter not found
blackhawksaber ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:42:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason I associate the word โchortleโ with Chet from the Hardy Boys so I always assume only chubby teenagers can chortle.
jiibbs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:05:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, when I read "chortled" I normally picture a heavier-than-usual person laughing and sounding like a snorting pig.
No shame in that, though, those kind of laughs are straight up infectious.
unclerummy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:16:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I associate Chet with his old jalopy. Now I've got jalopies on the brain. Jalopy jalopy jalopy. Jalopy.
GonzoStrangelove ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:02:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I experienced a full guffaw.
SweetGunnySteve ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:35:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me think of Wartortle. Every time. Fucking chortle.
Soulren ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:35:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Warchortle is a fantastic username, actually
DrDoomsIronNuts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:36:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I Warchortled.
NuttyWorking ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, never heard the word "chortled" before. Might have to start using that to sound suave!
russiantoffee ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 07:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She's probably jealous
Deathaster ยท 113 points ยท Posted at 07:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing about what you said was wrong though, it's kinda her fault for getting too personal
kerbaal ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 13:34:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You opens the door, you deal with what comes through.
ScaryCress ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:33:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I fucked the door
ryo3000 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Deal with what came through it then
Which is... You
Deal with yourself
FatDabsIsGod ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 07:49:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's all fun and games until your Fiancรฉ tries to kill your parents too.
wedontlikespaces ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:45:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But then she'll have to do my laundry.
Thanos_Stomps ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:04:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay I get there are same sex couples but this is just wanting me to make sure I ainโt crazy and maybe educate some other folks in the process.
Isnโt fiancรฉ male And fiancรฉe female?
emosy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:17 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
probably because French
CptAngelo ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 07:59:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, shes complaining with a stranger, but she still gives you the stink face for a somewhat dark joke? That lady sucks, no wonder why her in laws dont like her
merc08 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 07:56:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TBF, you did luck out
Mrs_Shadow ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 09:10:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless her in-laws were nice! I like my in-laws and are a lot closer to them than to my own parents.
Korhaka ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:26:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought my last girlfriend had reasonable parents... Until I tried cooking for her, fuck that went badly as they took offense to the meal I was cooking. I picked it as I knew my girlfriend loved it when eating where I lived. He parents were not so happy, even though it wasn't for them anyway. At least now I am a bit older I am unlikely to be with someone who lives with their parents now.
Can't have a girlfriend who lives with her parents if you can't find anyone in the first place!
Man_gled_dicks ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 11:57:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One thing I don't tolerate is when people throw my kindness in my face.
Korhaka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:27:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Her mum didn't eat beef, fine, not a problem as she isn't eating it. And clearly has no problem with others eating it as she would often get beef lasagne in microwavable pots for my gf to eat. But the whole family, my gf included, got very mad at me for buying beef to cook for just me and my gf.
Something to do with saucepans having beef absorbing properties. I almost got to the point of saying fuck this and walking home, given how our relationship ended anyway a bit later, I probably would have been better off doing that.
totoyolo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:09:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What did you cook?
Korhaka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:35:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Beef chili.
totoyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:36 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why did they take offense to that? Please share recipe.
Korhaka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:16:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a recipe that I often alter quite a bit depending what I have available, typically though it's something like minced beef, onion, tin of chopped tomatoes, tin of kidney beans, beef stock, garlic, chili, cumin, corriander, cacao powder (failing that, darkest chocolate you can find).
Pretty sure that list is it, loads can be switched around though. Sometimes bell peppers to add some colour to it too.
totoyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:29 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds so good. Now I want some. Thank you for sharing.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:27:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, they died long before I met my SO but from the stories he tells me they seemed alright in small doses. Like super conservative backwoods republicans but if you stay away from sensitive topics you could have a good time. Guess Iโll never know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. Maybe not. Dead parents could be a source of contention in a relationship. My parents died in my teens. My wife's parents were alive and well. We lived a few miles from them when we first got married and then about a year later we moved into the house right next door to them. I always had just a little bit of resentment over the fact that she had parents close by that she could go to when she needed advice and guidance and I didn't. It didn't help that I left my home town and friends too. So I had no one but her. She had lots of people and her parents.
MAGA-Godzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you are open with your wife about how you feel on this because I don't see things ending well if you just keep it inside.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:08:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She's my ex wife now. Things didn't end well because I kept way too many things bottled up rather than talking about them. Your prognostication is 1-0.
Soulsand630 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 09:18:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know, dark humour is like food. Not everyone gets it.
mmerijn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo, my friend. Bravo. (my compliments to the chef)
totoyolo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:09:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My husband's parents have both passed away long before I even met him and I can't remember who, but someone (probably on reddit) once told me "wow you're lucky you don't have to deal with a mother in law".
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:23:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah my SOs parents died long before I met him, too. He jokes about it just as much as I do. In fact, the first time we ever met he said something about a box and I said โyour moms in a box.โ And yeah, she was. Still is.
totoyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg lol that's hardcore.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood the in-law hate. I get maybe you dislike a boyfriend's parents or something, but there are people I know who have legitimately disliked every single one of their partner's families. My sister is like this - she's mid 30s, probably has had a half dozen of serious relationships and every single one she has had screaming matches with their mothers. I don't know if it's her, the type of guy she is attracted to (aka mommy boys) or a combination of the two.
dirtycopgangsta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:00:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Check out r/justnomil for horror inlaw stories
JustDeadGuy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:37:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. - Owen Wilson
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:00:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโll give you another story about my fiancรฉ and his dead parents.
The very first time we ever met he made a comment about goldfish (the cracker) being in a box instead of a bag. And I said โyour moms in a box!โ And yeah. She is. And now that box is on a bookshelf in my house. He said he knew he liked me as soon as I made the joke because he also has a dark sense of humor. (Even though my joke was just a lame โyour momโ joke, it turned out better than expected)
kerbaal ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:37:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine came over and was looking at a family picture on a box on the mantle and asks my wife "Oh is this your mom here?"
"Yup that is her"
"Nice, where is she now?"
"In the box"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They really are dead though
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:45:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:21:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait I didnโt kill them they were already dead.
CarQuestBob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lol'ed like a mother fucker.
XvPandaPrincessvX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Official Dead Parent haver here.
I make this joke on my SO's behalf all the time.
GeneralLemarc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ouch
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:58:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs funny tbh
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought so, too.
eternalsunshine325 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:55:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She probably felt bad complaining after that. Happens to me all the time with people who don't know my mom died. They'll sit and complain about something and look to me to be like "yeah, I know what you mean. Mothers, right?". They don't expect the "Well my mom died, so..." My guess is it's guilt because they haven't considered what someone without a mom might say.
mydogwillbeinmyheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
damn!
contagiouscass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck.
yeah that's all I got...
Alpr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
calling the cops.
claptrap23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
savage
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That lady has no sense of humor
Hooker171 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have
AlwaysTurning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only because she was jealous.
Xyberfaust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:06 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's because she was thinking about how she was going to kill hers.
beezusquinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:04 on May 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed because Iโve said the exact same thing.
[deleted] ยท 4308 points ยท Posted at 02:57:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Theweasels ยท 1089 points ยท Posted at 06:50:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man that customer sounds like a bitch.
"No don't go get the manager to resolve this, I want to yell at you some more!"
Lord_Malgus ยท 305 points ยท Posted at 09:25:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then the burgers clapped
PuddingInTheThyme ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 13:47:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you trying to say you think this exchange is made-up? Because as someone who has worked a number of cashier jobs, I can assure you it is well withing the range of possibility.
fadecomic ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 14:09:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they're doubting the customer part, more the employee's clever quip.
PuddingInTheThyme ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 14:17:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm that's probably fair. I think of my best responses about 15 minutes after I need them.
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 14:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
good olโ espirit de lโescalair.
bin_hex_oct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Til
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be more realistic if the employee had just gave a monotone "no." While giving the customer a deadpan stare. The customer obviously becomes flustered and confused - can employees actually refuse orders? - the employee then starts laughing for the first time in three days - not because they find the dialogue funny, but because they fondly remember being able to be confused and angry a long time ago before this job.
I_chose_a_nickname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it happened. Just 3 weeks later while they were in the shower
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:05:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you give yourself gold, or was someone so impressed with your incredulity they decided to pay a few bucks to let you know?
Lord_Malgus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:37:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly don't even know, my guess is they thought the comment deserved more karma.
I'm just in it for the memes.
JoeBarge ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:55:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thought I'm the only one. You would think it's obvious.
EsQuiteMexican ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 15:55:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
uga11 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 15:54:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did something like that once
Customer to a server: you have an angry face you shouldn't be working as a server.
Me (under my breath): he still works here doesn't he.
Gets better she didn't hear but says to a manger that the server has an angry face and shouldn't be on the floor.
REDDITATO_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:03:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't like your face. Find a new job."
What a nutbag.
Alderin ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 07:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That wouldn't have surprised me coming from either of my kids. lol
silversonic99 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:00:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was this mcdonalds? I don't know any other fast food place that hires at 15.
BurritoInABowl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:28:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BK, Wendys, DQ
silversonic99 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bk only let's younger than 15 in some states with permits, Wendy's straight up says you have to be 16, DQ says 16 with some exceptions.
MattFlynnIsGOAT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:48:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's probably up to franchisees for the most part
silversonic99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Uh huh. And I don't see any franchise that allows other than mikey d's and sometimes bk
MayorThis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It probably isn't. These would be state-mandated employment laws.
MattFlynnIsGOAT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I believe most states allow 15 year olds to work though, at least with a work permit
silversonic99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some do.most have you wait til your 16 with a permit still.
SuperGusta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I started working at 14 in utah, without any kind of permit
wrig1943 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Culvers hires at 14
3575 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:15:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Young and working in fast food is a blast
JustinWendell ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:30:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Literally no fucks to give even if you wanted to.
nagol93 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda sorta reminds me of this youtube story I herd. It went something like that:
So I was working at subway in college and a very angry customer comes in and yells at me, demanding to see the manager. Now only people here are me and this 15 year old girl that started last week. So I said "ma'am the only other person here is a 15 year old girl who isnt legally aloud to use the toaster, im the closest thing to a manager your going to get".
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone care to explain the meaning. Haven't heard this expression before
scathacha ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 15:06:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"give them a piece of my mind" means "tell them what i think". "you dont have enough pieces to spare" means you dont have a large brain, your mind is lacking, etc. etc. it's not a saying one would hear, because the first part was the saying and his response was something clever that was playing off of what she said.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:11:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
thanks! got it
MrPureinstinct ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah you should have said that. She deserved it.
justanothercurse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:01:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was the one thing I LOVED about my stint as a store manager in fast food. You learn pretty quickly to hear everything that is going on around you. So and so is getting snippy with my employee for no reason, so I walk up and go โhey (random employee) can you go check on the bread?โ. Then I can take over and they figure out quickly Iโm not dealing with their crap. Usually if you call them out on it, they either stand down, or do the โIโm not coming back here routineโ. Itโs a damn sandwich and Iโm making it in front of you. If we mess up, you will notice and we will remake it. We arenโt going to force feed you the damn sandwich.
InsaNoName ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:08:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brutality
IAmAlligatorBlood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:52:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was sixteen I worked at a restaurant with a bunch of sauces at two different stations. A customer asked for sauce from station two, but I was at station one. I just looked at them and said that would be really inconvenient. They looked exasperated and started to walk out. I explained to them I was joking but they wouldn't have it. They didn't think it was funny at all.
My boss came back and told me they complained. She thought it was funny. But that's probably a reason she went out of business.
Keinichn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:39:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Ma'am, you're a few nuggets short of a 4 piece already."
TheNightTurtle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:14:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/murderedbywords
shemon1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did the customer respond?
Tjurit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:21:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Legendary.
Harry-41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*slow clapping
SniperPoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love that. Hope you didn't get into any trouble for that.
emosy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
damn.
zephyroxyl ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/murderedbywords
chownowbowwow ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:56:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Zinga !
oliveu14 ยท 2324 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy ordered three coffees, I brought him two immediately after ordering so he asked where his third one was..
First response out my mouth was โI only have two arms.โ
alittlebitcheeky ยท 522 points ยท Posted at 09:56:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this to customers. Carrying three plates and have extra napkins tucked under my arm, plus spare cutlery in my apron. Crusty Custy goes "uhh, we ordered X as well." I just put on my most saccharine smile, look apologetic and say "I'm so sorry, but I only have so many hands."
ChzzHedd ยท 579 points ยท Posted at 14:30:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a restaurant that brings food out as it's ready, so it doesn't sit in the window. Usually we have accurate seat numbers, but sometimes with big groups they get off. I'll go to where the burger should be and say "OK, I have the burger. Who had the burger?" And someone will be like "I had the chicken sandwich!" And I'm like, "Im real proud of you, but this is a burger..."
GreatArkleseizure ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 14:38:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been that customer, but only in cases where everybody else got their food, I'm still waiting, and am concerned there was a mix-up of some sort...
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 14:58:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a chicken sandwich the other day
kuhawk5 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 15:46:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm real proud of you, but this is a burger...
Lik_my_undersid ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 16:31:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm real burger of you, but this is a proud...
TheRagingTypist ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 17:04:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm burger proud of you, but this is where it gets real.
corporaterevenant ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:06:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congratulations!
metastasis_d ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 17:08:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate questions like that. Not because of the person asking, or even the questions, but because so many people just fucking sit and stare when a group is asked a question, even if it applies to someone there.
Example: "Who didn't get a [item]?" or "Did everyone get [item]?"
If you got [item], there is no way for you to answer those questions without hindering. You can't usually answer for everyone, so the only people who need to respond are the ones (if any) who didn't get [item]. But half the goddamned time the person asking will go on to treat those remaining silent like they're stupid for not answering.
metaaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:26:34 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some waiters keep track of the position for each dish while taking the order...
metastasis_d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:24 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
REDDITATO_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:06:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
androsgrae ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:26:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gods I wish every restaurant worked this way. It's straight up dumb that half your table had to wait ten minutes to get their pretzel bites just because one person ordered wings.
Of course if we did that we'd also need servers that actually run their damn food. I swear I'm going to stab somebody. Cough.
ChzzHedd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every here runs everyone's food. Whatever's next, that goes out.
androsgrae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have maybe a third of our FOH staff that actually runs their shit. Most of the time the manager does it. I run kitchen expo, so I basically just yell threatening things all night.
ChzzHedd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:51:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's our expo too.
Mackb13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You work at the shroom ?
androsgrae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I volunteer, because I love pizza so much.
ao_88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:14:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like that one
alittlebitcheeky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:46 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or when they say they have the third plate you have. And you're just like "Dude, I literally need to offload this Schnit before I can give you your burger."
zaketyzak ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 14:43:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your kitchen canโt manage to communicate so that everything comes up at the same time? Thatโs how itโs supposed to work, shouldnโt even need a heat lamp really.
ChzzHedd ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 14:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. Our restaurant is huge, and if we did that wait times would be outrageous (they already are), since that would slow down the tickets more. Servers time things out, and everything takes between 1-15 minutes, with most things taking between 3-7 minutes, so usually all the food hits the table at roughly the same time anyway.
dontbemeantojohnny ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:43:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really think that has anything to do with the size of your restaurant but rather probably the equipment your chefs are working with.
ChzzHedd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, it's a state of the art kitchen that does insane volume. But OK random person...
dontbemeantojohnny ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 16:49:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well then it may not be the quality of the kitchen but the number of stations it can support or it might not even have enough staff to fully utilize their stations. IDK. But not getting food out at the same time is definitely a form of disorganization.
That doesn't mean the food isn't good.
ChzzHedd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Again, you have no idea what restaurant this is, so maybe just shut the fuck up? Our chefs know what they're doing.
dontbemeantojohnny ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao. Never said they didn't. Still disorganized.
ChzzHedd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Most chefs and cooks who come to stage are super impressed to see how our restaurant runs. The local health inspectors say it's the cleanest kitchen in the city. We're basically the biggest tourist attraction in our city after the mall. But ya, disorganized...
StripedSausage ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:40:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Borrowing Crusty Custy! ๐
genericname1111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do customers not realize different things cook at different speeds? Sorry I got my tendies first, dad, I didn't wanna wait 40 minutes for some fucking fajitas.
alittlebitcheeky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. But if something is gonna take longer (for example a well done steak takes 40 minutes) I let them know and try to encourage them to order some garlic bread or something, so they've got something to munch on while they wait.
JBHUTT09 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you could say "and X is on the way, as well" or something so that they know you didn't forget and you don't have to deal with them asking about it.
alittlebitcheeky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:36 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It depends on the customers. If they've been a little needy or difficult I do that, just a gentle "and X is following me out right now" or "I'll just dash back for Y", but if they've been super chill then I don't really worry. Usually people are really cool and understand that someone can only carry so much or that they may not have help carrying everything out.
safetyindarkness ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:40:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do exactly the same thing. If no one can help me carry food out, I'll just smile and say exactly this.
WanderingFaerie ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 01:59:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao exactly what I thought when I worked in food. Because it's true... lol ugh I've always wanted to say that!
VerifiedMadgod ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 09:54:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of the opposite in two respects but once i was at a restaurant during the summer. It was also in a small farming town so most of the guys there were pretty big (and consequently sweaty). We order our drinks, and when the guy brings them to our table he's caring one under his armpit (which was visibly sweaty) which he sets in front of me after wiping (barely) one side of it.
Needless to say i didn't touch it. Couldn't manage to say anything about it though which makes me wonder how these customers without an actual bone to pick start treating people like such shit.
CarmelaMachiato ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:08:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My father, God rest his soul, was such an asshole to waitstaff I almost always refused to go out to eat with him. This one time my mom talked my sister and I into going to a family dinner at a nice steak restaurant. They seated the 4 of us and my mom immediately went to use the bathroom. The waiter comes over with 3 glasses of water. My father starts right in on this guy โExcuse me! How many glasses of water did you bring?โ The waiter politely said โthree, sir.โ โAnd how many people do you see sitting here?!?โ โUmmm...three?โ Thats when my dad realized my mom wasnโt with us. The waiter was very polite about it, but the rest of us made fun of him for literally the rest of his life.
Northcliff ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 13:04:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see what's wrong with that answer if you say it with a smile
im_in_hiding ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:35:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but how many hands do you have?
1234swkisgar56 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:38:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I serve softserve icecream. I have gotten it down where I can fit 3 cones in one hand, but I still get people reminding me that they are still waiting on another icecream. It only takes 10 seconds and I haven't told them to have a good day yet.
dreadmuppet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a small tasting room, 10 stools at the bar, and we have a group of 50 people show up for an event. After our spiel about the drinks one lady loudly (and very serious sounding) asks, "How are you going to serve us all at once?"
"We aren't, and guess who is being served last?"
uterinesingularity ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And that twat will never forget it. Long run, you did society a favor.
MartaMartin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I got so annoyed by this question (by regulars who knew exactly they would get their coffee in a few seconds) that I just said 'You know, I was born in the year of the Chernobyl accident, but unfortunately I didn't grow a third arm'.
shimmyshimmyrobocop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this
Stegaosaurus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ask stupid questions get stupid answers
Le-Wren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I still say this to customers willingly so. ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
Drakillya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've said that so often. "I ordered 3 frappucinos!!!" "Ma'am, unfortunately this model of barista has been given 2 arms instead of the newer models 8"
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:20 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Serving trays are your friend.
pufffinn_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first one in this thread that made me actually laugh out loud. Just the frankness of "I only have two arms" is so good jfc.
moonwokker ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 14:29:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you use a tray?
oliveu14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because it was a behind the bar situation at a coffee shop and there were about 6 employees back there rushing around, I didnโt want to risk dropping any hot coffee over anyoneโs back if the tray/drink carrier tipped over.
AllenCapone ยท 413 points ยท Posted at 05:01:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a pet store and we sold those spray bottles for training dogs and cats. Anyways customer comes in bitching that itโs not working and how we are complete scum and con artists stealing her hard earned money so I decide to test it out. Filled the bottle up with water, turned the lock on the nozzle (which the customer hadnโt turned) and proceeding to spray the customer in the face. I stood there for a few minutes with the customer in silence thinking โdid I just fucking do that.โ Then I said โsee it worksโ to try and break the tension... it made it worse. Owner tore me a new one, manager loved it and had the security footage saved to the desktop of the office computer.
ExtraCheesyPie ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 14:15:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, did it work? Was the customer trained?
hpotter29 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 18:00:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA That was my first thought: "BAD customer, not using common sense! BAD!"
AllenCapone ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 15:27:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean yes? She didnโt come back which was training enough for me.
acmhkhiawect ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 12:25:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha omg this was my favourite!
hanazawarui123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too!
danyxeleven ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:43:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this is the family friendly version of Marcusโ intro from Borderlands 2
stevestevetwosteves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:46:06 on April 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I love it
greenPotate ยท 10321 points ยท Posted at 01:51:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer tried to exchange cash with me and I told her no and explained that we can't as a policy to protect against fast change artists. She really suspiciously, in an exasperated voice, was like "but I'm obviously not a fast change artist!" and without thinking I, "That sounds like something a fast change artist would say."
brightshinies ยท 2822 points ยท Posted at 05:59:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
think i had a guy try to quick change me.
he was paying for a pack of gum or something small with a 50. as i was giving him his change he asked for certain denominations back. as i was doing that he changed the denominations again. as i was doing that he started to change the denominations again. at that point i realized i was just pulling whatever he told me to out of the drawer. i stopped, looked at him and just said "Dude".
he kind of dropped his eyes and mumbled "sorry" and i started over, giving him the correct change.
Paranoidas ยท 946 points ยท Posted at 07:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People would try a version of this with me all the time when I used to deliver pizza. They would ask me to break a big bill, usually a $100, then start chatting with me or something while handing me my "tip" without ever actually paying.
squired ยท 182 points ยท Posted at 07:42:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, but you know where they live. Would they just shamelessly say they paid you when you returned with the cops?
Fuzzl ยท 271 points ยท Posted at 07:48:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure where you live, but over here the cops won't put down their donuts to solve the crime of the unpaid pizza.
kidmenot ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 07:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's even less likely they would put down their pizzas to solve the crime of the unpaid donut.
Random-Upvoter ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:53:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's 4am and I want pizza now.
erthian ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well?? Did you get pizza??
Random-Upvoter ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:27:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately everything is closed now ๐ข
Madypoppy ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:52:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great! Now I want pizza, and the only thing I have is some two-day old, cold pizza that tastes like cardboard. Good luck on your hunt.
TheReinsofFullnight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:37:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Put it in a frying pan with a lid. Not too hot so the bottom gets burnt. It will taste better than when you first bought it.
Madypoppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The pizza? Cool!
TheReinsofFullnight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:16:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes!
Random-Upvoter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:56:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
6 hours and counting till I can order some ๐
KaboomBoxer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:50:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heat it up in the microwave but here's the key - half fill a glass of water and put it in the microwave with the pizza. This way the water boils whilst the pizza gently heats and it won't go all soggy.
Madypoppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:50:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What? For real! TIL a LPT! You rock! Thanks!
KaboomBoxer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:59:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No worries, someone showed me it a couple of years ago so thought I'd pass it on.
Madypoppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:05:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt know if you know this trick, but since you mentioned microwaves, and you shared a life hack, I thought Iโd share one too. To clean your microwave really easily, put about a cup of water in a microwave-safe (you wouldnโt think Iโd need to say that but you never know lol) measuring cup or bowl, add some lemon juice or about 20 drops of lemon essential oil, add a few tablespoons of vinegar. Microwave it for about 5 minutes. All that gross stuck on food and splattered sauces and whatnot will wipe right out with a sponge or cloth. I use the water mixture too while Iโm wiping it out to rinse the sponge. That way you get it rinsed out and youโre using the water for extra cleaner. I hope that makes sense. Iโm not so great at giving instructions. LOL
KaboomBoxer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Loving this LPT exchange program. Thanks for the tip!
Madypoppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:19:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐ me too! ๐
Sadinna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:30:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poor some Franks Red Hot on it, its good stuff!
Madypoppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:52:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My 10 year old son loves hot sauce! He puts it on everything. I actually get Franks because thatโs his favorite. I buy the really big bottles of it. So I have some of that. Never tried it on pizza.
SerialSpice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It is pretty easy to make some tomato sauce and some dough and to bake 1. I am guessing you donโt have the ingredients, though.
Madypoppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, I donโt sadly. Iโve made homemade pizza. My mom has a really good pizza dough recipe that she came up with. The only ingredient I do have is flour. LOL
KaboomBoxer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:49:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You see that's where you're wrong, doughnuts they take seriously.
hitforhelp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They may not over an unpaid pizza but they sure as hell should get involved for fraud.
idrive2fast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:21:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand. How does that stop you from throwing a rock through the window of the person who stole the pizza?
emjaytheomachy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:30:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What if its donut pizza?
Ukpoliticsmodssuck ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 12:40:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thats why Americans have guns. Just go to where they live and solve the problem.
DJ_BlackBeard ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:02:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gun-toting, second ammendment loving American here.
Nope. We don't have guns to go murder people who attempt to steal pizza. That's definitely not in the secind ammendment.
Ukpoliticsmodssuck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:14:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then clearly you hate America. If you don't shoot at least 15 people a week you're probably a commie spy.
DJ_BlackBeard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:54:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't tell if you're doing satire of anti-Americans or if you're anti-American doing a satire of "Americans."
But I live in the heart of deep Red territory, where about 90% of the district voted for Trump. I work at my family-owned gun store. There's literally no one that exists that is like that. Like I get that it's "satire," but you're making fun of something that doesn't exist.
theacefospades ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:32:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is like 9 layer Poe's law man. I feel privileged to have witnessed it.
pinkprobleminthecorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:39:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean there are quite a few people who basically hope that they get the chance to shoot someone so he is not so far off.
bnorth9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:49:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing he said has any basis in reality.
hackthegibson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Zimmerman.
Paranoidas ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:53:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No idea, I never fell for it. People would try all kinds of scams on us and I always wondered the same thing.
grOUgh65 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:25:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a gas station for like 2 days and once when I was there alone this lady comes in to pay for gas and a pack of smokes. Wants 25 in gas and the smokes were 5 bucks. She swore up and down I was short changing her so I visually had to show her what she was paying for. I think she thought if she kept complaining she'd get her way or confuse me.
YoungXanto ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:22:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like that's a trick you can only use with a delivery place once. Either you get blacklisted, or you get a less-than-scrupulous delivery driver who wants a little revenge on the next order...
chasethatdragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:21:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah wtf I'm always super nice to my delivery guys and tip well so they come quick next time.
kitchenvisit ยท 618 points ยท Posted at 07:38:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
after reading this i realized someone tried to quick change me, wtf
my till was short on bills and mostly just had coins so it was kind of a pain in the ass to count. this chick came in to buy like $107.95 in merchandise with two $100 bills and because of the weird denominations in my till it took a while for me to count and gather the change. she started to spout random amounts to confuse me, saying she wanted certain denominations of bills that, unbeknownst to her, i was unable to give her. she started to just tell me the "exact" denominations she should get back, like four twenties, one ten, one five, 3 quarters, etc...and then she tried to "correct" herself, and her suggestions began to jump up in amounts, like five twenties, two tens, a five, etc... it got me super flustered and confused and i literally told her to stop talking and told her to follow me to the next till that i knew was fully stocked with tons of cash and change so i could give her the correct amount back. i eventually gave her her $92.05 back and she was so pissed lmao and it never occured to me that she was trying to short change me, just thought the lady was dumb as fuck
jimmyjamm34 ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 08:03:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmao i wish i was there to see that
kitchenvisit ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 08:49:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
she was this oafish cow of a woman who, throughout our entire exchange, was incredibly rude to me โ the satisfaction of telling the doofus to shut up just felt really good, even if i didnโt realize what was going on at the time
Avizand ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 09:26:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
its five am and im laughing waaay too hard at this omg
eareitak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thats exactly what I misread... I cant stop imagining it. Horrifying...
Edit: OARrifying...
Honey-Beezenees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:50:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow I had a similar experience while I was still training and never knew it may have been a scam. A guy paid for $5-ish with a $20 and then started doing what this lady did. I almost did it because I was flustered, but I managed to calmly and politely tell the guy to zip it and let me do my job.
SuperGusta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:08:45 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've had people buy cigarettes with a $100 bill and try that shit. I just give them the normal change and tell them I can't give them their requested bills. So far I've only had one guy try to dispute that.
[deleted] ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 10:02:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Related scam. As a teenager I worked for a time at a subway newsstand. Guy comes up late one night and asks if he can borrow a $100 bill from my register. He will only need it for ten minutes to win a bet, then he will bring it right back. See, he has made a bet with some guys at the bar who told him he would never have a $100 bill in his life. If he wins the bet they pay him $100. Then he will return the $100 bill to me and then he and I can split the $100 earnings 50/50.
Didn't work on me but his confident demeanor suggested it had worked on others before.
Locke66 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 11:33:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just surprised he didn't try and give you a fake luxury watch or stolen phone as "security". That's normally plan B in that scam.
eareitak ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 10:55:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow... that's pretty ridiculous.
emjaytheomachy ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:35:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean it's basically the Prince of Nigeria scam...
Water_Meat ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 12:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a bank and got quick changed once (we'd legitimately never been taught to look out for it and I was a dumb teen), and after that, I caught them literally every single time.
My dumbest one was when a guy wanted to change ยฃ500 in 50's for 20's. and after I counted it out and passed it over, he "counted it" and handed it back and went "Oh no, sorry, I meant ยฃ500 in 10's".
"So you want 500 in 10's instead?" "Yes." "Even though you slipped a bunch of 20's into your sleeve when you thought I wasn't looking?" "I didn't do that"
So then I started counting the 20's he gave back out to me, it came to like, ยฃ380, so I recounted it out to him again to prove that I caught him attempting to steal, and gave him ยฃ380 in 10's. He didn't complain that ยฃ120 of his money had mysteriously gone missing, since he OBVIOUSLY didn't steal it.
"Oh sorry, I wanted 5's"
I told him to leave.
Raichu7 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 09:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had someone try that on me before I knew what a fast change artist was.
I know Iโm really not the greatest at maths so as soon as they changed what denomination they wanted change in I automatically put all the money back and started again as I knew Iโd get confused and screw it up otherwise.
I got really lucky with that because the place I worked at would take any till discrepancies over ยฃ2 out of my pay.
ashleypatience ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:25:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If our tills are off by $15 in a week we get a write-up, and we have a 3 strike policy. It is pretty forgiving but sometimes I do wish I could jut pay the mistake away lol
Raichu7 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:26:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd also get in further trouble if the till was off by too much or too often. The company would just also take it out of my pay.
ashleypatience ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:35:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OH, DOUBLE TROUBLE. Man, that sucks i'm sorry I didn't process that possibility.
fairebelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember it being $5 over/under policy one place i worked. Like if you were over too often you were either fucking over customers or covering up your mistakes. You got like 3 chances being over before they'd start to write you up , but eventually you'd get in trouble.
PuppleKao ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:23 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to reply to any Americans reading this that this is completely illegal in the United States. One of the very few worker protections the US actually has.
I'm not saying it's legal or illegal in the UK, as I obviously don't know, but I figured I'd say something, as it turns out a lot of people are threatened with money being withheld for various reasons from their check, and don't know that it's incredibly illegal for them to do that for any reason. Also illegal for a workplace to disallow discussion of salary. Things I wish I knew earlier...
bimmerbaby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:41 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd never heard of this fast changing before today!
emugirl1994 ยท 77 points ยท Posted at 07:33:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had this happen to me once. A dude had a $100 bill and asked for 5 20s so I counted it back to him. Same dude puts money away & yells at me that I shorted him a 20 because he only had $80. Customers behind me were witnesses so I said "ask them. They have eyes like me & you. Have them verify you cheap scum"
TheRealBananaWolf ยท -32 points ยท Posted at 08:03:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cheap scum? I mean, not saying he isn't, but inappropriate for anyone in a professional setting to say.
Random_Sime ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 08:20:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What about "Rebel scum." In the context of your workplace being a galactic empire?
virtuacor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:26:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"you are part of the rebel alliance...and a traitor"
Insecurity-Guard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:09:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take her away!
iamadrunk_scumbag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What is this from?
kitchenvisit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:37:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
skyrim
Insecurity-Guard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
27 Dresses
GrayWing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:08:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Singingmute ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:48:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bambi.
virtuacor ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:01:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A New Hope. Darth Vader says it.
janktyhoopy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rudy
BIGMc_LARGEHUGE ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:01:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That guy took away any semblance of a professional setting when he tried to rob a person doing their job.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:13:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jjb8712 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:24:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once you start behaving like a god damn motherfucking assdick, you deserve to be treated like the gum under a table.
TheRealBananaWolf ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 17:26:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know man. I get where you're coming from, but I've always been taught to take the higher ground. What is it? An eye for an eye and everyone goes blind? Yeah there are assholes out there, but don't let them make you one too.
Madypoppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:55:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But...he was trying to rip him off...wouldnโt โcheap scumโ be appropriate?
emugirl1994 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:43:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a place where "customer service is #1 priority" so the instant I encounter a rude customer I disregard that & operate how I want. My actions are justifiable because once someone is a douche to me my boss gives me free reign to delegate the manner in which I so choose. Treat me like a subservient & I will reply back with snide remarks back to you. Treat me nice & I will reciprocate. Big advocate of treating others how you want to be treated.
TheRealBananaWolf ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:19:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And aren't you treating him how you want to be treated? I don't think calling someone cheap scum is how you want strangers calling you? That Golden rule is suppose to go for both parties, it doesn't decide just how people are suppose to treat you, it also goes for how you treat people...
And obviously he treated you like crap, and you gave it back. But by your reasoning, shouldn't you have taken the higher road and not resort to insulting? Just thoughts...
emugirl1994 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Normally I could care less about how a person talks to me as I just take it & move on with my day. But when they willingly go out of their way to get me deliberately fired because they have malicious intent then I drop all considerations about acting nice + friendly.
People get fired from my job for stupid things. Stealing coupons to save $2 off an order, marking down items to $4 off when they haven't gone out of code yet. Being under $20 in the till will most definitely get me terminated. I feel like I am allowed to call the person out on the spot to embarrass/shame them over them wanting to rip me off with the possibility of getting fired.
TheRealBananaWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's fair, but that's not treating others how you wanted to be treated, or in a professional sense at all. But again, it's whatever you value more. I don't think calling them cheap scum will help you keep your job, but it does make you feel better temporarily, and that's what matters to you.
PuppleKao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps if she were to try to shortchange a cashier she wouldn't have problems being called cheap scum. But as it is, she's treating the guy exactly as the guy deserved to be treated when guy decided to literally try to steal from her register. I think maybe that's the nuance you're missing here in sticking up for the scumbag.
TheRealBananaWolf ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 15:11:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All I'm saying is that there was probably a better way to approach that. Like "Sir, I ask you to not talk to me in such a way. I am certain that this transaction is correct, and if you have a problem with it then feel free to take it up the ladder, good day"
Instead of immediately falling to their level and hurtling insults at them. Be a better example for the world and take the higher ground.
TheRealBananaWolf ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 15:17:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And I don't think you can find something justifiable just cause your boss gives you the freedom too act in such a manner...
It's not being the better person. But I guess we just hold different virtues in different values. Where I think it's better to have character, you value short term satisfaction of traits as pettiness and revenge.
drphildobaggins ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 08:00:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If people switch what they're paying with half way through, I always take what they've already given me back out of the the till and start from scratch.
atombomb1945 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 11:30:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy tried this once with a 20. He left the store with about five bucks less than he started with.
Penge1028 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an older man try to do this to me when I was in college and working as a cashier in a grocery store.
What he probably didn't count on was the fact that I was smart enough to not only realize what he was doing, but to also be able to figure out all of the correct change requests on my own. He ended up getting back from me exactly as much as he gave me.
Nice try, old guy.
Lougehrig10 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:41:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I havenโt worked yet, starting next week, but my plan is whenever someone asks for money, I take out the last thing they ask for, and before handing it to them, I count it out before handing it to them
Would this prevent quick change scams?
nat_r ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends. A good con will try to fluster and distract you, making you make a mistake without realizing it. One of the things that can help is always keeping the initial cash they give you separate until you've counted out the change. That prevents them from claiming they gave you a different denomination of a bill and you shorted them. The other good strategy is to keep the money from exchanging hands in steps rather than at once. For instance, handing them the bills before you count out the coins for them.
Never be afraid to just start over if you think they're trying something or even if you just lose count. Also never be afraid to have a calculator handy to run the numbers, like if they give you money after the fact, so you can make sure you're giving back the correct change.
trdef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not quite sure what you mean? Take something out if they ask for money? So every customer you give change to your going to be taking their last item back?
Lougehrig10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:49:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, say they give me a 100 and ask for 2 $20 5 $10 2 $5 and 5 $1 and then they say instead of 5 $10 just give me 3 $20 and 3 $10. I would keep pulling out the change they want, keep their money away from the register, and once I am going to give them the change, I count it out to make sure that it adds up
trdef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I understand now. For some reason I thought you meant you'd take something they were buying to one side until they had the change, not the money itself.
Just do as other people have said. Whenever they ask for a different set of change, put everything back and start again.
devospice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:32:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. Had it happen to me in high school. As soon as he rushed out the door I looked down and noticed a denomination that he had requested and tried to get his attention but he bolted. My manager was standing right next to me and saw the whole thing. He didn't catch on either. We looked at each other after he left and I said "I think he just ripped me off." We closed the drawer and cashed it out and sure enough I was $50 short.
OnlyDrunkenComments ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:58:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude I had something similar happen to me! But he was changing all the bills- like giving and taking them from me trying to get his shit sorted or confuse me. I still don't really know which one.
I just said "Wait." And I laid everything on the counter (i think he missed a step, as my drawer wasn't open yet) and waited for him to pick up and hand me an amount to type into the register.
Beastmodehawaii ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude
KayleighAnn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:55:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had one at Walmart. He paid for some little $2 cigar with a $50, then handed me another $50 and asked if I could break that into some $20's, then asked me to change the denominations again. I looked at him and said, nah, you're done. He goes, "you sure?" Yeah. "Ok." He took his change and walked a way. I had my manager count the drawer after he left and I was $20 over.
enigma1235 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:46:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Adam
Davran ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:13:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me once when I worked at McD's in high school. I had the guy's change in my hand and he's like "Oh wait, can you do X instead?" I bumped my drawer closed "accidentally" and then apologized since I couldn't open it again without a sale.
imaginarynumb3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jamaican shuffle
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:02:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're a good dude.... the world needs more good dudes... good on you!
KookieT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:00:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What are denominations?
brightshinies ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
different bills. 1's, 5's, 10's, 20's, etc...
morgazmo99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:28:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever anyone asks me denominations I go for gold..
"$50? How would you like that?"
I say "4x$20, 2x$10, 3x$5.."
If I ever catch someone stupid enough to shell it out, I think I'll have to take it..
spiderlanewales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:24 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working retail, we got a notice from LP that someone in the area was using counterfeit bills. They'd buy something small with a fake 20, and pocket $19 in real cash. Then, the business who turned in a bank deposit with fakes in it looked like the assholes.
FiercelyFuzzy206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:04 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, I've had two people try this to me at my job.
When he was like okay, hand me that I said well sure, let me just double count it...and he goes "Oh yeah, sure, I see why you're the manager!"
Right then and there I realized what he was trying to do.
wiretapfeast ยท 556 points ยท Posted at 03:00:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pray tell, what exactly is a fast change artist?
greenPotate ยท 1067 points ยท Posted at 03:05:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Otherwise known as a Quick Change Artist really depends on who you're with. Basically they try to exchange bills at a cash register like how about you give me 5 20s for this 100 and then while you're counting, change the bill they want exchanged or ask for different values back, while trying to pressure you to make mistakes by chatting with you or saying they're in a rush. What they hope to do is have you give them extra money because you forgot you already gave them the change amount etc.
TeniBear ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 07:12:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lost $50 last year because someone thought I was pulling this on them. They really did mess up and only give me $50 from the $100 they were changing for me, but I had no way to prove it. At least it was for a charity event and by some miracle I was able to afford the loss for once.
EDIT FOR MORE CONTEXT SINCE PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THE SAME THING:
Iโve just realised that in all of my replies I havenโt quite given an idea of the scope of the event, and thus why I felt I couldnโt just ask for a manager to โcount the tillโ.
It wasnโt a tiny little local thing. It was at the biggest exhibition centre in the state, with at least ten thousand people in attendance. It was an all-day charity event collecting money for the childrenโs hospital, with at least a dozen rooms packed full of activities for both adults and children, all of which cost a few dollarsโ donation.
There were about ten people standing behind the windows all dedicated to changing the money from notes into coins, with huge burly security guards standing close by; and I would bet there was no less than $100,000 in various denominations behind those windows. Behind me in the line was another hundred or so people all waiting to go have fun with their kids; and standing next to me were my already-cranky-from-a-long-train-ride 6yo and 3yo.
So no, not really a โget your supervisor and count all of the moneyโ scenario. As soon as I realised she didnโt believe me (or didnโt remember me) I mentally weighed up my options and decided I could let it go. I just wouldnโt take part in any activities myself, just let the kids have fun, and it would pretty much even out in the end.
seacucumber_kid ยท 346 points ยท Posted at 07:17:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You got reverse quick change artist scammed.
Aves_HomoSapien ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:57:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's somebody that works at a gas station near my house that does this all the time. If she's working I just won't pay with cash.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He is not quite good acting.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quiet, you
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
opss
Ganondorf66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or a Robin hood
reliant_Kryptonite ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 07:16:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's enough money that'd I'd have spoken with a manager or director and made them count the register in front of me.
I've had one too many cashiers try to short change me.
TeniBear ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:22:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Problem was, they were literally just there to change money, and not tallying the money in any way. I only noticed a couple of minutes later, so when I went back to say โhey I was meant to get another $50 backโ she looked at me as though I was trying to steal the money from sick children. Which, had it actually been a scam, I would have been. I was much too flustered to do anything else by that point, so I just awkwardly walked away.
SovietJugernaut ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 08:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
See, the problem is you're some sort of British.
TeniBear ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:30:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because British people use dollars...
SovietJugernaut ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was just pissing into the wind, don't worry about it. The phrasing of "I was meant to get" sounded weird to me, and I'm American, so if it sounds weird, it's obviously some sort of British.
Don't worry about me, carry on, my Comrade.
TeniBear ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 08:37:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, Iโm tired and cranky at my kids so I thought you were just being an asshole. I see/get the joke now. Apologies for being snappy.
You were half right anyway, Iโm Australian.
-Reddit_Account- ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:12:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So... Prison British
SovietJugernaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Like I said, I'm American.
Australian is absolutely some sort of British.
I'm sorry for my country, but not really, fuck you, mate.
(Anxiety self speaking now: I am really sorry for my country, this was all tongue in cheek, oh god, if you don't remind us about Seรฑor Bone Spurs we won't remind you about Abbott)
TeniBear ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:42:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, well, you have a good day! Yeah, I said it! Sit on that on a comfy chair, you tolerable person!
SovietJugernaut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, the internet was right: Aussies really don't mince their words.
I will sit on this comfortable chair, but I'll pretend it's intolerable, just to spite you.
Edit: fuck, maybe I'm some sort of British too?
emjaytheomachy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:48:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If they were just just changing money, the till should have had the same amount of money it started with... Which I would assume they knew.
Alienwallbuilder ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:23:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When receiving money for goods you put it on the till before you open it and count out the change and never put it away till the transaction is complete and the customer has their change, then if the customer says you short changed me or I gave you this note it is sitting on the outside of the till- I have had this very scenario and that is what saved me.
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:25:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, that certainly is a good way to do things. Wouldnโt have made a little bit of difference for me that day, but good business sense when working in retail.
Alienwallbuilder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes it is fool proof unless the transaction is past, then you would rely on your method and refute it, because that would defeat the purpose of covering yourself with this habit.
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:36:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm not really in the habit of getting shortchanged by money changers at charity events, so...
Alienwallbuilder ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope same here but I ran an ice cream cart for 12 years and met people like this and was taught this method in cash handling and always knew I would not have finalized a transaction short as I would also count the change into the customers hand. If the ice cream comes to $4.30 and they gave me a $50 note I would put it on the till then proceed $4.30 plus 70 cents is $5 and $5 is $10 and $40 is $50 so $45.70 change and it gets easier and easier with every time you do it.
ZyxStx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:39:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct way of handling cash, never have it leave either party's sight until it has been counted and agreed upon.
Alienwallbuilder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes and if there is an issue found with it being counterfeit for example you definitely know it is theirs and who to ring the police on.
OnlyOne_X_Chromosome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How else would a person handle money? I don't mean to come off as a jerk, I just don't understand what you are getting at. Isn't what you are describing just the standard, common sense way of handling money? Like how else would a cashier give change?
MapleGleam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of cashiers let the register tell them how much change to give. So they're given a $50 bill, they type 50.00 into the register, and it tells them to give $45.70 in change. They toss the bill into the drawer, pull out $45.70, and give that to the customer. Mostly it's down to training, I think - few are trained to do it the other way.
Alienwallbuilder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:28:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No I am not judging you, I am merely stating this method as the standard way to handle cash and to protect yourself and I stress if you via off this standard you are open to abuse.
CyberClawX ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:44:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I say I gave you 100$. You say i gave you 50$. Maybe I'm mistaken, maybe you are, it can happen. But no problem buddy. Just call the manager, and recount the money in the till. I can't wait."
I've done this like 2 or 3 times now. Most times people take me at my word then (usually it's like a 10 or 20 bill though, I don't carry 100$), but then again, I'm a honest guy. I'll also return excess money (which also happens on occasion).
Once this guy gave me the money I gave him, plus the change. I told him he got the change wrong. He acted arrogantly, and said "No I didn't". I was quick to say "you gave me too much", but I wonder if he gave me too little he'd correct his mistake. Maybe my honesty showed him he can also be wrong. Maybe he'll fuck the next person he gets the change wrong with regardless.
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:06:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve just realised that in all of my replies I havenโt quite given an idea of the scope of the event, and thus why I felt I couldnโt just ask for a manager to โcount the tillโ.
It wasnโt a tiny little local thing. It was at the biggest exhibition centre in the state, with at least ten thousand people in attendance. It was an all-day charity event collecting money for the childrenโs hospital, with at least a dozen rooms packed full of activities for both adults and children, all of which cost a few dollarsโ donation.
There were about ten people standing behind the windows all dedicated to changing the money from notes into coins, with huge burly security guards standing close by; and I would bet there was no less than $100,000 in various denominations behind those windows. Behind me in the line was another hundred or so people all waiting to go have fun with their kids; and standing next to me were my already-cranky-from-a-long-train-ride 6yo and 3yo.
So no, not really a โget your supervisor and count all of the moneyโ scenario. As soon as I realised she didnโt believe me (or didnโt remember me) I mentally weighed up my options and decided I could let it go. I just wouldnโt take part in any activities myself, just let the kids have fun, and it would pretty much even out in the end.
CyberClawX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how it was organized. But usually they have a till only each individual has access to, and a supervisor they'll turned all the money in the till to.
Otherwise how would they monitor thieving employees?
The size of the event just means it's more likely to be closely monitored and counted.
I understand the public pressure, but if you think she fucked up, it's not your fault, and I'd have stood my ground and asked for a till count (for any kind of bill honestly, be 5 or 50).
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:30:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah well, all done now and Iโm definitely prepared for if it ever happens again! Itโs been almost a year (Good Friday last year, whatever date that was on...) so itโs not something I still agonise over.
Now, the $50 that dropped out of my pocket in 2008, that still hurts. My Nan gave me that money for new clothes ๐ข
pizza_engineer ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my late teens, I lost my favorite donut shop like that.
Gave the register lady/shop owner a $20, she gave me change for a $10. When I told her, she accused me of trying to scam her.
Great shop, great donuts, but I never went back. It was the closest thing to a break-up I'd yet experienced.
Fuck, I miss that donut shop.
TeniBear ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:22:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Argh, that sucks. At least in my case I could mentally write it off as โah well at least itโs still going to the kidsโ hospital and not into some fat catโs pocketโ - and as Iโve also said, it was money I likely would have donated throughout the day anyway - so it wasnโt too big of a deal.
I also had the luxury of being able to afford it since it was from my tax return. Any other time and I wouldโve been bawling my eyes out trying to find some other way to get my money back (or, more accurately, wouldnโt have had $100 to change in the first place and would only have $20 or less for the day)
Sucks that you lost your doughnut shop though.
grokforpay ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:20:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The corner store by my house overcharged me a few times. I never said anything, but I know how much a few seltzers should cost. After a few times I stopped going. Great job, you fleeced me out of $30, and by now I've spent thousands at the other corner shop.
CyberClawX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you ask for them to count the till? Everyone can make mistakes, maybe she was wrong, maybe you were. Calling the manager and counting the till would be the professional thing to do (even if a pain in the ass)
kerbaal ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:55:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When this happens, ask them to check if they put a 100 in with the 50s. I have seen this mistake made, and caught, several times because the clerk honestly thought the bill denomination was something else...and so put it where the other domination would go in their tray.
Its not a definite but, like I said, actually seen it several times in my life; its a common mistake.
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish Iโd thought of that at the time. Her glare of โyouโre really fucking trying to steal money from dying children?!โ scared me too much, perhaps...
wartzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:01:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ask for the register to be checked/counted. Yes you will probably need to wait a while but if its 50$.... dude
TeniBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve just addressed this in another reply and edited it into my original comment. I really wasnโt expecting to get quite so much attention here haha
wartzz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:18:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
:)
jkell05s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Makes me wonder if the volunteer cashier wasn't the scammer. If it was as hectic and unaccountable as you suggest, someone could easily make off with a nice amount of change, betting that folks assume "its for a good cause" or "I'm not going to make a scene at this family-friendly fun event for the community."
TeniBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs a possibility that Iโve definitely considered, but Iโm choosing to believe it was an honest mistake. If not, Iโll never know about it and can continue believing I gave $50 to help sick kids.
MsSoompi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At that point you should have demanded that they count the till. They stole from you.
BlueNinjaTiger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should have demanded they have their manager pull and count the till
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ไธๆไบค้ฑ๏ผไธๆไบค่ดงใ
emptyfader ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:17:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me and a coworker once. We were both checking out two older gentlemen, each only bought a large soda with like 60 bucks and tried to pull the fast change thing on us. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I knew not to trust a customer with their change so i kept everything separate and thought we both did fine. Wrong. The other cashier was $40 bucks short at the end of the day. I felt so bad for her
ItGetsEverywhere ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:37:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A $60 bill?
emptyfader ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:26:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I apologise, he probably paid in 3 $20 bills then wanted specific change as all part of his switcheroo (it was years ago, I can't remember the specifics)
Scumbaggedfriends ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:33:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The ones I ran into would disappear a bill like magic; He gives you a $100 for a purchase of $2.19, you hand over a 50, two 20's, a 10, and you count out the rest. Without seeming to move at all, the pile of cash either in his hands or on the counter is now missing the $50. He points out there is no $50. Oh, and while you're doing this he's speed talking about some mundane fact about the thing he's buying. I caught two people this way, the guy had been going around for weeks so I recognized him the minute he walked in.
zspamalot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:34:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A good way to counter this is to lay out the money they gave on the side while you count out their change in the register.
Should they change their mind, put back everything you got from the register and give them back the money you set aside.
Then restart the process again.
octopornopus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:18:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. I also confirm the tendered amount, like if the total is $4.99 and they pay with a $20 bill, I clearly verbalize "out of 20." Cuts down on a lot of tomfoolery, like them saying "I handed you a $50 bill".
wildmeli ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:52:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did that once on accident. I won a scratch off for $100 and I didn't know how I wanted it. I changed my mind half way through her counting and left with $120. Oops.
ZyxStx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:42:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That doesn't sounds like something a fast change artist would say. ๐ค
Lord_Sjaak ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:39:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus they should have done this to me when I was still working in a carwash. 9,5 houre shifts and often when it was hot no break. At the end of the day I looked mentally challenged. Somebody gave me 10 bucks in coins and I had trouble counting. If somebody would try this at the end of my shift in a hot summer day there would be no reason why it would not work.
a-cat-named-OJ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:42:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. This happened towards the end of my shift. It was probably like 8 or 9 at night. Dude knew what he was doing.
6 hours on a register my 20 year old mind was zombified and all my life essence was already drained away. He saw me and saw an easy target.
a-cat-named-OJ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:31:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me once when I worked at a grocery store.
Dude came in and bought like a pack of gum or something, and had a $100 bill in his hand the whole time. Basically showing off the $100 so I would have $100 primed in my mind. When I told him the total, he handed me a $10 he had probably been hiding in his hand the whole time, and I grabbed it and opened the drawer and put it in the underneath part where the big bills go, got his change and closed up.
I go to him the change, some $98, and heโs like, โI change my mind I donโt want thisโ and hands me back the $98 and asks for his $100 back. I open up the register and go to the underneath part and see the $10 sitting there and was like โwtf?โ Pull it out and tell him โyou gave me a $10?โ And he said โno I gave you a $100.โ
So at this point I was completely confused but beginning to realize what the fck just happened, I reluctantly go in there and pull out a $100 and hand it to him. (Like they say, the customer is always right. Pft)
I told my manager I got conned and he said not to worry.
People are dirty, man.
nevereatthecompany ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:03:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not your fault, you were badly trained. All the cashiers (and waiters) I've seen put the customer's money to one side, count out the change, hand it to the customer, and only when the customer accepts the change put the customers money in the cash register/purse. This protects against "but I gave you EUR100!". Once you accept the change, reclamations are generally fruitless, most stores I know deny change reclamations as a matter of policy.
a-cat-named-OJ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:28:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Also, I wasnโt even badly trained, they threw my ass on the register and were like โif you have any questions ask Betty on the lane behind you.โ
cachapaconqueso ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:16:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You Made another mistake, you didn't check if the bill was Fake, seriously People hand you 100 and you dont check for fakes?
a-cat-named-OJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I messed up.
angelbelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people think Canadian money looks too colourful and "toy-like" but the sharp colour contrast helps a lot. Also, it's part plastic/fiber composite so it's easier to rub and check if you're holding out multiple bills.
flavored_icecream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:32:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would it work with Euros? Our 1โฌ and 2โฌ are all coins and all the paper bills are distinctly different color and size - wonder, if this makes such scams more difficult?
I'm not actually trying to start a "business", but just curious if this sort of measures make cash exchanges more reliable.
the_noodle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:56:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure they're different size for blind people. The scam is about convincing them to give you too many of a bill, not tricking you into thinking one bill is another.
flavored_icecream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that, but figured that at least color differences might raise an alarm quicker for the cashier if he/she starts mostly has grey bills (5โฌ) or coins and the customer holds way too many red or blue bills (10โฌ and 20โฌ). Opposed to the generally whiteish bills with different shades of green coloring of US dollars (at least 1, 2 and 20 bills have all pretty similar colors)..
Penis-Butt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, it would work with Euros.
The scam wasn't explained very well, as there are actual specific steps to make it trick the cashier in a very specific way at a very specific point in the transaction, and it does not rely on just distracting them or pressuring them to get them to make mistakes in general. Here is a video of one way of doing it.
Hexxman007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:47:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
theres a great version of this done by harry anderson on the TV show cheers,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7ea3KtXlk8
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg someone did that to my coworker when I worked at little caesars, he came in and was super chatty and nice, then he hands her a twenty and goes "hey could I get two tens and two fives for this?" And she gave it to him without noticing
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:03:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TIL!
FuddieDuddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Watch the movie Paper Moon with Tatum OโNeal. She does a great job of it. (Won an Oscar)
https://youtu.be/E2B7ersvsAc
Hereโs the real quick change scheme with her father Ryan. https://youtu.be/iqueZ1KNeT8
ReavesMO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've also heard it called flim flam.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The opposite is the cashier giving you your change back and shorting you a five here and there hoping you wouldnt count your change since there is a line
Eliju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:46:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also called a flim-flam. Penn and Teller have a cool clip somewhere of them doing it to people in Vegas.
Found it https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=l8lsSPshxJ4
branimal84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of these assholes ripped off a co-worker of mine years ago around the holiday season.
emissaryofwinds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, I thought quick change artists were just the "magicians" that change costumes really fast
metastasis_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Second best Bill Murray movie.
chasethatdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They will often slip one or two bills back in their sleeve hoping you don't recount it.
wiretapfeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:57 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much! Great explanation.
SchuminWeb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:15:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me one time, accidentally. I was out with my friend, and she was buying some Nintendo card at GameStop. The card cost $10, and she paid with a $20 bill. She asked for a five and five ones as change, the cashier said, "You mean like a ten, a five, and five ones?" And gave us our change. We realized when we got outside that she gave us $20 back. Mistake in our favor says that we weren't going back in to save her from it.
MonkeyDavid ยท 162 points ยท Posted at 05:19:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to find a great video I saw on this...itโs kind of beautiful to watch when done well. Stuff like, โoh wait, make one of those 20s into four fives,โ when they already took a twenty so they are getting extra.
Edit: here is the Penn & Teller video https://youtu.be/2jYUd2y5nlw
CMLVI ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 05:48:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always got around this by asking what they wanted bill wise, or not handing the money to them until the "transaction" was done and I could recount.
Only had one person in ~5 years accuse me if wrong change, and it was cause her son kept the change from the gas station. Had the money counter out and everything.
thenebular ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:58:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never handed change over to the customer until I had completed counting it. If they requested anything different, it would start the whole process over.
Never had a till that wasn't balanced.
PM_ME_UR_ASS_GIRLS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:33:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do people do it any other ways? The only way I've seen people give change is counting it themselves, then giving it to the customer.
This whole comment chain is kind of confusing to me. Are they giving people their change one bill at a time?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:44:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
webzu19 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:00:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Penn and Teller also did a bit on it during their "P&T: Bullshit" days
3hybrid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:28:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here's one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGF3B3t3TME
voluptuousreddit ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:40:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Took three watches to see that. Before the explanation!!!
LehighAce06 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:34:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Look up Harry the Hat on YouTube, character from Cheers that did this
wiretapfeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:22 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you so much!
Obe4ken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Watch the South Park episode "Scott Tenorman Must Die."
I_Can_Has_Million ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something like this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy75GtKsOAw
wiretapfeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:01 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
StevieRaveOn63 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:02:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funny you should mention "pray" because Ryan and Tatum O'Neal starred together in a movie called "Paper Moon" where he plays a con artist who does exactly this to a woman he buys ribbons from. His character's name is Moses Pray. :)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070510/?ref_=nv_sr_2
wiretapfeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:54:17 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, that is interesting indeed! I've actually seen this movie before, watched it with my grandmother when I was really young but don't remember much besides the fact that I liked it. Looks like I need to watch it again! _^
kriskingle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/oZjZGrSh7KA
Watch the first five minutes..... Great movie, shame the subtitles don't sync with the video...
wiretapfeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:47 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you very much!
moufette1 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:59:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine thought he could be clever and beat the fast change artist. Nope. He lost money from the till over it. Hilarious.
Xholica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Step one is not placing the notes in the till with the rest of them, whenever anyone asked me to break a note or paid with a big note I used to place it either over the coin section of the till or to the side, make sure to hold each note parallel to the counter individually for CCTV purposes. Step two is making a fresh count, so if they change what they want you put back anything you're not giving them and recount anything left over then just add to make up the rest. Step 3 is shut the till leaving their notes over the coin section.
busterbluthOT ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:20:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first legal job in high school had a guy pull this trick on me on my first day! He made a purchase for a small amount, paid with $100 then asked if he could give me a smaller bill instead, while I was counting change. Basically, he wound up getting the $100 plus the change minus like $14 dollars. I didn't get in trouble though, because I called over a manager and even he got tricked. Still, it was a super shitty feeling to happen on my first day. I'm thinking the guy knew I was new too, and that's why he targeted me.
FuIImetaI ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:40:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar moment, a customer showed me her bags and said "Oh don't worry love, I'm not a thief". I too, without thinking said "that's what a thief would say!" She was not pleased. From then on I just stopped trying to joke with customers
kh9hexagon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And yet they can make that same stupid "it's real, I printed it this morning!" joke every time you use the counterfeit pen on a $100 bill.
contagiouscass ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:36:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this why I get suspicious looks when I ask a cashier for certain denomination of bills? I'm not trying to fast change or anything, I just need smaller bills for birthday cards and such.
(I'm a 26 year old with a soul of a 60 year old)
Oolonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. We get about one quick change dickbag a month, so it instantly makes us distrustful. Lots of people are genuine like you are though...the scam wouldnโt work otherwise.
contagiouscass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It probably wouldn't help if I said, "I promise I'm not a quick change dickbag!" would it? lol
_stice_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's the correct response here?
"It's a policy ma'am... I'll get in trouble for breaking it even if i believe you. I'm not comfortable making an exception, i'm sorry"? Would that work?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:34:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rillip ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:59:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hah! And then you're in trouble for making the customer feel like a jerk. Better to just go robot mode. "No ma'am I cannot do that. It's against policy." "It's against policy for me to do that. I cannot." Just reiterate over and over as many different ways as possible. Don't try to explain it further. They don't need further explanation. They know how the world works. The fact they persist shows they don't care if you get in trouble.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How will you "get in trouble"?!
Remember, the only time the customer feels like a jerk is if they keep insisting that you break the rules for them and get in trouble.
If they do that, they are not exactly in a position to complain?
rillip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:15 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers are always in a position to complain hombre.
Easyaseasy21 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:33:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not the same situation but similar.
After closing at my bar every so often we get someone who asks if we can still serve them, and they will say "Its just one drink","I won't tell anyone", or something along those lines.
My response has always been "I can't because I can lose my job, and are you going to pay my bills if I do?"
bowlss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:00:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the great state of Texas, we have the TABC, Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commision to worry about as bartenders. We arent allowed to serve after 2, and all drinks must be surrendered by 2:15. Not only could i lose my job but, i could go to jail and pay a hefty fine. Not worth it.
Easyaseasy21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, that's actually stricter than where I live. Service stops at 2:00, and all liquor must be surrendered 1 hour after last call (latest being 3am).
The fines are huge here too. Like 5000 for the bartender and 25000 for the bar.
TheGraphicT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just hand them the bill back and say โsorry than I canโt accept this.โ
cautiondrypaint ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:05:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
poetry.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:59:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's a fair point!
I've had this argument with friends and relatives who feel like customer service people should have given them the benefit of the doubt in various situations because "I'm clearly not a criminal". That's the whole thing. A lot of criminals are so successful precisely because they are good at pretending to be respectable stand-up citizens.
swworren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why shouldn't you have said that? That seems a perfectly reasonable response, I don't get it
rokudaimehokage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:06:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what you should have said. You're not servicing this person anyway so what does their opinion matter? You're not giving them change, they can buy something or get the hell out.
sappy16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'Fast change artist' is such a misnomer. I think we should rename them to 'fast change assholes'.
jfb1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:24 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
See also: pick up artists
BombDisposalBob ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:34:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a summer job doing security for a very large stadium, every single person who brought alcohol in a water bottle says "That's just water."
Lord_Malgus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:24:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thwn she unzipped her costume and fled the scene?
slkester85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quick change artists are real. I work Grocery Customer Service and there are people that are SO good. Our LP has some incredible surveillance videos from work. People get taken for thousands.
Eternity_Incarnate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You did it wrong.
"But I'm obviously not a fast change artist."
"No fast change artist is obviously a fast change artist, that's the first rule of fast change artistry."
"But if no fast change artist is obviously a fast change artist, then how do I know what it is I'm not supposed to obviously be?"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy try this on me during a busy holiday season. Guy comes up to the bar, doesnt order a god damn thing, and wants me to change $100. So i do, and count it out perfectly in front of him. He comes back and tries to claim that my count was short by $10. I tell him to fuck off, then my manager just tells me to pay him the $10 to get him out of there because realistically it was a small price to pay to get this annoying prick out of my face and let me get back to making my money like a big boy does.
SniperPoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:54:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. I would get into trouble if my float was off by $10.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would normally come out of my tips if my count was off but my general manager was standing by the service bar and saw the whole thing transpire. He was a good guy.
kerbaal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, I witness this once as a customer in line. My friend was doing a show, her "last" show. I was really high, like, I was tripping on some psychedelics high. Just standing in line.
The line is backed up and the guy at the counter is talking to the clerk "I gave you a 20" is where he started. I think the clerk was about as high as I was because, he knew it was a scam, but he was having trouble articulating it as this guy kept going.
Eventually he really did come out with "what a fast change artist would say", and its what really sunk him.... "how about you give me a pack of smokes and we call it even". Back then a pack of smokes was like maybe $5; so he was essentially offering to pay double for a pack of smokes. Which is when the clerk finally told him it was time to go.
RegdarSon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OH SHIT I HAVE ACCIDENTLY FAST CHANGED SOMEONE IM AN ASSHOLE
KamaCosby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah when I worked at a coffee shop this father tried to pull it on me. I kept the math in check within my head. Gave him the correct change. He goes โThis is wrongโ. I said โNo, this is exactly the change you get. You got a $11.64 order and paid with a $50. What youโre holding is $38.36โ. And he just was like โNo, this is wrong. You donโt know mathโ.
โIโm getting a Masterโs in mathematicsโ
He just goes โWell itโs still wrongโ all pissy and walked away with his daughter. What a douche
blindfire40 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So one of my go to jokes is to ask for "two tens and a five" when I get $20 cash back. Does this make me a fast change artist? :(
Random-Upvoter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well you're not wrong.
Shananang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What did she reply with?
communistpsychoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But that's hilarious
_igoby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady tried to do that to me at my first job in high school. I worked at a restaurant she came in asking for change. She tried it, but I'm no fool!
kharmatika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But it DOES
surebertt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of these guys got me when I was working customer service in college. I didn't even know that was a thing (naive 19 year old), so it took me a few minutes to realize how much he shorted me. He just seemed like he was in a hurry, and I didn't even have a chance to process how strange his change request was.
NinjaChurch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard them called a quick-change artist.
chopedsuey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A gut just the other day tried this on me. I've dealt with several of them in the past, they're easy to spot out. I just opened my store and he have me a 10 for a bag of chips. He then told me his friend bailed on meeting him there and wanted a refund. I gave him back his 9.75. He insisted he gave me a 20. I look down, I don't even have a 20 in the till.... I wish I just said no refunds.
notthemooch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always pretend to agree with scammers but "apologetically" refer to the policy.
"Oh honey I knowwww you're not doing anything wrong, but it's the few bad apples that spoil it for people like you and I."
also if you don't leave I'm calling the cops
C9_Lemonparty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you point finger guns at her and give a cheeky grin afterward? That would have saved you
yevmiesterKEVIN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:16:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a fast change artist but I had a customer pay for an item with a $10 and as I handed back her change she told me she handed me a $50 and demanded the right amount back. I assured her it was a $10 but she wasnโt budging. I had already closed the drawer and needed a manager to open my till. Unfortunately for her the lines, were super busy so she was waiting for a good 20 mins.
My manager opened my till and asked me to count it to make sure I wasnโt over (meaning yes she paid with a $50). My till was on point and she was not a happy camper.
I_chose_a_nickname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You brought reddit to the outside world. Never bring reddit to the outside world
KangasaurusRex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:31:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
.
Johnnyocean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's a fast change artist?
robophile-ta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:14 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy was probably legit but it made me laugh...I was doing a security check over the phone as part of my work and the caller couldn't pass. He then repeatedly said 'yeah it's me but' and 'nobody is going to call up and impersonate me'. Not helping your case, bud
thegirlfromthestars ยท 346 points ยท Posted at 02:25:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In college i worked at a hair salon. It was decently priced for socal, but still way out of my budget. A customer asked me which of the shampoos on the floor I used and i laughed and said "there's no way I could afford this stuff." my boss was.. Not pleased.
Now i work at a hospital delivering food. Told a patient to "enjoy, and have fun today!" Before her surgery.
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 16:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once greeted a customer, "What can I do for you today?" and he replied, "You could pay my bills for me!" and before I could even think about it I said, "I would, but I work at [store here]."
He looked completely shocked and then he laughed and now he's one of my regulars. Thank god.
billypancakes ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 15:25:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What are you supposed to do, lie? Not your fault that your boss doesn't pay enough to actually give you the product knowledge they apparently expect.
oldirtdogg ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, upsell the most expensive thing and maybe you'll get a promotion. Probably not though.
Amazi0n ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:01:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, it's kinda the business's fault if they don't pay you enough to buy their own products, right?
thegirlfromthestars ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 18:44:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah like if i make $10/ hour and shampoo alone costs $60 i can guarantee ima use suave or some shit
Radioactive24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:00:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, they're in for a colonoscopy and like buttstuff, so they are in for a great day.
Also, yeah, I know they aren't if you gave them food.
piknick1994 ยท 11627 points ยท Posted at 03:07:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I said but how I said it.
Waiting tables and I get this friendly looking couple. I walk up and before I can start with the pleasantries the guy sees me, and in a heavy Australian accent, he says โhi there mate. How are you.โ
I was thrown off by the accent and by being interrupted before making an introduction and for whatever reason, my mind could only focus on the accent, and so, when I went to respond I did it in an Australian accent โ โnot too bad mate. Yourselfโ.
I realized i was doing it as it was leaving my mouth but I couldnโt stop. I was convinced I was gonna get pinched square in the face... turns out my fake Australian accent isnโt bad. The guy is delighted to meet an Australian. Asks if Iโm in America on the Work program.
Now Iโm stuck. If I admit Iโm not Australian Iโm worried heโll be offended even though I didnโt mean to offend him. If not, I have to play this part for the next hour.
Yeah. I committed to the role. Got a 40% tip though so that was kinda nice and worth the stress.
[deleted] ยท 10737 points ยท Posted at 05:32:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
piknick1994 ยท 4412 points ยท Posted at 05:41:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd actually feel better about that somehow
teacatsweeb ยท 1254 points ยท Posted at 06:26:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was definitely fucking with you. That's fuckin hilarious though strewth
DrumBxyThing ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 06:51:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Strewth?
CozmicZ883 ยท 132 points ยท Posted at 06:51:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Strewth - abbreviation for โits truthโ
Totherphoenix ยท 178 points ยท Posted at 06:53:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That only people who are parodying Australians on reddit actually say.
Source: have been Australian for my entire life
CozmicZ883 ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 06:54:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve been Australian my entire life and I have honestly not heard strewth been said by many ahah
palmtr335 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 07:01:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโll hear it living out bush.
CozmicZ883 ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 07:04:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even going out bush I still donโt hear it, the only fellas Iโve heard say it are Steve Irwin and older Aussie blokes.
INHALE_VEGETABLES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sandgropers say it.
Bitch_WhatDaFuq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Irwin, and Ray Meagher
ktdubb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:20 on April 5, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yes! was just about to mention Alf
PixieDixs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:12:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait...so you have heard it? Just not often and have no idea what the word never means is what you're saying?
Totherphoenix ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:20:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I spent 20 years in the bush and the only people that said it were people trying to be funny, parodying some caricature of Australians that really just doesn't exist.
palmtr335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe just my towns demographic.
hiv_mind ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:36:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an old bikie bloke bump into me at the line for a snag and he unironically said "sorry, cobber".
I still agree you're more likely to hear about our good friend Ken Oath than strewth though.
palmtr335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm trying to think of Aussie slang I actually say. Does gronk count?
hiv_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't heard anyone non Aussie say it.
There's lots you wouldn't even realise was slang though till you travel to another english-speaking country.
Like you lose the whole verb 'to munt'. Nobody is ever munted outside of Aus. There are no munt-buckets. Unfathomable.
palmtr335 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A travesty!
Totherphoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe. I come from a dump, and almost never heard people speak like this. It might be a regional thing. I imagine that if anyone were to talk like this, it'd be folks in a regional NT town maybe. All I know is most of the way in which we are presented to Redditors is just wrong (and embarrassing). We are like discount American-English hybrids when it comes to the way we talk for the most part.
palmtr335 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel you, live in the city now- definitely donโt hear as much Aussie slang.
I get annoyed when reddit jumps on the โeverything in Australia will kill youโ bullshit. USA has bears and shit, we just gotta avoid a few creepy crawlies.
Totherphoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Also living in the city now. Aside from a few casual safety precautions (like keeping our bags zipped up so snakes wouldn't crawl in them, and checking under desks for spiders before sitting down in the morning for class), we likely had identical childhoods to children in America. Australian memes and tropes are boring and embarrassing.
SirJefferE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My 65 year old father-in-law grew up in Barcaldine and I hear him say it all the time.
Of course, his accent is so heavy that it took me a few months of living in Australia before I could properly understand him. Even now, 'properly' just means that he only has to repeat himself on occasion.
Totherphoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The TV-Australians (I.e. a TV character whose defining trait is the fact that they are Australian) usually talk like some of the less educated Australians might have talked about 40-60 years ago. Nowadays we are basically just American-English hybrids with a different accent.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:38:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a local pub in mount isa and never heard it once haha
AkyraStrike ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:41:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or from Alf Stewart
Apellosine ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:52:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit of an old term but i picked it up from my father and grandafether who both say and said it a lot.
aussiebookworm ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have only heard it on home and away and amazingly I donโt watch it
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:01:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because we are literally saying "it's the truth" but Americans talk slow compared to us and hear "strewth".
eyeohewe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never heard it either. I must be Australian.
HuskyLuke ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:33:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lived in Australia for two years and initially was a little disappointed by the lack of stereotypical lingo being used, although part of me wasn't surprised. Then I went out to do my regional farm work and got to hear it all. The folks outside the cities seem to be still partially stuck in the 80's (which seems to be true in most countries I've been too).
girl-lee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:05:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a word used in Scotland quite a bit, especially by older people, well mostly my gran...
Howdoestgisworkyo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:39:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oath or bloody oath is the more common slang now
lanyon-jrg ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:01:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fair dinkum
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, sure is. Lol I say it all the time.
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, and the word darl' Darlin for short slang. " darling" :)
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:02:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then you've been Australian your whole life and never traveled more than an hour inland I guess...
Not that I blame you. Why would you?
Totherphoenix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:03:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I went any further inland than where I grew up, I'd be in the middle of the fucking desert.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:12:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So you know full well that people do actually say "Strewth" in regular conversation.
mad_cheese_hattwe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And my dad.
vensmith93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I'm from (Newfoundland, literally the other side of the world from you) we tend to sort of slur some of our words so that multiple words sound like one, so we have something similar without the "th" at the end. It's True becomes Strew but we never spell it out that way
What are you at becomes Whaddyat
teacatsweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:00 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or australians being silly on the internet for laughs. Or my grandad.
Source: have also been australian my entire life
Luckyhipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ummm but isnโt abbreviation suppose to be shorter than the normal word.
Ashrey2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and I didn't know this.
Horsesnorkel ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:53:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An amalgam of God's Truth. Strewth. Like the bogun equivalent of damn right or totes.
deadnagastorage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's just an exclamation, like saying my god at the end of a sentence.
chownowbowwow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:53:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ya flamin galah thats not stralian..ya fukkin seppo
shwiftyget ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:52:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its slang in those savage lands "British slang, interjection, exclamation of surprise short for "God's truth"
Redruddc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:43:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like "fuckin' oath" or "I concur"
PMYOUR_HIGH_HEELS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:44:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Victorian by any chance?
teacatsweeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:06 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Perth
chaos_nebula ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 06:48:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, he was also faking his accent.
DobbyLovesSocks ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 07:16:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was on a night out I met an Australian guy and drunkenly decided I could trick him with my fake accent and it would be hilarious, and it worked! Then I found out the next week that he had also been faking his accent and thought he'd tricked a real Australian.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All these stories sound very fake or at least romanticized and exaggerated.
Lord_Sjaak ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:40:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never underestimate drunk people.
STR1D3R109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A story like this is 100% true, we go to a lot of effort to keep a joke running.
We also love to exaggerate and see how much we can get away with... ;)
philov ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:03:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I've seen a video with a bunch of people faking southern accents but I can't seem to be able to put my finger on it.
Rainbowyoshi456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Survival of the fittest accents
civileyesation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm actually looking for his comment in this thread
Greeneyes_84 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol as an Aussie I can promise that they wonโt be offended. Iโd think it would be funny. We donโt get offended about shit like that
lanyon-jrg ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aussies don't really offended by much tbh. Unless a seppo or something starts havin a crack at vegemite or Tim tams or something.
Greeneyes_84 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:45:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Didnโt we at some point have vegemite Tim Tams ?
lanyon-jrg ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:48:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah vegemite Cadbury block mate.
Diprotodong ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:16:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that noise
crixux27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Vegemite pizza in frankston mate
Attila_22 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:01:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or cheating cricketers...
lanyon-jrg ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:02:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fresh wound there mate don't you dare start.
crixux27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:52:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck the cricket. The v8 supercars are dead and Holdens become fwd korean nuggets. Talk about the real issues.
lanyon-jrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah fuck that's old news mate.
crixux27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It may be old, but still the real issue. It makes me cry at night.
lanyon-jrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What happened to Holden is a shame but supercars was always gonna become what it is today. Rugby leagues fucked as well.
crixux27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I cant comment on rugby, i was never a real fan of ball sports. I just wish they retired the commodore name with a little bit of respect.
lanyon-jrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah im with ya there mate they just pretty much threw it out on the curb.
jasrenn2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You may not get offended, but you'll damn we'll act offended for a laugh
lanyon-jrg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha classic stitch up.
Delliott90 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:36:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We like fucking with people
Spidey16 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:39:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah don't feel bad about it anyway. It's always entertaining to see foreigners struggle with our accent. I have never once felt offended by people giving it a go.
Echospite ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:10:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Australian and I can't do an Aussie accent. Was raised by a Brit so I get the piss taken out of me for sounding like a Pom.
oyohval ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:35:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should have doubled down and called him a cunt.
80% tip
rockitstomp ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:48:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if you just said you did the accent because you were caught off guard by the accent they probably wouldve thought it was funny and invited you over for drinks since that's just how australians do
sexcauldronss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:59:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The 40% tip seals it. We don't have much of a tipping culture in Australia, that was a "thanks for entertaining me with an hour of a bad accent while you tried not to be awkward"
Nikolaki8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Australians can smell a bs Aussie accent a mile away, Iโve honestly never heard a Yank nail one before
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Case in point: the dude who voiced all the clone troopers in the animated Clone Wars series.
His. Australian. Accent. Made. Me. Cry.
I try to explain this a couple of times on r/StarWars and the overwhelming majority of people (Americans) there shot me down like a fucking mig.
โDee Bradley Baker is actually an amazing voice actor, heโs done this, heโs done that, get over yourselfโ
โ....... um...... well holy fuck Iโm so very incredibly sorry guys..... HEโS FUCKING SHIT AT THIS ACCENT. Iโm SURE you couldโve found a fucking Kiwi in particular to imitate Temuera Morrison (Jango Fett) SOMEWHERE in America. But no, youโre all so fucking DEAF to the Aussie and Kiwi accents THAT YOU CANT HEAR HOW HORRIFICALLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE AT THEMโ
Jesus Christ.
TrueRusher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or an American with a good accent who was trying to trick you, thought you were actually Australian, and then HE had to keep up the act.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:33:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah trust me he was fuckin with you and lovin it. Thereโs a pretty good indicator in the idea that he thought you were Australian too.
Iโm not havin a go at you, but no American can do an Australian accent (an infinitesimal sample of exceptions obviously). Not only are Americans monolithically incapable of doing Aussie accents, itโs like neutron-star-blindingly obvious when someone trying to do an Aussie accent is American; thereโs an earpiecing retardedness that is just unmistakable.
So if youโre not literally a phonetics fanatic and practice that shit every day, AND if you didnโt even mean to put it on, it just slipped out, yeah... 99.99% chance he knew exactly what was goin on.
Donโt feel bad at all though, itโs completely natural for humans to want to imitate the sounds each other make; weโre social apes thatโve evolved with reeeallly complex vocal tracts. Sometimes you just canโt fight like 60 million years of evolution ;)
Son_of_Phoebus ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 07:54:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Outback Steakhouse in the US and an Australian family came in, the whole time they were quizzing me about Australia and I'm just like, "Dude, I just work here. I don't know anything about Australia." They were obviously just fucking with me so it didn't really bother me. They thought the whole Australian theme in the restaurant was amusing.
The_Nutty_Irishman ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 10:54:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That blooming onion thoooo
ScaryCress ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐คค
moidea ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 07:14:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian that has never heard one American do a convincing Aussie accent, I agree.
SirJefferE ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 08:43:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People pay attention to the vowels, but there are a lot of little differences they're never going to get right if they're just casually faking. Things like yod-dropping where you guys pronounce 'dune' the same as 'June', or 'tune' like 'chune'. It's hard to convincingly fake that many sound changes without a great deal of practice.
poo-poo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plus when I'm "having a go" at an aussie accent I slip into british and kiwi accent without meaning to and they all get mixed up together.
challam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I watch a LOT of streaming British TV, which includes Aussie TV. What the hell you people do with your vowels is beyond my comprehension. No offense....just amazement. Have a great day.
myne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:10:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Murican mate says GeDay MaYte
So funny.
7 years it hasn't improved. You'd think the Texan drawl would help him out but nope!
CabbieNamedAxel ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 06:35:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're ruining his story about how he has an amazing Aussie accent
Johnny_Stooge ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:53:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No one but us can do our accents. Some exceptions, sure. But most of the time it's a horrible caricature. It's so off putting.
Hollywood is the worst for taking all our actors and making them American, and then casting the Australian roles with Americans. We can do the American accent because we're saturated with American media. You can't do ours. Please stop.
Capt_Billy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dennis from IASIP is about the best Iโve heard. Although I do enjoy Trey Parkerโs rendition of Russell Crowe, but only because itโs so obviously taking the piss.
Sinful_Prayers ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 06:57:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/gatekeeping
Johnny_Stooge ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:08:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol what. This isn't gatekeeping. I don't care if an indigenous Candian plays an Australian. I'm just tired of the horrible accents. Imagine if you were from Boston and every Boston character in media had a shitty poorly exaggerated accent.
JustChris319 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:13:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know how you feel, I'm Scottish.
TiggyHiggs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:36:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ya the same here in Ireland
Sinful_Prayers ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:14:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh I'm Canadian, most overtly Canadian characters sound pretty ridiculous lmao
Capt_Billy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:56:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian accents are tough. No one elseโs heads flap like that, guy
theducks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah eh, those hosers!
// actually Canadian
//.. and Australian
gurenkagurenda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 14:31:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You could have just said "Imagine you were from Boston".
lcplholt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
From what I have heard most of them are over exxagerated on TV.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You'll be downvoted since maybe this guy is right, but in my experience australian, irish, and scottish people will basically never admit that anyone can do their accent properly. I once argued with a scotsman on how "bad" the main actresses accent was in Brave, and she is actually scottish
jay1237 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How is saying all of Hollywood is terrible at something gatekeeping?
JerseyByNature ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 07:39:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Butthurt guy is NOT Australian.
Johnny_Stooge ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:50:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me? Because I can assure you I am.
JerseyByNature ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 07:54:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't take a joke... Obviously not a fucking canuck
Johnny_Stooge ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:13:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah fuck, you're right. I totally should have been able to guess your tone through a text comment...
kindamaybenot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He doesnโt
Rogue_Teller ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:42:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Half my family is Australian, theyโre all mischievous charming jerks, most likely scenario.
99percentsarcastic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:13:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Source: Am Australian.
now_you_see ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:14:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup. We have a sense of humour that you canโt explain or understand unless youโre an Aussie
boopbleps ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:16:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This. I've literally never heard anyone do an Aussie accent well (especially not Americans).
Source: Aussie who lived in America for 7 years and still sounds like one of y'all.
DaddyJBird ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have to agree with you. My childhood friends who were born in Australia and moved as toddlers to the US obviously developed the American accent. They moved back in their early teens and after 20 years they are still getting called out for being American. When I talk them I can only hear the Australian accent.
I am sure this customer knew the waiter was faking it. Aussies have the best sense of humors.
znhunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something Jim Jefferies would do
Zyzyfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They always do.
pygmyrhino990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As an aussie I can confirm
YouKnowWhoIAm2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Americans trying to put on an Australian accents always speak too slowly and clearly. If you want to sound Aussie, donโt enunciate so much, try and keep your tongue and jaw pretty stiff, and pronounce most words as if you were reading them without the last letter in them
difficult_tree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. We can always pick a fake Australian accent.
Mgunh1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian, I second this message.
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also an indicator that he liked you as he didn't call you out for it :)
Mgoin129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Out of most people foreign to America that would do this it would be an Australian
darkslayer114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He wanted to see if she would keep it up for the next hour
00_SnakeFisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:54 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
real Australians just know the truth
ColonyRuinScavanger ยท 3592 points ยท Posted at 06:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You probably befriended him because you were insulting him, insulting Australians is like chasing a dog, it thinks you're playing with it.
Hughbertous ยท 1330 points ยท Posted at 06:45:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck this is accurate
Guessimagirl ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 06:53:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australia sounds fun
drowning_fish12 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:45:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
say hello to 1kb internet
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:06:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
not even joking here, look up Mate Communicate, I love my internet speed!
TourGuideOutback ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:02:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck?
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What?
TourGuideOutback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:43:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those mobile plan prices.
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only use their internet, haven't looked at mobiles.
TourGuideOutback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
$39 I think for 300mb.
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, heheh, that's ridic, I've got 5GB for $25 and I think that's at the high end price wise. Edit. my mobile is with Jeenee.
TourGuideOutback ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:18:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm on 15gb and unlimited national for $45 with data rollover right now. I'm doing better than my old Telstra staff plan!
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good price for 15gb. Vodaphone?
TourGuideOutback ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:33:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Belong. Runs on the Telstra 4g network (actually a Telstra subsidiary). I wouldn't get service in Roadhouses with only Telstra, but got it from about 400km from Adelaide and all the way from Adelaide to Melbourne so I'm happy so far with it.
AnastasiaSheppard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know about if I need more. As a city based homebody mine's enough for now, but my parents do live in the country.
TourGuideOutback ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm happy with this for now. Once I relocate I might shop around some more.
PowerfulChampionship ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like how they give a range for their speeds lol.
DrippyWaffler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:09:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even New Zealand has better internet than Australia.
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 12:35:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nigeria has better internet than Australia >:(
intothestarz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:30:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australia no longer sounds like fun
ColonyRuinScavanger ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:35:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You saw "Mad Max: Fury Road" in cinemas? That's what a society without a decent internet connection looks like. When I was a kid there was gang warfare over bee hives and mango trees, a common tactic was to throw a spear into the spokes of your enemy's front bicycle tire sending them hurtling over the handlebars.
notgoodatgrappling ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:23:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
everyone has better internet then us
Tparkert14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On second thought, let's not go to straya, tis a silly place . . .
unaki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But everything that isn't human is made specifically to kill you. Like dropbears.
JustHereForTheSalmon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:44:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're just trying to be friendly.
Dioruein ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 06:52:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt<3
Hughbertous ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 06:55:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You fuckin arcin mate <3
Dioruein ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 06:56:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get we're friends now?
Hughbertous ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:59:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
Dioruein ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:00:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Neat
treoni ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:16:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off. All of you mangy bastards!
.
.
.
.
<3
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:22:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Listen, mate....
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:33:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off mate, you wanna get married or somethin'?
(ie: Yes you're mates now. He called you Cunt)
trsam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sup?
strumpster ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This has been happening with my young cat recently. She gets all excited and thinks it's play time when I try to scold her for doing shit she shouldn't do.
I jump up and move toward her "get off the fucking stove!" She's like "yay it's play time, woooo!"
I need a different approach, clearly.
notgayinathreeway ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stern, hand snapping and not pointing. Down. Repeatedly until they get down. It's more tone than anything
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:29:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If itโs more about tone than anything wouldnโt pointing be just as effective
notgayinathreeway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:33:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No pointing is playing. Snapping gets attention and voice gets results.
Susim-the-Housecat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:32:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Use one word commands like you would with a dog. "Stop!" "Down!" while making eye contact, also hissing sound, like "TSST" to get the cat's attention.
Also take care with your tone, if it's something that's just a little annoying use a lighter tone, with a more drawn out sound. but when they are doing something they are absolutely not supposed to be doing, then say it in a loud, deep voice, quickly and repeatedly until they listen, also helps to take a step towards them between each time.
This way they know when you just want them to stop what they're doing at the moment and when they're doing something you don't want them to do at all. I've always done this and my cat knows not to attack wires or beg for food off our plates.
Problem is you might get a cat who will listen to you, but you might have a cat who simply chooses not to.
The_Nutty_Irishman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:55:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Garden hose
CrouchingToaster ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:00:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He wants to tell it no, not make an enemy for 9 lives.
strumpster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:39 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol in the kitchen in my apartment?
ColonyRuinScavanger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pour a beer down the drain, if your cat's face changes to a look of absolute horror you've got an Australian cat.
strumpster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:56 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol
dispatch134711 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Kitten problems. His relentless commitment to sitting on the bench is teaching our 8 year old cat that the kitchen bench is now fine to jump on.
Fishtacoburrito ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:06:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my closest friends is a next level asshole and I love him for it but I can't wait to tell him he's being replaced by an Australian.
Blackforestdoberman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:37:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure this is one of my top 3 favorite Reddit comments of all time
DiniguAhn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:14:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have never heard that โchasing a dogโ bit before. I LOVE IT!!!
wildcard5 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:29:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are an Australian cricketer. In which case you only whine.
squili ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:37:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, Baked Beans and wine. Warney's favourite.
TehVestibuleRefugee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:21:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"it" lol
liddys ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:04:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oi cunt. Howzitgarn?
Luxstrasza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Scarnon?
Hello_reddit_ppl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
btstfn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:10:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So what do you do if you actually want to insult an Australian?
LukeIsAshitLord ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 14:36:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Call them a Kiwi.
dispatch134711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:59 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol accurate
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TIL Iโm Australian.
H-CBuckets ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:52:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eat vegemite like a good cunt, and I'll believe you.
viderfenrisbane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should have called him a right cunt.
Echospite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this is so true. The amount of people I've offended online because I took the piss in an affectionate way...
Nevarc_Xela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, my aussie mate loves when you call him a cunt. It's like he's proud of the title.
Vader3654 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck i miss my australian friends. If it wasn't for all the critters in my boots, I'd move there.. Well, that and they dont want my unskilled ass
Bad-Brains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm American and I act that way
Jisamaniac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Have any more cultural stories? This is a first for me.
Ciordache ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 10:33:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accurate for an island of ex-convicts.
Man_gled_dicks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:53:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You've got the cat by the tail. They were very tight ass and sent people there over the stupidest shit. Not all were crazy killers or whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Man_gled_dicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:48 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very good point, I didn't consider that.
nickjamesbxtch ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 06:52:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He knew you were bullshitting and thought it was funny. Can confirm am Aussie
Baschi ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 10:46:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or maybe the other guy was also faking his accent, and couldn't detect OPs fake. So they both just doubled down.
chase-that-feeling ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:49:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this would be a good premise for a rom-com.
Lily-Gordon ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 07:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can almost guarantee any Australian you met who is travelling would not be offended by this and would likely find it hilarious.
Source: Am Aussie.
TheManicMonocle ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 06:27:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, I always get mixed up when my script gets interrupted. My customer service voice basically goes out the window while I try to improvise.
_Not_an_expert_but_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:15:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel this.
carlz487 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, you have a script? Is it a genuine thing that we should wait for you to greet us before we say hi to you?
swabfalling ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:02:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a literal script most of the time, more just a standard set of lines you say day in day out, so if it's interrupted is pretty jarring.
Ex: "Hey guys! Welcome to Red Lobster. How many today? - what kind of phone are you guys interested in today? - we have x on sale today over in y section"
That being said if you need help, go get it, unless it's a restaurant. For retail 95% of customers are "just looking" and sometimes the workers get complacent about the fact that the other 5% do exist.
The_Koi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:59:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Red Lobster sells phones now?
Sorry I'm just being an ass. <3
swabfalling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Phones and scones! That sounds like a great business model
TheManicMonocle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:50:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! I always used to say, โthank you for calling Dominoโs <city> how can I help you?โ Then โSure, may I have your phone number please?โ Itโs not a company given script or anything, itโs usually a thing made with company guidelines that makes it easier to keep a polite facade up.
Mister_F1zz3r ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 06:43:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When working at a help desk, I once answered a call in an Irish accent. Not a good one either. The call turned out to be kinda important and complicated, and I eventually had to 'transfer' the caller to 'another agent'. Which turned out to be me but with a deeper voice and slight twang. She didn't notice, but my boss did. I was laugh-reprimanded for not treating customers with respect, but "darn it, you make a good leprechaun."
inappropriate_jerk ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 06:58:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once a mate introduced me to some friends of his. I was drunk and put on a Scottish accent to fuck around and they were none the wiser. I kept it up for 3 full hours. I only blew my cover when one of them asked me where in Scotland I was from and I said โhaggisโ. They looked at me funny then the rest of the people in the room who knew me pissed themselves laughing.
gorgeous-george ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 06:54:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can tell you that you absolutely don't have a convincing Australian accent. No one does, not even some Australians. It's far too fucked up for anyone to learn it.
At best, he thought you've been in America a while and picked up the American accent to a point where you didn't really have either. It does happen.
At worst, he was fucking with you.
imverykind ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 07:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Non-Australian here. If an Australian says "Gday mate" and you respond with "Gday, mate" they become really happy. Especially if you are outside of AUS. Source: Gdayed a lot of Australians.
SpaceChook ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 10:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It is a drug for us.
biggreenlampshade ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 12:31:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've never said gday to a fellow Aussie but I love hamming it up for foreigners!
OraDr8 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:01:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We love it when people try to do our accent, especially if they do it well.
Totally_not_Zool ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:59:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you show him your knife?
FrozenCaveMoose ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:47:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs not a knife.
THIS is a knife.
FreakinSodie ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:53:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a knife it's a spoon
SirYandi ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:56:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've played knifey spoony before
mad_cheese_hattwe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a bloody outrage that is.
FreakinSodie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:04:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bullfrogs?! That's a funny name, I'd have called them chazwozzers
TheNerdWithNoName ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:46:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*knoife
mydudexd ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:02:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tending towards 100% chance that they would find it funny and not be offended
A_KEEEEED ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's Aussie spirit he was fucking with you guaranteed
suicidalpenguin99 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:14:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is tip 40% too if I got someone to use a fake accent for the entire duration of my dinner
hkedik ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:43:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This brain fart is called a pattern interruption and is very well studied. We engage in automatic processes all the time that we switch off from thinking about such as shaking someone's hand or giving a high five. We're so used to them that if anything happens differently it can throw our brain off balance and it will scramble to cling on to something.
In your case that initial greeting as a waiter is so automatic that you're mostly on autopilot. So when he breaks that chain of sequences by greeting you, your mind latches on to the first thing it can think of, the accent.
This is actually a mild form of hypnosis as in that split second some people become very suggestible. A hypnotist after bringing someone on stage (by already filtering out who is more suggestible) might do a pattern interrupt in the form of a handshake but then immediately bring their hand up to the volunteers face. At this point the volunteer still has their hand reaching out for a handshake, so the brain is looking for anything to anchor on to. Now the hypnotist will say sleep and persons mind will grab on to that command and seemingly fall asleep.
I've heard of this technique being used in street crimes in Eastern Europe as well - Derren Brown (a British magician/hypnotist) has some stuff on YouTube on the hypnosis and street cons side.
CeboMcDebo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:34:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian here, we know when people are faking our accents, just like an American would know a fake American accent. He was, with the littlest of doubt possible, fucking with you. He wanted to see if you could commit to it for the entire time.
Bravo for doing it, committing that is. He was probably impressed because otherwise he would have called you a Aussie slur, example; drongo, wally, gallah, cunt, dingbat and the most fearful of all if you are friends... mate. Cause in Australia, if your friend calls you mate, he is actually calling you Cunt, but vice versa, if he calls you cunt, than he is calling you mate.
CaptHorney ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:35:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in retail for a long while and I would sometime's randomly slip into a fake accent and back to my regular voice in the space of a few minutes. Not even on purpose, but it sure was funny to watch people do a double-take.
pujillist ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:22:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I canโt believe you got an Australian to tip more than 15%. What a unicorn.
piknick1994 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:25:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I assume he was one of the few pleasant travelers who actually reads up on tipping procedures in a country theyโre visiting
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
piknick1994 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:31:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No no. 40% is clearly excessive and generous. But there are a great many travelers that donโt research American tipping to know you should always tip 15-18% as waiters arenโt paid as much.
I always look up the tipping policy in countries before I go to make sure Iโm being fair.
TvojaStara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I have to do math and shit before I pay for my food?
SpaceCutie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I don't agree with tipping either but doing math before you pay isn't hard hahah. I'm assuming you probably have your phone on you at most times, which you can use, and sometimes there are suggested percentages at the bottom of receipts with the total tip you can choose to put already calculated :)
dangermouse910 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:42:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He knew. He was just seeing how long you'd keep it up
gr8ydude ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:47:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve read all the comments under this in an Australian accent.
Nailclippers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:47:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking with people like that is very Australian.
Madypoppy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:01:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For some unknown reason when I was like in middle school, my older brother (high school) wanted me to prank his friend. He told his friend that he had an Australian cousin, and I guess I also did a pretty good Australian accent because we would talk on the phone for a while. He was totally convinced. I canโt remember the outcome though. I have an uncanny ability to pick up and do accents. Iโm originally from the Deep South, but put me around literally anybody with a different accent, and Iโll pick it up without even realizing it. Itโs odd.
Rick-powerfu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar scenario
I went to California for a work trip and first or second night I booked a hotel in Compton I believe, just right next to the freeway. Best western from memory.
Anyway I get hungry at 9ish or so on and decide to go check out the restaurant across the street.
Figured I would walk it coz it's literally opposite the hotel.
It was Roscoe's chicken and waffles and to me it sounds like not the best pairing of meals but Yolo I'll get chicken and then have waffles for dessert.
Now I get into the restaurant and everyone is staring at me. Really wasn't sure what was happening, but I was the only white person. So I figured I'd do my best Steve Irwin Aussie accent just to make it super obvious I'm Australian and looking for food.
leviathanheart27 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:48:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As an Aussie myself. If you had have just admitted you were joking around, it would have been no dramas. We love a bit of a joke.
N1ck1McSpears ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:54:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is face pinching Australian?
JK couldnโt help myself tho
slushiesandmurder ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:34:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was picturing him pinching his cheeks and saying โlook at you trying do do my accent. Thatโs fuckin adorable!โ
toughshit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's nothing worse than getting pinched square in the face by an Australian.
Hexxman007 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:53:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this is actually a thing in customer service called "mirroring" and it happens a lot. especially with people who deal with others in the south.
Str8EdgeCmenThrwr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:32:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As an Australian, he wouldn't have been offended
haunterrrrr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:50:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
he knew it was fake.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:38:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ssjbardock123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same but for Domino's, tended towards Southerners drawl or Australian. Also answered as a phone tree on some slow days.
Allaboutfootball23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:46:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is comforting. I was overseas and there was an Australian soldier that I held door open for and he said something along the lines of โ thanks mateโ without thinking I replied in his accent โ cheers mateโ. If looks could kill.
a_Light_Umbrella ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Pistachio Disguisey by any chance?
Swarbie8D ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once with an Irish lady who works at the local bakery. She thought I was from Dublin. I havenโt been back there in five years.
Bananawamajama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And he said "Oh! So you come from a land down under?"
imaginarynumb3r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this to a happy go lucky Asian waiter with a heavy accent. He said hello so enthusiastically I replied with an equally enthusiastic hello friend. I knew my fucked up when I saw the people I was with faces. I wanted to commit sudoku but all I had was chop sticks and didn't want to let anyone correct me and say its seppuku. I just over tipped instead.
krazyeyekilluh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was a fake Australian, and you both were faking the accent. Lmao.
kharmatika ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no I had that happen with an Irish musician once. I had literally just come back from a LARP where I play an Irish street urchin, and we headed to the Dubh for a pint, and there was a guy playing there. Walked up, told him I loved his music, and he goes, oh thank you what parts are you from, and in that moment, I realized I was still talking as my character, and was just like โuhhhhhh Boston...โ and bought one of his CDโs and ran
Rohaq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did a phone tech support job once, and towards the end of one of my last shifts before leaving, I was putting on accents on the phone for shits and giggles. I'm pretty good at imitating accents, people in the office thought it was funny, and as long as I was still doing my job, they didn't mind.
The problem was I was still using my name. A customer who called earlier rang back, and at this point I'd switched to another accent, and he remembered who he'd spoken to.
...I should point out that I am neither Welsh, nor Irish.
So I had to spend the entire call pretending that I was in fact another person of the same name, that I knew nothing of his previous call, that I'd have to read his account notes to catch up on his issue, etc.
I got away with it too, but I must admit I was a little worried that he'd catch on at some point during our 20 minute call. God knows what he'd have thought if he'd called back again, only to be met with a third person from another country with exactly the same name.
PM_ME_UR-DOGGO ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once tricked two Australians in a McDonaldโs in Leeds to share their chicken nuggets with me by using my fake Australian accent.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
911porsche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:30:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's G'day mate, ya drongo.
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah realised my spelling mistake ect. No need for you're smart arse remark.
911porsche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:44:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โปyour smart arse remark, ya gallah
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's your problem? Asshole!!! You like picking at women??
911porsche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โปpicking on, ya cunt.
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha yeah right! Haha thanks for the laugh *mate.
millennium777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Any mention of dropbears?
Easy_Toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to god I thought this was going to end up with you pretending to not know what a potato is
RefinedBulbasir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this legit got me to laugh out loud
CrazyVirgo83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
G'day mate! I was meaning. :)
Kevin_Malone11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in an Australian accent.
aussiebookworm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To make you feel better he wouldnโt have cared and probably would have found your embarrassment funny
jimmyjamm34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this reminds me of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret
angry_snek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing haha
ZombyTed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Convinced a one night stand a buddy and I were Irish immigrants in the US army working on our naturalization like this. We'd been watching Boondocks Saints during pregame.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the_magic_pudding ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We all do! Mirroring is a subconscious attempt to make the other person feel comfortable in the conversation
totoyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is great.
Art_Vandelay_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You cheeky cunt.
bearded_booty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That happened one time at Starbucks. Our drive through person was being silly and using random accents. When she used Australian it was an Australian couple driving across the US for their one month long happy retirement vacation. They were super cool about it!
FrozenFirebat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Read the last line in an Aussie accent. couldn't help myself.
JackRyan13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read every line in an aussie accent
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What you did isn't uncommon, or even rude if understood. It's our brain's weird way of trying to make an emotional connection with the other person.
Dyemond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, when I did 6 months of consulting my wife made fun of me when I got back because I had picked up and Australian accent while I was over there. Took about 2 weeks to get rid of it completely.
And I still use terms like mate and no worries that I never used before the trip.
littlesnappea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Last night at work I had a table with a British woman, so naturally I went back to the kitchen and spoke with a British accent while I turned in her ticket. The dishwasher, overhearing this, dares me to speak like that at her table the rest of the time she was there. Being bored and kind of an asshole I did it. She never mentioned it, but the bartender overheard and started doing a horrible cockney accent, not realizing that an actual British lady was there and I wasnโt just being my usual weird self. The things servers do to entertain themselves.
Agu001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's a potato?
Battletyphoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I started reading this in an Australian accent after the words 'Australian accent'.
OnlyOne_X_Chromosome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that is a great story man. Thanks for sharing it. I feel like he was definitely messing with you, but I want to suggest another possibility.
Maybe he wasn't actually Australian either. Maybe he just wanted to mess with his server. But then when you replied in the Australian accent, he felt like he had to commit or risk offending you. So you guys both faked accents and then both felt you had to keep up the ruse to avoid offending each other. It would explain why he didn't recognize that your accent was fake, and it would explain the vague question about the "work program."
FedoraFerret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm good at accents, so during my short tenure as a server I did exactly this. Always walked away with big tips.
Chingparr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mate, you deserve a slow clap.
ManofDapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve done this exact thing. Thatโs crazy.
This English woman came into the gas station and spoke to me while I was ringing her up. Without even thinking i said โwould you like cash back?โ in an English accent.
Mine is not as good as yours. The look I received made me so embarrassed. Iโm so glad I didnโt have to wait her table like you and that she just left and I never had to see her again.
re_nonsequiturs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he was faking too and gave you the tip for playing along.
Kh2008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better, for whatever reason my customer service voice sounds slightly southern and it usually comes out when I'm speaking with customers from the south. (it's like a North Carolina accent. Then they ask me where I'm from and it's always awkward to say New England.
UbeTyranny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have for sure done this before, but reversed roles. Waitress, very attractive, had a British accent and I was so dazed that I unconsciously replied in an accent. I committed to the role while trying to keep my responses to a minimum.
MidnightRanger_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this subconsciously and it's always awkward. I'm not the best at conversations with people I've just met so I think my brain just goes "copy what they do and nothing can go wrong" except for the part where I accidentally copy accents or words that aren't in my dialect too...thanks brain
yarrpirates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We fucking love it when a foreigner does an Aussie accent. No matter how bad it is! Movies and tv don't count of course.
averagejoereddit50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:05:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you. He probably wasn't an Aussie either. Aussie's don't say "Mate", they usually refer to each other as "cunts."
BootlegFC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something that happened to me and a friend several years ago. We went out to a restaurant one morning and our waitress was an Irish immigrant. My buddy kept giving me funny looks as we were ordering and when our waitress left to put our orders in he looked at me and said "Dude, do you even know wha you were doing?" I didn't and said so and he told me I had had a perfect Irish accent the entire time I was conversing with the waitress. Turns out I tend to pick up accents very quickly when speaking to someone with that accent and as long as I don't intentionally attempt to use an accent I come off as a native. Used to have tourists ask me for directions when I was out on liberty in foreign ports.
Prince-Lee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In one of the DnD campaigns Iโve played, our GM was Australian (we played online using Roll20).
I was asking him to do... Something, and he said no, and then I said โplease mateโ in some weird hybrid-Australian accent. I didnโt even mean to say it, especially not in an accentโ I just blurted it out.
Everyone in the voice chat laughed their ass off.
I still didnโt get to make the roll.
wingus__dingus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was housesitting for my uncle in a more posh area of Melbourne and popped down to the shops to get something to make for dinner. When I was waiting line there was a lady with just an armful of groceries standing in front of me. She really should have had a basket but because she didn't something fell, and I just picked it up for her. She thanked me and started chatting but she straight up talked like this. It took all of my willpower not to crack up.
Unexpected accents can really catch you off guard.
Megafeto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I want to meet that guy
Luger1945 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely laughed I appreciate this
meekamunz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did the same in Bristol with a Bristolian accent, my mate with me can only turn and stare as I fumble a Bristolian accent throughout the entire conversation with a Bristolian.
limache ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should have just said โFuckin strayaโ
grokforpay ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:23:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone is saying he knew. I'm willing to bet HE was faking it, and was thinking "Oh shit! I might get called out, I met a real Aussie!"
_hayhay ยท 1516 points ยท Posted at 01:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman got mad at me after i didnโt tell her that one of the items i rang up was full price. I told her โwell i canโt read you mind, can i?โ She was sooooo mad, livid. But dont act like i know your budget or how much you want to spend. The screen is right there so show you how much all the prices are. And Iโll gladly take something off if you donโt want it.
Just quit my job in retail after 5+ years yesterday, so cheers to that.
Edit: word
thottumharvey ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on getting out of retail! It is a cold and dark place.
miabelo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:35:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on that! I quit retail 2 years ago. On my last day in the shop I was sooooo done with dealing with stupid people and couldn't bring myself to humour anyone anymore. Ended up serving this absolute wagon of a woman who told me to shush when I asked her if she needed a bag because she was on the phone to her daughter at the time. Before she left she told me I had a bad attitude and shouldn't be working in retail. I replied 'Yes, I know.' My manager thought it was funny, thankfully.
PM_ME_YOUR_MALAISE ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:07:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โWagon of a womanโ. Love it, Iโm using that. Congrats on getting out.
ClashQuester ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:22:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After she shushed you, you should've said "Oh I guess you don't need a bag" and then dropped all of her stuff on the floor
SANTICLAWZ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:37:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah! Phuck retail!
Neversexsit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This comment really phucked me up. The comments below this looked strange and messed up my whole vocabulary... did a double take on congrats and quitting because I swore they were not real words.
goldminevelvet ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:07:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Grats on quitting. I'm hitting that number of years soon. I hope you never have to work another job in retail.
RayTheBear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:03:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats on quitting retail!
Aucklandman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:55:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Congrats! What's next for you?
_hayhay ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 13:34:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! Iโm graduating from one of the top fashion schools in the USA this May (no shame in bragging about it) and Iโm currently working for a fashion consulting firm. So Iโm not completely out of the fashion industry, just out of the super shitty part lol
p_i_z_z_a_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar recently, except I'm a server. A table asked if I could do an order of nachos with half chili/half chicken, and I said "well, we can do a half order of chili nachos, and a half order of chicken nachos if you like?" They agreed and then ordered their entrees too. They happily eat their food, and then ask for the check. When they see they were charged for two half orders of nachos instead of one full order (which ends up being $4 more than the full order alone) one guys becomes irate and demands to know why I didn't tell him how much it cost. My immediate response was, "I didn't tell you how much anything cost."
He wanted to speak to my manager.
_hayhay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:46 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that is so annoying! Like, people don't realize it's never that serious.
MrPureinstinct ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:10:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Glad you got outta there! I was in retail for about 7 years and the day I left retail for the last time was absolutely amazing!
thehorrorofspoons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well done!!!!! I quit mine two months ago, it's just a great change :)
dirtypaws2020 ยท 2286 points ยท Posted at 03:10:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I shouldn't have done that" actually. I was rinsing beer glasses behind the bar with one of those giant, high pressure sprayers that kind of look like a small shower. A guy was mad that we wouldn't return his girlfriend's obviously fake ID. He looked like he was about to come across the bar. Without thinking, I turned, still holding the sprayer and hit him full on in the face. He left. I didn't get fired.
PurpleSailor ยท 408 points ยท Posted at 06:59:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tended in the past. One owners view was if they come across the bar at you you're allowed to kick the shit out of them with no problems, just try not to kill them.
[deleted] ยท 149 points ยท Posted at 08:03:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB3n9Juh_f4
The two women pleaded guilty, and the guy cleared of all charges, thankfully. But still fired.
GoonerKitten ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 10:33:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The woman at the end screaming "STOP. STOP. STOP IT" makes it for me tbh like what exactly is that going to do?
jeggo ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 11:25:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Of course it's a middle-aged white lady..... She looks like what I imagined when I first heard her screaming lol
[deleted] ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 18:00:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of racist
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 18:24:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
marco262 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Makes sense the girls getting beaten behind the counter and the guy doing the beating were all black, too.
Makesaeri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian airport security does "random" security checks. From my observations, middle-aged white women with large handbags are one of their target groups.
Joe_Bruin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao it's such a white woman thing to do. She literally stamps her feet as if she's upset they aren't listening to her screaming.
Bitch what do you think that is going to accomplish??
aard_fi ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 11:29:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just searched a bit about that, this lady seriously sued the store owner for damages due to creating an unsafe customer environment, and initially got a ridiculous amount awarded, which was appealed and overturned end of 2016. Didn't find any updates after that.
That's the kind of lawsuit that makes the rest of the world shake their heads about the US. Once they went over the counter attacking the whole thing was self defence, so it just becomes an "excessive force" argument. Prosecution from criminal law side answered that with "not excessive", so I can't comprehend how you can get that kind of civil law judgement afterwards.
idrive2fast ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 15:39:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that was SO satisfying to watch. I love seeing idiots pick a fight with someone only to get their asses kicked when the other person turns out to be much more aggressive in a physical confrontation.
ispeakaengrish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:47 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Any good recommendations?
Love me a good justice boner
Deleriant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:49 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/JusticePorn
There's usually no verifiable context though, so make of it what yuo will.
raquille- ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 16:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i havent seen this before- I found it both hilarious and hunger inducing.
With all the employees distracted that would have been the perfect chance to steal some apple pies.
EpicBlinkstrike187 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 16:58:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yea and end up getting beat down like the two women, no thanks I'll pay that dollar for my pie.
TheAsianTroll ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:34:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because people will twist it and basically say "so they let a violent jackass stay at his job??? Awful place!"
tzenrick ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 11:03:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I'm concerned, once someone crosses from "customer space" to "employee space," it's either attempted robbery or they need a T-shirt and a W-4.
NegroConFuego ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 14:09:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I love that rule so much. I run a bartending catering company and the amount of people that think it's okay to just walk behind my bar is baffling. It's usually for just no reason too. I think a lot of DJs can sympathize. It's just a bizarre thing to do. When I worked restaurants people would just walk through our kitchen and be bewildered when we'd say it was against restaurant/city health policy to just let people off the street take a stroll around the food
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 06:35:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It still hits me awkwardly that some places allow you to take the ID and keep it.
SithWookie ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 07:24:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A bar I worked at used to get paid for each fake ID they turned over to the police, something like $50 for each.
PM_ME_DANCE_MOVES ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 09:33:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, if it's a real ID, you can just call the police and have them request it back from the bartender
nightcallfoxtrot ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 14:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man that would still be so irritating. Sure you could probably get it back, but around noon the next day
PM_ME_DANCE_MOVES ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:41:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, from the police officers perspective, it's should be a pretty quick procedure and they get to really bust the person's balls if the ID is a fake and the suspected person called the cops. Either its a mistake on the bartenders part, or hilarious for the officer and would likely get resolved by the end of the night.
CaskironPan ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 07:44:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Most places give you two options: let the bar keep it, or call the cops and they'll inspect it.
The idea being that in the event that the bar messed up, the cops will get you your ID back. But I've never even heard of that happening.
theducks ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 07:51:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
SIL had her real ID taken once and had to call the Police to get it back (in fairness.. she did look about 16, despite being 25 at the time)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:44 on April 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How long did it take for a cop to show up? I would be so annoyed
ladut ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:50:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a liquor store in Indiana. What I was told was that we can't technically "take" anyone's ID, but if they left it there for us, that was OK. So we were encouraged to say stuff like that, but if they just walked off with it, there was nothing we could legally do.
We got like a $50 bonus every time we got one though (I think the store got $100 for every one they turned in, and they just split it with the employee), so that was nice.
idrive2fast ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:56:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you - I was just commenting to someone else that you should press charges if some retail clerk tried to steal your ID and only give it back at the direction of a law enforcement officer. Theft is theft, even if a cop makes the thief give back the stolen property, and even if the thief was operating under the mistaken assumption that private possession of the property at issue was illegal and was intending to turn said property over to the police.
Invisophil ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 12:58:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mother updated my license two weeks before I turned 21 because I was at college and the letter was sent to my home address. So for the last 3 years (I'm 24 with a full beard) I present my 17 year old face to bouncers and bartenders. Anyone who gives me a hard time I tell them to call the police
the_goodnamesaregone ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:02:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about your specific location, but where Im from, if your appearance changes significantly, I believe you're supposed to get a new one.
idrive2fast ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:57:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like that everywhere, it's a basic requirement for a functional picture ID
sirthunt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm 29 and my ID picture is the same one I took for my very first license at 16. Multiple address changes and renewals and theyโve never asked me to retake the picture so I just keep using it.
Arklelinuke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:57:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 21 with the Under 21 ID that I'm stuck with until 2020 when it expires. Have yet to have any problem buying alcohol with it though.
idrive2fast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:53:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that - you should be allowed to press charges against a bar that takes your legal ID and refuses to give it back "until a cop verifies it's real." And no, I'm not saying sue them (you have no damages since you got your property back - unless you wanted to make some stupid "emotional damages" claim), I'm saying press criminal charges for theft, harrassment, etc.
Imagine if a store clerk who suspected a customer's purse was counterfeit was allowed to confiscate that customer's purse and refuse to return it unless the customer called the police and had them come down to the store and inspect the purse to verify it was real? This is basically the same thing. Retail and restaurant employees are not law enforcement officers, do not have police powers, and have no legal immunity allowing them to confiscate private property they suspect is contraband without incurring criminal penalties.
Cheesy_Potatoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:10:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That analogy is not a very good one. If you have a strong suspicion that an ID is fake and that someone is using it to break the law (ie. drinking underage) in your establishment..then you should have the right to confiscate it. Especially since underage drinking puts an entire business in jeopardy.
Now you should probably have a good reason that the ID looks fake other than "oh she just looks too young."
idrive2fast ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:46:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. Private citizens do not have the legal authority to confiscate someone else's private property based solely on a suspicion that the property is illegal. As others have pointed out, you would have the right to refuse service to someone who was using what you suspected to be a fake ID, but you would not have the right to take their property and refuse to give it back. Why? Well, if your suspicions are correct, you're fine because the ID is illegal. But if you're wrong (and there is no way to guarantee you aren't wrong), you've literally just stolen someone's private property, and mistakenly believing their ID to have been fake does not absolve you of the theft.
CaskironPan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that's true, but generally speaking it'd be a huge pain in everyone's ass if someone confiscated a real ID from the owner.
Often, when places suspect the id is fake, they ask you to repeat info off it. If you get it right and they still doubt you, they ask for other forms of identification (school id or smth). If you don't, then they break out the book. The book supposedly gives pretty foolproof ways of checking ids from any state.
That's the SOP most places I've been to follow, ymmv, but I guarantee you they almost never confiscate real ids.
Graffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being in possession of a fake ID isn't illegal though. Using it to break other laws is. You can refuse service because that's not illegal even if it's a real ID but in the event it is real and they decide they want to leave you're illegally holding their property.
Obviously if it is fake ID very few people will actually wait for the cops to get there since their broken law is a little worse than the bars.
CaskironPan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being in possession of forged government documents is absolutely illegal...
Graffy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on the state you can claim it's just a novelty ID especially if it doesn't actually have the holograms and stuff.
CaskironPan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hm. Well, yeah, you can claim that... but A) in what situation would a bartender ever see that ID? and B) good luck convincing anyone of that if it doesn't say "fake" or something like that on it.
There's a reason most fake money has something to the effect of "not to be used as currency" written on it.
Graffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you're showing it to a bartender then you're breaking the law. But if you just have it in your wallet and get arrested you can just say it was used in a movie you did or you just wanted a funny name.
Most fake IDs aren't really passable under any kind of scrutiny. It's like having a novelty license plate it looks similar enough to a real one but if you really check it would be obviously fake. Possessing it is legal, using it on your vehicle would not be.
CaskironPan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Again, yes, the argument can be made, but it's not bulletproof. It may not be illegal, but it sure as hell isn't 100% legal. This is something like a legal grey area; you could still be found to be breaking the law, with just possession.
It's up to police officers to decide to press charges. So it really depends on how 'convincing' the ID is. If it scans, or has watermarks, or any other imitated 'security' features, the 'novelty' argument will literally get you no where. If you carry your novelty ID on you, it's very nearly illegal. The reason being that if isn't noticeably fake without careful examination from a trained eye, then the case can be made that you are committing fraud just by having it on your person.
If it says 'fake,' or some variation, then you have a chance, but honestly, I wouldn't try it.
kleepup_millionaire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:33:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it most certainly is illegal.
robin8118 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 07:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in a midwest college town for a couple years before I turned 21. There isn't a whole lot to do in the area except go out to house parties or go to the bars on weekends with your friends, a lot of people I knew had fake IDs. I always considered getting one just to be in with the crowd but I was waaay too broke lol (I barely drink now so wtf was I thinking.)
Looking back it is pretty weird that bars would confiscate the IDs they thought were fake, but I can attest there were a fuck load of 18-20 year old college kids trying to outsmart the bouncers every night... Sort of justifiable I guess?
Leegala ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:13:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This screams OU.
Cheesy_Potatoes ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:12:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohio or Oklahoma? Works with both I guess lol
Leegala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:32:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohio lol but I agree.
robin8118 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You were close! My experiences are from Indiana ๐
blippityblue72 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:02:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My college roommate was a bouncer. One of the other bouncers confiscated a Military ID. That didn't turn out well when the Military Police turned up later to get it back. I don't know the full story but I know they were told to never hold a military ID again.
stevestevetwosteves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:33 on April 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ooohh shit I'm sure that guy got torn a new one. You're not even allowed to take a picture or make a photocopy of a military ID, there's really strict rules about them
DrumBxyThing ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live, the bar will just refuse them and then call ahead to the other bars in the area to let them know about the person.
Graffy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the "by the book" way to do it. You reserve the right to refuse service and you don't steal anyone's property. It's like someone parking their car in a red zone. It's there illegally but you can't just drive off with it.
Brudaks ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:04:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I understand that in USA there's a bunch of fake ID'ing due to alcohol age laws, but isn't that crazy illegal?
I mean, where I'm from, attempting to use a forged ID is a quite serious criminal charge, more than common theft (IIRC it was up to three or five years jail), and it's quite rare; and any such disputes would get reported to the police.
willgreb ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:49:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, not really serious at all. When I was in college literally everyone had one. Bars turned a blind eye. I almost think schools encourage it because it keeps kids from having sketchy/unsafe house parties and pissing off locals with loud music.
krabbby ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So for the ID itself it will depend on the state, but you'll usually just get a heavy fine. Especially if you're just using it to buy alcohol, no ones going to go after you hard for that.
It's when you use it for things like identity theft or something important that you'll run into trouble
idrive2fast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How would you be caught? You aren't gonna give the fake ID to the cops. If some bouncer took it and called the cops, you just walk away before the cops get there and they have no way of finding you because it was a fake ID.
Brudaks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Any ID tends to be verified at the point of purchase, so the name would have to match the name the (real) card you'd be paying with, and it also has your face on it. But as I said, fake IDs just for age verification purpose is not really a thing here, it's tricky enough to fake them (only one form of ID, unlike USA, and about as easy to make convincing fakes as making fake cash) so they are quite rare and tend to appear in more serious cases - e.g. human trafficking, fake identities for organized crime, etc; not by random students.
Vaelin_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I would have paid with cash if I had a fake ID. Less likely to be caught and all that jazz.
crestedgeckosarecute ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:41:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually did this to myself, i went to rinse off a spatula and sprayed myself in this face. 10/10 do not recommend that shit was hot af water
TheManicMonocle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:28:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Legendary.
Asmo___deus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually hilarious.
RyTheMusicAddict ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining this happening with you holding a completely straight face and it makes it 10 times more hilarious
Ficulinean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, high pressure sprayers can do some serious damage. Nothing wrong with the 'target', in this case, but please, always know where you're pointing that thing.
dirtypaws2020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be honest, a few hours after posting I realized that I probably aimed for his chest. And it was 20 years ago so possibly pressure sprayer technology wasn't what it is today.
Ficulinean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:01 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that decreases my anxiety about this a lot. Face skin is thin skin, after all.
Dexaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't care if it's a squirt gun, always know where you're pointing that thing.
FiercelyFuzzy206 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:52 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just be careful with that. At least in my state (PA) that is still considered theft.
uga11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:14:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our tenders are taught to point blank tell them "get out of my bar and I'm keeping this"
[deleted] ยท 7284 points ยท Posted at 20:57:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 1852 points ยท Posted at 01:32:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
*EDIT* Oh God, what have I started?
[deleted] ยท 662 points ยท Posted at 01:40:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Foxehh3 ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 02:02:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 234 points ยท Posted at 02:41:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bezere ยท 152 points ยท Posted at 03:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 03:12:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PM_ME_UR_KITTYS_PLS ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 03:31:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 200 points ยท Posted at 04:02:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dreamlike17 ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 04:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 04:24:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Tepigg4444 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 04:27:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:46:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
the-floot ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:44:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
omar1993 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:32:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, might as well; although stealing InverseHivemind's gimmick could send me to hell!
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
omar1993 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:19:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, I thought you were done? Oh who am I kidding? Who can stop such fun?
xXstumpsXx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:01:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
omar1993 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I am! Yes sir, indeed! Although how I far I push this depends on my greed...
SamAcarious ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:01:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
omar1993 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:06:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did I? Yes I did. My next ryhme might be born of the highest bid!
inupvotes
DANTEDEFAULT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:54:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
omar1993 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Goodness, at this point, I'll be out of cards to play...I jest good sir, I jest, good day!
the-floot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:56:25 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
AurumXIX ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:55:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking love this. One of the most entertaining threads.
Rob_Cartman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:00:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware of the Streisand effect?
jimmyjamm34 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:07:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OP pls? we need more
SinisterWaffles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:41:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Extremely well done. Bravo!
YesItIsMaybeMe ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:19:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Although their rhymes were sublime, they ain't got no more time.
FlyOnTheWall4 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:35:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
KcajDoesStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No they were not, now they're feeling like a hot-shot
Gadetron ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:00:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"this guy fucks"
-probably some ducks.
Edit: fucked up a simple rhyme, the key to a great pie is lime.
CapnBludd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:04:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ducks*
intimatebadthoughts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*two rhymes!
smaster7772 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
simonis7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cut it out dude, that's rude.
dreamlike17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit dont pitch a fit
Madypoppy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:08:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Woah...you guys really know how to go with the flow...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:34:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for waking up your boyfriend :c
by continuing on this void trend.
(oh, and I hope you turned the notifications off by now, sleep well you two ๐)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:53:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favourite out of all these because the rhyme is in 2 words
complimentarianist ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:27:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
leggothemeggo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:51:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No more rhymes, you orange!
jesseleetats ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:56:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd leave but I broke the door hinge!
intimatebadthoughts ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:07:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Impressive
leggothemeggo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed!
CapnBludd ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:05:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He is the hero we need.
james_marcross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
CapnBludd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:32 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love you...
leggothemeggo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:14:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The hero we serve, but do not deserve!
ancientcreature2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:28:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eminem
Man_gled_dicks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:07:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eminem really is something else when it comes to this stuff.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No more rhymes, I mean it!
Josef_Kant_Deal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Snoogins.
Ninety9Balloons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nine nine!
MarvelMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meat... From the street.
IsaacEiland-Hall ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:12:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This subthread managed to get long, fellers.
(The toes show it.)
BucNasty92 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:53:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a half rhyme
throwaway3848589 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
off-rhyme
bootherizer5942 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Slant rhyme
CheeseGoddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:14 on April 8, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eye rhyme
(sorry, couldn't resist... I'll hush now)
JargonR3D ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:44:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rhymed time with time, not really a rhyme.
duke78 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or fine with time, which isn't really a rhyme.
notgayinathreeway ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:48:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware that you made a rhyme?
Brandyboo1921 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:00:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Make a rhyme, EVERY time ๐
-Reddit_Account- ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 11:21:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite green is lime
flavored_icecream ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think rhyming fine with time is a very serious crime.
FoxyBastard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:15:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a crime?
Ludy5 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:56:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well he be serving time?
oguzka06 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:11:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, unauthorized production and distribution of rhymes, Interpoet has just started an investigation.
KingOfNZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nein!
Necromancer4276 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
bfh7542 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love John Mulaney!
mycousinvinny99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
actually he didn't.
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:31:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Perfection, that's what
_RollTide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you aware you continued the sequence in a manner so sublime?
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In hindsight, yeah.
theSarx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Anybody want a peanut?
bastugubbar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:48:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
eminem at 7/11 selling mnm's
apprehensiveabtthis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fine doesnโt rhyme with time.
TheseSymbols ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heโs gonna make a dime!!!
SentimentalTrooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yes baby, it's my time to shine!
Gray-and-old ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:19:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Real slim shady
GuyWhoRocks95 ยท 355 points ยท Posted at 21:13:47 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How could you have gotten written up?
[deleted] ยท 770 points ยท Posted at 21:19:55 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 337 points ยท Posted at 00:41:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DifferentYesterday ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 02:23:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends in the call centre did exactly the same thing, the customer heard him though haha he got walked shortly after.
creativelyuncreative ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:13:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did this today but after I hung up! A patient's mother called and said he'd been seen at our clinic for a gunshot wound to the head (the patient was okay, he was a 19 year old moron who shot himself by playing around with a pellet gun). I work at an urgent care. He had never been through our clinic, much less been seen for a GSW. I had to look up the number of his trauma doc (which the mother could've done at home as she knew his name) and relay that info to her. Got off the phone and said "she's not terribly bright" to my coworker and immediately had to check to make sure I'd hung up.
oswaldcopperpot ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:53:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked with a guy that would mute and then rant and scream about customers. MY customers could overhear him. I made a point to sit as far away as possible.
frogjg2003 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:50:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Calls are recorded "for training purposes" where "training" means only ever pulling the call when a customer complains.
LacksMass ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:04:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My recorded calls were used for training purposes when I worked at a call center. Once a month I had a sit down with my manager where she'd pull up a few calls either at random or that had been flagged and we'd listen together and go over how I could improve or what I was doing well. It was actually pretty helpful to hear myself talk to customers.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Dazmen1755 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:48:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked a call center job for 2 months before I wanted to blow my brains out. We wern't even aloud to bring a book in, or talk to our co-workers. If you didn't have a call you had to study your scripts. I had to sneak things in to fidget with so I had SOMETHING to do besides look around the office and imaging ways to off myself with what was available.
jenntasticxx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:48:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad my call center isn't like that... I would die if we had scripts... (Other than for taking a payment that is, that's a legal thing I guess).
Megandapanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:26:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same. Our only script is our opening line, thank god.
jenntasticxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They tried to script out opening line (it was more of a suggestion/best practice) and I hoped out of that. I'd been saying the same opening like for years on thousands of calls. It's not going to change for me.
Megandapanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ours isn't bad, we don't have to say it word for word as long as we get something like "thank you for calling workplace this is megandapanda speaking, may I have your EFIN? Thank you, and who I am I speaking with?"
Uniquitous ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:44:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just one more reason why we really need unions to get their strength back. This is just inhumane.
poorexcuses ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol. I wish my late night call center was that lackadaisical. Stupid rich people and their stupid having standards.
Swiss_queso ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:51:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This does not sound like the worst.
ArchetypicalDegen ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this once... I had to pretend to put the customer on hold as part of a sales tactic. I was supposed to be asking my manager for additional bonuses to the customer (I was already cleared for them) but took the time instead to discuss sales strategies based on what she's said.
I put my headphones back on and she's straight away like "You know I wasn't on hold and heard everything, right?" My face was apparently hilarious as my manager knew something was up despite not hearing her. Thankfully it was one of our few non-edgy conversations though, as she had one more condition before signing up.
Deleriant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:27:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A higher up in a call centre that isn't a total dickshitting assface? That's the thing of
nightmaresdreams! Peasant dreams, but dreams nonetheless.Megandapanda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:27:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My supervisor at my call center is awesome, love her to death. She's more of a friend to everyone then a boss.
Megandapanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We're lucky, sometimes our supervisors listen in to our phone calls, but our calls don't get recorded... (or so they say, anyway...)
Old_man_at_heart ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:21:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try a government call center. To keep people from wasting my I'm regularly short with people who deserve it.
People asking the same question waiting for an answer they're happy with, people who come on aggressive with demands on a well regulated government program, people who treat me like shit because I work for an organization they aren't happy with... I'll verbally slap these people in the face so hard. I (as I'm sure you do too) have targets to meet like AHT, calls/hour etc. so these people who waste my time are only taking time away from the people who truly need it. Because of this and the fact that morally I cannot cut the call short for people who actually need my help I often don't meet my goals and could lose my job.
This is a stressful job with targets that are too difficult to reach while actually doing your job though easier to reach if you purposefully mistransfer, take shortcuts that leave callers confused and are only willing to explain something once.
angry_biscuit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:42:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's different with government call centers. The customer can't exactly choose another service provider for things run by the government so there's no reason to just take their bullshit in fear they might switch to your competitor. Throw out all the verbal bitch slaps you want as long as you're correct in what you say and nobody cares haha.
flahless ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:04:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, call centres. AKA the devils asshole
deathstrukk ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:20:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a little different experience, my manager was happy that I wasnโt a push over and said multiple times he was happy I was able to stand my ground and didnโt just collapse when someone got angry on the phone
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:47:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
deathstrukk ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:14:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our center was more focused on quality and upselling then actually helping the customer, if you didnโt curse or say anything terrible on the phone you were pretty much fine
deftly_lefty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Micromanagment hell
ryansmithistheboss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the night
cardinal sin
Blind in light
They locked him in for cardinal sin
At midnight the trial will begin
ArchetypicalDegen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't always true. I had a call centre job for a large corporation, and they were pretty lax on standards. I was able to be borderline-rude quite often. I mean, I probably would have gotten in trouble for what you said, but in general, I was allowed to be a bit of a dick. Hell, my manager even taught me to be more of a dick.
NachoManSandyRavage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you're internal then in many cases, as long as it isn't a big wig, you can get away with a lot. At my old university, we were basically told if the Art department calls and they aren't in the middle of a class, feel free to hang up on them without warning if they start being rude. For some reason, art people were super impatient and ugly to people not in the art department. Same with the tenured English instructors.
TiggyHiggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ya not all call centers. Most i have worked at you are obviously there to help the customer but we don't really have to take too much shit from the customer. If we said that most of my supervisors wild have been grand with it because you would have gotten your point across and it probably would have gone no where anyway.
Im not in America by the way.
Megandapanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:33:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If one of clients calling in (all tax preparers and right now it's super close to deadline day, so you can imagine how hectic it is) is cussing and totally unruly, or if you spend over an hour on the phone with them and they're not listening to so you the call is going nowhere, we just tell our supervisor and she listens in and will either take over the call or will hang up on them. It's hilarious when she hangs up.
IdislikeSpiders ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:37:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a call center. When I got fired I was told "one decision could have gotten you written up, and the other gets you fired. You chose fired." I won my unemployment case.
meeseeksdeleteafter ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:57:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, what decision would have gotten you written up, and which one would have gotten you fired?
IdislikeSpiders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:28 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was fired because I got a low scoring survey. A guy didn't like that he was getting charged for something he wanted with his service. I could A) Lie and keep him happy, but if I got a quality assurance check on that call, I'd be written up or B) tell the truth and cross my fingers they forgot there's a survey and don't mash that # key to give me all 0's out of frustration. I chose B, and got fired. It was the second low survey I received that day. The first being someone who gave me all 0's because I couldn't waive the service charge for processing a payment, and he refused to use the automated system.
warman17 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How would you feel if you were calling some place to complain about something you felt was important and was told this exact thing?
Corvus_Prudens ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:06:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You have almost zero context. It was probably pretty stupid.
goblinqueenac ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:10:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
10/10 have said this. But in my defense she had been screaming at me for 22 minutes because my tech wouldn't install cable at her house because it was cluttered and full of cat poo. He already did the phone and internet.
She dropped the infamous "I don't get paid for this, you do!"
So I said "yes, but you've been repeating yourself and screaming at my for the last half hour for an issue I can't help you with."
She asked for my supervisor (I am the supervisor) so I passed her off to a colleague who told her the same thing. He was a guy so, I guess she took the news better from him even though you could HEAR the scowl in his voice.
el_grort ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:28:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of when my supervisor weathered twenty minutes of solid complaining before throwing his arms up in the air and saying "you know what, I just don't care" and walking off.
Was a mistake a previous shift had made, he was a very theatrical person to work under and got a complaint. Funnily enough the supervisor who blankly told a customer to fuck off didn't. Tells you what customers really get upset by.
NobilisUltima ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:33:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What will you do? Say you won't come here again?
Don't threaten me with a positive, I'd be happier then
You think we're gonna notice if we don't have your business?
Witness, dipshit, as I outright dismiss this
I got more customers to help, waiting right behind you
Watching you get humiliated, do I need to remind you
That as long as I do my job my company's payin'
If you'll excuse me, I believe you saw the exit on your way in.
Jahaadu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a older male customer get pissy that the store I worked for changed their bathroom policy allowing transgendered people to use their respected genders bathroom. I said something along the same thing as you. Written up as well.
kharmatika ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:50:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer who would make outlandish return requests constantly, and then bitch about how she NEVER had this problem at Walgreens, THEY always made it work for her and at one point I just looked at her and went โthen why donโt you go there instead?โ Luckily I was overnight shift, so my managers didnโt really care.
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:47 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your username is fucking with me I appreciate that thank you
Se1zurez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guys, I found sprog's alt!
OkayWhosTheJerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โKeep wastinโ your time thatโs fine, but could I still get paid at the same time? And it's my name thatโs on this tag. So remove your bags, lemme call you a cab.โ
sportsworker777 ยท 8937 points ยท Posted at 21:14:08 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was on a call with a customer who was complaining and absolutely irate. I had only been on the job for a few weeks and was becoming flustered. There was literally nothing I could do to calm this person down or get him to accept my answers. I was finally about to get him off the line when he made a sarcastic comment to the extent of "wow thanks, you've been such a great help." In my rush to say "no problem" or "you're welcome" I ended up saying "your problem" and hanging up. He called several times after that and I just ignored the calls because I was so exhausted.
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 3884 points ยท Posted at 22:53:02 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love those brain fart exchanges...
Waitress: "Enjoy your meal"
Me: "Thanks, you too!"
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 2550 points ยท Posted at 23:37:24 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those are the worst. One time, I took food to a table and instead of saying "enjoy" I said "have a nice day"
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 2212 points ยท Posted at 23:47:44 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dissapointment slowly washes over customer's face as they realize they aren't getting anymore endless breadsticks
DAFUQyoulookingat ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 07:35:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer raises hand halfway about to ask for more breadsticks but the waiter has already said goodbye, so customer sheepishly puts hands back down and drearily continues on with meal :'(
Sinful_Prayers ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 06:59:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't want to find this funny but it keeps making me giggle wtf
V2G2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:01:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate the word disappointment because it lost me a 4th grade spelling competition.
ZyxStx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:54:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you got it right every time after that
V2G2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:52:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup
mmerijn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:07:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, you didn't. What a disappointement right?
jamvanderloeff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:13:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unlimitedbreadsticks
doctorpotterhead ยท 577 points ยท Posted at 04:31:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our bathroom is near the front door. I told somebody on their way to the toilet "have a nice night". He confusedly told me "you too?" While he opened the bathroom door.
Tallocaust ยท 325 points ยท Posted at 05:56:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Assuming someone lives in the bathroom is an honest mistake.
toking4satan ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:52:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt look at me that way.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 08:53:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Laliophobic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:40:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
StuckAtWork124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
These urinal cakes are to die for!
superchalupa ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:42:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Best response to his response would have been, "Hope everything comes out ok!"
Gray-and-old ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. I totally see the guys confusion
NordinTheLich ยท 424 points ยท Posted at 05:27:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail, and I've gotten into the habit of hearing the pinpad beep and telling my customers "Alright, you can take your card out!" One night I went to Subway for dinner and asked that they toast my sandwich. The oven was done toasting sandwich, so it started beeping. Out of habit, I said "Alright, you can take the card out." "I'm sorry, I missed that. What did you say?" "Nothing. Nothing at all..."
totest_bag ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 06:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Darn Pavlov
Gray-and-old ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:17:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That guy really screwed us over
entreethegiant ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 09:53:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i always ask people if they want their receipts and the other day i asked an old woman "would you like your beard?" as i was staring at a man with a beard. she prob thought she had a beard after that
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My funeral will be held at 5pm, y'all.
Scumbaggedfriends ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:34:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like getting home and answering the phone "AMALGAMATED TOPHATS, HOW CAN I HELP YOU?"
twistedude ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 12:25:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working for three retail chains at once when I was at Uni. I had so many customers hang up on me because I had said the wrong brand name and they figured they had mistyped the number. Many immediately rang back and would be very awkward at the start of the call because they swore an identical sounding guy with the same name just answered from another storeโฆ
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm dying
rabidassbaboon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:10:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Blockbuster Video when I was in high school in the 90s. So many times, I'd answer our landline at home with "Thank you for calling Blockbuster Video, this is rabidassbaboon. How may I help you?"
NordinTheLich ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 17:51:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I work at a Walgreens and I'll never forget my first day they had me greeting customers. In my head I'm going "Don't say Walmart. Don't say Walmart. Don't say Walmart." My first customer walks in. "Hi! Welcome to Walmart!"
As for awkward phone call stories, I am a pretty well-spoken and charismatic young man, so I always assumed I'd be fine answering calls. We get a call, so I pick it up. My smile fades, about five seconds pass, and I realized I had no idea what to say in the heat of the moment, so I just go "... ... ...Heeeeeeey..." Thankfully it was a manager, not a customer, who called and they told me what I should say.
SysadminGuy123 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:09:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate being told to take my card out. They always say it about 2 seconds before the machine says please remove card. I can read you know, let me take my card out without being ordered to do so, what my money is not enough you also want my dignity? Bastards.
jiibbs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:13:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I felt the same way until I started to notice the massive number of people utterly dumbfounded by the new "smart"chip cards. Admittedly, it took me a while to figure out too, but I didn't make others suffer through my learning curve.
I'll never forget the woman who backed up a gas station ATM line to about 18 people, which took up half of the store. The best part? I watched her refuse help. "No, sweety, I got it, it always does this." She said that, I made eye contact with the dude in front of me and we both just dipped out. As far as I know, that woman's still at WaWa trying to figure out that ATM.
NordinTheLich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:41:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're reading too far into this. Plus, a lot of people don't hear the beeping of my store's pinpad since it's softer than most, and a lot of people tend to not notice when it says to remove the card.
NewaccountWoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Most of them sound like a siren though. Way too loud
TheHowlingLibrarian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:44:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Far too many of them make that alarmingly discordant noise that sounds more like your card has been declined.
abloopdadooda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Better than walking away without your card
Zephyrv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:40:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Best one so far
badabingbadabingbong ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:00:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just snorted louder than I'm willing to admit.
Madypoppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:03:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me giggle. Thanks. Itโs 4am.
EelSkinBeatrice ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:33:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best. I used to work 18 months ahead eg it 2016 and I would be working on 2018 release. Any who there were a lot of moments were I thought the dairy in store was past use by.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:39:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have sat people at a table and said have a nice day. Sometime I can play it off by saying have a nice meal if I catch myself but it still sounds weird.
caravansary25 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:46:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A few weeks ago I was volunteering at a Cystic Fibrosis Foundation event. I asked one of the other volunteers how she found out about the event and she said โI have cystic fibrosisโ and I said, โWow, thatโs so cool!โ :(
beholdfrostilicus ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:14:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good lord man ๐
G_CAST ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:40:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or the classic telling the gate agent at the airport to have a nice flight. scans ticket Gate agent: โthank you have a nice flightโ Me: โthanks you tooโ Iโve done this at least 10 times.
ChickenPicture ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:12:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very obviously lesbian couple at a table once and when they left I mixed up have a great day and have a nice day and said "Have a nice gay!"
Still makes me cringe
Zukukuzu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So good
bluedhift ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:24:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once I got off stage, people saying 'great set', 'nice job' etc. so I'm doing my thank yous, then next drummer comes on stage to load a few things, she walks past, says 'excuse me' and I replied 'thanks'. Died on the spot.
JeyJeyFrocks_3325 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:51:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a hotel. I often answer my personal cell phone "[HOTEL NAME], This is Jeff speaking, How can I help you?"
beholdfrostilicus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:11:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working in call centre hell I'd answer mine "hi my name is [my name] and I'm calling from [company name] on behalf of [other company name]" and whoever was calling would be pretty darn confused
ilikecakemor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:31:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a busy cinema. My words basicly came off a recording at that point, especially the end of the transaction. So one time a customer left before I could finish my row of sentences and I greeted the next one with "would you like a reciept?"
FuckMeInMyHobbitHole ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:21:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man. I do this a little too often and I work a drive-thru window. People literally drive off without their food after I hand them their money and say "have a good one!" Instead of "its gonna be right out sir!" because their brain tells them "Oh, she said bye so we're obviously done here". They always come back embarrassed, but I feel at fault every time. It's easy to get the many scripts we mindlessly repeat all day mixed up sometimes.
_Syntaks_ ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:59:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then am I the only one to do this as someone wishes me a happy birthday?
CorsetofWords ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, no you are not. I also tell the theater employees 'You too!' when they tell me to enjoy the movie.
nenayadark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! It's actually become a joke in my family after the first time someone did it. "Happy Birthday!" "Thanks, same to you!"
TootTootTrainTrain ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:18:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Take luck!"
Jachown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you have it, Take it, cherish it. Take luck and care of it. Take luck and CARARARVAT!
mightymags ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:08:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When taking out someoneโs groceries to their car instead of โthank you, have a nice dayโ I said โwould you like paper or plastic?โ
Worst part is that I laughed at myself and said it had been a long day, and they just stared like I was the biggest fucking idiot and said nothing
godsxmessenger ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:52:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've shaken hands with someone and introduced myself with a "paper or plastic"
pascettti ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:19:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i work in a cinema and when saying bye to people whoโd already seen their film i said โthanks enjoyโ
Kornstalx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:53:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Of all the shit I've read in these comments, this is the one that got to me. I've been trying to go to sleep for 20 goddamn minutes and can't stop fucking chuckling. I'm gonna wake up still laughing at this, thank you.
Tauposaurus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I recently said ''good evening'' to the girl at thw peint shop.
It was eleven am.
DimeBagJoe2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck I've done that multiple times when I worked at Culver's. It made me feel so dumb I had to awkwardly smile or pretend I was joking
momiller707 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I arrived at the gym one day, checked in at the desk, the front desk guy said "Enjoy your workout!", I said "you too!" :-/
DeckT_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:58:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im a cook in a restaurant and when handing out the meals to the waitress , I often almost say ''enjoy your meal'' and it actually came out once. Even still I always feel like thats the thing to say , I give em the plates, they say thank you , and I wanna reply enjoy your meal !
BrokeRichGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:29:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In theater class, i was doing a skit in front of the whole class. I was a waiter asking for an order. My friends says โcan i get a steak and salad?โ And I responded with โyes please.โ Needless to say i was so embarrassed. Especially with what happened afterwards.
XpaleprincessXx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You think that's bad?! I work at a gas station part time and instead of telling this 40yo gentleman after ringing him up to "have a nice day" I said "I love you". He just said "....well okay" and left.
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a movie theatre. For over a year, my goodbye greeting was, "Enjoy your show!"
Moved over to retail. Took six months to get it out of my system. Had to explain to too many customers I used to work for Regal.
TheHowlingLibrarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:50:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"..What was that?"
"Er.. Oho, good show!"
brett203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
the restaurant i work at does dine and to go orders, and most people wait sitting down at a table so sometimes you take dine in order out and say "have a nice day" like it's a to go order
Lawnmover_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would tip you rather well just for this very happy little phrase.
Diavolo222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol that "have a nice day" sounds so douchy!
FuturistAnthony ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was entering a theatre before a show. The usher said โenjoy the showโ and I meant to say thanks but my brain farted and I said โyou tooโ
FuddieDuddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wife had finished chemotherapy, and we went out for a nice meal. Our waitress was super good and super sweet, and we paid cash with a very nice tip. My wife slid her the folder and said โno tip.โ The waitress looked so confused. I said โshe means no CHANGE.โ
We all laughed over it, thankfully. Chemo brain is a real thing folks.
MinnieAssaultah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a movie theater & the number of folks who would respond to me saying "there you go (while giving them the tickets & change), enjoy the show!" with "you too!"- I always cracked up a bit because you could see the moment that they realized what they had just said & that it was too late to correct themselves. (and yes I said that because it rhymed)
TheFryerOfChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in restaurants for several years, on more than one occasion I've had someone thank me for showing them to the washroom, and my dumb, habit-riddled brain wished them to 'enjoy!'
SwampGentleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My personal favorite story of mine is that these two ladies asked me where the bathroom was. I give them the directions, and then say โEnjoy!โ.
Realizing this was a weird thing to say, I tried to recover!
โNo, wait. I mean, โHave fun!โ โ
AaaawShitBuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:49:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was having food delivered to my table in a restaurant once and, for some reason, my brain thought I was on the phone to a customer at work.
He said, "Enjoy your meal".
I replied, "Thanks for your time. Goodbye!"
Kelly_reads_too_much ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer service jobs can either be the best thing for treating social anxiety or the worst thing. You interact with so many damn people a day, so even if only 5% of your interactions are awkward, you still say something cringey like 3 times a day. I just don't care about awkward moments anymore when hanging out with acquaintances or people I've just met outside of my job. Just like, "Yup, that's their impression of me, maybe it'll change, maybe it won't."
rolacolalola ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:55:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah my brain had a moment at work once and instead of saying 'have a nice day ๐' I said 'have a nice GAY' what was I thinking
J2MES ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 23:02:40 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Y-y-yoo too
Nazori ยท 245 points ยท Posted at 23:15:12 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take luck!
torch787 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take good luck with the care!
PierogiD ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take it. Care for it.
Kerriganszergheels ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TAKE CARE OF THE LUCK YOU MIGHT HAVE
melissapete24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
IF YOU HAVE LUCK, TAKE IT; CARE FOR IT!
iamahumanbee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:03:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, Take 2 with a little more
finnhorse ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:23:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking sorry????
shimmyfizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Howโs up?
gbuub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no welcome
tbyrn21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/jacksfilms
J2MES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep right on the nail I love jacksfilms and I am glad you do too
badgerbane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm sorry for your loss, move on.
DootMasterFlex ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:56:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is still my favorite, I bug my wife about it to this day:
Waitress to me: "Did you need a drink refill?"
Me: "Sure, thanks!"
Waitress to my wife: "And how's the water?" (Her cup was about half full)
Wife: "Delicious, thank you"
Fucking delicious water.
lnpfh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:19:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have made this mistake and I have yet to hear the end of it too...
ATLASSHRUGGED89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:29:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pshh, you obviously haven't heard about artisanal water.
https://youtu.be/XUv7NQelex0
Wavebrother ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:52:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the premiere of Star Wars with a friend of mine. The ticket person said โEnjoy your movieโ, to which she replied, โThanks, you tooโ. He then quietly said that employees are not allowed to go to premieres. I died a little bit after that.
Sipredion ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:51:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a pizza place and we were supposed to answer the phone with: "Hi, How can I help you."
I can't tell you the number of times I instead answered with: "Hi, can you help me?"
BLINDrOBOTFILMS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:28:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"cough twice if you're a prisoner in the Dominoes Dungeon"
Abigblackdudedid911 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:48:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How are you?"
"Good, how are you?"
"Good, how are you?"
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:36:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you aren't careful, this can actually trigger a conversational paradox, and trap both parties in an eternal time loop of small chat. That's why I never ask anyone how they are... too risky...
Hopeloma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this in a phone interview once.
Thebigkapowski ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:20:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said that once to a pizza delivery guy. He told me to enjoy my pizza. I said, "Thanks, you too... wait, I mean, if you get to eat pizza later, but I will enjoy mine right now... ah hell, whatever, you know what I mean."
He's also the pizza guy that I tipped a little extra to every time he didn't mention that I still had a Christmas wreath on my door in April.
Wherever you are, Devon, I miss you. You were my best and most reliable relationship to date.
calculus_was_tough ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:04:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I went to tell a customer "have a good day!" but halfway through I realized what time it was so I tried to switch to "Have a good night" but trailed off when I got mixed up and ended up saying "Have a good die...!"
Matthew288 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:17:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Crush: "Happy birthday"
Me : Happy birthday to y... me"
Kinda saved it but I died inside because thatโs so dumb to say.
Eps_ilon ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:06:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young, I was halloweening one time and I was walking away from a house, and instead of saying "Thank you!" or "Have a good night!" I said "Love you!" That was my next door neighbour. Never can forget.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:32:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work exclusively evening hours, so I'd always say "Have a good night!" After a year and a half, I started pulling daytime shifts, but I'd still accidentally say "Have a good night!" even though it was 11am or so. Some customers would give me an odd look, but it always bothered me.
After considerable concentration and practice at saying "day" instead of "night", I now consistently say, "Have a good nay!" about 50% of the time whybrain
Pteradicktyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would always say, "have a good dight!"
BLINDrOBOTFILMS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:31:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me? I only have one day shift a week and invariably someone gets a "have a good night" at noon
thehighlady ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was holding a door open for a client at a job a few years ago and when they thanked me, my brain got stuck between "no problem" and "no worries" so I just said "no."
Dahvood ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:57:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got food from Mcdonalds once. She handed the meal to me and said "see you later." I replied "sure will!"
Never seen her before in my life, or seen her since. Brains are a straaaange thing
DaltonOB ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:23:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a football (foot-long meatball) at a subway
TheHowlingLibrarian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once ordered a Butterflinger at the movie theater.
bkn0b ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:47:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad once tried to say โtalk to you laterโ or โcatch you laterโ to a client on the phone. What came out was โcock you later.โ We could hear the client laughing their ass off as my dad hung out. 5 years later we still reference it.
goklissa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:53:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just a few days ago I went to the lost and found to look for a customerโs ID. I called out โwhatโs your name?โ and my boss whom Iโve known almost two years now said โNick!โ Then hung his head in embarrassment.
BLINDrOBOTFILMS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:35:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aww, he knows his own name!
kissemao ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:13:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an angry customer who ended the phone call with โburn in hell, cuntโ and I just went โthanks, you too!โ My boss heard me and cracked up so all is good.
RIPDistrict12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:44:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ski lift attendant: "Hope you have fun!"
Me: "You too!"
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:52:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I will once this bitch spins out of control backwards.
Smudgicul ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:50:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was a fiasco.
RIPDistrict12 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:56:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True.
Raherin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:59:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me "Hi, how are you?"
Customer "I'm good, how are you doing?"
Me "Great, how are you?"
I've done this too many times.
sissyprettylove ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time (as a cashier) I was trying to tell someone, "have a good night!" and in my delirium said, "night night!" I just turned my face and walked the other way.
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one by far
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:29:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or the classic, I've had a bad day customer
Waitress: "Enjoy your meal"
Me: "You'd like that wouldn't you"
GoingOffline ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I when I wait tables, il say "you're welcome" even if they don't say thank you. It's just out of habit because 99% of people say thank you.
Zukukuzu ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:15:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha reminds me of a call I made the other morning before I was properly awake - had to leave a voicemail for the client and ended the message as I would an email: "Kind regards, my name". Wtf?!
complimentarianist ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:31:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, they're eventually going to have a meal at some point later. Do you want them to have a crummy, lousy meal that they don't enjoy? huh? :p
iisagoat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Boss: Happy Birthday Me: HAPPY SO MUCH!
FinchMandala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm already chuckling at this thread but your comment threw me over the edge and now I can't breathe.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I always say 'have a nice shift'. It's great seeing that moment of realization when they say 'you too'
careful_corvid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at an airport
Me: enjoy your trip Passenger: you too
It was a bit of a game between my coworkers to see how many people would tell to have a nice trip
alittlebitcheeky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:12:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So many times I've been taking an order at a table and I've tried to say "lovely" or "Thank You" and gotten mixed up. So awkward telling customers you love them....
DekeKneePulls ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:56:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the airport, airport staff checking my boarding pass
Staff: alright, enjoy your flight!
Me: thanks, you too! (I stop and turn back) ok that was wrong
Staff: (she laughs) happens all the time.
Brightman42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:28:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had just started working at a Subway after I had worked at a movie theater for about a year. One day in a rush instead of saying "Enjoy your meal!" or "Have a nice day!" I said "Enjoy your movie!". They got really freaked out because they actually were going to a movie after lunch and wanted to know how in the world I knew that.
Still not sure if they accepted my explanation.
WolvWild ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:21:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Instead of saying "you're welcome" to a guest, I accidentally said "you're wonderful."
I just turned around and walked away.
Drunkenaviator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god. I do this all the time at the airport. The security guy/gate agent/food vendor says "Have a nice flight!" and I say "You too!".
PM_ME_COUPLE_PICS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this today when training someone. He'd been saying thanks after everything I helped him with, so I was telling him, "no problem" back. Then he had the audacity to change it up on me! Instead, he said, "Okay, cool." "No problem." "...Thanks."
TiaxTheMig1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:18:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mcdonalds used to say "Thank you Have a nice day!" and I could just go "You too" now they say "Thank you. Come again."
https://youtu.be/ZfLWeW2RHBU
soer9142a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a ski rental shop, everytime I say โhave a nice holidayโ people always answer โthanks, you tooโ and I know it makes them feel awkward so I just say have fun on the mountain or something
DanielTrebuchet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The damn movie theater gets me every time.
"Enjoy your show!"
"Thanks, you t... have a good afternoon."
dwdrummerboy93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The classic brain fart
Someone: hey, happy birthday!
Me: Thanks! You too!
csoup1414 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me working to a patient, "I hope you feel better!" Patient - "You too!"
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you give them an eyebrow and suggest they join you
OnoSideboard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
me too thanks
TalisFletcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend and I were buying alcohol for her 21st birthday party and the chap at the counter said 'Happy birthday!' as we were leaving to which she said 'You too!' and I just started laughing while she realised what she'd said.
nick_winch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"enjoy the movie"
"yeah, you too"
PetalDoggo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did the "Thanks, you too!" thing to everyone who said Happy Birthday to me on my birthday. It wasn't even deliberate!
spartan116chris ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a pretty introverted guy those are the most cringeworthy snippets of my life.
Phone operator: have a good trip in Thailand, bye bye!
Me: Thanks you too...um bye
mypandaisWallace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do variations of this too. I work at a pizza place and I go from answering phones (delivery or pick up orders) to taking orders on the front counter (to-go or dine in) and Iโve caught myself a few couple times asking people at the front counter if they want their order for pickup or delivery. The confusion on the customers face makes me crack up and nervously try to explain at the same time.
aussiebookworm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a checkout chic at Kmart I was sopping one day and asked the cashier if they had flybys. I was so use to my script I was saying it to everyone
psbwb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:15:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use to laugh at inappropriate uses of "you too" until it happened to me. Long story short, I drove a long way to have NSA gay sex in the middle of the night to another mans house. After we were done playing Star Wars, he told me to have a nice drive or something, to which I replied "you too." While stile in his house.
Apellosine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:53:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was the best thing about working in food service. Getting people to say that to you.
jaytrade21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy the movie...thanks, you too....(internal voice: you're an idiot jaytrade21)
Dyemond ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This used to happen to me all the time when I was flying weekly for work.
Thanks for use <insert airline> have a nice flight.
You too... I mean have a nice day. <feels like idiot for the whole flight>
monkeybananafart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had one of those moments recently, booze bus was set up on the way home one afternoon so did the breathalyser and the cop says โall good, drive safeโ and I was like โyou tooโ. My husband didnโt think it was cringey but it certainly felt cringey telling a police officer to drive safe.
Call_Me_Arthur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for an airline and daily Iโll say โEnjoy your flight!โ to a passenger and they always respond โThanks, you too!โ And then they start walking down the gate a few feet and then turn around and try to correct themselves and we both chuckle about it. Customer service can suck but Iโve grown to love when that happens haha.
Boing_Boing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Going through security yesterday...TSA:l โhave a good flightโ, me: โyou, tooooooaaaahfuckโ ๐
camerajack21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some guy I walked past in the street was doing the whole begging thing (in a very British way, they just kind of mumble at you as you walk past over here). I always try to be nice rather than just ignore them, so somehow "Thankyou sorry" fell out of my mouth.
He laughed and said that's the nicest thing anyone'd said to him all day.
potatoes828 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:55:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Went to an amusement park. At the parking gate:
Attendant: Thank you! Have fun!
Me: Thanks, you too!
I facepalmed after I parked and realized what I just said.
KayleighAnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My fiance did this over the weekend. A waitress dropped off some fresh fries for us (red robins, yum) and said, "Enjoy your hot fries!" and he goes, "You t- oo... oh... I did it."
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. My Amazon Prime Now shopper did this once.
She handed me my bags and I said, "Thanks!"
She says, "You're welcome! Have a great day! You too!"
Then she started fumbling, but I just smiled and said, "Thanks!" I didn't want to bring the awkwardness to her attention and make a big deal out of it, but I'm still laughing.
TheAsianTroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:31:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've caught myself doing that too much so I've trained myself to just say "Thanks, have a good one" if I'm buying something, or "Thanks much" if I'm at a restaurant.
Coincedence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have done this. Went to buy something for a holiday, the cashier says enjoy your Holiday, and me in complete brain fart mode: "I will, you too!"
mahjongtitan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too often I can't decide between saying "thanks" or "cheers" and end up saying "chanks" :(
IdidothBawx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take...LUCK!
Letmefixthatforyouyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The classic.
BrowncoatOfArms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just embrace this at this point.
rokudaimehokage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hear of this all the time, mainly the theater equivalent "enjoy your movie" and I've never said "you too" in my life. I don't know how anyone slips up unless they're drunk or dead tired.
Lord_Sjaak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ehhh I had to stop saying good day sir or ma'am. Because if I had 3 guys after eachother and a woman came I always say good day sir. And when a crossdresser came from time to time I absolutly had no idea what the heck I should call him her?
Alpr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Enjoy your Movie"
"Thanks, you to..I mean, I will!"
Mgoin129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I have to go pee on her"
Gleveniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that many times before and usually just laugh at how little I care about the small talk as you pass people at work.
Videoboysayscube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you imagine she's gonna have a meal eventually...
KamaCosby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never goes back to that restaurant
Emerald_Flame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take... luck!
TheDweardedOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?
kampamaneetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so sure they know those brain farts are coming AND that they enjoy them!
I know I would!
Jessilee113 ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 02:49:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend of mine at work had a similar automation response that was very bad but very funny. You know how you get I to habits and a really common one is for the customer to end the call with something like " thanks have a good night" or something and the automatic response is "thanks, you too"? We'll my friend had a customer that was essentially insisting that we break federal regulations for him and after a lot of back and forth he ended the call by telling her to suck a dick, to which she responded "ok, you too." She damn near had a heart attack when she realized what happened.
ElectroNeutrino ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Savage is savage, whether accidental or not.
mouth_with_a_merc ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:26:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually hilarious!
PM-ME-YOUR-BOOBSplz ยท 676 points ยท Posted at 23:57:41 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking sorry?!
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 00:25:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
samzhengpro ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Link please?
argoismyhorse ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 03:05:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
here you go
TrashPalaceKing ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve seen that one but it always kills me. Iโve had a shit past 2 days and this is the first time in 48+ hours Iโve had a genuine laugh. Thank you!
Have my other favorite green text as payment
FordBeeblebrox ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:10:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They donโt think it be like it is, but it do.
samzhengpro ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:12:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you
the_gaming_ranga ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:45:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for providing this little piece of enjoyment
Newoski ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:02:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, you like that you fucking retard.
biscuitpotter ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:06:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After all these years and references in every other thread, I still chuckle thinking about that one.
overthemountain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:07:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This line gets repeated so much. You guys owe that OP some karma royalties.
Aetherdestroyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First thing I thought of, lol.
inarizushisama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Chinkie_Winkie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who's sorry? Can you introduce us?
ermagerd_erplrnes ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:28:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a similar thing happen to me when I used to work help desk. This lady called in and was just horrible and hostile the whole call. It was a 10 second fix printer issue, but she wouldn't do any troubleshooting with me. She even asked in a scathing tone whether I was new there. I escalated the issue to her onsite tech because ain't nobody got time for that. She hit me with the "thanks soooo much you were soooo helpful" sarcastic bullshit, but I had completely stopped listening by that point and I just blurted out in my best retail voice "You're very welcome! Have a great day!" I heard her snort of disgust as I hung up.
Deleriant ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:10:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a previous phone drone that was my favourite thing. When someone was being an absolute cunt you just turn the niceness up to 11 until you're sickly sweet and just wind them up. It's too easy. They're being hostile but you're just being super duper nice and they're not getting the reaction they want. Totally takes the power away from them which pisses them off even more. You know you're pissing them off on purpose, they know you're pissing them off on purpose, but what are they gonna do? Complain that you were too nice to them?
thatrandomwhovian ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:46:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always get on my sickeningly sweet customer service voice when a dickhead customer sarcastically thanks me. "Oh of course! You're very welcome! Is there anything else at all I can help you with today?"
cathairpc ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:28:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a older lady in the shop i work at, and instead of the usual, "thank you.", " No, thank YOU" bollocks i usually go through, she said "lovely, thank you!", to which i naturally replied, "Love YOU!"
OneRedSent ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:33:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that, on a call with my boss. We finished talking and he says "OK Bye" and I said "Love you, bye" and hung up. Brain farts.
I also answered the phone at my job with a spiel, "Thank you for calling company X, this is One, how can I help you?" Except I was tired and said the name of my old company. The worst was when I was so tired I answered my phone at home that way.
morwenacheese ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:44:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colleague of mine had a similar mix up of words when trying to help a customer find an email we'd sent them. Meant to ask if they'd checked their spam or junk folder, but instead asked if they'd checked their jam or spunk.
All our calls our recorded so my poor colleague has had everyone in the office listen to that call. Luckily the customer found it funny and laughed for a solid minute.
Great_Pale_Lobo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:38:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao! I love this one
SillyGayBoy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:55:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This accident turned out so much better though so I'm glad it happened.
anomalous_cowherd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:19:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of this classic greentext...
half_lies_always ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:46:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Take luck!"
lasersandwich ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take care of the luck, if you have it. Take it. Care for it.
keribelleee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said this same thing opening a fitting room for a girl with her mom. I died inside a little bit. It didnโt help that they both gave me the strangest looks and were so awkwardly silent.
PrimarchH0rus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:36:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once did something similar. I ment to say to a customer my usual passive aggressive bs line of "Im sorry, but we will have to agree to disagree on that".
Instead I gave them my jokey joke phrase i use among friends of "It's ok to be wrong".
Didn't go down so well.
denalim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is hilarious.
In my old retail job I had to call customers that their order was ready, and always ended my voicemail messages with either "have good night" or "have a good day" since I worked openings, mids, and closers. One day I was working an opening after a long run of closers, so I started saying night, realized it was 9am and tried switching to day, but ended up saying "have a good n-ay." Have a good neigh. I immediately hung up too. It was super embarrassing, but at the same time I always laugh when I think about it.
TheWingedCherryPie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:40:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"
rockythesinbin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve said this to a very polite patient when I volunteered at a hospital. They thanked me for something and I was stuck between โYouโre welcomeโ and โNo problemโ when I accidentally said โYouโre problemโ, which couldโve easily sounded like โYour problem.โ Itโs been 6 years and Iโm still mortified.
Elderbridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did the exact same thing a week ago, but it was about more light hearted under the circumstances.
rci22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally say "your problem" just like this ALL the time!
Playswith_squirrel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man I do that too sometimes. So funny after the fact though.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha i have done this.. feels great to know someone else has too. Fuck em!
pretendyourespecial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
XD !!!!!!!!! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
That's what I wanna tell em 90% of the time when they don't like what they're hearing from me
molly__hatchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer told me "have a good day" one time and I was distracted so I just replied/repeated "good."
SansSigma ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:46:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
runesters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking sorry
Pugilisdick ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:49:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking sorry!?
Khoin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:23:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you fucking sorry!?!?
Siriacus ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should have returned his call with:
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"
TheManicMonocle ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โAre you fucking sorry??โ
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY??!
CertifiedBreads ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:35:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY???
PeachAndMangoJuice ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:58:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY
PittasHS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:38:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!"
murderboxsocial ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:47:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"
izzyhindle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:13:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY
MyNameIssPete ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:13:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Umm, I think you meant "you're problem", DUMBASS
Edit: Ah, yes. Classic Reddit. Not understanding jokes.
MnMsLoser ยท 6050 points ยท Posted at 21:46:35 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I answered a customer call when I worked at a movie theater and it was a couple asking me for directions to the theater from wherever they were. They were driving and getting frustrated with me, and I was kind of getting frustrated with them for being mad at me when I assumed they were talking to me on a smartphone, so at some point I said something like, "most people would just use the internet." They did not like that.
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 3490 points ยท Posted at 21:48:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean...you're not wrong
MnMsLoser ยท 788 points ยท Posted at 21:48:47 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:05:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be GPS, not internet?
sometimescool ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:42:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you have to be connected to the internet to use the GPS on your phone?
El_Cheezy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:00:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Technically no. There are map apps including Google maps that let you download maps to your phone. Then you can use it when you're traveling somewhere you don't have internet. I do this whenever I travel internationally and don't want to pay for a new sim/data plan.
sometimescool ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:04:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...but you have to use the internet to download the maps in the first place. If the person wasn't smart enough to use Google maps, they aren't smart enough to download a map.
SlugsAreCute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:19:43 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Woah, that's news to me! Thanks! I don't splurge for a data package for my cel, so I (thought that I) can never use google maps on trips. I'd look at the map beforehand at home using my wifi, and draw the main details out on a paper to take with (don't have a printer at home). Actually I'm currently planning a trip to a big city two weeks from now, so your tip will help me out bigtime!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your phone should receive gps information in airplane mode.
sometimescool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:21:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the context of the post, these people were driving around looking for a movie theatre. In order to use the GPS on their phone, they would use a service like Google maps, which they would need internet to do. The GPS is useless without the map.
zocke1r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless they downloaded the map of the area beforehand
sometimescool ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:17:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...if they downloaded the map why would they be asking for directions?
Korhaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or they know the coordinates of where they are going, and then they can use GPS only, although I don't think Google maps tells you that information, it is what GPS provides.
sometimescool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I highly doubt these people knew the coordinates of the movie theater.
Korhaka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:47:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
GPS just gives your position, the internet is used by the app to also put a map around you.
AirbornElephant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:30:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's both. GPS finds device. Google uses that info to tell you where to go.
McSquiggly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:11:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends what year it was.
ROADHOG_IS_MY_WAIFU ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:18:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OP's not wrong, but the customer's always right! Thus begins the vicious cycle that is: customer service. shudders
Megandapanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:44:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a tax software support line and so many of the calls result in me just Googling their question and giving them an answer with 2.5 seconds. It takes everything I have not to say "why didn't you just Google it?", haha.
robhol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"No, Walter, you're not wrong"
mttdesignz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Standard answer I say in the last years whenever I'm asked for direction: "Ask Google Maps"
Iamnotsmartspender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime someone calls me for the address of the place I work or for directions, I assume the address would be right next to the phone number
[deleted] ยท 414 points ยท Posted at 01:32:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
[deleted] ยท 101 points ยท Posted at 02:06:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Matt111098 ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:14:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People, especially young people, take their mental plasticity for granted because it's all they know. 5 year olds pick up some technology and after playing around with it for a while and a bit of instruction, they just learn and then they're a complete natural. It's fucking magic- especially compared to someone older, who can play/experiment with something, get lessons, practice, and just not learn. The magic of "learning" can just stop working eventually for some people and requires many times more struggle to imitate the effortless miracle it one was.
ProjectKurtz ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 04:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guarantee that older people who need to have the same thing explained to them 20 times are not incapable of learning, it's that they are unwilling to learn, barring some kind of brain trauma or a below functional IQ.
My dad is in his late 60's and he's at least capable of doing something on his phone or on a computer after having it explained once or twice, or barring that he pushes through and learns it without any guidance.
Basically, it's completely regardless of age: Some people are lazy goddamn fucks who don't want to do it for themselves, they just want someone to do it for them.
rupertdeberre ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:52:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of older people fall in to agist stereotypes, and they really believe they're past it. Like you say, being past it is rarely the case. Although we all have some cognitive decline with she, older people can still function as well if not better as long as they're willing to learn.
SIR_VELOCIRAPTOR ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:16:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am under the impression that it's not that they're unwilling to learn, it is just that their view of the task encompasses the entire device, rather than just the singular application they are using.
Take for instance, any pre-90's electrical device. They are usually vulnerable to both corruption via incorrect input, and incorrect output by user error. If you make a mistake, you have to start the process all over again, which instills a sense of fear when inputting data. Also, should you damage/corrupt any part of the device (including external parts - like keypads), the entire thing could become broken/useless.
It is wholly unlike devices of today, where mistakes can be erased/fix by simply going back one step, and should the internal application stop working, a simple restart will fix it. Even most devices can sustain significant physical damage before they become useless.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 10:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
poofybirddesign ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. My coworker isnโt great with current tech, but heโs learning. When he asks us for help he stands there, pays attention, and asks clairifying questions. Then next time he asks about the same task but further down the line.
My mom asks, and then just leaves. She just fucks right off, leaving with half the info of what she even wants to do and refuses to supply that rest because she โdoesnโt understand computersโ. We once got into a massive fight cuz she wanted me to โhelpโ her figure out how to submit online job apps but refused to give me any of the info (ie work history from before I was born) I needed to fill out the application.
There are difficulties, but most of it is willingness to learn.
Luxstrasza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's 72 and knows his way around all his technology better than most young people I know. However he also used to be a computer programmer for a living so he's no stranger to computers.
Matt111098 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:15:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I suppose I was including that "willingness" as part of the difference- older people on average have to overcome that as an extra barrier compared to young people, it's not like they "choose" to be crotchety and tired of learning new stuff while kids "choose" to be excited by every new thing they encounter- even if it's just an effect of societal expectations or pressures that cause them act so rather than some innate difference in brain chemistry or something. I'm mostly talking in general- obviously people can naturally be more or less open to such things and/or choose to put more effort into learning new stuff.
GuruLakshmir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:32:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think my dad is mentally impaired or uniterested in learning technology. Sometimes he expresses his desire to understand it and for me to teach it to him. But he just cannot grasp anything whatsoever related to technology, no matter how many times you show him. But my mom is great at it and only a year younger. Idk
sakurarose20 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My toddler can navigate YouTube better than me, and I'm almost 23.
[deleted] ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 01:45:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I won't help anyone who collects Social Security with anything electronic unless I'm getting paid
RoiMan ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:43:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now I just picture you flipping off your grandma when she asks for tech support lol
Project2r ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you wouldn't help your elder family members with anything electronic ever?
I get why you say that, but you probably are nicer than just flat out refusing to help your mom learn how to use her google calendar app...
ajanata ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:47:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After putting up with so much ineptitude from my family... Yes, yes I would. Just because I am a software engineer and am generally good with computers doesn't mean I know everything about every computer, phone, or piece of software out there. I just fuck around with it until it does what I want it to, or google it. They can do that themselves.
Snote85 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:42:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch. Having someone know you're in a field related to computers is like being an unpaid help desk employee. I went to school for hardware repair (back when that was still a major you could get) and it was like having a million friends you never met when their shit fucked up. I would get calls from the mother of friends I hadn't talked to in years.
I do get that those things were exceptionally expensive at the time and that having any one you knew look at it, would be better than putting it out to pasture (and most did pay me for my time) but still, that's not an excuse to force someone to help you with a problem. Especially before you've done everything you can yourself to diagnose it.
I won't help my sister with tech questions anymore. Because, not once but twice, she called me to fix a TV that turned out to have been unplugged by her cats. I even asked the first time, "From what you're describing it sounds like it's not getting power, have you checked the plug to make sure it's in good?" to which she replied, "Yes." She had not. Now she can check it and call someone else. :D
fatnino ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 02:49:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you show them how to do it step by step, all they absorb is "ask this guy to do it"
thunderling ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:51:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An older person at work asked me to fix this broken computer. I jiggled the monitor cable back into place.
They had watched me do it, and I politely said "Sometimes you just have to make sure all the cords are plugged in. These things sure are finicky!"
A little while later when the same thing happened, someone came and found me and asked me to fix it again. Apparently they had been told by the first person to come to me because I am "good with computers."
Snote85 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:31:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had almost the exact opposite thing happen to me at work the other day. The principal had his computer start acting up and got the Math teacher to look at it. Well, when the teacher did look at it he found out that the principal had a bad power switch. He'd fixed it completely and was done with it save for putting the case back on, when he got called away for bus duty. I asked the principal if he wanted me to finish up. To which he quickly, nearly shouted, "NO!" Like I'd asked if he had a kid I could steal and run away with.
I have over 80 hours in a degree in computer hardware repair and worked in two separate shops fixing computers for a total of about 5 years. He wasn't going to let me put in two case screws. I shrugged and kinda laughed about it but it was still slightly offensive. For the record I've never asked, been asked, nor attempted to fix anything for them. So it's not like he was basing it off of anything. I think he just was afraid I'd undermine what the Math teacher did. Which is honestly a reasonable consideration.
roogoff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's nice they were helping you network, talking you up to people.
MnMsLoser ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:41:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have had more sympathy for them if they were older, but they seemed to be around their 20s. I think the laziness was definitely still a factor though.
8132134558914 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:01:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they're being deliberately lazy in most cases. In my experience they often feel as frustrated and hassled as the person trying to help them.
And because they get frustrated (not to mention embarrassed) they retreat to what's familiar over choosing what's good. Not too long ago asking for directions was a normal request and it was no trouble at all to oblige.
So they do that instead because the last time they tried to use a navigation app something went wrong. They didn't know enough yet to know what went wrong and they could tell that everyone else thinks this is just a simple task and how could they possibly just not figure this out. And there's no way they want to relive that moment so they stick to what they know.
himym101 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:05:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just started a retail job in an area that is popular with retirees. More than once a day, we're asked directions to where the nearest "xyz" store is. And then we either have to download a public transport map for them or draw a physical map on a piece of paper to help them get there. These people all have smartphones but are the keyboard pecking pre-baby boomers who refuse to touch computers because they're not "computer people"
FunnyLittleHippo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My sister is 19 (I'm almost 30) and she calls me lost every few weeks. I finally told her she's calling me on a smart phone, type it into her GPS. She said it didn't work. Turns out she meant she doesn't know how to make it avoid freeways, so it's easier to ask me. She isn't the best driver... I got her a mount for her phone so she can use it hands free while driving. Teach a man to fish, ya know?
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not always old people. I know a teenager who printed out directions to where he had to go and yes he had had a smartphone since he was about 13...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:19:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I write them down instead of using my phone, but that's because it helps me remember so I don't have to check either.
Plus it frees up my phone to play music :)
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:34:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Foxythekid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:26:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You don't fully understand how low the barrier of entry for selling phones is now, do you?
I once got a "smartphone" that couldn't open two apps at once, let alone keep up with its GPS or internet signal. By the end of a two year contract, most modern phones are giant shitty bricks that barely function.
Piee314 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're buying the wrong phones. I've had $99 Android phones that were full capable of doing a decent job for over two years.
Foxythekid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to get a galaxy s5 replaced due to a hardware issue only for the replacement to start having the same issue less than a month later. I had a droid DNA get caught in a boot loop only for the replacement to overheat itself into an early grave while trying to get directions home. (the screen wasn't fully on either, it just couldn't handle Maps)
In the end of the day, if you know your phone will give you trouble, you print directions just in case or decides its had enough.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Piee314 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you printed directions from Google then Google knows where you are going.
cheerful_cynic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:17:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you took your phone with you on your trip, Google probably knows all about where you went and how fast you drove anyways
Aquadan1235 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LastSummerGT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:56:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed it's legal to use just a navigation app. Because how is that different from a GPS screen built into the car or a TomTom/Garmin device?
ruintheenjoyment ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's generally illegal if you're holding it in your hand. If the phone is mounted on the dash it's fine.
kosmos__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're allowed to use hand free devices, ie: Setting up your phone with maps either on a mount or through Bluetooth, and not touching the phone for your trip. You can also turn off location history within Maps.
ayanala ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair he might have shit service in an area and wanted a hard copy of the directions if he lost service
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're called imbeciles
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve heard of many older people who refuse to learn technology and are proud of their ignorance of it. Part of me gets it, why learn something that seems difficult to understand if you donโt need to and youโre happy with how you do things now? But another part of me is like, how can you get by in modern society without learning technology as basic as even an email address?
nomad_kk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:21:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you just gotta understand that they didn't live in the age of fast advancing technology. Look at it this way:
1) your grandparents (or people born in early 20th century) first saw radio, then came TV (in like 20 years or something), then came color tv, then came video players VHS, CD, DVD, BLURAY, then came computers, smaller computers, then phones, then smart phones, tablets and so on.
2) your parents probably started with tv right away
3) we, on the other hand, are used to radios, tv, video players, smartphones and PCs from birth.
I sure as hell get mad at my mom for fucking up settings on her Mac air and samsung phones, though
Snote85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad owns a Body Shop. Since the proliferation of the internet the insurance company has started having him send in pictures of the car to be fixed, instead of sending out an adjuster to do it. This task, for reasons I'll explain, has fallen on me to do. Mainly because he's scared of technology. This dictates when he will get paid, so you would think he would be motivated to figuring out how to do this. He also calls me up at say 6 PM and says, "This has to be done tonight!" Which makes sure I can't plan to do it and evaporates any peace I might have mentally until it's done. He has done this for at least the past 5+ years.
One of the main problems is that he still uses a bellsouth.net email address. An address from a defunct company, absorbed back into AT&T, that has changed its POP3 and SMTP information no fewer than 6 times, since I have had it. So that change causes it to keep fucking up in his outlook express. Causing a big "Fuck you!" error message and no incoming/outgoing email. Currently, I have googled the correct settings and it still won't send/receive emails on his computer.
I have absolutely and definitely set him up a new email, twice, through gmail, but he wants to use his old antiquated nonsensically irritating one. Which is his way of having me do it for him and I am currently "An idiot" for not being able to figure out what settings that AT&T have changed their servers settings to. Not him for continuing to use that email but me for not having psychic powers.
Anyways... So, now, I have to go get the camera, reduce the picture size in a program, (because he has the camera set to take the most storage intensive images he can, which is fine, but I'm not going to drag out the process by sending 5 different emails. When one will do what they want. I also don't want to change the setting in the camera in case they ever need a more detailed picture. This way I can send them a low res version and then follow up with a more detailed one if requested.) scan the estimate, copy the estimate to a thumb-drive (since I don't even have a printer/scanner/copier) that I then have to use to put it on my computer, and then find the info as to where to send it, the estimate number, as well as any other pertinent information that he's written somewhere on a piece of paper that could, and likely does, have other scribbles on it. I also have to stay on top of any requests for more information and write down any confirmation numbers (Since I can't forward them, for obvious reasons.) All this to be called an idiot if any step gets flubbed. Oh, and my favorite part, is if the company drags their feet I'm accused of doing something wrong and costing him money. That's always a fun part of helping someone out. Being called incompetent for things that have never happened once and not being able to make a huge company move at the speed he wants.
He's my Dad and of course I'll do it for him because he needs me to but shit man, learn to do this shit yourself. It will take literally seconds and make both our lives easier.
Edit: Had to clarify some things.
Buixer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I see how that would be a popular policy. You help an old person with some electronic device, you instantly become their go-to tech support for the rest of their lives. It's a nightmare.
theSarx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT, and to be fair, ignorance of technology and it's use isn't exclusive to the elderly.
Zack_Fair_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no that's not true, they still don't know how to use electronics after you show them step by step too
QueenAlpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some of it is willful ignorance. My 75-year-old grandma knows how to read and write emails (although she's embarrassed about her writing, she feels it's not good enough) and actually tries, but on the other hand, my dad refused to figure out how to set the time on a VCR back when they were common and he was much younger. He and his wife even bought a computer, but the most they can do is play solitaire. He doesn't know how to do things on his cellphone, including setting up his voicemail. He has to wait for my sister to come visit if he wants to change the time on anything digital, and he's only 64.
Mugen593 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's honestly because they're that bad.
After working in IT for so many years I feel like they succumb to the mouse in the maze mentality.
They don't understand what the buttons they hit do, or why they're pressing them, but if they hit buttons in a very specific order their desired output is rendered.
It's a lack of understanding of what they're doing, with only an understanding of what their goal is.
Think of it like driving a car. We all know how to drive a car thanks to practice and education, but imagine just putting a blind amish person behind the wheel of a car. They may have heard about cars a few times, but really don't understand on any fundamental level how they work. They might hit the gas, then the brake then the gas suddenly. But they're blind so they don't really see what they're doing. They just know they have to get to the grocery store. They grow flustered, they start getting upset and frustrated at their own ineptitude causing their emotions to overwhelm their logical thinking/rationalization. This will continue until they're just trying every option they can in randomized orders until their goal is met (if met). They've become a mouse in the maze.
Piee314 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:32:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom is like that. She's always writing steps down. On paper, with an actual pen. Just to print an email or something. I try really, really hard not to get exasperated but I often fail.
arvanb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mother does this too, but at least she is taking the initiative to help herself remember, or give her a map to do the things she wants to get done. Also writing things down (with an actual pen) is great in general. It helps you remember things better than just typing it.
Piee314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure I agree with that last point, but if you type directions then you can search for them later. I have an awful memory but I types notes about everything into OneNote. Later I can search and find them again very quickly. It works well.
geckosean ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 02:40:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I recently realized this is a huge generational difference for people my age. If I want to go somewhere I'm not immediately familiar with, I'll just plug it into Apple/Google Maps and go.
The other day at the restaurant I worked at, some older folks at a table were trying to navigate a friend they were meeting and the lady on the phone says "What street is the building on?"
I paused, thought about it, and realized I had absolutely no clue.
I literally had to jog out the front door and down to the street corner to look at the signs. I was legit confused, because it's the kind of thing I just assumed I would know... and yet...
MarcelRED147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
123 Fake Street!
strawberry36 ยท 222 points ยท Posted at 01:20:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Um. Yeah. Most people would use the internet. Because Google Maps is amazing.
Megmegh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg Google Maps is my life
ronin1066 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:16:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waze ftw
aggressivebat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:17:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I friggin love Waze
strawberry36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have Waze but I hardly ever use it. Seems like a cool app though
ronin1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's owned by google, but most people find it better than google maps as far as getting you around slow traffic and whatnot. I find that even my daily commute is easier because i have frequent construction around me.
MnMsLoser ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:38:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's what I'm sayin!
7LeagueBoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on where you are. I've been working overseas for a while and Google Maps missed a lot and places some things 15+ km from where they are.
strawberry36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the US.
7LeagueBoots ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not everyone is, not even everyone on Reddit.
Maladjusted99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
true that
greyrights ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Double true
dreamlike17 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Prolly had an iphone
strawberry36 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have an iPhone and I've got Google Maps
dreamlike17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:26:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Remember the cluster fuck of Apple maps?
strawberry36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep
roogoff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:43:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Possibly
strawberry36 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:48:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mayhaps
complimentarianist ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
not to mention on every phone.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On every smart phone*
Tons of folks out there limiting themselves woth flip phones and the like.
sweetrhymepurereason ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 01:41:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a man call me from his car asking for directions once and I could literally hear his GPS robot voice in the background. I think he was testing me.
Seeeab ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right?? My examples are a little different but I swear sometimes people call in just to see if an employee is lying to them or something. I worked at a hardware store once and all the time people would call in asking if we had stuff in stock or what the price is, information freely accessible on our website (granted it can be a little off on inventory counts but if it says we have 68 rakes we probably have the rake, you know). One time I relayed the price to a customer straight from the shelf and there was a little gasp and a pause. "But your website says it's $._" (can't remember the price but it was a few dollars cheaper). It took me all of half a second to realize the label was just a little old and hadn't been updated in a while, I explained this and apologized and hung up. Took a bit longer for me to realize someone had called in to ask for the price of something they had on the computer right in front of them.
Like, even if the price on the shelf was $100 higher, we would obviously price match with our own website, or they could just order it from the website to get that price anyway without even coming in the store.
We get people who call in just to talk because they're clearly lonely so I have no doubt we get people on the other end who call in just to see if an employee is going to screw something up lol
MnMsLoser ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's great lol. I hope you passed.
thunderling ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:54:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Idiot employee told me to turn on Maple when Google said to turn on Elm because it was 4 minutes faster in traffic this time of day. 1 star."
JonasTheBrother ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:22:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god.
I've been in this exact situation. I was working at sbux. This lady called in and needed directions. After 15 mins of trying to navigate for her, I was finally just like "Look you need to pull over, and hop on Google. I've gotta get back to work" .
She was very upset when she finally found the store.
TastyFace ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:38:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jimbo-Slice22 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:28:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for AT&T and I have customer call me all the time asking for our customer service number. And Iโm like you googled searched my stores number google search customer service.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:37:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MnMsLoser ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:48:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's definitely aggravating. A few clarifying questions are understandable, but at that point it just makes sense to consult a map. Even if the kid didn't have a computer, as a student he had to have had access to a library or something. It's hard to give directions like that without knowing where the person is starting from, too, which was my main issue.
bradorsomething ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:28:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the origin story for your user name?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:17:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ha something similar happened to me. I had just cashed this guy out and then he proceeds to ask for directions getting to a certain highway, one of which I had never heard of. I told him that I wasnโt sure wear that was. He said โ Well how would YOU go about getting there?!!โ I said โ Iโd look it up on my phone.โ He stormed off to his car and brought back in a map, and started asking other customers for directions.
cold_toast_n_butter ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:29:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I work at the public library and one day I had a woman call who wanted me to stay on the phone with her the whole time she drove there, and walk her through every step to make.
TorchyBacon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever I'm really tired and a customers calls me saying something like "I'm trying to find you but I don't know where you're located" it's usually met with "if you tell me where you are/what shops you see and I can help a little better". I'm not a mind reader, I can't tell you to go four fucking stores to the left (where they're usually calling from) if I don't know where exactly you are.
The absolute worst part is when I tell them that I'm located on the exact same strip of shops they're on and they ask if I'm across the parking lot. No. I said "were on the same building as you, you just need to go right down to the end towards the street and I'm on the very corner".
Taggerung2552 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a movie theater and on Sunday some older women called in asking about the new movies we got (Isle of Dogs and Flower) I give her the synopsis of Isle and she then asks for Flower, so I start to read it and halfway through my co-worker starts chuckling which makes me full on burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Luckily the lady thought it was funny too once she realized what the movie was about.
011000110111001001 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember having to print out routes from MapQuest. Now I just look up my route on Google and know exactly when to leave the house!
Dazmen1755 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:26:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If there is one thing I hated about awnser customer calls is that question. How am I suppose to know how to give directions for every place in a 15 mile radius? I can give you a good idea of the surrounding area so you can spot the place but if you are getting mad that I can't give you turn by turn directions, piss off. I don't miss dealing with some customers.
shelbek4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:35:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar experience. Had a delivery driver call my work asking for directions. Weโre in a big industrial area so thereโs hundreds of random warehouses within a 3-4 mile radius.
I give him the nearest intersection and the closest popular business. He starts rattling off random streets and names of buildings he is passing that I donโt recognize. I try asking if heโs near or has passed a few major roads or buildings. He doesnโt know, just continues rattling off names of random shit. So I pull up the area on google maps and try to find anything heโs mentioned with no luck.
After several minutes of this frustrating epic fail, finally the uncontrollable word vomit comes โDonโt you have a phone or GPS you can put our address into? That would probably make this a lot easierโ
To which he disgustedly replied, โNo Iโm an old school truck driver. We find out way without that. Iโll just stop at the next building and ask for directions then.โ
giggles at the irony Still donโt know if we ever got that delivery...
blackdesertnewb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:38:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a hotel in DC area. Lots of calls like that. There were a good amount of them that I convinced to install Waze and try it out. Iโd sell it by telling them that my directions could be great or horrible depending on time of day and if there were any accidents etc. BUT that there was this fantastic app that Even I use every day when driving to work... hehehe
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how we even got to the end of the street without a smartphone. Seriously. I remember printing off reams of paper instructions. One wrong turn and you're fucked. Or honest-to-god maps. How the hell did we read maps without crashing our cars? I'll be damned if I can remember how I survived.
dayoldhansolo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:58:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a theater in highschool that was called Blackhawk movies, we used to say blackcock boobies into the phone
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:28:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a pharmacy and people will come in and ask for the phone number to a certain doctors office. We have a computer on the front counter, and I will say "I dont have that memorized, but let me google that for you", type the name into google, and then turn the screen so they can see the first result which is always the doctors phone and fax number.
99% of the time the customer then pulls out their fucking smartphone and calls the doctor...
oliviathecf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:50:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had someone call and tell me where they were and then ask for the cardinal direction to the dealership I worked at. He was not thrilled with my confusion.
TheInitialGod ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:26:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to take a call once a week from this same old lady asking what movies were playing.
Everytime I answered, I knew I was devoting the next 15 minutes to telling this woman what every film was about. The number of times I had wanted to tell her to look it up on the fucking Internet...
Alexthetetrapod ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:42:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The thing I never understood about this was, how did they get the number? If you're not using Google Maps, it's usually more steps to find a phone number for a particular store, I know you're not driving around with a phone book, so you managed that but couldn't manage looking up the directions?
contagiouscass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:39:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend that makes a point to say, "Let me google that for you..." whenever someone asks him something that can easily be googled.
Gashnor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:16:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, I worked at a hotel and people would call me all the time asking for directions. They'd give awful location markers too, I'd have no idea where they even were.
beerdedlady97 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:31:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always hated getting calls like that because a. you will have more accurate directions if you use your smart phone and b. I only knew the directions of how I got there- if someone was coming from another direction they were SOL.
CarsenAF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:20:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The entitlement of some people man.. It's not your job to ensure an adult can figure out how to get somewhere? If someone asked me I would have said " We don't offer that service sir, you can try mapquest click "
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God, this totally made me remember my days working customer service when I was 18-22 years old. I worked at a hardware store. I'd answer the phone as a cashier with me ringing people up, and some dumbass, it seemed like it was always some old man who needed directions from where they were to the store. I swear to God they'd say "well how do I get there from where I'm at"... and I'd let it pause for a minute, to see if they'd catch what they'd just said to me and how fucking stupid it was... and of course after sitting there and them saying nothing I'd say "well it depends on where you actually are".
How on Earth I worked in customer service for 4 years is beyond me. It really opened my eyes and made me realize how fucking stupid the vast majority of people are. I got in to it with a couple customers a few times.
eharper9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This day&age you'd be crazy to go into a town you dont know without google maps. (Assuming they haven't been there before)
Nosiege ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That request of theirs is totally out of your roles, though.
7echArtist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get these calls all the time where I work and itโs killing me inside not to be able to say that.
brocobasilpestopasta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:06:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Google maps exists for a reason
YikYakCadillac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or when people call in asking what's playing and the showtimes. Shit you can find on the theater's website but were too busy looking for the phone # to notice
KvvXR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They can find the phone number for the theatre, but not the location?
Jesus Christ
Stephenrudolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a lot of customers ask where we are located. My go to response is "by the mall, the old staples building!" any local understands that just fine but a couple times my next sentence has ended up being some variation of "have you tried google mapping it?"
rokudaimehokage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is entirely not your job to play navigator for them. If that were me I would tell them that I can't help them and to use the internet off the bat. I am here to give out tickets and clean up poop not give out directions.
cerealeyes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:02:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve had that happen. A woman called me asking how to get to my store. Iโm bad with directions so I kinda stood there flustered for a moment until she said, โmaybe Iโll just use google maps.โ
Yeah maybe.
WitherWithout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that works in Hospitality - I wish I could say this to so many guests.
cptcarroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:18:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a front desk agent at a hotel and I'll get calls asking how to get to the hotel when the customer DOESN'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. How am I supposed to even help them get to hotel if I have no idea where they are? If they just used Google maps or Waze like a normal person, they would have almost no trouble. God damn people are stupid
Eliju ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady call my store from the mall parking lot asking me where the best place to park was to get to my store. People are insane. It wasnโt even that big of a mall
Drodain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:26:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had someone call my store to ask what time we closed. They had googled the store phone number so they could call with this question.
YourLocalMonarchist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:41:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
there are 3 people.
people who use their phone for directions
people who use a map
And people who can't be assed to do it themselves
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:51:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Phrasing. Say " do you have a smartphone? You can use GPS on that and that might get you here faster." Use a nice tone and they will never realize you're telling them to f*** off and quit wasting your time
DragonDeadite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:01:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a time I got super pissed off at a customer. They kept asking if they take a left or a right when they get to a certain street.
"Well, what direction are you coming from?"
"It doesn't matter! Do I turn left, or right, on Main street?"
"If you're coming from the north, left. If from the south, right."
"That doesn't help! What direction do I turn???"
"You go straight to hell."
PassTheReefer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always interrupt people trying to give me directions to some great place I need to try. I'm like "yea I'll just google it don't worry"
beccaface ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every single time a customer asks me for directions or asks if I know a great vegan Korean BBQ around here I want to scream at them to just google it! I few times I have suggested "It's probably on Apple Maps!" cheerfully to someone who asked me for directions. Bitch, I go from the subway, to here, to my house. I don't know where anything else is!
zz0rzz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously, if someone starts giving me directions anywhere
I probably won't remember
I struggle with road names that people assume are common knowledge and especially ones that are just route numbers (highways are a nightmare)
I'll just put it in my handy dandy GPS in my phone!
Have you noticed GPS in phones becoming worse across the board? Apple Maps used to be the only bad one, but now Google maps is getting worse and Waze is just annoying. Maybe we have become too reliant on them and that's why they seem to be getting worse? Who knows, but I've had a smartphone since I started driving and I do not miss the atlas I used to have to try and read for my parents.
KevinCastle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:36:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe four years ago my 29 year old brother asked me for directions somewhere. I just told him to use his damn phone like everyone else. He tried to get mad at me until my other brother backed me up.
CappuccinoBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shit. Sunday was legitimately the first time in years I saw a flip phone. It's astonishing that even the poorest people I've met have a smartphone. I cannot imagine life without mine, honestly.
Ansonm64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve had people ask me for directions while Iโm at work and I usually would tell them that google is a lot better at directions than I am. Or Iโd offer to just look it up on my phone.
Robinslillie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah at the office where I work downtown people are always wandering in asking about other doctors & other addresses even. I quite frequently say, "I'm not sure but I can Google it."
MoroseOverdose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When are we, as a society, going to stop asking for directions and just look it up online?
FoolingYourself ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They were able to look up the phone number of the theater but not the directions?
Prince-Lee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a huge college campus and fairly often, students will come in asking for directions to X building or Y event.
And while we have maps, theyโre on printer paper and so detailed theyโre nearly impossible to read, much less find the specific building out of the hundred on campus and then trace it back to where we are, giving directions on the fly.
These kids are my age or older (mostly masterโs and PhD students in this area), and I see them on their phones all the time. And yet every time I ask them if they tried looking it up first, they get a look on their face and say something like โOh, I didnโt think of that!โ
Age has nothing to do with things like this.
gumgum ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ORrrrr they are new in town and need directions and don't do every damn thing on the fucking phone you ignorant rude bitch. It isn't your place to question why someone needs directions and if you are too fucking stupid to be able to give good directions then hand the phone to someone who can.
SharpieSunrise ยท 6022 points ยท Posted at 20:35:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was telling clients their dog was dying and they handed me their phone to tell their daughter (on the line, official owner of the dog) what was happening. I took the phone, introduced myself, then promptly said "How are you?"
J2MES ยท 8724 points ยท Posted at 22:57:33 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh im good thanks"
"Well thats all about to change"
whose_butt_hurts ยท 4160 points ยท Posted at 02:12:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How's your dog?"
"Great!"
"You think so?"
Edit:Thanks for the gold!
AnitaPea ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 08:59:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What has four legs but doesn't move?"
"A table?"
"Nope!It's your dog"
Snote85 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 12:44:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, this is Dr. Vet. Let me ask, did you and your dog ever play catch?"
"Oh yeah, all the time! It's his favorite!"
"Not any more..."
FennlyXerxich ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 12:01:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember a comic like that.
โHey son, what has four legs, but doesnโt moveโ
โNice try dad, itโs a tableโ
Holds up dead dog
โNot this time...โ
pizza_engineer ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:59:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Cyanide and Happiness.
Ltcayon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it is.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/imgoingtohellforthis
Psiborgue ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:43:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, it looks like he's dying."
metastasis_d ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:24:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone with a dog, raise your hand. Not so fast.
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:41:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are all horrible people..... I need a new keyboard now :/
CallMeJakeyBoy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:48:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I spilled my hot coffee on my keyboard
Cedira ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 13:17:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What you need is a new coffee.
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never
my_spelling_is_pour ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:19:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Not anymore"
Zeruvi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh really hard, am I a monster
CapnBludd ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out???
Goldcobra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:57:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/DfVxGAFUXSE
Jarltruc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish that were so
PM_ME_UR_XYLOPHONES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You like that, you fucking retard?"
TheDweardedOne ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:44:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something witty in an attempt at gold dogging on the train
Brospankems ยท 680 points ยท Posted at 00:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck your comment made me laugh so hard. I am evil. Poor girl and her dog. Fucking A.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:47:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been uncontrollably laughing for the past ten minutes because of this situation. Seriously that comment needs a gold star.
emojiibro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well, it does now
Omnesquidem ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:06:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a pretty edgy sense of humor and, as much as I love dogs and kids, I still chuckled.
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:16:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ED... WARD...?
Can we play... now?
actuallycallie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
can u not ;_;
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:10:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great episode.
jimmyjamm34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
reminds me of office space. "what if you didn't have a job?"
Reginald_Waterbucket ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:37:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โBoring conversation anywayโ
J2MES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez how many other people are going to comment something better than me, too all the people who downvoted me I was being genuine and now that I read it it sounded pretty sarcastic but I actually thought it was better. thanks
frerky5 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:10:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You: "Everyone that still has a dog in a week say yaaay!"
Girl: "Yaaaay!"
You: "Not so fast."
whyamisoblue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:31:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WHEN THE FIRE NATION ATTACKED
Uncle_Leo93 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:24:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Step forward if you have a grandma. Not so fast, girls."
MilitaryFish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi how's your pooch doing?"
"Ol' skipper is doing just fine actually"
"Is he really though?"
Glocktastic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody with a nice healthy dog please raise your hand. Woah woah woah not so fast there young lady.
EET_Learner ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:47:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you monster. lol
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I could afford to give you gold I absolutely would
Ser_Dunk_the_tall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everything changed when the Fire Nation killed your dog
sandieeeee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oof
RoberTekoZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:54:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude put an NSFW tag there! I'm reading this at work and now I'm laughing, and everyone is watching me :D
J2MES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:46:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe you should show them too lol they will understand
xCosmicChaosx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is so hilarious.
bagajohny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, about to change that is
Ketoplasia ยท 2522 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to happen to me all the time. Walk into a room where I know the appointment is a euthanasia and muscle memory makes me say, "Hey guys, how ya doin'?" Once had a teenage girl, her face streaked with tears, give me this god awful glare and snap, "Not great!"
A colleague was once asked by a little girl during a euthanasia appointment something pertaining to her dog. I don't remember the exact question, but my colleague's response was, "Don't worry, your dog will be dead soon."
Vet medicine is rough.
SharpieSunrise ยท 751 points ยท Posted at 23:42:35 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's totally rough! I'm usually good about saying a less offensive "heart will stop" with euthanasias, but once the owners asked a question or did something that threw me off so when I was telling them what would happen, I said the euthasol injection would "be the one that killed him"...ugh!
Adolph_Fitler ยท 595 points ยท Posted at 01:41:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, man, I know. I've had dogs my whole life, and had to put down more than I've ever wanted to. But, when it's time to do it, you need to do it. I took our 13 year old female lab to get put down a few years ago when she couldn't stand up without crying, wouldn't eat anymore, and couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. Truth be told, I waited a day or two too long, but ultimately felt good with my decision. When I got home and told my 8 year old daughter in an apparently too adult of a manner, she started crying and yelling me. "why did you kill Mattie? I loved her."
Ripped my heart right out.
Aloramother ยท 296 points ยท Posted at 05:29:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to explain cremation to my daughter in the softest way. I did research on what to say what not to say. They were like whatever you do don't say "burned or fire"
I was like "hunny when we get Roger's body back from the vet it's going to be his ashes." and she immediately threw at me "so they are going to burn him in a fire? Why couldn't we just get him stuffed at least then we could still pet him!"
I was not prepared.
____Batman______ ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:52:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the fu
Aloramother ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 07:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it came from my dad who's house has several stuffed hunting trophies that she enjoys petting. I guess that can sound wierd if you don't grow up around hunters.
Keyra13 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 15:56:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So...did ya think of an answer? Or were you just like "I...did not think of that" making her cry even harder?
Aloramother ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 16:06:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told her pets don't usually get stuffed. She didn't seem convinced but accepted that answer. We were actually on our way to my mom's house to watch the movie Coco and she kind if tied his death into the spirit animals in that movie. And it helped her accept it.
Honestly she handled it much better than I did.
Keyra13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Awww. Good on her lol. And quick thinking!
Scumbaggedfriends ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit. I cannot cry this early in the day.
algy888 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:03:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Love her solution though, canโt pet ashes.
re_nonsequiturs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:10:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a song
(Bonus, there's a sign language translator.)
K242 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:23:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, this hits hard for me right now. Had to drive back home last week, my 15 year old Westie was falling off real fast after her latest round of chemotherapy. Exactly like you described: wouldn't eat, wouldn't get up to go the bathroom. Lot of wheezing from congestion. I knew it was the right thing to do, but it was still so damn hard.
For me, the "ripped my heart right out moment" was watching my mom break down in the vet's office. She pretty much collapsed, and kept crying while telling our dog she was sorry she couldn't make her better.
ziburinis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:55:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my girl in January. She had cancer for almost 7 years, and she was going to be 8 in May. We had expected her to pass this year, not because she was showing signs of her cancer coming back but simply because the odds of her dying were just high. She had three different tumors, the one malignant one was destroyed by chemo that we had put her on to get a few months out of her. We were hoping to slow the cancer's growth, we slowed it so much it went away and it wasn't a cancer type that did that, and we couldn't use the more appropriate chemo for her because she would have died from her reaction to it. So we had been expecting her to die every year since she was a puppy. We just thought we'd have some warning.
Sooo, anyway, we schedule her for her normal twice yearly checkup with the oncologist. The night before she was tearing around the house, playing and play fighting with our other dog. That day at the vet her heart gave out from a huge tumor. I felt lucky that we could bring her home to say goodbye (she would get dropped off at the oncologist, it was a long long drive with traffic and we could drop her off, go to work, pick her up and not have to miss a day of work for an appointment as they took a few hours to do the full checkup). I was so happy that there's mobile euthanasia (the company we used is national) because we could give her a little bit of love, she could die where she wouldn't be stressed or scared, and my other dog could get the chance to realize that she's gone.
He would always wait for her when she was at the vet's for the day long check up. Ears pricked, a few times he'd howl, hoping to hear her howl back. He never rested until she came home. He'd fall asleep, but wake back up and listen for her and watch the door for her. The day after she died, he didn't wait for her.
Not only were we heartbroken from the unexpected death, but our hearts had to break again as we watched our other dog massively grieve for her too.
ShiftedLobster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:52:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When my female shepherd passed away my male shepherd walked around the house lost with his ears down yowling and wailing at the top of his lungs for WEEKS on end. It sounded like a Disney movie with all the howling. This dog had never howled before in his life. Iโve never seen or heard such a thing and Iโll never get the sound of his sorrowful cries out of my head. My own cries sounded much like his. Itโll be 4 years in May since she passed and we all still feel her absence.
Sorry for the loss of your girl, it is a pain like no other. Hugs to you and your family.
ziburinis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:18:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we still miss our dog who died right before we got our girl. Some pets you never really stop grieving for.
I knew my boy was going to have issues, which was one reason why we wanted to have him be able to check out my girl after she died. He needed to know that she died and not that she just didn't come home anymore. Your boy was probably looking for her for those weeks. One of the reasons that wolves (and dogs) howl is to keep in touch and find other members of their pack. We simply could not do that to my boy and we had planned ahead that he would be allowed to examine his buddy after she died, no matter if we managed to do it at home or if she died at the vet's.
He's got some issues right now with being alone and noises scaring him into a panic. My house is extremely quiet because I'm deaf, I don't even own a radio or use an alarm clock (well, I have one but it's a living alarm clock) and so we had to put him on prozac. He's doing much better and we think that we can wean him off in a couple more months fingers crossed We're also going to get another dog but it won't be ready to come home until late sept/early october, and I think it's good for him to learn to be alone and get some more confidence before his new buddy arrives.
actuallycallie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
when they can do the euthanasia at home, it's so much less stress on the animal. They don't have to take a scary car ride, move around, be in a strange place. They can be in their home with their favorite people. I hope I'm able to do this when it's our kitty's time (hopefully many years from now. She's only 8.)
ziburinis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly why we did it. She got to go lying on her favorite dog bed, under the blanket that she came home with as a puppy. She always demanded a blanket any time she was going to sleep when she was alive and loved her cave bed so we were damn well going to see her out under a blanket.
Drink-my-koolaid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poor puppy:( Do you have a picture?
FuckoffDemetri ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:29:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't let her say goodbye?
OrCurrentResident ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:04:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โBecause you loved her.โ
Kidโs gotta learn sometime.
bonerjamz12345 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:33:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Mattie was a little shit who questioned my decisions"
bearlegion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:12:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh mate, that's ruff
PugSwagMaster ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:28:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck wouldn't you let her say goodbye? She doesn't have to be in the room but at least give her that
KvvXR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting comment for that name, funnily enough.
Adolph_Fitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The twist would have been if I had her cremated.
PistolMama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our 13 year old Shepard is getting close. She is still mostly mobile so not too bad yet. We are talking to the kids and trying to make it better for them but there is just no way to make it easy. They have known her all their life. Next few weeks will be rough.
uterinesingularity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, why does every thread make me feel this way.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Adolph_Fitler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:32:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, wow. I think that's a little bit tougher there.
I'm sure my inbox will be flooded with "it's the same thing." No. No, it's not. Losing a close relative is not the same as losing a dog that lives outside.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:51:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Adolph_Fitler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:07:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kids aren't dumb. She saw the dog going downhill, and everyone knew it was coming. Everyone just didn't know that day. I was on my way to work after everyone had left for school, the dog was laying on the ground, whining, and couldn't get up. I saw it was time to go, so I did what I had to do. That's what folks who run a household do.
actuallycallie ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:37:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If the animal is really miserable, it's just cruel to the animal to make them wait hours for someone to get home from school. It's kinder to not make them suffer. It's not great for the kid, but they will eventually understand.
EET_Learner ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 00:48:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this is cringe worthy. Tough gig.
Neat_On_The_Rocks ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:54:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
where i work i talk to people by phone whose house has just burned down just about everyday. Accidentlaly asking "how are you!" is a weekly thing.
I once spoke to a women whose husband and daughter had just died in the fire and asked "how are you!"
OOF
Guessimagirl ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:13:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
:(
Neat_On_The_Rocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah, its a tough gig sometimes. Thankfully its only by phone.
tsabracadabra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:25:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work a similar line of work and its rough. :(
LunarNight ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:54:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad died last year, from a heart attack, I had been consoling myself that it was fairly quick, but was explaining what happened to a doctor friend (my dad sat up suddenly, clutched his chest and said "that's the worst pain I've ever felt") My doctor friend said "Oh, that would have been his heart tearing open"... Was no longer consoled. Poor Dad.
ApostateCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:48:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds horrendous. Sorry for your loss
krakdaddy ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:33:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that level of "fuck the bullshit, you know what's about to happen" would have been really helpful to me when I had to have my cat killed. I knew what was happening. I knew it was for the best. I knew that it was the kinder option for my friend, and even though I was devastated (still am, and it's been almost a decade), I knew it would have been selfish to drag Kitty's pain out any further to appease my own guilt. Pithy euphemisms don't help. Real Talk does.
I admit, though, I was openly crying in front of everyone, so I would have been hard to identify as the person internally screaming for a reality check.
TheRealSaerileth ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:23:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a vet snap at a coworker "this cat doesn't need antibiitics, it needs to be put down!", right next to me. To his credit, he seemed to immediately regret the comment and was very gentle when I started crying.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:29:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
anotherqueenx ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:41:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My vet said that as well. If it's any consolation: I didn't like it, but it was the truth, and I needed that in that moment. It helped withthe grieving. Maybe those owners needed it as well.
wolfman1911 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:48:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think I would appreciate that more. I don't remember how old I was, I want to say teenager, when I had to get my cat put down. I know that he meant well, but it irritated me the way he would repeat something along the lines of 'humanely euthanize' like it was some kind of mantra. He kept repeating it. I know crass isn't the right word to describe how it felt, but the way he kept doing it made me feel like he was trying to pull one over on me. I'm glad my dad was there, and the vet was talking to him, because I wanted to say something like 'this isn't hocus pocus, just tell me the cat is going to die.'
gobells1126 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:41:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've had to put a few dogs down in my time, as an owner, but the best one was about five years ago. The vet doing the euthanasia loads up a MASSIVE valium vial and administers it. My dog goes out like a light, and the vet goes "Oh shit that might have done it" and after we all have a tearful chiuckle says "Well, we still have to do the formalities" and administered the final drug. Turns out he took the weight off his chart from his previous visit, when he was about 20lbs heavier.
PKfireice ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:32:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Missed opportunity
ctrtanc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you put this here. I was worried no one had yet!
spiritrain ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:20:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hooolyyyy shit. My doctor would have definitely fired me if I said that even if it was by accident.
icracknuts ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:21:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ughhhh I always get so awkward after euthanasiaโs and the amount of times Iโve said โhave a great day!โ to clients after just putting their dog down kills me inside.
I just want to stay in treatment all day so I can avoid human interaction and not make a fool of myself.
damnisuckatreddit ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:54:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's any consolation, when I finally convinced my parents to put down our 17 year old (!!!) pointer/brittany mix, the vet tech doing it was possibly the most awkward human being alive, she literally said "oh wow he's been going a bit too long hasn't he" (in reference to his being, y'know, a 17 year old 75lb dog with tumors everywhere, cataracts, and barely able to stand), and when his paper-thin veins collapsed on three out of four legs she said something like "let's hope this last one holds or we might have to get a bit violent". My dad wasn't super amused by this, but I thought it was hilarious, and honestly pretty comforting because it reminded me that old dogs being put to sleep is something that happens every day. This girl had euthanized so many dogs she was forgetting to be tactful about it, and I dunno that just made it seem less horrible to me.
Also, even when the vein held, Bailey refused to pass out until she'd pumped like 3 syringes into him, and then he wouldn't actually die until she did a 4th. She was like "wow he really doesn't want to go", and while that might have been awful, I replied with "yeah he's always been a stubborn asshole", which was a nice transition into talking about his life instead of focusing on his imminent death.
icracknuts ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know Iโm not the only awkward tech in the field! Iโve assisted with at least 100 euthanasiaโs over the years, and youโd think Iโd figure out the right thing to say when clients are leaving but my mind goes blank.
Iโm sorry about your furry friend, but it sure sounds like he didnโt want to go down without a fight! I bet he was a very good boy.
OgelEtarip ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey guys, how ya doin'"?
"Not great!"
"Well, you are about to be doin' a lot worse!"
Aloramother ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to bring my cat in on Friday to be cremated. I felt awful being in line crying with my heavy box in a room full of people with their very alive pets. It was horrible.
Then at the end of the transaction the desk lady asked "do you want a receipt of your purchase" and I could just see the horror in her face and she was backtracking like "no no you don't want one do you"
Very kind people though.
Drink-my-koolaid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:28:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our vet now has a separate door that's private, so you don't have to walk through the main waiting room for times such as these. What was your cat's name?
Aloramother ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Roger :) I got him at 11 and he lived a good long 16 years
llDurbinll ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:58:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I took my cat in to get euthanized after he stopped eating and surgery was going to cost way too much. One of vet techs comes in and goes "Hi. How's Smokey doing today?"
I just responded with "Well, he's here to be put down, so not great." She got so red and walked out without saying anything.
heatherayn ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:39:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady apologized to me once because her dog was so heavy, I responded with something about dead weight. I had to leave the room after I realized what I said.
pizza_engineer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:03:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Mom is a retired veterinarian, after practicing for something like 30 years.
I think she cried at every single euthanasia she performed in those 30 years.
SlothyTheSloth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:22:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I really hate that the vet and vet techs only see me and my animals once a year for physicals and then on our worst days. They help me and my pets have soooo many good days.
knightsbridge- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:39:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to have my cat euthanised last year. Kidney disease, progressive, sad ending.
So I come out of the vet's room, face streaked with tears, holding a clearly empty cat carrier (held wrong way up, door open) when I'd come in an hour ago with a cat in it, having just had my pet of 15yr pass away in my arms. I need to pay, so I head to the desk, still crying a bit.
The receptionist glances at me only briefly as she's on the phone and gives me a little "one sec" motion. I wait. She finishes the call. She still hasn't really looked at my face. She asks me for my name and then asks if I'll need to schedule a follow-up appointment.
I was too shocked to really react. I just said "No."
She taps through my file, then seems to finally get to the latest note and finally sees what she is billing me for. She then takes a proper look at my face and says "Oh! Oh, I'm sorry!"
At the time, I wasn't paying attention, but she must have been mortified.
Nicksdabest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It took me to the last line to realise this wasn't human euthanasia...
Vctoreh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpUWrl3-mc8
essenoh2you ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a vet tech. Glad I got out of it! The emotional (and physical) stress is not worth the low pay. I think you really have to love it to last in that kind of career.
Ketoplasia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I did it for about 3 years and had to get out. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the people who can make a career out of it.
TheMysteriousMid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not Great Bob!
patrickislucii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is all so bad but so funny It's bad bcus the same thing happened to me today (my dog being euthanized) but funny bcus muscle memory making y'all say that
pepsi_fountain_man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:01:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Vet medicine is ruff...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:09:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A ruff world indeed, my friend.
Hypnoticsloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:08:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*ruff
xeribulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god why is this so funny? I am so sorry
flavored_icecream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Admit it - you did that on purpose.
sowetoninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit this is one of the worst (best?) ones I've read in this thread.
krazyeyekilluh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:28:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Putting my dog down is the worst thing I have ever done. Tears in my eyes as I type this.
PsychosomaticJester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed at this harder than I should have.
metans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw my half brother in January. I don't see him all that often, and didn't see him at Christmas last year. Out of habit I asked him "how was your Christmas?" And I was a little taken aback when he said "a bit shit really."
Then I remembered he lost his mum to cancer in November. Talk about wanting the ground to swallow you up.
pongky77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:52 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Crap, upon first reading this, I thought the euthanasia was for the HUMANS =/ hmmm, must get head checked out
lessmiserables ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Av3ngedAngel ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Almost 2 hours late there
rs_alli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds ruff haha okay I'm done
evanskov ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:06:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I got all the way through your first paragraph thinking it was about human medicine and it was some heavy shit for a second there.
grape_jelly_sammich ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:08:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ruff* :-(
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 1833 points ยท Posted at 20:42:28 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, fine. And you?"
"Can't complain, just another day at the office. I was going to tell you something but I forgot. It'll probably come to me after I watch your dog die. Anyhoo, I gotta get back to work. Good talking to you, here's your mom."
scarf_prank_hikers ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 04:30:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"your mom's staring at me like she wants me to keep talking. So, Uh, I'm always a little tired after lunch, and could use a short nap. A cat nap is better than a dirt nap. Anyhow, I've got to get back to it. You picking up what I'm putting down?... Figuratively of course."
PM_ME_UR_ASIAN_BODY ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck. First comment all day to make me laugh out loud. I wouldn't have even caught that double entendre without you adding the "Figuratively of course".
Oh god that's terrible and fantastic and I can't stop laughing. Bravo.
Fun_Stick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely read this with Peter Griffin in mind, in his voice too.
J2MES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:04 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I credit my comment to you as you made me think of it therefor technically in a way you made it. Very funny stuff man you da og
illy-chan ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 23:06:06 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Automatic social interactions are a bitch.
Merlord ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:49:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Y-You too
thesimplemachine ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:05:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a fun new phrase for you: those automatic bits of conversation that don't really convey any useful information are called "phatic expressions." We use them all the time in small talk and other casual social encounters.
A good example is when you say to a stranger, "How are you?" and they reply "Good." Both are phatic expressions because there is no meaningful communication happening; it's just a socially expected, polite exchange.
illy-chan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:07:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, TIL. Thanks.
motodriveby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:16:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to be a few minutes late to work today so I called and the new manager picked up. I explained who I was and that I was about two minutes from parking my car; his response was 'Will do.'
'Okay...thanks.'
-click-
jimmahdean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the phone with a customer while reading an IM that said something about something being retarded once. He asked "How are you?" and my response was "I'm retarded, thanks. How are you?"
This was four years ago and I'm still embarrassed about it.
Smudgicul ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm dying to know the news about my dog!"
"What a coincidence."
banjohusky95 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sorry. That's a stupid question. Force of habit"
backwardsbloom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:14:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recently had a friend pass away, and while I had done well telling my coworkers and classmates that I was โhanging in thereโ or โeh, a little better,โ I went to a little friend memorial brunch.
Being around people who also knew him, there to celebrate his life, when one asked โHow are you doing?โ my jaw dropped a little, and... nothing came out. I couldnโt lie to these people, but I also wasnโt really wanting to bust out crying either. She quickly followed up with, โOh thatโs just the worst question, Iโm so sorry.โ
So donโt worry, it happens to the people going through the grief at times, too.
Zooomz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of weaksauce parents gets someone else to break the news to their kid? That's not how you handle death with children...
SharpieSunrise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:35:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They weren't weaksauce parents and she's not a young child. She was aware of the situation before the phone was handed to me in the first place.
Zooomz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha, I guess I assumed this was a younger daughter for whatever reason - the actual owner line should have been a hint to me. That'll show me to assume.
RealHannahMontana ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would they make you tell their daughter over the phone? I feel like i would would rather hear it from a parent than the vet
stahlpferd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:57:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In most states you have to get consent from the legal owner to euthanize an animal. So if the daughter was above adult age but the dog was living at the parents' home the vet would explain the situation to make sure she didn't want to try further treatment or other options. It's more of a legal issue because unfortunately people sometimes bring animals in that they don't legally own and want to have put down.
REDDITATO_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:22:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even in that situation the parent could still break the news. Just put the person on after to give consent to euthanize.
stahlpferd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah they could, but a lot of times the parents are too emotional. I've had to have the phone conversation with plenty of spouses/adult children/legal owners. It sucks but it is part of the job.
fff8e7cosmic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes you just pass the buck
SharpieSunrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was three hours away and the dog was suffering. I was in touch with the mom because that was the number on file, but she called her daughter on her way in to let her know what was happening. Even though the daughter was aware of what was going on, everyone wants to talk to the person in charge, which was me. Plus telephone can be a bitch of a game, so I'd rather have talked to her personally rather than through her parents anyway!
TechniChara ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:35:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is no one else wondering about the parenting fail? Who tells a stranger to tell their daughter something as emotionally devastating as their best friend is dying?
alitairi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When leaving a voicemail to a client to let them know their cat died during surgery, I ended the voicemail with "I hope you have a great day!" out of instinct...
backwardsbloom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yโall leave that on peopleโs voicemail? That feels a bit harsh.
alitairi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing but my boss made me anyway, hence my awkward message left. =/
backwardsbloom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks, sorry you had to be the one to break that news, canโt be easy.
owlrecluse ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:46:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I had to go get one of my rats put down, I was that person.
"How are you holding up?"
"okay and yourself? mind buffers wait, no, I'm terrible. Sorry."
draginator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:50:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell did the parents put that on you, seems like it's their problem.
complimentarianist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: OP works at a lawnmower store. x_x
Txtxtz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A friend had a story from a vet they knew. Its been awhile, so I hope I get the details right.
A cat had been brought in to be euthanized. There was a room with a window, that was used for the procedure in the event that the family wanted to watch.
The family did, and they were being led out of the room, around the corner and to the window. They got to the window just in time to see the vet flailing around and bashing her arm, with the cat wrapped around it, into the table.
Apparently the cat had gone from docile to full on attack and went after the vet.
ApostateCat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's such an awful scenario but I can TOTALLY picture my bad ass tortie pulling a stunt like that...fiesty to the end.
Ruff-Puff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't understand why you would want to watch through a window instead of by your pet's side. Their cat didn't want them to leave. :(
Jentrification ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to take my kitty to be put down a few years back after his kidneys started failing. He was a mess, poor boy. I had a terrible chest infection at the time and looked rough AF. Vet took one look at me and asked who he was putting down, me or the cat? I can appreciate the humour now but at the time I wanted to slap him!
coolasafool462 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I ask patients all the time, more as a shorthand for "are you doing okay?" or to show concern.
Obscu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm good"
"Let me fix that for you."
Tw15t3d_Jordan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is it really your job though, like why would they make you talk to their daughter on the phone? To make you feel guilty?
SharpieSunrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It is my job. Her parents called to tell her things weren't going well, they laid the groundwork. It's my job to talk to her and let her know what I'm seeing and what my recommendations are. I've talked to owners on the phone before when pet sitters or friends bring them in - they need to be informed just as much as the people bringing a pet in do.
Tw15t3d_Jordan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:01:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh i thought the parents owned the dog and they just made you talk to her so they wouldn't have to, I misunderstood. I'm trying to become a vet too so i just was curious if that was one of the responsibilities
SharpieSunrise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No worries! Even if the parents didn't want to, I would have still talked to her because she's the dogs owner and has a right to know what's going on. Vet med has a ton of communication with people, sometimes over the phone if they're not there. No it's not ideal, but I always think about if I was in their position I'd want someone to be patient and talk with me too. Best of luck!
Pickingupthepieces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:50:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said that to my friend at her Momโs funeral. Fortunately, she chuckled a bit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For fucks sakes you reminded me of this super cringe thing I did. My uncle has ALS. At his fundraiser to help pay for bills I went up to him and asked โhow are you doing?โ I donโt think Iโve ever cringed as much as I did right there in my life
Patzzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay this is the best/worst one
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking hilarious, and I have 2 questions:
1) who the fuck makes a stranger deliver this news to their daughter
2) how did the convo go?
djs-specs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I used to have to draw blood, I used to say that to poor hospital patients ALL the damn time. I am not good with the social interactions thing.
TheMightyGoatMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:44:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have a dog?"
"Yes"
"Wanna bet?"
AbysmalBelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao take my upvote.
robobreasts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Next time get Dr. Kyle to do it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-LKVqova-o
deviousfalcon67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, it didn't register that you could be a vet or something, so I assumed you worked at Walmart and we're telling customers their dogs were dying. I was very confused for a minute
abrokenjar23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said the same to my boss when he called up after his motherโs funeral. Whoops ๐
Sengoku36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this shit to my neighbour's son, who's father (my neighbour) had passed the morning of. We went over and as we all greeted I shook his hand and asked in a cheery manner, "hey how are you?"
nucularTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OfficialCandiehn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a funeral for a family friend and was talking to people with my cousin and we started talking to the son. I started off by saying how are you and he gave me a really bad look, I felt so bad I knew how he was I just always say that it was instinct.
Alpr101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad and family HATE 'How are you' when you're in a time of mourning. My dads oldest sister was passing away and a pastor came in and said that. Boy he had to control himself not throwing him out. "HOW AM I? MY SISTER IS DYING YOU PRICK!"
Kind stuck with me now and it makes sense, but it just seems to be the usual question because you don't really know what to say lol
fadecomic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'm being stupid, but I don't really get what is wrong with this. What's the alternative? Launching into the bad news? That seems colder and a bit stranger to me.
Mgoin129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"so how about I casually weave your diagnosis into a conversation. Sound like something we can do?" "uh yeah sure.."
"So how are you?"
"Uh good?"
"Oh thats weird be cause you have leukemia"
PileofWood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the old Han Solo
_Sausage_fingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:18:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh, when I was 15 I said this to my cousin at her fatherโs funeral. Not my best moment.
justlookingaround254 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a paralegal. After weeks of searching I finally found the deceased's long lost children ( he burnt off on them and got a new family). So, lady answers the phone and I say I ask if her name is Laurie C. It is, before I could think in a very excited voice I say " Goodness I've been trying to find you for weeks, I'm calling from _______ Attorney's office, we're probating your Father's Will!!!!" Needless to say, she was nowhere near as excited as I was.
ikonmel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The worst... I work in HR and sometimes have to help terminate/fire employees. Without fail, as they are walking out the door I'll say "Ok, see you later!" I even tell myself not to say it but it still comes out.
caeloequos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:19 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did something like this when I called my sister after our grandfather passed away.
"Hey sister! How's it going?"
"Good, what's up?"
"Well...Papa died last night..."
It was a rather stressful few days.
OMFGSteve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:23 on April 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a dog running in the middle of the street once, I pulled over to try and catch him, ended up getting hit by a car (it was a smaller dog). Anywho, dodged some traffic, grabbed the little dude, and tore off to the vets office. Brought him in, and the lady asks whats happening, and told her exactly that "this dog was hit by a car, i don't know who the owner is".
I stood around for a minute waiting to make sure there wasn't anything i could do, in walks this dogs owners, with a small boy maybe 8ish (I was 17 around now). They go into a waiting room. Receptionist walks in, tells me she's so sorry, my dog didn't make it. Nope nope nope, "Oh, i don't own the dog, the owners are in the waiting room down there". She said "Can you break the news to them when you go back". and left.
I've never felt so horribly.
Beklaktuar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What has four legs and doesn't move?
sw4ahl ยท 4009 points ยท Posted at 20:30:05 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, are you doing drugs in the restroom?" And then he pulled a knife on me.
Florianus ยท 2226 points ยท Posted at 21:12:20 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing the answer wasn't no.
Hyro0o0 ยท 349 points ยท Posted at 05:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But what a twist if it was no.
guy pulls knife
"...nope!"
walks away
kharmatika ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:59:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โShow me what you have!โ โA KNIFEโ โNOOOO!โ
thewildjr ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 17:11:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something out of an asdfmovie
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 1165 points ยท Posted at 20:31:23 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's one way to tell someone to mind your own business
Willstroyer ยท 608 points ยท Posted at 22:21:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You better not tell mom"
[deleted] ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Okay, dad I won't tell Mom, geez."
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:51:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"it was a virus. don't tell dad!"
humble-spook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
Alexthegreat0521 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:10:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brother?!?
spiderlanewales ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Why were you watching this?"
"DON'T TELL MA-HAW-HAW-HAW-AWHMMMMMMM!"
the_river_nihil ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:42:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a customer doing drugs in the bathroom (single-occupancy mind you), so I knock. Nothing. Knock again. No response. Yell at them, identifying myself as an employee, no response. Then I said "Sir if you don't respond I'm going to assume you've OD'd and an ambulance will be called on your behalf."
"BE OUT IN JUST A MINUTE SORRY!"
Neodymium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how did you know he wasn't just having a difficult poop? and was embarrassed when you knocked? I guess he might have come out with a big bag of drugs or something.
the_river_nihil ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:19:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I can never know for sure, that bathroom was a notorious shooting gallery.
[deleted] ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 22:45:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
DARE getting more desperate
ToastyNathan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:22:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw them dancing to "Who Let the Dogs Out" in front of safeway where girl scouts would normally sell cookies.
KennstDuCuntsDew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:36:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The new ad campaign for the young, broke, and desperate potential targets of DARE revolves around muggings and B&E being much more successful without drugs in your system. Don't get caught assaulting someone: Assault them sober.
sirjonsnow ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:26:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What are you gonna do, stab me?
Emeraldis_ ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:12:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
-Man who died from being stabbed
bonerjamz12345 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:36:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
swing and a miss
AustinXTyler ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIโll take that as a noโ
Walk out and become ethereal
rebekahah ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:20:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus dude what happened??
sw4ahl ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 23:33:45 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Short skinny guy was obviously doing drugs in the restroom. Unlike all the other times this has happened, this one was causing a problem.
Large ex-military co-worker held him until the cops arrived.
I was told never to do anything that stupid again.
teawreckshero ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:27:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So uh...walmart?
sw4ahl ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:34:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Close. Target.
Emeraldis_ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:11:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So less terrible Walmart?
danhern ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:35:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. That's why he said "close"
kurburux ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did he disarm him if he had a knife?
_rossmc92 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:01:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear this exact exchange happened at a bar I frequent just last week. Is your name Rob?
sw4ahl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. And this happened at least a couple years ago.
That would have been one hell of a coincidence.
IwillBeDamned ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"no! are you doing drugs out there, though??"
Byunas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did he Kill you ?
justaddbooze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:48:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Alriiiighty then, enjoy your drugs in the restroom.
IForgotMyPasswordGrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my, I need some context here.
ecila82 ยท 750 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a bakery years ago. We had bagged up mince pies on the counter for Christmas. Customer asks me "What do you do with these?" and my instant response was "You eat them sir". He found it hilarious thank goodness! He then clarified, wanting to know how to serve them (hot or cold). My Dad still brings it up.
[deleted] ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 07:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wow, i couldnt imagine someone actually getting angry about something like that. Its much funnier to just laugh it off.
oldpaintunderthenew ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:01:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't have understood his question either if it makes you feel any better.
Panzerbeards ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:56:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Neither would I. There's no space in my world for mince pies that aren't warmed up and topped with brandy butter.
pickledpop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm brandy butter
YouDontKnowMe2017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:47 on May 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worst stripper name ever
backtoril ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:28:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a cash register for a 24/7 department store, I had a night shift and it was a slow night. I was serving a customer and whilst she was bagging her items, I decided to sneak a peek at my phone. She asked me 'How'd you find it?' and nodded in the direction of the phone, so I replied 'In the technology department, there's an Apple devices section'. What she meant was 'how do you find it' as in do I think it's a good product, not where it was located :')
PinkDalek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, how do you serve them? Room temp? Warm?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:12:22 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol, I gave a similar answer when a lady asked me, "How do you sell your popcorn?" "We sell it." She kept staring at me as did her husband trying to figure out if I was joking or not. I was dead serious (I didn't understand the context of their question) and my manager had to step in and asked if they could give a little more detail about what they were asking.
They wanted to know how our popcorn was made and how it differed from a similar brand. (I had no clue about the other brand except they were both exactly the same as far as I was aware.)
MotherOfKrakens95 ยท 3035 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Fine, call the manager in the morning, I don't give a shit."
Seriously she told him the same thing I did. But you're supposed to pretend you give a shit. And I swore.
CappuccinoBoy ยท 2088 points ยท Posted at 04:56:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I was working at this pizza shop a couple years ago. These two guys park, an hour after closing, and start trying to come into the lobby. It's like, we have the "closed" sign on the door, it's obvious it's locked. So they walk around to the drive thru window and keep ringing the stupid buzzer we have. Finally, my manager opens the window and tells them we're closed. So they just keep trying to order food and finally, after a literal 15 minutes, my manager caves and takes their stupidly large order.
I think it was 2 medium pizzas, a large salad, and a dozen wings. So they start bitching that it's expensive and that it's a rip off and shit. My manager stands firm and tells them to pay or gtfo. So they reluctantly pay, and I start making the food.
Eventually give it to them, and they drive off. Just as we're setting the alarm to leave, we get a call. My manager picks it up on the last ring and puts it on speaker phone. It was those fucking guys. They called to complain that the wings we gave them weren't all drum and that the salad didn't have enough dressing packets. So they demanded we refund them and make them a new order now. My manager says without even an ounce of hesitation, "yeah, you can go fuck yourselves, you piece of shit." The guy fucking lost it, and started saying something but we hung up and left. I went ahead and texted the manager that was opening the following day to give her a little warning.
The next morning the guy comes by and starts demanding they make him food for free and that he's gonna sue the restaurant and that he knows the owner and they gold together. The owner was there, just out of view from the counter. He walks around and says something like "yeah, I don't know you. Get the fuck out."
God, I loved that. But damn, people suck.
RubberReptile ยท 624 points ยท Posted at 07:03:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 14 I worked in a chicken place in a small town. Usually I was the only worker closing. The chicken in the warmer right at close was half off so it would go fast. We had regulars that would come in and clear us out.
I had a drunk tourist and his wife come in while I'm cleaning and demand half off chicken, and of course I didn't have any left so instead they demand I make them a giant order of chicken at half price. I told them the kitchen was closed. They bitch up a storm, swearing, calling me names, the usual trash, so I said sure, fine, just wait out front it'll be about fifteen minutes. I didn't take any cash. I just locked the door behind them, turned off the lights and left out the back door.
I like to hope they waited a long time before realizing.
VirtuosoX ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 11:58:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
14 yr old you is a mad lad.
eROCKtic ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 15:45:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why in the world would they think they could get it for half off?
kafoozalum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:00:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why.
Depigr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah !!!
MotherOfKrakens95 ยท 267 points ยท Posted at 05:06:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yepp, I work at a gas station/pizza place too. Buncha bastards, I tell you hwat. Some guy got all mad once because weather was so bad we weren't delivering, but decided to come pick up the pizza anyways. When he got there he told me and my coworker that "making" him drive out there to get his own pizza (in the middle of a freaking blizzard) was awful of us, and who was responsible for calling off delivery, how can he make a complaint about it? Because he thinks his life is worth more than either of ours, and we should have personally driven it out to him. ???? Delivery driver wasn't even there, the district manager called off delivery herself, and there was only two of us and it's illegal(?) I guess to leave only one person working there alone, for safety's sake. Either way we definitely would have gotten fired had we even tried. And I don't know why he thought telling me he doesn't mind whether I live or die over his $12 pizza was going to somehow motivate me to do what he wanted.
nat_r ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 12:20:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are just narcissistic assholes.
Fed_up_with_Reddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:04:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/raisedbynarcissists
Mac4491 ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 08:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I know the owner. I'm going to make sure they fire you."
You know the owner? The owner of this non-franchised chain company with over 800 locations throughout the UK? You know this multi-millionaire Englishman? You, a Scotsman from the north east who I'm pretty sure is known for dealing coke round the back of the pub down the road? You're personal friends with the owner?
"Alright, you can give him a call on your way out the door."
SangEntar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:42:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Spoons?
Mac4491 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely
SangEntar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:52:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the cheap visits with the lads. Pre-club drinks on the cheap. A cheap greasy fry up the next morning. How I love thee, Spoons.
Nivomi ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 09:34:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a family business, and I'm disappointed that I only got a "I know the owner" once.
"Oh, I'm their son, nice ta meet ya! Where do ya know the big boss from?"
The look on that dude's face trying to figure out how to salvage the situation was perfect.
We definitely got a lot of assholes pulling bullshit, swearing at staff and saying they'd tell the owner when we kicked them out, and then coming back and getting banned when they tried to tell tales, though.
Araneomorphae ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 07:49:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go-to answer with "I know the owner" was :
"Oh I am so sorry. I'll call him right now so he can tell me exactly what he wants me to do for you"
"Oh no no it's ok I'll call them right now."
"No don't worry I have their personal numbers, I'll call him so I can help you as fast as possible."
They usually ran out of the store.
Mantuko ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 11:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once at the front desk I had this lady yell at me that she knew the owner and that she was gonna get me fired because her room was not ready before check in time. The Owner of the hotel (he owns basically all the hotels on that island) was in a meeting in the lobby and saw everything. He walked to the front desk, put his chin on his hand and waited for her to finish (he is stupid rich but loves wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts so he just looks like another tourist). He asked her:
oooh you know the owner? in a really impressed voice.
She replied: Pfff Of course, Him and I we are quite close, if you know what I mean.
He laughed and goes: Yeah, no. I don't fuck ugly. You points at security guard get her out of my hotel, she is annoying my front desk agent. and walked away.
Her face was a poem.
CorsetofWords ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 14:15:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first reaction is; 'I'd watch this show.'
Tranner10 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 10:00:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Raging justice boner
theinsanepotato ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 11:21:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah your manager should have been fired on the spot. Not for telling them to go fuck themselves; he was right to do that. But they actually took an order after closing? Nah. Gtfo the restaurant business. Never, ever take orders after closing. Much less aan hour after closing.
dreamsfortress ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:47:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The beginning of your story reminded me of this.
MrPureinstinct ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:16:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is a shitty manager to take their order in my opinion. You guys closed over a hour ago and he decided to stay late to take their order? Yeah I don't think so. I would have gone home and made the manager do it themselves if they wanted the order that badly.
Aves_HomoSapien ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:04:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the little diver bar a frequent the owner is sitting at the bar having a beer like 90% of the time. I know a bunch of people who work there and end up there after work most days of the week. It's staggering the amount of people who get mad about how a drink was made and claim they know the owner blah blah blah while he's sitting 3 stools down. His favorite go to line is to lean over and say, "well then why didn't you say hey when you came in?". It's just gentle enough that most of the time whoever it is just wanders off to the back trying to hide the embarrassment.
Mgoin129 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:09:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure someones said this already but those guys were baked out of their skulls
CappuccinoBoy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:40:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, just the usual trash that inhabit this area :/
schemee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:00:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You found me
bkinney532 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why you always leave a note
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:01 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Get chicken wings.
Not all drum.
Fuck off please.
lacquerqueen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:41:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say this often: you can email/call the manager and he will repeat what i just said. I am trying to save you some time here.
Itโs true, my manager alwayssss backs us up. I do the same with people who threaten with their lawyer: i will gladly explain the same terms of your contract to your lawyer again, feel free to have them call, my name is x.
TheYoshieggman ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gasp you said a naughty word?
MotherOfKrakens95 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:27:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a customer service demon, I know
ArchetypicalDegen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:47:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said something similar. I worked in a call centre selling electricity deals. One time I decided to stay back a little later when asked to, because the queue was crazy. Within a minute of my overtime shift ending, I accidentally readied up and took another call.
The call ended up being frustrating, because the customer simply couldn't be connected because their property wasn't listed on the database. I kept saying that it's unfortunate but there's nothing we can do. She gets super irate and the conversation goes for another half an hour. It's now close to 9pm. She says she wants to speak to a manager, but there's literally no managers from my department left in the building. Eventually I just snap and say "Look, here's my name and employee number, the call is recorded so everything I've said is here. Just call in the morning if you want to make a complaint. I will say, it's pointless though, as I've literally not done anything wrong."
Way out of line. I never did here anything about that call though. I kind of wonder if she ever did complain. I suspect she did, and nothing was done about it. I had a few people say they would complain, and so did colleagues. No-one seemed to get a talking to about it, other than the one guy who said something totally illegal.
TalisFletcher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:33:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'Oh, sorry. Let me rephrase that. "I don't give a poopy."'
AtomikPlaygirl ยท 9179 points ยท Posted at 23:07:40 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came up to me asking about the shoes that were on sale for 29.99. I walked over to the fixture and showed him the sign said the jeans were on sale not the shoes. I then said "Sometimes you have to read the whole sign." My coworker had to turn around and walk off so he wouldn't hear her laughin. I am really surprised I didn't get talked to about that.
aretaker ยท 3995 points ยท Posted at 01:22:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Our debit machine says
Please Donโt
Remove Card.
And the number of people who only read the bottom line and pull their card out too soon always amazes me.
havesomeagency ยท 2279 points ยท Posted at 02:24:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should reverse it. Remove card? Please don't!
Bezere ยท 966 points ยท Posted at 02:58:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Why don't you just put the 'Don't' stickers in front of 'remove card'?"
[deleted] ยท 520 points ยท Posted at 03:25:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Works on contingency? No, money down!
shawarma_llama ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:34:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oops! Shouldn't have this Bar Association logo here, either.
SheepHerder007 ยท -53 points ยท Posted at 04:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Impeach Trump? No way, lock up Hillary!
shawarma_llama ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:25:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
O... K? We're doing a Simpsons bit.
Addyzoth ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:32:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeaaa that's pretty dead, stop trying to ruin og Simpsons
StonyandUnk ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lionel Hutz, nice
smartestkitten ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:51:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Give to charity? Please no. Presents!
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:49:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Simpsons quote?
highvoltorb ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 04:17:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope? Don't!
coheed78 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:38:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't DON'T bother Luke. Got it."
xaanthar ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 03:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can I have the question mark stickers? I want to put them on stop signs.
actuallycallie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:39:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
APRIL NO
DingleMomMcGee13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just turned off Netflix after watching this episode.
HuskerNatChamps2020 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:34:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/PandR
atigges ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can I have all the "?" stickers? I'm going to put them on all the stop signs.
FluffyPhoenix ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:34:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"STOP?"
"Should we?"
"I don't know. The sign does seem to be self-doubting right now."
jalapenopopper91 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:55:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope? Don't!
MorGlaKil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Love parks and rec
medalofme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Leslie can I have all these red question marks?
McSquiggly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
!!!NEVER REMOVE CARD!!!
laserguidedhacksaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just rewatched that episode!
kingattila ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope? Don't!
Jbaconnn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can I have these question mark stickers? I wanna put them on stop signs!!
headchefdaniel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happy bday brother
crowder666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happy birthday!
oddestowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Cake Day!
a_perfect_cromulence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well that would be impolite.
Doip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happy cake day
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt donโt donโt bother Luke
harmair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't don't remove card
yeah_but_no ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:25:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a digital screen. Usually the people in store don't know how to change the message.
betsydelrey ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:07:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All I can think of is parks and recreation Recall Knope DONโT
nuttz93 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:29:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Works on contingency? No, money down!
theycallmeJMO ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Leslie Knope? Don't!
chris8504 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:13:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm going to put the question marks on stop signs.
waterfortendays ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/dontdeadopeninside
shmorky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:29:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
REMOVE PLEASE
CARD DON'T
ightsicle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope? Donโt
HeyThereRobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Recall Knope? Don't!"
pizza_messiah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:11:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope? Dont!
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
INSERT YOUR CARD INTO MY SLIT PLS
Kalibos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why we pay you the big bucks, u/havesomeagency.
FriendlyTreeMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm literally on this episode right now, that is hilarious.
ByaBruclee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Best comment Iโve read all day ๐
kleverone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yoda them fuckers.
JustinLennox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Give to charity? Please no! Presents!
xelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To diffuse bomb cut the yellow wire.
But first remove the red wire.
PoofTheSwagginDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They should really change it to โPlease remove card... Not!โ
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"remove card,you must not"
PandasHouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The problem with that, is no one will read the first line as a question. It will just become a statement.
naoife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please remove card..... noooooooot
awe300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No removo
LouSputhole94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knopf? Don't!
IsMoghul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Leave card in"
metans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reads bottom line.
"Please don't? Please don't what?"
Reads top line.
"Ooh it's telling me to remove my card! Ok!"
Removes card.
"Hey, why's it stopped working?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stop. Don't. Come back.
TheAsianTroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Instructions unclear, Market Basket has my
dickcard nowCobblepotsMom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Give to charity?? Please no!! PRESENTS!
NoxFix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This could actually work. ๐ค
Superhuzza ยท 974 points ยท Posted at 03:13:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? In UI design it's generally bad practice to give instructions as negatives. I'm not surprised it's confusing people.
It should read something like: Leave card in machine. Or: Card is being processed
Edit: Best solution I've seen is - Please Wait
hieronymususername ยท 250 points ยท Posted at 04:13:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mine says "Processing" and people still take it out.
I work in a store that's name ends in Wine & Spirits and took two phone calls today asking if we sold liquor. You can't make things idiot proof.
KallistiEngel ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 06:01:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they just don't know that spirits means liquor. Maybe they think you sell wine and ghosts.
Seriously though, working at a business where you have to answer phones sucks. "Are you open today?" No, I just sit here on my days off so I can answer the phone. "Oh, good! It's Arbor Day, so I thought you might be closed!"
KommandantVideo ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 06:14:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Calling a place to ask if their open is pretty reasonable. Some people donโt want to drive 15 minutes to a store to find out theyโre closed on Arbor Day. Itโs literally yes or no question, how is that so much?
merc08 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed. If they pick up, it's probably fair to assume they're open. But I'm not going to call, have the guy pick up and give their generic greeting, and then just hang up on him. So now I'm stuck awkwardly asking a question that both parties think is stupid.
And it's possible they're closed and just have people there doing restocking.
Mezmorizor ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:02:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just ask when they close today
KallistiEngel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:37:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You could ask a different question. Like "What are your hours?" or "How late are you open today?"
Asking "Are you open?" and hanging up once someone answers are not your only options.
Xholica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a shop with an in store bakery, the baker on duty and a manager would be there an hour and a half before the shop opened. Particularly on bank holidays when we opened later than usual you might be able to reach us by phone but not come in and shop.
NuclearSpark ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:31:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. Asking the hours or if we are open a certain day is all fair game to me. Google has hours as well, but holidays are always "Hours may vary due to _____ Day".
Zelda__64 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:39:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not pointless to call with the intent to find out if the store is open but the question you need to ask, if somebody does answer the phone, is, "What time do you close today?" Asking if they are open is mostly pointless, if they answer the phone they are almost always open.
KallistiEngel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. It wasn't a problem that they needed to call to see if we were open, but ask what our hours are or something like that when someone picks up and it becomes obvious that we're open.
KallistiEngel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just plan to ask a different question once someone picks up. "What are your hours today?"
halberdierbowman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also, employees at some places are working and do answer phones even when the place is closed to customers.
Although I may have once done something similar. My phone line wasn't working , so I went online to report the outage. Someone showed up and asked if I had called them. I told him no. I couldn't have: my phone wouldn't work!
I realized a few seconds later what he was asking.
kasteen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:59:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, what do you expect them to do? Wait for you to pick up the phone and say, "cool you're open" and hang up without giving you the chance to say anything? That's rude.
KallistiEngel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe ask what our hours are today? Seems reasonable to me.
Xholica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:57:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of shops will answer their phones out of opening hours. For example the one I worked in had a manager and a baker in more than an hour before we opened every morning.
Answering the phone usually just means that a staff member is physically present in the shop at that time, not that you can come in.
brickmaster32000 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:26:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Processing really doesn't imply that it still needs the card only that the machine is doing something. Most terminals I have seen say that regardless of whether I am swiping a card, using a chip or tap to pay.
Toysoldier34 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:59:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Processing can also imply that it has all it needs and is just processing it now means it is totally fine to remove.
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:58 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed, and before the chips, the screens would display โprocessingโ after you swiped in your card.
LordSyyn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:06:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How strong is the alcohol if it's idiot proof? Usually measured in a number.
dont_worryaboutit139 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, I made the same joke before I spotted this. Well played
merc08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like retard strength.
dont_worryaboutit139 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:36:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't "idiot proof" when it goes above about 85% ABV?
oinightboat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:32:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I worked in a chicken only butcher shop a few years back, and the amount of people that came in asking if the stuff needed to be cooked was worrying
PremSinha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:39:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a non drinker, I have no idea what is wrong here.
Scientolojesus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:14:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Spirits is an alternate term, granted an older one, for liquor.
Solo_is_my_copliot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You make something idiot proof, they just come up with worse idiots
ErmintrudeFanshaw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BWS?
ziburinis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should answer with something like "no, only griping wraiths." But you'd probably have to say ghost instead of wraith.
teksti-tv666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well do you?
oddestowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably just making sure you aren't selling wine and ghosts.
Eecka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The difference is whether your machine "tricks" 5% of the people or 20% of the people.
mugwortbabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shoutout for that pun yo
trentblase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well do you? Or is it just ghosts and such?
JerseyByNature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they were from New York
UnlikelyPython ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a Taxi office and have received more than one telephone call asking what our phone number is.
HeidiSalami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When a subway train door breaks here in Munich they put at least 3 bright yellow and big stickers on that door that have a picture and text in like three languages stating it doesn't work. I love sitting beside said door and watching people trying to get in/out like flies on a window.
AnomalousAvocado ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think some people don't know that "spirits" means liquor. It's not used a lot in casual conversation.
HillaryWon1 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:18:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah really. Especially since these machines typically tell you when to remove card, like "Please remove card."
So if there is one line saying "Please Don't" and another line saying "Remove Card" I can actually see this confusing people.
futuresquid ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, this is a line break issue.
Donโt Remove Your Card
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:02:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen some horrible card readers that say:
It's awful.
Isthiscreativeenough ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:25:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Especially because they say "please remove card" when done. It's only one word you are missing. Some machines are very fast - while some are super slow. It's not my fault if sometimes I pull out too early. :(
rnykal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
better than pulling out too late ayyy
bakazero ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:53:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have one near me that says something like, "leave card in machine" , then switches to "please don't remove card". Gets me every time.
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had one until recently that said "insert card". Customer inserts card and then for some stupid fucking reason flashed to "thank you" before flashing to "do not remove card" What idiot designed that? People would remove the card and you'd have to cancel the transaction and start over. To top it off neither the pin pad nor my terminal would make a noise to indicate to remove the card.
futuresquid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:33:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I agree with the principle but dislike this particular application.
โLeave card in machineโ - okay, walking away now... haha
โCard is being processedโ - provides no instruction to the user
Superhuzza ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:57:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good points! 'please wait' seems to a common suggestion which I think would be better
futuresquid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I like that one better too!
TexasBullets ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...or just "wait"
Superhuzza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah this is a good suggestion
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
KeetoNet ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:58:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know damned well that it doesn't matter what it says.
Licenseless_Rider ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:06:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It should say
WAIT
and
REMOVE CARD
Superhuzza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:48:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There will always be people who make mistakes. But it's better to have 5% of people making mistakes rather than 20%.
That's basically my whole job lol.
KeetoNet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel ya, man. I'm in the same boat, and it's just easy to get cynical about it. I suppose even a 5% reduction in support is a win - I should focus on that!
SnoozEBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:03:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This got me all the time in the states! In Aus ours say "processing", once finished they change to "remove card". Me being a stupid tourist kept removing my damn card!
asf3trw35 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We do that deliberately you know.
flamewave000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:53:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed, I work in software development and this kind of instruction would immediately set off a red flag for me and my colleagues. It is also possible the software was was outsourced over seas and a non-native English speaker did the copy for the program.
itookoutyourbattery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Comp sci major here, making a shit load of UIs these last 2 quarters. This is something to always keep in mind.
durty_possum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i always think about that obvious problem, still cannot believe that a huge thing like VISA did such a bad design mistake
jeeekel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hah. I just wrote the same thing, then noticed you wrote basically what I wrote. My suggestion was "Please wait".
Superhuzza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:43:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nice, I prefer your solution to mine. It's very clear what to do!
trentblase ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They also have a bad design where it says โprocessingโ then the screen changes to โdo not remove cardโ and that one gets me sometimes since I was just waiting for the status to change. Then it may go back to โprocessingโ again before finally โapproved you can remove card.
ronin1066 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:10:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They need to stop flashing "don't remove card!!!"
It drives me batshit.
toobulkeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WAIT
KittenyStringTheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or just put "Wait."
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One (slightly?) Confusing thing is a card reader that buzzes if the card is successful. The tone connotates error. I think they might have changed it since the though
theinsanepotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:12:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly my thought. Every card reader Ive ever seen says something like "leave card inserter" or some such, and then says "please remove card" whenever its done. This is more the manufacturers fault than the customers.
pm_me_your_smth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agree. But also this is mostly a line break problem. Just don't divide 2 key words with a new line. "Don't remove card" is good enough
Snote85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? How hard is it to just say, "Please wait before removing." or something more clear. If they say "Remove card" even if it's following "Please Do Not" it makes it seem, at first, like it's saying, "Please Remove Card". As the instruction to not do something is counter intuitive to most people.
I have to admit I misread it the first time I saw one say, "Do not remove card". I felt like an idiot and never did it again but there has to be a better way to convey that. Especially considering you knew enough to put the thing in there, just indicate it needs to remain in the machine until promptly asked.
It also usually makes a noise during that portion of the transaction too. Having it yell at you makes you feel like you're doing something wrong and want to alleviate the situation. So, you're frantic and see "Remove card" and think, "Okay I will." ignoring the initial part of the statement.
tastycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So hotel door hanger signs should just say 'leave us alone'?
Brandon4466 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:46 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, ours say Processing... Do not remove
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:58 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was looking for this comment
mkr22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is also what they teach in child development classes. โSit on your bottomโ rather than โDonโt stand up in your seatโ.
robot_ankles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Could you take a minute and help out the self checkout kiosk folks? Whoever put that shit in my grocery store needs to be taken out back and murdered. No, wait, actually they should be forced to use the cobbled together Frankenstein pile of shit show to purchase anything they need for the rest of their lives. I think I've counted at least 8 different sub-assemblies from 6 different manufacturers. All these individual devices have been mounted into this wall-o-crap that resembles a steampunk Rube Goldberg torture device.
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 03:16:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't card
Open inside
BlopBleepBloop ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:51:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you don't put "remove" anywhere in the instructions. A lot of people skim text when they're in a hurry. The prompt should say something like "Please wait".
imaroweboat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:24:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a firm believer in "if a shit ton of customers/users/etc. don't understand your sign/policy/etc. then maybe it's the method of communication that's wrong"
Change the effing sign.
aezart ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Final Fantasy 7.
llDurbinll ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:00:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/dontdeadopeninside
Dyanpanda ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:46:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about yours, but the gas station near me goes from
"Insert Card"
to
"Do Not Remove
Card"
to
"Please Don't
REMOVE CARD"
to
"PLEASE REMOVE
CARD"
And I think its entirely reasonable to screw it up given the terrible design.
LovableKyle24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:33:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remove the card sometimes and I never know why. I know I am not supposed to but I still do it and I always immediately say "yeah I know I dont need to take it out"
Maruset ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't Dead Open Inside
CompC ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you want someone to do something, you should use the word that actually tells them what to do, if possible. (ie โwalkโ vs โdonโt runโ)
It should say โPlease keep card insertedโ or something.
colbymg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If the โremove cardโ notice wasnโt just the โplease donโt remove cardโ with the โplease donโtโ removed, itโd be less stupidly designed. (Also, why does it beep at you to not remove the card?!?!)
How about: โWait for itโ
...
โRemove cardโ
Andhareall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Out debit machine has an insert that goes into the chip reader that says something like, โPLEASE SWIPE YOUR CARD, CHIP READER NOT AVAILABLEโ.
EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE tries to stick their card into the chip reader. I even had someone TAKE IT OUT and INSERT THEIR CARD.
Xarama ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Put tape over the slot.
Assrocket33r ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as a vague "please don't" amd I laughed so fucking hard hahahahaha.
EvilAsshole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please remove don't card?
cjdudley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please remove don't card.
OZL01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just go walking dead status
Please Remove
Don't Card
abooth43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, this gets me every once and a while when I put my card in and it takes a few seconds to register/for the cashier to hit a button.
Im not watching it anymore, and all the sudden a message pops on the screen. I grab it out of reflex because I figured I had already waited.
Always notice it right as im doing it though :/ usually too late and have to resart.
yourblackdaddy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs honestly a dumb thing for it to say. It should just say โplease waitโ.
That would eliminate this problem.
i_give_two_fucks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
then it's a problem. it's not stupid people if lots of people are doing it, it's shitty design of the sign
jeeekel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is bad UI. It shouldn't read a negative instruction. It should read a positive instruction.
Please don't do this thing = negative directive.
Please wait = positive directive, and less characters than 'don't'.
my_spelling_is_pour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All it has to say is "don't remove card" in one continuous segment and no one would make that mistake. Poor design choice.
grokforpay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:30:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No - people would still glance down, see "remove card" and take it out. I would. It should read "leave card inserted" or "processing" or something else.
notgayinathreeway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"it said to remove the card" "it had the words remove and card in there, I'll give you that, but this time leave it in there until the do not goes away."
Takk_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This probably happens to me 10+ times a day, it's not even worth the oxygen required to tell them that that's what it actually says. Just die slightly more inside and start it again.
grokforpay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, we usually see our fuckup too, but too late. I've done this a dozen times - because the beeping if you leave it in is annoying, so as soon as I see the words "remove card", I yank.
uga11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie I've done this, I don't use the chip that often so when I do I either fuck up and pull it too early or come within seconds of fucking up.
CM_V11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:19 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a sticker where the chip reader goes saying โplease swipe cardโ to prevent customers from sticking their card in the chip reader. Unbelievable the amount of ppl that try to remove the sticker to stick their card in.
logic0322 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I knew how to pull out.
KittyKat122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair though a lot of places make you remove the card, so it's kind of a habit.
bladerunnerjulez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this a few times
superpencil121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, thatโs half bad design and half people being dumb.
joannie_pepperoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, the other day I was really high at the grocery store and like it's said a million times it said "Please Don't Remove Card" all on one line. But this time, all I saw was "Remove Card" and yanked it out... man I still feel like an idiot.
kahmeelo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How about just having the words "Don't do it".
zzachyz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ours are kind of the opposite, it says:
processing
please remember card
And they just sit there starting at it looking at the first word
Xarama ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I remember the card..."
blackonix13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I had a nickel for every customer that misread the debit machine and got angry at me when I tell them what it actually said... Well... I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't be a cashier anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a machine that scans checks and electronically converts them and you have to sign on the debit reader to authorize the electronic collection of the check and agree to a posted fee if the store can't collect it. I've had a few people who only saw the words "posted fee" and refused to sign no matter what. Although I kind of wish there was a fee for just using them because way too many people still use checks and with the electronic check system it's just as easy if not easier for someone to steal from you using them.
Zulek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One store does that here and I hate it. I always reach for the card then curse myself as I realize.
timallen445 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tall enough where the privacy guard on most machines hide the top half of the screen
LehighAce06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recall Knope?
Don't
Konstiin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good old Verifone...
The_Insomnic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Commonly mistaken semantic prosody with the word remove. Seeing a word contrary to the action taking place will induce a correlative response to perform the incited action. "Leave card in" on the other hand offers positive affirmation to the requested action.
dreftig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was watching some Darren Brown video's. And he explained that in hypnosis giving a command is very effectieve. So effectieve that words like "don't" are ignored by the brain. So maybe it's the same with reading.
nazuuka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In France we use Patientez, and then Retirer Carte when you can finally removes the card. I thought it's a standard everywhere like that o_o
tally_me_banana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually once approved they then just change the first line to "Approved" or "Accepted" without changing the second line. It's no wonder they are confusing. It's a terrible UI design.
renegadecanuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that while running on auto pilot. Always feel like a twit after.
TheBeardedSatanist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this. I felt like the biggest fucking idiot, the cashier was confused as to what happened and it took like a minute for her to get it srt back up.
The worst part is the gaze that you can physically feel burning through the back of your head from the people behind you.
G0pherB0y ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did that the other day. No idea why... It was stupid of me. Never did it before but now I'm paranoid as hell I'll do it again. I wish it read "Wait for it..."
iwishiwasamoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does it have both lines at once or one at a time? I was once sitting at a red light and noticed a business with a scrolling marquee next to me. It said "Get a life." I thought that was a bit rude and wondered what the hell kind of business would casually insult people like this. After a couple seconds it scrolled to "insurance policy today." Then things made more sense. But if your debit machine is scrolling, I could see the confusion.
Melonhead0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that a few times before and i've been close to doing it again, I get so embarrassed man.
RealParrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Verifone system by chance?
robhol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't pull out!"
The giggles alone would be worth it.
hyper_sloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this after pulling 12 hour shifts. Sometimes you're so tired you read the whole sentence but your brian reacts to only half.
naturemom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same with our debit machines. Also with ours if you put your card in before I hit the button it will beep and say "please remove card."
The number of people who say "it says 'remove card?'" to me is astounding. I've never said it but I always think to myself "if it says remove card then maybe you should do it."
LR5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've made that mistake. You're in a rush or are a bit harried, reading from the bottom and you see it say remove card.
Easy to do, poor word choice on the machines.
jakovichontwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this all the time whenever I go somewhere with a machine that reads this way.
s_perd_de ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On one of our pinpads the pen doesn't work (for signing, selecting, etc.) and so we have a sticky note saying to just use your finger to sign. Soooo many people try to go for the pen, which is covered by the sticky note.
Just_another_gamer_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't | Dead
Open | Inside
Bief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those chip cards fucking suck to be fair. It's like I've played basketball on a 10 foot hoop for 20 years then all a sudden it's 8 feet, I just can't get used to it.
sveri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You probably are aware that the human brain has trouble understanding negation? I think this is funny, but if I was responsible for the sign I would reverse it to something like " please leave the card inside" or whatever is appropriate.
GrahamPeters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly If they just said please wait it would solve all the problems
livemau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:20:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, I have the opposite problem at my job. Customers will stare directly at the "REMOVE CARD" message while it beeps in their faces, and yet I still have to remind them that it's okay to take their card now.
Madypoppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like thereโs another, not quite appropriate joke here. ๐ I like it.
TheWolfmanZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:12:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Idk why. But it makes me angry when people try to pay before I've even finished scanning. Your time is not that much more valuable. If anything I'm just gonna make you wait longer.
TheZygoteTalentShow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fucking shit the card readers where I work have chip readers that don't function for whatever reason so we just swipe them. There is a HUGE plastic insert sticking out of the chip reader that says PLEASE SWIPE CARD (Like This but about 3x larger) The amount of people I have seen try to force their card into the chip reader despite that being there is unreal.
theinsanepotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, every machine Ive ever seen says "Keep card inserted" or "Leave card inserted" for, presumably, this exact reason. So, yeah, people really should read the whole thing, but at the same time, thats also an incredibly stupid design choice by whatever company made your card readers. If you choose to deviate from the standard design, its more your fault than the customer's when the customer gets tripped up by your design choices.
Its like if some company made a Stop sign which, instead of being octagonal and red with white letters like every other stop sign, was triangular and red with black letters, like a yield sign. I mean... technically people are still wrong if they roll through it without stopping. Technically... they are wrong. But realistically, its the company thats really wrong for making the sign with such a horrible design that its obviously gonna get mistaken for something else 99.99% of the time.
Machismo0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:06:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feed me a stray cat
JenniferMcKay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to happen to me some day because the machines I see the most just move right to the "Remove Card" part of the process instead of blinking "Please Don't" a few times first.
Faeleena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I almost do this ALL THR FREAKIN TIME. I used to work with pin pads which makes it all the more hilarious. Why use that terminology!? Why not "keep card inserted"!? Fucking dumb pin pad people.
/Rant
faoltiama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:58:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was at the doctor's office once and read a sign that I thought said "Let your child play on the rolling stool" and I thought that was very odd, because I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do that. Then I realized I had completely and utterly missed the words "DO NOT" directly above it that were like twice the size of all the other text.
I think I got in the habit of just skipping titles in textbooks growing up because all the actual info is in the paragraph below. So now I just skip all the biggest words that are designed to grab your attention the most.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please remove Dont card
almostdeadpoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People have to sign on ours anytime they use credit, and the number of people who press clear instead of done...
Konfituren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't Remove
Card Please
caninehere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So what, you just steal their cards?
Jkirek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's because most of these machines will only ever give a message when you can remove your card. It's muscle memory
fadecomic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would be one of them. Those devices get like 1% of your attention, and if "remove card" is on the lowest line by itself, that would definitely stand out to me.
algy888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve done that more times than I want to admit. What is wrong with โplease waitโ or โDonโt touch stupid!โ
Do not suggest to me that the card even exists at that point let alone that said card could actually be removed.
Videoboysayscube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I'm guilty of this. Didn't actually pull the card, but my hand twitches the moment I see "remove card". Wording could be improved by just saying "please wait", followed by "you may now remove your card".
knightni73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please Remove
Don't Card?
NewaccountWoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that.
Honestly it's bad design. It should say "please don't touch the card while we process" or something.
Otherwise you're going to get people who aren't paying attention see remove card and they are going to remove it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm guilty of this sometimes when Iโm being airheaded. I prefer โplease waitโ or โleave insertedโ.
Gingrpenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The worse thing is these machines will go from Please don't remove card to remove card. If your not paying attention it's a fing nightmare
AuroraLux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am guilty of removing it too soon a couple times. It's just that I hate when it starts beeping at me, so I try to get it out asap. But a couple of times I was too quick on the draw (withdrawal?).
Bary_McCockener ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I first got my chipped cards, I did this a few times. I think it was mostly muscle memory from swiping magnetic bar cards
HeyZuesHChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Make 7
Up Yours
molly__hatchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:41:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my gosh the amount of people who see "Do Not Remove Card" and yank their card out...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:20:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The way the interface on the chip-reader machines is set up is really poor.
If I'm looking at a message that says, "DO NOT REMOVE CARD" and then it updates and says "VALIDATING. DO NOT REMOVE CARD", the natural human response is that I should do something, because the message changed. If they just HAVE to put "validating" on there, they should put it after the instruction to not remove the card.
Source: I sometimes bring in a human factors researcher to help me tune up my UI/UX and this is the kind of thing that he's beat me up on more than once.
cmckone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this... feel dumb every time
Twoixm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm guessing the customers read it as: โPlease donโtโ just stand there. โRemove cardโ, before I eat it.
InjuredSmurf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah don't you just hate it when people pull out too soon?
bonezillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How are there so many people commenting on this saying "Please don't remove card" is confusing?
It's like saying you read the "Please Don't" and went, "Hm, that's odd, why would they just put "Please Don't"?" And then ignore that and see, "Remove Card" and think, "Oh, it says to remove it!"
xDskyline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:11:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because they're on different lines, often spaced out. If you're in a hurry to get your groceries/wallet etc, it's easy just to see the bottom line reading "Remove Card" and think it's time to take it out.
bonezillion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess I personally don't ever make myself feel rushed at the register or in a store. It'll take me less time to read the instructions and get it right the first time than rush through and mess it up and have to redo the process.
It just reminds me of my SO saying that the men's restroom was under construction at his store and they had multiple signs posted saying "Men's Restroom Closed" and he had at least a dozen female customers come to him a day to complain about the restrooms being closed because they didn't read the whole sign that just said "Men's."
xDskyline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think the major issue isn't just about being rushed, it's that the display is poorly designed - the second line is a complete message that makes sense if read alone.
In your example, if the sign had looked like:
Men's
RESTROOM CLOSED
It would have been pretty understandable that those customers were confused.
rhia2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:45:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a sign in our store saying "All sale 50% off" And everybody always asks if the entire store is on sale. After 6 months of having this sign up I want to hit the next person who asks.
NickMarcil ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's because other place put EVERYTHING 50% OFF!!!!! doesntnotapplyonalreadypromitionedarticleandnotonfoodnotonthatnotonenewitemnotnotnotntontotnotntontotnton
Then you see 50% off everything and you are like yeaaaaaaaaaah right let's see....
icracknuts ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:58:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh this happens sooo often at my work so I just started assuming every client is dumb and tell them โplease do not remove the chip until it beepsโ and sadly clients STILL remove it.
โI swear it said remove card!โ No Karen, did you not just fucking listen to me?!
tylerden ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:38:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I advertise guitAr lessona with the price and subscript clearly, show. Half dont know the price and smost need to here the description again.
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:10:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It should say "Don't fucking remove your card unless you want to waste everyone's time."
Honestly, why does an ATM need to be nice?
ihopeyoulikeapples ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:53:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been known to get snarky over things like that, I have so many customers who bring coupons and vouchers and ask me what they are and sometimes I can't resist throwing in an "have you tried reading it?"
MeLikeChoco ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The irl version of "Google it"
frogjg2003 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, "Google it" is the response when someone says something stupid, gets called out, and can't actually back it up.
MeLikeChoco ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:45:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, I see more people say "Google it" to others that ask questions that have been asked before on the respective subreddit (ex. buildapc).
ButPooComesFromThere ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:43:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Let's take a look, shall we?"
slowly points to each word as you read it aloud to them
Ymir24 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:40:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When they say one of the words out loud, stop and say "Very good!" all enthusiastically.
wedditfwendsss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for my first proper giggle of the day
Simba7 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, we had a lady get SUPER PISSED once because she couldn't read a sign. Worked in the prepared foods department of a grocery store, we had rotisserie chickens. Once a year we had a half off sale that only lasted 3 days. Obviously we advertise it in advance, it's a way bigger deal than it should be.
Anyways, lady tries to buy a chicken, gets mad it's not half price, starts literally yelling that the advertisement is misleading. I tell her I can see how you might misread that, but unfortunately I can't control the advertisements. She asks to talk to the manager, I say "Sure, he's actually right over there, I'll take you to him."
She walks up and starts bitching at him without so much as a "Hi", and without even giving him the time to turn around. She grabs his shoulder and roughly turns him to face her so she can continue her rant. I was amazed at his self-restraint, and at her absolute fucking gall.
tl;dr - Lady can't read whole sign, gets physically aggressive.
Tetriside ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:04:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You would think someone tried to sell her half a chicken for full price marked "half off" with that response.
anxiouspigeon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:06:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my mom who works at a supermarket at the info/returns/complaints desk. A man came to her saying how they overcharged him for an item. So they take his receipt and go looking at the price tag that he swore said 7.99 instead of 9.99 or whatever. The price tag says 7.99 indeed, but unfortunately, it is the price tag of another item. The man keeps insisting that it's false advertising etc etc until my mom tells him that he looks old enough to know how to read. Apparently the guy walked off in a huff.
jakeykeywheels ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:54:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in the shoe department in Marshalls. There's about 13 entire rows of shoes on display. Lady walks in, and right up to me in the second row of the women's shoes section and says "you don't have men's shoes?!?" In an annoyed tone... I just looked at her, then said "can you seriously not see the 10 entire rows of shoes right behind me? Half the store is shoes and you've only walked 5 damn feet into the store"
notgayinathreeway ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:08:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sell tractors. Big, red, shiny tractors. They were right next to my register at Sears. Guy walks up to me at the register "do you guys not have tractors anymore?" "Oh yeah, sure we do. Let me show you" and I took two steps. He didnt even have to move. "Oh... T-thanks."
CarlosFer2201 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:35:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's savage. Did you get trouble for that?
cantbeconnected ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:13:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read this as a genuine tip and not an insult. But I can see how someone might get offended. Depends on the delivery.
NightVisionGoggles ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it were me I probably would've been a bit salty after that and would've said something to the effect of "I misread it. Sorry for wasting your time, but you don't need to be a dick about it."
BUT I read signs so that probably wouldn't happen to me.
jbeechy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like me just about every day at old navy
Jacobcvm2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one wins
envirex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At one of my previous retail jobs we had a shoe display that people would take the shoes off of and put back in the wrong spot to the point where if I didn't have to put them back properly at least 9 times a shift it would be a great day. Sooo many customers would think the wrong shoes were on sale and then would get waaay to mad about it and demand they get the shoes they wanted for the discount price because they were in the wrong spot. No that's not how that works, it's not my fault you thought the addidas were on sale when the sign says New Balance in big bold letters.
SlapahoWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy who ordered something that had shrimp in it, only to find out when I brought the food to the table that heโs allergic to shrimp. My immediate response was โThis is why you read the menu.โ
adriarchetypa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done similar with really nitpicky and irritating customers who think they've found a big GOTCHA to get some absurd discount.
kooshipuff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:37:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use a similar one as a programmer. When people ask for help troubleshooting something:
Rule #1: read the error message
Rule #2: read the error message in its entirety
Rule #2.1: yes, that includes the stack trace.
This resolves remarkably many issues.
apprehensiveabtthis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Getting talked to for talking to someone sensibly. Welcome to retail.
4klettrigesbleeblatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
where is the problem with that, or why would your co-worker laugh about that
MrScavenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was that in reference to legend of Neil? Because that part is so fucking funny.
Destructer23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You weren't wrong though.
contagiouscass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a licensing office and we have to send emails to our new hires so we can get them licensed in every single one of the email drafts I send out I have to include "*** Please read this entire email ***" People still don't. SO FRUSTRATING
oddballwriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer who worked retail, I would have just laughed and agreed. It happens to everyone.
oldirtdogg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds of playing games with a friend who asks me the controls when they are on the screen.
uga11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bartender when a guy asked what they had similar to bud light he responded with we have water. Guys tells him to get a manager he tells the manager the story he has to take a few seconds to laugh it off before he talks to the guy.
AshleySexyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell shit online a lot and decided that I'd take pictures of the objects beside measuring tape to know the sizing, because Ive been lied to in the past. The amount of ppl who ask how large it is actually gives me brain hemorrhages.
QueenAlpaca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I worked retail at my first job, "You have to read the whole sign" was almost a mantra. I wasn't trying to be a cunt about it, but what do you do if people insist you're a fucking moron when they won't read a sign? I was there for almost eight years and never got written up once, so I assume I was doing something right.
aivlysplath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have locked restrooms at the store I work at. There is a sign that states "Ask employee for a key at the BACK counter." Everyone asks for it at the register and I always have to say "It's at the back counter." I really want to tell them to read the damn sign.
ForeverPizzaPrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a day late replying but I literally did the same thing today.
I'm a cashier but also do recovery, sky shelves, etc. My feet are fucking killing me today and we were busy so I couldn't get around to a certain task I was supposed to do, I'm just irritated. Our store is doing one of those 'redoing of shelves', so we were getting rid of a lot of crap. We have a little area in the front we keep discount shit on, stuff like, "brown dot item is 50% off!" Since we're remodeling, we had no where to put, literally not fucking kidding, three shopping carts full (small stuff like shampoo, car air vent sticks that smell nice, lightbulbs, etc) of stuff anywhere. It's unprofessional to leave it all in a shopping cart so we ended up mixing the discount table area together. We have multiple signs all over the table that tell the customers anything marked down is the price it is, anything with the brown dot is getting the discount.
Anyway, after probably 15 people telling me that our table isn't right and we need to learn to tell people these things, a woman starts complaining about it, again. In my tired and pained state, I say, in my most annoyed voice,
"There's a sign right there!"
She wasn't happy at my attitude..
degradedchimp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that honestly doesn't seem bad at all.
that's like saying "you have to be smarter than the ___"
1largepotato ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure that customer was me, last year in Minneapolis?
AtomikPlaygirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope! In a southern state here, but our headquarters are there.
luvs2meow ยท 2846 points ยท Posted at 00:06:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a waitress in college and super slammed one night. I checked on a table after what had been a while and said, โIโm so sorry about that! Can I get you some refills?โ Well this guy just begins this rant, โYeah weโve been here forever. We havenโt gotten any refills. And this was the worst pulled pork sandwich Iโve ever had in my life...โ and he went ON AND ON about this fucking pulled pork sandwich being so awful but he ate the ENTIRE thing! Like I said, I was slammed and I probably listened to him bitch for a whole two minutes (which seems like 10 to hungry customers). When he finally shut up I said, โI donโt cook the food dude.โ
He was pissed and ended up getting his food comped. He came in two weeks later and I ran the food to his table (not his waitress that time) and he immediately started bitching that his Mac n cheese was cold.
appleelisha ยท 1177 points ยท Posted at 01:34:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have learned to cut customers off and go get a manager. I have too much shit to do during a rush to hear them complain!
press_send_bailiff ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:27:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At a past job that i was at for several years, I had regulars who would ask me when I was going to be a manager. I would always reply, but when someone is mean to me I go "hold on, let me get my manager" and then my regulars would laugh and agree that I had the better end of that stick
Voidtalon ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:56:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly my old boss asked us to deflect problem customers to him if they we're interfering with our job. The line we we're given was:
"I am really sorry but I need to attend other customers as well. Please let me get my manager so he may help you better."
Honestly I feel it was a fairly polite way to say "bugger off".
Mati676 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:11:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Manager must be glad and thankful he can deal with angry customers by himself.
QwertyBoi321 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:50:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah a good manager would be glad to help calm down a customer while the waitress does her job. You so smaht.
azreal72 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:37:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was serving, our managers told us to do this. It's amazing how many people do it just to get their food comped.
Stats_with_a_Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:26:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when they do it just for free food.
Supraman83 ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 03:48:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh he just wants free food. Not a damn thing wrong with it. See that shit working for Dominos sorta regularly
RSGoodfellow ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 05:46:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was the woman who called and claimed the sausage on her pizza was raw. I just said, "That's funny, it was already cooked when it came off the truck." My manager just thought it was hilarious.
shesdrawnpoorly ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:15:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
my local dominoes has legitimately forgotten to put my pizza in the oven before, and i really wish that was hyperbole.
when i got my pizza, what it looked like was what would happen if you put a pizza in the oven for just long enough for the bottom to harden a little & then leave the rest of the pizza completely uncooked & slightly lukewarm.
so i called in & showed the delivery person what it looked like when he came back, and they just kinda stared at it while mouthing, "what the fuck...." repeatedly and then promptly apologizing & left.
RSGoodfellow ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 06:17:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can verify without knowing which dominos, that every single person in that store was high as fuck. It may as well be a job requirement.
shesdrawnpoorly ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:21:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i thought the only requirement to work at dominos was an undying hatred for themselves. huh. learn something new every day.
RSGoodfellow ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:23:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah thatโs the only other requirement.
shesdrawnpoorly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ohhhhhhhhh
reliant_Kryptonite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:55:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Found the best dealer of my life working at a Papa Johns. Dude came in every day tripping on lsd, but damn did he make a hell of a pizza
RSGoodfellow ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:48:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs easy to make a pizza amazing when you can see the flavor.
reliant_Kryptonite ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:49:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐
Holy fuck that really really got me!
spacezoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:16:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But how? His tolerance would be insane, like would need to eat sheets to trip?
reliant_Kryptonite ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:38:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think he was micro dosing? IDK he made it himself from morning glories. He was a genuinely smart person with degrees and certs, he just was high on his own supply. Sad really. :/
spacezoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:55:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so LSA extractions? I mean microdosing doesn't have any actual hallucinations, just a mood and energy boost, so it's not that crazy to use it like that daily. I'm just surprised he could deal with the daily body load, LSA feels so shitty.
courtabee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you put it in the oven and finish cooking it?
shesdrawnpoorly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
damn right. two medium pizzas +drinks +whatever dessert i got with it for like <$20.
Yeah_its_you ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:21:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw this so much as a server. Eat most of a dish โoh this isnโt what I orderedโ or magically thereโs hair in it thatโs the same length and color of the customers or I ate it but it was cold or I ate it but there was an ingredient I didnโt like, or after a perfectly executed and pleasant entire meal โoh my sever was rudeโ. The one absolute I learned in the food industry is that however low you think someone will go, there are people who will sink farther. Just to get $9.99 comped. There is no โtoo lowโ for some people.
E: changed a word.
Supraman83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man at a restaurant I've had one bad meal. A steak and the cook forgot to season it at all so it tasted like plain ole beef. I didn't say a word, didn't skimp on the tip, just meh shit happens
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:44:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Supraman83 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:58:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but you have to live with yourself. I was just raised differently, ethics and all.
misterxy89 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:08:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it helps, I was a manager. I would've let it happen once or twice. Then after I forwarded to my general manager and my boss (owner) and they got banned.
Supraman83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If we see a pattern at the dominos I work at we will tell you we will not comp your food again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Supraman83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My bad wasn't accusing you at all
zdakat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your forgot my diet Dr kelp!?
Zearo298 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But... you didnโt order any-
tzenrick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:15:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy call the store before I got back complaining that he didn't get his 2-liter. I knew I had done my job right, so I walked back out to my car, pulled the video from the dash cam, and made my boss watch it.
My boss was like "Do you want to tell him no, or should I?" "I'll do it, but you should be right there for when it goes south." I called, told the guy I had videobof me handing it to him, and that I would under no circumstances be bringing another. Guy starts yelling, boss reaches over and hangs up on him. 20 minutes later I answered the phone with my proper introduction, and the Regional Director is screaming at me by name, about how I didn't deliver a drink and I hung up on a customer. "BossName, it's for you!" Then I heard, "Yes sir. I actually hung up on him for verbally abusing my driver.... Yes sir, I actually saw the video of tzenrick handing him his drink...Yeah, he's kind of prepared like that..... Yes sir, I can definitely do that." That was the day that that customer was added to the blacklist. Fuck that guy.
Supraman83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:35 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah fucking sucks. I had one delivering pizza, the extras were so long that his 2 liter didn't show up on the delivery sticker so when I handed him his stuff he said there was supposed to be a 2 liter with it. I said I don't show one on my paperwork and showed him the sticker and recommended he call the store to double check and if he did order I would run it back out to him. He said okay tipped me 5 bucks (which surprised me) and I went back to the store and sure enough he had a 2 liter due to him, I took it back to him with zero fuss and wasn't remotely upset about it since he was nice about the whole situation and still gave me a good tip.
treski33 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:06:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a guy do this to this really nice waitress my girlfriend and I had in Myrtle Beach. He even pulled the โI own a restaurant so I know what I would do in this situation but I wonโt tell youโ. This man did this in front of his entire family including his kids who looked absolutely mortified. After I we got the check and I paid I wrote a small note next to the tip that basically said, โyou did a great job, that guy is just a dickโ. It felt pretty good, I wonder if she ever saw it.
MonkeyDavid ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:05:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I really want a pulled pork sandwich now.
I am kind of mad at you for that.
krissy2287 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Screw that guy. Heโs like that nasty bitch of a customer in the movie โwaitingโ
pingasthrowaway ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:17:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those special customers get The very best!
CherryLucy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:12:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take your upvote and never return
Buixer ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:35:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker who would brag that he would be glad when we found a flaw in his food when dining in a restaurant. He'd eat around the entire flaw and leave it as evidence so he could get a comp or voucher for his next meal. My parents owned a restaurant so I felt disgusted by his dine out stories.
But at least he didn't bitch and lie about his food like this asshole.
PlasmaWarrior ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:33:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a waitress in college we had regulars who would eat and then dash out before paying. They had 4 kids and were absolute trash. I caught the mother saying "see kids, this is why you need to go to school so you dont end up waitressing for a living". Seriously screw them.
Mustakrakish_Awaken ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:17:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"At least this waitress can afford to pay for a meal"
Art_Vandelay_7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:41:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would they be allowed back into the restaurant???
PlasmaWarrior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:54:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My manager said we couldnt refuse service because we were a christian chain and that would be bad customer service. But thats theft which is against the bible...
2074red2074 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:55:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I ate the entire worst pizza I've ever had in my life. Food is food.
OmniscientOCE ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:49:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of cafe sells Mac n cheese that sounds dog
banyanroot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was slammed one day and slipped up an order of a really obese mom and son: The teenager ordered the cheeseburger that came with mushrooms but didn't want the mushrooms. I forgot to note it in my order on the Micros system. The kid ate the whole thing, then his mom loudly complained that the because order was wrong the whole meal should be comped. Manager did it to appease them, and of course they left no tip. Some people are just looking for opportunities to be cheap.
zywrek ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait... Who goes out for mac n cheese? Sure, the dish doesn't exist where I live, but from what I've heard it's pretty much the optimal low-effort food? Like for bachelors or single parents with multiple kids..
Mustakrakish_Awaken ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:19:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually if it's at a restaurant or diner it's done up with some sort of other ingredients added. Usually some variation of chicken(bbq, buffalo) or sometimes lobster or steak. It's not the same as the out-of-the-box stuff you're thinking of unless it's a real cheap place
artistickitty ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:51:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
or a vegetarian got dragged there by their meat eating family/friends, and that was the only meatless thing on the menu
zywrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh ok, where I live, anything that's macaroni is essentially considered low-effort food since it's often easy and quick to make.
SkaJamas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone said their mac was cold n when they brought it back we temp'd it. That shit was hot as fuck
qmracer01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:46:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely hate people like this! I went to a eat out with a friend one time and I remember this group of 3 or 4 people. The first thing they said to the waitress was "It is cold in here can you turn down the AC." Which yeah you are cold and are the only one that matters in the whole place so lets do that just for you. When the food came I think 2 people complained but the one I remember the most was, the one guy complained about his food without even trying it. So the waitress said she would remake it or get him something different I don't exactly remember, but I do remember him trying it after she left and saying "this is actually pretty good" face palm I don't get why some people just love to complain about everything
Goldencol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What sort of thundering bellend goes back to eat at a place that served him the worst pulled pork sandwich he'd ever had.
GroverEyeveen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why does he keep going back?!?
isospora ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:04:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had this happen to me where the guest was just โbitch bitch bitch,โ and I looked at her and said โthere is literally nothing I can do.โ Like do you think I run this joint, eat your food, drink your drink and donโt come back.
Vindexxx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot stand people like this with any type of service industry. These people (i.e. customers) are just worthless pieces of shit.
I will never understand how people become like this or think it is okay to do.
GingerFurball ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:24:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because the world is full of spineless managers who'll enable the behaviour by caving into the customer's demands.
Mgoin129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you said you were slammed I thought you meant you were working while drunk and i thought this was about to be 10x better than the other stories here
fadecomic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, I've complained about the food (hopefully not obnoxiously) before, but eaten it anyway. Usually I'm in a hurry. Or it's not great, but it's not bad enough to send back, but I'm still going to let you know it's not great. Feedback and all that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does slammed mean really busy? I'm from the UK where every word ending in -ed means drunk, so I just assumed you were drunk for the entirety of your story.
luvs2meow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I was :)
But yes it just another way of saying super busy here in the states (though if used in a different context could mean drunk I think).
[deleted] ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 06:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a professional chef. That man 100% should have gotten his food comped and if I was your boss I would have fired you in front of that customer. If you donโt have respect for people and the service, go fold clothes at fucking Macyโs.
sofakingchillbruh ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:55:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hard to respect a service that literally doesn't even respect it's own workers. At least Macy's will pay you a decent wage.
cinnamonbrook ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:43:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of hard to retain any respect for a grown man throwing a tantrum for some freebies. The dude didn't deserve respect. It wasn't like he was a paying customer in the end anyway.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda hard to run a restaurant/business when youโre employees are fucking idiots
cinnamonbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't call people "fucking idiots" when you can't even use the correct *your.
I'm gonna go ahead and assume since you're so passionate about this dickweed getting "muh gud surrvace" that you identify with that type of person. Stop throwing tantrums in restaurants my dude, you're gonna end up eating more than your fair share of spit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:48 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dude i find it flattering you spent some much mental energy on analyzing my dining habits. Unfortunately youโre finding are wrong.
P.S. in all my years behind a line I never once seen someone spit in food. People donโt actually do that. Now thatโd be a tantrum lol
spacezoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:17:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is bait.
luvs2meow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:45 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First of all, did you not even read OPโs question?
Second of all, I wouldnโt of cared if they did fire me because I hated that job.
Third of all, Iโd never want to work for you because you seem like a dick.
cinnamonbrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, you won't have to work for them ever. "Professional chef" on reddit means they were a fry cook at maccas in high school.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:50 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably way funnier with the accent. Shall good.
justsayinyall11 ยท 1665 points ยท Posted at 23:53:58 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
them: "it was great meeting you"
me, before immediately walking away: "thanks."
qwertyytrewq2017 ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:31:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh.
bigmangina ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the only one that made me actually laugh so far, probably because i have done this a few times myself.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
luckyveggie ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:45:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Damn straight, I'm delightful."
LeCacty ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:50:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm aware"
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:28:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I never tire of hearing that..."
DynamicAilurus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:18:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, that isnโt an acceptable answer?
Fuck.
Super_Vegeta ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:04:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be glad to met me, if I were you.
__Severus__Snape__ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:15:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was getting a tea at McDonald's the other day and I was determined not to forget the milk I had forgotten a few days prior.
"I love the Dr. Boom tshirt" the poor guy behind the counter said.
"coolthanks, haveyougotsomemilk?"
I felt so bad afterwards that I'd not been more appreciative of his compliment
colelawr ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:37:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "You're welcome!"
Sabya2kMukherjee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is what I've done a lot of times
Rikolas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Savage
veilofmaya1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:34:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like all my Tinder dates. :')
KB801 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That seems like a perfectly acceptable answer to me, actually.
theacefospades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I responded to that phrase once with "Not really"
It took me 10 minutes to realize how excessive that was lol.
AlwaysTurning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I know."
-Vampyroteuthis- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:55:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I respond with "Yes!" Meaning that it was nice meeting them too and I've realised people might not understand my intention
LongOverdueRealOne ยท 3101 points ยท Posted at 02:02:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee shop. Woman orders a latte and I ask if she wants full fat or skimmed milk. She asks 'You don't have a semi do you?'
I reply, 'no, it's just the way I'm standing'.
She did not look amused.
Thatdudewiththestuff ยท 698 points ยท Posted at 03:53:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, seriously, that's fucking hilarious.
cautiondrypaint ยท 109 points ยท Posted at 04:05:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read 'amused' as 'aroused'
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:47:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I read amused as Arnold
RainbowWolfie ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 05:14:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dylsexya is one hlle of a doug
JeffMangumStains ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:32:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're all good dogs, bread.
sanborn16 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:36:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do not feed the ducks bread
DerpHard ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 10:22:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do not fuck the dead?
WhyIsTheMoonThere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:06:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That too, bread
emosy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:23:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't have a beard...
Lelentos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:16:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's exactly what Doug used to say! See you later, New Doug!
tits_out_4_DELCO ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:48:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! This is the first one that made me chuckle.
ConradBHart42 ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 05:52:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who calls 2% semi?
BezierPatch ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 06:48:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The UK
Ella_Spella ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:50:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm quite impressed. How do you know what percentage this guy is talking about?
PaleWaffle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:53:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are there other kinds of milk that it could be? Not tryna be a sarcastic ass, I've never heard of other fat ratios than those 3
KonigSteve ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 15:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? every store in the US has 2% and 1%.
PaleWaffle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:17:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh I guess I never pay attention to the different kinds. Is it skim, 1%, 2%, and whole? Or are there even more kind of milk I'm missing out on
Amazi0n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:41:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whole milk is simply 3%, but that would apparently be too many numbers for customers to keep track of.
There is buttermilk, but that's a different thing really.
metaaxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:44:12 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
half and half
cream
whipping cream
PaleWaffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:48 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm talking about milk, not dairy products. Nobody putting cream into their cereal in the morning. Also, I was already educated, thanks.
metaaxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:04 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself! Most school mornings for my kids I make oatmeal with apples sauteed in butter-sugar-cinnamon topping and add a bit of cream - a couple tablespoons - to all that.
PaleWaffle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:49 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fair enough
stacasaurusrex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:29:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, is semi also a kind of milk? I almost like it better if she was just asking him if he had one haha. But it makes sense it was a type of milk...
ConradBHart42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:35:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
as someone else responding to me said, the UK refers to it as semi in one way or another. It's not a thing in the US, although we have 2% which is the most common variant between "whole milk" which is approx 3.5% and "skim milk" which is effectively 0%. There are others but the coffee shop I worked at only offered whole, 2%, and skim.
stacasaurusrex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:41:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh thank you for making that more clear! I had no idea milk had so many variants ha!
metaaxis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
and i would have thought of half and half, on it's way from whole to cream
Cheapfender ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:14:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking lol
terribleatgambling ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:43:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
was reading this at work and now everyone knows im not doing my job because i just burst out laughing.
Piee314 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is quite likely over the line, my friend.
TipOfTheTop ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 12:14:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He said he didn't have a semi, so it probably wouldn't stick out far enough to cross the line.
katandkuma ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:17:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It took me about 20 seconds to get this. At first I thought it meant you were trashy and had a pickup truck? Or a big butt like a semi trailer. Then I got it.
-Guise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funniest one on the thread
heresmyusernam3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:56:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reading this is funny but had I been the lady in that situation I probably would have been uncomfortable!
The740 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:20:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck...
finky_starts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:40:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed out loud over this. Good work!
Old_man_at_heart ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:31:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
By context I understand you, but I've never heard of it as a semi. Always been referred to as a half chub.
Hammond1893 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just laughed way to hard at this, kudos
spacezoro ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:36:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking hilarious! I love it when I'm on bar and customers ask me questions and I just say automated dumb shit.
Myllo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:12:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh out loud
themagicchicken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"That's just the way my trousers ruck up."
Hooker171 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the 7th time I've laughed out loud reading this thread. My coworkers must think I'm crazy.
MiamiDoIphins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:06:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, that one got me. That's great
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:37:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people have no sense of humor.
I would have died laughing.
Daisy-Navidson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:50:58 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking fabulous! I always hated how stupid people could be in a coffee shop. I once asked someone โsmall medium or largeโ and she said โregularโ. Without thinking, without pausing, I just snapped โregular isnโt a size. Will that be small medium or large?โ
Roycewho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:56:12 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt get it...
SlugsAreCute ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:19:11 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I woulda proposed to you on the spot. That is friggin hilarious!
SANTICLAWZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:37:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Explain the joke pl0x
AlbinoSheepDawg ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:55:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Semi = half chub. Boner
SANTICLAWZ ยท -35 points ยท Posted at 11:56:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA
Das funny.
tesaract ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Comments like this make me wish i could afford to give out gold
Talasour ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:47:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'Wouldn't you live to know sweetheart? Wink.
GoonerKitten ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:39:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious I would have tipped you for that
GoonerKitten ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:39:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious I would have tipped you for that
GoonerKitten ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:39:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious I would have tipped you for that
IAmAlligatorBlood ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:16:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quick, say it again!
GoonerKitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:30:59 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said, it's fucking hilarious and I would have tipped him for that.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:36:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is incredible.
or "No, I'm just happy to see you."
UsuallyNever ยท 1829 points ยท Posted at 20:59:41 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was making casual conversation with a customer after a meeting and they had mentioned how disappointed they were in our QC at the time. I quickly remembered a funny story about our previous Quality guy not knowing how to read drawings or what the difference was between circumference and diameter...
That didn't help their impression of us.
Edit: Disappointed, not disappointing.
silversatire ยท 946 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one is next level. Most the people on here are losing individuals as customers, but you - youโre taking on sending a whole contract down in flames.
I like it.
Sillysolomon ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:48:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You think our QC is shit now wait till you hear about our last guy."
Supraman83 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:43:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no cardinal rule man, any part of your company is the greatest thing ever while in front of the customer. I fucking hate our installers, they try to overbill shit and are picky as sin but to a customer they are top notch.
UsuallyNever ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:49:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a weird way, thatโs where my heart was. I was thinking โman, weโve gotten much betterโ and it came out as โNo, youโre right, we care so little we had once hired this guy.โ
Not my best moment
Supraman83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh it happens. Customers deal with me pissed off almost daily. I'm professional but fuck I'll admit to it not quite welcoming. Usually because I've got a bunch of stuff to do and every time I try to work on it I get stopped, just gets to you after awhile
son_of_Khaos ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why honesty isn't always the best policy.
dontlikemangoes ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:13:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you work at Dunder Mifflin?
Dexaan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:58 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or for a boss that just happens to have pointy hair?
UsuallyNever ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:51:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes. LOL
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've got a guy that says shit like that in front of clients. I can't get some people to understand that you never shit talk anyone at your company in front of a client. It makes us all look incompetent.
wolfman1911 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:56:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You could have ended that story with something like 'But hey, he's gone now, so we are improving!'
PrinceDusk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:20:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well.. this kinda says something in itself
GreatArkleseizure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? Remembering this is as easy as pi!
OPs_other_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Disappointed or DISAPPOINTED?
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:18:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I had a teacher that suddenly mixed up stuff like that. They'd measure the right thing by call it wrong,and get angry when everyone was measuring what they said to instead of what they meant.
robocpf1 ยท 7497 points ยท Posted at 23:03:56 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got baited by a client when I was working reception at a law firm. We're supposed to screen calls for the attorneys and usually say "they're in a meeting" or "they're with another client" if the attorney doesn't have time to talk with that person right that moment.
A client calls reception, wants to (edit) complain about my boss - the big boss, bossman that never takes client calls on the first go, usually. She's screaming that that guy, my boss, is currently on her front lawn stealing her lawn ornaments. I don't know what to do with this other than say "Ma'am, I can assure you he's not, he's standing a few feet away from me right now."
She stops screaming immediately. "Well young man, perhaps you could let me speak to him."
I froze. Sh**. I felt like an idiot and had to explain to my boss (who was in fact right next to me). Luckily he laughed it off, said some clients are crazy, I didn't get in trouble or anything, I just felt foolish.
Edit: as I wrote it originally it, it reads that the woman called and asked to talk to my boss, while simultaneously claiming my boss was in her yard. What happened was they called our office pretending to complain about my boss being in the yard, then sprang the trap on me when I said he was there. Hopefully that clears that up a bit.
Cegrus ยท 4868 points ยท Posted at 01:47:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is the greatest plan I've ever heard to talk to the guy at the top.
HearthSaer ยท 1713 points ยท Posted at 03:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mom tricked her way to the CEO of Verizon to fix our cell phone plans once, but this one is definitely up there
Black_Moons ยท 1196 points ยท Posted at 03:39:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I e-mailed the CEO of telus to get my internet installed after 3 failed install attempts.
a technician arrived in 4 hours of sending the e-mail, after a executive customer service rep called me.
[deleted] ยท 359 points ยท Posted at 05:15:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Emailing the CEO is always a good move. It gets pushed right to the executive customer service rep, who then has far more power than the call center staff.
Also works great if you want to praise the business. I received a whole bunch of free goodies that way.
Goldblood4 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 05:46:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I should start emailing the CEOs of companies for free stuff
[deleted] ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 05:59:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I had an issue with some RAM I bought from Corsair a few years ago and it needed RMAing.
Emailed the CEO about how good the service was and how helpful people were. Received a (At the time) $50 Hard topped corsair mouse pad and a shirt. So I received $70 of free stuff for writing a 2 minute email, saying how good their service was.
pooloop88 ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 06:34:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, it doesn't surprise me that Corsair would do something like that, they have wonderful products and customer service! A truly wonderful company! /u/gloriousge0rge are you watching
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:35:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I'm currently building a brand new PC (I moved country and couldn't ship mine, plus it was quite old) and my go to brand for anything is Corsair.
bobusdoleus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to mention Pepsi(TM) brand and Marvel(TM) movies. Those also need to be mentioned.
DocWattz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would I care about pepsi or marvel?
bobusdoleus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:51:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm sorry I thought we were shilling corporate things.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man how fucking sad is it that if someone has had an absolutely amazing experience with a company, we're not allowed to relay this information to other people.
You know; the reason we recommend brands (or shill, as you put it) is because we genuinely believe in the quality of their products and think other people are better going for them over some other company.
Here's some more shilling for you; based on my experience:
Edit:
LetterSwapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, WD drives are great, Seagate is shit. I recently found out that WD bought SanDisk and was actually excited about a corporate merger for the first time.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:36:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah it's not so much that I think Western Digital are great, just that seagate is shit.
LetterSwapper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:32:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Douchebaaaaaaag
LeaveTheMatrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My question is... how do you find their email addresses to begin with?
I have an idea for a mailing script I might want to write.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:00:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Either googling or checking a website like this
LeaveTheMatrix ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:13:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hmm, I wonder how many UK CEOs I could get to respond..
Thanks, time to have some fun.
defZeppelin69 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:57:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not always a good move. Sometimes fucks us lower levels over. I worked in a big chain pizza delivery company. Apparently an order got sent out wrong. The woman called corporate to complain, who chewed out my manager who chewed me out. The lady could have just called th store, and I would have happily brought her the cinnastix she ordered plus a free drink and let her keep the breadsticks I accidentally gave to her
Black_Moons ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 07:06:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but I gave them 3 attempts to install. the 1st resulted in nobody knocking on my door and 4 hours later my internet and phone service turned off.
I had to go down the street to a friends to call and complain! I had no 911 service. I was not told there would be ANY interruption to my phone while upgrading my internet.
They claim it was because of bushes in the way of the drop. I ask for them to come out and tell me exactly how far they need it cut back and along what path since I didn't feel like just hacking my yard to bits and hoping for the best.
.. Again, No show. 3rd time, again no show.
There is only so many times you call the regular service lines and get screwed before they have blown their chances to make it right and deserve to be screamed at by their manager.
After the e-mail it took only 4 hours for a technician to stop by and spend the 5 minutes it took to tell me what to cut. 2 days later installed. After over a month of failed installs and screw ups to my service.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In general, you should be aware of what is resolvable at a higher level or a lower level. For simple things, you just go to the low level; but more complex issues you are usually better of going straight to the CEO.
esr360 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 07:57:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When the simple things are a regular occurrence (such as ignoring my no mayo request at KFC), then best believe I'm going straight to the colonel.
titankingz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:52:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Will this work with Comcast?
DrCalamity ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:58:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The problem is that the goat's blood to summon him is so pricey.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't know; but an email to the CEO praising their customer service reps and asking for advice did get me out of an early cancellation fee from my ISP when I moved to an area they couldn't service.
mb9023 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was having problems getting my phone number ported over to T-Mobile from Verizon a few years ago and ended up emailing the CEO and one of his assistants responded within the hour. After a week of carrying two phones around and them constantly telling me "it'll be ported today", she got it sorted that night.
__Severus__Snape__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this when I got sick of all my complaints about late buses being shrugged off. They stopped being late for some time after that. Then they slipped again.
Newoski ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 06:15:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ceo emails are handled by a gatekeeper that filters them to an appropriate area. I used to work ceo complaints for a large isp. Ceo will almost never know whats coming from customers.
In relation to this i had one instance when i was drawing up a data set for a stakeholder meeting and got caught up on a complaint call. Ceo taps on the shoulder and tells me its meeting time. I explain i am on the phone with a customer that calls in to complain about her $50 bill every month, he laughs and says if that's the case then she is costing us more than she spends with us, tell her to fuck off, cancle her account and meet us in room 3 in 5mins.
lemniscate__ ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:39:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did you find the CEO's email? That's amazing. Our telus guy showed up to the same address in ours, but in edmonton, "oops well it'll be another two weeks before you can get an appointment in Calgary"
Black_Moons ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The same way we learn anything pinky!
"telus CEO e-mail" into google and then click the 1st result.
My e-mail detailed the credits applied to my account and the events that occurred in detail, without swearing or insulting anything/anyone. Mainly it detailed how their install team was costing them money (in credits from customer support + no doubt billing when they didn't actually progress the work any) by not doing their job, and how my service was even interrupted due to them not doing their jobs (including phone service)
DemonRHK ยท 379 points ยท Posted at 04:20:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How tf did she pull that off? I work for the bastards and I can't get within 4 management levels of speaking to Lowell.
Seiglerfone ยท 220 points ยท Posted at 04:32:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, you've discovered their real jobs: defense.
Mmm_sweetlemonade ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:48:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love my meat shields โค๏ธ
SoManyPots ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:57:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same but AT&T. We have a phone listing with literally every employee and Randall Stephensonโs name and office info are there, but his phone number is conveniently missing.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:59:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
abellaviola ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:35:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wasnโt he a football player? What the fuck is he doing as CEO of Disney?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:53:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
crymson7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This seriously needs more upvotes...
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:02:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working at a Verizon call center, Dan Mead (Former CEO) visited. We were instructed to not even greet him if we saw him in the hallway, on pain of termination. Asshats.
sakurarose20 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:29:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like when you're playing Pokemon, and all the grunts keep getting in your way to getting to the admins/leader. Like, fucking move.
renegadecanuck ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 05:42:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I emailed Steve Jobs, once, after my roommate's iPhone volume switch broke, and the store refused to do anything about it ("our warranty just covers software issues"). This was the iPhone 3G, first one released in Canada, so phone carriers were used to being able to treat phones as disposable, and dick you around with warranties. My roommate was ready to cut his losses, and I said "no, I heard Steve Jobs gets involved when he's emailed at times - it's worth a shot."
Within an hour I had a phone call from an Apple "executive customer service" agent who got the information from me. Fifteen minutes later, my roommate got a phone call from Apple simply saying "we're sorry for the hassle, I just spoke with Wireless Wave, and they'll be sending you a new phone with express delivery." Maybe 20 minutes later, he got a phone call from Wireless Wave with a tracking number, and got a replacement phone two days later.
He may have been a prick, but Steve Jobs did not put up with his company's image being tarnished.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 07:02:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Need_More_Whiskey ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:07:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs two weeks of your life down the drain. Pure misery.
abellaviola ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:36:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like thereโs more to your story...
Need_More_Whiskey ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve had to respond to a few question marks and escalations, and Iโd put it at -5/10 aggressively do not recommend. Theyโre a huge amount of work, identifying and root causing and addressing and preventing it happening again, and then writing it all up. I just sigh and cancel my plans for the next weeks, because thatโs alllllll Iโll be doing.
sakurarose20 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:31:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine being that powerful, that you can strike fear into someone's heart with a question mark.
Keyra13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:21:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's less being powerful and more being respected? Like employees don't want to disappoint, instead of oh shit I'm gonna be fired response.
Michelanvalo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:46:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My company is small enough that if one of the executives did that I'd respond to them with something like "Context?"
pinheadd ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:37:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell the story. I used to work in a VZW call center, and I would love to hear how this happened. Was it Lowell McAdam she spoke to?
GetLikeB ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Details?
joogs23 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:27:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tell us the story!
bachoman ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:43:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At State Farm, the email that customer service gives out to customers for the CEO when they request it is just an unmonitored mailbox.
coquihalla ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:07:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A loved one's tenure at corporate says that it is unmonitored because everyone is caught up in meaningless meeting after meaningless meeting with no time for other work. Planning was not their strong suit.
goatcheesethrowaway ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:48:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Story time! Please tell us how!
kosif ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:54:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I managed to google-fu may way up to the "right below the ceo super duper customer service line" for Verizon. crazy how shit i'd been spending a month to resolves was fixed in about 6 minutes.
CaptnHooked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Your mom is serious. Iโve never heard of anyone turning tricks to get to the โOzโ of Verizon..
medalofme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ELABORATE
HearthSaer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:55:50 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so this was probably... four years back, & when we got onto Verizon I was in middle school, so like 12 years ago, & we enrolled on the unlimited family plan: unlimited talk, text, & data. But Verizon also allowed you to renew your existing contract, so we just kept that plan up into the Smartphone era.
Verizon frequently tried to get us to sign to a new plan, or anything to invalidate that plan, but after directly saying they wouldn't we were enrolled in a new plan. So my mom, short & fiery as she is, contacts the manager; nothing they can do. Contacts regional manager; nothing they can do. Just kinda kept Googling names, contacting their business lines, & I didn't ask about the details.
So one day I'm visiting her at work, & she says "Oh! By the way, I got our phone plans back." "Oh nice! What'd you do?" "I called the CEO at home."
"...what?" "Yeah! So I looked up his information, but you can really only find his name, so I found his secretary, & asked if I could speak to him about a charity golf event, & she gave me his personal line. Then I called him at home, & explained my plan had been changed & I worked my way up the chain until I got to you. & they changed it back."
She simply went back to work as if she hadn't just come off like the mildest version of Taken I'd ever heard of
medalofme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:44 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing. Thank you so much for telling me this.
Fun_Stick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your mom turned tricks for the Verizon CEO? Had to.
HearthSaer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:57:05 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I absolutely walked into this, bringing up my mom having talents on the internet
[deleted] ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 03:33:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
damian001 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:00:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't understand how it's such a "great plan." I would've just said "no he's busy with another client right now. Do you want me to take a message?"
TezMono ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 04:17:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm thinking the fact that he was dealing with an out of the ordinary situation made it easier to forget protocol.
complimentarianist ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, White House? I'd like to speak to whoever is in charge, and right now! Because that crazy Prez of ours is in my lawn, stealing Gnome Chomsky!!
frogjg2003 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:44:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you've recently called him out on Twitter, that one has a nonzero chance of being true.
Pancake_Nom ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:30:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You've obviously never heard about the person who called Comcast's CEO's mother to complain about their service.
mkcph84 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:33:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My friend is a pretty good cold caller on account of him being utterly shameless. He once called the reception of a big company asking to get the cell number of some vice president. The receptionist refuses, and he just goes "OK, well I'm at his house and haven't gotten any instructions, so I'll just dump these 10 tons of gravel on his front lawn then".
VP calls him back in a panic like 5 minutes later. Got royally pissed though, once he realized what had happened.
ArchetypicalDegen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:30:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why one should be honest about why they can't speak to the boss. Just say he doesn't take phone calls.
DaughterEarth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually a person used to fielding calls would just explain they were with a client, on their way in or out. Or not respond to insanity in the first place
The_Quibbler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The real LPTs are in the comments.
totest_bag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like it only works against white belts
aard_fi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Over a decade ago I was switching DSL providers, and they messed the switch up, so I ended up without internet for a while. The support was useless. I was talking about my issues with a colleague at work, who mentioned that when he had a similar issue he sat down and dialled every number in the providers number block until somebody interesting answered the phone.
That "somebody interesting" was a secretary to the CEO. He gave me her number, and she promised to kick some ass. Got a call from a competent technician less than 30 minutes later who went through some trouble shooting with me, and directly sent out modem and other hardware a second time just in case it's a fault with that (it was unlikely, but he said he'd rather cover this, and that way I'll have a spare set of hardware if it ever breaks later on).
I received regular updates what they're trying throughout the day - he told me he got ordered to give me a status update at least every hour. And by the evening they found a mislabelled patch field close to the handover point for my home, and I got home to working internet.
Never had to use that route afterwards, always ended up getting fast error resolution going the regular way from that point onwards, and cancelled shortly after they got bought due to moving to a different country. Had a short fun experience with the new helpdesk telling me I can't cancel, they'll provide me with DSL at my new address. She didn't quite believe me Helsinki is not in Germany, so I told her to arrange the connection at my new address. Got an email next day they cancelled my contract.
LouSputhole94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:24:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly you gotta respect the smarts on that lady
RuneLFox ยท 1026 points ยท Posted at 03:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel even more foolish. I wouldn't have realised that this was a plot to get to speak to the boss. I would have thought she was serious about the lawn ornaments.
How can I stop being so naive?
LittleMissTaken ยท 938 points ยท Posted at 04:04:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an expert street smarts teacher with many accreditations, send me $100 dollars via Western Union and I will teach you all I know.
dickseverywhere444 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:08:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also after you pay him, you need to need to send me your name, birthdate, address, social and at least 2 credit card numbers to verify your information. After that your classes will begin just under that bridge you bought last week.
LittleMissTaken ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:19:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes, very good. My star pupil /u/dickseverywhere444 will be able to get that info form you GOD BLESS
dickseverywhere444 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:21:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Papa bless
bessibabe4 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:20:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so it's YOU bastards whose handiwork I undo all day. :/ (Banker)
dickseverywhere444 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:01:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Walks away whistling looking up like I'm totally innocent here
bessibabe4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
glares at you like you just kicked a puppy
rnykal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
don't forget the expiration dates and ccvs n00b
nickburgess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which reminds me. I still haven't received the payment on the bridge. So I'm going to need all that information along with a cashiers check. And a document promising me your second born child signed by no less than two notaries.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you take cash? My bank account is locked up because a Nigerian prince stole my card info.
NotThisFucker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it's in a silver briefcase
Justsomedudeonthenet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds great! Send me your bank name, account and routing number and I'll get that western union payment right out.
NotThisFucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:54:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My name at my bank is NotThisFucker, my account is currently negative, and I usually take the 305 on my route there
Kickinthegonads ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's a steal!
NotThisFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What?! Nobody is stealing!
WhyIsTheNamesGone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:44:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wanna make sure your written correspondence is truthful, so it's not fraud when you defraud some guy.
Dragonics ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope for this world's sake that no one actually thought you serious.
LittleMissTaken ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:27:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The only thing that is serious is my MANY ACCREDITATIONS which allow me to teach at such high levels friend. Maybe take course to learn these skills? Only $100 dollars Western Union?
TooOldForThis--- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:00:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Will you accept iTunes cards?
ruintheenjoyment ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only have cheques
The_Quibbler ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:22:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope if anyone ever sends you the $100 you reply with a diploma.
PresidentDonaldChump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heeyyyy you're not the wallet inspector...
Sisterbeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in.
majaka1234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lesson one - don't send money to strange people you met on the internet.
HeirOfHouseReyne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't western union that money transfer office that scammers always use? Sure, I'll send it.
NotThisFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:51:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only have $120, can I still learn?
xternal7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't pay $100, but if you teach me for free I'm gonna tell both my twitter followers about you! Just think of all the great exposure you'll get!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll do you one better, and give you personal, one-on-one lessons for $50 in amazon gift cards
LehighAce06 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:01:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need to be less naive, just quick on your feet... That situation would've been fixed with "ma'am, a few feet away from me is also another client, with whom he's speaking. He'll have to call you back."
BTC_Brin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in this case it would have been easy: "He can't possibly be doing what you're saying, because I saw him walk into a meeting with a client five minutes ago."
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretend interaction is a game. One of the rules is you're not supposed to admit your boss is available. Think before you speak and play within the rules.
FeatheredCat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After youโre done with these guys, thereโs a bridge I thing you may be interested in purchasing.
darkslayer114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:07:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just would've said something like
"well then you can just go outside to talk to him"
mach0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would approach this completely differently, like, if my big boss is doing something... how am I going to fix this? He's the boss, I don't have anyone to complain to. I would just respond "Give me your address, I will try to send a car as soon as possible, I don't know what else I can do, he's my boss after all".
Wyle_E_Coyote73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't. It's endearing.
RuneLFox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:55:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is it? I just feel so idiotic!
rubypetal ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:39:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a former gatekeeper that would have thrown me off as well.
jfsindel ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:32:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, that woman is going places.
Trancefuzion ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:11:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what you said before but I feel like you could avoid the bait with something like "ma'am, just because he's in the office doesn't mean he's available." Stand your ground. Double down. Don't take that shit.
El_Necio ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:31:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Could have turned the tables on her and said "if he's outside your house stealing your lawn ornaments then why are you calling the office? he's clearly at your place" or something like that lol
FlakF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This
Lyrr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
so good
complimentarianist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:20:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He may have been the big boss bossman, but was he the Head Texan?
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a daughter of a lawyer, this is smart. I applaud that bastard for baiting you.
manskins ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:27:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for declaring it smart, daughter of a lawyer.
PirateRobotNinjaofDe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's amazing. Though...you could also have just transferred to his line if he was standing a few feet away from you, so he could let it go to voicemail.
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is genius...
draginator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:52:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's clever.
22marks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I seem to remember a story of a powerful Hollywood agent who would get past the receptionist by saying he was calling from a hospital and it had something to do with their children. They'd immediately be patched through and then he'd just start talking about the deal he was trying to make.
WardIsHydra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:50:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You could've said, "he's just walking into a meeting."
Meakis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would still say no to her.
theinsanepotato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thats admittedly clever on the surface, but the canned response of "He's with another client" would still 100% work here.
He's standing a few feet away from me right now... talking to another client. Can I take a message?
LP99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:42:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like I'm missing something. She wanted to talk the guy she claimed was currently standing on her lawn?
robocpf1 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:50:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wrote that incorrectly - she wanted to talk to my boss, but she didn't say that, she just started screaming about him being on the lawn. She baited me into admitting he was in the office and could talk to her, where normally I would automatically get her to leave a message or send her to voicemail.
himym101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Couldn't you have just followed up with that he was in a meeting? Just because you can see him from where you sit, doesn't mean he was available to talk to anyone? The reception at our company can see most of the executive desks from her seat.
robocpf1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:06:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I absolutely could have, but this was the first time this had happened and the woman was quite literally screaming through the telephone. Caught me off-guard.
himym101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I wouldn't have come up with any response any better in the moment. I've been yelled at a bunch of times and most of the time I just start citing store policy to get them to shut up. I came up with canned responses that I can robotically reply so the customer is unable to argue with me over stupid stuff. Your job sounds much more difficult.
GrowlmonDrgnbutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Unfortunately he has a meeting at [the next 5min interval]..."
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"uhh ma'am, I can assure you he just went into a meeting. I have visual but not allowed to interrupt"
Or something?
envirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were gonna say "I had a brain fart and instead of saying he's with a client or he's in a meeting I said he's in a client". Gotta say i'm a little let down.
baby_fart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something from a movie I've seen. Can't recall the name though.
andybassuk93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My granddad used to need to contact C-Level / Director Level people at companies. He found if he asked for them by name he got โtheyโre in a meetingโ fairly often, maybe 60% of the time.
So he tried a new tactic. He said โitโs about their car, I think I just scraped it in the car parkโ. Worked wonders for him
Dakurar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But why? You could have just told her that he is near but in a meeting.
cloud3321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you can still decline using the line saying he is in another engagement. Meeting another client. In a meeting. Ask her to leave a message or something.
BurritoInABowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like this would make a great Gru's Plan meme.
kharmatika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs fucking brilliant, I have so much respect for this woman, tbh
KorGgenT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:09:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well if he's in your yard, you don't need to call me to talk to him then.
idrive2fast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol you should have immediately responded "he's on the phone, I'll have to have him call you back." All you said was he's standing near you, you didn't say he was available to talk on the phone.
themommaduck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would she call to speak to someone that is supposedly on her lawn? Bad ruse, but effective!!
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's weirdly clever
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:40 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love the fact that she thinks a lawyer would steal lawn ornaments.
In_between_minds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure thing, his fee is 500 an hour, minimum one hour, billed thereafter every 15 minutes. There is a 1000 fee for making an unscheduled call, and a 2000 fee for every item he has to push back or cancel due to taking your call, there is also a 5000 fee per obscenity. Please press 1 to confirm you understand these fees and consent"
teenagesadist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:06:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read your edit and still don't understand. What part of "They're not available" doesn't factor into this interaction?
robocpf1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:21:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The part where you're 18, kind of new to the job, and are getting screamed at when normally your interactions are limited to normal volume, pretty polite people.
jeegte12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:45:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
the world runs on lies, apparently. thanks for making this world a better place. with your lies
Art_Vandelay_7 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:19:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That lady earned the right to speak with your boss.
FlakF ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't see how you got baited by this shit
libwitch ยท 856 points ยท Posted at 01:10:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
at a bookstore, I had a customer complain because after asking me where about a dozen fiction* authors were (all our fiction was in one place), I pointed out that if he knew the last name all he had to do was know the alphabet and it was ok to sing it if he needed to.
My manager took the complaint the next morning and reminded it was probably best I kept my snark to a slightly more inside voice.
*it also took me about 10 minutes to get him sorted on fiction vs nonfiction.
D-USA ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:17:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a 30something professional with a Masterโs degree. I sing the ABC song every time Iโm filing something to remember where it goes.
chuiy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:40:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same, but I go through at like 10x the speed while muttering it under my breath.
"L? Where's that?"
abcdefghijkl
libwitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, so do I (and one of my master's is an MLS, which yes, I had when I was at the bookstore). I still will occasionally do it under my breathe when I in the stacks.
SangEntar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:19:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious! Well done!
JolietJakeLebowski ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:33:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair that's a pretty dickish thing to say.
drivebyupvote ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:39:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it wasn't, it wouldn't be in this thread
JolietJakeLebowski ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:07:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very true!
JerseyByNature ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:58:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even remotely dickish. Anyone that would get offend by it takes themselves way too seriously.
libwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:24 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dickish would be assuming the customer didn't know it
YourLocalMonarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
in his defence non fiction being real and fiction bring fake has never made much sense to me either
Arctic_Puppet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:38:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fake and non-fake.
I know it's a weird way to say it, but if you go with the logic that "fiction" and "fake" both start with the letter f, it makes more sense haha
madowlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve encountered the same thing as a bookseller. My favorite was when customers asked a book by color.
libwitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:09 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
had a coworker win at this once. Customer cut in line on christmas eve to demand "the blue book that was up front a few months ago." He turned around, grabbed a random book from a shelving cart and handed it to her. She blinked and said "Oh,, thats the one!" and got in the back of the line.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was trying to buy a book. That makes him smarter than half the population.
[deleted] ยท 23399 points ยท Posted at 22:49:22 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked as a dry cleaner. Woman comes in, her dad died. Wants me to iron the suit he would be buried in. I ask her what kind of starch she would like. She asks what I recommend.
I, in all of my infinite wisdom, said "well I'm assuming he won't be moving around much so a light starch is fine" and then immediately apologized and mentally died inside
eharper9 ยท 3926 points ยท Posted at 03:16:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"And ah shit I did it again"
Putnum ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 05:06:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well fine, he's dead, but that doesn't mean he won't be moving around. The body has to get from the morgue to the funeral home to the cemetery, and depending on if/when the open casket part took place, the suit could have been moving back and forth a little bit.
RedZaturn ยท 106 points ยท Posted at 05:13:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also, a light starch is more comfortable but not as durable as a heavy starch. Since heโs not gonna be concerned with comfort, might as well got with a heavy starch.
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 06:21:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plus, if a graverobber thinks of stealing the suit they will instantly be put off by the hard texture of the heavy startch, thus saving the dead dad the embarrassment of being seen naked.
Khumbolawo ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:43:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This.
daiwilly ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:10:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is he being cremated?..ok, well this starch is highly flammable!
Kimiko_12 ยท 4223 points ยท Posted at 01:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in the Drycleaners also. This made me laugh a lot.
Edit: Wow this is what reddit has become
2crowncar ยท 575 points ยท Posted at 04:27:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have never worked at a dry cleaner. This made me laugh a lot.
JoXand ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:37:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have worked at a dry cleaners. This didn't make me laugh a lot.
LineChef ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 04:42:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve taken my clothes to be dry cleaned. This made me laugh a lot.
nibbins ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:44:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've never had my clothes dry cleaned. This didn't make me laugh a lot.
reedyp ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 04:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dry clean my dick.
thenutellafreak ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made my dick laugh a lot
leopheard ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:30:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made my uncle Richard laugh a lot.
Penesuke ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:34:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle didn't laugh a lot
deadpool216 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle was the dry Cleaner. Hi uncle.
TheSplashFamily ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:54:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made my dick.
thanks_mrbluewaffle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:23:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dick made my day
FO_Knows ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me laugh a lot
architkhandelwal47 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:59:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer wet clean but this made me laugh a lot
dontsuckmydick ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer mine sucked clean. This made me laugh a lot.
Professor_pranks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dry clean my dick so often that it's never been wet.
thanks_mrbluewaffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poor vaginas
Maur2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:53 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. It never got close to any of those.
20410 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have cleaned a dryer. This made me laugh a lot.
StackerPentecost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt wear clothes. This made me laugh a lot.
Promethea- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have laughed a lot. This made me work at a dry cleaners.
improbablewobble ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:26:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am Schrรถdinger's drycleaner and I both laughed and didn't laugh at the same time.
thanks_mrbluewaffle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made my daughter laugh a lot
AerThreepwood ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:51:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I fucked a girl in the alley behind the dry cleaners she worked at a couple times, so it's pretty much like I worked there.
I also laughed.
Avakiravi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yall just got really dry humor
joshuralize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The drycleaners?
dressan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I'm at work now actually. Browsing reddit.... ยฏ_(ใ)_/ยฏ
Miller_Hi_Lyfe ยท 1522 points ยท Posted at 01:28:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What was her reaction?
[deleted] ยท 3169 points ยท Posted at 01:29:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was suprisingly calm. I think she could sense my pain
dvaunr ยท 2070 points ยท Posted at 03:59:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I probably wouldโve appreciated the answer. Youโre clearly not trying to upsell me or anything, just giving an honest straightforward answer.
chaseoes ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 04:26:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, like what the fuck is starch?
nibbins ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:47:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's basically spray on glue that will keep your shit from wrinkling after ironing.
SurelyYouKnow ยท 99 points ยท Posted at 04:31:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
According to my botany teacher, the shit that turns to sugar and makes you fat. :/
Professor_pranks ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:08:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They teach that in plants class?
TheSwagMa5ter ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:15:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where you think starches come from
rwizo ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 06:31:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The dry cleaners. Pay attention!
captainmavro ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well you see son, when one plant loves it's self very much...
ubiquitous_apathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Calories make you fat, bud.
SurelyYouKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And calories come from two primary sources...one being starch, bud. ;)
ubiquitous_apathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:04 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can eat all of the starches you want as long as your caloric intake is below your calories burned and you won't gain an ounce of fat. Starches don't make you fat, calories do.
monster_bunny ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:45:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm sad because now I feel super old. Didnโt realize this wasnโt a common thing, unless you donโt get clothes dry cleaned or a grandmother who irons bed linens.
So starch, when used at home, comes in an aerosol-like dispenser and misted on laundry immediately prior to ironing them. It does three things- makes the iron create perfectly smooth and flat presses which gives it that โcrispโ feeling. It also helps eliminate static, and gives the garment or linen a longer-lasting press. Most laundromats and dry cleaners offer the option for heavy and light starches. Many high end hotels (The Ritz, some Hiltonโs) do this extra step with their bed sheets.
Pro tip- if you have a mother or family member still around that knows how to iron and starch sheets, ask that for part of a holiday or birthday gift. The soothing, expert hand of a freshly laundered and heavy starched bed sheet will give you the sleep of your lifetime and make you want to cry from love and happiness.
spookytus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:08:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs also useful for catching your principalโs skivvy-based alter ego.
Couthlessfer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:11 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm 28 and had no clue starching was no longer a thing. Maybe I'm older than I thought. I starch my husband's work clothes. I've tried starched sheets, but I fucking hated it.
monster_bunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:04 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can see why people wouldnโt like it. If youโre using 100% cotton sheets the sheets wonโt envelop you like they would naturally fall across the body. They sort of sit on top and makes it feel kind of like a tarp. But if itโs the dead of winter and youโve got a thermal between the sheets and the duvet and whatever other blankets youโve got on top, it really gives a โclean feelingโ of warmth rather than a stuffy one. Alternatively, in the middle of balls-out-humidity-August, summer sheets with a simple quilt will wick away the sweat.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basically something that makes your shirt stiffer and less likely to crinkle. The more you have, the longer it lasts. Also, the less comfortable.
Fun fact, often livestock expo people will get their jeans starched to hell so they can still look professional during auction (dirt won't stick as much)
ChaiTRex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Starch is the work of Satan!
gyroscopesrcool ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
basically fabric softener if I'm not mistaken.
DoUEvenSL0WBRO ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 04:45:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs actually the opposite. It makes clothes more stiff to give a crisp appearance. Most commonly added to collars on menโs dress shirts.
BV05 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my boxxers starched.
Beardless_Shark ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:02:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Zoop ๐๐๐
monster_bunny ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same. My dad died recently and thereโs a lot of condolences and eggshell walking. The people who helped me most were the ones who wanted me to reach out, reached out to me, or were simple people we had to deal with for the process who were very straightforward-no-bullshit people. I probably would have even smirked at that response.
Zenitharr ยท 1016 points ยท Posted at 04:02:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry about it. People say awkward stuff in those situations. My mother passed away a few months ago and as I am handling her business I've had more than one business person try to express sympathy upon being informed and come up with "I apologize for your mom's death."
LayMayLove ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 04:19:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm sorry for your loss.
RepostsAreBadMkay ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 04:37:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Move on
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:47:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
leopheard ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:33:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reference for anyone not Briddish:
https://youtu.be/TKOrr4XRbg8
DragonflyGrrl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:35:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh DAMN, haha, that's great.. thanks for linking it. Three people saying the same thing, I knew there was a reference I wasn't getting. What's it from?
GlenKoco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:42:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The IT crowd
DragonflyGrrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:07:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thankya kindly!
GlenKoco ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:45:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The IT crowd
maqsarian ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So the only time I ever heard "I'm sorry for your loss" growing up was cops and doctors saying it on shows like NYPD Blue and ER, and so I always thought of it as like a Thing That Official People Say when they have to say something to console you for a dead family member or whatever.
Like an "I'm sorry for the inconvenience" for the bereaved.
Zach_luc_Picard ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 04:37:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIโm sorryโ and โMy badโ mean the same thing unless youโre at a funeral
darkforcedisco ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait you're not supposed to say that?
Shit.
Seiglerfone ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 04:26:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're not supposed to say that... if you weren't responsible for their death.
darkforcedisco ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:13:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's just a matter of English semantics. "Sorry for your loss" or "Sorry for the loss of your loved one" seems very similar to me. If someone said "Sorry for the death of your loved one" I wouldn't think twice about it.
Seiglerfone ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 05:25:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... it is a matter of meaning in the English language.
The words "sorry," and "apology" have distinct meanings. "Sorry" is used to express sympathy, whereas "apology" is used to refer to an expression of regret for harm done; it's a taking of responsibility.
Saying you're sorry for someone's loss, therefor, is sympathizing with their suffering, whereas apologizing for someone's mother's death is regretfully expressing that that death is your fault.
It's the difference between "I'm sorry," and "I killed your mother. I'm sorry."
Zenitharr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:41:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are absolutely right and I think that is where maybe some people get confused.
* "I'm sorry" can be used instead of "I apologize" if you have some responsibility in the harm or inconvenience. But if you aren't directly involved, "I'm sorry" or "My condolences" is better. This expresses sympathy without implying you were responsible.
* You can also apologize by proxy for someone else you are close to or feel responsible for. If you bring your child or your drunk friend over and he breaks a vase, you can apologize for him.
Seiglerfone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:52:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Certainly, but you are either in association with them or know of their sentiments in a better state ... or are pretending. You're not apologizing there as an outsider, but as someone sort of acting-by-proxy as them/it for the purposes of the apology.
Such as, say, a waiter apologizing for a mistake the kitchen made. They may not be responsible, but both are agents of the business, and so one is apologizing, but for actions associated with them, but not their own.
PixelatedPooka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:37 on April 6, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More times than not, my fellow over polite friends will exclaim that itโs not my fault when I say โIโm sorryโ in response to something they have said, like an anecdote or tale of woe and tribulation.
Thatโs when I respond that itโs a sorry of sympathy not responsibility. Feel free to steal it. Itโs quick and easy to say and remember, no need for a duel of politeness. :-)
(( Yโall have seen the old overly polite chipmunk cartoons, right? ))
GuruLakshmir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a native English speaker, I didn't interpret the sentence that way.
Seiglerfone ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:36:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That may be the case, but, as a native English speaker: That is what those words mean, and generally how they're used. It's something you're more likely to know implicitly than explicitly. You may think they mean the same thing, but would you ever apologize to someone for something that wasn't your fault, or that they didn't think was your fault? No. You'd say you were sorry.
GuruLakshmir ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:07:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a native English speaker, I say "I apologize" for things that are not my fault all the time. I do it when I want to appear more formal, as in speaking to a customer/client/etc.
I think this may vary from region to region, culture to culture, between socioeconomic statuses, etc. There is an incredibly large native English population out there and there will inevitably be differences among speakers.
Seiglerfone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In that context, you usually do have some fault as a representative of the company you are working for. If it's for something distinct from the actions or decisions of the business or yourself, you're using the word incorrectly.
I'm going with no, and I wish people would stop appealing to that fact as a defense.
Ukpoliticsmodssuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who said I wasn't...
Random-Rambling ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:27:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it sounds awkward because it sounds like you're apologizing for killing their mother.
KingSunnyD ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:31:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm still not seeing the problem.
mtm5891 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:40:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apologizing for the death makes it seem like you were responsible for it. Saying โIโm sorry for your lossโ is the more socially acceptable, less murdery phrase youโre looking for.
darkforcedisco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:13:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry for the death of your loved one" is bad too or...?
MintyFreshNipples ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:00:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's sort of fine, but English speakers tend to be euphemistic about death when talking to loved ones of the deceased. They "passed on", "I'm sorry for your loss", "they've gone to a better place", etc.
h3lblad3 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:23:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry for your family member's contribution to soylent green."
MintyFreshNipples ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Perfect
redrightreturning ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not grammatically incorrect, but it sounds weird (to this native English speaker). When someone is grieving, we usually refer to it as a "loss" instead of a "death". Of course, it is technically a death, but that word sounds harsh in this context. So you could say, "I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one" of just, "I'm sorry for your loss".
transandpans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, that's fine. "Sorry" can either mean you're apologizing or that you're expressing sympathy, so it's appropriate in that context.
Princess_Batman ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:16:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you're in mourning sometimes there's a secret joy in watching other people make themselves uncomfortable.
ClothDiaperAddicts ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:44:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True. I went to visit my mother when she was on her deathbed. A few days after she passed, I flew back home to the country where I now live. One of my coworkers knew my mother was ill, but that was it. She asked me how my mother was. I took a great amount of joy at her discomfort to my response. I said deadpan, โDead.โ
10/10 would do again.
Seiche ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:37:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah plus some people are just a bit dumb about it.
"Gee Karen, she had stage IV cancer a year ago, how'd you think she's doing?"
Nasus_Is_My_Bae ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stage 8 now right?
Zenitharr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in John Oliver's voice.
CorsetofWords ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:54:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a co-worker about my grandfather's old cake-making things, and how I wished I'd brought some with me when we moved. Talked up a few cakes I did, and the cakes he had done, etc. She asks, "Where does he live?"
My immediate response? "He doesn't."
Her expression was amazing. Somehow, we both wound up laughing our asses off at my blasรฉ af response. Mentioned it again a few weeks later and we almost got going again.
ClothDiaperAddicts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:11:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The โstill funny and maybe inappropriateโ part reminds me of when my sisters and I were at the hospice house with our mother. Our mother was no longer responsive at that point, and we knew that it would be days, maybe even hours, before she was gone. The hospice social worker asked us about our motherโs religious preferences.
Our oldest sister had been our parentsโ caretaker in the end (and our grandparents, too), so she was kind of the spokeswoman for these things. She bit her lip and tilted her head; you could see her thinking. Then she said, โWell, she likes Jesus.โ
My other sister and I just cracked up. And still laugh over it.
CorsetofWords ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, that's amazing. And it's always amazing to have things to laugh about around those times, isn't it?
You have my condolences, but also my silent laughter at your story from the breakroom.
Zenitharr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have done that. Some business called and asked if they could speak to her. "No." Awkward pause. Finally they cautiously ask why not. "She's dead." Oh... um...
PM_ME_UR_SECRETsrsly ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:37:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think that's fair. It feels kinda nice, and it's a little distraction from the pain.
Piee314 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:13:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad there is someone out there more awkward than me.
organicburgerking ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:58:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apology accepted
DanielTrebuchet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:26:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it takes a few times to figure out the best way to handle those. I did customer service for a cable company and closing out accounts for deceased customers was my least favorite thing. You feel for the person on the other end of the line but it can be hard to convey the sincerity in an interaction like that, so it usually just ends up turning kind of awkward.
Rikolas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:27:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry for your loss. I lost mine a few months ago too
Never had this one myself! Did have a few conversations that went:
"So how's your weekend?"
"Not the best, repainting my mum's house ready to sell it"
"Oh lucky her! Did she appreciate it?"
"well she's dead so ummm no"
Starved-Nutritionist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:36:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The list of suspects continues to grow.
TeniBear ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:09:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIt was YOOOUUUU!โ
countesslathrowaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:48:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was handling my moms affairs, I delighted in these awkward exchanges. They were such a relief from the details.
saxBroFive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:43:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of situation where you say "I forgive you, but try not to do it again"
Zenitharr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"If you're really sorry, you can make it up to me by offering me the promotional rate."
ILikeLenexa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
-Demetri Martin
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone came up to my dad in town and said "jesus, what's with the face, who died?" just kidding around. Dad was on his way into the suit shop to buy a suit for his mother's funeral. Just said "my mother" and watched his friend die inside.
viper9172 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:51:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHmm, now Iโm suspiciousโ
Honestly, the use of โapologizeโ is so different from sorry in these situations lmao
BluntTruthGentleman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You're forgiven"
FierceDeity_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, do you have anything to do with her demise?
ohmyfsm ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:01:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly she probably needed that. Probably reminded her of a joke her dad would've made.
TezMono ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was probably just numb.
1stLtObvious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better, my grandmother died last April, and a tree branch knocked out power at the funeral home. When I got there, my mom, still a little in shock at seeing her mom dead, just says "The lights went out."
It took all I had not to respond with "Yeah, that's why we're here."
Biased_individual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did she buy the suit nevertheless?
WannabeGroundhog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She chuckled a bit but her dad was a little stiff.
Miller_Hi_Lyfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo!
J2MES ยท 565 points ยท Posted at 23:13:14 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is so good!
dickseverywhere444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Big if true.
Calignis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colossal if correct
abdulis2cool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ginormous if factual
Sammyzehead ยท 1069 points ยท Posted at 03:45:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a bartender in Florida and has a similar situation. A regular came in on a pretty slow night and she was sitting out on the patio with her beer, looking deep in thought. I walked by while taking out the trash and said in a soft, creepy voice "you... are so alone". Upon returning inside, I discovered her dad had passed away that morning and she was now bawling her eyes out. I could not apologize enough and ended up playing some of his favorite Stones songs on the guitar at his funeral.
Last_Years_Man ยท 235 points ยท Posted at 04:51:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you even whisper something like that? I can't imagine that being perceived in a positive manner in ANY logical way. That's rough. And weird. Good on you for trying to make them feel better though.
hyacinth_girl ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 05:24:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it sounds like op had one of those moments where your brain doesn't get to evaluate your words before your mouth spits them out. Word vomit.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท 93 points ยท Posted at 05:16:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If he knows the regular pretty well and that person usually is very outgoing I get boe it could be a joke
vadasultenfusss ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:49:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know right. That would hurt my feelings even without a dead parent.
PM_ME_UR_SECRETsrsly ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. I just tried saying it out loud a few times and I managed to make it sound like a (bad) casual joke.
Last_Years_Man ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:25:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeeeeeah... I don't know. Saying "oh... you are SO alone.." to someone even if you're somewhat acquainted without saying ANYTHING ELSE and just walking away, almost sounds like you're rubbing it in. lol
I'm sure you learned your lesson on that one, I guess maybe everyone slips up sometime. I've got a few stories but they ain't customer-employee type situations.
GiantPurplePeopleEat ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 04:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing you apologising profusely; the desperateness slowly increasing in intensity. All the while your body is morphing into Keith Richards as a guitar materializes from thin air, the soft strumming of notes slowly coalescing into a steady progression of chords. Your voice starts to sing:
๐ถ"...I saw her today on the patio
A glass of beer in her hand..."๐ต
FO_Knows ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 04:55:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I saw her today on the patio,
A glass of beer in her hand.
I knew she had lost her daddio,
So I played songs from his favorite band.
You canโt always get what you want.
You canโt always get what you want.
You canโt always get what you want.
But if you try sometime,
Youโll find...
You get what you need.
Jiannies ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:44:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
what'd you play?
dontsuckmydick ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:35:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Were you actually invited to play at the funeral or was that just a continuation of the creepy shit you apparently do sometimes?
Sammyzehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha She asked me if I would play them on the saxophone but I offered the guitar because I could learn the songs in time and had another guy that could play behind me.
Fun_Stick ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:41:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What a wholesome happy/depressing ending. You're a great person for doing that for her and her family and friends
TheFantasticDangler ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:43:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry, a daughter got her frequent bartender to play multiple Rolling Stone songs on guitar at her fathers funeral?
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 05:48:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I apologise for your lack of belief.
At least in smaller UK towns/villages it really isn't unusual for a barkeeper to be genuinely close with the regulars and their families. It's sadly decreasingly common these days, but the local pub traditionally serves as something of a social hub. You take the family there for a meal each weekend, down a few with your mates, drown your sorrows, and maybe even host events like wedding receptions and wakes there. Small wonder a good bartender can be considered all but family, in many cases they've seen you grow up.
beholdfrostilicus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:20:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aw man, I wanna be part of a pub family :(
soenottelling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:21:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where everyone know...your name... ding, dingadinga ding ding
MusaTheRedGuard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah where everybody knows my naaAAme
Sammyzehead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was exactly the case; very similar to a real life Cheers environment.
dontsuckmydick ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No he just showed up.
Cheese_Bits ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
... the fuck is wrong with you?
OhNoesRain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hillarious, way to rub it in!
Kerriganszergheels ยท 164 points ยท Posted at 03:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oof... damn man this is the first one that really made me cringe
Aesen1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:56:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would be cringing but my face canโt contort in the right way that expresses the cringe.
trstalpr93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Minnesotan?! Oofta
Kerriganszergheels ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:14:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even close. Texan
trstalpr93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit!
Clashin_Creepers ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:36:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean... You weren't wrong
cautiondrypaint ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:43:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Insensitive? Perhaps. Reasonable? Definitely.
ripinpants ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:16:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar happened to me. Woman brought in her dead husbands clothes to be dry cleaned before she donated all of them. When I told her they would be ready in two days, she snapped at me that โheโs dead so thereโs no rushโ.
LotsOfInapropos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:30:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like that was out of grief and anger for him being gone, otherwise she just numbly would have said okay, because you said something you usually say to a customer every day. Obviously she was hurting so much she couldn't stand to have his clothes around reminding her of him, and wanted them dry cleaned first so that they would be fine representations of her love and respect for him. She was clearly still hurting and had her mind on the fact that he was gone and not coming back, and that remark, though uncalled for and nit your fault in the slightest, wasn't personal and obviously was coming from a deeply painful place. I hope you didn't feel bad thinking you did anything wrong, because you didn't.
AbaddonSF ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:23:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use dark humor to deal with grief , This would have made my day if you would have told me that under the same conditions.
OwlRememberYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here, I'd have probably laughed at that. When my grandad was in hospital, dark humour was pretty much all that kept us going.
One of the days we were in the hospital, me, my mum, my nan and my two uncles were in the waiting room of the ICU (he was unresponsive and on life support) with another family. For context my mum's text ringtone was Yoda saying "Message from the dark side there is."
Someone texted her, and my nan said something along the lines of "oh, it's grandad trying to get in touch with you!"
We all burst out laughing, but the other family in there looked absolutely horrified, which, honestly, made us laugh more.
Bit fucked up but sometimes thats just how you cope
grandwahs ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:38:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did she have the suit he was buried in?
Plsdontreadthis ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:50:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think he said "was buried in" because that's what ended up happening, not that he had already been buried when the story happened.
thunderling ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well she had to take it to the dry cleaners to wash all the dirt and putrefaction out.
LotsOfInapropos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And give it a light starch.
crystalistwo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What OP didn't mention was that she also had a shovel.
KevinCastle ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:38:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually would have laughed at that in her position
punkinfacebooklegpie ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's better than saying "I recommend nothing. No starch. Don't even get the suit cleaned. He's dead, what's the point?"
F0MA ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lost my Dad over a decade ago and although I don't know how I would've reacted then, I sure as heck think it's hilarious now. Hopefully after all this time, she thinks it's funny, too, if she didn't back then.
Iskandermissile ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:51:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was cold as ice. Lol
TalisFletcher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:01:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just like her dad.
Obscu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good I'm snort-laughing in public.
ars3n1k ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would have been more inappropriate if you had asked how stiff they wanted be the stiffโs suit to be.
Hyixtronix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
F
PeterMus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad passed away and I miss him very much.
I would have laughed.
TheDeltaLambda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Have you posted this story before? It's awfully familiar.
jo-alligator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody give this redditor gold!
Bodchubbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well you arenโt wrong
Lleu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If her dad was buried in it, why was she carrying it!?
disneybiches ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You had your customer service how can I help you hat on. . .it's understandable but fucking hilarious XD
NordinTheLich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did she take it? Did she accept the apology, chuckle, or did she berate you?
Ahy_Jay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, light starch for you as well?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More like drown me in the washing machine
Ahy_Jay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol donโt forget downy in the process. That was a good laugh tho. If I was there I wouldโve bust into laughter and took the blame for you.
SalemWitchBurial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your username gave me a good laugh lmao
rs7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer about how it gives me joy to watch people struggle with umbrellas turning inside out in the wind, only to realize they were holding one.
I was pouring her coffee at the time and didnโt notice. She was a good sport about it, but I was pretty embarrassed.
RunOverByMercedes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My father passed on new years this year and this would've made both him and I laugh. Trust me, it's not the worst thing she heard in that time
PlasticGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed out loud. Good lord.
HenryVierre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I was her I honestly wouldn't have minded that at all. Everyone's different obviously, but it's far from the worst thing you could have said.
goy-alert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking lol
AccelerationGate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sympathy upvote
citygirl44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if you had said that to me I probably would have started laughing uncontrollably and looked like a crazy person. Sometimes things like that are just what you need when dealing with stressful situations like that.
Acidwits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I too have a brain that rushes to provide a solution before it pauses to process social interactions.
beardedwallaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Killed him a second time
Monster-Math ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn too bad she didnt say "i want his clothes as stiff as he is."
frankie_benjamin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in car insurance, and all the worst transactions were dealing with estate transfers after someone had passed. They know it's going to be weird. They didn't mind.
AilosCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would probably go and burry myself along with the husband, this is brutal.
mycoginyourash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The only way to ever come back from that is to obliterate yourself out of existence just for the off chance your soul will enter another universe
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would have been terribly inappropriate to make a joke about her dad dyeing and it being a dry cleaners:
"Well you've come to the right place!!"
I'll get me coat
Zeruvi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd laugh my ass off but I'm a guy who sat in a cancer ward making cancer jokes with a dying family member so idk what normal is
1stLtObvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'I would suggest light since he's stiff enough as it is."
ratpride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no
MrOaiki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have found it funny, even at the time my father passed away. You donโt lose your sense of humor even when youโre sad.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have lost my shit if that happened to me, gallows humor is bliss.
b1rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At my first job in a deli as a teenager, I took a catering order from a customer who mentioned that it was the food for her fatherโs funeral/wake.
At the end, I somehow just blanked and went into autopilot and started to say the generic sign-off I was taught, before I realized it wasnโt appropriate in this situation. Itโs been years now, so I donโt remember the exact words, but it was something to the effect of โThank you for your business and I hope to see you again...for your next...uh...when you need food for...umm...special events.โ
Afterwards one of my coworkers said, โYou should have just gone all-in and said, โHope to see you when your mom dies!โโ
Golden-Sun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were going to say something like "depends on how stiff you want it"
MoroseOverdose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think that if I was the customer in that situation that I would have laughed my ass off
NegroConFuego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ho. Lee. Shit. A+
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WHY DO YOU DUSCRIMINATE AGAINST ZOMBIES?!!!!
Bresdin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This would make me laugh my ass off if you did this, my dad would laugh too probably
Gstary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never ever assume
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's brilliant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like this comment.
Mlike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your humor is as dry as the clothes you worked on
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And my clothing folds were almost as sharp as my tongue!
IamAJediMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How DARE you assume he wonโt be moving around much! What if she is a witch and plans to resurrect him for some kind of fucked up tea party? As a mother, Iโm offended.
Amysea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:26:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
iron the suit he was buried in.
Seriously thought she dug him up to have the suit ironed for a few seconds
Amysea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also, idk why that didn't quote. Apparently can't Reddit tonight
ADarkTwist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:07:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, if he was buried in the suit how does she have it?
Edit: Ah, edited and downvoted. Very nice.
greffedufois ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If he was buried in it how would she have it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would be*
greffedufois ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. I'm still smiling at the joke, I worked in a morgue and this is exactly the kind of dark humor we used there.
Guru_gasp4r ยท 7342 points ยท Posted at 22:33:03 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While working in a deli, a customer asked to try the Polish ham. She said she didn't care for it and would take some black forest ham. "Ah, once again the Germans triumph over the Polish." Turns out she was Polish. Oops.
EpicAura99 ยท 2279 points ยท Posted at 00:54:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something I would do. I would probably say something worse like "Blitzed again!" though.
RIPDistrict12 ยท 854 points ยท Posted at 01:38:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did the Germans take over Poland so quickly?
They marched in backwards so the Poles thought they were leaving.
GrifterDingo ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 04:50:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you hear about the Polish terrorist they sent to blow up a car?
Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
RobotBabyBomb ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 06:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why do so many polish surnames end in โskiโ?
Because toboggan is too hard to spell
AonSwift ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:44:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mantis -ski just doesn't work as well...
Dexaan ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 14:06:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you hear Poland just bought 10,000 septic tanks? As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they're going to invade Russia.
angelbelle ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:55:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't aware that there was so many jokes made at the expense of the Poles. Are these translated from other languages?
Gimmil_walruslord ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:05:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a popular American pass-time, especially in the Chicago land area where they're a large community and many new arrivals work cheap with questionable quality work often inline with ghetto rigging.
Ty0005 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 02:50:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
MY great uncle used to tell me tons of Pollock jokes when o went visit him. This one reminded me of him
crimsontideftw24 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 04:34:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something is fishy about this spelling. I honestly donโt know the right way to spell it I just wanted to make the pun. Polack? Polak?
Sirwootalot ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 05:06:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the way to spell the American slur; Polak is the original Polish word and just means "Polish person" (Polakรณw, if plural).
Most Poles are baffled and a bit amused by Pollock jokes. Most Polish-Americans will beat your ass for them.
wichtel-goes-kerbal ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Polacy is the root (nominative) plural. Polakรณw is the genitive plural.
Also I agree on the baffling and a bit amused.
ziburinis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:01:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've never seen Pollock or Pollack used as the spelling for the slur. I've only seen Polak and I grew up in Chicago. It's not even pronounced the way Polak is.
Sirwootalot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's usually "Pollock" where I grew up in Minnesota, as well as in California .(pronounced just like "Polak" is in Polish)
dalzmc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:55:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
fishy
damnit
Ty0005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm honestly not sure, I was just spelling it the way I thought Iโd sounded.
RIPDistrict12 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 02:53:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your welcome. A couple friends of mine once binge-read Polish jokes for an hour. The two times someone has mentioned they are Polish around us we have had to commit facial suicide.
Although, do you know how many Polish jokes there actually are?
Two.
The rest are true.
eNonsense ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:36:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Chicago and work with several Polish guys. Give me your best ones.
SpeaksToWeasels ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:06:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do you get a one arm Pollack out of a tree?
Wave to him
What was he doing up there?
Raking leaves
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:08:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If they're immigrants back from the Eastern Bloc days, they might appreciate these:
Deleriant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:18:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get the second one, Actually to be honest, I don't understand the whole concept of Polish jokes. I would understand if I heard them coming from Europeans, but like why are there so many? There's enough to have their own genre of jokes. It would make sense if we were European, but I've only read them on sites that have a primarily English speaking audience (reddit obviously being the main one), or from non-Europeans. I just don't get it. Maybe i'm just bad at jokes?
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:40:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The joke for the second one is that Jaruzelski was an incredibly unpopular leader, so the only way for the people to be at his back (I.e. supporting him) is if they were literally behind him.
As for th popularity of Polish jokes, I assume it's because most Americans have German ancestry.
ancientcreature2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're Polish.
Deleriant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
YOUR MUM IS POLISH!
EverydayImSlytherin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:16:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In Germany we make jokes about people from Poland being thieves.
"What does a Polish kid get for his birthday? Your bike"
"Why is it a bad idea to hit a bike with your car in Poland? Because you don't know if the bike is yours"
zerogee616 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those are both usually black jokes in the US, especially when they involve bikes.
cptYossarian123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:21 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its cool. We made jokes about German being murders.
EverydayImSlytherin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:22 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good to know
SonofKeth ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:30:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take any dumb blonde joke and replace "blonde" with "pole/Pollack"
rnykal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
is this one of the two?
mirmoolade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:40:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know the basic history of WWII but I assume there's more to this joke, please help
MonaganX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:10:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's tons of jokes around the world in which a certain group of people is depicted as very stupid. Another variant you may be more familiar with is the "dumb Blonde" joke, but almost every culture seems to have some variation - the French like to call the Swiss slow, Germans like to make jokes about how stupid East Frisians are, the English claim the Irish are thick, Indians make fun of Sikhs, etc. It doesn't even have to relate to ethnicity or gender - there was a somewhat popular variant of this kind of Joke in Germany specifically targeted at drivers of a particular type of car.
EpicAura99 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:12:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poles are dumb
[deleted] ยท -13 points ยท Posted at 16:18:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Shreddy_Brewski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:41 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez guy.
elloman13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:27 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So poles are not thiefs and criminals that should have been gassed? They are just dumb?
CritterTeacher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure thatโs all there is to it, unless Iโm missing something too.
mjxii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:51:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OrCurrentResident ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They bombed the power plant so the Poles were all stuck on escalators.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I am dead
hyacinth_girl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They just put the Panzers into neutral and rolled into Belgium. And then they rolled into France.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Weird,we just saw them leaving but somehow seems like there's more of them than before!
PutTangInAMall ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:01:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's gonna holo-cost you about $2 more per pound!
Spire2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Blitzed again!" My chest๐ญ
RobotBabyBomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIโm a real nazi when it comes to making this sausage right.โ
Taliel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah deli meats... talk about Battle of the Bulge!
blakester731 ยท 151 points ยท Posted at 00:49:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha. I don't care, I like it.
Horkrux ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 06:29:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is something I (polish parents) or my parents would certainly laugh about.
A whole other deal are some salesman here in germany.
One car salesman told my parents "don't worry the security system is amazing, no polish idiot will step near it"
Another told me on (calling about the electricity contract for my grandma) "and don't worry, if your grandmother has to move before 2 years (contract was 2 years minimum) and proves it she can get out of it sooner and not pay the electricity of those polish guys who move in after her" the way he emphasized "polish" was as if he was talking about trash.
Both times me and my parents just sorta stand there stunned and just left/hung up.
baqarah ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that was hilarious.
Source: am Polish.
VirtuosoX ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that was Polish. Source: Am hilarious.
tmofee ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:02:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
DONT MENTION THE WAR!
12muffinslater ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:02:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it"
obh36 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:49:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This just reminds me of something Mark Corrigan would say
lNTERLINKED ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:37:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Instantly thought of Peep show.
Thenuclearhamster ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:06:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Y I K E S
CarvenOakRib ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:20:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im half Polish and half German, I laughed so hard I broke my forehead on a cabinet.
Sinius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:30:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a business story but I was playing GW2 while talking to the guy who introduced me to the game. I joked how the norn were anti-Semitic for, essentially, hunting down the followers of another "god" (even though said followers are effectively evil) without really knowing what anti-Semitic meant.
He questioned my remark upon which I google it and found out it meant prejudice against Jewish people. Woops. So, trying to be funny I go and compare the Sons of Svanir to jews, saying they have the beards and the money.
After the guy told me my description of jews came from nazi propaganda and told me I was being anti-Semitic for making that regard, I went "Yeah... I'm a norn!" like some sort of twat...
Turns out the guy I was talking to is an ethnic jew.
Cysioland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am Polish. It made me chuckle.
ziburinis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it were Krakus ham, that stuff is awesome. I miss the delis from my hometown. I don't want to buy a whole can of it, which is the only way I can get it here.
LasagneLifestyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:46:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
when i worked retail a few years ago my supervisor was a pretty stern guy but enjoyed a laugh.
he was trying to get promoted and was being extra aggressive with delegating work
so i turn to him and say "theres no need to be a mini hitler"
to which he replies "im polish."
we both laughed it off but boy do i feel your pain
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Polish and would've laughed my ass off.
CallsignRagnarok ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:03:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If she got butthurt over that thatโs really stupid
Elphaba78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the one that cracked me up the most! (Am of Polish and German descent and am a huge WWII buff.)
Saleen147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunate circumstances because this is fantastic
lioninn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whoever you are, I love you lmao
not-quite-a-nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:51:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did she take that?
D-Morgendorffer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
crying over here. stay gold, pony-boy
starlinguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:16:39 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Polish people I know would have laughed their heads off.
crystalistwo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On the upside, that joke would have been lost to most people who are not Polish.
danceswithwool ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:52:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think the average person knows that Germany did a smash and grab on Poland.
Incredible_Mandible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm half Polish (grandfather and grandmother were 1st generation Polish immigrants) and I think this shit is hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:00:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This would seriously trigger my parents hahah.
dubleon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't mention the war! Nobody is probably gonna get that reference and just think I'm strange.
[deleted] ยท -43 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FluffyPhoenix ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:46:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is so unoriginal that it hurt.
Edit: It said, "I did Nazi this coming."
thatchickenwasgood ยท 11615 points ยท Posted at 21:20:00 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Served a customer a salad and was called back almost immediately to the table, there was a cockroach in the salad (it was grossssss!). I stupidly said, "you didn't order that did you?!"
Ionlypost1ce ยท 2718 points ยท Posted at 02:34:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You regret having said that? I'd definitely understand regretting serving the roach salad...but that's a great joke.
Killington301 ยท 949 points ยท Posted at 06:05:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of an amazing but inappropriate joke that my wife made to one of her instructors in community college.
She had a horrible class with a way too snooty instructor that taught his class very early and was constantly off topic. One day she fell asleep during his lecture while in the front row. This wouldn't have been that bad but she also had to talk to him afterward about something.
She talks to him after class and he remarks "Did you enjoy your nap?" and she responds "No. There was someone talking the entire time."
He didn't laugh, but when I heard the story, I did. Still think it is hilarious.
killercobra337 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 07:06:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's good comedy, that prof didnt have a good sense of humor!
Locuxify ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:59:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
he got rekt
fadecomic ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a prof. I would've high fived you with 80s style freeze-frame for that one.
Constablegarden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:24:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My sides. That's brutal and funny
PlasticRuester ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:50:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years of serving experience tell me that would go over with some people, not with others. Some people lose their minds over a ruined meal so making light of it infuriates them. And as far as foreign objects in my food, roaches would be pretty high on the ick factor.
Xuvial ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:26:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the ruined meal as much as the thought of having accidentally eaten a cockroach. Just reading this gave me the shudders and made about 0.001% more paranoid about eating outside.
Mochiko_Ferret ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:33:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only 0.001%?
Xuvial ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well...ultimately in the food industry we're placing our faith in people handling our food well, and I'm sure that 99.999% of them do. Otherwise we'd be seeing a shit-ton more food-poisoning cases.
But how does a cockroach make it into a salad without anyone noticing? At which part of the salad-making process did it appear? How clean was that kitchen?? Argh, I'm going crazy thinking about it.
blong36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some restaurants get prepackaged lettuce that's already supposed to have been washedโ it's supposed to be ready to serve. Sometimes those bugs are in that salad avg nobody notices because the colors are similar.
necropants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well it could have been hiding in the middle of a head of lettuce and thrown in the bowl as they ripped out a few pieces.
PlasticRuester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:33:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To clarify- I agree. Iโve worked in different locations of the same chain steakhouse for 14 years and I have never seen a roach in the restaurant, let alone in peopleโs food. What I meant is, some people will lose their shit if you put the wrong topping on their baked potato. You really have to walk a fine line with joking around when there is a fuck up, no way in hell would I make that joke about a roach in their food.
AcceptablePariahdom ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:04:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know, used to be I would think it was utterly preposterous that someone would somehow end up with a roach in their salad that actually managed to make it all the way to table...
Then I made the mistake if reading that "health inspector" thread awhile back.
Have since stopped eating Chinese food from anywhere but Panda Express (you literally see their freezers, and cooking area), and am no longer naive in regards to roach likelihood...
glepemb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:13:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I will regret this but do you have a link?
Lorilyn420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I missed that thread. Off down that rabbit hole.
The_Mighty_Bear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would appreciate the joke, but at the same time if the server is that casual about a roach in the food, bugs around the workplace is probably fairly common. I'd be a bit concerned.
MissaFrog ยท 3712 points ยท Posted at 21:40:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of an indecent when I was taking classes to be a medical assistant. One of the students got Chinese for lunch from a place around the corner, and it had a roach in it. (I had a much worse experience involving "rice" that was mostly maggots, but I digress.)
She called the restaurant to complain and they asked her what kind of bug it was. The girl was livid and shouted at them, "What kind of bug is on special?!"
Cracks me up every time I think of it.
[deleted] ยท 1356 points ยท Posted at 00:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Rancor_Emperor ยท 727 points ยท Posted at 01:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like some basketti?
Catleesi87 ยท 360 points ยท Posted at 03:43:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do you like your worms?
...youโre eating worms.
...take a look at your plate.
3percentinvisible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, don't tell me, I'll place it in a minute
catfishfighter ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is... this a twits reference?
tradal ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 05:19:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ITs a movie about vampires sharing a house in New Zealand. Fucking hilarious movie.
leopheard ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:43:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's also kinda pretty much the Keifer Sutherland dialogue in The Lost Boys...
MICHAEL
MICHAEL
MICHAEL
Ai_of_Vanity ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:45:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're eating maggots!
revanisthesith ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 05:24:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's from What We Do In The Shadows. It's definitely worth a watch. I thought it was funny.
FallingToward-TheSky ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:37:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dude this has been on my must watch FOREVER. Totally getting it now!
Catleesi87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:53:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You will have no regrets
GrandMoffAtreides ยท 95 points ยท Posted at 03:29:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being a vampire is shit. Don't believe the hype.
Pako21green ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being a vampire sucks.
GreatArkleseizure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it really bites.
Agent1108 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYouโre eating worms. It doesnโt work on chips.โ Ha such a good movie!
Rancor_Emperor ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:03:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"We stole that idea from The Lost Boys, but I put a nice twist on it"
SimonCallahan ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:29:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your penis is now snake...
szeto326 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:09:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Weโre werewolves, not swear wolves.
squonkstock ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:54:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought they were saying biscotti...
Phreakhead ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:09:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke. He can't even say it right
squonkstock ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:51:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I know, one of the characters (I forget his name) says "I thought they were saying biscotti" in reference to the vampires saying "bisketti"
Schubert79 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:30:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โWhatโs that smell?โ
โ...barbecueโ
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not now, Kevin.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
god damn italians suck ๐๐๐
TranquilBurrito ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Since youโre getting downvotes Iโm just gonna go ahead and let you know itโs a reference to โWhat We Do in the Shadows.โ Itโs a fantastic movie.
Zukukuzu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this last weekend. So good.
randybowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mom's basketti
pascettti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
pascetti
MissaFrog ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 00:44:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty well. We killed the head vampire. It was an interesting summer.
fbibmacklin ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:52:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the Frog brothers. Those were the days, yeah?
LordoftheSynth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One thing I never could stomach about living in Santa Carla.
Mojothewonderdog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:22:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?
Genuine55 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mmm... protein!
AerThreepwood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:54:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That and Near Dark are probably my favorite vampire movies.
And What We Do In The Shadows.
MD-Smith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:26:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whatโs the name of the movie OC is referencing to?
AerThreepwood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lost Boys.
Makemewantitbad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That explains why it all ran to one side when I put the salt in
Aimismyname ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I linked rice and vampires with Anne Rice
krissy2287 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:44:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Michael
mamacrocker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:32:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Indecent" indeed.
MissaFrog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:32:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn. Oh well.
Woodewose ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:42:46 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tell us about your maggoty rice!
MissaFrog ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 23:54:45 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, hubby and I picked up takeout and came home to watch a movie. I happened to look down at my fork and noticed that my rice seemed to have something wrong with it.
It didn't take long to realize I was looking at a maggot. At this point I still had "food" in my mouth so I quickly spit that out. I would say that 35% or so of the "rice" was maggots. And they were alive.
Nothing came of it. We didn't raise a stink about it. We are much more discerning of where we get food now though. I'm all for bugs as protein, but if I don't order them they shouldn't be in my food.
TotallyHumanPerson ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:15:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
By the time something is infested with maggots, it's going to smell like hot garbage. How did you not notice that first?
MissaFrog ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 01:18:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually think something else attracted them and they happenedโ to get into the rice.
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:26:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Arenโt maggots just baby flies or something? As in, no legs to move around with? Basically Iโm asking wouldnโt they have been born in the rice? After it was cooked and kept in a hot plate or something?
MissaFrog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:29:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doubtful that they would just be in the rice. As previously pointed out, there should have been some type of smell. I think they probably had a huge amount of fried rice sitting there, pre-made. Also, maggots can move pretty well, and have been known to move clothes and body parts on cadavers.
owlrecluse ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:48:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it was old rice, it happens. I think its moths, not flies, who just needed a dry space to lay eggs. Its happened to me before. I noticed before they got close to my mouth though.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:58:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happens often with rice for some reason. I guess they can eat the rice but it doesn't decompose since it's dry? And they look similar so people are less likely to notice the maggots mixed in with their rice? Who knows.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:13:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't maggots killed when rice is cooked?
Rice is frequently infested by moth larvae, they get killed during the cooking process and are completely harmless. You have probably eaten them without knowing lots of times.
But living maggots in rice? That's a whole different level of disgusting.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:55:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why they would be alive in the cooked rice. But the thought of having eaten larvae makes me wanna vom
MissaFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know how but we didn't notice anything off about it. Maybe a bit of smell, but nothing to really cause us to notice.
relachesis ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:08:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had this happen with oatmeal. Twice.
The first time I had already eaten a decent amount. The second time I knew before I opened the container that it had turned maggot-y, because when I picked the container up it... squished.
I don't eat oatmeal anymore.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:06:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MissaFrog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to my world lol
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:11:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was the rice not cooked? Or did they serve cooked rice so old that it had maggots? That restaurant should be demolished, jeez.
rnykal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
did you actually eat any of the food before noticing?
MissaFrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:34:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About a quarter of it, yeah.
Adolph_Fitler ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:44:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not buying that.
MissaFrog ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As in not buying the food or the story?
Adolph_Fitler ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 01:50:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you choose
MrMeesee ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:59:59 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
NO THANK YOU
jader88 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:30:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Devil's advocate, they may have been asking what bug, to pass along that information to the exterminator so they knew what kind of pesticide to use.
MissaFrog ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:33:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True, but I always found it funny.
Redebo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, totally. Chinese take out places are widely known for their specificity when it comes to proper pesticide usage. Legend has it that it stems from their Buddhist roots.
pants_party ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:40:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve recently lost my eyesight, and this is one of my biggest fears. Who knows what Iโll end up eating without knowing it?!
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ignorance is bliss though
pants_party ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:48:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, only until you bite into something crunchy - that shouldnโt be crunchy.
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:26:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or you feel things moving that shouldn't be moving...
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
distressed "Babe, what kind of cereal did we get the other day?"
Casual "Honey Bunches of Maggots"
Relieved "Oh, okay"
jrm2007 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:34:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is an "indecent" sort of like an "antidote?"
MissaFrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:38:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was supposed to say incident. I just fail.
jrm2007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:59:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Understood. Sometimes people say "antidote" instead "anecdote" -- your misuse of a similar sounding word was like this although I have never seen this specific thing before.
MissaFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was an English major, but spelling has never really been my strongest skill. Leaving the mistake up for posterity's sake.
jrm2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it was not a misspelling, exactly.
MissaFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think I had typed it so wrong my computer made it another word.
jrm2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:44:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
right. a really good spell checker would understand context.
sonofaresiii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i'm kind of curious whether this is somehow an autocorrect mistake or your brain mentally switched those two words when you were typing
MissaFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't really paying attention to that I was typing. Lol Trying to multitask.
Mediocretes1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Chinese place with my roommate and a friend when I was a student and got a bug in my food. They brought me new food and it had a hair in it. They said "we won't charge you" I said "no shit".
throwawayplsremember ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That Chinese place is a plot to give more business to your workplace
jokes aside stop going there lol
Last_Years_Man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I always imagine the possible horrors of realizing the rice in my chinese/halal take-out tray was actually dead fried maggots. Appreciate this. lol
lacywing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean to be fair, what kind of bug is important information for the restaurant.
sanna43 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:35:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once served a drink at a bar, and there was a small roach in it. I took it back to the bar, and calmly told the bartender "There's a roach in my drink". She didn't look at me or answer, but kept her head down, took the glass, and made me a another drink. I think she was afraid to look up. Made me giggle just the same.
Keyra13 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:13:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you meant incident? Also my sympathies for both of you. Blargh
Trap_Luvr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:31:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's that urge from deep inside? The need to hurl can't be denied. That isn't rice, that's maggots you're eating!
Larva, larva, larvEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE**
PepperDemSquad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Want to hear the maggot rice story now
_DrShrimpPuertoRico_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They sure were indecent.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MissaFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
....... It was fried rice. Who eats raw rice?
Talory09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
incident. It reminds you of an incident.
MissaFrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:15:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I fucked it up.
emosy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that wasn't that indecent
jaubuchon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was chopstix in Milwaukee wasn't it
MissaFrog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:35:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, but now I know where not to go if I head up to Milwaukee.
jaubuchon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:42:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao
2KilAMoknbrd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:32:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't have mythpelled that with out trying.
never___nude ยท 702 points ยท Posted at 02:08:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I delivered a fly unknowingly in a salad once and when the guy pointed it out, I casually said โthought you could use the extra proteinโ and pretended to just keep going. When I turned around and came back we both laughed like hell and I got him fries instead.
youtheotube2 ยท 69 points ยท Posted at 04:20:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That only works with some people.
Super_Vegeta ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 04:35:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After working in customer service for a while you learn how to tell when "some people' is.
soothinglyderanged ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:53:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long term exposure to Customer Service can lead to difficulty forming coherent thoughts, trouble completing simple tasks, and a general disregard for wanting to live. Consult your doctor if you experience these or any other unexpected side effects.
deftly_lefty ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 05:04:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't afford a doctor, I work Customer Service.
Super_Vegeta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was quoting him so it still grammatically makes sense.
never___nude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:32:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Isnโt that the truth!
Cedira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's when there's more than one of them (โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
hayrenae ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:42:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oooh funny if said right haha
sanna43 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:37:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to say this when we were kids and would find a bug in our milk. It was either, "He won't eat much", or "You could use a little more protein". I always figured it was an army thing.
aard_fi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:00:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always using this, and I never came near an army.
ONLYPOSTSWHILESTONED ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:38:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did he take the fly as a sign?
"Well I was trying to be healthy but obviously God wills otherwise."
lilpastababy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My friend Hannah (that's actually her name. Was going to backspace it but thought, eh, what the hell) was serving some douche a mocha and a fly landed in the whipped cream. When he wasn't looking, she just put chocolate drizzle on it and handed it to him.
RoMoon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You delivered a fly? Not many midwives for insects these days, nice to see its not a lost art
HenryVierre ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:57:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was a vegan you shit.
sk8r2000 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:25:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Don't talk too loudly, everybody will want one"
squeezyyy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bahahah I saw a review on Yelp for a TGIF where the girl ordered a martini at the bar and found an ant in her cup. When she pointed it out to the bartender he decided to be a smartass and told her he didn't charge her extra for it lmaooo
csonny2 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:21:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I found a hair in my salad!"
"Well, there aren't any prizes or anything"
stevodog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:28:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did the customer react?
thatchickenwasgood ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:11:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I forgot to mention that the customer was very pregnant as well. She was repulsed, to say the least.
Prof_Lava-Hot ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:43:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would laugh if I was that customer.
Nerdican ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:42:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I had been your customer, I would have laughed.
british_bloke89 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:06:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when I went so Sizzler (for the unaware, in Australia Sizzler is/was a buffet restaurant, known for it's signature cheese toast, and terrible hygiene) for a friends dinner party in HS.
I quietly mentioned to a staff member that there was a cockroach in the salad bar. to which they replied:
I just walked away.... That place is closed now...
Ginger-F ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:31:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Basil Fawlty?
Johnvonhein1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, if they didn't laugh, it's their own fault. Airplane/Naked Gun deadpan style humor absolutely belongs in real life when it fits.
ColdHeartedSleuth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, you ordered a cockroach with some vegetables on the side"
TalisFletcher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but how was the chicken?
thatchickenwasgood ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:10:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was good.
MannekenP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Followed by "I'm sorry, but there is an extra charge of 50 cents for that topping".
The_Grubby_One ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Uh, yeah. That's the kind of shit that gets your restaurant closed down by the health department.
spinner198 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do you walk a salad over to a customer without realizing there is a friggen cockroach inside?
nfsnobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โDonโt say it too loud, everyone will want oneโ.
chownowbowwow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take it away and say the cockroach was extra
SteamPoweredAshley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know, Iโm convinced you could have played that off just fine, as long as you said it right.
Jewsafrewski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For what it's worth I'd've thought that remark was hilarious
DrynTheGanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol nah, you're fine, that's hilarious.
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see the issue here, it could be played off as a way to try and lighten the mood
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude this would be the perfect thing to say in that situation.
Ahy_Jay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you sound like that French rude waiter now
LaggyMcStab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have laughed at that if I were the customer! Then I would have left pretty quickly
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude wtf...why the fuck do you work there
Slumber_Knight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't give a shit who you are that was funny
Bromlife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would get a refund for my meal and never come back again. That is an unforgivable mistake for a restaurant to make.
amazingoomoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is an amazing line and would really improve the mood I think. It would make me laugh even if I had a roach salad sat in front of me.
911porsche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cockroach? That will be extra!
jesonnier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a good line for service industry folk. 9 times out of 10, a line such as that, will diffuse the shit out of an awkward situation.
Ofbearsandmen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer, I would have loved your reaction. It's very funny.
livemau5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's fucking hilarious. Don't understand why you would regret saying that.
Mac4491 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's hilarious. I'd probably laugh as the customer.
I_poop_in_10_seconds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"sorry that was next table's order"
The_Left_One ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i actually had a bug in my tables salad on saturday they handled it very well and didnt even expect for the bill to be adjusted but i stupidly said to them "Oh, thats fucking gross" in front of their kids who they were trying to hide the bug from cause the kids already ate the salad and they didnt want them freaking out.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After apologizing, etc... turn it into a joke. "Here's your new salad. I told the cook to hold the bugs"
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That'd be a good line in a monty python sketch.
Northcliff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's excellent ๐คฃ
UnclaimedUnderpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:42:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have given you a better tip.
AaaawShitBuddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:23:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
With the right tone, that could make them laugh and clear the air.
ImJustSomeDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one!
DrizzlyEarth175 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's not even that bad. Just a lighthearted joke to make them laugh about this gross thing that happened. Tf
LampGrass ยท 1003 points ยท Posted at 00:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working in a library, and a couple (they're like 50 years old) comes in. You know the type, they're teasing each other. He says something to me like "Well, we're only here for her, 'cause I can't even read!" with a big grin.
So, you know, I thought he was joking.
Found out after making my own joke to him later that, nope, he wasn't. He was actually illiterate and I had made fun of him for it.
jentrxm ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 06:02:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate when they say something and they totally make it sound like a joke, but it isn't.
I was working in a doctor's office and one of my duties was administering vaccines (to adults, usually for overseas travel).
With our travelers we'd load them up with like 4 shots at once, and we'd make them stay for 15 minutes to make sure they didn't have any sudden onset reactions.
We'd swing by their room every 3 to 4 minutes and see how they were doing.
On one of my checks I asked this guy how he was doing and he gave me a smile, a little laugh, and said "Oh I'm totally about to pass out." It 100% sounded like a joke, which a lot of patients made.
I laughed as well and told him I'd be back shortly.
Motherfucker was actually about to pass out. Which he then did. I found him unconscious on our damn floor.
duskapproaches ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:28:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a sketch lol
Deleriant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:29 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Full blown AIDS.
Djak345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:21 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve noticed this too! I used to work a drive thru and someone came back, ordered a drink, and came up to the window. He was a regular and I said โoh you again?โ He pays me for the drink and says โI actually ordered this but I got this. Can I get a free sandwich?โ I thought it was a joke that he was trying to jokingly finesse a sandwich.
Nope, homie really got the wrong sandwich.
Steven_carson1 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:01:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is by far the worst Iโve read
HerrdingerJerr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one made me cringe the hardest
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:51:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
KiltedLady ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:54:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of reasons people are illiterate. Most of them aren't due to a willful decision and should make us feel some pity.
RainbowWolfie ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:07:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.. Alzheimers / Dementia / Trauma-related dyslexia exists... I could go on but hopefully you see my point, people aren't illiterate by choice.
Bforsocks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fyi Alzheimer's is a form of dementia.
RainbowWolfie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, TIL.
Bforsocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, so is parkinsons, lewy bodies, and other things such as. All under the shit umbrella of dementia.
LemonJongie23 ยท -41 points ยท Posted at 05:05:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People downvoting you when you are incredibly right
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:56:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except they're not. Ignorance isn't the only reason people are unable to read.
[deleted] ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:18:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's stupid of you to say the only reason someone is illiterate is because they choose not to learn it.
Weird how you reply to the one comment supporting you, and not the other ones criticizing you. Gotta keep in your little bubble huh?
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:18:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pulpaintfiction ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:21:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No u
Ianskull ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:59:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, you should make fun of illiterate people
[deleted] ยท 11800 points ยท Posted at 00:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After the standard customer bitch fest, ending with "And I am never shopping here again!" I gave her a smile and said, "Thank you, we sure would appreciate that." She stood there with her mouth open while I moved on to the next customer.
libwitch ยท 3523 points ยท Posted at 01:15:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was one of our standards at a store I worked at. "I am never shopping here again!"
Thank you so much! Have a great day!
...No, really take you PITA out of here right now!
Jamie_Suzanne ยท 2071 points ยท Posted at 03:23:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was pretty common for us to get complaints when I worked in retail of the "I'll ruin your reputation / never shopping here again / calling the news, writing my congressman, etc."
My canned response was "Uh-huh, see you next week." Because 90% of the time we did.
speropolis ยท 809 points ยท Posted at 04:14:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same. I had a guy yelling and screaming because we charged him $3 extra each time because he kept ordering double vodka cocktails. Leaves in a huge huff yelling that he's never coming back and telling his friends to do the same. Guess who was back the next night with a different group of friends?
complimentarianist ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who would ever think that you'd charge me extra for extra alcohol???? wtf! I'm SO angry-faced at you! grrrrrr! >|
Justsomedudeonthenet ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 05:07:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's the one trick bartenders hate! Just buy a quadruple shot and get 4 drinks for the price of one.
techied ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:11:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bartenders hate this secret trick. Click now!!!1!11!!
michelle032499 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:31:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Note: am bartender
FierceDeity_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:10:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Charge for the extra shot, of course. But some clubs' charges for extra shots are kind of ridiculous. When the extra shot is more than half the price of the entire cocktail, I would be mildly annoyed by the pricing structure at least. If it's not written anywhere, doubly so. Seen all of that.
If it's written somewhere I can only blame myself for paying it
AbsolutShite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:37:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the country I'd guess.
You can get a decent cocktail in Dublin for โฌ10-12. A measure of bottom shelf spirits is at least โฌ4.50 ( and there are strict laws on pricing for alcohol) so I'd expect to have to pay at least that to add in anything extra.
entenkin ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:04:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How does a guy like that have two different groups of friends?
CarlosFer2201 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:29:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You didn't even charge him extra though. He asked for more, you charged him more.
diMario ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, consuming alcohol in quantities tends to have that effect on memory.
Source: uh ... what was this about again?
Leakyradio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oohhh it was the alcoholic. Am I right, it was the alcoholic, right?
pongky77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who? c'mon you can't leave us hanging
Sgt_Patman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:21:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So it sounds like his friends listened but he didnโt get the memo.
DionyKH ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 04:43:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at an ampm as a clerk. Owner told me the first day, "you take no shit from customers, I have cheapest gas in town, they'll be back"
HorsesAndAshes ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:21:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My recent favorite was "I'm going to bad-mouth you on Facebook!"
I said "Ok! Sorry about that, have a nice day!" The lady literally hung her mouth open and then stomped out of the store like a child while my cashier's tried hiding their laughs into their hands.
Spoiler alert! She didn't say anything on Facebook.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:26:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a drop-in, a guy was pissed off at me for some reason (probably had to kick him out for being drunk) and as he's yelling at me he shouts that he knows when I get off work and he'll be waiting by the doors to kick my ass.
Without thinking I just told him "kay, see you then" as I closed the door.
mirmoolade ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:31:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL imagine a congressman actually trying to do something about it
thatcrazylady ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:48:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just received a letter that told me that based on my complaint to my county supervisor, our local animal control will have someone dedicated to scheduling spay/neuter operations for animals who cannot be operated on at the time of adoption.
I just wanted to get my own issue resolved, but it seems I became a successful community activist.
GoabNZ ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:55:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll have your job for this!"
Yeah.... no you won't. We recognise that there are some troublesome customers out there who are simply unreasonable despite the best effort of the employee. We don't get in trouble simply because you complain about us
NotACockroach ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:13:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at Samsing technical support and one guy said he was going to burn 7 Samsung TVs, film it and get it on a current affair.
curiousdevice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:22:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"See You Next Tuesday!"
moneylizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now they are all going out of business... The long game.
galejandrop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello? The media?!"
Kilo_G_looked_up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
lacquerqueen ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:28:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do that on the regular on the phone. I warn them twice if they scream or swear at me, then say โ i hear you have chosen to keep screaming instead of finding a solution together, i am hanging up now, have a nice day.โ
(Company policy is you warn them and can then hang up)
aescula ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always get those and I never really respond to it with little more than the silence I usually give to complaints. Though I'm never threatened by having to deal with one less asshole.
TheKinkMaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:51:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get this all the time in retail pharmacy. Today I had a guy get mad cause he didnโt have his power of attourney papers for his wife, which he legally needs to get her prescription history where I work, and he was like โfine Iโll just go to another pharmacy.โ Okay? They wonโt have her history there, and even if they did theyโd still need the same proof we do.
gumgum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah then there are customers like me who not only do NOT EVER go back, but truly do inform everyone I know that the service at that store sucks.
There are stores I have not stepped foot in in years.
emosy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:47 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
which ones? you didn't tell us so you kinda contradicted yourself just there...
gumgum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Completely irrelevant to the US as I am not in the US. You wouldn't know which stores I am referring to.
And how I am contradicting myself is beyond me. Clearly your grasp of grammar and construction far exceeds mine.
TalisFletcher ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:13:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You sell pita bread? Yum.
MadnessEvolved ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:53:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the pizza shop I first worked out I had some really awesome managers. They were of the mindset of preferring to have less customers than have the really shitty ones.
We had a pretty decent black list at our store which got circulated to nearby stores if they were bad enough and through State and competitor stores sometimes. Really respected them for actually standing up for their staff, though it's an experience I've only had at one other place in the 14 years since.
ThatHorrorjunkie666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:59 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol
UsErNaMe-NoT_TaKeN ยท 707 points ยท Posted at 02:47:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a supermarket and some lady told me โI am never shopping here againโ and I kind of laughed because I thought it was a joke, like how do you not go food shopping again? She was not happy.
ButPooComesFromThere ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 04:40:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sits in her small apartment and bitterly starves
Drink-my-koolaid ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:41:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
then logs on to Amazon and gets groceries delivered to her door
Ferro_Giconi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope she's willing to quadruple her food budget. All I ever see for delivery of grocery items on amazon is the expensive stuff, like $8 gallons of milk.
LowSkyCreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. 2.79 a gallon.
Ferro_Giconi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's cheaper than milk is just buying it at the store here... And you have that option for a gallon on Amazon? How cheap is the milk in stores where you live?
LowSkyCreek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:44 on April 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One gallon of whole, white, store brand milk is $2.39 at Kroger. Just checked the website.
BH_Quicksilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:02 on April 10, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Boston we have both Prime Now and Amazon Fresh. Both deliver groceries and both have most items for cheaper than the grocery stores.
Madness_Reigns ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't exist everywhere.
carterothomas ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 05:38:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an ER and a lady was super pissed at us one night. I was walking her out, seriously to make sure she didnโt assault any staff on the way out, and she yelled at me โIโM NEVER COMING BACK TO THE ER AGAIN!!!โ
I just looked right at her and said โOh! Lucky you! I hope thatโs true!โ We both knew what I meant, and both knew she could report me to my boss as much as she wanted and I could never get nailed for it.
Seiglerfone ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 04:36:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
... is there only one place to buy food where you live?
EpicBomberMan ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 04:42:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's a small town, it wouldn't surprise me if it was the only close place. Like one of my friends lives in a small town in the midwest, and there's only one grocery store in the town, otherwise it'd be like a 30-40 minute drive each way to get to the next closest.
Seiglerfone ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 05:28:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, that's fair, but do small towns usually have supermarkets in the first place?
Broken_Alethiometer ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:21:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nowadays, a lot of them do. Just one bigass supermarket that killed all the independent stores. Typically a Walmart, but in some places is a King Soopers or a Safeway or something.
guitarman565 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:05:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
UK small towner here, we have a large supermarket so it wouldn't surprise me if others did.
FierceDeity_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:12:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
German here, many small villages of like 500-1000 people have supermarkets here. Not huge ones, but still. Some don't, but any village that is connected to several other villages which don't have markets will have one.
guitarman565 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:50:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I often find in villages you'll have slightly smaller versions of the big supermarkets. Stuff like "sainsburys local" or "tesco metro"
keygreen15 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:48:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quit. You know what they mean.
Seiglerfone ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 09:40:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, I clearly don't, and telling someone not to ask questions when they don't know something makes you an ignorance-promoting asshole.
poo-poo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My town of 2000 had a local grocery store. Most of the time we would drive 20 minutes to go to the store in a bigger town.
juicebroom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up in a small Midwestern town of like 12,000 people. We had a big Walmart that all of the nearby smaller towns would do their shopping in.
UsErNaMe-NoT_TaKeN ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:43:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly no, the store is Publix, but:
Aldi and some other pharmacies donโt carry very much or carry much variety.
She was too much of a snooty rich person to go to Walmart.
Honestly, Publix tries to have the best customer service ever and if she got mad at our โcrappyโ customer service, she is not going to be pleased by anyone.
Whole Foods, Fresh Market, Farmers market, ect. is extremely expensive since its organic. There might be a possibility she shopped elsewhere, but overall she is going to spend a lot more money.
Seiglerfone ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:55:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mm, I see. I'm not familiar with Publix, personally. I guess they don't exist around here.
UsErNaMe-NoT_TaKeN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs in the southeastern US
Firate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but similar-ish. I used to work at Dunkin Donuts, and of course unhappy customers would hit us with the โIโm never coming here again!โ or โIโm going to the Dunkin down the street!โ
The owners of our building also owned nineteen other stores in the surrounding location, so good luck, youโre filling their pockets either way...
Seiglerfone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:48:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. I've always kind of loved the "I am also my competitor" strategy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some towns do only have one grocery store.
Seiglerfone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but the vast majority don't, hence the question.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good point
zdakat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Food shopping elsewhere- until the list of stores is exhausted and she drags herself back to your store and pretends it didn't happen.
UnsavoryCrocodile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you work in a small town where there's only one supermarket?
Khuntza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a Supermarket too.. I copped the never coming back spiel one day and instinctively replied with "No worries, see you tomorrow".
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Different supermarket? Switch to thieving?
Laureltess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teenager I worked at one of the three grocery stores in town. We banned a woman for being ridiculously cruel to cashiers and baggers (she made me cry). Turns out she had been banned from every other store in the area as well. She must have had to drive thirty minutes out of her way to shop somewhere that hadn't banned her yet.
[deleted] ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 06:53:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go to if a supermarket person pisses me off is to walk out without paying for my cart, but leave it there completely full. Have fun putting all that shit away.
Deveru ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:34:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's cool. I get paid hourly. lol
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:58:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Yummers78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:19:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup!!
gregarious_m ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 08:14:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand how you have a "go-to", where grocery store employees are pissing you off so often. Do you have so many issues this happens a lot?
I don't know, I go in, I find my things, interact with the cashier politely, check out and leave. If it's a persistent issue maybe you're going about it wrong.
FierceDeity_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not like stores with complete idiots don't exist. Most likely small stores though. Known one where the employees all talk behind your back, including the owner, who is one of them. I actually went there just once and silently stopped going there (without announcing it loudly first)
notgayinathreeway ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:14:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All of the refrigerated stuff left in a cart has to get thrown away, and there's usually a department that handles sorting stuff left in carts and stuff collected from being laid down by lazy customers. The store I worked for had a full cart worth of stuff from every department, daily.
But the guy who upset you had a job to do and I guarantee his job wasn't putting your stuff back.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs usually not one guy. Just a long line and not enough cashiers, even though there is usually several other people there. I donโt know what the point is in not dealing with the crowd, but I donโt care and Iโm leaving.
notgayinathreeway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's Walmart they tested heavily how long people would wait in line before being upset and made it so your wait on average is slightly under that threshold
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually Safeway. Sometimes Luckyโs. WholeFoods is always fine. Safeway is the worst.
KayleighAnn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe the problem is you.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:02:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah. Hire more staff and appropriately occupy the registers at the capacity required by demand to keep the lines down.
-I refuse to use the self checkout. Thatโs your job. -I refuse to wait in line for more then 2-3 people in front of me unless itโs really slammed.
If itโs Friday at 6 and you have 2 registers open and a line going down the aisle and 6 other jackasses doing anything but dealing with the crowd Iโm out.
KayleighAnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the problem is you.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:49:07 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe? If my problem that I expect excellent service then yes. And I like to think I make that just a little bit the stores problem when I decide to leave and go to another store.
abbyabsinthe ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 02:58:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer scream that (over the phone to my assistant manager) a few nights ago, I screamed back, "I sure as hell hope to god you keep that promise!" It's part of a much longer story involving him harrassing myself, my coworkers, and pretty much every other young girl/woman that works customer service in our town. He's banned from the store now.
GR3GS4WY3R ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:07:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Standard bar sign; "All our customers give us joy...some when arriving. ..others by leaving"
pumpyfrontbum ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 01:44:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I hate the whole "I'm never shopping here again" threat. I always wanna say "Right?...and?" Nobody is gonna beg you to come back bitch.
Kayrim_Borlan ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 03:58:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at McDonald's, whenever people said that I'd just think, "This restaurant earns more than your entire annual salary in around a week, nevermind the other three restaurants in the city, so why would anyone here give a crap about your maybe $10 a week of business? Even after a year you'd have given us less than half of what we make in a single HOUR of being open. All the company is missing out on is a slightly higher chance that they'll lose any employee, which would just be a minor inconvenience at worst"
The_Fucking_Media ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are only three McDonald's in your city? There's over 300 where I live.
Kayrim_Borlan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:44:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Three besides the one I work at, sorry my comment wasn't very clear. There's about one for every 12500 people where I live. So yeah, it's kinda nice
Lawsoffire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There is 87 in my entire country...
How the hell are there 300 in one city?
a_sonUnique ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Vatican City?
fohdoubleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know NYC has over 250, with something like 75 on Manhattan alone. What country are you from?
Lawsoffire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Denmark
A7X4REVer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
daylightsshadow ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:03:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a store once where to get a return you had to go to the specific department to get a return slip then take it to the front cash. One lady did NOT like this, she went on a huge tirade about how it was a hassle and it was her first and last time buying something in the store. Without thinking I said โWell youโve never really bought anything because you returned the item so...โ Her angry/aghast/confused face was priceless.
AlfredsStache ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:38:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady was cussing me out because we didn't have the orange juice she wanted. I apologized profusely, and told her to have a great rest of her day. She yelled. I said it again. She said, "Quit saying that!" I responded with: "Oh! I'm sorry...well, Have a great rest of your day!! Thanks for leaving!!"
SomaliRection ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:13:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A few years back, some sad excuse of a woman loudly exclaimed, "I'M NEVER SHOPPING HERE AGAIN!!!" and I immediately smiled the biggest smile I had and went, "Promise??"
bestem ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:19:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer who was always telling me that our competitor's prices for a service we offered were less than ours. I knew the competitor's prices were the same or more expensive than ours, so I'd tell him "Fine, go there next time." Unfortunately, he never did.
Dahvood ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:31:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling ipod touches back when they were super popular. I had a guy come in and try to buy one, but we had sold out. He got all worked up about it and started shouting about how he was going to sue us. I told him "Okay, have fun with that", then sidestepped a bit to make eye contact with the next customer. He just walked out, it was great.
Fuzzy-Hat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:40:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always tell the people who threaten to sue that all further communication will have to take place through are legal department and give them the number for head office. They always seem so shocked and offended.
mstarrbrannigan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:05:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a boss who once told someone "that's probably for the best" when they said that.
strikt9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:56:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Excellent, we're on the same page then
renegadecanuck ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:17:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's like something that happened to my roommate. A customer was pissed off about something (from the story, it sounded like it was fair for her to be pissed off, but she was overreacting). She then said "I've been shopping here for 15 years without issue, but I'm never coming here again!" So my roommate leaned in and said "Well, I'm very sorry that in 15 years, you've had one bad experience. Have a nice day."
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:01:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was a woman that came into work and bought a 12oz 4pk of sour ale for $15.99 and became irate after she got home and drank it all because it cost so much. She called in and complained because she thought she saw another price even though my manager explained to her why it was so costly. The process to make a sour is more difficult for a brewery and on top of that they sell it to us and we only mark it up about 15%.
So she called. I answered. She explained she wanted a refund. I told her if she brings in the 4pk I'll give her a refund and I asked for her name to verify the purchase and she said it wasn't relevant. I remembered who she was and told her she could come in when the manager was here. She told me she wanted me to do the refund now. I told her I wasn't authorized to do that over the phone. She told me she would NEVER be coming back and I should feel bad for working for a scummy company who charges outrageous prices (blame the craft beer market, it's oversaturated with variety). I tell her to have a nice day. She comes in every other day (still hot as hell) and every exchange is soured by that one conversation.
Pun intended.
FuttBucker27 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:30:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to respond by saying "bribing me isn't going to get you anything".
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:10:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Daaamn!
Reapr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:57:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm the owner of a small business and was working the till while employees were on break - customer comes in demanding some or other refund, I checked, yep, she can get a refund. And start getting everything together.
At this point I think I kinda took the wind out of her sails as she expected a fight and me agreeing readily kinda deflated her - so she went on bitching while I was counting out her money
"Because if you don't HELP me RIGHT NOW I will take this HIGHER"
That kinda made me lose count because my first instinct was to say, "Lady the only person higher is God"
Namwen420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like to smile and ask, โIs that a promise?โ
Drunkenaviator ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:56:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, I'm using this on the next passenger that tells me they're never flying my airline again.
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The only way this could've gotten meaner is if you added a "bless your heart".
MyFaultGeek ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:22:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Nooooooo! But you were my favorite customer!"
jediev90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like that was the perfect response!
CaptOblivious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolute gold.
Mathilliterate_asian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean what were you EXPECTED to say then?
"Oh please don't go we value you so much we'd go down on our knees and lick your pinky toe?"
If a customer is saying that I'd probably just open the front door. Unless you run a tiny shop, otherwise one customer wouldn't mean much, nor would the "potential customers" who wouldn't be going anyway, regardless of the comment on your shop.
dragonthemagicpuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love how customers think this is such a wounding blow. You're literally one of hundreds of customers I serve per day. You will not leave an impact that is in any way significant.
SamuraiRafiki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My boss once replied to a customer like this.
"Well I'm never coming here again!"
"That's okay, someone else will."
RayTheBear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, bye."
EXQUISITE_WIZARD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think this thread is supposed to be for "I shouldn't have said that" moments
PerfectChaos33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Kmart, had a lady say โIโm going to Walmart!โ I said โalright, have funโ
odombones94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer get mad when he found out our hot mac n' cheese came in frozen.
He walked out the door saying "I'm going to write about this in my blog."
Dude. The only thing in our store that doesn't come in frozen is chicken and the turkey. Even the soup, fish, and meatloaf come in frozen.
cayal3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even know why people say this. Do they think Joe Cashier is going to give a shit?
People do that at my work, they shit on the product and I am like "and?". It's not my product, I don't care.
danyxeleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
the hero we deserve
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I was next in line, I'd give you a high-five
hopsandhorns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:33:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one always got me when I used to work at a bank, and it was always some random lady with $213 in her checking account and nothing else, as if withdrawing this account was going to topple this bank.
Imnotyoursupervisor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Angel customer / demon customer.
It makes a lot of sense to send bad customers to your competition.
DrakeSparda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never get why people think this will mean anything in a retail environment. It is not like they are single handedly funding the place. This only works if you are like an investor in a company or some shit. Anytime a customer said that we just told them to have a nice day.
NegroConFuego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've said that to a lady who was insanely high maintenance after the new manager said I was in charge of dealing with her. The problem was that she was Indian and we worked at an Indian restaurant. Some might know why that is a HUGE no-no (they do, in fact all know each other). She came into the restaurant and REAMED my manager. He came up to me and said "Bro, what the fuck! You didn't tell me she was Indian!!"
I didn't care that much. She would insist on talking to every member of the staff every time she called to MAKE SURE the food didn't have mustard seeds in it. Nothing on the menu ever did, but she would still have delivery drivers come back to her house to pick up food, and redeliver a new order if she suspected the food had it. Different level.
lioninn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My sister once said the exact same thing
lioninn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my sister?
oddball570 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store in high school as a bagger and we had this lady that would come in at the beginning of a sale period and look for the outdated sale signs from the last period. It was store policy to give the sale price as it was employee fault the old sale tag was still up.
Well one day she comes in and the manager on duty comes and gets me. Tells me to follow her around the store and remove any outdated sales tag from items she picks up. I've never seen someone so mad as she was walking the manager around the store so she could "show him the sale tags", only to find they were not there. She followed up with the "i'm never shopping here again!" line, but was back the next week looking for her juicy sales.
rico0195 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:15:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah fuck the people that think the customer is always right and think they can bitch. Good on you for saying that.
z0mbieskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar happened when I worked in retail. It was Christmas week, so we were very busy and working 12h shifts everyday on our foot, 7 days a week. I worked 84 hours total that week. Anyways, a customer was looking for black classic vans that were basically sold out everywhere and EVERYONE was looking for them. She complained about how everything was super expensive and without thinking I just blurted: "well, that's the way things are". She got super mad, called me out and left lol.
livintheshleem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got one of those and responded with "Promise?" She scowled at me and left the store. Everyone clapped (jk nobody else heard it and I was actually pretty nervous afterwords)
gracecase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:41:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're not allowed to rent here anymore!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:08:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My boss has answered that with "I know, you're banned." We don't always see eye to eye but I love that about him.
Arelkei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
naisuu
jet_10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers do that all the time and I'm just like, good, please don't.
Then some of those customers continue to come back after a week or so thinking we forgot but they act all nice now. Some others end up only ordering delivery and having a relative order for them lol
Wreckwitness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You definitely should've said that.
INFECTEDWIFISIGNAL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
and then everyone in line stood up and clapped.
YanetJellen ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 05:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/thathappened
FuttBucker27 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:31:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nothingeverhappens
DominusMali ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:56:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This will never not be the most obnoxious response to a perfectly mundane story.
pm_cute_selfies ยท 10502 points ยท Posted at 21:01:00 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at Jimmy Johns,
When we made a drive through order, the person who wraps the sandwich would bag it, and toss it across the restaurant to the drive through person to hand it out after they took the payment.
I was the drive through person and dropped the wrapped, and bagged sandwich. Without thinking, I just picked it up, and handed it to the customer.
He goes "you're seriously going to serve me that?"
My instant reaction was to ask "Oh, you saw that?"
He was not amused.
Shakith ยท 1929 points ยท Posted at 01:44:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar working in a sandwich shop where we used paper slips to take the order on and the persons name and then rubber band the slip back to the sandwich.
One day I dropped a slip and I caught it right as it was about to hit the floor and I slapped it onto the 100% wrapped sandwich without even thinking about it and then I put it out on the counter and called her name out.
Well apparently she had seen this happen and must have thought the slip touched the floor because she ripped the slip off threw in my face and said, "I don't need that garbage on my sandwich".
I wish I could say I even said something dumb but I was honestly speechless because just seconds before I'd been so excited about my awesome save. She stalked off and I never saw her again even though she'd been a regular before that.
SalamandrAttackForce ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 04:23:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which is dumb on her part if she thought it was dirty. Better not to touch it and leave it on the wrapper
Scientolojesus ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 07:11:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I don't get why she even cared. It wasn't touching her sandwich. She sounds like a crazy person...
Andthatsafactjack ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:33:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
10 years ago i was with my friend on lunch break and went to a Subway. the sandwich artist working alone appeared to be very tired. we watched as she used my fully assembled and unwrapped sandwich as a broom to sweep the crumbs on her cutting board into the perforated hole which lead to the trash underneath the counter. she used two hands and really dug in with her fingers. i ate the sandwich.
Kigarta ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:32:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a small shop I was taught to soak up the meat juice on the cutting board with the bread when making a sandwich to give the customer more.
Andthatsafactjack ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:54:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that's the Jersey Turnpike of sandwich assembly practices.
Kigarta ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:03:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly felt that too but didn't want to argue with the owner's brother. Especially when that was the first time I had met the guy.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 06:00:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ZyxStx ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:16:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You sir are being too rational, I'm gonna have to ask you to please step outside and rethink your rational life.
Andthatsafactjack ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:13:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My thought at the time was "this meets my fast-food expectations".
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:56:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People get SO MAD at fast food employees. Subway is basically the only fast food I eat, but I used to work with people with disabilities and my crew ate a lot of fast food. Damn, the customers in those places (and Subway)...they're terrible. People forget these places aren't "restaurants". They are "This shit will satisfy your mouth but it is not really keeping you alive in a meaningful way" troughs.
Some of the fucking shit people put on their Subway sandwiches...hurk
wolves_hunt_in_packs ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:07:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ah yes... "lube it up, son!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:55:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
risky click of the day. not worth it.
help me
ed-ward
Zaza-SpiritWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked there for almost 3 years and by far the two grossest things i have seen customers order was a teriyaki chicken sandwich covered in mayo and sweet onion sauce, and a turkey sandwich with LITERALLY have a bottle pf mayo on it!
NewaccountWoo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:29:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You've never seen my friend order then.
Pepperoni meatball marinara, pickles, banana peppers, black olives, mustard, mayo, lots of ranch.
MGPythagoras ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:33:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I get fast food I expect shit. I never have complained about a meal from fast food. Its like the standards are subpar to begin with. I just expect to be let down.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't expect to be let down, but I never expect to be impressed. And mostly I expect indigestion, which is why my fast food diet begins and ends with Subway.
MGPythagoras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Subway is like the missionary of fast food.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:19:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Taco Bell = Doggystyle
McDonald's = Cowgirl
Carl's Jr = Cleveland Steamer
11415142513152119 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:03:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you were drunk weren't you.
Andthatsafactjack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:14:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you maniac! I ordered a veggie delight. it's always some sort of melty cheese/meat/bread combo when drunk, you know that! what do vegans eat before they sleep at the end of a night out or worse, when they're hungover?
Pervy-potato ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 02:38:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/theylostacustomer
HakonaTrejo ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 04:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really disappointed that's not a thing
Pervy-potato ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to click myself to make sure. Damn I fooled myself even!
PerfectHen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nonexistantsubreddits
ETA: not sure wtf I linked to.. looks like someone is linking pirated books in a comment in the only post on that sub. Lol.
CedarWolf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's just a spam bot. They crawl and find small, abandoned subreddits and post their crap, knowing there's no one to notice or remove the spam. It's exactly like an old, unused room acquiring dust and cobwebs over time.
zdakat ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:15:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A regular actually stopped coming? It's a miracle
BraveStrategy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:36:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well itโs all about perception, weโre already a bit suspicious of cheap food but if we see something careless right in front of us it might push us over the edge.
fa7hom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:44:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People are germaphobes. Why would I care if a price of paper that goes on the outside of my wrapped sandwich touches the ground
headchefdaniel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:28:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Still, a good save my man.
KathMeOusside ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy John's, Peachtree Industrial? I'm pretry sure I witnessed this! Haven't worked there in years, and now I want JJ again.
Kigarta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:31:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Going to assume the sandwich is wrapped simply because rubber is not a good taste and a paper receipt, floor touched or not, doesn't sound like much of a problem.
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:28:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was in line at Starbucks once. Lady in front of me orders some stupidly difficult drink. The barista grabbed a cup off the top, looked in it, turned it over the sink, then started to go make the drink.
The lady gets pissed. "What was that?"
Barista: "Oh, there was a drop of water in the cup."
Customer: "MAKE ME ANOTHER DRINK."
Barista calmly sets the cup down and makes another. In front of the rude customer lady I said, "I'll take that. It's only water and you guys probably have to inventory your cups."
The look on the barista's face was perfect. A mixture of relief and appreciation.
Magicfett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:50:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have faked an eye injury got the rest of the day off and then sued her for assault.
lilpastababy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:20:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That, is what we call, a C U Next Tuesday
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oof
goketchumall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ppl are such assholes sometimes! Jeez
Biofreak42069 ยท 785 points ยท Posted at 21:14:12 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Freaky fast reaction time, too.
metyuadem ยท 3322 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In your defense, it was wrapped and bagged. That dude needs a spine.
MollyRocket ยท 1735 points ยท Posted at 01:12:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're not wrong, but I'll just mention that when I had my stint at a fast food joint it was company policy that if it hit the ground, regardless of packaging, it was to be tossed.
[deleted] ยท 1057 points ยท Posted at 01:57:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be surprised if nobody dropped a sandwich every single day and then "toss" it into their backpack with that policy.
havesomeagency ยท 817 points ยท Posted at 02:19:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why most companies won't let you eat expired or dropped food, because people take advantage of that
The_Grubby_One ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:14:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Leftover food, however... sometimes they're ok with that. Depends on the restaurant. Used to work at a Popeyes' Chicken & Biscuits, and that was their policy. Leftover chicken at the end of the night was free to take.
DJDomTom ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:18:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Places I worked didn't allow that cause ppl would make extra food at the end of the night to take home.
bizitmap ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is one of those "the rules should say you can't, but the management should look the other way if nobody's abusing the privilege" things.
Like obviously if I see way more mashed potatoes get made than are needed I'm gonna be suspicious, but if you have legit good employees and we have biscuits left have fun
gardenlife84 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 09:05:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Spot on. Management that were half way decent people know the kids make jackshit for wages, so they usually let staff snag a free meal at the end of the night in one way or another. Whether it is true leftovers or 'leftovers' as a result of a sudden influx of extra food made right before close, you buy a ton of employee respect and future cooperation for the price of basically nothing. It's a good way to manage if you have people who don't abuse your generosity.
That is just IMHO.
Mxfish1313 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:16:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was poor and in college and working at a movie theater. My supervisor was rad and became a friend so he would often do this for me so Iโd end up carting home like 10 hot dogs and 10 pretzels some nights. Popped them in the freezer and I was golden.
DJDomTom ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:27:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds amazing
emojiibro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hot damn the bro
SpermWhale ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:27:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a couple of managers who were forced to discard perfectly cooked, within allowable time to serve patties by this popular burger chain. Reason: they make other branches look bad for having perfect record for consecutive months of no patty wastage.
frozenweathermap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:56:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What in the actual fuck
KalessinDB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:47:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy once had a loss prevention manager say "Your markdowns are really low" (we mark things down as they approach sell by date so they didn't have to be tossed) "but we'd like to see your known losses be a little higher"
Like... you're seriously upset that they were rotating stock properly?!
gojaejin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In practice, it depends upon the employee, too. You don't write a policy that allows it, but the diligent night shift manager working two full-time jobs and barely feeding her family, you trust to eat write-off food for free. The lazy teenager trying to score as much stuff as possible for his buddies, doesn't even get a second chance.
Golden-Sun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here's couldn't serve one day hotdogs so we would split them at the end of the day. On days it got really busy and than died it was both awesome and shit
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work at KFC, and I can literally eat anything in the store as long as I write it down. And if it isn't on the list of stuff that needs to be written down (fries, potato wedges, cheese curds, etc.) then I can just take it, no questions asked.
Rocket_hamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:45:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Neighbour worked at KFC and would bring the leftover chicken home to give to me because it wasn't halal.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DiamondTiaraIsBest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:39:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like stealing.
naomi_is_watching ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've taken "made wrong" orders out of the trash for dinner, back when I worked food. I didn't think it was too gross, it was completely wrapped and bagged. Plus, there was only paper in the trash, no gross stuff.
awnawnamoose ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:36:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a policy at a chocolate factory I worked in. I worked the Halloween treats like (M&Ms), Twix bars, snickers etc. All Halloween sized. The machine I โoperatedโ would package 12 quantity of individual wrapped treats into a larger plastic bag - the one we all buy from grocery stores for Halloween.
Anyway, anything ripped open or not perfect was game to eat. On good days (M&M peanuts), every fourth bag was bad! The stomach pain...
onefreckl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:23:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I watched my manager eat two quarts of chili and 8 fried chicken breasts. All in one sitting, possibly record time too.
awnawnamoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:21:31 on April 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How much they weigh? Thatโs unsettling
onefreckl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:01 on April 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At least 8oz each...
awnawnamoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:30 on April 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was definitely, and impolitely, asking about the persons weight hah
onefreckl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:14 on April 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao, I'd guess around 450lb? Maybe more, he couldn't really support himself after 5 minutes of standing/laying on the counter and screaming at us.
Unsounded ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:11:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And you know what? We do it anyways because fuck corporate
AverageMerica ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who would want their employees properly fed anyways?
Phreakhead ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:11:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which is why the U.S. throws away almost half of our food.
snakesbbq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:42:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its actually more like 60% of food produced in the US is thrown out. It's not restaurants though, its grocery stores that waste the most food.
Phreakhead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True, but grocery stores have the same rules. I remember back when I worked at Safeway, my manager made me throw out all these perfectly good deli items because a customer changed their mind after they were packed up. I said "but there's homeless people out back that could eat this!" And he said "too bad."
dorkmax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its mostly a question of whether or not everyone is trustworthy. I work at a gas station that allows employees to eat leftovers.
Mechanus_Incarnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on local trash laws, the company might not have any legal way to prevent it.
contagiouscass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work for a pizza place and we may have messed up a pizza or two right before closing... luckily our night managers were chill and messed up pizzas too.
sm1ttysm1t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to clean the "dishes" at McDonald's when we swapped over from breakfast to lunch. Trays filled with food, English muffins, biscuits, everything...
I was supposed to throw it all away and chart it. It was charted, but it was also transformed into some of the most deliciously monstrous breakfast sandwiches you've ever seen. At 16 years old, working with a crew of mostly 16 year olds, we ate better working there than we did at home.
thenichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:31 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And that's why the seventeenth barb will be placed on the whips for maiming the owners before their executions
lilgreenjedi ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine making one type of food for 8+ hours straight and then trying to eat one of those foods. Really isn't as appealing after that much time.
DaWayItWorks ยท 155 points ยท Posted at 03:17:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you get creative with the ingredients at hand. Back line workers don't eat the menu items, they make shit up to suit them. Even if it was for a coworker, I'd put my own spin on it. Or add bacon, lots of bacon.
amberbmx ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:38:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a grilled sub place for a bit over a year. Thatโs exactly what we did. We got free meals every day so weโd always experiment and come up with new creations to prevent getting sick of the same shit
dickseverywhere444 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend that worked at taco bell and his manager used to let them create all sorts of shit on their lunch/at closing.
scampwild ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, fry up a chalupa shell, break it into pieces in a bowl, add toppings and plenty of nacho cheese.
Soliterria ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:32:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I had several regulars that would come in while I was running around on my kitchen shift, and theyโd order something on the menu and in the machine have the server type โSoliterria Specialโ (well my real name obviously), and Iโd add or remove whatever I wanted. There was only once that someone didnโt like my meal, and that was because I put tomato on. She wasnโt even mad, just winked at me and said โNo rabbit food next time, yeah?โ
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:21:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
youtheotube2 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:28:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at Dominoโs, and we had all the ingredients in the store to make cinnamon rolls.
Take some pan dough, stretch it out into a flat sheet, mix some of the butter oil with the cinnamon shake on, then slather all that on the dough. Pour a couple icing cups on there for some extra calories. Then roll it up, cut it, and lay them out in one of the aluminum pasta dishes. Send that through the oven, then flip it over and send it through again. Top with more cinnamon and icing.
Random-Rambling ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:32:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, that sounds delicious!
DaWayItWorks ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:32:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At Hardees my boss would make donuts with the biscuit dough. When they still had fried chicken, we'd make mashed potato bowls with all kinds of stuff in them. On cold days, we'd make chilli in the steam warmer table. Put BBQ sauce on burgers before sending them through the charbroiler. When they weren't selling salad, we'd make salads occasionally. They didn't have cheese sauce, so ฤฑ'd nuke some shredded cheese with some of the milk they kept for shakes, and add salt/pepper. Liked to deep fry ham slices for sandwiches. The list goes on...
PuppleKao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I still occasionally miss Hardee's fried chicken. I'd always thought it was better than KFC. :(
ollieperido ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:51:02 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We still have chicken here
PuppleKao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:08 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
:O
You lucky duck!
SweetyPeetey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmmmm bacon.
VincentHatesWindows8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a pizza place for a year. After getting sick of pizza, we eventually settled on putting chicken, peppers, olives, tomatoes, onion, and garlic in a bowl with some BBQ and slapping that shit in the oven for a bit. It came out like a diabetic stir fry. Sounds nasty, tastes amazing.
RodneyRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in McD 20 years ago when I was in college and their policy was to throw unsold food away at the end of the night.
There were a couple of decent managers who would let us take the food instead. We would make some interesting stuff up. This was back in the day when it was just burgers, fries and nuggets, polystyrene containers and none of that 'apple slices instead of fries' bullshit.
Triple or quad big macs made with chicken or quarter pounder patties instead. Custom french fry and cheese sandwiches for the vegetarians. Or boxes of nuggets where the nuggets were actually chicken patties.
We would take bags of food round to someone's house and share with a bunch of stoned mates.
sh4itan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
thats u/DaWayItWorks
grmblstltskn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:03:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except for Subway cookies. We โbrokeโ so many while baking them because we got to eat the ugly broken ones.
SpermWhale ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:29:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Make a documentary about it.
"The Rise of Legendary Glycemic Index".
bizitmap ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:39:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes people are broke though, and if you're broke any free food suddenly tastes very good
hyacinth_girl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:23:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at coldstone, I never got tired of the free ice cream. But as soon as I quit, I suddenly was somewhat repulsed by ice cream and didn't eat any for a year or two.
fizikz3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ehhhhhh....not really true. worked at pizza hut for a while. definitely ate free pizza/breadsticks often.
TheSlimyDog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The real answer is that even if you were allowed to eat them, you'd probably get sick of it after 2 sandwiches. And it's not something you want to eat every meal.
Ajaxthedestrotyer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I ate pizza for 6 months every day cause I was broke while working at a pizza joint. Starvation doesn't care sometimes
chewyxc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Free food is free food.
bearlegion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even as a chef making all sorts of food, I used to look around and go "Nope, nope and nope....I'm getting Thai food from next door"
SmaugTheMagnificent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's still free. I'm pretty tired of my work meal, but it's easily $50 a week I don't have to spend on food.
mysticmusti ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, never had a problem with it myself, if it's tasty it's tasty.
raindropsandrainbows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why I don't apply for jobs at my favourite fast food restaurants.. I'm scared I'll stop liking the food
Thecardinal74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
which is why i could never be a gynecologist
lilgreenjedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:10:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
my man
Kingdomheartsfan891 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Keep telling yourself that. Worked at the same sub shop(not jimmy johns) for 3 years and still ate there everyday, most of the time getting the same exact thing. When you're broke you can't be picky
ClaudeKaneIII ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:20:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My college roommate worked at McDs, at the end of the shift some nights he'd throw in a whole sheetpan of cherry and apple pies and act dumb (no questioning this one honestly) about it being 10 mins from close... Then he'd come home with a backpack full of apple pies for us.
Matt if your out there get a haircut you fuckin loser, and give me a call you bastard, I got big news!
seattle_douche ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:17:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a brief stint at a coffee shop many years ago an the rule was that broken baked goods could not be sold. I broke so many of those motherfuckers.
Also the place allowed 50% off of 1 meal if you worked a 7+ hr shift. The staff would rather have free meals though.
I would make free drinks and break some cookies for the sandwich people and they would "drop" some sandwiches for us.
It was fun but my god I have no idea how people last in those jobs for more than 3 months. I quit out of the sheer mind numbingness of it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to make a big show of slipping, throwing the food in the air, juggling it a few times, and then letting it fall on the floor right in front of my manager before asking if I could eat it. It was a pretty fun job.
ya-both-high ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:16:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a sandwich place, can confirm that's why we don't let people eat messed up sandwiches or anything leftover. It's rare that they happen anyways, but they'd happen a lot more if we let people eat them.
That policy didn't stop my employee last week from taking out the trash and digging through the bag to find it and eat it, though.
peebsunz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would be such a clumsy worker.
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:19:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why there is a bucket that the expired food goes into to be destroyed, and taking stuff out of that bucket is theft and a firable offence.
KalessinDB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:55:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now, do you actually believe it should be theft, or are you just quoting policy? Just curious.
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:04:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Both. If company policy is don't take home office supplies, a pen is theft and a pc is theft all the same
arvidsem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, when I worked at Subway, we had to bag and save any wasted food to keep us from doing that.
Of course, there was no limit on how much crap you could put on your complementary 6" sub, some of mine weighed a couple of pounds and had to be eaten with knife and fork.
TiaxTheMig1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Broken cookies at subway can't be sold to customers. As you can imagine there was a broken cookie or two every single shift
xMasterless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, when I worked at a pizza place I would occasionally put the wrong topping on a pizza so when they sent it back I would have a free pizza.
88scythe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:52:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/maliciouscompliance
gojaejin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:56:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's not a "company policy", but a law in almost every jurisdiction in the developed world.
However, I would personally eat the sandwich. ;)
BGYeti ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:56:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thats because health inspectors don't give a shit if it is bagged, it touched the ground it gets remade.
xixi2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was already tossed... thatโs how it got on... nevermind too easy
kajar9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lawdy, how many drops must have happened before lunchtime...
wmurray003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am in agreement.
CreamyGoodnss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You mean free employee sandwich
itsonlyjuly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a manager once who would drop a raw burger patty or frozen fish patty on the ground and if no one saw, heโd just pick it up and put it on the grill/ in the fryer and then use them as if they were never dropped. The same ground that only got mopped like twice any given day (like truly mopped, people would run a dry mop over it because they were lazy).
frickenheck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately that guy would have then probably complained about the remake taking too long
HeyZuesHChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's how you got into that mess in the first place.
sonofaresiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that's the kind of overbearing policy that leads to people just not caring about the policy at all, so long as a manager isn't directly over them
MollyRocket ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:05:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Throwing out food that touched the ground is overbearing? Haha remind me not to eat at your restaurant
sonofaresiii ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:22:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, this conversation was about food that never touched the ground though, just packaging (eg a plastic bag)
AaaawShitBuddy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:41:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What a waste.
welcome_to_the_creek ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 03:20:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, a buddy and myself used to get free tacos this way from Taco Bell. We'd order a grande meal, which is 10 tacos. When they'd hand the bag out the window we'd let it slip off our fingers as they passed it, so it kinda looked like their fault. They'd always immediately turn around to yell that they needed 10 more tacos, then you snatch them bitches off the ground and wait for your 10 free ones!
gabrielcro23699 ยท 583 points ยท Posted at 01:28:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a pizza delivery girl flat out drop the pizza in front of me. Half of the slices came out of the box and hit the dirt. Her face was so red and she couldn't say anything. I felt so embarrassed for her that I just told her it's ok and even gave extra tip. I wasn't about to send her back to the pizza store to get me another one, knowing she'd get shit from her boss/manager
I mean, goddamn you have one job. And you fucked it up lol. I still ate the other half of the pizza like a boss, though
jollygreenspartan ยท 293 points ยท Posted at 02:11:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was hiking the AT last year and got the "Hiker Special" at a hostel in Georgia: $20 for shower, bunk, coke, and a pizza. Ended up slipping and dropping the pizza on the HOSTEL'S FLOOR. Ate it because I walked 25 miles that day, no ragrets.
gabrielcro23699 ยท 217 points ยท Posted at 02:15:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ.. a floor is one thing, but a hostel floor is a completely other thing. If EU hostels are anything like US hostels, I guarantee you people had sex on that floor
jollygreenspartan ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 02:18:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thru hikers are fucking disgusting. Imagine a voluntarily homeless person who has enough cash reserves to crush a 12 pack and pizza in one sitting and then takes their first shower in 4 days.
Titobanana ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:28:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ski bums do the same thing and we fucking love it
poodles_and_oodles ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:18:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
god i fucking envy you. as a wannabe ski bum who is stuck in the flatlands because of people he loves, have fun for me plz
windowpuncher ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:46:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I see you've never met a soldier.
"Voluntarily" is up for debate, though. Went to California, didn't shower for 2 and a half weeks, above or nearly at 120F every day, 0/10 would not recommend.
After a while you forget about being dirty. After thousands of years daily bathing is still just a recent development within the last couple hundred. Still nasty, either way.
jollygreenspartan ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:48:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Marine vet. 29 Palms sucks.
windowpuncher ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:10:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, you know exactly how it is.
Ohmannothankyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
PCT hiker, can confirm.
Jiannies ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:54:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how much money should one realistically expect to spend if they want to hike the trail?
The_F_B_I ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:11:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but expect at least 10k to do it 'right'
However, you can realistically do it on 5k if you're down with little to no splurging (no restaurants, hotel nights etc) and careful planning
Jiannies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:06:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks! Never realized it was that expensive but makes sense I guess.
Ohmannothankyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:48 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt know how much I spent but I only did 350ish miles of the PCT and it wasnโt $5000! Less than $500, but I didnโt need to buy much new stuff. I spent $120 to replace some gear to to the JMT section this summer. I did not handle the permits and have no idea how much my friend spent on them.
It depends on: hotel/hostel stays (we did none), new gear/replacement gear, food!, lifestyle choices. You canโt take that much with you, is it really worth $87 for a cup that is 17% lighter? What can you borrow? What can you resell? I bought a used goalzero solar panel and resold it for the same amount.
Ohmannothankyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:00 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can you get people to do road drops? Itโs expensive to pay for them.
i_was_a_fart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is very accurate. I question the amount of living things in my hair sometimes.
zamyatinfoilhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Gadetron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A hostile hostel?
JimiBrady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This whole sentence repulsed me more than I thought it could.
jollygreenspartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Outstanding. My work here is done.
chiaros ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:53:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They were actually going it at right then. Why do you think he dropped the pizza?
rocketpants85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, as long as it wasn't still wet from them, nbd.
--24601-- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you look back on the last 2000 years of civilization, that's still an amazing deal.
kittycat0195 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
not even one letter?
TechniChara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that is a steal considering they gave you blow!
batsofburden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is fucking disgusting.
tommy_needs_a_mango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know that hostel ! Well Iโm pretty sure thereโs only one on the Georgia part of the AT.
Mysteriagant ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You gave her an extra tip for half of the pizza. Wow
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:08:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol typical spineless redditor.
Goodboimaaddoggo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:20:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
....we.gonna ignore the fact he said "pizza store"?
Heisenberg0606 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:05:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Valdrax ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 02:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How did you make your text take too much effort to read by disabling wrapping so that I can know what never to do to my own posts?
GrumpySteen ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:59:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
IForgotMyPasswordGrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HellzAngelz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
melissapete24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
melissapete24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:36:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude. TIL.
Heisenberg0606 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt understand it looks normal on my screen.
acealeam ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
NorthEasternGhost ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:22:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not about the job, it's about having empathy for other people. They obviously knew they could've gotten another one.
fuzzer37 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your formatting gave me cancer
MariosLivesMatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mysteriagant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can you make your comment so not only ants can read it please
howarthee ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:50:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, but it is a comment for ants.
Peleaon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But then /u/gabrielcro23699 can't post a story on reddit about what a boss he is, getting his dick sucked by people who can't stand up for themselves and go "You see, I'm actually not a pussy, I'm a legend!"
gabrielcro23699 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:53:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you really think complaining about (accidental) bad service makes you a stand-up guy? Especially when we're talking about cheap, fast food/half a pizza?
I understand if you bought a $100k car and it came in malfunctioning, of course I would complain too. But this was a typical, awkward situation. I'm lucky to have enough money to not need to work a shitty part time job anymore. If you are too, and you complain about food service for a $5-10 meal.. I don't think that would make you a stand-up guy
Peleaon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are making it sound like the only other way to handle that situation is to get mad and scream at them or something. I don't consider politely requesting a new pizza since the first one was ruined to be "complaining", nor do I see how that makes you a dick. The fact that their job is shitty also does not mean I should just settle for ruined food...I mean, I'd definitely tip extra if they had to make 2 trips because of an accident, but I kinda just found it funny to tip extra for getting ruined food.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So true lol
NextTimeDHubert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And now you're slightly less fat!
pixieshit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโre so lovely
drewstillwell ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:00:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you got dirt on your pizza and ate it?!?! Did you die?
batflecks ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:06:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of a girl in middle school. Lollipop fell into dirt, she picked it up in all its dirt-coated glory, told me "God made dirt, dirt don't hurt." Don't know why I took it personally but I hated her for forever after that.
bananawallet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:20:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mom always says that you eat a peck of dirt before you die. Also the woman who doesnโt believe in expiration dates. I havenโt died yet so ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
melissapete24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:35:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My grandmother always said a peck of dirt a YEAR. Or a pound. It's about 50/50 whether she says peck or pound, but it's ALWAYS per year, not life. LOL!!! I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I've probably eaten way more than my share of dirt in a year AND my life! XD
Jonathan_Frias ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:41:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You tipped extra for poor service
TIL how to act "like a boss"
hogansgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An accident hardly equals poor service. Being understanding and empathetic to someone who might need it at that particular moment is pretty โlike a bossโ-esque IMO.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hogansgoat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So she had a shit day and the OP tried to brighten it up a little. I would have done the same, but also gotten a replacement pizza.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:10:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Iโm sure you guys are angels. I wonder how youโd react if it was a pimple faced dude who dropped the pizza...
selddir_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at this specialty coffee shop that delivered to certain people for a bit. One of the delivery destinations was the hospital all the way across town. I made their order, like 15 drinks, and got it all ready. Anyways I dropped one in the hospital parking lot so I had to deliver the other ones, drive all the way back, make one fucking drink, and drive it back over. It sucked and they weren't happy. My boss never even offered us gas money. He was also in a cult for a bit. Weird job tbh.
_DrShrimpPuertoRico_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You sir, are a nice person. Although, you could've blamed it on some ignorant asshole.
caninehere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You must be kind of saint.
I mean, I would give her a nice tip too, but I would totally tell her to go back to the pizza store and get me another one. I'm not eating some dirty ass-pizza.
theaesthene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are awesome for doing that.
Also I recognize your name from watching lots of PUBG on Twitch, which is crazy.
bononooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:25 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aww that's nice of you
cakeisgreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:30:39 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a beta green text story.
Project2r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Hero we need.
kaiserboze14 ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 02:14:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow Iโm embarrassed for you to not have the social skills to ask her to do her job properly and rewarding her poor effort.
gabrielcro23699 ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:19:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean when I was younger and working part time jobs, I fucked up even more than that. I worked at a pretty high scale restaurant that a lot of rich people went to. Was bringing wine to a table. I tripped and spilled it all over a couple, and they were wearing nice clothes too. I remember how nice they were about it and told me not to worry about it, even though they could've complained and probably forced me to pay the cleaning costs of their clothes.
There's no need to be such an asshole for such minor things, especially if you have money.
dolorousbread ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:35:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did that too! I was a super green hostess at a restaurant when I was 17, and policy was that I had to carry customersโ drinks to their tables on a tray if they were waiting in the bar. I legally wasnโt allowed to handle alcohol at 17 but whatever. I bring this womanโs glass of red wine on a tray over to the table with her and spill it all over her white fur coat. I instantly burst into tears in front of them then ran to the back. Felt HORRIBLE. Luckily the manager sorted it out.
kaiserboze14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He couldโve just let her get him another pizza without being an asshole. Iโm sure she offered bc that is definitely a store policy.
221433571412 ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 03:03:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fair, but I wouldn't give her extra tip. Why would you give someone extra tip for doing a bad job? The accepting of the pizza as is would be enough reward.
Super_Vegeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a "reward." It's meant more of a reassurance that it's okay, and she shouldn't worry about it.
Holy5 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:58:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People make mistakes man. I'm sure she didn't continue to drop pizzas.
god_anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm embarassed that you care so much about how other people spend their money/treat service workers
solaceinsleep ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 03:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude needs to develop a spine
tommy_needs_a_mango ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love people like you
kaze0 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:22:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's bruised
esr360 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:48:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah...being surprised about being served food that has been thrown on the floor does not make you spineless lol
Peleaon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:38:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are on Reddit, expecting a certain level of service from retail workers makes you a fucking dick.
Ysmildr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:58:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think its more about it being tossed and hitting the floor, how that might fuck up the sandwich
eeyore134 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was also probably a bit beat up from hitting the floor. Considering the health department won't even let you have a bucket of soapy water for cleaning rags on the floor, I really doubt throwing food on the floor, in a bag or not, would fly. It's just safer to replace it.
KaylaS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be smashed though! If I'm paying for a sandwich I'd like it not to be all smashed and crushed thanks!
Rolten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meh, I'd still be ok with it but a business throwing and then dropping my sandwich (even if wrapped) really isn't how it should be done, especially without a 'sorry, is this ok or would you like a new one?'.
And for all you know the ingredients are all over the place.
NeverBeenStung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's funny, as a customer I would never have a problem with that, but as an employee I would never serve it to a customer.
HeyZuesHChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He ordered a sandwich, hold the spine, though.
pheatherphox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I've dropped plenty of subs and was worried about the customer and lost of them just say it's fine it's already wrapped. What a dick.
LeftZer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, that business needs to sell food that wasn't dropped on the floor.
Peleaon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah what a fucking retard, not being happy about getting a bruised fucked up sandwich he paid for. I know Reddit has a hard-on of massive proportions for retail workers, but insulting someone who just wanted the service he was paying for (when from the story he wasn't even a dick about it) is too low even for you guys.
Especially if the reaction is not "oh shit sorry, my bad" but "Oh, you saw that?" I would be pretty pissed too.
SmaugTheMagnificent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Still a safety violation.
KalessinDB ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:45:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Two fucking layers of protection and the guy was still upset? People go ridiculously overboard with the germaphobia.
RonSwansonsOldMan ยท -96 points ยท Posted at 23:39:16 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are aware that the 5 second rule isn't really a thing...right?
Bluethundermonkey ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 23:47:54 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's in two layers of wrapping i don't really see how that applies here at all
metyuadem ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:48:34 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
exactly
Ferik- ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:25:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well it's wrapped in two layers so that just adds on 10 more seconds right?
Freewander10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This man did the math.
RowBoatyGirlyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What if there's a puddle of water
TheOmniGlow ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because this is a licensed restaurant, not your mom's kitchen. Different rules, different standards.
SilentFungus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right, when the food touches the floor not the bag
K1gC ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:59:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You do realize that those wraps arenโt sterile and god knows what gets on them from factory to box.
Demonic_Toaster ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at JJ's too. Ever get anyone to order a BLT with cheese?
Without thinking on the sandwich i wrote BLT+ch and handed it to customer, what followed next was a flurry of profanity that began with .. WHAT THE FUCK?>!.... much explaining took place after
urbanK07 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:21:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a frequent JJ customer is there a reason why my subs never get cut in half even when I emphasize them to cut it. Just laziness? Itโs no big deal but Iโve always noticed they never do haha.
viperfide ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:31:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at jjs, the last person on line sometimes cuts it, heโs also just the person that wraps it so they donโt usually have to listen to the order mods because they donโt have to do anything else besides wrap.
Sometimes the meat puller/middle guy is just used to pulling meats and a knife isnโt a meat, so it just slips the mind because people donโt usually get things cut in half.
And both of them sometimes cut it in half so there isnโt a dedicated person to cut it and they rely on each other witch than makes it a harder
Itโs hard to explain, even when I pull and wrap in a 2 person line I forget too, itโs just when you read the ticket in front of you, usually you only look at the mods for meats and the cut 1/2 just doesnโt register in your brain. itโs always the very last thing on the ticket too. Itโs just one of the things that slip the mind for literally no reason, itโs not laziness. Itโs just one of those phycology flaws.
Also; a lot of people jjs are stoners witch also could be the issue.
Kyle772 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:33:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm EVERY word
Source: Work at JJs
urbanK07 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:34:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that was a much more detailed response than I was expecting haha. Thank you!
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We forget all the time. Its a honest mistake, and very easy to miss when we're focused on speed. Ive been much better about making sure my people cut it in half recently though.
Demonic_Toaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Actually yes there is, since every sandwich is 8" long exactly theres no reason to, unless specifically requested it's not sliced. But if you ask for them to cut it in half specify it when you place the order at the register that person will note the ticket. It's really a numbers and time game, the average sandwich should only take about 34 sec or less to assemble. I watched a store manager vs a District one square off against each other and the store manager managed to do it by himself in about 17.6 seconds. It's all bragging rights its a fun place to work but its alot of work!
CaptSprinkls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yo i worked at taco bell and we dropped a 12 pack box of HARD tacos and other burritos right off the counter. They even spilled out into the floor a little. I was working drive thru and i looked at the guy and said, dude remake that shit, i said im not handing it out. So instead if remaking it he went over and took their money and handed it out. Apparently there were bodies blocking the site lines. No actual food touched the ground, just wrappers but still gross
Spyu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of the principle of it though. Now I gotta touch something that was dropped on the floor to eat my sandwich.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Checks out
Driller7lyfe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever that used to happen to me, Iโd just explain to the customer what happened, and no one ever gave a damn
SeizwhatIdidThere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are Jimmy Johns with drive thrus?
tuck190 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
not most, but some. out of our 13 or so stores, we have 3.
HtownKS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:30:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im a jimmy driver now. If I threw away every sandwich i dropped I would be fired. (Wrapped ans baged that is.
rokudaimehokage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:19:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You mention that it's wrapped and bagged. Why would you not serve them that sandwich? The edible sandwich part is wrapped in paper and furthermore inside a bag so it's not dirty. Maybe the contents might be jossled but no more so than the throwing and catching of the sandwich would have done.
SuperOkayCatDad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little Jimmy John's justice real quick. A buddy of mine worked there between jobs and earlier in the day he received a job offer. Anyway, apparently the person he delivered to was incredibly rude when he arrived. So having been stiffed many times delivering to a not-so-great neighborhood, he had enough and asked why she didn't tip. Her response was something along the lines of "tip for what? It wasn't even that fast."
He snatched the bag out of her hand and started to eat her sandwich in front of her.
NegroConFuego ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Posts like this are seriously making this my favorite Askreddit ever
IAmAlligatorBlood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:56:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something similar happened to a friend. She ordered at Burger King and was at the window. The guy walks over to hand her her burger and drops it. The guy asks another worker what to do. The other worker says give it to her. The first guy turns and looks at my friend, turns back, and says I can't, she saw.
TheNightTurtle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
if it was still in the wrapper/bag then there is no reason he should care
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's bagged and wrapped though, it's not like the sandwich came into contact with anything...
KittyKat122 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people like that. Um yeah i am going to serve you that because your food didn't touch thr floor, a bag did. If you dropped the sandwich yourself at home you wouldn't throw it out.
SpacepopeIX ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:40:27 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I miss JJ's so much.
DigimonIsBetter4 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:48:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Jimmy Johns near me physically blocked health inspectors to buy time. They had to call the police to get in.
Yeah I don't eat there anymore. Tasty while it lasted.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Infinitell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda disappointed this didn't end as a shittymorph
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
we dont even use bleach water any more, we use quat tabs, so both are hot.
SpacepopeIX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that what happened?
DigimonIsBetter4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:59:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Yes it was.
SpacepopeIX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sorry, I was just looking at the ones closest to me, and they're listed as closed permanently. I was putting 2 and 2 together and guessing they closed for health reasons
SouthsideSouthies ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:57:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It still exists.
SpacepopeIX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:08:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I moved, the closest ones are in NY and they are Listed as closed permanently on google maps.
SouthsideSouthies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. I honestly had no idea. Are JJs a Midwest thing?
SpacepopeIX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think more of a college town thing
SouthsideSouthies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:13:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. Ok. All I know is they are all over the Minneapolis-Saint Paul metro.
Armagetiton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That guy is an idiot, it's a midwest thing. You find them all over the suburbs here.
There are literally 15 of them in a 10 mile radius of me and the nearest university is 20 miles.
coolkid1717 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait? The sandwich was in a wrapper, and inside of a paper bag. What's wrong g if it were on the floor? It has two different wrappers around it. It didn't actually touch the floor. I out my grocery bags on the floor when I get home from shopping. I don't see the problem.
CallsignRagnarok ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who on earth would remake a sandwich for dropping it when it has a wrapping and bag on it? Dudes just an ass who wants to boss oh around and needs everything right and dandy for him
mapleNlink4eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it was bagged?? what an asshole
Lgetty17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYouโre seriously gonna whine about that? Itโs a sandwich.โ
221433571412 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 03:06:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're not getting paid per sandwich, it's per hour. Any complaints from the staff about this are literally ego insecurities, like what you'd supposedly say. I don't know if this is shitty american culture or what, but I find it ironic that America simultaneously has tipping to encourage better service and also has shit service, judging by many of the comments here.
shortsonapanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thats retarded. I'd eat that sandwich straight off the floor.
Johnvonhein1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does your username work?
coolasafool462 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
done it plenty of times, that landing table isn't exactly sterile.
tanteitrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you binge watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine and read this as Jimmy Jabs twice before reading the right thing...
mrofmist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a JJ ASM I would struggle not to say, "it's wrapped and bagged.... What's the problem?"
But nope, customers don't have that sense of logic.
munchies1122 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at JJ as well. Shit job. Made awesome friends.
Danthorpe04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People are weird. I would of taken that sandwich. It was double wrapped.
Kigarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's the issue customer? It's bagged and therefore still sanitary.
TomQuinn13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People actually care if a sandwich that is wrapped AND bagged hits the floor? Yeesh
tuck190 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I drop wrapped sandwiches all the time, not a person has accepted my offer to remake it.
teruma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite was when the guy who was supposed to catch missed and got slammed in the face by a sandwich.
miaow_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's wrapped and bagged, who fucking cares.
dasklrken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't understand people's issue with food that touches the floor, especially if it's wrapped and bagged. It's not like dirt magically teleported inside of the sandwich, it's still just a slightly squished sandwich, and it's not worth the time waiting for another to be made. (Also, If you're going to eat it, and then expect another free sandwich, it clearly meets your standards, so you really shouldn't be a dick and ask for another one).
More generally, I don't understand people who have zero chill. Like, in what kind of persons tiny fucking mind is the difficulty you cause someone else (not to mention the embarrassment you cause yourself) by flipping out on them, worth whatever small thing occurred, real or imagined. Like, if you spit in my sandwich and I see it, yes I will politely ask to see your manager and give you a confused look, but if you accidentally drop it? Odds are you were more startled than I was, so 90% of the time I'd help you clean it up, put it back together, and eat it with a cheeky smile on my face, pay for my sandwich, and leave.
brneyedgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a St Patrick's Day parade last week, and the local Jimmy John's was literally winging (paper-wrapped, but not bagged) half-sandwiches into the crowd. People were BEGGING for them. These dudes on the float were throwing them as hard as they could at people's faces. It was hysterical and delicious at the same time.
sakurarose20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, five second rule.
fuckitx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's wrapped and bagged, who cares?
Froster2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have made up some crap like โYeah we drop them a lot thatโs why we have sanitized plastic over here on the floorโ
Froster2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have made up some crap like โ Yeah we drop them a lot thatโs why we have sanitized plastic on the floorโ
nomesaying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a second...Jimmy Johns with a drive through? Do the cars even stop?
pm_cute_selfies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:16:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If the crew is in the groove, the cars don't spend more time than paying because the order can usually be done before they get to the window and finish paying.
That being said, large orders, and slow workers will gum up the works.
ShippFFXI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry. Just imagine how many people have taken medicine. Now imagine a klutz as a pharmacy tech and how many of those pills have hit the floor. Something I never even pondered until I worked in a pharmacy. But then medicine is a bit different from food. Can't say I've ever heard of someone smuggling a sandwich in their rectum across the border to sell. People into that tend to get it from the processed factory.
krazyeyekilluh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was wrapped. Why was he upset?
CedarWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:45:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working drive-thru once and this lady ordered a fancy latte. We were slammed, and the orders got mixed up, so her latte was sitting on the counter next to me when she drove up. She paid, and I picked it right up off the counter and gave it to her.
She saw this and got pissed, then made me remake the dang thing. I'm thinking 'Lady, there are 8 cars behind you, and I've had a steady stream of 20-30 people ahead of you without a break. Your drink has been sitting there maybe a minute, and it's still plenty hot. What is your deal?' (I didn't say that, of course.)
But whatever, she sat there and glared the whole time I had to wait for one of our two latte bars to become available just so I could remake her drink. I still don't know what her deal was.
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really? He's bitching because a sandwich that had 2 layers of protection hit the flood for just a second? What a little bitch.
ktmordie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It the sandwich was wrapped and bagged why the hell would you care if the bag hit the ground?
CosmicPennyworth ยท 12522 points ยท Posted at 20:30:37 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 16 I worked at an amusement park in California. This family was waiting at the front of the line to go on my rollercoaster. The dad just said "Hi. We're from Wyoming."
Without thinking I sarcastically said "Wow, my favorite place."
GumeeSlurpee ยท 2238 points ยท Posted at 21:14:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now I need to know which park, because most employees are accidental douches.
CosmicPennyworth ยท 1366 points ยท Posted at 22:03:50 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's California's Great America
GumeeSlurpee ยท 556 points ยท Posted at 22:35:02 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a feeling.
Young_Buckets24 ยท 286 points ยท Posted at 23:21:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WooHoo
TimtheBigDaddy ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 01:31:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That tonight's gonna be a good night...
ceebz90 ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 03:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That tonight's gonna be a good good night
Alex3456789 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:01:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feelin', whohoo
mathieu2em ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 04:23:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
fuck off reddit hahahhahhaha
poodles_and_oodles ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:13:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no u
mathieu2em ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:42:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
a mi no u
faireduvelo ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:19:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I worked there when I was 16! Patriot and Celebration Swings
CosmicPennyworth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:23:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in the same section! Did you have to yell at people not to use their phones while riding the swings?
faireduvelo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Iโve even seen the Patriot stopped on the way up because someone wouldnโt put their phone away. I worked there last summer actually, Iโm 17 now
CosmicPennyworth ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:37:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol I guessed that because the Patriot is like a one-year-old ride.
I'm 18 so I actually worked there the summer before you. Which means we probably worked with a lot of the same people.
I guess I'll just start... naming people who worked there? Do you know Natasha, Quentin, or Priscilla? Or maybe Matt, or Christian?
This is surreal.
faireduvelo ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:58:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quentinโs my guy, I know Matt and Christian kinda
pretty wacky
CosmicPennyworth ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:13:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude Quentinโs the coolest.
Edit: If you mention it to people, theyโll know me as the guy who peed his pants on the carousel.
LetterSwapper ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:26:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well now you have to tell us this story, Employee Peepants.
remainprobablecoat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is the park good these days?
sidinridin ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My old bitch worked at great America this convo got me nostalgic
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:35:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when that was called Paramounts Great America
CosmicPennyworth ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:38:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was back when they still had Nickelodeon characters
rushingkar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:14:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't they replace the Nickolodeon area with Peanuts themed stuff?
TechDude120708 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:54:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, cuz all the Peanuts stuff at the Mall of America is now Nickelodeon stuff. Haha.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
back when the best roller coaster was called "Top Gun". Now its called something stupid.
oldsguy65 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:12:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember when it was Marriott's Great America, sonny.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
jesus.... your old....
oldsguy65 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:18:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Looney Toons characters. As far as the eye could see. Nobody knew what the hell a Nickelodeon character was because there was no such thing at the time.
And there sure as shootin' weren't no Top Gun ride because there was no such thing at the time.
It was just a log ride. One giant log ride. And there was no water for the log ride because there was no such thing at the time. We had to push it ourselves. But we waited 17 hours in line for that log ride and we liked it.
relachesis ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:46:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was the first place my mom let me go on "scary" roller coasters :)
Now I'm a thrill ride junkie.
TransformerTanooki ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:33:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that park growing up. Figured out on the Top Gun ride if you hold your breath and act like your taking a dump on The first loop you can pass out for the rest of the ride.
TheDoctorLives ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:59:05 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, that park is great.
Beatful_chaos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:38:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Make Great America Great Again
Tayraed ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:06:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...a family came from Wyoming to go to great America? I mean, its fun and all, but it's barely worth my two hour drive. But to each their own; hope they had a good time.
pinetree16 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:03:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Japan and during a week in San Francisco last summer I went to Great America. (Was originally planning on Six Flags but every local person was saying Great America is better) The park is great. No regrets.
Tayraed ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:19:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, maybe I'm just sort of used to it since its the closest park to me. I'll just have to go again soon, I've always liked it, just didn't think it was all that great. Probably because I always wanted to go to Disneyland instead but it was too far away so I guess I felt like we settled. Thanks for your input though! I'm realizing I was probably too harsh on it, haha.
kingravs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:23:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
6 flags has crazier rollercoasters, but great America is better
UndeniablyPink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure it was an extensive trip to CA, as evidenced by the amount of tourists we get. Not to mention, there's probably attraction packages
Drullkus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:25:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live 15 minutes from there! Iโve enjoyed every time Iโve visited.
Siegelman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:29:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
horray santa clara
PrototypeKyo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:17:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Top Gun!!!!!
mangowan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:46:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every teenager in the South Bayโs first job lmao will never forget my torturous season at this hellhole
j-hose-a ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:10:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When're they gonna reopen vertigo?
kirby31200 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never. They took it out and put a new roller coaster in its place a couple years ago
j-hose-a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
): that was such a fun ride. I was there on the day it broke down and everyone got stuck on it.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BRUH GOLD STRIKER IS FUCKING LIT
EDIT: THE DEMON WAS ACTUALLY EVEN MORE LIT
CosmicPennyworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened on Goldstriker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean I like Great America in general.
JGordon99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I used to go there all the time!
glitterturtlefart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
GA heyyyyy that used to be our every weekend spot in our teens (cousins and I)
charina91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my God, no way! I'm from Oregon.
Splurkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which ride?
Corn_Palace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol. I knew it.
UndeadBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, I've lived in California my whole life and I've never even heard of this place. I might have to check it out sometime, especially if there's a chance it will be less crowded than Knott's, Disneyland, or Magic Mountain.
JustSomeGoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's in San Jose and I'm pretty sure it's owned by Knotts. It's a pretty fun park and when I went it wasn't crowded at all. We got tickets off Groupon for really cheap
ponysniper2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LMFAO, why did I assume it was GA also? I never got to do rides, was always scared I'd fuck something up and people would die. AKA Dropzone
sanna43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, my favorite place!
NlNTENDO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, my favorite place
QualifiedDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That name brings back memories. I knocked out some of my teeth there in 2005.
agage3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, my favorite place.
DoubleM515 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Great America. I haven't been in ages but I hear the quality of customer has diminished a bit...
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Us Californians know where it's at! For some reason, we only want to live here.
Drew707 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lived in the Bay Area my whole life but hadn't done the Alcatraz tour until I was like 23. My dad, my sister, and I get to the gift shop at the end and go to ring up some stupid shit. The cashier all peppy asks, "NOW WHERE ARE YOU FOLKS FROM?"
"Uh, Santa Rosa..."
"...oh...$47.50."
Total disgust.
LetterSwapper ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a Bay native, I think I know maybe 5 or 6 people who have been to Alcatraz. It's kind of a hassle to go there, so this shouldn't be surprising. Tourists have all the free time they need to do stuff like that.
peachy_clean ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, I almost flipped on a dad when he made the, โOh itโs not scanning it must be freeโ joke while at work at an amusement park. Why do people think thatโs funny?
snoogl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my defense, one time I was at an ice cream shop and the cashier had to restart her register and I said "if I finish this ice cream before it resets, is it free?" To my surprise she agreed and then I was stuck in this awkward moment of panic trying to decide if I should inhale my ice cream or just continue to eat it normally. I didn't succeed in finishing the ice cream before her register was done resetting, but she still gave it to me for free.
Kigarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a problem
That's just the teenage talking
casino_night ยท 3287 points ยท Posted at 20:52:54 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people that start conversations by telling you where they're from. NYers are the worst offenders.
tea_kinggreen ยท 2878 points ยท Posted at 21:55:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a New Yorker, Iโll say youโre right.
Fight me regardless of that
casino_night ยท 558 points ยท Posted at 22:01:28 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuhget about it!
[deleted] ยท 208 points ยท Posted at 22:57:53 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yous ain't talkina me. Ho whooah, da mouth on this one!
[deleted] ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:31:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
infernalspawnODOOM ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:23:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BADDA BING!!!!!
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:16:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BADDA BOOM!!!
Electric_Cat ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ayy I'm PISSIN here
aspiringalcoholic ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 05:53:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโre pissinโ here? Aayyy Iโm WALKIN here
-fno-stack-protector ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:09:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dis aint DISNEYLAND PAL
mordecai98 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:03:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dose yoots are all da same.
MisterSith ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck you think this is, Jersey Boys?
CJMCB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Badda bing
theclaptonfan ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:35:07 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Office reference checks out with the username.
casino_night ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:45:21 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually don't like The Office. It's a Sonic 2 reference.
theclaptonfan ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 23:48:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs fine. But โCasino Nightโ is an episode title and the โFugetiboutitโ line is a well known line from Michael. The odds seemed high. But I guess not.
https://youtu.be/rGoXE_vo5XE
casino_night ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAHA, what are the odds?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username!
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:03:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs what they were talking about dude, stop with this overused comment
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh oh ok
FUCK_WIZARD ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:40:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You attributing Fugeddabout it to Michael Scott is the equivalent of him attributing that Wayne Gretzky quote to himself, that's a well known line from Earth for the past century
theclaptonfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was a connection only because the user name also applies to The Office. A funny coincidence I thought. But clearly itโs upset you so I apologize.
FUCK_WIZARD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought we were having fun but after being informed of my upset status I deeply apologize for whatever you think just happened.
HorribleUsername69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg why are you so upset dude come on chill out no need for such strong words time to take a break >:(((((((( /s
MajorAcer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmfao is what just happened.
jeremydanger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The casino night zone is where I got stuck for a a long time when I was a kid.
Magic_Sex_Bomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heyyy the casino level in sonic two was my fav. I liked the music and the sounds when you hit the bumpers.
I used to cheat in sonic 2. Never beat it without cheating.
I_LIKE_SEALS ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:37:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aye! Iโm wahlkin heโe
Apkoha ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:38:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
EEEEY I"M WALKING HERE
CreamyGoodnss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuggedaboutit*
Radioactive24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:29:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuggedaboudit*
pingasthrowaway ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm walkin' here!
10TAisME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ahem EYAMWAKINERE
KeetoNet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But you are lazy, right?
TuckersMyDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm walking heeeya
SSAvenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:25:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Come at me bro!
RutCry ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:37:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Took the family to NYC just before Christmas. Weโre Mississippians and I was expecting the stereotypical brash, rude New Yorkers. We were pleasantly surprised at how nice everyone was!
Well, except for that one guy. But everyone else couldnโt have been more courteous and helpful!
Loved it and want to go back!
kryts ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A ton of people that live here arenโt originally from here so thatโs probably why.
Savage9645 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:20:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No it's because people from NY are actually nice, they are just in a hurry.
RutCry ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:12:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think this is probably it.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:04:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd like to join in as a proud New Yorker
Jackrwood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:46:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm waaaalkin heeeaaaah.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I will deadass fight you. Mostly because Iโm walkinโ here.
catfishfighter ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:13:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay the most annoying thing about New Yorkers is that they don't understand that there are people that aren't intimately familiar with the lay out of new york. All of their stories are like "okay so I was on sal's bodega, y'know the one on 49th street, and i crossed up to kings boulivard and you know how that is" and its like bitch, no I don't, I don't fucking live there. Other people don't memorize street maps of your overrated city in their off hours.
Okay rant over.
enliderlighankat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:53:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I have over the past year randomly upvoted three of your top 10 comments, pretty funny.
Random reply over.
catfishfighter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:15:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My shitty sense of humor is made possible by users like you. Thank-you.
thefacemanzero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yโjust did it! You doutch bag!
iphon4s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because NYC is so diverse!! Great way to start a conv
GoodHunter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll fight you if we can go get a slice of pizza afterwards
Nlelith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
New York or New York City?
Please don't kill me
dagonundone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:19:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? Thereโs the city and then thereโs upstate. Idk what these New York places are that youโre talkin about.
Red0t514 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ughh, as a Connecticuter I am so annoyed when people have to start every conversation with where they are from!
RutCry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Since youโve started the conversation, do you pronounce it โConnetty-cutterโ or โConnetty-cuterโ?
Red0t514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Conn-et-I-cut Edit: the I is pronounced as an E
buntingsnook ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:11:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer Connecticutian. Con-ne-ti-cyu-shun.
alwaysawkward66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm walkin ere!
Fun_Stick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sitting in my cousins car at Wendy's in Maine, and a guy walking by staring us down decides to tell us he's from New York, and proceeds to elbow the passengers window, shattering it, and begins punching at people and trying to pull the seatbelted passenger out the open window. After getting punched and kicked in the face multiple times, he finally decided to retreat, again telling us he's from New York and we're a bunch of pussies as he quickly runs to his truck to make a quick getaway. Fuck New Yorkers.
Bn_scarpia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a Texan, I take that as a personal challenge!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Iโm from Yew Nork.
Michael__Cross ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:09:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The funny part is you people don't have to tell us you're from New York.
Pfefferneusse32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whaddaya tawkin' about? How else wouldja know where'm from?
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 11:42:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
deep dish pizza > new york "pizza"
buntingsnook ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:12:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I will fight you anywhere. I will fight you in a preschool.
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Come at me deep dish is the only true pizza!!!!!
Baschoen23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even those dummys in Chicago like it. Down with Deep Dish!
tea_kinggreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuck did you just fucking say to me, you little bitch? Iโll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iโve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iโm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youโre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatโs just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little โcleverโ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnโt, you didnโt, and now youโre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youโre fucking dead, kiddo.
PM_ME_YOUR_CUTE_HATS ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:54:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
:o
Your "pizza" sucks! All hail deep dish!!!! All hail!!!
icamom ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:30:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was an America touring in England and spent the day in Salisbury. Not surprisingly, we kept running into the same obnoxious man who announced to everyone that he was American.
Shut up dude. They already know.
casino_night ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:38:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, he was probably just desperate to get laid.
nfsnobody ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:54:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he should have stopped telling people he was American then.
gabrielcro23699 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 01:32:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean if it's a different continent/country, sure why the hell not? Usually people start the conversation asking me what country I'm from.
But a different state/city within the US? Wtf, who careeees? I think people from SoCal are worse, especially somewhere in the midwest.
"It's cold"
"Yea, CALIFORNIA'S SUNSHINE NEVER GOT THIS COLD"
BookishBiker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I do this, with Vegas. They complain about the heat and Iโm like โWell, Iโm from Vegas, so...โ
But then they get confused because I definitely donโt have a Vegas accent, which often leads to an awkward conversation where we go through 2-3-4 countries before they give up guessing and I tell them ;-)
Squeeblestix ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:01:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I lived there for a year and never noticed a Vegas accent, what does it sound like?
BookishBiker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs the thing with Americans - none of you think you have an accent ๐
Squeeblestix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ha I'm from northern Minnesota, even after five years in Socal my 'Fargo' accent comes out when talking with people from home.
BookishBiker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My in-laws are from southern MN. Love it up there!
My parents-in-law have started doing half the year here, half there, and when they go back, it takes a minute for Mom to go full Minnesotan. My New Zealand accent has died down a lot since I moved here, but it also reverts when Iโm talking to people from home, so I guess itโs normal.
457undead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My Florida friends think I'm joking when I say words like "bag" in my semi-Minnesotan accent.
sixfootoneder ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oklahoma here. I know a Californian when they say "melk" or "pellow." Also my wife is Californian. Most Oklahomans don't have much of an accent. It's not Texas, at least.
userbelowisamonster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm from Wisconsin and midwesterners are the worst with this. So I sez, Mayanee peeyapull doant think we hayave an ayaxccent.
Ionlypost1ce ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I upvoted just for the shot at California (as a NYer) but disagree with you entirely. Sure Americans share a lot. But we are drastically dofferent across these 50 states. Just in terms of sheer distance, think about how different you get from England to Russia, which are probably closer than NY to LA. Sure we are more similar than that, but a lot more different I think than people give credit (and we should be! America is a huge freaking country)
Astrokiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's complaining about something, it's still tedious even if they're from somewhere more distant. Like Europeans complaining about British food/coffee/weather
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:48:36 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fumblerful- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:58:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's to say she is being inconvenienced having to communicate with you guys. If you are talking at noon, she is trying to get done. If you guys are talking at 3 PM, she is trying to eat dinner.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:12:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fumblerful- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:15:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is that it's actually a good thing she is 6 hours ahead of you, otherwise she could show up at your office.
Yikes.
yunusdemir ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:31:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd like to apologize on behalf of the Netherlands. Although she is right, we are still 6 hours ahead of you
crimewavedd ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 22:07:43 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So true. It's because of this that even when people ask me where I'm from, they will usually act as if I'm bragging when in reality I'm just answering their question.
That being said, I've lived out west for five years and still have my New York ID.
throwawayplsremember ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:47:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People brag about being from New York?
Tesseract14 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:23:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I went to Hawaii recently and during a tour we all shared where we were from. There were people from UK, Australia, China, all over the world. When we said we were from New York, half the bus started murmuring excitedly like we were some sort of exotic creature. It was one of the most awkward experiences of my life.
Dick_Demon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah we do.
ssbmhero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:00:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes I just say directly where im from because new york is so diverse, but then i just sound like a dick becuase im from manhattan. Which is good because it skips them figuring that out on their own.
hannahstohelit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Though I currently live in Manhattan, when people ask where I'm from I generally give the name of my county. They have almost invariably never heard of it. I say, "it's upstate" (I'm mostly talking to people from NYC/LI so anything that isn't there is upstate to them) "but as far south as you can get without being New Jersey." They still generally don't know what I'm talking about but just nod and smile because what do they want, a demonstration on freaking Google Maps?
ImpendingSenseOfDoom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:14:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rockland County?
hannahstohelit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeppp.
Smallest non-NYC county in NY by area REPRESENT!
ImpendingSenseOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I find it shocking that people in NYC or LI would not have heard of it
hannahstohelit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:45 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, I know NYC/LIers who have never crossed the GW. And even that just takes them to NJ. But even for those who take the Tappan Zee, which takes you literally straight into Rockland, on their way upstate, people have no idea that the county where they are is called Rockland. They're only there on the highway for about fifteen minutes before it turns into the Garden State or 17.
The only things about Rockland that people have ever heard of are Bear Mountain and possibly Nyack. And they still don't know what county it is. I have seen people who just thought that Rockland stuff was in Orange County (which they've heard of because of Woodbury Commons)- and even Westchester, which is NYCers' default assumption whenever they hear of a place that's not in NYC.
To be fair, I've only heard of it because I live here. I couldn't name a quarter of the counties in the state, let alone identify a place by the county it's in. The farthest north I can accurately figure out is basically Ulster. And I actually live in that part of the state. NYC/LIers are pretty oblivious about any part of the state that's not an island, except maybe Westchester.
hannahstohelit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Though I currently live in Manhattan, when people ask where I'm from I generally give the name of my county. They have almost invariably never heard of it. I say, "it's upstate" (I'm mostly talking to people from NYC/LI so anything that isn't there is upstate to them) "but as far south as you can get without being New Jersey." They still generally don't know what I'm talking about but just nod and smile because what do they want, a demonstration on freaking Google Maps?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing? It's a huge city full of diverse types of people. If someone told me they were from New York I wouldn't take it as a brag at all unless they were using a tone that implied they were bragging. Then I'd just be confused.
Kiwi_bri ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:59:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I travelled I used to get asked all the time where I was from.
I would say New Zealand - and they would always come back with "What part?"
I could only answer "All of me you dumb cunt"
joker_wcy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:28:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The following question is so relatable to me. When I was in tw when people found out I'm from hk, they would have this follow-up question. However, they wouldn't know where it is after giving them the answer. Why even ask into detail?
krissy2287 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:40:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm surprised to hear this. I never really talk to anyone i donโt know, anywhere. Theyโre breaking the code. (Brooklyn NY by the way ๐คฃ)
FormalChicken ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:16:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I notice the worst offenders are anyone from a rival sports team. NYers in Boston are worse than NYers everywhere else.
waywardson0 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:44:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually a blessing and a curse. My cousins and I were jay walking in Hong Kong, and the moment we got to the other side of the street, three police officers were ready to pounce on us. The moment we said we were from New York, they immediately lightened up and let us on our merry way.
lospantaloonz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brooklyn checking in. I've literally never done this because it's incredibly pretentious, but my pop who lives upstate starts all conversations with "I'm from ny, but upstate".
Thnewkid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir, being from NY is NOT a personality trait."
ChipRockets ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing that people do?
FenwayPatriot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just wear a Red Sox hat everywhere. It accomplishes the same thing.
Nyrrix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll have you know I'm from Northern NY and don't--
Shit...
M1SSION101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno. Aussies are pretty bad when it comes to not telling ppl where you're from. Myself and others keep getting called out for it
nfsnobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah cause why the fuck would you?
i_give_two_fucks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Chicagoeans don't even have to tell you, they're already wearing their stupid gay flag all over their body as a hat, socks, shirt, and straight up flag adorned as a cape
Myzyri ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being from Chicago, I can tell you that Chicagoans do this too. They also bullshit their location. If theyโre in the far suburbs, they still tell you theyโre from Chicago and then later slip in a clarification like, โWell, Iโm not actually in the city, Iโm in Naperville which is like an hour south of the city.โ
But in-person you can tell if theyโre from the city or from the suburbs by the way they say โChicago.โ
In the city, they say Shih-cah-go. If theyโre from the suburbs, theyโll say Shih-caw-go (this is actually the proper way).
iwishiwasamoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once on a road-trip from Chicago to Montreal with some guys. We crossed the Canadian border between Detroit and Toronto. As we crossed, we had to stop at the border guard station. The driver rolled down the window. The border guard asked "How many?" The driver confidently replied "American." The guard slowly blinked and said "How many Americans?" The driver turned beet red as the original question finally registered and replied "Uhh, five." Makes me wonder if that's a frequent occurrence for the border guards or if my friend's stupidity was noteworthy.
AppleDane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, when speaking to English people, I find it best to tell them I'm from Denmark, so they don't think I have a speech impediment and/or mental problems.
FalseBuddha ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:00:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a NY style pizza place and get the "it's not as good as the stuff in NY" line all the time. If New York is so fucking great then go back there and get out of my face with this pretentious garbage.
camaroXpharaoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:31:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Must be an east coast thing. Over here on the west coast it's people from California. "Know how to tell if somebody is from California? Don't worry, they'll tell you."
Cornhole_King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm from New York and I have to disagree. New Yorkers are definitely not the worst.
Anotheroneforkhaled ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:48:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm from NY and disagree with your disagreement. We are the worst. Maybe tied with California.
PoopyToots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Made me laugh
luckyhunterdude ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:13:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jersey by far worse.
"Hi I'm a guido for jawsey"
Me: "yeah i could tell by the way you slop your gum."
Ionlypost1ce ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess alotta people agree with you but I just don't get it. I'm assuming you've been to jersey right? Easily the most beautiful women in America (if you like brunettes) just perfect Italian chicks everywhere. Plus, to me, Jersey Shore is objectively the best reality show of all time. And I hate real world, road rules, the challenge, the bachelor, and basically every reality show ever. It's bizzarre to me. People act like, and think they hate NY/NJ, but Jersey Shore did some of the best ratings ever on MTV, and America elected Donald fucking Trump (whom I'm no fan of) president. The fact is we are more intersting, and talk better than the rest of the country, hands down. People make fun of us, but the truth is they hate us cuz they ain't us.
luckyhunterdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night. I enjoy Jersey due to the entertainment you provide. I also appreciate all the money you guys throw around at Wet Republic at the MGM, I never thought a guy like me would drink for free at a club in vegas due to other guys wanting to hear about my "cowboy" stories.
You know how Southern girls are stereo-typically considered "hot" with their daisy dukes, and southern drawl? and how southern guys are fat, denim blue overalls, date your own sister types? well for Jersey folks, the stereotype is reversed. Your guys are alright, but women are DOGS.
Ionlypost1ce ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know what, this actually helps me sleep easier, more jersey girls for me. Always makes me happy to hear other dudes have different tastes in women. Less competition, and more loving for all the ladies.
luckyhunterdude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heck yeah, win win man.
samOraytay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Alaskans are pretty bad about it too
kamikazi34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can spot us out of town by the way that we walk, way that we talk, cocky, the State of New York.
bootywarrior13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Badda bing!
Seiglerfone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Would you prefer they ended their conversations that way.
"I'm from New York, bye."
casino_night ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes! That means I don't have to talk to them anymore!
EXQUISITE_WIZARD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's only annoying when they do it because they want to impress you, not when they just want to say they're from out of town. That's probably why NYers are the worst offenders ๐
casino_night ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a license plate that read "FROM NY". I shit you not.
Chicken-n-Waffles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do you propose they start a conversation with a complete stranger? How do you start a conversation?
nfsnobody ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:55:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe with โHelloโ.
I know itโs daring and different, but it just might work!
casino_night ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm casino_night and I'm from..."
Shit, you're right. No other way to start a conversation.
dementored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like people from Arizona are bad about this. Everyone I've ever met who's lived there never stops talking about it
Twothousand2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Must be an American thing
nfsnobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What?
Is this a US thing? People starting a conversation saying where theyโre from?
That sounds pretty odd.
lawyerlady ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I visited America I kind of got the impression that a lot of Americans consider their state part of their name. Like they all start with "hi I'm Bob from Texas" it is weird and isolated to America but I would respond saying, "hi I'm lawyer lady, lovely to meet you." They would keep shaking my hands and nodding at me and smiling until I would say I was from Australia. Like it's not necessary information to know where I am from when I have never met you before today and I'm never going to see you again after today.... Americans should stop doing this
PizzaSlayer5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:13 on April 3, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We notice your accent, so we're interested in where you're from. Ours is a big country and many tourists we meet are fellow Americans, so meeting someone from somewhere like Australia is a first-time experience for many of us. We're just curious and want to learn more.
ScarsUnseen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Q: How can you tell someone's from Texas?
A: Believe me, they'll tell you.
pikay93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't mind that as long as they allow me to respond with where I'm from instead of simply talking about their place of origin over and over and over again.
LemonyTuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yo I'm from Yonkers
dagonundone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a NYer I hate this so much every time I go away with friends or family they have to tell everyone. No one is impressed, please stop.
Doip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even their goddamn Chryslers
Astrokiwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Though if you're from New Zealand or something, you can tell that people are desperately trying to figure out your accent until you tell them where you're from
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd rather that than asking me what I do. Dude, it's a Saturday afternoon, and I'm here drinking beer with you fine people. What I do for a living is sit there thinking about being here, and now that I'm here do we really want to be thinking about there?
iamaneviltaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only use it when, as I've moved around the us, the context of "I am not rural people" comes up. Country music, mudding, that sorta shit. "These words do not register." But I'm also out west. Cultures are pretty different, and "new yorker" is easy shorthand for the culture I grew up in, and how it shaped my personality. Aka: I can not work in public out here without pissing someone off, and I talk very fast.
Cali people do it too, tho. And that's a big fucking state.
beatrixskiddo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:07:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, people seem very curious when they see new yorkers in other states, I guess all those times people say โwhat are you doing all the way out hereโ gets to their heads and they start being assholes about it.
514X0r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought that was Texans.
NeverBeenStung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:46:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Texans are by far the worst about this.
MonkeyOnYourMomsBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In Ireland we get a lot of Americans tell us โIโm from Ireland!โ Because their grandparents abandoned it in 1912
krcook510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Colorado. I had a lady tell me last night that we were trying to rip her off because she's from New York.
ILikeLenexa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Boston is worse, they invented their own way of talking just to remind you where they're from. That's a factoid.
Arcane_Pozhar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:35:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But New York actually has cool stuff in it, unlike some states. ;)
petesmybrother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Deadass, my guy
xmu806 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...As a Texan, I'm offended that we're not in first place.
Ionlypost1ce ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:26:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Listen I'm from NY buddy, and if we weren't so much better and all of you so jealous maybe we'd stop reminding you. Look at all your upvotes! Insecure much America? In addition, we just assume you're fascinated and love us so much because you all keep coming here to visit and take our jobs.
anasiansenior ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm *clap* from *clap* the *clap* Bronx *clap* i *clap* dont *clap* take *clap* no *clap* shit *clap* from *clap* nobody *clap* and *clap* i *clap* clap *clap* with *clap* every *clap* single *clap* word *clap* dat *clap* i *clap* say *clap* when *clap* im *clap* angry *clap*
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:36:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Anotheroneforkhaled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The shithole of NY
DannyBoy7783 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bit of a wide brush you're painting with, bud. That area code includes 1/3 of the state.
SirRogers ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 04:16:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, we're from Wyoming."
"Don't worry, I won't hold that against you."
LeCacty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry" works too
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:53:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyomingite here. I would have laughed. I hope the guy had a sense of humor.
milk-rose ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
VeganPowerViolence ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:50:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wyoming party whats up fam
Darkraze ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:45:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Letโs get it boys
fohdoubleg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That ended quickly. Is this typical for Wyoming parties?
VeganPowerViolence ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You see, Wyoming parties don't actually exist because of how few people there are in the state. None of us ever have the same days off
gangien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man that looks weird. Sounds weird when I say it out loud too.
Entencio ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 01:43:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Default response is typically โIโm so sorry to hear.โ
Noble_Flatulence ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:08:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm form Nebraska!"
"On purpose?"
Zubat_Breeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My new go-to for these kinds of conversations
TerrorInTheDepths ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:00:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If he is from Wyoming, or has ever even been close to it, he understood.
7LeggedEmu ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 00:06:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Read it as Audrey Plaza
WildBillLickok ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 01:41:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Jackal_6 ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:31:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
SirRogers ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:18:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
davis98 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:18:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt you do it, Hitler.
littlecricket ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:22:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you fall in love with me.
Mastifyr ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:24:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read it in Archer's voice
shortsonapanda ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:37:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyoming is fake. They were CIA.
Pheanix9249 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:01:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows itโs Age Sex Location
AttackToast ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, you met almost 10% of the population of wyoming that day.
Texas_Indian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like Wyoming
marleybus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:51:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ELi5 for a non-american?
satanAMA ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:03:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's boring.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:21:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
FedoricallyEuphoric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyoming and Utah were the most memorable places I've visited in the States. WY might seem boring to many but if you like being outdoors it has a lot to offer.
marleybus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But it has Yellowstone and so many beautiful mountains, it's definitely higher on my bucket list than rotten California.
Teddie1056 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:28:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you are into outdoors stuff, Wyoming is a paradise.
alongdaysjourney ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, Yellowstone is nice but thatโs in the far western corner of the state. Once you get out of the mountains there really isnโt anything going on, both naturally or culturally. Do a google maps flyover of I-80 to get a good idea about the rest of the state. Nothing wrong with rural if that your thing, but Wyoming has a whole lot of nothing. For reference there are 30 American cities that have a higher population than the entire state.
chinchillazilla54 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:27:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh right I forgot it also has the supervolcano that could end all life on the continent at any moment
what a selling point
Grymninja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:16:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think you guys could communicate your distaste for this place better if you tried lmao.
throwawayplsremember ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:51:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But people just said it was boring
daviedanko ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:14:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know you could like both?
50fuckingcabbages47 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:21:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Edgy
notyetfoxykit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:02:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
California's hella beautiful though, especially the north coast sections. Massive ancient redwoods, temperate rainforest, gorgeous shorelines. Farther south you have the sequoias, mountains, and beautiful deserts.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:13:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Beardless_Shark ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a proud Wyomingite, I'd like to disagree! Wyoming has beautiful landscapes in my opinion, and great mountains. Many people think Jackson and Yellowstone are all it has to offer, but I enjoy the other landscapes. They're not as monotonous as Kansas cornfields; they are vast and peaceful. They are good for contemplating life and other things.
As an added bonus, I still have good ping for League of Legends!
Donovan- ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't tell them it's a good place. If people think it's a miserable state they will have no reason to invade. I think a small influx of people is crucial to wyoming's identity.
Beardless_Shark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:51:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's right! Wyoming is actually a wasteland riddled with meth and little else!
Grymninja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:16:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How's the tinder game in Wyoming? Probably like 20 people of the opposite sex and at least one is a sibling?
Darkraze ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:47:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If youโre at the university of Wyoming, itโs popping. If you are not, then you will be matching with your siblings.
Yupstillhateme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:54:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
....niiice.
Beardless_Shark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately I can't speak to the Tinder game, I'm still in high school, and I haven't had a need for it yet (nor the age).
maddermonkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a state with barely any people and only two escalators.
atomtree ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:56:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought the same thing when I was 16. I was born and raised in California, And couldn't imagine another state compared. But now that I've seen all 50, and lived in a dozen, I'd take Wyoming over California (aside from those magnificent Sierra Nevada's) in a heartbeat
GomezFigueroa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs actually really funny. I imagine you saying this after a half hearted safety check and kicking the lever to make the coaster slowly roll away.
raialexandre ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:40:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I googled Wyoming thinking that it was somewhere in China or Korea.
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:08 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The origination of โorange chickenโ
atglobe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first instinct to โHi, weโre from Wyomingโ was to reply, โBummer.โ
Curtis542 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have to tell people we're from Wyoming beforehand so that they don't accidentally think we should know what the hell we're doing in an actually populated place.
FRUIT_FETISH ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But to be fair, why would you introduce yourself that way?
LehighAce06 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Different circumstances but I've definitely done that about Wyoming too...
The saddest part was the person didn't even pick up on the heavy sarcasm and thought I was being genuine... I kinda saved it by faking sincerity for another minute until the conversation changed.
matthias7600 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:44:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyoming is a very cool state.
NeverBeenStung ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wyoming is awesome though. Some of the greatest natural beauty I've seen.
gurenkagurenda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People are actually pretty bad at detecting sarcasm without sufficient context. Unless your tone is really exaggerated, I would guess nine times out of ten, the other person would just assume you really like Wyoming.
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:08:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that response? I thought that's the kind of thing Americans say to be friendly
wtfiskwanzaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmfao you asshole
scientistapplyingdis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh what ride at GA was it? :)
peoplestolemyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, my favorite place.
scubasista ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is a very Chandler Bing-y response ahah
amdufrales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason this is my favorite so far
sythesplitter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm from california" would probably be my response to be honest
maddermonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite one because the family probably legitimately hoped you would say something awesome in response.
wonderling_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why did I read your reply in Tommy Wisseuโs voice?
OraDr8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in tourism and did the whole โso where are you fromโ? The person said โCanberraโ and I unthinkingly answered โIโm sorryโ. Luckily he laughed and said โyepโ. (Canberra is the capital of Australia and therefore full of politicians).
someredditorguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhhh, yes! Wyoming!
Kessarean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't stop imagining this in Owen Wilson's voice
Hudsons_Heroes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should have said, "Well we're not in Kansas anymore!" - I bet they would have appreciated that too.
vizard0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Better than "I'm sorry." I know I've replied that way to people from certain parts of New Jersey.
juicydeucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair Wyoming sucks
Darkraze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly youโve never been to the Tetons
juicydeucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I havenโtโIโve just driven across the entire state when I was moving from California to Connecticut. It was the most boring and driest stretch of land out of all the states, including Nevada which is also not very exciting.
Darkraze ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:04:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you get a chance, the Tetons will change your opinion immediately.
juicydeucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโre actually the second person to mention that to me I think. Iโll check it out one of these days when I head back west again. Thanks for the recommendation
anxi0usity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am I to understand that you were 16 years old and managing a rollercoaster...?
may_june_july ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 00:22:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why people don't like Californians
Hoof_Hearted12 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:42:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who just randomly tells someone where they're from?
pumpyfrontbum ยท 6162 points ยท Posted at 21:04:44 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in the H&M call centre and this woman's package didn't arrive on the day our website said it would, bearing in mind this was an order for H&M basic items which came to about $50. She said that because she had to take a day off work we now owed her lost wages which amounted to $850.
I said to her "You took a day off work were you would have earned $850 to wait at home for a package that is worth $50, do you seriously expect me to believe that?"
Long story short, she hung up when I saw through the obvious bullshit.
S-Elena ยท 1792 points ยท Posted at 23:53:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly if I said this I wouldnโt have regretted it. Lol. You said what you needed to say.
pumpyfrontbum ยท 583 points ยท Posted at 23:55:53 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha. In all fairness, I was due to leave the job within a month or so. I was defo feeling a bit more confident than usual :P
Absoletion ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 02:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a manager at a call center. Left to go back to school. After I put in my 2 week notice, I was untouchable. I didnโt care what I said or if I got in trouble for it. I gave out huge discounts that we were only authorized to give if the customer asked about it to random people if they were nice. Called a bunch of people out on their shit too. My last day we had an escalation (customer wanted to speak with a manager) about 15 minutes before I left forever.
Steve wouldnโt let me take it... he knew what I wouldโve done. Why you gotta ruin my fun like that, Steve?
pumpyfrontbum ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:27:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel your pain. A lot of people in my call center seemed to think the managers got it off easy but I actually felt for them. You guys have to take the batshit crazy customers that we couldn't satisfy. I'm glad you got your moment in the sun ;)
Meades_Loves_Memes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:29:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking Steve.
creativelyuncreative ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:10:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh god I did something like this once, I was working as a home health nurse and getting paid for 40 hours of work but doing 50 a week, I had an awful commute and I'd already given my resignation letter so I had no fucks left to give. I went to a patient's house and she and her husband were both heavy, heavy smokers. They also had cats. I'm allergic to both and had to step out to use my inhaler at one point (to illustrate how bad the apartment smelled). Throughout the entire appointment they kept asking what everything cost, and I kept repeating that home health was covered under their insurance, which included nursing and PT and OT visits. They said they didn't have enough money. They said this 5-6 times, and my patient also kept repeating that she has COPD and needs a Bipap machine but couldn't afford it. I finally snapped after 30 minutes of back and forth, and I asked why she still smoked and bought cigarettes if she had COPD, asthma, and not enough money for a Bipap. Luckily she didn't get offended (I regretted saying the words as they left my mouth, lol), she just said she likes smoking cigarettes and didn't want to quit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:34:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE SHIPPED IT TO YOUR OFFICE LIKE AN ADULT WOULD HAVE."
esr360 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 08:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually not totally inconceivable that someone has a day rate of $850, and they decided to take a day off to coincide with their package delivery. In which case, taking the day off was probably a pretty big deal for them, and I too would be pissed if my package didn't come.
hmmIseeYou ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah no that's inconceivable. Anyone making 850 a day can have packages shipped to work or is living somewhere which will hold the package.
esr360 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's unlikely, sure, but it's certainly not inconceivable. Anyway, it's still not an excuse to demand the money - I'm just saying it's a possible scenario, no matter how unlikely.
Sealioo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Inconceivable is the most fitting word possible to describe a scenario in which someone possessing the skills to command $850 a day will forego a day's earnings to wait for a $50 order from H&M. It's not impossible, but its definitely inconceivable.
Yvgar ยท 1148 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You make $100+/hr and you're buying this cheap shit?"
Sunfried ยท 530 points ยท Posted at 02:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. "You make over $200k with no coping skills?"
noctrnalsymphony ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:42:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for surgeons. You'd be surprised.
AlwaysTurning ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:25:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who has done corporate sales... it's more common than you think.
Gryff99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:45:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also she makes 100 an hour but for some reason is on hourly and not salary.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:35:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You expect the guy in a $10,000 suit to believe this? Come on!"
InsanePurple ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 02:41:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like H&M :(
aznanimality ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 03:08:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same but not enough to take a day off of a $100/hr job just to wait for a package.
Why not just have it delivered to your work, if you're making that much money surely your company values you enough.
BlueBerrySyrup ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:48:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For real, I make no where near that. Have everything shipped to the office (cause it gets stolen most of the time if shipped home).
InsanePurple ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah for sure lol
Birchyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair - I make more than 100 an hour and I shop at cheaper places than H&M.
Money disappears into thin air if you donโt keep an eye on it.
CoongaDelRay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I need your job!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You make that kind of money but are paid by the hour?"
iaywwnm ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 01:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow. The entitlement of some people.
Piee314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would hope the person was just making at attempt, just on the off chance it might work. And honestly, what's the worst that could happen? I will often ask if a price is negotiable if I think there's a chance it might be. If the answer is "no", then fine, no harm done. This is well beyond that but I sort of admire her guts to try it on.
CherrySlurpee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My company actually tracks excessive requests for credits, if it gets too bad we send certified letters saying that we can continue service but they're to cease asking for credits, if they continue we close their account.
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you just refuse to give them credits?
CherrySlurpee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:10:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We do.
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I meant instead of closing their account. Seems like you could keep their account open whilst refusing to give them credits - you get more money this way right?
CherrySlurpee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It costs money every time they call in to make requests.
Don't get me wrong, these are only in excessive situations - I'm talking like 20+ calls a week over an extended period of time. At this point you're costing our company money
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yeah, makes sense.
SalamandrAttackForce ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:33:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of believe her. When people blame someone in this way, they total up every possible point that could have earned them money and grasp at straws, like missing work somehow cost them some potential work bonus. When I was working in a restaurant that did deliveries, I had this woman freak out on us for a messed up order. We apparently not only owed her the $25 for food, but money for her to buy her kids a new dinner somewhere else, gas money to drive there, and money for a sitter while she went and got dinner. My point is, people are crazy
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 21:29:06 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man, hookers sure have gotten expensive
kalslacg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:39:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
850 is an reasonable pull at any truck stop. That's 15 bucks a blowjob by a little under 60 truckers that's can be done in a day I'm sure
Cheesy_Potatoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:04:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man that's 5 blowjobs an hour if you work for 12 hours...that's like 1 every 12 minutes! If you work for 12 hours! Damn I can't even imagine...
Faustias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
is that what H in H&M stands for?
pumpyfrontbum ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 21:30:43 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do hookers have fixed addresses? lol
Imalwaysneverthere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:18:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she telecommutes
sdrawkcabdaertseb ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. One for the left ankle, one for the right.
J2MES ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:00:50 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No fixed abode
Tje199 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She could just make it up doing the evening shift.
goblinqueenac ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:16:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I will never understand why people thing we compensate for "lost wages"
This one guy says he moved here recent from the US, his roommate had a heart attack, he himself fell off his motorbike and broke his leg, and has a concussion oh..and he's got lung cancer. I needed to compensate him because he missed a day at work. I applauded him and said how impressive it was he was still working with all his disabilities.
It was half sarcasm, half honestly. I'm still not sure why I said it. He was pissed because he failed our credit check but wanted up to make an exception. He talked to my colleague who told him he should be in the hospital, not on the phone with us. So, good times that day.
CherrySlurpee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:57:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a cell phone company and work with escalated situations. You have no idea how many people claim to run their thousand-dollar-a-day business off a $120 phone. Then when it doesn't work they're asking for credits to match their loss of income. I tell them it would laterally be more cost efficient to throw that phone away and buy a new one. No one has ever given me a proper response on that one.
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also, a person who makes 850 dollars a day can probably send packages to the office so to avoid the very situation that she put herself into.
CGY-SS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:46:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate everything you do as the first line of defence from these types of people coming in to the store. You're my hero.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:01:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
esr360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought so too, but some guy above is equating the ability to get packages delivered to your work with high earning jobs. Sounds like hogwash to me, though.
blackdesertnewb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well. Hereโs an example where this is actually highly true. Iโm a truck driver. I leave my house for very extended periods of time. If my packages donโt show up on time, itโs a big deal. And yes, every day I drive I earn at least that. Granted, I spend a ton of it in fuel/insurances for all things and the money I need to pay for the truck (itโs more expensive than a lot of houses). So yeah. If I take a day off work to wait for a package I badly need and it doesnโt show up, yeah. Iโve lost a LOT of money. And if I have to order those items and to get them I have to be home.. well.
I bring this up because this exact situation actually happens to me a whole lot. Amazon packages that sit on my porch for weeks cause they were late and I had to leave. Some get stolen which is also a hassle. Or I pay double the price on things to get them shipped certified but even that sucks.
Also, there are a whole lot of truck drivers out there that have to deal with the same things all the time. So, to me, that story checks out.
pumpyfrontbum ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:49:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was actually in UK pounds. I'm in NZ and don't have the pound symbol on my keyboard so just used the $ instead. I get what you mean and yes in an ideal world all of our packages would arrive exactly when we expect/want them too, but to make a company liable for your lost wages is a bit absurd. It'll be right there in most companies terms and conditions that they are not responsible for delays or missed work etc.
blackdesertnewb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh lol. No no. Donโt get me wrong, thatโs some crazy talk to try to get that money. No, you make a decision to not make it because you want the package. I was just mostly sharing because a lot of replies and the original post were very disbelieving that such a situation could exist.
pumpyfrontbum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see. Sorry my bad. I doesn't sound believable in my head either, but she was legit serious about requesting this amount of money. Anyhoo, she never got it in the end :P
SalamandrAttackForce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Get is shipped to a relative/friend's house? Pay them to hold it for you even, it'd be cheaper
2074red2074 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, I'll send my order from Giant Dildos LLC to a friend to hold.
complimentarianist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
what is "basic items"?
tinywishformontreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basic as in plain items from 'basics' clothing section that people usually stock up on, like blank simple tee shirts, leggings, etc
AliceInWonderplace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's really the only right thing to say though.
I know that you have to let the customer always be right and all that, but back when I worked in customer support my manager was pretty clear on that sometimes you just have to speak plainly because not everyone understand that you're trying to be diplomatic.
Mr_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't she take it as leave? Or as a sick day? She still would have been paid for it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Love that username
wjandrea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had something similar. Customer kept saying "You're costing me money right now!" when fixing their internet took 30 minutes longer than expected. This was Sunday evening, and we had just comped them more than 100$, so I just ignored it.
Whackles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cause nobody ever works on Sunday evening? I have yelled at my isp for failing (again) on a Sunday evening making me have to cancel an upgrade I was going to do.
wjandrea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Forgot to mention that it was probably the computer causing the issue. I mentioned Sunday evening because that's when we have the least staff, so things sometimes take longer.
out-on-a-farm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can write a book about customers who didn't receive their package on time.
One time, had a mom call saying her child didn't get his shoes and the tracking said they were delivered. Told them the usual, check with neighbors/side door/bushes/other people in the house. They were adamant that the shoes were not there. Small town, call the post office. Gave the post office the address and size of package.
Post Office Manager: "Hey John, did you deliver a package to 23 Main Street today?" John (in background): "Yeah, handed it to the boy, mom was in right behind him" (Apparently this guy had the route for 20+ years)
Back on the phone with the mom, told her what the post office said, she hung up on us.
spitfire07 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a home improvement store and we actually did once pay a customer because they took a day off of work for a delivery. If you're one of those unfortunate people who don't get paid vacation I do understand how screwed up that is if you had a delivery or installation or something and they didn't show. An install of carpeting or refrigerator I understand more because that's a set appointment. But a package, you can never trust when they say they are going to be delivered actually will on that day.
AngryFace1986 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh i'm not 100% against this woman's logic.
Urdeshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it were the case, someone who makes 200k+ a year can afford to lose 850 bucks.
LOTR4eva1 ยท 6019 points ยท Posted at 23:59:22 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my time to shine.
Was 17, working at a Meijer, slightly older gentleman comes up with a basket on his arm, starts unloading groceries. Nothing too unusual, except as I'm packing the bags on the carousel, he's struggling to keep up reloading his little basket. He didn't seem old enough to really be struggling, but I figured maybe something was wrong and so I innocently asked, "Do you need a hand?"
Guy shoots me a look and stares full eye contact at me for like a minute. I'm confused, thinking maybe he misheard me, maybe a little cognitively impaired, and open my mouth to repeat myself. He smiles, pulls down the sleeve of his shirt, and reveals he in fact has a prosthetic hand.
I never understood the phrase "melt into the ground" until that moment, I was almost in tears I was so embarrassed, but fortunately the guy recognized I wasn't being a glib asshat, I was just trying to help him, and was kind enough to let me off the hook.
turtleprincess24 ยท 2524 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's another joke in there about being let off the one armed guy's hook.
jaogiz ยท 186 points ยท Posted at 05:04:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He shows you his fake hand.
You say, โOh, I guess youโre off the hook then, huh?โ
-Reddit_Account- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 11:22:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is how you get fired
barbos007 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:50:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Him: ''I'm going to beat your ass!'' You: With what?
NOTbelligerENT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:59:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This comment is under appreciated. Have an upvote.
Zeruvi ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:17:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Later that evening the cashier was murdered in the famous man door hook hand car door
well_damm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:47:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Arrrggghhh
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:13:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
IM A MONSTER!!!
JimTheReader ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:37:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs why you always leave a note
Hot_Rod_81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
RICHARD KIMBLE
Djak345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:21 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too soon princess
7_t_7 ยท 1355 points ยท Posted at 01:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's an old term in sales for a customer who needs to consult their husband/wife before buying: "The one-legger."
I once had a visiting sales manager from another district ask why a customer didn't buy, and said "Oh, he's a one-legger."
After the sales manager left my coworker informed me he had a prosthetic leg.
SanchoBlackout69 ยท 283 points ยท Posted at 04:25:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wife's basketball team has a blonde girl that has a deformed left arm. There is another blonde girl who just cannot dribble with her left hand. I noted to another spectator "that blonde one has no left hand"
DickieJohnson ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At least you didn't say after "someone needs to give her a hand."
MrMastodon ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 09:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Guy who tried to shake the hand of a Dude with no hands. Dude took it in stride. A few weeks later, Guy sees Dude somewhere and busts out laughing because he remembered how stupid he'd been in trying to shake Dudes hand.
He didn't come across well either time but he's a really nice Person.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:09:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're German, right? I can tell by your capitalisation of nouns.
MrMastodon ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 11:30:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, I was trying to differentiate the Guy from the Dude and thought it would be funny to capitalise Person as if it were a seperate entity. So, not German, just easily entertained.
JustinWendell ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:15:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs the little things that keep you going I bet.
Nezn27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:17:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very German of them
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ich verstehe.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:48:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A girl I went to school with had only half an arm. Her name was Annabel. All her best mates, teachers, parents, friends called her Armabel. She dug it.
elagergren ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 06:12:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a coworker do something sorta similar when he loudly announced, โHey, itโs James Brown!โ (referring to another coworker who was singing & dancing with a mop) right as a black guy walked in.
JustAnotherLemonTree ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:45:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh jesus.
jsprgrey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:33:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where did this originate? I've never heard the phrase before.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is that one leg can't go anywhere without the other.
Monster_in_a_Costume ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seems like it has something to do with whoโs wearing the pants, but thatโs just my guess.
Bitch_WhatDaFuq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking it could be "one leg" of a relay
merc08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing a shoe store.
nakedwithoutmyhoodie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Knew a guy with a prosthetic leg. Funniest thing I ever heard was when I asked him how he'd been (hadn't seen him in a while) and he responded without missing a beat, "Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking competition!" I was laughing so hard, I actually had to sit down.
Diavolo222 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OooOh shit...
Romeo_horse_cock ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:58:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kirby? That's what I did and yeah one leggers are a bitch. Funny thing is my bf was selling them too and he is a real one legger amputee and what not. Used to shock the hell out of em and made jokes on that all the time. They always loved his IHOP joke Edit: guys I don't like Kirby anymore it was just an experience that I happened to go through. Downvoting because I used to work there and mentioned it? That's dumb but oh well
7_t_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Mattresses here.
asongbirdsings ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 02:55:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My husband once was absently browsing store shelves when as associate approached him and asked if he needed a hand with anything. His always-gotta-dad-joke response was to turn to him and say, "No thanks, I have twooouh..."
Associate only had one hand.
LOTR4eva1 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:50:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Smooth ๐คฃ
asongbirdsings ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:22:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not the last of his MANY shining moments in cringe.
therest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:06:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well shit don't leave us hanging!
asongbirdsings ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 14:12:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sure! Sorry, I'm currently hospitalized and on mobile so reaponse times aren't that great.
Again, at a store. He was standing in line with people on either side of him, waiting to reach the cashier and finalise his purchase. He's boredly browsing his phone, not paying too much attention to what's going on around him. The gentleman behind him sneezes (coughs? I can't remember husband's retelling of that detail) and scares a fart outta husband's poopchute. It wasn't exactly quiet; more like he jumped from the surprise and someone played a bad, brassy note on a trumpet from the seat of his pants.
Cue instant awkwardness from everyone in his immediate vicinity, most especially the gentleman behind him who was apparently startled by husband's pants-music. The smell was also apparently NOT subtle, and was a slow-moving, hot and shitty cloying-at-your-senses type of ass fragrance. He wanted to run, try and escape, melt into the floor, whatever he could to try and escape but said he felt trapped in by his need to finish the purchase which included things we needed for our toddler daughter IMMEDIATELY when he returned home. So he champed it out, staring wide-eyed at anything but other store patrons and inspecting the costs of items in/adjusting the sliding doors of the frozen novelty cooler he was standing next to at the time. Finally made it up to the cashier, who awkwardly greeted him (essentially this entire fiasco was witnessed and experienced by the whole checkout line) and finished his purchase before nearly running from the store to make his escape back home.
Edit: I checked with husband; the gentleman behind him had tapped him on his shoulder to alert him to the line moving forward when my husband fear-farted.
therest ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no! haha your poor husband, what a trooper. He sounds like a pretty funny guy!
Also I'm sorry to hear that you're in the hospital, I hope you recover soon!
asongbirdsings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:05:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha he really is! It drives me up the wall often, but that's just a part of who he is and it brings laughter into my life which I appreciate so much.
Thank you!! I've been stuck in here forever, it seems, but I'm holding out hope for a quick release. Maybe tomorrow will finally be the day. ๐ค
AlexZander ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:23:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working late at a grocery store as a cashier. There was another cashier, and a bagger working. of course, we got swarmed out of nowhere and the line was backing up. I said "sorry for the wait, we're a bit short-handed right now." and the bagger comes walking quickly up to help, and of course she's the employee that doesn't have an arm.
The look I got from the customer was something I will never forget.
Justgreatnow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:11:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If I were the customer, it would have taken everything in me to avoid laughing at that.
mxrulez731 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:09:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One handed guy here, the number of people that ask me if i need a hand and then realise what they said is amazing. I just giggle, normally they are genuinely trying to help and i dont take offence easily anyway.
BaconExplosion ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 10:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"No thanks, I'm all right."
Pescefish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:20:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stop :,)
fender5string ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:31:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I used to work maintenance at a golf course a similar thing happened to me.
It was about 7 am and I was on the slowest machine we had (bunker rake). As I was driving up the fairway I noticed a golfer with a really unusual swing.
I pulled up to the green and waited for his group to finish.
As he walked off the green and back to his cart I called out "That's a really unusual swing! I'm impressed you hit the ball so well." As the words were leaving my lips I saw he had a prosthetic hand.
He didn't respond and I meekly covered up with "Still better than me....ha..."
I then made my awkwardly slow escape on the bunker rake as his friends stared daggers at me.
StuckAtWork124 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:17:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, you did nothing wrong, his friends seemed kinda dickish if they react like that to every innocent thing
Can't even assume the mitigation of it being a new injury if he's already doing really well with his golf swing too
Snote85 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:15:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you know that it's possible to take someone's left hand and reattach it to someone's right wrist? I fucking didn't. Not until I was a host at a steak house and this family came in. This was back in the nineties and so didn't pay any attention to the fact the dude was smoking, so much as the fact that it looked like he was using his pinkey and ring finger to hold his cigarette... that's odd.
I say, "Smoking then?" and start to turn when I realize his entire hand is backwards. It fucking floors me. I am walking to their table thinking about this and go back to my station after seating them. They are the only ones in the restaurant at this point.
The waitress comes over a few minutes later and says, "Why did you seat someone smoking in the nonsmoking section?" to which I yelped and ran over and explained what I'd done. I asked if they wanted to move to the section where the dude could smoke but he was fine with staying there. I still feel horrible about that but in my defense that's just not a sight you're accustomed to seeing in that setting.
LOTR4eva1 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:20:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What in the actual knick-knack-paddy-whacking fuck?
Snote85 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:21:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I. Fucking. Know. I still wonder if I fucking imagined it. The event is vivid in my mind but I've revisited it a few times over the years and it still skeeves me out.
Carnal_Apple ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:04:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"off the hook..."?
FrailDogg ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:58:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a customer with only one leg. He HIMSELF then informed me of his favorite restaurant, IHOP. Made me laugh for a solid ten minutes.
In_between_minds ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
เฒ _เฒ
PoopingProbably ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:44:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You remind me of my coworker.
We have a new client at our office. Middle aged women. She only has one arm.
My coworker, Reggie is sitting with her. Making initial small talk. I hear him go.
"So, how's that arm doing?"
She just gives him a blank stare. "Not well."
Reggie went beet red. The rest of the meeting was very awkward. I asked him afterwards wtf that was about and he said he thought her arm was in a sling, rather than missing entirely.
milkman_eyeballs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:51:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this one time my brother and i were at a grocery store doing that โput your arms in between my arm holes and pretend your arms are mineโ thing and weโre having a fun time doing and my mom shoots us a look and is like โSTOPโ through gritted teeth.
we look over and thereโs a guy, with no arms, sitting in one of those motorized shopping carts, staring right at us.
neBneT ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 01:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Upvote because I saw the word "Meijer". Wish I could double up because you didn't say Meijers ๐คฆ๐พโโ๏ธ
LOTR4eva1 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:57:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I originally had it as so, but then I feared some non-Midwesterner would feel the urge to correct me, so I fought my native roots and made it singular. ;)
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:56:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a roommate in college that apostrophed everything. There was Meijer's, Aldi's, Kroger's and my personal favorite: Family Fare's.
He was pretty much my second-favorite roommate though so he got a free pass.
Paula-Abdul-Jabbar ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:28:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Us midwesterners also like to put โTheโ in front of the names of stores.
โLetโs go to The Walmart.โ
TangledPellicles ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:06:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And universities, apparently. Every time I see THE Ohio State I want to punch whoever came up with it.
LOTR4eva1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just want to punch anyone who likes Ohio State, regardless of the use of a definitive article, but thatโs also a Michigan v Ohio thing. Itโs instinctive, like babies grabbing onto fingers or people flinching.
HappyGummyBear7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds so pretentious especially when people say it in commercials or sporting events. THE Ohio State University.
klparrot ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:30:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
chinchillazilla54 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma (RIP) liked to talk about the things she'd seen on That Facebook.
Soulbrandt-Regis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
South East here. My mom fucking does this, people at work found out it irritates me, they all started doing it.
As a writer, it drives me fucking insane.
CockyKokki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Firstly, come to Finland, Finnish language has no articles, so they're not used much when speaking English. Secondly I wonder if this came from French as they seem to put le/la/l' in front of every noun.
bonerjamz12345 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:46:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how do you know if someone's a writer
Soulbrandt-Regis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a tech writer, so, you know: profession.
But here, let me help, "they will tell you, yadda yadda." Haha, like Vegans. So funny.
Anyway. Still a worthless article in a sentence that doesn't belong.
kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in the midwest it took me a few days to realize that when people talked about "meyer" they meant Meijer. In my head I was pronouncing it like it was a Spanish word.
Catleesi87 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody knows its โthe meijersโ
GunNNife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meijer's Thrifty Acres baby
GrandMasterBen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:22:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Related story: My grandpa was once at this woman's house, and she offered to grab him a beer, without missing a beat he said, "I can grab it myself, what do I got a club foot?". The woman's son had a club foot, and my grandpa had let it slip his mind.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:03:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad worked in the NHS as a district nurse and he once helped this old lady who had no legs do some shopping, he was pushing her wheelchair and absent-mindedly commented "oh look, that's a nice pair of slippers there!" And she just looked at him and said, "...you bastard."
MonkeyDavid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually upvoted this after the first sentence. It just got better after that.
askdoctorjake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
-"Worked at Meijer"
Hi there fellow midwesterner!
ACoolerUsername ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I met a man with a prosthetic hand whilst working self-scan in a Meijer. He was the subject of some rude womanโs desires to cut in line, so I helped him bag. He was just happy that I didnโt call his prosthesis an โitโ.
SafeDivide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ thats friggin epic! You in GR? I love my meijer in standale!
AlabasterButthole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:33:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly would have flashed the biggest grin at him upon the reveal and jumped in to help anyway. That's hilarious.
gumbrilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That happened to me! Only it was at customs coming into the UK, and the guy was trying to open my soft suit bag by laying his prosthetic hand flat so he could get the zip to move.. donโt recommend.
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"And that's why you always leave a note!"
FrozenCaveMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
busterbluthOT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like the cut of your jib son, always willing to lend a helping hand.
Vrach88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar, non-customer related moment like that.
My mates and I liked to play table tennis at this one place. We had just finished, I gave him cash to pay for us and dipped out for a smoke while he gets that done.
Standing in front of the place, guy comes out and is limping down a few steps that are there. I sympathetically ask "Sprained your ankle playing sir?" and he just looks at me and goes "Nope, don't have one to sprain." Fml
ultranothing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:35:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"That's the thing I'm sensitive about!"
stokelydokely ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a supermarket in high school. I was on register, and a fairly oblivious and dumb mid-40s co-worker was bagging. I greeted my customer, and she immediately made a gesture that indicated that she's deaf (I don't know, I think she kind of shook her head and pointed to her ear). I acknowledge it and went on ringing her up.
The bagger tries to strike up a conversation with this woman. Noticing the bagger is speaking, the woman goes through similar gestures. At that point, the bagger says "Oh yeah honey, it's those allergies huh? They gettin everybody"
redmaniacs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:18:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"So is that a yes?"
alexsmiffers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember doing that exact thing with a delivery guy, he also had a prosthetic arm, and I asked, โneed a hand?โ Without realising. Felt bad all day after that :(
ZB43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
heh
reavesfilm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you, his other hand was a hook.
shikt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometime during my first months at university I saw a lecturer struggling to open a door while carrying a box of papers.
I ran over and said 'let me give you a hand', reaching around him to open the door.
He turned and glared at me, like full on death stare. Then he raised the box a little, showing me his stumps.
I know what you mean about wanting to melt into the ground...
ejeebs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, that guy sounds like a dick. It's a common expression.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Let you off the "hook." The puns are strong with this one.
TylerIsAWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There you go again.
Smalligan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So heโs a pirate now.
angry_snek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did he have a hook somewhere too though?
Namay_Hunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then he revealed his other hand was indeed a hook.
Crazydiamondd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a clinic for people with chronic illnesses. We have the odd patient in a wheelchair. I have accidentally told majority of them to "please take a seat" after they check in
Beastmodehawaii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hook, I get it!
ivix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hook! You've done it again.
znhunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I bet you he was fucking with you. Most people I've met with disabilities have a pretty good sense of humor about it.
Macho-Grande ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Related to your story but not really a customer faux pas.
Moved to a new area in work and thereโs a high level of general banter between everyone. Keen to settle in and make a good impression I try to join in and keep things light. Iโm last in a group going up the stairs and the bloke in front is shuffling his legs tightly together and waddling like heโs really clenching so I say loud enough for everyone to hear โWhatโs the matter John?! Are you bursting for a shit or something?! HAHAHA!โ.
Whole group stops simultaneously on the stairs and the guy turns around to me looking pretty pissed and says โNo Macho, I have a prosthetic leg. I take a little longer to climb stairs. Is that OK with you?โ
If I thought the fall down the stairs would have been enough to kill me Iโd have done it to spare my shame.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a care home and one of our residents was a bilateral amputee (both legs). One of our domestic staff was a young girl, absolutely lovely and hilarious, who used to go out all the time at weekends. She came in one day hungover, and it showed.
She went to clean this gentleman's room and he said 'God girl you look rough today, heavy night last night?' and she said 'Honestly Jim, I was absolutely legless'. You could hear him laughing from halfway across the building, she was mortified.
Keke3232 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Off the hook"
SentimentalTrooper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
rim shot
awe300 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Off the hook" omfg
NotFakingRussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:41:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
<sensible chuckle>
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Off his hook
DeliberateLiterate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:58:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The exact same situation happened to me but in reverse. I was working reception at a doctors clinic and asked a patient checking in for her health card. She was there for an injury to her hand which was all bandaged up and was making a big production about having to take her card out of her wallet with her good hand to show me, clearly using her bandage as an excuse with big sighs and huffs. She finally practically threw her wallet at me and said "you'll just have to do take the card out yourself, I only have one hand right now". So held up my missing -since-birth "hand" and said ya, me too. The look of mortification was so satisfying. We both had a laugh about it in the end and she was much nicer to me after that.
UnsavoryCrocodile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not cool, dude.
lab_23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said prosthetic hand! He had a hook?? What year was this
OkieMallen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHookโ
wetastelikejesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did this once, but instead of horror I got waaay more excited about it because it was the best prosthetic Iโd ever seen up close. Asked him how articulate it was, he gave me a smile and the bird.
boredbutemployed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a Kroger store and was helping a blind man and was looking all over for something that was right in front of my face. When I finally saw it I said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so blind! How did I not see that?" He said, "What did you say?!" I said, "Ugh... I said I'm so blonde!" I wanted to die.
Fun_Stick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:50:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Daaaaamn I felt embarrassed for you just reading this.
Photog77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:51:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking yearbook photos at an elementary school and a little 4th grader limps up to the chair and I said, "Oh did you hurt your foot?" She replied, "I have a prosthetic leg." Sure enough there were plastic toes sticking out through her sandals.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"do you need a hand?"
"Nah it's ok,I just got a new one. It's pretty handy."
notacareerserver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel better, my dad only had one hand and his favorite dad-joke to make was asking associates at stores, โcan you help me out, Iโm a little short-handed,โ or telling them he just needed a hand real quick while holding up his nub. My dad wouldโve cracked up in that guyโs shoes.
PM_ME_UR_XYLOPHONES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You cheeky bastard
Asmo___deus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Err, honestly sounds like that guy was being unreasonable. You can't expect the entire world to stop using extremely common expressions, even if you lost a limb.
LOTR4eva1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโll be honest, I think he was more checking to see if I was in fact being a dickhead because of my age, and then realized I was dead serious and just being a dumbass. It was so on the nose, if I were him for a hot sec I would wonder the same. He laughed after and was a very gracious guy about my faux pas and dismissed my profuse apologies and cherry red face
10000pelicans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's a glib?
Barefootin_Along ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:33:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was on my vocabulary list for English class this week! Literally never seen it before so this is kinda cool. Itโs speaking confidently or readily, but without sincerity or thinking about what youโre saying. So like insincere or flippant.
PenelopePeril ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:31:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Glib isnโt a noun, it is an adjective. You can โbe glibโ but you canโt โbe a glibโ.
/u/Barefootin_along gives a good definition so Iโm not going repeat it, I just wanted to clarify the adjective thing in case you wanted to use it properly in a sentence yourself some day.
TalisFletcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ha! Promote that pelican.
JearTheBare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He could have reported you for that, but I'm sure your supervisors would have realised that the intent was 'armless.
FlakF ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People are so sensitive my god.
mapleNlink4eva ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 03:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hopefully you learned a lesson that day...
tRonHD ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:32:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do not assume people have hands...?
SauronSauroff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:24:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The mistake was offering help.
If they had just stared whilst the person was struggling, no harm done /s
mapleNlink4eva ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it's an arrested development inside joke lol
bigfatbelushi ยท 14515 points ยท Posted at 20:57:51 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a dude, and had somewhat long hair in high school. I was working at the local supermarket and this older woman, 50s or 60s, asked if I was wearing a wig. I responded by saying no, and replied with the same question, after which she gave me an appalled look like I had called her a cunt or something.
whose_butt_hurts ยท 10109 points ยท Posted at 02:13:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you ever been mistaken for a woman?"
"No. Have you?"
RyanOfEarth ยท 1236 points ยท Posted at 03:20:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
nice one Vasquez.
jrm2007 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 03:32:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
the line in Aliens was, "Have you ever been mistaken for a man?"
gregbruns ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 04:14:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You always were an asshole Gorman.
Plasmodicum ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:30:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love that moment...
AerThreepwood ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me too. Gorman finally earned the respect he thought he had demanded.
JaniePage ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:39:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime, anywhere
BC_Hawke ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:58:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do we get out of this chicken shit outfit?
JaniePage ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:51:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You secure that shit, Hudson!
whatsthewhatwhat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 11:56:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody said "alien", she thought they said "illegal alien" and signed up.
JaniePage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:21:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you, man.
whatsthewhatwhat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 20:00:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Any time, anywhere...
NeutralNoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:13 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just watched that movie last night. Now I wanna watch it again.
JaniePage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:43 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I watched it earlier this week after seeing quotes on Reddit!
sir_mrej ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:46:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aliens quotes? Here?
Hank_Fuerta ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:06:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They mostly get posted at night.
Mostly.
sir_mrej ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 06:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah? Why don't we put /u/Hank_Fuerta in charge then?
eyehate ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:27:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe we just build a campfire. Sing some songs?
OraDr8 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:42:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I say we take off, nuke the site from orbit.
tickle_mittens ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:45:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/u/OraDr8 we are LEA.VING!
loggerit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Game over man, game over
Hingehead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sow your bellyaching, soldier. Remember, you're a leatherneck. Master Chief? Can you get us out of here?
gregbruns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was gettinโ short, man. Four more weeks then out. Now Iโm gonna buy it on this rock! It ainโt fair, man! Ainโt fair!!
gregbruns ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:49:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
<sniff> fuck-n-A.
gregbruns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:51:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well done. I gotta watch Aliens again tonight.
PuppetJack ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:07:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man. These quotes are comin' out the Goddamn walls.
Shishakli ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:44:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That can't be that's inside the room!
soulcomprancer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:53:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Bishop, do the thing with the knife
Steamwells ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:21:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some say Vasquezโs balls are still visible in space.
LSD001 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:14:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Anytime anywhere
UltimateRealist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:27:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Knock it off Hudson.
Enigmasystem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:04:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this- not disappointed
mongotron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:19:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LETโS ROCK!!!
OtisTheZombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone said "alien", she thought they said illegal alien and signed up!
scatswithcats ยท 1046 points ยท Posted at 03:10:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like something out of the Al Bundy playbook.
winston113 ยท 434 points ยท Posted at 04:13:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's from Aliens
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 05:26:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except it's - have you ever been mistaken for a man?
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:21:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
umagrandepilinha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:29:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here
Haggisn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:54:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just in reverse. He asked if she's been mistaken for a man.
alwaysawkward66 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:05:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right on Vaz!
PeaceSim ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:50:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's also from Brink!
unholyswordsman ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 04:09:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd say it behind your back but my car's only got half a tank of gas."
My favorite insult of his.
DoorHalfwayShut ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:38:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How could anyone mistake me for a woman? I played high school football!
scatswithcats ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:40:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Four touchdowns in a single game!
tmofee ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
POLK HIGH!
Nick-Da-Man ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:18:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a variation on this line from Aliens
Cmdr_Nemo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:34:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, like dressing up a chicken and calling it your wife.
Springpeen ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:51:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now I gotta watch Aliens for the thousandth time, thanks.
Sofa6265 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:15:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh snap
MidLaneEasy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:40:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No u?
NeutralNoodle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:36:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This joke was in Aliens but reversed.
Jaymezians ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is r/roastme levels of savagery right here.
captainthanatos ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:16:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my early 20โs I was working at Target and had pretty long hair. Over lunch me and some coworkers decided to see if my hair was long enough to be tied up. Sure enough it was and I walked out to the floor with two tiny pigtails and from the back I looked like a female. I was working in the photo lab that night when a guy walked up to the counter as I had my back to it. He called out โMamโ to me. His flabbergasted look as I turned around is something Iโll never forget. It also took everything I had to not bust out laughing.
vanillasamurai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No u
whynotminot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is your lemonade made from real lemons?"
"Are your girl scout cookies made from real girl scouts?"
Matt463789 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:37:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're just too bad.
plaidman1701 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jenette Goldstein was great in all the James Cameron stuff. Nowadays she owns a lingerie store in L.A.
whose_butt_hurts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was Michelle Rodriguez.
LurkerNotATwerker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This line is sure to make somebody butt hurt.
LemonyTuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was picking up my brother from school and some short fat kid asked if I was a girl or a boy despite seeing clear as day that I had moderate stubble on my face. I didn't get a chance to say anything because his mom heard and immediately started yelling at him in.
jsgc1357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My new favourite comment on Reddit
micasubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
terribleatgambling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this made me think of the disney channel movie Brink! not sure if thats the exact line but similar
The_Undrunk_Native ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
game over man!
Redhy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I want to upvote this twice.
NorthKoreanJesus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:31:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Old woman, who lives in that castle?"
111122223138 ยท 1203 points ยท Posted at 01:39:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"This lowly slave talked back to me? How dare he?"
Winterplatypus ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 09:02:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Friend of mine was being hit on by some older ladies as he was serving drinks at a function. "If was 10 years younger and not married.. teehee" etc.
He said "if you were 20 years younger and good looking".
handingoutlemons ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:20:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pow right in the kicker!
SpermWhale ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 05:22:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
return to auction!
ObiJuanKenobi3 ยท 789 points ยท Posted at 03:58:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good, she deserved it. Being old doesnโt give you an excuse to talk to people however you please. For all she knows your hair could have been a major source of insecurity for you. Obviously it isnโt, but she didnโt know that.
dickseverywhere444 ยท 609 points ยท Posted at 04:44:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Why actually it is ma'am, I am in fact dying of cancer. Thank you for reminding me. Have a nice day."
CaerulusDramal ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 06:13:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"In fact, I might even end up dead sooner than you!"
Roternaut ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 07:28:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If he had said that, she STILL would've complained to management.
dickseverywhere444 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 10:00:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Just because he's dying of cancer is no excuse to be RUDE!"
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 07:59:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LimeHS ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 16:03:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right in the feels :(
DormeDwayne ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:37:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, I would so say this! I mean, I wouldn't because I always remember what I should have said when it's already over, but I wish I'd say this.
Diavolo222 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
IN FACT, I'm due today and was trying to enjoy my last day. Cheerio!
[deleted] ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 04:51:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zdelarosa00 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 05:04:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are surrounded by a bunch of cunts and should not take that shit
Alt_dimension_visitr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:17:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. You and I have different ways about thinking of things. See, I take satisfaction in keeping it defiantly. And if it pisses them off, I wear it with more pride. Just to rub it in people face.
Imo, wearing something so public puts things on the table for discussion. I mean, i dont usually talk about people piercings. But if I had one, I would just accept it as a topic of conversation.
I have a pair of sure with enormous holes on the sides. But they're comfortable and "work" fine. I have gotten shit for them before. It doesnt bug me. I accept that people may not like them, and sone may say so, before I choose to wear them.
waterpanne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:02:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well I know I'm just a random stranger on the interwebs but I think that piercing sounds lovely.
MultiAli2 ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 06:22:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The point of wearing things like that is defiance and being noticed. They're for a certain type of person. If you're going to get your feelings hurt over people commenting on it, you shouldn't have got it.
TheRealDimSlimJim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:34:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Idk generally is people like a certain aesthetic they just do their thing and no one gives a shit ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
MultiAli2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:57 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are whole subcultures behind this thing.
[deleted] ยท -29 points ยท Posted at 06:13:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stephenrudolf ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:22:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If your first response to seeing a family member(possibly for the first time in several months) is to make a negative comment on their appearence you're a cunt, and immensely disrespectful.
I can understand asking someone to take their hat off at the dinner table when it comes time to eat, but expecting someone to change their physical appearence to suit what you think is tasteful is not askimg for respect, its immesnely self centerred and cuntish.
Want to know the key to happiness my friend? Its called don't be a cunt.
Loki_BlackButter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:15:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ooooooooof watch the passive aggression fam it's a very unattractive habit
sweetphillip ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at In-N-Out as a teenager, and I remember an incident in the first few months of working at the pay-window involving an old man. He was definitely pushing mid-late seventies and drove up the window at a snail's pace in an old hatchback. I looked out the window, said my greeting, and asked for the amount due. He looked me once over and said, "they let you work back here?" in a casually cruel tone. My mind immediately came back with "yeah, they let you drive around here?" but of course I bit my tongue because I still wanted my job. Another year later and I would've let him have it.
squired ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She may have just wanted to ask where she could get one so pretty.
AliceDee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she was asking because she had just starting wearing one herself after starting chemo and wanted advice? You're pretty judgemental, considering how little info you have to go on.
Once_An_Optimist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:15:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, on a scale of one to ten if they equated to decades I reckon when you get to 2 (or 20) you can be a bit lippy, once you get to 8 (or 80) you haven't got time to fuck around and just tell it like it is, no fucks given
kevRS ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 05:30:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude who used to have long hair here. Really appreciated this exchange between Frank Zappa and an interviewer with a peg leg:
Interviewer: "So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman? " Frank: "You have a wooden leg, does that make you a table? "
ihatethesidebar ยท 797 points ยท Posted at 22:18:58 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you responded with, "No, cunt".
petesmybrother ยท 430 points ยท Posted at 01:38:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Easy now, he's not in Australia
briareus08 ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 02:49:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah nah cunt"
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:20:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TalisFletcher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:02:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Git faaaarrrrrked, cunt.
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You'd say "how does get fucked sound?" or "jam it up your clacker" or just a simple "rack off"
extra_specticles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
chup?
newzealander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You taking the piss aye cunt?
extra_specticles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah nah yeah brew
Nixinova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nor New Zealand
Project2r ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:05:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt is such a fun swear word, it's really too bad it's taboo in everywhere non-Australia.
FreshFrog3 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:07:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean even in Australia going around calling everyone a cunt doesnโt go down too well
Qazsdf ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:20:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends how you say it. If you say โHows it goin cuntโ Then your fine. But if you say โGet fucked cuntโ then your not fine. Unless your saying it to a mate then you can say it however you like and itโs fine.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:35:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Qazsdf ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How could I forget about that one.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:18:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Generally speaking it's much less acceptable to call women cunt. You might if you're good friends still use it casually, but not like you would with blokes you maybe just met.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:11:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an aussie heading to america later in the year.... I can't way to start calling people cunts
Super_Zac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, honestly anyone who would use a woman's genitals as a swear word must be a huge dick.
MariosLivesMatter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too true. His story would have mentioned a drop bear or two mangling the woman if he were Australian.
cayal3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't be appalled, they'd be friends
Antarius-of-Smeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:34 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oi! Don't come the cunt, cunt!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lady_Penrhyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:00:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Both Mate and Cunt can be used to mean very different things depending on the situation and the word order.
...we can be a complex people, us Aussies :P
waffle_ss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:23:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
a cunt would be a silly thing to wear
wowaka ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how does that rude but relatively innocuous question deserve that shitty reaction? damn, men here are just frothing at the mouth for any opportunity to call women c*nts
BrazenNormalcy ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:25:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I had long hair, I was in a convenience store & lady behind the counter asked, "Is that your real hair?" I said, "Yes, is that your real hair?" just being silly. She said, "No, it's a weave" though, which I didn't expect. I told her, "Well, it's a good one, because I wouldn't have guessed."
squid1891 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:18:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat related: I once replied to a rather bitchy and condescending comment from woman, with whom I went to training school (Navy), by asking her if she had a no shave chit (a document the Navy gives to men with skin conditions, that allows them to not have to shave their face every day). She wasn't too happy.
Witchymuggle ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:04:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs fucking savage
squid1891 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The people around started laughing their asses off. She, of course, turned a hue much darker than beet red, and called me a fucking asshole. She was pretty well known for not being able to take back what she dished out.
darkknight95sm ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:48:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am 6โ7โ and get asked if I play basketball a lot. I sometimes respond with โno, do you play miniature golf?โ
Kigarta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How's the weather up there?
kick to the shin
I imagine the same as it is down there.
Gebraheel ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well... to be fair.
Acadia94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:23:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had long hair working at a liquor store, my favorite interaction was a woman that came in with her young daughter, maybe three years old, when she got to the register I asked if she found everything alright and the kid freaks out. "Mommy, mommy, is he a boy?! He's a boy mommy!" I was trying my hardest not to laugh and the woman just rushed through the transaction embarrassed as all hell and gave me a very timid sorry as she left.
Freewander10 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:30:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no, u
yugosaki ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:14:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't regret this, but one time I was working security for an EDM concert (basically a rave but legal) and on the way out this 40+ year old woman clinging to a much younger guy said to me "aren't you a bit small to be a security guard?"
I responded with "Arent you a bit old to be at a rave?"
her boy toy was very amused. she was not.
joker_wcy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being a small guy myself, I'd respond 'I know'.
nope_noperstein ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:52:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe she was and just wanted to know where you got the beautiful wig you were wearing.
angethebigdawg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:24:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My husband has long hair and more often the not a waiter will address us with a โhey ladiesโ whilst almost immediately realising itโs a man and woman sitting at the table.
Stephenrudolf ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:27:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long haired guy here, I was at a mall with a friend of mine. She wanted to check out some makeup at this one store, Im fine with that so we're walking into the store and the one lady goes "hey ladies can I help you pick out anything?" I just put on the deepest most monotone voice I could and said "I'd love some new eyeshadow" and just watched the colour drain from her face as she realised I was a man. Honestly it was hilarious for me and she was so apologetic saying she wasnt wearing her glasses. Inside joke between that one friend and I now.
CitrusSea ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:51:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Old Lady: "Are you wearing a wig?"
Worker: "No, why? Are you wearing a wig?"
I don't know why, but the way I pictured this in my mind made it seem like you were worried about having a They Live, Twilight Zone-esque revelation that you are living in a world where everyone's hair is an illusion.
mrjamjams66 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:29:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So basically she was wearing a wig
atombomb1945 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:26:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate those customers. Had someone call our district office once about me and the complaint was "I was being rude to that man and he was rude right back to me!"
DrynTheGanger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that's an understandable reaction, given you were a teenager when you said it. That generation has a specific sense of the customer experience that comes off like undue entitlement, hence her reaction to your response. From their perspective, you, as a much younger-than-her employee of the store, are kind of like a part of the scenery with which she can interact. For people currently under about 35, I feel as though the equivalent would be if Siri or the Google voice on your phone got cheeky. Your reaction very well might be indignation at malfunction.
LemonJongie23 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:28:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She sure sounds like a cunt to me
1stLtObvious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Opposite scenario: I've been balding since I was 23. Wore a cheesy, all-black curly/fro wig as part of a Halloween costume. Friend who we hadn't been able to see in ages asked if that was my real hair. He had only ever seen me with it buzzed super short because balding. I just about died laughing and crying inside.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This made me LoL. Because Iโm wondering, what Iโm the world would drive you to ask that back to her. Absolutely hilarious.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:44:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Society isn't as kind to women who suffer hairloss. Even though both genders lose their hair, it's a lot harder for women to deal with receding hairlines and bald patches.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 02:20:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? It's literally the opposite. A woman can transition to a wig as/if she wants to with almost 0 traction. I can't recall a single derogatory thing I've ever heard another man or woman say about women's hair loss.
Men on the other hand....entire careers are lost, they're seen as weak by other men, women find them less attractive, wig options are noticed immediately...the jokes! The list goes on...
Bezere ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:53:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Toupee
__Shadynasty_ ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Women with broken edges along their hairline absolutely get made fun of. There are plenty of memes mocking it.
Men absolutely go through hell during the process of losing hair, but once they go bald as long as they are decently attractive they are okay. The comments women get when they have little to no hair are pretty brutal, especially the ones attacking their sexual identity and femininity.
This is one of those things with both genders get a different type of shit for something.
ideletedmyredditacco ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:36:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you gotta surround yourself with some better memes if you're seeing plenty of those
olbers-paradox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:33:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I suffer from trichotillomania. Am female. I get a LOT of rude comments and stares. The brutality is real.
kingofthekung ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If a woman is bald. The first thing I think of is she is a nun. Not to be made fun of.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:42:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I notice female hairloss more than others. That side part isn't fooling me and blondes tend to have thinner hair that recedes along the temples. Other women get it from the top and it spreads sideways.
Adrolak ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:27:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy I think that male hair loss is looked at worse by men than women. I donโt know much about womenโs hair loss, except that the only instance the above is correct I think is worth older ladies of a certain age, when my grandmother turned 65 she shaved her entire head and got a series of wigs, and it was a pretty common thing where she lived in a hot and humid environment. So yeah if you fit that scenario it might be easier as a woman to transition to a wig. Alternatively quality menโs wigs are super expensive and not as nice as womenโs from what Iโve seen.
darkforcedisco ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually pretty common in the black community due to years of having to change their hair to conform with white standards. Women get made fun of all the time if their hair is thin on the edges, definitely if their natural hair is thin in the middle, or if the wig they use is ugly.
hippie-feet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Name checks out.
The-MERTEGER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โNo u.โ
Actually_a_Patrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's OK for her to ask you, it's ok for you to ask her.
Just4TodayIthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad you did that, it's pretty obvious she was trying to make a smart-ass remark about your choice of hairstyle. You had the perfect response.
Reth_Sollins_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have long hair when I worked at a super market in high school. This happened to me all the time. After I would ring them up I would usually say goodbye sir or ma'am (depending on the opposite gender) have a nice day.
jediev90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong here
PiggyPearl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for Disney & people would ask me if my hair was real (it wasn't. It was a wig) but I would always ask if their hair was real back
DrGurlfriend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My brother had this happen to him but instead he said, yes it is a wig, I have cancer.... customer apologized profusely and ran away hahahaha
RurouniZoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No u!
xtheory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should've said, "Yes. I have cancer and I borrowed my Mom's wig because we're too poor to buy another one." The look on her face would've been priceless.
nfsnobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt see the issue. Thereโs no scenario where the customer could be justifiably mad, asking them the same question they asked you.
NFLinPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think that's a "regret"
That's gold, my dude.
Kigarta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long haired dude now (32) and I keep getting asked what kind of music I like. Even if I did like 80's (any and all) music I don't see how it would influence me to grow it out.
I did it because a few girls had liked the look, got tired with keeping it short, and I figure when I get sick of it I can donate it.
Lennon_v2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a man who has spent many years with long hair I fucking hate how some people think they're entitled to tell you what you should do with it. I had numerous girls in high school tell me that I HAD to donate my hair and that I was a bad person for not wanting to donate it. I'd often point out how they have long hair and never harass female friends to donate their hair, but apparently it's different because I'm a guy so I dont need long hair. Leave me and my hair alone, I dont need to answer to you, you fucking hypocrite
olvini3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Typical "no u" situation
zywrek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm picturing you as Steve Hughes, and it's amazing!
Voi69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the joke:
"Someone once told me I had a great beard. When I anwsered 'Thanks you too', she slapped me!!! Why?"
throwawaynewc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Has to be a German joke
WaldOtter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have long hair too and used to get shit about it all the time. I donโt get whatโs so wrong about guys having long hair!?
pokexchespin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never got that response, just a bunch of people mistaking me for a girl, even in the menโs room
totoyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a long time ago when I bought tickets to movies. The cashier tells me "enjoy the movie" and I said "thanks you too". Cashier gave me a weird look and I wanted to hide away.
lilpastababy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Now bag my groceries, peasant!"
Syncrossus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good call, honestly. Maybe she'll think twice before asking a dumb question next time.
almostdeadpoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a girl with short hair. One time while cashiering this old fogey nudged his wife and was like "see honey, that's why I won't let you cut your hair like that, you'll look like a boy." So many things wrong with that statement, Jesus Christ...
OfficerBrando ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was VERY uncomfortable with my height as a kid (6'5 at 15 or 16). People would often comment on it then ask how tall I was. I would often respond "I'm about 6'5. How much do you weigh?"
ktainsworth ยท 919 points ยท Posted at 02:17:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer one time call me over to tell me how great their burger was, and how it was so delicious - I donโt know why, but I loudly exclaimed, โwelcome to flavortown!!!โ channeling my inner Guy Fieri....they just looked at me and I awkwardly said, โIโll be sure to let the kitchen know how much you liked the burgerโ and then I hurried into the kitchen
TheGhostHayes ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 08:34:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would've flipped shit hearing that. lol 10/10
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 15:07:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That person had been graced by those magical words, and just staired
Totally_not_Zool ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:58:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kissel? Is that you?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:15:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Megustalations
Totally_not_Zool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAIL ME!
ktainsworth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:41:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha no, but knowing someone else has done this makes me feel better!
[deleted] ยท 1463 points ยท Posted at 22:15:26 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โNo, I donโt think all Asians look the sameโ
I had an Asian customer at my job who looked a whole lot like my other Asian classmate. I asked if he was his brother.
He was.
Realizing that it could have come off as weird to say that I said he looked a lot like his brother. Then I said the above thing.
He just looked at me weird and left after we were done with the transaction.
_LulzCakee_ ยท 261 points ยท Posted at 00:57:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: He wasn't asian.
Autarch_Kade ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:41:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's how I feel about Sarku Japan. I go in there, and my heart tells me they're asians making this mall food court food, but my mind is telling me mexican.
I never asked so they're forever just Schrodinger's cooks
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 05:41:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My brother thought my now-husband was Korean for about a year and a half. Husband is actually Mexican, with a very generic Mexican surname.
Also, I'm not really sure why my brother picked Korean out of all the Asian ethnicities? I asked him one time but he just shrugged.
DragonDeadite ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:12:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly along these same lines, my best friend growing up is South Korean, or at least his mom's side of the family is. His dad is mutt-American. However, he was born in Italy, so whenever anyone asked him "what are you?" he would say Italian, although clearly of Asian decent.
I told my wife that he was Italian for years. She refused to believe me. Couple years ago he comes by the house, we all get drunk, she finally asks him to his face "What ARE you?"
Without missing a fucking beat he says "Italian." I laughed. My wife hits me. It was a good night.
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does your husband have a very square jawline?
AnarkeIncarnate ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:35:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mongolian and mongoloid aren't the same thing, Carl!"
notseriousIswear ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:08:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm a Pacific islander." Oh shit that's different maybe? Cue me cocking my head like a dumbass and squinting at them like Larry david.
TheSinningRobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Double plot twist: his brother was
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:33:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Double plot twist: he was Mark
mirmoolade ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:49:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hi Mark.
Surfing_Ninjas ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:15:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hi Johnny, I didn't know it was you!
throwawayplsremember ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's not that big of an offense unless you meant it as one, or were joking around with that. Asians (from Asia) have difficulty recognizing individual white and black people too, but they didn't make it into a racist thing
shagreenfrap ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 06:36:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know it's a circlejerk at this point but for real, the only people who get called racists are white people.
jblakk ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 06:40:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe in your neck of the woods. But that's just frankly not true as a whole.
enterthedragynn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are obviously not from around here...... meaning earth.
shagreenfrap ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:55:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Racist
stephen_bannon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:43:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That story didn't need the Tarantino treatment.
KennstDuCuntsDew ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:05:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, that's beautiful. You overcorrected into accidental racism.
footydawson ยท 844 points ยท Posted at 02:18:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked at Dicks Sporting Goods. Day 1 they trained me that the website was not dicks.com because at the time it was a pornographic site.
Not 5 minutes on the floor and a nice old lady asked me for the website because she couldnโt find something in her size. Told her Dicks.com and walked away.
Instant regret a few minutes later. Try to find her in the store but she is already gone. Hope she at least enjoyed the website I sent her too...
CaptainTachyon ยท 463 points ยท Posted at 05:19:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dicks.com now redirects to dickssportinggoods.com
Gotta wonder how much they paid for that.
DBerwick ยท 110 points ยท Posted at 05:31:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Risky click of the day.
thetoastmonster ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 08:26:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is whitehouse.com still a porn site?
jinoh ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:40:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ask! Try!
thetoastmonster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:43:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought it was a service that /u/CaptainTachyon was offering.
jinoh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Clever. I would also like to know if captaintachyon.com is a porn site.
N1ck1McSpears ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that would have saved my dad a lot of embarrassment when he was online shopping with my school age brother.
john_dune ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:50:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An ass load.
JMurray1121 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god for AAAA Records!
themagicchicken ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably not an arm and a leg, ifyaknowwhatImean.
RexBanner23 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 06:32:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is if they had trained you what the website was rather than repeatedly telling you what it wasn't you wouldn't have had the wrong thing on your mind.
nobaddays68 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:04:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For the record - Dicks.com now takes you to Dicks Sporting Goods. Had to check!
CookedTomatoesSuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if I should trust or not
Rikolas ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:54:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dicks could avoid this entirely if they named the company something that didn't mean penis in slang
johnnycrichton ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:29:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Richard's Sporting Goods - booyah
Side note: funny enough there's a Richard's Sporting Goods in San Diego apparently, but Dick's Sporting Goods is still the first result when I search for that.
TobiasMasonPark ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:06:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just imagining this sweet old lady typing that in, getting to a porn site and saying, "meh. I've seen bigger."
Lieutenant_Labia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is literally how my 11 y/o self discovered porn.
Growlette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:43 on April 14, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think I was about that age when I accidentally went to whitehouse.com instead of whitehouse.gov...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol when I worked at Bath and Body Works, we had to specifically tell customers to go to bathandbodyworks.com, not bbw.com, because at the time a porn site featuring bigger ladies had that domain.
Lavrentiiy ยท 8991 points ยท Posted at 21:13:35 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a gas station for a while. It was independently run and at a service station, so it was admittedly expensive. Most people, if they commented on it, would have a bit of a rant but never at us, as they understood we don't fix the prices.
Anyway, it's 11pm, near the end of my shift. A woman has come in and she is going off about the prices. She won't let it drop, she's dragging out her transaction, and she's being very rude to me.
"If you're going to rob people, you should at least be wearing a mask in here," she says.
"Sorry, left mine at home today," I reply. It's my go to for this line, which I hear about 6 times a day, though people usually say it light-heartedly.
This.woman, however, is serious. Oops. She launches into a rant about how she's never coming back, how she can't believe it, how can I sleep at night. I tell her I don't set the prices. She tells me to let my manager know he's a thieving bastard. I tell her he doesn't set the prices either. She says once again that the prices are despicable. The night shift guy has arrived now -- I'm supposed to be handing the shift over and leaving, but she's still bitching and a queue has formed. She reiterates that the prices are abhorrent. I finally lose it.
"Look," I say, pointing to the massive sign outside that prominently displays our prices in bright lights. "The prices are right there. You knew how much it was when you came in. You also can use those terrific observational skills to note we're only 3 miles away from a city with 24 hour supermarkets with gas stations. No one made you come in here, so can you hurry the fuck up and pay so I can go home?"
I knew I shouldn't have said it but a) too late now and b) I had cultivated an image in front of my manager of being a bit of a pushover. This meant when rude customers complained about me he wouldn't believe I would have the balls to say such things. She threatened to report me and I was like cool, OK, my name is on my badge. She also threatened to write a bad review, which my colleague and I had a laugh about when she left.
I left a few minutes later. Imagine my surprise when I saw her sitting in her car on the forecourt, tapping away at her phone. The madwoman actually did it. I checked my review. Apparently I am "a shockingly rude young man" who "would benefit from a good talking to". Harsh words.
trainstation98 ยท 4336 points ยท Posted at 23:24:59 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mate. Im sorry but you are a shockingly rude man. Say goodbye to your social score.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1466 points ยท Posted at 23:35:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're right :( I hope this is the good talking to I'll benefit from.
lilgreenjedi ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You just needed the karma to level up.
just_that_one_kid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:18:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Down to two meowbeans
Beatful_chaos ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:35:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meowmeowbeanz
FTFY
yugottabethatway ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:51:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the same shit I would say. I once told something like this to a customer and my manager attempted to say something and I asked her if I was wrong and she paused and said โwell,,,,,,,No........โ
croccrazy98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Turn that frown upside down!
leopheard ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:38:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Turn that vagina around inside-ya
Kigarta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I'm concerned, you did a good thing that night boss.
BenSz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:17 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that black mirror episode. Better get some good ratings or you will lose your privileges
Wheezy_breeze ยท 552 points ยท Posted at 01:15:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm a 5 star man!
DarkSideOfDaMoon ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 02:52:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You wanna rate me? Okay I'll rate you!! ZERO. ZERO. ZERO
butnmshr ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'LL RATE EVERY WOMAN IN HERE.
GoferAdmin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:48:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was he rating AP Bio?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:27:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jesonnier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The mick is hilarious. And it feels almost like it's Dee, but she's just slightly smarter. But still just as much a piece of trash.
Foxlust ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:34:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE GOLDEN GOD!
NotParticularlyGood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You've got a 5 star heart!
diseasedicon ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:09:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How many meow meow beans do you have tho?
ESCALATING_ESCALATES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god I forgot about that episode
diseasedicon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How??? Shit was iconic
ESCALATING_ESCALATES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's been far too long since I watched Community, my dude
rothael ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:18:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fives have lives, Fours have chores, Threes have fleas, Twos have blues, and Ones don't get a rhyme, because they're garbage!
MatthewKashuken ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 05:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Howโre you supposed to hang out with the 4.6s acting like that. Geesh.
BaneOfXistence4 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 04:21:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh....I'm getting Nosedive flashbacks.
Foxyfox- ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:35:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except now it's a real thing, in China!
Introvert8063 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
O_O
catfishfighter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not my meow meow beans!
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 03:34:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Protistas ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:25:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate reddit because when some comment makes me laugh you are obligated to just upvote it and if you reply trying to make the commenter feel good about making an A+ comment people get mad at you.
I like your comment a lot friend
moondeli ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedblackmirror
SundererKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Except, its real life too.
Sesame Credit
China
China to bar people with bad 'social credit' from planes, trains
Lenddo
Lenddo uses what information collected from facebook to determine if they are worthy of loans.
Let Lenddo explain it themselves
Carrot Rewards
Carrot Rewards in Canada
Galelleo_eq ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:44:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
1 meow meow bean.
NiftyJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Heโs still got those upvotes though! Reddit loves you.
AnemoneOfMyEnemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โญ๏ธโญ๏ธโช๏ธโช๏ธโช๏ธ
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rip Sesame.
TheManicMonocle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs treason then.
Slepp_The_Idol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, good luck getting public transportation.
otakurini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good thing this isnโt Black Mirror then!
bessibabe4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't tell if Black Mirror or China...
crawfish2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It wasnโt a meaningful interaction ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
ohboymyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no his meow meow beans!
TheRealFPLWiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope OP has a Naomi in their life that they can give a wedding speech for or thereโs no way theyโre getting those apartments now.
PM_ME_UR_XYLOPHONES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:15:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's going in your permanent record, young man.
crystalistwo ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 04:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked retail, as soon as someone said, "I'm never coming back." I'd say, "Bye." Because if they're not coming back, I didn't give a shit about them now or in the future.
Lavrentiiy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither. Also when they would put their drinks back or more likely just leave them at my register and refuse to pay. I'd tell them to leave if that was the case and they'd go off about bad customer service. I would say "we'll as you're not buying anything, you're not a customer". That was always amusing.
Joke's on them though because if they left a coffee from the machine I was allowed to drink it seems it couldn't be put back. Free coffee!
AngledLuffa ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:42:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why would anyone pull over at a gas station just to yell at the people inside about the prices?
Lavrentiiy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 10:39:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worse. She managed to miss the massive lit up glowing sign displaying the prices, drive in, miss the prices displayed prominently on the pumps, fill her tank up while her total was also prominently displayed on the pump, and then only realise and lose her mind when I read out her total.
BurritoInABowl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
facepalm
colourmecanadian ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:51:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve never actually done it, but I work at Starbucks and my first instinct when people start complaining about the prices is to say, โThen donโt buy it, no one is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to buy anything...โ I did have one guy say that he was going to take his business elsewhere if we didnโt have the coffee beans he wanted (it was our most popular blend and usually sold out pretty fast). I just smiled and did my best not to say, โbe my guestโ and gesture to the door.
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:35:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is hugely relatable. I don't know why customers seem to say that like the business is going to collapse because they're not spending a few pounds/dollars there a couple of times a week anymore. Honestly, if you're the kind of customer who has to inform people you're never coming back, there's a 100% chance the employees are glad to see you go and really hope you make true on that threat.
G-A-M-A ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:19:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
from whenceforth you're tagged for me as "shockingly rude young man" hope u don't mind
Lavrentiiy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:43:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do not mind at all, this is the legacy I wanted ever since I saw that review.
[deleted] ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 23:05:09 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin' insufferable cunt. As we would say here in America.
FijiTearz ยท 301 points ยท Posted at 00:03:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Idk as an American that sounds more British than American
whiskersandtweezers ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:43:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt is a bad, bad word in America. So doctor_dicker was on point with that one.
Dazmen1755 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, unfortunately cunt is one of my favorite words to say. Minus my phobia of spiders, I probably should have been born in Australia. It's gotten me into some weird situations using it in a benign way. Example, met some new people at a bar and we were outside shooting the shit, smoking, swapping stories. I don't even remember the dudes story but it was funny and involved him doing something cheeky and I just said "well arn't you a cheeky cunt" while laughing and everyone in the circle just went dead silent. Apparently thinking I was a being giant asshole.
jesseleetats ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:07:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A cheeky cunt and a giant asshole
wonderling_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโd definitely be welcomed here in Australia.
photonrain ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:47:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a fijian indian in china it sounds like something a jamaican in antarctica might say.
Nesurame ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:45:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We got our culture by beating up other countries and rummaging in their pockets for foreign swearwords.
KommandantVideo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bombaclaad
banjohusky95 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 23:27:56 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard that as an insult. Usually just 'asshole or 'bitch'.
shfiven ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 01:53:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt tends to be considered to be too offensive to actually say in America.
Maveil ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:25:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which makes it the perfect word for this cunt
Kigarta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a lot more American this time around.
danceswithwool ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:45:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah here in the states thatโs a โbreak glass in case of fireโ word. If youโre pulling that one out, shit is going down.
Wyle_E_Coyote73 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:12:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said it once and only once. I was in college and this girl was being such a massive twat that I lost my cool and called her an "insufferable cunt that could have been aborted." I got chased..and not in the cute way, in the "if I catch you I'm going to beat you up" way.
throwitaway488 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yea its usually only internet neckbeards who use it and almost never in person.
abbyabsinthe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's generally directed to women when it's used as an insult over here.
banjohusky95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:44:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If by over here you mean the U.S, I live in the U.S too.
Gebraheel ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 00:43:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I call my fiancรฉ a cunt all the time. Admittedly I use it far less in public... and mostly when I road-rage to my windshield.
Groobs03 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:47:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sir... Can I check your America card?
DualShocks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/fellowamericans
Project2r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:32:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Found the Aussie in disguise.
Kigarta ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:44:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Minus the "insufferable". Simply just muttering "cunt" would do.
Edit: Or then apologize for the word "insufferable" stating that it was probably too big of a word for her to understand.
SandiBea ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:34:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My family owns and runs a gas station and has for so many years. I can totally relate to this.
Not only have I dealt with dick head customers coming in and complaining about gas prices, I've also dealt with dick head teenagers trying to buy cigarettes underage. We always ask for their ID and when we do, they act like it's the end of the world and start ranting ( you can imagine these ones are all under age).
I give them the spiel about how it's our responsibility and how we are the ones that will get in trouble if they're not of age. They don't care. It just makes it that much more satisfying when you tell them no.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got that too. I don't know why they bothered to come miles out of town to try it, though. They'd often have to get rides -- why not send the probably of age driver in? So long as I don't see you do it I don't give a shit, all I care about is the person I sell them being of age. They'd be so genuinely surprised when I'd ask for ID. Some of them quite literally looked 11.
KallistiEngel ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:49:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...Who reads reviews before going to a gas station?
JayDoppler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:52:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did before i started working at one, cause why not? Apparently a few years ago an attendant went to help someone with a lit cigarette and when told to put it out said "fuck off" to the customer XD
metans ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:50:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I looked up a petrol station once (it was part of the chain I worked for and I had to go there for a meeting) and in the little review box that pops up on Google maps the comment simply said;
"Rogered the lady in the toilets."
Lavrentiiy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:26:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know, I never thought of this and this just makes it funnier. Even our managers didn't read the reviews because this was never brought up.
sandpuppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:31:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously good on you. This country is lettered with cheap, rude fucks.
azraline ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Up vote because I work in a gas station and feel your pain..
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you escape and find something better soon, my dude. That job drained the life out of me.
montyberns ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:48:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love the "how do you sleep at night" line. Remember working at a movie theater in college and doing concessions and at the end of a long night some guy just had to comment on the prices of everything he was ordering then when I gave him the total he threw out that classic. My surprisingly clear and un sarcastically toned response was "On the large piles of cash I obviously make working here." My friend who was the crew lead had to step into the back because apparently she nearly burst out laughing. Guy just grimaced and walked away, and I didn't even realize what I had said until my friend came back out.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha yes! I had a colleague say something similar. They never know what to say to that. My favourite thing is imagining what the customers think I do when they say that. Do they think I should feel so bad that I lay in bed angsting over the daily atrocities I commit? Or do they see me as some bourgeois villain sleeping soundly on my pillows of goose feathers? Who knows!
evergreenstategirl ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:07:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm crying from laughing, this is so fucking funny.
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:13:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey atleast she didn't write some bs about your screaming and yelling and swearing at her like a lot of people do.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have showed my manager if she had. There would be no way he would have believed it of me, lol.
gold8erry ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:38:46 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is oddly adorable?
Risinex ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I want to read the review she wrote you lol
rnykal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*madlass
Twothousand2000 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:52:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BabyBoomers
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You guessed it...
thekingsdeck20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Find a way to post that to /r/madlads (like the review and why she wrote it etc) you'll probably get a good bit of karma out of it :) Hopefully you don't have to deal with stuff that bad to often though, you seem pretty cool.
nfsnobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What does that mean? Gas station/petrol station/service station are all synonymous in Australia. From my perspective you just said you worked at an independent servo that was at a servo.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the UK. Here gas/petrol stations can be on their own (so just a station and small shop) or attached to supermarkets. On motorways we have service stations, which are basically rest stops. They're (sometimes very large) buildings with several shops, restaurants, fast food places, sometimes souvenir stores, and a lot of them have arcades. Biggest one I've been in was larger than most malls I've been to. They're designed for people to stop and have a break on long journeys, and for truck drivers to be able to rest for the amount of time they legally have to after every few hours of driving. My gas station was attached to one of these larger full service stations by a motorway, though ours was unusual because it was quite near a town (a lot of them are in the middle of nowhere).
nfsnobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, thanks! We have all of those, however theyโre all called service stations (servos) in Australia.
Orisi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's always great when you get reviews. When I worked at a call centre it was always a point of pride when we found a negative review online that mentioned us by name. Mostly because you could generally tell which sort of call was going to be one of those types, and make a note to be very thorough in your notes about what was said and why the customer is an ass.
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:19:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Negative reviews were hilarious because almost always they mentioned "the prices were so high and [cashier] didn't seen to care". Like a) we don't fix the prices and b) we hear this quite literally a dozen times a day, minimum. You're right. We quite literally do not give a shit.
Spartakusssrs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you keep the Job?
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did! Got fired a few months after because we were robbed and I "let" the thieves take the money. Sorry but a shitty gas station job is not worth dying forโ
Nightshade744 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry about that, my mom can get that way. Iโll give her another chat about people just trying to do their fucking jobs.
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:14:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You poor thing. I can't imagine the amount of second-hand embarrassment you must have endured through your life.
Nightshade744 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:06:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah itโs fine Iโve learned to deal with it. I often just mouth โim sorryโ or go to the washroom when she leaves and come back to apologize. Iโve tried to change her but itโs just the way she is.
pls_kangarooe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are a shockingly rude man!
ok there is your good talking to, you are now benefitted and 10/10 stars
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you for curing me from this disease, I have been waiting for this moment!
pls_kangarooe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
go now, my child, and make the world a better place with your overpriced goods and new benefits.
Zurglmi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I imagined you saying "My name is on my badge, but you can't read this either, right ?"
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:45:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn! I wish I'd thought of that lol. Best part is my name looks complicated to say at first but is actually not a trick and is said how it looks, so if she had got defensive and looked it would have probably tripped her up.
Kiwi_bri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:02:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should have told her that you were up for a bit of chastisement if she was. You might have gotten lucky.
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
:O!
DroppedLoSeR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you replied to her review and said yes. Yes I am a rude person. To ungrateful ignorant fucks.
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Post this shit to /r/TalesFromRetail
GhostKingFlorida ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shockingly rude? Well fuck dude, off to Guantanamo with ya. Tough luck.
ConsistentSleep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
5/5 would say again A+ customer skills
antariusz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd downvote you, but I do t have the spine to do it.
Intensityintensifies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in Ben Lomond????
Lavrentiiy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not sure if this is a place or a name but no on both!
Swashcuckler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's it, I'm taking away your polite man card and giving you a rude man card.
Absolutely unacceptable, now go to the Politeness Office to get your talking to.
1stLtObvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a supermarket, and I hate when customers complain about prices to try to get a cheaper price. No one in the store sets the prices. Corporate does. I am not risking losing my job so you can have your rude behavior rewarded with a cheaper price. This isn't the barter system or a flea market. Your haggling has no power here.
Lavrentiiy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So many people would try this at my tiny gas station. Even the people who had only bought gas. Like the prices are set by the company and we just obey; my register literally cannot alter your gas total! If you didn't want to pay that much for gas keep an eye on the pump and stop when you reach your budget!
Side note, in my country you pump first and then pay, there's no pre-setting the pump. I'd still somehow get yelled at for not stopping the pump when I saw someone "buying too much". Buddy, I don't know your budget! I have 9 other pumps to keep an eye on. Use your brain!
Mncdk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:05:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am so sorry. I hope you recover.
Do_your_homework ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How rude of you to not put up with her bullshit forever and without complaint.
JaeBells1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate people who complain about pricing, especially when it's really obvious the floor workers don't set them.
I worked at Subway a few years ago in the middle of no where. It was the middle of our lunch rush on a really busy day, where none of the other three places to grab lunch were open There was a line literally out the door and I was working with two new girls. They were fine, I did the hard parts and we kept the line moving as quick as we could, with one of the new girls on the register.
Some guy walks in and goes directly to our drink cooler and grabs a bottle of water, walks up to the counter (completely cutting off the person in line btw), and starts verbally ripping into my cashier (a 16 year old girl who had worked there maybe two days) about how <whatever the price was> was entirely too much for a bottle of water and how it's robbery and you can get a whole 24 pack for <however much>. 30 seconds of that nonsense, my cashier is white as a sheet. I got to be all "excuse me sir, we don't set the prices corporate does," trying to maintain customer service friendliness but clearly not having his shit. He decides he's going to come down to my end (again, getting in the way of people actually in line for me to make their food) and try to yell at me about how ridiculous it is. Instead, he gets "I'm sorry you don't like the pricing sir but we don't set the prices, there's nothing I can do about it, and wouldn't anyway considering your rudeness. You disrupted all these people's lunch, made it harder to do our jobs, and you yelled at my employee, who definitely didn't deserve it. Either buy the water or get the hell out of my store." He left, sputtering. The crowd in my store literally clapped and tipped a lot. It was a good day.
ETA: I did end up being assistant manager, but I wasn't at this point. When we were done with our lunch rush, I called my boss and told her about it before he could. She laughed and brought me a cupcake the next morning. We had a lot of regulars, many of whom were there that day, and they would make jokes about it for a while after that.
Icarus-V ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To /r/thathappened with you!
Stealth_Ninja157 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 23:59:43 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
(X)
crackedpot11 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:25:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this one boob with a pastey, a really excited dude with a unibrow, Vader's ship? I never know what to make of this...
cg5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:08:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's an LA Noire meme. X is "doubt".
EpicMeatSpin ยท 11990 points ยท Posted at 22:55:46 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy came in to where I worked and the first thing he said was something like โdo you give discounts?โ Not any particular discount, he was just being a cheap ass.
Somehow, without skipping a beat I said โFor what? Showing up?โ
I donโt think he was happy with that.
Lotor1981 ยท 7673 points ยท Posted at 23:37:16 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My reply when I worked retail was always "I'll double the price & give you half off!", the number of people who got excited about that still worries me.
ZafrinaKuu ยท 2555 points ยท Posted at 01:17:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work retail and use this one as well...and yeah the amount of people who get happy about it is a concern.
RIPDistrict12 ยท 2050 points ยท Posted at 01:42:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oooh I'll take that!"
"Ok."
rings it up as normal
seegabego ยท 525 points ยท Posted at 03:30:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then they walk back into the store and say u forgot to give them the discount? ๐
yollamt ยท 184 points ยท Posted at 04:39:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And throw a fit until your manager actually gives them a discount ๐
Idiotnextdoor_2 ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 04:45:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then your manager disciplines you
sidx64 ยท 112 points ยท Posted at 04:59:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get fired on suspicions of trickery
Beatful_chaos ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 05:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then you get hired at your dream job but it isn't everything you thought you wanted.
sn4xchan ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 05:39:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then you fall in love
that_homeless_guy ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:41:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then you have a kid and have to find out the hard way that teenagers just don't want to listen to their parents
SchitLipz ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:06:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then your teenaged kid gets a job at that store.
rubyrabbithole ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:21:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ok pack it up boys. We went full circle.
the-floot ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:12:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then the boys pack it up inside a full circle
neckbeardfedoras ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:48:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And find out they're a lesbian who has no interest in you or your peen
Sarmathal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm dumb she's a lesbian, I thought I had found the one.
Dioksys ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were good as married in my mind,
but married in my mind is no good !
aphro_x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:48:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why you should've switched to DirectTV.
InevitableTypo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:01:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
With your married boss who does not feel the same way...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then your love dies.
auxiliary-character ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:18:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a Bill Wurtz song?
fezzam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Berlin. Chandelier. Tiffanyโs..?
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then she cheats on you
BoltmanLocke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then the love of your life dies in a car crash you were responsible for.
Vayro ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:15:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then you quit your dream job for the original shitty job you had
Iceash ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:55:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And he's falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
Lelentos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:23:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
currently at this stage of my life. Considering joining the military just for a change of pace.
Beatful_chaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing wrong with military service, but there are definitely other ways to get a change of pace. If you really, really hate yourself but want to try to get that to the next level try academia.
Pirellan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hnn~
yeah she does.
abdullahcfix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, /r/officedepot.
NegroConFuego ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:58:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, they run and tell their friends that they were given a discount for just being smart and demanding one. If they didn't understand what OP said, they probably won't check the math.
TheElusiveBushWookie ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:37:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, sure. 2 for the price of 3!"
Idiotnextdoor_2 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 04:46:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 for the price of 6?
r/unexpectedfactorial
mgr86 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:37:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is tax is often applied before the discount...so you might owe more. Or if it is a situation where you would tip you should tip on the amount before the discounted price.
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:46:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Odd. It's the opposite here.
Mati676 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:13:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How else would you do that ?
ButterflyKoi5 ยท 626 points ยท Posted at 01:36:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They probably only hear the 'half off part' and get excited. Customers only hear what they want to hear.
DallasTruther ยท 560 points ยท Posted at 04:43:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I see a customer approaching
Me: Need any help finding anything?
Customer: Yes, thank you. polite smile and nod
Customer keeps walking, obviously ending our interaction
Happens almost every day.
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 05:48:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can I help you find anything?
No! I'm just looking! Do you have this?
Yes, walks away
they're confused
EnclaveHunter ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:53:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Walks to the back of the stock room never to be seen again till lunch break
Camelsloths ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 05:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or, my personal favorite: "how's it going?" "NO THANKS JUST LOOKING"
ihateyouguys ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:06:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always get a super friendly tone (no hint of passive aggression in the voice) and say, โRight on!โ
*brief but awkward silence while I look at them for a sec*
โSooooo, hows it going?โ
countermill2 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:57:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
100% me every day.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:12:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Smitten_the_Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:39:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of times, we weren't allowed to ask "yes" or "no" questions. We had to ask open-ended ones so they had to actually respond.
But the people who don't want to respond won't. I don't know why the corporate idiots thought this'd work.
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't you help me?! You were supposed to read my mind!
Ashlante ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:44:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My gf is deaf in one ear so that could happen with her very realistically, that our you thinking she just outright ignores the shit out of you if you're not in her fov.
Edit:typo
DersTheChamp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:43:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is when you ask them and they say no Iโm fine then not even 30 seconds later they yell oh wait never mind I do need help. I get not wanting to ask for help but damn either let me walk away or let me help you I donโt like doing both.
h3lblad3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:32:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hye
I have done this before because I thought I knew where something was but I wasn't there yet to see it had been moved.
DersTheChamp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:43:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And I completely understand that Iโve done it before itโs just annoying because when I was still working retail and being stuck on the electronics department I had to do a whole bunch of other stuff while making sure other people didnโt steal anything which was a big problem at our store on the graveyard shift.
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 09:36:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Pew___ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 11:47:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
please work in an understaffed retail environment for minimum wage before making dumb comments like this.
uid0gid0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to me when they did a major reset of a supermarket in my neighborhood. It took me and two employees a good 15 minutes to figure out where the peanut butter went.
Seiche ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:30:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
really that is the worst?
defZeppelin69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of my pet peeve: i answer the phone โhow can I help you?โ Customer responds โyes, Iโd like...โ Donโt know why this bothers me so much
Plettuce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a call center, a good portion of calls begin like this:
Me: Thank you for calling Company, my name is Plettuce, how can I help you?
Caller: Yes, I was calling.
๐
Seiche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you mumble the "how"
shuttheshadshackdown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: "Hello"
Them: "Fine, gas on 2 please"
Nume-noir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...I am going to start using that, thank you
julitolay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe try vocalizing next time
NeverBeenStung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm definitely guilty of this as a customer
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:56:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DallasTruther ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:10:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those aren't the kind of people who'd absentmindedly say "Yes," when asked if they needed help. But thanks for telling me what I "need" to learn, thank you very much.
WHY the fuck would you want to do that? Just answer in the negative and thank them.
Pew___ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:53:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's policy in god knows how many retail environments to "acknowledge every customer" or some other form of greeting everyone who walks through the door.
I'm sure most retail workers would rather punch you in the face than force a smile and ask if they could possibly please you in some way. Unfortunately their livelihood probably depends on that job, so they ask you if you need help. They see hundreds of people a day, you really don't stand out from any other customer.
Please get hit by a car
UnoKajillion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:12:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow dude. Just fucking wow
Super_Vegeta ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:46:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
100% true.
I work in an arcade with a lot of ticket games. We have a timed deal where you can just play the games, but you don't get to win tickets.
After telling them multiple times during the transaction "No Tickets" the amount of people who still come up to complain is astounding.
Gh0stWalrus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:59:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where do u work? Sounds like I work there. Exactly the same
Super_Vegeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TimeZone.
KommandantVideo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You guys can share memes at work!
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"ooh I get double? And half off the price? Great!"
frogger2504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It amuses me that you talk about "customers" as though they are a group that you do not belong to.
shawarma_llama ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:37:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been that guy, and I'll explain: I did get excited about the "half off", but when my brain processed the joke, I was too embarrassed to say anything, so I just enthusiastically went along pretending it was a great deal and hoping the cashier thought I was in on the joke. I guess it didn't work.
fizikz3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:52:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
eh, in your defense if I heard that joke I'd get it right away and act the exact same way you did. I'd play a long like I was super excited/grateful because what else do you do? not play along? lame.
G8kpr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:24:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget... A&W came out with 1/3 pounder.
It failed in the market, because people snubbed it, wondering why they would pay for a 1/3rd pounder, when they could get a 1/4 pounder at McDonalds... Oblivious to the fact that 1/4 is less than 1/3
link
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Should've called it the doble 1/6 pounder.
raindropsandrainbows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What about those who don't? I imagine they either get super pissed or just laugh it off
evilbrent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bakery near me had bread one loaf for $X and two loaves for $2X.
I figure they got sick of explaining to people there was no discount for bulk.
darkslayer114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always go with "I'll charge double but the second one is free."
ubiquitous_apathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People who overpay for their cars tend to be the happiest about their purchase. These types of people just want their salesperson to be nice to them.
i_give_two_fucks ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
stop using it, seriously, it's retarded. dumb little quips like that are annoying as fuck and only hinder normal transactions. i bartend with a guy who likes to use this retardedass line - customer: "could i get a budweiser?" him: "no, you couldn't. but i can" sits and waits for customer to get it customer gives awkward "oh, heh heh" and dude starts laughing like he's fucking king comedian. just stop with the shit, people don't care, they want to buy shit and go, not be entertained.
mmicecream ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:53:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If someone comes in demanding a discount this is a great way to move the situation along with minimal screaming. This is nothing like your anecdote at all. Chill the fuck out.
i_give_two_fucks ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:02:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
or, you know, we could have lots of people getting confused by it, and having to explain that's it's in fact some retarded saying/joke, instead of just a normal transaction by normal people buying and selling things
usernameYuNOoriginal ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:34:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to offer people my employee discount if they were very insistent: 'Alright! How much is that!?' '0%, we don't get a discount' 'Oh sorry...'
rheyniachaos ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:11:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bahaha and also awwwh
dvaunr ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:12:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds dumb but itโs human psychology for whatever reason (or at least U.S. psychology). See JC Penny as an example. They got a new CEO or something who got rid of all their sales pricing, they just had the low prices the sales would put everything at as the regular price. And their overall sales ranked. So they went back to the old way of marking everything way up and just constantly having it on sale and overall sales went back to normal. Even when people arenโt getting any sort of deal they still like to think they are.
pseudoart ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:07:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked retail and my boss was a cheeky sod thatโd banter a lot with the customers. One of his favorite things to do was to tell people โweโve got a special deal on those today. Take two and pay for three!โ - so many people would get excited over it.
naking ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:59:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tell them "two for the price of threeโ
Steve-C2 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:52:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are two things I learned about JC Penney's foray into "honest pricing."
First: you've described how sale prices work.
Second: People get very disappointed if they see the honest, low price without it being jacked up first then discounted.
Third, and more of a second part of the second point - people honestly feel cheated when they don't see a discount when it's a low price.
simplikano1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:27:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always say if you buy one item for double the price I'll give you a second one for free!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:04:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of what our guys in the field tell customers when we have a power outage (I'm in electric grid operations) -- "We won't charge you anything until the power comes back on." They are always pleased that their whining got them a special deal.
dontsuckmydick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny in theory but these days an ever increasing percentage of power bills are becoming a flat monthly fee with actually kwh prices dropping. This is to combat people supplementing their power with solar and using the grid as a "battery."
Of course this sounds great for large consumers of electricity but they also added "surge pricing" where businesses that use over x amount at any time during the month pay a huge surge fee so they ended up paying more too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I know it -- the contortions that occur to squeeze every last penny out of the customers never cease to amaze me.
FalseBuddha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go to is "Buy two, pay for both!"
Klopptomaniac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a shop and did an experiment to see how dumb people are. I put of box of chocolate bars next to my till with a sign that read โBuy two get the third for the same priceโ
Sold all the chocolates in the box that shift
GrampappyJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Buy one get one full price, plus tax.
datguyfromoverdere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was โBuy two for double the price of oneโ
infernoofihw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My response is "yeah, buy one get one full price"
Jaymezians ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to use this. I don't know when, as I don't work in retail anymore, but I will use it.
Protistas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, guess the reason everything ends in $.99 now is a lot clearer
Blooice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had two girls come up to me at the register making eyes at me and asked for a discount. I told them "how about [existing store discount that was advertised with banners all over], just for you?" They looked so excited
Bangersss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well sure, call it a business expense and claim the tax back on the full price of the item.
textingmycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!
extraeme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the ol' JC Penney method
CatbellyDeathtrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
buy one for the price of two and get the second one totally free!
StonyandUnk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ha, same people that say OK when told, I'll flip you for it, heads I win, tails you lose
GingerFurball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who loses 57 coin tosses in a row?
FourOnTheFloor93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Totally using that.
krebstar_2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
AKA "The Groupon"
GrimpenMar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is exactly the sales strategy many retailers use. Ever notice that (in Canada at least) that when Canadian Tire has something for v65% off!! That the price is actually around normal, and the so called"regular"price is stupid expensive? It is literally savings you can't believe.
dontsuckmydick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you buy one for double the price, I'll throw in another free!
pandamazing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All of the price for none of the deals!
abrown53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why don't you double it two times and give me 100% off?
teenagesadist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People don't want a good price, they want a discount. Mark something up 500 percent and give them 300 percent off, they'll eat that shit up in a second, and become mad if they have to pay a penny less.
One thing I learned working retail: People are fucking stupid.
Steiger92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna say this next time some customer immediately asks for a discount without giving me a reason they should get one.
Dracodeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got kind of a similar story in the way you say something obviously sarcastic and people donโt realize. However even though I was the customer I think it goes. My family was at this amusementpark and we were about to go to a restaurant. This sweet young girl is standing outside to greet the guests and reserve us a table . It was a buffet place so the price was the same all around. Well, the girl asks how many are eating, and my dad being a dad, starts to count us as we stand right infront of her, because he found the question obvious, right. We were 6 people and she could have easily counted that herself. Alas my dad starts counting and pointing with overenthusiasm, and goes โ**1. 2. 3. 4. AND. 5!โ
We got in and he only paid for five people, Iโve yet to try this trick successfully, but hopefully one day.
dragonthemagicpuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's because they only actually hear the second half
rtxiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I need to use this on my clients.
ThePravus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker of mine would give people like that a choice, 50% off double the price, or 50% off regular price then doubled. The amount of people who would argue for one or the other was very detrimental to my faith in humanity. He would sometimes end up having to use quarters to physically demonstrate that there was no difference between them and no actual discount.
OriginalIronDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use this all the time, except I tell them Iโll double the price, then give them 10% off.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:25:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised I never thought of this, I'm going to try it
WhyApplePie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i wanna get a job in retail just to do this
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:37:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked at a grocery store that had a "five for five" sale, where you can get five items for five dollars. They were little things but it was a pretty good sale. A customer yelled at me for five minutes because his items were ringing up at a dollar each instead of five for five dollars.
theinsanepotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never used that one, but I had a rule when I worked retail that any time someone made the "didnt scan? must be free!" joke, I would always look them dead in the eyes and say, as serious as I possibly could, "Actually, we charge an extra fee to anyone who makes that joke."
The number of people who believed it is saddening.
(also, ffs people, I dont care who you are, what your life is like, what you do for a living, etc, every single human being on the planet should know better than to make that shitty joke. It was never funny even when it was brand new, and you KNOW damn well that any cashier you say it to is guaranteed to have heard it 15 times already that day. Just... why would you EVER think it was a good idea to make that joke? If something doesnt scan, just say nothing. Saying nothing is often the best option.)
Videoboysayscube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Buy one item, get the second at regular price!
Rabidleopard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So the JC Penny's approach it is.
JTsyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I figure that's just SOP.
JTeam_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Give this person gold. Right now.
dontsuckmydick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll give them zero gold and then double it!
DenizenPrime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"50% increase and a 50% decrease, and we've got a deal!
GingerFurball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd take that.
Item is ยฃ10. 50% increase is ยฃ15. 50% off ยฃ15 is ยฃ7.50.
DenizenPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
(that's the joke)
People are bad at math and they thing it's equal.
OPs_other_username ยท 2444 points ยท Posted at 02:30:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked overnight at Kinkos. Customer comes in uses self serve, comes to the counter and talks to my manager.
Customer: "Across the street they do copies for half your price I want you to match that."
Manager: "Sorry, I can't do that."
C: "What do you mean? You should match."
M looks at them and then pointedly looks across the street. Gives his sickingly sweet smile.
M: "You are free to use them if you want."
C: "But they're closed and I need the copies before they open."
Manager, still smiling, spreads his arms and shrugs.
Customer paid.
He was my first manager, decades later, still one of my favorites.
TigerSaint ยท 524 points ยท Posted at 05:34:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHey, look! The prices for making copies just doubled!โ
Honesty_Addict ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 07:05:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"But tell you what, I'll half the price."
"Wow, thank you!"
PM-ME-YOUR-HANDBRA ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 11:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E
T
A
Purplekangatoo ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:08:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Demand suddenly skyrocketed, you all saw it!
architkhandelwal47 ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 05:02:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Manager knows how to handle hagglers
Forseti1590 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:31:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All about that leverage. Understand what you have and what others can do and then don't take shit
terranq ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 06:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad did something similar when he ran a garage. Guy came in asking for a fuel filter, dad said "Sure, it's $34.99." Guy said "Well, the other place has them on for $24.99, you should match that." Dad said he wouldn't price match and suggested he go there to get it instead, and the guy said they were out of stock. My dad told him, "That's too bad, when I'm out, mine are on for $19.99!" The guy didn't think it was too funny.
switchstyle ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 07:03:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"We also have great deals on shit we don't have." I'm doing fuel pumps for 5 bucks folks.
kdeltar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:17:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs nothing on my deals of things I donโt have! Whenever Iโm out of stock things only cost ยข1
Faustias ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:21:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
is kinkos a convinience store with kinky displays?
rividz ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 05:44:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a sexy breakfast cereal.
Chasefortheelliott ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:57:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has different opinions on Kink-O's because everyone has different tastes. For me, Kink-O's taste like shit
samasa101 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:12:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is gold.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:53:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Liniis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:41:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a 25 year old man. I'm already up in the morning.
soenottelling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:37:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinkos! It's a spank to the taste buds!
ImperialSlug ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:16:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ours are that price when we're closed.
pongky77 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:03:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Didn't have my glasses on and read it as "hugs"
LetterSwapper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:38:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You were actually right, those other letters are silent.
ninjacapricorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:11:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I currently work at Fedex Office (they bought out Kinkos) and people always come into my store complaining about our prices and want us to match with Staples, UPS, and the post office like go there if you can't afford it!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a local print shop and constantly hear "...but Vistaprint charges X for this! I want to shop local, can you price match?"
If you can find a better price for the product you want I wholeheartedly suggest you go with that option.
GreatArkleseizure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be a touch of genius to base your prices on when the other place is open ... when they are open, match their prices; when they are closed, double it.
algy888 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:36 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYes, they are closed to keep their costs lower. While we stay open longer to better serve the needs of our customers.โ
Like most things, you get what you pay for.
MaiqKnowsMuch ยท 774 points ยท Posted at 03:38:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Called a pizza place once. After ordering my pizza I said โCan I get a 2 liter Dr. Pepper?โ and he responds โYou can purchase a 2 liter.โ Iโm too nice because I said โOh, sorry, thatโs what I meant.โ But after ending the call I thought...what an asshole.
JacobeDrexle ยท 461 points ยท Posted at 04:51:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โCan I go to the washroom?โ โI donโt know, can you go to the washroom?โ
intimatebadthoughts ยท 156 points ยท Posted at 05:01:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing. I went to school in Germany, and it's the exact same thing over here. This shit is directly translatable and you'll make as many German students bang their heads against the wall remembering elementary school as you will Americans.
Adenosine66 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:16:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting, French, Spanish and Italian donโt make a โcan I / may Iโ distinction but the Scandinavian languages do (according to Google translate), must be the Germanic roots of the languages that do
Beeristheanswer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:35:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, "kan jag / fรฅr jag" in Swedish.
AppleDane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Kan jeg / mรฅ jeg" on the other side of the Sound.
kragnor ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:30:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What makes it better is you can respond (in english anyway) by explaining how using can in that sentence is still the proper use as can can be used to ask for permission to do something.
Acc87 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:11:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
this will make every teacher hate you for being a smartass tho
kragnor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:37:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely, but its a war they started and a war they will lose.
idrive2fast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:02:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colloquialisms ftw
aido727 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:25:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
... and everyone else who speaks English.
intimatebadthoughts ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:27:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah sure. The sentence was just already too long for my liking lol. Use largest group as an example. โ๐ป
rebahaze ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:28:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a Canadian, I'm offended. /s
intimatebadthoughts ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 07:56:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Criptid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"English-speakers" would work
intimatebadthoughts ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Germany also is not the only German-speaking country. I don't see anyone complaining about picking the biggest representative there lol
SPIN_ThaBarrelz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
am austrian, am offended, now u see one lol
intimatebadthoughts ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:16:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Noted and appreciated.
sfmclaughlin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On behalf of the Swiss community, I too lodge a complaint.
Criptid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:51:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The original comment was talking about the similarities between the two countries, so it makes sense to say Germans and Americans.
worotan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but Germans donโt behave like Americans, so...
Photog77 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 17:34:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You mean they don't invade other countries or they have better manners?
ilikecakemor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had German in high school and our teacher taught as to say "Ich muss mal".
intimatebadthoughts ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:10:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd feel like a 5 year old child saying that tbh. Its kind of a childish phrase, at least that's how it's used around where I'm from. But hey if it's dumb but it works it ain't dumb! Up until late in secondary school we used to ask "Darf ich kurz zur Toilette gehen?", "Darf ich kurz rausgehen?", etc. Obviously most people used "kann" instead of "darf" which led to stupid comebacks like this. As we got older it wasn't a matter of asking permission anymore, just a courtesy to notify the teacher before we go.
aard_fi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:51:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Another German here, when we got older we were told to just quietly leave the class room when we needed to go to the toilet - asking/notifying just disturbs the flow of the lesson, and would be rather pointless at that point anyway.
idrive2fast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:05:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That works when you're in a class with other students who want to learn. If you're unfortunate enough to go to a school or be in a class with kids who are only there because they're legally required to be, you aren't letting them get up and leave the classroom at will.
ilikecakemor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He did like to make jokes, our teacher.
Nachohead1996 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:03:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't the German question for can I go ... (being allowed to) be "Darf ich ..." (more likely translated as May i go ...), whilst *Can i go ... (physically being able to go) be "Kann ich ..."?
My German is kind of rusty, but I'm pretty sure that is how you would ask if you can go to the bathroom
intimatebadthoughts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Technically yes, but you're about as likely to say "Darf ich" in German as you are to say "May I" in English.
Nachohead1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you are not a foreign speaker, and instead are learning German, because then the teachers will call you out on your Darf ich / Kann ich mistake EVEN MORE OFTEN THAN THEY ALREADY DO!
KallistiEngel ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
unzips
"I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?!"
TalkToTheGirl ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:59:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It looks like a dick, only smaller.
OldManWilliamson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:25:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a clitoris, Mister. Not that you'd know.
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 06:02:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once in high school I heard a kid reply "Look teach, we both know what I mean, everyone here knows what I mean. Now I can just drop a deuce on your desk, but are you going to let me go to the bathroom or not?"
Franimal26 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:56:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So how many detentions did he get?
PuttingInTheEffort ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:29:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I think the teacher was so taken off guard by it she only said something along the lines of "ugh just go" and pointed out the door
ElysianGalaxies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:54:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep!
walks out
Everestkid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:56:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Always wanted to do this, but I rarely had to go, and when I did, I always had that one teacher who wasn't a misinformed grammar Nazi.
Mac4491 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If a teacher ever said no to me for no reason other than just saying no, I would just go anyway. I don't mind waiting 5 minutes for them to explain something, or waiting for another pupil to come back first but saying no for the sake of it is only done for a power trip.
Of course, I made that all up. I'd think about going anyway but wouldn't. Instead I'd just ask 10 minutes later while jumping up and down on the spot. Works like a charm.
lavoixinconnue ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โToo late...can I get a mop?โ
Eshyj ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:07:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Idk CAN you get a mop?
ronin1066 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can purchase a mop.
Cialis-in-Wonderland ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:07:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, can you?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:51:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damnit I had the perfect meme for his and I canโt find it! Can I go look for it?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:46:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"May you... fuck off?"
JerseyByNature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:41:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher, can I go take a shit with my belt wrapped around my neck, thinking about how i never have to listen to your inane ramblings again, as the last vestiges of life slip from my small body, and the evidence of my first complete adult ejaculation stains front of my brand new Z Cavariccis?
T - "I don't know, CAN YOU???"
enterthedragynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hate those people........
Pretty sure these are the same A-holes that gladly point out that Alannis Morrissette's "Ironic" is "more of a series of unfortunate events".
I know..... we get it...... thanks.
switchstyle ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 07:12:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sure buddy, just get me what I'm ordering and I'll pay you what you bill, as is tradition."
I fail to see how a pizza order guy could get caught up in the semantics.
Bet he has a heart attack when someone calls up "yea I'll take 3 large pies for delivery". Just hangs up and yells "call the cops! We're being robbed!"
MaiqKnowsMuch ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:24:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was being an ass. He had this smug tone the whole time. As you pointed out, itโs not like getting shit free is a regular thing,
DrakeSparda ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:18:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More like he has had experience where someone said something along those line after ordering something else and expected it for free. So having to clarify might make them sound like an asshole but it saves their ass when dealing with asshole customers.
erondites ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:18:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You could just say, โsure, theyโre $2.99โ or something like that.
DrakeSparda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:25:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It is all about tone when speaking. For all we know the "you can purchase a 2 liter" was said very politely, and the customer just did not take it that way. Working in customer service you learn to try to be clear, or else cause more headaches later. Unfortunately, no matter how you say something it can be taken poorly.
erondites ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True, true. Iโve said things that I meant to be polite and helpful in a way that came off as rude.
huntinkallim ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:49:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like an English teacher moonlighting at a pizza place.
Classified0 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:41:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Moonlighting? If he's an English major, it may be his full time career.
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:54:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oof
buckyforever ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:12:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He probably had someone ask him the same question before and then they bitched when the soda wasn't free.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:54:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, I think the world could use more nice people. And there's no sense in getting worked up because some pizza employee was snappy. He's probably miserable at his job and gets people asking for free shit all the time, saying "oh sorry" and moving on would have been my course of action too.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You may not but you can suck my dick
Unthunkable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:04:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he thought you were asking for one to be thrown in free?
ZeroZwei ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:16:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was a couple that went into a diner near my house and asked if they could have this and that and then when they got asked to pay, refused to do so as they had asked if they could have it, so they assumed that meant they could get it for free. That guys wasn't even gonna risk it.
zdakat ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:03:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He probably wanted to clarify that it would be an extra cost. Then again, someone who wanted "get" to mean included(same cost rather than plus) probably would've ignored it anyway,haha.
bononooo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:30:57 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Things like that keep me up at night.
"I should've said this instead dammit"
Schumarker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked behind a bar and my reply was "I'll get it for you if you like, that's what I get paid for"
MaiqKnowsMuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:17:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thatโs clever :)
jaywinner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good chance somebody has used that kind of language then refused to pay for something they thought was free.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:54:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My guess is he's had too many people try to get the pizza place to give them stuff for free just because. Hospitality also has that issue.
algy888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:01 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โOh, you mean the pizza was free? Sure Iโll pay for the pop!โ
nfsnobody ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 05:59:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell is a โliterโ? Something cats poo in?
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A litre/liter is a unit of liquid measurement. You know those big boss bottles of soda? Those. Fun fact: the name boss bottles came from a pepsi campaign.
Lukeyy19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Outside of the US, we don't generally have those short and fat "boss" 2 litre bottles you guys have, our 2 litre bottles are taller and thinner so that may not be a good example - https://i.imgur.com/MJJ9CE7.jpg
nfsnobody ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 06:19:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, no idea what a โbig bossโ is. Looks like 2 litres. Iโve never come across a โliterโ before though. Is that just an American way of spelling?
Lilaleguan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:33:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing, just the spelling in American English, German, Danish, Afrikaans, and probably a good few more
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, liter is the american spelling of litre.
Oh, and a 'boss bottle' is another name for a 2 litre, which comes from that pepsi campaign I mentioned. That's what they called them when the introduced them. The term is still used up here in Maine sometimes depending on the age of the speaker.
nfsnobody ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cool thanks, thatโs interesting. TIL!
What are normal sizes of soft drink (I think you call it soda) in the US? I assume a 2L is a rarity? I was of the impression your drinks were measured in galleons or ounces?
thatonesillymexican ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 liters are some of the most common sizes. Granted it's not usually just for one person
LemonyTuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And they go flat pretty quickly.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 litre's what you buy to keep in the fridge and pour some out of into a cup. And we weirdly use metric for some stuff, and imperial for others. Like we call those 2 litres instead of half-gallons, but we call 500mL bottles (the normal drink size) a 16.9flOZ (Fluid ounce. Which is different from a regular ounce. WAT.).
nfsnobody ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:19:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah we have 390ml (which I assume has some imperial origin), 600ml, 1.25L and 2L interesting!
MaiqKnowsMuch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 liter sodas are good for group functions. Letโs say you have a party or something. Much better to buy one 2 liter soda than a ton of cans. Then you can just get a few glasses, fill them with ice, and you have a party.
It can also be used to drink over a period of time but they often go flat a few hours after being opened so that sucks.
anarchyisutopia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:12 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a large-farva.
Phrostbit3n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'merica, bitch
renegadecanuck ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 05:23:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling a TV to a man once, and he would not understand that I wasn't going to haggle with him. From his accent, I'm guessing he hadn't lived here very long, and was used to being able to barter on everything.
"How much for this TV?"
"$700."
"No, really, best offer."
"In that case... $700."
"Come on, you got to work with me, here."
"...okay, for $700, I'll even bring it to your car"
"No no, I give you $500"
"Then you're not getting this TV"
"It's like you don't want to make a sale"
"I'm not commission. I don't particularly care, sir."
"You're not going to bargain?"
"We're a big box store, we don't haggle."
"Really?"
I'm pretty sure I blew his mind that night.
LetterSwapper ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:51:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
God I hated those people when I worked retail. One guy was buying two medium-ticket electronics items and then told me I should throw in all the accessories for free because, "I'm sure you don't see this kind of sale every day."
It was at that moment that I realized I needed to break up with my girlfriend. She thought she should be able to haggle for everything, even at the local supermarket. Going shopping with her had become so embarrassing that I would avoid it at all costs.
renegadecanuck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:24:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard of bad customers, but never "you're such a bad customer that I'm breaking up with my girlfriend because of you."
erondites ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:22:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I went to a Kroger and threw a โpepino melonโ in my cart even though it was $2.99, because it looked interesting. When I got to the checkout the cashier gave it to me for free because she couldnโt find it in her produce code booklet, and apparently Kroger encourages giving away novel produce so people can try it.
Anyway, moral of the story is donโt buy pepino melons because theyโre worse than cucumbers and theyโre worse than melons.
StabbyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i had the worst when i was trying to sell a car - agreed on a price, took it in for a mechanic inspection, and then they tried to lowball me after it came back clean. even after i flat refused to budge, they kept trying to offer me shit prices.
Supraman83 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:34:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh I deal with this frequently. "We are buying 500sq ft of flooring can we get a price break?" LMAO, no. You are ordering a very average size, I'm not dropping the price on it a single cent. Add another 0 to that number and yeah lemme see what I can do.
Khal_Kitty ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 04:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell online and get quite a bit of โwhat can you do if I buy TWO?โ like theyโre some big shot thatโs going to make my year.
Meanwhile I have customers ordering 5+ units at full price.
Supraman83 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:08:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah gets old. With flooring I understand that most people dont realize 500sq ft is an average order since it is probably a big order to them but to someone that sees them everyday they are mundane.
Khal_Kitty ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:19:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I guess it could sound a lot. FIVE HUNDRED SQUARE FEET.
modeler ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:24:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I believe that a pinky in the mouth is needed for full effectiveness.
LetterSwapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh behave!
SirJefferE ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:05:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You don't understand. I'm ordering 464, 515 square centimeters of the stuff. I should get a discount.
LetterSwapper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:44:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but there's a kilofee for ordering in non-freedom units.
SirJefferE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No problem. How many pounds is that?
LetterSwapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh now there's a foreign currency fee, as we only deal in dollarydoos.
stoflothrow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:57:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes I'll ask if there's a price break, and where does it generally start... like beginning with an order of X units. This seems to be a less offensive way of discovering where the discount might apply. You need to be a serious buyer, though. Every per-unit price is negotiable if you're buying enough of something.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:13:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I generally do the opposite. When people are asking for a discount I ask them how many they are planning to buy.
To be honest I'd probably give a (minor) discount for two on most things.. assuming they weren't planning on getting two already.
Khal_Kitty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes people do that just to probe. Get an idea of what your margins are and how low youโd be able to go on one unit.
But yeah if a customer is cool I do give discounts if they ask. Itโs when they expect it that I get annoyed... Especially non/profits asking for free stuff and then being rude if Iโm too backed up to make free shit for their event.
slightlyintoout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Right, we often hear "how much for 10" followed by "Ok I'll take one" followed by "but you said for 10 it would be X each"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah nothing worse than people who feel like you owe them something.
As a general rule try and reward people who don't ask for discounts and are just generally good customers by offering them, and refusing discounts to people who do ask. That's how it should work, in my opinion, you don't reward shitty behaviour with discounts.
Unfortunately we're up against the retail giants and panicked salesmen on commission who can't stand losing a sale and love to treat people who bitch and complain extra special, just ensuring they continue to do it wherever possible.
Virtualchemist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are not nice. These people are not necessarily aware it's average, they are just asking. It shouldn't be such a pain for you to reply to a simple question like that.
united_kakotopia ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:55:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During my barely making it by, if that, days I used to always ask. You would be surprised how often it turned out something was on sale for members only or some sort of discount for signing up for a free membership.
When you barely have enough for food it doesn't hurt to ask, especially at grocery store.
PseudoEngel ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:54:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work in hospitality. People will frequently ask for discounts and there arenโt very big discounts where I work, but there are some that I can apply. I usually ask what people are in town for and if they qualify for a discount(letโs say for like a medical visit) theyโll get it and be reminded to request that same discount next time. We need people to be repeat guests and sometimes discounts help with that.
BurningOrangeHeaven ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:05:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Atleast those people paid regular price. A lady once mistakenly thought the price of an item was $20 more than it actually was. I tried to give her the lower price but she went crazy yelling at me and cursing me out because she was too angry to understand i was giving it to her cheaper. Even asked for my boss so fuck it i just let her pay the higher price. Ya really cant help stupid people.
CatnipChapstick ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:49:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was helping a woman at IKEA pick out a chair. She likes one of the nicer, more expensive models. โThis one is nice, but the base is so expensive! Iโm not even sitting on it, canโt I buy a Cheaper base?โ I pointed out that plenty of chairs use bases interchangeably, but this isnโt one of them. You just have to buy the correct one. I also mentioned that we have a few of the same chairs in our As-Is section (clearance/scratch and dent) with only my minor stains. Her face scrunched up, โNo, I want a NICE chair!โ Ok, so you want a nice chair, but just donโt want to pay for it, got it, have a nice day!
jason_stanfield ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:30:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell music instruments for a living, and a good 25% of customers ask "do you give musician discounts?"
Yes: it's double the discount the tire store gives you for being a driver, and triple the amount the furniture store offers those who sit down a lot.
mycatisreallyfat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:56:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"No, but I can show you the cheap crap."
itsalwayspopcorntime ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:26:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sometimes i ask that because there are shops where i live that will have discounts with specific credit cards, or like payments without interest, things like that. sometimes stores also have 10 to 15% off by joining the newsletter or sending a code (h&m, monki), or 10% off if you're a student (topshop)
misterintj ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My grandfather managed a lumber store in the 60s. One day, a pastor came into the store and brought a few items to the cash register. He hopefully asked my grandfather, โDo you discount the clergy?โ Without missing a beat, my grandfather said, โNo, I think they have their place.โ
theturtleherder ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:11:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at kohls and the customers are by far the most spoiled, entitled women in the world. The only time I ever genuinely smiled was when the regulars would come up and say โDo you have my coupons for me?โ and I said โNope!โ as they looked at the clearly visible stack of coupons next to me that I could easily scan for them.
slower_wifi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a questions every single customer asks in Iran. And they call me a mouse for not asking it
strahag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what business you work in, or the tone in which he asked, but there's many situations in which this is an entirely appropriate and reasonable question.
Bleed_Peroxide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:49:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a home improvement store, and heard at least twice a shift, "I want the employee discount." (The fuck, you don't work there???)
To which I would laugh and go, "Yeah, well, so would I."
prewars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell phones and people lately have been suggesting I give them a case for free since, I don't know, I guess they're paying the same price everyone else is for the phone. I've started saying "I'll tell you what, if you pay for it, I'll let you have it!"
creatively41 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I really like that line
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even remotely funny...
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:18:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's such a good answer though
Invisibones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a certain discounted retailer that is very popular in the US and Canada. A lot of people shop at these stores in particular because they know we mark down products often, both through the normal process of clearing out stock to make way for new items and also because things are damaged. The amount of people who push it as far as it can go, shamelessly, just digging for that discount is astonishing. Petty things, a single thread pulled on the corner of couch, a scuff you can rub off on a shoe, little tiny things. And there are times when we put our foot down, and we're always undermined by our manager to keep the customer happy. The company probably loses so much money giving markdowns on products that don't need it and allowing returns on merchandise we can't salvage or resell. We're only supposed to give 10% MAXIMUM if there is damage and not sell it if it's so damaged that 10% is not enough, but the customers are not stupid and immediately ask for the 10% right away, know that our bosses are pushovers if they complain enough, and generally know it's up to the discretion of the coordinator or manager to mark down product. SO BASICALLY, yes, anything they set their little eyes on can and probably will be discounted if they grovel and whine enough.
Chromosome_Cowboy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you work at TJ Maxx by chance?
Invisibones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:51:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As far as I know, there aren't TJ Maxx stores in Canada anymore, so no. But you get it.
Bdavi011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The amount of people in this whole thread who say they do this on occasion outstands me. I work in car rental and the amount of people who come in and say they want a discount for whatever reason totally pisses me off. If you cant afford it in the first place, maybe you shouldnt be buying it.
indiemosh ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:09:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's why they're renting, duh.
captainmavro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Loved doing that. I sold bmws for years and people would come in and say what's your best price? "Well my best price is $2k over list what's yours?" Most people were dumbstruck by that but sometimes you'd get the knee jerk reply saying "well I mines $2k below" "perfect! How about we meet in the middle!" Worked a few times just outta sheer boldness
tradingten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love your reply
Middonaitto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As someone that works in retail I totally relate, I've had numerous occasions when someone comes in just before close and asks if we can discount anything that won't be on sale tommorow. I always respond with "no that's not really how shops work."
mikkylock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People ask us alot if we give discounts, mostly for military or for elderly. We are located near a marine base...in a retiree town. We'd go out of business. My husband is polite though...he always says "No, we make sure our low prices are available for everyone."
Loves2Spooge857 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:51:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Now I wanna know if I'm a cheap ass hole cause most places I go I ask if there are any deals
Octopus_Tetris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:24:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Were you playing drums at the time?
youllneverfindthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:06:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a similar story. I work at in upscale resort, and get a lot of very entitled guests. One time this lady asked if the package she booked included breakfast, and when we mentioned that, unfortunately not that particular package, she said โoh okay. Well an you place a resort credit on my room then?โ When we told her there was no credit to give her, she told us to go ask our manager to find something. She basically wanted us to just give her money to spend at the resort for free.
omahaknight71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm using that at work. Thank you!
Arctic_Puppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked somewhere that gave a military discount and would often get old people who were pissed off that we didn't have a senior discount. "You have a military discount and not a senior discount?"
I don't even know how many times I had to keep myself from blurting out, "All you've done is not die, why should you get a discount?"
Virtualchemist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why do you feel like insulting your customers for asking if there's any discount up? I don't get it. I regularly ask if there are student discounts in cinema, chain restaurant, etc. Some places have it, some don't and often you can't know without asking. Does it make me a "cheap ass" ?
GingerFurball ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:15:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
Virtualchemist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:14:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So why do student discounts even exist if you shouldn't ask for it...?
Omvega ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit loves to act smart but hates the learning process ๐
aldhibain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:09:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, ask away.
Students are cheapasses.
aldhibain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The guy in the example headed right in to ask for the discount. Implication here is that he's only going to purchase anything if there are discounts, which does rather make him a cheapass. If you go to a place to eat and they tell you they haven't a student discount, do you walk out and find a place that does?
Virtualchemist ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure why him asking directly about discounts would imply he only wants to buy if there are discounts. Maybe he just wants to be clear on that asap so he can take it into consideration when deciding what to purchase.
derek2695 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a retail liquor store and had an awesome boss. He encouraged saying stuff like that haha
The_Quibbler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of two snarky, extra-bitchy femme dudes I used to work with in music retail. They never held back, and because it was a indie store owned by a very tolerant Motorhead fan, they never got shit for it.
Actually miss those days. Sorta like those novelty cafes where the wait staff cuss at you. No, not Starbucks, the other one...
DimeBagJoe2 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:22:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I definitely wouldn't have felt bad about saying that, he was behind an ass. Just gotta hope your manager understands
Harperformal ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'being a cheap ass' yeah I want to pay full price for all my items please. I have no imagination and I am a good consumer.
mandy_01 ยท 1593 points ยท Posted at 00:36:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In this case, I was the customer.
I had run by my roommates work to drop off something to her and buy something. Since both her and her manager were working the cash registers, I asked "who's checking me out?"
Without blinking her manager goes, "I've been checking you out all night."
I left and he turned to my roommate, "Did I say what I think I did?"
Turns out he was high on pain meds. But I still got a great story out of it.
sqqueen ยท 239 points ยท Posted at 03:41:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a bookstore in Florida at quitting time once. I was having my purchases scanned when the other cashier found the only other customer and asked, "would you like me to ring you out?" and the customer replied, while makinG a wringing motion, "Why? I'm not wet!"
I still think it was funny, decades later.
marsasagirl ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 09:10:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was telling a coworker a stupid pun I made earlier in the day. Some guy came in and used his smart watch to pay and I said, โguess itโs time to pAyโ he didnโt think it was funny but the customer talking to us did. I wish that customer would come back and laugh at more of my jokes.
OPs_other_username ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 17:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About a decade ago I decided making others laugh was too difficult. Moving forward I focused on making myself laugh, if others laughed it was a bonus. My life got better (the lives of those who hated my jokes didn't improve).
marsasagirl ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:33:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm slowly evolving into that mindset. I feel for my boyfriend sometimes though. I say some weird shit.
PrnGam ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 16:13:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am I stupid? Cus I really donโt get this one.
HellWolf1 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 16:15:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He paid with a watch. It was time to pay
PrnGam ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 16:35:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, the capital A was confusing me.
marsasagirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:32:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm on mobile. My keyboard is wonky sometimes but honestly my joke was bad. I enjoyed it though.
AhhGetAwayRAWR ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:17:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Watches show you the time, the guy said "time" to pay when the customer was paying with his smartwatch.
Amazi0n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 17:27:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"pAy" made me think that the pun was in that word
PrnGam ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:35:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the explanation.
LehighAce06 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 05:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Top notch dad joke
Amazing_Archigram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:03:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not yet you aren't ;)
wolfman1911 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:01:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The twist was that he wasn't on pain meds at all, that was just his great save.
[deleted] ยท 18879 points ยท Posted at 23:51:41 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i was a bartender.. a guy came in and ordered a french press coffee. while i was making it we were talking and he said โoh yeah - i like my coffee how i like my women...can you guess?โ for whatever reason my immediate reply was โfull of cream?โ...my manager was behind me and burst into laughter. i immediately regretted it. the look of horror on the guys face, i was so embarrassed.
apparently he was going to stay โhot and strongโ.
EDIT; it was a bar & restaurant, so we had french presses with our brunch menu. chock full o nuts coffee ;) also, iโm a lady.
shout out to my husband because heโs so proud this is my top voted comment. this is his favorite story. and we are cracking up over the variations of this joke.
maybeCarmenSanDiego ยท 8495 points ยท Posted at 01:35:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, that wasn't an incorrect answer either
DigNitty ยท 4444 points ยท Posted at 02:23:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely no public hair?
Keyguardactive ยท 2744 points ยท Posted at 02:32:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bitter and likely to give me third degree burns.
unholymackerel ยท 2767 points ยท Posted at 02:40:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Freshly ground, in a bag in the freezer.
[deleted] ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 02:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Over boiling water
GardenGnomeOfEden ยท 248 points ยท Posted at 02:57:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tied up in a burlap bag and carried down the slopes of the Andes on the back of a donkey.
Iputupwiththisshit ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 03:58:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fair trade
OliveTheory ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 05:02:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hot, black, and preferrably fair trade.
OfficialSandwichMan ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:07:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without a penis
Or with one, I don't judge
BlooFlea ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:23:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well I've never had a woman or a coffee with a penis so I'm not going to dismiss it entirely
OfficialSandwichMan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:21:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like the way you think. Don't bash it til you try it, amirite?
7LeagueBoots ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 04:56:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mail order
poodles_and_oodles ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 05:10:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
covered in bees
denjin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Imported from a 3rd world country
KingSix_o_Things ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Passed through a cat's intestines.
ICreditReddit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:43:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without another man's dick in it
aeiluindae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shit out of a civet.
JawnsDoesReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a plastic cup
bradorsomething ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:26:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only on the internet, and in real life, I cannot get any coffee.
HouseO1000Flowers ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:02:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only grown in a specific region in Ethiopia.
smitywrbnjAgrmanjnsn ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:46:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wtf dude
MayorBee ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 04:24:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know. You only grind what you're going to use immediately. Putting it in the freezer can ruin the flavor.
Atryuki ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:27:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You speak from experience?
MayorBee ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:29:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, that's like coffee 101.
thepurplehedgehog ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:10:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, are we still talking coffee here?
Inumelll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You like jazz, mayor Bee?
nowake ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:53:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dumped out on the thruway halfway home from work
NowThisIsHappening ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:35:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Blended with ice and poured into a cup with "Vtephen" written in sharpie
YohanGoodbye ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:34:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Stephen with a 'v'."
NowThisIsHappening ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
;)
mniarcffwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Phil with an F.
KingSix_o_Things ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:10:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Passed through a cat's intestines.
A_Gentle_Taco ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:26:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gone when im done.
Kigarta ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:34:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why the hell are you putting your grounds in the freezer?
Sick fuck.
leeloobond ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:33:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plastic cup.
DM_DEEP_QUOTES ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:21:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL YOU BITCH
SkaJamas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Strong, black, and proud.
pyroSeven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:53:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shat out by a wild jungle cat.
alwaysawkward66 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:04:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy coffees... Among other things
Rhodie114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:38:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brought to me straight from Colombia in a burlap sack.
h2obox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee.
Drew707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Preferably fair trade.
Phreakhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So you just open the freezer, grab a handful, and start chewing?
BlooFlea ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:24:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Chew coffee? What are you a psycopath?
Glorfendail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is the worst way to store your coffee!! Makes it lose all the flavor!!
Sin2K ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, t-shirt hell...
ILikeLenexa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, once it's in the freezer, it's not freshly ground anymore.
I_play_elin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dark...
Project2r ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:03:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And here I was, not even knowing that coffee could be emotionally unavailable.
donquexada ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:00:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WITHOUT SOME OTHER DUDES DICK IN IT
userbelowisamonster ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:02:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
White and sweet, but weak?
clnsdabst ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cold, black and bitter for me.
AdamFuckingHenrique ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well that escalated quickly
KensX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stealing this one!
jfb1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:05 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without someone else's penis in it
sweetcircus ยท 175 points ยท Posted at 02:50:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pubic hair either... or private hair, if you will.
pRyapus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:08:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without someone else's dick in it
thenewtransportedman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:34:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only private hair.
Hadntreddit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:33:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I read this a pubic but I mean yeah that, too.
AMPsaysWOO ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:42:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's good.
Next time someone says this, I'm going to reply with "With just a little bit of pubic hair?"
cyborgdingo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:51:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh... In that case, let me make you another one.
saveface ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And no private hairs either!
wibz47 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:34:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah she better keep that stuff private!
Dash_O_Cunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So bald and no facial hair at all?
dreamlike17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even eyebrows?
Dash_O_Cunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well they said no "public" hair. I read that as no hair that tis visible to the public. So yeah no eyebrows
StonyBrooke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only private allowed
Jackrwood ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair is the worst.
rangoon03 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a small cup size?
sarahgene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:12:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
With a tasteful amount of pubic hair
IHazMagics ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:29:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think of it like this; if you were going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no-one had fucked it.
cosmos7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I honestly think that's one's better than the OP...
Vigothecruel168 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As little public hair as possible is best.
PinkDalek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So completely bald?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
VikingTeddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
comineeyeaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite response to the setup.
nibbins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer private hair as well.
i_Fart_You_Smell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was going to say black and a little sweet, but I hadnโt considered that.
JustSayNo_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair...
JobieWan_Kenobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
minimal pubic hair
dankmernes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How am I so old and never have heard this one
top of the pops
thermal_shock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Like other peoples hair? Communal?
to_vex_a_stranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, bald?
Trevo91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
public hair
dubdigidob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What about private hair?
Mathilliterate_asian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So private hair is allowed?
sweetpotato37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct answer.
paxterrania ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Black, bitter and preferably Fair Trade."
put_the_candle_back ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
With a spoon in them?
Miniminotaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair? Are they the type of women you keep in a basement?
ronin1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You have to fix this! Amazing idea, spelling totally screwed it up.
mowbuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:46:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair
Leafs9999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:49:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair?
araja123khan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hair from the public. Sounds disgusting as well
Amazinglassie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That wonโt be the French then..
PM_Literally_Anythin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dig public hair. Itโs their private hair I prefer women to remove.
Who-Dey88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't stand seeing hair in public either friend
Mojimi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair
Vader3654 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Public hair - would that be on the head, eyebrows, etc? Places that are visible to the public?
dlb1177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What about private hair?
Ultimateace43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
as opposed to private hair?
tytYoungLion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:42 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer
Th3K00n ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This.... This one got me good๐๐๐ Iโm imagining some barista asking me how I like my coffee. I respond with โI like my coffee how I like my women.โ
Then she responds with, โCovered in pubic hair?โ๐๐๐๐
Edit: re read and it says public. But still, funny๐๐
selrahc007 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Mackem101 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:55:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unethically picked from a 3rd world country?
worotan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:21:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Passed through the bowels of a goat?
IM-PICKLE-RIIICK ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:05:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He asked for it
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was the only answer.
yolo-yoshi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love how his manager is a good sport as well.
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cold and bitter.
SALT1NES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Made by my dad.
amdufrales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without a penis?
Cervelodriver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Blonde and Slutty? (Might have said too much)
crackedpot11 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:22:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Blonde and nutty? You could at least play ignorance with this one.
[deleted] ยท 3990 points ยท Posted at 02:28:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The guy who is going for the "I like my coffee how I like my women" tired line is shocked it can be taken in a sexual manner?
[deleted] ยท 1662 points ยท Posted at 03:38:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes someone thinks they are pervier than they are. That guy probably thought he could fluster the service staff and have some harmless fun, he then got slightly schooled in having a dirty mind.
It's sweet in a "hes to old to know we talk about rimming each other for fun" sort of way.
edit: Things like this may not always be harmless, in the story above we cant say for sure but as /u/Alaira314 pointed out situations like this are usually more sexual harassmant than playful banter. Please be sure to protect yourselves and call people out on inappropriate behavior.
[deleted] ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
MayorBee ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 04:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really seals the deal.
Ask_Me_For_A_Song ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:50:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or unseals, if they're in to that.
JimiBrady ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:59:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The smiley face makes this sentence very sinister.
ITS-A-JACKAL ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:01:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:46:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been saying this since 2013
AZGreenTea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs 2023, we eat ass now
luckyveggie ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:02:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ASS EATING SEASON
Alaira314 ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 04:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who works in a customer-facing job, I can tell you it's emotionally wearing to have to deal with these kinds of "harmless" jokes day in and day out, constantly having to be on your guard against creepers looking to get a reaction out of shocking you. It wears on you, and makes you suspicious of even innocent interactions because what if you let down your guard and laugh at the wrong thing and he takes it as permission to jump way over the line? Then laugh and talk to you like you're a child when you blush or stammer? And it makes me angry that my male coworkers don't really have to deal with it, only the women(every couple months there's a lady who's inappropriate, but it's every day with the men).
It's not harmless fun. Call this shit out when you see it happening, because the people behind the counter often can't.
Piee314 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:24:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's weird the people joke with service folks. I always figure they have to deal with so much shit it's best to be friendly and to get the job done (not like that) as quickly as possible to make their day a little easier. Or to at least not be a problem.
PM_ME_UR_SECRETsrsly ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:50:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm always nice but I never really try to joke with them because of that. When I cashier, I hear the exact same line from customers all day, every day. And each person says it like they're so clever and the first to say it.
Errohneos ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:12:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I'm not a woman in service industry for the simple fact that there are a lot of old guys who like to creep on the staff. However, I did get a lot of secondary flirting by parents of teen girls when I worked fast food. They'd ask questions for their teen daughters when I brought food out to the table. Kinda like parental wingmen. I don't think that's normal, but I bet it's absolutely mortifying for the daughter.
Alaira314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My parents did that to me when I was a young teen, and my understanding from other girls I knew is that it wasn't uncommon. The point is to embarrass the kid, you were just caught up in it. I'm sorry it happened to you. :(
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:40:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely agree with you, and apologize for not explaining the other side of what someone could mean in that situation. While in the story I was replying to it's entirely possible that it could have been just an older guy that bit off more than he could chew, the truth is scumbags sort of take advantage of the general public giving them the benefit of the doubt or just abuse of the customer / customer service relationship. They want or hope people see them as just a silly older guy, however having female nurse friends I've heard the stories of just how much older men try to get away with.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that, it's something that as a guy I can't say I've experienced but I can imagine that it's absolutely horrible.
WAFC ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 05:27:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a male in a customer facing job, please don't stop joking with me. Makes the day more bareable.
rnykal ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 06:07:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think they were talking about just jokes in general, but weirdos walking up and telling a slew of sexually explicit jokes to try to flirt with staff
necropants ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:49:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have had two dudes walk up to me and start talking about "docking" out of the blue with a completely straight face. Shit was hilarious.
keinezwiebeln ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:12:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear being a server gave me social anxiety for exactly this reason
NotAHeroYet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Will do. Thanks.
wmurray003 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:34:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which is funny because most people are not that "homely" ...they act like they are, but they really aren't. I'm fairly conservative when in public, but that guys answer would have made me smirk and laugh... I would have probably fist bumped him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:21:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wmurray003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:47:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"proper or suited to the home or to ordinary domestic life; plain; unpretentious:"
Basically having no "edge" or "swagger".
caninehere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:34:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think if this story is any indicator, it might be more effective to out-perv them.
ZeeDrakon ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:40:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What a load of crap. Maybe don't get your panties In a twist that easily. Someone offending you doesn't make them a criminal.
(I know it wasn't you that said that, person I am replying to)
UnrealJake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:20:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You seem offended. Get over it.
ZeeDrakon ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And you think that constitutes an argument? :D
UnrealJake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:19:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't have time to type out how making somebody feel uncomfortable, and grossing them out, isn't appropriate. Especially when said person is obligated to keep talking to the offender.
Instead I tried to point out how irate and offended you seemed to get over somebody else being offended.
All the OP was trying to say (and the person you replied to) was that sexual comments out of the blue can be creepy and unwanted, and that it shouldn't happen so much.
ZeeDrakon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I suggest you read up on what "harassment" means before making any further comments. Because its a criminal offense. And youre suggesting making a comment that has the absolutely subjective and probably unintended consequence ofmaking someone uncomfortable is
a criminal offense. Please think about if you actually want it to be that way or if you just didnt properly think through what you were saying.
EDIT:
Also, in what world does disagreeing with someone mean youre offended? o.O
NosemaCeranae ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Uh. Hwat.
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 08:58:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
God your edit really ruined your comment. Are you trying to win the award for most anodyne redditor of the year or just March?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:39:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If someone is able to bring, or in this case remind me of, a situation to mind that I may not see a perspective on and my first reaction is to just dismiss it then what does that say about me? I have had friends who mention that to me and I can tell it bothers them, just as it bothers the one who replied and those who either replied to them or replied with a similar experience.
Did it take a bit of time out of my day to make the edit? I mean a bit, but I think if I get to the point that making people aware of something isn't worth the 3 seconds to edit it then I probably have my own issues or just busy/uninterested. If its something I agree in, ill mention it. If I don't agree then hell ill still talk about it because just sitting in my own "im right everyone else is wrong" pity party wont really do much for me as a person.
You mentioned it really ruined the comment for ya, and for im sorry. Not because it was ruined and I made you mad in having the edit, but more sorry that you were looking for a reason to be mad.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 09:40:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't looking for a reason to be mad, what kind of passive aggressive monster are you? I'm even now not mad but confused and befuddled.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:53:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man, that victim backpedal. I do believe you don't think you're mad, but its pretty clear you approach people looking for fights or arguments. Even just going through your comments man cause I thought maybe you were just having a bad day but dude, man you're always looking for the fight. I'm just sorry man.
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More passive aggressive bullshit: "Sorry not sorry"
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:23:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Naw, but that's the thing is that your comment shows the mentality that I am sorry you have. I was that, and I feel bad because I know how long you'll be there. You can call it passive aggressive bullshit, or whatever reasoning you need , but it won't do anything for you. You can backpedal, or even if you want man go for the thing where at the end you say "haaa bitch Ive been trolling you this whole time" thing, but you yourself can only believe it for so long.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're completely divorced from reality.
je1008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:59:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your original comment was pointless, a downvote would have been a better option
Stickman_Bob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry dude, I think he might be right. People don't care about others, they just do stuff for themselves. There is no worry to be had about it.
Tired8281 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:26:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Double double?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:27:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Toil and trouble?
Tired8281 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:36:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno about that, can't be that much work to put two sugars and two creams into a coffee.
whatwhatwutyut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:32:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fire burn and cauldron bubble?
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fillet of a fenny snake
In the cauldron boil and bake.
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adderโs fork and blindwormโs sting,
Lizardโs leg and howletโs wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
DrumBxyThing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite is the 70+ year old white woman I work with who uses that line with the answer โstrong and blackโ. Just not what youโd expect.
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"oh dear I wasn't going to say that out loud. Totally thought it though"
JTswift ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:40:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/JANcVXHqNTI
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:08:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh one time I was at a party and my friend said "What long and hard thing does a Polish woman get on her wedding night?"
And me being drunk and stoned and having read too many of the shocking jokes threads here mixed it up with "What's pink and 8 inches long and makes a woman scream?"
And I said "Stillbirth" when he was looking for "A new last name"
That was awkward.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:09:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Since you have decided to sexually harass the staff, I am declining to serve you. You have 30 seconds to leave the shop before I call the police to escort you out."
BurritoInABowl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:37:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My friend once said "I like my coffee how I like my slaves" in different parts of the country on a road trip. In alabama, the answer was "dark" and in california the answer was "Free"
Capn_Barboza ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my girls like I like my whiskey..
Aged 12 years and mixed up with coke
therunawayguy ยท 963 points ยท Posted at 02:10:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The thread is about things you shouldn't have said
captchamo ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Love it.
ayitsredit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
if I said that, I wouldn't regret it a single bit.
[deleted] ยท 762 points ยท Posted at 02:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIncapable of loving you back?โ
havanabrown ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 03:55:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hooooneeeeeyyy
orangearbuds ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:06:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ouch
raialexandre ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oof
WhyIsTheMoonThere ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:57:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Owie
KennstDuCuntsDew ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:12:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That hurt from a distance. Good job.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:43:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmao that's the best response I've heard to that.
thedarlingbuttsofmay ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 13:24:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Trixie!
meatpopsicle999 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:45:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's too real.
demeandor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:07:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am Milky, so start lapping!
BobVosh ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer.
amaezingjew ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 02:40:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 17/18, I worked at a coffee shop that was connected to the church I grew up going to. We hand tamped shots, so if you wanted your espresso stronger or weaker, we could do that.
One day, a man I'd known since I was like, 5, ordered an Americano, extra strong. He then said "I like my coffee how I like my women." Now, before I tell you my reply, I need to let you know that my parents were friend with this man, and we knew his wife.
My response was "Bitter?"
Luckily, he thought it was hilarious. The correct answer was "dark and strong."
ButPooComesFromThere ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:38:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bitter and a stupid dumb bitch?
random_german_guy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:19:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIn bed with my dad?โ
sweetrhymepurereason ยท 394 points ยท Posted at 01:45:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and French?
ScubaSwede ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 03:45:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer*
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:51:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stored in an air tight container. Oh and imported from Asia.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit this comment is metal
VikingTeddy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:46:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cheaply bought after being raised in exploitative conditions
palordrolap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you've been ground up are you still what you were? I mean, does Frenchness carry through to being a bag of mince?
H8ers_gon_H8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard "strong and black."
Jimbeamblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer
amazingmikeyc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:12:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
bitter.
Jimbo-Slice22 ยท 507 points ยท Posted at 02:15:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for Starbucks and I was at the register and the customer orders a Tall Blonde with room for cream. My coworker on bar mumbles Iโll give a tall blonde some cream. I laughed but my shift took the comment as offensive. She got the guy fired.
Ionlypost1ce ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 02:31:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean by my shift?
sikkerhet ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 02:36:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
shift lead is the lowest level of management in foodservice.
Ionlypost1ce ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:41:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha, but jimbo just said shift. Is that industry slang or a typo?
sikkerhet ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:51:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
shift lead is often shortened to just shift or just lead, also referred to as manager or keyholder or assistant manager. in foodservice those are usually all the same person, in retail it gets more complicated who is what role but I don't do retail so I couldn't explain it.
Ionlypost1ce ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:53:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lotta good intel here. Thank you.
BlooFlea ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:26:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ask good questions, get good answers
karma_trained ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:10:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here's how retail is for me
Store Manager/Stock Manager/Visual Manager
Co-Manager
Assistant Manager
Lead
Everything else.
Pako21green ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:13:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where does "Assistant to the Regional Manager" fit in?
RealisticDifficulty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really Jim? And what responsibilities does this title have, does it come with a pay increase? It sounds like a make-believe job. Do you want to keep referring to you with this made up title with no difference to work or pay? Because I can if you want me to...
ExtremelykKinky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone else commented theirs so may as well throw mine in. My store from the top to the bottom.
Store Manager (1 person)
Logistics Manager (1 person, in charge of warehouse) / Sales Manager (1 person, in charge of front end)
2 of each Sales Supervisor / Logistics Supervisor (The actual on-the-job lead, probably closest to a "Shift Lead")
2 of each Senior Associate of Sales / Senior Associate of Logistics (Just full time base associates)
Rest of the staff is either a Sales Associate (Registers, Zoning) or a Logistics Associate (Truck Receiving, Stocking)
AkiSayomi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:06:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of the restaurants I worked at had a shift leader>senior shift lead>assistant manager>General manager. Some places have long chains. But we all would respond to the same calls from customers and keep learning our higher ups job to replace them. So some places shift can refer to shift leader and senior shift. As the bottom two rings.
admiralejandro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:50:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
equivalent to the HOA compared to local, state, and federal govโt
Swashcuckler ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:24:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Power tripping asshole, got it.
cmckzee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:52:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shift supervisor. Not assman, but still responsible.
cjh93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shift supervisor. Basically you get all the shit of being a manager without the title or the pay.
Jimbo-Slice22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:42 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs the shift supervisor on duty. So pretty much the key holder of that shift if the store manager and assistant store manager are not present.
hexedjw ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:42:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's a bit of an overreaction unless maybe the customer was a tall blonde or something.
Atrand ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:12:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it's a fucking joke -_- she seriousy got offended!? holy SHIT are people fucking senstive as hell
Irish_Whiskey ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:52:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
C'mon. Whether or not that particular joke was appropriate, or part of a pattern, every functioning adult knows that "it was a joke!" doesn't mean something is appropriate. It's about as pathetic an excuse as "it was a prank bro!"
A guy whose job it was to serve families hot blonde coffees, said out loud in response to an order than he'd like to fill a hot blonde with semen. I mean if it was a first offense and not heard I might give him a warning, but otherwise, yeah, of course a store isn't keeping someone like that around. It's not sensitivity, it's about the most basic component of being able to do your job.
thetgi ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well ok Iโd get mad if someone got offended over that in a casual conversation
But we are taking about a service industry, where PR is quite literally everything. I donโt think the guy shouldโve been fired but youโve gotta be aware of your surroundings my man
Famixofpower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's work, it's not the time for jokes, especially ones for that. It's time for work.
Also, that sounded pretty rapey
Jimbo-Slice22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:02 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Like she got so offended that she got Human Resources involved before the manager. She was power hungry.
Macktologist ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man. I really hate how hostile work environment and sexual harassment has morphed into people seeming to be offended moreso because someone is โbreaking the rulesโ than because they are offended. Itโs almost more of a โwe arenโt supposed to say stuff like that and I donโt say stuff like that so I need to make sure you get in trouble for crossing an incredibly subjective line by all measures of humanism so that I donโt feel like Iโm getting cheated by following the rules strictly and absolutely.
Seriously, if we canโt joke a little bit and have a little fun by saying โIโll give a tall blond some creamโ then where does it end? I know where. When our brains are programmed to all think exactly alike and by someone elseโs code.
Irish_Whiskey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hitler. It ends with Hitler.
It definitely doesn't end with adults being held accountable for doing their jobs with professionalism, rather than being whiny entitled victims who claim their lack of adulting is a problem with society not pandering to their assholery. I mean, employers asking baristas to serve coffee rather than talk about semen is clearly the Matrix trying to make us into sheeple.
Macktologist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:14:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously. Thatโs really the point Iโm trying to make. The idealist would say the world will be a better place once all jokes are held back because every joke has a victim. That once that occurs, we will all get along and world peace will emerge. The realist would say, people are people so why should it be, you and I should get along so awfully.
Humans are awkward. But we are human. Of flesh and blood weโre made. If we are unable to live in a grey area, we imprison ourselves. Making stupid jokes with a friend at work is not equivalent to Hitler. I would argue that punishing people for making stupid jokes at work is more Hitleresque.
Iโm honestly confused at how so many people seem to support this movement. You ask someone personally and they would almost always agree weโve taken it too far. Yet we keep going that direction. How? If hardly anyone wants it, how does it continue that direction. Baffles me.
Ninja addition: I would bet my house that every single person that downvotes my above comment and every person that downvotes this one has made a comment at their work place that would fall under a punishable act under current workplace rules. And some probably do it daily. Empathy over hypocrisy.
Irish_Whiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:32:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No one has ever said that. It's just a strawman.
Not sure this makes grammatical sense, but it appears to be just a nonsense way of saying "why do people care when I'm an asshole?" To which the answer is that there's a lot of people, and no reason for us to associate with or employ those who aren't worth our time.
I was sarcastically using hyperbole knowing there are people out there who call every criticism of themselves "Hitler". You then seem to have unironically done the thing I was mocking, by calling an employer not wanting employees to reference semen in the customer's coffee "Hitleresque".
What movement? The "employers firing employees when they fuck up" movement? This isn't new.
Because you are asking a hypothetical person a vague rhetorical question. You ask an actual employer why they fired an employee, and they'll give you actual reasons. The "people will be people" rationalization makes no sense except for the person who messed up and feels entitled to others praise, attention, or their employment.
Macktologist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:00:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You see how youโre taking my opinion on something and nitpicking it into individual items so that you can then pick them apart? Calling my statements straw man or whatever other term they teach you in debate class or on YouTube to diminish another opinion. Straw man, slippery slope, etc. are used to get points across. They donโt automatically disqualify an opinion. This isnโt a contest with rules. We are just people talking about an issue and how we feel about it.
I do agree with a lot of your comment and didnโt realize your hyperbole the first time through. Just growing frustrated with how people are so judgmental and rough on each other these days. We need to chill.
Jimbo-Slice22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:18 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a store manager now and I tel all my new employees you need to have a sick sense of humor to work with me.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 05:13:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fired for that? What a horrible workplace
scyth3s ยท -24 points ยท Posted at 07:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the way feminism wants it, it's toxic masculinity at work!
Famixofpower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:15:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's work, do you want some creepy dude to joke about ass raping you at work? No! You want to get your fucking work done! You NEED to get your fucking work done, you came here to work, not play, if you came here to play and joke, they'd call it Super Happy Fun Time.
scyth3s ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 18:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So do you have anything relevant to say?
Famixofpower ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yea, you're fired.
scyth3s ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not though, because I don't work in a shithole place.
Well, I do work in a shithole place, but not because everyone plays the "I'm offended" game. I work with adults who have a sense of humor.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 08:30:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah I don't think it has anything to do with feminism, more about politically correct
Irish_Whiskey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:57:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Politically correct is what people call "being a stupid asshole" when they agree with the asshole and want to frame it as being victimized.
When a barista is asked for a coffee at a family friendly store, they should be able to refrain from saying they want to fill a woman with semen. Also if working at a donut store you should be able to refrain from making "oink oink" noises at police officers. It's your job. You are not entitled to your job, and you are not entitled to get respect after being an asshole.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:16:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The thing is that his comment targeted no one and when you say family friendly you're kinda saying "but what about the kids" while there was no mention of there being any kid around
Irish_Whiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:39:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. But your boss telling you not to makes comments about women getting filled with cum when someone orders coffee at your job at Starbucks, still is not political correctness.
They have a job. They are given money to say and do specific things. Telling them also not to talk about pro wrestling, or abstract art, is also not political correctness. Definitely telling them not to reference their semen to coworkers or customers, or in earshot of either, is not political correctness. At that point it's just an overused term to try and defend whatever a person likes or agrees with.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As much as I agree with you, I feel that it would warrant a write-up rather than straight up firing, except if it wasn't his first time
scyth3s ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 09:23:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feminism puts in a lot of work to dictate what is politically correct.
DontShakeDLightbulb ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a good point
christianhp ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 16:06:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True
Marklar_the_Darklar ยท 207 points ยท Posted at 01:53:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, the guy was wrong, you were right.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:49:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
N1ck1McSpears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dads white and my mom is black and that was always the joke, โblack and strongโ
gobells1126 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, my answer is always black and bitter.
striker1211 ยท -17 points ยท Posted at 03:30:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or racist and a fireable offense.
leedbug ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:27:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whatโs racist about liking black women?
ControlLayer ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 01:53:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too funny. You should have been proud of that and just mic dropped out.
Poseidon7296 ยท 489 points ยท Posted at 02:23:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm gay and hate coffee so my favourite is I like my coffee like I like my women... I donโt
seegabego ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 03:17:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard that as "nowhere near my crotch"
Liniis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:18:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh fuck me, that's a really good one!
Sofa6265 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:12:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Part of me now wishes that I wasn't straight just so I could say this
n_caramihai ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my coffee like I like my men... I don't
LifeIsVanilla ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:30:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my coffee like I like my father-in-law. In a nonsexual way.
soenottelling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please explain this "non-sexual" form of liking coffee to me. Asking for a friend's hard boiled dick. As a detective who works long hours, he would probably appreciate not having to scald his balls anymore, which would allow him to actually finish the case he is working on. Something something penis.
havasc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But now it just sounds vaguely homophobic, or antisocial at the least.
Super_Vegeta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just say it the other way 'round.
I like my men like I like my coffee.. I don't.
7deadlycinderella ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:24:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's a variant from Ellen DeGeneres "I like my coffee the way I like my men...I don't drink coffee"
joshuammeyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I like my coffee like I like my men...I'm more of a tea person."
caninehere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:35:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I like my coffee like I like my women... can you guess?"
serves up a tea
"oh my god i'm gay"
Ionlypost1ce ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Odd you say that...maybe it's just me, but i feel like the coffee guy from that story was a closeted gay guy.
sevendeuce ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hard black and on the table
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 02:35:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why did you choose that?
Poseidon7296 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:40:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because I donโt like coffee or women? I also work in a tearoom making tea and coffee al day so get asked what my favourite is on many occasions
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:41 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being gay. What a choice.
leedbug ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:29:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Covered in bees!
circuitously ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:38:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a plastic cup.
But yes, this one works just as well
danyxeleven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
came to say this, sad someone beat me to it
+1 anyway
catfishfighter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you like bread? I've got a french loaf!
Haze95 ยท 165 points ยท Posted at 01:48:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black, bitter, preferably fair trade would be a good answer as well
ILikePlanesAndTities ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:10:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Archerfx is leaking
Pikmin64 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:11:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Calm down, Krieger.
nedjeffery ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 02:11:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking awesome. You shouldn't regret anything.
Tweetystraw ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:16:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIโm sorry sir, we donโt have any $50 coffee here.โ
Canjap18 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:47:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Life long server here, I have a regular that comes in once a week. He tells that joke EVERY TIME he orders coffee(which is every time he comes in). Except the punch line is โstrong and black!โ
Heโs a 70 something rich white guy and never comes in with out his wife, who is also white. Iโve been working in this restaurant for 5 years and I stopped asking him how he takes his coffee after the second time I waited on him. But he insists on telling this joke regardless. He dies laughing EVERY TIME like is the first time heโs told the joke to anyone.
The look on his wifeโs gives is face melting and I just feel bad for her that she has to hear that joke at probably every restaurant they go to.
Whenever he says it, it is just as awkward as the first time he said it to me. I just move on with taking his food order with a straight face in hopes that he picks up on the fact that it was never funny to begin with. Tips are usually on point though. (She pays)
Sorry for the long read
N1ck1McSpears ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No this is funny. I like it. My moms black and my dads white and this was always my joke to them lol.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like it's a bit late to take it up now, but personally I think you should have made a point of just making increasingly more outlandish and or embarrassing guesses.
C0mpl ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:50:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Four years old and from a sack from Cuba?
Bangersss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:19:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i like my coffee how i like my women...
in the butt
BlooFlea ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/pegging
Nsfw
Sammmmmmmmmmmmmmm ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 02:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โ I like my coffee like I like my women.... no penisโ
MayorBee ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:27:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotcha. 86 the Philippine blend.
Pervy-potato ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:27:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I usually get people with the old "without a penis".
Bambamgigalow ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:39:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hot and all over my lap while i'm driving.
enough_space ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black?
7H3D3V1LH1M53LF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer.
zephon117 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:34:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"With a spoon in them!"
ktbee01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black
Whoops_nope ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:06:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Cold and bitter?"
Bicklemurgh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my coffee like I like my men. White and weak.
retired_junkiee ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black and sweet
gordonv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna love Turkish Coffee
its_willis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:35:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hot and black too.
Couldntpicagoodone13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without a penis
Rshackleford22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Could have been so many answers..
coolkid1717 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Full of liquor is another appropriate answer.
Swan543 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Uhh, yeah, don't regret that. That was the correct answer.
noodleslurper0630 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:26:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
WITHOUT ANOTHER MAN'S DICK IN IT FUCK YOU RACHEL
farva_06 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer?
kleverone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer black and strong. I'm a middle aged white dude so it comes across hilariously awkward when I'm out to dinner with the wife and kids and drop that one. Especially when I give the wink with the wrong eye.
Strawberrycocoa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Roasted, ground into powder, and submerged in boiling water?
GaslightProphet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:56:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Ground up in the freezer"
allmyblackclothes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unethically sources and trafficked internationally?
boyinblack2001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:20:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
without a penis?
Omny87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:40:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Squeezed until all the black stuff drips out the bottom
tdlg1323 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What bar sells french press coffee?
Icanhangout ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:51:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
black and LARGE is my favorite. Always gets the black ladies howling with laughter
whatstheinterwebs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
without someone else's dick in it KIM YOU WHORE
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was pretty decent, though. Solid 7/10.
Alex_Pee_Keaton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black. Just like my metal?
thegreatn4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My grandpa used to say โblack and strongโ. He was 70. Pretty progressive for his age.
bruneskles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This almost made me die. I cried from laughing instead and I woke up my boyfriend. I would say something like this. I'm not sure how my boss would respond though.
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The line works best if it's a 9 year old girl and she replies 'black. Like my men' to the boy next to her on the Airplane!.
PolloMagnifico ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bitter, filled with blackness, and capable of making my heart race.
Laserguy345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโre not wrong. Thought the same thing too before reading ahead.
littlewhitehiker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking golden
SARS11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is great ๐
CactusWorthHugging ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I relate to this way more than I should
Johnvonhein1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quiet.
cadmious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This gets funnier every time I read it.
why_jen_why ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up in the freezer?
cautiondrypaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hell man, ain't no need to feel bad, that's hilarious.
Personally, I like my coffee like I like my my women, sweet and creamy. just kidding I like my coffee black
dark_delight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think that was the best possible thing you could've said, honestly.
checko50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black and bitter?
doot_doot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to think of a simultaneously correct and fucked up answer to this question. The first one I came up with was โwithout pubes.โ
Freshman50000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely thought he was gonna say black.
SarvinaV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would of said 'black' lmao
bradh1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colombian and in a bag.
69_the_tip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Easy?
thedivorcer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ground up and in the freezer
Arklelinuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna assume black, but ok lol
PM_ME_OVERT_SIDEBOOB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black?
Popular-Uprising- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bitter and cheap?
olybib ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I usually say I like my women how I like my coffee, cold and heartless :)
BimsyClustercamp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Expensive and covered in whipped cream?
wmurray003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...I thought he was going to say Black...
ermergerdberbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go to is "hot and black".
slapdashbr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dark, bitter, preferably fair trade
CreamyGoodnss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always say "Strong, black, and in the morning"
exbex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Company I worked for got bought out. My immediate boss had a meeting at the new HQ to meet his new boss and a few other office people. They're all white. He walks into the room and they offered him a coffee. He says sure and they ask him how he likes it. He replies "black, like my woman". His new boss say, without missing a beat, nice, I bet you'd like my wife (she was black).
Lady_Penrhyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He an 'Airplance' fan?
ThatGirl_Tasha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he would say French
Frederickanne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first thoughts for possible answers were 'French' or 'black'
TexasBullets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dark and bitter.
jwillpatton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Bitter, and strong enough to kick my ass"
dickseverywhere444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like my women like I like my whisky, 5 years old and tough to hold down.
bearlegion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
black strong and bitter
OrCurrentResident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHot and wet?โ
โOld and bitter?โ
โTall and with two pumps?โ
โNutty and foaming?โ
โBlack and kind of gritty?โ
โMakes you jittery and sets off your reflux?โ
jake_naylor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA... you just made my night. Thank for this! Hahahahahaha... cheers, my man!
jhetts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without another guy's dick in it?
kaoszombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without someoneโs dick in it?
crybz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without another man's penis in it?
[deleted] ยท 163 points ยท Posted at 01:21:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told someone to "have a nice life" rather than "night."
TVLL ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:48:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In some cities or towns in California, thatโs not that unusual of a response.
BorderlineSubliminal ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:40:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Could be worse. On at least three occasions I've second-guessed myself on time til darkness and wished someone "have a good neigh" (night/day mashup)
PrinceDusk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:55:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
heh my friend once told his gf to have a nice life one time when he was going home for the week or whatever then didn't know why she wouldn't talk to him or why her dad was angry at him when he next went to see her
ntrprtr ยท 3292 points ยท Posted at 22:42:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was very pregnant (about 6.5 months pregnant with twins) working at a call center and I got a cold transfer from customer relations from a super rude customer.
I greet him nicely and he interrupts me and asks: Can you see all my information and what I need or do I need to repeat it all over again? (Starts yelling and rants for about 3 minutes) and being the sensitive ball I was I told him:
"Sir, this is the first time I've talked to you, you just got transfered and need time to read the notes but it's very unfair that you're treating me like this, I was being super polite and you're yelling at me for no reason! (Now it was my rant for about 2 minutes) I will place you on hold and I'll read the notes, ok?"
When I put him on hold I was convinced that if my superior was listening I was going to be in trouble cause in CS they want you to let people walk over you and this customer was going to complain about me, but surprisingly when I came back from hold he sounded ashamed, he apologized to me and admitted he had been a dick to me for no reason and that he wanted to start all over and the rest of the call was super smooth but I was very scared while on hold.
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 1869 points ยท Posted at 22:44:46 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best customer reaction you could have in that situation
RIPDistrict12 ยท 1115 points ยท Posted at 01:36:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. Props to that guy for seeing he was an asshole and apologizing.
BeenThruIt ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 03:38:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I seriously think I might be that guy.
axel_mcthrashin ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 05:45:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After being transferred to five different departments and telling a 3-minute story every time, we are all that guy
throwawayplsremember ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What? No, it was me, you impostor! Don't you dare to try and steal my props. It's my props and nobody else can have it.
In_between_minds ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Humans work on pattern recognition. If you let people be festering cunts with not even a snarky attitude in return for it, they never have any social reinforcement to not be a festering cunt. This doesn't just go for when someone is a customer either. If someone is being runny shit, tell them they smell, that isn't "intolerance" that's how society works and has worked for thousands and thousands of years. If you wish to and are able you can just ignore them, but do NOT oblige people acting like that (unless you have consequences over your head of course). But the same free speech that lets when say it, grants you every right to talk back.
miabelo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:23:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When my mum ran her own shop a few years back she had a really rude horrible customer who was this woman who'd come down to our tiny country town from the city for a weekend. She went off on one about how we didn't stock what she wanted and what was the point of us and then stormed off out of the shop. My mother just shrugged it off but a few hours later the woman returned all shamefaced and apologised and said she'd been having a bad day. I wish more people had the guts to do that, takes some serious courage.
LouSputhole94 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 12:26:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone has bad days and can fly off the handle. It's realizing it, apologizing for your mistake, and trying to make up for it when it happens that marks a responsible adult
DaughterEarth ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:00:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A surprising number of people have responded very well to me calmly stating they are being rude and I don't deserve that. Makes me think many rude people are lost in their own experience and not true assholes.
stuey909 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:41:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy who was rude to one of my managers. he came in the next day to apologise.
tjfraz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I have called a company to complain and I'm angry, frustrated, etc. I always preface the interaction with the CS rep with "I apologize in advance for coming off like an asshole, it's not directed at you, but I know the call is recorded and it needs to be heard." I also make sure to get the person's name and then at the end of the call - as long as they were polite - I always end with "thank you [name] you've been extremely helpful!".
I've worked in CS for a long time and don't like to shoot the messenger.
The best CS experiences I've had from the level 1-2 people were from Navient/Sallie Mae of all companies. The company is shit and their reps get screamed at all day for stuff they can't control. If you kill them with kindness and apologize in advance for being irate and acknowledging that it's more of a venting session that needs to be recorded than targeting an innocent CS rep you get want you want a lot easier. I've gotten discounts, on special non-listed programs, interest rate cuts, etc. all because I wasn't a dick to the person on the other end of the phone.
CS reps are people and they have to deal with soul-crushing calls from people who are angry, depressed, or generally being screwed over for any number of reasons.
xRadix ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, companies don't make it easy on their reps. When I call in, lots of companies will have a crappy robot, that I have to press 5 buttons just to be sent to the wrong place, give all my information, be transferred, repeat, repeat. I'm on the phone for 15 minutes before I start talking to someone who can help. I'm not mad at the rep who has no control over any of that, I'm mad at the company for having a crappy system. Unfortunately, the rep has to deal with my frustration.
Asternon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:53:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, definitely lucky that the customer was apologetic afterwards. Call centers can be absolute hell, especially because of this idea that we all have to bend to the customer's will - a lot of them learn that they will eventually get their way if they are rude and demanding enough.
I had one customer while I was still in training, I had only that day or the day before started taking calls alone, but I was still in the training process. I was in customer retention, and pretty much the highest level of customer service available (barring management and actual corporate retention, who don't take calls like we do). Right towards the end of my shift, I got a customer who has been with us for something like 15 or 20 years and was pissed that the new customer deals were better than what he was getting (which is a call I got a lot). Note that I dealt with household services, so home phone, TV and internet.
Being the level I was, I had access to a lot of discounts and credits to help keep people from disconnecting, so I started checking his services and reading his notes, and knew I was in for a horrible time when every single one of the notes on his file had some variation of "cx is very hostile and rude."
I knew it was going to be even worse when I went through his services and found out he was getting incredible promotions already - any given service could only have ONE promotion at any given time, and all of the ones I had would last 10 months at most, whereas he had on-going promotions (as in, they would go on forever unless removed or the service was cancelled)
When I calculated everything, I found out that he was actually getting a much better deal than new customers were. He was getting much better services, faster internet, all that for either the same price, or in some cases a lower price, with the added benefit of ALL of his services having on-going promotions, whereas all new customer promos had a limit of 12 to 24 months.
When I showed him that math, I was very quickly met with "well, I've been with you for x years, I'm a loyal customer, I deserve more!" and would not let it go. He said "the customer is always right" pretty much ever sentence, and refused to take no for an answer. Finally I was reaching about 30 minutes of this back and forth and it was time to escalate it to either our support desk or, worst case, management. He agreed to that, so I said they'd call back in 2-4 hours at most, and we were back to disagreeing, because he refused to hang up. He wanted to be put on hold until someone else would speak to him.
Even worse was the fact that our average hold time was one of our serious KPIs, so I had to take him off hold to assure him someone would be coming soon to keep my metrics in order, which meant he was getting angrier and angrier every time the hold ended and it was still me.
I ended up being over an hour late getting off my shift, had to have someone take over the call from my computer/phone, which meant I couldn't take any other customers, and he absolutely tanked my AHT.
I get that we need to treat customers with respect, and I agree that we should value our customers, but this whole "the customer is always right" and expectation of deferring to customers is, in my opinion, unhealthy and damaging. There are some cases when we really can't do more and the customer has to accept that. If they want the services they have, they HAVE to pay for them, and bitching and moaning should not fucking change that.
Ambitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's kind of disheartening to know that this guy got really good deals every step of the way. It's just straight up evidence in favor of getting better results for being a dick...
DongLaiCha ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair it's really fucking annoying when you go through a computerised phone system, put in a thousand numbers and pass-codes, and then every rep you speaks to asks for the same fucking info. WHY did I have to put all that shit in to begin with if NOBODY USES IT?
lacquerqueen ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:39:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We dont get the info, at least at my place. The phone rings and i answer, thatโs it... even worse is when a colleague just passes a call on without giving you any info.
darkforcedisco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The worst is that they start from the 1st step over again.
"Have you tried restarting it?"
Do you really think the other four members of your company are so incompetent that not one of them suggested that? That says a lot.
Nosiege ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I'm getting angry because I'm 4 people deep and no better off to having my issue resolved, I request to be transferred to complaints or someone I can speak strongly to.
earlofhoundstooth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like me on the other end. I am a great guy who has too much passion and gets overwhelmed and angry if I can't seem to solve a problem. I tell people I am a recovering asshole.
BlindWitnessInside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you work for an Apple call center by chance lol
vape4doc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry. That was me.
ntrprtr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I forgive you.
cerealkiller30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being very pregnant is so funny to me
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:15:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She was pregnant with like 40 babies
ashbitebonehart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:34:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or for 11 months
Dim_Innuendo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you're at U.S. Bank, that was me. Sorry about that, it's just that I had been hung up on twice before this call, and transferred multiple times, to people who had literally no idea how to help me. I didn't start off a total asshat, but 90 minutes of being bounced around customer service hell made me pretty irate. You didn't do anything to spark my my ire, just the frustrating situation had sanded all my politeness away, and you handled it well to calm me down.
If that wasn't you, then that means THIS KIND OF SHIT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME AND WHY DO WE CUSTOMERS PUT UP WITH IT AND ALSO YOU HAVE THE WORST FUCKING HOLD MUSIC IN THE WORLD AND I HAVE HAD TO LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT ALL MORNING AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
...
Sorry, you didn't deserve that. I'll be calm.
ntrprtr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha no. Priceline sales, not even customer service.
ChineseJoe90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:41:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think you handled that quite well actually. Plus, the guy apologized so that's nice.
slanid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You essentially put him in time out to think about his actions. I love it.
AF_Fresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at a call center, I did this sort of thing all the time. Most clients would fix their attitudes quickly, and apologize. Of course, this was a military member focused bank, so a lot of them appreciated when someone seemed competent, and stood up for themselves. Every now and then someone would get even more angry, and I would offer to get them to our Executive resolution team, but that was rare.
purpleperil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked for a computer/phone manufacturer I got switched from phone tech support to computer.
Week two or three a dude calls with a problem I have never encountered anything remotely like. None of the leads, or other agents either.
I do my talk back of the problem while searching our internal help guides, no luck. I suggest a senior advisor, as they had the ability to reach back out to the customer and work longer on an issue.
He flips the fuck out on me calling me stupid, rants for a good 3-5 minutes. I use the time to make apologies and google the fuck out of it. When he's winding down I had found a longshot possible solution. I explain this, we try, it works.
As we are going through the closing spiel, and I'm typing up notes half paying attention he asks me if the reason I wanted to hand him off was because he was a douche. My "I probably shouldn't have said that"... "No not entirely" He laughed his ass off. I got a good survey from him.
My other one was one of our many conspiracy theory everyone is hacking me callers. She asked me about interstate telecommunication laws. I probably shouldn't have said "Ma'am my job training is in computer and tech repair, and my degree is in folklore, specifically appalachia, I am not nearly qualified to discuss the laws of telephone lines" Oddly again she took this very well and said she'd contact the state Attorney General.
OfficialDatGuyisCool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Skyler?
freyjuve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to do this. I called it a penalty hold. The length of time for which I would place the offending grump on hold depended entirely upon how unnecessary hostile they were being. They almost always came back more calm and pleasant.
SeraphStray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:56:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is so rare. I think Ive had that once in 3 years.
TheMarshma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the thread, but when I was in high school I worked at a pizza hut call center. This guy calls and orders a Big New Yorker, this 10 dollar extra large pizza that I dont think they sell anymore, but anyway I ask him "and what kind of topping would you like" and he yells. "WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PEPPERONI!" like it was the only possible choice, and even asking showed how stupid I was. And I just go "ok geeeez.... theres other toppings you know..." and then he started apologizing and saying hes had a rough week etc.
gumgum ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And what you don't know is that he had already been passed from person to person, none of whom listened, read the notes, or helped so his comment was not unjustified (been there done that).
And he sure as fuck couldn't see that you were pregnant through the phone - so how is that relevant? Except to get you sympathy points which is unfair.
Dealt with too many call center morons to be sympathetic.
ntrprtr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The pregnant part was meant to explain why I said that to him and that's exactly why it's in the "I shouldnt have said that" section. His attitude wasnt unjustified and he was right to be mad cause the agent that booked his package originally booked the wrong flight but I was very sensitive and snapped, but fortunately he was great and had a positive reaction to that.
UnoKajillion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The pregnancy part was to explain that she is very emotional. Not for sympathy points. And nobody should be treated badly just because they work for a company with a bad system
gumgum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread is about people expecting sympathy for being dicks. I am remarkably unsympathetic to people who work in call centers because they are remarkably unhelpful 9 times out of 10. Doesn't matter what your problem is, they have a script, don't listen, won't help. EVER. Then they bitch because you start getting a bit upset at the fact they won't listen, won't help and won't pass the call to someone who might.
KnowOneHere ยท 4035 points ยท Posted at 21:16:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sold housewares at Macys. When you purchased something I'd be like "Now go and bake a cake!" when they bought a mixer or "Bet you cant wait to get those wrinkles out!" when their purchase was an iron.
One night a middle age to older man bought a meat pounder. I rung him up and said "Now go home and beat your meat!"
Oops.
Insecurity-Guard ยท 1684 points ยท Posted at 01:50:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What I do with my mixer in the privacy of my own home is none of your business, thank you very much.
The__Winner ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:13:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am I going to eat all of this chocolate fudge mix directly from the packet? That's my concern and only mine, thank you very much.
CappuccinoBoy ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:05:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Thank you for calling Macy's customer service. My name is Jen, how can I help you? "
"Hi Jen. I recently bought this, um, mixer and have a slight problem with it."
"Alight, I'll be happy to help. What seems to be the problem?"
"Well, I, um, was mixing something... on the ground... and, um, I fell and somehow my penis got, um, caught in the paddles..."
"U fokin wut mate?"
Amazing_Archigram ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nosey Bitch....
PurpleSailor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's all fine until you turn the mixer on
BaronVonBooplesnoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm gonna build a WEIRD fucking machine...
PM_ME_UR_XYLOPHONES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Directions unclear:
metyuadem ยท 502 points ยท Posted at 21:36:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meat tenderizer.... but let's be honest, he did what you said anyway.
littledragon306 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Give it a good rub yeaaaaa
smitywrbnjAgrmanjnsn ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:51:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeeeah boi
give your meat a good ol' rub
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:45:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
s p i c y m e a t
Sipredion ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:38:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And if we're being really honest, he thought about that moment when he started
metyuadem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eew
from_dust ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
and lets be honest "go tenderize your meat!" doesnt sound any better.
Addyzoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://clips.twitch.tv/SillyCulturedHabaneroKlappa
[deleted] ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 03:10:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never know what to say to cashiers who say stuff like that as I'm checking out, so I just kind of laugh awkwardly.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 09:47:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly that's the worst to be told. I guess the point is to not have to reply, but what do you say? "HAHA THANKS I WILL BAKE MY CAKE AND ENJOY IT THANKS SALES PERSON"
Janigiraffey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 13:42:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, sometimes Iโll get comments like that on my groceries. I was buying my weekly groceries and the cashier asked with wonder what I was making tonight. It was like โumm, well this is going into a weekโs worth of meals...โ
I donโt mind having a microconversation along those lines, but it does feel a little invasive.
On the other hand, I did ask another customer to explain himself when he was buying egregious amounts of butter and powdered sugar at midnight. Turned out his wife was having trouble making a birthday cake for the kid, and he didnโt want to have to come out again at 2 am if she screwed up the second batch of frosting.
inclinedtothelie ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:46:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16 or 17 and my dad was tenderizing something in the kitchen.
Me: Why do you beat your meat, Dad?
He starts explaining how in breaks down the connective tissue, but I keep coming up with more questions.
Things like: It makes your meat taste better? How did you learn to beat your meat? What meats should you beat?
See, I hadn't seen anyone ever use a meat hammer before, and I hadn't heard they phrase "beat your meat" in that context yet.
Finally he starts cracking up laughing, just dying.
He had to tell me, at that age, what that particular idiom meant.
redrew89 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:30:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have lost it at the initial question.
"Why do you beat your meat?"
Bbdep ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:43:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You made me cry of laughter, thank you!
avsfan1933 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:07:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell Stihl products and always tell customers happy cutting or happy trimming, after selling chainsaws or weed eaters. Sold a leaf blower to a 25-30 year old blonde bombshell. Said happy blowing as I finished the sale
marsasagirl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:06:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy. I had a moment like this once. There was a wine bag on the register in front of me and I couldnโt get around to grab it so I asked the customer if she could hand it to me so I could bag her wine. Instead I asked her to jack it off for me. I was completely straight faced when I said it and didnโt realize what came out of my mouth until she started laughing really hard.
Thizzologist ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man, those are awful.
KipzOfTheMud ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:08:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you said the wrinkles thing to an old person and had a vivid mental image of someone ironing their own face yikes
hubberbubber ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminded me of when I was checking out a couple and the husband was on the fence about buying a bottle of Knob Creek bourbon. To which the wife replied: โitโs ok you can go grab your knob.โ Followed by an awkward pause and a laugh.
GoferAdmin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:57:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working on your tight five?
Mumster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:28:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just woke my husband up laughing at this one.
LetTheRainsComeDown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:04:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In all seriousness, I hate it when cashiers comment on my purchases. It's none of your business what I'm buying.
cautiondrypaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the time the innocent young gal the the grocery store asked me if I wanted my meat wrapped in plastic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you feel any better he may not know that particular phrase at his age
rnykal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
give your meat a good ol' rub
Addyzoth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://clips.twitch.tv/SillyCulturedHabaneroKlappa
zdakat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of when computers try to "helpfully" generate content, and end up composing something offensive.
melissapete24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I literally LOLed at this. I'm dying laughing at my desk at work. Thank you, sir or madam!
pongky77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:14 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh thanks for the laugh, hilarous
LemonJongie23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/thathappened
Interversity ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/nothingeverhappens
LemonJongie23 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:05:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/thisdidnthappentho
bommerangstick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Half of this thread. I've been suspending disbelief though.
SneakTheifMage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No you didn't
ooo-ooo-oooyea ยท 3537 points ยท Posted at 23:20:49 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a client site, and just pissed at them. The problem was that my company fucked up, our inspector was an idiot who did nothing, and I was set up to fail. So I am in a meeting and they're demanding all this free stuff, and I blurt out:
"We're a Business NOT a charity"
They loved it, and the head texan was all like "Hey Big Boy, You've Grown Some Big Balls!"
Weird thing is they really helped me find a new job!
tallish_jew ยท 2025 points ยท Posted at 03:59:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Head Texan, he is in charge of all the lesser Texans.
complimentarianist ยท 785 points ยท Posted at 04:14:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to speak to your Head Texan, please.
GunNNife ยท 1023 points ยท Posted at 04:46:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He's stealing my lawn ornaments right now.
PopsicleIncorporated ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 04:51:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I assure you, he's not. He's standing a few feet from me.
Kitty-Butt ยท 198 points ยท Posted at 04:57:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well then young man, maybe you should let me speak to him.
moronicuniform ยท 118 points ยท Posted at 05:01:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit
TheDrCrotch ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 06:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Meta
SchitLipz ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 06:24:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was a satisfying read.
corbyj1 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:33:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I miss all the fun
LetterSwapper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:50:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I miss the rains down in Africa
chronocases ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:37:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off ๐
sonrad10 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:02:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We did it Reddit!
bessibabe4 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 07:43:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was there
sonrad10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes you were.
HolyNipplesOfChrist ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:45:49 on April 4, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
RobSPetri ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:32:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, some clients are just crazy.
Vader3654 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:14:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yessss I'm not the only one reading this entire thread (while i'm at work in customer service)
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:51:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nomoredarkness ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:18:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can see it from my porch.
BootyGangPastor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
in fact i live in it
CephalopodOverlord ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:44:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
AdjectiveNounCombo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:01:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No it's:
M E T A
E
T
A
GreatArkleseizure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E T A M
T A M E
A M E T
MisterMcGiggles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Most underrated comment of the entire thread.
Swashcuckler ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:28:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, how has nobody started calling them lawnaments?
Shattered620 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:17:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
META
jesonnier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2meta4meIRL4me.
YourLocalMonarchist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:45:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
E T A M
T A M E
A M E T
AdamFuckingHenrique ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:02:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds sexual lol
HorribleUsername69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:25:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to speak to your Head, Texan, please.
Not_Joshy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Big Tex - he's usually available all month during the State Fair.
Hudsons_Heroes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:32:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
George W?
G_CAST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me too thanks
briantelope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
META
SodlidDesu ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:29:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are no lesser Texans, just smaller hats. Calling them lesser Texans is fightin' words.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:25:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Texan Prime
His-wifes-throwaway ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:38:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are no lesser Texans.
All Texans are head Texans, but some are more head.
BaconLov3r98 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:10:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
from Texas can confirm this is true. The head Texan sits on the throne of many guns and commands his subjects with a southern fist.
natural_distortion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He wears a 150 gallon hat.
satiredun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He ate them.
Vurtigone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He has the biggest hat and the loudest gun.
christorino ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thus the term "big Tex"
essuomelpmap27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is especially funny if you know that one of the owners of a major texas company is the Butt family.
ChrisHutch90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no such thing as a lesser Texan
ToeChan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:12:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doug Dimmadome?
0RGASMIK ยท 108 points ยท Posted at 04:23:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Texans are weird, they like people who stick up for themselves even if itโs a threat. They can be really confrontational but if you fight back it doesnโt escalate the argument just kind of levels it. Not all of them are like that so itโs a fine line to walk. My boss goes all in and says shit like if you donโt like it you can get the fuck out or if you fuck around we shoot first.
If a customer gets mad at me I either act apologetic or say well thats too bad. The latter works better most of the time. We are a CA based company who deal with mostly Texan customers. Most of the confrontations are to see if youโre a pushover. Once they see you arenโt youโve passed the test and can converse like a normal person.
essenoh2you ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:40:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds incredibly obnoxious.
blackwolfdown ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 06:39:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Weak personalities got me a 10k offer on a 30k car from a dealer. It's amazing what a pissed off Texan can talk himself into.
I didn't take the offer because I hated the car to begin with, I was just tickled that I was able to talk him so low before walking out.
IwillBeDamned ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i bet there's more to it than that.. hint hint
blackwolfdown ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:52:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah, im sure that car was trash.
azaza34 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:52:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you not find it evil to do this?
Not_really_Spartacus ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:05:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To haggle? For a car? I'm not sure what you're getting at. Isn't that par for the course?
azaza34 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:50:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is true and I'm just high.
0RGASMIK ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:48:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very. With most of the guys I deal with I just ignore their attitude itโs pretty satisfying to watch them struggle to come around to a reasonable level. Usually they go from an angry little child to taken aback, then apologetic. Others you actually need to โfight backโ those ones you remember and start shutting them down right away otherwise they think theyโve won.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:48:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
0RGASMIK ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:30:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup my boss is an elderly woman not named Dixie but sounds similar. My boss has anger issues though so she usually just goes at your throat with no end in site. She pulls this banter with customers and vendors for fun but sometimes she takes it too far with them too.
Ultimateace43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:44:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
its like Texans are an exotic species of some sort of animal XD
Tparkert14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're like Rhinos, if you just stand your ground you're less likely to die.
Ultimateace43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Really its because texans have the mindset of "you've gotta earn my respect" and implement opportunities quickly for you to earn it if its gonna be earned at all.
Not a Texan, im from Louisiana. I grew up about 15 minutes from the texas border though.
anarchyisutopia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:00 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"As long as I shoot last, I don't give a fuck."
yourbestgame ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:59:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know what video that's from!
seathefire ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:05:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Only a non-Texan would say such a thing
TenorTwenty ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:18:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a job description? Every company should have a Head Texan!
Fuzzyninjaful ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:42:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
CTO (Chief Texan Officer)
Wyle_E_Coyote73 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:14:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Having lived in Texas for 14 years I can totally believe this story.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:27:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
16 of 18 here, absolutely true
Project2r ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:51:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
did they help you find a new job by getting you fired from your previous one?
blackwolfdown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something tells me that was a convenient turn of events.
ooo-ooo-oooyea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:35:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
pretty much
grizzbeast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:52:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I read head Texan all I can think of is this guy.
rnykal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The company you worked for or the client?
Be-booboo-bop ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like when George gets dinner with the Houston Astros front office guys!
Ya son of a bitch!
notalittlekidlover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโve got some beach ball sized nuts and I want to harness the gear coming off of them
Amazing_Archigram ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Helped you find a new job as in helped you by getting you fired?
Art_Vandelay_7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:36:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They should have replied with something like "You call that shitshow of yours a business?"
nomnomnomnomRABIES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your capitalisation is v kenM
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 1809 points ยท Posted at 23:16:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have 2. Once I was a cashier at a supermarket and the customer was involved with a church and asked "do you have any kind of preacher discount?" and I said "Nah, we're all pretty godless here at Super 1 (the name of the grocery store)." his wife thought it was pretty funny but he didn't.
Second one was at a large retail store. We sold fish there in the pet department. One of the tanks was empty and a customer wanted whichever fish was supposed to go in there. She said "you're out of those? You don't have any in the back?" and I said "we used to keep them in the backroom but they surprisingly died within minutes". She didn't think it was funny. But for real, what a stupid question. A lot of customers have zero idea of what "the back" actually is.
VicFatale ยท 1337 points ยท Posted at 00:42:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the magical Backroom. Where the ocean, lakes, and river all meet to have every type of fish they may need.
It's a couple of cardboard boxes, not fucking Narnia.
[deleted] ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 01:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:59:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've only ever heard it at gamestop as they may not have restocked whatever game or had extra used copies in the backroom, and they were the ones that offered; I never requested it. Super cool when they have it, but it's not a big deal if they don't ya know.
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:20 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, my experience was from a grocery store so it's somewhat different but our "back room" was a couple of little stock rooms full of stuff for restocking shelves. In a retail store I could see them having something similar with maybe a few items available to keep shelves stocked. But yeah, with somewhere with fish, they would obviously keep their entire stock in the related aquariums since it would be silly to have multiple aquariums for the same fish.
chinchillazilla54 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:55:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to explain this to my mom once when we were at Ulta and they were out of the shade she wanted, but she disregarded me and asked anyway. Then damned if they didn't bring it right out to her and make me look stupid.
AntiGravityBacon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:22:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of companies have more in the back, just limited display space so it can be useful to ask.
Seiglerfone ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, I'm looking for Aslan. Can you check in the back?"
quiksilver1014 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:32:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see you know about "All Blue"
bommerangstick ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:01:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Zeff is such an ass. He didn't tell Sanji that All Blue was actually just out the back.
BeastingBoli ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was looking for this. Not dissapoint
DckDck ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:35:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The All Blue...
allmyblackclothes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:21:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm stealing this Narnia reference whenever a customer expects something to exist in the back.
221433571412 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 03:24:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail and a customer came in very late and asked if I had any of a particular product (out of stock in the front) out the back. I went out the back and found the product. It happens. Or maybe I just don't live in America where seemingly both servers and customers are retarded and basically in a war with each other.
TheDreamingMyriad ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a large retail store and would always "check the back" when someone asked me to; which involved going to the back and sitting there for 5ish minutes. It's not that I wouldn't have be able to find what they wanted in some cases, but it was a matter of time, the duties I needed to complete without getting in trouble with management, and the fact that the back was like a small warehouse. I was in shoes and they were often several shelves in on the 2nd and 3rd row....I would've needed to get a forklift operator to get down a wrapped pallet which would then need to be cut open for 1 item, then rewrapped and placed back on the shelf. The time and money it takes for a large store to get out 1 item is much more of a hassle than just telling the customer to check back the next day or whatever.
For a smaller store though, yeah, I don't see a problem with checking the back for an item.
Kh2008 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a smaller retail store as the stock manager and spent most of my time restocking/keeping track of everything, so I definitely knew whether or not we had it. But if I got asked to check the back, it was easier just to go stand in the stock room for thirty seconds then argue with the customer.
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am laughing so hard it hurts.
Nyx404 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:36:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact, we call our backroom Narnia at the Petvalu I work at, because you have to go through a closet to get to it
kixstix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed so hard at this. Narnia! That's exactly what they think it is.
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a World Market a few years ago and our back room was TINY and reserved for extra couches and wine, everything else was top stocked.
Every single day people would ask if we had more of something, and if it wasnโt in top stock theyโd ask if it was in the back.
โNo maโam, if itโs not in top stock, we donโt have it.โ
โYou didnโt even look.โ
:|
VerifiedMadgod ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:43:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair if you work at a convenience store the back is pretty much exactly what the customer would expect. Or at least the one i worked at was. The only exception was anything that was required to be refrigerated. Only thing stacked in the back of the refrigerator were milk crates and certain energy drinks.
Edsman1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:39:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ah except not always, at my last retail gig it was a literal warehouse underneath the store. Like actually larger than a two story suburban home packed full of boxes and shelves. Anytime people would be pissed I took too long to check stuff out Iโd be annoyed since Iโd just run up and down 3 flights of stairs and across a warehouse to try and help them.
Spire2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've always wondered what sprung customers into asking that. I've never asked nor ever thought about asking to check the vast room that is known as "the back".
suicidalpenguin99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been in the back room of a target. It was in fact Narnia. I've never seen anything like it
BoltmanLocke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My shop has stock guys and shop floor guys with radios through to the back. So yeah, if we don't have your size, I will ask stockroom to take a look. But I work at an incredibly busy, small store, so I imagine it's different for others. We restock floor every 3 hours or so, and there's usually only one of each size out, so yeah you want a medium? Oh I'm afraid that man is trying on the one we had out. So instead of asking me if we have any more, you're going to stalk that customer till they buy it... Or I could just get you another.
Xnics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once at a Best Buy and asked a guy if they had a certain keyboard I was looking for, he said โwait here, Iโll go check to see if we have any in the backโ I wait there for 30 minutes, eventually I see him come out of the door he went in, empty handed, he makes eye contact with me for a second, and then walks in the other direction and starts talking to another customer
kh9hexagon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:15:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Best Buy and telling people that we were out of something was never good enough They'd want you to check "in the back" (despite the inventory system on the computer that tells you when things are not in stock). So on many occasions, I'd simply walk to the back, chat with the warehouse guys for a minute or three, and then come back empty handed. I already knew we didn't have any but the customer believes there's always more stock in Narnia.
But that guy was a dick.
Xnics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I looked at all the shelves, asked him if they had it, he double checked the shelves, then volunteered to check the back lol
JonIsBored28 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:28:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow TIL
delmar42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:03:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
These days, I just ask if all their stock is out on the floor (and I don't ask this about living things, such as in a pet store).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:58:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Are you sure you don't have any Aslan's? Can you check the back?"
Fredissimo666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked for staples, people would always asked for whatever computer was discounted this week, and therefore out of stock since the first day of the promotion. I would pretend to go check the backstore because they wouldn't believe me otherwise.
sweet_0live ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I usually take that as an oppurtunity for a break, "I'll go check for you" proceed to check phone, eat part of my snack, sit down, then come back like "nope all out"
gd_akula ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 03:57:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow that's pretentious.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I'm pretty sure he just wanted to brag about being holier than me
OmniscientOCE ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:54:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
His contribution to society is probably massively inflated in his head
Cousieknow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Figuring Super 1 is predominantly in East Texas, I can see that
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was actually in extreme northeastern Minnesota
Cousieknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:17:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hell
dcb720 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:19:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely.
In theory, preachers should preach because they deeply want to help others.
In practice, many of them are out to help themselves. It's not new - the Bible specifically warns about people like that.
I'm guessing the people who don't read their Bibles but rely on the preacher for everything don't hear much about those parts.
Strange, that.
DabLord5425 ยท 138 points ยท Posted at 00:52:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They also think that we purposely leave empty spaces on the shelf so we can have the joy of running to the "back" to check.
OzMazza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:32:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, I worked at a big box place and there was shit tons in the back. Like a whole 2nd more cramped store basically. But it was quite disorganized and could often be 30 minutes or more of searching if we had a low amount of something.
Thizzologist ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 05:19:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've worked retail for years. Have you never ran out of something on the shelf but have it in the back? Pretty common, not sure how you're getting smug about it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:51:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But come on, live fish?
strawberry36 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:06:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked retail, I'd have customers ask me to check the back. Sometimes we'd have what they needed, other times no. If not, I'd just stay in the back for a few minutes, texting people or browsing facebook.
georgetds ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 03:15:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should keep a box of goldfish crackers in the back just so you can bring it out for these situations and tell the customer that the fish still need to be rehydrated yet while scanning the box as if for instructions.
Bezere ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:20:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"No discounts? It's for a church hun, I need 20. NEXT!!"
DBerwick ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:23:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"We could give you a bulk discount for 20."
"Yeah nope costs money!! NEXT!!"
pingasthrowaway ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asking for a preacher discount? That seems super shitty to me. If their organization was somehow involved with a company and wanted to get a discount for a bulk purchase or something, that's one thing, but to say "hey I'm a preacher you gonna treat me special?" that's bullshit.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:30:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh he was for sure just bragging about his status. He kept bringing it up during the interaction and when he asked for the discount I was tired of his shit. I'm not religious but the irony is he was doing precisely what Jesus of his religion warned about in terms of the Pharisees reciting long prayers on the streetcorner in order to be seen, those that have already received their reward in full. In short, he was being an entitled shitburger.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:02:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had to retrieve three pieces of merchandise from the back for three different customers today: probably a record for me. I was getting mad that I had to go back there so much. Why wasn't this stuff on the shelves?!?
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:14:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Generally because companies choose to save money by being outrageously understaffed. A lot of the reason prices are so at Walmart is because there are much fewer employees than one would expect
batsofburden ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:58:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of cheap ass shit is this.
Ala_Alba ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:05:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the supermarket today. The salsa I wanted to buy appeared to be sold out.
But, lo and behold, there was in fact some in the back.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It happens sometimes. But when customers are flabbergasted that we don't have the most in-demand item of the holiday season in bulk amounts in the back on December 22nd or ask how we can run out of an item that is on sale (because it's on sale, you aren't the only person who wants to take advantage of a sale) it just blows my mind
stardebris ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, I am not a religious person. I did work in retail and I had people ask for discounts for all sorts of reasons. We sold school supplies and we were a block away from a university, but we didn't do student discounts. If you have tax exempt status, fill out a form, we fax it, and we you get you go into the system, now you're tax exempt. We give vets a 10% discount during the week of Veteran's day. We're a corporation, we have prices, we have policies, we're stingy. The church people would always get to me for a few reasons, though.
First, you don't have to pay taxes on all your income. My employer and I pay taxes for a bunch of stuff that you benefit from. People give you money and you read a book to them. Use that. You make so many pamphlets! Get a projector or something! Not everyone needs to have the program for every service!
All that being said, I hated my corporation. I worked in the copy center. I knew every pricing trick and every inconsistency in pricing policy. A lot of people came through for funerals. It was in a town with a lot of activists and some really crucial privately provided services. Asking me for a discount was usually a bad idea because if you were semi-decent, I was already giving you a lower price than a competent manager would allow me to give (I was safe because such an individual did not exist).
Buixer ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:44:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me when I was at a PetSmart bathroom taking a leak and this male employee comes in and also relieves himself. We kinda walk out at the same time and I see him approach a customer and say, "Sorry, I checked and we don't have anymore of those in the back."
Made me chuckle.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:55:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depending on if a customer is shitty to me or not my trips to The Back may or may not be customer-initiated shit breaks where I will come back empty-handed and with my best fake customer service apologetic face
Butchfaerie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:32:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The preacher discount gets me. That's some blatant unchristian charity extortion going on...
The740 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Story be damned, how and why did you come up with that user name?
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:18:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly it's just a hobby of mine. Definitely not a fetish or anything weird like that.
Actually it just came about one day when myself and coworkers were insulting one another playfully and I told one of them that I hoped they ended up with a woodtick nest in their peehole the next time they went camping. Auto shops are strange
ratratratcatratrat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank god you asked, I was too afraid
shikitohno ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:10:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working a retail fish department, someone asked if we were really all sold out of cocktail shrimp, or if we had some in the back "because it's New Years Eve, you should really have some."
I was in a grumpy mood from being there all day and said "Sure, let me grab it from the bin I back that I keep just for people who ask."
She got all excited and said "Really?"
"No."
My manager found it far less amusing then I did, but I got let off with a "don't do that again."
aescula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:35:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So so so many times I want to just show customers the stockroom, and go "See? No magic backstock of exactly the thing you need. No backstock at all. For the thousandth time, everything we have is on the sales floor."
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All that would do is make them huffily tell you that you need to order more. And not set the prices so high and to stop moving things around so they can't find them. Because they think the part time employee making slightly above minimum wage is responsible for all that
aescula ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:53:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great, then I'd have the fun of telling them that Ross doesn't really order stuff. We get random boxes of stuff, with no way to predict or control what we actually get.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:57:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well then I want to talk to your manager! The store manager! The CEO of the corporation! This is an outrage and you have ruined my day and my marriage! I will be taking my 3 dollar purchase elsewhere!
aescula ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"By all means you're free to contact corporate. The number is on the back of the reciept. Have a nice day!" :)
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:19:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Almost word-for-word what I say to customers when they threaten to run and tell mom and dad
aescula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess no matter what store, retail is retail.
Kigarta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/11/27/retales-part-two
marsasagirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer come in freaking out because we didnโt have butter pecan ice cream. We were insanely busy and I called our grocery manager to see if we had any. Our store isnโt huge and itโs prettt easy to keep track of whatโs in backstock or not. I had also been back to the dairy freezer today and knew we didnโt have ice cream back there but I still checked to make sure. The guy comes back up to the desk and i tell him we donโt have any of the product back there but should be expecting a shipment on blah blah date. He just completely loses his shit, โoh ok he didnโt even look. You gonโ tell me he just magically knows whatโs back there?โ I was insanely stressed and tired so I retorted, โwell yes he does. Heโs the grocery manager and handles all product that comes in. He does in fact know whatโs back thereโ and the customer started shaking his head and losing his shit and saying how he used to work for our company and how heโs going to write a letter to corporate. I call my manager up to deal with him at this point and then he flips some switch and starts being nice to me and chatting me up before saying oh and if you donโt want to deal with mean customers you shouldnโt work in customer service. The guy was just so hot and cold the entire time he was there I didnโt know how to react.
MrPureinstinct ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:34:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but what the hell is a preacher discount? Is that something you really expect to get a discount for?
LemonJongie23 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically the back probably does have what their entitled boomer ass is rudely demanding for, but there is hundreds of boxes of shit everywhere and I'm gonna go there, fuck around on reddit for a few minutes, then come back out and say "nope sorry no more"
Alanneru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, every time I get fish from petsmart (I have an outdoor pond), they get them from the back. I have to ask if I like one of the fish in the show tank.
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At a pet store I guess I could see that. But at a huge store like a Super Walmart the vendors bring the fish directly to the tanks
MonkeyDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are awesome.
Although I can see why you keep changing jobs.
bonerjamz12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
arent they called rabbis?
woodticks-in-urethra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shots fired
angry_snek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:30:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I cannot express just how right you are, so many customers come in with the question if we still have this or that product, I call in to my manager and he tells me we're all out of it for the day, customer demands that I go back there anyway "because you never know" products don't grow on trees back there folks.
ClashQuester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people ask, I just walk to the back, get a good walking exercise for 15 seconds and then come back out and say we don't have it
In all fairness, how do you expect me to look through 1000+ boxes in a minute to find the exact thing you need?
Legendaryshitlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs a 10% surcharge for clergy, my apologies.
FaxCelestis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:48 on April 13, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your username is horrifying
upandcomingvillain ยท 769 points ยท Posted at 02:05:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I said, but when I worked at a restaurant a customer wanted the football game turned on, and the bartender couldnโt get the remote to work so I went out to help her. I couldnโt find the game he wanted so he said โshouldnโt you be back in the kitchen cooking or something?โ I didnโt see any reason for him to say that, so I turned on Cartoon Network and took the remote with me back to the kitchen, and didnโt give it back. I shouldnโt have done that, but Iโm still glad I did.
kittenplusplus ยท 293 points ยท Posted at 04:44:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I disagree, you totally should have done that
bryjan1 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:59:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasnโt there but maybe there was a chance he felt like he was wasting there time?
drderwaffle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:56:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Excuse me, but this is Reddit. Please stop being reasonable and assuming the best in people.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 17:32:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
smallville007 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:26:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty sure /u/bryjan1 was saying the guy wanting to watch football may have felt he was wasting the staffs time.
bryjan1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Correct.
upandcomingvillain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Got it. Judging by his tone though I donโt think that was the case. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
bryjan1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs aight
senorgharkstar ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 07:58:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"if you're gonna act like a child, fine, let me treat you like one"
countesslathrowaway ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:24:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best comment in the whole thread! Edit to say: I woke my husband up laughing.
spikeboy4 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 08:04:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a 28 year old, I'd have been super happy to watch cartoon network. Best bit about a mid day Drs appointments is that they usually have Scooby Doo on.
heimdaall ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:53:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember snow days in elementary school were the best because they played Tom and Jerry on CN in the mornings
Protistas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember sick days in elementary school were the goddamn worst because all that would be on TV would be super little kid shows and Judge Judy.
It was many a year before I truly appreciated Maury
DynamicAilurus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:20:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This might have been during the late 2000s, when CN was full of garbage.
upandcomingvillain ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:03:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think dexters laboratory was on or something. Maybe the powerpuff girls. Regardless, he wasnโt happy about it, but I went back to the kitchen like I was supposed to so there was literally nothing I could do about it.
AloisAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:34 on April 12, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
r/pettyrevenge
The_Tarrasque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:47:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great username.
mahourain ยท 496 points ยท Posted at 02:18:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work tech support over the phone for CenturyLink.
One day, I get a call at about 5PM Friday from a woman who is freaking out because she's going to have her kids over and they don't have internet.
Okay, I walk her through the troubleshooting and it turns out she's gonna need a technician. They don't do weekend stuff, so she's SOL for the weekend.
Cue a freakout. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY KIDS I HAVE MY KIDS THIS WEEKEND. THEY NEED XBOX AND CABLE. OMG. And on and on.
So I accidentally blurted out, "Have you tried paying attention to them?"
The line went dead silent. And then she hung up. :x Oops.
purpleperil ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 09:09:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to do billing/tech support for Comcast a decade or more ago. A woman had been cut off due to non-payment, and asked what I would do in the middle of summer as a kid with no cable. I told her read... she wanted a manager. It was the truth we didn't get cable until I was 15 or 16.
PrinceDusk ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 09:53:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yup, read or watch movies. My cable was off-and-on when I was a teen
intothestarz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 15:19:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tell them to play outside lol
danyxeleven ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:47:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
iโve been a video game addict since i was three years old and yet iโve always managed to enjoy a good book and have fun when the power goes out.
DefinatelyNotARobot_ ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 09:09:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at telco in a Australia, strangely this call was common.. it like not having the internet for a day will not kill your children!
Sometimes depending on how shit of a human they were, I would deliberately book an appointment (even though not required), or schedule it a day later...
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 07:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ew CenturyLink :(
Hudsons_Heroes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:57:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think she hung up out of shame. Well played haha.
mjxii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:40:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aww yeah former centurystink employee here, brotha! Shitty job but they paid really really well. I shoulda stayed
Talasour ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:50:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously don't let the internet babysit your kids.
Qwikskoupa69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:15:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She shouldnt have kids
LacksMass ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 15:56:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like she only got them on weekends. So we'll call it a fair compromise.
Qwikskoupa69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:10:19 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If you see your children only on weekends you better spend some time with them
oyam_ ยท 1847 points ยท Posted at 21:41:08 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a hotel as a front desk. This group of family comes in to check in and I hand them their room keys. I see the father go out the door but I didnt see the rest of the family take a left to our seating area/lobby. Well the father just swings open the door and doesnt close it. I let out a sigh and say "I hate lazy ass people that dont close the door" to my co worker. I see in the corner of my left eye the rest of the family giving me the death stare.
I received a complaint the next morning.
sikkerhet ยท 1860 points ยท Posted at 02:43:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how do you get a job as furniture?
CoffeeFox ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 04:04:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First: remain very still.
Grymninja ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 06:42:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Second: choose to identify as a specific piece of furniture. The more elaborate the better.
I myself, am a hand crafted 40 year old mahogany armoire.
FrontDeskGuy95 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 04:48:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I believe I am qualified to answer this! Basically, you apply online and within days, your contract will be ready! From then on its just smooth sailing!
Source: I am a desk on a boat.
sikkerhet ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:51:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wow!! what's the hardest part of working as a desk?
FrontDeskGuy95 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:55:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to be professional and inviting whilst also being practical and safe. Our OSHA doesn't cover furniture either. It really is a hard knock life.
sikkerhet ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:58:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it's really hard on your back :/
FrontDeskGuy95 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:00:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Thanks, Obama.
Shalashaska_Revolver ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:58:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't notice this the first time I read it. When I read your comment, I looked back at the original comment and instantly started full on wheeze laughing, crying, trying to explain to my husband why I'm dying. Thank you omg
WhyIsTheMoonThere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:02:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Do you know that you made a rhyme?
engagedbbw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I totally did the same thing.
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:45:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/u/shalashaska_revolverโs husband is having a weird day.
Ansonm64 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:54:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also the โgroup of familyโ
J-cog ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:42:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as the floor in a resturant for a while. I was board a lot.
sikkerhet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:45:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm really floored that they haven't found a way to automate that one yet tbh
J-cog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True. Something about the management at that place really rugged me the wrong way.
sikkerhet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:53:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
they just have shitty ground rules?
J-cog ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:00:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it's like if you're out of line at all, you just get nailed down. I'm done getting screwed by the establishment
DrumBxyThing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโd say it must have been nice to hit the pavement, but that might bring up some bad memories for you.
Seiglerfone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was it a BDSM-themed hotel?
Kigarta ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:00:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We can sing
We can dance
After all miss
This is France.
YEGG35 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also
โThis group of family comes inโ
sikkerhet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it's just a random assortment of people who all have families.
protokhan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, it's a living.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:08:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated comment lmao
KittenOnTheRoof ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:23:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually you pay your domina for that...
fschwiet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You wooden want to know
robhol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apparently there's an entire fetish related to human "furniture".
The more you know..
oyam_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:12:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I nailed the interview
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs knot as hard as you wood think.
Chaotic-Genes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Watch "Brรผno" and find out.
SetOfAllSubsets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nepotism
natural_distortion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/u/Shitty_watercolour please?
throwawayplsremember ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
By hating lazy ass people that dont close the door. Furniture taboo #1.
hiyaguy42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory, "I'm just a coffee shop!"
jerimiahf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Post a pic up on /r/deskcorners - would love to see what you looked like on the job
GreatArkleseizure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On your hands and knees.
flahless ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 03:15:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a hotel. Iโm sure you have worse stories than that lol
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:32:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am a hotel
TalisFletcher ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:38:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a clever way of saying you charge strange people money to be inside you for a while?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:34:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE HOTEL
Vatimus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time at my job a lady asked me to put her in a room where there wouldnโt be birds outside because theyโre โtoo noisy and chirp too much in the morning.โ No, Iโm not joking. Lady, I donโt control the damn birds!
Another time a building a couple hundred feet away had their alarms go off, werenโt shutting off for like 30 minutes until the cops came...and then it happened again and this entitled old man comes down and is FURIOUS. He blames me for the alarms in ANOTHER BUILDING going off, says that he is going to call the police on ME when I say I canโt do anything about it, and proceeds to dial their number as they are PULLING UP TO THE BUILDING. I finally say I can give him a discount, and he has the audacity to end our nice little conversation with โLook, I donโt blame you.โ before he leaves. BITCH FUCK YOU. YOU JUST THREATENED TO CALL THE COPS ON ME FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL.
VeganPowerViolence ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:10:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been night auditing for 3 years now, and I have too many stories to even remember them all at this point
rinnhart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:54:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember my night audit years like a nam vet recollects Khe Sanh.
flahless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reading all these before I go to work is comforting
WiryJoe ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:46:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm just imagining in the middle of the night, in a poorly lit motel, a mother, child, and newborn just staring blankly at you with dead, evil eyes.
G_CAST ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:48:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A group of family
LionHenry ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:47:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
to be fair, you didn't really insult the guy! :)
Snote85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's like being on trial for attempted murder and saying, "It's not like I hit the guy..."
Tannerlawley0325 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:29:31 on April 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Downvote me again
Tannerlawley0325 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:19:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes... he did?
obartsh27 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:36:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, you worked as a front desk? I wish I could get a job where I don't move and let people write on me!
RobotBabyBomb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I chime in with a โhavenโt you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door? No? Itโs much better to discuss these kinds of things with a kind of poise and rationalityโ
Javaman1960 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You guys should share these stories over at r/talesfromthefrontdesk because they would LOVE these!
Ultimateace43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
dude, I was working front desk one night and this dude come in drunk off his ass, gets on the elevator and goes up. a few minutes later I got an emergency call from the elevator.
"HELP HELP IM IN THE ELEVATOR HELP!!!"
So I panicked and hauled ass to the elevator and pressed the call button. it came down and opened....
Dude was sitting on his ass in a corner looking down. As I stepped forward he looked up, and with the utmost gratitude in his eyes, asked if I could press the button for his floor.
ronin1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can just say "this family comes in", its pretty much assumed it's not one person.
oyam_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:30:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yea. no point in editing now though. I definitely could've worded this entire comment alot better. I was half awake and tired.
ronin1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:10:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
still funny!
Tannerlawley0325 ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 13:17:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But... how is he lazy for not closing a door? Maybe he left it open for his family, or he was putting up his stuff? Or maybe he was very tired? And besides, how is it any of your business? No offense, but you are kind of a dick, dude.
oyam_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was my fault for assuming, however he did not return. Also it is common to close the door after you leave especially if the door was closed.
Tannerlawley0325 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:52 on April 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What a dumbass. Itโs sad people like you get nearly 2,000 upvotes when you donโt deserve it.
Im_a_strange_one ยท 773 points ยท Posted at 23:00:08 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a legal secretary. One day my phone would not stop ringing and I was getting pretty annoyed with being interrupted. I got a call from a client who asked for one of my lawyers (who just didnโt want to take the call). I said my standard line of โsheโs just away from her desk at the moment, can I take a message?โ Client said that they would just hold and for some reason I replied with โoh no, I think sheโs in the toilet, Iโll get her to call you backโ.
codibodiwodi ยท 129 points ยท Posted at 04:27:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I need to keep the line open as I am waiting on another call. Iโll have the message given to her ASAP.
Or..unfortunately our phones cut off after exceptional hold times so Iโll have to go with having her call you back.
Toilets good too though. ๐
Verneff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:54:58 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work we've been joking about needing basically a black hole extension where we can drop people like telemarketers who are willing to go on hold. It would play hold music and would let them sit there indefinitely.
Bluthiest ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 03:53:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There is a woman who works as an occasional receptionist in my office and she does this all the time. Unbelievable.
OrCurrentResident ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:17:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago passed a reception desk and heard, โItโll be a while, heโs moving his bowels.โ
Bluthiest ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:19:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I guess thatโs..... slightly more dignified than โheโs in the crapper?โ
Piee314 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:45:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where to?
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:10 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I misread that as "He's removing his bowels" and just pictured how bad of a client they would need to be for someone to basically just go kill themselves rather than take the call.
TalisFletcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is it that different to saying 'They're in a meeting' or something?
Bluthiest ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:44:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. The better/only option is โIโm sorry, NAME has stepped away from his/her desk at the moment. May I take a message or connect you to voicemail?โ
TalisFletcher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 15:40:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Which is exactly what OP did and that didn't work.
AlabasterButthole ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"yeah mate, she's pinching off a few logs at the mo, I'll get her to give you a buzz once she's done."
FlusteredByBoobs ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 04:35:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's illegal secretaries?
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 05:32:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Go home Dad.
cosmic1992 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What do you think the wall is for?
Piee314 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:44:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"#1 or #2? If it's just #1 I'll hold."
WhyIsTheMoonThere ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:07:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE this. "Oh I'll just hold." Yeah and I'll just keep the line busy while my colleagues struggle to pick up the other calls waiting to be answered.
RobotBabyBomb ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:12:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โOoh chya you see she had 3 client meetings at 3 different PF Changโs yesterday, so sheโll probably be in there for at least 45 minutesโ
entenkin ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:28:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She can call you back after one hour... No, sir, I am looking at her schedule right now, and an hour is marked off from 3 to 4 pm to "move her bowels"... Yes, I can see here that she had a lunch meeting at that Mexican restaurant, and she must have gotten the chimichanga again.
tayluh21 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:47:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like how you really took it to the next level and said in the toilet. That client must have immediately been like "holy shit that sounds bad. Okay have her call me back". Lol
Leharen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You are indeed a strange one.
SyntheticGod8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:57 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I just heard a scream from the washroom so i think she's dropping a redwood log in there, so it might be a while."
snideways ยท 671 points ยท Posted at 00:11:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This wasn't exactly to the customer, but:
I was working at a bookstore at the mall. It was toward the end of the night and there were barely any customers, so my coworker and I were mostly slacking off. This guy came in and wanted to return something, but he didn't have a receipt, and started arguing with my coworker about it. We needed a receipt to process a return--the original receipt had to be initialed and turned into corporate, so we couldn't process his return without it. He was a real dick about it, but after several minutes of arguing he finally seemed to accept that we weren't processing his return and walked off.
"Jesus," said I, believing he had left the store. "That guy was a real fucking douchebag." Just as the guy in question returned to the register to make an actual purchase.
amelrake ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 04:23:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar thing happened years ago to one of my co-workers. It was on Halloween and she was in a costume that restricted her movement, I think it was a shark costume or something. She had a customer at the service desk that was giving her a hard time. At one point she turned around to check something behind the desk. When she turned around he was gone. She loudly proclaims that the customer was a real asshole. Unbeknownst to her he had just bent down to tie his shoe. He hears this and slowly starts standing, making eye contact the entire time. She turns bright red and decides to try and make a quick getaway, but she can't because she's wearing this costume so it was more like a moderate waddle away. Another associate stepped in to help the customer and calm him down. Surprisingly my co-worker did not get in any trouble.
[deleted] ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 07:38:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pongky77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:16:58 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Got any
grapes?
krolmgaming77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:50:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:16:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
valkyriequinn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:56:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
(Bum bum bum bum ba-bada-dum)
sk3lt3r ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 03:55:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did this the other day with a lady who was being really fucking rude to me. The bone chilling fear of getting caught by the very customer you're shit talking...
Shalashaska_Revolver ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:25:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So did he hear you? Did he get mad? Did you get lucky and he didn't hear you?
You're giving me story blue balls!
snideways ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:36:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He heard me, but either a) didn't realize I was talking about him, or b) felt shamed into silence, because he, I, and my coworker all pretended nothing had just been said. I never got in trouble. It was so weird.
katandkuma ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:23:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a woman ask how my day was going while I was fitting her bra. I said it was mostly good, but (because it was the Christmas rush) we had a few customers who were really impatient and cranky. (In my defense I was really young and hasn't learned not to be so honest at work). Some random lady comes out of the change room shaking with anger and said 'i think I'm allowed to be impatient when I had to wait so long for a change room'. I hadn't been talking about her at all , She hasn't made any impression on me but wouldn't believe me when I told her so so I said 'why would I talk about you when you're in earshot still?' It was not well received.
GreatArkleseizure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:24:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just tell the customer, "Oh, his name is Jesus, so what I said was fine."
Drunk__Potato ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hey mark!
CapThunder ยท 850 points ยท Posted at 00:05:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On call with a member who just had all his accounts frozen. No notes on why or what happened. The department that would have the answer left for the day already. This dude was understandably pissed. Nothing I could do, nothing management could do. After the exchange and giving the member the number to that department and their hours I told him "have a great day" without thinking. He responded with a pissed off sarcastic laugh and hung up.
justhereforthepupper ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:44:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to dispatch for a short time, and I've said this after a few very difficult calls out of exhausted reflex. In that moment I've never wanted to fall off the face of the Earth more.
pikaluva13 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had pretty much the exact same thing happen. For relevance, we normally don't have customers who call to us. The majority of our calls are from employees and contractors with the company we're contracted to.
Anyway, the customer called us due to an issue on his account (due to something on his end, not the company's end). He was not happy right from the start, and when I told him that we were only able to take his information and direct it to the people who can handle his issue, he got even more annoyed. I told him that I didn't have access to any of his information (which I didn't) and he told me I should "put my big boy pants on". Apparently he thought I was lying to him. Regardless, after listening to him swear and complain for a couple of minutes, I interrupted him and said something similar to "There's nothing more I can do for you; I guess have a nice day".
He then yelled over the phone that I didn't need to patronize him and some other stuff that I didn't catch since I removed the phone from my ear and hung up on him.
I wasn't intending to be patronizing, but I honestly didn't care at all about his issue. He should've done what he was supposed to do on his end. ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ
SJHillman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:25:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wife was in an accident when she was pregnant - driver leaving Adult World T-boned her, spinning her car off the road, then fled the scene. Fortunately, she was unhurt but was seriously shaken up. She called 911 first, then me, and then was on the phone with her insurance when I got there. They seriously pissed her off by trying to upsell her on several things and finished by wishing her a great day.
Hypsibremetes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What were you supposed to say instead
TonyDanzer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:55:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this literally all the time to people without meaning to. They could be telling me about how theyโre about to fly out to their grandmotherโs funeral, and Iโm so programmed by customer service that as they leave I still tell them to have a great day.
Andrew199617 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unless this calls about money i can still see him having a nice day.
Verneff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I work in IT so a lot of the calls I get are people having issues and often them calling in is reporting the issue but I'm not able to resolve it on the call. I've gone from "have a nice day" to "Take care". The amount of times where someone has called in with their entire company offline and I hang up with "Have a nice day" only to facepalm afterwards kind of forced it.
Onomatopaella ยท 462 points ยท Posted at 01:33:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bartender. One day this couple came up and the dude ordered a beer and I asked his wife if she wanted a drink as well, and she responded "I can't drink." Reflexively I said "Not with that attitude!" which was not entirely appropriate given that she was pregnant.
purpleStarBabe ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 08:13:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well I mean, it's rude to assume someone is pregnant so . . . You might have been in the clear?
kh9hexagon ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 10:17:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned you never assume a woman is pregnant. Never. Even if she's laying on her back, legs in the air, and the fetus is fucking crowning in front of you, you don't assume she's pregnant.
spysappenmyname ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:31:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's also rude not notice it when it's relevant, so you really can't win.
elninofamoso ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:38:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my expirience with pregnant women, everything is rude, funny, inappropriate and sad at the same time. Kinda frustrating after a while.
spysappenmyname ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:25:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and also you feel symphatic for them because they genuinely feel offended, angry and sad for many daily things, so the emotional rollercoaster isn't fun for them either, and they probably are trying their very best to keep their emotions in control and not appear unnecessarily easily offended.
RancidNugget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And it gets so much worse when they're pregnant.
HEY-OH!
EDIT: Yes, I know what thread I'm in.
dreadmuppet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:43:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned as a bartender to never push back after someone says they do/can not drink.
OneTrickPonypower ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 06:25:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh come on, that's hilarious!!! :D although pregnant ladies don't take kindly to fun on their expense.
GreatArkleseizure ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:14:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just wanna point out there's all sorts of reasons people "can't" drink (alcoholism and medication interactions come to mind immediately) ... so even if she weren't pregnant, you shouldn't have said that. Which I'm sure you know, but just want to point it out in case.
foxtrousers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:02:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How about a drink on the house as congratulations once you give birth!"- or that's how I would have tried to play it off.
ejeebs ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then you see them again in a few months and bring it up, only for her to start crying and him to say "She had a miscarriage, you dick!"
foxtrousers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:42 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It would be my luck
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ShubhamBelwal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:45:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OP who was a bartender at that time, asked the wife. Husband ordered a beer.
BluestarDolphin ยท -25 points ยท Posted at 08:02:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What a douchebag you are.
WhyIsTheMoonThere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:01:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can definitely see where you're coming from, but being in his profession I think being quick witted and able to talk to others in a light-hearted way is an important skill to have. Granted, situations like this come up where it's taken the wrong way and in hindsight may have been a bad move, but I feel it's important to weigh up intention against the way the comment was taken here.
Onomatopaella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bingo, I knew it was a dumb thing to say as it was leaving my mouth, but that's the point of this thread, right? My brain was like "Don't say that, are you kidding me," but my mouth was like "say it, it'll be funny."
Onomatopaella ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:03:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am a douchebag, but in this case I just couldn't see her belly and thought she was being a buzz kill
Creighshawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Uhm, why? This has definitely happened to me as a pregnant woman and I never once became offended. When you're sitting down and there's a huge shelf covering you from the tits down it's hard to tell. Jeesh...
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:18:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BluestarDolphin ยท -23 points ยท Posted at 10:22:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No.
But saying "not with that attitude" with an attitude like that to the customer who clarified not being able to drink alcohol is quite ironic. The op here is clearly was a douche bag like more than half of the people who answer the question, we find it here hillarious but if they were in real life and said these shits to us, we would wreck their shits with their douche attitudes.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 10:28:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
BluestarDolphin ยท -18 points ยท Posted at 10:33:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you offended by my comment?
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 11:29:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 11:34:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
not-the-evil-twin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds more like someone needs a nap :(
BluestarDolphin ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 13:32:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for concerning my sleep intake.
not-the-evil-twin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:39:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No thanks necessary. I'm just the kind of person who takes joy in helping others!
pixelbear_ ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 05:21:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a coffee shop. We didn't open to the public until 7am but staff arrived at 6am to clean and prep the shop. On the front door we had a metal shutter that was 3/4 down and I was busy mopping the floor. One lady just limboed underneath it and asks me for a latte to go at around 6:30am whilst I'm mopping the floor and all of the chairs are up on the tables.
I reply; "sorry we aren't open, you'll need to leave"
"Yeah, but I just want a latte." "I just said we aren't open. Please leave." "Oh c'mon, it's just a latte!" I hold up my mop "try again at 7am when we are open."
She storms out of the shop and yells "You've just lost a customer!"
"We need to be open first to have one, you moron!"
EricTheRedCanada ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 18:50:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady try to buy a coffee from me while I was opening the snack bar at a bingo hall. I was counting out my lottery cards for the day (I also had to sell lotto cards cause they couldn't afford to pay the lotto guy and me) with all the lights off, I had literally just gotten there and wasn't due to open for at least 30minutes
I told her "sorry, I'm not open yet, you can come back at 4 and I would be happy to serve you" she just huffed and said all she wanted was a coffee, so I pointed at the machines "sorry again, I haven't made a pot yet as you can see, I haven't even turned on the machines." she left with another huff
later during intermission she came back and said "are you ready to get off your high horse now and serve me?" while my back was turned, and I just turned around with my mouth open just flabbergasted at what she said and I stammered out "... what?... pardon me?" and she threw her arms up and said "I guess not!" and stormed off. it was the weirdest fucking interaction of my life
spacezoro ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 18:51:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then the mop clapped. But seriously, coffee shop customers are the worst shit.
excelerator9000 ยท 892 points ยท Posted at 23:11:45 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time this customer stood in the wrong line for like 10 until he got in the correct line where he had to wait another 15 minutes, when he got to me he was pretty annoyed and, for some reason, I decided to joking tell the guy that he had to back to the other line for what he needed. He didn't laugh.
BlueGreenReddit ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 03:28:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a trip to the DMV.
BrunetteMoment ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:28:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A 10 and 15 minute line? I think not.
dreadmuppet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:50:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Those were self serve kiosks.
Hidden_Samsquanche ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:50:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some people just weren't made to understand humor.
I work for a state assistance office in the states (AKA welfare office) and am the only worker at my location. One day i ended up having an extreme hoarde of people come to me (2) and had to request the second guy wait in the hall until I was done with the first. 15 minutes later I retrieve the guy, apologized and tried to lighten the mood by pretending to adjust my invisible tie, like a used car salesman, and ask what it was gonna take to get him into a shiny new benefits package today. He was not amused.
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:25:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty funny
justhereforthepupper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a similar experience the other day. I work at a university part time, so there can be some interesting folk walking around. As I was driving up, I saw a pedestrian walking down the sidewalk...strangely. Really feminine walking, but they had the build of a man, but the fucking walking was throwing me off. I came to the conclusion that the pedestrian was a wide-backed woman on account of the hair and the wall.
Boy, the full beard on the front was a shock.
mjxii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/gEyFH-a-XoQ
_LulzCakee_ ยท 598 points ยท Posted at 00:38:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was making a sandwich for a lady and a regular customer came in. I'll call him D. Usually by day he paints and is pretty normal. But at night, he's my favorite drunk who comes in. He's fun and hilarious. So he comes in and I wave and say hi. The girl smiles and excitedly says "You know him?"
And I said something along the lines of "he's a fun drunk"
The girl tells me he's her brother.
Even though she said it nicely, it still seemed like she was bothered by it.
I realized what I said and tried saying things like "he's one of my favorite people that come in here" because I didnt want her to think I was judging him (I wasnt)
[deleted] ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 10:45:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TipOfTheTop ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 12:11:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They're biding their time.
You shouldn't try to rush someone into giving you the D.
senorgharkstar ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 07:54:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
no shame in telling the truth though
NeilDaAssTyson ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 08:22:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Painter. Drunk. Checks out.
Homeschool-Winner ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 12:47:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll call him D" - proceeds not to call him D
SlugsAreCute ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:44:13 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would take that as meaning "He's fun when he's in here, a drinking establishment, drinking" but I suppose she just hear "He's a... drunk", perhaps because she's sincerely worried that he is a drunk. Sounds like a him issue not a you issue.
GoldCuty ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:09:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You wasn't judging him, but in your story he goes as D as drunk.
[deleted] ยท 229 points ยท Posted at 04:24:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Brandon42364 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 15:00:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oof
420_Accountant ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 15:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, that was harsh! Hahaha
anarchyisutopia ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:26:35 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that video of the cop pulling a woman over.
She tells the cop "I thought you didn't give tickets to pretty girls."
He says "You're right, we don't. Please sign here acknowledging you've received this citation."
jackalclaw22 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:34:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuuuuuuuck
RustAndFaith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As Kelso says...BURRRRN!!!
bakerbodger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:32 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take my upvote you silver tongued devil! Top fucking kek!
thrwthsshtawy21 ยท 417 points ยท Posted at 02:20:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at fast food restaurant that legit just Work you to the bone, when Iโm saying I was pulling doubles, like 6 AM-6 AM, and I was really tired and I had just worked three back to back shifts and this guy pulled up to the window and heโs all like โI hate your fries, I hate your sandwiches, I hate your fish, your food always cold โand me being me my instant response was โwhy do you come here then? โ, Needless to say I was sent home that day and got a write up but if anyone is interested in the guys response he said โyouโre rightโ then pulled out of the drive thru.
PrinceDusk ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 09:44:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean.. that's really the only response. Both your's and his. Also, who thinks it's a good idea to work anyone that long? that place must have been terrible, both to work at and to eat at
thrwthsshtawy21 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 13:17:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Youโre right. It was.
rollntoke ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:50:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If i worked in a fast food place and had to work any more than 10 hours in a row i would just walk out.
thrwthsshtawy21 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 14:23:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was hard times for my family, we needed money, both my older brother and I worked jobs like that until my mom got it together enough to let us live our lives.
Edit: I love my mom she was just a young mom who knew nothing about life and had way to many mouths to feed
bjambells ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 04:19:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a server at a restaurant. We only had about four dessert items which we would tell to customers because we didnโt have a dessert menu. One time, at a table full of women, I was asked for a dessert menu. I responded, โwe donโt have a written menu but I can give it to you orally.โ She was appalled. Her friends thought it was hilarious. I probably should have said, โverbally.โ
oldirtdogg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why was she appalled?
WowMyNameIsUnique ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:36:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Give it to you" + "orally" implies oral sex.
oldirtdogg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:13:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It could easily mean the menu items. I gotta be honest, if you say something normal that could also be a an entendre, I'll probably just ignore it. I think it's embarassing for grown adults to make fun of or get mad at something like this.
bjambells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:47 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. I canโt know for sure that she was appalled but the look on her face suggested as much.
Oupote ยท 203 points ยท Posted at 01:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had this customer that was ignoring her demon children screaming, kicking, and knocking things over in the store. When she was leaving and one of the kids was trying to steal something, I asked for it back. She went off about how I've hated them since they walked in and that I was racist and in my frustration I said something along the lines of "no, I just think you're a shitty mom" It ended well, I wasn't fired and they never came back.
Keyra13 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:39:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can see why that would get you in trouble but at the same time what did she expect? Glad it ended well
SlugsAreCute ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:47:39 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good gravy what a terrible parent, flipping out because you stopped her larva from thieving!
ETA: I mean, it's not prejudice, I'm sure you don't allow ANYONE to steal the merch right? UgH!
zebraside ยท 419 points ยท Posted at 01:00:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pharmacy and we sell hydralyte and a guy asked what flavours we have and I said โblack cunt flavourโ perfectly enunciated and at full volume instead of black currant flavour and I will never live that down although we had a good laugh about it
TechniChara ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:23:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
UK? Black currant isn't common in the U.S., which is a shame because I love that stuff. Lingonberry too. Waaaay better than the over sugared mainstream fruit jams.
faoltiama ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 13:41:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's because the farming and import of Ribes was made illegal in the early 1900's in order to save the logging industry! The federal law was turned over to the states in 1967 and only some of them have overturned it. Prior to that black and red currants were popular in the US, but I guess 50+ years of unavailability means no one knows what to do with them anymore.
Sorry, I recently read up on currants and now I know too much about it for a normal person.
ironymouse ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:26:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why ribena... Is called ribena?
faoltiama ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 15:41:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Almost certainly. Berry currants (as opposed to the kind that are actually raisins) are in the genus Ribes. Black currants are Ribes nigrum and red currants are Ribes rubrum. Both were outlawed by the US in the early 1900's. (Which obviously I said above, lol.)
Bent_Brewer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:19:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some states are (as you said) allowing them though. I have 4 varieties here in California. I'm particularly fond of the ribes odoratum 'Crandall' because it smells like cloves when it blooms.
zebraside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:20:18 on April 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I actually really appreciate this i will now regurgitate it to people so i sound smart
shagreenfrap ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:50:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"UK?"
You don't say?
BackstrokeBitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:17:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lingonberry and salmonberries are my favorite but they're both kinda niche and I can never find them or their derivitives anywhere.
zebraside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:28 on April 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Actually Australia and thatโs sad as hell for you ://
dankmernes ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:18:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
is it just as pink as the others
time_is_galleons ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my head i imagined Forrest gump's voice saying that...
Radioactive24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:54:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, trying to say it out loud, unless I really focus on the word, I slur out "Black Curnt", so I get it.
Cflynn00 ยท 312 points ยท Posted at 01:51:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This took place in either 1999 or 2000. I was working at a Walmart while going to school and starting to get stressed out with everything on my plate. I had a customer come in and ask where we kept our audio cassette holders. I told them that we donโt carry them anymore so they asked where they could buy them. Before my brain could come up with an answer my mouth answered โAn antique store?โ Thankfully they laughed at my answer.
HailAtlantis ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:19:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was the customer Titus Andromedon?
mypandaisWallace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No way, he still has to get the cassette shelf built and working
Jacizi2016 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cars made in that era came with cassette decks so weren't cassettes still fairly common?
TheVermonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:33:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes they were. My dad's 03 pickup had a cassette player. CDs had hit the mainstream market, but people still had hundreds of cassettes in their house.
zebula234 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:38:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think because CD players in cars were a nightmare until around then. Hit a slight bump? Skip 1-2 seconds of song.
stolen_me_mes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, you're not wrong...
lizziebomb ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once said "soz" instead of sorry to a customer when we didn't have something in stock.
I hadn't said soz since I was about 14 and I still cringe everytime I think about the look she gave me.
Totally_not_Zool ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:42:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the cringiest post here.
Kall45 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:32:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sozzard you feel that way, mate.
Socialistrevolt24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:48:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What else should I be
All apologies
sqqueen ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:46:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't eve know what that means. Are you British perhaps? or maybe Australian?
TastelessCookie ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:30:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it's the text form of sorry
ProjectKurtz ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Or if you were on message boards in the early 2000's, it's a really flippant and disrespectful form of sorry.
J1497 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How is it pronounced?
never_esc_the_sand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Saws"
worotan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:40:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ignore the saws guy, itโs pronounced the way itโs written. Itโs what kids say to get sorry out of the way quickly.
You know how to say โsozzledโ? Itโs like that, but only the first three letters.
juliet17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Genuinely curious where you're from and how you pronounce saws? I'm from New England in the USA and saws and soz are the same to me.
worotan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Old England.
notorioushackr4chan ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 16:02:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha do you like TEA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Eshmam14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:31 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes how did u no
FirstPrimroses ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:27:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a library and a while ago we had this kid in who left all his stuff on a desk somewhere and came back right after we had closed to get it. There were four of us, coats on and ready to leave, just watching him and waiting. He looks at the group of us, shrugs, says and says "soz". Just that one word made me want to kick him.
AcrobaticApricot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How do you pronounce that in real life?
never_esc_the_sand ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:28:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Saws"
ZNasT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:53:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, how do you even pronounce this? Is it like "sawz" or more like "soze"?
sugarydoring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
is it bad that i still say this?!
juliet17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:51:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My boyfriend and I say it to each other when we're joking around. So you're not alone!
sugarydoring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Phew!
Unfinishedmeal ยท 486 points ยท Posted at 22:18:14 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a long day as a cashier for the third day in a row, so I was kind of giving less shits then I should have been. Iโm checking out a customer who is face timing her friend and just going โI canโt believe you left me thereโ and โoh my god you are so terribleโ; so after hearing this for two minutes I just go โwhat an asshole.โ Customer did not appreciate it.
sirdigbyrussian ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I fucking appreciate it!
TransformerTanooki ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:51:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I figured out recently how many days it takes for me to have a mental breakdown from being stuck on register with the store being black Friday busy for most of those days.
melissapete24 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:55:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I HATE people being on their phones while in the checkout line. If you're in the process of getting rung up, GET OFF YOUR DANG PHONE! It is RUDE in the extreme, because what if the cashier needs to ask you something or clarify something? I HATE this, and I'm a millennial!
now_you_see ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is someone Iโd do! You did the right thing. Imagine what they would have to say to complain
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Want to upvote, but you're at 69 points my friend
[deleted] ยท -102 points ยท Posted at 04:35:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Unfinishedmeal ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:46:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ยฏ\(ใ)/ยฏ You work holiday season back to back to back and not be a little exhausted at the end of an eight going on nine hour shift. I should add that I was still new to the job and not fully adapted.
[deleted] ยท -114 points ยท Posted at 04:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gigalongdong ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 05:34:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, let me jerk myself off about how much I work. Get over yourself.
NineBeanSalad ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 15:26:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You don't want to work nonstop for low pay and no breaks? I bet you'll be wanting dignity and benefits too huh? I bet you're some kind of MILLENNIAL!
gigalongdong ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:30:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work construction. But I'm not going sit on Reddit and "brag" about how many hours I'm on the job.
Lol, benefits. That's hilarious!
[deleted] ยท -69 points ยท Posted at 05:37:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
gigalongdong ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 05:49:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Either you're a troll or a sad shell of a human. Happy wanking!
[deleted] ยท -19 points ยท Posted at 06:00:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 06:25:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 06:29:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
rj6553 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:52:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And die a good 40 years early.
gigalongdong ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:55:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This person is direct messaging me now about how much they work. Cheesus crust!
ClitoralElegy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:13:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pics.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:56:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rj6553 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:12:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, because those are the only indicators of health.
Satellitedishwasher ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:47:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man, it's not cool to hate on some people for doing an honest job. 1) everyone has to start somewhere and 2) it makes you look like an asshole. No one likes people that look down on others because of their age or their position.
natalooski ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 04:57:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
respectfully-- I'm not sure it's a millennial thing as much as each person's individual perspective on life. no matter what the generation, 8 hours back to back to back in retail for the holidays might be the hardest thing they've ever had to do. for someone else, being adjusted to working heavily all the time, is simply life for that person. we only know what we can see from our own little window. I wouldn't be so quick to disparage the new generation and make someone feel trivial or lazy for sharing an experience that you personally wouldn't find to be so difficult.
kiwimag5 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 05:00:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like you. You make the world better.
natalooski ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that's the best compliment ever, thank you!
xOm3ga ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:37:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you just have priorities that are as shitty as your disposition
Snote85 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:32:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you my mother? She was a teacher for over 30 years with perfect attendance. I know that because she lorded it over every other human she interacted with like it was some kind of prize to kill yourself for your job and do nothing but hate it so much you can't stop talking about it. No one cares. No one. Not a single soul gives even the slightest shit how much you did at your job and how that entitles you to anything. You're wrong in thinking it should. Everyone is different and everyone matters as much as you do, if not more. Because at least they can get through their day without saying, "That's the most millenial thing..." when your older generation shit on you just as much as you're shitting on "millennial". Get over yourself and take a moment to reevaluate what matters to you if you're complaining about someone talking about being taxed at work. I also PROMISE you that I have heard people your age complain about as much, if not less, than what that person is complaining about.
[deleted] ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 05:39:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Snote85 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:41:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just because it's the first time you've brought it up doesn't mean it's the first time you've thought about bringing it up. Like I say though, no one gives a shit how much you do. I owe you nothing and don't care if you carry the weight of the world on your back. It's your decision and you can be happy about that or not. It's meaningless to everyone else but you.
[deleted] ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 05:46:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Snote85 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't hate you and you're not proud of working hard. You're overcompensating and using it to define who you are. Proud is looking at what you've done and internalizing that accomplishment. Telling someone who had a long day they didn't have a long day is just being an asshole. :D
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Enguhl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:00:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working 55 hours a week isn't the limit of human capacity either. Maybe you should learn some discipline and work ethic before bashing how much other people work. And for someone claiming other people like to project, I could hook a laptop up to you and do a six hour PowerPoint presentation on synergy in a business environment without worrying if the people in the back could see.
[deleted] ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 05:02:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Take a vacation, you sound like you need one.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 05:43:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 13:45:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup! In your basement, eating your avocados, with the fan on so I stay chilly, cause snowflakes don't wanna melt. Fight me.
Solaire_ofAastora ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:35:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow 55 hours that's not even half what I work every single day. Hard manual labor combined with technical support. After work I like to lift weights while beating my meat real tender, it has been marinating all day! Such amazing steaks here in Minnesota. Oh by the way, you take vacations? What a lightweight! Please post more about how you work harder than everyone else, but it's no big deal because you consider it "light" also congrats you work harder than some teenager at their first job, want a medal?
mathrio ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:53:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good for you! Your medal is in the post.
Why are you so salty tho?
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Redsippycup ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 06:12:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because letting your employers shit on you means your "disciplined." Good one.
gigalongdong ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 05:36:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you just bust a nut over how much you love yourself?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:36:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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gigalongdong ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:49:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So mad. Golly gosh darn you!
Just4TodayIthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuming! :)
mathrio ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Early retirement made you salty?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
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[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 05:39:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
mathrio ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:59:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What makes your think I don't get it right now? Truth is, you're salty as fuck or you simply would not be responding to me or taking precious time out of your important day to let someone on the internet know how much their opinion doesn't matter to you.
You come across as a sad individual, I have pity for you.
kylexxyy ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:44:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even trying to sound rude but it seriously sounds like you need to find a new job or go back to school to get a better one if you can't get more than one vacation in over a dozen years. I'm not sure if that's from poor planning or affordability or what, but that's not something to be proud of in any way. Im a millennial with a fairly minimal education and i work for myself, I work a good amount of hours now and used to do manual labor for 50+ hours a week, so working a desk job now leaves me with way more time and energy(not to mention money), and I still found time/money making a 3-400$ a week and digging holes to go on vacation once or twice a year.. it's really not the craziest thing in the world to plan and save a little bit. I'm not really sure what you're getting at by saying that or how that's a good thing.. I really don't mean to be rude, but that to me just says poor planning or poor choices as to what you do with your money or time off. I mean I know people have extenuating circumstances (health problem for me, but not too expensive), but still, barring a few things such as that it seems like some not great choices were made if you've only been able to take one vacation in a dozen plus years of working, its not like you just moved out and needed to get on your feet. again, really not trying to be rude or attack you, but if what all you say is true, It sounds like choices you made rather than necessity that led to not having a vacation for so long or working so long without a week break or etc. I really would not be proud of that if that's true. Really would recommend going back to school if all you say is true. I went back to finish my bachelors (almost there) and recently started working in my field for myself after manual labor for about 8 years.. It's not easy and it's not killer money being freelance, but it gets me by and definitely easier to plan time off for vacations or etc! Again, really don't mean to sound rude, I just think maybe something is wrong with your planning or choices that were made if what you say is true. A friend of mine I really respect is in his mid twenties with about a half dozen rental properties he started buying in high school because his parents made him to invest, and making a good salary just from that as well as working a lot more than you do as a construction foreman with real responsibilities, and he will be retiring by the time he's about 40 if not before,l with a much better income than you or I. I just say that because he's a millennial, I'm a millennial, and according to one of your comments you said something about being one yourself if I'm not mistaken.. So I don't see any point or evidence to that millennial comment and I don't think anyone gets an award or commendation for working to pay their own bills, but about the rest of what you said I would really take another look at things if you think that's something to strive for or be proud of. I mean good for you I guess for working and not being a bum and paying your bills like 98% of other people, but sounds like you really haven't progressed financially or with your saving/planning nor have you gotten a further education or tried to start your own business, etc after fourteen years if what all you say is true.
Crosstitution ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
/r/iamverybadass
cuntliflower ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:46:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your life makes me sad.
windywiIIow ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:56:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So what did the bad millennial do to you? Please show me using the dolls....
OhMyGodItsEverywhere ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:05:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People from all generations can tough it out like that, and people from all generations also can't.
I admire your discipline.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
drunkmaenad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, you're a millennial?
Then shut up bc people close to your age eat avocado toast and tide pods
Solaire_ofAastora ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:39:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe I have more experience getting my shit pushed in, you're a millenial!
bonerjamz12345 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:10:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sounds like you should get a better job you poor piece of shit
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:13:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:17:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
so then do you just willingly work like a slave so you can brag about it on reddit?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:23:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So you work 55 hours a week (which in your opinion is light), even though you dont have to since you make more than enough, so you can live happily with your family, who you cant be with because you work 55+ hours a week.
I'm 28 and I make more than 300k a year haha - money that I use to vacation with my wife and kid on my time off
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:31:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
you want to see my paystub? i'm actually at work right now
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:33:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i mean, it's electronic because it's 2018, but i can screen shot it for you
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:34:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:36:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
okay hang on
haha no you dont, from your history:
"Nope, I haven't really been able to afford any type of gaming system since the xbox 360. My boss just got a switch and plays it at work though, looks pretty fun."
Just4TodayIthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
waiting
bonerjamz12345 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:49:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
here you go pussy
https://imgur.com/a/bNyV
https://imgur.com/a/pCQi
hey real quick, what's $15,630*26?
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:34:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i do have online statements...that's what i told you and you replied with "then print it off and write my username on it".
are you OK?
bonerjamz12345 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:55:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL dude I'm not showing you my bank account.
WTF are you talking about haha
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:56:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
bonerjamz12345 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
sure why dont you just PM me your SS number and full name first and then I'll be more than happy to show you my bank account. if you dont believe the paystub that i printed off and wrote on why would you believe a screen shot of a bank account? i could totally just use one of those free bank account creation tools on the internet.
dolt.
justaddbooze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Understands pay stub creators exist, yet doesn't seem to know what Photoshop is...
Unfinishedmeal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:05:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think if anyone is triggered itโs you. You are really on the defensive about your life choices.
Twitchie716 ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 00:03:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โGood morning, sir.โ
Customer was clearly a woman.
alreadyincognita ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:43:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do this like twice a day at the movie theater I work at. Thankfully no one has caught it yet.
StripedSausage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Classic!
DarkVignette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โOh Iโm sorry. I have a coldโ...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this to a lady who honestly looked like a man... I was absolutely horrified.
LordVader1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:30 on April 7, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done this countless times
elsharra ยท 226 points ยท Posted at 02:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Tim Hortons, a really hot guy orders a fruit explosion muffin (a muffin with berries and a jam-goo injected inside). They were a new menu item and he asked me if I liked them, I said not really "I have to be in the right mood to have something shoot warm goo in my mouth".
Edit: I hate fruit goo. I dont like fruit pies, or pastries, not really a fan of jams. I totally didn't realize how sexual it sounded till about five minutes after he left, then I was utterly mortified.
ExtraCheesyPie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:49:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fruit explosion muffins are one of the few good things left at tims, you fool.
hanazawarui123 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:54:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I choked on my grapes laughing. Now my mom thinks I am possessed.
spacezoro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:23:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can't be possessed but you can be dead.
samboydh ยท 1972 points ยท Posted at 01:35:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for TSA. Now working day after day taking crap from passengers, you get a little immune from speaking your mind but today was not one of those days.
It's 6 am in the SouthWest terminal so its peak rush-hour and every lane is open and packed. I am working the divestiture position, so basically I'm standing behind the table in front of the machine to make sure you had everything just right and answer questions.
Keep in mind, what you are asked to do wont always make sense. Even the officers have occasional WTF moments when we get a rule change. Some come from headquarters, some are local management made up things, and some come from airport stakeholders. The company providing the security bins sold advertising to pay for the cost of new replacement bins every 6 weeks or so, as such they did not want people putting their shoes in the bins and getting them muddy or wet. So being a good officer, I had to tell people not to put shoes in the bin and take them out.
Next in line is a group of your usual early 30' something business bros dressed up casual. Cool. The first guy put his shoes in a bin with his coat and ignored the usual spiel leading to this interaction.
Me: I'm sorry, No shoes in the bin. I'll need to put them on the belt.
Bro: Those shoes are $200 designer shoes, you cant expect me to take them out (These shoes were some beat up Adidas with dirt all over them and quarter size holes in the toe box.)
Me: (Turning to the guy,) These shoes are torn up, they cannot be worth that much (and in a smooth motion I take them out of the bin and toss them on the belt.)
Bro: Did you really just do that, don't you know who I am!?!
Me: ( I look him up and down and say,) Sir, you are flying SouthWest. You cant be that important.
The fellow bros just started dying of laughter and have to hold themselves up with the tables. Head bro turns beet red and scurries off to the scanner. Realizing what I have said scurry back to the podium and tell the manager that I said something stupid, he may have an angry passenger headed his way, and I was going to hang out on a different lane till the guy passed by. I never got in trouble and the passenger never complained, but that was by far the best on the job burn I have delivered.
Edit: Formatting
the_river_nihil ยท 367 points ยท Posted at 05:02:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This might be my favorite one so far. Also, you might appreciate an interaction I had with the TSA during my punkish teen years:
For whatever reason I would always, always, always get pulled out of line for secondary screening. It had been that way for years. No matter how I dressed, no matter how late or early I was, or what airline I was flying. I was guaranteed to get the freedom fondle. So one day I have a cross-country flight and I just decide "fuck it". I show up wearing a bullet-belt, spikey bracelet, giant mohawk, grease-stained wife beater & leather jacket with studs and shit all over it, steel-toe boots, and nearly a dozen face piercings. I would have gotten searched going into a night club, let alone an airport.
What does the agent do? Guy busts out laughing. Says to me "do you not know where you are? Did you not know you were going to an airport when you woke up this morning?" then he yells at his boss "Hey Tony, get a load of this guy! Aahahaha!" After a couple more agents get a laugh, I'm waved through. Dude says "No one who's doing anything illegal would call that much attention to themselves, just walk around."
loveladee ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 05:59:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
that's hilarious, maybe you should always be this loud
the_river_nihil ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 06:29:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I could pull off the full blown gutter punk look at my age, but I do what I can to keep it real around the office.
coolhwip92 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 06:47:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Freedom fondle had me laughing for a good minute. I'm definitely using that.
spanky1337 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 07:04:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Funny little thing that happened to me. Was traveling for work with my coworker. He's a white man with a shaved head (he's balding and had some stubble growing back in at this point) around about 50 years old. I am a 24 year old guy that has a beard. Thing is when I don't trim my beard for a while and it REALLY grows out and gets long I often have people assume I'm from the middle east. Like I have even had other middle eastern people ask me if I'm from Iraq.
So I hadn't trimmed my beard and was flying out of the San Antonio Texas airport. I had joked earlier before we got there that I was going to get pulled for additional screening.
Nope, they pulled my 50 year old white coworker to give him a test for traces of explosives on his hands while I stood to the side and watched his bag. We joked about it a fair bit after we got back home.
samboydh ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So true. Don't worry about how you think they want you to look, You can always tell when someone seems off because they are wearing a personality shell.
Klippymcmuffin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 09:53:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And that's when you pull out the bomb.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This worked for me as a goth/punk kid myself.
tonivuc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahahaha this is the funniest thing I've read all week
Ambitus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:51:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Out of curiosity, why were you flying that much as a teenager?
the_river_nihil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Moved when I was 18, made some trips back home between 18 and 20. Before that I would occasionally go with my partner at the time when she was looking into colleges or visiting her family out of state for the holidays, and as a younger teen it was because my grandparents have a farmhouse out east that I'd go visit from time to time in the summers.
(Edited for completeness and spelling.)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Studded leather and painted band names too right? Ex-teenage rebels unite my man
N1ck1McSpears ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:48:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I travel for business and I wouldnโt even look at a TSA person wrong. I canโt afford to miss a flight ever. And half the time I am trying to get home and all I wanna do is go the fuck home and water my garden and pet my cats. Whatever the fuck those people tell me to do is exactly what Iโm gonna do.
dankmernes ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 06:13:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
a random TSA douche just got an authoritarian erection
samboydh ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:21:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Southern airports are the worst for making up BS strange ass rules that are only designed to make things more difficult. If you protest, they seem to take joy in making your experience miserable.
I transferred from a CAT X west coast hub airport to a CAT II southern and that shit was like night and day. I had a co-worker who would yell at passengers who didn't speak English as if that would magically make things better. I'm just trying to play charades over here and she just barges in to only get louder.
continuumcomplex ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 05:31:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe people have the balls to say shit to the TSA. I fly a fair bit and I'm always worried I'll let pulled out of line for forgetting a mint in my bag. :P
Though I do frequently wonder why every single airport has different rules for going through the TSA line and why every time I go through O'Hare and LAX it seems like the pre check line is longer and slower than the normal line...
samboydh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 06:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The first time I flew after being an officer I just kept turning to my husband saying, " they cant do that, that' not SOP" " You don't have to separate that, it's not a laptop."
He just turned to me and said, "Welcome to the fucking TSA."
TheVermonster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:37:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"security theater"
zdakat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guess the rules don't matter,as long as someone get punished for something it looks like they're doing something to help security.
Piee314 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:47:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am honestly a pretty reasonable guy and don't bear the TSA a lot of ill will, but that would be infuriating to hear. It's already so arbitrary, that just takes the cake.
Great story though. It's nice to hear from the other side.
The_Real_Sam_Eagle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:14:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Having worked for the TSA as well,I felt like it was a crap shoot as to whether the shoes were in the bin or on the belt any given day. Not that it really matters all that much, those bins hardly make a difference in the x-ray.
idejtauren ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:18 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Last time I took a flight, they let us keep our shoes on.
Except my shoes, for some reason, set off the machine.
I hate flying, but for different reasons.
samboydh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I would just hate when people would put one piece of jewelry in a giant tray on a slow day for it to get caught up on the flaps.
steelsuirdra ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:00:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so glad I use TSA pre check. It's so nice to not be treated like a terrorist. I once had a 5 minute conversation with the metal detector agent about the MCU. That shit would never fly in a normal line even if it was slow.
Anyway, good on you for not taking someone's shit :)
samboydh ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I have had some deep conversations with passengers on both pre-check or standard lanes when the checkpoint is jammed and I am stuck at the metal detector. Just depends how sour the mood is from the ID check line.
git_rekted_bruh ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 04:31:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hope he brought a small bottle of aloe vera for that burn.
stolen_me_mes ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:19:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta make sure it's small enough to be within tsa spec.
samboydh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:38:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where is your quart size bag? I can't think without a Quart size bag.
emojiibro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:18:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
he needs a whole fucking plant broh
otakugrey ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:23:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus christ that's amazing.
Leveroneh ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:52:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean he easily couldโve not been bullshitting about the shoes, UltraBoosts start at $180 before tax. Resale for some colorways can easily be $600+
Rodyland ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:42:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you did say "sir" at least...
spectrumero ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:57:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There is a possible urban legend where someone did the "Don't you know who I am!?!?" thing at a CSR at an airport gate, and without missing a beat she apparently picked up the PA mic and broadcast all over the airport "Customer service to gate ##, we have a customer here who doesn't know who he is"
lixious ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 05:27:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This seems top be a recurring thing with TSA agents. I was taking my son through security when he was 5 (6 years ago). I had prepped my son beforehand so that he knew what to expect and why he would be asked certain questions. After checking that I wasn't kidnapping my kid, the agent asked my son to recite the alphabet backwards. My kid has a learning disability (autism and ADHD) and low self esteem because of it. He started to shake and just stared wide-eyed at the old man who finally said "just kidding" and waved us through. I was livid on the inside but just moved on. My son was really confused and nervous for a while. I still don't get wtf that dude thought that was a good joke.
samboydh ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Poor little dude. I would usually ask the kids "Hey, where's Perry" or "how much wood could a woodchuck chuck" to be silly. Now, 11/12-year-olds I would ask "How many US territories are there," you can just see their minds get blown.
lixious ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:29:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Age appropriate is key. He would have thought you were hilarious.
I should clarify that the agent was deadpan when he asked the question too. It was just creepy and weird. You sound fun though.
samboydh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:47:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If It wasn't a bad day, yep. I'm gonna defuse this situation with a little humor.
My favorite line for expedited screening ( basically everyone becomes precheck for a half hour at a time) would be to say, " Now folks I know you have spent your every waking hour to learn the rules, but forget everything we taught you in the last 4 years for the next 20 minutes."
fareswheel65 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 05:58:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry but if the agent didnt know your son had any learning disabilities, you can't really blame him for making the joke. Most people would have found it funny.
thisvideoiswrong ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is it supposed to be a joke about getting pulled over for drunk driving? Because a 5 year old isn't going to get that. They may or may not be able to recite the alphabet forwards, so saying this to them isn't likely to work out well.
fareswheel65 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 06:19:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What? No.
Most five year olds would just say "I can't do that" or something similar. Haven't you ever had older family members joke with you as a kid in a similar fashion?
thisvideoiswrong ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 07:00:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I recall. Sounds frustrating and humiliating, though.
fareswheel65 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 07:01:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why? It's a joke...
thisvideoiswrong ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 08:26:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because it's a perfectly possible thing to do. z y x w v u.... The "joke" is based on the child's inability to complete the task, despite it not being obviously impossible or overly difficult for an adult. The intended end result is then the questioner saying, or at least thinking, "ha ha, you're stupid." I probably would have attempted it, but at that age would definitely have had to start listing from a every time I got stuck, resulting in an unreasonably long process that would have been interrupted to explain that the intention was to mock me.
fareswheel65 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 08:47:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have absolutely no issue admitting that I can't recite the alphabet backwards.
lixious ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't and neither did anyone else I asked. If he had asked that question of an adult, I can see it being funny, but little kids don't get jokes like that and fear authority, disabled or not.
fareswheel65 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:37:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not necessarily. As a 5 year old I doubt I would've been than bothered by the question. I can see how it would have not been so great knowing your kid has a disability, but I personally would have found it hilarious if I had a kid in that situation. Then again I am a 22 year old guy, and you're a parent, so there's a good chance our senses of humor dont overlap.
NewaccountWoo ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 16:48:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I would have hated that as a kid.
And probably hated the adult thinking that they are just trying to mock me
fareswheel65 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that how you take all jokes?
NewaccountWoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:54:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a kid
Pretty important part you're ignoring there
caninehere ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There are a lot of times and places for jokes but TSA isn't one of them. Nobody is happy to have to go through all the US' bullshit security, the last thing they want is to listen to a bad joke let alone be offended like that. People just want to get through the line without getting hassled or talked to.
VerifiedMadgod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:01:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have never flown, why wouldn't he want to take expensive shoes out of the bin, what happens on the belt?
samboydh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basicly a lot of little stuff can happen to damage your shoes.
jfm2143 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:59:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This filled me with doubt about your story. The rest of it I can buy, but THIS was a bold faced lie. Did you even work for the TSA?
samboydh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:11:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Drats, the jig is up.
ANYWHO... we would actually open every lane for about one hour a day including the auxiliary checkpoint. Otherwise, we would only run about 4 lanes. Mind you, this was 2011, so things could have changed since the sequester.
AlabasterButthole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:37:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's just amazing. You are amazing.
Durandal-1707 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite story, well played.
pulpaintfiction ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:15:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dammed that was good! see you on top soon hopefully
edgar__allan__bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite one of true. Fucking excellent burn, bravo
l0te ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:29:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is the best one here. A+
Nevermind04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit I hope they called in the airport fire crew for that one.
bonerjamz12345 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:08:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yeah ok nerd
samboydh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:10 on March 31, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Humm, was it you? Quick, what color was my uniform!?! Oh wait ...
modestlycocky ยท 217 points ยท Posted at 05:05:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FINALLY...
I worked at NASA's IT helpdesk for 6 years. Toward the end of my time there, we had 3 days off due to snow. They day before it was supposed to hit, my boss tells us to take our laptops and headsets home with us so we could use VPN to take calls from home until the base opened up again. I wasn't happy about it, but taking calls in the comfort of my own home in PJ pants with no shower was much preferable to my normal daily routine.
First day of the break comes along and I'm enjoying the hell out of it. 1 monitor on my work machine for logging calls, 2 monitors on my home machine for video games and movies. Needless to say, whatEVER the problem was that day, everyone had to reboot their machine.
So its about halfway through the day and I've just told this lady to reboot. I pick up my controller and start hacking my way through some Devil May Cry when my brand new, 8 week old kitten stumbles into the room and starts rubbing against my leg. I look down, grin widely (because kitty!) and beckon him up into my lap.
But here's the thing... He's tiny and lacks proper jump height.... and I'm in PJ pants. Logical conclusion? Tiny, razor-sharp daggers of love pierce my skin as the little fuzzball climbs his way up my leg and into my lap. Being completely caught off guard by the whole situation, I immediately screamed "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, I WILL MURDER YOUR FUCKING FAMILY!"
The cat, startled, scampered away. I had about 3 seconds to breathe deeply and examine my wounds before I hear ".... exCUSE me?!"
I forgot... to mute... the goddamn... headset.
In a panic, realizing I was about to lose my job, I decided to go with the truth and hope for the best. Luckily, the customer on the phone was an unashamed crazy cat lady and we both had a good laugh.
TL;DR Screamed at a customer that I would murder her fucking family.
MrPureinstinct ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:20:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god this is the first one that made me actually laugh. Now all my co-workers think I'm crazy.
metaaxis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:08:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ah, co-workers. I remember those.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:32:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I pushed my young adult cat off my lap while wearing shorts. He decided he didn't want to exit my lap. I still have the scars. Also don't scream at kittens. :)
modestlycocky ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:27:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He got the last laugh. His mom was a Calico, his dad was a Maine Coon. He's now full grown and 19 pounds.... Still a lap cat...
Rhadian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:34 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A male Calico? Nice. That's a rare one there.
modestlycocky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:54 on April 1, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He's not a Calico, but his mom was. He looks more like Garfield. Massive orange tabby.
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IvyGold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:15 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a small scar from the gold medal hockey game in Vancouver when the US tied the game after yanking the goalie.
My widdle furball, who was happily napping on my lap, I guess had never heard me scream like that.
suntiesuzy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:34:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
True story.
Source: Currently working from home with my 6mo-old kitten.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:23:11 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Of course you decided to go with the truth. Whatโs the alternative? โYeah I was talking to you, bitch. Whatsupโ
LtColBillKillgore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's amazing. I can get pretty profane as well if I'm frustrated about something, but thankfully no customer has ever heard that. (Managers have though)
And goddammit, kittens have sharp claws.
[deleted] ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 05:11:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
spacezoro ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Levitate levitate levitate, PUT GOD ON THE PHONE
Captain_Desi_Pants ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant!!
Dagdoth_Fliesh ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 02:00:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did not personally happen to me, but when I was a kid in my first restaurant job, one of the waitresses (the most modest and kind lady you can think of) tried to ask a man if he'd like cocktail sauce to go with his food. What actually came out was "Do you want some cock sauce?"
Everyone had a good laugh, but god, her face was so red.
Tossmetothewind ยท 145 points ยท Posted at 03:02:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was an addictions counselor doing an intake on a young woman. I believe we were close to the same age. I would have been 23ish. I asked her about her alcohol usage...
Her: "30 pack" Me: "....A week? A weekend? " Her: "a night" Me: "I'm not gonna lie, that's impressive"
I was doing another intake and it was a child in need of care case. The report I was given said that the client and her kid(s) were living in a tent by a river or something. I asked her for her address and she didn't have one. I said "the report says you are living in a tent" she said "no, we are camping" I said "permanently?"
gonepermanently ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 08:01:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
wow
senorgharkstar ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
how are you supposed to know if you haven't lived it though, or seen someone live it? i dunno i think you did ok
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:44:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol please stop talking
Tossmetothewind ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:21:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. I was not mature enough to have been working there.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:40:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I spent a day shadowing friend while she worked with a very speech-impaired autistic child, on the assumption I would perhaps take over and move in to this line of work.
After the day finished she asked how I felt about the experience - my (no thanks) decision was pretty much entirely based on "I am nowhere near mature enough to take responsibility for shaping this persons life."
I since went on to say many stupid things at various low-responsibility jobs.
Smikewolf ยท 908 points ยท Posted at 20:31:33 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Telling them that they were wrong regarding UK returns laws (sales of goods act). Proceeded to print a copy of the part in question and highlight the part that proved them wrong.
Nothing became of it, but I possibly took the whole โyouโre wrongโ thing a little far.
adammac316 ยท 429 points ยท Posted at 00:59:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're ;)
DaCheesiestEchidna ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:14:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But what if he was stating that the wrong belonged to the person?
drunks23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:52:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
its' they're wrong to
Blaze420swagYolo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:01:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too*
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:17:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whosh
PuppleKao ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
twitch
Reginald_Waterbucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Then itโd have to be youโre bull.
smitywrbnjAgrmanjnsn ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's...not how that works
Phazerman ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He/she
ejdanderson ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You need to print this out, highlight and send it to them
WiryJoe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wrong!
AstronautPoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Print it off too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
His bad.
Amazingamazone ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:26:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do escalations and to point out the fine print that they agreed to when purchasing is satisfying. Added to that satisfaction is that we do not even use a small font and try to use normal, understandable English where possible, too. Rtfm, where manual can also be our T&C, the manufacturing warranty or your local consumer law.
DocAtDuq ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:09:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a college bookstore. We had a kid come in one time demanding a certain price for a book. He kept going on and on about how we had to give him that price for the book. My manager was like late 70s kept telling him that the price on the shelf is what we sell it for. This kid whips out a packet he printed from the Ohio weighs and means division and tryโs rattling off all this stuff about what we were doing was illegal and how he was going to report us. My manager takes the textbook and tells the guys that this isnโt a courtroom but my manager does have the right to refuse him sale which he is doing and he was sure the kid could look that law up too.
iuhtcideneb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*sale of goods act ;)
lacquerqueen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love doing this. People seem to think i answer calls because i am dumb, whereas i work in a specialized system and do a lot of different things and take some calls part time just like all my colleagues. Itโs to keep the job varied and keeps us from burning out. I love switching to my legal speak and have them go โoh...โ. I also often send them proof.
gregjph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:32:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You have to give me my money back, that's trading standards that is"..
Leon_Depisa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:52:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*youโre
Insecurity-Guard ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
YOU'RE
TheHumanZoid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did something similar, but with the Consumer Rights Act 2015
sazzlysarah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:44:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is this in regards to how SOGA is not superceeded by EU law? If so I literally had a similar experience yesterday.
Smikewolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, at the moment SOGA is superseded by EU law, as EU law gives six years where uk only gives I think itโs 5. But yeah. If you work in retail itโs a headache every time BBC do a special on it.
sazzlysarah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:31:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My understanding has always been that the SOGA, or the Consumer Rights Act since October 2015 (CRA) take precedent over EU law because while it does not specify a minimum warranty term like the EU law does, CRA instead gives superior long-term legal support in the case of faulty goods, giving a consumer 6 years to take a case to court where goods go faulty. 5 years in Scotland. So it can vary based on what the goods supplied are, the nature of the fault, and what reasonable lifetime of the goods are expected to be. It's difficult getting that across to someone without them making a scene though!
Rikolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Never. Not until you've shamed them into defeat and admitting they are wrong.
MonkeyDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone pointed out yet that it should be โyouโreโ?
No?
Huh, that is surprising.
shortsonapanda ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:47:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You think thats far? /s
I will hold onto a "you're wrong" for weeks (especially if I'm wrong)
Happydrumstick ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*you are
BeardsuptheWazoo ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 03:21:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're*
ThikThak1 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:08:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wrong what?
KingNarwahl ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:31:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So how was being corrected? Also, I feel very sorry for your poor inbox...
CallmeMerry ยท 191 points ยท Posted at 23:15:14 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My absolute favorite moment was when I worked at Circuit City with a friend of mine. I was busy grabbing something for a customer, so my friend grabbed the ringing phone.
"Hello, this is Office Max, how can I help you...of course... can I put you on hold for a second? Thank you."
Then he proceeds to hang up on the customer. He hadn't worked at Office Max, but incidentally got a job there later.
Alderin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:42:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your friend the time traveler.
Pythonixx ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 02:25:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a dental assistant. We had a new shipment of slow speed drills delivered; one of my co-workers handed me one and said โthis one is fresh off the press, itโll cut through anything!โ Without thinking I walked into the surgery where the patient was sitting and repeated what my co-worker had said to the dentist.
The patient turned around and looked at us both with a horrified expression on her face and said, โwhat do you mean itโll cut through anything??โ I can understand why she was surprised because she was only in there for a clean; no drilling involved.
I was absolutely mortified.
LurkerStatusOver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:56:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try not to wriggle to much
KingLeonidatass ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 00:10:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a removal guy for a short time. One day i was pretty hungover and chatting with a customer who told me in a humourous tone "i needed removal men because im so clumsy id probally break something"
And i said
"Yea dont worry im pretty clumsy too, always dropping and breaking stuff"
Probally not what she wanted to hear. Anyway, we never broke anything by dropping it, but on the way to the new house, which we were following them in their car too, my workmate crashed into the back of their car. They probally forgot what i said after that.
amazonian_raider ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:57:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are "removal guys" what would be called "moving guys" or just "movers" in the States?
sirdigbyrussian ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
amazonian_raider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Digby, are you a knight of the same realm as King Leanidatatatas?
jackaloper92 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's "Three Blokes and a Lorry" across the pond, idk what this guy is going on about
KingLeonidatass ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 13:16:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh cool, I never thought I'd meet the offical "guy who speaks for the whole of the UK" on reddit. It's an honour sir, it truly is.
Nevermind04 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:10:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, I'm not 100% sure what you mean, but I'm pretty sure you're in the furniture moving business.
In any other context, if someone brought up a "removal guy", I would assume they're talking about a contract killer.
mmmmchlorox ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:02:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please learn to spell the word probably.
KingLeonidatass ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I probally won't
Omnesquidem ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 02:34:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was known as the project manager who could take a screaming customer and, by the time I got them off of the phone, make them happy. Until one fine day this marginal customer (he always tried really hard to negotiate down) calls me screaming about we didn't deliver some items on time. I couldn't get him to calm down even when I told him that we informed him the day before via email and voicemail that the delivery had been refused. I let him rant a bit but it was getting old so I said 'if you don't calm down and quit screaming like a pissed off 12 year old I'm hanging up'. Que the cussout so I hung up on him. What he DIDN'T know was my VP was sitting at my desk listening to him rant. So he calls back and starts screaming again. My VP, God love him and RIP Mike, grinned at me and said 'You are our lowest profit margin customer and, if you're going to act like a jackass, we don't need or want your business' and hung up. We had a laugh over that then headed to the local eatery for quesadillas and margaritas for lunch. God I LOVED that job. I called it my 'hobby that I get paid to do'.
km89 ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 03:07:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking an order on the phone. The lady was very chatty. Her address, coincidentally, was right next to the house I grew up in--so when she started to give directions (in excruciating detail) I told her that I was very familiar with the area because I had grown up right next door.
Cue the Hagrid face.
Half an hour later, after she had told me about damn near everything that had ever happened to anyone between when I moved out and then, I finally just about hung up on her.
Talory09 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked for a major satellite TV provider (billing department) I recognized the customer's name - he was a very popular and respected coach from my high school, and one of his sons was in my graduating class. We had a fun time catching up (he still remembered me, even though I graduated in the 80's).
Throughout the call I referred to him as 'Coach So-and-so' since, well, that's his NAME as far as I'm concerned. My supervisor had been randomly checking long calls and after I got off that call he asked why I was calling the man Coach, I explained from whence I knew him, etc. Probably the best call I ever took while on that job.
kmlixey ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 05:15:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Super late to the show, but this story should be told.
I was a server in a family-style large portion Italian chain restaurant with dining rooms in a basement. Apparently a table got seated in a section that had recently had its server sent home for the night due to the end of the dinner rush.
Well, I'm cleaning up my section in the small room adjacent to this room when a visibly angry man approaches me and shouts "Who's dick do I have to suck to get some service in here!?"
A slight pause and then my response, "What's today? Tuesday? Me. I'm Tuesday."
MrPureinstinct ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha nah fuck that guy, that's a great response.
MrBulldops1738 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 05:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First job, working back drive thru at McDonald's. I'm having fun with it, first customer comes by, Me: "How can I help you?" Them: "Can I get a minute?" Me: "You can have all the minutes you want!"
Next customer...
Customer #2: "Yeah can i just get a sec?" Me: "You can have all the secks you want!"
Manager: "Hey can I talk to you real quick?"
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:40:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well great. Now Iโm having flashbacks to being a lolrandom late 90s Internet jackass, constantly unironically spelling โsexโ as โsecksโ like the absolute thundering virgin I was.
LucasBackwards ยท 172 points ยท Posted at 00:54:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer but a co-worker. She introduced me to her girlfriend and I let out a very abrupt "OOHhhHh, NICE TO MEET YOU!" It sound to the universe like I was freaked out that she was dating a chick when in reality I am just a weird person that reacts awkwardly to strangers. I would have acted the same way if it was a guy, but I realized it would have only made it worse to try and explain, so I just kind of shut up and looked down at my hands for a few minutes.
AnglophileHistoryNut ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:28:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, completely, totally feel your pain. I do this daily.
Currently trying to retrain myself to not be so incredibly self-conscious.
Itโs hard. The struggle is real.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man.. this reminds me of my coworker coming to work with his newborn along with his wife who Id never met. It starts out with him calling me from across a decent distance and I wasnโt 100% sure if he actually did or not so I looked at them both with a confused look for a few seconds, and in my defense he never repeated my name or gestured me over, so I just turned back around and went back to my business. And then a few moments later they came up to me and hes says โhey, did you wanna see my baby?โ And the only fucking thing I could utter out was... โniiiiiiiiceโ awkward head nod so I quickly was like โshit shit shit save faceโ and followed up with โshes adorable!โ And I think I managed to slightly salvage it but his wife was definitely looking at me like I was an alien. Horray for social awkwardness and just the general awkwardness of trying to be excited about an acquaintances baby when you barely know the person
Piee314 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm pretty awkward too. Not quite to your standard though. Keep fighting the good fight!
Thatdudewiththestuff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:52:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You sound fun.
doodbro86 ยท 343 points ยท Posted at 20:28:40 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thought I was on mute then proceeded to tell co-worker how stupid customer is
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 00:54:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TechniChara ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:15:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a call center years ago and knew a guy who did this. He thought I was a humorless bitch for not laughing along but that is just unprofessional and playing with fire.
JehPea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
People that do this are completely stupid in a real braindead way. Chances are calls are recorded or a supervisor is listening and mute doesn't stop it from hitting the recording, only the customer.
cscf0360 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:33:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tell my employees not to risk using the mute button to curse about customers. I've had to fire good employees over that and it really sucks every time. My employees are pretty good about doing as I request because I'll get off a manager call and remark, "God, what a fucking bitch!" so they know I get where they're coming from. Unfortunately, all calls are recorded and insulting a customer is an immediate termination offense. I can't override HR on it.
misterxy89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We just mute then unplugged our headsets. Apparently that was the only center to do this?
lazarusmobile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, the mute and hold buttons didn't mute the recording, unplugging the headset was the only way to safely curse at a bitchy customer.
misterxy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that was my "hold' and "mute" (I still hit them, but I always unplugged)
Leegala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit I hope my job doesn't keep recording... I frequently hit the mute button and complain loudly to my boss...
Never said anything but clearly not worth the risk.
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 20:30:12 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! Oh, that's bad. What happened after?
doodbro86 ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 21:56:17 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol well needless to say he wasn't impressed. Complained to manager but they don't record calls so it came down to my word vs his and I obv lied
111122223138 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:58:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I could never work in customer service for this reason. It didn't even occur to me that lying was an option until you said that.
TheSecondSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not OP, but happened to a friend of mine... You simply get fired
pictonbug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:02:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did something similar except they were the person I called for help. They honestly did not know what they were doing and I reiterated to the customer that the person helping me must not really know what he was doing. He heard me.
shortsonapanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We got an i-d-10-t problem boys
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why you never say anything until you hang up the call. Always assume it's not on mute.
KalessinDB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
*record scratch*
He was not.
[deleted] ยท 115 points ยท Posted at 03:08:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dankmernes ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 06:32:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
what kind of out of touch vegetarian doesn't know there's meat in a corn dog?
never_esc_the_sand ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:32:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Regardless of who they are, they should know to always check their order against dietary restrictions if ordering something they haven't had before, which this clearly seems to be the case.
marijanemojo ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:52:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Agreed they should probably have checked.
However, am Indian and it took me a watching of Princess Diaries at the age of 11 to find out that corn dogs were a thing and they were, in fact, not dogs shapes made of cornmeal.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:05:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SlugsAreCute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:31 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...so they should ask which items are vegetarian, not just order random items.
I_like_your_unit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I'm not American but I thought they were vegetarian too. In my mind they were something like falafel but made of corn? I don't know, maybe I'm dumb.
DeathArmy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:52:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably said that to try and get his money back but still eat the plate
Differentdog ยท 729 points ยท Posted at 00:12:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Serving a table of 4 black ladies who had become impatient waiting for their lunch order, I replied "I'll get back there and crack the whip." So dumb....
joannie_pepperoni ยท 189 points ยท Posted at 04:29:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man this reminds me of being a hostess and leading a black family to the only open booth. Dad turns to me and says, "Why are you putting all the black people in the back?!" I think I sputtered out that it was the best open table and about died of embarrassment before the mom said "he does this all the time, you're fine." Dad jokes, they'll getcha.
jaubuchon ยท 82 points ยท Posted at 05:15:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad always did that.. Except he's not black... Neither is the rest of my family
suicidalpenguin99 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:39:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Classic dad
Shadilaybrethren ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:43:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What color is your mailman?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:31:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Blue and white
machingunwhhore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on the season, they go with warm colors in the fall and cool in the winter
[deleted] ยท 121 points ยท Posted at 03:16:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TJ_H00ker ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:36:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your reaction made it bad. It wasn't beforehand.
MacGeniusGuy ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 01:49:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I really don't think this is that bad as long as it was intended in a good-natured manner
UnvoicedAztec ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 05:16:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Objectively, no. But get yourself some irritated customers and some awful historical context, and baby you got a stew going.
TheRealUnicornSalad ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:15:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow. I say this to clients sometimes in reference to our vendors, and Iโve never thought about it being perceived in this way. Definitely not going to use that one again. Yikes!
reliant_Kryptonite ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:03:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
OMG! Back in high school I was helping a friend, who was black, with some hard maths problems. After awhile he said " damn man! Don't be such a..." and I just blurted out " what? A slave driver? "
He fucking died laughing as did a nearby table of students. But one of the " teachers" (read a coach who needed an excuse to work there so they put him in charge of a few shifts of study hall) came flying out of his office berating me about racial sensitivity.
After I wanna say ten minutes of this dude yelling at me. I just sorta said "okay, sorry you're so offended," and walked off.
I was not a smooth kid. The Dean had words for me that evening.
justaddbooze ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 14:48:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Remember teach offense can't be given - only taken, and trust me you'd be much better off if you could a joke even half as well as you take offense.
pulsebomb ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:48:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I made a joke once to my black GM about some of the work being โslave labor.โ Once it left my mouth I froze. He was in the other room so he either didnโt hear me or brushed it off.
OmniscientOCE ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:04:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can't say the words "slave labor " in America ?
justaddbooze ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:46:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be like telling a Jewish person in the cubicle beside you, man work here is worse than Auschwitz.
It's not the same as just saying the word Auschwitz, context matters.
Interversity ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:08:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...you can, itโs just a bit passe to compare some paid office work to literal chattel slavery. Some peopleโs grandparents were slaves, itโs typically not great to joke about in front of black people.
zerovin ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:36:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, As a non- American, you have so many terms and words that you can't say even in a joking maner. I know there's historical relevence, but you guys are a pretty sensitive bunch of people as a country.
Interversity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:36:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I personally wouldnโt care that much, but I presume you can imagine how that could be quite offensive to people who have been slaves in living memory?
zerovin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, offensive to those people I can understand. But when you ban or make a word or term that other countries use freely, in a joking manner or as a metaphor tabboo to say by anyone lest you get publicly shat on, is a pretty big over reaction to some words.
Iโm from Australia, and people call us the most racist country, but really we Are just people that donโt put that kind of weight behind words. Sticks and stones as the saying goes.
OmniscientOCE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting. I am of the same opinion as /u/zerovin
I don't really get it yet but thanks for all the insightful answers everyone !
DragonDeadite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:02:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell water filters for fridges, and a common question is "how often should I replace my filter?" My go-to answer is "If it's just one person in the house and you use it to make a cup of tea on the weekends, it should last a year and a half. If, however, you have 6 kids in the house and drink a gallon of Kool-Aid every day, then 3 to 4 months."
So far only gotten one funny look from an older black man...
...and a Mexican family.
BiffsWashAndWax ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 02:55:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was first starting in sales last year, I walked into my 3rd of 4th customers house and was a little sweaty and winded from the previous appointment.
I sell Hurricane windows which requires me to spend time out in the sun measuring large homes and getting a little dirty.
I walk into the customers house, and his dogs proceed to sniff my ass and my crotch like I was hiding some treats. The customer, an older man, tells me, โThey love sniffing everybody.โ I replied with, โIโm pretty sweaty from my last job. Iโll give them something to sniff.โ One of the most awkward things thatโs every come out of my mouth. Didnโt make the sale.
alwayseatingbutts ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 04:11:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I deal with lots of address confirming for my job. One guy lived on Elm Street, after a minute or so of awkward silence, I asked, โso do you get a lot of nightmares?โ He replied, โhuhโ and I just proceeded with confirming the rest of the reservation as if I never asked.... I am pretty sure he heard me.
OldManPhill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can almost guarantee that hes heard the joke a million times
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 04:43:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
raffsrulz ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:48:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She needed to hear that from someone. Hopefully it all ended well.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:08:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amazi0n ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:40:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, how do you get this type of closure to a 911 call?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:59 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:21:28 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds really nice
Hjcoug ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 05:05:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a dude and was working at McDonaldโs. A male customer came in and ordered a fudge Sunday. As he was leaving, I realized I forgot his packet of peanuts so I yelled out โhey, wait a second, let me grab your nutsโ.
justlose ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 09:02:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Okay, but be gentle".
superluig164 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:43:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You fucking killed me with that one
TotallyHumanPerson ยท 244 points ยท Posted at 01:02:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I was ringing up a customer's 6 pack, he asked me if I sell a lot of that beer. I say it doesn't run out of my store, but it has some legs. Dude was in a wheelchair.
Rising_Swell ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:41:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that fits perfectly, he also doesn't run out of the store, but has some legs. Presumably.
Nevermind04 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I bet he didn't stand for that kind of humor.
Sea_sharp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:30:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"That's great! I was just looking for a new pair of those!"
sora_fighter36 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happy Cake!
[deleted] ยท 356 points ยท Posted at 23:43:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I maybe accidentally kind of said "Fuck you" to a customer who was treating me terribly over his coffee order. I now think I could have possibly been more professional.
flappyhappy123 ยท 380 points ยท Posted at 02:26:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Fuck you, Sir"
abbyabsinthe ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:55:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've admittedly said variations of that to customers, especially when it's late at night, and they're too drunk or too out of line to report me. One time I was doing something with a display by the back door (my coworker was ringing up a line of guests), and a customer going out told me I had a nice ass. I screamed at him to go fuck himself, and turned a few heads from the line of guests. I think decent people view it as refreshing, rather than an issue to tell my manager about. I don't make it a habit, but I'm not afraid to confront assholes either.
One time I had a dude at my register (who I later found out was my cousin) asked me out if I'd go out with him, "if I was interested", to which I replied, "sucks that I'm not interested", and got high fives and cheers from the next three guests (two of them women) in line (this was right after the bar next door closed for the night, so everybody was in there getting food and smokes).
SANTICLAWZ ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:47:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At least you know you look good to the average drinker.
Wait..is that bad?
abbyabsinthe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:09:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's worse to know that I look good to my cousin (who's also at least 10 years older than me and... not exactly attractive; he comes from the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome branch of the family).
Polubing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:29:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ow.
Frustration-96 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:59:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm confused. Are you saying it would be better if your cousin was more attractive?
Totally_not_Zool ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:39:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Good sir, would you kindly return home and perform autofellation?
Verneff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:50 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Would sir please kindly depart this world of the living as soon as possible, preferentially through a flame?"
Leharen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:16:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Fornicate yourself, Sir"
MinnieAssaultah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a GM at a movie theater I worked at who hated dealing with problem customers; but when he did deal with the "I want to talk to a manager" type he would be so sickeningly sweet (he was very tall & very effeminate & clearly gay) & then he would end the conversation with "fuckyouverymuch" & it was amazing to see the expression on the customers face while they tried to figure out if they had heard him correctly. it was amazing!
lakebythesea ยท 686 points ยท Posted at 00:01:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a retail pharmacy and late one night a woman pulled up to the drive thru window talking on her cellphone. She handed me the prescription I tell her it will be ready in about 10 minutes. She said she was told over the phone we could have it ready right away, this is ridiculous, the whole thing. I say, "Ma'am. You need to change your tone, because IT IS AWFUL." She was shocked and asked for the prescription back, and I gladly handed it over. As I closed the drive thru window she said, "Bitch!" It's the only time in my life I've been called a bitch, because I'm super fucking nice. I think she was talking to herself. I expected a call from the regional manager but never got one.
TenorTwenty ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 04:30:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like you ๐
MyDudeNak ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:38:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sincerely don't believe you've never been called a bitch if your go to response was that.
lakebythesea ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 04:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You've got to start somewhere! Retail changes people.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:19:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You bitch! There, now it's twice. Give em hell.
PirateRobotNinjaofDe ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:27:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
...wait...since when do pharmacies have drive-throughs? Da fuq?
orthogonius ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 04:41:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Since 'Merica.
But seriously, a quick Google search tells me they're common worldwide. Walgreen's opened their first in 1991.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:02:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
N1ck1McSpears ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:52:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once had a pharmacist loudly discuss my medication with me in front of other people. I didnโt ask, he just started blabbing. And it was a medication I didnโt want to discuss in front of people. Iโm still mad at myself for not telling on him. It really embarrassed me and it was Not professional or appropriate at all.
CappuccinoBoy ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:10:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir. Why do you need 20 packs of Sudafedrine based decongestants? I'm legally not allowed to sell you that much."
Poisenedfig ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:58:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Because the phenylephrine bullshit doesnโt fucken work cunt, thatโs why I look like a sickly fucken ice addict.
orthogonius ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer to go in to verify things before I pay, since I've had oddities a few times.
But the drive-through was very nice back when I would have a sick kid in the car.
EDIT: For example, twice doctors have written me prescriptions in a way that made them come out to a 32-day supply. My insurance normally pays for 30-, 60-, or 90-day supplies, so I would have paid twice as much for 32 days as for 30. It was easier to spot that inside at the counter, and I was able to ask them to "underfill" the prescription for 30 days instead of 32.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the uk, 27 years old and Iโve never seen a drive thru pharmacy. So obviously not that common, at least not here
orthogonius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'll concede: common in many countries.
disasterline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They are the worst thing ever. Everyone I have ever worked with agrees that we should burn them down.
People will wait 30+mins in a drive through line that is wrapped around the building,when they could come into the store and be out in 5 mins
Genericuser2016 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:53:15 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They've had them in the US at least for quite a while. I've never used one personally since it seems completely bizarre. I'm not even sure what you do. Hand over your perscription and then sit there for 20 minutes? I always use the pharmacy at the grocery store and shilop while I wait, or failing that at least walk around a bit assuming I'm able.
PirateRobotNinjaofDe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thereโs a pharmacy 2 blocks from my house. I walk there and play on my phone for 5 minutes while they fill my prescription. If the line is long I come back the next day.
There is also a pharmacy at my grocery store. If I use that one I fill my prescription while I shop.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:20:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't use the drive through for dropping off a new script, but if I just have a refill ready to pick up I find it's pretty convenient.
stefanica ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
CVS pharmacy has for at least a decade.
craftsandtea ยท 303 points ยท Posted at 22:37:00 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well mine I stupidly emailed; we had this client who not only was a bitch but a stupid bitch, and I was already feeling salty with her because she shouted at me the day before. She was using our product online to create a test and was adding questions to the test, and came across a question she had been hoping to use but that gave the message "This item is no longer available", because the question had been removed. The reasons behind the removal varies; maybe it has a bug in it and will break the test... maybe the other questions it is aligned to are no longer used... there are many reasons. But ultimately, it is No Longer Available. This client took a screenshot and emailed it to me and said "What does this mean?" Well rather than investigating the reason and providing a detailed response, I just replied with "It means exactly what the message says. That item is no longer available. Let me know if I can help you answer any other obvious questions." My boss was NOT happy.
arrowbread ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 03:18:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Man this thread is cathartic. Iโve wanted to send so many emails like that. Thanks for letting me live vicariously through you.
ProjectKurtz ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:58:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've sent thinly veiled emails like that. The key is to not directly call them out for being a fucking idiot, but heavily imply it by explaining the answer to their question in the most drawn out minutiae possible, then ask "Does that make sense?" or "let me know if there's anything else I can help you with."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You know the art. It's apparently difficult to teach because I've been trying to teach my people for a while. The best way to get an asshole client back is to explain the obvious to them in a way that shows just how obvious it is. Treat them kindly but as if they're so stupid they'll break. They tend to shut up after that.
craftsandtea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:48:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh absolutely! Usually I'm way better; I'm a big fan of "Per our previous conversation", "Please advise", and "That is outside the scope of my work". In this instance I just hit reply and fired off what I was thinking even though I knew better. Whoopsie!
shiguywhy ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 01:16:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally implied that it was a customer's fault for not checking if her coupon was expired before she tried to buy $400 worth of stuff she didn't need and couldn't afford without that $10 coupon. Half an hour of being verbally abused and belittled later, another employee went to get the manager for me to placate her. Apparently being told that you should have checked your coupon before buying $400 worth of stuff you don't need and can't afford without a $10 coupon only works if you're a manager.
ProjectAliceX ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:52:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One Christmas (work at a supermarket) called to collect her online order asking us where our drive through window was for it (was a trolley full of groceries). Explained we donโt have one on the phone and that they are collected from our service desk, starts yelling and Iโm like sorry but our back dock is too dangerous to have customers. She comes in after 15 minutes and demands one of us help her with her trolley as she canโt do it as she has her kid which are all over the age of 5 (my store is pretty busy now we are calling priority alerts to the front end) and I say ok and proceed to help her with her trolley, she is parked a good 15 minute walk from my store in the opposite car park from my end of the centre, we finally get to her car and I wish her a merry Christmas and start to walk away and she scoffs and says is that it youโre not going to put it into my car. I explain Iโm technically not even supposed to be this far from my store and Iโm not supposed to put them into the car for safety reasons and she starts saying some unpleasant things, I snapped and said are you fucking serious itโs Christmas my store is busy as anything and youโre complaining about me following my store policies Iโm walking away now and have a good holiday.
thrwthsshtawy21 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:24:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What did she say?!
ProjectAliceX ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:26:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At first she was like excuse me and then just a jaw drop, she did complain but I told my boss straight up what happened when I got back to the store so they were waiting for it so they could get rid of it because it was my first complaint
Frenchwish ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 02:13:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work front desk in a behavioral health private practice. We see a lot of vets. Iโm a super friendly and kind person who always strives to say the right thing to everyone who comes through the front door. A guy comes in and says he is having a bad day. He is a regular patient we see about once a month. I use the good old adage, โevery day above ground is a good dayโ. Thinking I can connect with him and cheer him up. He looks at me and says yeah, I guess so. His son had killed himself the week before and he had just buried him. I wanted to die after I was made aware of what had happened and what I had said to him, in an effort to lift his mood. Fuuuuck. One of the 22 Veterans daily that come home and kill themselves I have never, ever said the wrong thing More in my entire life - nor felt as bad about it. Still makes my heart ache just to think of it. Iโm so sorry.
FontChoiceMatters ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:57:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought you were talking about veterinarians.
StripedSausage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me too
potatomaestro ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 00:12:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โAnything else I can help you with?โ โOh yeah thereโs this...โ
...shit.
valegrete ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 00:28:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for Rent-a-Center a few years back and part of my job was calling all the customers who were late on payments. Dialed โBig Robโ and was unsurprisingly met by the answering machine; no big deal, I go into my voicemail spiel, but I get cut off. โSorry, I didnโt get that. Please leave your message after the beep.โ
This happens three-four more times until I finally lose my shit and scream at the answering machine โwhat the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid piece of shit?!What a worthless waste of ten minutes.โ Clang the phone down and hit the truck to go run credit.
Come back and the boss is staring daggers at me. Apparently the answering machine actually decided to record the last time and โBig Robโ had come down to the store personally to set me straight. We all laughed when I explained what happened, but they transferred the account to a different rep because the guy didnโt believe the story.
nikkiali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really understand this one.
AmandaTwisted ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:20:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The voicemail kept cutting off after taking part of the message. Very frustrating.
aard_fi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:19:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't used voicemail myself for over a decade, but I use it now and then to deal with annoying callers in the phone system at home.
Unwanted calls are usually just routed to listening to the Llama song without the phone ringing, but (unless it's an unlisted number) I still get a Jabber notification. So if somebody doesn't get the hint I'm getting annoyed by the notification they'll get the special voicemail treatment, with cutting off, offering number navigated menus where always the wrong menu is selected, echoing what you're saying back to you, ...
I automatically delete the messages after a month, but when I'm bored or need entertainment I go checking if there's something funny on there.
Kit4242 ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 02:42:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once sold residential internet and tv service door to door. I came to this house once and this little girl came to the door. I instinctively asked if her mom or dad was home. That's when I noticed her tattoos... and her glare... It started to click that she was not a child and was just a short woman (as in 4 foot 9 ish).
I just looked at her and said "I should leave right?". Without a word, she nodded, still glaring and I tucked tail.
hpotter29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FWIW, I think you handled the aftermath with extraordinary dignity.
parrsnip ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 02:56:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a big box hardware store in the outdoors department and a lady came up to me asking where the Sevin was. Without even thinking I โuh right after six.โ I had completely forgotten about the product Sevin which is used to kill insects. Iโm just glad she was in a good mood and found it humorous.
NotABurner2000 ยท 205 points ยท Posted at 22:18:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a woman the other day who was having problems with a spray bottle she had bought, mentioning it was really expensive. This was all in French, my second language. She asked where the product was, then said something I didn't understand. So I said "...so you wanna buy a new one?" In French. She switched to English "WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK?!" And then proceeded to lecture me on the difference between "vous" and "tu", as if I didn't know. I mean, she seriously wasn't giving me much to work with. She was originally asking if she could return it but she didn't have the product or the receipt. Like... what?
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:21:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
O la vache.
Yaksho ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:08:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wei wei.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:42:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oui oui
Dangerjim ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:47:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jean Paul
Panel2468975 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:27:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Baguettรฉ
Qwikskoupa69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Baguette
goebbelsnoballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feche la vache!
misterxy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quebec? New Brunswick?
NotABurner2000 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:34:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quebec
misterxy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The moment you said french to English. I knew.
NotABurner2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a hard life ;(
misterxy89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try being in NB.
senorgharkstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
surely she had that loaded up
dolorousbread ยท 166 points ยท Posted at 02:58:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a server when I was 19-20. It was a summer day and I was serving the lunch rush on our patio. I had this couple in their 20s sit down and order. She got an Asian noodle salad (with the crispy noodles I think?) and he got whatever he got.
When I went to do the quality check of the meal, the woman told me her noodles were soggy. I apologized and told her I can bring it back and get her a fresh one. She refused it. I said I could bring her more crispy noodles on the side to add in. She refused that too. I made a couple other offers to fix the issue which she also turned down. Then she said โI just donโt want it to happen to anyone else... Iโll eat it... but I just donโt want anyone else to have this problem too.โ
Right away before I could even stop to think I said โoh, so youโre a martyr?โ Her boyfriend busted out laughing and she looked stunned. I immediately realized what I said and apologized profusely. Luckily the dude paid and I got a good tip anyway.
loveladee ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 06:06:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmao, he probably deals with this from his gf on the reg, he was happy you said something
Lulwafahd ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:30:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you weren't wrong.
Delta1262 ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 02:07:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a college tour guide for some time. Loved the role and the mix of people youโd always get. Some people were kind, friendly, and excited to be touring a campus; while some, were just plain upset they had to be there.
On one tour full of accepted and wait listed people, I had one mother and daughter at one point who were upset that skateboarding (as a mode of transportation) was allowed on campus. The mother launched into this โI canโt believe that my daughter is accepted to a school full of hooligans who think skating around is safe for them and others around them! Sheโs going to get hurt, or worse, end up doing drugs!โ Paraphrasing here, but you get the idea. She asks why these โgang bangersโ arenโt arrested yet. I inform her that our police force is tolerant of it and that in fact multiple members of the police own and use skateboards in certain areas of the campus instead of a Segway or walking. (Really chill cops btw).
Finally, after a bit of back and forth, the mother looks at me and says, โI refuse to allow my daughter to go to this school! What do you think of that?โ
My response, โIโm sorry to hear that maโam, but having just one student who was accepted drop will not harm this school in any manner. Instead, it will allow for someone who is wait listed the opportunity to attend. To some people, this is their dream school, to others, this is just a school. Whomever gets the spot of your daughter, may become the happiest person out there because they are now afforded the chance at an education at a school in which they willingly stayed on the wait list.โ
She didnโt like that, reported me to my boss, boss does this whole charade of โdonโt do shit like thatโ in front of the mother. Moment mother walks off, boss goes โgood job! Fk herโ
AncientBelle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, if she's saying this in front of wait listed people, fuck her. I mean, fuck her in general, but especially in front of that group.
IlluminationRock ยท 475 points ยท Posted at 20:53:53 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Walked up behind them, looked like a woman. Referred to them as "miss".
They turned around and all I could see was their heavy stubble. I live in the PNW, so you see this kind of a lot... But it was still super weird.
metyuadem ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 21:34:54 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never thought there would be a scenario in which I preferred a man bun.
FRUIT_FETISH ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:19:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember seeing a comment similar to this, where the commenter was a waitress. She walked up to a table and said, "What can I get you ladies?" But then noticed they were in fact not both ladies, so she said, "Oops, sorry, I thought from behind that you were a woman."
Customer replies with, "I am a woman."
KennstDuCuntsDew ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:28:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuuuuck.
cautiondrypaint ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:55:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've gotten called miss or whatever feminine noun on many occasion, I just take it as a compliment on my fabulous hair
Captain_Shrug ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:05:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a guy with long hair, I'm pretty used to this one. Though here it's usually old folk/asian folk who call me a woman, for some reason.
jokes_for_nerds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:00:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In all honesty they're probably just trying to be polite. The "miss vs m'am" thing. Calling an "older" woman m'am was a fast way to a verbal altercation back in the day.
Now we're using Mx and such but I digress
DBerwick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:39:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
who's 'we'?
jokes_for_nerds ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:44:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean it literally. I meant "we" as a society. The "English-speaking world," if you will.
I've yet to see it "in the wild," but I've read or listened to some interesting pieces about it recently.
It might just stick out in my memory because part of my profession involves accounting for all choices that a consumer might want to make.
Can't go excluding a whole market segment because "Mr" denotes that they are head of household, "Ms" has the connotation of unmarried woman, and "N/A" is exclusionary.
Captain_Shrug ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:28:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell is "Mx?"
jokes_for_nerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:33:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mx_(title)
Captain_Shrug ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yanno, I'm going to catch flak for this I bet, but by -god- this strikes me as stupid and artificial.
Willeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's just because you're not used to it. All words and titles are artificial. You ever think twice about saying 'okay', or 'Kleenex' or 'selfie'?
jokes_for_nerds ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 04:47:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I agree. But I'm American, where we find extraneous letters attached to the name your parents gave you to be, as you said, "stupid and superficial."
I hear it's much more of a perceived social issue in the UK, where some of my coworkers originate. In the spirit of open-mindedness I do not pass judgement.
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jokes_for_nerds ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 06:22:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The differences between how we think about "titles" in The States vs in the United Kingdom? Where'd you lose the thread?
I want to be helpful but it seems as if you're being intentionally difficult.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:27:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jokes_for_nerds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yikes. It's not intentional. I'm as American as apple pie so I just choose the blank option. But while consulting for foreign companies I've had to listen to the whole "honorific debate." Just something I've observed.
ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jokes_for_nerds ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:46:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a phrase. I give up. I really had no intention of arguing the point as "true." Just something other people had said to me.
alexxerth ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:10:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a guy, with short hair, kinda on the tall side, deep-ish voice, basically I'm trying to say I'm pretty hard to confuse for a chick.
Had some guy at starbucks call me "Ma'am" like 5 times. Still don't know what was up with that.
IdislikeSpiders ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to me with my girlfriend several times, my hair was past my shoulders. My favorite was the girl who gave us our first round on the house. I gave her a fat tip, cause I really wasn't offended and her mortified reaction was humorous.
PunnyBanana ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had the opposite happen. A couple walked in. It was winter and they were wearing similar coats/hats. They were also similar heights and the wife had short hair. I walked up to who I thought was the husband, said sir, and ended up with a pissed off, self conscious female customer.
SalamandrAttackForce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an androgynous looking music teacher, with an androgynous family. They all had the same curly hair worn in a fro and unisex clothes. Like they must have bought 4 pairs of the same clothes in various sizes whenever they went shopping. She had a son and a daughter. She brought one of her kids to work one day. A student was like "It was nice to meet your son today!" To which she responds, "That's my daughter"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:30:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This has to be Portland
Masonzero ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow this legit happened to me. Like 6 months ago maybe my hair was fairly long and I was in Fred Meyer in Portland, standing in line at the register, and a guy says โHey miss, this lane is openโ, then I turn around as a man with heavy stubble and he says โoh, sorry, sir!โ. It was funny, I felt bad for him. My hair was kinda long, and I have a slim figure anyways, so I had it coming.
TalisFletcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where's PNW? All I can think of is Papua New Guinea which we often shorten to PNG (that and Portable Network Graphic, my favourite lossy image file format).
ChanSecodina ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pacific Northwest (of the United States). Basically Washington, Oregon and Idaho if you're feeling inclusive.
lilsmudge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly; your safest bet is to find gender neutral terms in customer service. Not just for PC reasons, and because you honestly never know, but also to save yourself (and your customer) the embarrassment. Just a loud โexcuse me!โ Or โhey there!โ Will fill in most miss/maโam/sir situations.
RAWR19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had the exact opposite happen. In my defense, she was dressed like a dude. Short hair, baggy-ish shirt, baseball cap. She was turned away. I just kept calling โsirโ until she finally turned around and said Iโm a woman. Wasnโt mad and said it happens a lot. I was mortified.
SirSqueakington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Easy fix, don't assume. I get called 'ma'am' all the goddamn time and it gets exhausting.
11415142513152119 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do too. Just roll with it you're probably never gonna see that person again.
OriginalIronDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long hair here, too, and a similar situation. Was sitting at a table in a bar with my then girlfriend and a couple of her friends, and a guy came up from behind the ex and I, and asked me if I wanted to dance. I told him that I didnโt think I was his type. The ex was pissy afterwards, and her friend called her out on it: โDonโt be mad at Dan; itโs not his fault he has prettier hair than you.โ Ex was not amused. The rest of us thought it was hilarious!
shikauchi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just say miss..... ter.
Or go genderless, "your holiness"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Roomie has long hair. Has been called ma'am multiple times when seen from behind.
ggravendust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened to my boyfriend ALL the time when he had long hair. He said he once went into a store with one of his previous female friends that was fairly attractive (don't worry, she's not a threat lol) and one of the staff asked if "you ladies need any help". TWICE. He thinks it was some weird vengeance for being with a pretty girl. I think he was probably just kind of a twink at the time.
matthewtheninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never happened in person but I get called ma'am all the time over the phone because I guess my voice is high. Especially with those Indian cell center types that probably have trouble differentiating between male and female English names (just guessing because that's how I am with Indian names). I usually never mention it and maybe just try speaking a bit deeper, but I had one lady call me ma'am several times and it annoyed me and I had to tell her I was a man. She still kept calling me ma'am.
In_between_minds ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:24:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked retail there was a time I also had long hair, when I got the "miss" or "ma'am" I'd just turn around, a single eyebrow raised and not say a word for the briefest of moments, and judge how to proceed based on their reaction.
mstarrbrannigan ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the south and saw someone the other day. From the back, with the tight pants tucked into the boots and the flowing long hair, they looked like a basic white bitch. From the front, they looked like a potbellied old rocker dude.
The best part was, when I saw the guy, I mentioned him to my friend, describing him basically as I did above, and he said, "Oh, I think I know him." Turned around, sure enough, it was his acquaintance.
Adaur981 ยท -15 points ยท Posted at 03:07:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it does happen up there, but they deserve it. :)
Colorcolours ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 02:05:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a donut shop,
Group of college kids came in and ordered. Finishing the transaction and I say "that will be $10.40 ma'am...sir" without thinking. Couldn't tell if it the person paying was a guy or girl so both slipped out. A guy in the group says "you were right on the first one". I hung my head in shame.
SlugsAreCute ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish we had a gender neutral term of respect in English, so you wouldn't have to guess.
jivedinmypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:23 on April 2, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Since we go by "Customer is Always Right" we may as well call them "Your Majesty" by now.
earthgirl225 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 15:20:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To avoid this in the future you can just say "please" when unsure of a person's gender or gender identity.
martinlee07 ยท 357 points ยท Posted at 21:43:48 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a Pizza place, a woman comes in to pickup a carryout order. While waiting on the pizza I asked, "How far along are you?" She wasn't pregnant.
uschwell ยท 341 points ยท Posted at 00:16:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhat relevant story-had a friend who was very obviously pregnant (skinny so she looked like she had a basketball shoved under her shirt). She got a huge laugh by: whenever someone would say to her "congratulations when is it due" she would put on this puppy face and tearfully say "what? Why would you say that? Are you saying im fat?"
She had the best poker face while she did this.....
onedietpoopcola ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:39:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always wanted to do this while I was pregnant but, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep a straigjt face.
uschwell ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:08:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the joke never got old-we'd be helping her shop or walk, some little old lady would inevitably make a comment and she would do her thing-the backpedaling was amazing
Captain_Hampockets ยท 602 points ยท Posted at 23:13:27 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ, man. Unless she has a fucking baby head hanging out of her panties, never insinuate pregnancy.
funforallages ยท 298 points ยท Posted at 23:52:38 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even then, you don't know for sure how the baby got there.
-Knightwing- ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:39:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always see these comments that say something along the lines of "thanks for making me look like an idiot in a public space for laughing my ass off" and scoff because they're probably exaggerating but you just made me do exactly that.
Bleached-indigo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
-JWS- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
( อ ยฐ อส อ ยฐ)
nomoredarkness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:27:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The baby was told there were extra fish in the backroom, and decided to investigate.
Totally_not_Zool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You could drown a toddler in my panties"
Fearnall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pam?
Totally_not_Zool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
TUBE___CITY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:55:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
BITCH I SNUCK IN THE CLUB
stefanica ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:53:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL. My favorite was when I was 41+ weeks pregnant, and wandering around an antique shop looking at baby stuff, trying to stimulate labor, and to the chatty owner I mentioned that I was about to drop a kid any minute. The owner said, "Oh, wow, I thought you were just fat." You could almost see him extract the foot from his mouth. :D
TechniChara ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I never understood this. You're not supposed to assume we're pregnant (even if it's super obvious), but you still have to make a judgement call as to whether to give up the reserve seats on public transport?
Lolawolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:40:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How far along are you?" would still be a dumb question.
toastypost ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:03:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty FUCKING close
ashessnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I still remember the time when I was a child and my mom asked if the waitress was pregnant.
Omg.
BadlyCoded ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:20:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of something I said. A female coworker of mine was pregnant ( she told everyone ). I had to leave the country for a few months, but when I came back I ran into her and she looked like she had progressed through the pregnancy. I asked another female coworker when she was due. She had the baby 2 months ago.
Autarch_Kade ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:51:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"haha I'm eating for two now!"
gains 80 pounds
Socialistrevolt24 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She ate the baby?
sykopoet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:08:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A (distant) family member said this to my mom at a family reunion. My mom says "I'm not pregnant, I'm just FAT." Family member basically crawled away in embarrassment.
Purretzel ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:21:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get mistaken as being pregnant a lot because of the way I carry my weight. I am not fat by any means by my belly is a bit rounder (especially after i eat) on my small frame.
Never assume someone is pregnant. It is very hurtful. I actually had a customer once poke me in the belly and ask me "What's this?" As his way of asking once. The point is unless they bring it up dont.
margotgo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:54:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ewww what the fuck, why do people think it's okay to touch a stranger that way, pregnant or otherwise?
Badmotorfinglonger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tacky.
PurpleSailor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The Forbidden Question
mssexyfarts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On the other side, I have carried all my children very small so was always pumped when someone asked how far along I was. I got tired of the normal, 'but you're so small' comments. Or the even better, 'you're so little is your baby healthy?!' comments. Ignore the"never ask" rule, and simply follow your gut.
Willy988 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:19:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mom said this to a fat person today hahaha
rapi187 ยท 168 points ยท Posted at 20:54:20 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked, "Can I help you sir?" It was really a woman with a thick mustache.
pictonbug ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:05:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Saw a woman with a thick moustache once. Cue my sister blurting out "MOM IS THAT A GIRL OR A BOY?"
zerovin ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 08:41:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, I see she must have studdied under Profesor Oak
fenwig ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:36:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thiccc
girr0ckss ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At this point I just leave off honorifics until I've interacted with a person so I avoid this.some older people get upset, but idk if that upsets them other stuff will too
cautiondrypaint ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get called a gal for having long hair occasionally, this double standard is unfair
MyNameIsNotRyn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:57:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tried to hold back a laugh while reading this. I ended up making a sound like a balloon losing air.
Enjoy your upvote.
ggravendust ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a teenage girl but I'm cursed with a highschool boy-esque pubestache unfortunately if i don't bleach or pluck it once a week. I feel this may happen to me in the future. :(
Courwes ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 00:18:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Its not going to happen and I'm not going to keep arguing with you about it. We will see you ____" Click
Laughing at them when they start screaming and cursing into the phone then hanging up on them.
Used to happen like once a week. Thank god I do not have to talk to customers anymore.
pooburry ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 02:45:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to just mute them so they thought I hung up but I could still listen.
MonkeyDavid ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 05:25:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar to this, my mom and my sister both answered the home phone at the same time. When my sister realized it was a telemarketer, she hung up. The salesman heard the click, and my mom got to hear him say โGod, I hate this job.โ
pumpyfrontbum ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:42:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hahaha. I love this. You can absolutely tell that person went batshit crazy when you hung up.
ifap2impress ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 04:49:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bagging groceries at 16. Meant to ask if lady would like her milk bagged. Just started smoking pot and came into work high.
"Ma'am, would you like me to milk your bags?"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ifap2impress ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:04:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. But not because of this.
TheNASAUnicorn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
bad_at_hearthstone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:34:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He got fired for something else
TheNASAUnicorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:44:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Go on.....
StripedSausage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL'd hard
ACNordstrom11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Were they big or was she hawt?
OriginsOfSymmetry ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 01:47:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is a situation I have mentioned before but it was a shouldn't have said that moment for sure. In this situation I was the customer
"I have never responded well to random uncomfortable news. Once when I was in college I was getting a haircut and asked how the stylist's day was going. She said her day was going well but her dog died the night before. Without thinking I said "think of all the money you'll save on dog food". Instant regret. It's one of those things that pops into my head randomly as I try to sleep at night."
I_AM_PLUNGER ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:44:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think I remember reading this the first time, and itโs just as cringy and hilarious the second
OriginsOfSymmetry ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:22:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am glad you could enjoy my internal suffering.
ronin1066 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:45:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine you just removing the poncho and walking right out the door.
OriginsOfSymmetry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:38:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was frozen by my own stupidity.
Nevermind04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh noooo. The cringe physically hurts.
kingu_kururu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bzzzt! "Think of all the money you'll save on shampoo!"
pinkoreocookie ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 02:19:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This wasnโt me, it was my coworker.
A man and his wife come into target shortly after targetโs new bathroom ruling, โuse the bathroom whoโs gender you identify withโ.
The man angrily comes up to us as his wife uses the restroom and says โare you still allowing disgusting people into the womenโs restroom?โ
My coworkers immediate response โwhy, are you trying to go in there?โ
He turned purple and stalked back to the restroom door to make sure no one went in I guess.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 07:30:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
man this gender hysteria is really blwoing up in america isnt it ?
AlabasterButthole ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:53:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing.
hpotter29 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Well, your wife looked pretty desperate. . ."
MakroYianni ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 01:41:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked in a call center a guy called in screaming at me about a game that was blacked out in his area. He felt that because he paid for the NBA League pass he should be able to see anything he wanted, I told him that I agreed but unfortunately we couldn't do anything about blackouts. He proceeded to berate me for another 5 minutes and finally I said "look man, I just work here" he lost his fucking mind, screamed at me in what I assume was Arabic and then hung up. My supervisor was over shoulder and fortunately was really cool about it but I thought I was fucked.
[deleted] ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 04:24:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
archa1c0236 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:53:43 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At lest you were professional about it
dezrat ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 05:38:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a sandwich shop, one time a customer flipped his shit about the meatballs being cold. W/e we comp it and move on.
He comes back next day and pulls the same shenanigans. He ate almost the entire sandwich and came up to me. I looked him dead in the eye "So you're telling me, the meatballs that are currently 185ยฐ are cold?" To which he replied "yes, they're freezing, how can you know they're so hot!" I lifted up the tray of meatballs with steam rolling off of them and showed him the thermometer. "Well you apparently don't have any qualms about shoving 'cold' balls in your mouth"
The dude threw a third of a meatball sub at me, the owner kicked him out, and almost wet herself laughing. It was a good day.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 21:05:37 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear a lot. :\
I mean, I'm in Australia, so mostly it's ok. But some people are silly about it.
metyuadem ยท 161 points ยท Posted at 21:35:55 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's it, I'm going to fucking Australia!
jacthedead ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:22:14 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry you need to finish every sentence with the word cunt to come to Australia, cunt.
metyuadem ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:59:51 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you, cunt.
Gebraheel ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What if I'm just saying "cunt" as a single word? Do I need to add cunt to the end or does that count as having it at the end?
"Cunt... cunt."
metyuadem ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:54:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who says cunt as a single word?
_furioushamster ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:45:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunts.
mmmmChocolate ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:35:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunts cunt* Cunt
youhaveafuture ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:09:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's only acceptable if it's really drawn out. Like "cuuuuuuuunt".
Captain_Shrug ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:04:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me, quite often, under my breath when customers are leaving.
Gebraheel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:41:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me, and anyone else using it to describe someone else but without the willingness to expend the energy required to make it a complete sentence.
jacthedead ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty much every Australian
StrugglingGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do, everyday. Several times.
It's amazing what language becomes second nature when you've been on drill rigs for any amount of time... and how many uses there are for the words "cunt" and "fuck"
Chinkie_Winkie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
Gebraheel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:28:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY, cunt.
Sq33KER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt isn't actually a word, it's a suffix.
Gebraheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
... not sure if troll or joke.
calculus_was_tough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait a minute, I have to say cunt even if the sentence ends with the word cunt?
Gebraheel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's kinda what I'm curious about.
calculus_was_tough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I was making a stupid Family Guy reference.
"Wait a minute, I have to say over even if the sentence ends with the word over?" "If the sentence ends with the word what, Brian? Over."
Gebraheel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Now I remember the episode.
Kiausican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You will generally just add words to make it a sentence, like "Fucking cunt sticks."
Glutepootchutelover ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:17:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try "Cheers, cunt" it flows better
TonyStark100 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:31:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to Australia fucking!
metyuadem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend in high school used to move "fuck" around in sentences too. What's up Karen?
luke10050 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:26:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck off cunt, we're fuckin' full
(Just kidding but wanted to one-up you with the swearing)
metyuadem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lovely! And don't apologise right away, it makes me think you're Canadian.
luke10050 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Born here but I may as well be judging by how much I apologise
AmNotSatan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, you're in celibate Australia.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
take away 'ing'
metyuadem ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:23:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You want me to fuck all of the Australians? Or just the continent itself. Like dig a hole and pound away?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
whatever youre into
metyuadem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:35:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No dirt for me thanks.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:08:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i respect your decision, weirdo
kongu3345 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:24:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You should try Fucking, Austria first
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's it, I'm going to fuck Australia!
jailin66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The fuck you waiting for cunt?
metyuadem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:57:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, I can't afford that airfare.
SuperMarketSushi ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:27:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in the US and at work I'm usually good at catching myself before I actually swear. So a lot of times I'll say something like "Shhhhh... ugar".
I've had customers try to complain to my managers because I said sugar.
bradorsomething ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:42:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Diabetes is a real problem, man.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:31:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gosh, people are dumb.
OriginalIronDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone shushed me on Friday because I said โcrap.โ
khitsule ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where in Australia? When I moved from central QLD to Brisbane it became really obvious how much I swear... even when I'm making a conscious effort to be appropriate I end up swearing
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Brissy. Haha ๐
Buddhamama50 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:29:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian mum here. The rule in the house is "Only Mummy is allowed to swear". Despite this, I still heard my 7yo call his big bother a "fuck-knuckle" when he thought I wasn't listening. They got that one from their dad.
crixux27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:47:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My best mates got a 2 yrold and hes startin to talk a bit now, his missus is right on us blokes about the swearin whenever were all together and sinkin a few tinnies. It gets BAD. Im waitin for him to come out with some fuckin beauties because theres a few of us blokes he hangs out with and he loves to copy us all. Were all pretty bad on the language too if we dont pay attention being tradesmen and not working in retail.
Buddhamama50 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:51:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can swear like a trouper - but yeah I've worked retail so I learned to turn it down. Your best mate will be hauled in by the Kindy teacher in 3 years time and told off :) :)
(But it IS really funny to hear little kids swear...)
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:50:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a rule that if they hear me say it, they can say it. Yeah, didn't think that through too well. Oh well. They're a pair of little fuckers anyway.
jokes_for_nerds ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:02:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my line of work this is a sign of authenticity.
The problems are fucking frustrating! You apologize for letting a F-bomb slip, but very few people truly care. They'll just chide you amicably about it.
luke10050 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:29:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Are you by any chance in a trade?
jokes_for_nerds ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:36:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, but I grew up around "tradesmen" and worked in one at an early age.
You'd be surprised how readily tradespeoples' communication skills translate to white collar professions. We don't want to be here either. It just happens to be what we're good at and pays the bills.
the_magic_pudding ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:22:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also in Australia: I use swearing to help hospital patients feel relaxed. Stressed out old fella? Throw in the odd 'shit' or 'crap' and he feels right at home. Stressed out young folk? Throw in the odd whispered, conspiratorial 'fuck' and you become best mates on an adventure together. We are a strange people.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's awesome! :D
I really love this story.
justhereforthepupper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Got a new job lately where I'm not allowed to cuss anymore. That has been the hardest adjustment I've ever had to make.
Instead of "you're a fucking idiot" it's "I don't know if that'll work." This shit is terrible.
BackstrokeBitch ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:13:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear to my coworkers a lot since where I work is inside and the customers are outside and away from us. Other day I called a girl a royal cunt basket and told her if she didn't shut the hell up I would wax her eyebrows.
RCIfan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:25:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love Australians use of swearing. They use it just the right times. All my professors here don't care about using it, which is very different from the US.
bitchkitty818 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'm constantly replaying the conversation in my head trying to remember if I've sworn to the customer or not.
Makyahyeah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But some people are cunts. FTFY
Old_man_at_heart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:38:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm interested in your username. Cam Girl is self explanatory but the BillieRuben part, does that have anything to do with the liver compound bilirubin?
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:50:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's a bit of a story behind it: when my mum was pregnant with me she had a blood disorder that had something to do with bilirubin (I'm iffy on the details).
When I was born her best friend gave me a teddy bear and in my parents warped sense of humour they named him Billy Ruben.
I guess they passed the humour on to me because I use the name here.
When I started this account I had dreams of going to med school, so the name had some nice alignment. :)
I still have the teddy. He sleeps on my bed every night. My boyfriends over the years never minded. My now partner even brought his teddy out of an old box.
Now Billy and Pandy snuggle up in bed together just like us. :3
Old_man_at_heart ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:45:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's very sweet in an odd way. Glad to hear you still have it. I've got an old beat up Garfield from when I was really young.
My exe had a yellow blanket she's had since she was a very young child. It was in bed with us every night and she used it to wrap around her head whenever she had a migraine. I live in Canada, she in California and one time she cut a little piece of it off and gave it to me so I can have something that means a lot to her with me when we are away from each other. She said it was like cutting off a pets ear. Lol
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:48:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh wow! I don't think I could do that to my teddy! She must love you very very much. :)
Oh I realised I didn't tidy up one lose end in that story. I didn't end up going to med school. I decided on a double degree, both in STEM. So I'm finally studying! :D
Old_man_at_heart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good for you! I'm 31 and never really had a path in college, did a few courses here and there then just started working. Kind of feel like going back to school but it would be difficult. Glad to hear you're back on the academic path :)
Unfortunately this is all past tense, but yes she did love me very much. It's been years since I've been in a relationship but something will come along hopefully.
I must admit to feeling a little uncomfortable seeing your post about depth rotating your boyfriend after hearing a little about your childhood. Lol
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:02:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm similar! Late 20s fur me, always had to work. Did a few courses along the way too.
Finally making enough to move to part time to accommodate study. It's so freaking great. If you can find a way, do it for sure!
I'm so sorry! I don't know how I missed ex in your last! :( I'm so sorry. Didn't mean to bring up old wounds.
What makes you uncomfy?
Old_man_at_heart ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:17:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, those old wounds have scarred over so they're all fine now. Don't worry :)
I make enough to probably pull it off but I live in an expensive area and taking time off work may not financially work out. I'd still like to try though.
Good question with a few valid answers to it. I'd say having 5 nieces and thinking of them making a similar post to yours is probably the biggest reason. Also, a general lack of experience may be a factor as I've only been with that one person.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:29:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad they're not wound-y anymore!
Give it a go. If it doesn't work, well, don't go back the next semester. :)
I guess this only applies if you think that expressing my sexuality in such a way was a bad thing to do. I'm unashamed of it, myself.
Old_man_at_heart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:36:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No of course I don't. I'm just generally uncomfortable with expressing it and don't like the idea of my nieces growing up. All my own issues, no judgement towards you at all.
No, not wound-y anymore. Thanks :)
The problem with going back to school is that I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Lol.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:44:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kids are made to grow. :)
Maybe just pick something broad? Narrow it down as you get more exposed to things.
Old_man_at_heart ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:49:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is true.
Yeah. I should probably dive into it and figure things out from there.
This has been a pretty good conversation. I should probably go to bed, it's getting late on this side of the world.
Glad to have me you :)
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You too! Feel free to chat tomorrow!
Sleep well.
DarkDreamer1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:37:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yet another reason for me to move to Australia for a year!
son_of_Khaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honesty. It's not always the best policy.
BillieRubenCamGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm?
son_of_Khaos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oops sorry wrong person.
WolfiePatronus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear too much. I once had a mystery shopper report me because I swore under my breath when I dropped a tray on my foot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. I'm a kiwi so it's pretty normal, but when most people first meet me they always think I'm pissed off about something and keep their distance. Actually I'm chill as fuck.
emojiibro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:25:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
bro, aussie swearing has nothing on your bros just over here, nz, we swear like sailors over here lol. nobody gives a shit if i swear at them and im 16
[deleted] ยท 319 points ยท Posted at 21:19:26 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bezere ยท 114 points ยท Posted at 03:13:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nice that you gave them some privacy
Deveecee ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:46:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yikes... Happy cake day!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:40:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bow chika wow wow
Heisenberg187 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a pedo.
michgilgar ยท 339 points ยท Posted at 20:51:40 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Disney. Once told a guest that my toddler likes going to the parks, so I'm trying to take him as often as possible now that it's free so that he'll be sick of it when he's older.
LoserOtakuNerd ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:37:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love going to Disney and honestly Iโd laugh if I was told this by someone working there.
Attention_Defecit ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 03:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno, that's seems like a reasonable strategy to me.
Chinkie_Winkie ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 03:31:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What's wrong with that, other than it being personal life information to a stranger?
gurg2k1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:57:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It kind of implies that the park is a shitty place to be and/or overpriced.
michgilgar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 17:45:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't look good for the 'disney brand' for a cast member to say such things. It could actually get you fired.
bearpony ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 01:29:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I meant to tell the customers that it was time to close up the store so they should finish up their business quickly, and my job encouraged a cheery, joking, casual tone. So I said,
"All right everyone, let's get our close on!"
Didn't catch the homophone until it slipped out of my mouth.
Beccabooisme ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 04:44:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I fumble all the time. Just today i called a customer letting him know his item was in, and at the end of the call said "alright, thanks for coming i- well i guess you're not in right now"
I'll greet people "thank you for calling... ahh you're right in front of me"
GirlWhoWrites2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:14:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad worked at WalMart when I was a kid. On numerous occasions he'd answer our home phone "Sporting Goods and Automotive!"
I worked at a call center as a teen. Was ending a phonecall with my dad when I was on break one day. I ended it with "Thanks for calling, sir! Have a great day!" I stared at my phone for a full minute after hanging up.
Autopilot is a helluva drug.
OriginalIronDan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:48:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve answered the phone at two different jobs as another place. The second call was from one of my bosses.
kingu_kururu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a law office and once answered the phone "LA Times" despite never having worked there in my life.
I can only guess it was from reading the office paper earlier in the day.
wolfmonkey89 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 04:45:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an independent movie theater. Owner is real hard core about no outside food and drink. Took some food from some people once and they followed me out yelling about it. We have about 10 signs between front door and auditorium that say no outside food and drink. Lady kept calling me a dick for taking food from their kids so I said atleast I can read and went upstairs to booth.
Amazi0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:50:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I mean that is honestly a dick move, I don't always follow something just because it's on a sign
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Sid? Because you're:
VICIOUS
Lyn1987 ยท 265 points ยท Posted at 00:46:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my Christ reddit I have so many from when I worked
the devilComcast. While working at the retail center I dealt with all sorts of abuse. I'm talking people swearing, spitting, threatening us (we have called the cops), everything. One woman even took a dump on the floor. After awhile of this level of insanity you begin to stop giving a fuck and push back a little when people get irate.I have several stories in no particular order of the absurdity I had to deal with
My first week on the job a morbidly obese woman comes into the store and is irate about because we shut off her service. As I'm reading the details on her account all while she's screaming with such a raspy voice I was surprised she didn't have a stoma, "I pay my bill every month! I pay every month, look at my account". I look at the account and indeed she's paying every month. $50. On a bill that totals $156 and change. Plus she's getting hit with late fees every month which at Comcast isn't a flat rate, it's a percentage of the amount you owe. So between the partial payments and the late fees that act like compound interest, her bill is in the $500 range. I explain this to her as calmly as I can before she starts screaming about being stabbed. "I was in the hospital! I got stabbed, I got stabbed. Look!" She shows me a long scar on her arm, that indeed looks like she's been stabbed, but that doesn't change the fact that she hasn't paid a full bill in six months. After listening to that chorus for a full minute I finally snap "Every month? Ma'am where do you live so I know to never go there". She stormed out.
White working class man comes to the store and immediately launches into a tirade about how we doubled his bill overnight. Smelling bullshit I pull up his account and sure enough he hasn't made a payment in 7 weeks. I try to explain this to him and he's obstinate "How can you explain my bill doubling" and I respond back "Lets be real, you haven't paid in two months" My use of the phrase "Lets be real" is what set him off even further. "I don't like your attitude why don't you go work for Wendy's" He kept on and on, but he paid the full balance so fuck him I won.
Woman comes in contesting an outstanding balance she has. After looking at the account I notice that a self install kit was sent to her house three months ago. I ask about it and she tells me she never set it up so she shouldn't have to pay the balance. "Ma'am why did you wait four months to return the equipment?" She replies, "The UPS guy dropped it off on my porch and I didn't notice it. It's not my fault". I push further, "If you didn't notice it why didn't you call up and ask where your package was? Why didn't you use the tracking number?" She replies again that her porch is cluttered and she didn't notice it during the winter. Again, not her fault. So I summarize the situation for her. "So you ordered services, had the equipment delivered to your house, didn't notice the box, and waited 3 months to come here..." She nods several times, "...and this is our fault?" To her credit, she had the decency to not argue the point anymore after I said that.
I have so many more than these. Let me know if you want to hear more.
Edit: Since you guys asked so nicely
Taxes are the bane of my existence. They're not explained well to customers and in my state, they can end up being an extra $35 on your cable bill depending on what you have. So towards the evening this woman comes in with her daughter irate about her bill. She's just been kicked into second year pricing which is $25 per month more than what she originally signed for. She demands to have the bill lowered and I explain that there's nothing I can do. Comcast's billing system is designed to punish customers for trying to save money. Triple play customers who try to drop down a channel tier lose their promotional pricing. Customers who try to drop the phone will be put in a-la-carte pricing for the tv and internet. Either way, the bill is going to increase. She's not happy with this answer and demands that I lower her bill. So I start going through the charges to show her where she can save money. She refuses to drop channels or boxes, and at finally starts nit picking over taxes. pointing to my monitor she yells out "What is this shit? You mean I have to pay $23 in taxes every month!?" I lose my temper and shoot back "Yes! God Bless Connecticut! You pay $23 a month in taxes." The entire store went silent and I could see a bunch of people, including her kid trying to hide their laughter.
I get a customer who's pissed off because theirs now a $10/month modem charge on his bill. Turns out two years ago he was using a shitty third party modem, and when the technician came and replaced it with one of our modems, he entered it as a third party device. So the customer was using our equipment for two years, but wasn't charged. Unfortunately all good things must come to an end and Revenue Assurance found out about this and changed the codes on his account. Once RA makes a change we can't undo it. This guy is going nuclear. Not only is he demanding a credit (lol tough shit) but he's demanding his old modem back. As if we have it just sitting in the back with his name on it. He is honest to god screaming now "where's my modem! I want my modem!." I get fed up and tells him "It's probably on the bottom of a landfill in New Jersey, we don't have it, it's been two years!"
3_HeavyDiaperz ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:36:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping for the story about someone dropping a deuce on the floor
timetravelwasreal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Same.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:25:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please post more!
AllHarlowsEve ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:58:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh God, reading this, I knew it had to be the shithole that is CT.
Wasn't wrong.
revanisthesith ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was the "$35 in taxes" that got me thinking of CT as a likely location. Thankfully I've never lived there.
TitSweatTacoSauce ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:45:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. More please.
Subscribe.
Shadilaybrethren ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You mean rolled out?
feralkitten3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please give me more.
ReggieHarley ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
beautiful! I would read a whole book of Comcast CS horror stories and snarky heroes
OrCurrentResident ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tbf a Comcast employee doesnโt actually have the right to complain about...anything.
dwgirl10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, please
TVLL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, to be fair, it was Comcast.
AlabasterButthole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
These are just pure gold.
[deleted] ยท 199 points ยท Posted at 00:10:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
StrugglingGhost ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 03:21:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, not even then. Unless you've seen the child emerge or the mother carrying the child in her arms, NEVER discuss a woman's pregnancy.
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 03:23:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Quicily ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 03:51:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Then it's "wait, you just thought I was fat???" Saying congratulations is usually a safe bet though.
Emro08 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Never ever comment on her size. Ever.
MoreSore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. She could have kidnapped the said child and would be embarrassed that you assumed her being pregnant prior to her robbing someone's baby.
mattkenny ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were at a meeting with a funeral director trying to organise my wife's Nan's funeral. The director asked my wife when she was due. Nope, we are both just fat.
SlugsAreCute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Damn! They're supposed to be the most tactful people ever (since hurt feelings+grief are way worse than just hurt feelings) so I'm shocked they fell into that classic blunder.
Tuutori ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You would think this is self explanatory but it really isn't. I once congratulated my good friend for the "unexpected news". She wasn't pregnant. But thinking about the time, I would still be fooled. I wasn't even second guessing. I was dead sure.
yutgu_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:25:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Even then... Best not to take the chance.
SlugsAreCute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:51:23 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly, even talking about how healthy their food choices are is risky. Could be someone with an eating disorder, or social anxiety that makes them uncomfortable being the focus of attention. Maybe mention the food in a vague way like "The oranges are sure nice this week eh!?" but not in a judgmental way.
clutchheimer ยท 373 points ยท Posted at 23:43:50 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at GNC we had this product called, no shit, Herbal Grobust. This woman came in and picked it up and asked me how much it is, I said:
Its free if you let me rub it on you.
What the eff was I thinking! The best part, a few days later she came back and brought her ranger husband. She pointed at me, he came over (I was about to shit my pants) and said:
That was some funny shit, dude!
Talk about relief. Still, one of the dumbest things I have ever said, given context.
MrDoctorProfessorWho ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 01:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's my favorite one so far in this thread! That must have been a surreal moment.
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 03:24:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
clutchheimer ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:25:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, exactly what it advertised. And me being the best brother in history bought some for my sister on her 16th birthday. She was, shall we say, pretty pissed about that gift.
haha
TheKakeMaster ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 03:53:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you get to rub it on her?
The740 ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 04:13:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Roll Tide
clutchheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No. Totally lame. She was seriously MILFy.
Merry_Pippins ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:17:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Her husband was Aragon?
clutchheimer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:22:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
He was a ranger of the Fort Lewis variety, rather than the New York or Texas (or Gondor) ilk.
Merry_Pippins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, Fort Lewis!
Vaderesque ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, he was Aragorn...
shuttheshadshackdown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bust-Must Plus..."you girls look like you could use some of this"
clutchheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That is some ultra smooth pick up right there.
Eliju ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:46:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Big dude comes over with the bottle and tells you start rubbing. โNot her...me.โ
clutchheimer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:10:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
SIR YES SIR!
Wilberella ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 02:12:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was waitressing, someone walked up to me and said "Do you know where the bathroom is?" and I said "No, I've been looking for it for 3 years now, if you find it let me know"
chickenofsoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:15 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, we shit in the woods like bears!
bootyholeminer ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 01:25:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a liquor store. A 35ish year old woman in comes in to buy a 6 pack of bourbon & coke. One can fell out onto the ground and she picked it up, we had a chuckle.
I told her she should give that shaken up can that fell to her partner, she said she doesn't have one. I awkwardly took her money and felt bad when she left.
Arklelinuke ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:14:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Might have been able to mine her bootyhole if you had played your cards right after getting that response lol
sotheresthisdude ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school and after I worked at a local funeral home. I was helping set up for a man's funeral and a family member notices a wet spot building near the groin of the dead guy. basically part of the body was leaking fluid as someone didn't do their job right. I was extremely nervous as I usually just washed cars and cleaned restrooms. I blurt out "when ya gotta go, ya gotta go."
StripedSausage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:47:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahha
nuclearbastard ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 06:10:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A coworker at a call center for an Internet service provider's tech support got this one. He was verbally walking her through a complex procedure over the phone. He knew exactly what she was seeing as he was doing this (we were good at our job), and the customer asked "Are you able to see what's on my screen?"
He joked "Yes. And that is a lovely pink bathrobe you're wearing!"
She was wearing a pink bathrobe. And the front happened to be opened a bit and her boobs were partially exposed.
Swaguley ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 00:01:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a testing center and told a man in a wheelchair that he could, "just roll on in there" while I was finishing checking him in.
mattador_actual ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 00:28:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was doing retail sales and was helping a vet in a wheelchair. He asked if we had a military discount. I said "no we don't have a standing discount for veterans unfortunately."
I realized what I said, and luckily he laughed as I awkwardly apologized for my jackassery.
juicydeucy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:18:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At least you didnโt accidentally say that he could just walk on in there.
ithinkmynameismoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well he wasn't going to fucking walk...
Phantasor ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:50:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a manager at a movie theatre. We had a projector break down right as the movie was about to start. Being a kids movie, there was a large crowd of upset parents. One of the more irate dads is yelling at me and says "You're the one who has to tell my 5 year old son that he can't watch his movie". In my head I'm thinking "Well, I don't know your kid or care about him at all... so..." That's when I bent down and calmly told this child "You can't watch the movie". The father was not happy.
clothy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:13:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm collecting trolleys at the moment as a means to an end. The amount of people who swarm me like seagulls to get a trolley astounds me. One day I just brought in a rack and the customers started to try and take them off me (despite the fact that they are tied together). I stopped and told them all to give me space so I could put them away. They were annoyed but they did. I put the trolleys away. Then I said โOkay seagulls you can have them now.โ
diegoNT ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:38:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at a Butcher shop. We used to sell bags of bones for dogs and we regularly had people coming in looking for Dog Bones. Anyway this regular came in and asked 'Any Dog Bones' and one of the older butchers from the back yelled out 'nah only beef and lamb bones sorry'. The whole place broke down in laughter and i thought to myself, I'll have to remember that one.
So about an hour later a customer, an acquaintance from my school days comes in, comes in, asks for if we have any Dog Bones, so i reply 'Nah only Beef and Lamb bones'.
There was an awkward silence, he looked me straight in the eye and said 'go fuck yourself you cunt' and stormed out of the store.
It took me a few seconds to realise that maybe that joke wasn't the best to play on an asian person.
EyeAmTheVictor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get this one. Maybe you did something to him when you were school acquaintances?
greenbluepurple95 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The bones are not the bones of a dog. There is a racist stereotype about Asians eating dogs
EyeAmTheVictor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:44 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard the Chinese food is actually cats thing. I know there is that one place that eats dogs. But it never connected to think that... TIL a new racist slur...
greenbluepurple95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:14 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Koreans eat dogs, I think some/one province of China eats dog as well
this_will_go_poorly ยท 70 points ยท Posted at 03:05:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some crazy looking lady wanted โostrich cheeseโ at my Whole Foods.
I worked there briefly right after college because hurricane Katrina destroyed my first job. I matter of factly said โSomebody might be pulling your leg- you canโt have ostrich based cheese.โ โWhy not?โ โBecause cheese products are made from milk. Need a mammalโ
She looks at me all mad...โI thought the customer was always right. I want some goddam ostrich cheese... what an idiot.โ
I paused to bite my tongue but she just glared at me waiting for something to come of the conflict. So I dropped my body language to suggest she had caught me in a lie and said... โLook we both know you canโt afford it. Ostrich cheese is a delicacy. Sorta like goat caviar. Itโs too expensive to leave out on the counter. Youโll never taste it.โ
TL;dr - stoked a crazy personโs delusion because they were mean to me
ExtraCheesyPie ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:08:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't goat caviar just their droppings?
helloitsspooky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:02:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wait she wasn't mad that you said she can't afford it?
this_will_go_poorly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 16:07:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah she found the manager, who handled it much better. Said something like โso sorry but we arenโt able to carry that product.โ Lady was clearly irritable and something was off. Now that Iโm a doctor I feel bad about it. She was probably legit in need of help.
OriginalIronDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Goat caviar is delicious.
hpotter29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious (and sad). It reminds me of the old Carol Burnett sketch where she's playing the Queen of England and deliberately asking for impossible things. "We would like the Buffalo-Flavored Ice Cream."
chalupabatman643 ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 02:14:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
From age 17-18 I worked the seafood counter at an upscale grocery chain now owned by Amazon.. you know the one.
I had a regular customer, a total knockout blonde who came in every day to buy fresh cod. Eventually I worked up the courage to flirt with her, just a bit, even though English was not her first language. She was well put together and i wonโt lie I looked forward to serving her.
Now the screwup: she returned to the store after dinner hour and said โcod has wormโ. I checked it out and replied โthe worm is still moving so thatโs how you know the cod is freshโ. She just walked away. Iโll never know the future cod lady and I couldโve had.
LonglistenFirstcall ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who eats cod every day.
chalupabatman643 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 14:14:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock, and my ex-customer to name a few. The Rock eats 821 pounds of cod a year
Bibliophylum ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:34:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The one that got away....
senorgharkstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
should it have a worm though? i guess it's not unhealthy to just eat a live worm. like an earthworm
GoldCuty ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 11:00:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Many fish have worm parasites. Usually large fishing ships freez their fish till they are back in the harbour. The freezing kills the worms.
senorgharkstar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
so it shouldn't have worms... that are moving?
trekkie1701c ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 14:34:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If it's fresh fish, then it never got the freezing treatment and can still have that happen, though it's super rare.
littlered27603 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 02:41:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Female server working in a sports bar (not known for its wings, btw), waiting on a table full of hockey players. They ask what's good, and without thinking, I responded, "well, I hear we have great racks."
suprized ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 01:36:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to be kind of long...
but I used to deliver pizzas. One time I showed up at a house and they didn't come to the door. I went back to my car to get my phone to call them. Now I had been listening to stand up comedy on Pandora and when you start a phone call it pauses Pandora. So call them no answer and hang up Pandora starts playing again automatically. It's Donald Glover doing a joke about how it's weird girls have to always be worried about getting raped and he has never even thought of that happening to him. And that if someone wanted to rape him they'd have to be real sneaky about it... Like he'd be at a movie theater and he'd get up to leave and see some dude dressed as a chair run away... Okay so I go to call the customer again and this time Pandora keeps playing instead of pausing automatically. And I'm shaking my phone trying to get it to wake up so I can hang up/pause Pandora and I hear the lady say "hello" right as Donald delivers the punch line "GOD DAMN IT I JUST GOT RAPED AGAIN"........ I hear the lady say "excuse me!?" I'm in shock at this point and I just hang up the phone.
Tldr: delivering pizzas called customer not answering door. She answers phone while Pandora stand up comedy is playing and Donald glover delivers punchline "gdi I just got raped again" at that exact moment
Nevermind04 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:22:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit this is the funniest thing I have ever read on reddit and I've been here a while. It was like a perfect storm of fucked up.
suprized ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:22:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lmao thanks? 100% true story was definitely a crazy moment lol
ItsaMeRealUncleMario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:18 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did anything happen after that?
suprized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:42 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I just went back to the store and pretended like it never happened
PinupSquid ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 02:26:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a furniture store. I had a customer who was yelling at me because we didnโt have the product she wanted in stock. I told her we could order it in but she would have to prepay and it would take 4-6 weeks to come in. She flipped out and insisted we should be selling her the floor model. I explain that we canโt do that because of company policy. We frequently took orders, and if we donโt have a floor model, we donโt have any if that product to show customers, and therefore get no orders for it. She gets angry with me, yells at me about how she drove for 2 hours to get here, and that Iโm terrible at customer service. She demands my manager. I call into the stockroom, he comes out. Suddenly sheโs all sweet and quiet, and acts all nice โOh, thatโs okay! Iโll look around for something else. Itโs too bad she couldnโt tell me that. She just said I couldnโt have it!โ My boss goes back into the stockroom. The lady looks around for a minute, and leaves. A moment later I look at a coworker, and say โI hate when customers donโt believe you, and then go ahead and put on an act just for the boss. That woman acted and looked like a small, angry dog.โ She had come back in through the other door, and was literally right behind me. Somehow she didnโt say anything and just walked out.
girr0ckss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:33:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, you kinda called her a little bitch
StripedSausage ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 12:24:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She needed to hear that honestly
Tsubara ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 05:24:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About 3 years ago, I worked retail at a refurbished computer shop.
This older black man walks in, looks like he's old, but doesn't look his age, if that makes sense. Anyways, very tall, slender, wearing a gray cap.
So, the store is pretty empty, I'm on the floor alone (small store), my coworker is restocking something in the back. This gentleman is browsing our laser printers.
I approach him and ask if he has any questions.
Me: "Good afternoon, sir. Is there anything I can help with?"
Him: "Hey, how's it going. Do you sell colored printers?"
In my infinite wisdom, I respond:
"Sir, it's 2015, you can use any printer you want"
I immediately freeze. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Then he lets out a big smile and a chuckle. I show him our color laser printers.
I still can't sleep over this sometimes.
for_whatever_reason_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
humanism is obsolete
-eDgAR- ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 23:17:25 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a cashier at Borders I had long hair and was starting to grow a beard so I looked a little bit like Jesus according to some. One day I had this lady as a customer, seemed a bit kooky by the way she dressed and acted, but overall was polite. She comments about how I looked like Jesus and then asked me if she could tell me something. I didn't want to be rude, so I said okay and she ended up going on this rant about her life and what Jesus meant to her. There were other customers, so I kind of cut her off and said sorry but there were other people in line. This didn't phase her though, she just stood off a bit to the side and continued on her rant. It was incredibly awkward having to ring up these other people while she stood there quoting the bible. This went on for about 20 minutes before my manager finally came back and she got security to escort her out. She seemed pretty harmless but I was still a little bit freaked out that she would be waiting outside for me after my shift was done and like stab me or follow me home or something.
Pawn315 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 03:11:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is why the real Jesus didn't even bother looking like Jesus.
gurg2k1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:02:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why he looks like a white american guy?
Autarch_Kade ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping you had just linked to some random illustration of jesus
Totally_not_Zool ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The power of me compels ye!
AnorhiDemarche ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:03:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer like this the other week.
My co-worker was doing the polite chit-chat thing with her, found out the customer grew up in the same street as some of co-worker's family. So of course, my co-worker (a lady nearing retirement age) asks about if they knew each other.
Prompting the customer to go on a massive rant about what a horrible bitch my co-worker's distant cousin is. With all the juicy detail, swearing, rude name calling, and all loud enough for the whole shop to hear. No amount of polite "we're in the shop. Keep it down" or "she's really just a very distant relative I've never met her myself." could stop this woman.
My poor co-worker was apologising to all the customers the whole time. Luckily none of them seemed to blame her for what had happened.
GoldCuty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:58:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Her own Jesus for her own crass at home.
beezofaneditor ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 04:14:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't judge me.
I used to sell satellite TV to patrons of Best Buy. It was a pretty shitty job - walking up to customers, asking, "Did you hear about our sale on cable going on right now?", then reeling in the few fish that bought the line into a sales pitch on DirecTV.
On one such occasion, some sad sack was moping around the TV's, my favorite spot to catch people. He was particularly morose, not even really looking at anything. I approached and the conversation is as follows....
"Hi there, did you hear about our sale on cable going on right now?"
"No. What it is?" - he says very distantly.
"DirecTV has new packages, bundled and discounted for Best Buy customers. What kind of shows do you typically watch?"
"Oh. I shouldn't be here." - said with more sadness than secrecy.
"Really?"
(long break)
"My son died. I buried him this morning. I just didn't want to go home."
(moment of awkward silence)
"Oh, well, then I guess you won't be needing any of the kids' channels then, huh?"
Multicolored_Squares ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 07:12:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude.
venomwing ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:32:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After reading though this entire thread so far, this is the story that actually makes me cringe and facepalm. Damn, dude.
OneTrickPonypower ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:43:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh no you didn't!!
CoinOnTheRob ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:12:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol too soon
senorgharkstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
oh man seriously. you must have been extra chipper to fold that one out
[deleted] ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:44:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tried waiting tables when I was 20 while in college. Time finally came for me to have my own table during the lunch hour. The lady training me was watching from a distance to give me feedback. So I got to the table and can only see two ladies both with long grey hair in pony tails.
I proceed to their table and say โgood afternoon ladies, how are we doing today?โ They both turn to look at me, and holy shit, one of the women has a solid grey mustache. Wait a minute, that lady is a guy, and is with his wife. I tried to correct myself by saying โand gentleman..โ The woman training me quickly came over to rescue me and she said โthis is adam..itโs his first weekโ. The guy who I referred to as a lady said something like โyeah heโs gonna need a few more weeksโ.
And that was my last day in my career as a waiter.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:25:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I ask a man what his wife wanted to drink (because she walked away before telling me) and he told me that was his mom :(
bu111000 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if you think of it, you complimented his mom, because you thought she is 20+ yrs younger.
synsa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, it would've been worse if you'd thought it was his mom and it turned out to be his wife
cujiine ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 04:34:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the one that said it, but I was involved in the situation.
I worked at a pet store that sold pets and one of my managers bred reptiles in addition to the pet store gig.
A young girl, about 13, had been coming in for WEEKS, slowly purchasing all of the things needed to absolutely spoil a leopard gecko because she had been given the go ahead for a pet and wanted to do everything right.
She bought a gecko from us after holding each one to see their temperament. We offered a 30 day warrantee on all animals so if they got sick/injured/dead in the first 30 days, they could bring them back and we would take them to the vet/replace them. She brought little gecko (his name was Stevie) back after about three weeks because he had stopped eating and was being really lethargic. I called my aforementioned manager over because he knows more about reptiles and in taking the gecko back in for treatment, he'd need to go set it up in a care tank until we could contact the Vet.
Gecko had a seizure in the 45 seconds between my call for the manager and his walking up and died there at the register. Manager comes over and asks what's going on, so I explain everything.
Manager looks in the box. "Oh it's dead"
Girl looks like she's about to start crying. Her dad gets defensive because this is his little girl's first pet and she's now upset. "How do you know he's dead?!"
Manager picks up the very limp, very much dead gecko, places it in his flat palm and proceeds to flop its carcass around in his hand. "It does this."
About .05 seconds after he did this he looks at my face if absolute horror, the dad's look of anger, and the young girl who is now sobbing.
They sat down for about 20 minutes while she said goodbye to Stevie and decided what to do from there and walked out with a new gecko (Stewie) and about $50 worth of product that my manager paid for after apologizing profusely.
TheCactusPokesOnce ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:10:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked at a fast food taco restaurant for about 6 months. High school me was very proud of my long, thick hair, and I always took very good care of it and made sure it looked pristine when I put it up for work.
Once, while working the drive thru, a customer told me they loved my hair. โOh wow, your hair is so gorgeous!โ And my dumbass said: โThanks, I grew it myself.โ The customerโs smile faded, and they didnโt say anything else after that.
To this day thatโs the only way I respond to someone saying they like my hair!
OriginalIronDan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:32:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My go-to is โIโm kind of attached to it myself; nyuk, nyuk , nyuk!โ while wiggling my eyebrows.
CrackPipeQueen ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 21:01:43 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone was questioning me about our food, but I didn't have a lot of answers since our food was pre-made from the restaurant next door. Since I told him that he asked, "So, you guys just heat it up back there and serve it?"
He ended up liking the food anyway but it was really weird having to admit that.
QualityAsshole ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 00:48:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
worked at a coffee shop. told a customer to fuck off
๐๏ธ gdvr282 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:15:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Former barista. There were many times I wished I said this.
Edit: a word
Nevermind04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I like your style.
GreatJanitor ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 00:36:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Halloween, I worked as a bagger for Kroger, a friend of mine with the same name as me worked for Piggly Wiggly. We traded name tags at school (we were seniors in high school) and I wore the Piggly Wiggly name tag to Kroger.
Customer on a carry out: "Son, are you aware that you've got the wrong name tag on?"
Me: Nope, this is my name.
Customer: Wrong store.
Me: I know, I did this as a laugh as to prove my theory that my managers don't give a fuck about the baggers. (rant against the company follows...)
Well meaning and loyal customer relays everything back to the manager. Wasn't fired, but the shit that followed made me wish I had been fired. I had a manager or supervisor watching me for a month. I couldn't take a piss without asking for permission (pretty much the only freedom baggers had). Every carryout I went on was monitored and timed. If I took too long I got chewed out, in some cases, even dressed down in front of the customer. I was on an incredibly short leash after that.
What got me fired? While on that short leash I took my hour lunch. It was my scheduled time to go and instead of waiting for the okay, I dashed while no one was looking.
insidezone64 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 11:12:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And then Kroger went ahead and proved you right, that they really don't give a fuck about their baggers.
FrozenCaveMoose ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:23:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck that, and fuck H-E-B grocery stores for how they treat their employees. Fuck all-such places for shitty employee treatment.
iaywwnm ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 01:18:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well this isnโt something I said, but more something I did. Iโm a host at a restaurant and three guests walked in and I noticed they seemed to be kind of guiding this young girl. So as I sat them at the table I gave her a brail menu. The man proceeded to tell me โsheโs autistic not blindโ
I felt really stupid and embarrassed.
senorgharkstar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:08:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well you were trying to do the right thing though
KaizenBatta ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:25:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First one: I was serving ice cream the lady ask what flavours we had. I told her all of the flavours are list above and tapped on the sign. She then points at an ice cream in the corner and asks "what that one in the front" I point to the one closest to her and state the flavour. "No the one in the front" I point to the beside it confused I couldn't actually see her hand through the stainless steel top so I was going by what I could see from her arm. "No! The one in the front" I point to the one closest to me. And ask this one? She replies "yes that would be the one in the front." I reply back "the front facing of the cooler faces you and from your perspective this flavour would be the back as well. Which I is what we would assume you would be referring to. So no this is in back. And it is..." She scoffed and asked what 8 other flavours, the asked what that flavour was again before getting vanilla. And then telling my co-worker that I am rude and provide poor service.
The second time. We had an restaurant customer come in. She grabs some product and asks my staff for her "discount" they tell her as both her and my staff have been instructed that she can only get restaurant prices on called in orders. She then asks to use the phone to call her son (who owns the restaurant.) My staff member working opens my door and asks if she can use the phone. I tell her that we don't allow long distance phone calls and that I have too much confidential information on my desk to allow anyone to use my phone at the moment (I had 10g worth of cash sitting in front of the phone, bank deposit book, other customer invoices, reports on product that had been just made on my desk...if you knew how to read the report you could make the product yourself...and was in the middle of buying change from the event on the weekend for the safe change money. So uh no sorry.) She looks through the door at me and yells "are you serious I am one of your good customers. You won't allow your customer to use the phone so I can pick up product?! Are you fucking serious?!" I look at her and reconize that she is a customer that hasn't paid their bill in such a long time that they were told they couldn't place anymore orders until we received payment. "I am sorry, but I have too much confidential information on my desk at the moment...hense why my door was closed ...there is cell service outside the store particularly on the left side of the parking lot you can make a call on your phone there. I know one can get service there, I have made calls there, suppliers call in from there when receiving isn't answering the door and they don't want to walk back over to the store to ask someone to page receiving." (Her claim was she had no cell service) she came in later saying, she had to drive a mile down the road to get service, and that I always give poor service. I sat there thinking; bitch, the only service I ever provide for you is I deliver your product, at the time and day you were informed my deliveries are at. I haven't forgot your order. I don't go to town to specially deliver you product, I am in town for set pick ups for the plant, these have set days, If you want to pick up your product then be my guest, we don't have to provide you with this service; anyone else who needs product on different day either picks it up or pays the delivery fee and receives it via Purolator a day or two after we complete the order - for your size of orders. Beside you don't even pay your bill until we stop delivering. FFS!
JerseyByNature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
reports on product that had been just made on my desk...if you knew how to read the report you could make the product yourself... a recipe?
phluke- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was an engineer for a company that made parts for a company I used to work with before that. It was a ball and socket for an aircraft muffler. They were having all kinds of issues with them being too loose but our parts met the prints so QA just kept telling them the parts were good. They sent a guy over to 'get to the bottom of it' which escalated it to me. He was a huge douche I knew from having worked there in the past. Before he arrived I figured out thier ball was toleranced to be smaller than the socket which makes for a sloppy joint especially with thin metal. So I had one fabed up the other way around, ball bigger than bell. Again with the thin metal it worked like a dream, all at our expense.
He showed up and I showed him the parts and said I think I had solved the issue. He measures the parts and said they didn't meet print... I'm like yeah but your print is making bad parts so just update the dimensions. He went on and on about how the print has been the same forever and did we try this or that (we had) blah blah blah. Finally I said, (in front of people), "look I don't mean to be blunt but I don't really give a shit what size you want the ball or socket just tell us and we can hit it but your just going to end up with bad parts that meet print again."
He went back to his company and told them our engineers (me) didnt want to cooperate. They pulled the work from us and my owner lit me up. I explained the whole situation about how I solved thier whole issue and he called the other owner (former A&P mechanic) and explained everything and that other dude got fired.
So I guess he was the one that fucked up?
KyleGriz ยท 100 points ยท Posted at 03:20:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I served at a Ruby Tuesday's for about a year when I first started college and had a memorable experience with a larger party of younger and relatively milfy mothers and their kids. Everything went well and the check was taken care of as they all packed up and left. One mother returned while I was bussing the table obviously looking for something she had left behind. She proceeded to crawl under the table on her hands and knees.
"No no miss, that's alright. You don't need to. You already have me a tip."
Immediately followed by "Please don't get me fired."
She laughed, stood up holding a toy that must've been dropped and told me to "have a good rest of the day sweetie." Needless to say, I was pretty happy that she had a sense of humor.
tuatara24 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:45:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The immediate walkback is what makes this one my favorite.
hanazawarui123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:18:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I want to upvote this..but since the upvotes are 69,I choose not to
TacoRanger5394 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some jerk upvoted anyway, so I have contributed my downvote to keep it at 69
ExtraCheesyPie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:54:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Brothers, hold the line!
Buhpuh ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 02:09:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in sales. Was talking on the phone with a customer about various computer features. A co-worker walked by my desk and pointed at a picture I had of my Chihuahua and silently made an โawwโ gesture. The next thing I said to the customer was โIt has Chihuahua....โ at which point my co-worker starts cracking up and leaves. Customer immediately reacts humorously โIt has CHIHUAHUA?!โ
joedavis333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gold
Raymi ยท 75 points ยท Posted at 01:35:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened today, Mediterranean sandwich shop. It's the GM's day off, and I'm in charge in his absence. I'm working the register, and a lady walks up to place an order. All is well, until I read her the total and she causally says "oh, I don't have any money, or anything..."
Mind you, this is right after the lunch rush, so my blood is still pumping. Rather than scream at her for the stupidity of ordering food she knows she can't pay for, I manage a smile and an "okay, that's fine. Have a good day."
She nonchalantly turns to the salad bar, grabs a bowl, and starts filling it. Seething, I snap "the salad also costs money", and turn to take the next order, figuring she would be ashamed and stop.
Five minutes later, the GM walks in, and yells "Raymi, make my wife a fucking sandwich!"
The worst part? I had met her before. Twice. She's also friends with my wife.
I have never made a better-looking sandwich, nor made one as fast.
acmhkhiawect ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 12:32:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why didn't she say oh I'm GM's wife? You can't expect staff discount (or free shit) without asking !?
Raymi ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 13:39:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She didn't know I didn't recognize her. I had met her previously, but I'm terrible at remembering faces.
EyeAmTheVictor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:01:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You're going to hear about this for years. lol
Ganonslayer1 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 09:00:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
just because you're the gm's wife doesnt mean you're entitled to free food tho.
Raymi ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:44:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, she is. That's how we run things.
Ganonslayer1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:21 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well its not your fault tbh, rush hour and all you'te not focusing on remembering her appearance.
insidezone64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just because she's the GM's wife doesn't mean she's entitled to free food.
Raymi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:40:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, wives eat free there. It's company policy.
insidezone64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 14:01:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's an employee-friendly policy. Good company to work for, I hope.
Azurealy ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 01:46:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a restaurant that serves really massive portions. To the point customers are surprised how large it is and make verbal comments on it when i bring them to their table. I usually say something like "yea we get that a lot" or something. But one time it was 2 girls about my age and one girl says "woah this is HUGE" and under my breath i said without thinking "thats what she said"
MembehBerry ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:20:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am a valet. I pull up a car for two elder men and normally I would say something like โEnjoy the rest of your dayโ. Since theres two men, i adjust and say โEnjoy the rest of your days. โ
I dont know if they even heard me, but i heard me.
tastycat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice thing to say.
MembehBerry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Who knows how long i have left, im gonna get real weird with it.
Phoenixfighter09 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:11:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man this one pops up in my brain every once in awhile. I worked at a gas station for about 4 years and when I quit, I was on my second last shift when this genius tries to go through the car wash with a code that he used previously. He starts yelling over the intercom thing to "just print me a new code I never used this one!" Yet the computer documents the day and time it was redeemed. So I say no, he storms in all like "give me a new code". I say no and he won't drop it or pay for a new wash code. I tell him he can speak to the manager the next time he's in and hope he just leaves. Well, he doesn't and decides to berate me for the next 10 minutes saying "if you keep up this attitude you're going to be working at a place like this forever". I fucking lost it, called him a fucking piece of shit and that how dare he think he is better than anyone who works retail. Said I would be out of this place tomorrow anyway. Told him to fuck off and leave but he wouldn't so I threatened to call the police if he didn't leave and he finally did. Woman behind him decides to chime in and say "wow I think you are being very rude" okay lady you came in at the end of this and didn't hear this sad old man's pathetic projection so STFU. Anyway, I should have just brushed it off and ignored that rude ass comment but I have a short fuse from working in retail. Dude came in the next fucking day on my last day while I was alone and was like "I thought you were done here?" I say "yep last shift". Then I get the bright idea to apologize and say "working retail is really tough and what you said to me was extremely rude and nearsighted but I am sorry for what I said to you". His response was "your mouth should be washed out with soap". I just didn't say anything after that but wow. I hate that I still think about this sometimes when I feel bad about myself. Fuck that guy, I hope he's dead.
d_wib ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 02:43:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a lifeguard. A little girl (maybe 7 years old) ran very quickly and jumped off the diving board before I allowed her to, as the previous kid had not yet gotten to the ladder on the side of the deep end. In fact she almost landed right on him. I told her that she canโt do that and she started saying โOh I didnโt think-โ at which point I interrupted her and said โNo. You didnโt thinkโ like a huge asshole. Way to go, 15-year old me. I still think about that sometimes and feel bad.
iwannaridearaptor ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:33:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't feel too bad about this one. She could've seriously injured someone or even killed them. Sometimes you have to point out to kids that they aren't thinking and they need to learn to consider risks. If I were her parent I would've been completely fine with you saying it.
FontChoiceMatters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:27:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am a teacher. I say this a lot. You mightve actually made her a better person by getting to her early on.
dayman89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 04:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in the vitamin department of a health food store. Women frequently came in for diet help: weight management, appetite suppression, etc. A woman approached me who did not appear to me to be overweight, but she didn't look very healthy either. She asked me where she could find the "weight management" items. I walked her over to the diet/fat loss stuff... and she told me she was trying to gain, not lose. I just apologized and walked away...
CGkiwi ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:30:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a milk tea shop that also sold snacks like fried tofu and chicken. Our specialty for the summer was the fresh watermelon juice.
Most of our customers were Asian or Caucasian, so when a black guy walked in, it was a bit out of the ordinary, but whatever, its all good yโknow?
So the guy walks up, and my mind decides to vomit all the racial stereotypes possible when I see the guy lights up at our watermelon juice sign.
โI bet heโs going to going to get the watermelon juice and the fried chickenโ by brain says.
โIโll get the watermelon and the fried chicken.โ The dude says.
Holyshit brain, u racist motherfucker.
So of course, being the professional I am, I say โOf course.โ
But it comes out as a shit-eating, prehyphenated โ of course โ.
He flashes me a goddam winning smile while he sees me fucking seize. I suddenly had the urge to become best friends with the tubs of ice cream in the deep freezer.
I gave him his order, he left like it was Christmas.
To be fair, watermelon juice and fried chicken is fucking bomb.
EiplecOco ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 02:25:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a barista at a coffee shop that will not be named.
We have timers. We have so many timers. We have timers for making coffee (Even if the pot is still full and hot), timers for washing the steamer, timers for changing out the milk rag, timers for changing the sanitizer water, timers for keeping track of how long the creamer has been outside, timers for making announcements, and sometimes even timers for breaks (Usually just for goofing around with a coworker).
Officially, we're required to wear most of the timers on our aprons and divvy them out equally. This only happens when upper-level management come by because it's fairly degrading and annoying.
These timers are extremely loud, annoying, and sometimes don't work correctly by not resetting when you've fixed whatever it was beeping for.
With all that exposition said
My coworkers and I had been complaining to each other about the timers for a couple years. I decided to go with a planned joke of saying I hear them in my dreams, and they haunt me like PTSD.
Fairly well-received at the time (Even though in hindsight it diminishes the real issue of PTSD into a joke, which is not okay) by customers and coworkers.
One day early in the morning as I was opening I said this to some woman who came by kinda-regularly, as a few annoying timers went off at the same time she was ordering and paying.
I made the PTSD joke, which WAS A BAD MOVE.
She stopped for a moment to give me graphic detail of the issue facing her soon who has PTSD from either Iraq or Afghanistan due to an IED explosion crippling his vehicle and it killed a few of his close friends he had made in the military.
She talked about how he screams at night often in his sleep, how she can't console him and it hurts her as a mother to not be able to soothe his pain.
At 6:15am, I was wide away with anxiety and guilt because I thought it was a good idea to tell a (what I thought, mistakenly) harmless joke. I trivialized her sons serious issue.
For as long as I've worked there afterwards, she has not come back.
I definitely should not have said that 'joke' to her, or anyone in the first place for that matter.
Autarch_Kade ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:12:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, this experience seems really traumatic to still be haunting you. Sounds like ptsd!
BL8K3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:53:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Try being the guy who asks a vet, unaware of his PTSD, if he had ever killed anyone. Guy's face goes from laughter to dead BLANK. I apologized so much I nearly started sobbing. I felt absolutely horrid. It just popped into my head.
dankmernes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:39:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
meh, it's not like you could have known.
People get PTSD from lots of shit.
OverflowingSarcasm ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:33:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's like OCD. "I have to fold my clothes in a particular way because I'm so OCD!" That's not OCD. OCD is jumping off a bridge because you are 100% certain you've accidentally made a pact with the devil and if you don't cross your fingers while hanging out with your 3yo neice then she will become tainted with sin and die and burn forever in hellfire, and you can't risk doing that to your family.
But at the same time, I think we have to all admit that "OCD" has more than one meaning. Yes, it's a diagnosis for a serious mental disorder, but most people understand that it has a second, colloquial meaning which is different to the diagnosis. I can say I'm OCD about folding clothes, and the majority of people will not interpret that as meaning I've been to a psychologist and they've diagnosed me with a disorder.
What I'm trying to say is that it's OK to use terms like "PTSD" and "OCD" in a colloquial way, and you shouldn't beat yourself up over it too much. Obviously, you shouldn't use the terms to purposely hurt someone. And it's good to educate yourself about those disorders, so that you don't make ignorant comments. But it's stupid to say that you can't use those terms colloquially because they only refer to the diagnosis, because that's just not true.
EiplecOco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fair and reasonable assessment.
I think my anxiety and remorse were due to more personal beliefs of mine; I feel that speaking of serious subject matter like that in a non-serious manner degrades and/or trivializes the severity of the issue in how it impacts the sufferer as well as how the intentionally/unintentionally 'ignorant person' (In that case, me) perceives the issue.
However, that's just my thing and is definitely not the only way such things should be considered; it's perfectly reasonable for everyone, even those who don't struggle with a particular condition, to be vocal in some degree and keep forcing the issue to be engaged in some way.
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:08:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have worked in the food industry, and combined with personal trauma, those timers contributed to my PTSD. Even now - sometimes in Maccas when I hear their timers go off - I can have flashbacks but am on the whole much better.
But yeah, try to forgive yourself.
K1gC ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:58:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Short story. Guy had a bad burn because his girlfriend threw gasoline on him and lit a match. He was released from the burn unit and was suicidal because his girlfriend didnโt want to date him anymore. So Iโm checking the wound before he goes to psych and I have two float RNs with me. He points to his leg and says โthis is the gift she gave me. LOOK!!!! I love her!โ
So I say something along the lines of โyou probably shouldnโt send her a thank you note.โ
He laughs because he is so high and drunk. An hour or so before this he begged me to call his girlfriend and I said โletโs wait till youโre more sober.โ
Iโm sure there was an automatic restraining order initiated to be honest.
Ran_Out_Of_Tinfoil ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:13:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a computer shop a long time ago, in a very small town in the middle of nowhere. One day a "little person" (this is important) came into the store and asked if we had any laptops in stock for sale. As we were a tiny store we did not keep laptops on hand, and had to special order them, so I tell this little person (who, for some reason is starting to look familiar to me...) that I was sorry, but we did not have any in stock, but could order one. He replied that he was only in town for the day and didn't have the time for a special order so thanked me and left. About 30 seconds after he left it dawned on me that I had just sent Wee Man from Jackass away without even acknowledging that he was anyone out of the ordinary. I went into the back and told my co-worker what had happened and she did not believe me, so we went to the VCR recording the 1 camera that covered the front of the store and re-wound it and compared the video to pictures from the internet and 100% it was Wee Man. Later that day we found out that jackass was in the area filming which validated my story. I still wonder what would have happened if I had recognized him and said something different....
teddy_hopper ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a server. The other night I IDโd a lady with bleach blonde hair. She had dark hair in her pic. She says, โIโve dyed my hair since that picture was taken.โ I replied, โI can tell itโs you, I see your roots.โ I instantly regretted it, but her friends laughed and she took it in stride.
Joezerony ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 04:45:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at jersey mikes. A repeat customer comes in complaining about how we always mess up her order. I assure her that i made sure it was correct(it was actually made incorrectly until i noticed) she doubted me, so i tell her " if your looking for the spit, youre not going to find it" it went over her head and she told corporate. I got fired lol
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:52:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
tylerks279 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
what? just unplug that shit from the wall?
dysphorasaur ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:42:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first job out of college was at an organic grocery store. Most of my coworkers were normal but 3 of them were convinced eucalyptus oil could cure alzheimer's and most of the customers believed GMOs were part of the Reagan administration's plot to give everyone heart disease. Usually when customers asked for silly Dr. Oz shit I just said I was new and wasn't aware of said snake oil. One day a lady spent over $200 on herbal supplements and essential oils, and while ringing them up she asked me which size rose quartz was best for treating her mother's cancer symptoms. I snapped and said, "maybe if you spent your money on a doctor instead of this crap your mom would have beaten cancer." I was walked out the following week. No regrets!
MetsJail ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 02:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a go-karting place that would often host camps. A lot of the times, the camp counselor(s) had to drive the campers if they were too short.
One day, we had a very large camp and every kid needed to be driven. The counselors were driving for a while, so when the race would end and we'd put new kids on, we talked and joked with them a bit.
After one of the races, one of the female counselors jokingly says "hey, how can I make my kart go faster?"
I said... "lose some weight."
What I meant was lose the kid (drive without them and their weight holding the kart down). I don't think she heard me, but my friend next to me definitely did because he didn't stop laughing the entire shift.
Andrewcpu ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 04:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a music school for a period of time (before getting fed up with the incompetence)...
Lady on phone: "Is Manager or Teacher there?... Oh let me guess. they're not available to take my call"
There was about 3 minutes more of aggression from her. This lady was a bitch, we ended up telling her to find another school
Me: No. Manager is not here, and teacher is with another client. And I cannot deprive another client of their lesson time just so you can complain about the same nonsense you always do.
Also note: Teacher was sitting right next to me,(she didn't want to talk to the bitch today)
Instead of stopping there I doubled down and proceeded to tell her:
Me: You need to calm down, there is absolutely no reason for you to be this agressive and hostile with me. It's ridiculous and embarrassing you'd treat someone this way. So we can take this from the beginning niceand calm, or you can call me back when you get over yourself.
Lady: [screaming.... I mean screaming]
Me: [pulls phone away from ear and rolls eyes at Teacher]
Lady: [incoherent]
Me: I'm so sorry you feel this way.
Lady: [click]
I DID NOT GET IN TROUBLE
PegasusCoffee ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 04:20:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers come to my window all the time on their phone. We have a strict "no phone calls at the window" because we need their input on several key factors and some information from them. One older woman springs to mind, who wanted to renew her registration tags (TX) but wouldn't put her phone down.
She hands me her renewal notice, and then she tells me "Just the renewal" she tells me. "Alright," I reply in a peppy tone, "I'll start once you're done with that call." This turns her expression sour and she glares at me; "This might take awhile." To which I unflinchingly answer her; "I'm here 'til 5, and I'm getting paid to be here, ma'am. I can wait here all day if you'd like."
She called my supervisor over, who politely pointed to the "NO PHONES AT WINDOW" signs posted on every clerk's station. Begrudgingly, she shuts down the phone and looks at me as if we've insulted her entire heritage.
"Can I get my sticker now?" she harps. "No," I answer in kind, "you need your inspection first."
lioninn22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:50:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck the DMV
GardenGnomeOfEden ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:53:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: "It's cold in here."
Me: "You're cold? What are you, anemic?"
Customer: "Yes."
strawberry36 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:26:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've had a shitty day (and week). I needed all the laughs this thread is giving me! Thank you, redditors
wordsdear ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 03:24:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sometimes need to try to convince customers to take their receipts, I told one guy who was getting a small packet of trail mix "You'll need your receipt as they might ask about your nuts as you leave" I immediately regretted it and my coworker beside me snorted but luckily the customer didn't say anything.
Another time a customer asked where the cream was and instead of saying "the cream in on the side and you grab it yourself" I pointed to the side and said "cream yourself"
1-ice ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 02:34:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was bartending at a high volume sports bar/game center (yes, that one) and I was having a rough Saturday night. A drunk gentlemen stumbles to the bar and interrupts me talking to other guests to ask me an all important question, "Aye, y'all got any Amstel Light?" I do my best to finish my convo with the other guests but he continues to persist with this request. I finally had enough and my filter completely disenergrates and I burst out, "No we don't sell Amstel Light, do we look like a Fucking strip club?!?!" As soon as that leaves my mouth I gasp in horror of what I just said to this undeserving stranger. He pauses then retorts, "Haha, you right tho!" And promptly leaves and disappears. The previous guests cheersed to me and put some money in my tip jar. Everything went better than expected.
fellow_enthusiast ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dave and Busters? They used to serve Amstel Light when I frequented the place, but that 10+ years ago.
espernz ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 23:53:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store in the bakery department. When any product was about to expire the following day we would put a 50% off sticker for a quick sale to reduce waste within the dept. So one day this volumptious woman comes up with a 50% off birthday cake and asks for a birthday msg to be written on it. I oblige , hand her the cake and she sort of pauses reluctantly as she is taking it from my hands and rather rudely asks "when was this cake made ?" I explain that it was made 5 days ago and that it will expire tomorrow and that it's a great deal if she plans on eating it straight away. She then questions how fresh it will be and how it's sat on the shelf for 5 days already. At this point I'm slightly annoyed bc I have already written on this thing and working in the bakery I have ate my ass a fair share of 50% off cakes that didn't sell ... bc nom nom, and they were just as good as day #1. So, during this encounter I happen to glance at her cart and it's full of Joe Lous, granola bars, cookies... all kinds of goodies packed in boxes that have a shelf life of year or more. Just junk. I simply say " well I can tell you this cake isn't going to last as long as that pack of Joe Louis " with a smug smile on my melon. Caught her off guard and she agreed when I put it that way and waddled off.
fellow_enthusiast ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:23:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whatโs a Joe Louis and why would it outlast a cake?
TVLL ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:31:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jos Louis maybe? I was curious too:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jos_Louis
carealicious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:50:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They are a "sweet treat" in the same category as hostess cupcakes, which I'm pretty sure means there are more chemicals and preservatives than real food! That being said, they're pretty tasty!
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:44:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my workmate. The other day I was taking an order and this lady (on the larger side) goes, "how big are your nachos?" and my workmate turns around and says "they're quite big, most people get them to share between two people" and she replies "oh well I'll get that as my main" he felt pretty bad straight after.
aswb ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:27:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was serving a family.
Me: how is everything Mum: great, but my taco is dripping everywhere Me: thatโs what she said
Shocked looks ensue, I panic and run away.
analogweekend ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:28:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a clerk at a convenience store and Iโm ringing up this dude for a couple of items, one which was toilet paper.
This is how the conversation went:
me: howโs it going? customer: my divorce just got finalized today me: oh iโm sorry to hear that customer: iโm having a really shitty day, man.
me: ha ha... well itโs a good thing youโve got these
then i awkwardly point at the toilet paper
JohnnyHammerstix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:44:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working as a bell hop. My manager asked me to go up to the 16th floor to help a customer with some bags. No problem. Easy work. So I run to the elevator and press up. The doors open and I go to run in but immediately stop as a woman is backing up with one of the rolling luggage racks. I yell "Whoa, watch out! Lady with a rack, coming through!". My jaw dropped and my manager fell behind the counter laughing as this woman turns around with this look of shock and disgust and I immediately realize she has the BIGGEST breasts I've ever seen on a woman. Super foot in mouth situation.
kokoTaco ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:21:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a friend. We were working in a call center catering to a telco. Customer keeps on asking for >$100 credits for overages when they forgot to call in to get the discounted roaming package. We are only allowed max of $20 worth of courtesy credits per account. Customer deems it unacceptable so my friend goes โwell then, is there anything else?โ. Customer hung up.
Friend - 1, Customer - 0
Sparkyxx15 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:53:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always tried to make small talk when I was serving food at our grocery store. I swore I heard an accent on this woman, and, in making small talk, asked her where she was from. She said she had a stroke and had to learn how to speak again. I have never put the lid on food faster.
beezusquinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:24 on May 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
If this ever happens again because it can reply with โwell you sound amazingโ
cantbeconnected ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 04:19:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't mine.
My cousin works at a pharmacy and one day a customer called into the store to cancel a prescription. My cousin, who tries to do his job as best as he can, realizes that the medicine is required for the customer's condition on file. He asks the customer, "Are you sure your wife is going to be okay without these?" Before he could even finish the sentence the man on the line began to cry and said, "She passed away last night."
carrotcolossus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a supermarket and a woman came through with a can of dog food, and I wittily made the comment, โgetting something for lunch are we?โ
I immediately realised how deeply offensive that was, apologised and promptly tried to disappear from the space time continuum.
pangy80 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:32:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling a engagement ring to a guy and his GF/fiancee and she as a real bitch, he had a budget and she was trying to blow that out the water by at least 3x, she kept telling him that it was either that or she wouldn't marry him, you could tell she was a horrible bitch, I turned round to him and said are you sure you want to do this, she went mental and walked out, by this time I had lost the sale so as he followed her I wished him luck and told him he will need it . On paper I shouldn't of said it but he seemed like a decent guy and she was a dick so fuck it
Spartacus_Sucks ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 12:28:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer tore a coupon that's been expired for 3 years into confetti and tossed it into the air in anger. My response:
"So I take it you'll be ordering from the children's menu?"
Rentablewax ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:20:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work as a clerk at a small grocery store and occasionally there was a blind customer that we would help should. Just help him find things he was looking for and whatnot. Well one day he wanted some brand of chips that I'd never heard of and I'm struggling trying to find them so, to aid my search, I asked him if he knew what they looked like. I immediately realized my mistake, apologized, and went to go die in a hole from embarrassement
throwawaybbs123 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:42:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you need to see my I.D" "Nah you're good lol" Older woman was not pleased that I inadvertently called her old.
beezusquinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:10:43 on May 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This could be about me. I went to a truck stop in KY and was buying cigarettes. I jokingly said โbe careful who you call oldโ he responded โI went to high school with you, you look exactly the same, apparently I donโt.โ ....oops.
guerosushiman ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:03:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer tells my boss he shouldn't go to Korea until "that idiot" is out of power.
I respond saying, "Which one? The orange one or the fat one?"
They respond, "Well, we like the orange one."
Mfw ๐ค๐ค
Edit: a word
ChesireCat97 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:56:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a toy store when I was 19, I was having a conversation with this lady and she was telling me about her kids. So Iโm listing along and she says to me โoh, when you have kids youโll know what itโs likeโ. And I looked at her and said โoh I donโt want kidsโ. It got awkward real fast.
StripedSausage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Totally her fault for assuming your lifestyle choices tbh
masqutanLegend ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:22:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
MILF was thanking me profusely for helping her, don't remember exactly what she said but my response was "you're not too bad yourself." Asked for my managers number instead of mine...
KingKrmit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:49:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a pretty sarcastic dude. Just my personality. However, Iโm usually pretty positive and always joking around. This can be a problem when dealing with a customer at a drive thru window.
Mother orders macaroni and cheese for her son. Routine is we put utensils in the bag. A coworker and I butt heads over whether mac&cheese gets a fork or a spoon. I say fork.
Upon the mother reaching the window, I ask her, โDo you eat macaroni and cheese with a fork or spoon?โ She says spoon. Rather than saying ok and giving her the damn spoon, I proceed to say...
โYouโve failed as a mother.โ
This asshole comment would have flown amongst me and my close friends. To a random woman feeding her kid? Maybe not the best idea.
Somehow, she caught my sense of humor and laughed it off, even when my manager tried to apologize. That woman probably saved my job that day.
liquidbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:09:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn!
heymelloncollie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:57:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work a kid's event and have a plush toy named Molly. Someone asked me if we had any left. "Yeah man, we have plenty of Molly left, how many do you want?"
darling2 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was ringing in a guest's to-go order yesterday. At the end of his order, he goes, "And 2 pepsis or cokes." On the computer still typing in the food order, I distractedly say, "Yeah, we do coke here." Whoops.
Huuballawick ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 08:03:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got tongue tied saying "Bye guys" and "Have a good day" and ended up saying "Bye gays!"
BigPete2012 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:00:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for my city. I was running VIP parking for one of our events. I was instructed that no one gets in this lot without their VIP sticker. All the city counsel and officials should have them. Well it's getting late and I'm already pretty annoyed at people being stupid when this suv pulls up at my gate. The passenger rolls their window down and it's a grey haired man sitting there. He asks if this is VIP, I say yes but you need to have a pass. He then looks me in the eye and says, "Son, do you know who I am?". Even more annoyed, I reply ,"No sir." He then says," Son, I'm the mayor." And without even a pause, I blurted, "Well, i don't care if you're the Queen of England. You're not parking here without a pass." I immediately knew what I had done. The man angrily reached into his glove box and produced the pass. I let him through. Apparently, he went straight to my head of department to tell her what i did. Luckily my supervisor heard what happened and stopped her on her way to fire my ass and explained that technically i did what I was told and shouldn't get in trouble. Luckily she agreed and now there is a book with all the VIPs pictures and names and I'm no longer allowed to work VIP parking.
liquidbrains ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:58:49 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your mayor was being an ass.
onetimerone ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:55:34 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted it before but it belongs here. Priest patient with Brut cologne bottle in his sigmoid. Me: What happened? Him: I fell. Twenty year old, first x-ray job me: that must have been a very accurate fall father...
CrimsonSmear ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:26:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a cashier, I had a customer come through the line and made me deal with some coupons or splitting the payment or something, so she said, "Sorry for being such a pain in the ass." I took a calculated risk and said, "That's okay, my ass is used to it." She paused for a second and processed what I said. I was thinking, "Shit, I shouldn't have said that." She was finally like, "Well, I guess I deserved that." Fortunately she managed to make use of her sense of humor.
MsWhimsy ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 02:03:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guest tell me I was the rudest person on the planet....
So I clutched my hands over my heart and thanked her like she had just given me the best compliment.
I probably shouldn't have done that but it did shut her up. Never got a complaint...I think she was pretty drunk.
For the record she was mad that she left her wallet on the table and when she came back to the very busy bar her wallet was gone. I worked at the front desk of a resort and when she asked me for her bag I thought she meant she checked one in with us. It was after she mentioned how we are all idiots that she said I was the rudest person on the planet.
EthanYouIdiot ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:34:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in fast food for three years. I was a manager for half of it. One day during a fairly busy morning. My lobby cashier had rang in an order wrong. The large middle aged man proceeded to tear into my 16 year old cashier. She was in the back bawling her eyes out before I even knew anything had happened. Now I'm not an aggressive person by nature, but I cared about my employees and made it a point that they feel safe. So I just about lost it on this asshole. The string of thoughts didn't have time to form, they just kind of blurted out all at once. "Do you feel good about yourself? You fat piece of shit. You just made a sixteen year old girl cry. You have to be over twice her age at least. Get the fuck out of my restaurant, and if you come in here again I'm calling the fucking police." Everyone in the building fell silent real quick and the guy ran the fuck out of there. Somehow it never got back to my gm, that or I didn't hear about it. She was a sweet kid, and people can be garbage.
Merakus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:38:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck yeah, good on you man. One thing I miss about working at mcdโs is being able to throw people the hell out.
TheCouchSitter ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:37:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as an advisor in the service department of a Volkswagen dealership. There was a VW called the Eos that had all sorts of problems its first (maybe only?) model year with leaky seals in the hard top convertible. So many of these cars came in with leaks.
So one day I see some jabroni pull up to the service department in an Eos. I greeted him and half-joked "lemme guess, roof is leaking?" He says "how did you know?" I told him "ah, man, these things all have that problem."
Guy threw a fucking fit that VW (via me) was acknowledging they sold him a piece of shit. Pretty sure he went to the sales department to continue his fit and demand they buy the car back. My service manager was not happy.
xTypoxDemonx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:38:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Overnight stocker for a store that was open 24/7, some kids, late teens really, were playing in an aisle and "pretending" to fall, recording it on their phones and as I walked down, I told them to "Go be stupid elsewhere". Luckily my managers are fantastic, so if they had complained, the managers more than likely would've told them the same thing lol.
ihate_avos ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not at work, but my friend's dad literally just died earlier that day and we all went to her house to support her and show our sympathy. Our other friend asked for a ride home (she was dropped off) and I asked what happened to her car. She said that the car finally broke down. I then said "So it finally kicked the bucket?" I was mortified. I think everyone saw the look of instant regret in my face.
FnkyTown ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:55:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Read the fucking manual". I thought I had put him on mute.. i had not.
Goodbye Iomega job.
Keithbaby99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:20:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a server at Denny's for about 8mo (the turnover rate is about 336% at the store, so anything over a week was actually great) and I was a very experienced employee due to my seniority at the store. But, this one table came in, they had 2 boys about 2 and 4 years old. The dad was a trashy guy, he had a grey, nasty Oakland shirt with stains along the neckline. The mom was just as trashy: makeup on her eyes from what looked like 3 days ago, and her hair was an ugly red, and greasy - trashy kids, trashy parents. They were yelling at their kids to shut up and to stop making Salt Zen gardens on their menus. Just being kids, you know? But you could hear the dad from across the store "Sit down you fucking kid!" They made a huge deal about waiting for their service for over X amount of minutes to my manager, which I later found out. They got their food late as well, and it was all messed up, of course because it's fucking Denny's and all the cooks are stoned to the bone. Anyway, they made this huge mess of syrup and napkins and soda all over the ground. I saw that they didn't even tip me and I whispered under my breath "thanks for the tip" in a sour way as the mom passed back from the restroom whilst leaving, she clearly saw me cleaning the disgusting mess too!! The family had left, or so I thought. When all of a sudden the husband comes in, a big 300lbs guy, comes stomping in and begins yelling at my manager saying "you want a tip?! Well here's a tip, have better service!! And have a better staff that doesn't dick around!! I'm not paying for shit because none of you do your job!!" Then, I said to my manager "yeah, I'm not kissing his ass for a dollar. I deserve better treatment and I can refuse service. I get paid $2.13 an hour." And then they fired me for not sucking up to the customer.
CoinOnTheRob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:53:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So the moral of the story is... fuck Denny's. Idk how they manage to stay in business
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:35:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty tame, but I'd been away from the phones for a while, and I answered my first call in months with 'Company Name, What's your problem?'
My boss looked at me and raised an eyebrow, I tried to correct with 'I meant what's THE problem'.
I was just rusty, since I hadn't done phone support since leaving for university.
Pravus_Belua ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:52:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked at a call center and had a call come in from an extremely upset women. She just went off on me and I could barely get a word in.
It goes like this for a few minutes when I finally got out something about it being quicker to solve the problem if she'd calm down and let us focus on it.
She yells at me, "NO! You're going to listen to me for as long as I want you to! I don't care if we're here all damn day!"
I shouldn't have, but in a flippant tone I responded, "Okay. They pay me by the hour anyway." Oops.
I didn't get in trouble in any formal way, but I was advised to be stop being a smartass.
LochJessMonster89 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:06:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work front counter at a Dairy Queen. One slow winter afternoon a guy comes in to the completely empty store decked out head to toe in camo. He started barking his order before he was even at the counter so I pretended to jump and said "Holy crap bud, you blended right in! I didn't even see you there!"
He was not amused.
dreamingofdarcy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 05:27:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My supervisor asked me if I would go help a member who was looking for a particilar wine in our wine section wearing a blue shirt. I found a blue-shirted man in the wine section searching and promptly went up and asked him without even thinking about it, ' Are you the one looking for the Menage a Trois?'....... Anywho, needless to say, not the right man.
SleepwalkingBunnies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:47:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work overnights at a large midwest convienence store chain.
About 3am im there alone and a dude comes in grabs a bunch of the cookies near the front counter and turns to walk out without paying.
I say loudly from about 15 feet away "Hey! You gonna pay for those?"
He turns around with a sneer on his face and pulls up one side of his hoodie to show me a large handgun tucked into his waistband.
I look at him and throw my hands out and say: "Really dude? Over cookies?!"
Yeah, probably not a good way to handle that. He just called me a bitch and walked out. Count myself lucky he wasn't in the mood to take that any further. Dude just wanted some free cookies.
SangEntar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like he's the little bitch.
Lumenarxus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:33:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work tech in an office store. I'd frequently get phone calls that were actually meant for the copy center, and I'd just transfer it - no big deal, right?
Well one day a customer calls and asks me if we print on pillows... To this day, I have no idea what died in my brain at that moment, but my brain kept thinking they were referring to some new type of printer or whatnot... so I asked, "what's a pillow?"
I'm assuming they thought I was messing with them 'cuz they just kept saying, "a pillow! a pillow!" without explaining to my nonfunctioning brain.
Eventually they just hang up -then I remembered what a pillow was...
evel333 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:34:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer with a heavy German accent. When I asked for his last name I could have sworn he was saying โHitlerโ. In disbelief, I asked him to say his name 3 more times. After the last repeat, I apologized and for some reason asked him to spell it. โH-I-T-N-E-Rโ he yelled. To which I idiotically replied, โOhhhh, Hit-NER!!โ
StruggleSnuggler ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:40:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables. Busy night, had a 6-top of 3 middle aged couples along with 5 other tables in an enclosed area. 6-top ordered another round of drinks but the bar was behind and I had food to bring out so it was going to be a wait even though I ordered them right away.
One guy from that party loudly calls me over and rudely says "Things are gonna get real ugly if I don't get my drink soon..."
Before I could stop myself I replied with sarcastic horror "Oh no, sir! Its already too late for you!"
All the guests nearby heard the whole exchange. Should not have said that. Then everyone in earshot started laughing hard. Except for him. He was SO mad and made it a point to cover the bill but not tip me. But his wife handed me a huge tip on the way out and said the rest of their party chipped in so it all turned out well for me. I thought for sure I'd end up fired instead!
BoltmanLocke ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:01:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work retail and just as I finish my lunch, having called my wife, I clock in and the phone rings. Some woman asking if we have a parka in stock. Check it, yes we do madam, we can put it aside for you to collect in store, okay great, see you then, have a nice day, bye, love you.
Ahhh fuck.
foreverlorn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 08:23:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An elderly couple came in to a restaurant I work register at. One of them was on an oxygen machine. They order and say they're going to sit outside, because "it's such a nice day, and we don't have many left."
So in my infinite understanding I respond, "Well, nobody knows when they're gonna go!"
Only after they left did I realize it was starting to get to the end of the fall season. They probably meant we don't have many nice days left in the year, not that THEY don't have many days left.
Oops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man I laughed at that ๐
foreverlorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I felt so horrible after I thought about it! But I gave them extra special treatment so hopefully that balanced it out
2016TrumpMAGA ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 02:36:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me (stoned teenager) to thirty something woman in the department store at which I was working as a stockboy: "Wow. Those are some fantastic tits." <brief pause, notice she's looking at me, kind of bemused> "I said that out loud didn't I?" Customer (smiling): "Yes."
CisBinaryWhiteMale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:34:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
And thats when the porno started
MagnumRiftHD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did you fuck?
AhhBisto ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:15:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When i was 15 i worked in a shoe shop at the weekends, and i was helping this woman out with a pair of high heels and said "Christ you have big feet for a woman".
It wasn't even that bad but she took it really badly and had a shouting match with my manager, so i had to work in the warehouse for 2 months after that.
StarBirb ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's..pretty bad, honestly.
7H3D3V1LH1M53LF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
PEGGY HILL
JuDGe3690 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 00:33:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked retail at a small theme park over the summer while in college. One of the stores sold a bunch of trinkets and toys, including those shrink-packed pajamas that expand to normal size when put in water, several of which had farm-animal designs, like cows. We also had pens with a little squeezable cow toy on the end.
So, this slightly plus-sized young lady comes in with her friends, and practically freaks out about how cute the cow-themed trinkets are. One of her friends said, "Yeah, she's obsessed with cows, loves them, can't get enough of them" or similar; without thinking, I immediately blurted "She even looks like a cow."
I immediately realized what I said and apologized. Her face took on a look of shocked hurt, and her friends started laughing. Thankfully she was a good sport and I didn't get in trouble (I was already on thin ice for my faster-than-mind mouth). I try not to be a horrible person, and I don't mean things like that, but my mouth has a way of saying things without realizing the full social import or effect.
lollypopsaregood123 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 02:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a server in a small restaurant.
One time I had a joker as a customer, and at the end of their meal I asked if they needed any change. He replied, โdo you think I should change?โ But instead of that, i heard him say โshould I leave change?โ So I answered โI really shouldnโt comment on that, sir.โ
Huge miscommunication but luckily he understood.
Sonocuoco ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:17:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt say it but my friend did. We worked together at a pizza place that our third friends father owned. We served slices as well as whole pizzas.
This one really nice older woman came in. She didnโt speak English well but ordered her food just fine. My friend then proceeds to ask her if she wants her slices โfor here or to go?โ The lady responds that she wants her slices โfor goโ in a thick Russian accent. My friend looks over at me as Iโm putting her slices in to the oven and says โI need two cheese slices for go.โ
We simultaneously start laughing and this woman is visibly embarrassed. I felt so bad but the fact that he said it without missing a beat caught me off guard and made me crack up. I hurriedly put her slices in a box and sent her on her way so that she could get the heck out of there. Poor old Russian lady. From then on we would ask customers if they wanted their food โfor here or for go.โ
Xerit_Zercher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:35:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a group home, so my "customers" are the kids I work with.
There was some sort of problem with our building's electricity, and I was checking the breaker box while explaining to one of the kids what it was and how - in theory - it should help me fix the problem.
Kid: "what if it doesn't?"
Me: "Then we're shit out of luck."
Kid: "....."
Me: "You didn't hear that."
(to be clear, with the kids I work with, it was highly unlikely he hadn't heard such language before. I just try to keep my mouth in check while at work)
Tooblekane ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:36:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pharmacy tech. Guy comes in and asks for a refill of his "Superman pill" and then clarifies that he means Viagra. I ask "Do you call it that because it makes you faster than a speeding bullet?"
crackernator ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:52:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While working in s restaurant, a guest pointed out a hair in their food. I looked at it, then said "At least it isn't short and curly."
dan2872 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one happened today:
At my store we have a frequent customer who's not entirely with it. Always asks for my name repeatedly, store hours, and will ask the same question with increasing fervor until he gets the answer he seeks. He's occasionally a nuisance with other customers, but never anything menacing. I'm generally very patient with him, he's not trying to be obnoxious and there's no point being anything but hospitable.
Today he's looking for History Channel DVDs. I don't have any, there are only 2 I can order upon searching. He asks over and over for historical places and presidents, only History Channel, and finally he seems to understand that there isn't one.
He then asks, "Any news on George Washington?"
"No, I think he's been dead for a while"
He simply replied, "Any new DVDs on George Washington?" without pause and with no change of tone or body language. I felt bad; it was hilarious.
KennyHatesYou ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:57:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Today, and every day.
I work at toys r us. After ever encounter with a whining guest I wish I would've told them to eat my ass.
Gambatte ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:00:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me, a tech, handed a phone: "Uh... Hello?"
Unknown Person: "What are you doing to fix the payment terminals at my store?"
Me: "Right now? Nothing."
Unknown: "WHAT! Why not?"
Me: "Because I'm on the phone, talking to you."
Apparently Unknown was the Operations Manager for not just that store, but the entire chain of stores. In my defense, I was already in my ninth hour of work for the day and the new fault meant I was unlikely to finish until well into the tenth.
I did fix it after I got off the phone, though.
Eventually.
SkywardSpork ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:39:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing door to door work for a charity, lovely gentleman answered the door with his young son, I said "My goodness he's big for his age, has as much hair as his dad does already."
Turns out the dad was going through an aggressive chemo course and lost most of his hair from it, I was the only one there but it still haunts me...
Acheron9114 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:42:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a waiter and a customer said the clam chowder was "too clammy." Before thinking I said "What the Hell did you think clam chowder would taste like?" Thankfully his wife burst into hysterical laughter and it defused the situation.
scallywaggin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:59:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not directly to a customer myself, but as a trainer. As hyperbole, I was making the point that sometimes customers who call for help will make you want to say to them "I want you to think about what you've done.", obviously, I wasn't serious, and the class had a laugh and we moved on.
Fast forward to being a team manager and there are a few people on my team that I trained. I'm listening to one of their calls, and the Agent says to the customer "I want you to think about what you've done".
Hooooly shit. Good thing they had great rapport by that point because the user and the agent had a great laugh and the agent resolved their issue. I didn't even have any coaching for him because the only reason he felt like dropping that line was because they'd been having such a riot already, so, hell, man. Go for it.
Ikeelu ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:13:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Slightly off topic since it was to a friend, not a customer, but I feel like it fits reguardless since it was definitely a "I shouldn't have said that moment."
House party at a friend's place. A friend of mine has gotten testicular cancer twice. A huge part of that is due to him smoking menthol cigarettes or good chance it is. He recently got his second nut removed and saw him spark up a menthol. I just got so angry in that moment. I just couldn't help think this is the action caused him to lose both nuts! How could he possible continue? I angrily said to him "how the fuck can you keep smoking that shit after all that? <Paused for a sec> "guess it doesn't matter, you can't lose another". At that moment I shocked myself and froze thinking "I should not have said that".
BeholdMyAnoos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gave me a good chuckle
SmokingTanuki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:14:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My summer-job is to sell touristy stuff over at the marketplace over here. This particular summer there was a huge Jehovah's Witness convention taking place in the city so we had a lot of them wandering around the place and one of them happened to come over to my tent. He asked how's the weather been and I answered them: "You are lucky to be in town this week, because last week the amount of rain and flooding we got was damn near biblical!"
Needless to say, that didn't go over so well, especially since I am a fairly staunch non-believer... The talking to I received for cursing and using the word bible in the same sentence was something else and then when I foolishly admitted to being a heathen (as he put it) it turned into a whole conversion attempt. My sales-persona unravelled after about 15 minutes and I got tired of his tirade so I exclaimed "If converting leads to spending more time with the likes of you, I'm sure to sacrifice a goat to pagan gods by tonight!"
It was pretty quiet in the tent for a while after that...
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:20:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer called and was angry he was being charged taxes on his cell phone bill. He asked me who he needed to talk to in order to remove the taxes and I said
"Your local congressman"
r0se_buds ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:44:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I run a diner with my dad, he cooks, I serve. One Sunday (our busiest day) I was training two new servers, and thus apologizing in advance to ALL my customers, telling them I may be a bit slow today. This one lady was absolutely livid at how long she had to wait for her order. She got loud pretty much immediately. I was staying as calm as I could (it's a small diner, everyone could see/hear). At one point I said "Ma'am I'm very sorry, I'm training two girls and doing the best I can" to which she said "No, you aren't." That was it for me. I said "Well if you'd like to get up and help me, feel free." and with that, she was a fireball of rage. She was SCREAMING in my diner, in front of HER kid, in front of other people's kids, I was basically talking over her asking her to leave repeatedly. When she finally left I apologized to the room. She tried to stick her head back in and say one last thing, but her husband pulled her out. Something tells me she's done this before.
cheesemas46 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:15:00 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once said that a certain girl resembles a bowling ball not aware that she was standing right behind me. This was in high school and it still makes me cringe hard.
cautiondrypaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does she look like Minnie? Mickey has 3 fingers after all
SangEntar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
She can take 3 fingers?
soulpush ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A Virgin Mobile customer called to get compensation for 3 hours in which she had no service a day that was stormy and snowy. After educating her about how the signal sometimes is affected by the weather, and how we could not compensate her as there is no proof of an actual outtage (the customer might as well simply stopped using her phone for 3 hours for all we know), she still demanded compensation. So I went all logical on her ass: โAlright maโam, so, you pay $35.00 dollars for a 30 day period; that is $1.16 dollars per day, which brings us to around $0.05 cents per hour, so your โcompensationโ would be $0.15 cents for those 3 hours you claim you had no service. Would you like me to give you a refund for $0.15 cents?โ After a few minutes of her yelling at me and at my supervisor I realized I shouldโve handled things differently.
HSoup ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:35:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer by a co-worker:
I was in my office when one of my very attractive co-workers came into my office to ask some advice. Her husband and her were thinking of buying a pool table and she was asking me because she knew I played a lot of pool.
I discussed a few of the more popular home table makers, but ultimately said that if they could get there hands on a Brunswick Gold Crown, it would be the best option. I began to discuss how wear-proof and stable they were, and because I like to use absurd comparisons (all part of my charm), I imagined that I was holding her by the ankles and swinging her like a bat against the pool table, but my mouth said "For instance, I could bang you against a Gold Crown and it wouldn't budge."
This was followed by a pregnant pause, where we were both analyzing what I just said (her with fear and me with confusion), when I broke the silence with "...you know, if I was holding you by the ankles."
More silence followed by an awkward "Well, thanks for your help." I just sat there, confused by my inability to predict how both statements we going to sound coming out of my mouth.
We didn't talk much after that.
TL;DR: Hot lady asks for my advice, I oblige using an example where I'm having violent sex with her.
strawberry36 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:14:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Several years ago, this customer was being overly particular about how I was doing my job. I had been there for several months already and she was genuinely acting as though I didn't know how to do it...needless to say I was getting annoyed with her. I tried think of a nice way to tell her I knew what I was doing (mistake #1) and eventually said, in a voice I thought was nice, but actually wasn't (mistake #2) that "I know how to do my job around here." (Mistake #3). You could've heard a pin drop...neither of us said anything, and there I was instantly regretting saying anything at all. She started being extra nice and sympathetic and said I could go get another employee to take my place if I wanted to, which made me feel like even more crap than I was. Eventually I finished helping her and she went to check out at the registers. I guess she never mentioned anything to the manager because I never got in trouble for it, but I never saw her at that store ever again.
DragonDeadite ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:36:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a customer just a couple weeks ago when one of our regular customers walks up and starts making sure I'm doing everything right. He says "Yup, that looks like it." And I respond with "Almost like I know what I'm doing, huh?" He walked away without saying anything else.
I've been doing my job for 17 years... people will always think you're doing it wrong.
mrmatthunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
What were you doing?
strawberry36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Cutting fabric.
killerbunches ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:28:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a clothing store and I once had a moment where I mixed two sentences together on accident because my brain couldn't decide what to say. The customer was very upset and instead of saying "is there a problem?" Or "what can I help you with?" I said "what's your problem?" I was very pleasant when I said it but the customer went absolutely beserk.
ThatOneGuyFromAZ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:02:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I sold computer parts in the early PC days. This person who was clearly a man dressed as a woman comes to my counter to check out. So I ask for his last name to look him up in the computer system. Letโs just say the last name was Doe. It just so happens there were only two names under Doe in the system, John and Jane. The naive man that I was, I asked โAre you John?โ His response was โDo I look like a John to you?!โ He then proceeded to be real shitty with me, which I guess is understandable.
Gantarris ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:10:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work for a large department store in the housewares area...we had some curtains on clearance and this lady comes up asking if we had more of them. I checked the computer and it showed something like 5 so I told her that were showing 5 pairs and that since they were a clearance item, they would all be on the floor...cue the bitching about there only being 2 packages.
She asked me to check the backroom, I explained again all clearance in home was on the floor, she kept going on about how she knows they're back there, even after I tell her I personally marked them down that morning and put them all on the floor. Which is when I screwed up...
I mentioned there was a trailer in the dock and that the way our computer system worked was anything in the shipment was auto added to our inventory and they might be in a repack box (box that has several smaller items combined in a larger box)...she wants me to check the trailer. I tell her the load was around 5k boxes according to the manifest...she doesn't care, I need to check them all for her curtains.
By now, I'm pissed, put on my retail smile, and told her, "Ma'am, you're welcome to do that yourself because I'm not doing it.". Turns out she was an undercover shopper and kept demanding my name, told her to leave the store and go straight to hell...got a written warning but it was worth it....
ohl00kasquirrel ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:27:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work in customer service life insurance death claims processing .... instead of telling the agent to expect the death claim kit (which I've said flawlessly a million times)... I said "death clit" and then went silent red faced while I tried to keep talking on hoping he didn't notice my mortification!
Trancefuzion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:59:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't talking to a customer. My girlfriend and I were walking around and saw this statue, it was kind of a weird abstract statue with figures in strange positions. I forget who said it, but one of us goes "Is it about sex?" Kind of jokingly. As soon as this was said this older woman walking by said incredulously "It's a Holocaust memorial." We both felt pretty shitty after that.
ghostgirl16 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:15:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know exactly which statue you mean- damn, son.
Trancefuzion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:33:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In Philly?
ghostgirl16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:42:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. I taught a semester on Night by Elie Wiesel and researched different US memorials and statues as well. Initially I thought you meant the famous one with the very tall, lean figures cast in a dark metal but then I remembered this one.
rustypharaoh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, overheard at a trade show:
At a safety convention in Philly, a Latino customer walked up to the booth next to ours. He told the exhibitor he didnโt speak English. The exhibitor replied, โLet me go get my coworker that speaks Mexican.โ
Instant regret.
otcconan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:48:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer said he was going to call our HR department, asked my name.
"Better than that, here's my card."
fairskies19 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:49:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At a book store, a young reader book was scheduled for release on that day. A woman came in to purchase it. I hadn't seen it, so looked it up in our system. Still in transit. Our delivery had been delayed (no reason given, of course).
Customer had a fit. Threatened to go to Barnes and Noble (next town over in the bigger city. About 40 minutes away).
My response was basically, "Go ahead. I have strep throat and don't want to be here anyway."
She complained to the manager, who shrugged her off. (of course because he did not want me to call in sick. Wouldn't that just be the worst? And of course I was a part time employee with no leave time)
GermericaGamer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:53:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in medical transportation of patients (kinda like ambulance light) in Germany. So I had this one patient with prostate cancer which has metastasised basically everywhere. Me thinking him already knowing that he is probably going to die soon bring up my grandmother which had died in 2014 with similar metastatis (dunno if this is the correct form/word). Anyway so he asks me what happened to my grandmother and me not really thinking about it told him that she died very quickly after being diagnosed and right after him telling that and seeing his face I knew that Iโd fucked up. I tried to make it better by telling him that Iโm not a doctor and that every patient is different but I still miss stepped badly. But I guess he is dead now anyway so this is my story of words of regret.
pricesb123 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:59:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Today I asked a patron, "How are you today?" He said, "Fine, and you?" I said, "Great, how are you?" I died a little inside.
Frederickanne ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:00:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mum works at a market on Saturdays selling flowers, but she also loves to bake. One of the other stall vendors was buying some stuff off her and she was busy so asked me to drop it off and grab the cash. I've spoken to this man numerous times. He's a lovely older man. I know he has a prosthetic leg and a cane. But when he was getting the money and made a joke about my mum 'having to send the muscle over to get the cash' I for some reason opened my mouth and said 'don't underestimate her, she'd chase you down and break your legs' And then I died right then and there. Rip in peace me.
kphly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:14:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer, but a patient of mine. I work in surgery. Monday morning my first case is an add on lap appendectomy. I look up my patient and of course heโs a young, healthy male, mid 20s (Iโm young female, mid 20s).
I go to meet him in pre op area and interview him. Go through all of my questions seamlessly, trying not to act flustered by his good looks. Finally, he asks if he can use the restroom before we go back to surgery. I say yes, but I always ask if the patient received any pain medications, as that can make them unsteady on their feet and cause them to fall. He tells me no, he hasnโt gotten any pain meds. My response, without skipping a beat is โgood because I wouldnโt want you to go down on me!โ He just looked at me and awkwardly laughed.
I could have died.
reverendball ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:38:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was bringing drinks to a table at a fancy dinner and a woman at the table pushed her chair out suddenly and knocked the tray I was holding, spilling the lone bottle left on my tray all down her back.
I apologised profusely and went and got napkins etc to mop it up and clean her up as much as she could.
After cleaning it all up, I asked if there was anything I else I could do for her.
She grumpily said, "Well making me not stink of beer all damn night would be a good start"
To which I instantly retorted before I could stop myself: "Done! That was cider not beer, Miss."
My eyes shot wide open at what I realised I had just said.
The look on her face was trying to make me spontaneously combust, so I left immediately and avoided that table like the plague for the rest of the night
pinelotiile ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:40:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter at a wedding reception centre. One table had had a bit too much to drink so I was asked to slow them down. An older woman joked with me about sneaking the table an extra jug. I put my hand up to my ear mimicking a phone and mouthed โCall Me.โ My intent was to imply โyou had to call me on my super secret phone and Iโll hook you up with a secret jug of beerโ but based on her confused and disgusted expression it came across as something else.
I donโt know what goes through my head sometimes.
spicywookiee ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:52:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIt really do be like that some timeโ, I said that to a woman after she told me how her day was going.
nickyobro ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:07:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer demanded an apology over the fact that she wouldn't be able to get her skis worked on faster without paying the premium rate, so she said "I want an apology. Like this "I'm very sorry for the way I've treated you."
And I just said, "apology accepted." And walked away.
Jago_Sevetar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:19:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a taco place. I have a worrying amount of stories where I either SHOULD have gotten in trouble, or barely restrained myself from making trouble.
In the first category: some drunks. Itโs 10:50 and weโre so god damn close to closing when they all stumble in. One orders the Roscoe; chicken, bacon, an egg, maple syrup, and a waffle on a taco. But he didnโt want the bacon, egg, or tortilla. Just the chicken and waffles.
โSo you just want breakfast? Thatโs why you decided to bother a taco shop thatโs about to close? Classy move.โ
A guy pays for his order, but it isnโt ready yet (call-ahead ordering). He asks me honestly, โAre you guys ever on time? This always happens.โ
โOn time? Nah, probably not.โ And i walked away. We were busy.
In the second category, and i swear this is true: a firefighter crew came in, on call. They check out the menu and one approaches me. โHey! You have a taco called The Republican. Itโs main ingredient is a sausage link. Sausages look like dicks. Are you fucking liberals?โ
The best thing to do there, I felt, was to not answer and stare unblinking until someone changed the subject. Which i did, which they did. Itโs a good thing I did too, because my snap-responses are never witty enough to fly. I was probably about to go with, โIf you wanna suck Freudโs dick and the GOPโs too, then yea I guess we are.โ
Doesnโt even make sense.
cstir15 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:38:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a manager at a country club. One of my members is former military and an all around great dude. He sits on the board of an organization that helps soldiers rejoin society and deal with thoughts of suicide. He himself struggled with it in the past. A few months ago, it was late and everyone was super drunk at the bar and I had sent all of the hourlies home. Heโs sitting at the bar with a woman who was also former military and was in his organization. They had mostly finished drinks in front of them and I motion to the glasses in an attempt to be casual and cool and say โoh, fallen soldiers?โ I still cringe thinking about it.
Frushtration ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:50:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a 16 year old I worked in a brewery/restaurant as a hostess. Normally I'd say my regular shpeel and be done with it, but one day I was seating this gay couple. People normally like booths so I walked them toward a booth and they started fawning over a baby that was on the way. When I got them to their table they were still talking about how cute the baby was, and you know what my conversation breaker was "if you abduct it, it could be yours". After that I quickly said our specials and ran away.
lioninn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:53:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I love you lmao
severus_goldstein ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:27:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am literally incapable of reading that phrase without it being in the voice of Hagrid lol
strawberry36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great. Now I am too. lol
Paydent12 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I wasnt the worker here, but one time my mom and brought my sister and i to grab some things for a trip we were about to go on. We were waiting in line and theres some hand sanatizer on the side. My sister opens it uo and smells it. "Mmm, this smells like heaven!" She said. "How do you know what heaven smells like?" I said. "I dont know" "it probably smells like a bunch of dead bodies, ya know"
Then the chasier stopped everything. And said "THATS JUST MORBID" and stared at us. We hid behind our mom and probably turned bright red
Calembreloque ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:31:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a school counselor for the NSPCC - kinda like the UK equivalent of CPS, for "troubled youth" and the likes. Lots of kids coming from fucked up backgrounds, poverty, abusive or missing parents, some kids with so little family around it's like someone systematically went and burned down their family tree. The one thing I was good at, really, was to find the one thing that would help a kid open up: even the most secretive, apathetic teen in the world usually has some sort of interest, hobby or even morbid curiosity for something. For some of them it was music, for others it was sports, a few of them it was graphic arts, but generally you couldn't go wrong with animals. Except if the kid had shown psychopathic tendencies, I would try and have them interact with dogs, cats, even a couple turtles, and it was so great to see these kids' faces light up and forget about their issues for a moment.
However, there's one time where one of the kids - he clearly had some developmental issues, which, considering his background, was understandable - just became obsessed, and I mean obsessed, with one of the shaggy dogs at the local shelter that we would visit once a week or so. One of these big goofy dogs, completely unaware they have fangs big enough to decapitate someone. And the kid would not. Shut. Up. About the dog. Every waking second I would see him he would ask how the dog's doing, is he being a good boy, does he like treats... I know I sound heartless but you've got to understand, he was literally on my case all the bloody time. So one day I snapped and told the kid that if he wanted to know more about the dog, he would have to bring it up with the owner, and give the kid a fake owner's name so he would go and bother someone else.
Next thing you know, the bloody kid and his only two friends went on a wild goose chase to find that owner "Nicolas Flamel" I had just made up, somehow managed to obtain the philosopher's stone and all in all prevented the return of Voldemort. Crazy year that was.
justtogetridoflater ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:51:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got a job at a shitty MLM thing over summer selling credit cards in the street, and I accidentally tried to sell a credit card to an old lady with dementia or something. It was horrifying. I knew exactly nothing. She just seemed like a relatively normal looking oldish but not so old lady. And I was being pushed to try everyone, so I was. She basically latched onto what I was saying and kept trying to sign up. It took me a few seconds to work out that she wasn't ok by which point it was a bit late . I was trying to turn her away, and I think her daughter was trying, and she was insistent she wanted a credit card. Eventually the guy who was supposed to be my boss managed to get her to leave, but I felt terrible.
Also, there was an autistic guy and again, I didn't know until I'd gotten into the pitch. He just sort of stood there silent and sort of confused as I started to introduce myself. And from the rest of the week, that wasn't unusual, because people don't know what you're doing, and you're not supposed to let them know immediately. So, I started, and asked him his name and shaking his hand, and his mum just went "Please no! He's autistic, leave him alone". And I just sort of apologised heavily, and he was still stood there for a few seconds before his mum carried him away. I felt like a proper shit.
Also, it was really easy to stop relatively youngish women. And also guys a bit too, but a little less so. I worked that out quite quick. But I feel a bit shitty knowing that.
Meeker0128 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:20:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a dog groomer, I told a man his dog's hair was "Wack". It grew in all sorts of directions.
Scrpn22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:42:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a Little Caesars, but we arenโt a corporate owned store, itโs a locally owned franchise, and we charge more for everything I know, bullshit right? Well corporate still sends out coupons that donโt apply to our store. Older gentleman comes into the store asking for an extra most bestest (he had pulled this stunt before, I wasnโt present for it but I had heard all about it) well I told him it was gonna be 7 something to which he slaps the coupon on the counter and proceeds to start yelling loudly and saying โNOPE, NOPE, ITS 6 DOLLARS IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE.โ โSir, we arenโt a corporate franchise and we donโt participate in this-โ โNOPE. IT SAYS IT RIGHT HERE. THATS YOUR ADDRESS! CAN YOU READ SONโฝ DO YOU KNOW HOW TO READโฝโ I was already having a rough day, so I just snapped. โYES I CAN READ SIR, CAN YOU HEAR? DO YOU KNOW WHAT ONLY AT PARTICIPATING LOCATIONS MEAN?โ Well this guy blew the fuck up. He started screaming bloody murder at me, getting in my face, all that shit. Thankfully my manager came up front and dealt with him but I thought he was going to fucking kill me
Wonderland_weirdo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:51:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had it happen the other day and was absolutely mortified.
I work in a bottle-o (liquor shop) and was chatting to a friend while I was working the counter, lady comes in with a trolley and starts loading quite a bit of product into it. She looked like she'd come in from the heat and looked sweaty, finally she comes to the counter and starts to rattle a list of different bottles that she needs off.
I grab the bottles and start scanning and like a smartass say 'Hey Party at your place!'. Lady looks at me with a numb stare and says it's not for that type of party. My stomach instantly drops and I realise what I thought was sweat is actually tears falling down her face.
She explains that her husband died recently and she's buying all this product for his wake. I immediately apologise for my behaviour & thoughtless words and proceed to die inside, knowing that my friend who is still at the counter is probably dying with laughter. I truly wanted to cry after this lady left my shop.
This is one of these moments that are going to keep me up at night.
cooliovonhoolio ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: You know, I don't have to spend my money here.
Me: Well we never invited you to.
Got a nice little talking to for that but she was harassing other customers too so it's ok.
allmackeverything ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:54:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A year ago I was waitressing and taking care of 2 tables โ a table Of six (parents) and their three 12 year old boys were sitting at another table across the room. They were in town for a lacrosse tournament or something. So I love kids and always get along with boys/guys so for some BIZARRE reason, when one of the moms asked if the kids were giving me a hard time, I replied: (verbatim)
โoh no, theyโre great! On the inside Iโm secretly a 12-year-old boy.โ
They stared at me. My manager overheard it and hasnโt let it go since hahahaha
nonsenseofsight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once worked in one of those parking booths at a big university (terrible job, but tons of time to read) . For the most part my customers were amazing but every once in a while someone would come through and โforgetโ their wallet. We had a system to charge their bursar account but it was a huge pain in the ass for everyone and I hated that it was literally only for students.... And Iโd give people a hard time... because 9 times out of 10 theyโd magically find their wallets when I pushed back.
The worst:
Her: I donโt have my wallet.
Me: thatโs not good... is there anyone you can call or...?
Her: No.
Me: Well I canโt let you leave without a method of payment so...
Her: but I donโt have my wallet
Me: Miss, what would a GROWN UP do in this situation?
Her: ...
She was NOT happy. Called management. Got a good talking to about it.... and a bit of a giggle.
dolphins3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:30:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a teenager working at a pool and covering an opening (5 AM shift). I was tired because I stayed up doing homework and I was doing this shift to cover for someone who had the flu. Some middle aged woman comes up to me and says "you look terrible" and launches into some prissy lecture about how unprofessional I am for looking tired and blah blah blah. Without thinking I blurted out "well, at least I look better than you".
She just about blew a blood vessel and screechily demanded my name. A day later my boss talked to me about it, apparently she had said I'd just randomly cussed her out and insulted her, so once I told him what really happened he just rolled his eyes and didn't care.
narcissalux ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:37:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a doggy daycare. This bitch comes in on the regular with her two boxers, insisting that they not be in the same yard because the male will mount and scratch the female. (We're like, okay, whatever, they live together, you bat.)
Anyway, we have three yards, large, middle and small. I put one boxer in large and one in the middle. At the end of the night, we condense our dogs, all large dogs from the middle go in the large so we can have the middle open for "no open play" dogs to go potty.
They aren't supposed to be together so we were rotating them an hour in the yard for each.
When she came to pick them up, she threw another bitch fit, saying that one boxer was up for too long, and she needed them both to be here today because she wasn't feeling well, and needed a break from their high energy. I told her, I put them in separately and rotated them. She called me a liar and said she had been watching for two hours.
I proceeded to mutter "Why don't you clock in if you know so damned much" as she exited.
Guess she didn't hear me because my manager hasn't said anything. xD
friedpaco ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:44:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My company sells toys to toy stores and other retailers. One toy in particular repeats what you say in a high pitched voice. A customer came into our booth at a trade show and threatened to place an order. On their way out I made a comment to one of my employees that the customer was bullshitting and would not return to place an order. I forgot the repeater toy was on and the customer heard the toys repeat of me. Needless to say, they never came back or placed an order.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:45:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My family owns a nails salon near a ghetto neighborhood, so a lot of the customers are rude, ignorant, and racist. One time, we refused to provide service to this drunk woman, she got mad and started yelling in the store. I asked her to leave nicely, but she did not want to leave and yelled at my face. I just snapped and said: โey yo bitch, get your fking stinky ass breath out of face and get the fk out of here! If you are going to act like an ignorant piece of $hit, then people are going to treat you like one. This is a civilized society, go back to your fking $hithole or wherever the fk you came from.โ I slammed the door in front of her face and locked the door. The customers looked at with fear and intimidation. I felt awful for saying those things. I guess after years of working at that place, my mind and body could not take it anymore.
Brownbuster ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:57:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I used to play guitar in a wedding band, and once the band leader decided to dedicate a song to all the ugly women in the audience (as the beautiful women usually always get the dedications), adding that โyou know who you areโ.
There was silence.
XxLOGANIDUSxX ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:02:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer. But in highschool the "your mom" jokes phase was in full swing. We had a classmate that came back after two weeks off from his mom passing awaw. We are at our lockers, and of course my dumbass fired back at him with a fat mama joke. I couldn't apologize enough. He was so super cool about it, he said he knew someone would say it eventually he was just glad it was a friend. I almost fucking cried you guys.
Unknownsage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:02:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in the parking lot at Disney (not gonna clarify which park cuz I think company has dumb policies). There were a lot of dumb/impatient/rude things I said. Especially when acting as the speaker on the back of a tram.
Off top of my head. One time the tram driver made a sharp turn. And I immediately got on the microphone and said โand you thought you were done with Space Mountain!โ Turns our a couple people almost fell out, we didnโt have the doors on trams yet, and were pissed at me and the driver. And security had to come file a report, didnโt get in trouble. But everyone in the break room called me an idiot for โadding fuel to the fire.โ
Another time, when dropping people off, I clarified to them the speed limit of the parking lot. And then added, โBe careful, Bambi already lost his mother.โ Nobody laughed. For either of the groups I used the joke on. Iโm glad nobody reported me.
Another time, when directing cars to park, we were told to parallel park them at front of lot, due to limited space. One guy stops me and asks, from inside his car, how we expect him to leave. He was actually asking about pulling out of the space. I thought he was worried about scrapping the car door on the curb. So I told him, โjust open your car door, youโre fine.โ You know when someone is wearing sunglasses but you can still feel their glare? Thatโs what happened and he was like โI know you did not just say that to me.โ And when he clarified what he meant I was like โoh.โ And rushed to check front of the car to clarify there was enough space.
I have a lot of cringe memories of me interacting with customers.
uniballer1986 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:04:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I managed a restaurant I had a customer eat his food and then complain it was horrible. I looked at him and said " If it was good enough to eat then it is good enough to pay for". I felt like an ass but the guy was so shocked as I walked away. He just paid and said nothing.
Ulysses89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:10:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Met a new coworker for the first time and while making small talk he said he went to Palmyra, New York for vacation and I said did you find any โGold Tabletsโ there? He the says โI am Mormon and thatโs offensive to me.โ
GamerRadar ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:13:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for GeekSquad as the Advanced Repair Agent. I was swamped with work but my desk agents had a long line, so I was forced to help them out..
I had a women in her 60s that needed a computer checked out (we finished working on it).. I bring it out, turn it on and show her that her internet connection was working fine... she proceeded to go to about 10-20 different websites and started to open every email she had on AOL that she missed...
I politely asked her to sign the paperwork which she kept responding with โI need to make sure it can get onlineโ My response? โMaโam itโs online, weโve literally wasted 15-20 minutes of you just checking your emails. I have other shit to doโ Her response was the typical โWhat! Iโll be buying my next computer from Walmart!โ Which I had to open my mouth and say โwe really donโt care to be honest, plus try getting the same level of tech support from Walmartโ
My manager wound up laughing at me and said if it werenโt my last week, and if they werenโt so behind Iโd be on a final...
OhImGood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working reception desk with another employee, when a customer comes in and hands me a piece of paper telling us that a car with that registration is blocking him from getting out. He then walked into my building (not back to his car which I should have paid more attention to).
Reluctant to give a customer announcement over the microphone for all the customers to hear, I allow the other receptionist to do the call. "Could the owner of the vehicle with registration NE14-ABJ please come to the reception, thank you"
Took us both a couple of seconds, but we eventually got it. The guy got us good. We work in a children's play centre.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:18:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many. Server stories!
I once explained rat kings to a table. They loved it but the people next to them.. did not.
I once said, "sorry I fucked up your meal" really sorry to a table. They got me fired for that one.
I was really stoned at work one day and just completely didn't know what a customer was saying. I apologized but uh... They hated me.
Not as a server, but once I went to a customer's place of work after my shift (I was pizza delivery guy) to apologize for late service. When she rudely dismissed me, I called her a cunt.
I uh... Have learned some lessons.
MoistLimpHandshake ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:22:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving an Indian couple at a bar and when they were walking away I said "thank you, come again" the way Apu says it in the simpsons. I don't know why I did it, I wasn't thinking at all
yourboyjackattack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my bartender friendโs experience. The resort we work at has a well-known cocktail that comes garnished with a little plastic pig (it has historical significance). Well one day he poured a glass of wine for a table and jokingly put a pig on it, thinking that the server would catch the error and remove it. She didnโt catch it and it was sent to the table with the pig on it. Turned out the customer had some extrapolation and thought he was subliminally calling her fat, a โpigโ if you will. Not at all the case, but I think he got a stern talking to about that.
zomofo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:30:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said "see you next Tuesday" to a client. He looked at me and I looked at him and we both knew but had to play innocent. He was a cunt though.
fancyflake ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 08:23:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I walked up to the register, holding a hat. I said to my coworker that it was the ugliest hat that I had ever seen. There was a customer in front of her and she had just bought that hat.
mattyIcethe4th ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 13:15:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school working a part time cashier job, I was ringing a customer up and I could tell she was exasperated and frantically trying to find her coupon for her purchase. It was store policy for customers to physically present the coupon so I just waited awkwardly while she fished around in her purse.
She then starts oversharing with me that shes been back and forth visiting her mom with dementia at the nursing home which is why she forgot her coupon at home. Thinking I would lighten the mood I said: "Huh, looks like it runs in the family haha".
I don't do customer service positions anymore
lives4books ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL!!
tmiller679 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working retail years ago, I had a kid (16?) ask me about the best way connect his iPhone to his car. I went over the various options he could use and ultimately said " it all depends on the deck in your car." He apparently misheard me and thought I said "it all depends on your dick."
VicDoom144 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:14:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve had plenty of snarky comments to customers I end up regretting. I get more satisfaction now in not allowing them to alter my good mood than to react with some smart ass comment. This way I feel like they didnโt have control over my own reactions.
Demothic ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:45:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a gas station attendant in a rural town (under 3000 people), after 6 pm we required that gas be paid before pumping. I was having a long shift as I was covering for the deadbeat, so was essentially working a double. The nights are usually dead and easy, which was good because at this point I had a pretty short fuse. For some reason people always tried to get the prepay, I assume they took it personally. This girl around my age comes in, she was from out of town, but funnily from somewhere I had gone to school, she asks what prepay meant, and I assumed she was trying to get around it like the others and I snapped "What do you think it means?" to which she stormed out.
MoistNugget97 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:39:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was thinking of a meme while serving serving food at mcdonalds. Fat woman with her vile bratty spawn waddle to the counter and say "I ONLEH GAWT 8 NUGGEHTS!". I'm still thinking of the meme, and instinctively say "It's our new diet plan, fatass"
WanderingFaerie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:00:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why but I read this in a Scottish accent lol
basieeeeee ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:40:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
didn't actually say it but I was working as a grocery assistant when I saw a guy with one arm walk by looking for something in the aisle, I nearly asked him "do you need a hand sir?"
theshadowaccount ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:53:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYouโre that bitch!โ
Obviously late to this thread, I would like to say the top comments are weak.
Christmas, 2012: Iโm working at a mall in Ohio watching a woman and her two male associates because I suspect them of shoplifting. She is checking out with several of those fucking annoying discover gift cards for 25$ each while her men walk around the store. She has all her bags on the ground behind the counter where I canโt see so Iโm very focused on the bags and the wandering associates. She leaves...
20 minutes later I get a call from a woman in Kansas asking about her card being used in Ohio... OMG that woman wasnโt using several discover gift cards, she kept ringing the same stolen card so as not to trigger the alert and I was too busy watching her friends to notice!
January 2013: a woman and her child enter my store to make an extraordinarily large return/exchange... I have a nagging feeling I donโt trust this woman...
โOMG YOUโRE THAT BITCHโ comes out of my mouth when I realize who she is... she throws all the clothes on the counter/floor and bolts out the door. Instant regret I didnโt excuse myself and call mall security...
LordMudkip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Shadowing in an emergency room, hanging out at the front desk and greeting people since the doctor I was following around was working on paperwork.
Man comes in with sick kid.
Me: Howโs it going?
Followed by immediate, โoh shit wtf did I just sayโ face.
I felt so bad and it was so embarrassing. Kid turned out fine though.
thedolphingangbang ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened a couple of months ago, I work at a grocery store and over time I developed a habit of just saying good things to customers. Eventually, comes in this funny old dude, me and him talk from time to time and then he brings up his restaurant. I (should have shut my mouth) said "I should go sometime" the guy invites me for the night and I don't go, things become awkward as the next week or so I see him and I don't want to go so I explain I'm busy and then somehow I get roped into going that night. I never go and I never saw the guy again but I genuinely feel really bad about it.
itsalwayspopcorntime ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:37:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
can i share mine that's not about work? i was in highschool and i was talking to guys a bit older than me, and one of the girls was super nice. we started talking about music because i was hosting a radio program and i had been interviewing bands. So I mention how this band's manager is such an ass and he wouldn't talk to me, and she's like "...that's my dad". i still see her and i still think about that moment. she was so cool about it too haha
shimokoo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:54:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When a customer told me โthank youโ and I said โyou tooโ.
Sleepmeansdeathforme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a call center and a customer was talking about Trump being in her city and how he was trash talking the city at a rally because they didnโt vote for him. Iโm in another state that was pretty much all Trump and knowing the call was being recorded by Quality Assurance I still said โWell unfortunately we did vote for him sigh.โ I paused as soon as I said it and thankfully the woman laughed.
Or maybe the time I accidentally insulted a girl who was talking about having just gotten braces. She sounded around my age (20) so I kinda laughed and said โYeah at this age I definitely would have opted for Invisalign. Iโd look ridiculous in bracesโ immediately wanted to take it back because the girl got kinda quiet. Felt like a major cunt. I was absolutely speaking about what Iโd personally do but I knew it came off as me judging her for her choice. Sorry.
1clericalerror ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker at the movie theater I worked at. We were both assistant managers at the time. Our theater had a small issue with mice in the theaters.
A customer had their bag on the ground during the movie. A mouse crawled into their bag. The customer didn't notice. Got in their car and was driving home when the mouse decided to jump out of the purse. Customer freaked out! Came back in super pissed. My coworker said "yeah, we have a problem with mice".
I would have said "Oh really, a mouse, where do you think it came from?"
We had a loooonngg corporate retraining meeting after that.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh back in the day when I worked at a record store, an exotic looking woman walks up to make a purchase. Trying to work on my customer service skills I asked where she was from, she said Afghanistan or something. I said wow, welcome to America! Then she proceeded to say she's lives here, and has since she was a child. I just put my head on the counter after she walked out.
squid1891 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of the numerous customer service jobs I had; was at an inbound call center for directory assistance when people were still dumb enough to have 2 dollars tacked on to their bill to inquire about a phone number.
Got a call from a woman trying to get the number for a Payless (the shoe store) in Manhattan on 8th and Broadway. After exhausting just about every search option I could think of, and not finding any listing (the management wanted calls to be done in a matter of minutes for effiency): I informed her as such.
Customer: "Don't give me that bullshit: I know it's there! I'm standing right across the street from it!"
Me: "Ma'am; perhaps you should cross the street, so you can go inside and ask them what their number is."
She, of course, got pissed off and wanted to talk to a manager. After I forwarded the call, I was told I'd be fired if I ever talked that way to a customer again.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mumbling "fucking princess" under your breath to a complainant.
haylibee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:18:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the beauty industry and a lady was asking me how to make her skin look young again. I started my answer with โwell, besides building a time machineโ...
Aleksander_Ellison ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"The mashed potatoes aren't spicy"
Apparently I underestimated them. They sent them back because they were too spicy.
It was literally plain red skin mash.
My boss yelled at me for questioning them
Relyks15 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't actually me, but I work at Chick-fil-a, and my co-worker was working the register. It's almost time to close, but these two girls walk in on their phones, barely noticing that no one was in line. We were kind of rushing to close, so my co-worker at the register says, "Hey, how bout you girls stop texting and order some damn chicken?" He has mild asperger syndrome so we kind of laughed about it, but I don't think the girls laughed too much.
A58547587 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Went to get my hair cut at the place I usually go. After my hair was cut and at the register, the 25ish nice young lady was ringing me up. They had a touchpad thingie that showed the price of the service and asked for the amount to pay. Remembering from the last time, the system really just wants the tip amount from you (it will add for you) and touch 'OK', I looked at the girl and said: 'You just want the tip, right?'
RevMeaty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a Jimmy John's for a while. When I was still newish and getting used to bar rush, I got comfortable talking to drunk college kids as though they were, in fact, drunk. Got a call to one of the dorms, and I could barely understand the guy (during a really busy time of the night, so I was a little flustered anyway.) I said to the guy on the phone "Haha, dude you may have had a little too much to drink, I didn't really catch that. Could I get the order one more time?" Apparently it was the dude working the front desk. He just had a really thickly accented and mumbley voice. I apologized, he yelled, my manager gave him a free sandwich, I apologized again. Good times.
MayorMcBees ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:56:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I manage a dispensary in Vancouver. I work a lot of 12 hour shifts and this was near the end of my 8th in a row so I was extremely burnt out. An older lady with rectal cancer came in and asked if we had any suppositories. I blanked at what that meant, said yes thinking she meant orally taken canna caps and when I was about to get them for her that lightbulb came on and I blurted out "oh you meant the ones you stick up your butt, no we dont have those". I felt really bad after though and sat down with her and helped her find a dispensary that carries them in the city.
Mimble75 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rude customer at the HMV I worked at - he'd been a total prick about everything: the prices, the lighting in the store, the placement of the anti-theft stickers on the CDs, the "tinny" sounding music from our sub-par speaker system, the way we had the music organized, etc. etc...
So he finally pays for his shit, and then informs me that he's "Never coming back to this shitty, poorly run, incompetently staffed, etc. hole EVER AGAIN."
I meant this as an in-my-head thought, but it slipped right out, and I said, "Don't do me any fucking favours, asshole."
He stomped off and, to my delight, never did come back.
Ralo13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a shitty overnight call center with my cousin years ago. It was often very dead so sometimes people would doze off with their headsets on in case a call came in.
Well, one night my cousin dozed off and received a call while he was audibly snoring through his headset. The customer on the other line heard him and asked โUmm, you sound youโre sleeping. Should I call back?โ. My cousin wiped the drool of his mouth and replied โ...yeah, hit us back.โ
The call was recorded, as they normally are, so he was caught red handed but only received a write up lol.
TellThatToMyShrink ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly a customer, but there was this super hateful elderly man living at an assisted living facility I worked at until recently. I was the only person working night shift and I was responsible for 20 residents, some more independent and others needing borderline nursing home level care.
Anyway, back to the hateful old man. Oh, did I mention he was a priest at some point? He was on fluid restrictions, so he had to be monitored because he would go steal other residents' water pitchers during the night and absolutely refused to let staff take his water pitcher to be washed and refilled. He wanted two in his room at all times, but we were told not to allow this, which I would explain to him often. He was always hateful about it, but one night I guess I had had enough so when he said his typical "Go fuck yourself" and "You and upper management can go to hell," I responded with something along the lines of "Sounds great, guess I'll be seeing you there." He then died from flu complications right before I quit. I felt kind of bad, but then found out others had said much worse back to him.
Working at that particular facility was soul-crushing to say the least.
KimcheeKense ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Earlier in the day a customer had shared a story about a piece of wall art. Composed primarily out of glitter, they would always shed fairly large amounts. The customer joked that her son had told her that glitter is the "..herpes of the craft world. Once you get exposed to it, you can never get rid of it." I laughed, the customer laughed. Good story.
Well I can't read a crowd apparently and decided this long skirted, cardigan sweater wearing, staid, home schooling looking duo currently checking out would appreciate this bit of information. So as I'm finishing their check out, putting their large glitter art in a bag, I say "So I just learned that glitter is the herpes of the craft world! You can never get rid of it!" Chuckling to myself, but hearing no laughter joining me, I look up to one completely appalled face, and the other lady cleared her throat and replied, " Well this is going up in our church so...". My smile disappeared. I quickly handed them the bag and wished them a great day.
Tl;Dr: Joked about glitter herpes to two ultra conservative women at work.
Rogu3Wo1f ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Recently actually, I work in an Outlet Mall, and a dude came up asking for even more of a discount.
'You can give me a better price than that?' He says, emphasis on the me.
'Why? Cause we're such good friends?' He then promptly left the store, and my manager told me I can't talk to customers that way.
Admittedly, the dude was asking for a discount on an item that was already 70% off.
FlanelHotdog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hotel guests refuses to look up a pizza place, I give him a recommendation and phone number. He comes back downstairs pissed off that I didnโt give him the correct number. So i gave him the same (correct) number again, and he gets it wrong an additional two times, i look at the number he is dialing and itโs not even close. I stand there shocked and point to his phone and ask him โwhat are you, just making up numbers??โ.
deeznuts44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:14:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work a drive through at a fast food joint. Girl sounded American with a bad British accent. I said, "Can you slow down please and speak clearly? I can't understand your fake accent"
At the window, I understand that she's a foreign exchange student from London.
mynickname86 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:16:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh! His just happened today!
So I work at a major theme park in Orlando. And this little person comes in. Then his son, also a little Person, follows. They are dressed alike. When guests enter in I tend to joke with them to start their day off right. And in a NORMAL situation what I say to fathers and sons dressed the same doesnโt offend anyone. But in this case....it did. I said, โI love that you guys dressed the same. Heโs like a little you.โ
He did not like this...
fusionman51 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I think โI shouldnโt have said thatโ a lot actually but I do it anyway lol.
Whenever someone ask me where movies or books are, I turn around and point to the giant sign usually 10 feet behind me that says Movies + Books and say โright under the giant sign behind me.โ
OriginalIronDan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:12 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I get that all the time. โWhereโs your restroom?โ Me: โBehind the door that says โrestroomโ.โ
Inigomntoya ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I help you sir?" I ask.
Woman with short hair turns around and glares at me.
I shamefully make way to the break room.
crystalistwo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'll be with you in a moment, sir."
Then I turned all the way around to see who I was talking to, and boy was she pissed.
RayTheBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"If you apply for our credit card you can save your mom $100!" The woman was not his mom. She was his wife. I have never felt worse about anything in my life.
L0U22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a one armed man if he needed a hand with his food.
birchburk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was checking out a customer and was just asking the usual questions. How are you? Did you find everything? He just replied with no, I asked him if he wanted me to call someone to double check for the item but he told me not to bother because he was in a rush. After he paid though he changed his tune, he told me my customer service was horrible and how I shouldโve doubled checked anyways and that he would never be shopping here again.
I didnโt say anything, just watched as he pushed his cart out but before he got out the door he realized there was an item in his cart we both missed. It was early in the morning so I was the only cashier and he had to come back to my line to check out. I was honestly just trying to make a joke and said โWhat happened to you not shopping here anymore?โ He didnโt find it very amusing though.
Littlewing615 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting on a two top- a girl and her gay male friend, both probably in their mid 20's. He ordered a rose wine, and she ordered a martini - "extra extra dirty, lots of olives - I love when it's salty!" Without even thinking, I said with a chuckle, "Men must love you!" Thinking they'd, ya know, laugh.
They didn't laugh. And my heart pretty much stopped as my gut hit the floor. #whoops
sSommy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy came in, had a shopping cart but only a couple small things. He's a regular, young guy, him and his girlfriend walk everywhere, so I joked "Gee a cart just for that?? "
He says "No the cart is to help me walk because my fucking leg hurts". (Not cruelly said, just in a voice of pain).
Turns out he'd fucked up his leg and had a huge cut, had just got home from the ER. I felt horrible but he took it well, I apologized profusely and thereafter asked how his leg was, and he showed me his gnarly scar.
uupb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:42:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long explination about how we didn't have time for his gfs walk in makeup appt. He was rude and agressive to my coworker. I can over with the same explination about how we were booked. He says "ugh! Are you serious?" Me "no im f*cking with you"
Doneuter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:43:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working tech support
Cx "I'm blind and need help with my phone"
Doneuter "ok do you see the icon that looks like thi-"
aqu4man ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a client that managed an assisted living community. As usual, I ask what kind of things worry her at work. She tells me that her number one concern is an elderly resident with dementia wandering off. Now, what I meant to say was, "I can't imagine what it would be like to have to care for actual human beings when I can't even keep my dog in the back yard." What came out? "Wow, yeah, I totally understand. My dog is always escaping the back yard." Everyone in the room just stares at me, and can't believe I just equated all these seniors to dogs. I wanted to die.
Viral88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:47:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working the customer service desk at the smallest Kroger in town, we get quite a few calls from people pretending to be from Western Union (money transfer) and try and smooth talk us into loading prepaid cards without realizing what we were doing.
Being the sarcastic ass that i am, i play along for a minute until they get frustrated. Dude on the other end of the line says something along the lines of "are you an idiot?" I respond with "suck my left testicle"
Customer i didn't see walk up to the counter just looks at me, straight faced, and asked why i was so partial to my left testicle. -cue mortified face-
Thankfully nothing was mentioned to management
shyphon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:48:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first day of work at a grocery store, I had an elderly gentleman customer ask me where the hot dogs were. Not knowing where they'd be, I started looking around and saw a sign that said hot dogs. Being awkward teenage boy, I said "uhhhhhhh, probably over there under the sign that says hot dogs." I didn't mean for it to come out sarcastic, but oh boy he was upset.
He was not happy about my snarky attitude.
S1enga5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a nice restaurant as a waiter. We were short on staff, so the service was quite slow that night. A group at the table started to complain to me that they have been waiting for their food for more than 30 mins. My response was: "This is a restaurant, not McDonald's".
They looked shocked when I said it. Just then it hit me how rude that was..
TheCalgaryJames ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a teller at a bank. We always had old people who, for whatever reason, just refused to show ID. It would drive me insane. I mean, itโs a bank! Surely, some level of security is expected...
Anyways, this incredulous old dude comes in and refuses to give me ID. After a bit of back and forth and me explaining why ID is necessary he pops off with โIโm a seniors advocateโ as if that means anything.
Without even thinking I reply โseniors advocate? Is that the same as being a grumpy old man.โ The guy just harrumphed and walked out. Immediately I was aware I shouldnโt have said that... still felt good tho.
Cockroach-Boy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:55:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What do you like to eat here?"
"I don't."
That, or a table that was very jokingly ribbing me. It was in good humor and I was joking back.
Wife: "Ignore him, he's an ass but I'll make sure he tips well."
Me: "Degradation for pay? That comes dangerously close to my side hustle."
Luckily they took it in good humor but I don't think my other table did.
SusmariosepAnak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was interning for a political campaign and was assigned to phone banking that fateful day. Essentially, I was given a list of phone numbers and was told to follow a script when calling people to see if they had turned in their mailing ballots. A gentleman answered and when I asked if he had turned in his ballot yet, he said โI just got diagnosed with prostrate cancer. I am trying to enjoy my last few months. I have no time for ballots.โ
Now there was nowhere on my script with how to deal with prostate cancer, so my brilliant and socially adept ass simply said โOh, well good luck with your prostate cancer!โ And right as I hang up, I hear โwhat the fuck did you say?!โ
And that is why I was told I could no longer phone bank for that campaign.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My favourite from retail was middle-aged women/men basically demanding discounts at the counter. I'd give them anywhere from $2-$5 dollars off. On the receipt I have 'Pensioner's discount' as the reason. Sooooo many angry people.
Katherraptor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Serving at a popular food chain a customer asked "where are your shrimp from?" and given it was the end of a busy night I was tired enough at the time without thinking I said, "I'm not completely sure but I would assume the sea."
They stared at me for a couple minutes before I mumbled that I would go ask the kitchen.
StarsRTheBest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, I had a customer who was making everything difficult and she complained that her food was taking too long. I responded, โoh donโt worry miss, we want to make sure you are able to eat and then leave as soon as possible.โ
Her friend was holding back a smile and she was pissed. She didnโt tip me.
AlfredsStache ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I were lucky enough to work together at our first job after being married. I had already been there for over a year, and was on great terms with the managers. A customer walked up, and was frustrated about...something. Anyways, the customer gave my wife her phone number for the rewards and my wife accidentally mistyped it or something and had to void the ZERO dollar transaction with no payment or item on the receipt, and tossed it in the trash. The woman yelled at my wife to dig it out and give it to her. I saw the whole thing and walked up, when she yelled at me as well. I told her, "No. That's not necessary. It's a zero dollar transaction void and doesn't have your info attached." She gets more mad and says, "Oh! We have an attitude, do we?" I mocked her and said, "Oh! WE have an attitude, do WE???" Then I proceeded to print a copy of her receipt to shut her up, and handed to her. But I did so as a knight would do handing a blade to his queen. I took a graceful bow whilst handing her the receipt, and leapt away with a feeling of glee. Nobody talks to my wife like that and gets away feeling like a winner. My manager walked up, and I said, "Well, I've done my part. She's all yours now." My wife was almost in tears because this woman went from 0 to 100 when it came to yelling. Over a receipt. With nothing on it.
JohnTho24 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:01:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bakery, and every Saturday we use the oven to make pizzas. But we only do it on Saturdays and we only make 50 pizzas, so we have a pretty regular customer base. Well this woman Nicole always calls and orders a pizza and picks it up herself. One day her husband came in and picked it up instead. I knew it was him because her name was on the order form He leaves and I (a 19 year old male college student) say that he, (dudes gotta be at least 45 and definitely has kids) say Nicole's husband is really good looking. I turn around and the guy had forgotten something and was standing right there. They didn't come back for a while.
chibewa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Game Stop and a customer wanted to trade in games but didn't have a license. He said "Man why do I need a license. I'm an adult" to which I said, "If you were an adult you'd be able to prove it with a state issued ID" we nearly fought in the middle of the store.
jacksavvy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:04:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was serving this very elegant, lovely couple at a restaurant I used to work at in Minneapolis. I felt slightly awkward around them because they seemed so graceful and high brow. They both were wearing really unique eye glasses, so in a terrible effort to make small talk I asked them if they โowned an eye glasses store.โ Not only did I word it like an idiot, but a better question wouldโve been if they were optometrists or something like that.
The wife stifled a smile, stole a glance at her husband and slowly said, โUm, no. We donโt.โ
I later found out the guy was Jim Pohlad, the owner of the Minnesota Twins (MLB), with his wife.
For the record, theyโre incredibly lovely people and I served them a few times after that and they were always very nice.
RickSanchezMofucka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So there's literally only 3 of us where I work at. We have this this where if someone asks who someone is we reply with "the guy your sleeping with" example "johnny says" who's that guy" I say " the guy your sleeping with" bear in mind it's just between us employers. Anyways a customer came in and sounded exactly like one of our people and asked who the other guy was. I said "the guy your sleeping with" naturally and then I turned around. It was someone else entirely and his girlfriend was just staring at him with her mouth wide open and the dude was like wtf man.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer called in nagging about having to pay a late payment fee, and his bill had overdue balances that led up to about $400 dollars. After screaming about how we werenโt treating him fairly he asked me if I had that kind of money to pay for bills. I said โ Well sir I never let my bills pile that high so I havenโt been in that situation before.โ Honestly would have been more empathetic if he wasnโt such a cunt.
pentalones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:08:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a bank teller, and when people want to know their balance i will ask if they want me to say it out loud or written down for those more private folks. This lady came in with her son, and she was blind. She asked for her balance and I asked โwould you like me to say it out loud or write it down?โ She replied โwell if you could tell me please I canโt seeโ I felt like shit. It was just something I am so used to saying it just came out..
Caymonki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was cooking pizza on an action station at a busy ski resort. A couple at the bar were watching me while drinking several cocktails. At one point the woman asked me "how do you stay so calm? It's so busy, I would get flustered". Without realizing it, I blurted out "I smoke a joint on my drive in, and another before service, keeps me super calm". She looked at me like I was crazy. Luckily her husband laughed.
They ended up leaving a note for my boss saying "We appreciated the happy pizza chef, he made our night". To which my boss asked me what I did. Because people left notes for him about me often, but they are never good.
Lomonosovo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I started serving two years ago, and I was pretty nervous asking customers for their ID. After three months I started getting into the rhythm of things. I work in a pub so I have to ask frequently. A couple comes in and I ask the wife for her ID. She doesnโt seem too happy that I asked. Most women are flattered when I ask. I was confused and tried to make the situation better by making a joke. She hardly hands me her ID. I see the year that she was born and it was my mothers birth year. I say โHey! You are not that old, you are as old as my mom!โ. She instantly starts crying and leaves the booth to go to the bathroom. The husband gave me the most fowl look. I just walked away thinking โWhy on earth did I say that?!โ
shortpoppy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a kodak store while I was studying for my degree. I only worked on the Sundays. Mostly, a Sunday consisted of taking passport photos, and helping customers download photos off of their phone to print out. We also do scans of older photos. A woman comes in to collect her photos one day, and I hand her the package with her name on it. She lets me know that something is wrong with her order. So I tell her there's a couple things we can do. I can phone my manager, she can come back into the mall during the week, or I can do some kind of discount - not much, mind, because I don't want to lose my job. Apparently, none of these are the right answer. She starts fighting with me, while other customers are in the store and starting to notice. Eventually she tells me she "Feel(s) like you don't give that much of a damn!" So I tell her "Lady, I work here one day a week on minimum wage to pay my bills. I don't know what to tell you." I was then reported at the mall service desk. Fuck that lady. Fuck that job. Something about personal photos made the customers so aggressive from the get go, and I'd often have to spend forty minutes per customer trying to help them.
L4dy_St4rk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:12:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a bookstore and a gentleman was talking to me about learning sign language. I asked him what got him interested in learning about it and he told me his sister is mute. I replied "oh, that's awesome!" and tried to save it with "I love people who are different!" ... He just kinda stared at me like the buffoon I am. From then on I have made a conscious effort to stop calling things awesome out of conversational laziness.
Bloodywizard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:17:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one hurt.
stalinBballin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but an old coworker. A customer was returning an item and he spoke very broken English, so she was trying to be accommodating. When she realized we couldnโt take the item back, the customer started back talking to her.
She was trying to say something to the effect of, โIโm not trying to rip you offโ or โIโm not trying to be a jerk hereโ.
She ended up saying, โIโm not trying to jerk you offโ. Absolutely hilarious, but luckily the customer, because he spoke so little English, he brushed it off. She was embarrassed the rest of the day, but did laugh it off eventually.
Imaginaut27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:21:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at my first restaurant job and a couple of weeks in. I had a table of three...middle-aged parents and their young daughter. The meal goes on, and at the end I said,
Me: Did you save any room for dessert? Wife: Oh no, I'm stuffed. Me: Well I guess I better mount you then! crickets Me: You know, like taxidermy? crickets Me: Uh, I'll get your check.
They complained to the manager and he came close to firing me, but I convinced him not to after I extensively explained the joke as a reference to taxidermy.
3lmusic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A regular came in and I asked him how his day was going, and he replied "you probably don't wanna hear about it" but he seemed bummed out so I thought maybe he just needed to get something off his chest and probably said something like, "if you wanna talk, I'm hear to listen" Then he told me that he and his wife had a baby the previous evening. I quickly replied "OH! CONGRADULATIONS MAN!"....and his head kinda sunk and there was this really uncomfortable pause and he just said: "It died"
An_Anaithnid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An African dude came through checkout with a Coles trolley (I work at Woolies). Now, I regularly make little jokes if people give me a Coles bag with something along the lines of "Nah sorry mate, can't serve you with that bag!"
So I glance down at his trolley, look him dead in the eye and say "We don't serve your kind here."
Pause.
Shit.
nebula4364 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:24:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at this coffee shop and we closed early on Christmas Eve. I was in a big hurry because I had to drive the four hours home right after my shift and we were incredibly behind on closing thanks to my boss saying he didnโt do any of the inventory count or stocking because he โdidnโt want to confuse meโ Cut to us finally locking the door and getting to work on getting everything clean. All of a sudden a man starts banging on the door. I wave him away and return back to my work. I donโt like opening the door after we close because we have a lot of drunk homeless people around who make really creepy comments about all of the female workers. anyway, then the phone rings and I answer is to let whoever it is know that weโre closed so they donโt have to waste a car trip or if itโs possibly my boss checking on something. Then I hear banging again and see the man has returned to the door and is pulling on it with one hand while holding the phone in the other. He yells venomously into the phone, โyour door is locked! I canโt get into the store!โ To which my smart mouth instantly replies โyeah thatโs the best way to keep assholes like you outโ Cue that guy standing there until we were done closing and me having to call the cops and explain to my boss why the police were dispatched.
pakiranian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:26:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My wife was serving and approached a table and immediately started coughing profusely. Before saying anything else to them she tries to salvage the situation by saying, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not sick, I just choked on my spit."
AnthonyMiqo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:28:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I haven't had any moments like this that stick out in my mind. The only one I can think of is one day many many years ago when I was working customer service at Wal-Mart. A man came to the service desk and was claiming that a drill he bought was advertised for $40 on the shelf, but that he just paid $70 for it. So I explained to him that I would need to call the department and have them check for me.
So while they had me on hold the man was talking to me and he told me that "It's not about the money, it's about making things right." To which I replied "No it's not about making it right, because if the prices were reversed and it was advertised for $70 but you only paid $40 then you wouldn't be here." I never got in trouble for it though, but afterwards I thought I definitely would have been talked to at the very least.
ProffesorBongsworth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Super cute girl who I was helping for a good 20 minutes asks to use our restroom that's employees only. I say sure it's this way. As she goes in and close the door I say "have a good one." I cry at night
ilovethePNW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a medical office so this was with a patient:
One if the questions we ask when rooming patients is if they have any hobbies, and if so what are they (this is at the request of the doctor i worked for to help document the patients functionality/activity).
Anyway, so I am rooming this guy and ask if he has hobbies. He tells me that he likes to collect baseball cards, basketball cards and football cards. For some reason I reply with โwell, you just like to collect ALL the balls, donโt you?โ
I am not sure if he was weirded out, didnโt notice, or was just being kind, but he didnโt say anything after my comment. I still had to take his vitals and the whole time it took everything I had not to bust up laughing at myself.
Captnshmorgs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Disney selling merchandise. One day Iโm working at a cart in Asia, tossing a stuffed cat back and forth (you know, so I wouldnโt blow my brains out from boredom). Later, I switched to tossing a different stuffed animal around. A group is walking by, and one of the guys yells, โHey, what happened to the cat from earlier?โ And all sense of being a Disney cast member flees me, I wink, and say, โWelcome to Asia.โ
Thankfully, the group just laughed, and didnโt complain about me to guest relations.
gruffz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:33:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm absolutely useless at talking to people and often say dumb stuff or just brain fart because I get anxious. Exchanging pleasantries with a customer I went to say 'lovely, thank you' and of course I looked them dead in the eyes and said 'love you' to which they gave a nervous laugh and hurried off while I pondered throwing myself into the ocean
Philieselphy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I usually worked days at a burger restaurant, but one time I was working at night. Some customers leave and I start to say "thanks for coming, have a good day" when I remember it's night. I try to switch but my mouth is already at "day" and I end up wishing them a good diet. At a burger place.
faihker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:34:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt exactly understand it wasnโt something I should have said at the time... I worked reception at a primarily business hotel in the centre of London (UK). A lot of our guests were foreign, and we were greatly encouraged to try saying their name. This man seemed friendlier than most, so I give it a try. He makes a strange, strangled kind of look. He thanks me, goes to walk away, pauses, walks away, laughs. Then comes back to tell me what name I really called him.
Turns out I cheerfully wished him a goodnight by calling him something along the lines of โMr Shitter.โ
I never tried again. One of the most polite, warm guests.
ijustwantanfingname ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Giving change to a customer, two dimes were stuck together. Couldn't separate them.
What I thought I'd say:
What came out:
_Altered-Perception_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a major department store when I was 16/17 as a cashier. It was around closing time, and I had a lady with her two young kids try to use a stack of coupons she had clearly stolen off of a register counter where we keep them (about 10-15 coupons) all at once for one purchase. I told her that I could only use one coupon per purchase and she became infuriated and told me she wanted to speak with my manager, even though it said clearly on the coupon the same exact thing I was saying. I radioed for my manager and of course she told her the same thing I told her. She went on a rant about how we didnโt know how to do our jobs, and they let her do it at the other stores, and how sheโs never shopping with us again, and started to walk to the door. Me, being the smart ass teenager I was at the time, told her to have a nice day in maybe a slightly sarcastic tone on her way out. She then proceeded to tell me โyou better shut the hell up little girl before I come back and beat your ass.โ I had security walk me out to my car that night. Edit:Spelling
helixpea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at GameStop and a dad comes in asking for a popular Mario game on Nintendo64. I casually say โOh, youโre thinking of Super Mario 69.โ He goes โWoaaah, I want to play that game.โ I turn super red. It just came out so naturally. facepalm
ahhgene ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened two days ago: Women asked for $40 cash back, but I was out of $20 bills and $10 bills so I gave it to her in $5 bills. She said โitโs better than ones!โ I said โyeah, I guess that would be a little suspicious.โ She was in her 70s. I insinuated that a woman in her 70s would be stripping....
FoxySpookyMulder ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a pharmacy tech and I remember one day I was on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation they said โgoodbyeโ and for some goddamn reason I replied with โI love youโ. I think they didnโt hear me, or acted like they didnโt hear me, which was totally fine by me.
skyburnsred ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a cigar shop that a lot of your run of the mill rich local guys hung out in. Only was there for maybe a few days. The local police chief came in and was introduced to me. I don't really like the police and he was giving me weird looks the second he came in (probably cause I was new and stood out) and he shook my hand.
I turned to my coworker and said "I feel like I have blood on my hands now" and the chief heard me, but I was pretty sure he didn't.
Sure enough he immediately calls the manager from the lounge and then confronted me about it. I didn't really know what to say because I didn't really think about how stupid it was.
Anyway, I got fired the next day deservedly. But whatever, fuck him.
ericjaywrites90 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking care of a patient who had cancer and she had lost her hair due to chemo. I was taking routine vitals and I said โIโll just check your vitals real quick and get out of your hairโ she didnโt say anything, but I face palmed myself later.
SquirrelTale ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:38:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, let me readjust that so I don't crush your blue balls."
I was talking about a customer's ornaments on a box. Thankfully she laughed and said thank god she wasn't a man.
Sydro_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:41:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a Manager at GameStop for over a year before I got fired for not coming into work because I was too drunk off of Four Loko.
Anyways, Animal Crossing: New Leaf came out that day and I was opening the store. There was a large fucking line outside mixed with kids and adults. My initial though was,โholy shit. Weโre defiantly not going to have enough copies for the weekโ. Within 3 hours we sold all the fucking games. It was nuts.
So the afternoon arrived and two ladies walked in in their 30โs. They were looking like โWalmartโ. Overweight, butterfly tattoos on their cellulitical deltoids, tank tops that did not cover their stomach, and the idgaf attitude. They come up to the counter demanding the game. So told them, โsorry we ran out of copies this morning. Maybe another store has it.โ
Thatโs when all hell broke loose.
This moment is tailored to my brain til this very day.
As she stomped her feet with one hand grasping her cracked discontinued iPhone and the other hand pointing at me. โWhatchaโ mean your outtaโ copies? This game just fucking came out. We went to 3 stores and they said the SAME DAMN THING!โ
I believed her. She smelled like liquid ass with her pores perspiring slowly over the newly cleaned carpet. She must have been looking high and low for this game.
I said, โMaybe if you leave my store right now you can find another copy at a different store.โ
These were not women anymore. No. They were animals. They began destroying the store. Knocking shelves upon shelves of poorly alphabetized games. โWHERES THE GAME?! YOU GUYS HAVE TO HAVE IT SOMEWHERE?!โ is what one woman yelled flailing her arms on the shelves of 3DS games mustering the strength to overcame the weight of her cellulitis.
2 minutes later they stormed out of the store, but not without taking the Animal Crossing promotional poster.
I should have just went into the back room like a good manager and just the dust settle, but no. I had to challenge the Animal Crossing fan base. That was the moment where i began to look differently about people who like Animal Crossing. Theyโre all wild fucking animals.
gy123 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One day while cashiering a customer asked me how I was, and noted I looked bored. I don't know what came over me but I just gave this ugly toothless smile and said, "Oh no, I'm good, I'm just slowly dying inside." They looked pretty uncomfortable.
vladlx992 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in IT, basically giving them any sort of time frame on something you have no idea how to fix.
ShadowCaustic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt directly say it to them on purpose, but I did speak it directly into a mic that they were ordering from. I was still an associate manager at sonic drive-in. At the time I was the primary opener. Opened with this guy, KC, this was about 0600, so right at fucking open.
These two guys walk up on patio, and push that red button without a second of hesitation. โThank you for choosing my sonic and making it your sonic, my name is Ryan, what could I get started for you today?โ They go on to order the #16, a bacontoaster sandwich, with tots for each, and two drinks. Then move onto the #3, again for both of them, with slushโs on these ones. After that they stopped being so decisive about what they wanted, and instead remained silent without giving any indication of whether or not the order was done. I ask โIs there anything else I can get for you this morning?โ Another second of silence, and then I hear, โand two 5-piece chicken dinners!โ
I hastily reach up to my headset and did what I thought was mute my headset, little did my grumpy, drowsy, dumb self know, I didnโt even hit the damn button!! As soon as I thought I hit it though, I looked over to my left and said to KC, โFucking Christ Dude! These motherfuckers are ordering breakfast, lunch, dinner and god damn dessert!โ
All I can hear immediately afterward was them hysterically laughing, I immediately muted the headset and told KC what just happened, and he just laughed. I gave it a minute, then unmuted the headset and ended the order like I hadnโt just blurted out a surefire way to get my ass fired. I even took their order out to them after we finally got all the shit out and they didnโt even mention it.
I never got a complaint, boss never told me about two guys or anything... so it appears they understood how annoying that shit is.
s-boi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a car wash in high school. I was standing outside with some coworkers when a older woman approached me. She asked "do you smoke" to which I responded "smoke what?"
GWAPPOW ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a couple who were roughly the same age as me, (26) and I asked them what they wanted to drink. The guy got a draft beer and the girl said "i'll just take a water, because we're expecting!". Since I'm super immature and forgot people my age start families and have kids I blurted out "OH SHIT!" and they looked at me really awkward. Still left a good tip though.
2Ben3510 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't the one who goofed, but the morning of the burial of my friend's dad, we went to a RPG shop where we were regulars and used to hang out.
When the shop owner saw us dressed in suits, which was definitely unusual, he jokingly greeted us by a loud "Why are you dressed like that, going to a funeral or what? ", to which my friend answered in a deadpan manner "yes, my father's.". The look on the owner's face was something to remember
windywiIIow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a local shop. When Iโd finished scanning all the items and gave the total she said โyou forgot my cigarettesโ she hadnโt actually asked for any. My reply was โah Iโm so sorry my telepathy isnโt working todayโ
She left the shop looking like she was trying to work out if she had been insulted or not and I was mortified
rnykal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
if I could share a story for the reverse of the prompt, I walked into a coffee shop and the girl working behind the counter was pretty attractive. I order a latte, she asks if I want anything else on it, I ask what they have, decide on cinnamon.
While she's making it, we're making small talk, I ask how long this place has been around, say it's a nice little place, etc., then, running out of things to say and really reaching, I drop the bombshell: "Do you work here?"
She's like "Did you just me ask if I work here?" with an incredulous, amused face. I'm like "uhโฆ nah, I asked how long you've worked here."
But she totally knew lol
mcglynn1813 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:45:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad, not me, worked at a hot dog place in high school. Apparently one day this customer, older white woman continually had problems with her hot dog, and brought it back three separate times. By the third time, my dad was pissed and asked her โWeโre the hot dog palace, what the fuck do you want from me, lady?โ Needless to say, he got fired.
nostr8s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in hospitality and during my first year of working in hospo the place I worked hosted a 70th birthday for someone really well known in the community and so there was a lot of people there. A bit of chaos ensued and it was a very long night.
Most people had left but there was about 20 people still drinking and eating from the platters we provided for them. These ladies probably in their late fifties thought it would be a great idea to start chucking food around when they thought we werenโt looking. I told them off once, firmly but politely and they acted like it wasnโt them. I of course had to clean up the food theyโd chucked around and then I got distracted by something else I had to do. About 30 mins later a younger trainee remarks to me that theyโre doing it again and so I reiterate to these ladies that itโs unfair what theyโre doing and if they could please stop. They admit to actually doing it this time and help me clean it up again. By this point Iโm thoroughly annoyed.
Here comes the part where I fuck up. I have a short temper but Iโm usually pretty good at staying calm. But these ladies started throwing round food AGAIN. Something switched in me and I went into a bit of a fit of anger. I stormed over to their table and told them that they are acting like children, this is the third time Iโve had to tell them off and I asked them to โplease act your fucking ageโ. They all looked a little shocked and I stormed off to go calm the fuck down. When I came back to the floor the ladies came up to me and said that what I had said was โthe best telling off theyโve received since their mother passedโ. Probably the weirdest reaction to your waitress swearing at you but to be honest if they complained I have a strong feeling my boss would have fired me. He never found out.
TLDR - swore at a group of customers who were throwing food around and told them they were acting like children. Instead of complaining they thanked me for telling them off. Swiftly avoided being fired.
Aimingforsuperior ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:47:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a barista. I had just taken an order from a woman named Gina. I took her cup, put it at the bar for my friend Josh to make. I thought Gina couldn't hear me and I said to Josh "Gina isn't bad, you should ask her out". Gina heard me.
mordecai98 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:49:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A long time ago I worked at a place that sold a specific niche of books.
. A guy called an ordered a book. We were out of stock. When it came in, I called him to see if he still wanted it.
His wife answered and said that he had recently passed away.
I responded, "Do You want the book?
Bighero612 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at one of the holiest fast food restaurants. Anyway I was having a less then stellar day. I was on my least favorite position (window) and had been there for about 8 hours. Its a saturday, during lunch, and were already behind. This lady pulls up and is rifling through her purse to pay (she's had about 5 minutes to find her money from ordering to getting to the window). Finally she looks at me all gloomy eyed and tells me she doesn't have any money. I give my fake cheerful smile and tell her no worry ill pay for it. I would do this guite often especially in these situations because honestly it's just faster. But i turn to my co worker and bad mouth her, i know the customer couldnt hear me and I was frustrated so I vented.
Fast forward 2 weeks later and my boss tells me someone mailed me something to the store. That lady sent me a thank you card and repayed me for her meal. I felt so ashamed of the way I acted towards her while feeling something else completely. I think about that a lot and something that should have have brought it me peace brings me discomfort.
Glock2puss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once was exhausted in the drive thru at work and was trying to read the order back to her and casually let out a "alright here's your fuckin uhhh oh crap sorry I didn't mean to say that" thank GOD she was one of the cool customers who understood.
Other than that I pretty much haven't regretted anything I've said. I meant it all.
ASsimilate88 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:50:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a large bookstore. Every March there's a huge sale, and the books we can't sell steadily drop in price the longer we have them.
This older gentleman comes up to the counter with one of the books on sale, it says (approx) 2$ on the cover. I scan it, and it registers as 1$ in the system, and I happily say to him that he's lucky, since it's even cheaper! He looks at me in a weird way, pays, and leaves the store in a hurry. My colleague comes over to me laughing, and tell me to inspect the book I just sold... It's a biography about the guy I just sold it to... I felt so bad the rest of the day.
garthmuss ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Posting this a bit late, so doubt anyone will read it. I worked at a coffee shop for a while, and one day an older white guy came in and asked for a large drip coffee. I replied 'room for cream?' He said, 'no thanks, I like it black' I replied 'tall black and hot, same way I like my women' I immediately wondered what happened to my thought-to-mouth filter. I grinned. He didn't. Didn't get fired though, so all is well.
IlleterateWarrior ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Your bestie was my ex.
donjulioanejo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:15:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a DevOps guy (so a guy that does computer magic bullshit) for a company that processed a lot of payments. We had some trouble getting a new type of online money transfer going with Western Union, who are a major client, on the order of several million a year revenue just from them, which was quite substantial for us. At this point, it got escalated to one of their VPs (basically the guy in charge of either their development, or IT infrastructure) so he could put some pressure on us to fix our shit.
Our developers narrow it down to a certificate trust issue on our side (basically, it's like whitelisting someone's phone number in your call blocker so they can get through.. imperfect analogy but close enough), and I'm the guy responsible for managing this part.
Cue about 40 minutes of troubleshooting with me and one of their engineers, with about 10 people in total on the call. Myself, two of their tech guys, a couple of our developers, a few project managers on both sides, and the VP in question.
At some point I get a Eureka moment and I figure out where the issue is, so I tell everyone to hold on while I try something. A few people go "OK dude cool, we'll wait" and everybody goes silent. I hover and click the mute button in Go2Meeting and start trying stuff. 5 minutes later I get somewhat frustrated, as it's still not behaving as I expect it to, so I start complaining out loud, to the point where it sounds like this:
"Why won't you work you fucking bullshit piece of stupid Java shit everyone fucking hates, which fucking cunt designed it this way..."
This goes on for a good two minutes until finally, with a "Holy fuck, I can't believe this shit fucking did it... Dumbest fucking thing ever" I get it working.
So... I'm finally elated and as I go to unmute myself.... To my absolute horror, I realize that I never actually clicked the mute button. Which I immediately make known in the most vocal way possible..
"Oh shitfuck. I think I forgot to mute myself."
...I think this is the only time in my life I legitimately felt I would die from embarassment, to the laughter of basically everyone on both sides.
AllieGordey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:16:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was putting this guy through my till. He paid with his debit card. When I grabbed the receipt I gave myself a papercut and bled on the guys debit receipt. To this day I have no idea why I didn't throw it away and print another one. I just handed it to him and said "don't worry I don't have aids."
sparrows_and_arrows ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:31:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a printery. I was explaining to a customer the different styles of binding our printery offered. I was trying to say "PLASTIC FRONT, CARD BACK" but it had been a long day and I got all tongue tied.....I ended up telling a customer that our binding has a "PLASTIC CUNT, FRARD BACK" I was dying inside as the customer was hysterically laughing.
HawkeyeSucks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:39:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine, sadly. My stepsister was a nervous flier as a kid, so decided she was going to ask a flight attendant a few questions to put herself at ease.
6-year-old her toddles over to the attendant, puts on her best talking-to-grown-ups face, and says "Excuse me. How often do your planes crash, please?"
Flight attendant: "Just once, usually"
They looked horrified, my stepsister started crying, and my mother's still laughing nearly 20 years later.
Blazenix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:45:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first job selling, working commission one of the lines my boss told me to say was. "Doesn't this shirt look slimming?"
Needless to say I said this to a, not fat but not exactly thin girl. She looked pissed, promptly unhanded the shirt she was browsing and left.
Lesson learned, I became more aware of what to say to people.
Potato_Chip64 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:46:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in the electrical department of a hardware store a customer was looking for a shallow electrical box as there was limited space, as I later found out. I ask - "Can I help you find something?" And he says "I only have 3 inches..." I interrupt him "Most guys don't brag about that." Fortunately he started laughing. Turned out to be a great guy.
stimpy0821 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:15:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Registered just to post this horrific story... you know that tshirt with the Notorious B.I.G. wearing a crown on it? Well, one night I was working my second job at Ulta. I was exhausted after working my main job all day long. A girl came up to the register wearing that shirt, and in my exhaustion, I looked at her shirt and said, "Oh, are you going to see him when he comes to town next week? I am and I can't wait!" She gave me this look, shook her head, took her stuff and walked off. Well, in my exhaustion I had mistook poor Biggie for Jay Z. I'm pretty sure she thought I was just another white girl who thought all black people look alike, but I truly just made a mistake. I KNEW it was Biggie, I had seen the shirt before, but I just completely had a moment of idiocy. It was horrible.
Vaenessa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:16:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a 999 ambulance call handler in the UK and I had a caller ring about a lady who had fallen over. He said โ I have to tell you, she has weedโ And I said โ marijuana!?โ โ No , the other kind, she is 83!โ โOh, sheโs urinated...โ
oniiesu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:23:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my first jobs was at Firehouse Subs. This day I was working on the line/steamer section and there's this guy who's been standing in front of the counter for a while. I mean I've made at least 3 orders and he's still there, looking confused. So I made the mistake of talking to him.
"Hello! Can I help you?"
Little did I know that I just activated an impotent rage bomb. The guy starts screaming at me. I forget exactly what he said because it happened 15+ years ago, but I do remember him ranting that I need to mind my own business and him constantly repeating "I can fucking read!".
He lays into me for what I believe was about 2 full minutes before demanding to speak to my manager. By this time my manager has already come out and was standing next to me. They go off and my manager calms him down while I go back to work. Guy orders a sandwich and my manager makes it for him.
After the guy leaves my manager calls me into the cash office and I think "Fuck, that guy convinced him to write me up." We sit down and my manager asks me where I parked. "Oh shit," I think, "I'm getting fired!"
I stammer out that I parked in the corner of the parking lot, across from the store. My manager lets out a relieved sigh.
"Good, I was going to offer to walk you out to your car at the end of your shift, but I can see that from the inside of the store. That guy was after free food and you did nothing wrong. I didn't give it to him and I think he blames you for his plan failing because the entire time he was eating he never took his eyes off of you and it was like he was trying to develop psychic powers to crush your head."
I had not noticed this at all and I was confused. I thanked my manager for looking out for me and I went back to work. By the time my shift was over, I had forgotten all about it again. When I walked to my car, I looked back and my manager was watching from the front window. Great guy.
I left several months later and he got fired for bringing in chicks after closing and banging them in the cash room. Still a great guy.
good_sandlapper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:02:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a jewelry store when a lady came in to have her rings sized. She couldn't decide whether she should have it done or wait until she lost the weight from her pregnancy. She called it baby weight. I love babies so I starting asking about her baby. She said, "Oh, he's six years old now." I said, "Honey, that's not baby weight anymore. That's your weight." She left immediately.
Sort_of_awesome ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a 911 dispatcher for a rural fire department. A lady called that a dog was stuck under her house/trailer. I told her to call animal control. She said, โno, this is what the fire department is for!โ
I then asked her, โMaโam, is the dog on fire?โ
No.
โThen call animal control.โ
SSexpress ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:20:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was bartending and a young couple ordered from me. She says, "we have a tab open. Last name Hughes, like Howard Hughes." I say "Oh the crazy guy with the long nails who pees in jars!" She walks away, guy says "that's his granddaughter."
wingardiumlevi-no-sa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:46:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I manage a boutique lingerie store that also sells sex toys, lubes, game etc. I was showing a customer a lubricant we sell, and got her to feel the consistency, then offered her a wet wipe to clean off her hands. Roughly 5 min later, I'm showing her one of the vibrators we sell, and I got her to feel the strength of vibrations of one of them with her hand, and she let out what was almost a moan. I joked with her like "haha, do you need a moment alone?" and then without thinking followed it up with "...Do you need another wet wipe?"
Thank god she took it well and we both absolutely lost it laughing but it's probably the filthiest thing I've said to a customer.
flowersandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:22:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a bank in high school as a teller. We had some big accounts that were with construction companies, so the workers would come in to cash their paychecks. The construction workers had a bit of a reputation for flirting with the female tellers, and this one in particular had taken a liking to me. He seemed about 30, and one Saturday he came in to cash his check. On Saturdays we only had two tellers up front since they were typically slower days. As I was handing him his cash, he said he wanted to ask for "one more thing" which happened to be my phone number. I believe I was about 16 at the time, so I did a nervous giggle and my naive self just bluntly said "Oh, thank you, but I'm too young for you!" Immediate regret. He just kinda laughed and walked out, but he didn't talk to me much more after that. The other teller exploded with laughter once he left and never let me live it down.
Asylem ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:04:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer and his son were at the counter renting movies. His son was maybe 2 years old and had on his Sunday best, and me, being 16 years old and full of hormones, HAD to walk over and say hi to the little guy.
His Dad laughed and said, "Oh he's cute now, but he can be a little monster, I could honestly use a break. Maybe I'll just leave him here with you guys". (jokingly of course).
Then, for reasons beyond me, I said, "Nah, let's have [co-worker] watch him while we both sneak out of here"!
I seriously have no idea why I said that. I meant more like, "I'm could use a break too! But not with you!". The Dad laughed nervously and quickly left. It's been over 10 years and I'm still cringing about it.
simonm17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:42:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Couple walks into the restaurant with their toddler. I ask them what they would like to drink. Instead of effortlessly executing the question โwhat can I get for this little cutie?โ I say โwhat drink can I get for.. this?โ
I came off so wrong
MrPureinstinct ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for a major telecommunications company in the US. Less than a month on the floor by myself a customer comes in throwing a fit about something. Starts asking for a manager and the only one in the store at that time was my store manager.
He asks me to get her probably four times, each time I go ask her to come talk to him and she keeps making up excuses or telling me to tell him the same thing I have been. Obviously dude just wants to hear it from a manager because I could never know the same information as her and if she would just tell him herself he'd probably shut up and leave.
The fourth time I come back and we're waiting he asks "Is your manager just too good to come talk to me or something?" I looked him dead in the eye and said "I guess she is man." I was fed up at that point with both of them and just didn't care at that point.
He started screaming at me along with all of my co workers before we finally just told him to get out and never come back.
Probably shouldn't have told him that, but it was how I honestly felt, so you can't fault me for lying to the customer.
DankAssKeefSlump ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was this dude about my age (mid 20s) that came in that looked just like customgrow420. He seemed like a really chill dude, he looked kinda high too, seemed cool enough. He came up to my register to order and I said to him "hey man you ever seen customgrow420? You kinda look like him" and he just gave me this incredibly befuddled gaze. After a brief moment of silence I said "what up YouTube YouTube YOUTUUUUBBEE!" with a smile! He then says to me, "wow, that's actually pretty offensive."
So I told him his total and he reluctantly gave me his money and that was it. I then realized I probably should've apologized him.
stormkeeper ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:02:57 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was to a manager...This woman had a very unfortunate body type. Like an egg on stilts. She comes in to work one night bitching and moaning (as usual) about how she thinks she's pregnant and doesn't want to get fat again. Without skipping a beat I replied, "Again?"
Cogarent ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:33:35 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working a register at a convinence store and this guy come walking up with his friend with a case of beer. One of them had a broken arm in a cast and i was making conversation and asked how he did it.he said "oh something stupid but this beer will help."I ended up saying "oh trying to break the other arm to." They both toon it really well but i felt bad enough to apologize for letting it slip out.
docta23 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:01:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked at a movie theater, a couple of girls came up and got pretzels. We always ask if they want salt and cheese, but in my head I was thinking itโd be funny to ask if she wanted semen on her pretzel. Apparently I actually said that out loud because my co worker came up to me and said โdid you just ask her if she want semen on her pretzel?โ The funnier thing is we would heat up the pretzels in the back for about a minute, so after asking her that I said โokay Iโll be back in a minute with that.โ
chanesully ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:42:43 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell hiking boots and thus far I have somehow managed to keep anything from coming out
criostoirsullivan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:52:30 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Keep the tongue where it belongs.
melissapete24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You literally made me groan out loud, so although I want to downvote you, I can't help but upvote you instead, you horrible fiend.
theferlyone369 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in auto insurance claims. I recently had a customer who was rear-ended by a tractor-trailer. Her car was demolished, but she walked away with only some soreness the next day. In an attempt to be sympathetic, I told her I had been in a couple of accidents myself, and โthe day after, you feel like you got hit by a truck.โ Open mouth, insert foot. Fortunately, she had a sense of humor.
BoogleChews ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:46:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a manager at a family pizza store. A lot of the time I'm the only employee there, as it's the slow season between Skii Season and Summer.
An older gent came in and asked for a slice, and wanted a bunch of toppings added. Normally it would be a dollar more for the toppings, but this guy just wanted about half an onion sprinkled on one slice of cheese pizza, so I charged him 2.50 more. He went ballistic, asked to see the manager, yada yada.
I said, "sure, one second". Ducked down behind the counter, and rose back up. "What can I do for you?", and he straight up walked out of the shop.
dasoberirishman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for one of those wine making stores. The kind where you put the ingredients into a carboy, we stored and took care of it, and then you can in and bottled it.
I got to know some of the customers quite well, as many were social, retired, and made a lot of wine for parties. One woman called to place another order, and I blurted out "Wow you sure do buy a lot of wine!"
She took it as me saying she was an alcoholic.
My boss was not pleased.
wossquee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at the dearly departed CompUSA. I was once selling a father there with his daughter a flash drive, he asked me if this brand was good and I said, "Yeah, Sand Dicks are a good brand."
tommygunz007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was honest at the restaurant. I almost was fired.
Restaurants have their 'new guy' on the cook line Sunday nights. Food is not going to taste as good or the 'same' on Sundays. Plus, all the food is either out of stock (86) or is near the end of it's lifecycle.
Being completely honest (and I should have lied) she called and complained and my boss who got fired, wrote me up for telling the truth and that I should not ever have that discussion with anyone.
Granted, I was knew to the biz back then, and have never said anything related since.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an unnamed leisure centre in the UK/Ireland. We deal with quite a lot of Roma children - no racism intended at all but they can be very difficult to deal with. They always snuck in jumping gates etc to play football on our 3G pitch, etc etc.
For a few weeks, we had the same group again and again sneaking in. They pretended not to speak English when you told them off, before screaming โfuck youโ etc etc when security were escorting them away.
One day, I was on an early shift. I came off my early shift and stuck around to meet a friend. During this time, I changed out of my uniform, however stayed in the staff area talking shit with mates. We suddenly get the call over the radio โis anybody free to deal with the kids, theyโre out playing football in the staff car park and theyโve hit a few of our cars alreadyโ.
At this stage, numerous factors came into play;
my cars my pride and joy and Iโve spent a lottt of money on it
I had dealt with these kids too many times recently, and mainly
my early shift had left my with an oncoming migraine which eventually left me bedbound for the following day.
This all resulted in me sprinting to the staff car park after getting the call, with a fellow member of staff close behind. Upon seeing the kids, I should โBOYS!โ They look up.
โIs that a football pitch youโre all on? No? Then fuck off and go home, I donโt want to see yous back here againโ
Turned around to see my coworker staring at me open-mouthed. I shrugged. To this day nothing came of it and it was still the best feeling of my life. I donโt regret it one bit the more I think about it. Still probably shouldnโt have said it but fuck it.
I_throw_socks_at_cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:21:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was manning a tech support line. A customer called up and started complaining about the wait, and how it's an elementary business practice to staff to the number of expected calls and we were losing business through customer dissatisfaction and blah blah blah... I couldn't get him to focus on the problem he was calling about long enough to describe it to me. And it had already been a long, shitty day.
Eventually I snapped and said "Okay, the next time the CEO drops by the call centre to ask me how to run his company, I'll tell him that."
The customer got very quiet and let me fix his problem.
the_machine1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:59:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a store, but I worked at my local camp for a few years.
My boss had the bright idea to let awkward 16 year old me work at the desk for the entire summer. One day, this kid went on a biting rampage. Chairs, kids, teachers, walls, everything. Parents had to be called and it was an ordeal.
This lady came an hour later to pick up this misbehaving human. I never met her before so she had to sign some forms. She was impatient, unkind, and kept insisting that this kid was an angel. She handed me back the forms where upon I saw that she never specified her relationship to the child.
I grabbed a pen and asked, "Are you the mother or the grandmother?"
The girl who was at the desk job with me almost spit out her coffee in laughter. The lady gave me the nastiest look that lasted for an eternity. Finally, she said, "I'm the mother."
This was the third week out of eight for camp. I had to see her face on and off for five more weeks. I died of embarrassment every time.
ChuckDawobly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:26:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but when I worked at a bar, a guy ordered some shots from one of the bar girls, he was a bit pissed so when he handed over the money he knocked the shots over. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, he said "pour me 4 more". No "please", no "sorry for the mess" etc. She said "Oh I can't do tha...." and he said "pour me 4 fucking more shots!".
I was listening in and said to her "you can go and serve someone else now, I'll sort this out" and I just snapped and leant over the bar and said "who the fuck do you think you are you rude cunt? You can't speak to people like that when you're the one who knocked the fucking drinks over, no get the fuck out, and if you've got a problem I'll happily join you out there".
Never before or since spoken to anyone like that.
Aaaaaanyway, turns out he was in a group that had a bar tab of about $3k that day..... Owner found out. Owner was a lunatic at the best of times.
He waits a few days to speak to me and finally one afternoon I'm cleaning glasses and he says "ChuckDawobly, come outside with me". I was thinking "great, at best I'm fired, at worst he fights me".
We get outside and he puts his arms around my shoulders, I semi-brace for the punch to follow, and he said "now, ChuckDawobly, I know none of these other pussies keep control of anyone in here, but you can't go calling everyone a cunt, no matter how much of a cunt they are. But I appreciate that you're the closest thing to security we have here. Just keep in mind, this isn't the rugby pitch."
So I guess you could say I regretted it for about 3 days.
kale_quinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a movie theater as a server, we typically can handle serving 35 guests with the help of food runners and this one night I got sold to 45ish I think. I had hardly any help running my food and drinks so I was freaking out a little. This woman comes out of the theater maybe 10 minutes after the movie has started and starts screaming at me that she hasnโt been greeted, I apologize and explain that Iโm by myself which is why I accidentally missed her. She does not care, she starts going off about how she works and hooters, she knows what itโs like to be a server and being over sold was no excuse. This rant keeps going and she must have said hooters another 10 times, then finally I cut her off and say โI donโt care! I do not care if you work at hooters!! This is not hooters!โ Then some how this got translated to โI donโt care about my jobโ so she asks to speak to my manager. My manager proceeded to take care of her throughout the movie, and she continued to be awful even though she was getting a free tab. Bleh.
Stammbomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a server/bartender at a casual pub. One day i was serving a very nice elderly couple who were asking how big our cinnamon rolls are. without realizing it, I put my hands down near my genital region and expanded my hands, and then began to say "its about... That big. Well... Maybe a little bigger". Then continued to wided my hands near my crotch. The gentlemen had a good laugh but his wife looked a little mortified with my description. I saved it by saying ".. the cinnamon roll, that is" Which in all honesty wasn't the best save.....
jeffsteez__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have two incidents in mind, neither of which I said myself, but nevertheless, hilarious..
First incident: When I was managing a cell phone retail stores a few years ago, a lady came in to cancel her late husband's cell phone contract. We require a certificate of death as proof in order to cancel out the remaining subsidy. One of my sales guys, who isn't always the sharpest tool in the shed, looks at the certificate with the date of decease and says to a lady, "damn he had a long life". BOOM, everyone in the store goes silent. To this day, I'm still facepalming.
Second incident: While working at a car rental company years and years ago at a busy int'l airport, we would only guarantee a vehicle size/class for 2 hours past the reservation time. One time my coworker beside me was assisting a shorter than average person/semi-midge. Well, turns out she booked a specific vehicle class we didn't have, and my coworker says, "it looks like you've got the short end of the stick, we only have minivans left". I burst out laughing while trying to walk away..
SIM0NEY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at Rent-A-Center.
"We take the money you pay us for that PlayStation and use it to buy four more PlayStations."
Only regretted that till I went into "fuck this place" mode, then I let the truth bombs fly.
chitonya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:54:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a police officer to go fuck himself.
While working box office on a busy Saturday night in a cinema, I has a customer and his girlfriend come to buy tickets. He was a police officer and therefore entitled to one free ticket (cheaper than what I got as an employee) for a regular session. He demanded a free ticket for his girlfriend too, which I couldn't do. I took his badge to write down his number for our records, then he tells me he needs two tickets to a gold class screening that's starting in 10 minutes.
Gold Class is more expensive, better seats and food/drinks sent to your seat during the movie, and is not something he nor employees get for free. On top of this, the session was sold out since it was starting soon and most tickets are pre-booked online. He seriously demanded I kick two people out who had already paid so they could see the movie. I was gobsmacked and explained that I would not be doing anything of the sort.
He looked at me, full of rage, and said "why don't you just go fuck yourself?!". I, blinded by shock and anger, retorted as he turned around to leave "why don't you just go fuck YOURself?!". I didn't just say it though, I yelled it. The whole auditorium heard. Silence fell. He turned back around and looked about ready to jump over the counter. I met his gaze and left the box office area. About half an hour later he came back and I was terrified he was going to complain or arrest me or something but he apologised. I realised it was probably because I had his badge number and could have easily made a complaint about him too.
SquidHatGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:55:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"And you know what to do if you get a girl pregnant."
"Push her down the stairs?"
...the woman I was talking to was in a wheelchair.
rcmhd88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐๐๐
dianite1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Tim Hortons; Customer approaches: Hey! How are you doing? Me: Hey, I'm good! How are you doing? C: Good! thanks, How are you... (stops) We both laugh, one of the best interactions I'd had at that place
MostlyJust_Lurks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This woman called my pet store, angered by the female manager she had just spoken to about returning a chinchilla. She says, "I want to speak to a manager! NOT THE BITCH!!!"
I instantly cracked up laughing. Said female manager was a bitch and everyone hated her. I connected her with the general manager, a decent guy. He calmed her down and told her to come in later to do the return. That lady was super nice to me every time she came in after that. Bitch manager soon got demoted for some other bitchery she did, transferred stores then was fired.
jenitlz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:56:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once accidentally said โI love youโ when hanging up the phone
-SPUDS_McKENZIE- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:38:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That was me. Love you too.
aglenntuba ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Trying to make small talk carrying out groceries a little after Christmas
Me: so how have your holidays been so far?
Older guy: not so great, actually.
Me: aw what's wrong? Didn't get what you wanted from santa?
Older guy: we buried my wife yesterday.
I somehow got all of his bags into the car without ever looking away from the ground after that, lol.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working at a deli I was finishing up a customerโs sandwich and asked if they would like โlettuce, tomatoes, and all that jizz?โ Which I meant โall that Jazz.โ
I couldnโt fucking believe it. I held it together though and I donโt think she realized. Once she left my co-workers lost it and laughed their asses off.
milehighjessa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a contact center and was training someone. She had a headset and mine was attached to hers so because of this I kept my mic on mute to prevent people from hearing an echo. While trying to assist someone with their online banking I unintentionally turned off the mute thinking I turned it on and said something along the lines of โmost people are fucking idiots who canโt follow simple instructions.โ
Surprisingly the member calmly said she was able to sign to her account, thanked the new girl for her time and hung up.
Never heard a single word about it. It still gives me the cringes when I think about it.
Also we found out the mistake because on the next phone call when someone asked why there was an echo almost immediately.
PurpleSailor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:01:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine but the young idiot I worked with.
To the guy picking up photos (we developed and printed film) as the idiot looks through them to make sure they were printed correctly: "God, I'd love to break that bitch open like a shotgun (while making pelvic thrusting motions)"! (the photo had a picture of a woman who was the local TV stations main news anchor)
Guy to idiot: "That's my wife!".
Me: pushes idiot away and proceeded to apologise for the idiots behavior profusely. He had been a fairly regular customer, never saw him again and I don't blame him.
EmPsych2019 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:04:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a barista and when I was collecting the money from the tip jar at the end of my shift, the customer at the register says โlooks like a successful day!โ And I replied...โyeah, gotta collect my stripper money ya know?โ
She looked very concerned and at that point I wanted to slide under the counter...
Snappyhat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my favorite coworker ever. I worked at a Younkers department store as a cashier with this older woman, Sally, who was the fanciest/ sassiest thing you've ever seen. Her hair was always salon set, high heels, matching animal print outfits head to toe, covered in jewelry, and to top it all was a southern accent.
We had a guy come in who was a total asshole. We didn't have what he wanted, so he was acting really condescending. You know, because that's what changes the inventory!
Sally just grabbed his arm and sushed him mid sentence, and said in her southern accent "Sir! I'm a cashier. I'm not fuckin retarded!" And then walked away. He stood with his mouth open for a minute and then left the store without another word.
Last time I talked to Sally, she must have been going on 80, still looked the same, and was on the back of her 30 something dates motorcycle.
kevinberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You can't complain about customers being assholes when you use ableist hate speech.
Snappyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:49 on April 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First, retarded is an antiquated term. Second, did you miss the part were it was a coworker, and not me?
kevinberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:04 on April 19, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That has got to be one of the most bizarre attempts to condone hate speech I've ever heard. First of all the r-word is one of if not the most commonly used hate term used today, I wish people would stop using it. Secondly how on earth do you think something being antiquated in any way makes it acceptable.
Well you're enabling your "favorite coworker ever" who is using able-supremacist speech.
Snappyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:21 on April 22, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Retarded was officially replaced by the APA with Intelectual Disability in 2010 with Rosa's Law, although it was being phased out well before then. I call it an antiquated term because it is. I hope you stand on your soapbox with equal conviction when people use imbecile, idiot, moron, lamebrained, mentally defective, numbskull, opaque, pinhead, simple, slow, etc, and are just as righteous when somebody utters "opps, must be dyslexic!" after mincing words.
Also, arguing with an old woman over her choice in adjectives when telling off some asshole guy is not a hill I'm willing to die on.
kevinberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:32 on April 23, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a medical term it's antiquated, as an ableist insult it's not and that is how it was used in this situation. It's not about a soapbox, it's about better treatment for the disabled. It's not easy to stand up for the disabled who are so marginalized, approving and defending of the abuse of them is significant step worse than not defending them though.
SeanBeckum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:07:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Got two situations here:
Guy in a wheelchair without legs. In my brightest moment I said: we'll walk to the register and will complete your order. He replies: Walk!? That has been a while. I was ashamed but he just laughed. I now just say: Let's go to the register.
Man is looking at electric shavers, he said: are these all the shavers you have? Me: yes it is, but sir, how many do you need? One is enough I guess... He wasn't amused and asked me if I thought I was funny... Stormed off and never saw him again.
epiultra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When out of frustration I replied, โyou didnt say that.โ It was true, but this is Chick-fil-A.... where the customer couldnโt possibly be wrong.... โmy pleasureโ....
Serdones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you!
Nekroshade ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party.
Asked a woman where she was from, because she had an accent that sounded almost British. Nope, speech impediment.
bottomsup4pups ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was serving a table of 6 people, three couples, and began taking their order. One guy interrupts me while I'm looking at his wife and proceeds to tell me what he wants, So I interrupt him with a jokingly "EHEM. Ladies first sir" -"I am a woman" he/she says
Upon taking a closer look, yep! Definitely a woman.
Tubbynezbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this counts or not, but i was calling people who owed my company money. After leaving a message on a home phone i opened up the next lot of calls and realised how much work i had to do and said " Pay for Fking bills people, my god
I then turned to make my next call before realizing i hadn't hung up from my last call. Their answering service had heard me swear at all our customers.
PBaz1337 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:11:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer come in and buy as many pairs of oak 2B drumsticks as we had in stock. It was something like 6 or 7 pairs. For those of you who donโt play drums, those are some of the beefiest drumsticks you can get (at the time, anyway). Kid was probably 15 or 16, and played in a hardcore band with his buddies.
Anyway, a week goes by and this kid comes back with his mom. Sheโs irate. The sticks he got werenโt cheap and they were now sawdust. She slammed the bag down on the counter and demanded warranty replacements. Drumsticks donโt have warranties. Theyโre chunks of wood that you bang against metal plates and metal rims. Drumstick companies that make hard-to-break sticks tend to go under because they rely on you continuing to buy their sticks.
She objects for a bit, but eventually she realizes that Iโm not going to budge on the warranty policy. Next, she asks what he could be doing to prevent this from happening. I told her that breaking a half dozen pairs of the biggest pair of the strongest wood available in drumsticks in less than a week is not the result of normal use.
When I said that going through sticks as that rate could only be the result of improper setup and bad stick technique, she LOST IT. Apparently her son could do no wrong, and how dare a more experienced drummer suggest that beating the shit out of your drums like a gorilla will wear down on your gear faster than normal?! She demanded to speak with a manager, who is also a drummer, who said the exact same thing.
She stormed out, and the kid who bought the sticks in the first place asked me some more questions, which led to him buying a lot less drumsticks in the future, and he went on to become a very skilled drummer.
JPino97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:12:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was this One time when I worked at Outback and I was handing a To Go order to an impatient older lady that had been bitching the entire time I had been helping her. I was having a bad night, so when she told me, โThis Place is such a disappointment, I donโt even know why I come here,โ I was so livid that I responded with
โI Donโt know why you come here either mam. Thereโs a McDonaldโs across the street, they donโt expect tips so they wonโt be disappointed when you come through. Iโm just trying to get through this shit show and youโre not making it easier.โ
She drove off and called to bitch about twenty minutes later, to which I had a long talk and was then written up at the end of my shift. Lol
xanthus12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a mid-end men's clothing store, and one day I had a preacher come in, use my services for nearly and hour, then demand a discount for the church. I told him, we unfortunately don't do that. He said he wouldn't purchase anything without a pretty heavy discount. (The sale was about 500 dollars total, nothing special. Average sale is around a thousand) He demanded to know why I personally wouldn't give him the discount. I responded "Belief in magic wouldn't get me a discount anywhere"
Ballsackinmyballsack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: โHi. Welcome to Saltgrass. My name is Wiil and Iโll be your server this afternoon!โ
Lady: โI like that name! Thatโs my grandsons name! His name is William Robert.โ
Me: โOh so itโs Billy Bob!โ
She then gave me this glare that Iโll never forget. Canโt remember what the tip was.
Arfman21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maโam, please calm down.
A_Pile_Of_Bees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was did a favor for an older co-worker (like late 40s early 50s, not that old). She was very grateful and said "I'll dance at your wedding". I, in my infinite wisdom replied with "if you're around that long", meaning that it would take forever for me to find someone to marry. I immediately realized once I said it that it could be taken that I thought that she was going to die soon. I nervously tried to explain what I meant and backtrack, but she saw what I meant and we both had a good laugh
HappyNarwhal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:17:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I used to manage a waterpark. In this park we have two different types of tubes. Clear tubes are for the lazy rivers so lifeguards can see under them. Then we have green tubes for the slides so lifeguards can see them more easily coming down tubeslides. Whenever tubes are in the wrong spot, a lifeguard is instructed to tell the guest that they must exit the tube and give it to the guard. One day I got stormed by a middle aged black woman who was clearly visibly shook. She was screaming that I needed to get my "little racist shit lifeguard fired before running off before I could ask clarifying questions. I go to pull him off the water and have a conversation about what transpired. The second he sees me he starts crying and explained that he accidentally used the wording "hey no colored ones in the river. I have to unfortunately take your innertube."
HODORx3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a grocery store when a customer asks where the toothpaste is. I say isle 3. They asked where is isle 3? I answered, "between isles 2 and 4."
AF_Fresh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While working at a call center for a military facing bank, I had a client would not accept my answer, no matter how I phrased it. After going through this for a bit, he asked the same question again, which I ignored and said "is there anything else I can assist you with?" he started going off yelling and screaming. He started asking for a manager. I replied with "Yeah, I am gonna put you on a brief hold so my supervisor can give you the exact same information I just provided you."
I immediately regretted saying that, put them on hold and got my supervisor. My supervisor knew that I was the best on my team, and was twice the asshole I was. Luckily he understood, and repeated the same info about 3 times to him before he got fed up and said "have a nice day sir", and hung up.
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A military facing bank?? ๐ฆ
AF_Fresh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, a bank focused on serving military members, veterans, and their families. I'm not technically allowed to tell the name of the bank, as I worked for a third party company contracted by the bank, and had to sign an NDA stating I wouldn't tell anyone the bank we are contracted through. If you took 3 guesses, you would probably guess right on the first or second guess.
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not going to guess USAA because of your NDA obviously...
It was just a weird way to phrase it. I'd understand "a bank for military members" etc. but facing makes it sound like the HSBC bank in Hong Kong and how the edges are pointed towards government buildings
AF_Fresh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, sorry for the weird phrasing. A lot of management there phrased it that way for whatever reason.
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's okay! It just kinda implies that you direct your services towards the military but don't necessarily deal with them, where in reality i imagine your only customers are vets/enlisted
Arianfis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had a special called The Big Flavor Dipper and all of the crew hated making it and called it the Big Fucker Dipper. Guess what almost slipped out when talking to a customer!
thatguy1025 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:21:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Delivery driver for Dominos here. The stores have signs with the hours of operation posted right next to the entrance, listing each days hours from Monday to Sunday. Right underneath Sunday's hours is a long that says "carryout lobby closes at 10pm" *this may vary in your area. One night a guy comes walking up to the door about 11pm and ttys to get in. Magnetic lock says no, so he shoots me a look of annoyance before pulling out his phone and calling. I do the standard greeting, he says he wants to order his pizza for carryout, and I inform him that carryout us closed. He points to the sign while saying "it says you're open until 12" and without missing a beat, I say "and if you kept reading, you'd have seen the part that says carryout closes at 10". Beaten, he retreats to his truck and places a delivery order. Guess who his driver is
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:51:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Might be that guy 1025
thatguy1025 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Might be right
in-a-lightbulb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was working at a clothing store and this blind woman walked in who needed some shopping assistance. I go help her to find what she needs. She needs a shirt but we have different models. She picks a model based on my descriptions and then I ask her, because we have it in so many colors, which color is her favorite..
I then remember she is blind and quickly change subjects after she answers my question with complete silence. (This was in a small town and people knew this woman and also that she was blind from birth. So she has never seen colors)
That was probably my most awkward customer experience.
Yesnowaitsorry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my wife. She's a teacher. At parent/teacher interviews she said "hi" to the man and woman approaching, "and you must be Mary's grandfather". "No I'm the father was the reply".
oneandonlyNightHawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was an middle school baseball umpire, and an idiot coach called me a "dirty little smart-ass", and I said "well I'd rather be a smart-ass than a dumb-ass". He had been acting horribly the whole game, and while I got a talking too because the commissioner was mad, my supervisor thought it was pretty funny.
pashbrown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A female customer returned an item of clothing and I said โwould you like a bigger size?โ
Znyder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oof.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a sandwich maker at subway.
Customer: โI want an italian bmt with everything except for lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, jala-โ
Me โhow about you just tell me what you DO want on the sandwichโ
pilotelecatza ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was hosting, this guy walked in with a party of 10 at around 7 on a Saturday night. I told him itโd be about an hour long wait. He set a timer on his phone in front of me and came back up to the host stand many times to show me โhow many minutes I had left to find him a tableโ. Around the 6th or 7th time this happened, I was so done and said โif you would like to walk around the restaurant and find an empty table that accommodates your party size you are more than welcome to do soโ.... Honestly I felt bad about it but this guy was fucking rude and Iโll take some shit from customers cause I know that to a certain extent you have to, but this felt different. He was stunned but he needed to be put in his place
gasmask_Survivalist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working valet at a casino and an old guy drives up. Ask him how his day is going and whatnot. All of a sudden, an ambulance pulls up (standard procedure when a guest has an accident), and the old guy jokingly says "that's not for me is it?" and without missing a beat, I say "not yet". I would like to say he laughed about it, but he just looked at me with a deadpan stare and walked away. Safe to say I didn't get tipped.
elbucho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I called one of my customers a cunt once. To be fair to me, though:
I very poorly tried to cover it up by coughing, then saying: "Cunt...cough...continue scrolling and you should see the 'OK' button at the bottom..."
Aedium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:35:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college I waited tables at a high end restaurant. We had a streak & frites item where the steak was sous vide to rare (really on the more done side of rare) before being finished by searing on a broiler to the customers liking.
One day I delivered food to a table that wasn't mine because one of our servers called in sick and no one could cover the first turn. The lady who's steak I delivered grabbed the bottom of my vest as I walked away after making sure everything was to their satisfaction and yelled 'son this steak is absolutely raw'.
Without thinking I just kind of absentmindedly snapped back 'mam that's impossible we sous vide to rare so at the very least your steak is rare not raw'. Cue 5 minutes of me explaining what sous vide is and the eventual 'I don't believe you get your boss'.
suicidalpenguin99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:37:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: I don't want to pay for that
Me:well I don't want to be here
That was something I said multiple times but for whatever reason no matter how much I kicked myself for saying it it always found its way out again
DersTheChamp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was my second to last day at Walmart, waiting for the next person to come and take over the electronics department for me and my coworker was sitting there off the clock waiting for me and he told me I had a customer. Now my vest was half off my hat was barely on my head and I looked tired I walked up to this old guy and said โwhatโs up slice what do you need help with todayโ. This old man looked at me like I insulted his family and honor or some shit and tried to make me apologize to him for it. I finally got him to tell me what he needed got it unlocked and radioed for someone to bring it up front and just walked away from him.
littlewoolie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer was leaving my express register, he said to me: "You're an asshole".
Unfortunately, I didn't hear it properly and replied: "Thanks, you too!"
bornfrustrated ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I usually can read my guests well enough to know if they can take a joke or some dead pan humor.
Things people don't like (those people are boring and need to live a little):
-No. -My favorite is beer and decision making -We have a menu for a reason, I suggest reading it -Your (whatever the fuck) allergy is not real. Tell me what you want.
I have had someone complain that their enchiladas were too hot.
TropicalKing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was while I was working at the movie theater. (I still work there now) A black family asked me where a certain auditorium was. And I said "its back where you came from."
I knew I fucked up. But luckily, the black family didn't seem to notice. And only my co-workers did.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not as bad, but I was working in Sporting Goods at Wal-Mart, and a lady asked "Where are the jock straps?" I replied that they were right next to the footballs, basketballs, etc. by stating "They're right where the balls are."
ChicagoMay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once told a man who had both parents in the hospital "I'd better plug this in [vital signs cart] because everything dies here." He cracked up. My coworker overheard and cracked up too. Funny now but at the time I was mortified!
HERMANNATOR85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The manager at dollar general decided to refuse my milk order, after I unloaded the whole thing in the rain, because she was upset that I was 20 minutes later than usual due to the rain. I was so mad, when I was leaving I told her โshe was a stupid, power tripping , ignorant cunt who has make herself feel powerful by doing stupid shit like thisโ.
Immediate regret
Carly2383 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once approached a lady who had her back to me. She was looking at stock and said "Do you need a hand with anything" , the lady turned around and I immediately noticed she only had one hand and I nearly died! She saw my face and laughed and said "Yes I do actually can u give me one". I apologised profusely and she was so lovely about it but I obviously felt terrible. I have never said that phrase ever again.
kaelteidiotie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, anyways: Mr Buchwald calls asks something about a shipment. โalright mr buchenwald i look it upโ - silence. I had to chuckle and he was not amused.
_IamANobodyAMA_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:49:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a coffee shop and we have one lady who comes in at like 2pm every day, and stays until close (9pm) and sometimes even after, until 9:30. She orders a medium coffee and gets 5+ refills without paying when only the first one is free. She's not a terrible customer, but not the nicest. One night, she came in and got her coffee. She set all her things down at a table, and comes back up in line. She orders a spinach and feta croissant. I ask if she would like that warmed up? She says "How much are your muffins?" I tell her. She says she would like the croissant warmed so I grab one and then around to start heating it. She is still asking me questions so I was about to turn around to answer her but before I could, she repeated her question but yelling at me instead. so I answered calmly and then told her the food would be out in a minute. She gets it and sits down. We end up getting a line of about 5 people. all of a sudden she storms up to the front of the line, interrupts a couples order, and says "HEY ISNT THERE SUPPOSED TO BE FETA IN THIS??" I said yes, it's a spinach and feta croissant. She said "There's NO feta in here. that's not fair." I said "Dude we don't make those here, they come frozen in a box. I don't know what to tell you. you got it heated so the cheese probably melted." she just went and sat back down but I was so irritated and so were the other customers. I could have handled it better but meh. I'm rarely snappy to customers and I felt it was deserved after she cut the line and interrupted people.
shwiftyget ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I worked in a drugstore and helped a very nice elderly Vietnamese customer find a item she was after which was no easy task as she spoke almost no English, eventually after playing charades for 10 minutes we found what she needed. She smiled really big and she said "thank you, thank you, Happy birthday" in broken English and I responded "Happy birthday to you too" and she walked away.
wakeypixel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:52:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer wanted to make a complaint so I started to say "go ahead" and changed my mind mid sentence to say "fire away". So, I ended up saying "go away". We both looked shocked for a second before I started apologising like crazy.
Stephenrudolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:55:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late to the party... But this is really my chance to shine. I work at a furniture store. I'm primarily a sales manager but sometimes that means I have to deal with upset customers. A customer was upset that she couldnt get a refund for her sofa that didnt fit in her apartment. The customer had been clearly explained to that it was her responsibility to make sure the sofa fit in her space as it was clearance final sale product. Her full page 8.5" by 11" receipt clearly had written on it that customer was responsible to make sure merchandise would fit.
Now technically the policy, is no refunds. I let the customer no we would let her reselect into a smaller sofa as long as she paid the delivery fee again and a 25% restocking fee. Now this customer is absolutely livid. Shes yelling on about how its unfair and shes going to sue us. Claiming she wasnt told about not being able to exchange it.
I had her read her copy of the receipt to us. And when she read one of the parts about the sofa being final sale with no refunds she was flabbergasted. I then asked her to tell me what was right under that line. "By signing I agree to these terms..." followed by her signature.
She freaks out and says "Oh well I'm sorry I didn't read the fine print, buyer beware! Never shopping at _____ again" I just responded... "Mam, I need glasses... Which I am currently not wearing and can clearly read the Bold print terms you agreed too by signing"
She hung up after that and my coworker who was sitting right next to me said... "i honestly cant believe you said that"
eloise4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Saying "chill vibes area" instead of "upscale lounge".
Smooth_McDouglette ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:00:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a cellphone carrier. A customer came in asking if Android phones can handle docs and spreadsheets. I tell him yeah definitely, here I'll show you how Google docs works.
I open up my docs and scroll to find something work-like and see a report called "Science Report - Final" or something, so I click that and open it in front of him to show him what a typical formatted paper might look like. Instead the document opens and is full of the most obscene photos I've ever seen. Anus close-ups, dicks connected to mouths with strings of spit/cum, shit in toilets, dogs pooping, etc.
Turns out way back when I had a friend who used to get me to proofread her papers all the time and one day out of frustration I just left the title page and replaced the rest of the paper with the horrible images I just described and sent it back to her, but because I left the title page in tact and left a normal filename it ended up pranking me way harder than it had pranked her.
The customer was confused and left very shortly after.
seegodada ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one is kinda in reverse and I was a witness to the conversation. I work in Loss Prevention and this was near the beginning of my career.
We had just caught a lady who was boosting menโs care products, she had tried to walk out with about $300 worth of Axe body wash and deodorants stuffed in her bag. She didnโt have an ID and admitted to being under the influence of drugs, either crack or heroine because she was all over the place. So we had to call the cops for assistance with identification.
The cops walk in and one of them, letโs call him Officer Smith, looks at her and says โdonโt I know you from somewhere?โ With a smirk on his face.
The lady looks at him and yells โDo you? Did I sick your dick in the back of a taxi cab last week?โ
The color in the cops face disappears as his partner is standing there laughing at him. My coworkers and I had to run into a separate office and shut the doors so he couldnโt hear us laughing.
chasinggodzilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a pizza chain several years ago. A customer ordered some extra ranch dipping and unfortunately the driver forgot to put the ranch in. It was mid week, lunch time meaning we only had two drivers and both happened to be out. The customer called to complain, to which I apologized and of course told them we would send the driver back as soon as possible. Three minutes pass and the customer calls back complaint the driver isn't there yet. I try to calm her down try to rationalize that it'll take a little time to come back to the store, pick up the ranch and drive back. Despite even offering extra sauce or a 20oz soda for the trouble she would not stop demanding that she needed the ranch right NOW. And I quote "I need the Ranch to eat this pizza! I need it right here right now!" I was sick of talking to her and I had three other lines waiting I just auto responded with "you don't NEED Ranch to eat your pizza. It's not impossible to eat without Ranch, give it a try." She wasn't too happy with that and it started a whole new rant. I hung up. She called back, with her husband. He threatened to come to the store to beat us up for disrespecting his wife and her ranch, so I decided lady luck was on my side and told just said, "I won't be sending a driver with your ranch because of the threats you have made and I don't think my drivers will be safe. If you want to discuss it calmly at our store we will be happy to help" and I hung up on him again. Twenty minutes later, I'm on the phone with another customer, a man comes rushing in with a pizza, starts yelling and tosses the pizza at the pizza makers. Pizza makers are some pretty tough people, and they straight up rush the guy and scare him out if the store. Never heard from him again, never even got a complaint.
intriguingmouse1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It amazes me that these types of people find each other. Though I guess it's a good thing. Better than having a normal person marry an insane one. I can't imagine behaving this way and I LOVE ranch with my pizza.
thatdoesntsmakesense ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first job was working at a fancy grocery store that the main customers were from a near by multi million dollar neighborhood. I was asked to sub in the produce area. A man asked me what type of mushrooms they had and I listed off what I knew, including โshit takeโ mushrooms. He got me to repeatedly say โshit takeโ before telling me the real pronunciation. I was extremely embarrassed and tried to hide every time he came in. That was almost 20 years ago and I continue to call them โshit takeโ mushrooms.
TheJaice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a movie rental place, and once a year they would accept donations for the Helen Keller Foundation. One day, it was just me and the manager working, and she was running a customer through the till while I organized some returns. She asked the customer if they wanted to make a donation, and the customer asked, "who's Helen Keller?"
My boss says, "Oh, she was deaf, dumb and blind," and without thinking, I blurt out "But she could sure play a mean pinball."
Instantly I got that cold sweat, knot in the pit of your stomach feeling, like I just flushed a pretty decent job down the toilet.
Fortunately, they both burst out laughing, and from then on she would start laughing every time someone asked, or mentioned Helen Keller being deaf, dumb and blind.
rachel226 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yesterday it was raining and I was under a smallish umbrella. A guest runs up under it and says โhello buddyโ I look at him dead eye and said โI donโt need anymore friends.โ I legit still think I might lose my job if he went and complained. ๐
ShlubbyWhyYouDan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said trading in your Xbox Elite remote for a wired Wildcats controller was like trading in your kid with a prefectly fine IQ for one with Down Syndrome.fired about a week after.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm unsure if I should upvote or downvote, because you really shouldn't have said this
bectato ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the time I was working for Apple and I had a woman who was being very very rude and hateful. Once she threatened to go to Android I looked her straight in the eye and said โhave fun at the Android store.โ She was shocked and asked me to repeat what I said and made direct eye contact and repeated what I said. I shouldnโt have said it but damn if I donโt regret it.
ikilledtupac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was filling a propane tank when a woman started smoking.
I said "are you fucking serious?!? This is propane you'll blow up the whole block!! Get out of here. Get out of our station!!. "
She replies "I can't believe you talked to me like that. I'm going to call your manager and we will see what he has to say about what you just did"
I said : "go ahead and call him, he'll throw your ass off the lot too,"
scoot_flank ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:19:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a host at a restaurant when I was around 17. This is the type of restaurant where it was mainly families and old people, plus it is located right next to a retirement home so we would get elderly people in to eat quite often.
One morning, a group of elderly men and women come in to eat. Saying they were elderly is an understatement. These people were on the verge of death they were so old and frail. Anyway, they had their meal, sat around and talked, and finally they got up and practically crawled out the door. Me, being trained in hospitality and having an innate urge for politeness, decide to wish them a pleasant remainder of their day. But instead I said to them "enjoy the rest of your days".
I don't think they heard me so that's a plus, but this is a running joke 5 years later at this restaurant.
piercednerd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once I was a customer service representative and an elderly woman comes up to me and we are making small talk when she says she had lost her husband. My response was "we can leave him if you'd like" as it was common to have people paged. She said "oh honey I meant he died."
I did too in that moment.
scomet33 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To bosses not customers but still - I was on some rather intense meds for a few months that made my thinking foggy.
I'd noticed my boss was looking very tired a lot lately (let's call her Jane). what my brain was thinking was - she looks tired and hungover like she's had a rough night, better ask if she's feeling OK. What I said : "hi Jane how are you? You know you always look really drunk ".... She said " yeah I have been drinking, I'm actually going through a divorce".
another boss (who was a sour bitch I hated to bits) was going on maternity leave and a card was being passed around. I was on hold on the phone while being pressured to write something adorable on the card, I absentmindedly wrote "have a nice baby" and signed my fucking name underneath and passed the card along. Did not realise what I'd done until workmate came up to me after work cracking up and hi fiving me for my "sarcastic burn". Oh well.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:23:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Loved the disclosure and can relate to your anxiety towards phone calls
chinpokomon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First day working a register in retail and the credit card number wasn't working when I typed it in - readers weren't standard tools yet and I'd have to use the carbon copy imprint slider if it turned out to be a problem with the register or back office and not with the card.
I called the credit card verification number and after keying in the number and expiration was told "Please hold." I turned to the customer and said, "I'm sorry sir, but I've been told to confiscate your card." The customer was obviously embarrassed because at that point he just wanted me to give him his card back. He has another he'd use. I explained to him again that I couldn't give him the card and he grew agitated -- probably because he knew he was caught.
My manager overhead the conversation and came over to see what the fuss was about. I explained what has happened and this was obviously something that might require the authorities. He called the credit card company too, to see if we needed to call the police next I was sure. He said, "I'm sorry sir, this card is over it's limit, do you have another one we can use?" And he handed back the clearly fraudulent card."
The customer fished out another card, probably not even the same name, then finished the transaction and left. My manger turned to me and said, "They wanted you to stay on the line until a representative could talk to you." He turned and walked back to another part of the store.
setherickson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Use to work at Best Buy. Guy asked me why so many people wanted to buy Nintendo Wiiโs. I said fat people want to get skinny. He was very overweight. Instantly regretted that.
m-e-g-a-i-n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:29:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Since you think lens distortion is what's making you look fat in the photos, explain to me why your husband and everyone else in the pics look great."
I should have just went with "yeah, that's probably what it is and will try to reduce some of that in post - sorry for the equipment problem."
Some brides are never happy.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my boss. I was working at an RV dealership and my boss had just given us this big speech about how to greet customers. Eager to demonstrate, I guess, he approaches a group of 4 people (2 couples) that have wandered onto the lot.
The 2 couples appear to be 20-30 years apart in age. Pretty common for us to get extended family shopping together for RVs. So my boss goes up with all the confidence in the world and starts talking to them, and it's obvious the younger man and his wife are the ones looking for an RV.
So my boss says "That's great, and are you looking for something that maybe has room for mom and dad?" and motions towards the other couple. The guy cracks a smile, says "no, just for us". After a couple more minutes, they ask if they can just browse around, so my boss leaves them and comes back inside.
About 5 minutes later, the guy who's interested in buying walks in, laughing his ass off. He says "Buddy, you just made my fucking day."
Turns out, the other couple wasn't "mom and dad", it was his wife's younger sister and her husband. I literally saw the blood drain from my boss's face. He was always the most professional salesman I've ever met, but all he could manage to say was "Fuck off. Seriously?"
I died laughing.
coolfir3pwnz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:31:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Quality, but temporary.
-TwistedElegance- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:41:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably going to get buried but my proudest moment was when I worked in the airlines. This will be a long one but it ought to be worth it.
I was working at the departure gate, preparing the flight that was about to arrive and turn right back. Well, the counter I am in is for three gates (5, 6 and 7; it was a large-ish part of terminal) and one of them had a flight that was just about ready for pushback. Cue mom and dad running in, dragging two kids with them but they were late. Dad yells out in frustration at the visage of his missed flight, and comes to my counter to ask about the flight. I tell him that flight is indeed gone and that the agents working the flight will be out shortly to help him.
He loses his shit at this point, cussing and yelling that "in Destination they always wait for us and yada yada". I explain I am not responsible for his flight, and I could do nothing at that point to help him (I really couldn't) and that he had to wait a few minutes (again) for the guys working the flight. Cussed some more and storms over to the chairs in front of where the plane is to ruminate or something. The wife looks at me like "sorry" and tends to him for a bit, taking notice of how he blasted at me (some of the cussing was directed at me, also).
She comes back not long after and speaks to me more calmly, asking me questions. I had no problem talking to her but as I reiterated that there was nothing I could do (she hadn't heard me), but I added this in the end: "And furthermore, I understand he is frustrated but the way I see right now he has two problems. For one, you guys got here very late, to the point that there was no way you were going to make it and for two, he needs to tone down the attitude and calm down because if he blows up like that again he will not get much in the way of help". She understood, agreed, and thanked me without hesitation, going back to the husband. And the entire time I am thinking "welp, I went off there".
As I was clocking out later that evening, I got called in, as I suspected. They wanted to write me up, as the husband had complained to the lead agent on duty (one of the guys working his missed flight) and obviously, reported forward as he is supposed to. Only reason I did not get the write up was because that was the day I went on a short leave, and they knew it. My sup said "we'll discuss this when you come back". It's been 4 years since, I'm not there anymore (good riddance) and the "discussion" never happened.
vaamps ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:45:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally asked some Spanish speaking customers if they had a โtarjeta de putosโ instead of โtarjeta de puntosโ
I was mortified.
Gostem2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:49:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at geek squad and was taking over a shift at the front counter. Two older ladies walk up and wanted to check in a computer itโs a mother and daughter but still in their older years. After a few minutes I ask what day is best to pick up the computer when finished, the daughter looks at her mom and asks โwhat days do you have the doctor appointments?โ The mom responds โI have chemo this day and this dayโ no big deal she has cancer just continue with the conversation. Once everything is said and done I ask if there are any more questions, the daughter asks โare Russians gonna be spying on our computer?โ Now I get questions like this often and I have the same answer all the time but the problem was who I said it to this time, I responded with โnahh youโre fine, unless you have the cure to cancer in there itโs unlikely youโll get that kind of attentionโ I realized immediately what I just said and she looks down sad and responds โman that would be niceโ ended the conversation as quick as I could and got out of there.
Genericwheatbiscuit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:16:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a sports store I was serving two police officers, they were in full uniform and just browsing mainly. Anyway I asked one of there was a pair of shoes he liked and he pointed out a pair, his partner then turned to him and said "we tried to catch a guy who stole a pair last week" , without even thinking I just said "yeah you know why you didn't catch him? Because he was wearing these shoes" , they shot me a dirty look and walked out.
_divergent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was more how I said it than what I said.
After I refused to return a woman's items that were 6 years old, and no longer in our system, she started howling obscenities at me and the whole 'no wonder you work in retail, you're obviously a moron!' and then stalked towards the exit I said in the most lovely tone after her 'Have a WONDERFUL day!'
She looked like she was about to start swinging at me. I didn't care, she was a cunt. My supervisor told me I should have just kept quiet.
GemLettuce93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:24:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First early morning start in awhile I'd been there since 5am and two young girls walk in with bright red eyebrows, they come to my till and I ring them up and for some stupid reason I mention the redness and they say "oh yeah we just got our eyebrows threaded!" I just respond with "YEAH YOU CAN TELL" but it came off super aggressive and condescending...
BrutalWarPig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:28:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This lady use to come in every day in drive thru and order tons of roast beef sandwiches, mozzarella sticks , potato cakes, curly fries, jalapeno bites, potato bites and of course a large diet Pepsi. It got to the point where she was spending 500 seconds in our drive thru. We would always get bitched out about this drive time. So my manager told me to tell the lady to start coming inside.
Holy shit. She just start going off on me calling me all sorts of names, yelling every 4 letter word in the book, asking for everyone in the companies phone book, threatening all sorts of shit. Asking how "how am I supposed to coming, I have diabetes and I m obese. Finally my manager comes over and says knock it off. Starts doing the same to her. Finally gets her food and leaves
This whole ordeal took about 1000 seconds. So the next day we were bitched out again for that drive time.
Bonus: the lady after her was super nice. Apologized to her about the wait and the Yelling from the other lady. Her response was "no worries not your fault she was a btich"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:30:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a hotel receptionist, nightshifts. This young girl called down to tell me there was a spider in her bathroom and wanted me to come remove it. I went up there and it was a tiny spider on the bathroom wall. I said something like ยซThis little thing? I have seen much bigger spiders around hereยป
She wrote a complaint about me ๐ฌ
sendenten ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I'm a nurse, and healthcare has really turned into a customer service industry at this point.
I had a patient who was walking around independently all shift, then when he was in bed, hit his call bell and asked me to close the door for him. I said "well, you've got legs don't you?" and he was not happy about it.
SolarSeven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working the seafood section of grocery store when a woman asked about how to cook a whole crab.
"You boil it, ma'am."
"In what?"
I couldn't stop myself from saying "Uh...water?" In a not customer service friendly tone. She took it in stride thpugh so I got lucky.
ayitsnick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:06:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Also had a customer ask me if the exit in the back was an emergency exit or if he could use it. I told him Iโm pretty sure itโs a usable exit but to run in case it isnโt. He gives me a weird look and stands up and limps towards it
DanBGG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'If you don't shut up I can't help you ' whelp , slipped out while being talked over. Didn't hear me clearly thank god.
forkandbowl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:18:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a fire station, and we occasionally have members of the public stop by for various reasons. There is a code which means " citizen" it is mostly used by the police and I can never remember it. Something like 63? Anyways, I was in the kitchen doing something, and said something with some borderline foul language. Someone in the front office shouted out "63 in the office"
My response "what the fuck is a 63?"
The retired police officer who had stopped by for a blood pressure check shouts back "it means a citizen!"
PrisonBull ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:21:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
JW group came to the prison and wanted an announcement made that they were having an open meeting. They didn't know what to call it. I suggested, "Liar's Club?"
MoJo59er ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:23:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Said out loud on the mic at McDonaldโs while taking some ladyโs order at the drive thru โanything else for you to..... or ok yeah just fucking drive awayโ. I guess the car full of teenagers behind her heard and weโre dying laughing.
gormzy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:32:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work we have a computer system that tells us all the items we have in store, how much of each weโve got and when they were last delivered. We get a lot of customers asking us to look products up which we do in reception.
Anyway, I had been throwing up in the morning so I wasnโt in the best of moods, and a customer walks in, (bear in mind Iโm busy sorting out our stocktake paperwork) and they just immediately starts listing off all these items to me and asking if we have them in stock.
After about 10 items, I stopped them mid sentence and said โSir, I donโt have the entire computer system and stock files in my head, go awayโ. As soon as I said it I looked at him expecting the rant of Iโm going to tell your manager, but he just looked at me confused and walked away.
angry_snek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer wasn't happy about the condition the product was in that she had put in her cart, so she wanted the same product in better condition, so I said, "then I suggest you go get it" Then she said, "what?" Altough she had clearly heard what I said so I repeated that she should go get it, she mumbled something angry and went and got her product. I felt justified, but I don't think my boss would've appreciated it if he saw it.
abstronomy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working in the plumbing department at Menards a nice couple (in mid 20s) were asking me questions about our toilets. I was explaining all the different kinds of toilets and their very boring stats. I then got to the best one they sell which advertises that it can flush a bucket of golf balls. Instead of saying that tho I, for some reason, instead said "you could flush a baby down this sucker ". Thank God I was called away to do something else very soon after. They seemed shocked. I still kinda giggle about that one tho.
cartenui ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:04:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a middle age woman call me about to fix her computer 7-8 times, every time it was something stupid like โ turn on the monitor buttonโ, โpower on the dockโ, โunlock computerโ etc. I told her manager that I wonโt go out to her unless she takes an IT course which he agreed too. Fast forward 4 weeks and I get called out to turn on her monitor again, so I say:
Are you sure you need a computer? Because I am pretty fking sure it doesnโt need you.
krew2new ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:10:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a bartender in a student bar. A guy paid for his drinks, I counted the money and instead of giving him a thumbs up like I usually did I had a brain fart and gave him the middle finger.
He was cool about it.
onekayscrub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:37:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working at a pharmacy and a brittish guy walks in asking for thermometers. I showed him 2 types. "this is for oral use, and this is for uhhm, anal use?"
He got pretty upset and told me it's called rektal and then walked out the store.
Sorry if 17 year old me, living in Sweden didn't know perfect english. Twat.
la-noche-viene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:57:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago, I was a hostess for an upscale, overpriced Mexican restaurant. Our table-side guacamole was $14 (circa 2013.) I took phone orders for takeout and delivery. It was a bright, sunny, August day. I answered a delivery order, and the customer was unsure on how spicy he wanted his guacamole. I said, "You sound like someone who likes it SPICY!" He changed his delivery to takeout, appeared at the host desk, and asked me out on a date. All because he thought I was being flirtatious on the phone.
Death_Star_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:18:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Will be buried but whatever.
Worked at Blockbuster.
We had 2-person shifts, so breaks meant 1 employee manning the fort. Blockbuster made us take every minute of the 30 min unpaid lunch breaks and 10 min paid mid-shift breaks to avoid lawsuits.
So, when my other employee came back from lunch 6-7 mins early, she couldnโt log back on until the 30 min were up; she just hung out around the checkout area with me, where we had 3 terminals in a square shaped checkout area.
Because employees had to take all 30 minutes; usually 31-33 minutes, though some went 34+ minutes, which is fine once or twice but youโll get asked to clock in earlier if you repeatedly took 34+ minute lunches, because of the computer log in and log out for time logs.
The combo of employees coming back from break early because they were bored1
of their break โ and it was timed via logging in and out โ This was infrequently troublesome because customers would passive aggressively express discontent and impatience and pass judgment on an employee apparently not working, when they didnโt know she was prohibited from working while on break.
Didnโt matter to me.
Only 4 customers browsing. I could process 4 pretty quickly, like within 2-3 minutes without being rushed. Easy peasy.
They all 4 individually got in line around the same time.
1st transaction: Went fine. But the last customer let out a huge passive aggressive sigh and stared at my shift manager, who was still 5 min from break.
2nd transaction: Went smoothly. This time he literally raises his arms up high then lets them fall on his hips to make a loud bitchy sound.
3rd transaction: The lady had brought up the cover box instead of the rental box (a LOT of people did this, more old than young, and employees were split. Some loathed then, some were indifferent.) I informed her that she got the wrong box and volunteered to just run and get the rental box since it would take longer for her to go back and find it
At this point the last guy waiting says โcan she not use one of the other 3 registers?!โ directing it at my manager. She explained to him she was on mandatory break for 2 more minutes. He didnโt care.
Finally heโs up. First thing he says to me is
(He refers to my manager as โthat.โ Yeah, this manager was obese but super nice and pure of soul, and he reduced her down to a fucking inanimate object, and I suddenly had this out of body experience where I was watching myself, except whatever I thought I spoke).
In response I said
No stutter or pauses or hesitation in delivery, and I looked him right in the eye. But I felt dread with every word that came out of my mouth, and as soon as I finished I was โback in my bodyโ and instantly had MY HEAD DOWN THE ENTIRE TIME and focused on processing the transaction ASAP โ but I โfeltโ his death stare into the top of my head that i felt my soul burning like an ant under a magnifying glass with a sun ray melting my soul away.
The longest, โloudestโ silence ensued after I said what I said โ the whole thing seemingly occurred during some sort of time stoppage or the player playing my life as a video game put my entire life on pause for what felt like minutes....as he didnโt react or say a thing.
as I imagine the customer was taken aback by fielding a retort. It lasted about 4-5 seconds, which is a LONG time.
And he was processing whether he really heard what he thought he heard.
Then, he yells
I meekly say
He silently slides his debit card.
It processes and I say
My manager sheepishly but professionally but unofficially โreprimandedโ me by saying
(weird how I remember the after tax price of rentals from 16 years ago, but rentals were $3.99 plus 7% sales tax at the time too)
1
Because our โbreak roomโ had a DVD player and TV, all of us would take a TV show and watch a 22-30 minute episode of something. Once you were done eating and the episode was over, youโre just alone and claustrophobic in the tiny portion that made up the โbreak areaโ of the storage room (the break area was as narrow as half a car width and as long as about the length from the steering wheel to the trunk).
It was essentially a single cheap foldable seat 2-3 ft in front of a TV with no table and just a microwave next to the TV.
This was long before smartphones, and Iโm not talking about iPhones and Galaxies... but like Blackberries for professionals and Samsung Blackjacks with physical keyboards taking up half of the vertical space and the horizontal slide phones with a wide keyboard...which didnโt have access to the normal internet or even web browsers, as there were zero mobile pages. The โinternetโ was akin to what AOL used to be perceived as, the entire internet experience, because youโd get a menu of limited options to do things online and 100% of the whole thing was built and operated by Cingular/ATT โ and again, this was BEFORE THESE PHONES EVEN EXISTED (2002).
The most coveted and popular phones in the early-2000s were the Nokia โbrickโ phone that had a screen the size of a bandage and just regular phone keys; then it was the tiny silver Motorola flip phone that was sleek and small just a little bigger than a pager, and that had Znake and video poker, and you could even program ringtones! Unheard of!
Except they played only one note at a time and you NEEDED to use online message board instructions as to code the notes, sharps and flats, tempo, and lengths of notes; I use โcodeโ liberally but it was essentially the same concept, because it wasnโt as simple as pressing record and punching keys in at a tempo. No, you had to code in Motorola โring tone languageโ where you established tempo first, like 6 characters like โT6044โ which would indicate a tempo of 60 beats per minute and a time signature of 4/4, then you individually typed out EACH NOTE, which were often 4-6 characters long like โO53F14โ which would indicate that itโs 5th/middle octave, the 3rd major key over (E), but adjusted to E-flat due to the F, played at a quarter note (14) since itโs 1/4 of the 4/4 time signature. I forget how โrestsโ were coded โ but theyโre more pronounced and obvious than ever because of the inability to code multiple notes at once or chords or a backing track (or a harmony). Once a rest was in it, there would be a pause of any and all sound.
All that for just the first note. And youโd have to spend like 30 seconds to save to play it, as it would exit the coding screen and into a blank screen which would display your codes as the notes played โ you couldnโt just preview play it. It took me 4 hours (no copy and paste, no speech to text, no touch screen) to code like 12 seconds of piano riff intro to โClocksโ by Coldplay โ pretty much the only viable song type since you could only play one note at a time, you couldnโt use percussion or chords, and the clocks piano intro could be played one piano note at a time. You couldnโt play, say โThe Scientistโ by Coldplay because it required the backing music and then the vocal melody.
A MIDI-based ringtone of Coldplayโa Clocks on that Motorola tiny flip phone โ thatโs as 2002 as it gets.
Even then, there were zero other sounds other than the beeps from your notes, so no layering or harmony or chords. There was no percussion-like function either. The only song that worked was Coldplayโs โClocksโ Piano intro, which can be played by single piano key strokes. Btw, how 2002-2003 does this all sound? And this was mind-blowing.
Eventually Motorola found a way to allow percussion and chords.
The next pre-smartphone big thing was the Motorola RAZR โ sleek, slim, light flip phone.
The first smartphones came about a year later and there were awful looking back, and underwhelming even back then. They were โsmartphonesโ in that they did more than just call and text. Technically, you had internet access, you could download ringtones (admittedly this was a HUGE thing because
make your own ringtone if you knew the notes and matching numbers, but it would just replay as melodic beeps of different notes with no chords or harmonies, no layering or beat (Coldplayโs โClocksโ worked well since the piano riff was catchy and thatโs all you needed since the real song plays only one note at a time). Anyway that phone was succeeded by the RAZR, both flip phones and immensely popular.
70-x-7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:21:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a mechanic in a food factory. I was cutting through a production room with a co-worker on our way to a service call. The room had a a weird smell so I joked โIt smells like the inside of a fake leg in hereโ
Guess who happened to hear me? A dude with one leg. I couldnโt apologize fast enough.
egvdk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You know what? I don't have time for your attitude and I'm not going to serve you. If you can't act like an adult I'm not going to treat you like one." To a woman who lost her shit over being carded.
I still stand by those words, but I most definitely shouldn't have said it. Could've landed me in a lot of trouble if not for her friends, who backed me up.
mjbertha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:29:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a server at Olive garden and I was serving a table of 4 larger ladies. The table was one of our larger round tables. At the end of the meal I got their bills and dropped a pile of mints in the middle of the table. They all grabbed towards the middle fighting over the mints like pihranas laughing and the first thing my dumbass said was "Wow that reminded me of a game of hungry hungry hippos!" I did not get a tip off of that one...
thunder2132 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:30:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in consumer electronics support. We had a lady who was bat-shit crazy that would often call and stop by for support. Most of the time it was for weird BS reasons. She said that the government was tracking her, that her husband had stolen billions of dollars by robbing the US Treasury and was currently serving a life sentence in prison. She always refused to pay us for our time because "All of the money my husband stole is in our bank account, and if I use a single penny of it the government will know where it's hidden."
She came in once with a standard monitor and ask us to remove the camera that her husband had hid inside of it. She said that he'd watch her from his cell in prison and she didn't like that. Note, this was a $289 compaq desktop with a $79 basic monitor. She didn't have a webcam or mic, but she was convinced her PC was listening to her and watching her.
Sometimes when she'd walk past her PC and accidentally bump the desk the monitor would turn on. She asked how else it could do that unless someone was watching. I told her about how wiggling the mouse can wake up a screen, but she didn't believe me. She brought her unplugged PC in, hooked a mouse to it, wiggled it, and tried to act like that proved me wrong.
She was the projectionist at her church (she was very proud that it was a branch of the Westboro Baptist Church) and said that her husband once hacked the projector from prison and displayed pornography on the screen in front of the whole church.
Anyway, the chain I worked for had a very specific dress code, white shirts, black pants, black clip-on tie, you probably know the one. After months of dealing with this whacko we were all sick of her wasting our time. These stories were entertaining, but when you have a line of 5 people waiting to be helped and she's refusing to leave and refusing to pay, you've got to get her out of there. She was asking for the umpteenth time for us to remove the government's tracking software from her PC, she said the FBI wouldn't stop messing with her. I told her very quietly "Ma'am, I'd love to do that, but I can't." "You mean you don't know how?" "No, I mean I can't. We work with the FBI, the ask us to put this software on computers. I like you. You're a good Christian woman, so I need to tell you that. Why do you think we dress like this? We work for the government ma'am."
Her eyes got to be the size of pie plates and she grabbed her PC and hurried away. To my knowledge she didn't ever come back.
My boss laughed when I told him, but said I probably shouldn't tell people we were putting tracking software on customer's computers.
nubbingobragh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:41:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a student nurse learning to draw blood, my patient is an elderly lady and very confused. I get the tourniquet around her arm but she's telling me a very expressive story moving her hands here and there. I get impatient and lay my hand on her upper arm to stop the story that makes no sense anyway. She's calm and quiet as I get near her with a sharp needle I say, "Hold On I'm About To Do Some Damage"......dead silence then we all bust out laughing saying it over and over again. I couldnt draw her blood because I was laughing so hard I was crying
Henry95- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a coffee shop and this woman who was a wee bit overweight came in and she ordered her coffee and I asked would you like a bun with that, she then said No Iโm trying to be good and I turned around and said itโs probably for the best.
Daviemoo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:42:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
SO I used to work in a photo development place called max spielmanns in my home town, and during the summer i devleoped some photos of a beautiful bride and groom and their honeymoon. I didnt recognise the bride when she came in and was talking to my boss saying something along the lines of 'that is one goood looking man in those photos'. the woman burst out laughing and said 'thanks, i'll tell my new husband that the boy at the photo place thinks he's cute'. cue me dying in the back for a few hours.
throwaway123-456 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:48:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a restaurant, and I frequently say to people when I give them their meals, โenjoy!โ Really enthusiastically. Anyway, sometimes people will order a steak, and Iโll have to give them a steak knife and I wonโt mean to, but Iโll end up saying, โenjoy!โ As I give them their knife. Yeah.... enjoy the knife (I literally facepalm myself as I walk away sometimes.)
my1999gsr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:49:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a first Gen Audi TT owner that his car was basically a more expensive, less reliable Beetle. By the look on his face, I'd assume he had never considered such a thing and was depressed at the idea.
Shas_Erra ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:53:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I said, but what I did.
The Bank Holiday Monday following Easter is one of our busiest for sales. Don't know why, it just is. I can see that the tills are getting slammed with all but one open and everyone has a huge queue. I ask what's wrong with Till 5 because no one has opened it and am told that the scanner was removed because it didn't work.
No problem, you can still type codes in. It's a little slower but anything will help with this rush of customers. So, I jump on the till and start serving.
It takes a little longer to get each customer through but I'm quicker than anyone else for typing codes. But there's one guy getting more and more pissed that I'm not moving fast enough. Finally, impatient dickhead is up and I start keying his items through.
"I wish you'd just hurry up, I've been waiting ages!"
"I'm going as fast as I can sir"
"You'd go faster if you scanned the items instead of typing them in!"
Without saying a word, I held up the empty cable where the scanner was supposed to be attached then carried on. A manager pulled me over later because a customer complained that I was "rude and condescending" while processing their goods.
Edit: my autocorrect is a Mormon
Edit 2: I'm leaving that one...
mikeyb1335 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:56:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a cashier and my bagger was a good friend to me, so we were joking around as usual. One customer had a pack of cans so I reached over and grabbed them and she said โwow your so strongโ. I then replied โoh donโt worry Iโm in constant agonyโ. There was silence for the next 3 minuets.
_whatsisname_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:57:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but one of my mates, we worked in a call centre at the time and usually sat next to each other. He had previously spoken to this customer who called back again after their call, so she asked to speak with him again, usually when we transferred, youd connect to the agent, take the customers details and then click the transfer button but for whatever reason, the other agent cold transferred to my mate who answered with โIโll deal with this bitchโ. Somehow, I donโt think she heard him but we both looked at each other in shock and he immediately hung up. She never called back.
rizz0therat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:58:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once canceling an account for a man who told me he was terminally ill. Out of habit I said "I hope you come back to us soon" at the end of the process.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:12:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer told me I reminded him of Sarah Silverman. Not thinking, I responded, โthanks you too!โ As I dropped off his check, he said that he didnโt actually care for Sarah Silverman, which I responded, โthen maybe you shouldnโt walk around calling people Sarah Silverman?โ Awkwardness ensued.
Nesnie_Lope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:24:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was 17-20, I worked at the local amusement park as one of those "annoying picture people" who stop you for pictures when you come in the park.
My last summer, I was so over the job and over being cussed out all day. I did my spiel and this lady (about my age) completely ignored me, which pissed me off. At least say, "No, thank you" or something.
So I muttered, "Or you can ignore me, that's cool too" to which she yelled, "OR YOU CAN BE RUDE, THAT'S COOL TOO."
That same summer, I had a kid who was 12 or 13 get in my face and yell, "If I want a picture, I'll ask for it" while his friends laughed. I replied, "Okay, asshole" without even thinking. That little douche and his friends immediately stopped laughing and walked away with their heads down.
I was on management for both of these and never got in trouble, even though my employees all heard the second one.
HearingSword ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:27:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"O whats your husband's name?"
"My WIFE'S NAME IS [INSERT NAME HERE]".
My bad, I've since learnt to say "partner" and it is only fair.
Gobscheidt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady came to my checkout with her brood of homeschooled kids in tow. They were fairly regular customers and always seemed pleasant and polite.
It was mid-December and we had a Santa's Grotto in the store. I asked the kids if they had been to see Santa. The mother quickly points out that Christmas should be about Jesus and they did not believe in Santa as he was a secular figure. (not sure which denomination of Christian doesn't like St. Nick but whatevs.)
I said "Oh, of course. It is ridiculous to raise children believing in a mythical figure who watches your every move and judges your actions and motives on an arbitrary set of archaic rules and rewards or punishes you accordingly and Santa is even worse!" She went pale. The kids went silent. My heart stopped.
Fortunately, she did not pursue the matter through my supervisors but from that moment on she made it her mission to convert me and save my soul every time she visited the store.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pharmacy. Sometimes, patients choose to have their medication delivered if theyโre elderly or disabled.
I get back from a week long vacation to work a Saturday afternoon shift. However, our pharmacy and lab closes at 4 pm on saturdays so people can only pick up their medication, not refill or drop off scripts. During this time, the entire part of the pharmacy is closed off from me and I have no access to any scripts that are in the workflow.
Around 5:30 or 6, I get a call from an elderly lady asking if her husbands medication is ready. So I put her on hold to look for her husbands medication on the shelf behind me. After a minute of looking, I couldnโt find it so I take her off hold to tell her that I donโt have the meds so theyโre not ready to be delivered.
She instantly goes off. She starts yelling how this was the third to me this week where she has called and the medication wasnโt ready yet. Sheโs calling me a cold and callous person and how Iโm completely useless. In between her breaths, I try to explain to her how Iโm not part of the filling process, I have no access to the pharmacy, and this is my first day back after a week so I had no involvement in her husbands medication.
She doesnโt bother listening to me and keeps going off and insults and berates me for another 5 minutes. I sit there and take it until she says how her husband has dementia and really needs his medication.
I reply with, โWell if he has dementia, heโs gonna be dead anyways and thereโs no medication that can save himโ
Yeah, it wasnโt my best decision. Anyways, after she hung up, I call the pharmacist (my boss) and let him know the situation. He comes up to the pharmacy personally delivers it to her house.
Draklawl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:42:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer tell me she "didn't understand how people could stand to work retail. I get it that there are people like you who aren't smart enough go to college who need jobs like this, but I could never do it myself"
I asked her what she did, she said "Oh nothing. I just married well" I replied "Well that's nice but not everyone can make a living lying on their back"
Thankfully she didn't understand what implying because she said thanks and left with a smile. My boss thought it was really funny but made sure to understand if she had gotten mad he would have fired me. Worth it.
1047joshua ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So to preface, I work at a Chinese food place, that's actually pretty quality. We make our food to order and accommodate any food allergies or preferences. So a customer, a lady comes in and shes really excited to get some food, she comes in and orders a tofu pad thai with no egg, I'm like "okay cool sure. Some people don't like the egg taste in their noodle dish" but the thing is out pad thai is made with Oyster sauce, so it isn't vegan or vegetarian and we can't make it without it. As she's ordering we start to talk as I ring her out and she says "I love coming here, te he good is so good and vegan friendly, I get the pad thai all the time"...oh no, little did she know this entire time she's been eating oyster sauce, so I say "oh, but our pad thai contains oyster sauce " and her smile drops and she looks shocked, shes angry. "So all those times I've been told that this dish is vegan, was a lie?" Oh no, apparently the co worker whose ring her up before said the dish was vegan not knowing want vegan actually ment, so now I'm in this situation with this angry vegan and I just decide to lie. "Oh, I'm sorry I was thinking of the lovemain, ah yes, the pad thai is vegan sorry for the confusion". I don't know of she believed me or just wanted to, but she got her food, ate it, and left.
DontLetYourslefDoIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:48:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I work at Offie Despot (the C is burnt out on our sign and my managers make the associates lives miserable). I was checking a customer out one time and it was a long, very busy day. I was also kind of new still, and have never had much actual social interaction before this job.
Anyways, this lady comes through and I check her out. She's kind of crazy sounding, justifying to me why she needs a divorce form even though the only thing I ever asked for was her rewards card/phone number. I'm just kind of awkwardly agreeing with her hoping she'll shut up, because she's getting herself pretty heated here.
She pulls out her check book and starts filling it out. I tell her the total and she hands it over and says "haha I bet you don't get too many checks anymore! Most people use debit cards now days. My son doesn't even know how to write one!"
I'm not thinking and never really had any malicious intent towards even flies back then - like a naive child who just trusts everyone to be a good person and no one to take offense to anything. My response was akwardly saying "Yeah, most people who come through when I'm on the registers use cards. The only people I really ever see use checks are older customers." Just trying to agree with her still to avoid the awkwardness and her ranting.
Now keep in mind this lady is like 30 maybe 35 looking max. She promptly gets really snotty and says "Well that's just your opinion!". I don't argue with her cause I know you don't argue with customers here let alone hold up the checkout line. I don't even pay much mind to it and give her the thank you speech we have to give and hand her the receipt.
About 2 minutes later in checking out the next customer and get a call. Caller sounds like a rude lady, demanding for the manager. I'm like k, hold for a second and tell the manager over the radio it's for them.
Well apparently she raged to the manager saying I called her an old lady who didn't know how to use a debit card and all this other bullcrap. Like all I did was agree with her.
Since then I've learned to just say the bare minimum and not be so conversationional with people in checkout to avoid upsetting stupid people. But yeah, she setup a new and awkward cashier and got mad when someone just agreed with everything she said. She's got some other problems in life if this is what she worries about... At 30-35 years old...
neonwhite12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This older lady comes through the drive thru at my work all the time, she was a regular and we were friendly to each other.
One day she comes through and when look in the passenger seat of her car, I notice a big green box that looks like a box of pampers. So I say โoooh diapers! Who had a baby?!โ
She took a long pause and looked at me and said โthose are mineโ. they were depends, adult diapers. Iโve never wanted to quit my job more than that moment.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:02:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy I know came into the bar with a couple of his friends all dressed in suits. I asked him how he was doing, and he said "Not good, I just buried my cousin." I said "Congratulations."
I have no idea why that came out of my mouth. I was just on autopilot and associated suits with something worthy of being congratulated.
RooneyNeedsVats ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:10:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was on my phone at my cash register because it was a super slow day, when all of a sudden a little old lady appears out of nowhere, and with a smile asked me what I was looking at, and me being the smart ass that I am said "Ohhh just looking for another job online."
She laughed, but my manager (who I was friends with) overheard me, face palmed, then walked away shaking her head.
DudeLongcouch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:16:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a manager at Gamestop.
One time I had opened the store and was working by myself for a few hours. A customer in a wheelchair comes in, I ask him if I can help him with anything, he says no, he's just browsing, and I leave him alone.
A few minutes later, he speaks up and says, "Wow, you guys have changed the layout since the last time I was here." This is actually something you hear with great frequency working at a retail store, and I had an automatic response already queued up. It was the same thing I always said when a customer said this, so I didn't even think about it. Unfortunately, the automatic response was, "Yeah. We like to keep our customers on their toes."
He just looked at me, and I had no idea what to follow that up with, so I just walked away.
armalitedan1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A regular customer came in with a bandage where he had lost the tip of a finger. As i handed him his change i said "Here's your finger." His reply was "What?" To this day I dont know how i looked him straight in the eye and said "Here's your change". I think he thought he misheard me.
J0nathanCrane ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:22:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in High School I worked at a grocery store bagging groceries. It was common practice to ask the customer if they wanted they milk in a bag or left out. On one occasion a couple had a gallon of milk and a gallon of distilled water. Without a thought I asked if they would like their jugs in a bag. When neither of them answered I looked up from bagging to see the husband just glaring at me and the way stifling laughter. She was wearing a red v-neck t-shirt that did very little to conceal her ample cleavage... I stammered something about the two containers in front of them realizing my poor choice of words and quickly turned a shade of crimson similar to her v-neck.
hammond55 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a car lot in sales, customer pulls up to the door and starts honking his horn. I proceed to let him know that this isn't McDonalds and if he would like service he needs to get out of his car. Failed to see the handicapped hangar on his rearview. Whoops.
OffTheMerchandise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:26:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy told me that he lost a dog over the weekend. I said "I hope you find it." I almost immediately realized that he meant that the dog died and not that it ran away.
DevilMayCare89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:27:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At least your mom didn't just die. Her mom had just died.
milkandgin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:30:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was carrying a tray of appetizers when a wedding guest asked to steal one the toothpicks. I said please be my guest.
They were the used toothpicks from the appetizer.
His buddy caught on right after he stuck it in his mouth. I apologized.
Vlaed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have business overseas and I will deal with Chinese and Japanese customers, in English. There's a long history and tension between China and Japan, so they will sometimes talk poorly about the other nation/customers to me. Such as, some Chinese will say, "Japanese never get anything done because they think about it for too long." Or the Japanese will say, "The Chinese can't get things done because they buy cheap equipment." I had just gotten off a call with a Japanese customer and I called into another meeting. I forgot I had called into the Chinese customer's meeting and they were talking about a machine issue. I then forgot I was talking to a Chinese customer and not a Japanese one. Then I jokingly said, "Hopefully it wasn't made in China." I then realized who I was on the phone with and went into panic mode. My boss was on the previous call and realize I spaced out and goes, "At least it you're not (Insert Japanese company) because when they break down, they just stare at the problem and go, 'Should we have a meeting to talk about how to talk about fixing this?'" The customer started laughing and moved on. My boss later was like, why? WHY?
magicbluebear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yay I can answer this one! I work behind reception at a holiday park and we were having a darts weekend, which meant lots of large groups of males with beer checking in.
A bloke comes to reception after checking in and says he doesn't have enough bedding (they have one double bed and four singles.) Here's how the conversation went:
Me: I'll get you some more bedding, no worries.
Guy: Yeah, cheers. To be honest, we're just gonna push them (beds) all together anyway.
Me: (imagining one huge bed and them all sleeping together in a big hamster pile) Uh...okay man, whatever floats your boat I guess. What happens at darts weekend stays at darts weekend.
Guy: No, no! We're going to push the single beds together so each guy has a double!
Thank God he laughed and didn't take it the wrong way!
Nemo_Nation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:44:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An old lady was just finishing her purchase and told me to have a wonderful day. I said back "I hope you have a good rest of your days". I was meant to say "day", not "days". Needless to say, it got pretty awkward from there.
Eirysse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:46:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a Tim Hortons, in drive through this regular was complaining that his kid was always late because our line was always so slow and long: "Don't come in line then" I havent seen him since.
Ogr384 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:57:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I started cursing in Slovenian, to myself, while fixing a bunch of mistakes from the planogram team and this old lady looked at me and shook her head and said I shouldn't say those things.
Another time a customer came in and walked up to my friend and said he sold him a bullshit broken phone and my friend said no sir you're bullshit.
The best one was when I had a store manager who did not give af about complaining customers. This lady was telling him do you know how much money I spend here and he starts looking around the cabinets behind guest service. He pops up and says I'm sorry I was looking for the trophy for best customer
DuceW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:16:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
๐โโ๏ธ
Chingparr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:12:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work IT for an Airline.
Back in my Hell(p) Desk days, I had a flight attendant with her company issued iPad call complaining about an app taking too long to sync (after she deleted it and re-added it)
I tried to walk her through the process and she kept arguing with me.
"No, that's not how that works! What do you they pay you for! You have no idea what you're doing!"
I said: Ma'am... I don't tell you how to pass out peanuts, don't tell me how to fix your iPad.
Rob1150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Savage burn...
Chingparr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The write up was fun
phildoc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:23:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a bit late to the party but here goes:
So I was working in Argos (Britain) at Christmas time selling all sorts of things. I was fairly new to the job, and inherently socially awkward, so I kept to a similar script whenever I was giving a customer their item from the back.
This worked quite well until this one time: Me: โWould you like your item bagged?โ Them: โYes please.โ Me: โIs this for you or a gift for someone else?โ
I look up to see a wide-eyed lady collecting the male shaver that I have just hurriedly bagged as she responds: โa gift.โ
practicalm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:40:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A long time ago during the Christmas rush when everyone in the game store worked 13 hour days (great overtime pay), I was working the cash register as the store was closing. The last person was finally being rung up when she suddenly started to question her purchases. It being 30 minutes past closing, I said, โMaโam, the time for decisions has past.โ
I didnโt work the cash register the rest of that Christmas.
Loved that job.
nickyursofine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:12:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It wasnt a customer for me but to an applicant. I wasnt sure of his skills so I was deliberating in my mind if I should short list him or not. I ended the interview and blurted: "Looking forward to working with you." I immediately took it back and said, "I meant talking to you again."
Skr000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:16:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a grocery store in college and the local warehouse went on strike once so we had a very, very small amount of product to put out. We were out of everything and couldn't fulfill the sale items for the current ad. After a day of getting screamed at by customers for being out of products, I was finally closing up shop and 15 minutes away from freedom. A woman comes up and asks where the family packs of chicken are. Before I can answer, she goes on a tirade about how we never order anything and we're always out of everything.
I finally said, "Look lady, the warehouse is on strike, it's really not our fault we don't have chicken." She immediately sees red and screams at me, "HOW DARE YOU. MY HUSBAND WORKS THERE AND IF THEY PAID HIM A DECENT WAGE HE WOULDN'T NEED TO GO ON STRIKE!" So I said, "Well, if you want some chicken, you should probably tell your husband to go to work."
supervision_required ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:21:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer said they were going to get service with our competitor. I said "okay, my husband works there in sales so ask for Tim."
alandhisguitar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:31:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a library, 2010.
Guy comes in, asks if he can use our fax machine.
Before I know what Iโm doing I say โsorry, we left it in 1989โ.
Still gives me flashbacks. What a dick.
metastasis_d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:57:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Subway. A dad and kid come through the line. Dad wants the kid to order for himself. Kid does okay until he gets to vegetables. "Uhhhhhhhh..."
So I say "too late, lettuce and tomatoes" and start slapping them down. The kid looked a little dejected but his dad just started laughing and went about the rest of the order.
Yanwes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:09:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have black and white driver licenses in Virginia. I asked a black customer at a table for his I.D. when he ordered a beer. The photo was terrible. I couldn't recognize a facial feature at all. I said aloud, "The lighting is terrible in this photo." Him and the two girls just looked at me shocked for a second, but didn't say anything. I told them I'll get them their drinks. They ended up leaving a zero in the tip line. I felt bad. I didn't mean it in any racial say, but they were certainly offended. Oh well. It was years ago.
Atamask ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:15:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure if this counts but I use to work at a KFC and one day this lady comes in and asks for all the chicken we have (like 3 family meals) and leaves. She was a bit rude but nothing out of the average. She comes back an hour later and says her chicken was cold. (Well duh I thought it's been an hour...also when I gave her the meals that chicken had been out maybe 15m so totally on her) and she wanted another 3 family meals for free.
...well now I hated my job back then and the manager was a drunk pos so fine by me :) let the chicken rain down...but I tell her it'll be 45 minutes cause we have to make her more chicken since she cleaned us out an hour ago and the chicken we just fixed went to some old people and the bar. She is furious that it takes time to make chicken and that chicken doesn't just magically exist in deep fried form (she's enormous I don't know if that matters but it was more humerous to me) I gave this lady her free 4th 5th and 6th family meal of the day and she says thank you...then just looks at me expecting a "you're welcome" it's here I realized she doesn't understand how that expression works at all because she wasn't welcome, I wasn't welcome, no one was welcome about this. I don't say anything to her, she repeats it louder and more aggitated staring daggers at me. ...I swear it was a whole minute before she finally walked away and when she got to the door she screames "YOU'RE WELCOME" to which I reply "not really" She didn't turn around, I have no idea if she heard me.
TL;DR a lady spends hours getting free chicken at a KFC only to get mad that I wouldn't say "you're welcome"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:17:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a hotel. We had a sports team staying with us and all 200 rooms wanted late checkout because "our game doesn't end until noon" (not my fault or problem). Well we gave out 5 late checkouts as per policy and then said no more.
I got a phone call from a grown ass sports mom who was full on whining like a child denied candy about "whyyyyyy did theyyyyyy get a late checkout and I didnnnnn't it isn't faiiiiiiiirrrr." I tried to explain it is first come first serve. The whining continued.
My filter failed and I said "ma'am I have other matters to attend to and I don't have time to listen to you whine like a toddler." She did not like that.
I have subsequently asked our sales team if "no late checkouts" can be put into sports contracts.
stickmarket ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one is a little more light-hearted than most of the comments here, but it is still something I may never forget.
It was my first day working at a call centre for a popular pizza place, so my trainer/supervisor was sitting in on my calls in case any questions came up. A man called in with his order, and for some reason I needed to check something with my supervisor. There was no script or anything, so when it came time to ask the caller if he would mind holding for a minute, this cringe-worthy line fell out of my face: "Sir, could I hold you for a minute?" Cue awkward silence from the man, and wide eyes from my supervisor.
Another quick one that was not bad at all, just dumb, came out when I was confirming the spelling of something - I said "K like Kathy? ... ... with a K?"
birdlawschool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:09:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working as a busser, I told a couple that their baby was cute. It would've been fine if I had left it at that, but then for some reason I said "I remember when I was that cute" before getting a panicked look on my face and running away.
Another time, at my current job as a cashier, I was ringing up a woman with a drooling baby. I told her that her baby was leaking, before adding that I presumed that that was a normal thing to happen...
Sometimes it's a wonder that I don't embarrass myself more lmao
buttfacedmiscreant11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:48:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is late and will absolutely get buried, but I used to work as a cashier at a supermarket. A guy comes in, buys four big boxes of condoms and a bunch of bananas. Without thinking, as I ended conversations with all my customers, I said โbye, have a nice evening!โ. He absolutely thought I was being sarcastic.
ughhuuuh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a hotel front desk when a man and younger woman came to check into a room for the night. I placed some paperwork for them to sign and give back, suddenly this guy slaps his mangled ninja-turtle looking three finger hand on the desk to snatch the paper. Well, I wasn't expecting that and yelled out in surprise Aaaahhh! Super brief but loud and rude. He gave me an unpleasant look, his female companion laughed and I pretended like I didn't just react to his disability like it was a Halloween haunted house show. Gave 10% discount to the room rental.
*edited for spelling
snakessssssssss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:15:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a full serve gas station. I was filling up an old ladyโs car with premium when our massive gas delivery truck came to load up our tanks for the week, and promptly blocked this ladyโs car from going forward. This happens pretty often and most people have no trouble just backing up and turning around. But this lady looks at me and shrieks, โGreat! Now how am I supposed to get out of here!โ
Perplexed and not really thinking, I reply, โmaโam, do you not know how to reverse your car?โ
She snaps, โoh! Itโs that easy is it!โ
To which I replied, โmaโam, if you donโt know how to reverse, should you be driving...?โ
She started yelling at me and said I was being ignorant and rude and she was never coming to this gas station again. I realized after it came out of my mouth it wasnโt kind, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
maxative ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:36:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When you get a particularly rude customer, ask them politely not to swear at you and remind them youโre here to help. I guarantee, without exception, they will lose their fucking shit.
TheAsianTroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:23:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been waiting for this one.
Poor naive 16 year old me. And poorer customer who had the misfortune of dealing with me before I learned to lie if it meant flattering the customer.
Lady walks in. Pleasant smile, nice, looked like she had a decent amount of foundation on. She's friends with my boss, Mike.
She gets her stuff, comes over to check out, compliments me on how polite I am with people. Now, me being dumb, I tell her I'm very observant and good at guessing. Hope you have your popcorn, people.
She's interested in my guessing abilities. She tells me to guess her age. I decline, telling her I should probably begin closing shop. She insists. Mike is in earshot now, cleaning the cutting boards.
I tell her "ok, fine... you look about 45." Mike busts out laughing. I look over at him, then back at the lady. Her mouth is wide open. "Excuse you, I'm 33 years old!"
My little Asian eyes widened as I began apologizing profusely while Mike is nearly in tears from laughing so hard. She takes her receipt and storms out in a huff. Mike looks up at me, still beaming, and said "She's not happy with you dude."
Gave me shit over this for the entire 3 years I worked there. I miss that job. Never guessed people's ages again after that.
Quick edit: I want to also share a story from my perspective, that happened between a coworker (who was a bit of a pompous dick over his military history) and a customer. Lady walks in, stands around for 3 minutes on her phone. She sees my co-worker walking by, snaps her fingers, points at the display, and says "Scallops." To which my coworker, while still walking, looks at her, snaps his fingers, points at the ground and says "Manners." Woman didn't like that.
mannercat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working apple care I asked a customer why theyโd spend $10,000 on an Apple Watch.
justanothercurse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers were semi regulars and always rude. My employee wasnโt having it that day and was being kind of short with him but still making his sandwich. Guy turns to her and asks why she has an attitude. My employee kept quiet but I was done with it. I just looked up and said, maybe itโs because you are incredibly rude and always are? Never saw them again.
elcd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Called a client, was my last call of the day.
Left a super professional message, as was the norm.
Hung up the phone, and whooped a "Fuck yeah. I'm out bitches!"
... I hadn't hung up the phone.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This guy I refer as Vet (he's a Vietnam war Veteran) came through my line and told me he'd lost his leg and he was wearing a prosthetic. I automatically smiled and said, "Sir, did you kick someone and your leg flew off?"
Oh my god, the shock on his face. My face immediately froze and I could think was "oh god, what did I just say?"
Vet: -after a moment of astonishment- I wish more people were like you! Have a GOOD day! :D
He came to be one of best customer I ever had and he was a total sweetheart. He would come in about once a month to buy groceries for people in need and bring it to them. He even yelled at a lady once when the line was severely backed up and I was the only cashier at the front and she kept throwing stuff at me.
Worst thing I ever said to a customer, but easily one of my favorite interactions with a wonderful human being.
goth-pigeon-bitch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:56:36 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally told a customer to have a good evening when it was only about 1:30 in the afternoon, although in my defense, I had taken some motion sickness medication a little while ago.
Skiroule69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:37 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had this regular who was always super rude, always an entitled attitude. One time he caught me on a bad day, and when he pulled the "Don't you know who I am? Don't you know how much money I spend in your store per year?" routine (answer: not much...he always got quotes from us and then took them somewhere else to get them price matched or beaten), I let him have it. Keeping profanity out of it, I told him I didn't really care who he was, and that he was an absolute zero to me. To be fair, he was firing back at the same time. The whole time this was happening, I was thinking "I am sooooo fired" but kept going anyway. After the call ended, I rang up my boss and told him exactly what I had done. He was flabbergasted and didn't really know what to say.
A few minutes later the guy called me back and to my shock, apologized for the attitude. I did the same, and although he quit coming to our location (some good came of it) we moved on with a mutual agreement to pretty much avoid each other but keep things civil.
barkarse ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:55 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a lady program her remote. The pattern goes something like...
"please hold down the setup button until you see the light change"
The process had round robined about 10 times and the lady started to talk about the other buttons on the remote... out of frustration I said "we need to press the STUPID button"
There was no stop in her pace of babbling so I dont think she heard me, and I was never talked to about it, so I got away with it.
FuckYouGoodSirISay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:06 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but when I worked for a remote medical records company, I was tasked with hunting down a death certificate to remove the patient from a transplant list. After being transferred all around one of the biggest hospitals in the south west regions of the united states, several including the chief of security for the campus. I lost it on the secretary after she told me they don't store dead bodies there. In a slightly too loud void I screamed THEN WHERE DO YOU KEEP ALL YOUR DEAD PEOPLE AT? Apparently they now teach tact when dealing with the deceased in orientation now...
justdownvote ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:54 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a call center as a temp job for an apparel manufacturer. We had just been released from a meeting disclosing that two new manufacturing plants were just being opened, but we were not to disclose this to customers because the company prided itself on having a Made In The USA reputation, which was only half-truth because we did have an in-house sewing facilities for rush orders.
The very first call I took was from an inquisitive buyer who happened to ask explicitly where these clothes were made, and I really didn't care about the job enough to disclose immediately that we had several overseas manufacturing plants. I was let go in a week.
ohmy-wow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:23 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer but a patient. Was scheduling them a dental appointment, and we are booked out pretty far. I let her know that, but remembered that we have days set for patients with diabetes. I asked her If she was diabetic and she said, โyeah I have diabetesโ so I said โOH COOL...โ interrupted from telling her she could get seen sooner, she told me, โno not coolโ I was cringing at myself
TheLastEggplant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:14 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a receptionist at a main front desk for a medium sized university. One of our requirements for all students of all ages who come to our campus is an online course on how to not die of alcohol poisoning, sexual assault prevention, etc. People donโt like it, especially people who arenโt 18 year old freshmen, but itโs mandatory, and if they donโt do it, they canโt register for classes.
So a dad calls me to complain about his daughter, who is an older transfer student, having to take this course and being blocked from registering and how itโs going to affect her education. Iโm already annoyed because itโs my 100th call about the course that day, and because the dad is lying (or the daughter is, I guess) and heโs saying she was never notified about the course. I am polite and courteous and end the call.
Half an hour later the dad calls back and demands to speak to me, by name, so he can yell at me some more. Iโm trying to explain, AGAIN, why we require the course: itโs a two-fold course that teaches safety but also reminds students that they need to check their email and take responsibility for their own shit. They get weekly reminders and itโs not our fault if they ignore them. What comes out of my mouth though is โsir, your daughter needs to be taught a lesson.โ
That went over poorly.
BurtonsProtege ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:48:59 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
bruh... this guy called saying his pizza was wrong when it wasn't then he got mad cause he thought I sounded "high" on the phone (it's funny cause everyone but me and another co worker doesnt smoke weed...) anyways, they got angry and said "Do you have a manager?" and I said yea, and they asked "can I speak to him?" 2/3 of my managers are women, and I am also a women and for him to assume gender made me mad so... I said in an annoying voice "She's a women" and he got SOOOOO MAD. ... Anyways everyone laughs about it now and was on my side cause he was a dick!
CrystalMeme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:53 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had told a customer to talk to another employee for some advice on something, they came back and thanked me and said "Yeah thanks for turning me onto [NAME]!" My joking with a friend kicked in and I said "Turned ya on huh?" in a sexual manner. LUCKILY AS FUCK it went right over their head conversation didn't miss a beat.
textpoops ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:25 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I said, but something said to me. Summer 2012 shortly after the aurora shooting, I went to Disneyland wearing a Batman shirt. As we pulled up to the parking lot I handed the attendant my pass to get in, and he looks at my shirt and says "youre not coming in to shoot the place up are you?"
ymontserrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:32:20 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This did not happen to me but happened to a person I worked with at a call center.
This customers was yelling at him desperately because he did not read the terms and conditions when renting a car and did not know if he prepaid and then canceled there would be a cancellation fee, heโs furious and tells him that this is not HIS fault because he called and an agent made the booking for him and did not tell him the policy, but we can see if the booking was made by call/chat/website; so he made it himself and this guy couldnโt refund his money. There were no managers available as they were attending other calls and told him to wait and this customer was furious. My co-worker put the โmute buttonโ and proceeded to say a really bad word in Spanish, then the customer starts to yell way higher and tells him he knows Spanish and is going to report him. My co worker ended the call but this customer kept calling until he got him back!
This guy lost the job.
CheeseGoddess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:56:33 on April 8, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory "happened to my coworker, not me." Also, coworker and customer both said things that they probably shouldn't have. I'll let you decide who won.
I used to work at a call center for a division of Asurion that provides service and replacement plans for general merchandise from almost 300 retailers. Know how you always get asked if you want a plan for certain electronics at Walmart? That was us. We worked in the computer help desk. My work bestie (who I'm still close to) happened to be a black lady (relevant) from Chicago, so she definitely has a little bit of the Chicago "don't have any fucks to give."
Standard procedure for pretty much any call center is to get your customer's name up front so you know what to call them. Customer failed this very basic interaction in the worst way. The exchange was basically as follows:
Friend: May I have your name please? Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises. Friend: Thanks. Could I just get your name please? Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises. Friend: Again, thank you, sir, but so that I can address you during this call, may I please have your own name? Guy: [whatever his company name was] Enterprises.
And this is where her demographics became relevant. Her Chicago kicked in, and...
Friend: (with a hint of sarcasm) Thank you, Mr Enterprises. Guy: Are you black? Now extra irritated friend:.. .... ...... Excuse me? Guy: hangs up
This was also a rare slow time on the phones for us, so most of us were not on calls. This also means it was relatively quiet, so a lot of us could hear the exchange. We snickered at "Mr Enterprises" but when we heard him ask about her blackness, several people scooted back a little on the off chance all 5'2" of her came out of her chair and tried to shove her keyboard through the phone and down his throat. Even better, our phone system had a "feature" that call backs would rout to the last agent you spoke with, in case a call dropped or they needed to call back, as long as the agent was available. He called back 3 times and just hung up every time she answered.
Bryanime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:37:46 on April 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a large chain store in Idaho. I had a woman once, with three or so kids come through my line and they were being rowdy, as children do. About half-way through the transaction and her yelling at her children she turns to me and says jokingly "do you want a couple kids?" Me: "Well, I'm not allowed to have pets in my apartment, sooo..."
Thankfully, she thought it was funny. I apologized anyway.
trouble37 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:50:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was fundraising for the Republican Party back in 09. I had a gentleman on the phone who was upset with the Republican party and was hesitant to donate after how bad things went with George Bush. I switched my normal hardline tone that was working with most republicans to something more moderate. I managed to get him to agree to donate. He said something along the lines of, "I hope we can get things turned around, get this economy going again", etc. I responded with, "oh we will sir, with your support we will be able to do some real damage in the upcoming elections. Knew I blew it as soon as I said it. The gentleman said, "we arent trying to do damage, we are trying to do something good. I apologized and tried to explain it being a figure of speech, but he was already turned off and decided not to donate.
For the record, im not a republican. I was just paid to fundraise for right wing political organizations. Im sorry.
Mudgeon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:44:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you did a lot of good for the Democrats while you were doing this. So I wouldnโt sweat it get paid man.
DragonSpikez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I called a female customer "sir" one time. In my defense it looked like a man from behind (I was a cashier at the time, trying to call her over to a register)
SweatyGazelle11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I can help who ever is ready/ next"
Worked 2 years in retail and 5 years in food. Currently manage a food spot and this is the go to line because I refuse to say sir or ma'am or mention someone being pregnant lmao
Edit: I forgot the "/"
Hewfe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a manager at a pizza delivery place, having one of those days where everything goes wrong. Iโm working the line, and a Coworker is taking a phone order when something tiny set me off.
I grabbed the nearest thing, a bottle of butter for the crust, and hurled it down the line in to a wall while yelling โfuck this job!โ at full volume.
Guy placing his order heard that, and was like โyou know what? I think Iโm good.โ And hung up the phone.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:24:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not with a customer, but a co-worker mentioned something about hair care to me and I said "No offense, but you're black and your hair is different than mine so that probably wouldn't work." (I'm white and do NOT have curly hair)
Co-worker was really offended because apparently her family was from Latin America, and then asked me how I could have possibly thought she was black. She has dark almond-shaped eyes, a broad nose, and an AAVE accent (which, in my area, is almost exclusively heard from blacks. I think I've only heard maybe 5 non-blacks in my lifetime with that accent and dialect).
I told her this and she had no idea what an AAVE accent was. I tried my best to describe it without crudely imitating the accent because I knew it would sound offensive if I did. I even mentioned some celebrities that had it and she still didn't understand.
Finally I said, "Well.... sometimes people call it a 'ghetto' accent, but that's a really stupid and racist name because it's common in a lot of areas. That's the only other name I've heard it called, though."
She went straight to the managers and told them that I said she "looked black and sounded ghetto."
I STILL have no idea how else I could have described it to her...
Johnvonhein1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:24:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer, but I remember I started shoving a co-worker in the backroom who had been bothering me for the better part of the year, the inner rage gangster specter possessed me, "This what you want huh? What are you going to do? What, huh? What? Try something, bitch!" He was getting shoved into boxes, I was kicked/pushing him when he tried to get to his feet to keep him off balance. All the while my heart was bouncing in my chest like a bouncy ball chucked by an MLB pitcher into a phone booth. My mind was saying, Oh my god, you're fighting at work. You can be fired. You're going to get fired! You might even get worse than that. Instead, the guy's hands went up over his face. "Hey...hey...HEY...cool it, man, cool it..okay?" Then he got up, looked at me for a second, and we quietly got back to work. He never reported it, and he acted perfectly cordial towards me the entirety we knew each other after that.
SaintGrey ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:41:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my teens i had a job at an IT and small electrical goods support center. Being a nerdy teenage only child male I had no experience wth the opposite sex. One fine day a customer called me in tears about her broken computer and i advised that she should eat some icecream, watch a RomCom and call me back when she was feeling better.
She then asked to speak to my manager who then gave me a written warning and an akward talk about how to relate to the opposite sex in a professional manner.
TheTrumpsOfDoom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About 2008, working at McDonald's. They had me on the register. A guy comes in and asks for a Double Quarter Pounder meal, super sized. I told him "I can get you a large, but Super Size has been discontinued".
He asks, "When they'd do that?"
I said "About... three years ago? It was on the news. Leno and Letterman made jokes about it."
He responded with a look of blank incomprehension. I continued, "It was after Morgan Spurlock made that movie, Super Size Me. Where he ate only McDonald's for 30 days, and took super size whenever it was offered." Still a blank look. "And it almost killed him, the grease and salt in our food just about shut down his liver, and he could have died. Total PR nightmare. You hear about that?" Blank. Incomprehension. "I probably shouldn't have said that last part, about our food killing people, huh? Like I shouldn't have said that out loud. Not when you're trying to order that food. That was a bad, huh?" Just a blank stare. "So...large Double Quarter Pounder meal, that sound good? I can make that happen. It's gonna be [sum of money]".
And that was another entry on the long list of Crap That Didn't Get Me Fired From McDonald's. They put up with a lot of my shenanigans because I showed up every day I was scheduled and didn't randomly wander off from my assigned station to play on my phone.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:58:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a bartender and a group of guys come in and order some fruity martinis. I ask if their husbands will be joining them... They were not amused and complained to management. Still don't regret it!
[deleted] ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 02:08:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Jeanpuetz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 04:57:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Feels more like OP is the one who's insecure about masculinity tbh
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:11:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
fastfood12 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:37:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During a parent/teacher conference, I was explaining why I didn't have too many grades I'm social studies. I explained that I'm today's world of education, social studies is the "red-headed step child." The student we were meeting about was actually a red-headed step child. Oops.
DragonDeadite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My mother is a red-head and used to love making read-headed step child jokes growing up. Might be a reason why she doesn't take my calls anymore...
Gebraheel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What does a summer's eve even smell like?"
Had a discussion with my wife once where we made fun of various scent names... apparently thinking out loud about that conversation while at work is not something people appreciate.
Manice08 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:38:32 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm pretty good at fixing computers"....
xtremeggnog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What are you gonna do, stab me?"
BittahZamurai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:09:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was approaching an incredibly obvious gay couple and the entire walk to them I thought "man those are a couple of super gay dudes". So I finally get to them and say VERBATIM "Hey, Can I help you gays GUYS! with anything?" I yelled "guys" after saying gays only making it that much more obvious. They were cool about it, but I thought I was for sure getting fired.
juliathegolden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a call center for a major cellular phone provider and I was still in training. I updated a customer's account and they realized they were getting a discount for something and they asked if I put it on there, and I reply, 'oh no! You get that for being a badass customer!"
one of my trainers looked at me so weird but the customer thought it was funny
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a customer, I was a patient on a hospital. And my cute gastroenterologist wanted to check inside my uranus for the second time after painfully fingering it few days ago. I jokingly told her "is that your fetish?", to the shock of the assistant doctor, I instantly regretted it.
I hope she didn't hear it as she was looking somewhere else when I said it
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:54 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was the customer, but I shit-talked a restaurant once inside the restaurant as the waitress was coming up. Really, my comment was just about how my mother hates it and how it got bad reviews.
The waitress and I just stared.
Apkoha ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: /r/thatHappened
BeaverVest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:49:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a movie theater and was working box office where we sell tickets. The box office is outside and it was the winter time, however we have a heater in the box office so we don't freeze in our short-sleeved uniforms. Well, when it's cold outside and warm inside, the tiny hole where we exchange money and tickets creates suction in towards me.
Everyone comments on it, and I must have been in a bad mood, because when this woman just drops her twenty on the counter expecting it to stay there, it flies in into my chest and falls to the ground. She proceeds to say something stupid like "Woah it's like a vacuum in there! Trying to get all our money!" I decided to take this opportunity to tell her about the hot/cold and how it creates a vacuum and then I said "Yea, that's how science works." She was kind of dumbfounded and was thinking of something to say, I just interrupted "Enjoy the movie!"
CoffeeBeanDriven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:51:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hot air expands. It would rush to fill a cold space.
Your heater was sucking in air.
urtley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Approached customer looking at products...their back to me.
"Can I help you, sir?"
It was a woman.
fatherjimbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a call center and the lady that sits behind me said (after she learned the customer was getting married) "Have fun on your wedding night"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My cat doesnโt do that!
Gneissisnice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a college bookstore for a while. During rental returns, I was checking a girl's books in and I recognized her name from a mutual friend on Facebook.
I wad like "hey you're Natalie's roommate, right?" and she was immediately caught off guard and said yes. I continued with "I recognized your name from Facebook."
That didn't seem to help, she was kinda weirded out the whole time.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Greeting them cheerfully and telling them I'm there to help, then they actually want me to help them, then they don't buy anything.
AlohaItsASnackbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not allowed to talk to most of my clients because I don't get regrets like that.
neBneT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a Midwesterner, I'd like to commend you on your correction. While we all say Meijers in conversation, you can't let outsiders in on that secret. I just wanted to say thanks for representin'. I tip my Whiskey and Vernor's to you, sir/ma'am ๐ป
Captain_Shrug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:02:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I help you find something?"
Guy screamed in "I-just-did-a-bunch-of-meth-ese," pulled out one of those serrated kitchen bread knives and started for me. I found out that a fat guy can -really- move when he's scared, as I ended in in the back room before I knew it.
To explain: I was, at the time, working at a Wal Mart Grocery store. Despite not being in a bad neighborhood, after dark it seemed the only people we had around were junkies, lowlifes, creepy folk and similar.
louierosner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me sir." It was a ma'am.
iacyclist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in water damage restoration, customer forgot he shut his sump pump off and came home to a basement full of water. We show up, take a look around, get the paperwork started, and he asks for an estimate.
I'm still pretty new to this job, and I want to help the guy out so I add everything up I've got so far and it's about $1100. I mention this isn't how much it's going to be, just what I have so far.
After getting all the water extracted and equipment set up, we leave and my coworker does the math on equipment costs per day of drying. $750/day with a minimum of 3 days to dry.
My heart dropped. Total job cost was $3700. No more estimates for me!
Petwins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a consultant to check with his client for an issue because โyour client should have completed the basic training and thus be able to walk you through this process.โ
DontToewsMeBro2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i talked about a girl with pierced nipples & i guarantee you this person never wants to talk to me again
MrBond90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You see the color of my skin?
sikkerhet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
once a guy said "somebody should pop you in the face" and I said "go for it"
Kiausican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working dealing with repossessed cars (determining if customers could get it back, getting the car valued, prepped for sale, lotted to auction, authorising sales etc).
Had a total douchebag of a customer making all sorts of demands and telling me what I will & won't be doing. Tried explaining to him that he wasn't in a position to make such ridiculous demands as I could just say no & be done with him.
He carried on and then stopped & asked why I wasn't responding. Stupidly said "you know the saying, we don't negotiate with terrorists? I don't need to negotiate with you". he got a tad offended.
edit: spelling
Taaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told an irate customer who was proclaiming that they were going to make a complaint to head office. to "make sure they explain the entire situation, not just the bits that make it sound better, oh and say hi to <Higher Up Manager's name> for me, not seen him in a while, nice bloke."
ThePrincessOfMonaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a coffee shop/bakery when I was 19. One typical day, we had a line of waiting customers going all the way out the door. The woman I was trying to help looked like she was on the verge of full panic mode. She said, "OMG. There's a fly in the bakery case!!!" I said, "Well, taking it out now won't change the fact that it's been in there for awhile. Want something else?" She was pissed.
thedolphingangbang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a grocery store and see alot of different customers. So this one day, a customer walks in and I thought he looked familiar (he looked alot like this customer from last night) so after chatting for a minute or two, I ask him what he wants. He tells me, and I start on the order. I ask him if he was the guy from the night before. He says no, (obviously, thinking he was just joking) I respond with "must be another handsome guy" he stared at me for a little bit. Got his food and left. One of my bosses looks at me and I say ''that's how you do it''she starts laughing really hard and tells me of a customer (both my boss and customer overheard what I said) who was questioning if I was gay after I said that.
Tacoman50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Answered a bunch of questions about an expensive collectible and wanted to give the customer a minute to think about it. Intended to say, โIf you have any more questions, donโt hesitate to ask.โ
Coworker told me after the customer walked I said, โIf you have any more questions, donโt bother to ask.โ
marry_me_sarah_palin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was walking my route one day as a mailman, and I was on the phone with a fellow carrier talking about politics and such because it helps make the day go quicker. I was repeating to him some crazy racist thing I heard on the radio that morning, and I even prefaced it by saying I should be careful repeating this, since if someone heard me they will be offended. Right after I finished saying it I walked around the corner and literally the only black woman who lives on my route was there. I tried to explain to her that I was just repeating something I couldn't believe I heard on the radio, but she just gave me a dirty look, and has given me the stinkeye since.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally called an old lady sir to her face. She lost it and told my manager.
ProjectShadow316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before, but way back when I was working in an electronics store just out of high school, this guy with glasses in my section walked toward me, motioned me to "come here" with his finger, and turned up the aisle toward boomboxes/stereos. I helped him out and everything, and then I had to open my mouth and say "The next time you need help, just call me by my name. It's right on my nametag." He apologized, then apparently ran right to the store manager to rat me out. After getting my statement on what happened, I was fired two days later.
doublesoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Less said, and more did. In high school, I was closing down the store (Subway) at the end of the night and had a fellow coworker with me (not on clock, in street clothes). A customer came up to the locked door and asked to get a sandwich. It was 15 mins. past closing and everything was put away. I denied him and he and wasnโt happy and gave a nasty look to my coworker, thinking he was a customer. He backed out and I thought pulled away (dark out, poorly lit parking lot). I was joking with my coworker and said I should have pulled the clock off the wall pointed at it and laughed. But I actually did this to show how I would do it. We heard a screech of brakes. The guy jumped out of his van, pounded on the door, yelled โfuck youโ and sped off into the night. We were so shook up we thought this dude would come back and wait for us to leave, so my coworker took off immediately and told me โgood luck.โ The pissed off look on that dudes face for me mocking him had me scared to leave, but thankfully never saw him again.
Gabenfoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working third shift at a gas station, we had a machine where people could redeem points they'd earned for free sodas and such. Around midnight, the machine had gone down (note that it was very clearly not working), but I hadn't gotten around to putting an out of service sign on it yet.
A guy came in at 4AM to redeem his points to get something, and when I saw him going towards the machine, I told him the machine was down, to which he replied that I should put an out of service sign on it. I told him I was getting around to doing it, but I was really busy at the moment (4AM is when I had to start making coffee and hotdogs, and also when it started to get busy). He said again that I should put a sign on it so people knew it wasn't working, and I told him that I would as soon as I was done.
As he was leaving, he said something along the lines of "If you can't do your job, you shouldn't work here", to which I replied "If you can't not be an asshole, maybe you shouldn't come here"
I got written up for that one.
coolchazine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a bookstore that sold a lot of "gift" (ie non-book) stuff. We got a call from a woman who asked if these vases she wanted had been put on hold. I checked and could not find them. I asked her what she was looking for, looked all around the store for them and still could not find the vases. I told the customer this (sometimes stuff shows up as "in stock" in our system when it's really not) and then this woman started to get really aggressively angry. I'm usually good at keeping my cool but then the woman said "I'll report you to the head office" and I said "You're welcome to" and then hung up. I got some shit from my manager later when the woman called back and I never again lost my temper like that.
ThaddyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was making a delivery to a mechanic, there's an SUV on the lift that's obviously been in a serious accident. I made some joke about "that'll buff right out" or something, the guy tells me a lady died in the accident.
"Oh."
level1biscuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 18 bussing tables at a steakhouse. A customer asked me if I had tried the new Ethiopian restaurant down the road. I said, "I don't like dirt". It was insensitive to say the least.
twirlergirl42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was closing my drive thru Starbucks one night, and I was the only one on the floor. Our headsets have a mode that allow us to just talk to other employees wearing headsets. My supervisor was in the back doing money stuff, and we were talking about asshole customers. This really nice lady came in so I paused to take her order. I started up the conversation again and mentioned something about coming in right before closing and I said โwell I try not to be rude and come in in like the last hour before closingโ. I thought I was being quiet enough and I meant when going to a sit-down restaurant, but the lady didnโt hear that. She didnโt say anything to me but I could tell she heard and she was hurt. I feel bad about it because she was very polite and patient.
Borisonabadday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Doing telemarketing for a cancer charity. Had a call to a person named Ward. She was kind of snippy and rude and I said โaww, was Ward a little hard on the Beaver last night?โ
That was my last day at that job. ๐
milkcustard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a 911 caller who was just all over the place and not listening to anything I said and wasn't even having an emergency, just reporting two women that were walking up to the houses in the area and no one was home; his concerns were legit, as there had been a lot of package thefts in the area, but he was an asshole and kept cutting me off when I asked him something and wouldn't let me get a word in. This was especially annoying, as our center had gotten reamed from admin because our call time stats were abysmal. To top it all off, he was a white guy and kept referring to them as colored and as bitches.
Eventually, I asked him, "please stop using racist language, sir."
I shouldn't have said that. This annoyed him and he said he wasn't racist. I told him that I didn't say he himself was racist, just his language was offensive to me. He got quiet and I was able to get the info my officers were sending me notes about. He later called and complained to my supervisor, and they were both in agreement that I shouldn't have lectured him so I was officially written up and it's in my employee file.
jburch818 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working at subway and a customer asked for 1/2 a foot long and I immediately replied without hesitation or thought, I have your six inches right here. Instantly I regretted saying it, and the customer was taken back and said, What the fuck did you just say to me"? I said I was sorry and that I'm just as shocked as you...he literally left cussing me out saying I should watch who I fuck with.
sjarvis456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can help you sir!!!! It was a woman...... She didn't look like a man, I was in a repetitive mode ringing people up at the register. I didn't even really look up when I said it. Her expression was priceless.
WanderingNomad16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at a customer service call center.
I had this lady just going off about how her bill wasn't correct and she kept yelling despite my repeated attempts to calm her down. I followed the script on how to handle a difficult customer. Then she goes why should I stop yelling...and for whatever reason I blurted "Yelling at me won't help me hear you or understand you better."
Well, it was a test call for the center to see how we we're doing. It got played in front of all my co-workers and boss. Co-workers loved it, boss wasn't very happy. Lol
cmad182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little late but here goes:
I worked at petrol stations when I was younger, had a pretty bad night dealing with shoplifters and what not.
About 10:30pm, not long after kicking some kids out for stealing chocolate bars, this old guy comes in. Really cranky look on his face.
I greet him as I always do, politely. No response.
A lady and her daughter come in not long after him, I greet them the same way and get a reply along the same lines.
Old guy comes up to the counter with a tub of ice cream. โJust that?โ I ask. Nothing.
As I finish his transaction, the lady and daughter are waiting in line behind him.
With a huge serving of sarcasm, I announce to the old dude โyou have a great night mateโ and he just glared at me and walks off.
โSome peopleโ I say to the lady before serving her.
โThatโs my dad, heโs just had a stroke and canโt talkโ is her reply.
I wished I was dead.
StanleyQPrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've posted this before but once when i was tending bar I was serving a couple that was very... affectionate with each other. The woman was all over her date to the point where it was uncomfortable for me. She also took initiative on ordering everything. During the course of the evening she mentioned that they were gearing up for Halloween and that their costume was going to be a double- decker with her as a ventriloquist and him as her dummy. For NO REASON AT ALL, I said, "Are you going to shove your fist up his ass and make believe he's speaking for himself?"
alslas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer left merchandise the night before and I waited until the next day torwards the end of my shift to put all of the merchandise away, of course an hour later she calls. I tell her that I put her merchandise away but I remember everything that she left so Iโll just pick everything up and put it at the service desk for her, no biggie right? Wrong. She starts yelling at me asking why I put her stuff away, That I was so rude and a horrible person I then asked her, Well why did you leave your stuff here in the first place. She was not a happy camper.
PhoenixHavoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was young occasionally I would use the joke "I'm sorry, is this person bothering you?" When people were obviously a couple. I made the mistake of doing this joke with an interracial couple once and the guy immediately made it a race thing. Most uncomfortable moment of my life so far and all I could do was laugh in a very loud uncomfortable manner.
SARS11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but an employee said it to me. A friend and I were doing a day trip to go snowboarding in the mountains, stopped at McDonald's so I could get a coffee.
We pull up to the window and the girl says "Did you say 2% or skim milk?" I'm like "Uhh you didn't ask." Her response "Well shit!"
We had a good laugh. And in her defense it WAS 4 in the morning.
SirHypeTheDank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a tire shop. When putting the wheels and tires back on the vehicle you need to do something called "torquing" which is just the last little turn after bolting them on. Each manufacturer has their own specific pounds of torque for their vehicles and this number is show on our paper work.
So now that back story is done. Just today my guys were finishing on a car and asked what the torque was. I went to go look and noticed the paper work was gone, and realized our coordinator took it before we could get the number. So we start messing around and start suggesting stupid numbers to each other I then said "oh go ahead and do that then bud, we'll see when the customers wheels go flying off on the hwy going 90" I then turn around to the now horrified customer who was watching from the parking lot.......
Cobaltbats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a food truck, and this customer came up and asked if the wings were any good. When I'm tired and exhausted at work Im usually at my best with customers because im at the point of not giving a fuck and i stop over thinking, so i come up with some 'edgy-er' jokes. Sometimes my coworker or boss would also add on. So anyway, I tell her "I'm paid to say the food here is good", I'm hoping the customer would laugh it off and appreciate my dry ass humour. She just stares back at me indecisively if she wants them still, and thats when I realise my boss is standing right next to me unamused. I try laugh it off but neither of them were taking the bait.
justsare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady whose husband had died in Colorado was being looked after there by the โMile High Funeral Homeโ until we made arrangements to have him brought home. While on the phone with her, she said something about โisnโt the mile high club where you have sex on a plane?โ And I replied without thinking โIโm really glad weโre bringing his body back, thenโ. Luckily she thought it was hilarious, because Iโd have fired me.
kainprime82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
12 years ago, working in valet at a casino. I was walking back to the drop off area after parking a car when a customer stopped me and started gibbering at me in full on Spanish. I had to try a few times before he stopped talking and actually heard me say that I don't speak Spanish.
He immediately gets visibly angry and says, in absolute perfect English, no accent even, "What do you mean you don't speak Spanish?! You live in southern California and you don't speak Spanish?! What the hell is wrong with you?"
To which I replied almost immediately and with an equal amount of anger "well SIR, last time I checked, California was still in AMERICA"
He started sputtering and stormed off, I figured he'd be complaining to a manager, but I never heard anything about it so... cool? I guess?
ochotyler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No actually words, but I worked in a call center and my mind drifted as a frustrated customer was ranting. Not unusual except that what I was day dreaming of was a blowjob I had received recently.... So while the customer continued to rant I let out a soft moan... The customer stopped talking and I immediately realized my mistake. Had to snap back into customer service mode and appeased the customer with some empathy and bill credits.
fuck_everythin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My substitute teacher like one standing right beside me as my friend says I should be a teacher while I say no there's not really a market for teaching anymore
shanster925 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So up until last January I was working a part time job at a used video game and movie store to supplement the household income a bit. 2 days a week, but I loved my coworkers and I got to be around nerdy stuff all day.
We had a lot of kids come through, obviously, and I would try to be friendly with the kids and parents whenever I could. A kid brought up a Naruto game to buy and I engaged in conversation.
Me: I've never watched Naruto before, is it any good?
I pronounced it "nah-roo-toe."
The child, in true child fashion corrected me.
"it's pronounced 'nara-toe.'"
Well, fuck me right?
Later on in the day, another child was purchasing a Naruto game with his mom. When he approached, I said "how do you pronounce that?" still thinking about how kids know more about it than me.
I looked up when his mom started explaining what the word actually meant and realized... They're Asian.
Oh crap.
After the customers left, my coworkers all died laughing and I curled into a racist ball.
justnodalong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
not me but my coworker. a guy in a wheelchair comes to check in at our motel, for some reason my coworker takes the guy and put him in a luggage cart and said " just hang around i'm going to see something" and leaves him hanging there w/ a wtf look on his face. Idk what my coworker was thinking but the guy seemed to get that he wanted to help him and then my coworker pushed him in the cart to his room like he was a suitcase.
thewildlifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH! This is the funniest thing I have read or heard in a really long time! "Like he was a suitcase" really set me off!
coshjollins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cashier at an electronics store and i was checking out some guy. When I checked his id it said a womans name. I asked him if it was his wife's card because I can't take it if he doesn't have an id. He replied "I didnt choose my name"... it was so awkward the rest of the transaction.
KronicDeath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady(larger) orders 10 ham egg and cheese bagels. "For here or to go?"
moosealligator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I literally had a Michael Scott moment. Woman called in needing to change some stuff due to a last name change. Me, trying to form a teeny customer bond, go โOh congratulations, recent wedding?โ It was the opposite, marriage had just ended.
lkoz590 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in IT taking phone calls at a service desk. One day this younger lady calls in, she's new to the company and had a pretty simple problem. I believe it was a password reset or something similar but I'm a bit hazy on the details. Anyway, I set her up and make sure she can log in. She does, says thank you and I respond with "Your welcome! I hope you never call again!"
MattDamonsTaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once referred to a rental tuxedo being considered by a bride and her groom as a "bad mamajama."
I have no idea why (probably high).
Yossi25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sell used cars at the Toyota dealership.
Customer was in process of signing papers and I buttered out, yeah most of the cars on this lot were originally rentals.
He then left.
Magasma1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Chick-fil-a. One time I customer commented "Wow you're losing a lot of weight." because I had not changed my lifestyle at all I thought it would be funny to go "Eh, worst case scenario I have diabetes." This was not a good response, her jaw dropped and she went completely silent. To try to save face I said "I'm just kidding I don't have diabetes... well probably not I haven't been to the doctors in a few years."
FACE_Ghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I kept telling clients when I first started doing IT that something would take "X" amount of time, or person Y would get to them in "X" amount of time.
Horrible, horrible practice.
karter0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My job is to call prospective high school students and parents for our university and ask them a few questions about what theyโre interested in so we can send them information. One time I was talking to this parent who was apparently pissed off at his son and when I asked him what kind of things his son was interested in he said โhe doesnโt do anything but sit around and get drunk with his buddiesโ (not sure why heโd say that to a college but thatโs beside the fact). For some reason I was not the slightest bit phased by this and I immediately replied with โso you think he might be interested in joining a fraternity or something?โ without thinking. His dad laughed. I laughed.
NotThatReal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was working drive through at a wendys and handing out drinks. There were 2 and the guy asked which one was which. One was a fruitopia and one was a cola looking pop, but I couldn't remember which one specifically so I just went "well they're different colours" and walked away
whowantsmalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Served a guy in a wheelchair and he asked for a certain product so I replied: "let's go for a walk to find it"... I still remember the look of disgust of his face.
OleMurkyTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At a drive-in movie theater, customers would regularly ask for the "child's price ticket" for their adult spouse/SO. This was usually a joke, but sometimes they would get insistent, so I started shutting that down with a, "Sorry, ticket pricing is based on physical age, not mental age."
Although I never got in trouble for that comment, it did get awkward one time when a lady asked for a child ticket for the passenger. I glanced at the passenger, gauged her to be the adult friend of the woman, so I laughed it off and said the usual bit. We went a few more rounds of her saying she wanted one child and one adult ticket, and me laughing and saying "Two adult tickets is $18." Eventually it became clear the lady was NOT joking - apparently the passenger was her 9 year-old, post-pubescent daughter, who proceeded to rattle off her birthdate to me as I tried not to look too stunned.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a waiter. If people brought their dogs they could order them a grilled chicken breast and rice.
I forgot to put in a ladies dogs order, and she asked whatโs taking so long. I immediately said they dropped the chicken breast and theyโre making a new one. She looked at me and said, โitโs for a dog itโs going right back on the floorโ
armored-dinnerjacket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the hotel i used to work at we used to show first time guests up to their rooms.
I some how ended up showing this repeat guest up to her room and introducing the room to her (again). After i'd finished i saw her rooting around in her wallet. I saw her rooting around for a while so i helpfully piped up
'Oh theres a $20 behind there"
instant regret when she dutifully handed over the aforementioned bill.
fairly sure that lead to a review on tripadvisor that the hotel staff wouldn't leave the room without a tip.
fml
loveadumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
mine isnโt that bad but iโm a waiter and this grumpy old couple was at my throat the whole meal. i was working at a corporate chain that had a rewards program. to apply the visit, you need the phone number on the account. this old couple handed me a ragged looking coaster with their phone number on it. i went and put in the number and threw out the coaster. when i went back they asked for the coaster. i was confused and apologized that i had thrown out the coaster. they went ape shit on me. they acted like i threw out their credit card or some shit. after listening to it and apologizing profusely i finally just said โiโm sorry that you wanted a nasty ass coaster back.โ i walked away. they told my manager. i got sent home. whatever.
McSmashley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
To a coworker โsheโs kind of a bitchโ when I thought the customer had left the building. She hadnโt. She came back to the counter and demanded to know what I said. I told her I just really didnโt like my mom (which is very accurate) since my mom spent the last three months poisoning me.
rittzbitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working retail at a liquor store. Regular customer brings his stuff up.
Him : "man, I'm in here every day buying beer, why do you think that is?"
Me : ".... because you're an alcoholic?"
He was not happy.
awildketchupappeared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer asked about our salad options, because she was trying to lose weight for the summer. I was in that fully automatic zombie mode and my small talk didn't quite come out right... I said to her "Yeah, it's good for you to try!"
adriarchetypa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember exactly what I said, but I accidentally drew attention to how overweight a customer was and they were IMMEDIATELY and obviously very wounded. They didn't say anything, but I felt so awful.
I wasn't trying to be rude or offensive, but I'm inept and have foot-in-mouth disease like crazy.
the_north_place ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a volunteer that applied for a position to be on my team. At the time, I was all for it, but after I heard how his phone interview went, I realized why he wouldn't work out there. After a hire was made, but before it was announced, I accidentally let slip "Hey did you hear..." very excitedly before I caught myself.... "Umm nevermind I can't remember."
It was awkward for a minute.
professional_novice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to wait tables our restaurant had a bottomless soup and salad deal.
A couple of regulars came in, I forgot what the guy had but the lady had the soup and salad. She ate 2 salads and 2 bowls of soup, then asked for another soup, but a new flavor. I asked if she wanted a bowl or a cup of soup. She said "What?" I repeated my question. Nope she understood the question, but asked me "why?" I said "because you've already eaten so much" and "I just didn't eat to waste the soup if you didn't want too much more"
They asked for the manager. I asked if I could help them. They said no, just the manager. I proceeded to tell him "hey, my table wants a manager"
"Do you know why? Are they upset?"
"No idea. I don't think so"
Turns out I offended them/her, I had no idea until my manager explained it to me. They never returned.
paultheschmoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Movie theater employee here, I have a small inventory of canned phrases I use that typically get a laugh out of guests, sometimes they don't go over so well.
For example, our large drink, after tax, comes out to $6.66. This can be a bit of an ordeal for some guests, and I don't really have the patience (especially when there's a huge fucking line of people behind them) to deal with the fidgeting that people do in response to learning their total when all they get is a drink.
So, the go-to is always
"Your total is $6.66"
Typically, the response is "oh man, that's not a good number"
to which I typically respond "don't worry, no reported curses or anything, I'm sure you'll be alright"
this usually gets a chuckle and we can both move on with our lives.
Some people will get a bit frantic and say "oh man, I gotta grab something else!!! What's the cheapest thing you have?"
"bottle of water, $3.99".
This usually ends the transaction.
One older woman though looked highly concerned after getting her satanic total, so I used my typical "no curses reported" line, and she got fairly offended and said "no need to be rude"
As if I was in the wrong because she was convinced she was engaging in some sort of heresy by buying a fucking large drink
I need a new job, man.
TheOneWhoBarksAtTree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A mother was very concerned for her kids nut allergy (understandably so but would remind me a 100 times). She ordered him the spinach. There were white specs in it. She screamed at me asking what that was and I panicked and said pine nuts.
It was garlic. They left.
johnboy2978 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was recently hosting a conference with state wide colleagues. I work in mental health which is largely female dominated at present. We've had bad weather and flu has been rampant regionally. As such, I had a lot of people either cancel for the conference or do a call in to the meeting due to sick kids and such. The closer we got, probably half the women opted to call in due to having sick kids.
We were going along pretty well, and after a break a couple of hours into the meeting, we did a role call to make sure everyone was back. I had a couple new moms report they were going to have to cut out early so they could do this or that because of their kids. Off the cuff, I just said .... "Ah, you women and your babies". Didn't mean it derogatory at all but I might as well have just confessed to being a pedophile in front of all of them. Didn't find it funny at all. Spent the rest of the conference wondering which would make a complaint and try and have me fired.
ladykiller1020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work as a groomer at Petco. I was dealing with an angry guy on the phone who wanted to get his dog groomed asap. He claimed he was trying to call all week and "no one answered", to which i replied "I find that really hard to believe."
He yelled incoherently for a few seconds and then hung up.
wilfulmarlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a drunk guy come up arguing the price of his bill and he went through and said "two and fifteen and fourteen is thirty-one not thirty five!" So i replied with "wel you see after the first numbers there's .99 so that's actually three sixteen and fifteen which does add up to thirty four"
I didn't really think it was that bad but my Manager wasn't too thrilled
SimonCallahan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have an almost and a definite yes.
The definite yes one happened when some guy came in and complained about the price of our chocolate bars. He was making a huge scene in front of loads of people about how our chocolate bars were $1.50 (fucking cheapskate). I told him, "You don't have to buy it here, you could always go somewhere else". I knew I shouldn't have said it the moment it left my mouth, but I also knew that if I didn't say it all the way through I would sound dumb. His reaction was to glare at me as if I had shit my pants in front of him. He then told me, "Thanks for giving me the fucking option, but if I wanted to go somewhere else I would have" and put down his two bucks for the chocolate bar. My face was red.
The "almost" one happened after I carded a guy for smokes. He straight up started threatening me, saying things like, "You must be so proud of your job" and "You're going to be so embarrassed when you see my ID". He even got right close to me at one point as he was talking to me, as if he was going to intimidate me, talking about how rich and successful he was compared to me and how I was going to end up lonely and sad for the rest of my life because I had the gall to work such a menial job. That's when I started to say, "If I wasn't behind this counter I'd flatten you right now", but I only got to "If I wasn't behind this counter..." before catching myself threatening him back. He responded with, "What? You'd let me buy smokes?". I still made him go get his ID. I should have just told him to leave. I still get mad about it.
On a funnier note, this one wasn't me but a podcast. I've been getting into the habit of listening to How Did This Get Made? at work, but I only put it on late at night (usually around 9:30 or so) when customers aren't coming in as often. I was listening to the Jason X episode (people who have heard this one might know where this is going). I doing my last bit to clean up the store when a customer comes in. I'm away from my phone so I can't turn down the volume, and that's the exact time Jason Mantzoukas made his joke about Jason Voorhees being able to smell jizz. I practically ran behind the counter to turn down the volume and apologized profusely to the customer. Luckily he was actually really cool about it and wanted to know what podcast I was listening to, so bullet dodged (I think).
GinoMan2440 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think I shouldn't have said it, I'm actually kinda proud it happened but, back when World of War-crack.... err Warcraft was big and the first expansion, Wrath of the Lich King was about to release, we would get customer calls asking about the game. It was the day before release and I had just overheard the general manager and the sales manager of the store talking about doing a midnight release. They decided since we had only just opened less than a year ago, we didn't have the foot traffic to justify a midnight release, so we wouldn't be having one. Not five minutes later I get a call (it's like 8:30 and we close at 9) asking if we had the game and I said that we would and it would be purchasable on release day. She then asks if we're having a midnight release for the game. I said "I'm sorry ma'am, my managers were just discussing that and we won't be having a midnight release tonight".
Now when she said the next thing, I was kinda stunned and I don't know how I was able to retort so fast but she literally asked "Do you know if any competitors are going to be having a midnight release?" "You WANT to wake up in the middle of the night to get your game you won't play until morning?"
Yeah... I said that. But the reaction to it is probably the funniest thing I've ever heard, it was high pitched, witchlike, I think she got possessed for a moment "JUST FORGET IT!" click. I swear, she sounded like a Velociraptor.... I couldn't make this up. Having just been hung up on, I then clicked off the phone and went about my night. Never got in trouble for it.
Codename_Zer0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I meant to say something was a "pain in the butt" and instead said "pain in the balls". The customer was a woman. Her gaze bore a hole into me until I'd paid for my crime. To this day I have no idea what made me say that.
masibro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of similar but yeah...
Calling some company: "Hello this is xyz, Dave speaking"
Masibro: "Oh hey man, I'm masibro and I'm calling from ABC, how're you doing?"
Dave: "Better than you masibro....how may I help you?"
Had to pause for a second before continuing!
Yakstein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An employee of mine was disciplined when he picked up a customer and scared her. She asked if he was there to drive her back to the branch...he responded with "yes...or to be my next victim."
mjforever33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a server at a pizza restaurant, and this one table was really getting on my nerves. She would mumble very quietly, not respond to questions, whatever. I get their order out, and she starts claiming that the pizza isnโt cut. I can physically see the lines where it is cut (and watched them cut it in the kitchen), so I told her that it was indeed cut. She proceeded to yell some more, saying the customer is always right. So I just grabbed a slice and lifted it. It fell right out of place, because it was CUT! Now, Iโve never EVER touched a customers food before but she just had me over the edge.
little_canuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am a nurse (was in ER nursing at the time). Do you know what priapism is? If you do, you will know why it is not a great idea to lead off a conversation with "Hi, so what's up?" (Equally bad "so I hear you have had a hard day").
Avalon36455 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a Registrarโs taking papers from students. One day we had a big line and this guy in the middle grabs his buddy by the arm and shoved past everyone. He sort of tossed his friend toward the counter and said โWe have been waiting in line for like, ten minutes. This is ridiculous, we have to be helped.โ
And I replied with โYeah itโs hard to learn patience. How can I help?โ
AllAboardTheTerrapin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a popular pizza place in a town that had a decently large population of homeless people.
A guy with a bike came in one day and asked if I could give him change. He wasn't dressed very nicely, and I automatically assumed he was asking for money. I told him I'm sorry, I can't give him any change.
He clarified that he needed coins instead of bills and I said I could give him change. As I was doing it, he was staring at me and asked why I had said no. I felt terrible, but I didn't want to tell him I thought he was a homeless person begging for money.
Elise_xy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at best buy, happened to be up front as cashier. Had a pretty long line, and I see some kind of douchy looking older man fumbling around the area where you would come out of the checkout, not into the line. He comes over to me and very rudely interrupts me checking out someone else to ask where he goes to checkout (hint: it's very easy to figure out what's going on at best buy, especially when there is a line of customers to guide you) So I pointed to him where the line started. He rudely stomped around into it. A few minutes later and it's his turn to be checked out, and of course I get him. He walks up and rudely says to me, "you know, you guys should really have a sign for where the checkout is" So I very sarcastically say back: "well everyone else figured it out just fine."
He then started to throw some fit about what he was paying for when I promoted him to swipe his card, when I told him it was on the screen and that he could look at it he kept saying like, "oh I don't know what you're scanning over there!" And I just kept saying dude I scanned the items you gave me, you JUST saw me do this.
Bawbnweeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told my supervisor โThank god youโre here. Now you can deal with herโ in front of a lousy excuse of a customer whoโd just spent 15 minutes berating me for not accepting her return of an item we didnโt even sell.
I was 19 and my self esteem was shit. Screw that lady. Iโd do it again just to see that lovely shade of purple her face became.
iluvrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I have one for this, I worked in Electronics at Wal-Mart many years ago while in college. I'm a pretty sarcastic person and enjoy making a funny comment. I generally can get a good read if I enage like that with a customer but guessed wrong on this interaction.
So, Way back in the day Wal-Mart used have these little machines that let you sample select tracks on certain CDs. Now obviously they didn't have every CD loaded.
One day a lady comes up to me and says she can't sample a certain CD and holds it out to me. It was Mercy Me ( I believe a Christian music group) and I told her if it doesn't show up when she scanned the UPC, then it's not available. She proceeds to ask then "How will I know if I like it?" I looked at her and without hesitation said "Ma'am, you'll just have to have faith." I thought it was hilarious but she just gave me a really dirty look and walked off. Still proud of it.
Drewby5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a supermarket at the time. Customer paid with food stamps and he made a comment like "never ends". Jokingly I said "haha yeah like a black card" (in reference to Amex Black card)...customer was black. We both laughed.
CactusWorthHugging ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TL;DR I told two older women about my penis.
I have so many. I work in a restaurant and just kinda spew out words without thinking a lot of the time. One of my most memorable moments is from when I was clearing off the table for the two older women I was waiting on. They had a lot of plates so I started stacking everything to carry it off and one of them makes a comment โOh how can you carry all of that? There are so many dishes.โ This is where a normal person would say โOh Iโve been doing this for a while nowโ, or something to that extent. What I said, thinking I was funny, was โI have a third arm I keep hidden.โ They blushed. I blushed. We acknowledged the awkwardness, and I walked away without saying anything else. As I was walking away I could only feel stupid and think about how to rectify the situation. Not only did I just make a joke about my penis to two older women, I lied about itโs size. As I reluctantly brought them the bill, it turns out they thought it was hilarious and made a comment along the lines of โMake sure that third arm gets some good use.โ So thereโs a glimpse into my life.
TLDR2D2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bartender. Austin, TX. Known well for the wild (obnoxious) 6th street scene where everyone is drunk, homeless run rampant, and if you're looking for paid sex...well, look no further.
Customer came into my cocktail bar and ordered a beer and a shot (wanna say a Miller Lite and a well vodka) and proceeded to sit at the well and critique every. Fucking. Drink. I. Made. For like 30 minutes. And it was obvious they had no more than a passing knowledge of cocktails.
Finally, exasperated, they criticized again and I snapped.
"I don't come down to 6th street and slap the cock out of your mouth, do I? Stop telling me how to do my job."
Queue the crickets.
Scruffaduff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work New Brunswick tourism because itโs the only job anyone can get in NB.
I worked the admissions. I had a couple come up to my window and were supposed to ask where people are from for stats and advertising.
So I ask where theyโre from and the husband goes on to tell me about how his wife, beside him, has just gotten back from Korea. So I asked which one?
โSouth of courseโ he said
This was during the Gangam Style phase.
I said โ Oh youโre right, turns to wife you seem happy enough.โ
โBeg your pardon?โ She asked
โWell in the south, the scream at butts, (referencing the Gangam Style video) and in the North, they scream at kids.โ
I regretted it as soon as I said it.
Thankfully, they thought it was hilarious.
WatchingForASound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I have so many. I worked on the turnpike in fast food for 6 years. One time this colossal jagoff was giving me grief because we werenโt allowed to accept coupons (the fine print at the bottoms explains this, too). I said, โBurger King doesnโt accept coupons eitherโ - to highlight that itโs a turnpike thing and not me being a prick. She said โWELL IโM NOT AT BURGER KING, AM I?โ
Then I explained we are allowed to deny coupons because we are a franchise. She said โWell the one in Century 3 Mall is a franchise and they take coupons all the time.โ So I said: Well we arenโt at Century 3 Mall, are we?
She reported me but nothing happened :)
HearthSaer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at McDonalds for a combined 4 years, from 19 - 20 & 24 - 26, some of it as a manager. The sheer number of common sense questions you have to field through while trying to be polite is astounding.
I had a woman tell her kids, in front of me as I paid her out, "Remember if you stay in school you won't work in places like this", & without a moment of hesitation replied "I'm putting myself through college by working here", & her shock that I was listening instantly shut her up.
Most customers would complain about the $1 sundaes (which have since gone up, yay inflation) being 'underfilled', & at one point looked at a woman & said "Ma'am... it's a dollar." My manager pulled me aside to talk to me about that one.
available_splinter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I shouldn't have told a customer that she couldn't get cash out as I didn't have enough cash. I informed her that the self serve machines ten steps away had cash, or the ATM at the front of the store, fifteen feet away had cash. Apparently I am rude, disrespectful and should always have cash on the off chance someone needs some.
Sepideh1983 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked call centre at a bank. This guy calls in frustrated why he still doesn't have his statement. Two agents before me both have made a mistake and he was right to be angry but there was nothing I could do anymore. He tells me I can F*** myself and how I work a min wage job while he runs a multi million $ business and I don't understand anything. I was honestly still trying to do something for him and while he was going on, I found a solution. While he was apologizing for telling me all those words, I just said: "It was really pleasant to talk to a gentleman as yourself. Please do call us back. It's always my pleasure to take calls like this". It made him feel so bad that I'm still enjoying it.
1320Fastback ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Jack in the Box employee in high school and asked a smoking hot woman if she wanted extra Jack Sauce.
not_as_i_do ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked setting up conference rooms with laptops and such for a country club. Had a local bank bring in their board members for a retreat. I had asked one guy to bring in his laptop early so I could install the software and such he needed to present. He dropped off the laptop then told me he was going to go hit a bucket of balls at the driving range before the meeting. When he came back and greeted me, I responded with, โhey, how were your balls?โ I pretended it was perfectly normal and he gave me a weird look and pretended I didnโt ask the question.
Tylerb0713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a supervisor was called over by the cashier to fix something.., was dealing with a customer who's 40% off was only taking off about 20 percent. Mr mathematician pointed out that he was college educated and knew that that was not 40%.. he asks if there's anyway I could take off the other 20% because the cashier obviously fucked up. (She didn't, half of his items were sale items which, as the coupon said, would not be affected by the coupon)
So I tell him sure, let me just double the price and I'll take 40% off for you. He then anxiously waited for me to work my manager magic. I then had to politely explain that I was being an ass and there was nothing further I could do to lower the total.
He told me how unprofessional I was and stormed out.
TexMexican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a high-tech database company, but for some reason we couldn't get reliable internet during online demos. I was on a conference call with about eight (8) subscribers when our internet froze up, and instead of hitting the mute button on my phone, I hit the pause button on my screen as I yelled "F*#K!!! at the top of my lungs. Everyone was really quiet as I tried to play it off except one woman that said, "I hate when that happens", but nobody else said a thing.
jereezy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer "no offense, but nothing is life is free."
He said "Well I am offended."
I responded "Well it still ain't free."
Kalfu73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a McDonald's back in the late 80s. Worked drive thru a lot and, while I don't know what they use now, but the headsets had two buttons. One was to talk to the customer and one was to talk just to other employees with a headset. We would often mess around on the employee channel including mocking customers but be professional on the other channel. Invariably someone would press the wrong button, and customers would hear the full brunt of our idiocy.
Sarzorak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a waiter in a restaurant, there was a set of identical twin girls working there as well.
A middle age man calls me over and ask with a smile, "which one of the twins are you dating?" To which i instantly replied, "both of them mate."
Kinda proud of that one actually.
Username37J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late to the party, but I was serving someone with dwarfism, and he was asking about the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child books we had on display.
He wanted to know if they were first edition because he was a bit of a nerd.
I say "well, you're not the biggest nerd in the store" followed by me turning away and grimacing. Though he either ignored it or didn't even hear it. I was still very conscious of what I said from then on. Pretty cool dude
bam2_89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a front end manager at a grocery store. We had really good deals on 4-5 items in our circular on weekends. They were loss-leaders so we had a $10 minimum to use the coupon and get that price.
A cashier had just told a customer about the minimum purchase and she went to me saying "she didn't need some kid telling her she needed to buy $10." I just explained the reason for the policy and she said "I don't always make $10! I live by myself!"
To this I replied "Well I wonder why that could be."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: "this doesn't taste right. Are you sure there's hazelnut in it? It tastes like mocha or something..." Me: "I am 100 percent sure there's hazelnut in it. I made it."
I'm a barista at Starbucks, and anytime a customer isn't satisfied with their drink, we should offer to remake it so it is to their liking.
wingingitweekly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Clients are supposed to act as the frontline. We only deal with a select few contacts from a company and require them on the call for any interaction with their group. Client insists over email (outside of ticket system) that I contact one of his companies employees to resolve a problem without him on the call. I responded (via email) by telling him that I'm not his personal outbound helpdesk. Kind of regretted it at the time, and still do, because I could have phrased it better. But come on buddy, do your own job or adhere to the support contract terms.
hotdog1872 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work as a Front Desk Clerk at a hotel. We had a lot of regulars. One day a man who came about once a month entered the lobby with his bags and I asked him โDo you need a hand sir?โ
Unfortunately this particular guest only had one complete arm. The other was missing a hand...
zasz211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasp helping an Asian woman who seemed to have troubled with English. She wanted to glue a plexiglass pane into a frame and I had told her that using screws would be much better. After about ten minutes of convincing her to use screws I said โ nothing beats a good screwโ, luckily I donโt think she took it the wrong way.
farwa345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When she asked me how i manage a job with school, "oh i fail all my classes". She checked the receipt after..
itspaisleynotpaige ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a family the comes in to my store to buy pop vinyls and sell them for a profit. It was a crazy Saturday, I had 30+ customers in my store and I was alone. That family hovered over me during all of my interactions with my customers and eventually I told them, "look, I have 30 people in my store, I can't go into the back room and leave my store unattended to maybe find a pop vinyl" Certainly not as clever as some of the responses here, but they did end up calling corporate.
interactivecdrom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
it was st patrickโs day. i worked in an italian restaurant. i was chatting with a couple about the upcoming holiday and i mentioned my sisterโs boyfriend, who owned an irish pub. i told them how they had 800 pounds of corned beef in the basement in preparation for the festivities. my dumbass goes, โthatโs like 5 people worth of corned beef!โ and woman looks down at her plate, back at me, and says โcan I get this to go, and the check?โ woops
borderbox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Very loudly said to my work wife, โFuck that bitch!โ followed by rapid fire expletives after a particularly heinous customer walked out, leaving me and her alone on the sales floor. Turns out, we were not alone on the sales floor of our somewhat Christian company. There was an older woman checking accessories very quietly and hidden. I had no idea and immediately started planning unemployment when my coworker pointed her out. But, I knew I was in the clear when the customer responded by saying, โYeah. Fuck her.โ
Joey12725 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once a waiter said "enjoy your meal"
I replied "you too'
FroggiJoy87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working front desk at a gym, was a lady was leaving from a class a wildfire had broken out recently, and I said "enjoy the smoke!" Like an idiot.
wingingitweekly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was falling asleep after lunch listening to a gal drone on about an issue. Like on and on and on. In a support role you usually already know the problem, but some callers just go on and on. Anyways. I zoned the fuck out in a Dream state, and she asked me a question. So i told her to paint me a picture. She said something a long the lines of "WTF" and I snapped out of Dream state and told her what needed to be done.
Wrath_Of_Aguirre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's more funny than embarrassing/regretful. I used to work for a now-failing grocery chain. They laid off thousands of department managers, and I was one of them. I was given 3 weeks, which I had to finish in order to receive my severance.
So I was working some freight to the shelves, when a customer asks me if we carry a certain item that we no longer had.
"I'm afraid we discontinued those about 2-3 months ago."
"Well guess I'll have to shop at Publix from now on!!"
"That wouldn't be a bad idea..."
The look on his face was amazing. He had no idea the circumstances, and nothing more was said.
Counselor_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my first jobs was working the cash register at Walgreens. A woman came up to me to ask me where a product was located. I didn't know where the product was located and I was helping another customer and didn't want to call for help, so I just made up an answer, "Isle 8." She then said, "Where is isle 8?" My reply: "Next to isle 9."
lameteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was checking out at publix and a family composed of obese parents and an obese child were paying for their purchase in front of me: 4 foot long subs. The cashier says "How come I see 4 sandwiches and only three people?" In a lighthearted way just to make small talk. The family wasn't too amused lol
datacollect_ct ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was on the other end of this yesterday!
I was at Vons and decided to get a chicken strip for the road.
The lady was like "just take it, seriously consider it a sample."
I was like no I'd just like to pay for it..
She then handed it to me and said "I'll.pay you to eat that."
It was grey and hard as fuck.. I laughed so hard I didn't even care.
NadareQuiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian here. I said 'cheers cunt' to a customer, he gave me a look but preceeded to leave. Shat my pants.
midgetsjakmeoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a Volkswagen dealership as a technician a few years ago. My stall was on the outside wall of the shop so on summer days some customers would walk up and watch. I was doing the first service on a Jetta and a guy was watching with his little girl. I say โHello.โ He explains that when he was a kid his parents would take him to the auto shop so he could learn about the cars and he wants his daughter to do the same. Without hesitation I sarcastically say โWell good thing you bought a VW.โ He did not find that comment as funny as I did. Nothing came if it but I was super embarrassed as soon as it came out of my mouth.
BlueBear42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"typical customer complaining about us not having what they wanted AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME IN HERE AGAIN!"
Flash forward a couple of days. I see the same customer come into my store after their bitchfest. "So you decided to come back!"
It wasn't an "I shouldn't have said that" moment until him complaining about me crawled up the chain to the owner.
superchid3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Today, I saw a customer from behind and said, โIโll be with you in a moment, sir,โ SHE turns around, doesnโt say anything. I was heading to the back to wash my hands anyway, so I kind of hid back there, not knowing how to apologize.
kentuckyfan123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This customer was arguing her discount wasnt adding up right on the computer as a highschool kid who just finished getting an A in algebra I was like no problem pulled out a sheet of paper did the math showed her it worked out double checked it and showed her it made sense. She wasnt having it saying it was wrong. At this point im like I will call a manager. Manager comes over ( i wasnt her favorite person) i tell her the problem show her my math while this lady continues to complain. So when my manager says its right I look the customer dead in the face and say "I'm sorry you cant do simple math" my manager stares at me and goes okay we will give you the more discounted price anyway.
I_COULD_say ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to sell some LED light bulbs to an elderly couple. They were in the fence about the price. I justified the price by saying โthese things have an incredible life span. Youโre gonna die before these burn out.โ
They sorta looked at me with a weird mix of shock and acknowledgement. They ended up buying a few of the lamps/bulbs. There were 30 seconds or so though that I for sure regretted saying that.
dreamlike17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Does listening to a co worker count? One customer calls and is difficult so the guy who answers transfers the call to another employee. That customers husband then calls up and the guy who answered the first call in the .middle of talking to the husband says "my colleague is trying to pacify your wife" I cringed when he said that. I can't imagine any scenario where that is something to say to a client
Buddhagrrl13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am STILL remembered 20+ years later at a restaurant I used to waitress at for this one. A patron came in and was being a really demanding biatch during an extremely busy lunch rush. I was slammed with 6 tables, so I got her drinks and chips and salsa out as quickly as I could. Every time I walked by her table she said something nasty and impatient even though everything had come out in a timely manner. I'm walking through my section refilling drinks and I run out of tea in my pitcher just as I get to her table. That pitcher had the last tea in my part of the restaurant until the new batch finished brewing. She exploded when she saw I had filled a different table's drinks ahead of her and started screaming for me to get her more tea RIGHT NOW!!! I calmly looked down my nose at her and said, "You know, patience is a virtue." Fortunately, she was the bookkeeper for the restaurant and the owner knew that she behaved like this every time she came in to eat and totally had my back. They still rib me about it when I go back in there to eat, though.
m2084 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is this toilet seat strong?"
"If you don't keep jumping on top it will last a long time."
"You are right."
Mocking_jai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a McDonald's in a not so fantastic area in Scotland, as in quite a deprived area full of complete morons. I got into several heated discussions with idiotic customers however I will only talk about 2 incidents.
First- young boy (about 10) and girl (about 13) try to enter the store. They are barred from the premises due to damaging property and disruptive behaviour. I worked in customer care so I was out on the Floor. I walked up to them and the conversation went as follows (except with more Scottish slang);
Me: Right guys you know you aren't allowed in here so turn the other way Boy: Eh no wtf I just want a cheeseburger Me: Well you're going to have to get one from somewhere else I'm afraid Boy: omg this isn't fair gonny just let us in Me: look I'm trying to be nice about this, do you want me to call the police? Boy: HA FUCKING GO FUR IT! WIT ARE THEY GONNY DO ANYWAY YOU FAT SPECKY COW?! Girl is sniggering and egging him on Me: Well they can come over here and escort you from the premises, how does that sound? Boy: OMG DID YOU SEE THAT? SHE JUST TRIED TO TOUCH ME INAPPROPRIATELY! SHES A FUCKING PAEDOPHILE MAN Me: laughing with rage and annoyance Ha is that right you wee arsehole? I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot fucking pole so piss off before I escort you off the premises myself.
My manager was standing behind me and said he would take over from there and I was to go cool down in the staff room...He knew how they could be and he got frustrated with the wee idiots too so nothing more was said about it.
Second: We had a seating area where the cameras didn't cover and it was quite out of sight from the staff. Because of the amount of misbehaving young people/kids we got coming in that would sit there and make a complete mess, vandalised the tables and chairs etc it became a rule that no young people if they were not with an adult could sit down there. One day I happened to notice what I thought were 3 young boys going to sit down there but could only see them from behind. I came running up behind them and said "Sorry boys but you aren't allowed to sit here without an adult being with you", to then have them turn round and see a somewhat tomboyish and small looking woman and her two sons presumably staring back at me. The woman just said "Well I'm an adult so why can't we sit here?" I could only apologise and run away and hide in the staff toilets for like 10 minutes!
artforthebody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Congratulations!! Customer: On what? Me: On your pregnancy, you look great! Customer: ... Me:..? Customer: Iโm not pregnant.
To make it worse, I kept apologizing and wouldnโt let it go fast enough (Holy $&%*! Iโm a fucking idiot!). Iโve known this person for a couple years before then and understood she flaunts herself for being in shape for her age - said herself in an article. Still one of the most remarkable verbal mistakes Iโve ever said and I totally KNEW better than to EVER say such thing without the person saying it first, but my excitement to see her or shear feeling of overwhelm overrode my mental operating system. FML.
After she left (fortunately she still bought from me then and still does), I tried to understand why I would say such a thing and all I could think she was wearing a terrible dress with horizontal color stripes or maybe she had food babies. Either way, I fucked up.
pippercorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my sister. She worked as a cashier at a grocery store and had to ID everyone who bought alcohol regardless of how old they looked. One day this 50ish year old guy comes in to buy beer. While she's looking at his ID he asked "Well did I pass?" she replied "Yea, with flying colors."
Tijuana_Pikachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a grocery store. Our egg cartons come in a box of 18 or so (one dozen x 18). The boxes have several holes in them, they're placed weirdly enough to not really be for grip.
A lady came up and asked me what they were for. For some reason I decided to tell her "it's so if any chicks hatch out of the eggs, they have air holes".
"So do you frequently get hatchlings? Are there some running around in the back?"
I really should have ended it there, but instead I doubled down and told her "yeah there's a few in the back, but usually the rats get to them first"
MVRTYMCHiGH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Being a server Iโve had tons of moments where I shouldnโt have laughed. On one menu we had a salad dressing that read โalmost no fat Vinaigretteโ. A lady asked for the โalmost FAT vinaigretteโ. I thought she was joking so I asked if she meant the NO FAT vinaigrette. She scoffed at me and asked for mayonnaise.
xxinsanelyjessxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving at olive garden and had a very bad day, angry customers, bad tippers and what not. Well we were 5 minutes from closing when this guy walks in and gets sat in my section. As soon as I walk up he says "just so you know I don't believe in tipping so don't expect one" well at this point that was the final straw so I responded with "then I don't believe in giving you good service so don't expect it" I immeadiatly realized what I had done part of me didn't care because I wasn't gonna get tipped anyway but the other part of me was worried about losing my job. I didn't and my manager didn't even write me up she was super chill about it and just told me not to do it again.
zeloway1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Use to work at a grocery store, one day a customer asked me where the Perrier water was and I replied "ewww Why?" Needless to say this was a thing I should not have said.
mimicry21316 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a UPS Store and this woman comes in with a package and needs to pay to send this thing a couple of towns over. I ask her for a generalization of what's inside and ask her to confirm that there's nothing we're not allowed to ship (alcohol, drugs, tobacco, aerosols, etc.) and she says there's perfume in the package. I told her we can't send perfume because it's an aerosol and usually has some alcohol in it. She asks me if I could just pretend I don't know and I tell her no I can't just pretend I don't know. So she asks me what she's supposed to do with the package and I told her she could take out the perfume and send the rest. She says that the main point is the perfume, what is she supposed to do? I tell her to drive it herself. My boss was standing next to me and luckily she just laughed it off afterwards but she still teases me about that to this day.
SyrupTheWitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i work at a hardware store. it was around 8am and I was the only cashier. the sales associates were somewhere in the back. customer comes in asking if we have a salt spreader, and I, without looking up from my phone, in the most apathetic teenage girl voice ever, say โI donโt know, probably. you should like, ask someone.โ
SmarmySquire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in an auto insurance call center, and a man called in mad about a past rate increase. I was going through asking all the standard questions to try to help him out while he was being a condescending asshole who wouldn't answer my questions and made me repeat his answers back when he finally did answer. His policy was documented that he had already called in 4 or 5 times prior to our conversation and was rightfully hung up on after throwing out racial slurs to my coworkers. So I ask him about his annual mileage on a vehicle, and he asked something along the lines of, "Well, what do you think it is?" I replied, "Sir, I have no idea how many miles you drive in a year. You're making it very difficult to help you when you won't answer my questions and we're going round and round." He didn't like that too much, but my supervisor backed me up 100%.
SVTHORD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was selling retail at a big event and we were super busy. I was being pulled in 5 different directions by multiple customers and one of them was very rude about wanting helped first despite how busy we were. I looked him in the eyes and said something like 'calm down captain, I'll get to you as soon as I can.' I finished with someone, turned back to help the guy and noticed he had a hook for a hand...I called a guy with a hook 'captain.'
Zamzamzz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customers always say 'sorry to be a pain' or something like that and every single time I find myself saying 'its ok' or something like that, basically agreeing that they are a pain but I'll tolerate them, which is not usually the message I mean to convey
chewy_pnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a nice lady sitting at my desk and I asked her do you smell that? Its like that disgusting smell from a greenhouse. Her response was oh thatโs me, I work in a greenhouse. Oops.
appolo11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I said "Yes" to doing the Insanity program in potential client's living room in an attempt to get their business.
They had carpet floor and the couple was 60. I was like 29. I sweated EVERYWHERE, like, they needed to have their carpet cleaned.
Got the client though.
magpye24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much what I say as how I say it. I need to shove my hands in my pockets to stop myself from doing finger guns. (Iโm a waitress) Oh and one time a guy was like โMiss, this is seltzer not Spriteโ and without thinking I straight up took it out of his hand, took a sip, and was like โyouโre right! The syrup must be out!โ
JHow6510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
With about 20 minutes left in my shift I had a member come through my line with the last name "Crow". Without looking at him or thinking I asked if he was related to Jim. He was not very happy.
vectordac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said, "Welcome to Burger King, how may I help you," in a generic as hell Arab accent at, well, Burger King. Never worked drive through again. Not that I'm complaining about it. It slipped out that way and I still think it was hilarious.
Tryongirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in customer service at a bank and would have people demand refunds for either legitimate service fees or transactions that they had clearly made. I would refund as much as I was allowed but when they started demanding me to do something or start off by saying โthis is whatโs going to happen.....โ I would not be nearly as accommodating. They would inevitably threaten me with closing their account (as if I cared where they held their accounts) so my response was always โwould you like cash or check?โ One time I had a douche, literally a millionaire, pissed about a fee that another bank had charged him and insisted that I refund it. We went round and round with me trying to explain that there was no way I could refund their fee. So when he said โfine, just close ALL my accounts thenโ and I asked the question he got so angry and told my manager that IโM the one who was just going to up and close his accounts, he was a bigwig so naturally the bank didnโt want to lose him. I acted confused since he had clearly said to close ALL of his accounts and made him admit in front of my manager that he was just trying to manipulate me. That was nice :D
ElkOfWinter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I was around 16, a customer was dropping a string of racist and abusive remarks towards me when I told him, very loudly and in front of other customers that we weren't in Nazi Germany and he had no right to speak to us like that. Guess who got called into the office when our dear customer filed a complaint?
cautiondrypaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once told a woman that she had a "fuzzy" on her face, which looked like a white piece of down or something. Her response was "Yeah, I know."
Turns out it was a hairy mole. Didn't even have a second to apologize before she walked away.
Tilarious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in as a retail pharmacy technician. I loved the way Albuterol syrup smelled. I smelled it once in front of a customer who, angrily asked why I did it. I told the truth - it was the wrong choice.
Hoolaywood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer yells and cusses, waving fingers and hands at my coworker. My coworker finally gets fed up and says "Sir, I'm sorry but I don't get paid enough to sit here and listen to you. Please stop."
Another coworker, different one, was working with me at our carryout counter. We were hosting a big group of 50 girl soccer players, ages 12 to 14, and their parents and coaches. Lots of pizzas and lots of drinks. We gave the group a stack of cups and lids and told them to come up in small groups to get drinks from my coworker, who was standing at drink machine waiting to make drinks. First group of girls come running up to the counter and before they get there my coworker yells "Ok everyone, take off your tops and hold on to them!!" (Tops meaning lids). I BURST out laughing!!! He immediately turned to me with a look of regret and terror. All the little girls, again aged 12 to 14, laughed too.
AssTasticBooty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a chain drugstore. A lady brings a box a surgical masks. Keep in mind that it was flu season. I'm just trying to make some light chit-chat, so I say, "Oh no, who got sick?" Expecting her to day something like "My child/husband/whoever has the sniffles! I better protect myself!"
But no. She says, "My mother has stage 4 cancer, and chemotherapy has destroyed her immune system. We can't be giving her any diseases."
...oh
livinglitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Old job working retail C - I was here last week, you gave me a tour. M - yeah, I remember your face. I forgot the customer had a noticeable burn/scar on her face.
Current job working IT. M - if you don't have a DVD drive in your computer you can always bring it to a friend or family member. C - No I can't, their all dead.
Samtoes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at EB Games in college and was fumbling with some calculations on a return, and I said to what I thought was going to be a very receptive guy "Oh man sorry I guess I lost a few brain cells last night." (the topic of partying/drinking had been floating around customers at the moment it wasn't out of the blue) His young kid proceeds to walk up beside him and the dad says "Well THAT'S not something I want to hear around my son again!" It's one of those moments that you relive in the middle of the night.
HereHello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a movie theatre and we have a free membership program that you can sign up for. Itโs super quick to sign up and all thatโs needed is email, name, and phone number. Asked a costumer if heโd like to sign up and he said yes. When I asked for his phone number he asked โitโs not for you, right?โ and I automatically responded with โOH GOD NO EWโ. Most awkward work experience of my life.
Chris_Theo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in sales. I'd started a new job and was meeting with a new client for the first time. I was explaining my work history - I had an obscure role in a well know company. I described myself as the "red headed stepchild" of the organization.
My client was a red head.
I tried the recover by awkwardly saying, "At least you're not a stepchild"
She slowly, nodded and said, "I'm that too"
Fack.
Bennyboy18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I was helping my friend bag some groceries for a customer that came through her line while she was cashiering and they were buying TONS of fruit bowls. Cashier friend says โoooo, all this food. are we having a party?โ the woman responds by saying โno, a funeral.โ
ejoeckel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was behind the bar. Had a TV that wasnโt working properly, so hopped outside the bar to fix it. A table on the floor flags me down to tell me their waitress is inattentive. I had JUST clocked in, so didnโt know the backstory (the table had been rude to the previous bartender and had yelled at the waitress). They return two rocks margaritas, citing theyโre too sweet and the โmachine needs to be recalibratedโ. I inform them that they are hand poured, so .... no.... but Iโd be happy to replace the drinks with something else. They want a rum punch and a vodka punch. Okay..... thatโs even sweeter, but whatever. Oblige.
The man at the table RUSHES the bar and asks where his beer is. โSir, you didnโt ask for a beer. I more than happy to add one to your tab, but I was merely replacing the two drinks you didnโt like.โ
โWHERE IS THE MANAGER. I NEED A MANAGER. SEND HIM OVER HERE.โ
I honestly laughed. I am a woman, and I am the manager. So I did a quick 360 after chuckling, and shook his hand, introduced myself as the manager and asked what ELSE I could do for him.
He didnโt like it. At all. Thrust the free drinks back at me, and said heโd never come back.... that he was informing management that I was a bitch.
โThank you so much, sir. Iโll be sure to let myself know that Iโm a bitch.โ
..... Shouldโve been more profesh.... but fuck it.
UrbanSuburbaKnight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On the phone to a customer, we had his postal address wrong. He was being difficult and I was having a bad day. He said "So we can land a man on the moon, but you still can't post my paperwork to the right address?" - I said "Well, we're not NASA sir"...it didn't go well after that.
clem82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At best buy like 10 years ago our manager was talking to a customer, he had 0 computer background or knowledge yet he was the manager of computers (go figure). Anyways, I came over because he was struggling to talk about networking bridge support and how to make a complex network. I came over and said I can actually help you if you can tell me what your current in home network is.
Guy responds that he wasn't sure that other guy knew what he was saying, I just naturally responded "yeah he has no idea what he's talking about" about a foot away. Guy looked back and laughed, he bought quite a bit but my manager was like "that made me feel bad...." I felt kind of bad but in computers it's better to not BS your way through it.
TheDukeOfSpook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a respiratory therapist in an emergency room and had a student that was mostly through school, hands off mostly letting them do it all. They were getting ready to draw some blood on a patient and we had just been discussing pathophysiology, disease processes that occur in the body, of pulmonary patients.
The patient mentioned of-hand that she had a disease we had JUST been discussing 10 minutes earlier and I exclaimed "oh that's so cool!" Because he's learning all about that. I just apologized and walked away because she didn't want to hear why.
rwhitson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a restaurant that also serves ice cream. We had these plastic containers that didnโt hold gummy candies well, and one of the customers was thinking about getting some gummy bears. I warned them that they werenโt really fresh, then for some unknown reason. I took out a gummy bear. And bounced it off the counter. Iโm pretty sure I nearly got fired.
Slimy_Shart_Socket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an apprentice mechanic
I straight up told him his car was garbage.
"yea....okay"
Better than telling him it was fucking shit.
executeorder666999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I stood behind my boyfriend who was working the front counter register and pretended to grab his ass and make a face at our coworker. The customer standing behind her saw and I laughed it off and said "sorry you had to see that."
1ft2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a bank phone teller, told the customer "we expect that you can do basic math' .
With a different customer said "I'm going to get you fired" my response was " I'm ok with that, would you like me to transfer you to her?"
HereToReadCommentss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a cafeteria on campus in my university, and one time this person ordered some specific drink. And the customer was a transgender. My co-worker who was at the register called out to me that "He wants this". And then almost suddenly said, "No, she wants this." And then looked at the customer flabbergasted.
7echArtist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve never said anything to a customer I donโt feel like I shouldnโt have said, even if it was the wrong way to handle the situation, but I have thought a lot of things that would have gotten me fired had I said them. I have had some pretty mean thoughts go through my head after dealing with asshole customers. I did get permission from my manager one time to tell a lady off which was beautiful. I also walked away from a belligerent customer twice. They didnโt like that.
Freshman50000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a hostess at a restaurant, we had this full restaurant buy-out for a political event. We ran out of coat hangers in the entry way, so we took to piling jackets on chairs. Some lady came up to me and demanded that I find her coat right away, so I started shifting the jackets around. She stormed past me and started tossing them left and right. At one point, she looked at me and said "God, it's so rude when people can't remember where they put IMPORTANT THINGS." Right then, her friend called over and said "Bernice, hey, you brought your jacket to the table."
It was late, and I was tired, and before I could stop myself I muttered "God, its so rude when people can't remember where they put IMPORTANT THINGS." She told my manager, he laughed his ass off and I got free shots after closing.
Bonus: Same party, I was enlisted to go around to all the tables and announce last call. As I got to a table, I said "Just letting you know its last call." The guy at the table said "Oh, well can you get me another drink?" I said "No, sorry, if you want a drink you'll have to go line up at the bar since we don't have our POS system up tonight." (Layout was too fluid to document each person's location, so bar was by order only.) He went "Well, can you get my wife another drink?" I repeated my answer. He looked me up and down, and disdainfully said "Well then, what is your ROLE here?" I said "Jerk wrangling, apparently. Have a nice night."
Man I hated the food industry.
gwhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too many to post here
gswkillinit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While looking down at the register
Me: "Hi sir!"
Customer: *looks at me shocked
Me: *looks up
Me: *realizes it's a woman
Me: *proceeds to pretend everything is normal
Customer: *eyes darting, hands fidgeting
...*awkwardness intensifies until finishing transaction
Ayoungperson2626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was waitressing at a popular restaurant in town. An old man came up to pay his bill and said to me " wow you are so pretty, you must be beating the boys off with sticks " my reply ? "Just my boyfriend.... always beating him off.." Awkward silence to follow once I realized what I had said...
swmnumberone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a receptionist I tend to do this way to many times by accident. Feel like crap after for days. - Guy came in on a wheelchair sign in told me what he was here for โok cool have a seat they will call you in, in a fewโ turn bright red I guess he was used to it didnโt say a word just rolled away
Rex_Goodman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was a teenager working at a taco bell a couple walked up and asked for 2 tacos and I said "do you want your tacos hard or soft" with the most obvious and immature grin on my face, they slowly looked at eachother, I couldn't tell if they got it or thought I was mentally challenged (or both). Can't say I regret it but I just thought it was hilarious
goblu33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโve been working retail for over 20 years so I occasionally like to mess with customers for fun if theyโre being jackasses. I had a customer that was trying to use our payment processing terminal and itโs a touch screen. This customer was the type that likes to tap SUPER hard on the touch screen w/ the stylus. Of courses it will not work when used in this manner. I proceed to inform the customer that this machine is suffering a glitch at the moment and the only way it will work is if you use your pinky fingers to press the buttons and sign. The sight of this customer using the machine like that was more then my coworkers could handle. They had to step out until she was done.
danieljay691 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just a couple days ago I was at a tenants house changing blinds. The tenant is a black man and I'm a white man. Anyway, we got to talking about Mexican food. He was saying he really likes *local joint that is right down the street from his house. I verified the name and said that the location that's on so and so road is way better. I saw him thinking about where it was I was talking about so I blurted out "right next door to the kfc" I clenched my asshole when those words came out of my mouth. Not the worst and I wasn't meaning it to be racisit. It was just the only landmark(?) That I could think of
TesserTheLost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in food service at a deli. The power had gone out for most of my small town and customers were coming in droves for food. We ran out of fried chicken and I kept informing customers of the time frame for when It would be up. A black couple came up (I'm white and completely oblivious) and told them if they wanted fried chicken it would be at least 30 minutes. They looked at me like I was the biggest asshole on the planet. I obviously didn't mean it racially, especially since I had an established pattern of having to tell customers every 30 seconds the time frame for fried. But I felt like an asshole after that.
RadiantFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I work at a law office as a courier until I finish my semester at my community college an move on to a four year university. So part of my job, aside from making deliveries, I man the front desk when the receptionist is on break. I had not been having a particularly good day. This man came in wanting to see the lawyer that does divorces. I call up the lawyer and he says he'll be up in about thirty minutes. So the guy talks insessantly for a straight fifteen minutes, half of the whole waiting time, and he starts getting emotional and says to me, "I just don't understand why she left me." I was so tired and agitated I didn't even notice that I said....
"Maybe if you learned to put a sock in it she wouldn't have left you."
The other fifteen minutes was spent in silence. Do I still have my job yes, why did they keep me, I don't know.
shintengo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was a week after the Florida shooting.
I own a small nerf party business, most of the time it's children's nerf parties we do, and I usually invite the adults who are watching to play. Because you know if the adults enjoy themselves as well as the kids I am more likely to get repeat custom. So I am explaining the rules and the safety instructions to the kids. Then I turn around and say to the adults. "Hey adults I am happy for you to join in and shoot your kids, you won't get in trouble we don't live in Florida".
Never has there been such a deadpan silence... But anyway I got paid and a nice review.
aquahealer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a ticket agent for Continental airlines in the 90s. My moment was an "I'm not missing this opportunity moment". Claudia Schiffer walked up to me to checkin for first class. I thought about it for five seconds while printing her boarding pass then said "Would you marry me?" She replied with a smile "No I'm sorry, but that was nice of you to ask." in her delicious accent. At least I tried...
jnksjdnzmd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at an ice cream place in high school. I was sorta like a manager. During the shift I was the senior most so whatever problems went to me.
So a couple comes in. The girl was a little annoying. They asked to try as many things as they're allowed to and took forever ordering a fairly large order. One of the items was a milk shake. Someone had left the milk out of the freezer a bit too long so it wasn't as cold as it should be. On top of that they chose one of the softer ice creams. When I made the shake, it did come out a bit liquify but whatever. I was annoyed and there really wasn't much I could do so I gave it to them. They pay and go sit down.
A minute or two later they come back to complain my milk shake is too milky to which I replied "well it is called a MILK shake". I could see the shock on the bfs face. I wanted to laugh. I did feel a bit messed up since i agreed that it really shouldn't be that way. I wasn't had the best of nights so I just said too bad. They asked for the manager. They didn't like it when I said I was the manager at the moment.
The really funny thing was five minutes later, we get a call asking for the manager. I answer it and talk to them. After a bit I ask, are you here now and did I just help you. I just hear a pause and hang up, go to the front, and tell them look there's nothing I we can do. They pout and leave. I never hear from them again.
4ivE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once upon a time I worked at a very shabby sandwich shop started by a couple of MBA Bros / wannabe-entrepreneurs in the 1990s. A fellow came in on a usual empty and boring weekday afternoon and ordered a tuna salad. I made it, served him, took his money, watched him go. Went back to being bored and underpaid.
Fellow returns very shortly. Annoyed. He exclaims that the tuna salad is rancid.
I have no idea why, but I said "Yeah, I thought there was something wrong with it" - which was a lie. I had no idea, nor did I care. I think I quit that day.
bitchkitty818 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Something I feel terrible about more than 15years later. I worked in a supermarket in the fruit and vegetable section when I was 19. A customer came in asking what chives where. I pointed to the herbs and said "this is them. Just think of them as midget spring onions". The customer had dwarfism. I went bright red and fled out the back.
kms1989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a photography company that went in homes. We specialized mainly with newborns. I get to the one clients home and the photos were going great, baby was adorable, mom was great and we had an awesome rapport going. Then we got to a photo where the mom cups the babyโs feet, so the mom takes the socks off the baby...and the baby is missing most of the left foot, and what she did have was severely deformed. I just wasnโt expecting it and I was completely taken aback. I so stupidly said โare you sure you still want this photo?โ Like, Jesus Christ, Iโm so dumb and seemed so insensitive. Of course she wanted the photo still. I cringe and want to kick myself for not thinking it through quicker.
DanGodOfWhatever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady on the phone giving me her whole life story to get to the error code she was getting. At some point 20 min into rant 4, she says "and i just bought this tv". Normally, i mute customers when they rant to avoid what happened here. Out of frustration, i said aloud "good for you" in a very angry/rude voice... she didnt even stutter. Got away completely free of anything because she kept going and made the call to long to qa. But ho boy was i sweating the rest of the week.
TimofSkellige ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's my time to shine! When checking out an elderly couple they bought a cake that the deli didn't put a price tag. Every one who has worked in retail knows what the next line from the customer is. hue hue hue "I guess it's free then".
I myself was quite tired of this remark for the 898th time that week. So for the first time I audibly laughed extremely sarcastically and said "I'm going to fucking kill myself and mail you my brain matter".
Yeah the look on the elderly couple's face was saddening. Though I didn't get in trouble for that remark, I can't help but feel that I made their day a little bit worse.
fobmanx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a credit union for a little while after college. While on the phone with a member going through her account on our system, I clicked the wrong thing and had to go back. Wasn't a big deal but I uttered a loud "oh shit!" It wasn't a huge deal, the customer freaked for a second but then laughed. I'm glad it wasn't some anal dbag that reported me to a supervisor, but I definitely shouldn't have said it...
hansyolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I pulled in to open up my work and there was a really nice corvette waiting in the parking lot. Quick aside, there is a little waiting room where i work and there is one chair where you cant see if somebody is sitting there. So another coworker comes in to open with me. She leaves the door open and unbeknownst to me the corvette driver walks in and has a seat in the hidden chair. My coworker says to me " hey hansyolo, is that your corvette out there?" I say "wanna know why i dont drive a corvette? Cause i have all my hair and my dick still works". In a bizarre twist of fate, the corvette driver is a woman and cracks up laughing.
Mattymed06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt recall the conversation verbatim because it was so long ago, but it was something to the effect of:
โ...the other location doesnโt charge for this, that or the other..โ to which I responded with: โso at least you know if you go there youโll save .xx cents.โ
Didnโt get in trouble, she was pissed... I didnโt care to be honest because I was so over the job at this point.
koalaquake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I work we have a ridiculously fast chip reader like maybe 3 seconds. But if you put the card in too soon it asks you to reinsert your card. This old lady probably in her 70s does exactly that.
โOh, you put it in a little quickโ
All she does was giggle and I have a questioning look on my face, she looks at me with the most shit eating grin and says โthatโs what she saidโ and then just leaves I had to grab my boss and tell him because I was crying.
ImAWizardYo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not to a customer but to a coworker I said I don't drink anymore cause it made my weight balloon. Right then I realized my coworker who enjoys a few daily drinks and is way overweight was within earshot when I thought they had already left. My stomach just dropped and I felt horrible....
juicydeucy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This just happened last weekend. So I drive for UberEats and I was delivering a customer some food at the apartment complex where he lives. I was on the sidewalk but he had briskly walked into the street looking for me. I called to him so that he could see me and met up with him to hand over his food.
Now this guy was pretty tall, fit, and wearing a white top and pants that looked like a some kind of super basic gi or karate uniform. He was barefoot, but holding shoes in his hands, and his face looked sweaty. For some stupid reason I let out the comment โOh, were you just running?โ He gave a dry, unenthusiastic laugh and said flatly โthatโs funny. Noโ, as he walked away. It was then that I noticed two things:
I was fucking mortified and angry at myself the rest of the night. But seriously though, who the fuck wears all white pajamas and walks outside with their shoes in their hands?!?
BucketsAndBrisket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working as a cashier at Kmart and was in my mid teens. Customer came to me with food stamps and I had never seen them before so I yelled across the store โHey Boss...How do I ring up EBT!?โ. The poor lady was so embarrassed...pun intended
yunginold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was the second year that my company was open for Thanksgiving night, and this woman and her daughter come to my register.
The woman proceeds to say, "I'm shopping on Thanksgiving, so you should give me a discount." Without skipping a beat I look her right in the eyes and say "I should be at home with my family, but I'm working on Thanksgiving."
The woman was not amused, the daughter apologized for her mother, my boss just looked the other way.
I don't regret my statement one bit.
bigblueredditsyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a bottle shop. It was xmas eve and it was hectic. We closed the door and were serving the last of the customers. My workmate was at the back of the store talking to a customer. He came over to me and asked (because I know more about wine than him):
'This man would like to if one of these sparkling wines is more bubbly than the other.' I replied way too loudly and flippantly: 'No, they're both sparlking wines, they will have a smiliar amount of bubbles in them. What a stupid question!??' I then walk up and see the customer looking a little embarrased. He heard it. I then had to go back to the counter and wish him a happy xmas. No harm done, but I say stupid shit when I'm tired๐
Drdoom0000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ChinchillaDadKC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, how is the little tyke?!"
Blittero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was cashing out my till as a customer approached to purchase stuff and I informed him the cashiers at the front could help him. He refused to go to the front and I mentioned I was cashing out so that was really his only option. I guess for being denied the ability to pay at my till, he told me I was a fucking asshole and a prick. I only said "same to you," as a response and that set him off. He said a few more stupid things that I stupidly replied to and stormed off.
My friend who was the closing manager asked what the hell happened in my department as they had a customer come up screaming and yelling.
I forgot that the customer is always right.
Besieger13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a customer what company he was with and the company name had Lynch in it. Wrongly assuming he was an employee of the company I asked who would name their company that. Family name and he owned the company.
kittykabooom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got my words mixed up and told the customer that she was buying a lesbian cucumber.
HeelyTheGreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The year is 1999. Isp tech support. Sunday 8:30 am, a bit hungover.
Lady calls, new customer. She had an ISA or PCI ethernet card we sent her. Not recognized by her Windows.
I walk her through installation. Open the case, etc. She puts the card in. Asks me how she'll know if it's well seated.
My reply? "Trust me, when it's deep and well inserted you'll feel it".
Cue in the 3-4 coworkers next to me burst in laughter, and I could hear the customer turn red... and so did I.
lukebsreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my mom. We went out to a restraunt that's parking lot was right next to a neighborhood. It had a side walk and a fence bloxking the 0arking lot from the sidewalk. When we came back from having lunch I ran to the car while my mom walked behind. When I got to the car a kid rising a bike wearing a helmet looks at me and while doing so hits the fence and falls down. My mom sees it and yells out to the kid "what are you retarded". The kid gets up and is actually mentally handicapped. His mom came running up started to help him .My mom ran to the car and told me to "get the fuxk in the car" and drove off as fast as she could.
Qwerty_Asdfgh_Zxcvb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a bagger at a supermarket. Sometimes, I like to kid around with customers and pretend to miss the obvious. This one guy comes in with a cake, and tells it's for a baby shower. His wife's. So I, trying to comically miss the point, say, "oh, who's the father?"
He doesn't respond, and it quickly hits me what I just implied. I apologise, stop speaking, and he tells me that, were I any older, he would have hit me.
Not my best moment. Also, I never saw him nor the cashier I was working with again after this moment.
MoesBAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was proving a coworker some help over a message and mistyped โYou Got It!โ With โYou Go Titโ...thankfully I noticed before pressing enter.
Packrat1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely when a customer at KFC told me, very calmly, mind you, to make sure his chicken didn't have any grease.
I started to say "Well, we cook the chicken in grease," intending to continue to recommend the less greasy grilled chicken, but I didn't get to it.
"NO ONE LIKES A FUCKIGN SMART ASS I CAME IN HERE LAST WEEK AND YOUR SHITTY CHICKEN WAS SOAKED IN-"
I stopped talking to him, walked away, went to the back to tell the cook to make sure this fresh chicken wasn't greasy. His response?
"I mean, we cook the chicken in grease."
Well don't fucking tell the psycho up front that.
freddybob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a 21 year old working as clerk in a pharmacy. A patient comes up and I can't understand a word she is saying. She has darker skin and dark hair, so I starting talking to her in spanish hoping we could understand each other.
She looks at me blankly and is able to get the words out "I just had dental surgery." I run away in horror...
ThePeopleProfiles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Great!
MadGeekling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was running a garage sale. Had a gentleman buy something from me. I complimented his dog that was sitting in his truck on the way out. He said it was a disability service dog and used to belong to his brother.
Stupid me thought he retired this dog and got another. I said, "Aw well he's nice and off duty now!"
He said, "My brother passed away."
I apologized and felt like I wanted to bury myself alive in that moment.
giveitago ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was starving so I ordered some Chinese food but it was taking a while to arrive. On the way to do something I saw a Chinese fellow in the building and before my brain could tell my stomach to stfu I blurted out, are you the Chinese food guy? Picture my eyes widening to saucers and my lifeline splitting into several different timeline scenarios that luckily quickly collapsed into the one where it WAS the Chinese food guy because in every other scenario it would have been awkward as fuck.
wowfuckmeimanidiot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just today i tried giving a blind guy his receipt. Took me a second to realize what was going on when he just stared in my direction not moving๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ
uncle_touchy_dance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer banging on the door after closing time. โcanโt you just look at my phone? I need my phone for work!โ (I work in cellular sales). I explained through the locked glass door that no I canโt open the door after we close but we had another location less than 10 minutes away in the mall that went by mall hours and was open two more hours. Cue the guy losing his shit on me and cursing at me. I just say sorry have a nice night and start to walk away and he bangs the door one last time and yells โFuck You!โ And starts walking to his car.
Now, Iโm the only person there at this point since my boss was in the office counting money so I unlocked the door stuck my head out (so my mouth couldnโt be seen on camera) and yelled โFuck You!โ And then locked the door in his face as he came back after me. I just stood there til he left. I immediately regretted that thinking oh shit if that guy calls customer service it would be pretty easy to for my boss to figure out who it was. He apparently didnโt though because he came in the store the next day and sought me out and apologized and shook my hand.
ileftmyshoebehindyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables, inform customer we are out of item she desires.
"Get out" she says
"Wish I could"
Got fired.
REDDITMASTER79AU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here I am, super tired, only a few weeks on the job and this oldish man walks up to the register. Iโm thinking something to do with someoneโs age and when I open my mouth, instead of โhow are youโ โhow old are youโ comes out. Next week same thing happens. THEN IT GETS WORSE IM CALLING FOR THE NEXT CUSTOMER AND MY VOICE CRACKS. I try again, IT CRACKS AGAIN?!?!?? rip my dignity after that
raiderteeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy and I were servers at the same restaurant, and one night he had a large party of men, or so he thought. He approached their table and said "how's it going gentlemen," then he realizes there is a woman at the table he had confused for a man because she was going through chemo and was bald. Awkward start to a table.
Proj3ctdrunkguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Coworker asked โWould you like more head?โ when pouring a beer.
DreaM1201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was taking in a jewelry repair from a young girl and I handed her her claim ticket, told her that her or her dad (the gentleman standing next to her) could pick it up in ten days. They both looked at me and then I realized that the gentleman was not her father,
DrunkStoner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a large table, they have had a few drinks at this point. Taking away their main course plates, I ask the man at the top of the table would the table like me to bring dessert menus, he tells me they plan on ordering more alcohol instead. As i return to retrieve the rest of the plates, i ask the table if they would like to order anything else. One of the men shouts up to me "I know what i want" and i instantly response with "That'll help" in the most sarcastic tone. Then rush back to the kitchen for a few seconds i panicked until i heard the whole table in hysteric laughter.
PM_ME_YOUR_EMRAKUL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Subway- I was working closing shifts, so this is around 9pm.
"Is the bread fresh?"
"Does 8am yesterday sound fresh to you?"
Liaaure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We mistakenly put the wifeโs name on a dogs collar (worked at an animal hospital at the time and we would take off their collars before putting them in the kennel). Was having a hard time looking for the dogs name and the husband says โthatโs it!. I said โhopefully this wasnโt meant for your wife.โ He laughed.
LayMayLove ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm sure Iโve had more than my fair share
But the cringiest for me is when I tell uber/grub hub/door dash people โenjoyโ or โthank you for visitingโ mostly because they obviously arenโt eating the food or choosing the company. Iโm making a concerted effort to say โhave a good rideโ or โdrive safeโ because I can only hang my head in shame so much.
Others are more mundane or silly. Like today someone was asking about a specialty item and i said โwhyโre essentially chicken strips tossed on a sauce of your choosingโ (leaving out that the chicken tenders are frozen versus specialty item is breaded in house). And then I asked the lady if she wants her wings Bone in or boneless. The gentleman said something about boneless Just being nuggets. Which i agreed. And then tried to back peddle in a โI donโt judge people who order them but Iโve had people who invited me to places that did boneless wings as though that was a highlight but ITS CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR CHRIST SAKE CALL A DUCK A DUCKโ way. Which was cringey from my side but I think he got that I wasnโt being judgey, itโs just that breaded small bites of chicken are, like, the definition of nuggets. I mean theyโre tossed in sauce but it feels like a technicality to me (I actually love chicken nuggets but boneless wings are wings sue me).
Strawberrycocoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some lady was being such an absolute bitch about not getting her discount and throwing such a gigantic scene of it I turned to my assistant manager in an angry huff and shouted in front of a line of customers, "I'm calling the cops on her if you aren't!".
It did nothing to help the problem.
adh247 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little on topic, I worked in a mobile audio shop and a guy pulled up outside the garage in a huge lifted up truck with real big tires.
As I'm talking to the guy about what radio he wanted, an employee was walking into the shop and didn't see the customer standing there and just says "Jesus! How small is this guys dick?!"
He then has to walk by the guy to get into the store with an embarrassed look on his face and the customer just tried to pretend he didn't hear him.
The guy didn't buy a radio that day.
ShiftySauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a marketing company and I advise our clients how to get the most out of what they are doing. One client told me that he had been in his profession for 20 years and I shouldnโt tell him how to do his job, to which I replied:
โI imagine youโve heard the expression โyou canโt teach an old dog new tricks, well that is rarely a judgement on the tricks.โ
It surprisingly went over well, and I have since pulled it out on other time with similar results. Iโve found it isnโt so much what you say, itโs who youโre saying it too, and the context surrounding it.
keeeeeeely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at subway, during my very first shift I poured waaay too much salt n pepper all over this mans sub. Without a second thought I literally picked up the sub and blew it off, very roughly. I donโt actually know what came over me to do that but both my boss (who was next to me) and the customer were NOT impressed.
angie_i_am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
September 12, 2001. I worked in a fabric store and by this time all patriotic themed fabric, and all red, white, and blue fabric, ribbon, and bead had been purchased. I have been dealing with understandably upset people all day who just wanted to express their grief and couldn't find supplies.
A man cut the line at the cash wrap and demanded that I show him where to find flags. I tell him that we don't carry flags and all our patriotic fabric is sold out and apologized for not having what he needed (normal response).
I can't remember his exact words, but he basically yelled at me for working at an unpatriotic business and said I was a bad American for not having flags to sell him.
I responded by asking him what kind of American he was that he didn't own a flag already.
I got sent on a break and he was asked to leave for harassing employees. I wasn't the only one he yelled at, I found out later.
I felt bad for losing my cool.
w0nderfuI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Other day I was bartending, and two twenty-something girls come sit at one of my tables. At some point in our interaction the girl on my right side sees a guy she knows from class and waves to him while he makes eye contact with her, yet gets nothing in return. She got a little upset and made a comment about it, so I proceed to say, "damn, what a fuckboy"
Still tipped 20%. I think.
Plant_Mistress ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a landscaping company and customers call all the time asking all sorts of questions about plants and such. So a lady calls and asks when is the best time of year to prune some shrub. I responded with โlemme just google that real quickโ (because frankly it gets annoying people calling up all the time asking these questions when they can do exactly what Iโm going to do). She says โwhat did we do before google and I said โwell, I guess call me.โ She did not laugh.
robthorn24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do custom embroidery. An Amish guy strolls into the shop and is checking out the machine, which is running. I quip, "Beats doing it by hand."
wynmill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Last year I worked in a hippie/boho store that sold expensive homewares, furniture and clothing. One of the things we sold lots of were Himalayan rock salt lamps. We would often plug them in for people so they could chose the colour they wanted. To do this you had to turn them upside down, take out the packaged globe out and then reinsert it with the plug attached. They could be tricky to remove and weโd sometimes grab a pen or a screw drive to wiggle them out. Anyway this particular day a quite a proper looking family of three, mother, father and son were interested in a really large lamp probably 19kg. They definitely wanted to see it plugged in for the price they would be paying. So after messing around on the floor for a few minutes without any luck I grabbed the first thing I could find which happened to be a wooden flute (I know wtf)... upon inserting the wooden flute into the round hole in the bottom of this salt lamp I looked up at the family and said with a huge grin โthis one time at band camp I shoved a flute...โ realising the next word I quickly stopped myself and just looked at their stunned expressions. We didnโt talk much more and they left soon after without buying the lamp.
Campotter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been waiting to tell this one but I worked for a gym and I sold memberships there.
So anyway the bosses had only a few inexcusable rules and one was that whoevers name was on the credit card info for the contract had absolutely better be the person that signs the authorization for it at the end of the process. If u messed this up the error could take days to correct and you would be mercilessly harassed by the boss about it.
In comes lady who uses husband's credit card details to sign up. I didn't spot this until we got to the front and i ask if he's here to sign for it since the account is his name. She says no she'll sign. I'm not in the mood to be spanked over her error so I let her know that unfortunately rules are if it's not your name you can't sign for it.
She insists that she can. You've gotta understand bosses didn't care about this they only look at the name and the signature. If they don't match then prepare for an epic shitstorm.
I kept trying to abort the contract and grab a manager to explain the situation to but this lady starts getting all angry and saying I'm wasting her time and why can't she just sign it. Blah blah blah.
I finally snapped and without thinking angrily told her she was committing fraud and that I basically wanted nothing to do with the shitstorm that would follow it. (I dont actually know if this is fraud or not, it just popped into my head)
Needless to say I still got my shitstorm only now it consisted of "why did I upset a customer and tell them they were committing fraud."
BruMedNick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a security officer/crowd controller in Australia. Australian PGA round at the golf club (was a Hyatt). Was placed on a side gate solo for a few days during the daytime hours, and spent the nights solo at a hippie bar (which was rather cool). Rest of the team were at the gates, patrolling, crowd control, or off duty.
One night after the bar closed, was at the staff house chilling with a beer (probably around 0300), and the Samoanโs came in, and of course more beers were to be had. Passed out around 0600.
Was roused at 0700 because a car with a few of the lads broke down and they wouldnโt be arriving for about two hours. Needed covers. So was suited up and put on the front door to do the bag checks. Other guys were with me, and they put me somewhere in the middle. Was more than likely slightly over the limit, but more tired than anything else.
Middle-aged lady (with the haircut) comes by with a fold up chair in the carry bag. I asked her to take it out of the bag. She then demands why so. (Lady, the guys at the gate have pushed you to this secondary line for further screening for a reason) I reply, โSo I can check if there is anything between your legs.โ Deadpan face, Asian eyes more sloped than usual. Guard next to me started laughing, I would assume her husband was stifling a laugh, and she turned a lighter shade of supernova. Pulled the chair out of the bag, nothing between the legs, and directed her to move on.
A few mins later, boss came by, pulled me aside, and moved me back to the side gate again...good times...pay was excellent...10/10 would do again...
burntknowledge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady was absolutely irate at a coworker, came over to talk to me, still ranting about how she was going to speak to the manager. Accidentally gave her the wrong name for my coworker.
Leavanny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a call center. We have the power to mute ourselves so customers cannot hear us. The CU and I were going through some troubleshooting and she said โIโm going to go do XYZโ I replied with โIโm Iโm going to sit here and finish my food.โ in a sing song voice. I didnโt mute myself. I was horrified and ready for a verbal beating but the CU just sang back and all was good in the world.
goldminevelvet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Usually when I mention there's a coupon out and it takes them 10 minutes searching through their email to save $2.
Herald-Mage_Elspeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was listening to a customer berate me on the phone, calling me all sorts of names and telling me they were going to sue blah blah, and I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It was a bad idea, the guy exploded, but I just couldn't help it. When they are so mad they're just yelling things to try to get a rise out of you, sometimes I rise to the bait. God I hate customer service. I've been doing it for 15 years and I fucking hate it. Shoot me.
shelovesghost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The banking industry is a lot of high pressure sales for the tellers. If someone comes in with a large check for deposit, you will be threatened with your job if you don't offer them a home equity loan or bring up banking products. So. This jackhole walks in with his way cool sunglasses on and a check deposit of 100 grand, my supervisor is right there by me, and I greeted him, then asked him the thing. He responds with "You stupid bitch, why the fuck would I want a fucking loan?" I looked him dead in my reflection of his way cool glasses and I said "Ya know, until they give me a separate paycheck to put up with language like that from people like you, I will NOT deal with you. YOU'RE DONE.GOOD DAY" He looks confused, not used to anyone retaliating apparently and says, I'll get you fired, I said "Awesome. There's my boss's desk right over there, til then, I said good day. SHE will wait on you" And I walked his deposit ticket over to Launda Launda was the most hated bank teller in all of the universe.....by everyone, staff and customers alike. NOBODY wanted to be waited on by her. I've seen tears, no shit. She was slow, rude, condescending, and not going to make him have a nice day whatsoever. Then I walked into the back and double dog DARED my boss to fire me. Boss however, loved me and would not fire me for being an asshole to an asshole. And I have about 25 more stories about shit just like this, cuz I can't and won't keep my mouth shut!
Galactic_Nerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at an amusement park one summer on a roller coaster. Part of the fun in that job is trying to squeeze larger sized guests into a seat. One time one of my coworkers was having difficulty getting someone in, my coworker was like 5 feet not even 100 pounds, so I go and help get the guy in. I then turn to my coworker and say you should hit the gym to get stronger. Well the larger guest took it to mean o was talking about him and then he complained.
deadlyhabit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Manager at Burger King who had recently moved back home to NY from the South so had adopted some things like y'all along with a bit of a drawl.
Busy ass lunch rush, trying to get stuff out as quick as possible, and some black women customers start yelling about slow service or some problem etc in my face. I responded with, "Man y'all people (customers) are driving me crazy today!". Given I happen to be white and pretty sure I had a mohawk at the time, yeah they didn't take it as just customers in general, but the whole YOU PEOPLE, WHAT DO YOU ME YOU PEOPLE reaction happened.
L0ki15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a sommelier at a restaurant. One night a guest comes in and he requests my assistance picking a wine. I proceed to ask what his tastes are like and what he likes in order to find an appropriate wine for him. He said he wanted acidic light red wines so I immediately think of Beaujolais from France. I come back with the bottle of this young Beaujolais and I said to him โthis is just how I like it, young and tightโ hahaha my face of horror mustโve caused his face of surprised to turn into a laugh... the rest of the party followed with a burst of laughter as well. Itโs safe to say that the rest of the night I was the center of the jokes for those people, and I had it well deserved.
frogjg2003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was cashier at a certain Greek emperor themed pizza restaurant back in high school. In walks in a 12 year old in a business suit. He wants something other than the usual premade pizza, I fill out the order slip and go in the back to put it in the que. Manager is working the toppings and I tell him "here's the weird kid's order". Manager doesn't hear me, but somehow the customer does over the sound of the radio and the pizza oven. He goes full "I'm a very important person, how dare you defy me peasant" mode and ends up complaining to said manager. Got his pizza for free and the manager just gave me a "that happened" look.
Themanischewitz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a convenience store in management. Customer comes in complaining, "Your vacuum blows!" I said, "That's odd, it's supposed to suck."
SuperSpartan177 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
More of a fuck up, but as i was talking to this women who had worked at the same company a long time ago as a pharmacist (i work cashier) and she said at the age of 40 she quit so being the smart ass I was at the time i commented that she looked really young and asked to guess her age while i was working her bags of merch, i said she should be around late 30s. She immediately lets out a laugh and says yeah i must have graduated college when she was like 10 and i go quiet for a akward amount of time and fix myself by saying "you look like your in your 30s" she leaves and i help any remaining customers go on my break and just sit down regretting looking like a dumbass.
tashtash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an Er. A patients family member is translating to Spanish for me and tells their family member โshe wants to see your buttholeโ instead of what I had asked him to say.
I reacted instinctively by shoving him hard enough ont he shoulder and called him a jerk before realizing what I had done.
There are not enough sorry โs in the world to express how basil I felt but this guy just kept on laughing and didnโt mind the exchange.
etoneishayeuisky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't actually remember, but I have them nearly every time I have to leave a voicemail, which is daily.
Edit: while I was not literally talking to a customer, leaving a voicemail can be so much worse.
xxUNIFIxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What? You can't afford to eat here?"
redredsweater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
1) Going through the usual greeting to my table of ten people at the restaurant I work at. "Welcome, are we celebrating anything today?" "Why, do we get something for free?" "Unfortunately not sir." "Welp. Looks like we should head over to McDonald's." "Would McDonalds give you anything for free?"
2) "Hi, my name is ______, what can I get for you to drin-" "I'll take the Dijon chicken." "I imagine it'll be a bit hard to fit through the straw but alright. You get two sides with that." Good thing they were both good sports about it and weren't upset.
neil_chill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a hardware store. I opened the store by myself. The first customer comes in. I always greet the customers when they roll in. Threw out a "good morning sir!"
... It was a lady. Very short hair. Kinda bulky. But definitely a lady. Had to help her one on one for the next half hour. A very long half hour...
when-cats-attack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a shitty burger joint, which served shitty burgers. I was just having a shit day, and this woman asked me where we sourced our burger meat from. Without thinking I answered โSYSCOโ while rolling my eyes. Luckily, I donโt think she had ever worked in food service, so I donโt think she knew what SYSCO is, but it was the moment I realized I should probably quit working at that shitty burger place.
Wimplow81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked retail, woman was obviously having a bad day complaining about her personal issues as I rung her up. She went to go leave after paying and I said "I hope you have a better day.". I meant it sincerely, but she got super pissed and thought I was being sarcastic and told me to fuck off lol.
Duro18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This didnโt happen to me but a good friend i work with at the local supermarket. There are these 2 regulars that are sisters that are there weekly. While shopping, my friend asks the one woman how her day is going. She responds with, โIts been ok but i lost my sister,โ and my friend replies with โOh shes right thereโ while pointing to the womanโs sister nearby. The woman goes โno my other sister just died today.โ He immediately apologized but she completely understood.
man_chocolate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a bank teller at a chase, my favorite fast food restaurant is chic-fil-a. Well one day a customer of African background came in and was looking to withdraw funds for a bank elsewhere. The amount was 3,000 so a cashiers check over cash is more safe. Well a cashiers check is 8$ at Chase, so he decided to take cash and I said โyou can buy a meal at chic-fil-a for eight bucksโ
I never wanted to swing my hands out and grab those words.
Good news is he didnโt take it personally at all. I felt so bad
82many4ceps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Sir"
acpezoldt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a Brookstone, during the holiday season, and there was a lady who could not get the signal to pull up a coupon on her phone. She was going to purchase a $20 item, and the coupon was for 15% off. She went on a whole rant about not having good signal on her phone and that it was all our fault for building the store poorly and blocking cell reception, all for $3 off this item. We, as all malls do, had a santa in the middle of the mall where you could go and ask for your Christmas gift.
After about 5 minutes of this lady's complaining, I told her "Why don't you go and sit on Santa's lap and ask him for better service; maybe that'll help." She proceeded to ask for my manager, who after hearing the story, pulled me into the back room to congratulate me.
MarvelDc97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer once asked me what my favorite holiday was and out of instinct I said 9/11....
bslovecoco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i worked at a pizza place most of my college career. i was working one super bowl sunday and we were extremely busy, naturally. all of the phones were ringing nonstop and this lady called to complain because she wanted her pizza cut in squares instead of triangles, and we cut it in triangles.
i told her we were busy and it was probably just overlooked, a total accident, something a reasonable person could understand. she would not stop yelling at me over the phone
so, i told her i would talk to my manager and see what he says. my manager said โi donโt have time for this.โ so i went back to the phone and told the lady โiโm sorry but we donโt have time for this.โ
she yelled at me and threatened to call corporate :(
romeo-a-bro-bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
customer : i've been waiting 25mins for my taxi!
me : you have been waiting 18mins.
customer : so? whats the difference?
me : 7
emore89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I previously worked in a call center doing collections when I got on the phone with a woman who stated she had just had a baby and couldnโt pay her bill. Something about her tone of voice told me not to congratulate her, but the words escaped me before it was too late. And, of course, it was a stillbirth. Cringe.
Burninator05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Sears in the shoe department and a guy came in asking for a specific boot in a specific size. I looked on the shelf and in the back but was unable to find what he wanted. He then asked "Why don't you have it." to which I replied "Because we didn't know you were coming in." Needless to say he was unhappy and complained to the manager.
chipaloopadoop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got a few.
I used to work at a gas station and the pumps would regularly be a pain in the ass. This led to customers becoming pricks a lot and blaming me.
After a day of people tearing me to shreds, one guy threatened to post about his bad experience on Facebook and I replied "ooooohhhh, I'm so scared."
Another time a guy was being an was toward for no real reason. My boss and him apparently knew each other. My boss asked him what he was up to. The guy told him he was going to a Nickelback concert. I said "Ha! Nickelback". He told me to shut the fuck up and stop laughing. He got really mad when I didn't stop laughing. He got REALLY mad when my boss started laughing and several other customers too.
An old man came in and tried to buy a case of beer, and I had to refuse due to his lack of ID. He said he obviously was over 21 (in his defense, he was). But our policy is no ID, no sale. He called me a cunt, and I said "when I was your age, we were respectful to cashiers".
I was cleaning the women's restroom and had a sign on it that said "closed for cleaning". A woman went in and came out complaining how disgusting they were. I replied " you're right, someone needs to put a closed sign on there and clean it. Wait...". She informed me I was very rude, asked for my manager, I told her he wasn't there. She asked for his cell number which I told her she would not be getting.
Was I a bit of a dick sometimes? Yeah. But I knew it would take a lot for them to fire me. Mostly because we had a lot of people who would never come in, and because of that I would end up working double or even triple shifts. I was a reliable person in a place that ran through people like water. I also did the work no one wanted to do. Finally, my boss just liked me, we only ever had one disagreement my entire time there, and he even admitted it was his fault.
I knew my worth and pushed my luck from time to time.
theforlornknight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call center help desk and we took the supervisor complaint calls. Woman called upset her TV wasn't working and we wouldn't be able to send someone out until the next day. She had gone through 2 other help desk people before me demanding someone come out and kept getting a "no". So I talk to her and tell her the same thing after calling our dispatchers and she wants another supervisor. I tell her that I'm it I'm the last sup, you've talked to them all.
After a few minutes of back and forth she gives up and I expect her to say something like "Fine, have a good day" or something. Instead she says "well you can go to hell". This was an hour long call, I'm tired, and so I say "You too, ma'ma, bye bye." It takes a split second for me to realize what I just said but by then it's too late and I'm already hanging up. As soon as I do the whole help desk section errups in laughter because they were all listening in. Including my boss. Thankfully she didn't call back to complain about it and our client never pulled the call at random.
TL;DR: Accidentally told a customer to go to hell.
Spiderranger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I hate to be the "didn't say this to a customer, but" guy, but I said this in front of a coworker.
I'm about to get off work at the grocery store I work at and am telling a buddy I work with I'm gonna go grab some dinner after and head home. I tell him "gonna go to Walmart, grab some popcorn chicken, because I'm black-"
Beside me is a very heavyset black woman cashier with large bug eyes. I can feel her glaring at me. I just walk away to the back of the store.
Buddy follows me soon after telling me she is now extremely pissed because that's apparently the third race joke made in front of her that day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could write it but itโs soooo cringe worthy.
Elliottstrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly what I said so much as what I did.
Bartending at a small-ish club once. Guy is irate for essentially no reason, just decided to be a dick I guess. He asks to see my manager. I am the manager but I've had a bad day. "Okay, he's out at the loading dock follow me."
Guy walks out the back door. I close it behind him. We don't have a loading dock. Told the bouncer not to let him back in. Felt pretty smug and actually never got in trouble for it. Worried about it for a few days though.
SleepyVictimsUnit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a retirement home, and I was on the assisted living side giving food to one of the residents. It was just before Christmas, and I had been talking about how she had cancer and it was pretty hard for her but she was excited because she was visiting her family for christmas. As I was leaving I said "well if I don't see you again, merry christmas!"
I meant, if I don't see you before christmas but I realized it was probably a not so great thing to say to someone actively fighting cancer
AidilAfham42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a client and I didnโt say anything. Because I fell asleep while in a discussion with him :(
micdify ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bank and it was 3 minutes to close on a Friday. Customer who never takes no for an answer wants us to send money overseas, which we canโt do for him and he knows it all too well. So when he insisted with the teller staff again, I have out and said โIโm locking the branch doors in 3 minutes- you will be on the other side of them!โ The girls had to hold in their laughter. Our bank is know for itโs outstanding Customer service, and we should never ever say something g like that! Totally satisfying though!
NabunagasRevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kickin them out there store , they ended up messaging the ceo i still DGAF and went out that way a customer is not always right and a purchase does not confirm loyalty
panther2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During my first year of college, I worked as a sales associate at Banana Republic. I was the model sales person, I had "clients" that would repeatedly come back and ask to shop with me, I had their sizes memorized, and my managers LOVED me. There was even a letter posted up in our break room that a customer had written to corporate about me. Anyways, one day this lady was yelling at me because we didn't have a sweater in her size and I suggested we order it for her. After she went off for a few minutes, I don't know what came over me but I remember it felt like the whole store went silent the second I yelled, "DO YOU THINK I GIVE A FUCK IF YOU BUY ANYTHING?" She just froze, dropped everything she was carrying and walked out.
dactyif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Couple at last call at the bar. Thick Irish accent, I ask them to leave and he says "I'm not leaving till the fat lady sings." without missing a beat I asked his wife why she wasn't belting out the national anthem.
That's where the fight started.
AsianTurkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy was buying stuff using his university ID. Since it was my first day on the job, I quickly checked the ID before scanning to verify that it was his. I saw a picture of a person (presumably female) with long hair so I immediately asked the guy if the "lady" gave him permission to use her card, but stopped mid way after realizing that the dude's facial structure is quite similar to the person in the ID. I quickly tried to change the convo topic but he caught on and forgave me. He also took off his hat and showed me his fancy long hair as proof that he was the owner of the ID lol
bestem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I only realized how bad this was the next day.
I worked at an office supply store, and it was the beginning of the summer. We were supposed to have most of our back to school products out, but the huge corrugates we had to build to put all the product in had gotten misdelivered and it took some time for the supply chain to get us a replacement.
Our regional manager was coming, and we were 20 minutes from the airport, the closest store to the airport, so we were always a store that corporate came to when they came out. We knew he was coming, we'd spent the whole week cleaning the store, full-pulling all the merchandise, etc. We'd gone so far as to squeegee the windows and powerwash the carts. We finally got the corrugates in and I'd spent the day building them in my print center while my coworkers put them out and filled them as quickly as they could. My district manager was going to be picking up the regional manager at the airport the next morning, and bring him to our store at 10 am. My job for the rest of the night was to fill as much of the corrugate closest to the front of the store, in between ringing up customers. I had a couple carts of product next to the corrugate, and a third cart with empty boxes.
It was a slow night, and I was able to get quite a bit of product out. The empty boxes and other packaging were overflowing from the third cart. A customer came up to be rung up, and I made small talk with him while doing so, admitting that the regional manager would be in the next day and we were finishing getting our back to school set up before he got there.
The next day, 9 am there's an emergency conference call. Our regional manager had switched his flight to the previous night, and stopped by our store on his way to the hotel from the airport. He spent 30 minutes on the phone complaining to the district about the state of our store, and if that was the store that the district manager was the proudest to show off, then the rest of the stores had better up their game.
He was the customer I'd admitted to the night before that we weren't quite ready for the 10 am visit from our regional manager.
2g00d2btru3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a vet. A client was incredibly upset after they euthanized their pet, and as they were leaving, out of habit, I said, โHave a great day!โ
Opt_69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker. I used to work at a largely known copy shop. My coworker was helping a customer create a business card. She declined to see a proof as she was in a hurry and needed them the following morning. When a proof is declined, the customer signs a proof waiver stating that the copy shop is not liable for mistakes.
When she came back to pick up the cards, she noticed an error and complained. My coworker pointed out that she declined a proof. She said, "I guess I'm the idiot for waiving the proof then, huh?" My coworker responded, "At least you're being honest." I screamed internally. He was fired.
Snoringdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had an elderly couple in for a photography session. Lady told me she had recently broke her hip falling off a table at a wedding. (!?!) My mind never consults with my mouth, and I said, "Well I hope you got enough money in your g-string to make it worth it." She was not amused. Husband laughed so hard I know he spent that night on the couch.
CompleteNumpty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a call centre for Sky TV (a UK subscription Satellite TV service) and had this exchange (C = Customer, M= Me)
C: "Why has my Sky been turned off, I demand that it gets turned back on!"
M: "Ok, I can look into that for you - could you please give me your name and account details?"
C: "Fuck sake, you should know that from my telephone number!"
M: "We don't have the facility to link incoming calls to accounts, and even if we did I'd still need to confirm your details for data protection purposes"
C: "That's bullshit!"
M: "No, it's not. You can try calling back again later and speaking to someone else but you'll get the same answer."
C: "Load of shite!" proceeds to confirm details
M: "Ok, thanks for that. I can see you haven't paid your bill in three months so, unfortunately, you have been cut off."
C: "That's not fair - I demand that you turn me back on!"
M: "I can't do that unless you reduce the outstanding balance to less than one month's bill, which would mean you have to pay ยฃ90"
C: "Fuck off!"
M: "Being abusive doesn't change the fact that you haven't paid your bill and the system doesn't allow me to turn your account back on unless you pay two of the three outstanding months, which would be ยฃ90"
C (shouting): "I'm on Jobseeker's allowance (unemployment welfare for our American cousins) so I can't afford that! Turn my fucking TV back on!"
M: "Shouting, swearing and being rude doesn't change how our systems works I'm afraid. As you are on Jobseeker's you obviously have other spending which takes priority over your subscription, I can put you through to our cancellation team who will be able to get your account closed if you want"
C (shouting): "FUCK YOU! I'VE GOT TWO KIDS! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM OCCUPIED?!"
M: "Well it is the middle of summer and you aren't working - you could always play with them outside rather than using the TV as a babysitter."
C: starts crying
M: "Oook, I'm going to get my manager".
My manager calmed her down, closed her account (with the outstanding balance waived - a standard thing for people in financial difficulties) and gave me a 30 minute break. During that time he listened to the call and, while what I said was out of order, he said he couldn't blame me for reacting so didn't log it officially.
armorgeddonxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer that was wearing a jacket with their company logo on it that I hated the company they worked for.
Disclaimer: it was Spectrum
john3806 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened to my buddy, we worked together at a small diner and after he drops off the tab at a table of an elderly couple he attempts to say, โEnjoy the rest of your day!โ
Instead, what comes out is, โEnjoy the rest of your days!โ
Oops.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
During my first week as a cashier at stop and shop I was playing it super safe when it came to alcohol purchases so I asked what looked like a 55 year old woman for her ID. She jokingly said "I don't look over 21 to you?" and I said "Who knows? You could just be a really ugly teenager." She stopped laughing after that.
Psydt0ne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've cleaned dryers and I never laugh.
Plunkett120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work a pub, had a customer come in just about daily. Nice guy. Ended up becoming decent enough friends, but one day he disappeared. I heard from a mutual friend that he was arrested for dui. He gets out and I run into him at a restruant. He asked how I've been and what I've been up to and I say not much, only to respond with "what you been up to?" as soon as I finished I remembered jail. He'd been in jail. Needless to say, he just say oh this and that."
djabor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
well if itt itโs going to be humblebrags, hereโs mine.
was a bartender at a famous bar in amsterdam. lennox lewis (big ass boxer) was there with his wife and ordered two orgasm shots and told me to give it to her.
my response was โi am not givig lennox lewisโ wifeโ an orgasm, you give it to her yourself.
thankfully, he laughed.
gabrayle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, your name is Sally? You mean like Charlie Brown's little sister? " Me: ooh, no! I'm not that innocent! /facepalm I got a great tip, tho
little-daisy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once ringing out some customers and having a casual conversation about the weather with them. everything was great until I said "yeah, I'm not a fan of winter. in fact, the 9 cold months out of the year make me want to kill myself." I'm honestly still surprised to this day they didnt report me; they looked genuinely horrified.
also once I was googling something for a customer and tried to swipe my Facebook messages away and ended up showing him one of my nudes.
thisisjesso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cashier at Wal-Mart and a lady who looked like she was the wife to some biker came to my till. I love the badass leather look so I was complimenting her outfit. She did have some freakishly long fake nails, a length I had never seen before. I tried to compliment her on her badass appearance and I said, "just remember when you go crazy, I am on your side." Her shocked look said it all and 19 year old me died a little inside
HandsomeMyles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i got stuck halfway in a customerโs driveway one day. his house was up a hill and my tailgate dug into the street in front of his house, leaving my back tires off the ground and unable to get out. lo&behold, he happens to come home for lunch as im stuck. i call my boss to say hey uhhh i fucked up, we get it out, and my boss is still on the phone with me.
boss says โhows the guy? is he mad?โ i say โhold on boss, hes right here - sir are you mad?โ
boss is screaming into the phone wtf you dont ever ask a customer that!!! ๐
MomSausageandPeppers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a liquor store in Colorado. There was a semi-regular customer who came in early in the morning, and I saw her just the night before. I said: โHaving an early one, huh?โ She just kind of faked a smile, paid, and left. The owner was within earshot and said: โYou work in a liquor store. Donโt ever say anything like that to one of my customers again.โ At that moment, with a red face, I knew I shouldnโt have said that.
eatmocake84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked sales in a very busy contracting company where is should have been free to go meet customers to consult for new sales at a moment's notice, instead was shackled to a desk answering service calls all day that a dispatcher should have been fielding. As a result, doing my actual job was always interrupted by shit that wasn't my job every 10 minutes or so, and fighting dispatchers to do their actual job. One day I called back on a job and left a voicemail for maybe a $40 job follow up instead of selling a $3,000 job like I should have been able to. Before I hung up (thought I had, wearing a headset) I pretty much screamed GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF FUCKING TIME. On the VM. Called back to apologize on VM. Never heard back. Things are better these days now that I'm not there.
Fattty_Pattty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a nursing student on an oncology floor, my patient asked me what show she should watch on Netflix. I suggested breaking bad. She said "yea but I have cancer so I dont want to watch a show about a guy with cancer." I immediately handed her the call-light and left the room.
TexasBullets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A looong time ago, I worked as a computer repair tech in a small IT shop, and when not in the field, I had to provide contract phone support. One day I had forgotten to call a customer back so when I finally did, they had figured their issue out on their own.
I turned to my co-worker and laughed, saying "Hey, if you don't call them back for a while, they figure it out on their own!"
He replied, "Yeah, you mean like for a few minutes, right?"
I laughed and said, "No! I mean like hours!"
It was then I noticed he was looking kinda nervously over my shoulder. I turned to see the CEO of one of our larger contract clients.
I didn't work there much longer.
paradoxaimee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at a bank.
A customer came up to the window and asked for a statement print out and a balance. These both require me to go into their account where I can see how much money they have and in this customerโs case, it was very little. As in, less than $1 little.
Well the customer begins telling me about how they just finished a long shift and were glad their boyfriend was picking them up and without thinking, I laughed and said โwell itโs not like you can afford the bus right nowโ.
She did not find it funny.
Masterstorm569 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:43:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not what I said but what I did. When I still worked as a cashier during my training at a Big Retail Store I had a husband and wife come in my lane buying just a few items. I keenly observed that the husband had a prosthetic hand but in the shape of an actual hook. Now I had never really seen someone with an actual hook for hand before so I was intrigued and tried not to show my obvious curiosity by staring. When they left my lane however for some reason my brain decided to take one final glance at Mr. Hook Hand so I turned around to take a peek.
At the same time as Mr. Hook Hand turned around and made eye contact me as I was very obviously eyeing up his hook. He didnโt take this to kindly from the half second I saw before turning right back around to pretend I wasnโt staring but I definitely remember him having murder in his eyes and take two huge steps back toward my register before his wife dragged him out the store. Never have I been more terrified of being hooked from behind in my life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I knew it. Iโm from the area and know your pain.
casualblair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: can you check my lottery tickets?
Me: sure.
Customer: let me guess, didn't win? Lol thanks anyways.
Me: you won $673,000.00
mztd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a novelty shop in the mall. A kid comes in and buys a remote controlled machine toy that says insulting phrases with cuss words. I asked him if his parents would care that he's getting it and he assures me it's fine. So of course later on his dad comes in to return it, pissed I sold it to him. I said "I don't get paid to watch your child I get paid to sell things in this store." That made him even angrier. The best part though was this toy worked with other remotes, so while it's sitting at the register between us, someone presses a remote and it says, "you're an asshole!!" He thought it was me at first, but when I explained how it worked we both had a laugh about it. I then explained how his punk kid told me he'd be ok with him buying the damn thing to begin with!
Assrocket33r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a womens clothing store and I was exhausted on this day from general sleepless nights and working alone without a break because my lunch staff was sick.
An old lady came to the counter to buy her items. I had helped her out several times during her visit but for the life of me I couldn't remember a SINGLE thing we'd talked about. Like I said, I was really tired that day. I did remember something though = she was going to some very important event tomorrow (god knows what it was though).
I couldn't remember what the event was, so in an effort to pry some information from her, and get a conversation going at the counter, I asked the generic 'customer is going to an event' line and asked:
"So, are you excited for tomorrow!?" :)
That's when I remembered: She was going to her mother's funeral.
iamdorkette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a Toyota/Lexus dealership set in the service department. We had just begun a new thing where we were told that Lexus customers no longer got free rental vehicles for minor services but could rent one. I had a customer call in and as I was scheduling his appointment I was telling him he could rent a vehicle. He asked what I meant by a rental in a slightly offended tone. My brain did not catch the tone, so I told him that a rental car is a car you have to pay to drive around, it goes vroom vroom.
Then I realized what I said, and he took a minute to process it. My co-workers were looking at me completely horrified, like what the fuck did I just say? My boss was even squinting at me. And then I was like, fuck I'm sorry and he demanded to speak to my manager. She spent over an hour on the phone with him trying to placate him.
The policy changed back to "give Lexus customers whatever" very quickly.
Everyone laughed about it after but in the moment it was awful, lol.
UnsureAbsolute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When asked, "what's your BEST price?" I pointed at the sales price and said, "that's MY best price because I'll get paid the most from that. So I don't think you want to know my best price. What's yours?"
Surprisingly she bought. Not at that price.
thetempest89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was this obese lady who came up to my counter (Iโm fat as well, it had nothing to do with being fat) and she brought up this purple nail polish and I said, โoh what was nice colour, it reminds me of beauty and the beastโ well she was super angry and i was embarrassed. Iโm asssuming she thought I was saying sheโs fat or a beast. But legit, it reminded me of the purple on the cover.
Kyser_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a candy/ice cream store that also made fudge. I was making some on the table one day and this guy comes up and is like "Wow that's so cool! Can I help?!" and I'm like why don't I be nice today?
So I try to say "Yeah! You can try a sample when I'm done and tell me if it's any good!" All he hears is "Yeah!" and he busts through my little wooden gate door thing, grabs the fudge paddle off the table and promptly sneezes all over the fudge.
touristmeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a nice-ish restaurant and I was dropping food off to a table that wasnโt in my section. As I was finishing off the โis there anything else I can doโ the table next to me continued to talk at me. After Iโd finished with the table I was serving I turned around to give them the attention they so desperately wanted.
They asked for water because apparently they hadnโt been given any in โat least 20 minutesโ which is a joke because my friend who was working that section had topped them all up less than 5 minutes ago.
Of course they didnโt just ask for water. They phrased it like we were tying to purposely dehydrate them, and then after I responded with โIโll be right back with the jugโ he shoved his empty water glass in my face and said โwaterโ โwaterโ wattterrrโ. I felt very disrespected by this as he was an older man sitting with 3 other adults and he had his โIโm talking to a thick person voice on. So after heโd finished getting the word water out of his mouth 5 times I replied with โyes, funnily enough I do know what water isโ and wakes away.
I then immediately topped up their water despite it not being my section and carried on with everything else I had to do. When theyโd finished their meal they talked to my boss about how disrespectful I was and about how I need to be fired. Jokes on them because Iโm the best waitress in this place and thereโs no way my boss would get rid of me for just that.
wearegiantstogerms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Too many to pick out one.
TrillSeeker00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I almost spilt tea on a man out dining with his wife. I made a joke about "not wanting to pour a drink on your husband. I'll wait and let u do that." Kind of joke. They just glared at me. Oops.
terras444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In college I worked as a campus tour guide. One of those people that walk backwards and tell some of the history and facts about the school to prospective students and their parents. Got to the gym one day and started talking about all the awesome things the gym had...and then I decided to share a story about when I was running on one of the treadmills and got electrocuted. I was running and kept getting shocked by the ungrounded equipment. The entire time Iโm telling the story Iโm trying to think how to say something else, but needless to say. I didnโt see those parents or those kids at the school again.
Trovski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a stock boy at a grocery store. I have trouble deciphering accents. The particular woman I was helping had a thick Chinese background English accent.
She came up to me and asked if she can have my cock... I looked down at the aforementioned area, and said you're not allowed. The woman got offended and asked to see the manager. Turns out she just wanted some coca cola (coke) . Laughed it off, but at the time I was embarrassed ๐
pricelessangie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called to asked if we had an item in stock. When she said it was black and blue, I responded with "just like my bruises". I heard silence for a few seconds and was terrified that she would want to speak with my manager (she didn't). We didn't have the item in stock.
flyingsgehttimonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once asked a customer if he needed a hand with something.... to my shock the guy only had one hand.....
ThatTysonKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving this couple at the burger joint I work at. They were nice, peppy, and giggly. The best kind of customer, really. So we were joking around as they ordered, and at the end, I asked for a name for the order. He looks at here and says "Bitch." I laughed. "Haha, she's such a bitch, hey?" He looked me dead in the eye and said "I said Mitch." Quickly finished their order, apologised and never served them again.
YeEtLy78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer ask me where the bathroom was. I told him, he said thanks and I said back โhave a good oneโ. Wrong time for retail mode to kick in.
mstarrbrannigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Shut the fuck up."
At the hotel I used to work in, we had this problem guest. It was a cheap hotel, so we had a lot, but this guy was really bad. Everything was a fucking argument with this guy.
We'd been extremely busy and understaffed, and were all worn down to the wire. It happened to be my turn to deal with the guy. Everyone else had kept putting off putting him in his place because they were too busy to be bothered. Unfortunately for him, that day I found the time to deal with him.
He extended his reservation online, but didn't come to the desk to get his paperwork in order. We need signatures and things from guests on file, it's very important to have documentation that they have agreed to the hotel's policies.
After check out time I finally managed to get ahold of him and reminded him he needed to get these things handled before check out time, which was noon. He said he would come to the desk when he got back to the hotel. And he did come to the desk, but said his ID and card were in his room, and he needed a new key. So I got him the new key, but told him he had to come right back with his ID and card. Ten minutes pass, he's nowhere.
So I call his room phone and he tells me he'll come down when he wants to. I tell him no, I need him to come to the desk immediately. He says he'll be down in a few. I had other things to deal with, he never showed and didn't answer his phone. A little while later, I spotted him on the camera talking to a housekeeper. I chased him down and demanded that he come to the desk and get his paperwork done. He whined that I wasn't treating him like a valued customer.
And it just slipped out. He started yelling and bitching, I evicted him, police were called. My manager, after I explained the situation, asked me not to do that again. I was later promoted to Front Desk Manager.
BigMoi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a pet store and one morning the phone rang so I answered, for essentially no reason whatsoever, 'Thanks for calling Pet Supplies Plus, so what are you doing~?' like I was running a hotline.
I'm a guy too
TheSkyFallsRiverBurn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in tech support at the time and I had a VERY angry woman on the line. She was mad at everything and I was the one she wanted to take it out on. Now I want to be clear this was clearly a woman on the line.
She kept talking over me and trying to find new reasons to be mad. I have appologized many time at this point the typical "I am sorry ma'm, let fix that for you" after the sixth time or so she was made at that too and yelled "I AM NOT A MA'M! STOP CALLING ME MA'M!!" my brain was checked out at this point and before my internal censor kicked in I said "I am sorry sir....."
I just stopped there for a moment expecting the screaming for a supervisor. But the odd thing was it never came and from that point on actually let me speak and fix her problem. Never heard anything back from that which I kept expecting too for a longtime.
one_pump_trump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used work in software sales for a big fortune 20 company. I went to a very well-known bank to sell one of our products. I was setting up the demo systems with a coworker in an empty conference room before presenting to some of the bank's IT executives. My coworker and I were going back and forth on how crappy this bank's workspace is in the IT department (a zip code of cubicles, restrooms are always full, etc). I thought it was just us but turns out the TV just on sleep mode. There was already a video conference session started with the stakeholders in a different location. They heard everything.
Yeah, I went pale once I turned the TV on to see these executives and their assistants sitting there silently. Nobody brought anything about it up, so I thought the mic was muted with the TV was off. After presenting, we usually go home and wait a bit for other vendor selection processes to finish. Got the call 3 weeks later from one of the IT executives telling us they are going to go through with the contract process (yay!). At the very end of the call, he said ' thanks for the presentation; it really helped us understand <product>. By the way, we are working on fixing the bathrooms.' and you can hear the other people in the conference room they were sitting in giggling a little bit.
Everything worked out fine, and AFAIK management at my company never heard that story. I will never forget about that meeting.
waiting4mayhem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy would come in all the time ask why we don't have a product or he can get it cheaper at another store. One day sick of his shit just turned to him and told him to fuck of there and tell him waitin4mayhem said hi. Don't know who was more shocked him, me or the exclusive brethren I was actually serving
deviousCthulu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a Copy Center as a supervisor and one very early morning, we were a bit busy and this extremely rude lady interrupted me helping another customer to yell that she didn't know how to use the fax machine. No biggie, this literally happens 5+ times a day. I politely explain that the instructions are just to her left and if she wants to give it a shot and read them, I'd be over after I was done with the customer I was already helping. She cuts me off and yells, "I can't do that." "Ma'am, if you'd just give me a moment and read the instructions-" "I can't do that!" "You can't read?!" Best part was the customer I was already helping laughed so hard he snorted.
xMCioffi1986x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at the big box store with the blue and yellow logo and the smiley face. I worked in the Electronics Department and a guy came up to me asking about phone cards for prepaid phones. I was having a really bad day and my filter was absolutely gone. So he's holding two cards, and I don't remember the amount but let's say one was $30 and the other was $50. He asks me what the difference between the two cards are. My mouth worked a lot faster than my brain did and I said, totally deadpan, "20 dollars." He was not happy. I quickly realized how unprofessional I was being, apologized, and explained the true differences between the cards. I was lucky he didn't go to a manager.
watties_x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at subway that had a random pole in the middle of it. A small group of customers came in, and one pointed at the pole asking โdoes it get rowdy after close here?โ My response was yeah โactually yes, we just had to get that reinforced for your mother.โ I clicked at how rude it was and was a bit worried what his response would be, but when his friends burst out laughing I figured I was safe.
schelbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Local Japanese restaurant, working as a host to help the new girls at the desk. Reservation for 18 for the hibachi grills, time comes and no one in sight. No grace period policy. Slammed otherwise, so seat the next available group.
Woman comes in immediately asking to sit down at her table.
Shit.
"Okay, sure, we'll seat you in 10 minutes."
"But my reservation was for 6. Not 6:10."
"Well your reservation was for 6 and now it's 6:02 so I'll seat you in 10 minutes."
Manager wasn't very happy.
Twatless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Came back from an awesome holiday of camping and snorkling to work in a popup stall, I was stopping people at events to get them tp buy fruit and veg and I muttered loud enough under my breath, I actually don't give a fuck. Pretty dire she heard it, wasn't intentional though
Danglebeef420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Finally my time to shine. A few years ago, I had these 2 Asian women come into the restaurant I worked in. They both spoke little English and had a heavy Asian accent. So I get them set up and take their order. It's hard to understand even a full sentence from either of these women, but I finally get their pizza put into the POS and wait for it to come out. When I go to drop off their food I ask them if they needed anything else, and one of them just make a shaking motion with her hand. I figured she meant she wanted Tabasco, but without thinking I say "Oh you want soy sauce?" And instantly freeze up. Knowing full well what I just said, I start apologizing and babbling on and try to make a joke but they just sat there and kept making the shaking motion. Luckily nothing ever came of it, but my old work now tells that story to most of their regulars. Most seem to get a kick out of it.
dwmoore21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I hate our customers..."
k_fudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but an employee I managed...
Worked at a bank, elderly customer came in and asked for a large withdrawal of all large bills. It was pretty standard procedure to try and figure out what the withdrawal was for etc etc.
Customer: Iโm buying something for my wife. EE: well thatโs lovely! What for? Customer: itโs our 70th wedding anniversary! moon eyes
EE, as straight faced as can be: Iโm sorry.
The poor old man was completely thrown off until I took over the transaction. He was happily married, my employee was a cynic who forgot her filter.
deadfermata ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend work at Jamba Juice. Jamba Juice took down 'names'.
A flamboyant guy named Gary came to order a drink and my friend did not hear the name properly and wrote 'Gay' right in front of him.
He said 'Okay, Gay, we'll call you when your order is ready...'
deimos_737 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my co-managers said, "Have a seat wherever you like." ... To a lady in a wheelchair. He felt terrible.
BatmanPicksLocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I can't remember specifics but I've said some things that either piss off customers or put us at liability just because the way I worded things. It freaking sucks. Been awhile thankfully.
Melfunctional- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
.
angelsandairwaves93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Got into a shouting match with a customer while i was working cash. He was trying to be a white knight and I had enough of peoples shit that day so I gave him lip. We went back and forth and I realized I probably shouldn't have opened my mouth when I realized he was only 2 ft away from my face and could throw a punch.
Tuutori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work as a bouncer for this a little bit fancier bar/restaurant where beers were something like 6-7 euros and drinks even more. The gig was sweet as people were usually friendly and the atmosphere was nice. But we also had an admission fee of 2 euros. And because of that I got pretty quickly tired of hearing "That's too much, we're going somewhere else. Give us a discount. We are not paying that. Etc". The problem was, that admission fee was my fucking salary and many times I pointed this out. But a lot of people were still basically saying they don't think I should get paid that 'much' even though the beers and drinks were much more costly. People could easily throw away 100 euros to get drunk but 2 euros for the security services was too much.
Well, I finally got fed up and started to answer every "We are going to some place else if we have to pay" with 'Good. We don't want any broke ass people here. This is a nice place.'
It took a couple of months but finally people started to complain and after the restaurant could secure a decent replacement I was let go but I didn't give a shit. If you can't pay 2 euros for your safety but can invest hundreds to get drunk and possibly become a problem for others and especially me, fuck you.
CircuitMonke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Use to work in a pub and the landlords complaint of the week was that we weren't being careful enough checking IDs for underaged drinkers. Because the landlord was sitting at the bar, when a couple entered the pub and ordered two drinks I felt I should ID them to show I was taking it seriously. What left my mouth however was "Can I see some ID for your little boy" to which the rather large, now irate gentleman respond "That's my wife!" To be fair, she was very short and had short hair, but upon further inspection she was clearly female and not a child. I didn't feel I had a choice but to bluff it out and insist on seeing the ID. The landlord and the customers had great fun with that one for quite some time.
calculus_was_tough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came in to return a mini space heater. I scanned his receipt but it said he'd already returned it. When I told him, he pulled out a stack of receipts and says he's bought this heater seven times because none of them worked and I should try scanning another one. I stupidly said "Why do you keep it buying it then, if it never works?" He went into a rage about how I need to stop asking so many fucking questions and it's none of my damn business and I need to just do my fucking job.
DeviousDom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I shouted FUCK YOUโRE STUPID MOTHER unprovoked into his face and casually walked out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a hotel. Last summer I had this lady come in- super needy, basically expecting 5 star full staff service from a 3 star hotel with one guy working front desk overnight.
She had asked a lot of questions about parking, which I had tried to answer as politely as possible, then she needed me to let her in the back door even though her key opens it.
I tried to ask very politely, "were you able to figure out a parking spot?"
Instead my mouth said, "Were you able to figure out how to park?"
Thankfully being a rich bitch she heard what she wanted anyway, which was apparently something to the tune of, "we cleared out a parking spot."
theycallmejob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This happened the other day. I bartend at an exclusively touristy restaurant. I was wicked busy between the bar being 2 deep and doing service orders. While at the service station making several cocktails at once a woman who was probably in her 60s but very attractive for her age asked me how long I'd been working there. I told her almost a decade and she told me that she didnt think i was that old...I responded that she didnt look as old as she was either...and slunk away avoiding eye contact until she left
sandiegoking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sell TV's and an older man, maybe late 60's was buying one. I asked if was interested in our 5 year warranty and gave the little spiel. He said I won't be around that long. So I jokingly said "oh don't say that, you look spry". He said no, I have terminal cancer.... finished up is paper work with out another word. Had no idea how to handle that.
reejimusprime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a front end supervisor at a big box hardware store, I was on my way down to the lumber registers and noticed a large line, which meant I had to hop on a register myself. Guy at the back of the line stops me and explains how we need to get some help around here, this line is too long, on and on. I explain that is exactly what I'm doing and that I can't force people to show up for their shifts. He ends up coming to the second line I just opened up, and keeps on bitching as if that 2 minutes he waited to check out was the worst thing that had happened to him in his life. Still repeating that we need to hire people around here as if I have control over that, or even my bosses (they dont.) He finally gives me the classic "this never happens at (competitor)" and still drones on, making the people wait behind him. I had enough and just told him "best I can tell you is to just go to (competitor.) Its not my fault that everyone decided to check out at the same time, nor can I control staffing. I'll see you in here next week" He just walked out at that point, steaming and cussing from pure anger.
cole93747 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Happened just today. My manager and was behind the register while I was hanging some clothes right next to the register. She made small talk with the customer (mother, father, college daughter), and they got onto the topic of the family being from Rhode Island. I blurted out that, due to a personal experience from online gaming, I never wanted to visit that state. The mother responded with, "Well, I'm in Oklahoma." I'd already been kinda rude, but my stupid fucking brain hit autopilot, so I blurted out, "I didn't ask you to be here."
THANKS BRAIN. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT.
Rudest thing I have EVER said to a customer, and I'm a friendly worker. I don't know what fucking happened to me. I've been pretty off all day, too.
So sorry to you, ma'am. Worst part is that it didn't click in my mind how rude I just was by saying that until they had been gone 5 minutes. Never apologized. I feel so bad.
neilsunnyside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a pharmacy as a technician and a lady who was a regular came to pick up her prescription. While retrieving her meds I noticed her husband also had one ready so I asked if she also wanted to pick his up. She questioned what it was and after the routine hippa verification questions I let her know it was viagra. She immediately got pissed and told me that they havenโt had sex in years so why is he getting that. Several weeks later she came back and told me she had filed for a divorce because he was cheating on her for a long time. I guess I donโt feel bad it happened but I definitely feel weird knowing that I broke up a marriage.
Wtfisgoingonandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Plumber here, was doing service for a company and got called out to the aboriginal community in town. This place is owned by this old guy. Everytime I go there he is always Nickle and diming. So I had just finished up clearing this lady drain and she asked if I could take a look at her sink upstairs. Get up there take a look around. There is a cracked trap adapter which is kinda a huge issue. I report this back to the customer and say "I would be able to fix this today I just need to get authorization from your cheapo landlord." go back out to my truck and I get a quote together for her. This black Subaru pulls into the driveway of this place and who walks out but the cheapo landlord. I get back in there and it was super embarrassing. Apparently that was his daughter.
mewpac_shakur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to sell dresses for special occasions. A girl with very bright red dyed hair came in looking for a grad dress. I suggested we look at gem tones like deep green and blue to compliment her red hair. Her mom points at a bright red dress and I say something along the lines of โred might clash with her hair colourโ. The girl turns around with a sad face and I notice the armful of bright red dresses she was carrying. I felt awful.
kittenattack776 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a haunted house. My character is not nice and very insulting. Customers are very aware of what they're in for and they enjoy getting lippy back. Well my very first year some high school girl was talking all big and I told her to get moving. She or one of the other kids said "you're not my mother!" And I completely in character said "if I was I'd have killed myself by now". They all dropped their jaws and promptly did what they were told and continued. Found out the main girl I was talking to's mother had actually just committed suicide a couple weeks before...
GatoPajama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer is walking up and down the grocery store isles looking for something, looking frustrated.
โCan I help you find something, sir?โ
Customer turns around. It was a masculine looking woman.
I walk away before she can see my face or name tag.
andreagean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โYour product is like a sinking ship with holes. We can help plug those holes and keep you afloatโ... I wasnโt thinking when I said it.
MichellefromHeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at Build a Bear this 5 year old kid repeatedly kept asking me questions. I'm not the best with kids (ironic considering where I worked) so I assumed the woman that was with him was him mom. I told him "why dont you ask your mom about buying this bear?" And he told me "my mommy died and my daddy is in jail so my nana takes care of me." Safe to say I never assumed the relationship of a child to an adult after that.
V3RV1C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady paid for shredded mulch bags and we only had nuggets because it was the last day of the sale. She was pissed and demanded I load her vehicle with the shredded mulch to which I replied "Well, I can't just make it magically appear!"
She froze for about 5 seconds when a co worker stepped in and broke the silence offering to help her get a refund.
She didn't tell my manager and I didn't get in trouble, but I regret saying it because I sounded so ... sassy and condescending lol.
SteelFuxorz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was drunk at a bar with friends and said to one of the girls, talking about pool, "time to spank that ass all over this table."
Right in front of my fiance.
wrenchtosser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In college I had a internship with senator Russ Feingold. At the same time I was working full time at an auto parts store. One day when answering the phone at the senator's office it happened, I couldn't tell my worlds apart and I said "Bumper to Bumper, can I help you?" and of all the damn luck it was Feingold's office manager calling to check in on things.
IslamMeansGoatFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I was cashiering a woman in line asked the woman in front of her how many months pregnant she was. She said she wasn't pregnant. She leaves and I say, "It's okay ma'am, I thought she was pregnant too!" Then I turn to see the not pregnant woman had forgotten one of her bags... and she heard me. Rekt. In my defense, you shouldn't be that fat.
gobogobo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late, this'll be buried. I'd worked doubles and was so tired and burned out. A customer asked if we did Buy one get one. ... Uh yeah. So I ring up her items and she asks again about the buy one get one since she was being charged for 2. "Yeah, if you buy one.. you get one... Cause that's what you bought. " She wasn't happy. I wasn't happy.
Quankers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a sandwich artist. I worked with a guy named Libby who had spent about a year in the slammer for a drug fueled police chase and take down. Libby was addicted to opiates which stemmed from a broken arm and a prescription, and a generally wild lifestyle to begin with.
When I worked with him he was addicted to heroin and frequently going through withdrawl at work. We got along surprisingly well and one thing he and I both despised was when customers would come up and dismissively refer to either one of us as 'boss.'
"Hey, boss, how much for a hot dog?" said one goof.
I said something like, "We don't sell hot dogs."
As the goof shrugged and started walking away, Libby put his arm around the goof's shoulder and nonchalantly walked with him to the door. When he came back he said he told the goof not to call him boss again. One of many general crazy moments with him that somehow never amounted to anything more than a lecture from a manager. Still he shouldn't have done that, but I am happy he did. I miss Libby.
lifesahoot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Without someone else's dick in it?
YellowPalindrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in fast food. A woman came to the counter wearing a necklace with a large, flecked, purple amulet. It caught my eye and I thought it was pretty, so I said, "I like your necklace!"
She said, "Thanks, it's my husband's ashes."
One_Ders ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I worked at a call center. We had scripted lines for everything. Itโs so scripted you go full autopilot. One time, as I was about to get off a call, I was texting my then GF (now wife). We get to then end and instead of say โThank you for calling XXX Iโm glad I was able to resolve your issuesโ I simply said โGreat! Love you byeโ took me 2 seconds to realized what I said. I panicked and hung up (which is a no no, too) I look around left to right and meet eyes with my cube mate and I hear a โ...I love you bye?โ
myfapaccount_istaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Have a few
First week on the phones for a cell company lady wanted her termination fee waived.
My trainer was ready to take the call. But it worked I deescalated it. I was proud I new our terms he was mortified I told a customer it stone face.
Dead silence, then mass crying, then I went home for the day because I was in shock.
wilwats11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at chick fil a in the mall and I randomly sang the lyrics to survivor by destinys child to a co worker. I gave him his food and he called me jerk and snatched the bag out of my hand. Friend told me he had on a cancer survivor tshirt.
vote4boat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a sushi place
"Forks are for forks"
goblinqueenac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Well maybe if you paid your bill, your service would not have been suspended."
Yeah, I got fired that day. But silver lining! I got rehired for $11 more an hour at head office a year later as a supervisor.
AryaDanger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Olive Garden and a couple said they didn't want cheese and my natural respond was to question why they didn't like to party.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a cashier at a grocery store. On the conveyor belt once there was a Pepsi, followed by bleach. Now usually, when there is a drink we ask "would you like the drink left out?".
Dumb ass me picks up the bleach and says "would you like your drink left out?". Instant regret. This was around the whole Amanda Todd situation so bleach drinking was on everyone's mind.
Customer leaves the store without buying anything, and later my manager asks me what I was thinking. I explained what happened, and I already had a pretty good track record with my manager so I got off alright. NEVER made the same mistake again, and still have the job.
chesterdjester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ive never regretted anything Ive ever said to a customer. My management may have regretted it.
cattycathy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Old habits die hard! I was a hostess for a restaurant when I was 16 and at that time we had smoking and non-smoking sections, so Iโd always ask โSmoking or non?โ Fast forward a few years (smoking in restaurants had since been prohibited) and I started bartending at a different restaurant. We were short a hostess for a night so I picked up the shift to help out. I had not been a hostess for over 5 years, I had completely forgotten that smoking was even a thing in restaurants. But of course, out of habit.. the very first thing that came out of my mouth after asking how big the party was, was โSmoking or non?โ The customer gave me a weird look and said, โI donโt think you need to ask that anymore.โ I instantly apologized and I know my face turned completely red. My manager witnessed the whole thing and we had a good laugh about it afterwards but wow, was it embarrassing at the time!
DarksideLolita ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady I was fairly close too in the store I work at saw that Iโve been gaining a lot of weight lately and said โwow youโve gained weight and youโre so pret-โ and I quickly cut her off and said โthanks, you gained weight tooโ
Iโm still upset at that...
PM_ME_YOUR_PORTRAIT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I cashiered for a lady holding a baby in one arm and at the end she loaded all the grocery bags on the other. I said, "you need another arm," laughing, and was confused when she shot me a look. She turned to leave and I saw her baby only had one arm..
Briggatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a KFC/A&W joint for my first job. Couldnโt have been more than my fifth day and this really awkward girl comes in. Iโm 16 at the time and think sheโs cute af. And better, she has an accent!! So I ask where sheโs from? And she insists sheโs from here. I insist she has a great accent and I must know where itโs from! She didnโt have an accent. She had a birth defect and a lisp. Itโs been 7 years and that shame still burns my soul.
elba-becerril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady screaming about her phone not working (she had an old copper line that was beyond repair so they are installing fiber optic line in 2 days, at 0 cost to her) she doesn't have her account information so if I cannot verify it cannot see any information or make any changes to help her. She stopped for a second to catch her breath and says, "oh this is not about you, it is the company's fault" to what I reply "... Well I'm the one you are screaming at!, have you thought about that?" She then resumed her yelling now directly at me
Aubrey7406 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had pretty much the same. Woman yelling, "I'm not mad at you I'm mad at 'Cellphone company' but I have to take it out on somebody." Legit one of the biggest assholes I've ever had the displeasure of assisting.
elba-becerril ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the beginning she was trying to get some empathy/pity with the classic "I'm old and live alone" bullshit by the time that call was over I knew why, crazy old bag
arkady_darell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โTHATโS MY TIT, BITCH!!!โ
comedian42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for a large chain restaurant in a small city (50k). One woman lost her mind because she had to wait 2.5 minutes for her order at the drive thru window. She ordered more food than the press could hold and they take over a minute each.
Said she was going to take her business to the competitor (other identical store) down the road. I looked her dead in the eyes and said "ma'am, they have the exact same owner."
I was always known for being overly friendly to even the worst customers, so I think management was just too shocked to berate me for it.
vks0217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidently said "Enjoy the rest of your life" instead of "Enjoy the rest of your day" to a kind elderly customer
canadianJaybird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: "did you say "rubbish, garbage?"... you can have my wife"
Me: "I didn't say trash"
Kalytastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a store that sold video games. Some parents came in to buy a copy of GTA5 for their 10 year old son. They said that he had played it over at a friend's house and now wanted a copy, but they were concerned because of its rating. They wanted to know how bad it was. I told them it was pretty mature. They said they didn't care about some aspects of "mature" such as violence or stealing cars, but I said it went way beyond violence and that I wouldn't recommend it for anyone that young.
Still they were not convinced, so I had to lay it out for them straight. I took them aside, and I told them (very quietly) that you can get a nice car and go to certain parts of town where you can pick up a hooker, then take her to an alley and after she does her thing, which you at least partially witness, you can then follow her after she gets out of the car, hit her with a bat until she falls down, then take your money back. I held off from saying "that isn't nearly as bad as the torture scene."
Suffice to say they did not buy the game that day and decided to have a word with the parents of their son's friend.
VeritasWay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working a massage booth at a health convention and was in charge of line management. I directed the next women in line to the chair for pregnant women. She responds with "I'm not pregnant".
๐
micvac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker was cleaning up an ilse in our grocery store and he overheard a costumer ask another employee where the dattes were.
To which my friend, from the other end of the ilse (about 8 meters or 24ish feet), basically screamed "they're in the calendar!" Both the employee and the costumer wanted to end him.
Tl;dr: my friend made a pun about dattes and the calendar.
I apologize if there are any spelling errors anr other errors, english is unfortunately not my first language.
Sarcastic_pizza ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I work for a food ware house and rarely have to deal with customers, but they ask me to help out the delivery drivers fairly frequently and I agree because it's a pretty great break from the warehouse. The one downside is having to deal with chefs when there order's been fucked up.
Any way one time a chef was going through and checking his order, pretty standard because shit happens. When he goes to inspect a block of cheese he spots a spot of mould smaller around than a pencil, and starts complaining as if it's my fault (cheese is the fridge I worked freezer, besides he didn't know I was from the warehouse). At the end of his first rant which was about 10 minutes long he asks me what he's supposed to do about it, my response was to just cut that bit out. That was my first "I should not have said that" moment.
The second moment happened after a second rant this time closer to half an hour and involved a lot of insults and me barely being able to get a word in. Eventually I got fed up and said "you look cute when your angry". You know that face people make when they are pissed but you've done something to make them laugh and they're trying to hold it back, that's the face I got from him before walking away. At that point I basically knew or though I knew I was going to get fired.
The best part my boss thought it was fucking hilarious and bought me a case of cider.The chef was an asshole and a bully and that (and his staff nicknaming him cutie) apparently knocked him down a peg because he was more polite after that.
TL;DR: called angry chef cute, thought I would get fired, boss rewarded me with booze
yellowstag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โI donโt feel like I have an attitudeโ oh man you bet I knew what I said tho
danzerdude10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Retail worker here in the busiest store in the mall. It was the holidays, so extra amped. Iโm multitasking with two different customers and a third customer happens to catch me as I walk away for a minute to go grab something. Obviously a little flustered, I tell her Iโm already working with two people and then point at my coworker across the room, who appears to be available. Me, trying to sound playful, but coming out sarcastic af: โSee that guy over there? Go bug him.โ
Yeah. She did not like that
sugar0coated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm British, was working in a McCafe in Australia. Spilt boiling water on my hand and on instinct gasped 'argh bloody hell bollocks!' in pain.
Despite the injury, I was most concerned that the customer that heard me was going to tell my boss and have me sent home/possibly sacked for swearing in front of her. Instead, she burst out laughing, said it was the most British thing she'd ever heard and that she was going to use that phrase in conversation from now on.
Aside from the burn blister for a week after, it went pretty well.
whatsinthesocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working at best buy covering the asset protection guys lunch. Mainly you great customers and watch the cameras. A couple walks in and I go to "Hey folks how are you doing today?" Only I said "Hey fucks how are you doing today?" I froze knowing what I said. They froze comprehending what I said. I had know idea how this was going to turn out. Luckily they just started laughing. Stopped using folks after that
FeverishDreamer13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Everything after hello,which is why i quit customer service. They truly don't love hearing the truth...๐
phil2210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working a busy Friday night at one of those build-your-own pizza places. I was the guy who got the pizzas as they came out of the over and cut them, added any sauce or arugula at the end, and then shouted out the name of the pizza whose it was.
I always tried to be able to make small talk here and there for people waiting nearby or regulars I had made friends with, but sometimes there really wasn't much of a second to spare. During a particularly bothersome and busy night a customer came up a few times within a minute to complain that his pizza wasn't out yet.
He exclaimed, "...and now my wife is sitting there eating while I am waiting!" To which I replied quickly without thinking. "I don't give a shit." Luckily my manager knew the stress of the night and I was just sent home for the night, but I remember the immediate feeling as I said the words.
wirWarKonigeMann ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
called him a fucing cuck and told him to submit a new ticket
Synyster328 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a store manager at a phone store, customer getting a new phone said they don't need a screen protector this time since they've never broken one before.
I said "Just because you've never gotten pregnant doesn't mean you stop using condoms."
One of my employees just turned and looked at me, then we all observed a moment of silence.
ididntwinthelottery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a furniture store. A guy with an eye patch came in and was browsing around. I asked him if he was looking for anything in particular or did something catch his eye.
blondibooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in the โgourmetโ section of a dept store. A customer came in looking for a round cake pan in a specific size, which I was out of stock in. I knew that more stock was coming in, so I let the customer know that โIโm sure Iโll get that 9โ one in for you real soonโ.
OsKarMike1306 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gas station employee here. We have a recycle bin for cans and beer bottles that people can just drop off when they hoard a few of their finished beverages and get a few cents. It's pretty simple and since it's rarely more than a case or a small plastic bag, we have to count them whenever they come in requesting their change. If they have a significant amount of cans/bottles, there's a grocery store next door that has a machine to count it, which is where we direct them when we see cars pull up with 20 cases of beer and 10 bags of miscellaneous cans. They're rarely happy about it.
Anyways, there was this monumental prick who came in at 3AM, on a bike, real hobo looking, with a hitched trailer containing 3 full industrial size garbage bags of cans. Comes in, says he has 20$ worth of cans (I can't just take his word for it at this point, it's a significant amount) and after a good 15 minutes of arguing, I decide to make him waste his time like he's wasting mine and go about to count close to 300 cans one by one.
I'm fuming and honestly pretty tired of his shit when he drops this sarcastic gem: "Does it take a degree to work in gas station ?"
I automatically reply, without thinking for a second: "Does it take a degree to pick up cans to pay for booze ?"
He didn't say a single word afterwards and I never saw him again. Fucking asshole...
fiendswithbenefits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mine was why are people on reddit obsessed with people in the service industry.
matchles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I was working at a movie theater in the box office. The manager was making us push these $1 donations for some charity, where you place your name on a star and it is hung around the theater. A customer asked me what they are for. I said, "I don't know I think it helps starving orphans or something." The customer says, "oh well you're going to make me feel bad for not buying one." And I just shot back, "well if you want to feel bad, if you buy a star we save an orphan, if you don't we kill one." All of a sudden I hear "WHAT?!?" Turns out the manager was in the adjacent counting room the entire time. I shouted, "it's okay, he's laughing and he just bought one."
Grimcupcake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady who must have called the hotel 5 times in 2 hours confirming and reconfirming the price..I told her everything about paying including the deposit for cash. She came in with no deposit and proceeded to flip out that I wouldn't rent her a room without it, saying I never told her that it was required blah blah blah and then at 2am she wants to talk to the manager. Well technically at night the auditor is default manager to our place mainly because the manager is also a college student and the owner a older man..neither want to be woken at 2am for stupid stuff..so I said "I'm the manager and its too late for this grifter shit so get out of my lobby before I call the police and have you removed."
I got my first personalized bad review and my manager thought it was hilarious
HazardSuitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for my dad's computer repair company. Geek Squad before Best Buy made it a nationwide service. We had been working with this woman for, as I recall, two weeks. Making multiple trips out to her home to try and diagnose an ongoing issue with her computer. I was a teenager, probably 17 at the time. And after two weeks we finally figured out the problem (I have no memory of what it was.)
She was a kind woman, a bit odd, and she said something like "Well, hope to see you soon!" Joking as I'd been to her house like 5 times in the last two weeks. And I, being the witty and genuinely trying to be witty in response says, "Well, I hope I never see you again!"
She never called us for computer support again. I tell myself it's because she never had troubles again, but I have to think my joking response did not land and if a serviceman said that to me now that I'm a grown adult - I probably wouldn't call them back either.
TheTriMara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady came in with a cracked screen starting from impact point. Clearly dropped. Started demanding a new free screen protector when I said no she demanded to know what she could do about it.
Don't drop it was apparently the wrong answer.
deadbeatbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A couple was dining on our patio and the woman waved me over. She pointed out that there was an ant in her mac and cheese. It was clearly not something that came from our kitchen, as it was still alive and walking across a noodle. I told her, "It probably fell out of the sky."
xhaydnx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I๏ธm a cashier and a man on the larger side was coming in the weekend after Thanksgiving buying lots of Tupperware and I๏ธ asked, โare those for the leftovers?โ And he replied that they were for meal planning. I๏ธ felt horrible for the rest of the week and now rarely engage in conversation unless they start it first.
Eriflee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Client: My CEO's name is Brad
Me: B. R. A. T?
Client: NO!
Halomir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โWell, Rob. Youโre putting me in a tough position, because you know what I have to say and I know that wonโt fix the problem. Itโs like when youโre wife walks in and asks you if the jeans make her look fat. Thereโs only one right answer. You donโt even have to look. So can I say the right thing and promise to get it done as fast as possible?โ
I think you all see where I went wrong here
Stazelney ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a server when I walked up to a table eating lunch and heard mid-sentence "So that's why my wife was chewing ice" to which my immediate response, like a reflex almost "Oh for sexual frustration?" The entire table of co-workers that weren't already listening, whipped their heads around and stared at me like I had just insulted his dead mother. He explained that she was pregnant and it was a sign of some sort of vitamin deficiency. Small tip from that table.
iesma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call centre for a water company and used to have a lot of challenging calls from people disputing their bill.
One day I had a particulaly difficult one, and for whatever reason I couldn't keep a lid on my frustration so let out a very audible 'Jesus fucking christ'.
There was a slight pause, then '...what?'
Then my fumbling panicked apology, 's-sorry, uhh...'
Then 'I think I'd like to speak to your manager RIGHT NOW.'
Thought I was getting fired that day, suddenly pictured myself jobless and unable to pay rent, sweated and worried for five minutes while the manager handled the call, but in the end managed to get by with a fairly severe warning.
cat_barf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm late but thatโs okay bc Iโll probably get shit for โbeing racistโ. I worked at a store that had a lot of stolen credit card theft and a lady was trying to buy a few couple hundred dollar gift cards, but couldnโt speak English so was having a hard time communicating. She handed me her credit card which read โBarbara Jackson*โ (not jackson but similar generic last name in America). I said โMaria! This isnโt your card!โ. I was high af. Idk why I said it. (To clarify it indeed was not her card, but why I called her Maria I donโt know.) I am a terrible person. TL;DR: called a Hispanic lady Maria and accused her of credit card theft
AuntJemima1893 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of you guys pride yourself at being awful at your jobs. Crazy I've never had customers say "I'm never coming back" in my store.
phDinastrophysics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time when i was a waiter I had a customer order rye toast but I accidentally got him sourdough. He asked me to get him the right toast. I was upset since he said quote " i ordered rye". Never once said sorry to be a bother, didn't say please , nothing. So i said fuck off. I ended up being sent home for a week and then I came back. I saw that customer again a few weeks later. He ordered sourdough that time, but he was kinda meanmugging me the whole time , probably because he was embarassed about how rude he was last time. So I was a little upset so I told him I ducked his mother. I regret saying that because his mom was a notch or two below me in the looks department so i wanted to keep that on the down low.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked as a cashier at my local supermarket. I was checking out a young guy who was around my age (17) so I didnโt give him the usual bull shit speech โhi welcome to X do you have an Xcard any coupons or rain checks?โ Instead just said how โya doingโ whatever. Well the next customer after him was an old lady but because i was just talking to the young customer casually I kind of forgot about being proper and when the old lady walked up I said โWhatโs goodโ she looked at me perplexed and I just tried to act like I didnโt just say that. Lmao
CactusLmao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a car maintenance shop and one time a customer came is with his son. We had finished working on their vehicle and they were checking out. Sometimes when someone is in with their kid i like to make the joke โoh so your the one driving home huhโ to younger kids. Well, i did this and he actually took the keys because he actually had dwarfism and i assumed he was just a kid
CorEclypsys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at what is basically a greek chipotle. The other day a blind woman came in. She was with a group of other people. I guess she was newly blind and this was an activity for helping her learn and all that.
Stupid me didn't notice that she was blind, even though she had the cain. Instead, because of her disheveled look and the fact that she wasn't looking at me, I assumed that she was autistic. So I continue on with my normal speal just a little louder and slower than normal, saying basically "I can make a Pita or a Bow for you, they both come with everything you SEE here and down the line".
I waited for a few minutes thinking she was building up the courage before her helper asked her if she heard me and then told me I needed to describe the food to her. I was so embarased and apologetic.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember working drive through at McDonald's. Graveyard shift, huge line, the usual. Well, this one lady was taking a while with her order at the window (trying to make sure everything was correct etc) and the guy behind her starts honking and shit. I lean out the window, "patience is a virtue, sir" and continue with the lady I was helping. He was less than pleased when he got to my window.
caffeinedrinker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some lady was after cheese biscuits, I said the crackers are on the top shelf, she turned around and said 'Crackers don't you call me crackers.' and promptly left never to return.
i_need_booty_pics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am a server. Had a guy order Jack and Coke. I told him we were currently out of Jack and asked if I could get him something else instead. He responded with, "Well, maybe something on the free side?" "So, water?" He didn't find that funny and I wasn't tipped.
slothingitup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
ฤป
Lallo-the-Long ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer buying coffee that I'm a drug dealer, so everyone is always happy to see me. She did not understand I was referring to caffeine.
Two_Pinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at Sports Authority during the liquidation two summers ago. The store was at 70-80% discount on everything and our policy at that point was absolutely NO returns. All items sold were final. This policy was noted and posted all over the store. A lady tried to return some things that she had bought a day before. She did not check our signs/updated policy and I assume she wasnโt listening when her cashier the day before told her the mandatory spiel of how there were no more returns. I told her that she couldnโt return anything multiple times. she said โthis is ridiculous. this is why you guys are closing. I want to speak to your manager. Young man, treating me like this is how you get firedโ. She said this in the most uppity, self righteous tone Iโve ever heard. My reply was โLady, weโre goddamn closing. There are fucking signs everywhere that say all sales are finalโ. Iโve never heard an entire department store get so fucking quiet. My manager let me close out the week and then let me go. I needed the money that summer, but it was worth it. Fucking bitch ass thot.
Jakob4800 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I answer phones as a customer service agent for work and sometimes when im bored and i have a particularly annoying customer I say that ill transfer them to my manager... i just put them on hold and then talk to them in a south African accent
SadQueen97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a cashier in the UK. English isn't my first languange. I was really tired that day and I miscalculated the change. I then realised my mistake and gave the correct change. Customer made a joke about it and I said 'yeah I can't really count'. Fml
janaynaytaytay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in affordable housing so I deal with a wide array of people everyday. I have on particular resident who just complains endlessly about everything. We require households to do a recertification every year. This consists of completing about 6 pages of paper. Every page she would groan and complain about how awful this was for her. I said, "its only 6 pages of paper. I do this with 120 households every year. I'm sure you'll manage." she replied really snarky like and said "yeah well you get paid for it." to which I replied "and you get rent at a fraction of the price. I'm sure other people would love to take your spot if these 6 prices of paper are truly too much for you to endure." She was not pleased and complained to my boss that I'm unhappy.
tschuebel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not at work but called out to my neighbor HELL ON WHEELS,,,,,,shes ina wheelchair for the rest of her life
asf3trw35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were building a deck. I had just finished hanging the stairs when the housewife came out and asked me if they were sturdy. They were the first stairs I'd ever done and I was pretty self conscious about it, so I started babbling about how they're probably pretty stable "but I wouldn't drive a truck up them."
GinnyTuna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working the cash register at my retail job. Customer was complaining about a return and the way prices were coming up. I pulled out a paper and started drawing to help explain. I tried everything I could think of and explained multiple ways. Customer finally looks at me all grumpy and asks 'but why is it x amount?' I just stared at them straight faced deer in headlights and replied 'because math?'
Luckily they were annoyed enough to just let me finish the transaction and leave and didnt bother complaining to a manager.
DanielTrebuchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked customer service for a home food delivery company; there were only a few of us in the department. Well, we had this adorable blind customer that everyone in the office knew. She'd call in a couple times a week and we could all recognize her voice immediately, and we all knew her usual order.
Well, one day she calls in and gets one of the other girls in the office. They have the normal conversation then the blind customer asks "how can I tell when my lettuce goes bad?" To which the CS rep responded "how do you know when it goes bad? Uh... when it turns brown??"
It took all of two seconds before she realized her error and then she looked absolutely mortified. The customer laughed it off, but that didn't stop the barrage of apologies.
MundaneMonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Last summer I worked at a summer camp and for some reason I was trying really hard to get into the good graces of this lady who had an autistic grandson. The boy wanted one of the binoculars other kids had made and there were some leftover that kids forgot to take home, so when he grabbed one and his grandma was like: [name] put that down, it's not yours!
I said "Oh, he can have it. Yeah those kids aren't coming back to get them.
Then as the kid and his grandma were walking out the door, another kid suddenly shot up and wailed "[NAME] THAT'S MIIIINE! Give it back!"
The grandma proceeded to give me the dirtiest look.
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Previously working for a small town Police in very bad weather, myself and new colleague were on foot patrol in the snow. We came across a road blocked with a massive snowball outside a "popular" house. Two of the local dickheads were jeering out the window about their hilarious creation.
We knew that we would get a call any minute to go and "assess" the situation, so we were like "this ain't gonna shift itself". I went a few doors down to borrow a shovel to start hacking away at it. Took us a few minutes, but my colleague was like "where are we gonna dump this snow/ice?".
We didn't want to block the pavement so i was like "dump it in their driveway, they did it". My very young in service colleague for some reason picked up a slab pretty much her own body weight, god knows how she lifted it, and then shotput it at their front door. The ground/house shook as it bounced off.
KA-BOOOOM!!
Now, this wasn't advisable of course, but i must admit this gave me two thoughts: "That's hilarious" and "this is gonna cause some shit".
The grandparents came out (his parents were in jail/crackheads/whatever), kicking off, effing and jeffing, so after a few minutes of back and forth, his granny goes:
"I know you've got it in for Jason..." (I worked in this bad area all the time so i was well known). I had dealt with them for breach of bail a few nights prior, with similar results from the granny about "how he's not allowed in his own house even on bail, he wasn't even outside wozzie?!". I informed her i found him around the corner in the park a few minutes before, thus breaching the bail). The park was not inside their house as you can imagine.
Anyway, without hesitation, i didn't even think about the reply and blurted out: "I've got it in for all of them!".
What I meant was obviously "him and all his criminal little friends", but it could have been misconstrued I know. Sometimes you tell the truth more by freely associating things than thinking about it...
artmobboss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
brilliant...
WrathChild94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a library and in the front of our building is a little store that sells books that we withdraw and donations that we can't or don't want to use. About once a month they do 50% off sales. One morning right at open a woman walks up and asks me about the book sale. I tell her it's going to be in the little shop at the front of the library and point at it. She then starts complaining "Well the doors are locked and the flier says 10 am". I assure her that they're probably just running late, they should be open any minute now. She keeps complaining and I had had a long night with my kids and am in no shape to deal with this crap right at open and I just tell "Well I don't run the bookstore so I don't know what to tell you." She just looked kind of shocked and walked away, it really didn't sound that bitchy in my head but after she walked off I realized I shouldn't have said that. She didn't complain or anything, but that is the rudest I've ever been to a customer
Got2Go ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a call center taking calls for people whos accounts were migrating from an old computer system from a bought telephone company into the new systems. A customer started threatening me over a few dollars on his bill..
"Sir do you have any idea where i am?" "Uh no" "Well i know exactly where you are, i know all your phone numbers, several credit card numbers and your social insurance number"
I was pulled into a meeting for that one but my team lead understood why i said it after listening to the call himself.
BigDickBastard69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol worked graveyard at waffle house and an irate customer was drunk as shit and wanting to fight. At this point I'm fed up, fuck it I say, let's go out side. He walks out and mean mugs the shit out of me thru the window and I walk to the door and casually lock it. His demeanor shifted so fucking quick when he saw me get on the phone. Cops love waffle house tho and I never saw him again. And I got a fat tip. All is well.
majicebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"What can I get for you, sir?"
...was a lady.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For all yโall mean customers like... why? You can get way further by talking and asking nicely. Everyoneโs a human lol
scaryghostkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a larger lady come up to me and ask where the capris were. I pointed her in the right direction and added โif you canโt find your size you can check the plus size too!โ She glared. I was mortified.
SalemWitchBurial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Here you go sir c:" to a lady wearing guyish clothes and sunglasses the first time I saw her until she took them off.
Soapedturbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I first started selling cars this lady walked onto the lot so I went to greet her and see what she was looking for. She was a twat right from the get-go, bitching about the vehicles and me and how I was so stupid for selling cars. Her son walked over to us and asked what was going on, she replied "Soapedturbo isn't being a very good salesman" To which I replied "And she's not being a very good customer".
She then told me "We'll go look at vehicles that we actually like." And I told her "If I was spending $40,000+, I wouldnt look at things I didnt like..." And followed up with "Don't dish it out if you can't take it..."
I got quite the glare before she stormed off. I think the son got a laugh out of it, though. I was expecting a phone call to the manager or a review on our site, nothing came of it, though.
PlusGoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a dvd rental store, (not a mom and pop shop by any means) but they was this customer that had apparently been coming in at least once a week since the store opened, so almost 10 years. My manager told me that she was one of their best customers at that store, and to do whatever I had to, to make her happy. But one day she came to my register to check out and she told me that she should have rental return credits, and I checked her account and she didnโt have any, so I told her โsorry maโam, it appears like you donโt have any.โ โOh thatโs not right. I know I have credits, I rented them last week, and returned them todayโ โWell you only get credit if you return them the next day, unfortunatelyโ โSince when? I want to speak to Anna (manager)โ So I called my manager out of the office to talk to her. I should also mention that no one really liked helping this lady because she felt like she was a king for being a customer for so long.
So my manger comes over, talks to her for a few minutes and calls me back over and says โthereโs nothing we can do for your credits, unfortunately.โ And she says thanks then my manager went back into the office and the lady starts giving me shit again about wanting free movies. She goes on this rant about shopping at the store before I was born, and howโs she had spent thousands of dollars there, blah blah blah. So 30 minutes into a transaction for 2 movies I just looked at her and said โlook lady, you donโt have credit, so do you want the movies or not?โ
She looked at me like I just killer her cat, like she was about to rip my head off, then just said โwow. Unbelievable.โ Then left.
I didnโt see her again for the rest of the time I worked there, but I guess she came in a few times.
Didnโt get fired. So thatโs a plus.
lissagirl147 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer called very upset after losing his phone in Vegas. Something expensive. I was getting the insurance information for him and without thinking said "I guess what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas huh?"
He was silent long enough for me to be worried. I was trying to think of a way to fix that when he told me I should chat with his wife as she said the same thing.
d0ntreadthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You data should be OK.
Should?!
GingazInParis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a Supermarket and was working in the pasta aisle one day, when a old lady with glasses came up to me with a list of every product in the store and the respective aisles for the items.
She said "Excuse me sir, can you help me, I can't read any of this, I'm blind"
I started to laugh because I thought that it was just her being funny about her eyesight and how poor it was.
Nope. She goes "No, no no no sir, I'm actually blind"
Sure enough I look up to a blank stare into the direct sunlight bearing down on the store.
They complained.
Zoro05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Driver was speeding through a parking lot and almost hit me while I was pulling up baskets. Not knowing his window was down I yelled โthis is a Fucking parking lot, not a race track!!โ He was so shocked he just stared at me while I walked away.
kjax016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a floral store at age 16. A man hands me a credit card to pay for the transaction. I read the name (it was clearly a women's name) and I say..."Excuse me sir, is this your wife's credit card?" Look up and notice that this person is in fact a woman. She responds with "No, this is my credit card". Foot in mouth.
acydetchx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to play fast and loose and say that students are like customers to a teacher. When I ws a student teacher I was doing my elementary school hours (my license is for secondary because Im very awkward with little kids as you'll see).
One kid, with no prompting at all, asked me "Do you have a father?"
My reply was "well, everyone has a father," because I'm an awkward son of a bitch and I meant that technically you'd need to have a father to have been born. Obviously this kids dad wasn't around, and on obviously he wouldnt get that I meant technically. Then I kind of froze up in horror at myself when I realized all this, so I had no follow up attempt to fix it. We both just sort of stared at one another.
TwentyfootAngels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is it too late for this? I was working at a coffee shop and they wanted us to advertise our new "flavor shots" for the coffees. So when my next customer came in, the computer prompted me to advertise it, so I asked the girl and her mom if she wanted a shot in her drink! The customers were horrified, the manager was furious, and it took me YEARS before I realized what I said. I was so young and stressed out that it didn't even cross my mind, but I immediately knew I somehow screwed up.
ManBearPig1865 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'd have plenty of these if I worked for a corporate store, but I'm lucky and work at a small family owned business with bosses that know me well enough to know that if I mouth off to a customer the customer probably deserved it.
I've told a few people to fuck off, kindly get the fuck out of my store, or shut the fuck up when it got to the point that they were irate and just looking for excuses to ask for money back, discounts, threatening someone who works for the company, threatening legal action, or just being miserable cunts. The idea that the customer is always right is one of the worst things for retail, all it does it encourage people to be self righteous assholes who think the world revolves around them and that they should be waited on hand and foot, which is what gave me such great pleasure in telling those people, after being completely polite for the duration of our conversation up to that point, to just fuck off.
There's two that stand out. First was the guy who legitimately wanted to fight me because I was unable to get a truck driver(not our company delivery truck, a 18 wheeler coming from the manufacturer to deliver goods to multiple retail stores) to stop and turn around to bring his special order goods back to the warehouse so he could receive a refund because he was having second thoughts five days after placing the order. He was convinced that I should be able to get a hold of the driver and became completely irate when I told him there's no possible way I can call him and even if I could there's no way he's going to turn around, this is the point he starts waving his hands around my face and decides to go for the poke in the chest. I was going to calmly tell him that I'd prefer he not touch me again, but of course mid sentence he goes for the poke again which was where I broke, told him to get the fuck out of my store because cops would be on the way if he touched me one more time and he'd have to deal with me in the meantime. His wife ended up coming by later that day to apologize for her husbands behavior.
The next was a woman who was trying to weasel her way into free product any way she could. Financed something and had it for about 9 months before she called us and claimed that she didn't like it and wanted to swap it out. At that point she's about 6 months past where our company policy(which she signed a copy of when she signed the invoice) would allow us to do anything and the product she bought was clearly marked closeout/as is(also clearly stated on previously mentioned invoice), I explain this to her but tell her I'll let my boss know and he may be willing to work with her, she's already complaining. After a couple conversations between her and my boss he actually decides to work with her, but when she comes in the store she's such a cunt that he just says he tried but he's afraid he can't help her. This starts a flood of phone calls and in-store visits where I'm listening/watching my boss(a man underserving of the abuse he was getting and who's too nice to tell the lady to get out) just get verbally beat down by a woman who's trying to take advantage of him. Eventually I had to step in and tell her that since she had threatened to pursue legal action that we would no longer be speaking with her, I was now filming the interaction, and that she needed to leave the premises immediately. This leads to her calling multiple times a day or having "her lawyers"(better know as her brother and sister) call the store, then going to the finance company and trying to get them to refund the money. The company she financed through sends a fax and lets us know the steps we need to take to ensure that there's no chargeback for the merchandise; we write a letter, make a phone call, and that's it, we're cleared.... until a month goes by and we get the same fax. Turns out there's no limit to the number of times a customer can attempt a chargeback, even if it's for the same reason and there's been no evolution in the matter, and the retailer has to write a new letter every fucking time she sends it despite the fact that it says the exact same thing about the company policy and the merchandise terms with a copy of the invoice where it's got her signature acknowledging the policy. We got one on or around the first of every month for months, then the store actually closed and reopened under a different owner and name but with the same address and numbers, and what do you know, we start getting calls from her and then faxes from the financing company.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in an airport, my area was incoming flights. There's a big queue for the Border Control Officers (people who check your passports) and an equally big queue for the machines that scanned your passports. One lady demanded she be allowed to go into the Border Control Officers queue, but I knew they weren't taking on any more customers, she insisted, and then I said something along the lines of "Well, you'll just to deal with it."
It was a hot day, and that area doesn't have any windows so I was in a bad enough mood without hundreds of people asking for special attention. But that really doesn't excuse my behaviour. So i'm sorry lady. I tried apologising back then but you weren't having it. Guess I'm the one who has to "deal with it" now. (In case you were wondering, no I didn't get fired)
N1ck1McSpears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a telemarketer and we were trained to mirror the customer. Basically if they were rude and shitty, we were taught to stand our ground and not cower. Anyway I called this guy and his kids were talking in the background. He unleashed this crazy cuss storm and I responded โyou talk like that in front of your kids?โ
I donโt regret it at all but I wanted to tell this story.
destro109 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a trampoline park for a while and would try to judge who I could mess with and couldn't. When kids came to the gate where I would tell them the rules before letting them on to jump, I would always ask "Do you know the rules?" Most would reply "Yes." without thinking so I always immediately followed with "Alright, tell me some." One kid was alone and I thought he was cool to be messed with and when he couldn't tell me any rules I continued with "Did you lie to me when you said you knew the rules?" all while smiling. Right then, he turned all red and looked down and I bent a little to see his eyes and they were welling up. I started profusely apologizing and saying I was totally joking and was going to let him on 15 minutes early and that it didn't matter he didn't know the rules etc... He hesitantly talks about how he's from Alabama and lying is taken super seriously there and I try my best to clarify I was joking with him. Manager comes up a few minutes later and asks why I was abusing some kid about not knowing the rules.
AwkwardnessIsAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
They forgot to grab drinks from the cooler, they left the counter without asking if I could hold on to their toy they were buying. I said "Don't worry, I'll keep the toy safe" trying to be nice but it came across as passive aggressive as hell. I'm very sorry customer.
Liptonst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We have a booth that's really small at my restaurant. My host sat people a smidge too big for it there and they asked to move. I said my routine joke "The booths are uneven so there's always one booth I have to sit the skinny people at!"
Except that's not the joke. I usually say skeletons or supermodels or ballerinas. Saying skinny was mortifying.
peepopowitz67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work IT at shitty MSP. So pretty much every day I don't lie to our customers to save the face of the company.
Xxshianne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Famous coffee shop known worldwide. Worked at a kiosk of the chain inside a grocery store so we always had middle aged men and women and they always cane in from open to close. A guy who claimed he was a regular came in and ordered two venti ice caramel macchiatos . Now some info about me at the time . 1) I had just started working there and was finished training but still not 100% confident 2) I was alone and coworker was on break. She had told me to page her if I needed help with anything. 3) I was alone for the first time in the kiosk when this occurred. So enter man. Immediately he noticed I'm new and became upset because I wouldn't know his order like my manager who worked almost every day of the week. He still decided to order and ordered the two drinks reluctantly because he didn't think I was capable (thanks dude) . I made them pretty decently quick and they were my favourite drink so I knew how to make them . I handed them out and called the drinks out to the man who came over and grabbed them in a huff and marched off to the side area to grab straws. THIS is when all hell broke loose. "WHERE ARE THE LARGE STRAWS " (to me) me : " Uh sorry I think we're all out. But, the flat lids work okay with the shorter straws so it should still be fine " man: "NO ITS NOT FINE, I WANT A REFUND AND I'LL GO TO THE OTHER (insert coffee shop)WHICH DESERVES MY SERVICE BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A DRINK AND THEY HAVE STRAWS THAT I DON'T HAVE TO BEND OVER IN MY CAR TO DRINK OUT OF". Me: " Okay that's fine sir, but I don't know how to give refunds..." and as I tried to explain to him I needed to call my coworker to help do the refund he blew up again and told me I'm worthless and he was going to sue me because I said I wasn't able to give him a refund . To be clear , I wasn't trained to give refunds yet because manager was not at work for the day and my coworker was supposed to be able to help me . As soon and this guy stopped going off about suing me I called my coworker practically in tears to come to help me and she helped him get his refund and i hid in the back of the kiosk avoiding eye contact with him and waiting for him to leave . I told her what had all happened and she told me if that ever happened again that the customer service desk deals with these types of customers and can do refunds so if I'm ever scared or flustered I can send them there where the ladies are super strong and fierce . So basically I forgot to mention there were no large straws and then miscommunicated that I couldn't give him a refund .
ChristineNoelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for a vacation rental company and we had this real peach of a lady check into a house a few weeks ago who bitched just to bitch. She called in 3 separate times to say 1. The garden was beautiful in the photos online but it clearly wasn't kept up and she was appalled (we are in the Pacific Northwest and it's winter...everything is still dead). 2. The patio furniture didn't have cushions and there was no propane for the outdoor fire pit (see point one...still winter which means rain. Lots of it) and 3. The house slept 4 but only had 3 dining chairs (two were in another room and just needed to be brought to the table)
I was calmly trying to answer her questions and explain why things were the way they were but she wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise - just kept interrupting every time I spoke. I finally had enough and said, "are you going to allow me to talk so I can offer solutions to your problems?"
I immediately regretted my word choice. I got a big, loud "EXCUSE ME?!???!" And a 5 minute tirade on how I don't know customer service and she can't believe I would talk to her like that. I just asked how I she would like me to rectify the situation but she didn't want to talk to me anymore. She hung up and we didnt hear from her the rest of the weekend.
I'm just waiting for that review to show up online....๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธ
Javimonsterjavi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The ice cream machine is working.
Logator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know Iโm late to the party and this will probably get buried but I delivered pizza for a summer and royally fucked up.
During a particularly busy rush we had phone calls coming in constantly. So after answering a few calls in a row, out of the corner of my eye I see a rather overweight guy, wearing a baseball cap with a buzzed haircut and some combat boots waiting to pick up his pizza.
I know we have a few pick up orders ready to go, so I asked him โexcuse me sir, what was the name on your order?โ And I look up from the computer screen where I had been placing the orders and finally got a good look at the โguyโ
Turns out itโs an overweight woman who is sitting in front of me, and the kicker you may ask? The baseball cap she had on has a pink ribbon on it and it says โbreast cancer survivorโ on it.
I wanted to die. Thankfully she handled my gaff with grace and was like โitโs maโam and I havenโt placed it yet.โ I stuttered out an apology and proceeded to feel my humanity shrivel up and die.
koltokolton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This older couple walked in, and I New right away to give the the senior discount.
They took their order, and by the end I did the senior discount without even telling them.
Then the women said, please add the old person discount, and I said,
โYEAH I KNOWโ
SAPHEI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a lady cussing me out over the phone because I couldn't break company protocol to fix a minor inconvenience for her.
I remained level-headed and professional until she started directing her insults at me rather than the company (saying things like, "Well, I guess you're a fucking robot just like your dumbass manager"), at which point I interrupted her, asking, "Ma'am, are you going to be providing me with a paycheck every two weeks if I get fired for helping you with your stupid little problem?"
She demanded that the call recordings be pulled, but instead I just sat the phone down on the desk and walked away until she hung up.
I didn't realize that my manager was standing right behind me for almost the entire conversation, but he didn't discipline me because the woman refused to be transferred to someone that had the authority to actually help her.
MrEfffff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got into the habbit of saying "Not for free" after anyone would tell me I suck. This almost always was friends, so it was funny (to me at least).
Que one day at work I was ringing up 2 attractive women. They jokingly asked for a discount or something stupid to which I replied I couldn't do that.
One of them told me I suck.
Habbit kicked in.
Face turned red.
MarilynSixx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working on a Saturday night at a small diner that loves their waffles, and a group of five or so drunk women (using that term lightly) comes stumbling in. They were rude, cursing loudly, and just being trashy. We get them to calm down and order.
The entire time I'm cooking, they are telling me how they want their food, and saying how they should have went to Ihop, yada yada. When they get their food (fucking sexy plates of food btw) the "ring leader" looks at me in a drunken disgust that only a bull can give at an oncoming train, and asked "Who taught you how to cook?"
I had had enough of their shit to begin with, and activated my (to my surprise) my trap card.
"Who the fuck taught you how to act in public?"
These chicks overall calmed down, ate, and left, but at the time I was mortified, but when manager caught wind of it we had a good laugh. I did have bathroom duty for my work week after that.
HoboDeadfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Video Warehouse years back, around the time the film Rocky Balboa was released on DVD.
During one customer's checkout they inquire about the new Rocky movie. Having only watched the first 3 films, admittedly, I explained I haven't seen it yet but if it were anything like the originals, it would be a good watch.
I figured why not follow up with a light joke saying something along the lines of, "Personally, nothing gets me more pumped than 80's montage scenes and working out, beating meat in a freezer." I didn't even catch it.
They left and my boss is standing next to me like a confused dog. "Did you really just say that?"
It was like that scene in Anchorman, "Go fuck yourself, San Diego".... except I kept my job.
Zosofreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working a cash register at a supermarket a number of years ago. It had been an extremely long day and I had had it. Young guy comes in with a young daughter.
Me: how are you mate? Him: don't you know you aren't allowed to say mate in the workplace anymore? Me: would you prefer me to call you sweetheart instead?
I've never seen someone go from cheerful to pissed off so fast. Daughter was in hysterics which only served to make the father more angry.
Luckily he didn't complain and I got no reprimand for this.
TerribleShiksaBride ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The time I accidentally said "Mom" instead of "ma'am" to a customer over the phone.
There was also the time I accidentally introduced myself, not with my own name, but the name of the coworker I'd just been talking to...
AverageCollegeMale ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This wasnโt me and it wasnโt to customer. It was a friend I was with and it was to a Waffle House waitress. We were leaving PCB in 2015 and going back to school. We stopped at a Waffle House to get breakfast. Our waitress was a lady in her early 30s, not cute, but not unattractive either. We had a friend, weโll call him Trey, who wanted to flirt with the waitress. Asked her her name, her age, told her she was attractive blah blah blah. Finally got to the point where he asked if she was married. She said no. He asked why not and she told us her husband was killed in Iraq. We all looked at her and then him and then put our heads down and started eating while he apologized. We all felt like shit when she told us that because he had pressed her so much.
silfverbullet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked a theme park as a ride operator. Little girl asked me if one of the mascots was going to sing her Happy Birthday and I said "No he's a dog, he can't talk" without even thinking about it. Whoopsie. Welcome to the real world, I guess.
Crypto4Homeless ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a question not a statement... In 1999 I was hired as assistant manager at Radio Shack. Second day on the job a very pretty young lady was flirting with me and I with her. It went on for over ten minutes before she bought her stuff. When I was through with her transaction I asked when she was due and the flirting and smiles were gone! Both the flirting and smiles were replaced with anger and a reply "I'm not pregnant a$$hole". I turned to the guy that hired me and asked who knew? He told me to take the rest of the day off. Needless to say I didn't spend it with the chubby pretty young lady I was just flirting wi!h
ejramos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not technically a โcustomerโ but itโll do. Iโm an army recruiter and was making phone calls one day. I already hate making phone calls but we get so many shitty responses from the people who actually pick up that when someone will actually talk we almost get shocked.
Iโd finally gotten some kid on the phone. Now realize that kids nowadays are completely out of touch with jobs and what life will be after school. We get people who would score single digits on the ASVAB (think scoring a 9 on the ACT) and tell me theyโre going to be nurses or engineers. Weโve gotten to be good about not just crushing them and telling them they canโt do it. So as I begin asking this kid what he wants to do after high school I am keeping that in mind.
He says he wants to be a correctional officer. To me, this is a terrible idea. COs in my state make like $30k, are surrounded by people who want to kill them, and have to deal with corruption in their workplace. Honest job for those doing it honestly, so I put that in my mind as I ask the kid why he wants to do that job. I figure heโs got a reason, right? Benefits, his friend is one, etc., but his response caught me off guard.
โIt seems like an easy job.โ
I basically guffawed and reply, โyouโre joking, right?โ
Dude hung up on me. I didnโt even try to call back.
blurrybob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer do the typical "oh that doesn't have a price so it's free" thing on me and when I just laughed continues and says "the customer is always right"
My immediate response was "the customer is always right only when they are actually right" and while handing him the properly priced item
Kaity-lynnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My restaurant has a policy that everyone in the party needs to be present to be sat (its great and I love this, even though it causes me to get yelled at every day). We also dont do reservations, we do call aheads. One day this lady calls, and completely looses it when i tell her that her while party needed to be there to get sat. Whatever. Shows up and is a complete pain from the beginning. Whatever, I deal with it everyday. Constantly coming up to the host stand to yell at me. I keep telling her sorry, its company policy, theres nothing I can do about it. Then when the rest of her party finally shows up, we're still waiting for one of the tables to get up (our restaurant has very few tables that seat 8, and they were all being used). She demands a manager, I call one over the walkie, he doesnt answer. She stands, her large mass blocking everything. I talk to customers around her. She keeps insulting me, mocking my customer voice. She finally yells "I told you I have a baby, why arent you seating me?!" I looked this woman dead in the face and reply "Yeah? So do a lot of people." She looses it, I leave someone else in charge of the host stand and fo find manager. He laughs, complements me, and goes to talk to the lady. If i had anyother manager, I probanly would have been instantly fired.
Clicker300768 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i was a server at a restaurant. 4 heavy set ladies came in. When I dropped the check off at their table they gave me the ol' "you arent picking up the tab?" Joke
Thinking I was being funny I said "aint nobody got enough money for that"
leannemitsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Canadian Tire (an outdoorsy/hardware type store) when I was about 14. It was Fatherโs Day so we opened early for some reason because of the sales. I was extremely exhausted, working the morning shift. The first customer of the day comes through to my register. I scan all his items, tell him his total, he hands me his credit card, and I tell him to have a nice day. Now that isnโt the part that has haunted me for the last 14 years. Itโs the fact that I swiped his card, bagged his items, got his signature, then handed him his stuff COMPLETELY SILENTLY. To this day I donโt know why the fuck I didnโt laugh it off and explain that I was really tired or something. I didnโt even say bye. Just smiled as he walked away confused. Fuck my life.
andhowsherbush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
where I was working there was a new temp and he started screaming at one of the full time workers to hurry up because she's a tiny old asian woman who moves very slow. at the next break I asked if she wanted me to go over and threaten the guy. she told the boss and I was fired on the spot.
Loves_me_tacos125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is pretty tame from others but I did get written up for it. So I work at a senior assisted living facility but it's an 'independent' kind where they basically are just rich and mean and don't give AF what they say/do to the employees who work there. Anyways, think of the movie Mean Girls when I tell you we have a table that's almost exactly like them except old. Unfortunately, I had them one night and they were in total bitch mode. I walk up as usual with a smile and ask how they're doing and they say "oh so...we have YOU tonight?" They say that to EVERY server, EVERY night. So I reply with "unfortunately, I have YOU tonight so looks like we're all shit out of luck. So, what do you want to drink?" I wasn't surprised they told my boss who really didn't care what I said cuz he hates them too but he 'HAD' to write me up. They are not liked by anyone at this facility
Rofl_House217 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at an Applebeeโs as a server. A Muslim couple asked me how a certain appetizer was. For some reason the first thing that slipped out of my mouth was โOh, those are the bomb!โ
...
I didnโt get a tip.
MyFaultGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I don't exactly regret it, although it did make the customer more mad which was an added hassle.
After arguing for several minutes and insisting that "the customer is always right" despite being clearly wrong, the guy angry threatens: "Well I'm not leaving here until [I get my way]".
My response was to take a step back, casually lean on the counter behind me and calmly reply "That's OK sir, I'm paid hourly."
He left shortly thereafter, having not got his way.
Arielham10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a gas station and some guy wanted to buy some zyn, a non tobacco chew, so he asked me what the most popular type we sell is and my only response was probably the one we're out of. He's just like you're a real smart ass today aren't you. Gotta take pride in that Haha.
Player13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was new to a call centre job and shadowing a co-worker, who told a story to put us at ease.
This happened on his 2nd day, and he'd done well on his first. Feeling confident, he sat down and took a call and he completely blanked out.
Panicking, he said "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck." He looked over and the phone's not muted.
"Excuse me?!" said the customer.
Without skipping a beat, he said, "Did you hear that too? That was so weird. I think the lines got crossed..." and he proceeded to take the call as if nothing happened.
I started training there a year ago and I now tell that story to my new hires too.
HarleyFenderRose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in cosmetics in a department store, mainly selling to old(er) ladies. One woman who was easily 60 asked me if a lipstick would stay on well. I, not thinking clearly, said that I wore it to go out drinking and took shots all night and it never went anywhere. She side-eyed me and said "Glad to know it's shot-proof." Felt the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme start playing as it slow zoomed in on my face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HarleyFenderRose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:05:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Matte Shakers from Lancรดme! Wide variety of colors, and super durable
oKeyserDurdeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:45:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a server, one regular I never usually served once said "Hey, you're a hard guy to crack, you haven't laughed at any of my jokes, what's that about?" Trying to be funny in response I said, " y'know I take my job seriously. well and then there's the depression, anxiety, insomnia." He was so drunk that he pulled my boss over and told him that I said I was schizophrenic. I later realised I was meant to be a cook not a server.
whoawicked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at Macyโs, a man is checking out with me in the soft home department. Making casual talk about his cool new Android phone, and my smart ass decides to say, โIโm a total slut for Apple products.โ
puns-sometimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a former coworker when I worked at a survey call center.
He was giving a survey which was practically done on auto pilot because of the volume we were doing. He was also texting his fiance at the same time. At the end of the survey he said,"thank you. I love you. Bye." He paused for a second, turned to me and asked what he just said. I practically died laughing.
kallieco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a server at a local pizza restaurant. During one shift, I was serving on two older couples who had each ordered their own small pizzas and as I brought them to their table one of the customers accidentally poked my hand with his fork. I asked if heโd like a new fork and he apologized and said no thanks.
I replied with, โDonโt worry, my fingers havenโt been anywhere weird today,โ
They just stared at me and I walked away only coming back to give them their check.
Merakus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a retail pharmacy and we get all kinds of screaming and yelling at us. One day I had a lady and her husband come in from the drive thru all kinds of angry. They start yelling at me because their meds were filled for too many(ie wanting a 30 day supply but dr sent for 90)
In the nice side I actually had a former angry customer apologize to me today about being out of line. Today was a good day.
KrotteGott ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work as a Comcast service representative, yeah, the ones who answer the phone when your internet or cable isn't working.
After a long call with a lady (about one hour on the phone with her), and against my supervisor's orders, I ended up telling her how to add free channels to her list, told her how to get what she wanted, and even told her how to get the ID of the last service representative she had talked to...I got screamed at by the operations manager the next day
bell_bail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was recently waiting tables during a brunch shift at a little French bistro. Had been working back to back shifts morning and night and the time had just jumped forward the night before. Hungover customers come in and start complaining about the time shift and how โmessed upโ it has them. I respond with, โ Yea not like it happens twice every year or anything.โ Immediately realize I just dropped a dose of sleep deprived snarkiness on them for no reason. They still tipped me well.
thering0010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a guy at McDonaldโs who liked to switch his voice from โsweet and helpfulโ to โpissed off sailorโ while he worked drive-thru. He would take the order, take his finger of the button, and scream and cuss at the utter stupidity of some of the customers (not wrongly, I might add.) I watched him leave his finger on the talk button, scream the words โdumb cuntโ, and then stiffen as he realized what he had done. I had to excuse myself to laugh my ever-loving ass off.
Loku5150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a helpdesk for a big company, which, if I were to oversimplify it was selling digital versions of computer games. Much of my work was unfortunately replying with same templates untill customer understood that I can't f.e refund him for buying a PlayStation key when he owns an Xbox. One time I had a really lengthy talk, and customer being seriously infuriated, he was storming out of the chat with some passive aggressive whishes of a good day, so I thought I'd return the wish, but as it was a finishing of an 8hour shift my hand slipped (I know how shady that sounds, but I would NEVER use this word as a slur) and I wrote "have a good Gay, sir". He went off about how he's going to destroy our reputation with that, so being scared shitless I went to my manager to tell him all about it, and he almost flipped over from laughter. This wasn't my best paying job, but I never had that cool of a team before or after. Hope they're doing well.
sedition- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a clerk running a convenience store, and i'm always super casual with all my customers, I say things like "what's up brotha" "hey dude, how are ya", I'm a little less casual with female customers if they aren't regulars but if they are then it's the usual "Hey what's up."
anyways, one day I was cutting some boxes in the back of the store when a customer walked in, so I made my way to the register and only caught a glimpse of them from the corner of my eye, they were kind of heavy with super short hair so I thought "okay it's a guy." So I went with the usual, "hey what's up my man?" and about 5 seconds later when I was face to face with them I realized that this person was clearly a woman. I had a little mental stumble and muttered "Oh shit, my bad." and felt like a fucking idiot for a good chunk of time.
SarahHasJuice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Some lady asked if I had anymore compassion for the customer. I said no. Got fired the next day. Watch for burn out guys, shit gets slippery. But that being said gawd I hated that fucking place.......
mig4000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had an interpreting job over the phone. As the lady told me her new born baby's name because the case worker wanted to know what it was, I blurted out, "that's an ugly name."
Bass9ine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Baskin Robbins. Toward the end of the night, a very heavy lady came and got an ice cream cake from the fridge. As I was ringing her up for it, my recent training kicked in and I casually asked "Is this for here or to go?"
...yeah, that led to a good 10 seconds of awkward silence. We had been trained recently to charge 10c extra if it was "to go" in order to offset the cost of bags and such.
Punk_Trek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a pizza place that specialised in vegan food. A group of hardcore vegans were asking about the mock meats, I said nothing beats real bacon. Cue death stares.
onefreckl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you go behind the counters everywhere you go?" "It's weird how people just stare and expect me to know what the fuck they want" "Ew please don't take out your tongue ring thats gross, do I need to explain why?"" "All nipples are different sizes, so do you have a general idea of the size of yours?" "Fuck no I don't want to see a picture of it" "Have a nice day and never come back, thanks!"
BlazeFox1011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an auto shop as the service writer/secretary. And one of our regular customers calls up, she's mentally challenged(really is, sweet lady but she had actual issues), well she calls up asking for a quote for some work, it's a 3 hour job and I give her the estimate with parts and labor. I tell her we're a little busy and if she dropped the car off we could have it done in 8 hours. My mistake she starts to almost cry because she thinks she's going to have to pay for 8 hours of labor. I keep trying to explain to her that no you don't have to pay for 8 hours your car will just be here for 8 hours. Took me 15min on the phone with her to finally get it.
TheFalsePoet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Literally told a customer "I am such a tool! How can I help you today?" That was the apathetic end phase of my retail life.
ask_me_bout_my_wenis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I want to speak to a manager!"
"You are."
I was not a manager.
khaleesi-of-snow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working retail, I had a pretty irate customer. After being unable to settle him down and explain we weren't stealing his information, I finished the transaction. I knew it was a bad idea but I decided to do it.
"Have a wonderful day, sir!" In the most upbeat customer service tone ever.
He turned around and said, I quote, "you know what? I will have a wonderful day. But I hate you and your company."
At least the next person in line gave me pity.
Patfanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
All of these comments just reassures myself that I hate people.
sparkle_bomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when I worked in customer service for a cell phone provider, I had a habit of quickly muting my phone and shouting insults at my coworker friends while assisting customers. One day I forgot I was already muted so when I yelled "You're a bitch!", the already irritated customer had a very valid reason to ask to speak to my sup.
ihave2blackfriends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally gave a kids menu to a midget.
"Aaaaaaand a kids menu for this little guy right here....... oh fuck. sorry."
Almost cried.
twerkforpresident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I used to wait tables, a customer asked where do you get catfish in Hong Kong? Without thinking I just said, the sea.
Chardlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Freudian slip when I asked a woman what I could do for her today and asked what I could do TO her today.... I don't even think she noticed but my heart dropped immediately
Toosdays ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was extremely racist to a group of about 10 big black women. At that time I was a 21 year old average white male.
I worked at a martini bar, and it was a birthday party. They were a fantastic group and I remember they were a pleasure to serve. When I came time for the bill, they started asking if we had discounts. They were taking turns asking like "Do you have a 2 for 1 discount?" Or a "We love Toosdays discount?" Until the eldest lady I'm assuming was the mom asked "Do you have a senior citizens discount?".
What i meant to say was "I'm sorry but this is a bar, we can't give a senior discount because it's not like we can give a minor discount" when in reality I said "Ma'am this is a bar, it's not like we can give out minority discounts."
It got really silent, but I was laughing thinking I said it right and I just walked away. Once I got back to the register I realized what I said. Still did the checks, but not surprisingly didn't get a tip. Was really uncomfortable after that.
envirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a thrift store for a year and one night we were cashing out after close but we all forgot to lock the front doors. It was an hour after we closed and a young couple probably mid 20's at the time walked in, my supervisor politely asked them to leave and the woman in a really snotty pretentious tone told her that they'll leave in a bit after they've looked at something. My supervisor tells them that they aren't allowed to be in the building and that they can come back tomorrow and the woman just responds with "like I said we'll be out after we look at one thing". I had already had to kick out one of the meanest women I have ever met in my life so I had little patience and I shouted "Get the hell out of my store before I shove my foot up your ass". That sentence could have gotten me fired but they left when I said that and my supervisor agreed not to tell anyone what I said.
DumSpiroSpero3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When someone came up to me, I just pointed at a coworker and said โThatโs her problem.โ I didnโt know it, but my boss was there too...
musical_manjoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a rather well-endowed woman come into my coffee shop and ask for two coffees and two muffins. My employee got both coffees while I rang her up. I gave her the receipt and said, "Let me just grab your muffins...."
It honestly was not intentional, but the silence that followed was truly deafening.
SmartSoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at CVS with a guy who was too self-absorbed to process me saying that a customer was blind and trying to figure out whether he should get a CD or DVD. Co-worker proceeds to burst at the customer at some point when the conversation was going back and forth saying " it's right there! What are you, blind?"
The man responded "Well, yeah I am!"
Tintar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Telling a visually impaired customer to "Come back and see me again!"
Miekachu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I donโt think itโs really a shouldnโt have said moment but I felt bad.
Iโm a waitress and this lady had said she was deathly allergic to spinach (hmm okay) so I tell the chefs and they say no problem and ask if they can garnish with rocket, sure no problem - thatโs okay.
I take her meal out, she eats everything to the point of it looking as though sheโs licked the plate clean; besides the rocket.
I ask her how her meal was and she starts on a huge tangent about how I nearly killed her by putting spinach on her plate and points the rocket. I explain to her that I understand her allergy and we asked if rocket was okay. She tried to argue that rocket is fine and thatโs not rocket, to which I go โlook honey, thatโs not spinach, itโs rocket. Spinach is shaped like this (hand gesture) and rocket is shaped like this (hand gesture)โ
When paying she made a huge deal about my attitude and got her meal for free, because of this my boss reemed me hard for my attitude towards the customer.
crookedman99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Has any customer found their incident in this post? Just curious
razezero1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was leading a tour group and it was mostly Chinese exchange students. We were sorted by what color their pamphlet was and I was the tour guide for the people who got yellow pamphlets. I realized afterwards that "Ok, this way, all you yellows are with me!" Was not the best choice of words.
Bassboy22419 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Regular customer came in one day and complained of being sick for a few weeks. I asked if she had aids, she laughed i laughed she tried to get me fired the next day.
Aiyakido ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
yelling: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT OF ME, MAGIC?
linobutez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Im a server. My first year i got really busy one night. Took an order, someone ran the food. Next time i went to the table, they were all finished. I said "oh shit you're already done? Got suspended a week the next day.
bbird0407 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In high school I worked at a decent convenience store. I knew the regulars pretty well after a bit. At the lunch rush hour one day, this guy comes in, hangs out at the ATM, leaves, loiters at the window, then comes back in and stands directly in front of me thereby jumping to the front of a ten or so person line. I promptly tell him that I won't serve him (He wants to buy cigarettes and junk with his EBT card) until he gets in line like everyone else. He gets belligerent to the point of telling everyone in line to fuck off, that I'm a racist, I'm out to get him, and even brings his girlfriend in to yell at me too. Customers say just take his sale which, surprise, doesn't work cause you can't buy that with welfare cards. They leave. The next day, a really nice regular came in with her daughter and apologized for the guy's behavior. I nonchalantly say, "It's all good. I think he was on drugs or just straight up retarded." Her daughter is disabled and had had several episodes in the store. Her jaw drops to the floor. I word vomit at her trying to clarify I just meant he wasn't thinking straight. She was pretty reserved with me after that.
dkdaws13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Them: "goodbye! Me: "you're welcome!"
They definitely noticed.
jingle_of_dreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for an animal shelter that had a pet loss support group and a memorial each year for pets that had died. As I was booking a guitar player for the memorial he asked if he could bring his family with him. "Of course," I said, "the more the merrier!"
TandemRapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once replied to a woman's request on a table I was serving with "No problem, sir". The lady was kinda butch looking so instead of trying to apologise and dig myself into a hole I just continued on. I didn't get a tip.
rebelbass1219 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working the closing shift at a theme park retail store. It was 1230am (the store closed at 1am). I'm working at a counter with another cashier. My break time was approaching so my lead said to go after the guest I was ringing up. A lady with 3 coffee mugs got in my line and I told her I was closing my register after this guest. She says ok and gets in the other line. I finish the transaction and a college aged guy comes to my register with a postcard to purchase. I quickly rang him up(my mistake) and the lady I sent to the other line saw and said "Why did you ring him up and not me? You didn't help me because I'm black!" I just laughed (mistake 2). She asked for my supervisor. He rang her up and sent me to break. I shouldn't have rang him up or laughed at her, but it was 1230a, I wasn't used to working that late yet.
DevilsAndDust- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not me but a friend of mine, whoโs a manager at a jewelry store (and English is her second language). She was just about to close up when a guy walks in and says he wants to look at some rings. So she wanted to ask him if he just wants to have a quick look, or if she should take out the tray of rings from the cabinet.
Unfortunately that came out as โDid you just want a quickie, or should I pull it out?โ
CaptainClowds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a popular fast food restaurant as a person who handles the speakers for orders . Well, a lady came through the drive thru and order a โLarge Caramel blah blah blah, and can you add chocolate to that ?โ
I donโt know why I thought to say this, or what the fuck my brain was doing but my response ...
โSure I can put chocolate on you !โ
Sure as shit, not only did she hear me say that..but also another member I work with heard it from me .
The customer was a good a good sport, was surprised another female said that too her, and I facepalmed myself so .
BobcatSassafras ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a garage as a shophand and sometimes had to help customers to their vehicles. I just finished doing an undercoat and started shooting the shit with this guy who was in the back to get his car.
โ...and whatever you do, donโt ever get the undercoat. Itโs a complete ripoff. Like this guy here just paid $3000 for a couple bucks worth of tar that doesnโt do anything. Anyway, sorry, which car was yours again?โ
It was his car. Because of course it was.
2kids2adults ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer I was selling hiking boots to. He kept asking for a discount. I was a stupid grunt and had no authority to do so - cheap-ass outdoors chain. He finally said, โyou know I come here all the time and spend so much money!โ I looked him in the eyes and replied with, โYeah? You and everybody else in here!โ He wasnโt too impressed. I was surprised that I said it out loud. I must have been having a particularly crappy day at work.
abonerforbiffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a cafe. When I take the food out in multiple runs to/from the pass, sometimes they will stop me as I turn to get the rest of their order saying "excuse me, there was supposed to be x item with this as well?". I clearly just came over here with my hands full of plates. In my head I think "I've only got two hands" (bitch) but usually my eyes glaze over and I say yes it's just coming.
The time I actually said I've only got two hands, with a smile, didn't go over well with the customer. I laughed it off but she didn't find it funny.
I also make coffee behind the bar. I will complete an order on a tray, call out what's on it and look around to see who looks up so I can say thanks, enjoy your drinks, and ask if they will manage to carry it okay. It's about 50/50 at this point when someone else will immediately say "actually it was (blah blah their drink order)" then look at me as if I'm stupid. The only time I said "well, you're not the only person in the world and that is the order before yours" the dude was embarrassed and actually laughed it off with me. My smile must have been extra charming that day
daitraider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โShut up Becky!โ
Setrakus_Ra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When working at JB Hifi. Boxing day sale. Indian bloke came up and asked for a discount on a phone case.
This phone case was from a phone that was 7 years old and had a price tag of $1. He wasn't buying anything else.
I asked "Are you fucking serious?" with a face looking at him like he was incredibly stupid.
He said yes, and asked for it for free. I took it off him and walked off.
Number1HandsyBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
retail lol. i always hit a certain point where i stopped caring and would be as rude as i could to asshole customers. love the nice ppl and casual folk who just want their shit done
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
kevinberg ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:55:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ableist.
t-funny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a client that some football players look a lot like neanderthals....
CH705-807 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โI falsified some documents because it saved time!โ Fired that same day.
Ares90V2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally trips customer thanks to shoelace, he's fine Me: (Are you okay? Shit man!) Actually me: โYou shit!โ me: Wait...
Everything turned out fine, he's good
jakecar98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady over the phone asking to talk to another worker. So I put her on hold, or at least I thought I did. While on โholdโ I said โHey [coworkerโs name], this bitch wants to talk to youโ to my coworker. We have quite the sense of humor in the workplace mind you. He said to tell her that heโs on break. Apparently I pushed the โspeakerโ button on accident prior to what I just said and she heard the whole thing. She told me that she isnโt mad and that customers wouldnโt like to hear that. She didnโt make a big deal about it and I respect her for that. I cringe every time I think about this.
sinnednogara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone called and asked if we were hiring. Family Dollar has online applications that have the test portion (questions that were super easy to bullshit through). I should've said "It'll make you take the test it's super easy" but instead I said "It'll make you take a test to see if you're smart." Hopefully the kid on the phone wasn't too offended but I fucked up.
12stepCornelius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me per se, but a coworker I used to work with at a liquor store.
Guy was fun to work with on the weekends, because our senses of humor lined up pretty well. Basically, out of boredom, we'd just pick out random, unpleasant people to rail on after they left the store. So during the tail end of a 5pm rush of everyone running by to get the necessary requirements to get liquored up after work on a Friday, this big, old, sweaty, heavy-breathing bastard is yelling at us up behind the front counter to come back and show him "where the damn Aristocrat is". So my co-worker takes up the charge and points this bubble gut in the direction of a half gallon of cheap ass rum. The guy gets two and I ring him up at the register. So after he huffs and puffs his way out of the store, we do our usual tidying up of the shelves to make everything look nice and neat again. As we're doing this my co-worker begins the usual, entertaining routine:
"Tell me where the Aristocrat is! I'm needing my fat, drunk ass self something to sip on tonight! That gross, sweaty bastard."
Right around "gross sweaty bastard" we both are rounding the corner of the same isle from opposite sides and spot a small, little lady checking out the bourbons. I nearly lose it and have to cover my mouth with my hand to stop from dying from laughter as he apologizes profusely to her, saying he had no idea the store wasn't empty.
Cool thing was, her response to him went like "Well I'm about to start cussing myself if these people don't text me back telling me what to get."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a cashier at a home improvement store. A guy is attempting to get his wallet put of a pair of moose knuckle jeans and ends up flinging the wallet directly into my chest. My immediate response was, "Woah now! I'm not in that profession!" We both had a good laugh.
SnarkySmuggler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Less of a "I shouldn't have said that" and more of a "I shouldn't have done that". I was at the end of my shift, a coworker was right next to me to take over. I served one customer because she had like one product and after that I wanted to take my money drawer and let my coworker take over.
Now, the couple behind the lady I had just served started complaining about how much they stayed in line and other shit. So, I look this guy in the eye as I log out of my cash register, slam close the money drawer and take it out. Dude was so pissed he threw everything he had in his hands on the ground.
And as a side note, I worked in a home improvement store.
Kdknicker87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at Starbucks, I was putting drinks out on the bar. Someone ordered a black eye (coffee with 2 shots of espresso). I put drinks out on the bar and call them out, Grande caramel macchiato, tall vanilla latte, tall black eye. Nobody came for the coffee so I put out a couple couple more drinks and call out again, venti caramel frappuccino, tall cappuccino, tall black eye. Now after a couple minutes, nobody has claimed the coffee and it was sitting alone on the bar so I yelled out "Yo! Tall black eye! On the bar!". It only occurred to me at that moment, as a tall black man was walking toward me, that this was his drink and "Tall black eye" yelled at full volume does not sound like a beverage. I said "Tall coffee, two shots, tall coffee, two shots" and walked away to make other drinks. I didn't stick around for the awkward exchange unfortunately.
Maggie_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at petsmart in high school. On my last shift, I couple came in and stated to berate me when they noticed the price on the cashier didnโt match up to the price they saw in the aisle. I very, exasperated said, โjust take it! Itโs free, ok?!โ
spacekittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I would not buy this crap"
I owned a shop with 2 others, I originally demanded that we'd never sell anything we would not buy ourselves (quality wise) but as I got busier with other stuff the stock buying fell onto the one guy I did not want to go into business with in the first place and he just started buying all the cheapest junk possible. Even worse, he'd buy huge bulk orders of stuff which took ages to sell just because our supplier assigned a very pretty girl as our accounts manager and he thought he might get laid if he spent enough money...so glad I got out of that partnership :D
ekst0l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Can someone link the greentext 'no tomato for the potato'
TheWaffler_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell glass. A woman had said โthey came and tore up all the glassโ. To try and empathize I asked what exactly had happened. She said โwell I was in the n*gger part of town...โ
dancorleone88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: Madam...blah blah blah Customer: Please donโt call me โMadamโ I donโt like it Me: Very sorry. Anyway Madam... Also Me: facepalm
stripeypinkpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer but a patient. Patient was complaining that they had it waiting in ED and was just going to go home after all the tests, irregardless of what the test results. So irritated that this prick is wasting public resources (Australia), I ask him 'why don't you just go home now, why sit here and waste my time and your time?'. I was hoping I could take the words back as I said them but he had nothing to say, probably either in shock or a light bulb moment. Either way, don't come to a hospital a day think you're the only one there and whinge when there are more serious categories to see first. Go to a private hospital if you want A1 service.
Fuhzzies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TL:DR: Lady calls in with simple tech support problem. I express my frustration a little too loud after an hour and a half. Got an ear-full for my trouble.
Lady found company phone number online and wanted help setting up her email in outlook. The business itself handled mostly small/medium sized businesses but my bosses decided they didn't want to close any doors so they left the home user support in there in case of a rainy day which was just great for me having to field all those calls in the middle of managing client servers and networks, but whatever, part of the job.
Normally I'd give the user some rates for phone support or onsite support but I was feeling generous and figured setting up an outlook account (clicking about 5 buttons, filling in a few fields with email addresses and passwords, selecting the correct radio box) would be so short it wasn't worth charging. Turns out this lady was one of those people who can't find the backspace button on their keyboard even if you physically put their finger on it and said "that one, push that one".
The first 15mins were a futile attempt to get her to enter her email address and email server. I then switched to trying to get her to download some remote desktop software since all that takes is a google search, clicking the top result and clicking the big download button and installing. Another 30mins of trying to get her to download the thing when it finally comes to installing it she refuses because it could be a virus (surprisingly smart decision in any other case but she found my number and called me. Why can't whoever told her that be helping her with her email?)
There is no convincing her so we go back to the blind leading the illiterate getting her email details in the fields. After another 30mins, almost an hour and a half call with this lady, doing something a 5 year old could have figured out in 10 minutes, her email is finally coming in. At this point I'm committed to the free assistance because there's no way she's going to fork over even a fraction of the $100/hr rate I'd have to charge her after the fact. She says thanks for the help and hangs up. I let the phone call to my side, look over at my coworker who's loving ever second of my torment, and say in what I thought was a low volume "please, kill me now."
"EXCUSE ME???!" I hear from the phone. Oh. Shit. She then goes on a tirade of how she called me for help, that it was extremely disrespectful, etc etc. While she wasn't exactly wrong I doubt she could see the situation from my perspective, but I'm not going to argue. I say sorry, I was saying it to my coworker, not her, that I was frustrated with how long it took. She let me know she's never using our service (that she didn't pay for, though it was my fault) again and hung up. Thankfully the bosses never heard about it. Last good deed for a home user I did while working there though. From then on home users had to bring their problem to me so I didn't have to deal with phone walk-throughs.
retorquere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's a longer story behind it, but at the first company I worked for (Unix admin consulting) at my very first on-site customer visit with a senior rep, I saw the rep was about to delete /etc/passwd so he could "start anew" with the user administration to fix the problem that noone could log in. The realisation of what was about to happen if he pressed enter hit me before I could think of what it would look like to the customer to have a junior admin shout "NO YOU MORON!" to the senior in front of the company owner.
The problem was that the disk was full btw. Expunging the logs fixed it.
Zapp---Brannigan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I opened a bottle of red wine at a table with my new wine key (a wine opener but faster to use, more compact, has a small blade to cut the foil around the rim) Well, I cut the foil off, started to insert the cork part, and noticed red liquid on the rim of the bottle. I quickly said, "Our wine... is not that color. I think I cut my finger; please excuse me while I go clean this up."
They were cool about it, understood. No blood in the wine!
ZomcEatsAss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a parking lot where I talked to hundreds of people per day and I always had a same script of words and it always ended in ..."after that you're good". Then one day while talking to an old couple I said "you're Gucci" and they looked at me so confused.
azalea1700 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably too late to the thread but I used to work at a nice bank on the swanky end of town as an assistant to the personal finance director. We had bathrooms that were one room per gender and as I was in one, a customer was frantically pulling on the door. Flustered trying to get out quickly, I rush washed my hands and yanked open the door to see a very gender-neutral person waiting. โThis is the ladies roomโ, I said quickly. โI AM a lady!โ they replied back.
Then I shrunk back to my desk hoping they didnโt have an appointment with us.
cupcakestew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting on a large party of 9-11 year old kids with their mothers. At the end of the meal I cleared all the plates and instead of asking if they wanted any coffee or dessert before paying I walked to the table and excitedly blurted out, โdid anyone save room for ice cream?!โ The kids all shouted โyeah!!!โ and a wave of shock punched me right in the face when I immediately realized what I had said, and that most importantly my restaurant didnโt even serve ice cream........ of course it was the only time when every mom would agree to dessert, which left me explaining that we never even have ice cream and I didnโt know why I said that. Dug myself deeper into dirty looks from angry moms. Regrets.
Lolliekinz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working the front desk at a hotel I took a call from a very uppity country mama.
UCM- My daughter can stay with me so I need to cancel her reservation.
Me- That wonโt be any problem at all but I will need your daughter to call and cancel since her name is on the reservation.
UCM- That is the silliest thing Iโve ever heard. I made the reservation so I can cancel it, Iโm her Mama!
Me- I understand you made the reservation but since it is in her name I will need her to call us herself.
UMC- WHY?
Me- Because she is an adult! ...also it is against company policy to allow anyone to make changes to someone elseโs account.
She hung up on me. To this day I have no idea why I said that to this woman and as the words fell out of my mouth I instantly knew it was going to be soooo bad. Thankfully my manager laughed and called me an idiot. Good times.
imodelz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once mistook a customer for a new employee... I was just starting my shift and noticed a guy in a white dress shirt and dress slacks at the hos stand. I'm trying to get the table chart updated so I ask "do you know if (insert random employee's name here) just took those people to table 24, or was it 36?". He replied in a shitty manner (UMMMMM NO I wouldn't know that actually I'm a high level finance manager for so and so company).
As I realized what I had done, the color drained from my face and I dropped what I was doing and bolted back to the kitchen while another host led him to his table.
anothercoolusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Apologies for formatting, on mobile. I have a few of these but Iโll give you my faves. Iโve worked a lot of retail but my most recent (and current) job is a supervisor at a vape shop. The other day a customer called to ask if we had a particular part for a vape and said that we didnโt carry it, but that a competitor might. โDo you know their hours?โ โI donโt. I could google it, but I suppose you could always do that too.โ
Weโre pretty free in this shop to behave how we want with customers, as long as we donโt cross any major lines. So usually I like to mess with people as much as I can. This girl was looking for a small pocket sized device. I happened to have mine on me and offered to let her try it. Among my coworkers, weโll usually joke around when trying each others vapes about minding the herpes etc. Iโd never say that to a customer though. Except this time I must have had a stroke or something because when she asked if I was sick, I just went โoh itโs nothing contagious,โ and gestured around my mouth, โitโs just genital.โ My manager was standing right next to me and we were all quiet for a few seconds before he went โheโs just messing with you. โ Iโm still not sure why I said that, but we all laughed it off. Luckily she worked at another vape shop and we all tend to be sort of funny people otherwise the situation would have gone differently. I was beet red for the rest of the conversation.
hkigrl13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in an ER. Had a patient come in for a minor something or other. His preteen daughter was all over the place. She kept saying,"I don't see why you have to work on Christmas eve and Christmas! That's awful, no one should have to work a holiday. Why do they have you working on Christmas!?"
"Because you're here." She was quiet after that. I meant to say something along the lines of its a necessary service every day, and that includes holidays, but being sleep deprived, it came out pretty rude.
nreneecross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: "What do you have that's vegan?"
I think for a second, then turn and reply: "Anything without animal products." Oops.
lyndasmelody1995 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work with adults with special needs. I would help them with skills to be independent. It was called an ILS worker. I made my own schedule, but if people didn't show up, or cancelled and I was unable to replace the hours, I wouldn't get paid for my full day. I only got paid for time spent with a client. And I had a client call me on a Monday and tried to cancel an appointment on Friday because she didn't feel well. I am a pretty blunt person, and I don't play games like this. So I said "No you aren't, you're just trying to get out of meeting me. You don't need to lie, just cancel the appointment." Well apparently she didn't like that too much because next thing I know she's asked for a new staff. I know I could have been a little less abrasive, but it was the third appointment in a row she cancelled. They real shitty part is she lived in the middle of nowhere, and I happened to live pretty close to the middle of nowhere, so I was the only worker willing to Go out there. My boss blamed me for that
Siriacus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a family planning clinic when what I then assumed to be a young female couple approached me. One of them sized me up and asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the right answer.
I didn't even work there.
beardedwallaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There's a sarcastic asshat who works the drive through at our local Arby's who always says "see you tomorrow" before I leave. I don't know why, but it always catches me off guard.
CaptainKurls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This actually happened today. I tutor kids in a tutoring center and sometimes I have to adjust seating arrangements to avoid putting talkative kids together. Anyways today I separated two girls and they were immediately upset with me.
When raising their hands for help, if I was the tutor to answer they'd say never mind or generally give me attitude. I shrugged it off and didn't bother responding to their raised hands after asking if they wanted me to help a couple of times. It came time for me to clock out and as I was walking towards the clock out machine I had to walk past one of the girls. She smugly looks at me and says "I don't want your help" without skipping a beat I responded "wouldn't help you if I could" and walked out. In hindsight it was kinda fucked but dealing with kids all day can get to you.
lucydlotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a customer if he wanted a refill on a coke and he replied with no, which i followed by: โah are you all coked out?โ When i walked away i was like why why why why would i say that
OhDuvv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This wasnt me, but my friend.
He was stocking tills near a shelf when a regular customer started talking to him. He was only employed there a week or two, so she was trying to politely find out a little about him. She asked him did he hand in a CV to get the job and he replied, "No, I was just kinda given it. Haha"
"Oh." She placed the shopping basket down and walked straight out of the shop. Her similarly aged son had sent in a CV about a month prior looking for a job and he never heard anything back. The manager on the till had a right laugh.
alexislu96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โSir, this is the womenโs restroโoh...โ
leopheard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm assuming the "oh" was because he had more Hungs than a Chinese phone book?
dropyatopwop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at KFC, and one time I was serving a customer on window in drive thru. She ordered like a 5 stars box and wanted extra salt on the chips, so I put extra salt on the chips, and say have a good one. The next minute later she comes through and says there wasnโt enough salt on her chips so I said sorry and proceeded to make another batch of chips with more salt, and then intended to give it back to her, before she stopped me and said โdo you really expect me to eat that?โ And she told me to take them back at do it again. At this point I started getting frustrated because I couldnโt please this bitch. Anyway one last time I did her chips, and again, she still had something to complain about. This time I just gave it to her, and said โwhat do you want me to do? Iโve exhausted all my options hereโ or something along the lines of that. She replied with โIโm gonna go home and if I canโt eat them Iโm going to take them back and make you wear them.โ I just slammed the door after that and she took off. She didnโt come back.
jamesbond653 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm the customer in this scenario
I was on my honeymoon with my wife and we decided to go to Disney. As we were there we were exploring animal kingdom and I see the timon and pumbaa muskrat things. Of course, being a Disney fan I quote the lion from lion king 1 & 1/2, โScurry, sniff, flinch!โ Immediately a Disney employ turns to me and says, โI canโt believe they made that movie, massive mistake, potentially the worst Disney movie ever made.โ Iโm shocked and I could only squeeze out, โthatโs actually one of my favourite Disney movies......โ
Couldnโt believe a Disney employ would say something like that so bluntly. I can appreciate the honesty but most people would never expect that from Disney staff.
mrlaksivrak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work in a pharmacy. During my first year a couple bought a Plan B. Sold it to them and as they go to leave I say, "good luck! Have a great day!" They stop for a sec to turn and look sheepishly at me while I stare with a "I'm a dumbass" look. I've learned to just say thank you.
omgnousernames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at McDonald's and when we first got the kiosks a guy asked if the food is cheaper since he has to take his own order. I said it's free if you bring your own. Ya... He was not pleased.
oldpaintunderthenew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Client: 'Hey the coffee maker says it's out of water, who can I turn to to have ir fixed?'
Me in accidental bratty teenager mode: 'You can turn to the water tap'
MiltonMcDonald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was once on the phone to a customer who was asking when their payment would hit their bank account. I had a total brain fart and got the words working and banking confused in my head. Yep, I told a guy the money would be in his account in three โWankingโ days!
At this point the call could have gone one of two ways. I could have had someone screaming at me or someone in hysterics laughing. Luckily he fell into the second category. I stuttered my way through to the end of the call and hung up to find my entire team in tears round about me. Not my finest moment!
Shushishtok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lmao, I bet you'll never hear the last of it!
ElToreroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I got pulled over once for making an illegal turn. I was really nervous but the cop was being really nice. I thought I was going to get away with it because of how nice he was being. When he returned he said "Ok, I'm going to give you a citation" In my head, I thought it was a warning cause I expected to hear "ticket". I replied by saying "oh thank god thank you officer for being understanding". After he left I realized he did give me a ticket. I felt like an idiot for thanking him.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โIโm so glad one of us can countโ
FreedTMG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did telemarketing for a charity, people would still get really mad. Once a guy told me my kind was the scum of the earth, and we all deserved to be dragged into the street and shot. I said "thank you sir, and will you be donating the bullet, or will I have to provide my own?". He hung up, I marked him down for a call back, he didn't say no, and that's what you have to say for us not to call back.
I was asked what happened, more out of curiosity of why I said that, management laughed, luckily they liked me.
ondasgamma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mild but anyway.
Once I was on a remote session with a customer on chat, and this person came in late, we took extra time to get things fixed and I ended up in the office until 9 PM.
I was not upset but rather tired. I wad chatting with my friends on Desktop Whatsapp, and I was typing "I am the only person at the office. I should get a raise just on the grounds of being an intense worka-" the window chat of my customer switched as she typed something and I typed "holic" and pressed enter.
I just wrote "sorry, typo. Have s good evening!" and left the session.
I met her later in person next week and she did not think much of it but I seriously thought she would say something to my boss sbout the holicisms.
CrazyJoe321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working the drive through window of a Burger King one night, and our timer wasnโt looking too good. We were running a little over three minutes, while it was supposed to be under 2:45. It seemed no matter how hard we tried, we just couldnโt get the darn thing down. It was probably 10:45, we closed in 15 minutes, and I was dead.
Anyways, a car came through, and this guy ordered some no salt fries with his meal. As many of you already know, this is a pain, because it means we have to cook fresh fries, and they literally take 2:45 seconds to cook.
So the guy pulls around. Heโs the only one in the drive through. I cash him out, and I ask him if he would pull ahead. He gives me this smug, quizzical look, dramatically checks all three of his mirrors, and tells me, โI donโt see any other cars.โ I tell him, โyeah, but youโre on a timer, and it would really help if - -โ Cutting me off, he informs me, โIโll tell you what. If I see a car pull around, Iโll pull up.โ
For a split moment, I let my internal monologue slip out, before realizing.
โ...Look, Iโm about ready to frickinโ kill myself. โ
The smug face disappears. He looks ahead, and pulls up. 2 minutes later I run his food out. He makes no eye contact and drives away.
The next day we get a complaint about the staff at our restaurant being miserable :/
TL:DR
I told a customer at a BK I was going to kill myself because they didnโt want to pull ahead for two minutes.
dervish666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a supermarket and had been having a bad day. Customer comes up and asks a fairly pointless question, I can't remember what it was, I answered it. He then asks where is the milk, I turn to my right and point at it in full view. He huffs and asks where the milk comes from.
I answered cows and walked away.
He asked to speak to my manager, who luckily found it hilarious.
nabazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at cvs and a guy came up to me with really bad acne and he asked me if I knew about anything in the acne Aisle and I was like nah that aisle is for girls. And I look up at his neck and he had really bad acne.... as soon as I saw that I knew I fucked up. So I started to kiss his ass. I feel bad now and I learned my lesson.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was a server at Dennyโs, had a regular old gal always come in (or so I thought), asked her how she was and that it was good to see her and asked where her husband was that morning.
She looked at me, teared up, and said โmy husband has passed 2 years agoโ
Felt horrible
octoberfourteen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer the gated community I live in
SuperbCrawdad2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In highschool working for subway, guy about my age (16/17) was trying to get my to fight him because his mom was being rude to my coworker and my coworker was visibly pissed at her. I said โwhat kid, do you have something youโre trying to prove to your mommy?โ
Mom threatened to call the cops on me and ended up calling my boss and corporate.
YB9017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer. But it was a sales call. I was working as an accountant at a small firm. We got a call from another accounting place asking if we could use extra accounting services. I recognized the name and voice of the person calling me after their short โhello my name is x Iโm calling from ____โ introduction. For some reason I thought it was totally ok to say โyes. I remember. We spoke two years ago on the phone about xx and xx. You work at this and do this and are asking about abc. I remember.โ
Id only ever spoke to this person once in my entire life over the phone. Person didnโt know who I was. Didnโt remember me or ever making a sales call to my job. Mi scared the shit out of them. For some strange reason I remembered every little detail.
This has never happened to me since then. But they were weirded out as shit.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Long ago I worked at a fast food restaurant and worked the register most of the time. It was during lunch rush, I was giving a guy his tray and asked if he would like any salt and pecker packets. We both just stared at each other in awkward silence until he said no thanks. yeah... that really happened.
Gjlynch22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Server at a restaurant. We only allow therapy dogs. This dog had one eye, so I asked if it was therapy dog. The lady said no but he was very well behaved and would just lay under the table.
We were slow and no managers were around so I figured why not and Iโll just let it slide. I decided the best way to say that was, โalright itโs ok but as long as you keep and eye on himโ.
She noticed the exact moment I realized what I said and she replied with a wry, โriiightโ
๐
Radlaserlava ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party + not my story but my friends. Me and my friend, lets call him Joe, worked at a place that was kinda like an arcade but also had bowling and paintball. Joe didnt like his job very much even though he just started working, and despite his attitude he got trained to work front desk where we sell day passes and arcade cards. A customer comes in, and asks Joe which pass he should get for his family, and Joe promptly replies, โThe two hour pass is the most popular, but I reccomend the one hour pass because you might get bored, thereโs not that much to do inside.โ The customer turns out to be the owner of the place, and he tells Joe this and sends him home for the day, even though he had a full work day ahead of him. Next time he came in, he was fired on the spot. Joe told me he had no regrets, besides not stealing a pizza when he was fired.
jetpackswasyesV2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was installing a security system at a customers home. At one point Iโm going over the camera live feed feature from their phone. We had a good rapport going and I said, โThis is a great feature you can use from anywhere. You can even use it to screen who is at your door... yโknow so you can avoid those pesky jehovas witnesses.โ
Luckily they burst out laughing. They then explained that being JW it made it even funnier. While I appreciated them letting me off the hook, the mood was noticeably changed after the fact.
Mysta02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Busty girl comes in the store, asks where something is.
"Over there, on the...... rack...."
Saltwaterpapi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at a bike shop and told a guy to use WD-40 to lubricate his chain, I can't believe I said that and I hope he learned how stupid that would be.
myztry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Water Displacer 40 often gets used to lube things and it works for a period of time even though thatโs not itโs purpose.
Why is it stupid for the short term other then you should follow up with grease which will stick around?
Saltwaterpapi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's the problem, I was telling him to use it as a long term lubricant rather than a short term fix to the squeaking noise.
DReynholm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
On the phone. "happy to help you with that sir.."
"I'm a woman!"
Eknoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a banking call centre and would routinely be subjected to abuse from customers over bank fees.
We had a policy of a once off fee reversal and after that it was manager's discretion.
Usually as a retort to the abuse I would say to the customers that I apologise for the fees, however being a multinational company we are run as a profiting business not a charity.
diamondsarahb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a jewelry store showing rings to a man in a wheel chair. I said, "when you wear our jewelry you're a walking advertisement for us..." to a man who could not walk. Ugh.
tarlin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a school supporting large scale printers. One semester, after my group had controlled them for years, the control of the printers was handed over to a class during the end of their projects. Unbeknownst to me, there was an issue with the printer and the printer driver where print jobs would just disappear. If I remember correctly, it had to do with the print job size being above 100mb or something. Anyway, i thought one group of students was in control of the queue for printing, and other students were complaining to me. I said offhandedly that they need to talk to those two exchange students, because it was my understanding they are running the print queues, and if jobs are being deleted it is probably them. Well... I was accused of being against people from their country and was trying to turn the school against them. There was a formal complaint made against me to the dean and my manager. They said I always treated them badly and disrespected them. I honestly didn't think I had, though one of them often needed to use more resources which I sometimes balked at.
It really made me a lot more careful about what I said. Nothing ended up happening to me. My manager stood behind me and I left a few months later.
Crown_Phoenix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Obligatory not me, but a friend I know works for customer care. She told the story of how once a customer received a large sex toy in place of the item she ordered and was astonished by the size and just really weirded out by the mix-up. The customer says jokingly "who buys a 20 inch dildo?!" Its too big! Its crazy, how can you fix this?!" To which my friend, the customer rep blurted out unthinkingly "I'm so sorry, what size would you prefer?"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady came into the coffee shop I worked at and starts asking how many calories are in each drink: "how many calories in a tall latte?" "Ok, how about in the smallest size latte?" "How many calories in a nonfat mocha?"..... I get so fed up I blurt out "May I suggest a water? It's no calories."
Captain_Planet_27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a gas station. Dude asked for Grizzly straight. Told him all we were carrying was Grizzly gay. He didnt laugh. I felt stupid
DankPurple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for a pizza joint once
Crazy busy night, we were getting fucked
We always had too ask if customers wanted salads or garlic strips with their orders
Towards the end of my shift I ended up saying to a customer "So do you want any Fucking Salads or anything?"
I didn't even notice what i said for a good second either
I swear i said it so casually the customer didn't even notice either....that or he was a homie.
st_add ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Server at centro today: โhey guys, Iโm gonna have go to the bathroom here Iโll be back in a bit so donโt leave on me!โ
damionlai97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I remember reading a TIFU about a guy who told a black customer "We don't serve your kind here" as a joke. Apparently both of them were fans of 2 opposing sports teams with an intense rivalry, and the customer was wearing the jersey for his team. He managed to clear up the misunderstanding since he was wearing his team's jersey under his uniform.
Beena22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In a previous job one of our customers set his massive dog onto another customer because he owed him money and it caused a massive fight in the office, with security guards tackling people and random punches being thrown. As I was on the phone to the police the guy who owned the dog was in my face threatening me and telling me not to tell them it was his dog. It was pure chaos at that moment and having this dude in my face whilst people were shouting and fighting was not conducive to a happy day at work. I finally snapped and aggressively pointed in his face and shouted โFUCK OFF AND GO AND STAND OVER THERE!โ He did and never made a complaint against me thankfully. As soon as I said it I thought โOh oh...probably shouldnโt have done thatโ
strangegurl44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer that my make coworker had a vagina. I nearly lost my job after that. Rip
SNAFUesports ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in training to be apart of this telecommunications company where we called people to take political surveys. My first practice call I had a bite of what sounded like a middle-aged man who was bored with his life and wanted to get his jollies off on my phone call but was still semi-serious about it. My trainer was listening the whole time critiquing me making sure I didnt say the wrong thing or say something bad because I was young.
Somewhere along the conversation he started to ask me questions which was strange and they were very personal and weird questions like "what do you think my stance should be?" "Whats your name" and other things I cant quite remember but all I remember is my trainer talking me through how to answer these questions professionally until he asks a question so strange even she turned to me and asked me "is he coming onto you". Now before that the few questions he asked at first she was telling me what to say and I would repeat it to him but when she asked me if I thought he was coming onto me I immediately went back to the phone and asked him, "sir are you coming onto me?". Luckily he laughed and was not bothered but I was not supposed to say that lol. She was going "no no!" In very aggresive but quiet manner.
Awkward
Danthorpe04 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer say she was going to call the cops because we were defrauding her becauee we gave her the wrong pizza (even though it was right) after she ordered online. I had resist the urge to laugh.
dolphin37 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a call centre many years ago... never did it myself, but it was quite common for the end of a conversation to go.
customer: 'thanks have a nice day... bye'
staff member: 'love you, bye!'
Apparently this instinct is a popular one! Never a complaint about it though... maybe there's customers walking around thinking they're just that loveable
geared4war ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I've finally got one for one of these!
I had a customer in an electronics store come up to the counter I was working at. Sales guy following, trolley piled high with expense theatre system.
Customer is a midget.
He decides to pay in cash and starts counting. Gets to the end of his cash and realises he doesn't have enough so he asks me if he can put the rest on his card.
"Oh, you're a little short? No problems, we can do that!".
I take his money and process his card while he looks at me very strangely. I keep my face completely straight but the sales person is desperately trying not to laugh and the other cashier's have all fallen below their counters and just tried to laugh quietly.
I managed to keep it completely straight, immediately turned to serve the next customer and held out on laughing until the customer said "yep, he's gone now" and I just gave up.
1stLtObvious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer one second please so I could ask my manager a question, and I'd be there ASAP. I had been waiting for her to come out of the service desk area. Customer was mad because I was so rude. Full-on fake politeness mode through her order. Say goodnight and get a grunt in return.
"If you want to preach politeness you better practice it!"
RobotNexus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every single time I don't say reply back when the customer says Thank you.
But when I do, I spew some dumb shit like 'No problem'.
teksti-tv666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The payment system was down so I couldn't pay her benefits. She said ok, I'll stay on the phone until you can pay me. I said "I'll put you on hold then until you get bored." she hung up after 40 minutes.
p_oho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a cashier at a local grocery store and I was in a particularly chipper mood. This woman comes to my line buying a ton of appetizers and finger foods. I ask her โWhereโs the party at?โ And she said it was a funeral reception. To which my dumbass just picked up the cheese and crackers and said โThis is a good choice.โ Stood in silence for a minute and never made eye contact with her.
UrbanSparkey543 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I made a joke about photocopying a customer's ID. She wasn't impressed.
bloodofnecros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me: We get that a ton actually, this chick comes through and we call her the pickle.......explitive
Her: whispers: the pickle bitch
Me: i didnt say that.
deliciousbeefgravy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Verizon (TCC, Authorized retailer, to be exact) and we had this particularly ornery customer in one day. They had an issue with their service and her and her husband were in the business of transporting luxury camp trailers to their new owners.
So here the trailer movers were, on their high horses lecturing me about how they were missing out on $500 an hour of revenue just to be in my store getting their plans fixed. After about an hour of making a sincere effort to solve their problem, I admitted to them that only a tech support agent with corporate clearance could proceed from here. At which point, the lady states very bluntly;
"You're in customer service, you HAVE to fix this."
To which I responded, looking her dead in the eye
"No, mam, I'm in sales, and I'm missing out on about $50 an hour helping you with tech support"
I gave her the number for customer service and told her she would need to leave the store. I also went to the back and left through the back door to take my lunch break.
If anyone here is a customer service rep with Verizon corporate; I'm sorry on behalf of authorized stores everywhere for all the pissed off customers we don't want to deal with. You're our guardian angels, though ๐ bless you
idontcarewhoU_R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
worked atma tool place. Guy brings up a box marked drywall saw. It was really early and i did not get enough sleep, so i dont know how to speak just yet. This guy asks "is this a drywall saw? " I was also having a hard time reading because my eyes were still dry, so i just reached for the box, brought it up close enough to read, and, whole heartedly, read the title of the box " drywall saw " because i was priming to throw in the details fantastically, and he interrupts telling me, "yeah, i can read."
I didnt say a word. It struck me why it was offensive and i was appalled at my actions, but then i couldn't figure out a better way to put it. I'm still confused.
bravehw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a cashier normally but sometimes they have me cover breaks at the customer service desk (major retail chain). I go from saying โhey, what can I help you with?โ to being back on a regular check-out lane and occasionally accidentally ask regular guests coming through my line the same question. Iโm sure theyโre like โ....uhh, Iโm just trying to buy some snacks and a $3 scarf, what do you mean?!?โ
CrossBreedP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Selling shoes to a BMW distributor. I asked him "So are your customers as big of assholes in the store as they are on the road?"
He didn't laugh but he didn't file a complaint. So I count it as a win.
Balo_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Is there anything else I can help you with?
JayDoppler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:40:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dealing with the angry husband of a really unreasonable woman, told him that his wife was being a bitch.
Solipsisticurge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was the manager of a used tire shop for several years. Innumerable customers bitched endlessly about there being sales tax on the tires, as if it were some con I had cooked up myself sheerly out of racism.
One such customer, on a very busy day, asked in a bitchy tone, "what the hell do I have to do to not pay this scam?" or something similar.
I replied, "move to New Hampshire," and left the office.
Felt good at the moment.
XxWHIPPYPOOPYxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to sell a couple a laptop, they had bought in a really old and shitty one and really anything we had was going to be faster.
They had picked one of our mid ranged laptops, and to try and convince them how slow their old laptop was compared to what we had, I stupidly said "your old laptop is so slow our cheapest one is probably faster!"
They turned around and said "yeah? Well let's look at that one instead!"
Still managed to sell the mid ranged one but man do I cringe when I think about what I said. It was my 5th day.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While in an emergency department with a patient with severe back pain from a previous spinal trauma I mentioned to my coworker how my back hurts so much from last night's back day at the gym. As soon as I said it I felt like a piece of shit.
StrongyB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
'Sorry about your wait' Customer was at least 25 stone Shout out to the English language.
mniarcffwi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working Taco Bell drive thru I told a customer "I get paid to please you" My face got red.
ShackedShark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Thatโs my tit bitch
cookierug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lil late but I used to be a server and once I was showing my coworkers pictures of the man with two penises aka doubledickdude. My other coworker called me to the front to help him because our card reader wasn't working. I proceeded to open up my phone to check the Internet right up to a picture of doubledickdudes big meaty cocks. The customer saw and looked me straight in the eyes and i said err, dont think about it too hard and ran away and let my coworker deal with it hahah.
saturatedsodium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a little different response, not funny at all. After many bad sleeps, I was tired as hell and going through the normal processes when I was listing a customer's children and didn't notice the deceased label next to her newest child. As soon as the words left my lips I felt pure dread at the realisation of what I had done. I apologized profusely and completed the call but that has stuck with me as I understand the loss of a newborn.
Guy_Hero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, what can I get for you?"
Bob4Fettuccine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work the front desk in an ER. Weโve been busy as shit the last year. There isnโt an influx of sick or injured people, they just love the attention. Anyway, a woman was bitching at me one night about how long she has been waiting. I told her many times, politely, that there were no open rooms. The doctors and nurses are trying to get rooms open for everyone, theyโre just swamped. She wouldnโt quit pestering me even when I was trying to get others checked in or help them out of their cars. I finally told her โyouโre not special, you will wait like everyone else in my lobbyโ. Yeah...apparently people donโt like to be told they arenโt special lol. I got in trouble for that one.
MichaelM8888 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I was working in the Walmart photo lab and a pair of customers came up and asked me something I canโt remember about Walmart. I, thinking it is my coworkers from electronics, yell pretty loudly (the photo lab was a pretty isolated area) โfuck Wal-Mart!โ Boy was I in shock when I turned around.
Uchiha_Itachi22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in the footwear department of a sports store. A paraplegic man came in to try on some shoes and things were going good. I brought him the shoes he asked for and he put them on while I went to help another customer. When I came back he was checking them out in the mirror and in all my infinite wisdom I decided to ask โhow do those feel?โ Needless to say I lost a sale that day...
thurmanthaman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I tripped putting a bag in a cart and a guy on crutches asked if I was okay. I was fine and I was trying to be friendly so I said โIโll survive, but are YOU okay?โ He laughed awkwardly and then I looked down and realized HIS WHOLE LEG WAS GONE.
HeatherMich3ll3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was my first time in a serving gig, had only worked there a few months, and in hindsight the job wasnโt a very good fit for my lack of social skills. I had a couple sitting at the sushi bar who was just about ready for the check, and I approached them to ask about dessert. After making conversation and talking about their meal, I asked if they would be interested in anything sweet to finish off their dining experience. They were both a bit buzzed, the man more so that the woman, and while I was trying to give them their options for desserts he interrupted a few times mentioning what he was, wasnโt in the mood for, etc. Now. There were many, many times in that job that I wanted to be a snide, petty little cunt to customers who were rude and all around unpleasant people, but this was not one of those times. I enjoyed my (brief) interactions with these customers and would never have acted in such a way even with customers who I believed DID deserve it. However, in my attempt to say โwell let me lay out the options for youโ or something to that effect, what my brain decided would be a better fit was โwell if you would let me talk...โ and before I could even shut my stupid mouth up I saw both of their eyes widen. I had no idea how to dig myself out of this hole, so with my face mirroring theirs I just kind of continued. I told them the flavors of mochi, the typical banana/ice cream bit, and then wallowed in shame for the rest of my shift. That day I learned: I should not be a server.
ekkso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I love you, bye!" On the phone while thinking about my gf.
Rottenkore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer walks into the bar I was working, notice that his left hand is completely missing from the elbow down, possibly an accident or something similar. I pay no attention to it and simply get their drinks.
After the order is completed, I give them a tray to carry the drinks (they were 4-5 different drinks) and ask them "Need a hand?"
I immediately thought to myself "oh shit", but the dude was pretty ok with it, he just looked at me, and laughed it off.
Astropup81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
working 10pm to 6am shifts really mess your head up, as a customer was walking away i meant to say "be on your way" and my brain wanted to say "go on your way" what came out was "okay go away now!"
pinkdiva92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well I have had moments where I should have said something else important that I forgot to tell the client moments. Does that count?
noxious_toast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whilst working the Wendy's front cash a fairly serious looking older man's order came to the ol' $6.66 so I chipperly asked him if he was the antichrist. There was no laughing.
X1SMUSH1X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Saw an armless reaching for kayaks. Me being a nice, concerned employee blurts out: Sir, would you like a hand?"
Literally didn't even finish helping. I felt so bad I went straight to the back and told a coworker to see if he needs help. I didn't come back out until he left the store.
Jacitup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked for direct tv a few years ago. While doing an install I usually make small talk with the people there. During the education part about how the remote and system works we somehow managed to get on the subject about the local strip club. The client, a woman who wasnโt all that great looking to me, she was short and round, asked why I had never bothered to go there. I replied โItโs just not my thing. Not much for stop clubs.โ โOh, they arenโt that bad. I used to strip thereโ she said. I opened my mouth and the words โAnd thatโs whyโ came out. I stopped dead and threw my hand over my mouth. I then left in a hurry.
Monkeyballs1020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy came in one day and held up a pork loin to his (assumed) wife and says โlook how fat it isโ to which my ability of quick, intelligent, uncontrollable banter kicks in and I say โjust like your momโ. Didnโt see me say it but I dipped the fuck out as soon as I could.
Brawlyspade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a client on the phone complaining for 45 minutes about how her parents phone number had been changed when they moved house and they want the old one back since they've had it for years. Turns out they moved over a year ago and only just asked about this and the old number had already been recycled to another house. Anyway after repeatedly telling her this and there's nothing I can do she finally agreed to hang up when I said in a reflex "thank you for calling, have a nice day"
She flipped out and stated shouting at me for being so rude and I shouldn't thank her when I have been so useless. She was on the phone for another 45 minutes........it was my second day
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you do any research before buying this product at all?"
BLCKAFR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a Publix. A regular came in, told me she was one, since I had just started. I looked squarely at her and said โGood for you maโam.โ
Silvershawdow59 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working at this local wendys as a cashier, these two brothers come in and they were clearly blue collar hard working kids, so their orders taking awhile and we start small talking about kanye. He says "yeah kanyes kid is definatley not going to college hes got so much money there would be no point". So i, as the intellectually adept worker i am say something along the lines of "Rich parents always send their kids to college". Big F
highafpipboy94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was high as balls and the owner of my job told me to have a good shift so I said you too FML
UpstairsGripe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a call centre in the UK. When I first started we had to do calls in pairs, one person would take the call and the other person would listen in, the guy I was working with had to take a call and it was clear the pressure of the job was getting to him and for some reason he decided that the best thing to do was to put on a strong Texan accent, the guy who was calling was complaining about something quite serious and all I remember was the panic on this guys face as he realised he would have to spend the entire call using this Texan accent. The call was honestly the most painful thing I have ever had to witness.
tekjansen505 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I always play it off really cool and just like โyou look so alike!โ but every time I mistakenly address a brideโs friend as her mum is always a moment I will rewind in my head for hours. Luckily Iโve only done it maybe twice but Iโve never forgotten. Iโm a bridal stylist.
Cheesetoast9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a computer shop. Woman called about something, i can't remember what, but she kept interrupting me when i was trying to answer her questions or explain the process. I eventually spoke over her and said something like "can you keep quiet for 30 seconds and let me answer your question? I'm trying to help you but i can't if you aren't going to listen and waste my time" She was taken aback, kept quiet and quickly ended the call. Worth it. Never snapped on anyone else, but she just pushed my buttons on the wrong day.
tostadatostada ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was delivering pizzas to a guy with a fenced yard and multiple "BEWARE OF DOG" signs posted around it. There was no dog in the yard, so I jokingly asked him, "So, where's this dog I should beware of?" while he signed the receipt. She had escaped and been hit by a car earlier that week. It was still hurting him by the look on his face when he answered.
leightonlyric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for a very popular streaming service. We experienced a crazy outage and our site was down for 2 hours. Was taking call after call, explaining the same thing over and over to angry people and I was at the end of my rope.
An irate guy calls in and immediately starts screaming about how we should let customers know when thereโs going to be an outage and this is unacceptable, blah blah blah. I explained to him that we literally canโt let customers know ahead of time because an outage is unexpectedโ itโs not scheduled maintenance. But things will be back up ASAP.
Heโs having non of it and finally screams โWELL I NEED MY SMETFLIX! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE TIME BEING, HMMM?!โ
I said โI dunno, maybe read a fucking book?โ
Manager happened to be listening to the call...
Pepper_Y0ur_Angus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working retail and had introduced myself to these three African American women. I asked them their names which all began with K. To which I responded: "oh hey the three K's" and then just walked away out of shame.
legoscars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โNot today Satan.โ
maxanthony84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a club on the bar on a Saturday night, peak time for us. Itโs obviously busy and this guy has been waiting a while but so has everyone, if youโve worked at a bar you know what itโs like. This other guy makes his way to the bar and asks for some water as Iโm walking past. Iโm normally alright with breaking to get water for someone because they normally need it more than the guy needs his 5th sambuca shot. Anyway, the 1st guy whoโs been waiting an extra 30 seconds now shouts โwhat they hell heโs just got here Iโve been waiting ages?!โ I ask him if he wanted water as well, he replied no to which I said โwell shut the fuck up thenโ as my manager walked past. He laughed, but still had to speak to me after shift.
rci22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Combined "No problem" with "your welcome" and said "your problem" by accident on several occasions.
avsfan1933 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in industrial sales and was looking up pricing for parts for a customer. I called our supplier, then turned tot he customer. Told him that we are buying the parts for this price, adding this 14% fee to it, to cover our company, then marking it up 35% which brings it up to xxxx amount. Not my finest moment
MilitaryFish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer come into my work at like 9:01pm begging me to just buy one quick thing. I close at 9pm but I figured "hey I'm not a piece of shit" so I stayed open for him got what he wanted. Then he started browsing for a while and talking about literally nothing.
I kept making hints like "welp it's getting late let's get you all paid up" and he just kept talking and talking and I was getting irate at this point but then he started bitching about how our prices aren't as good as competitors and stupid shit like that(our prices are better, I know because we deliberately sell under theirs) and shit like that. I explained that to him and how he wants a deal on the shit he's trying to pay for.
I don't make deals, much less for a whiny bitch so I said no sorry I don't do that. Then he gets mad. Like real mad and raising his voice saying I'm just trying to scam him and shit like that. So I said "look man I don't set prices here, if you're so upset at the prices just shop at the competitor" to which he says "well I'm already here". I replied saying "Well then I guess you're going to pay whatever we list things as". He didn't like that one bit. He keeps saying "I should not have to pay these horrible prices and blah blah"
Now I'm fucking pissed and I told the guy "yeah you don't have to pay? The fuck are you going to do about it? You're already here either pay or get the fuck out". Yeah he didn't like that. More screaming and even more rage and he ended up throwing money at me and walking out.
I came out like $5 ahead lmao
skeet8509 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working the grill in a small restaurant I used to work at in high school. We were in the middle of our rush and some guy walks into the kitchen and loudly asks โDo you guys have a health pyramid??โ
I looked up from what I was doing and said โNo, weirdo.โ
His jaw dropped in disbelief and I just stared at him. He finally left and my boss just shook his head.
chazzamcnasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:04:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a customer to โFuck Off!โ
Long story but customer in screaming at me for a ยฃ1 refund on a book (in a charity shop) explain to him canโt do that, rants for ages about taking me to Trading Standards, repeatedly tell him โitโs a charityโ but heโs not backing down. Eventually leaves. 15 mins later get a phone call from same man saying heโs reported me to TS to which I say โlook, I donโt careโ he gets even more angry so I just shout โoh fuck offโ and hang up.
Didnโt hear anything else from him, cause he probably realised he was being a nutter!
sully1987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Blockbuster, a man came into the store with his 2 kids and was checking out some movies. Constantine had just came out and he asked me about it. I said Keanu Reeves is basically an exorcist and but I said that he's dying of cancer throughout the movie. He looked at his kids and said "well we aren't going to get that one then" and left. I realized instantly that underneath his hat he was wearing was a bald head and immediately felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world.
terranq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A buddy and I used to work in the call center for our local telco. People would always call in and complain that there internet was down for an hour and want a credit applied for their inconvenience. It didn't happen often, but when it did guaranteed we'd hear about it.
My buddy got sick of it one day and told the customer fine, I'll give you a credit. How long was it out for? Guy said it was out for over an hour. So my buddy pulls out his calculator and starts crunching numbers. "OK, so the plan you're on is $34.99 a month. We'll assume a standard month is 30 days, so that means you pay $1.17 a day. There's 24 hours in a day, so you pay $0.05 per hour for your internet. I'll round up and call it 2 hours it was out, so that's a $0.10 credit on your next bill. Anything else I can help you with?"
The customer was not amused.
Prince_Jackalope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time I gave a gift to a female friend of mine just to be nice, it was a cheap ring with a baby chicken on it made out of fake diamonds She was all โoh this is really cool! Whatโs that on it though?โ I just said โitโs a chick! ๐ณ... ๐คฆ๐ปโโ๏ธโ She just kinda looked at me like โ.. really?โ
DoodleSean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was Selling Finance and the Woman stated:
"I would have to ask my Dad first ... " To which I relpied " Are you not old enough to make your own decisions??? " We both laughed but the Call was replayed in Training with everyone laughing except my Manager - who was VERY upset
lilythebeige ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Would you like a hand?"
Whilst watching a lady struggle with the hand towel in the toilets. It was the kind that centre feeds from the bottom then it's supposed to tear off but it wasn't playing fair and just kept on feeding. As the words left my mouth I realised it wasn't the best thing to say to a one armed women. Fortunately she had a sense of humour and just laughed
klaffredi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a local grocery store with an admitedly long line. This gentlemen at the back begins to drum up attention yelling and complaining about the line. This goes on for some time and he eventually speaks to me directly "I shouldn't have to wait in line all fucking day". I respond with "You don't... you just have to wait untill its your turn". Not amused he became disorderly enough to be kicked out of the store.
A_KEEEEED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one not about me: My homie was getting really frustrated with work and he was having a really shit day (fast food place grind in high school) he is serving at the register. This one customer comes up to him and tries to talk to him when he is in the middle of a convo with someone else about sauce refills or some stupid fucking shit. He goes to the customer "Hi welcome to restaurant would you like your food spat in or dropped on the floor?" The face of instant regret on his face man...
lilythebeige ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How do you spell that?"
I was writing down the ladies name and she said "Gween" I was still struggling so she said "Gween! Like the gwass!"
goklissa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason when I was younger I never got into the habit of saying โyouโre welcomeโ or โno problemโ I just say โyeah.โ Itโs happened many times.
โThanks for helping me out.โ โYeah.โ
Once, on a date. โI had a really great time. Youโre really cool.โ โYeah.โ
It comes off so cocky and Iโve gotten better but good lord itโs not a great look.
GrumpyGoatGirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a clothing store,customers come in and I cheerfully greet them and ask if they're shopping for a special occasion. I was then told they were looking for an outfit to bury their mother in.
nerovox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I literally told a customer "no". They spent the next hour screaming that I was an entitled piece of shit millennial who will not in hell
funkeemunkee11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work as a fuel attendant in the state of Oregon,ย and for those of you that are unaware it is illegal to pump your own gas in Oregon or New Jersey. This means people like me and get to do it for you all day dealing with BS all the time such as getting a gun pulled on you. This happened sometime in November and since I work at a 24/7 gas station and I was doing the 6AM - 2PM shift 5 hours of which I'm alone I get a lot of rude people. Such as one morning where around 7 someone came in and asked for propane and I said no as I was the only one there and told them to come back at 11. He then comes back EVERY SINGLE HOUR and at 11:30 he comes so I walk over to help him where he said "oh look who came off of their lazy fucking ass to finally help me" where I replied with something along the lines of " fuck off I am not serving you propane and I recommend you get the fuck off of this property before we callย the cops" at this point a 2nd gentleman showed up (thankfully) to get propane so that he can go hunting. It is here when the (1st) guy goes to his car puts his propane in and pulls out a handgun and says something along the lines off "you ain't so fucking tough now are you now that I have a fucking gun are you? now pump my fucking propane before you get a bullet put through you" this is where the 2nd guy grabs his rifle out of the back and points it at the first where the first proceeds to get in his car and leave.
Valiantful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but my girlfriend used to be the closing manager at a regional training store for a major dollar store retailer
A small town, but so small that that's where everyone went to shop.
When asked for her name or credentials she would just give them her Snapchat.
She fucking hated that place
honeybadgr32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a bar that is kind of hard to find. We always have people call in and ask for directions which is really hard to do when you have absolutely no idea where these people are. One time an older lady was really upset that I couldnโt direct her to the bar when she gave me almost no indication where she was. She said that she was going to use her cell phone to leave a bad review while her husband drove somewhere else. I said โOkay. Maybe next time use your cell phone to look up directionsโ and just hung up the phone. Didnโt fell bad at all.
_number_3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a gas station. A man walks in with walking sticks in his hands. It was a warm summer day. People were in a good mood and as such I was feeling a little frisky. When he came up to me I looked at him and said โa bit warm for ski practice isnโtโ or something to that effect. He said nothing for a second. I donโt know what drove me to make a joke at the expense of walking sticks to the face of man using walking sticks. I immediately realized me mistake. He says to me โno these are walking sticksโ in a monotonous way. I think to myself why I would say something so stupid, but am relieved that he seems only mildly annoyed. He then says โI was recently diagnosed with Parkinsonโs and my doctor says this can help meโ. I looked down and say in a hushed voice โ yes. Nothing funny about thatโ as I proceed to procure his order. He leaves with neither of us saying any thing.
As he is a regular I have since seen him and have taken the opportunity to apologize. He toke it very well. However, I havenโt seen him walking with his walking sticks since then
Dicethrower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said "I'm sorry". He didn't deserve it.
shaksta4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing morning shift at subway. Kinda half asleep still. Customer comes and asks for a toastie. Our subway happens to be directly under the HQ in NZ and our manager said absolutely NO add ons to toasties (beats me why this is a rule).
So this dude comes up asks for avocado toastie, he then asks if he can have some cheese on that. I apologise and tell him that unfortunately we cant. And he's all like oh why? I tell him that the manager doesn't allow it and yeah. And then I also foolishly said "Its also really annoying for us when customers ask for add ons on toasties." Now my thinking here was that its annoying for us because we have to decline, like I would totally love to just put cheese on it or whatever.. but we're just not allowed to and it sucks telling that to every customer.
But of course, he took it the wrong way (quite easy to do so with what I said) He just said oh?... And proceeded to be all moody with me from then on. At the end he asked for a serviette. The closers from the previous night didn't bring any serviettes from the storage room so I apologized and asked him if he would like a paper towel instead. Same shit right? He got all snobby and started saying some crap like "why cant you give me a serviette? If you cant give me a serviette you should put cheese on my toastie" At that point I got a little pissed off at him. I didn't quite get why his attitude had gotten so sour, it didnt click to me that he probably took what I said the wrong way. So i tell him with a calm face (absolutely livid inside) wait there just 1 minute okay buddy? And then I went all the way around the store, went in the storage room, took my damn time finding the serviettes, walked all the way back around and gave it to him. He wants to be pissy with me, fine. But i'll be pissy back to you. He wants his serviettes, he's gonna have to wait.
Afterwards it kinda clicked to me and I felt a little bad, kinda wanted to apologise but he didn't come around again so whatever.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables at an all you can eat place. A common stupid joke of ours is that the handicap ramp is meant to roll down after filling yourself to spherical capacity. Well... I said this to a man that I didn't realize was in a wheelchair...
SuperSponge93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Telling a muslim gentleman that one of the soft drinks we served tasted like cider.
We both shared a look that yelled, "That was dumb as fuck, but I'm trying not to laugh".
natalife03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Came to my store with a sensored shirt w/o a receipt
โI donโt know if you actually bought thatโ
MeEvilBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once while working at an independent movie theater, a woman was screaming in my face because we didn't have some movie she wanted to see. I said "well, maybe you should've looked at the big sign out front that shows what we're playing rather than throwing a temper tantrum like a child". She went silent, paused for about 15 seconds, then WHERE'S YOUR MANAGER!? I pointed to the owner's office. She stormed in the door and I just felt my heart sink since I had just started that job and was really enjoying it. Less than 30 seconds later she comes back out with the owner behind her yelling and the owner said "Would you just fucking leave already? Nobody gives a fuck if some dumb cunt can't read a sign and this is the first time I've seen you in 20 years of running this place, so don't come back, I don't give a fuck about losing a bitch customer like you". Suddenly I felt a bit more professional about what I said.
In the years after that, I learned that you can call a customer a fat dumb cunt right to their face, you just have to word it differently so that none of the actual words you say are swears, and make sure to keep the happy friendly voice going, it will drive them completely insane because they are seething angry with you yet there's nothing you said that they could really use to complain about you. The owner of that theater was awesome, but he was rarely there and the theater manager was a lot less tolerant of rude employees than customers.
TwattycakeMcGee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in sales for one of my country's 3 telcos. The area I live in is semi rural, the two "big boys" have coverage most places around me but there are still dead spots. The "new blood" at the time was piggybacking off of the larger company that was our competition. We had a customer come in saying that he was sick of the two big companies running a monopoly on the mobile phone game and after talking to the new company on the phone he had changed providers and insisted we install the new SIM card in his phone as the company he had just switched to didn't have a store in town. I calmly explained that I wasn't going to do that as I wouldn't be held responsible for any issues he had. After going off for 10 solid minutes my boss came out to see what all the commotion was about. I explained the situation and the customer insisted I was just being unhelpful because he had moved to the competition and we knew that we were going to loose all our customers within a year. My boss told me to put the sim card in and went out the back smiling. I inserted the SIM card into the customers iPhone and gave him back his phone. He said something to the effect of good riddance and left the store. The next day he came in and waited to see me telling the other staff he had a bone to pick with me. When I was free he stormed up and insisted that I had done something to the settings of his phone because he wasn't getting 4G coverage at home anymore and that his mobile was his only source of internet. He demanded I fix it. I will always remember my response because I have a behavior improvment opportunity form with what I said written on it. "I didn't break your phone. You decided to change to a shitty second rate mobile network without doing any research. You then made an ass of yourself in my store for so long that my manager gave me the go ahead to change your SIM card knowing that your coverage would be shit at home because you wouldn't let me explain the situation." He then demanded I change his SIM card back. I said "Sorry sir you will have to ask one of the other staff to assist you. I don't make a habit of selling our services to assholes." Got my first and only formal warning for that interaction. After 6 years in retail I have to admit it felt good.
__Vish__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had to deny an alcohol sale to people in front of her. She talks about how it is what it is and is happy she is old.
I tell her we will all get there someday and her eyes went blank and she became sad.
I realized after the fact that I should have said that she looks amazing and I should have carded her as a joke to make her feel better.
Damned awkward ending. She was laughing and super nice but I inadvertently destroyed her. Fuck. Felt so bad but it couldn't be saved. She was a broken and quiet woman in the aftermath. Ugh.
givemeapples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not too serious but actually happened today - I was busing some tables and asked this one guy is there was anything else I could get him. He said "well if anything, a beer would be lovely!! haha" and I, for whatever reason replied with "I wish haha!" and walked off. It wasn't until I realized a second later that I basically said I wish I could buy him a drink. I have no idea why I said that
toughshit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: Do you have crab legs on the buffet this evening?
Me: Yes sir.
Customer: MA'AM!!!
Me: Excuse me?
Customer: IT'S MA'AM!!! I'M A WOMAN, DAMN IT!!!
Me: I'm so sorry! I beg your pardon, sir... er... I mean Ma'am! Shit!
itsjustmefortoday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of years ago but where I work we say โhello, do you need any help with your packing?โ. The customer had a multipack of baked beans at the front of the shopping so my workmate accidentally said โhello, do you need any help with your beans?โ Itโs been at least ten years but it stuck in my brain.
horsepuncher22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in the office for a small business and my mate had messaged me saying he was gonna call.
The phone starts ringing so I answer the phone with the longest "Beeeeeellllllloooooooooo?!"
"... uhh is this **** paintball?"
Facepalm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing collections for a telecommunication company.
A woman kept saying she hadn't received her bills even though I personally sent them out.
She said before ending the call: "it will be interesting to see if it arrives!!!"
Me: about as interesting as watching grass grow ma'am.
Then I hung up.
paullaroy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a supermarket in my teens, saw a girl who i knew quite well that i had recently discovered had been bullying my younger sister. Horrible, horrible person. She was walking by me with her mum as i man handled a 30kg bag of potatoes.
We made eye contact and before i knew it i said "what you looking at ya stupid slag".... whoops. Her and her mum went straight to customer services, i was straight in the office with HR manager and my manager to explain my self.
HR "What did you say?"
Me "I had a 30kg bag of potatoes that i hadnt got right, it took me off balance and in my own world i said to myself, "stop making me muck up ya stupid bag... i did not speak to any customer."
HR brought it, i was back out on the floor scott free with my manager stating to me on the walk back to the shop floor "i know shes a dirty slag but just dont get caught in work time telling her that... now get them potatoes filled."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked stocking a sporting goods store and was written up for this. This huge woman 350-400 lbs, came lumbering up to me holding camo zip up jacket from the children's section that was pink and black. It was the only jacket like it that we had. She demands to know where she can get one in her size and I tell her we don't have them in her size. She goes off the deep end about how nothing in the store fits her and demands I stop what I'm doing and show her where she can find a jacket that fits her. So I told her to go look at some tents two aisles over. My boss thought it was hilarious, but still had to write me up in case she made a corporate complaint. She didn't, and two weeks later the write up was thrown away.
aarovski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked call center, I had scheduled a technician to fix the customerโs internet. It happened that the next available day was Veterans Day. She asked if the techs were working that day, and I replied โYes, Veterans Day isnโt a company recognized holidayโ. Got a long tirade about how her husband is a vet.
And no, that wasnโt one of the days that the company gave us holiday pay on. Be glad weโd have someone fix your shit then.
tvtango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a guy the pizza was for another customer, he rolled his eyes and went bluh blah bluh bluh blah blah blah. Then I did the same to him behind his back. Purposefully loud enough for him to hear. He almost leapt over the counter trying to deck me, screaming and trying to fight me
facesintrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told an irate woman to settle down recently. She did not take my advice.
BradlyHCoolKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me, over the phone: Hi! This is Sarah from Doctor Kayโs office, is Joshua there? Lady: NO! Akskdbe! M: Excuse me? L: HEโS DEAD! M: OH MY GOD! Ok! Well thatโs... thatโs good to know! L: hangs up M: heavy sigh
jesscuz24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A little off topic, but a great story. My brother worked at Office Max a couple years ago and he had a lady come in and ask for an AM/FM Sony Walkman. Iโm surprised he even knew what that was but he certainly didnโt know if they had any or where they were. So he gets on the little head set to his manager and asks if they have any walkmans, to which his manager replies โHang on, let me jump in my Delorean and check in 1998โ and my brother laughed out loud in this womanโs face. He recovered by saying they were talking about something else over the head set, but Iโd imagine the woman knew he was lying.
ellen-richardson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Serving the Monday morning line of people queueing for their coffee at a well known coffee chain, Iโm feeling super cheerful and like to be a nice friendly face to make everyoneโs mornings a little better.
A lady approaches with a huge bunch of flowers and I put my best act on and say โohhh, are those for me?! You really shouldnโt have! :Dโ.
She looks at me stone cold and replies โIโm going to a funeral actually.โ
My stomach drops to the floor and I feel like such an idiot, I canโt apologise enough and then have to painfully take her coffee order. Ugh.
danyxeleven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
late to the party, but i once worked at walmart. one night, a lady comes through my lane with a few items and swipes her card. the register tells me she got $100 cash back, so i hand it to her saying โhereโs your cash back,โ as i usually did for a variety of reasons (mostly CYA). she looks at me and says she didnโt ask for cash back, and i tell her the register says she did. i insist she takes it since its already off her card and she tells me its a company card. i tell her her best option is to take it back to her boss and tell them she accidentally pressed cash back ($100 was right next to No, may have changed by now) but she says theyโd think she did it on purpose and starts accusing me of doing cash back just to incriminate her, which is impossible unless i reached over and pressed it on her screen. sheโs getting louder and louder and i blurt out โis there a reason you think theyโd be suspicious of you?โ was getting sick of her shit but i meant it to get her to rethink things, but maybe i said it with just a little too much smartass in my voice.
after shit hit the fan, i ragequit and walked out. forunately, my manager at that time was understanding and called me in the next day to offer my my job back, which i accepted. she assured me part of the blame was on the manager on duty that night for not responding to my calls, which i had placed several as the situation escalated. i was also instructed to watch what i say to customers, and i agreed, especially because iโm pretty sure part of me meant it as it sounded, otherwise i could have worded it better. but nowadays iโd say it all over again. i canโt be fucked to pussyfoot around asshole customers. i work security now so i can kinda get away with it if iโm crafty enough.
SpiderPidge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Basically, if you buy a lot at one specific time you are considered a "whale". I decided to explain this to a clearly overweight woman who was buying a lot from my store. In fact, i told her "You are what we would consider a whale". She became very uncomfortable and I immediately realized I said it without thinking first.
I don't believe she ever came back to the store. I have issues with speaking before thinking. I felt like an asshole.
OhGodSauce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is that for here or to go"
laotsu12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did not reply to my customer's message for sometime which pissed him off.
I shouldn't have done that.
BlankZF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer come in the other day who worked at a Lazaderm clinic. Trying to make conversation, I asked her about her job, and feigned interest by asking follow up questions.
The conversation progressed and she said she specifically worked in the "injectables" department. She told me how she does Botox injections on clients. Without hesitation or social filter I (male) asked her "Are those your lips or are those Botox lips?"
She was immediately humiliated. Said they were her own, and the conversation instantly died from just being extremely awkward.
P.S. In my defense, she had really full lips.
SnoopKitties ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time a customer said "you look familiar" and I shouldn't have said "I actually star in adult film". Good thing none of my coworkers/mangers heard. The customer didn't think it was funny even though I explained that I was kidding. I just checked them out in silence until I said "thanks, have a nice day"
TitanCannon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party here, but I worked at a take and bake pizza place and when making the pizza, there's usually about 3 minutes of pizza construction that can either be filled with silence towards the customer or a light, generic conversation. With the latter, most people would mention something they liked or didn't like about the pizza and, not being one to be tied down by speaking politely or professionally at this job, my natural response is to say something along the lines of "Yeah, I feel ya there" and go along with them and pass the pizza on.
One particularly talkative guy came in on a day where I was the only one making the pizzas and ordered a vegetarian pizza, where he went on to explain that he would have to get this pizza and then head down to McDonald's and pick up more food. He then explained that this was because his kids weren't fans of vegetarian pizza. I related immediately, not liking vegetarian pizza myself, and responded with "Ah, yeah man, I feel your kids -sharp inhale-".
Not only did he not continue any more conversation, he neither thanked me nor said goodbye during the longest two minutes I've ever experienced. He just took his pizza and left. My only solace is that his kids weren't there, he might not have even taken the pizza then.
azureknightgx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:34:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How may I help you?"
Nossie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer complaining about something stupid that they should use common sense about, me not backing down ... After me being very polite and professional
Customer: So you are not going to do it for me then? Me: I appreciate you are frustrated, however we are going round in circles now.... Customer: well, fuck you. (Thought customer had hung up) Me: well, fuck you too then..... <Click>
Yeah I expected that to come back on me hard - lay low for 6 months (I had only just started)
5-6 years later I tell the story to my manager - who I coincidentally had when I first started...
Him totally buckled with laghter: "Nossie, you fucking twat... I might not have sacked you for that....
It was a very big international telecom. I can only assume the customer didn't have the phone to their ear at that point.
Pro life tip - when you are on hold to another department, your call is usually still recorded.
Can make some interesting transcripts when a customer puts in an FOIA request
Sizer11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Buddy of mine used to work at McDonald's. One of the enormous regulars lumbered up to the counter and ordered "Big Smoke" style (several combos all upsized). When my mate asked what drink, she snapped impatiently back with "Coke and make it quick" Buddy muttered under his breath as he turned around to do it "let's make that a diet coke" unfortunately for him this lady had above average hearing and threw a shit-fit. And that was the last time my buddy worked at McDonald's.
BarrySquatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not something I said, but when I worked as a waiter I was serving a woman and her blind dad. She asked for a dessert menu. I took over two.
dannerrz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i work at Jamba Juice & i was in a rush w/ only one other team member. The phone kept ringing because we take phone orders & i did not answer because i had customers in the store. when we cleared the rush, this rude old lady comes in & i say โhello, how are you today?โ she replies with โiโd be better if you guys answer the phone.โ she ordered & my team member made her drink rant away but she continues to rant about how other Jamba Juices answer the phone right away so i replied w/ โwhy donโt you go there then?โ she then asked for my name & thatโs when i knew i messed up lmao
elgoldsoul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
2 weeks ago. Greeted a table but didn't look at their faces, only saw painted nails grasping menus on both sides. Started with a "Hi ladies I'm elgoldsoul..." only to look up and see that the person on the right was a man. Felt so bad initially. He said he was used to it, but while smiling, so I couldn't tell whether he appreciated it or not lol.
D34NY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
assuming someone is pregnant. never do that.
Elevenagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a drug store and we have a card where you can gather points and get coupons. So we always ask the customer if they have a card before we start the transaction and usually they just put in a phone number and we can pull up the card.
A woman came in a few weeks ago and I asked if she had a card with us and told us that she did, so I put in the number she gave me and nothing came up. She said โoh it must be my old number. I had to change it because of my stalker ex boyfriend.โ To which I replied with, โoh why donโt you ask him what the number is?โ I totally meant it as a joke but she didnโt think it was funny. She kinda just awkward laughed and left. I spent the rest of my shift cringing at myself.
Secretagentmanstumpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a guy the truth. Classic car parts business. He seemed to want to be assured that most customers are willing to pay for quality. I told him customers will buy the cheapest crap version of whatever you are selling even if the same but much higher quality part is only a few bucks more. He seemed a bit gutted by that. Usually I lean a lot more toward reading the customer and telling them what they want to hear. Not that day. That guy got the truth.
SuperSulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work at Crispers back in high school, some woman comes in arguing with her husband/bf and can't decide what they want to get, I try helping her with some suggestions, she can't make up her mind for a good 5 minutes or so, I ask if she's having food relationship problems. Pretty sure she walked out and I think "Hm maybe that was a thing to say". It didn't help that she was overweight too.
Ah, Crispers. Had some fun times working there. Jack Johnson was playing on the radio once and I didn't know who it was, just sounded like beach music to me. When I asked who it was, he said "Girls spread their legs for that shit", and casually went back to work. As a only recently not-virgin at the time, I added Jack Johnson to my mp3 player next time I went to see my squeeze.
Also, I was broke af and could have seen Dream Theater for ~$40 near where I lived, but I didn't have $40 to spend on . . . well anything but gas really. Some guy buying a sandwich balked when I said I thought it was expensive. Ofc it was expensive, I was working for $7.25/hour. Ofc it's slightly easier for me to shell that out now since I have a better shitty job.
I also had people think we made all the soup in house. It was shipped in big bags that we reheated. Still tastes great though. That helped me understand how big companies work.
Rhysieroni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Whenever people would say they wouldn't come back to our store I would say ok.
SageLukahn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work in a music/guitar shop when I was in high school. Lady came in said her husband needed a guitar string. Turned out to be the G. I, like an idiot, said "oh, he broke his g-string eh?". It was funnier in my mind.
senorgharkstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
instead of saying "thanks mate" i said "thanks dad"
fuck i'm too late aren't i
Dbiked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Be me, 17 year old weirdo. Living in Utah, conservative area. Working in Spencer's gifts Have "adult" area, with lots of phallic devices for women. Talking to a female customer who is uncomfortable with the idea of going into said area. Say to her "I'm sure if you go in there for a minute you'll loosen up" Didn't realize what I had said until my boss pointed it out to me while laughing her ass off. I might be autistic.
JaySilver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said the โNโ word doing straight out of Hogwarts.
BarbedWireBlanket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was super hungover 4 New Years ago and I was at the mall when this girl yelled "I want attention!"
I should have definitely yelled "Me, too!"
But hangover = stoopid brain
Nox_Dei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I work for a school.
One day a student comes to me, talking about going to a forbidden part of the building (which is guarded by a dog) and I accidentally told him to play music to put doggo to sleep.
I shouldn't have said that."
Mrs_Shadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had been helping a lady pick up a couple of products fairly quickly. We didn't chat much. While at the register, I noticed a small bump in her loose and flowy sweater.
Me: Aww, how far along are you? Customer: Cold dead stare. Me: Okay... Do you want your receipt?
I wanted the earth to swallow me. NEVER assume people are pregnant no matter how much it looks like a pregnant belly until they tell you they're pregnant themselves.
ElectricalSundae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
But shit, it was 44 cents!
Noliandur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was all several years ago.
I was working as a cashier at a gas station convenience store, and I was dating my coworker. (We are now married) she worked the morning shift and I the evening.
During my then girlfriend's shift, a man came in and asked for an application. We had recently started only accepting online applications, and the customer was informed that we did not have paper applications and that she should apply online. Small incident, didn't even come up during shift change that day.
During my shift, at around 4pm, a woman came in and started yelling at me about how her husband was discriminated against by not being given an application, and "that bitch" from the morning shift should be fired. Every time it seemed like she had finished, I tried to start to explain that we don't do paper applications anymore, or that I would talk to my manager, I could only get a couple words in before she would go off again.
After she had called my then girlfriend a bitch to my face a few times and cut me off I finally lost it and I told her "That bitch is my coworker and my girlfriend and you will not speak about her that way. You had better-" at which point she started yelling and I pointed at the door and started yelling (I don't really remember what was said exactly) and she stormed out the door.
I thought it was over but then I saw her outside yelling at my gas attendant, so I followed her out and told her I would call the police if she didn't leave. She left after that. But she did call corporate and complained and they found out we were dating, so we had to never have overlapping shifts after that and got written up.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I sell computers. I sold one to a lady without WiFi because she never asked about it, never mentioned it once. She flipped a shit and called me a ton of names.
I had already given her a $350 discount and a screen, keyboard, AND mouse for free, and offered to buy her a WiFi dongle off Amazon (they're like $10).
I got fed up with her shit, so I said "It's not my fault your husband left you, but now I can see why."
Suffice to say she was not happy.
I ended up calling the police because she harassed me for days afterwards, spamming social media profiles, called me from at least 10 different numbers, and in the end I got the PC back and she went to jail, but damn, the headache was not worth it.
Golden-Sun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Bit of backstory. It was during a day the freezers were working overtime making the ice-cream rock solid. So trying to scoop it was like chiseling granite with a toothpick. I sold an ice cream to a young kid but I couldn't push it down into the cone without shattering the cone and as always they never want a cup because it has to be a cone. So the kid goes off and a little while later a fat woman approaches me cone and ice cream in hand and says the ice-cream fell out gives it to me and says she wants a new one.
Little annoyed but ok so I go to get her a new ice-cream and in a smug tone she calls out "and this time push it into the cone". I turn and say "There's no need to be rude but the ice-cream is hard as a rock and won't go into the cone without breaking it". I probably shouldn't've begun with "no need to be rude" because this set her off "How rude don't talk to me like that!". Again I probably should not have engaged "I'm not being rude for saying that you were being rude".
Needless to say, I received a complaint, the boss (who is awesome) just told me not to say that to a customer and informed me that if a customers ice-cream falls out I can give them one free. His stepson who also works there told me I should have kissed ass because they were a customer (don't know what happened to him because he use to be a chill bro)
Prsop2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work customer service for a fruit flavored tech company. Lady walked up wagging her phone at me, the word โiPhone is disabled.โ On the screen. She says โIโm disabled...โ to which I replied, โIโm sorry to hear that, whatโs wrong with your phone?โ
She must have been in a great mood because she laughed.
Jachown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It not what I said, but my ringtone years ago was "weak and powerless" by A Perfect Circle. Yeah not the song you want to playing while your helping a patient do physical therapy. Nearly broke my phone trying to silence it...๐คฆโโ๏ธ
ckaz09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A few years ago working in a bank, Friday, teller live busy as fuck because of course it is.
Patience by the end of the day, gone.
Enters incompetent, lazy regular who refuses to have any other teller wait on them.
Not really wanting to be there anymore and just want to go home. Customer taking his sweet ass time signing his withdrawal slip, and I can't tell him to step out of line and rejoin the queue when he's prepared.
Impataiently hoping he'd hurry up and not really paying attention, he starts complaining about his business that he can't manage the funds for and is constantly bouncing checks.
Customer - "I have an AR, maybe I should just blow my brains out"
Me - "Sounds like a great solution to me"
Customer - "...."
Me - "How do you want you cash?"
Note: customer did not suicide and is still driving the staff nutty, I left a few months later
mrsmornington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very โdo you know who I am?โ customer once.....this never goes well with me and I lost it. My response โI donโt care, you join the line like the rest of everyoneโ
rionkhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
School trip like ten years ago some kid telling our group how a kid he knew hanged himself on a basketball hoop. Without missing a beat I blurt out "nothing but net" and gave a quick chuckle. No thought whatsoever.
DebaJean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting on a table of four sisters, in a beach town. They were all very friendly. Three of them talking about recently having kids. I asked the 4th when she was going to have kids too (no idea why I said that) she bursts into tears and tells me she just had a miscarriage. Come to find out they all flew in from different parts of the country to console her and have a sisters weekend. I felt like the biggest ass ever.
Pumbaathebigpig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a croupier in a blackjack tournament in an Australian casino. As you moved the first bet marker around the tablet to each player in turn you had to check they had finished checking on the size of the bet. I was saying to each player in turn whilst pointing to each of their bets in turn "You're in". This I realised was the same as pointing at their bets and saying "Urine". It was fine as a joke inside my head until I realised the punters were taking it the same way and looking positively pissed off. I kept going for the full hour. Urine, urine, urine, urine urine. We all knew
russiantoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I routinely ask customers "How are you doing?" Because it's required by my job. One night I was actually in a very good mood so I asked this one lady how she was In a pretty cheerful tone. She replied"not too well, I just want the day to end", and my stupid self replied with "At least you aren't dead" (which usually got some laughs from other customers. She looks me straight in the face and says "My mom just died" . There was major awkward silence. And then a week or two later the same lady came up and I complimented her cute dolphin necklace and she goes "thank you. It has my son's ashes". Now I pretty much keep my mouth shut around customers except for what I'm required to say.
dbt29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came in to look at a pair of shoes. I walked up to his left side and asked if he needed a hand. He turned to face me and to my dismay I see that he doesn't have his right hand. He didn't acknowledge my shocked facial expression as I realised what I had just said, but wow that was an awkward one
jfcmsb11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
super late to this and also wasnt my comment to a customer but my cousins. she was working at a pizza place when she received a call for a pizza to be picked up. the lady asking for the pizza put her order in, picked it up, and got all the way home when she decided it was โtoo hotโ so she calls back and my cousin answers the phone, lady is complaining about the hotness of said pizza and my cousin is like โwell is it too hot like the temperature or too hot like spiciness?โ lady got super aggravated by that question and just went in on my cousin, so without thinking my cousin just says โlady there is a pizza place across the street, maybe you shouldโve called themโ so yeah, obviously the lady went mental but when my cousin told me the story she was just like โi was being honest, how was that a wrong thing to say???โ
Ashleighbell032 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a coworker; we work inbound customer service for a cleaning/kitchen company. He was trying to explain to his customer that we held up our end of the warranty by setting up an order for just shipping, but it wonโt leave the warehouse until the defective product is shipped back (using a prepaid label that we provide) and she was refusing to send in the product. Saying it wasnโt her problem and she shouldnโt have to deal with it. He very calmly says โwell maโam if you donโt ship us your defective product we wonโt send you a new one, then it becomes your problem doesnโt it?โ
Yeaaars ago, I was setting up and order for warranty in which the charge is $1 (plus tax). I give the customer his total and he gets irate that he has to pay $1.09 for a brand new product (even though his was technically out of warranty and I was doing it as a gesture) I then explain to him that heโll need to print off a prepaid label and drop the unit off at fedex. He starts screaming and cussing me out โoh so not only do I have to give you crooks $1.09 of MY money but I also have to use MY ink and MY gas for a label and drop off!!??โ I say โsir of course you donโt have to. Because you are out of warranty I can also just replace your machine with a new one for $53+sh. Does that work better for you since the $1.09 is too much and youโre too entitled to print a label and drop it off?โ ... he took the $1.09 option.
Edit to add Just a few weeks ago, I had a customer call me stupid because they didnโt get that when youโre 3 years out of warranty we donโt cover the cost of replacement parts (it wasnโt even broken). When she said โgod are you stupid?!โ I said โwell, Iโm getting paid to tell you how to fix your blender, and you think itโs broken because the lid is on backwards.. soooooo...โ luckily I caught myself before I finished the sentence lolol
kylexxyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lol just realize that you mentioned when you said you'll retire, my wife and I will definitely be retiring before that age with a solo-401(k) as well as our rental property and any other investments we make in the future. Her parents are the ones that introduced us to it and own a few whilst also working for now and they will both be retiring at around 50 and 55 respectively, and they both go back to South America (where they are from) for around 1 month a year as well as smaller vacations over a weekend or etc a few times a year. They're very frugal and smart about their money and it's cheap to live where they go vacation every year because the standard of living is lower there, but it's largely their intelligent investments that allow them to do that as well as will retire at right around the same age as you plan to. Had they started investing at the age of me or my wife, they would likely already be retired. So again, that's all well and good for you, no need to be insulting because you don't have any substantive response to what I said about investing, but again it really sounds like you've made some poor investment choices if that's your plan, and it doesn't make me lazy for achieving or more with less work. That's really good you're planning and you'll retire, really not being facetious, but I'd rather retire with all the equity $ in a dozen or so rental homes, as well my full retirement benefits, and still take vacations as my wife's parents do/will retire soon... that's why I think it's a bad investment strategy just to work a little tiny bit more as opposed to going back to school or making intelligent investments to retire much earlier with more time/money for vacations and etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was coming around the corner and had been having a conversation with a co-worker, I said loudly โyeah, Iโm sure glad Iโm not a parapalegic!โ And there was a man in a wheel chair right there, he looked at me kinda sadly and said, โitโs paraplegic.โ
Thyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A combination of what I said and did. I have one client that is particularly frustrating and when I get frustrated I tend to drum my fingers.
I was on the phone to them one day listening to them tell me how our software works and how I should be dealing with the particular issue they had (which was all totally incorrect) and I start drumming my fingers on my laptop. The chap I am speaking to stops talking and says "Are you drumming your fingers? Am I annoying you?" and my only fall back is to say in a slightly sarcastic way "No, what ever would make you think that?"
The result of this was that particular person not speaking to me for a week and other people calling me instead. They still frustrate the fuck out of me and that won't change but I not drum my fingers on solid surfaces anymore...!
orhchichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a customer. I went for a speed dating event at a cafรฉ. Duty call, asked the waitress for the toilet. She kindly pointed the direction, and said "Enjoy" =). I didn't realized how weird was that until I started taking off my pants.
njklein58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in a really bad mood working one day. And I couldnโt help a customer on an issue they had. Instead of apologizing and explaining the situation, I gave them one of the most passive aggressive responses. I just sorta shrugged, and made a clicking sound with my tongue. Just one of those things you do when youโre basically saying โoh well thenโ Customer didnโt look angry as much as she looked kinda hurt by my reaction. I kinda stood there and then cleared my throat and tried my best to fix what I did, and to give them some kind of help, but the whole thing was awkward as hell after that.
Chaz042 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
From the customer side, a guy was trying to push a $65/user/month 2yr term management utility for my team of three people. The guy screws up after I mentioned a competing product and basically told me how they have a free tier now. Sure enough, after the call I pulled up the competing software and they offer three users for free for life on prem.... If you must know, they didn't get the sale.
MaxxiBr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a gas station, customer pays and I think he's about to leave and then says "Oh I have something for you!" I was getting all excited because it really sounded like a tip or maybe some chocolate or something. He then hands me a little booklet and I ask him what it is (big mistake) so he starts talking about this church group and what they stand for and what they do, checking behind him if there's someone else in line but there wasn't so he just kept talking. I knew I had to do something or else I'd be trapped in this "conversation" for ages. So I hand him the booklet back and say "I'm a gay Satanist, I don't need this" The look on his face was priceless, a mix of confusion, anger. But I was honestly shocked that I just actually said that while he stormed off.
nokidding88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
my customer was escalating me because we were delayed with a router installation on one of their sites. we were trying to hide it for months last year, that during first installation the field technician took their own router away with himself to his Mothercompany's warehouse and they fucking sold it to someone else ! one of our calls was about this and I accidentally said that my idiot colleague took it away and now they cannot find it. It was not that sort of rude against customer but I should not say things like this about my own colleague, even if it's very true..
Talidel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a bookshop at the time. There was a kid about 7-8 years old playing up in front of the till. Nothing to bad just the usual being loud and touching the till tat, he obviously isn't interested in being in the shop.
A woman walked over from another part of the store with a few books to buy. She looked at the kid, then looked at me and pointedly rolled her eyes.
Now the kid wasn't bothering me, but we'd recently been told to engage more with customers. So I sort of shrugged and said "yeah, but what can you do" like it was bothering me, but not enough to do anything.
She turned slapped the kid across the back of the head, and went full batshit mum mode on the poor kid. "I can't believe you've done this, embarrassing me in front of the nice man!" Was the bit that stuck out.
After a few minutes she turned back to buy the books, while I'd probably gone white as a sheet. No longer interested in building rapport I just scanned them ASAP. Not one was kid friendly, it wasn't a shock the kid wasn't interested in being there. She'd obviously not been bothered to try and get him interested.
That added "don't say anything about a minorly disruptive kid" to my list of things not to say to women. It's right below "when is the baby due".
drewwpresleyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Subway for a few months and literally told a customer Iโd โrather be naked on a beachโ when asked how my day was. My coworker looked at me slack-jawed and simply said โdude, you canโt talk like that...โ
thefabulousbomb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We were getting ready to close and he started insisting that I should give him bowling (bowling/arcade) I explained that I canโt cos I donโt even have a till and because I was locked out of the system (it shuts everyone out once the tills are gone) he then insisted that he should get it free and tried starting an argument. I get security to deal with him and he started arguing โthe customers always rightโ and I just replied back โyeah except when theyโre wrongโ and started laughing. I couldโve got in so much trouble but thankfully my manager found it as funny as I did and we both agreed that it was too late at night to deal with assholes
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm always late to the questions I have an answer to.
One time I was working a checkout in a pound shop and dealing with a really rude customer, throwing his money down, really poor body language and moaning at the prices (in a pound shop). Anyway, I was super tired that day and wasn't sleeping well at the time, so when I went to say thank you as he walked away it came out "fuck you." It was very audible.
Luckily enough, he didn't hear me but the girl behind him did. As I frantically tried to defend myself she laughed and said "don't worry, I understand the pain"
Edit: Grammar.
bangout123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working retail a few years ago, this prim and proper looking middle aged woman comes in to collect the order she placed online. I go out back to get it and there's a lot of stuff in the bag, she looks surprised and said "WOW! That is a lot bigger than I expected" without thinking I replied "That's what she said". My coworker burst out laughing. Customer wasn't pleased.
OfficialDatGuyisCool ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
one time, i was working at a news agency (i was 14 at the time) and a guy was buying a porn mag and i said "good choice".
micasubs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working the cash register at this restaurant on Halloween night and this older gentleman comes in.
Heโs skimming the menu and doesnโt really know what to order so he asks me what my top favorite item on the menu is and my brain being on autopilot, I say โI really like the water here,โ and immediately cringe at myself cause customers donโt usually take jokes well but then he asks me for my second favorite and I say โThe ice here is just spectacular if you ask me...โ
He actually laughed and said โWell, youโre a brat arenโt youโ in a very joking manner. What a cool guy.
the_long_way_round25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a costumer per se, but I'm not good with secrets, like the one time I told a this boy and his friends shit about Nicholas Flamel and how to get past a three headed dog. Should not have said that!
Tha_Croat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Sooo I work in retail at a small local store, and as mos people in retail know, you can be a dick all you want but you'll be laughed at the moment you're gone.
Well, small problem, this particular customer apparently wasn't done with her rant, and came back for a second round. With us laughing at her.
Fun times.
clemlydia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work as a receptionist, bar tender and waitress in a hotel. I was on a 0 hour contract so I had to take the shifts when they came, which meant sometimes working until gone 10pm, then getting to work for 7am to do the breakfast shift. One week my hours were particularly awful, so I was exhausted. We had one customer who had stayed before and was known to be incredibly rude - shouting at staff and complaining about absolutely everything.
Over a few days, I had to deal with him on multiple occasions as he complained about the food, the room, the service - everything . The last day of his stay, I checked him out, and he spent at least 5 minutes just yelling at me about everything that had gone wrong. I managed to keep my cool and remain civil. His closing remark, as he walked away, was: โI will NEVER stay here againโ. Without thinking, I said: โwell thatโs just fine with meโ. He heard, turned back around and picked right back up where heโd finished shouting about how awful the hotel and itโs staff were, and of course demanding to see my manager.
If Iโd just kept my mouth shut...
C-sanova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in the produce department of a grocery store. Since I was secluded to a corner I never really ventured to the outer portions of the store. One day I had gotten called to an aisle to help a customer search for pita bread. We walked up and down the aisle but couldn't find it anywhere, but eventually we had stumbled upon it in a very obvious spot. It was an awkward amount of time to find it and I noticed they were getting frustrated so I jokingly said "I guess we should both get our eyes checked out". I had never really took the time to look at the customers features but I suddenly noticed her very noticeable lazy eye. She had shrugged and said "I guess" with kind of a put down tone. I had never felt so bad after helping a customer.
cool_dad86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16, needed the money and took a shitty in black 12hr work for minimal wage writing classified ads in a newspaper, i was always tired, since i was the youngest and only employee that hadnt been there for over a decade angry customers always assumed the ad they placed and came out wrong had gone through me, one day some 40+ yo woman starts going nuts on me and i answer screaming, "suck my c**k" and slammed the window on her.
A lady that worked there and was like the office's grandma saw it all and decided to help me, i still dont know how she defused that bitch but she did.
Pielover19x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working in a call centre when I had a caller who wanted a fabric sample so she could decide if she wanted to buy from us or a competitor. the competitor had a sale on and we couldn't get her the sample before the sale ended. I said that she might be better off taking advantage of the sale....she wanted to talk to my manager for saying that.
MsKittyFantastico31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've been working in customer service for years and I always stay polite no matter how hard they whine but once in a while I have a customer that just knows how to push my buttons. Once I was helping such a customer; he was whining and wanted something that just wasn't possible. So in a moment of despair I said: "Sir, I've give you all your options and you've shut them all down, for God's sake what more do you want from me". He got really quiet and then said in a sad voice: "I don't like that you are using the Lord's name in vain" and hung up. Although I'm not religious myself, I like to act respuctful to people who are relegious and I felt really bad about it.
PhoenixEgg88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work at a call centre. We give customers a 4 hour window eta for a visit. Had someone ring up and come through to me
โIโm chasing a visit your message said would be between 9:20 and 1:20โ
Me without even thinking that Iโm at work and this is a customer
โItโs 1:19 mate letโs not jump the gunโ
Luckily didnโt escalate but there are times where real me leaks through if work me doesnโt catch it in time
reavesfilm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
You think I wouldโve learned the first time, but I hate the human race so...
I was a server for a couple years, and my disdain for people who donโt read the fucking menu was off the charts.
Any time, and I mean ANY time a customer would ask, โWhatโs on the Hawaiian Burger?!โ, or, โWhatโs in your Cobb Salad?!โ My only response would be, โOh itโs right there in the menu.โ Iโd then stand there and wait for them to read it.
I shit you not, 9/10 times they already knew what was in the fucking food.
offensivegrandma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I deal cards in a casino.
Some jag off complained heโd lost $30k that week.
โThatโs almost five times what I pay in rent in a year.โ
Whoops! Not what you tell someone who is losing their shirt!
OooooooopsIEatAss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay so I made a throwaway for this because I'm still embarrassed. I am I white, which will become important.
Okay so I had a boogie in my nose that needed extracted badly. So I went over to the little cabinet thing and got a paper towel so I could get this dude out of my nose. While I had my head down towards the floor and once my fingers were about knuckle deep, I heard someone say "Getcho fingers out ya nose!" Kind of playfully and somewhat recognizably. I assumed it was one of my buddies that came to visit me at work. As I'm turning my head to look at whomever was talking to me, I said "I'm just trying to get the out, boy." Unfortunately for me, it wasn't a friend of mine, it was a black man, that understandably got upset at me calling him boy.
In my moment of "what the fuck did I just say," I panicked and rather than apologising I just look at him with the face of regret and said "I'll get my manager to help you"
ELpork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"How can I help you? "I'd like to pay my bill." "Bill pay?" "Yes sir."
...it was a lady.
BecSedai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:06:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked a totally benign question, but at the wrong time. Selling a lady a bra and just trying to make conversation while we process the payment. I ask "any plans for the weekend?" "no, unfortunately" "oh well, a nice weekend at home then" She sighs heavily "I'm meant to be in Bali this weekend for my wedding. My fiance and family are over there. My doctor told me I wasn't allowed to fly, so I'm home by myself this weekend" I made commiserating statements, but I'm pretty sure I said nothing of substance after that! What do you say to that?! Ugh, I felt so bad for her!
cheet09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for Sling (the over the internet TV company.) We had recently changed policies to where we didn't give refunds anymore unless it was like fraud or serious because if you just forgot to cancel the free trial, it's kinda your fault.
Anyway, this dude calls up with his bank on the phone. I explain in the T&C's it clearly explains that if you forget to cancel we won't give your money back. He proceeds to tell me it was broken and wouldn't work, this is like month 3 with no prior calls. I told him we would've been happy to help him fix it but we didn't know it was broken so we can't fix something that we don't know is broken, but I still can't give a refund.
He then proceeds to ask rant and it goes roughly as follows:
Customer: Do you like watches? Me: I guess. C: No, do you like watches?? M: Sure. C: If you went into a watch store, and bought a broken watch, wouldn't you expect your money back??? M: I wouldn't buy a broken watch. C: ......Don't be a smart ass and answer the question! If you bought a broken watch wouldn't you want a refund?!? M: I still wouldn't buy a broken watch. Bank Guy: Mr. Customer, you still there?
He wasn't.
OpticTracer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Dude had one arm, was buying a carton of beer and I asked him if he wanted a hand. Wanted to melt into the floor.
Brallon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working night shifts at a hotel. We have a strong policy against guest bringing company up to the room, after 11 in the evening (That is, company that is unannounced earlier on the day) - this is for two main reasons: - fire safety, we need to know who is in every room, at every time. - prostitution, we don't want people to bring prostitutes to our rooms.
Well, when a guy drunk as hell want to bring a girl, half his age up, gets angry when you stop them... giving them reason 1 is quite easy. But people tend to not get too happy when you call their wives prostitutes - ...we received wedding photographs and some very angry emails two days later
belzarek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer but a patient, im a doctor and was on call one night and got called to see a patient desaturating (low oxygen in the blood so short of breath ) his wife was present and when i arrived she was really stressed and told me '' do something i don't want him to die '' and i jokingly answered '' me neither, too much paperwork '' which made the patient laugh and cough and desaturate even more while his wife was standing there staring at me with hate in her eyes!
Ps:the patient was fine in the end and I had seen him before and knew that it was his kind of humor, I wouldn't have done this joke with any random patient
kulayeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a call center and the customer was angry over something irrelevant and said something in the line of "why don't you fuck off"
I replied "at your service" and ended the call right there and cut him off. This is a huge insult in our culture and when my supervisor came to talk to me about it (he listened to the call because customer called and complained) I just said "I did as he asked"
techtom10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a retail phone store and a women came into return a phone with made up reasons (long story) I told her she was wrong and she wasnโt miss-sold.
She said โare you calling me a liarโ and for some reason Drake and Josh came to mind and I said โwell I ainโt calling you a trutherโ.
She didnโt quite understand that and my boss quickly intervened.
plonkerboy900 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:14:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I did a brief stint in a coffee shop at a service station, so people would come in after or part way through a long drive to get a coffee.
I was working 4-11 that day and my shift was almost over.
A man walks up and asks for a cup of tea. Now at this point I was very new and hadn't been trained on the coffee machines yet. But anyone can make a cup of tea, so I was entrusted with that task.
The process of making a cup of tea here is just putting the tea bag in the cup, boiling the water and filling the cup, and then giving it to the customer to add their own milk/sugar.
So I boiled the kettle, placed a tea bag in the cup, poured some boiling water, and gave it to him.
Little did I know that there was actually a small amount of limescale that had floated to the top of the cup. Perhaps the kettle was due for a clean.
The man saw this and promptly asked "what's this floating in my tea? And without pausing to assess the situation, I replied "that's a tea bag."
Needless to say he didn't find it funny. I made him a fresh cup and that was the end of it.
hulugod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a server so I quite often find myself in situations that require me to talk to people i usually wouldnโt interact with.
I remember one time I was talking to a husband, his wife and their kid. I asked them what they did for work. The husband said he worked in the oil field. I then looked to the wife, as she was silent and for some God-forsaken reason I asked..
โAnd you? Do you just stay at hom-.โ
I froze mid sentence as the familyโs smile flipped. I quickly changed the subject and started talking about my mom. Iโm still surprised they tipped me over 20%.
OTTERS_KINGDOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work in a holiday camp managing their premium restaurant.
Had a group or 10 or so arrive are ask for a table. Now, this was on a Sunday morning of a party weekend (adults only) so everyone was hungover, dark shades on & popping paracetamols. So, he asked for a table with a very raspy deep voice that kept breaking so just to make a little conversation I asked if heโd had a long night? He gave me black stare & said โNo?, whyโd you ask?โ Now this is when I knew Iโd fucked it huge. He looked genuinely perplexed & I had 10 slightly uncomfortable faces. I had a little turtle head poking out now & knew I was not able to dig myself out of whatever hole I was about to find myself in so approached naively & said โso how did you lose your voice?โ. He wasnโt a small bloke, that alpha male character of every big English Family who can open Walnuts with his hand & was probably friends with the Kray Twins. He very softly just said โlost it 10 years ago mate, throat cancerโ. The uncomfortable faces turned to disappointment, mine went red & my turtle showed itโs head. I actively avoided that section all afternoon & wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
jas0485 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I said, "Thank you, sir," to a middle aged woman. I worked at one of the Santa stops at Disney World during my college program and it was the end of the night and I was on auto-pilot, obviously. She was pissed and I don't blame her; i should have been more focused. I apologized profusely but i always felt bad about it.
EmmaSilja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A costumer complained that none of his lottery tickets paid off. I told him to stop buying them then. He got a flip and had to be carried out by my manager
R0b0tBunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Older, shorter, and slightly heavier lady was mad a certain Target brand of bras (the size she wanted was Double D) did not fit her. We were out in the other brands and this pink tag brand did but their sizing is jank and meant for girls with less curves (or none at all) to be honest. Probably should have said that instead of "For younger girls" because she tried to snap back with "Oh so I'm old now?"
She was already having a fit over bras and was for some reason unwilling to accept we were out of that size at the time. I made suggestions to try larger stocked Targets, even try department stores since they have more brands. Nope. I just told her I'm sorry it came off that way and if she wanted me to check other stores I'll be in some nearby locations. She tried to get the last word in but once I walked away from a customer I shut their voice out and get back to whatever thing I was trying to do beforehand.
Nesx13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working as a Lifeguard in Germany... and in Germany you canโt just walk up to strangers and say โyouโ (German: Du) that would be like calling some strangers by their first name in America when you first met them. Anyway there was this really rude, small guy, probably 1,60m tall and he approached me with a stupid complaint in a rude way and instantly said โduโ to me. Already pissed by his approach I responded: โare we friends or why are you saying โduโ to me?โ To which he said that it was fine because from the looks I am 20 at best. I gave him a really disrespecting look and said he has the height of a 12 year old and I am still treating him as an adult. I immediately thought โaight good bye workโ luckily he never complained. He went complete apeshit and left.
BritWithAConscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work full-time for a higher end supermarket in the UK, and this happened a couple of days before Christmas 2016. Christmas is always a super busy period for us, like any supermarket in the UK. I work behind the food service counters at said supermarket and this day was especially busy as weโre open slightly earlier and close slightly later than normal trading hours.
Working at an upmarket supermarket includes working with particularly difficult, snooty customers but unfortunately thatโs part of the job. One man in particular would come in daily (oddly enough when there was only one of us between the two counters) and spend a good 20 minutes browsing both the meat and fish counters, deliberately asking for irregular cuts of meat and leaving us with tiny cuts we then couldnโt sell, or heโd ask for 8 fish and ask they all be gutted or filleted deliberately berating and criticising our technique as we were doing so making sure that everyone waiting in the ever growing line could hear him. Heโs also the kind of person to haggle despite store policy being that prices as marked, are final. Just to add insult to injury heโd then usually discard the items on dry goods shelves so theyโd get warm and weโd not be able to use them again, seemingly as some sick sport to him. We complained to management about him, but as is the way in retail - theyโd rather not have the hassle of having an angry customer, even though we had that most days.
On this particular day we extremely busy what with customer orders being picked up for Christmas, those whoโd left food shopping way too late and those looking for bargains. No matter how fast we work, the line seemingly never shortened. After being on the couch for around 4 hours constantly serving without so much as a water break, I look up and who do I see? Of course itโs our buddy, Mr FuckFace. I ask him if I can help, and he looks up at me with piercing eyes and an evil smirk and begins to peruse the counter as he usually does. He goes on a rather offensive rant about how the reason the line is so long is because they hire โinexperiencedโ worker such as myself and that if I couldnโt work in retail which was the โlowest of the lowโ then there wasnโt a place in this world for me. Without realising I muttered under my breath โfor fuckโs sake, would you just fuck offโ however, I hadnโt muttered it. Iโd In fact said it quite loudly as it so happens. I then held what must have been the longest awkward silence of my entire life, and it ended with me walking off to serve another customer. My colleague went to serve him in my place, and for whatever reason the best I could muster up at that point was โNo, donโt serve the mean meat-manโ. Iโve never regretted using a phrase more in my life.
Joe-Schmeaux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:22:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This lady called our pizzeria several times a week in the late mornings with the same delivery order that she put on the same debit card. I have this thing with numbers, and it was early and I wasn't awake yet and she was terribly slow when reciting her numbers, and one morning I said the last four of her card in unison with her, matter-of-factly. I heard an angry, "What?" and immediately cringed and called for the manager. I have no idea what he said but that lady paid cash from then on.
SmokkeyTheBare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was 18, waiting breakfast tables at a posh hotel restaurant. We have a huge selection of tea but only offer tea for tea time (2 to 4 for you heathens). For this one couples' drinks I offered oj, water, or coffee, or a selection of tea. Big mistake. Everyone in the room heard that and when I went to the other tables everyone had made a tea selection. I had to do 2x the work because I was in tea serving mode. Oh yeah breakfast is complementary so tips are based on good service not things they order. Tldr: people heard me say we offered tea when we normally didn't. Had to work more for same money
BonsaiWeed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a receptionist at a local clinic. A young woman comes in and tells that she has been assaulted by her boyfriend. I ask if she was allright. She just looks at me and snorts (the disgusted kind) "What do you think?". Was not the proudest moment of my life, but she got help in the end.
LilithImmaculate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at a skate shop and we began to sell scooters. We were really bitter about selling scooters cause skater kids and scooter kids don't get along.
A guy comes in and comments on a brand of scooters we just stocked. I said something like "yeah I don't even know why we are selling these things. We're meant to be a skate shop."
Guy was the owner of the company. I was the manager of the store. Fuck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Similar story. I worked at a gun store and the gunsmith made a comment about some high end bicycles (I donโt remember the brand). He said something about how they used to the good quality but had gone to shit and werenโt worth the money. The customer he said it too was the owner of a local bike dealer and was the exclusive dealer for that brand in our area.
Of course the guy got pissed and went storming out. OUR owner was there but he didnโt say anything for some reason.
asiansatemedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:33:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who had a really bad day, she was working at a pizza place and a guy got there a bit early, and he was like โthe app told me to come early so i didโ and she was like โwell itโs still in the oven so i guess youโre just going to have toWAIT โ in a super sarcastic tone and then did the biggest eye roll she could, then she told the manager and she got fired.
TLDR; donโt be rude or youโll get fired
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was putting carts away at the grocery store I worked at and some woman walked up to me and grabbed my hair (!!!) because she didn't like that I had purple hair. I stepped out of her reach and said "DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR" and she got really mad because idk
I_am_who_follows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a lady on the phone when working customer care and she wouldn't let me explain anything. She kept yelling I don't care, I don't care! No matter how hard I tried. I am a really patient being, but this woman made me lose my temper. So after a good 10 minutes of me trying to work things out for her and she still responding with "I DON'T CARE", I yelled back at her that Idon't care about her either and hung up. She never called back or complained about my behavior, lucky me.
watermelon_sim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:38:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't dealing with a customer, but as a costumer I was about to receive my iced mocha when the lady said thanks, enjoy! I didn't think she would say anything so out of the suddenness I said thanks, you too!
anitabonghit705 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:39:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer telling me he can take a four hour drive to the next town over to get product cheaper. I just had enough that day. Without thinking with the boss standing right behind me, go and buy it there.
IgnorantAndApathetic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:40:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was giving out ice cream to this incredibly rude guy who kept complaining about virtually everything I did and when he said "you can't be serious about this" at one point, i replied with something like "I am seriously annoyed by your attitude".
Doesn't sound too bad but he looked like he was about to explode. Luckily no one else heard that. Could have gotten me in trouble.
maharajah_or_majong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you need a hand finding anything?"
Customer turns to face me, revealing that he has only one hand.
It's happened twice now.
MageFood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:43:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I need hands on he'll finding this product
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Black Friday many years ago, I was working at Best Buy and not having any of it. Currently taking care of a bunch of customers and some angry woman comes up to me screaming that she needs help finding The Sims. There was a gigantic Sims rack behind her. Huge fucking sign. Anyways I told her where it was, and she demands that I personally show her.
...
So I showed her where it was... I told her to follow my lead and turned around to face the rack and said something like,
โOh hey there it is! Wow! So simple!โ
She ended up reporting me to any manager she could find. We all had a laugh about it the next day. That woman was just an entitled bitch.
amymorgan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:44:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a petrol station and before customers use the petrol pumps, I have to push a button on the till to authorise it.
Customer comes in... C: Hi pump 15 Me: Ok thatโll be- C: why did it take so long for the pump to activate? Me: Because its a Sunday morning and Im tired and slow.
Dunno why I said it but it made him shut up and made my colleague laugh. He promptly paid and left.
06046702 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Call center/tech support worker here, and Iโm new to it.
Iโd been trying to think of a phrase to use on asshole callers without getting in trouble, but itโs tougher than it sounds. I canโt cuss or lie or say anything blatantly rude, but I needed it to convey the right message. โI hope your [malfunctioning electronic product] explodes in your hand and burns off your knuckle hair.โ Or something like that.
I blurted out the perfect phrase a few weeks ago, I think. A call popped up on my screen and I hit the โanswerโ button. Before I could say anything, I heard the guy yelling. I finally managed to get out my greeting and he said - this is a quote - โGreat, Iโve been transferred again.ย Iโve talked to so many stupid fucking people today.โ He spent the next several minutes dropping F bombs,ย talking shit, telling me how much money he earns, etc. So I leaned back in my chair and sat silently while he made an ass of himself.ย
When he finally stopped bitching, I said nothing. A few seconds of silence ticked by and he said, โHello?ย Are you still there?โ I said, โYep, Iโm still here. Just waiting for you to wrap it up.โย
Hoooo boy.... I donโt know what it is about the phrase โwrap it up,โ but it REALLY pisses people off. The first time I said it was an accident. Since then, Iโve tried it two more times, on purpose, and the effect was roughly the same.
But I did not cuss, didnโt lie, and wasnโt rude. All rules followed, all requirements met!
Tr3ytyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:47:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of relevant, kind of not. I work for geek squad in Texas (Iโm saying Texas so you have an idea of the culture in the area) and greet people with โHows it going sir!?โ Or โhow we doing today maโam?โ And I had it in the back of mind that Iโll probably one day come across somebody that.. maybe doesnโt wanna be called sir or maโam.. and I finally did, had a gentlebeing who was probably in their late 30s come in with their mother and I said just that, โhow can I help ya sir?โ. And he immediately reacted with โoh so Iโm sir now to you? Okayโ and I was a little phased but I moved on with finding out what was going on with their computer and right as I was about to figure out what the deal was he spoke up and said โyou know what? Iโm not giving my business to you, well go somewhere to get this fixed. I canโt believe you treat your customers with that kind of disrespectโ and they left.
Iโve never felt so fucking weird in my entire life. Like seriously what planet am I on right now lmfao.. I couldnโt help but laugh about the whole thing like what the hell.
TLDR ; 2018
ReedYyyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
First time doing the drive thru at McDonalds
Gave the food to the customer
I said "have a good day"
It was 11:30pm
They laughed and drove off
:(
wpso46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a clerk in a small town grocery store as a teenager years ago. The owner of the store and I would constantly argue over various topics throughout the entirety of my 6 year tenure at the store. She almost exclusively won every argument, as at the time, she was woman in her 40โs who had many life experiences. I, on the other hand was a high schooler.
One day, we were behind the counter having a convo/argument about karate of all things. My position was, that I believed karate to be a fairly useless skill in the real world. Having taken a few years worth of lessons from the only local karate instructor in town, (and having obtained a yellow belt) I felt I knew better than she did about the topic.
As we were going back and forth about the ancient form of self-defense, an elderly woman approached and I began ringing up her groceries. I proceeded to argue my point about karate as I scanned her items. The elderly customer seemed to perk up listening to the exchange, and she gave a little smile as she dug in her purse for her pocketbook.
I noticed that the store owner was having a hard time arguing against my superior knowledge of the martial arts. My boss was finally on the ropes in an argument! She was stuttering and couldnโt think of a suitable defense to my verbal assault. The only counter attack she could muster was that the local instructor was a good man.
A misstep...Her defenses had fallen. She was staggered. I saw the perfect opening for an instant K.O...I went in for the leg sweep. Not only was I going to embarrass my superior by dominating an argument in front of a customer, I was also going to give the elderly customer one hell of a show in the process.
I drew upon my personal knowledge of the local karate sensei. Having watched him on many nights leave during the middle of class to go out in to the parking lot to have sex with some of the other studentโs moms (my own mother being too old and short for his liking.)
Couple this information with my rudimentary knowledge of sexually transmitted diseases, and the fact that the master ALWAYS had fever blisters around his mouth, I blurted out the following argument killer:
โGood guy!?! Youโre wrong!!! He has sex with all his studentโs mothers in the parking lot and he also has herpes!!โ
I had won...My boss would only look at the ground in defeat. It seemed she could not acknowledge the victory I had scored...and in the presence of a witness no less.
I turned to collect the money from the elderly patron only to see her face red and eyes glaring at me in anger. She slammed the cash in to my hand and snatched her change when it was offered.
After the hasty exit of the gray-haired purchaser, my boss looked at me and says, โGood job. That was the karate teacherโs mother...โ
ANoiseChild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I answered the phone and a woman asked to speak with an employee who had recently moved on to another job (he had been with us for several years). Without thinking I said, โJamil isnโt with us anymoreโ to which the lady was silently and then I heard her muffled cry.
cowsrock1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
told some kids they could put our 3 headed guard to sleep by playing some music
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't mean this maliciously, but when a woman came into the shop with her young daughter on a school day, I assumed she was off because she was sick as her face was very red so I said "Aww does she have mumps?" and her mom just blinked and said that no, she's been running around.
My work later got an email from the same woman saying how it's concerning that employees were quick to assume deadly illnesses. Like I said, I didn't mean to say that thing in a bad way, but thinking about it now she dressed exactly like someone who complains to managers at the slightest inconvenience.
inkedblonde13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago, i thought a very rude customer had hung up the phone and with a sigh of relief exclaimed 'what a fucking wanker'. However he'd not hung up, queue a massive torrent of verbal abuse and me hanging up the phone. By some miracle I never got into trouble for it.
Thistimehello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pulled into my office car park and saw a car parked over two (of three) parking spots. I walked into the office and yelled โwho parked like a cunt in my driveway?โ Was one of our biggest clients (who heard), Iโd forgotten we had a meeting scheduled and heโd been waiting for me for over an hour.
Zolazo7696 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a shoprite and a lady is checking out. Her husband is bagging the groceries as Im scanning. The lady appears ready to pay.
Me- "Cash or Credit?" Her- "Aren't you suppused to be bagging my groceries?" Me- "Not exactly, I was waiting for you to pay." Her- "Is that not your job?"
I guess I had a bit of a temper that day.
Me- "No, apparently it's your husbands job. There's two spots to bag over there. Either start bagging and Ill help, or Pay first then I'll help. My job is to take your money then assist you." Her, appalled- "AND IF I ASKED YOUR MANAGER WHAT YOUR JOB RESPONSIBILITY IS WHAT WOULD THEY SAY! ITS NOT MY HUSBANDS JOB OR MINE! IF IT'S NOT YOUR JOB THEN WHY DON'T YOU HAVE THE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED PEOPLE LIKE THE OTHER STORES!!" Me- "Idk why. Were you looking for a job?" Me, inside- "Uh-oh." Her- "WHO'S YOUR MANAGER! literally screeching
Knowing my manager got my back cause we were partners in class and she's dope.
Me- "I'll call her over myself." Me- "This lady thinks she doesnt have to pay before she has her groceries, and she's yelling at me" walks over Her- rehashes story Manager, trying to contain smiling- "ma'am it seems to me he thought you were ready to pay not being lazy" Her- "HE INSULTED ME!" Manager- "Did you insult her?" Me- "No" Manager- "I'm inclinded to believe Zolazo, he never talks back to people, he's one of the best here" Her- threatens corperate and storms out
Turns out she actually did call corperate and had to look at the engagment on camera. I was told from manager that her body language implied she was about to explode while I remained very composed. Did not lose my job.
ayitsnick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to my boss and often call him โbloodโ or โstud muffinโ but accidentally called him โblood muffin.โ He looked horrified
doorw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a pizza place and one of my co-workers was named Isaac he was out on a delivery the phone rang and the caller id said โIsaacโ so I just figured he was calling because he had some type of problem so I just answered with โhiโ and even after the customer asked if he was calling the right place I still didnโt realize and I said โyeah what do you needโ it wasnโt a good time (sorry for no punctuation itโs 4 in the morning and I know if I did any than people would be more critical so I decided to do none)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman was screaming at me to get a manager because I had been "racist" because a white family of three was seated before the kids' football team she had brought in. I told her that our manager was running the drive thru. She yelled that I was a liar. I offered to take her back to "look at the man in the tie with the headset on." She wasn't keen on that and told me she was going to call our corporate office. I looked at her and said "ma'am, go ahead. They're going to tell you the same thing I told you." Not my best move at work.
daskrip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Restaurant server in Japan and I had two of these.
One of these happened hundreds of times before I realized it. See, "onegaishimasu" is similar to "please give me" but I thought it can be used as an abbreviation of the common first-time greeting "yoroshiku onegaishimasu" (please take care of me/I hope we get along well). I used the former on customers almost every time I brought them food. For some reason I even appended it to the name of the food sometimes, so I'd say "chicken schnitzel onegaishimasu" (thank you for the chicken schnitzel). I'm sure I confused a lot of people this way and I never got any response correcting me.
Second time was to a British lady. I was listing drinks and she stopped me at "coke" because that's what she wanted. I just wanted to let her know we have diet as well, but it came out as "are you SURE you don't want diet coke?" I realized what I said a few seconds after saying it and my face went red as I was finishing taking her order. When I brought her food I apologized and let her know I didn't mean any offense by it.
thebemusedone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the middle of a discussion with my boss when the phone rang. I glanced at the display and saw it was my wife so I picked it up and said "I'm just in the middle of something, I'll call you back in a bit. Bye, I love you." She said "OK" and with that I hung up. Five minutes later I called my wife. "Sorry about that, what did you want?" "What do you mean?" "You called me." "No I didn't "
I looked at the caller list and the number that had called me just had the same last three digits as my wife's work number. I Googled the number and found it was the parent company of one of our clients. It was obviously one of those set ups where everyone has their own DDI but it shows their reception number when they dial out. So I had to call their reception, explain what had happened and ask if they could see any women sat at their desks laughing. Eventually the receptionist tracked down the woman who had called me and I spent ten minutes apologising while she laughed. I speak to her every now and then and each time I am sure I can hear a smile in her voice and I am sure she can hear me blushing.
Gray-and-old ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:10:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately i cant remember the entire story but a coworker of mine did this. Basically she's a white girl i think around 17 y old at the time. Really nice girl, hard worker and always polite. We worked in retail at the time and a bunch of big black guys ganged up on her and kind off harrassed/annoyed her. Dont remember what they were asking for but we didnt have it. The just kept bothering her with it, lets assume it was a air fryer.
Anyway because this girl got more and more annoyed and at a certain point just shouted at them; your mother is an air fryer.
She immediatly regretted and thought: oh no this is were i die. But the guys just kinda wandered off. One of them even came back a little later on and apologized to her.
foley528 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm probably too late
If you have watched South Park in the last couple seasons then you have probably seen the "Member Berries". These berries say "Yeah, you memeba?" A LOT.
I used to work at a movie theatre and one day I was walking behind this older couple. They were talking about something I honestly wasn't paying any attention to them. But I caught the very end of their conversation when the wife looks at her husband and says "do you remember?" Without hesistating I said "YEAH I MEMBA".
They told my manager I was eavesdropping on them and I got written. It was a bad day that day.
louiseisag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a supermarket and some customers really donโt like paying for bags even though thatโs been a thing for years where I live. A lot of people ask for a bag after they have paid in an attempt to get one for free.
So one day this seemingly normal guy did that and I said โsorry theyโre 10pโ. Queue the usual rant about how disgusting it is that they have to pay etc. He says โare you taking the piss?!โ So I said โnoโ in a bit of sarcastic tone. Well that was clearly a rhetorical question.
He then started screaming at me in front of the whole shop, calling me a slag, a fat cunt and every name under the sun really. The worst part is that security and my manager were standing right next to me and they didnโt say a word. My manager didnโt even turn around, in fact. Thanks for the back up guys.
Madypoppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:15:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I live in a small town where we have one shitty pizza delivery place. Iโd rather eat my cardboard.
subfighter0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was bartending one night when 3 ladies come in. 2 of the 3 order and sit down while the 3rd stays at the bar to make up her mind. She was an Asian woman asking if we had any Japanese whiskey. I was about to tell her we do not have any Japanese whiskey.... but as I was saying it for some reason my mind was about to leave out "Japanese" and it ended up coming out as: "No sorry, we don't have any Jap.... whiskey."
Jay_Eye_MBOTH_WHY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was carrying 2 large cases of water one in each hand, I saw the line was empty and approached the cash register, at that moment a girl in her mid-20s just walked in front of me in line. She wasn't buying anything but asking the cashier a fucking question.
The cashier said she couldn't help her after a few minutes, and the girl walked away and you could see she was disappointed.
And it was like Emperor Palpatine's voice made me say it, but I muttered "Good!" very loudly. The girl was like WTF and glared and I paid for my water.
alaninsitges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Tech support a long time ago. Guy calls up and is having problems with something that is just brain-dead simple. I walk him through it and he just doesn't get it. I walk him through it again, and again, he fails to grasp this really simple concept. It went on for a good 15 minutes (we were rated based on our call time) and he just kept saying it didn't make any sense. Finally in a fit of frustration, I hit MUTE and muttered "get off my phone you fucking moron" before going back to the call. (you know what's coming) That's when I realized I didn't hit mute but something else. The guy is like "did you just call me a fucking moron?".
Five seconds of panicked silence on my end, and they I just said "hello? hello? are you still there?" and hung up. And prayed they weren't recording me that day (they weren't).
I never trusted that mute button again.
eiscego ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a call center for health insurance. In order to follow HIPAA and the Privacy Act regulations, we had to verify 4 pieces of information, one of which had to be a Social Security number. There were many people who were not happy about providing this information. I was usually good at explaining to people why we need this... usually.
This one guy calls in, already a little upset. He asks why I need this information. I tell him "it's to make sure you are who you say you are and not lying". I said it in a light-hearted way, just trying to keep the mood cheerful. He thought I was accusing him of lying and I spent the next hour or so getting yelled at by him the whole time I was trying to help. It was great. //s
The_Ion_Shake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:28:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a socially awkward person I worked in the back to avoid customer interaction, but when they cut jobs I was forced to go on the registers. Which was hell for me, so I have a lot of these. The worst is dealing with old people who just don't understand how retail works, especially in a scale higher than "Mr Jenkin's General Store who sells fine products from Abbott's Farms down the road".
So, i'd field questions like "why isn't there any of X small company product and lots of Y big company product?" and reply that the big company pays us more for more shelf space. Well, this is like lifting the lid on a massive conspiracy, they were often outraged, "it's all about money these days!". Yup, that's the point.
Or the time I tried to explain, after a shortage, that the reason we still had stock was because the milk wasn't "single origin", they just have tanks of milk from all different cows mixed together. Again, revealing the conspiracy, because they thought the milk still came from Old Man Jenkin's cow Bessie fresh this morning. "That's disgusting! If people knew this they'd be shocked!"
Or when I tried to explain that one product was made overseas in an African country using inferior ingredients so wasn't as good as the one made here, hence the price, and the customer thought I was being racist, but wasn't exactly upset and started adding her own racist views and I was too awkward to bother saying anything.
golfnthat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have posted this before. It makes me laugh every time I remember it.
I used to work as a recruitment agent. A female colleague of mine was arranging for a client to come in and 'prep' with us before we set them on an interview.
As the phone call ended, the client said his goodbyes, and my colleague said "ok, love you, bye!" like you would say to your Mum.
She immediately put the phone down and went bright red. We were all in a fairly quiet office so we all heard her. We all laughed our asses off.
When the client came in, she simply did not acknowledge her "love you" moment with him.
KeithO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:42:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 23 and working very long hours and one of my (and the companies) biggest clients was very high maintenance. Good guy, funny guy, but really high maintainance. Use to call just to chat kind of client.
Anyways, one night we were wrapping up for the day and he was just talking away on the phone about pretty much nothing. Finally it was time to hang up and I was half asleep at this point. So:
"Alright, goodnight /u/KeithO . Let's pick this up tomorrow."
"Sounds good John. Love you."
Few moments passed. He laughed. I blithered. 20 years later I'm still embarrassed.
rentahobbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just now
"You are the worst business I have ever dealt with! Thanks for nothing !"
"You're welcome :)"
Click
Whoops
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was serving a small family with very young kids made my pleasantries and was getting on well with them.
Until they asked about my girlfriend and her family. Part of the conversion swung to how I got on with her parents, I told her is not met the dad because he wasn't around then I said her mother on the hand "she has to love me I am at least sleeping with her after all".
bochen00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not that I felt I shouldn't have done that to customers, but suits the topic, I believe.
So back in days I worked in call center for customers of telecommunication company. We've had some nice, decent people calling and treating employees with decency. However, there were many calls from type of folks who would rage on agent answering their phone, calling names and being disgusting with either stupidity or their manner (or rather lack of).
I have never took it personally, nor cared for opinion of a person who behaves like that, but many more sensitive co-workers would be very sad/upset, but i digress.
General policy of company was - you can hang up on customer if they swear to you repeatedly despite your request to stop.
My favorite technique to teach a lesson and cut the call with people going on and on with being rude (without swearing), while adding a bit of a laugh for ourselves would be:
I would let them talk for minutes without interrupting, while doing something more meaningful.
At certain point raging customer would always ask "are you still there?".
I would calmly answer "oh excuse me sir/ma'am, seems we had issue with line because I couldn't hear you for a while. Could you please repeat what you said?"
This sentence would always trigger them even further, after which they either insult repeatedly (so I can hang up) or they hang up on me.
Note: I would always try to help people first even if they are upset with the issue, but this I used for customers who didn't care for solving a problem and just wanted to vent.
TRexhatesyoga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
There was a street called Foreshore Rd. In-house we used to call it something else as a joke. This lead to me inadvertently, when talking to a customer on the phone, referring to it as Foreskin Rd. Right at that moment the Department Director walked out of his office and heard me, turned around walked straight back into his office and closed the door. While I was profusely apologising on the phone he was laughing uncontrollably.
mistmanners ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I worked at a lunch counter in high school and was pretty dumb, it being my first job. A woman ordered a meal and when I served it to her, she announced that she had ordered it to go. "NO, you didn't!" was my naive reply. Now take my advice, you just can't go being uppity to the over-forties telling them what they did or didn't say. She was livid. She got her food to go. After she left, the customers within earshot attested that she had not ordered her food to go. I got fired anyway. I had forgotten that the customer is always right. That's a hard one to learn. Food service sometimes really bites.
BigBogey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I swear a lot and most of the time I don't realise. Was working on a bar, not long turned 18, talking to a customer about swearing and women who swear. He went to order a drink and without thinking I was like "what do you want, cunt?" He stopped and just looked at me for a second before saying "I don't think you should've said that". My heart fell out of my arsehole lol I apologised and was like OMG I'm so sorry i didn't mean to say that!!!
Luckily he was really alright about it and just said to be careful. He could've got me into a lot of trouble.
DerpHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:01:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a sushi bar. A group of 5 police officers came in to eat at lunch. It was pretty dead so they they were the only ones in there. I brought out their food and before I left I said, "We made sure to get all the anthrax out of the soup." as a joke. They just looked at me and continued their conversation. I died so hard inside.
wandering_exile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The customer tried to tell me a joke and I told him it wasnโt funny. He was not amused.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A client needed to sign some documents as an officer of his company. I told him to use a specific officer title(ceo, president, secretary, treasurer) he of course ignores this and uses "officer". He then calls immediately to ask if the documents are correct. I tell him no he must use a specific title. He didn't understand so I said "it's like asking what model of car you have and writing "car" ". He understood immediately, but it came out more dicky than intended.
Skullcruncher30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was the customer, I was in a dollar shop looking for valentines gifts with friends as pranks. One of them decided that he was going to get a Mankini for another guy, but was too scared to go up to the counter and purchase it. So I went up with the money to the register. The cashier scanned the Mankini, then... Then he said โHave Funโ...
lunaquaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every bloody time i stupidly asked my customers "need a hand?" While working at an adult store
future-mrs-terrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked if their call was market research. They kept asking nosey questions. Needless to say, my boss received a mail about me. Lucky I did not get fired.
sp00kybunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not exactly to a customer, but Iโm an English teacher in Japan and I was teaching my 6th grade students how to say what they want to be when they grow up.
So I was walking around the classroom and I saw this one girl hadnโt written anything on her paper and I said to her in English (she went to an International school before, so she spoke English pretty well), โWhat do you want to be, Mio?โ And she says, โI donโt want to be nothing.โ And really quickly without thinking I said, โhaha oh yeah? Me too.โ
And she just stared at me and then translated it into Japanese for all of her friends. Probably not the best thing for a teacher to tell an eleven year old child.
el_grort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Probably the moment I went in the back and said "fucking hell" before swiftly hearing behind me a customer who'd just ranted at me go "what did you say?".
Context! So I had just come off the tills and I think I was sorting the bakery, when I see a gaggle of children, that's the technical term, following this older, scraggly gentleman who I thought must've been from a fishing boat or the peninsula. Kids are asking if he'll buy them a beer, and one even offers to pay him, holding out a hand with cash, in front of the wine shelves and myself. So ofc I find this dodgy and think these children are trying to get a stranger to do a proxy sale, so I decide to go up to the man, get confirmation so I can kick the kids out, thinking he's being hassled by them.
Turns out they were his children. He got very sweary about my asking, saying I was "listening in" to other people's private conversations (don't have your kids do something looking illegal in front of me then, pal) and it was none of my business. I suggest he not take any alcohol from the shelves, because the new knowledge meant I couldn't be sure his purchase was not going to go to one of the kids. It's employee discretion here, but since a sale of alcohol to a minor could land me a personal fine of ยฃ6000 and lose me my job, I wasn't particularly willing to risk it. He tells me I'm a fucking disgrace and none of this is any of my business before storming off to the tills.
So I'm just standing there baffled, before saying "Well, we're the ones selling this so it quite literally is our business" before wandering to the back area.
And this is where I swear, thinking I'm alone, and the man demands to know what I just said. I really wish I had not sworn just prior to that. Bricking it. But I swivel on my foot, put a customer service smile on and pretend he didn't hear the swear. I repeat what I said after he stormed off, he rants some more, and I just tell him frankly that he's not getting any beer today and if he wants to be mad, be mad at his children for making him look like a proxy sale. He continues to get angry and storms off, I go to the tills to make sure why coworkers know what the deal is so it's enforced and doesn't look limp wristed. And then I go find a supervisor so they are aware of the situation in case I get a complaint lodged against me.
It was a shit show and in the middle of it I had to accidentally curse a customer in their hearing. FML.
ixvix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fell asleep during a call on a customer service role after asking him to restart his modem. The specific model he had would take at least 5 minutes. Anyway I fell asleep and at some point I woke up, shot up in my chair and yelled into the headset "DON'T RUN INTO THE FOREST!!"
Another time was one week into the same job my trainers never told me we were allowed to stop a conversation if we gave the customer 3 warnings for abuse etc. 45 minutes into a business customer yelling every obscenity at me, he called me a black cnt so I shot back "No, you're a black cnt!" he was speechless and demanded to speak to a manager so I just hung up. Sat there for a minute then decided I had to tell someone so I walked into the GMs office and told him what had happened. He said he'll get the team leader to act on the situation tomorrow (being already 6pm). The following day I found out my team leader had contacted said customer and told him off for speaking to her staff like that and she just closed his account. Apologised to me for not telling me about the warning protocol. She ended up being my favourite boss in any job I've ever had.
bpts0510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in retail and a blind man that comes into work sometimes needed help finding a few things for his kids. I kept handing him different things so he could determine if they were right or not. At one point, before I went and grabbed something else for him, I asked him if he was "happy looking at that for now"... the shame was real
Dr_McKay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work maintenance at a mental hospital, one of the patients said hello to me so by reflex I replied "How's it going?". They told me terrible etc. I couldn't think of what to say as the expected answer is "fine" so I panicked and blurted out "Probably why you're in here". She didnt appreciate it and I left as quickly as possible.
Lozzif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Colleague on the phone. Has a horrific woman who is awful. Women screams she will go to the press and then silence. Colleague mutters โwhat a fucking bitchโ and then years โWHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?โ
She obviously complained and demanded colleague get fired. Bosses listen to the call and advise bitch that colleague is getting a verbal warning (which means nothing) but based on the abuse she hurled st colleague weโd be canceling her job.
FlyOnDreamWings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:18:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a waitress. Came out with the food. Usually say what each plate is to make sure it's going to the right customer. I was on the last dish so I knew exactly who it was going to but still said what it was to make sure the right dish was going out.
So that's how I was looking a sweet old lady in the eyes and bluntly called her a tart. Realised my mistake immediately and tried to fix it with 'oh, I mean, the vegetable tart...' and made a hasty retreat.
deathdeparting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:21:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a clothing retailer and for a while we sold pussycat bow blouses. Either someone who originally keyed it into the system was having a giggle or they made a genuine error, but it popped up on the screen as 'pussy blow' when scanned. Two teenage girls came in and bought literally like 10 of these shirts, and as I scanned them they chatted away about how much they loved pussy shirts (that's what they called them) - they were almost certainly fucking with me. I replied,
"Yeah, I love pussy too."
Dead silence.
wildusername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the thread but have to share this.
I worked in a shoe store while at university on the main street of my city and there are quite a few homeless and vagrants - most of them totally harmless and just down on their luck. The odd few however could be aggressive or creepy - I worked in a store with a team full of young women and we'd had instances of them being followed home.
So I'm walking into the store and there's a guy loitering around the front door starting intently at my colleagues behind the counter. I walk past him and he gives me another intensely creepy stare and is muttering under his breath. I walk up to the counter and ask "what's up with the creep outside?"
What I don't realize and can't see from the entrance is a woman in the corner of our L-shaped store, who whips around and screams "THAT'S MY BROTHER!"
I immediately apologise and explain that I'm overly cautious because of what we've experienced in the past and she proceeds to scream at me that I'm a "fucking narrow minded bitch" and threatens to drag me out by my hair, along with my workmates. My manager tells her to leave and threatens to call the police so she proceeds to storm out while shrieking and throwing shoes across the store.
She never came back but I swear to God I was waiting for a brick to come flying through the window all day.
TL;DR: questioned my manager about "the creep outside" only to find the customer out of view was his sister who then threatened to drag me and destroyed my store.
beckyboop84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work on a makeup counter. We have a gadget that shade matches foundation. A colour comes up that is horrible and very pink, so I tell the customer it tries to match everyone to that colour "to try and shift a few bottles".
I'm really praying she wasn't a mystery shopper.
codywb01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Itโs not really something I said but my manager said.
A few years ago I promised this contractor some pipe a few days before he needed it. He was doing a waterline shutdown and had it scheduled a few days later.
We had some very large orders already scheduled to deliver the same week. One of our drivers called off the next day and the day after. So a day before his order is scheduled to deliver, I call the guy and tell him Iโm not going to be able to deliver and explained to him that he needed to get ahold of a trailer and pick up his order.
Everything seemed fine until the next day he calls in when his order didnโt deliver and just lets loose on me. I backpedaled basically saying I told him the morning before I wasnโt going to have a driver and he needed to pick up.
My manager rips the phone out of my hand and begins talking to the owner of this plumbing contractor, one of the largest - most well known in the area. I hear the contractor ask my manager โwhy are you being so condescendingโ.
My manger responded โ Iโm being condescending because youโre being a prickโ
That set the guy off the deep end. Could not believe he had just said that.
butibum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Australian, here. I worked for a well known swimwear brand at a well known London department store when this happened around 2009. Post Christmas sales were on. We just put anything that was out of season on racks and just priced them down, aggressively. A lady calls, asking if we had something in stock, in a particular size (the item would have been less than ยฃ10 on sale, probably 50% off). We didnโt have her size in stock and werenโt likely to get any more, as the style was a couple of seasons old. She said that she called another store, about 2 hours away, by car, and they have it in stock, but not on sale. She asked when we could get it across to our location. We normally can do stock transfers, but not on sale items, which I communicated to her.
She was outraged that we couldnโt fulfil her request, and asked to speak to the manager. I said I was the manager (I wasnโt) and that I canโt help in this instance, she should just get the item from the other store. She said that I wasnโt giving her a straight answer and I responded by saying something like โI have given you an answer, just not the answer that you want to hear.โ
It is important to note that being an employee, working in this department store, customers are not used to being spoken to like this. I never heard about any complaints, but I kind of knew that I should have probably worded my response a little better.
bibeauty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:30:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Second day on the phones working tech support for a mobile phone company. This was before I realized I had anxiety.
Lady calls in with a problem with the brightness. She has the same phone I do so I try to step by step walk her through it.
NOPE She wasnt having that.
I sat there for 10 minutes while she called me every name in the book, screaming, yelling etc.
I started to have a panic attack. She was tanking my call time numbers.
Then out of my mouth comes. "Shut the Fuck up and listen to what I have to say or hang up. I'm a human being and shouldn't listen to this bullshit"
She might have been shocked but she certainly shut up. I walked her through how to change the brightness. As soon as that was done I disconnected the call, wrote my notes, dropped off my badge and never returned.
I would have been fired any way so I left on my own terms. They have since put a one warning policy when someone starts berating you.
And I learned to never again work tech support :)
SuperDBallSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:31:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one's a twofer. Bartending at a very busy chain restaurant when a customer sits down and asks for a frozen strawberry margarita. As was my way, I casually said I didn't really feel like making a blended drink(while I was simultaneously filling the blender). She took me quite seriously, said she would go find someplace else that would make her one and began to gather her things to leave. Whoops, clearly misread my guest. I apologized profusely and convinced her to stay. Crisis averted. Then, after I explained to her I was kidding, she told me that her friends and family frequently berated her for having no sense of humor.
"Well, they have a point."
Honestly though, she remains the only person I've ever met with no sense of humor.
el_loco_avs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:32:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was doing Tech support work for an ISP.
Someone called, I don't know why exactly, but iirc they needed to cancel something because a family member died.
I ended the call with my standard cheerful "Have a nice day!"
:(
BuddyX10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I was working as a waiter I served quite handsome ~30 years old guy. We chatted a little bit when he make order and after that when I went to give him his food he asked โSooo... Are you going to be here all night?โ I didnโt even thinking and just answer โI hope soโ (last day some waiter finished shift earlier cuz lacks of customers). He said โOuch, you hope so?โ and laughed. After few hours later I realized that he was probably hitting on me.
cucumberInMy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I said "yes" when my boss asked me to take over the job of one guy who resigned until the company find his replacement. almost 6 months later, there's still no one who fills the position.
Mantuko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at the front desk at a hotel there has been 3 times that my sarcastic autopilot took control:
One time a guest wanted me to call the GM at 3am during night audit for the stupidest reason, I told him how that was not possible. He kept yelling at me hat I was not doing my job and that this was a terrible customer service and so on until he screeched What if it was an emergency or a fire who would you call? And I snapped: The fire department duh. He was not happy.
Random person sent their wheelchair to the wrong hotel and was mad we did not call her ( we didn't know who she was, she was staying at another hotel and the receipt only had her name) and would not send it to the other location (us paying for the delivery) even though they made the mistake. She was really nasty over the phone and tried cutting me off while I was trying to give her options yelling how she was in a wheelchair and could not come or send someone or do anything other that us paying for the delivery. I snapped and replied: Well clearly you are not because it is here and not there. That did not end well (We still did not paid for the delivery)
A super short guy (not little people but really really short) came with his girlfriend, his friend and friend's girlfriend. They were laughing at him cause he could not reach the counter to sign the registration card. (We had a lower side counter for disabled people but he did not want to use it) They kept making jokes at him while helping him read the registration card. I had been working a 14 hour shift and joined the roast saying how the song playing in the lobby was quite relevant right now. It was The Beatles - With a Little help from my friends. I wanted to die right there but luckily he LOL'ed. Gave them complimentary parking for that night.
kliikz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer came through the drive thru at work and luckily my family owns it so no true harm done, but.. I was trying to take his order and the wind kept blowing in the mic everytime he would go to talk, so I muted the mic from my end (or so I thought) and said "are you fucking kidding me".. told him to pull around I can't hear him. Luckily he's an old gym teacher at the school I went to so he just laughed but it was awkward as fuck. Haven't seen him since.
I've been particularly careful as to what I say now..
kosif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working a shit job as as a Deli worker in Ballard, Washington. I was on the register one day, taking orders then turning around to make them as fast as I could. People would place their order, and then hang back a ways until their order was ready. There was a regular who came up, ordered something, and then stepped back while I put it on the panini press (or whatever the fuck he ordered). I run through other customer's orders (shit from whatever we have cooked, cold sandwiches, etc) when I turn back with the first guy's sandwich, there's a woman there (another regular) wanting to pay for something. The dude was standing like 10-15 feet away from the register, but he decided that the lady stepping up to a completely clear register was not ok.
And then it was like an adult slapfight. The guy got pissed that she was in front of him, so he called her a cunt. She turns around and gets in his face. This goes on for like a full minute or so, until I realize that I'm actually still there and the one who has to check these two out. I slapped the counter and yelled "HEY. Act like fucking adults or get the fuck out of my line." They both shut up, paid for their shit, and left. I thought for sure that I was going to be reported by one of the 5 employees around me, but nobody batted an eye.
Then, someone told us that a homeless guy had taken a shit outside the door. So, that was a average day in that shithole.
prodigyx360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not really a customer per se, but I teach a beginner guitar class for kids, and during the lesson where we had to learn the 'A' chord, they were all strumming furiously and I walked around the class checking their fingers while yelling above the noise.. "Yes, sounds good! Play that A! Let me hear the A-ness!"
One kid out of 15 giggled.
Twirg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had an online chat session with an internal staff member to which I was providing tech support. The chat application shows a profile photo of the user, and this one was quite pretty
During the chat sessions I received a couple of messages from a colleague to which I replied "Hang on, I have someone much hotter than you in another chat window".
As you can probably guess I sent it to the hottie in question.
It took some recovery...
zenyattasrobotballs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in local government in what could most likely be translated to the department of traffic. Sometimes we have people coming in for all sorts of different reasons and given that we had a lot of people absent from work for some time now, one coworker (who doesn't really have any responsibilities and just sort of hangs around here) had to step in. Now, he has a really short temper mind you and was in jail for a few months because of it. Some German speaking guy came in, furious af, about his car being towed. His first statement was that he is a medical doctor. My coworker (already getting slightly pissed by this statement) begins to explain how we had put up parking prohibited signs at least a week ago and that this was the guy's own fault for not paying attention to either the signs or the fair that had been built in the middle of the street. As soon as the guy tried to argue my coworker just flipped. He screamed and called him names and the guy was just standing there, baffled and stuttering. My coworker then just closed the window and left him standing there. I had to intervene as the guy threatened to call the mayor and such. Unfortunately, my coworker could still hear the guy rant from the other room, came back and threatened to throw punches. It was uncomfortable as they just stood there screaming at each other while I had the people T was in a meeting with sitting a few meters away drinking coffee and feeling awkward.
Tl;dr My very special coworker started screaming, cussing and threatening to throw punches over what was just a question.
fxkmehxrder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Just about every time I swear in front of an old person I do not know.
Background: I work at a gym, I see like the same people every shift, but sometimes I see strangers.
wifeytoaswede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:03:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working as a graphic designer and I had a special client that would stand behind me and tell me what to click with my mouse, grab the mouse from me, etc. I politely stood up and said, "Go ahead, you do it. You seem to know better than me so you finish your design." It was my first year, I was still cocky after college. Anyway, turns out the customer was special because it was the owner's sister. She called him and said I was rude and abrasive. My mom still likes to bring it up and we laugh. No repercussions btw.
DPH_NS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Insurance company call centre, all calls are recorded.
Had arranged to call back a client for some reason forget why now.
Client:"Hello?"
Me: "Hi this is DPH_NS callin..."
C: "HELLO?"
Me: HI!, This is DPH_N...
C: "HELLO!!?!?, I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
Me: HI! ITS DP
C: "Ahhh, forget it, just leave a message after the tone:
Answering machine: "BEEP!"
Me: "Ohhh for fucks sake..."
realization that I just swore on a customers answering machine and that my side of the call is being recorded as well
Me: "Ohhh shit"
Hangs up phone, never calls client back
cancerofpassion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:04:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I accidentally sent a link to a YouTube video of Peter Griffin saying โOH MY GOD WHO THE HELL CARESโ to a customer who was pretty upset (not really for a good reason/they were kinda unreasonable, but such is life). That was it; the entire message was that link. It actually was a real accident; it was the result of a bug in one of the programs we use. But still funny as hell.
nametags88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:05:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A difficult customer who had been refused service by three of my other coworkers (I found out about the refusals later) came to my handbags register with a fragrance item wanting to purchase it.
He kept demanding that I smile for him. At first I was joking about not smiling on command until he got rude and said โyouโre supposed to give service with a smileโ
My reply was โwould you ask this of one of the male associates?โ
Thatโs when he went from being difficult to downright terrifying. Being loud and rude as he decided he didnโt want to make the purchase. He visibly and audibly reminded me so much of my step father that I was visibly shaken up and near tears. When my manager came over she took that asshatโs side. Thankfully my co worker stood her ground for the both of us.
That was the day I knew I needed out of retail ASAP
Vanderbrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once caught two kids stealing in a supermarket I worked in as a teenager. 'Go ahead, I don't care' was my chat and so I left them to it. Cue twenty minutes later and I was told to go to the staff room over the Tannoy. Inside were two crying kids, a security guard, management and the police. 'He told us to steal!!' they pointed to me. I shrugged and said I did no such thing with all these eyes fixed on me. They all knew I probably did say it but had no evidence. I got away with it this time..
j94mp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't really say anything bad, but I could tell that they were the type to be easily offended. I used the same script I used on all potential customers (at a gym) "our classes aren't built to 'graduate' you to the next level, but rather are focused on personal improvement. We're very inclusive, so the classes are built off of modification levels. You're the one who dictates the difficulty of the class and what you can and can't do. I've seen beginners in the more intensive strength training classes, pregnant women, seniors, etc. just go at your own pace"
I could instantly feel the energy change, as if they were insinuating they fell into any of those categories. I use the same script on everyone. They were a couple in their 30s. Obviously weren't seniors or pregnant.
Last thing they asked was if it was always this busy. "Well it is a Monday (top traffic for our gym) and it's peak hours. Keep in mind this isn't indicative of our average traffic. There are a lot of New Years resolutioners right now hehe ;) "
They said "...that's us"
And I never saw them again. To be fair they were very sensitive and seemed to think things were directed at them that 100% were not, but oh well. Shouldn't have said it.
holafluxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked for a game store for a while and one night when I was getting ready to close a group of people came in. I was irritated that they came in 5 minutes after close but agreed to help them out. After finishing their purchase I told them thanks for coming out and that I had to close. One of the guys in the group refused to leave and told me I couldnโt kick him out of the store. I informed him that me being the MOD at the time made it so I could very well kick him out. He proceeded to call me a douchebag and threw a few things. At this point Iโm pissed and as soon as they walked out I told the guy to fuck himself and locked the door to the store.
Big mistake. Dude goes full ape shit banging on the door, threatening to kill me in the parking lot. I was alone at the time and I worked in a super sketchy part of town so this freaked me out a bit so I called the cops but by the time they got there the guys had already left. It wasnโt all bad though this experience gave me the balls to finally quit that job and now Iโm working at a place I actually like and Iโm getting payed more so eh it was worth it
emax4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Stupid me was rinigng up a lady buying adult diapers and joking. Turns out it was for her 10-year old.
ya-both-high ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have terrible hearing-not diagnosed with hearing loss or anything, my hearing is just pretty poor in general and I've never been checked out lol-and one of my regular customers came to the register. I asked him how he was doing and he said "Not so good" and I said "Oh I'm sorry to hear that" and he said "Yeah, today my boss mumble mumble." I had no idea what he said and couldn't pull out any contextual clues whatsoever, and so I just looked around nervously and said "Well at least it's not snowing!" We had just had a bout of really shitty winter weather and it was the first thing that came to mind. He stared at me dumbfounded and said "My boss got run over by a truck and died, but yeah, I guess you're right, at least it's not snowing..."
I wished I had been the one run over by a truck.
mattthepianoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In one of my retail jobs a customer asked me to go and get a heavy product from the warehouse. I went and got it and he said it was the wrong item. I double checked the item code and it was right. He wasn't happy, kept saying I had made a mistake and that the product was wrong. I looked him square in the eye and said "look, I work here and I know our products. This is the item you asked me to get. It matches the product code you gave me. It's exactly what you asked me for. Now are you going to buy it or are you just wasting my time?"
Got a warning from the manager and reassigned to the warehouse away from customers.
ThatJollySwagman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working an upstairs function, before it started I was in one of the downstairs rooms. A lady approaches me and my two workers standing at the waiter sation. She immediately starts yelling complaining her senior meals came out 10 mins ago and her mains still hadent arrived. I tried all the normal "I'll go find your food now." "The kitchen is under high levels of stress right now so smaller meals might come out quicker." And she wouldn't have a bar of it.
After she said that this was the worst service she has ever expirance I saw my coworker come out of the other side of the room holding that ladies food. Now this was the wrong thing to say and I know that but I then said "We have just found your food now and it will be here in just a moment. There's no need to be rude." And I saw her process what I said and she just went off "IM NOT BEING RUDE YOU ARE BEING RUDE." My coworker Sam, a 6'9 Texan, just looked at me "JollySwagman walk away." And I turn and just leave.
Echospite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My old manager once got in trouble because she was pitching a little gizmo that's powered with salt water.
Customer asks, "How do I make salt water?"
Manager says, "Uhh... salt and water?"
She might have gotten away with it, but another customer overheard and just about pissed herself laughing, leaving the first customer furious and complaining to HO about the manager being "condescending".
JonRabbitTail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was waiting tables at a rather busy restauraunt, a woman with her stroller came up to me and asked if I would watch her baby while she goes to the toilet downstairs. I take one look at her baby and tell her 'Ma'am, I don't think anyone wants to steal your baby'
avilsta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:19:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my colleague was super rude to someone and told him "you expect me to go through the entire store just to find what you want? I've got better things to do." And interpreted the customer's "excuse me?" literally, and repeated his whole sentence again without thinking the customer was upset.
Took a whole twenty minutes before HR rang in with an urgent customer complaint, and his ass was off getting whooped by the managers an hour later.
_Mephostopheles_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I didnโt say this, my manager did.
This elderly black man came in and had something of an unsatisfying experience (several things were subpar by his standards). He called the restaurant a few minutes after leaving to complain about something, and the manager went to ask an employee something. Without thinking, he blurtedโalmost into the phoneโโRemember that black man that was in here a bit ago?โ
Long story short, when he picked up the phone again, he got chewed out for being a racist.
jbehr95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:23:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 16 and just started waitressing at a Portuguese restaurant in town. I had a family of all Asians sit down in my section and they ordered a plate of rice. For absolutely no reason at all i said โYou know itโs yellow rice right?โ In no way shape or form am i racist but that was the absolute worst thing i have ever said to a customer lol.
_grey_wall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A see sales guy at Costco (the private vendors) started talking to me about how he runs his business and how smart he is. Went on about how low risk it is to sell in Costco. Then told me his shoes are made in China but they stamp on made in Mexico. ๐ง
Grinchyaaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a colleague. We work helping disabled people get financial help. One day, she had to make a telephone call to enquire about some dates of when this customer had both his legs amputated. He informed us of these dates and she was then able to advise what financial help he could get . Just as the telephone call was coming to an end he thanked her for all her help and her response was "that's ok sir, that's what we are here for, to get you back on your feet" she looked like the world had just swallowed her up.
Kellvetica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Served a lovely older lady and her daughter and instead of saying โenjoy the rest of your day, Ladiesโ I said โenjoy the rest of your days, Ladyโ.....plural placement matters, folks.
drunkryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Am an insurance agent. Pull dudes record and he has a wrap sheet of driving offenses. Asks me how he can save money on his personal auto policy, I replied with "ride the bus the next 3 years?". That got me a nice written warning.
terriblehorses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:31:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at McDonald's and one day our pop machine broke and this lady came through the drive-thru and when I told her the pop machine was broke she started screaming at me and finally said "well who broke it?!" To which I replied, "I did ma'am because I didn't want YOU to have any pop" I heard her gasp then I saw her drive her away. I turned around and my manager was standing there staring at me with her mouth open. Never got in trouble though.
thatwhiteinuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:33:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty late to the game here, but I was serving a man and his wife once, they seemed chatty and me and the man were joking back and forth, his wife egging me on because she wasnโt used to anybody keeping up with him. I dropped off their burgers and when I went back and asked how everything was he said โwell, geez, this is too big!โ I immediately replied with โI bet thatโs the first time youโve ever said that, isnโt it?โ And a smirk. I immediately knew I shouldnโt have said that, but after a a couple seconds of silence they both burst into laughter and Iโve never felt more relieved in my life.
SimShade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a computer repair shop. My boss was cheap as hell and wanted us to make more service sales but we kept getting hardware repair requests and my expertise is in software.
We finally got a software repair request where the customerโs laptopโs screen orientation was upside down and all I had to do was going into display settings and revert it back to normal. I did it quickly in front of him and he was shocked, asking me how I did that. Instead of lying and saying that I had to run a few commands, I showed him how easy it was and he asked me how much the labor fee will be. Our diagnostic fee is $20, so I told him that and he said, โ$20 just for doing that?! Are you kidding me?โ After he said that, I was speechless because I realized how ridiculous that sounded... so he said heโd pay $20 only if I can defrag his hard drive while Iโm at it โ which I did. Surprisingly, the defrag didnโt take as long as I thought I would (it only took a few hours, I thought itโd be like a day)... but man, I still couldโve saved time and made the store the same amount of money if I pretended to spend like 10 minutes on it typing in different commands and repairing it, then just throw some pseudo-tech talk at him when he asked me how I did that.
I personally wouldnโt have charged him had it been my store, but I did since it isnโt and my boss was still pissed that I only charged him $20 for two services.
triforce721 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My time to shine, unfortunately.
I worked in door to door sales for a while. One of the things you learn early on is that when you approach a house, you need to identify things around the house that you can use to build a relationship on. So, for example, if the homeowner has a cool garden, a cool car, something sports related, you might bring it up early to establish a friendly relationship.
Well, at this house, I noticed that the guy had a military license Plate. A "gold star" plate to be specific. As some of you may or may not know, a "good star" plate signifies that someone in your family not only served in the military, but died during their service (in war). I knew that... I've always known that... On this fateful day, I forgot.
The guy opened the door, I introduced myself, and stupidly said (with a big smile) "I noticed the good star plate... I also served".
In that moment, I was thinking, stupidly, that the plate was just a notice to everyone that his family member served, so I was trying to connect with him on that.
The moment those words left my mouth, the homeowner began to won and cry. He looked at me incredulously and said "my son served. He died in Iraq in 09".
I was mortified... I just apologized and left immediately. Even now, years later, that moment makes me feel sadness for bringing up that event, along with pure cringe inducing stomach pain for being responsible for it
j94mp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was showing a girl how to use a massage bed. Tell her it starts after a predetermined amount of time, or she can start it with the button.
She says "so I can just lay here and wait?"
I was like "yeah... just lay down and... let it happen...."
"..."
"...ENJOY!"
Got the fuck out of there
CaptainNo91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a call center and had a custome kicking off about wanting a replacement tablet. Our warranty wouldnt allow it (he broke it) and he used every excuse in the book while becoming more and morw of a dick. He eventually tried playing the guilt card and said his son was currently recovering from a heart transplant and used it to play games in the hospital.
Without thinking I replied, "I appreciate that sir but it's totally irrelevant."
Needless to say he completely lost his shit shouted and swore a bit and then hung up. I definitely couldve worded better but I was still right.
Kinkywrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Of all the questions on here, this one I have the winning answer for, at least from the replies I've seen. A woman once asked me to discount a two hundred and fifty dollar bill and to remove nine dollars from it. I told her "if you go donate plasma you can afford the nine dollars". >. <
paramusician1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Selling cell phones. Customer was quoted a price for the phone. The customer immediately starts bitching about their, "free upgrade." As any cell phone salesman will tell you, this takes you down a fun rabbit hole of explanation. After the explanation she continued to complain and whine and rant and rave about the price. But, she let the salesperson continue the transaction. After about 10 minutes of the whining I'd had enough.
I said, "ma'am if you don't like our prices, you're welcome to purchase the phone somewhere else. There's a RadioShack just down way."
Her and the sales person helping her gave me some very angry looks. I immediately realized my mistake and practically ran to the back room to avoid further glares.
She wrote a complaint to corporate about me. First write up at any job ever.
jagga0ruba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:55:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, yeah, you know something funny? Every time the pay date comes suddenly you seem to have a lot of problem with what we build, it is just like everything is amazing until one DAY before the check needs to fall and suddenly we have all sort of "huge structural problems" according to YOU".
She should have heard it, but I shouldn't have said it.
DrOpticsPlus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to sell some computers to Supernintendo Chalmers, and told him we should talk rust proofing- "These Coleco's will rust up on you like that!" I told him.
I could taste that sale.
Hyakuman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once made a chocolate milkshake for a group of people and handed it to the woman at the table without thinking. It was for one of the guys and she called me out on it straight away. Felt like such an asshole.
UunaA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Picked up the phone to someone trying to place an order... and said "I have no fucking clue what you're looking for" when I couldn't find what they wanted... needless to say they didn't come back.
Sacredauto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:09:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I do State Inspections on cars in Virginia. Had a guy upset for his car failing, as usual. We are required as an inspection station to be able to offer repair to bring it into compliance... is what I should have said when he said โyou are just trying to make money off meโ. Instead I said, โWell we are a business, and I donโt work for freeโ.
He wasnโt happy, Iโm pretty sure he called the state police to complain. Looking forward to that talking to
lilpastababy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work with insurance claims a lot at my job. This lady had come in to be seen where I work after an auto accident, but didn't have the claim number yet, as it had just happened.
So she calls back to give me the claim number, and I said, "in order to put the claim in, I need the type of insurance you have (ex. State Farm) and the auto policy number. INSISTED she didn't have a policy number. I told her it was on the card. She starts screaming at me.
Finally I was like, "I'm not going to be screamed at, so once you figure out the number I need, call my manager" and hung up on her.
Wasn't so much I shouldn't have said that, because I don't deserve to be berated by an idiot, but we have recorded lines so I was worried about a higher-up getting a complaint. I told my manager and she was like, "hey, you don't have to sit there and be screamed at. It's cool".
mimsy191 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A bit late to the party but...
This lady was harassing me at the customer service desk because no one had helped her. Now our customer service desk was a big L, with returns and pickups at the front and tech support on the side. I was on a side till helping a coworker figure out how to process a trade-in for a mobile phone customer that she'd been working with (the front desk tills were the only place to do these). I was also working in her department that day.
I asked the lady if she was waiting on the techs and she got huffy about, "No, I have a return."
I directed her to the line at the front side of the desk and told her the customer service associates would be able to help her. Another dramatic sigh and, "Well how was I supposed to know there was a line?!"
I, who did not think this through, told her, "Well, the posts and ropes are a pretty good indication."
Luckily, the MOD that day was one I got along very well with, so when I went to get him and told him what I did he just shook his head at me and suggested I just come get him next time instead, then went out to deal with her.
FossilizedUsername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:16:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A waitress on a cruise told me that she had been seasick all day, and that she had just gotten back from vomiting but had no time to stop and rest bc she was on duty for 8 more hours. She didn't seem to care but I really wish she hadn't told me that.
TheFire_Eagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working in an insurance call center. I have a pretty deep voice. One guy was just raging because I was denying his claim. So he says "Look, lady..."
I interrupt whatever he says, I think my voice dropped an octave, and I said "First of all, I'm not a lady. Second, you're not going to berate me into paying a claim when you didn't have coverage."
Apparently interrupting his rant threw him off. His voice got a lot shakier after I did it. He became apologetic and just hung up.
Then the passive aggressive twat wrote a letter to our company COO saying that I verbally abused him which resulted in calls being pulled and a week where I was pretty convinced I was getting fired.
In the end my immediate manager wrote me up for the "First of all..." comment and the COO sent me a handwritten note that included a $50 gift card.
Wasn't worth it.
malik753 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back when the Switch was first released, a few days after it had been released, a guy came up to the counter and asked if we had any of the Nintendo Switch.
I said, "Ha-Ha!" as if he had made a clever joke. I saw the look on his face and followed it up a second later with, "Oh, you were serious! No sir, they were sold out immediately and are currently plagued by supply issues."
GreatEscapist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a gym, an elderly couple approaches.
Man (smirking slightly): "Hello young lady, do you have any special deals for a pair of lovely, kind senior citizens?"
Me (immediately and without any thought): "I dunno, you know any??"
They laughed, it was fine.
bananaparacord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I make salads for a high end fast food restraunt. A lady ordered a chicken plate with mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts. I finished making her food and rang her up. I watched it steaming on the counter for 20 mins while she took her sweet time come any get her food. She took another few minutes getting back to her seat and then rushed up to the counter complaining that her food was cold and it was our fault. My manager got into a disscussion/ argument about how it was or wasn't my fault and she got pissed. They kept arguing for probably another 10 mins and my manager ended with the line, "if you didn't take your time getting your food it woukd still be warm and standing here fighting me for a discount that I'm not going to five you is just making you food colder so I suggest you sit down." She walked into the back and started eating a donut.
WastedAwesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asked him if he needed a hand. Had one hand.
mjv22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a produce department in the grocery store and took the produce managers word for gospel on all things produce. The man had made a profession out of fruits and vegetables so who was I to question him.
He told me that 'Yam' was a synonym for sweet potato. Customer comes in and asks where the yams are and the exchange went like this:
Me: Yams are sweet potatoes
C: No they aren't
Me: Yes they are
C: No they aren't they're different.
Me: Fine..... under breath you fucking idiot
Got written up real good.
jay_emdee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was waiting tables on Valentineโs Day. One of my tables was a mother and son. As I was explaining the three-course pre-fixe menu, I mentioned how sweet it was that he was taking his mom out for V-Day. Mentioned it again when I dropped off drinks.
At this point the mom stops me and says, โIโm his wife. Iโm the mother of his children.โ
This was before I even brought the appetizers out. I apologized, but thereโs really no coming back from a mistake like that. The rest of the dinner was soooo awkward and I just wanted to disappear.
pinkjellyatnoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is a reverse comment, someone said this to me as a customer.
Last month I was at the post office because I had an appointment to get my passport picture. Once I finally got up to the front of the line and told the lady I was there for my appointment she said "you are 10 minutes late" and I said, "because I've been standing in this line FOREVER". She rolled her eyes at me and said, "Nope, not forever I can assure you haven't been here forever". Ouch that hurt.
Still...being put in my place by the post office lady was humbling
trustinthesystem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:21:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables. Spinach and "artichope dick"
There's no point in breezing by it. You just have to say "Yup, whoops, sorry about that" and move on.
cogwork_mastermind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time during a liquor sale I screwed up an attempt at flattery. I carefully checked the birthday on her ID, and said '75? I honestly thought you looked like 85.'
I suppose it came out wrong. Poor woman looked deeply offended.
aboyrobert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:22:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was ringing a lady up at the register and her total ended being an exactly round number. Let's say $5. So she says, "Oh wow! $5.00 exactly! What're the odds of that happening?"
I responded, "100%".
She got flustered. It was awkward.
hquinn56 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so in my defense, I thought the customer was being sarcastic too. She comes up to my register and says (Again, thought she was being sarcastic) โAre you having fun?โ I immediately reply with โNo!โ and laugh. But sheโs just staring at me. God....
Alwin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:38:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
After a long and pointless discussion (pointless because he was wrong but didnt want his mind changed) at my bar I said: "Look mate, I've been doing this for atleast 10 years. I know my stuff, I know what I am talking about. Feel free to google it, but stop wasting my time arguing me. I know I am right" which isn't the best response to start with, but this douche had been arguing with me for a fair few minutes when I had better stuff to do. He responded "I've worked behind a bar too an..." and I cut him off "I don't give a flying fuck. Google it. You're wrong". He pulled out his phone, typed something into it, started reading and walked off. I assume he found out he was wrong.
thatjew1097 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cashier at a Panera Bread in central Ohio. One day, Clark Kellogg (famous basketball player) strolls in and orders a meal. The man is huge. Naturally, I timidly ask him how tall he is. He's not offended or anything, he chuckles and tells me he's 6'10". I'm thoroughly impressed.
The next woman in line is a dwarf. I asked her how tall she was.
"Tall enough!" She barked.
fourtaco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asked for calamari:
Me: would you like tubes and testicles? Them: ... Me: tentacles. Oops.
loveelusive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:41:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked a job one time where the customers were called members and thereโd be times that youโd have to queue them in to sit down with a specialist. So I had a member come in one day and ask to sit down with said specialist. My response back was โI apologize. There will be a bit of a wait. He has a lengthy member right now.โ and then I realized what I said and felt really dumb.
Sepiabane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:43:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in a leisure attraction which is small and the whole building is able to be seen clearly from all approaches.
Woman complaining that she wants her money back after going around the whole place saying she didn't realise it was going to be small and thought it was going to be bigger on the inside . My exasperated reply after discussing it for a while on an incredibly busy day was 'it's not a Tardis madam' She went away.
Majockdamus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer was sounding really hoarse (Like it was barely comprehensible what he said), and was buying medicine for something unrelated. I half-jokingly asked if he needed something for the throat aswell. His responses was pulling down his turtleneck a little, revealing a hole in his throat, while saying "I don't think you have anything that helps". I wanted to bury myself right then and there.
tlowson1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was not too bad, kinda funny.
I'd just started at my current job, first week in, and still learning the till system. A couple come in and say they're looking for cheap comics to turn into bouquets for their wedding. I point them out to our reduced box, where comics that usually cost around ยฃ3, are reduced to around 40p-60p. After a while of searching, they come back with about 30 or so comics. I scan them all, all fine. My mind must've gone on auto-pilot though.
Me: And here's your change.
Couple: Thank you.
Me: Thank you, enjoy the wedding.
...
Couple: Obviously we're gonna enjoy the wedding.
Fortunately, we did laugh about it, so no biggie.
ryy29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not even that bad but I asked a customer "so where in America are you from?"
He replied "I'm Canadian"
The conversation really dried up after that. Fairly inoffensive (kinda) error I though!
666kracken666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Go to Amazon itโs cheaper there.
Gwapp93rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at Jimmy Johnโs One thing that not a lot of people know is that we wrap all our sandwiches the same, so when people come in the store and say โWeโll have that to go.โ It really doesnโt matter because itโs the same exact thing. One time a lady who was being a real asshole gave the classic โIโll have it to go.โ I leaned over the counter and said โDo you wanna hear a secret?โ Then proceeded to say โTheyโre all to go.โ She cancelled her order and stormed out of the store.
Pandor36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not really my customer but a customer for a place i worked at.
So my brother put is ram backward in is computer and exploded is motherboard. And since i already worked in a place that refurbed old computer i had a 10% off on computer purchase. So i go there with my brother and after they sell me the computer their is that customer that get in and ask to have them install windows and start to ask them to install world of warcraft and stuff. I but in and said, Dude you should ask them to just install windows and update the driver, that's the hard stuff, installing game is easy you can do it yourself. He then go yeah but it take hour to install them. I said exactly, they are paid by the hour, it will cost you a fortune for something you can do in background. Then i kinda realized the seller was looking at me with knife in is eyes. So i kinda left with the computer and my 10% off. >.>
jeanvaljean_24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mustard, yes mus... Mustard?!
Don't let's be silly...
SeanyMc16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
American tourists asked me for directions to the Cliffs of Moher (we were in Cork, at least 3 hours away). I told them jokingly, 'just around the corner, take the left at the junction and it's 5 minutes away'. I was smiling as I said that and thought it was obvious I was joking and just said they could use Google maps as there was free WiFi. They decided to take my first directions and returned 30 mins later saying they couldn't find it. That day I learned Americans don't understand sarcasm.
cherrypmi92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
10ish years ago I worked at an FYE. I didn't watch the show Dexter, but heard a lot of hoopla on the latest season finale and my researched showed that his wife was killed, and he found her in a bathtub full of her blood. Crazy shit, I thought.
So anyway, customer comes up and buys season 3 or something of the show on boxset DVD. This was before Hulu and Netflix hit big, so your boxsets were still the place to go.
Trying to make conversation with him, I say "Oh yeah, this show! Good pick. Wasn't the latest episode crazy, with his wife being killed and everything? Dude that was brutal."
Man stared at me, dead panned. Explains he hasn't seen the latest season. I quietly and quickly finish ringing him, and squeak a sorry and goodbye.
To this day I still feel like an ass.
sweetpotatotomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had a really busy day at the cafeteria and we were multiple workers sharing the only credit card machine. I had prepared the machine for a costumer I was helping, but then this other middle-aged guy tried to use this contactless payment. In order to stop him from being charged for something that wasn't his, I instinctly just push his hand away and rally sharply says "AH, AH!" like you would with a dog that misbehaved. Thank god he was not offended and just joked with it.
LavenderSnake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:55:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a host at an Applebeeโs and I would always ask the really friendly old people how they liked their food and I had asked this (not so nice ) old person how she liked it and she said something like โmeh my dead grandmother could cook a steak betterโ and I just said โitโs applebees what did you expect ?โ
tenrose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
store called our IT desk to report their printer wasn't working and wasn't happy with the 1-day turn around for an engineer to come out. i stated they had multiple printers in store they could use and the woman replied with "yeah but it's on the other side of the store"
"you've got legs, haven't you?"
didn't go well haha
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't too crazy but I worked at a diner that had the same 3-4 vegetables/sides for each day of the week. There was a woman that would call every Saturday night to ask for the day's vegetables, and then still ask if we had macaroni and cheese (which is Friday's side), she was never too happy when I said no. Finally after a few weeks, she aggressively asked me why we had the same vegetables every time she called and never mac and cheese. I told her, "Well ma'am, we have the same vegetables each day of the week. Today is Saturday. You always call on Saturday. If you called on Friday you could order Mac and Cheese." My tone may have been slightly sarcastic and she proceeded to call me not nice words and hung up. I then had to explain this to my boss and the owner in case she called back to report me.
Ultraballer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a soccer club, where I formerly reffed, and now supervise our big field with 10-15 games at a time. One parent had become very upset that their child had been placed onto a team in which 3 other players werenโt showing up, and so moral fell when they never had enough kids to play, and so obviously frustration arose. We had tried to offer a number of solutions, but the coach was unreceptive, and liked having a smaller group of kids, and at the end of the day, it wasnโt worth upsetting a coach over a couple of parents, because coach volunteers time and helps us, so we give them some say. Parent is obviously livid about this, so I suggested if they didnโt like it they should โthink about volunteering to coach your kids team next yearโ Good god was that a mistake. Fast forward about a year, we had to tell our first volunteer coach that they would need to step down for NEVER following any kinds of rules, particularly the one where we are legally responsible for removing people from our fields during thunderstorms, and no you canโt keep standing under a fucking tree with your team, you need to go wait in your cars.
Tl;dr recommended an annoying parent volunteer so they could enjoy the freedoms that come from being the coach, they volunteered and turned into a nightmare
cast260 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:03 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I know Iโm really late but itโs a fun story
I used to work in an exchange shop where people could come and sell us their games, movies and electronics. One day this older woman came in with a laptop she wanted to sell, a bit annoying because you had to know every detail about what laptop you buying from the customer but okay. We need to reset and run tests on the laptop before we can take it but she had forgotten her password, we said not too much of a problem we have a guy who can remotely wipe it clean out all data, but he wasnโt going to be in until the following Monday. A few days goes past, Monday rolled around and she came back and as it turns out, our guru who would have been able to unlock and wipe it isnโt in, his office is locked and he had lost his keys, lived a fair while away and couldnโt come to work. He wasnโt going to be in the next day either. Thankfully I wasnโt serving her at this point because she was being fussy and wasnโt understanding or agreeing that we canโt buy the laptop right now. My manager and colleagues explained this to the woman who was getting angrier by the second and they told her nothing could be done until he was back, she was welcome to keep her laptop but she was insisting we buy it off of her, this was never going to happen in our store because we canโt legally sell it on. She is being unreasonable and we are trying to explain that we canโt unlock the laptop without this guy and due to โunforeseen circumstancesโ he wonโt be in. Sheโs whaling on about how she doesnโt care about unforeseen circumstances. At this point Iโm getting second hand angry at this women for just being so unreasonable and she is yelling at my colleague and friend and I just step up to the till and try to calmly say, โunforeseen circumstances are unforeseen and we canโt currently fix it, it was unforeseen that you forgot your password, so thereโs thatโ.
Yeah she didnโt like that much but shut up n stuck her bottom lip out like a child and agreed to wait a little while longer. Very satisfying.
TL;DR woman complaining about something she kinda did herself, shut up when I told her.
tFalk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A older lady that I was waiting on was making small talk as I rung up here order and she ask if I had any kids. I said " I'm sure I do somewhere out there".
gansea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:05:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy came in with his girlfriend and another dude one time and he had a bag with him that he put down at a table before he was sat. He left the bag on the other table while he was eating and obviously the busboy thought it was trash and threw it away.
So, I'm taking their order and everyone orders but him. When I ask him what he wants, he whispers to his girlfriend and she orders for him. His order came out wrong, apparently, even though it's what the lady had said. He's visibly angry but still not speaking to me and eats his tacos anyway.
After they're done I drop the check off and they give a card. I run the card and give that back and that's when he works up the nerve to say something to me.
"Where's my bag, man?"
"What bag?"
"I came in with a bag of food where the fuck is it?"
"I didn't see a bag, man.."
"I left it on that table right there and now it's gone."
"Oh, the busboy probably thought it was garbage, let me see if he saw it."
The bus boy did see it and did throw it out, obviously. So I went back and broke the news.
"Yo, that's so fucked up! Who the fuck do you think you are! That was my shit!" etc etc etc
Then, after a long shift filled with weird people, I said, "Dude, you couldn't even order for yourself a minute ago."
"What?! Fuck you! Let's step outside! You can't talk to me like that!"
He got in my face to the point that I was ready to grab the back of his neck at the first sudden movement. But then a couple of the cooks came out (some badass looking Mexican dudes with spider tattoos and lazy eyes) and stood behind me. Then the guy just nodded and stood out front staring at me through the front window.
He came in a few hours later to apologize and ask for a gift certificate. Lol.
TL;DR: Agro dude made a dumb mistake and blamed me for it. I called him out for ordering through his girlfriend after he blew up on me. He almost fought me. He ended up coming back to apologize/beg.
Abraham_Drincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
About an hour ago. I was at my job (that I'm prolly gonna quit). I took a 20mg of adderall because graveyard shift. Gentleman came to the desk, I rang up his items and when he paid, I asked him if he wanted an adderall instead of a receipt. The shock the ran through my body as I asked an off duty cop if he wanted adderall.
Triggerman84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My brain and mouth got mixed up and I actually told an annoying customer "get out".
bigmike42o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One time when I was lifeguarding, there was a kid that was breaking some rule, not a big deal. I go over to tell him and he's just not listening or getting what I'm saying so I'm kind of getting frustrated and yelling. His father comes over to see what's going on and it turns out they are both deaf! I was yelling at a deaf child! He was pretty upset and I felt horrible about the whole thing.
ridcullylives ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but a girl I knew worked as a manager at a waxing salon. Being in such an...intimate business, she and the actual waxers got very used to discussing all kinds of weird body stuff with no compunctions.
One customer was asking about what a particular service covered, and my friend goes, without thinking, "Oh, it gets everything! We'll even get the hair out of your cute little asshole!"
Fngrbngr79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work in the service side of a dealership and was being verbally abused by a customer about two weeks in. She was upset we hadnโt told her she need something thatโs clearly written out in her manual for maintenance. After a few minutes of taking her crap my response turned into โ Iโm not here to babysit you just take care of your vehicle maโam โ Coworker heard me and took over from there. Felt bad after but really was tired of being a punching bag at that point.
CarltheChamp112 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I got my first real job it was as a collector for a credit card company. This lady was selfishly trying to use a cancer diagnosis as her excuse for nonpayment to which I replied "lady you're not the only person with cancer". I have felt very bad about saying that for well over a decade now. I do hope she made it
franchise1140 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:20:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working in the drive thru in McDonalds, it had not been the best day. Someone came through about mid afternoon so wasn't that busy. They order a hamburger no pickle or onion, that's fine but it has to be made fresh. She sighs and goes:
"No, I always get parked up. I am not moving" my response went along the lines of "Sorry, but this is the first time in three hours someone has ordered something similar, so you we can either pre-make one in the hopes someone orders it but no doubt you would complain it was cold or you can park over there for the minute it's going to take and enjoy your hot burger."
Safe to say I was swiftly moved into the kitchen and away from the customers
grasslife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:24:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working for a landscaping company. We maintained (grass and flower beds) this entire complex of about 30 low-income duplex places. I was going from house to house spraying weed killer in the flower beds.
I ran out of chemical in my sprayer so I kneeled down at the nearest spicket to refill my sprayer when this bitch pulls up in her blinged-out Tahoe, rolls down the window, and proceeds to tell me not to be stealing her water.... I promptly asked if she'd like me to give her a nickel... that was fun.
snixone6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to have a car that would vapor lock. Took me a few days of being late to work to finally tuck tail and ask my dad to help me figure out what was up with it. He is a self taught mechanic. I hatred to ask him, he didn't like I had a foreign made car. Oh well... I drive to work (late again, 3rd day in a row" ) while on the phone with him he figures out what's up. All I have to do is take off my gas cap and let the fumes out. Easy! I was so happy it was an easy fix, least for now. I get to work, I'm like 25 mins late and in a mad dash to open the restaurant line before opening. Here he comes, the boss. An obnoxious, son of a sheriff with a God complex, hateful & rude man. We never got along because he didn't like my mom who worked there years before and took his pissyness with her out on me. I never backed down though. Boss: you're late again Me: I'm thinking "No shit, Captain Obvious" all I said was "I know. I apologize. My car keeps vapor locking. I just today figured out what was wrong with it. I shouldn't be late tomorrow. B: baffled look on his face (I knew this look, he is seconds from saying something to piss me off just because he can...) "What even is that?! I've never heard that! That's stupid." M: well my dad is a mechanic and has worked on cars his whole life so if he says that what's wrong and what he told me to do worked so must know what he is doing..." B: again, that dumb. Never heard of it.
I was pissed now. You insulted my dad! M: Well, that prolly why you're a restaurant manager and not a mechanic. As soon as I said I thought "Bitch, you're fired. " He was actually completely dumbfounded and just walked away. I was on pins and needles all day but made damn sure I showed up on time the next day.
idkwhaat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:26:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At a job where I have to answer phones and explain things to people we recruit for temp jobs: โI really wish I could help you, but itโs now 5:00 on a Friday and I donโt care.โ click.
Thankfully no one found out, as I was alone in the office and even if he did call to complain (which I donโt think he did) he didnโt have my name. It was a dick move but this was after 20 minutes of him looping an argument that I need to find him a job and use my own personal cell phone to take messages for him and email him telling him about them, because he doesnโt like to give out his own personal number.
prklexy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:32:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a customer to report me I didn't care if I'd get fired, I'd make more via unemployment (I pay non tax deductible tolls daily) .....they didn't report me unfortunately so I'm still here.
Asshole_from_Texas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work for an equipment dealership in Texas in an experimental department that calls low performing accounts and is a catch all contact for general customer service.
During training this one particularly bubblily woman I worked with was making her first calls. (2016) She called his oil field customer and asked "How are you doing!?"
"Not good at all, I can't even afford toilet paper right now with how crude is doin' right now."
"THAT GREAT!" Well I'm here to help....."
"THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT LADY, WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU, IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS JUST CALL THEM UP TO STIR UP SHIT!?"
She overtook me calling one of the machines an "Ashley Madison" mine was humorous. Hers cost us a customer.
CountessAmara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm way late to this but whatever.
I'm an ER RN. My coworker had one particular patient who was there for mental health problems. I look into the room across the ER to find that she is sliding out of bed onto the floor. She had been trying to do this the entire time and everyone was trying to keep her from doing so. By the time I walk into the room she is lying on the floor. 3 of the staff try to get her back into bed. She is not putting any effort into this and we are not hurting ourselves for this. So on our second attempt, I tell her to put her feet underneath her and stand up. She only has one leg.
awholepineapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a guy who kept asking if I was counting the loose change he pulled from his pocket correctly. Heโd been rude previously, so I just snapped that I got an OP 4, and I could count money.
Sugarpinkloz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in tech support for a large TV company. I had an A-hole customer that was going crazy because I told him the TV needed to be sent for repair.
'How am I going to entertain my kids?' he asked. My reply 'Tell them to go an enjoy the great outdoors?' I did a proper Ron Burgundy high pitch at the end of my sentence. The customer apologised . That could've gone either way.
Nanookofthewest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer comes in with his daughter (17 age maybe) all the time. I ask him one day how many kids he has. He explains a few older ones are out of the house and his special need daughter living at home. My reaction was thinking he was making a dad joke because his daughter doesn't seem special needs. You know, 'oh my daughter is special needs and won't move out'... I laughed... Yup... I know now. She is like 25 and in the special Olympics and everything. He handled it well and I apologized.
smashley1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a barista and this dude came in and it felt like we were kinda flirting. We got onto the subject of spiders and I was like ah I love spiders! I go on youtube and watch all the videos people make of them eating eachother and stuff. He took his coffee and left.
drumsripdrummer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My first year of working retail years ago. A very gangster-esque man walks in. Baggy clothes and struting through the store. He walks up to me and says "Hey man you got little baggies?". I walk him to our sandwich baggies, thinking I know EXACTLY what these are being used for.
Afterwards, we walk past the candy aisle and I remember we sell a candy called "Mary Jane". I pick up a pack and say "Hey, maybe you want some of this too?" as a joke.
Like something out of a movie, his wife and daughter come from around the corner as he says "What is that supposed to mean?". I freeze for a second and say "I just thought you might like some candy." and walk away.
I felt like such a judgemental ass.
lives4books ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:43:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had just returned to work after having a baby, and a larger customer came in wearing the same shirt that had been my favorite maternity shirt. Like a real maternity shirt from a maternity store. Naturally I complimented her on her choice then....asked when she was due, thinking we were both new moms...you can see where this is going. Not my finest moment.
JustGingy95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was stocking an aisle when I hear small feet running at the end of my aisle. Looked over and this little girl had just stopped and was staring at me. Made the biggest mistake when I simply said "hi". The girl started crying, dropped down on her ass and began scream-bawling until her mother finally decided to show up almost a minute and a half later. She scooped her daughter up, gave me probably the worst stink eye I've ever received with her "I want to see the manager" haircut and left in a big huff. At first I had a feeling that somehow I'd end up in trouble for her not watching her own kid and my harsh words scaring the poor child but luckily for me she didn't want to see the manager that day.
lolabythebay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:45:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In the first week the store I work at was open, I asked a gentleman for his ID and called him "sir." His name was Katelyn.
She still shops there five years later, and still presents an androgenous-to-masculine appearance. I cringe at myself for it whenever I see her, but she didn't really seem fazed.
PatrioticPatrol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a cart pusher for a while, and the managers had been cracking down on stuff being left in the carts, so we are supposed to empty any trash in them. A customer took a cart and started going inside when I noticed a plastic bag inside of it, so I yelled out, "Hey! Was that in there when you got it!?" And they gave me the most confused look I've gotten at work. Turns out, it was their bag that they brought along with them. I felt like an asshole
blehmeng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:47:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Late but whatever.
I'm in health care, used to be an MA, and when I went to give a patient a blood test order I jokingly said "we're only gonna have to take a leg to run all these tests" before realizing dude had an amputated leg.
That was fun.
Senvy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was probably around 8 year old, in primary school.
Normal day, we are doing stuff, and then I hear someone saying "ech, I'm so stupid for doing that wrong" and being a smart kid, without skipping a bit I replied "Sure you are"
After that I only heared few GASP, and then, silence in the class. Puzzled, I looked up at other kids, thinking that what I said was funny, and not understanding why everyone was looking at me. Then I saw that teacher wasn't in her desk, then terified I looked behind, and saw her. She was picking some stuff from the cupboard.
On that moment I know it was too late. I probably cried and begged her to pretend I didn't said that and do nothing to me. Well, she did hear that, and was not happy.
ronano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:49:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I didn't say this, I'm one of those pricks who twist the question to suit them. Used to give walking tours in Dublin, had a private tour with bunch of Austrians and Germans, grand bunch of lads. As it ended and we parted I gave them a wave that accidentally turned into a nazi salute. FML.
Edit: reading this comment again, I must have been subconsciously influenced by that father Ted episode where he's accidentally a nazi
bathtubsplashes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a lady I wasn't going to serve her as I thought she had had enough to drink.
When she asked "what do you mean?" her boyfriend, who was beside her, immediately started making that signal tv producers make when they want you to shut up to me.
I didn't catch the warning and normally i'd be very diplomatic when refusing customers but this womans eyes were rolling everywhich way and i said "listen love, you can't even see straight, I definitely think you've had enough".
The boyfriend just sighed a "oh fuck" kind of sigh and it was then that I noticed the woman's eyes were totally milky! She was fucking blind!
bigfinnrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a very hostile encounter with a guy who refused to pay for a copy card. It got heated. Turns out I had said it cost 50 dollars instead of 50 cents and he was right, that was absurd.
scurvy_ed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working at a fast food place, this kid walks up and asks "How thick are your milkshakes?" Trying to dredge up my high school chemistry classes, I simply couldn't remember what units one uses for viscosity- so I didn't know what to tell him. He continued "Well, can I drink them with a straw or do I need a spoon?" Realizing my opportunity I said, with a glint in my eye "Well, sir, that all depends on how much you suck."
claudekennilol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:52:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So, I still don't think I shouldn't have said it, but here it is.
Customer was buying a game because it had hot chicks on the cover. I said, "I read that game sucks." The dude still bought it. Afterwards my manager told me "don't tell customers that"--basically don't tank the sale.
I'm just sitting here thinking, if that's our opinion, then we shouldn't be publishing articles that say that in the magazine our company puts out.
kumaclimber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working for the big red phone company customer though Canada wouldn't be roaming because it was part of the United States. I said "not since they seceded from the union back in '64" he said oh and accepted it as a fact.
tyfreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This member was cussing me out because he overdrafted, and our fees our less than banks but he was being a real jackass so eventually I said something along the lines of โItโs not my fault that you spent money you didnโt have, now is it?โ
He cussed me out again and stormed out of the bank lol
No_ThisIs_Patrick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:57:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't my mouth that ran, but my coworker's. A regular came in to get a sandwich and she says "wow you got all dressed up to come and see us!" And he responded "I just came from my mom's funeral."
Dynas_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to this first year about my three headed dog and let slip that he was guarding something for our headmaster. But that wasn't the worst bit. These kids kept meddling and I also let by that Professor Dumbledore was working with Nicolas Flamel. I should not have said that.
soundbanks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Used to work for a company in the phones and I had an awful habit of calling people 'mate'. This customer didn't like that and stated 'I'm not your mate, don't call me that' to which I returned 'alright mate'. The verbal abuse got pretty hot after that.
monkeyfarmer2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We had a regular lady who would come in every day and had a great relationship with all of the employees. I was new and thought that she was a really cool person and looked forward to building a good relationship with her too. One week we all knew the she was going on a cruise in the Caribbean with her sister so we didn't see her all week, and she came back the following Monday, while I was on shift. I wanted to be casual and welcome her back and so I said "How was your trip?? You look so tan!!"
I think this is a good time to mention that this lady was black... and I was a white blonde boy. I cringed immediately after it slipped out and it still keeps me up at night.
meology ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:04:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get absolutely buried, but oh well.
I used to work as a cashier at a grocery store while in college. On this particular day I will admit that I was not in the best mood to begin with due to some relationship issues and just overall hating that job. So basically, I was not in any mood to be my usual friendly, passive self.
So this woman comes up to our aisle and I can already sense that she was a miserable, bitchy woman. I ignored it and went through the motions. Then, she starts analyzing the girl bagging for me. She asked the girl for several requests on how to bag her groceries very specifically. This isn't necessarily unusual, but this lady was VERY meticulous and acting fussy about every little thing.
Not all of the people I worked with were great at bagging the groceries, but this girl was listening and doing what the lady asked and this lady was STILL giving her so much attitude.
Then she starts to show the poor girl how to bag her groceries correctly while being completely condescending. The girl was polite and just kept doing what she was asked. However, I was irritated so I wasn't really interacting as much with the woman or being as openly friendly as I normally would be with a customer. I may have given her some attitude, but never actually said anything to her directly at that point. I'm sure she could tell I was annoyed, though.
The woman looks at me and says "You know, you're very rude", to which I quickly replied without thinking "No, you are" and handed her the receipt.
She SCREAMED for my manager. Like a scream I would never expect from a customer in a public setting. At that point I was thinking "Oh shit" and got immediately embarrassed, but I couldn't help how frustrated I felt with this woman.
My manager ended up pulling me off the register and told me "I know she was awful, and I understand why you said what you said, but you know we can't do that". I agreed, apologized, and moved on.
So yeah, don't tell customers who are being rude to you that they are, in fact, the one being rude. Felt kinda good though.
jayboogie15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:06:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh there were a few. A few years ago I had my own music studio and I took care of everything, so sometimes i worked 16 hours a day, sometimes whilst dealing with a lot of unecessary bullshit. At the same time I was dealing with depression, had two very active kids and a not always understanding wife at home. Eventually it took a toll on me and some days I couldnt hide i was feeling like shit from my clients. I remember a few occasions I was just pissed of being alive whilst dealing with clients, like this one time I recorded those 16yo kids. They took their mothers and girlfriends to the studio and everything was a mess. They so were very late. So by the end of session, my wife was already messaging me I was late to pick her and the kids , they said something regarding continuing the session besides what was combined so I just spit out a bunch lf words filled with anger towards then. They looked at me weirdly and left. I did similar things with other clients but thankfully I am free-ish from depression and learned I should just leave my own stuff hidden from whoever I work with and cry / punch / scream when I get home.
Pyroisonfireee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy asked me if i thought it was hot (super hot summer day) i was so burned out from work that i didnt care to listen to him so i just said
i think that's when i realized i should quit my job
alike6544 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:11:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like you don't need an extra mcrib MCSCUSE ME BITCH
amero421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a couple: I told a table "you should remember what you ordered" because I'm standing there and everyone suddenly forgets and it takes forever to distribute food. And also: "You have a knife and fork right there" after someone asked me to cut their food in half for them. Maybe I was bitchy, but some people are also dumb.
Gwarek2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:14:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This is not me, but someone else I happen to know, and he was actually bragging about it.
So, he worked at a supermarket and, as you may know, people who work retail often get asked about where certain food items are and whatnot. This one time (which would essentially be his last day) he got asked by a muslim about whether a food item contained pork or not, to which he replied "no", and the customer went and bought it.
Turns out it was totally made of pork, and someone else in their muslim household noticed...
(mandatory scandinavian sorry for muh english)
ki11bunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"HOW ABOUT YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF".
I have no idea why I said it or what made me say it, I just said it.
motocrossman707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
older gentleman came in with what looked to be his grandson...It was NOT his grandson... Found out after saying "Oh out with grandpa today? "
Raspeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told them the way to get past Fluffy was to play some music. I shouldnโt have said that.
Sorry but your question made me think of Hagrid!
_SmoothCriminal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a pharmacy. A lady was picking up her meds.
I noticed the lady's husband had his medication ready for pickup as well so I asked her if she'd like me to add his stuff.
She burst into tears and told me she found her husband cheating on her the week prior and they were getting divorced.
Stickiest fucking 10 minutes trying to back-pedal at light speed.
justeedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in highschool, I worked at the local Canadian Tire in my town. (Basicly a mix of Rona, Wal-Mart, a sporting goods store and a mechanic garage.) About a 20 minute drive to Quebec. Alot of French speaking customers who come in from Quebec and request to speak in French. (sometimes in perfect English). That is normal and most of the time I go and get a French speaking employee or they simply switch to speaking English.
Every so often you get a customer who gets sorta rude about not being able to speak French to them yourself. One day this older gentlemen comes in and speaking to me in French and I understand he is asking about hockey skates. I say how I can't speak French my self but I can bring him to the hockey skates isle and get a French speaking employee. He then says, in perfect English "Don't they teach you French in school?" I then reply with out thinking "Only to a certain grade. I got switched out to focus on something more useful."
French speaking Quebecers don't like to hear non-french speaking Canadians tell them French is not all that useful outside of Quebec.
stigmatic666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:20:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"You look thirsty" when doing direct sales of alcohol in a store. Turned out he was a recovering alcoholic.
geek66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:21:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have a "I'm glad I did"... This is component sales to the owner of a small manufacturing company. We did not do much business with them, less than $100K per year and we were supposed to have sent them to distribution, but they were often willing to buy surplus and overstock, to allow fast delivery and lower costs - BUT - then they always complained, about the delivery and the cost!!!
So one day I visited and after meeting with her husband; the real founder and main engineer / designer, it was a "Woman owned" enterprise to get govt jobs; well after he was berating me and our company about how bad we were, and then asked for more special deals.. I was kind of done.
I went and met with her to try to get paid for the last order ( maybe $30K in material) -- she started the same complaints.
So I said, "Well, it seems no matter what we do, our company can not satisfy you and your company. We will resend the last invoice and in that email I will provide the names of the Sales contacts of our main three competitors. I do hope that you have better luck with them."
The look on her face was priceless.
I left ..... before I could sent the email the next day they had wired in the payment, and they were much better after that.
In sales - there is NO BETTER position to be in than to be willing to walk away from business, or from a "bad client" - they suck up too many resources, cause disruption and are - just like a toxic employee...get rid of them!
OkFortune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not Me, but this was said to me
Rastaurant, very attractive server talking to me. She asks "On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard are You?" I couldn't keep a straight face, then she corrected herself to say how "hot" I was. It was a particularly warm day, I'll always remember that.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My dad used to work at Sam's and said that one time, he saw a guy buying a microwave. Trying to be nice, he asked, "Hey, did your microwave go out on you?" The guy replied, "No, my house burned down yesterday. We're buying this so we can eat for now."
xxopethxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:23:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was helping a customer who I've helped previously a week prior and she was being extremely impatient. She started getting aggravated about the wait time (2 minutes) and she says, "I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you. I'm just a really impatient person." And without thinking I responded with, "It's ok, I know you are." Woopsie!!
enterthedragynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:26:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Was working customer service in a call center at a very popular cell phone, wont say the name, but Can you hear me now?
Customer was not listening to what I was trying to tell him and was adamant about speaking to a supervisor. Was being very belligerent. So finally he said, just get me a to a supervisor.
I told him that we had a limited number of supervisors and that it may be a few minutes before I can get one on the line for him. He said, well I have already waited all this time! I responded "Then I guess you wont be upset about waiting a few more minutes then, will you?"
This little comment got me put on probation for a year.
nickledanibella86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Waiting tables: Annoying old man responded, "Hungry!" When I asked bow they were doing. I snapped back, "Well then, thank God this isn't the pet store then huh?!" Sometimes I have a problem of saying what I'm thinking.
noerrorsfound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Always found this a silly question to ask in a restaurant or anywhere else. Either people lie and say "good" just to be done with the fake pleasantry or they're honest and unload their life troubles on the underpaid employee who likely has their own struggles and isn't paid to be a therapist.
I, too, say "hungry" if a restaurant employee asks how I am. It's an honest answer, while it's also something the employee can actually help with. Worse is when they ask that question in a drive-thru or something. Do they actually want customers to give a long sob story and hold up the line? Don't ask the question if it's not genuine.
nickledanibella86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Promise you, pretty much every encounter with a server is not genuine. We ask that to be pleasant not that we care. You say hungry we roll our eyes so far back in our heads we see our brains. Just saying.
noerrorsfound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:21:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Seems easy enough to just...not ask the question? Why ask if you don't care? Being polite and friendly can be as simple as saying, "Hello!" with a smile, or "Hi, I'll be right with you." Unless you want a conversation, don't open yourself up to one by asking something open ended.
Every time a server comes up to ask if the food is good while I have my mouth full, or am mid-conversation with someone at the table, or if I've barely taken a bite, that's when I roll my eyes.
nickledanibella86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I should just say, "Hi. Whatcha gonna eat?" And leave it at that? Nah cause then I'd be considered rude and my tip would suffer.
Oh. Ohhhhh we know you roll your eyes. We do that intentionally. It's fun for us. If I like you, i won't ask at in innapropiate time, we are taught to be amazing at timing. I know exactly what I'm doing when you look like an idiot with half a roll out of your mouth and I cheerfully ask, how everything is. I don't think you realize how funny your face is.
noerrorsfound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's when you get no tip because you sound like a shitty server. Maybe if you hate people so much that you fuck with them and don't let 'em eat in peace, you're in the wrong career field.
nickledanibella86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh sweetie. You've either never worked in customer service, or haven't long enough. We get jaded and start to as you said hate people because of the abuse we are put through on the daily. It's the little things that get us through the day. That, and the fact that in a day I make $400 all while working on my degree. I think I'm doing something right.
noerrorsfound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:52:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have extensive customer service experience in retail, call centers, and even a restaurant. I treat customers with respect unless they give me reason not to. I've never become jaded to the point I start trying to ruin their experience just for kicks. I didn't say you were not making money, but $400 a day seems like a stretch if you're making payments on an FR-S. Bless your heart!!!
nickledanibella86 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
How you know you're losing the argument? You start pulling other things up besides the point. You don't know if I'm making payments on my car? Also, you took the time to find out what car I have. That's not weird at all. Oh goodie. A bless your heart southerner. We all know that it's actually an insult. Little bit of pot calling kettle black huh? I at least own up to who I am.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a waiter at Bob Evans. I was taking the order from customer who momentarily got something stuck in his throat. He put his hand up, coughed, cleared his throat. He said "excuse me, frog in my throat." I interjected with, "yah, you and Mrs. Piggy." His wife immediately cracked up, he acted weird initially but then chuckled.. I was in fear of them saying something to manager for the rest of their meal.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had three women come into my department in South Florida one day. Was an older German lady and her two adult daughters. Only one daughter spoke any English, the other German and Portugese, and the mother only German. Mom was buying a camera and would ask daughter 1 a question in German, who would then ask me in English, not knowing I could understand.
About halfway through the conversation, I started answering the questions in English before Daughter 1 would translate. This went on for a good few minutes before anyone picked up on it. During one question, mom realizes what's going on, stops mid-sentence, looks at me, and says, in German, "You understand German, don't you?" and starts laughing her ass off.
We all had a good laugh, but I regretted it all as soon as the discussion got to the more technical side since, while I was perfectly fine with conversational German that one would use everyday, my vocabulary was very limited when it came to technical camera terminology.
SexyEagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I drive a shuttle golf cart around campus where I go to college. The routes are clearly marked by a sign and as long as they donโt say โOff dutyโ, anyone can get on. At one point, my route is dead (it was pouring rain)and Iโm just waiting at a stopping point for passengers and reading. A guy walks up to me and says, โAre you still operating?โ Without thinking, I said, โNo, Iโm just sitting here because I like the rainโ that was one silent ride
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My moment is actually a story where I said nothing at all. I had my first job at 16. I was bagging groceries and fetching carts at a supermarket. I was standing at the end of the line bagging some items and the customer wanted a pack of cigarettes. When that happened the cashier had to leave their register and go get them. While the cashier was gone and I was waiting to start working on the next order I kind of zoned out. The customer asked me to bag something differently and it didn't even click that she was talking to me. I remember looking in her direction and just seeing her looking at me with a weird look on her face which I then decided to ignore. From her perspective she asked this kid to do something and he just stared at her blankly. My manager came up to me later and asked me if I was high. I said no, I wasn't. I was, however, an easily distracted teenager.
TheSirPoopington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:32:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once was on a support call for a customer who always had strange issues. He had me on speaker and we were going through it when we hit another snag. I typically would mute myself to talk to my team or whisper to myself. Well this time I forgot and accidentally groaned and said "I just wanna fucking kill myself." (It wasn't his issue that made me feel this way, it was the horrible job and the fact that I wasn't supposed to be taking support calls anymore, it merely triggered the queue of feelings) well him and the woman in the room start laughing hysterically and that's when I first figured I done fucked up. They realized their problems were quite tasking and excused me though, and no one else ever found out. Very nice of them.
Robbienobnob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:34:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a fastfood chain. Sometimes working at the cash registry gets pretty dull, and i start experimenting with things to say. One time there was a family of about 6-7 people, and they had made at pretty extensive order. As i said "is that all?" The mother (i assume) said, "oh no can we get crisscut fries with very meal instead of fries?". This requires me to redo the whole order. Im usually fine with this if they only do it once, but after i redid the order she asked if they could get milkshakes with their meals, and then i got pretty pissed since there was a line building up behind them. I said quite agitated "Is there anything else you want to change?" She said no. As she was paying she subltely apologized, and i said "oh well I get paid 10$ in hour anyways, so i dont care". She found this aggressive and called my supervisor.
Weird day man. (Sorry for bad english)
TSwizzlesNipples ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I told a cop that we didn't mind him pulling people over in our parking lot as long as he "didn't Rodney King anybody". In front of my manager.
ObsidianLion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy was looking for empty CDs. I told him its hard to find those now as no one uses them anymore as everything is switching to usb drives and sticks. He said he did and left. Later on I found out he complained to my management I reminded him of reality.
shuttterhappy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So this is the worst. However I don't really regret it. Long story. I'm a manager at a big box store and I am always the one who gets all the shit. It's a very stressful job and it's been pileing on lately. So I get a phone call from a customer. Shes mad about something and I have to go to the back to check something for her. She's being a real dick and I've had a bad day but I'm trying my best to keep my composure. As I'm in the back an associate stops me and says there's an angry lady at the front who wants to talk to me. I already got the information lady #1 wanted so I start talking to her telling her about it as I walk up to the front to the office to finish with lady #1s issue. Conveniently lady #2 is standing beside the office and the associate points me out to her and she starts yelling at me. At this point lady #1 is on hold so I quickly ask lady #1 what her issue is because maybe I can solve it quick since she's yelling that she has been waiting for me for so long. Turns out it's something I have to take a little more time for so I go into the office for a moment to try and complete the issue with lady #1. Lady #1 is still being a complete and total bitch to me screaming on the phone and asks me another question. Something I need to check in the back but hadn't while I was back there. (Something that doesn't even help our situation. She just wanted to know for the sake of knowing) I explain that I only grabbed the vital information for our situation and she loses it calling me an idiot and saying I clearly don't know how to do my job. Not wanting to walk past lady #2 without any answers yet, I make the dive and quickly leave the office and avoid eye contact with lady #2 who is now yelling at me for just walking by with no answers. All while I'm trying to calm down lady #1 on the phone who is also yelling at me. I make it almost to the back when lady #1 says "are you stupid why wouldn't you just wait in the back until I was completely finished" So my mistake was I told her I had another customer issue at the front so that's why I went up there and then I could finish her issue in the front office. Lady #1 stops and says she doesn't even want the information anymore. She just wants me to solve the problem. I told her that I am now at the back of the building and need to walk again back to the front to finish her problem in the office. And she LOSES it. She starts yelling about how it's unprofessional to help another customer when she still has a problem and saying "this is ridiculous I want you to appoligize to me" so I say " I am sorry about your situation and I am doing the best I can to solve it" she says "that's not a good apology. Say sorry again" so I say "I'm sorry that you didn't appreciate my initial apology and I am sorry about your situation. I am doing everything I can" she tells me that didn't sound sincere and to apologize again. At this point my whole body is shaking mad and I snap. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY IS THAT ENOUGH I'M SORRYS FOR YOU?" I was literally screaming at her. She obviously started to loose it on me and I'm walking back to the front. I've got angry tears in my eyes and I've blacked out to everything she's saying and just started losing it saying "DO YOU THINK I LIKE THIS? DO YOU THINK I LIKE BEING YELLED AT FROM 2 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS? DO YOU THINK I LIKE MY SHITTY JOB? DO YOU THINK I LIKE HAVING TO COME INTO WORK EVERY DAY AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU YELLING AT ME WHEN ALL I'M TRYING TO DO IS MY FUCKING JOB? DO YOU THINK I FUCKING LIKE THIS?" (To sum up what I said) so then I walk again past lady #2 who is again yelling at me and I go into the office I'm full on crying now and don't even have the phone against my head. I can hear lady #1 yelling and I throw the phone at the desk where another manager was working. I start having a panic attack and sit on the floor for a while. The other manager takes care of it. Tells the customer I'm not available to talk (she wanted to yell at me more) And lucky for me the next day was the start of my first ever vacation (up until this point I've never taken more then 3 days off in a row.) No one ever brought it up. Never got in trouble. Nothing.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: iโve been waiting for my order for nearly ten minutes! (Loudly and aggressively) Me: your life sounds hard
Kanotari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in auto insurance claims. This particular woman was trying to claim that literally everything in her neglected and abused fifth-wheel from the late 90s was related to her tires blowing out of the freeway. She was a pain in the ass and cussed me out multiple times when we refused to cover things that clearly had not happened, or were a result of obvious wear and tear. After five months of dealing with this claim and a solid half hour of her insisting in between insults to my character that her toilet was damaged in the incident (she had been using her toilet as a trash can and wondered why it overflowed and damaged her carpet), I finally snapped.
"Okay ma'am. Explain to me how your tire blowout made your air conditioner's fuse box need to be replaced."
"I don't like your tone of voice."
"That's okay. I don't like people who commit fraud."
My manager was equally frustrated with this woman, so thankfully she totally got it and didn't write me up, and let this horrid creature yell at her for a while about how unprofessional I was and about how she totally wasn't lying to us. I would have deserved the write-up, but it would have been totally worth it.
__celli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An unruly customer who rents vans from us weekly.
Heโs always asking for discounts or special treatment. He picks up from one of our small one-man locations. The guy who normally works there letโs the dude walk all over him. Me? Nah. That ainโt me. You respect me Weโre not doing business.
Anyways, he wanted me to fill up seven vans full of gas. Aka he wanted me to individually drive all seven vans to the gas station and fill it for him. with two other customers waiting.
I told him no, of course. That is not a service we offer and itโs against policy. As long as the van has 1/8 of a tank, Iโm 100% correct in giving it to you. Youโre on the hook for all the gas anyways.
He freaks out calling himself our best customer blah blah so I quickly responded โI have a contract I manage for 128 trucks for 3 years. If I calculated every penny you spent here in the last month, it wouldnโt even top his bill today. And thatโs one of many contracts of the like. If you stopped renting today, our finance team wouldnโt even notice the dip in sales. So no, you arenโt special, our company doesnโt need your business, and I wonโt risk my job or other customers to make you happy. You get what The company offers or youโre leaving. Thatโs how business works.โ
Oh man I got the whole โGIMME YOUR MANAGERS NUMBER BLAH BLAHโ. Thatโs when I realized fuck... I probably should have worded that more delicately.
Lucky for me, my manager backed me up and the dude left angry with his half filled vans.
stugotsCDXX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:40:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
African American with dreads comes into the store asking if we sold any papers, and I tell him no. As he turns to leave, he goes "wait yeah you do, right here" as he points to the news rack. He was not looking for rolling papers.
iHiTuDiE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had a customer 5 years ago say that WiFi gave his wife brain cancer, and he wanted the modem relocated to the living room 1wall over. When I asked if he wanted the WiFi turned off, he said no and I laughed out loud until I saw his very serious expression. Tried to explain how WiFi is literally everywhere, and moving the modem one wall over wonโt do anything. But thatโs what his brain surgeon said, and he believes her over a simple minded blue collar. Whatever. Did my job and billed him.
I had another customer recently that blamed her kids autism on the WiFi. So she keeps the modem unplugged, and plugs it in when she needs the internet. Well the power supply got fried from plugging and unplugging it so often one day. Tried to explain how disconnecting her modem wonโt get rid of her neighbors WiFi signals and she gave me a very horrified look.
Wils82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a groundskeeper at a renowned private school. There's one area kids are not allowed to go under any circumstance and is guarded heavily by a dog unit. One time three posh nosy kids keep pestering me about what's inside, I tried telling them to piss off but but I ended up blurting out that what's inside is strictly between professor Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel
snipa203 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:02 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a gas station for a while and it gets pretty hectic, anyway I like to be nice to people a lot so Iโll always say hello when someone comes in. However usually Iโm ringing up a customer, so occasionally when Iโd hear the door bell and someone come in, Iโd yell at them โDO YOU WANT YOUR RECEIPT?โ Meaning it for the person Iโm ringing up. Very embarrassing, and it happened a couple times.
shrike1978 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:48:05 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer was complaining that our price on something was higher than our competitor across town. Wouldn't stop complaining about it. I got frustrated and gave her directions to get to our competitor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
We went to a March For Our Lives rally last weekend. There was a girl near us in a wheelchair. My wife loudly exclaims that it is so good to see young people stand up for what they believe in. I was uncomfortable.
koolaidkronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
As a meat cutter, I had a woman tell me she wanted the best cut of beef, because anytime she buys another cut of beef it's always tough... then I suggested that she maybe just sucks at cooking.
AnUnluckyPenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guy was asking for help finding something that was in our DIY aisle. Instead of showing him where it was or saying "the DIY aisle. I said, "its over there in the um, Do-it-yourself aisle sir" in a super rude way (idk where the tone came from and it just sounded really rude, the second I said it I was terrified he was gonna get mad and start screaming at me). I cringe thinking about it and I'm so glad I didnt lose my job. Stuff like that has happened so many times now and I always feel so bad, I really do love customer service but I'm so bad at interacting with customers sometimes.
zaketyzak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Gotchya. Where i work we seat about sixty at a time so when I table gets fired everythingโs gotta go out together.
penutbutterandj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:51:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me โYour coupon expiredโ Customer โ let me talk to your managerโ Me โ well I donโt got time for this and neither do they. you can walk over there and wait in line at customer serviceโ
I didnโt regret too much , but got chewed out for it
Emerald_Flame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a flea market selling produce for awhile. Our spot was right beside some sliding glass doors. A guy walked up, the doors opened, backed up, they closed. He then turned, looked at me, pointed to the glass (as in see-through) doors which he just opened and asked "Are these the doors to go outside?"
I replied "Nope, that's the women's restroom".
His face was priceless. He got pissed and just started screaming. I really didn't regret saying it, just wish I didn't have to hear the screaming fit.
calebishot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not mine, but the other day my mom was ezplaining to a black customer that they didnt have any pants to fit his son. He started explaining how ever since his wife died, all his son did was eat and he didnt know how to stop him. My mom suggested that he needs to crack the whip
piccolowerinstrument ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โI truly donโt get paid enough to care about xโ
fucamaroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh yeah that... It happens all the time.
Woops
Come_to_the_City ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:54:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I thought a customer jokingly said that he was illiterate, so I laughed. He actually said that he is a widower. I don't know, man. The music was loud. He was cool about it.
chenjd2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:59:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at best buy we would get secret shoppers. They would come in and ask a lot of questions, but not actually buy anything. There was this one time a guy came in and was absolutely obvious that he was an secret shopper since he asked more questions about customer service than the actual product. But he was so focused on mentally checking off the questions he needed to ask that I was getting frustrated with him actually paying attention to anything I said. So when I asked him a question and he just stared at me blankly and went back asking me questions, I blurted out "It's like I'm talking to a monkey". I got written up when the report came back a few weeks later.
tappytapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I asked to see a womanโs photo ID (wording I specifically use to prevent other โoopsโ moments) to check against her card (not signed) and she went on this annoyed/angry rant about how she had to get finger-printed and have a background check for her job and somehow she ended up telling me that in our state apparently pole dancers and such needed licenses to do their work? She asked in pure annoyance and anger โwhat kind of test do those sluts have to take to get a stripper license!?โ
Before I could stop myself I blurted out โWell, if they fall off the pole they probably fail.โ
Another time I told a very sweet little old lady that โThe reader just wants you to be absolutely sure you know what youโre spending.โ Normal enough since itโs good to verify the total on screen is the same the cashier gave aloud. She nods and looks at the screen before asking me if anything is absolute in a friendly lighthearted manner.
Cue me saying โDeath.โ
Kinglech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not so much a comment but an action.
I'm a manager at a grocery store and it was a particularly slow day. I sent some help home to help with production. So I was bagging on a register to fill in for someone I sent home. The cashier and I decided to play a game where we'd tape our fingers together and make a "claw" out of our hands. We couldn't pick up anything without using our claw.
Fast forward about an hour and the cashier motions to me to cut it out. I think nothing of it because hey, I'm a manager who's going get me in trouble? After bagging half of the customer's order, I look up at the customer to greet him. He is glaring at me. I thought it was odd until I looked down and saw he had a prosthetic arm with a claw for a hand. Never before have I felt such a feeling of deep embarrassment. He didn't say anything nor did I. And you better believe I finished bagging his groceries while using my claws. Safe to say we have never played the claw game again. The customer still comes in weekly. I avoid him at all costs.
Mallet_Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:07:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was trying to say โDo you want cheese on that bad boy?โ But spaced it out too much and said โdo you want cheese on that? Bad boyโ
Rob1150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Hell, yeah I want cheese on that."
AlexWolfFTW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An older gentleman said that I wasn't qualified to be a bus boy. I said to him "I think I do just fine sir" he tells me to stfu, I get in his face and tell him "say that shit one more time". I was fired the next week
nagol93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:11:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Time to do the turntables! The customer said the thing to me!
So I work for an IT company and I was delivering/setting up some equipment to a client. I hand off some boxes to my client, then she makes a very sour face and says "Eww, dont do that!". Confused, I ask "do what?". She then says "that, its gross. People in my office do it all the time and I hate it". Still confused I ask again, "do what???". She says "That think with your hands, the popping noises"
I look down at my hands and im stretching out/cracking my figures (they get stiff, feels good to stretch them). Then, attempting to be polite, I just say "O, sorry about that". THEN she goes on a mini-rant about how weird it is to do that, laughing hysterically, talking about how its like "pulling the bones off my hand", all while laughing at me.
Im compleatly straight-faced (not amused at her making fun of me) and just say "ok". Then half-way into her laughing spree, it tunes into an awkward laugh and says "haha...h...aaaaaand im just now realizing your not laughing with me". I then say "Ya, now tell me where to set up this equipment"
99213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:13:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every so often, I'll accidentally say something "So if you wanna just walk over here when you're done" to a wheelchair bound person, or "I'm going to lift your feet" when adjusting the chair to a person with BKAs. Luckily I wasn't the one to say "can you give me a hand with this" to a patient with a hand amputation.
xavierg67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Delivered a pizza to a women at night. She says โstaying in tonight to eat with my son.โ I mean to say, โ couldnโt get any better right? but what comes out is โcouldnโt do any better right?โ She immediately says โ ohhh i could do betterโ stand in awkward as she signs the receipt.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:14:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Greek place that sold these platters. The platters consisted of a meat on a bed of rice, with grilled vegetables, pita bread and a side of the white cucumber sauce. We would always get college kids in and we had a college guy order one. I went to check on everything and see how everything was going and he is looking a fork around on his plate. "How am I supposed to eat this?
"With your mouth." noooo
Eruption of laughter from his table. I then explained that usually customers put a bit of each on the pita or mix all of it together.
Recabilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:15:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
6 years ago I was working at a photo studio and I had to call a lady to confirm an appointment... It was around this time that I started doing my YouTube gaming channel. Well I called the lady and left generic message "we're just calling to confirm your appointment..." but instead of saying something like "give us a call back" or "thank you, have a nice day" I said... "thanks for watchi-" I stumbled my words and hung up.. She never came in for her appointment.
IDAIKT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once mixed up the questions "Do you have a job at the moment, paid or unpaid" and "do you have a partner... (long explanation of how partner was defined)" and asked "do you have a partner at the moment, paid or unpaid"
Lucky for me the caller saw the funny side
Sodofett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Due to safety, i have to be on call on alternating holidays. I also have to work x-mas eve, memorial day, labor day, etc. Customers love to ask "oh my, they make you work Christmas Eve?" All innocent like.
I once replied "nope, inconsiderate people who schedule non-critical appointments on Christmas Eve make me work Christmas Eve...." with a big smile. Nothing came of it, noone knows what to think if you smile sweetly.
24qqaazz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a CD store at a rich suburban mall in the early 90's. I had long hair so it really was my only part-time job option. Anyway, this lady and her kid comes in and asks to see some Beatles CD's. I walk them over to the area and ask if there was a particular album she was looking for. She said not really she was looking for a greatest hits kind of thing. I pulled out the famous Blue and Red albums and said that these were the best ones to choose from and that she could choose between the Beatles not on drugs or on drugs. She was visibly taken aback and sternly told me that it was not appropriate to talk about that in front of her kid. I apologized profusely and offered to introduce her to my manager if she wanted to make a formal complaint. (My manager was a good friend of mine and I figured he would ream me out a bit in front of her but wouldn't fire me or anything.) She relaxed a lot when I offered this and said it wasn't necessary. I apologized again and told her where the rival CD store was in the mall and that I was sure they would have the CD she wanted there if she preferred giving them her business. She bought the CD from me and smiled while she did it. I think she appreciated that I directly addressed her issue and made no effort to excuse myself. I knew my job was safe but if the DM (mega-bitch) had been there it would not have been.
IAIRonI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:43 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asked a customer how they were doing today and they ignored me and proceeded to order. Without hesitation I said in a loud voice im doing fine thank you for asking. Rest of the transaction was awkward for him.
Chulafinee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I am a police officer. Years ago, I was responding to a minor traffic accident with no injuries. As Iโm arriving another officer said something on the radio that made me laugh (unrelated to the call I was responding to). As I got out of my car I was still laughing. I realized a police officer laughing at the scene of a wreck was inappropriate, so I apologized to the two drivers. After I explained why, one driver said it was okay, but the other driver appeared unhappy, but she didnโt comment about it. The next day my supervisor called me into his office and said the lady complained. He was mad, and told me to go to her place of work and apologize. She worked a car dealership in town. When I arrived the receptionist said all the employees were in a meeting, but for me to go on in. When I entered the room there was about 15 people sitting at a table, to include the lady I was there to see. The owner of the dealership was laughing, and said โI guess you are the laughing copโ- which made everyone else laugh. I the humbly apologized to the driver. After I finished, a co-worker said very loudly to me โitโs okay, she is a Bitch to everyone โ. I laughed and walked out.
touchmybanana47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone I was serving had never been to the restaurant before and I said โI love virgins!โ She didnโt think it was funny.
CrazyMonkey1268 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:23:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Is there anything else I can be of assistance with today?"
Atibana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at Cheescake factory, was supposed to say "Hot cheese and artichoke dip" instead said "Hot cheese and artichoke DICK". Really leaned into the dick, no hiding it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:27:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was working front desk at an inn, a couple was staying in the only room we have that has another room above it. Upstairs folks were celebrating after a wedddng rehearsal dinner, but they weren't particularly noisy enough that I would interfere. It was just family having a nightcap pretty much. Downstairs the woman was 9 months pregnant and had a migraine. Complained about the noise. I would have happily offered her a quieter room, but we were full that night. I slipped and mentioned that their room happened to be the least expensive one because of its location, and she flipped. I did ask the folks upstairs to be mindful and respectful, but a few days later I got a scathing review from the pregnant woman saying that what I told her was totally unprofessional and that because they have the least expensive room that they deservedly subject to noise.
Bmoonie225 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:28:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At the place I worked at as a cashier, I was required to ask for ID for every type of alcoholic purchase and there was this one day where an ancient old lady was purchasing a beer with her meal and when I asked for her ID she clearly looked salty and so I said: โIโm sorry miss but I donโt think you look a day over 21 years old!โ
The only smiled and laughter were from the people around who had heard what I said and saw no absolutely no positive emotion from the lady. Didnโt feel so great after that one.
Noname01101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:29:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a merch table and a large man asked if we had any medium sized hoodies. We were trying to get rid of the current merch and only has XXL. I told him that was all we had and he said, โnah.โ Iโm still embarrassed that I said, โWHY?!โ He said it was for his girl and I (still) feel like the biggest asshole.
charleseh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:54 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While working in a meat dept. at a grocery store. A lady asked me where the hot Italian sausage was. I told her she was looking at it, she then started to get very upset.. but legitimately the hot Italian sausage was on the counter right in front of her.
She reported me to the manager and I still got in trouble.. so worth it though
katatonos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:29 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I answer an IT help desk. I regret nothing.
pimpmastahanhduece ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:34 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Asking about their day to a regular.
not_avixk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:32:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at the dollar store at the time, and about a week after I started, a few teenagers came in and bought some candles and party-related items. I asked, "Are you having a party?" She says, "no, I'm going to a candle lighting." I'm like, oh shit. Uhhh say something you dumbass. So I said out of nowhere "so it is a party?" My heart dropped. I could feel my soul drain out of me as my eyes rolled back in my head. They gave me a look and left. May we never meet again.
AugustTB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
In my teens i worked at a McDonald's in the Netherlands. One summerday a bus of British tourists came by. One of them just ordered a bottle of water, and it was customary for us to ask if they wanted a straw with that. But somehow i had a total brainfart in the translation section and asked her: "Do you want a stroke with that?"
It took a second before i realised what i had said and all i could think was why she gave me that look like i could drop dead.
Keanu_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:34:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in a fur tannery, and we got a lot of customers from Alaska. Can't remember there leadup,I had been shooting the breeze with your customer for a while, but my line was something about Alaska being a frozen wasteland and no one really wanting to live there. Not my brightest moment.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:36:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
โHope your day is as pleasant as you areโ
Dave41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:38:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked tech support for a company that owns several hotel chains. Had one general manager call up to load new rates in her system...now she had called and spoke to me 8 times in the last month for the exact same request. So me figuring she should know how to do this, tells her to go to rates menu...she replies with you are tech support you need to tell me how to do this. Under my breath i mutter "idiot" to which she says what did you say..i of course tell her i said nothing. Showed her how to do her job yet again, guy next me gets a call a few minutes later that is a supervisor call right away, I asked what happened and he just pointed at me...got written up..oh well no regrets she was an idiot.
DewayneCW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:39:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I once said to customer that "I don't drink bud light, i'm not a degenerate"
Skippyt17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:12 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Work in a casino and had a regular who always had a bad attitude and was always "down" as soon as he walked through the door sit at my table one night. The game was Texas Hold'em Bonus, so like Hold'em but against the casino and focused around a bonus game.
After about three hours of him whining and calling a a terrible dealer and telling me I suck, i had finally had enough. The next hand he lost he looked up at me with an angry face and said "you fucking suck", i calmly looked him in the eye and said "how do I suck, i'm the one winning?"
He hasn't sat at my table since, this was over a year ago.
KTthemajicgoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:40:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworkers mopped the floor and didnโt put a wet floor sign up. But what he didnโt know was that the regional manager for the company came in that day and yelled at him for not wet floor sign after almost slipping. He said โmaybe you should just be more carefulโ
Aperzus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It happened to me when I was working at Macdonald, you know student job.
We were almost going to close the restaurant but a last customer wanted to take an order. For the story I need to give you some details about her : she was an overweight woman, she couldnโt stop said โmmmh all this burgersโ or sentence like that and she ordered SO MUCH food.
But one moment she stopped and ask me ยซย I dunno what to drink : water or sodaย ? ยป
I was stuck at the counter since 20 min with her and a bit pissed off, losing time to close the restaurant. So I said : ยซย you know, with how you look like and all your order, it not matter so take a sodaย ยป.
At this moment, the time had literally stopped... But she said ยซย oh yes you right! Letโs take a sodaย my boyยป.
My God, my manager couldnโt be mad at me, too busy to laugh.
xiroian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in alarm monitoring. Dealers used to call in while they were on installs to verify account details, and that everything was in working order. One in particular caught me on an off day, sounded like he was calling from inside someone's house in a cell dead zone, so I was getting every third word if I was lucky.
Now I remember I had a history with this one dealer in particular, I talked to him a lot. Shitty attitude on a good day, not a lot of patience. Had to keep asking him to repeat himself because, for obvious reasons, getting all the info right here is kind of important. He lost his patience and started cursing me out for not listening. Without missing a beat I asked him to "Stop calling me from a basement the middle of nowhere on his fisher-price fucking cellphone."
He paused, I heard him walk upstairs, and we continued the call. From that day forward he greeted me by name any time I got him on the line and we were perfectly cordial to one another.
aBitFantastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in womens clothes in a department store. A large lady comes up and asks for the women's section. I asked if she wants women's clothes or 'womens' clothes (while mimeing a big belly). She sighs and says yes, the larger sizes. I still feel bad about potential fat shaming her...
beercan_dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Might be late to the party, but hey.
Got handed the pink slip for this one.
Worked at cellphone retailer/company. Mainly we set up the contracts. I had just finished learning how to explain the contract to customers and was doing my second one I believe. I get to a section where I have to explain that we would help with all of the simple setup or something like that: something that most people know how to do, and it was obvious that this was for the more elderly population who knew nothing of smartphones. There was a long line and it was busy, so I was trying to race through this contract. For the life of me I don't know why I said it, but: "Don't worry about this part. It's for old people who don't get it." I knew the moment I said it I was done. I saw one of the other employees walk to the back office, while an elderly person in line said: "We're not all dumb ya know!"
I got fired the next day, and when they told me I said: "yyyyep, I'd of fired me too."
nomequeeulembro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is lame, but there it goes.
I was new and was having a very rough day. Nonstop calls and most were rude. Then some women called and she was super polite and sweet, like a very good person. As I finished the call she thanked me and said I was polite. I was happy for such a nice call in a sea of rudeness and without thinking I said "Thank you, you were very sweet!". It was very awkward haha.
Also I slept and snored on a call once. Dude called me for 45seconds before I woke up. I could have been fired or something but he was super chill about it.
sharr_zeor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:45:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This story is a rather long one, bit context is needed
I used to work front of house for a bar/restaurant, that occasionally got booked for night time events.
We had a Christmas party booking that went on for far too long, I had been working since 6am for the breakfast rush, the party had started at 7pm and it was now nearing 2am the following morning.
There was one table of middle-aged women who were taking their time leaving, and they kept moving and kissing a singing Santa statue we had on display, taking decorations down and otherwise being a nuisance
After asking them politely several times to not touch the decorations, I lost my patience and started packing them away
They moaned and asked why, to which I said "some of these are rather expensive and others are irreplaceable as they were donated by members of the local community, or made by hand by people who have since passed away" (this is true)
After I had finished packing away, one of the women grabbed me by the arm and said "You are, by far, the rudest barman I have ever encountered. We were only having a little fun."
I responded with "having fun doesnt mean you can get away with damaging property, after you were asked politely several times not to touch"
"Hmmph. Well. I have a large family and I can assure you that none of us will ever be coming here again!"
"Honestly? Thank god for that! If they're anything like you then we wouldn't want them here anyway! Maybe our decorations will survive a little longer!"
I regretted it as soon as I had said it, but they soon left and I never had any repercussions thankfully.
That Santa still has lipstick stains, and they detached one of the moving arms from the motors, so now it can't be put on the display for the kids anymore, its such a shame
flyonawall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:25 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit likes to bitch about customers but sometimes the servers can be bitches too. I went through BK drive through yesterday and when I got to the order box, a girl responded to me to "please wait". So I did, and waited and waited and then someone came out and told me to pull forward, which put me past the ordering talk spot and in an awkward postion to order. The girl finally came back on and I had to shout my order behind me. It was stupid. She then proceeded to tell me I had backed up so she thought I was gone and that was why she had not taken the order. I had done no such thing and ordered and reminded her she asked me to wait, so I did. She then got all pissy with scolding me about "backing up". I could not have backed up, even if I wanted to as there were cars behind me. She was really bizzarely rude to me. I don't know what was going on there.
claptrap23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:48:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer: See you tomorrow
me: You too thanks!
/facepalm
foundanoreo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Why is this facepalm
claptrap23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
shoulda added context, I was calling a candidate to offer a job interview. He was coming the next day but I wasn't gonna be in the office so he ought to ask for one of my colleagues.
the "you too" just sounded out of place.
foundanoreo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:33:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
your inner monologue might as well be second you.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer wanted a specific type of soda that was empty on the shelf, so I told cordially told him Iโd check if there was any in the back and he said hed follow and we both happily walked to the door of the back area and he could see through the little window it has. I grabbed one case that I immediately saw and brought it to him. He says โill take literally everything you haveโ so I said okay, went back, and found the single other case of the one he wanted, but it was surrounded by similar looking cases but with completely different flavors, and I tell him โthis is the last one :) here you go sirโ his face immediately goes blank and he gets right up to the window and says โI see one right there.โ With this โfuck youโ tone, and I LOST it.. I flung the door open and said โyouโre welcome to come back here and check yourself man, thats a different flavor!โ With a very โfuck you tooโ tone. He recoiled and talked under his breath and said โsorry I thought that was the same one....โ and walked away.
My hours were cut almost in half the following week... haha
metrognome64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:54:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Problem customer walks in.
Me: Are you Beetlejuice? Cause I literally just said your name and then you appeared.
Him: Oh? Why were you talking about me?
Me: Oh, nothing bad. I was just telling my co-workers I saw you at the Hardware store on my day off and ducked into an aisle so I wouldn't have to talk to you.
Him: ???
Me: In my defense, I was wearing sweat pants and no makeup and was avoiding everyone... not just you.
iBeFloe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:56:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a ma & pa ice cream shop (NOT AS FUN AS YOU WOULD THINK).
This woman comes in during our busy hours when the shop is full of people & when she finally gets to me she says... with the largest, fakest grin... โTell your boss he needs to get a line divider & set up another cash register to the side. I donโt even know where the line starts.โ
Mind you...the shop is small. Big enough to have people, too small for a โline dividerโ. The line is also literally just...a straight line out the door. I tell her โThat would restrict walking space in the shop & we donโt have enough people to have 2 cashiers running. Not enough people would be in the back scooping. โWell thatโs something you should tell you boss. I waited 5 minutes.โ Still making that faking grin expression. Again, the shop is full & her waiting 5 min isnโt that big of a deal considering that we were packed.
After she FINALLY orders & pays she tells me โYou should listen to your customers. I come all the time :)))โ I finally just say โWell we donโt really need your bad advice. The door is right there.โ Her: โIโM NEVER COMING AGAIN. I HOPE YOUโRE HAPPY!!!!!โ
My boss was behind me the entire time giggling because he knew my personality & thought it was funny that I was holding myself back so much lol
The next customer obviously heard everything & felt awkward walking up when he saw that I switched back to my customer service face (aka smiles all day err day).
Hushwater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:10 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I use to be a cashier some woman asked why the Hershy bars were on sale and without missing a beat I said "because they are infected with botulism" then laughed, she gasped and told my manager and I got fired because I was on thin ice.
Rasxt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a small child to fuck off.
zachdog6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:57:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, how can I help you?
Rynodawg11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was in car rental and a customer came in to return his vehicle. He had an unlabeled clear plastic container filled with assorted nuts with him. During the return he asked me if I wanted to have them as he did not want them anymore. I immediately replied, "Sorry Sir, My mom told me to never take a stranger's nuts" My manager was at the counter as well and went, "really man???!?" I'm really glad he took the joke well.
Fharo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking with a client on a billing that I had sent them and told them we had an office bet that she would call and say the numbers didn't match. She had this terrible habit of re-entering my billing into her own excel spreadsheet and then claiming mine was wrong. Problem is she didn't have a clue how to use excel and I would inevitably waste an hour explaining how to correctly use formulas. This happened every month for over a year.
She had her MBA and was the executive VP at a large bank...
--NiNjA-- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:03:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"I've never heard of those."
We receive "those" the next day.
UnfoundBody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:05:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I use to work in a bar. One super busy friday night I was alone on the bar for an hour or so. There was this one guy that was just waving his money at me for ages (I knew where his place was in the queue so I continued serving others.) As I passed him going down the bar I lent in and asked him to stop waving money at me like I was a stripper (probably not as politely as I could have). I then went to serve the woman a few people down from him.... it was his wife.... she asked to see the manager.
FarragoSanManta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not to a customer but to a kid that kept hitting and trying to steal things. I meant to say โHey man please stop it or Iโll have to tell your mom.โ But I really said โ Stop or youโll never see your family again.โ It worked...
OzzieBloke777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:06:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This one worked out in the end, at least.
My first job as a veterinarian, about a month into it. A little old lady who looked like she hadn't smiled since the day she was born bustles in with a Jack Russell missing half its fur, and immediately launches into a long, winding story about how she had been to another vet and the dog had been on repeated courses of antibiotics, steroids, and whatnot, without any improvement.
I suspect demodectic mange, caused by Demodex mites. I tell her that the very first thing I need to do is do a skin scraping for the mites. "They did that already at the last vets and found nothing!" She responded.
"Yes, but you have to do a lot of scrapings, because if you do just one, you will likely not see the mites. And sometimes even after multiple scrapings you don't see them, but they are still there."
"And that's supposed to convince me to do it?!" she responded.
My mouth went on autopilot as I was typing notes on the computer. "Well that's why they are probably called mites. Because you might see them, or you might not."
I froze, then turned to the sight of a cold, hard stare of disbelief from the elderly client that a veterinarian was making puns at the expense of her poor dog. I smiled. She humphed, consented to the skin scraping, and on the fourth scrape I found the little bastards, started the dog on treatment, and within a month its fur had regrown.
From then on she routinely requested me for consultation for the duration of the three years I worked at the practice. Seems no-one dared to make jokes around her thanks to her stern countenance, so I think she was quietly happy that someone wasn't afraid of her.
The_Original_Gronkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:08:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I owned an ice cream shop and it was really busy, and I was really tired, but i was trying to keep morale up so when a customer asked me if I had crushed nuts I just answered with the first thing that popped into my head - "Yeah, but it's a personal problem and I don't really like to talk about it."
It was like a moment in a movie where everything stops and went quiet and all heads turned towards me. I hadn't realized how loud I said it. I didn't think it would be heard over all the noise. Then everybody laughed and my employees rolled their eyes.
One of them had a Twitter account back then called "Shit my boss says," and she would often pull out her phone and send off a tweet in the middle of a conversation and I would ask if she just tweeted what I said and she'd nod.
panacheful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
At Papa John's and I was complaining about the thin crust pizza being essentially a cracker. A little while later a well done thin comes out and I say "see, look at this cracker." Then I look up and there's a white lady in the lobby staring at me.
writingskimmons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:09:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was first working at a convenience store that sold liquor, I was still getting used to judging people on how old they are and whether or not I should ask for their ID.
I made the mistake of asking someone for their ID and he told me that he was old enough to be my father. He was about fifty and I'm in my mid-twenties so I could believe it, but then I said:
"Oh, are you seventy? Because that is how old my dad is."
He just showed me his ID and I told him to have a nice day. My manager was right there so I thought I would get reprimanded, but she about died laughing when he left.
Kailyncookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:11:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer was digging into one of my coworkers real bad. The customer asked to talk to her supervisor, so the coworker came and grabbed me. The customer then said (loud enough for the coworker to hear) that she had a bad attitude. The coworker decided it best to walk back over and tell the customer that she was the one with the bad attitude. The customer and I were both in shock. The customer said that was totally unacceptable and asked what I was going to do about it. All I could think of to say was, "I'm sorry you feel that way," over and over again. My manager wasn't happy.
greggilliam2nd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I told a customer our cost on a part and not our marked up resale cost. My boss was not happy.
pop_punk_dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Little late to the party but, I work at a golf course and I do this stuff every day. Best one was an Asian couple came into the shop to pay for their round. And like almost every asain group that comes to play golf they want a discount, when I tell them their total they start to haggle with me, I was beyond annoyed and just straight up told them "mam this is not a fish market I have set prices not up for haggling"
They paid the amount after that
Tommysrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend working at a best buy hungover, guy comes over and ask for help to find a CD on the other side of the store. Friend begins walking with him and the guy tries to be friendly:
Guy: "So what kind of music do you like?"
Friend (without thinking): "I don't like music"
Stone silence after that, guy apperently meets one person on earth who doesn't like any type of music. My friend realized how harsh that was a few minutes later but I found it hilarious.
ehudson2019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:21:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer said that here dad died 2days ago... Dumbass me said "It's been to days get over it" I still have the job
Kidterrific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:40 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Ma'am, this is a hospital, not a hotel."
Residency was not easy that night.
UbeTyranny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:22:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Lady had us come out to clean out a dryer vent (yes, for those unaware, you should have those checked every year or two). After having called us out for the work, she spent 15 minutes telling us how our service wouldn't be good enough based on how simple the process sounded, and essentially accused us of lying to her and basically scam her. HVAC and duct type work does have its fair share of scammers, so I suppose that's understandable, but I knew that we did good work. She probably just read some stuff online and thought she understood everything about the process already, so was trying to call us out. I told her I'd take care of it anyways since we were out there, if she was comfortable with it, and grabbed my equipment to route the duct from outside.
I don't remember what it was, but she said something that really struck a nerve as I walked out of the house, and while it wasn't so much what I said and more so what I did, I ended up spiking my routers to the ground as hard as I could. I could just faintly hear her inside still going at it, this time more deservedly so, with an, "Oh yeah, that'll make everything better."
I immediately knew I was being extremely unprofessional, to say the least. I was so angry, but also embarrassed. I still cleaned the duct haha, and went inside to sincerely apologize. Not for doing a bad job, but for my behavior, and I made that clear. She seemed to calm down a bit, but took on a lecturing tone like, "How do you think it makes me feel when you show up and lie to me" kind of shit. Head so far up her ass... but that doesn't excuse me throwing a tantrum. I was in my early 20s at the time and had dealt with a few difficult customers, but none so willing to attack me on a moral and personal level. I know this customer sounds like a cake walk for most people in customer service, but I never really developed thick skin, so I ended up driving back with tears running down my face. Luckily boss man was understanding. Worked the job for a few more years, but even then, I think that was really the only incident that got to me.
Edit: TLDR I got mad and threw my stuff on the ground, and then drove away while crying
Desi1126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I had just restocked my coolers with beer while I was bartending out at the pool at the club I work at. Someone asked for a Stella and I warned it might not be up to temp since I just put it on ice. He said he'd take it anyways.
So he grabs the beer and orders a burger from the grill next to the bar and sits down with his burger and his group of friends he just finished golfing with. He takes a few bites of his burger and right within ear shot of the grill cooks says "well looks likes it's warm beers and shitty burgers today". The look of dejection on the grill cooks face made my heart break, which immediately turned to anger at this dude. The grill cook is just this 18 year old kid that put a lot of effort into his burgers, making Burgers of the day, created his own special sauce, he loved the job.
So someone else who has ordered a burger flagged me down to bring him a beer so I walk over and say in a way over the top cheery servers voice "Here's your ice cold beer and I'm sure that burger is gonna be dang delicious" I turned to walk away and there was a split second of silence where my job flashed before my eyes. Then a burst of laughter came from all of the guys friends because apparently he's a notorious curmudgeon and they love seeing him being put in his place.
Freadan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a restaurant with an open line, the final prep/cooking area could be seen by most of the tables, and a good chunk of people went past our counter when going to their seats. It's not uncommon to have customers try to interact with us, usually we're busy. One night, during a busy service, one guy was going to his seat walking with the owner and stopped and said "What's good on the menu tonight?"
I blurted out "Everything's good, we don't serve bad food here." He chuckled, the owner glared, and the other cooks busted up laughing as well. The owner later said that they appreciate the positive attitude, but I should be more careful with how I talk to customers.
_THE_asshole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I have two, both hppened many years ago.
1: i was carving prime rib for a wedding party and the bride comes up to the table. Gorgeous white dress, jist all done up, very beautiful! She proceeds to ask for a thicker slice so im like ok cool i got ya.
I cut her this monster of a piece that she wanted and as im delivering it to her plate it slips berween the fork and my knife and flops down onto the plate splattering juice all over her wedding dress. I look at her and say
"holy fuck im so sorry you look like complete shit im so sorry"
She looks at me, then at the 6 or so year old kid next to her in horror and storms off! The nerve of her! Jk lol
2: working at a walmart some years ago and this girl comes in at 3 am looking for a new computer with a webcam. Clearly tell she was a camgirl and so i help her out. She then goes on to say she needed something else but couldnt remember what and for some reason i just replied "condoms are on isle x over in health and beauty and lube is on the same isle, pregnancy test are on isle y and if you need anything else we dont have them but im off at 7am"
I was such a dumb kid.
ProbablyNotHung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:27:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This thread is super full already, but here is my waiting tables fuck up:
I was working at a hot, new farm-to-table restaurant with an annoyingly complex menu. I would always start off with explaining the size and types of plates we have, what you should share, etc.
I often bounce between "Allow me to take me through a "quick" or a "brief" tour of the menu".
Except for this time, I was serving my first large party of a dozen or so people in a quiet private room, and stumbled and said: "Allow me to queef through the menu with you all".
It was a rough night.
supportyaboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:28:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Someone called my coffee shop asking what time we close at and without thinking I instantly responded โour hours are on the exact same website you found our phone number onโ. Iโve never accidentally spoken like that to someone and luckily they didnโt file a complaint.
im-cold-pls-help ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a yacht club when I was 16-17. It was a member place so the same people came around a bunch. One guy started to come without his wife and kids
Coworker: โhey bob howโs it going. Havenโt seen the wife around here much where is she at?โ
Customer: โoh we separatedโ
Me: โYikesโ
I canโt believe I said that out loud
Definitely_Working ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:31:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
working at a pizza place, girl i worked with had been warned a bunch of times for trying to wear leggings for work. at one point she starts small talking with a customer about liking the design on her leggings, and makes a comment about wishing they could wear leggings, and i said "me too" and got a blank stare, and then i folliowed it up with "what, you think guys dont want to be comfy too? i hate these damn khaki's" and they both laughed about it, but i quickly realized they had thought i meant that i wish they would be wearing leggings. manager pulls me aside shortly after to scold me about it and i explained how there was nothing sexual about it, but they just kept repeating the same dumb lines over and over again about making sure women feel comfortable so i just left and quit because it bothered me so much the way it was handled. learned i have to stop being a human being to get along in the work place so now i just dont ever joke around.
crestedgeckosarecute ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:33:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, this is the opposite. Don't say this to your cashier moment.
I had one lady come in and i said hi welcome to ___. and she was like wow you sound so enthusiastic (sarcasm). i joked and said i was tired. she went off on me saying i shouldnt be tired (Im a senior in high school; wake up at 5:30 am and then go home get dressed and usually work until 9 sometimes 10 pm.) Then my general manager walked and she told him i was complaining i was tired to her!! I was like wHAT I WAS KIDDING
Then she goes on to say that until Im a parent with a full time job i have no right to be tired. I was like oh well i understand that i have a single mom and raise my sister. she had the audacity to say (IN FRONT OF HER CHILD) said that at least my mom's ex husband isn't a trans.
I literally was like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh and the kid freaked out screaming mom she didn't need to know that!!
The lady was crazy and rude that evening and i just was in shock.
IceCreamManwhich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:36:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, to be honest, we provide a service nobody really needs. You could easily do everything we do for a fraction of the cost, but people don't want to deal with that so they pay us to do it for them."
I really liked the guy so I just gave it to him straight. He worked for a corporate structure so he didn't care lol
molly__hatchet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I politely asked a woman to step back from the counter slightly until I was done with the customer ahead of her. I knew I'd fucked up as soon as the words left my mouth. I've never seen someone's face change that fast. It was like the mayor in Nightmare Before Christmas.
Renniization ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:37:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
EMS. The patient was the customer. I was helping a little old, sassy lady. When we got outside to the ambulance, she pointed at a statue of an Angel and said "that's me". I promptly followed with "not yet" (._.
PaoloFromPhilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:38:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A lady said she needed a name change form, I said congrats thinking she got married. Her response:
My fucking husband cheated on me and I went through a terrible divorce
i_be_boppin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:42 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was when I was a cashier at CVS. I was really tired one shift, and as a middle aged man was done purchasing detergent I handed him his receipt and I said "Bye, love you"
Ilikedaggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:40:58 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Christmas day at the local pub.
MIL: (after being given champagne in a plastic flute) Can I have an actual glass please?
Barman: You can if you come over this side of the bar and do it yourself theres a queue
pinksoccer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:42:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a restaurant and taking a to go order over the phone. The customer was using this service where they type something and the operator speaks for them. I was repeating their order back to them and stumbled on a word, I said "sorry, I guess I can't talk today" There was 10 seconds of silence then the operator says under her breath "Jesus, dude". I said a quick sorry, told them the order would be ready in 15 minutes and made somebody else handle it when they picked it up.
sexysouthernaccent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:06 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally told my patient my salary when talking about how two competing companies handle compensation
HoneyBuns_54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:35 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a hotel on evening shift, 4 construction workers come in at about 10pm and I was sold out except for a few reservations. I didn't have anything booked for them but I searched for anything in the future or past thinking it may have been a mistake. The biggest and ugliest of them gets super heated at me and starts yelling everything along the lines of "you better find something" and "we're staying here no matter what". After 15 minutes of searching I suggest they're at the wrong hotel. Before I can offer to call around and find the correct place, he bangs his fists on the desk and says " well you better come out and start building us some f**king rooms", leaning over as much into my face as possible. I drop what I'm doing, pat my hips like I'm confused, and calmly say "well I would but I seem to have forgotten my tool belt this evening". He sees red, his co-workers pull him over and make him sit down. He fake laughs at me and just starts mocking me from a distance. Like a 6 yr old. They were at the wrong place. He complained on me but my boss watched the tapes and said I handled it well considering he was twice my size and in my face.
elizaisamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:52:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
one of our patients was wearing a Vietnam cap, so in order to make small talk while checking him out after his visit with the doctor, I said "so what was the best thing about Vietnam?" yea... the cringe is too real with that one. I was mortified when I realized what words left my mouth.
DiddyMao20XX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:59:53 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work for a company that produced telematic monitoring devices for fleet vehicles.
After spending 20 minutes or so troubleshooting this device I determined that it was likely broken and needed to be replaced. (Not uncommon at all, a lot of fleet vehicles are a toxic wasteland and the drivers are not invested in keeping their nanny boxes in working order.)
"It was working yesterday" they replied. "Yeah well that's the definition of something breaking isn't it?" I responded before I could stop myself.
I then spent 15 minutes getting a stern talking to for being an asshole.
elemjay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:01:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I may have shared this one ages ago on a TIFU.
Iโve worked in I.T. for a while, and this is a tale from a company I no longer work for. I was the lead on this particular deployment project where a customer was changing out network equipment and internet circuits to my companyโs new managed services. We would work with a field tech who would set up equipment, get the go-ahead from the site to change them over to the new service, test, and make sure all was working properly.
This required my team to interface with one of the customerโs engineers for them to complete changes on their side for the migration to the new managed service. I got along pretty well with the engineer. He was a little crude and crass at times, but nothing I was offended by. His preferred method of communication was IM, given that he was on the phone often, and it was quicker than email. I created a disposable IM username to accommodate that - no problem.
One of my colleagues is running a little long on one siteโs install because the field tech ran into some challenges on site. Itโs coming up on the end of the business day. The customer engineer sends me an IM:
โTell [co-worker] to hurry the hell up. Itโs beer-thirty, and heโs beer-blocking me.โ
I know he is mostly joking, though not about wanting to leave. I did want to tell him to calm his ass down, but I knew that might not have gone over well. My response still wasnโt the most professional one, but for some reason, I felt compelled to respond in a similar manner.
โHeโs working on it. Keep your hair on.โ
Right as I was hitting Enter on that, I immediately regretted it. My former company is based multiple states away from where the customer is headquartered, so in-person interaction with our customers was extremely rare. I had never met the customerโs engineer. One of my other colleagues would cut-up on the phone with the engineer from time to time, and probably knew him a little bit better than I did. One fact that my colleague mentioned in passing about this engineer all of a sudden came rushing to the forefront of my mind.
The engineer is bald.
And whatโs my next response in my immediate realization?
โOh wait...โ
He gives me a response of, โOh, ha ha.โ
My emotional state? Some weird swirl of uncontrollable amusement, horrified embarrassment, and guilt. Not only did I accidentally make a crack about this guyโs appearance, it now looks like I made a bitchy, high-school Mean Girl-style follow-up remark. What if this guy was one of those guys who is sensitive about being bald? Or if it was something medical?
I then followed it up with a wall of text IM, apologizing profusely, and stating that I only meant that as an expression. I am very fortunate that the engineer did not take offense and relay this to my companyโs management. I did eventually tell my boss about it a while after the fact, but at the time it was one of those moments where my career flashed before my eyes.
Poonchichi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:21 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in high school a dude told me that his friend working at Taco Bell had a customer say to him "if my balls were on your chin, where would that put my dick? ". The guy did not say amything so as to not get fired.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It's a shame that it isn't socially acceptable that when a customer is being an asshole that the customer service rep/waiter/waitress/support/clerk/cashier or whoever will not be reprimanded for rightfully dishing it back. I hate having to kiss-ass to rude disrespectful people.
joefeole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:12:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working at a portrait studio and had a mother, her newborn baby and the babies grandmother in for a three generation shoot. These people looked like they just came from a carnival or something. The grandmother that was probably in her late 50s had on a sparkly gold skin tight lycra dress that showed off all of her fat rolls with matching eye makeup and eyebrows that were drawn on at various heights as well. Her daughter that just had the baby had a halter top on that showed off all of her pregnancy stretch marks. It must have been her idea to have the pictures taken because the grandmother says "I don't know why you dragged me down here. Nobody wants pictures of our ugly mugs" Without thinking I replied "at least the baby is cute" Either they didn't hear me, thought I was joking or just agreed with me because they bought a large portrait package. As soon as they left I did call my DM in case they called and complained.
LadyGlitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a coffee shop one time and I ordered a pumpkin spice latte and started laughing nervously.
The barista said โwhy are you laughing, is it because youโre basic?โ
technicolordreams ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Circuit City When things were starting to tank one of our saviors were the extra protection (go figure) and managers were pushing it HARD. My direct manager was teaching how to sell and the big thing for our customer support was that it was all based in America so when a customer was asking what, if any, advantages did City Advantage have I said
"All of our call centers are based in America, so you don't have to speak to anyone in India or another country."
She just gave me a "hmm" and thanked me for my time. Got called in 2 days later by the store manager and he asked me about it and I was pretty proud of following the script we were given and nodding my head like an idiot when he told me the woman's husband was Indian. I was pretty mortified but I let him know that's what we were asked to say verbatim and I'd need some real reasons as to why it was actually better than other services and he just kind of put his head down. Thinking back, that was the beginning of the end.
thotvermin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer phoned saying his fire extinguishers hadn't arrived. It was snowing badly. I told him I'd got them on my back and was on my way.
Customer phoned saying his extinguishers weren't there, told him I get in the bath with the toaster when things go wrong for me.
horbalorba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:30:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A guest sought me out to argue about one of our policies. He was 'fairly' calm but spoke in a way that he riled himself up, increasing in speed, volume and aggression. I had to repeatedly pull him back down to normal, which wasn't hard but it kept repeating. I think I dropped something in the conversation along the lines of 'common sense,' and we completely derailed from there.
smokesmagoats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:31:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an optician. A woman came in trying to get her teenaged sons glasses fixed. He had broken the arm off and it was a Ray-Ban that we can't just order. I let her know they're under warranty but I might not be able to get the same frame. She goes,"oh, he will be so upset if he doesn't get his frame."
So I replied, "well when he starts getting upset just remind him its his fault."
She stared at me like a shat on her son's glasses.
Alarinth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:35:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Many years ago. A customer had me look up his account in our database. His first name was "Finn", which in my language can be directly translated to "Find", as in "Find this guy". So he said "Finn <lastname>" - to which i replied with a stupid look "What if I can't find <lastname>?".
He was not amused.
NOMADofTIME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:42:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Years ago I was helping an older lady out to her car, she had some groceries and a few bags of dog food. Anyway she drove this boat of a car, a Crown Victoria. So she pops the trunk and the first thing out of my mouth is "Wow! You could fit like 12 bodies in this trunk!" Needless to say she looked mortified. So I pause for a moment and said "or a whole bunch of dog food!"
polymicroboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I start a lot of IVs in one day.10-15. 32 years of practice. Patient tells me, "YOU GET ONE CHANCE, THIS VEIN RIGHT HERE, DON'T THINK THERE IS ANY OTHER VEIN ANYWHERE, NOBODY CAN FIND MY VEINS, MY VEINS COLLAPSE!"
I asked, " Before I begin, can you imagine any other constraints you can place on how I practice my profession?"
she didn't like it.
ihaveanopiniondammit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:46:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a public library. We don't let people use our phones unless it's a medical emergency or a small child alone with no parents who needs a ride home. This has been our policy for YEARS.
Some guy calls me while I am at the desk and asks why we wouldn't let his wife use the phone for something when we let him use the phone all the time. He claims he has used our corded phone while also using the express computer that is about 30 feet away which is impossible because the cord won't stretch that far. I tell him as much but accidentally say it was 30 yards away instead of feet.
He immediately starts going off that I'm a liar, and he's a contractor and he knows it isn't that distance, and that I'm full of shit, and I'm an awful person and etc. etc. I had to just hang up on the guy.
B1GUGLIE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:52:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The customers were confused about the menu so I just told them, โWell I didnโt make the menu.โ That did not go over so well with my manager.
ladybug_1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:53:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It was not actually a customer but a patient. I was in my teens and I worked as an assistant at the doctor's office. So there was an old man who came regulary and he always brought me a few candies because I was nice to him (talkative, understanding,...). And I was really thankful because it was a nice gesture. So I wanted to be nice and said ''You always satisfy my...(Oh shit where is this going)...sweet needs''. I just stopped in the middle of the sentence when I realised what I am going to say but it was to late and I said it anyways. I just didn't express myself right (it sounds really naughty in my language but it's not any better in english). So I was a little bit embarassed and just hoped he wouldn't get it wrong :D
RoseaMarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
An older lady came to my checkstand and while she was paying for her groceries asked me to put her bags in her cart. I started moving them into the cart, and she started talking about how her knees had gotten bad and so she wasnโt able to lift her own groceries. She then said โwhen you get to my age, youโll have these issues tooโ I replied with something to the effect of โI hope soโ insinuating that I survive long enough to be as old as she was.
Final21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:55:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was working valet at a hotel. We had an event with sewing and shit and there were tons of old women there just sewing like crazy. Two older women (50-60ish) come up and I immediately pointed them to the ballroom with all of the sewing. The one was taken aback and said "we're here for drinks." I immediately apologized and said "Sorry I thought you were one of these older ladies." Oh man. I had to apologize again. The other lady thought it was kind of funny though.
VeryOddlySpecific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:59:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Me, to an angry customer: "Have a good day!"
Customer: "I'm in Walmart, I'm not going to have a good day..."
Me: "Well, then I hope you can leave soon and have a good day."
DiddyMao20XX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:07:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working helpdesk for an office. Remote user calls in with a phone that won't work. I start walking through basic troubleshooting steps.
Them: I don't have time to do this! Me: Okay, enjoy your broken phone.
I got a very sternly worded email from their manager and a finger wagging from my boss.
Keinichn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:17 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've learned to word things better but still get the point across. Years in customer service and all. Sometimes I'll even get some subtle snark in.
"If now's not a good time, we can schedule for another time but keep in mind your phone won't work until then."
DiddyMao20XX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Oh absolutely. 99% of the time I'm pretty chill with my clients. But something about the fact that she called me, and then complained about not having time to fix her issue just triggered my 1% asshole response.
tseralie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:11:07 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you have loyalty card?" "No ma'am I don't but I'm assuming you do and I can swipe them with your purchase for you?"
emu404 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:15:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a customer who had a faulty product and we sent him just the faulty part. I guess it took over a month and that was faulty as well so I said I could send him the whole item and he can just pick up whatever part he needed and we could do that in 2 days.
He asked me why we didn't just do that in the first place and he sounded reasonable and was just curious about why and I said because it's cheaper. The guy just threw a tantrum over the phone telling us he's going to turn up at our offices and smash the product up in front of us and demand a refund.
I learned to talk bullshit when asked a question from then on.
your_witch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to get super stoned before going to work at this local bakery. Some older guy walked in and asked "Are these baked fresh?" and I replied, "Yeah, I pulled them out of the freezer this morning"
Hutchsj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:55 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Its not really bad or anything, but it could have come across as being a bit of a b*itch. Anyways this was when I was working retail. It was closing and these customers came in with like less than 10 minutes to go. We had already started closing procedures aka closing two out of the three tills we have at the front, a clear sign we are closing but nope not to them. I inform them that we are closing in 10 and if they wish to make a purchase they will need to do it soon. Yeah they just wandered around and my manager just took the last tills cash and told me to kick them out...but nicely. So at that point I tell them we are closed, they say they are still looking and will be just a bit more, to which I say this "Sorry but you can't. The till is closed and so are we, I will put those items by the till so you can purchase them tomorrow. (I grad the two or so jeans they are holding and put them behind the till) And if you will follow me to the door it is time for you to leave." I gently had to guide them out the door because they were walking so slow. They never came back the next day to buy which wasn't at all surprising considering they didn't even look like they really planned to buy anything, just time wasting really. So glad to be out of retail.
Comma-Kazie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Call center, sales, customer service. I had been on the call with him for almost 40 minutes, and was 15 minutes overdue to go home, but the guy would NOT make up his mind about what he wanted to buy. Thinking the line was muted, I grumbled "This is such a waste of my time!"
The line was not muted.
gooeyguts21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:49:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was 18 at a golf course and I had a golf cart blocking one of two walkways when I was washing the golf balls. The man was elder around 65 years old and said "are you going to fucking move it?" I replied "no you can fucking walk around it."
I was young and dumb that didn't appreciate his attitude. I always felt that you should respect everyone, not just your elders, so it really rubbed me the wrong way when he talked ot me like that. I still feel this way, but obviously I wouldn't go about it like this.
Somehow I didn't get fired or even warned.
SuperPrimeVol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:54:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a customer on the phone and I said "Ok sir well let me get your"
Customer: "it's ma'am"
Me: "I'm so sorry"
Customer: "it's ok it happens all the time"
Wrush2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:59:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, can I help you?
Marksman_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:02:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work at a mobile phone provider and had a woman call up one day telling me she was trying to call out but it wouldnt connect. After going through the basic questions I asked her what happened when she tried to call whoever it was that she couldnt connect to and she told me it just rang and rang and rang...
after trying to explain to her for several minutes that if she could hear ringing; there was no problem with her service and that maybe they were just not answering she very sarcastically asked "Are you really trying to tell me that a multi million pound company just aren't answering there phones? Do you really think they would do that?" I finally snapped and said "Dunno. Why don't you ring them and ask?". Yeah... that did not go down well
Zorkman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:07:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working the grill at Burgerville, 19 years old. Wearing a headset with microphone so I can hear the orders that come through the drive-thru. There are two buttons on this headset, "T" and "P". One of them puts you through to the outside speaker, to talk to the customers, the other only talks to the people who are also wearing headsets. Grill workers never press those buttons - we don't talk to customers directly, leave it to the guys working drive-thru.
It's close to closing time, and I've already shut down some of the specialty stations to clean them, anticipating that it's unlikely someone will order those items. A woman comes through and orders something from each specialty stations, ensuring that I'll have to re-clean them all. Bad luck, really. Meanwhile, my co-worker on drive-thru has been using the "private" button to crack jokes all night while customers are ordering. So I decide to crack a joke of my own. Knowing my co-worker will get a kick out of it, I hit the button for private and say, "And by the way, I hate you for ordering so much food."
She says, "Oh, I'm sorry..."
lululopapa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:10:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When they asked me how's the weather and I said thank you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:20:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
cheetah_babycorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
lol
Lordwigglesthe1st ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:24:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in hospitality as a bartender and I had a couple in at the bar, another couple joins them so the husband asks me for (the paper with words on them - menus), I tell him I think I might have a couple and turn to the big pile of menus clearly visible behind me. As I'm turned away I hear the wife say 'ugh, he's one of those people' as turn back around I look her in the eye as I'm handing menus to her and tell her 'oh, I am very much one of those people'. Husband was super chill, but made it kinda weird with her. Iono, I was having an odd day. But don't come out with the sarcasm if you don't want sarcasm, that's like half my identity.
Lordwigglesthe1st ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:28:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Told a Mexican woman that one of our best drinks was with coconut and pina, turned around to enter some food (at the bar). Realized we actually were out of coconut and penis drinks, but the coconut and piรฑa is pretty good, so I recommended that. She thought it was funny tho, thank God.
fried_chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:33:27 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not quite a customer as I was working at a high-school as a tutor but I think this still fits.. I was driving a pretty crummy 2005 toyota echo with more rust than paint on it that was parked in the staff parking lot. Anyway, it's lunch hour and all the students are in the lot hanging out and this one girl that was always rude to all teachers and would always cause trouble came up to me when I was standing around my car and said "Oh now I know which car is yours, Friend_Chicken.. I'm gonna fuck it up if you ever get me in trouble again." At this point, her whole crew was with her and students were all around. I promptly replied, "If you fuck up my car, I'll fuck up your face...... more than it already is"
The crowd erupted. I knew I messed up as soon as I said it but it was too late. Everyone was jumping and hooting and I couldn't take anything back (not that I would have anyway). I was sure I would be fired the following Monday but to my surprise, nothing came of it ! Though, it seems I had found the respect of many students after that so I guess it's not all bad.
paul-cus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:52 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Every time I say โIโll see you laterโ to a blind person.
frazenn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but I've heard a recording where, the lady was talking to this irrate person, though obviously the person is just mad at the company and he ends up swearing "fck the company", the representative replied "fck you too", and once she realizes her fault she started crying to the more angry customer. Thinking maybe she'll get fired LOL
CaffeineSexAddict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:45:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Working with a morbidly obese patient in a hospital, I was assisting them to the restroom. When they suddenly stop at the door.
The patient mumbles from what I heard was โI wonโt fit โ
โ well if you canโt fit , thereโs a more spacious restroom down the hall.โ
They slowly turn their head towards me and clearly state โI said.... thereโs piss on the seatโ
OOOHHHHHHH
maerad96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Guy asked for extra broccoli and cheese and when his food came out with two portions he got mad saying he just wanted a couple more pieces. I dead ass looked at him and said "what did you mean by extra?" I was honestly so confused and done at the time as it was closing time.
Princess_Goose3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Kinda related but I called someone today and they asked how I was, I said "Good, how are you?" and then continued to talk without allowing them to respond, not realizing what I said.
Still cringing about it.
A_Rod84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me but a friend. We worked in a cinema (fairly rural UK. Not many different ethnicities) and a black guy came and asked for a hot dog, they weren't ready but he said he'd bring it in for him when it was done and asked to see his ticket for seat number. Guy said "I'm the only black guy in there so you should find me easily". Friend replied: "Surely that'll make it harder to find you?". The look of panic on his face afterwards was priceless.
melissapete24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:36 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live, we have the main headquarters of Empire Kosher, which is the country's largest producer of Kosher poultry. We all just call it the chicken plant; it doesn't have a name for us locals. lol
Anyway, although most of them actually live in New York, we have a large population of Orthodox Rabbis who are in our area more than they are at home. When I still worked for a local grocery store (one of a smaller grocery store chain) that was very, very near to the chicken plant (less than a mile away), we would ALWAYS have Rabbis in.
One day it was winter time, a little less than a month away from Christmas. Being very small-town, nearly everyone in the area celebrates Christmas, so all day I was giving my customers a "Merry Christmas" as they left my lane. One of the Rabbis comes through my lane, is very polite to me, I am very polite to him, and, as he picks up his bags to leave, I say, out of habit, "Merry Christmas!" The look he gave me was one of anger for just a moment, followed almost immediately by discomfort, because I immediately stuttered out, "I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking!" I think he ended up just feeling bad for me then, and he just gave me an uncomfortable smile and said, "It's ok," and left a little more hurriedly than he came. I felt dumb at the time, but now I just laugh when I remember it.
TL; DR: Rabbis don't appreciate being wished a Merry Christmas.
LordHenry7898 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A customer once threatened to call the Better Business Bureau after I mentioned that maybe we weren't doing the discount he wanted, and that was why it wasn't showing up on the register.
I responded with "well, I'm only here once a week."
That just made him angrier.
JaloopyMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:50 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a host in a restaurant. On a rather busy Wednesday, we had a very large party of 16 come in(that's more than we can fit in the family room) The "gentlemen" asks how long for that many so I explain that I can't give a totally accurate guess, since I don't know when we'd have enough tables free to push together. I say it's probably going to be 20-25 minutes, but that's not a definite. Anyway, for whatever reason, people weren't leaving from the tables we needed and I could tell that the man was becoming impatient.
35 minutes had gone by, ten minutes longer than quoted and we are finally ready. I offer to take them back and he says "It took you long enough." Before I could hold my tongue, I replied "Perhaps you should consider something called a reservation, next time you bring your family tree to eat."
Needless to say, he was unhappy about that remark and my manager was informed of my behavior. Later, my manager pulled me aside and told me "Nice one, but don't do that again."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Did this today. I work in a call center for tv/phone/broadband and had a customer who owed money for a cancelled broadband package from 3years ago. He had been sent to a debt collector.
During our argument we had -
Customer โ I complained to your directors last week and this was sortedโ Me: โnobody was in your account for the last 14months. It logs everybodyโs ID number. What was your complaint reference for that......โ
And
Me: we sent you multiple letters to inform you Customer โ where did you send them?โ Me โerr.....the address we installed your internet too......โ
He didnโt like that but I wasnโt lying.
LooseJuice_RD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:41 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a personal trainer at a gym and everyone who walks through the doors thinks there's a shortcut to getting yourself in shape. I can't count the number of times I've heard: "I'm going on vacation next week and I want to get toned... you know, not big, just toned..." Generally speaking, I'm not as blunt as I can be when clients say stuff like this. I wasn't an athlete my whole life and I understand how hard it is to get into a routine but I'm not a magician; there are no shortcuts. So this one woman who always rubbed me the wrong way (she was always trying to tell me about how she read some new article about losing weight quickly off your thighs or abs or some other fitness related nonsense) because of her general laziness and sense of entitlement came up to me one day and asked: "How long do you think it'll take me to lose all this weight?" In my head I thought: "Well how long did it take you to put it all on?" Except the thought didn't stay in my head. I actually said that out loud to the woman. Needless to say, I felt like a piece of trash for saying that.
Apollo3_III ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:09 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I used to be a bank teller in a rich neighborhood and one of the rich Assholes comes over to my window with a $5,000 tax return check. (Mind you. ANY bank employee who does a non-policy followed loss $1,000+, meaning you went against the rules for a customer, is immediately terminated.) This guy throws this check at me and says cash it. Of course I asked him for two forms of ID because no way youโre getting 5Gs out of my drawer without me knowing who you are(even though I did).
He hits me with this: โIf you continue with this bar customer service. Youโll be hearing from my lawyer.โ
Me: โYeah. Should we call him right now?โ
He stalked off over to my manager to complain. Manager wasnโt happy.
GabenAtWork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:59 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at an auto parts store known for getting in the area. One night i was helping this Nice Woman ($NW) and her Daughter ($D). Other stars of this tale are $CW1 and $CW2.
Anyways so $NW comes in and waits in line while i finish up another customer. $D walks off to go browse an aisle while she waits. I finish with my customer and $NW comes up to me and starts to tell me what she needs for a brake job for her car. $CW1, noticing $D in an aisle just looking, walks up to see if she needs help finding anything. $CW2 finishes up and stands to the side watching me. After hearing $CW1 ask $D if she needed help, $NW then remarks "Why do people always ask her if she needs help? No one ever asks me."
Now here is where I made my mistake. In my friend group I'm know to quite often fire off a witty remark without always thinking it through.
$Me: "Well I guess it's because people have just given up on you."
...
$CW1, $CW2, and $D lose it.
$NW looks very shocked and just says "Wow! I... That was so fast!"
I then realized what I had said and became mortified.
Thankfully she took it well and was just shocked I had said it. I still gave her 10% off of everything because I felt bad. $CW1 still teases me to this day.
Oh and I guess an epilogue - $NW and $D came back into the store a couple months later. $CW1 helped them at the time and remembered who they were. So being the cheeky bugger he is, while checking them out he calls out "Hey $Me! Does she look familiar?"
$NW remembered me but just laughed and said I had made her day that night.
breakfastcrumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:44 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A woman with a baby in a stroller came into the store I had worked at in high school and came directly over to me (at a hanging rack, so kind of weird) and asked if a guy of such-and-such description had come in and hit on me or asked me to have lunch. I said "yeah that dude is a creep, he comes in every shift I work and talks to me for like an hour and follows me out to my car." The guy was her cheating husband.
Shizuzeru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:45 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Nothing serious. I was new working in a food store (Coop Konsum) and one lady had bought one avocado for her ladies night. It wasnt good apperantly so she was asking for compensation, i then said i can give you a new one. But she said that it was to late now... But she COULD take something else.
I was only a new worker and has only worked 1 week, so i told her that!
She started to push even more now, she wanted anything! Mind you one avocado cost like 84 cent (0,7 euro) So i told her, go to the register and they will help you. I ran away after. She got her money back...
somecatgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:51 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was commenting on how different people look from their license photo and was saying how some men are baby faced in their IDs but have beards now and said the phrase, "oh, you're a man now" about beards vs baby faces as soon as another coworker came into the room and made fun of me. I didn't realize it could have been awkward until that moment
justleah14_08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Answering the phone and saying "hello" instead of saying "Bargain Books Factory shop, how may I help you"
Gklmitchel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked in the gambling shop (bookies) in England for 10 years.. Customer service literally goes out the window. Had people telling me they're going to rape my mother, a guy spat in my face (some of which entered my mouth), a guy kicked me, a guy drew a love heart on the toilet wall with the shit that he'd done on a plastic bag then proceeded to whipe every surface with the shit, a guy pissed on the gaming machine so we threw him out and he went mental, had to phone the police probably about 200 times in my 10 years due to death threats/abusive behaviour.. But I still had to be polite to them
Skiesofamethyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was a hostess at Applebeeโs and it would piss me off everytime someone insisted on a booth, because we tried to make it so the servers werenโt overwhelmed, and only one or two servers had available booths so we would always swamp them and get shit for it. Iโm a hypocrite because I always ask for a booth, but at least I say โif thereโs one availableโ. One time three people came in asking for a booth in one servers area, and by the last group I actually had started walking them to a table when they spotted a booth and insisted on THAT ONE and I just looked at them and said, โwhy?โ
I sat them in the booth of course but my manager came up to me later and was like... โwe donโt just ask customers WHY!โ
Also at another job we were two minutes before close and I basically had the whole lobby and back area clean, this family comes in with like seven people and a kid (we closed in like two minutes), I got them their food and kindly asked them to not make a mess because we were closing when I saw them making a mess. (Again, bad judgement. I fucking hated food service.) they of course left a huge mess and filed a corporate complaint and my boss had to talk to me about it.
Now Iโm working in healthcare and I havenโt had to deal with people being stupid/wanting stupid things because usually these people are only in wanting things to help them be comfortable (having to use the bathroom, wanting a pillow or some Tylenol)
RomanSteel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:19 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Older Asian woman came in, I get a myriad of different peoples in, and lots of Asiatics. We talk often, she tells me of a store and the good deals there, I speak up about the little Asian store 10 miles down the road. She says "---? Oh we dont'a go there, they Laotian" I didn't actually say a thing after, but my expression must have said "OMG I don't know, how am I to know" She waves a hand "It'sa Okaya, we all look alike".
I about died laughing.
DoomieGrunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Rather than try to explain the scenario, I will let my video speak for itself.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSH2h9_6PvE
After this, the PASSENGER got out and demanded the manager. So together, me & the manager listen to her shout and then point in my face: "HE NEEDS DRIVER TRAINING. I HAVE TWO KIDS IN THE BACK OF MY CAR AND HE'S THREATENING MY LIFE BY HONKING AT US AND TAILGATING US THROUGH THE PARKING LOT!" Now, anyone else would've apologized and kissed this customer's ass to a bad review anyway, but as someone who tries to promote safe driving, I was not about to have it. I pointed back and said "You need to learn what a green light is!" Long story short, she ranted a full minute on how she would take the incident to corporate and ruin my life. So far, my first customer complaint.
Corporate can fire me if they must. I am not about to kiss customer ass because they can't accept the fact that they are a poor driver. In fact, I felt I should've pointed out that she was meandering through the parking lot like a drunk.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was ringing up a box of pastries at a pastry cafe, and jokingly told the customer that the cafe was perfect for getting diabetes. She looked dispirited and left.
NoPantsWonderDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a specialized department for a cell phone company. We dealt exclusively with transferring people's phone numbers to and from other carriers. Some landline companies make things exceptionally difficult... so much so that our dept. Was split into groups who were trained exclusively on how to deal with certain carriers. I had a call from a lady who needed help porting her number from Cox Communications. Before transferring to an agent who had training with this carrier I told her "I just need a moment to transfer you directly to an expert in dealing with Cox". ....
Poocifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:16 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a โshouldnโt have said thatโ but more a shouldnโt have done that. Years back I was helping a lady load items into the back of her van. She was inside and I was passing things to her. As she turned towards me I had a straight shot down her shirt. No bra and some of the perkiest boobies Iโve ever seen on an older lady. She noticed that I noticed, gave me a wry smile and just kept going. Eye contact after that was really difficult considering she pretty much gave me a pass to peak each time she spun around.
carolinemathildes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:30 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Called her a witch.
Got fired for it.
Should not have said that.
GetCrunkM8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:23 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Strangely enough, this one didnt happen to me but I could feel the "oh shit". I live on a military base and have longer hair then the average guy around this area. As we pull up, the officer checking our ids said "Hello ladies." and my mom chuckled a bit as this wasn't the first time. He seemed a bit bewildered by it, but just quickly finished checking our ids and handed them back. It wasn't until we were driving away and my mom burst out laughing that we heard him yell "SORRY" in an embaressed tone. Im okay with it, but I could feel the embaresment in his voice.
NovaVapes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Made a few oopsies, my favourite has got be reading a customer completely wrong after a bit of a back and forth about their favourite product being out of stock and they son tho they could cope without it.
Naturally I jokingly send a link to the Samaritans saying these guys could help.
That backfired quite a bit.
abbiyah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:31 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Accidentally called a female customer "sir"
spiderlanewales ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This was my mistake. Someone who stalked our store's website and mailers came in asking for something that wasn't on the shelves yet because understaffed with way too large of shipments for our location because our RM set goals for us that even the biggest stores couldn't reach THANKS KATHY LET ME JUST FIND 60 CUSTOMERS WHO CAN AFFORD $1000 SHEET SETS.
Sorry about that. I don't work there anymore.
Anyway, this person asked for x thing, and my big, dumb gob uttered, "oh, sorry, we haven't unpacked those yet."
She stared at me expectingly. I had utterly fucked myself with a brick stick.
Intercom: Cindy to the register please.
My elderly, bitter co-worker was not pleased to be called up. I then explained that I had to go to the stock room and open boxes until I found a specific type of queen-sized pillows. I probably still have facial scars from the daggers she stared at me.
It took me 30 minutes of quickly opening boxes and throwing packing materials all over the place so it looked like Alice in Retail Wonderland, I found these $60 a piece pillows that I assume were stuffed with Santa's actual beard trimmings or whatever, and brought them out.
Customer didn't like them, they looked better in the advert. She left empty-handed.
I worked there two more years.
Guttermindedbabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:22 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was conversing with some regulars I had, I am the bartender and have known these fellows for many years. Anyhow they are discussing lunch and the server there and one of the guys says "You just like to look at this person whom I'll not names tits" so then I blurt out oh so you've got a thing for a cups huh. Immediately wished to pull those words back but too late
whoviangirl10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:03 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
It wasnโt something mean or anything but it could have gotten me in trouble. I used to work at hellmart, an old lady came up to me asking where she could find some nice art something or another. Without much thought I just replied hobby lobby and gave her directions. Glad a manager didnโt catch that one
changerfett ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:04 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was talking to a customer about shows I watched when I was a kid. I used the term older people because I was talking about a show on PBS called Sesame Street. I use the term because I thought it had stopped airing. I regret saying that every day because she looked and sounded offended.
Edit: i am only 20
thatstoomuchman_035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:26 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Duuude. So I worked at a sandwich shop for a bit and my manager/shift leader when to the bank so it was me and another employee. We have several sizes of sandwiches and we have a large size. A lot of people like to share the large between two people and sometimes want one thing on one half and not the other which is fine; but this guy comes up and says it needs to be this way or my wife will be upset. I tell him we can do that. It was kindof complicated but I told the other employee to make it and leave off exactly what he said.
A little bit later the guy comes up and says it's not right and we make him a new Large sandwich, EXACTLY how he said it again. a few minutes later he comes up again and tell him, we made it exactly like what he said. He walks away annoyed. Then his wife comes up to me, and the first thing she says is "what's wrong with you?" right off the bat I was like ok this bitch is really rude, like who just walks up and says that to a human being? So I calmly told her that we made it like her husband said. She told me how she wanted it (which part was right but her husband told us the opposite of what she said, so that was the issue). So she's upset and frustrated yelling at me asking why we can't make the sandwich and I I just yelled back "well no customer has ever been this complicated, we usually just ask them to fill out a separate bag if it's going to be individualized. She gets really mad and says "what's your name?" i stared at her and didn't tell her. She got mad at that and says where's your manager?" I tell her he isn't there cause he legit wasn't. The manager is a really chill guy anyways. She asked my managers name and I only told her his first name. After that she left in a huff and of course wrote a complaint email but both my manager and general owner agreed that she was ridiculous. In the email she complained about way more than just me and completely over exaggerated everything. She also told me that her and her husband owned restaurants. They did not look at all like people that owned restaurants and all I could think was "if you actually work in food service you wouldn't be such a cunt." my co-worker later laughed so hard at the exchange cause he thought she was a bitch too but just stayed silent. I don't feel bad about saying "no one is this complicated, because it was a super chill sandwich shop that got busy but was easy as far as what people wanted. The woman refused to admit that her husband explained everything wrong.
12h_bottletothrottle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:15 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I was chatting with a customer about video stuff. He says the quality is low, and asks me if I can do anything to improve the quality on his end. I say "does that make a difference?" After making a small change. Of course it's subtle enough he doesn't realise I did anything.
Some people interpret it as me being condescending, questioning his need for better quality. Sure enough, some other people get upset too.
SurelyYouKnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:29 on March 29, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Where do calories come from?
AutomaticHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:35 on March 30, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When covering the register at "PetCOmpany":
Woman: What's this?
Me: A bully stick. Dogs love them.
Her: What are they made of?
Me: Cow penis.
Only then do I look up and see she's wearing orange robes... I've never seen anyone's pleasant smile fall that quickly.
Fancher777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:05 on April 16, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at Home Depot and was standing infront of the concrete when he pointed at two different pallets (80 lb bags and 60 lb bags) and asked me what the difference was. โBout 20 lbs.โ was not the answer he was looking for
noblelie17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:22:47 on May 11, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Had a customer who wanted free service, got denied (I don't play that shit), acted like a child (she was 40-50 years old), threatened to rant on social media about us to her 1300 friends (we do more customers than that on a bad week).
My response: Nobody gives a fuck about your social media
RayningSeason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:04 on June 20, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When a regular (that has been building up my anger every single time he comes in) rudely answered "Liquid" after I asked him what he'd like to drink.... I offered Toilet water. Though, also sarcastically. Tried to brush it off as a joke and I'm glad it didn't work. I've been a waitress for a few years. Never had a complaint that involved my attitude before him. I don't need customers like that. I know it was very unprofessional but I'm not sorry.
There's a very fine line between a funny smartass and a disrespectful one. He was obviously the latter
CacaphonyMollusk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Back in the day, working at a Burger King. Hopped in on an argument between a customer and a manager I was hoping to shag. Customer said "I know the owner, and I will call him". I said, "Bitch, I don't care if you know Mickey Mouse; you're gonna have to leave." She did know the owner, and told him. I was fired (finally, was wondering what it would take) Three days later BK calls begging for me to return! I was like, I love you but I ain't coming back. One of the most surreal, ridiculous jobs I ever had.
Alejandro4891 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
i get straight to the point and that's not always a good thing when it comes to customer service. the one time i was reported to a manager was when i didn't pussyfoot around our products being sold out. it didn't help that i was dealing with a customer that was well known to be a bitch. she asked me why X product wasn't on sale and i simply said "because it's sold out". lady didn't like what i said so she reported me to one of my managers because she felt i was rude.
1standten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:57 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not me, but my best friend (In our first interaction 13ish years ago) as he was bagging while I was ringing. This lady had a pack of like weight watchers bagels, that was supposed to have six. She says this to my friend who replies "Maybe that's their point, only eat 5 instead of 6"
S-Elena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:43:13 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked as a service technician for a retail company (not best buy). Let me follow that with the layout. When customers needed to speak to us about problems with their computer, they brought it up to a counter thatโs shaped like an โLโ. This is our first line of defense, because they talk to knowledge experts who determine whether or not the machine gets checked in so a technician can work on it. From the counter is a door that leads to the technicians area and I was the unlucky bastard who got to sit front and center where that door was. In other words I was the first one they would see beyond that door. Usually it wasnโt bad because I just did my job and clocked out whence that time came. I remember a man being really mad about something or other and I also remember it was some ridiculous remark. Mind you this was a few years back so I donโt remember the details. I swear I wasnโt looking in his direction or gave any signs that I noticed him saying anything crazy but as he said those words a small chuckle barely audible by anyone other than him left my mouth. I want to stress that I was looking straight into another clients computer so it could have been something there but he decides that I was laughing at him. He was right, but how do you pinpoint a laugh thatโs meant for you in a loud retail store. In hindsight it was funny even after I got reprimanded for laughing but thatโs as close a moment as I can recall.
ThisisNOTAbugslife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well there was this one time I told this feller how to get past Fluffy. Just play him a bit of music and he goes right to sleep!
SoHelpMeGodd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:24 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a Goodwill. This one guy, probably in his 50s, cuts the whole line and tries to checkout. I politely point him to the line and he nods and walks off. I notice he goes to sit on one of our couches for sale. I didn't think much of it and continued ringing people up. About 15 minutes later, he cuts the whole line again and tries to check out. I tell him that you have to wait in line and again pointed to the line. He responds by saying he did. I tell him that I saw him sitting on the couch. This is when he loses it. He tells me he is way too old to stand in line and has severe back problems. I told him I can't change the rules or make exceptions, but I am sorry for the inconvenience . He then accuses me that I am only allowing women to check out in my line. He then raises his voice, yelling that he will sue me and will see me in court. I couldn't help it and I ended up laughing straight in his face at this absurd comment which only made him angrier. He started making an even bigger scene and some other customers began to yell at him to defend me. My manager heard the commotion and signaled for me to just let him through so he would leave. He gave the people he cut in line a discount or coupon or something.
rahul281989 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:43:22 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Once my client asked me to reduce descrease the management fees from 15 to 8% which couldn't be happened. I moved from there without saying any word. So that was the moment when I was thinking it.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:04 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
kevinberg ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 06:50:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Ableist slur.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not exactly a customer, but a group of 3 students at a private school I worked at.
They'd been digging around, playing detective, looking into things that the headmaster deemed to be confidential.
Anyway, while I'm trying to tell them to mind their own business and focus on school, I let slip a small detail that helped them find a way into a huge maze of traps set up by the teachers to protect some stone, one of them gets knocked out, and another ends up fighting the dark Lord and killing a teacher in the process.
I shouldn't have said that.
Can't believe I didn't get fired for that little slip-up.
smxgkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:49:48 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When working in sales, a customer was being unbearably indecisive and I hated my job so I lost it and said โit doesnโt matter which one you get, youโre getting ripped off with this place anywayโ
The next day I was fired for my sassy mouth
never___nude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:31 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When are you due? She wasnโt.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:32 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
This.... I took the depo birth control shot so I made me look bloated. It really did hurt when people would ask.
notgayinathreeway ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:00:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a customer but another employee.
An old lady came to me asking if we had any weiners, and I started to tell her where the hot dogs are and she said no, a "weiner in a jar" which is like a jar of pickled hot dogs and I knew we had them but I couldn't find them and this poor elderly lady was hobbling along trying to follow me back and forth down the store and I just could not find it, so I tried finding another employee to help, but the place was just deserted, until finally I find someone.
This very quiet chick that works the snack section happened to be working the last aisle I thought to try looking down, and she also happened to be m2f transgendered. But I knew if it existed, it would be in her aisle...
So I opened my big stupid mouth and said "hey, do you have a weiner in a jar?" And the look I got from her just murdered me right then and there.
"... Y'know, like, those pickled hot dog things..." was all I could manage to say to my shoes as the old lady finally caught up to me and the poor girl realized I was helping a customer.
[deleted] ยท -10 points ยท Posted at 20:47:06 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
Captain_Hampockets ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:19:27 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Well then "Yes sir" was 100% correct.
cpsbooks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:51 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I've done that a bunch, also called a lot of short haired women "sir." I'm a space cadet. It seems like a lot of trans folks are understanding when someone innocently slips up.
Notethreader ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:37 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, we're usually pretty understanding. But it definitely can be a huge blow to the self esteem.
linderlady ยท -11 points ยท Posted at 01:16:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a restaurant, whenever people ask me stupid questions, I give them stupid answers. Ex: Customer- how long will the wait be Friday night at 6 pm? Me- let me look in my crystal ball, so I can predict the future. Nope, it's not working. I can't see into the future sir. Sorry.
_khanrad ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:16 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer said her daughter had just hung herself. I told her to hang in there...
Jam_and_Cabbage ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:32:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
No, you didn't.
_khanrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
hold me
wEiRdO86 ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I was about 22 or so and working at the Home Depot. I said, within earshot, asked if another employee could help the little old lady who needed additional assistance. They took that pretty hard, and I took on unemployment thereafter.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:33:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Stuntedatpuberty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:15 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. The more I read stories about worms in fish, I'm about done with fish. Fuck that.
aplumpchicken ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:02:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a restaraunt. Weโre supposed to repeat the order back to the customer to make sure we donโt mess it up. A guy ordered a water and a Coors light, and I repeated the order as โTwo waters. You got it.โ
nyanlol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:03:39 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
So I'm working the counter at the deli, back turned. Old lady and her husband come up.
Old lady: "Hello?"
Me, sick of being interrupted, tired and snarky, turning and saying "Goodbye?"
Lady, coping an attitude: "excuse me, but that was very unprofessional"
Her husband on the other hand is cracking up. That's the ONLY reason i didn't get in trouble.
The other one when i told a guy in response to "do you cut meat here": "that is generally what we do in a deli, yes"
Working food service gives you a /severe/ allergy to stupid questions
LemieuxTurtled ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:11:47 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Casino dealer here. Noticeably heavyset Lady was being a total bitch to me and other players for the better part of an hour on a blackjack game. Her husband comes up and says โhey come with me, I just got comped a couple buffetsโ. She replies with โwe can go later, Iโm not hungry. Me of course, without hesitation โI really doubt that.โ She was pissed, I denied it entirely when confronted by my boss. Totally worth the written warning, but I definitely had a shouldnโt have said that moment as soon as the words escaped my mouth.
kylexxyy ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:35:11 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
LOL, I love the projection at the end. That's all great for you, and nowhere did I mention you were unhappy, I enjoy my job as well but I love vacations also.. Didn't realize they were mutually exclusive. Again sounding like projection as you keep saying on every response post disagreeing with you which makes it sound like you are even further, but I digress. That's all well and good, my point is that I'll be doing the same as well as vacation whilst retiring on what is likely a better income if you work in customer service as you say(but now say business owner and never mentioned before, but again I digress), so that's why it's poor logic as well as just not necessary. I mean really, good for you about the work ethic, but as I said it doesn't make me an asshole for achieving the same results or better in a shorter time period whilst also having free time and the expendable income for vacation without it affecting my retirement in any noticeable way whatsoever. So again, you don't need to get personal or try to be insulting when you don't have any substantive reply as you have also been doing on nearly everyone that disagrees with you LOL. That totally doesn't make it look like you're getting super salty or its some kind of way you argue to attempt to diminish people when you don't have a substantive response to what I actually said about investing wisely and getting a better education.. Anyways, like I said, I just think your investment strategy is poor based on what you've said and aside from that it doesn't make someone an lazy or asshole for having a better investment plan or just not wanting to retire at 40 vs saving 1K$ more a year or etc. I mean if I can have invest intelligently and then retire 5 years sooner than you anyways, then did your one week a year matter any significant amount? No. And that's why working 1-2% more a year over investing income intelligently to retire much much earlier than simply saving or a 401K is not stupid, nor does it make me lazy, it's just smarter to do. So that's all good for you man, happy that you have a good work ethic and enjoy it, but it doesn't make me an asshole for doing it in a way that I retire the same or earlier than you whilst also being able to go on vacation a few times a year.
btcftw1 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:22:20 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm working in a library, and a couple (they're like 50 years old) comes in. You know the type, they're teasing each other. He says something to me like "Well, we're only here for her, 'cause I can't even read!" with a big grin.
lympicita ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 08:59:08 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a lady who was always saying silly things by accident. When she with me if we had some meds for a customer, she went back to the customer and said "I'm a bit sorry but we don't have those in." Both of them stalled for a minute while that sunk in.
duxego ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 09:53:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
The moment a customer who has cancer made a complaint and pulled the โIโm dyingโ card. I said โyep we all areโ. The customer then said โbut I donโt know how long Iโve got to liveโ I said โneither does any of usโ. I shouldnโt have said it but fuck em. Pull that shit on someone who gives a fuck, just because youโre dying doesnโt give you a right to complain about insignificant shit, like out of everyone fucking alive theyโd be the last ones to waste time over a stupid insignificant fucking petty complaint! Iโm going hell I know, I know...
randomnarwal ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:04:00 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Not a worker but to a friend. One said "Wow OP you could be a girl" So I pretended to stare down my shoirt and check for boobs. Then said "I guess, but id be like F" F was there in the room talking with us. Immediate regret.
TeamVegas780 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 13:37:33 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
While I was working as a faculty member at a school for witches and wizards called โHogwartsโ I, on several occasions, divulged secrets about a magical stone hidden within the castle to three first year students.
nmoney000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 14:11:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
TLDR: told an obese family that they shouldn't buy drinks and should start dieting.
Working register at my pizza job, a fa family of large people come in. The kids were obese, the parents were obese, it was bad. They ordered pizzas using a coupon and a fountain drink for everyone. Then they asked why it was so much more than the coupons. I said that it was the 5 drinks at $2 each, and then instead of shutting up I said, "you could save $10 and get a start on a much needed diet for your family."
And that's why I didn't work the register anymore. And probably also my hatred of phone calls.
unfeelingzeal ยท -16 points ยท Posted at 21:55:18 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
never had a job where i needed to deal directly with a customer but i'm here to offer my irrelevant personal observation anyway.
isyasad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:57:23 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
That's nice, what is it?
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:00 on March 27, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
catticusbutticus ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:48:46 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Picturing it might be easier if I had a clue what any of that meant
Karenswalk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:31:38 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad I wasn't the only not able to decipher it!
RyghtHandMan ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:39:01 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
got stung by a bee and said FUCK
Atlas_Black ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:30 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
A regular customer came into the restaurant and ordered something to-go, and after a short conversation about the state of the economy told me โI hate capitalism.โ
And I said โI doubt that. You willingly come here every week with your iPhone and a coffee from Dunkinโ Donuts, willingly order food you love with money you willingly work for, and drive off in your car which you willingly purchased. I think you love it but donโt understand it. Willingly.โ
PEA_0126 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:26 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
I worked at a bank as a teller. One day a young man in his early twenties comes to my window and doesnโt have his form filled out. Since he was about my age, I thought I could joke around with him and so I said โWhy didnโt you fill out your form? Are you dyslexic or something?โ At first he laughed with me and smiled and I filled out his form and he went about his day. Or at least I thought. Turns out he went home and cried to his mom and she called the bank, talked to my manager and well I got in DEEP trouble. Letโs just say I never cracked jokes again with my customers.
kylexxyy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, so the investments my wife and I are making in rentals properties (her parents have a few arms are retiring in early 50's in a few years) and stocks as well as her 401K are not investments?.. Certainly ones that pay much more on investment than saving a few days of work a year. Far more to be certain. I mean not to be rude or a dick, but working in customer service does not sound like a position that requires higher education so if you cannot afford to take a vacation and if the difference of 5-10 days of vacation and maybe 1500$ once every year or so makes any real difference whatsoever in the long to your savings for retirement, then you really need to rethink your idea of investing your time/money to retire earlier, look into some investments that pay dividends and/or go back to school to find a job that allows you to both save as well as take a vacation. Even if taking a week off work a year did allow you to retire any significant amount earlier just by saving or 401K alone, it would still be a really bad ROI for not going on vacation for 30+ years, not to mention that with education and smarter investing we'll more than likely be retired before you on a better income whilst working the same or less hours, and I work for myself. I mean I know not everyone can own their own business or be freelance, but advising people to not take a week off as an investment strategy to retire earlier is just not a logical thing to do, and criticizing people for not doing that is rude and idiotic. Again, I think you made some very poor choices and/or did not research your investment strategies if you think that's a smart way to invest, and it sounds like you've done I specialized jobs for a number of years rather than go back to school or start a business or etc, so that's your choice to do, no one is lazy or an asshole for not wanting to work in jobs where it's impossible to go on vacation due to finances or hours or etc, or for not using your same investment strategy of working one more week a year rather than investing income in something with better ROI. Id rather invest intelligently and be frugal shopping and work for myself so I can retire early with a good income as well as not just work my life away for 30 years. Again, that's up to you to do and I do think a good work ethic is important, but it doesn't make me or anyone else an asshole for doing it a smarter way to allow for vacations and time off, or just not wanting to retire early... But either way, that's some really poor logic and I think you should go do some research on investments if you think working about 1.75% more hours very year is better than legitimate investment and/or education to get a better paying job, LOL
womper9000 ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 03:42:49 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at subway... some guy wanted bread... guy made those thinking sounds out loud... hmm ch ch ch... I said we don't have ch ch ch here... guy gets mad and smashes all the chip bags and says he wants 20 pickles INSIDE the bread I told him that we have a 15 pickle limt but if you wanna put one more it'll cost 1.50 and since he was getting a cookie anyway it would have been .75 for the cost of the sandwcih HE TOLD ME, he wanna buy the pickles instaed of the cookies. HE THREW CHIPS ONTO THE BREAD!!!!
wheresthemuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:56 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
Customer resigned
youfailedthiscity ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 01:58:18 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
When I told Harry, Ron, and Hermione about Fluffy guarding the Philosopher's stone for Professor Dumbledore...
jrad18 ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 04:17:28 on March 28, 2018 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy stared at me and gave a chuckle after a gluten intolerant customer ate pasta and started abusing him
That didn't end well for anyone, especially not her butthole