A porn actress is a woman and sson is a last name followed by the fathers name. Therefore the fathers first name would have to be porn actress which seems pretty unlikely...
neo4reo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The father was a transgender porn actress. Who had transitioned to male but kept the title as a first name since as a 'she' he had been famous ;) ..muahaha..I really thought this through :D
.i.e Klรกm leikkona Albรญna or in English "Porn Actress Albina". You say the whole thing like "A Pimp named Slickback" or "A tribe named Quest".
[deleted] ยท 274 points ยท Posted at 03:01:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing in Armenian: Kahvejian. Means "coffee merchant" or just "coffee professional" of any sort. Here's a guy with that name. His name in English would be "George Barista" :)
Nah, most of them just leave the industry within 12 months because life sucks if you work offshore, and it's incredibly difficult to get your foot in the door with a union doing inland/coastal work. And even when you get in with the union it's incredibly difficult to find steady work.
Source: Graduated from commercial diving school in July 2015. Went back to school to get a degree in business administration in fall 2016. Of my graduating class of 25, 2 are actively employed as commercial divers and 2 or 3 pick up jobs intermittently between more steady work as welders or equipment operators
The power plants around here are pretty good jobs. If you're a good hand, you can find a permanent spot on a base crew and get crazy overtime when it comes around.
The way most people get in are showing up for outages and the better hands can stay on full time if they want.
A lot of guys like hop around and work 6 months/yr though.
Or, you can look into their maintenance jobs, put in for one, pass your tests, and be able to pass a pretty rough interview. But, those jobs really want some good experience.. Like 10,000 hours in a power plant
I got on with the Pile Drivers union in Boston after kicking around the gulf and lower east coast for a few months. But after 6 months of driving to job sites to talk to foremen all over New England I moved to Milwaukee and joined the union there. After 8 months of trying to land something I decided to go back to school.
Those dive schools pump out a new graduating class every week or two, the market is so saturated with new guys looking for work right now.
Guess I made the right choice to go with the pipeliners union. It's feast or famine too but I've got a decent enough name here I don't know if I would ever change.
The pay can be good. But if you work in the gulf you have to put in your time as a tender, and I have buddies doing that right now for just north of $12/hr. Divers in the gulf aren't getting paid to well either unless they're doing saturation diving.
When I was in Boston in the union divers got $68/hr and tenders were pulling $42. When I went to the union in Milwaukee everybody on the dive station made $54/he. But starting out in the union everyrhing is feast or famine until you develop a reputation and can land consistent full time work.
Underwater Welding is only dangerous if you, or the people on your dive station don't have proper training. It's a job with risks. But with attention to detail and proper training you can mitigate those risks.
That being said, I got shocked pretty good doing underwater burning in dive school. The student running my dive station left the electricity on between divers, and while I was setting up my equipment i turned my back to the ground (because the electricity was off, as far as I knew). I had a pretty good sized bruise going up my arm and onto my chest from that.
Edit: I can't give you a good 1-10 rating. Before diving I did a season as a wildland firefighter, and before that I spent 6 years as an army infantryman. So my ability to assess risk is pretty poor
_Huey ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:26:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not much to add but you sound like a badass motherfucker. (And not the ironic meme kind)
I appreciate it, but not quite haha. When I was in the army my buddies and I used to joke about how average I was. Most people I meet would never guess I've had such a non-traditional life path. I like to make people laugh and am generally a kind person, so most people just assume I'm soft.
badon_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the perfect ninja assassin. Make it look like an accident. Then fake your own death. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm in AIT right now for 12D, army diver. All our instructors say military is the way to go if you stay in the field. I believed them but I definitely see why they say it so often now.
Their big thing is safety, too, which is reassuring.
More like it would die out because we all make daughters.
Honestly, I've always thought that would be a hell of a study because while my data only covers a small percentage of the industry (maybe 50 -100 divers I know well enough to know their kids) the number of female as compared to male offspring is WAY off from 50/50.
Dude, just don't go to their weddings. Not unless if you want your pregnant stomach stabbed, throat slit or head chopped off and sewn with a wolves' head
Johnathon Heir isn't a bad one either.
It'll be funny/sad if his brother was named Nathan Spare so you could play with the "The Heir and The Spare" phrase, but that wouldn't make sense since they would be from the same father and probably inherit his name.
"I can't remember his last name. It was Mr.....Mr...ugh, it had to do something with space."
"Mr. Astronaut?"
"No, he was Russian."
"Oh, Mr. Cosmonaut."
"That's it."
fubo ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 22:33:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the space-going branch of humanity in the Hyperion novels, one of the minor characters is named Mizenspesht, which is a worn-down form of the NASA title mission specialist.
Can you guys recommend any scifi novels in the vein of revelation space? I love the setting of the books and attention to realism but the dialogue is just... Ugh
I've already watched the series so dunno if the books will grab me as i already know the plot. Cool setting though, mabey ill give it a go. Is the writing strong? Too many scifi books i try to get into are let down when it comes to the strength of the writing.
bwc6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pandora's Star always reminded me of Revelation Space. Interstellar human civilization slowly uncovering ancient alien secrets. The second novel, Judas Unchained finishes up the story. There are further "Void" sequels, but they really aren't the same. They're more fantasy than sci-fi.
Yep, definitely they are. The first two of the series are EPIC and extremely enjoyable.
The last two are more meh in their story telling. Lots of boring or sometimes nonsensical passages, but there is some interesting worldbuilding and it discusses a few sci-fi topics through interesting points of view.
You're probably going to want to temper your expectations after all those people telling you that they're the best books ever.
To give a different view point, I really liked the first book until the end which was really frustrating. And the second book shifted away from where the first ended which was even more frustrating.
As good as the first book was I have a hard time recommending it because of the ending and with everyone else saying books 3 and 4 aren't very good I would say you might want to skip the series and go for something else.
Yeah, if I start it, I'll want to finish the series, even if it's a slog. I did that with the Wheel of Time and it turned out to be worth it in the end. 6 through 10 were hard to get through. Thanks for the honest input!
Teantis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to get into Culture series. The amount of unexplained terms being thrown around right off the bat for about 200 pages of the first book put me off it.
Consider Phlebas threw me off at first because it is told from the point of view of the opposite side.
HeDuXe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man I really enjoyed the Hyperion cantos and been listening to scifi books ever since. Ilium, olympos, everything from the same writer and lately other writers too, such as Ian Douglas - Star Carrier series.. Never heard of Culture though, is it similar?
It starts with Consider Phlebas. Iain M Banks, iirc. I'll be honest, I've heard many ravings about how awesome it is, but I found it hard to get into. I still haven't gone past the first couple chapters and I've owned it for 4 years. I'll probably give it a go again, though, because sometimes books just hit me wrong the first time through. I would recommend Peter F Hamilton's Commonwealth Saga, though. I've read it a few time through and I very much enjoyed it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'll try Player of Games first, and then try to read Consider Phlebas again. Perhaps it was too much being thrown into the middle of a bunch of terms that aren't explained? Normally, I like that sort of thing; the Commonwealth Saga is like that.
Asszem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would recommend reading both. From the Culture series you can start with Player of Games or even Use of Weapons. My personal favorite is Excession. But any of those will do.
It's my favorite too. Those ole' ships chattering and plotting, what could be more entertaining? The Minds are my favorite characters of the Culture series.
1's probably the best. #2 is good but not as good. #3 I listened to as an audiobook and loved it- difficult to compare with reading. #4 is the poorest but I enjoyed it. The ending wasn't magnificent but I was satisfied with the middle more upon reaching the end.
That kinda reminds me of the Outer Limits episode called Soldier. This future soldier guy ends up in a modern day city and gets captured, and he keeps repeating the phrase "Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao" which simply means "Name's Qarlo Clobregnny, Private RM AN TN DO" in his language which I guess is supposed to be just how the language evolved over hundreds of years.
The book Seveneves, by Neal Stephenson (plot: humanity has to escape to space to avoid disaster on earth) has characters with names like "Esa" and "Ariane" - many of them are named after people, places and things in the "Epic" which is their record of the escape (for example, "Cantabrigia" since an important character was educated at Cambridge), much like many names today are from the bible - as well as other space-derived names like "Yur"
You're thinking of the patronym, which is based on the father's name. E.g. Ivanovich is 'son of Ivan' and Ivanovna is 'daughter of Ivan'. Russians do also have surnames though. The patronym replaces the middle name.
No, the guy you're replying to is correct, the patronym is different. Say the father is Yuri, it would be Yurevna for daughters and Yurievich for sons. Surnames do indeed change based on gender, though it does change based on the actual name.
Professions end with -ov, and thus change, while certain other surnames (rather rare in my experience) do not. A girl I dated was Kuznetsova (the Russian equivalent of Smith, a profession) while her brother was Kuznetsov. But on the contrary one of her friends was a girl with the last name Surin, which I believe is some kind of adjectival name.
Just to further confuse non-Russian speakers - "-ov" is not limited to professions. When it's forming last name, it will be used with names, too - Ivanov ("belongs to the family of Ivan"), Petrov and so on.
zagood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This line of dialogue will appear in the pilot episode of Seinfeld 2.0.
Calmecac ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:57:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camila Camgirlez Garcia Rodriguez Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perales Sanchez de Pรฉrez because she is married now
Weekndr ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was love at first $20/hr cam session.
zerbyderp ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$20?! Multiply that by 10 and you've got the cost of a mid to lower-tier Eastern European performer. If you want her English-speaking and fairly attractive, multiply by 20.
Alex_801 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eastern European girls are gorgeous. I dunno what you're on mate.
I'm just going to disregard the real response and give a rough estimate of "old enough" and answer your second question with "yes". He lives in an urban area to practice medicine but rents out a large plot of farmland he inherited from his grandfather MacDonald to a company that raises various livestock that make various noises such as "moo" and "oink".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Partnership, they each allow their patents to continue going to the other
If you go to PEI Canada, about 30% of the population is Mac---- or Mc----. I had at least 2-3 people with the name
McDonald or MacDonald in every class going though school.
One professor at the university's name is Ronald MacDonald.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/onethreesixeight said, PEI is the official abbreviation for it and even Islanders just say PEI rather than Prince Edward Island.
It's like how ON stands for Ontario, BC for British Columbia, etc...
It's the little island in Atlantic Canada that I'd you rotate it slightly it looks like a Kangaroo. We have potatos, some of the world's best beaches, the world's best ice cream and cheese, and Anne of Green Gables.
Then for the other 10 months of the year we have a fuckton of snow and construction.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really only funny the first few times you hear it. Then you start picturing pelting with three day old McNuggets and wanting to cram their "E I E I O" where the sun don't shine.
It was just easier to deflate the jokes so they weren't funny anymore to the little a**holes.
I may still harbor some issues, evidently.
feb914 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just watched The Founder, it's very ironic that the founding brothers are completely cut off by Kroc and their original restaurant was barred from using McDonald's name and went out of business because of McDonald's franchise opened nearby.
Seriously, who wants to eat at Kroc's? Even Ray Kroc said so himself.
I've seen 'revert back' being used more and more by people outside india too.
'out of station' is one of those terms from the days of the old british raj which has stuck here, but has faded from the rest of the colonies (and uk) itself.
'Do one thing', 'rest is fine' are just translations from their hindi phrases. They sound absolutely fine in Hindi ('ek kaam karo', 'baki sab thik hai'). This is why they sound peculiarly indian, even though grammatically speaking, there is nothing wrong with those sentences.
prepone absolutely should be a word, even if it is not right now.
vyashole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:46 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get your point. I never said any of these were wrong. They're just cute indianisms that old people use. :P
Prepone IS a word. It originated in India and got adopted by most of south Asia. Just like tiffin, batchmates, etc. it is a word that has it's roots here, but is not widely used because the west hasn't accepted it (yet). I can't think of a more appropriate antonym of postpone.
Well, I've seen friends who have a family name which is also a common first name. So it's probably true, but even I as an Indian don't know how our nomenclature works.
I have worked with a guy named John Dev. And he is a developer.
_jk_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
alternatively Codesmith, also middle same would have to be Null or `); DROP TABLE students;--
tekanet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:15:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Bobby Tables
ducomors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the thought grammer being short for programmer
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit sure does circlejerk developers and "coders" a lot. Almost half of the comments I've seen here have been them
WinEpic ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, cuz reddit is what we do when weโre bored at work, or waiting for our computers do something
gerusz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:27:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or while we're in a call / meeting that should have been an e-mail.
WinEpic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S C R U M
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a developer and no one does that where I work. I think people have a wrong idea about the amount of free time devs have. I do work for a large company though, so it's probably really different from a tech startup
WinEpic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dev (work part time for a startup, so it's probably different) and there is much time spent compiling and waiting for unit tests. And also, if there's downtime that's too short to go back home, reddit happens.
It used to be waiting for shit to compile, nowadays it's mostly waiting for integration tests to run. Our test suite takes like 25 mins to run, so ya, there is definitely a good amount of waiting around.
I'm a developer and totally agree. Not that I mind all that much I suppose, but people on reddit love to jerkoff about developers, even though most of them aren't developers.
Also, IT is not anything close to being a developer, stop telling yourself that (not you, but all the people reading this).
ship0f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently watched a stream featuring someone named Dev (first name). It's a struggle b/c she gets pinged in her workplace's Slack channel whenever someone uses the word dev.
This name just originates from a one night stand and a misunderstanding. She lost contact with the father, but at least she knew his surname... right before he ejaculated he'd always introduce himself.
Goes back one, maybe two generations maximum. In the timeframe it's very unlikely. Not impossible, but very unlikely. I like those odds, my previous comment stands.
Millions of years ago, a couple somebodys created a line that led to me /scratches ass, puts another hot pocket in the micro
ssbmhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you don't know him. you don't know science bruh you don't have to cum to make a babeh. extract it from the testicular region and throw that shit on a girls tummy. roughly 6-13 months l8r you got a kid. check yo priv
How about artificial insemination and that guy boris becker
gizamo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Medical/scientific advancements make it possible to conceive children without sex or even male orgasm. Not my recommended method, but it's certainly doable.
Er, I'm scared to have an orgasm, could you please shove a needle in my nutsack and extract the cum directly from one of my balls? Thanks. I just don't feel comfortable cumming boo hoo.
Seriously, wtf kind of person would do this.
gizamo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumming Name Meaning English, Scottish, and Irish (of Norman origin): of disputed origin. It may be from a Celtic personal name derived from the element cam โbentโ, โcrookedโ (compare Cameron and Campbell). This was relatively frequent in Norfolk, Lincolnshire, and Yorkshire in the 12th and 13th centuries, perhaps as a result of Breton immigration. According to another theory it is a habitational name from Comines near Lille, but there is no evidence for this (no early forms with de have been found). In southern Ireland this Anglo-Norman name has been confused with 2. Irish: Anglicized form of Gaelic Mac Cuimรญn (or ร Cuimรญn) โson (or โdescendantโ) of Cuimรญnโ, a personal name formed from a diminutive of cam โcrookedโ. Americanized form of French Canadian Vien, Viens, based on the misconception that these derive from French venire โto comeโ.
So, your ancestor was "crooked" in some way most likely.
How neat! I was just about to make a joke about how our relatives probably came from the same village or something with my last name being Bender and then you posted this.
poopf4rt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is ware. How did this happen?
11zaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my last name too!! My dad keeps telling me it comes from "Ocomines" or something close, it's Scottish and we were in like for the throne, but John Comines was slain dishonorably by Robert the Bruce in a church.
Our while lineage was nearly destroyed afterwards, and now we are here today!
My grandfather likes to say "we're number two" is the true family motto.
I worked with a woman who's last name was Hooker. The origin story is exactly as it sounds.
splein23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew somebody with the last name of "Raper". Luckily it's roots have to do with making ropes. Not sure why they didn't go with Roper but who knows...
zieKen1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a conversation we had in 9th grade history. One girls name was "Cook," another was "Barber." One very otherwise quiet boy raised his hand and said, "What about mine?" His name was LaCock. The entire class erupted. One of my favorite stories to tell.
My birth last name is "Rhodes" So I guess my ancestors were... roads? THAT explains why that side of the family is so fucked up. Someone decided to fuck a travel way at some point. (All joking aside, I could ACTUALLY see someone in my family doing it. I would not be surprised one bit.) I do not know anything about my father's side other than the last name "Marks" Which I am assuming is a shortened version of "Marksman"
Yisexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the Netherlands surnames got introduced when Napoleon conquered the Netherlands and not all habitants took it seriously. After we regained control'the government decided to keep the surnames and the registration, so people ended up having surnames like "poepjes" (little poops) and "Scheetjes" (little farts).
Perhaps her personality worsened over time. He was stuck in a cycle where his only escape from his horrendous wife and mooch son was work. Then he retired and all he could do was endure her full time.
What was his other option? Divorce her and end up bagging groceries to support two homes? Besides, we know the lady of the house has expensive tastes.
Richard is funny because we don't get a solid read on whether he's happy or whether he even still loves Hyacinth. We just know that he very seldom stands up to her, likely as a defense mechanism.
LTVOLT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:34:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard seems miserable with her
Uuood7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's moved in with a very suitable friend. They're making their own curtains. Apparently his friend's very good with a needle. He has prizes for embroidery.
It's lovely to see. A big part of British upbringing that was, used to watch with my grandparents when I was younger.
bakuretsu ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American, actually, but they used it play it on... Maybe Public Broadcasting Service, I think, when I was a youngster and my parents used to watch it.
Which ones were "Are You Being Served," and "Outnumbered?"
Ruleb ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:47:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are You Being Served?" was the one in the 70s department store with the flaming menswear attendant and lots of 'pussy' jokes. "Outnumbered" is a more recent family comedy featuring the girl who was Princess Margaret in The King's Speech.
"Are You Being Served" was the one in the department store with Mr. Humphreys, Mr. Granger, ,Captain Peacock, Young Mr, Grace, etc...and "Outnumbered" was the one about the parents with the precocious children.
Unfortunately they never showed it in order so I was a bit confused, but thoroughly entertained! Trying to go back and watch them in order now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the books! I didn't particularly like the show, but the books are wonderful. After I finally read Hitchhiker's Guide and hated it I was recommended these as a condolence.
I actually read and listened on audiobook to Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers; that was when I realized the way I had seen the episodes I had wasn't correct.
(I have to confess; I've never read Hitchhiker either. I've tried a few times too. shhhhhh. )
We watched it every Saturday night. There was a two-hour block of Britcoms from 8-10 (or 9-11?) each week that was always a lark.
The Bucket Lady, ThermoMan, this one about some dude who could go back in time to The Blitz and had a second life (I think it was called "The Long Kiss Goodnight?"), and of course a number of other ones I can't remember... Oh yeah, that one with Judy Dench that was actually almost more of a light drama...
...
M~E~M~O~R~I~E~S
[Redit: As has been pointed out by several commenters (THANKS CUTIES!), it was called "Goodnight Sweetheart," not "The Long Kiss Goodnight." I could never really get into that one, I didn't get it. But also, my mom is incredibly prudish, and since the protagonist had taken partners, she hated on that show vociferously. So, some of my lack of engagement with GS is probably picking up on her vitriol (I was young when it was on).
"As time goes by" is the one with Judy Dench playing the mom. With the two younger women and the author from Kenya who met Judy as a nurse in a war. And Alistair the agent.
Thecna2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:33:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this one about some dude who could go back in time to The Blitz and had a second life (I think it was called "The Long Kiss Goodnight?),
Goodnight Sweetheart, after the 1931 song used as the title piece.
They made a special one-off show last year of it, with all the same actors, of Gary Sparrow returning to the modern day after 20years or so of being stuck in the past. It was surprisingly good.
Same! It was a rare, usually late night PBS showing (along with Blackadder, Flying Circus, and Father Ted) when I was in high school (American here, I caught the programs between 2001-2005 and taped them on VHS). What a joy to see them referenced on Reddit!
it's got to do with how the show grows on you over time. at first it's almost cringe-level, but eventually, as Hyacinth gets more ridiculous over time, she becomes kinda like Homer Simpson and does stupid stuff that people have either done themselves or have watched someone else do to hilarious effect.
I'm sure my wife watched an episode just this week. it's still on.
EllenWow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been waiting so long (since they announced the spin-offs) to pitch my "Keeping Up Appearances"/ "Game of thrones" hybrid and I feel like this might be my time to strike, but also might just be me jumping at my first opportunity. Shit.
I saw it on the local PBS back in the day. Iirc the line up here was "Keeping up Appearances" "Are You Being Served" "Stargazers" (that one was a short about various astronomical events coming up) and "Doctor Who"
I grew up watching the show with my grandparents... it's just ingrained in my soul now.
SJammie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just found this and went "Hang on, what? This is reddit, I did not expect this".
Jordoom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its bittersweet for me. I used to watch it with my great-grandmother. So when I watch it now, I start off laughing but generally finish sobbing uncontrollably.
chux4w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She hasn't put out since Sheridan was born. She references in an episode, tells some other lady that whenever those thoughts come to polish the silverware or something.
KeetoNet ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm thinking of Hyacinth's pussy and I think I need a shower.
I had to be exposed to a dubbed version of that nearly every single day for months on end. I had finally forgotten that it exists, and now I'm being dragged back to it.
Also I'm sure I missed the reference that got you gold.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
EDIT: Wow! My first ever gold :D Thank you! I'm so happy there are so many hidden Keeping Up Appearances fans out there.
And yet again, a perfectly good comment is ruined by a stupid cringey "acceptance speech" edit. How much of a loser are you, honestly?
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much of a loser are you to call someone else a loser because they typed a sentence about how pleased they are? Was it really necessary? Really that necessary just to let me know how easily annoyed you get at things? At a menial Reddit comment? Do you just hate everything? Go and cheer yourself up and watch some Keeping Up Appearances! And maybe spend a little less time grumbling on the internet about gold "acceptance speeches" and watching porn? Loser.
Judging by your post history I think its pretty clear you're the loser here. You don't get the chance to complain in real life don't you? Maybe need some friends or something? You've been complaining about the topic for over three hours!!!!!
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. That's pretty sad actually....
NordyNed ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Irish? /s
togro20 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 19:56:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced "Bloffer" when anglicized, but retains the old "Blaugher" in Ireland.
Funny, if it were to be written as "Blagheur" or something like that, it would mean "loser" in Flemish-Dutch. French probably works too since we borrowed it from the French word "blague" which means "joke" - it has a negative connotation in the Flemish dialect, as if the person would be an absolute joke.
Clark here, too. When I signed up for Facebook in 2006, there were 12 pages of people with both my first and last names. Now, who knows, but I'm guessing there are thousands. Thanks for the generic name, family.
I'd ask what your first name is, but that would give me your true name, which gives me power over you... But, since there are at least twelve other people with your fore and surname, I think it's safe.
OreBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know your pain.
vonlowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am likely to be the only person ever with my name - my first isn't super common (but at least people know how to spell it) and then my surname is pretty rare - I'm one of 1600 (of 65 million) people in my country with it.
My family legend is that we, the Clarkes, added the E after we got across the pond because the Clarks were a bunch of shifty fuckers and we didn't want to be associated with them any longer.
The Clark family in my area are all scum, just recently a bunch of them and their friends put a motorbike inside an Iceland (grocery store) delivery van and set it on fire. so I can believe this.
Yeah you're wrong. It's called 'spelling pronunciation' because americans just read what they see. Some even pronounce the L in 'folk.' Or pronounce leisure as if it rhymes with seizure.
burlal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only ever heard dealer in terms of drug dealer or someone who works in casinos. We're talking English surnames and in England it would be a car salesman not a car dealer.
Rokusi ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 19:47:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In America we call a place where you get cars a "car dealership" and the guy that sells them the "car dealer" or just the "dealer."
Renotss ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:00:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US we use showroom too, but specifically for the area inside the building that holds the really nice cars for, well, show. Most of the cars are in the lot outside, and we call the entire thing a dealership.
In the US, the auto dealership system is so heavily regulated that it's effectively a dynastic oligopoly. Car manufacturers aren't allowed to sell direct (though this has recently started becoming an issue with Tesla) and this dramatically cuts down competition.
It's the reason you see so many "mega-dealers". The one big car dealership company, usually identified by a family surname, probably with 3-5 different locations all focused on a different manufacturer or imprint.
I'm in America and I would call them car salesmen too. I think I would only use "dealer" if I was actually talking about the guy who owned the whole dealership.
When referring to the dealership as an entity I could see dealer being used but not for the people employed.
I'm also from Oregon, and my little brother is a car salesmen.
Qwixotik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Alabama and we use "car dealership" but call the employees "car salesman". I've heard dealer but it's rare if referring to someone who works at a dealership; It's usually in reference to a used car dealer.
MeateaW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I'm going to throw in some of my own subjective opinions on this not really obscrure languagism!
I would talk about a "car dealership", and I would shorten that to "dealer" when talking about the business.
When I am talking about an individual in the dealership, or an employee of the dealer, I would call them a salesman, or salesrep.
So, as you can see above, I used the term dealer, to talk about the car dealership, "the business", but just in a different tense (or something I don't the english grammar that good).
Source: Am Australian.
Qwixotik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:21 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would refer to the dealer in the same way you would. I guess it's all very subjective.
I am in Az the dealer is usually the complex service center ect the guy you deal with when buying the car is sales the only time I heard a car salesman call him self close to a dealer he owned a little used lot and would say "I own a dealership" when asked what he did, this was not the only 'exaggeration' he was fond of.
itsdr00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also in AZ, and I agree. A dealer is a company/building. The guy you talk to is a salesman.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:47:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Southern California, we call them dealers here.
VAPRx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From California and have 2 family friends who are car dealers and even have it on their business cards. I think its more of a slang term though, because I have had to print business cards for a local Ford dealership and the dealers all have Salesman as their position. However when talking to them they call themselves dealers too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
VAPRx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yeah very good point! The 2 family friends who call themselves car dealers actually own the dealership so it would explain the difference between the 2 businesses.
Around here, there seems to be a slight distinction based on the place. Sketchy used car places have salesmen, big lots selling new cars etc have dealers.
It might vary from state to state, but I've only heard 'Dealer' as the person who owns the place. Everyone else is a salesman.
It has to do with the fact that if you buy or sell more than a certain number of cars each year, you have to have a dealer's license, for which they check your background. You can then hire salespeople to act in your name buying and selling cars for your dealership.
I've always known it as the car dealer owns the dealership, the salespeople work for the dealer. The actual people on the sales floor selling you a car are salespeople.
I used to work at a dealer auction lot where cars are sold to car dealers, as in dealership owners. Salespeople wouldn't be there, they weren't even allowed to be. The terms aren't interchangeable in that case so I'm not sure what the dealership owner would be called if the sales staff are also called dealers.
From Metro-Detroit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might be a regional thing, but in New England we have car dealerships with car salesmen. No one says, "I hate car dealers, those slimy dicks." It just sounds stupid. Car salesmen on the other hand, that sounds a little less ridiculous.
codychro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk man, I call them dealerships, but the people who work there are salesmen.
dpatt711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of someone calling the salesmen "dealers". Not even the salesmen call themselves that. I've heard of the business referred to as a car dealer, and the physical building referred to as a dealership.
Eveesix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most be regional. I live in America, have never heard the term car dealer. Always been salesman.
In australia and nz you buy cars from a stealership, the people selling the cars are known by a number of names best not used in polite company. They are also occasionally know as dealers or salesman.
gr89n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've successfully turned Monger into a better surname than Dealer.
FCD_1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But we do say "Second hand car dealer" in England too.
That one's been around for at least a millennia or two, amigo.
Last name: Clark
This long-established surname is of Anglo-Saxon origin, and is from a medieval occupational name for a scribe or secretary, or for a member of a minor religious order. The word "clerc", from the Olde English pre 7th Century "cler(e)c", priest, originally denoted a member of a religious order only, but since the clergy of minor orders were allowed to marry and so found families, the surname could become established. It should also be noted that during the Middle Ages virtually the only people who were able to read and write were members of religious orders and it was therefore natural that the term "clark" or "clerk" would come to be used of any literate man
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry mate, I don't touch any trailers, my hostling specialty is locomotives...
BLSBobby ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good. We also use "hostlers" in our frieght yards.... Motherfucker backed a trailer in or pulled out too close to another trailer that was loaded with my frieght and it sheared the hazmat placards straight off.....didn't tell nobody..
Well I have a partner who drives the engines and I ride in the stepwell and throw switches... technically my last name would be Hostlerhelper then I guess ๐
I'm neither linguist or historian, but I'll go out on a limb and say that Germanic "waggon" was displaced by the Norman French "cart" in Merry Olde when the Normans were writing commercial law. From then, the trade name went from "Wagner" to "Carter". 1066 and all that.
I live in Philadelphia, and one of the large parks is called "Pennypacker" after a former governor. Apparently, it's from the German phrase for "Clay tile-baker".
EDIT: I got that wrong. It's not named after Pennypacker, it's actually Pennypack Park and is from a corruption of the local Native American name for the Pennypack Creek which runs through it (e.g. "Pennishpaska"). It's by total coincidence that there were two notable men from the early 20th Century named "Pennypacker" in the Philadelphia area; the other being Gen. Galusha Pennypacker. Just to add to the confusion, Gov. Pennypacker's former home and grounds are now a historic site, so one could speak of Pennypacker park, although it's not in Philadelphia proper.
Well, in the army I served in the same company as HG (similar to PFC) Soldat. "Soldat" literally means "soldier".
Fans of "Archer" also will know "Krieger", which simply is the modern German word for "warrior".
Ranks that appeared during the 30-years-war are also somewhat common last names: "Hauptmann" (captain), "Oberst" (colonel), "Webel/Weibel/Wiebel" (seargeant)
There also is "Reiter" (rider, horseman), but that could also mean a civilian rider. Unlike "Ritter" which is also a last name and means "knight". However "Ritter" was a title of nobility until 1918 and such is rather uncommon as a last name.
Then we have a bunch of regional languages and dialects with their words also appearing as last names, but rather infrequently. The Plattdรผรผtsch (northern Germany) word for "war" is "Orlog", for example, while it is "Krieg" in German.
Concerning words with an Old Germanic root the warrior names are mostly first name territory (although sometimes what would normally be a male first name pops up as last name); like
"Eckhard"(m) (strong sword)
"Gerhard"(m) (strong spear)
"Gerold"(m) (spear-ruler)
"Robert"(m) (radiant glory)
"Harald" (m) (commander; literally "the ruler of the army")
"Herbert"(m) (glorious army)
"Lothar"(m) (loud warrior; as last name: "Luther")
"Thorwald"(m) (wielding Thor's might)
"Waltraud"(f) (the one hoped for on the field of battle; protector of the fallen)
"Brunhilde"(f) (battle armour)
"Gertrud"(f) (magic spear)
"Inge"(f) (protector)
"Rosalind"(f) (healer of the battle steeds)
Freight vehicle drivers vs passenger vehicle drivers. I was trying to find a way, using common English words, to express that these are two different vocations and so would have different surnames, within the context of this AskReddit. (Wagner is German, but I offer it as a contraction of "Waggoner")
So what you're saying is Driver would be for like taxi's, not the passengers? The way you phrased it I thought you meant passengers would get the name Driver.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither are half of the "professions" people listed in this thread. Your point is moot. Especially since the way they phrased it said passenger, and not "passenger drivers" or "passenger vehicles".
nerak1138 ยท 7969 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A place opened nearby that makes barrels for Jack Daniels whiskey. I don't know how many people work there. I do know that it was cheap to buy used whiskey barrels but now craft brewers buy them all.
Fun fact learned while touring distilleries in Kentucky over the weekend: by US law, bourbon must be aged in new, white oak barrels charred on the inside. That means that as long as there is bourbon being made, there needs to be coopers to make the barrels. Bourbon production is only growing, so coopers are safe with their jobs until automation cracks that industry.
A mild touch of Baader-Meinhof going on here: I just recently watched this documentary about a modern cooper. Even if you don't understand German, the craftmanship is very nice.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:33:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SuzQP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob IA, at your service Boss.
Emptamar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's got a couple decades left. Driving semis is not nearly as easy as a car, plus you've got to worry about tarping, strapping, your load shifting while driving, or blowing a tire on the freeway. With all the regulations imposed on truckers, automation won't be legal for a while.
sohcgt96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it does happen I'd figure light cargo box trucks happening first, but the flat bed, heavy equipment, tank and hazmat ones will be very last if ever. Partially because of the nature of it, partially because of the Walmart and JB Hunt type companies with large amounts of capital to invest.
Emptamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, I really only think of flatbed since that's what my husband does.
sohcgt96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old roomate is a flatbed driver too, harder job than it sounds like isn't it? Tarping that stuff down isn't just laying down picknick blankets with a few bungee cords and calling it a day.
Crandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a warehouse and it's a cold, repetitive bitch. I feel like I'm managed by algorithms and they just hired slightly more qualified meatbags to be the mouthpiece of those algorithms. I knew what I was signing up for but damn, it's lonely work. It's like they've got everything lined up to be done as efficiently as possible by robots, they just haven't gotten around to putting the robots in yet.
Any customer-facing work is probably going to take a while to end up fully automated, I really think that. But frankly there's little reason not to relegate the behind the scenes shit to AI especially if it's just shifting pallets and boxes. Get it over with and maybe I'll be lucky enough to service my new robot overlords.
Yglorba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit disturbing to realize that the most popular profession in almost every US state is also the one most likely to be eliminated by automation within the (relatively) near future.
Emptamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's got a couple decades left. Driving semis is not nearly as easy as a car, plus you've got to worry about tarping, strapping, your load shifting while driving, or blowing a tire on the freeway. With all the regulations imposed on truckers, automation won't be legal for a while.
this reminds of a short story written by Jack London, set in a post-apocalyptic world in which there is a clan called "Drivers" who took their name after the first clan chiefs profession, even though most have forgotten what a driver did. The story is called the Scarlet Plague
"The dragon had been trapped underneath the grocery store since the stone ageโโdon't worry about the timelineโthis is as much a time travel story as anythingโโthe most important thing to understand right now is that the dragon was trapped underneath Uberson's Foods, and for the past 138 years, it had been mindjacking the self-checkout robot and forcing it to act like a dick.
It wasn't a great plan. So far, absolutely nobody had been pissed off enough to bomb the grocery store. But recently, the self checkout A.I.'s behavioral prediction algorithms had been flagging Tommy as a fairly consistent 12% risk...."
lordsmish ยท 1314 points ยท Posted at 23:59:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok stop taking the piss and let your mind flow i want a novel
In a different part of the story, it was Thursday or something. August 15th. Some guy named Walter walked out of a gutted house and just stood there staring at the sand.
There was a lot to consider. He put his hands on his hips and let them drop and put them back again.
"Yeah, wellโฆ" he said, "desperate times, desperate measuresโฆ"
It was a dumb thing to say, but there was nobody around to notice.
"What's the big deal?" He nodded and put his hands back on his hips. "I mean, likeโฆ what's the big deal, you know? This is justโฆ how it goesโฆ"
If you're starving to death, sure. No one can blame somebody for doing what they need to to survive. This was similar, but deep down, Walter knew it'd be more for convenience than utter necessity.
It really didn't help that it was the body's birthday. Either that or some dirtpirates strapped a party hat on her and baked her a cake before beating her to death with a shovel and stealing every useful object she owned, including the cake. Only thing left was the candleโ"60!!!"
Those animal bastards had jammed it in her eye socket. Lit it, too. Happy birthday to EYE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Didn't eat her, though. You don't have to be a cannibal if you get there first.
Walter tried to think of what his friend Robie would've said. Robie was a real free-thinker. The exact type of rebel visionary who'd've been king of the apocalypse if he hadn't been allergic to ants.
"You gotta do what you gotta do, Walt," Robie would've said. And Walter would've said something like "but she looks kind of like my momโฆ"
"It, Walt. It looks like your mom. You've gotta depersonalize something if you want to eat it."
Walter went back inside to see if anything about the situation seemed different.
There it was: the birthday girl.
"You can'tโฆ you don't justโฆ what's the point ofโฆ" Walter thought, "I mean, likeโฆdon't kill somebody with a shovel on their birthday. Especially not a sad birthday she had to make for herself because everyone who loves her is dead. She probably watched their heads turn inside out. Jesus. Poor gal was just trying to feel happy about still being alive. Woulda been hard, but she had to tryโฆ.โfor fuck's sake, did they really need to jam it in her eye??"
Someone needed to lighten the mood.
"Who knows," Walter said out loud to the body. "Maybe you had friends on your birthday. I mean, there's no way to tell for sure that you didn'tโฆ."
Yeah there is.
He pictured the body saying this, and for some reason, it was a real dick about it.
First of all, there'd be more bodies. Let's count the bodies: oneโit's me.
"Maybe your friends escaped."
All of them? And they took the chairs? Come on, boobooโฆ you really think a horde of teeth-faced Chigs finds a birthday party full of 60-year-olds, and there's some scenario where even one of the 60-year-olds makes it out alive?
"Well, mโ"
โWhile carrying a chair?
"Maybe they took your friends. To, like,โฆ do stuff to."
But they didn't want me?
Walter hadn't meant it like that.
So the story we're going with is: those birthday-murdering, candle-jamming, swamp monsters busted into my happybirthday friendparty, stole our chairs, murdered me, and then stole and had nonconsensual intercourse with all my friends? As long as nobody died alone, though, right?
"Christ. I'm just trying to look at things positiveโฆ"
Great job. Happy birthday to me. Next maybe you could tell me a story where you came here to say that.
"I wouldn't have killed you, probably. And I definitely wouldn't have done the candle in your eye. Why do that? There's no reason to do that. I don't even understand how you get the idea to do that."
Walter stared at it for a while. The opulence. The horror.
Did you lose your manners? Doesn't matter what it looks like. A blobby wax spider struggling to get out of a blood swamp or something, or a blood octopus giving birth to a fire octopus. Doesn't matter. Just do what yโ
โcreaking sounds. Maybe the door. They could still be around.
Too late to hide now, dear. Hold still. Only run if you have to.
That's actually really good story telling. If you made it up on the fly then I'm impressed. You manage to hint at a lot of characterisation and bigger story in such a tight space. For example the bit about the ants that cracked me up.
Well done
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:35:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be an understatement to say he didn't go anywhere. He had been trapped underneath the grocery store, unable to move anything but his pinky claw for longer than wheels have been around if you're counting straight through.
If he'd had a last name, it would've been Tootrappedtohaveajob.
He never had a last name, but his first name was Brรถd.
Before becoming a dragon named Brรถd, Brรถd had been a turbomole named Brรถd. And immediately prior that, he had been a monk named Brรถd.
The transition from mole to dragon had not been intentional. Any half decent shapeshifter knows not to transform into an eight-ton oxygen-preferring reptile while you're ninety feet underground. And Brรถd was a particularly decent shapeshifter. In any other situation, he would have been able to turn back into a mole and continue the original mission.
But on this particular day, time malfunctioned at the exact wrong time.
You'd need to be a physicist from an alternate universe for the explanation to take less time than I have, but in short, for approximately 3 seconds, it became 9014 BC everywhere. By the time the malfunction was reversed, there was a grocery store directly on top of him, and everybody who might have wondered where he was was dead.
Convincing someone to bomb the grocery store by mech-warging into the self-checkout A.I. seemed like the only option he had left.
mintzie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:28:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dragon-sponsored cyborg terrorism? Has Brรถd only been underground for moments in his own timeline, or has be been twiddling his pinky claw for millennia?
Did he live for so long because he's a dragon, or because he's a monk, or because he's a time traveller? These disparate themes have unexpectedly similar consequences.
ninja edit: Unfortunately, Reddit is exactly the wrong medium to do serial lit on.
The birthday house was still partially boarded up, and it was hard to see through the dust in the air, but something was crawling around on all fours, and it looked like a person.
What in tarnationโฆI've got a birthday candle with my own brains on it in one eye, and a balcony view of hell in the other, and I ain't never seen anything like that in my lifeโฆ.
The more rapport Walter developed with the body, the more cowboyish its observations sounded.
Yep, that's the weirdest damn thing I ever seen, cowpoke. Glad I'm already dead. Good luck to you, though.
It crawled closer. It was for sure a person. Charlie, to be specific. Walter recognized himโthey'd worked the same shift at Gas-n-Git before everybody went crazy and the economy collapsed. He'd always been a weird kid, but never... like this. Poor kid. Walter didn't know what the proper thing to do was. Should he say hi? He felt like he should say hi, but he didn't know Charlie well enough to predict how he'd react.
He'd need to decide what to do soon, because it looked like Charlie was picking up his scent. He crawled around sniffing the air with a perplexed look on his face, then he bent all the way down and sniffed the ground. He crawled closer.
Walter decided to say hi so it wouldn't seem like he'd been hiding.
It'd be difficult to explain it all at once, but we'll start with the immediate.
Remember that shovel? The one that made the body a body instead of a person?
It was still laying on the table.
The second he made eye contact with Charlie, Walter knew roughly what was about to happen. It's just one of those things you can tell from the way an animal looks at you. And the way Charlie looked at him said two things:
1: "Hello! My body is a person, but I'm not!"
And
2: "You're going to die right now*
*unlessyoufindsomewaytomakemediefirst."
Walter grabbed the shovel.
He yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY, CHARLIE, FUCK YOU CHARLIE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??" and started swinging at the air in front of him.
Charlie's eyes narrowed. He backed off a little bit.
"Yeah, Charlie: I'm gonna kill you if you get closer," Walter said. "Don't you dare get any closer, Charlie. I'm having a bad day, and I'm gonna kill you."
Charlie stopped getting closer. He cocked his head and made the same confused face. He sniffed the air a little more.
"I'M GONNAKILL YOU, CHARLIE. I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU GET CLOSER."
Charlie backed away. He seemed genuinely confused. The way he was looking at Walter now was more along the lines of "Oh no, I do not know what I am doing, and I am very scared."
"GO AWAY, CHARLIE."
Charlie backed away further.
"GO ALL THE WAY AWAY, CHARLIEโYOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT. I'M GONNAKILLYOU."
Jesus this is amazing! You should keep going, and maybe post it all together somewhere so we don't have to crawl through the comments to find it in order!
Rorroh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:46:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was "The Dead Zone" and while it was interesting I kept finding myself wondering when the story was actually going to go somewhere. When I got two thirds of the way throughand found the mystery resolved with no emotional payoff whatsoever I kind of gave up. So I guess I've read two thirds of a Stephen King book. Did I read the wrong one?
I think you did, or at least the wrong one to start with. I see your point about the long, rambling aspect of his writing. I would try out Gerald's Game, Rose Madder, or It as the second one to read. I haven't read any of his books after Insomnia (recommend this one, too, but it's a long rambling one) but I'm a big fan of his works before that.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is more like Douglas Adams
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is in the vein of Douglas Adams
Weigh13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking more like Tao Lin.
qrseek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear the Douglas Adams influence in your writing and I love it!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:44:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wille179 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:03:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, this is really fun. Are you a writer? Did you start your comment with a whole plot, and only offer the opening paragraph? Or are you just going with it?
That's from a story I've been working on for ages, but I figured "fuck it, I'll make it work somehow..."
It has been a very impulsive day for me. I honestly don't know what my endgame is. I mean, this is the most fun I've had in a while, but am I really going to write an entire novel in an AskReddit comments thread?
Please say this isn't the end of the story, I'm too involved now! I'm already prepared to keep reading to the point that it makes me horribly tired and unproductive in work tomorrow.
I loved the hands on hip line.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:22:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares, publish the book already. You got my money.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, these are great. Let us know if you decide to post these somewhere specific, would ya?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Nobodyโnot even Tommyโknew this. Despite its vastly superhuman intelligence, the self checkout A.I. lacked the capability to communicate anything other than PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA and AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA: PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM BACK IN THE BAGGING AREA. It had made several attempts to communicate in morse code by rapidly alternating between these phrases, but that backfired every time.
And this Sunday, there was a 97.4% chance that Tommy would attempt to purchase 30 or more individual packets of cherry Kool Aid powder, which is simultaneously the most frustrating singular item available for self-purchase and a key ingredient for a homemade explosive nicknamed 'chepalm'โฆ"
[deleted] ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 00:13:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the moment he posted "To be fair, the robot was getting pretty tired of Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant's attitude too..." that was absolutely my thought as well.
So nobody pointed out that the original prompt had a boy with the last name selfcheckoutaid who was having a conflict with the robot, yet your entire story is based off of the setting and history/future of a grocery store with a robot as the self check out aid.
MNGrrl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-- This thread brought to you by Circlejerk Shitposterson, who feels that President TrumpBot 84 is too soft on roboimmigration. #MakeRoboDrumfGreatAgain
"The dragon, who would only really be considered a dragon in this timeline, woke up on Sunday feeling more ornery than average. It's hard being a nearly omnipotent pan-dimensional shapeshifter trapped under literally the only thing you are less powerful than.
But in the game of Rock, Dragon, Grocery Store, grocery store beats dragon every time. Not only that, it prevents dragon from being able to use some of its other powers, including shapeshift.
It was an extremely unfortunate coincidence. In fact, in the entirety of spacetime, there had only been one coincidence worse than this...."
Tirigad ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:43:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't until a personal visit from Peter Proctologist that things began to get weird.
evequest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Many decadea ago, at the dawn of the Robot Age, Man stood at the crossroads and pondered over such dilemmas. Who's to say the turn they took was ill-chosen? Not me."
BLU3SKU1L ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:02:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Robert Cashier, arresting officer. You know my dad's great grandfather was a money changing man. It was a humble but proud profession. I hate to see this young man bringing shame to his family legacy..."
Damn can you imagine if we still did the whole "last name based on your parent's last name" thing? Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant's kids would be Selfcheckoutattendantson and Selfcheckoutattendantdaughter respectively.
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something. It's like if David Wong wrote an entire book just containing soy sauce scenes, then tore it to pieces, and presented us with seven scraps of paper.
Then people could actually be called "Mr President."
bobbysq ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 22:41:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every president also ends up recorded in history with President as their last name, so kids end up learning about John President, George President, James President, William President, etc.
ThingYea ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure loads of kids would end up thinking America had a royal family with the last name President.
If President was their shared name, wouldn't they be President I, President II, and President III, etc. all the way down like the Ptolemaic dynasty? Or would it become a title all over again like Caesar?
That sounds like something out of a sci-fi book. A lot of American history is destroyed, but historians think there was one leader who changed shape every four-eight years who's last name was President.
I would like to introduce our President, Mr Mister President.
helix19 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:44:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to howmanyofme.com, there are 937 people in the US with the last name President.
ashdean ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna say, I've definitely had a customer with that last name. Tickled me to say "And how can I help you today Mr. President?" Gotta be amused by the little things.
When I worked at a bank, my manager told me a story about an old customer he worked with: he kept having to go back to court over minor offences (e.g. refusal to pay parking tickets, etc.).
In the end, had his last name legally changed to "President" for the sole fact that every time the Magistrate wanted to refer to him, would need to call him "Mr. President".
I'd say it was the most spite-filled power trip of all time, but you lot just put the next best thing into the Oval Office..
Every Doctor would be "Dr. Doctor" That would be fucking confusing as all fuck. Imagine going to a hospital and trying to find your doctor when there are 50 "Dr. Doctor" in the hospital
PePziNL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
xsgerry ยท 17029 points ยท Posted at 19:12:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, the name's Sysadmin. JAMES Sysadmin.
closest ยท 3909 points ยท Posted at 22:07:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Sysadmin has two kids;
Baeyden Sysadmin
and
McMylettlyi Sysadmin-Vlogger
IanPPK ยท 2365 points ยท Posted at 22:12:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot his late child, rm -rf.
[deleted] ยท 1871 points ยท Posted at 22:29:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody realizes that if his kid was named rm -rf he would have killed his parents too.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not parents, but his children, the children's children and so on. -r just says to delete contents from the bottom up until you reach the original directory. Continuing up the ancestry from there would be hilarious.
Ryltarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No big deal. You should generally link to the comic's page not the image, that way they can see the alt text and (in subreddits where it's not banned) the xkcd bot can do its magic.
With the occupation of "cobbler" existing (one who repairs shoes), and ergo the surname Cobbler, which would have been a "re-booter" back in the day, and with the acronym "CPU" looking so much like the word "cup", we would wind up with "Cupcobbler" or "CupCobbler" (in the spirit of the Mc?_____'s out there) or "CP'Cobbler" (in the spirit of the O'?___'s, but pronounced either "cupcobbler" or "kipcobbler", depending on where you're from), all of which is extra pun-tastic considering many first-time users mistake the CD drive tray for a cup holder.
That reminds me of a story I heard here about a little kid who was being put to bed by his parents, and when they said goodnight he said "don't forget to like and subscribe!" because he thought it meant goodbye.
"It's an old family name, but there's lots of history to it, so I don't want to change it. Just go ahead and make the cheque out to 'Peter Likecommentandsubscribe,' please. Hmm? Oh, yes, 2 'M's.
"I'm just lucky that my mother changed her name when she married my father, otherwise I'd be 'Peter Contractuallyobligatedcalltoaction.' Could you imagine if they'd merged their last names...?"
He's not pining, he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him go the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history. He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX PARROT!!!
PoiLethe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like a blackberry please
catloving ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rice Lied
georgke ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:35:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SQUAWKY!!! (Older users will recognize this from the Conan O'Brien show, summer of '96.)
oglafa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much for a banana?
Symbolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in "on the..."?
MooKids ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 18:11:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean "Entrepreneur".
gr89n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my language Entreprenรธr means "Contractor" as in constructing, demolishing or otherwise carrying out construction work. Independent contractors we just call "konsulent" - this is where it gets confusing because we use that word for all these people
independent contractors who do don't do consulting work
permanently salaried office staff
actual consultants
Edit: Business entrepreneurs we call "Grรผnder", but we do say they practice "entreprenรธrskap" (entrepreneurship), but this is a bit of confusing.
MooKids ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:10:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US, an entrepreneur is usually someone who is self-employed, runs a small business or has a start-up business. While there are plenty of people who are legitimate in what they are doing, there are a small few who brag about being an "Entrepreneur", but are in fact unemployed or have the hopes of an unrealistic business (i.e. Record Label), but lack the capital or know how to run it.
In short, some people use entrepreneur as a euphemism for unemployed.
gr89n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got the joke but spelling it out isn't a waste of time - the word exists in many languages with different meanings.
I guess a direct translation from French would be "undertaker" (someone who undertakes), but that's not quite right :-)
cornu63 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's "art-major"
DavidRFZ ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert T. Drifter
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jake 'Tweener.
Tweener would also be used for the in-between keyframe artists in animation.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:19:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?!
Schaef93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens if there's multiple career paths, I wonder? John Couchman, John Clerk, John Student, John Journeycouchman, John Cubicle, John Mastercouchman, John Losthiscouchman, John Alleyboxman.
Haha - Fieldman, I love that! Where I'm from nearly all the names are derived from patronymics, so they're never quite as interesting as ones like these.
Which I would bet a million dollars is related to the English word acre and which I can extrapolate to be the equivalent to the English surname Acreman. Basically, I want you to give me a million dollars.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done a quick check of Wiktionary, and you seem to be right - both come from the Proto-Germanic *akraz, meaning field, open land. Unfortunately, I don't have a million dollars to spare.
Well, although our names vary from Nakamura and Li to Belotti and Hรคssmann, we are all Brazilian so we cry together in the one-minute silence before every class in memory of that tragic day
Fun fact: Ackermann is a wine maker from East France (around the area of Saumur, region of Maine et Loire).
Personal experience: Their sparkling white isn't bad (but I prefer a good Valdobbiadene Prosecco or Black Pinot winified in white from Italy), it's a champigny method wine (not a champagne because it's not where champagne is made).
SeredW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Akker (Dutch) or Acker (German) means field, as in a farmers' field to grow wheat or some such. Someone with the German surname Ackermann is quite probably a descendant from a farmer or farmers' hand. (also note the link to the word 'acre')
In Dutch, we have the surname Akkerman but it is relativey rare when compared to the rather common surname 'De Boer', which is literally 'The Farmer'.
It is and dude makes some sweet videos. Check out 'turbo killer' by carpenter brut. Can't remember his first name, but an Ackerman did the music video for it.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know an Achterman.
Logstick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
skywarka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:29:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's risky, make sure you correctly polarize the memory coil on both components, otherwise the reverse proxy might feed back into the inversion matrix.
Why would you cross reference the superconducter node? If you are off by even 1% it could create a polyionic cascading feedback loop, it could easily fry the capacitor. It would be much better to add a nano-silicon bridge right before the node. It would take some work but would safely boost efficiency.
Mitraosa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but as many have aptly noted: if you don't modify the magnetoreistant arm in accordance with the sinusoidal vector differential before use, you're gonna have a bad time.
I'm missing something somewhere. I suspect, from a different comment, that people like the crazy science dialog. That being said, no, it's not a real thing.
T4O4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw pretty much the same thing in another thread elsewhere the other day, "Shut the fuck up" replying to a normal comment like it is here. Kinda weird lol
nannal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we have a receive modulator, and using this we might be able to conduct a mainframe cell direct?
Like fuck mate, it's a receiver module.
You need a TX modulator, using that you could create a standard unicast packet and arpspoof the mainframes cell which could allow you to redirect traffic to the download server, as long as they're using plaintext you can then steal the time hacking secrets, but if it's encrypted I'll have to break out some GPUs and bruteforce that puppy.
If their keylength is long (I've started to default to 8192 ) then we could be looking at years before the data is readable, but for time hacking secrets, it's worth the wait.
What awesome board games are you currently hoarding? I just got back into gaming and started my collection up, then suddenly lost my job. No hoarding for me. It's come down to Goodwill finds and clearance shelves at Walgreens. :-(
Oh, and my surnames not Hacker, but I did spend the last 25 yrs in IT also. lol
Bibbus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:04:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given only to the most powerful in the world
Richjl22 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:18:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Summers I work at a convention, prior to this we put stickers with participants names on a packet for everyone to pick up, someone had the last name Hackman, was difficult to not laugh a lil when I finally met him.
I actually met someone called Hackerman (I'm not sure if that was the actual spelling.) And there was also a scientist called Margherita Hack, which is a cool surname.
Actually I think both work depending on the type of coding one does. A smith tends to rework things, forming them into a finished product. A wright takes parts and fits them together into a finished product. At least that's my understanding of it. I can think of definite codesmiths and codewrights.
cryokin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being Mr.Robot would be awesome. However, being that mentally ill is very painful. Maybe being one of the other people on the team that brings down evil corp would be awesome.
0day1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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My_Twig ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:33:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
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3jt ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 22:21:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the smash hit "When Doves
cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory
Segmentation fault"
Phlum ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:31:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plus 'lp0 on fire', an exclusive remix of the Kings of Leon classic
gimpwiz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So ... #0000FF jeans (but only on fridays), IPAs and stouts, subarus, usually traffic-filled city highways being gloriously empty at 3am after a debug session, and hiking?
That was the most cringeworthy thing I've seen this month
gimpwiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to pop country.
There's good country, but this ain't it. It is, however, pretty popular.
I forgot to mention a dog, a woman that dun' run off, and the virtues of getting one's hands dirty to fish / hunt / repair cars (and how the city boys don't know how.)
This is the sort of country they're talking about when they call it "rap for people afraid of black people". Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, that's good country.
Edit: the quote is "They're just doing hip hop for people who are afraid of black people." - Steve Earle
meighty9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:04:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Richard, it's 'Linux', not 'GNU/Linux'. The most important contributions that the FSF made to Linux were the creation of the GPL and the GCC compiler. Those are fine and inspired products. GCC is a monumental achievement and has earned you, RMS, and the Free Software Foundation countless kudos and much appreciation.
Following are some reasons for you to mull over, including some already answered in your FAQ.
One guy, Linus Torvalds, used GCC to make his operating system (yes, Linux is an OS -- more on this later). He named it 'Linux' with a little help from his friends. Why doesn't he call it GNU/Linux? Because he wrote it, with more help from his friends, not you. You named your stuff, I named my stuff -- including the software I wrote using GCC -- and Linus named his stuff. The proper name is Linux because Linus Torvalds says so. Linus has spoken. Accept his authority. To do otherwise is to become a nag. You don't want to be known as a nag, do you?
(An operating system) != (a distribution). Linux is an operating system. By my definition, an operating system is that software which provides and limits access to hardware resources on a computer. That definition applies whereever you see Linux in use. However, Linux is usually distributed with a collection of utilities and applications to make it easily configurable as a desktop system, a server, a development box, or a graphics workstation, or whatever the user needs. In such a configuration, we have a Linux (based) distribution. Therein lies your strongest argument for the unwieldy title 'GNU/Linux' (when said bundled software is largely from the FSF). Go bug the distribution makers on that one. Take your beef to Red Hat, Mandrake, and Slackware. At least there you have an argument. Linux alone is an operating system that can be used in various applications without any GNU software whatsoever. Embedded applications come to mind as an obvious example.
Next, even if we limit the GNU/Linux title to the GNU-based Linux distributions, we run into another obvious problem. XFree86 may well be more important to a particular Linux installation than the sum of all the GNU contributions. More properly, shouldn't the distribution be called XFree86/Linux? Or, at a minimum, XFree86/GNU/Linux? Of course, it would be rather arbitrary to draw the line there when many other fine contributions go unlisted. Yes, I know you've heard this one before. Get used to it. You'll keep hearing it until you can cleanly counter it.
You seem to like the lines-of-code metric. There are many lines of GNU code in a typical Linux distribution. You seem to suggest that (more LOC) == (more important). However, I submit to you that raw LOC numbers do not directly correlate with importance. I would suggest that clock cycles spent on code is a better metric. For example, if my system spends 90% of its time executing XFree86 code, XFree86 is probably the single most important collection of code on my system. Even if I loaded ten times as many lines of useless bloatware on my system and I never excuted that bloatware, it certainly isn't more important code than XFree86. Obviously, this metric isn't perfect either, but LOC really, really sucks. Please refrain from using it ever again in supporting any argument.
Last, I'd like to point out that we Linux and GNU users shouldn't be fighting among ourselves over naming other people's software. But what the heck, I'm in a bad mood now. I think I'm feeling sufficiently obnoxious to make the point that GCC is so very famous and, yes, so very useful only because Linux was developed. In a show of proper respect and gratitude, shouldn't you and everyone refer to GCC as 'the Linux compiler'? Or at least, 'Linux GCC'? Seriously, where would your masterpiece be without Linux? Languishing with the HURD?
If there is a moral buried in this rant, maybe it is this:
Be grateful for your abilities and your incredible success and your considerable fame. Continue to use that success and fame for good, not evil. Also, be especially grateful for Linux' huge contribution to that success. You, RMS, the Free Software Foundation, and GNU software have reached their current high profiles largely on the back of Linux. You have changed the world. Now, go forth and don't be a nag.
Thanks for listening.
piggvar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Made a throwaway for this, but my last name is Coder, and I'm a CS major... i get the same joke every time i meet someone. Ill upload proof when I'm home
shtolik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a real couple somewhere out there who changed their married name to Pixel as they were both in graphic design careers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
literally everyone I know says coder. "They're a coder, they were coding, they code" but it just sounds weird to me. I'm the only person I know that says "programmer"
I want to give Reddit Gold, but I can't afford to, and Reddit Silver is supposed to be ironic, so I'm just gonna give you some !RedditBronze, if there's a bot for that.
There is a documented beginning to the switcheroo. This thread may not be a part of the main tree anymore, but I would be surprised if there aren't still routes that work.
Some guy got sick of the overused joke, and found 4-5 instances of it. He made a post about his annoyance, then started the chain, ending it on his post. Since then people have been adding to it, took me over a week to reach the bottom when I was new here about 2 years ago, just left the tab open and would click through fron time to time a few times a day.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like the taste of about half of them and they're obnoxious to hold sometimes. Condiments and toppings make it even harder to hold them. These days I enjoy corn dogs more than most hot dogs, despite corn dogs being even more of a joke.
Not if you split the small seam between the two halves, I've had them regularly rip apart on me, so two separate pieces of bread, also a hotdog doesn't have to be eaten on a hotdog roll, it's just American tradition. I've eaten a hotdog bisected longways with cheese on two pieces of bread before when I didn't have any hotdog rolls.
I mean, a Hotdog is a kind of similar to sandwich food, but you sure as fuck don't think of a hotdog if you were to ask somebody for a sandwich, you'd be rightfully confused and annoyed.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sandwich is meat/cheese/and/or condiments mashed between two sides of bread. Which fits the criteria. So yes I do say a hotdog is a sandwich. But I doubt id be upset if I asked for a sandwich and someone made me a chilli dog.
re_nub ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:23:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say a taco is less like a sandwich than a hotdog because at least a hotdog uses soft bread, a taco uses a corn shell which is more akin to a cracker, the only exceptions would be a soft taco/burrito.
Bee040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A taco needs a tortilla.
re_nub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sandwich uses two pieces of bread, a taco uses one. Therefore a hotdog is more like a taco than a sandwich.
Those all refer refer to specific things (although you could argue that hotdogs and burritos are the closest since they're both a form of a sandwich), where as 'sandwich' is a general term for something with two pieces of bread with meat, cheese and other things in between, and 'pasta' is a general term for "any of various flour-and-egg food preparations of Italian origin, made of thin, unleavened dough and produced in a variety of forms, usually served with a sauce and sometimes stuffed."
Burrito: "a Mexican dish consisting of a tortilla rolled around a filling, typically of beans or ground or shredded beef."
Crepe: "a thin, light, delicate pancake."
Hot Dog: "a sandwich consisting of a frankfurter in a split roll, usually eaten with mustard, sauerkraut, or relish."
I would define a sandwich as the pieces of bread being parallel, where as with a hotdog it's usually one piece folded at some angle. I also understand that sometimes hoagies have a similar bun shape as a hot dog, but that's completely up to whoever makes the hoagie.
I've totally eaten a hotdog that was bisected long ways, with slices of cheese on it on slices of bread when we didn't have any hotdog rolls. There's your "typical" sandwich.
IMO all hoagies are on a long roll, otherwise they're not a hoagie and just a sandwich because that specifically refers to the roll since it's an alternate name for a sub aka a submarine sandwich which refers to the roll being the same shape as a submarine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to play the devils advocate, according to foodsafety.gov you can eat cold hotdogs since they're already pre-cooked, they just don't taste nearly as good cold and there is an increased chance of food born illness.
"Is it safe to eat hot dogs right out of the package (unheated)?
Although hot dogs are fully cooked, those at increased risk for foodborne illness, such as pregnant women, should reheat hot dogs and luncheon meat until steaming hot before eating, due to the threat of listeriosis."
No joke, there was a court case disputing a contract, and the whole case turned on whether or not a burrito was a sandwich. There's legal precedent out there saying a burrito is not a sandwich.
It sounds like something the dad from the original comment would say.
RutCry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those cheaters are trying to avoid the issue by calling them "handhelds". I bet the marketing doofus who came up with that wears bow ties to the office.
Athrenax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nvsbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not to me. my favorite meme is 'smiling', followed shortly by 'raised eyebrows at the sight of something inexplicable' and 'smooth transition out of being denied a high-five'
According to the definition, I would say they are:
"an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation. Such as a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users."
and I better not see your ass here again. Next time I'll go through your post history, deduce your phobias and fears and will make your life a living hell
Just fuck out now
smbkr ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 22:56:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bee Movie exists and it already came out in 2007.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:57:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shrek.
Z0di ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:54:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a "shrek enhanced" version of the shrek movie.
It was hilarious. It had a bunch of edited in references and pop culture.
I want to find it again, but it's lost to the internet.
closest we have for now are the Star Wars prequels. /r/prequelmemes has left no single frame untouched
kf2k ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone re-cut the movies with the original audio using only prequelmemes as frames? Some parts might have higher or lower framerates depending on popularity? Could be cool to see.
MonaganX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't think of a better man to play the character that you wouldn't want your daughter to date. Actually, I'm not sure I'm comfortable thinking about anyone dating James Franco.
I feel like there was a larger part of the population that didn't quite understand what he was trying to do with his comedy, and more people misunderstood his humor. It's my understanding that his breakdown/crisis came from people who thought he was actually serious with his stuff like the black white supremacist.
It bothers me so fucking much that they call Anthony Weiner "wiener" and John Boehner "Bayner"
They're German names. Weiner is someone who makes Wein (translated: wine) and pronounced "Whiner". Boehner is a transliteration of Bรถhner which means bean farmer. And it's pronounced Boh-ner. There is no "รถ" in English but it sure as fuck isn't Bayner.
Oh shoot, I forgot about that, good point! So more like "Law, Lawson & Son, Attorneys at Law," which is just as fun to say and actually probably exists somewhere.
eriophora ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:36:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun to say, straight to the point, and catchy too! I would definitely go to Law, Lawson & Son, Attorneys at Law for all of my legal and law-related needs.
Other related names: Lawman, Legalson, Solicitor, Judge, Barrister, Counselson.
The -son suffix is for men who are the son of the name that comes before the suffix. For example, my dad's name is Glenn, so my last name would be Glennson. I don't think it wouldn't make sense to add it to an occupation, but I could be wrong.
I know someone whose father died quite a few years ago in an accident. Him and his brother legally changed their last name to Their dad's with son at the end.
what about jimmy bobbyson. nobody ever asks jimmy what he wants
Irlut ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:00:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where was this the tradition? I'm Scandinavian, and over here the tradition was that you use the father's name (since surnames weren't really a thing). Using your profession as a last name seems to be a German tradition that was imported here a couple of hundred years ago, so I'm a bit confused as to where the tradition you're describing existed.
They're wrong. That's never how it worked. True patronymic surnames always came from a father's first name, not from his last name.
The Dutch tradition was basically that everybody had two last names. One was their father's, one was a personal identifier:
John Williamson the Smith
When John had kids, their last names would be "Johnson", something like:
Peter Johnson the Carter
Anders Johnson on the Hill
William Johnson of Amsterdam
The second last name depended on the sons' circumstances. Some of the sons might keep "the Smith" name if they also happened to be blacksmiths, particularly if they continued to live in the same town as dad had.
The Scandinavian tradition was pretty much the same, although they often didn't bother with the second last name, and even when they did, it wasn't used much outside of legal documents or mortgages where you knew you needed to get the correct "Peter Johnson".
The English never really did this, but they would use non-permanent patronymic surnames sometimes. So "John the Smith" might have three sons:
George the White
James Johnson
Thomas of Oxford
Again, a son might "inherit" the name "Smith", but only if the son ended up being an actual blacksmith just like his dad, and particularly if he stayed in the same place his family was already known as "the Smiths".
In the late 1000s/early 1100s, after the Norman Invasion, the English and French both stopped using changeable surnames, and began using "fixed" surnames. So whoever was known as "Johnson" at that time was stuck with it forever. And likewise, new Dutch and Scandinavian immigrants who moved to England permanently would often "fix" their patronymic surname to be their last name for all time.
But generally, there was never a time when "John the Smith" or "John Smith" had a kid with the last name "Smithson". Their last name would be "Johnson".
Now, occasionally, there would end up a "Smithson" or something because the person's father was genuinely known as "Smith". Back in the day, it was traditional in much of Europe to name your first three sons after their two grandfathers and their father. Sometimes, the two grandfathers would have the same first name, so to get around this, one of the son's would be named after their mother's maiden name, i.e. their maternal grandfather's last name.
So if John Smith had a father named William, then John's first-born son would be "William Smith". But if his father-in-law was named William Carter, then they couldn't re-use "William", so they would call their second-born son "Carter Smith".
This was still happening in the 1700s. The American founding fathers Gouverneur Morris and DeWitt Clinton were given their first names because their mothers' maiden names were, respectively, Sarah Gouverneur and Mary DeWitt.
So when this kind of thing was done in patronymic countries like the Netherlands or Sweden, then you could sometimes end up with the new surnames like a "Smithson" or "Carterson" or whatever, because the person's father's first name actually was Smith or Carter. But it's not very common, and these kinds of odditiies often got dropped after a generation or two.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this! Great explanation.
Irlut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for writing this, even if most of it isn't news to me (being Swedish etc). The last part of your post about the creativeness (or lack thereof) of early Americans does expiration interesting and weird constructs like Smithson and the like. Again, thanks.
As a side note, we Swedes also have an interesting tradition of soldier's names, dating back to it 16th century. The basic idea is that since patronymic names were the standard and parents weren't all that inventive you may end up with multiple Karl Nilssons and whatnot in one unit. To differentiate them, some poor saps were renamed by the armed forces and got last names like Frisk (healthy), Dolk (dagger), or Sten (rock). This is of course not done these days, but the names still live on.
Interesting! My expertise on the subject stems from a background in New York history, and what you said aligns a lot with what happened there.
In the 1680s, the English government made all the Dutch and Scandinavian people living in the colony stop using patronymics. The rule was, if more than one family could claim a last name, then no family was allowed to use it. So nobody could use "Jansen" or "Petersen" since there were so many. Some could use their second last name, which is where all those "Van Buren" and "DeWitt" last names came from, but even those were very often duplicated, for the same reason you brought up, so sometimes the family was required to invent something entirely new.
If the family didn't cooperate, then the English government just assigned the family a new last name against their will, often an English word (professions and patron saints of professions were typically used), while other new names don't seem to have much reason behind the change at all.
Anyway, despite this, the Dutch and Scandinavians continued to use first names like they always had. So a guy named Peter who had three sons would likely have three grandsons named "Peter" after him. Under patronymics, this didn't matter much, since their last names would all be different: "Peter Jansen", "Peter Andersen", and "Peter Petersen", for example.
But with the change in the 1680s, by the mid-1700s, there were all these families running around with cousins who all had the same name, all around the same age, all living near each other: "Peter Smith", "Peter Smith", and "Peter Smith".
This became a problem when joining the military, because it made it difficult for the government to determine which Peter Smith in town was the one who had served and earned his pension.
So, to differentiate, the Dutch and Scandinavians started using patronymics as American-style "middle names". So there would be "Peter John Smith", "Peter Anders Smith", and "Peter Peter Smith", their middle names simply being their dad's name.
After the American Revolution, the Dutch and Scandinavian communities started to dwindle as these Americans intermarried with English speakers and spread out and began to move West.
But they retained the custom of giving children middle names. And this is largely why Americans traditionally have had middle names, while in the UK, children did not (well, not until recently). It's the Dutch, Scandinavian, as well as the German influence from early America that started the "middle name" custom in the United States.
It's interesting to hear that this forced name change wasn't exclusive to America!
Irlut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:40 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Occupational surnames exist pretty much everywhere.
Irlut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, in terms of being called "Bob Miller" etc.
I was thinking specifically in the form "Bob Millerson" etc. I haven't seen that type of name, so I was wondering if I'd missed something.
Those are all from first names (John, Harris, and Peter are all still fairly common first names), which is where those names come from. This was never done with surnames, since this was used instead of a surname.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I messed up. I thought this thread was stemmed from a different comment talking about how this was almost never done with surnames and was nearly exclusively from the fathers first name. Woops
Similarly, Analystson. Everyone is an analyst of this or that. Finance Analyst. Management Analyst. Research Analyst. Business Analyst. Data Analyst. Etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they's probably go by the firm, like the noble houses. "Jon von Bostongruppecon" or "Ahmen al Deloittecom"
AU - Astronomical Unit - A unit of measurement equal to 149.6 million kilometres, the mean distance from the centre of the earth to the centre of the sun.
INVICTU5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends from middle school's dad is a banker named Mr. Golden. I thought that was funny.
My middle school music teacher was a Mr. Bell, too.
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he happen to like the number 79?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:46:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In German that means "outch", i.e. what you say when you get hurt.
Bradaigh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:51:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same in English โ we spell it "ow" but it's the same sound either way!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That I knew. But wouldn't Au be pronounced differently? I'm having trouble with coming up with an English word with au in it. At least in "clause" and "pause" the pronunciation is different.
Yes. Au = Ow. Unless you're talking about the elemental symbol for gold, which you would pronounce A U.
Seyr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:45:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it make's you feel better, I'm a native speaker who initially read it like "Dr. Aw", and had to correct it to "Dr. Ow" for the joke to make sense.
Bradaigh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:21:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I suppose you're completely right in that regard. Still, my intuition as a native speaker would interpret 'Au' by itself to be like in 'haus' rather than like in 'pause'. I'm not 100% sure why that is. Maybe because we have "aw" to write the sound in 'pause', like in "Aw, isn't that baby cute!"
It may also be because it's a name? I'm not sure. Hmm, well in any case, thanks for pushing me to really think about it!
jama211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did as well, but I'm not sure why. I mean sure, words like Audi sound like that, but all the other au words I can think of are like, audit, audio, automobile, all have au in the other pronounciation... Weird!
Maybe we were pre-dispositioned by the joke?
Bradaigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh now there's an interesting thought... Yeah, you might be on to something.
The sound in "pause" would be written alone as "aw". So if an English speaker sees "au" they'll think it should be pronounced differently to "aw" and probably borrow the German pronunciation.
That was my reasoning anyway.
Bokonomy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:17:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some medical student friends of mine were telling me the best names of attendants they had come across, like Dr. Slaughter the surgeon and Dr. Love the cardiologist. There was a fairly sexual name for an OBGYN (or perhaps urologist?) as well, and I'm kicking myself for not remembering it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:13:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ffuentes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife had a surgeon named Dr. Money and the staff actually called him "doctor money" just like it's spelt. Whenever I mentioned him to family I'd call him "doctor mo-nay" so people wouldn't think I was joking or picking on the doctor.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a P.E. teacher named Mrs. Feet.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Chinese and I know that last name is pronounced ou as in how you would say "outside" without the t sound at the end. With a small mouth opening not huge like OUCH.
I was super confused and couldn't figure out why that's a good last name for trauma surgeon even after the other ouch comment.
Jason_OT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coming this summer a feature blockbuster unlike any other. When a (insert dept. Store) is robbed only an elderly man stands in the way... Gerald Casual-Teammember. Cuts to action. Gerald: I'm about to go full-time on your ass. This idea will be like a whole weeks entertainment to me. Thanks reddit.
KinneySL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Already exists in German (and Yiddish) as Kaufmann.
One of my best friends nickname is Sparky. Not because she is an electrician but because she managed to blind herself while welding twice in three months
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched this movie for the first time while on 2 tabs of acid and that scene really fucked with me. Thought I was in a loop but the movie kind of induced it.
Does anywhere but Iceland currently have -dottir surnames?
sp00nzhx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:22:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As legacy forms you can find it in continental Scandinavia; funnily, my maternal grandfather's family emigrated from Denmark and retained patronymy until they did so. (But then again, his family was from a small town on Mรธn where older traditions may have stuck around longer. Maybe his family was just weird.)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:49:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call that o with the slash through it?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
รธ
sounds like uuh
sp00nzhx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can call it an o-slash or slashed o if you'd like; languages that have it as a letter to characterize a phoneme (Norwegian, Danish, Faroese) call it "รธ", and it makes a sound kind of like the "i" in bird (or, if you're at all familiar with German it's the same as รถ, or ล in French).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I have a Latin background for Romance languages but have never studied the Germanic ones.
sp00nzhx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! I'm the opposite - my research usually focuses on Common Runic and the other North Germanics but I've never really touched on Latinate languages.
xwhy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:07:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the Doctordottir who played the Doctordottir married the Doctor, who became the son-in-law of the Doctor
Ah ok. But aren't surgeons these days doctors who've done a bit more again, like a consultant but even more specialised, if possible, so therefore can still be Dr. rather than Mister/Miss?
They're the equivalent of consultants in any other speciality, in terms of the level of training. They graduate medical school and become Dr, and then when they finish surgical training they go back to being Mr. If they were training in a medical specialty instead, they'd stay "Dr" the whole time
I have a friend who is planning on getting a PhD in nursing, and his brother is becoming an MD. They plan on opening a family practice with Doctor and Doctor LASTNAME
erevoz ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:37:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the surgeons locally is Whateverhislastnameis Jr. MD. He eventually got a new placard for his door, he got sick of people asking what a junior MD is. It's fun
Not even close to the same thing. PhDs generally train people to become scholars/researchers in their field. Your main focus is learning how to deal with literature and perhaps how you can produce your own papers in the future. MDs are strictly taught how to practice medicine. They will very rarely read a paper past its abstract and research will never even be mentioned in the core cirriculum.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, most of us will graduate with a few publications, but many of those publication credits are not earned through scholarly research. For example, two of my publications were earned for simply doing chart review and summarizing data for the PI. I had no part in the writing of the papers nor did I want to have a part in that. Schools will generally make it very easy for medical students to link up with researchers and get publication credit. Otherwise their students will not match well and it would look bad for the school.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:48:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a remotely comparable.
abutthole ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the detailed and helpful breakdown.
unionjunk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:06:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PhD in nursing is typically a research doctorate while the DNP (doctor of nursing practice) is the clinical based doctorate for nursing. It's mainly intended for advanced practice nurses who remain at the bedside like nurse practitioners, midwives, clinical nurse specialists, etc. With that being said, the DNP is a newer degree so there is still some crossover where PhDs are working as nurse practitioners, and non-clinical nurses are getting DNPs through online schools for leadership or education purposes.
Isn't it funny that medical doctors are the only ones you insist on their title like spoiled i narcissistic children?
I have a friend who has a PhD in physics and another PhD in mathematics. Everyone just calls him Steve.
It's funny because you have to be really bright to get phds in most fields. But to become a medical doctor you have to be kind of hard working and or kind of have money. My doctor for example is mildly retarded.
Grenyn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he were to get a PhD to become a medical doctor, he would usually be referred to as Doktor, MD.
So there shouldn't be a need to clarify he's not that kind of doctor if he gets a PhD in nursing.
RagingDB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phd is generally research focused. To be a medical doctor you need to get a Medical Doctor degree (MD). But you could also be a provider as a DO, DNP, PA, NP. But phd won't be practicing in a clinical setting without getting a different license and degree.
Grenyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admittedly I know very little about PhDs, but the point I wanted to make is that there's hardly ever a need to make a distinction between medical doctors and other types of doctor.
The distinction becomes very important when someone starts choking on a plane and the attendant asks if there's a doctor around
Grenyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a dentist, and someone asks for a doctor because someone is choking, you must be a real tosser to announce at that moment that you are a doctor but not "that kind" of doctor.
I don't think the distinction is needed in your example because of the implication of what kind of doctor is needed.
I know a guy whose last name is Nurse and he's a Doctor, so he's Dr. Nurse. Imagine how confusing that is on the ER ward. I can see a Police Squad sketch coming from this....
I knew a guy who was a pastor named Doktor. Pastor Doktor then went on to get a PhD and became Doctor Pastor Doktor.
melbbear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a doctor at my local clinic with the surname Nurse. Dr Nurse and Nurse Doktor should hook up and perhaps go on adventures and solve crimes together.
I knew a guy who was in the Navy, according to him there was a guy whose last name was Stain. And that guy was a seaman. So he was Seaman Stain. I never believe that story.
And I worked with a woman called Ms. Fucks. Correct spelling and all. Not and English speaking country, luckly for her. Although passport checks at airports must be fun.
qxrhg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school with a girl whose last name was Blows. Very unfortunate :(
Man....it was really messing with my mind for a minute. I thought I had something on my phone screen at first. Then I realized it was part of the font.
BillyQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an old show called Oddville MTV. It just had people with weird or quirky talents. Anyway, one of the guests was named Doctor Doctor Jr.. I have no proof of this, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
rdtrdr84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that show! Thanks for reminding me about it!
oarabbus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With that edit now you're Doxxterman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not related but my works cleaner is called Mr McLean.
I knew an Ocdt (officer cadet) Major, whose stated goal was to become Major Major... he wimped out one day and resigned from the OTC so nomnative imperative is not that powerful it seems.
There was a story that went around the British Army in WW2 that a recruit with the surname 'Parts' was promoted to corporal immediately, as no NCO wanted to shout 'Private Parts' on the parade ground.
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An old friend and I have been steadily building our own army of names for decades now, and I'm pleased to report that Private Parts has been with us since the beginning, along with Generals Anxiety and Malaise and Major Offense.
Jorakae ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Captain Obvious?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He went AWOL with Captain Morgan.
potatan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corporal Punishment?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used to believe in him, but studies have shown that he does more harm than good.
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Chaos reporting for duty.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are dismissed to work your daily magic, Officer!
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard of a guy with the last name Stains, he was in the Navy cadets. People would have to refer to him as Seaman Stains.
X-espia ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:19:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard of a guy with the last name Stains, he was in the Navy cadets. People would have to refer to him as Seaman Stains.
Army guy i knew, last name Bear. Army boot camp, they are all known as fuzzies.
Fuzzy bear had a lot of love.
Chubs1224 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had 2 Private Beavers in my unit one time. The newer one wandered off one time and his sgt had to walk around asking people if they had seen his private beaver.
There was a guy named Cox at my last unit. We had a fine board, so if you screwed up or whatever you had to pay a fine (usually chocolate biscuits or beer). He comes into work one day and sees 'Corporal Cox' written up, with 'having cock in his name'
Ironically... I am not sure I can even google the words "Private Parts" Without getting almost exclusively porn (along with random things that have nothing to do with what I googled) I MIGHT be able to get somewhere if I type "Pvt. Parts" though.
Edit: I did it... nope... just some weird porn with both searches. I don't know why I expected anything different. Now I feel like some middle schooler trying to look at boobs but not knowing how to actually look for them. Lol
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew an NCM with the name Major. Everyone's hoping that one gets sent through leadership training as fast as possible just so that we can have Sergeant Major.
Well he could have gone on to be a CSM then it would be command sergeant major Major.
Fraerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy whose father had been in the army and had reached the rank of major - making him Major Crack. His son signed up and went to Duntroon, but dropped out as he couldn't stand the teasing at being Private Crack.
We had a surname Major (Majoor in Dutch) in the Dutch RMA as well. In his third year he was Cadet-Sergeant Major. AFAIK he finished the acadamy, so the Dutch military might just have a Majoor Majoor in a couple years.
When my mom was in the Army (in the 70s) she processed payroll enquiries. She came across a man whose name was Sergeant Major, who was a Sergeant. Had to cause problems, because a Sergeant named Major and a Sergeant Major are two totally different things.
I'd become a professional bystander, so that when someone shouts "Is there a doctor here?" I could push my way through the crowd, saying "Let me through, I'm a Doctor!", only to arrive at the front where I would bystand in a professional capacity.
Now this may not work in English, but a school president is called a director here.
Our school's first director was a man by a surname Director.
Incidentally, he was also my husband's school's first director.
And several other schools across town, because he went around helping to establish schools after WWII, one after another.
He was probably the best director possible, since he was, first, a director named Director, and, second, re-invited over and over again to do the same.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, one of the orthopedic surgeons at my hospital is Dr. Doctor. I'd trust him with my life, honestly.
Fucking hell, I love this band but the only dudes I've ever heard even mention them are my dad and brother. Part of me started wondering if we were the only three people who knew they ever existed.
What day in June, they came by my area around that time and I saw them. Great show.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are a classic metal band and very well known in the European metal scene. Hell, Michael Schenker played guitar in UFO!
Sidaeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Originally, and while i'm more partial to the Maiden cover, it's ridiculously silly they open their Book Of Souls tour shows with their own cover playing over the PA...
On a side note, i misspelled "Bookof" the first time around and it corrected it to "Bookman" and so we get another surname... or Siriname.... oh shit, Siriman,
This is getting nuts
The British panel show Have I Got News For You did a solid minute of it - I remember it very clearly very years ago. Sadly I can't find any video evidence of it anywhere.
Ya know I do some fancy pitchin'. I get up to the mound and pitch it to home plate, the batter bunts it. Today picks up the ball and throws it to who, whoever gets him out and throws it to what, what throws it to I dunno. Triple play! Tomorrow's coming up to pitch and I don't give a damn!
Koras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How's your doctorate going?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:52:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And according to the season before that, his real name is Basil. At this point I think you we can safely assume that any time someone tells us the Doctor's name there's no way to know whether they're lying or not.
Still not sure how I feel about the 13th Doctor being female...not mysoginistically motivated or anything, I just hate when they make drastic changes to a show/movie's character like that. Prime examples are Idris Elba cast as Roland in The Dark Tower when King specifically says that Roland is a worn out white guy cowboy type with steel blue eyes (think Clint Eastwood)...so they cast a black guy with brown eyes. Another example is the remake of 'Annie' when she has been a little white kid with bright red hair for like 60 years and they get the bright idea to cast a her as a little black girl. This may sound like I don't like black people but those are the two most prominent examples of "why?! wtf were you thinking during casting?" A similar comparison would be like casting David Tennant as Kunta Kente in Roots
Eh. The story of Roots is racially motivated so changing the race of Kunta Kente would make no sense and also throw off the entire plot. Annie and Dark Tower are both fictional and can be whatever you want them to be, and race has little to do with it. Besides, if you discount stories that are specifically about race there are so few books which describe the main character as nonwhite, it's not a big deal to change them up. And it doesn't happen with just race - Barry Allen has blond hair in the comics but doesn't in the Flash show or upcoming movies, for example, but you don't see people complaining about that. As far as the Doctor being a woman, we already know that Timelords can change gender/sex when they regenerate (the Master, the Corsair who was briefly referenced by 11, etc.) By the 14th transformation it's statistically very odd if the Doctor isn't a woman at some point. (Especially since, unlike River, I believe it was mentioned somewhere that he was bad at concentrating and choosing new forms).
The story of Roots is racially motivated so changing the race of Kunta Kente would make no sense and also throw off the entire plot.
Yea it wasn't the best example and was the only drastic change that I could think of, you still got my point.
Annie and Dark Tower are both fictional and can be whatever you want them to be, and race has little to do with it.
It does have some bearing on the story, but it doesn't change it drastically like it would in Roots. It's one thing if the character's race is never mentioned or only mentioned in passing, but when these are defining qualities of the character, it just screws things up for no reason. Roland's "piercing blue Gunslinger's eyes" are mentioned numerous times throughout the 8 books and they're a defining quality of him, I would say more so than him being White. Barry Allen's hair isn't that important to the character, but why change it to black hair? Just for shits and giggles? It serves no purpose. My dad had the same complains about how SuperGirl is portrayed in the new TV vs the movies from the 80s which were true to the comics. These directors always take "artistic license" which is code for "I'm going to change things from the original story just for the hell of it just to see how many people I can piss off".
As far as the Doctor being a woman, we already know that Timelords can change gender/sex when they regenerate (the Master, the Corsair who was briefly referenced by 11, etc.) By the 14th transformation it's statistically very odd if the Doctor isn't a woman at some point. (Especially since, unlike River, I believe it was mentioned somewhere that he was bad at concentrating and choosing new forms).
I would say I'm less "upset" about The Doctor being a woman, than I am about "artistic licenses" being taken on other things because AFAIK there is nowhere that says "The Doctor must always be a man" (since as you stated The Master is now Missy ) or that The Doctor's 13th regeneration is male, so they're not really deviating from what was already set like they did in The Dark Tower, Annie or The Flash. It would be like if they decided to make The Hulk blue or Beast green, they are defining qualities of the character but they have little bearing on the character itself or their powers, but why change it? Deviating from movies/tv shows/comics what if someone portrayed Jesus as a black guy with an afro? I'm sure as hell a bunch of Christians would be pissed off even though it really has no bearing on who Jesus was.
Enough of my rant, essentially there's no reason to change things that are already set, but if there's not standard for it go ahead.
MasterLJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had surgery last year, doctor was Dr. Doctor.
I resisted the lame jokes I'm sure he's heard 1 million times during my consultation. But after surgery, I couldn't help asking him to "tell me the news". Was high AF on dilaudid.
US NPI registry shows we have many Dr. Doctors but just one Dr. Seuss. There is a CRNA Seuss though. Imagine that being the last thing they tell you before injecting the anesthetics ...
xternal7 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:12:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: the guy behind some e-toy app with a cat that just repeats everything you say with a higher pitch had his surname legally changed to 'Login'.
Not exactly "using today's profession", but close-ish. And no, I'm not kidding.
"My father's name was Dwight Assistanttotheregionalmanager. My grandfather's name was Dwight Assistanttotheregionalmanager. His father's name was Dwide Assisdanddodaregionalmanager. Amish."
Relevant Ladykracher: Lisa-Maria von Rautenberg Krรผmpelmann von Auchsschmidthansen zu Bachgaffsmรผhlen Jautstaudenhoff Gelecknicke Dingdong an der Bunzel
Bozhark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karl-Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Buhl-Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg exists, and there's a Wikipedia article about him.
Someone inserted a name as a joke, and it took a lot of research to find out what was true and what was false, because the false name made it into newspaper articles :-/
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.
Well, it's unarguably the more popular one (many would argue the better one but I'm not going to get into that), I've watched both but yeah, the U.K. one made the joke first. Sorry.
Dwight would just name himself Dwight Assistant Regional Manager, like back in the good old days before he had Jim Comanager and Michael Comanager as his supervisors. Plus with Pam around she's also Pam Comanager, so that is like 3 people above him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
rukasu83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that scene from Joe Dirt
Mr. Gaurd says: name and badge.
Mr. AttRM says: Joe Assistant Manager
Mr. Guard says: it's Assistant TO THE Regional manager, don't try to church it up son.
h2orat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secretary
eric685 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Dattentry lives next door to Miss Schedulecalls, who is not-so-secretly sleeping with Mister Reportome. His boss โ Mister Takethemoney โ has been courting Miss Lobby for several months, but she's in a relationship with Mister Careerliar. Of course, Mister and Missus Makeapps know all about this, because their good friend (Mister Makeyourinternetwork) has seen all of their correspondence... and besides, he keeps leaking snippets of it to his sister-in-law, Miss Tenthingsthatwillblowyourmind.
Meanwhile, Mister Flipburger and Miss Checkout have been talking about settling down and buying a dog, which they will name Instagramsubject McPooponthefloor.
Sure, but "Mister Leveltwodataentrytechnicianteportingtotheofficeofrecorsdsandaffairs" seemed just a touch long, and we'd never get anywhere if I wrote "Miss Assistantofficemanagerandcorrespondenceprocessingclerk."
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ris-Otto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the null hypothesis is that at least one programmer has gotten laid and you have not restricted your population to any specific type of programmer, then statistical programmers have already nullified your hypothesis that programmers don't get laid. The sheer amount of office babies at any given CRO being the soft endpoint.
The hard endpoint being self evident.
Best regards,
J. SASwright
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage!
norlin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not the same name!
Yours,
D. Javascriptson.
uniandme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fun fact, forbes was actually the name of an macedonian liberation fighter Sve Forbes (pronounced Forbes and of unclear linguistic origin). He fought in various insurgencies against the ottomans and is a natinoal hero today despite his failure after being rat out by a comrade during WW1, because the ration of potatos was low and the Ottoman district gave extra to collaborators.
B.C Forbes the founder of Forbes was childhood friends with his nephew Lete Forbes because Lete moved to his town in Scotland and then went with him to America after university.. The surname similarity of people from such different places astounded the teachers from the very first day at school and that's why they became friends. They resolved to name the news agency they planned to found after the dead heroic uncle who today has the Macedonian capital Skopje's main boulevard named after him.
The grammar and punctuation is so bad, I have a hard time parsing what they're trying to say.
Synux ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:49:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't pinpoint why, and I'm not judging either way, but I got two lines into your explanation and I went looking for something about WWE. That magnificent bastard /u/shittymorph is like a terrorist. Got me worried about him even when I have no reason to think he's around. If ISIS recruits his ass we're all doomed.
BitLion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
two lines? lol all it took for me were the words "fun fact" we're all victims here lmao
P2PGrief ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else expecting something about nineteen-ninety eight, Mankind, The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell, etc?
Yeah I know the real story behind it. Felt cheap, and his writing was only inspired by fear of not finishing before he dies (and it shows). I guess it's better than being ASoIaF reader.
Stephen King was slow at putting books out (not George R.R. Martin slow but still slow) and had a near death experience so it pushed him to finish his book series. He released the last 3 books of The Dark Tower series in 2003 and 2004, and it showed that he rushed them. But at least we got closure, sort of.
Edit: Also, in reference to him being in the book, uhh, well, he put himself in the book. In order to relay the story of why he's finishing the series, I guess.
They start popping in frequently in the later books.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see. I've been meaning to pick up the series again, maybe I'll check the library tomorrow.
I always feel slightly guilty reading a book that's not nonfiction or a "classic", which is silly.
The former mayor of la did this to become villaragosa. Then cheated on that site and think they're officially divorced. He didn't give part of her name back
I think it should be Memewright... like a playwright... a "smith" is someone who works with metal i.e. Blacksmith works with iron, Goldsmith works with gold etc.
If one of you Redditors in here will legally change your last name to Memesmith I will give you like thirty five dollars.
bkervick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wentworth Memesmith. Of the Connecticut Memesmiths.
Omny87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining some buff dwarf-looking dude hammering a red-hot piece of metal on an anvil, then dunking it in water, and as the steam clears he pulls it out to reveal a metal dickbutt.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Boston. I would like to point out that the only time I've ever heard someone speak with a Bostonian accent is when I was walking by some guy with sunglasses and a hat on the street.
It's Bawstin and Rhad Eyelin guy. I was drinkin my dunkin cahffee in mah cah in 4 owahs ah traffic just ta get a cahll from tha boss not ta bahtha goin in; wicked annoyin guy.
Source: From Bawstin.
Translation for foreigners: It is pronounced Boston and Rhode Island. I was drinking my Dunkin' Donuts coffee in my car while I was waiting in 4 hours of traffic, just to get a call from my boss that I was fired. It was bad.
Bokonomy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed the chance to say cawfee milk, and I'm a little disappointed you didn't say it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:58:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or go to the southcoast and we sound sorta like a mix of Boston and new York.
Do you live downtown or in one of the expensive suburbs? Get into the working-class neighborhoods and it's much more prevalent, especially in people over 40.
BobXCIV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually met more people in the suburbs speaking with Boston accents. But then again, I usually hang out in the metro areas of Boston.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never heard the mayor talk.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have your headphones in everywhere you go? When I would visit family up there, the T was always littered with cliches. Couldn't throw a rock anywhere downtown without hitting someone who talked like they were extras in the Departed or the Town.
Strangly enough the accent is not found much actually in Boston anymore, it's mostly in the surrounding towns, mostly in the poorer towns or among the townies in the middle income towns.
I was at a town fair in North East Connecticut today where a little boy who was working with his mom managing parking would bark to passersby, "Boddle o' watta, onlee wun dolla! Bag o' cookies, onlee three dollas!" I was amazed that the old yankee was so alive and well in the younger generation
finnhorse ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:22:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, the McStartups were a proud clan. At some point they married into the SocialMediaDirectors, though, and things began to go downhill from there..."
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Those animals. We're a 24-bit family, and if they don't understand that, you shouldn't be hanging out with them anyways. It's all about 16-bits for them, too 1996 for me."
unthused ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm presuming attractive ladies with nice boobs who make a living by posting photos of themselves to Instagram. Of which there appear to be quite a few.
Crownbear ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they do but when a thread isn't marked serious you're going to get all the low hanging fruit pickers because karma means more to them then contributing to the topic.
I don't really see how you could take this particular question on a serious path though.
It's just naming popular professions and adding common name suffixes to the end. Unless we get a comment section full of linguists it's never getting serious.
Actual last names can come from a variety of sources. Family profession is an obvious one, but there's also names that come from Nicknames, residential locations, and from a parent's name.
So we could have a Robert Gallowboob. Robbert Reddit (internet locations could count). Robbert O'Unidan. Etc.
teh_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert Memestar
Robert Knowsbetter
Robert Fancybeard
Robert Slimpants
Robert Foodgrapher
And his wife,
Jessica Instagram
Jessica Duckface
Jessica Fakeblond
Jessica Shallow
Jessica Selfiestick
Jessica Thumbup
It's raining today and I'm bored. Sorry for this post.
learath ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 21:33:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are tons of professional redditors. Maybe not that many in the US, and maybe not that many specialized to reddit alone, but viral marketing and 'brand protection' or whatever euphemism they use now is huge business.
I guess that a lot of social media managers are at least "part-time professional redditors" nowadays also. E.g. the representatives of gaming shops at /r/gamedeals
learath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I just wish it were a bit more above-board.
jama211 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're a professional redditor in the same way that I am a professional documentation reader because I happen to do it at my developer job.
Their profession is social media marketer or media manager or whatever, and mine is software developer.
learath ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you specialized in reddit?
RyanHowl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just general social media/brand work. No company would have a specified role as "redditor".
So yeah there's no such thing as a "professional redditor"
It's kinda arguing semantics, but I'm mostly with you.
That said, I wonder if any brand is big enough to have a member of their social media team devoted only to Reddit...
geodebug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally tons! Well maybe not tons but plenty or at least a few. But not what we think of as redditors, really, but people who do log into Reddit. So really almost none. Possibly zero but almost assuredly more than that. I think. Wait what was the question again?
Gallowboob is a professional redditor. He works for Buzzfeed so it's literally his job to trawl Reddit and find stuff. It also means he's very good at serial posting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go for the Russian Reddit shill conspiracy theory there's a whole bunch of people names Vladimir Redditor and Olga Redditora.
What the parent comment was trying to get at was the definition of "profession". Colloquially, the term "professional" (as you used it) applies broadly, albeit wrongly, to general paid employment.
Originally and by definition though, a "profession" refers to very specific types of work - like law and medicine. The distinguishing factor between a "profession" and mere "occupation" is that professions involve a long period of training and a formal qualification. They also usually involve ethics and codes of conduct.
The pyramid scheme that everyone's sister bought into with her mom's money, then realized after 3 months of trying to sell gimmicky "health products" exclusively to family members who felt obligated to purchase them to support her, that not only was this not a lucrative business opportunity to begin with, she had neither the drive nor the business sense to be successful with it at any level. So she quit It Works and went back to a college to try and finish her communications degree which was already five years in progress because it took her four years to decide on a major in the first place.
But no, it's not like her immediate family warned her multiple times that if she bought into this stupid scheme that it'd not only be a waste of time and other people's money (because obviously she can't fund her "business ventures" herself because the last time she had a job she was 16), it'd also make her look like a retard to everyone she knows. And nobody can bring this point up to her or else she'll throw a fit, like a four-year-old in the body of a 22-year-old.
Hope that helps. I like to think I have a pretty good idea of how "It Works!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just another weight loss scam. Instead of eating fewer calories (or burning more), you pay ridiculous prices for shakes/wraps/supplements to magic the pounds away.
I'm guessing you're British. In the U.S. we had a Mr. Dole as the Republican nominee for president.
Unfortunately we refer to public assistance as "welfare" or "unemployment," so no one was amused by my jokes about the nominee for the party of personal responsibility and limited government being Mr. Dole.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was shocked the first time I saw a doctor Google something.
Like, "Hey...i thought you'd know off the top of your head how much chocolate is lethal to a dog...you are a vet"
Calmecac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Calmecac McGoogler. Nice to meet you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Calmecac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My English is not good enough to distinguish accents. I can hear and undertand the difference between people from India, USA and England... but I can not go deeper.
I do not know if it is just a myth but I have heard that people in London are able to know in which part of the city you live because of the accent.
MikeKM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:48:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underwriter. My last name means that I analyze risk and guarantee to financially back someone and how they want to spend money, either through a loan or offering to insure them and make them whole in the event of a loss.
kish22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties
MikeKM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:57:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, if a building exceeds maximum capacity I'm going to call shenanigans. Especially if there isn't a sprinkler system.
Analyste. I see so many job titles these days with either analyst, manager or executive thrown in to make the role sound fancier than they actually are.
elruary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can totally see this being the new Smith of 3000AD.
Some kid in 4000 ad, why the hell is half the population name Redditor dad?
Well you see son, back in the 21'st century, in the dark ages where the population of the world barely had anything to do, they all flocked to this website called reddit...
john_boi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Archibald Dank-Memer, of the North shore Dank-Memers, pleased to make your acquaintance. Offers a bejeweled hand
tiltldr ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore
xedd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
Rugmuncher
Goatse
(For some reason I could see them all being friendly neighbors on a suburban Cul De Sac. :D "Yeah, the Goatse's are having a garage sale, along with the Rugmuncher's and the Fapper's. Check it out!" )
Does it change with your current profession? Does that mean teenagers would be John Studentson or Mary Scholar? What about people working two part-time jobs? Bill McDonald-Walmart?
I like to think Mr professional twice over - an analyst AND a therapist - might have started as a double-barrelled surname which was shortened to Analrapist over time. Honey, we should have the Analrapists over for dinner!
TexasDD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kafkadre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conway
GoOnKaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some would still be relevant, such as Taylor, Miner, Baker, etc. though they'd probably be less common. It also makes me wonder how the naming process would work for something like assistant chefs and things like that.
Some new ones would be pretty cool though. Sports would make things interesting. Would they be named based on the sport they play? The fact that they play a sport professionally in general? The position they play in the sport? Who knows man.
Rob1150 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
something like assistant chefs
Add the word "Sous" or "Under" before the noun.
reduxde ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:28:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Chaturbate, Mary Motherless, Peter Pirate-Bay, Yvonne Youtuber, Sammy Silkroads, Ethan E-Sport, Wally Warcraft, Polly Pornhub, Dave Shit-Poster, and Roger Memer
cxaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason "Smith" became such a popular name is because it was such a necessary profession that almost every town was likely to have one, but it was a skilled enough profession that most towns would have only one, making it noteworthy that this person was the Smith. With all the massive cities we have now, finding professions like that would be a bit harder. For example, calling someone "Coder" stops being helpful when all 50 people they work with are also coders as are all the 50 people in the building a few doors down.
This is off-topic, but I think Avon might not be the worse thing out there. This girl I know from high school is killing it at Avon. Maybe she is just lucky or something but she has won multiple cars in their sales contests and every month or two there is something on her Facebook regarding her successes there. Like I said, maybe she is a major outlier but she seems to be quite successful soing it.
piewife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have to agree with that--maybe be she is an outlier but out of all the MLMs out there, Avon is probably the most successful simply because it's one of the oldest and not everyone does it anymore. I feel like the market would be less saturated for Avon than for something like Lula Roe.
mcoca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I would guess Clerk --> Clark, Seller, Cash, and Cook all seem straightforward. With Nurse, Secretary, Waiter, Driver, and Manager, I'd have to guess. How about: Healthful, Scrubs,Florence, Nightingale, Aid, Sec (with multiple spellings), Server, Page, Waiter --> Ayer? ( I just said it a lot and let my words blur together) , Boss, Bossman --> Bosman, Corporate, Rig, Packer, Cabbie, Uber, Courier. But, also worker participation has been dropping slowly and steadily* , so possibly Bum and Beggar, too.
Stripper would be an interesting one. Though I don't think it sounds bad. I honestly kind of wish new last names were made (can you choose your child's last name)
A lot of them, yes. British Islanders and Northern Europeans didn't really care much about surnames until about a thousand years ago, and many adopted words based off of their professions to distinguish themselves among their local areas.
Thomas was a blacksmith- Thomas Smith.
Michael made pots- Michael Potter.
Anthony was a bill collector- Anthony Biller.
Many others simply adopted the names of their cities or towns, or took the first name of their father and added "son" to it (i.e., Johnson, Jackson, Erikson, etc.).
And that is how last names in the British Isles, Northwest/Central Europe, and Scandinavia came about.
bruteMax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
dyeeyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techenstein
Skizzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Labtech
Mr. Industrialtech
Mr. Lineoperator
Mr. Landscaper
Mrs. Publicrelations
Mrs. Accountant
Just a short list of people I know and their professions
MLaw2008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer. Pronounced Dezinyay
AmyXBlue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard for me to see current day professions as surnames in their current state, so I'm just run them through some level of corruption and pretend this will be cited in their respective Wikipedia etymology sections:
Sales man == Saylsman/Saylesman/Saylsmann (or some sort of variation)
Programmer/coder == Cohder/Cohdre
Cab driver/cabbie == Kabbie/Khabby
Lyft drivers == Lyfter (really, nothing fun out of that one, and couldn't think of anything with "Uber")
Redditor (cause ain't no way some of you are on here and not getting paid) == Rheditor/Snuvian
I really wanted to try and find something to fit my job - service desk technician - but I got nothing.
Norvigos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my mate is a dr.... of the nether region variety... says it "just happened" but I suspect there was some interest and planning...He has absolutely no Jewish heritage but I am 100% up for passing a law that his last name should become "Winkletoucher". Our generation and those that come after us should know what these people intend!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Ronald Fluffer. Nice to meet you." [extends hand]
zosaj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reginald Codesmith
joeld42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a book called "Jennifer Government" where everyone was assigned the surname of their employer. E.g. Robert Google, Tony McDonalds, etc..
"think it was something like Daenerys The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons"
"Oh yea that's it, bet she's happy she doesn't have to write all that on a job application"
In the novel, people take on the name of the company they work for as their last name. You literally have Violet ExxonMobil, John Nike, Jennifer Government.
Zasdfr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Networkson (IT dude)
Ron Powerman (electrician)
Bill Framer (rough in carpenter)
Ken Petrolson (Oil Field dude)
Carrie Receptionham (receptionist)
John Numberson (accountant)
Fred Luberson (Preventative Maintenance)
usmcawp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting story; my last name actually translates "plow-maker" or "plow-man". There is not much work now-a-days but OP's mom keeps us employed.
Read that as vette tech. Bitchin! Then realized and thought, yeah that's alot cooler...more pups
lilyth88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the pups
art8127 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Executive-Assistant.
"Your name is Steve Executive-Assistant?"
"Yeah, my family changed it from Secretary."
door21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Parsi community in India already have surnames like Doctor, Engineer and Artist. They use the suffix "wala" to mean something like "-person" or "-guy", so they have names like Bankwala and even Acidwala. The most extreme I've ever heard of is "Sodabottleopenerwala" (probably apocryphal)
MRDIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MuhBack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We would know who goes to Reddit because their last name would be Engineer.
rudyreif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Blogger
mitom2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"mr. Smombie, tell me about your family."
"back then, in the dark ages after Michael Jackson's death, my great-gerandfather was running around on the streets looking into his smartphone like a zombie, until he ran into my then-would-be great-grandmother doing the same. they were smartphone-zombies, so we got our family name."
"very interesting story. and why did your parents name you iSteve?"
ceterum censeo "unit libertatem" esse delendam.
Taftimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't some organizations funded on the basis of being professionally offended? BLM, Antifa, sociology departments, etc...
And are there not safe space coordinators? And if there aren't, when you organize safe spaces, doesn't someone need to organize what coloring books and pictures of puppies the adults need to cope after hearing ideas different from theirs?
As a side note, a lot of Indian people have English-language occupational surnames not found elsewhere: Captain, Contractor, Engineer, Doctor, Driver, Master, Merchant, Printer, Readymoney, Reporter, and the wonderful Screwvala, which means something like bottle-opener. These names are especially common among Parsi Zoroastrians.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ultra Xtreme Super BMX World Champion. It would be great in rollcall. Ultraxtremesuperbmxworldchampion, Michael
Yeah, and 200 years from now hipsters will be using these as first names for their kids. (Hunter, Cooper, Tanner, Chandler, Mason, Harper, Parker, Taylor... )
"Oh, the house on the left? That's owned by the camgirl family. It used to be owned by the methcooks but they moved when the father was arrested for drugs."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend who referred to his daughters boyfriend as free meal. He would never see the guy unless a free meal was involved, so he would just cut to the chase and say free meal when he wanted to invite him or ask him to help with something.
SirSwede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
easwaran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting group is the Parsis - they are Iranian Zoroastrians who moved to India at some point after Islam became established as the main religion in Iran. The Parsis didn't take last names until some time relatively recently, and they did so at a time when English was the dominant official language in Mumbai, so a lot of them have last names like Doctor, Engineer, Contractor, Readymoney, and Merchant (as in Ismail Merchant, behind Merchant Ivory pictures, which produced The English Patient).
I can't tell how much this next list is real, but a bit of googling suggests that there are in fact some Parsis out there named "Sodawaterbottleopenerwalla":
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underling, Temp, Hipster (It doesn't pay anything, but it is some people's profession nonetheless). Waitstaff, Server, Bandmember, (or perhaps "Inaband") Coder, Manager, Pizzaman, Busker, Programmer, Barrista---I could do this all day.
But uh, I just want to take this moment to say that companies that give special names to their employees' titles can fuck right off. I am a sandwich bitch at best, I am definitely NOT a sandwich """""artist""""". Same goes for you, Home Depot, with your overly professional "Store-Associate". I was a Stocker, not an "associate" ok? I don't even want to associate with that store.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't know. All I know is that my surname is Hunt and I'm shit with a bow and arrow. My wife, whose maiden name is Looker, is a fucking crack shot with a bow. I was pleasantly surprised.
As someone else said "Driver" would be very common. But outside of that...
Clerk, Actor, Gamer, Sever, Barraista, Redditor
Here is an example of how I imagine future conversations going
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Barraista. I'm Mr. Clerk, I'll be helping you with your bank loan today."
"Thank you, were very excited."
"I see you have a Mr. Server listed as a reference."
"Yes we worked together in college."
"And you listed a Mr. Redditor as well. How do you two know each other?"
"Well he was a friend of my father's. He, uhh, makes a crap load of dank memes and shit posts all day."
"I see. So he's an academic. Very good. Well your application seems to be in order. I just need to check with my supervisors; Ms. Fucksyouover and Mr. Comesfrommoney, and we should be able to get you saddled with crippling debt."
"Thank you! I'm looking forward to owning a home for a few years before you foreclose on me."
Klael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitch partners / streaming in general (both illicit and the gaming focused) are both excellent ways to make a living if you can acquire a following nowadays. So probably something like Mr. ReckfulsBaldSpot
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being from the medical profession, I imagine things would get very interesting: either there'd be a whole pile of John/Jane Doctors or we'd go down the rabbit hole of subspecialties like Jane Radonc, John Transplantsurgeon, Jane Pediatricotolaryngologist, John Nonoperativeorthopedics
With the way the economy is headed. I don't think the names will be very cool at all. All service jobs pretty soon . Travis checkout. Collin mid'management. Lisa nailtechy. Chet callcenter.
pmhesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of related. I'm black with a weird last name and I get my last name from my ancestors slave masters. White people always ask "Oh where is that from", I just smile and say "It's from the slave trade. Do you know where I can find them?"
Nah, I don't take it that seriously. I just find it weird when I have to tell them, I could lie and say it's a name with some great history, but its not. So I tell the truth.
OK6502 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd much more like to talk to that Catherine Cardiologist, to be honest. The human heart is a tad more fascinating than pressing water through ground coffee beans.
skyfox3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, builder, landlord... Idk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like an end user complaint? Maybe systems run their OS image from a PXE approach, and a reboot ensures you load the latest image on say your DOCSIS cable modem. My systems tend to reboot rarely, and in a planned fashion, thank you very much.
Late to the party, but keep in mind that not every profession became a surname, only the ones that people wanted to be known as. For example, Fletcher (arrowmaker) is a reasonably common name because making arrows is difficult, but Bowyer (bow maker) is not, because bows are significantly easier to produce.
I am Sir Point of Service at your service preared to serve... and service the account.
PS please do not refer to me as a POS because the related acronym is degrading
Curious that in the spanish region of Galicia, that goes on too.
For example my surname is Mariรฑo (pronounced Marinyoo ), and it literaly means Sailor.
Theres other examples like Ferreiro, that means Blacksmith,
Curious that in the spanish region of Galicia, that goes on too.
For example my surname is Mariรฑo (pronounced Marinyoo ), and it literaly means Sailor.
Theres other examples like Ferreiro, that means Blacksmith,
Off the top of my head: Cashier, analyst, sales, firefighter, cop, manager...
I don't know how well that would in today's society. It used to be that parents would teach the children the family trade. I imagine that's how the whole family got to be known as Smiths, Taylors, Fishers, etc.
Ryan Jobless
Bill Couchsurfer
Jill Outsourced
Tim Deadwood
Caesar MBAlies
Karen Pornstream
Mike Clickfraudster
Dan Downsizer
Larry Laidoff
Jarred Sandwichophile
You know when I once asked my dad how people even came up with last names, he explained it as "someone with the last name Miller might have owned a mill or Smith may have been a blacksmith"
He had no response when I asked about someone with the last name Dickinson
Went to school with a girl whose surname was Stripper... she was friends with a girl whose surname was Slapper... I feel like theyโd make a good movie duo.
Our food tech teacher was Miss Cook and the guy who ran the cafeteria was Mr Pickles...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be funny because doctors would all be "Dr. Doctor.
Hello I'm Dr. James Doctor MD.
Kidneys acting up? Don't worry I know a great specialist, Dr. Doctor in New York. He's excellent. Not to be confused with his cousin, Dr. Doctor the proctologist.
Swedish names are so much better, we have the "son" thing going, and my father makes commercials, so Iam a commercialsson, in Swedish reklamarson, what a time to be alive!
I_Am_BN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I built the bridge through which many fine wares come into this town with my own two hands.
They don't call me "Dan the Bridgebuilder."
I saved this town by designing and building the dam you see in town square! I give it maintenance EVERY day to ensure the safety of our people. They don't call me "Dan the Hero Dambuilder."
(Useless workplace IT) James ITmonkey. (Social media expert) Sarah Twitface. (Email scam asshole) Richard Sucker. (Socialite) Paris or say, Kim Suckedadickoncameraandnowimfamous
"Miss Pintrest! Stop interrupting the class! Show and tell will be later, you can show everyone your new skirt then."
Later, during show and tell...
"Miss Pintrest, keep your skirt down!" "Mr. PornHub! Put that camera away while Miss Pintrest has her skirt up!" (Mumbles to herself: "Oh, this was a bad idea...") "Mr. 4chan! Put back Mr. PornHub's camera. It's not yours, you didn't snap those pictures, and we all know it."
Coder
Admin
Uber
Lyft (Lyfte has a nice ring to it)
Sacker
Stocker (you can make jokes, i'm talking about the people who restock shelves at night)
Gopher (and I mean that as a programmer of Go, it's an in-joke thing)
Blogger
Vlogger?
Podcaster? (actually that does sound like a last name, doesn't it?)
Miner
of course the obvious Stark, Lannister, Targayrian, and whatever else you want for the GOT references
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bahaha I mentioned something similar in another thread recently, but I got sent out of class when a teacher was teaching us the origins of old english surnames.
Like how Mr Baker would have been a baker and Mr Tanner would have made leather products etc.
I asked whether Mr White was a racist and got my ass sent out of class.
"68th President of the United States, Phineas Fluffer was known for many things. Exciting genitals being the least of them. People had often speculated as to his rather unfortunate surname, but never in his presence or even within earshot." - excerpt from the Tony award winning musical, "President My President, A Nation Under Fire".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
MH420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using my grandpa's profession we would be the "Computationers" (he worked IT before IT was a field, back when computers took up entire rooms and used punch cards).
Johnathan Youtuber wanted his son to follow in his foot steps and inherit the family business...a YouTube prank channel that goes just a little too far.
The thing with this topic is that at face value, it seems interesting. But in reality it's not. Ultimately all OP is asking (even if that's not what people are answering), "What are commonly held jobs?"
What people are answering is "What jobs would make for funny last names?"
"I was just a small town girl, until I moved to the city. Now I don't know where my life is going. Tune in on TLC to watch me, Helen Lurmancher, in 'Rotting Away. Tonight at 9:00 (8:00 central)."
Instabasiqbish - A hot 20 year old who posts HDR photos of themselves hanging out at resorts and trying on makeup. Also lots of ass shots, but mostly in yoga pants/tights/bikini bottoms.
Vinophile - Members of the Jake Paul crew, particularly those captured when his shitball house is inevitably raided and found to be a hotspot for statutory rape.
Magachud - Descended from the Russian bots that only follow Donald Trump & retweet him constantly.
nil Memelord - Internet trogs who pretend to be cool & savvy operators but are really just nihilists who can't help but destroy everything they touch.
Valleyfart - Tech people who spend millions of dollars and years of time producing nothing of value. Most recently Peter Daou and his dumbass Verritt thing.
kenjiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty sure there would be a Pepe Fourchan in the graduating class of 2023
FrostyMJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like a slightly relevant story from the Bahamas? Several years ago, a young girl was starting school. Her name was Deona. Lovely, right? On asking where she got the name from, she explained her father was the Deputy Education Officer of North Andros.
Jimmy Itee says his dad is the best computer guy ever!
seeasea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Architect gets drinks with Jenny StructuralEngineer while Thomas CivilEngineer sulks in the corner with his just-friends Carol GeoTechnicalEngineer. Bob MEPEngineer has no friends
Ben shook his head. He'd been rejected, again, for a surname change application. All he wanted was a moment's peace: a time where he can introduce himself without that reaction - the disapproval with just a hint of revulsion. One can only take so much rejection.
So, for the fourth time, he trudged into the city offices and patiently waited for assistance. Knowing that, in order to make this change possible, he would have to again introduce himself and utter that hated surname: "Hi, I'm Ben Collections."
Gigibop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me say what an honor it is to be here at the groundbreaking ceremony for the Alfred P. Jizzmopper Hall of Anatomical Photography Studies. Now lets log in with our MuskVisors and watch as Dean Twerkings delivers the commencement tweet!"
aonair72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laborer, Garbageman, cableman, of course man is pronounced mun. Roofer. Landscaper. Policeman. Receptionist. Salesman. Flightattendant. Nerd. Gamer. (Kinda like that one)
Hmmmm... interesting. I just met a guy with your last name. Common first name, spelled unusually? No worries, don't know you,and not evil... but if you're him, we met recently and briefly, and he made a favorable impression as a decent human.
It's the year 2250, and Raj is sweating nervously right before his first job interview.
The interviewer arrives and takes a seat directly across from Raj, laying a resume across the wooden desk and adjusting his square-dimmed glasses.
"Your resume looks good. Prior experience, degree from a prestigious institute,..."
Raj nods carefully, surprised at how well the interview started.
"We just have one problem. Your last name. How do you pronounce it? I'd like to say your name properly before I hire you."
Raj develops the courage to speak. "Um. It's..."-he sighs-
"Randomimmigrantfromindiawhophishednaiveamericansbeforeforegoinghisevilwaysandsettlingdownintheitfield."
box77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
year 2517 marks the 500th anniversary of Tom Gaymer; inspiring gay rights activist and monumental gaming visionary, he will be missed and his achievements never forgotten
dayglo98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kayki7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass-wiper
YYCDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vivian Petpsychic was considered a laughing stock by many, but the sheep knew she was the one ray of hope that one day the truth of their plight would be known to all.
Jennifer Government did this, kind of, with with dystopian spin. Good book.
Like your last name was the company you worked for, or your school (the company that owned your school). So someone was "firstname Exxon-mobile" or "Sarah pepsi".
Her name was Clarissa Instamodel, and just like everyone else in her family, though she had no discernable talent, she made her money by posting bum pics on intagram with the caption #belfiesarebetterthanselfies
Edit: i cant spell...
Arci996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Staycation, Reblogger, Freeagent, Brackets, Activists, Community-Organizer, Rehabilitated, Fastfood, Eleganza, Binary, "anything" with phobic at the end, Vegan, Corporate-Raider, Revisionist, and more but I need my Power Nap now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Sally Assistant is it? This is Bob Accountant from the Northern branch. Can you please transfer me through to Martha Fellatesballoonsforpervs? Thanks.
bossbeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Vaperson, Billy Dabsrigger, and Phil Hipstersmith are all unemployed.
r3dfox8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Trackrat signing in.
r3dfox8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Trackrat signing in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tickytacky could be fun. They were early adopters of tech 3 decades ago. Grafter would be the folks with old money from the late decades of last century. The Grifters saw themselves shoot up into the ruling class in the late naughts. The Yellers were always at odds with the Shouters from an old feud instigated by the Shamers and Blamersin the turn of the century.
The eponymous Martins followed in their shoes footsteps. Boot builders of a fairly garish but burly nature of their diaspora made them ham fisted at times.
Players e.g. The Trashy-Players were like a LeLolzer's love story gone full of love, life, and happiness and a boon the the worlds outreach towards the Heliopuase.
Vivian vlogger. Ben blogger. India influencer. Tammy tweeter. Gary gamer (middle name pro, or possibly lives in parent's basement). Harry hashtag. Gavin googleton. Peter podder. Rachel ruiner-of-all-meals-with-excessive-photos-of-both-the-food-and-herself (i don't know how she monetises it but she's always eating out).
I'd say that today people are less serious about naming (parents giving their kids GoT related names and so on) so we'd get a few weird ones but I'd guess most of them would just be phrases lifted from other languages because they sound nice
pkisb10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a phone store and we all had business cards made by the boss who made our name the same font as our position so it looked like all of us had the last name 'sales' customers were always asking if we were a family or something
In fairness, this could work. You wouldn't get a surname until you finished school.
"Hi I'm Mrs Teacher, my husband Mr Logistics, and our son Master Bruce Learnington.
Yeah my parents decided to just hyphenated their names. Oh, my middle name, "Dr"? That was my great grandfather's name, basically I got it to make grandma happy.
Saved comment #1
Saved comment #2
thermobollocks ยท 3408 points ยท Posted at 18:46:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Helpdesk
Retaylor
Farisr9k ยท 659 points ยท Posted at 23:32:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Supporterson
DanDierdorf ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:54:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard, (aka Dick) Support.
stephen01king ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:14:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Supportpersson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:01:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Managerialsciencesson? Your coffee is ready sir, and Mr Solicitormann is on line 1.
HaniiPuppy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:34:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Introducing the two boys who will run my clothes shop: Taylor, and his younger brother ... Retaylor.
arnedh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:44:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and cousins Hole-saylor, Goods-traylor
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:53:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I rather like Retaylor, sounds like a character from an RPG or something.
Wynter_born ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:28:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Tech, pleased to meet you.
Scarlette_Vixen ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:44:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taylor Retailer
zoki671 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:13:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taylor Retaylor
Re:Taylor
tag24601 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:43:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retaylor Swift
Djason_Unchaind ยท 8720 points ยท Posted at 21:47:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista?
Mutoid ยท 2577 points ยท Posted at 00:52:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Barista!
Foxyfox- ยท 1316 points ยท Posted at 02:29:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista bomb her
tapeworm1969 ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 03:30:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How big is Barista's dick?
CAboy_Bebop ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 05:16:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Venti?
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 05:20:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trenta. Not available for frappucinos.
likwidfuzion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:37:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Short. Perfect for cappuccinos.
SurprisedCarlos ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 03:28:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/R/SquaredCircle is leaking again
GyroGoddamnZeppeli ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 04:12:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The leaks never stop brother \m/
GAZAYOUTH93X ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 04:27:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those Paige leaks tho....
Jay_Train ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 08:14:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gettin all Rated R like ya boy Xavier Wooda
GAZAYOUTH93X ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:12:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Up up down down
MorphineBear ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:44:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That Haitch face though...
DrinkItInMan11 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 06:14:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Much love- HH
ComplacentCuriosity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:53:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this comment so much
KocksMcGiggles ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:51:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Batista Bomb
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 03:22:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I walk for miles inside this pit of bagels
K_Click_D ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 11:37:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahah love it (Maggle)
WALKINS24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:13:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITS JOHN O' CLOCK MOTHER F***ERS!
Milogoestothestore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:35:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish I could upvote you a thousand times.
Eins_Nico ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god
yukicola ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:49:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bluerista
Whats_Up4444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boortista
neo4reo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:57:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Icelandic
Miss Lavender Pornactressdottir
Mr. Bjรถrn Pornactresson (her brother)
Baristina Einarssondottir (*He-She)
Bit-Nebula Instagramodelsson (*identifies xyz-his-her-their self as --xyz one of the 2000+ genders available).
*Descended from the Old tumblr fortune. A prominent ancient virtue signalling banking family lineage.
Danish
Deeznuts Vloggersen
Nosun-dissummer Iamgoingtocrysen
Swedish
Mustafah Abullasonn
Johann-Ismael Muhammedasbjรถrn
Britta Feministerson
MattMakesPhotos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A porn actress is a woman and sson is a last name followed by the fathers name. Therefore the fathers first name would have to be porn actress which seems pretty unlikely...
neo4reo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:13:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The father was a transgender porn actress. Who had transitioned to male but kept the title as a first name since as a 'she' he had been famous ;) ..muahaha..I really thought this through :D
.i.e Klรกm leikkona Albรญna or in English "Porn Actress Albina". You say the whole thing like "A Pimp named Slickback" or "A tribe named Quest".
toshytalks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:00:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your wish is my command
Lord_Tacitus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:10:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was very good in Guardians of the Galaxy!
sable-king ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:55:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"HAHA! I HAVE FAMOUSLY TALL TURDS"
caomhnoir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista bomb!
wsteelerfan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jose Barista
thecrazysloth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:07:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the question mark:
Dave Barista?
[deleted] ยท 274 points ยท Posted at 03:01:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a thing in Armenian: Kahvejian. Means "coffee merchant" or just "coffee professional" of any sort. Here's a guy with that name. His name in English would be "George Barista" :)
thewritingtexan ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 07:48:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is "amulet maker" my family were skilled jewellers just outside of Constantinople before the Genocide
mmert138 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 10:59:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, in Turkey, there is a footballer with the surname "Kahveci" literally coffee maker :D
Flintblood ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 16:21:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is "Covfefe" a linguistic variant perhaps?
indianaken7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:52:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nice , we in Syria have the same kinda surname : Kahwaji which means : the guy in charge of coffee .
Folamh3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:44:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's so cool! Do you know if there's an equivalent name in Turkish?
Getirecek_Adam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:28:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kahveci would be Turkish for 'person who makes coffee'.
hendric_nhl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:05:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or George Coffeeman?
falco_peregrinus ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 02:34:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Coffee
bbrown44221 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Radar
"Everyone knows that I have coffee when I watch Radar!"
Ajinho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OF COURSE WE DO SIR
phranticsnr ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:09:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "Barrister".
dancesLikeaRetard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:58:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck is it really?
A_Deku_Stick ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:48:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hawk girl barista
555nick ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:42:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And all the kids names would be spelled wrong.
Steinwerks ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:54:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mister Barista to you buddy!
Djason_Unchaind ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:05:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mista Barista**
Steinwerks ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:07:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jarjar Barinksa?
getapuss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Baristo or Ms. Barista.
Steinwerks ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:50:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Italian. It doesn't work that way.
thedirtydusty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please, Mr. Barista was my father.
Eunitnoc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:53:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giovanni Barista
Jozarin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fulgencio Barista
SlcCorrado ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:56:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gary Barista
BundleBenes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But barista wouldn't be a barista. He'd be a wrestler.
toomuchcocacola ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I barely even know her!
devilslaughters ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:23:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mixologist has fallen out of favor.
Tabbune ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:27:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny thing is, my current homeroom teacher is actually named Barista. Ms. Barista.
AnotherSimpleton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hawk girl on arrowverse would dig it
TXDRMST ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:53:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Beangrinder
Link_the_Fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Throw a bit of a British accent on there. Bear-istah. I could get behind it.
DanjuroV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking guffaw
TheDovahofSkyrim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that how everyone pronounces the word?
vonlowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:52:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope- buh-wrista (south west england.) Bear-rista sounds too much like barrister hear
Manbearfish_hq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Ron Burgundy?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to think that Barista was a hipster way of saying Barrister.
Magicmath88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jose Barista! <bat flip>
AbdurRahman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bosta
PapaBray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually a really cool last name
Barlakopofai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Batista.
lurker_spine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:56:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lt. Angel Batista
Rfvbgt69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:40:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I 'ardly know 'er
PM_ME_AMAZON_VOUCHER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I barely knew her...
123td1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a few friends whose last names are Bautista, which is probably the closest
Alex_801 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:45:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bautista actually means Baptist in Spanish.
123td1234 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. I never knew what it meant, but I always thought it sounded like Barista
[deleted] ยท 5255 points ยท Posted at 18:10:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
skootchtheclock ยท 1383 points ยท Posted at 21:19:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Divewelder, for the underwater welders. Basically all the new industrial names would be cool. You got Driller, Grinder, Forklifter...
absurdlyinconvenient ยท 868 points ยท Posted at 21:55:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah divewelder would die out pretty quickly, just like divewelders do
Felonious_POTUS ยท 125 points ยท Posted at 22:10:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, most of them just leave the industry within 12 months because life sucks if you work offshore, and it's incredibly difficult to get your foot in the door with a union doing inland/coastal work. And even when you get in with the union it's incredibly difficult to find steady work.
Source: Graduated from commercial diving school in July 2015. Went back to school to get a degree in business administration in fall 2016. Of my graduating class of 25, 2 are actively employed as commercial divers and 2 or 3 pick up jobs intermittently between more steady work as welders or equipment operators
Captain_Nipples ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:18:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The power plants around here are pretty good jobs. If you're a good hand, you can find a permanent spot on a base crew and get crazy overtime when it comes around.
The way most people get in are showing up for outages and the better hands can stay on full time if they want.
A lot of guys like hop around and work 6 months/yr though.
Or, you can look into their maintenance jobs, put in for one, pass your tests, and be able to pass a pretty rough interview. But, those jobs really want some good experience.. Like 10,000 hours in a power plant
Felonious_POTUS ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:37:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got on with the Pile Drivers union in Boston after kicking around the gulf and lower east coast for a few months. But after 6 months of driving to job sites to talk to foremen all over New England I moved to Milwaukee and joined the union there. After 8 months of trying to land something I decided to go back to school.
Those dive schools pump out a new graduating class every week or two, the market is so saturated with new guys looking for work right now.
he_who_melts_the_rod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Guess I made the right choice to go with the pipeliners union. It's feast or famine too but I've got a decent enough name here I don't know if I would ever change.
PurpleStuffedWorm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:17:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dang, never thought I'd see another guy from Local 56 on here.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:45:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
RedKetchum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
peacemaker2007 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:09:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WWE?
SyntaxErr00r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UCC!?
ToeTacTic ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:01:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get paid good money I guess. How dangerous honestly is it from 1-10
Felonious_POTUS ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:17:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pay can be good. But if you work in the gulf you have to put in your time as a tender, and I have buddies doing that right now for just north of $12/hr. Divers in the gulf aren't getting paid to well either unless they're doing saturation diving.
When I was in Boston in the union divers got $68/hr and tenders were pulling $42. When I went to the union in Milwaukee everybody on the dive station made $54/he. But starting out in the union everyrhing is feast or famine until you develop a reputation and can land consistent full time work.
Underwater Welding is only dangerous if you, or the people on your dive station don't have proper training. It's a job with risks. But with attention to detail and proper training you can mitigate those risks.
That being said, I got shocked pretty good doing underwater burning in dive school. The student running my dive station left the electricity on between divers, and while I was setting up my equipment i turned my back to the ground (because the electricity was off, as far as I knew). I had a pretty good sized bruise going up my arm and onto my chest from that.
Edit: I can't give you a good 1-10 rating. Before diving I did a season as a wildland firefighter, and before that I spent 6 years as an army infantryman. So my ability to assess risk is pretty poor
_Huey ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:26:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not much to add but you sound like a badass motherfucker. (And not the ironic meme kind)
Felonious_POTUS ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I appreciate it, but not quite haha. When I was in the army my buddies and I used to joke about how average I was. Most people I meet would never guess I've had such a non-traditional life path. I like to make people laugh and am generally a kind person, so most people just assume I'm soft.
badon_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:15:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the perfect ninja assassin. Make it look like an accident. Then fake your own death. Not necessarily in that order.
RIPKENBEATSHISWIFE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in AIT right now for 12D, army diver. All our instructors say military is the way to go if you stay in the field. I believed them but I definitely see why they say it so often now.
Their big thing is safety, too, which is reassuring.
Felonious_POTUS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in Afghanistan I considered re-enlisting for 12D. Kind of wish I would have
RIPKENBEATSHISWIFE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not too far into it but as the military goes it seems like a really great opportunity.
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most badass guy in my first college's ROTC unit passed up Airborne School for Dive School. Definitely surprised some people.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:55:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah mate, its good. You're still alive.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a video on youtube of a crab walking on the seafloor being sucked into a small hole in a pipe dangerous.
zachsho ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:57:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Work in SE Alaska. Divers are always needed for something or another, with all the fishing vessels, personal/recreational docks, and other jobs
SyntaxErr00r ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:00:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like it would die out because we all make daughters.
Honestly, I've always thought that would be a hell of a study because while my data only covers a small percentage of the industry (maybe 50 -100 divers I know well enough to know their kids) the number of female as compared to male offspring is WAY off from 50/50.
SaintJackDaniels ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:22:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Submariners are the same way. Something about being underwater makes you shit out exclusively girls
SaltHallonet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the cause?
Force3vo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:32:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grindr would never procreate at all so that's that
EXTintoy ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 00:28:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk about Grinder tho
Procks1061 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:17:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia it'd be Drilla, Grinda & Forkie
Jozarin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually the first time I've been proud to be Australian
BlackfishBlues ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:17:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also Garbo.
btveron ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:31:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1000 years from now I'll have a descendant named Braelyin Warehousesupervisor
53XYB345T ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:08:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bender?
horse_and_buggy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:57:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Bender please insert girder.
PositiveAlcoholTaxis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:07:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There would be so many Forklifter's.
Edit: Also kids names for welders include MIG, TIG, Stick and Friction. Also arc, as a first name or middle name: shielded arc.
But if they change proffession does their surname change? Hello I'm Shielded Businessman.
Or Shielded Soldier. Shielded Customerassistant. Or for a male sex worker: Shielded Fuck.
I've gone too far with this.
BefWithAnF ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband & I would be Mr. Flyman & Ms. Siticher.
Moosebrawn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My fourth grade English teacher was a Mr. Diver!
stumpythetooth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One could say we're Heisters. Sounds better than Forklifter
detourne ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a crook's name, if you ask me.
AgentBlue14 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Hooker. Grinder Hooker.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We need to get Mr. Driller and Ms. Grinder together, they'll be bringing new tools into this world in no time!
_1st_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends worked in the sewers, Michael Shitshover, don't get me wrong, it is very catchy.
SweetYellowCorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forklifter --> Forkler
intentionally_vague ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Diveweld. Sounds good to me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more like porn names.
ReasonablyBadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uhm...
killroy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would end my families name if grinder was my thing.
SpunkAlarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forklifter should be the name of a dating app for obese people
fiodorson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tony Rodbuster.
SoGodDangTired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All I can think of now is the name Rod Grinder
downy_syndrome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fork you for putting lifter after it. It is John fork to you.
zxDanKwan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good news everybody! I've got a great idea for a new profession/name!
ZWQncyBkaWNr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Refurbisher.
KryptoniteDong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forklifter? I 'ardly know her...
dishsoapheart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Class, we have new student, joining us today. I'd like everybody to say hello to Tina Backhoerson."
Mariachi_Gang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a series of dating apps
Einkill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't all of these sex sites?
Twilord_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gabriel Grinder needs to happen.
anumati ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a job for a forklifter advertised with an unfortunate misspelling. They were trying to hire a frocklifter.
milku3459 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:22:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grinder sounds totally not-gay
Nixxen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Fieldservicetechnician doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.
justanotherkenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grinder would be a bit unfortunate for a last name..
astrogaijin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:18:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Forker sounds better than Forklifter.
ginganinja8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:05 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driller?! I hardly know her!
illustrios ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What makes you think grinder is cool
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:51:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
chupanibre25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk, the Max Welder I knew was one of the dumbest people I have met
Darkmetroidz ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:05:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost as cool as maximillian pegasus.
SEX_LIES_AUDIOTAPE ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:22:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's boyfriend would be Benjamin Jackhammer.
crazy_loop ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:17:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what's his job?
jakeperalta11 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:56:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um, Drilling his sister?
SEX_LIES_AUDIOTAPE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is a jackhammerer.
kazga ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:06:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welder sounds like it could be real name. But I guess by the time the job came around most people already had surnames
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:22:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The welders of olde were Smith's.
pds12345 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:44:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael underwaterbasketweaving
Politicallythrown ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:16:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of cool technical/blue collar jobs:
Jimmy Hvac Robert EngineMaker Thomas Lineman Ricky Pipelayer เฒ _เฒ
ernyc3777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welder? I hardly know her!
Natex338 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personally I like "The penetrator"... you know make sure that weld sticks.
herpderpedia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Max Power
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a maxamillian welder, by those standards. gonna assume they're the same person. good guy.
ThePinkestPigglet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:46:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If his first name is really Maximilian then his name is cool no matter what his surname is.
meeeghanp7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:25:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sister's fiance would be Lance Landscaper.
gretagogo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My son would have the same super cool name, too! Thanks for tomorrow mornings car ride to school conversation topic!
cspwannabe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen a street named Blackwelder.
cloud3321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, just don't go to their weddings. Not unless if you want your pregnant stomach stabbed, throat slit or head chopped off and sewn with a wolves' head
prima_diastema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Maaaaaax Weeeel-deeeer... he's the man with the name you'd loooove to toooouch..."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make my son be Maximillian Banker.
pianodude7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maximilian Rose. If anyone gets that reference, congrats. The sniggers are on me!
iTomWright ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends will be Maximilian debt (collector) but it sounds better without collector.
darwinuser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maximillian is the most kickass of names.
nizzbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Max Welder, like the underwear?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Max Welder sounds like the name of a space detective with a robotic arm. 10/10 would read the books about his adventures.
addison92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure he's not your boyfriend, seeing as you love him so much! JK, yeah cool name.
plazzie ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your sisters boyfriend? What are you, 12? Rofl.
Nevermind04 ยท 4332 points ยท Posted at 19:26:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Bornrich.
Zach-uh-ri-uh ยท 246 points ยท Posted at 23:30:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly sounds like a genuine name to me As a non native English speaker I wouldn't bat an eye at this name if I saw it irl
MC_Labs15 ยท 63 points ยท Posted at 00:02:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a native speaker, and I wouldn't either.
QueefChiefKeith ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 09:02:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds more German to me, pronounce the ch as a k
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 11:00:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Broken_Potatoe ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 11:28:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blame the Berliners for this heresy.
rapaxus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:45:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are thinking of the bavarians when they pronounce "Chemie" "Kemie".
ahiro46 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 11:54:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Berlin accent does this to many words with "ch", e.g. "Ick" instead of "Ich".
Source: Grandparents are originally from Berlin
ArmanDoesStuff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:25:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bornreich
Psychic42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:49:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Bornreich
Edit: shit missed it by an hour
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You get an up vote from me buddy
TheOneWhoReadsStuff ยท 1306 points ยท Posted at 23:32:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Poornfukt
xenoterranos ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 02:58:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of the Houston Poornfukts? Quite an old family.
WillElMagnifico ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 03:21:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No the Chippewa Falls Pornfukts
fmxexo ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:25:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not related to Peter Pornfukt
DizzyNarwhal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:42:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Handtomouth
KingJamesOnly ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:16:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan Peasant
DizzyNarwhal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry Hobo
James955i ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:37:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a porn name
Robo_Satan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:36:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RIP Paul, fukt by poorn.
nizzbot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:11:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Dockingbay
burnrobe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:18:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Issac hunt.
pot88888888s ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 23:36:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathon Heir isn't a bad one either. It'll be funny/sad if his brother was named Nathan Spare so you could play with the "The Heir and The Spare" phrase, but that wouldn't make sense since they would be from the same father and probably inherit his name.
Otto_Scratchansniff ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:50:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mommy Heir was messing with Mr. Spare down the cul de sac. It what led to the divorce.
ZackZeysto ยท 57 points ยท Posted at 22:17:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is Sir Van Bornrich for you.
WilliamofYellow ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:40:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why do people think "Sir" goes with last names? It doesn't. Sir John Smith would be Sir John, not Sir Smith.
Jetbooster ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:38:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His first name is Van
karmicviolence ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 05:28:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Van Van Bornrich
denfilade ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:43:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe his first name is Van.
Cmgeodude ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pfft, Craig Trustfund is a better ultimate Frisbee player.
weasleyisourking42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAYYYYUUUM I like this
Fuck the Bornrich's
Ironicsoap ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:11:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles trustfund
mysticalscorpion ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:44:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Life aint fair
nauticanoah ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
silver spoon coon, hoe
mysticalscorpion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:11:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ain't nobody sicker, in my fisker vroom vroom hoe
nauticanoah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ain't nobody (fiskers don't make noise when they start up... just so you know)
422guysss ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:22:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ay childish gambino
mysticalscorpion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:10:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
homegirl drop it like it's NASDAQ
hpcross10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
life ain't fair.
WAM_Gaming_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a kid whose last name is Wellborn
evieeebeeee ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:31:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something easy trump joke
Wiggly_Muffin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:19:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something your parents gave you +100k for your liberal arts degree but you turned it into -200k
dong-copter ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:12:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Wellborn, which I was not. My mom labored for 42 hours before passing out and having a C-section. It should be HorrifyingAgonyBorn
arnedh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the wedding: Bornrich-Diespoor
Devium44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:29:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DavidDonald Bornrich.[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:56:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord & Lady Douchebag
ItsMikeAgain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:54:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aaron silverspoon
reggiestered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Todd Trustfunde
Hermaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a North European name to me if you pronounce it in German.
MtAlbertMassive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a prominent, wealthy family in New Zealand with the surname Richwhite. It's already happening!
Dayvihd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:37:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald*
RitsuFromDC- ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Bornrich
inksmudgedhands ยท 5998 points ยท Posted at 18:57:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I can't remember his last name. It was Mr.....Mr...ugh, it had to do something with space."
"Mr. Astronaut?"
"No, he was Russian."
"Oh, Mr. Cosmonaut."
"That's it."
fubo ยท 1489 points ยท Posted at 22:33:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the space-going branch of humanity in the Hyperion novels, one of the minor characters is named Mizenspesht, which is a worn-down form of the NASA title mission specialist.
Princess_King ยท 128 points ยท Posted at 00:52:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've had those books in my Amazon cart for months. Worth reading?
fubo ยท 65 points ยท Posted at 01:32:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The first two, definitely. The second two (written a few years later) are not my favorite thing ever, although they're not terrible.
dreamtofalligators ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:14:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rise of Endymion kind of is terrible, IMO
RetroRocket ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 05:23:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Space Tibettttttttttttttttt
It goes on and on and on and on
dreamtofalligators ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love is a fundamental physical force and Aenea is Space Jesus
HeDuXe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:24:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whaaaat the Endymion parts were great! They solved so many things that I was left wondering from the first two..
However I suggest people try the audiobook versions. They are maaaaagnificent!
TheTedinator ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:29:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait are you joking? I felt like they answered no questions I had from the first two.
HeDuXe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 06:31:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I guess we had different questions then.
I would gladly listen a few more stories from that universe..
RiverVanBlerk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you guys recommend any scifi novels in the vein of revelation space? I love the setting of the books and attention to realism but the dialogue is just... Ugh
KirtashMiau ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:51:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you love attention to realism and are looking for an "exploration of space" setting you might like The Expanse series, by James S. A. Corey.
I really liked Leviathan Wakes (one of my favorite books of the genre) but then the series turned more fi than sci and I dropped them.
RiverVanBlerk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've already watched the series so dunno if the books will grab me as i already know the plot. Cool setting though, mabey ill give it a go. Is the writing strong? Too many scifi books i try to get into are let down when it comes to the strength of the writing.
bwc6 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:33:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pandora's Star always reminded me of Revelation Space. Interstellar human civilization slowly uncovering ancient alien secrets. The second novel, Judas Unchained finishes up the story. There are further "Void" sequels, but they really aren't the same. They're more fantasy than sci-fi.
other_virginia_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very different from the first two, for sure.
armouredcasket ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 01:16:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're my favourite series of all time
daisyboots ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:58:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes and yes.
If you like robust (but not hard) sci-fi and can handle a relatively complex story line relayed in fairly rich (but very good) prose, you'll love it.
Mostly-Generic ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 03:28:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, definitely they are. The first two of the series are EPIC and extremely enjoyable.
The last two are more meh in their story telling. Lots of boring or sometimes nonsensical passages, but there is some interesting worldbuilding and it discusses a few sci-fi topics through interesting points of view.
fiodorson ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:31:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, there is a reason Hyperion is on many "100 best sci-fi books of all time" lists. It's good.
WontFixAutocorrect ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, yes, yes, and yes, in that order.
GryphonGuitar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:41:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the best book series ever written.
Talonn ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:35:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell. Yes.
TwatsThat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:01:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're probably going to want to temper your expectations after all those people telling you that they're the best books ever.
To give a different view point, I really liked the first book until the end which was really frustrating. And the second book shifted away from where the first ended which was even more frustrating.
As good as the first book was I have a hard time recommending it because of the ending and with everyone else saying books 3 and 4 aren't very good I would say you might want to skip the series and go for something else.
Princess_King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:34:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, if I start it, I'll want to finish the series, even if it's a slog. I did that with the Wheel of Time and it turned out to be worth it in the end. 6 through 10 were hard to get through. Thanks for the honest input!
bobboobles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must read them!
Artifex75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:17:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do it! They are amazing.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:38:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
read the fall of Hyperion. the others are kinda fizzled out. Endymion, and such. the fall is where its at. fam.
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:25:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
77 points 7 hours ago.
There they are. The three sevens again. And related to Hyperion, too. What happened ten years and two months ago the day after tomorrow, anyway?
InternetProp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:27:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A bit long and repetetive, he has done better work, but yes, definitely still with the read.
landolanplz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:57:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very simplistic writing. Rent one before buying.
KSonny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely.
is-that-a-thing-now ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:48:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the Culture series instead.
I found Hyperion to be a snooze fest.
Teantis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:54:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tried to get into Culture series. The amount of unexplained terms being thrown around right off the bat for about 200 pages of the first book put me off it.
is-that-a-thing-now ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:59:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Start with Player of Games. Easier to get into if you don't know the terms.
Teantis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait was Consider Phlebas not the first one?
is-that-a-thing-now ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is, but they aren't all directly connected.
Consider Phlebas threw me off at first because it is told from the point of view of the opposite side.
HeDuXe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey man I really enjoyed the Hyperion cantos and been listening to scifi books ever since. Ilium, olympos, everything from the same writer and lately other writers too, such as Ian Douglas - Star Carrier series.. Never heard of Culture though, is it similar?
Princess_King ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It starts with Consider Phlebas. Iain M Banks, iirc. I'll be honest, I've heard many ravings about how awesome it is, but I found it hard to get into. I still haven't gone past the first couple chapters and I've owned it for 4 years. I'll probably give it a go again, though, because sometimes books just hit me wrong the first time through. I would recommend Peter F Hamilton's Commonwealth Saga, though. I've read it a few time through and I very much enjoyed it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:50:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Princess_King ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:01:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe I'll try Player of Games first, and then try to read Consider Phlebas again. Perhaps it was too much being thrown into the middle of a bunch of terms that aren't explained? Normally, I like that sort of thing; the Commonwealth Saga is like that.
Asszem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:36:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would recommend reading both. From the Culture series you can start with Player of Games or even Use of Weapons. My personal favorite is Excession. But any of those will do.
courage_cowardly_god ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:09:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's my favorite too. Those ole' ships chattering and plotting, what could be more entertaining? The Minds are my favorite characters of the Culture series.
Masque-Obscura-Photo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I agree, but the other way around! :D Never even got halfway with the first Culture book, loved Hyperion!
SimplyShifty ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 11:47:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1's probably the best. #2 is good but not as good. #3 I listened to as an audiobook and loved it- difficult to compare with reading. #4 is the poorest but I enjoyed it. The ending wasn't magnificent but I was satisfied with the middle more upon reaching the end.
JarlOfPickles ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 04:29:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the kind of detail I want my novels to have.
BlackholeZ32 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:14:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh sounds right up my alley
TehSnowman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:01:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That kinda reminds me of the Outer Limits episode called Soldier. This future soldier guy ends up in a modern day city and gets captured, and he keeps repeating the phrase "Nims qarlo clobregnny prite arem aean teaan deao" which simply means "Name's Qarlo Clobregnny, Private RM AN TN DO" in his language which I guess is supposed to be just how the language evolved over hundreds of years.
jaredjeya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:17:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The book Seveneves, by Neal Stephenson (plot: humanity has to escape to space to avoid disaster on earth) has characters with names like "Esa" and "Ariane" - many of them are named after people, places and things in the "Epic" which is their record of the escape (for example, "Cantabrigia" since an important character was educated at Cambridge), much like many names today are from the bible - as well as other space-derived names like "Yur"
sprint_ska ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:21:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just read the chapter today in which that title is (first?) mentioned, and could not for the life of me figure out the genesis of it. Thanks!
fuzzypyrocat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:41:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold the door?
iGalaxy_ ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 02:22:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm borderlands? Y/N
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
iGalaxy_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 10:46:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok still might give em a look. Obviously to much time playing video games.
speaks_in_redundancy ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 23:01:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He would be Mr. Spaceman. Unless he was a Doctor.
throwtowardaccount ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:24:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Mrs Cosmonautova
TurrPhennirPhan ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:36:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For Russians wouldn't it be Mr. Cosmonautov and Ms. Cosmonautova?
robophile-ta ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:42:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of the patronym, which is based on the father's name. E.g. Ivanovich is 'son of Ivan' and Ivanovna is 'daughter of Ivan'. Russians do also have surnames though. The patronym replaces the middle name.
A_Disgruntled_Mule ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:41:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the guy you're replying to is correct, the patronym is different. Say the father is Yuri, it would be Yurevna for daughters and Yurievich for sons. Surnames do indeed change based on gender, though it does change based on the actual name.
Professions end with -ov, and thus change, while certain other surnames (rather rare in my experience) do not. A girl I dated was Kuznetsova (the Russian equivalent of Smith, a profession) while her brother was Kuznetsov. But on the contrary one of her friends was a girl with the last name Surin, which I believe is some kind of adjectival name.
t. several years of Russian schooling
robophile-ta ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the correction. Didn't know that!
kirillre4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to further confuse non-Russian speakers - "-ov" is not limited to professions. When it's forming last name, it will be used with names, too - Ivanov ("belongs to the family of Ivan"), Petrov and so on.
zagood ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This line of dialogue will appear in the pilot episode of Seinfeld 2.0.
skatmanjoe ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:45:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Mr. Skywalker if you prefer.
Grandmaster_Slam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Spaceman
Lev_Astov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:48:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would actually be really cool. I'd change my name to Cosmonaut if I earned that title.
Cosmonaut15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:07:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello
TheLadyBunBun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Ohio would have the greatest density of Astronauts compared to the rest of the US, because they couldn't escape like their ancestors did
njpatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
TakeItEasyPolicy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an Indian politician named Rajesh 'Pilot'. So the trend is already in place
HarbingerSe7en ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skywalker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:40:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Einstein?
inksmudgedhands ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. One Rock?
RafMarlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it wasn't Mr. Psychonaut ?
belverk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First (and only) mongolian cosmonaut literally named himself "Space".
alvaro811994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internaut?
conradfart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:39:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason, in my head, this sounded like Cheryl/Carol talking to Archer.
WeAreAllPolicemen ยท 6943 points ยท Posted at 19:57:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl.
Calmecac ยท 1226 points ยท Posted at 20:52:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Calmecac Camgirlson...
Edit: My top comment is about calling my dad a cam girl... we are Latinos... if my dad was a cam girl I hope he was like someone from /r/CelebsMx
timeslider ยท 159 points ยท Posted at 22:17:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cami McCamface
Calmecac ยท 88 points ยท Posted at 22:45:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camila Camgirlez
(It sounds amazing in Spanish)
sintaroactual ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 22:53:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So,
Camila Camgirlez Garcia Rodriguez Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perales Sanchez?
Calmecac ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:57:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camila Camgirlez Garcia Rodriguez Martinez Hernandez Lopez Gonzalez Perales Sanchez de Pรฉrez because she is married now
Weekndr ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was love at first $20/hr cam session.
zerbyderp ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:33:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
$20?! Multiply that by 10 and you've got the cost of a mid to lower-tier Eastern European performer. If you want her English-speaking and fairly attractive, multiply by 20.
Alex_801 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:48:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eastern European girls are gorgeous. I dunno what you're on mate.
LordGiantsbane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:33:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apparantly he's on a shitty cam site
AgentBlue14 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:05:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ja ja ja ja.
atombombbabyatombomb ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:18:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even Esteban would have trouble remembering all those names
RandomMassOfAtoms ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:15:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I get home in 5, imma try pronouncing it. Someone tell me if I did it correctly.
Syenite ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:35:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did it correctly.
Andrakisjl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:39:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You did it incorrectly
Jeis75 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:29:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camila Camgirlez Hackerdalgo Vloguirre de la Web - Callgirlzuela
Calmecac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eres un genio!!!
sintaroactual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:50:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boaty McBoatface
[deleted] ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 00:08:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PoisonMind ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:03:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirlsdottir
Lee1138 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 07:09:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My islandic is a bit rusty, but doesn't that implies HER father was a camgirl.
thegeek01 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:19:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the joke.
thegeek01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:20:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was kieeping it all together until this comment.
Calmecac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:46:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you assuming the gender of my father?! <- That's brilliant!!!
Edit: gender instead of sex... I am Latino as you may assume.
UHavinAGiggleTherM8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It doesn't work that way anymore though. People inherit their parents' surnames which typically are Persson, Johansson, Johansen, Pettersen etc.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:58:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vrts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why let your dreams be dreams?
jimbojones230 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:46:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My new go-to MMO character name.
Calmecac ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:48:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are welcome mate!
TricornerHat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:22:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prepare yourself for the dick pic delude and nude pic requests.
SuperSaiyanNoob ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait that's a dude who's dad was named Camgirl?
Calmecac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad has gone places.
68024 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:44:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So your mom is a camgirl?
Calmecac ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:47:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do not think so... maybe she was... but in the late 70's she used only Polaroids.
beardedtigger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kumonya Camgirlson
Calmecac ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:41:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are related to Anel Camgirlson or Anel Rodriguez?
More information about Anel Rodriguez in: /r/CelebsMx
Or here: https://www.reddit.com/r/CelebsMX/comments/346tuk/anel_rodriguez/
Ihatenewtoppostedits ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:10:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt
JillWohn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/nocontext
moak0 ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 22:35:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Three generations later:
"Wow, that applicant was fantastic. I say we hire her today!"
"I agree, but let's just Google her first. What was her name again?"
"Amber Camgirl."
"..."
"..."
IndieComic-Man ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:11:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well we have to hire her now just to justify this rabbit hole we've fallen down."
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:49:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ama Camgirl
Gigglecreams ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 23:41:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
While needlessly derogatory, Camwhorington has a nice ring to it.
Britni Camwhorington, the third
Throwaway-tan ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:04:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cammore.
Etmology: from Cam-Whore.
kyclef ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:15:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure it should just be Cammer, and that's actually a pretty normal-sounding last name.
savuporo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:56:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also InstagramFamous
AUGUST_BURNS_REDDIT ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:04:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny that the only way a child would inherit that name is if the woman became a single mother.
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:41:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternatively, Femaletwitchstreamer
kissmythong ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can get behind that!
Pavomuticus ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:11:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By that same token, Fluffer.
GoodguyGabe ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:05:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Ms. Camgirl, my name is Mr. Fapper. It's a pleasure to meet you!
chux4w ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:21:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cammy Camgirl.
IamPun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:05:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such a good gal, everbody likes her
barath_s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:27:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Camstar
boommicfucker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:56:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Fucksoncam
EasyMrB ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:08:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her poor children...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
skarphace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone took the wife's name. Wonder how bad the dad's job was.
iamwhoiamamiwhoami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Putzshounhaad
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duckface
HardTea ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:47:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my favorite.
[deleted] ยท 8845 points ยท Posted at 18:04:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
JakobKonijn ยท 3737 points ยท Posted at 19:03:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wait
edit: obligatory "thanks for gold"
Turukhan ยท 2467 points ยท Posted at 19:35:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wait" he says! Do i look like a waiter?
Th3Be4st ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 19:44:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wee hee hee!
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 21:17:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wee" he says! Do i look like a urologist?
gator-crater ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:11:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tee hee hee!
argonianord ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:13:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Tee" he says! Do I look like a golfist?
QuantumOfSilence ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:41:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOLFIST WHAT THE FUCK
Empty_Engie ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:47:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He must be talking about my favorite religion, Golfism.
papa_chrom ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:06:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could make a religion out of this
Liniis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:27:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't
Robo_Satan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:37:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, don't.
Please, I'm begging you, Reddit... DO NOT MAKE A RELIGION OUT OF GOLF...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baa ha ha
jimmythebass ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:02:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Baa" he says! Do I look like a sheep?
MarblesAreDelicious ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 22:12:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/unexpectedff6
rocketparrotlet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping that would be real...
squarefan80 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:45:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
beat me to it
MarblesAreDelicious ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:46:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
relevant username
sirgog ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:04:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Kefka
umaros ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:20:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son of a submariner!
Ginhyun ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:36:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHEM! There's SAND on my boots!
bigmac80 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:49:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you guys. Reddit is the family I need, but not the one I deserve.
Swing_lip ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:50:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Waiter
koeniz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And is son Waiterson
yinyang107 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:54:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived. I've seen a Kefka reference in the wild. Now I can die happy.
Turukhan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 10:19:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been throwing weird references around hoping that someone would eventually get them, i too can die happy now that it finally happened.
TheHeroHartmut ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:25:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate hate hate hate hate hate... hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE YOU!
FaultyUsernameCheck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Waits.
Haight_Is_Love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also, Waiter
noveltymoocher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot.
topspeeder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:29:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean, "Do I look like A Waiter?".
CUNT_ERADICATOR ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald's don't have waiters
coolguy420weed ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think McDonalds has waiters...
Logic_and_Memes ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:27:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
guys
mohamstahs ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:12:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i messed up
omally114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is actually waite... so, I guess it's a thing.
MailerDaemon452 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait guys I messed up
thelackofabettername ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you!
Phkn-Pharaoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:41 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you know me
timeslider ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 22:16:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've come full circle.
__Dead_Inside__ ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 21:21:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family doctor is dr. MacDonald, really close
OptimusPrimeTime ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 21:50:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How old is he? Does he have a farm?
MrDrTacoSandwich ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 03:18:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is MacDonald and your comment has triggered elementary school flashbacks
mcdoogle777 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is McDonal and I grew up on a farm.
OptimusPrimeTime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't lie. We know your last name is TacoSandwich!
MrDrTacoSandwich ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:22:29 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, ya caught me
__Dead_Inside__ ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:56:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He is around 40-55 years old, he lives in a city so i don't think he has a farm. https://www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings/77651/Dr-Steven-Macdonald-Brampton-ON.html
RainbowGoddamnDash ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:26:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he ever go E I E I O, when discussing test results?
PantAaroN ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:48:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, he usually says other letters in succession, like STD, or HIV, or OMG
FrabjousPhaneron ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just going to disregard the real response and give a rough estimate of "old enough" and answer your second question with "yes". He lives in an urban area to practice medicine but rents out a large plot of farmland he inherited from his grandfather MacDonald to a company that raises various livestock that make various noises such as "moo" and "oink".
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Partnership, they each allow their patents to continue going to the other
Kvothealar ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:25:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go to PEI Canada, about 30% of the population is Mac---- or Mc----. I had at least 2-3 people with the name McDonald or MacDonald in every class going though school.
One professor at the university's name is Ronald MacDonald.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Kvothealar ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:45:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As /u/onethreesixeight said, PEI is the official abbreviation for it and even Islanders just say PEI rather than Prince Edward Island.
It's like how ON stands for Ontario, BC for British Columbia, etc...
It's the little island in Atlantic Canada that I'd you rotate it slightly it looks like a Kangaroo. We have potatos, some of the world's best beaches, the world's best ice cream and cheese, and Anne of Green Gables.
Then for the other 10 months of the year we have a fuckton of snow and construction.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
throwmesomemore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's good because I think the terminology changed to BCE, "before
commoncurrent era"Edit: brainfart
onethreesixeight ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:43:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's short for Prince Edward Island and many people only pronounce the letters (pee ee eye).
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DontPromoteIgnorance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:44:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... they had roads before 1997. 1997 is when they built a bridge to connect the island.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:36:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
megerrolouise ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flipper
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:08:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
I_Am_Become_Dream ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:47:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing with Ibn\Bin in Arabic, like in Bin Laden or Bin Ali (Tunisian dictator before Arab Spring)
Taygr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:01:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subway
cjmook21 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:44:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Sandwichartist
QuantumCake ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:51:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Underpaid
jewstain7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. HumanitiesMajor
cjmook21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frycook
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
vxicepickxv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god.
DoctahZoidberg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:06:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a book already. Not bad, worth a read if you're tired of reading about totalitarian governments.
factotumjack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! It was startling to have to scroll this far to find a reference to Jennifer Government. Is it that obscure?
DoctahZoidberg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:18:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it's a bit out there. If they ever made the movie though man, we're ahead of the curve!
StefMcDuff ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:09:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually my last name.
As I told the kids in school- Yes, my grandparents own a farm. Yes, I have an Uncle Ronald.
Neither of these are true, at least on the Mcdonald side, but it shut kids up.
iHateReddit_srsly ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:20:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's brilliant, mate.
StefMcDuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's really only funny the first few times you hear it. Then you start picturing pelting with three day old McNuggets and wanting to cram their "E I E I O" where the sun don't shine.
It was just easier to deflate the jokes so they weren't funny anymore to the little a**holes.
I may still harbor some issues, evidently.
feb914 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:18:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just watched The Founder, it's very ironic that the founding brothers are completely cut off by Kroc and their original restaurant was barred from using McDonald's name and went out of business because of McDonald's franchise opened nearby.
Seriously, who wants to eat at Kroc's? Even Ray Kroc said so himself.
DontMagnifyAnts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And in that store he worked a fryer EIEIO
JPaulMora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Full circle!
MiNdOverLOADED23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grillman
elaerna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a doc named McDonald. He always said whiskey tango foxtrot and he was a real sweetheart.
Etheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barry Barista.
Lagggging ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something seems too real about this one
flapanther33781 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Filpper. As in burger flipper.
And Fryer for the guys working the deep fryer machines.
jive-miguel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:27:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael McDonald
PEEEEEEEG IT WILL COME BACK TO YOU
trichofobia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Old McDonald had a server farm...
ZombieRapperTheEpic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/GDFaEBjA7PU
uncle_Vernon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're gonna want to pop it on
M4DM1ND ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've met a few McDonalds in my day.
blairthedonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nonody calls me that anymore!
secretweeny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats not English
Jobby75B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Campbell
bobbechk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arnold Bergerflipper III
Apocalypse487x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said profession not business.
Blastguy ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The founder's last name WAS McDonald
DontHurtMeImJustADot ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:29:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke
StefMcDuff ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:11:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, the Kroc brothers started McDs and then sold out.
brynnee ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My fiancรฉ's last name is McDonald. But not in anyway connected to the fast food chain as far as I know....
elyisgreat ยท 1383 points ยท Posted at 19:48:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dev" for developer already sounds like a good family name. I could imagine there being a "John Dev" out there.
[deleted] ยท 369 points ยท Posted at 21:49:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an Indian name already: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dev_Patel
cmdtekvr ยท 523 points ยท Posted at 22:18:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could explain a lot about the popularity of indian developers
SuzQP ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 23:17:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Doing the Needful" is their family motto
skramzy ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:36:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Kindly doing the needful"
vyashole ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 10:28:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Source: Am in India. Dad writes like this.
hungryfoolish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:50:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
vyashole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:46 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't get your point. I never said any of these were wrong. They're just cute indianisms that old people use. :P
Prepone IS a word. It originated in India and got adopted by most of south Asia. Just like tiffin, batchmates, etc. it is a word that has it's roots here, but is not widely used because the west hasn't accepted it (yet). I can't think of a more appropriate antonym of postpone.
hungryfoolish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:43 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, I didn't imply that. I just wanted to provide more explanation/context to those.
-kljasd- ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:21:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And revert back?
simpl3t0n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:36:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if you prepone, you understand?
SuzQP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:04:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly
xRolox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:58:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Work with another major company's IT department... this is the end of every other email I get.
XombiePrwn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:49:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sorta want to see a coat of arms for this...
whooptheretis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/Dubai is leaking
JoXand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget reverting.
paging_doctor_who ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 03:43:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello I am Dev the Dev.
CBoy321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a dev named Joydev at my work. Why can't you have joy too?
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:03:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
popular is the last thing we are
evargrave ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:00:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a popular profession for unpopular people.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:53:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish that wasnt true
imdungrowinup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:50:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev literally means god.
HappyBot9000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:52:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of indie developers, silly goose.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that and the fact that there are more Indians than Europeans and North Americans combined
rav-prat-rav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:29:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds wrong but I don't know enough about etymology to dispute it
I_Am_Become_Dream ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:49:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced like Dave
notreallymegoaway ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:26:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, it's pronounced almost exactly like "they've".
AdityaRav ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:49:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with a hard D..oops!
elyisgreat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:43:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First name but not family name... unless it's a family name also and I just don't know
Doorknob_Goswami ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:51:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here you go.
skywardsword596 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it is also a family name
70astralaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I've seen friends who have a family name which is also a common first name. So it's probably true, but even I as an Indian don't know how our nomenclature works.
Arrogant_Anaconda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:59:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev means God.
RuggedPanther ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:23:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev means god in hindi.
angrymamapaws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You win this time, nominative determinism!
PsyMx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Devson sounds even better!
SheeEttin ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:37:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a family with the last name Dev already.
nonrelatedarticle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eamon de Valera, one of the leaders in the Irish war of independence, tends to be known colloquially as Dev.
TEG24601 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:57:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonny Dev.
itWedMiDuds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't it with a double v at the end?
TEG24601 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:32 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if making a Johnny Rebb joke.
helix19 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:47:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a common abbreviation for some Indian names.
naturesanomaly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:16:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have worked with a guy named John Dev. And he is a developer.
_jk_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:59:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
alternatively Codesmith, also middle same would have to be Null or `); DROP TABLE students;--
tekanet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:15:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Bobby Tables
ducomors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:25:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had the thought grammer being short for programmer
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:49:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddit sure does circlejerk developers and "coders" a lot. Almost half of the comments I've seen here have been them
WinEpic ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, cuz reddit is what we do when weโre bored at work, or waiting for our computers do something
gerusz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:27:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or while we're in a call / meeting that should have been an e-mail.
WinEpic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:33:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S C R U M
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:39:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a developer and no one does that where I work. I think people have a wrong idea about the amount of free time devs have. I do work for a large company though, so it's probably really different from a tech startup
WinEpic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a dev (work part time for a startup, so it's probably different) and there is much time spent compiling and waiting for unit tests. And also, if there's downtime that's too short to go back home, reddit happens.
Johnny_Walker_Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:34:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It used to be waiting for shit to compile, nowadays it's mostly waiting for integration tests to run. Our test suite takes like 25 mins to run, so ya, there is definitely a good amount of waiting around.
_CaptainObvious ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:43:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because a lot of people in IT browse Reddit at work.
Johnny_Walker_Red ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:35:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a developer and totally agree. Not that I mind all that much I suppose, but people on reddit love to jerkoff about developers, even though most of them aren't developers.
Also, IT is not anything close to being a developer, stop telling yourself that (not you, but all the people reading this).
ship0f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Devopson
dirtyhappythoughts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Generic programmer names 101: John Dev.
skincaregains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Coder would be a nice surname.
Autarch_Kade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deverly Json
majortung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naveen Fullstackwaala
Fliffs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who's name is Devereux. He goes by Dev.
HaiForPresident ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Devv?
Folamh3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's funny, one of the most famous Irish politicians was named Eamon deValera, often referred to as "Dev" for short.
weedexperts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or coder? John Coder?
TheSidewalkSlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:41:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I recently watched a stream featuring someone named Dev (first name). It's a struggle b/c she gets pinged in her workplace's Slack channel whenever someone uses the word dev.
periander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Codemonkey
justafanpassingby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev means God in Hindi.
ASUSundevil23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev is the name of aziz ansari character on his master of none
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 10449 points ยท Posted at 19:25:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Cummings so I know how my ancestor got his name.
Sl1pp3ryNinja ยท 7039 points ยท Posted at 21:53:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally every one of your direct male ancestors came in a woman, be more specific.
Beerblebrox ยท 2112 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it took OP's foredads a few tries and that's why it's plural.
flabbybumhole ยท 966 points ยท Posted at 23:36:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This name just originates from a one night stand and a misunderstanding. She lost contact with the father, but at least she knew his surname... right before he ejaculated he'd always introduce himself.
tangledupinbetween ยท 107 points ยท Posted at 00:31:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"oh god, I'm Cumming" "Hi, Cumming. I'm Sara"
gn0xious ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:19:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hhhnnnnggggg "whats hnnnnwhith the dahhaaaad joke?"
"You're going to be one!"
ReCursing ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:43:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Oglaf (NSFW)
rushmoran ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:20:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sara" is an unusual name for a dad.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:31:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they meant the "I'm Cumming" to be the dad and Sara to be a mom.
ihaveagianthead ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:51:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're trying to be funny.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:04:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoosh
dtlv5813 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:20:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I thought your name was "god"
Sleepmode2 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:28:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dont stop girl, I'm Cummings"
Curlysnail ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:57:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knock knock
"Come in!"
"That's Mr. Cummings to you"
spidikor ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:23:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just made my day
rollinirishboi ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:10:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So underrated
Reynico07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone give this man some gold!
Entelekey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Say hello to Mr Cummings"
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:45:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Captain_Stairs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:13:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or they were prostitutes.
EI_Doctoro ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:54:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were paid by the second, not the load.
MeateaW ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they couldn't decide who had fathered his foredad. So they just assumed everyone who tried did.
No clear male line to assign, therefore Cummings!
mouseahouse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:38:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that as fedoradads and the sentence still has the same meaning.
AbeLincolnsFreckles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought (s)he meant foreskin, but it doesn't really have the same meaning.
wamceachern ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No they drove a dodge
DilatedTeachers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"... And peel back the foredad -"
not_a_moogle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
he has 4 dads?
wildgeko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They just keep on cumming , like a tap ! All day long !!
damnatio_memoriae ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if there were four of them I'd expect it to be plural.
shugashanked ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP has four dads?!
francis2559 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, the second cumming.
SlaneDidNothingWrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The family curse.
superscatman91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/R_MHeHZ9d8Y?t=44
Nmvfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foredads. That's the skin around the tip, that improved his chance of Cummings, right?
justanotherkenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:29:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not all four of them are her biological father.
DoubleDexter64 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:08:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like that streak stops with me
neilarmsloth ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:11:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R E V O L U T I O N A R Y
E
V
O
L
U
T
I
O
N
A
R
Y
cloverstack ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:56:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how do you know it wasn't IVF
Sl1pp3ryNinja ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:57:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goes back one, maybe two generations maximum. In the timeframe it's very unlikely. Not impossible, but very unlikely. I like those odds, my previous comment stands.
RoadDoggFL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:14:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's some fucked up shit in human history. I wouldn't rule out
sinesome turkey baster action.heyyyyitsjimmybaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
women dating nba/nfl players will routinely scavenge their partners used condoms from the trash in a bid to get pregnant.
ElectricFleshlight ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commander_Spock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget IUIs.
Gackt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If op is over 50 then no.
Yeah im fun at parties
Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:13:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God damn, you don't have to rub it in.
I have to rub it though :(
Summerie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Today we are all Cummings.
fyrstorm180 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:30:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speak for yourself.
Prcrstntr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but sexual reproduction has only been around for what, a billion years?
kneelbeforegod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:42:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His ancestors did it in more than just women.
Heavy_Weapons_Guy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socks?
kneelbeforegod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definately including socks
khodor2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that gay
flathead_fisher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but one of his forefathers was in the receiving end
R_Philo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You deserve gold.
Zenkudai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well yeah, but the question was about professions so if I had to guess I'd say the Cummings family has been around for a long time.
elruary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn I bet my ancestors aren't as fun :/
Spartan1997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe he came near a woman and it got in somehow
TrepanationBy45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Millions of years ago, a couple somebodys created a line that led to me /scratches ass, puts another hot pocket in the micro
ssbmhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you don't know him. you don't know science bruh you don't have to cum to make a babeh. extract it from the testicular region and throw that shit on a girls tummy. roughly 6-13 months l8r you got a kid. check yo priv
OmicronNine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's it. That's the entirety of his family's accomplishments.
They had nothing else to name themselves after.
bosox82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John?!
politburrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:44:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unlike the lesser known Pullout family.
Nemam11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rather unusual achievement
Mr_Mayhem7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooohhh, I just thought they worked at Dodge
thedvorakian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's not give his gene pool too much credit. A few could have came around the outside.
spyfox321 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GG, now OP must change his name.
41D4N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, same!
Marigold16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those guys fucked!
motherisaclownwhore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly. They lived in their mom's before they were born then came out.
DoctorAbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Cummed
herbys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unless you were a test tube baby.
SgtGears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or his line of ancestors are all heavy duty diesel engines.
jceyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's necessary in order to become an ancestor
KairuByte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm hearing that all fathers are motherfuckers?...
canarchist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP should be happy it's plural, because that only takes once each.
mitom2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:13:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
must be the one, that was painted while doing it into the extravagnt hairstyle of the lady.
ceterum censeo "unit libertatem" esse delendam.
SenpaiSwanky ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:59:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh, there are a few options.
WinterWight ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:57:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't say that for sure. Especially nowadays.
Bolololol ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:13:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not if they're ivf
nomochahere ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:07:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you know?
WaitWhatting ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:12:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about artificial insemination and that guy boris becker
gizamo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Medical/scientific advancements make it possible to conceive children without sex or even male orgasm. Not my recommended method, but it's certainly doable.
Beau_Steven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has this been actually done yet? Iโm really curious
gizamo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indeed. It's referred to as testicular sperm extraction.
Example circa 2013: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/paraplegic-man-conceives-twin-girls-sperm-extraction/story?id=19023946
originalSpacePirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I call it a good time
Johnny_Walker_Red ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:42:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why the fuck would anyone ever do this?
Seriously, wtf kind of person would do this.
gizamo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:04:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paralysis + Desire for children = Nut needle.
ElBiscuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if I were paralyzed, I'd still have to think twice about somebody jabbing a needle in my sack.
CrystalElyse ยท 682 points ยท Posted at 23:38:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, a quick google gave me these:
So, your ancestor was "crooked" in some way most likely.
MrShekelstein17 ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 00:56:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His ancestors were bent over repeatedly for some reason.
I wonder why?
Trump_University ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:53:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh snap, OP's ancestors were scammers!
Topicalinformation ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 00:55:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you think they mean crooked as in thieving or as in off kilter?
username112358 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:02:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bad posture?
BlackfishBlues ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:14:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's a place name? Like maybe it originally referred to a nearby winding river for example.
Slinkys4every1 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:34:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How neat! I was just about to make a joke about how our relatives probably came from the same village or something with my last name being Bender and then you posted this.
recursion8 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:52:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your first name Rodriguez though?
Slinkys4every1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:01:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only!
https://youtu.be/pE0F2AgXVmU
MrSyaoranLi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or just had a bent bellend
peaphive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe they had one leg shorter than the other
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:26:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
username112358 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does that really mean bent dick then?
Millionairesguide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You son of a bitch. You're on my list.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Millionairesguide ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 06:00:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They learned the hard way.
staypuftmichelinman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bent dong choo choo.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crooked Cummings: Private Dick.
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be crooked if I was cumming that much
Emolgad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
nevenoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha congratulations on your Breton ancestors. Modern version in Brittany is "Le Cam"...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:58:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, you're ancestor wasn't literally cumming, he was just bent.
AgileWarmind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn name?
Glitter-and-paste ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:18:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once knew a Scot with a crooked dick. Bet that's it.
itsjustchad ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:15:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He worked on diesel engines?
G2geo94 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:55:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But were they from Cumming, GA?
TorazChryx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:14:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but that's where they're going!
wittymcusername ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:01:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, now I don't know if they're cumming or going.
TorazChryx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yes.
AcidRose27 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:59:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like telling people that we have a Dicks and a BJ's here in Cumming.
KeithCarter4897 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:29:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got you beat, mine is Adcock...
It's not just a name, it's a calling.
Sexymcsexalot ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We must be related.
Beerblebrox ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's what'll happen with these things
Dane_Gleessak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's not Dickinson
JackKahunaLaguna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Dickson i guess
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not the Goings I'm worried about.
nullpassword ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could be worse, could be Goering.
kaban-chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold on, were you my Comp Sci teacher?
poopf4rt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is ware. How did this happen?
11zaq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my last name too!! My dad keeps telling me it comes from "Ocomines" or something close, it's Scottish and we were in like for the throne, but John Comines was slain dishonorably by Robert the Bruce in a church.
Our while lineage was nearly destroyed afterwards, and now we are here today!
My grandfather likes to say "we're number two" is the true family motto.
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perserverance, or really just doing what us Cummings do.
RalphIsACat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sang your user name. I also secretly hope your name is Steven.
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:23:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it makes you happy then yes it is
RalphIsACat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does! ๐
Ferl74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet it runs in the family.
Kinkwhatyouthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked with a woman who's last name was Hooker. The origin story is exactly as it sounds.
splein23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew somebody with the last name of "Raper". Luckily it's roots have to do with making ropes. Not sure why they didn't go with Roper but who knows...
Grizzly_Berry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think about Dickinson.
sirtinykins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is similar to how the Dickinsons got theirs?
michelle01pd2019 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"E. E. Cumming on her face, now that's poetry in motion"
AsACompulsiveLiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a chap who sports the last name Dickinson, you really don't have it that bad.
IslandsOnTheCoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you, Joel?
LaVidaYokel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My childhood friend's last name was "Breedlove" and it always made me giggle.
kane91z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus we get it, your dad had sex...
peaphive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost same. No g
stavskirebel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my girlfriend's cousins last name, fun fact for you
rollingfunder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diesel engines?
Salochin94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So is mine!
I_can_pun_anything ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope you make love to someone with the surname goings
paleologus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it's not Dickinson
WetJupiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had "Cummings" a few generations back lol
Jakelopian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
K Meredith
EnclG4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still a viable career choice.
jcpearce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Creators of the early Diesel engine?
jmhimara ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Excuse me Mr. Cummings, but we're not satisfied with your product, and would like to return it"
"How dare you insult me like that?! I'm a professional, sir!"
It's safe to assume that's a conversation that happened at some point, right ?
apertureOG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lauren?
zieKen1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was a conversation we had in 9th grade history. One girls name was "Cook," another was "Barber." One very otherwise quiet boy raised his hand and said, "What about mine?" His name was LaCock. The entire class erupted. One of my favorite stories to tell.
pleachchapel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By being one of the greatest American poets?
justking14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly they belonged to the worlds oldest profession
EarthlyAwakening ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whose your favourite gem?
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For sure lapiz
PM_RULE_34_LAPIS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:36 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wise choice.
sneakernomics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A proud line of sperm donors.
dude_ihaveagf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Boonpflug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Related to Carrie Cummings? Big fan!
Imyselfandme8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a History teacher whose last name was Cummings.
barath_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still better than Camstar
Stepheedoos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bunch of gay male escorts,wirh beards on the side?
flightnox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my last name too! My nickname throughout high school was The Cumminator. Why couldn't I have been a Smith...
JoXand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:03:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So... Dana Cummings from The Accountant...
AWilsonFTM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey do you like the brand of Cider named after you?
jhorry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Horry chiming in. I have a diverse gentic history...
shinneui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a pastor with that name. I thought it was ironic.
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:30:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My birth last name is "Rhodes" So I guess my ancestors were... roads? THAT explains why that side of the family is so fucked up. Someone decided to fuck a travel way at some point. (All joking aside, I could ACTUALLY see someone in my family doing it. I would not be surprised one bit.) I do not know anything about my father's side other than the last name "Marks" Which I am assuming is a shortened version of "Marksman"
Yisexual ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:49:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the Netherlands surnames got introduced when Napoleon conquered the Netherlands and not all habitants took it seriously. After we regained control'the government decided to keep the surnames and the registration, so people ended up having surnames like "poepjes" (little poops) and "Scheetjes" (little farts).
imdungrowinup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:50:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your first name Pat?
AndyTheMandySmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:37:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
great diesel engines
NerfCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:39:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddamnit, people like you make everyone fuck up my name: Cummins. :( I've been telling people "there's no g" all my life
JavaRuby2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a Tractor engine?
ColeWeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:31:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He built engines?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pls tell me ur first name is dick
The_Crystal_Gem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wish, my real name is Richard /s
PixieBaronicsi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to know how I got called Dickinson
obobeyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like the motor? Cummings?
z4x0r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The_Crystal_Gem, huh? Cummings? JIM Cummings??
Hey everyone, I found Jim Cummings' Reddit account!
The Great Fusilli? The Ammu-Nation guy from GTA V? Every character in Disney ever? No one? Huh, guess it's just me who's a voice actor nerd.
OverLord000 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:29:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you mean to tell me your ancestor was the one who conquered Camealot?
jimflaigle ยท 912 points ยท Posted at 23:31:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced pornst-air.
UpvoteForPancakes ยท 52 points ยท Posted at 03:09:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Cumslutson, you have a call on line 3.
hieronymous-cowherd ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 03:23:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Mr. Fister your line 2 is still holding, shall I take a message?
tennistargaryen ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 13:01:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Fister Roboto to you
imtooyungtodie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's fisto roboto
PM_Me_Math_Songs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Fister is what we call doomfist.
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:13:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOOM COCK!
TekzDaJew ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:56:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can only read this in an Irish accent :L
ryzzie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:07 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright bucket woman.
ChayDaKidd ยท 7463 points ยท Posted at 17:51:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger. Maybe spelled like "Blahguer" or something.
HMCetc ยท 6289 points ยท Posted at 19:32:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "bouquet!"
EDIT: Wow! My first ever gold :D Thank you! I'm so happy there are so many hidden Keeping Up Appearances fans out there.
forbid89 ยท 653 points ยท Posted at 21:47:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Richard just wanted to hang out with Onslow and crush some brews
TheFire_Eagle ยท 353 points ยท Posted at 22:21:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Richard wanted to run a hose from his tailpipe and just fall asleep...
JohnnyCarsin ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 04:51:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(โข_โข)
... Early retirement ...
(โข_โข)
TheFire_Eagle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:05:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He'd be happy to come in in the afternoons...
Unless mornings would be better...
Mornings and afternoons?
BoogerSoup ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 03:16:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But really he just loved Hyacinth despite all her flaws.
psykulor ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 04:08:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the thing - on the rare occasion she's able to see past her weird obsession with propriety, she manages to be quite a decent person.
Thoth_the_5th_of_Tho ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:21:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wich is really saying something, 90% 0f the time she is a monster, hilarious, but a nightmare.
TheFire_Eagle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:57:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Richard was trapped, personally.
Perhaps her personality worsened over time. He was stuck in a cycle where his only escape from his horrendous wife and mooch son was work. Then he retired and all he could do was endure her full time.
What was his other option? Divorce her and end up bagging groceries to support two homes? Besides, we know the lady of the house has expensive tastes.
Richard is funny because we don't get a solid read on whether he's happy or whether he even still loves Hyacinth. We just know that he very seldom stands up to her, likely as a defense mechanism.
LTVOLT ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 10:34:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard seems miserable with her
Uuood7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:23 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't we all
cutdownthere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:45:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuaaark, never thought Id see the day when a hyacinth reference came to reddit comments
forbid89 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:13 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well you better keep up with appearances....
liselottes_finger ยท 755 points ยท Posted at 21:16:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lady of the house speaking.
making_mischief ยท 94 points ยท Posted at 23:53:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coffee in ten minutes, Elizabeth! Bring Emmet!
Biz2324 ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 00:25:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm dreadfully sorry Hyacinth.
liselottes_finger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:04:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sit wherever you like dear... Except there! I always like to face the window.
iamkimmyp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:02:39 on November 11, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear Emmet saying to Elizabeth - "No! I don't want to go over there! She'll sing at me. She always sings at me!"
hornplayer94 ยท 279 points ยท Posted at 23:02:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen my Royal Doulton china with the hand-painted periwinkles?
creativeinsanities ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 04:28:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must come to one of my candlelight suppers!
Aedronn ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 09:00:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Speaking of amusing names, I would love to meet Miss Periwinklespainter.
DracoCharky ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 22:36:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OH, SHERIDAN!
petrilstatusfull ยท 147 points ยท Posted at 22:43:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He does love his mummy!
phx-au ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:45:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And cock. He also likes cock.
Biz2324 ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 00:24:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much does he want this time?
dukeofnewyawk ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 01:40:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He just want to talk to his mummy.
You want how much dear?
So you and your friend Tarquin can go to a needlepoint convention?
morning_cheeseburger ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 02:45:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's moved in with a very suitable friend. They're making their own curtains. Apparently his friend's very good with a needle. He has prizes for embroidery.
PagingDoctorK ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:38:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gawd. One of my new coworkers is named "Sheridan". I have that sing-songy voice in my head ALL THE TIME and I can't let it out at him!
redditshy ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 03:50:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the COMMMMODORE!
fulthrottlejazzhands ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:23:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Sheridan. I'm not funding your and Tarquin's trip to Mombasa to study the boy rites of passage.
pepperonipodesta ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 22:03:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you may not order a number 14 with fried rice!
amack33 ยท 72 points ยท Posted at 00:08:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is NOT the Chinese takeaway!
dukeofnewyawk ยท 85 points ยท Posted at 01:44:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are connected to a private residence on a white, slimlined telephone with last-number redial facility.
cutdownthere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:45:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hyacinth bemused tele-phone face
pradeepkanchan ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 23:18:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for the cyclist Richard!
beldarin ยท 81 points ยท Posted at 23:25:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind the pedestrian.
vvolfpussy ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 23:31:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minding the pedestrian.
JohnnyCarsin ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 00:06:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's on the sidewalk.
On the other side of the road.
Behind the barrier...
Biz2324 ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:28:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
On a white porcelain telephone with call waiting and automatic redial.
ladyrockess ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:37:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always heard, "white slim-line telephone"...
Serialsuicider ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lady Bae Blogger, daughter bill Blogger, son of Jane Vlogger, bannerman of YouTube.
bakuretsu ยท 1128 points ยท Posted at 21:42:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm perpetually surprised at how many Keeping Up Appearances fans there are lurking around here just waiting to spring into action.
isitasexyfox ยท 292 points ยท Posted at 22:14:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's lovely to see. A big part of British upbringing that was, used to watch with my grandparents when I was younger.
bakuretsu ยท 269 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American, actually, but they used it play it on... Maybe Public Broadcasting Service, I think, when I was a youngster and my parents used to watch it.
thatguywhohadareddit ยท 90 points ยท Posted at 22:24:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here. Every time i'd catch it on PBS, I'd watch it. It was on netflix last I checked.
khrysophylax ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:41:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately, it was removed from Netflix here in the US earlier this year. They probably lost the rights to the license or something. :(
OtisCherokee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It still plays daily on PBS though I'm pretty sure in the afternoons
HaChans ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:41:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And late evenings! I saw an episode or two when I was in the US a week ago.
knot_tellin ยท 80 points ยท Posted at 23:59:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PBS represent! As well as "Are You Being Served", "Outnumbered", and, of course, "Red Green".
ANGLVD3TH ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:43:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We don'tdon't forget Fawlty Towers and As Time Goes By.
knot_tellin ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:48:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I DID forget Towers and never saw the other.
so_hologramic ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:33:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was one with Judi Dench, too. "As Time Goes By."
JohnnyCarsin ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:12:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which ones were "Are You Being Served," and "Outnumbered?"
Ruleb ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:47:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are You Being Served?" was the one in the 70s department store with the flaming menswear attendant and lots of 'pussy' jokes. "Outnumbered" is a more recent family comedy featuring the girl who was Princess Margaret in The King's Speech.
19Alexastias ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:48:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember outnumbered as having Hugh Dennis from mock the week on it. It was a pretty hilarious show. Wasnt a lot of it ad-libbed too?
knot_tellin ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:47:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are You Being Served" was the one in the department store with Mr. Humphreys, Mr. Granger, ,Captain Peacock, Young Mr, Grace, etc...and "Outnumbered" was the one about the parents with the precocious children.
blueeyesofthesiren ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:44:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Are You Being Served" is the one in the department store.
I've never seen "Outnumbered".
lavoixinconnue ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:24:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks to PBS, I got to see all those, Dr Who before it was trendy, and my favorite, Red Dwarf.
Arch27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:38:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also The Young Ones
knot_tellin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arrggh!!! I can't even BELIEVE I forgot about "Red Dwarf"!
lavoixinconnue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunately they never showed it in order so I was a bit confused, but thoroughly entertained! Trying to go back and watch them in order now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the books! I didn't particularly like the show, but the books are wonderful. After I finally read Hitchhiker's Guide and hated it I was recommended these as a condolence.
Surface_Detail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
record scratch
You what?! You didn't like HHGttG? Burn the heretic!
lavoixinconnue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:09:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually read and listened on audiobook to Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers; that was when I realized the way I had seen the episodes I had wasn't correct.
(I have to confess; I've never read Hitchhiker either. I've tried a few times too. shhhhhh. )
mamalovesyosocks ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:05:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Thin Blue Line with Rowan Atkinson was on PBS. Probably my favorite!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:31:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, I know all about racism, Sir. My mother prepared me for it."
"Ah, she explained to you the sad truth of irrational hatred."
"No, she beat me and called me names."
mamalovesyosocks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sex with a Martian sounds great to me!"
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:41:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"All the isms. Sexism, racism, homoeroticaphobiaism..."
RazmanR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:40:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Constable Goody!!!!!!
mamalovesyosocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:59:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man gets his Curly Wurly whipped and swiped too often!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:47:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Menswear.
explosive333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:35:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't forget allo allo. And my family!
JohnnyCarsin ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:11:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We watched it every Saturday night. There was a two-hour block of Britcoms from 8-10 (or 9-11?) each week that was always a lark.
The Bucket Lady, ThermoMan, this one about some dude who could go back in time to The Blitz and had a second life (I think it was called "The Long Kiss Goodnight?"), and of course a number of other ones I can't remember... Oh yeah, that one with Judy Dench that was actually almost more of a light drama...
...
M~E~M~O~R~I~E~S
[Redit: As has been pointed out by several commenters (THANKS CUTIES!), it was called "Goodnight Sweetheart," not "The Long Kiss Goodnight." I could never really get into that one, I didn't get it. But also, my mom is incredibly prudish, and since the protagonist had taken partners, she hated on that show vociferously. So, some of my lack of engagement with GS is probably picking up on her vitriol (I was young when it was on).
Also: punctuation.]
Martinblade ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:34:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"As time goes by" is the one with Judy Dench playing the mom. With the two younger women and the author from Kenya who met Judy as a nurse in a war. And Alistair the agent.
Thecna2 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:33:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodnight Sweetheart, after the 1931 song used as the title piece.
They made a special one-off show last year of it, with all the same actors, of Gary Sparrow returning to the modern day after 20years or so of being stuck in the past. It was surprisingly good.
VanshipNavi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:19:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodnight Sweetheart was the Blitz one, I loved watching that show. I guess they might have had different names in the US though.
WestCoastBestCoast01 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:35:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was on Netflix for a while and they just recently removed it :( that show is the epitome of British humor for me.
FizzyDragon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:19:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I used to get a PBS affiliate from Vermont where I lived (Montreal Quebec) and got my Britcom dose there. Red Dwarf was my favourite.
mstarrbrannigan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:42:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to watch it at my grandparent's house. It was hard to find something all the generations could agree on to watch, so PBS usually won out.
WaffleApartment ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:55:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They still do show it on my local PBS. I catch it sometimes.
ohnodingbat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:05:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's still on PBS once a week... at least here in NYC.
BunsOfAluminum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:28:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep! Saturday night Britcoms.
emmster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:36:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, PBS. Along with Monty Python's Flying Circus, old Doctor Who, and Are You Being Served?
Redhotlipstik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still does in the South every Saturday
Zyphyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here!
agirlnamedpeter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watched this, As Time Goes By, Waiting for God, and Last of the Summer Wine on PBS as a kid. Man, those were the days.
Sovdark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, PBS, one of the few shows that the entire family agreed on.
DylanRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched it with my grandparents as a kid. They had a DVD box set.
Blinkskij ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:16:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping up appearances aired for a really long time in Norway too. That show got around
ShotFromGuns ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:52:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an American who used to watch it with my grandparents. I suspect it may just be a Universal Grandparent Appreciation Show.
langlo94 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:07:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's shown every Christmas in Norway.
Ianuam ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:17:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm british, but spent six months in Bulgaria; it was on CONSTANTLY. Ditto in many other central and eastern european countries
making_mischief ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:54:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canadian, so...pretty close?
LifeIsBadMagic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:03:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think there are even fewer The Vicar of Dibley fans.
shakeitsalome ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:04:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, no, no, no...Yes! Vicar of Dibley needs more love.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:30:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm American and grew up watching this with my grandparents.
rdmusic16 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:57:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping up Appearances and Are you being Served were both part of my childhood in Canada.
DrunkLego ยท 332 points ยท Posted at 22:11:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are dozens of us. Dozens!
Edit: dammit, wrong show.
third_king ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:26:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and my axe!
docsnavely ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:43:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onslo did like his cut offs.
dukeofnewyawk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:42:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but his cut offs were his sleeves, not his pant legs.
Not_A_PedophiIe ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:49:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My parents always used to watch Keeping Up Appearances and Are You Being Served?
GodotNeverCame ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:29:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ground floor, perfumery stationary and leather goods. Wigs and haberdashery. Kitchenware and shoes, going up!
Edit 2: wrong floor. Also shoes.
JustAnotherAvocado ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:43:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glass of water for Mr Grainger!
GodotNeverCame ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:25:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'll need to measure your inside leg...
mrdj0060 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:43:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Have my up vote
throwitaway488 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:10:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no no no no no yes vicar
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also the Good Life
HoundsofHekate ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:44:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same! It was a rare, usually late night PBS showing (along with Blackadder, Flying Circus, and Father Ted) when I was in high school (American here, I caught the programs between 2001-2005 and taped them on VHS). What a joy to see them referenced on Reddit!
microwavemedia ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:14:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you never know when it might be time to sing at someone!
songoku9001 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:39:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the first time I've come across any KUA fans.
xlr8_87 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
RICHAAAAAAARD!!!
Whupdidup ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:40:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love that show! So funny.
thesuperevilclown ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:37:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
it's got to do with how the show grows on you over time. at first it's almost cringe-level, but eventually, as Hyacinth gets more ridiculous over time, she becomes kinda like Homer Simpson and does stupid stuff that people have either done themselves or have watched someone else do to hilarious effect.
corsicanguppy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:57:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure my wife watched an episode just this week. it's still on.
EllenWow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been waiting so long (since they announced the spin-offs) to pitch my "Keeping Up Appearances"/ "Game of thrones" hybrid and I feel like this might be my time to strike, but also might just be me jumping at my first opportunity. Shit.
AsdfeZxcas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:38:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw it on the local PBS back in the day. Iirc the line up here was "Keeping up Appearances" "Are You Being Served" "Stargazers" (that one was a short about various astronomical events coming up) and "Doctor Who"
biggreenlampshade ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:26:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mostly quote it now because I unwittingly turn into Hyacinth/my mother whenever my boyfriend is driving.
Grimdotdotdot ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll bust out some So Haunt Me quotes next.
narwhalsies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:19:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I grew up watching the show with my grandparents... it's just ingrained in my soul now.
SJammie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just found this and went "Hang on, what? This is reddit, I did not expect this".
Jordoom ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its bittersweet for me. I used to watch it with my great-grandmother. So when I watch it now, I start off laughing but generally finish sobbing uncontrollably.
chux4w ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're nearly always Australian too.
Onlyhereforthelaughs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't say I'm a fan, I just know the meme.
Idontreadrepliesnoob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not there, dear--I like to face the window!
b1gg33k ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before we had kids my wife would want to watch her britcoms every Saturday. Red green came on after that :)
Also, keep looking up stargazers!
redditshy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:52:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that show since middle school, and I am from the Midwest United States. Came on PBS, like all the other BBC shows.
recursion8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God bless PBS.
A_Wizzerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping Up Appearances is the name of my secret porn folder.
Pidgey_OP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got my mom the complete boxed set for mother's day. One of her favorite shows
blue_jay_jay ยท 352 points ยท Posted at 20:05:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still Bucket to me!
Gawndy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:04:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone say they need a few ducets?
Barbell_Thugged ยท 330 points ยท Posted at 21:19:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind the sheep, Richard.
losimagic ยท 248 points ยท Posted at 21:41:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're inside the lorry, Hyacinth!
KeetoNet ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:09:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That show was so unrealistic. One of them would have died by Richard's hand within the first season if it were accurate.
pseudocultist ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:30:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've met a few long-suffering husbands like him, and I'm constantly amazed and curious as to why they do it. She musta had that good pussy.
TrunkleBob ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 00:18:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She hasn't put out since Sheridan was born. She references in an episode, tells some other lady that whenever those thoughts come to polish the silverware or something.
KeetoNet ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm thinking of Hyacinth's pussy and I think I need a shower.
AgCat1340 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:35:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dunno... she wasn't a total bowser when she was younger.
knot_tellin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swore for years that she was the old lady on the bench in Forest Gump....I dare say we're both mistaken.
inflammablepenguin ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:12:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I bet she wore rubber gloves when giving him a tug.
recursion8 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:14:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keeps a clean house, probably cooks amazingly (just bad company at the actual dinner).
making_mischief ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:54:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minding the sheep, Hyacinth.
eleanora_ ยท 217 points ยท Posted at 21:57:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE BOUQUEEEEEET RESIDENCE
DaleLaTrend ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:26:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lady of the house speaking
dukeofnewyawk ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 01:46:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh it's you, Violet!
kevinxb ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 02:20:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's my sister Violet! The one with the Mercedes, sauna and room for a pony
DaleLaTrend ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:26:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lady of the house speaking.
joeyasaurus ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:11:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The lady of the house speaking!
rjc72 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:50:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weโre French you know
thestonedballerina ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:04:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...the lady of the house speaking!"
thedreamdweller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 12:16:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's actually a florist in my town called 'The Bouquet residence', makes me giggle every time I pass it.
quazax ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:26:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind the Karma train Richard.
Jowobo ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:12:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sigh Minding the Karma train, dear.
liselottes_finger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:07:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's on the other side of the comment chain!
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:57:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SelfAwareToast ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:19:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yessss.
HMCetc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:48:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yay!
deepeyes1 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:56:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Bucket woman!
redditshy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:56:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:D <3 somehow this made me feel so warm. Oh Hyacinth.
danzey12 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:42:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a straight out of left field reference my god.
eatrunknit ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 02:25:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The last thing I ever thought I'd see on a Reddit thread is a "Keeping up appearances" reference! You've made my night.
ryzzie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:03:26 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen a few over the years. Every time the bucket woman fans crawl out of the woodwork.
mrdj0060 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:47:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I thought I was the only person who remembered this
AngelfishnamedBanana ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:33:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was on Netflix and may still be!
mrdj0060 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:39:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have the dvd collection
TEG24601 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:51:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Check your local PBS station, they commonly carry it, along with "As Time Goes By".
dukeofnewyawk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:47:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was taken off some months back in the US due to Netflix's contract with the BBC not getting renewed.
thumpas ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mind the cyclist dear,
What cyclist? Where?
On the pavement dear
Isn't that where he's supposed to be?
ammayhem ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:52:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was always pronounced "Bucket" before we got married...
iamkimmyp ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:11:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How dare you mispronounce my name while speaking to me on my white slimline telephone!
TEG24601 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:48:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, damn. It is that damn 'bucket' woman.
HandlebarHipster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:53:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YES YES YES! I loved this show growing up (for some reason).
atomic_biscuit55 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:37:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Bucket?
zedeathstar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:38:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poor Richard.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 21:36:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
HoundsofHekate ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:45:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're wearing a false nose!
stabby_joe ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:47:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an old reference sir, but it checks out.
baconia ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:11:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't sit there dear I like to face the window
FrenchMilkdud ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:49:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
with a "B"
suitelogic ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:37:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's French, but not too French
QuantumDad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:16:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Quit trying to church it up, boy"
MrOceanB ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:48:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
walking past Onslow's car Woof Woof falling into bushes
theoriginalmack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "unemployed".
AronTimes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's pronounced, "throat-warbler mangrove."
Otto_Scratchansniff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:35:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedkeepingupappearances
ballsdontshow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:25:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where's this from? "Oh, you mean Bucket?"
ZeroConsortium ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:28:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/itspronouncedbouquet/
jawnlobotomy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedbucket
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...I was not expecting a reference to this series. Nor was I expecting it to be so highly up voted.
HMCetc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:46:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me neither..... I was expecting people not to get it tbh, especially since it was American waking hours.
ntrophi ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:21:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This whole thread is surreal; how on earth does the rest of the world know about Keeping Up Appearances?
HMCetc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It must be some underground cult classic.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:45:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got it from the Vermot-Quebec PBS as a kid when you could get it from antenna reception.
phantompowered ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:15:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's spelled Raymond Luxury Yacht.
Spec_Agent_Bob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:45:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh bloody hell, it's that Bucket woman again!"
Corrupt_id ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:49:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dir-tรฉ".
"Don't try to church it up son"
HelixPinnacle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, I see. So it is pronounced "book-it" then?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:35 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, god my ex-wife basically aspired to be her.
BigPotOfJam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:05:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the guy off Brooklyn 99 with the surname 'Danger', but insists that it is pronounced 'Donger'.
overzeetop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dee - Moh - naay
Red_Dawn_2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had to be exposed to a dubbed version of that nearly every single day for months on end. I had finally forgotten that it exists, and now I'm being dragged back to it.
Damn it.
OrangeClyde ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:05:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I only get this because I watched Real Housewives of Cheshire and had to look it up.
inorganicorgan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:21:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair 'bokay' looks kind of dumb.
Also I'm sure I missed the reference that got you gold.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet again, a perfectly good comment is ruined by a stupid cringey "acceptance speech" edit. How much of a loser are you, honestly?
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:12:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much of a loser are you to call someone else a loser because they typed a sentence about how pleased they are? Was it really necessary? Really that necessary just to let me know how easily annoyed you get at things? At a menial Reddit comment? Do you just hate everything? Go and cheer yourself up and watch some Keeping Up Appearances! And maybe spend a little less time grumbling on the internet about gold "acceptance speeches" and watching porn? Loser.
Fickery_dich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by your post history I think its pretty clear you're the loser here. You don't get the chance to complain in real life don't you? Maybe need some friends or something? You've been complaining about the topic for over three hours!!!!!
HMCetc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:42:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right. That's pretty sad actually....
NordyNed ยท 154 points ยท Posted at 18:09:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that Irish? /s
togro20 ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 19:56:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced "Bloffer" when anglicized, but retains the old "Blaugher" in Ireland.
tommy_the_tit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloffer sounds like he should be accompanying Bilbo to kill Smaug.
Rfvbgt69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:55:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was Dori and Nori and Ori and Oin and Gloin and Bloffer and ...
im_dead_sirius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blรกithin Blaugher? I think I went to school with her.
OdysseanOdyssey ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 18:18:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe German.
valeyard89 ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 19:26:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frau Blaugher!
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 131 points ยท Posted at 19:46:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
horses whinny in distance
busterpkeaton ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:31:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obscurest reference I ever got.
lampshade12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn it, you beat me to it!
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have to watch that again soon, haven't seen it in years.
baduncle69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol
CaressConner ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:39:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herr Blaugher nicht Frau Blaugher
ghabdidabdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:17:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of this song from a kids show:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrP3IOKU6Q4
They originally had pretty nice pictures to go with the music, but this video doesn't have them unfortunately.
StatmanIbrahimovic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blaugher? I hardly know her!
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SierraAKilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wish I could even pretend how it might be spelled in welsh. Throw in some Ws and Ys and I think it'd work
tirmanadir ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:27:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs?
TipOfTheCheeseburg ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:57:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ghengis Khan, but Emmanuel Kant. Joe Bloggs, but Walt Disney.
getogeko ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:13:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should I call an ambulance?
_Reliten_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As I recall, it ended poorly for Joey Bloggs.
Domari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Firefly reference? :P
emmster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kenny Bloggins.
cannotfoolowls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 19:38:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blagger? or blagueur?
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:26:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blagging? Do you do that on your wobsite?
ReadsStuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:39:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To blag is to bullshit, to make it up.
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:50:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://xkcd.com/148/
ReadsStuff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:05:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is a niche reference, fair play.
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:19:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's always a relevant xkcd
tymme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
horse whinny
Oh, wait, you said Blahguer...
girl_squirrel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frau Blauhguer
Fracter ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'It's pronounced Fron-ken-steen'
Venaxibene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:04:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogeur
Kilr0y_was_here ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you
cornylamygilbert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DIGGER
and
INFO
You'll either be digging in mines on Mars or a knowledge worker in an office responsible for whatever's on the monitor
Creabhain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs would become Joe Blogger.
rageclass69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Funny, if it were to be written as "Blagheur" or something like that, it would mean "loser" in Flemish-Dutch. French probably works too since we borrowed it from the French word "blague" which means "joke" - it has a negative connotation in the Flemish dialect, as if the person would be an absolute joke.
sirwartortle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bleucher?!?
SierraAKilo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cover your mouth!
Killfile ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frau Blahguer.
georgeo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Andre Blaugher: Life on the (Cascading Style) Sheets.
aquamelissa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:23:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe blogs?
twat_and_spam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Otherwise known as cancer and judas now. Good luck...
elaerna ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blaugher
TommyDangerously ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone named Baloguher
Invisiblechimp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is your name Blogger with a B, or Vlogger with a V?
blaughw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beg pardon?
MrBlahg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already have it covered. Cornelius J Blahg, at your service.
Fireslide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be Joe Bloggs
The fake name they used for hypothetical examples would be a real person
Green-Brown-N-Tan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact.
In the army we use (rank) bloggins as a generic army guy when in a teaching point story.
Example: Sgt Bloggins knew at his charge parade that he shouldn't have motor boated Warrant Officer Bloggins' wife at the ball.
Chanandaler__Bong ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spelled like that, I can only hear Arnold Schwarzenegger say it.
"GET TO THE BLAHGUER!"
Greasy_Bananas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Googler
so_hologramic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You laugh but there used to be a blogger who insisted on calling what she did "Life Casting" because her name was similar.
dt7693 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Baguette... Hon Hon Oui Oui Baguette.
BorKon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This ain't real profession
Daemonblackfyre0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boujee af
MrSyaoranLi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:35:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Blagghauer.
Garakthesimpletailor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you hear a screaming horse in the distance regularly?
TheBlackHive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Horse sounds
Gbiknel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogging was so 00's, they prefer to be called journalists now.
pepcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blaheur is local slang for a pretentious person, you made me snigger
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogr
OMGaneshOM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Oblaw
horsesaregay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:46:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs.
fi-ri-ku-su ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
blahguer would only work with an american accent.
DemonDuJour ยท 4852 points ยท Posted at 17:57:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Dealer, Clerk
purple_pixie ยท 1518 points ยท Posted at 19:27:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... but Clark/Clerk are English surnames that come from the profession.
MotherFuckingCupcake ยท 120 points ยท Posted at 21:17:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. Am one of the multitude of Clarks in the world.
Early_Grace ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 22:47:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeaahup. Non-clerk Clark reporting.
Rtyper ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 22:55:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clarke checking in. We got an extra 'e' to be all fancy and shit.
Flam3Shotz ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:15:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a clark, I blame you for people misspelling our name
MonsieurClarkiness ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:23:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And having to answer the question of whether or not there is an 'e' every single time someone needs to spell my last name
PanemEtCirceuses ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:56:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clark here, too. When I signed up for Facebook in 2006, there were 12 pages of people with both my first and last names. Now, who knows, but I'm guessing there are thousands. Thanks for the generic name, family.
RogueLotus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clarke Clark?
PanemEtCirceuses ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:24:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, my first name was one of the five most popular the year I was born, and has been popular before and since.
Robo_Satan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:40:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd ask what your first name is, but that would give me your true name, which gives me power over you... But, since there are at least twelve other people with your fore and surname, I think it's safe.
OreBear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know your pain.
vonlowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am likely to be the only person ever with my name - my first isn't super common (but at least people know how to spell it) and then my surname is pretty rare - I'm one of 1600 (of 65 million) people in my country with it.
ashl_litning ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:22:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family legend is that we, the Clarkes, added the E after we got across the pond because the Clarks were a bunch of shifty fuckers and we didn't want to be associated with them any longer.
Susim-the-Housecat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:28:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Clark family in my area are all scum, just recently a bunch of them and their friends put a motorbike inside an Iceland (grocery store) delivery van and set it on fire. so I can believe this.
Yummers78 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clarke here... My friends used to joke around and call me "Clarkey" after they learned how it's spelled.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 07:41:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clarkรฉ. Glad to know that joke is universal.
ashl_litning ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:50:42 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every now and then growing up I'd get a teacher who'd apparently never met another Clarke and actually thought Clarkรฉ was the correct way to say it.
Yummers78 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:32:24 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh good Lord.. CLAR-KAY ... I'm cracking up here
Originalvipers ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I.
Jettrode ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:56:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And my axe!!
Curiousfur ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:17:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clark on one side, Mercer on the other. I feel I am meant to sell things, so logically I went to school for welding and now plumb.
connormxy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:27:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a verb still? Awesome.
Squifferific ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:13:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are tens of us.
Satyrane ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:28:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh, TIL.
RandyChavage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:10:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As is Merchant for dealers.
butterfingahs ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:02:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk is someone saying "Clark" with a Midland accent.
A_Wizzerd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 05:38:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But... but "clark" already is how "clerk" should be pronounced!
Munt_Custard ยท -7 points ยท Posted at 05:42:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm fairly certain clerk rhymes with lurk.
CoalCrafty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:47:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it rhymes with lark
gunn3d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:38:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's what I thought, until everyone in the workplace started to pronounce it all the time as "Clark"
fi-ri-ku-su ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 12:45:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah you're wrong. It's called 'spelling pronunciation' because americans just read what they see. Some even pronounce the L in 'folk.' Or pronounce leisure as if it rhymes with seizure.
burlal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some things never change.
Robo_Satan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:41:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh, bugger these Clarks and Clerks, just be a cleric!
PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz ยท 1483 points ยท Posted at 18:14:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer sends mixed signals.
DemonDuJour ยท 1043 points ยท Posted at 18:39:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? I thought it was rather obvious and straightforward.
On reflection, I guess it could mean someone who works in a casino, but that'd be fairly rare.
PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz ยท 911 points ยท Posted at 18:42:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Car dealer, drug dealer, card dealer, etc.
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 178 points ยท Posted at 19:09:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only ever heard dealer in terms of drug dealer or someone who works in casinos. We're talking English surnames and in England it would be a car salesman not a car dealer.
Rokusi ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 19:47:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In America we call a place where you get cars a "car dealership" and the guy that sells them the "car dealer" or just the "dealer."
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 19:53:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know what we call them in England tbh but I've only ever heard the guy that sells cars being a salesman or car salesman.
CocoPopsKid ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 20:16:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK people often call it a showroom
TedAlBundy ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:11:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I sell cars. I'm a showroom.
Renotss ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:00:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US we use showroom too, but specifically for the area inside the building that holds the really nice cars for, well, show. Most of the cars are in the lot outside, and we call the entire thing a dealership.
butler1233 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am UK, can confirm that it's usually a showroom of a dealership, but the people who sell cars are usually just salesmen.
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:47:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I should have known them. I've always just said the (brand name here) shop.
QueenSideRook ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:36:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US, the auto dealership system is so heavily regulated that it's effectively a dynastic oligopoly. Car manufacturers aren't allowed to sell direct (though this has recently started becoming an issue with Tesla) and this dramatically cuts down competition.
It's the reason you see so many "mega-dealers". The one big car dealership company, usually identified by a family surname, probably with 3-5 different locations all focused on a different manufacturer or imprint.
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay... I've only ever seen branded showrooms or second hand showrooms in my area. Don't know about the rest of Europe or the world though.
BOJON_of_Brinstar ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:00:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in America and I would call them car salesmen too. I think I would only use "dealer" if I was actually talking about the guy who owned the whole dealership.
Galaxyman0917 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 21:33:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where are you that calls them dealers? Over here we call them salesmen on th west coast
Leer10 ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:08:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Oregon the word "dealership" clearly goes to cars, but "dealer" is a bit more ambiguous but understood well in context.
Galaxyman0917 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:10:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When referring to the dealership as an entity I could see dealer being used but not for the people employed.
I'm also from Oregon, and my little brother is a car salesmen.
Qwixotik ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Alabama and we use "car dealership" but call the employees "car salesman". I've heard dealer but it's rare if referring to someone who works at a dealership; It's usually in reference to a used car dealer.
MeateaW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, I'm going to throw in some of my own subjective opinions on this not really obscrure languagism!
I would talk about a "car dealership", and I would shorten that to "dealer" when talking about the business.
When I am talking about an individual in the dealership, or an employee of the dealer, I would call them a salesman, or salesrep.
So, as you can see above, I used the term dealer, to talk about the car dealership, "the business", but just in a different tense (or something I don't the english grammar that good).
Source: Am Australian.
Qwixotik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:21 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would refer to the dealer in the same way you would. I guess it's all very subjective.
blazershorts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a dealer is the guy who owns the dealership.
Bad-Badger ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:06:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call them both in Arizona.
jrhoffa ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:14:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Car both," or just "both?"
Bad-Badger ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"both". It stands for Boy Of the Transport House (we also call dealerships "transport houses" here).
smegma_legs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The schemiest of the seven great houses
HilariousMax ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call him "that smiley fuck" here in NC although that might be a local thing.
OKToDrive ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am in Az the dealer is usually the complex service center ect the guy you deal with when buying the car is sales the only time I heard a car salesman call him self close to a dealer he owned a little used lot and would say "I own a dealership" when asked what he did, this was not the only 'exaggeration' he was fond of.
itsdr00 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also in AZ, and I agree. A dealer is a company/building. The guy you talk to is a salesman.
Bad-Badger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must differ between cities, either that or im suffering a stroke. Either one is possibdhdknejkxn.
KnitBrewTimeTravel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...or my name ain't NATHAN ARIZONA
Bad-Badger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HEY SCOTT LAMEN HERE!
AND IM IN A PICKLE!
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:47:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Southern California, we call them dealers here.
VAPRx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From California and have 2 family friends who are car dealers and even have it on their business cards. I think its more of a slang term though, because I have had to print business cards for a local Ford dealership and the dealers all have Salesman as their position. However when talking to them they call themselves dealers too.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
VAPRx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yeah very good point! The 2 family friends who call themselves car dealers actually own the dealership so it would explain the difference between the 2 businesses.
TedAlBundy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call them car salesmen on the east coast too, but dealer definitely works in the context of selling cars.
Also works for casinos. Blackjack dealer, or just "the dealer".
sloaninator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A thing in Florida for sure.
tisvana18 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:32:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where I live in Texas, it's dealers. Can't confirm if it's like that anywhere else or just my town.
mankiller27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The East coast, or at least Northeast predominantly uses dealer.
mgraunk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always called them "dealers" in WI.
sails23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hm, no. Down here in Cali I've always heard them called Dealers. "salesman" just sounds wrong.
The_Snailman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Canada here, dealership/ dealer. Ontario to be more specific
Rokusi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in Southern Maryland. Might be a highly regional thing, judging by others' comments.
Chazzysnax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I've only heard salesman, but the place is still called a dealership. West coast here too.
Credomech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Called dealers a lot of the time around DC
Razzman70 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Wisconsin we call them dealers, and they get their own special dealer plates.so we know who has dank weed.
HowAboutShutUp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Around here, there seems to be a slight distinction based on the place. Sketchy used car places have salesmen, big lots selling new cars etc have dealers.
PsychoWyrm ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:08:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're addicted to our cars over here. Dealer is approriate.
DemonDuJour ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might vary from state to state, but I've only heard 'Dealer' as the person who owns the place. Everyone else is a salesman.
It has to do with the fact that if you buy or sell more than a certain number of cars each year, you have to have a dealer's license, for which they check your background. You can then hire salespeople to act in your name buying and selling cars for your dealership.
grandmoffcory ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:07:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, the salespeople work for the dealer. The dealer owns the dealership. That's how I've always known it, from Metro-Detroit.
grandmoffcory ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always known it as the car dealer owns the dealership, the salespeople work for the dealer. The actual people on the sales floor selling you a car are salespeople.
I used to work at a dealer auction lot where cars are sold to car dealers, as in dealership owners. Salespeople wouldn't be there, they weren't even allowed to be. The terms aren't interchangeable in that case so I'm not sure what the dealership owner would be called if the sales staff are also called dealers.
From Metro-Detroit.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It might be a regional thing, but in New England we have car dealerships with car salesmen. No one says, "I hate car dealers, those slimy dicks." It just sounds stupid. Car salesmen on the other hand, that sounds a little less ridiculous.
codychro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk man, I call them dealerships, but the people who work there are salesmen.
Imablackdude_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cardieler
SH1591 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer??? 'Hang on mate I'm just going to meet my dealer down this alley he's got a Volvo for me'
Rokusi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never really heard it as "my dealer" so much as "the dealer."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The car plug
Chill_Vibes_Brah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just call them salesmen in the Midwest.
dpatt711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never heard of someone calling the salesmen "dealers". Not even the salesmen call themselves that. I've heard of the business referred to as a car dealer, and the physical building referred to as a dealership.
Eveesix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most be regional. I live in America, have never heard the term car dealer. Always been salesman.
rhynoplaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No we don't. We might call the location itself the dealer, but salesmen are salesmen.
Rokusi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:02:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've always heard the person as the dealer and the location as the dealership. It seems like it might be highly regional.
rhynoplaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be. I went to the dealership and the salesman sold me a car, and I take it to the dealer (pretty much same as dealership) to get it serviced.
zerocool4221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
salesmen. they're called salesmen.
K4SHM0R3 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:02:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We call it a dealer here in the UK too...
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what part of the UK are you in mate? In south east England and have never heard that term aside from on TV
K4SHM0R3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family in London, as well as people where I live on the east coast, it's not exclusive, they use salesman and dealer interchangeably
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird. I've never heard round here. Just heard salesman. And if someone told me that they were a dealer I'd definitely think drug before car.
GrellMichaelis ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:11:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
English as in English Speaking, not as England.
goshdammitfromimgur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In australia and nz you buy cars from a stealership, the people selling the cars are known by a number of names best not used in polite company. They are also occasionally know as dealers or salesman.
gr89n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've successfully turned Monger into a better surname than Dealer.
FCD_1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But we do say "Second hand car dealer" in England too.
FAT_NOT_FUNNY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not in my area it would seem. I've not heard the term dealer used for anything but drugs in my day to day life.
sintaroactual ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's drugs, my dealer?
dravn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's that jacket, Margiela?ย
thelenscleaner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weed on Wheels?
TLema ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starbucks caffeine dealer
SheogorathGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP isn't shady enough to know what a car dealer is
LittleLui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DEA special agent John Pusherman
TheSidewalkSlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:42:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Double dealer. We all know some of those.
SabianLPS ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 20:05:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL I'm rare.
ckbd19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Mr. Clean with hair?
suscribednowhere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And not a bit too undercooked!
EkiAku ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:32:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I instantly casino dealer. But that's my dad's occupation, so I'm biased.
sleepybarista ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:10:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone working at a casino was my first interpretation of "dealer". I guess that's another of my Vegas local biases
str8clay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that rare around here. We have 9 casinos to service a city of 1m.
songoku9001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First thing that came to me for Dealer was to with the likes of drugs, rather than blackjack.
SpeakMouthWords ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Casino people would probably take the name Croupier anyhow
meat_croissant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:45:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
croupier is someone dealing cards in a casino
Gupperz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:43:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol I assumed you meant casino for some reason and didn't even think about it, and Im not unfamilliar with drugs.
breakthegate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a broker/dealer.
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:33:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, that's a perfect name for a pharmacist.
a_talking_face ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:00:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My drug dealer was a doctor
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came from the pharmacy, right?
a_talking_face ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was a song reference. Just threw it in there on the chance someone would get it.
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My bad, enjoy your moment.
cessodd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
agreed, the names would probably branch off in that job. like; gunner, automan, marijuanadude
librlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:04:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Crackslinger
OmniYummie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A close cousin of Billy Crystalmeth.
erfling ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seriously. They always tell you they're on the way, but they're not. Then, if you go run an errand you you miss them altogether.
road-rash3000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First name: Dick, last name: Dealer
Bandwidth_Wasted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Billy smuggler
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multiplexer sends mixed signals.
BeedleTB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine too. I just can't figure out if he hates me or wants to sleep with me.
SlurmsMacKenzie- ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:00:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one's been around for at least a millennia or two, amigo.
Last name: Clark This long-established surname is of Anglo-Saxon origin, and is from a medieval occupational name for a scribe or secretary, or for a member of a minor religious order. The word "clerc", from the Olde English pre 7th Century "cler(e)c", priest, originally denoted a member of a religious order only, but since the clergy of minor orders were allowed to marry and so found families, the surname could become established. It should also be noted that during the Middle Ages virtually the only people who were able to read and write were members of religious orders and it was therefore natural that the term "clark" or "clerk" would come to be used of any literate man
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SlurmsMacKenzie- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:50:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're the same name. It's just an alternative spelling.
Prof_JL ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:03:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder sounds pretty cool
Fishbuilder ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:06:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like the title of an action flick
Prof_JL ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:43:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder 2:
The Coderering
CafeRoaster ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:19:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk is actually the origin of Clarke and Clark.
Hotgrilzonly ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my names Molly Dealer, are you ready to have a good time?
Taper13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:45:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder is a fairly common name in Western New York... among the Amish. Think about that for a minute.
Antonskarp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:18:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The unappreciated sequel to Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy.
clayism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:54:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey neighbor, welcome to the neighborhood! My mane is John Weedman, and these are my kids, Dank and Dope. We're the Weedmans!
ArcticJew666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer desk cleric.
AtlusShrugged ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Potman.
Apocalypse487x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer and Coder are actual names.
JamesVanDerBleep ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk Kent
Chody__ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody coder
doctormink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greeter.
asheliz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real life surname is terribly close to one of these... There are lots of jokes.
SpectralDnB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Dealer AKA Dick Dealer..
DisRuptive1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Another name for dealer would be Croupier.
shortyman93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know a Coder.
https://imgur.com/qxh4zVB
JontyDante ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Card player, gambler, scoundrel....you'd like him
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:08:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Googler
Galaam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"married men and single men and some who ain't too sure..."
Central_Cali1990 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nurser, Teller, Lawson, Checker, Techerson, Agent, Bagger, Attenderson, Guarder, Druggers, Typist, Actorio, Dentral, Roaster, Barber, Courtstaff, Fireguy, Sweepist, Flyer, Builder, Goldigga
[deleted] ยท 19161 points ยท Posted at 18:26:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, given it's the most popular profession in almost every US state...some variation of driver (truck, cab, etc.)
John Cabbie, Johnny Bigrig, Jonathan Uber...hmm
MonkeyPanls ยท 2955 points ยท Posted at 20:54:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Carter", "Hostler", *"Wagner", *"Packer" for freight and "Driver" and "Carrier" for passengers.
TheUniverseInside ยท 573 points ยท Posted at 21:56:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hostler, that's me!
ImperialPsycho ยท 559 points ยท Posted at 22:17:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every day I'm hostling
aiasoftelamon ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:19:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a hostler baby
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:20:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TenSpeedBicycle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:13:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've found a reason for meeeee!!
Trollw00t ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:20:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So why don't you call me
L4ZYKYLE ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe?
WisdomFang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Git Hostle
SuzQP ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:04:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got yourself a side hustle, too?
dirty_hooker ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:34:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker here.
SerNapalm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hookers are named after civil war general from Wisconsin named something hooker.
dirty_hooker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my case it references a J hook that we use to hook to a vehicle when towing or recovering.
PorkyPickle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keith?
TheUniverseInside ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:36:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is Patrick
WorldsWithin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, nice username.
TheUniverseInside ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:36:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, STS9 is what's up
WorldsWithin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta check em out then.
TheUniverseInside ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh dang I thought that's where you were going with it... but definitely check them out
WorldsWithin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, I was just noting how our usernames are similar, but STS9 is cool too.
TheUniverseInside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very cool, like a yeti cooler
BLSBobby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
QUIT BACKING TRAILERS INTO OTHER TRAILERS AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING!
TheUniverseInside ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:37:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry mate, I don't touch any trailers, my hostling specialty is locomotives...
BLSBobby ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good. We also use "hostlers" in our frieght yards.... Motherfucker backed a trailer in or pulled out too close to another trailer that was loaded with my frieght and it sheared the hazmat placards straight off.....didn't tell nobody..
TheUniverseInside ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:00:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sucks. I can't sneeze on an engine without getting fired, so I'm beary careful
BLSBobby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you just get out and switch tracks? I'm ignorant of what it is you actually do.. Please explain
TheUniverseInside ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:26:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I have a partner who drives the engines and I ride in the stepwell and throw switches... technically my last name would be Hostlerhelper then I guess ๐
MarvinLazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Hostler, baby.
erath_droid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:05:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hostlers just move trailers around in a yard though. They aren't REAL drivers...
theehappyhooker ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:20:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the * next to Wagner for?
MonkeyPanls ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:25:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you look, you'll see that I edited the comment. Common Rediquette holds that I note what I add with a star and what I delete with
strikethroughcptjeff ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:17:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That might be the theoretical rediquette, but it's far from common. Good on you, though.
theehappyhooker ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:50:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amazing! Something new every day! Thank you. I'm still learning.
Zebidee ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:51:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carter and Wagner are just English/German versions of the same thing.
The same goes for Cutler/Messerschmitt.
While we're at it, Ferrari is Italian for Smith.
concretepigeon ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:00:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised you don't get people of English descent called Wagner or something similar given that wagon is itself a common English word.
MonkeyPanls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:55:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm neither linguist or historian, but I'll go out on a limb and say that Germanic "waggon" was displaced by the Norman French "cart" in Merry Olde when the Normans were writing commercial law. From then, the trade name went from "Wagner" to "Carter". 1066 and all that.
concretepigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But wagon is also used in English.
Zebidee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but we don't use it as a verb.
KinneySL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:05:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smiths, actually. Ferrari is plural and is rare among Italian names compared to the far more common Ferraro/Ferrara singular versions.
paul-arized ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:32:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
H.E. Pennypacker?
MonkeyPanls ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Philadelphia, and one of the large parks is called "Pennypacker" after a former governor. Apparently, it's from the German phrase for "Clay tile-baker".
EDIT: I got that wrong. It's not named after Pennypacker, it's actually Pennypack Park and is from a corruption of the local Native American name for the Pennypack Creek which runs through it (e.g. "Pennishpaska"). It's by total coincidence that there were two notable men from the early 20th Century named "Pennypacker" in the Philadelphia area; the other being Gen. Galusha Pennypacker. Just to add to the confusion, Gov. Pennypacker's former home and grounds are now a historic site, so one could speak of Pennypacker park, although it's not in Philadelphia proper.
marzolian ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard of a college dorm called Pennypacker. Often renamed Punypecker.
emmster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Galusha Pennypacker is such a fucking delightful name.
RemnantEvil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You want some fudge, Packer?"
BlueKnightBrownHorse ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:23:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I've never thought twice about where Wagner comes from.
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:46:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Wagner" rather mean "builder of carts" than "driver of carts"; the latter would be "Kut(s)cher".
BlueKnightBrownHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cool. We're there /are there any good soldier/warrior names?
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:35:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, in the army I served in the same company as HG (similar to PFC) Soldat. "Soldat" literally means "soldier".
Fans of "Archer" also will know "Krieger", which simply is the modern German word for "warrior".
Ranks that appeared during the 30-years-war are also somewhat common last names: "Hauptmann" (captain), "Oberst" (colonel), "Webel/Weibel/Wiebel" (seargeant)
There also is "Reiter" (rider, horseman), but that could also mean a civilian rider. Unlike "Ritter" which is also a last name and means "knight". However "Ritter" was a title of nobility until 1918 and such is rather uncommon as a last name.
Then we have a bunch of regional languages and dialects with their words also appearing as last names, but rather infrequently. The Plattdรผรผtsch (northern Germany) word for "war" is "Orlog", for example, while it is "Krieg" in German.
Concerning words with an Old Germanic root the warrior names are mostly first name territory (although sometimes what would normally be a male first name pops up as last name); like
"Eckhard"(m) (strong sword)
"Gerhard"(m) (strong spear)
"Gerold"(m) (spear-ruler)
"Robert"(m) (radiant glory)
"Harald" (m) (commander; literally "the ruler of the army")
"Herbert"(m) (glorious army)
"Lothar"(m) (loud warrior; as last name: "Luther")
"Thorwald"(m) (wielding Thor's might)
"Waltraud"(f) (the one hoped for on the field of battle; protector of the fallen)
"Brunhilde"(f) (battle armour)
"Gertrud"(f) (magic spear)
"Inge"(f) (protector)
"Rosalind"(f) (healer of the battle steeds)
BlueKnightBrownHorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:50:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, that's incredible. How does one become an expert on cool names?
shadovvvvalker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:24:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the correct version. Names were actions not occupations.
Fellidae ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:37:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does pizza count as? Freight or passenger?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:02:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow lol mind blown
ApisTeana ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:47:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cartman...
mightysquirrell ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and don't forget Lumper
mrmentalz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carrier is a common name in Canada already
ttubravesrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't forget Porter
teamsacrifice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carter irl checking in here
MonkeyPanls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Both surname and occupation? :)
teamsacrifice ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Surname only :/
WagnerBroz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wagner baby!
paragonemerald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a hostler, baby!
oversettDenee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teamster?
pm_sweater_kittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:45:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drove teams of animals to pull heavy loads. My grandfather was a Carter by name, Teamster by profession, Mule skinner by trade.
subfighter0311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These all sound like porn names to me
terrytoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wagner is a name that comes from a professional background, they built carts and wheels. a somewhat common in germany/austria.
HabseligkeitDerLiebe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The driver would be called "Kutscher", though.
mastapetz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:38:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well Wagner came from that as far as I remember.
pm_sweater_kittens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carters were people who made the carts.
ZombiAcademy ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 22:50:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carrier is an air-conditioner
TedAlBundy ยท -5 points ยท Posted at 22:09:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would a passenger be named Driver? Wouldn't the driver be named Driver?
MonkeyPanls ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:27:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freight vehicle drivers vs passenger vehicle drivers. I was trying to find a way, using common English words, to express that these are two different vocations and so would have different surnames, within the context of this AskReddit. (Wagner is German, but I offer it as a contraction of "Waggoner")
TedAlBundy ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 22:45:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what you're saying is Driver would be for like taxi's, not the passengers? The way you phrased it I thought you meant passengers would get the name Driver.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:51:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TedAlBundy ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neither are half of the "professions" people listed in this thread. Your point is moot. Especially since the way they phrased it said passenger, and not "passenger drivers" or "passenger vehicles".
nerak1138 ยท 7969 points ยท Posted at 21:04:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Cab."
SyntheticOne ยท 4017 points ยท Posted at 21:48:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goober Uber.
rcktoaster37 ยท 1612 points ยท Posted at 22:17:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go home, Goober
bliztix ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 22:59:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this a crossover episode?
donutsalad ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gets funnier everytime I hear it
Zorpix ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:45:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you're being sarcastic, but I think it DOES get funnier every time
zora894 ยท 282 points ยท Posted at 22:54:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yowza yowza bo-bowza!
robocopsafeel ยท 33 points ยท Posted at 00:46:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suck a dick, dumb shits! Pbbbbbt!
CJ_Guns ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:02:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dropped my phone in a bog!
5414496 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:58:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...............
Weekndr ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:11:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*crickets*
taco_bones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:40:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judy Judy Judy Judy.
camshas ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:06:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh heh. Heh.
therealblaingabbert ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:48:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's too much man!
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:20:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the 2nd bojack reference I've seen in this thread.
I'm happy c:
GumdropGoober ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:24:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not my real dad!
BloodshedAndMetal ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:52:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah Goober! Get murdered!
EveryoneYouLove23 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go sit on a sharp dick, you piece of shit!
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:01:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on, you know my real name!
the_arlen_midget ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:25:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goobert?
LizardKingofOz ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:38:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/bojackhorseman
wokeupmissing ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:43:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
G Ober
tkornfeld ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:26:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goober never did go home, did he?
Spmex7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:18:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to get fucked up and do fucked up shit.
CaitlinSarah87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get yourself a new name, Goober!
MrCheapskate_toyou ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:59:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut up, Barney! No one likes you.
tappingtenor01 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:08:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take an รผber, Goober
Vipre7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:38:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go home, Goober. You're drunk off Goobers. Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad way to end the night...
goobersayshey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok
Spmex7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant username
finallyinfinite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedbojack
GoodTimesDadIsland ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 22:39:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anita Lyft.
uhwejhd ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:57:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sit, Uber, sit!
MechanicalTurkish ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good dog!
changerfett ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:46:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goofy Goober Uber?
TheScottymo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:52:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'M A GOOFY GOOBER
PlatinumDice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goober was the name of my dog you insensitive machine
Mickeymousetitdirt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:32:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Julia Goolia
paulwillit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why is that funny?
china-blast ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Idol gets it.
SpankableGoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Gary Ober
koidivision ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad insists that he wanted to name me Goober when I was born. Either that or Oogie. Mom said no.
agentcornman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mah uby
Kinky_Dong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh I'm a goober uber yeah, you're a goober uber yeah we're all goober ubers yeah
Jaxel_MS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a sitcom waiting to happen
IzzieIz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some big shot Hollywood actor would totally name their kid that.
Hansoda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They all hated me!
PM_ME_UR_TATAAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The ol goofy goober uber
relevents ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Descendants of Alan Turing would probably have a last name of homogeneous.
ptipp93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ถI'm a goofy Uber๐ถ
enjoy_moderation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:59:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goober GilsCarbo
gigapudding43201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Next time I need a new username
callmemateo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IM A GOOFY GOOBER YEAH
Goobz24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did someone order a ride?
_orbus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shortened to Goob Uber, you get to say boob.
SilentRaindrops ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a Christmas office party without Hans Guber.
CedarWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't know they stacked goobers that high.
Purple10tacle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tucker Trucker
Yamitenshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I ube and I ube and I ube and I ube
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Uber is a way cooler name
IsItAlwaysOr94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We've found it. The silliest name.
Lt_Doctor_Goober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You rang?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:02:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Lt_Doctor_Goober ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I'm only a Lt. Doctor, but I can get you a Doober Uber. Is that fine?
SkyelineSaphir ยท 421 points ยท Posted at 21:49:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How'd I get here?
You opened the door, and came in! <creepy head shake>
sierrabravo1984 ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 23:01:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you enjoyed the ride.
helloyouhavereached ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:09:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Helluva night!
raybrignsx ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 23:05:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is not my beautiful wife.
Taffuardo ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:38:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LETTING THE DAYS GO BYYYYYY
LVTIOS ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:40:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The only show that makes you ask yourself, "How did I get here?"
Redhy1 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How did I get here? Help!"
Ahrily ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stay away from the coffee machine.
HarveryDent ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:06:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always thought he was rolling his eyes, which was funny to me, that a robot could be like, "this fucking idiot."
striker1211 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was rolling his eyes at him, for the record. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&t=20
dmk2008 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:23:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe it's "The door opened; you got in." :) I could be completely wrong, though. It's been a long time since I've seen it.
ChuckZombie ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:50:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sue me, dickhead.
cosmosopher ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:48:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AHHHGHHGGH!
Malfunkdung ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:01:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get dowwwnn!
OxvFer0cdak ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:38:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Sue me, dickhead."
GuardianOfAsgard ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:33:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The door opened, you got in!"
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:13:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
nerak1138 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:00:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could remember it for you wholesale.
Levitus01 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:32:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert Picardo's finest work.... With the only exception being the EMH from Voyager.
schattenteufel ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:09:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Essentially the same character. A sarcastic virtual assistant.
ExquisitExamplE ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:41:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the role he was born to play baby!
nerak1138 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:21:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought he killed it in "Inner Space" as the Cowboy, too.
ThaddeusJP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also in gremlins2!
Nogster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have gone through life not knowing that was him in that role if it weren't for you.
Levitus01 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My life is now complete. This is all I ever wanted.
_bobby_tables_ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:35:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take me to the Last Resort.
Solid_Waste ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:20:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get your ass to Mars.
bill10351 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:41:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quad: "Shit! Shit!" Johnny Cab: "I'm not familiar with that address."
maxdamage4 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:51:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ha-ha!
Mendokusai137 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:40:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take me to Mars.
dr_kingschultz ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:08:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DRIVE! JUST GO!
darkhorse21980 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:49:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit, SHIT!
RatDadRaver ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:05:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Helluva day, i'nt it!?"
Sence ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:46:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The door opened, and you got in! Ha, hell of a day isn't it?!
csonny2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get your ass to mars!
Thisisnotcanada ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:48:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Total Recall?
im_dead_sirius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:50:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Drive. Drive!
hstone3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:42:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello. I'm Johnny Cab." [breaks out into a rousing rendition of Rig of Fire]
Theatomone ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:52:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think many people got the total recall reference here.
ProjectSunlight ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:03:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hope you enjoyed the ride!
spilk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:16:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
please state the nature of the medical emergency.
reaganbush2020 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:19:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice reference but at Folsom, he said "Hello, I'm Johnny [Cab]"
Leahc1m ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:26:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Total Recall!!!
aprofondir ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joooohnnnyyyyyyyyy guitaaaaaar
BenderRodriguiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GOOOOO!!!!
kntredbeard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hell of a day isn't it?"
dbstone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:18:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The fare is 18 credits please."
bliow ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:49:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Cash."
"..."
"..."
"... Yeah, I know. Anyway, do you take credit cards?"
paul-arized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what if your cab drives itself?
RemIsBestGirl78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm Johnny on the spot"
Mash_Ketchum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm Baby"
funpak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold on, I'm trademarking that name.
lucasdcm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Sins
RobertService ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The man in the black (car).
hkystar35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like Fez's shitty alias "Johnny Table."
segasaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well anyways, here's Wonderwall"
DOLCICUS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once met a guy with the first name Cash, so a Cash Cab could be possible.
ashdontketcham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a cab driver at my bar named johnny. This is in fact what we call him.
Fish_Grillson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi Johnny Cap, my name is Johnny Dab."
hcsLabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate Mars
Edit: Yes, I know the Johnny Cabs were on Earth, not Mars. I'm leaving it.
ArtfulLounger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Crabs."
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Builder"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello and welcome to cash cab
Lizardrevenge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ถ"I parked myself today"๐ถ
-Balgruuf- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I call this one Lonesome Trucker Blues.
RolandLovecraft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Cab and this is pick up the drunk guy and hope he don't stab me."
2krazy4me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where can I take you tonight?
nerak1138 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Shit. SHIT."
"I'm not familiar with that address. Would you repeat the destination?"
Gaston44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And I'll break your fucking kneecaps if you don't get in my taxi"
smixton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you were a carpenter?
metaobject ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Cab
mrlint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. "Johnny Cab" Hologram.
Dionsean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny lyft.
schuweet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
otterom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Tim Merlot. Nice to meet you!
Busterdouglas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get to the Choppa!
spylife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And trademark lawsuit.. you'll have to change your name
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:34:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By far one of the creepiest characters of my childhood.
Pluky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Guitar
Randomhero204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We hope you enjoyed your ride!" proceeds to explode as quade gets his ass to mars"
suspicious_pebbles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that reference.
wolfcasey9589 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a lyft driver in a city with self driving ubers... FUCK JOHNNY CAB
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Johnny Mailtruck."
espi2010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Definitely read that in Johnny Cash's voice.
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, I'm Johnny Cab."
starts singing "Ring of Fire"
SECRETLY_BEHIND_YOU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:58:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I hear the Uber comin', it's right around the bend, and i ain't used the Lyft app since I don't know when"
JEZTURNER ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe le Taxi (showing my age here).
tahitiisnotineurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I GOT 5 KIDS TO FEED!!
TheSidewalkSlam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And next we have Johnny Cab's latest single, 'I Drive the Line.'"
majinspy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:49:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually "a thing" in the tabletop game Shadowrun....fwiw.
NotEvilWashington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:18:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And welcome to Jackass
Maschidezin ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Total recall.
808909707 ยท 992 points ยท Posted at 19:38:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie something-or-other
ViolentThespian ยท 1438 points ยท Posted at 21:25:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That works, right?
Compuwiz85 ยท 464 points ยท Posted at 21:52:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Cooper is a barrel maker, you don't see too many in that profession these days, even if it is also a car name.
ImAScientist_ADoctor ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:06:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Copper Minnie
philmcracken27 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Skirt? I like that one.
Jason_OT ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:02:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like a midget in law enforcement?
thedolomite ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:22:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a few coopers. Wooden barrels are still needed by the wine industry
weedful_things ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:11:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A place opened nearby that makes barrels for Jack Daniels whiskey. I don't know how many people work there. I do know that it was cheap to buy used whiskey barrels but now craft brewers buy them all.
DeadKateAlley ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:49:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a cat named Cooper. Shittiest Cooper ever... not made a single fucking barrel.
simrobert2001 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:18:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still see metal and plastic barrels quite often.
naryn ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:25:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah but coopers don't make those
weedful_things ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a pretty high demand for whiskey barrels.
koalaondrugs ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not really their thing https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cooper_(profession)
ZombiAcademy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So would Minnie Cooper make small barrles, or are they small?
82Caff ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pony kegs.
theidleidol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just have to spell it Couper
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone has to make the wine and whisky barrels!
aintNOfunBNdumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about couper
P0RTILLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like Rotomolder
ultimahwhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact learned while touring distilleries in Kentucky over the weekend: by US law, bourbon must be aged in new, white oak barrels charred on the inside. That means that as long as there is bourbon being made, there needs to be coopers to make the barrels. Bourbon production is only growing, so coopers are safe with their jobs until automation cracks that industry.
altiuscitiusfortius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They make wagon wheels too don't they?
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A mild touch of Baader-Meinhof going on here: I just recently watched this documentary about a modern cooper. Even if you don't understand German, the craftmanship is very nice.
SuperSlyRy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:23:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Driver actually pans out pretty well
nlpnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except she drives a bigass Econoline on TV, not a Mini.
katastrophyx ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:06:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had me a childhood crush on Winnie Cooper
tacticalslacker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't mind getting in Winnie Cooper's bunghole.
94percentstraight ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:56:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your talents are wasted here.
TheSmokingLamp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:21:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winnie Cooper <3
everfordphoto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Driver.... Yes/no?
adeward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes please
Krunk83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, Minnie Driver.
booksblanketsandtea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Minnie Driver
thinmonkey69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:32:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's already a Minnie Driver. She's an actress.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot the/s
ViolentThespian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is no joking matter, I'll have you know.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least you got the joke. Cheers.
_sortarican ยท 238 points ยท Posted at 21:19:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also see: Winona something-rather
InerasableStain ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:35:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, the 'Rider' family has a completely different profession altogether
discardable42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:48:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Winona Booster
mygirlcallsmedork ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:27:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a motorcycle club in Wynona, OK called the Wynona Riders...
Ace1999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:54:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did they steal from truck stops?
great_red_dragon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:01:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something or other. :)
LifeIsBadMagic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct. Wynona's Big Brown Beaver.
barktreep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strange name
Nategg ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:05:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Minnie Driver!"
"What does she do? Drive a Minnie?"
-Bubbles
ProbablyPostingNaked ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:26:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Moocher?
valiantjared ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:37:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best friends With Heidi Ho
cowegonnabechopps ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Driver?
SgtWasabi ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HI I'M MINNIE
grilledcheesesoup ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HI I'M NANNIE
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:01:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mouse?
sirwartortle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abby something...
rrreason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
upvoted for username
mojotah23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is actually an actress by the name of Minnie Driver
abc123shutthefuckup ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:08:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the joke, bro
Syric ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
thatsthejoke.mp3
SuzQP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, this is AWESOME!
nodeocracy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Jonathan
Casteway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cooper?
I_smell_awesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Bago
TedAlBundy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Golf.
soggit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She has powerful jaws
FlintofBavaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie da moooocha!!
marcus27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!
deathpulse42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie the Moocher?
BoBasil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Moocher would keep on working.
SANTICLAWZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie The Moocher
Level3Kobold ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:22:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean like Adam Driver?
Torcal4 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:49:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby Driver
garcia_later ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:00:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
B-A-B-Y Baby
throwawayshinsuke ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:56:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny "BiggRigg" Hendricks already exists haha.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:15:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no that's pig rig
lampkyter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PigRig now
RadioactiveAppendix ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig is the most perfect porn name too.
SuzQP ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:09:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bigrig John Dozer starring in Trench that Hole, co-starring Minnie Driver
MundaneInternetGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Uber is a punk rock guitarist
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:33:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SuzQP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob IA, at your service Boss.
Emptamar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's got a couple decades left. Driving semis is not nearly as easy as a car, plus you've got to worry about tarping, strapping, your load shifting while driving, or blowing a tire on the freeway. With all the regulations imposed on truckers, automation won't be legal for a while.
sohcgt96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it does happen I'd figure light cargo box trucks happening first, but the flat bed, heavy equipment, tank and hazmat ones will be very last if ever. Partially because of the nature of it, partially because of the Walmart and JB Hunt type companies with large amounts of capital to invest.
Emptamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:19:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That makes sense, I really only think of flatbed since that's what my husband does.
sohcgt96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old roomate is a flatbed driver too, harder job than it sounds like isn't it? Tarping that stuff down isn't just laying down picknick blankets with a few bungee cords and calling it a day.
Crandom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually, trucking is one of the first industries that are going autonomous! We already have convoys https://www.theverge.com/2016/4/7/11383392/self-driving-truck-platooning-europe
Emptamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty interesting, but those are only box trucks and not flatbed which needs more driver interaction
eifersucht12a ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:32:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckin take my job roboboiz, plz.
I work in a warehouse and it's a cold, repetitive bitch. I feel like I'm managed by algorithms and they just hired slightly more qualified meatbags to be the mouthpiece of those algorithms. I knew what I was signing up for but damn, it's lonely work. It's like they've got everything lined up to be done as efficiently as possible by robots, they just haven't gotten around to putting the robots in yet.
Any customer-facing work is probably going to take a while to end up fully automated, I really think that. But frankly there's little reason not to relegate the behind the scenes shit to AI especially if it's just shifting pallets and boxes. Get it over with and maybe I'll be lucky enough to service my new robot overlords.
BurtDickinson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:47:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johny "Big Rig" Hendricks was a UFC champion.
arbuthnot-lane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Driver?
texum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:34:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Driver, Jimmy Carter, Eric Cartman, Robert Wagner
_LuckyDucky_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:05:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hehe, I'd like to meet a Mr. Bigrig ;D
sikkerhet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:00:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver sounds like a decent last name tbh
raouldukesaccomplice ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver is already a surname. (Originally it referred to driving horse-drawn carts and carriages of course.)
WowIJake ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Johnny Bigrig is probably already taken, and I doubt he's a truck driver....
Macwulf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like some good science fiction names.
norway_is_awesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, you can hardly call Uber a profession. Even their crappy commercial calls it a "side hustle".
seefatchai ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:18:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Not actually a job"
Dustorn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig sounds like a Mad Max character.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TornGauntlet ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Jimmy John Driver
IHaveTheMustacheNow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver already is a last name.
bryonypickup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Pickup!! I could be a truck driver :)
EffYouLT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig! I bet he's friends with Paul Bunyan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He Hate Me
TheChance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government?
Reilman79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jon Uber, bannerman to House Stark, Wardens of the North.
MR502 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig was one hell of a heel name for some midwest early 80's wrestling territory and is currently fueding with Jake Uber.
hutxhy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So like... Adam Driver?
AstoranSunbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually met someone who's last name was Driver though
Scratch_That_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby Driver
BranSalisbury ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Welfare
SilverChick5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Minnie Driver?
Sewerpudding ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad's name would be Joe Trucker. Sounds cool
rottensteak01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i actually know a guy whos legal last name is bigrig.
DeathBeforeDawn89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny CashCab
jimmy_rigger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why all they all Johns? Do their first names indicate how they spend their money?
IFHWBC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you were to listen to redditors I think Slut or Whore would be the lastname as apparently so many women are sluts and whores.
Quartofel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John FakeTaxi? Uh-oh.
JuDGe3690 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver, a name of seemingly Germanic origin.
Wilhelm_Amenbreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carter is basically the old timey variation on this.
Riff-Ref ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver is already a pretty common last name...
NEVERGETMARRIED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John bigrig. I like it. I like it alot.
James semi
Wayne trucker
Scott "shiftin" gears
Off to change my name boiis
SignGuy77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Tows.
Plays hockey, ironically. Does not drive a tow truck.
Torcal4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Toews
Pronounced Taves.
SignGuy77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh.
Th3Wizard0F_____ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My best friend's last name is Truc
slim_fit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alfred Salesman
Kittelsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe le Taxi?
Magmorphius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig is my new stage name.
Cptnsarcasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm johnny on the spot!
fight4mizzou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Welfare
Yglorba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a bit disturbing to realize that the most popular profession in almost every US state is also the one most likely to be eliminated by automation within the (relatively) near future.
Emptamar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's got a couple decades left. Driving semis is not nearly as easy as a car, plus you've got to worry about tarping, strapping, your load shifting while driving, or blowing a tire on the freeway. With all the regulations imposed on truckers, automation won't be legal for a while.
shabutisan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just call me tweeter.
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Driver and his son baby Driver...
wittywon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sam Bulance
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Trucker is a pretty solid name. I mean, it's not that far off from another fairly common name.
SonOfZaknafein ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a person with the last name Driver. I wonder...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit man, I'd love to live in the medieval era following the Road Warrior era. I'd fucking love the name Uber or Bigrig for my last name.
TiberiusAugustus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minor quibble: uber is literally just a taxi service. Unless you're getting into Jennifer Government territory the surname would still be cabbie.
CopiesArticleComment ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Sudeep Cab
wamceachern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my name is Adam Driver
spookykovex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this reminds of a short story written by Jack London, set in a post-apocalyptic world in which there is a clan called "Drivers" who took their name after the first clan chiefs profession, even though most have forgotten what a driver did. The story is called the Scarlet Plague
ItzAlphaWolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm now reminded of Johnny Starwars from TFS Plays
torturousvacuum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taximeter-Cabriolet would make for one hell of a last name.
Jbird1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig. Amazing
cheetahninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Bigrig sounds like the most American action movie star you could get
John_YJKR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd just be driver. Which is a surname.
pillowmcgee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oovo Javer
TheDr1ver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank God that's not the case...
Warpimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BIGRIGS! BIG FUCKING RIGS!
Overcriticalengineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Dangerously.
Kaizerkoala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Burgerflipper
dirtysock47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Driver?
Sharpevil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buck 'fat rig' Foss
Grumplogic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brittany Bangbus
narcolepsy_ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually knew a guy with the last name Bigrig. No truckers in his family interestingly enough.
DamagedAnalPassage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm pretty sure i've seen a porno starring Johnny Bigrig
UnnamedPyro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Lyft
PositiveAlcoholTaxis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver of little trucks: Johnny Puddlejumper
TheMagicMarkerMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Autopilot.
BruceFinkle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a nephew named Diesel, so it's not far off haha
JediJofis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure Johnny Bigrig has been taken by a moderately successful 80s porn star.
trey_at_fehuit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam.... Driver?
maharbry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't that just be "Porter?"
SecTrono ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lol and a couple decades from now people working as drivers will be just as common as smiths or fletchers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Bigrigger would be someone's actual name... huh...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Uber has a certain ring to it.
LockedOutOfElfland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is already a famous actor Adam Driver so this isn't that far fetched.
xkcd1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pikov andropov (cmon guys, car talk)
CaptainNapalm22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't Driver already a last name?
Zaku0083 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have to go Welsh....
Johnny the Cab
Timmy the Truck
Jeff the Uber
Robert the Sheep fucker.
DepletedMitochondria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver, Trucker, Waiter, Coder, lol
BBQavenger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Play the guitar, Johnny Uber..."
Thejunky1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker name generator is already a thing. Bloodweiser is my surname.
Beerblebrox ยท 23098 points ยท Posted at 18:42:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It was still early in the summer of 2147, but Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant was already tired of that robot's attitude..."*
koiotchka ยท 3463 points ยท Posted at 21:20:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...go on...
Beerblebrox ยท 4970 points ยท Posted at 21:31:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"To be fair, the robot was getting pretty tired of Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant's attitude too..."
thisischrys ยท 1692 points ยท Posted at 22:43:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on
Beerblebrox ยท 3317 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And the secret mech dragon that nobody knows about yet was tired of both of them..."
CreepyPhotographer ยท 1089 points ยท Posted at 23:20:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...
Beerblebrox ยท 3078 points ยท Posted at 23:48:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The dragon had been trapped underneath the grocery store since the stone ageโโdon't worry about the timelineโthis is as much a time travel story as anythingโโthe most important thing to understand right now is that the dragon was trapped underneath Uberson's Foods, and for the past 138 years, it had been mindjacking the self-checkout robot and forcing it to act like a dick.
It wasn't a great plan. So far, absolutely nobody had been pissed off enough to bomb the grocery store. But recently, the self checkout A.I.'s behavioral prediction algorithms had been flagging Tommy as a fairly consistent 12% risk...."
lordsmish ยท 1314 points ยท Posted at 23:59:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok stop taking the piss and let your mind flow i want a novel
Beerblebrox ยท 3169 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a different part of the story, it was Thursday or something. August 15th. Some guy named Walter walked out of a gutted house and just stood there staring at the sand.
There was a lot to consider. He put his hands on his hips and let them drop and put them back again.
"Yeah, wellโฆ" he said, "desperate times, desperate measuresโฆ"
It was a dumb thing to say, but there was nobody around to notice.
"What's the big deal?" He nodded and put his hands back on his hips. "I mean, likeโฆ what's the big deal, you know? This is justโฆ how it goesโฆ"
If you're starving to death, sure. No one can blame somebody for doing what they need to to survive. This was similar, but deep down, Walter knew it'd be more for convenience than utter necessity.
It really didn't help that it was the body's birthday. Either that or some dirtpirates strapped a party hat on her and baked her a cake before beating her to death with a shovel and stealing every useful object she owned, including the cake. Only thing left was the candleโ"60!!!"
Those animal bastards had jammed it in her eye socket. Lit it, too. Happy birthday to EYE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Didn't eat her, though. You don't have to be a cannibal if you get there first.
Walter tried to think of what his friend Robie would've said. Robie was a real free-thinker. The exact type of rebel visionary who'd've been king of the apocalypse if he hadn't been allergic to ants.
"You gotta do what you gotta do, Walt," Robie would've said. And Walter would've said something like "but she looks kind of like my momโฆ"
"It, Walt. It looks like your mom. You've gotta depersonalize something if you want to eat it."
Walter went back inside to see if anything about the situation seemed different.
There it was: the birthday girl.
"You can'tโฆ you don't justโฆ what's the point ofโฆ" Walter thought, "I mean, likeโฆdon't kill somebody with a shovel on their birthday. Especially not a sad birthday she had to make for herself because everyone who loves her is dead. She probably watched their heads turn inside out. Jesus. Poor gal was just trying to feel happy about still being alive. Woulda been hard, but she had to tryโฆ.โfor fuck's sake, did they really need to jam it in her eye??"
Someone needed to lighten the mood.
"Who knows," Walter said out loud to the body. "Maybe you had friends on your birthday. I mean, there's no way to tell for sure that you didn'tโฆ."
Yeah there is.
He pictured the body saying this, and for some reason, it was a real dick about it.
First of all, there'd be more bodies. Let's count the bodies: oneโit's me.
"Maybe your friends escaped."
All of them? And they took the chairs? Come on, boobooโฆ you really think a horde of teeth-faced Chigs finds a birthday party full of 60-year-olds, and there's some scenario where even one of the 60-year-olds makes it out alive?
"Well, mโ"
โWhile carrying a chair?
"Maybe they took your friends. To, like,โฆ do stuff to."
But they didn't want me?
Walter hadn't meant it like that.
So the story we're going with is: those birthday-murdering, candle-jamming, swamp monsters busted into my happybirthday friendparty, stole our chairs, murdered me, and then stole and had nonconsensual intercourse with all my friends? As long as nobody died alone, though, right?
"Christ. I'm just trying to look at things positiveโฆ"
Great job. Happy birthday to me. Next maybe you could tell me a story where you came here to say that.
"I wouldn't have killed you, probably. And I definitely wouldn't have done the candle in your eye. Why do that? There's no reason to do that. I don't even understand how you get the idea to do that."
Walter stared at it for a while. The opulence. The horror.
Did you lose your manners? Doesn't matter what it looks like. A blobby wax spider struggling to get out of a blood swamp or something, or a blood octopus giving birth to a fire octopus. Doesn't matter. Just do what yโ
โcreaking sounds. Maybe the door. They could still be around.
Too late to hide now, dear. Hold still. Only run if you have to.
finite_turtles ยท 362 points ยท Posted at 01:52:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually really good story telling. If you made it up on the fly then I'm impressed. You manage to hint at a lot of characterisation and bigger story in such a tight space. For example the bit about the ants that cracked me up.
Well done
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 02:35:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well ya sure, but, where'd the dragon go?
Beerblebrox ยท 111 points ยท Posted at 03:20:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm glad somebody asked.
It would be an understatement to say he didn't go anywhere. He had been trapped underneath the grocery store, unable to move anything but his pinky claw for longer than wheels have been around if you're counting straight through.
If he'd had a last name, it would've been Tootrappedtohaveajob.
He never had a last name, but his first name was Brรถd.
Before becoming a dragon named Brรถd, Brรถd had been a turbomole named Brรถd. And immediately prior that, he had been a monk named Brรถd.
The transition from mole to dragon had not been intentional. Any half decent shapeshifter knows not to transform into an eight-ton oxygen-preferring reptile while you're ninety feet underground. And Brรถd was a particularly decent shapeshifter. In any other situation, he would have been able to turn back into a mole and continue the original mission.
But on this particular day, time malfunctioned at the exact wrong time.
You'd need to be a physicist from an alternate universe for the explanation to take less time than I have, but in short, for approximately 3 seconds, it became 9014 BC everywhere. By the time the malfunction was reversed, there was a grocery store directly on top of him, and everybody who might have wondered where he was was dead.
Convincing someone to bomb the grocery store by mech-warging into the self-checkout A.I. seemed like the only option he had left.
mintzie ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 05:28:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You named the dragon bread
Mrwhitepantz ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 06:10:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you Terry Pratchett? Feels very much like a Discworld novel in the works here.
VerrKol ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 06:46:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like Douglas Adams I think, but definitely British. The whimsical humor and understatement is a dead giveaway.
Edit: I just read his username. Definitely channeling Douglas Adams
weedexperts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised it took that long for people to notice.
ISOFM ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:09:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the fuuuuuuck. I'm hooked
syntax42 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 06:38:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Douglas Adams back from the dead? Username checks out...
ViviCetus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:51:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dragon-sponsored cyborg terrorism? Has Brรถd only been underground for moments in his own timeline, or has be been twiddling his pinky claw for millennia?
Did he live for so long because he's a dragon, or because he's a monk, or because he's a time traveller? These disparate themes have unexpectedly similar consequences.
ninja edit: Unfortunately, Reddit is exactly the wrong medium to do serial lit on.
DanteAmaya ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:05:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Save Brรถd!
Phelanthropy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's make shirts!
plasticarmyman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:42:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duuuuuude more!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 14:04:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I just say...
I love you, and when is your novel due out?
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:58:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subscribe.
montyberns ยท 135 points ยท Posted at 01:14:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've fed the horde, now sate their appetite.
TheMightyCraken ยท 404 points ยท Posted at 00:56:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
go on
Beerblebrox ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 02:26:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The birthday house was still partially boarded up, and it was hard to see through the dust in the air, but something was crawling around on all fours, and it looked like a person.
What in tarnationโฆI've got a birthday candle with my own brains on it in one eye, and a balcony view of hell in the other, and I ain't never seen anything like that in my lifeโฆ.
The more rapport Walter developed with the body, the more cowboyish its observations sounded.
Yep, that's the weirdest damn thing I ever seen, cowpoke. Glad I'm already dead. Good luck to you, though.
It crawled closer. It was for sure a person. Charlie, to be specific. Walter recognized himโthey'd worked the same shift at Gas-n-Git before everybody went crazy and the economy collapsed. He'd always been a weird kid, but never... like this. Poor kid. Walter didn't know what the proper thing to do was. Should he say hi? He felt like he should say hi, but he didn't know Charlie well enough to predict how he'd react.
He'd need to decide what to do soon, because it looked like Charlie was picking up his scent. He crawled around sniffing the air with a perplexed look on his face, then he bent all the way down and sniffed the ground. He crawled closer.
Walter decided to say hi so it wouldn't seem like he'd been hiding.
He stepped forward and said "Hey there Charlie."
Charlie attacked immediately.
seasonedfries ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 03:08:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO WALTER?!?!?!
Beerblebrox ยท 174 points ยท Posted at 03:56:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'd be difficult to explain it all at once, but we'll start with the immediate.
Remember that shovel? The one that made the body a body instead of a person?
It was still laying on the table.
The second he made eye contact with Charlie, Walter knew roughly what was about to happen. It's just one of those things you can tell from the way an animal looks at you. And the way Charlie looked at him said two things:
1: "Hello! My body is a person, but I'm not!"
And
2: "You're going to die right now*
*unless you find some way to make me die first."
Walter grabbed the shovel.
He yelled "GET THE FUCK AWAY, CHARLIE, FUCK YOU CHARLIE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??" and started swinging at the air in front of him.
Charlie's eyes narrowed. He backed off a little bit.
"Yeah, Charlie: I'm gonna kill you if you get closer," Walter said. "Don't you dare get any closer, Charlie. I'm having a bad day, and I'm gonna kill you."
Charlie stopped getting closer. He cocked his head and made the same confused face. He sniffed the air a little more.
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU, CHARLIE. I'M GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU GET CLOSER."
Charlie backed away. He seemed genuinely confused. The way he was looking at Walter now was more along the lines of "Oh no, I do not know what I am doing, and I am very scared."
"GO AWAY, CHARLIE."
Charlie backed away further.
"GO ALL THE WAY AWAY, CHARLIEโYOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT. I'M GONNA KILL YOU."
Charlie went away.
AsthmaticNinja ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 04:16:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would definitely read your book about a man who has the weird ability to have sarcastic conversations with dead people in an apocalypse.
ArchAngelsGaze ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 04:33:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus this is amazing! You should keep going, and maybe post it all together somewhere so we don't have to crawl through the comments to find it in order!
Rorroh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 07:46:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's got 7 chapters and then another 4 on his user page!
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, THANK YOU! :)
hipstergrandpa ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 05:49:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's like Hitchiker's Guide at the end of the world. Except..well, you get the idea. Bravo!
PhantomAngel042 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 06:32:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, his name is Beerblebrox...
scud_missile ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 04:03:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
itsmeyourbrownfriend ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:31:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For some reason i keep picturing Simon Pegg as Walter
Fatryanreynolds ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what happened to the sideways watermelon lady??
Bazzy555 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:59:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your writing seriously reminds me of David Wong.
Write a book man, for humanities sake.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He became the one who knocks. He became the danger.
[deleted] ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 02:29:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd buy this book after what I've read
friendzyme ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 02:33:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tall tales of the Apocalypse and other short stories
Oh man, I'm getting so psyched!!
QuidditchSnitchBitch ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:56:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is seriously cracking me up. Douglas Adams would be proud and miffed that you're attempting to take his spotlight. Politely, of course.
gsjkly123 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:27:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
go on
YourEnviousEnemy ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:28:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on
Holy_Jumper ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:43:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You read like Stephen King, and that's an amazing thing. You got a twisted mind and I fucking love it!
CaptainMarnimal ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only read one King book but it was much more boring than this read was.
trixtopherduke ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:03:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get outta here!
CaptainMarnimal ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:09:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was "The Dead Zone" and while it was interesting I kept finding myself wondering when the story was actually going to go somewhere. When I got two thirds of the way throughand found the mystery resolved with no emotional payoff whatsoever I kind of gave up. So I guess I've read two thirds of a Stephen King book. Did I read the wrong one?
trixtopherduke ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you did, or at least the wrong one to start with. I see your point about the long, rambling aspect of his writing. I would try out Gerald's Game, Rose Madder, or It as the second one to read. I haven't read any of his books after Insomnia (recommend this one, too, but it's a long rambling one) but I'm a big fan of his works before that.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is more like Douglas Adams
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this is in the vein of Douglas Adams
Weigh13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking more like Tao Lin.
qrseek ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:50:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can hear the Douglas Adams influence in your writing and I love it!
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:44:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
wille179 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:03:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/UnexpectedWritingPompts.
Soundguy1993 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...I really hate commercial breaks...
trahloc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:01:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Replying so I can find this easier later and so you know another person appreciates your twisted twisted work.
shweelay ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely just used up 10 mins of time that I should have used working.
VirulentAura ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm reading this in the voice of the narrator from The Stanley Parable, and, somehow, it fits well
sarabonne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm replying so I can follow where this hellscape goes...
ClassyGlassy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please write this book!!
CoffeeBeanT-rex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing! You've got talent, my friend.
UntidyButterfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More!
setmyheartafire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is excellent. You must know.
Techno_Bacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this another /r/thephenomenon?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Beerblebrox ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 03:23:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you attempting to dismiss me?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And theeeeeennnnnn?
kindcannabal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:22:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And theeeeeennnnnn?
MikeFromSuburbia ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 01:00:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus Christ... continue
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:02:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, still waiting...
barcodescanner ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 01:37:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ok, this is really fun. Are you a writer? Did you start your comment with a whole plot, and only offer the opening paragraph? Or are you just going with it?
Man, this is good shit!
Beerblebrox ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 01:57:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha, thank you! That is very encouraging to hear!
The only thing I didn't write today is this part:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6y1w9r/if_english_surnames_were_created_using_todays/dmklnj1/
That's from a story I've been working on for ages, but I figured "fuck it, I'll make it work somehow..."
It has been a very impulsive day for me. I honestly don't know what my endgame is. I mean, this is the most fun I've had in a while, but am I really going to write an entire novel in an AskReddit comments thread?
Maybe.
barcodescanner ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:16:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whatever you decide, know this: you've got mad talent. I could see the entire thing go down, like I was transported to a new world. Crazy!
SWiklund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please pretty please finish this!
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:04:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't wait to see how Walter runs into the dragon/shapeshifter and the grocery store robot.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:43:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please write a book and publish it, these comments are so Douglas Adams esque and I love it so much.
RurikFuries ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 01:03:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm so intrigued!
Squirlz4WrldDominatn ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 01:52:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what was his last name?
mikeyjd25 ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 02:22:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please write more, when I started reading this I got stuck in some kind of trance until I reached the end. You definitely seem to have talent/skill.
IvyGold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/romesweetrome happening again?
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aye boy, you get off your ass off of Reddit, and go write that novel. And have the authorโs name as your Reddit username. Now run.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
except his name is a direct play on a Douglas Adams character, the critics would rip him apart
yinyang107 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 04:52:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/novel_for_your_sprog
jeev3rs ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
InFlammen ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:23:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!Redditsilver
Alienm00se ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 02:22:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is genuinely horrifying, and I mean that in a good way.
Verdigrie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 05:04:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please say this isn't the end of the story, I'm too involved now! I'm already prepared to keep reading to the point that it makes me horribly tired and unproductive in work tomorrow.
I loved the hands on hip line.
[deleted] ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 05:22:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody cares, publish the book already. You got my money.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:58:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, these are great. Let us know if you decide to post these somewhere specific, would ya?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:03:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I will pay money. Kickstarter, now.
StamatopoulosMichael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Make a subreddit. You can try out different story lines in different posts and see what sticks.
Also shoot me a message if you do ;)
bipedaljellyfish ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:13:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many questions but I'll let it slide for now... go on
IAMA_otter ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 04:00:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've got a great writing style. You ever frequent /r/writingprompts?
sergiomancpt ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:56:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, now do one about a jacked metrosexual named Mark "Smelly" Bell por favor.
chairzaird ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:59:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You have to do another now.
schmebulockjrIII ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:40:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pitch this to Netflix!!
lightningboltkid ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:26:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is brilliant and I need to be able to come back to this.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:44:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bravo
Omnitheist ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:27:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to know more about Walter and the sad, hilarious world he lives in. Please. Thanks!
PyroKing617 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:01:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy hell...how many points did you just rack up on 5 comments!?
epium ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:39:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm seeing it similar to a Philip K. Dick/William S. Burroughs short story. I like it.
deathrockmama1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:16:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is amazing. If you do not already write professionally, then you should consider it!
ivelostthewilltolive ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:27:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beerblebrox Wordsmith
Jurassic_Mars ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:27:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
+1 for "Thursday or something"
MooMooHullabaloo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:07:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It shines so bright that you are a Hitchhiker
AsmodeusTheMoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Color me intrigued
Bill_I_AM_007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus, you weren't kidding about a novel
SoCalFrank11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need to be able to come back
Invisible_Cows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:39:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this Brad?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You ever contributed to r/passtheparagraph ? If not you really should.
nicostein ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Write short stories and sell them on the internet, please.
act_surprised ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:30:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was Robie a Robot?
-Yngin- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:26:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great stuff, Zaphod
Sharktopusgator-nado ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:59:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Right, we need a novel.
waldmannio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:55:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jokes on you! The 15th of August 2147 is a Tuesday. This whole story is based on a lie!
And, of course, great story my friend
beeromoar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To be fair, he wrote "or something"
waldmannio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:38:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah it was meant as a joke anyways.
Ciphtise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, you like Robert A. Wilson, hm?
lomageric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
scrolls down for part 2
Lieu10antDan67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite impressive, lad.
msx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice writing bro
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh my god you are Doug Adams reincarnate. Please carry on the tradition, you need to.
Wut_dat_mouf_do ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking posts like this. This beautifully written turd is the reason people don't get to see more of my inadequacy.
sorbert21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More!!!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe crowdfunding could bring about a novel? Great stuff, laughed out loud every other sentence :-)
dropdgmz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
this guy can lie! nj lad
You_talking_to_moi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:57:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was expecting u/shitty_morph... Ugh. What you have done to me!?
gloopgloop42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username matches the style. I like it
XxLOGANIDUSxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:47:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This feels like hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. I love the tempo of it! I would actually love to read a story line this.
karbonaceous ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:10:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so apparently, terry pratchett faked his own death and has kept on writing through the use of a reddit account. i'm overjoyed.
jSubbz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fine.
Take your upvote.
VoraciousCoprophage ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He said a novel, not a flash fiction. ffs, some people...
RatchetLeague ยท -20 points ยท Posted at 01:57:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tl;dr?
Zack123456201 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:47:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody get that man a Nobel Prize
iamguiness ยท 97 points ยท Posted at 23:58:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MOOOOOOORRRRREEEE!!!!!!
Beerblebrox ยท 481 points ยท Posted at 00:03:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Nobodyโnot even Tommyโknew this. Despite its vastly superhuman intelligence, the self checkout A.I. lacked the capability to communicate anything other than PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA and AN ITEM HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM THE BAGGING AREA: PLEASE PLACE THE ITEM BACK IN THE BAGGING AREA. It had made several attempts to communicate in morse code by rapidly alternating between these phrases, but that backfired every time.
And this Sunday, there was a 97.4% chance that Tommy would attempt to purchase 30 or more individual packets of cherry Kool Aid powder, which is simultaneously the most frustrating singular item available for self-purchase and a key ingredient for a homemade explosive nicknamed 'chepalm'โฆ"
[deleted] ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 00:13:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
TrussedTyrant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:45:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's not a thing.
.
.
.
Yet
NoCandyForTheBabe ยท 74 points ยท Posted at 00:21:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your writing style reminds me a bit of Douglas Adams.
Asteralix ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:33:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, with a handle like Beerblebrox, you'd think he'd be a fan.
valkyrie_village ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:38:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The username would suggest a fairly heavy influence, I'd guess. I had the same thought.
SlyNaps ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The account name is beeblebrox with an r added...
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well that's obviously who they are trying to emulate.
Chaxle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:48:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's to say it isn't the man himself?
Coolmikefromcanada ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:52:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the fact that mister Adams A. frequently had to be kidnapped in order to finish at his deadline and B. is dead
diogo_fu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:06:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking the same... And his username checks out too
Shamrok34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the moment he posted "To be fair, the robot was getting pretty tired of Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant's attitude too..." that was absolutely my thought as well.
VoyagingTrek ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:56:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His username kinda points to him being a fan of Douglas Adams to begin with.
RumWalker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What gave it away? was it the username that was clearly inspired by Zaphod Beeblebrox?
douglesman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, the username does check out so you're most likely correct.
TubasAreFun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or Vonnegut
The42ndTurtle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:49:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence the name
ha3lo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His user name checks out
batmansmother ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be shocked if he wasn't an avid Adams reader. I'm still sad he's gone and those books he was working on were destroyed by the steam roller.
Smaranzky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
username checks out
CasualFox ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:29:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to buy the novel please. And work on the graphic novel version with you.
prodigalkal7 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got the screenplay!
neil_striker ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:09:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't stop
Holothrasher ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:10:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An upvote just for being the commit king
Drink-my-koolaid ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:32:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmmm, "chepalm"... I may have to go to my lab and invent this...
NeedMoarCoffee ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:18:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then?!
Beerblebrox ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:22:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Elsewhere, a woman with a face like a sideways watermelon parked her car in the bike lane, crawled out the passenger side door, and started running."
ReyPolpo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:29:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do go on...
Beerblebrox ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 01:20:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The symptoms were ridiculous: ย
https://imgur.com/a/c0I6N
Perhaps because of this, no one had taken the disease seriously until it was too late.
But anything taken to an extreme can be deadly.
callmecraycray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no and then!
lawlessdwarf69 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:05:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At this point I'm convinced those are both your accounts
Zenkudai ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:07:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are like five accounts involved here.
xXDesyncXx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd watch this anime
jezzadickandjim ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:23:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I....I came.
MinoTux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And then what happened
Jayrotech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on....
veladem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Baby come back . . ." "Baby it's cold outside."
Amadeaz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:51:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This should be in r/writingprompts.
powerfulCollin ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:18:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get. To. The. Sex.
nvrdig ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:00:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woah now, don't do all of it for free.
gun-nut ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:40:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is very good and reminds me of The Hitchhiker Guide to the Galaxy
Edit: I've read some more and now it seems more like a mix between The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy and John Dies at the End
WolfStovez ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:24:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering his username, it fits
DiaDeLosMuertos ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:18:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ubersons food. I hope they still have the French bread i like.
Elongatedappendages ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit, with that username and your prose style, I'm not convinced that you aren't Douglas Adams.
Zergged ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reads like Douglas Adams, heh.
marilyn_morose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:56:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberson, well done there.
BoneHugsHominy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:59:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Love the Uberson name.
cowboydirtydan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait the robot was there before 2009?
eggtropy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost there...
Anthro_DragonFerrite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was what now?
aaaaazzzzz1111123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the plan Elon?
BiskyRiscuits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So nobody pointed out that the original prompt had a boy with the last name selfcheckoutaid who was having a conflict with the robot, yet your entire story is based off of the setting and history/future of a grocery store with a robot as the self check out aid.
MNGrrl ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-- This thread brought to you by Circlejerk Shitposterson, who feels that President TrumpBot 84 is too soft on roboimmigration. #MakeRoboDrumfGreatAgain
Phantomzero17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:57:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some call it the Omnissiah however, we know it as the Void Dragon.
Aedronn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a nice modern professional surname you got there, Mister Creepyphotographer. In the future it will gradually be corrupted into Criphtopher.
lotus522 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Go on
Obscu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...
Beerblebrox ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The dragon, who would only really be considered a dragon in this timeline, woke up on Sunday feeling more ornery than average. It's hard being a nearly omnipotent pan-dimensional shapeshifter trapped under literally the only thing you are less powerful than.
But in the game of Rock, Dragon, Grocery Store, grocery store beats dragon every time. Not only that, it prevents dragon from being able to use some of its other powers, including shapeshift.
It was an extremely unfortunate coincidence. In fact, in the entirety of spacetime, there had only been one coincidence worse than this...."
Tirigad ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:43:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude, this is perfect.
et842rhhs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on...!
iamthewhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant? Colossatron: Massive World Threat by Halfbrick Studios https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/colossatron-massive-world-threat/id680436745?mt=8
chops007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good bot
rustlemyjimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And we got ourselves a film!
TheBlindGuillotine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad this isnt on hiatus
Weiss13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just throw a javelin in him ffs
Ucantalas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Continue
OKDharmaBum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was really hoping for a novelty account to speak up. Paging u/mechdragon?
mechdragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:05:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is kind of awkward. However, people do manage to annoy me on a regular basis.
OKDharmaBum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew you'd answer my call
fraidknot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahah! Very Douglas Adams of you. I assume your name pays homage as well
heronumbertwo ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So the Drago took his giant dildo out and penetrated Tommy & stuck the other end in the robot's port.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's it
zatanamag ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:55:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep going.
daddyGDOG ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It wasn't until a personal visit from Peter Proctologist that things began to get weird.
evequest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Many decadea ago, at the dawn of the Robot Age, Man stood at the crossroads and pondered over such dilemmas. Who's to say the turn they took was ill-chosen? Not me."
buttcrusader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please tell me your username is a guide reference.
nizzbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:24:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If this doesn't end the robot needing Selfcheckoutattendant to finish a job because it can't detect items in a bag, I'll be sorely disappointed
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Beerblebrox ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 04:12:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am very sorry, but it's far too late to stop now.
OkiDokiTokiLoki ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:16:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go on
Carlos_Sees_You ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:42:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't, I mean the only writing prompt you seem to need is, "Go on". So please, go on.
IAmTheToastGod ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you want more go to /r/Writingprompts
mcawkward ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I killed him because the sun was in my eyes
Orion_7 ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 01:11:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't /r/WritingPrompts
Guyinapeacoat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:49:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UNIDENTIFIED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA. PLEASE REMOVE ITEM TO CONTINUE.
HereForTOMT ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:29:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A better prompt response than r/writingprompts
BLU3SKU1L ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:02:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Robert Cashier, arresting officer. You know my dad's great grandfather was a money changing man. It was a humble but proud profession. I hate to see this young man bringing shame to his family legacy..."
Rebecca102017 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome valued customers please scan your items and place them into the bagging area.
every1isanexpert ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:24:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Totally reminds me of Far Side comics. I miss those.
gaberz24 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:59:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out
Edit: almost...
FlingFlamBlam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arnold Selfcheckoutattendant, action star.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. And Mrs. Attendor
AprilMaria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
unduer a cursory glance it looks like a german name
spiningChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedwritingprompts
Laimbrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's German, isn't he?
MonkeyLegs13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget his more successful half brother Fred SoftwareDeveloper...
CaptClockobob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checks out.
Anenome5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Bobby Basementdweller.
suredoit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/writingprompts
TheyCallMeSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sandy McStripper
AMindAloof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Well Tommy, it's a pleasure to meet you. My name is Scott Hustlerman and have I got a deal for you."
Mustbhacks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant the 5th, because I'm sure by 2147 self checkout will have been a relic from the past!
KnotFunnyAtAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is hilarious, saving for later
Bash7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/writingprompts
Littaballofun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like your username. I have nothing further to add. Good day.
RogueColin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:43:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave it to Zaphod Beerblebrox to make a hitchikeresque short story
Drakmanka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn can you imagine if we still did the whole "last name based on your parent's last name" thing? Tommy Selfcheckoutattendant's kids would be Selfcheckoutattendantson and Selfcheckoutattendantdaughter respectively.
Beerblebrox ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 07:32:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus. You're absolutely right.
Counting Tommy, that's at least ten Ts between two kids. And what happens if they want to name the other one Tattiana?
BroItsJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would be Cashier...
Ghede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:34:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of something. It's like if David Wong wrote an entire book just containing soy sauce scenes, then tore it to pieces, and presented us with seven scraps of paper.
tamethewild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TOMMY SELVCHEK
theissingm ยท 978 points ยท Posted at 18:21:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then people could actually be called "Mr President."
bobbysq ยท 405 points ยท Posted at 22:41:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every president also ends up recorded in history with President as their last name, so kids end up learning about John President, George President, James President, William President, etc.
ThingYea ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 00:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure loads of kids would end up thinking America had a royal family with the last name President.
EI_Doctoro ยท 173 points ยท Posted at 22:57:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Donald J Godemperor.
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
weeps quietly for society
RogueVector ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:20:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like "Cheeto in Chief", "God Emperor" isn't a formal job title, just a nickname so it won't count.
anaconda386 ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 00:45:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Mr. OrangeOrator
buttegg ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:22:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Donald J. Grabbyhands?
iwillhavethat ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 03:31:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that was the Vice President, Joe Grabbyhands.
casprus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill grabbyhead
casprus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:13:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
House of Orange.
BroItsJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, he trumped them all sooooooo
animusradiation ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:42:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barack President sounds more like a black Japanese president than the first black American president
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 08:31:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obama-san de arimasu.
mrthrough ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:49:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iya, iya, Bama-chan de ii yo
PepsiColaRapist ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:40:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill raper.
IM_OK_AMA ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 01:00:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was more of a hobby
MillianaT ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:24:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I hope I get P in Scattergories, then.
glitternoodle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:00:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is underrated
FirstEstate ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:30:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If President was their shared name, wouldn't they be President I, President II, and President III, etc. all the way down like the Ptolemaic dynasty? Or would it become a title all over again like Caesar?
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:34:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's too bad Taft would be President XXXVII and not XL. That's Reagan.
holyerthanthou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 17:50:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still think Ronald President XL is absurdly appropriate.
sy029 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't they learn about George FormerPresident, or George DeadPresident?
kicknstab ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:44:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
don't forget President Presidentson son of former President President
MBCnerdcore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I voted for President President twice, but his son Presidentson is just too young to be a good President. It's unprecedented, son!
Brayden W. Presidentson won't last more than one term as President, son, even if he's President President's son!
Zebrabox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Preston President
JazzySpinalFusion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like something out of a sci-fi book. A lot of American history is destroyed, but historians think there was one leader who changed shape every four-eight years who's last name was President.
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a timelord. But instead of being the Doctor, he's the President.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:20:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget Vladimir President.
barktreep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. President VII
barath_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's how we wind up with George III, aka the W.
Or James VI
http://huffpost.com/us/entry/6681134
holyerthanthou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That stupid song is gonna be a fuckload easier.
ginganinja8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:23 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So...the Roman Empire?
Winterplatypus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Impeachment
BattlestarFaptastula ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:14:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to introduce our President, Mr Mister President.
helix19 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:44:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to howmanyofme.com, there are 937 people in the US with the last name President.
ashdean ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:06:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was gonna say, I've definitely had a customer with that last name. Tickled me to say "And how can I help you today Mr. President?" Gotta be amused by the little things.
ThePinkestPigglet ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:50:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if we had a president named something like Jack Congressman
thecrazysloth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:11:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, President Congressman
IsThatATrain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was actually a guy in my middle school named President, you can probably guess what his superlative in the yearbook was.
HerrXRDS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. President you said?
Winged_Gundark ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I worked at a bank, my manager told me a story about an old customer he worked with: he kept having to go back to court over minor offences (e.g. refusal to pay parking tickets, etc.).
In the end, had his last name legally changed to "President" for the sole fact that every time the Magistrate wanted to refer to him, would need to call him "Mr. President".
I'd say it was the most spite-filled power trip of all time, but you lot just put the next best thing into the Oval Office..
Nell_Trent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Covfefe
Mallow-kun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:16:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Maga
theyellowmeteor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:11:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Dr. President if they have a PhD.
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:35:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every Doctor would be "Dr. Doctor" That would be fucking confusing as all fuck. Imagine going to a hospital and trying to find your doctor when there are 50 "Dr. Doctor" in the hospital
PePziNL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:05:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
xsgerry ยท 17029 points ยท Posted at 19:12:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, the name's Sysadmin. JAMES Sysadmin.
closest ยท 3909 points ยท Posted at 22:07:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Sysadmin has two kids;
Baeyden Sysadmin
and
McMylettlyi Sysadmin-Vlogger
IanPPK ยท 2365 points ยท Posted at 22:12:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot his late child, rm -rf.
[deleted] ยท 1871 points ยท Posted at 22:29:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NoraaOnReddit ยท 536 points ยท Posted at 22:45:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean the one that went to stderr ?
bukkabukkabukka ยท 508 points ยท Posted at 22:55:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think it was a miscarriage, I think they piped the pregnancy to /dev/null
geeky_username ยท 127 points ยท Posted at 23:19:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I have a good name for a birth control brand
waywardwoodwork ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:35:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
chadderbox ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:15:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing a band called The Birth Control Band would have trouble getting gigs.
Rising_Swell ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 04:05:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, they'd always come but with no result
m477m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:40:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fsck -fy 2> /dev/null
bwoodcock ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:48:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You people are horrible. I like you.
Castun ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:16:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then you're a sysadmin at heart then!
bwoodcock ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:33:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope so. I've been doing it for a living since 1996.
Castun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:39:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...a stony, black heart then.
bwoodcock ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:54:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lost it in an upgrade years ago.
deusset ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:35:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just a period.
im_dead_sirius ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:52:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's because too much of its data came from /dev/random
nacho_grande ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:58:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/evenwithcontext
dylantherabbit2016 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/outside
Seralth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O its stillborn? Thats even worse ):
Da_Boom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:30:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope.. Piping a pregnancy to /dev/null would abort it...
espercharm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:24:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I started studying to become a sysadmin a few months ago and I'm so glad I understand at least some of these jokes.
hugs_hugs_hugs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a fire house baby
Little_Duckling ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
0101010001101111011011010110000101110100011011110010111101010100011011110110110101100001011010000111010001101111
Sophophilic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You sure they didn't fork it?
theidleidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Floppy Error: Abort, Retry, Fail?
cuteintern ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:06:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nohup.out
eurosid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this. Best laugh I had all week.
lolumwat ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:53:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'd be a hell of a botchling.
manskou ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:00:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
honestly, you have to be guilded for this
deputy1389 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea "miscarriage", you don't force a miscarriage. That's an abortion, friend
expatjake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Ctrl-Z (Command-Z on a Mac!)
LucidicShadow ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:17:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i ii ii i_
jaaaase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/R/isthisloss
bonjones ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That man had kids! Oh wait.. carry on
Fleckeri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially when you consider it suddenly miscarried its three older siblings who were, up until that point, otherwise happy and healthy.
dolphone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, son. Have an upvote.
monsieuRawr ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck. I am lol. Good sir
wolfman1911 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't rm -rf be a miscarriage that took the mother with it?
dood1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus I just spit out my coke to that one...
TheRealSmom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a SegFault
monkeybort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wouldn't that be ctrl+z?
wefearchange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And there goes my drink out my nose...
owiko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the abortion, kill -9?
DeepInOuterSpace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Child.dat corrupted
ohnodingbat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao
xmindallas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a miscarriage return and a line feed.
AkirIkasu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't remind him about rm -rf /. It took his wife too.
BroItsJesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:16:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't get it but I'm sure it's clever so I'll upvote it
blbd ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 22:54:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And definitely don't forget Little Bobby Tables:
https://xkcd.com/327/
brando56894 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:02:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always a good one, now 'sudo make me a sandwich'.
blbd ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:37:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
brando56894 is not on the sudoers list
this incident will be reported
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bash$ su
bash# make me a sandwich
Now you have to!
blbd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:10:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
su: login incorrect
walter_sobchak_tbl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:04:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Command not found
brando56894 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:06:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your $PATH must be messed up then or that's a bare bones installation, do you use Arch? hahaha
El-Kurto ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly not. He made it through a whole comment without mentioning it.
cyberjacob ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, just don't have sudo installed
WeylandCorp ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:24:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harem Dasheref
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's actually pronounced Rimraf
(seriously)
altaccountclosetgay ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody realizes that if his kid was named rm -rf he would have killed his parents too.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:09:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not parents, but his children, the children's children and so on.
-rjust says to delete contents from the bottom up until you reach the original directory. Continuing up the ancestry from there would be hilarious.DabneyEatsIt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you netstat -a to me???
DejahView ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was a *
DonLaFontainesGhost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's pronounced 'Rimdasharf'"
LaserGuidedPolarBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget little Bobby Tables https://xkcd.com/327/
Toilet2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go back to /r/linuxmasterrace
tbare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his other son, little Bobby Tables
de1pher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troublesome child, I heard
RazarTuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't she almost the sister of Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--?
sadcoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That escalated quickly!
JamesonG42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, good ol' Bobby Tables...
oversettDenee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby tables?
MirimeVene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:25:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And little Bobby Tables
kirillre4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vasectomy doesn't count as a child, James, we talked about that.
MorganWick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As well as his son Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--.
sonrad10 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his other child Robert'; DROP TABLE Students;--
itislupus89 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:36:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot about little Bobby tables
p9k ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:55:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ControlAltSysrqB "Connie" Sysadmin
brando56894 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:05:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and her sister Systemctl, "Sissy" for short.
Insert_Gnome_Here ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:58:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now Baeden. Let your sister speak.
Baedyn!
Renice -n 15 Baedyn
Yu4Golden ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:47:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby T. Sysadmin, guess his second name!
Obscu ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:26:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And little Timmy DROP_TABLES
Two-Tone- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about offspringd sysadmin?
sirgog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You forgot Bobby Tables
CedarCabPark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benedict Sysadmin
MrSyaoranLi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert '); DROP TABLE Students;--
But everyone calls him Bobby Tables
showyerbewbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's got a nephew that is such a little daemon.
JustJoeWiard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget little Bobby Tables!
Hypothesis_Null ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about little Bobby-Tables?
NiceGuyJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And little Bobby Droptables
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two kids makes him a Dadministrator.
OverweightShitlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about little Bobby Tables?
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:18:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
NO_TOUCHING__lol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:15:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DeVops
JPaulMora ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 23:19:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah I see Bobby Tables belongs here
WalkerBRiley ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:06:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Saw the OP, expanded the replies to see if this was here, 100% not disappointed.
Lyrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy eff same here.
theroguex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go back and look now, Bobby Tables is mentioned like 30 million times by people who don't read the comments before they post.
Ryltarr ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:21:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you do a direct image link? :(
Now they can't see the alt-text:
JPaulMora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah crap. First time xkcding sorry.
Ryltarr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:30:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No big deal. You should generally link to the comic's page not the image, that way they can see the alt text and (in subreddits where it's not banned) the xkcd bot can do its magic.
ProkeAssPitch ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:02:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And it wouldn't be pronounced like sys-administrator. It would be Sih-sadmen.
GummyKibble ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:08:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which is accurate, too.
thatguysoto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:32:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadmin actually sounds like a legit name. Pretty damn neat.
ProkeAssPitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe it's just my creative take on turning it into one. No idea how it'd actually change had it been real.
Antrikshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:13 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that how it's pronounced?
ProkeAssPitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:13 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's sis admin. Not sih sadmen
ihatedogs2 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:05:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it would be Sysadminson.
brando56894 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:07:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you forgot the second 'S' if you were going for the Scandinavian tradition aka Sysadminsson.
It could be McSysadmin or O'Sysadmin if you were going for the Scottish and Irish traditions haha
LukaLightBringer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
why? the son suffix is only added in cases where the surname is the name of the father.
aminoacetate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adminson has a nice ring to it.
Squadeep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Jameson?
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:13:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
xsgerry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:-D
SweetYellowCorn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:27:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the occupation of "cobbler" existing (one who repairs shoes), and ergo the surname Cobbler, which would have been a "re-booter" back in the day, and with the acronym "CPU" looking so much like the word "cup", we would wind up with "Cupcobbler" or "CupCobbler" (in the spirit of the Mc?_____'s out there) or "CP'Cobbler" (in the spirit of the O'?___'s, but pronounced either "cupcobbler" or "kipcobbler", depending on where you're from), all of which is extra pun-tastic considering many first-time users mistake the CD drive tray for a cup holder.
CapnJedSparrow ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:19:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read in Sean Connerys voice.
"The namesh Shysh Admin. Jamesh Shysh Admin"
DemandsBattletoads ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/shubreddit
JSturty45 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:44:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their kids' names are 14-21 characters and contain at least one uppercase, one lowercase, and one special character.
fshannon3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:22:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correct Horse Battery Staple?
Executioner1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, space is a special character
2DamnBig ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:06:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Linux Sysadmin
Nibodhika ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:35:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his two sons root and sudo.
mrdotkom ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sue Sudo
RuineBabines ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:05:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uncle Tar from the house of /dev/null
project_matthex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:17:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't think this xkcd has ever been more relevant.
Zooomz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait does James Bond come from a family of bondsman? That sort of makes sense.
dben89x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:23:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Formerly known as 4chan.
elriggo44 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the older variant: James Sysop
supamonkey77 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced: Psy-sa-d-mean?
Psy-sad-mean?
blue_strat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Their boom was in the AOL era, so it would probably be something like Syzz.
spribyl ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:04:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadminson
Sysadminia
ITGuyson
ITGuyia
Spirit_Theory ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lives right next to the AdGroup family.
fshannon3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:23:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they all live in a forest?
million100 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:49:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's surname ้ ่ค in Japan. it reads sudo.
securitywyrm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your company does user accounts by last name? My last name is Root.
Tobacconist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:39:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop throwing your sysadmin privilege in my face!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadmin is a pretty sick name actually
JaffGiraffe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could actually see that. Sysadminson.
MachReverb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, I'm Indy Nextlevel. I'm here to help.
flapanther33781 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Admin would roll off the tongue a lot better.
BethlehemShooter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And he works with Cody Coder, right?
Angelic_Doom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FIFY admin, Sysadmin, SUDO Sysadmin
hydroptix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:39:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an xkcd for that... https://xkcd.com/705/
IamPun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello ! I am Mr. Senior Sysadmin Jr. II
JamesOFarrell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you me?
trixypirate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My tombstone is going to say "Here lies Trixy P. Irate, sysadm."
candyman337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my name and that's what I'm going to college for, perfect
BardsApprentice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
S-sadman โน๏ธ
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like my operating systems free and open source, not closed.
Robbie-R ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Itguy
Halvus_I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Mr. Sysadmin, i expect you to die
uvestruz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby tables.
mycelimmaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Going to school to be a sysadmin, this was the first thing I thought of!
msieurmoustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, if your admin is Vietnamese, he could be named Anh Minh so I guess it already exists.
Lessthanzerofucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iโm a sysadmin, my father was a sysadmin, and his father threw his smartphone out the window when it started talking to him
chux4w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "Sizdmun."
Swizzle44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Sadmin
lavahot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Bobby tables we call him.
Easilycrazyhat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How would you pronounce that? Sigh-sad-min?
Christophurious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT guys are always named James
GFandango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samantha Webdev
GFandango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jamie GrowthHacker
DargeBaVarder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder
dbtizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve NetEngineer
kemushi_warui ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What a coincidence, I come from a long line of sysadmins!
But where are my manners? Pleased to meet you, I'm Bob Sysadminson.
apocalypsebuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Cody, Cody Coder
ercpck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he related to little Bobby Tables?
TheRedJoker93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Names cannot be that badass
aew360 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like half of Reddit works in IT
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Sysadmin, admin of the Sysdale Sysadmin?
FortyPercentTitanium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last of His Name
DesertHoboObiWan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fast forward a hundred years and It's just Sysamin.
mrdotkom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ay I'm James Sysadmin,
Nice to meet you fella
Foo9toninetyfinety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son of James Sysop.
mmrrbbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doug McAllister? No Doug Webmaster
achacha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No relation to Johnny O'drop database; ?
galfriday612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he related to Bobby Tables?
Psychast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby';DROPTABLE;
Preparingtocode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, the name's Testanalyst. Alex Testanalyst.
waynerooney501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you the secret hacker 4chan?
phil035 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got any good tales Mr. Sysadmin?
loki-1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and his kid would be Admin01
MrPoletski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ftfy?
jbsinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Database. Child's name: Drop.
Vibriofischeri ยท 10762 points ยท Posted at 20:25:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr PleaseSmashThatLikeButton
Lolis- ยท 2100 points ยท Posted at 22:49:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to subscribe
Icyartillary ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 00:25:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And make sure to hit that bell to become part of the notification squad
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 01:10:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHERE'S THE NOTIFICATION SQUAD AT?!
Qwertyowl ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:51:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOTIFICATION SQUAD, DAE?!
[deleted] ยท 133 points ยท Posted at 23:22:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[FART PRANK IN THE HOOD] [GONE SEXUAL]
kamikazeboom ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 23:50:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
boy would I kill for a sexual fart prank
lordg52 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:13:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm laughing harder than I should
defnotrando ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 00:05:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[GONE VIOLENT] [GONE WRONG] [GONE RIGHT]
tonyknoll ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:15:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[GONE LEFT]
PhilosopherJack ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:09:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Play ding-dong-ditch with the bell next to the subscribe button
DeusEverto ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:09:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Leviosaaaaaaaauuuuuuu
Blaaa5 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:07:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And leave a comment down below!
theawsomenator ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:48:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And only 2 days left to enter into my giftcard giveaway.
DrewRodez ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 03:51:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lycan Subscribe
DemandsBattletoads ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 02:38:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This comment is brought to you by Audible dot com, SquareSpare and the letter Q.
Speedmetal666 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:07:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And please sponsor me on Patreon at patreon.com/strugglingyoutuber
Pachyrhino_lakustai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget to click below to subscribe to the official doctor who YouTube channel.
Pokemoneuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And click the bell icon to be notified every time I upload a video!
cuteintern ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 23:09:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leif A. Lyke
Raymond_Who ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clever girl
Terakkon ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 10:23:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
ElGuapissimo ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 00:01:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Whatsgoodeverybodyitsyaboy
sintaroactual ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:15:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asmongold!
evilcheesypoof ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 00:07:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reminds me of a story I heard here about a little kid who was being put to bed by his parents, and when they said goodnight he said "don't forget to like and subscribe!" because he thought it meant goodbye.
He watched a lot of YouTube Minecraft lets plays.
Vibriofischeri ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:08:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually hilarious, imagine the look on his parents faces
sintaroactual ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 22:55:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else watching in 2017 xD
[deleted] ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 23:15:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
smookiedee ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:20:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah then explain how u know he commented that if he's the only one mr.smarton theinternet II
Serpexnessie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An enemy has been slain!
God_Kieren ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
JackedPirate ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:11:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
Serpexnessie ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:40:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triple kill!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:10:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fleckeri ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:36:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only this were literally the only one of this comment.
Serpexnessie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:40:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Double kill!
God_Kieren ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:08:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
Serpexnessie ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:41:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hexa kill!
God_Kieren ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:08:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
Serpexnessie ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:41:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quadra kill!
God_Kieren ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:08:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
Serpexnessie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:41:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penta kill!
Nazi_Zebra ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:33:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God comments like that. Like no my dude your the only one watching the video this year. Literally the only one
Serpexnessie ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:41:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hepta kill!
Millibyte_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... Ace?
YouDontSay007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Godlike
Skylord_ah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:42:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacks
double-o-awesome ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:26:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ugh, "Mr. Smash that Bell" is a dumb YouTube channel waiting to happen and I already hate it....
Vibriofischeri ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a youtuber myself but I try to be at least a little creative when I beg for support
double-o-awesome ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're an increasingly rare breed, then, my friend. Keep up the good work. What's your channel? I'll throw you a subscribe
Vibriofischeri ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:54:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my videos is actually in the top 10 on r/videos! It's the one about the cat tier list.
double-o-awesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice work! Subscribed and liked, brother!
Vibriofischeri ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:03:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but did you smash the like button tho xD
double-o-awesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smashed it like the Hulk, motherfucker!
amateur-dentist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dude this is exactly my type of humor, subbed.
feldspathoid ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:52:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link in bio like "Lincoln Bio"
kinokomushroom ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:04:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like if you want 1 day of good luck!
Reply if you want 7 days of good luck!!
Subscribe if you want 9999999999 days of good luck!!!
JohnnyCarsin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:01:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It's an old family name, but there's lots of history to it, so I don't want to change it. Just go ahead and make the cheque out to 'Peter Likecommentandsubscribe,' please. Hmm? Oh, yes, 2 'M's.
"I'm just lucky that my mother changed her name when she married my father, otherwise I'd be 'Peter Contractuallyobligatedcalltoaction.' Could you imagine if they'd merged their last names...?"
theideaofyou ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:01:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Merchlinkinbio
ultimatebob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:41:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, also known as "Social Media Manager". Gotcha. They tend to be friends with Mrs. Facebook, Mr. Instagram, and Ms. Twitter.
littlebitsofspider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his stepson, little Jimmy McClickbait.
defonline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Likebutton doesn't sound too bad for a surname.
ilPito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was hilarious
PoopedYourPantz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cobanermani456?
iamthewhite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit
Bouncing-Souls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone give this man some gold!
If I weren't poor I would, but I enjoy eating and electricity
JohnnyCarsin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... don't eat electricity.
lasersnark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do u wanna join my free gift card giveaway?
thr33pwood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Likeandsubscribe.
gabrielazul7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. MAKESURETOTURNNOTIFICATIONSONFORFUTUREUPLOADS
xargon666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:40:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well played
Scooopiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DON'T FORGET TO SMASH THAT MOTHERFUCKING LIKE BUTTON
AngelaOverThere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:26:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smashing for the username.
TomCruisein4Days ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:48:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Merch link in bio!
edrudathec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean? PleaseSmashThatLikeButton isn't a profession. You can't be a PleaseSmashThatLikeButton.
Never-endingtruth ยท 8642 points ยท Posted at 17:59:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 4356 points ยท Posted at 18:10:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Archer2408 ยท 2142 points ยท Posted at 18:40:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see the "Trust-Funds" are back in town
babybelly ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 23:51:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
parentsworth
Little_Duckling ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:37:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Assholes"
"No, they're still in Boca"
blubat26 ยท 655 points ยท Posted at 20:53:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello Mr and Mrs Jobs, it's nice to meet you"
"It's Mr and Mrs Jobless, not Jobs. We're unemployed, you see."
Jothay ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:22:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We come from a long line of Jobless'
AgentBlue14 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:11:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dad's name was Steve, mine is [groan of being fired from Apple], and my son's name is "MAGA". He's a little turd.
mmrrbbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Sans Jobs
MommysBigBoii ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 21:04:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but some pretentious twat is gonna insist that it's actually pronounced "Jobell". The S is french
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:27:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zdakat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:52:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Geobels?
SoxxoxSmox ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:42:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced "Yob-lay"
tricks_23 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jobs' parents?
johnarkless ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname is Arkless and this is a common autocorrect.
MightBeAProblem ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:31:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cousin to Ms. Disabled, previously married to Mr. Underemployed.
thinconsistency ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are those the new Mr. Men books?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was blowing some cat hair off my keyboard as I read this and ended up spitting
DangerGooch3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read this pronounced as "joebbles" and it was just as good.
topspeeder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jobless. Not related to Steve Jobs.
Samurai_light ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced: Jo-bliss'
rdldr1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They took our jerbs!
Broshinsky997 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy named jobman
2dark4u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jobless
TrueVerthandi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jobless?
algernon_moncrief ยท 827 points ยท Posted at 19:44:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eric Idle
Platypussy87 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:52:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sometimes, it's Billy Idol
HeyLookJollyRanchers ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:28:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not unemployed, he's pining
Lobster_fest ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:59:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's not pining, he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff. Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him go the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history. He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX PARROT!!!
PoiLethe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like a blackberry please
catloving ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 19:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rice Lied
georgke ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:35:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gary stationairy.
ShiftyRye27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always look on the bright side of life. Unemployed=more time for vidya
Darkassault2011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always look on the bright side of life
JSturty45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Idle
demostravius ยท 399 points ยท Posted at 19:51:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Dole, Mr. Dole.
reddragon105 ยท 202 points ยท Posted at 21:55:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Dole doesn't need this.
Biz2324 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Dole likes hearing people say Bob Dole. Bob Dole!
MiklaneTrane ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:44:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If Bob Dole didn't work "on the dole" into his pickup lines he was missing out bigly.
MattTheFlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a dirty old man back in the day.
Also holy shit that geezer is still alive
TheShittyBeatles ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:23:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I already told you, Senator Dole, you should not refer to yourself in the third person when speaking in public. It's a turnoff to the under 80 voters.
MrSlitherpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SQUAWKY!!! (Older users will recognize this from the Conan O'Brien show, summer of '96.)
oglafa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How much for a banana?
Symbolis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:42:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in "on the..."?
MooKids ยท 213 points ยท Posted at 18:11:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean "Entrepreneur".
gr89n ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my language Entreprenรธr means "Contractor" as in constructing, demolishing or otherwise carrying out construction work. Independent contractors we just call "konsulent" - this is where it gets confusing because we use that word for all these people
Edit: Business entrepreneurs we call "Grรผnder", but we do say they practice "entreprenรธrskap" (entrepreneurship), but this is a bit of confusing.
MooKids ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:10:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the US, an entrepreneur is usually someone who is self-employed, runs a small business or has a start-up business. While there are plenty of people who are legitimate in what they are doing, there are a small few who brag about being an "Entrepreneur", but are in fact unemployed or have the hopes of an unrealistic business (i.e. Record Label), but lack the capital or know how to run it.
In short, some people use entrepreneur as a euphemism for unemployed.
gr89n ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I got the joke but spelling it out isn't a waste of time - the word exists in many languages with different meanings.
I guess a direct translation from French would be "undertaker" (someone who undertakes), but that's not quite right :-)
cornu63 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:29:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No it's "art-major"
DavidRFZ ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 19:25:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert T. Drifter
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry Hobo
Unmanageable2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Laidoff
Vio_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Last name: Intern, First name: Un, Middle name: paid"
Deepcrater ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:08:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Betweenjobs
pot88888888s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jake 'Tweener.
Tweener would also be used for the in-between keyframe artists in animation.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:19:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into job land, where jobs grow on jobbies?!
Schaef93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Frank Neet
kimdotninja ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jobless
pot88888888s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Vagabond.
unobserved ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:33:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CripplingStudentDebt
Hattless ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:38:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a family with the last name "Poor".
nnytmm ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:50:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beggar
Im_A_Nidiot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone already said Uber
prickly-goo27 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr welfare
ILikeLenexa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Modern day "Snow".
vonHindenburg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Jobseeker" doesn't sound too bad.
55gure3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this
TrekkiMonstr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
elZaphod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Get a job, sir!"
weezermc78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname
DarkBladeRunner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Jobless. Or is that Jobless Bob?
barnun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The neighborhood's really gone downhill ever since that Walter Welfare and his family moved in."
calimero1845 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Jobseekers
TheKRAMNELLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Neet
Bradyhaha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Neet
BethlehemShooter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Charles Bum.
sfs40 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get a job Jerry.
ChivalrousBasterd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happens if there's multiple career paths, I wonder? John Couchman, John Clerk, John Student, John Journeycouchman, John Cubicle, John Mastercouchman, John Losthiscouchman, John Alleyboxman.
TitaniumDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Neet.
username112358 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neet
MySemanticSatiation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Wellfaire
tylerhauk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/mack_jurphy
Ciphtise ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O'Welfareman
Maleoppressor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:46:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Ethan Broke.
riddus ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:40:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm poor, somebody please gild this.
TheMagicMarkerMan ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thor and Helen Millennial.
MillennialHaterBot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These Millennials will be the death of us!
Night_Fires ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Username checkout
OrCurrentResident ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Basementson.
AirborneArie ยท 10426 points ยท Posted at 19:46:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HACKERMAN
griceylipper ยท 3528 points ยท Posted at 21:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure Ackermann is a real surname
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 1372 points ยท Posted at 22:12:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Khaki Dockerman
Spagetttomato ยท 943 points ยท Posted at 22:25:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot Saucerman
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 654 points ยท Posted at 22:26:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop Clockerman
thisrockismyboone ยท 1330 points ยท Posted at 22:27:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot Soccermom
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 22:28:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TEMP NAMERMAN
[deleted] ยท 92 points ยท Posted at 22:36:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 22:36:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steel Pizzaman
bubsd ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Post Nachoman
Gougaloupe ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:43:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shock Jockerman
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:47:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blog Gawkerman
mrwelchman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Letterman
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:50:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homeofthe Whopperman
Vic-tron ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Mikita, Stan
aco909 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pug Doberman
Piratebuttseckz ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:19:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DEY TERK ER JERBSerman
lessthan12parsecs ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:31:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck Clusterfuck.
AgentBlue14 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:04:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chokeme Daddyman
No_Little_Plans ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedcbb
QuantumOfSilence ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 22:39:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dank Memerman
richards440 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot fryingpan
QuantumOfSilence ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:45:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop lyingman
griceylipper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:41:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Metaman
hightbone90 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:59:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cop Swapperman
[deleted] ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:52:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wok Saucerman
DakotaRayne ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cop Shotaman
HaydenTheFox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underrated
311Natops ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:23:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Aukerman
dolyhicks ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:15:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott tacoman
ekidd07 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:42:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Todd Soccerman
ATG77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sock Hopperman
EarlGreyhair ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Tenorman
simplerhythm ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:58:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Nongman
sorry404 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:53:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HEMP GAMERMAN
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:05:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flip Flopperman
Drewbox ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:11:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benedict Cumberbatch?
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:16:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pumpernick bandersnatch
Steak_R_Me ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benadryl Cabbagepatch
zerospace1234114 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumberbitch Benderback
cohengabrieln ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:51:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Numbernip Thunderhatch
Golgo13goingon30 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of THAT NSFWish episode
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:07:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(ใเฒ ็เฒ )ใๅฝกโปโโป
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:54:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now lets say hello to our good friend, Reggie Watts.
mathmuser ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:53:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Aukerman
Kid_Koon ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:06:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Soccermoms were a typical American family.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:54:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Font Jokerman
ShockinglyEfficient ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:40:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Choctaw!
catalit ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:38:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flameo Hotman
doctor_why ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stop Tacoman
notpetelambert ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 03:24:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes please
Best_usernameever ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:52:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lock pickerson
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:52:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scarf Knitterman
sixtninecoug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holdup Shopperman
wilbyr ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:41:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my people are here
YOUR_MORAL_BAROMETER ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 23:09:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are also over here >>>/r/Earwolf
Browncoatdan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:43:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flip Floperman
ywkwpwnw ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:51:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zap Branagan
sexfart ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:34:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pop Lockerman
galacticboy2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I need this name.
WayofalexGaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take notes, Capcom
buffalo32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Spaceman
augustwest78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Morton Sriracha
Bolololol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Zipperman
IrishPrime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She sounds hideous.
Caesarjamesss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/unexpectedchoctaw
Totalynota5yearold ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That could also be the name of a male porn star
Bl4Z3D_d0Nut311 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But only fetish porn, kinda like the name "Totallynota5yearold"
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That actually sounds like a real name.
METOOTHANKleS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Khaki Dockerman, Ned! On an open field!!!
too_much_2na ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shot Blockerman
enlightenedpie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cock Blockerman
NiceGuyJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bolt Vanderhuge
potato_is_toxic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dockterman
Drink-my-koolaid ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:41:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, that sounds hideous :)
[deleted] ยท 236 points ยท Posted at 22:19:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Akkerman literally means Fieldman (as in agricultural field, so basically farmer) in Dutch!
One of the famous people with this name is off his rocker guitarist Jan Akkerman
munchmills ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same in german. And it also means (hard) Wokringman.
Zweiffel ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:11:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Ackermann' is the german version. I suppose most people in Germany would associate the name with bankers though nowadays (instead of fieldmen).
gharmonica ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:29:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A shame I had to scroll this far down to find a mention of Jan Akkerman.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:34:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
better late than never my friend ^.^
griceylipper ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:21:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha - Fieldman, I love that! Where I'm from nearly all the names are derived from patronymics, so they're never quite as interesting as ones like these.
Nietzsche_Pizza ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:32:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which I would bet a million dollars is related to the English word acre and which I can extrapolate to be the equivalent to the English surname Acreman. Basically, I want you to give me a million dollars.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would if I could!
griceylipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've done a quick check of Wiktionary, and you seem to be right - both come from the Proto-Germanic *akraz, meaning field, open land. Unfortunately, I don't have a million dollars to spare.
bananaswelfare ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:55:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is related to latin ager agri which makes the root of agriculture. You don't see latin and protogermanic roots that close often.
coyotecrazie5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell did I just watch? Awesome!
AMeijer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here to say this, thanks for explaining!
osxthrowawayagain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like รฅkerman, not that we use that word for it, but it makes sense.
SaryuSaryu ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now that most people use metric it would have to be hectareman.
coyotecrazie5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the hell did I just watch? Awesome!
LocoKoko182 ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 22:13:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've only heard it from Attack on Titan. Nowhere in real life.
Edit: Shit, lot of ackermans in the world. TIL.
DeVilleBT ยท 105 points ยท Posted at 22:36:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's german.
SoLongThanks4Fish ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:52:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am german know people called Ackermann
Grynsverd3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:03:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is an Akerman in my classroom too, and I live in Brazil.
ihatedogs2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:07:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they like to bring up 7-1?
inspectorseantime ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:44:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh fuck
Grynsverd3 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:47:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, although our names vary from Nakamura and Li to Belotti and Hรคssmann, we are all Brazilian so we cry together in the one-minute silence before every class in memory of that tragic day
NoddysShardblade ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:13:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots of German references in Attack on Titan. Jaeger comes from the German word for "hunter".
LocoKoko182 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:37:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I assumed it was, because of the -mann ending. I just never met anyone with the name.
Ivan_Joiderpus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:12:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In America it got shortened to Ackerman. We've had a guy on the news in Oregon for years named Ken Ackerman.
thisrockismyboone ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:28:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never seen comedy bang bang?
MaNikkar ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:39:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that a sex scene with clowns?
LocoKoko182 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:30:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Never even heard of that.
Malicious_Koala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Podcast is 10/10
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally the first time I'm hearing of it.
thisrockismyboone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't ask you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just figured an additional comment would help determine how popular the thing actually is or not.
thisrockismyboone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's incredibly popular.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well TIL about this incredibly popular thing I never heard about or heard anyone else ever talk about online or in person.
thisrockismyboone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:00:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure there are a lot of things you've heard of that I haven't.
feliscat ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:56:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a terrible joke.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:47:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apart from being the name of Levi, Kenny, Mikasa, and others, it's also the name of a famous mathematician.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:20:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
spoiler tag that ish
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, my life is over. I thought that badassery was probably tied, but now I know, fml
zatanamag ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:51:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amy Ackerman played Fred on Angel.
LeoWattenberg ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:57:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You opened yourself up to get mentions about all notable Ackermanns there are. So here they are: https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ackermann
codychro ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:39:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Ackermann of Comedy Bang Bang!
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Scott Aukerman
I'm sure it's related though.
codychro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit
Rahzmataz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:53:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher with the last name Ackerman. UK, if that makes a difference.
TheSeaBeast_96 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:32:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know an Ackerman irl. From Georgia, USA.
anyburger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know one from the south as well.
thanibomb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a bunch of people with that surname.
Yodiddlyyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend with that last name, in the US
DrTouchYourKids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I literally just had this conversation about an hour ago...
huntdawgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend with that name
vantablacc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was Chantal Akerman the director
TheMiniLiar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a real person with that last name
Cocomorph ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:07:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is. But did you learn of it from the Ackermann function or Ackermann steering?
hypnodrew ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:31:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just popping in to say I first heard of the surname due to Attack on Titan
griceylipper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The function for me. My head starts to hurt when I try to figure out the ridiculous amount of recursion.
NickJerrison ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Red Alert.
Let's screw 'em all!
Divinum_Fulmen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This needs more upvotes. It's about as relevant as you could possibly get here.
TRNielson ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:27:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like anyone with the last Ackermann has to be a top-notch Titan slayer.
BananafishGlass ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:42:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And also top notch Best Girl.
BlatantConservative ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:04:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get you a girl who strikes fear into the hearts of mortals and immortals alike
Sir_Pwnington ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:56:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you made a mistake there. Sasha's last name isn't Ackermann.
doucheberry000 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:30:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You misspelled Annie, but yeah, her last name really isn't Ackermann.
Marty445 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:38:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Potato girl is best girl
BananafishGlass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me tell you a truth; both are best girl.
TRNielson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. I'm still torn between Christa and Ymir. Annie is also pretty awesome.
parker604 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:46:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you up to date on the series?
BananafishGlass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:20:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer Historia, myself.
TRNielson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is it okay to have both?
top_koala ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:57:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sie das essen der der der der der
JAEGAR!
ZMush ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:21:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haider Ackermann
zdakat ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:45:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So their first name is just "H"?
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:07:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See: Attack on Titan
l1m3z0r ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:30:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sure is, the former chief executive officer of Deutsche Bank is called Ackermann! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josef_Ackermann
SneezyDeezyMc_Deluxe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:12:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman is too. There's a building on my university campus named after Norman Hackerman.
griceylipper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even cooler!
AndrewZabar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yes Ackerman is definitely a very common surname.
wilbyr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:42:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
malin akerman. close enough
CarelessCourier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:13:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ร kerman. ร is closer to O than A, so not that close.
Ipunchfreely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:19:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ร kerman is the Swedish version of Ackerman, still means field man
KittenOnTheRoof ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a very common surname in Germany
BACEXXXXXX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure is. As are Ackerman, Aukerman, and Aukermann.
SkyySkip ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep, got a friend with that surname
Mechanicalmind ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:58:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: Ackermann is a wine maker from East France (around the area of Saumur, region of Maine et Loire).
Personal experience: Their sparkling white isn't bad (but I prefer a good Valdobbiadene Prosecco or Black Pinot winified in white from Italy), it's a champigny method wine (not a champagne because it's not where champagne is made).
Edit: actually West France. Sorry.
Ackerman77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm...
griceylipper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:00:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wahay!
Tsalikon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine is Ackerman :)
LovingThatPlaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know of two separate Ackerman families that live in my town
322Uchiha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heichou
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm an ackerman
brando56894 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It definitely is, I worked with a Robyn Ackerman and then there is the gorgeous Malin Ackerman.
wefearchange ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Malin is real.
Biggg_D21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friend has this name so yes you would be correct
CritJongUn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a computing problem with that name
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scott Ackerman
Mike-Oxenfire ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm
Scott AukermanHot SaucermanKeksliebhaber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stands for plowman in German!
water_law ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i know hackborn is real surname
IamALolcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My grandma's maiden name is Hackman. Close enough right?
DarkaHollow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:25:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
get a middle name with H in it. John H. Ackerman
Ord8377 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Akkerman, they make fountain pen ink
Onlyhereforthelaughs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
H. Ackermann
PM-ME-HAPPY-TURTLES ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've met an Eckerman a few moons ago.
andi9x17 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Very common in areas where people speak German and dutch.
ace10032000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Screaming fangirls intensifies
SeredW ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:39:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Akker (Dutch) or Acker (German) means field, as in a farmers' field to grow wheat or some such. Someone with the German surname Ackermann is quite probably a descendant from a farmer or farmers' hand. (also note the link to the word 'acre')
In Dutch, we have the surname Akkerman but it is relativey rare when compared to the rather common surname 'De Boer', which is literally 'The Farmer'.
TedAlBundy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:12:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He didn't say Ackermann though.
griceylipper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They sound at least vaguely similar?
TedAlBundy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:16:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True, but they obviously wouldn't mean the same thing at all.
r34changedmylife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm; work with one
griceylipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do they hack?
r34changedmylife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:49:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah they wait on
Evan-Arthur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got a friend with that last name...
Fellidae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my coworkers is named Ackerman.
stabby_joe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anything is a real surname if you name someone that
griceylipper ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:47:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
xsibleyx08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew an ackerman growing up. She was the mean girl across the street.
ktemena ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. But the basketball coach/history/leadership teacher at my high school had one n in his last name.
ludonarrator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And also a maths function.
griceylipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Named after a guy with the surname Ackermann
qwamqwamqwam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Acker and Blacker.
WalkingTarget ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have friends with Hacker and Ackerman as last names.
letsgoiowa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a Hannah Ackerman (similar spelling). Attendance listed her as H. ACKERMAN
HickRarrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was that teacher from the one episode of icarly who dated spencer, she was an ackerman
deynataggerung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, know someone with that last name
steezylovejoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chantal Ackerman, incredible avant-grade filmmaker.
Blue_Moon_Rabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is and dude makes some sweet videos. Check out 'turbo killer' by carpenter brut. Can't remember his first name, but an Ackerman did the music video for it.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know an Achterman.
Logstick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm. I date an Ackerman.
lunarfizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heynong man
DoubleDippinAssDippa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's up, hot dog?
Nirconus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure that was the joke
mateo1323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Jamaican version
MrAlfredo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bugs me to no end that the name on his door read "HACKERMAN" instead of being a name plaque for "H. Ackermann"
Could've even kept the "HACKERMAN" splash screen when he turns around and it would've been just as funny.
Oxideist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is, but if he was named after his profession my friend would be named "Mech" instead.
SpaceDog777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vote for me if you want to live!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean that Attack on Titan character?
Giggles_Shits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mikasa!!!
OminousMass23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Attack on Titan
_1st_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PEPSI MAN
_orbus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ackerman)
Gbiknel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah didn't he play for the cowboys?
RlSE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haider my boy
Alexovsky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scratch my backerman
krangozali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mikasa Ackerman.
mrCrapFactory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought for a minute you might be a fan of Gloucester Rugby
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:41:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But he ackert, not hack'd
orionsbelt05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:23:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The superior bloodline.
songoku9001 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:43:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pesky Americans usually dropping the h at start of words, 'erb instead of herb.
griceylipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet, vehicle is ve-HICle. I don't get it.
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Always"? 'enry 'iggins would like a word with you. "Herb" is the only one we do it with!
ObeyMyBrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your Honer, I don't think this person is being honest this hour and should not be considered an heir to the vocabulary throne.
MagnusRune ยท 425 points ยท Posted at 22:14:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But can they hack time?
JRockstar50 ยท 537 points ยท Posted at 22:30:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using an RX modulator, he might be able to conduct a mainframe cell direct and hack the uplink to the download.
cuckoose ยท 288 points ยท Posted at 22:34:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
God I love that movies non-sensical perfectness.
spitfire451 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 22:51:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/vxjunkies
This_Charmless_Man ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:06:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this place?
Kiesa5 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 23:46:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you've never turbocambulated your mechanic primer, it's not a place for you.
spekter299 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:58:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if instead I recalibrated my overdrive capacitor by cross referencing the superconductor node because it's more efficient?
Alaskan_Thunder ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 01:12:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you are now a moderator of /r/vxjunkies
skywarka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:29:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's risky, make sure you correctly polarize the memory coil on both components, otherwise the reverse proxy might feed back into the inversion matrix.
Martel732 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:29:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why would you cross reference the superconducter node? If you are off by even 1% it could create a polyionic cascading feedback loop, it could easily fry the capacitor. It would be much better to add a nano-silicon bridge right before the node. It would take some work but would safely boost efficiency.
brando56894 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:26:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I this where I can learn more about the Rockwell Retro Encabulator?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w
Mitraosa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:28:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, but as many have aptly noted: if you don't modify the magnetoreistant arm in accordance with the sinusoidal vector differential before use, you're gonna have a bad time.
brando56894 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:49 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind!
cuckoose ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your a good.
josut ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:35:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is this movie
im_so_not_creative ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:44:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kung Fury, it's free on YouTube
datenschwanz ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:28:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this the police?
cuckoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:31:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NO ITS PATRICK
Mex-Box ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:06:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kung-Fury?
cuckoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes
AManHasSpoken ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:06:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just like a time machine!
BaconPowder ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:19:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you also have to modify the phase variance?
skyspydude1 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:44:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/VXjunkies is turboencabulating again
Rfvbgt69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sub really gets my marzleplane refractionated
ProRebornYT ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:54:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thus, I may be able to hack SPACE AND TIME!
malaise_forever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
typing sound intensifies
asmodeuskraemer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:45:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer here.
All those words together made my head spin.
CleverTeller ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:53:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shut the fuck up
asmodeuskraemer ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:53:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
..no?
T4O4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:01:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this a thing? If it's not, why be so rude?
asmodeuskraemer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:11:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm missing something somewhere. I suspect, from a different comment, that people like the crazy science dialog. That being said, no, it's not a real thing.
T4O4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw pretty much the same thing in another thread elsewhere the other day, "Shut the fuck up" replying to a normal comment like it is here. Kinda weird lol
nannal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So we have a receive modulator, and using this we might be able to conduct a mainframe cell direct?
Like fuck mate, it's a receiver module.
You need a TX modulator, using that you could create a standard unicast packet and arpspoof the mainframes cell which could allow you to redirect traffic to the download server, as long as they're using plaintext you can then steal the time hacking secrets, but if it's encrypted I'll have to break out some GPUs and bruteforce that puppy.
If their keylength is long (I've started to default to 8192 ) then we could be looking at years before the data is readable, but for time hacking secrets, it's worth the wait.
Unexpected_Anakin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
E=MC3
MiningdiamondsVIII ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:59:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ZA WARUDO
smahoogian ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:52:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIME
2
HACK
imjusta_bill ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:11:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that you Lawrence?
Pirate_King_Mugiwara ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:48:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's been watching Kung Fury.
SppokyJungleMan ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:26:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THE MOST POWERFUL HACKER OF ALL TIME
boardgamehoarder ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname is Hacker.
I work in IT.
The novelty wore off in about 1988.
melodromedary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What awesome board games are you currently hoarding? I just got back into gaming and started my collection up, then suddenly lost my job. No hoarding for me. It's come down to Goodwill finds and clearance shelves at Walgreens. :-(
Oh, and my surnames not Hacker, but I did spend the last 25 yrs in IT also. lol
Bibbus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:04:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given only to the most powerful in the world
Richjl22 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:18:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm in."
Apocalypse487x ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker is a name
chaosbutters ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:40:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you
Darktigr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you too!
AirborneArie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love you both
RatchetBird ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:59:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're hacking too much time!!
xizrtilhh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:30:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laser Raptors, fuck.
Unexpected_Anakin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be in the Viking Age.
karmisson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:39:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerperson
HANDSOME_ITALIAN ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Siracha Saucerman
MouldyOnion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:53:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackman is a real surname, admittedly I've only seen it once.
SimplyNigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marika Hackman? I love the sapphic direction she's going with her music now.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough?
PB_and_aids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/masterhacker
griceylipper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/masteracker
emcapi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know there's a brand of beer named Hacker-Pschorr, evidently someone has the last name Hacker out there...
Mdumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hakermanson.
ScienceQ_A ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
4chan Hackerman, the infamous!
YuGiOhippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah the famous Forchan Hackerman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://hackerman.online/
The one and only.
Grognard68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CODER....
janetplanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a family, in my hometown, with the last name Hacker.
Crimson-Carnage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like Coderboy...
divyanshgaur3196 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mitch Programmer
Broskifity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"A hacker named 4chan."
defiantcross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or like, Hackman
smaller_fries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Made me think of this building named after an American chemist with this last name.
Sprickels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well there's Gene Hackman
softeky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Malware Mr. Blackhat Ms. Whitehat Miss Spammer Mrs. Phisher
mojavespider25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the small town where I'm from, Hackman is a popular last name among farmers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to Oprah, 4Chan already exists as a surname...or first name...or whatever the heck she said
ogrelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like "Tweetering"
a__b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most likely this would get shorten to: Hackman
Christompa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The hacker known as 4-chan?
world_crusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name's 4chan. 4chan Hackmerman.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've known Hacketts. Could be easily changed to HackIt.
cleavethebeav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeff HACKERMAN2000
docsnavely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that the same Hackerman as that loser 4chan?
ariesangel0329 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: one of the co-authors for the book Rules for Writers is named Diana Hacker. So it exists!
icemancommeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes, the notorious criminal Gene Hackman
coocoonoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jugh Hackman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker is a real last name :)
reference: Severin Hacker
TheDwarvenGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The hacker known as 4chan"
techhit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GENE HACKERMAN?
CallMe_B-Rad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Summers I work at a convention, prior to this we put stickers with participants names on a packet for everyone to pick up, someone had the last name Hackman, was difficult to not laugh a lil when I finally met him.
PhoenixE42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a teacher in high school whose last name was Hackman.
Thrishmal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of the Philly Hackermen?
djchaiwallah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just Hackman
clowdstryfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gene Hackman
BoofingPalcohol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So now I'm concerned about hugh jackman...
weeksAskew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman? I hardly know 'er!
choppingboardham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman. Hackerman. Hackerman hates Firewallman. They have a fight, Hackerman wins. Hackerman.
barktreep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BEGGARMAN
aldaruna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, 4Chan Hackerman.
ShenaniganSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mikasa?
BananaChalkDelta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My school has a building called the Hackerman building...
claudiusbritannicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:19:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually met someone called Hackerman (I'm not sure if that was the actual spelling.) And there was also a scientist called Margherita Hack, which is a cool surname.
twatwaffletx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:37:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget his hacker glove
I_am_Carvallo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:32:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
or his less well known semi-retarded cousin, heckerman
TXDRMST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny 4Chan
HyperbolicEmissions ยท 8861 points ยท Posted at 17:56:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
lambdaknight ยท 2368 points ยท Posted at 21:01:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer Codewright.
[deleted] ยท 930 points ยท Posted at 23:20:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
sodiumvapour ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:01:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimothy Codesmith. I LIKE it.
NotThisFucker ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 03:43:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somebody has to actually have that name. Not quite a Timothy, not quite a James.
spriteburn ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 04:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A-aron
Paladin_of_Trump ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 05:00:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
J Quellen
arnedh ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:57:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer Geomothy. More classical.
NotThisFucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's mothmatical
AncientSwordRage ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:35:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least once
Average_Giant ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 00:03:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
m'neckbeard
brando56894 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 01:16:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McNeckbeard has a better ring to it.
NotThisFucker ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 03:41:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, I'd like a McDoubleChin, and some Fedora Feather Nuggets, with a M'Tea.
ajnaazeer ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 01:02:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codewright would be correct, codesmith would be someone who hits codes.
Rob_Cartman ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 01:18:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In my experience i usually do feel like hitting the code.
NotThisFucker ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:44:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Virtual Percussive Maintenance (VPM), we calls it
Lev_Astov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I think both work depending on the type of coding one does. A smith tends to rework things, forming them into a finished product. A wright takes parts and fits them together into a finished product. At least that's my understanding of it. I can think of definite codesmiths and codewrights.
cryokin ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:01:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemancer.
NotThisFucker ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 03:45:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you bring a legacy application back into production
arson_cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:56:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
adjusts glasses
Actually, that would mean "predicts future with the power of code".
2Punx2Furious ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:58:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeartisan.
SimbaOnSteroids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer wizard, magician but my favorites are God and Lord-Almighty.
_jk_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:02:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and software sales could be Codemonger
iamsooldithurts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:20:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it!
elZaphod ยท 579 points ยท Posted at 22:53:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure beats Codemonkey.
Frito_feet ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 23:56:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey get up, get coffee. Codemonkey go to job.
alvinovitchq ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 00:09:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey have boring meeting
DashCat9 ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 00:21:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With boring manager Rob.
Woodhead79 ยท 36 points ยท Posted at 00:37:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
klparrot ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:47:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
but his output stink.
barnum ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 00:52:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
his code not functional or elegant
normalfag ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 01:04:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do codemonkey think?
Ditto_B ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 01:34:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey think maybe manager want to write god damn login page himself
AdvocateSaint ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:12:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey not say it out loud
Krogdordaburninator ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 02:40:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey not crazy, just proud.
Frito_feet ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:55:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey like Fritos
jimbotherisenclown ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:17:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
mommy1967 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:19:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey very simple man.
nevra_moire ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 03:19:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With big warm fuzzy secret heart.
imbignate ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 03:20:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey like you....
JacobiCarter ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 06:32:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey hang around at front desk
theczolgoszsociety ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 07:15:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tell you sweater look nice
baklavainabalaclava ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 08:19:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey offer buy you soda
Fripomanic ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 09:01:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bring you cup, bring you ice
baklavainabalaclava ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 09:53:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You say no thank you for the soda cause
Frito_feet ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 11:12:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soda make you fat
jimbotherisenclown ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:57:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyway you busy with the telephone
PudgeCake ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 14:20:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No time for chat.
DashCat9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 15:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code monkey have long walk back to cubicle
jimbotherisenclown ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 15:54:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He sit down pretend to work
baklavainabalaclava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:12:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey not thinking so straight
Kamala_Metamorph ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:08:18 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey not feeling so great.
jimbotherisenclown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:49:17 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey like Fritos
baklavainabalaclava ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:51:28 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew
nevra_moire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:10:49 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey very simple man
Kamala_Metamorph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:30:14 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big warm fuzzy secret heart
jimbotherisenclown ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:49:14 on September 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Monkey like you.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do code monkey think?
CedarWolf ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yay! Something new for /r/RedditSings!
elZaphod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminded me of this old SNL skit: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/snl-bathroom-monkey/82181252/
geeky_username ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:21:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scriptkid
Etheo ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:02:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scriptlad.
Combustible_Lemon1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wew
TitanRaven ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:33:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. John Edward Scriptkiddie M.D.
DilatedTeachers ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:13:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"oi, Sure Codelad! Stop beating that monkey!"
Edit forgot a "
Raizken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keyboardjockie
Jozarin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sure beats codeninja
Schnort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody beats the code monkey.
c4ctus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or in my case, Reportsbitch.
8yr0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code monkey like Tab and Mt. Dew.
twisted_memories ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkey get up get coffee...
Edit: awe all the codemonkey comments weren't showing up on my ap :(
OK6502 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:15:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemancer
Krail ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:34:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like it. A Codewright writes code.
divv ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just like how a shipwright, writes ships!
Jozarin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No a codewright wreaks code
Krail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:17:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wreaks, really? Is that the word for building or crafting something?
phphulk ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:40:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Added that to the list
BlueBokChoy ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:43:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/anglish is leaking
Mummelpuffin ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 23:15:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know about programming, I know about codelore.
WasabiofIP ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:49:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant
Neocrasher ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:43:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code definitely has Latin (or older) roots. Just compare it to "codex".
is_is_not_karmanaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codex (code x) is just an etymological derivation of codey, the British English adjective.
degjo ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:29:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codewright? Codewright?
where are these people?
MachReverb ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I say, "CODEWRIGHT!". No one answer. She say curse word and hang up.
prototypetolyfe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who's Codewright?
tnyzoom94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Codewright
prototypetolyfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're not Codewright
hrentbignight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codewell
Netzapper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
True story: when my first wife and I were discussing last names, my suggestion was that we both change our names to Codewright.
Since she was a nurse, she wasn't into it.
lightwhite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the first person to pass the coding rite write wright right.
ILikeLenexa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Softwaremoulder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wouldn't it be Codewrite though?
gimpwiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in Playwright, not writer or plays.
Jason_OT ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or millwright.
gimpwiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like Codewrong hyuk hyuk hyuk
Etheo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well the name playwright would translate to progwright, no?
Jason_OT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better than software "engineer" for 90% of the profession.
01101001100101101001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitherd
I_love_pillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sound cool
itshorriblebeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeswain?
theidleidol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitwright would be super sweet actually.
JamesonG42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Stack Overflow Codewright, but you can call me "Stack O' Code" for short.
jabuntux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:54:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As often as I'm having errors in my code my name would be Codewrong.
Kirbyintron ยท 2534 points ยท Posted at 19:52:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This actually doesn't have that bad a ring to it
SatinwithLatin ยท 1083 points ยท Posted at 20:20:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds kinda badass if you imagine it as a character in a film.
OmegaEinhorn ยท 1414 points ยท Posted at 20:30:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sylvester Stallone is Austin Coder.
Coming to theaters this December.
Rated PG-13
rocketmantan ยท 878 points ยท Posted at 20:38:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HTF1209 ยท 477 points ยท Posted at 21:12:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody said anything about computers. The movie plays post WWIII where this is a common name but he is actually a smith.
anonymousssss ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:29:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The premise is that society is being re-organized again and people are taking on the last names of their professions.
HTF1209 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:37:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe Austin Coders great grandfather was a software engineer before the war.
wedontlikespaces ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:40:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A war brought on by a AI to rid the world of humans.
If only they had listened to the AI sceptic Alan shallweplayagame. Then all this my have been averted.
Jozarin ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:24:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That sounds like a dystopia nothanks
itl-lmfao ยท 194 points ยท Posted at 20:59:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keanu...
SecondPantsAccount ยท 153 points ยท Posted at 21:23:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...as Woah Coder!
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:50:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ted Theodore Coder
3jt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Kanye as Voah Coder?
ambivouac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm sorry, you said your name was woke odor?!"
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...in Breakpoint!
wittymcusername ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:52:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced Vocoder, you crazy kraut!
Cyno01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember that one where he was a nuclear physicist?
Memberberrybot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I member!
Member Reagan??
ywkwpwnw ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I member!
Silverton13 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:15:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Driver, theres another one.
box-of-stars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was actually recently in a movie where Driver played a bus driver named Paterson that drives a bus around the town of Paterson, NJ.
TyeDyeShirtKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I thought Jesse Eisenberg did great.
harleycurnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same person.
lofabread1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse Eisenberg, maybe?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jesse eisenberg
triface1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure Adam portrays a bitching driver as well.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was pretty good in Patterson...
RadioFreeReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse Esienberg
caninehere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're so late to the party. Michael Cera is Marlon Brando, now.
CAPS_LOCK_OR_DIE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ben Wishaw would like a serious word with you.
LethalVox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse Eisenberg, maybe?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Hiddleston could probably do it too.
And idk, I've known some pretty buff programmers in my time.
DegenerateWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you; Jesse Eisenberg
SimbaOnSteroids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Driver is the C-programmer.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:28:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Justin Long obviously
gdan95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would totally buy former Marine Adam Driver as a computer person
BabiCarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rami Malek?
Vencer_wrightmage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Bay wanted me to believe that Mark Wahlberg is a genius engineer/inventor that can work with cybertronian-level techs for some reason.
ConnorRoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse Eisenberg also, but definitely not Stallone.
WalditRook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:17:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I resent that - us programmers are just like regular people, only with emotions replaced by the ability to read hex.
g_eazybakeoven ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:14:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Implying that saggy ballsack lookin Stallone could portray anything more than Rambo is the real joke here
Heavyhiking26 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone who isn't over 70 years old IS Austin Coder! Coming to theatres July 4th.
Jaxonian ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:52:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chip Coder!
qweoin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lotharmat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read that in an incredibly deep, sonorous voice!
RIP_inPeace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had me hooked till that PG-13 rating.
-eagle73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds a little like "I stink odour" in my accent.
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
mamalovesyosocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As long as it's better than "Don't Move or My Mom Will Shoot!" I'm in.
Pako21green ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Autistic Coder. Probably the next "Rain Man". Get me Dustin Hoffman stat!
DanGoesOnline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:39:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
featuring Rob Schneider as the Stapler
vIKz2 ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 20:29:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex Coder
sharpshooter999 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:13:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if Coder is the first name and the surname is Hackman? Like Gene Hackman, Coder Hackman?
2ii2ky ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 20:46:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barry Coder? Get it? Like Barracuda hahahahahaha.. hah a......... ha...
abigaildoll ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barcode
JDNB82 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is why we can't have nice things, Barry! You asshole!
TheNotSoSilentPoet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was it bad other Barry ? Yes other Barry, yes it was
Cue scheme to kill Sterling
leastlikelyllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to commit.
stoned_ocelot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's almost my name in reverse.
Future_Jared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa, Barry Coder
Jcallahan71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No.
2ii2ky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:(
flxtr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barry McCockinner
MommysBigBoii ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:02:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Coder the badass basement dweller
Windows_97 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his brother Jonathon Coder.
ShetlandJames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harold Coder
_Charlie_Sheen_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah no I picture a fat guy in a trench coat and sunglasses who thinks he's from the matrix
brneyedgrrl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder. Spykid, race car driver, animal lover, best friend of Pete Paparazzi. That's a whole 'nother story, though.
PM_MeUrSuccessSecret ยท 188 points ยท Posted at 20:50:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, someone should change their last name to Coder, have kids, and create the line of Coders.
Sniper_Brosef ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:45:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a name already. I've met a family with the last name coder.
nonameleftover ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:15:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ayyy I'm in that family
Chocolate_Brain ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:12:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then generations down the line they could trace the Roots of their family tree
thestickystickman ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:09:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Excel he only has daughters and fucking EVERYONE is refusing to marry matrilineally.
msdlp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Max Coder
fabs1171 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:08:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was aware of a kid who's name was Decoder - fancy spelling of Dakota ๐
devperez ยท 18 points ยท Posted at 22:00:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Except as developers, we don't really call ourselves coders. You often hear this from people who are pretending to be programmers.
Speciou5 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:13:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev still sounds pretty cool. John Dev.
hamisthename ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev is a hindu name I believe
Matriss ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could cannibalize it into "duff" or "deff" and make a bunch of names with that as a suffix. "Webdeff" or "Donneduff" or some such.
jimmy011087 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:13:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder
2drawnonward5 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:22:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could call him Durrdur for short.
theshizzler ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:16:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dee Coder has a nice ring to it.
LebronsHairline ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:52:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder? I hardly know her!
shiftyjamo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:14:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, James Coder
cuckingjewhole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put a little drench accent on it I can actually see that
maran999 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder
erevoz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:38:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Coder.
Socky_McPuppet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:05:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the Jewish contingent, we could have Coderman.
Mawp_mawp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like a gator trapper in a Louisiana bayou. Cooter Coder.
bplaya220 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a family with the name Coder
Nloveladyallen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a term to refer to programmers, it sounds really cringy. As a surname, it sounds pretty nice.
chux4w ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder.
Jebjeba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, say it so the "der" sounds like the "bert" in Steven Colbert.
Co-dair
Sounds French.
barath_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a hospital, : We have a Code Red. Coder is Coding
Linked713 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:37:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends which job youre refering to.
rocksnowls ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, for me it sounds closer to the name "cody" but in the style of the stupid 2007 "err mer gehrd" meme
[deleted] ยท 740 points ยท Posted at 20:27:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Expectation: Mr. Robot hacker-like that goes millionaire early in life because of a website.
Reality: Mod creator for Skyrim..
Sibire ยท 388 points ยท Posted at 20:45:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Marry Serana Mod PC SSE v1.72"
[deleted] ยท 134 points ยท Posted at 21:53:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Anumidium waifu follower in a dress"
TheSkagraTwo ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 21:59:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie, I would totally download a Numidium follower.
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 22:05:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knock yourself out serjo
zenithBemusement ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:06:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesus what
[deleted] ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 22:11:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*vivec if you please, we aren't savages
Dsmario64 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:41:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alduin: "fuck this shit, NEXT KALPA"
NerdRising ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:14:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have so many questions.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, ya got me.
thestickystickman ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:10:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reality: low-level web designer for home security agency.
twat_and_spam ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:29:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coding standards and exposure of a shitty skyrim mod is far far higher than a typical hotshot malware infection.
Tasgall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:10:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah yes, Jeremy Schlongsofskyrim - I knew him well.
rabbit395 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being Mr.Robot would be awesome. However, being that mentally ill is very painful. Maybe being one of the other people on the team that brings down evil corp would be awesome.
0day1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Dotcom is real.
abrazilianinreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FTFY
san_serifs ยท 589 points ยท Posted at 20:47:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the newest Mp3's from Digital music star, Ry Coder!
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"She kicked my CSS straight to HTML"
"Cuppa Java Script"
"If this, then that blues"
"[/Marriage]"
"All my zeros one your heart"
My_Twig ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:33:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get the latest in #0000FFs music!
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3jt ยท 53 points ยท Posted at 22:21:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget the smash hit "When Doves cannot open shared object file: No such file or directory Segmentation fault"
Phlum ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:31:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plus 'lp0 on fire', an exclusive remix of the Kings of Leon classic
spekter299 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ry Coders solo work is so derivative, I much prefer his early work with I/O Recursion. They made real music.
B0bsterls ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I died at this one
gimpwiz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:04:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So ... #0000FF jeans (but only on fridays), IPAs and stouts, subarus, usually traffic-filled city highways being gloriously empty at 3am after a debug session, and hiking?
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What
gimpwiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:57:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blue jeans, beer, trucks, country roads, mudding ...
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And this sequence of words are lyrics from a country song?
bwhauf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:02:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close enough
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was the most cringeworthy thing I've seen this month
gimpwiz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to pop country.
There's good country, but this ain't it. It is, however, pretty popular.
I forgot to mention a dog, a woman that dun' run off, and the virtues of getting one's hands dirty to fish / hunt / repair cars (and how the city boys don't know how.)
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:05:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is the sort of country they're talking about when they call it "rap for people afraid of black people". Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, that's good country.
Edit: the quote is "They're just doing hip hop for people who are afraid of black people." - Steve Earle
meighty9 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:04:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else read that in Colin Mochrie's voice?
infirmaryblues ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:17:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influential in Github slide
griceylipper ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:01:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I laughed way too hard at this comment
PedanticPinniped ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And the throwback classic from Tennessee Ernie Code, "16 Lines"
SirRogers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New from Loretta Lynn: Bitcoin Miner's Daughter
redditshy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"HTML for loving you"
darknessintheway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like something out of VA-11 HALL-A
gayscout ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This sounds like a Deadmau5 album
U8336Tea ยท 323 points ยท Posted at 20:27:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Linus Opensourcesystemsprogrammer
archaeolinuxgeek ยท 137 points ยท Posted at 21:11:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*ahem. GNU-Linus Opensourcesystemsprogrammer.
U8336Tea ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 21:23:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or as I've recently taken to calling him, GNU plus Linus Opensourcesystemsprogrammer
headpool182 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:14:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay there Richard.
NotALlamaAMA ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:31:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Richard, it's 'Linux', not 'GNU/Linux'. The most important contributions that the FSF made to Linux were the creation of the GPL and the GCC compiler. Those are fine and inspired products. GCC is a monumental achievement and has earned you, RMS, and the Free Software Foundation countless kudos and much appreciation.
Following are some reasons for you to mull over, including some already answered in your FAQ.
One guy, Linus Torvalds, used GCC to make his operating system (yes, Linux is an OS -- more on this later). He named it 'Linux' with a little help from his friends. Why doesn't he call it GNU/Linux? Because he wrote it, with more help from his friends, not you. You named your stuff, I named my stuff -- including the software I wrote using GCC -- and Linus named his stuff. The proper name is Linux because Linus Torvalds says so. Linus has spoken. Accept his authority. To do otherwise is to become a nag. You don't want to be known as a nag, do you?
(An operating system) != (a distribution). Linux is an operating system. By my definition, an operating system is that software which provides and limits access to hardware resources on a computer. That definition applies whereever you see Linux in use. However, Linux is usually distributed with a collection of utilities and applications to make it easily configurable as a desktop system, a server, a development box, or a graphics workstation, or whatever the user needs. In such a configuration, we have a Linux (based) distribution. Therein lies your strongest argument for the unwieldy title 'GNU/Linux' (when said bundled software is largely from the FSF). Go bug the distribution makers on that one. Take your beef to Red Hat, Mandrake, and Slackware. At least there you have an argument. Linux alone is an operating system that can be used in various applications without any GNU software whatsoever. Embedded applications come to mind as an obvious example.
Next, even if we limit the GNU/Linux title to the GNU-based Linux distributions, we run into another obvious problem. XFree86 may well be more important to a particular Linux installation than the sum of all the GNU contributions. More properly, shouldn't the distribution be called XFree86/Linux? Or, at a minimum, XFree86/GNU/Linux? Of course, it would be rather arbitrary to draw the line there when many other fine contributions go unlisted. Yes, I know you've heard this one before. Get used to it. You'll keep hearing it until you can cleanly counter it.
You seem to like the lines-of-code metric. There are many lines of GNU code in a typical Linux distribution. You seem to suggest that (more LOC) == (more important). However, I submit to you that raw LOC numbers do not directly correlate with importance. I would suggest that clock cycles spent on code is a better metric. For example, if my system spends 90% of its time executing XFree86 code, XFree86 is probably the single most important collection of code on my system. Even if I loaded ten times as many lines of useless bloatware on my system and I never excuted that bloatware, it certainly isn't more important code than XFree86. Obviously, this metric isn't perfect either, but LOC really, really sucks. Please refrain from using it ever again in supporting any argument.
Last, I'd like to point out that we Linux and GNU users shouldn't be fighting among ourselves over naming other people's software. But what the heck, I'm in a bad mood now. I think I'm feeling sufficiently obnoxious to make the point that GCC is so very famous and, yes, so very useful only because Linux was developed. In a show of proper respect and gratitude, shouldn't you and everyone refer to GCC as 'the Linux compiler'? Or at least, 'Linux GCC'? Seriously, where would your masterpiece be without Linux? Languishing with the HURD?
If there is a moral buried in this rant, maybe it is this:
Be grateful for your abilities and your incredible success and your considerable fame. Continue to use that success and fame for good, not evil. Also, be especially grateful for Linux' huge contribution to that success. You, RMS, the Free Software Foundation, and GNU software have reached their current high profiles largely on the back of Linux. You have changed the world. Now, go forth and don't be a nag.
Thanks for listening.
piggvar ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:09:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's GNU/Linus Freesoftwaresystemsprogrammer, thankyouverymuch
CoopertheFluffy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me to interject....
osaru-yo ยท 288 points ยท Posted at 20:34:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*unixson
hampsted ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 21:45:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Without seeing it spelled out, this would be a very confusing last name.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:06:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junikson sounds like a Swedish surname.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:46:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
hampsted ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:32:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glad someone got it!
SimbaOnSteroids ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would Torvaldsen be better?
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:29:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minixson or better yet, GNUson.
_____Matt_____ ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:48:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No pretty sure they can't have kids.
Stalwart-Lover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Unix, son
SosX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That one has a cool ring to it
Vnator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*torvaldson OS
ShortWoman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:57:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Confusion ensued.
DWells55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't really work, because passing the name on to future generations requires breeding.
mankiller27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Linus Dropsstuff
BNJT10 ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 20:48:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev McCoder-Programmerovic
intheintricacies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody coder
Dialatedanus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cmon bruh, this is 2017....it's Kodi Coder
Symbolis ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:41:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is an already-existing last name so that's convenient!
Origin is perhaps from Americanization of the German name Koder or Goder, according to ancestry.com
stega_megasaurus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Coder. His ancestry must be Asian, if it includes German as well.
nonameleftover ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:17:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Koder
Source am Coder
TomNa ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:03:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Tables
OK6502 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:16:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Tables is a popular guy
CodyEngel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:51:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder likes to code.
Dr_Evol500 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:07:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Network admin could be "Router".
Dialatedanus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ralph Router
mithrillion ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His daughter changed it to De Coder to sound more classy.
DeCoder68W ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:19:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was summoned?
splitframe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:14:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well hello Mr. and Mrs. Script.
cmdrchaos117 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:46:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas A. Coder
Dade "Zero Cool" Coder
I like it.
neko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker is a current real surname
Diggitynes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One person in their 60s that worked in silicon Valley long ago said they were called "bit fiddlers." Diggitynes bitfiddler has a nice ring to it.
XJDenton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stackoverlowgoogler.
kirby_j3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code the door!
AaranPiercy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coderson sounds like a surname that probably already exists too.
cornylamygilbert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ON FACEBOOK
So like how towns are named Stratford on Avon in UK
username on Facebook
azuli42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John. John Bonkers Coder.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev
CondemingSocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fully considering changing my name now
theevildjinn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Codemonkey III
Pm_me_dat_thighgap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend in elementary friend named Leo Coder
songoku9001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would Developer or Programmer also work??
melbbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's my cats name
ThatPaganGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dee Coder
grau0wl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone with this name growing up
xternal7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very tangentially related: the guy behind some talking cat app had his (and his wife's) surname legally changed to 'Login'.
I'm not kidding, either.
Fucking hell.
Wilhelm_Amenbreak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could see that being a new trendy baby name.
MoreThanJustJello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hardly knew er!
ThePeskyWabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hell yeah I'll wear that
throw_every_away ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codesmith
Alex_the_coder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sup.
xephyrsim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coderson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr InspectorElements
Empdizz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Friends last name is Hack, not to far off.
ThatMakesMeM0ist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Json Coder
Khiraji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I just met her!
k2t-17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer Mr. NotIT
Awesomedudei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder Jonsson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Koder
lanzaio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you mean "Rockstar"?
dags_koopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer CodeSmith
Nihilie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CODOR!
BobT21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two states named thusly. North de Coder and South de Coder.
christophlc6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Coder
MamaDaddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well... Outsourcing being what it is, I prefer the Indian style: Codewalla.
picmandan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coderson
Laimbrane ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought, too.
April_Fabb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised this isn't higher up. First surname that came to my mind...next to Renderwatcher.
PsyMx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Codesworth.
IDLToN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ooh, my mom would be Trinity Coder. That's cool.
PossibilityZero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bugmaker
RollTheHard6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a college professor who taught C++ programming. His name was Codespoti. I thought it was neat it could rearrange to Code Spot I or I Spot Code.
MrSyaoranLi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Later generations mispelt into cooter
no_secret_meaning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:01:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, Cee Coder! Usually hangs out with Dee Expertsexchangeposter.
WhiteSkyRising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean Stackoverflow. John Stackoverflow.
Also Jack Spaces and Jimmy Tabs.
skaduush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet Coder's cousin, Gamer.
JxWayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dakota Cody Coder
GetOffMyLawnTS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody coder
Jagang42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Tables
seedanrun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, this is my brother Coder, and this is my other brother Coder.
shortyman93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know someone with that last name. He lived on my floor last year and graduates this year. He's a Greek and Theology major.
Proof that I at least know he exists: https://imgur.com/qxh4zVB
hedmak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ruby Coder for girl name Seesharp Coder for boy
thinmonkey69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hugo Codeweaving
binford2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy named John Coder. He's not a coder.
coder_throwaway1010 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Made a throwaway for this, but my last name is Coder, and I'm a CS major... i get the same joke every time i meet someone. Ill upload proof when I'm home
shtolik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Androidsson
account_seven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a real couple somewhere out there who changed their married name to Pixel as they were both in graphic design careers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
literally everyone I know says coder. "They're a coder, they were coding, they code" but it just sounds weird to me. I'm the only person I know that says "programmer"
Preparingtocode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Fullstack
Arrogant_Anaconda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
StackOverflowCopyPaster
156153156153 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:32:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder
j_from_cali ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:43:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Codemonkey
RadleyCunningham ยท 15691 points ยท Posted at 20:48:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My daughter's not dating that Memer boy! That whole family is no good! End of discussion!"
DizzyGG ยท 1132 points ยท Posted at 22:54:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SwervinGirvin ยท 595 points ยท Posted at 01:27:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted] ยท 76 points ยท Posted at 06:42:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
YouVersusTheSea ยท 66 points ยท Posted at 06:56:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a shitty repertoire
MBCnerdcore ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 07:35:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe_cool29 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 09:39:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You guys are awesome.
Bonfirex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:36:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By the time I see this comment. It is having 420 points!
[deleted] ยท -6 points ยท Posted at 07:49:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gawwwd daaamnn. that was some shitty music. what an abortion.
[deleted] ยท 71 points ยท Posted at 23:42:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
notleonardodicaprio ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 02:59:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*lemur boy
I'm sorry
MrCynicalSalsa ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:16:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SiTheGreat ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:15:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bacon512 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:52:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
paragonemerald ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Best said in a scottis accent so that later sounds kind of like liter
HBStone ยท 4163 points ยท Posted at 22:43:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want a movie just based on this comment
highRPMfan ยท 3794 points ยท Posted at 22:50:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll get a meme movie eventually. And it won't be good.
bukkabukkabukka ยท 1521 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are Emojis a meme?
Buce-Nudo ยท 1984 points ยท Posted at 22:59:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This could be the new 'Are hot dogs sandwiches?'
Baneofbanes ยท 1283 points ยท Posted at 22:59:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are memes hotdogs?
[deleted] ยท 562 points ยท Posted at 23:00:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, but a hotdog is a meme.
UntrustingFool ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 23:08:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah, the ol' Reddit meme-aroo
Too_Many_Mind_ ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 23:43:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold the mustard, Iโm going in.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:52:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made me think of this scene from the other guys.
CUNT_ERADICATOR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Rub your dicks on the car as you run away"
Asleep_On_Floor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Put ham on 3, hold the mayo"
ScotChatterson ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:37:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to give Reddit Gold, but I can't afford to, and Reddit Silver is supposed to be ironic, so I'm just gonna give you some !RedditBronze, if there's a bot for that.
LabeledAsALunatic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:14:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RedditSilver to you sir, for trying
ScotChatterson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:26:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks, bro. !RedditSilver
LabeledAsALunatic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:27:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!RedditSilver
HBStone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:53:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just use emojis
๐๐๐
Too_Many_Mind_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope so, Iโve never received any Reddit coinage before. Although I do appreciate the appreciation and recognize the recognition.
ScotChatterson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:45:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Insert clever response here.]
ArrowheadVenom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mildly underrated comment
Too_Many_Mind_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...so youโre saying I shouldโve said:
Hold the spicy mustard, Iโm going in
?
ArrowheadVenom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:42:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spicily underrated comment.
Too_Many_Mind_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel better now.
kixxes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:48:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found the bottom! It's ended at a deleted comment. The world may never know how deep it went :/
ANGLVD3TH ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:39:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a documented beginning to the switcheroo. This thread may not be a part of the main tree anymore, but I would be surprised if there aren't still routes that work.
Some guy got sick of the overused joke, and found 4-5 instances of it. He made a post about his annoyance, then started the chain, ending it on his post. Since then people have been adding to it, took me over a week to reach the bottom when I was new here about 2 years ago, just left the tab open and would click through fron time to time a few times a day.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hold my hotdog, I'm going in!
cowboydirtydan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
12 comments long.
ATryHardTaco ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:06:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
O shit.
Woolmilkpig ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:07:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waddup
potatowarrior99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
laffinator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:07:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What isn't a meme?
WumboJamz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:26:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cicadas?
minibum ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:19:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just don't see how they aren't.
WumboJamz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
after a very brief googling, i stand corrected. surprise?
but i will say most of the time you actually dont see them! guffaw
*kill me please -_-
*edit edit: how about laundry basket porn. is that a meme?
CUNT_ERADICATOR ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:45:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme-ception, no matter what he lists the conversation will become a meme.
WumboJamz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:15:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i want a link to laundry basket porn, damnit! you said it would be a thing!
minibum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:42 on September 13, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you build it... they will come.
HBStone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not yet they aren't. Next meme: cicadas
Statistical_Insanity ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:12:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hot dogs are a joke food.
cowboydirtydan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:21:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't like the taste of about half of them and they're obnoxious to hold sometimes. Condiments and toppings make it even harder to hold them. These days I enjoy corn dogs more than most hot dogs, despite corn dogs being even more of a joke.
Baphometronic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not hot dog
Tasgall ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hotdogs aren't a meme.
"Hotdogs aren't a meme" is a meme.
nlane515 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This isn't your ordinary memeing. This is advanced memeing.
BlackfishBlues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
here's the thing
BananApocalypse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phil Kessel's hot dogs are a meme
st3dit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gotta remember this for that meme-history class in 70 years.
my-names-jeff- ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:18:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not hotdog
State_of_Iowa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:58:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i hate you jian yang!
FloggMunkies ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:23:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a meme wore pants would it wear them like this? Or like this?
Baneofbanes ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:36:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, the other way.
IrishPrime ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:32:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are ๐ญ memes?
SosX ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
๐ฅ๐
Michael_the_Ent ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:17:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, this is Patrick.
MattTheGamer20 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:26:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/redditwritesvsauce
LarsLack ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do memers dream of electric frogs?
strider_sifurowuh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:09:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Baneofbanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, Patrick.
DOLCICUS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If only there was an app for that.
stocpod ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hotdog go to bathroom
yuneeq ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if it involves Phill Kessel
yakatuus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NOT A HOTDOG
waltjrimmer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an app for that.
MoreDetonation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is a meme an instrument?
tastefuldebauchery ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No hotdog
Cranfres ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a hotdog emoji, but is it a meme???
Huangerb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:23:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are feet shoes?
Cryptiikal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's only one thing worst than a rapist... boom. A child :0
Hydraxiler32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it don't got bones in it
shadmere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Milhouse a hotdog?
epicsaxman13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are feet shoes?
change1001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is math related to science?
Etheo ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:57:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Need a sandwich purist to lay some smackdown upon this disgraceful heretic for even suggesting the unmentionable. You fuckers make me sick.
Gbcue ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:21:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is cereal soup?
JumpingCactus ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:15:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They aren't, though.
Vanheden ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:28:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But aren't they?
JumpingCactus ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:31:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
pls
brando56894 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:39:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea they are, especially if you get a chili or cheese dog:
"noun An item of food consisting of two pieces of bread with meat, cheese, or other filling between them, eaten as a light meal."
Boom.
JumpingCactus ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:54:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck you
brando56894 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:01:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That escalated quickly.
JumpingCactus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i'm sorry please don't leave me
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't worry, I won't but we'll have to come to a resolution at some point in the future or I will.
Soloman212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But a hot dog is only one piece of bread
iSmellMusic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:33:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And so are a lot of sandwich rolls fam
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not if you split the small seam between the two halves, I've had them regularly rip apart on me, so two separate pieces of bread, also a hotdog doesn't have to be eaten on a hotdog roll, it's just American tradition. I've eaten a hotdog bisected longways with cheese on two pieces of bread before when I didn't have any hotdog rolls.
Soloman212 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:43:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a sandwich
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exactly.
RicoD ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The question actually isn't wether they are or not.
It's a question of morality.
LawlessCoffeh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:12:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, a Hotdog is a kind of similar to sandwich food, but you sure as fuck don't think of a hotdog if you were to ask somebody for a sandwich, you'd be rightfully confused and annoyed.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sandwich is meat/cheese/and/or condiments mashed between two sides of bread. Which fits the criteria. So yes I do say a hotdog is a sandwich. But I doubt id be upset if I asked for a sandwich and someone made me a chilli dog.
re_nub ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:23:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More like a taco.
pjphilliam1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:22:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would say a hotdog is just as close to a taco as it is to a sandwich.
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say a taco is less like a sandwich than a hotdog because at least a hotdog uses soft bread, a taco uses a corn shell which is more akin to a cracker, the only exceptions would be a soft taco/burrito.
Bee040 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A taco needs a tortilla.
re_nub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A sandwich uses two pieces of bread, a taco uses one. Therefore a hotdog is more like a taco than a sandwich.
stikas129 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under that logic isn't a sub more like a taco?
re_nub ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're absolutely correct. Sub is short for submarine sandwich. And sticking to my logic I declare them to be renamed to submarine tacos.
LawlessCoffeh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a clinical definition though. Not the philosophy behind "What is sandwich"
thwinks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:52:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If a hotdog is a sandwich, a burrito is a hotdog.
And a crepe is a burrito.
And rice is pasta.
brando56894 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
False!
Those all refer refer to specific things (although you could argue that hotdogs and burritos are the closest since they're both a form of a sandwich), where as 'sandwich' is a general term for something with two pieces of bread with meat, cheese and other things in between, and 'pasta' is a general term for "any of various flour-and-egg food preparations of Italian origin, made of thin, unleavened dough and produced in a variety of forms, usually served with a sauce and sometimes stuffed."
Burrito: "a Mexican dish consisting of a tortilla rolled around a filling, typically of beans or ground or shredded beef."
Crepe: "a thin, light, delicate pancake."
Hot Dog: "a sandwich consisting of a frankfurter in a split roll, usually eaten with mustard, sauerkraut, or relish."
pjphilliam1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would define a sandwich as the pieces of bread being parallel, where as with a hotdog it's usually one piece folded at some angle. I also understand that sometimes hoagies have a similar bun shape as a hot dog, but that's completely up to whoever makes the hoagie.
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've totally eaten a hotdog that was bisected long ways, with slices of cheese on it on slices of bread when we didn't have any hotdog rolls. There's your "typical" sandwich.
IMO all hoagies are on a long roll, otherwise they're not a hoagie and just a sandwich because that specifically refers to the roll since it's an alternate name for a sub aka a submarine sandwich which refers to the roll being the same shape as a submarine.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just to play the devils advocate, according to foodsafety.gov you can eat cold hotdogs since they're already pre-cooked, they just don't taste nearly as good cold and there is an increased chance of food born illness.
"Is it safe to eat hot dogs right out of the package (unheated)?
Although hot dogs are fully cooked, those at increased risk for foodborne illness, such as pregnant women, should reheat hot dogs and luncheon meat until steaming hot before eating, due to the threat of listeriosis."
I_Xertz_Tittynopes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:00:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not hot dog.
free_reddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No joke, there was a court case disputing a contract, and the whole case turned on whether or not a burrito was a sandwich. There's legal precedent out there saying a burrito is not a sandwich.
FRESH_TWAAAATS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:32:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which was the old "is it still grilled cheese if there's more stuff on it?".
Execute-Order-66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:49:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...Well they are, aren't they?
HorcruxThief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
TitaniumDragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think my favorite response to that is "Isn't a hot dog technically a taco?"
NotThisFucker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:35:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's my opinion on that:
More than one piece of non-continuous bread? Sandwich.
One piece of bread, but it's folded? Hot dog.
Subset of Hot Dog: Is the bread thin? Taco.
One piece of bread, not folded? Pizza.
One piece of bread that completely encapsulates the ingredients? Calzone.
Subset of Calzone: Is the bread thin? Burrito.
EmeraldFlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no because emojis are definitely memetic, which makes them memes
but they're not exactly dank
Spankee94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loled hehe
Eunitnoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is math related to science?
DaedricRuinsJanitor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
also the new "is math related to science?"
gapball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typically, a sandwhich has 2 seperate slices of bread and doesn't include hot dog links.
KushKong420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess it's kinda like a sub sandwich
MauiWowieOwie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is cereal a soup?
skwigglz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Mayonnaise an instrument?
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No I don't think they are
MeowModesty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It sounds like something the dad from the original comment would say.
RutCry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those cheaters are trying to avoid the issue by calling them "handhelds". I bet the marketing doofus who came up with that wears bow ties to the office.
Athrenax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Processing... Not hot dog
x12ogerZx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So fresh.
State_of_Iowa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's not a hot dog, that's a melt!
DylanRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would that make Sausage Party a sandwich movie?
Dabrush ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:48:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Milhouse a meme?
OrangeBinturong ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:59:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Patrick, Emojis are not a meme.
ninjaclown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its Sir Poop to you.
senhoritapistachio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is butter a carb?
rocketparrotlet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
trollkorv ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
text emojis certainly are, in the original sense of the word
OneFinalEffort ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:02:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Though "Meme" has lost its meaning.
nvsbl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
not to me. my favorite meme is 'smiling', followed shortly by 'raised eyebrows at the sight of something inexplicable' and 'smooth transition out of being denied a high-five'
brando56894 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to the definition, I would say they are:
"an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation. Such as a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc., that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users."
Brainiac_Outcast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
only if milhouse is
Oscrizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is math related to science?
Nyjets42347 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is mayonnaise a gender?
WiseGoal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol you sound like my 60 year old mom
comfortablesexuality ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They tried to be, but thank god, no.
SpookieWookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:15:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After that movie? Yes.
RhysPeanutButterCups ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they're an abomination.
double-o-awesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I read this in the cadence of Patrick when he said "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" and it made me laugh. Just thought you should know.
Stanislav_ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:06:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
Zogeta ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. Memes are funny.
twat_and_spam ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 23:28:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you
yes you
now, pick up your shit
get out
really - fucking get out
and I better not see your ass here again. Next time I'll go through your post history, deduce your phobias and fears and will make your life a living hell
Just fuck out now
smbkr ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 22:56:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bee Movie exists and it already came out in 2007.
[deleted] ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:57:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shrek.
Z0di ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:54:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw a "shrek enhanced" version of the shrek movie.
It was hilarious. It had a bunch of edited in references and pop culture.
I want to find it again, but it's lost to the internet.
CyberDagger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is love. Is life.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ะจััะบ ะปัะฑ; ะจััะบ ะฟััะดั!
Alaskan_Thunder ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:09:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shrek Telegram; Shrek pysdu!
riegspsych325 ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:58:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
closest we have for now are the Star Wars prequels. /r/prequelmemes has left no single frame untouched
kf2k ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:09:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has anyone re-cut the movies with the original audio using only prequelmemes as frames? Some parts might have higher or lower framerates depending on popularity? Could be cool to see.
alfredbester ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would be amazing.
PM_ME_CORGIS_THX ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:02:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there is a meme movie already. It's just not for kids. See Meme lover.
QuarkMawp ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Co-written by the infamous hacker Fo Chan.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:06:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You do know Sony is making a meme movie already? Featuring the 2011 rage comics?
Shishkahuben ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just caused me to have a vision of the darkest timeline.
TrulyVerum ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:03:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emoji Movie 2: The Memening
IrishGamer97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:21:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://i.giphy.com/media/poaOUyUKJXNJu/giphy.webp
oldwhitelincoln ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will be like "Date Movie," and "Epic Movie." Total trash.
StarblindMark89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:06:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grumpy cat?
bhos89 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:46:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring Adam Sandler.
Sombrere ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:06:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will be normie trash.
EmeraldFlight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what if it's actually the best movie
Neldryn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully it's when we look at memes the same way we look at emojis now.
fearguyQ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:21:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Than it'll perfectly capture the spirit of meme culture.
Rudy1055 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It won't be the movie we want but the movie we deserve tbh
PeaceAvatarWeehawk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring TJ Miller.
Meterano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With Pepe as anthagonist
Atheist_Simon_Haddad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme II: I can has cheeseburger
Ciphtise ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Even if it's some fancy French arthouse dramedy movie?
rubixium ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:13:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Better get good on your meme game so you can collect royalties
Snow_leopard_Therian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The meme movie will be the sequel to the emoji movie
stevejbeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme movie > emoji movie
Feezec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But will it be dank?
the_murder_of_crowe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope the puffin makes a comeback.
treelovingaytheist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least it'll be short.
Zairo45 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*dank
Ftfy
CailanJade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think that would be the Grumpy Cat movie. Which was so bad it was actually cute.
Z0di ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It will be cancer for the soul.
soul cancer.
markreid504 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know the emoji movie is killing it right now.
RedDoorRichmond ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What happened to that one with double rainbow guy, boom goes the dynamite guy, antojne dodson, etc?
iKojack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shitpost
Zippy1avion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lies. It will be a glorious visual feast of filth.
heyyyyitsjimmybaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We already had meme movies and a tv show, its called tim and eric.
closetshitlordette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It won't be the meme movie we want, but it will be the meme movie we deserve.
Killer_Tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sad we didn't get a live action rageface movie.
Darren_L ยท 45 points ยท Posted at 22:47:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Why Him?"
wademcgillis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The japanese toilet scene was the best part in that movie.
Haloof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her?
MrRedTRex ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:50:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring Amy Schumer. Be careful what you wish for.
madmaxturbator ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're the target audience for the emoji movie eh. Sir, you sicken me.
QueerCalamari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
elijahhhhhh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's pretty much the plot of Why Him?
SignGuy77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Starring Cranco. I mean, Francston.
MonaganX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't think of a better man to play the character that you wouldn't want your daughter to date. Actually, I'm not sure I'm comfortable thinking about anyone dating James Franco.
Broskifity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet the Memers
Tropical13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give Sony time. They'll get there eventually
exwindchaser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/writingprompts
russdr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Romeme-o and Juliet.
lsguk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet the Memers
platinumsombro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The emoji movie was close enough, and it was so bad it sparked the wrath of God in the form of Harvey and now Irma
ElGuapissimo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Memers. Starring David Spade & Amy Poehler.
Jeaniegreyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you want another emoji movie?
82Caff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It already exists. The Emoji Movie. It was critically skewered and roasted.
ProfessorCrackhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The part where she lifts his gut to suck him off while he eats Doritos and looks on disapprovingly will be hilarious.
JACK_DAGNIELS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a college humor video years ago based on a similar premise: https://youtu.be/JVfVqfIN8_c
elvismcvegas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Guess who's Memeing to Dinner?"
Former_Fatass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It'll be called something stupid like "My Face When..."
Rated PG-13
Rezavoirdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasn't that the movie with Bryan Cranston and Green Goblins son?
lordg52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
aahhii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hasn't society learned anything from Emoji movie?
HurricaneRicky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Meet the Memers"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a world where Donald trump becomes president... one brave boy puts the whole system on trial. Rob Schneider is..... The Memer.
hungry_lobster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This summer.... one man..... one meme.... the floor is lava....
andy_dwyer_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone get Rob Schneider on the phone.
1jl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you don't
balanceofpower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dirty Dankmeming
myotheralt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why not? They made one based on ๐.
C47man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you actually though
Pokemoneuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No we need a movie and book about a dragon underneath a grocery store
Jlpeaks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Go watch "Why Him?". James Franco is dating Bryan Cranston's daughter. Comedy ensues.
thesageofthyme ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:48:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Eat spicy goodness- LIKE A BOSS"
that_is_so_Raven ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:15:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Link for people unaware https://youtu.be/s9o6krTi5rA
Warning: loud
savuporo ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:54:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter Cindy Camgirl
Ultermarto ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:24:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But dad, he's the dankest boy in school!"
ababagooby ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:49:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hate that Justin Memer.
phatbrasil ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:05:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chad Hackerman, now there is a boy from a nice family.
weird taste in hats though
waffleninja ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:37:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of that Chapelle show skit.
Girl: No daddy, not a ***. Timmy *. Father: Oh! What a great family. They're going places. We're rich. They're **** rich
Not_A_Throwaway999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or the state
I hate all the crackers, especially you, Joey cracker
RadleyCunningham ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I remember that one. Dave Chappelle is amazing, and his show went unappreciated by the majority at the time.
carelessthoughts ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:03:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh? His show was crazy popular while airing.
RadleyCunningham ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like there was a larger part of the population that didn't quite understand what he was trying to do with his comedy, and more people misunderstood his humor. It's my understanding that his breakdown/crisis came from people who thought he was actually serious with his stuff like the black white supremacist.
I think I just misspoke.
DirtyChito ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:04:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At least she's not hanging out with those Steamer twins.
falconx50 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 01:19:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And those going into politics will pronounce it Mehmer so as to lessen the jokes.
Jah_Ith_Ber ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:18:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It bothers me so fucking much that they call Anthony Weiner "wiener" and John Boehner "Bayner"
They're German names. Weiner is someone who makes Wein (translated: wine) and pronounced "Whiner". Boehner is a transliteration of Bรถhner which means bean farmer. And it's pronounced Boh-ner. There is no "รถ" in English but it sure as fuck isn't Bayner.
RadleyCunningham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:36:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
until he sends a picture of his pepe to a bunch of women and gets caught
falconx50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weiner hehe
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:11:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a memer boi she said here comes dat boi.
A1BS ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:04:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a boy,
She was a girl,
Can I make it anymore obvious?
He liked to meme,
She did ballet,
What more can I say?
He was a memer boy she said see you later boy.
The kneckbeard was in love with her...
RadleyCunningham ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:06:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lmao kneckbeard
PvtPain66k ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:29:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M'emelorde
PieceMaker42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/thread
onidraig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah that Justin Memer can go take a hike
BACEXXXXXX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:56:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a memer boy.
She said "You're a dreamer boy."
He wasn't dank enough for her.
lordg52 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
romeo and juliet in one comment
MMM-BEER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My little Rachel Stripper has the potential to become Rachel Showgirl and date anyone she desires, even a regular Donnie Youtuber"
RadleyCunningham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"we're rich, but that family is Youtuber rich!
MMM-BEER ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:09:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"but my little girl Rachel Showgirl will be Rachel Redtube one day and then we'll see who is richer"
lucc1111 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:53:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm just a memer, who memes all day... All day...
addysol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"But Dad, he was a leading developer on the Mecha-pepe project. I love him!"
safebutedgy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"all they do is sit in their rooms and cry all day!"
jdub101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a memer boy, she said see you later boy
Haloof ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Memer boy is just too damn high!
Enjoythehummus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:53:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was a memer boy She said see you later boy She wasn't good enough for him
jelloisalive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But then he turns his family's whole profession around w a new product... wholesome memes
rednax1206 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:54:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Justin Memer
saltycracka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harry memer
KekMordeEsNumeroUno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well she's dating a Schooler but then again all kids are schoolers so take it as you will
only9mm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Checks out, i tagged you as memer 9 months ago, if you care i can post a pic lmao.
RadleyCunningham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see this, actually.
mechashiva17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:46:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can't just drop the m-bomb like that.
krangozali ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Justin Memer
CritJongUn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:59:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was going to post this :(
BagelsRTheHoleTruth ยท 2888 points ยท Posted at 18:05:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultantson.
Ironically, they would not have been consulted about getting named that.
quilladdiction ยท 1003 points ยท Posted at 19:21:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, Attorneyatlawson.
Family-business law firms would read something like "Attorneyatlaw, Attorneyatlawson & Son, Attorneys at Law."
(Edit: yep, I know "Lawson" is a name, I just hadn't remembered that until /u/eriophora reminded me. Still would make a cool law firm name, I think.)
capricornonthecob ยท 468 points ยท Posted at 19:38:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Loblaw
[deleted] ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 20:43:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came here for this, hope Bob Loblaws law blog keeps lobbing law bombs.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:45:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm tired of double-talk!
AbsolutelyClam ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 00:47:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You don't need doubletalk, you need Bob Loblaw, se habla Espaรฑol
SeanTheTranslator ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:18:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/WordAvalanches
Medic-chan ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:17:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always feel like the writers were so close. Bob Loblawb would have been perfect.
The Bob Lawblawb Law Blog. Why give people an easy S?
act_surprised ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh my god, that's what I thought it was, but upvote for you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:14:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AKA Blah blah blah
eriophora ยท 273 points ยท Posted at 19:24:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like anything law-oriented would probably just end up shortened to Lawson... which is already a name, in fact! Alternatively, just Law.
quilladdiction ยท 193 points ยท Posted at 19:28:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shoot, I forgot about that, good point! So more like "Law, Lawson & Son, Attorneys at Law," which is just as fun to say and actually probably exists somewhere.
eriophora ยท 68 points ยท Posted at 19:36:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun to say, straight to the point, and catchy too! I would definitely go to Law, Lawson & Son, Attorneys at Law for all of my legal and law-related needs.
Other related names: Lawman, Legalson, Solicitor, Judge, Barrister, Counselson.
SheeEttin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are plenty of people with the surname Judge
Horyfrock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawstein?
PRINCE-KRAZIE ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:07:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds Like Game of Thrones names!
oveloel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barrister Selmy?
Excuse me while I head off to make a meme.
ThereComing ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:50:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They can give Bob Loblaw, the Bob Loblaw Law Blogm, and Bob Loblaw Law Bombs a run for their money.
iMarmalade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Close: http://llckc.com/attorneys/
aapowers ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:45:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Barrister' is a surname.
A 'Barrister' (I.e. someone of the Bar) is a kind of lawyer in many Commonwealth countries.
eriophora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually already made another post including Barrister as a related name :)
skorpz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:03:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trafalgar law
djmax101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am an attorney - one of my co-workers had Law as his last name. Mr. Law, Attorney at Law. Has a good ring to it.
FreakDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM THE LAW! ... Brandon THE LAW, nice to meet you.
eriophora ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brandon THE LAW, brother in law, THE LAW family lawyer.
SerKevanLannister ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jude Law
_Reliten_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was really hoping for "Lawyer" so that you could end up with "Doctor Lawyer" somewhere down the family tree, though.
Nanohaystack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Jude Law?
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Law and a Lawson.
TheLegendaryTreasure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a character from One Piece called Trafalgar Law, he's a surgeon.
mario_fingerbang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:37:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably nicer than Ambulancechaser.
tambourine-time ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:27:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone with a last name of lawson, jackson is his name I think
rikkian ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:06:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawson is a legit surname though.
songoku9001 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rivalry with Dewey, Cheatum and Howe.
Iwannabeaviking ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is the name Lawson been son of lawyer?
erik542 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawson is already a thing.
Guadent ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I prefer 'Attorniece'. Has a nice ring to it.
sohcgt96 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:50:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could always go English on it and use the term Barrister as a last name, that's pretty workable.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Attorson
samdajellybeenie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
r/WordAvalanches
Stinkyboot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And what about the Bob Loblaw? Surely he fits in there somewhere.
Zippo16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That reads like something out of Bojack Horseman
Rossum81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shysterson.
McShyster.
AronTimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texaslawhawkson or Texaslawhawkdottir.
(Maybe Bryan's descendants will move to Iceland.)
TheGlassCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Attorneyatlawson Esq.
Otto_Scratchansniff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a famous American Judge called Learned Hand.
Guerrero428 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Avocados at Law!
The_sad_zebra ยท 89 points ยท Posted at 20:20:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The -son suffix is for men who are the son of the name that comes before the suffix. For example, my dad's name is Glenn, so my last name would be Glennson. I don't think it wouldn't make sense to add it to an occupation, but I could be wrong.
CooperRAGE ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:01:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone whose father died quite a few years ago in an accident. Him and his brother legally changed their last name to Their dad's with son at the end.
nickjohnson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:22:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People also used to take on the name of their profession, though - smith, wright, etc. So the son of Joe Smith might end up being Bobby Smithson.
envynav ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:01:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Bobby Smithson's son would be Jimmy Smithsonson
rockhardjesus ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:45:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about jimmy bobbyson. nobody ever asks jimmy what he wants
Irlut ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:00:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where was this the tradition? I'm Scandinavian, and over here the tradition was that you use the father's name (since surnames weren't really a thing). Using your profession as a last name seems to be a German tradition that was imported here a couple of hundred years ago, so I'm a bit confused as to where the tradition you're describing existed.
lord_mayor_of_reddit ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:35:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're wrong. That's never how it worked. True patronymic surnames always came from a father's first name, not from his last name.
The Dutch tradition was basically that everybody had two last names. One was their father's, one was a personal identifier:
When John had kids, their last names would be "Johnson", something like:
Peter Johnson the Carter
Anders Johnson on the Hill
William Johnson of Amsterdam
The second last name depended on the sons' circumstances. Some of the sons might keep "the Smith" name if they also happened to be blacksmiths, particularly if they continued to live in the same town as dad had.
The Scandinavian tradition was pretty much the same, although they often didn't bother with the second last name, and even when they did, it wasn't used much outside of legal documents or mortgages where you knew you needed to get the correct "Peter Johnson".
The English never really did this, but they would use non-permanent patronymic surnames sometimes. So "John the Smith" might have three sons:
George the White
James Johnson
Thomas of Oxford
Again, a son might "inherit" the name "Smith", but only if the son ended up being an actual blacksmith just like his dad, and particularly if he stayed in the same place his family was already known as "the Smiths".
In the late 1000s/early 1100s, after the Norman Invasion, the English and French both stopped using changeable surnames, and began using "fixed" surnames. So whoever was known as "Johnson" at that time was stuck with it forever. And likewise, new Dutch and Scandinavian immigrants who moved to England permanently would often "fix" their patronymic surname to be their last name for all time.
But generally, there was never a time when "John the Smith" or "John Smith" had a kid with the last name "Smithson". Their last name would be "Johnson".
Now, occasionally, there would end up a "Smithson" or something because the person's father was genuinely known as "Smith". Back in the day, it was traditional in much of Europe to name your first three sons after their two grandfathers and their father. Sometimes, the two grandfathers would have the same first name, so to get around this, one of the son's would be named after their mother's maiden name, i.e. their maternal grandfather's last name.
So if John Smith had a father named William, then John's first-born son would be "William Smith". But if his father-in-law was named William Carter, then they couldn't re-use "William", so they would call their second-born son "Carter Smith".
This was still happening in the 1700s. The American founding fathers Gouverneur Morris and DeWitt Clinton were given their first names because their mothers' maiden names were, respectively, Sarah Gouverneur and Mary DeWitt.
So when this kind of thing was done in patronymic countries like the Netherlands or Sweden, then you could sometimes end up with the new surnames like a "Smithson" or "Carterson" or whatever, because the person's father's first name actually was Smith or Carter. But it's not very common, and these kinds of odditiies often got dropped after a generation or two.
ImSoFuckinHello ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great, very informative post.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for this! Great explanation.
Irlut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:06:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for writing this, even if most of it isn't news to me (being Swedish etc). The last part of your post about the creativeness (or lack thereof) of early Americans does expiration interesting and weird constructs like Smithson and the like. Again, thanks.
As a side note, we Swedes also have an interesting tradition of soldier's names, dating back to it 16th century. The basic idea is that since patronymic names were the standard and parents weren't all that inventive you may end up with multiple Karl Nilssons and whatnot in one unit. To differentiate them, some poor saps were renamed by the armed forces and got last names like Frisk (healthy), Dolk (dagger), or Sten (rock). This is of course not done these days, but the names still live on.
lord_mayor_of_reddit ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:31 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting! My expertise on the subject stems from a background in New York history, and what you said aligns a lot with what happened there.
In the 1680s, the English government made all the Dutch and Scandinavian people living in the colony stop using patronymics. The rule was, if more than one family could claim a last name, then no family was allowed to use it. So nobody could use "Jansen" or "Petersen" since there were so many. Some could use their second last name, which is where all those "Van Buren" and "DeWitt" last names came from, but even those were very often duplicated, for the same reason you brought up, so sometimes the family was required to invent something entirely new.
If the family didn't cooperate, then the English government just assigned the family a new last name against their will, often an English word (professions and patron saints of professions were typically used), while other new names don't seem to have much reason behind the change at all.
Anyway, despite this, the Dutch and Scandinavians continued to use first names like they always had. So a guy named Peter who had three sons would likely have three grandsons named "Peter" after him. Under patronymics, this didn't matter much, since their last names would all be different: "Peter Jansen", "Peter Andersen", and "Peter Petersen", for example.
But with the change in the 1680s, by the mid-1700s, there were all these families running around with cousins who all had the same name, all around the same age, all living near each other: "Peter Smith", "Peter Smith", and "Peter Smith".
This became a problem when joining the military, because it made it difficult for the government to determine which Peter Smith in town was the one who had served and earned his pension.
So, to differentiate, the Dutch and Scandinavians started using patronymics as American-style "middle names". So there would be "Peter John Smith", "Peter Anders Smith", and "Peter Peter Smith", their middle names simply being their dad's name.
After the American Revolution, the Dutch and Scandinavian communities started to dwindle as these Americans intermarried with English speakers and spread out and began to move West.
But they retained the custom of giving children middle names. And this is largely why Americans traditionally have had middle names, while in the UK, children did not (well, not until recently). It's the Dutch, Scandinavian, as well as the German influence from early America that started the "middle name" custom in the United States.
It's interesting to hear that this forced name change wasn't exclusive to America!
Irlut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:40 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a really interesting read. Thanks! :)
WilliamofYellow ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:31:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Occupational surnames exist pretty much everywhere.
Irlut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, in terms of being called "Bob Miller" etc. I was thinking specifically in the form "Bob Millerson" etc. I haven't seen that type of name, so I was wondering if I'd missed something.
WilliamofYellow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surnames like that do exist in English, for example Smithson or Wrightson.
Irlut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Interesting. Can't recall ever seeing that. Thanks for enlightening me :)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've surely seen Johnson? Peterson? Harrison? Watson? Simpson?
OverlordQuasar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:41:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those are all from first names (John, Harris, and Peter are all still fairly common first names), which is where those names come from. This was never done with surnames, since this was used instead of a surname.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:52:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh shit, I messed up. I thought this thread was stemmed from a different comment talking about how this was almost never done with surnames and was nearly exclusively from the fathers first name. Woops
PM_newts_plz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:58:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think of the Smithsonian Institution, named after James Smithson.
Log2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:24:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm going to assume that the Smithsonian comes from a Smithson.
NotTheOneYouNeed ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:21:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How are you, Son of Consultant?
BagelsRTheHoleTruth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:56:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just dandy, Mr. Sysadmin! How bout you?
CooperRAGE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are the real Lord of War.
thephotoman ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:51:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Synergy. Synergy would be a consultant's last name.
bushwhack227 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:46:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Similarly, Analystson. Everyone is an analyst of this or that. Finance Analyst. Management Analyst. Research Analyst. Business Analyst. Data Analyst. Etc.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, they's probably go by the firm, like the noble houses. "Jon von Bostongruppecon" or "Ahmen al Deloittecom"
sycamotree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Council sounds pretty good
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If they had been, they would have recommended SME.
squash_n_beef ยท 538 points ยท Posted at 21:59:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my husband's trauma surgeon's name was Dr. Au
felixjawesome ยท 479 points ยท Posted at 22:29:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a golden name for that job.
speakshibboleth ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:37:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone could really go places with a name like that. As long as it was within 100M miles anyway.
tf2throwaway44 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:30:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
100 meter miles?
speakshibboleth ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:59:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Million miles.
Justthomas ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:02:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AU - Astronomical Unit - A unit of measurement equal to 149.6 million kilometres, the mean distance from the centre of the earth to the centre of the sun.
INVICTU5 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM A GOLDEN DOC!!!
ninespark ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:21:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wasted potential, should have been an athlete.
mortiphago ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 02:03:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or alchemist
anusexploder ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:00:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clever.
SheogorathGaming ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends from middle school's dad is a banker named Mr. Golden. I thought that was funny.
My middle school music teacher was a Mr. Bell, too.
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he happen to like the number 79?
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:46:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In German that means "outch", i.e. what you say when you get hurt.
Bradaigh ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:51:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same in English โ we spell it "ow" but it's the same sound either way!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That I knew. But wouldn't Au be pronounced differently? I'm having trouble with coming up with an English word with au in it. At least in "clause" and "pause" the pronunciation is different.
PositiveAlcoholTaxis ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:15:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me you in on a little secret.
Nothing in English makes sense.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:22:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So "au" and "ow" are actually be pronounced the same way if they're just written as a single syllable?
I'm honestly just asking because I don't know.
jama211 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:34:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As an english reader, when I read "Dr Au" above, I pronounced it "ow". The same way I'd say Audi or "out".
PositiveAlcoholTaxis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Au = Ow. Unless you're talking about the elemental symbol for gold, which you would pronounce A U.
Seyr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:45:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it make's you feel better, I'm a native speaker who initially read it like "Dr. Aw", and had to correct it to "Dr. Ow" for the joke to make sense.
Bradaigh ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:21:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, I suppose you're completely right in that regard. Still, my intuition as a native speaker would interpret 'Au' by itself to be like in 'haus' rather than like in 'pause'. I'm not 100% sure why that is. Maybe because we have "aw" to write the sound in 'pause', like in "Aw, isn't that baby cute!"
It may also be because it's a name? I'm not sure. Hmm, well in any case, thanks for pushing me to really think about it!
jama211 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I did as well, but I'm not sure why. I mean sure, words like Audi sound like that, but all the other au words I can think of are like, audit, audio, automobile, all have au in the other pronounciation... Weird!
Maybe we were pre-dispositioned by the joke?
Bradaigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh now there's an interesting thought... Yeah, you might be on to something.
buster2Xk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:23:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sound in "pause" would be written alone as "aw". So if an English speaker sees "au" they'll think it should be pronounced differently to "aw" and probably borrow the German pronunciation.
That was my reasoning anyway.
Bokonomy ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:17:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some medical student friends of mine were telling me the best names of attendants they had come across, like Dr. Slaughter the surgeon and Dr. Love the cardiologist. There was a fairly sexual name for an OBGYN (or perhaps urologist?) as well, and I'm kicking myself for not remembering it.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 01:13:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
ffuentes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuck, it really exists!
ZeoNet ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 01:08:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This guy's rather (in)famous in Texas for doing vasectomies
alamuki ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:18:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends OB's secretary's name was Mai Highman.
KeybladeSpirit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:57:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My childhood dentist's name was Dr. Pain. He'd still be my dentist, but he had to retire due to his bad back. I miss him.
spielplatz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:19:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dentist is Doctor Love. I enjoy mentioning my appointments with him.
Calluna21 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:27:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My orthodontist was Dr. Heurter (pronounced "hurter").
Norwayman4 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:01:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My girlfriend's gynaecologist is named Dr. Finger
DannyDaemonic ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:58:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife had a surgeon named Dr. Money and the staff actually called him "doctor money" just like it's spelt. Whenever I mentioned him to family I'd call him "doctor mo-nay" so people wouldn't think I was joking or picking on the doctor.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:43:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a P.E. teacher named Mrs. Feet.
AtoZZZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:44:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a dermatologist named Dr. Hu
Southwick-Jog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a podiatrist near me named Dr Shoemaker.
Jolliver1114 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:41:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My moms back doctor was named Dr slaughter...
Weekend_Squire ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:33:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Think i gotcha beat. My father's doctor was named Dr. Coffin. No lie.
Cristanka ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:37:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My primary care doc is Dr. Nau. Which, obviously, is awesome. Who's your doctor? Nau. Not when, who? Nau. Nevermind, when do you see them? Now.
Maheu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met a trauma surgeon named Dr. De'Ath
itadakimasu_ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:35:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a child I saw Dr Butcher. That's unfortunate.
Chocobean ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:02:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Chinese and I know that last name is pronounced ou as in how you would say "outside" without the t sound at the end. With a small mouth opening not huge like OUCH.
I was super confused and couldn't figure out why that's a good last name for trauma surgeon even after the other ouch comment.
Jason_OT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Kelly AuCoin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
there is an old german meme about a female psychologist named Angst
remf3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit! I worked with a Dr Au in the ER. She wasn't a trauma surgeon though, just an ER doc.
Skwuzzums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My town has an orthodontist named Dr. Horsey.
No thanks
zebravagina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Au is a fairly common Chinese surname
The_Mighty_Jericha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my friends from college was studying to be a dentist. Their last name is Smiley. Very appropriate.
[deleted] ยท 883 points ยท Posted at 17:50:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
DavidRFZ ยท 532 points ยท Posted at 19:26:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sellers?
papaSlunky ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:22:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sale and Sales are both names too
Cheese-n-Opinion ยท 41 points ยท Posted at 21:44:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and Merchant
melbbear ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:43:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alexi Sales, Peter Sellers and Stephen Merchant. What a team!
mgraunk ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:54:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking Natalie Merchant myself.
ToxethOGrady ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:02:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Sayles
Hingl_McCringleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:07:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With Chris Sale pitching? Unbeatable
Camshaft92 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:33:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arthur. Digby. Sellers.
melodeath31 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:36:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The bulk of the series
rmlynn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Branded, dude.
aapowers ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:49:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also 'merchant'!
[deleted] ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 22:21:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And 'Kaufmann' in German
cccanada ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:55:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Chapman in English!
ZWQncyBkaWNr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:02:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL. The Kaufmann family is the richest family in my city and everything's named after them, like the Rockefellers in NYC.
BulbousAlsoTapered ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:08:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And Mercer.
0BJuan ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:46:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zellers
X_kansas_x ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:31:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. StoleTheDudesCar?
Mutoid ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:35:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is this your homework, Larry?
CapitalistWatermelon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:55:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are no more Sellers, at least not since Target came.
unpronouncedable ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:30:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which reminds me of my new friends Walter Dorgrete and Markus Ureseit
RPGeoffrey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coming this summer a feature blockbuster unlike any other. When a (insert dept. Store) is robbed only an elderly man stands in the way... Gerald Casual-Teammember. Cuts to action. Gerald: I'm about to go full-time on your ass. This idea will be like a whole weeks entertainment to me. Thanks reddit.
KinneySL ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:11:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Already exists in German (and Yiddish) as Kaufmann.
BasedStickguy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahh yes, the most hated, yet oddly flourishing, house
unpronouncedable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Bizdever
anaconda386 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ahem, i believe you mean Salesperson
Zlatanski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
guy at my school has the last name "Salesman". Another guy has the last name "shorter-merchant"
obievil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't you mean grifter?
_Mentalstate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/ Mrs Sellout
le_x_X ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Salesrepresentative to you
mmrrbbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales
mmrrbbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Orsailsmann
FirmlyPlacedPotato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zellesmann
basiltoe345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pushermann?
barath_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
First name Deathofa
BornTooSlow1975 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:11:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liar
Be-esser
KeybladeSpirit ยท 613 points ยท Posted at 22:09:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Janet Codesman, the programmer.
Biggs Darklighter, the electrician
Ryan Homer, the real estate agent.
Arthur Union, the divorce attorney.
subtledeception ยท 322 points ยท Posted at 23:34:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's be real: the appropriate last name for an electrician is Sparky.
[deleted] ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 23:38:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Knew an electrician named Zap. I mean, he may have had a different name, but no one ever knew it.
Also, Biggs Darklighter is one of the most cyberpunk names since Molly Millions.
KeybladeSpirit ยท 44 points ยท Posted at 23:46:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggs Darklighter is a character from Star Wars. I just appropriated his name for this post.
dan2737 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:48:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He could also be in Shadowrun and no one would notice.
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:36:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Man with the Most 70's Mustache.
TitaniumDragon ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:45:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My brother once had a friend named Eric Sparks.
MwowMwow ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:49:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a science teacher named Mr. Sparx. He told bad jokes and put a few holes in the ceiling.
TitaniumDragon ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:50:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the best kind of science teacher!
DoomsdayRabbit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:37:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he change from yellow to blue to green before disappearing if you hadn't collected enough butterflies?
EZ_2_Amuse ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:27:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can confirm, am a Sparky
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Am sparky but perfer darklighter.
zealous_insouciance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arya Spark.
Motzlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, that's for Astromechs.
Siridar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah it would be 'Trashcanonwheels' then
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IVE BEEN A FUCKEN SPARKY FOR 15 YEARS MATE
4nalBlitzkrieg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:34:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my best friends nickname is Sparky. Not because she is an electrician but because she managed to blind herself while welding twice in three months
JulitoCG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:00:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sparky Darklighter: Electrician Extraordinaire!
startingover_90 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:58:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Ryan HVAC.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:42:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Personally, I'd prefer Lightbringer for an electrician.
RingGiver ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:28:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was making a Star Wars reference, not a Warcraft reference.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Warcraft?o.O I was refering to the Lightbringer as in Lucifer
KeybladeSpirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Darklighter feels a bit more literal to me. The electrician isn't bringing light, he's fixing things in order to light the dark.
Dexaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put your faith in the lightbulb!
arreu22 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:59:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or cooler versions:
Janet Codesmith
Biggs Lightbringer
Ryan Hearth
Arthur Breaker of Chains / Oathbreaker
TheLadyBunBun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Arthur Union, the prenup attorney
KeybladeSpirit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was going for a more explicit irony, but that works too.
elwynbrooks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:38:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggs Darklighter is a marvelous name
NotThatSkeleton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:08:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEEEEERRRDDDD starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Biggs_Darklighter
baildodger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biggs Sparky.
BloonWars ยท 20095 points ยท Posted at 18:27:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor.
Dr. Doctor.
Edit: I guess I've peaked. Cheers!
James-Sylar ยท 9085 points ยท Posted at 18:48:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor was my father, call me Mr. Doctor.
TipOfTheCheeseburg ยท 3782 points ยท Posted at 19:58:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Strange
kodutta7 ยท 2333 points ยท Posted at 20:06:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who am I to judge?
DuckHuntbluetwo ยท 1619 points ยท Posted at 21:38:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I've come to bargain!
sudo_bang_bang ยท 1167 points ยท Posted at 21:43:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I've come to bargain!
DrMcNards ยท 907 points ยท Posted at 21:44:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I-
LikelyToBeSarcastic ยท 846 points ยท Posted at 21:45:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu!
LegendaryGoji ยท 741 points ยท Posted at 21:47:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT IS THIS...
DementedWarrior_ ยท 64 points ยท Posted at 21:54:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WHAT. IM STUCK
APiousCultist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:05:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"DOR STUCK! DOR STUCK! PLEASE I BEG YOU!"
-The Dread One, Dormammu
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grab my hand!
zoidbergsdingle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ned Ryerson?
thedaddysaur ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 23:33:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I've come to bargain!
mrfatso111 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:25:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I-
TheKidWithBieberHair ยท 368 points ยท Posted at 21:56:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am groot.
ImGaiza ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:14:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IM BATMAN!
MikeWillHugYou ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:19:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu, I've come to Batman!
straydog1980 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:24:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dormammu we are groot
ren_00 ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:36:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tazerface?
0x-Error ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:09:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No this is Patrick
SurprisedPotato ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:15:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AND MY AXE!!
ToddToilet ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:29:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
& Knuckles
StarWarriors ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aw, Hell Naw!
Omadon1138 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:09:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mary Poppins y'all!
taws34 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reeeeaaaaalllllly? This what we doin now?
darksoft125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Groot.
AVeryCredibleHulk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:13:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are all Groot on this blessed day.
Verbluffen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Saget.
amaROenuZ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I upvote
cowboydirtydan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No! No, that's the button that will kill everyone!
RazarTuk ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:38:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read and be amazed
koppok ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor
Broshinsky997 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi groot I'm dad
Mellodux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are groot.
fire_snyper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AM GROOT.
ssj999kidbuu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks me too
omart3 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:37:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Batman
KaneRobot ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:52:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know you're a shitty character, right?
zelyfis ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:45:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...a cross over episode?
BobbyD1790 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Time!
[deleted] ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:42:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu! I have come...
psychodoge3 ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 22:43:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu! Iโve come to bargain!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:40:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doormahwgo
Neo1928 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:00:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D-
zarkovis1 ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:49:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How Long Can This Go On.
synbioskuun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:45:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FREE ME
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:44:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know pi?
Obsidian_Veil ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:28:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where have you gone???
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:47:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe DiMaggio, our nation turns its lonely eyes to you (woo woo woo)
freelancer042 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LEAVE ME!!!!!!
TheDonDelC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:35:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can walk!
horror_fan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu is the goofiest name for a planet killing villain.in my language mammu=uncle
Jandicootxj9 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:25:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The chat has been disabled for 3 seconds.
wie_bitte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Cum here, did someone call?
helikestoreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hello Mr Bargainson.
thisusernameisntlong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How long can this go on?
HeatSeekingGhostOSex ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:17:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I watched this movie for the first time while on 2 tabs of acid and that scene really fucked with me. Thought I was in a loop but the movie kind of induced it.
lionofchaos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:44:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go to a store which doesnt have fixed prices
"Storemamu I've come to bargain"
theREDdot- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:54:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I love Dr. Who!
Argo-minor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've come to die!
callmemateo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:56:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I understood that reference
Kirook ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 04:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here we fucking go.
Hacnar ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bargain, I've come to Dormammu!
bisjac ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:57:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judge, Judge.
Qwertywalkers23 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:59:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Judge.
waltjrimmer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:11:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something about that interaction tickled me immensely and became my second favorite moment in the film.
Kapitalist_Pigdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who is Judge?
garcia_later ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is JUDGE!
PmPussyPics ยท 210 points ยท Posted at 20:54:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perpaps. Who am I to judge?
QSquared ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 21:19:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perpaps?
[deleted] ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 21:38:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's strange.
OrangeBinturong ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:00:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perpaps.
biggyofmt ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:02:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who am I to judge?
Never_Comfortable ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:13:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's strange.
gh954 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:34:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perhaps that's their choice spelling. Who am I to judge?
Lizard_OQ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks perplexing to me
hamshotfirst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Judgerson
Eurynom0s ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:15:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:46:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually it's just Doctor.
Eilrahc16 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:24:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Strange?
Mikekit9 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:02:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Strange?
mantrarower ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:17:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr Strange?
cool6012 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:24:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've heard stranger things
wilbyr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dr strange? LOVE
rplusj1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:57:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dormammu I have come to bargain.
xsandied ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strangelove?
Sayo1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dammit Steven!
Grayskis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good one.
GibsonPlaysGames ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
Papercuts212 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Strange?
BloodyFreeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, DOCTOR
weaksaucedude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only if your first name is Hugo.
Jeebus30000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr Strange Doctor to you
whydomyjointshurt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Embrace the strange. Love the strange...
Skyridge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was hoping I'd see this comment when I saw the one above it.
HiImDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Faces come out of the rain, when you're strange
zakarranda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sorry, Strange Doctor.
TheDonDelC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:36:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Merkwรผrdig
DavoTheViking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:44:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Strange
Trap_Luvr ยท 487 points ยท Posted at 19:47:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor Doctorsson
bluelarios13 ยท 225 points ยท Posted at 20:46:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctordotter
serialmentor ยท 228 points ยท Posted at 20:49:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean "Dr. Doctordottir".
bluelarios13 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 20:51:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on where your are from
jackfrostbyte ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:00:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does anywhere but Iceland currently have -dottir surnames?
sp00nzhx ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:22:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As legacy forms you can find it in continental Scandinavia; funnily, my maternal grandfather's family emigrated from Denmark and retained patronymy until they did so. (But then again, his family was from a small town on Mรธn where older traditions may have stuck around longer. Maybe his family was just weird.)
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:49:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call that o with the slash through it?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
รธ
sounds like uuh
sp00nzhx ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You can call it an o-slash or slashed o if you'd like; languages that have it as a letter to characterize a phoneme (Norwegian, Danish, Faroese) call it "รธ", and it makes a sound kind of like the "i" in bird (or, if you're at all familiar with German it's the same as รถ, or ล in French).
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you! I have a Latin background for Romance languages but have never studied the Germanic ones.
sp00nzhx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah! I'm the opposite - my research usually focuses on Common Runic and the other North Germanics but I've never really touched on Latinate languages.
xwhy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:07:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But the Doctordottir who played the Doctordottir married the Doctor, who became the son-in-law of the Doctor
SaturdayMorningSwarm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you mean Doctorsdottir
serialmentor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:36:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, you're right.
TrymWS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swedish and Icelandic names are different.
Even though it mostly just the o being an i.
-TrancePrincess- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:40:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. McDoctorson
bluelarios13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Mc means son or descendent. Something like that. Having both is redundant. I think.
ruok4a69 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctordontassumemygender
lolgazmatronz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. McNinja
falconx50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Professorson, teacher of Conspiracy Theories
Hypothesis_Null ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his Brother-in-Law, Major Major Major Major.
Andrakisjl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goddam that's hard to say out loud
kilgreen ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:29:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Dick Doctor
Misanthrokarmic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:56:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor McDoctorface
GhengopelALPHA ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:25:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor McDoctorsfaceson
DryDrunkImperor ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 19:54:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So you're a surgeon?
Chupb ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:56:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the very first time!
metaobject ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're a Sur Ur Ur Ur-geon
Aristeros ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:54 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got your kidneys...on my mind?
jawide626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was aboit to ask the same thing. It always confused me why surgeons get mr/miss and not dr.
CaptainCanuck93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What country? In Canada they are definitely Dr
jawide626 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:45:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the UK
throwawaynewc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barber origins
redfricker ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:22:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tradition, basically. Historically, in the UK, surgeons were not required to get a doctorate. It was an apprenticeship.
jawide626 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:54:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah ok. But aren't surgeons these days doctors who've done a bit more again, like a consultant but even more specialised, if possible, so therefore can still be Dr. rather than Mister/Miss?
redfricker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technically, they are Dr. But tradition has kept the usage of Mr./Ms. alive.
SpudOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're the equivalent of consultants in any other speciality, in terms of the level of training. They graduate medical school and become Dr, and then when they finish surgical training they go back to being Mr. If they were training in a medical specialty instead, they'd stay "Dr" the whole time
WorryingSeepage ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:23:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you
reddragon105 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Until you get a medical degree, then it's Dr. Mister Doctor.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:20:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick
QuantumOfSilence ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:38:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick
ptyblog ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:38:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Who?
gizamo ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Person: Is anyone a doctor?!
Mr. Doctor: I'm a Doctor, but not a doctor Doctor, which do you need.
Person: A medical doctor! Damn it, ...everytime with you damn Doctors.
ziggrrauglurr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*mechanical screeching sound at the distance
Platypushat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you a surgeon?
F-A-I-L-U-R-E ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What movie/tv show is this in reference to?
70astralaxe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr.Doctor is a reference to a joke in Doctor Strange, though apparently, there have been similar jokes in Spongebob.
matttblaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
These are the jokes I come to Reddit for.
lawlsofphysics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Manager.
miraculum_one ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If your first name was the same as your father's, you'd be Mr. Doctor, Junior.
jerryeight ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you doctor yet?
YouKnow____ThatGuy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who was my uncle.
DundasKev ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who promoted Major Major?
_tmoney12 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:42:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom showed a house to a man with the last name Mister. Mr. Mister
the2belo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:51:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THAT SKETCH HAS BEEN ABANDONED
johnnybiggles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor, RN
spekter299 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, there. Dick Doctor, urologist, pleased to meet you."
yobogus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick to you!
ElGuapissimo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Doctorson.
esmith4321 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor was my father... Call me Rextall.
tbonemcmotherfuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:51:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dad was a fluffer, Mr. Fluffer.
Haiku_lass ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor was my son, call me mr. Professor doctor
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:32:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor Man
rmonkeyman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:48:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick.
Build68 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:50:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Dr. Doctor at my local HMO.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:33:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THAT'S MR. DR. PROFESSOR PATRICK TO YOU.
guineapigmafiya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick to you!
skandi1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:53:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctorson
TexasWithADollarsign ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I'm no doctor. Just call me Mr. Mister.
Mr_doctor92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's me!
Actually_a_Doctor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have arrived.
ThatOxiumYouLack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just like Mr. Mister Torgue High-Five Flexington.
whalebreath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me Doctor Mr Doctor
HerraTohtori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What?
wsteelerfan7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:41:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Dr. Professor Doctor to you!
Higherguy420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss dr girlfriend monarch.
[deleted] ยท 1801 points ยท Posted at 20:03:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
qxrhg ยท 1034 points ยท Posted at 20:55:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work with a nurse whose last name in Doktor, so he's nurse Doktor.
jackfrostbyte ยท 809 points ยท Posted at 22:02:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I found out you can get a PhD in nursing recently. So he could become Dr. Doktor, but not that kind of doctor.
Ninjaboi333 ยท 316 points ยท Posted at 22:16:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend who is planning on getting a PhD in nursing, and his brother is becoming an MD. They plan on opening a family practice with Doctor and Doctor LASTNAME
erevoz ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 22:37:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They should call it doctor2
shadow_fox09 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:44:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope this works!
Hunter2
dontsuckmydick ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:57:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh?
shadow_fox09 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:14:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hunter2
Hunter2
Hunter2
Please work!!
dontsuckmydick ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you swearing at me and telling me to work??
shadow_fox09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fcku you bicth!
Now buy my lobbies for 2K each.
Wavy1: BANK SALE!!!
Andrakisjl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he asked you nicely
MaraudingWalrus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:23:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the surgeons locally is Whateverhislastnameis Jr. MD. He eventually got a new placard for his door, he got sick of people asking what a junior MD is. It's fun
JarlOfPickles ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:45:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My initial reaction to this was "well what is a junior MD?"
I'm a little slow.
abutthole ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:40:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm curious why he's getting his PhD in nursing instead of just going MD? I'd imagine it's a very comparable workload.
PsychicNeuron ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 23:18:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctors and nurses don't have the same curriculum nor focus on health care. Is not like if a nurse is a mini doctor or something like that.
Plus just getting into med school is extremely competitive (at least in Canada) so perhaps he/she doesn't want to go through that trouble.
MyLoveHammer ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 22:48:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Because developing a thesis and presentation is something that can be done while you work as nurse, where as going to medical school isn't.
38thdegreecentipede ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:48:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the aftergrad that's different
rameninside ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:32:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even close to the same thing. PhDs generally train people to become scholars/researchers in their field. Your main focus is learning how to deal with literature and perhaps how you can produce your own papers in the future. MDs are strictly taught how to practice medicine. They will very rarely read a paper past its abstract and research will never even be mentioned in the core cirriculum.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:51:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rameninside ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:03:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, most of us will graduate with a few publications, but many of those publication credits are not earned through scholarly research. For example, two of my publications were earned for simply doing chart review and summarizing data for the PI. I had no part in the writing of the papers nor did I want to have a part in that. Schools will generally make it very easy for medical students to link up with researchers and get publication credit. Otherwise their students will not match well and it would look bad for the school.
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:48:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not even a remotely comparable.
abutthole ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:53:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the detailed and helpful breakdown.
unionjunk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:06:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DOC-TOOOOORRRR
philmcracken27 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:18:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doktor - give me the news - you got a - bad case of last-name blues ...
Drutski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Put the lime in the coconut.
XRatedBBQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And call me in the mooooorning
clingfilmhide ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:15:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you get two PHDs in Germany you can call yourself Her Dr Dr.
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:00:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Dr. Doktor. I'll be your nurse for today."
The_keg__man ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:19:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Doktor. Give me the news...
Sperm_Garage ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Dr. Dokter, your nurse practitioner. I'm just gonna do some basic check ups then the doctor will be in to see you.
ElliotGrant ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:14:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ow my brain
RagingDB ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:08:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phd in nursing has been Around a long time and is focused on research. The recent clinical doctorate in nursing is Doctor of Nursing Practice or DNP.
They're doctors of nursing. And they're awesome.
Lulwafahd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:49:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm Dr Doktor, doctor of nursing, not Dr Doktor, doctor of doctoring! Get it through your head, Dr Doktorman, doctor of doctoring doctors!"
133strings ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make him Dr Nurse under this pretense
docsnavely ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PhD in nursing is typically a research doctorate while the DNP (doctor of nursing practice) is the clinical based doctorate for nursing. It's mainly intended for advanced practice nurses who remain at the bedside like nurse practitioners, midwives, clinical nurse specialists, etc. With that being said, the DNP is a newer degree so there is still some crossover where PhDs are working as nurse practitioners, and non-clinical nurses are getting DNPs through online schools for leadership or education purposes.
Source: RN, Paramedic working on my DNP.
Lothar_Ecklord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:36:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew someone whose dad was Sergeant Sargent. Spelling wasn't quite right, but still neat to me
Cheeseand0nions ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't it funny that medical doctors are the only ones you insist on their title like spoiled i narcissistic children?
I have a friend who has a PhD in physics and another PhD in mathematics. Everyone just calls him Steve.
It's funny because you have to be really bright to get phds in most fields. But to become a medical doctor you have to be kind of hard working and or kind of have money. My doctor for example is mildly retarded.
sydoniccrabspread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine the "Dr. Doktor, gimme the news" jokes he will receive.
Jellyfish_v1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So she could be a doctor, but not a doctor doctor
macethebassface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So it would be "Doctor Nurse Doktor"?
Grenyn ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:40:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If he were to get a PhD to become a medical doctor, he would usually be referred to as Doktor, MD.
So there shouldn't be a need to clarify he's not that kind of doctor if he gets a PhD in nursing.
RagingDB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phd is generally research focused. To be a medical doctor you need to get a Medical Doctor degree (MD). But you could also be a provider as a DO, DNP, PA, NP. But phd won't be practicing in a clinical setting without getting a different license and degree.
Grenyn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admittedly I know very little about PhDs, but the point I wanted to make is that there's hardly ever a need to make a distinction between medical doctors and other types of doctor.
rameninside ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The distinction becomes very important when someone starts choking on a plane and the attendant asks if there's a doctor around
Grenyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're a dentist, and someone asks for a doctor because someone is choking, you must be a real tosser to announce at that moment that you are a doctor but not "that kind" of doctor.
I don't think the distinction is needed in your example because of the implication of what kind of doctor is needed.
FuzyWuzyWasABear ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:14:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy whose last name is Nurse and he's a Doctor, so he's Dr. Nurse. Imagine how confusing that is on the ER ward. I can see a Police Squad sketch coming from this....
Msg-me-dick-pics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a local doctor named Dr. Harms.
Fivafish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:55:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interestingly I worked with an anaesthetist called Dr Nurse
shaggyscoob ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who was a pastor named Doktor. Pastor Doktor then went on to get a PhD and became Doctor Pastor Doktor.
melbbear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a doctor at my local clinic with the surname Nurse. Dr Nurse and Nurse Doktor should hook up and perhaps go on adventures and solve crimes together.
InerasableStain ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With a name like Nurse Doktor, there's virtually no chance you don't go into the human experiment field
rileyk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My friends dentist in Brooklyn is a Chinese guy named Dr. Fang.
horrificabortion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I've seen Sergeant Sargent in the US Army
Fanglyfish ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The company I work for used to have a client named Dr. Boktor.
lessthan12parsecs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:24:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy who was in the Navy, according to him there was a guy whose last name was Stain. And that guy was a seaman. So he was Seaman Stain. I never believe that story.
MentalTrafficJam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:26:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't help but say this in the voice of Dracula. :/
Moth_tamer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is probably the most hilarious thing I've ever read. Just woke up the whole house. Also thank you
MikeFoxtrotCantDance ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My chiropractor's name is Dr. Nurse
Underzero_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And I worked with a woman called Ms. Fucks. Correct spelling and all. Not and English speaking country, luckly for her. Although passport checks at airports must be fun.
qxrhg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:16:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to school with a girl whose last name was Blows. Very unfortunate :(
inheritor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a high school physics/chem teacher, his last name is also Doktor, and I think his wife is also a nurse.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
qxrhg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dutch/Philipino
MashedPotato-Sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When your family already decided what you were gonna be before you were born but then you weren't smart enough for med school :3
FrankenBerryGxM ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*she's
qxrhg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:19:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope, male nurse. They exist.
accountinginkc ยท 83 points ยท Posted at 20:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does he need a Mrs. Dockterman?
chilivanilli ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:55:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Mrs. Dockterlady
insertselfdepecation ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Dockterwoman
Fitzzz ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:23:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Dockterperson
heyyoudvd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:28:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a teacher in high school named Mr. Manly. He was married. That means his wife was Mrs. Manly.
Belboz99 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:20:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mann" is a fairly common surname... It's German for "Man" (duh).
It's always fun to greet Mrs Mann. Also, when I go to my friends house we call it the Mannsion. Parties there are called Mannfest.
Sharkshooter ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:02:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What kind of font is that? Why are the s and t connected together?
edit: it only happens on mobile.
leastlikelyllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man....it was really messing with my mind for a minute. I thought I had something on my phone screen at first. Then I realized it was part of the font.
BillyQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got you, fam - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typographic_ligature
Jorricha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fs just looks like B
Norass411 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:13:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I went to the Naval Academy with a dude whose last name was Seaman. He had previously been enlisted so, at one point, he was Seaman Seaman.
streckbtp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked at UConn sending mailings to graduate students. I was thrilled when an envelope for "Penn Handwerker" came up.
http://www.anth.uconn.edu/faculty/handwerker/
calicotacocat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a dentist named Moeller ("Molar") in my hometown.
Acc87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and... hug of death
Darthscary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:27:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We hugged it...
hellslave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was an old show called Oddville MTV. It just had people with weird or quirky talents. Anyway, one of the guests was named Doctor Doctor Jr.. I have no proof of this, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
rdtrdr84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that show! Thanks for reminding me about it!
oarabbus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:43:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With that edit now you're Doxxterman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not related but my works cleaner is called Mr McLean.
diffyqgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used organic chemistry, and she had a premed who eventually became a doctor named Dr. Kill.
"Dr. Kill to the ER, paging Dr. Kill"
Feebedel324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of related. There is a cardiologist in my city named Dr. George George. Idk why his parents were so cruel.
hellocleraif ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the ordering physicians at my first job was Dr. Doctoroff
BillyQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, did you just Doxx Doctor Dockterman?
Tales_of_Earth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my doctor introduced themselves like this I would have to check under the white coat for 2 children proposing him up
IAmA_Cloud_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mmmmm he could take me to surgery anytime he wanted to.
Blimey now I want a brilliant last name too.
I_love_twinkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy going through officer candidate school for the Army. His last name was Sargent. When he commissioned, he was Lieutenant Sargent.
buncle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just doxxed Doctor Dockterman!
macdr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When someone's profession is related to their name it's called an aptonym.
Peekatchu1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did he give you the news? That's he's got a bad case of lovin' you.
ragwafire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pretty sure we gave your link the ol' reddit hug of death.
bwaredapenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We killed it :(
Tardigradepower ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I know this guy from college! Not close or anything but he was in one of my classes. Small world!
SexAndDanger69 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:05:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sort of like Major Major Major Major?
Belboz99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Burgermeister Meisterburger.
"Burger" is German for resident, as "Burg" is German for "Town"... Like someone who bakes is a baker.
Meister is German for "Master", and thus "Burgermeister" is German for Master Resident, or in English "Mayor".
Protahgonist ยท 1093 points ยท Posted at 19:38:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news...
masterman9001 ยท 752 points ยท Posted at 20:26:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I GOT A BAD CASE OF LOVING YOU
PegasusAssistant ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:40:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No pill's gonna cure my ill
BoKnowsTheKonamiCode ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:47:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I have gonorrhea too.
im_dead_sirius ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:53:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man, that's even worse than gonorrhoea one.
Seal-Mcbeal_Navy-sea ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:04:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
at least it's not gonorrhea 3.
ncnotebook ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:10:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
yaa I hate trilogies
tamadekami ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:42:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gonorrhea 3: Return of the Discharge
im_dead_sirius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The sequels(and secretions) just keep getting worse.
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:14:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and deafness
SuzQP ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:11:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And vision loss.
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:06:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
and vision loss
gibblings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dun dun dun dun
Dubalubawubwub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... and I'm afraid its terminal.
girlwithabird- ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The other day, my two year old nephew was playing with a doctor based toy kit and there is a page in it which reads "Dr. Doctor give me the news..."
I really enjoy when kid's toys, etc add small details for adults to laugh at.
GETTINbaby ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:52:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you're HIV aladeen
MrOceanB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:57:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are HIV alladeen
tennismenace3 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:37:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best joke I've heard today
peon47 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 19:54:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're thinking of Mr. Paperman.
Djugdish ยท 976 points ยท Posted at 20:46:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Major Major Major
TheBoyFromNorfolk ยท 305 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew an Ocdt (officer cadet) Major, whose stated goal was to become Major Major... he wimped out one day and resigned from the OTC so nomnative imperative is not that powerful it seems.
BSA_thunderbolt ยท 529 points ยท Posted at 22:22:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a story that went around the British Army in WW2 that a recruit with the surname 'Parts' was promoted to corporal immediately, as no NCO wanted to shout 'Private Parts' on the parade ground.
SSPanzer101 ยท 143 points ยท Posted at 22:43:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private Dick Armey is perfectly acceptable however.
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:25:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Private Dancer... you've been promoted...
YuriDiAaaaaaah ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 03:20:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Captain Lee Speaking, you have been promoted to General Lee Speaking
DorianOrange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:47:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"When do you leave?"
"Immediate-lee!"
When do you return?"
"Short-lee!"
Richard Henry Lee, 1776
NerdRising ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:09:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now is that an army of dicks, an army of Dicks, or a literal army of dicks?
X-espia ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:16:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I'm surround by assholes.
oneblackened ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:31:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keep firing, Assholes!
[deleted] ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 23:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An old friend and I have been steadily building our own army of names for decades now, and I'm pleased to report that Private Parts has been with us since the beginning, along with Generals Anxiety and Malaise and Major Offense.
Jorakae ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:36:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Captain Obvious?
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:38:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He went AWOL with Captain Morgan.
potatan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 07:10:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corporal Punishment?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:07:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We used to believe in him, but studies have shown that he does more harm than good.
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:04:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Chaos reporting for duty.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are dismissed to work your daily magic, Officer!
Dexaan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:30:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
o7
KernelTaint ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 23:56:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard of a guy with the last name Stains, he was in the Navy cadets. People would have to refer to him as Seaman Stains.
X-espia ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:19:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Army guy i knew, last name Bear. Army boot camp, they are all known as fuzzies.
Fuzzy bear had a lot of love.
Chubs1224 ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 00:25:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had 2 Private Beavers in my unit one time. The newer one wandered off one time and his sgt had to walk around asking people if they had seen his private beaver.
TheLordJesusAMA ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 00:13:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A dude I know went to basic training with a guy named Sargent. The drill sergeants called him Private Private rather than Private Sargent.
cleancletus ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:00:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's similar to one major reason I never joined the miltary. My name is Cox.
MattTheKiwi ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 02:33:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a guy named Cox at my last unit. We had a fine board, so if you screwed up or whatever you had to pay a fine (usually chocolate biscuits or beer). He comes into work one day and sees 'Corporal Cox' written up, with 'having cock in his name'
JohnAlanCoey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:43:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This was US Army?
toiletowner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My uncle Dwight's last name was Cox .... think on that one for a minute
Blast338 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:46:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worked with a guy who's last name was guess. Oh the pushups he did in basic.
nullpassword ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:34:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Somewhere out there is a guy named Li. He got called U. as in U drop and gimme 20.
Tofuofdoom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... I mean... Li is a very common last name in china
...My last name is Li.
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:42:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically... I am not sure I can even google the words "Private Parts" Without getting almost exclusively porn (along with random things that have nothing to do with what I googled) I MIGHT be able to get somewhere if I type "Pvt. Parts" though.
Edit: I did it... nope... just some weird porn with both searches. I don't know why I expected anything different. Now I feel like some middle schooler trying to look at boobs but not knowing how to actually look for them. Lol
BSA_thunderbolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:06:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weird, you say? I am shocked to hear that. ;)
u38cg2 ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 22:30:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloody officer cadets. If it makes you feel any better I have shaken the hand of a Major Major, AND a Major Small.
Kholtien ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 23:31:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually had a major once who was Major Horney. First name was ACTUALLY Richard... his parents mustnโt have liked him that much
YouDontSay007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Was he actually horny at some point?
Kholtien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:31:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He had kids so Iโm assuming so? The actually was because a short form of Richard is Dick.
triplefastaction ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:35:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My old college roommate is named Hugh Draper.
Pseudonymico ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:31:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ex-PFC Wintergreen probably retired long ago.
[deleted] ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:10:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Mordecai4d ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mid-shipman2
GhostLights ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:34:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once met a Major B. S. It was a running joke that his superiors refused to promote him to keep the joke going.
philmcracken27 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:19:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roger, Roger.
corsicanguppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:51:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so.... sergeant major?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew an NCM with the name Major. Everyone's hoping that one gets sent through leadership training as fast as possible just so that we can have Sergeant Major.
corsicanguppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:44 on September 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, add me in to the 'can't wait' list. That's going to be outstanding.
_Fudge_Judgement_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Isn't that a book character? Catch 22?
Dracon_Pyrothayan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:01:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Sargeant that's turned down promotion several times.
His surname's Pepper.
wra1th42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for "nominative imperative." Fine bit of wordplay
dogbreath101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I met a sgt Major who is now warrant Major
Taco_Strong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:46:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My high school woodshop teacher was in the navy. His last name is Seaman. He was Seaman Seaman.
b-doggiedog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well he could have gone on to be a CSM then it would be command sergeant major Major.
Fraerie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy whose father had been in the army and had reached the rank of major - making him Major Crack. His son signed up and went to Duntroon, but dropped out as he couldn't stand the teasing at being Private Crack.
mr_nice_negro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of my bestest battles has the last name "Sargent"... Drill Sergeants just called him private the whole time.
MemioliRavioli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:04:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We had a surname Major (Majoor in Dutch) in the Dutch RMA as well. In his third year he was Cadet-Sergeant Major. AFAIK he finished the acadamy, so the Dutch military might just have a Majoor Majoor in a couple years.
Rappiraterne ยท 211 points ยท Posted at 21:47:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see a catch 22 reference I upvote
mister_pringle ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:28:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I get my upvotes in Pianosa for 7 cents.
Then I sell them in Rome for 5 cents.
I make a 2 cent profit on each upvote.
[deleted] ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:27:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
rubedickscube ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:50:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho-ho beriberi
ZarkingFrood42 ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 22:48:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't see a catch 22 reference until I've upvoted it.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:19:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's a catch 22
prizzinguard ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:21:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And quite a catch it is.
BingBongtheArcher19 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:45:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The best!
Ecstatic_Immolation ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:04:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's the kind of humor in the face of adversity that keeps America strong.
RedCat1529 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A real feather in your cap!
3jt ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:14:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be sharp, Major.
SkyWest1218 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wait, this isn't a M.A.S.H reference?
sharkykid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:44:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope. Catch 22. Guy born is major major. He's promoted to. Major. Forgot where the 4th major comes in
Crazyphapha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:23:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's his middle name. His full civil name is Major Major Major.
drunkenknight9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are a rare find indeed.
hoilst ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:00:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I have named the boy Caleb in accordance with your wishes."
Also, government support for anyone but farmers is creeping socialism.
lawrencer12 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I SEE EVERYTHING 4 TIMES!
BingBongtheArcher19 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:48:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many fingers am I holding up?
Liniis ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:47:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Man, I bet you'd love to meet Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu!
lawrencer12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What does he do?
Liniis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He can turn his body into metal at will. (Fun fact, the japanese word for Iron is "tetsu!")
Mutasyn ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:37:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Burns, Major, Major Houlahan, Major, Major Pierce, Major.. I think we've made a major breakthrough.
docnarfid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mushroom mushroom
aDILF418 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ah there's a snake!!!
ZweitenMal ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When my mom was in the Army (in the 70s) she processed payroll enquiries. She came across a man whose name was Sergeant Major, who was a Sergeant. Had to cause problems, because a Sergeant named Major and a Sergeant Major are two totally different things.
cocomagic162 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:36:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some men were born mediocre, some men became mediocre, and some had mediocrity thrust upon them. Major major was all three.
TimberTatersLFC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you mean my name isn't Clayton?
ChrisFromLongIsland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some people laugh others need an explanation!
RhetoricalAnswr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is majors. I get called major majors a lot. I'm in the army and my goal is to become major majors
jfartster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have named the child Caleb, in accordance with your wishes
gigapudding43201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My favorite character name from catch 22
JCPoly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was about to correct you and say it's only three majors but then I remembered why there's four.
breadstickfever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such a good book
abrazilianinreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew this would be here! Great book.
Philboyd_Studge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's got flies in his eyes
QwertyPrincess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Currently reading it. Laughed for a solid 3min when reading the part of how he got his name.
kongu3345 ยท 221 points ยท Posted at 19:22:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know a Dr. Doctor
[deleted] ยท 190 points ยท Posted at 19:34:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my surname were Doctor, I would become a doctor just to troll everyone.
P0sitive_Outlook ยท 34 points ยท Posted at 21:13:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not convinced. I heard it's quite difficult.
[deleted] ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When the will is strong enough, there is a way. I didn't say I would be a good doctor, just A doctor.
Track607 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:13:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you give me a 'prescription' for weed?
Parksandrecdept ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 22:39:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes but only one.
wolfgame ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:26:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Should I inject the whole thing, or can I mix it with something a bit safer, like oxycontin?
chumswithcum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
C'S get degrees!
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What do you call a doctor who graduated bottom of his/her class?
Ridhur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor.
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:17:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes.
zdakat ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:48:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"So doctor, I've got this pain-" "Please,just call me Doctor" "Ok doct...wat"
trianuddah ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:53:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If my surname were Doctor, I'd head into crowds and part them yelling "out of my way, I'm a Doctor!"
octopoddle ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:49:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd become a professional bystander, so that when someone shouts "Is there a doctor here?" I could push my way through the crowd, saying "Let me through, I'm a Doctor!", only to arrive at the front where I would bystand in a professional capacity.
DreadPiratesRobert ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:15:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be a nurse.
Adubyale ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 02:04:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nurse Doctor!
dragn99 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:04:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If get some otger job in a hospital. Like a security guard or a janitor.
red_sky33 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:09:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My initials are D.R. and I've been thinking about grad school, so I'm living the dream
mountainsprouts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:15:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My baking teacher in high school was Mr. Baker.
softeky ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get a Ph.D. to put Dr. on your Drivers License. Then consider becoming a surgeon so you can put Mr. on your License.
_redline ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's an APRN at my institution named Doctor.
Nurse Doctor.
Grandure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:14:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At that point you have to double and get an MD, PhD so you can be doctor doctor doctor
Cynical_lioness ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:34:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I want to get a doctorate in nursing so I could be Dr Nurse Lioness.
ScampAndFries ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Become a nurse instead just to wind people up more.
BattlestarFaptastula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did you become a pen instead?
tekende ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A doctor of literature or something.
da_choppa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd just do it because you'd be sick of people calling you "Mr. Doctor."
ShortWoman ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:53:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once knew a guy studying to become Dr. Pepper.
softeky ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:24:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Who?
kongu3345 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:26:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor
pgh9fan ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:24:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My eye doctor's name is Nicholas Tesla.
brando56894 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:20:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahaha, is he a little out there and interested in electricity? Tell him to watch out for Tom Edison, I heard that guy's a real dick!
At my job we have 'Sydney Portier', 'Randy Marsh', and 'John Carpenter'.
pethatcat ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:36:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now this may not work in English, but a school president is called a director here. Our school's first director was a man by a surname Director. Incidentally, he was also my husband's school's first director. And several other schools across town, because he went around helping to establish schools after WWII, one after another. He was probably the best director possible, since he was, first, a director named Director, and, second, re-invited over and over again to do the same.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:08:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yup, one of the orthopedic surgeons at my hospital is Dr. Doctor. I'd trust him with my life, honestly.
cardew-vascular ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:41:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Dr Joel Doctor in Canada, he's an allergist.
EaterOfFood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:51:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me, too. Ph.D., not M.D.
jkeyes525 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a Dr. Doctor. It's actually a whole family practice! Doctor & Associates
PartTimeLegend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:44:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I saw a Doctor Power. I told her that was an awesome name, and she said she only married her husband for the name.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calgary allergist/immunologist?
nicolioni ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There is a Calgary radiologist too, but it's spelled "Doktor".
kongu3345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nope
ffca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a couple of them. Father and daughter. Filipino.
JoseJimenezAstronaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news.
kongu3345 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 21:26:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad news, Astronaut Astronaut. You're an astronaut.
falconview ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
same here
EmuSounds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same here! Well she is a friend of my mother but w/e
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
South Bend?
kongu3345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The filling station?
But nah
YeastInVagMakesBread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's mine too, lmao
thekinglywe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Im in bed!"
cld8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What ethnicity is that name?
kongu3345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Honestly I'm not certain
Spikekuji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As do I, in Florida.
123fakerusty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Doctor Doctoroff in my town.
EndlessOcean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you call them Deedee?
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Dr. Pepper.
geauxxxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:26:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Houston?
kongu3345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:01:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No
nightcrawler98 ยท 197 points ยท Posted at 19:19:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor doctor pleeeeaaaaasse
AveLucifer ยท 56 points ยท Posted at 19:47:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UFO!
SlurmsMacKenzie- ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:58:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucking hell, I love this band but the only dudes I've ever heard even mention them are my dad and brother. Part of me started wondering if we were the only three people who knew they ever existed.
zarfytezz1 ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 23:21:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really? That song is used to open every Iron Maiden concert, it's fairly well-known
ElMontoya ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:16:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heard it at one a few months ago. Love that song and love Maiden.
sic_parvis_magna_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:38:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Still does. Heard it in June before they opened
ironlion99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:47:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What day in June, they came by my area around that time and I saw them. Great show.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:07:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They are a classic metal band and very well known in the European metal scene. Hell, Michael Schenker played guitar in UFO!
Sidaeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:22:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Originally, and while i'm more partial to the Maiden cover, it's ridiculously silly they open their Book Of Souls tour shows with their own cover playing over the PA...
On a side note, i misspelled "Bookof" the first time around and it corrected it to "Bookman" and so we get another surname... or Siriname.... oh shit, Siriman, This is getting nuts
migpestana ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LIVING LOVING IยดM ON THE RUN!
[deleted] ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:49:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
inFranceItsGuilotine ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:55:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor doctor pleeeeaaaaassee
die_mensch_maschine ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 19:50:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ohhh the mess I'm in!
boonem3 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:28:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I just started getting into them recently. It's funny to see a reference here of all places.
VAisforLizards ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:12:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor doctor, mr md, can you tell me, what's ailing me?
MMMLG ยท 485 points ยท Posted at 19:06:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Who?
[deleted] ยท 335 points ยท Posted at 20:24:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Sibire ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 20:44:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Doctor Hu, I get it.
IAmAlpharius ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:25:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, doctor Hu, doctor Alan Hu
Ianguy9 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I thought it was Doctor Who.
ManyThingsDeck ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:33:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a DDS with that exact name.
wolfgame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a client who was an acupuncturist with that exact name.
nickcash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay, but we're talking about actual doctors here.
blaspheminCapn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cindy lu hu
AKMan6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, this is the second BH reference I've seen in this thread. I didn't know the show had gotten so popular!
rocketmantan ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 20:37:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THIRD BASE!
corsicanguppy ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 22:53:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
nah. Hu is on first. I don't know is on third.
Future_Jared ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 23:03:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naturally
LetsGoChuckTaylor ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:14:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ohhh, so I throw the ball to Naturally!
SyntheticDiamond ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:59:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No you don't, you throw the ball to Hu!
LetsGoChuckTaylor ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naturally!
Lereas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:17:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
See...SAME AS YOU!!
JustAnotherPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
Dragon951 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about second?
corsicanguppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:57 on September 28, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watt's on Second, I heard.
[deleted] ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:19:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Askreddit and Dr. Hu in the same place! What is this, a crossover episode?
Bnetonk ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:32:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Only four more days, people.
experts_never_lie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:33:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was so disappointed during the Hu / Wen administration of China that I never saw a comedy duo adapt "Hu's On First?" I wonder if any did.
themanifoldcuriosity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The British panel show Have I Got News For You did a solid minute of it - I remember it very clearly very years ago. Sadly I can't find any video evidence of it anywhere.
Youareposthuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Cheyenne called her 'Medicine Woman'
paragonemerald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya know I do some fancy pitchin'. I get up to the mound and pitch it to home plate, the batter bunts it. Today picks up the ball and throws it to who, whoever gets him out and throws it to what, what throws it to I dunno. Triple play! Tomorrow's coming up to pitch and I don't give a damn!
Koras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:45:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How's your doctorate going?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:52:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IMNOTTA DOCTAH HU
PotentBeverage ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:09:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I AMMA DOCTAH HU, YOU NO DOCTAH, I DOCTAH!
(Play Dr Who theme)
the_smokesman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My professor for a college level piano class was named Dr. Hu. She was great. Every time I'd joke about studying under Dr. Hu, honing my skills...
drinkduff77 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You just doc'd yourself
PubliusPontifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brian?
StarryEyedLepus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was considering getting a PhD cause I have the same last name
handlebartender ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy many years ago who could legit be called Dr Hu. (Not how he was known, but....)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My spouse's CS professor was named Dr. Hu.
PsychoAgent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who Yu?
sharings_caring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, but I thought it was 'Who', like Dr Who.
kasberg ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 19:35:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor fakkyuuuuu
Tardislady84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:29:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My man!
FeculentUtopia ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:03:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no! Not Doctor Who, just The Doctor
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
According to the most recent season 'Doctor' is his first name
DorianOrange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:49:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And according to the season before that, his real name is Basil. At this point I think you we can safely assume that any time someone tells us the Doctor's name there's no way to know whether they're lying or not.
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't remember that at all, what episode?
DorianOrange ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:33:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the Zygon ones. Osgood asked him about his real name and he said it was Basil, then walked away.
brando56894 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:06:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think I vaguely remember that...
Still not sure how I feel about the 13th Doctor being female...not mysoginistically motivated or anything, I just hate when they make drastic changes to a show/movie's character like that. Prime examples are Idris Elba cast as Roland in The Dark Tower when King specifically says that Roland is a worn out white guy cowboy type with steel blue eyes (think Clint Eastwood)...so they cast a black guy with brown eyes. Another example is the remake of 'Annie' when she has been a little white kid with bright red hair for like 60 years and they get the bright idea to cast a her as a little black girl. This may sound like I don't like black people but those are the two most prominent examples of "why?! wtf were you thinking during casting?" A similar comparison would be like casting David Tennant as Kunta Kente in Roots
DorianOrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eh. The story of Roots is racially motivated so changing the race of Kunta Kente would make no sense and also throw off the entire plot. Annie and Dark Tower are both fictional and can be whatever you want them to be, and race has little to do with it. Besides, if you discount stories that are specifically about race there are so few books which describe the main character as nonwhite, it's not a big deal to change them up. And it doesn't happen with just race - Barry Allen has blond hair in the comics but doesn't in the Flash show or upcoming movies, for example, but you don't see people complaining about that. As far as the Doctor being a woman, we already know that Timelords can change gender/sex when they regenerate (the Master, the Corsair who was briefly referenced by 11, etc.) By the 14th transformation it's statistically very odd if the Doctor isn't a woman at some point. (Especially since, unlike River, I believe it was mentioned somewhere that he was bad at concentrating and choosing new forms).
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:15 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yea it wasn't the best example and was the only drastic change that I could think of, you still got my point.
It does have some bearing on the story, but it doesn't change it drastically like it would in Roots. It's one thing if the character's race is never mentioned or only mentioned in passing, but when these are defining qualities of the character, it just screws things up for no reason. Roland's "piercing blue Gunslinger's eyes" are mentioned numerous times throughout the 8 books and they're a defining quality of him, I would say more so than him being White. Barry Allen's hair isn't that important to the character, but why change it to black hair? Just for shits and giggles? It serves no purpose. My dad had the same complains about how SuperGirl is portrayed in the new TV vs the movies from the 80s which were true to the comics. These directors always take "artistic license" which is code for "I'm going to change things from the original story just for the hell of it just to see how many people I can piss off".
I would say I'm less "upset" about The Doctor being a woman, than I am about "artistic licenses" being taken on other things because AFAIK there is nowhere that says "The Doctor must always be a man" (since as you stated The Master is now Missy ) or that The Doctor's 13th regeneration is male, so they're not really deviating from what was already set like they did in The Dark Tower, Annie or The Flash. It would be like if they decided to make The Hulk blue or Beast green, they are defining qualities of the character but they have little bearing on the character itself or their powers, but why change it? Deviating from movies/tv shows/comics what if someone portrayed Jesus as a black guy with an afro? I'm sure as hell a bunch of Christians would be pissed off even though it really has no bearing on who Jesus was.
Enough of my rant, essentially there's no reason to change things that are already set, but if there's not standard for it go ahead.
yeahnahteambalance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/9N28VoOkaLo?t=25
datenschwanz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Rosen Rosen.
sirwartortle ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:36:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Hu is the president of China?
Yessir
jobblejosh ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 20:43:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
VICTOR! Are you still alive?
-Yes, I'm.. still alive.
richboy5001 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:05:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came looking for this
tornato7 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:31:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Due to reasons of security, my name is changed DAILY! Today, you may call me... Ugh
kirby2341 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:42:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kimberly Bimberly
SOwED ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:44:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor is a surname already
rrirwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's true. There is a Dr. Doctor where I live.
zxain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My mom used to work for Dr. Doctor. possibly the same one if you're from Texas
brando56894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've never once seen this in America, but according to the comments there are people with that last name here, which is quite funny.
jamintime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's also a really old profession, so doesn't really seem to fit the contemporaneousness of the question.
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:45:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welcome to /r/askreddit.
TritelLugano ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:24:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
can't you see I'm burning, burning.
txskye20 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:01:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
defendsRobots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I got a bad case of loving your comment
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:58:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Docty McDoctorface
alexdb2x ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:13:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mister Doctor Professor Patrick.
Christoaster99 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:31:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Did anyone else watch The Secret Show with Dr. Doctor and Prof. Professor?
sndeang51 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:19:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was looking for someone to mention this
Waffleshuriken ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:25:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
THATS WHAT ITS CALLED. Thank you haha.
kauzyperda ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:53:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spies Like Us! https://youtu.be/9UZWfMgjqAs
milesperhour425 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor was actually my eye doctor. His last name was Doctor and we always got a kick out saying we were going to see Dr. Doctor
h8j ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:23:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some members of the Parsi community in India actually have lawyer and engineer as their surnames.
BubblegumDaisies ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My doctor was named this. His daughter went to medicalschool and kept her name when she married.
sheffy13 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:00:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
By UFO, massive choon
ShareHappyness ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:03:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
deadjane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:10:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pleeeaaase
Books_N_Coffee ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
cjh93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:02:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A kid in my primary school had this last name, and he wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. I wonder if he actually did it...
whoeverwhatever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:19:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dentistโs name is Krentist?
cadot1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:30:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Steve Brule
PupperLover66 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news
Supahvaporeon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
Cold_for_Teacher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. "Don't call me Dr. Doctor" Doctor
Why_Do_I_Even_Exist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news
evan555alpha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And their arch nemesis, Professor.
Prof. Professor.
MasterLJ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had surgery last year, doctor was Dr. Doctor.
I resisted the lame jokes I'm sure he's heard 1 million times during my consultation. But after surgery, I couldn't help asking him to "tell me the news". Was high AF on dilaudid.
LolFish42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks. I now have the Thompson Twins going round in my head.
extraA3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He should get a PhD so he can be Dr. Dr. Doctor.
xc68030 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh, Doctor Doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning
bobpercent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:49:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a surgical dentist near my hometown with that name.
ritromango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have met a doctor doctor
the_dishonest_media ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's actually more common than you'd think
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Googler
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:36:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
so ducktor who thumps up if anyone gets it
Argon1124 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor doctor tell me the news, i got a... bad case of lovin' you
Reinhardtisawesom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Who?
Heavyhiking26 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctory mcdoctorface
DiligerentJewl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can't you see I'm burning, burning
gufcfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
rynomachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a professor at my school named Dr. Doctor
Zippy1avion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SoCal?
rynomachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ole Miss actually
lappy482 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor, M.D.
drdoctorphd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
pickaninnyjenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jackgrandal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor. That's dr professor Patrick to you!
CappuccinoBoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
tilt_mode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimmie the news...
Belboz99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a funny joke in Lost with the guy they always called "Doctor" and he always thought it was because he had a PHD.
His name was "Artz", the German name for "Doctor".
shadowsofme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We're not doctors!"
Thelnec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would a veterinarian be a Dogtor?
BloonWars ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:25:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Mr. Dogtor to you! Now gimme dem paws
FuckBigots5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news.
JohnnyFoxborough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's a Richard Scarry character.
Widdy_Boswick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eurologist called Dick Doctor
fantapants83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UFO. Phenomenon. 1974.
aminbean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I ran into a doc named Ben Doctor.
SycoJack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a Dr. Butler once.
NoBisonHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get 2 PhDs and you're already there
AndrewZabar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
One of the Pixar directors is Pete Doctor.
rome_is_burning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just "the Doctor".
ren_00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Dad's co-worker's surname is "Doktora" which is what a female doctor in the Philippines is called. Too bad he's a mechanic.
thetburg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a Dr. Doctor. His dad was a professor if art history. PhD = Doctor. His brother was a dentist. Dr Doctor. No joke.
SteamPoweredPatriot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor! I can't feel my legs!
Saint-King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor sounds strange
6chan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a guy with me in dental school whose last name was Driver (he was Parsi, they have weird last names).
When he graduated, his name was Doctor Driver.
Dr_Doctors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Major Major Major
Roswalpg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But Dr. Is not a profession...
mundotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actually I had a teacher whose surname was Hospital
RuedRepose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Strange.
Sardonnicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doctor.
Ed_Radley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Who?
sunkzero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy at university doing his PhD who's surname was Fear. So he'll be Doctor Fear now... I'm still waiting for the day he turns supervillain
RedditBonez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Docter?
jeersandtears ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually have a professor right now named Dr. Doctor! He makes us call him by his first name.
TheLeadPill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
welfare
Three_hrs_later ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
US NPI registry shows we have many Dr. Doctors but just one Dr. Seuss. There is a CRNA Seuss though. Imagine that being the last thing they tell you before injecting the anesthetics ...
crashcloser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just "The Doctor".
pchov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor who?
CosmicCamel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gimme the news
bathtime85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sawbones
punnsylvanian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've got a bad case of lovin' you(r comment).
darkfoxfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news
Emperor_of_Alagasia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Give me the news, I got a bad case of love for you!
BastardoSinGloria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I used to work in a hospital and I met a Dr. Doctor. No shit.
TeddyBearRoosevelt ยท 525 points ยท Posted at 18:08:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eyetee.
xternal7 ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 23:12:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun fact: the guy behind some e-toy app with a cat that just repeats everything you say with a higher pitch had his surname legally changed to 'Login'.
Not exactly "using today's profession", but close-ish. And no, I'm not kidding.
commandersheppard22 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 06:04:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's also creator of Megaupload, whose legal name is Kim Dotcom
rockeh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a Romanian folk singer called Irina Loghin, whose last name is indeed pronounced "login".
blbd ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paging Mister Tee. Mister Eye Tee.
barcerrano ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:37:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eyetee Guy
eye_tea_guy ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:54:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes?
Chris__XO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Two year club.
My questions is, why?
eye_tea_guy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not really sure why, but I'm quite sure the reasoning behind it was cringe worthy and stupid
barcerrano ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:55:58 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You actually exist!!
eye_tea_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:39 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes I does, but just lurking here
MiningdiamondsVIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ieti.
kingofcow ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:01:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Under rated comment here
Priderage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh. Yeah, that actually works.
Crespyl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ita"
mmrrbbee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sigh-Tee
IslandTower ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 02:15:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roblox?mm
D3Construct ยท 517 points ยท Posted at 23:13:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whackywavinginflatablearmflailingtubemansellerson.
some_witty_username ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 04:33:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds Icelandic.
4nalBlitzkrieg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:36:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Take away most vocals and it sound Welsh
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 05:42:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welsh, I think thats a lake somewhere
BenjewminUnofficial ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:27:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sweet Dee would have to change her last name
mehrdad635 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 05:30:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds German
kolorful ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:32:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a Hawaiian native name...
Hingl_McCringleberry ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:09:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And we're passing the savings on to YOOOUUUUUUUU
coolbond1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:08:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they are called sky dancers actually.
SlothOfDoom ยท 12348 points ยท Posted at 18:02:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant to the Regional Manager
RedPanda1188 ยท 3935 points ยท Posted at 18:28:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Ms. Assistanttotheregionalmanager to you.
QuantumCake ยท 2240 points ยท Posted at 19:26:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We're talking about English surnames here, not German
AdmiralAkbar1 ยท 1334 points ยท Posted at 19:49:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My father's name was Dwight Assistanttotheregionalmanager. My grandfather's name was Dwight Assistanttotheregionalmanager. His father's name was Dwide Assisdanddodaregionalmanager. Amish."
KingOfDatShit ยท 224 points ยท Posted at 21:34:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you
ScotChatterson ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 01:26:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gesundheit.
UserNumber314 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:28:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was born an Assistanttotheregionalmanager and I will die Assistanttotheregionalmanager, Damn it!
mhayden1981 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:42:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwigt
emelecfan2048 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:13:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D-w-i-g-H-t
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:13:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
R/dundermifflin
Nloveladyallen ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:18:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need a lowercase r for the link to work
r/dundermifflin
[deleted] ยท -8 points ยท Posted at 23:57:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It works just fine for me with the uppercase r. Good try, though.
Nloveladyallen ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:59:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Must be your Reddit app. The website doesn't support it.
Parzival127 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:26:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the app. Doesn't work for me.
angadsawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whoa! Read this while watching the Office!!
ZhouDa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:16:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've apparently never heard of Nicholas If-Christ-had-not-died-for-thee-thou-hadst-been-damned Barebone
ScotChatterson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Puritans were wack.
IdiotSupreme ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:15:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mein bratwurst has a first name
It's F-R-I-T-Z
Mein bratwurst has a second name
It's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N
ebrythil ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:54:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then it would be Frรคulein Assistentinderregionalengeschรคftsleitung, of course.
daftputty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:28:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone who almost speaks German, (Danish). I find this funny.
justinkredabul ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Legit met a girl who's last name was schwinghammer. I told her I'd marry her and take her name. She was German.
Stephen1985 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah perfectenshlag
v_i_lennon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:05:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perfektenschlag.
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Relevant Ladykracher: Lisa-Maria von Rautenberg Krรผmpelmann von Auchsschmidthansen zu Bachgaffsmรผhlen Jautstaudenhoff Gelecknicke Dingdong an der Bunzel
Bozhark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/bestof
WikiWantsYourPics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karl-Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Buhl-Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg exists, and there's a Wikipedia article about him.
Someone inserted a name as a joke, and it took a lot of research to find out what was true and what was false, because the false name made it into newspaper articles :-/
Mr-Sister-Fister21 ยท 96 points ยท Posted at 20:35:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Dr. Pr. Patrick to you!
piepi314 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:14:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Um that's Mr Buttlicker to you, and my family built this country by the way
Djugdish ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:47:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And her fiancรฉ, Bob Wehadababyitsaboy.
Darth_Meatloaf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Digging deep. I like it.
cantlearnham ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
10-10-220!!
PotentBeverage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:25:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That's Mr Fifty Shades of Grey to you!"
mscarchuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Assistanttotheassistanttotheregionalmanager to you my good sir.
g-yeazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That has a good ring to it
joe4553 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant to the assistant regional manger.
michaelscottforprez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I WANNA SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!"
"I'm Mr. Manager. "
sbzatto ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DAKINGOFDABRANCH
the2belo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
... of Ulm.
jameslynnwebb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Captain Assistanttotgerehionalmanager, savvy?
metaobject ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bless you
Green_Bay_Fappers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Doitlooklikeiwasleftoffbadandboujee
FuzzyIon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:30:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Assistanttotheregionalmanager Jr
Targaryen-ish ยท 1021 points ยท Posted at 18:43:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr Manager!?
jakabob101 ยท 633 points ยท Posted at 19:07:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We just say manager.
suredont ยท 336 points ยท Posted at 20:43:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know, but you-
the_man_Sam ยท 321 points ยท Posted at 20:51:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't matter who
d5stephe ยท 183 points ยท Posted at 21:36:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who? Anne. You let her in. She's over there.
Mimehunter ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 22:17:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her?
d5stephe ยท 61 points ยท Posted at 22:21:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Egg?
helloyesnoyesnoyesno ยท 48 points ยท Posted at 22:27:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bland?
Pseudonymico ยท 27 points ยท Posted at 22:33:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is she funny or something?
_mrswolverine ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:35:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Way to plant, Ann
underwriter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let's hope so
[deleted] ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:07:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:30:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's as plain as the nose on Ann's face.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:35:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face is the correct line. We were both wrong.
tyrostoken ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:23:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Metal Gear?
KingWapo ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:30:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She calls it a Mayonegg
lawlsofphysics ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 22:38:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's as Ann as the nose on plain's face.
the_man_Sam ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:57:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She's really funny.
Well let's hope so pal
Who_Ordered_Pie ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:22:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Sr: Is she funny or something?
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 01:03:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.
pyrethedragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At McDonalds they are called Mc Managers. Edit:spelling.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:12:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
pyrethedragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:13:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corrected TY
amarclem ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:52:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I came here for this! Wow, I'm Mr. Manager!
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Office and Arrested Development in the same place? What is this, a crossover episode?!
I_love_pillows ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes Reggie?
mysticalone1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:54:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Ron Burgundy?
Tardislady84 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy fuck! I love Reddit.
Baardhooft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You could be Mr. Assman if you'd get demoted.
mumbling_marauder ยท 185 points ยท Posted at 18:48:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Assistant Regional Manager, Jim.
mnpilot ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 00:28:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MICHAEL!!!
Cumberlandjed ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Same thing
scotty_rotten ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:20:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No. No it's not.
David_McGahan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:33:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It unreasonably upsets me that this is attributed to the US Office
mumbling_marauder ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:39:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, it's unarguably the more popular one (many would argue the better one but I'm not going to get into that), I've watched both but yeah, the U.K. one made the joke first. Sorry.
Parzival127 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 01:28:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The 13 colonies started off British too. Things change. Grow up.
/s
SniffingDog ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ricky Gervais was involved with the US version too, so itโs not like the joke was stolen.
leafspackersfan ยท 214 points ยท Posted at 20:29:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crentist
Mistahmilla ยท 42 points ยท Posted at 23:01:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dentist's name is Crentist?
casper223 ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 23:07:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huh...sounds a lot like dentist.
leafspackersfan ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:36:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's why he became a dentist
CatConfectionary ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 06:39:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Before googling this exchange, I mistakenly thought it was from Seinfeld. It was a lot funnier that way.
George: Crentist.
Jerry: Your dentist's name is Crentist?
Elaine: huh... sounds a lot like dentist.
George: Maybe that's why he became a dentist.
edit: oh, yeah, I forgot that you're not allowed to have an opinion on reddit
_Valisk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:57:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your opinion is "this funny joke from The Office is funnier out-of-context when injected into Seinfeld for no reason." I mean, what do you expect?
jajison ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:47:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, it's funnier in it's well-known context.
mac3theac3 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 23:07:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe that's why he became a dentist...
hawleywood ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:57:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your dentist's name is Crentist?
huntman10 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:39:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always imagined it as Krentist
AnnyongSaysHello ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad example, if her name is Amy, I'll call her Blamey.
DrPepperFireball ยท 60 points ยท Posted at 18:50:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AARM
Atasha-Brynhildr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:56:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To get a leg up, you need a strong AARM.
macsare1 ยท 67 points ยท Posted at 20:22:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass. Man.
11PoseidonsKiss20 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:43:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proctologist? Cosmo Kramer?
slabababa ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:40:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seinfeld reference?
TDIfan241 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:06:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also used in 6teen
dexter311 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:18:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm not the Assman!
Brandon4466 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck reference
Person_of_Earth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Football Manager reference?
Brandon4466 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The word you can never say, ever-
deltaoutlaw ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:53:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I didn't say it... Chuck did!
Starman926 ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:42:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha I just started watching the Office a couple days ago
gtaomg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Enjoy it. I too finished a couple days ago.
jcassady3 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:46:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Devil Wears Prada
DisciplinedPriest ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:10:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looked for this. Thanks bro :)
drumperion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:00:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sides are past the event horizon
snowblossom2 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:41:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Assistant (to the) Regional Manager
Ubersheep ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:49:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or "Assrim" for short
GentlyFeral ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once knew an Indian man surnamed Sarkar, which means something like "manager," as he explained it to me.
He himself was a professor of philosophy.
anji123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:28:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also means "government" in Hindi
ZachF8119 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight would just name himself Dwight Assistant Regional Manager, like back in the good old days before he had Jim Comanager and Michael Comanager as his supervisors. Plus with Pam around she's also Pam Comanager, so that is like 3 people above him.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:11:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. District-Manager would like a word with you
pethatcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:37:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assregman
Vioarr7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Ass-RM
JaackF ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:58:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
as an actress said to a bishop
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, I'm the Co-manager.
scared_pony ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:22:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. ARM
Finn_MacCool ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Assman
DerpyPotater ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Lostinirritation ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assman
i_am_an_ass_hole ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Assistant Regional Manager
Johnny_Fuckface ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Assregman
hotwifeslutwhore ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like Mr. Entrepreneur.
Etheo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Internson
emzmurcko ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eventually condensed over the years to Astoregman
Faerhun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its a family trade.
jonny80 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant regional manager
Charlie_Olliver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:43:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AssRegman
TheMadMemeler ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:44:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant Regional Manager, Michael.
nonoriginal85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Assistant to the Regional Manager"
rukasu83 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that scene from Joe Dirt
Mr. Gaurd says: name and badge. Mr. AttRM says: Joe Assistant Manager Mr. Guard says: it's Assistant TO THE Regional manager, don't try to church it up son.
h2orat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secretary
eric685 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could shorten it to Ass Manager
Air_to_the_Thrown ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:23:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buttlicker
twistymctwist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Mr. Assman to you!
meowoof86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll call you Mr. Ass for short.
btinc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:52:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Assregman.
barath_s ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:24:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ARM for short.
canephalanx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:40:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see The Office reference, I upvote
BobbyD1790 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:03:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced Assistant Regional Manager
owenmillermerc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:48:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donโt you mean assistant regional manager
BR8501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correction Jim it's called 'assistant regional manager'
rainsunconure ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant to* the regional manager. One more strike and you'll receive a full disadulation.
182julien44 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
!redditsilver
GoobeNanmaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Naicee .... Boobs ...
Sidaeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight Pressoneforenglish And his partner, Dean Pleaseholdforarepresentative
Spanners111 ยท 278 points ยท Posted at 21:52:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I always wondered about the surname Dickinson
devoidz ยท 187 points ยท Posted at 00:01:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick in son. Pretty obvious.
Shiftlock0 ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 02:52:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're missing the important punctuation. Dick in, son. This family fucks.
meliorist ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:17:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know why people don't say "son of a dick." I'm starting that now.
cannedfoodman ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:49:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Niiiiiice
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 23:52:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sons of Dickon
JBSLB ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 00:29:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rickon?
[deleted] ยท 22 points ยท Posted at 00:52:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickon.
chux4w ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 01:25:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hahahaha!
RandyChavage ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We in this bitch, gonna get our Dickon.
deeznughtz ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:52:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apply directly to the forehead.
grandboyman ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:13:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zigzag?
Peeniewally ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:42:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Dickinson.
OnlyRefutations ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:46:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Know a guy with this name!
He's massive though, so I doubt anyone's making jokes.
HaiForPresident ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 12:29:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He's a massive dick
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey pays the Trolltoll to get into the Boysole.
iamtoastshayna69 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:48:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have a Dickinson County near by. And I was born in the Dickinson County hospital. XD
1206549 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think at some point someone was named Dickin
barath_s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:33:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles Dickens
Richard Dick
Rickon/Dickon
The name predated the dick joke
coolbond1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the son of dick dicksson
dick(in)s son dickinson
PM_ME_A_PLANE_TICKET ยท 673 points ยท Posted at 18:47:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Techsupportcallcenter
[deleted] ยท 150 points ยท Posted at 20:31:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jon I.T. Supporter
bzdelta ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:02:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He certainly knows nothing...
shoziku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Yourmanager.
GandyDancer04 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 21:25:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Very popular in India.
alewex ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:45:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rakesh Techsupportcallcenter
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Real name: Ramakrishnan Techsupportcallcenter
Ruleb ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:50:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Offandonagain
h3nryum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This one.
Henry onandoffagain
IvanezerScrooge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:20:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'John Tech ' could work
WhitmanPriceAndHadod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JT Troubleshooter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The entire call center?
PotatoMushroomSoup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
plaes opun bob
SatanakanataS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Techer
Joonagi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which we all know is a fake name, real name would be Indian
Dispari_Scuro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For real though, Caller. Would sound good and is definitely something relatively new.
twelveparsex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's a pretty common name in India I'm told.
GoobeNanmaga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP said British last name .. Not Indian last name
Urbanscuba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And they'd inevitably call you "Ron Teshporcaster" if they tried to use your name at all on a call.
JacP123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His real name is Ravi he just goes by Jon over the phone.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 885 points ยท Posted at 18:27:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Dattentry lives next door to Miss Schedulecalls, who is not-so-secretly sleeping with Mister Reportome. His boss โ Mister Takethemoney โ has been courting Miss Lobby for several months, but she's in a relationship with Mister Careerliar. Of course, Mister and Missus Makeapps know all about this, because their good friend (Mister Makeyourinternetwork) has seen all of their correspondence... and besides, he keeps leaking snippets of it to his sister-in-law, Miss Tenthingsthatwillblowyourmind.
Meanwhile, Mister Flipburger and Miss Checkout have been talking about settling down and buying a dog, which they will name Instagramsubject McPooponthefloor.
quilladdiction ยท 255 points ยท Posted at 19:24:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh.
An Olympic sprinter and their manager: Takethemoney and Run. Bonus points if their first names are Billy Joe and Bobby Sue.
If_In_Doubt_Lick_It ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 20:08:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I woke up singing this song this morning!
quilladdiction ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:15:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Then I have a very important question for you, Mr./Ms./Mrs./etc. Lick_It:
Did you do the claps?
If_In_Doubt_Lick_It ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:23:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not sure about when Im asleep, but I totally do if im singing it at work! You?
quilladdiction ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:54:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Of course! The claps are obligatory!
arod48 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:25:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
clapclapclapclapclap
Oxidizing1 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:50:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's an old meme, but it checks out.
So very sad that I understood it. /old
tenasan ยท 86 points ยท Posted at 19:19:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Datasstho
FaxCelestis ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I believe you mean Ms. Instaho.
midnightbrett ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:12:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd love to meet the woman whose job is dat ass tho.
FaxCelestis ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:20:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just wander around on instagram for a while
says_ikr_and_leaves ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:21:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagramsubject McPooponthefloor... man im dying
Zathoth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister and Missus Makeapps sound like a very untrustworthy couple.
SOwED ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 19:47:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A profession is the job title, not the job description.
RamsesThePigeon ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:12:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure, but "Mister Leveltwodataentrytechnicianteportingtotheofficeofrecorsdsandaffairs" seemed just a touch long, and we'd never get anywhere if I wrote "Miss Assistantofficemanagerandcorrespondenceprocessingclerk."
SOwED ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mister Technician and Miss Clerk.
MrOgeid86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to see Clue using these surnames for its characters.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've been checking out Ms Fluffer.
madturki ยท 136 points ยท Posted at 22:35:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Javason
Just kidding. Programmers don't get laid.
KenethM ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 00:50:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Java programmers anyway. Haskellsons on the other hand? Now there is a progenious bunch.
clothespinned ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 06:22:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't even get me started on the Cobolsmiths!
drkalmenius ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 09:47:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Assembly fucks like no other.
(INB4 Silicon Valley: This guy fucks. )
Ris-Otto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:21:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If the null hypothesis is that at least one programmer has gotten laid and you have not restricted your population to any specific type of programmer, then statistical programmers have already nullified your hypothesis that programmers don't get laid. The sheer amount of office babies at any given CRO being the soft endpoint.
The hard endpoint being self evident.
Best regards, J. SASwright
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:34:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savage!
norlin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:34:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, it's not the same name!
Yours,
D. Javascriptson.
uniandme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:27:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That'd actually be a pretty cute boys name tbh
omgwtflols ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 07:03:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes they do.
[deleted] ยท 9952 points ยท Posted at 18:02:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
zidanetribal ยท 1932 points ยท Posted at 18:29:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Voted the top dankest last name by Forbes
[deleted] ยท 310 points ยท Posted at 21:02:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fun fact, forbes was actually the name of an macedonian liberation fighter Sve Forbes (pronounced Forbes and of unclear linguistic origin). He fought in various insurgencies against the ottomans and is a natinoal hero today despite his failure after being rat out by a comrade during WW1, because the ration of potatos was low and the Ottoman district gave extra to collaborators.
B.C Forbes the founder of Forbes was childhood friends with his nephew Lete Forbes because Lete moved to his town in Scotland and then went with him to America after university.. The surname similarity of people from such different places astounded the teachers from the very first day at school and that's why they became friends. They resolved to name the news agency they planned to found after the dead heroic uncle who today has the Macedonian capital Skopje's main boulevard named after him.
SpiceterMiseter ยท 796 points ยท Posted at 21:34:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sinkwiththeship ยท 290 points ยท Posted at 21:54:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Super helpful.
slayer8a ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:25:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was very helpful. Up until now I was always pronouncing it Forbes. Now I know, it's Forbes.
CallRespiratory ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:44:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are you sure it's not FORBES though? You know, like Forbes?
bukkabukkabukka ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:57:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You fucked up the pronunciation both times, it's actually Forbes
CooperRAGE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come on folks, you say it "Forbes." Now that we got that cleared up...
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 21:34:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
for-bes
Jules_Be_Bay ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can I get someone to write that out phonetically?
darthseris ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:06:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Four Bess.
elruary ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced. "Pneumonia".
IvanEedle ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 21:59:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As in probably spelled differently, but pronounced like the known name Forbes.
MisanthropeX ยท 51 points ยท Posted at 21:47:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ctrl+F "announcer's table"
"Phrase not found"
Whew.
PinchDuke ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:47:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds completely made up.
EDIT: Looking at his comment history, his three previous "fun facts" involved Macedonia and the Ottomans.
[deleted] ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:30:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is, I'm from Skopje and I've 0 idea what he's talking about.
Krip123 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:49:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It is. Google doesn't show up any Sve Forbes. The guy that founded the magazine was Scottish and his partner was Walter Drey.
SuicideBonger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The grammar and punctuation is so bad, I have a hard time parsing what they're trying to say.
Synux ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:49:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't pinpoint why, and I'm not judging either way, but I got two lines into your explanation and I went looking for something about WWE. That magnificent bastard /u/shittymorph is like a terrorist. Got me worried about him even when I have no reason to think he's around. If ISIS recruits his ass we're all doomed.
BitLion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
two lines? lol all it took for me were the words "fun fact" we're all victims here lmao
P2PGrief ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:57:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anyone else expecting something about nineteen-ninety eight, Mankind, The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell, etc?
JiveTurkeyMFer ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:07:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
...wait.. so what about the part about hell in a cell?
Rukenau ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:34:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel I got a handful of fun facts for the price of one.
Jed1m1ndtr1cks ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:06:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I swore this post was gonna end with undertaker and mankind.
Arminas ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm relieved to read a fun fact that isn't/u/shittymorph
BonusEruptus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:39:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They were fun facts
a_talking_face ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was a wild ride.
LadyVulcanGeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good.... Bot? ๐
The_Snailman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Halfway through this I thought it was a god damned nineteen ninety eight bullshit post. I'm a little disappointed
redlinezo6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
After the potato bit I was really expecting a taker or jumper cables or something... Reddit is ruined for me
BrokenGuitar30 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not gonna lie...saw the text and immediately checked to see if I was being shitty-morphed.
CRaFTDOS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/todayibullshitted
e-chem-nerd ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:32:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And of course by "Madecodian" you mean "Macedonian (a.k.a. a man from the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia)."
LawlessCoffeh ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:15:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forbes is supposedly an importaint buisness news site, but the pure shitness of their site makes me unable to take them seriously.
doozerman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:11:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Buzzfeed. And you'll NEVER guess which one they think is the dankiest
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:52:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If I had any gold
[deleted] ยท 372 points ยท Posted at 18:47:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
eroticdiscourse ยท 98 points ยท Posted at 20:46:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crispy McMemesmith
BattlestarFaptastula ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:09:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moist McMemesmith
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:16:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is my son, little Dank O'Memesmith.
SuzQP ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:15:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet your cousin, Smitty.
brixen_ivy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JaCrispy McMemesmith
His friends just call him Sal
Meatchris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Devilish Memesmith
megalodon90 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spicy Dank Memesmith the 69th
-ksguy- ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:27:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dankimus Memermeier at your service, sir.
Poem_for_your_sprog ยท 3401 points ยท Posted at 20:39:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Memesmith the meme creator
Lives with Olive GardenWaiter,
Fills her head with catchy phrases,
Sudden fads and fleeting crazes.
'Ermahgerd!' he cries, delighted,
liks the bred, and sighs excited,
'Grumpy Cat and Doge are funny!
Just shut up and take my money!
'Give me all your I Know Neos,
BLBs and Strutting Leos!
All The Things and All Your Bases,
OAGs with Duck-Face faces!'
This is Steven, meme creator,
Lives with Olive GardenWaiter.
Steve likes Dick Butt.
Steve can't even.
Steve's rickrolling.
Be Like Steven.
HelenaKelleher ยท 560 points ยท Posted at 20:56:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"liks the bread" are you quoting yourself there? That's fucking awesome.
Duck_Le_Quack ยท 305 points ยท Posted at 21:10:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Its like when Jay-Z makes a reference to one of his earlier songs or Stephen King puts all of his characters in one book
mgraunk ยท 31 points ยท Posted at 22:53:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is there a special name for this type of self-referential allusion?
partyonmybloc ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 23:30:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dope af."
Windows_97 ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:47:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Quite.
robophile-ta ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 00:39:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M E T A
delicious_grownups ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meta fiction
bukkabukkabukka ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 22:58:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I'm in the book! And I'm super important!
JakalDX ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:16:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He was also miserable and riddled with self doubt
bukkabukkabukka ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:06:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah I know the real story behind it. Felt cheap, and his writing was only inspired by fear of not finishing before he dies (and it shows). I guess it's better than being ASoIaF reader.
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:47:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What are you referring to?
bukkabukkabukka ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 05:02:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephen King was slow at putting books out (not George R.R. Martin slow but still slow) and had a near death experience so it pushed him to finish his book series. He released the last 3 books of The Dark Tower series in 2003 and 2004, and it showed that he rushed them. But at least we got closure, sort of.
Edit: Also, in reference to him being in the book, uhh, well, he put himself in the book. In order to relay the story of why he's finishing the series, I guess.
johnthomaslumsden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dark Tower series
SurprizFortuneCookie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephen King is miserable? Since when?
JakalDX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:04:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His character in The Dark Tower is
Rohwupet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please don't remind me of that part of The Dark Tower series. I've tried so hard to forget it.
Gilgamesh_of_urk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:56:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm looking for a certain dog, have you seen him?
helix19 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What book is that?
IAmA_Evil_Dragon_AMA ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Dark Tower.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've read the first two books, didn't recognize the characters from other books.
IAmA_Evil_Dragon_AMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They start popping in frequently in the later books.
helix19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:50 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see. I've been meaning to pick up the series again, maybe I'll check the library tomorrow. I always feel slightly guilty reading a book that's not nonfiction or a "classic", which is silly.
damnatio_memoriae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or when the beastie boys sample their own songs.
BearViaMyBread ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 00:52:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out of the loop?
HelenaKelleher ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 01:03:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-lik-the-bred
Sprog is quoting one her older poems in this one, because badasses can do shit like that.
swyx ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 06:17:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i know we do this every time...sprog is a guy
elliereah ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Proof?
swyx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:58 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
google it
elliereah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:57 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have before, there is none.
qyka1210 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 15:25:12 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
look at the knowYourMeme link
elliereah ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:41 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Calling someone by male pronouns is not proof of gender.
qyka1210 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 01:06:23 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are you asking for dick pics
elliereah ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:34 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am asking for confirmation from the source instead of speculation from some random person online.
connormxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:31 on September 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
http://www.vocativ.com/205176/reddit-poet/
https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/3aungz/hi_im_sam_garland_aka_upoem_for_your_sprog_ive/csg6ln6
elliereah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:11 on September 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thank you.
SosX ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
He reached self meta levels of dank
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
SosX ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 02:28:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it was proven that sprog was a guy after all idk.
PorcupineTheory ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:01:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It was.
[deleted] ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 04:30:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sprog addressing it in his AMA.
Of course he had to throw in an "Or am I? ;)" but I can't really imagine why Sprog/Sam as a woman would answer male.
connormxy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:55 on September 9, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Says he's a man. Also the mystery (or really the not worrying about it) is fun
http://www.vocativ.com/205176/reddit-poet/
https://www.reddit.com/r/books/comments/3aungz/hi_im_sam_garland_aka_upoem_for_your_sprog_ive/csg6ln6
frydchiken333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Which poem is this a reference to?
Apatomoose ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:28:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/598qrb/health_inspectors_of_reddit_whats_the_worst/d96si4d/?context=3
futboi91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
3meta5me
404QQ ยท 104 points ยท Posted at 20:55:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Feels like I've gone through a time machine. ๐จ
SuicideBonger ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 00:39:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A Meme Museum
CooCooNoDoubtNoDoubt ยท 73 points ยท Posted at 22:00:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Okay. Here we go again.
Think I got all of them.
lurker_spine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:11:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice try with the #15 - here's the corrected link:
tosstossbgosh ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:58:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But I thought Steven was a scumbag. I don't wanna be like him :(
Champion_of_Charms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You need more Steven Universe in your life.
AngelKnives ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:55:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is one of my favourites yet! Fitting all of these references in is impressive :)
PM_ME_A_SHITTY_POEM ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a simple man. Poem for your Sprog posts, I upvote.
rsicher1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:34:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exceeds your expectations
Inkthinker ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 23:04:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well done. I think this is one of my favorites yet.
lieutenantbunbun ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:12:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just beautiful
Invader-Strange ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:56:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm intrigued /u/Poem_for_your_sprog.
Just how many decades of gold have you acquired?
PM_ME_YOUR_1080 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hahAH! "OAGs with Duck-face faces!" yes! so good. got laughs outta me :)
nausticus ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 20:57:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg this is the earliest I've seen a sprog poem I feel blessed
IConfessIamLost ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is fucking everything.
Bodysnatchers17 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
best shit i've ever read [9]
Jeebus30000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That was beautiful
Snakeyez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This made my neurons all happy and I think my dendrites are having a party.
anjunatree ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a god amongst men.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:38:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i fucking love you
pokemonfriends ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:05:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the real sprog is always in the comments
allenahansen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:28:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good golly, Sam. You make me happy.
Blu64 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:29:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This...would make a great Beatles song. It would fit great with Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da. https://youtu.be/XRiNy2_wPgU
they_call_me_Maybe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I heard this in my head to the tune of an upbeat 90s teen sitcom
funktonaut ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:28:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FCKING brilliant.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:55:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've said it before and I'll say it again. How the hell are you not published yet?!
cencal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:30:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are a fucking magician.
CedarWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, no, be like Good Guy Greg.
Steve is the scumbag. :P
Butta_Butta_Jam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:07:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's so beautiful. Like a freshly pressed flower. Thank you for being.
chefranden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:11:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now do one about Olive.
phazer193 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brilliant as always.
KyotoGaijin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This poem ate my balls.
konigfruhstuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is a pub diddy
jongosi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I too want to be like Phteven
Awwalworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be Even like Steven.*
zacht180 ยท 103 points ยท Posted at 18:36:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I kind of want to legally change my name to that, now.
SmartAlec105 ยท 62 points ยท Posted at 18:45:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The brother of one of the admins combined his name with his wife's name to be Weinersmith.
brickmack ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 22:27:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zach Weinersmith? Wouldn't surprise me if he was related to a reddit admin tbh
JamesGray ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:49:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, one of the reddit admins is Zach Weinersmith's brother.
anomalous_cowherd ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:35:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not the same thing. Nuh-uh.
Trap_Luvr ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 19:46:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he an Austrian metalworker?
piyoucaneat ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 20:52:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No, he's a web comic artist.
ComradeRoe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:24:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is his first name Shadman?
Future_Jared ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:06:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zach Weinersmith. He does the SMBC comic
Lowbacca1977 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The former mayor of la did this to become villaragosa. Then cheated on that site and think they're officially divorced. He didn't give part of her name back
9999monkeys ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 19:50:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reposter
snowyday ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:01:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The nameโs Gif.
Mr. H. Q. Gif at your service.
Edit: It would obviously be pronounced GIF, not GIF.
grimshaw42 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:46:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/lynch8787
lynch8787 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:58:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol yes memesmith <3
PM_ME_YOUR_BOO_URNS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:07:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dankologist
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:02:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Title says Profession not retardation :D
MadafakerJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew I would find this further down I'm just glad I'm not the only one who thought of Memesmith
JacksonBlvd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your son would take the name Memeson. And if you mom was a cranky old bitch, you'd be the meme-est son of a bitch on Reddit.
TheKidWithBieberHair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masterbater
seanfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surnames are inherited, so no.
__Shake__ ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:34:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think you're missing the entire point of this thread
__Shake__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think it should be Memewright... like a playwright... a "smith" is someone who works with metal i.e. Blacksmith works with iron, Goldsmith works with gold etc.
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeburg, Memenberg, Memenstein, Memelbaum, Memowitz, Memefunkel, Meminiski, Memestein,
Donna_Freaking_Noble ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If one of you Redditors in here will legally change your last name to Memesmith I will give you like thirty five dollars.
bkervick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wentworth Memesmith. Of the Connecticut Memesmiths.
Omny87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:27:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm imagining some buff dwarf-looking dude hammering a red-hot piece of metal on an anvil, then dunking it in water, and as the steam clears he pulls it out to reveal a metal dickbutt.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:00:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
OdysseanOdyssey ยท 1182 points ยท Posted at 18:20:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yutuba for YouTuber.
petite_philosopher ยท 513 points ยท Posted at 19:01:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Are they from Massachusetts?
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 268 points ยท Posted at 19:33:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Specifically Boston.
_PM_ME_YOUR_ELBOWS ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 21:30:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I live in Boston. I would like to point out that the only time I've ever heard someone speak with a Bostonian accent is when I was walking by some guy with sunglasses and a hat on the street.
Ralph-Hinkley ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 21:36:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably because of the influx of hipsters. Old Bostonians all have the accent.
lonely_nipple ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:18:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You also find a lot of them in central MA and along the NH border north of Bahstin.
[deleted] ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:27:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
TitanRaven ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:50:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Bawstin and Rhad Eyelin guy. I was drinkin my dunkin cahffee in mah cah in 4 owahs ah traffic just ta get a cahll from tha boss not ta bahtha goin in; wicked annoyin guy.
Source: From Bawstin.
Translation for foreigners: It is pronounced Boston and Rhode Island. I was drinking my Dunkin' Donuts coffee in my car while I was waiting in 4 hours of traffic, just to get a call from my boss that I was fired. It was bad.
Bokonomy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:11:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You missed the chance to say cawfee milk, and I'm a little disappointed you didn't say it.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:58:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or go to the southcoast and we sound sorta like a mix of Boston and new York.
lonely_nipple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Get too far west and it's all upstate N.Y.
I wound up being from the boring chunk with no snazzy accent.
MiklaneTrane ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:56:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you live downtown or in one of the expensive suburbs? Get into the working-class neighborhoods and it's much more prevalent, especially in people over 40.
BobXCIV ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've actually met more people in the suburbs speaking with Boston accents. But then again, I usually hang out in the metro areas of Boston.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You've never heard the mayor talk.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or you're just used to it and don't notice
IAmANobodyAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you have your headphones in everywhere you go? When I would visit family up there, the T was always littered with cliches. Couldn't throw a rock anywhere downtown without hitting someone who talked like they were extras in the Departed or the Town.
probablyhrenrai ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:25:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something Mahk.
Bonafideago ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mahk Yutubba
Sounds like someone who doesn't shake hands.
Mummelpuffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:46:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not just Boston. President Kenedy was from Mahthas Vinyad and we've all got a bit of that accent according to my friend from Texas
Also Maine accents are insane
DayOfDingus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Strangly enough the accent is not found much actually in Boston anymore, it's mostly in the surrounding towns, mostly in the poorer towns or among the townies in the middle income towns.
Jay_Train ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:29:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://youtu.be/FSvNhxKJJyU
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boston, or Austin?
DoubleStuffedCheezIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mahk Yutuba.
jaaasper ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:37:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Japan
Anteatereatingant ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:29:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was thinking more like sub-Saharan Africa.
secreted_uranus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sahp kid, gaht a pack of smokes? Lets hit up the packie for a thirdddeeee and watch da youtube kid, go SOX!
TheOddEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any other non-Americans had thier tongues perform gymnastic moves just to pronounce Massachusetts?
SocraticSwagger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Maffachufetts, right?
paragonemerald ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was at a town fair in North East Connecticut today where a little boy who was working with his mom managing parking would bark to passersby, "Boddle o' watta, onlee wun dolla! Bag o' cookies, onlee three dollas!" I was amazed that the old yankee was so alive and well in the younger generation
mythrowawayornot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:52:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
England is their city.
KnackrackGlurak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am!
Rothaarig ยท 50 points ยท Posted at 19:14:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, is this Mr.Vlogger?
theJigmeister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Listicle
IguanadonsEverywhere ยท 249 points ยท Posted at 20:32:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hai domo! Virtua Yutuba Kizuna Ai desu!
Ayasinato ยท 49 points ยท Posted at 22:19:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Theeere it is
JustAnotherSuit96 ยท 37 points ยท Posted at 22:23:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bacharu Youtuba*
Ansoni ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:31:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not yuchuba?
JustAnotherSuit96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:18:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're right
mrthrough ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
* Yuchuuba
Ansoni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:29:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're gonna do that it becomes yuuchuubaa...
ใฆใผใใผใใผ
mrthrough ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 13:02:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kusou. Watashi no nihongo skills wa shit
Synchro_Shoukan ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:52:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baachaaru*
Virtual in Japanese... >.>
SOwED ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:45:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since they're English surnames, why not just YouTuber?
tdoger ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or just Tuber, Tuberman, Tuberson?
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:29:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A brand name as a surname sounds like fuel for /r/latestagecapitalism.
SOwED ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It does until you realize how many brand names came from surnames.
YamnuanEmpire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe because that would be too much like Jennifer Government.
Wumbonomicon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:10:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, nice to meet you. My name is John Minecraftyoutuber
JacobAKAplayer2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:10:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hanzo Yutuba eldest son of the Yutuba clan he is the heir to their company and betrothed to Akiko Camgiru
Di0nysus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber has a better ring to it.
i_am_banana_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlorger?
BattlestarFaptastula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do we no longer have English today?
bd_one ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if they are Irish, O' Tuber, which was an evolution of Ua Tuber.
my_sweet_adeline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yoruba, Yoruba. ...
156153156153 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ima Youtuba
finnhorse ยท 47 points ยท Posted at 19:22:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yes, the McStartups were a proud clan. At some point they married into the SocialMediaDirectors, though, and things began to go downhill from there..."
[deleted] ยท 46 points ยท Posted at 21:58:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asspro
It's short for associate programmer.
Prof_Insultant ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 00:05:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not to be confused with Dr. Assprober, from the proctology clan.
Hingl_McCringleberry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Assman
MartiVltori ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure it is.
HowLongCanIMakeAName ยท 78 points ยท Posted at 19:38:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could definitely see "tech" taking off.
Terry Tech taught terrible tips to tangerines... or something
geeky_username ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 23:24:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"You hanging out with a Tech boy? Which OS does his family practice with?
Windows? OSX, iOS? Android?"
AgentBlue14 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 01:19:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mac Classic? His family is an abomination and I will not have kernel panics in this house."
geeky_username ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 02:02:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They don't even believe in 32 bit color!
AgentBlue14 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 02:09:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Those animals. We're a 24-bit family, and if they don't understand that, you shouldn't be hanging out with them anyways. It's all about 16-bits for them, too 1996 for me."
OgreSpider ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:07:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"They're Xiaomians, dad."
"Get. Out."
MachNeu ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:26:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Terry Tech truthfully teaches trusty techniques to twenty talented teenagers that took the time to tour the tall tower.
HowLongCanIMakeAName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alright, you're superior.
majorjoe23 ยท 79 points ยท Posted at 22:41:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Susan Pyramid-Scheme-Pushed-on-Facebook-Friends.
lygerzero0zero ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 03:48:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You mean Susan Reversefunnel.
blue_eyes2483 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:31:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mrs ItWorks to you
waka_flocculonodular ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Cutco and Mrs. Jamberry
melizzaryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dont forget Monat Shakeology or Lipsense
blue_eyes2483 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And their daughter LuLaRoe
KukukachuGotScrewed ยท 40 points ยท Posted at 22:35:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Realisticsextoymaker
Alternatively, Dylan Dildocraft
Mechanical_Owl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:24:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Prongforge
KukukachuGotScrewed ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:06 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Dylan Dildosmith, Lord of Dragons?
Is that a stretch? It will be after he's made his products.
[deleted] ยท 513 points ยท Posted at 18:34:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
PRINCE-KRAZIE ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:07:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Media Managฤ is an awesome job!
frolicking_elephants ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 00:21:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All of the names are "mister"s except for the one with the boobs... sigh
anon2367 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:00:39 on September 10, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the Patriarchy!
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 05:58:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[removed]
frolicking_elephants ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 06:01:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Subtlety's for chumps!
DamselSexbang ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 23:12:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Damsel Instaboob-Sexbang. Even when married I stayed in the same market
buster2Xk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Ninja Sex Party the same market as instaboobing?
LifeOfTheUnparty ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:40:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about a user experience designer?
Ms. Desiex? Udesex? Usexde?
remuladgryta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yuai, Gui, Ux, Yuwex
craignons ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:18:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what does an instaboob do
unthused ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:59:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm presuming attractive ladies with nice boobs who make a living by posting photos of themselves to Instagram. Of which there appear to be quite a few.
Throwaway-tan ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:07:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Appsmith is actually not bad.
Doc_Vestibule ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:01:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's pronounced gra-FEE-sur
Protahgonist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:40:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's a song about Mr. Dataminer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsDkmVo2fg4
Nizatron ยท 148 points ยท Posted at 19:38:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
kish22 ยท 55 points ยท Posted at 20:54:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Such a jerk
Toshiba1point0 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr Jizzmopper sir to you
GoodguyGabe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Fapper McFappington
hopbel ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:24:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
Toshiba1point0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like a real close family!
broban ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:12:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Wanker
LargeSticker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's gonna be a lot of wankers
Red5point1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP asked about professions not your hobby.
bestprocrastinator ยท 25 points ยท Posted at 22:36:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UnpaidIntern
Seetherrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if you would be reproducing much with that last name....
BenjewminUnofficial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:28:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wasn't going to reproducing much without that last name anyway...
TenNinetythree ยท 87 points ยท Posted at 18:03:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neet, Burgerflipper, Marketeer
YeaYeaImGoin ยท 916 points ยท Posted at 19:49:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: People who don't know what a profession is.
Hipster? Redditor? Really? No.
Crownbear ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 21:57:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think they do but when a thread isn't marked serious you're going to get all the low hanging fruit pickers because karma means more to them then contributing to the topic.
bacon_cake ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 22:37:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't really see how you could take this particular question on a serious path though.
It's just naming popular professions and adding common name suffixes to the end. Unless we get a comment section full of linguists it's never getting serious.
Confused_AF_Help ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:36:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well analysed, Mr. Karmasmith
jackfrostbyte ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 22:12:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Actual last names can come from a variety of sources. Family profession is an obvious one, but there's also names that come from Nicknames, residential locations, and from a parent's name.
So we could have a Robert Gallowboob. Robbert Reddit (internet locations could count). Robbert O'Unidan. Etc.
teh_m ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 06:15:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And his wife,
It's raining today and I'm bored. Sorry for this post.
OnlyRefutations ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:49:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Remember a family on the estate whose surname was "England". Always wondered if there's a Johann Deutschland somewhere.
Interstingly, Alba isn't an uncommon surname, but no idea if it's anything to do with Scotland.
tombue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone who's last name is Deutsch.
topdeck55 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alba is white in Latin.
learath ยท 144 points ยท Posted at 21:33:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are tons of professional redditors. Maybe not that many in the US, and maybe not that many specialized to reddit alone, but viral marketing and 'brand protection' or whatever euphemism they use now is huge business.
paul-arized ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 21:47:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admins
Moderators
Arbitrators
Christofferoff ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 23:23:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/GallowBoob is clearly a professional redditor.
anaconda386 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:47:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plot twist: GallowBoob is his real surname
JustaPCplayer ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 23:35:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess that a lot of social media managers are at least "part-time professional redditors" nowadays also. E.g. the representatives of gaming shops at /r/gamedeals
learath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Absolutely. I just wish it were a bit more above-board.
jama211 ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They're a professional redditor in the same way that I am a professional documentation reader because I happen to do it at my developer job.
Their profession is social media marketer or media manager or whatever, and mine is software developer.
learath ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And if you specialized in reddit?
RyanHowl ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 00:17:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's just general social media/brand work. No company would have a specified role as "redditor".
So yeah there's no such thing as a "professional redditor"
lygerzero0zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's kinda arguing semantics, but I'm mostly with you.
That said, I wonder if any brand is big enough to have a member of their social media team devoted only to Reddit...
geodebug ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:55:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Literally tons! Well maybe not tons but plenty or at least a few. But not what we think of as redditors, really, but people who do log into Reddit. So really almost none. Possibly zero but almost assuredly more than that. I think. Wait what was the question again?
IrrelevantLeprechaun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:36:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gallowboob is a professional redditor. He works for Buzzfeed so it's literally his job to trawl Reddit and find stuff. It also means he's very good at serial posting.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you go for the Russian Reddit shill conspiracy theory there's a whole bunch of people names Vladimir Redditor and Olga Redditora.
Master_McKnowledge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What the parent comment was trying to get at was the definition of "profession". Colloquially, the term "professional" (as you used it) applies broadly, albeit wrongly, to general paid employment.
Originally and by definition though, a "profession" refers to very specific types of work - like law and medicine. The distinguishing factor between a "profession" and mere "occupation" is that professions involve a long period of training and a formal qualification. They also usually involve ethics and codes of conduct.
PinchDuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Especially Russian ones.
APiousCultist ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 22:10:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also people naming surnames that already clearly exist.
ButternutSasquatch ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 22:01:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hence why half of Reddit is unemployed.
Flameofice ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:48:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This entire thread is a disappointment.
"DUDE UNEMPLOYMENT LMAO"
boxing_eagle ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:40:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor is indeed a profession if you're Russian.
arson_cat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:48:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I qualify on both counts! Where do I apply?
TedAlBundy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:15:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most of reddit is a bunch of teens and tweens pretending to be adults, this isn't surprising.
endisnearhere ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:51:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
triggered mods in the distance
NoobSailboat444 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:54:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moderator is a good name
endisnearhere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:55:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moddy for short?
NoobSailboat444 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mod is already short for it
endisnearhere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:57:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moderina
mag_safe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So many of these people probably don't have professions.
shimposter ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 02:47:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pleasure to meet you Mr. Buzzkillington! I look forward to your first visit to the west coast.
PhreakyByNature ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:25:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker?
Nazi_Zebra ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your future family name will be Mr Jokiller
Techiastronamo ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always have to ruin the fun, huh?
amylasey ยท 23 points ยท Posted at 22:09:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MR SANDWICH ARTIST
threewhiteroses ยท 102 points ยท Posted at 19:49:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. MommyBlogger
Mr. Influencer
eta: Ms. ItWorks!Rep
LocoKoko182 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:14:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is ItWorks? I've heard people talk about it, but I don't know exactly what they do besides something something scam.
philocity ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:52:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The pyramid scheme that everyone's sister bought into with her mom's money, then realized after 3 months of trying to sell gimmicky "health products" exclusively to family members who felt obligated to purchase them to support her, that not only was this not a lucrative business opportunity to begin with, she had neither the drive nor the business sense to be successful with it at any level. So she quit It Works and went back to a college to try and finish her communications degree which was already five years in progress because it took her four years to decide on a major in the first place.
But no, it's not like her immediate family warned her multiple times that if she bought into this stupid scheme that it'd not only be a waste of time and other people's money (because obviously she can't fund her "business ventures" herself because the last time she had a job she was 16), it'd also make her look like a retard to everyone she knows. And nobody can bring this point up to her or else she'll throw a fit, like a four-year-old in the body of a 22-year-old.
Hope that helps. I like to think I have a pretty good idea of how "It Works!"
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:19:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't ask ๐ต
RedSycamore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:34:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's just another weight loss scam. Instead of eating fewer calories (or burning more), you pay ridiculous prices for shakes/wraps/supplements to magic the pounds away.
philocity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ugh. The "wraps." That product has to be the most cancerous bullshit ever.
ParticleCannon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allow me to introduce Ms. Friendtofriendmarketing
CreepyPhotographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Ms SingleMommyBlogger
zvive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unfortunate for her son little Johnny Mommyblogger...
Rigaudon21 ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 23:07:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Whore, Amy Whore.
calor ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:50:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
we are all whores
fireysquid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:00:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
speak for yourself
fuzzydunlots ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:58:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jabooti Uberdriver has a nice ring to it.
Jackoosh ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 22:42:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Septic-Tank-Cleaner"
"Please; Mr. Septic-Tank-Cleaner was my father"
slaaitch ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 23:54:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm considering a move back to the old family name, Shitsucker."
UhDoubleUpUhUh ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 23:38:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There would be countless 20somethings in Silicon Valley with the last name "Ninja".
None would be assassins.
CA_Orange ยท 54 points ยท Posted at 19:19:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Monstertrucker
zachatree ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 22:52:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If we were only worthy of being that awesome.
poopy_toaster ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And my cat, Princess Monstertruck
DirtySingh ยท 35 points ยท Posted at 18:11:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matt Marketer.
LawnShipper ยท 119 points ยท Posted at 19:11:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debtslave.
Wilde_in_thought ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 22:43:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, Detslav...
Maffers ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:42:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Helpdesk.
cheesewedge12 ยท 28 points ยท Posted at 20:35:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Startup.
then we'd know who to kill first
Booji-Boy ยท 32 points ยท Posted at 21:26:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HI MY NAME IS JOHNNY YOUTUBE AND DON'T FORGET TO LIKE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE!
benjamin_jabituya ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 22:40:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Hi, I'm John. John Shitposter.'
[deleted] ยท 58 points ยท Posted at 18:18:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homebrewer
Progamer
Appmaker
Coder
Youtuber
Activist
Motivator
paul-arized ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:41:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Telemarketer
Daytrader
Sandwichartist
Realitystar
Cableguy
Dronoperator
Redditor
Alenthya ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:18:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motivator, Motivator.... why am I suddenly assualted with visions of neon lycra?
bahnmiagain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:55:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Brewman
*Appist
*Codistein
*Screensburg
*Loser
*Barista
FTFY
je1008 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
the second one is "pro-gamer"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Motivators just end up in a van down by the river.
Angelic_Doom ยท 38 points ยท Posted at 19:16:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minimunwager
bahnmiagain ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:52:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
*Smallwork
FTFY
pot88888888s ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:37:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Parttime and Mr.Jobseeker.
MtmJM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:08:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech
eudamme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:07:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Tech-Worcheir
Sonotmethen ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:31:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
BROGRAMMER
monsterinacage ยท 14 points ยท Posted at 22:41:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there, I'm James Cashier. This is my sister-in-law, Melinda Banker.
[deleted] ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:42:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
slaaitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Idara and Phil Cabehac.
Whupdidup ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 22:44:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deborah from HR would become Deborah H. R.
evilpersons ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 21:22:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the UK at least, a very common one would be Callcenteragentsson
AtTheDeskPressingX ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:41:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
going through my facebook it would suggest PT or Personaltrainer would be almost as common as my last name is now
tumblrthrowaways ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:18:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So would Mr DJ
justmadearedit ยท 20 points ยท Posted at 18:44:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cacheer.
teaprincess ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kashir.
butch1965 ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 23:25:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MemeKing
[deleted] ยท 43 points ยท Posted at 19:34:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 21:49:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
PartTimeLegend ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:56:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read every one of his books. Spoken to him a few times. He hates drop bears.
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:13:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Great book!
NdyNdyNdy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:15:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I loved that novel!
mistertime ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 14:05:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government and a Blaidd Dwrg username? I like you already.
[deleted] ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:56:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:15:01 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol. Can you explain each one of them ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:51 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:39 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How can u define livelihoods ?? XD
SexxxyWesky ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 18:29:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secretary, coder, cashier, seller, etc
paul-arized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ebayer
keirdre ยท 9 points ยท Posted at 21:59:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Dole or Mrs Jobseekersallowance
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing you're British. In the U.S. we had a Mr. Dole as the Republican nominee for president.
Unfortunately we refer to public assistance as "welfare" or "unemployment," so no one was amused by my jokes about the nominee for the party of personal responsibility and limited government being Mr. Dole.
[deleted] ยท 59 points ยท Posted at 18:16:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Beerblebrox ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:38:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor or IT?
learath ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 21:34:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor of IT.
pethatcat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A student that never graduates
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was shocked the first time I saw a doctor Google something.
Like, "Hey...i thought you'd know off the top of your head how much chocolate is lethal to a dog...you are a vet"
Calmecac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:52:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Calmecac McGoogler. Nice to meet you.
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:54:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Calmecac ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:59:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My English is not good enough to distinguish accents. I can hear and undertand the difference between people from India, USA and England... but I can not go deeper.
I do not know if it is just a myth but I have heard that people in London are able to know in which part of the city you live because of the accent.
Champion_of_Charms ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not a myth. It's a thing. If you watch enough BBC shows you can almost do it yourself. Almost.
AgentBlue14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet ya, Cal. My name's Brad, Brad Bingersson.
Calmecac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Where do you live? site:www.reddit.com no;mpg
Terracot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:12:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is he related to Chandler M Bing?
chaosbutters ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
no no no, that is called a "programmer"
mysticturner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So my village idiot would be Larry Googler.
PortonDownSyndrome ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:02:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caesar.
That's phonetic for CSR. And it gets even more disappointing once you realise what that stands for.
niktherussian ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:05:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More importantly, how does one get the last name Dickinson?
Holothrasher ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 00:15:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jake fromstatefarm
Pyro_Llama ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 00:23:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm currently in college and one of my hallmates has the last name Engineer. He's a business major though, so there's plenty of jokes to be had.
seattt ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 23:17:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aiden Actuary
Desmond Teacher
Stuart Trafficker
Sam Assembler
Stan Worker
Ford Servicer
Colt Appraiser
Gilbert Mediator
Roy Drafter
Finn Archivist
Leo Runner
Pierce Repairer
Dick Installer
Duncan Avionics
Gene Bartender
Ty Biller
Bill Bookkeeper
Deforrest Broadcaster
Pete Budgeter
Caleb Agent
Connor Cameraman
William Pilot
Cletus Executive
Fred Cashier
Al Chemist
Philip Chiropractor
Martin Choreographer
Sly Investigator
Dolph Adjuster
Craig Examiner
Randolph Cleaner
Parker Coach
Fitzroy Sprayer
Garth Setter
Sean Scouter
Silas Operator
Castle Tender
Rain Preparer
Jesse Server
Norm Designer
runed_golem ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 22:14:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher. Hi, I'm your teacher, Mr. Teacher but you can just call me Teacher.
punromantic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Who do you have this year?"
"I'm in Mr. Teacher's class!"
"Oh, me too!"
AngryFanboy ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 23:39:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if the Teevee Family look down on the Vlogger Family as 'new money'.
serpentwined ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:17:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oldkatladie
Destanio9357 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 19:52:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Activist.
Some of you may brush it off, but if you take the common definition away that's one badass name.
City-slicker ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 18:19:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Do you, Steven Bindipper take Chantelle ยฃ5-for-a-blowjob to be your lawful wedded wife?"
himself_v ยท 26 points ยท Posted at 18:26:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"No."
"No?"
"No."
masquer ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:28:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"How about you, William Stdgalore then?"
A40 ยท 13 points ยท Posted at 18:10:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Term, Partime, Casual, Temp, Piece, Day, Contract, Night, Swing, Shift, Phil, Unskill
[deleted] ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 18:47:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instamodel.
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cosplaymodel
MikeKM ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 20:48:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underwriter. My last name means that I analyze risk and guarantee to financially back someone and how they want to spend money, either through a loan or offering to insure them and make them whole in the event of a loss.
kish22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You must be fun at parties
MikeKM ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:57:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, if a building exceeds maximum capacity I'm going to call shenanigans. Especially if there isn't a sprinkler system.
InvidiousSquid ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:27:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, but that risk analysis. Imma hang out by you and you can tell me when I should get another beer before the keg is empty.
im_dead_sirius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gary Actuary?
Back2Bach ยท 39 points ยท Posted at 18:11:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollmeister.
xedd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shillberger
cornylamygilbert ยท 11 points ยท Posted at 21:44:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UBER
LYFTER
im_dead_sirius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teh name's Vaper. Darth Vaper.
BucketofFeet ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:38:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Parkourer
petite_philosopher ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 19:02:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But pronounced with a weird French accent, like "par-KOOR-ay"
probablyhrenrai ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:28:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ironically, "parkour" stems directly from the French "parcours."
valeyard89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Dirte
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 20:29:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leave Matt Hoss out of this.
BumperFin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M A T T E R O F L A W
iAMADisposableAcc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Q U I N T E S S E N T I A L
IamPun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You fucked now. Better call Saul
krak_this ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm guessing "professional parkour" is quite a limited group.
Google backs up my suspicion.
craignons ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Really though, as far as French last names go "Traceur" isn't a bad choice
SleepsontheGround ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:20:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultant. Everyone I meet is a fucking consultant.
onewordnospaces ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:14:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like you need a lot of help with fucking.
TheFire_Eagle ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 22:22:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Arthur Temp..."
Poweronreddit ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:38:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyste. I see so many job titles these days with either analyst, manager or executive thrown in to make the role sound fancier than they actually are.
Central_Cali1990 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:36:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nurser, Teller, Lawson, Checker, Techerson, Agent, Bagger, Attenderson, Guarder, Druggers, Actorio, Dent, Roaster, Barber, Courtstaff, Clerk, Fireguy, Sweepist, Flyer, Builder, Goldigga
CLint_FLicker ยท 195 points ยท Posted at 18:37:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi I'm John Redditor"
[deleted] ยท 30 points ยท Posted at 19:52:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It has a ring to it
Balfasaur ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 21:41:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Implying Reddit is a profession
elruary ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:29:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are plenty of people that get paid to reddit. Might not be in their job description though.
AKMan6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Implying it isn't.
Noisetorm_ ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 20:00:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can see that as a real name. It sounds nice to say to be honest.
[deleted] ยท 16 points ยท Posted at 19:56:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
god, I read john redcorn. just discovered that show....
[deleted] ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:18:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
UFOturtleman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here's to hoping if the revival becomes a thing, it's as good as the original.
xkforce ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:54:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Shitposter
Chip_Clydesdale ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 22:06:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So John unemploymentcheque?
candacebernhard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:40:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Gallowboobson
elruary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can totally see this being the new Smith of 3000AD.
Some kid in 4000 ad, why the hell is half the population name Redditor dad?
Well you see son, back in the 21'st century, in the dark ages where the population of the world barely had anything to do, they all flocked to this website called reddit...
john_boi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:05:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo
Hungryforfood2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There will be a lot of Mr & Ms Redditors
CLint_FLicker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:50:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe more Mr. Redditors.
Hungryforfood2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:10:05 on September 8, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well one of the two Mr usually is still the Mrs ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
shartoberfest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Op-bundle o'sticks
Alphasization ยท 15 points ยท Posted at 19:27:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
General Reposti
Bakon42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be it but II and know how He this lu Mowed us o
DrSwagnusson ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sorry sir, it's time for you to leave.
ProfessorFog ยท 10 points ยท Posted at 18:20:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dank-Memer. They'd be the wealthy Memers.
WeaponizedCannabis ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 18:41:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But what shall we call the oppressed and exploited class of memers?
Hahahahahaga ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:35:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/r/garlicbreadmemes
Anticitizen-1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Normies.
FlippantAsshole ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:28:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Archibald Dank-Memer, of the North shore Dank-Memers, pleased to make your acquaintance. Offers a bejeweled hand
tiltldr ยท 24 points ยท Posted at 18:34:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore
xedd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
Rugmuncher
Goatse
(For some reason I could see them all being friendly neighbors on a suburban Cul De Sac. :D "Yeah, the Goatse's are having a garage sale, along with the Rugmuncher's and the Fapper's. Check it out!" )
mynameis_neo ยท 19 points ยท Posted at 18:01:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker, Russiatrollski, Etherminer
MyDogMadeMeDoIt ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 21:25:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Let me introduce mr. Jonathan Adwords.
Stinky_Bastard ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:56:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homelesmith
Ombudsman_of_Funk ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 20:38:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Powerpointer
calor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
that's so sad.. here's a hug
IamPun ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:08:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Penetration Tester๐ฏ
hutxhy ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:29:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Salesman
roman1231 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 22:30:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does it change with your current profession? Does that mean teenagers would be John Studentson or Mary Scholar? What about people working two part-time jobs? Bill McDonald-Walmart?
Silver_Yuki ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:36:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder. Crafter. Brewer. Warrior. Vloggins. Webby. Slacker. Student. Foster. Fishy. White. Java. Blud. Shaker. Slayer. Wag...
Garlicluvr ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:06:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alan B'Stard. RIP Rik Mayall.
Happymeal93 ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 03:31:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dentist. Only slightly switched up a bit.
Probably something like Crentist.
Draakeragon ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 04:28:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson would be kinda weird.
Motolaser ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 20:17:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Burgerflipper, phd
OhAces ยท 29 points ยท Posted at 20:20:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
raymondduck ยท 17 points ยท Posted at 21:39:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally, somebody thinks of Tobias Fรผnke!
paul-arized ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 21:43:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I blue myself.
raymondduck ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:45:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think Mr professional twice over - an analyst AND a therapist - might have started as a double-barrelled surname which was shortened to Analrapist over time. Honey, we should have the Analrapists over for dinner!
TexasDD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anustart
BlayAndHowlie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pronounced a-NALL-rah-pist
TheUndeadKid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Therapist
hippiestyle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And yet no one said Mr Manager? For shaaaame, AD fandom.
AndyWarwheels ยท 21 points ยท Posted at 18:12:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techie
Copper
Hipster
ShortOkapi ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:22:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Came looking for Techie (much better than Tech imho), very glad for Hipster too. Had to find out what a copper was, I only knew the word Cop.
jama211 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:38:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hipster ain't a profession...
JorusC ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:11:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'd like you to meet our daughter, Elizabeth Camwhore."
BRAX7ON777 ยท 12 points ยท Posted at 19:03:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jadin Fidget Spinnerson
jonnyboy07111 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:10:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doller
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:09:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane Nursewellington
Ken Rollsaway
Aidan Coder
Sarah Diycraft
Johnny Beergood
Amanda Amazonian
redundantposts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:42:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk would be super common I think. Dickinson is still questionable, though.
jackhammer_joe ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:58:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickpicerson
macstanislaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Dickculture this is considered a Bird move
kafkadre ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conway
GoOnKaz ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:59:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some would still be relevant, such as Taylor, Miner, Baker, etc. though they'd probably be less common. It also makes me wonder how the naming process would work for something like assistant chefs and things like that.
Some new ones would be pretty cool though. Sports would make things interesting. Would they be named based on the sport they play? The fact that they play a sport professionally in general? The position they play in the sport? Who knows man.
Rob1150 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:15:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Add the word "Sous" or "Under" before the noun.
reduxde ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:28:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Steve ItsHardToExplain.
Swagler_420 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:29:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
"My name is John YouTuber" "How's it going Mr. YouTuber?"
Prints-Charming ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
Oileabhear ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:36:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You're forgetting patronyms, my friend. New ones would be things like Hunterson and Taylorson.
doverlover ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:39:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Data. Data Analyst.
BonerSupreme ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:40:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Budtender. Weedguy.
randomnighmare ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:41:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Come to the wedding of John Paperpusher and Michelle Spaceman.
Today, Roboter Computerguy, Joe Assman, Mitch Burgerflipper, and James Asskisser were arrested when they were caught trying to break into a house.
Bees35533553 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob panhandler Nick programmer Shane pornographer
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:55:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello.
Cmgeodude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a database specialist. My boss (who doesn't actually completely know what I do most of the time) introduces me as the data analyst.
Can I be Cmgeodude Specialanalyst?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:58:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Dabber
ascendant-one ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:01:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i mean my last name is gibson and a gib is a castrated cat so like...i would probably be, what a coincidence, a vet.
121PB4Y2 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:27:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Database curator's son would be Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;--
Zekromaster ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:29:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Little Bobby Tables"
faintedsquirtle ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Unemployed" has a nice ring to it
Anorexicboar1 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:35:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Tanya Socialmediainfluencer
TheLolmighty ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Therapist. Matt The Rapist.
shambol ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:39:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Macmonkey
ArilynMoonblade ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:51:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jenny Antivax and Johnny Vegan just started dating, did you hear?
OGcodyc ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:52:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gay porn star... Lance Buttfuckington
CabbageSloth ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:16:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Vlogger
memphishayes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:27:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gallowboob karmawhore
George-Spiggott ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:31:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll (not necessarily a job), Frieswithat, Landhawker, Officejohny, Checkoutchick, Nurse, Companyexcusegiver, Consuela, Toiletwipe.
Dudestennisball ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:32:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram model Maybe spelled insahmodรฉl
I_love_pillows ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Influenzer Basil Foodbloger
jerkstore ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Registermonkey, dualdegreeBarista, basementdweller.
Maker1357 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:37:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The name's Receiver...Dick Receiver"
ZirbMonkey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:58:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the Construction Industry:
BastRelief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:02:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Upvoted for Turdchaser. I'm going to use that someday, someway, somehow.
Seetherrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So what happens if you are ever promoted to foreman? Change the viewpoint and names?
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 01:43:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"camwhore"
Xiaxs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber.
Just think, Glenn Tuber could totally be a real person.
jochi1543 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:18:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rob SocialMediaInfluencer
neontrotski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How does that work?
I_wantdick_throwaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"StudentDebt or "DebilatatingLoans"
ZCZ4iOS ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:52:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Stripper walked down the street, waving hi to Dave Prostitute and Carl Dealer.
Hosni__Mubarak ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 02:55:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Major Major.
not_nsfw_throwaway ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:11:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:12:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Purple82Hue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Omg I'm LOLing so hard right now.
someonlinecreep ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 03:19:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl.
fuzzyshorts ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:04:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Pussywaxer
WaitTilUSeeMyDick ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wtf were the Dickinsons up to?
JesusDeSaad ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:05:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Dotcom
BoristheDrunk ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:12:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Joe Typeytype.
sicolekilla ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll somewhere in the world there'd be some Irishman named Martin whose a pilot. His friends call him Marty McFly
nzjeux ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:19:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neil Astronaut
TheManKnownAsB ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
Tacotunatoes ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:20:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornmongerson
mrtstew ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:23:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Copperthief
BabsBabyFace ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:30:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Geologist and Jane Adwords
speardane ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:34:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Attentionwhore
liztonicedtea ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:35:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chad Fuckboy
Necroticbanana ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger would be the new "Smith"
Somnabulism ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Instagrammer. Isn't that a profession now?
juanlaras ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:38:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Communitymanager or just John Comman.
Starfish_Symphony ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:41:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Kevin McChatbot."
Xayd3r ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James DownVoter
[deleted] ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 04:49:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtubah
tuxmanexe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats acyually great.
Joshua Youtubah
Byron_Blitzkrieg ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 05:19:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Chaturbate, Mary Motherless, Peter Pirate-Bay, Yvonne Youtuber, Sammy Silkroads, Ethan E-Sport, Wally Warcraft, Polly Pornhub, Dave Shit-Poster, and Roger Memer
RSTUVdoubleVXYZ ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 08:19:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi there, Sylvester Sysadminson, nice to meet you
oldcrow210 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 11:12:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For IT help desk professionals:
Offanonagain.
feAgrs ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 12:29:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore
mochasweetbaby ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:01:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
Vulture1980 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 16:19:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Tesburys Stackshelfer
DoctorBre ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 19:04:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tsabaggagescreenersen
[deleted] ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 18:47:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Domainowner
LthePerry02 ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 21:27:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tyler Numberninewillshockyou Canetti
Guesty_ ยท 4 points ยท Posted at 23:06:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. StealYoGurl
lurker4lyfe6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
His best friend is Captain SaveAHo
RedditAdminsSuckIt ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:18:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Stilllivingathome
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 18:46:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger.
blacksabbath1970 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:05:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer sounds badass
warmchinchilla ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:06:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Khloe and Kim Famousforbeingfamous
coolplate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken and egg
d4rud3_sandst0rm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:07:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitute
yomerol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"รskorte, the e is mute"
headlining1995 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:14:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gramstar (For the Instafamous)
rasras4 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:51:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber
PolishPeopleAreGross ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:26:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Unemployablealcoholic
YourTurnSignals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:46:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's Stripper. Cody Stripper.
memorysphincter ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:51:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlog.
"Ah, yes, Jebediah Vlog, the infamous son of Thorbid Vlog, a most notable over-sharer of all of his life's travesties."
dtembe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:55:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hodler
Dilinial ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:00:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Flufferson
Nathan Stripperson
Carol Welfareson
Doug Comedianson
Luke Dogwalker
Elijah Escortson
Blake Bouncerson
Bartholomew Pimpson
David Chokesondick (deepthroat pornstar)
Stacey Gamedevson
Wesley Sniperson
Laurence Fisherman
Keanu Reseller
Benastick Checkinsnatch (gyno)
Lucy Lawyer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jon Paul Youtuber
Imwrektdad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:01:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman Hackerman
PaulMaulMenthol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, scripter, flipper, cashier, custodian to name a few
WestTexasOilman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman!
Rongorongo2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:45:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kaylee Social Justice Warrior.
madtwyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:48:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Memer
jda760 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy procrastinator
HeadfirstLuke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thought instantly of Nerd3.
Legndarystig ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coders would be called scripter. Y'all need to go to art school to get some creativity.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blasphemy!!! Scripting and coding are not synonymous!! ๐ต
Seetherrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ya, but some people want to make money after they graduate...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brownnose
BusinessPenguin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:58:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admin
alt-lurcher ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:02:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lackhome.
Schiffy94 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Moderator
m_o_n_t_y ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:03:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Customersupportman
amirtaghan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:06:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name Blogger would be very popular.
cxaro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The reason "Smith" became such a popular name is because it was such a necessary profession that almost every town was likely to have one, but it was a skilled enough profession that most towns would have only one, making it noteworthy that this person was the Smith. With all the massive cities we have now, finding professions like that would be a bit harder. For example, calling someone "Coder" stops being helpful when all 50 people they work with are also coders as are all the 50 people in the building a few doors down.
megapenpen07 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an artist and my first name is Penny.
Nickname Pen - Utensil most used = Pen
Miss Pen Pens' the name.
zazenbr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:07:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder. Johnny Coder.
Creabhain ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Blogger
corrupta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:08:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Coder
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:10:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. DatabaseAdministrator
cory-balory ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
gouvah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:16:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Blogger
TransitJohn ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:19:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
AxeellYoung ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Blogger
_mach ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:20:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
HACKERMAN!!!
theycallmeepoch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Fluffer. Frank Fluffer. (double entendre)
DaringCaramel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson.
SalesyMcSellerson ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well It's funny you ask...
iwishicouldthink ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Finally your time to shine!
S2LL7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:24:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jessica Camwhore
justamber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:26:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emoji translator
EyeLike2Watch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nathaniel Shitpumper
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi I'm David Mysteryshopper"
Mecheng46 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:28:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Forumer
Shazamer
Instagrammer
Jobhunterson
Kodison
ScizorSci ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Builder. Bonus points if the middle name is "the"
wherethelootat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:30:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty guru or just guru
mancroft ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:33:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter
poopscooper34234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:34:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cathy Mommyblogger
amerikitsch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:35:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
piewife ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the MLM surnames would need to be non-English
McAmway La Roe Unice (pronounced you-NEE-chay) McAvonn Vectorre
Seetherrr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is off-topic, but I think Avon might not be the worse thing out there. This girl I know from high school is killing it at Avon. Maybe she is just lucky or something but she has won multiple cars in their sales contests and every month or two there is something on her Facebook regarding her successes there. Like I said, maybe she is a major outlier but she seems to be quite successful soing it.
piewife ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:42:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would have to agree with that--maybe be she is an outlier but out of all the MLMs out there, Avon is probably the most successful simply because it's one of the oldest and not everyone does it anymore. I feel like the market would be less saturated for Avon than for something like Lula Roe.
mcoca ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:36:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant Server Manager Lyft Tech Associate
GarySe7en ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:37:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fanboy-Webtroll
MankyBusiness1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Online xbox player: Robbie MotherFucker
nindza1979 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Coder, Jonathan Manager, Wesley Sniper, Charlie Pilot, Martha Steward, Ewan McBlogger, Catherine Analyst, Allen Druglord, Joey Junkie :)
geekphreak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joseph Bitcoin? Jonny Cyber? Timothy Cypher?
roonic86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver, budtender
Joonith ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't mind the last name "Barista", sort of sexy.
exec_director_doom ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:43:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Analyst.
In US English it would be simplified to Steve Analist.
scattershotthoughts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista.
thebriton ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Young Ms Fluffer. Showing such promise in the adult entertainment business.
CleptoCrab ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vapereviewer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:45:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looking at the Bureau of Labor Statistics, I would guess Clerk --> Clark, Seller, Cash, and Cook all seem straightforward. With Nurse, Secretary, Waiter, Driver, and Manager, I'd have to guess. How about: Healthful, Scrubs,Florence, Nightingale, Aid, Sec (with multiple spellings), Server, Page, Waiter --> Ayer? ( I just said it a lot and let my words blur together) , Boss, Bossman --> Bosman, Corporate, Rig, Packer, Cabbie, Uber, Courier. But, also worker participation has been dropping slowly and steadily* , so possibly Bum and Beggar, too.
TawxicMahshrooomz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now I know where "Gaylord" came from.
Aurum_MrBangs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper would be an interesting one. Though I don't think it sounds bad. I honestly kind of wish new last names were made (can you choose your child's last name)
JaneDoeThe3rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In the United States and some other countries, yes you can.
bingybunny ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karl Uberdriver
smurfpokeman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:52:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
xDylan25x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That fits rather well as a name IMO.
ACannabisConnoisseur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Accountantson
arul15 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:59:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Were the surnames really created using professions?
CoSonfused ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes. Really. And it's not limited to just English. Dutch, French, German... Loads more countries did the same.
Satanic-Jesus-3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:07:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of them, yes. British Islanders and Northern Europeans didn't really care much about surnames until about a thousand years ago, and many adopted words based off of their professions to distinguish themselves among their local areas.
Thomas was a blacksmith- Thomas Smith.
Michael made pots- Michael Potter.
Anthony was a bill collector- Anthony Biller.
Many others simply adopted the names of their cities or towns, or took the first name of their father and added "son" to it (i.e., Johnson, Jackson, Erikson, etc.).
And that is how last names in the British Isles, Northwest/Central Europe, and Scandinavia came about.
bruteMax ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
dyeeyd ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techenstein
Skizzer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:03:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Callcenter
Ms. Daycare
Mrs. Scentsy
Bears_On_Stilts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Deskman would be the new Mr. Smith of the 21st century white collar workplace.
And also Ms. Multilevel.
_This_Is_Stupid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:04:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read Jennifer Government for exactly this premise.
DrP-DrPapa ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnson/Jackson=Leftogetmilk
What-Knot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:08:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephanie Stillwaitingfor-Soroscheck
Patty Paid-Protester
Ripper33AU ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista.
xMilkstachex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:09:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's gonna be hard to find Adam Granddragon schooling...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
LordTerrence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I up voted you. Now stop whining.
mintockthemindtaker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This post is so good we will certainly see several reposts in the near future.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:10:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is Clerk already a name? Would be a lot of those.
FoolZerrand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ann L. Proctologist
uberpwnzorz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Script
ManGriffin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephanie Livewebcams.
Illusiphix ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:11:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Picklerick... Just kidding
How about Unixdev? Or James Vloggerman :D
rhiannatheige ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:12:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I had no idea that's where those names came from. Mind blown.
Langer1banger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:13:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Harold Freeloader.
saram_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:14:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doleman
galacticboy2009 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name's Socialmediainfluencer.
Jake Socialmediainfluencer.
pradeepkanchan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:17:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, first name Declan
friends call me -DeCoder
Bababooey247 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
Fapperson
ChefGoyardeeNYC ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:19:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dentist. Dr. Crentist
ChestWolf ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:20:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cops, attorneys and judges could all be called Lawman.
MableXeno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or Lawperson. Since most jobs aren't specific to a gender.
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genderbender.
Ms_Chevious_Cat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:25:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't improve on any of the responses, but this is my favorite question, in like a long, long, time,
C-r-i-s-p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Stealy
Jawasus_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:29:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet my secretary, Mrs. Secretary
DrVirite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:30:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of Jennifer Government
sylver_dragon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:31:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For professional anglers they can always be: Baiter.
Just don't become a martial arts master.
natephant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:32:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Individual contributor
apples_teo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/ms Server. For those in the related tech industries and for those waiting tables
adiaz0126 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stockbroker
Mr. & Mrs. Broker
Vanheden ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Consultant
Ego-et-Michaelus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:33:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Redditor Mr. Memer Mr. Youtuber Mr. Artist Mr. Gamer Mr. Comic Mr. Protester and lastly Mr. Banhammer
hcsLabs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Windowssupport
Stephalopod86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Labtech Mr. Industrialtech Mr. Lineoperator Mr. Landscaper Mrs. Publicrelations Mrs. Accountant Just a short list of people I know and their professions
MLaw2008 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer. Pronounced Dezinyay
AmyXBlue ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trimmer, Harvest, Grower, Weed in general.
Jiffiestgifs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Tom Twitter.
BazingaBen ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Blogger.
lilcapt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Handy Fluffer
Tickle_Shitz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:35:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Is that why my last name is Hooker?!
...Grandma?
Bitcoincoolj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn star? Bob fucker,
Escort ?
Bob payformypussy
ehmesdee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammodel
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit dude, thank you for this post. This gave me buckets of ideas for writing post-apocalyptic dark age literature!
As for your question, James Edgelord, Bobby Anonymous, Thomas Memelord, Peter Shitposter, Robert Kek, oh god...
WhoresAndWhiskey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Filthylucre
ArtfulLounger ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:36:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. TheHackerKnownAs4chan"
Wait_What_Happened ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol this thread sucked.
hannahlovesme ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:37:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Jizzmopper
garythegreg ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ScrumMaster
Hoosteen_juju003 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckboi
RapSkallon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pilots.
Jerry Airliner, Scott Flyerson, Janet Landerman
OPTCThunderbolts ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Gaylord Gamer. Pleasure to be of service.
rattatatouille ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
Troll
Camwhore
cH3x ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:39:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intern
Exoplasmic ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:40:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memomaker. Regulater Bureauman. Pencilpusher. Deskjocker. Paperman. Redtaper.
pdrago_7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex Target. Daquan Staples.
Diabetesh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Burgerflipper.
David Deepfryer.
Stephen Sandwich-Artist.
tchaffee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:41:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There has to be a lot of Karen Cashier out there.
MurderIsRelevant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:45:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Jesus Christ! It's Jason Porn!"
DenormalHuman ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:47:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Anon. Anon 4chan.
FullNoodleFrontity ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Shitsucker that guy who drives honeywagons that clean out porta-potties, airliner toilets...
codevii ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:53:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damn, I guess I could be Joe BAS...
Or Automation. Or go really long and be Buildingautomationsystems.
Just doesn't have the same ring as 'Miller' or 'Baker'.
NintendoTim ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's hard for me to see current day professions as surnames in their current state, so I'm just run them through some level of corruption and pretend this will be cited in their respective Wikipedia etymology sections:
I really wanted to try and find something to fit my job - service desk technician - but I got nothing.
Norvigos ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista. Dave Barista.
NemTwohands ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathon Moderator
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Twerker
GroundhogExpert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:58:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
rfunnyfiend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
VonBeegs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streemerson.
JacksxN1ghtmar3 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:59:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coder
Vitis_Vinifera ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:00:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pleased to meet you. Eric Forumtroll.
yobogus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:01:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Have you met my friend, Jimmy Spawncamper?"
ballstatemarine ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Judging by the lexicon of the last year, Cuck.
Jerimiah ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:02:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Gallowboob
riderkicker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill O'Journalist?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:05:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rajesh Techsupportcallcenter
FuckStairs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We would all become one big extended family with the name "Debt-Slave".
Prof_Insultant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Boardmasher, Electronics Tech.
julbull73 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
beanloopy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:06:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst?
RepoMantaur ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:08:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack & Judy Blogger
dogbiscuits29 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Startup
Farting_Menace ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Offan. When she gets married, she becomes Mrs Onagan
DeFex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spammer
Shortbus218 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Artisanmicrobrewer
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dick blogger
ShadowWolf58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You lied to me
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
did not
ShadowWolf58 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for edit :)
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
;)
ProfessorXjavier ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thotson.
Man8012 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:10:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald
sometimescash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:11:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Q. 4chan.
aether_tech ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:12:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Streamermaster
Tony Y'Tuber
Carol Selfiewhore
Durham1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hannah Instagrammah
Mastur_Of_Bait ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alice PornStar
CreatrixAnima ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:14:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck Poultrydebeaker
Sierra Frontendmanager
Trey Qualityassuranceconsultant
And let's not forget
Bob The-i-t-guy.
evilpeopleinc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if the Welfare family will be holding up the family traditions in the future.
AfroClam ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:15:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Portia Brokeinstagrammodel
hernerrrrr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammodel
aleppe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:16:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name's Mortimer, Mortimer Ellegeebeetee.
But refer to me as "it", please.
bbuttonfluff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:18:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my mate is a dr.... of the nether region variety... says it "just happened" but I suspect there was some interest and planning...He has absolutely no Jewish heritage but I am 100% up for passing a law that his last name should become "Winkletoucher". Our generation and those that come after us should know what these people intend!
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:19:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Ronald Fluffer. Nice to meet you." [extends hand]
zosaj ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:20:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reginald Codesmith
joeld42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This reminds me of a book called "Jennifer Government" where everyone was assigned the surname of their employer. E.g. Robert Google, Tony McDonalds, etc..
unsharedhappiness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read the same book years ago one night in a Denny's. Loved it at the time, probably didn't age well.
SwatchQuatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:21:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lonnie Memegenerator
npericone ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:22:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nicholas Dankmemecreator
MistrX ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Reginald Redditor. But you may call me Redge."
MrSheoth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:23:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stay in school kids. Or you'll end up like Wendy McDonald King.
Andreuccio ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:24:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Startup's a real piece of work. Whole family a gaggle of repugnant permanent millennials
AFistFulOfRupees ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:25:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephen Neckbeard
CaptainNapalm22 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cisco Admin, at your service!
Xyzminstrel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:26:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, my name is John Twitter."
mcmanybucks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
UnemployedArtDegreeStudent
J0Aco777 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gregory Pornstar...
ColemanSimmonsArt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:27:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Mememaker
TheRealMrsElle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:28:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Livesinhisparentsbasement Kathy Sucksthewelfaresystemdry Joan Fivebabydaddy Carter Etsystoreowner
hotrox_mh ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:29:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Jenny Camwhore..."
showerexpert ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:30:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last name: Wage. Middle name: Minimum.
dyingbreed360 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don Youtuber Jennie Intern
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Groundskeeper
Mr_Tea-Bag ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:31:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT professionals should be Hackerman
baconberrystrudel ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you seen what the new girl is wearing today?..whats her name again...
Oh yeah, Jessica. Jessica Cosplay
TheBlackDelta ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John NoSkope, professional olympian gamer
BDR330 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:32:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would be "drivingcoordinator"
cidergeorge ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello. My name is Mr. Stuntcock.
PatsCelts1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:33:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Troll meet Ms. Uber
starshame ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Reddit
jcrawford1218 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Bob Singer/Songwriter
TitanRaven ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:35:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Jesus Youtuber. That's Hay-zeus Yo-tubber.
BasharK ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:36:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Programmer
Neraquox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker would honestly be one of the best last names ever
Commissar_Genki ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm. How about Sanwichcraft or Gamerson.
LargeSticker ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech? Mower? Streamer? Trucker? Escort?
boyuber ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multilevelmarketer.
taglius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
SG-1_20YEARS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:37:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"What's that one Dany girls name again"
"think it was something like Daenerys The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons"
"Oh yea that's it, bet she's happy she doesn't have to write all that on a job application"
Runningwolph ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:39:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Long list, but did anyone mentioned Alice Gamer?
Orthodox-Waffle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Gottfucher
enis_with_a_p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:41:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Sendnudes. Seymour Sendnudes
ManFlavored ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:46:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who the hell came up with the name Dickinson? How could that be a profession?
programmer01135 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There'd be a lot of folks with the surname "Unemployed" and "Lazy" (the former does not always imply the latter)
Neon_Scrotum ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer (as in the porn industry), Wanker (as in upper management), Whiner-Bitcher (as in feminism).
eroms101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:48:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
sportsman, racist, drunkard, smoker
Rose_Lite ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Signspinner married Judy DogPoopScooper last year, and it was quite the fete.
Vadhakara ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:52:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I was in the Army with a guy named Bradley Terminal, and I always wonder what his ancestors did for a living.
number1booty ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:53:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tobias Analrapist
EmilyNeves ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:56:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emily Freelance
steamtroll ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:59:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is going to get buried, but I thought it was interesting to share.
Jennifer Government by Max Barry uses this as a plot point.
In the novel, people take on the name of the company they work for as their last name. You literally have Violet ExxonMobil, John Nike, Jennifer Government.
BastRelief ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idiocracy names it's characters similarly!
steamtroll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I still haven't read that. Got to get on top of this stack of books...
BastRelief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No no no..it's a ridiculous movie. Take your time :)
Lord_Janyx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:00:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Son, don't waste your time with Kathy Camgirl. Everyone knows those Camgirls are up to no good.
existential_prices ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:03:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Streamsniper
Lasercat1975 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:04:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Jasperov ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs (or Blogs) would actually be quite a popular name
municy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:07:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckboi would be rather popular in the LA yellow pages
ub3rh4x0rz ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now give me 5 upvotes before I'm buried.
NMJ87 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:09:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Construction would have some mundane ones but also some funny ones.
Marie Carpenter
Thomas Painter
Caleb Framer
Jeffery Welder
Alexa Floater
rs71 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:12:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Outlaw was a dope name
Rachel_buck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:13:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rachel Lazypeaceofshit
sceneturkey ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:14:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer, Richard Fluffer.
Bogus4Real ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:15:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Contentcreator
JiraTheWasteWanderer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roger Future-Software-Engineer
bobbyfiend ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:16:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper? Did someone already say Fapper? Not for any particular reason... but this is Reddit, right?
Castun ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm, Phishers would include Nigerian Prince scammers and the like...
BuzzFeed journalists could be NewsArtists...
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:18:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My first thought was Deliveryman or Pizzadeliveryman.
UnclePepe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Tammy Welfarequeen is pregnant again. What's that, six or seven? I wonder if this kid will have the same dad as any of the others?"
nbomb220 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:19:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corporations will probably buy last names so people would be walking advertisements
jmgs000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitute Stripper Hit man Baller (basketball)
keto-matt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:20:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny CivilEngineer
Astrangerindander ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:21:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
BuSpocky ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 01:47:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
President 4chan.
wolfchimneyrock ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Fullstack
fuego666 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:02:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weedman
krazay88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:05:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tobias Analrapist
MistYNot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:06:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:07:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Youtuber or Mr. Streamer
kat_fud ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:16:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Neckbeard
Newsman
Anchorman
Klansman
Guru
Hedger
Trollman
Colorman
Pundit
Powerbroker
Crackwhore
Babydaddy
Sugardaddy
Busker
Famous
Submariner
Trawler
Unnamedsource
Leaker
Wageslave
Welfarer
Fireman
Junkman
Recycler
Oilman
Roustabout
Driller
Toolpusher
Mudlogger
Machinegunner
Tractorman
Plaintiff
Dungeonmaster
Prankster
Asphalter
Showrunner
Pillpopper
Doper
Dealer
Waiter
Showhost
Rapper
Rocker
Drunkman
Sandblast
Camwhore
Redditor
ITSxDARE ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:17:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a friend named Dick Barber, he owns a pubic hair salon.
20InMyHead ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:18:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DROP TABLE; students--
Exelbirth ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:19:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could just boil it down to a general name: wageslave.
Of course, small percentage of the population could also have the name Cellmate.
NetBender ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marques Dbrand
laportez ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:20:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Memer
eggtropy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:22:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Content Creator
richmondmooper ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:24:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
would "Uber" count?
loochie_ ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:29:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello. It is I, Peter Tvshowbingewatcher."
djangogol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger.... James Blogger
LowsideSlide ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:30:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Coder would be an okay name
werekitty93 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:32:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In real life, I had these three teachers:
Ms. Story - head libriarian
Mr. Gardner - agriculture teacher
Mrs. Louder - chorus teacher
shitposter1000 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My reddit name works for that.
adjason ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:35:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tygermum
aiydee ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitdiver (Or more Professionally: Wastewatercleaner).
dMarrs ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
romcombo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:37:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keeping Up with the RealityTelevisionStars has a certain ring to it
teaching-man ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rebooter, a tech support professional.
tsustyle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would porn actors have the last name "Fucker" or "Actor"?
amopdx ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pharmtech
Steelers30 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:38:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeff Excel
Badwolf_the_Chef ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
President Donald J. Gettingsuedenough
yukonwanderer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:39:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is depressing:
David Paperpusher
Sarah Cadmonkey
Richard Technician
Donald Freeintern
Amy Indipendantcontractor
Suzie Realtor
Ingmar Influencer
Carl Linetech
StrikeAnywherePanda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:41:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, well, well... look what the cat dragged in. How are you John Banker-GamestopAssociate. Think you're fancy because you have two last names?
mrrudy2shoes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sam Vlogger
Whomastadon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Shitposter
I_AM_THE_REAL_GOD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spaceman, Dr. Spaceman
box-of-butthurt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:42:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Philip Telecommunicationsmanager sat down in front of his fireplace pondering what he should wear for his Tinder date.
DeoxysSpeedForm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Jazmine Instagrammer
franklindude ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:43:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Juan Scammer
511Sinto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's 'Mr.' Fluffer to you
1mreadtalldid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:44:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Walfare sounds about right
ebslack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Slack, I guess that says a lot about my family.
Cheese_wand ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:45:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Raj ITsupport
OldBenKenobi85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:46:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
jshaw1020 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hitchcock
Phrasing101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:47:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Imcallingtotellyouaboutafreecruiseyouwon
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:48:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Unemployed II
_paaronormal ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:52:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stanley H.R. Generalist
Link_the_Fox ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:58:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would be Legalle-Annaliste.
ramplocals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 02:59:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
tastefulchrist ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:00:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They'll call my son "Jonny Brokeass"
aquaqmar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Tech" would be a cool last name. Maybe a few more "Drivers". A multitude of movie names like "grip" and "lighting"
Ovedya2011 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:05:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taylor Neckbeard III.
laxaddict11 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:12:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker
alwaysawhitebelt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:13:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DeLaPole
Junk-Bot_7 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:14:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Makes2000DollarsADayWorkingFromHomeAndYouCanToo
JellyMule ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Dredd family has a new offspring. Meet, Judge...Judge Dredd.
LoquaciousJeff ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:15:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Abraham Pizzadeliveryboy
Ramsays4Skin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:16:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oxyseller, Hookerson, Transvestiteson
Gogoat_Overlord ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:17:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey Ladies. I'm Richard, Richard Urologist.
ethcist1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ken UX. "It's pronounced you-ex, goddamit."
Kevin QA. That's Qua, for crying out loud.
hi_its_not_me_lol ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:19:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fromstatefarm, Jake
Bamto ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:21:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm Johnathon SoundcloudRapper.
Karmic_Backlash ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:26:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. & Mrs. Protester. Spelled "Ghroughtehctir"
vicemagnet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:27:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales McSalesface
SMOOTH_ANUS ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memesmith
jtlannister ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:31:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Shitposter
Zasdfr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Networkson (IT dude) Ron Powerman (electrician) Bill Framer (rough in carpenter) Ken Petrolson (Oil Field dude) Carrie Receptionham (receptionist) John Numberson (accountant) Fred Luberson (Preventative Maintenance)
usmcawp ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:42:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting story; my last name actually translates "plow-maker" or "plow-man". There is not much work now-a-days but OP's mom keeps us employed.
HitByCar070901 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:47:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dildoliers, because sometimes you just don't know which sex toy is right for you.
ArcticRhombus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Presenting Richard and Virginia Dildoliers.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:48:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter
whoadang88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:53:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Ms Accountant
lonewofl_32 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:54:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
doyer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 03:55:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Unemployed
creperobot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:00:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Routerjock
123DanB ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:04:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer is a good one.
My name would be Danny Developer. I kind of like that.
starlinghanes ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paperpusher. It would basically describe 75% of all jobs.
resplendentquetzals ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:05:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samantha T. Instagrammer
futurepussy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:07:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dan Kmeme
HaloZorro ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someones last name. Butts.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:09:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bouncer, surfer, barber .....fishfrycook
TylerL252 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John gaypornfilmer
yanlost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:10:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Edward Edgelord
Inesophet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gordon Microbrew
ermergerdberbles ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:12:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Busdriver or simply Driver.
fretit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:13:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter
DasLizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:15:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hoebetrippin
nvbombsquad ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:17:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaylord Focker
rouseco ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel sorry for Pete Narcson. He's not going to get invited to many parties in High School.
CanniBallistic_Puppy ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:19:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SocialMediaInfluencer
Or NotAJob for short.
bisho234 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:20:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pimp
silver-jew ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:21:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Youtubefamous
SticksAndSticks ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Webdev
farrat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:22:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Talon and I'm a Correctional Officer. Not sure how that would sound.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:24:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Social Media Organizer
DarkArachnid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:25:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistantbranchmanager
Penosaurus_Sex ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:26:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Derp Fidgeter
some_witty_username ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
BlueFreedom420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:28:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Govtcheck.
DrQuin305 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:29:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Googler
thtopit ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'puterguy
krispietron ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slacker
sbourwest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:34:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Mr. Assembler
slowmstr ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:38:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
ShadowL42 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier Cook Washer Collector (debt) Student Intern Server
counterstruck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:39:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Vesiculus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:40:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Since my dad's company is in the porta potty/mobile sanitary business I guess I could be called...
... Mr. Shitson
My dad would probably agree with that name.
NYSenseOfHumor ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:41:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
Throwaway_2-1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:42:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Last year's least popular surname, AssistantCrackWhore, has been replaced by a new least popular surname: CrackWhoreTrainee.
Zophyael ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Builder.
Oinkidoinkidoink ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:43:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles Clickbaiter.
Karl_Satan ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:44:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Dishwasheur
Steve Leincรผk
Joseph Soshilmidyamaneger
DarkAvarice86 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:45:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seaessar - CSR
Tyfc - Thank You For Calling
Cubicler
Twitcher
Rugon ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:46:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:51:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on today's most widely-held jobs and popular names from the turn of the century, the following would be common:
Jacob Salesperson.
Alexis Cashier.
Matthew Server.
Emily Officeworker.
Tyler Nurse.
John Representative.
And, of course, Mike Unemployed.
BinaryIRL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:56:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Covfefe
lilyth88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:11:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lilyth88 Vettech here. Pleased to meet you
lozergeek ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:16:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Read that as vette tech. Bitchin! Then realized and thought, yeah that's alot cooler...more pups
lilyth88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the pups
art8127 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:14:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Executive-Assistant.
"Your name is Steve Executive-Assistant?"
"Yeah, my family changed it from Secretary."
door21 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:20:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Parsi community in India already have surnames like Doctor, Engineer and Artist. They use the suffix "wala" to mean something like "-person" or "-guy", so they have names like Bankwala and even Acidwala. The most extreme I've ever heard of is "Sodabottleopenerwala" (probably apocryphal)
MRDIII ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:24:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer, Streamer, DelTwitch/McTwitch, O'Tuber/Youtuberson.
m1k3hunt ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:25:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
RekrabGrimm ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Listiclesmith
Contentwright
Bloggerstein
Trendsmith
candyman_forever ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:39:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, as in John Coder!
R_Lupin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe vlogger
eht1 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Contentstrategist
TFCarrot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:40:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Irralfar ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Spinner
Poison_Ctrl ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:41:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Webber
apathyontheeast ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:42:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would just hope for "counselor" instead of "the-rapist"
thischarmingman007 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Escort
sittingprettyin ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:43:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Coder and his friend Dave Deskrider
MrRockolate ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 05:44:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised no one's said this: Streamer. It actually has a nice ring to it.
"Hi, I'm Jason Streamer, nice to meet you. SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON"
DouJiYanLoL ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:15:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonaldsEmployeeoftheMonth
beyondthehominid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:16:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder would be a common name, but the lineage might not stick.
awesome_sauce91 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:18:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Lyft, Axel Lyft.
satyr75 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:20:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Wageslaveson
Wendy_Clear ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:22:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customerservicerep
PostmortemFacefuck ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:25:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spammer
derrickcope ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:26:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Derrick Redditor
shartoberfest ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:27:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party but:
Katie Pornhub
kotsniezka ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:31:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meatbeater
wakaawak ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:33:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typer
ResistingSphere ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:41:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Tuber?
Dwayne_dibbly ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:42:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrounging-motherfucker. Or Doleynojob
webbc99 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:02:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imaging all spies having the surname "Spy" would be hilarious.
HashPram ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:04:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
Dreckiger_Ewald ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:09:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freelance
Fenton296 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:10:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed?
PJM1990 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:12:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
Sidaeus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:14:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tina Twerker
Craigrofo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:32:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can get paid for it?!!!!!
beard_meat ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:25:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Blogger married Stephanie Mememaker in a private ceremony.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:33:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Etsycraftard
Secondwife
Vapemerchant
MonkeyAmbush ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:34:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roadmanson
SenpaiGotLaid ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 07:47:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cathy Even
Earl Fitzgerald Spinner
Donald Dab
supacrusha ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:01:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wheres Jeffrey Unemployed?
Simon_Kaene ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 08:56:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Repeatoffender.
They have a troubled life, but are ultimately happy despite this.
thinblueline85 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:05:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
eyedonno ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 09:09:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Reginald Redditor.
Jeffery Allen McTriggered.
Gene Harvey Liveswithparents.
milku3459 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:21:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
More interesting would be having to name your children your ship-name.
Fleer57 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:22:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuberson
superarmandbros ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 10:40:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
gloebe10 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 11:46:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hans รberdriver.
DerpHounD ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:10:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could become Mr. Manager!
AMonte ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:43:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We'll just say Manager.
VeryMuchDutch101 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:22:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Specialist
Be-Rye ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:29:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can Mr Fudgepacker please report to the reception desk.
Thank you
TaylorDaGolfer ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 12:37:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
AMonte ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:42:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catholic priest?
SparkleFairy-2803 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 13:24:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan DeBugger
MuhBack ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 15:58:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We would know who goes to Reddit because their last name would be Engineer.
rudyreif ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Blogger
mitom2 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:20:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"mr. Smombie, tell me about your family."
"back then, in the dark ages after Michael Jackson's death, my great-gerandfather was running around on the streets looking into his smartphone like a zombie, until he ran into my then-would-be great-grandmother doing the same. they were smartphone-zombies, so we got our family name."
"very interesting story. and why did your parents name you iSteve?"
ceterum censeo "unit libertatem" esse delendam.
Taftimus ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:22:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:30:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor
DrSmirnoffe ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 16:36:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess maybe Sniper would be a family name. After all, sniping's a good job, mate!
Maybe Flipper, too, since flipping burgers is a common profession.
JakeFromHyperion ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:21:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight D. Assistanttotheregionalmanager
ictoa88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:24:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitcoin
someguy7734206 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:42:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Drugdealer.
crabbix ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 18:33:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram-whore, as a hyphenated double-last name
paul-arized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karma-whore
HMCetc ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:35:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Barista sounds kind of cool.
MaddingtonFair ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:41:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Manager
Ryuksan2021 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 20:51:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, manager, we just say manager...
SoapSudGaming ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:08:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MinecraftLetsplayer
wednesdaysaunters ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 21:12:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrician would sound a bit crap but Sparky wouldn't sound bad!
booyatrive ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:56:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver would be the most popular name by far.
chillspicey ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:43:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do online platforms count? Michael Twitcher, Bob Tuber, Joan Gramer, Alice Blogger.
ConvenienceStoreDiet ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:16:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight AssistantToTheRegionalManager
Larry T. Cableguy
Tobias Analrapist
yallwrongfodisone ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:32:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Putinscockholster
dafuuuuq ยท 7 points ยท Posted at 18:02:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Protestor
Olorin_in_the_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paidprotestor
FadingEcho ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 23:12:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beth Offended
Jill Safespace
Steve Diversity
[deleted] ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 07:19:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professions. The question was about professions. Not your personal imaginary demons.
drkztan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Considering we now have positions like "Head of diversity" and "VP of diversity", that one would be just about right.
FadingEcho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aren't some organizations funded on the basis of being professionally offended? BLM, Antifa, sociology departments, etc...
And are there not safe space coordinators? And if there aren't, when you organize safe spaces, doesn't someone need to organize what coloring books and pictures of puppies the adults need to cope after hearing ideas different from theirs?
couchcowboy ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 10:40:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
They said based on modern professions. None of the things you lister qualify.
Dradien ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 04:50:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For as much as people bitching about the above types of people, you sure seem offended and triggered about it.
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 19:33:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a Chelsea fan, I'm kind of cheating here, but:
Drinkwater. The only answer is Drinkwater. Everyone drinks water
Pseudonymico ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:42:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doesn't Drinkwater imply an ancestor with diabetes, since they used to drink a lot of water?
Birch2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know someone with that last name. I think she's Native American.
Smearypatch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:21:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Babysitterman
GitEmSteveDave ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:24:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LiberalArts
kish22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But this is about people with jobs!
micadora ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:40:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hikkokimori
freeloader
wallmartgreeter
telemarketer
Streamer
phisher
catfish
gamer
moderator
admin
Swedish-Butt-Whistle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:43:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weeaboo
spinfrost ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 20:59:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Obesemen
just_the_mann ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:05:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well Taylor and Fisher would still be applicable. Some more:
Physcologisttson Baristaman Janitorrison T. V. Anchorman Librarian O'Construction O'Cubiclemon
SH1591 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:55:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baristaman sounds like a shit superhero
Mr_Redcap ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:39:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bailiff, dentist, cubicle-drone, professional hentai wanker.
scratch that last one
ShinyPaws ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:41:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker
Mikeman124 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:21:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
coolplate ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 00:25:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt.... aren't we all just saying bad words? Is that how you play the game?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:44:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl. Camila Camgirl.
Youtuber. Yu Youtuber.
Webmaster. Peter Webmaster.
Ring girl. Bell Ring Girl.
trro16p ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:47:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are forgetting the ever popular 'DROP TABLE Students;'
Relevant XKCD
edit - forgot student part.
misterbungle1975 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 21:49:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Peeniewally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herr Fluffer.
FordyceFoxtrot ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:04:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chance (the) Rapper?
[deleted] ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:31:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cam-whore.
bilaalh20 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:40:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about steinstein for jewish bankers?
Jha420 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 22:44:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
dickinson for catholic priests
BEHRINGERRR ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:34:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Unemployment John YouTubeFaggot Carl Socialmediamanager David Drugdealer Sally Richdad Tom Blowjob
take_it_to_the_mo ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:34:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Burgerman
Michael McFryer
Wally Greeter
Seymour Spammer
Billy Bouncer
Russ Colluder
Susan Sampler
Mandy Shroomer
Sammy Sniper
Gary Giffer
Stanley Stoner
Richard Buttler suddenly gets a new meaning.
Mikerochip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clearly it's Seymour Butts!
toxidoodle ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:31:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be Amy Analyticalchemist and that is cool because my surname would start with anal and end in mist.
ardnamurch ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 06:00:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mist in German means manure. Anal manure. Interesting name indeed.
toxidoodle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:28:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Haha! I guess Germans would not like drinking Sierra Mist then.
ardnamurch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:18:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would sound weird. But maybe they would drink it. Just for it's weird name.
Redman2009 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber, Streamer, Nerd, Aspbergers
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:20:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McBurgerflipper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pokemonman
PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A doctor with the last name Butcher.
Conversely, a janitor with the last name InternetBillionaire
Osimadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:56:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Dr. Itor, Jan Itor
ruok4a69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Or a billionaire with the last name Cuban.
AnarkeIncarnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:45:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker, Chav, Queueson
IronFox1288 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
Euchre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:48:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfarer
Conman
Repossesser
paul-arized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So Banker?
Kyzzori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:03:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Jonathon Letsplayer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:11:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arthur "scritch-scratch" Author.
KM4WDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:13:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Athlete, dealer
NotJimmy97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:19:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Sam Sports-Handicapper
RussellChomp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:22:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Handcock.
curious_iguana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:30:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Pointlessseo
Korgoth420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:35:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Longtyper
Codemaker
mechengguy1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:36:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Monat. Mr. FitTea
FuckTheModerators999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Regionalmanagerson
bayareahockey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:38:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couchcaster.
AfterReview ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:41:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver
Cook
Farmer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:47:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Shitshovlur.
spauldeagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Manager
PickleFlaps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:52:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stuart Telephone-Sanitiser
chelseahillbill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:53:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Microbiological technician (my old job) would be quite a mouthful.
canIstilltrustthenet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:57:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Communitymanager, but you can call me Mr. CM.
Atakeawayshow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rajesh Techsupport
Bowtie327 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:58:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Sandwich Artist
zaffhome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:01:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facebooker
Sell200AprilAt142 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codesmith
Ben10com05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yutoobair
hank_burgle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:02:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Industrialist.
ItsMeTK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:03:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instamodel.
"Hey y'all! It's me, your gurl kaiyleeeigh Instamodel!"
librlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the porn industry, we have the Fluffer-Nutter family.
ceruleus0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:07:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Shitposter
Ciboney2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker.
DowncastAcorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:08:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an insurance adjuster.
I work with a man named Richard.
The possibilities are e n d l e s s
ls_2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:09:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peoples last names also used to be their dads first name with "son" at the end, I'm sure "Mohammedson" would be a very popular name.
seattt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mowson
Omegle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Fluffer, can i go to the toilat?
UNPER50N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:10:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. WhoreFucker, Mr. BingeEater is here to see you."
Gentle_Wrench ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wage Slave
Azarat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:11:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
Bayinla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:12:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Programmers
garbageboob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:14:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's Septic Tank Cleaner. James Septic Tank Cleaner.
vielavida ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:19:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:20:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer, Streamer, Vlogger, Something to do with Vaping...๐
birdsdontfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Broke college student
supagirl277 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slutman
JayJ9Nine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:21:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lecture maybe?
Ethman_C-137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:22:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtubeson
Flick1981 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:23:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Software Developer would be a mouthful.
librlman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas Sheister, J.D.
Mitch "Match" Arsonson
Connie Streetwalker
Barry Yoga
Melanie Skinflicker
TheHatedMilkMachine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:24:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troller
Some_Weeaboo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:26:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed.
50-50ChanceImSerious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Letsplai
gangsta_baby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Jora Databaseengineerson
PM_ME_CUPS_OF_TEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:27:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr fourchan.
Siiw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Siiw Florist doesn't sound bad at all.
TROLLIGUMMYSCHLONG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:29:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mr. blowjob
dr. pimp
detective. instagramer
madame. facebook
AngryManSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker or Driver
-drunk_russian- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:31:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker is an actual surname, now that I think about it.
Tchrspest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:32:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mailman
Fireman
Literally anything with the *man name scheme.
CharlieSixPence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sanction
synfin80 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:34:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Infosec
RedBombX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:35:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
dreweatall ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:37:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Multi-Level-Marketing-Scam
Mrs Recruitment Consultant
Mr Callcentre
Miss ZeroHoursContract
Mrs Deliveroo
Mr Not-Quite-Sure-What-You-Actually-Do-Middle-Management
xxviicats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:38:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT guy
jafbm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
poopsicle88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jess Social media whore
The_sad_zebra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:40:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Cabbie
Pilot
Waiter
Nurse
pootarded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:42:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Unemployed
nothing_in_my_mind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:43:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dota2mmrbooster
tanis_ivy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Gyno Coligist
_J_G_M_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:45:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
deadcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:46:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrummaster
kbuckm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:50:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger/Blogger
Jaymondy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:52:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Michael Photoshop.
the_real_m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Systems Analyst
pebble255 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Handcock
Mary Dickinson
arinthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cashier
thebrasspig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spaceman
dj_dnat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:53:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. President
Genetic_outlier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver would definitely be the most common American name at least. Then maybe Server or Waiter.
san_serifs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
Freelancer
Blogger
manhead16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retailer
senorchaos718 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, what the heck does a Jones do then?
jjmoreta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Early adopters of bleeding edge technology.
Everyone else just tries to keep up with them...
Osimadius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clark/Clarke/de clerk continues going strong
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know, Mr. Pro-Gamer would be pretty cool
BokenUnbroken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cubejockey
crappy_ninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier
Thaumarch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:58:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As a side note, a lot of Indian people have English-language occupational surnames not found elsewhere: Captain, Contractor, Engineer, Doctor, Driver, Master, Merchant, Printer, Readymoney, Reporter, and the wonderful Screwvala, which means something like bottle-opener. These names are especially common among Parsi Zoroastrians.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ultra Xtreme Super BMX World Champion. It would be great in rollcall. Ultraxtremesuperbmxworldchampion, Michael
bowlingforchili ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor professersson
NoOneImportant333 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:00:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Direct Marketing
juniper-tree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marisa Teacher.
dev_c0t0d0s0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:01:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You are asking the wrong question here. The real question is, what did John Hancock do to get his name?
mrtadaosherpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Gamer and Jane Streamer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:02:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Garbage collection. Trashman Or if you job was as a fluffer on porn sets....
brookz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Administrator
A_Sweatband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:03:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor Programmer-Tech-Support.
MassiveMoose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:05:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Pornstar
c0lin46and2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Mr Halfwatt
mr_magoosh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:08:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My boss, Mr. Tweeterburg is a total fucknutts.
Aladayle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boxpusher
DybayFlaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:09:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst.
Business analyst. Science abstract. Finance analyst. Bullshit analyst.
Oh wait we have political reporter for that last one.
EarthMas16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retaylor.
tatsuedoa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:11:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitcher, Utuber.
rhymes_with_chicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weedman
PanzerK0mmander ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Redditor
Cdan5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onwelfare, Mr Onwelfare
Slimelord_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:13:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Underwaterpoodiver
metyuadem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customerservice
pizza_cfed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salesman
YouDude60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:14:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yelperson.
hikerfag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter, clerk, drug dealer.
Miranda_Mandarin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:15:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer
NoidPrime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:16:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:17:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
jplevene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chav
Arsenic42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welder
Imakedo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:18:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Silverspoon
QSquared ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer
MrBoonio ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
De Skjockey.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:19:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Digital influencer
FUZxxl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kรผber
(for Germans, I'll let you figure this one out)
akalliss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:21:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dataentryclerklevel3
bagelzyumersz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
Jothal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:22:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dole. Joe Dole.
Usagii_YO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny YouTuber.
swifterral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Dankmemesspecialist
iwearyellowpants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:23:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman
StuckOnTheWallAgain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:24:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Animal Masturbator
tehftw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Guitarplayer would most likely have many kids with official surname "Programmerson".
StrikerTitan01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber, dare I say Coder?
Pierre_Alex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:25:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Banker sounds decent
PenultimateSprout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Tester. I bet they'd have an interesting marriage.
emerald6_Shiitake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:26:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scientist, Politician, Firefighter, Designer, Businessperson, Teacher, etc
Or better yet, Walmart Associate
I_want_my_honor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spaceman. Pronounced Spuh-Che-Min
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
XanderVaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:29:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spinner
Skyload ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed.
feralbobcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:30:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh Dentistsbitch was my maiden name, please call me Mrs. Softwaregoogler
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advisor. Emily and Robert Advisor
Jaikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:31:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techmonger. IT Engineer.
Obliviosso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:32:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Actor/Director/but also like a server, but only sometimes/artist/INstagram model/post mates driver
robindah00d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giffer. Don't ask me how you pronounce it.
toothshucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Wallace Youtuber
toothshucker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Toothshucker
ItsPercyG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista. I think it has a nice ring to it.
servimes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:35:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benedict Coderson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:37:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Jizzmopper
BeanItHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:38:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr full time yummy mummy
strychnine213 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sandwich artist
Eff-Bee-Exx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Layabout
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jared ThatguyinIT
Relyt23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
KeyboardWarrior
Gamegeneral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think Dev would probably be a common surname.
Driver would probably be more popular, too.
fistofwrath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meth head
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tailor*
Kilo2319 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pennsylvania here. And we have a lot of RoadFlaggers and stop sign men/women
demosthenesjax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social Media Manager? Bob Hashtag? Susie SEO?
SuspiciousOfRobots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Socialmediaadvertising
SnaReCS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Doctor.
STUMPOFWAR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McStripper O'Cashier Drugdealerman Cityworkerson
Jordan_the_Hutt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vagabond
Arkham_Assassin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tbh, I didn't even know that's where English surnames came from.
hellosugars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:45:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver
daSilvaSurfa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista would be a very popular name.
Aeliascent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basketballplayer
analest-analyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karmahoor
c-fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:46:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornographer.
BoyceKRP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a lot of phone sales position out there, or internet provider salespersons. People representing bad deals, and poor packages.
Johny Rippoff
Tbonedabeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
khizza15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In Australia a female cashier is known as a 'checkout chick'.
I'd be Ms Checkout Chick.
Infiltrator41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Keytapper
John Mouseclicker
Adam Shelfstocker
Richard Calltaker
Zap813 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Names that are not actual professions.
SpodermanFreedom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor.
Dr. Professor
Leverquin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
john dickhead?
scientistzero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dan Coder
VonIsengard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:48:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would be Trainer. That's pretty cool, actually.
TheCrakp0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Seniorsoftwareengineer
Am I doing this right?
cjmook21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:49:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chickensexer
jaygee101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonnie Dickinson
paul-arized ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No Rapper?
giverofnofucks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adultentertainer
hrakkari ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Twitter
Harroel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
usernamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:50:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a girl whose last name is "Coder"
nu2allthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Public-Relations
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm a Mac!
Sneakybear13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/mrs yogainstructor
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ElectronicSpySnitch
Sie_Hassen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Wageslave
Sneakybear13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/mrs yogainstructor
Jtaimelafolie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Svend Contentcreator
usernamy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Football
lachrymoselake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jessica Attorney, that works. Mark Pediatrician, maybe not...
dysteleological ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizzmopper.
ajkkjjk52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:51:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadmin
warrior457 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hi, my name is john vlog, my dad is the one over there screaming into the camera.
A_Year_Of_Storms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:52:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sadclown.
Had this conversation one with a colleague who was a teacher. He said his last name, based on his profession, would be John Sadclown.
PowerWordCoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary Jane Eunace Camwhore
ThatDoubleTap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. State Benefits
JabTrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John SocialMediaInfluencer
Parintachin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
TheRealAdmiralPrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every Desi would have four last names:
Tech, Doctor, Engineer, Lawyer.
LucasBackwards ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:53:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something something Instagram model. Perhaps Mr. And Mrs AdPlacement
TheRumpletiltskin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timmy Fry-Cook, John Burgerflipper, Gerold Garbageman
And on the other side of the coin
Donald Inheritance, Megan Model, Jack Invester.
kjhwkejhkhdsfkjhsdkf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Children of Grips would probably be teased a lot in school.
And you'd have some clever parent naming their daughter Dolly.
Parintachin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gives a whole new meaning to "T.J. Hooker".
runningwaterss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Self-Employed
"Hi, this is Jonathan Self-Employed. I have a unique multi-level-marketing opportunity for you."
anotherbozo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev for developer
whaddiyatalkinabeet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh my initials are S.J.W."
HellTrain72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Programmer. Dave Coder.
candothat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:54:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech support.
munaught1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnnie Walmart
clintusmaximus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Triggered, opiated snowflake, indoctrinator, safespacer...
rhynoplaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:55:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Ryan Beerrep.
SofaKingCrizpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memesmith
Ongazord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jerker
Meghalomaniaac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
dude5935 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John YouTuber, Michelle Vinestar, Adam manager, Joey ad- man
Wh0rse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:56:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitcher.
pickaninnyjenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Pedo.
PositiveStephen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Getting promotions would be so hard. Imagine working a shitty job all cause of your no good dirty rotten pig stealing great great grandfather
ladder2thesun01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pixelfarmer
thesunscreen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Programmer.
Running4coffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Figget-Spinner sounds like a great name to me.
darkhorse21980 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:57:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper or Hooker might be popular in Vegas.
pickaninnyjenny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nick Neckbeard, Webmaster
PrcrsturbationNation ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:58:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor
MachineUSA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Gamer
icannotpickone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Youtuber
cdnpaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Officeslacker
hoobidabwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How sad for those people who lack offices!
Rob1150 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if you work at home?
cdnpaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Remoteworkerslacker
hoobidabwah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:10 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How sad for those that lack remote workers!
BreaksHetheon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:59:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
jordanlund ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Webmaster
andorand_too ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:00:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zac Frontenddeveloper Mark Investmentbanker Moonglow Barrista
Kezly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jessica Instagrammer, Kylo Y'Tuber, Tyrion Blogger
StuDarkJedi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sally Streamer
doctordaedalus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier (pronounced Cashir).
thech4irman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Mrs Barista
Also Mr 'have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault'
Ninja_Guin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Yummy-Mummy
Ms Heathcareassistant
Sliver007USA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Therapist could be taken horribly wrong.
MWB96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:01:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and mrs pizza deliverer
Narwhals64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slaveowner.
jrm2003 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone's last name would be engineer.
Everyone calls themselves a fucking engineer.
stefvh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stocktrader
VIPDX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be fish monger.
ackzilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kylo Fluffer
KLance23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:02:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeington
dontwashme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jobseeker
lamabaronvonawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
greeter, server, barista
MystikDruidess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer, Blogger, Vlogger, Tuber, Streamer, Catfish, Feminazi, Aborter, Tech, etc
PyrZern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Polypusher.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Focker
SwagVonYolo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:04:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yall heard of that tv show "Keeping up with the fucksrappers"?
bPhrea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Studio-Bitch.
MobileThrowawayAcc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"fluffer"
LynxNanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultant
mw_eugimon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Streamer
mcguinin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:05:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Fapper
Grounded5am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs could be 'Joe Blogs'
RemyATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SocialMedia-Intern
Lump182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Benefit-Cheques
CasualCha0s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed. Spelled "Twitchstreamer".
SultanofThings ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skywalker, I've seen people do it!!! It's a job!!!
unionjunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Blogger"
MY_NAME_IS_NOT_RALPH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tyler Barista
goinunder0390 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista would be SUPER common
RemyATX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:06:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Marketing-Consultant
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey how's it going, I'm Daniel DramaAlert
mynamesalwaystaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allison Fakespoorontheexitramp
Victoriard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Rob SocialMediaInfluencer.
Just_For_Da_Lulz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumdumpster.
bkwarbu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ashley PyramidScheme. Flooding news feeds with over priced shit since 2010!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I really want to go to the Camgirl and Gayforpay wedding.
occamschevyblazer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eliot McSocialmediamanager
Diezed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Gamer Tony Lawyer Joan Barister Sally Surgeon Lacy Lanscaper Isabel Teresa Technician Sam Homeless
Diezed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Gamer Tony Lawyer Joan Barister Sally Surgeon Lacy Lanscaper Isabel Teresa Technician Sam Homeless
Smabacon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
RafeHaab ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:08:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elizabeth Loanshark
Johnny Candyman
Tyler Newspaperboy
Toadstool475 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Philip J. Delivery Boy
elkab0ng ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob McITmanager, at your service.
Ultimatenarutolover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weekend assistant trailer park supervisor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liberalartez
KeaPatera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Concierge. Sigh
prahanoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, the name's Sandwich Artist, Dave Sandwich Artist.
SpaceEurope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maximillian Webinar
J2Mags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:09:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Esportpro
bradioactive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker.
Fafaflunkie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Contracted
cathline ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sitter, seatwarmer, slugbutt. Desk jockey, code monkey - hello I'm John codemonkey. This is my girlfriend, Jane deskjockey
explodingbarrels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
Enklave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multilevelmarketson
ChaoticLogix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Percy Computerperson
digitalmofo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memerson.
Welderson.
what_what_17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:10:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nurse!
craftsparrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sudo
wolfen66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Engineer
Bylahgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The most successful profession in my area is begging for money by the side of the road. So i guess Beggar
Maximus125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Computerperson
3e486050b7c75b0a2275 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Googler
Coder
Programmer
Anchor
Admin
Terrorist
Jihadi
Salesman
Uberdriver
lyftdriver
B2blackhawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk, Tuber (For youtubers), Artist... I'm thinking the internet is a big thing here.
housebrickstocking ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Arnold Jizzmopman.
kotlofthemoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Beancounter"
ColdStoryBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Barista
halo_13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Spankmaster. You have to be good at something I guess.
PopeJohnsonAgain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles Accountant, the 3rd.
talmorus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moon.
gotbrwnrice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debt. John Debt. Martha Debt. Hopeless Debt.
5kybird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chavvus
chocolatencheez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:12:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Have you met Jeffery Head of Accounts Receivable Northeast Region?
I haven't! Is he by any chance of the Rhode Island Head of Accounts Receivable Northeast Regions?
Yes. Good stock.
VodkaSkull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John McDonaldโข
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker
TrafalgarBob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Vapeshop
haywire12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr. Server and I'll be your server today!
PsychoWyrm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I operate a wastewater treatment plant. What the hell would my name be?
Watercleaner? Cleanwater? Wasteman sounds like a trash collection guy.
I got a feeling this is gonna be hard for niche blue collar technical jobs.
EnderGrimm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary Stripper, Bob Benefits, Ronnie Retail
0rinath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"This is Joe Barista, and his wife Janine CSR. She kept her last name in the marriage."
CS01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:13:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trainer Programmer Mover Painter Hacker Tester Designer Developer Engineer Technician Agent Underwriter Plumber Producer Waiter
S_Wood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Wood
iamtheztm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aloysius Memelord.
tallaghtmick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry Cricketman.
Bill Rugby.
Andy f Hooligan.
Betty Benefits.
OmniawesomeMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Softwarengineer
Spiwolf7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger/Vlogger.
Worduptothebirdup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For the past few months: "Former White House ...."
The ellipse being positions at the executive branch that the person was subsequently fired in, or quit after being exposed for ties to Russia.
Pakattack06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Johnson & Johnson
ScotnCan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT
BALDACH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Hacker here, at your service.
xcalibur3152 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Hacker
ronkyronx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer, Streamer, Tuber, Slacker
giraffecause ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Willie Webdev.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be sir asswipe. I make toilet paper.
TakeOnMe-TakeOnMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
Celebutante
"Sandwich Artist"
Barista
Wannabkate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Barista, Ms. coffier.
mewlingquimlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Fluffer
PastorPuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, Welder, Doctor, Mechanic.
R6stuckinsd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yeah, and 200 years from now hipsters will be using these as first names for their kids. (Hunter, Cooper, Tanner, Chandler, Mason, Harper, Parker, Taylor... )
Satankush420666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, the house on the left? That's owned by the camgirl family. It used to be owned by the methcooks but they moved when the father was arrested for drugs."
Ohmally34 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:16:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mcslave
iNS0MNiA_uK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson.
theSchmoozer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Salesman
chryseos-geckota ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
ends_abruptl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samuel L. Motherfucker.
ODoodle91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald
aricberg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
apex18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worker's Comp
Talon2004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Opsupe ( operations supervisor)
intentsman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore
Dentist
WebDesigner
Server
Attendant
Teacher
Manager
Supervisor
Analyst
Housekeeper
Lawnguy
ThatGuyMike142 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holly Camgurl
CTeam19 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:17:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Van De Staat or in English "Of the State" or "From the State" for a government employee.
Or you could say Van De Regering which means "from the government"
crazywussian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Correctional Officer
opiusmaximus2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
CafeRoaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be Roaster.
Which I guess is cool. Can't imagine someone with the last name of Web Developer or Financial Analysy, though.
eddododo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thot
lostboyof1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Bob DevOps.
That's not so bad.....
McWaddle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:18:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Wannasupersizethat have arrived.
FuckBigots5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter, server, delivery driver, Associate.
DrakeAU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johny Jiz-booth cleaner.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/5o9d2c/iama_janitor_at_an_adult_store_i_clean_bodily/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Had a friend who referred to his daughters boyfriend as free meal. He would never see the guy unless a free meal was involved, so he would just cut to the chase and say free meal when he wanted to invite him or ask him to help with something.
SirSwede ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer, Hacker, Tweet, Facebooker, Grammer, Webber, Stream, Tuber, Tesla, Contact-Lesser, Hustler, Googler
TheFire_Eagle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hank Associate
So many places replaced the term clerk or cashier with associate it would be a fairly common name.
OhFFSSeriously ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitcoin
JimHadar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Onandofferman
PopChipsLover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:19:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Tester, Luke Carpenter
mehmetalianil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bitbanger https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bit_banging
AllergictoCake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jordan Stem. Larry Scammer. Jackie Engineer. Jane Pornstar.
hur-yerr-derrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suzie masseusewhosometimesgiveshandjobs
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:20:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Applator - Application Administrator
Irettal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walton
andrewthemexican ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Other than a generic tech one, could there be one for IPT related tech?
Network admin could be Networker, Netter, or Net.
What I do is more phone user admin/triage, voice gateways, servers, etc.
Voicer, Voiper, Phoner/Foner?
captainforeverr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Making A Living From My Home, Or just Mr Pyramid Scheme
BlackStrike7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I suspect the surnames "Fapper", "Rageinducer", and "Tryhard" might be up there...
cr1swell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Streamer, Brent Editor, Sarah Trainer, Carl Crook, Matt Reseller, Jose Lawnmower.
MnkyBzns ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ponzi
Buttfukkmagooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Milfington
Dansinnervoice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr SysAdmin
Starcop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffery Telemarketer
karransingh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlotte make up artist
DudeRobert125 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Clerk, Server, Coder, Streamer.
It's difficult to think of one's that don't end in "er".
AnxiousAriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:21:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ariel Stocker. Or... Ariel Stalker?
knutnaerum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Appdeveloper, Clarke Social Media Coordinator, Linda Instagramfame.
Chinapig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Advisor has a lovely ring to it.
mrglass8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
W0lfp4k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Therapist.
PhoenixRising625 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer, Teacher, Librarian, Celebrity, Pop star, Cartoonist
DaVinciNinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Builder
Jwillis-8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm surprised nobody said "Streamer" yet.
MURPHtheSURF ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:23:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
donkboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basemenson, Gaymor, Maumysboi, Triggerton
ShaneGlatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me John, John Poorman. My brother is Bill Unemployed
Jacorvin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And their cousin Al D Benefits.
Luke_myLord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DJ Mark Diskjokee
Streamer Mark Streammington
BoredsohereIam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officer Officer we have a complaint from Miss. Retired about Mrs. Welfare again.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Facebooker Photographer
danirat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a writer and yet I can't think of more than Pensmith?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:24:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom. Imagine that!
suddenlystevie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber ICTConsultant Checkoutchick
snugglypatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Casey Vlogger, Josh Viner, Kelly Gramstar, Dustin Dev, Wendy Welfare.
TheRealZainKhan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bethany "Totally real and accurate psychic. If it doesn't work then that's your problem"
lolagin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harris T. Pornwatcher
heatherb22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram model
dr___seusss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Neutron Physicist
science_i_am ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Bill Science
MyLittleDashie7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Techsupport
jobuedahgo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:25:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Kuromeru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker
c8isameme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Actuary
ruok4a69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jackman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathon Regional director of the assistant to the manager coordinator.
catchyphrase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cloud.
arod48 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Unviersalbasicincome
catfishdeity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multilevelmarketer
mjbelair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor
spookiester ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Failure
iampc93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Names Bob, Bob Philanderer
Colt45and2BigBags ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Hack
feetofire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker ...
disenchanted_youth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keystriker
Skootenbeeten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Choreboy ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 22:30:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mister Manager?
maxlgold25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Molly Percocet
localhost8100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawn mower?
Spazmanaut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:27:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John I'minmedia
acolyte_to_jippity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
easwaran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
An interesting group is the Parsis - they are Iranian Zoroastrians who moved to India at some point after Islam became established as the main religion in Iran. The Parsis didn't take last names until some time relatively recently, and they did so at a time when English was the dominant official language in Mumbai, so a lot of them have last names like Doctor, Engineer, Contractor, Readymoney, and Merchant (as in Ismail Merchant, behind Merchant Ivory pictures, which produced The English Patient).
https://zoroastrians.net/2008/02/23/parsi-irani-surnames/
I can't tell how much this next list is real, but a bit of googling suggests that there are in fact some Parsis out there named "Sodawaterbottleopenerwalla":
https://zoroastrians.net/2010/01/17/parsi-surnames-2/
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizz Mopper
colinf299 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sports commentary would be confusing as fuck
TheLoneBrit101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's easy. ~Hackerman~
sebastianwillows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Youtuberitsarealjobmom
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:28:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeremy Compeng
1ronfastnative ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme
UltravioIence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sign-spinner
thereaIbong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"My daddy was a fluffer, his daddy was a fluffer, and his great grand pappy was also a fluffer. Softest fingers in tinseltown they called him."
SkyWulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ten Hour Fidget-Spinning
Chummers5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny IT.
Nanookthebear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Johnsoncutter
unplugged89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
/u/gallowboob.
Mr. Redditer.
johnnydeepdickin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Deepdicken
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Broker. Which is interesting because they usually aren't broke.
drawkward- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steven junkieson
daveroo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Max Prostitute
jordanjowestad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:29:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Assassin. All gigs are ruined once he went professional and got the name
the_quassitworsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Viner
cyclops1007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaymer
Choreboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Barista
whalesalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samantha Fitteabottom
Derpybro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Parentliver.
michael_kessell2018 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper
Louiethefly12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my Names Guy ITGuy, I think it has a nice ring to it :)
Levitus01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liar.
Beezer35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Billy Welfare
Beezer35 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Billy!! I'm Ronnie Racist!
Estrisk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Barista Michelle Waiter Mario Uber
dobik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gifson
Gnuhouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe a little dated, but Mr Jizzmopper is, um, descriptive
tdoger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Laptoprepairman
Jake Janitor
Martha Maidsman
Hannah Hooker
Frank Footballcoachman
Any others?
l_Dont_Get_Sarcasm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dolescum.
knivesmissingno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitterfingers
dobik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consoleson
adjectivity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadminson
DasMachine103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:32:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
Zacoftheaxes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Photographer.
meinmanhattan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aggregator
InLoveWithABastard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My dentist was Dr. Smiley.
ApprovedOpinions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Pitzmacher for pizza maker.
401_native ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Cum-Cleaner
Coast_watcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Betatester
Gurencia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Operator. Jordan Operator.
Argodruid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does Gene Hackman have a son that's into IT network security?
bluerang1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencerson
RedHood13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:33:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Lawman
Thatoneguy567576 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Burgerflipper
elgallogrande ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yourserver
FeverAyeAye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Growth Hacker
winguardianleveyosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Mrs. Youtuber
and their son called "Itz Ya Boi"
dwlittle75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll. Dustin Troll
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe smoker
Tiny_Danser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indebt. Outofluck. Impotent.
ricobirch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Cubilcedrone
thecoffee-pot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Gig
winzippy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Sir Reginald Lurkington.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Blogger, Bloggerman, Vlogg, (Insta)Gramm, Twit, Twitterman, Code, idk some more about online famous people.
JamJarre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:34:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Transpondster. Steve Transpondster
Something-i-dunno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Pilot
ParanoidNobody ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There was a book that used a company's name as your last name. Jennifer Government. Good book.
AbhorrentNature ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Patent-Troll
Harry Gerrymander
Louis Private-Military-Contractor
NOCONTROL1678 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom
rblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:35:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizzmopper
echy_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burgerflipper
UnexpectedMedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:36:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
JehovahsNutsack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
Lizzichka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spaceman. Pronounced SpahCHEMin.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
bill buttlicker
AuJaDe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Johnny Phlebotomy.
frinqe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Highskooler
datsmn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwayne coxman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Picker, picker of butts, noses, doughnuts, & guitars
silver00spike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
o__-___0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmerer.
miss-morland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber, probably
ApexTyrant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A public policy specialist.
"Mike Wonk"
Drutski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Admin
Number1452isnotahoax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter.
Akoola ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jamie Blogger
A_U_T_I_S_T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:38:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"John Councilworker" Hm, doesn't sound as good.
SomeRandomDude9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
TheRealSilverBlade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accountant, Animator, Director, Interior Design, Electrician.
cmfreeman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Mememaker
wampower99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mechanic, Plumber, Cubicle.
sickjuicy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaffer, Keygrip, Blockbuster, VCR-Repairman, and Typist
Saltpastillen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phoney McPhoner?
CiaranM87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a guy with the surname 'Snowball'. What's going on there, then?
jesanfafon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:39:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
tuttleonia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ferdinand Buschucker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Underling, Temp, Hipster (It doesn't pay anything, but it is some people's profession nonetheless). Waitstaff, Server, Bandmember, (or perhaps "Inaband") Coder, Manager, Pizzaman, Busker, Programmer, Barrista---I could do this all day.
perogieshappen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Second fluffer
NickyBComedy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophia Escort, Robert Reiki, Edward Flipper, Jeremy Broker.
Atoning_Unifex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hi, im jim ux
rayrayrayray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
Korrathelastavatar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr manager
Shadowguard182 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. DoctorProfessorPatrick
willhammy03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Failing YouTuber, Joe Starving Artist
explosivefish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
KitCM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lol, 'Hi, I'm Johnny Media Influencer'
Lazarix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor growthhacker
SeasickSykes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dosser.
T8ert0t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
WalGreeter
Part-time
A'chAr (HR)
rayrayrayray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:41:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SandwichArtist
XxIIU2IIxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am C Engineer
Volerikan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
wubanub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody Coderson
Borngrumpy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John minimumwage
Poopfilledtrashcan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John craftbeersman
Gildedsapphire7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Garbageman, prostitute, weed-seller. Also dildo-maker
Ballerinja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:42:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Memer
Glorious_Jo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Store-Associate has a nice ring to it.
But uh, I just want to take this moment to say that companies that give special names to their employees' titles can fuck right off. I am a sandwich bitch at best, I am definitely NOT a sandwich """""artist""""". Same goes for you, Home Depot, with your overly professional "Store-Associate". I was a Stocker, not an "associate" ok? I don't even want to associate with that store.
Peeniewally ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herr Dryer. We used to announce him all the time in the stadium back in Munich: Herr Dryer please call your herrdresser.
atDylan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker
Bushywood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Gamer, Bill Programmer
soursh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:43:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter, Clerk, Manager, Blogger
Longjohndick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John wageslave
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fluffer
Buttock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh boy, I'm Mr. Manager!
Commander_Canuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonny YouTuber
NicSac ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Biffy
JDEscu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello Mr. Memer".
citruscanned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rip Ed Truck
MarshallRavenHawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student/Pupil
throwawayja7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Fluffer.
RuedRepose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Bob Burger, owner of Bob's Burger. Can I take your order?
mundotaku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom?
UnfrozenBerry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be Daniel Von Layabout
aresef ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Q. Buttdialer
Jerm351 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Dicks...
Tekitekidan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder?
DumpoTheClown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keypounder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
TheGrandLemonTech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Mallcop
Rootkit9208 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Linesman actually sounds pretty realistic, and can apply to factory workers and actual linemen.
CommunistGrandson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blower
Marc815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Production associateโฆ.
jervis02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hancock?
geebeem92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Mr.Fapper for sure
Steelplex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rep, for any cust. service/sales people
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom SpaghettiCode
kancolle_nigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor
mbelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John TheITGuy
jdeanmoriarty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:46:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheeseman.
grau0wl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The name's Stan. Stan Fluvialgeomorphologist."
flakula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Socialmediaguru
beyatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Fokdik.
metastasis_d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Jizzmopper. Welcome to the gala.
Pieinyoureyez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John sextoy maker
FamousOhioAppleHorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:47:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duck Lips-McSnapchat
FritzTrockels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
readdit_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Mr. Memelord.
m126 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Michael Electromechanical-Technician, and yours...
spartank4x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech
Djswagmaster420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Influencer, Sarah Youtuber, Charlie Vlogger
...ugh.
Dafecko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stocker for anyone working on retail.
Depigr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memes
NanjoQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Steve Escort, no no, I promise it's not what you think.
hurrdurrilikecake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffrey Associate
jvj2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The names Hue Tuber, I'm a pretty big deal online
VonsFavoriteChicken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst? That might be a weird one.
jonasnee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
union
writer
breaker
ThomasMaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Diemaker, Toolmaker, Vegan, Vegetarian, Palletloader, Laborant, Genetic, Holistic, Anodizer, Welder, Sysop, Admin, Outsource, Electric, Sushi. All are suitable as surnames.
mochasweetbaby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Armando Casas, Armando Calle. Building houses, Building Streets
jeffmooo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bad luck for anyone who is a therapist.
lukasz0807 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hoeski
scandalousmambo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debtfucker
7eregrine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Appmaker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ollie Stockbroker and Henry Financialtrader would be the most unbearable cunts
Rauma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Penetrationtester
IQZvEuK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:49:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Sales Associate.
Oldschoolnoob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Dotcom, Mike Spaceshuttlelaunchphotographer, John Unemployed, Jack Corprateladderclimber, Chris Trustfundee
Sharon Frontenddeveloper, Michelle Exotic-Danse, Monica Welfare-Childsupport, Kelly Partyplanner, Sarah Realestateagent
trontonian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Brooke Pornstar. Oh hello, Ms. Pornstar, I'm Mr. President, could you do me a small favour?
WaveElixir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jakepaulers
Not_A_PedophiIe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
SHARK_LE_BLEU ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cammer, or if indigenous ancestry, Bareskin
luvkit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager!
How has this not yet been posted?!
Sardonnicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber.
Eric Youtuber at your service m'lady.
Tokestra420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
dammit_kitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emer Grafikdiziener.
I'm a Graphic Designer.
rudygj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Porn Star.
Kavik_Ryx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder or Codesmith, Server, Circuiter, Lawman, Truckman, Bloggington
DorisCrockford ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nobody would ask you what you do after they'd been introduced to you, because they'd already know.
GhostofCascadia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Recipient
Bman409 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marketer
SH1591 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:50:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr sendnudes
bobvex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger, David blogger
Winkleberry1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Dev
BananaManV5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles pedofile
Tigerwulf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
MissNPBFAG ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Sean Draughtsman
phome83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Manager.
deadlytrex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:51:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That is Bill Officeer. His dad is the one that made those ergonomic keyboards.
godzillabobber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slacker
bahnmiagain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Mr. Rideschรคrer, this is my associate, Mr. Baristar.
boot20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, coder, salesman, supporter, executive
Synux ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mixologist
Frost_Ch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber. James YouTuber.
harrisonisdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, Miss LevelFiveConsultantFor[insert MLM]
hkrbydy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker Coder Programmer Digitalizer Effex
Lt_Doctor_Goober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably Doctor.
Jerry Doctor, Linda Doctor, Mariana Doctor, Dr. David Doctor.
KalicalVJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Porneditor
zerodecoole ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Socialmediastrategist
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wouldn't know. All I know is that my surname is Hunt and I'm shit with a bow and arrow. My wife, whose maiden name is Looker, is a fucking crack shot with a bow. I was pleasantly surprised.
FinallyGotReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy neckbeard redditor.
Murderlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techtips. Linus Techtips.
EerieEejit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Cathy Cashier
MrNikau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yep. Y'all did it all before I got here.
cannibalsanta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Can you imagine the size of the "Retail's" family reunions?
Kalypso_the_wicked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carlos Manuel Electro-Mechanical
suchanormaldude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:53:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
________ Marie Socialmediaaddict
-ArchCoder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Who're
frollium ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Akoh
piranhabait89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bator. Ohh man and if Your the owner of something/people you could have people call you "master".
kellis744 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yelper
CaptainDelicious1510 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had an ex who's last name would be slutbag.
Naughtypanda69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eric compuman
elZaphod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cokedealermon
TheShadlyin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Angie Neer.
TinyStarShadow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TinyStarShadow Hooker
Hahaha I'm a professional crocheter
all_the_spells ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Server, Stockton, Middman, Cog...
Lobos1988 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Offended.... Mrs. Easily Offended
CoSonfused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Married with Mrs Tumblr
rehGibboH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codewriter
analfishlover ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:55:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT
PsychoLunaticX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be Stocker lmao. Others would be cashier, bagger, driverthru, salesman
MastaRastaBlasta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald
pAnDa_sHuRiKeN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:56:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Big Baller
pavl0v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Johnny Socialmediamanager!
bestoflurk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Many names aren't based on profession. We might see some Chadsons and von Tokyos.
Qwixotik ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Adviserman /Adviserson Mr. Planner /Plannerson /Plannerman Mr. Broker /Brokerson /Brokerman Mr. Bank /son /man Mr. Stock Mr. Stockman Mr. Stockson
ang2897 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scammer
Buce-Nudo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retailer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MY NEPHEWS ALTER EGO IS GRAYSON TRASHTRUCK
darkfoxfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Professorson
Mausath ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar Dr. Pornstar Mr. Pornstar James Pornstar Pornstar Pornstar
myusermemeistaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husbands cook or chef mine...maid or maiden lmao..
Comms ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:57:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emily Telemarketer
SamTheDude16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I hope that one day "Memer" becomes a last name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Sexton.. my ancestors definitely fucked
SoulPatent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burger ๐
Taleya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jfc there's gonna be a lot of Helpdesk-Shitmonkeys
BBQspaghetti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Charlie Sandwichartist.
TheWastelandWizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danksmith, Scheisspost, and Flammenson
OfferChakon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Scrapingbydoingoddjobsandtryingtofocusonanythingbutyourdepressionandkillingyourselflol
Azathoth_Junior ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:58:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Brian Shitposter.
finfin92 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
jaime analbleacher
NSA_Chatbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brazzer
Pornaub
Xamster
cloverstack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Juicero.
You know, the folks who design really well-designed shit for startups that is actually quite useless
MrCheapskate_toyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a guy near me who used to sell RVs. I remember his commercials on TV. His name was Tom Raper. I wonder what his ancestors were known for...
BigAssWhipSpider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a candle workshop.
My last name could be Snipwicks
TailSpectrum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If Tinder is anything to go by it'd be Mr/Mrs Full-Time-Mad-Bastard
CG9789 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Youtuber
Shlampen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Jason Unemployed
Henry2k ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harry Cashier, Philip Doorman.
Chody__ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thot
Erik_2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
DirtPiranha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With instagram models being what they are now, maybe Igwhore, pronounced "Igore"?
aprilmarina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Networkguy. Eddie Networkguy
Glock18C ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CALL ME ROBERT RIFLEMAN
San_Sodds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
1,287,000,000 people would be called [BLANK] 'Student.
halfajob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Whip
Is that you Frank Underwood?
Scarecrow101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John android, sounds pretty cool actually
Goboland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Projectmanagerson
buneter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
hg624 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:00:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harvey Sandwich Artist
mulveyf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Datah Hackah
Three_hrs_later ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a guy where I work, he's in IT, last name Cipher. He seriously needs to get into cryptography.
lysergicfuneral ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
bliceroquququq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Codemonkey
fortalyst ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Driver, Digger, Counter, Cabler, Sparkie, Plumber
cortnymarie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wow, I'm Mr. Manager!
chadi7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officeman. Nick Officeman.
boombostic573 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:01:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger or something to that effect
Roscoe_P_Trolltrain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
CoSonfused ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lindsey bloghar, Khaytline camwhore, Jared sandwichartist
i_can_cook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech
Assorted-Interests ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant dolly grip on Jaws 3
speaktanglish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asstomouthson
Dacox10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henry youtuber
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeson
HelterSkelter- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:02:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber.
Dudesabitchbro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soyver (Server) Whatevermilitarybranch Mechnicson (mechanic) Gaimar (gamer) Adhoe (social media) Curedcancer Uberlyft Aeronauticson
Cleanstream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder has a good ring to it. Coder, Tester and Scrum.
snopuppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work in a pharmacy so... Snopuppy Pillman? Doser? Medguy? Drugman? Nintyninepercentofmyjobhelpsyoupooporpoopless?
Joonagi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker. As in T J Hooker.
panda388 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is Mr. Offanonagin. He'll be troubleshooting your computer problems today.
bighitman420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Ricky Sales.
OnyX824 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hodler doesn't sound so ridiculous. Bitchboy too.
Bshbrns_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane Pizzasignholder
joeyrz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Youtuber or Mr. Gamer
LeftieDu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psychoanalytical therapist... but that seems too long. Analrapist got a good sound to it.
Tobias Analrapist.
galenwolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Seachengineofficier... Actually that could just be a German surname.
alexnafnlaus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John and Hank Vlog
SeedsOfDoubt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:03:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baller. As in, Footballer or Baseballer or Basketballer.
Knibol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Netweaver. Cloudweaver. Emil Firewall. Shane Router. William Switch. Alexandra NAS. That's just off the top 9 my head for Network Profesionals.
Remix73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scriptkiddy
Noobiecake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
Skylord_Alex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord
obiwankevobi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. I'm James Retail Associate.
TrCCper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:04:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
The-Butcher-Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Handcock
Tissueboi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Hacker, Susan Streamer, Elisabeth Internet
It's a really good question: what is "2017"-ish (or New since 2000 or so) ?
davePlug ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Always tough about Dickinson
swordmagic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Tommy YouTuber
Please like and subscribe
muddyclunge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Standard nerd
SilverDarner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Fred Freelance, this is my wife Frieda Freelance and these are the little Freelances...
IAmSchwasted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:05:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess my last name would be Alcoholic
dracomatic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Victor vlogger, William stock, Michael program
tonycomputerguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tony Computerguy?
stevebobeeve ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Steven Part-Timeretailshitshow Part-Timefunetalhomecontractor.
It's going to be a pain in the ass writing that out everyday
yes_thats_right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Streamer.
expandingexperiences ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane Camgirl
phforNZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, there is a Max Fightmaster in the US armed forces.
I_cannot_poofread ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Freelancer sounds nice
Delraymisfit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rapist
The-White-Dot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny "Bigrig" Hendrix is in the UFC
540Cameron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:06:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker
huskies4life ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pilot
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Sykres ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, Editor, Executive, Barista, Mechanic, Constructionworker, Salesrepresentative, Electrician, Cashier, Banker (this one might already be real?)
Toilet_blaster_5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
HandlebarHipster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
As someone else said "Driver" would be very common. But outside of that...
Clerk, Actor, Gamer, Sever, Barraista, Redditor
Here is an example of how I imagine future conversations going
"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Barraista. I'm Mr. Clerk, I'll be helping you with your bank loan today."
"Thank you, were very excited."
"I see you have a Mr. Server listed as a reference."
"Yes we worked together in college."
"And you listed a Mr. Redditor as well. How do you two know each other?"
"Well he was a friend of my father's. He, uhh, makes a crap load of dank memes and shit posts all day."
"I see. So he's an academic. Very good. Well your application seems to be in order. I just need to check with my supervisors; Ms. Fucksyouover and Mr. Comesfrommoney, and we should be able to get you saddled with crippling debt."
"Thank you! I'm looking forward to owning a home for a few years before you foreclose on me."
Jahistheway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rapper or Producer
CleanBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sysadmin
McJigglets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Supervisor, Processor, Coordinator, Manager
iamwhoiamamiwhoami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:07:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Livwitherparents
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Webber
JellybeanEyes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My maiden name would be "Miss Designer" but my married name would have to be "Mrs Humancapitalmanagement"
SpunkiMonki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reality Winner
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assman
savvyxxl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITguy
Taurus65 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ima Bludger
whoiscraig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name would be Craig Unemployed :(
Culvey60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timmy Taxtaker
Willy Welfare
Ronald Mcdonald.
ScratchButter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger.
Smched ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Appdev
Usernamethx9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nerdly
callernumber03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:08:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm Cathy Letsplay!
BigPoppa3421 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Lyanna_Lemoncakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bureaucrat. You decide whether or not you pronounce it with a pretentious fake French accent.
Robododo13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter, Teach, Cook, etc.
Itsnotmeorisit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Googler
holdyerplums ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
Iznogaud ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cook. Cookson. Cooksdatter. Friecook. "There goes that Amelia Friecook."
Pornsmith, Pornsurfer, Pornstar. "Jacob Pornsmith, of the Schenectady Pornsmiths?!"
ContentEnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Sandwichartist
Klael ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitch partners / streaming in general (both illicit and the gaming focused) are both excellent ways to make a living if you can acquire a following nowadays. So probably something like Mr. ReckfulsBaldSpot
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ronald Spammer
Jackadullboy99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tracker.
HuskyPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GallowBoober
Sprickels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy YouTuber
notmycity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chandler Bing searcher
Crispy_socks241 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my name would be John Crossdresser.
Haikubo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Tom Vlogger. Nice to meet you.
SoDakZak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
terrible Mexican accent
"My name Gif"
DontJealousMe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Welfare ?
WarrenPuff_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Masterbator.
Fishing lures. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Thethirdtoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse youtubesensation
Upferret ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss merchandiser.
OhLikeComing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick sexton the pornstar
Rvalldrgg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porner
Spacefrog999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minecrafter
loveisdead9582 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitute. Burnout. Felon. Crackwhore. Trust fund-baby
CirkuitBreaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Coder" would be a really common one.
geetee287 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:11:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dantist (dentist)
xfretz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher
NovaStar93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aviation: Pilotson, Planer, Flier/Flyer, Jetson Law: Lawyer, Lawman, Jailer, Warden Army: Gunman, Sniper, Soldier Navy: Sailor, Seaman Service: Valet, Server, Teller, Tender Education: Pedagogue, Lecturer Film: Actor, Roleman, Vidman, Setter, Filmer, Stuntman Athletics: Player, Trainer, Batter, Baller, Kicker, Archer, Runner, Curler, Boarder, Surfer, Skier, Skater, Gymson, Boxer, Coach, etc. General: Staff, Worker, Jobson
I'm surprised at how natural some of these would sound. Then again, so do the surnames derived from "old" vocations.
sysadmin001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bae trollz
Roadslush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert'); DROP TABLE students; --
itsjustchad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech, It, Programmer, Asshole
xavyre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wonk, Talking Head, Expert
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cyberslave
ilikebutsecs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram model
jWalkguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be John Cableman
weezermc78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hackerman
kevie3drinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
YoMammaSoThin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Influencer" is the worst one I can think of.
SuzQP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Joe Cook. Joe Linecook. Jeez, people never remember my full name.
LarsLack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel MechEngineer
RockandMoreTea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
u/bitchisweartogod
youlooklikeamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:13:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Scrumaster
abomlols ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord, Streamer, Cuck, Cableman, Follower, Couch, Fapper, Manchild, Rideshare to name a few.
YoMammaSoThin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare-Recipient.
mrbananas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many hours will you be working Mr. Part
Thank you for interviewing with us Mr. Welfare, we will let you known if we have any openings.
cherrybounce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
GREAT question!
youlooklikeamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Pornhoster
jobbbbinandjabbim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fred Pornwatcher
arin-orrison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every blonde girl in my state would be nurse
youlooklikeamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gayle Greeter
siderinc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:14:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Captain_Stairs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gigerson.
haemaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This still happens with Zoroastrians in India. I met Mr. Contractor once.
Damasticator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Watch out for that Gamer clan.
7V3N ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer.
youlooklikeamonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fabio Frycook
hatetank91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Brian Fluffer Mary Fluffer
lancea_longini ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Kevin Bell Fryguy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name's Charles Pornstar
heavymetal2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/Mrs IT. Information technology.
iamwhoiamamiwhoami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Rentboy
Razzmatazz123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Rich would still be valid
calvinburkhead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr. Manager!
LawlessCoffeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:15:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In a small town, Mr Banker runs the bank, Mr Butcher runs the butchers shop, and Mr Dickinson is wanted by the authorities.
jazzband ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
Mista117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl and Fluffer
LordTerrence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Cableguy
JimZimbabwe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Worldwide
ProtoMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst. Technician. Or maybe even Operative.
LordTerrence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder would be a cool one.
Michael_the_Ent ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cannabisreviewer. Michael the Ent Cannabisreviewer.
ItsJustGizmo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a tattoo artist.. so....
TheRtHonLaqueesha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper, Streamer, Troller.
nowayguy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:16:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter PT, with a PhD in TP
TheJocktopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you Sandra Orthodontist's Assistant, my name is Anthony Nuclear-Physicist.
jbDroidist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Asbo
os7a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hustler
Joonicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr A. R. Cripple, R for retard.
Seattlehepcat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Jizzmopper
concisekinetics ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Dickinson stays pretty interesting
Imthatjohnnie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sara McFry, Fred Wopperflopper, Kim Nightstocker and Sue Sexworker.
Sloop_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Sandwich-Artist
KosJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:17:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker, the oldest profession has a great last name.
mkultra50000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computerer
sunny_monday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Goodbot.
-0_-0-_0- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. I'm Mr. Twitchstreamer!
glickipedia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
WillowPort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Professionalme_irlupvoter.
Uh no thanks.
Jblack2236 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Vloggerman Billy Appdesignerman Sally ITerson
eternalemo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waitson or Waites (waiter)
sorryt_t ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker.
SuccMiDri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:18:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John MemePageAdmin
Just_Jo3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan RedditLord.
woodsbre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socialette (play on words of socialite)
EnderShot355 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Stripper
dildoscwagginz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sexdungeoneer would be pretty interesting
jamers2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pattyflipper
mrdan1969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Will-Work-for-Food
OGFahker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paulie Pornhub
iguessthisismine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Faye Facebookerman Adam Adwordington Chanandler Bing
aolle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess Dave Bautista would just become Dave barista
DeathbedHandjob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lizardman.
Writer10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I do indeed have a friend who's the head of technology for a major firm, and his last name (wait for it)...Quant. And yes, he was born with it.
SuzQP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:19:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. I'm Johan IKEAguy.
Nice to meet you. I'm Jack Carsalesmanson.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tiffany Donkeyfluffer.
DeathSektor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meth cook
chadwr85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Jackhammer
april9th ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giggs for someone working in the gig economy.
ckellingc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashierson.
TommoMcTicklesworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
JOHNNY GUITAR
bklynsnow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Livesathome
Bigdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Xboxlivegaymer
NostalgicMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Videogamer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:20:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see no combinations of events, past, future or present, that don't end in the name Quindarious Gooch.
edave22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analrapist
nickiter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Methier
(From the Cajun regions of Louisiana.)
rangemaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Also popular in Missouri.
Albino_Axolotl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is John, John Boommic. My father was the Boom Mic operator for many movies.
CreepyPhotographer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Brandambassador
Phauxed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emojitranslaterson
JytteAzelle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Tecker
9fmaverick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"loser"
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Antifa
Cosplayer
Roleplayer
Graphicnovel
Nerdsheek
PM_ME_MAMMARY_GLANDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:21:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Pornstar
James Letsplayer
Frank Etsyer
Bill DJ
altaltaltpornaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Edward Fluffer
Legendary_Llama47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeremy Pornstar
jamers2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Solicitor
overthereoverhere2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cleveland Memer
West1488 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brian vlogger
iNoahPhotography ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's up guys, Joe YouTuber here.
MudaThumpa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Socialsecurity, meet Janet Flufferton.
WeIsStonedImmaculate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Root
And my brother
Toor
NostalgicMoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Youtuber.
ulti_khopdi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would porn stars be called? Andy Fucker?
bambam1317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll. Kenneth M Troll.
JudgeJebb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeb "Waiter at a take-away cafe" Barista
NeverUseMyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Pussygrabber
Helix1322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny YouTube
MantraOfTheMoron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:22:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Megalomaniac
minotar685 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think the best would be pornstars. "Hello, yes this is Jessica Fucker"
Bob_Sandvagene ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
Richard Fapper
erenjaegerbomb93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Here in Texas, Piper. We have so many pipeliners lol
waterdog67 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McSparkey. McStuckinnaatic. McPotdealer. Mclivinathome. McVlogger
C-Gi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Materialanalysistchemistman
NeverUseMyName ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Fucker, Debbie Sucker, Jenna Blower
MrBonis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jhon Intern
MichealR24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Dickbutt
suhawhee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tammy Momtrepreneur is has an exciting opportunity that will change your life!
illaqueable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being from the medical profession, I imagine things would get very interesting: either there'd be a whole pile of John/Jane Doctors or we'd go down the rabbit hole of subspecialties like Jane Radonc, John Transplantsurgeon, Jane Pediatricotolaryngologist, John Nonoperativeorthopedics
nardfacekilla ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walmartin
WrathOfSolace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter, maybe spelled differently, wayter idk
sy029 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn stars would be named Fucker
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:07 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Girlongirl, a long line of test tube inseminations I'd assume?
Deepthroater
Gangbanger
Esc_ape_artist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone in IT
John IT.
Samantha IT.
Bob IT.
Carrie IT.
Loki_d20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Websmith
Johannes_Cabal_NA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McBoatFace
phunpwn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be James Redditer
Drak_is_Right ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Exterminator
I_Raptus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ziggy Zerohourscontract
funfetti-ish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With the way the economy is headed. I don't think the names will be very cool at all. All service jobs pretty soon . Travis checkout. Collin mid'management. Lisa nailtechy. Chet callcenter.
pmhesse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cyber
animatorguy2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlog
purplewhiteblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:24:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Fluffer
ConvenienceStoreDiet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elizabeth Cammodel
Gordon Turkeyjerker
Harriet Trafficwaver
Oliver Metermaid
Janet Youtuber
Warren Podcaster
Alanis Influencer
jamers2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assembler
yalalalaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Druggist.
geeky_username ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Esporter
BanditandSnowman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emma 'false' Equality
TheThankUMan88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kind of related. I'm black with a weird last name and I get my last name from my ancestors slave masters. White people always ask "Oh where is that from", I just smile and say "It's from the slave trade. Do you know where I can find them?"
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And here we have Mr. Blackcard,
whose closely related to the Reparations family,
and loosely related to the Didntdonuffins.
TheThankUMan88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:55:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nah, I don't take it that seriously. I just find it weird when I have to tell them, I could lie and say it's a name with some great history, but its not. So I tell the truth.
OK6502 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ProGamer Al PwnNoobs bin BlazeitFourtwenty
FoldingUserFerrariic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
arcadiaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Sysadmin
fauxbourdon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Barbara Socialmedia-Influencer always has the nicest Instagram posts!"
deathsythe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Engineer, table for two please.
Task_wizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And that's why we call you James Whoreson!"
redditRW ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:25:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Derrick Barista
John Bartender
Sean Waitperson
infestahDeck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Manuel Labor
herowithacomputer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Digital App Developer
beizhia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker
I would be a Hacker.
I would like that.
sick_meme_dude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey my name's Joey Unemployed, but you can just call me Joey...
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Freelancer" would be the Smith or Jones of the modern era.
jeepdave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker. Tucker Trucker.
DruidOfFail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Todd OPsMomFucker.
depreciatingaccount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales Ass.
Ktran9210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hmmm nothing new. Dickinson is already an established surname...
entreprenew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:26:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
saucygamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
QubaHQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In San Francisco and Seattle it would have to be Softeng, or possibly Swengi
(software engineer)
kcrob22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blumpkingiver
gomy1020 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert '); DROP TABLE Students;--
satanicmajesty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asshole waxer
gladitwasntme2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mohammed
DecentUserName0000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John The Rapist...
I mean John Therapist
Fevi117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Huge Programmer
that_one_chicc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Vlogger Mr. Mukbanger Miss Camgirl
KMcrascal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vaper
hafabee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Golddigger.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:27:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alternativefacts
Fakenews
Biasedreporting
marley88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mister Manager!
khthon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vidya
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollol
drakecake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deborah Camgirl
Canuckpunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slacker
Kekoa_ok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Active Duty Regret
khthon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Worldstar
vegetablestew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Congresscritter
Homer_Goes_Crazy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Weedealer
dfrtyfiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would professional athletes all be named after their sport? It would get confusing if the back of EVERY JERSEY said "football".
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benchwarmer
Injuredlist
Quarterback
Waterboy
Towelboy
Tookaknee
DonnieBeGood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Mr Zero Hours Contract
ujorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder
IndianaJones_Jr_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Getofftheroadyousonofabitch
HawkinsT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Dole
RyanStantonBaker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hiemen Debt
sureshot78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Duh... Obviously McBoatface
urgaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wateroom, doesn't sound too bad when you say it altogether
I work at a wastewater treatment plant in the water room for those wondring
schewbacca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr.Wanker
wunce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom
devil-sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista, Barman, Stocker, Caller, Host, Racer, Dealer, Teller.
neihuffda ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:38:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
At the party
"Hi, I'm Neihuffda Engineer!"
"Hi there, Chad Barista! Nice to meet you!"
"Okay, I just need to go over here for a bit..."
I'd much more like to talk to that Catherine Cardiologist, to be honest. The human heart is a tad more fascinating than pressing water through ground coffee beans.
skyfox3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, builder, landlord... Idk
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm william pornstar! nice to meet you!
UserNumber314 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Outsource, Joe Outsource or Helpdesk, Joe Helpdesk.
MrBanjankri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Broke
Kustomee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Sarahah
Zach-uh-ri-uh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:29:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stoner.
"Hi this is Zach uhh... Zachary Stoner"
Hobodownthestreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meet Michael Youtubestar.
bat_dragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cloud, container, bigD, Hadoop
YourVeryOwnAids ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech would be the new Smith.
Capricore58 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst, Representative, etc
Lugey81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bum
FapLeft ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tony Memes, Mike Telemarketer, Steve Pilot, Ronny Electric, Boris Structuralengineer
TS_05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi im John Redditmod
BobRagged ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socialmediamanager
CookieMonsterHunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I don't trust that Janet Polldancer."
Miskatonixxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:30:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Web
zoahporre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
fiveminded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber, Marketer, Spammer
kahrytes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeremy Replacedbyautomation
Frederick Unemployable
Donovan Minimumwagedebtslave
Reginald Q. Permastudent
BeenDrowned ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
evil-rick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be a EvilRick Groomer.
baavramallah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interstellar
hrmmisee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom
MajesticCreeper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luke BailBondsman, Kevin CyberSecurity, Carla Escort, Hans Uber, Anita Lyft, Marshall Helpdesk, Lester Coroner, Steve CyberCzar
NetWeaver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname would be "Netweaver" I would hope... I'm a network engineer.
jimmyd1911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think "Reboot" would be more apt. ;)
NetWeaver ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:48:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sounds like an end user complaint? Maybe systems run their OS image from a PXE approach, and a reboot ensures you load the latest image on say your DOCSIS cable modem. My systems tend to reboot rarely, and in a planned fashion, thank you very much.
Or was that an IT crowd joke?
Draycon11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I never even realized those names referred to professions...
TheOneWhoReadsStuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:31:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Programs. Sarah Telemarketer. Robert Pizzadriver.
beatmaster23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porncouchcleaner
BearWrangler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt.
Since some people seem to have this profession on the side.
another30yovirgin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver
hcsLabs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greg Dudaneedful.
PM_ME_YOUR_RegEx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samantha Drudgery
Zhanchiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Now engineers l don't have to tell people they are engineers. Nah they will anyways.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:32:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Cynthia Mediaoutreach!"
RareCoinsGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roger Workman
Garlicboy101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker
DarkResurgence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cockblaster
Hobodownthestreet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Shitposter comes from a long line of proud Shitposters.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pepe Le Pew
GrinWhenYouSayThat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Perl Coder.
Allegd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hanzoman
privatly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trumpsucker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Gordon Bankrobber.
colsonicatt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger. YouTuber. LetsPlayer. LiveStreamer.
thraashman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
HKFukIt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burgerflipper, shortorder, LackSkill
Bmw-invader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Barista
javoss88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice evil ring to that
hibert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:33:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dabbington
freshoutofbatteries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This'll get buried but, Analyst.
chichiriviche ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Barista
AbsoluteZeroK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny UTubs great grandfather made his fortune posting videos of his cats on the internet.
AnalogOfDwarves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ted Bureaucrat, Mary Reply-All, Jim Salesman
Griffolion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code Rockstar
FlipKickBack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh shit, is that where those names came from?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Leethax
Grolschisgood ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shit-Stirrer
AuburnJunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:34:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John FryCook
AidanCues ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dole, Steven Dole
suckassmule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:35:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jaime Attentionwhore
Fresh1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name would be Programmerton
trentinthetrees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DJ
SincereEngineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Barista
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Blogger, Jim Accountant, Samantha Roughneckson,
FdgPgn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cammodel. Would be a good one.
lenswipe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hey, my name is Mr Joel Sandwich-artist"
PM-ME-UR-HAPPINESS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Late to the party, but keep in mind that not every profession became a surname, only the ones that people wanted to be known as. For example, Fletcher (arrowmaker) is a reasonably common name because making arrows is difficult, but Bowyer (bow maker) is not, because bows are significantly easier to produce.
riceprezpip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer would be a cool one. 'Hi, I'm Tyson Developer'
rdmc23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:37:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Cocksucker.
BarfBagBill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer lol
mrjb3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jobseekers
squeezewhiz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Greeter
Fed_up_with_Reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My daughter brought home her date, Dale Whoreson. I really want to meet his mom.
BaconRapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:38:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Failure-Disappointment
the_fewer_desires ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moneymover
DreamingOfMars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John DeeJay, Johnny Personal Trainer, Jenny TubeFamous,
cH3x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Flipper
l33pi3p3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Doll or Jimmy Pension
Stacey Blogger
Tom Barista
Bradley AppleStoreGuy
Kahne_Fan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richie Redditor
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whore.
DirkDiggler6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
RemnantArcadia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:39:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber (youtuber)
VPee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Fucker
FrankenGretchen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maggie Housepainter... Fran Babycatcher... Dan Faux (Newster? Or Liester?)
apples_teo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Sir Point of Service at your service preared to serve... and service the account. PS please do not refer to me as a POS because the related acronym is degrading
dogboystoy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. or Mrs. Fixer.. How about father crack, or Priest touchie.
Anrende ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, I'm john Youtuber
WooRankDown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:22 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whitehat
javoss88 ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:54:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SIR Whitehat
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lifecoach
shambol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
wedding-planner (classy double barrel name)
_Asthenos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:40:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That Mat Theorist over there won't give Scott his baby
nl1004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jenny Snapfilter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Customer Services Representative
southerstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roughneck, John Roughneck
N01R7H3BL4CK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder, John Pornographer
degenerate777 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Gigolo
ohlawl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lyftdriver
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moonwalker
Monoshade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
Scratchiest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:41:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Programmer, Projmang, Tuber, Drawler, Lifter, Mover, Manwithavan.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
dr69ons6mur6i ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone took that already
SFGator88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
platanopower8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber. James YouTuber.
Alfredoaran ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jhonn Joetuber. Just wait enough.
jac_aattack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My family would be the Baristas!
I find it odd no one has said barista or Starbucks yet.
sweatymiddleagedman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper
PaperPhoneBox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fred Dickpicer
xToothii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FlightAttendant
GrizFyrFyter1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reefer
Jmu7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:42:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SocialMediaWhore
oms_22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samuel Sewage Pump Retail
malaeria ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker instead of Tucker
TheOtherGuttersnipe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sandeep Technicalsupport
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sandeep Fake Technicalsupport
gloveman90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danny Ruby Developer
OrangeDuckey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Java would be a surname, or someone other programming related name
Buckcheeks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't wanna meet Theodore Youtuberson.
ovaltine_spice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tekkie.
Mr Tekkie, Mrs Tekkie. Has a nice ring to it. works with christian names too.
You could even have the bunch of variants that confuse people. Techy, Techey, Tekky etc. etc.
GrinAndBareItAll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:43:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is asa Dickson-butt. Nice to meet you
kah_blouie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyster
MichaelSabo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
stream, blogger, stacker
elhenzo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer
SparksTheUnicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jill Stickitinmeonfilm
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be: AtomSpiltter
Kinda cool actually.
neihuffda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Do you split atoms?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:28:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sure do... then make electricity out of the heat generated.
Cernunnos280 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chris Hackerman
Chandler_Bings_Anus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully not Felcher
acemccrank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitterman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
im_dead_sirius ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 23:50:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lots and lots. Even some you would not expect, like Baxter, which is a female version of Baker.
alex435blazeit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:44:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex Buttonpusher eh?
Dougblackjr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Bill (whatever JavaScript framework is popular today), nice to meet you!
Absolutedisgrace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Mr Karma
Fly_Jack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Actor (Hanks) Natalie Actress Brad Actor Tom Actor (Cruise) ...
Jimmy Talkmen (Kimmel Jimmy Talkmen (Fallon)
baekadelah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sandwich Artist
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lucius of the technical Conner Dunn analyst Greg the realtor Thorium of the ubering
Redditphone99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder has a nice ring to it.
FuegoFerdinand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
McNoogets ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
bombalicious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey you.
antika0n ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McCrackwhore.
Ok... I've been watching a a lot of Norm MacDonald lately.
Skadoosh_it ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:46:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord, Interwebs, Pilltaker, Longhauler just to name a few.
HarkHanson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonaquarius bagboy.
acidambiance ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social Media Influencer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dank
charlietango13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Blogger
PrestigeW0rldW1de ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapperman, Sean Fapperman
DemiGod9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Savannah YouTube
David Like button
Jeffrey Subscribe
OhCrapImBusted ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:47:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grifter.
One on every street corner, it seems.
AlbrahamLincoln ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker
thassae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about "Freelance"?
David_Delivers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Letterman
8Warden12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
computer
you know, like someone that computes things
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore.
javoss88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Search
LordLlamacat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Dickinson
HulkThinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asskisser
EKEEFE41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mane name is Ted Itsupport.
Middle name:
"didyourbootno...notlogoffandonarealrebootliketurnitoffandon"
KriegerClone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
bsdaz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Welfare
TDExRoB ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:48:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Public Relations Officer
BCJunglist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customerservicerep
Fastfoodslave
Salesassociate (this means you work at walmart for minimum)
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Shitposter
iamheathbar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sharpiebutt
burlal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi. Pleased to meet you. Gareth Hedgefund."
*shakes hand
"Hey. Alice Timeshare."
AstralWeekends ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:49:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Budtender
Arkandrial ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porners
killerBerberecho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Curious that in the spanish region of Galicia, that goes on too. For example my surname is Mariรฑo (pronounced Marinyoo ), and it literaly means Sailor. Theres other examples like Ferreiro, that means Blacksmith,
killerBerberecho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Curious that in the spanish region of Galicia, that goes on too. For example my surname is Mariรฑo (pronounced Marinyoo ), and it literaly means Sailor. Theres other examples like Ferreiro, that means Blacksmith,
skeptoid79 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl
Hey_Dude_12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh hello there Mr. Welfare
IronOhki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:33 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I actually know a lot of people who's last names would be Developer, Engineer, Tester, Dishwasher or Barista, who all want the last name Artist.
holographicneuron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder obviously
Th31rishL4dd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barry Rista.
Manic_Monad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckboy...
Swift_Jolteon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freelance, because everyone wants to be a freelance photographer nowadays
Jizzicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well seeing as the trades were predominant - Sparky, Chippy, Bricky, Scaff, and Pipe-Wanker would be fairly common.
LaserQuest ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people would have the last name "DJ" Timothy DJ, Samantha DJ etc.
FrankObolobolopoulos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Monica Blower?
(Aka Monica Lewinsky)
gfcf14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:50:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would Dev/devv for a software developer count?
lockedinaroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Off the top of my head: Cashier, analyst, sales, firefighter, cop, manager...
I don't know how well that would in today's society. It used to be that parents would teach the children the family trade. I imagine that's how the whole family got to be known as Smiths, Taylors, Fishers, etc.
Speedstormer123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:12 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alexxis Pornstar
j_la ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. President.
archer57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
maljr12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Memer
Pleaseluggage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
hydrazi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Burgerflipper. Bob Programmer. Ariel Contentcreator. Kim Heroindealer.
PM_MEMONEYYY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Production/Warehouse worker here. So i guess mines would be John Warehouse or John Production? Idk. Lol
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Waterboy
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Martha Multilevelmarketer
bwoodcock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's the Geek family, and it's subfamily tree. Securitygeek, Ayeteegeek, Unixgeek, Peeceegeek. Closely related to the Nerd greater family tree.
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susie Stayathomemummy
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Garbagemann
kneel_armstrong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All joking aside, there actually is a former Indian cricketer by the name of Farokh Engineer.
DatGrag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP:
"Name jobs"
gets frontpage
Carlulua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:55 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name's Janice Herbalife!
ICUTrollin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer? Memer?
cannedthought ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:51:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny fx
Bonesworth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doogiewalker
CPledger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Underling", "Peon", "Wage-Slave", "Expendable"
ice_espresso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Emojitranslator
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Panhandler
X0AN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rajesh techsupport Rajesh carcrashscam
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Olympian
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Troll
tuzigaizao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Did you hear? The Consultantsons have a baby boy on the way!"
NINgameTENmasterDO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Community.
Statharas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McYutubar
mental_fallout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Coder
postuk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nigel Neet
gobslobberson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:52:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ryan Jobless Bill Couchsurfer Jill Outsourced Tim Deadwood Caesar MBAlies Karen Pornstream Mike Clickfraudster Dan Downsizer Larry Laidoff Jarred Sandwichophile
lurker4lyfe6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Shitpost
mostly_drunk_mostly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr. Manager!
CommanderD3RP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Daniel Pournstahr
seanf999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itsjustaprankbro!
laffytaffy6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Support Sewport
antiduh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For all the software developers out there, codemacher.
senatorpjt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Dole
itsneversunnyin___ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cory Counterjockey
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barry Backend
BananaBaseball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodman. Saul Goodman.
bagpiper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:38 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codemonkeyโฆ (adjusts cuffs) James Codemonkeyโฆ
the2belo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Robert Livestreamer
ub3rscoober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:40 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susan prostituteson
Nutcup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tammy Realtor
JoeLouie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Cablemen
Trekz707 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby camgirl sounds pretty bad...
manufacturedefect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salesman. Policeman. Fireman. Clerk. Janitor. Nurse. Whore. Stripper. Bouncer. Bartender. Garbageman. Manager. Electrician. Plumber. etc...
richardec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. I'm Mr. รber
Theseuseus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer
BL_SH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hotmetal. Pretty badass last name for a web designer.
BlankSmitty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Garbageman
dumperboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:13 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John McFluffer
Stumbling_Sober ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Midlevianmanร ge
ellis1884uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Reboot (or Off-On)
austinape9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/5ykkei/gotta_keep_it_simple/
HoosierRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
artem_m ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Informationtechnology
divv ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
derrickwie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:46 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You know when I once asked my dad how people even came up with last names, he explained it as "someone with the last name Miller might have owned a mill or Smith may have been a blacksmith"
He had no response when I asked about someone with the last name Dickinson
bvanevery ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Debug
123poopy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:54:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computerman
diggexpat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer, Tuber, Tweeter, Stroker
Davinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:06 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Judge
YourSenpai_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Monday Mr. Tuesday Mr. Wednesday
And etc
NathannMorais ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:14 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'); DROP TABLE students;--
Themiamitoker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MR.STEALYOGIRL !!!!! I've been waiting a while for something like this to happen
IPoopInYourMilkshake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The moment never arrived
Argospanoptes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:24 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Parker K. Carmaker
Tuxedomex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer would surely make the list.
Oh the humanity.
Tuxedomex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer would surely make the list.
Oh the humanity.
ovaltine_spice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gender Neutral. Just, the whole family.. named Gender Neutral. They forego the gendered prefixes too.
Just think of it, Dr Gender Neutral, M.D.
Gender Neutral MP
Gender Neutral Esq.
Gender Neutral OBE
ok I'll stop now...Gender Neutral MA
threetogetready ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:35 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Trophywife
Ajegwu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think not having a generation of immigrants named Johnny Webmaster is a missed opportunity.
nickisam237 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:55:43 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert YouTube
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professional victim blogger.
Dial111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:08 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colin Cuck
Themaddieful ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Went to school with a girl whose surname was Stripper... she was friends with a girl whose surname was Slapper... I feel like theyโd make a good movie duo.
Our food tech teacher was Miss Cook and the guy who ran the cafeteria was Mr Pickles...
Did I go to a cartoon high school?
lurker4lyfe6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Betty Fluffer
Mixed_Opinions_guy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:29 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy worksatmicrosoftman (age 9, plays COD)
Unemployedman
thegreatlordlucifer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Administrator
sheervertigo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. disability
yuneeq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:56:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Neckbeard
ACEcHa0t1c14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Professorson
calimero1845 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:18 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Scammers
throway_nonjw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elijah Codecutter.
Stefan Barista.
Tom Waiter.
Jack Sparks (in Australia, an electrician is a 'sparky').
nmhnmhnmhnmh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer.
Munoff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Influencer. Diana Podcaster. Augustus Redditor. Ben Coder. Robert Reviewer. Amy Tuber.
Tristan2007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Python ... Cody Python!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
hazmat7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper?
easyhook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:57 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Phisher
pootrails ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:57:58 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan J JizzMopper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burgerslave
bystander007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, hello there Mrs. Hooker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst, Alan Analyst.
Alexander_Elysia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my highschool chem teacher's last name was Element, funny enough she pursued chemistry teaching after she didn't like accounting
orthotraumamama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
She was out of her element.
DaBlakMayne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Programmer
Jenny Scientist
Tim Pipette
Baije ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:23 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Coblar (gobler) from whence five pence is the bottom dealio for an ol felatio
appleflaxen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
webdiddler
tralphaz43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hope Dickinson isn't a job title
zandyman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Given that 1 in 5 families is on some form of assistance, I think we might to factor that in.
Mr. Tanf, this is Ms. Snap. Mr. Ebt, meet Mr. Generationsofbadpoluticianshavescrewedoureconomyandeducationsystemsobadlyinecerreallyhadanopportunity.
itsmauitime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber
LordVatek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:58:54 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Casher.
MrAwesome54 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, for both pillow enthusiasts and penis enthusiasts, Fluffersson. Fluffovich? Fluffwright.
dissidentrhetoric ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:05 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
gender studies
MacMason ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:15 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Mrs benefits
wmdailey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:17 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker for pornographers.
Hi, who are you? I'm Steven Fucker of the San Fernando Fuckers. Ohhh those Fuckers. Very powerful family.
AmishTechno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techerman.
Fuplifter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:20 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Fluffer
pilgrimlost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Look up the book Jennifer Government by Max Barry.
The future us has surnames of their employer, not so much their professional role. I bet you can guess who Jennifer works for...
scarred-sunset ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:41 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane Cammodel? For webcam girls?
Elfere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:59:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Homer Homeless.
InvictusManeo97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barrister (Lawyer)
JustMeAgainMarge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The names Asshole... Huge Asshole.
AlphaTyrant ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How many Assholes I got on this ship, anyways?
nsfw0821 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:00:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The names manager. Mister manager
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Exactchangetollboothoperator
YaBoiMigz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Louis Lyft
milkingdonkeys123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:01:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hooker
Buttcheekllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retaylor, Salesmen, Klarikalaid, Fyreman, Pylut, Loughzer
Kid_Koon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Bartholomew Cum-Dumper, Son of Anthony Cum-Dumper, top of the morning to you.
You_minivan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brain (pronounced "Brian") Barista. He smokes weed with Chad Sandwichartist in the alley during breaks.
bonkersllama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
MarkToasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Blogger
halfcastaussie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you wrote E books you'd be Mr.E book and everyone would think you're a Stieg Larsson type.
a__b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
MaxwellVolume42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Benjamin Youtuber and you're watching Ancient Memes with your host, Jonathan Surveyfillerouter.
wodkat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Merkaaba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anchorman
YaBoiMigz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. IronFistSwornEnemyOfTheHandProtectorOfKunLun
FishPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:02:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government.
Yoda7224 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Left4DayZ1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, Mr. Gofundme.
JawnZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Manager. Aka Mr. Manager
Steve Assistanttodamanager
James Peon
Gabochuky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Fapper
DeltaBravo831 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dicksmith
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Struggling DJ
KamehameGage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:03:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, you must be Mr. Barista."
Maladjusted73 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call me Jeff Webmaster
JohnnyCarsin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
But here's the real question: is "Parker" the last name of a valet, or is that something entirely different?
Should Spider-Man then actually be called "Peter Valet?"
BLU3SKU1L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'M THE HIGHWAY MAN"
"I make ends meet.
I work with my hands, just like any other man.."
dronesectorscout ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
4chanisforbabies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CustomerServiceRepresentative. Cusser for short
StickyMustache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
NaanSequitur09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jacob Bloodletter
MashedPotato-Sama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi! I'm Mashedpotato Gamerson, and this is my wife Lรคme Pornstar-Gamerson. Fleeced to meet you.
ks501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane Camgirl
arcademachin3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
afewskills ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codeman
thatoldhorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:04:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Barister would definitely be one.
whowantscake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daryl YouTuber, Kelly Selfie, Hana Yolo, Miguel Dreamer.
bluehelicopter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vloggerson, Nurson, Instafamouson, Architect, Engineer, Welder/ Welderson, Plumber, Account, Photograff
damntree ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Wage-Slave.
RayJukWit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well if you say these names out loud they sound realistic: Hannah Vlogger, Bobby Streamer, Deborah Barista
Lakecide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zebediah Memer
FinnNuwok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, Codemonkey, Techie, IT
manicmidori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ashley InstagramHoe
Nate_Summers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ubermensch
toppolinos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nathan Fluffer.
gzeus77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank shittercleaner
taeg1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert Gallowboob
Talkingarb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel Richard would become a lot less popular name among allot of profesions
Mr_Muz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Joe Bloggs
Poyo-Poyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Brogrammer
kenxcross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Tester
zzellers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy InboundMarkertingManager. Rolls off the tongue pretty well
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:06:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blog Blogger
whalemanlabrador ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Ipadrepairman Jr.
clockhound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John e-sport
chingira ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Musical.ly / Mr. Muser
optigrabz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey mom... I I'll be home by dinner the guys are playing baseball at the Uber's house
Poyo-Poyo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Sys'Analyst
EhJae06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:07:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Critic. There's a bunch of them out there already.
canarygrass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rico SoundcloudRapper
megabeast137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Im pretty sure benifit counts as a job but cant think of a good one any help
Chron300p ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Coder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:08:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It would be funny because doctors would all be "Dr. Doctor.
Hello I'm Dr. James Doctor MD.
Kidneys acting up? Don't worry I know a great specialist, Dr. Doctor in New York. He's excellent. Not to be confused with his cousin, Dr. Doctor the proctologist.
lazyf-inirishman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
William Businessanalyst
Amanda Accountmanager
Deshaun Outsidesalesrepresentative
Li Licensedpracticalnurse
Bageldar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dear little Penny PenetrationTester was refused the role on 'ethical grounds'.
Krono5_8666V8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Mr. Neet
kimchee75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matt Livinginparentsbasementston
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If it hasn't already been said, Analrapist
RomanesEuntDomusX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:09:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey there, Johnny Intern!
literal-hitler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Contractor or Vendor.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Fitteapromoter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Chef
FiveAgst1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultant
Pretty sure someone would wind up named Richard just because
DeFex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zerohour
bigatjoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Ethan Socialmediainfluencer.
A_Booger_In_The_Hand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's Mr. Middle-Manager to you, thank you very much. I didn't attend an online seminar for nothing!
1LtKaiser ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
LukeGeneva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:10:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biochemist. John Biochemist.
officiallyrad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scrolller
PureAntimatter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Barista actually has a nice ring to it.
twister_rocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson would be concerning...
tacolikesweed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:11:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fidget-Spinner, we just couldn't decide.
elvenmage16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger sounds like it would be a legit name. John Blogger.
smhanna ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm John Plumber.
theBADjackal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert the dealer
BigAzzLeprechaun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson.
TremblingJowels ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Technician
thelegoman0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Viner, Tuber
moby323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Uber.
GoldieMMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:12:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Admin
Welfare
Mechanic
Electrician
Engineer
Architect
Retail
Salesrep
Consult
Cashier
Nurse
Waiter
Secretary
Cop, Lawman
Salesrep
Coder
Admin
Rentacop, Mallcop
Nitpicker
MajorGrempington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
you wrote admin twice
GoldieMMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I added Nitpicker to the list.
HumousFiend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ebenezer IT-Guy
thehuntedfew ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr subscribe
realdoctorphil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr Manager.
homeopathological ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cindy Hashslinger hopped behind the corner and into the recycling bin. As she hid from Fred Constable she questioned her life choices.
ques_air ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder ๐ฉ
Skiingfun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine if Mr callcentercustomerservicerep married mrs. Parttimeseasonalretailconsultant.
Spoolerdoing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deadbeatson, Tempson, Ceoson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:13:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carlos Redditorson Emily Netflixbinger Jenny Angryreviewer Samuel Killstreak Daniela Gitguders
Getinthat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer
hutimuti ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Barista Kelli Hacker Teresa Blogger
xredgambit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know of a guy who is both an analysis and a therapist. He'd be Mr Analrapist.
CodyJProductions ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, nice to meet you.
We're Mr. and Mrs. SocialMediaInfluencer
Jeepeezles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
overtoke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollmasterson
nutsaur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wang.
RaptureRising ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:14:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Barista and Jane Blogger.
not_kelsey_grammar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Graphic Designer' would be the new 'Smith'.
GentlemenOfLeisure ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Guitar.
Play it again my Johnny
ZooBitch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thats Mrs Zoo Bitch to you.
busac006 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Candice "Candy" Rapper.
Sheldonopolus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reddmod could be one of those
TheW1ldcard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTube
Renegadeknight3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is actually kinda cool for coming up with last names for character.
HerbertKornfeldRIP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:15:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
Rogue_FX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twittermaker...? Tweeter?
ds612 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gene Hackman
MikTheAsian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Dodecahedrus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like.
Especially if they use the 'surname first' system of some countries.
I'm Like Tiffany.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Twerks
devidicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
2laughinggirls ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chicken sexers, line stander, cuddler
Ginataro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that surnames in the past were named after professions
annagreengill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Stripper. Richard and Bertha Stripper got laughed at a lot, but they couldn't quite figure out why.
hjwoolwine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:16:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brewer, of the Asheville microbreweries
or I don't know, thots or some dumb shit
InsanityWolfie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Merchant would be an easy one for anyone who works in retail.
Baker and Cook for those in food industry.
Thatcher would still work for those in Roofing.
Carpenter for construction workers, I guess?
Driver would be a big one.
Mr. Brewer would be popular at parties.
Redjohngolf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anita Ho
HerbertKornfeldRIP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Helen Waictress Roberta Camgirl
Churchul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McArmy McDrone Genocider Iraqiller etc
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:17:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PigMilkSuckler for Lobbyist
BubblesForBrains ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roger Pimp Esq.
LtheDestroyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sophie stripper
Maverick842 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Tim Sysadmin
ButterKnights ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John unemployed
ilovebing46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Craig Idlerich. What's your name?
omnidohdohdoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:18:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Youtuber
futboi91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
KujotaroJoestar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Memelord
McSmallFries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
AxeOfWyndham ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEET
cjluthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
EDIT: Dupe.
dry-rocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:19:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll would be mity popular!
benjamincecil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Webmaster since most names are a bit archaic.
zillskillnillfrill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Dolebludger" would become Australia's leading surname considering that procreation is the most entertaining thing to do when you haven't a job
Tabisama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
GooseVersusRobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Poopypants
Nukemm33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
To name a few:
Hello, I'm Bob Telemarketer.
Hello, I'm Suzy Vlogger.
Hello, I'm Sam Welcometomcdonaldssorryouricecreammachineisnotworkingrightnow.
PhiZappaKrappa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:20:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
SanguineThought ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny pornographer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
House Airbnb, the Great House of Westeros.
Eylmao537 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
wags7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeez these are all too good compared to the one that came up off the top of my head... Brad Garbageman :(
GennyGeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
NEET
Mastagon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greg Writesanovelheneverfinishes, Erica Withaanartsdegree, Brian Wholooksatcatpictures,
CaptPicard85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Streamer' would be the new 'Smith'
HammerOn1024 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, cidermil, machinist, nailer, lumberer, desk, clerk, typist....
Paramedic730 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Fisher
Jeebus30000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:21:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Webdesigner
Rebuta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Banks. Pokerstar. Paparazzi
cramova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
clipper20 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Baristas
lionmunk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:22:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
If you're talking internet occupations, Vlogger, Disser/Disstracker/Dissman, Soundcloudrapper/Scrapper, Articlesmith, Quizsmith, Quizwright, Streamer, Titstreamer, Gamer/Gamerman.
fuegobarista ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Cultural influencer"
nishathomp93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weldson (Sons of welders)
LockedOutOfElfland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timothy Computer Scientist would be an interesting name. Or John Infotech.
Bozly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dominatrix. Mizz Dominatrix
portuguesecunt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello, I'm Johnny Cab " tuturuturuteruru.....Love....is a burning thing ;)
Styx1992 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:23:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Master
Baiter
DangOlTiddies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Justin Plumberman.
AFistFulOfRupees ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Plumber/plummer is a surname
DangOlTiddies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ah.
TheNerdBurglar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samantha instagrammodel
YouTube-DennisLoong ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You Tuber
oonnnn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Fitness Instructor
ManBearPig9220 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant to the Regional Manager
ElephantRattle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Humanresourcer
pottersquash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camstar
ClimbingTheWalls697 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh Charles, have you met Tiffany OxyContin? Of the Connecticut OxyContins?"
senormankee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Wankkerr, his father was a politician
Tacosauce3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:24:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Side question, my last name is York. What kind of job does that represent?
salfordgunstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm billy bog scrubber, or peter ppi caller, or even Sidney spam sender.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody?
Uebeltank ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ethan Unpaid-Intern
_metamax_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I don't know ab popular, but Skidmore. I mean, wtf is that about?
droppingbasses ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
โTwas a stormy day like this one and Sally InstagramModel felt gloomy
DrawsWithPaws ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amanda AssisstantStoreLeader
msmythe94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bartenderman
mjbfikus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So-and-so instaslut
SharqPhinFtw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim sextoytester was annoyed when he was stopped at the airport by a laughing attendant.
boomtnt46 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder
Sheepdog14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:25:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL surnames came from profession
armatron444 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customerrelationshipmanagerski
harbinger06 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine would be Photonsmith lol
jascrd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DJ
bobfortune ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In LA there would be a lot of people called Actorslashmodelslashdeejay
NorthWoods16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson.
jerzd00d ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Turdbuster
KaBar42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cheesemaker.
fragment137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:26:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Terry. Terry Googler.
Or' 'Geaughler'
daysdncnfusd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Chandler Transpondster
TAW_3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Python.
jackdrastic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:27:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl
pulpfunktion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter has a nice ring to it
hereticscum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Swedish names are so much better, we have the "son" thing going, and my father makes commercials, so Iam a commercialsson, in Swedish reklamarson, what a time to be alive!
I_Am_BN ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sally Instagrammodel would be up there
Meatchris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:28:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Troll
Afghan_dan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
thetotalhermit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Housewife
CocoShaynel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Jizzmopper had to find a new profession due to the abundance of internet porn.
chIoroform ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"gamer" and for my homosexuals out there "gaymer"
Sambrosa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Twitch.tv or Dr. DisRespectLIVE Doc Com
goodBEan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer Spamer Obgyn Stuntman
iris12345 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:29:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
cloudappsupport
progwrx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Probably either Freelancer or Contractor, tbh
untranslatable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pity the girl whose dad was named Showsdickformoney.
0______- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer. Slacker. Redditor.
Troller?
Y_wouldnt_Eye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffrey Drivethru
UnnamedIntern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:30:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some day we'll look back in history and find out how crucial and influential the SoundCloudRapper clan was
ClearlyUptoSomething ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt, Cuck. Etc.
Headset365 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bret YouTube. Or Bret (name of YouTube channel).
bioszombie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:31:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beef Supreme
Tylenol Jones
Not Sure
CaramelJesus24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger, CryptoTradรฉr
SunniestBro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Coder
HughJorgens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deals, Bumps, Tokes. Mooch, Scounge, Coat-Tails. Stockman, Telemarket, Wager, Schmooze. Grinds, Sweats, Fries.
NecroJoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:32:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Croccobbler
Ioex_Hoit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Googler Facebooker from 2100, Mars.
untranslatable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Jonathan Weedslinger-Parkingattendant and I'll be your server tonight....
cryfight4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe not today, but 20 years ago there'd be someone with the last name Pornarcademopper.
Ratstail91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kayne Coder.
oo_Pez_oo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Illegal
GeoTraveler1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luke hourly wage
PrestonGarbage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:34:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jacque KingOfFrance
anghus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Jizzmopper
Nicomon4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Opportunity SoundCloud Rapper Son of Chance the Rapper
4realzbruh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:35:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, wrencher, Trucker,
Cturner4545 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Tammy Craigslisthooker. That's $50 extra."
enriqed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:36:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
T.J. Hooker had some issues.
ThoreauWeighCount ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm required to introduce myself to my neighbors by my profession already. Hi Mr Smith, I'm A. Peter File.
Ioex_Hoit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Got one, President. Me nyme iz Trump President, the president of America.
Chavezjc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:37:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chef. My kid would be named Chjef. Hello, my name a Chjeff!
rantrt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surprised Banker hasn't been mentioned yet.
Joe Banker
Vikram Banker
Zheng Banker
Such an inclusive surname.
Ghstfce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retail. Bob Retail.
T0phe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer.
oo0olegendoo0o ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sammy shitposter
emg127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
MisterDarcyType ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buttlicker
Spacecommander5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker (pornstar)
DiscoverYourFuck-bot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Debbie Droner.
one-long-shitpost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:38:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I built the bridge through which many fine wares come into this town with my own two hands. They don't call me "Dan the Bridgebuilder."
I saved this town by designing and building the dam you see in town square! I give it maintenance EVERY day to ensure the safety of our people. They don't call me "Dan the Hero Dambuilder."
But I swear, you fuck ONE goat...
JonnyEddd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
Ratix0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Luke C
DrewDubya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Astronaut Mrs Linebacker Henry shortstop III Mr Camgirl
SoDatable ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When you're this admin, there's no other name: Lauren Root.
Publicity problems? That's when you call on Francis Hashtag.
Need someone who calls code their only abode? Rhonda Markup's your girl.
Delicate Silicates? You need an engineer. Nate Pentium.
Need a new computer platform built from scratch that's also going to catch? Fuck it. Steve Wozniak. There can be only one.
gummybear0068 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi I'm Tina Barista"
teachowski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Barista
RepublicanScum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditors:
John Ubi Jane Shitposter Tim Googlesfactsandizzanexpert Bill Notmebutmyfriend Tony Microagressions Jill Triggered
Everyone from Canada or the UK-
Nigel Somuchmoreevolveandcivilized
Australia:
James Cuntsokay
Very_Sharpe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
(Useless workplace IT) James ITmonkey. (Social media expert) Sarah Twitface. (Email scam asshole) Richard Sucker. (Socialite) Paris or say, Kim Suckedadickoncameraandnowimfamous
DarthKegger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What is the term for the annoying Facebook friend selling It works! Or some other health product?
SweetYellowCorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Miss Pintrest! Stop interrupting the class! Show and tell will be later, you can show everyone your new skirt then."
Later, during show and tell...
"Miss Pintrest, keep your skirt down!" "Mr. PornHub! Put that camera away while Miss Pintrest has her skirt up!" (Mumbles to herself: "Oh, this was a bad idea...") "Mr. 4chan! Put back Mr. PornHub's camera. It's not yours, you didn't snap those pictures, and we all know it."
devospice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:39:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Some of the business titles would be fun.
Hi, I'm Johnny Vicepresidentofmergersandacuisitions!
AbominaSean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karen Offendedperson
armlessturtleneck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Jobnotrelatedtomymajorson
lcmeronj2896 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Social Media Influencer
Olealicat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ali Colorist
IAmANobodyAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm James Bloggerson. This site has been in my family for generations."
feanturi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:40:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Googler, James Googler.
IAmANobodyAMA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gives a new twist to names like Bobby Flay
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Worshipful Company of Emoji Artists.
bighotcarrot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cerenity Nightworker, Anna Interin, Maria Escritorio, Max Cornweller, Mariana Ladronski, etc....
Rhuepuppy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dan Techsupport
FinalFacade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Looks like the Fuckedrayjay's are having a party and forgot to invite us again..
Yourcatsonfire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:41:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Fluffer
kwisdumb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
Sutarmekeg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whiner
theZapper343 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:42:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello Mr Twitchlord"
phrankygee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lineman.
Conatus_Hawk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Repo John Broker Slimy Banker Dave Corrupter
walloon5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Programmer, Engineer, Architect, Tester, Helpdesk, Security ...
Breadasphyxiated ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taylor Smith.
jamiesg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jamie Tick'n'tie.
Originalreaper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Tables
Saurian_Flame ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dabber.
Brumaire57 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit new occupations would make brilliant names ("Mr. Chiefhappinessofficer")
dropskrttop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone in LA would have the last name Crusheddreams
sillystephie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is interesting to think about - if this were real, your whole resume would just be a list of your maiden names.
Stephanie Student, formerly Stephanie Cashier, applying for a position as her future surname, Stephanie Coder.
Neat.
ThrowitUp2016 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex From Target
Melnorme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Those surnames came from times when the persons engaged in those occupations owned their own means of production.
If you do not so own the means of your production, your modern surname is Laborer.
Kind_Of_A_Dick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker.
JoHern ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SocialMediaInfluencer
Jowm1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, lawyer, manager, reporter.
jamiedowi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Bojangles Border-Security
dvcat5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter.
chewbacaflocka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:44:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Pickupinstructor.
frypincher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I dated a Drunkenmiller once
GHamChill12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LaToya Barista
uFawked ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texter
bashmachines ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ricardo van Powerpoint
MrEdwardinHK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Just call me Joey Intern.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eric Techsupport
MattTheFlash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Admin
Uber
Lyft (Lyfte has a nice ring to it)
Sacker
Stocker (you can make jokes, i'm talking about the people who restock shelves at night)
Gopher (and I mean that as a programmer of Go, it's an in-joke thing)
Blogger
Vlogger?
Podcaster? (actually that does sound like a last name, doesn't it?)
Miner
of course the obvious Stark, Lannister, Targayrian, and whatever else you want for the GOT references
builditup123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Me and mrs dotcom
LithiumNoir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:45:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Graaffic-D'ziner
glitterglider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny blogger got so tired of being called Johnny booger in school...
cameron1239 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My gf said, "Mr. Ihavemyown#"
IJustLoveWinning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Between Jobs. First name Steve, maybe?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme Machine.
leeeroyyjenkins ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, I'm Timothy Dopeasssoundcloudrapper
Carlin47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Budtender.
Mary Budtender
LACOOLGUY ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve SocialMediaManager
ashakilee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kasey, Korey and Kassie Famousfornoreason
foredom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maurice ITGuy
...or perhaps more appropriately...
Roy Haveyouturneditoffandonagain
Also...
John Developer
Susan Analyst
Michael Sysadmin
encourageminty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is harbour, so I'm gonna name my daughter pearl harbour
Also Pornstar would be a sickkk last name
LordPineapple ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:47:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soundman, programmer, salesman, dogwalker.
blaimingtoad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst - do with that as you do.
I personally would be A. Planogram
calor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
many of us would be called tshirtdesigner
KarringtonMcBear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Piza-Deliveri
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baller
ashakilee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Dolebludger and their 11 kids
Hashtronaut_Mode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You comin to the neighborhood barbecue? Johnny Soundcloud said he's got the beer covered.
JohnClark1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:48:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tony Hacker
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. IT
DJMu3L ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Streamer, why are you so cynical and introverted nowadays?
fuckingnormiesREEEEE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello I'm Dan Blogger
chainsawdragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornsmith. John Pornsmith.
deathrayschray ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reservation for Camslut? Party of one.
Random_act_of_Random ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timmy Redditer is an idiot
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Studentloan.
kippirnicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob CageFighter Jr.
SealRave ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker, Assistant, Intern, Cashier, and all of the other common jobs
Muninn66 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customer Service Rep
CSR
...Ceasar? that would probably be the closest we could get for all the CSR's out there
IHazOwies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:49:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname would likely be "uselesscunt".
RaijuKamiizumi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornie
Berzerk_Unit_Alpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
achennupati ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr ITguy
Reginald1120 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There'd be a horde of Mr. & Mrs. Welfarechecks
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bahaha I mentioned something similar in another thread recently, but I got sent out of class when a teacher was teaching us the origins of old english surnames.
Like how Mr Baker would have been a baker and Mr Tanner would have made leather products etc.
I asked whether Mr White was a racist and got my ass sent out of class.
Odd_craving ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Jon Hearttransplant.
sharkMonstar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:50:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
fucker
Ks427236 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Imnotapartyplannerimaneventcoordinator? You're table is ready"
higginsburrito ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, the name's Evan Marketer! Nice to meet you!
Ledge_It ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sands, Graveler, Dealer, Coders
usernamens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's time for your shoot, Mr. Pornstar.
PlebbySpaff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So I'd be Alex Nothing? Or Alex ____
M2468J ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my name's Jeremiah ITguy
Sub116610 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well according to Reddit...
Hi, I'm Jordan Nazi, but buddies jus my call me Schutzstaffel.
Galileo228 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sonar Taxlaw
pauljcgoss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:51:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Peter Welfare
TheGreenestGreening ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programson, developor
stm408 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Pediatrocgynecologist
sloan-is-alone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hostess-at-Wingstop
GoodMorningMars ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer.
Carsinogenic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny SysAadmin..... sounds like a silly name.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Oppodeldoc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have encountered a Dr Contractor before - it was confusing the first time I was asked to call him.
JSleek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Udder_horror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve cleanuptheloads
Neemoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hector Techer
pomo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could call my kids Deebeeyay.
DizzyxSin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker.
chrisisfunny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"68th President of the United States, Phineas Fluffer was known for many things. Exciting genitals being the least of them. People had often speculated as to his rather unfortunate surname, but never in his presence or even within earshot." - excerpt from the Tony award winning musical, "President My President, A Nation Under Fire".
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer.
MH420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Businessman
infidel99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:54:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Bob Methmaker
jpredd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr zeus engineer. God of electrical engineering. Or god of artificial intelligence robotics?
leelongfellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know you're probably wondering where Longfellow came from, But rest assured it's quite a story about how to get some.
TilapiaRealness ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karen From Finance
RENEGADEcorrupt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gallowboob
spekter299 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey everybody, this is my brother-in-law John Middlemanager.
Daddy_0103 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:55:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susie Gold-Digger
TheMakerAccolade ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Gamer has a nice ring to it.
EricLeRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name should then, in theory, be Eric Porneditor...
PM_ME_UR_TATAAS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Vacuum Fixer
Foxlust ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
does anyone know the translation to smitty werbenjagermanjensen?
MisunderstoodDemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Katie Kamgirl
jelliedtoast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Webmaster and Fluffer.
Warlord68 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker.
chipette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:56:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter; Starbuckian
Dragon_Paul_Z ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
M3mel0rd
GayMakeAndModel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Tables
marrabld ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
maybebabyg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Using my grandpa's profession we would be the "Computationers" (he worked IT before IT was a field, back when computers took up entire rooms and used punch cards).
Using my husband's, we'd be Robotnik.
SaltyTorterra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:57:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freelance photographer
theboozecube ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marketresearch Trucker Wouldyoulikefrieswiththat Foodblogger Plasmadonor Stuntman Jizzmopper McMiddlemanager O'Clickbait
astrohenry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Debugger
raybreezer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Dev, Jane SysAdmin.
seahawkes4lyfe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fryer... Fast food is out there!
emceelokey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wannabe
DishwasherTwig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Q. Software-Developer
IShitOnYourPost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:58:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Camgirl
butterninja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lizardman
coldbeercoldbeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bubba Gasshole
BastRelief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer P. Lardbody
mr_radar_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McBoatFace... for all those doing serious climate change research..
don_canicas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boaty McBoatface
AstroPilot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Animator
RustedMusket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:59:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Timmy Youtuber
Assassinationday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer would be one forsure
TheGentlemanBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Oh man..this gives a whole new, and horrible background to Dickinson.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Coder
gokiburi_sandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger, Droner, Coder, Douche
27savage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Slacker
_TheRealist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rapper
TheOnlyCannoli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:00:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gone
Hieillua ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Linda Cashmeoutsidegirl
ravendarklord76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker Cocksucker Squirter Screamer Yanker Dominator
TheGogglesD0Nothing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Greeter
Dr Doctor
LoLingSoHard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
victim
thelesliemommy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Raaide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Lube, Mr. Electric, Mr. Coffeeman, Mr. Weedguy, Mr. Hughedong (because porn), Mr. Comedy, Mr. Host, Dr, Streamerson, Mr. WoW, Mr. DotA
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonny Bullshitjob
romcarlos13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:01:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Hustler
LaVidaYokel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and I joked about changing our last name to "IT Professional" when we got married.
PM_ME_A_WEBSITE_IDEA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Youtuber wanted his son to follow in his foot steps and inherit the family business...a YouTube prank channel that goes just a little too far.
privatefries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:02:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Johnny J. Shitsucker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name's ITspecialist. Joseph ITspecialist.
Necronmon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jesse makesstuffandsellsitontheinternet
BastRelief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:03:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Piramidskeme
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Does 'Wanker' count as a profession?
BebopDC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
Huckerby ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:04:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, hacker, designer?
Chaz_wazzers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mousemover
huggenhero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jane "Hoochimana"
Syterinas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couple of decent ones:
Don Coder
John Trucker
Jim Barista
Sally Painter
Joe Cop
KennyTheNord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:05:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burritoroller
NinjaFire889 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Shitshoveler
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
Audrin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shannon Instaceleb
doragaes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello to you, Mr. ... Ceeser? CSR?
widermind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i guess a programmer would be a programmor?
careersinscience ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Basementdweller
ovjho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:06:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dan Ewetuber
Avaleigh Instahoe
Jakoyb DJ
HBSL1CE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jake Paulers: strongest army alive
mrsegraves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer
savagebrazilian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer, Hackerman, Hardisc.
GutturalEcho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tinder ...that's already the last name of half the girls in my contact
WhoCouldIBeNow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you. You probably heard of me, of course. I'm Carl Digitalinfluencer.
TeddyV ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brittany Brothelhouse.
LogDog32 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
RhiannonCJS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:07:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heh, an Australian author by the name of Max Barry wrote this. His book is called JENNIFER GOVERNMENT. One of my favorites!
outtathaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Wage Slave
darthbone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The thing with this topic is that at face value, it seems interesting. But in reality it's not. Ultimately all OP is asking (even if that's not what people are answering), "What are commonly held jobs?"
What people are answering is "What jobs would make for funny last names?"
SamuraiPanda201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Startup
goober1324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alphatester, Salesman, Constructor
IndieComic-Man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine'a the name of a medieval weapon so I suppose, Johnny 44Magnum.
nurb101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daisy Camwhore
Morgan Freegan
Oliver Troll
Though the most common surname would be Wageslave
linkrules2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
Rogue_Diplomacy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker
Jayrotech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:08:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I was just a small town girl, until I moved to the city. Now I don't know where my life is going. Tune in on TLC to watch me, Helen Lurmancher, in 'Rotting Away. Tonight at 9:00 (8:00 central)."
It's not really that easy.
furquizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kimberly Igmodel Kimberly vlogger Kimberly blogger
Kimberly richbecauseihadsexwithafamousceleb but you can call me Kardashian
jabulion4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"It was just an ordinary day for Thomas CustomerServiceRepresentative..."
nigeldog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SoftwareEngineer
lilchickenlittle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Mememaker
fancyfrenchtoilet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:09:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
kenjiden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am pretty sure there would be a Pepe Fourchan in the graduating class of 2023
FrostyMJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. SerialKiller
RolliPolliMolliKolli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rightswipe, Leftswiper, Trolloll, Trollface, Cat-Fishing, Yelpnut, Realhousewiffen, Fiverr
javlasvensk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Mememaker
amaxen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Grog the DBArian."
Also a lot of people would end up being named 'Codemonkey'.
Pandaburn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista.
Southyy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mortician.
SimplyNigh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I mean, Morticia is a real first name.
LetsGoBuffalo123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:10:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scuba, Steve.
MyLiesAreTruth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Camgirl's got a hit mom.
TrenchJM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reverend Harold G. Shitposter.
derpman453 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's me
Mr. Investmentdevelopmentandresearchanalyst.
rolls right off the tongue.
MrDickhead702 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John ButtStretcher
LostBaconSandwich ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:11:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bum
mementori ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Desiigner
ColonOBrien ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karaokeguy.
Thetman38 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammodel shortened to instamodel
blackrabbit2999 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:12:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grossman
Dankosario ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:13:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob the painter or Bob Paints... Bob drywall.. Bob plumber.. Bob the hooker
sophus00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Blogger, at your service
surfnsound ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McAnalyst
PM_me_your_beavah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not Sure?
BonetoneJJ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robbie Redditmoderator shrugged. Sometimes you can feel so underappreciated.
n00dol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper?
BrokeBorkLensar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Unemployed
materia321123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mediawhore.
SpoonLightning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Southsudanese
anonymous_potato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:14:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Danny Streamer here with my friend Johnny Jizzmopper...
Wangfap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
SpoonLightning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Uberdriver
SmugAndBored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gynocologist, Bloggerson
LibertysBell ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Budtender
ntw3001 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:15:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Colin Dataentrytechnician
galwegian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:16:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
CODER would be the new SMITH obvs. E.g. "You better not be fucking that Coder boy!!!"
flounder293 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
jesonnier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would apparently be Service industry.
jonahsen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone on Reddit would be "Johnny SoftwareDeveloper"
Liver_Aloan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Scuba
chambertlo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:17:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retailassociate
onehitwondur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista.. sounds exotic
Lil_Ninja94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Phillip Drugdealer. Bet that name would get him arrested quick
UnclePepe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:18:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"That dickbag Jeff Ponzi is at it again, with his "It's not a pyramid scheme, it's a wealth funnel bullshit."
Green_Bay_Fappers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salesman
nadanutcase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burgerhandler
youpeopleareannoying ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rich management type
Captain9653 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:19:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Telemarketson
PM_ME_YUR_Jigglybits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Handcock.
BeigeMonkfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim MinisterforAdministrativeAffairs
TheSuperspaan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taylor Qwerty
1dundundun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber, Gamer...
niketen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
programer
Morejazzplease ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insta-influencer
theVice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:20:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Just call me Jesse. Mr. Plug is my father."
fatumdadoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber would be a good Pick!!!!!!! Jason Youtuber
Made_in_Murica ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:21:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techman
tccrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
George Filmmaker
Kevin Designer
Ben Unemployed
Fna1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista Grande.
beqan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susie Protester
GDL8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Kruzer153Phillips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We are ignoring the thousands of (firstname) bloggers there would be
scotiannova ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:22:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stuntcock
Tenzi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. "Meme lord" Johnson
LookAsick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Matt sandwich-artist
MurderSheScrote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber, Enduser, Managerson, Codeman, Skater, Electorate, Pipelayer
Ohai_Durinez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny VapeGod
countvincent1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:23:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Macformat
supertinypenguin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Major Major Major.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
:)
bananapeel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Contractemployee.
geekgoddess21 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Masturbator
seaandtea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:24:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would you like a slightly relevant story from the Bahamas? Several years ago, a young girl was starting school. Her name was Deona. Lovely, right? On asking where she got the name from, she explained her father was the Deputy Education Officer of North Andros.
DanishWonder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Nye TheScienceGuy
WemBoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cody
caelike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Youtuber
WurdSmyth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:25:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Itee says his dad is the best computer guy ever!
seeasea ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Architect gets drinks with Jenny StructuralEngineer while Thomas CivilEngineer sulks in the corner with his just-friends Carol GeoTechnicalEngineer. Bob MEPEngineer has no friends
stripperguys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I am Aaron Nudedancer.
AgileWarmind ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Amy Polegringder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Memeson Don Redditor Natalie Blogger Chandra Stayathomestudenttakingagapyear
qwertyalpha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fenton Fullstack
BerzerkerModule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizzmopperson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:26:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Banker because you just know that most people would exchange their surname for wanker.
profusly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Most common could be Mr/Mrs.Unemployed. Or what is the rule? Does unemployed people get to have a last name?
And then there is Mr/Ms.Stuntcock. They seem to be leading a good life.
stoicsmile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:28:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would actually have the same or a similar last name. My ancestors got their surname because they burned their fields. I do prescribed fire.
TheDwarvenGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
People with last names like "Broker" and "Shareholder" would get all the ladies.
addisonshinedown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jacob Frycook
vanillabee3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kids wouldn't have to be lazy/forgetful to call me Ms. Teacher anymore.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be Deskbitch. Not ok.
every1needsatoaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:29:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ben shook his head. He'd been rejected, again, for a surname change application. All he wanted was a moment's peace: a time where he can introduce himself without that reaction - the disapproval with just a hint of revulsion. One can only take so much rejection.
So, for the fourth time, he trudged into the city offices and patiently waited for assistance. Knowing that, in order to make this change possible, he would have to again introduce himself and utter that hated surname: "Hi, I'm Ben Collections."
Gigibop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Larry Cableguy
nmoney000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Mr. Engineer
Chubacubawamba ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name is Specialist...Richard Specialist. That's right ๐
beastsarebored ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger, Gamer, Startuper, Sitarounder, Dontdomuchofnothing-er, Masturbator
FallofftheMap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:30:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm John Dole. I'm calling because I have not received my benefits check this month.
LightAnubis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello Mr. RentACop
blixt141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:32:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grifter.
SpacemanBatman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rockgod
Wnir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doulaman
Hornswaggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hauler
Driver
Checker
Stocker
Typer
Caller
Assistor
Admin
Coder
Fixer
Operator
HoodrowKillson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:37:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Ladies and Gentlemen, let me say what an honor it is to be here at the groundbreaking ceremony for the Alfred P. Jizzmopper Hall of Anatomical Photography Studies. Now lets log in with our MuskVisors and watch as Dean Twerkings delivers the commencement tweet!"
Blujayz90 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trashman
airawear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:38:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Pornstar
Spooty03 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a consultant. Nothing fun comes to mind.
pacg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:39:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A warm welcome to Mr. and Mrs. Coderson.
A_Friendly_Robot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Pornstar...
Spugnacious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:40:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi there, I'm Mr. Boxtroll.
(That's my actual title.)
BuddhistNudist987 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A man who uses complex algorithms to create perfect human DNA would be named Gene Hackman.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:42:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marketer.
I_Like_Hoots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That's MR. Instagramhoe to you!
djurassicpark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl.
Nancy Camgirl
BrockenSpecter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:45:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Technician
jerkstore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tumblrina Snowflake
healer2b ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:47:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Nightstocker working the third shift at Walmart.
waywardwoodwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager.
Buneary100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:48:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy who helps pull people up a rock wall at a camp. Coincidentally his last name is climber, spelled in a fancy way.
citizenmedia101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A lot of people named OP
xDarkWulfx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Belinda Makeupartist had lost hope. This girl is never going to be pretty. Now how can you let her down....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:49:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jobless
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder. Tom Coder
Levicorpyutani ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intern.
MilkCarton78 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:51:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zorp Automation
rangeo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mouseclicker
loganwm97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Dildomaker
ProvokedGolem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:53:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gynecologist
sepulturero1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:55:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about Mary Hooker
Gargatua13013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker.
NeonBird ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techsmith Admins Researcher Presidents Executives Droid Applebuilder Vlogman Teknishan Gamesmanship
jademau5x ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 01:56:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Networkmarketer, or just Mrs. Marketer sounds like an actual surname
OldBoris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boris Actor/Director/Model/Musician
Baecooon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:00:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
shitposter
flanS0L0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:03:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social media influencer
hulkhands81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy on workers comp so he would be Joe Slipnfall?
I'm going with johnny gyno
Chang_Diesel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitkicker
Charliethebrit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:04:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
scroller
kairon156 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:06:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech, Mechanic, Engineer
Sponsored_content1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:08:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My wife and would be Mr. and Mrs. Spreadsheet-Planner.
0xD153A53 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Barista"
SpenceOrSpencer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:09:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Dishwasher. Joe Videoessayist. Stephanie Unemployablemillenial.
LosSpursFan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr John Doctor
Ventrilofist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter?
rituals2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:11:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Homemaker
howling-fantod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:12:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
Fascist_Regime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:13:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Twitchstreamer
gigapudding43201 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:14:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Person mcpersonface
gogglygoh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Van Driver
greevous00 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer
CineCine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:16:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reminds me of the book "Jennifer Government"
bagoong1322 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Electric
Snowwyflake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:17:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Procrastinator
Hint: (DICK)
amoore2600 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:18:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My sur name would be Unixadm.
afronicus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Alfred McInternet...
gonzo8710 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:19:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT
AdvocateSaint ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter / Tweeter.
For those who run the company's official social media accounts.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steven Unemployed
1makfly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Erin Blogovich (SEO copywriter)
alihassan9193 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John memer was proud of his ancestors
dracoleo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer, Jack Programmer.
kartracer24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liberalartsdegree
headytopper10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Christopher Dronestriker
Ultmagnus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
shameerc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:21:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Garry DevOps
Jaxondawg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:22:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John wanker
Datathrash ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Travis Fapper for County Coroner 2021
"Imma get down 2 it fam!"
all_is_temporary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shill
Theycallmelizardboy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David YouTuber
dinglepumpkin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Designer. Engineer. Maker. Blogger.
lousyname ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:23:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamerson.
WanderingSwampBeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joey pornstar
house_atreus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Spy, James Spy.
Tconzz22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
App, blogger,
OutofPlaceOneLiner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:24:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memes
Lokiimp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A teacher at my elementary schools last name was Drinkwine.
Ccaves0127 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
General Goatbanger
Annapurna317 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:25:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trustfund, Xavier Trustfund.
hamman91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:26:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Youtuber
SalesAutopsy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Butbleacher was excited about his new career.
gamemasterflex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst.
Mr. and Mrs. Analyst.
Brandanp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Texter, hipster, gainz
simchat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumslut
Darvos83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Teacherson was sick and tired of everyone making fun of his father in class.
LukeTango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:27:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitcher, Gamesmith, Streamcock, Youtson, Fuccboiton
ghotiaroma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:28:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Truckdriver
Babelscattered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paging Mr. Hacker...
jewjewbeeswuztaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John CustomerServiceRep
aonair72 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laborer, Garbageman, cableman, of course man is pronounced mun. Roofer. Landscaper. Policeman. Receptionist. Salesman. Flightattendant. Nerd. Gamer. (Kinda like that one)
ghotiaroma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ashley Moonshine Trimmigrant
DeviantDivega ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey, this is Jeff Corporateasshole.
DAIKIRAI_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:29:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Stuntdick.
nomereeyeball ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:30:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buttstarsofinstagram
ghotiaroma ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Bigboote
DorsalMorsel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:31:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Say hi to my buddy Sage Homegrowsweed
Leberkleister13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Pogeys.
ktam004 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Boaty McBoatface. Pleased to meet you.
CTlegion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My buddy who's last name is shoemaker differently spelled.
Weekend_Squire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm sure the initials EBT would be very popular.
queenkatebishop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:32:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bilbo bloggins
Jim streamer
John twitchman
Dr. Doc doctorman
George tubermann
Eric edglordman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snow ...
PomegranatePlanet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech.
sosnazzy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hi i'm mr. english major nice to meet you
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So, Eileen Fluffer - I see you're going out with my Henry...
dickiebow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Jane Realitytvstarwithnorealtalent
smutsmutsmut ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammodel
Beadrilll ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:33:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Winship, so does that mean my ancestors were pirates?
puss_parkerswidow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmmmm... interesting. I just met a guy with your last name. Common first name, spelled unusually? No worries, don't know you,and not evil... but if you're him, we met recently and briefly, and he made a favorable impression as a decent human.
Cow_Gaming ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, Bobby Gamer has achieved a new world record in COD Advanced Advanced Advanced Warfare 33! Best score in the year of 2474 in any game!
teXupport ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pentester. Barista. Stuntman.
stjack99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:34:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Didya Rebootit
jamongmongi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Why hello there, Anne Multilevelmarketer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nathaniel SoundCloudrapper
Minstrel47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Retail, Stocker, Camgirl.
roamingspirit98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"We'll name him after your grandfather. Johnny Sins Pornstar, its a strong name."
i_bent_my_wookiee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:35:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Would-You-Like-Fries-With-That-er
thekraken_awakes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There are some real elaborate job titles out there which would be strange as names:
Mr. Wastedisposaltechnician Ms. SoftwareArchitect
z0nbie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In this day and age I'm not sure if I should keep the long standing last name "White" or change it to "Grocerymanager"...
cutclose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger.
klingers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm John Influencer."
randomassdude89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:37:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL that's how last names were created. ๐
amopdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sahm (stay at home mom) or Sahmson :)
mextremist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:38:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Gamer is fucking awesome doe
Sublimefly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Powercycleit...
nobodyhere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker, Gamer, Uber, Tagger, Mugger.
amopdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammer
KitaShika ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Image it:
Hi, I'm Steve Therapist.
beerisdead ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salesman
QuantumDrake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:39:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would like to introduce you all to Mr. and Mrs. Instagrammodel
eurojax ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:40:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carpenterson and Therapistson sound great.
boonjo01 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Guitar was tired of leading the band...
A_Tattooed_Biker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susan Camwhore, at your service.
skaduush ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Entrepreneur
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:41:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A prostitute.
"Hi, I'm John. John Whoreson."
Naeture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. And Ms. Welfare would be everywhere!
ktkps ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McCoder
ddblades ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:42:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dole or Benifits ...
premfenderz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Cindy Whore?
elkhorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:43:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Therapist.
TashaLee71 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yogini, as in a yoga instructor....
usuyukisou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mine: Headhunter.
johntmeche3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Coder
VraskaTheCursed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:44:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
It's the year 2250, and Raj is sweating nervously right before his first job interview.
The interviewer arrives and takes a seat directly across from Raj, laying a resume across the wooden desk and adjusting his square-dimmed glasses.
"Your resume looks good. Prior experience, degree from a prestigious institute,..."
Raj nods carefully, surprised at how well the interview started.
"We just have one problem. Your last name. How do you pronounce it? I'd like to say your name properly before I hire you."
Raj develops the courage to speak. "Um. It's..."-he sighs- "Randomimmigrantfromindiawhophishednaiveamericansbeforeforegoinghisevilwaysandsettlingdownintheitfield."
box77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, I'm John Engineer
-G-A-R-D-E-N-E-R- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:45:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Surety-peon
SoundOfOneHand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:46:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Customerservicerepson. You may kiss the bride.
mrmentalz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burt longdickingirl
Randomhero204 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:47:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suzie Browser
Frank Shitposter
Johnny McDankmeme
Eric .gifmaker
jdff6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intern
phenry1110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susan Fluffer.
nlpnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How "today's" are we talking? Would there be a big split in the Programmer family on whether to switch to Coder or keep the existing name?
jquinn22 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer, Coder
Maybe_Not_The_Pope ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I feel like the new version of Smith would be 'Unemployed'
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Handcock
drteq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
talliepie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm Steve Unemployablegraduate
NoRefundsOnlyLobster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi my name is Joseph Betweenjobs
Summerclaw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:50:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kelly Blogger
Weifinsd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Giffer for the good guys on /r/HighQualityGifs
Broken1985 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:51:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google.
Iretai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Baby-Daddy
Minimum-Wage-Employee
Student
Smuggler
Weed-Seller
NoonSaTae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:52:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Micheal and Jenny Pornstar
bigredm88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is George Fluffer George Moneyshooter Amber analproffesional
ShakaBruddha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr Feelhersnatch
pm_me_menstrual_art ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I work at a forge so... mr hotstuff?
swank5000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:53:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Daytrader
cardinals1996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Sandwichartist, he comes from a long line of artisan sandwich crafters.
luwakwhitecoffee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joshua TravelAgent
charles-gnarwin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Midgar-Zolom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:54:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bongseller. Except that using my banner inside the shop will get you kicked out.
sherwin_v ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How about Tuber, as in Casey Tuber.
ultimatedebate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yolo blogger foodie-vegatarian
Myzyri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:55:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, let's see...
Frank Momsbasementdweller
Tony Entitlementprogram
George Lifecoach
Donny Daytrader-Poorhouse
Mona Doulamidwifetreehugger
Peter Professionalprotester
Bobby Blogger
Yolanda Youtuber
Betsy Etsy
Adnannicetomeetyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unhembloyd
Jfost29 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:56:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well my generic job title is business analyst. So maybe my last name could be shortened to Anal?
travellers_soull ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Officer
TitaniumDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meg Browser - for someone whose job is in gathering information from the Internet.
Mark Collider - for a physicist working on a particle accellerator.
Johnny Anonymous - Cryptographer.
Nicolas Stars - Astronomer
Yuri Cosmos - Cosmonaut
Virginia Hacker - Hacker
Louis Decker - Professional card player, or hacker, or maybe Rihanna's kid.
Terrance Tech - Pretty broad number of technican or technical jobs.
Laurence Motors - Car mechanic
Bobby Marine - Marine
Tom Navy - Admiral
Reggi Underwriter - Risk analyst.
Nate Stats - Statician.
Albastru_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:57:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Hooker.
tyled ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Draftbeir
nickyobro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laserdiodemagician
3asin3speech ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Chen-Jin Optimizer
hardik_pnp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:58:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Singer, Programmer, Entrepreneur, Ticket checker, Driver, Astronaut, Engineer, Mechanic... And more !
Hecklegregory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spreadsheet
aukir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you do, Mr Sequel?
Jdalton4000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Druggie, Nazi, Bootlicker, Twitterjerk, Troll, Backstabber and Asshole come to mind.
YES, these are professions! Just watch the current administration and FOX news to see all of them.
cuckingfomputer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
Pronounced May-may-er.
AnonymousAdam555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Viner
decorama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:59:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, Weber
Crow_eggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I like to think you'd also get any academic credentials as a middle name. Like Jeremiah Emphil Sandwich-artist.
jcpearce ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:00:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, I'm Mr. Policemanofficer.
sampoule ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer hahahaha
Rsubs33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultant
Jbrizown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:01:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Uber
TM_64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickhead
Jack_nieker ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram model
ronisolomondds ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:02:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Keyholder. Mixologist. Spotify-DJ.
Edyeddie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mailman in Spanish would be Cartero
Brilla3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper?
IAmDrinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm late, but would that mean pornstars have the last name "Fucker"?
MadViolinist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Internson.
rollDeezStones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beancount
Auditor
SeanIsWinning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:03:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memesmith
thealrightdude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instamodel
CharlesChrist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deborah Developer
frothface ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinbot
DEVOmay97 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny techsupport
Haylyn221 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I'm Gary Hooker."
brucee10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Couch. My ancestors must have been very lazy.
Hippiehairkelly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Oh, look! It's Johnny SmallbeercraftIPAbrewer!"
J_Schermie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:04:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter
winfong1803 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Twit
The_Good_Count ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:05:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freelancer
Oneil1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Autotune
binrajachulan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor Professorson.
penatbater ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joseph D'Memer
13ANANAFISH ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
El5toJinete ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:06:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shitposter.
akamustacherides ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memestein
goldenmirrors ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Internship Family
i_dreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
i_dreddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitcher
postExistence ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:07:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codington, Telemarkslea, Cable, Camming, Copper, and Streamerson.
mindmolestor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
Cmgeodude ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a database specialist at a non profit. So...
Poordataspec?
silvertail8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Big_Ol_Twinkle_Toes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:08:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Un.. (as in unemployed)
SteeezyE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Honey, have you met the Baristas that moved in next door?"
Yes, and they didn't even offer me a latte.
Rocktamus1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Frieswiththat
Stryker021 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Can I see Mr. Memer please?"
SweetD117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Protestor.
goplayer7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder.
ipottersmith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:09:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Barista
sauerpatchkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aisleblocker.
BrickGun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skylar Tinderer
Paulthefith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Francis cableguy
ZeldaLuvr503 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Real
ivanttobealone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:10:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socialite
Essential Oil Peddler
lucipherius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dankmemerson
Onlyhereforthelaughs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Laurence Cableman.
jimmythegeek1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jordan Fluffer
rdldr1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've met an IT professional whose last name is Sieber. It was destiny for him.
aeonstorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Indebt. Because everything college student fucking is.
potatofeathers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You may all refer to me as Mrs. Manager, thank you.
Hello_I_am_Jesus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Gynecologist, James Gynecologist"
floppypillow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald
-steamboatwilly- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:11:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Jack Gunner"?
tigerinhouston ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weber
Spyderdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Grifter would be a Trump
TexasWithADollarsign ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Risotto Groupon
callmesnake13 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:12:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apptweaker, Ubersidejob, Barback, Barrista, Serviceagent, Manager, Dogwalker, Waiter, Intern
KinnieBee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffrey Coder, of Coder and Coder Law.
Gooners_AZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sancho.
juanpontoon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker.
PieIsALie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Etsy
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. instaexcerciser
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizzmopper
TomtheWonderDog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camwhore?
Vinedouche?
wubbalubdubnigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber
pepperonisundae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:13:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
TheUltraMerchant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker.
DefiantLemur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. John Doctor
WheresTimmy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peters?
HiaQueu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Bearddis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
How do you do, William Sales-Associate, pleased to make your acquaintance.
afc_nyr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:14:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Accountantberg
Tatux007 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech
quede131 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Heffelfinger
MJBalls81 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lobbyist
ghohneke ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagrammer
Topabli ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:15:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Watch your manners, Johnny Dabber"
TheOriginalNovotny ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Asshole, though it isn't really a profession as much as it is a hobby. But it would be the most common surname to be sure.
Verdris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twit.
swordsandshields ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Officebitch
drjd24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:16:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name would be something along the lines of Jordan Saladprepper, or Labourer
Ogdoublesampson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every teacher would be Mr/Ms teacher
Optimistic_Nihilist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:17:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales Associate?
OscarTangoIndiaMike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homeless? Unemployed? Welfare? Top three that come to my mind.
/s
jedruch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:18:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trolly McTrollface
Suhn-Sol-Jashin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Todd Brew
iTzElboWw ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caity Vlogger
Apathetic_Zealot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:20:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Fluffer
Darth_Bisquick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Has memelord been said already? If not, I'm claiming it.
caboose1835 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I see someones read Jennifer Government
thegreatmango ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customer Service Associate.
SullenTerror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber
Iamgoingtooffendyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:21:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Walmart
Lordofm3m3s ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Minimum wage.
Raptors_King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:22:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The real question is what where those Hancocks up to.
eoghan_og ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Mr. Mac. This is my brother Mr. Windows. That's my Uncle Redhat. He's a bit odd.
evilheartmotel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officer could be interesting.
Christian Officer.
TheSentinelsSorrow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
royalarsewiper
urs1ne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Weber
blaghart ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:23:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I imagine Cosplayer and Youtuber would be unusually common
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jaime Bingwatcher
nikniuq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freeloader. Martin Freeloader.
patrickmanning1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Welfare recipient" would be pretty popular.
Iamgoingtooffendyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Miss Catwrangler.
Nemam11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
All the creative names are awesome. But one of the most important ones would be lazyfuck. Its more a middle name though, john lazyfuck Smith
buttegg ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, Hooker is already a surname.
redbaronslair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sanitary Engineer.
Trashmanson. Marilyn (trash)Manson. Charles (trash)Manson.
freshwafflefries ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harambe Meme Readitor
28_Cakedays_Later ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:24:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver
Lecterman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Sysadmin
joc95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:25:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OP, what are you talking about? I already do that. "Barista, get me a coffee". "Assistant, clear my schedule" "Intern, go get this for me"
Atrainlan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Barista
ScottBascom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend who got their root canal done by a Dr. Borer. Seems appropriate.
Injoker1993 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soshul M. Influencia
pooky94 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:26:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Selfentitledasshole
steak4take ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald J Buffoon. Donald Buffoon Junior.
pug_fugly_moe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ctrl+f: ...
Fluffer
youfocusmelotus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Siessar
junky_man ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:27:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Social Media Influencer
FistfulOfDirkys ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer, James Fluffer
petergiovanni ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Woodersun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Livestreamer
_zydrate_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:28:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
nicociva ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PC Principleton because isn't that everyone's job nowadays?
Mr_mnemonic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:29:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter, Foodstamp.
Ep1cM47TH3W ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
revonrat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My Native American name would be "Yells at PM".
hippienerd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord.
futurejae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname is Song, which isn't an English surname but incidentally I'm a musician.
Napoleon99563 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:30:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Hermit_Kidd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Youtube
randersizl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Construction Worker
SuperSecretMoonBase ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please... Mr. Facelesscoginthemachine was my father...
ElectricFleshlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:31:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Gradual_Bro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coochiewaxer
ItzPabz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:32:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonalds Worker
Your_Old_Pal_Hunter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployable
longballzlarry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:33:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frycook
Questtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gyno.
Catgurl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer, banker, doctor, consult-or
the_river_nihil ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:34:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm Sydney Solderson, of the clan Wire-Fish!
jaggedcream ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter. My wife is a social media manager...Megan Twitter
DBJ99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah Whore..
VulturE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
luser
Rock-Keits ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes hello Ms Employer, my name is Mr Accountant, and this is my younger brother, Mr. Uselessdegree.
WizardofSorts ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would love to be Mr. Magician.
ogjapanman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:35:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phil Photoshopman
thefourohfour ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harry Anonymous
MarmaladePal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:36:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper
wiggilez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave dissemination
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:37:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Becky Whore
Voyager5555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intern
NoNewsNetwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Out here in Utah there would be a bunch of Photographers and Socialmediamarketers
insomniacDad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Automation
Vipre7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
North West Farmer. Saint West Butcher.
Jenilson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hancock
PulpiestFictionist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:38:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Petsitter Dogwalker Detective Bartender Sommelier Scientist Engineer
acetominaphin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mr. LoePadeServisWerk
evilcarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:39:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seasonal or TenNinetyNined
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter
rinarey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
hat-of-sky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker Fourchan.
andregaboriau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:40:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Doctor
aphropha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeologist
melizzaryan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Larry the Cable Guy
linvmiami ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Brock_Samsonite ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tweeter, Hashtag, or Driver
miammi5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:41:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagram Model
SULax41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Douchebag
jennyferjo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fuckboi
REdEnt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Intern
pabloheadasso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:42:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper. Hi my name is Iama Stripper.
quinsexy69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psychologer
quinsexy69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Psychologer
HandsomeFetus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:43:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retail
bisonrosary ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob L. Pornhub
vibeout_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:44:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I had a friend in high school whose last name is Hooker..
decr0ded ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fullstack
Sindibadass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. & Mrs. Fluffer
Kraymur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Commerical Chicken Killer.
WilfredWells42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Op
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:45:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Zhuang iPhone-Mak'er
Olorin_in_the_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstarson
koolaidman47 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:46:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Taquon Marshall play his heart out
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. 4Chan
nebuchadrezzar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Josh discouragedworkerwhoisnolongercountedaspartofthelaborforceandthereforekeepsunenploymentnumbersartificiallylow.
Also, McDonald's.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Ms. Burgerflipper, and their family of little flippets.
Olorin_in_the_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Admistrativeassistantson
7passivepandas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:47:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cashier
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:48:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
-Pluvio- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retailer.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Annoying fucking door salesman.
breachgnome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I bought a car from a salesman named Swindler.
So there's that.
JBorAX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Excel. He looks at number filled squares all day, it has nothing to do with his level of achievement.
nervousnell89 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger.
j4jackj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Officier, someone who works in an office
Meatmonger, for fast food
die Musik, please correct me but i think it's German for 'the music', possible dynasty of metalheads
and almost per /u/Monkeypanis, Wagonner/Wagner, Carrier, Chauffeur/Chauffeuse
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:49:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dan Engineer.
Dan Amazon Affiliate Links.
Dan Entrepreneur.
Dan CamGirl.
Dan Youtube Celebrity.
Dan Blogger.
Dan Administrative Assistant.
Dan Tech Support.
Dan Etsy.
In the not too distant future:
Dan Welfare.
Dan Basic Income.
_Babby_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Casher, like a cashier ex: John Casher, Devin Casher Sarah Casher
GoogleIsYourFrenemy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
No that's Mr. Chairwoman.
NathanDSupertramp ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:50:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liberal, Googler, Colleger, Gamer, Fat-ass-who-doesnt-have-a-job, etc.
NotTheBomber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Yeah, I come from a real blue blood family in New York, we practically own several countries"
"Dude, I've seen your license, your name is Johnny Ditchdigger"
hahaha01357 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Pimp
weiknarf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
KamiIsHate0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
i like "Jhon Shitposter"
zenverak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:51:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitue
a11u1a ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Shitposter
franticshouting ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Founder
cbizzle31 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
**
stryk187 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whore.
funkmasterbean ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:52:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name would be Sniff instead of Smith
M8k3sn0s3ns3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everybody forgetin customer-service.
3percenter1776 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Failure kinda has a ring to it
Olorin_in_the_West ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:53:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gameshowhostson
Backgroundancerson
Basketballrefereeson
Purple82Hue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. IT guy, Mr. Waiter, Mr. Security Guard, Mr. Uber driver --- or Ms. or Mrs. don't get ur panties in a bunch.
jackobox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:54:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Slave. Mr Corporate Slave.
ComradeStrange ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Willevene Tweeter
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:55:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mememaker
kristopho ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Akula
SixteenBeatsAOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kardashian.
Dyolf_Knip ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dyolf K. Codemonkey.
aluminiumpigeon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Damo dollbludger
yogaflame1337 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Dotcoms
Atraidis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:57:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google
2fly2hyde ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Junkie
MsABQ323 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
jjconstantine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm an artist of many media... I could be Mr Brushfondler, Mr Lensaimer, Mr Sine, Mr Throatsound, Mr Shademaker, etc.
rockeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A book I've read (Grass, by Sherri Tepper) had a character called Sebastian Mechanic. He was a carpenter.
HorribleOldWoman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:59:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I knew a man who worked at a chicken processing plant whose job title was Lung and Gonad Sucker.
OPneedNerfs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Hackerman
MichaelRM ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:00:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbator
apomares23 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ricky Trickvapesmokeblower
urbanek2525 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:01:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be David Coder. Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?
AuntYam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uberdriver
tristantroup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:02:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Manager
Formally_Nightman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
AssholeBanker
beerandacurry ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Server. And cynically, Welfare.
drunky_crowette ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. I'm Drunky RetailSlave-Barista-Hostess-Server-Baker.
Meet my boyfriend, Boyfriend Chef-KitchenManager.
This is my sister, Sister Model-Seamstress-LiveStatue-CraftTeacher.
Or my other sister, Sister RecentlyUnemployedBecauseFuckACertainMusicStreamingService.
Or my dad, Dad WornOutDoctor.
Or mom, Mom AssetProtectionManager.
BRAINGLOVE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeffrey Entrepeneur
Cydanix ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:03:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Felix Yutuba
ExrThorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And now I feel the need to change my last name to Engineer. Thanks guys. >.>
Six_String_Reshi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masturbateroncamera, takepicturesforotherstodroolover, fingerpumellerintoglassscreen, typist, yelleratpeoplewithoutknowingfullywhy, angerbag, selftaughtamateurdebater, idiot, finesse, Carl
joh2141 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What's the job that makes you swim like 10 feet deep in a pool of shit?
theEluminator ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Research and Development Strategic Coordinator
melesana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Conlang - people who construct languages.
wootlesthegoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is Mather, but I'm assured its not because we used to do mathematics.
BRAINGLOVE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:04:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Devante Parkour
FeelingLiquorish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagramhoe
Lima__Fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Mr. Deebeyay. Maybe Mr. Coder?
wild_starlight ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
WhyNoLoveForManix2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:05:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minimumwagemakingfastfoodclerk
irontan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
Samuellie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
year 2517 marks the 500th anniversary of Tom Gaymer; inspiring gay rights activist and monumental gaming visionary, he will be missed and his achievements never forgotten
dayglo98 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bloggerton
betenoire_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:06:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thanks for the new 'dystopian-future character naming systemโข' for the novel I'll never write.
Demon_Prongles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:07:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Technician, engineer, IT, physicist, and a bunch of other few a little awkward. Maybe Stem? Stemmer?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bobby Socialmediamanager
KaneCarnage ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:08:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech ?
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doolittle
Astroman129 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Armchair-Psychologist
That420King ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Soundcloud
phithera ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imagine explaining to your parents why you've changed your surname to Clothesoff
DasLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:09:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thumbscroll lol
mermaidsthrowaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband used to be a Case Picker. Now he is a Refrigerator Parts Assembler. Those would weird ass names.
ManifestEvolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Herman Shitpumper
Burning_Zero ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:10:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DogFoodTaster
DasLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:11:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memesmith lol
fretit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:12:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freeloader
iSeize ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:13:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Electrician, John Sparky
Eboo143 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John W Governmentassistance
SurrealSam ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cecil CharteredAccountant John Cop Bill FBI Linda Barista Sam Homeless
shortyman93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a good buddy whose last name is legitimately Liberator.
intersectv3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sextape.
mermaidmegss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
joe sextoytester
DAVasquez- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:14:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:15:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Likeandsubscribe
DasLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:16:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
FitzTriggered
DasLizard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thumbscroll lol
Fubar_The_Sheep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme, Vapelord, trash, aesthetic, basic.
Kayki7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass-wiper
YYCDavid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vivian Petpsychic was considered a laughing stock by many, but the sheep knew she was the one ray of hope that one day the truth of their plight would be known to all.
whiteypoints ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:17:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can't believe nobody has mentioned Dr. Pitsniffer
Kayki7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
agreatcoat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Clientdatamanagementsupervisor
Mekkah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Computer.
WoodenUknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I know a guy that did exactly this, changed his name to Cardriver.
JussAYoungMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:18:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trailer park supervisor
TearsOfLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is kyle uberson/ devson/ unemployed-by-sustained-by-ramen-and-my-hopes-of-becoming-an-actor-son
Arcade42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:19:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hopefully.mine is never popularized.
Hi Joshua LogisticalPlanner
might_not_be_a_dog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Duncan has a surprisingly relevant name.
cancerous_176 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:21:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer David programmer
brockodilus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:22:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm in the water purification industry and my Native customers call me Chief Running Water.
Foo9toninetyfinety ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Soon it will be: Eunice Universalbasicincome Renee Robotech S. M. Foodservice
The_0bserver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Name's WebDev. Johnnie Webdev...
Jomaloro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:23:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Meme? Or Mr. Memer?
I_am_jacks_reddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:24:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista
andi9x17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer.....
_as_you_wish_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Code, Leet, Banks, Teacher, Driver, Guard, Janitor, Server
HellaFella420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Gamer"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cook
SubmarineCouch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:26:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twerker
thinmonkey69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:27:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miles Millennialson
Phil_Drill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:29:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Customer Service Representative
-Ark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TIL...
kellymcneill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jackman
wolfbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:30:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny digitalnomad
wolfbear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:31:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Margaret Influencer
sofa-king-chill ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:32:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Salesman
whotaketh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployman
kishimakoumaa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
420bootywizard
ippoq ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
mr. Youtuber
PsychMarketing ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:33:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Carl Streamer
J_Jammer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollson
puphenstuff ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael D. Blackman?
MixBeltersAnon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jenny Blogger
jitterbug726 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme
Mr-MASSIVE1492 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT guy
Pizzaloverallday ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:34:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have images of Codsworth saying all of those names you could choose.
gdan95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:35:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Letsplayer
tekhnomancer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:36:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gamer. But I still have questions I need to ask the Dickinson's.
SerNapalm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
So mr perpetuallyunemployed would be a name? Ms invalid? Old man crazyhobo or Mr welfare?
Charsatan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:38:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rockstar
thetreadmilldesk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Professor
LeftyMode ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:39:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer.
angeliswastaken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme
Neet
Kony2012
__irresponsible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:40:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This, of course, would be terribly confusing; you would always have the same last name all your coworkers.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:41:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Divorcedwife
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Mr. Panhandler. "
"Here."
The_1st_Name_I_Chose ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:44:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
PM_me_fake_Jewsplz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Penetration Tester
InspiringShitpost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shiller
Stillwindows95 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:45:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
'Watcher' 'reader' and 'eater' come to mind.
Then maybe trollsworth, jobsworth, and vain.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Operative.
Absol1234 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper
gm50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:46:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson...
ker0ker0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:47:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
tweeter, tweeterson
playr_4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:48:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger.
Shaved_Knuckle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ranger
VirgieSu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brogrammer, Programer, Analyst, Manager
vanillamasala ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Fuckboy ?
WetWired ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:49:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
cutelyaware ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Catwrangler
BirdyTheBirdman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Cashier family. Followed by The Cashierson family.
Synchro_Shoukan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Shiftlead, keyholder, service-associate, driver?
stoutyteapot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:50:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Salesdouche
iamnotdrake ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer.
kabukistar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:51:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Blogger.
-Concept- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"emoji translator"
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:52:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
J.C Dentist.
Glemt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Blogger
The_Expensive_Lemon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:53:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cocksucker
CyberneticPanda ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jacob Camwhore!
ship0f ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fullstackerson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:54:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Almost everyone would be named Wanker, which could lead to a pretty cool egalitarian society.
tetronic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jacob Welfareman
Hungryforfood2000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:55:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Secretary, Madam Secretary.
Mr. Salesman
Mr. Facebook
katiopeia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Accountantson Melanie Distributor Wentworth Designerston Larry Chiefexecutiveson Nina Illustrator Daniel Marketington
fractalfellow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:56:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Websmith, ABtestson, codeninjaunicornson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Revengeporn, a man with emotional baggage.
Fenderboy771 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Joe Youtubereviewer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:57:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Richard Twitch
patb2015 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
coder.
temalyen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Turnitoffandonagain ?
fretit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollmaster
Jamkru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
Lenlark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:58:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John welfare.
cumshmear ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Betweenjobs
DrewGeorge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Podcaster.
Tim Tweeter.
farts_are_hilarious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme.
fretit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:59:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Selffson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer, Advertiser...lol.
spacely_sprocket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Projectmanagerson
Fonzi2013 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TheScienceGuy
Betruul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The trades- Framer, builder (Sheet)Rocker.. Racist words for mexicans... Welder Fab(rication) Electrician, Sparky, Asshole Concrete, Crete, Stonepour Plumber, Piper, Shitswimmer, toothless
colebodyknows ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Allcock
ANerdyGamer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
whatever-she-said ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:00:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Call-centre-agent
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Carpenter!
Hold on wait I wanna change my answer
justking14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
PresidentJerker. The surname of everyone who works at Fox News
B_Stone808 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suie Pig Jr.
Edit Cop
MedschoolgirlMadison ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hipster. Maybe Klaus Hispter should consider grooming his facial hair, it's total pubey catastrophe.
PM_ME_OR_PM_ME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Q. Critic.
nostalgya ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:01:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Harold "The Ponz" Ponzirelli
won74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
eSportsPlayer
ProCSGO
HolyShitzurei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Choccywoccydoodah.
XxDeathshadoxX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:02:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, David Unemployed!
fretit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waitactor
Doo-Doo-Manjaro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Eobard Tweeter
Sarenja ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:03:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Awarenessraiser
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Webtroll
_shreb_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ho. Oh wait, that's Asian
c3534l ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:04:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Leslie Letsplayer
Nikki Famousfornogoodreason
Maria Donkeyshow
Theodore Trustfunder
Cindy Stripper (this sounds like it's a name already)
Janice Janitor
Jack Jackshackmopper
Buddy Budtender
Patty Paroleofficer
Manny Mechanic
Apsco60 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smokes
FunctionBuilt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
AttackOfTheThumbs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:05:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname is father's name + son
Think of the dumbest first names you can. Chadson. Kevinson. Travisson. And these aren't even unusual names, just shitty ones.
tm00110 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:06:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
solemnversifier ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Redditor (Well, someone had to say it...)
logicblocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joseph Coder.
notamexicanracehorse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ASMRtist
Hi I'm Cynthia ASMRtist, my great grandfather whispered weird shit into binaural microphones and tried to help them get tingles.
2Lumpy2Stump ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:07:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Craig Tromboner
Skrivus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:08:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
CookiemonsterDK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Bob Key Account Manager
dannyboy1101 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Hacker
Umutuku ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:09:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James T. Coder
Lars A. Trustfundersonn
Katie B. Instahoegarth
Thaddeus Alisha Offendamedia-Triggerstein
Cletus G. R. D. Statueguard
Alfred Lenin Tippsabin'n'burnit
John Texas Scubaranch
Nicola Lookmanohands-Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
Kyle Dopin'sprint
Helena Hellinacell
Marvey Memesley
Adam Quincy Robokeeper
Steven Preventalosso
Neil Orbitsol
Charlie Oopsidroppedmyheadset-Hi'Eim
Jennifer Addmetradeskin
taruntejae ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:10:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, I am Johnny Student"
mcraneschair ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
Ekert ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:11:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Uber van Driver
Johnny Cashier
Johnny Yelper
STROOQ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Adam Gamer
Melissa Troll
Kappa-Spock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lawyer. Henry Lawyer.
getkaizer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:12:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst, Networker
Sojoez ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:13:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Good day, my name is Simon Shitposter!
_its_a_SWEATER_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mememaker.
cpn_lightning_bolt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Nadante ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:14:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Fluffer
Michael Blogger
Tom Footballer
Richard Streamer
Nathan Techie
Annette Talkinghead
Unfortunate_Dildo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lazyassfreeloader
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codey
timmyhawkins3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Codey?
Gorehog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jon Technician
Liz Handyman
Janice Coder
Erik Administrator
Mark Plumber
Susan Electric
Tommy Computer
Stephen Webpage
Kim Dotcom
BecauseZeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:15:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welder
thedvorakian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Appman
cobra7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollhunter. Luke Trollhunter.
Flying_noodle_dicks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:16:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
And thus house Aspdotnetdeveloper was born!
Random-Mutant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Basement Lipworth Incel, The Defeated
fbeck1969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dueshbagboss
TheFiredrake42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:17:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Herper (works with reptiles)
Johnathan Tuber (is a YouTube star)
Johnathan Dispenser (lives in Colorado)
Johnathan Solder (makes microchips)
Johnathan Fapson (His dad got lucky. Once.)
summerfr33ze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:18:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John FailingMusicCareer-UberDriver
WoodenJellyFountain ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Munger
supermodel-robot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
selfemployed
thismessisaplace ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Depression
Halfcaste_brown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:19:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Redditor, you may now kiss your husband.
Fellhuhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John McCodemonkey.
aye_edgar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
are those fidget spinners a profession? fidget?
Fellhuhn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:20:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sir Spamalot.
ShrimpWiggle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Content
delicious_tomato ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:21:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob FiredForInsubordinance is bound to be a thing.
Also, Kim DotCom's kids are FUCKED.
cherious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:22:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
From the medical domain we'd have ENTer and GEer
xynxia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benefit-Thief
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:23:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"...yes, and this is my daughter, Daenerys Basicrenter"
Someone, 2045
HeadBodyMaster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer, Actor, Unemployed
beefyesquire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
railroadspike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Samuel SandwhichArtist
dlsco ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:24:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dongpuller
dwarmia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John EconomyKiller of Micheal AvocadoToaster
KapiHeartlilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:25:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar, mr pornstar has a good flow to it.
Harvey__Denture ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vinestar
IronBear76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trucker (This the most common job in the US)
recronin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trollman
demolitionrob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:26:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kijiji. Craigslist. Unemployed.twitch. youtube.
pppdddxxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:27:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. & Mrs. Redundant
archerthegreat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:28:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Spinner. Fidget Spinner.
RingGiver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's a urologist named Dick Tapper. There's also one named Dick Chopp.
And an attorney named Sue Yoo...
Johnthomasrdu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer?
ruiluth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:29:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Unemployed ;-;
Lucaslarsen123456 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
WubbaSnuggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
programmer
WubbaSnuggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:30:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
Vae1711 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
bpnoy3 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bouncer
netsuri ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
When I was in college, I used to clean and repair band instruments. If I had stuck with it my surname could have become Hornpolisher.
I do not like this game :(
Gravelayer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:31:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Biologist .... I'll just go back to my lab now
defconxone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waste removal
"Hi my name is John Shitcleaner, and I'll get the brown out!"
Indie_uk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:32:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sarah xxx
Nuparu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
youtuber would be rather weird imo
UngilUndy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Website.
Cunide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:33:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ity, read like Aighty
ponyplop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer. ( อกยฐ อส อกยฐ)
Sherlockandload ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Unemployed.
kirbycheat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:34:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor.
Diggitydog33 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Your last comment only showing under your personal page... found it when wanting to know more! Yes please go on!
Alias-_-Me ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:35:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim BigButtCelebrity
AlphonseJMurderdog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:36:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lasersmith, Rocketwright, Codemeister.
SevenSky_DuckGod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor
Say_B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dafoe
konradkar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:37:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dotcom
Skankz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:38:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dev
Engineer
whatever retail assistant would be so...assistant?
Banker
Bored now. Bye.
Edit: Formatting
xerxes394 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:42:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greg somethinginbusiness
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This is common in the Paris community in India. Note 'walla' means the person who does that thing. Some common names are:
Engineer Contractor Sodabottleopnerwala
Juh1zz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Busdriver.
WarDwarfSalad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Danielle instamodel
KloppingThePrem ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blud.
Chav.
Fam.
cam130894 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:44:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yo, Bitch! -Jessรฉ Pimpman!!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Customer Support Specialist
Ctrl_Alt_Del_Esc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:47:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pick any emoji, that's what the world's come to at this point.
AsRiversRunRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr or Mrs. SJW.
MitchTJones ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
Scientist
Delivery boy
AsRiversRunRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber or AirB&B.
theoriok ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:48:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coadmunki
R_Lupin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and mrs Zika Mr viner Mrs twitter Sir tinder of datington Duchess e-athlete of rocketaleageuaruu
Peesneeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:49:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Single mom
azeckie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr.Dickhead
aces08 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lead Technical Engineer. That's Mr. lead Technical Engineer to you.
amchec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:50:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to see a "Dave Downonhisluckfolkmusicianwaitingtablestomakerent".
Haustinj ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jizz-Moper throwback to one of my favorite AMAs
procrastinat_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:51:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Blogs
jcore294 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger. Youtuber.
Valsartan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi, my name is Peightyn Scentsirep."
"Pleased to meet you. I'm Kaylebb Epicurep."
thomashlc ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:52:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Snakes
kinggobbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Youtuber Miss Marketer Mrs Vapeshop
Zombieobway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:53:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy In-Between-Jobs-Right-Now
detectiive ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT
Virdice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey I'm dave busdriver
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:54:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy McSolutionEngineer
Sigv4rd ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:55:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistanttotheregionalmanager...son
singul4r1ty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seรฑor and Seรฑora Barista are having a child, they're going to call him Caramelcreamfrappucino
elpollosopa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:56:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teller, Helen Teller.
AyeMyHippie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:57:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yelper
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:58:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Complainer, Coder, Youtuber, Gamer
s7uck0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodatcomputers
KjosenDay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog walker...? Maybe it would morph into Mr. or Mrs. D'gwalker
Punkeec ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sabrina Podcaster and Maggie Etsy
tullia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Writer.
Chandleabra ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lloyd Underemploydson.
codeman41 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 05:59:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Refuse Collector? ๐
turkeypants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Anusbleacher
ashisarobot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Shiteatinggrin
skatmanjoe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. John Whore.
You can just call them 'The Whores'.
(If women could pass on family names)
noporcru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Typer?
tehphred ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:00:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Names like Bruce Dickinson sure make you wonder.......
MuckYoFama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper. Seriously a lot in my town.. geez..
neoquijote ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:01:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
New English surnames hmmmm ๐ค I know Dentistavoider or perhaps something more appropriate like Shabbychoppers
atomicsnarl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer!
Speknawz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:02:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Executive
OhLookAHere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techer
cataloop ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber. Cool name
NicoDS ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Idk if I'm late to the party or if anyone else has said it but:
Dickinson
Mazda_626 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:03:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Someone's name would be Dave podcastington
Bubbles_Da_Kitten ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:04:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make my mom Mrs. IT Support and my dad Mr. Airbrush Artist...
And I would be Mr. Little shit that is unemployed
Ehhhhh not the best names...
oG_Philly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:05:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hey its Mr. Bada book Bada boom!
Ozzygriever ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor!
droopus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Javaschriptenpfeffer
pdiddy83 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:06:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Selfietaker
BQwetzal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Von Youtuber
alligatorade- ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instahoe
potemkintutu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Imstilla student
Bennybunsonnegro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:07:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alex Pornhistorian
i_am_brucelee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social Justice Warrior
Jobby75B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pimp
tylin50 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:08:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnathan Monroe Disability Jr.
notboring ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paul Pundit, Carrie Commentator, Sherman Surrogate, Sarah Spokesperson
pocketrocketsingh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:09:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Developer | John Tester | John Telecaller | John TeleMedicineSupport | John Radiologist | John Photographer |Johny Instagram | Johny Outrage|
mmmmChocolate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh you haven't met the Camwhores yet? Wonderful people.
dickatwork ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bike Taxi driver, named Richard. Dick Pedaler
whatevah_whatevah ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Auditor, Jimmy Nurse, and Jack Temp
magnummentula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:10:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I am Jon Communitysupportworker.
1979shakedown ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hi there! Me name is Jacob Intern. It's a pleasure to meet you!"
1UPZ_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:11:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mary Emojitranslator
WhatIsPants ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fryer and its shorter cousin Fry.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Devoidofmorals
jefrosan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:12:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant Trailer Park Supervisor.
I wish English lent itself to making compound words like German does.
SabinaIoana ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger. "Model".
ciabattastorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Don't forget that people will also have terrible pop-culture inspires names in the future...
So your daughter may sit right next to Danerys McTechsupport
waynerooney501 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber Internet-Celebrity UberDriver
Basileus2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:13:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
PointyWombat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
MBAsshat
Badbadbuffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Doctor the Urologist
4aka ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:14:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Laika Boss.
TrdNPnchBwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cokehead
Badbadbuffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:16:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phil Paine the Dentist
TrdNPnchBwl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wakeboarder
Badbadbuffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phillip Butts the proctologist
_-_Aspekt_-_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chris Frycook
Charles Trucker
Randall Carpeddler
Sarah Self-check-watcher
Bill Craftbeersman
Emily Socialmarketer
Edit: formatting for the love of God
jlonergan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Robert Anonymous
miles564 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:17:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well I couldnโt use my full title since itโs cognitive behaviour therapist.
IkuArashi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord or is it hyphenated as Meme-Lord or even Sir Reginald Meme-Lorde the Third.
Blue_Checkers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:18:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dogwalker.
Seg0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Guard
dungorthb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:19:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Chair, Kevin Hamburger, Kevin Student, Kevin Worthless, Kevin Suicide, Kevin lol, Kevin WoW, Kevin MTG, Kevin Random, Kevin Unemployed.
To name a few.
fibianofthemarsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mcdonalds. Or zerohour.
Jack_Mackerel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord
Kickstart
Bloggart
Fapman
rademun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Luism1184 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:20:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuberg
Zebrabox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sylvester Molester
deadbreads ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Dotcom
loki-1982 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Wellfare?
jenSCy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socialmediaguru
pisspoorplanning ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
G. B. Karmawhore
act_surprised ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ass-hat
iAmSkinner ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:21:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, or Techman
Luism1184 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer
kusanagiseed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:22:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Masterbeater
Neckbeardiode
Pornophile
Specksynder1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a baggage handler.
Bill Bagchuck? David Slingcase? Johnny Lostyurstuff?
Oh fuck it...Porter.
Nerfosticks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[Insert job title]-but I am actually a model-son.
dirtyapenz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Like Kim Dotcom? I seriously hope he's giving all his kids Dotkim as their middle names. "Hi, I'm John Dotkim Dotcom."
Hermit_Lailoken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Wageslave
Karen Midmanagement
MrBigsand ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:23:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John youtuber
Au_Struck_Geologist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:24:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rocklicker
TheMightyDoggo25 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:27:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Golddigger.
ApologiesForTheDelay ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Minnie Driver
southerncharm05 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:28:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, mine anyway would be something like "nacht-portier" I'm a night auditor.
bigoldgeek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you Mr. Barista. I'm Dave SurfstheNet.
dorabuji ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:29:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kumar it.
XFX_Samsung ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thot
WagonC ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"The name is Jobless, Steve Jobless"
mauriciolazo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:30:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maurice Sysadmin, son of Maurice Networker, son of Godfred Linotype.
thjnh159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:31:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
jeongsinmt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:32:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mike Youtuber
illuminatedeye ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
kkhed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maybe Mr./Ms. Social Media Influencer.
harshatron ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thot
Afrodiziak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:33:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer e.g Latrel Programmer
Trucker e.g William Sherman Trucker III
Broker e.g Tom H. Broker
Trader e.g Sophia Trader
Nurse e.g Jaden Nurse
Rapper e.g Lia Rapper
About all the best I could think of on the spot
buffalobill137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald would be an English name now
TeenGoddess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:34:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Dominatrix. James Dominatrix
rileyspice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:35:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mememaker
FakeTaxiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer
smilinmaniag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can imagine someone called Mr. John Drugdealer being very popular in certain groups.
Pibborn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:36:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Itguy
kanoni15 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:37:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Devile (obviously has connections with the big D.)
90percentimperfect ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:39:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
my family's name would be fraudauditor
wiretapfeast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:41:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave DeSigner, Carl Coder, Bob Broker, Dennis DeLivery, Dana DeVeloper, Anna Animator.
Creutzfeldum ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs. Catfilmer? Mr. Youtuber? Dr.Gifmaker? Hmm..
kd8qdz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista.
Librarian (thats DOCTOR Librarian to you..)
MightyMoostache ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:42:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
Topcornbiskie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:44:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McCringleberry, Hingle's the name...
HowardBass ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme, John Meme
missmaggy2u ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government did this, kind of, with with dystopian spin. Good book.
Like your last name was the company you worked for, or your school (the company that owned your school). So someone was "firstname Exxon-mobile" or "Sarah pepsi".
Lettuce-b-lovely ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
JetsFanInDenver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor.
david-bowies-bulge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Her name was Clarissa Instamodel, and just like everyone else in her family, though she had no discernable talent, she made her money by posting bum pics on intagram with the caption #belfiesarebetterthanselfies
Edit: i cant spell...
Arci996 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:45:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
troymclure69 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Reginald Doctor
hannahrocks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:46:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr./Mrs. YouTuber
hadoopken ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ian McKeyboardface?
Here!
pistonsajf8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What if I'm a soldier and uber driver, does that make me a Sober? Kinda fitting as I drive drunk people as often as I do.
vatsup11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:47:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
PrometheanRevolution ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Youtuber was struggling to think of ideas for a new video...
mordinxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:48:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mrs Helpdesk
or
Mr Techsup.
Solaterre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
TheSillyMonk5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwight Assistanttotheregionalmanager
totalanonlol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Hustler Mr or Mrs Pimp Mr Dealer Mr Robber Mr Hacker Mr Tramp Mr Lying deceitful scumbag (politician) Mr Racist (policeman)
Solaterre ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:49:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll
blueberrythyme ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aleksander Animator
Moira Lunchlady
Theodore Electrician
Adelaide Pilot
Geoffrey Prostitute
Alysanne Exterminator
Saffron Congressman
Byron Cashier
Flareknight27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:50:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Crackwhore
TheClouse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The new "Smith" would be "Cubicle".
sLiimFit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The name is Gamecaster, William Gamecaster.
epoch_fail ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hitmanson."
Shakes hand nervously
ElkorisOnTheInternet ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:51:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr Gyno
TxOxRxI ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:52:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dr. Dockter
vadvaro10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Benjamen De'Bartender
ned_walker281 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:53:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Instagram FuckTard
Gratchiie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Senior assistant branch backoffice manager? Titles are ridiculous.
LionheartRed ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Staycation, Reblogger, Freeagent, Brackets, Activists, Community-Organizer, Rehabilitated, Fastfood, Eleganza, Binary, "anything" with phobic at the end, Vegan, Corporate-Raider, Revisionist, and more but I need my Power Nap now.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:55:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT guy
Strange_But_True ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doley XD
MikeSelf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mc.Don't Give a fuck
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:56:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker?
Cockney_Chris ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:57:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
DigitSubversion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vloggerson... no! Not with an F! With a V!
aggiegwyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lisa Nurse? Polly Paramedic? Annie Aide?
reggiestered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:58:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rubbish Edit: or Rubbishman
LJawesome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wordsmith?
C3lder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Goodgamer
C3lder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gaymer
Killswitch2598 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 06:59:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Any trade
C3lder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stoner
l_lecrup ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Gig-Economy
Richard Zero-Hours?
braddeicide ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Corporateslave
C3lder ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:00:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sixpack
jaydonemunching ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Vodafone ninja
mariogrizzfan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:01:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seรฑor Full Stack
JoanneKerlot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blog.
omgwtflols ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr./Ms. Programmer
ShruggyGolden ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
TSA
SirDoDDo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:02:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber? It's fucking cringy but i guess it's appropriate consdiering every 10-14 yr old wants to become one
Amnsia ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson
captainxela ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:03:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave dole ๐
Nergaal ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:05:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dick Lawyer
Annalis Analyst
akimark ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:06:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Based on The nonsense I see on LinkedIn:
Richard Saving-Business-Time-and-Money
Sarah Social-Media-Guru
Tony Media-to-Inspire
kezzack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John post-homocide house cleaner?
chatzi09 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave marketer
Ellisattack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:07:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Middlemanagementson
FelonyFey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:08:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Programmer or Designer wouldn't be too bad I guess.
Waffleking74 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:09:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yes, hello, May I speak with a Mr Mothersbasement please?
maxou123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Office worker
ardavidson4 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
SoundCloudRapper...
Draven5555 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:10:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homless sexual
Lord_Tacitus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathan Neet
Voriki2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Progamer - Programmer
Stove-pipe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:13:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
D3ADWA1T ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what was chandler's job again?
chupathingy99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is Dale Youtuber and this is my friend Trevor Memelord. Over there is our friend Dana Instamodel.
PM_ME_UR_SO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:14:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter
Skhanna786 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:15:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. And Ms. Vlogger
vr5 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chuck Checkout
rsiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Souljaboy might be an interesting one. Say hello to Daniel Souljaboy. He's is up in this ho to work in the IT department.
Sidaeus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charles/Charlie/Chuck Clickbater
belisarius93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:16:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe Bloggs
chickenstorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ronald McDonald(s)
kiwibrandon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brandon Turnkey. Not turkey, Turnkey.
MrPoletski ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:17:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Dole.
oh wait.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ethan Karmaseeker. Has a nice ring to it.
Harvey Trollstein would be another.
rsiii ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:18:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, I do engineering for the department of defense, so Mr. Bombmaker has a nice ring to it.
ThinkHamster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:19:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Karen Keyholder and Conner Consultant. Adam Analyst.
SaryuSaryu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi. Sally Assistant is it? This is Bob Accountant from the Northern branch. Can you please transfer me through to Martha Fellatesballoonsforpervs? Thanks.
bossbeta ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:20:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be Tom Sorter
realultralord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald President
Kim Nuk'em
Angela Chancellor
Recep Tayyip Dictator
Leonardo Di Actor
MagicSPA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:21:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Barista."
rebuked_nard ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:22:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hobbyblogger. James Hobbyblogger
treestep76 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tommy Vaperson, Billy Dabsrigger, and Phil Hipstersmith are all unemployed.
r3dfox8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Trackrat signing in.
r3dfox8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Trackrat signing in.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tickytacky could be fun. They were early adopters of tech 3 decades ago. Grafter would be the folks with old money from the late decades of last century. The Grifters saw themselves shoot up into the ruling class in the late naughts. The Yellers were always at odds with the Shouters from an old feud instigated by the Shamers and Blamersin the turn of the century.
The eponymous Martins followed in their shoes footsteps. Boot builders of a fairly garish but burly nature of their diaspora made them ham fisted at times.
Drillers, Pipers, Vapers, Condensers, Burners, Traherman (Trash-herman)
Players e.g. The Trashy-Players were like a LeLolzer's love story gone full of love, life, and happiness and a boon the the worlds outreach towards the Heliopuase.
ProbablyMyLastPost ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Nice to meet you, Mr. Genius.
Wackyal123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:23:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Consultant
Developer
Animator
Radiologist
Paediatric-Specialist (double barrelled)
JOETHEHERMAPHRO ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joethehermaphro Operator?
MrLebronWeasley ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:25:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Hilakleiner
nappysack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:26:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Benefitscheat
MrFlippyNips ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonathon Ragequitter
shera88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:27:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Upvoter.
atomic1fire ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:28:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Every job as long as it's german.
David Viehzรผchter (rancher)
John Elektriker (electrician)
Leeroy Herdverkรคufer (stove salesman?)
Pretty sure you can just invent new german last names by throwing sentences together and removing the spaces.
Donald Oberbefehlshaber
LowFlyingHellfish ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. NEETman does have a certain ring to it.
imfromoki ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Student.
TehDragonGuy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:29:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Princess Consuela Bananahammock
WCC5D1F0E ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Moderator.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:30:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Victim
ProtoReddit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Streamer and his girlfriend Cindy Camslut.
Don't forget about his uncle Ulrich van Uber.
Steve Streamer is also good friends with Eddy Electrician and Tom Tester down the street.
Cindy Camslut, meanwhile, enjoys chilling with her girlfriends Betty Blogger and Sally Stripper.
Sadly, they all had a falling out with their old pals Gary Grassgrower and Robert Roboticist.
INSANITY_RAPIST ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:31:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitter
ArandomFluffy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeist
MBNLA ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
This has given me so many good names for me to use in novels. I'm the worst at coming up with names...
HowlFX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streeper
donkestdopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Failure
obvs_an_engineer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:35:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vivian vlogger. Ben blogger. India influencer. Tammy tweeter. Gary gamer (middle name pro, or possibly lives in parent's basement). Harry hashtag. Gavin googleton. Peter podder. Rachel ruiner-of-all-meals-with-excessive-photos-of-both-the-food-and-herself (i don't know how she monetises it but she's always eating out).
captainant16 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:36:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My ex would have the last name of Whore or Cheater. Oh wait, profession?
Dreamkiller.
puby911 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:37:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Smith, Baker, etc got their names from professions.
Where did 'Dickinson' came from? ;thinking;
JD4Destruction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Desksita
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:38:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Socialmeejaguru
Nikolateslaandyou ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:39:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kardashian
Glypshmergle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Chief Executive Officer
engineeredengine ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Edward Engineerson
spottedstripes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:40:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dabny
elmiraguth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme-Economist
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
lisa porn star
theroguex ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber.
pauljs75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:41:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Could probably end up working for Slacker and Pixelpusher Design LLC.
Beedoofer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:42:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
Iameuanblack ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd say that today people are less serious about naming (parents giving their kids GoT related names and so on) so we'd get a few weird ones but I'd guess most of them would just be phrases lifted from other languages because they sound nice
pkisb10 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:43:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Insta Snapper Bloggers Vlogger Wanabees
ProvenTested ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Greggs?
egesquiere ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:44:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank Unemployed
alfiejs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:45:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Douchebag-Sportsperson (it's hyphenated, but it doesn't make it classier)
SesshySiltstrider ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:46:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think a Mrs. Mech and Mr. Roboto would be a perfect couple
m703324 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ed deSigner
VanessaStone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:47:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger?
xxAkirhaxx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:48:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computerman
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itguy
hherglotz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:49:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
drumroll
Influenza
B00dle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Miss Unemployed-CrushedSoul
catiinboots ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sparky, Chippy
MozzaB1994 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Urban Trend Setter"
PsychoChick005 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Y'Tuber
Whynotminot6969 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What would avionics technician be
BastardoftheEdfort ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not that it's popular but I'm a radiographer so maybe Rayer for X-rays or something?
Macmula ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITSlave
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:51:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael Soundcloudrapper
agrarianToast ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:54:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello my name is Richard Minecraftminigamesletsplayer
denvercabanes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troller
usernameinvalid9000 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:55:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
yourenan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Henlo my name is Mr. Teachingassistant
tehdub ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:56:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Assistant Manager. Which would get shortened to assmanager, and eventually assman.
cescyblue ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diamond trader.
So I guess Diamor.
pomegranate2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Mrs Growthacker
greg9999ca ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:57:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Gregory Applestacker. I work in a grocery store.
isignedupforthis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Google.
demonchefofportland ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sous
pomegranate2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:58:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr & Mrs Howsflipper.
TheEntropicMan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Aaw man, I'm so jealous of people with cool surnames like Smith. I'm stuck with the most common one - Sitsatadesk."
A-dona-I ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:59:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
george shrink
pomegranate2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas B. Pharma.
teasizzle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dole.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Developer
Michael Retailer
Tyrone Welder
Shaun President
Yeah, I can see it.
Adipid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:00:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Welfare
moon_monkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Codemonkey, rather than Moon Monkey
pomegranate2012 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:01:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dom Ainame (Reg).
Slaisa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:02:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prufit. Maximillian Prufit
MonkeyDCamel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitute
Iamglennn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dylan Debunker
KrypticEon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:04:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickhead
NorthernerWuwu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Twitchman has a nice ring to it!
avavrtt ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:07:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Animator
Onsh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:09:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Famous Instawhore Dotcom Dole Pyramid
Lus_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dean Designer.
Nazorus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:11:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Hello Mr. Codepisser, how are you today?"
gmtime ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm John, John Peear. This is my wife Jane Ashear. She's working in the PR department, I'm the company's HR manager.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:13:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker
doctor_why ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:15:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Aiteeguy.
Mohoyorodo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Server
SilverHamsterIdkLmao ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr / Mrs Pornstar.
Mr / Mrs Janitor
Mr / Mrs Spez
RSTUVdoubleVXYZ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:21:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Chrissy Camhorsdottir
TheTrueAndOnlyUriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:23:44 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I whoud go for John Unemployed. Edit: Name fix
deanjames82 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:25:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer
Mpikoz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:26:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freelance
Ashmai ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:27:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Cloud
yesgoodsir ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:28:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
thesquarerootof1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi! Nice to meet you. My name is Mary Amway. Have you heard about an opportunity where you can be your own boss?
AFguard84 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:31:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whine. Def whine.
mikeropannus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:32:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Nukeguard... sounds more badass than it really is.
CedricRBR ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer
Imyourlandlord ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:34:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Michael streemer
StuffyPigon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn star?
StuffyPigon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:42:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Blaze_fox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:45:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Software dev.
what would we do with that?
FizzleMateriel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government.
snubb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:48:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder
Vlaar2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:55:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Itor. Middle name: Jan.
MartinRouter ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:56:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sergeant...?
But seriously i have a friend who is called Sargent.
Y0y0r0ck3r ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:58:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Charlie b.j. hooker
save_thefox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:59:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Rick stocker Adam driver Susan unemployed
ryfick ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My surname translates to 'to fuck' in German. As far back as I know we have no German links.
You_talking_to_moi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:00:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Enema-stein
jawn-lee ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Cunt.
jafhrdz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:02:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hmm I'd be Librarian... Sounds kinda lame though how about Booktender? Or Bookman?... Yes, Bookman, me gusta.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:03:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James programmer.
He programs stuff
Gr3yH4m3YT ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:04:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dave Instructor
yogeshgirase9 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:06:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales
dustractor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hugh Tuber.
NewWave647 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:07:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Instagramodel
sugartea63 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:09:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper
footballer11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I have a client who's surname is Raper
UnreachablePaul ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:11:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Narc, Steve Trimmer, Mary Bodybagger
jaceinthebox ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:13:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trump Wallbuilder
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:20:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst lol
the_fot88 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:23:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John BankWanker
uwoooot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:24:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Banker
eratosensei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:26:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Outuber
makeleo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Soundcloudrapper
imanc18 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:27:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Elon Rocketlauncher Marques YouTuber!! (MKYHD) etc.,
gritd2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:30:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Redditor
David Spammer
Greg Agitator
rekazm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:31:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Boat/Sailor
McBoatface
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:33:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Streamer
Five_Dozen_Keggs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:34:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
lefterispel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:41:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Faper
drkalmenius ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joe ScrumMaster
Butchimus ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:46:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Uber
TheBarman8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Josh Semen-Donor
the_anti_buddy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:50:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fluffer?
SuperMarioChess ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:52:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jack Hydraulic.
Hunter_Seeker99 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. ReplacedByMachines
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:53:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cindy Escort
laughingman123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:54:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
That would make it real hard for pro thieves to get away with crimes
Jnr_Guru ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:55:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bludger
futurespice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:56:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Parsis (and other communities) in India pretty much have such surnames; I've met Treasurywallas, Consultants, Contractors...
doobiep ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
scruffy_snuggles ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:58:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name translates to pharmacist im Greek. (Literal translation is poison) so someone back home in Greece sold alms.
BillieGin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 09:59:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Fraud
delphi_edict ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:00:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditor
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:02:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. George Computerman
talkingjunky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Jizzmopper
NotThatSkeleton ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:03:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I think ones for writers would be interesting. Journalists and authors.
Barry Pensmith or like, Jim Newsman
egrith ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder, you would know a lot of coders
fettsack2 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:04:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtubechannelhaver
HaggisLad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:05:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I once saw someones name come through into our systems from HR, Orlando Silverwolf. I will never see it's like again
SeanyboyX ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:06:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hodor
Saxon2060 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:02 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We often pronounce the '-man' at the end of surnames just as -m'n.
So profession names pronounced that way like Milkm'n, Postm'n, Firem'n sound pretty legit.
Mr Milkman. I like that.
gamer_redditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Redditmod
B4CKSN4P ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:08:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker. James Fucker. Porn movie specialist
GalvanizedRubber ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:09:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Retail drone, Genius,idiot.
TrivialMuffin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:11:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Meme creator
DJLinFL ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:12:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cumberbatch - BOOM!!
stalkasauras111 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:15:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Manager
DireStrike ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:16:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Droneman, Snowflake, Protester, Doleman, Genderless
Erectile-Reptile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:17:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Would professional gamers get their ingame names?
nizzbot ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:20:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
David Coder Francine Frontenddeveloper Tod Seniorveepee Bradley Broker Steven Sensitivity-Trainer Paula Petherapist
RagingAnemone ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I wonder if that's why Asian surnames comes first. Taylor John makes more sense than John Taylor.
tree5eat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:26:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker, Hooker's older brother and son of Thug.
frmsync ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:29:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Manager. Mr Manager.
Penguititis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:35:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Junkie, or something to do with claiming welfare
BigCinBKK ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:36:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker.
lobchob ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:38:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lord Neckbeard
LookingForMod ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
OfficeBitch
received_error ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:39:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
jbsinger ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:42:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Datawrangler
fewkillallama ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
noob,femenist,
coffeeblossom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:43:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Blogger
milibucket ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:46:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Lumber jinny..
LordBrook ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:48:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Coldcaller
sveol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jonnie Nerd. Btw Ritch as hell, he was the first in line and created the family wealth.
Orval ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:49:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Dealer.
I'm a dealer in a Casino. Or the other kind. Whichever.
El_Raro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memelord
MrsPunkAs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:50:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Chugger
pxtleo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jeff Developer
OneTrueHetalian ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:51:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber.
iteachlit ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Armando Videogamerson.
Gibrahltar ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:53:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed...
svenishen ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Businessowner
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:54:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I worked in a phone store and we all had business cards made by the boss who made our name the same font as our position so it looked like all of us had the last name 'sales' customers were always asking if we were a family or something
Flatinislington ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:55:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Engineer, Manager, Doctor (already exists), techsupport.
ioccasionallysayha ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:01 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"And your name, sir?"
"Steven Unemployed"
Grabthembythemushy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The CodeMonkey clan help build this country.
Jamie876 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:57:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would unfortunately be named Jamie Hazmattec, and everyone would think I was Aztec or Mayan.
Thermodynamicist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Liar
An extremely successful family, dominant in a diverse range of careers, such as politics, marketing, law etc..
Bullshitter
Less successful relatives of the Liars.
Nothing-in-Particular
Self employed.
Garathon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Progamer
Garathon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:00:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Socialmediamanager
Linderella ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I could be Miss Whitehat...but in real life be a blackhat
TheElite3740 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:59:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
call centre
HandsomeSlav ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Peter Trashman Lucy Doc Nick Driver
fennekcky ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Backenddeveloper
_BlackW0lf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:01:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr penertrationtesta
dogbots159 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Computerman comes to mind.
Jaizoo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:02:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everything with music would be really fun. Kanye Rapper, Billy Joe Guitarsinger, Ozzy Drugs, Marshall Dictionary
SloshWei ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr IT-guy
adam_aves ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:08:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dog shit picker upper
Aaronski75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr Benifit
CallMeBaitlyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:10:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Be a lot of people with the last name Welfare.
YourCrohnie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:13:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A baker might be named "John Dough"
danrob11 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Social Media Analyst
Mr Don Trendman
NukeML ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:14:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prohgaemur-Fortwennysikstinine.
KennySNES ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:15:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buzzfeedarticlewriter
double_dad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:16:15 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hacker or h4x0r
DrMaxMonkey ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Waiter
Pointypo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:17:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald J. Fuckupman
Aries240ss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:18:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Welfare...
Gear_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
IT.
CallMeBaitlyn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:20:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Makes that scene in Airplane a lot easier to understand.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:22:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John striker, tube driver.
Retrograde_Lectin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bill Crackho Jim engineer.
bikermonk ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:24:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John OrangePeeler
AkiraTelekinesis ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:26:38 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Something about spending too much time on the internet
skadishroom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:35:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
In fairness, this could work. You wouldn't get a surname until you finished school. "Hi I'm Mrs Teacher, my husband Mr Logistics, and our son Master Bruce Learnington.
CocoDaPuf ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:37:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm John Dr. Prof-Coder.
Yeah my parents decided to just hyphenated their names. Oh, my middle name, "Dr"? That was my great grandfather's name, basically I got it to make grandma happy.
Scarletfapper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:38:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Deadbeat Conman Politician NEET Born Too Rich To Care
kingdingus96 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:39:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
WelfareRecipient
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:43:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Steve Ipad
Dave Ipod
Mike Iphone
Jim Idont
James Idunno
Trent Ido
Clint Imight
Jai137 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:44:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'd think 'John Gamer' would be higher up
xxxglitterkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:45:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beauty-technician
darkest-mirror ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:48:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Stripper
DummyCreature0 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson.......
Northern_ledgend ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:51:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stephen Diversity And Inclusion Officer
joe1up ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
YouTuber
notinferno ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:22 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi Mr and Mrs Coach
Kcs8v6 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:52:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd like to think that Coder would be a name.
msk1974 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Freecheck.
Joe1972 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please refer to a list of pornstar names for a fairly comprehensive overview on this subject.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:53:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Susan Twerksonyoutube, its Balkan by origin.
Absolutelee123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:54:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd be Lee Retailmanagercatsitteroperaproducer
Dean88gr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tonia Slut, Jimmy Liftweights, Taylor Twerker, Johnny Busboy, Nicky Waitress
KazDragon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:59:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, my name is Jason Scrum Master.
frankly_a_nigga ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cockcutter
MolochTheFilthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tuber
MolochTheFilthy ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:00:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tester
theduckslayer12 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:02:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The names pornstar. John pornstar
ngibelin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You might want to read "Jennifer Government" by Max Berry
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:03:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Joel Scamartist
jw2702 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:07:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memegenerator
dogdogdogdo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dirtysockseller
derpado514 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:13:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dwain Debugger ( duh-bugger)
Jake Driver
Susie Stemcell
fizzgirl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:14:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker
Griever114 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Report-Monkey
Everyones__Grudge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:15:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Disability-pension
inhumanrampager ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:17:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'd now be Boxsmasher. Not sure if this is nsfw.
SketchyConcierge ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:18:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jim Garbageman, at your service.
JGisSuperSwag ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:19:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald.
Vikingfreeze ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:20:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Yaboy
idgarad ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Afker, Clickerson, Stareatscreen, Coder (pronounced Koh-Dare), Consumer, Doler.
TheCatSnatch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:23:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bagger. Low end retail position.
Szzntnss ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With all the privatization going down inevitably people would end up with the name Middleman.
Yocoolman ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:27:33 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seeing what i've met in the subway, cunt would be pretty popular.
mshaneler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:33:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:35:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scammer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm soooo late to the party but no one's said chemist? I had a novel character in a future setting named Blake Chemist with this exact concept in mind
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:40:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My husband is a machinist so that would be a fun surname.
mininick64 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:44:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Daniel Webmaster
HarmonyBird117 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:47:18 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Techsupport
abenzenering ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:48:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
We have this man at my office, Mike Twitterguy
arnhnotarun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:07 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roughneck, Roustabout, Derrickman, Storekeeper, Mudlogger.
Yanman_be ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:49:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jessica Instagramwhore
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John azeroth
Marcus Horde
For those unemployed wow players of old.
mrwillbobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tom Benefits
jfrawley28 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hancock
notevebpossible ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:50:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McDonald
Goddstopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beerknurd
Goddstopper ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:53:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Beerknurd
10acious ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:54:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Googler - I read error messages, google it, apply fix.
IronMegadeth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 12:56:11 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny P. Star
aydjile ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:00:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hello, my name is James Midmenedger. I would like to book a shuttle to ze Moon, Twilight Resort for tonight.
TabletopNewtype-1 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:03:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A perfect welsh name would be: Socialmediacontentmanager
TheShirtyOne ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:09:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kevin Fedora-Neckbeard
TheOneBeer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:14:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bhagwan Scammer
BornTooSlow1975 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:15:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr/Ms Sweatshop
Teomalan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:17:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr and Mrs Welfare Mr and Mrs Handout Mr and Mrs SSICheck
Negromancers ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:22:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker.
pm_your_lifehistory ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:25:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Oddjob was my father's name, call me Jayden.
LordRaeko ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:31:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
De'Emvee
Rikolas ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:33:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
DuckLippedMcSelfieTaker
smallmadscientist ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:37:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Scientist
Kvlka666 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:39:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
-Strumpet. sounds very posh. Elizabeth Strumpet.
-DickGrabmesnitch. like a russian name. Svetlana DickGrabmesnitch
-Vloga. Another Russian name. Vulga Vloga.
thiccsuck ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:40:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dealer
riazmim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:50:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
baltu-baba
I_WASTE_MY_TIME ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:53:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Josh Callcenterson, how can I help you?
chuberific ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 13:56:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Diddler
AFutureNurse ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:00:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITguy
Combersquatcher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:02:12 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Reality tv star
I'd then go through the phone book and prank call every single one
Edymnion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:03:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fun Fact:
I've actually considered changing my surname to Programmer.
lilmorphinannie ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troller.
B. Hurt Troller.
Teifectur ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:05:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickpickian
bobbyditoro ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:07:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
J. Emoji-Translator
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickinson... maybe not a "career", but do what you love
WALKINS24 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:15:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Teacher
charleshb417 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:18:31 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"James Agile-Rockstar-Ninja" if we are including those startup titles.
sophiaissilly ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:22:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald J President
mousicle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:27:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I'm a Controller. I always thought that was an overblown name for a accountant but it would make a badass last name.
Throwaway422427 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:31:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Frank Blogger
HYPERmonster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:35:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Well, seeing that unemployment in America is at 4.3%, Mr Jobless might seem like a pretty likely name.
babylina ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:36:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Alina Customer Service Representative
Plenicorn ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:38:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
Alvbatross ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:43:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
mark0210 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:44:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mark Implementation
punromantic ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:25 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Little Timmy Telemarketer knew what he was going to be when he grew up.
kyl3r123 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:52:26 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Marketer.
Ms. Scrummaster.
Elipes_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:53:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Suicide bomber
Nemacolin ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:09 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wordsmith Copywriter Editor
Zomgzombehz ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 14:56:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper/Fappington, Memer, Triggerson, Saltsworth.
imaginary_name ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:00:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Coder. James Coder.
sniperhare ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:01:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The names Shitposter, get it right.
MosquitoOfDoom ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Youtuber
highatopthething27 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:03:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Project manager
Hi, I'm Katherine Projectmanager
520throwaway ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:05:24 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penetration Tester
mischimischi ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. Websurfer. ha ha ha
or better yet, Ms. Redditgold. LOL
ThatGuyYouWantToBe ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:17:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There's always the golden "Dickinson"
Dixon02 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:22:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The Wal-Mart family.
Illuqsion ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:25:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bob Callcenter
KRBridges ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:26:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I can think of one
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:49:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Camgirl
Comrade-Chernov ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:51:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memer.
emolga_91 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analyst
creon ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:53:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, is Johnny Phonesystemdesignguy available
mastershek ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:55:49 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analist
ZenMuso ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 15:58:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Driver
Eagle555557 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:29 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tech.
MACTX3B ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:01:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Facebooker Mrs. Googler Snt. father Internetungler
SCCock ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:02:21 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Byte Disk
k143love ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:04:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Barista?
hrbutt180 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:23:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Please come in Mr Fourchan!
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:26:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Realtor, Bricky, Driver, Suitman,Assist. Staffington?
Gopherson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:32:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fapper
Beccorban ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:34:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brian Accountmanager
fuzzytwinkies ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:50:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cranjis McBasketball
zUltimateRedditor ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:54:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Doctor. Teach. King. I'll edit, if I think of more.
I_poop_for_fun ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:56:06 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Job-Hunter
quantumbiome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 16:57:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Troll. And that's, Mr. Troll to you.
barbecue_invader ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:03:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jennifer Government
dinnerthief ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:05:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
hooker
unibrowfrau ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:06:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
D'Engineer
dljens ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bagger
Streamer
Developer/Programmer
ReginasBlondeWig ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:08:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Billy Bigmacwrapper.
janglang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:21:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickhead would be at least as popular as Smith or Jones I'm sure. Also, just learned that dickhead auto corrects to Richard.
Pizzacrusher ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:24:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Celine Ceiling-Expert
Omny87 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:28:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
The president would be called "Mr. President" regardless if whether he was in office or not
spaghettibear420 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:33:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Brian Customerservicerepresentative
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:34:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Databaseadmin" would be a really shit name to have (and it would be mine).
NeoGP ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:36:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Coder
strangersIknow ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:41:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Retailer" or "Server", maybe even "Lawman" or something for Lawyers...
Digreth ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:43:08 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fucker / Fucked = pornstar surname depending on gender (sexual orientation not withstanding)
JZ_the_ICON ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:44:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jenny Instahoe
Nameshavebeenaltered ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:58:47 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Octomomson
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:17:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Multilevelmarketing or SelfemployeedgreatwagesworkasmuchoraslittleasIwant - Askmehow
Anonasty ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:23:48 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Wanker
Teomalan ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:28:13 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Panhandler
FilthyBoobs ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:32:56 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Courtney Instagram- Model.
Bob from-Marketing.
Emily Triggered.
mafa7 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:35:46 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer.
supercutepol ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:36:42 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Model
Shanksdoodlehonkster ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:38:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jimmy Halo
YoreWelcome ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:43:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kim Justfamous
Jacob Streamer
Daniel Officeman
Todd Stocktrade
Becky Freelancegraphicdesigner?
imaloony8 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:44:30 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Related: I worked with a guy named Hunter who had two brothers named Taylor and Fisher respectively. Their parents were amused. They were not.
On topic: Blogger
keeperofcats ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:58:16 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
There would be a ton of Iwriteforjamespattersons.
ThisCrazyCat ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:03 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Influencer
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:04:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sucksballsforafiver would certainly be interesting.
Thebiginfinity ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:21:20 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Janelle TwitterPRshitposter
RecklessAngel ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:37:40 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Seasonalworker
owenkimmler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:23 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pokemon Master
owenkimmler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:43:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Porn Star
someboooooodeh ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:48:27 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
.
Ade_93 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:59:52 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Kp
Bebop268170 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:47:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McLargehuge
RandomCashier75 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:12:37 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Common one (my biological grandfather's but not mine): Kramer/Cramer
theapechild ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:34:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Genius
Th3bigM00se ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:41:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I would be "Information Systems Technician 3rd Class Moose"
Neutroniks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:03:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. and Mrs. Coder
ExFiler ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Marketer, Webcoder, Fraudster, Scammer...
Tech Support (Helptech?) Blogger, Mobile chef (Cookster?)...
BraveLilToaster42 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:15:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Developer, Administrator, Secretary, Analyst
HansBlixJr ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:26:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Glenn Snackwell
stevrm77 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:30:54 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"I'm Mr. Manager!"
LoosePomegranates ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:31:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Techsupport
cytiven ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:40:04 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Stripper?
johnnydonovan17 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:52:41 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Sales Associate
silvasankle ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:46:34 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Iza Instagram-model
namemag100 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 04:25:32 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger
jonabinks ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 10:27:45 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
James Charles Unemployed Jr
HarokaSado756 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:06:23 on September 6, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. Sexpert (as in sex therapist)
richycolyer ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:19:43 on September 7, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Jake Fromstatefarm
do-call-me-papi ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 18:45:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Fappingson
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 18:30:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Homan... Ya know cause you a hoe
glamouramore ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:09:36 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I love this. What a great question!
ChaosKodiak ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:36:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Whinny, feminist, bitch
uce_jitsu ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Welfare
Sediss ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 00:07:50 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
LOL
allthekos ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 19:27:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr vlogger Mrs minecrafter Miss redditor
Loves2watch ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:55:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hooker. Blower
ArmyFrog ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:57:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Prostitute
enigmical ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 20:59:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar.
friske-tenisice ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:06:03 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
KGBBigAl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:27:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
Zipzin_ ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:28:34 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cunt
jUkkLeb ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Addict
Parker4815 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Apple Genius. Those poor future bastards...
DrSwagnusson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:43:27 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Unemployed
HoboSkid ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Buttlicker
Lyeim ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:47:42 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Pornstar
Mb2assassin43 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:11:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Penetrator, from Security Penetration. This name would be great for porn, but not for much else.
kitp2011 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:14:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Burgerflipper, Tacobender....
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:50:34 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Foodsmith.
Rakon14 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:22:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Holy shit. I never realized that last names were connected to professions like that. I'm fucking stupid as hell.
sloothunter69 ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 23:14:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Depends on your origin.
But most of Europe yes.
Like the Spanish last name "Matamoros" refers to Spanish soldiers known for participating in the crusades against muslims.
Or smiths in Britain known for being black smiths/lock smiths.
But then there are people just named after places.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:52:19 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Not stupid. You learn this with time. Cooper. Jaeger. Hammerstein. Butcher. These all have old meanings.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:37:47 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
A nice hyphenated last name like Unpaid-Intern.
dardios ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:44:50 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Everyone knows the oldest last name would be cockgobbler. 'hi, I'm Melissa Cockgobbler, I'll be your waitress today!'
IONASPHERE ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:48:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Seรฑor Shitposter
liamemsa ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Vlogger, YouTuber,
hermanospollo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:54:48 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Johnny Unemployed Jane Underemployed
yomandenver ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:28 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
McBoatface
Futbo ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Memeus
hclar_52 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 22:59:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"Welfare"
CalmDisfunction ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:12:21 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms. InstaThot ๐
pjohnson2017 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:53:49 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi I'm John Unemployedman
Average_Giant ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 00:05:28 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Thomas Bodyatadesk
amopdx ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:36:57 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Trustfundian
SteveMcQueen36 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 03:56:35 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Caden Chip (Programmer)
Makenzie Ring (Retail)
Jaden High (Cannabiz)
Aiden Zero (Unemployed)
Riley Collector (Debt Collection)
chickenstorm ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:12:43 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Phillicity Social-Justice Warrior. Warrior is a cool last name at least
witherschynes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:24:36 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
oh you probably mean Phillip Dole.
witherschynes ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:32:14 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
What about other naming conventions? Eric Stevenson becomes Eric Stevensnonbinarygenderfluidponykinoffspring.
Geicosellscrap ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 11:47:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Racist Trump.
LilithAkaTheFirehawk ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 19:10:52 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name is actually Skipper - which means that all I have to do is become a skipper and buy a boat. And I'll be all set.
Blinkskij ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:23:39 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Skipper Skipper
lady-kl ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 23:45:59 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You'll also need a Gilligan to be your little buddy.
[deleted] ยท -12 points ยท Posted at 21:48:31 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Cuckold would be No. 1 in the U.S.
Calmecac ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 20:50:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My name is Calmecac Procrastinerson
McProcrastiner or Procrastinez depending on the country
jjg0750 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:39:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Analbleacher.
Cyno01 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 21:40:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ms Instragramho?
wyattgriffith ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:42:11 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
John Welfare
[deleted] ยท -3 points ยท Posted at 18:35:53 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Motherfucker
master-of-orion ยท 5 points ยท Posted at 18:54:45 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Interesting career choice...
PM_me_ur_pants_pls ยท 3 points ยท Posted at 19:52:30 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Being a father is more of a calling.
Birch2011 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 21:42:16 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
My last name would be Officer. My husband's would be Musician. If I hyphenated, I'd be Birch2011 Officer-Musician. Pretty cool.
[deleted] ยท -9 points ยท Posted at 19:08:00 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
[deleted]
Fastnate ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 02:48:59 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our prices have never been lower!!
Arsinoei ยท -4 points ยท Posted at 21:58:10 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
ITT: Some if the most enjoyable comments on Reddit today :)
goingcatholic ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 22:51:37 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Our society sucks balls.
DasLizard ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 04:18:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Ballsuckerson
lectroblez ยท -30 points ยท Posted at 22:35:51 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Dickwad. Mr. Trump Dickwad.
janglang ยท 2 points ยท Posted at 17:24:00 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
looks like someone left the cage open over at r/TheDonald...
bignicky222 ยท 8 points ยท Posted at 22:38:09 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
You spelled emperor wrong.
bonster85 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 18:56:01 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Couchpotato
Benefitscheat
Unemployable
Itguy
Cashier
karmisson ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:40:56 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Maggie Couchpotato and Doris Couchpotatoe (unrelated)
bonster85 ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 21:44:04 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Roy Itguy not related to moss Itguye
libcrybaby78 ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 23:23:02 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Radical Islamic Terror
zoketime ยท 0 points ยท Posted at 05:15:05 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Donald Bullshitter
TheIncredibleHork ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 20:54:26 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Paris and Kim would be from the Sextaper clan.
EveryGoodNameIsGone ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:07:32 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I guess mine would be Labtech or Labtec. Not terrible.
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 22:45:44 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Hi, I'm Mr Lazy-Office-Worker-With-Coronary-Heart Disease-Because-I-Sit-On-My-Ass-All-Day, nice to meet you
arctane ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 23:10:25 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
"whore" "narcissist"
Brumaire57 ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:43:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Bullshit new occupations would make brilliant names ("Mr. Chiefhappinessofficer")
Caligullama ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 00:52:17 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Tim Shitposter
Just like OP
tunersharkbitten ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 02:20:39 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
what about lasiesach O'shit
plenty of those out there
[deleted] ยท -1 points ยท Posted at 14:10:45 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
For Catholic priests there could be several. Father Altar Boy Rapist, Father Molester, Pope Hide Rapists, Pope John The Pedophile III
[deleted] ยท -14 points ยท Posted at 00:21:55 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
With all the liberals these days:
"FaggotMuslimTreeKin"
Madmantwentyone ยท 6 points ยท Posted at 00:36:32 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
how clever did you feel typing this?
janglang ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 17:25:10 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
they're still trying to read this...
petite_philosopher ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 19:03:19 on September 4, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Avocadotoast
[deleted] ยท -2 points ยท Posted at 00:40:51 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Mr. And Mrs. Offended
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 07:53:53 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
Profession. The question is about professions, not your personal imaginary demons.
[deleted] ยท 1 points ยท Posted at 08:12:58 on September 5, 2017 ยท (Permalink)
I've seen professional offendeds before.